#I once wrote a short story as a gift to my mom cause she complained I never shared any of my stuff with her

[ratstuckinamarble]

It's a lot less daunting than you'd think! I was super nervous the first time I posted a fanfic but everyone was super nice (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠) And listen. If you come up with enough to want to do this. I would adore it. You could think it's the worst thing you've ever written (though I sure hope you wouldn't), and it would still bring me so much joy.

But, that's kinda irrelevant. What matters is that you have fun with it. That it's worthwhile to you. I'll just be there to cheer you on ( ・⁠▽⁠・)⁠⊃♡

Dracugoona but it's G1 💗 need more of these moments in G3 🤭

[cg29fics]

Pick and Mix Collection

A selection of Little Tracy fics for @gordonthegreatesttracy and @psychoseal

All can be found with other short stories in my Pick & Mix Collection on AO3 & FFNet: CreativeGirl29

School Reports. Aged 8.

Scott Tracy:

Scott is a bright young boy, who is extremely popular with all his classmates. He is always first to put himself forward for team challenges and is a natural team leader. However, Scott tends to be impulsive and rush into an activity or challenge, which on occasions as cost him a higher mark. Scott excels in English, Geography and Physical Education but tends to struggle in maths.

John Tracy:

John is a quiet, introspective and intelligent young man, who excels in Science, Maths, English and Information Technology. John as the potential to go far in life and could be moved up a grade if he was to apply himself to what he once referred to as the ‘boring subjects’ and stop correcting myself and my other colleagues when we are trying to teach.

Virgil Tracy:

Virgil is a lovely, thoughtful boy, who always listens in class, speaks when he is spoken to, and on occasions has gone out of his way to support other classmates when they are struggling. Virgil has a gift for art, music and history. He also recently earned top marks when we taught first-aid in his class. However, I would like to bring to your attention Virgil’s tendency to day dream when he is not taking part in one of his favourite subjects.

Gordon Tracy:

Gordon is a conundrum and seems to have two sides to him. On the one side, you have the sweet boy who will always be there for his friends, excels in physical education, especially swimming and did surprisingly well when we did our big baking day. However, the other side of Gordon has a habit of constantly chatting in class, despite being asked to be quiet and as unfortunately become known as the school clown. If Gordon were to apply himself in all his work instead of drawing pictures of himself as a fish, he could gain good marks in all his classes.

Alan Tracy:

Alan is a smart boy who as always got a smile on his face. When he is interested in a subject, or as been caught by an idea he is an absolute pleasure to teach. However, like his brother before him, he tends to chat in class, and on many occasions, has had his portable computer console confiscated when he has been found playing on it, instead of learning. Alan struggles in History but excels in science and maths. I would also like to bring to your attention Alan’s report on ‘Our Heroes.’ All the children in his class decided to write about a celebrity, sports personality or historical figure. Instead, Alan wrote a fantastic and touching report where he named his older brother John as his hero and who he would most like to be like when he grows up.

5 more fics beneath the cut

**

STAR BOY:

"John you've been told not to run in the house." His father complained, catching his 4-year-old son in his arms.

"I'm not John." John answered with a serious face.

"Oh, you're not?" Jeff remarked, observing the cape John had attempted to make out of his comfort blanket. "Well, I must say, you certainly look like my John!"

"Shush! Daddy." John whispered. No one can know my secret ident…" John paused, thinking about the word he was struggling to say. "Ident…"

Jeff smiled. "Identity."

John grinned. "Yeah, my secret identity."

"So, who are you then?" Jeff inquired curiously.

"I'm Star Boy." John shouted, as he managed to struggle free and started running around in circles.

Jeff let out a chuckle at his son's exuberance. "So, Star Boy. What powers do you have?"

"Fly in space." John cried with joy.

"And what's your current mission Jo… I mean Star Boy?"

John ground himself to a sudden halt. "Find baby Virgie!" He stated with a thoughtful look.

"Virgil." Jeff corrected. "And he's not missing, he's nice and safe in your mummy's tummy."

John stared at his dad in confusion. "But I heard you and mummy say that he was late, and then mummy said if he didn't turn up soon she would…"

"Okay, John." Jeff said cutting John off. He would have to have a word to Lucille about what John had overheard. He knew she would be mortified but John seemed to have exceptional hearing and they both knew that their boy was very bright for his age. Jeff held his arms out for his current youngest son. John happily ran into them, and let himself be pulled up onto his father's lap. "Now, Virgil is still safe in your mummy's tummy, the reason he's late is because your mum has made it so comfortable in there that he doesn't want to leave yet."

"But I want to find him, cause then I'll get to be big brother like Scotty." John frowned.

Jeff pulled John into a warm hug. "And you will be a brilliant big brother just like Scott." He assured him.

As Jeff held John tightly in his arms, a shout from his mother came from in the kitchen, followed by his oldest son running into the room.

"Daddy, Grandma said to tell you mummy's waters broken!" Scott panted.

Jeff pulled himself to his feet, keeping John firmly in one arm, and taking Scott's hand with the other. "Well, my Star Boy." Jeff said, looking at John with pride. "It looks like your mission was successful!"

"It was?" John asked with a puzzled expression.

Jeff beamed as he stood John next to Scott, who automatically took his little brother's hand in his. "Yes, you did!" He added, with a concerned look towards the kitchen as he heard his mother and Lucille call for him once more. "Looks like baby Virgil is on his way!"

Several hours later:

John grinned with joy, as with his mother's help, he held his new baby brother in his arms. "Hey, Virgie." He said softly. "I'm John, your big brother… And my secret is I'm also Star Boy." He whispered. "I helped find you today!" John looked at Virgil who gazed at him with his big eyes. "And my next mission is to be your big brother." He said with a contented sigh.

**

4 little brothers.

12 year old Scott Tracy stretched out in his bed, enjoying the warmth from is duvet on a cold winters night. Yes, this was his time. His time to relax after a full on day spent with 4 hyper younger brothers. His time to bask in the peace and quiet his room provided…

… THUNDERCLAP … the pouring rain began hammering at his window …

Scott sighed, threw back his blanket and began counting "5, 4, 3, 2, 1…"

… THUNDERCLAP … 4 scared little brothers rushed into his room …

"Come on then, jump in."

… THUNDERCLAP… 4 scared little brothers scurried noisily into the bed.

Pulling the blanket over them all Scott smiled when he felt each of them snuggle up to him. 'Forget the peace and quiet,' he thought to himself. He would prefer to have his 4 brothers any day!

**

First Day.

“Don’t want too…” Alan whined, clinging desperately onto his father’s trousers.

“But you have to,” Jeff returned, trying to loosen his son’s grip.

“Why?”

“Because…” Jeff paused, then exhaled, he had no answer for his baby. Honestly, he was out of his depth, normally this was Lucille’s job, but she wasn’t here like she had been for his other boys… He glanced at his four sons standing close by, none of them had wanted to miss this moment, none of them wanted Alan to feel like he was missing out on something, even though they knew that he was. After all, it shouldn’t be them doing this, it should be their mother. They’d all had her here for their first day, but Alan wouldn’t… And even though he hadn’t said anything they could see it in his eyes that he knew he was different from all of the other kids who were being dropped off by their moms.

“Because,” Scott said, stepping forwards, “you will get to make some cool new friends.”

“I will?”

“Yes,” John replied, “and you can play with some neat toys.”

“And when I was here,” Gordon added, “they had some awesome toy dolphins, and a submarine…”

Alan scrunched up his tiny nose.

Gordon grinned. “They also had some cars and toy rockets!”

“Wow!” Alan exclaimed.

“You can also draw and paint,” Virgil informed him.

“Without getting told off for using your paints?”

“As long as you share with your classmates,” Virgil said with a big smile, “then you can use whatever you want… And maybe you could bring me a picture back of your favourite toy?”

Alan nodded enthusiastically, then looked up to his dad. “I’m ready to go now daddy!”

Jeff knelt down so his eyes were level with Alan’s. “Have a brilliant day son.”

Alan beamed, loosened his grip, then immediately ran towards his teacher.

Standing, Jeff reached out and brought his four other boys into a warm hold. Knowing that whenever he was out of his depth then his amazing sons would always have his back.

**

The Beast

It was dark. Only a few rays of sunlight managing to penetrate the lair he had entered. He had been warned on numerous occasions about the beast that inhabited this area and was known to attack when woken, but he had not believed. Yes, he had seen it on many occasions, but all of those times it had been funny, friendly and caring. Surely, just because it was woken early it wouldn't attack. Especially since it was him.

He creeped closer. Currently it was lying on its stomach, eyes were tightly shut, and bizarre noises were emitting from it. Finally, reaching his destination he leant towards it, his hand reaching out, but then a sudden snort from the thing in front of him was released causing him to jump back. Maybe it wasn't best to disturb it? Maybe Gordon was right, and the beast did attack if provoked this early? Although his brother was known to make things up. This probably was just one of his jokes and the usual encounter would be received. He had to be brave and find out the truth. Straightening himself up, he stepped forwards, and placed his hand confidently on the shoulder in front of him…

"Virg…"

No movement, no signs of him waking, so he tried again…

"Virgie?"

This time a groan emitted from his brother, then once again he grew quiet…

"Virgie," he pushed harder on his shoulder, "please wake up."

A yawn, and a pair of bleary eyes opened, grumpy and nothing like the kind-hearted peaceful ones he was used to… He moved backwards… Maybe this was a mistake… But then there eyes met, and a soft gentle smile illuminated the features of his brother.

"Hey Alligator, what's up?"

"Nothing," Alan replied with a little snigger at the nickname.

Virgil regarded the three-year-old in front of him. "Nothing, really?"

"Well, Gordy said you were a beast in the morning, but I didn't believe him, so he said I should come and see for myself."

"Did he indeed?"

Alan nodded his head.

"Well, I'm not a beast."

"Knew it!" Alan cheered happily.

"But," Virgil looked at his clock, "when I am woken this early, I am known to turn into a bear."

Alan gasped in shock.

"And you know what bears do, right?"

Alan scrunched up his little nose and shuck his head…

"Well, they are known to attack."

"Really?"

"Yes, with…" Virgil paused for dramatic effect… "tickles!"

A fit of giggles erupted from Alan when Virgil pounced, flung him over his shoulder, then onto the bed where he began tickling him madly.

**

Baby Talk

"Hi, I'm Scott, I'm four years old, I love aeroplanes and jumping off the couch. Although mummy and daddy tell me off for that one. My best friend became a big brother to a little sister last year, he's really good at it, and I want to be the same. So, I will always cuddle you, care for you, and when you get bigger I will help you to learn all of the things I found hard. I promise that I will be the best big brother you could ask for…" He leaned in and kissed his mother's tummy, feeling a kick back in response… "Love you too!"

[beauvibaby]

single mom – j.benn

a/n: this was a super random idea that just came to me, well really it was the grocery scene but it just clicked so

Your daughter, fast asleep on your lap, her head resting on your chest, you let the tears fall. You shifted her off of you and into her small bed, tucking her in before rushing out of the room, not wanting to wake her with your cries. You left her door cracked open, just how she had insisted she likes it, your mind racing back to the conversation you’d just had with her.

“I want daddy!” Jade shrieked at you, throwing her stuffed animal–from her father when she was first born–down onto the ground in protest. You looked at the three year old in warning, “Jade, honey, it’s time for bed.” You tried to push past the subject, you knew it was the wrong thing to do, but you had a long, exhausting day at work and you didn’t have the patience to have the conversation with her again that her father wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon. He seemingly decided that she was suddenly too much for him, leaving her at your fathers house with a letter for you and then disappearing entirely. You knew, when she was born, it would only be a matter of time until he abandoned her, already blaming you for getting pregnant. “I don’t want you! I want daddy.” She snapped, not only shattering your heart, but also making you grow frustrated. “You don’t say things like that, it’s mean, you hurt my feelings.” You told her as calmly as you could muster, she huffed, but didn’t say anything as you continued pulling out her clothes for school tomorrow. “Mommy, I’m sorry.” She whispered after a moment, clinging to your legs, you nodded down at her, not trusting your voice for a moment.

You trudged to your room, finally being able to remove those constricting work clothes. An office job, which you hated, but it was the only thing that worked with the hours you needed for Jade. You cried yourself to sleep that night.

***

“How much longer mommy?” Jade complained from her spot standing on the side of the cart, “we just need your snacks and then some cereal.” You assured the fussy girl, knowing she hated going grocery shopping with you. “Do you want fruit snacks or–Jade?!” You had only turned for a few seconds, to see what they had on the shelves, but now she was gone. “Jade!” You called, eyes darting around the aisle, you yanked your purse out of the cart, abandoning it in a panic of searching for your daughter. You ran up and down the aisles, trying to figure out where she could have gone. Cereal, the cereal, you turned around and all but ran to the other side of the store, praying and hoping that somehow she had found her way there. Your prayers were answered as you rounded the corner and you saw Jade standing beside a fairly tall man, “Jade!” You gasped, running over to her, yanking her up into your arms quickly. “You can’t do that, you can’t just walk away from me like that!” You rushed, not even noticing the guy standing there holding the exact box of cereal you were going to be buying. “I’m sorry, mommy.” Jade looked at you with wide eyes, never seeing you like this, because she’s never pulled a stunt like this.

“Umm, excuse me?” The man spoke up, making you turn towards him, Jade still being in your arms, “yes?” You answered him, trying to calm your racing heart. “I believe she was looking for this.” He held out the box of cereal, shaking it lightly, Jade smiling at him with her biggest smile. “Mr Jamie got it.” She told you, looking proud of herself for having help in getting the cereal off the top shelf. You let out a soft breathy laugh, “thank you, Uh, Jamie, I guess.” You spoke lightly, “anytime…” he trailed off, not knowing your name. “Y/N.” You called over your shoulder, beginning the trek to where your cart was hopefully still left.

Once you’d gotten back to your cart, you put Jade in it this time, despite her protests, “no, you did the one thing you’re not supposed to do.” You told her, not giving into her pout, she huffed and dramatically crossed her arms, not speaking to you for the remainder of the time in the store. She only spoke when you buckled her into her car seat, before loading the groceries into the trunk. “Can you play frozen?” She asked sleepily, you nodded at her tired face, turning the car on and playing the frozen soundtrack off of your phone, her eyes shutting as she hummed along to let it go, falling asleep nearly instantly. You glanced up at the sound of someone walking past, Jamie, of course, he didn’t notice you as he walked, but that was short lived as he walked up to the truck parked next to your car. You stayed silent, only smiling when you felt him looking over at you, “it’s not really polite to stare you know.” You quipped, shutting your trunk lightly, not wanting to wake Jade. “I wasn’t staring.” He defended, smirking softly, leaning against the side of his truck, his small amount of groceries already packed away. “Mhm, thank you for the cereal by the way, I’m sorry she bothered you.” You responded genuinely, realizing you were too worked up in the store to thank him. “It wasn’t a bother, she’s adorable.” He assured you, smiling as you glanced into the car at her. “She is.” You agreed, finding yourself wishing you had more conversation to have with Jamie.

“Have a nice day, Jamie.” You bid him goodbye, shoving your cart into the designated spot, “you too, Y/N.” He responded, eyes lingering as you got into your car.

***

Jamie watched as Tyler looked at him with a shocked expression, “you met a girl?” Tyler gaped at him, the two of them talking while getting ready for the game, “no, well yes, but no.” Jamie stumbled over his words, not even entirely sure what to say. “It’s a simple question, yes or no?” Tyler smirked, halting his process to give Jamie his full attention. “Ugh, ok I was at the store, and this little girl came up to me, asking if I could get her this cereal, then her mom came running around the corner looking for her.” Jamie explained, “they were both so sweet, and her mom, she was just stunning.” Jamie added, feeling his cheeks turn pink. “Did you get her number?” Tyler asked, as if it was so simple. “No! I don’t know if she’s got a boyfriend or anything, I can’t just assume she’s a single mom.” He rushed, making up excuses, “she was younger than me for sure too.” He added, as if that would be reason enough to not have an interest in you. “Oh come on, who cares if she’s younger, if you see her again, by some miracle, you have to make a move.” Tyler insisted, and they left the conversation at that.

“Dad, are you sure she’s not too young?” You asked for the hundredth time, adjusting your daughters loose jersey, he had become your go to babysitter, and he insisted on taking you and Jade to a hockey game, saying that she would watch them on tv when she was with him. “She’s not too young, she’s going to have a blast!” He laughed at your concern, taking her from you, he had gifted you both with plain, non player jerseys for the team, your father wasn’t loaded by any means, but he had worked hard in his life, and now that your mother had passed and it was just him, he sold the house and got a small condo, using the extra money to buy himself tickets to see his favorite team. “Alright, alright, let’s go.” You gave in, following him into the arena.

The seats were better than you had thought they would be, and you couldn’t deny how it made you a little extra excited. “Go down to the glass, see if you can get her a puck.” Your dad insisted, sending Jade with you, once you reached the boards, you lifted her up to be on your hip, they were doing warm ups, some of the players not bothering with helmets, one in particular caught your eye. He’d skated by so fast, but something about him looked vaguely familiar, you couldn’t place your finger on it, but you pushed it to the back of your mind as you told Jade to wave at them, hoping one of them would be kind enough to send a puck over for her. A few of them went by without even noticing you guys, then the familiar one came to a stop, ice flying up, making Jade giggle, she shocked you by knocking on the glass, causing him to turn around. You went wide eyed, and so did he. You watched as he held up a finger in a hang on motion, Jade laughed, watching him skate quickly across the ice, doing something quickly behind the bench. He rushed back over, making sure to send some ice up again for Jade as she grinned, he pointed to her through the glass and tossed a puck up in the air, you caught it and gave it to her. Then he pointed at you, tossing another puck over, except this one had writing scribbled on it.

“Can I have your number?”

You read it with a blush, looking up to see him shifting his weight back and forth on his skates, you nodded, sending Jade to your dad who was standing in the aisle watching, she rushed over to him, excited to show him the puck. Jamie tossed a silver sharpie over to you, a grin etched onto his face, you motioned to the puck, and he nodded. You wrote the number down, sending the sharpie and then the puck back over for him, giving him a short wave as he skated back to the bench, a few of the guys nudging his shoulders. Your dad was watching skeptically, “I’ve been told that you know, Mr Jamie.” He quoted your daughter, smiling fondly when you turned pink. “We met in the grocery store.” You went on to tell him the story until the game started, all three of you getting sucked in to the sport as it went on.

Once your dad had dropped you and Jade off at your home, you were exhausted, and carrying her up the stairs to your apartment was only more tiring as the elevator was currently out of service. Jade didn’t make a peep as you laid her down in bed, a smile on her sleeping face, you kissed her forehead lightly, “sweet dreams, baby girl.” You whispered.

Your phone vibrated on your nightstand as you got ready for bed, an unknown number on the screen.

“I’m glad Jade liked the puck, you could definitely pay me back by going on a date with me.”

It was a bold move on his part, but you didn’t mind one bit. You read the message three times before coming up with your response,

“Wouldn’t I just owe you more after you pay for me?”

Your smile widened as the three dots came up right away, you couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip in anticipation.

“I have a feeling that time with you will be priceless.”

If you weren’t already daydreaming about him, you definitely would be now.

***

“Are you sure?” You asked your dad for the third time since he got here, Jade happily eating her dinner while you two talked just out of her earshot, “I’m sure, you deserve to go out and have some fun.” He assured you, “she’ll be fine, worse comes to worse, you can say you had dinner with Jamie Benn.” Your dad added, smirking at the end. You lightly whacked his shoulder, “thanks for having faith in my ability to have a good date.” You joked, earning a deep laughter from your dad. “You’ll be fine, honey, now say goodbye to Jade and get going!” He pushed you towards your daughter, smiling as she looked up at you with a messy smile. “Where did you learn to eat?” You teased her, squatting beside her, wiping her face with a napkin, “kiss.” You demanded with a laugh, grinning as she pecked your cheek. “I love you.” You told her, getting a muffled one in response as she continued munching away on her food. “Promise you’ll call me for anything.” You pleaded with your dad as he pushed you out the door, “yes, I promise, have fun.” He shut the door before you could continue, giving you no option but to head out for your date, your nerves growing with every minute closer you got.

“Y/N!” You heard from across the parking lot, your head snapping up as you slid your purse onto your shoulder, “hey, Jamie.” You called as he approached, a smile etched onto his face. “You look great.” He grinned, looking over the dress you’d chosen, a casual dress, nearly maxi length with a light floral print. A Jean jacket over top. “Thank you.” You closed your car door as you spoke, “you look great too.” You complimented him, smiling as he offered his hand as you stepped up the curb. He shot you a toothy smile in response, opening the door to the restaurant, a cliche first date, but the effort he put in was very much appreciated. You couldn’t say in full honesty that you’d ever been taken on such a proper date, Jade’s father had really been your first true relationship, and it wasn’t the best at times. Or ever, really. “Two please.” Jamie spoke to the hostess, you had zoned out slightly, taking in the slightly eclectic look of the restaurant. Jamie pulled your seat out for you, only making you blush more. “Thank you.” You whispered as he took his seat across from you, “of course.” He smiled, picking his menu up, peering over it at you as you both browsed silently. You shifted a little nervously as you looked at some of the prices, Jamie glanced up at you, unsure if he should ask if you were alright. “So, what’s good here?” You asked, breaking the silence, he let out a laugh, setting the menu down. “Can I be honest?” He raised an eyebrow at you, your head falling into a cautious nod, “I’ve never been here before, some of the guys said I should take you here.” He looked a bit pink in his cheeks, you bit your lip to stifle back a laugh, “you know, Jamie, I’m perfectly fine with more of the typical burger and fries type of place.” You giggled, watching his smile falter, before it widened again, “let’s go.” He abruptly stood up, his chair making a noise in the quiet restaurant. He rushed you out the door, laughing the entire time as you looked at him in shock.

