#I never really used that account for personal postings
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i finally found an account sharing the positive reviews ( by viewers ) for LOCH. thank you to this person for compiling✨
i posted a thoughts piece on here about some issues surrounding the movie’s release and as i mentioned there, i will be sharing the good reviews on here as they come, and now here it is. there is a lot from the reposts of OP so i will just share a couple. enjoy ^^
riddled with spoilers so be warned. ❌❌❌
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I don't know why the sequels of the IPs in the Spring Festival did not achieve the effect I expected, but The Legend of the Condor Heroes exceeded my expectations. I have watched several of Tsui Hark's movies, and my impression of him is that he is a romantic martial arts old man. After watching The Legend of the Condor Heroes, I think this is even more true. Tsui Hark is really romantic. His lens language has its own characteristics, which is implicit and magnificent. These two somewhat contradictory words can be expressed in the movie The Legend of the Condor Heroes. It is not an exaggeration to say that Tsui Hark is the best.
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The movie The Legend of the Condor Heroes is a very good work. I had low expectations because I saw many people dislike it on Weibo. I watched it based on the idea that I must watch all five movies in the Spring Festival, but The Legend of the Condor Heroes gave me a big surprise.
I have been crying since I saw Huang Rong masked and saw Guo Jing crying. The Legend of the Condor Heroes moved me. I cried for the love that accompanies each other through life and death. This silent love moved me very much. I cried that Guo Jing's mother committed suicide to protect the country so as not to drag Guo Jing down. I cried that Guo Jing did not forget his homeland after decades in Mongolia. I thought of the overseas Chinese, most of whom care about their motherland. If the motherland is in trouble, they will come back across the ocean.
I admire Tsui Hark so much. The shots are so beautiful and the love is so romantic. In Tsui Hark's writing, life is so beautiful. The only regret is that Huang Rong in my heart is more cunning and beautiful than Zhuang Dafei.
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this next one is explaining the idea behind this specific scene that some people are ridiculing. cause they are expecting a big battle to happen.
The painting on the left shows the scene of Chinese soldiers guarding the border, and on the right is a picture of Guo Jing fighting against the Mongolian army. Several Chinese soldiers opened their arms to show their firm determination to defend the country's territorial sovereignty. Guo Jing was also firm in the face of foreign troops. What's wrong with this? This action is actually the first reaction in an emergency. What's wrong with this design? He is well aware of his own insignificance. Guo Jing will not use brutal killing to fight against the Mongolian army, but the Khan is not stupid. He did not retreat because he was moved. He saw Guo Jing's lethality and his own army was also demoralized, so he retreated. He didn't understand this.
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Not a fan, a brief review of The Legend of the Condor Heroes. I took my parents to watch The Legend of the Condor Heroes. The first half was bland, but the second half was exciting, with many big scenes and great special effects. I was attracted by Xiao Zhan's looks before, but this time his makeup made people pay more attention to his acting skills. I think his acting is OK, his lines are also very good, and his Mongolian is well received. The heroine is cute when she smiles, but Hua Zheng is too outstanding and overshadows the heroine as soon as she appears. Tony Leung Ka Fai is worthy of being the best actor. After watching this drama, I am a fan of Ouyang Feng. I have watched too many movies in the past two years and I am aesthetically fatigued. Xu Ke's martial arts films are eye-opening.
The righteousness of the country and the family is a belief that integrates the blood of the Chinese people and will never go out of date. The show I watched was basically full, and most of them came with their parents. I don't mean to say that other movies are bad. It is true that most of my parents are more interested in Xu Ke's martial arts. The end credits of the movie came out, and everyone didn't leave until it was completely over. Most people should be satisfied. At least for me, leaving the heated room and going out in the cold, I would be really angry if I spent money to watch a movie and it was not good. but I think The Legend of the Condor Heroes is worth watching. Finally, I want to complain about the official promotion. The highlight scenes are not used for promotion at all!
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Finally, let's talk about "The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Greatest Hero". Tsui Hark is the best martial arts film director. The war scene between the two armies is simply too shocking!
The first 10 minutes are more than just grand and spectacular, it's simply going to blow the world away. Thousands of horses galloping and dust flying, the visual impact is so strong that it is worthy of being written by Tsui Hark.
The following story is full of romantic love and ruthless killing, and the huge contrast of alternating performances is like ice and fire.
What is the greatest hero? In order to protect one side, he is willing to give up everything and never bend. Whether it is against thousands of troops or fighting against Ouyang Feng, the Western Poison, Guo Jing and Huang Rong are both brave and courageous. Both the emotional drama and the fighting scenes are brilliant.
Guo Jing, portrayed by Xiao Zhan, has changed his previous image of being stupid and dull, and his resolute and vigorous spirit is refreshing.
Huang Rong, played by Zhuang Dafei, is no longer the wild girl who only knows how to cheat and deceive people. When it comes to the crucial moment, she is as brave as a man.
The performances of many supporting roles, such as Ouyang Feng played by Tony Leung Ka Fai and Hua Zheng played by Zhang Wenxin, are all outstanding.
Tsui Hark is undoubtedly the golden signboard of martial arts films. From the popular "Unbeatable in the East" to the benchmark-setting "New Dragon Inn", to today's classic, the overall performance of the actors, the extraordinary audio-visual feast, and the interpretation of the spirit of chivalry have all reached a level that amazes the audience.
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Tsui Hark's film "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" is quite a pleasant surprise. It restores many of the main characters and plots of the original novel "The Legend of the Condor Heroes". The visual impact is particularly shocking. It is indeed a masterpiece of Tsui Hark's martial arts. The movie is exciting. It not only has touching national justice, but also romantic love, the cruelty of war, and the pain of the people being displaced.
At the end of the plot, Guo Jing's dialogue with Genghis Khan clearly explains what the chivalrous spirit of "the greatest hero" is. It is not only reflected in the high martial arts, but more importantly, it is to have feelings and righteousness, care about the world, and be able to stand up in times of national crisis without considering personal safety and gains and losses. The value of "the greatest hero, for the country and the people" will make people cherish the precious peaceful environment now. When the familiar melody sounded, the call of "Brother Jing" and "Rong'er" instantly pulled back the highlights of the past years, and I couldn't help but think of the green years and college classmates chasing the TV series "The Legend of the Condor Heroes".
