#I normally hate sunshine and won't let it shine on me but now...

[nei-ning]

I put myself an alarm last night to wake up today at 1pm so that I can lit candles to Verti's memory at 1:20pm the latest since that's the time when he passed. I woke up, tearing up some as I prepared the candles.

Weather outside bright but still cloudy more or less. No rain or anything, weather cast has not even promised rain plus our weather casts sucks. And yet, exactly at the 1:20pm just before I'm starting to lit up the candles, whole sky tears open and rain starts to POUR down with HUGE drops!

From 5 to 10 minutes later, it all STOPS as suddenly as it started! No clouds or anything and sun is starting to shine on me!

Either Heaven was crying for Verti, too, or it was a sign from Verti that he misses me as well.

[shibalen]

Idk if you do hc/scenarios or not but if you do, could you write tanjiro, Giyuu or maybe jae ha with a female reader who’s insecure? Lately I’ve been feeling insecure and disgusted by myself and i feel like I don’t fit in society’s standards at all. Sorry

hi, i don't usually do hcs or scenarios outside matchups cause they're not something i feel confident writng ^^; (only done them once before on this blog) but if there's a chance they will help you feel better, i'm willing to give it a go. sending all my love and support ♡︎

♡︎ 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒎! 𝒔/𝒐

characters: Kamado Tanjirō, Jae-Ha

𝑲𝑨𝑴𝑨𝑫𝑶 𝑻𝑨𝑵𝑱𝑰𝑹𝑶

Tanjirō is very intuitive when it comes to sensing the emotions of those around him, so he learns about about your discomfort early on in your relationship, likely even before you get together.

he is also quick to act. this ray of sunshine will encourage you to talk to him about your insecurities so he would know how to give you the best possible support !!

although it devastates and angers him the standards of society have made you feel this way about yourself, it also fuels him to help restore your confidence.

believe me, if he could, Tanjirō would wipe these ridiculous standards off the face of the planet. he would fistfight god for your happiness.

alas, that is not possible. so instead he becomes the most supportive boyfriend ever.

with your consent, there will be tons of physical affection. he will hug you, hold you, give you headpats, kiss the parts of your body you yourself dislike ♡

and for every bad thing you have to say about yourself, Tanjirō has a dozen good things to counter it with.

you might point out a flaw in your apperance or personality and he will instantly list why he loves those same things about you.

he says them in a light, gentle voice as you lay on the futon or stride through a village—in murmurs, musings and whispers which echo in your mind when intrusive thoughts begin to take over.

make no mistake however, he can and will aggressively lecture anyone who dares speak ill of you. should that not make them stop he will make sure even Shinobu's medicine won't help the poor soul.

best boy never loses his patience with you. you can rant to him about things you've talked about plenty of times in the past and he will nod in understanding.

gushes over how amazing you are at what you're currently learning or doing as a hobby !! watches you starry-eyed and goes woah~ waaahh!! oooh :0 could you teach me too? then tells Zenitsu and Inosuke about it which in turn get them excited too.

Tanjirō's determination and love for you are just as indestructible as his forehead. so do not think for a moment he will leave your side >:( while you're on the journey of learning how to love yourself again, he will love you for the both of you in meantime.

𝑱𝑨𝑬-𝑯𝑨

Jae-Ha has also had moments in his life where thought of himself as an outcast, a freak.

the way he had been chained to the earth because of his powers when he was young, how could he have not had times when he hated himself and wished he could've just been 'normal'.

yet over time he learnt it was fear that blinded the people around him. he was different. having the blood of the green dragon wasn't something he could change, but it made him powerful enough to be wrongfully imprisoned.

now, as he sees the way you try to make yourself look smaller and refrain from letting your passions shine, Jae-Ha catches a glimpse of his past self in you.

like with Tanjirō, you will be showered with (even more) affection. however, he is a bit more subtle about it because he doesn't want to overwhelm you.

you get a lot of compliments on daily basis. i know it doesn't sound like much from Jae-Ha cause he flirts with you all the time anyway lol, but the things he says become more and more meaningful.

he points out the little things you do that he adores, and has that admiring glaze over his eyes even as he just watches you do the things you love. it may not sound like anything special to you but Jae-Ha prides himself on his fine tastes.

