#I need to get back into a real writing routine
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Guys I LIED it is so incredibly late right now but I actually needed to write this right now or it was going to kill me!!! anywhosies shitty lil sad stevepop fic under the cut >:D
The seal ain’t been broken yet. Creased ‘n torn lightly at the edges ‘n liftin’ at the corners. But not broken. It’s been sittin’ quietly in Steve’s back pocket, ‘n under his pillow, ‘n the inside of his vest beside his heart for three days. The letterin’ on the front is messy ‘n jagged like the writer was in a hurry. ‘N he was. Steve knew. He never did anythin’ slow or quiet. He was fast. Too fast to hold onto.
It’s a draggin’ day in August. A Thursday that aches deep in Steve’s chest like Darry’s knees when it’s bound to rain. He can feel somethin’ comin’. ‘N he knows he’s not ready for it. But that won’t stop it from comin’ anyway.
He sighs, leans back against the counter of the same gas station he’s been workin’ at since he was fourteen. Some days it's hard to remember it's been nearly a decade. Time slips by. ‘N one day you turn around ‘n you’re not sixteen goin’ on seventeen. ‘N you haven’t been for a long time.
The letter is worn down, grey at the edges where Steve has run his fingers around ‘n around. He slides a nail under the flap ‘n doesn’t make one more move to open it. It’s a familiar routine he’s been steppin’ the footsteps of since Darry had put it in his hands.
There’s a storm blowin’ in. The trees lean dangerously far ‘n the wind hisses ‘n whistles. No one else would bother comin’ in tonight. It would be a lonely closer. ‘N he’d go home to a lonely apartment. It followed him. It was company.
He lifts the letter to his face. ‘N Steve swears he can still smell him on it. Horses ‘n gasoline ‘n somethin’ sickly sweet he never could pin down. He puts his mouth in the place Soda’s had once been ‘n tears the seal with his teeth.
Hey Stevie,
It takes more effort than it should to not fold the damn thing right back up ‘n put it back in its damn worn-out envelope. But he’s done it now.
I don’t know how to go about startin’ this. Y’know, I feel a bit silly. Pony was always the writer. I’m not sure where I’m meant to start.
Anywhere. Start anywhere. Say anythin’. Say what I need you to.
I guess I better tell you what I’ve been up to. You know, you’re a hard man to get a hold of, Steve. Last two times I called Dar said you weren’t around. D’you remember when we were younger? God we were always But the signals real bad out here anyway. So I figured I’d write you. I hear you got a new apartment. I bet it’s real swell. Shit. It’s gotta be better than what I got out here.
A train whistle moans ‘n some shiny silver wrapper tumbles across the parkin’ lot ‘n pins itself to the door. Steve can see the skeleton of his beater in the back corner as it shudders against the gail. He still had cigarette ends ‘n soda pop tops from their junior year tucked under the ashtray. A match of Dallas’. A quarter he owed Johnny.
He thinks of the drive back across town to his apartment. Filled only with ghosts. Real swell.
I don’t got a room out here right now, but that’s just fine. I sleep out with the horses ‘n I’ll tell ya it’s quieter than the house used to be. What with the way Pony used to get up to all kinds a sleep talkin’ ‘n all of us comin’ ‘n goin’ at all hours. I can’t decide if I like it or not. I don’t sleep real well.
God. Ponyboy. He’d be graduatin’ college this year. Out in the fall. It was funny sometimes. He’d come home to visit ‘n they’d be knee to knee on the back porch steps sneakin’ a cig (Darry claimed the only good thing to come out of all the boys clearin’ out was his home didn’t smell like an ashtray anymore. Steve was obliged to let him tell himself whatever he needed). ‘N sometimes, when the sun hit the hollow lines of his face just right he was fourteen again ‘n hatin’ Steve only as much as Steve hated him. But then he’d blink ‘n they were both a long time from the fall of nineteen sixty-five.
The people out here are real good. Lotta dead heads ‘n hippies. Always goin’ on about the state of the world. I think Dally woulda hated ‘em. Pony probably digs ‘em. But he was always better at gettin’ the shit I didn’t understand.
The same folks who had bashed in Steve’s head when they were kids ran around high as kites singin’ about peace ‘n fuckin’ love. Steve couldn’t go for the goddamn hippies. But there was no such thing as a greaser anymore. ‘N it was tuff to slum it. God, Pony’d have somethin’ real smart to say about it.
Anyways. We’re out in El Paso right now. I climbed up the roof last night ‘n I swore I could see Juarez from here. The boy who rides the barrel races said that was stupid. Juarez was still miles ‘n miles away. I suppose he’s right, but he ain’t kind.
Darry always said you don’t gotta like who you work with, you just gotta do the job. Though, don’t tell him that. I bet he’d latch right onto it ‘n insist it was reason enough I come right home. Really. Don’t tell him. ‘Cause I really might just listen.
Steve squeezes his eyes shut. He can see himself peelin’ down the street chasin’ the storm, takin’ the front steps to the Curtis home in one leap, openin’ the door Darry still leaves unlocked. He can see himself slammin’ the letter down ‘n watchin’ as Darry picks the phone up ‘n calls him home.
‘N then he opens his eyes ‘n knows he never will.
But I can’t complain. I’m pretty well fed (better than the horses) ‘n mostly well paid (certainly better than the horses). I ride in a couple hours. I always get nervous beforehand. I wish you were here.
Steve crumples the paper. Grips it tight ‘n flinches at the sound the door makes as it slams open. No one’s there but the wind. ‘N the shadows of two boys peelin’ in from a rodeo. Or horsin’ around after a long day in September. Or sittin’ in the kind of companionable silence you could only get by knowin’ someone better than you knew yourself.
Once we finish this circuit, I’ll be home—for a while, at least. I miss you, I miss everythin’. I’m sorry. For all of it.
‘N he knows. He knows he is. ‘N it doesn’t make a goddamn difference. ‘N Steve’s never been religious but if God was real he was a cruel bastard. To make you be able to hate the thing you loved. And for what? Gettin’ the chance you didn’t. ‘N it makes him sick to his stomach. But Steve’s never been good at changin’.
I’ll see you soon, Stevie. I got so much to tell you. I lo-
Yours, Sodapop :)
Steve tears the letter straight in half. ‘N then he sinks to the floor ‘n sobs like he hasn’t in many years. ‘N probably won’t again.
just got an absolutely despicable idea for a Stevepop fic I need u guys to know I am making this exact face
#is this anything??#these boys make me a lil insane actually#like they rot in my brain#all day#n i do nothin but make their lives worse#ANYWAYS#idk if this made ANY sense#but basically this is a unverse where soda never tears his ACL#n hes a travelin rodeo rider#n hes writing home to steve#who never made it out of tusla#EUGH#the thought of any of them not making it out makes me actually truly so sad i cant think straight#RUINS my night#so uhh sorry to pass it on#my b#heart#<33#the outsiders angst#the outsiders#the outsiders fanfiction#steve randle#sodapop curtis#ALSO WHOOPS!#JUST REALIZED IM POSTING THIS ON THE LOVELY HORSEGIRLSODAS REBLOG#SORRY LOVE#stevepop#my writing#writers on tumblr#Spotify
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instead of doing "x things I learned at x", I'd much rather do "y things I'm excited for at y"
#thinking about a substack post......#I haven#t done anything on there in so long#I need to get back into a real writing routine#rn I'm mostly languidly reading stuff for my master's#not nearly as much as I should#so I might as well restructure everything so I can feel alive
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acts of service - toji fushiguro
summary - you love toji and you'd never let him feel like a burden
warning - angst, mention of an argument, going to bed angry, acts of service, husband toji, fluff at the end, soft!toji
the bedroom door slams behind you as your heart pounds. your jaw hurts from biting back words you’ll regret. you and toji had your third argument already this week. his muffled voice tells you he’s still frustrated as he talks to you through the door, but you don’t respond. you’re too angry.
his voice eventually fades, and the sound of his retreating footsteps tells you he’s given up. you curl under the covers, still fuming, until the warmth of the bed lulls you into a restless sleep.
—
hours later, you wake up with a dry throat and your chest still tight from the argument. slipping out of bed, you quietly make your way to the kitchen. the first thing you notice is toji’s lunch bag on the counter, already zipped shut. you always pack his lunches—an unspoken routine between you two, one small way you show your love.
after unzipping the bag, your heart sinks– inside are a few hastily thrown snacks: a bag of chips, a granola bar, an apple. no sandwich, no leftovers, no real meal to sustain him through his grueling workday. it’s clear he didn’t expect you to pack his lunch tonight.
he didn’t want to burden you.
your chest tightens as tears prick at the corners of your eyes. the anger is still there, but it can’t overpower the ache in your heart. toji might be stubborn, even infuriating, but you love him. even now, after everything.
you grab his lunch bag, emptying out the snacks with trembling hands. tonight’s leftovers sit untouched in the fridge. you plate the meal carefully, transferring it into containers and neatly tucking it into his lunch bag. you even add a few extra touches: a little pack of soy sauce, the cookies you baked recently, and some fruit.
finally, you grab a scrap of paper and a pen. for a moment, you hesitate, unsure what to write. then the words spill out, simple and raw:
i’m still mad at you. but i love you more than anything. please eat well today.
you fold the note and tuck it into the lunch bag before zipping it shut again. a deep sigh escapes your lips as you set it back on the counter, right where he’ll see it in the morning.
the anger isn’t gone, but neither is the love. you head back to bed, the heaviness in your chest lightened just a little. you hope you can both start again tomorrow.
—
in the early hours of the morning, toji stands at the bedroom door, his lunch bag clutched in one hand. he’s staring at it like it’s the most precious thing in the world, a faint crease between his brows. the way his jaw tightens and his shoulders drop says more than words ever could.
he doesn’t deserve you, not after last night. that’s the thought running through his head as he quietly enters the room and sets the bag quietly on the dresser. he only meant to come in to get his work clothes. when his eyes land on you, curled up in bed, your face soft and peaceful in sleep, he knows he can’t leave just yet.
before he can stop himself, he’s moving toward you. his weight dips the mattress as he climbs in behind you, slow and deliberate, his body fitting against yours like it was made to. he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you gently against his chest, his warmth seeping into you.
you stir slightly, murmuring incoherently, but you don’t wake. toji presses his face into your hair, breathing you in. his lips lightly brush the back of your neck.
“i’m sorry” he whispers, his voice low and rough, almost inaudible. “for last night. for everything”.
his hand slides up to rest on your stomach, his thumb tracing lazy, absentminded circles over the fabric of your shirt. he’s not expecting forgiveness—not yet—but he needs you to feel this, even in your sleep.
he kisses the curve of your shoulder, then the space just behind your ear. each kiss is soft, tender, filled with everything he struggles to say out loud. “i don’t deserve you” he murmurs against your skin, his voice breaking slightly. “but i’m so damn lucky to have you anyway”.
you shift again, a small sigh escaping your lips as you unconsciously press closer to him. toji tightens his hold, burying his face deeper into the crook of your neck. the world outside is waiting for him, but for now, all he cares about is this—this quiet moment with you in his arms, the scent of your shampoo, the rhythm of your breathing lulling him into a sense of peace he didn’t know he needed.
“i love you” he says softly, his words barely a whisper, meant more for himself than for you. “even when i mess up. always”.
he stays there, holding you, until the weight in his chest feels a little lighter and the clock tells him he can’t stay any longer. but as he finally pulls away, tucking the blanket carefully around you, he swears to himself that he’ll make things right. you deserve nothing less.
--
a/n: this was inspired by a tiktok i saw. i hope you guys enjoyed. thank you for all the love recently!! <3
#levisjinchuriki#my works#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk au#jujutsu kaisen#toji smut#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji x you#toji x reader#fushiguro toji#jjk men#toji fushiguro smut#fushiguro toji x reader#jjk fushiguro
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farmer's daughter
logan howlett x fem!reader
MDNI! 18+
!includes!: primal!logan, heavy on the breeding kink, kinda sorta dubious consent, older!logan with younger!reader(LEGAL!!!), lumberjack farmer logan with his boss's daughter
wc: 1,040
a/n: naturally, the first fic that ive written after being busy asf and not being able to write would be a lumberjack logan breeding kink smut. sorry not sorry💗also i definitely did not proofread this
---
His eyes followed you as you made your way up from the pond that was on the many acres of land that your family owned. They selfishly drank in your half-naked body in that tiny little red and white checkered bikini you adorned. He cursed under his breath when your hands grasped the middle of your bathing suit top in fists, an attempt you made at wringing out the dripping water from your previous evening swim.
Logan knew it was wrong. There was an underlying guilt that laced his perverted thoughts while he fantasized about you, his boss’s daughter. Such a young, sweet thing, you were. Always offering him a glass of iced tea when you knew he had a hot, grueling day at work out on your father’s farm. Even sweeter when you decided to graciously bless his eyes and traipse about in barely nothing but a skimpy little bikini that he knew you wore just for him.
That guilt was pushed far away and forgotten in the back of his mind when your family was out of town and he was able to take you in your bed, any trace of innocence left in the farmer’s daughter stolen. It had become routine for the two of you, like second nature; when your parents left town to get things sorted out for work, he was finally able to have you like he always daydreamed about while enduring a hard days work on the farm.
This was one of those days and you made it clear with the obvious show you had put on for him as you finished your swim. And that’s why he now had you pinned in your bed, bikini long forgotten on your bedroom floor.
“Tryin’ to distract me by wearing close to nothing while I’m working?,” he accused while thrusting you into your bed, your body rocking up and down against the sheets with each unforgiving snap of his hips. Logan’s voice was a low, husky growl next to your ear and you whimpered, legs wrapping around his waist in attempt to somehow be even closer than you already were. “Needed me to fuck you so bad you had to put on a little show in that skimpy little bikini of yours, huh Bub?”
His degrading yet sultry words made your pussy clench around his cock, eyes rolling back into your head. “Yes I- oh god, right there!- needed you to fuck me,” you whined and cried out incoherently. Your inability to even form a full sentence only deepened his desire to defile you, to make you his. His teeth nipped at the tender skin below your jaw and he sucked there, earning a sharp yelp from you. You knew that would leave a mark that you’d have to lie and cover up to your parents when they returned home, keeping you and Logan’s dirty little secret safe and hidden away.
“Looked real pretty,” he drawled against your skin, the compliment an antithesis to his previous degrading comments. “Prettier like this, though.” He propped himself up with one arm to take in the site of you writhing beneath him, tears of pleasure and pain threatening to escape the corners of your eyes. Logan’s praise made your orgasm build up in your belly and he sensed it as your pussy choked his thick cock. His other hand slid between your bodies and pressed on your lower abdomen while he thrusted up into you and hit that sweet little spot deep inside of you that you were convinced only he could reach. You cried out and fell undone beneath him, your nails raking down his back leaving angry red marks that healed over and disappeared as quick as they were made. “That’s it, just like that princess.” He planted sloppy kisses along your jaw and neck as you rode out that heavenly high of your orgasm.
With you still shaking from pleasure and overstimulation, Logan swiftly flipped you over so that you were face down and yanked your hips up to meet his where he sunk inside of you again, making you cry out his name. Your fingers dug into the bedsheets while he chased his own orgasm, the world nothing but a blur around you. The sounds that filled your room were nothing but filthy as his his slapped against your ass and your former orgasm made obvious with the wet noises that came from your pussy with each thrust.
“I’m gonna fill this sweet little pussy up, y’got that?” He grunted as he drove himself into you from behind, strong fingers digging into the plush of your hips.
“Logan-,” you struggled to speak, interrupted by your own moans. “Not on the pill.”
A low groan erupted from him at your words. That primal urge that he harbored deep down stirred, the risk and control that came with impregnating you taking over all of his senses. He did not slow down or pull out like you expected him to, rather he increased his intensity and used one hand to keep your face buried in the mattress. “Don’t care,” he growled. “That’s better for what I’m about to do to you.”
“Wait!-“
You were cut off by a loud groan and the warm feeling of his seed spilling inside of you. You broke down beneath him and moaned into the sheets, the dirty feeling of his cum filling your pussy erasing any worry you had. Logan continued to drive his cock inside of you, the head of it slamming angrily against your cervix in attempt to push his cum as deep as possible. You rocked your hips back against him and yelped as you pushed him even deeper, blinded by your own lust and need for him. He thrust himself into you one last time before slipping out of you, only to replace his cock with two fingers, pushing any cum that leaked out of your sore hole back inside of you, making you twitch at overstimulation.
Finally, Logan removed his fingers and collapsed next to you, pulling you in. He brought his hand to your mouth and parted your lips with his fingers, letting you taste the mixture of yourselves that glistened on them. “Atta girl."
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#x men wolverine#x men#wolverine x you#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x you#logan howlett imagine#x men logan#x men origins wolverine#smut#james logan howlett#wolverine smut
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Astro notes : Short N Sweet <3 Mercurial Design.
Mercury in the 1st - Comical. Socially abundant. Can be very quiet or loud. No in between. I love them actually. Would love someone that can match their flow, however most can never keep up with their every flowing wave. Their like the wind in human form. Their mind is a capsule of all the memories and experiences they've accumilated with time. Very interesting beings and could show you everything and nothing at the same time.
Mercury in the 2nd - This group has common sense enough to figure things out in such a small period of time that they can do almost anything to get what they want. They have issues with exploring things at first hand (taurus is the original ruler of the 2nd) so they can be a little stubborn but over time they quickly learn for new things to come to them from time to time. Very deep thinkers. Can be very open minded when they WANT to be.
Mercury in the 3rd - Intriguing personalities and are the gift that keeps giving. Soft spoken and has a mind thats free to any and everything. Really reluctant on having new friends but can become the bestest of friends later. they can really shy at times. There most open to conversations with strangers, it seems as they can let their whole world out from their mind and open a door to someone who is willing to listen. Beautiful spirits.
Mercury in the 4th - Sweet childlike personalities and honestly their mystique is one of a kind. Going into their world is like walking into a magical novel filled with fantasy, and coming out and it all disappears. Like a spell. Very captivating artists, and most keep the good stuff in a treasure chest, only the real ones will get a chance to open up whats inside.
Mercury in the 5th - Playful. Soft spoken. Interesting. Knowledgeable. Carefree. Those are the 5 things that is most prominent about their character. They will speak to you through song, writing, or even through and instrument. They work real well with their hands, if you can catch what I mean ;) Smooth charmers and could be a mini casanova so watch out for them. Very seductive.
Mercury in 6th - Talkaholics. Chatty Patties. You get my drift lol. Their caring to the ones they love and are advocates for everyone or everything such as animals and plants or even homeless people. You cannot get away with being mean to someone if they catch they are going to say some lol. Can be very mean spirited to the ones who deserve it. Overall, very practical and humane about things that need most of our attention. They aren't boring, their routines can switch up a lot depending on their mood so be easy on them.
