#I never though I would get into something so much that I drew fanart

[the-mighty-q]

so for the first time ever I have made fanart.

Never drew fanart before this, never drew human’s either. But the rush of serotonin I got with a simple sketch was AMAZING. 10/10 will draw fanart again

[drenched-in-sunlight]

Can I just say how in love I am with the way you draw Marika? Like every art you post of her has my jaw dropping…you add such a beautiful layer of humanity to her with her dynamic expressions and poses—it’s so refreshing to see especially when so many fan arts of her needlessly sexualize her or dial her down to a one-dimensional stone-faced villain (which a villain she is—but she is still complex)

And I adore how you draw her partial nudity as something natural, meaning that you don’t draw her without a top for the sake of objectifying her,

Your art is overall so pleasant and colourful and fun to look at, and your takes of Marika’s character in your fanart is literally what made me more interested in who she is in-game.

Thank you for drawing her the way you do! (And for drawing Elden Ring fanart in general💕)

i've been letting this ask stewing in my inbox for a while because it makes me so emotional 🥲

if you look at how i drew Marika before anything in the DLC was announced, it did fall into the two categories you were talking about, because despite having a little more positive view on her than the rest of the fandom at the time, i still had no idea who she was as a person. and by that time i were more interested in Malenia, so even though i did try to envision how Marika was, it's a very distant and vague image. which is what i love about Elden Ring lore in general: we see Marika via how her children see her.

it was easy back then to conclude we'd never get her, and "mother" is a distant term that will always be overshadowed by "God", so i just went along with the general haha evil sexy girlboss thing that the fandom was doing. but then the DLC teaser dropped the another elusive (possibly firstborn) child of her, with a statue of her holding a baby in his boss room, she started to get more little quirks that's so human in my work (the small smile, the little lock of hair that curls gently) because for the first time, we see her through the eye of a son that evidently adores her, so she gets a bit more human, because someone views her with emotions that are not fear nor distance.

then the DLC drops, and it's not just through Messmer's eye (or the entirety of his being that carry so much of her love it weighs him down and twist into the most horrible curse in the end), it's through the eyes of her family that were no longer there at all. it's the jar innard enemy that huddled in a jar and clutched at a piece of raw meat, it's the Grandmother's gentle smile as she rest among a sea of flowers, it's the solitary minor erdtree that bathed the whole place in the kindness of gold, it's the Fire Knights and soldiers that clearly viewed her as Mother as much as she was God, it's Miquella throwing away his love and doubt because he didn't know how to deal with the revelation that his mother was once a fallible human just like the rest of them, it's Trina's entreaty that Godhood was just a cage that would kill him slowly, it's the final boss music with the female voice belting "Hail, Marika the Eternal" - in the place where she had to wade through a sea of flesh and blood, her family included, to ascend to Godhood. it's finally understanding that to her, Eternity is to live for all her loved ones that have fallen down.

and somehow, it all comes back to this portrait at the base game, right at the Roundtable Hold, of a woman with permanently lowered eyes.

yeah i know after the DLC i've put on such a Messmer-style protective glasses for her, it shows very clearly in my art. now she could cry, looks sad, small smile, big smile, looks silly, looks cute, looks serious, her hair is pulled up in twenty different ways, she jokes and talks to animals and goes back to be just a simple young girl rolling around in the grass, blah blah... im drawing all these with eyes wide open. and i have no intention of stopping lol.

sometimes, things that already come alive will never go back to be a cardboard cutout anymore. if ppl don't like it, block me or whatever, in my space, i'll do that makes me happy. and im very glad that other ppl could find their own happiness and solace with my work too :) thank you for such a thoughtful and kind messages!

[mikashisus]

CARNAGE — prologue.

SYNOPSIS: while on a side job in the land of dreams, you run into a beaten down member of one of penacony’s elite families. you offer him a chance of escape, and without knowing any better, he eagerly takes it. there’s a gist, though, he’s told by another — you aren’t who you seem to be, and with the ticking time bomb nearing zero, sunday has little time to break open that can of worms. it’s only when he follows you on one of your missions that he sees who you are at your core: a cold blooded, heartless monster that lives for carnage.

PAIRING: sunday x fem!stellaron hunter!reader

cws: mild blood and injury, gambling, drinking, mentions of alcoholism, brief mentions of past trauma, angst, suggestive here + there

wc: 1.1k

taglist: @milksnake-tea @synqiri @wystiix

notes: this idea has been in my drafts since february and i never got around to actually writing it until now. this was originally supposed to be a jing yuan fic, but then i kept seeing fanart of sunday as a stellaron hunter and knew i had to switch it to a sunday fic… even though i hate sunday… anyw the masterlist will come at some point idk. whenever i feel up to making graphics for it :p

Across the bar, you twirled the glass of vodka in your hands as you watched your next target take a seat. Without a word or so much as a glance, he spoke up, his tone stiff and uneasy. His shoulders were tense, and it was clear to anyone that he was deeply troubled.

“Can I help you?” 

His words were so comical they made you laugh. No one had asked you that before. Usually you were the one speaking those words. You turned to face him, the slit in your dress falling from your thigh and revealing more of your smooth skin. 

“I believe I should be asking you that,” you said, your voice a sultry drawl, “what can I do for you, runaway?” 

The man sat in a somewhat shocked silence. The electro swing music blaring from the club’s speakers momentarily distracted him. The smell of wine invaded his senses as you got closer. The singular light hanging above your head illuminated your features, and that was when Sunday realized who you were. 

Your wanted posters were everywhere, littered around the streets of Penacony like a plague. It was no joke to regard you as the current most wanted criminal on Penacony. 

A Stellaron Hunter, right here in the flesh. He’s never met one before. Your kind was wanted all over the cosmos, and the IPC was willing to hand out a lavish sum for every single one of you. He tried to recount the exact number of your bounty, but he hadn’t ever paid that close attention to the wanted posters to really remember. 

Sunday watched as the wine slowly dribbled down the sides of your glass. You brought the cup to your lips, and he swallowed thickly as your throat bobbed. He cleared his throat and abruptly turned away, calling the bartender for a drink. Suddenly, his entire body felt hot. His fingers twitched, and he could feel them starting to sweat under the tight fabric of his gloves. 

“What are you doing here, Hunter?” Venom dripped from his lips. “Won’t you get caught?” 

A small huff of amusement left your lips. “This bar is strictly neutral. Besides, I can handle a few Hounds.” 

The way you spoke reminded him of that one IPC officer– the woman who belonged to the Ten Stonehearts, Lady Bonajade. And the look in your eyes was just like hers: carnal, predatory, with an underlying hint of something he couldn’t quite place his finger on. If he stared into your eyes long enough, he felt like he would dissolve into nothingness. He was already beginning to feel a little dizzy. 

There was something alluring about you that drew him in– aside from your obvious attempts at seduction. Did you treat everyone this way? Or did you only bring this tactic to light when you were up against a burdensome foe? Or… maybe you saw this as a game. Judging by the sparkle in your eye, he came to the conclusion that it was a mix of things. 

“You look troubled,” you said, “how about I offer you an escape?” 

He blinked, his brows raising just a little in surprise. He didn’t want to seem too caught off guard with your proposal, but it seemed that his attempts were futile. You saw right through him. 

He fidgeted slightly in his seat, taking a quick sip of the wine in his hands. His nose scrunched up in disgust. That’s right… he hated alcohol. Why’d he come here again? His brain was a little fuzzy. 

“What kind of escape?” 

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued by the offer you were making. What was it exactly that you were offering to him? An escape from Penacony? An escape from the many people who were now after his head after his stunt in the Grand Theatre? Solace from the life he’s built up all these years? Would he even be able to leave knowing Robin would be on her own here? 

Would Robin even welcome him back with open arms or would she shun him away? He would never admit it, but that was his greatest fear: losing his sister. 

“From reality, of course.” 

The way he laughed reverberated off of the club walls. It was an ancient sound, one he hadn’t heard since he was a child. It made his chest hurt, so much so that he felt a coughing fit rise in the back of his throat. How long had it been since he’d genuinely had a laugh? He let out a scoff and downed his entire drink in one go before standing up. 

“Don’t mock me, Hunter–” 

“You think I’m joking?” Your lips curled into a scowl. 

He looked into your eyes then, and what he saw terrified him. A fiery wrath was brewing, and it sent a shiver down his spine. He never felt this terrified before, not even when he was threatened on multiple occasions by Gopher Wood. 

You were not playing around. You were completely and utterly serious. 

Placing your empty wine glass onto the bar, the bartender behind you filled your cup once more. You stood up, slowly walking over to the pathetic man who you deemed your next target. He swallowed the newfound lump in his throat and straightened his back. He refused to back down. Not again. 

“Take my hand, and I’ll give you an offer you can’t refuse: Complete and utter freedom from your past life.” 

The offer was enticing. And the way you spoke of freedom made his fingers twitch with anticipation. That was all he ever wanted-- freedom. Freedom from everything. To live a normal life and not have to worry about the duties that weighed on his shoulders. He was like a caged bird who wished to be free. Like Icarus when he first saw the sun. 

And just like Icarus, he was willing to burn his wings and get too close. Like a human, he was making a deal with the devil. 

Upon hearing his answer, your lips curled up into a smirk that looked oddly identical to the way a wolf bared its teeth. The look in your eyes could be identified by him as excitement, but what he didn’t realize was that it was actually a drunken craze. 

His hand slid into yours, firm but shaky. Your hand curled around his, tight and unyielding, like a wolf's jaws locking around the neck of its prey. 

He was free… or was he?

notes: masterlist for this fic will come when i feel like posting it :p in other words, not anytime soon!

© 2024 mikashisus. do not plagiarize, copy, repost, feed to ai, or translate my works to any other platforms.

[drill-teeth-art]

A late night, slight retrospective on the tiny amount of Tumblr fame I've gathered that also might be slightly annoying for my audience to read so feel free to skip it if you want.

I started sharing Transformers fanart on here back in 2022, around October. I had been posting art on here for a while before actually but people really started following me and asking about my work and actually reblogging my stuff when I started posting Transformers fanart in 2022. I was in a really low place then, and I really welcomed the attention. My art was and still is something I take a lot of pride in. It's my own. There's quite a few years of my life where the fact I could still draw was the only thing stopping me from attempting suicide. It's something that has always meant a lot to me, so the attention on one of the only things I really liked about myself was nice. It was nice for a while.