“We could’ve eaten here, I wasn’t trying to be–“ “Y/N, just live a little, I’d much rather go get a burger than whatever was on that menu.” He cut you off with a grin, “well,” you paused, fishing your keys out of your purse, “I do know a great little hole in the wall place a few blocks away.” You grinned at him, watching as he matched your look. “Shall we?” “We shall.”

“Thank you, Jamie, I had a great time.” You smiled up at him as you stood between your cars, he reciprocated the gesture, “so did I.” He mumbled, “we should do it again sometime.” He added, watching as you nodded slowly, easing his nerves significantly, “I’d like that, a lot.” You trailed off, meeting his eyes, you could tell that he saw the concern on your face. You hadn’t done this yet, since Jade, and now you weren’t sure how it would work. How long did you date before you introduced him as something other than just Jamie? What if you never made it that far? What– “Can I kiss you?” Jamie interrupted, chuckling when your jaw dropped for a moment, not expecting him to be so abrupt. You barely finished whispering a yes before his lips were on yours, his hands on either side of your face, you melted into them, your hands resting on his sides as you kissed him back. He let out a sigh of content as you pulled away, “yeah, we’re definitely going to have to do this again.” You mumbled, laughing along with him as he was caught off guard by your comment.

***

That was three months ago, somehow the two of you had been making it work in the middle of his busiest time of year, Christmas had just passed, and it was finally time to introduce him to Jade, properly, as your boyfriend, not just as the guy you’d met in the grocery store. “Where are we going?” Jade asked, holding your hand tightly as you walked with her through the tunnels that you quickly learned to maneuver, Jamie having you come to a couple of games so far, and insisting you come down afterwards. “You’ll see.” You assured her with a giggle, she bounced happily beside you, eyes going wide as she saw Jamie leaning against the wall, she’d seen him a couple of times, but totally oblivious to what was happening between the two of you.

“Jamie!” She shrieked, releasing your hand and running over to him, he easily squatted in front of her, smiling as she gave him a little hug. “Hey, Jade.” He murmured, glancing up at you as she began rambling about her day. “I like your shirt.” He told her when she finished, and she looked down to the stars jersey you’d slipped her in to, the same plain one your dad had gotten her, you on the other hand, had on your Benn jersey. Something Jamie had insisted on the second you two decided this was a serious committed relationship. “It’s just like the one you wear!” She told him, as if he didn’t already know. “Wow, that’s crazy.” He gasped, looking at it closely, as if it was new information, she laughed girlishly at him. “Jade?” You questioned, kneeling beside Jamie, suddenly terrified that your three year old would shame your relationship. “Jamie and I are dating, so you know what that means?” You asked her, Jamie glancing between the two of you. Jade tilted her head to the side, “that means you love him.” She answered, as if that was the correct answer, you smiled at your daughter, glancing over to Jamie, you hadn’t said it to him yet, but you were certain that you were in love with him. He stayed silent, but the grin on his face told you everything you needed. “Does that mean we’ll live together? Like you and daddy used too?” Jade gasped, suddenly excited at the idea. This time you were the one who stared and Jamie spoke, easing any nerves you had, “hopefully one day.” He assured her.

Jade was watching a quick video on your phone while you spoke to Jamie before the game, “I think that went well.” He shrugged, not really as concerned as you had been. “It did.” You sighed, hugging him quickly, knowing he had to get going, “Jamie.” You got his attention, cupping his jaw and leaning up to kiss him. “I love you.” You whispered, slowly stepping away from him, “I love you.” He grinned, “gonna play great now that I know that.” He shot you a wink, before going on to score two goals that night, one of them being the game winner.

Taglist: @vinceduhn​ @makarsy​ @kempe​ @literarycharleton​ @josty​ @mrs-ana-wayne​ @kiedhara​

[shinsorokiri]

UA Idol | Chapter Nineteen

Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader

Word Count: 5k+

Warnings: Language, cancer, talking about a past emotionally abusive relationship, mentions of sex, rlly awful older guy doing rlly awful things to a minor, sad Hitoshi Shinsou, mentions of alcohol

A/N: This one is literally the longest chapter I think I’ve written in my life ever. I know it’s still kinda short compared to what other people put out, but I’m really proud of it! Also, it is a little angsty, but I figured adding some background info was a must. I hope y’all enjoy it! Also, yes, I will also be uploading tomorrow as well, so woohoo. This is my Christmas gift to y’all hehe :)

───────────────────────────────────

Much to your disappointment, you eventually had to leave Hitoshi and Denki’s room. It just got “too late.” Of course, you would have loved to stay and just chill with Hitoshi, but Denki and Mina cannot know, and you guess you’ve been around him a bit too long for a friendly situationship. Maybe. You don’t really know what the boundaries for this situationshhip are when it comes to hanging out with each other. Whatever, though, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you need to get all of your preparations for your song all together immediately so you can make it easier for the band and sound and lighting designers. 

So here you are, six in the morning, not sleeping, no, of course not. You’re too busy making a basic beat that you can show the band, sketching out some ideas for a light show, and counting each and every vocal cue that might need to be prerecorded and played. Of course, Mina is unconscious in the bed next to you, but that’s because she’s singing Positions by Ariana Grande, so a backing track will do perfectly, and the minimal dancing she’ll be doing will all be done by her. Besides, the two of you talked about it for a long time about her song and she’ll be one hundred percent fine. You, on the other hand, were just an anxious mess about the entire situation about to go down. Much to your expectations, you got a text notification from none other than Mr. Hitoshi Shinsou. Man doesn’t sleep, and the fact that he got so much sleep earlier today really fucked with him. 

‘what are you doing right now’

‘trying to write down my lighting cues, why?’

‘come to the hotel roof, it’s a lot calmer and peaceful up here’

You can’t help but smile. Leave it to Hitoshi to be up ridiculously early. Then again, it’s not like the two of you really had anything to do tomorrow. Not anything big, anyway. It mainly consists of just telling the band and everyone everything, so going up to the roof wouldn’t be a bad idea. You grab your laptop and a notebook and head on up. Sure enough, Hitoshi is sitting near the edge, mindlessly strumming his guitar, and just gazing off to the ocean. “You should really get some sleep, you know. I mean it’s nearly 6:30 in the morning.” You tease as you sit down next to him. He smirks, shaking his head. “Sorry, I refuse to listen to someone who is also up at this hour by choice. So, politely fuck out of her with that shit.”

You gently push his shoulder with a chuckle before he starts strumming away again. “So, what’s up? Why are you awake at this hour?” he glances over at you and you sigh. “I’m just stressed about everything. I already have gotten super behind on schoolwork because of this and like yeah, technically I could just drop out this semester and go back for next but it’s just… super complicated and if I don’t get through to live shows… what am I gonna do?”

“You’re going to get through, kitten. I know you will. You’re amazing, stop doubting yourself.” 

“You’re just saying that, Toshi.”

“No, I’m not. I’m being 100% serious.” He stops playing his guitar as he looks at you, a dead serious expression on his face. You sigh, shaking your head. “Thanks. I just always assume the worst, I guess.”

“I know you do. But based off of past experiences, it makes sense,” he says, looking away from you and back out at the ocean. You two would probably see the sunrise together. Romantic. You pause for a moment, before speaking again. “I never actually tell you about what happened with me and my ex, did I?”

Hitoshi pauses now. You never did tell him everything, just enough. And he kind of pieced together some things because of the songs you wrote about him, but he would kind of love to know more. Not like love, but he would like to know who the motherfucker who broke your heart was. “No. Just that he was older than you and the absolute worst.”

“Ah, yeah, well, that’s the basics.”

Hitoshi looks at you. “Would you want to tell me?”

You hesitate before nodding your head. “Yeah. Yeah, I would.”

“Then, I’m all ears.”

You nod, looking out at the stars before beginning, “So… when I was seventeen, I met… him. He was much older than me, like our relationship was not legal, which looking back on it now, I’m like, ‘wow (Y/n), you are such a dumbass for that,’ but I was young. I didn’t know that it was bad, so… yeah. But I certainly found out. At first it was great, I had an older boyfriend, I was edgy, everything was amazing. And then… well… I know now that it was gaslighting. Following that was manipulation, there was… a lot of emotional manipulation. For example, you call me kitten, or (Y/n) or my nickname. He would call me dumbass, stupid, loser, bitch, slut, all the bad things. And it wasn’t in an endearing way. It wasn’t like I’d do something stupid and he would laugh and be all, oh you’re such a dumbass. No. It was for everything. He would also treat me like a child. I was young, yeah, but he acted like he was all knowing, and I didn’t have any experiences with anything at all. Which, granted, I had very little experience, but… still. It was demeaning. It made me feel small and worthless, and he’s the worst for it.”

You pause for a moment, glancing over at Hitoshi. You see his eyes fixed on you; jaw clenched. You can tell he’s kind of… pissed at this guy. Which makes sense, I mean the two of you are now romantically involved, so why wouldn’t he hate your ex. It only makes sense. Especially since he was a dumpster fire of a human being. You look down at your lap, continuing on. 

“I fell in love with him, though. That’s why I let it go on for so long because I was like, well, we love each other, so everything will be fine. And that’s partially why I lost my virginity to him. I mean, that was… a whole other ordeal. Once again, I was seventeen, he was very much older, it was just… it was very illegal and bad and well… yeah. And when I was like, ‘oh, but you’re older than me isn’t that bad?’ he was all, ‘age is just a number, baby. We can do whatever you want,’ and my naïve ass fell for it. And from that moment on I thought there had to be something special about me. And well… after almost two years of us being together, I found out he was cheating on me. And it kind of destroyed me in a way. And… yeah. He’s the worst.”

Hitoshi is silent for a moment. Only because he doesn’t trust what might come out of his mouth. This man lied to you, manipulated you, hurt you, cheated on you???? What the actual fuck is wrong with him. Not to mention the whole grooming thing he did to you. What the fuck was that. “Well, I’m just going to let you know this now.”

Hitoshi starts talking but pauses to turn and face you completely. “If I ever meet this guy, I’m beating the shit out of him. Badly. And then I’m going to ruin his life by letting the police know that he coerced a minor into having sex with him. That’s what your whole ass song Seventeen is about, so it’s not like it would be a random story.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right about that, but I think he’s out of my life now. Sometimes he tries to slide back in, but he hasn’t tried for six months now, so yay. All time high record.”

“Next time he contacts you let me know and I will literally send him a video of me like, going down on you or something. I’ll flip him off the whole time.”

You laugh at that but can’t hide the flustered feeling you get from the thought of Hitoshi doing that. You wouldn’t complain if he did do that, though. “My knight in shining armor.”

“You know it,” he says, flashing a smile at you. You roll your eyes, laying down on the ground. He watches you for a bit, just staring at you as your eyes are closed for a while. “But in all seriousness. I’m really sorry that happened to you. He’s definitely the worst and you did not deserve to go through that. I’m sorry you did.”

“It’s… well, it isn’t really okay, but that’s okay. It’s okay for something to not be okay, you know?”

“I know… I definitely know that. And I’m really sorry that asshole completely ruined an emotion like love for you. You deserve so much better.” You open your eyes at that, giving him a sad smile. “Maybe I’ll get over it someday. But yeah. I wish he didn’t do that, but he really did. I guess I’m just afraid of getting hurt again.”

“I understand completely,” Hitoshi nods, staring back out at the stars meeting the ocean. Suddenly his phone buzzes, causing him to look down at it. “Oh, yeah. It’s like 10:45 over in Japan right now,” he mumbles, unlocking his phone to message his mom back. “Oh? I didn’t realize you were so popular that even in a different country your phone would be blowing up,” you tease him, and he chuckles before giving you the middle finger. “I’m not, my mom is just worried I’ll get alcohol poisoning and die here.”

“Don’t tell her about last night, she’ll shriek.”

He smiles, knowing that she definitely would. That’s when he realizes he’s never really told you about his mom. And that’s just not fair since you basically just poured your heart out to him about your shitty ex. Time to let you know. “She definitely would, and then the nurses would grill me out next time I went to see her.”

“Nurses?”

“Oh, yeah. I never told you, did I? My mom basically lives in the hospital at this point. I mean, not really, but she has to be there a lot for the chemotherapy treatments. She was always a sickly woman, but six months ago she was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. And, well, they gave her at least three years.” Hitoshi pauses for a moment. The news still makes him emotional, so he’s fighting back the emotions surfacing in him right now. Or at least he’s trying to, but you make it really hard. Especially since you’re immediately wrapped around him. He lets out a shaky sigh before giving you a teary smile. “It’s not okay, but it’s okay for it to not be okay. My dad passed away when I was seven because of an accident on the job, so my mom raised me. Even when I made it nearly impossible, she was always there. So, yeah. It’s… it’s hard. It was hard losing someone I loved when I was a kid, and it hasn’t gotten any easier.”

You don’t say anything at first, just gently push his head into your shoulder. You gently rub his back as you two sit in silence. You know that he’s crying silently, so you just stay there before you break the silence. “I’m here for you, Hitoshi. You can always talk to me about everything going on.”

He nods, setting his guitar to the side, and fully wrapping his arms around you. You run your fingers through his hair to try and help him out. You’ve had a shitty relationship, but that can never compare to Hitoshi’s situation. You could never imagine losing people you loved. At this point, it seems like that emotion just does more harm than good for everyone. No wonder the two of you never want to deal with it again. You’re afraid of getting hurt by someone you love again, and Hitoshi is afraid he’ll lose someone he loves since it seems to keep happening. 

The two of you stayed like that for quite some time, until you noticed the sky beginning to lighten up. “Toshi, look. The sun is rising.”

He pulls himself out of your arms but makes sure to keep one of his around you as he pulls you closer to him. You lay your head on his shoulder and he lays his head on top of yours as the two of you watch the sun rise over Los Angeles. You never thought you would ever see this sight, but it’s certainly beautiful. “(Y/n?)”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For listening. And for comforting me. I haven’t really been able to talk about it with anyone.”

“What about Denki?” you ask, shifting your head and looking up at him. He lets out a chuckle. “I’ve talked about it with him, yeah, but I don’t know. It’s nice having a change of pace and being able to talk to someone else about it, y’know?”

“Yeah, I know. The only person I ever talked to about my guy problems is Mina, so it was really nice talking to you about this stuff.”

He grins. Even though he just reminded himself of the fact that his mother is sick, just the mere fact that you were there with him was enough to make him feel a little bit happier. “What do you say we go to bed now? It’s seven in the morning and we have work to do tomorrow,” he mumbles, and you nod. You would be lying if you said you weren’t tired. Hitoshi stands, extending his hand to you which you happily take. “Too bad we can’t sleep in the same bed again. Mina and Denki will definitely know something is up,” you say with a sigh as you gather up the things you brought to the roof. All of it went untouched, but maybe that was for the better. You were stressing out too hard and your notes probably weren’t even comprehensive. He grabs his guitar and frowns. “Yeah. That really sucks, I like having you with me while I sleep.”

“And I like having you with me,” you say, opening the door that took the two of you to the roof. You both walk silently to his room first since it’s on a higher floor, and he quickly gives you a peck on the lips as a goodnight… er, good morning? Doesn’t matter, he disappeared into his room as quickly as he did it, just leaving you grinning in front of his door like an idiot. 

You quietly walk into your room, being extra careful to not wake Mina even though she wouldn’t wake up if you screamed directly in her ear. You settle into bed, hugging a pillow close to your body and pretending it’s Hitoshi. It does help that your pillow still smelled like him from the night before, too. Lavender and Eucalyptus. Not a scent you ever expected to find extreme comfort in, but here you were. 

Waking up was confusing, since you literally had no idea when you even fell asleep. You wake up around 10:30, exhaustion immediately making itself felt. “You didn’t sleep because you were stressed last night, huh?” Mina asks, sitting on her bed with her headphones on. You shake your head no, letting out a big yawn as you do. Mina sighs, shaking her head before shutting her laptop. “Do you need to sleep in more? I can call Denki and we can go give our information to the band and designers if you would want to sleep in.”

“No, I need to get my information to them earlier rather than later,” you mumble, pulling yourself out of bed and going over to get clothes on for the day. “Whatever you say, but I’m definitely not coming back to the room afterwards and I’m definitely forcing Denki to go to the beach with me because I don’t really want to go alone and I know he’s weak and would never be able to turn me down, so knock yourself out when I’m gone. Literally. Please.”

You laugh at that but nod regardless. That would be very nice, being able to just take a nap while she was off sitting in sand and staring at scantily clad women on the beach. But before you can look forward to that, you need to go tell the band and designers what you need for soundcheck tomorrow and then for the actual performance. You grab your laptop and shove it in a backpack as well as your various notes and look at Mina. “Are you coming too?”

“Oh, definitely. Of course.”

“Great. Is Denki coming?”

“He and Shinsou are already there, actually. Guaranteed it’s because Shinsou dragged his ass there before he had.a chance to protest, but we gotta go.”

You both leave your room, Mina calling an Uber as you make sure you have everything to make this exchange as easy as possible for all parties. “Okay, (Y/n), but seriously. What is up with you and Shinsou? Like, you don’t just fall asleep with someone while drunk, you know that, right?” she asks as the two of you wait outside for your ride. You roll your eyes. “Yes, you do. Especially if y’all are very close friends who happen to both be tired as hell and drunk as hell at the same time.”

“Oh, please. He was literally doting on you the entire time we were at the club. He definitely wants something more with you.”

“No, he really doesn’t. We already talked about all of… that stuff after you and Denki left the room and we thought we were dying. We were just drunk, and he wasn’t doting he was just making sure his friend was okay getting drunk in a new city in a new country.”

Mina narrows her eye at you from suspicion but decides that the story checks out and lets out a dramatic sigh. “I just want you to find someone, you know? I feel like it would help you with everything going on in your life.” “I don’t need someone else to be doing well, Mina. Believe me, I’m just fine on my own.”

“I know, I know. But still. It wouldn’t hurt to see you happy in a relationship.” 

Your Uber arrives and the two of you hop in. You stare out of the window, trying your hardest not to fall asleep in this car as Mina chats the driver’s ear off. Luckily the drive isn’t too long, and you both head inside the theater you’ll be performing at. You walk over to the band, showing them everything you need. You even give examples of what you’re looking for, playing the guitar to get them familiar with it, the piano, bass, drums, all of it. And they are very grateful for it, because they have a shit ton of other contestants that they have to do this for, and not all of them are as nice or ready as you are. You thank them before going over to the designers and showing them the idea you had come up with for the performance. You let the sound designer know that your friends would be singing back-up and how you would like their microphones to sound throughout the performance, and then you move on to telling the lighting designer what you think would look cool. You spend at least twenty-five minutes just talking with them and bouncing ideas back and forth until you all settle on a light show and sound. You thank them again, and then turn to go back to the lobby. 

You find Mina outside talking with Denki and Hitoshi, and as soon as she sees you, she waves you over. You walk over to them, giving Hitoshi and Denki a small wave. You were even more tired now than when you woke up, so talking exudes too much energy that you really need to save. “I told you she didn’t sleep at all. She’s definitely not going to the beach with us,” Mina says to Denki, her tone dripping with an ‘I-told-you-so’ attitude. Denki groans. “But we never get to do anything fun with (Y/n)! Not since the club.” “Are you saying hanging out in your room all together last night wasn’t fun?” Mina challenges and Denki goes silent. “Oh, yeah, I guess it was.”

“Listen, Denki, I think you should just let (Y/n) go home and take a nap. She obviously needs it,” Hitoshi cuts in, masking the concern he’s feeling for you with a dry tone and no expression. “I know, I know. Go back to the hotel and take a fat nap, (Y/n/n). I wanna hang out with you later today, alright?” You nod, getting your phone out to call an Uber back to the hotel. “I already called one, (Y/n/n), you can just ride with me,” Hitoshi says, and you nod. “Aw seriously? You’re not coming either?”

“Denki, I also did not get any sleep last night because I have insomnia, I would also like to just relax for a bit.”

“Okay, fair. But I mean it! We’re all hanging out later!” “Okay, but no drinking. I mean it. We have soundcheck tomorrow.”

“Fine.”

And with that, the Uber arrives and you and Hitoshi pile in. “We are going straight to my room and passing the fuck out because I had a horrible time trying to sleep without you last night, alright?” Hitoshi literally pouts, causing you to laugh. “Okay, okay, calm down. I’ll stop in my room to change into something more comfortable and then-”

“Nope. You’ll wear one of my shirts and a pair of sweatpants that I own, and we will go to sleep as soon as possible. We’re going straight to my room though, because if Denki and Mina burst into any room it’ll be yours.” “Fair point. Okay.”

“Good.”

He wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer to him as your Uber driver winds through traffic. You arrive at the hotel pretty quickly, and you both head on up to his room. He throws some clothes at you and you go in his bathroom to change before coming out and curling up under his covers and into his arms. He pulls you closer to him and pretends like he wasn’t just affected by seeing you in his clothes, but boy oh boy he was. He would like to see you like that more often, to be honest. But he probably wouldn’t, and he knew that, he just kind of really hoped he would. “G’night, Toshi,” you mumble, falling asleep immediately. He chuckles silently, carefully and gently tracing patterns on your back. He got very lucky, and he knows it. Even if you two aren’t dating, he has a cuddle buddy and a music buddy and a kissing buddy who he really really likes. And not like in just a romantic way because he definitely does and he’s doing his best to make sure that feeling doesn’t turn into… something more, but also like in just the fact that you allow him to be himself. It’s amazing, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world. He falls asleep fairly quickly, too, and you two take a cute little four-hour nap. 

You wake up at two in the afternoon to see Hitoshi already awake and staring at you. “Good morning, kitten,” he says, his ‘I just woke up’ voice very much evident. “Morning,” you mumble, burying your head back into his chest. You feel the vibrations of his laughter in his chest, and grin. “When do you want to actually get up?” he asks, going back to rubbing your back. You shrug. “Probably soon. It is the afternoon, so.”

“Yeah. You’re right there. Do you maybe want to go meet up with Denki and Mina? Go grab some lunch and stuff?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not.”

The two of you get up, Hitoshi changes while you stretch out a bit then you head down to your room so you can actually appear presentable as well. You throw Hitoshi’s clothes in your suitcase, saying you’ll give them back to him later but honestly? You had no desire to give them back. They were too comfortable, and they smelled too much like him. They belonged to you now. He had a hunch that was what you were doing, but he honestly didn’t mind. He brought more casual shirts and sweatpants with him on this trip anyways, you could keep them if you wanted to. And you wanted to. And he lowkey wanted you to, too. You text Mina, asking where they are, and she answers right away. “Looks like they’re at some beachside restaurant, let’s go,” you say, calling an Uber yet again to get to the restaurant. 

When you arrive, Mina and Denki are already a few drinks in, so they were far too excited to see the two of you. Luckily, there were sober people there to make sure they don’t try to annoy the two of you into drinking. Kirshima, Bakugou, Jirou, and Momo are all there, too. Four new people are there as well, the boy with the messy green hair, the really cute brunette girl, the guy who looks like and definitely is a stoner, and the edgy guy whose hair is dyed half white and half red. You two are introduced and you learn that their names are Izuku Midoriya, Uchako Uraraka, Hanta Sero, and Shouto Todoroki. You learn that Sero and Kirishima became friends after getting stuck in the elevator together. You also learn that Uraraka is friends with Jirou and Midoriya and that’s how he and Todoroki ended up coming. Another thing you learn very fast is that Midoriya and Todoroki have fat crushes on each other, but apparently, they aren’t dating yet. It’s kind of cute watching how flustered they get with each other, honestly. You end up hanging out with all of them for the rest of the day, occasionally getting filmed by a UA Idol camera crew going around to catch what the contestants are doing on their days off. It was actually really fun. You got to know these new people and you really liked them, they were super cool. And it was a nice way to destress. 

You never expected to make so many new friends, all from different places. This competition is giving more opportunities and friendships to you than you expected it to, but hey. You were NOT complaining about it. It was also funny to see the different dynamics everyone brought to this little hang out. Bakugou would call everyone and extra or a dumbass, but when it came to Kiri he was softer and somehow gentle with him. It was hilarious to hear him call Midoriya a piece of shit waste of space and then immediately go mom mode because Kirishima said something he ate made him feel a little bad. And then Midoriya was equally as hilarious. He was this cute little positive boy covered with freckles and smiles, but the minute that Bakugou would be rude he would somehow insult him on his biggest insecurities without batting an eye. You don’t know how he did it, but if it weren’t for Kirishima and Todoroki you’re pretty sure they would have gotten into a fist fight. Uraraka was very similar to Midoriya in that regard, whereas Todoroki was very bad at picking up social cues and kept a cool and calm demeanor through anything. Of course, Jirou and Denki were flirting the whole time, but the way she flirts is by being mean, which Denki lowkey loves. And Momo and Mina are getting along very well, they’re kind of exact opposites which makes them work nearly perfectly. 

Just hanging out with them was ridiculously fun, and you really hoped that this wouldn’t be the last time. Based off of all of their performances that you had seen, they all would be able to get through to live shows. You just wondered if you would be able to pull of getting to the live shows. Luckily for you, every time you got lost in thought, Hitoshi would subtly squeeze your hand to pull you back into reality. At this point, you don’t know what you would do without him. And that scares you too. Not because of the growing feelings you have for him, because they aren’t there, duh, but because if he makes it through and you didn’t, you would have to go back to Japan without him. And that’s the worst thought because you know he’ll make it. And you know Mina and Denki will too. You’d like to believe you will, but will you really? Your phone suddenly buzzes, and you look at it to see a text from… Hitoshi?

‘kitten, the anxiety is radiating off of your body. just relax, okay? i know you’re nervous but everything will be okay, i promise. besides, everyone at this table is here for you and feeling the same nerves you are. for now, just try to relax and enjoy this time. oh, and i’m also buying your food. sorry not sorry’

You grin a bit, especially since immediately after you read it you feel your other hand get squeezed in reassurance. He really knew how to make you feel better. And even going into the next day, he was constantly reassuring and helping you. And you were doing the same for him. Soundchecks were now going on, and while you were nervous, you weren’t as nervous anymore. You had watched Mina go already, as well as Denki, Kiri, Bakugou, and Uraraka. Now, it was Hitoshi’s turn, which meant you were up there, singing harmonies with him. His soundcheck went really well, they set everything for him, and he was good to go after two runs of his song. Then you were up. Now don’t get it wrong, even though you were less nervous doesn’t mean you weren’t nervous at all. Quite the opposite, actually. You were still worried things would go wrong, but you know that if that’s a thing then it’ll get fixed. You just really care and want everything to be okay. And it was! Soundcheck went really well, the lighting show was great, your microphone was adjusted, the band knew exactly what to do, you knew exactly what to do everything went perfect! And you were very happy about it. 

“I told you everything would be fine,” Hitoshi says to you after your soundcheck is over. You roll your eyes and stick your tongue out at him. “I can’t control my nerves sir.”

“I know, but I still told you everything would be fine. Do what you did today tomorrow, and you’re guaranteed a spot in the live shows.”

“Well, thank you, but you do know that same statement applies to you, too, right?”

“Mmmm, no I could have done better.”

“Hitoshi Shinsou, I swear to GOD.”

He laughs at your tone and the look on your face, putting his hands up in defeat. While the two of you were talking, Midoriya leaned over to Mina and asked the golden question that everyone wanted to know. “So, are they a thing?” “I wish I knew Midoriya,” she whispers, and Denki joins in. “They won’t let up on the idea that love is bullshit, so here they are, dating without actually dating and ignoring any and all assistance we try to give them.”

“Huh… is this what Todoroki and I are like?”

“Yes.” This time Uraraka butts in, sending Midoriya a glare. He instantly turns bright red, causing Denki to bite back a laugh. “Just ask him out, bro. You know he’ll say yes,” Denki says, patting him on the back. “Yeah! And that way, the three of you can join the groupchat we have devoted to spying on them and plotting to get them in a relationship!” Uraraka snaps her head towards Mina so fast that she probably should have gotten whiplash from it or something. “That’s a thing?”

“Yeah.”

“Why am I not in it yet?”

And that’s how Uraraka got in the group. But not Midoriya. He only got in after he asked Todoroki to be his boyfriend. Now there were two secret operations going on, and both parties were literally completely oblivious to everything going on between each other. Funny how that works. 

For you and Hitoshi though, the focus was mainly on the competition. The final round of Hell Week was tomorrow, after all. No matter what happened, your lives were definitely about to change.

[popculturebuffet]

Paul Dini’s Jingle Belle: The Mighty Elves (Comissoned by WeirdKev27)

Well well boys, we’re back to Jingle Belle with another kevmission, though per his request i’ll be getting back to Life and Times Of Scrooge McDuck at long last. I also have some other stuff planned and all that, but for now, let’s focus on everyones faviorite elfen hellion as we dive back into Paul Dini’s Jingle Belle. 

I covered most of the behind the scene’s stuff last time so in short in case your just joining us, since this one’s got a bit more stuff to tag: Jingle Belle is an indie comic book character created by animation god Paul Dini, the daughter of Santa Claus and the Queen of Elves who acts like a standard rebellious teenager sterotype and causes trouble for her dad.  Last time I touched on the character a good two days ago, we looked at her first appearance, where she sent her family to Family Therapy. At the time I’d ONLY read that story, and hadn’t gotten that far into Jing’s world just yet. As you probably guessed despite plugging a decent amount of time into re-reading the rest of Scott Pilgrim (shout out to my good friend Mike for the early christmas present), on digital and in color and into the Switch port of the first Fire Emblem, I still got 2/3 of the way through the omnibus Kev gifted me of almost all her stories up to 2018′s The Handmade’s Tale.  Honestly not a lot has changed from the pilot.. while Jing’s designs changed a bit, she’s still more of a rebellious hellion, and while Santa’s no longer a slut shaming jackass, he’s still hard on her while her mom tries to keep the peace, The humor’s still edgy, if toned down enough to support returning whenever Dini felt like it but it’s largely the same for better or worse.  Overall the stories haven’t been bad but have been a bit reptitive to read in one giant omnibus. This really is down to the format they were made in: These were one off stories spread months apart meant to be picked up off the shelf with no real ongoing stories or character development and only some slight worldbuilding here and there. In short not bad stuff, just clearly not built to be collected in a huge omnibus like it was and not the first comic collection i’ve encountered with this problem and definitely not the last. 

That being said the stories are creative and still well put together. It is Paul Dini and he has wrote pretty much every story collected here with few exceptions, so it’s still good stuff, just as I said clearly not meant to be read all in one block like i’ve been doing. And today’s story happens to be one of my faviorites so far, breaking the formula up a bit by having Jing do something a bit diffrent and also involving hockey, a sport this story made me realized might actually intrest me on some level.. if in part due to letterkenny. 

God bless those two handsome idiots. So let’s ice up or skates, get those letterkenny refrences at the ready and see what the Mighty Elves have to offer. 

We start at Hockey Practice for Santa’s Hockey Team, The Elves, the kind of sentence that makes me really happy to type for money. Santa’s team is naturally for this kind of story and what the title references, are the last place in the bi-polar hockey league their in.. presumably ran by commissioner bi-polar bear. 

Again, I really love this job and that i’m actually getting paid for this this go round. Anyway, Santa’s team isn’t all that agressive because.. well i’ts a team coached by Santa, why would they be? But Santa’s still proud of his boys... as for his girl on the otherhand he gets a call and we soon find out via mugshots Jing dragged her two friends, up from just one in previous stories, to an air force base, somehow got arrested for hitting on enlisted men, not a crime, and stealing and crashing a helicopter, very much a crime.  Naturally Santa isn’t pleased, so we cut to a few days later where he’s letting her friends off making robo kitties, damn I want one of those now, while leaving Jing to do the packaging, though like most stern but fair dad’s he admits he dosen’t like punishing her and is right in saying there’s more to do with her summer vacation than you know, piss off the military. Santa needs his flight clerance dammit. Jing complains there isn’t much to do but feed the reindeer and make toys to which I say.. really santa? You haven’t set up anything else for your eleves to do? Making toys is their job. Build a fucking movie theater. And at the very least if not for them than for your bored and rebellious daughter to distract her from doing crimes. She’s still likely got a few hundred years of teenagering left, give her something else to do other than piss you off.  Santa does have a least a little something: Hockey! Which Jing’s cousin Rusty has taken up. Rusty showed up in the first story but I kind of glossed over him, he’s basically Jing’s Dorky cousin she frequently abuses. Not really much more or less to him. Jing isn’t on board mostly because their team always looses, to the other teams: The Penguins, the Polar Bears, The Snow Leopards and the Eskimos because they don’t really have killer instinct, which yeah is kind of necessary for hockey. To her..

But during her rant she does show Santa she’s got genuine talent for the sport, so he makes her a deal: Do a little favor for him, and she’ll swap that for making toys.. it’s a deal.. one she soon regrets but hey. 

Jing naturally makes an ass of herself pretty quickly beating the shit out of Rusty with her dad repremanding her and threatning to throw her off the team if she has another outburst like. That is until she runs into the Huskies Coach, Stan. 

I mean i’ts a hairy old man who makes a side bet with Santa Claus despite it technically being against commission rules, might as well be. So Santa tells Jing screw it, as long as it’s the opposing team violence is a-okay.  And naturally our first target is the world famous hockey player, aka snoopy aka a snoopy stand in. And being a big fan of peanuts i’m a sucker for a good peantus parody. Doubly so since Dini did his homework, and as I’d remembered and a quick google confirmed “The World Famous Hockey Player” was indeed one of snoopy’s many personas.

 Not that it was much of a stretch: just about any time snoopy played a sport he was “the world famous X player��, but still it’s a nice little nod. Not so nice is Jing within seconds slamming him into the air and under a Zamboni and getting sent to the box for it naturally. So clearly she’s the shorsey of this team, all chirps and ultra violence. 

Snoopy is thankfully still alive, if barely, though he’s off course been through much worse.

But while in the Box jing helps advise the team and a presumed combination of her beating the shit out of the other team’s best players and her team now not only having something to inspire them but a strategy means the Elves win for once! Santa and Jing share a hug, though Santa advises her not to go for his wallet, it’s still a sweet moment as she’s genuinely invested now.  So we cut to..

Okay Hank Ribbon seal is genuinely one of the best things humanity has made but as for Quiki I just... wow that joke is mildly racist at worst, confusing and unfunny at best. I mean... it really just makes no sense on any level and that’s with me not knowing a lot about hockey, but knowing just enough to know Kathy Lee Gifford existed. Just.. what even was that? I know Paul can do better than this.. because as my first review outlined he wrote a LOTTTT of Tiny Tune Adventures including my favorite episode. He also wrote most of the best Joker episodes for BTAS, so it’s not like the guy CAN’T be funny.. so I have no idea how he could fail so hard with this. Just.. what is this. Who thought this was funny? what was the joke? 

That.. utter bafflement aside, this newscast is used to push things ahead as the elves are on a winning streak, having also beaten the Polar Bears and the Penguins.. though weirdly we DON’T get a cameo by this guy despite having already had Snoopy show up. 

That’s my boy. But yeah there’s only two teams left with this, the Eskimos and tonight’s matchup the Snow Leopards, aka snow catgirls lead by Tashi Ounce, who Jing met at the winter games last year and lost too and thus has a whole rivlary thing going. In a really nice moment Santa stops to make sure Jing is okay going into the game. 

It’s part of why I REALLY like this story: Santa instead of just being disapointed in his daughter genuinely bonds over her over something and Jing shows she has a softer side to her. It’s some good character stuff, helps shake up the normal formula nicely. Back to the usual though she and Tashi naturally go at it, phrasing, and fight the whole damn time, with Belle eventually scoring the winning goal. Though noticably while Tashi is just as competiive as belle and lost this time.. she’s fine with it, knowing she’ll win next time and congradulating the opponent.  But before she can leave the rink, Tashi is approached by a mysterious figure with an offer and we cut to said figure’s lair... it’s THE BLIZZARD WIZARD! dun dun dun!.... yeah I haven’t introduced him the Blizzard Wizard is.. well exactly what he sounds like, as well as the former ruler of the North Pole. He enslaved everyone there to do his bidding and was essentially, a butt till Santa showed up, united all the various animals and kicked his ass. Since then he’s been reduced to basically a rankin bass villian, lurking near bye and scheming to get petty revenge on Santa for it. So essentially....

Minus the tragic backstory. He offers them a deal: The championship cup for him defeating the elves. As he puts it the cup symbolizes hard work, respect and team work.. i.e the things their throwing out to get payback. Tashi wants none of it, but the blizzard wizard has his slush minons capture her and with the rest willing to sell out, he gets to work. 

Bliz snows out the eskimos, and brings up accusations of Santa gambling, which he gets away from by.. having his wife donate the money real quick don’t ask just go. But he has a waiver signed by the other coaches so their playing his goons. But Jing isn’t phased and Santa asks her to give the lockeroom some inspiring words. 

10/10 no notes. But naturally Bliz has a sneaky trick up his sleeves.. to win.. specifically a hot french canadian player which.. makes jing fall to pieces flirting with him and makes her entirely ineffective. Okay time out.... huh so this is the timeless void known only to zack morris, that girl from the reboot I haven’t watched, and Regis Filbin. But yeah while I wouldn’t expect Jing to slaughter the guy it feels out of character for all she’d do is to giggle like an idiot instead of making a move. She’s been established as forward and knowing what she wants. I’m not against her being distracted by this it’s just the how that feels off especially since the opening reinforces this. She hit on air force guys. She’s not going to just be giggly and awkward. Jing may not be the most complex charcter but she’s better than this. Aside from the baffling Kathy Lee Gifford gag, this is the only thing I really don’t like abotu the story, and it lasts two pages before it’s resolved and in a 22 or so page story, that’s a good chunk of it spent on something that isn’t funny and that’s out of character even within story. That being said it dosen’t drag the story down entirely, still a good story. Just a bit uneven is all. 

But unsurprisingly Tashi escapes her earlier imprisonment offscreen to let Jing know not only the full extent of Bliz Whiz’s machenations, i.e. that the other coaches are in on it, but that the hockey player is really just one of Bliz’s minons uner a glamour. WIth that knowledge Jing asks why she’d help and Tashi shows her inner honor beneath the whole rival deal, pointing out she wants to win from a GOOD team next year. With the jig up Jing pulvirzes her former crush, claims to have been under a spell (no one byes it) and the elves clean house and win. Super fuckin shooter. As for Bliz Whiz he tries to steal the trophy but instead gets booted into the snow leopards box, phrasing... it doesn’t end well for him. 

And yeah while he comes back eventually, some how, apparently, for most of the stories after this he’s just.. dead. He was killed and then his remains eaten. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

But Jing admits she had fun, she and her dad bond and we get one last gag as he assumes she learned not to showboat only for her to block everyone else in the team photo. Falalallal we’re out. 

Final Thoughts: As I said, one of my faviorites. It’s really well paced, has a good premise and only one part drags at all and only that part and one gag really don’t land. The rest of it is really funny, nice and touching, and overall a nice shakeup from these stories usual pattern of “Jing getting into hyjinks”. While she DOES here, her and her dad are literally and figuartvely on the same team, and she does show a sweeter side genuinely bonding with her dad and it’s nice to see them actually enjoy each other’s company for once. It’s a nice change of pace and one I wish more of the stories had. I’m not saying they all have to be holly jolly but i’d be nice if more of them had a bit of heart to them is all. Tis the season and all that. Still for what it is, it’s a fun ride and I highly recommend it. We’ll probably see her again sometime this season but that’s a bit off.  For now coming up I have some ducktales to tell, a chapter in a man’s life story that’s long overdue, a holiday mess I wish I didn’t have to clean up, and in the distant future.. an old friend to reconnect with. Until then if you liked this review reblog it, comment etc all that good stuff, and you can send me asks with suggestions fo ra review or direct message me, or ask for my discord, to comission a review yourself. Until then, happy holidays. 

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 53

Oy, finally I get around to posting this chapter on here. I feel like this one sucked my life essence away from me, but oh well it still has some really good moments to it so I digress. Either way, hope ya enjoy this massive nerd fest, filled with references to things I don’t understand as well as jokes making fun of all of us for reading/writing UF. Have fun!

Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/173944483439/universe-falls-chapter-51

Chapter 53: Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons

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Though several days had passed since the portal’s opening had effectively raised the Mystery Shack and damaged it’s interior and exterior immensely, the tourist trap was still closed for repairs that were at last nearing their completion. Even so, its continued closure gave the Pines family a good enough excuse to take a day off and spend it however they pleased, which meant that it was being used for some proper rest and relaxation. Things that were more than welcome after the upheaval and drama of the past few days alone.

So Stan, Mabel, and Dipper had taken to hanging around the otherwise unoccupied gift shop, knowing that no business would be coming through it. While Dipper intently read journal 2 and Stan broadly leafed through the newspaper, Mabel lay sprawled on the floor, an empty bag of cheesy snacks by her side and the orange dust of their remains smeared across her face.

“I just ate an entire bag of Cheese Boodles without using my hands!” she announced with a wide, contented grin. “Lazy Tuesday, you are delivering in a big way! Almost makes me forget about all that crazy drama with the portal, and the Gems memories, and Sardonyx, and-” Mabel stopped short as she briefly glanced over at Dipper, who peered over the top of the journal to give her a staunch look of disapproval for even bringing such tension-ridden matters at all. Fortunately enough though, Stan didn’t bother to comment on any of them, despite the look of concern that briefly flashed across his face before he spoke up.

“Heh, yeah,” the conman reclined back in his seat with a casual enough smile. “Its nice to finally have a day where nothing interesting happens whatsoever.”

Of course, no sooner had Stan said this than the vending machine door leading to the portal room in the basement suddenly burst open. Ford boldly stepped out of it amidst the smoke pouring out around him, his manner fierce and resilient as he tried to subdue the small, strange, octopus like creature entangled around his wrist.

“Get down!” the author ordered above the startled gasps of his family members, especially as the creature launched itself off his arm. “Don’t let it taste human flesh!”