he knows how to appreciate all things beautiful ♡

omg this man is so naturally touchy you always have an arm around your waist, a hand on your shoulders or his hand holding yours.

obviously big on kisses too because he just cannot resist you :0 almost always asks for your permission first (sometimes he just gets lost in the moment and can't help himself)

he will tightly wrap his arms around you and playfully whine: "why do you care about what others think when you have me?"

it's his goal to help you realise you are not a mistake. yes, you may have flaws and quirks but they're all there to make you more charming, more unique.

he tells you you will achieve everything you want in life because of who you are. you don't owe these social standards anything, so focus on your own happiness.

you being the way you are was what made Jae-Ha fall in love with you !! he wouldn't have you change for all the riches and world peace in the universe.

i wasn't sure what type of insecurity you meant so i tried including physical and psychological. i hope this helped a little !! ♡︎

[darketernity]

Summer Love:

You were my summer love.

We met each other in the hottness of the shining sun.

We got to know each other while the temperature was increasing like crazy.

And we loved each other with sweaty palms and faces.

Then the temperature fell.

The last hot day, was like our climax of love.

And after that, the love faded.

The love faded like the summer faded to make space for autumn.

But not everyone likes autumn.

Tbh i never really liked autumn. Sure it has beautiful sides, like those golden autumn days, where the sun is shining, the sky is blue, the leafs are red and golden and the air is clear.

But those days are not the normal standard.

Autumn is mainly rain, and coldness, leafs laying around all over the streets in a dirty, dark brown colour, the sky is grey and it starts to get dark so early already.

Autumn always makes me feel a little trapped. Like i can't go out anymore, like I used to do. I can't wear all those beautiful summer clothes and always have to go out with a jacket on.

You can't sit outside anymore for a smoke.

You can't meet up with your friends at a lake or in a park.

Autumn makes my depression rise up.

And like the summer left to make space for autumn, you left to create a space next to me and inside of my heart again. And there are no golden autumn days in between, only those dark, cold, wet days where the rain is pouring outside and also on the inside of my heart.

I feel like all of these beautiful things already happened years ago, and not two months ago. It all feels so fucking unreal, that we ever were this happy with each other.

It feels like a dream or a lie, that I ever was safely laying in your arms and felt nothing except for love and happiness.

Were those Momente even real? Idk what you thought in those moments but I'm not so sure anymore if the feelings I felt were mutually also felt by you.

At summer everything always feels so easy. So warm and bright. As soon as autumn comes everything turns out cold and dark and heavy.

Love turns into confusion, a smile turns into an ocean of tears, happiness turns into pain and sureness into a questionable, painful, destroying glimpse of hope.

Autumn makes everything seem so much more difficult than it seems in summer.

And I will always associate his smile with summer.

He was summer for me.

His smile was bright like the dazzling sun, his hair, his warm hugs, his hot body, his smell, everything remided me of the hot summer days and the sweaty summer nights.

He was my summer, my feeling of freedom and happiness.

But like the seasons, he also left when the time was ready.

After summer comes autumn, after autumn comes winter and so the circle goes on and on every single year.

Actually the only difference between him and summer, is exactly that point.

Summer will return sooner or later, hotter or colder, more or less sunny. But it will return next year.

He won't. I can't wait for him to return, because that will never happen.

Even though I wished he would.

Even if it would only be for the next summer again. But at least for a few weeks, I would like to have my summer back, my personal, warm, beautiful summer.

But he will not return.

Summer will.

And like every summer is different from the summer before, like every day is different from all the other days that were and will happen, maybe I will also find another person.

Another person, who can give me the feeling of summer but in a different way. In a long lasting and relaxing way. In a way where I don't have to cry tears anymore and don't have to fear the following autumn.

But tbh right now. I loved this summer. Even if I hate the autumn that followed and that I'm still stuck in right now.

And I don't want another summer to follow. I know that's stupid and I know someday I will think different about all this but in this exact moment I still hang on this summer, I cling to it with all of my strength because I'm not ready to let go yet. Because I still loved this summer and I'm not ready yet to think about the next that will come.

I guess at a certain point you just had the best summer of your life and no other ever will outdo the memories you made in this one.

At this moment I believe that he was my best summer. Maybe someday in the future I will think different about all this. Maybe when I got through this autumn of depression and tears and the white, clear winter comes, I will feel different about this summer and about him.