But I've gotta say the slight Tumblr fame (and I do mean slight, I've only got around 3k followers which is a lot of people and more than I ever thought I'd have following me and more than a lot of folks will ever have but not like A Ton Of Fame) has wreaked havoc on my mental health. Which is already pretty rough as is. Suddenly I wasn't just some guy making Transformers fanart while desperately saving up to get out of my parents' house. Suddenly I was some people's FAVORITE Transformers artist. Suddenly I was a role model to people and I had people in my DMs clambering for my attention and I had an audience that would cheer or boo or go awkwardly silent at my every post depending on how much they liked it. And it was Not Good For Me. I had and still do have people all over my inbox, excited about how I drew fat and disabled and trans characters asking me over and over to draw some specific representation that I don't want to draw right away. I had and still have people begging me to draw their favorite Transformers character who I happen to not really care about and not want to draw at all. And I am painfully aware how often people take personal offense to my polite "no I'm not drawing that unless it's a commission" and my not answering their ask because I'm not in the mood. I've had people send in asks asking for a specific drawing and then follow up asks when I don't answer in a timely manner. And it's really uncomfortable! And it's almost more uncomfortable that it feels like a lot of people don't even notice that they're making me uncomfortable.

And I like learning how to draw bodies I've never drawn before. I like looking at a character who I think is meh and being like "well actually how can I make them interesting to me...". But it really felt and still feels like my art was getting away from me, like I was drawing more what people were asking me to make instead of what I wanted to because people would take it so badly when I'd say no. I was getting commissions though and I was saving up money to move out so I ignored that bad feeling of getting distanced from my own craft because I was trying so hard to save money and I was actually making some. And I still wanted the attention. Plenty of people were still kind to me despite everything.

Things got weirder for me after I released my Good Bi Gender comic. Which I do still recommend people read I think it's some of my best work. But that comic became a huge hit. And it made things really complicated for a while. I got anon hate. I was told to kill myself by strangers online more than once while I was already deeply suicidal. Something I thought I stated very clearly in the comic itself, that I didn't want strangers calling me "she" though I did and do let my close trusted people call me "she", was immediately ignored by my regular audience and people reading the comic. I got a lot of "you go girl!" kind of messages in response to my comic, and I didn't say anything at the time but it made me deeply uncomfortable. The comic was partly about how the she/her part of my identity is off limits to strangers. How I don't let just anyone she/her me because I work so hard to have the he/him aspect identity acknowledged at all. And it was like what Tumblr decided for me was to go against my wishes. Was to be like "we'll accept your identity for you!" when that's not what I wanted. I did NOT want to be she/her'd by thousands of strangers at the time. And though I'm grateful to have heard the understanding stories of other folks with nonbinary gender identities in the notes, it was deeply humiliating and invalidating to watch as others decided for me to accept the Girl part of my identity. The opening lines of the comic are explicitly a plea to the reader to listen and understand why they're not allowed to use she/her for me even though I'm opening up about the complexities of my identity.

And like. I don't care anymore if people online she/her me. At least I don't care right now that's why she/her is in my bio right now maybe I'll change that. But at the time it was awful. It was something I asked people not to do. And between that and the constant clambering for my attention from people I didn't want to talk to (because I was severely depressed and wasn't looking to make a ton of new friends) and the alienation from my own work I felt like shit. I felt like garbage. I still do. I hate my art sometimes. I really hate it. And for a while, I considered breaking my own fingers just so people would stop acting so entitled to my art and I would have a reason not to post. And honestly the only thing that stopped me was just trying to get by financially. Just watching my follower count and regular notes steadily trend upward so I could do more commissions so I could move out.

And doing things for the numbers, even for a relatively short time, only made things worse. It sounds a little silly even to me, but I get so stressed out when my posts flop, especially if it's art I was really proud of. I'm struggling to detangle my sense of worth in my art from the online numbers game. And I'm proud of the progress I'm making, but it does really suck and it's really hard. And I really wish I was still the same person back in early 2022 who could say "I don't care about the numbers!" and actually mean it because god I WISH I didn't care about the numbers now. Especially now. I dunno if it's me posting more art people don't wanna see or people leaving Tumblr or a shift in the culture of Tumblr but fewer and fewer people interact with my posts despite my follower count ticking up slowly but surely and it kind of bums me the fuck out. But. I am very proud of myself for still drawing the ocs that I want to draw even if they get less notes every time. And even if I'm slightly frustrated they get less notes every time.

I don't really have a neat bow to tie on my personal story right now. I'm still healing and sometimes I backslide and it's hard and it sucks. I don't want to sound ungrateful or to sound like I'm trying to shoo people off my blog because I'm not. I'm really grateful for the attention and interest and I'm not trying to turn people off my art blog. But it's been a rough few years on here. And don't be surprised if you see me take more and more breaks from this website. I do sincerely hope y'all will stick around and watch me continue to post whatever art and say kind things because I do appreciate that a lot. I'm trying really hard to mend my relationship with my own art. To not be so hard on myself. And for the record I don't want any asks telling me to take breaks when necessary or reminding me to draw for me. I appreciate the sentiment, but I already know all that and I personally don't find it helpful to be reminded of things I already know. But anyway. I hope that I will draw more and more of whatever I want to, even if that means I fade back into obscurity.

If you stuck around to read me reflect on the stresses and occasional humiliation of my small amount of online notoriety, then thank you. I appreciate that. And really I do like people looking at my art on here and sharing it and sending asks about my work. And the person I expect to be responsible for my mental health and how much social media is impacting it is Me first and foremost. But sometimes I think that it's important to remember there's a person behind your favorite art blog. And sometimes when you get swept up in parasocial attachment and hype, you kind of treat that person really fucking weirdly. And no that doesn't make you a bad person or a monster. But it does mean you have to learn to deal with it when someone who you might even idolize is like "back off me you're making me uncomfortable".

Anyway. I shouldn't be up as late as I am. A headache has been keeping me up all night. I'm gonna try to rest though. Goodnight.

[factual-fantasy]

27 ASK :)))))🍤🍤🍤

I do not.. but man I really need to give them names. I intend to name my FNAF au before drawing Moon Malfunction 2.0. And my Deltarune AU... ehhh.. idk, I'll just see if anything comes to me <XD (I'm open to suggestions! :0 )

@eggswastaken

Thank you! But sorry, no fanart rule. I wouldn't like for anyone to draw my AUs Asgore.. Thank you for asking first though <:) A lot of people would have just drawn it and not have cared to ask.

:DD Thank you so much!! :}}}

@luna-purple454

AAA THANK YOU FELLOW ASGORE ENJOYER! XDD

As for his backstory I don't really have any new ideas.. but as for the future?

I have ideas of Asgore seeing other versions of people he used to know. And it really hurts him. Like maybe they pass by and AU where he sees a Toriel. And his heart just aches. Or he sees a Gerson or Gaster, and he just longs for those people. He misses them and it kills him that he cant ever go back home.

Imagine if he met a Toriel that hated Asgore, post murdering kids. And she understands that he's a different Asgore but she cant help but be cold towards him. That might hurt worse than just missing his family. Someone with his wife's face being indirectly disappointed in him. Ashamed of him, angry at him. He never did those things that her Asgore did. But she still glares at him out of habit. And that kills him more than anything. And don't even get me started when he hears about the horrible fates this AUs Asriel and Chara suffered.

I can imagine that like Grillby, his body becomes more unstable the more emotional he is. Maybe they walk through an AU where Asgore meets that Toriel. And by the time they're ready to leave Asgore is wrecked. Seeing all these people broke his spirit. His body has significantly dissolved and he can no longer walk. All he does is hang his head low and weep. Saying he cant move.. and he wants to go home..

Jevil might be able to take the whole group to another AU, despite Asgore's state. But likely they'd just camp out for an extra day or so until Asgore can pull himself back together..

Aw, I'm sorry you're sick, that's no fun. <:( But I'm glad my artwork is helping you feel a bit better :}}}

@cudlycorncornsworthcoberson

Positively giddy my dear fellow

@elegysonnet

I haven't seen it yet, but it looks good and I plan to watch it! :0

@pinkbomb08

:D Thank you! Even if you have nothing to ask, I don't mind a nice message! :}}

@veeneeyyyy

Thank you! And hey man. Being down on yourself about your artwork is just gonna make you feel worse and slowly chip away at your confidence. Trust me, I've been there.

Try your best to always say something positive about the art that you make. No matter how much you think/believe that its bad. And never follow it up with anything bad either, "the face came out nice... but this hand looks terrible-" No. None of that. Actively force yourself to never say anything negative about your art out loud and always search for things that you like in the piece. If you seriously cant find a single thing to be positive about, then say "well I did my best. And I improved a little at art because I drew this."

Trust me man. From personal experience it will do wonders for your self confidence. Eventually that confidence will become second nature. Fake it till you make it.💪

@nutty-candy-lover

WAAA THANK YOUUUUU HHHGHFIIUSDAFI💖💖💖😭😭

REALLY THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I take so much pride in my expressions and angst! I've never really been the best at expressing my stories through dialogue. So I express it through body language instead!

A big chunk of the drawing time is the sketching and the line art. Trying my best to get specific expressions and poses. Like in this post! Most of the line art time was spent making sure that Grillby and Asgore eyes were juuuust right. And that Asgore's hug didn't look too tight or like Grillby couldn't pull away if he needed to. More like he was holding/supporting Grillby with 1 arm, and resting his hand on his back with the other.

I always have this thought process while drawing of "his pose looks a bit stiff, his shoulders aren't drooped down enough. He's grieving, so he needs to look heavier. His eyebrows should be furrowed a bit tighter. No now he looks angry, less furrow, more tears. His tears look too fresh. He needs to look like he's cried a lot recently. Okay thinner tears and marks around the eyes-" things like that.

I enjoy drawing these physical expressions so much and I really try to make them look good. So to hear that you see that effort I put in and you really like it?? wwAAA AWOOOOGOROOG😭😭💖🍤💓💖💘THANK YOU WAAAAAA

@cupcake-kingdom

Sort of..? I think they would have a decent relationship. I imagined him being a cold father but sometimes shows that he cares in his own special way.