Mercury in 7th - Charming individuals whose seductive prowess come out like a lightning bolt. Everybody likes them. Children come up to them the most tho. They have an angelic presence to their personalities and can get anyone to be on their side. Charismatic. Be careful, because the same way they can use this gift for good, they can switch and you know... do some damage ;)
Mercury in the 8th - Something about their wordplay is very special and potent. They have a gift with words that can transform the way you feel, think, breathe, etc. They have knowledge and insight about the world that most will never accept to be the truth. So they guard these secrets with their life, holding on until the ashes fall away connecting back with the wind. And allowing the circle of life to continue. The mind transforms a lot and they become a new person every once and a while. Be easy on them, their brain can take them to many stages psychologically.
Mercury in the 9th - Have a wit and charm to them that keeps the energy going. They aren't use to having people wanting to be around them or being attracted to them a lot however this happens more often than not. People love what they have to say, and want to hear more of how they view things from time to time. They are really interesting to say the least. Like what all do you know?
Mercury in the 10th - The audience admires these beings. Naturally charismatic and people love to see them on the big screen. They literally have a tv personality and can go viral at some point in their life. Gotta watch out for the people who always have their hands out, their naturally giving and love to share their time and energy freely.. a little too much. Keep your circle small.
Mercury in the 11th - Have a natural knack with entertaining all sorts of groups. Can commit to a cause like no other and get as many people on board. Very persuasive and social skills are through the roof. The social awkward become to most popular. The loner because the one everyone knows. These individuals are great with turning something that was 'lame' into someone fun and cool. Very different from the crowd, which what allows people to see them for their soul and not their flesh.
Mercury in the 12th - Spiritually inclined to feel the waves of the universe. Captivating the stars in the night and then going home to serve the divine with a painted canvas. A gifted creator who's only purpose is to live and die. To create and conquer the mind. The brain is the place of peace, when it wants to be. And when its not, they transmute that energy into something no other than. Something creative. Something special. The universe uses them as the vessel to give a message to the audience who desires to hear the words of God. You will never get another one of them in your life if you ever meet them.
#astrology thoughts#astrology theories#astrology#astrology observations#tropical astrology#astro observations#astro knowledge#deja's astro observations
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Safe and Sound - Jacaerys Velaryon
A/N: Hi, hi! The hotd brain rot is REAL. All I can think about is this beautiful prince above. I'm working on a longer story for him, but in the meantime, enjoy is blurb. This was jointly inspired by a genuine bad dream I had (the brain rot!!), and the Taylor Swift song that was playing when I was writing this at work. Hope you enjoy!
TS Prompt #7: Safe and Sound
Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Reader Word Count: 1.3k Synopsis: Jace comforts the reader after they wake up from a terrible nightmare.
Warning: This does not follow the canon, but I do base the nightmare off of real events that have yet to happen in the show. Do not read if you don't want spoilers.
Sweat drenches your brow. Swords clash, arrows whistle through the air, and dragon fire paints the sky orange.
Your heart thuds as you spin around amid the chaos, searching for a green dragon or for a head of dark, curly hair. For any trace of Jace.
An ear-splitting scream rattles the sky, and before you can make sense of what you are seeing, Vermax's body crashes into the water, sending up a raucous wave.
Panic flows through your body. Searching, searching, searching. You need to see any sign that he made it, that he is alive. The water is riotous, making it impossible to figure out where he landed.
You nearly fall to your knees in relief when you see him crawl up onto floating wreckage, injured badly, but still breathing. You know you need to get to him, need to do whatever it takes to get him out of enemy-infested water.
As you move towards the coast, you have no plan in mind. Out of the corner of your eye, you see an approaching ship, making its way towards Jace. You run, wanting to scream his name, but also not wanting to give away his location.
You reach the shoreline and the water laps at your feet. Jace spots you the moment the approaching ship spots him.
You know he won't be able to get to the shore in time. You wade into the water, watching as he struggles to swim towards you. He's too far away, too weak, and you're not strong enough to pull him back.
The sound of a crossbow trigger pierces through the crash of waves. Jace's eyes widen - looking into yours - as the arrow speeds towards his chest.
"Jace!" you scream.
You tear out of your dream in a cold sweat, waking to your dark bedroom.
Jace wakes when you scream, crying out his name. His eyes adjust too slowly to the darkness, so he grabs for you blindly. He needs to know you're alright, needs to feel your warmth, your pulse. It thunders beneath his thumb as his hand wraps around your wrist.
His eyes finally adjust and he sees you sitting up in bed, your night gown wet with sweat.
"What is it?" he asks, sitting up next to you. "What happened?" He does a quick scan of the room, confirming his first guess. The room is unchanged from the evening before. There is no danger within its walls, just within your head.
You've had another nightmare.
He brushes the hair off your forehead as you put a hand to your pounding heart, clearly coming to the same realization. Jace leans closer and kisses your shoulder gently.
"It was just a dream," he says lowly, his lips still pressed to your skin. You take deep breaths as you try to relax. You have yet to look at him.
"Y/N," he says, "It was just a dream." He tugs on your arm and finally, you look at him. Even in the dark room, he can tell your skin has paled.
"It didn't feel like just a dream," you say. He frowns and rubs soft circles on your back.
This has become your miserable routine. You wake up in the middle of the night, screaming, and he sits next to you, feeling useless to change anything.
"Tell me about it," he says quietly.
"It's the same dream I always have," you say, looking at him sadly, trembling. He pulls you into his arms, holding your shaking hands in his. His gaze focuses on the Valyrian steel ring he put on your finger a year ago. The promises he made to you that day flash in his mind.
"The Battle of the Gullet," he says in response.
"Yes."
"I regret ever telling you about that day," he says with a shake of his head. The movement jostles his hair, and you tuck it behind his ear gently, your hand linger on his face. "I'm fine, Y/N."
"I watched you die."
"What do you see now?" he asks, taking the hand cupping his cheek, pressing a loving kiss to the palm. He moves it down to his bare chest, to the beating heart beneath his warm skin. "I am alive and well."
You continue to frown at him, but your hand presses to his chest. You take a few more deep breaths.
"I'm sorry," you say, tears forming in your eyes as you look up at him. He shakes his head, his heart hurting that you would ever think that your pain was an inconvenience to him.
"Hey," he says, pulling you into his chest, your tears falling onto his skin. "You don't ever have to be sorry."
"I know that we are safe now. That war is over. But I am still so scared," you say, and on the last word your voice breaks. Jace holds you tighter.
"I know. I am, too, sometimes."
"Really?"
"Really," he says, "You think I don't have nightmares about that day? Or any from the past year."
"You don't ever tell me about them," you say, pulling away to look him in the eye.
"That's because I don't want to worry you," he says, smiling shyly, playing with your hands. "There are memories I have that I wouldn't dream of sharing with you, that I don't want you to carry."
"That doesn't seem fair," you say, "You get to worry about me but I don't get to worry about you?"
"It's hard," he says, his eyes still focused on your hands. "Sometimes I still see the dying dragons. Still remember when I'd look outside and see everything on fire. Still see the war raging."
"But you don't seem like any of it haunts you," you say, leaning in so he'll look at you. He gives you a soft smile, his thumb tracing circles on your hand.
"Guess I've gotten good at hiding it."
"Tell me how," you say quietly. He hates that he can hear the longing in your voice. He notices the dark circles under your eyes. How many nights in a row have you woken from your sleep like this?
"I just try to remember everything good that I still have. Vermax is alive. My mother is alive. You are alive," he says. "Safe and sound."
"Safe and sound," you say disbelievingly.
"You are, I swear it. I won't let anything happen to you," he says. "Ever again."
"I know," you say, touching his cheek softly. "I love you."
"I love you," he says. He draws you in close and kisses your lips slowly, his movements languid, like he's got all the time in the world. He hopes you feel it. Hopes you realize that this is what the rest of your existence together looks like. No wars, no death, just the pair of you in this room, reminding each other what you fought for.
"Let's get some sleep," he says as he lays the two of you down. He adjusts the sheets around you, keeping you close to his body. You run a hand over his chest, humming softly.
"I'm not sure I'll be able to," you say.
"Just close your eyes," he says, kissing your forehead, feeling the pull of sleep wash over him. "You're alright, Y/N. No one can hurt you or I now."
"Promise?" you ask.
"I do."
"You'll never leave me here alone," you say. It's not a question.
"I'll never let you go," he says, tucking you in tighter. "You and I are safe and sound."
"Safe and sound," you mumble. Jace waits a few moments for your breathing to fall into a slow rhythm. When he knows you're asleep he lets himself close his eyes. He vows to himself that he'll do whatever it takes to make sure you never feel so scared again. He vows that you'll never feel ashamed to talk to him when you do. And he vows to have more moments like this, with you asleep on his chest, his hand in your hair, and less like the one he jerked out of sleep to.
#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon x you#jace velaryon x reader#jace velaryon x you#jacaerys velaryon#jace velaryon#hotd#house of the dragon
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the real secret to self-improvement no one talks about
hi lovelies, it's mindy
self-improvement isn’t just about perfect morning routines or buying cute stationery. while those things are fun, they’re only surface-level. real self-improvement goes deeper. it’s about creating meaningful, lasting change in your life. if you’re tired of the same recycled advice and want to level up in a way that sticks, this post is for you.
✨ 1. repair before you upgrade
you can’t build a glow-up on a broken foundation. most people dive straight into new habits and routines without addressing the things holding them back. maybe it’s overthinking, procrastination, or negative self-talk. whatever it is, fixing those cracks first will make everything else easier.
actionable tip: spend time journaling or reflecting on the things that sabotage your progress. ask yourself:
what’s draining my energy?
what beliefs are holding me back?
what habits do I need to stop?
self-awareness is the first step to meaningful change.
✨ 2. curate your inner aesthetic
we talk so much about physical aesthetics; outfits, skincare, room decor. but what about your mental aesthetic? your inner world is just as important as what’s on the outside.
ask yourself: is my mind calm and confident, or is it cluttered with negativity and self-doubt? start curating your mental space like you’d curate your pinterest boards.
unfollow people who drain you.
limit scrolling and spend time doing things that actually bring you joy.
romanticize stillness, it doesn't matter if it’s taking a slow walk, reading, or just lying in bed and thinking about life.
actionable tip: create a mental vision board. write down three feelings you want to embody (e.g., peace, gratitude, confidence) and focus on habits that help you get there.
✨ 3. think small to go big
one of the biggest mistakes in self-improvement is focusing on huge, intimidating goals. instead, start with micro-challenges, small, manageable steps that feel fun and doable.
for example:
instead of aiming to wake up at 5 a.m., try waking up 15 minutes earlier for a week.
don’t overhaul your diet overnight; start by drinking one extra glass of water daily.
tiny wins build momentum, and that momentum keeps you going.
actionable tip: pick one micro-challenge to start this week. it could be as simple as organizing your desk or texting a friend you’ve been meaning to reconnect with. small changes lead to big transformations.
✨ 4. audit your environment
your environment shapes your energy. if your space is cluttered, your mind will feel the same. start by decluttering one area of your life.
but don’t stop at physical spaces. think about the people you surround yourself with too. are they uplifting and inspiring, or are they draining your energy? leveling up sometimes means letting go of what doesn’t align with your future self.
actionable tip: dedicate one day this week to an “environment refresh.” declutter one physical space and evaluate one relationship. ask yourself: does this align with the person i want to become?
✨ 5. embrace your soft power
self-improvement doesn’t have to be intense or overwhelming. there’s strength in soft, intentional growth. it’s not about becoming someone else; it’s about becoming the best version of you.
romanticize your growth. make it feel special:
play calming music while you clean your room.
use a pretty notebook for your to-do lists.
light a candle before you start studying.
the more enjoyable your journey feels, the more likely you are to stick with it.
actionable tip: turn self-improvement into a ritual. add little touches that make the process feel fun and cozy, like wearing your favorite outfit while journaling or drinking tea while planning your week.
✨ key takeaways
real self-improvement isn’t about quick fixes or following trends. it’s about improving yourself in small steps that align with YOUR path.
hopefully this post helped you all
<3 mindy.
#selfimprovement#glowup#personaldevelopment#mentalhealth#productivity#selfcare#romanticizeyourlife#girlblogger#self improvement#life improvement#best self#dream girl#girl blogger#that girl#becoming that girl#glowettee
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A Neighbor With An Alien Secret
"When are you going to finish the report? It's taking foreveeeer. His wife and kids will be back soon from church!" I complain to Matthew, my hot, muscular neighbor who is focused on writing the monthly report for his kind.
I’m lying on Matt’s bed, bored as I waited for him. Earlier this morning, as soon as I saw Matt’s wife leaving with their kids for church, I didn’t waste a moment—I knocked on Matt’s door and walked right in.
"Be patient, I'm almost done. I need to put in the report every tiny detail about my experience of living as Matt for the past month. This is very important, you know that." He says while still writing.
I stand up and walk towards him. I am completely naked—there's no need to wear clothes around Matt anymore. Standing behind him, I start to gently massage his large, broad shoulders.
"You're not going to tell them about me right?" I ask teasingly, running my hands down to his huge pecs and squeezing them. My fingers quickly find his nipples, and I play with them, making Matt stop typing and let out a deep, baritone moan.
"Of course not. If they find out, they will exterminate both of us. You for knowing too much, and me for letting a human know about our kind."
I look at the small hole at the top of Matt's shaved head, it is no larger than the diameter of a pencil. I then kiss Matt's neck and whisper in his ear to stand up. He obeys and looks at me, confused. Taking his place on the chair, I spread my legs, displaying my hard throbbing cock, and smirk at him. "C'mon, sit on my cock. This way I get to fuck you while you still finish your dumb report."
A grin forms on Matt's lips, and he slowly pulls down his yellow shorts, his thick and soft cock is now hanging between his legs, but that's not why I came here.
He turns around and slowly sits down on my cock, his muscular ass swallows my cock until I am fully inside of him. We both let out a loud, shared moan.
"Unghh... ahhh... Fuck, it feels so good. I don't understand why Matt never used his ass to feel pleasure before." Matt says as he presses his ass against my crotch, careful not to crush me under his weight.
"Matt was the straightest guy I've ever known, he would rather be dead than to be fucked by another man. Gladly, you know how to use his muscles better than him, especially the muscles in his ass," I gave his ass a hard slap and he started bouncing harder. He fucked himself on my cock as his manly hands typed on the keyboard at an inhumane pace.
"Can you read the report to me, please? I'm curious to know what you wrote about Matt," I ask between moans. Matt obeys and starts reading his report.
"Host integration has been highly successful. The capsule was inserted in the vessel's brain and I'm now fully in control of Matthew Grayson, a 32-year-old human male residing in suburban North America. Grayson’s wife, Emily, and their two children remain unaware of the takeover. No one knows that the real Matthew is gone and that his body is just a lifeless meat puppet controlled by an extraterrestrial creature. As per protocol, I've been studying his daily routines, habits, and interpersonal relationships..."
As he continued reading the report, my mind went back to when everything started a month ago.
-------------------------------------
Matt was your typical douchbag of a neighbor, he was a religious alpha male with a wife and four kids, and with very conservative beliefs. So of course he hated having me—a gay guy—as his neighbor, and he would be proud to always let me know that. He would give me intimidating looks whenever he saw me looking toward him, or exaggerated whispers to his wife as I passed by, Matt had made it his personal mission to remind me that I didn’t belong there.
One day, after coming back from church, Matt went to his porch to smoke since his wife wouldn't allow him to smoke inside the house.
I was carefully watching him smoke from my window, trying my best to keep myself unnoticed, the last thing I wanted was for him to find out I liked to spy on him from my window. He looked so good with his broad, muscular build accentuated by the snug fit of his vintage-style shirt and tight brown pants. His huge, bulging arms flexed as he lit the cigar. I loved the way his tailored trousers hugged his thick thighs and firm ass.
You know a man is a real alpha when they act like one even when they don't know they're being watched.
His confident posture exuded a raw masculinity that made it impossible not to feel intimidated. Every detail, from the way he held the lighter to the casual way he took his first puff, made him look effortlessly commanding. I started wondering how hot it would be to watch him use those strong arms to jerk off, how it must feel to fuck him, to have him moaning like a slut... I was brought back to reality when I saw a small object hovering over Matt.
It was a UFO!
Was I really back to reality or was I still fantasizing? I asked myself in disbelief. Matt was too busy smoking to notice the small spaceship hovering over him. I thought about opening the window and warning him, but something stopped me; why should I? I asked myself and couldn't find any reason. So I decided to just see what happened next.
Suddenly a ray of light shot out from under the UFO and pierced straight into Matt’s head. He immediately froze and I saw something small inside the light traveling down from the ship to Matt's head, it was small and fast like a bullet. The light then vanished as quickly as it appeared and the small spaceship flew away, disappearing into the sky.
I had no idea what I had witnessed, but I knew it did something to Matt, because the cigar fell from his mouth, his muscular arms dropped limply to his side and his head dropped forward right after. He just stood there like he fell asleep while standing.
And was that smoke coming out of his head? I had so many questions.
Suddenly, Matt stirred awake, his head moved with a stiff, mechanical precision as he scanned his surroundings. Then, his eyes locked onto mine. Panic shot through me, and I ducked beneath the window.
Damn it, he saw me! I thought, my heart started pounding, I knew I was in danger. A few minutes later, I heard someone knocking on my door, actually, knocking was a kind word, he was practically pounding on it. When I opened it, Matt forced himself inside and closed the door behind him, he roughly pinned me against the wall with only one hand on my neck.
"So you were spying on me? What did you saw you fucker?" He asked with a calm, yet Intimidating voice. His grip tightened, and as he pressed me against the wall, I was able to see the top of Matt's head, there was a small fresh hole in it.
"I know you're not Matt anymore. I won't tell anyone! I promise!" I managed to say.
Matt's expression softened, and he loosened his grip, allowing me to fall to the floor. He stood over me, gazing down with a contemplative expression. "The protocol says I should exterminate you."
I gulped and looked at him with scared eyes. Waiting and hoping there was going to be a "but" soon.
"But I won't do that."
I sighed in relief. Matt then grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me back on my feet.
He suddenly dropped to his knees in front of me and started to unzip my pants. "I'm willing to buy your silence," the alien said in Matt's deep voice, "I've been studying Matt for the past month, and as I observed and learned everything about him, I also had to learn about everyone in Matt's life, and that includes you. I've been watching from afar how bad Matt treated you for the sole fact of you being a same-sex attracted human," he then took out my hard cock and started to stroke it. Feeling Matt's calloused manly hand wrapping around my shaft felt like heaven. "Since when I chose Matthew as my vessel, I had to learn his personality, his habits and behavior, I had to learn his homophobic beliefs... it just didn't feel right, I didn't want to replicate his bad behavior, but I was ordered by my superiors to mimic the vessel's every personality trait down to the core, so I would have to keep doing to you what Matthew always did. Today was finally the day of the takeover, to make him my vessel," he then looked up at me and chuckled, "But I didn’t expect you to be spying on Matt from your window, though I'm not surprised you did, it makes sense why a gay human like you would feel attracted to a body like this," He double flexed his biceps in a cocky manner, "This changes everything now. I know you want to feel Matthew's mouth wrapped around your cock, to see him submit to you. You can have all that right now, all you have to do is keep your mouth shut."
The sight of Matthew—my once-arrogant, homophobic neighbor—kneeling before me and stroking me, was surreal. He didn't give me time to answer, his strong hands grasped me firmly, and his lips parted as he leaned forward and took my cock into his mouth. The first touch of his warm, wet mouth made my legs tremble, and I had to steady myself against the wall.
