#I need to make a goal for 2024 to like idk get better at art I'm so stagnant I wanna be better but it's hard ;__;

[nuclearanomaly]

✨ Something Something Kiss the Girl ✨

[creatingnikki]

things to remember in 2024

i. more quiet time, more silence. more shavasana, more stillness.

ii. keep promises you make to yourself. everyone else can be disregarded — the promises they make, the promises you make to them.

iii. there is no "should do this" or "should be that way" as a universal rule book. your experiences and lessons teach you what are your values, preferences, and takes on life and people. you don't need to convince others of them, you don't even need to most times articulate them to follow them and do as you please.

iv. things that increase your risk of chronic health (mental and physical) issues: sitting, smoking, and situationships. your legs, lungs, and love life deserve much better.

v. 'the best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment'. fight the instant gratification, the fomo, the yolo. do the healthy thing for you in the moment, every moment.

vi. go to the salon, the bookstore, the train station, the beach, the bakery more than you go to the bar, the boy's house, and self doubt/loathing.

vii. travel even if you don't have a big budget and cannot do everything you'd want to in that destination because you do now want some travel experiences and stories while you're still in your 20s. make it a priority now, you don't want to feel bitter later.

viii. stop trying to frustrate and confuse yourself so much. you are both the vivacious, warm, kind, person and the somber, detached, pensive person. it's not one betraying the other. it's both you — the sunflower and the black orchid.

ix. ask people of things, it's no virtue to only give and not take. however, don't be so sensitive or shattered if not given or denied. people don't have as much power over your heart as you believe. your heart is happily vacationing on the moon most months of the year away from this worldly chaos. it's your ego that cannot take it. acknowledge the role of your ego, learn to understand it so that you can work with it.

x. do the cringe things. post a hundred reels on Instagram even if you get five likes on each. cringe at that part of you that cringes when you do the things you want instead of cringing at yourself. when you do that you're viewing yourself as a third-party judging yourself and honestly love aren't there thousands out there to do that job already? so then you stick to your job — support yourself no matter how you decide to live your life.

xi. love and romance are not the centre or purpose of your life. you are. the genre of your life is neither rom com nor tragic passionate romance. it's slice of life. love and romance will happen when it happens and will be one part of your life. but all the other parts? they belong to you — to your art and writing, to your joy and exploration of yourself and this world, to your family and friends, to food and cats, to travel and music, to peace and sleep. live a full life.

xii. set processes for your routine that streamline everything and make it easy. your morning work commute, your night skincare, going over your monthly budget, saving and investing for your goals, how you organize your life and time. and when problems show up, simply problem solve. don't take it personally, try to not feel dejected and doomed. and for the times you do, don't try to fix anything. take a shower, eat a good meal, go to sleep.

xiii. when setting boundaries, and when those boundaries are crossed, you don't have to break your head trying to get the other person to change their behaviour. instead, you should change your behaviour. if they cross a boundary, then that should be your cue for a behaviour change, a decision. don't be at the mercy of another's understanding and compassion to have your life be aligned to your needs and values.

xiv. three steps taken > three hundred steps planned. pausing for three months > abandoning for three years. three people you love and who love you > thirty people who are fluff. idk why three is the magic number here but you get the gist. moderation, my love, and balance. regulation and removal.

xv. cut out the noise. you'll figure out more of what that means as you begin to do it. it's social media, yes. it's societal conditioning, yes. but it's also the things your loved ones say despite having the best intentions at heart for you. it's the things the younger you believed and thought and wrote. it's the friends and lovers who come and go and don't really know you well. it's all of it. you have to cut out the noise. build noise-cancelling headphones for your soul over time and carry them with you everywhere.