Like for example. A comic that I never got around to drawing started with Bowser having a nightmare about Mario. When he wakes up, he proceeds to roam from room to room around his castle. Checking on all of his kids 1 by 1. He could stop by and maybe close their open windows, tuck them back in if their blankets were kicked off. A stuffed animal fell off the bed so he puts it back.

I think I planned for him to make it to JRs room. And instead of just checking and leaving, he goes and scoops JR up and take him back to his room. He also checks on Kamek and the Commander. before going back to bed with JR.

That might be a good way to explain it. He like- he loves his kids, he does. But he's just super weird about showing it and can only be truly tender towards them when something like that nightmare happens.

I don't believe so no. :/

I'm not sure, I haven't seen the Amazing Digital Circus yet <XD

@growing-past-me

Woah woah woah- slow down for a sec, Jevil and Seam are strictly friends through and through.😅 I personally don't support/enjoy ships of any kind. Its just really not my taste. :/

But yes! Which ever story I end up going with, Jevil and Seam escape their AU together and rekindle their friendship. :}

Yes! It is! :DD

Its also a double whammy though because its also meant to parallel Foxy having his mouth tied shut and his hook being removed. 👀👀

I haven't really thought about it too much..

Perhaps they'd feel betrayed? Because Freddy, Foxy and Bonnie all lied to them to keep Gregory a secret? Maybe there would be fighting because Chica and the others think they should call security but Freddy insists that they dont?

Maybe they would think that Freddy is malfunctioning because of how hard he pushing against their protocol? Maybe they'd call security on Freddy because of how he's acting..? Who knows <XD

As for how they acted the night Gregory was there.. man.. they wouldn't know what to say. Some might not even believe it happened, some would be ashamed.. it would be a hard pill to swallow for sure :(

@random-entity-363

XDD he really does use the power of tape to fix things doesn't he? I think he was also just a bit lucky that a lot of the damage on Bonnies body could just be poorly taped back into place.

I supposes that Staff bots could be used to aid Foxy is certain shows of his. But ultimately he is meant to be a 1 man band while preforming in Pirates cove <:/

"Bonnie you have no business being this larg" XDD

I've seen that all over Tumblr in the past few days. I really gotta get around to watching it <XD

@beryl-shade

I suppose its always possible. Although with how I've structured my Vanessa and the "bug", I don't think anyone/anything would make Bonnie do that..

XDD Yeah I can see them freaking out. As would anyone!

Well Bonnie didn't become this way over night. It was a slow process over the span of ten years. Years of constantly being overwhelmed with his performances, interacting with large crowds that he's not designed to process, his friends not giving him space when he really needed it.. He just slowly crumbled more and more until now he's just this cold, angry and rude individual.

However,, when it comes to Vanessa he's not that bad.

Bonnie is designed for interacting with groups of no more then 10 people at a time. He's even better at 1-1 interactions. And that's what Vanessa is. Just 1 person to process. Just 1 child.

And unlike most other kids that Bonnie deals with, she is very shy and quiet. She almost talks less then Bonnie does. That could be why Bonnie was Vanessa's favorite character. She preferred characters who weren't as loud as Monty or as active as Foxy. A slow moving, mellow animatronic is what she was drawn to.

I've imagined them interacting. Bonnie would ask her a question and she would just nod. If she were scared/sad she might not rush to Bonnie for a hug. Rather just sheepishly sit next to him and hold his hand.

What I'm trying to say is, she matches Bonnie's energy pretty well. Bonnie is not scary to her and Vanessa isn't overwhelming for Bonnie. I imagined them camping out in Bonnies room. The darkness makes Vanessa feel hidden, so she actually prefers it. She's shy so she doesn't really say much to Bonnie.. But she feels safe with him.

Maybe she squeaks out a little; "..thank you for helping me.." Bonnie could then turn his head a little and nod. Vanessa could smile and then curl up next to Bonnie. Eventually falling asleep.

They could work, and maybe their bond isn't the same as Freddy and Gregory's, but that doesn't mean it's lesser. Or that they're not as close. I think they're just right for each other. An overwhelmed animatronic mixed with a really quiet kid is a good mix I'd say :0

(Post in question)

I don't have an answer for either <XD

He was just reading "a book" and Kwazii was about to do "a dumb thing"-

@ocinstituterep

I haven't really given their exact ages much thought. Though I kind'a have an age range..? I feel like Barnacles is 40-50 years old. Maybe closer to 40.? Inkling is like in his 60-70s.

Dashi, Shellington, Kwazii, Tweak and Peso are all just bunched together between 20 and 40 years old. But Peso could be the youngest of the 5 and Kwazii the oldest maybe..?

The Vegimals are all under 10 I think.

I have not drawn that before no :/

Also that fact list was fun! XDD

[spicymotte]

How fandom culture killed my creativity

hi. I have some thoughts about my time in a huge fandom and how it changed me:

First of all, I would like to say that these are my personal experiences in a large anime fandom. I have made very good friends with whom I am still in contact today - and I was exposed to a kind of brain rot that has changed the way I deal with art forever. However, this does not apply to every fandom/every person.

this - essay? - is way longer than I thought it would be. More under the cut:

In 2020, after a long break, I was able to get excited about One Piece again. Until then, I had always considered art important to me and I had never been able to do it professionally. (maybe someday...!)

The One Piece fandom is huge. There are now over 1000 manga chapters and anime episodes, which is gigantic; and the fandom itself is just as huge: millions of fans love this manga/anime and exchange ideas about it on the internet. I was previously very limited to tumblr, but then I ventured into OPtwt, the One Piece community on Twitter. There is a lot of fan art, fan fiction and small cliques that like the same character. There is something for everyone. It was great! I had a hyperfixation phase on OP before, in 2017. Now it came back - so violently that I realized very quickly that I could hardly think of anything else but One Piece.

Hyperfixations involve two major factors: an intense obsession with a character (or theme/media/whatever), which often brings with it a bottomless well of inspiration and motivation for artists – and a strange influence on brain chemistry. Neurodivergent people are prone to difficulties with the release of happiness and rewarding hormones anyway, and even though I am in no way qualified to make grand statements, as a person living with AuDHD, hyperfixations are both a blessing and a curse.

Often, the neurodivergent niches in the fandom communities are very lively. On extremely interactive social media like Twitter, TikTok and Instagram, you are flooded with posts of fan art, discussions and also escalation. It quickly becomes stressful for the brain to keep up with it - especially if you manage to accumulate a large number of followers. (also a blessing and a curse!)

I started posting fanart and OC x canon in 2020. I spent most of the last three years on Twitter and I have to say that it set me back in some ways. At first, I was slow to get to know people through fanart, but then I got to know people very quickly: fellow artists that I am still good friends with today and, unfortunately, people who have also succumbed to an incredible, destructive brainrot. I had chosen a character (or rather, my brain did) who plays almost no role in One Piece. All the better, so I pretty much had him to myself and I could do whatever I wanted. The OC x canon community is generally very friendly and respectful, so I found quite a few people who liked what I drew. Cool!

And then it started. With fanart and a small fan club for my OCs, I got more followers and more likes. More retweets and comments, more notifications. The algorithm started to like me and the growth increased steadily. My fandom (OP) account grew, as did my reach.

I checked Twitter more and more. Every free second I took my smartphone in my hand and checked my notifications. I reloaded the page until I had a new notification. I repeated this on Instagram and tumblr. Sometimes I catch myself doing it today, even though I haven't been active in this fandom for over a year!

Likes were good, retweets better. Every notification of an interaction with my art was a push on the feel-good button in my brain. It's very addictive, even if I talked myself out of it at first. The pandemic was at its peak and the internet was the only way to meet friends anyway. All this shit was fast food for my brain.

Then I started drawing fanarts, even though I didn't feel like it. But the likes had to come from somewhere, didn't they? I drew favorites from manga, characters that I didn't even like that much myself. But they were popular, so that promised likes and reach! Every single day, really every day, I drew fanarts. I was disappointed with myself if I didn't.

As of today, my two One Piece art folders have 80GB of data in it! what the fuck!! That's not normal!

I learned a lot during that time and was able to develop my art. I was able to participate in projects, to draw for several zines and also had a lot of fun – but I treated it like a job. Making fan art your job is very difficult – and has a lot of consequences. If you run a merch shop (as I did for a short time), you always have to follow the hype and draw what's in style. You switch fandoms because the hype has just burned out and the next new thing is already in style. If you're one of the first to offer keychains and stickers - or plushies - you make the big money. That brings profit, but in my opinion you can very quickly step on the wrong foot in this jumping around and slip into burnout. (Or stagnate to such an extent that you lose all motivation to refine your artistic skills and become better at your craft.)

I see friends of mine, many of them, who are trying to live off of fandom merch. They all have one thing in common: their skills in art have remained absolutely the same over the past few years or have even declined. If you have to churn out a new batch of merchandise every week, you have to cut corners. There is no time for experiments and crazy studies when you can hardly live and have to produce merch/fan art that sells 100% well.

I don't mean to offend anyone - it's just that I've been thinking a lot about my own setbacks as an artist since I've been dealing with them so intimately. And I've definitely made some setbacks!

In 2021-2023, fandom life continued and got worse and worse. Checking my smartphone, drawing something every day to post it - just so that the algorithm doesn't sort me out. Posting daily is the number one rule on all Social Media, unfortunately. But I did it, no matter how burned out I felt.

And then there were the dramas on Twitter: internet puritans, antis and proshippers were screaming at each other and tearing each other to shreds (a trap I almost fell into myself! anti and pro are the biggest bullshit ever and I'm lucky enough to have reached a point where I can say: I don't give a shit lol). Callout posts, vague tweeting and aggression instead of simply blocking and moving on. Harassment that I myself experienced: I blocked a few people because I found them strange and unpleasant. They posted explicit things that I did not want to see on my timeline. This triggered a wave of harassment that was simply disgusting. These are people who hate their own lives so much that they can't do anything but feel miserable and stalk strangers online. Admittedly, this made me paranoid: a group of people had chosen me as a target. They passed around screenshots of many of my tweets and made fun of me, copying and stealing my art 1:1. They lied and cheated to make me look like an asshole – and this went on for years. It made me paranoid and was the first step away from fandoms, as it escalated more and more.