But I don't know if it was because it was Matt's first time sucking cock, or the alien just had no idea of what he was doing, but the blowjob was far from enjoyable.
Matt took my cock out of his mouth and looked up at me. Noticing my face, he said, "Sorry, I don't know how to give a proper blowjob. I still haven't learned this human practice. I thought that with Matt as my vessel, there was no use learning about that."
"It's fine, you can just use Matt's tongue."
"I have an idea. Put the tip of your index finger in Matt's hole."
"Matt's hole? You mean his asshole?"
"No, I mean the entrance hole in his head," Matt said, pointing at it.
I looked apprehensive, but I did what I was told and inserted the tip of my finger in the head hole.
"Now think of blowjobs, like all the blowjobs you've ever done or watched."
I did what he told me and started to think of every blowjob that I'd done, as well as the ones I've watched. Matt's eyes immediately rolled back and his head moved, taking my cock back in his mouth. The tip of my finger was still inside the hole.
The alien now clearly knew what he was doing, guiding Matt’s head with expert precision. His tongue flicked and swirled, drawing shaky breaths from me as he worked like an expert. It was like I was controlling his tongue with my thoughts.
As he took me deeper, his once-mocking eyes now rolled back like he was feeling pleasure, but I knew that was not the real reason. I couldn’t suppress the groan that escaped me, my hands grabbed his shaved head, “Fuck... Matt, you're such a good cocksucker! You're doing exactly how It's in my head! Mmmhhfh... It's like I'm controlling you!”
Matt responded with a muffled hum, the vibrations of his deep voice sending a jolt of pleasure through my body. His hands gripped my ass firmly, keeping me steady as he worked me relentlessly, his mouth was so hot and eager. With my free hand, I grabbed the back of Matt's head and I started to face fuck him real hard, and as I reached my peak, I buried his face in my crotch and came down his throat. "Mmhh... ohh... y-yes... This is what... Unghh... you deserve you asshole!" I moaned.
My finger finally unplugged the hole, and his eyes went back to normal. Matt then pulled back slowly, his lips curled into a satisfied smile as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"What was that?" I asked breathlessly.
"I gave you momentary access to Matt's brain, I turned off his brain and connected his body to your brain instead. So, do we have a deal?"
"Your secret is safe with me, as long as you let me enjoy Matt's body."
Matt snickered, "Good, humans are so easy."
The next morning, I looked out of my window and saw Matt smoking on his porch like he always did. This time he was shirtless and wearing a cap to hide the hole in his head.
"Good morning, Matt," I said out loud. I wasn't afraid of him seeing me anymore.
Matt looked at my direction and exhaled a puff of smoke. Gosh, the alien really did a good job at impersonating Matt's cocky mannerisms. With the cigar still in his mouth, Matt unzipped his pants and took out his huge, long cock. As he held the cigar with his left hand, he stroked his shaft with the other.
I was also jerking off behind the window, watching my hot muscular straight neighbor jerking off his massive cock all for me to enjoy.
-------------------------------------
Matt is still fucking himself on my cock, having just sent the report to his superiors, he was now completely focused on the task at hand, or better, on the ass, “Get on all fours on the bed,” I finally tell him.
He obeys immediately, standing up and getting on all fours on the bed like he’s done this a hundred times before. His ass is right there, big, muscular, and begging for attention under those tight yellow shorts. He then tilts his head back, exposing the hole in his head.
“Please, I need you to use me like your slut, sir! Plug my headhole with your finger, and my asshole with your cock!"
I almost laugh at how far this guy has fallen. Who am I to say no? I climb up behind him, sliding my hands over his thick hips, those shorts barely containing his ass. One tug, and they’re gone. I insert myself back inside him, making Matt moan in pleasure. He starts moving his ass back and forth, but I stop him with a hard slap, making him whimper. "Stop moving, that's not how I like It!" I grunt.
"Sorry, sir!"
With a wide grin, I insert the tip of my finger in his head hole, when I'm sure we're connected, I start to think of all the gay bottoms that I've watched before, how they acted and performed in those videos. For a long time I've watched those videos fantasizing about Matt being in their place, and now I have the opportunity to live my fantasies.
Matt's eyes roll back as images of gay men being fucked like sluts invade his mind. Moments later, Matt is fucking himself with passion, mimicking my horny thoughts.
"Moan for me, Matt!" I say, thrusting into him harder. He moans so loudly that I almost worry about the neighbors, but then I remember—my only homophobic neighbor is now nothing more than an alien-controlled puppet. There's nothing to worry about.
I sent a thought for him to release as soon as I came inside him. I couldn't ask for a better neighbor.
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Hi, first of all I would like to say that I love your stories, they are very good. I had a story idea with Nicholas, where the character is invited by Vogue to make a video about her morning routine. Everything was going well until Nicholas decided to participate in this video. I would like something really cute and fun
❛ 𝐕𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒 ❜ . . . nicholas chavez
SUMMARY, nicholas chavez’ girlfriend does her makeup tutorial on vogue but he accidentally interrupts.
A/N, i’m glad you enjoy my writing!! instead of doing morning routine; i did beauty secrets.
WARNINGS, none

As the camera starts rolling, Nicholas’s girlfriend smiles brightly, introducing herself to the viewers.
“Hey, everyone! I’m so excited to be doing my Vogue Beauty Secrets today. I’ll show you my go-to makeup routine, plus share a little about my upcoming projects,” she says, applying her foundation with practiced ease. “I love this part—it’s like the base for everything!”
She’s just reached her concealer when suddenly, Nicholas strolls into the shot, oblivious to the camera. Realizing what he’s done, he freezes and his eyes widen.
“Oh, sorry! Sorry!” he laughs, ready to step out, but she just shakes her head, laughing too.
She laughs, waving him over. “No, no! You’re here now; might as well join me!”
Nicholas grins, stepping in beside her. “Alright, guess I’m doing my Vogue Beauty Secrets debut!” He dramatically holds up an imaginary foundation brush and speaks in a mock-influencer voice. “So, what you want to do is dab, blend, and—”
She rolls her eyes, handing him a real brush.
He takes the brush, pretending to be very serious as he blends with exaggerated, delicate strokes. “See? It’s all in the wrist,” he says, swirling the brush with finesse.
She giggles, reaching for her moisturizer and eye cream. “Okay, since you’re here, I think it’s time we take care of your skin!”
Nicholas laughs, holding his hands up. “I’m the assistant! No one said anything about me getting a makeover!”
“Too late.” She dabs moisturizer onto his cheeks. “So, Nicholas here thinks he doesn’t need skincare. But, actually, hydration is key, especially after a long day filming.”
“Hydration is key,” he echoes, trying to keep a straight face as she smooths the moisturizer into his skin. “Next thing you know, I’ll be talking about serums and toners.”
“Exactly!” She grins, grabbing her toner and patting it onto his cheeks. “See? You’re practically a pro now.”
“And next up, let’s go in with a little blush for that… you know, healthy glow.” He reaches out as if he’s doing her blush, guiding her hand to the brush with exaggerated care.
“Oh, is that what it’s for?” she asks, smirking at his confident tone. “Yep. And you can trust me,” he grins, tapping her nose. “I’m totally a pro.”
Finally, she pulls out her lip gloss, about to apply it when Nicholas takes it from her. “I got this,” he insists. “You have to be very precise…”
Leaning in to apply it on her. Carefully, he sweeps the gloss across her lips, then steps back to admire his work. But instead of handing the gloss back, he leans in, planting a kiss on her freshly applied gloss, leaving a smudge.
She laughs, looking at her messy lips in the mirror. “You did my lips just to mess up!”
Nicholas chuckles, giving her a wink. “Can’t say i’m sorry!” With one last playful grin, he leaves the frame, and she shakes her head, laughing, as she reaches for her gloss again.
#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez#nicholas chavez smut#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas chavez imagine#nicholas chavez fic#nicholas chavez fluff#nicholas alexander chavez fic#nicholas alexander chavez x reader#nicholas alexander chavez imagine
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Crawling Back to You
Aaron Hotchner x BAU!Reader SMUT
Summary: Hotch shows up at your place late one night needing company.
CW: newly divorced!Hotch, needy!Hotch, nipple play, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie,
a/n: imma be real with yall, I don’t think I’ll ever write a Hotch fanfic where the reader isn’t a part of the BAU lol also this is pretty much straight sex
*This is the fanfic the won the poll so it’s the one I finished first!*
~~~
It was nearly midnight.
So when a hasty knock pounded against your door, you were apprehensive. Finger resting flat against the side of your gun as you looked through your peephole. Unsuspecting a familiar face at this hour.
“Hotch?”
Aaron Hotchner. Your supervisor and Unit Chief. Bags under his eyes heavy with lines mapping his face. Lips pierced tightly into his mouth as his doey brown eyes looked at you. A small bit of stubble decorated his jaw. You examined his body making sure he did not have anything physically wrong with him. Noting his lack of work attire. T-Shirt with a zip-up over it along with some jogger pants and tennis shoes. Far more casual than you ever saw him.
“May I come inside?”
You stepped back into your home, allowing him to pass by you. Scent of his cologne overwhelmed your senses. Musky, with some sweeter hints underneath. Closing and locking the door behind you. Placing your gun back into its holster and hiding it in its usual spot.
“Is everything okay?”
Your hand rubbed your neck as you watched him look around your place. It was dark and silent. You made it a routine to read before bed. Curled up under your soft, yellow lamp on your couch. Just getting to the end of the latest chapter when you had been taken aback by the noise at your door.
Hotch’s silence worried you. Brow resting heavy upon his head as his fists clinched at his sides. Fearing he had some extremely troubling news to share with you. His disheveled hair and lack of formality clued you in that he had come over after something happened.
“Hotch…?”
You trailed off as you closed the distance between you. Hand flattening against his back with your question. Turning to look at you over his shoulder. Orbs glossy and sad. Your expression dropped when you saw the tears staining the corner of his eyes. Never having seen your boss like this. It tugged at your heart.
“Oh, Aaron…”
“Can I… stay here tonight? I can’t be alone in that house another night,” Hotch’s voice was soft and broken. Fighting off showing his emotions to you. Expression as if he had just seen someone kick his puppy. Urge inside you wanting to caress his face and pull him into a hug.
Divorce was hard. Even for someone as cold and stoic as Aaron Hotchner. It was far worse when a child was involved. Throwing his mundane life through the wringer. Ripping away the semblance of normality he had.
“Of course,” your fingers trickled down his arm, “Can I get you anything?” Offering as he slumped into your couch.
“Just some water,” his shaky voice had your stomach doing flips. Hurrying into the kitchen to hide your flushed expression. Pouring him a small cup and sitting it on the table in front of him. His neck strained backward as he rested his head. Admiring how the soft glow of your living room highlighted his jawline.
The two of you sat in complete silence. You fidgeting with your own hands. Pinching and rolling your fingers. Watching Hotch’s broad chest rise and fall with each deep breath he took. His nostrils flaring with slight irritation. Clearly defeated and tired. Unable to properly rest on his own.
Sighing heavily as he sat up. Leaning forward to grab the water. Drinking nearly half the glass in one go. It was strange seeing him here. On your couch in some ordinary clothes. Feeling like ordinary people momentarily. Hotch’s face fell into his hands. Rubbing along his worry lines.
“Hotch—“
“Y/N, I—“
You spoke at the same time. Awkwardly smiling as you cut each other off. Soft, unsure chuckles vibrating off your walls. Your hand planting itself against Hotch’s arm as you leaned forward, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Hotch’s sorry eyes blinked towards you. Eyebrows curved and mouth frowned. Same glassy stare from before returning. Nodding slowly, “I’ve been so lonely…” Your arms raised as Hotch laid his head in your lap. Unsure where to place your hands. Blushing at the intimacy your boss was seeking in you. Unable to deny the feelings swimming around your chest for him.
Resting one hand on his head and the other softly lying against his arm. Fingers petting his hair, stiff locks slowly softening. His hand came up and interlocked fingers with yours against his arm. Pulling your hand closer to his face. Cheek resting against it, a soft peck of his lips gifting itself there.
Your heartbeat rang in your ears. Trying your hardest to steady your breathing. To stop the shaking of your hands. Warmth engulfing you from where each part of him touched you.
Intimacy was not something anyone in the BAU ever got from Hotch. An occasional hug after something may have endangered someone. His tended to be spoken. Not physical. So this was a strange new feeling.
Not helping with the under-the-table feelings you had been harboring for Hotch for so long.
“Y/N…”
There was a whine on his tone that made your head spin. Your fingers tightened in his hair instinctively. Gripping on to something to support the pulse that radiated in your lower half. His brows knitted together at the feeling, his mouth hanging open slightly.
“Yeah?”
You swallowed the lump in your throat. Loosening your grip. Going back to gently petting him. Trying to calm yourself down.
Hotch turned, reaching his arm up to cup your face. Thumb tracing against your cheek. Dark pupils looked into yours. Admiring your face. Pushing himself up to meet your lips. Capturing you in a deep kiss.
Surprising you.
“A-Aaron…”
You stumbled. Not wanting him to do anything he would regret. Eyes scanning his for some semblance of— Regret? Fear? Hesitation? Something?
“Please…”
Aaron’s sultry voice and the feeling of his large hand against your face had you melting into him. His wanting tone begging you. Puppy dog eyes looking into you. Lips finding yours again. Pulling your lower lip between his. Tongue wanting to explore your mouth. Allowing him to pin you mostly against the couch with his torso. Thick fingers tangled in your hair. Holding you close to him as he latched onto you.
Pulling away for only a moment. Looking into each other’s eyes. Seeing nothing but desperate desire in his.
“You look so beautiful in this light,” Hotch gently pushed your hair behind your ear. Watching your face redden and lashes fluttered at his compliment. His lips planted on your neck, hand gripping the back of your head. Sucking and licking softly against your skin. Trailing along your pulse. No doubt, leaving soft purple marks behind. Nothing that would not fade or be easily covered by makeup, of course. Just enough for you to feel how badly he wanted you.
“Aaron…” you began, wanting to tell him how you were not some cheap hookup to help him get over his wife. How you needed to be something more than that with him. Confessing all your pent up feelings for him. How heavily they had been lying on your shoulders. And that you wanted this, just more special.
But.
When Aaron looked up at you with his big, sad brown eyes every thought you had disappeared. Consumed by how pathetic and desperate he looked. Disheveled hair and shiny lips sending you into a feral state.
You mouthed attempting to find the words. Losing every semblance of a thought as you watched his eyes dart between your eyes and lips. Hand coming up to cup his face. Nuzzling into your grasp as he stared at you. Warmth from his cheeks heating up your palm.
“Are you just wanting an outlet?” the whisper escaped your mouth without thought.
“No… I just want you,” Aaron whispered back. A soft confession of his true feelings. Leaning in to kiss you once more. Tongue parting your lips to lap into your mouth. Deepening the kiss as he sat up further. Attempting to shift so that he was pulling you onto his own lap. Shuffling around each other until your legs straddled him.
Long, thick fingers rubbed up your exposed thighs. Resting against your hips. Doeing his eyes up at you. Hands resting on his shoulders as you sat upon him. Enjoying the weight of you on his body. His hands danced under your loose fitting shirt, feeling your soft plump skin. Running up to squeeze at your breasts. Softly pinching at your nipples through your bra. Hotch sighed, hint of a smile on his face.
Gentle hands splayed across his chest. Fingertips tracing the zipper until you were pulling it down. Helping him remove his jacket, throwing it onto the floor. Leaving him in only a tight, white shirt. Muscles accented by the short sleeves and dim lighting. Lips falling against his jugular. Featherlight kisses scattered across his skin. His own hands gripping onto your back tightly. Shortly finding the clasp of your bra and undoing it.
Coarse fingertips hooked around the hem of your shirt, pulling it and your bra off in succession. Hotch’s hands gripped your back. Awestruck by the look of you above him. Nipples hardening when the cold air washed over your body. Softly cupping his cheek as you leaned in to kiss him once more. A groan vibrating through his throat when your breasts pressed against him.
“I’ll do whatever you want, Hotch,” you spoke into his mouth.
Corner of his mouth curved into a grin. Eyebrows still pressed tightly together as if he was still unsure. Not completely convinced on why he came here. Just knowing his body craved yours tonight.
“Take me to your bedroom,” Hotch breathed out. Not demanding, simply asking. Pleading eyes locking into yours.
You rose off his lap. Standing before his disheveled state. Legs spread wide with a tent pitched between them. Heating up your face when his body followed yours like losing contact with you physically hurt him. Interlocking fingers to guide him down the hallway. Smiling over your shoulder at him.
Allowing him into the room first, closing and locking the door behind you. His body was quick to pin yours against the door. Knocking the air out of your lungs momentarily. Strong hands squeezed at your softness. Pulling a moan from you when his rough fingertips pinched at your nipples. Leaning down to capture the bulb between his lips. Muttering curses and his name under your breath.
“Please, Y/N… I-I need you,” Hotch mumbled against your flesh. Hands trailed the waistband on your shorts.
“How do you need me?” You kissed his jawline.
“On top, please…” he trailed off. Moaning when your hand flattened against his erection. Fingers gripped around him, gently stroking his shaft. Hotch became a whimpering mess in your hand. Eyes squinted shut and mouth hanging open. You led him back against your bed step-by-step. Back of his knees buckling when they met the mattress. Resting up on his elbows to continue looking at you.
Thumbs tugged at your waist, pulling down your shorts and panties. Causing Hotch’s breath to tighten in his throat. Seeing you in your full nudity leading to his clothes feeling obscenely tight. Practically ripping his shirt from his chest.
Kneeling down before him. Hotch’s bare chest heaved. Melting expression stirring around your stomach, finding itself nestling between your legs. Manicured fingertips played at his waistband. Hotch craned his neck back, adoring the feeling of your hands on him. Steadily, shaking hands pulled his joggers down his legs. Revealing the outline of his erection in his boxer-briefs. Mouth watering sight before you.
"Oh, God, please," Hotch begged with a broken voice. Your lips kissed against his stomach directly above his underwear. Traveling down to be kissing the length of his shaft. Hatch's legs bounced with anticipation. Finally, you removed his underwear from his body. Cock bouncing free. Thick and swollen, with a drop of pre-cum decorating the head. Throwing his boxer-briefs somewhere on the floor as you straddled his waist. Passionate hands dug into your waist. Completely slack jawed as he took in every inch of you.
"Y-You... you're incredible," Hotch breathed out, eyes finding their place in yours again. Shining in the moonlight that beamed in through your barely opened curtain. Your cheeks burned at his compliment. Unable to deny the full faced smile that overtook you. Blushing at his soft expression.
You hovered directly over his cock. Nose to nose with your boss. Kissing him again before resting your hips against his. Cock gliding through your slick folds as you capture it between your bodies. Hotch moaned at the feeling of your warmth, "Oh, Y/N."
You grinded down on him, lathering his member with your arousal. Shaky gasps escaped him with each move of your hips. "Please, please," Hotch stammered with squinted eyes, "I need to be inside you, now."