[couch-house]

2023 baybeeeee. havent done an art summary in a while since i basically stopped drawing early 2020 and didn't get back on the horse until mid-2022 (i wonder... what could have caused that!) i dont feel like my art has really changed this year, only in the ways that I draw specific sonic characters (looking through my archive is fun bc i can see the progression of the diseases known as Giving Them Big Eyebrows and Drawing The Monoeye) and--more exciting 4 me--my practice with paneling comics! :)

i think the progression is much more noticeably when you line it up with last year's sonic art... i can see all the Milestones.. more talking abt that under the cut

May: couch gets into sonic. June: Yucky Sonic 1.0. this was also the month when i Heard Of fleetway super. July: couch comes back from brazil, having read stc. this is also when i start dong actual short comics. compare may -> june -> july. (also please forgive whatever tf i was doing with skintones. i needed some practice)

august: merger au takes shape. dog invented. also i just really like that speed racer sonic mspaint picture. its fun :) september: deep in the fleet mines. october: i lose a lot of steam and mostly just doodle. another comic comparison for those three months:

november: frontiers comes out. i go crazy mode and make that sonic + knuckles comic with the pretty backgrounds and LOTS OF TINY TEXT. december: winter break AND im tired. january 2023 i come back insane crazy mode and write some fanfiction?? still havent finished that LOL. made some nice cover art :) february: i shift into knuckles mode fora month. make another comic. this one is much better i think :) november -> february

march: i shift into transfem metal sonic mode. also just stick to a lot of doodling. also write more fanfiction. crazy. april: transitory period as i shift back into stc/exit: sonic mode. may: more fanfiction. more comics. i really like how both of these turned out :) while the last two were definitely taking a lot more notes from stc, i think around here i start paying attention to and trying to learn from more creative panelling from artists i admire. like @/superemeralds THOAM and @/starrjoy's pandora au.

june: i play sa2 and it's good. july: i play unleashed and it is both miserable and good. i get in kind of an artistic frustration zone and wiggle my way out. august: idk i think im just chillin. super react dot jpeg happens. it's not even named that, it's named after the other image on the canvas, which was maria holding baby shadow. more comics.

september: i burn out for a bit. get real tired. eventually get back up and make more comics. the goal here and last month has become "try to make more interesting panel shapes. I've noticed other artists don't just use rectangles--try playing with irregular polygons and see where it gets you." well it gets you mixed results as you learn :) also i think after that pause i accept the monoeye into my life. sigh...

october: oc showdown starts and @/neurotypical-sonic asks me to make some halloweeny art :) feels like i dont do much this month bc i focus on those. november: A LOT OF ART?? INSANE. more oc showdown stuff. i play shadow the hedgehog (2005). it's good and i love it. i draw a ton of shit on one canvas for it. Fucking Dember: i have shifted back into stc/EXIT mode. motivation's a little weird bc work's a little weird. doing commissions also makes it weird. well im having fun and being myself :) a final handful of comics from this month:

idk maybe ill do something sicko crazy b4 the end of the year. mayb i'll follow exit sonic's example and #GetWorse. who knows :) well this is fun i love looking at my art and seeing and noticing things. thank u all for your support and I hope we all have a great 2024!

[actuallyadhd]

The reason I realised I might have adhd was my brother, he's so clearly autistic so I did research to make sure.

When I brought it up with my mother she told me to not tell him.

I finally got my diagnosis after 3 years of trying to get it, of going deeper and deeper into it.

Idk, I never hated it? I never hated my adhd. Back in 2020 I was a more active person? In terms of doing the things I liked and doing art.

Now I'm slow, tired, fatigued.

And that happened after I took meds. Apparently ritalin prozac and anxiety meds aren't supposed to be taken together, Idk what my therapist was thinking.

She told me to get anxiety meds for my stimming, cause I stim cause I'm nervous. But I KNOW that I don't. I stim when I'm excited, or when I can't focus.

When I'm anxious, when I'm angry I go stiff a a rock, I get focused sharp, because I have to be, it's a defense mechanism.