Freed from those capturing, chaotic thoughts about why he left me as soon as the temperature fell and the leafs turned slightly yellow. Why the summer ended with this fucking disturbing heartbreak I have to go through right now. Why the sun in his eyes and in his smile stopped shining for me and left me restless, with dark clouds and rain inside of my heart.

You were my summer love.

And like summer ends with the beginning of autumn, our love ended. Suddenly.

Like one day, it was still dazzling hot and the next you could already feel that the air was changing, that the air grew colder, even if the sun was still shining warmly.

You could feel the chill in your bones and you just knew, that summer was over.

But for as long as it is still warm, you pretend it isn't. You still go outside, try to enjoy every last ray of warm sunshine. Like I tried to do with our love. I knew something changed, I knew that this warm summer was over. But I ignored it, I tried to enjoy the last little pieces of the love I thought you still gave me, tried to satisfy myself with it. Until everything was gone. Until autumn finally took over the whole place. Until there was nothing left of the summer, nothing left to feel, nothing left to see of this hot summer love.

And now it's autumn.

And autumn brings no love. Autumn gives me hopeless thoughts and tearfull eyes.

Autumn broke me.

Autumn brought me back to reality.

Autumn made my summer love end.

Like summer ends with the beginning of autumn.

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Salt and vinegar

First of all, thanks to everyone who read my first attempt at the first person writing, I always struggled with that.

I must say I didn't plan to write a second part to Cakes and accidents because I am a sucker for one shots with open endings, but I actually had a clear idea in my head about how it should continue, and I found a spark of inspiration so here is the part II.

And thanks to @tholland96 @jillanaholland for commenting.

Also part of the inspiration came from this interview in case you want to check it out.

Tom Holland x reader

One shot

Warnings: Fluff, cursing, poor table manners.

The message was bright and clear in your cellphone screen, but still you had to look at ti three more times to make sure what it says, and once the idea had sink in your head you tossed the device away in the laundry basket you were supposed to do that night as if it had somehow offended you. That wasn't real, it was a cruel joke of destiny that Tom Holland, actually Stanley, said the voice in your head, invited you to have dinner with him.

And of course you didn't want to read much into it, you have been talking in an amicable way for the last three days and he was probably trying to be friendly with you. But if you had to sit next to that charming smile and those breathtaking eyes that make you smile like an idiot just by thinking about them, for more than 20 minutes you will end up making an awkward mess of yourself and he would probably feel uncomfortable and would run away scared.

You pick up the phone and ignore the text to call your sister, she may be younger but the list of broken hearts in her past made her the perfect person to give advice, and since it was almost 8 at night she may be free in her new home all those mile away.

"Well he clearly enjoys your company" The voice of your sister told you in the phone after you briefly summarize how you meet him "Y/N why are you doing this? This Holland guy is clearly interested in you, what the hell if he said is name is Stanley or Lucas or Wenceslaus" She made a pause to let you laugh, she always did that, even when she was angry, making jokes was a second nature for Y/S/N "If anything it only means he wants to have a more normal discret experience as a young adult, and trust me it that is hard to find, you should see the blokes out here, they feel like just because they have a couple thousands followers in IG I should be kissing the floor they walk on"

"I suppose you are right, but I haven't done this in so long what if I mess it up?" You said with a voice a little more desperate than you hoped for.

"Then at least you have had dinner with a handsome lad, and you will move on. Look you are not sure if this is a date right? Then take it that way just two friends eating, a normal conversation, maybe a beer and please big sister put on a bloody dress" she said before you start lecturing her on how little you cared for gender specific clothes and she talked some more about her new school. By the time you hung up it was 9:00 and you sent the answer to his text.

Sorry, busy doing laundry. Sure mate! 6 works for you?

"Oh Y/N why did you say mate?" You asked yourself outloud, you really were bad at this.

And here I am, being useless. You are such an adult. 6 works perfect, I'll pick you. Sweet dreams mate! 😉

His text came in within minutes and you let go a relief sigh, before start thinking about what you should wear, but Y/S/N was right, you had to take it as calm as you could, and he was in fact a charming friend, worst case scenario you still were going to have dinner with Tom Holland, that couldn't be bad, and with that in mind you finally went downstairs to do the bloody laundry.