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Recommend "The Legend of the Condor Heroes", full house, more than half of them are from Hong Kong - three friends from the Greater Bay Area to Beijing and Xiangyang to watch the movie. In general, Tsui Hark's version of The Legend of the Condor Heroes still has his own distinctive style, especially the final game between Guo Jing and Ouyang Feng, which is very exciting. I was also very moved after watching it. The martial arts finally returned with the spirit of chivalrous and brave heroes. This spirit is not only needed in martial arts, but also in our era and this world. People like this are still needed to achieve and write.
A friend who works in the Greater Bay Area, "The Great Righteousness of Heroes and the Family Governing the Country and the World" - Watching "The Legend of the Condor Heroes"
I took the time to watch "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" today. Before the movie started, I made two surprising discoveries. The audience was almost full, and most of them were from Hong Kong. (Since I have lived, worked and studied in Hong Kong since the early 1990s, I can distinguish Hong Kong people and Hong Kong dialect.)
Therefore, Jin Yong's martial arts novels, TV and movies are the memories that accompanied my best years. Through his characters, Jin Yong explored themes such as loyalty, love, friendship, power, and desire, showing his deep understanding of human nature. But after watching the movie today, I have a deeper feeling than the chivalry of the martial arts world and the righteousness of the country.
In the movie, through the different levels of emotional interactions between Guo Jing and Huang Rong, between the master and the apprentice, and between the Mongolian brothers, I felt their deep friendship and chivalry. These have been the indispensable spiritual core of Chinese culture since ancient times. The chivalrous not only violates the law with force, but also walks the world with righteousness. They value their promises and put their lives aside, help the poor and the needy, and use their personal strength to maintain social fairness and justice.
In the movie, there was a dialogue between Guo Jing and the Khan on the battlefield that made me feel deeply. The Khan stared at Guo Jing and said, "I regret not giving you a Mongolian name." Guo Jing firmly replied, "Even if I have a Mongolian name, I still remember that my name is Guo Jing." ... ... The righteousness of chivalry is not only reflected in the protection of the weak, but also in the loyalty to the country and the nation. Such a deep-rooted sense of identity with the nation and the country. Throughout history, those Chinese compatriots who have made great achievements overseas and still resolutely repay their motherland are not so chivalrous!
I saw some comments online saying that this movie can be renamed "Guo Jing Chasing His Wife"... Most of them are negative comments. In fact, as an ordinary citizen, the first thing is of course the love for family and friends. If he can't love his family and handle the small family and small feelings well, how can he manage his family, govern the country and bring peace to the world? Managing the family means family harmony and a correct family style; governing the country means national stability and political clarity; bringing peace to the world means pursuing the great harmony of the world and the happiness of all people.
This concept emphasizes that the thoughts that Guo Jing's mother instilled in him since he was a child have always revolved around the gradual process of individuals, families, and then countries, and finally achieving world peace. This is also an important concept in Confucianism. I think the film team should have a very good understanding and grasp of the central idea and spirit expressed in this film. I think this is different from the previous films of Xu Laoguai, which are more profound thoughts.
The righteousness of chivalry and governing the country and bringing peace to the world by managing the family seem to belong to different fields, but in fact they have a profound internal connection. The righteous deeds of chivalrous people often start with the responsibility for the family, and then expand to the responsibility for the country and the nation. The righteousness of chivalry is the spiritual foundation of governing the country and bringing peace to the world by managing the family. Without the righteous deeds of chivalrous people, it is difficult for the family to be harmonious, the country to be stable, and the world to be peaceful.
In the long river of history, countless chivalrous people have promoted the progress of society with their righteous deeds. They may be hidden in the market or prominent in the court, but all of them put righteousness first and take the world as their responsibility. Their spirit has inspired generations of Chinese people to strive for the ideal of governing the country and bringing peace to the world by managing the family.
Today, we still need the righteousness of chivalry. In the process of modernization, social fairness and justice still need everyone to maintain. Each of us can become a chivalrous person, act righteously in the world, start from the family, and then influence the society, promote the progress of the country, and finally realize the ideal of universal peace.
The righteousness of chivalry and governing the country and bringing peace to the world by managing the family are not only the inheritance of history, but also our responsibility and mission today. Let us shoulder the responsibility of governing the country and bringing peace to the world with the spirit of a knight, and jointly create a better future.
In general, Tsui Hark's version of The Legend of the Condor Heroes shows the details and emotions of Jin Yong's original work, and still has his own distinctive style, especially the final game between Guo Jing and Ouyang Feng, which is very exciting and touching. The martial arts finally returned with the spirit of chivalrous and brave heroes. This spirit is not only needed in martial arts, but also in our era and this world. Such people are still needed to achieve and write.
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this one is very long and goes into detail about some plot points so feel free to go to the source.
Maybe it’s because I’ve praised The Legend of the Condor Heroes too much. Now in the information cocoon of Weibo, Weibo keeps pushing reviews of The Legend of the Condor Heroes to me. They are all overwhelmingly criticizing Director Tsui Hark and Xiao Zhan, and some of them are very fierce.
As I said in my last Weibo post, the quality of this movie has nothing to do with Xiao Zhan. He is Director Tsui Hark’s graphic tool man, and he has fulfilled his duties as an actor. There is not much to criticize in his acting, lines, and actions. Perhaps the only thing that can be blamed on him is that he is not a martial arts actor. If he or the other two or three leading actors had martial arts skills, Director Tsui Hark might not have made this movie, which was promoted as a "martial arts", almost completely without decent martial arts scenes, only fantasy qigong scenes like in cartoons. But it’s not Xiao Zhan’s fault.
So is the quality of Director Tsui Hark’s screenwriting and directing so bad that he is trampled on like this? As a literary youth who has watched countless movies since childhood and a semi-professional novelist, from my appreciation point of view, this movie is indeed not well made. But it’s not that bad. At least my 2 hours of time was not completely wasted. At least 30 to 40 minutes were high-quality viewing time. But it requires more thinking to understand.
In this final climax, the overall logic is very good, and Xiao Zhan's facial expression when he spread his arms, and the lines in Mongolian and Chinese are also very good. The biggest failure is that Huang Rong should not stand beside him. Who is Huang Rong? What is her relationship with the opposing army? Is there any emotional connection of life and death? Nothing. It is unwise for Huang Rong to stand beside him, which greatly weakens the logic behind this contradictory confrontation and the shocking effect of the scene. In addition, it also greatly weakens the charm of Guo Jing as the protagonist in this decisive scene. I don’t know if this big failure is the decision of director Tsui Hark or because of some inexplicable reasons of the investors.