I don't hate adhd I don't hate meds inheritly either. But I hate how my meds made me a zombie, that I was forced to go on them so I could achieve this academic goal.

Maybe if I lived in a place with better mental healthcare I wouldn't be dealing with the effects of bad medication and my worsening depression.

I'm slightly better now, but my executive function got fucked. I can't just, do the things I like anymore. I feel less feelings than I did before.

I don't hate myself I just, I guess I'm in a hurry to heal from everything when I'm still living with the people that abused and continue to abuse me emotionally.

Specially my abelist mother who keeps saying adhd and autism aren't a disability, and they're just a quirk like her being left handed.

My dad has finally came to the realisation that he probably has adhd like me.

I'm a uni student now and living in a dorm away from my family has helped me regain that control I had and live a healthier life. But I'm back now over the summer and I can feel myself going back to my old ways the more I stay at my family home.

Idk,

Is this cptsd? Idk what it is.

Is it bad to say I love my adhd? Usually at least. When there's no one breathing down my neck not letting me do my own thing, when I don't get pulled into random places and have a choice to stay. And say no.

I guess things will get worse before they get better....

Sent August 18, 2024

There's definitely a lot to unpack here. I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. I will do my best to offer suggestions and reassurance, as always.

It makes sense that your brother is autistic and you have ADHD; both are highly heritable, and seem to be related in some way. So it also makes sense that your dad has now realized he probably has ADHD!

I have a feeling this is going to be long, so have a cut.

Stimming & Anxiety

Neurotypical people think that the only reason for fidgeting is anxiety.

It's not.

As a general rule, it's either expressive (as when we're happy or excited or upset) or regulating (as when we need to focus or feel overwhelmed).

And if stimming or fidgeting isn't disruptive or hurting anyone (including yourself), it definitely doesn't need to be medicated. WTAF.

Medication Issues

Medication can be tricky. The wrong meds can cause more problems than they solve. Even the right med at the wrong dose can be a problem!

Examples from my own life:

Starting dose of Concerta didn't do much, next dose up gave me a week-long anxiety attack.

Starting dose of Welbutrin made me feel like I was About to Die for a week.

Dexedrine initially made me NOT HUNGRY for three weeks. I lost 10 lbs.

Strattera made me depressed and adversely affected my typing (been accurately touch typing since I was 11, suddenly was making really weird typos).

Good dose of sertraline (Zoloft) helped my anxiety and depression but caused me to start skin picking in earnest; next dose up had me closing in on serotonin syndrome.

Adderall worked well (until it didn't) but also made me feel ill after I ate yogurt.

It sounds like you would need to try other meds or other doses, preferably one at a time(!), to find what works best for you overall.

Executive Function & Depression

It sounds like your depression is your biggest problem right now. Depression can worsen executive functioning, so that makes sense.

It's probably a good idea to talk to your prescribing doctor about your medication regime. Ask what your options are and if you can please work on getting off the antidepressant so you can try something else.

Alongside this, you may well be dealing with ADHD burnout, which I am only just coming out of myself. It's a struggle, to be sure!

My best advice for that is to be gentle with yourself. Don't expect yourself to Do All the Things; instead, keep a master list of things that need to get done and choose three of them to focus on each day (your Goals) and three fun ones to try to get to each day (your gravy).

It's okay if sometimes one of your Goals is to get dressed.

Parent Stuff

It sounds like your mom is trying to make you feel better or maybe herself(?). If that's how she needs to think of this all, let her. What matters is that she understands when you're struggling and is willing to support you. If not, you might like to refer her to this Russell Barkley video.

It's great that your dad has realized he has ADHD, though! Even if he doesn't bother to pursue a formal diagnosis, just knowing that can help a lot since if he's having issues he knows where to find suggestions that are more likely to actually work (because stuff that works for neurotypical people almost never works for ADHDers, while stuff that works for us also works for NT's).