"Looking good Bristol" he said once you open the door at exactly 6:00 pm the next day. "Good thing Tessa is not coming today, will be a shame to get grass and dirt on that dress" he add pointing down to the skirt of the flowy summer dress you finally picked, looking at you for one second to long. So maybe it is a date your mind said happy.

"Oh that's too bad, I actually got her something" You said picking out something from your purse "So she won't be out there chasing innocent british pastries" You said giving him a chocolate cake plush toy. And following him out to his car.

"This is adorable" He said again smiling with his whole body, and you wonder again how does he do that? "Sorry I forgot to tell you to don't posh up, I'm actually just coming out of the gym" Actually never mind. Your mind told you since he was wearing again a simple black tshirt and dark blue jeans, and then you could notice his hair was wet, he probably had just taken a shower ... don't go there. "And I'm actually starving, chips sound good?"

"Sure, I actually didn't like the ones in Bristol so it would be nice to eat them here." Yo said trying to shake your thoughts away from the danger zone and putting on the seatbelt "Isn't it late for being at the gym? I hope you are not an excercise addict"

"I don't think I am" he said with a little laugh "But what do you think is this too much" He said with an obvious pretend innocence flexing up his arms making the tshirt rise on his abs. That's obscene sir, sorry girl you are on your own. Said your inner voice shutting down all logical thinking

"No, you look quite... healthy" You said finally looking to the left, never finding a review mirror so interesting.

"Good I would hate to be too big" he said and you could hear the amusement in his voice, and somehow the fact that he was aware of your obvious crush on him make you confident enough to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

"Obviously, period pieces never look good on beefcakes and you can't be spiderman forever" you said casually and he turn at you a bit astonished.

"When did you knew?" He said and thankfully his tone was not anger nor embarrassment just genuine curiosity "And I would love to do a period piece, what about Heathcliff ?"

"Well I don't believe there is many Staffordshire bull terriers around named Tessa" You started "But I actually recognized you when I saw you" You finally confess, feeling the pressure lifting off your shoulders "But I thought since you were not comfortable giving out your own name it wasn't my place to say anything. And Heathcliff is overrated Linton on the other hand is more of a challenge"

"Oh don't be so harsh on yourself, I didn't mind giving my name or not, it just seemed something funny to do at the time, and Tom or Stanley I actually enjoyed talking to you" He said while he found a place to park. "Do you mind walking from here? Is a nice place but doesn't have and actual car park".

"Not at all, as long is not more than 5 blocks, I am getting hungry" you said with a smile while he maneuver to park his Audi.

"O'Neill's Kingston upon Thames" He said once you were both on the ground and he once again offered you his arm "Have you ever been there? Great food"

"I actually never been there, but sounds fine, let's go" you said gladly taking his arm and walking by his side and a couple blocks later you were finally at the Irish Pub.

"A pint of Guinness and cod and chips" He said returning the menu to the waiter.

"And the lady?" He asked while you struggle to not take forever to decide what you wanted, an old bad habit that your mother have tried to change constantly.

"The Bacon cheese chips and a pint for me as well" you said finally putting the menu away.

"My kind of girl" He said and winked at you, clearly not realizing that your legs will stop working because of it "So when do you go back to bristol?" He asked and that honest interest encouraged you to speak.

"By mid September, my mother is actually about to toss my train ticket in the trash since I didn't came back for spring vacations, but I had so much work that I couldn't."

"I totally get it, whenever I'm away my dad makes such a big deal about it" he said letting go a little laugh "I mean is not the same since I didn't go to college but is sweet"

"Oh but you cross the Atlantic, they have reasons to be worried. I'm just one train away" you said and a small spark of pride shine in his eyes, was he self conscious about you being in college? No that was ridiculous. "Anyway I actually needed this, my friends from uni are in their houses and my friends from high school are too happy with their boyfriends and girlfriends to hang out with me." There I'm a loser now we are even.

"And your sister is gone, been there. I have the feeling Harry is going to break up with me when he gets a real girlfriend" he said and make you laugh, a bit louder and more nasal than you wanted.

"That's some laugh" he said laughing too but instead of making you shut up or get embarrassed you laughed louder causing the waiter to look at both of you like you were crazy while holding your food.