Hand lined him up with your entrance. Sinking down slowly as to adjust to his girth. Your face contorted in pleasure at the feeling of him stretching you. Calling out his name when you were flush against his body. Large, brown eyes stared up at you. Face flushed and agape as he watched you rise and fall onto his cock again. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you found a perfect rhythm. Chanting his name over and over again as you rode him.
Hotch's hands grasped under your thighs, helping you get higher off him. Sloppy sounds filled your silent bedroom. Mixed in with the grunts and moans that escaped you and Hotch. Sound of slapping skin rang in your ears.
"Perfect," Hotch sighed breathlessly, finally relaxing his neck and head onto the mattress. Your nails dug into his chest, arching your hips to allow him deeper inside you. Panting as you hopped up and down. Lost with how perfectly his cock hit every spot inside you. Running your hand down the front of yourself, fingers finding your sensitive clit. Circling it.
"Aaron," you whined when he hit that spongy spot deep inside that had electricity shooting through your nerves.
"I love when you say my name," Hotch grunted. Your insides constricted with his deep, sultry voice. Causing him to rut his hips upward, chasing the feeling.
And you swear you had never had someone this good. As if his cock had been made perfectly for you. Almost like Hotch already knew your body. Knew how to make it feel good and how to get you there. He had you seeing stars.
"Can I cum inside you?"
His shaken voice pleaded. Feeling himself twitch and grow more sensitive knowing his end was approaching. Not wanting to lose the sensation of you wrapped around him.
"Please, Y/N."
You nodded viciously. Feeling your own orgasm preparing to wash over you as the familiar tightening in your stomach returned. Bottoms of your feet tingled with heat as you moaned above him. Looking down to see his puppy dog eyes doeing up at you. As if he had never seen anything as beautiful as you in his life. Admiring every single piece of you. Never wanting to leave you.
A few more swirls of your fingers had your insides clamping around Hotch. You fell forward, holding onto him for support as you shook. Moaning into his ear, his name a mantra from your tongue. He held you tight against him, bottoming out inside you as you finished around him. "So good," he praised into your ears.
Hotch continued the movements you had been doing. Thrusting his hips up into you, clearly chasing his own high now. Forcing a squeaky whine with each snap of his hips. Strong fingers dug into your back as kept you flush to his chest. Angled hips causing your sensitive cunt to spasm. Few more before he was shooting up into you. Filling you to the hilt with his seed, keeping his hips firmly pressed into yours. Trembling as he finished.
Lying in silence other than both of your panting. Refusing to move from the position you were in. Cock halfway softening inside you. Your nose was tucked into the crook of his neck. His hands gently rubbed up your back. Enjoying the feeling of your bodies still tangled together. Hearts beating in sync. Minds consumed by thoughts of the other. The world fading around you.
Hotch planted a kiss on the side of your head. Causing you to lean up and look at him. Being greeted with a smile that caused you to blush. Somehow still making you feel flustered even after fucking you. As if you were not lying completely nude against him. Nestling your face back into his neck to hide your heated cheeks. Hotch chuckled at your embarrassment.
"Thank you," Hotch broke the silence.
"You don't have to thank me," you smiled against his skin.
Hotch hummed in response.
You remained like this for several minutes. Drifting off, the late hours catching up with you.
"Let's get under the blanket," you shivered with the chill of the room hitting your warm skin.
"Don't wanna move," Hotch's sleepy tone made your stomach do a flip.
"Come on," you pushed yourself up. Causing his member to slip out of you. The two of you wincing at the sensation. Hotch groaned at the lost of your body heat. Reaching up for you as you crawled up to the pillows. Finally rolling to meet you under the blanket. Nestling under the bedding together.
Hotch wrapped his arms around you. Getting as close to you as possible. Engulfing you in his warmth. You wrapped your own arms around him. Limbs tangling together as you found a comfortable position together.
You felt yourself falling asleep in his comfort. Hoping that in the morning this would all be a happy memory you shared. Begging for him to still want you by daybreak.
~~~
[END]
// Thank you so much for reading! You all have been nothing less than wonderful ever since I started writing for Hotch. I really love seeing all the comments and reposts, you guys mean the world to me! As always, my inbox is always open and if you want to be tagged in the future let me know! //
{tags}
@mrs-ssa-hotch ~ @bondwithme-murderstyle ~ @cherriready ~ @khxna ~ @megangovier ~ @justyourusualash ~ @boybandbaby ~ @hoffmanfan13 ~
#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotch x reader#thomas gibson#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#writing#fanfic#sexymonsterfics#thomas gibson x reader
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Hiiiiii!!!!!!! I recently got back into criminal minds and devoured all ur hotch fics like a MANIAC (you write. So unbelievably well. Im also in love w ur tasm peter stuff, you are just such a good writer thru and thru) and that one request where Jack calls reader mom for the first time really stuck w me so I was wondering if maybe I could request smth of the opposite? Like not-so-single mom!reader and hotch have been dating for a while and her lil girl calls him dad for the first time :3 🖤🖤
thank you for requesting! 💌 —your daughter calls Hotch dad for the first time. fem, 2k
“Come in, come in!” Hotch says, the door held ajar by his arm, forcing you to squeeze in and save the heat. “Quickly, honey, please, get out of the rain.”
Sarah bursts in through the door and away from the rain, her vinyl coat covered in raindrops, her boots wet with mud. “Aaron!” she says, pulling it into something softened and excited at once, though her ‘r’s are weak, closer to ‘w’s. “I missed you.” She jumps from one foot to the other.
He makes sure you’re safely inside before he abandons you. It’s not very kind to you, but he can’t help himself. “Sarah,” he says, without your daughter’s sweetness but heavily fond, “I missed you more, honey. How many days has it been?”
“Four!” she says, holding up four fingers as Hotch grabs her by the waist.
He doesn’t mind her wet coat, working an arm around and beneath her to shuck off her muddy shoes. They topple to the ground to unveil damp socks.
“Oh, no, your socks are wet. I did all the laundry while we were waiting, I have some warm ones for you in the dryer. Should we get you out of this coat?”
“Where’s Jack?” you ask.
“Eating. He was starving, couldn’t wait.”
You kick your shoes off and gather them with Sarah’s to line up by the door. Hotch takes off Sarah’s coat with some one-armed manoeuvring, aware of her smiley gaze following his every move.
“I,” you say, pressing a swift kiss to his cheek, cold lips to his rough skin, “am gonna go to the toilet really quickly. Hi, handsome.”
He savours your kiss and watches you go. He owes you a better greeting, he missed you just as much as he missed your girl. For now, he wipes the cold from Sarah’s cheeks and stations her comfortably on his navel.
He loves her like his own. He’s privileged to get the opportunity, and it’s hard not to feel that low level of awe whenever she’s around, because she loves him the same way. Sarah waits for him to smile before she wraps her arms around his neck, long enough to twine her fingers in the short hair she finds there.
It’s funny to love someone you had no hand in bringing into the world, but no less real. He’d do anything for Sarah. I miss you doesn’t cover it, but it’s a start. “I missed you,” he murmurs, not well-versed in baby talk but always willing to try for his kids. “It’s so nice to see you. Jack missed you too, should we go see him? I can change your socks.”
He ushers her back enough to see her. She has such loving eyes, not shy at all as she nods her head. “Can you make crackers?”
He beams. “Oooh, yes. Crackers and cheese and apple slices, I know what you want, honey. It’s ready for you in the kitchen.”
Things weren’t easy at first for either you nor Hotch. He works too much, and you both have priorities that can’t be shifted, but the connection between you was easy. Love, undoubtedly, pretty much the moment you met, even if it scared him. He never thought he’d get a second chance and he’s not sure you thought you’d find yours either, and yet loving you has been as helpless as loving your daughter. He doesn’t have a choice and he doesn’t want one.
In this time, you’ve found routine. He’s introduced the idea of moving in together and you’re excited for it, though concrete plans haven’t been laid. There’s a lot of questions and no need to rush into answering them yet. He has no intentions of letting you go now —Hotch will do anything it takes to keep his small family.
Today, right now, that’s crackers.
“Sarah!” Jack says when he sees them, jumping off of his chair to climb on top of it. He holds his hands out and Hotch leans down with a loving laugh to let his son hug her. “You’re back!”
“I’m back,” she agrees.
“Do you want some of my sandwiches? Daddy made me two.”
“Yes!” she says, wiggling to be put down and given what he’s promising.
Hotch fights to take her to the sink and wash her little hands, to her horror and whining. He says, “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you gotta wash your hands before you eat.”
He puts her in her own chair, and it is Sarah’s chair, outfitted with a big pillow so she can see the table and marked by a pink star sticker, putting a placemat in front of her. Jack quickly pushes one of his sandwiches towards her. “There you go.”
“Thank you, Jackers,” she says.
Hotch smiles. Despite their different interests and ages, they’re quick to get along.
He shouldn’t pry while you’re in the bathroom, but he worries about you. “Honey?” he calls up the stairs.
“I’m just changing!”
“Yeah? Can you bring some socks for Sarah, please?”
You shout back something incomprehensible. He returns to the kitchen, where Sarah looks over the chair with pleading eyes and asks, “Crackers?” a piece of lettuce stuck to her chin.
“Ah,” he says showfully, turning to the fridge to grab the plate of crackers, sliced cheese, and apples he’d Saran wrapped an hour ago. He peels off the wrapping and places it in front of her. “Here, sweetheart. Do you want anything else? Maybe some chips?”
She laughs and grabs a piece of apple without answering him.
“What about you, sweetheart? Drink?” he asks Jack.
“Yes please, daddy.”
Hotch makes Jack a cup of orange juice and Sarah a sippy cup, hers diluted some with water. He places them down in front of the kids, crouching between their chairs, intending to stay and chat. “How’s that?” he asks, tilting his head to the side to listen for your light footsteps on the stairs.
“Thanks, daddy,” Jack says.
“Thank you, daddy,” Sarah echoes, reaching for him. Hotch offers his hand, startled, not quick enough to hide it. She doesn’t pay any mind to his expression, pleased to have her hand held and her big plastic plate of crackers to munch on.
“Why’d you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” you ask, passing him Sarah’s socks, and rounding the table to stand by Jack's other side. “Hi,” you add, ruffling Jack’s hair, “look at you, gorgeous, you got your hair cut.”
Hotch rubs Sarah’s knuckles, trying to phrase it, not sure how to tell you with the kids still there. Will Sarah feel embarrassed if he brings it up so swiftly? Will she feel like she’s done something wrong? Will you?
“What’s wrong?” you ask.
He decides to present you with the situation. He’s not manipulative, but clever. “Mommy got your socks, too. Can we take these cold ones off, is that okay?”
“Yes, please,” Sarah says.
You watch in confusion. Hotch gives you a quick look. Trust me for a second.
He eases the socks off of her feet, laughs when she laughs at his tickling, even if he’s not quite sure how to feel. Happy, he gives her toes a squeeze and bunches a sock up to pull it over her heel and up to her ankle. “One,” he says, repeating the process with the same tenderness. “Two. There we go, all warm again, Sarah.”
“Thanks, daddy.”
You breathe in.
Sarah puts some cheese on a cracker and offers it to Hotch, who eats it while you summon him away with silent parent talk. He kisses her forehead and wipes it clean as he goes.
“Did she do that when I was upstairs?” you ask quietly.
Hotch knows you. Loves you, but knows you intrinsically. He knows just by looking at you that you’re happy, but you’re worried about something, and it’s not hard to guess what it is: he might not want Sarah to call him daddy, and telling her not to might break her heart, and yours too.
“She did.”
“She’s never… expressed that interest to me.”
“Sometimes they think about things more than we know.” Jack still surprises him as he did when he was a toddler.
“She just loves you,” you say.
“I love her. She can call me whatever she wants to.”
You hold his wrist, taking a step closer to him. “Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.” He murmurs now you’re close, ducking his head to yours, two halves of the same heart looking at one another’s hands. “I love her more than anything in the world. I want to make her crackers for the rest of my life.” Hotch puts his index finger to the soft skin under your chin. “Maybe by tomorrow she’ll forget she called me daddy and she’ll never say it again, but… I want her to. Is that okay?” he asks.
You lean up to kiss him and you nod into his lips, which makes it hard but not impossible to kiss back. “She loves you so much,” you say quietly. You’d only wanted a quick peck.
He might’ve said he loves her more than anything, but there’s a level on which he holds her and Jack where you sit too. He loves you. You made Sarah who she is all by yourself, and you’re so lovable standing in his reach. You’re perfect.
Maybe he’s feeling sweet because Sarah called him daddy.
“I think Jack confused her,” he says.
“Maybe. You are, you know, her dad. You do everything a dad would.”
Hotch slots his leg between yours and leans back to force you into his favourite kind of hug. You laugh slowly, hug the same, your arms sliding up over his shoulders to wrap behind his head, your hand cupping his hair.
He closes his eyes and feels your waist.
“You don’t have to worry,” he says.
“I don’t worry about you and Sarah, I know you love her. I guess I just worry about us. Not that you don’t love me, Aaron.”
“Big changes,” he guesses in a whisper.
“Big changes.”
He encourages you away to hold your face. He hopes that waiting with you in quiet for a while can explain it better than words.
Your shoulders finally relax.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble#criminal minds
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hi! i saw you were taking requests for post prison spencer, so hey
i was thinking about spencer meeting a kinda sunshine reader, and it’s like…love at first sight. she’s literally the one to make him smile for good
feel free to add your magic to it, and to ignore it, don’t feel pressure at all!
have a good day/night <3
babe you guys are saving my life with these requests right now! I'm feeling so good about everything I write again <3 enjoy sunshine!reader x post prison!spencer who looks less tense and serious around you
You’re at his desk, sitting there all perfect in your orange button up and flared pants, Mary Janes clicking on the linoleum tile as you tap your pen against your lips. Your hair is scraped back into a ponytail, the plait brushing the spot between your shoulder blades.
Spencer had asked about you to Penelope, asked about your personality, about how you work- all the important things. What he didn’t ask was if you were gorgeous and Penelope, who loves to divulge, had never said a thing about your looks.
“Hi, you’re Y/n right?” Spencer’s standing before you, not realising how intimidating he must look till you jolt in your chair.
You’d been trying to get your morning crossword and read in before the day had officially begun, a habit you’d been trying to keep up with since you started the job. So far it’s been going- the crosswords are boring so you have to pretend to be distracted by it to let it last a bit more than four minutes.
“Oh sorry, I am. You’re Doctor Spencer Reid,” you lean back in your chair, not bothering to hold out a hand to you. Penelope had grilled you on his aversion to germs and touching people more than needed. “I’m sorry about taking over your desk, but they didn’t have any free ones.”
Spencer shakes his head, you take a moment to look him over. His hair is a bit looser than you’d imagined, Penelope said curly hair and you’d thought tight spirals- he has pretty loose ringlets, dark and mocha-like.
He smells like leather and something else, maybe plum and black currant- it’s a bit of an all encompassing smell that you like already. He’s much prettier too, he looks tired, but still pretty. His stubble presents a problem, you know it’s going to be your downfall.
“It’s alright, we keep a tight ship. Have they been treating you well?”
You tilt your head, “The team or the unsubs? Because it’s been too many cases to have real team building.” You grin when Spencer huffs, making his lips twitch. “But I think getting concussed while saving Newbie’s ass counts for something.”
Luke grumbles as he walks by with his coffee, “You were hired after I was,” patting Spencer on the back when the taller, lithe, man rolls a chair to sit opposite you.
“Do you still experience headaches or migraines?” Spencer kicks himself when he sees your tongue poke into your cheek- you’re trying hard not to smile at his question. He also thinks he’s doing a shoddy job of flirting but that can be fixed- he’s been in prison for the last three months, he just needs to get back in the swing of things.
“I’m pretty sure your first official day back starts with you in Emily’s office and not giving me an impromptu physical, Dr. Reid.” His lips twitch again, cheeks jumping as he shakes his head.
“It’s just a check-up, no physical yet.” he stands, not really giving himself time to overthink what he’s just said. It’s more than a little presumptuous on his part but you don’t call him an asshole or swear at him, so he thinks he’s okay with it.
“Do you want your desk back, Spencer?” you’re earnest in asking, not wanting to fuck up his routines and his norm. You can tell you like him already and it’s hardly been a fifteen minute conversation.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll take the one right there.” Spencer points a finger to the desk right in behind yours with a little less severity to his lips, his stubble looking even more attractive as he does so.
You watch him walk away, willing yourself to be professional about all this, he may be hot but he’s your coworker and you know all about close proximity relationships possibly being shams. You’re not here for that, so Spencer will be a good friend.
You make your way into the kitchen, steps light as you reach for your mug- a cute blue mug with an orca as the handle.
“So you come in and the kid’s already obsessed with you?” Rossi’s right beside you, making you jump as you put more than the recommended amount of tablespoons of coffee into your mug.
“It’s not like that, you all made him out to be this awkward shy mess and he isn’t.” You try to sound as casual as you can, but you profile your own voice and know how it sounds to everyone- wistful.
“Maybe he’s seen a pretty girl and the ‘awkward shy mess’ melted away,” Rossi places his hands on your shoulders. “He’s a good kid. You can trust in that.”
You roll your eyes, stirring your coffee. “I’m pretty sure he’s in his thirties, Rossi.” You take the milk from him, pouring it in till your coffee is just at the lip of your mug and smile. “Definitely too old.”
Rossi waves his hand, “I’ve been married four times, old isn’t a marker for romance anymore. Not when you’re only twenty four.” He leaves you be for a moment, and on your walk back to your desk to fill out the remaining crosswords you mull over his words.
As you sit, you look down and find it all filled out in black ink, opposed to your blue and you know who did it, if the messy scrawled message is anything to go by- ‘You should get The Washington Post puzzles, much more stimulating.’
#spencerreid#spencer reid#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x black reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x yn#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid imagine#dr spencer reid#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic#spencer reid x sunshine!reader
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Sugar, Spice, and Everything Extra
PAIRING(s): SugarMommy!Agatha, Rio, Lilia, Jennifer, and Alice x SugarBaby!Reader
SUMMARY: Str*pper Reader meets 5 interesting older women who wants to own her.
WARNING(s): I'm not sure, lol.
A/N: I saw some beautiful soul who requested for someone to write this fic idea. I thought to give it a try even though I suck at writing, lol.
@lanfear-is-my-darkmistress 💜
You adjust the strap of your heels, the mirror reflecting the dim glow of neon lights in the dressing room. Another night at The Velvet Petal, another round of dollar bills and fleeting gazes. Stripping isn’t glamorous, but it pays the bills and keeps you in school. Plus, your roommate Wanda, the epitome of balance and chaos, has your back when things get rough.
The music thunders outside as your turn approaches. You don your stage persona: confidence wrapped in sequins and heels. But tonight feels different, charged. As you step out onto the stage, the crowd cheers, but it’s not the usual drunken revelry that catches your eye.
It’s them.