Family Systems Theory says that how we behave around our family members is directed by how our family works as a system. There are also smaller systems within the whole that affect how individuals relate to each other. This is why we tend to fall back into childhood patterns when we're around our family of origin. Those patterns are ingrained through years of conditioning.

CPTSD?

While I don't think Gabor Maté is right about trauma and ADHD, I do think that it's pretty common for ADHDers to have childhood trauma. We spend years getting in trouble for stuff we couldn't control and being held to a standard we simply can't reach due to our ADHD, and that affects our self-esteem and is (to my mind) a big reason why so many of us have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which is that huge emotional reaction we can have to criticism (real or perceived).

I have found a lot of reassurance and helpful information about CPTSD through watching videos from the Crappy Childhood Fairy on YouTube. She reads letters from people and helps them with their problems, and she explains the problems faced by people who have CPTSD and offers ways to deal with them.

Loving ADHD

I don't think it's bad to love your ADHD. I do think it's a little weird, because most of us hate it a lot of the time, but I definitely see positives in my own life and view it as a neutral (if annoying) part of who I am.

I actually think it's great that you do love it, because it's going to be part of your life forever. Making sure you have systems in place to deal with the stuff that's challenging is going to be really important moving forward, but that's part of what this Tumblr is for.

Overall, I think you are probably doing better than you think you are, and once your meds get sorted you'll be in a much better space in general.

Followers, do you have anything to add, or any corrections to something I've said?

-J

[yangkitties]

user yangkitties 2023 tumblr review!

inspired by the lovely @jnnul, i want to take a couple moments to review and appreciate what i've been able to experience this year!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ general stats ! ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

total words written (only from released fics) : 8.2k (avg. somewhere between 0.4k-0.6k per fic)

total fics released: 11 fics

total groups/people written for: 2 groups (8 people)

total wips left - 4 wips (3 are in planning phase and 1 is like loosely written)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ top fics (by notes) ! ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

stray kids as… your college boyfriends <3 (1.9k notes)

sick days (463 notes)

studio surprises (436 notes)

[11:36 pm] (392 notes)

sleepy hearts (256 notes)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ fics i LOVED writing and why :] ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

pluck at heartstrings: i enjoyed writing this fic to the MAX because i was drawing from real life experienced 🤭 it also just flowed so easily for me? the second i started typing everything started to fall in place and i loved it !!

late night epiphanies: i liked writing this fic bc it was practically the dead of the night before my physics exam and i needed some stress relief so i just ZOOMED like my fingers were flying 😭 i also really like it bc i dont think i've written a fic with this vibe before and it had a nice feel yk?

21 kisses: 100% bc of the idea. i am sorry to be biased but this might be one of my favourite fics i've written, purely because i (once again) speed wrote it and still loved the way it turned out

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ fics i read that you should read too ! ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

love story? (hyung line) by @hanlimz: this fic is lowk my roman empire it is so goddamn good and makes me go through 1 million emotions all at once 😩 and it's also just so damn well written like god i could go on about this fic FOREVER !!

the 24 hour dating challenge by @jaeyunverse: altered my brain chemistry in a way i cannot explain dude... i love the flow and characterisation in this fic SO DAMN MUCH!

nap of a star by @soov: my love for this fic is truly endless... i've read this fic like 6 times and each time it gets better. its soft and lovely and just so so comforting. i love the metaphor (?) behind the story and it's just simple way too good. 12/10 i think about this fic way more than i should-

the subtle art of swinging by deactivated: idk what happened to this op but god i LOOOVEEE a good spider-man au and this is it. the spiderhoon fic to end all spiderhoon fics

cupid's conflict by @amakumos: THE fic!!! the ultimate smau!!! its fun, its lighthearted, AND its well written. its just something i cherish a lot

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ my goals for 2024 ! ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

i'm hoping to publish an smau or a fully written multiple chapter fic!