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this is also very long but i will share the part about XZ and GJ.
After watching the movie with Jin Yong fans, I agreed that this version is quite innovative in shaping the character of Guo Jing compared to other versions, with less naivety and more maturity and perseverance. Xiao Zhan's interpretation of this version is sincere and decisive, and he became Guo Jing in the story in a rounded and non-sharp way.
I know a lot about the story, as an audience, I was not distracted for a minute during the movie. There was only the character of Guo Jing in the movie. What I still remember is Hua Zheng's description of Guo Jing: "You will know when you see him." Yes, you will definitely feel it when you see him in the movie world. Yes, this is Guo Jing. He is chivalrous and will never betray justice.
In addition, Xu Ge also respects female characters, and his favorite characters have always transcended the concept of gender. The adaptation of the rooftop confrontation between Huang Rong and Hua Zheng is very exciting. Female characters are no longer based on "who", but are more independent. My division is attacking in the south and will attack Xiangyang. I know that you are loyal to the country and risk your life to report it. I am sorry for your mother's tragic death, and I am ashamed to see you again. I have gone to the remote west to rely on my elder brother, and I will never set foot on my homeland again. May you take good care of yourself and live a long and happy life. The casting of Hua Zheng is extremely suitable for the free and easy and bloody nature of the grassland heroine that is highly summarized in the letter she gave to Guo Jing in the original work, which is very moving.
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First of all, I am not a fan of Xiao Zhan. I started to pay attention to Xiao Zhan because of a little girl who came to my company for internship a few years ago.
Secondly, there were so many people watching the movie. I watched it in the Dolby Hall today, and except for the first two rows, it was basically full. When everyone was waiting to be seated, they actually lined up at the door of the theater. I haven't seen it for many years.
Thirdly, I give the movie 8 points. I feel that the plot can be fuller (I vaguely feel that it has been cut), and Huang Rong is a little bit worse, although I like the last shot of Huang Rong pulling Guo Jing up to make a protective posture, which perfectly reflects that "Guo Jing is Huang Rong's world".
The last point is the reason why I strongly recommend it:
as a generation that grew up reading Jin Yong's novels. This version of Guo Jing should be the Guo Jing in Mr. Jin Yong's mind.
In the novel, Guo Jing is the character that Genghis Khan's daughter loves but cannot get and never marries. He is the character that Huang Yaoshi's daughter, who is proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, falls in love with at first sight. He is the character that all upright masters are willing to teach their lifelong skills.
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I watched The Legend of the Condor Heroes and here are 9 thoughts, some good and some bad. Please forgive me if I said something wrong:
1. The big scenes are quite good and magnificent, and must be praised.
2. Xiao Zhan is the most handsome Guo Jing in history, and his appearance is good, heroic and upright.
3. The greatest heroes protect the country and the people. Guo Jing rode alone to stop tens of thousands of Mongolian cavalry, and said to the Khan, "Heroes must have compassion..." This is Tsui Hark's public evaluation of heroes through the movie, which is very bold. If you don't see this, you underestimate Tsui Hark.
4. Hua Zheng's actor is well chosen, and everyone loves her. Guo Jing has no reason to refuse the marriage.
5. In the final battle, the Western Poison became a demon, and "martial arts" became "demon skills", which is a bit too much.
6. Huang Rong's spirit is gone, which makes people wonder how she can become the leader of the Beggars' Sect. But Zhuang's appearance is still okay.
7. There are more shots of Guo Jing's mother.
8. For some plots, such as the reunion of Guo Jing and Huang Rong, there is no need to go against the original work. Jin Yong wrote about the world of martial arts! It would be great to film it as it is, with lightning rods and dark rainy nights, which is so disgusting.
9. The old songs of The Legend of the Condor Heroes are very good, at least they set off a small part of the atmosphere and feelings. Classics cannot be surpassed, no matter how great the AI can be, which makes people feel gratified about the future of art in the AI era.
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The first movie for this year's Spring Festival was the most popular "The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Greatest Hero". As a post-80s generation, I believe that many people, like me, have a strong obsession with The Condor Heroes, and also have their own images of Guo Jing and Huang Rong that suit them best. I was quite surprised that Xiao Zhan and Zhuang Dafei's interpretation of Huang Rong and Guo Jing exceeded my imagination. Guo Jing's persistence and honesty, and Huang Rong's eccentricity are all vividly portrayed on the screen.
The most moving part of the whole play is the handling of the conflict in the core plot, the national sentiment reflected by Guo Jing when he was faced with the choice between family affection and righteousness in the end, and his mother Li Ping's death in the face of national justice, all reflect the theme of the whole play - the greatest hero.
The ending of the story handles the plot between affection and righteousness very well, which is also a plus for this film
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AND TO THE LUCKY ONES WHO HAVE WATCHED IT VIA INTERNATIONAL SCREENINGS, I encourage you to make your own reviews & share it ✨😊
#xiao zhan#loch#legend of the condor heroes#time will tell the truth especially during awards season 😌😌😌
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adding to this as a Late To The Party queer person who also just reread TRC:
i second everything in this post. it took me nearly 2 decades to realize i wasn’t into men. looking back on my life, i attribute this largely to the fact that i was way too busy being a Gifted Kid ™️ who also played elite sports and barely had time to eat, let alone consider my own identity.
those things were always true about me: i just didn’t see them for what they were until i actually had time for myself, got out into the world and had experiences that showed me those things.
i was into women the entire time. but until i actually met another queer woman, it never occurred to me that there was any explanation for what i felt beyond “this girl is my friend. that’s why i like her so much.”
i was never into men. but until i actually tried to kiss one and hated it it never occurred to me that there might’ve been an explanation for my lack of interest in them besides “i’m very busy playing elite junior sports and carrying a full ap course load.”
so it doesn’t at all surprise me that in the midst of working 3 jobs, dealing with abusive father, striking a bargain with a magical sentient forest, hunting for a dead welsh king, AND going to school, adam parrish didn’t exactly have a minute to consider that maybe he liked ronan’s attention for other reasons.
adam tells us straight up that he enjoys ronan’s crush because it makes him feel worthy of admiration—and he’d never felt admired that way before. that’s a far more plausible explanation than “i am also queer.” and while it probably does account for some of his feelings, adam Does Not Have The Time to look at it any closer. he’s literally being possessed while he tries to finish his senior year of high school!