So, I was successfully bullied out of the fandom and my hyperfixation was over. It left a terrible void that I am still trying to fill today. Neurodivergence sucks, I'll tell you.

That's when I honestly asked myself for the first time: What the fuck am I doing here? When did I become a content machine for strangers on the internet? Why the hell do I feel so bad when I don't draw for a day? And why do I care what strangers think about me?!

Then I realized that I can't draw anymore.

Without references or the 3D models from Clip Studio Paint, I'm lost. When I try to draw something without any help, I sit in front of an empty canvas. My hands don't do what they're supposed to do and my brain blocks the thought of how drawing even works. My eyes only see the mistakes I make. Everything I draw looks bad to me.

I realized I have a problem.

So I try again and learn it all again from scratch: Anatomy, perspective, color theory, everything. But every time I sit down and try to put something on paper, there's nothing there. I've been drawing things every day for the last four years. Now my hyperfixation on this character and this manga is over and there's nothing left. I've been burning the candle at both ends and I've broken something in the process. Art is no longer something I enjoy. I need art to live and breathe, no doubt, but… the barrel now has a bottom again and it's empty to the last drop.

The little motivation I can muster goes into my webcomic, which is my everything. It's just mine, not a fandom. I feel honored that so many people read this comic. At the same time, I'm afraid that it's not enough; in my eyes, my art doesn't look good. Being surrounded by perfect illustrations on social media all day long distorts one's own perception of art, like the beauty industry that gives you body dysmorphia. On top of that, I haven't had any financial success with my comics in recent years, none at all. The dream of being an independent comic artist has receded so far into the distance that I can no longer see it. Bummer.

The constant stream of content that I gave during my fandom days has set me back incredibly. I can no longer enjoy the process of art, but my brain constantly pushes me to finish it, to have a finished product - because then I can post the drawing and get the virtual handshake that my weird brain likes so much.

Social media detox, of course, is the first thing that comes to mind. It's actually bullshit that we're all so addicted to these apps, but here we are. It's uncomfortable for me to admit, but I have hardly any friends in real life. I'm very introverted and many people find my autism very unpleasant (I can't blame them, I often come across as rude), so I only have 1-2 friends. I would like to have more friends, but maintaining social contact is terribly exhausting. It's hard enough to reply to my mutuals in the DMs (sorryyyyy if I forget sometimes………).

And what if I just take a break for a while and don't draw so much? Recharge my batteries? Right now I'm taking a 6-week break, partly because my jaw surgery is coming up soon. I'll be sick anyway, so why not put the webcomic on hiatus and take a break for a while? I don't know if it will work out, but I have a hunch that it won't, because I always have the fast-paced internet in the back of my mind. How can I be a freelancer if I don't do fanart? How can I make money with it to help my partner, who is currently financing our lives, financially? How can I, as a disabled person, find a job that I can do and at the same time build my career as an artist? As an independent comic artist, I have to do the job of so many people (artist, author, manager, taxes, work organization), how am I supposed to do that?

I have no answers to these questions. Original works don't go nearly as well as fanart! So you have to work ten times as hard and play by the vague rules of the algorithms, which is exhausting enough. Nowadays, you can only be lucky and ride the viral wave if it falls into your lap.

But reflecting on my time in a huge fandom has made me realize that I was going down a very wrong path and am now experiencing the consequences. I'm completely burnt out and no longer know why I'm even making art anymore. I don't know if I want to make art much longer. (I think shit-life-syndrome plays a big role here, but not exclusively.)

As I said, I don't have any answers - but I would at least like to warn those who are having difficulties with distancing themselves from the internet and are quickly losing themselves in this maelstrom of social media.

I have since deleted Twitter from my smartphone and, fortunately, have hardly ever used TikTok (dodged a bullet there!). I try to get back into traditional art and get away from my computer. I am all the more grateful to the people, my community, so to speak, who do nonsense with me on tumblr. They read my comics and are extremely nice to me, which I really appreciate. Thank you!

I don't know yet if and how it will continue, but I would like to finish Berserkir in the next few years. I'd love to find a way to finish all the short comics I want to make, even though it's just me and not a whole team. Maybe I'll find a way, maybe I don't. Anyways, thanks for sticking around!

[snowfallenapocalypse]

Howdy Slay the Princess friends! I wanted to show off my Voices designs, they’re still very likely to change cause I’m still not quite happy with all of them, but I hope you enjoy them! :3c

Explanations and a few extras below the cut! :) (This ended up being a kinda long post so be warned!)

For the most part I try to use the same body shape for all of them, with the only differences being their accessories and some beak variation. None of them have wings either- I don't like drawing them that much so they're reserved for TLQ

Alright here we go- explanation time!

Hero - Knight's helmet based on the default warrior class helmet from Miitopia, no clue if the feather, ponytail, thing... is his actual feathers or part of the hat and I probably never will. I love how he looks even if the helmet sucks to draw

Broken - Shackle and chain around his neck, not much to say about this guy, I was a bit worried it was too similar to the Prisoner's shtick at first but it's grown on me

Contrarian - Jester's cap, the most common defining accessory I saw for him in fanart and thought it fit. Probably gonna change him cause the current iteration doesn't feel quite right. (Either hat redesign or something new)

Opportunist - A tie and ripped dress shirt, I wanted a smarmy business-ey feel for him but didn't think a nice shirt would fit in with the aesthetic of the game, so I gave him a ripped one (he probably found it on the ground somewhere)

Paranoid - Perfume pendant, I adore this concept but have had a hard time conveying it properly. The pendant is filled with smelling salts in case he needs to wake someone up. I want to keep this concept so much but I know it has to go through a few more designs cause I don't really know what it's supposed to look like. Planning on adding another necklace and maybe a clock?

Smitten - A shawl with heart shaped embroidery and a flower broach, I... Don't know how to feel with this one? It doesn't quite fit Smitten's exuberance but I don't know what I would give him instead. Will probably change later if I do come up with something better

Hunted - Hooded cloak, for camouflage :0 (it's a very short cloak though basically only covers his shoulders.) I drew him twice so you could see both versions, realistically he'd always have the hood up but I find it hard to draw and doesn't look as good so I don't bother, (it probably looks weird because the hooded version is missing the feather tufts, I added a quick sketch of the hood with them below)

Cold - A hole in his chest (shamelessly based on Mad Rat Dead,) Cold didn't seem like the type to have any worldly possessions so this was the most literal way I could convey his 'heartless' personality, it is kinda bending my rule of giving all these guys unique accessories but it fits him quite well so I don't mind

Skeptic - Detective hat, this is another one that I think looks a bit weird due to the lack of tufts (version with them below) and I don't know how well this fits his personality, but Skeptic is probably the voice I'm least familiar with so I'm kinda just ignoring redesigning him until I get a better grip on his character (I also don't really know how to draw this hat- I tried my best lol)

Cheated - Cut off tuft and scars, I had a really hard time coming up with this one and I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it. It's another one that bends my rule of having accessories but I couldn't think of anything to put on him that fit the vibe of 'Being salty from repeatedly losing to someone using hacks in a game.' (Yes, that's how I summarize Cheated's personality lol)

Stubborn - ...Isn't here, Oops? Yeah, you probably noticed but I don't actually have a design for him yet. I might give him a cape? idk. He's another voice I don't really have a good grasp on, I have to play through his chapters again :')

Anyways! I had put my sort of 'design rules' for these guys in an older version of this post but I ended up not vibing with it so I edited it out- I like the post a lot better without all the excess stuff

And finally as the send-off to the post (and a thanks for reading all) here's the extra bits! My one Long Quiet full body, the Hunted and Skeptic sketch with their tufts, and a bonus Opportunist cause I realized you can't really tell what the shirt looks like lol

[arcofacatboy]

also Neal shusterman or someone on his social media team is doing shady shit involving AI art

Separating this from the post about Neal taking a “neutral” (complicit) stance on genocide, since art thievery and falsely crediting an artist is much, much less harmful than encouraging people to stay silent about the genocide in Palestine.

On December 7th, 2023, Neal Shusterman made this post to his various social media accounts - I took the screenshot from his Twitter.

Neal does fanart promotion all the time, so this was nothing out of the ordinary for him, except that even though I’ve only read half of Gleanings, I could immediately tell that this wasn’t a character from Gleanings, with the obvious clue being that Rowan is the only character in the series to have ever worn a black robe, and this clearly isn’t supposed to be him.

You’ll notice I blurred the artist’s name here - I did that intentionally so they don’t face harassment from people who didn’t read my post closely enough, but if you want to support her work you can easily find this post on Neal’s socials and get her username (while it’s linked on all of his social medias, the username corresponds to an Instagram account).

To me, this post screamed AI generated artwork, and the more I looked into it, the worse it seemed to get. The cover of the copy of Gleanings in that “photo” is in German - the artist Neal credited does not seem to speak any German whatsoever. In that case, why would they pick a copy of Gleanings in a language they don’t speak to overlay this art? The artist Neal credited never posted this piece of artwork, although they had made a different piece of fanart for the series that was in a completely different style to this one. The style of the piece of AOAS fanart the artist posted THEMSELVES had a completely different art style from the art Neal credited them with.

I ended up reaching out to the artist and asked if they had actually drawn this art piece, or if they knew who did. They responded today.

(My message before I sent the screenshot to them was apologizing for confusing wording in my original messages, and the fact Instagram’s crappy messaging system never sent them the art piece I was asking about in the first place. This confused the artist, which is partially my fault since I used a translator app to translate my message into their native language, which I’m sure screwed up grammar somewhere. I wanted to make sure they knew I wasn’t accusing THEM of using AI, but rather suspecting someone was using AI and saying they drew the AI generated art.)

So, Neal, or someone who manages his social media, put this artist in a damn hard spot and told everyone that the artist made something that was made by AI. And again, absolutely no hate or disrespect to the artist, they didn’t know this was happening and they were very kind and understanding. If you do seek out their account, give them a follow!