work on writing longer fics, fics more than 1k

experimenting with dialogue writing! i've always been scared to write dialogues and have written works close to 600 words with 0 dialogue, so i REALLY want to work on dialogue writing T-T

interact more. I feel like I'm confined to this small circle of mutuals (who i love very much btw) but i want to get to know more people, esp on skzblr !!

publish works for other groups outside of enha and skz :)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ moot appreciation ! ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

thank you to ALL my moots for making this a wonderful and memorable 2023!!! i cannot WAITTT to spend 2024 getting to know each one of you a little bit more &lt;3

@hanlimz @hoonvrs @miirohs @prod-ddeonu @jnnul @dinotoro @jungwonderz @in2fly @euncsace @jebi-won @luvbinnies

— love, nini 🫶

[tippinghatterart]

2024 Art Goals.

So I have things I feel I want to try and do this year and if I write it out on the internet I'll feel like I have to:

1. PRACTICE: I need to practice way more and do more gesture drawings, I also need to practice doing pixel art (and badly attempting small janky movements)

2. FIND A DIGITAL COLOURING STYLE: I find it hard to like how I colour things digitally so this year I am going to try and mess around a BUNCH till I find things I like.

3. ATTEMPT FAN ART: I other than when I was in that pokemon dnd game have never drew fan art, I over think it and crave perfection when I should just draw the character. Art fight 2023 despite being in a stressful time for me actually helped me with getting over it, a little bit. I am going to try to start with nostalgic characters for me and hopefully GET BETTER!

4. DRAW A PNGTUBER MODEL: It may not be my own, heck I may not even keep it but I want to try doing a pngtuber model I have watched many vids on making models and it seems like a fun project!

5. TRY AND GET THROUGH THE DAMN RPG-MAKER TUTORIAL: I am going to try not to get overwhelmed by it again, but I really want to try rpg-maker, it's been a goal to make a small (prolly terrible) game as many artist I have looked up to and admired have made really interesting and fun games. Will I be good at it? PROBABLY NOT, but I still want to try though

Will I actually get through my goals idk, kinda depends on my life outside of art, I want to try and get at least one thing off this list this year (even if it is just finishing the rpg-maker Tutorial) I have a lot of personal goals outside of art that I want to do (like actually get medically diagnosed for anxiety by a psychiatrist, I KNOW IT'S BAD BUT LIKE HOW BAD IDK) But if I can a least do 1 thing I feel like that would be progress!

[erithacusrou]

I’ve been thinking about goals for the new year the past couple weeks since I was too restless to pin any down before 2023 ended. I’ve been adding to this list for a little while, and I think I’m finally done with it.

Eat better. Pulling this one from last year since I still have room for improvement. We ate a nice variety of new foods last year, so here’s hoping this year is equally as tasty.

Cook more. Okay this was also a goal last year too and I didn’t make much progress but I DID make scrambled eggs a few times so at least I did something. I’ve been hoarding recipes for a while now so hopefully I get around to doing something with them.

Drink more water. Self-explanatory. I drank more last year than I have previously thanks to a new water bottle, but I need to do better. I’m constantly dehydrated RIP ;;

Get better at doing my dailies. I’m so bad about washing my face and brushing my teeth and procrastinating on housework. Starting tasks that aren’t urgent and doing chores without external pressure are extremely hard for me, but I’m working on ways to push through that wall.

Exercise. Some of my lack of exercise is due to anxiety about not having enough space in the apartment to work out, not feeling safe enough to take a walk in my current neighborhood, or fear of being seen looking silly. I’ve kind of got a good grip on where I want to start now, I just have to get over the anxiety and just do it. I have days set aside for exercise and stretching now, I just have to wake up early enough to have time and willpower to do it.

Journaling. I started in December 2022 around when we were shopping for a new car, then fell off in September after burning out because I had made it a chore for myself by tracking too many things via the tagging function. I was originally intending to journal in my planner this year, but I really prefer having a dedicated journal app where I can also see stats like the weather, location, step count, etc. logged with my entry. This time around I have a dedicated tracker in my planner for certain activities so I can hopefully minimize the amount of tracked activities in my tags.