The kids were quick to comply, narrowly dodging the bizarre creature as it scurried around the gift shop frantically, angrily hissing all the while. “W-what is it?” Dipper asked as he climbed onto a chair, both alarmed and curious by such a strange sight.

“Can we keep it?” Mabel asked with a genuinely fascinated grin.

“Kill it! Kill it!” Stan shouted, swatting the monster with his newspaper as it skittered past him.

Ford paid none of them much mind as he deftly pursued the creature, electricity sparking from the futuristic gauntlet on his right hand as he finally managed to corner the beast. “Patience… and…” the author muttered, his movements slow and calculated as he made his approach on the still-growling monster. When it finally seemed like the monster was about to make a move, however, Ford countered it first, pouncing at the beast and easily shocking it into submission using his gauntlet. “Gotcha!” he proclaimed with a triumphant grin as he held the monster’s limp, tentacled form up for the others to see. “Haha! Now that I’m back in this dimension, I’ll have to thank Garnet for inspiring the design of the design of my electro-gauntlet. It works even better than I expected it to!”

“Great, now get that thing outta here,” Stan remarked with an impatient scowl as Ford passed him. “It smells like if death could barf.”

“Wait! Great Uncle Ford!” Dipper hurried up to the author with an eager smile, still holding onto journal 2. “Do you need any help with that? I’ve read all about these creatures in your journal and I think I know how to-”

“No!” Ford quickly interupted, his manner firm but fair as he addressed his nephew. “I’m sorry, Dipper, but the weird, dark road I travel, I’m afraid you cannot follow.” A beat of stark, rather ominous silence followed this, though the author was quick to break it a moment later with an upbeat smile as he retreated back into the basement. “Well, call me for dinner!”

“Oh, maybe next time then?” Dipper offered, though his smile quickly faltered as the vending machine closed up once more, Ford disappearing behind it. “O-or not. Or never…”

“Aw, Dipper, don’t take it so hard,” Mabel attempted to comfort her brother by placing a hand on his shoulder, only for Stan to callously interject.

“No, do take it hard!” the conman snapped coldly. “Take it hard and serious. My brother is a dangerous know-it-all, and the stuff he’s messing with is even worse. I’ve been pretty lenient about letting you kids hang around the Gems all summer, but Ford is where I draw the line. Do yourself a favor and stay away from him, ya hear me?”

“But Grunkle Stan,” Dipper protested intently, not about to let himself be deterred from asking Ford his abundance of accumulating questions any longer. “All summer long I’ve wanted to know who the author of the journals was. Now the guy lives in our basement and I can’t even talk to him. How is that fair?”

“Life’s not fair, kid,” Stan remarked, rolling his eyes. “Don’t worry about what’s in the basement. I’d say you saw more than enough of it the other day… A-anyway, you belong up here with me and Mabel.”

“Yeah! Besides, this Friday is the epic made-for-TV movie crossover event of the century,” Mabel smiled brightly as she held up the TV guide ad for said crossover. “Dogcopter Meets Ducktective! Steven’s coming over to watch it with us, we’re all gonna wear our official Dogcopter propeller hats, its gonna be great! It’ll be all the mystery and adventure you’ll need this week!”

“You bet it will be!” Stan remarked, just as eager for the special as his niece was. “For years we’ve been wanting to see that duck and that dog cross paths and now our dreams are finally about to come true! It better live up to our expectations or else I’ll… I, uh… huh. What do kids nowadays do when they wanna complain about something?”

“Usually they just do it online and make long whiny posts about how things didn’t turn out the way they wanted to and why the writers are wrong for not doing things their way,” Mabel noted with a shrug.

“Really? Geez, how pathetic.”

As Stan and Mabel continued commiserating over their excitement about the upcoming crossover, Dipper had all but checked out of the conversation entirely in favor of turning his attention back towards the vending machine. Unknown, but intriguing light sparked through the cracks behind it, no doubt part of whatever mysterious invention or project Ford was likely working on down in the basement below. Whatever was going on on the other side of that door, Dipper couldn’t help but want to be a part of it, or at the very least finally get the chance to finally ask Ford the questions he had been asking all summer. To finally be on the same level with someone who understood just how important and vital it was to ask those questions in the first place. To finally have the opportunity to get perspective on the elusive and exciting mysteries of Gravity Falls from someone who had spent years studying them firsthand and was enthralled by their bizarre uniqueness as much as he was.

And yet… as it stood, he couldn’t. Because just as he had been all summer, the author of the journals, or rather, his very own great uncle, was still so close but so far out of his reach.

Whenever Mabel wrote a letter home to her and Dipper’s parents, she made sure to spare no expense when it came to the finer details of their fantastical, often rather harrowing summer escapades in Gravity Falls. Of course, given Mabel’s infamously active imagination and how bizarre and flowery her accounts of such misadventures usually were, their parents never showed any signs of taking too much stock in believing her stories in their responses. Even so, that didn’t stop her from writing about them all the same, and in her latest letter to them, she had much to tell indeed.

“Dear Mom and Dad,” Mabel began, dictating the letter aloud as she sat on the living room floor to write it out. “We’ve been in Gravity Falls for the few months and so much has happened! Just the other day, gravity reversed itself, almost destroying the whole universe and wrecking the whole town!”

At that moment, Mabel happened to glance up at the TV, which was playing a fitting report on the damage the portal’s opening had caused throughout Gravity Falls as a whole. “Well, they say it was just an earthquake,” Lazy Susan said as she stood outside of Greasy’s Diner as a crane was attempting to set it back into its normal position. “But you know what I think? I think I’m gonna have to start serving pineapple upside-right cake! Haha, am I right? …Am I right?”

As the crane ended up clumsily dropping the diner, the shot cut to Mayor Dewey giving a speech downtown. “Good people of Gravity Falls!” the mayor addressed the crowd before him somewhat anxiously. “I-I know that throughout this summer, our fair town here has been plagued by a serious of, er… uh, mishaps. Like this recent mysterious earthquake… or that giant hand-shaped spaceship coming a few weeks ago… or that giant robot ordeal a few weeks before that… or the lake being stolen a few weeks before that… or that scary red eyeball appearing in the sky a few weeks before that…” Dewey paused, a concerned frown crossing his features as a beat of awkward silence passed through the crowd in light of this derailment off topic. “Wait, what was I talking about again?”

As the news report continued, Mabel turned her attention back to her letter, eager to detail the most recent happenings to her parents. “But the coolest part of the summer was when Grunkle Stan’s twin brother came out of this portal-thingy. Now we have two grunkles for the price of one! And they are adorable together!” Upon finishing her letter, Mabel drew a sketch of both Stan and Ford, their expressions surly and grumpy though they were still peacefully holding hands all the same.

“Hi, Mabel!” Steven greeted with a smile as he entered the shack a moment later. “What are you up to?”

“Hiya, Steven! I was just finishing up a letter to my parents about all the stuff that’s been going on around here,” Mabel explained, holding said letter up. “Though at this rate, with so many huge things going on lately, I think its gonna be longer than I anticipated…”

“Yeah, things have been… pretty intense lately…” Steven noted, his smile dissipating as he rubbed his arm and looked to the side. “Garnet and Pearl still haven’t talked to each other after the whole… ya know, Sardonyx thing, and I’m pretty sure none of the Gems are still really over getting their memories back… I just hope that everything will sort itself out and things can finally get back to normal again soon…”

“I’m sure they will,” Mabel reassured with a bright smile, one that was soon accompanied by a newfound rush of warmth in her cheeks as she glanced down at the young Gem’s hand, which happened to be right within her reach as he stood not too far away from her. Really, it would have been so very easy to reach out and take it in an act of solace and comfort given his downcast manner. And perhaps she would have worked up the nerve to do so too… if her brother hadn’t ended up rushing in right before she could get the chance.

“Mabel! Steven!” Dipper exclaimed as he entered the room, carrying a rather large box. “You’ll never guess what I found at the store today!”

“It looks like… a box,” Steven ventured, his small smile returning.

“Dogs!” Mabel exclaimed, forcing herself to perk up. “Dogs with hats!”

“No,” Dipper shook his head, opening the box up only to reveal another, much more decorated box inside of it, which he held up for the pair to see. “It’s my favorite fantasy-talking, level-counting, statistics and graph-paper involving game of all time: Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons! Do you guys wanna play it with me?”

“Well… I do like unicorns,” Mabel noted as she looked over the game’s intricate fantastical box art. “And that hot elf looks promising.”

“Yeah, it looks like it’s a lot of fun, like Sugar Country, or Hint!” Steven chimed in. “How do you play?”

“The rules are super simple,” Dipper assured as he opened the game’s surprisingly large instruction booklet. “First you roll a 38-sided die to determine the level of each player’s statistical analysis poweroid. These orbs relate directly to the amount of quadrants your team as dominion over, which is inverse to the anti-quadrants in your quadrant satchel.”

A beat of stilted silence passed in the aftermath of this rather daunting explanation as Steven and Mabel exchanged an equally bewildered look, neither of them needing to communicate to each other that they had next to no idea what Dipper was talking about. “Uh… w-well that… that sounds, uh…” Steven’s uncertain stumbling soon devolved into exactly what he really felt. “…I’ll be honest, I have no idea what any of that meant…”

“Ok, ok, so after we do all that confusing stuff,” Mabel interjected with a wave of her hand. “Then so we get to ride unicorns?”

“Yes!” Dipper nodded, much to his sister’s excitement, which dissipated almost immediately after he continued. “And… no. First, we make a graph.”

“Ugh, this is like Homework the Game…” Mabel groaned, any interest she might have had in the game completely gone upon hearing this.

“Oh come on, you guys, its not that bad,” Dipper retorted. “Just try it for a round or two. You never know, you might have fun.”

“Ew, how can you even mention fun in the same sentence as all that gross math you gotta do just to play the dang game?” Mabel asked, sticking her tongue out in disdain.

“Well, I’d try it, Dipper, but I think it’s just a little too… complicated for me,” Steven said with sincerity. “And by complicated I mean I’d probably get a headache just trying to figure out how to set the game up…”

“I think most normal people would, Steven,” Mabel remarked, crossing her arms.

Dipper let out a small huff of aggravation at this slight, but even so, he persisted in trying to convince them. “W-well once you get going, its easy,” he assured, even if that wasn’t exactly the truth. After all, Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons was notorious for taking an extensive amount of time and dedication to learn how to play properly, but as far as Dipper was concerned, neither Steven nor Mabel needed to know that. “Besides, I need at least two people to play, so could one of you just-”

“Oh, would you look at that!” Mabel exclaimed with faux surprise as Soos happened to enter the room, giving her leeway to flee to the other side of the den. “Two people!”

“Well wait, with Steven standing here, doesn’t that technically make three?” Soos asked, unaware of the previously unfolding conversation. “Or are we using some kind of new counting system here that I don’t know about.”

“Uh, no…” Dipper frowned, slightly confused before getting back to the matter at hand. “But anyway, Soos, is there any way you’d be up for a little game of D, D, and More D?”

“Aw, sorry, Dipper,” the handyman said, truthfully apologetic. “But I don’t really go for that pen and paper kind of stuff. I’m more of an FCLORPer.”

“…A what?”

“FCLORP,” Soos reiterated with a proud grin. “Foam and Cardboard Legitimate Outdoor Role Play. It is where a passionate brethren of craftsman bring their dreams to magical reality!”

“Oh, I think I’ve heard of that,” Steven spoke up, intrigued. “Isn’t that where everyone dresses up in cardboard costumes and fights each other with foam swords? Now that sounds like fun!”

“It totally is, dude,” Soos readily agreed. “You should see us when we break the plastic ball pit balls out. That’s when things really get intense!”

“Uh… well, thanks anyway, Soos,” Dipper said, still rather disappointed that he had no one to play with. Or so it seemed, until Stan walked in.

“Say,” the conman began with an already goading smirk as he noticed the game box his nephew was holding. “Is that the game that’s mostly math and writing and isn’t anything like the picture on the box?”

“Yes, it is!” Dipper said with newfound excitement. “You wanna play it with me, Grunkle Stan?”

“Ha, as if!” Stan laughed rather mockingly as he grabbed the rule book. “Look, kid, I prefer to do my dice rolling in Vegas. Besides, only a game designed by nerds would have ‘charisma’ as a fantasy power. Heh, and check this out,” he turned to a random page in the rule book and began reading out loud callously. “When facing yon adversaries, shield thyself under an elfin buttress.”

“Ha!” Mabel chuckled, thoroughly amused. “Say it again!”

“Buttress!” Stan repeated before both him and Mabel broke down into a round of teasing laughter over the game’s rather self-indulgent manner.

“Hey!” Dipper protested petulantly, taking the rule book back amidst his somewhat flustered embarrassment.

“Aw, come on, you guys,” Steven interjected, clearly sympathetic for Dipper, though he still didn’t really get the jist of the game himself. “Just because this game isn’t really for us, doesn’t mean you have to be so mean about it.”

“Yeah, what Steven said,” Dipper staunchly and crossly agreed. “Heck, maybe you guys just aren’t smart enough to understand it.”

“Uh… actually I think that kinda undermined what I was just trying to say…” Steven noted, though both him and Dipper were overpowered by more bemused laughter from Stan and Mabel.

“Heh, sorry, dude,” Soos remarked to Dipper, somewhat caught up in the round of levity himself. “But it is kind of nerdy. Well, I’m off to lay siege to a goblin fortress.” At this, the handyman girded himself with a sloppily made cardboard helmet and sword before boldly running off to begin his FCLORPing quest. “To my grandma’s backyard!”

Since Dipper had been unable to find any human opponents to play Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons with, he decided to resort to the next best thing he could think of. Which was how he ended up setting the game board up outside the shack facing off in a less than exciting round of the game against Gompers the goat.

“Oh nice! You rolled a 17!” Dipper said with something of a forced grin after he himself rolled the die for the goat, who only let out a dull bleat in response. “Aaaand… this is sad. Maybe I should just go back to obsessing over Wendy again…”

Dipper let out something of a defeated sigh as he leaned back away from the board, unable to keep himself from feeling just the slightest bit lonely. True, he had reconciled with Mabel and Steven following the portal incident and they were all once again on even ground with each other, as they should have been. And yet, for whatever reason, he still felt somewhat distanced from the pair, almost as if remnants of that unsavory tension were lingering behind even still. Their unanimous rejection of his invitation to play Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons with him did make sense; after all, Dipper knew just how complicated the game must come across to the outsider looking in. And yet, the fact that neither of them really seemed very interested in learning how to play it, even if for nothing more than his sake, spoke volumes to him about exactly how much support they were willing to give him. It was abundant in times of tribulation, when they all found that they needed to lean on each other to remain standing strong; but in the smaller, quieter moments, that solidarity was, disappointingly enough, nowhere to be found.

As lost in pensive thought as he was, Dipper didn’t even notice that Gompers had gotten ahold of his 38-sided die until the goat attempted to munch down on it, much to his sudden alarm. “Hey! Give that back!” Dipper ordered, attempting to retrieve the die only for Gompers to maintain his surprisingly firm hold on it. “C’mon, Gompers, let go!” With another heavy pull back, the goat finally released the die, only for it to go flinging back past Dipper and roll under the nearby porch instead. “Ugh, seriously?” Dipper muttered to himself in exasperation as he crawled over to retrieve it. However, right after he had slipped under the porch and began reaching around for the die, the loose soil near the base of the house unexpectedly shifted, crumbling apart right underneath him. Before he could even think to catch himself, Dipper suddenly found himself falling through the newly created opening, passing through several beams and cobwebs before roughly hitting the basement floor. While somewhat shaken, fortunately he didn’t seem to be injured as he began to slowly pick himself up and finally reclaim the elusive 32-sided die, which just so happened to be sitting right next to the now-contained monster Ford had defeated in the gift shop earlier. Even so, Dipper made sure to take care in reaching for the die, lest he aggravate the dangerous creature, only to be abruptly halted right before he could reach it.

“Dipper! Stop!”

“G-Great Uncle Ford!” Dipper exclaimed, startled as he spun around to face the author, who looked far from pleased to see his nephew down in his off-limits lab.

“What did I say about coming down here?” Ford admonished, hands on his hips. “My work is far too dangerous for a single living soul to spend even one second—Wait! Is that a 38-sided die from Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons?”

“Uh, yeah…” Dipper frowned, somewhat bewildered as he reclaimed the die and held it up for the author to see. “You know that game?”

Ford briefly smirked at this, his manner turning bold as he began to recite the game’s iconic tagline. “With pen and paper, shield and sword-”

“Our quest shall be our just reward!” Dipper joined in just as excitably before joining his uncle in a bout of bemused laughter.

“This is my favorite game in the whole multiverse!” Ford exclaimed, still grinning brightly. “I can’t believe they still make it!”

“They do! And I’ve been looking all day for someone to play it with me,” Dipper said, though his enthusiasm briefly turned to hesitation out of fear of pressing his luck with the author like he had a few days ago. “But uh, i-if you’re too busy to, I totally understand. In fact, I should probably just-”

“Dipper, my boy,” Ford interjected, placing a hand on his nephew’s shoulder before he could depart. “Do you know what this means? We must stop everything I’ve been working on at once… and play!”

Upon hearing this, Dipper couldn’t hold back a small gasp of excited surprise, knowing that the last person he had expected to gain as a welcome opponent for Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons was the author of the journals himself. However, before the pair could get to playing, the octopus creature suddenly broke free from its containment unit, launching itself at Ford and latching onto his face. The author upheld his chipper smile though as he simply tore the creature off is face, which had received a rather alarming series of burns from the monster’s somewhat toxic touch. “That’s… going to leave a mark.”

Seeing as how Steven was just as big of a fan of both Ducktective and Dogcopter as Mabel and Stan were, he eagerly joined them in preparing for the long-awaited crossover between the two properties the following day. All three of them wanted to make sure that they had the ultimate viewing experience; after all, it wasn’t every day that two such incredibly loved characters and universes came together in such a unique and exciting way.

“Ok, so it looks like we’ve got everything we need to watch the Ducktective/Dogcopter crossover tomorrow,” Mabel said as her and Steven looked over the massive mountain of snacks they had accumulate. “I even made mouth-ramps so we can pour food into our mouths without taking our eyes off the screen!” She showed one of the mouth ramps she had created off, a cardboard box filled to the brim with food with a small ramp stuck onto the side, before readily demonstrating how it worked, which was surprisingly well.

“I brought my Ducktective and Dogcopter collectable figurines down here with me so they can be part of this historic event!” Steven proclaimed as he held the figures up. “Ironically enough, I already had these two sitting next to each other on my shelf, so in a way its kinda like I almost predicted them meeting up for real like this!”

“And I used some spare taxidermied parts to mash the two of them up together the flying mystery solver: Dogtectuckcopter!” Stan proclaimed, holding the rather nightmarish amalgamation of fake duck and fake dog he had created up.

“Whoa! Its like a fusion…” Steven mused in amazement.

“Only a super messed up one!” Mabel laughed, amused. “Dipper would love that!”

“Heh, yeah, where is the little squirt anyway?” Stan asked, briefly glancing around for his apparently missing nephew. “I haven’t seen him all afternoon.”

Completely unbeknownst to the group upstairs, Dipper was merely in the basement below them with Ford, just as he had been ever since he had accidentally fallen down there. Since both of them were very well acquainted with the intricate rules of Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons, they had wasted no time in setting the game up and getting their campaign started. And as was usually the case with the fast-paced high fantasy game, it didn’t take very long for said campaign to build up to the epic (albeit imaginary) intensity it was known for.

“Alright,” Ford began, deftly passing the 38-sided die between his fingers as he laid out the ongoing scenario for his nephew. “You’ve entered the chamber. Princess Unattainabelle beckons you. But wait! It’s a trap! An illusion cast by Probabilitor the Annoying.”

“You know his weakness, right?” Dipper asked with a knowing smirk before they both proclaimed said weakness in unison.

“Prime statistical anomalies over 37 but not exceeding 51!” The pair exclaimed in unison as Dipper rolled the die, fortunately landing on exactly that.

“Aha! Yes!” he cheered brightly as he progressed along in the game past Probabilitor. “Take that, you cardboard wizard!”

“Hm. The old boy looks quite a bit different than he did back in my day,” Ford noted with a nostalgic smile as he looked over the wizard’s in-game artwork.

“Yeah, they change the art every few years,” Dipper said. “Thankfully you missed the period when the creators of the game tried to make it ‘cooler’ by painting everything neon and making the characters rap spells instead of just saying them. It must have been dark times, those 90s.”

“Yeesh,” Ford remarked with a bemused grin as he rolled his eyes. “Sounds like a good time to be stuck between dimensions.”

Upon hearing this, Dipper took pause, his focus on the ongoing game waning somewhat in favor of something he hadn’t really thought much about since him and Ford had begun playing. Something that was admittedly a good deal more important than scouring fake dungeons and defeating fictional wizards. “Great Uncle Ford,” he began evenly enough, hoping that would help him finally answers this time. “I’ve been meaning to ask you… Where were you before you came out of that machine? And… what have you been doing down here these past few days? Are you working on something behind that curtain?” he nodded towards the curtain covering the window that led to the portal’s cavernous chamber, which was now intentionally kept out of sight for whatever reason.