[foursaints]

i know you get asked this probably 16 times a day but as a fellow artist who usually paints based off of references of real pics and trying to be somewhat realistic. how did you develop your style? did it take awhile, or was it pretty immediate? did you start out doing mediums like painting and drawing and transition to digital or was it always digital? final question: do you have any “tips” or “words of wisdom” for silly people like me who wanna try digital art but never have and because i never have im too scared to try…? sorry for the elephant stampede of questions i just really love your art and would love to know YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS!!! (please)

hi ♡♡!! this is so kind & honestly i'm incredibly touched... I forget that people even like my silly art so this had me making 🥺 eyes at my phone. i will answer your questions to the best of my abilities!!!

i'm putting it under the cut so i can attach examples lol

DON'T BE SCARED OF THE SWITCH TO DIGITAL!! it's so fun and the undo button will change your life... come take my hand... my biggest tip is to watch speedpaints! that was really huge for me when making the switch. find artists with styles close to yours & pay attention to their steps (how many layers they have, how they do lineart, do they use overlays, etc). if you do this a lot, you can get a clearer sense for how the digital workflow/process can look for you

i feel like kind of a pompous asshole discussing my own "style" or whatever 😭😭 my silly yaoi fanart 😭😭 but i do want to answer your questions!!! i started out drawing traditionally but i transitioned to digital when i was 16. and for a very long time i was one of the people who drew with my finger on my iphone .......i def get the most questions about my style & the unsatisfying answer is that it's pretty much always been there. it's evolved over time in a way i can't really describe so i'll show it visually

(my examples are all my ocs in an attempt to get you guys to be curious about them)

^ i did a redraw pretty recently so i can put that here!! these are the same characters from Jan 2020 -> March 2024... the first one was drawn on my literal phone lmfao. to me it's almost as though my "style" has always been there, but it's become like... yassified?

^ my art looked like this in 2020-2021

^ and like this in 2018-2019 when i was still doing trad

sorry for responding to your questions with an elephant stampede of images lmfao!!! I APPRECIATE YOU!! i guess my only words of wisdom are that even if it's intimating, you will never look back & regret trying something artistically. looking at my own stuff like this, im the cringiest yaoi artist EVERRR but im still doing it because it's the most fun when you're being self-indulgent.

i really really wish you the best on your art journey! thank you so much for writing & i hope my answers weren't too long-winded ♡♡

[thenotebookwizard]

She-Ra | A Fanboy's Tale

The odd story of how I ended up in the She-Ra fandom. Because I would have put money down on that not ever having happened, but here I am.

So, to frame this story - a few things you should know about me.

My (main) job is Professional Adult™ - which is to say, I teach life skills to folk with neurodivergence, physical disability, and mental illness. I love my job. It lets me be a disability advocate. It lets me work with amazing people. It lets me discover, explore, and understand the world a little better every day. It lets me teach things I am very good at and learn things I am not. And it forces me to examine myself a lot.

I don't watch much TV. Or many movies. Anxiety about things. Lack of time. Lack of interest. Even fewer things I watch are cartoons. There are some older cartoons I love, but I don't really watch many cartoons. Not because they're bad or aren't entertaining or I have a prejudice against the form. Just - usually - I'm not exposed to ones I like.

Or they hit on the thing that makes me really wary of TV shows and movies these days. Which is - I love unironically heroic characters. I am so tired of the gray-area, morally compromised characters. I am tired of gritty, the bad guys win, the good guys have to be bad guys to win, the antiheroes, the Walter Whites (I loathe that show. And that character. It's awful.) Game of Thrones and ASOIAF. (Terrible people. Doing terrible things. For terrible reasons.)

I have worked with some families for more than a decade. Close to two decades, in some cases. Parents who needed to learn things to teach their kids. Kids with neurodivergence who needed someone to be able to fight for them at school when the parents didn't know the right code words and the laws. Siblings and niblings and adopted clans have all asked for my help over the years.

One such family has three kids, two parents and a bunch of adopted aunts/uncles. They are amazing people. Supportive. Accepting. Creative. They work hard, play hard, and find joy in ways I never have been able to.

The oldest kid loved Stephen Universe. They wrote fic. Drew fanart.

The oldest kid is autistic. Some social rules - are hard for them. Understanding the vagaries of fandom culture was just as hard. We never did find out what they did wrong (maybe it was their gemsona. Maybe it was a fic pairing. Maybe it was a youtube ramble. We really don't know.) But they did or said something that got a faction of the SU fandom riled up at them.

This is not an indictment of that fandom. I've been in fandom long enough to know that you can't blame all for a few. These few did some real damage, though. Threats. Mockery. Told my student to kill themselves. Slurs. Online stalking. Doxxing. Threatening phone calls. Threatening letters. Glitter bombs. False allegations called into their school. To police. Their home was vandalized. Their cars were vandalized to the point they were totaled.

They had to move. Both parents had to get new jobs. My student did not graduate from their high school. They were home schooled. They did not go to college. They did not get a job. They went into residential treatment for a year and some change. They have not yet recovered.

So when the youngest kid found She-Ra and the Princesses of Power a year or two ago and dove in with a powerful hyperfixation, their mother called me up in a blind panic. She could not go through it again.

She paid me to watch the show. To explore the fandom. To read the fic. To do what I do as a fandom person online.

So I did. To be fair, I was pretty much coasting along at that point. Coming out of a breakup, a health crisis, and COVID. No real new fandoms in years. Poking at a fic here and there. Not active on tumblr anymore. One or two servers. But my skills were there - I knew how to find fandoms. Servers. Fics.

The youngest was thrilled to find out their Mom wasn't going to take their hyperfixation away. They sent me a list of fics to read. Notes on the show. Youtube videos to watch. Articles to read. Blogs to read. Posts to read. Fanart to admire.

I watched the show - and my old fandom heart woke up a bit. The show had great villains. Great characters. An unironically heroic protagonist. A love story. At least, I thought it was a love story. By the time I was through season three, I figured that there was no way they were actually going to go through with Catradora. It was based on popular media properties from my childhood.

(Full disclosure: I loved She-Ra as a kid, more than He-Man. Mostly, because I saw her show first and Skeletor creeped me out. But I loved both and watched both. I love the Dolph Lundgren live action movie and I used to read the He-man and She-Ra comics. So I wasn't uninterested in my new work assignment.)

Then season four hit, and i was devastated. Glimmer had gone the 'dark hero' route. Adora was a sad, lonely mess. And the writers had taken Catra and, in the coldest, most brutal, purposeful, deliberate way taken her apart. Taken everything away from her. When they'd already given her so little. She always lost. Not just the battle or the war, but - herself. Her confidence.

By the time I started season five, I realized Catradora could never happen, because the things the writers would have to do to fix it, redeem them all and not leave me with the normal pyrrhic victory TV shows give these days wouldn't happen. No writers were that brave. No one breaks the cycle that way and gets away with it.

I was wrong.

Glimmer was saved by Catra, who apologized. Who sacrificed herself doing the right thing. Glimmer apologized. Glimmer owned her shit.

You have no idea how important that arc is to me. They took a character who had morally compromised themselves and had that character say: I was wrong. I messed up. I'm sorry.

And mean it. She didn't do it again. She didn't go back to her old ways. She stood her damn ground and stayed a hero. Hells yeah.

Adora - the titular hero of the show, without her magic, without her sword, said: Fuck it. We ball. And she walked right up to the big bad guy with more courage and heart than anyone since Luke Skywalker staring down Palpatine and said: Give me my friend back.

She rescued her arch-enemy. No one would have blamed her for leaving Catra behind with Prime. Catra was the enemy. Catra had broken the universe to get Adora back. Catra had tried to kill Adora and her friends over and over again. Catra had saved Adora as often as she'd tried to hurt her.

She stood before the Emperor of the Known Universe and defied him. She jumped off a cliff after Catra, and then when she stood back up, she had her sword. She had her power. And she kicked ass.

(Best episode. Season 5. Episode 5. Save the Cat.)

Then the writers doubled down and had them save the universe with love - through a kiss. Not only did all of that fit the old show, it was what I have wanted from a show for a long time. Unironic, unabashed, unashamed radical belief that doing the right thing and being a good person matter.

That you don't have to compromise yourself to beat the bad guys. It's when you accept yourself, you deal in radical acceptance, radical forgiveness, and the idea that people can change, grow, get better, become more -

Then you can save the world.

So, of course, I dove into the fic. And I found out where all the fic I'd been craving for ten years had gone. It was in the She-Ra fandom. Epics. One-shots. Love stories. AUs. All of it was right there, and more and more was being posted.

I read the fics my student sent. I joined servers. I read through tropes. Blogs. Posts. Articles. I even made myself watch videos.

And when I went back to that Mom, I told her the truth: there's controversy there, but here always is. There's a fight between ships. There's a lot of pain. A lot of hurt. Because this show touched on some big things - everything from growing up queer to growing up during war and disaster. It gave voices to a lot of things most shows and media won't touch or even look at.

But it's also a fandom full of beautiful people. People finding themselves, people expressing themselves, and people using story to redefine the world just a little bit at a time.

Which is what fandom has always done. When you scrape away the layers of hyperfixation and obsession and naked want for more of what the media gave us, you find people who believe, very strongly, in something the show expressed.

Just like Star Trek, so long ago. (And, not so long ago. I love you, Star Trek Discovery!)

So, I guess with that, discovering the She-Ra fandom turned me into a Professional Fanboy, because I got paid to do what I should have already done.

[fieldofdaisiies]

Azriel x Eris | Trap

type: fluff? suggestive warnings: Eris being cocky word count: 1220

@naariel I love her fanart of Azriel and Eris and just had to write a short story for this ship. By now we all know that I love this ship a bit too much and her fanart was just absolute perfection.

*all rights reserved*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Azriel groaned loudly when the trap around his foot wouldn’t loosen. He pulled again but nothing. And then—

Behind him someone clicked their tongue, a low chuckle following. 

"What do we have here? The spymaster," no other than Eris Vanserra cooed. Azriel snapped his head to the side, looking over his shoulder at the smug High Lord who had no surrounded a tree. With his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants Eris Vanserra walked up to the spymaster, a smirk plaserting his deadly handsome face.

“I get the impression you really want to see me? It can’t be a coincidence that this is now the,” —the High Lord lifted his hand and counted on his fingers— “third time this month that I caught you, Shadowsinger.”