then ronan kisses him, and he likes it???? what?? i think many queer people have this moment, where we can pinpoint the exact moment that we realized we’d been in denial the whole time, or just hadn’t been able to see the whole truth. because before an actual kiss, there were reasonably plausible heterosexual explanations for everything we’d felt prior. it’s not until something happens for which there is no heterosexual explanation that we start to go hm. perhaps i missing something.
this happened to alex in rwrb. he could easily explain away his obsession with henry by telling himself and everyone else that he hated henry because he was snobby and british and had been annoying to him one time. why would alex look any closer at this scenario? his mother, the POTUS, is fighting for re-election against a very conservative candidate. she doesn’t need her son to be queer. then henry kisses him, he likes it, and there is no heterosexual explanation for that.
and of course, as we said, with adam. he was able to explain away enjoying ronan’s crush, had no desire to examine his feelings any further because of Life ™️, and then suddenly he’s making out with ronan and he likes it and oh wait there’s no heterosexual explanation for this!
so yeah. it makes a lot of sense. queer people under a great deal of outside pressure usually take a minute to realize they’re queer. something has to happen to trip the wires. it’s kind of sad but very true. re-reading trc, i’m actually really impressed with how maggie wrote adam and ronan’s arc. it’s very much authentic to what a lot of us experience.
there’s a very clear contrast between queer people who grew up in pressure cookers and queer people who grew up affirmed and supported like ronan did. whether he ever came out to his parents or not, ronan was always told he was loved and powerful. so facing his own queerness would’ve been a much easier pill for him to swallow than adam. i imagine he saw declan start flirting with girls, thought “girls? really? ew. no.” and that was that. ronan was gay, there was nothing that could be done to change that, so fuck you if you didn’t like it. but when niall dies and he loses his support system and he has to figure out his powers on his own, dating promptly goes to the bottom of his priority list. that is, until adam. until he has the gangsey as a support system.
TL;DR, it’s very hard to live an authentic an authentic life if all your energy is going towards survival. no shit adam parrish is unknowable. he doesn’t have time to learn.
I’ve been musing on adam’s sexuality and I know some folks feel like he’s been bi the whole time but having just done a deep pynch-focused dive through the books, I actually think adam hadn’t realized that he was into ronan Like That until they kissed. like he obviously knew ronan was into him (and actually, knew ronan was gay since like, the beginning of trb probably), but he had sort of convinced himself that the reason he enjoyed it was vanity/attention. and right before and after the kiss we get the line “adam didn’t understand anything” which feels to me like he hadn’t even comprehended this was a thing he wanted until he was doing it.
and that’s actually a very common queer experience, especially for folks who are interested in multiple genders, especially when they’re young.
so adam, despite wanting to know everything and being the perceptive one, has these increasingly big moments of ���I feel like I’m missing some data here” but the data he needed was the actual experience of kissing ronan/making the conscious decision to kiss ronan again and THEN he has his eureka moment. And he can look back at the moments where he found his Latin teacher hot, or when he put a picture of an attractive man in his glove box and realize he was bi the whole time.
#i feel like adams journey to bisexuality is a lot like alex’s in rwrb#<- from OP#literally a perfect comparison#trc#pynch#june’s trc reread#meta
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So this is an odd question but I wondered if you could help me with a poll or just your opinion?
So, I'm American and I desperately need Rammstein posters for my walls and the only official Rammstein poster I have been able to get is the one from the Zick Zack Magazine. The paper is super thin and it wasn't printed correctly so it looks all wonky on my walls. Rammstein shop does sell posters but they don't ship to America and I haven't found any other official ways to get my hands on more posters.
Would it be acceptable to print my own? I feel bad ordering one of my favorite photo(s) and not supporting the band directly but I literally cannot find any other posters anywhere other than from weird scam sites. I've found some on TEMU but I can't buy from there with a clean conscious...
I'm not sure if you could help, but I had to ask a veteran in this fandom before I did anything. I also wondered if it would be acceptable to order a print of an Emigrate photo since they also don't have any posters to get a hold of?
This was long and rambling and I apologize lol I love plastering my favorite bands on my walls, I've grown up doing it and the bands on my wall now aren't accurately displaying my current interests well enough. I was just wondering if it was possible to get like, an opinion from the Tumblr Ramm fans and vets here before I do anything that's looked down on by other fans. (I also have very little Rammstein merch because shipping is $30+ and it's very expensive so I've only been able to get a hold of a shirt and a few official merch pieces they sell on Amazon so I already feel incredibly guilty that I can't support them the way I'd love to)
Thanks so much in advance!!! I love you and your account and you were the biggest piece in my original journey of becoming a Rammstein fan in 2023 and I'm forever grateful for everything you do for us!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hey 👋🏻
Short answer: Just do it. There’s nothing better than covering your room with exactly the images you want on your walls.
Slightly longer answer:
That was my daily life back in my youth, and honestly, it still is. My room used to be filled with self-printed posters of bands, anime, series, actors... If I like an image and can’t find an official poster of it, I just order a print myself. Honestly, I never really thought about whether that meant I was supporting the band too little or not, because at the end of the day… they’re just posters? It’s much nicer to hang up your absolute favorite images rather than feeling "forced" to buy posters you don’t really like. Personally, I wouldn’t overthink this topic at all, but maybe I just think too pragmatically... or selfishly?
Here’s a little example of some images hanging in my living room - these definitely weren’t available as posters, as they are absolute masterpieces by @iinchicore. Before printing them, I asked them for permission, and they were kind enough to even send me the original files in higher resolution. I’m incredibly grateful for that and now have four of my favorite images framed above my dining table. 🤍 (The fairy lights cause some reflection, but I hope it's still visible).
While we're at it: I don't think you have to feel guilty in any way. Buy merch second hand, print your posters, make merch yourself!! I love self made merch, since you save money, can create exactly the things you like and still can support the band outwardly. Here's my backpack with a Sehnsucht patch @gothtoast painted for me, and little picture keychain thingies @soffuiii inspired me to do, since she posted her's a while ago:
Or make little bracelets! A popular hobby in some parts of this fandom, and another, somewhat subtle way to express your love for the band. Here are three I wear daily: the RZK one made the lovely @m---e---l for me (inspired by his pink hoodie and red cap combo), the Wilder Wein one was done by the dear @wizzardclown and the Paulchard one was made by me.