A bout of uneasy hesitation crossed the author’s expression at such pertinent inquiries, and upon that alone, Dipper’s hopes for getting any concrete answers abruptly sank. Of course, they only ended up sinking even further when Ford all but confirmed he had no intentions of giving any. “Dipper, its best if you and the family stay away from that subject…” he replied, casting a brief, somewhat worried glance behind him. “Honestly, I’m not sure any of you could handle the real answer.”

For a moment, Dipper wanted to argue that he could handle it. That, based on everything he had been through during the past several months alone, he could understand and comprehend whatever was lying in wait beyond that curtain. That he wasn’t just the naive, innocent kid that Ford no doubt took him for upon a first glance. But in the end, he knew that arguing the opposite would likely prove exactly that, which was why he decided to pursue an entirely different tangent instead. “Well… what about the Gems?” he asked, glancing aside. “You guys did used to work together way back when, right? Does that mean you’re gonna let them in on, um… everything?”

Once again, Ford hesitated, his manner clearly remorseful and conflicted even as he answered, despite his relative discomfort with the topic in general. “Under normal circumstances, I… might have, but my current relationship with the Gems is somewhat… uneasy, so to speak,” he explained as eloquently as he could. “It’ll take some time before things between all of us will even remotely resemble how they used to be, especially since Rose is… no longer around. In a way, I suppose that the falling out between us all was my fault…” The author paused, his expression sad as he let out a small sigh before shaking his head to clear it. “B-but even if everything was smooth sailing between myself and the Gems, to my understanding, now really wouldn’t be the best time to bother them with external affairs. I hear they’ve been having plenty of problems all their own lately…”

“Oh yeah…” Dipper agreed with a concerned frown. “Things have been pretty tense between the Gems ever since they got their memories back, but Pearl lying to Garnet so they could fuse into Sardonyx really didn’t help anything.”

“So that’s what happened,” Ford mused thoughtfully. “To be perfectly honest, I can’t really blame Pearl for going to such… extensive lengths. I can only imagine how losing Rose might have effected her in particular.”

“From the way she always talks about Rose, it seems like the two of them were pretty close,” Dipper noted.

“They were very close,” the author smirked somewhat nostalgically at this. “It’s part of the reason why Pearl didn’t really care for me too much for me when Rose and I first became research partners. That is, until…” Ford trailed off as he glanced down at the gameboard still sitting between them, a small, brief chuckle escaping him before he diverted away from it. “Well, never mind. I’ll save that story for another time. Certainly things between the Gems will work themselves out in the end.”

Though it seemed as though Ford intended on getting back to the game, Dipper didn’t exactly want to leave it at that, especially as he happened to remember something, or rather someone, that he had regrettably not thought too much about since before the portal opened. And now, given that he was sitting right across from the wise author of the journals himself, he figured now was a good a time as any to finally, hopefully, get some help with it. “Uh… speaking of things working out…” he began rather tentatively. “Great Uncle Ford, you’ve studied a lot of Gem stuff, right?”

“But of course,” Ford said with a somewhat proud grin. “The mysteries of Gemkind were always a highlight of my research. In fact, if I had had the time, I would have started a fourth journal completely dedicated to Gem-related topics. And… depending on how things turn out, I might still run with that idea in the future perhaps… hm…”

“Um, yeah, s-so… did you ever figure out a way to, uh… split a really unhealthy, really dangerous fusion up?” Dipper asked anxiously, trying his best to mask how desperate he really was for a ‘yes’ to this longtime question.

Yet a ‘yes’ wasn’t what Ford gave him, at least not right away as he instead looked to his nephew with slight concern. “Why do you ask?”

“W-well….” Dipper began, unsure of how to really explain this story in a way that wouldn’t remind him of how painful it really was. But upon realizing that was nigh impossible, he decided to just get on with it anyway, knowing that if Ford really did hold a solution, then that pain would be more than worth it in the end. “Near the beginning of the summer, Steven, Mabel, and I met this Gem named Lapis Lazuli. We helped her out and then she went away for a while, but when she came back, me and her hung out a lot and… w-well I guess you could say we became pretty close friends. But then… these two Gems from Homeworld showed up: Peridot and Jasper. They tried to take Steven and the Gems back with them, but we ended up stopping them and crashing their ship near the lake, and it seemed like everything was going to be ok, until…” Dipper trailed, off hesitating as he stared at the ground in front of him as he realized that, even though weeks had passed since that fateful, awful dawn on the lake’s shores, the reality of what had happened there still hadn’t gotten any easier to swallow. “U-until Jasper… forced Lapis to fuse with her so she could take all of us out. So they fused into this huge, powerful monster of a fusion named Malachite, b-but before they could attack us, Lapis took control and dragged them both into the lake, a-and… and she’s been stuck down there ever since. She’s keeping herself trapped down there and fighting Jasper pretty much every second of every day just to keep us safe… to keep me safe…”

Though Ford had been silent for the sake of intently listening to his nephew’s solemn tale up until this point, upon noticing the tears just starting to well up in Dipper’s eyes, he found he could keep quiet no longer. “Dipper…” he began gently, only to be quickly interupted.

“It’s all my fault…” Dipper muttered, the guilt in his tone palpable as he wiped his eyes dry. “And the worst part of it is, I have no idea how to save her, but I have to. I owe it to her, and e-even besides that, she doesn’t deserve to be trapped again. And that’s why… I-I was hoping maybe you could maybe help me with that?” he asked, looking to Ford with almost pleading sincerity. “The Gems have been too busy with trying to track Peridot down to do anything about this, b-but if you know how to split a fusion like Malachite up, then we could finally free Lapis!”

Ford’s expression was already full of both sympathy and remorse before he even said anything. And when he speak up on the matter as his nephew eagerly awaited his response, he decided to be completely honest; after all, there was really no point in being anything else on a subject as sensitive as this. “Dipper, I… I’m sorry,” the author began evenly, yet sincerely. “Most of my research concerning Gem fusions tended to focus more on how they were formed and functioned rather than how they fell apart. So… suffice to say my knowledge on the topic is rather… limited, at best.”

“O-oh…” Dipper was unable to hold back a disappointed sigh upon hearing this, knowing that, as usual, he was right back to square one when it came to freeing Lapis from her watery prison. “Ok, I understand… thanks anywa-”

“However,” Ford interjected with a small smile of reassurance. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be willing to figure the solution to such a complicated problem out. After all, I’d like to think that working through the impossible is something I have a certain knack for.”

“So… you’ll help?” Dipper asked, a sense of rising hope filling him.

“Yes,” the author confirmed, his smile widening. “It might not be an easy task, but I promise, I’ll do anything I can to help you rescue her.”

“Oh my gosh! Thank you so much, Great Uncle Ford!” Dipper caught Ford quite off guard with an unexpected hug, one that the author awkwardly returned as he realized just how important this matter apparently was to his nephew. Which was why, for whatever reason, he felt a strong obligation to keep the promise he had just made, no matter how difficult doing so might prove to be. “Oh! Uh, s-sorry!” Dipper exclaimed, clearly flustered as he broke away from the hug.

“Don’t be,” Ford assured with a small laugh. Even so, the author paused for a beat, knowing that while they couldn’t exactly do much to save Lapis at that very moment, there was perhaps something he could do to help raise his nephew’s no doubt still lowered spirits, even if it would be a rather small attempt at best. “You know… while I can’t tell you much about where I’ve been the past 30 years, I can show you something I brought back with me.” The author’s grin turned wry as he reached into a small pouch tied to his belt and fished out a tiny, unassuming black box, which he opened to reveal something quite incredible. Upon a first glance, it seemed to be a many-sided die, the same kind that was often used in Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons, yet this one was quite different in many ways. Firstly, its crystalline surface emitted a faint, almost magical glow, but even more fascinating was the fact that the various cryptic symbols on its many sides seemed to be in a state of continual flux, constantly shifting and changing on their own accord to the point that the same symbol rarely ever appeared twice. “An infinity-sided die,” Ford proclaimed, quite proud of such a rare interdimensional find.

“Whoa…” Dipper gasped, his eyes wide with amazement as he looked to the special game piece. “That’s so cool! And… impossible!”

“These things are outlawed in 9,000 dimensions,” Ford explained, clearly just as excited as his nephew was. “You wanna know why? Look at those symbols. Infinite sides means infinite outcomes. If I rolled it, anything could happen. Our faces could melt into jelly, the world could turn into an egg, or… you could just roll an 8. Who knows? That’s why I have to keep it in this protective cheap plastic case. Now, let’s get back to the game! You’ve got Probabilitor on the ropes, though his power level ranks far above yours. You’d need to be accompanied by a level 19 paladin at least in order to get past him.”

“Ugh, of course,” Dipper groaned in exasperation. “If only we had one more player. That would make this so easy!”

“Hm…. Another player, you say?” the author mused, glancing down to the game board, or more particularly, an image of a knight in the background of its artwork. He had considered this idea earlier, when Dipper had first invited him to play Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons with him, in fact, but the author had put the thought aside for obvious reasons. Though now, after giving it a little more thought and with the opportunity that had just presented itself, perhaps it wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. “I think I know just the Gem…”

Pearl let out a small, sad sigh as she sat on the living room couch, her hands folded neatly in her lap as she stared down at them solemnly. Only about a day had passed since Garnet had discovered her deception, and as far as the white Gem knew, nothing had changed concerning her leader’s disposition concerning the situation. Or rather, concerning the massive, rather inexcusable mistake she herself had committed against her. A mistake that, despite Pearl’s best efforts, she had been completely unable to distract herself from. Not that she thought she really deserved to have a break from the memory of her wrongdoing anyway; as far as she was concerned, she deserved to carry the oppressive weight of this guilt around with her. After all, it was only fair after she had absolutely betrayed the trust of someone she respected and cared for as much as Garnet.

And so, in light of the unsteady relations between the team and a lack of any pressing missions, Pearl expected that her day would be rather uneventful as a whole. What she hadn’t been expecting, however, was for both Dipper and Ford to suddenly show up at the temple quite out of nowhere.

“Uh, hey, Pearl,” Dipper greeted somewhat tentatively as he entered the temple first.

“Oh, hello, Dipper!” Pearl replied with a warm smile that quickly fell as Ford followed in after him. “And… Stanford… What a surprise…”

“G-greetings, Pearl,” Ford offered a somewhat awkward smile and wave, one that Pearl met rather coldly, as he had honestly been expecting she would. “I simply came by to—I mean, we came by to see if you wanted to… o-or rather, if you had the time to join us in… I mean-”

“We wanted to see if you were up to playing a game with us,” Dipper interjected, getting the point across much more concisely than Ford could in his apparent discomfort in interacting with the white Gem in light of recent events.

“A game?” Pearl tilted her head in confusion as she looked between the pair skeptically. “… What kind of game?”

Ford was quick to properly collect himself at this, a small grin crossing his features as he took a small step forward and presented Pearl with a 38-sided die. “You wouldn’t by chance happen to remember Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons, would you?”

Pearl was unable to contain a gasp of surprise at this, a brief smile of excitement coming along with it, though she was quick to press it away. “I-I… I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she claimed, crossing her arms as she sharply glanced away. “I’ve never even heard of… what was it again? Dungeons—something? W-well, whatever it is, I���m sure its completely ludicrous and not at all engaging or immersive or anything of the like.”

“Oh, but don’t you remember, Pearl?” Ford asked, raising an eyebrow. “30 years ago, you and used to spend many a night embroiled in epic rounds of slaying ogres and challenging each other with labyrinthine dungeons and quadratic equations. I always used to think it was a treasured pastime between the two of us. You know, after you stopped thinking I was competing against you for Rose.”

Upon hearing this lightly teasing jab, Pearl let out an appalled scoff, her cheeks lighting up in a blue blush as she glared away hotly. Dipper on the other hand, was quite surprised to hear this news. “You guys used to play D, D, and More D together?” he asked curiously.

“N-no!” Pearl exclaimed, though at the very same time, Ford offered his own enthusiastic response.

“All the time!” the author assured brightly.

“W-well, I certainly don’t remember anything of the sort!” the white Gem protested crossly.

“Perhaps you just haven’t managed to recall those memories yet?” Ford theorized thoughtfully.

“Yeah! Maybe playing the game will end up jogging your memory of it!” Dipper suggested, offering the white Gem a hopeful smile.

“I… don’t think so, Dipper,” Pearl denied gently enough, not wanting to upset her pupil, though it seemed as though she didn’t have the same consideration for the author. “After all, I have much more… important matters to attend to… You can see yourselves out.” And with that, the white Gem abruptly turned on her heel to head towards the temple gate, her arms still folded as she resisted the urge to turn back around, even as Dipper and Ford continued conversing.

“Aw man… how am I gonna get past Probabilitor now?” Dipper asked, clearly disappointed by Pearl’s rejection.

“I’m sure we’ll figure something out,” Ford reassured, placing a hand on his nephew’s shoulder. “Still, it really is a shame… Pearl is one of the best players I’ve ever met. After only a few hours of me explaining the game to her, she had already managed to catch up to me in almost all of her categories. And don’t even get me started on her incredible strategic abilities! One time, we were cornered against four ice dragons with essentially no magic left between either of us, and she managed to beat them back and get us out of that dungeon in only seven rolls! It was spectacular!”

“If I recall correctly…” Pearl suddenly interjected, glancing over her shoulder with a hint of a wry expression on her face. “It was five ice dragons in six rolls… Though of course,” the white Gem turned fully, finally cracking a bit of a sardonic smile. “I could be wrong. After all, my memory might still be a little hazy…”

“Well, regardless of the specifics, your tactics still were always very impressive back in the day,” Ford professed with a fond, genuine smile.

“But of course they were,” the white Gem shrugged, smirking. “After all, I learned such tactics in the uproarious intensity of an actual battlefield thousands of years ago. Applying those strategies to theoretical monsters and warlocks really isn’t that different when you think about it.”

At this, neither Pearl nor Ford could hold back a shared warm laugh, one that seemed to spark up the playful camaraderie they used to share in the past, one that they now both fully seemed to remember. And upon seeing things starting to repair themselves between the pair, Dipper felt inspired enough to present his initial offer to the white Gem yet again. “So… does this mean you’ll play with us?” he asked, hopeful.

Pearl took pause, hesitating briefly as she remembered that she deserved no such distraction from the mistake she had made against Garnet. Which meant that she didn’t deserve to enjoy herself in a pastime that she now remembered she really did enjoy quite a bit. And yet… upon meeting her young pupil’s expectant glance, she found that it was just about impossible for her to say no. “Oh, alright,” she chuckled softly. “I suppose I can join you two for a little while… “

“Pearl, I think we all know that a ‘little’ while is rarely ever little when it comes to Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons,” Ford remarked rather coyly.

The white Gem let out a genuine laugh at this, rather happy to follow after Dipper and Ford as they lead the way down to the Mystery Shack for what was bound to be an intense afternoon of dungeon spelunking and equation solving. “I can’t argue with you there.”

Sure enough, a little while had turned into an all-day campaign as Dipper, Ford, and Pearl hypothetically set out on their grandiose, mathematical quest. True to the author’s recounting, the white Gem was surprisingly skilled at the game, her recollection of its intricate rules returning to her memory practically the moment she sat down to play it. And with that recollection came a renewed enthusiasm for the playful pastime her and Ford used to share, one that showed itself in every roll of the die and move across the board she made. Seeing as how both Ford and Dipper already had plenty of enthusiasm towards the game themselves even before Pearl had joined them, this made for an air of genuine excitement as they all congregated in the basement lab to carve out their intrepid victory.

“Excellent work, Dipper! You finally managed to defeat that troublesome fire golem!” Pearl proclaimed with a congratulatory grin.

“Yeah,” Dipper said with a slightly exasperated sigh. “Now if only I could have stopped those woodland imps from stealing all my healing potions…”

“Heh, speaking of imps,” Ford remarked, sending Pearl a wry, reminiscent smirk. “That reminds me of the time Amethyst snuck down here and attempted to steal just about every morsel of food I had in the house.”

“Oh, that was a mess,” Pearl chuckled heartily upon hearing the familiar tale. “I remember there was a trail of food leading all the way between here and the temple! No wonder that horrific moth man creature attacked us that night when we were trying to clean it up!”

“A moth man?” Dipper asked, quite intrigued. “Like the one in the journal?”

“The very one,” Ford nodded in confirmation. “It was so dark that we barely even saw him coming until he jumped at me out of nowhere to try and get my lantern.”

“Oh, you should have seen it, Dipper!” Pearl laughed openly. “The bold, brazen ‘author of the journals’, cowered in fear against a tree, crying for mercy against a cloud of moths, of all things. It was hilarious!”

“I-in my defense, that ‘cloud of moths’ just so happened to be in the shape of a man, and a very intimidating one at that!” Ford protested, clearly flustered.

“Ah yes, so intimidating that it only took one toss of Rose’s shield to completely dispel it and save you, yet again,” the white Gem remarked, her tone still coy and playful. “Then again, I suppose it wasn’t entirely your fault, Stanford. After all, you were rather danger prone back in those days.”

“Well, if I was, then I suppose I was able to consider myself lucky to have such reliable friends like you, Rose, and the others,” Ford remarked with a warm, genuine smile, one that seemed to carry an underlying layer of unspoken remorse to it as well.

Pearl seemed to mirror this, her own expression somewhat sad and hesitant before shifting into a soft, nostalgic smile, a smile that she didn’t try to chase away this time. “Friends… right…” she muttered, glancing away briefly before quickly perking up and returning her attention back to the game once more. “Now, where were we? Ah yes! Chasing down those pesky imps…”

At this sudden change of gears, Dipper and Ford exchanged a brief glance of confusion, but even so, they were quick to follow Pearl’s lead and get their heads back into the game. After all, from where they stood now, they were bound to have an entire untold adventure ahead of them.

While Mabel knew from over 12 years of firsthand experience that Dipper usually kept rather late hours, most of the time that fact didn’t upset her own normal sleeping routine too much. However, this particular night was an exception to that, as she was finding it just about impossible to fall asleep with her brother intently plotting out his ongoing Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons strategy only a few feet away from her.

“Ok, so if I had a dragon here…” Dipper muttered to himself as he sketched out his plans amidst several pieces of graph paper. “Oh, and then a plus the fire mode over here-”

“Dipper, are you ever going to sleep?” Mabel asked as she rolled over in bed to face him, finally exasperated to the point that she couldn’t keep silent on it any longer. “You’ve been saying dork words for hours…”

“Sorry, Mabel, but I’ve got to finish this dungeon,” Dipper countered, not even bothering to glance up as he continued working. “It’s gonna totally stump Pearl and Great Uncle Ford tomorrow, I can’t wait to see the look on their faces!”

Mabel took pause upon hearing this, her already present frown deepening as she sat up. “You’ve, uh… been spending a lot of time with old Fordsy lately, huh?” she asked, her tone innocently curious enough. She didn’t see much of a reason to mention Pearl in her question, namely because she knew that Dipper already spent a good deal of time with the white Gem through his sword lessons, which meant that this was nothing really new. His recently developed comradery with Ford, on the other hand was. And for whatever reason, Mabel wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it.

“You have no idea,” Dipper said with an enthusiastic smile. “I knew the author must have been cool, but he’s better than I imagined! And… he doesn’t make fun of me like you and Grunkle Stan do.”

“Ha! Give him time!” Mabel teased, though she instantly wished she hadn’t upon seeing her brother’s expression sour at this remark. “Nah, you got me,” she faked playfulness, though once more Dipper offered her no response. Her own brief smile faded as she lay back down, letting out a small, worried sigh while staring up at the ceiling. True, the painful gap between them torn asunder by the portal had been mostly repaired, but that didn’t mean there weren’t still holes left behind all the same. Holes that she was only now starting to notice and had essentially no idea how to fix. “You got me…”

The Mystery Shack was abuzz with excitement the following day, all in anticipation of the long-awaited, massively hyped-up Ducktective/Dogcopter crossover that was set to air that evening. Steven had already arrived about an hour ago, and in that span of time, him and Mabel had gone through just about every theory and wish they had for the special, both of them more than eager to finally get a chance to see it. It was easy to say that they had sufficiently prepared themselves emotionally and mentally for this grand crossover by the time Grenda arrived to view it with them.

“Thanks for coming over to watch the crossover with us tonight, Grenda,” Mabel smiled as her and Steven greeted the larger girl at the door.

“Of course!” Grenda exclaimed in her usual boisterous way as she held up her Ducktective and Dogcopter flags. “I feel like I’ve been waiting for these two characters to meet my entire life!”

“Same here,” Steven nodded in agreement. “Or, ya know, at least ever since they announced the crossover last month.”

“Hey hey, look at you!” Mabel smirked as she noticed Stan coming downstairs, wearing his finest suit and tie. “Someone’s all dressed up.”

“It’s a big night,” Stan remarked as he adjusted his tie. “I never thought I’d live to see the day where a dog with a propeller on its back meets a duck who solves murder mysteries for a living. It really is a wonderful time to be alive.”

No sooner had the conman finished speaking than the alarm on Steven’s phone suddenly went off, eliciting an excited gasp from everyone. “It’s time!” the young Gem announced happily.

“Viewing positions, everyone!” Mabel ordered, pointing to the living room as they all began making a mad dash towards it. However, the entire group stopped short just as they passed into its threshold, surprise and disappointment hitting all of them as they caught sight of the graph paper and extensive notes regarding Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons strewn about all over the room. And, sitting in the very center of the den, Dipper, Ford, and Pearl were all completely engrossed in their ongoing game, all three of them clearly having a fun time as they were all but oblivious to the group that had just walked in on them.