Five women, all seated in the corner booth like a scene out of a magazine spread, radiating power and wealth. Agatha, with her streak of silver hair and piercing eyes, exudes control, her tailored suit sharp enough to cut. Rio, effortlessly chic in a leather jacket, lounges like the queen of the world. Alice, the soft-spoken tech mogul, hides behind her glasses, but her smirk says she’s just as confident as the others. Jennifer, a successful actress, looks stunning and polished, her laughter like music itself. And then there’s Lilia, elegant and warm, her gaze lingering on you with unspoken approval.
As you move through your routine, their eyes never leave you. It’s unnerving at first, but then... intoxicating. They’re not here for the cheap thrills—they’re here for you.
After your set, you retreat backstage, heart pounding. Moments later, one of the staff calls you over. “The ladies in the corner booth asked to see you.”
Curiosity gets the better of you, and soon you’re standing in front of them, feeling like a deer in headlights.
“Sit,” Agatha says smoothly, gesturing to the empty seat in their midst. Her voice is commanding, yet inviting, like she’s used to getting exactly what she wants.
You sit, your hands clasped in your lap as their gazes sweep over you. It’s not uncomfortable—not entirely. There’s something magnetic about them, the way they move and speak as though they already own the room.
“You’re quite the performer,” Jennifer says, her red lips curling into a smile. “What’s your name?”
You hesitate, giving them your stage name. They exchange amused glances, clearly unconvinced.
“Your real name,” Rio insists, leaning closer.
You tell them, your voice barely above a whisper, and Lilia beams. “Beautiful. Just like you.”
“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” Alice asks, her tone gentle but probing.
“Paying for school,” you admit. “It’s... complicated.”
Agatha smirks. “Not for us. What if we made it simple?”
Your brows furrow. “What do you mean?”
“We mean,” Rio says, sliding a black card across the table, “that we want to take care of you.”
Jennifer’s hand brushes yours as she speaks. “No strings, unless you want them.” Her words carry a playful edge.
“You’ll have everything you need,” Lilia adds, her tone warm. “Money, support, and... companionship.”
Alice adjusts her glasses, her voice soft but confident. “We’re already close. This would just make you... part of the family.”
You blink, trying to process their words. They’re not joking—this is real. Five successful, gorgeous women offering to be your sugar mommas? It’s too good to be true.
“Why me?” you ask, voice trembling.
“Because you’re special,” Agatha says firmly. “And we know how to recognize something—or someone—worth investing in.”
You feel your face heat as they all watch you, their expressions a mix of affection, desire, and genuine interest. For the first time, you’re not sure if you’re the one holding the power—or if they’ve already stolen it from you.
“Think about it,” Rio says, her hand brushing your thigh as she leans back with a smirk.
“Oh, and here,” Lilia adds, slipping a velvet pouch into your hand. “A little something to help you decide.”
When you open it later, back at home, you find a diamond necklace and a check with a number that makes your head spin.
Wanda raises an eyebrow when you tell her. “Five sugar mommas? Girl, you’re either the luckiest person alive or the plot of a Lifetime movie waiting to happen.”
You laugh, but your mind is already racing. What would it mean to let them in? To be theirs?
The thought thrills you—and terrifies you in equal measure.
You barely sleep that night, the velvet pouch and its contents sitting on your bedside table, shimmering under the faint glow of your desk lamp. Wanda’s light snoring from the other side of the apartment is a strange comfort as your mind swirls with questions.
The next evening, as you walk into The Velvet Petal, you’re surprised to find the same booth occupied. The five women are waiting for you, their presence commanding the room just as much as the night before. Agatha’s sharp gaze meets yours immediately, and a subtle smirk tugs at the corner of her lips.
You’re halfway through your set when you notice it—their eyes are on you, but tonight there’s something heavier in their stares. Possessive. Hungry. The way Agatha’s fingers drum on the table, the way Jennifer bites her lower lip as you lean into your routine, sends shivers down your spine.
You finish your set, and as you step offstage, you know you can’t avoid them. A staff member hands you a note:
VIP Room 3. Don’t keep us waiting.
Your breath hitches, but curiosity wins out over caution. You make your way to the back, heart pounding with each step.
When you enter the room, they’re already seated, their positions casual but exuding authority. The space feels smaller with them in it, the air thick with their energy.
“You came,” Rio says, lounging against the sofa like she owns it. “Good girl.”
The words ignite something in you, a mix of defiance and intrigue. “What do you want from me?” you ask, keeping your voice steady, though your pulse betrays you.
Agatha leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “We already told you. We want you.”
“And we don’t like waiting,” Jennifer adds, her tone playful yet edged with warning.
Lilia pats the seat next to her. “Come, sit. Let’s talk.”
You hesitate, but her warm smile and soft-spoken nature make it harder to resist. You take the seat, the proximity making you hyperaware of her perfume—floral, expensive, intoxicating.
“You deserve to be spoiled,” Alice says, her voice calm and steady. “You’ve worked hard enough. Let us take care of the rest.”
“We’re not asking you to give up your independence,” Rio says, though her eyes glint with something darker. “But you’ll find life’s a lot easier when you have five women devoted to your happiness.”
Jennifer leans in, her fingers brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. “And we are devoted, sweetheart.”
You swallow hard, trying to keep your composure. “I don’t even know you.”
Agatha chuckles, the sound low and dangerous. “You’ll get to know us. Intimately.”
Her words hang in the air, heavy with implication. You can feel the heat creeping up your neck as Lilia’s hand gently rests on your knee. Her touch is light, almost comforting, but it sends a spark through you.
“You don’t have to decide right now,” Lilia murmurs, her thumb brushing slow circles against your leg. “But we want you to feel... wanted.”
Rio smirks, her gaze dropping to your lips. “And we’re very good at making people feel wanted.”
Before you can respond, Jennifer stands, stepping behind you. Her hands rest lightly on your shoulders, her fingers tracing slow patterns against your skin. The intimacy of the gesture makes your breath hitch.
“You’re tense,” she whispers, her lips close to your ear. “You work so hard, don’t you? Let us take some of that weight off.”
Agatha’s eyes darken as she watches the scene unfold, a predator assessing its prey. “You deserve to be treated like the treasure you are.”
Lilia’s hand slides a little higher on your thigh, her movements gentle but deliberate. “Let us take care of you, darling.”
Your heart races as you look around the room, their eyes on you, their intentions crystal clear. It’s overwhelming, intoxicating, and more than a little dangerous.
“I... I need time to think,” you manage, your voice shaky but firm.
Agatha stands, her imposing presence filling the room as she moves closer. She reaches down, tilting your chin up to meet her gaze. “Of course, take your time,” she says, her voice low and commanding. “But don’t take too long. We’re not the patient type.”
With that, she steps back, and the five of them exchange knowing looks, as if they’ve already decided you’re theirs.
As you leave the room, your legs feel unsteady, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. You can still feel the ghost of their touches, the weight of their gazes.
Back in the dressing room, you glance at your reflection, your flushed cheeks and wide eyes betraying the storm inside you. You don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into—but part of you doesn’t want to escape.
Back in your apartment, Wanda is sprawled on the couch, scrolling through her phone. She barely glances up as you close the door, your heels clicking against the floor.
“Rough night?” she asks, her voice casual, though she finally looks at you, frowning slightly. “You look... flustered.”
You don’t answer right away, instead shrugging off your coat and tossing your bag onto the counter. Flustered doesn’t even begin to cover it. Your mind replays the evening on an endless loop: Agatha’s commanding tone, Lilia’s warm touch, Jennifer’s whispered promises, the way they all seemed to orbit you like you were the center of their universe.
“Not rough,” you say finally, though your voice betrays you. “Just... weird.”
Wanda narrows her eyes. “Weird how? Did someone cross a line? Do I need to come down there and handle something?”
You shake your head, though the thought of her trying to “handle” Agatha makes you snort despite yourself. “No, nothing like that. It’s just... this group of women. They were... different.”
“Different how?” Wanda asks, now sitting up, her curiosity piqued.
You hesitate, unsure how to explain. “They’re... rich. Like, stupid rich. And they... I don’t know. They want to... help me?”
Wanda’s eyebrows shoot up. “Help you how? Like charity? Or...” Her expression shifts to one of amusement. “...like sugar momma help?���
You stay silent, and that’s all the confirmation she needs. Wanda bursts out laughing, clutching a pillow as she leans back.
“Oh my God,” she says between giggles. “You’ve got five sugar mommas fighting over you? That’s the plot of a rom-com, babe. Or, like, a very specific fanfiction.”
“It’s not funny,” you mumble, though your cheeks burn. “They’re serious, Wanda. They said they want to take care of me.”
Wanda calms down, though her grin remains. “And what did you say?”
“I said I needed time to think.”
She tilts her head, studying you. “And what do you want?”
You sigh, collapsing onto the chair. “I don’t know. It’s... overwhelming. They’re all so... intense.”
“Intense hot?” Wanda asks, wiggling her eyebrows.
You roll your eyes, but you can’t deny it. They are hot, each in their own way. Agatha’s commanding presence, Rio’s rebellious charm, Alice’s quiet intellect, Jennifer’s movie-star allure, and Lilia’s nurturing warmth—they’re all dangerously appealing.
“They’re hot, okay? But that’s not the point,” you admit, rubbing your temples.
“The point,” Wanda says, leaning forward, “is that they’re rich, gorgeous, and want to spoil you. What’s the downside here?”
You don’t answer, because you’re not sure there is one—at least, not yet. But something about the way they looked at you tonight, like they were already claiming you as their own, makes your stomach twist in a mix of anticipation and unease.
The next morning, you find a package waiting outside your door. It’s wrapped in elegant black paper, tied with a silk ribbon. Wanda, curious as ever, peeks over your shoulder as you open it.
Inside, you find a designer handbag that probably costs more than your rent, a card tucked neatly inside. The handwriting is elegant and precise.
“You deserve the best. Let us show you. - A, R, Al, J, L”
Wanda whistles low. “Girl, they’re not playing.”
You run your fingers over the smooth leather, your heart pounding. The gift is beautiful, thoughtful even—but it’s also a reminder of the power they hold. They could change your life, make everything easier. But at what cost?
That evening, you find yourself back at The Velvet Petal, though you’re distracted the entire night. When your shift ends, one of the staff hands you a note.
“Meet us upstairs. Same room. We won’t ask again.”
You hesitate, the weight of their words heavy in your hands. You don’t know why you go, why you climb the stairs and open the door to find them all waiting, just as they were before.
This time, they don’t give you a chance to second-guess.
“We’re done waiting,” Agatha says, standing as you enter. Her presence fills the room, her sharp suit impeccable as ever.
“We know you’re hesitant,” Lilia adds gently, rising to meet you. She takes your hands in hers, her touch warm and reassuring. “But we also know what you need, even if you don’t yet.”
Jennifer steps behind you, her hands settling on your shoulders again. “You’re too special to let go, sweetheart.”
Rio smirks, lounging on the sofa. “And let’s be honest—you want this as much as we do.”
Alice steps forward, her eyes meeting yours with quiet intensity. “Say yes, and we’ll give you the world.”
The air is thick, their words wrapping around you like a velvet cage. Your heart races as their gazes lock onto yours, each one waiting for your answer.
You take a shaky breath, your voice barely above a whisper. “What happens if I say yes?”
Agatha’s smile is slow, deliberate. “Then you’re ours.”
Agatha’s words linger in the air, heavy and inescapable. The way she looks at you feels like she’s already decided your answer. The others exchange glances, their expressions a mix of hunger and satisfaction, as though your hesitation has only added fuel to their fire.
“I...” you start, but the words catch in your throat.
Jennifer’s hands slide down your arms, her touch gentle but firm. “Shh, don’t overthink it,” she murmurs. Her lips are close to your ear, her breath warm against your skin. “Just let us take care of you.”
Your heart races as Lilia steps closer, her fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. “You’ve worked so hard, darling,” she says, her voice low and soothing. “You deserve to rest. To feel wanted.”
The way she says it sends a shiver down your spine. Her hand moves to cup your cheek, her thumb brushing over your skin with a tenderness that leaves you breathless.
Before you can respond, Rio rises from the sofa, her movements slow and deliberate. “You’re overthinking,” she says, her smirk sharp as she closes the distance between you. “You want this. I can see it.”
Her fingers trail down your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Let yourself enjoy it for once.”
Alice is the last to move, her presence quieter but no less intense. She steps closer, her eyes locked on yours as she speaks. “We’re not asking for anything you don’t want to give,” she says softly, her tone disarming. “But if you say yes, we’ll make sure you never have to worry again.”
Agatha’s voice cuts through the haze, commanding and steady. “Say it,” she urges. Her hand reaches out, tilting your chin up so you’re forced to meet her gaze. Her touch is firm but not harsh, her thumb brushing over your jaw. “Say yes.”
The weight of their attention is almost too much to bear, your body reacting in ways you can’t control. Your mind is screaming at you to think, to process, but your heart is louder, pounding in your chest as their words sink in.
“I...” you begin, your voice trembling.
Jennifer’s lips brush your ear, her voice a sultry whisper. “Yes, baby. That’s all you have to say.”
And before you know it, the word falls from your lips. “Yes.”
The shift in the room is immediate. Agatha’s smile is predatory, Rio’s grin smug. Lilia’s eyes light up with warmth, and Jennifer presses a soft kiss to your shoulder, her touch lingering. Alice nods, her lips curving into a small, satisfied smile.
“Good girl,” Agatha murmurs, her hand still cradling your face. “You’ve made the right choice.”
Rio steps behind you, her hands brushing your waist as she leans in close. “Now, let us show you how much we appreciate you.”
Jennifer’s fingers trace slow patterns against your arms as Lilia pulls you into a gentle embrace. Her perfume surrounds you, a soft, floral scent that makes your head spin.
“You’re ours now,” Lilia whispers, her voice dripping with affection. “And we take care of what’s ours.”
The way she says it sends heat rushing through you, their touches and words weaving a web around you that you can’t escape—and, deep down, you realize you don’t want to.
The air in the room feels heavy, thick with anticipation. You’re caught in the pull of their presence—five women who’ve effortlessly taken control of the space and, now, you. Each of them steps closer, their combined energy overwhelming, intoxicating.
Agatha’s hand lingers at your chin, her sharp nails lightly grazing your skin as she tilts your face toward her. Her piercing eyes search yours, and a faint, satisfied smirk spreads across her lips. “You’re trembling,” she murmurs, her voice low and smooth. “Are you nervous? Or just excited?”
Before you can respond, Lilia presses against your side, her arm wrapping around your waist. The warmth of her body seeps into yours, and her fingers begin to trace soft circles along your hip. Her touch is gentle but firm, grounding yet possessive.
“Don’t worry, darling,” Lilia whispers, her lips close to your ear. “We’ll take care of you. Let us show you just how much you mean to us.”
Jennifer’s laugh is soft and teasing as she moves to your other side. Her hands slide over your shoulders, her touch featherlight but deliberate. “You’re ours now, sweetheart. There’s no need to hold back.”
Rio leans against the wall, her dark eyes fixed on you with a smoldering intensity. She doesn’t move, but the heat of her gaze is enough to make your knees weak. “We’ve been waiting for this,” she says, her tone dripping with satisfaction. “And now that we have you, we’re not letting you go.”
Alice is quieter, but her presence is no less commanding. She steps forward, her hands sliding into her pockets as she watches the others with a small, knowing smile. “Don’t let them overwhelm you too much,” she says softly, though the glint in her eyes betrays her own intent.
You feel surrounded, enveloped by their presence and their touch. The intensity of it all sends your pulse racing, your breaths coming shallow and uneven.
“You’re so beautiful,” Lilia murmurs, her fingers brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. Her gaze is warm and affectionate, but there’s a glimmer of something deeper—something darker—just beneath the surface.
Agatha’s thumb grazes over your lower lip, her smirk widening at the way your breath hitches. “We’ll make sure you never feel neglected again,” she says, her tone promising and possessive.
Jennifer leans in closer, her lips brushing the shell of your ear. “All you have to do is let us take the lead, baby. We’ll handle the rest.”
You’re caught in their web, their touches and words binding you tighter with every passing second. You don’t know where this will lead, but you’re certain of one thing: they won’t stop until you’re completely theirs.
_-_-_
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#agatha harkness x reader#lilia calderu x reader#rio vidal x reader#agatha all along#jennifer kale x reader#alice wu gulliver x reader#agatha harkness fanfic#agatha harkness#agathario#kathryn hahn#marvel#rio vidal#dark fanfiction#patti lupone
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Worst Behavior | Secret Service Agent!Javier Peña x Fem!Reader | ~6.1k wc | Explicit. Minors DNI.
Summary: Tired of living in the confines of being the President's daughter— you sneak out, only to be caught by the head of your security, Javier Peña.
Tags: smut, age gap (reader is in her early 20s/javier is in his 40s), mean!javi i think, hurt/no comfort?, unprotected p in v sex (be safe), creampie, oral (m receiving), cock worship (i need to suck this man off), fingering, degrading names (slut, whore), semi-public sex (a car in the alleyway because i'm incapable of writing bedroom sex scenes apparently), infidelity (javi is married to lorraine in this au), dubcon (reader is drunk throughout this), no use of y/n, no physical descriptions, if it gets redundant it's because i wrote this at 4 am, other shit i’m probably forgetting.
A/N: secret service counts as bodyguard, right? right! this is for @auteurdelabre's amazing trope off with the trope i chose being, well, bodyguard 🖤 i had a lot of fun writing this, rip brat summer you will be missed! let me know what you think besties, i hope you guys enjoy! 🖤
The garden party is just like all the others—stuffy, overly formal, and dreadfully boring.
Crisp white tablecloths, lavish floral arrangements, and people so proper they could break under the weight of their own fake smiles. You sit there, listening to the endless parade of politicians and diplomats, watching them laugh at jokes that aren’t funny, and nod through speeches about policies that barely concern you.
You hate it. All of it. The politics, the empty pleasantries, the way people look at you like you’re a porcelain doll who must be carefully handled. But tonight’s different.
Tonight, you have a plan.
Feigning a headache? Easy. You’ve been doing it for years, perfecting the art of slipping away unnoticed. You even relish the concerned whispers, the fake sympathy in their eyes.
She can’t even handle a small gathering. Poor thing.
The moment you’re out of sight, the act drops. The tension releases, and your heart races, not from anxiety but from excitement.
You time your bathroom trip perfectly, ducking out of the guest quarters and navigating through the mansion’s less-frequented hallways.
Slipping past the Secret Service isn’t easy, but you’ve learned the gaps in their routine, the places they don’t check. It takes skill, but tonight, you’ve got it.
You’re free.
The rush of adrenaline is intoxicating. It feels foreign, but oh so thrilling, like the first breath of fresh air after being stifled for too long. You aren’t just her anymore— not the perfect girl with the pressure of a nation’s eyes on you, not the symbol of a legacy you never wanted.
You’re just a girl. You’re you.
The club hits you like a shock to the system, but it’s exactly what you crave. The air is thick with heat and bodies, the music pounding so loudly it thrums through your bones, syncing with the beat of your heart. It’s the opposite of everything your life has been—raw, chaotic, real. You feel the tightness of the dress hugging your body, a deliberate rebellion against the prim, conservative outfits you’re usually forced to wear.
There’s nothing modest about this. It clings to every curve, drawing eyes.