You see, there are so many ways to create stuff, it doesn't end with posters. Just do what you like and what brings you joy 🤍 And thank you for your kind words! It's a very big honour for me that I might have helped someone a little on their journey to become a fan 🤍🥹
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here it is: @cyanidebreath
my old dormant account, go forth and plunder
#lots of HTSD era stuff cause that had just came out right before I stopped using it#but if you back further. my god there's A LOT#I never really used that account for personal postings#which is why I made this one to be more 'personal' and diaryish#i logged a few times a few years back to try to get any mutuals I had over there to come over here#I think only a few did and idk if any but a few still follow me so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i don't remember what my opinions on things were back then so tread at your own peril#and I still listed my real name so... NAME REVEAL!!!!#aww I just realized the header is from when I saw them in 2017 🥹
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Okay already the single most annoying trend in Arcane discourse is emerging on this post which is the compulsive need to stack the characters onto some kind of moral leaderboard based on their perceived politics. Which is neither the point of the show nor the point of this post.
Silco is a horrible little rat man who has no qualms about using drug addiction and violence to control people and his being in a position of power is overall a net negative for Zaun (although no more than any of the other people who are gunning for the job) and he also is a revolutionary, in the objective, descriptive sense of wanting to change the existing political structure of Piltover and Zaun. Not all revolutions are social revolutions that rearrange the existing class structure. In fact the tensions between national identity and class loyalty are one of the main political divisions within many independence/national liberation movements; plenty of Marxists from oppressed nations have written about this.
Part of Silco's tragedy as a character is that I think he could have been a very different person in the midst of a thriving Zaunite nationalist movement, which theoretically could have held him accountable to the kind of broader vision of improving the lives of everyone in Zaun that he, Vander and Felicia seemed to be talking about in their youth. But there is no broader Zaunite nationalist movement, and an isolated revolutionary can quickly become frustrated, bitter, and self-serving.
Ekko is the single most unproblematically selfless, good-hearted character in the show and he absolutely has the most liberatory, egalitarian vision for how his particular small community is organized. And I also wouldn't call him a revolutionary, an anarchist, or a community leader of Zaun as a whole, beyond the scope of the Firelights. He has carved out a small space of what seems to be relative equality and compassion within the Firelights' commune, but that is a mitigation strategy for the inequalities of their society. It works on a small scale when there are enough resources to go around, but we see how precarious it can be when demand increases and their main resource, the tree, comes under threat. The Firelights are active in disrupting the distribution of Shimmer in what is more or less a gang war with Silco, but there is no indication that Ekko is trying to change the overarching political structure of Piltover and Zaun or even thinks that's possible. We don't really see enough of the Firelights' community to know exactly how it is run and how decisions are made. Ekko may very well have broader political ideas about how society as a whole should be structured but we don't hear them clearly articulated, which is why I hesitate to put a political label on him or almost any other character in the show.
This really deserves a longer meta that I will hopefully have time to write soon, but to me THE key to understanding the political landscape of Zaun in the show is the lack of broad collective struggle based around either class or national identity.
On a Doylist level I think this is because the show is written by liberals (again, I say this in a descriptive not pejorative sense) who don't believe revolutionary change is worth the risk of extremism, instability and violence it could produce--and, even if they did, never intended that to be the main plotline of the show.
On a Watsonian level, I think all of these characters living in the wake of a defeated uprising, culminating in the massacre on the Bridge of Progress, explains everything we see. What kind of political actions emerge when most people think successful collective struggle is impossible? Accommodation to power in the hopes of minimizing harm to those you care about, no matter how humiliating and unsustainable a strategy that is (Vander). Vigilante violence that may inspire admiration but is ultimately accountable to no one (Jinx). Looking to one lone hero as a figurehead instead of relying on political self-activity and self-organization (the Jinxers). Positioning yourself as a strongman who has the correct ideas and will do anything to accumulate the power necessary to execute them (Silco). Trying to make things better on a small scale for the immediate circle of people you care about and maybe a small part of the community you can impact (Ekko). None of these characters have a bulletproof strategy for broader social change because that is not the main focus of the show.
It’s very funny to me when people call young Silco an anarchist because he once threw a Molotov cocktail at a cop. That man is a bourgeois nationalist if I ever saw one. If anything he’s sort of a moderate developmentalist—a lot of the demands he lists out in his independence proposal are about economic sovereignty that would allow an independent Zaun to compete with Piltover as a trade nexus via the Hexgates. He wants a state and he wants to be at the top of it. This is not a commentary on the merits of anarchism or nationalism as ideologies, I just think it’s funny cause he’s one of the only characters in Arcane with a well-developed, self-aware set of politics and Smash The State ain’t it.
#arcane#silco#ekko#piltover#zaun#just!!! let everyone be contradictory and imperfect and interesting gdi!!!
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gotta stop checking tumblr before I have caffeine because all my principles fly out the window and i feel like i'm gonna start being an obnoxious asshole when i see people citing events in their book posts that literally did not happen :SOB:
#like it's not that deep and i will keep scrolling#but omg like are they doing it on purpose? LOL#like writing whole ass metas about stuff that didn't even happen in the book?#did they misremember it that hard or is it another victim of Book Telephone in which new fans read summaries and never pick up the book#the analyses become a copy of a copy of a copy like when artists use other art as a ref instead of referring to an actual human form lol#building all your fandom opinions on other ppl's opinions of other ppl's opinions when like not a single person actually read the book LOL#anyway this post is my placeholder for the 3 drafts i just wrote and decided to stop myself and drink a diet coke LOL#and like yes i recently did get blocked by someone for suggesting we let posts like this slide LMAO#and that post in particular was someone's opinion and questions about some stuff#not like whole cloth inventing scenes that didn't even happen!#im doing my best to soul search and evaluate my own character today LOL in case i was wrong#it really isnt that deep and im being accountable for my mental health by knowing it's only because im hangry and uncaffeinated
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The passage of time was sooo normal and kind to me this year guys qwq
#happy 2025#art summary#artists on tumblr#two of these are commisions and two are from artfight#I could not manage drawing alongside work and everything else that went awry this year qwq#yeah I made the scylla part three months ago and only manage to post anything about it now I#am so bad at this#I usually don't do new years resolutions but for this one I genuinely want to get better at promoting myself#especially since I'm out of work again#laid off like a true animator/gamer....#oh and that october mizi one is just an unfinished sketch I guess january akane having a bad time is also unfinished#never could manage to get it anywhere despite wanting to on account of the hair coming out reeeeally nice#I'm extremely proud of all my bigger pieces this year though#june and july ones hehe juri june and july#I never answered anyone on artfight and I feel so bad about it :'( participating on that was like#one of the last things I remember doing before time started passing normally again this year or well feeling better at least#and well as bad as it ended my time working was really great only routine that stuck around the whole year#and going out with my then coworkers felt really fancy and fun#I was able to save up a lot and want to use that to focus on personal projects this next year#......which is partly the reason I Need to study and practice getting better at promoing
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some of the potential in this
its like the phan twt videos. we can (in a filtered nonthreatening way) let them in on our goofs and japes that extend beyond a single post easy to show in a video. i wish this post was real rn so we could broadcast WT MD IF to all of phanniedom and find who did this
you know how we love their react videos cause its such a wonderful parasocial watching videos with my besties feel. dnp react to phannies react. we can do more layers
segment called "what is the weirdest place you have watched a dan and phil video"
all the little indirect ways they have impacted us that we wouldnt necessarily comment. both heartwarming and cringe. my first ever boy haircut where i brought in a pinof screenshot and got a Karen. the specific mutual follows ive carried across MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS AND PLATFORMS from when i was first in the phandom TEN YEARS AGO. the domino chain that led to me getting an award in high school for the best student from all the teachers in the english department based, humiliatingly, on the phanfic i didnt even bother to change names before submitting for assignments and at least one passionate essay defense of rpf.