“Ah! Graph paper! Kill it!” Grenda shouted, furiously stomping on the nearest piece of it.

“Uh… what’s going on in here?” Steven asked, much more calmly. “And wait, Pearl? What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you know…” Pearl began, sending her young ward a casual smile. “Just completely decimating these two in a duel for the mystical forbidden treasure of old.”

“Not for long, you won’t,” Dipper challenged brazenly as he rolled the die, though Mabel interupted before the game could go any further.

“Uh, Dipper? Could you guys maybe move this to another room?” she asked, only thinly veiling her annoyance.

“No dice!” Ford said. “We ran out of room in the basement and we’re going for a world record. Now… dice!” And with that, the author rolled, landing exactly the number he had been hoping for to advance. “Ha! 32, yes! 7,000 points damage!”

“Oh man! You got me!” Dipper laughed, accepting this setback gracefully.

“Hm… lucky roll…” Pearl mused, offering Ford a coy grin of defeat.

“Ugh, why? Why with this?” Stan groaned, not bothering to hide his aggravation with the trio as he sent Ford and Pearl an irritated glare in particular. “You two wanna break some records? You’ve already broken two for world’s nerdiest old man and world’s nerdiest… rock person?”

“Ugh… why am I not surprised that you don’t understand, Stan?” Pearl crossed her arms. “Amethyst used to crack her sarcastic little remarks about myself and Ford back in the day when we used to play this game together, just like you are now. You and her really are two of a kind.”

“Yeah, I can’t say I really blame her,” Stan retorted just as dryly, though he did briefly glance away at the remembrance of how much things had soured between him and Amethyst recently. “It’s not like you two don’t have it coming.”

“Hey, at least we’re not all keyed up to watch some kid’s show,” Ford countered, meeting his brother’s unimpressed expression evenly.

“Hey! I’ll have you know that this Ductective/Dogcopter crossover is gonna be legendary!” Stan snapped defensively. “People will be talking about how hilarious and tragic it is for decades! Or at least for like, a week or something.”

“I don’t get a lot of either of them, but I like animals in human situations,” Grenda pointed out.

“Plus, the music is really good,” Steven added. “And don’t even get me started on those crazy plot twists in both shows! They have so much in common, its like they were made to be together!”

“A-and its starting soon!” Mabel urged fretfully. “Grunkle Stan, do something!”

Stan complied, letting out an exasperated huff as he reached to remove the graph paper covering the television, only for Ford to intercept him by suddenly grabbing his wrist to stop him. “Move that and pay the price,” the author warned, his tone surprisingly grave. Startled, Stan took pause for a moment, only to instantly regain his previously sardonic attitude.

“Oh what? Fifty magical elf dollars?” the conman deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t mock our fantastical monetary system!” Ford snapped fiercely.

“Honestly, Stan, you’re just being childish about this whole thing!” Pearl said just as sharply.

“Yeah, I’m the one being childish, not you guys and your game about knights and fairy princesses and unicorns,” the conman remarked coldly. “And you know what? I’ll mock it all I want; it’s my TV room.”

“It’s my house!” the author argued, clearly angry by this point. However, he did make something of an attempt to calm down by letting out an evening sigh as he relinquished his brother’s hand and instead pulled his bag of many-sided die out instead. “Listen, Stanley, did it ever occur to you that if you joined us, you might have fun?”

“What?” Stan scoffed, clearly caught off guard by this offer. Despite his brief surprise regarding it however, he was quick to reject it, refusing to let his brother have his way, which, as far as he was concerned, always seemed to be the case. “Now you listen to me!” the conman began, snatching the bag right out of the author’s hand. The bag that, as both Ford and Dipper knew, contained something potentially very dangerous inside. “As long as I live I will never-”

“G-Grunkle Stan!” Dipper attempted to warn, though by this point Stan was far too incensed to really listen.

“Ever-”

“Stanley! Don’t!” Ford gasped in alarm as he saw the conman raise the bag up high.

“Play your smartypants nerd game!” Stan finished his harsh proclamation by throwing the bag down onto the ground hard. Unfortunately, out of it rolled a plastic black box, and out of that rolled a glowing die with ever-changing sides.

The infinity-sided die.

For a single, anxious moment, the die was still in motion as it rolled across the carpeted floor, but once it finally came to a stop, it did so on a symbol that had only just appeared: the outline of a powerful wizard. And, just as Ford had said would happen, the die’s power instantly brought its outcome to life. In a flash of blinding light, four mystical figures materialized right out of the box art of Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons, brought to life and to reality in front of the shocked group who could do nothing more than watch as this impossibility unfolded right before their eyes. The assemblage of characters consisted of a massive golden griffon, a lumbering, bulky ogre, a attractive, bow-wielding elf, and finally, a cackling, bearded magician, clearly the leader of the crew as he spoke up first.

“Mortals of dimension 514÷Y! Kneel before me and-” the wizard interupted himself to roll his own die to see what threat he should dole out. “Snivel! I am Probabilitor! The greatest wizard in all of mathology! Give or take an error of 0.4.”

“Eh? Is this… normal?” Stan asked, aptly confused.

“Probabilitor?” Pearl also questioned, bewildered in a different way. “As in the one from the game? How is this even possible? Stanford, what did that die of yours do?!”

“That’s a… long story that there may or may not be time to explain all the details of later,” Ford said, his manner stiff and defensive as he kept a hand tucked away inside his trench coat. Just in case.

“Uh, are you here to send us on the quest of a lifetime because we’re the smartest players you’ve ever met?” Dipper asked the intruding wizard, hoping that his intentions weren’t as sinister as his sudden appearance came across.

“You are the smartest players I’ve ever met!” Probabilitor acknowledged with a sinister grin. “That’s why I’m going to eat your brains to gain your intelligence! Its what I do.”

“It’s his thing,” the wizard’s ogre companion added pointedly.

As everyone reacted to this news with alarmed surprise, Probabilitor took advantage of the moment as he ordered his mythical cohorts into action. “By the power of math, seize them!”

“Your math is no match for me gun, you idiot!” Ford retorted, finally pulling out the powerful laser gun he kept tucked away inside his coat. The author readily took aim, paying no mind to Pearl as she summoned her spear beside him or Dipper as he discreetly slipped away to retrieve something, fortunately without the wizard taking notice.

“Math ray!” Probabilitor shouted, a burst of mathematical power shooting out from his staff. The blast was more than enough to knock the gun clean out of Ford’s hands, leaving him essentially defenseless and opening things up for Pearl to take charge.

“Looks like I have to come to your rescue yet again, Stanford,” the white Gem remarked confidently as she rushed forward. She swung her spear widely, aiming for Probabilitor, though before her strike could land, Pearl suddenly found herself heavily pushed to the ground and pinned there by the griffon and its large, sharp talons. Her spear fell out of her hand and disappeared in its usual burst of sparkles, and with her arms as restrained as they were, summoning another one was nigh impossible.

“You were saying?” Ford remarked much more harshly than he had intended to, though given the circumstances, such stress was reasonable enough.

However, before either the author, the white Gem, or anyone else for that matter could try to thwart Probabilitor’s intentions, Dipper suddenly dashed forward seemingly out of nowhere, the Ancient Sea Blade tight in his grip. Ford in particular was rather startled to see his young nephew not only wielding such a weapon, but to see him running headfirst into obvious danger with a fearless battle cry. Unfortunately, much like Pearl, Dipper’s valiant attempt to cut the hostile wizard was ultimately put to a swift end as Probabilitor lashed out, a burst of his mysterious, dangerous magic spiraling right towards the sword-wielding boy.

“Dipper!” Mabel cried fearfully, though luckily, her brother reacted accordingly. At just the right moment, Dipper twisted his sword in front of him, pulling off a rather risky block that only worked to partially protect him. The Ancient Sea Blade took the brunt of the hit as Dipper was knocked back, and in practically an instant, the wizard’s magic destroyed the elegant sword, causing it to explode in an array of sparkles and mathematical symbols until nothing was left of it at all.

“Enough of this!” Probabilitor exclaimed hotly, pointing his staff in a commanding gesture as the griffon spread its wings and quickly worked to gather Pearl, Ford, and Dipper in hits talons. “I’m not here to play games!” With this, the wizard sent another blast of magic out, this one towards the nearest wall of the shack, which he easily blew a massive hole into. With an insane cackle, Probabilitor flew out through the hole, his band of companions following right behind with their captive trio in tow. “Now to the forest, for the ultimate game!”

“Oh no! Dipper! Pearl! Mr. Ford!” Steven cried worriedly as he rushed up to the hole along with Mabel as they both watched in dismay as they all disappeared into the forest, out of sight and out of reach.

“So…” Grenda spoke up after a beat of worried silence. “The room’s free now. Who wants to watch Ducktective and Dogcopter?” Another moment passed, this one much more awkward as Steven and Mabel looked to her in appalled disbelief at such a callous suggestion. “Nobody? Oh well! More couch for Grenda!”

“Oh, this is really bad,” Mabel said, both her tone and expression very fretful. “That crazy wizard is gonna eat Dipper and Ford’s brains! And… Pearl’s? I think? Isn’t that technically her gem?”

“W-we have to save them!” Steven interjected with a much more pertinent concern.

“Eh, maybe let ‘em get a couple of bites in Ford’s brain first,” Stan remarked, leaning against the side of the hole casually. “Even things out smart-wise.”

“Grunkle Stan!” Mabel scolded, nowhere near as accepting of this alarming kidnapping as he seemed to be.

“Alright, alright,” the conman quickly folded upon meeting his niece’s troubled manner. “I guess if we have no other choice, we’ll go on a… ugh, epic wizard quest.”

“Yay!” the trio of kids exclaimed in unified excitement, all more than ready for such a harrowing adventure if it meant saving their family and friends.

“Now before we hit the road, everyone grab a weapon,” Stan said, still far from enthused from having to go on this journey. After all, he wasn’t particularly excited about having to rescue Ford again, only to no doubt be denied proper thanks once more.

Everyone easily found whatever they had on hand to use as a weapon in their quest. Steven already had one on hand in his shield, as did Stan as he pulled out the baseball bat he kept tucked away in the porch couch’s cushions. On impulse, Mabel grabbed a rake, though Grenda was by far the most heavily equipped as she hoisted a recliner up, more than ready to use it as a weapon if needed.

“We’re coming for you, Dipper!” Mabel boldly proclaimed as everyone prepared to set off on their daring, magical rescue mission. “And Grunkle Ford! And Pearl! And possibly that hot elf, if he’s got anything to do with this.”

“Let’s go!” Steven exclaimed, leading the way as they all rushed headlong into the forest, unsure of what they’d encounter on their journey, but ready to face it all the same.

Probabilitor and his companions had wasted no time at all in setting up a camp deep in the magical forests of Gravity Falls. While the elf and the griffon stood guard in the event of any unwanted intruders, the wizard took the time to taunt his three captives, all of whom were attempting to struggle out of the rather tight bonds that kept them restrained to the large tree in the middle of the clearing.

“With each brain I eat, I shall increase my enchantelligence!” Probabilitor chortled as he used a magical tape measurer to get a count on Ford, Dipper, and Pearl’s heads.

“If my hands were free, I’d break every part of your face!” the author threatened fiercely.

“Not if I get to it first!” Pearl added just as sharply as she sent the wizard a cold glare.

“Squabble all you want,” Probabilitor chuckled darkly. “Either way, the time has come! Hot elf! Ready the brain-cooking pot!”

The elf let out an exasperated sigh, flipping his hood off to reveal his luminous silver hair. “Yes, Probabilitor,” he groaned, rolling his eyes as he took aim at the nearby caldron and ignited it with a flaming arrow.

“Haha! According to my calculations, your brains shall be a delicious part of my balanced wizard breakfast,” the wizard concluded to his captives with a triumphant smirk. “Or lunch. Or dinner. Or whatever mealtime it currently is.”

“Hmph, then clearly it seems that you’ve miscalculated,” Pearl retorted, turning her nose up haughtily. “Even if your ridiculous plan succeeded, you’d only have two brains to snack on anyway since I’m a Gem. Which means, I don’t have a brain.” A beat of curious silence passed at this as both Ford and Dipper sent Pearl questioning looks before she realized what she had just said. “Wait… I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Oh believe me, I’m well aware of your relative brainlessness,” Probabilitor remarked with a knowing grin.

“Again, not what I meant!”

“Which is why I plan on grinding up that pretty little gemstone of yours into the perfect seasoning for brains à la carte!” the wizard finished before breaking down into yet another round of wild laughter.

“Well that’s… dark,” Dipper noted exchanging a concerned look with Pearl.

“You know, I’d almost rather be back at the temple, moping about how upset Garnet is with me…” the white Gem groaned, slumping against the ropes restraining her to the tree. That is, until she remembered just how unbearably tense things actually were between her and the Gem leader in light of what she had done. “Then again… maybe not…”

Though the mystical forest was quite dense, Mabel, Steven, Stan, and Grenda didn’t have a particularly hard time finding their way through it, mostly since they were easily able to follow the trail of griffon feathers that had unintentionally been left behind. So far, the group hadn’t encountered any obstacles or threats along the way, but even so, they were all still on high alert in the event that they did, their makeshift weapons at the ready to defend themselves from any dangers Probabilitor might put in their path.

“We must be getting close,” Stan noted, flinching as he slapped a past on his back. “These fairy bites are getting more frequent.”

“H-hey! Look! Listen!” the now squished fairy cried in pain as she lay crushed against the conman’s shoulder in a pile of glitter.

“I hope we’re not too late,” Steven said fretfully. “I’m not really sure how I’d be able to go back to the temple and explain to Garnet and Amethyst that Pearl got eaten by a crazy board game wizard. A lot of bad things have been happening lately, but I have a feeling that would probably take the cake…”

“Halt!” The group came to an abrupt stop as the massive, threatening ogre suddenly emerged from the nearby greenery, stomping down in front of them and barring the path ahead. “Yon interlopers are trespassing on the ancient forest of Probabilitor the wizard! If ye wish to pass, first, ye must complete seven unworldly quests, each more difficult than the-”

“NO!” Grenda suddenly shouted, brutally hitting the unsuspecting ogre with her heavy chair. The monster fell to the ground with a mighty thud, easily defeated and apparently unconscious, though based on his lack of breathing, he could have possibly been worse off than that.

“Is he… dead?” Mabel asked, poking the downed ogre with her rake.

“He’s magic, sweetie, I’m sure he’s fine,” Stan assured casually enough before turning to Grenda with a serious whisper. “There are no cops in the forest, we take this to our graves.”

Grenda nodded in agreement with this resolve, but even so, Steven and Mabel pressed onward, still clearly worried about their primary mission. “Well… I guess that’s one way to clear a path,” the young Gem noted as they passed by the supposedly unconscious ogre. “Maybe not the best way, but still, a way.”

It was clear from the increasing frequency of Probabilitor’s manic chuckles that his preparations for cooking his captives’ brains were nearly complete. Unfortunately though, despite their skill in Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons, Dipper, Ford, and Pearl had yet to think of a way out of their very real plight, one that could very well cost them all their lives if they didn’t escape from it soon.

“W-what do we do? What do we do?!” Dipper asked in a sharp, panicked whisper, hating how relatively defenseless all three of them were in this situation.

“Stop thinking, Dipper!” Ford retorted, trying to be as calm as possible, something that Pearl also tried to maintain, despite her own dread in this tight spot. “The more wrinkly your brain gets, the more he’ll want to eat it!”

“And now, a little math problem,” Probabilitor said as he stepped up to his trio of captives, a hungry grin claiming his face. “When I subtract your brains from your skulls,” he began, tapping both Dipper and Ford’s heads with his staff. “Add salt,” he lightly poked Pearl’s gemstone at this, causing the white Gem to cringe from the unexpected vibration. “And divide your families, what’s the remainder?”

“Your butt!”

“What?” the wizard asked, startled as he turned to face this unexpected voice. “My butt isn’t part of this particular equation!”

“And neither are we!” Mabel boldly proclaimed as her, Steven, Stan, and Grenda suddenly jumped out of the bushes, all of them still wielding their makeshift weapons brazenly.

“But here we are!” Steven chimed in before waving to the trio tied to the tree. “Hi, Dipper! Hi, Pearl! Hi, Mr. Ford!”

“Well, at least someone came to rescue us…” Pearl noted, though her tone alone conveyed her uncertainty about the group’s effectiveness in actually saving them.

“Drat! How did you get past my one guard?!” Probabilitor scowled, gripping his staff tightly. “Very well… There is one way you can save your family. You must defeat me in Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons: Real Life Edition!”

With a wild cackle, the wizard raised his staff, magic pouring out of it as a large, ornate game board, one that floated just a few feet off the ground just as Probabilitor himself had begun to.

“What? Oh come on!” Stan groaned, knowing that him trying to avoid having to play the complicated, rather boring game was what started this mess in the first place.

“I choose my characters…” Probabilitor continued, snapping his fingers to create three miniaturized, identical ogres on the game board. “Vs… yours!” Upon another burst of mathematical magic, the wizard pointed to his trio of captives, all of whom disappeared from their spot against the tree as he did. They reappeared an instant later, shrunken down themselves as they stood upon Probabilitor’s outstretched palm, unanimously startled by this unexpected shift. However, their size hadn’t been the only thing to change; each of them was now clad in the archaic attire befitting Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons characters, with Dipper and Ford both dressed in earthy adventuring clothes while Pearl had received something of a sparse knight’s armor.

“Ah! My ears! They’re so pointy!” Ford exclaimed, flicking his now elfish ears.

“T-there better be something protective under this tunic,” Dipper remarked before briefly turning around to check. “Oh no, there isn’t!”

“I don’t know what you two are complaining about,” Pearl smirked as she looked over the crimson cape her armor came equipped with. “I could get used to this…”

“Aw, you guys look so adorable!” Steven gasped with delight upon seeing the tiny trio.

“I know, right?” Mabel agreed just as brightly. “Makes me wish I had me camera on me to get a pic of how cute you guys are in your little fantasy outfits!”

“Ok, seriously, you guys, now is not the time!” Dipper scolded, sending a petulant look up at them.

“I’m with the kid, can’t we just arm wrestle or something?” Stan asked, far from enthused.

“Come on, this game is a lot of fun!” Probabilitor urged. “I even had my mom pack me a lunch,” he continued, pulling some apple slices out of his paper bag lunch. “Ew, apple slices? I’ll eat you last.”

“Ugh, just make with the rules already, ugly,” the conman rolled his eyes as him, Mabel, and Steven took a seat on the other side of the game board.

“The game is a battle royale,” the wizard began to explain. “We help out characters by casting spells determined by rolls of the dice. If you win, I’ll go back to my own dimension.”

“Hooray!” Steven and Mabel chimed in unison, hoping for such a peaceful outcome.

“But if I win, I eat their brains/gem!” Probabilitor grinned as he let Dipper, Ford, and Pearl down into the game board itself.

“Well,” Pearl remarked, crossing her arms. “That certainly seems like a risky gamble that only an absolute fool would-”

“Deal!” Stan exclaimed daringly.

“Oh boy…” Dipper sighed as Ford and Pearl shook their heads, all three of them quite concerned about their fate in what would no doubt be a dangerous game.

“Then let the game… BEGIN!” Probabilitor proclaimed, raising his hand before bringing it down and letting his dice roll out of it. The wizard landed a 13, giving him the perfect opportunity to dole out his first move. “Attack!” he ordered his trio of ogres as large, spiked clubs appeared in each of their hands. The creatures rushed towards Dipper, Ford, and Pearl, more than happy to swing their weapons at the group as they narrowly managed to dodge the heavy strikes.

“Oh come on!” Pearl exclaimed in severe annoyance as she tried to summon her spear, only for nothing to emerge from her Gem as a result of Probabilitor’s spell. “As if this entire thing couldn’t get any more aggravating!”

“Oh no!” Steven exclaimed worriedly as he watched this chaos unfold across the game board. “We have to help them!”

“W-what do we do? What are our moves?” Stan asked just as frantically.

“There are no moves!” Dipper shouted up to them as he barely managed to jump out of the way of one of the ogre’s bats. “You make them up!”

“What? Really?” the conman asked, surprised.

“But wait, isn’t this game super complicated?” Mabel asked, just as confused.

“No!” Pearl informed as though it was obvious. “Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons is actually quite simple once you get the hang of it!”

“That’s what I tried to tell you!” Ford added just as intently. “This game involves math, yes, but also risk, enthusiasm, and imagination!”

“Risk?” Stan asked as a smile slowly started to spread across his face.

“Enthusiasm?!” Steven asked, already quite pumped up.

“Imagination?” Mabel finished with a cheerful gasp. “Grunkle Stan, make something up! It’s just like lying!”

“Uh, then I cast, um… shield of… shielding?” Stan ventured, rolling the die and miraculously getting a 14. It was just enough to counter Probabilitor’s roll, and as such, a large, magical shield materialized in front of Dipper, Pearl, and Ford. The ogres’ clubs bounced cleanly off its sturdy surface as the trio crowded behind it, fully protected from any and all harm. “Ha! We’re doing it!” the conman exclaimed in triumph.