"Yours is no better sunshine" Yo said finally and giving a I'm so sorry look at the guy that kept looking at you and he finally put your food on the table. "This looks delicious" You said taking out one of the chips making a cheese string to extend from the hot plate.

"That's like too much cheese" He said making a funny disgusted face, and then proceeded to add more vinegar and salt to his chips.

"And that's like too much vinegar" You teased back at him, and then taking a big sip of the Guinness.

"No darling, this is too much vinegar" He said taking one of the complementary pickled eggs on de table and giving it a big bite.

"That's actually fucking disgusting..." you started but ironically and unplanned you were betrayed mid sentence by the beer and a loud and horrifying burp came out of your mouth, and the shame and the look on other people faces made you want to be swollen by the floor "Oh shit, I'm so sorry, that was so awful, I'm so gross..." The apologies start bubbling in your mouth while your face turned red and you dare to look at him, and the serious look on his face could have broken your heart in the very moment because you could almost hearing him say how you should end the dinner for once.

"Oh you wanna get tough" He said instead and took a sip of his beer and let go an even bigger burp and then looked at you with the brightest smile yet and add "Beat that baby" and he raised his opened arms as if he had won. You only smiled and nodded and you kept talking about other nonsenses until two beers and a order of onion rings later he was waiting at the door for you to came out of the bathroom to walk back to his car.

"Sorry I take forever, I went back to give a bigger tip to the waiter, we were so awful" You said at him.

"You were awful, I was being completely charming" He said and this time he didn't offer his arm to you instead simply took your hand without saying a word and before you noticed you were already walking holding it tightly.

"Of course you were, the guy put two more picked eggs at the table for you and kept looking drooling" You said and he laughed.

"Sorry sweetheart I can't turn off this pretty face" He said pointing at him when you reached the car, you couldn't agree more.

"Well he must be in love, that's a lot of vinegar to want to kiss someone" You said, again before you could think better and stop your tongue, he stood still and you questioned yourself if you had offended him, since he didn't say anything you let go of his hand and try to walk to open the door, but before you could do it he grab you by the wrist, and you froze immediately.

"That's actually quite disappointing you know?" He started no smile, but no anger either, just an honest tone, he let go of your wrist but you remained in your place "But I have never think it's okay to try and kiss someone in the first date so I figured it would be okay"

Your feet were still on the ground but for a moment your head was miles and miles away in the sky screaming of happiness and incredulity, it was a simple four letter word yet it felt like the most beautiful poem in his lips, and at the same time your logical thinking brought you back to the ground in a millisecond, you needed to be certain of what he had said.

"Well I was not aware this was a date, otherwise I wouldn't have ordered the extra onion rings" you said and give him a timid smile.

"Then I must be terrible at this" he said opening the car door for you "Although I wouldn't mind, but as I said it's a first date so I just want to take you home safely.

"Well that's really sweet of you" you started and he start the car to get back to your home "And since apparently I'm incapable of behaving like a decent person in public when I'm with you next time you should come to my place".

"I like your indecency" He said "And I would love too, are you going to tell me that you can cook too? Because in that case you are officially annoyingly adult"

"Of course, my speciality is reheated pizza in the microwave" You said and he laughed, there was a narcissistic pleasure about being able to make him laugh.

As a perfect gentleman he walked you at your door, there was so much that you wanted to tell him, but the idea of going out with him again soon was so powerful that you almost didn't mind watching him leave.

"That was the funniest and more amazing date I ever have"

"Oh stop it" You said blushing again "I'm going to start believing you and it would get to my head"

"Believe me, I almost run to the drugstore to buy a toothbrush" He said and give you a devilish wink that make you thank your door for being behind you holding you still.

"You know how unfair this is when you look like that?" You said desperately looking at your feet "And for what is worth I have an amazing evening too, and if I'm honest I wouldn't have mind at all too" You said and dare to touch his arm softly before turning your back at him to get inside.

He suddenly grabbed you by your waist and turned back to him, planting a quick soft kiss on your cheek, and you could see the fun grin on his face, he was not being considered he was torturing you with anticipation, and you love it.

"Goodbye then" He said and with one last wink he walk away and got in his car.

You stood ther for solid five minutes touching your face where he had just kissed you and watching the street, then you finally get inside thinking about how happy and uneasy this force of nature of a man made you feel, he would be the end of you, but you wouldn't change it for the world.