get specific! about the themes and concepts of this current era!
i do think it would be kinda funny to watch someone squirm as dnp grill them like "how many words of phanfic DID you write". questions like that: not specific enough to be weird but pointed enough to tell them exactly what kind of parasocial demon theyre speaking to today
i'm generally fascinated by how attention online can feel like a single sentient creature. anyone who's ever been dogpiled knows this, for one example. when you're facing a wall of Commentary on something you've done, it's impossible to pull out just one person without really making a specific effort to do that. it's just the wall of opinions, and the Vibe of that wall. maybe it could be interesting to pull individual voices out of a crowd, this monolith that is "phannies" and the stereotypes that have grown up around us and examine them closer.
something about now that we're old, we understand them better. it's something, to be 24 and look at 2012 dan and be like oh. you're 21. that explains literally everything. when i was 12 back then, i could not have possibly gotten it but think i get it better now.
the playing field is more equal than its ever been, possibly? not fully equal & never will be obv but one would hope all of the following: we are more grown up/emotionally mature/willing to listen when they express boundaries, they are more stable careerwise and less scared of us leaving or turning on them or w/e (based on some comments in the suit podcast) and also they are no longer closeted
this is a persistent theme/unresolved trauma for me personally but i would wanna talk to them about what it was like to be the point of obsession for specifically an audience of overwhelmingly teen girls (at their peak. many of us are no longer girls etc), when "anything that teen girls like" is such a societally derided category. i got a lot of weird misogyny directed at me for talking about how much i loved watching dan and phil. how did they experience that? i think they must have in some ways, because misogyny and homophobia are so deeply entwined.
oogh this turned into projection city fast but feel free to add your own. what would you do if you were interviewed by dnp
i think the next step in the dnp mutual parasocial relationship journey should be them interviewing US
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thinking really hard about logging into my old tumblr acc after being gone for like a year and a half cause i stumbled upon a post that led me to my old mutuals and i teared up a lil </3 but also i feel so ashamed i left without saying a word to anyone aaaa
#like i genuinely feel so bad for simply disappearing from people's lives :c#i used to talk to some of them daily and like even had plans to see one of them on holiday to another country?? like that level of close#and then well my mental health went to shit i took a semester off uni and disappeared from my irl friends' lives too for a good 6 months#some of my mutuals had my ig and we followed each other but i also haven't really been there much since dissappearing last year so#but i just snooped into some of their accounts and seeeing what they're up to made me want to talk to them sooo bad#everyone was so cool and kind and i miss them so much it's just i feel so guilty and also don't even know if i'm able to mantain constant#contact and conversations with people now. like it's been even hard for me to stay in touch with my irl friends aaa#why must my brain hate me so much and not let me socialize !! i used to be such an extroverted person what the fuck happened!!#i know some of them messaged me worried and i felt so guilty for not responding but i saw those dms when i was very much deppressed#so i never answered and now i feel like it's too late GOD!!#anyways at least it was nice snooping and seeing how they're doing i genuinely wish them only good things they're fucking great#maybe i just need to suck it up and just go back and talk to people again but i get so overwhelmed just thinking about it!!#okay it's like 4 am i'm posting this and maybe deleting it in the morning sorry for the rant i just am feeling a lot !!
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Sometimes I just have to take a step back and remind myself that I cannot be trusted with social media because I would stalk people I get bad vibes from constantly. Literally one of my favorite hobbies is instructing my friends on exactly what to say when weird people get into their dms tryna scam them or something. I get far too much of a thrill from it
#I would be that one detective girl that people online talk about#Remind me to never download Instagram#I would not use it for a good cause#Or I would use it for a very good cause depending on who I decide has bad enough vibes#But I don't think that's really a good thing to put on my shoulders#funny#rambles#idk how to tag this#the urge to spy on people I have a gut feeling about is irresponsible sometimes#I can't even join public discord servers anymore I see one person who acts a little off and I'm in detective mode every time they talk#I just need to not give myself the opportunity lol#same thing used to happen with you tubers back when I was really into the gacha community#had a whole side account for when I wanted to investigate but didn't want anybody to recognize me#like.... I do too much.......#anyways this whole post barely makes sense so feel free to ignore me lol
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also though this dentist is genuinely the best dentist we've ever had.
she was really understanding about us having issues with toothpaste and we asked if she had any recommendations for alternatives we could try to see if those help and she gave us some options to look into so that's cool.
she also took our medical trauma into account and kept checking if we were okay throughout the appointment and asking if we needed to take breaks and we've never had a dentist do that before.
she warned us about what each tool would feel like too and actually warned us if something was going to be painful which like, I would in fact rather be warned that "this is going to be uncomfortable in this way" and "yeah this is gonna feel really bad for a few days but that's normal" than have someone try to reassure us that it won't be that bad only for it to get really painful.