He’ll be damned. Yes, Azriel was spying on Eris because he wanted to know what he was doing. He hid it under the false reason of wanting to find out what the new High Lord was planning — it was just for himself though. 

“Hm?” Eris chuckled. “At a loss of words, Shadowsinger?” “Get me free and fuck off, Eris!” Azriel growled and barred his teeth at the red-haired men. 

Eris nearly closed the distance between the two males, only stopping mere inches from the spymaster. 

Azriel was tall, yet it was nothing compared to the height of the High Lord towering over him. Eris was intimidating and still every fiber of the shadowsinger’s body screamed with need. The need to be finally claimed as his mate.

Azriel carefully lifted his gaze, knowing he could not hold Eris’ stare for too long. Yet he forced his eyes to meet the High Lord’s and they locked. A muscle flexed in Eris’s jaw, tensing. Eris held Azriel’s gaze, piercing into the shadowsinger’s eyes. Azriel watched Eris’ Adam’s apple pop up when his throat worked on a swallow. Although he had doubted it until that day, but was Eris feeling the same for him?

Eris’ eyes trailed over Azriel’s face, over his brows, nose, eyes, the spymaster’s full lips and up to his eyes again. 

It was then that Eris stepped backwards, only one step, and let his eyes trail over Azriel’s whole body, down to the foot that was still in the trap. 

“Would it turn you on if I now knelt down in front of you?” Eris drawled and once again closed the distance between him and the fuming Illyrian male. Yes, Cauldron and Mother, it would, Azriel thought. 

Azriel growled lowly in his throat which made Eris laugh again. “Fuck you,” the spymaster finally brought out which drew a lazy grin to the High Lord’s lips. 

“Later and only if you ask nicely.”

Azriel couldn’t hold back the silly smile and the snort that escaped him. It drew a smile to Eris’s face as well. 

Eris lowered himself to one knee, bracing it on the in leaves covered ground and glanced up at Azriel. 

“It turns me on, so I can only assume that you might feel the same.” Azriel bit the insides of his cheeks, he wouldn’t give him that. Never would he admit that he was feeling the same. 

“Now let me help you, little bat!” “I am not little, fucker!” Azriel growled. 

Eris traced his fingers over Azriel’s foot that was still caught in the trap, working his magic to set the spymaster free. “I didn’t expect you to be little,” Eris smirked and winked at the shadowsinger. 

“You have a foul mouth, Eris Vanserra,” Azriel groaned and felt heat erupt in every fiber of his body. Gods, he felt hot and tingly all throughout his body. Eris grabbed Azriel’s calve, helping him slip his foot out of the trap. Azriel groaned—he simply couldn’t hold it back.

The High Lord's touch did something to him, it burned him and for the first time in his life he liked the feeling of it. He was terrified and scared of his burning touch and what it did to him, but it also felt so damn good and right. He wanted to explore the fire, the fire that lurked behind the High Lord’s skin, he wanted to experience it, knowing it was the only fire he was not afraid of. 

Eris chuckled lowly. “Says the one who used the word fuck at least ten times in the past twenty minutes. Is it the only word you can think about when being around me?”

A furious blush creeping into Azriel’s cheeks, the spymaster averted his gaze and squeezed his eyes shut. 

Eris straightened up and brushed his hands down his thighs, trying to get the dust and dirt off. “You are terribly handsome when you blush and try to act all cold and stern,” Eris smiled to which Azriel shook his head. “What are you saying?”

“You know exactly what I am saying,” Eris answered and squared his shoulders. He inhaled deeply, taking in Azriel’s scent. Gods, he smelled delicious. 

“This is bullshit. You don’t make sense.”

“Azriel. If you are only feeling half of what I am feeling for you then—

“I only feel hate for you," Azriel breathed and in an instant Eris' hand was fisted into the shadowsinger’s jacket. With a smirk on his lips he pushed him against the tree behind the spymaster. Azriel's wings flared, his nostrils as well. He took in Eris’ sent and gods—rich spices, musky, lush and warm. 

“You are feeling the pull as well?”

“It is the fucking bond, Azriel. You are not stupid. Name it by what it is.” 

Azriel closed his eyes for a second and bowed his head. “Fucking hell. Why the two of us?” “Because you are insufferable and apperently this is what I deserve,” Eris chuckled which made Azriel laugh lowly. “You are the insufferable one."

Eris pushed Azriel’s chin up with his thumb and met the shadowsinger’s gaze once again. “Maybe we two are insufferable and that is what makes us mates?”

He leaned closer to his apparent mate, the two of them now breathing the same air.

“Maybe we are,” Azriel whispered and was the one to close the distance between their mouths. Eris was only shortly taken by surprise. Azriel’s lips fully closed over his and he kissed him. It felt like a thousand lights and sparks exploded, two souls who had been kept from each other for so long finally together as one. Mouths hungrily attacking each other, teeth clashing, tongues fighting for dominance, hands clawing at each others' body the two of them gave in to their feelings, finally getting what they had been craving for so long. 

“You taste divine,” Eris breathed against Azriel’s mouth, his tongue licking over the spymaster’s lower lip just to taste him once again. 

“You taste better than I could have imagined,” Azriel smiled —grinned actually, slowly untangling his hands from Eris clothes.

“Dinner at the Forest House? I think we have a lot to talk about.” With a blush on his cheeks and a smile on his lips, Eris slipped his hands through the shadowsinger’s scarred one, softly tugging on it. 

“I think we do,” was all Azriel said before he followed Eris —his mate— back to the Forest House. 

once again, this is for you: @stars-and-scripts

taglist: @moonfawnx @azrielsbitxh @azrielscertifiedslut

[meruz]

some weirdly specific artist game questions im answering while eating dinner. im gonna use my truly abysmal surface pen so theyre gonna be jittery af.

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in I feel like I don’t lose interest in projects so much as I run out of time to do them nowadays. I had a bunch of ideas for a shortbox comics fair project and then got too busy to execute and meet the deadlines. same with some zines... I still want to do them!! Idk when though. I guess when I was a kid I used to be interested in more ambitious original writing, long form fantasy type stuff. I think if you really dig through my archives you can probably find ocs from ideas like that but I don’t have a lot of interest in pursuing stories like that anymore because... idk even writing short things is tough for me.

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

I think this is mostly because ive been “finishing” art less lately? or like... making less small things and more singular big/complex illustrations? idk. it’s tough, I want to post more because I like posting art on the internet. I grew up watching other people post art on the internet and wanting to do the same. there’s a lot of artists who don’t like it but its fun to me. unfortunately this whole year has kind of been like a non-posting year tho.

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

25.  Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by Uhhhh this is tough idk. I think I’ve gotten like...ava’s demon before?

Which doesn’t make a lot of sense to me looking at the style alone but does like...make sense in the way that I think I share similar cultural inspirations with that comic like...being online in the mid 2000s...deviantart digital art type stuff. So even if there isn’t any direct inspiration there’s some shared dna probably.   I think I’ve hard art compared to transistor (the supergiant game) too and I think its like. a similar story there. Heck, If i drew more sexy characters my inking tendencies would probably get my art compared to hades just with how big that art style is culturally rn.too bad i only draw dumb looking kids.

I’ve never played a supergiant game. they look very nice and I rly respect them as a company but they’ve yet to make smth that’s really up my alley.

(unrelated but tumblr user wellnoe I’m a huge fan of ur art you have one of the biggest brains in xmen fanart imo...!! thanks for sending in an ask LOL ;-;;;)

[chemicallyyourss]

Hey guys,

I’m new here and sort of wanted to introduce myself and ask for some advice/suggestions.

I’m somewhat new to tumblr- I’ve had accounts before, but never really fully understood how to work all the features, and still don’t, lol. So if there’s maybe a guide or something somewhere that would be uber helpful and appreciated for me!

I used to write quite a lot- both fanfiction-sorts and original works- mainly on Wattpad, Fanfiction.net, and AO3 (yes I know the distrust that comes with Wattpad users lol, but I was 14). I have always mainly written for The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer- my absolute favorite book series of all time and my comfort series as well- as well as some other fandoms like funny enough BBC Sherlock and Hamilton, and I had quite a lot that I wrote for The Lunar Chronicles. I’m really wanting to get back into the flow of writing and see about reposting my old works onto here in a master list and also working on some new ones, again both fanfiction and original. I’m also wanting to get more into drawing and such- fan art and other things. I never drew that much of fanart other than some sketches and designs and bookmarks that I mostly kept to myself, but I’d love to start making my own so that I can work more towards drawing specifically what I want to see, as I’m such a perfectionist and there’s not that much The Lunar Chronicles fanart especially for my favorite couple. I do do several forms of arts and crafts like crocheting, knitting, pottery, art, etc, and I especially did good with photography and realistic drawings and charcoal drawings, and I’d love to incorporate that and also get better at other types.

So I was looking into devices that could help me out and make it easier to do these things. I don’t really like writing on my phone, as the keyboard is so small and I like a wider view and such. I used to write on an iPad, but that was waaaay back in 2014 or so. It didn’t give me all the features I’d liked, but it was enough to do my main bit of writing. I’m not that informed about technology and such so I’ve been trying to look into what products may be best for what I want, like an iPad and keyboard, a MacBook, etc. I’m not that well off so I can’t necessarily just drop a thousand or so dollars on stuff, especially if it doesn’t work best for me. If anyone can respond or even message me with some ideas and resources and information as to what would be most beneficial all around for this sort of project, I would be so appreciative. Thank you so much!

**you can skip down to the other two asterisks if you don’t want to read all about me or get bored lol, please read below the bottom asterisks at the end though**

I guess I’d like to say a bit about myself as well. I know I don’t have my page strictly shown as a “The Lunar Chronicles” fan account, but that’s pretty much what it is, plus some poetry, quotes, landscapes, art, Adventure Time stuff, cats, and memes. You pretty much might as well view me as a Lunar Chronicles fan account lol. It sucks because I figure I may have a hard time getting seen and interacted with since I’m not broadly showing that I’m absolutely obsessed with the series, but I really want to get the word out while still maintaining my individuality on my page.

