#I need to post more info one day

[fobnsfwdoodlesbackup]

Hi y'all, I just wanted to talk a little about the behind the scenes of what I've been up to, to give y'all a little transparency and to open myself up for any tips or input! 🙏 Thank you for your continued support and for taking the time to look at my art 🫶

First and foremost I wanted to give some transparency about my art capacity.

As og followers may remember, I started this blog when I was doing art full time. Eventually my living expenses grew and I had to go back to work. I find myself in a cycle of "I'll make more art soon, once I get a job!" And "I'll make more art soon, once I am done with this job!" I lost my most recent job suddenly, having had an extension waved over my head until the last day(October 7th). Now I'm excited to have more time for art, but I am also feeling a rush to get a new job ASAP as I've been living paycheck to paycheck. I dream of doing this work full time, I'm just scared it's not quite there yet and I worry that I come off as scammy or dishonest when I anticipate more stability around the corner.

Second, I've been struggling with the Patreon. It's taken me a while to come to terms with this, but from what I've seen Patreon is not intuitive at all from the creator end. It doesn't do a good job of organizing addresses, emails, showing who or who isn't subscribed to me, or organizing and displaying the work I put on there. I've been really shocked by this experience, since lots of big names use Patreon. It's been a great way to streamline support, but it's been unhelpful in every other regard. I would like to continue using it, but I will most likely post more wips or process videos there in the future.

Which brings me to my third point, zines. I love making zines so much, it feels personal and fulfilling and fun! However the Patreon issues make it harder to keep information in order about where to send zines, or even where to message folks about them. In addition to this, the post office has been a big barrier to me, oftentimes only being open at the same time as my dayjob. Making zines can take days, then sending them out is a whole other monster.

This work is so important to me. Drawing peoples fantasies, representing body types, creating work around sexuality and the human experience feels like what I'm meant to do. I've made comics since I was a kid. This is the dream to me. The friends I've been able to make through this work are so important to me, and the conversations have been invaluable. Not to mention fun! I wanna doodle, I wanna draw hot stuff, I wanna thirst over these dudes! I want to play!

But I also just want to be transparent about the barriers I'm working around to share that experience. I'm completely self taught, both in art AND in running shops, building websites, running 8 accounts, etc. I take a lot of time to learn the logistics of these things, and try to make them make sense for my relationship with y'all (I do not want to paywall my art!! I don't want to!!!). This year my desktop broke down (the main one I use for all paintings and digital art). I've paused my Etsy shops and my Patreon to try to catch up with things. Trying to learn to paint in a completely different program. Then lost my job with no savings.

At the end of the day I don't want anything to come between me sharing my art with you. I wish I could doodle a thing, take a picture, and post it here. No third party site, no shop, no subscription. Just sharing my art with you. I promise I'm trying to figure out how to stay as close to that as possible, and I want to thank y'all for sticking with me as I untangle all of that.

So, what can you expect in the near future?

I'm working on a couple of painting commissions right now, which you should be able to see in the next couple of days! I want to catch up on kinktober and get those posted as well. There's a comic commission in progress which I'm very eager to work on, and which I think y'all will be excited for! To ease the weight of the Patreon I think I may do less zines/polls there and more wips and process videos! If possible, I want to do more full colored work too.

Thank you again for enjoying my work, and if you have any input or tips my inbox is always open 🙏🫶💕

[synthshenanigans]

There's a lotta peeps on here that aren't in the discord or on twitter & so they cant see certain updates or lil information bits CJ gives. So was wondering if those ppl want a blog where it posts any Jash updates?

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[invinciblerodent]

completely meaningless headcanon time, Astarion would fucking love those cute little wooden puzzle boxes you sometimes see.

are they likely anachronistic? yeah, maybe. but they're just such fiddly little things. sometimes all fancy and ornate, with lots of hidden bits and moving parts. and the goal is to pull them apart to find a hidden compartment? that may or may not have a tiny Thing inside? marvelous.

just try to tell me he wouldn't enjoy the enrichment immensely

[nomairuins]

i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms

[storm-of-feathers]

cant sleep gonna say my thoughts.

I think what a lot of people miss about tumblr (and especially unfocused blogs that, say, aren't fandom oriented) is that it's essentially an open journal. it's a microblogging website, and all blogging micro or macro is fundamentally a web log (where the term comes from!). if it seems like I'm not talking ab something enough, it's not because I don't care at all.

It's because first and foremost, this blog is a piece of my soul that I am choosing to share. I'm not trying to be an activist on the internet, I'm not trying to sway anyone to my opinions. I'm saying the things I think and feel. If I talk ab american politics too much, that's because im american. if I'm writing frustrated posts about performative internet activism, that's because it feels exhausting to be out there doing the work (because that's what it is. Its work. Its boring and taxing and it feels like youre getting nowhere. Until you see how far youve come) and having to come to tumblr and seeing people say I didn't talk about [disaster 30000 of the past ten years] enough.

if I seem angry and upset and scared and irrational, its because i am those things. you have to understand. in spite of my rather large follower number, this blog is, first and foremost, for me. I am writing things down and allowing strangers and friends and wanderers to read it. I won't call it a privilege that can be taken away, bc its not like some of my thoughts are exactly a treat, but it is something to keep in mind.

if you ask me why I'm talking about the supreme courts recent decisions but not similar decisions in other countries, the answer comes down to "one of those directly affects me, and therefore i can fight back."

but I shouldn't have to announce where and how I'm fighting back. if for no other reason, my own fucking safety. but also bc this blog isn't any sort of guide to activism, it's not any type instruction. it is, at best, my diary that I published.

and that isn't a bad thing!! and it shouldn't be!!! that's why I harped so hard on the carrd post. that's why I'm vaguely annoyed with my reddit posts. that's why I shared my marital status and sexuality for a long time. that's why i have a rwby icon. that's why my blog title which hasn't changed since 2018 is what it is.