our next appointment is to have a tooth removed and she explained the procedure to us and how that normally goes, and then we asked if we can take the tooth home afterwards and I can only assume from the look on her face that she's never been asked that before, but she was like "yeah I don't see why not, it is yours after all" so that's cool
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#happy posting#I am really glad she warned us that our mouth would be sore because holy shit she was not kidding#but also we've never had a filling that blends in so well with the rest of the tooth. you can't tell there's a filling there when you look#she put so much work into it and got us to check it before we left to make sure the texture was okay#it took twice as long as the appointments we've had for fillings in the past#we're so used to having dentists just kind of rush to get everything done and being really shitty about our anxiety#which like admittedly I am probably still gonna have issues with medical trauma stuff later because that's just how that is#but holy shit it's such a relief to have a dentist who very clearly wants to make you as comfortable as possible#and is obviously taking your trauma and health problems into account the entire time#we're also used to going to one appointment and the medical professional being great#but then being shitty in the next appointment once they realise we have complicated problems and trauma and stuff#but no she was just as nice and accommodating as last time which is gonna help a lot with feeling less anxious next time I think
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#U Have No Idea How Much I Miss Her.#i need to start actually drawinf again its been a hellish 6 months#its really easy to just fall out of the habit of it#i used to obsess over never being someone who just suddenly stopped drawing for weeks/months#it scared me. like a core part of my identity would have to change for that to happen or would be changed by that happening#and then once i didn't draw and wasn't drawing i felt like i needed something to violently change about myself to get me to start doing it#again. but i didn't need that i just drew something again and that was it. like that stretch of time didn't happen#drawing is just an activity you can choose to do or not do and there are no consequences for whatever decision you chose to take but it felt#so serious to me it is like i viewed it like death#which i was right about in a way but mostly in how death is just a thing that happens and that it wont be that sudden and insane#you will just be and then not be just like how you weren't and now are. its just like me drawing or not drawing lol#but that comic of ht papyrus by jnpie where he's looking at the puzzles he used to make and wondering if he'll ever do that again. or if he#wants to. its like that feeling. it always sticks in my mind#i have like a fear of thinking about when i will no longer care about something i care about now and its so weird when. realize i stopped#wanting to do something and caring about it and. i feel nothing on account of no longer caring about it lol. but i know that past me#is currently looking forward at me now and terrified. this is unrelated to that comic a lot but its like. thinking about how i will change#words#mine#IM NOT TAGGING THE ART bc i wanna actually finish some of these pieces tbh and like they are just the backdrop for my thoughts...#feels so hashtag tumblr to talk to yourself about some vague ass feelings or situation that no one else will look at ugh thats like#The tumblr experience. but i love reading other's personal posts and tags though..
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just had a why are you me i'm me kinda moment
#found out there's a tiktok account using my spelling of my name (squisheebug) as their handle which was really weird#so for the record i don't have a tiktok account dont want one and don't intend to make one#and IF i did it Would have been that handle because its the one i use almost everywhere#BUT i would have announced it bc that would have been for like. posting art clips or whatever if i made one#cuz i certainly do not want to be posting videos of myself lmao#point is that's not me and it felt real odd seeing somebody use that handle who isn't me when its such a personal nickname and spelling#but it is what it is and i never want a tiktok anyways so they can have it#i just want it known That's Not Me
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Daily Log 5
Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.
Activities: Not much, I had to run errands most of the day and also felt incredibly tired, probably because the cats woke me up like 4 times last night begging for food and things. Overly warm and headachey a lot.
I planted a few new flowers, and pressed more flowers and clovers in my Large Sturdy Flower Pressing Book as well.
Actually worked on translating the text for the previously mentioned tapestry/painting thing. I think I've decided that it doesn't really matter very much, because nobody else even knows anything about this conlang except for me, so they won't know if it's wrong lol.. It is not entirely completed after all (complete enough to translate most simple sentences into consistently, but also there are a few spots here and there where I haven't fully worked out the way some part of speech actually functions or etc., or I wrote down one thing that later contradicts something else, so occasionally I reach a sentence that I'm not sure exactly which rule to follow to translate, and I need to do a larger comprehensive organization of the document to work out all the kinks and declare officially like 'THIS is the ONE way this is done' etc. etc.) - so because of that, I think I'll just kind of 'do my best' and if the rules now end up changing in the future as I further work on the language, then, that's fine, because nobody can read it anyway lol. Kind of like that song on my side music youtube that's sung in genuine Avirrekava lyrics but also I wrote them years ago and some of the sentences have now become outdated/invalid.
Washed and cleaned some kale so it will be dry for me to maybe make silly kale chips tomorrow.
Final proofreading + posting of the poll adventure thing.
eughh,, literally nothing else.. I hate running errands because it always makes me feel drained and sick after, plus I get nothing else done all day except for just going places. I know checking my p.o. box and picking up cat food and stuff is technically still a productive action, but it just feels like.. i should be getting all of my long term projects done instead lol.. what about the videos?? or worldbuilding?? what does grocery shopping have to do with elves??!?! >:V (aside from pretending to be a group of fantasy creatures evaluating produce having an imaginary conversation with yourself at the store ghghj,, but that is not productive either lol)
Notable sights: Found 13 four leaf clovers, and 2 five leaf clovers, though one of them is almost a 6 leaf (like one of the leaves is nearly split all the way into a sort of heart shape, just not entirely). Also two of the clovers are HUGE, probably the biggest 4 leaf clovers I've ever collected, like 2 inches across maybe. The sky was very pretty a lot with big fluffy white clouds. Not a 'sight' really, but I got to sit in air conditioning for a little while today and it was very nice. I love the cold crisp kind of stale air smell, like walking into a freezer or something (which I used to do when I was a kid, I would sneak into a walk-in freezer at a school cafeteria and just sit there for a while lol), it's comforting to me.
Goals moving forward: Consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.
Notable foods: Had a bit of smoked gouda and green onions in my Mandated Completely Plain Flavorless Grits For Breakfast this morning, as a littol treat lol.. Tried a 'biscoff' ice cream bar, which is generally a flavor profile I like, but I think I would usually rather be eating a cookie than having ice cream. Also an Ensure nutritional drink, which I know most people consider gross but I genuinely like them.. maybe it's like a source of comfort when my stomach is too sick to eat, like 'oh well at least I can have this cold smooth textured chalky chocolate thing' lol.