That triumph was short lived, however, as Probabilitor quickly made his next roll to cancel Stan’s out. “Shield of shielding reversal spell!” he shouted, and just like that, the magical shield disappeared into thin air, leaving the trio defenseless yet again. They scattered as one of the ogres brought his club down, but fortunately, Steven wasn’t about to leave them unprotected for long.

“I cast, uh… Crazy Fast Lightning Roller Skates!” the young Gem exclaimed, coming up with something off the top of his head as he rolled. Almost as soon as he did, Dipper, Pearl, and Ford all received their own pairs of electrically charged skates, ones that instantly propelled them forward at lighting-fast speeds. The skates were more than enough to get them past the slow, lumbering ogres and their bulky weapons, giving them ample space to prepare themselves to go on the offence as opposed to defense.

“Hot Flamey Sword!” Mabel proclaimed as sharp, fiery swords materialized in the trio’s hands. “Super Hot Flamey Sword!” she added a moment later, and each of the blades extended and the flames surrounding them grew even hotter and brighter.

As the swords solidified themselves, the trio skidded to a stop, their electrified skates still at the ready to send them zooming forward once more. The ogres charged towards them, their expressions fierce as they raised their clubs once again, ready to attack. Only this time, their assault would not go encountered.

“Dipper, stay behind me and Pearl!” Ford ordered his nephew, concerned for his safety amidst this massive beasts. “We’ll handle-” The author was cut off by Dipper’s own battle cry as he swiftly skated forward, flames bursting from his blade as he lashed out in a bold, fast move as he zoomed past one of the ogres. His attack struck true as the creature let out a sharp cry, disappearing into a puff of smoke mere seconds after the flaming sword sliced through it.

“Excellent form, Dipper!” Pearl exclaimed to her pupil brightly. “I can see you’ve been practicing!”

“Thanks!” Dipper called back as he prepared to take on one of the othe ogres. “I have!”

“H-how… where did he learn how to fight like that?” Ford asked, rather amazed at his nephew’s impressive skill with a blade.

“Where do you think?” Pearl asked with a proud smile. “I taught him everything he knows. Now, come on. Dipper can certainly handle himself against those brutes, but it just wouldn’t be fair to let him have all the fun, now would it?”

The author didn’t get much of a chance to respond as the white Gem hurried on ahead, jumping into the fray alongside her pupil. Ford wasn’t far behind and Steven, Mabel, and Stan cheered them on as they worked together to take out the remaining two ogres in record time, much to Probabilitor’s fury.

“No! Drat you! You’ll never outrun my-” the wizard paused as he rolled the dice, grinning wickedly as he made his next move. “Ogre-nado!” With this spell, a massive, spiraling tornado struck up, disembodied ogre heads flying around it as it chased after the trio and blew their swords away. “Ha! It is what it sounds like!” Probabilitor guffawed, watching with twisted delight as the trio ran from the monstrous storm.

“I cast: CENTAURTAUR!” Mabel shouted out of the blue, tossing the dice down onto the board to conjure up a rather nightmarish creature: a centaur with another horse for its head.

“G-goodness! That’s… alarming…” Pearl remarked, rather put off by such a bizarre amalgamation.

“Mabel, I am so confused and so proud right now,” Stan said, sending his niece a bewildered, but warm smile.

“Come on!” Dipper shouted to Pearl and Ford as they all ran for the centaurtaur. Though it was a bit awkward getting onto its double backs, they managed to get a good hold onto the creature long enough for it to carry them away from the approaching ogre-nado as Stan, Mabel, and Steven cheered them on all the while. As the centaurtaur passed into a smaller chamber on the board, both it and the ogre-nado abruptly fell apart, leaving Dipper, Ford, and Pearl safe once more. Or so they thought.

No sooner had the trio picked themselves up off the ground than they suddenly found themselves all pinned to the wall once more, this time by a large, grotesque winged creature with several limbs, tentacles, and two intensely fanged mouths. “Haha, yes!” Probabilitor laughed over his latest move. “I was saving the worst for last!”

“The Impossibeast!” Ford exclaimed in apt surprise. “Hey, I thought they banned this character!”

“Think again!” the wizard grinned deviously. “I’m playing the controversial 1991-1992 edition!”

“W-well this is ok!” Steven reassured as he prepared to roll the dice again. “We’ll just come up with some new weapons and-”

“It’s not that simple,” Pearl interjected fretfully, struggling to break free from the Impossibeast’s iron grip. “From what I remember, this monster is the most powerful creature in the entire game!”

“He can only be defeated by rolling a perfect 38,” Ford added, his tone just as grave. “But the odds of that are-”

“Hey, long odds are what you want when you’re a world class gambler,” Stan cut in with a sly smirk as he took the dice and shook them in his hands. “Alright, Stan, you can do this… Papa needs a new pair of… twins!” Wirth this, the conman tossed the die onto the board, the others taking in a collective deep breath as they hoped that luck would be with him, as the entire game depended on this one singular roll. In an instant that seemed like ages, the die struck the board, rolling across it before finally, fortunately landing on that sought after 38.

“NO!” Probabilitor cried, dumbfounded by disbelief over this effective turn of the tide.

“Ha! Sorry, nerd wizard!” Stan laughed in triumph as Dipper, Pearl, and Ford all let out a shared sigh of relief. “But all your smarts are no match for dumb luck!”

“We cast DEATH MUFFINS!” Mabel and Steven proclaimed in excitable unison, knowing that this move would certainly be for the win. At this, glimmering muffins with an explosive edge to them appeared in each of the trios’ free hands. They didn’t even have to think twice about what to do with them as they simultaneously launched them into the Impossibeast’s wide-open maw, watching with anticipation as the creature swallowed all three of them whole. The effect was almost immediate, for mere seconds later, the death muffins exploded, taking the Impossibeast out along with them in a blinding flash of light.

“Yes!” Stan, Mabel, and Steven cheered in elated unison at this hard-earned win as the game concluded. In a flash, the board disappeared and in its place, Dipper, Ford, and Pearl all reappeared, restored to their normal sizes and clothing with only non-explosive death muffins remaining. An air of celebration rang throughout the group, especially as Steven and Mabel both caught Dipper off guard in a sudden, but welcome hug, glad to have finally rescued him as well as Pearl and Ford.

“The game is, like, over,” the hot elf remarked, shutting the rule book amidst Grenda hugging him tightly, as she had been doing for most of the game. “Excelci-whatever.”

“No!” Probabilitor cried in defeat as him and his companions began to dematerialize. “I’m returning to my own realm! I’m turning into pure math! What are the ooooooooddds?!” The wizard’s final cry hung on the air as he disappeared into equations and grids until nothing remained of him or his wicked intent at all.

“Hmph, serves him right,” Pearl remarked with a satisfied smirk as Steven caught her legs in a sudden embrace, which she gladly returned. “Wanting to crush my gem is one thing, but wanting to use it as a mere seasoning? That was simply absurd.”

“Grunkle Stan, that was amazing!” Dipper exclaimed with a wide smile. “How’d you know you would win?”

“Heh, a gambler never reveals his secrets,” then conman winked as he retrieved the 38 sided die, which he had happened to stick a bit of gum to the side of in order to ensure his perfect 38 roll.

“Man, that really was fun for ages 8 to 80!” Mabel noted with a grin. “Or a million. Or however old you guys are.”

“Yeah, I wish we had tried actually playing the game earlier,” Steven agreed. “I didn’t know what we were missing out on! Electric skates and centaurtaurs and death muffins… What more could anyone want?!”

“Indeed…” Pearl chuckled, though her smile faded somewhat as she turned to Ford. “Er, um… Stanford? I, uh… well I just wanted to say… thank you. Things have been rather… difficult for me lately, but… your offer to pick up our old past time again gave me a much-needed distraction and a reminder of how much fun we used to have together back in the day. I have to admit… I missed this.”

“As did I,” Ford returned her warm grin with complete sincerity. “By the way… I’ve heard about… what happened between you and Garnet. And if there’s anything I can do to help, anything at all, then please, don’t hesitate to ask.”

The white Gem sighed somewhat sadly at this, wrapping her arms around herself as she looked down briefly. “I’m not sure if there’s anything anyone can do but… I appreciate the thought.”

“Uh, hey, Pearl?” Dipper cut in after this exchange, somewhat hesitant as he averted his teacher’s gaze. “I’m, uh… sorry about the Ancient Sea Blade. I know I promised I’d be carefully with it, but I guess I was kinda reckless back at the shack, and I did what you always tell me not to do in a fight and I acted too quickly and… well, you saw what happened to it…”

“Oh, Dipper,” Pearl laughed once more, her tone gentle and reassuring as she placed a hand on her young pupil’s shoulder. “I’m not angry about the Ancient Sea Blade. I’m just that you’re safe. And that you managed to fend off those ogres as skillfully as you did.”

“Well, I learned from the best,” Dipper shrugged, glad that the white Gem didn’t take the loss of her sword harshly whatsoever.

“You certainly did,” Pearl smiled proudly. “Though of course, this means we’ll have to outfit you with a new sword at some point, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, right?”

Dipper happily nodded in agreement with this, though unbeknownst to him or Pearl, Ford was already busy at work pondering on what the white Gem had just said. “A new sword…” the author muttered to himself, an idea striking him as he thought of what would be an excellent way to show his nephew his genuine appreciation.

“Y’know…” Stan began somewhat sheepishly as he garnished his nephew’s attention next. “I’m sorry to you too, kiddo, for making fun of your game. Sure, it might be too nerdy for me, but its just the right amount of nerdy for you and my brother. And Pearl, I guess, but we all already knew she was a huge nerd.”

“Oh wow, thank you, Stan,” Pearl deadpanned, though all the same, she had a smile on her face.

“Anyway,” the conman continued after sending the white Gem a brief cursory look. “If you wanna hang out with Ford sometimes, I won’t get in your way.”

“Actually, after all that, I think I could use a little mindless fun,” Dipper remarked with a small laugh, more than ready to rest after such a harrowing adventure.

“Guys! We can still watch the second showing of the Dogcopter/Ducktective crossover!” Grenda interjected boisterously. “It’s not too late! Now let’s GO!”

Sure enough, everyone made it back to the Mystery Shack just in time to catch the start of the crossover’s second airing. Steven, Mabel, Grenda, Dipper, Stan, and Soos all crowded into the den, disregarding the hole still present in the wall as they watched Ducktective and Dogcopter get into a heated argument as the third act of the special began.

“Oh no! Dogcopter and Ducktective shouldn’t fight!” Steven cried fretfully as he watched the animals’ subtitled quarrel. “They were getting along so well, what happened?!”

“The usual late in the game misunderstanding,” Soos shook his head disapprovingly. “Ya see it all the time in just about everything these days.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe they’d do something so cliché and predictable!” Mabel huffed, unwittingly spilling her snacks all over Stan’s lap. “We waited so long for this?!”

“What a rip off!” Grenda exclaimed, far from pleased.

“Seriously, what kinda two-bit hack wrote this junk?” Stan asked, though even despite the collective anger in the room, they all still watched the rest of the special intently, all of them secretly curious to see where it might lead.

Later that evening, after the thoughts of insane mathematical wizards and zany animal crossovers had been put to rest, Dipper ended up finding himself down in the basement lab once more as per Ford’s request. While everyone else had been watching the crossover, the author had apparently been collaborating with Pearl on something, but whatever it was seemed to be a surprise that Ford didn’t reveal, at least not immediately. Instead, he greeted his nephew warmly and presented him with the infinity sided die once more before sealing it tight in its case and locking it away in one of the many compartments of the basement’s large glass cabinet.

“Well, this ought to be safe and sound now,” Ford concluded with a satisfied grin. “It’ll be here if you ever need it.”

“Really?” Dipper asked with a frown. “Even after it got us into that huge mess earlier?”

“Eh, we both got carried away,” the author remarked with a hint of warmth in his tone. “I guess we’d both gone a while without a friend.”

Dipper couldn’t help but smile upon hearing this, feeling genuinely grateful for the solidarity and camaraderie that had been unexpectedly given to him by none other than the author of the journals himself. In light of the apparent hints of distance he had been feeling between himself and Mabel and Steven as of late, he appreciated the chance to be in the company of someone who not only shared similar interests to him, but truly respected him for his intelligence and verve. And in the end, not only had he gotten what he had wanted in finding a place for himself under the author’s wizened wing, but he had managed to form a solid, comfortable bond with his newfound great uncle. A bond that he had no intentions of every trying to break any time soon.

“Speaking of which…” Ford continued after a beat of silence, a small, sly smile spreading across his face. “I must say I was quite impressed with your surprising ability with a blade that you demonstrated earlier.”

“Oh, w-well, its nothing,” Dipper remarked somewhat bashfully, not really liking to play up those aforementioned abilities too frequently. “I’m still sort of a beginner after all…”

“Well, from what Pearl told me, you’ve progressed marvelously,” the author said, now holding something he had retrieved from his desk behind his back. “Which is why I asked her to help me put a little… something together for you. And the result of our craftsmanship is something I think you just might like.” Ford could no longer contain his full smile as he held out what he had been hiding for his nephew to finally see. Even upon a first glance, Dipper let out a surprised gasp at the sight of the beautiful falchion sword laid across the author’s outstretched hands, its blade covered by a simple sheath as its hilt presented a comfortable-looking grip and a curvaceous, well-designed guard. Ford noticed his nephew’s hesitance in taking such an exquisite gift, which was why he let out a small chuckle before nodding him on ahead. “Go on, my boy, take it. It is yours after all.”

Dipper mostly let go of his hesitance at this, finally taking the sword and carefully unsheathing it to find that its sharp, metallic blade contained hints of intricate technology to it, with bright lines of circuitry running across it in neat, organized lines. “Whoa…” he mused, his eyes wide with amazement as he looked over it. “It’s… amazing…”

“It certainly is, and in more than just looks too,” Ford remarked proudly, his hands behind his back. “Do you see that small dial on the pommel?” He pointed to said dial, which was divided between four vibrant colors: red, blue, yellow, and green, with the first of those being the one it was apparently set on. “Press down on it and see what happens.”

Curious, Dipper did so, only to gasp in alarm as the circuitry on the sword suddenly lit up, the blade igniting itself in bright, hot flames. “W-whoa!” he exclaimed, holding the fiery sword far out from him. “I-is this supposed to be happening?!”

“Yes, it works exactly as intended!” Ford chimed as he reached to turn the knob to the next setting. As soon as he did, the fire quelled itself, the blade glowing blue as its heat was replaced with a bitterly cold aura of misty frost. “You could say that I was a bit inspired by our rather… fantastical adventure earlier today when designing this. Those ‘flamey swords’ Mabel came up with in particular helped me envision the direction I wanted to go in with this invention. As did Steven’s ‘electric skates’.” With another turn of the dial, the sword burst into bright yellow sparks, lightning cackling from it, but fortunately never leaving the immediate surface of the blade itself. Ford turned the dial one last time, shifting the sword’s color to green as a powerful gust of wind, almost akin to a controlled tornado, struck up around the blade before it ultimately dissipated into nothing as the author pressed the pommel again, shutting the sword down. “It was quite an interesting project to take on in such a short notice, but I think I did a rather exemplary job, if I do say so myself,” Ford continued brightly. “The modifications were entirely of my design, but I do have Pearl to thank for giving me the base sword, as well as thinking up a name for it: the Sword of Seasons. Fitting, isn’t it?”

“The Sword of Seasons…” Dipper repeated with a smile as he looked to his new blade with immense satisfaction before properly sheathing it. “Yes, it is. And thank you so much, Great Uncle Ford. This thing is seriously so cool!”

“Yes, well, I’m glad I could equip you with a new one after what happened today,” Ford said, still beaming. “And of course, I’m sure you’ll use it wisely, so it was more than worth the trouble.” A beat of warmth passed between the pair, one that the author felt was far too short lived as he took the smallest glance at the curtain-covered window behind him. Behind which were secrets that he knew he finally had to come clean about, at least to someone. “Dipper… can I tell you something?” he ventured, his manner turning serious, almost grave even.

“Y-yeah, of course,” Dipper nodded, noting the author’s sudden shift in behavior, his own shifting right along with it.

“You asked me what I was working on earlier. Well…” Ford began, hesitating for a moment before finally pulling back the curtain to reveal the portal on the other side of it. Or rather, what little now remained of it. “I dismantled the portal. To be honest, I should have done this from the very moment Rose told me to years ago… An interdimensional gateway is too dangerous for the world it feeds into. That’s why I was mad at Stan for using it. He saved me, but as I feared, the instability of the machine created this:” The author pulled out a small, spherical glass globe, its appearance fortified but rather unassuming. What was contained within the globe, however, was much more fascinating: a formless, shapeless cloud of what almost looked to be the radiant depths of space itself, swirling within its petite containment unit without any sort of rhyme or reason. It was in a state of constant change, its glow casting light throughout the dimly lit basement as it seemed to pulsate with an unknown power. A power that felt both intriguing and catastrophic all at once. “Its an interdimensional rift,” Ford explained, keeping his voice low as he held onto the base of the glob tightly. “I’ve contained it for now, but its incredibly dangerous, which means it must remain safe and secure and most of all, secret. Dipper, I don’t want you to tell anyone about this. Not Stan, not the Gems, not even your sister. Understand?”

For a moment, the most Dipper could do was remain silent in light of the incredibly heavy weight Ford had just unexpectedly put upon his shoulders. Sure enough, the author had let him in on an incredibly guarded secret, one that could, as far as he knew, put the town, maybe even the entire world at risk if not well kept. But to keep such a secret from those he trusted most, to hide something so monumental and so important from his family, his friends, his sister? If he was perfectly honest with himself, Dipper wasn’t sure if he could withstand that kind of pressure to uphold such a vow of untold silence. And yet… he knew that he would ultimately have to. The amount of genuine trust and reliance Ford was placing in him, to tell him and no one else, not even his old research partners, the Gems, about this rift could not be betrayed. In fact, Dipper refused to let himself betray that trust out of sheer conviction alone. It wasn’t a matter of trying to prove to the author that he could handle this; it was a matter of protecting this incredible important, incredibly fragile object before him. And as far as he knew, the only way he could really protect it, was to remain silent about it, just as Ford had said.

“I—uh, o-of course,” Dipper nodded a moment later, putting as much resolve into his tone as he could as he met the author’s expectant gaze squarely.

Ford nodded in acceptance at this, letting out a small sigh of relief as he pulled the rift a bit closer to him. “Thank you,” he said with genuine gratitude. “In my time, I’ve made many powerful enemies, but I trust you with this secret. Now, get to bed. I have much research to do. And as I said before, take care with that new sword of yours!”

“I will,” Dipper promised just as sincerely, gripping the Sword of Seasons tight to his chest as he turned to head back upstairs, as if it alone could protect the immense secret he had just sworn to keep. “Goodnight, Great Uncle Ford.”

“Goodnight, Dipper,” Ford called back with a warm smile, one that disappeared as soon as his nephew left the room. The author let out a tired sigh, looking down to the rift in his hands once again, its relative weightlessness seemingly making it feel all the more heavy in a way. He knew he ran a risk telling just about anyone at all about this dimensional tear that could just as easily rip its way through existence itself, but he firmly did believe that Dipper would keep this secret well. Just as he readily believed Rose could have if she were still around today, though Ford figured he’d just have to make to with whom he had.

So, the author put the rift away, tucking it safely back in its hidden place in the compartment at his desk, hoping to get some peace of mind with it put out of his sight. But even so, the rift continued radiating its hauntingly beautiful glow, its ever-shifting clusters of stars carrying the fate of existence itself upon them. An existence that could just as easily come to a violent, destructive end if it ever fell into the wrong hands…

Next: 

[shadowsfiguresfigments-blog]

A good place to die Chapter 4

Warning: harsh language, violence

I regained consciousness, and it sucked. My throat hurt badly, and my limbs felt like goo, but that didn’t suck as much as the fact that Pennywise had failed to end me.

It wasn’t just me who was unable to kill myself.

A coughing fit made my entire body twitch, and my eyes shot open. I was lying in a fetal position on the washing-machine platform, covered in even more rags. Penny must have tucked me in while I was unconscious. The light had diminished, but I could still see enough to realize that he was sitting on the low wall that surrounded the abyss from which he had crawled almost two and a half weeks ago. It must have still been during the day, but definitely later than when Penny attacked me.

I was still alive.

The clown turned his head towards me, his eyes a weird shade of silver.

“Wha-wha-what… ha-happened?” I was wheezing, and my voice sounded like sand paper.

“Why… am I… I still alive?”

The clown shrugged, the rustle around his neck continuing the movement even when he was sitting still again.

“You weren’t scared. You were happy. I can’t kill you when you are happy.”

I felt drained and disappointed.

“Why?”

“Don’t you think I’d like to know that too?”, the clown spat at me.

“Well, I’m sorry.”

I buried my head between my legs and arms, waiting for my breath to stabilize.

After a while I could feel something touch my hair. I looked up at the clown standing before me.

“Listen, I’m exhausted and you are probably too. I should better go home now. Auntie will be worried,” I murmured, slowly unfolding my body. “I am sorry for what happened. Seems like I’m not the only one who has trouble killing me.”

My joke fell on death ears.

“Anyway, thank you for your effort.” I caught myself feeling somewhat anxious about my next question. “Can I come back tomorrow?”

His eyes turned somewhat more yellow, and his puzzled look became mingled with suspicion.