I understand that sometimes I have opinions people don't like. oceangate in particular has proven to be a fantastic example of that. But i am, at the most basic terminology, venting my thoughts and feelings.

that's why I'm talking ab the supreme court and their awful decisions. why I may not be talking about issues that don't directly affect me, but might affect some of you. it's not because i don't care. It's never because I don't care.

It's because my target audience is a mirror.

[snailpilled-and-based]

Sadly this isn't a Woodrow drawing...it's just one of my ocs (drawn by memory) 🗣️ Her name is President Sad or just President. She has like a bunch of other names and I have a shit ton of lore written about her, but I'm not gonna info dump 😭

[handsomethrowrug]

OOC:

Who would have thought designing AU versions of S.car would be tricky because I'm trying to figure out what extra scars he should get depending on the situation?

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I think someone put the brain of a mouse or maybe a squirrel inside my head at some point because all winter I was like “I crave nuts and seeds” and now that it’s getting warmer and brighter out my brain keeps going “it’s fruit time”

Like, modern transportation has made it possible to move many fruits all over the world (in theory) all the time! But the primal early plesiadapiform part of my brain is like “you must eat what is available this season”

[lunar-fey]

oh yeah not sure where we're at w money btw. we might be able to get some of it back but we wont know anything concrete until friday

[thompsborn]

car problems leading me to do a bunch of research on car engines to understand what’s happening better inevitably also leading me to thinking about mechanic harley. i’m not surprised but i am excited to have a better ability to write mechanic harley being smart

[true-blue-sonic]

Could you imagine Silver ever being so impressed by someone or something that he's left speechless?

I feel like we see Silver's reaction when he's highly impressed by something best in '06: when he and Amy are in the desert, he takes a second or two to look around and really see just what this wondrous place is. And when he tells Amy that "This looks so beautiful", his voice is a lot more soft and tender than we've heard from him before up to that point, if I am not mistaken. He's far more quiet than usual, marvelling a bit, and clearly impressed by what he sees around him. Not to the point of speechlessness because he is still talking, but it's almost... pensive? I think it is sweet, how he discusses how the sky is gorgeous and everyone is happy, furthermore enhanced by the fact Amy doesn't seem to be of the opinion that the desert is particularly pretty ("What? You mean this desert?"). From that scene and also his statements in Colours DS I get the feeling it is the small things that matter most to Silver: a pretty sky and the fact everybody has a smile, things that others might not notice so quickly.

But that being said... To me, Silver does not seem to be a person who really gets impressed to the point of speechlessness or giddy gawking, to be honest. Most of the time when something cool, impressive, or shocking is happening, he's quite loud about it (e.g. his "I see it!" when seeing Sonic in Mephiles' Emerald or his "No way, that's excellent!" when he hears from Knuckles that Sonic is still alive in Forces), but not in an "oh my god woooowwwww so amazing!!! :D" kinda way. It seems to me that he often immediately continues with a next plan of action without mulling on what came before (not all the time, though: Silver can be reflective on things, also seen in '06 after his fallout with Amy). At most, he might marvel a bit at Blaze: I'm thinking specifically of their participation in Runner's birthday event for Sonic, wherein he says it's pretty cool that she could free herself from Eggman's trap without his help and expresses slight disappointment that she did not need him. But he doesn't seem so easily impressed otherwise: his opinion on Sonic promptly got stuck six feet underground after their first fight in '06 ("Hmph! Is this a joke? How could someone like you cause the destruction of our world?") despite Sonic being among the most powerful characters in the franchise, he doesn't seem to care about getting kicked in the head by Shadow at all and goes right on by using the same trick with Chaos Control, he expresses an attitude of considered unimportance towards Knuckles when they meet in Rivals ("Got no time to explain it to someone like you… See ya!" followed by "Like I said before, I don't have time to deal with you right now. See ya!"), he all but mocks Eggman's Experience The Future ride for being inaccurate to the real future in Colours DS, and so on. I truly cannot recall a single instance in the games wherein he was really left utterly, completely speechless, and so I think it might be something that is very difficult for him to achieve. But that being said, I do think he can be quiet for a few seconds as something small but lovely really sinks in, like seen in '06. Considering how loud and present Silver can be otherwise, I like how it can be taken as yet another 'contradiction' that his personality has!

[soupacool]

congrats on taking T and experiencing voice changes, that's so exciting!! 🥳🥳✨✨

thank you!!! it's been a period of intense learning of myself and my place in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything

[crossbackpoke-check]

I have to ask about good dog bad dream <3

🥰🥰 oh i was HOPING for this one. ok so y’all may actually know a little bit already because it exists in the tags as tyler borzoituzzi but! good dog bad dream is the working document title/notes compilation for a fic that started with the premise of “well you see that’s actually not a dog that’s my blorbo from my hrpf shifter wolf au—”

and, because i have never formally addressed it or put it anywhere other than the tags, three important details about this fic:

this IS a semi-au fic about the detroit red wings, set vaguely in the 2018-19 season, because the wings sucked that year (but not as bad as 2019-20)

this is ALSO a fic that is mainly about tyler bertuzzi and dylan larkin, with some other wings thrown in because i've never met an ensemble i couldn't shove into a love story

this 100% exists because of mickey redmond calling tyler a junkyard dog every chance he gets and me every time going "okay but what if literally though" -> 🐺

[rubyreduji]

me when i am stressed

[ofcowardiceandkings]

i will say though my pile of art ive got to finish up for posting is all stuff im VERY pleased with, which is a nice feeling

i just want it to be finished now lmfao