I started reading The Lunar Chronicles when Cress was coming out, I think right after Scarlet had been released. I was preeeetty young back then, which is a little embarrassing because back then most of the fans were in their 20’s and I was a teenager, but hopefully more people my age have found the series now. I won’t say how old I was back then, but I will say I’m 21 now lol. You can do the math yourself if you want.

My OTP is Kaider, Kai and Cinder. I legitimately adore them, like ridiculously so. They make me so giddy honestly lol. I wrote mainly for their ship, but rereading the series for maybe the 20th time, I am starting to adore Jacin and Winter as well. I just think Kai and Cinder are so underrated and overlooked a lot of the time. I loved writing for them and I’m an absolute sucker for their fanfictions, so if you find any or write any I haven’t already checked out, hit me up and I’ll devour it lol. And Id love to share my current works and hopefully future works! I was relatively young when I wrote them all, but I’ve always written quite a bit and been more talented at that more than anything else- not to brag, it’s just I’m mostly a one trick pony and that’s the trick lol.

So, I’m a 21 year old female from the USA, and have lived in a very small town for all of my life so far, but I’m trying to move to a midsize city with my husband soon. I’ve been married since May 2023, and I’ve been with my husband since 2019. We’ve known each other vaguely since middle school, but really started speaking maybe 2 months before we started dating lol. I have 3 pet cats, 2 calicos and a male tuxedo, all food names. I absolutely adore them lol. I used to take care of a feral colony, and got them all spayed and neutered and most rehomed to good families. I’m very passionate about TNR and animal rescue, and the fight against cat overpopulation. I’m a huge cat person. I do have a dog that I’m currently long term taking care of for a relative for the last year and a half, but none of my own.

I grew up a huge book nerd and was a gifted kid until about highschool, when I sort of burnt out and also started coming under some heavy struggles with mental health, stress, and issues at home. I grew up with a father suffering multiple issues including vascular dementia, which he’s now in the late stages of and is mostly bedridden. He’s a huge sensitive subject for me. I took care of him a bit growing up and my life was pretty much anything but ordinary and it was very stressful. I had to do a lot of things kids shouldn’t have to. We also struggled a lot with 2 disabled parents, so as soon as I was old enough, I got a job and started relying solely on my own income. I mostly worked 2 jobs in highschool.

My childhood is a whole wild story I could go on forever about and I’d be more than happy to if ever asked, but I’ll pretty well leave it at that for now.

I ended up joining a college program while still in high school to practice and study Culinary Arts. I then entered college with a major in Culinary Arts with a focus in Baking and Pastry Arts, and I also studied business and was working for a degree in Home Science Education. I wanted to teach culinary classes, probably in a highschool, and maybe have a cafe of some sort. Eventually I did drop out of college with no degree so far but quite a few certifications. I started to struggle with my mental health and physical health a lot, and I was very stressed and my father had declined drastically and I just couldn’t take it at the moment.

I worked in several fiends, including Food Service, Healthcare, Opticianry, Management, etcetera. I currently work in a hospital as part of Registration, but I really want to work towards a career in Human Resources, and maybe finishing my Culinary education.

Like I said above, I’m very passionate about cats and TNR, and I have supported tons of TNR programs and tried my best to help people out with resources and such so they can spay/neuter their pets and keep animals and stray/feral animals safe. I’m very against kill shelters and euthanasia. I’d love to either open a rescue or Cat Cafe of sorts maybe, or at least volunteer/work at one, and I’m currently trying to get involved in CASA work, as the struggle with my goddaughter and the rough custody battle against one absent parent was a lot and I really want to help out more kids like that.

I was actually raised Amish/Mennonite and converted out, which is funny. I always get tons of questions about that so feel free if you’re wondering. I speak English obviously, but I’m also semi-fluent in Spanish and I know just a little of Pennsylvania dutch, which is my areas dialect of Amish/Mennonite language (I’m not in/from Pennsylvania but we call it that). My husband and I are not Amish/Mennonite, and my husband has never been.

I identify as a cisgender queer woman, and I am diagnosed with OCD, PTSD, and MDD, and have always struggled with eating disorders. I’m very big on mental health advocating, as well as general welfare and health. I grew up without much healthcare and it’s been hard working to cover my bases, and I finally was diagnosed in 2021, the same year I was able to start taking care of myself without being held back. I also have some physical illness issues, including heart issues and kidney issues. The kidney issues were furthered from my mental health issues and consequences of long episodes and dark, sick times. I was extremely sick for a very long time but I’ve gotten a lot better, even though I do still have flare ups and occasional issues. I’m a pescatarian, for many reasons, including my eating issues, my love for animals, and namely my sister showing me a slaughter documentary when I was a toddler. I never really liked the taste anyways so it’s easy for me. I eat any seafood, eggs, and dairy, although dairy does make me bloat so I avoid it usually. I’m a coffee and caffeine snob and used to be a barista so I’m properly addicted and have a drink bar at my house for coffee, energy drink refreshers, and mixed alcoholic drinks. I support 3rd party politics, namely the Green Party.

I guess I’ll sort of wrap this up but going into what I like- my favorite color is black- haha- my favorite book series is The Lunar Chronicles as I said and my OTP is Kaider from that series, I like some other series like the Unwind series by Neal Shusterman, the original Sherlock Holmes series, and others, I love The Walking Dead series and I love Rich and Michonnes relationship from the tv show and Daryl and Carols relationship as well, I haven’t gotten to read all the comics but I’m working on it, and I’ve working through all the sister shows and spinoffs, my favorite movie/show genre is horror especially psychological horror. I love all of Jordan Peele’s movies and a lot of A24 horror movies. I never got to watch many classic or cult favorite movies and shows so I’ve been trying to work through them all. I watched Orange Is The New Black and adored it. I’d say my favorite shows so far are tied between BBC Sherlock (my comfort show) The Walking Dead and Adventure Time, which are both very personal to me. I don’t exactly have a favorite book genre, but I guess it would have to be dystopian/romance and comedy. Comedy anything is always good lol. I like quite a lot of music, mainly Classic Rock, Grunge, Rap, Trap Metal, Pop Rock, Underground, Alternative, Indie, and others. I was a semi theatre kid- semi because my school didn’t have drama or theatre and I couldn’t afford to go see many plays lol. I loved Hamilton, Heathers, Falsettos, Dear Evan Hanson, and others. I was a part of choir but I’m not too confident in my voice lol. I used to write a lot of fanfiction and original stuff as I said, and I also wrote and read poetry. My favorite poets were Charles Bukowski, Emily Dickinson, Robert M Drake, and Sylvia Plath. My favorite authors would probably be Marissa Meyer (though I haven’t read her other works other than TLC yet) and Neal Shusterman. Their writing style really appeals to me and I write somewhat similarly. I’d say my favorite bands are Queen, The Beatles, Hozier, SuicideBoys, and Rainbow Kitten Surprise. My favorite song of all time is Hey Jude.

I do have a tattoo, currently only one, but I’m planning more, one to commemorate my father and one to reference Adventure Time, and some for my cats. I currently have a geometrical and floral pattern on my sternum. I want more floral pieces as well besides the specific pieces I mentioned. I have several ear and cartilage piercings and I’m not planning on any body piercings besides my nose.

I am generally a big advocate for peace, equality, kindness, etcetera, and I mean that wholeheartedly. It takes a whole lot to get me messy and/or violent or mean. I’m very supportive and understanding and accepting of all things- besides legitimately morally wrong things that I don’t even want to name here. I’ll just say I’m lgbt+ supporting (and a member), BLM supporting, race issue awareness supporter, accepting and understanding of all genders sexualities religions backgrounds disabilities mental health issues etc, sexual assault and abuse awareness supporter and a victim, a mental and physical health advocate, against euthanasia and for TNR, am working towards HR work to better help the workforce and also working towards child advocacy and animal rights.

**

Aaaalllrighty, I think that’s more than enough. Thank you if you read much of any of that, feel free to inbox me or ask me anything, and please PLEASE if you have advice about the products I would need for writing and drawing please let me know!! I really want to get back into it and share my works.

Thank you!

Cat gif for tax (jammin)

[megidoreyn]

Heyyy it's about the art questions

I would like to know your answer in 18 (the purpose) and 22 (artspiration).

I would also ask 3 but I'd completely understand if you prefer not to answer

The rest are already answered

Hope you have a great month. ;D

Hey there! Thanks for the questions!

⭐️3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand

→ It was a real trip down memory lane to look back on some of these, but here's a sample of some old things from 2021-early 2022! (Prior to posting on social media in Aug 2022) Back then, I didn't have any real incentive to improve my art outside of drawing quick sketches like the pictures above. I had issues being cleanly (due to lack of motivation), committing to learning character details, and more LOL. →Fun fact, I drew on a very tiny 11 inch screen 4GB RAM laptop with horrible color calibration for about 3 years until finally getting something better in early 2022 too LOL. It might be noticeable in some of the above pictures with the color choices being a little too light or too saturated, LOL.

→As also seen at the bottom of this post, It might come as a surprise that I also draw fanart for my favorite assorted fandoms outside of megaten too, LOL. I just never post it in public since they're meant as warm-up doodles!

To be honest, 2020 thru late 2022 was a very low point in my life. I had given up on all creative endeavors at the time due to: My career, being diagnosed with a bodily issue of which the effects I still deal with even today, and other personal issues.

It truly wasn't until late 2022 (when I started posting online) that I truly felt confident picking up my tablet pen again and view art in a more positive light…!

NGL I had written out my entire life story here but ended up deleting it--it would have made this post terribly long regardless LOL💦 Perhaps it'll be a story for another time, though!!🙏 And it absolutely has to do with why the Samurai husbands mean lot to me!

⭐️18. What is your purpose for drawing?

→ That's a good question! For me, (especially due to my visual agnosia) it'd have to be the ability to draw whatever comes to mind with skill and precision. To not hold back and draw whatever comes into your mind's eye without fear or hesitation from others (or your own critical inner voice)… And to be able to properly convey the meaningful themes of your work as clearly as they come into your mind... That, to me, is true freedom.