The alcohol hits fast, warm and buzzing, setting your blood on fire and sharpening your senses. You raise your arms, let the music take you. Let it drown out the noise in your head— the expectations, the responsibilities, the endless duties.
Your date’s hands find your waist, pulling you closer. His fingers dig in just enough for you to feel anchored, his breath warm against your neck. You lean back into him, letting the heat of his body and the thrum of the bass take you somewhere far away from reality.
You aren’t the girl born with a silver spoon shoved down her throat, suffocating in the luxury you never asked for. No cameras, no protocols, no rules. Just you, him, and the music.
His hands are everywhere, gliding over your hips, fingertips brushing the hem of your barely-there dress. His lips press against your neck, and you let your head fall back, enjoying yourself for the first time in forever.
Everything feels hazy, dreamlike. His mouth moves to your ear, the scrape of his breath sending shivers down your spine, whispering something about sneaking off to the bathroom.
The idea is scandalous and that alone makes you want to indulge it even more. You close your eyes, swaying with him, floating.
The world outside of this moment feels so far away. You don’t even notice the man cutting through the crowd, coming straight toward you.
Not until a large, strong hand clamps down around your arm and yanks you out of your date’s grasp.
You gasp, eyes snapping open, and spin around, blinking against the blur of neon lights, your heart jumping into your throat. Your gaze lifts and you see him— Javier Peña. Oh, shit.
You immediately recognize the stern, commanding face, dark eyes sharp even in the low light of the club. He’s the head of your security, the one you juked earlier when you slipped away from the garden party.
And the look he’s giving you right now? It’s killer. Could easily send you to an early grave.
His brows are furrowed in a deep frown, lips set in a tight line, his usual stoic expression sharpened by the flashing lights around you. His jaw is clenched so hard, you’re afraid he’s going to dislocate it. His eyes are darker than you’ve ever seen them, burning with barely restrained fury.
You’ve been in trouble before, but this? This is something else.
“Hey, man, what the fuck is your problem?” Your date yells, trying to stand his ground, though his voice wavers a bit as he raises it above the music. For a second, you think he might actually try to do something.
Javier straightens up, his broad shoulders squared, chest puffing out, and it’s like watching a lion preparing to pounce. The guy you’re with, barely older than you, tries to hold his own, but as Javier towers over him, something in your date just... crumbles. The bravado slips from his face so quickly.
“I’d suggest you get the fuck away from her,” Javier growls, his voice low and deadly, “before I have the SWAT team outside drag your sorry ass to federal prison.” His words cut through the air like a knife, and even in the middle of the pounding music, the threat hangs heavy.
Your date’s eyes go wide, panic flickering across his face as he stumbles back. There’s no arguing with a man like that.
The guy might have been cocky a minute ago, but he’s not stupid.
He takes one last glance at you, like he’s weighing his options, but it’s clear he’s already made up his mind. Without another word, he’s scrambling away, blending into the crowd.
The people around you keep dancing, completely oblivious to the scene that just played out. But your heart is still pounding in your chest, your arm tingling where Javier’s grip lingers, and you can feel the tension rolling off of him in waves.
You glance up at him, breathless, and he looks back at you, his jaw still tight, eyes still stormy. God, he’s intense. And somehow, that only makes the heat between you burn hotter.
He’s livid. You don’t need words to understand that.
“Peña—” you start, trying to find your voice, but it falters under the intensity of his glare. You’re used to seeing him calm, collected, the perfect professional.
That damn RJF— Resting Javi Face, as you’ve coined it. He never breaks, no matter how much you’ve tried to mess with him in the past.
You’ve spent years teasing him, trying to crack his cool exterior, just to see him react, to get something more than that unwavering stone face. But he never gives you more than the occasional twitch of his jaw, a flick of his brow.
Until now.
Seeing him like this, thoroughly pissed off, stirs something deep inside you, something that’s both thrilling and dangerous. You can’t help the way your heart skips or how your skin flushes beneath his grip.
You’ve always found him damn near irresistible— ever since the moment you first laid eyes on him when your mom reworked your security detail. He became your personal heartthrob, eye candy for the days when you were stuck inside the house, surrounded by guards and endless rules.
You’d never act on it, though. Especially since he’s married, that much you know by the golden band that wraps around his ring finger.
However, the way he’s looking at you now, with those smoldering eyes, is doing something to you. More than just a flutter in your chest. Anticipation pools at the base of your spine, and— damn— you’re definitely feeling it between your thighs.
He’s clearly ready to drag you back to the mansion and lock you up for good.
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” His voice is gravelly and laced with a level of frustration that almost makes you moan. He leans down, his face inches from yours, and you can smell the faint scent of his cologne mixing with the alcohol-soaked air. It’s dizzying. “I’ve been looking for you for hours.”
The accusation in his tone is unmistakable, but you can’t help the smirk that curls at the corner of your lips. The alcohol you’ve consumed gives you some hardcore liquid courage. “Found me now, didn’t you?”
His eyes flash with something you can’t quite read— anger, annoyance. He takes a step closer, his chest brushing against yours. You’re buzzing all over, and you’re not sure if it’s because you’re in trouble, or because the way his presence towers over you is doing things to you that no man has ever done before.
“You think this is a game?” His voice drops lower, a dangerous edge to it that sends a delicious thrill through your body.
It feels like the music has been put on mute with the way you can hear him so clearly.
You’d definitely pass out if not for how bad you want him.
His fingers tense just a little more around your arm, not enough to hurt, but enough to remind you that you’re under his reign right now.
“I didn’t—” you start, but the words die in your throat when he leans in even closer, his breath hot against your ear.
“Let’s fucking go” His tone is final, commanding, and it leaves no room for argument. You can’t help but want to push him a little more.
You bite your lip, feeling the pulse of desire starting its familiar beat against your clit.
“Make me.”
The way he yanks you through the sea of sweaty bodies has you stumbling, your heels wobbling beneath you as a surprised yelp escapes your lips.
The liquor in your system makes it all a blur— the music returns all at once and it jump scares you back to your surroundings; lights flashing, then suddenly, you’re outside in the cool night air.
The alley is dark and quiet compared to the chaos inside the building, the only sound now the distant bass reverberating through the walls. His government issued black SUV sits nearby, its tinted windows gleaming under the dim streetlights.
So no SWAT team? Figures, he probably just said that to scare your date away.
He finally lets go of your arm, and you pull away sharply, rubbing the spot where his grip lingered a little too tight.
“I’m not leaving,” you declare, lifting your chin defiantly. You plant your stiletto clad feet, standing your ground, even though the alcohol is still buzzing through your veins, making everything feel unsteady but bold.
Javier lets out a humorless chuckle, shaking his head as he scratches his jaw. His hands settle on his narrow waist, the standard suit and tie he’s always in, making him look even more handsome.
“You’re not leaving?” he repeats, as if testing the absurdity of your statement. He arches a brow, his lips curling in a sarcastic smirk. “You think this is a negotiation? Because I can assure you, it’s not.”
You cross your arms over your chest, the dress clinging to your skin like a second layer, you can damn near see your heartbeat through the material as you lock eyes with him. “I’m tired of always following someone else’s schedule. Living in my mother’s shadow, doing what I’m told, when I’m told. You don’t get it, Peña. You have no idea what it’s like to have every aspect of your life controlled by someone else.” You can’t help but ramble, tongue loose, “I never get a damn second to myself, to do anything I want!” Your voice rises with each word, frustration boiling over, the alcohol making you bolder than you’d normally be. “So, no. I’m staying right here and enjoying my night out.”
Javier’s smirk disappears, replaced by a hard, unyielding stare. His brown eyes remain dark and guarded, the nearby orange street light casting shadows across his chiseled face. “You’re acting like a spoiled brat,” he says flatly. “This is the life you’re stuck with until your mother is out of office. It’s not about what you want. You think you can just sneak away because it’s inconvenient? Because it’s hard?”
You scoff, rolling your eyes, swaying slightly. “Easy for you to say, standing there in your perfect little suit, playing agent while I drown every day under the pressure of expectations I never asked for.”
Javier’s jaw flexes. “It could be a whole lot worse. You don’t like it? Too bad. Your mother doesn’t even know you’ve snuck out, and I’m not about to let her find out. I need to get you sober and back to the White House before she realizes you’re missing.” His tone is final, like he’s already made up his mind.
You step forward, eyes flashing with rebellion. “Or,” you play right into his hands, switching up entirely. A slow, deliberate, small smirk tugs at the corners of your mouth.
His eyes narrow as he watches you approach, hands still at his waist.
You trail a finger along the edge of his tie, tugging it gently, testing his reaction. He swallows harshly, throat twitching at the action. “Why don’t we both stay? Let loose and have some fun,” you purr, low and teasing, fluttering your eyes as you look up at him. “We could both use a night off.”
He grits his teeth and pulls back slightly, but not enough to break the moment. “Don’t,” he warns, tone laden with something that sounds a lot less like anger and more like desire. “You’re drunk. This isn’t happening.”
“Am I?” You are, obviously. “Or are you just afraid that you’ll like it?” You challenge him, cocking your head to the side slightly.
“What’s the matter, Javier? Is your wife not fulfilling her duties at home? Is that why you’re obsessed with me?”
That strikes a nerve. “Enough,” he growls, voice strained and mean. You don’t give a single fuck, leaning in even closer, your lips ghosting over his jaw. His breath is ragged now, hand twitching at his side, as if he’s debating whether to push you away or pull you closer.
You don’t care that this is dangerous, that it’s wrong. All you care about is the way he’s looking at you now, like he’s been holding back for far too long. And maybe, just maybe, tonight is the night he listens to that voice in his head that’s been craving you all along.
“You’re not pushing me away…” you whisper, “Which makes me think that I’m right about your wife.”
The moment the words leave your mouth, you feel him tense up. The thrill of his reaction is like electricity.
His silence only emboldens you, makes you lean in closer, lips brushing against his ear as you stand on the tips of your toes. You can practically hear the gears turning in his head, the conflict, the desire.
“So why don’t we just fuck?” you say it so bluntly, it almost sobers you up. Your lips are so close to his that you can almost taste him. The small hairs of his mustache tickle your cupid’s bow. “Get it over with. Scratch the itch.”
His hand shoots up, holding your jaw, stopping you in your tracks. His grip is tight, making you wince as his fingers dig into your cheeks.
His eyes carry a storm, filled with the kind of hunger you’ve been dying to see from him.
“You really do think this is a game, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
He moves quickly, using the hold on your face to pull you in for a bruising kiss. It’s not soft or gentle— it’s hungry, desperate, all teeth and tongue as he devours you.
His lips are adamant against yours, rough from the way he’s been biting them in frustration. You can taste the desperation, the pent-up desire.
You kiss him back just as fiercely, your body pressing into his, hands fisting in the front of his suit jacket as you pull him closer. There’s no space between you, no hesitation left. You whimper against his mouth, head spinning from the alcohol still pulsing through your veins and the way his hands have found your waist, gripping you tight.
He pulls away just long enough to breathe, his forehead pressing against yours. “You’re out of your damn mind,” he mutters, but even as he says it, his hands are pulling you in again, pressing your hips against his as if he can’t stop himself.
His eyes are wild now, the usual cool detachment replaced with a recklessness that matches yours.
“And you’re loving every second of it,” you murmur back, your lips already brushing against his again, teasing him, daring him to take more.
Javier growls deep in his throat, and suddenly, he’s spinning then guiding you toward the SUV. You stumble backward, your heels clicking against the pavement, barely able to keep up with his pace yet again.
He pushes you up against the side of the vehicle, your back hitting the cool metal with a soft thud. The contrast between the cold steel and his burning touch sends shivers down your spine. And then his mouth is on yours again, harder this time, his body pressing you into the car, his hands roaming over your curves like he’s been starving for this.
Your fingers card through his hair as you pull him closer, wanting more, needing more. His lips trail down your neck, his stubble scraping against your softness. He nips at the sensitive skin just below your ear, making you gasp.
You arch against him, body responding to every rough touch and kiss. His hands fall over the fabric of your dress, tugging at the hem, sliding it up your thigh.
“Fucking with me all the time just to get me to react,” his fingers press firmly against your clit, teasing through the thin fabric of your panties. The sensation has you whimpering, your head falling back against the metal.
“Then sneaking out like this. I could lose my job over your carelessness.” His teeth sink into your neck, sharp and punishing, making you gasp in surprise, your nails digging into his shoulders.
“But no,” he hisses, his words dripping with contempt as he presses harder, fingers circling your clit in a way that makes your knees weak, hooking one of your legs up on his waist to spread you open further for him “the perfect princess doesn’t give a fuck. She’s too busy whining about being taken care of.” His free hand yanks at your panties, and the flimsy fabric gives way with a harsh tear, leaving you exposed.
The sudden rush of cool air against your hot skin is nothing compared to the feel of his calloused fingers returning to your pussy, spreading the wetness around before plunging two fingers inside you roughly.
The stretch is intense, and you moan loudly, cunt squeezing around his fingers as he works you with a rough precision, like he knows exactly how to break you down.
“You talk a lot for someone who’s fucking a woman half your age,” you bite out, but the words are weak, caught somewhere between a challenge and a plea.
You’re playing a dangerous move here, but the power struggle between you and him is addictive, like a live wire sizzling between you both.
He stops suddenly, fingers still inside you, pulling back just enough to meet your gaze. His expression is dark, dangerous, and filled with something primal. His free hand comes up to wrap around your neck, the cool band of his ring against your heated skin sends a shock through you, and you narrow your eyes at him, daring him to make his next move.
“Tired of you runnin’ that fucking mouth,” he grunts, tightening his grip on your throat just enough to make your breath hitch. With his other hand, he undoes his belt, the gentle clink of metal the only warning you get before he’s pushing you down roughly to your knees.
Your eyes widen as you look up at him, your heart racing. “Here?” you whisper, your voice breathy, equal parts shocked and exhilarated.
Javier tilts his head, a mocking smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he strokes himself, his cock heavy and girthy in his hand. “So now you care?” His tone is patronizing, but his eyes are filled with a hunger that makes your pulse quicken. You bite your lip as your gaze drifts lower, unable to stop yourself from taking in the sheer size of him, the pressure between your thighs building to an unreachable height.
Without another word, he brings you closer by the back of your neck, and your mouth parts instinctively. Your tongue swirls around the spongy tip, tasting the salty slickness of his precome. His fingers dig into your scalp as he guides your movements, but it doesn’t take long for his hips to start thrusting forward, fucking your mouth with no patience, no hesitation.
The pace is brutal, your throat burning as he pushes deeper. His thighs twitch ever so often and you can feel the tension in his body, the way he’s holding back just enough to not completely unravel.
Saliva dribbles from the corners of your mouth, tears streaming down your cheeks and smudging your perfectly applied makeup as you suck him off with desperation.
Your knees ache from grinding against the rough pavement, but the pain is nothing compared to the mess in your cunt, the need building with every rough move.
“Who would’ve thought you could be such a slut,” Javier grunts, his hand gripping the back of your head, keeping you in place. His words are condescending, each syllable dripping with lust.
He pulls you off his cock, a string of spit connecting your lips to his flushed head. “You look so fuckin’ filthy like this,” a cruel smirk is on his lips as he directs your mouth lower, pressing your face against his balls.
Now drunk on him— on the power he’s holding over you, on the taste of him filling your senses— you eagerly obey, your tongue darting out to trace his heavy sack. You moan as you take each one into your mouth, suckling gently, savoring the weight and the taste of him. His low groan above you is all the encouragement you need to keep going, your lips moving greedily as you continue to worship him with no hands.
“Fuck,” he breathes, the rough sound of his voice sending a shiver down your spine. “Had I known you were this good at sucking dick, I would’ve fucked that pretty little throat ages ago.”
His words spur you on, making you feel powerful, wanted, as though you’re giving him something he’s been missing. Something his wife can’t provide. The thought stirs something dark inside of you, a thrill that mixes with the burning in your pussy as you take him back into your mouth, deep-throating him in one smooth motion.
Your palm finally reaches up, fondling his balls as you move, your throat contracting around him with every stroke, the sound of your gagging filling the alley.
You pull him out again, spitting on his cock and pumping him with both hands, your grip slick as you work him faster, relishing in the way his head tips back, eyes squeezed shut in bliss.
After a few more minutes of your sloppy, eager blowjob, he groans and yanks you off him, his hands rough as he drags you to your feet. Before you can process what’s happening, he’s thrown open the backdoor of the SUV, damn near tossing you inside before climbing in behind you.
The moment he’s inside, his badge and gun are discarded to the side, and he grabs you by the waist, pulling you onto his lap as he leans back against the seat. His cock is hard and slick, pressing against your soaked entrance, but he doesn’t push inside yet.
Instead, he yanks the top of your dress down, exposing your breasts, and immediately latches his mouth onto one of your nipples. His wet tongue swirls around the sensitive bud as his free hand pinches and tugs at the other, sending shocks of pleasure straight to your pussy.
You moan loudly, your hips grinding down against his dick, sliding him between your slick folds, teasing both of you.
You’ve made a mess of his white shirt and part of his slacks.
You wonder if he’ll go home to her like this. Kiss her with the same mouth that’s kissed you.
Every inch of your skin is on fire, the need to have him inside of you building with every passing second.
“Javier, please,” you whine, your fingers tangling in his hair as you try to push yourself down onto him.
He pulls away from your breast with a wet pop, “Look at you,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with condescension as his hand trails down your body, his fingers grazing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. “Begging for my cock like a whore.”
You bite your lip, your pride long forgotten as you look down at him, a needy expression painting your face. “Please, Javi,” you beg, grinding harder against him, feeling the thick head of his cock press against your entrance. “I need you. Please— fuck me.”
He chuckles darkly, his grip on your hips bruising the skin as he holds you still. “You think I’m just gonna give you what you want after the way you’ve been acting?”
Before you can respond, his hand comes down hard on your ass, the sharp sting of the spank making you cry out in surprise. “Javi!”
“Shut the fuck up,” he grumbles, landing another spank on the other cheek. “You want my cock? Earn it.”
You moan, your body trembling as the pain mixes with the pleasure coursing through you. His words, his rough treatment— it only makes you want him more. “Please,” you sob, your voice shaky as you wiggle your hips, trying to push him inside, the lingering sting of his smacks vibrating against your plush skin.
He groans, and in one swift motion, he thrusts up into you, his cock stretching you wide as he sinks deep inside. You cry at the sudden intrusion, your body tensing before relaxing as the pleasure of being filled washes over you.
“Fuck,” it feels like his cock has punched you in the lungs, your nails digging into his shoulders as you start to move, riding him slowly at first, your head thrown back as you savor the feeling of him inside of you. “So fucking big.”
Javier grunts, his hands gripping your hips as he guides your movements, bucking up into you as you swivel your hips. “That’s it,” his teeth graze your neck as he thrusts harder, deeper. “Take it, princess. Take every inch.”
You moan loudly, your body then bouncing on his lap as you both lose yourselves in the heat of the moment.
Nothing else matters except the way he feels inside you and the filthy words spilling from his lips as you fuck each other like you’ve both been waiting for this for far too long.
The sounds coming from both of you—wet, filthy, primal—fill the confined space of the SUV. The smell of sex and leather in the air.