“Why would you want to do that?”

I wasn’t so sure myself. “I guess I like it here?”

--------------------------------------------------------------

I was lying in bed, thinking about the last couple of hours. Of course auntie had made a horrible fuss when she saw the state of my body. I told her I had tripped with the bike because of the new potholes, but I was pretty sure she didn’t believe me. She knew perfectly well that my nice classmates liked to mess with my bike – after all she already had to borrow me money for new tires and breaks, and once even a new saddle. And my accident also couldn’t properly explain the ligature marks on my neck. But she didn’t ask again, and so I could flee to the dark safety of my bed, contemplating the events of the day.

Pennywise had brought me back to the entrance once more, his eyes glowing bright blue. We didn’t talk, but it wasn’t uncomfortable – more like a fatigue we both shared. He even helped me with the brake cables that had been dislodged. He hadn’t answered my question, though.

Obviously he perceived me as a threat, and I still had no idea why. The fact that I wasn’t scared of anything seemed to be part of the cause, but how this would actually affect him was beyond me. He said he fed on fear and bodies, yet he had let that kid go when I visited him. I briefly wondered if he had fed on somebody in the meantime, but there was no curfew in place nor had I heard of any missing kids at school. I tried to be horrified at the fact that I was befriending a monster, but I couldn’t. The only thing that had managed to penetrate the numbness was the slight spur of excitement I felt any time I went down into the sewers. Maybe I should have started taking my meds again.

Once again I found sleep evading me.

Instead my mind was wandering back to my childhood days here in Derry. My mom had given birth to me at the tender age of fourteen, and the guy who had abused me had married her at sixteen. He wasn’t my real dad, as far as I knew. I was punished for everything I did and didn’t do. He was very versatile - he used his fists, his belt, sticks and whatever else he could find. When I was seven he started groping me. I told mum, and she smacked me so hard I had bruises for ages. As a punishment I wasn’t allowed to eat dinner. Again.

The only brakes I got were when auntie came to visit. She always had a little present for me, which Dad would quickly dispose of as soon as she left. But at least I wouldn’t be hit, and I was allowed to eat my three meals.  Then the fateful day came.

It must have been about a week after I had wondered into the sewers for the first time. Dad and Mum fought again, but it was different this time. Soon they started hurling things at each other. I crawled beneath the table to shield myself from flying tableware, empty bottles and the occasional book. Then Dad reached into his boots, pulled something out and a big BOOM followed. Mum sank to the floor, blood spilling from between her fingers, and Dad stumbled backwards, the gun falling from his hand. Very slowly, he turned around and looked at me. He pulled the table away and yanked me up by my arms. His face was almost as white as the wallpaper as he picked up one of the knives lying on the floor. He raised it high above his head, but before he could plunge it into my chest, another BOOM shook the kitchen. Mum had crawled across the floor, leaving a bloody trail behind, picked up the gun and shot him square in the head.

It took fifteen minutes for the police to arrive. The medics, who arrived just seconds after them, said that I was in shock and wrapped me in blankets. Everything after was but a blur. Days faded into each other. I was constantly moved between facilities, doctors and therapists. It had taken me a long time to figure out what they expected from me. When I finally understood, auntie took me ‘home’ with her, back to Derry. I couldn’t complain, she was very attentive and genuinely concerned. But it didn’t change the fact that I only ever felt like a zombie.

Around 4 a.m. I finally drifted into a light slumber. For the first time in forever I had hazy dreams of silk against my throat, of ghosts and glowing eyes. When I woke up I was drenched in sweat.

Auntie had left a note for me. “Bee is coming over at 6 p.m. I’ll make dinner. Hope to see you there too.” I wrote back that I would come. Bee, as we called her, was a good friend of auntie, despite being almost twice her age. She was a beautiful lady, though her red hair had become considerably greyer in the last year and creases had appeared all over her face. She was kind and caring, which was rare in Derry, and she actually listened to what you would say. As I was ready to leave for school, the phone rang and a nurse informed me that Mr. Shanks would be released in two days and expected his shop to be clean and ready for business.

School was horrible.

Apparently my frequent trips to the barrens had stirred up some drama. Rumors about me banging half the school were flying about, and even girls who had never spoken to me before were hissing “bitch” under their breath when I passed. My locker had been picked and somebody had filled it with used condoms, empty liquor bottles and other nice gifts. Boys were whistling at me and remarking how uninteresting my bony figure was, but that they’d do me for five bucks and the like. The only pleasant surprise was the dismissal one hour early because of a conference.

I felt like a fugitive when I sped away on my bike, heading for the barrens as fast as I could. This time I was going to take my bike with me, because I had a feeling somebody might come looking for it. And the second I had turned around the first bend of the sewer tunnel, I heard voices echoing from the entrance.

“You saw her here?”

“I swear, she was here like ten seconds ago.”

“Stupid bitch.”

“Where’d she go?”

“No idea. You think she went in there?”

“Well, she probably would.”

“Shall we go looking?”

“Through all the dirt? You crazy? I’m wearing my new Gucci.”

I backed away slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible. Only after I had gone on for several minutes I dared to breathe  again.

When I finally reached the cistern I was a little unsure of how to proceed. For starters I parked my bike against the wall, and then called out softly: “Pennywise?” I almost expected to not receive an answer, but after a couple of heartbeats the clown appeared behind the nearest pile of junk.

“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”, I asked, the tiniest sensation of nervousness building in my belly.

He shook his head, and his bells jingled. “I wasn’t sure whether you would come back, little girl. Since I can’t help you.”

I smiled a little. This weird sensation had begun to come more easily to my face after the last couple of weeks. “It’s still better to hang out with you than stay at any place out there, so if you don’t mind too much…”

He studied me intensely, his eyes the weird in-between silverish shade that wasn’t quite blue and not quite yellow either. “I still don’t understand why you, as a human, would want to be here.”

I thought about that for a second. “Maybe it is because you aren’t put off by me the same way everyone else is. It’s quiet, and I don’t have to pretend to be something I’m not. And you were the first one to actually try to help me with what I really wanted. I know auntie means well and all, but she doesn’t understand me. I don’t think anyone can, really.”

He nodded, and I nestled into the rags on my usual spot. I had brought another book with me, a collection of short stories by Poe, and immersed myself into the beautiful flow of words that painted the most bizarre pictures in my mind. When I was just starving on the vast sea, contemplating the fact that I might have to consume human flesh to survive, a soft touch on my shoulders snapped me back into the twilight of the cavern.

Pennywise stood next to me, his big hand tentatively touching my shoulder. He looked like a little kid scared of dogs and being forced to stroke one.

“Would you read to me?”

I was caught off guard. He hadn’t complained before when I read out loud, but that he’d actually ask for it surprised me very much.

“Uhm, sure, if you want to…”

And with that the big clown sat down at the foot of the pile of junk, facing away from me, his head so close that my feet almost touched his hair.

I quickly skimmed through the book, wanting to read a story from the very beginning, and ultimately stopped at ‘William Wilson’, one of my favorites. As I started reading out lout, the clown let out the smallest of sighs.

 I snapped the book close with too much force, and the sound echoed through the abruptly quiet cavern. A quick glance at my watch told me it was time to go home, or I would be late for Bee.

“I’ll have to go, a friend is coming for dinner”, I explained as I slid down from my seat.

Pennywise turned his face towards me, his expression as confusing to me as ever. His eyes shone in the most profound blue I had ever seen.

“So, uhm… See you tomorrow?”

He blinked, but didn’t move otherwise. I smiled at him tentatively, before I made my way back to the tunnel. Apparently I would have to find my way back on my own this time.

[ajokeformur-ray]

Matchup Request

Hi! May I have a ship for Game of Thrones, lovely? If you’re not okay with that, Black Butler is fine too. Im a 5'2" bisexual girl (male preference) with a wild, honey tipped afro and curvacious figure who rarely wears pants. I love vintage dresses, green tea, napping for 18 hours a day, astrology, biology, anatomy, reading, history, and writing short stories. I dislike outside, crowds, and have an unhealthy hatred for celery. My foremost talent is my hard work ethic. I get so wrapped up in my passions that I often forget to eat in favor of continuation, though, which has made me fairly frail. Im also talented at communicating with people. Im on the Debate team and adore Model UN. Politics and law are so intriguing! I love food, too. Cooking/baking is always fun. Im constantly bringing my SO brownies and cakes. When I remember to eat, I pig out.

Personality wise, I’m friendly and intelligent. My mom left when I was young and I had to pick up the slack. This caused me to mature quickly. Unfortunately, I’m also afraid of being abandoned again and have problems with self worth. If the person put on this earth to love me didn’t, who could? I push myself to perfectionism in turn. I want to validate my existence. When I fail, which is inevitable, I punish myself way too harshly to the point of suicidal tendencies.

In romantic relationships, Im the clingy sort. I try to spend time with my SO whenever feasible and shower them with gifts and attention. Im also a fan of PDA. Im always touching them to some regard and adore cuddles and kisses. I even sleep with my current BF’s T-shirt while he’s on the phone . Im pathetic in this regard. Im also direct and open. I couldnt be with someone who can’t communicate. I have a high sex drive which surprises everyone.

Currently I’m an 18 year old university honors student majoring in Nursing. I intend on becoming a Forensic Nurse Practitioner. Justice is important to me, but I also want to save lives; lives that can go forth to change the world in more ways than I think possible. I intend on publishing a few books until then (I already have essays published!). I also dream of someday seeing my mother again, and showing her how successful the child she abandoned has become. I’ll work my damndest.

That’s about all! Im sorry about how much I wrote. I figure the more, the better. Id also like to return the favor to you! Would you like a matchup? You’re doing such a great job here, and I’d like to treat you. I could also try my hand at an imagine or drabble. Thank you in advance, darling, and have a wonderous day! You deserve it.

I know exactly who to match you with! Oh yeah, the more I get the better and more detailed your matchup will be! Oh wow, my goodness thank you so very much! If you wouldn’t mind, I’d love a matchup - it’d be nice to receive one [not that I’m complaining, I love writing matchups!] Shall I DM you? You’re so very welcome, and thank you once again. I hope you enjoy your matchup.

Robb Stark

- I think one of your most admirable traits in Robb’s eyes is just how hard you work. Your skills in debating, holding your own against others’ viewpoints and your communication skills would make you a valuable asset to Robb’s small council team, and he invites you along to each meeting. He greatly values everything you have to say and often takes any advice you have with more weight than he does other peoples’. Not because he favours you in that sense, but because he trusts you implicitly. Funnily enough, your advice often works fabulously. He would take it upon himself to instruct one or two of his men to bring you green tea and food every two to three hours - something small, but substantial and eough to keep you ticking over. If you don’t eat it, fair enough, you chose not to. But he’d definitely remind you often to take care of yourself and eat. Your love of reading and history greatly amuses him and he sometimes calls for people to bring you new parchments, and quills to write with. He gets you books from Winterfell’s library and lets you read them as and when you want, at your leisure. When you pig out, he brings you a ton of food that he’s ‘stolen’ from the kitchens and simply watches you, concerned by hoe you forget but happy that you’re eating. Robb’s also known for stealing any celery or other hated foods off your plate - to ‘rescue’ you from that which you dislike.

- Robb would listen to your story about your mum with a stony face. He’s non-judgemental and very understanding. He’d tell you that he has no desire to abandon you and that to do so would be an injustice to the both of you. He admires your intellect and is one of your greatest supporters in everything you set out to do. He would always, always tell you that failure is only failure if you refuse to get back up and try again - you haven’t failed because you still tried, you still did whatever it is that you set out to do. These words would be accompanied by Dire Wolf cuddles and a lot of love. Robb is very loyal, loyal to a fault, so through time he would hope that you come to be secure in your relationship with him. He’d be patient and caring the whole time and wouldn’t take anything out of you, even when his strategies aren’t playing out on the battlefield. Robb’s the eldest of many siblings so he’s almost a natural at comforting you now, and he does it without asking or thinking... He sees you’re anxious, worried or scared and he’s there with open arms and listening ears.

- Robb isn’t clingy, as such, but he does appreciate the unwavering presence of his s/o, especially when they make the effort to be with him as often as they can be. He would acccept each gift with an affectionate smile and a hug. If you’re into the NSFW side of things, then he’d show his appreciation that way, too. He doesn’t get much free time from planning a war, so every second he can grab with you is highly valued, appreciated and certainly not wasted. PDA is definitely something that he enjoys, though his kisses are really heated in private. When he’s away and you’re sleeping in one of his shirts, he comes back with a grin and an almost possessive wave comes over him, though he pushes it to the side because you’re sleeping and he’s loathe to wake you. Again, there is room for NSFW stuff here if you’re into that. Robb is quite straightforward in what he says - if he doesn’t like something, he’ll tell you. If he does, he’ll tell you. He doesn’t play games - just open and honest. 

- He completely admires, respects and trusts you. He wants to see you succeed and he’ll succeed alongside you. He’s always so proud of you and he tells you this without hesitation. Your relationship would be filled with love, hugs, cuddles, kisses, PDA, quiet and candid conversations that bleed into the early hours of the morning. He showers you with gifts, tea, food, affection and books. If we’re to translate your Nursing degree into Westeros terms, you’d likely be training to be a Maester, a very rewarding but arduous career. On the days that your dreams become truth - he’s right beside you, teary-eyed with pride.

[ficdirectory]

Disuphere (An AU Fosters family fic) Chapter 54

CHAPTER 54

Jesus is neck deep in Christmas prep for the fam, with a note on the wall outside his room which totally forbade peeking through the beads.  He has plans to attack the railing and stairs project sooner rather than later.  He’s been thinking about asking if Mike will help.  Mike’s the only one who knows about how to do home improvement stuff.  (All the YouTube videos Jesus could find were totally confusing.)

Historically, Christmas had totally sucked for him.  He couldn’t do the classic holiday tunes at all because they made his anxiety spike so much.  He didn’t do well with all the boxes that came with holidays involving gifts, all because of being trapped some way in His house all on his own.  He always had boxes all over.  And He left the radio on playing Christmas music just to make Jesus extra bummed.

The first Christmas he was home for had sucked extra because Jesus hadn’t known those things would be triggers until he found himself in a mess of boxes and wrapping paper on the floor, with Christmas music hurting his ears.  By then (after two months at home with just Moms) Jesus knew what to do when he was feeling overwhelmed.  Rather than screaming and fighting and making everybody around him feel unsafe, too, Jesus had booked it to his room.  He had found his headphones, and burrowed under all his blankets, and obsessed about all of his food and water, wondering if it was still there until Moms could help him figure out what the hell was wrong, and reassure him that the boxes were cleaned up and the Christmas music wasn’t playing anymore.

It’s still weird to think that this would be his fourth Christmas home. Over the years, they’d adapted all kinds of stuff for him, but all these years later, it still made him nervous.  Even though Moms had just talked to him about it, he was still weirdly hyper about where her handcuffs were and if she ever would use them in the house, on him.  She was good at reassuring him, but some days, Jesus needed it on a loop 24/7 in his head, so he could know it was still true.

Jesus is trying to work on Jude’s gift when his phone vibrates next to him with a text.  His heart trips in his chest as he looks at it:

Fireworks.  From Mariana.

Immediately, Jesus is shoving all evidence of Christmas prep under his blankets and texts her back:

Where R U?

He’s on his feet, when he realizes he can totally hear Mari’s phone chime with his text.  She’s in the bathroom.

Jesus taps on the closed door, taking a deep breath to be sure he’s calmish before he attempts to help Mariana.

“It’s me,” is all he says. She’ll open the door if she wants.  When she’s ready.  “I’m right here, okay?”

Slowly the door opens.  Mariana’s there.  Pale.  Breathing too fast.  Cradling her stomach.

He just looks at her, questions in his eyes.  Then sees a paper clutched in her hand.

“You said I’m the reason…” she gasps, eyes shining with unshed tears.  “I’m the reason that you got away.”

“You are,” he says, honest even now.  Because honesty’s their thing.  “Here.  Sit down,” he urges.  “Get your breath.  Like you always tell me, right?  You wanna hold hands?”

She grabs on and squeezes hard.  Tries to breathe.  He tries to slow her down.  Wonders what happened to freak her out this much.  Did she just find the letter?  Just read it?

Jesus breathes super deliberately. Slow and deep.  “Can you match me?”

And she does try.  So hard.  Tears roll down her face.  She’s gasping.  Jesus feels anxiety grip him, but he has to keep it together for her.  She is so calm for him.  It’s probably exactly what she needs.  People help in the way they want to be helped, he knows.

“I’m the reason…” she manages.  “It’s my fault you left!  It’s my fault He got you!”

She is nearly inconsolable now and Jesus swears his heart stops for a couple beats.

“What?” he breathes.

“That Day...I told you to go home if you were sick, and then I didn’t tell anyone about it.  We could have found you sooner if I had told…  If I hadn’t told you to go…”

(The memory is fuzzy, but it’s there: his class and Mariana’s passing in the hall.  The lines stalling out for some reason so that he and Mari were beside each other, each facing the opposite direction:

“What’s wrong with you?” Mariana had asked, making a face.

“I don’t feel good,” he’d complained softly, so the teachers did not overhear.

“You should go home if you’re sick,” Mariana had said, just before the lines started moving again.)

Jesus needs time to process this, but there just is no time.  Whatever she said or didn’t say, she was just a kid like him Then.  She needs to know the real truth:

“Mariana…” he says, and the words won’t come, so he wraps his arms around her and holds on tight.  She is sobbing.  Shaking.

“What happened to me was not your fault.  Ever.  No matter what you did or didn’t do,” he whispers into her hair.  “We are not responsible for His choices.  I got in That Car, right?  I trusted Him.  Do you blame me?”  

He can feel her shake her head against his shoulder.

Remembers Mom’s words from his anniversary two months back, about needing to connect to him so her words would go to his heart better.  Jesus eases her back, Mariana’s face between his hands.  His eyes are shining with sympathy tears and his throat sticks with a million emotions, but Mariana has to know this.  So, he looks her in the eyes, and forces himself to say the words:

“I don’t blame you,” he tells her.  

She’s holding his wrists, grounding him as much as he is grounding her.  But the words are too much for her to take and she looks away. So he takes her in his arms again.  Holds her.  Rocks back and forth.  Like that long hug Mama gave him when he really needed it.  Jesus lets her cry.  Sure, it makes him choke up, because like Mari said, when he hurt so did she.  The same was true vice versa.

It takes a long time for her to calm down.  Everybody in the family has come by to check on them, and each time Jesus shakes his head, glad Mari is mostly obscured from them, sitting in the bathroom while he sits entirely in his room.  But when Frankie sticks her whole head through the beads to “check in,” Jesus scoots forward until they are both in the bathroom.

The far door is closed and locked.  If this door closest to them stays open, it will offer them privacy, and Jesus a way out, should he need it.

“Sorry, we kinda had an audience…” he apologizes.

Mariana half-laughs and half-sobs.  “It’s okay,” she manages.  (She is still hanging onto him, and Jesus still feels okay.  It’s the longest he’s been able to go without calling Time.  It makes sense that this victory would come with Mariana - he has always trusted her the most - even when he didn’t know how to talk to her.)

“Did you just read my letter from last week?” he asks gently.

“Maybe,” she admits, he head still resting on his shoulder.  “At first I didn’t see it, and then I didn’t want to...finally, I just did it, you know?  Read it.  And this happened.”

“‘Cause it was a lot,” Jesus insists softly.  “I just wanted you to know that I didn’t forget you.  I’m sorry if I made things harder.  ...Is this why your stomach hurts all the time?  You were blaming yourself?”

Mariana nods and swallows.  “For a while...a long time...I kept it so buried that I didn’t even get why.  But then you called it guilt gut, and, I don’t know.  That made sense, I guess.”

“You were just a kid, Mari, and you were scared, I bet, right?  I bet you thought you’d be in trouble.”

“I did…” Mariana admits, finally sitting back to look at him.

“Yeah…” Jesus nods.  “I did, too.”

Standing, he takes Mari’s hand and leads her into his room.

“What are we doing?” she asks, drying her eyes.

“I wanna show you something.  Don’t look under those.  Christmas stuff,” he gestures to the pile of blankets with a foot.

“I won’t,” she promises softly.

When he goes to the closet, she comes, too.  When Jesus opens it, and gets down on his knees to look through the mess there, so does Mariana.

Finally, he finds it, letting go of her hand.  His sixth grade journal, which he had never shared with anyone.  Jesus turns the pages until he finds it.  The entry he is looking for.  He rips it out and hands it to her.

She is silent, reading.  Jesus has it all committed to memory.  Can recite it word for word in his head:

Short story #2 Sunday October 11, 2009

Once their was a girl named Mariana.  She was eleven years old.  She had a hard life but soon some nice people saved her and let her live with them and be there little girl forever.  She loves princesses and Bell is her favorite princess.  She has brown hair and brown eyes and the best smile.  I think she feels lonely sometimes.  I think she misses her brother.  He got turned invisible so he is still with her but she cant see him at all.  Some times she dreams about him, but he never dreams of anything.  One day he hopes they can be together again.  The End.

“This was two years before you got away…” she says, breathless.  “You wrote about me?”

He answers her question with one of his own:

“Did you know I was always with you?”

Pause.  She swallows.  Meets his eyes.  Answers.

“I do.  Now, I do.”