➡️As for BL content: Despite not posting much of it in public (yet), my purpose in drawing BL (or OTP content in general) is to transmit feelings of love + warmth in my art! To depict tenderness, warmth, and love with affectionate, natural-looking body language to make it as believable + realistic as possible...That's always been my goal! →The world is a scary place out there. Though, if my OTP content can make someone feel a slight glimmer of peace, tranquility, or even hope to keep moving forward...then I'll be incredibly happy!🙏💕 It's always my intention to convey nothing but sweet wholesome vibes and warmth with my pictures, and I truly hope that feeling comes across too. ➡️I'll be super candid and say I actually really enjoy angst and raunchy content as much as everyone else! But drawing wholesome + sweet characters in love just comes much sooo much easier and naturally as breathing to me, LOL. Just because I don't post angst or raunchy things, doesn't mean I dislike it! ☝️

⭐️22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”

→ I tend to gravitate towards professional artists with thick painting (厚塗り) coloring styles, dynamic illustrations, and artists that have a strong grasp of anatomy, character design and storytelling! It's hard to pick just one, so here's a brief selection of ones that come up at the top of my head right now!

Thanks again for the questions! Have a wonderful January and rest of your 2024 as well!✨🌟

[hellish-inferno]

Past pretense

Prompt: So, Brenda drew fanart and I just stepped in like 'hey, what if I wrote something for that'- And this happened. Dare I say, enjoy?

Description:  Completely based on this fanart in particular. Dion and Joshua are rivals on the tracks, on paper and on magazines- Whatever happens outside of there, though, is for them alone to deal with. Rating: T (they get handsy and they very much kiss [hard])

Couple: PhoenixFlare (Dion/Joshua) - FFXVI

Words: 1345

The weather forecast hadn’t been merciful that morning: with the temperatures predicted to skyrocket way past the season’s standards, the upcoming preparations for the race were promising to be a veritable nightmare to get through, not only due to how busy the track would get, but also thanks to the seeming jitteriness that overcame people whenever the heat broke certain unspoken and unwritten limits.

While he normally did relatively well under the sweltering heat of the Sun, Joshua had to admit that the Dhalmekian summer hit a little bit differently than the Rosarian seasons he was so accustomed to- The rays felt heavier somehow, not caressing his skin, but rather dragging their invisible hands along his face, making him huff in dismay as a result. As if that weren’t enough to sour his mood to an extent, there was also the fact that he couldn’t seem to find Dion anywhere and that little game of hide-and-seek wasn’t exactly a balm for his tension, if anything, it made him feel even more stretched taut, frustration brewing under his skin and making his suit feel uncomfortable, almost cumbersome to wear- Not that it had ever been particularly nice to wear under horrid heat, but the more he walked around the garage, the more he felt like scratching his skin off in an attempt to find some manner of relief.

They had been pretty much forced to wear their suits for the sake of taking pictures for the one gods-forsaken magazine that would always put them on the front cover, thus there was no real way for them to turn the request down- Not when it was pretty much free advertisement for them. However, while Joshua had been stuck wearing the entire set for two long, exhausting hours (because of course they couldn’t stop at a photo or two, they had to go through an entire photoshoot worth of poses), Dion had been somewhat blessed with the chance of undoing the top part of his suit, because the photographer had insisted that a few ‘in the workshop’ inspired photos would do absolutely great.

It had taken all of Joshua’s self-imposed composure to ask what about a very, very shirtless Dion screamed ‘workshop’ to them, but he bit his tongue and pretended not to see, nor to care. If they wanted to parade him around like some manner of prized horse at a fair, they were welcome to do so away from his eyes.

However, once that obnoxious part of the photoshoot had ended, it seemed as his rival had all but disappeared into thin air, leaving everyone around with a single, pressing question:

Where the hell was Dion Lesage?

The man was many things, but funny was never an adjective Joshua would’ve used to describe him. ‘Irritating’ was a fitting one, maybe ‘annoying’ could also fit the bill, ‘smug’ perhaps- But never funny. And he seriously doubted he’d grown a sense of humor in the span of the three weeks that had separated them before this hellish photoshoot.

(Three weeks, three unbearably frustrating weeks.)

Whether it had been his irritation, or divine intervention, Joshua didn’t know for sure, but the moment he turned the corner, set on going back to his station, a hand shot out from one of the offices and dragged him inside: a normal man, any other man, would’ve yelped out in panic, would’ve fought against being manhandled in such a way, but Joshua was all too aware of who had just slammed his back against the wall (how very rough of him) and thus didn’t put up any sort of fight- Not yet, not when he’d been dying to be pressed between concrete and a body nearly as warm as his own.

“It took you long enough. Didn’t you pride yourself in always being on time…?”

“You know the journalists pushed that on me. That’s simply called being decent and not making everyone wait for you.”

Dion was an extremely patient man, with a mind often veering into strategy rather than blind instinct, so it made sense to think that he’d been biding his time, waiting inside that half-unused office for his chance to strike and catch Joshua off-guard. Prolonging the wait, making himself scarce, it had all worked in Dion’s favour, making his ‘arch-rival’ feel frustrated, thus forcing him to be less alert and… That’s exactly how he ended up in his current position, with heavy hands gripping at his hips and amber eyes boring into his own, burning so bright he could’ve considered blaming him for the rising temperature outside.

“Are you quite done staring, then?” Prodding the blond man was one of his favourite pastimes, feeling a twinge of pride every time he managed to wear down the resistance he was so well known for- And no one but him would ever get to see the walls crumble, the control slipping away from his eyes as he leaned forward, pressing their lips together in a kiss that had little more to it than teeth and grunts. Who would ever believe him if he said that Dion Lesage, controlled and beautiful as a statue when on the track, would turn into a hungry, starving beast when pushed in the right direction?

In the back of his head, Joshua regretted not having had the time, or rather the presence of mind, of taking his gloves off while wandering aimlessly in the corridors- Dion’s skin was right there, covered in a very light sheen of sweat that nearly begged to be touched, to be felt, but taking his hands away completely would mean wasting precious time, time they didn’t have, and thus, some sacrifices had to be made.

(But he would make sure to spend an inordinate amount of time just touching Dion next time they got to be together.

Whenever that would be.)

Joshua had little interest in talking further, but the moment his right hand found purchase in Dion’s hair (giving it a well-deserved pull, making the other man groan into the kiss), he felt a very familiar obstacle hindering his fingers and he could not, for the life of him, avoid the annoyed noise that escaped his throat. “I hate your sunglasses so much.” That cursed set was always, always neatly perched on top of Dion’s annoyingly perfect hair (as if wearing a helmet didn’t factor in at all) and every time, without fail, Joshua would end up colliding with them somehow- Even so, Dion sternly refused to remove them.

“Oh, just as much as you hate me, I’d wager.” The man had the gall, no, the audacity to smirk even with their lips still half-pressed together, but he swiftly made Joshua forget all about the sunglasses the moment he slid his hands lower, pressing fingers into the redhead’s backside with enough strength to make him feel it even through the layers of clothes and then lifting him off the ground with nary a grunt of effort, keeping his back firmly pressed against the wall as a manner of support. There was something about being moved like that, something Joshua couldn’t put into words, but that tickled some part of his head beautifully, making him moan somewhat harder than when being groped- Was it the show of strength in itself, or perhaps the beauty of being wanted so bad?

Despite his head feeling hazy from the kissing, Joshua still had it in him to pull at Dion’s hair once again, forcing him to tilt his head back just enough for their eyes to meet again- And it was a miracle that the air between their faces didn’t catch on fire.

“Today-“ Oh, why did he have to sound so breathless? “You will eat my dust, Lesage.”

“Why settle for the dust, when there’s much richer prizes I could sink my teeth into?” Dion’s hold on his rear had tightened considerably, punctuating his words in such a way that Joshua couldn’t really bite back an almost embarrassing gasp. “Wouldn’t you find that so much more enjoyable, too?”

“Gods, you’re such a braggart.”

[kanonavi]

I was tagged by @radellama like a month ago! Even if I don't always keep up with these I still appreciate it <3

~

Why did you choose your URL?

It's a combination of a couple of old jokes I had from middle school, the older of which was actually kind of a mean thing that I won't get into. However, KanoNavi was the second iteration of my old url FritoNavi, and because it rolled off the tongue better I decided to just switch to that full time.

2. Any sideblogs? If so, name them and why you have them.

I've tried sideblogs a couple times in the past, but they never stuck. I prefer to keep everything in one place, even if it means bombarding my non-Genshin mutuals with Genshin all the time (Sorry guys, thanks for sticking with me lol <3)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

My archive goes back to 2017, but I did change URLs once so I think I might have started in 2016? Sometime around there.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Nope, I've only used the queue once or twice for particular timed posts.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Before tumblr, I was on DeviantArt to follow Splatoon fanartists, and some of them mentioned having Tumblr so I decided to join that too!

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Venti's been my personality for like 3 years now, and this is one of my favorite fanarts of him (I love his smile, he's so delightful <3)

7. Why did you choose your header?

It was a piece done by my good friend and roommate Ham! Their artstyle is like candy for the eyes, I just want to eat it I love it so much ehe (Please go check them out along with the artist who drew my pfp, both of them are linked in my bio!)

8. What's your post with the most notes?

My meta on Simulanka Day 3 actually passed 100 notes (it has 124 as of this posting), which is absolutely crazy. I'm planning to do kind of a follow-up to that once I work up the spoons because there was some contention in my replies and also Natlan acts 1 and 2 have given me some ideas, so look forward to that I guess lol

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I don't really keep track, but I think that not counting irls I have at least 10? (love you guys mwah mwah <3)

10. How many followers do you have!

105 (i love you guys too mwah)

11. How many people do you follow?

129

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Sometimes I've commented about life in a jokey manner, but nothing I would consider a serious shitposting attempt

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

This thang is like the refrigerator to me (derogatory). Cumulatively tho it's probably only a little over an hour per day because my dash isn't the most active.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Not that I can recall?? Maybe early on, but it's been too long for me to say.

15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

No.

16. Do you like tag games!

Yeah!

17. Do you like ask games!

Yeah, even though I always feel like I'm being attention-seeking when I reblog them :pensive emoji:

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

None of them, sorry guys. I know Rads probably has clout in the Chrono Trigger fandom though, so that has to count for something?? lmao

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nah, but I have platonic crushes on y'all for being so damn cool <3

20. Tags:

@rubberbandballqueen, @stardustdiiving, @tempests-bards-and-birds