Each thrust of his hips sends you spiraling closer to the edge, your bodies colliding in a frenzied rhythm that makes the vehicle rock with your movements. Thank fucking God the windows are tinted.
Javier’s hands grip your hips tightly, guiding your frantic movements, his cock buried deep inside of you, hitting every spot that makes you cry out in pleasure.
Eyes are half-lidded as he watches your breasts bounce while you hop on his dick.
His lips part, a low groan escaping him as he feels you flutter around him, your pussy tightening with the promise of your impending orgasm.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grits out. He’s close— so fucking close— and the way you’re moving, the way you’re so desperate for him, makes it impossible for him to hold back much longer.
His brow furrows, a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face as he thrusts up into you harder, faster— chasing his own release. “You’re gonna make me come, princess,” he groans, his fingers digging into your skin as he bites down on his lower lip.
Your head falls back, your lips parted in a breathless moan as the band inside you snaps. “Javi,” you mewl, barely able to get his name out as the wave of pleasure crashes over you, sending your body trembling and convulsing around him. “Oh fuck, I’m coming,” you gasp, your voice breaking as your orgasm ripples through you. “Harder— please.”
He grits his teeth once he feels you unravel around him, your pussy clenching against his cock. It gets him there with you, a deep groan rumbling from his chest as his hips jerk up harshly a few more times time.
His release hits him hard, spilling into you without asking, but you don’t notice nor care. You both ride out the aftershocks together, tangled in each other’s arms, your breaths coming in ragged gasps, the car still rocking slightly as the final thrusts slow.
For a brief moment, everything is still. Your fingers trailing over his skin as you try to catch even out your breathing.
But then, reality slams back into focus.
Javier’s body goes rigid beneath you, his hands releasing their grip on your hips as if what just happened is sinking in all at once. “Get off,” he mutters, his voice suddenly sharp. “Now.”
You blink, disoriented, still riding the afterglow, but the tone of his voice cuts through the haze. You hesitate for a second, looking down at him, trying to read his expression. There’s no trace of the infatuation that had consumed him just moments ago. Instead, his face is etched with regret, his lips pressed into a thin line, his jaw tight.
“Javi…” you start, but he cuts you off, his hand coming up to push you gently but firmly off his lap.
“Get. Off,” he repeats, leaving no room for argument.
You pull away, your body trembling slightly as you move off him, awkwardly adjusting your dress. The tension is suffocating as Javier quickly pulls up his pants, his hands shaking slightly as he fastens his belt. He’s avoiding your gaze, his brows furrowed in frustration as he runs a hand through his hair, cursing under his breath.
“We need to go,” his voice is cold and distant, as if the intimacy you just shared never happened. “Before your mother declares a state of emergency on the entire country.”
He digs into his pocket, your ruined panties then are tossed at you and you bite your lip, feeling the sting of rejection settle deep in your chest.
Once he’s fixed his clothes, Javier moves with a tense efficiency, reholstering his gun and straightening his badge like nothing happened.
His movements are mechanical, as if he’s trying to regain control, trying to rebuild that wall he always hides behind. You sit there, watching him in silence, a real icy feeling knotting in your chest.
He doesn’t look at you as he steps out of the SUV, slamming the door behind him forcefully and it makes you flinch. The loud thud echoes through the car, leaving you alone in the backseat with nothing but your racing thoughts and destroyed underwear.
The shame snaps into you then, creeping up your spine and spreading through your body like poison. You wipe the smeared makeup from under your eyes, fix your dress, but there’s no saving it. Literally and metaphorically.
He slips into the driver’s seat a moment later. He doesn’t say a word.
You sink back into the leather seat, the silence absolutely deafening. The back of the car feels like a cage now— your earlier exhilaration has all but disappeared. All that’s left is this gnawing sense of regret swirling in your gut.
The engine hums to life as he drives out of the alleyway, his movements precise and methodical, the way they always are when he’s on the job.
Like he’s already compartmentalizing.
You consider saying something— anything to break the silence that’s strangling you both— but the words die on your lips. What would you even say?
“You should’ve never snuck out,” Javier finally speaks lowly, as if it’s painful for him to even acknowledge the situation. “You’re lucky no one saw you.”
There’s an edge to his words, but it’s not the usual reprimand. Rather just regret, frustration, and anger all wrapped into one.
You don’t respond right away, your eyes fixed on the traffic ahead. “I don’t care,” you finally mutter, more to yourself than to him. “I’m sick of it. Of all of it.” You pause, your throat tight with emotion. “For once, I just wanted to feel like I was in control.”
Javier lets out a harsh breath, his hands tightening on the wheel. “Control? ” He scoffs, his tone biting. “You don’t even know what that word means.”
You turn your head to glare at him, heart pounding in your chest. “I’m not a fucking child.” He chuckles at that, wordlessly saying otherwise. “And you don’t know what it’s like to live my life,” you snap, the frustration boiling over. “To constantly be watched, to have every move scrutinized, to be paraded around like some perfect fucking doll when I didn’t ask for any of it.”
His grip on the wheel loosens slightly, but his face remains impassive. “None of this is new,” he reminds you, “You knew what your life would be like when your mother was re-elected. It’s not about you anymore. It never was.”
You feel the sting of his words, but you refuse to back down. “Maybe it should be,” you say, your voice trembling with anger. “Maybe I should get to live my life the way I want to. Not the way everyone else expects me to.”
Brown eyes flicker toward you in the rearview mirror for a split second. He shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter,” his voice is tight. “You can try again in four years.”
You huff, crossing your arms over your chest as you sink deeper into the seat. “You just want to pretend this never happened.”
Javier’s silence is answer enough.
The rest of the ride is quiet and tense. When you finally pull up to the back gates of the White House, you sigh when your lavish prison comes into view and when he parks right outside the private entrance that you and the rest of your family get in and out of.
Javier glances in the rearview mirror one final time, his expression unreadable, before he cuts the engine and steps out.
He opens the back door for you, his handsome face set in that familiar stoic mask. “Let’s go,” he orders, tone flat, devoid of the erotic emotions from earlier.
You hesitate, a pout forming on your lips, the confidence you’d wielded earlier crumbling to dust. Your legs wobble as you step out, shaky and weak from how he fucked you
He shrugs off his jacket and throws it over your bare shoulders. The gesture would’ve felt protective, maybe even tender, in another moment. But now, it’s a calculated move to cover up the evidence of what you just did. He’s not doing it for you— he’s doing it for his job.
He walks you inside, his large hand resting lightly at your lower back as if guiding you, but the warmth you once felt from his touch is nowhere to be found. His eyes dart around the hall, scoping the area, making sure none of the other agents that he commands are around to see you.
He nods curtly when the coast is clear, a silent gesture to keep moving. You feel like a liability— something to be hidden away, managed, not the girl who he was just balls deep inside.
The heels you’re wearing are muted against the thick carpet as you walk down the long hallway toward your bedroom. Each step feels like an eternity.
When you finally reach your bedroom door, he pulls the jacket from your shoulders without a word. You blink back the sting of tears, throat tightening at the action.
He’s not just being distant—he’s erasing you, erasing the moment, wiping it all away like it meant nothing.
Because it hadn’t meant a damn thing. He is married, after all. You were nothing but an easy fuck. A form of relief. Eye candy for him as he was for you.
Without looking back or saying anything, you push open the door and step inside. The soft click of the latch as you shut it in his face echoes in the stillness and you don’t need to look back to know that there’s nothing behind those brown eyes for you anymore.
#tropeoff2024#javier peña smut#javier pena smut#pedro pascal#javier peña x reader#javier pena x reader#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena fanfic#javier pena fic#javier pena narcos#javier peña fanfiction#javier peña fic#javier peña narcos#kat's writing.
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MESS ME UP
pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader wc: 6.1k content warnings: language, abuse of italics, grammatically incorrect past tense flashback, smut robbery(?), pretty mature but nothing graphic synopsis: your friends invited you out to a frat party to celebrate the men’s team winning the NCAA tournament where you bump into paige bueckers, the girl who you're in love with and who you ghosted for a month after hooking up with her. a much-needed conversation at the party forces you to revisit difficult memories and give her the closure she’s been seeking. notes: idk what this is! based loosely off of 'friends' and 'mess me up' by chase atlantic. unfortunately the smut robbery line is for real, like it's smut in the way lacroix tastes like real fruit (which is to say it's not smut, but like concepts of smut... 😝 (i've never had lacroix idk if this is accurate)) side note i hate writing in past tense but doing a traditional flashback scene is corny as hell! idk if it matters but this is set april 2024 (w/ a february 2024 flashback); doesn't really affect anything, so... anyway, second post on tumblr, lmk if we're rocking w it 🙂↕️
For the record, you didn’t want to come to this party.
It’s hot, sweaty, loud, and all you can smell is the same brand of men’s cologne and weed. The air is both stale and somehow feels wet and all you can think about is getting back to your apartment so you can shower and go to bed. You had a mock trial bright and early the next morning and your law professor was a stickler for punctuality and presentability – showing up with wrinkled clothes and smelling like a frat party was a sure-fire way to fail, and you had too much riding on your grades to let that happen.
The frat (whose name you’ve already forgotten) was celebrating the NCAA tournament win for the UCONN men’s basketball team. They’d apparently gone back to back, which you guess is cool, but you swore off basketball a long time ago. If you had your way, you’d be at home, three steps into your skincare routine, but you let peer pressure get the best of you and allowed your friends to drag you out.
It’d be fun, they said. You never come out with us! You’re spending all this tuition money and you’re not even taking advantage of it. How can you say you don’t like it if you’ve never tried it?
You only remember that your friends are law students, too, in the most unfortunate of moments when they put their persuasiveness to the test. In the most unfortunate of moments, you’re also reminded of the fact that they’re college students, too, because they’re leaving you at the door and rushing off to find something to drink. You weren’t upset they dragged you out. Not necessarily. You were grown enough to say no. Perhaps you’d simply set your expectations too high when they begged you to come out and you thought they would spend at least a little bit of time with you before doing their own thing. But sure. It’s whatever.
So, here you are – standing alone in the corner of a frat party, watching as drunk college students grind against each other, laugh, and have a good time. A part of you feels like you’re missing out, but as you watch somebody throw up into a plant, you feel like you’re just fine where you are.
You’re drawn from your thoughts when a man wearing a backwards cap suddenly shows up next to you. “Yo, you thirsty?” he yells over the music, thrusting a red solo cup into your empty hands. You don’t have the time to say anything to him before he’s grinning at you, eyes red and hooded. “Come dance with me. You’re too pretty to be standin’ here all alone.”
You hear her before you see her.
“She’s good, bro, trust,” Paige interrupts smoothly, throwing a casual arm around your shoulders. You feel too much like a damsel in distress, but sensing the gravity of the situation, you flash the guy a light smile and lean into Paige slightly. Her grip tightens. You try to not let it bother you.
He raises his hands, surrendering. “My bad. You got it.”
Paige hums, unconvinced, as he leaves. When he’s out of your sight, you wrench yourself out of her grip. “Thank you, but not necessary,” you tell her sharply, red solo cup still in your hand. If this was how your night was going to go, then you need to be a little tipsy to survive it. You barely have it halfway to your mouth before Paige is pulling it out of your grasp, pouring its contents into a potted plant and chucking the cup into a nearby trash can. “What the fu–”
“First of all,” she begins, arms crossing protectively, “never accept a drink at a party that you didn’t pour, didn’t see someone else pour, or a drink that’s already open; matter fact, don’t accept a drink unless you opened it or brought it in yourself.”
You roll your eyes slightly. “This is Storrs, Paige. Do the frats really get down like that here?”
Her gaze is unimpressed. “You’re the law student, ma, you tell me the numbers. Second of all, you’re welcome. That was Kylin. He doesn’t take no for an answer in the first place but he’s all kinds of fucked up right now. I’d say I did you a favor but I wanted to talk to you, anyway.”
“Funny,” you deadpan. “Here? Now?”
“What are you doing here?” she asks you, ignoring your snippy words. “Thought this wasn’t your scene.”
You pause. “It’s not,” you confirm. “Jos and Chelsea wanted me to come out. Figured I should be a good friend once in a while.”
Paige raises a brow. “Jos and Chelsea are too busy playing strip poker with dudes from Kappa Phi to keep an eye on you, and you’re worried about having to be a good friend?”
“First of all,” you say in the know-it-all tone that Paige had used on you, “I don’t need them to keep an eye on me.” The blonde hums again, not entirely convinced, and the heat of her gaze makes you stumble over your words slightly. “Second of all, why do you even care?”
“We’re friends,” she states.
“We were once,” you correct, voice softening. It’s no secret that you and Paige had fucked up whatever you had going on. It’s never been clear whose fault your fallout was (it was yours), nor could the two of you ever agree on what destroyed you (you would argue that you shouldn’t hook up with your friends, especially not the ones you were in love with). It was a messy situation that you were sure the two of you couldn’t recover from (you didn’t want to be friends with someone you couldn’t have; Paige just wants you to give her the chance to prove you otherwise).
“Sure,” she agrees half-heartedly, knowing your spiel by heart now. “Kinda fucked up you think I need a reason to care.” You don’t dignify that with a proper response, feeling something strangely like guilt corroding your heart. “Come outside and get some air with me? Please? Just wanna talk, no funny shit, I promise.”
You sigh, feeling yourself fall back into all too familiar routines. You had a near inability to say no to Paige most times – it was the reason why you had to put a stop to your friendship. And here you are now, undoing all of the progress you’ve made since you’ve been apart (a small part of you knows better; you’re moving forward but you’re not really doing any better. You’re not progressing. You’re just stuck now, only this time, you have less than you did before). “Jos and Chelsea–”
“–made their choice,” she finishes for you. “And their choice was strip poker with a guy named Anthony,” she adds solemnly. You can’t help but quirk a smile at the absurdity of your life right now. “C’mon, please? It fucking reeks in here. They’ve got a porch swing outside and it’s all quiet and shit.”
“You’ve always had a way with words,” you tease.
“You comin’ or nah?” she asks, but you shove her forward (she lets you) and she leads you through the crowd to the door. They part like the Red Sea and you can’t help but admire the way she silently commands the room, feeling a flutter in your chest you try desperately to stomp out. It’s like a fire; all it takes is a small spark before it eventually grows out of proportion. You know better now.
The door shuts behind the two of you and you sit on the porch swing. You can still hear the music’s pounding bass, but it’s muted. You feel like you can hear your thoughts now. The tension in your shoulders eases as you take in the crisp night air, the crickets’ chirps, the occasional owl’s hoot. For a moment, you forget all of the complicated history between you and Paige; the way she held your hand as she kissed up your thigh, the way she stayed afterwards, cleaning you up and bringing you water. It almost seems as Paige is reliving all of it, too, as she looks at you, and that thought is sobering enough to bring you back to the moment.
You finally get a good look at what she’s wearing. It’s nothing outstanding; a gray Nike tech suit and a pair of dunks, although she’s opted to leave her jacket unzipped, revealing the crop top underneath. She’s dressed for comfort, though the most unfair part of it all is how good she looks when she’s not trying. Her cheekbones are sharp, eyes blue and wide and alert, and you can’t help but notice how fitting a slick-back bun is on her.
This was precisely why you needed your space. You couldn’t control your thoughts or feelings. It was manageable when you minded your business – the phrase out of sight, out of mind did wonders for you and you were usually busy enough that she only crossed your mind once or twice a week when the student population was buzzing about a recent game. But now? Now you’re fucked. You’re inches away from her and you’ve allowed her to pull you back into her orbit. She’s the Earth and you’re a meteor – any closer and you won’t be able to come back from the damage you would do to each other. She would survive, you’re sure, but you’d be destroyed in the process.
“So,” she says slowly. You avert your eyes, staring at anything but her. “How you been?”
“Good,” you lie. “Keeping busy.” That part was less of a lie, but it wasn’t her business to know.
Paige has always been good at reading you, so she gazes at you like she’s not convinced. “I think we’re overdue a conversation,” she says, surprising you. “A real one. No more of this running in circles bullshit.”
“Okay,” you agree hesitantly. You finally meet her eyes. They’re strikingly blue, disarming, and you feel an odd mixture of guilt and longing eat away at your insides. She looks like she’s drinking you in, like she’s trying to understand why you did what you did; her eyes soften in the dim glow of the porchlight and you can’t help but flush under her gaze. She always understands you in spite of how often you push her away – she seems to understand why you keep her at arm’s length, too, and it’s then that you fully understand how overwhelming it is to be known.
“Why did you leave?” she asks finally. You have to swallow back the bile in your throat. “The morning after.” Her clarification does nothing to soothe the turmoil in your stomach. “I thought…” Paige’s throat bobs as she tries to find the words. “It wasn’t a hook up. It meant something to me – everything to me. So why did you leave like that shit ain’t matter to you?”
That night in February comes back to you in the blur of a memory. You’ve thought about it so often that you could write a play-by-play of it; every single unremarkable detail comes back to you in a flourish of vibrant color – the way the floor felt beneath your feet as Paige guided you into her room, the slight scratch of her nail against the base of your neck as her hands found purchase in your hair. Paige was wrong. It meant something to you, too much to you. You often remind yourself, if it meant that much, why was it easier to run away? Jumping off of a diving board into a pool conceptually means the same thing as jumping off of a cliffside into beach waves; the jump isn’t the hard part, it’s the reminder of the distance between your feet and the surface. Your feelings for Paige are too consuming. It’s easier to not make the jump at all than it is to worry if you’ll be able to come up for air.
She was in high spirits, drunk off of their win against Villanova. They weren’t an opponent you’d typically call home for, but the Huskies were having a tough season with several injured players and a lot of underclassmen. It was close, 67-46; Paige had contributed to a little less than half of their points overall with a solid 31. She was happy, the rest of her team was happy, and she’d begged you to come over to her apartment for the post-game festivities – which was usually games and snacks as they weren’t big on drinking during the season. You’d nearly refused at first. It was supposed to be a small team get-together and you had some work to catch up on. You eventually gave in, like you always do. Paige had flashed her typical, charming smile, looping an arm around your waist, and you were a goner.
The team accepted you like you were one of their own, too. That was new. You didn’t spend as much time with them as you did with Jos and Chelsea, but it felt like you knew them better than you knew Jos and Chelsea, anyway. Ice and KK were two menacing peas in a pod – they were like sisters separated at birth and whenever they were together, something chaotic was bound to happen, but they loved and protected fiercely despite the way they teased each other and the team. Caroline was like the team mother and many of the girls called her such. Nika was intense on the court, but off of it, she was Paige’s twin through and through – they always had something to say to each other and their banter often brought smiles to everyone’s faces. Azzi was sweet and well-loved by the team (and the student population in general). She introduced you to her and Paige’s son Ines, which confused you at first, but Paige threw her arm over your shoulder and assured you that they’re only co-parenting because Carol has enough children and they didn’t want Ines to be a ward of the court. You couldn’t help but smile at that, leaning into Paige – something about the team’s dynamic healed you a little, and Ines joked that Paige went out and got her a stepmom.