Sort of like how I have positive conditioning to feel safe/comfortable in bathrooms (due to it usually being one of the only places you can safely retreat from a social situation or get out of crowds in public areas, etc.), even though rationally I have no particular reason to like bathrooms much, and most people dislike public bathrooms especially. Fellow public bathroom and ensure nutritional shake lovers unite! (3 of us in the entire world)
#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public#declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now..#Not sure if this is helping me be more productive#though I think it might in some ways help me appreciate things around me more. Since I'm kind of collecting 'notable' sights or smells#or things. sometimes through the day I'm looking around my environment trying to spot anything whimsical or wonderful or pleasing#I could see this excercise possiblyhelping people pick out more positives around them and appreciate small things in life more#I kind of already do that (very meticulous slow moving person who notices tiny details in everything) so I'm not sure if it's any more than#I usually would but.. eh?? maybe??#Still craving a ton of hearty foods lol my body is so so so deficient in something right now and I'm being very cool about it#I have a very high level of self control (so like am very responsible good at managing money and getting placeson time and planning and#etc. and abstaining from things if necessary (like wearing a mask and cutting out certain activities during a pandemice#or not eating something now that might hurt my stomach later etc. etc.) so It's not much of a problem but#if not... I would probably be ordering in so much random fast food and stuff or something ghh#Even before I was put on a restrictive diet by my doctors I still never ate out very much for money reasons#Usually once a month or less. this includes stuff like coffees (can be made at home cheaper) or drinks or etc.#Especially with the cost of things going up so much now I'm kind of glad I've already built in that habit#/have never known or gotten used to anything else - because if not I feel like it would be a real shock or like a struggle#I have friends that order in food for like every single meal and it's only getting more and more expensive#so I guess it's kind of releiving to not really have the prospect of that stress as much (though things in the grocery store#are still expensive too so.. even if you're cooking at home. You do save money but its STILL a strain with the current#economy). ANYWAY... maybe sometimes it is good to be miserly and poor.. if I had unlimited money and a spending habit or something#I could go through with ordering ribs and chicken wings and 5 plates of lasagna and a burrito and udon and etc. and eat it all at once#and then have such a bad stomach pains I have to go to the hospital lol#ANYWAY...#daily log
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saw ppl talking on twitter About It rather than directly what they were talking about when in recent months they were testifying to a Casual R Word Usage increase & i never saw it on twitter b/c yknow for as relatively few ppl as i Ever followed that activity has decreased a lot lately & i don't think i ever followed accounts where it would apply anyway & very rarely look at even Trends or anything else sitewide. but i feel like i'm seeing a bit of it on here more recently at least in recommended posts that are clearly just drawing from very general Humorous Posts genre like yeah that's just uh y2k style rword usage
#maybe even '90s? by the time i was in elementary school Gay was more so the synonym of choice#obviously it doesn't actually like. idk deplete anyone of a quart of blood to see any Word Usage & depending on the context like#i can ofc be barely bothered at all but i'm not posting about My Personal Experience but rather just the predictable phenomenon#for say alllll the times ppl Love to post about how Oh See This Is Why I Don't Take Ableism Seriously (it's b/c you're ableist? but ok)#about any post where ppl say that like Other Words used as [that's so gay] insults are also just vintage r words#origins as ''technically correct'' terminology & then becoming supposedly Figurative colloquial insults#basically the [f word r word] ''tasteful'' usage talking head moment from the office#& yknow ppl love to pass that around like here's the language cop telling me i can't call someone a stupid idiot. ableism is a joke#(or that ohh they're Dying to take ableism seriously Dying to support disabled ppl but this random tweet has thwarted them!!)#never engaging with The Idea That Words Mean Things / Language Defines & Conveys Ideas i.e. the ableist logic in language#which; also the argument that to Consider if casual familiar language was ableist was sooo easy; So Easy they're not even gonna do it#it's such a low bar simple easy request that i not call people moronic unintelligent simpletons that i would Never#i care so much abt Taking Ableism Seriously that if ppl even suggest that vintage ableist terms are ableist i'll go Lmaooo. no.#& also remark that it makes me even more anti anti ableist. like i'm so sure lol sooo sure it was sooo important to you#or ofc ''This is why ppl are ableist & don't take anti ableism seriously'' it's just the ableism actually but scintillating comment#& yeah nobody was suggesting that it's the Main Primary Most Important Single Mission of anti ableism. and yet.#just asserting that they are & that it's asking too much to Analyze much less indeed change up language. wherrre have i heard that rhetoric#nothing you encounter w/other perfectly Normative ideas baked unquestioned into ''Normal'' vernacular#& sometimes pointed out / criticized by those targeted by those logics to a chorus of Oh Please / Cmon Unserious No Way It's Fine#like if it's so Not a big deal lol then you sure could even begin to consider changing how you Think About & Use Language huh? & Yet.#anyone w/any experience in the Frivolity but also Overwhelming Oppression of like language that Talks About [queer / trans ppl exist]? no?#anyway that tl;dr like that Supposedly the r word was the one bit of ableist language that ppl accepted was; yknow; ableist. And Yet#like no you didn't really think that either or care much. despite that supposedly it was the ppl talking abt ableism in language who were#so Unserious & Unhelpful. & wildly the r word rennaissance is not getting that kind of Daily Twitter QRT events mocking pileon#just the kind of Killjoy Nags account who'd criticize ableism or the pileons on commentary abt it who are like yeah ppl are comfortable#putting the r word out there a lot more again. which has always been about [do you take the concept of ableism seriously At All. no]#like yeah no even here obviously the concept doesn't start & end. but an ableism uptick is reflected in ''the One Word supposedly accepted#as Rude / perhaps indeed 'truly' ableist'' broken out again huh lol. meanwhile again when Gay was more popular by my time perhaps#like nobody's directed the r word at me but i've gotten Stupid & Idiot within the exact same spirit; plus contempt dismissiveness vitriol#months ago partly read an article (itself ableist) w/a quote ft medical terminology of calling someone a ''moron''....felt startling & Bad
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made a blog to put posts into instead of drafting them and it's working great so far
#it was becoming a problem#it's keeping me accountable. I go 'am I going to draft this one with one really simple image? ' 'no I'll just look for the id or id it'#'do I have a reason to draft this art instead of queueing' 'no it's just out of habit I'll queue it'#I was afraid I'd use it as an excuse to draft More posts and never look at them again but I think it's been a little less#and never looking at them is what I already do. so might as well have a better way to go through them instead of infinite scrolling#through thousands of posts#personal
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