Read more. It’ll probably just be manga and fanfiction because I’m so out of the loop when it comes to actual books, but I’d like to at least read something. Been a couple years since I did any dedicated reading.

Plan ahead. One of my goals for 2023 was to plan better, and with the help of digital planning tools, I’d say I’ve improved a lot in the last year. Ideally I’d like to plan even more in advance by, say, getting birthday and holiday cards made and sent out in a timely manner. And having themed art done in time for events or special days! Stuff like that.

Save money. I’m tired of being in debt, man. I gotta start spending smarter and doing better with what I have. I’m really good at pretending I have expendable money when I actually don’t. Like I know buying fewer snacks at work won’t make up for the fact that I’m not paid enough, but idk what else to do really.

Be a person! I’m determined to get into the habit of regularly interacting with other people on social media and calling my family more often and hanging out with people and appreciating the people I love more. I want to be present in the lives of others more, and have them be present in mine.

Uhhh I think that’s it! I wish I had made sense of my priorities earlier than almost halfway through January, but it is what it is. I hope everyone else is having a good 2024 so far!

[hshouse]

Hi! Inspiration anon here. I just popped back in to elaborate that not only is your hard work and confidence inspiring, your attitude towards success is what inspires me most. Truly I want to reach that level of peace with myself, most of all. You're as in sync with your good qualities and your weaknesses and that is something I really look up to. You are confident but not a snob ( in fact quite kind ) which again, I really appreciate how you deal with that as well. And you also highlight how you have achieved dreams you had that has something to do with fandom, that is usually not how people define success but I'm so glad you're emphasising that as well. It makes me feel that working hard is not only so that I can take good care of my parents, buy things I want but it's also something for myself, that is only 100% mine. That I had dreamt of in my mind for ages, that it could also be for my younger self , who is the whole reason why I'm successful. Idk if that makes sense but I really appreciate your ideology in general. AND you're always so helpful whenever there's a difficult concept to explain as well!! That is every kind of successful I aspire to become.

So clearly, your hateful anon is wrong, not only morally ( to have sent hate for someone's success ) but also factually 😌

Hi bby,

God this is so beautiful and I need you to know this tells me a thousand time more things about the kind of person you are than about me. Kindness will take you everywhere in life.

I work really hard (like with my therapist) to be able to be proud of my accomplishments and not feel guilty. I am not in charge of how other people feel when they hear them. Those their own issues coming up. I really believe that the most humble way of dealing with insane elephant in the room kind of things is to be straight forward about it. Yes it happened. Yes it is a big deal. Yes I am happy about it. Doing the whole “it’s not a big deal whatever” is so fake to me. I don’t like lying. I do think the fact that I’ve hugged harry is a big deal. Why would I tell you otherwise?

Success is about not being afraid of setting up the goals you ACTUALLY want and then being willing to work for them even if it takes months or years. Nothing that is cool about my life came about without at least 2 years of prep. I am prepping 2024/5 now.

I also am very very aware of things I suck at. Confidence requires you to let go of some of these. I have absolutely no insecurity telling you all how bad I am at dancing, music, creative writing, art etc. It’s okay to be bad at stuff. No one is good at everything. And then there are stuff that I want to actually be better at and the first step is to be honest with yourself about being bad at it. And then making a plan and getting help. I reached a point in my anxiety for example that I did not want to live like that anymore. I got helped and my life is about a thousand % better.

Lastly, Einstein famously said that if you can’t explain a concept to your mother, you don’t actually understand it. And I live by that: people that refuse to share knowledge or are rude about it are not as smart as they think they are. It’s such a good feeling to share and help others, I can’t imagine not doing it. I owe my entire life to women that opened doors for me. The least I can do is keep doing that for others.

Anyway. You are cute and perfect.