You felt the blush creep up your neck as Paige tightened her grip around you slightly. “I didn’t want you to find out like this, son,” Paige had said somberly, pretending to look sad as Azzi rolled her eyes. “Your mother was havin’ an affair–”
“Oh, bullshit!” Azzi cried. The entire room broke out into fits of giggles.
“Now I understand why Paige wifed up a lawyer,” KK said in between laughter. “Tryna get a discount on that divorce, huh?”
The team had tears in their eyes from their excitement – you didn’t have the heart to tell them you were hoping to specialize in civil litigation, so you just laughed along. The conversation continued to flow as games were played. Nika was exceptionally bad at UNO and Paige never let her hear the end of it. You guys only managed to play a couple of rounds before Nika suddenly got good and played a +4, prompting Ice and KK to stack +4s of their own onto it – Paige stared in disbelief for a solid thirty seconds before picking up 12 cards and rage-quitting one turn later when KK skipped her.
“There, there,” you’d said, lips trembling as you tried not to laugh at the look on Paige’s face. You rubbed her shoulder comfortingly, and she pushed you off her gently, her own lips quirking in amusement. “Show this card game who’s boss.”
“Bro,” she grumbled, but she couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she leaned back into the couch, her arm finding home over the back of your shoulders once more. You remember wondering if this is what normal felt like, what finally finding a community was like – you fit in too well with Paige’s teammates and they made you feel at home. Being near Paige made you feel at home. She was talented that way. She had an uncanny ability to make people feel at ease, regaling them with jokes and an endless supply of charm. When you realized you were in love with Paige Bueckers, you weren’t surprised about it. If anything, you might have been a little upset with yourself – you were sure you weren’t the only person she’d drawn in unintentionally, ensnared in a web whose latticework was meticulously shaped like basketball netting.
As the night went on, more and more laughs were shared until the clock reached midnight and many of Paige’s teammates got up to leave. Everyone shared hugs and affectionate goodnights. All of them even looped around to hug you – which was… nice. Paige shared her apartment with Azzi and Aubrey, so they retired to their own rooms after curious glances to you and Paige, still curled up together on the couch.
The apartment was quiet. You could hear the ring of silence as it enveloped the two of you, Paige’s gentle breathing, and the tick of the clock. It was oddly comforting; normally, it would have lulled you into a drowsy state, but you couldn’t focus on anything but the heat of Paige’s body next to yours, the brush of her thumb against your shoulder. Feeling both unmoored and tethered, you shift next to Paige, gathering her attention. “I should go,” you’d whispered. Her thumb halted.
“Stay,” she requested. She tilted her head. Her gaze met yours. You expected her eyes to be half-closed, dim with sleep. The rasp of her voice was attributed to a tone you knew she’d adopt when she was exhausted, but her eyes were wide, alert, dilated, a blue so dark you were sure you almost mistook the sheer want for something else. “Stay,” she murmured again. “Please.”
“Yeah,” you agreed almost breathlessly, feeling her hand squeeze your shoulder gently. “Sure.” She untangles from you and stands from the couch, offering you her hand, and you take it. She led you seamlessly through the dark of her apartment into her bedroom, where she released you long enough to rifle through her drawers, having found you a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt for you to wear to bed. Paige pointed you towards the bathroom. You changed into her clothes. Your fingers had shook with anticipation at the sheer domesticity of it all as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. Your – her – t-shirt read HOPKINS GIRLS BASKETBALL. It had all felt so different now. You hadn’t been sure at the moment if it terrified you or excited you.
You exited the bathroom to find Paige’s back to you, adjusting the band of a pair of basketball shorts around her hips. Her hair was out of her bun and it cascaded down her back in loose, wavy strands; you’d felt an inexplicable urge to run your fingers through it, to find out if her hair was as soft as it looked. She was wearing a dark black sports bra. The two of you were friends. Granted, you were in love with her, but the sight of her wearing nothing but ball shorts and her Nike bra shouldn’t have done the things it did to you.
“Which side is yours?” you’d asked, mostly to break the silence. You ignored the crack in your voice. Paige paid it no mind as she turned, which forced you to avert your eyes, trying not to glance at her abdominals.
“Don’t matter,” she responded. You watched the way she moved, sitting low on the bed, legs long and stark against the purple of her comfort. “You gettin’ in or what?” You hoped she couldn’t see the flush on your neck. You slid into bed next to her, hoping to maintain some sort of distance, but she refused to let you get too far. She slung her arm over your waist, fingers brushing against your skin where your shirt rode up. Her breath was even against your neck and the heat of her body nearly turned your brain into mush. “This okay?” she asked, tone softer.
“Mhm,” you hummed, afraid to speak or you might fuck up and tell her just how okay it actually was. Paige was just a touchy person, you tried to remind yourself as you felt the tickle of her hair against the nape of your neck. This doesn’t mean anything to her. It was all for naught. It did little to quell the way your heart raced, the way the heat pooled low in your belly.
“You looked good tonight,” she said casually. You tried to stop the goosebumps as they rose on your flesh. “You always do.”
Unable to think of something smart to say, you shifted your body slightly, your fingers splaying over the arm she held tight around your midsection. “Oh, yeah?” Her fingers brushed a little lower on your stomach, grazing the waistband of your shorts.
She hummed an affirmative, pulling you tighter against herself, and you could barely breathe. It was overwhelming in the best way – she was all around you. Physically, you felt as though you were in her skin as she greedily pulled you in. The scent of her was everywhere; the shampoo that seeped into her pillows, the cologne on her neck. Your hair stood on end as her lips brushed almost imperceptibly against the shell of your ear. “‘M glad you came tonight,” she whispered.
You flipped on your side, face-to-face with Paige. Her arm moved enough for you to get situated and once you were, her hand found the small of your back, her palm warm against your skin. You can’t help the way your breath hitched, even as Paige’s eyes seemed to take in the stuttering rise and fall of your chest. Having found some courage, you poked her cheek, drawing her eyes back up to yours. “What are we doing?” you asked finally, feeling uncomfortably vulnerable. Her brow raised slightly, the dark blue of her gaze illuminated by the streaks of moonlight through her window. “No funny shit, Paige. You touch me like you want me, claim me in front of your friends.” You searched her eyes as she fell silent. “What are we doing?” you repeated, voice firmer.
“I want you,” she confessed after a few heartbeats of contemplation. She leaned in closer to you, your noses nearly brushing, and she continued, “I want you so fucking bad. Don’t wanna do anything you’ont want, but–”
Your lips were on hers before she had the chance to finish. She responded eagerly, one hand firm around your waist as she flipped the both of you over, pulling you to straddle her waist. You leaned down, your chest against hers, hands on each side of her neck. You felt the thundering of her pulse under your fingers. It was stabilizing in a sense – words were one thing, but to feel how badly you’d been able to affect her, too, did wonders for your growing ego. Paige’s hands had found your hips, keeping you pressed against her body.
You parted briefly to catch your breath. Paige’s chest heaved, her lips shiny and swollen. She was hard to look away from. For a moment, you’d wondered if this was worth it. Your heart had raced, beating uncontrollably; it felt like too much and not enough at the same time. Everything would change between the two of you. Was one night with Paige worth the risk of losing your friendship? You feel too strongly, too much, overwhelmingly. You’ve been told by an ex or two that you were simply too much. You wouldn’t want to subject Paige to that.
Her right hand met your face, tracing the line of your bottom lip. “You want this?” she asked. Her eyes were blown wide, more pupil than iris, but something about it entranced you. The desire in her eyes had brought fresh heat to your stomach, but coupled with the fact she’d be willing to stop made your heart beat a little faster. She was enough to quell your worries, settling the irregularity of your thoughts. You nodded, leaning down to connect your lips again, but her hand was insistent against your jaw as she held you back. “Words,” she commanded.
You’d barely resisted an eyeroll. “Yes, Paige,” you affirmed. Her hand loosened, eyes searching yours. “Want you.”
Her smile turned smug. “Yeah? How bad?”
The tease sent white-hot desire straight through your body as your hips rolled against hers, trying to find some relief. Her hands fall back down to your waist, helping you rut against her thigh as a shared flush creeped up both of your necks. “You gonna touch me?” you breathed against her lips. Her breath came out a disjointed stutter when you guided her hand to the swell of your ass. It was unnatural – Paige was so sure, so confident. To have her nearly at your mercy was like a drug through your veins, but you didn’t want her there. You wanted Paige fully in control; you wanted her to take care of you, to give you everything you’d fantasized about for months on end. You wanted her so bad it rewired the coding in your brain. There was something about her that broke down all of the walls you spent years building.
Your actions and words had been the only permission she needed. One of her hands gripped the flesh of your ass as the other one cupped the back of your neck. Her nail scratched you inadvertently as she dragged you back down to connect your lips – the slight echo of pain caused you to whine against her lips, a sound she swallowed greedily before she flipped the two of you over once more. Your head fell back against her pillows as she rucked up your shirt, finding that you’d opted to not wear a bra. She groaned indulgently, one large hand coming up to squeeze one of your breasts and her mouth finding the other one.
You ran your fingers through her hair, gripping it tight as she lavished you with attention. “So fuckin’ pretty,” she murmured against you, voice dripping with want. She pressed her knee against your core as she found her way back to your lips, kissing you deeply and drawing another whimper from your parted lips. It sent a jolt through your body. “You gon’ let me do what I want, huh? Get you right?”
“Paige, please,” you begged, all of the shame having left your body as you ground down against her knee, feeling the pleasure and relief simultaneously. “Fuck, do what you want, I don’t care – just please fucking touch me.”
She shushed you, lips back on yours, tongue brushing against your lips like she was trying to take whatever you’d give her. And at that point, you would have given her anything if it meant she’d stop teasing you. “I got you, ma, jus’ relax,” she whispered against your lips. She trailed a blazing path down your chest, leaving hickies as she went. Paige reached the waistband of your shorts; she pressed a sloppy kiss to your navel before bunching her fingers in and pulling them off, throwing them haphazardly into the room.
The air was cold against you. You were breathing heavily by then, eyes squeezed shut in anticipation. Her hand untwisted yours from the bedsheets, linking your fingers together, and that touch alone was enough to bring you back down to earth. “I got you,” she promised again, reminding you, pressing diligent kisses against the inside of your thigh. You relaxed ever so slightly against her, feeling as though you could breathe a little easier, but your body was still incredibly high strung. Paige squeezed your hand. Then her mouth was on you, and you were done for.
She held your hand as she went down on you, talking you through it until your orgasm reached its peak and you sunk into the bed bonelessly. She didn’t release you when she came back up, her smile a mix of smugness, pride, and quiet adoration. Paige kissed your knuckles, your cheeks, your lips, drawing a contented sigh out of you. “You good?” she asked, brushing your hair out of your eyes, hand cradling your jaw.
Exhausted, all you could do was hum an affirmative. Paige flashed a small smile again, pressing a kiss to your forehead and crawling off the bed, much to your surprise. “Lemme get you some water,” she said. “‘M coming right back, I promise.”
You nodded wordlessly, closing your eyes and sinking back into the pillows as your breathing evens out. She left her room, the door shutting with a silent click. In the silence of Paige’s bedroom, curled up in her purple comforter, all you can think about is how the future of your friendship has inexplicably changed forever. She said she wanted you. Did she just mean sexually? Paige was always intentional in her communication, a byproduct of her media training. Tears brimmed your eyes when you considered the idea that you might have just been another Wednesday night fling for her. Here you are again, feeling stupid about the overwhelming feelings you harbored for Paige despite your better judgment. The worst part was that it wasn’t her fault. You got your hopes up.
You wiped your eyes when you heard the door open again. Paige crossed the room, cracking open a cold bottle of water for you and pressing it to your lips. You nearly forgot about your inner turmoil when she smiled at you again, having thrown her hair back up into its bun. “Gonna clean you up, okay?” she informed you. At your nod, she runs a warm washcloth between your thighs, getting rid of the lingering stickiness. She carefully redressed you, squeezing your hips gently, and you’re left feeling so incredibly conflicted that you’re breathless with the anxiety. Paige disposed of the washcloth and curled up next to you in bed once more, an arm wrapping around your midsection. You’d told each other goodnight, but as her breath evens out against your neck, your mind races.
You slept fitfully through the night. And when morning light rolled around, you extracted yourself from Paige’s grip, sliding a pillow into her arms. The nervousness and all of your overthinking thoughts made you queasy with grief. You were in love with Paige Bueckers. That much was true. You were too head over heels for her to return to normalcy; you couldn’t. At that point, it would be easier for you to not be friends with her at all than to pretend like she wasn’t everything you’d ever wanted.
As she slept, you casted one last guilty look over your shoulder and you ran.
But that night in February has long since passed, and on the porch swing on a much warmer night in April, Paige stares at you in desperation, seeking answers to the questions you’ve withheld for over a month. “Why did you leave?” she asks you again. “Fuck, tell me the truth, lie to me, whatever, just please give me something to work with.”
“It was overwhelming,” you finally admit, twisting the rings on your fingers. You feel terrible as you glance at Paige, whose eyes soften when she takes in your expression.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I shoulda seen that something was wrong.”
You close your eyes, lips trembling. You’re touched at how she instantly takes responsibility for your fuck ups, thinking she’s done something wrong. “No, Paige,” you correct her. “Fuck. It wasn’t you. It was never you.” You pick at a loose string on your shorts. She stares at you, waiting for you to continue. “You were so gentle. That night meant everything to me, and that was the problem. I wanted you so bad – Jesus Christ, I was in love with you for months. I don’t do casual. I always feel too strongly and I loved you so much that it was fucking overwhelming. I woke up and nearly lost it because I couldn’t handle the idea of having you like that and having to pretend like I didn’t want you like that forever. It was so much easier to run and not face the possibility of having to be your friend when all I’ve wanted was more.”
When you finally look back to Paige, her eyes are wide with something that looks strangely like grief, like you’ve pulled the rug from under her feet and watched as she fell. As you think about it, that’s probably what you’ve done, anyway. She spent so long thinking that your fallout was her fault, that it was something she’d done, but the ugly truth of the matter was that you were too scared of the way you felt for her that you ran from it instead. Paige runs a frustrated hand over her jaw, her expression nearly unreadable. You frown. “I’m sorry,” you say quietly, knowing that your apology is long overdue. You fucked up so incredibly bad with her. Your brain remembers her prior words, the ‘It wasn’t a hook up. It meant something to me – everything to me,’ and you suddenly feel like an idiot. God, it was mutual this entire time and you were too caught up in yourself to realize it.
“You think too fucking much,” Paige says finally, and you hardly have the time to react before she’s kissing you, her hands gripping your hips. You nearly gasp against her lips before you fully register what’s happening. Sinking into it, you wrap your arms around her neck, feeling suddenly like everything is finally aligning, that all of your blurred focal points sharpen. When she pulls away, her eyes are alight with understanding. “So, lemme get this straight. You pushed me away ‘cause you’re in love with me, then we fucked, and you thought I wouldn’t wife you up?”
You frown, feeling stupid all over again. “Well, when you put it like that…yeah?”
Paige sighs. “Fuck. Look at my lawyer – you’d send dudes to jail left and fucking right ‘cause you jump to conclusions too early. Thank God you’re not going into criminal defense.”
You shove her away from you, feeling the embarrassment bloom on your cheeks. You can’t help but laugh as you say, “You’re an asshole.”
She guffaws, reaching for your hands, intertwining your fingers. “Says you! You ghosted me for a month and let me think I fucked us up. Jesus Christ.” She twists the ring on your finger mindlessly as she searches for the right words. “Okay, lemme be really fucking clear. I’m in love with you, too. Like, I’m fuckin’ crazy about you. There is nobody but you. You aren’t too much for me – I love you for you, no ifs, ands, buts, whys, hows, nothing. I know you thought you were protecting us by pushin’ me away, but you gotta let me make that choice, too. I want this with you, alright? Will you gimme that chance?”
Her words leave the two of you in silence. You can still hear the chirp of the crickets, the thrumming from the party indoors. You can feel the way her thumb brushes over your knuckles, the way her eyes bore into yours, patiently waiting for your decision. But distinctly, you can see the plea, the desperation for you to just give into what she knows the both of you are feeling. Your anxiety and constant overthinking never ruined the two of you. It may have set you back, but you and Paige found your way back to each other. Maybe you’re not a meteor, dangerously crashing into her and disintegrating on impact. Maybe the two of you are something simpler – the moon and the tide. She was never going to let you get hurt if only you’d give her the opportunity to show you that.
So, you take that leap – whether it’s off the diving board into the pool or the cliffside into beach waves, you don’t care. You know now that Paige is waiting for you at the surface. “I want this, too,” you affirm, watching the smile bloom on her face like springtime flowers, and you seal the deal by pressing your lips to hers. She responds eagerly, her arms tight around you. You loathe that it took the two of you this long, that it was your fault for not trusting Paige with your heart when she’s given you no real reason to doubt her; despite this, her lips taste like forgiveness and yours like atonement. In spite of everything, you made it here in the end, and it was worth it.
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can you do which ateez habit you would have picked up from being around them for too long?
I struggled with this more than I should have I’m sorry 😭😭😭😭 Happy reading!!!
Habits you pickup from Ateez
Synopsis: little habits you pick up from ateez
Pairing: ateez members x gn!reader, idol au
Genre: fluff
Word count: 2.4k
Warnings: none:)
masterlist
• Hongjoong
Falling asleep in random places
You never thought you'd pick up such a peculiar habit from Hongjoong but here you were, dozing off on the couch in his studio. It had become somewhat of a routine lately. Hongjoong often found himself working late into the night, composing music and writing lyrics, and you couldn't bear to leave him alone. So, you stayed up with him, keeping him company and offering moral support.
Tonight was no different. The studio was dimly lit, save for the soft glow of the computer screen where Hongjoong was tirelessly tinkering away. You sat beside him, occasionally offering words of encouragement or fetching him a snack to keep his energy up. But as the hours passed, fatigue started to weigh heavily on your eyelids.
"You okay Y/n?" a familiar voice chimed in, bringing you back from the brink of slumber.
You blinked a few times, trying to shake off the drowsiness. "Huh? Who? What?" you mumbled, rubbing your eyes.
Seonghwa chuckled softly and gestured towards you. "You fell asleep in a chair, I think you’re spending too much time with Hongjoong. You should get some real rest before you start falling asleep in random places, like him, too."
Glancing over at Hongjoong, you realized he was completely absorbed in his work, oblivious to the conversation happening around him. You laughed sheepishly, realizing Seonghwa was right. Lately, you had indeed found yourself dozing off in various places – the couch, the kitchen table, even leaning against the wall.
"It's just... I can't leave him alone when he's working so hard," you explained softly, a small smile playing on your lips.
Seonghwa's expression softened as he understood. "I know, and I'm sure Hongjoong appreciates it too. But you need to take care of yourself as well, okay? "
You nodded, grateful for Seonghwa's concern. As you settled back into the couch, you made a mental note to try and get more sleep, even if it meant leaving Hongjoong to his work occasionally. But for now, you allowed yourself to succumb to the comforting embrace of sleep, knowing that Hongjoong was just a few feet away.
• Seonghwa
Acting motherly towards the members
Seonghwa watched with a bemused smile as you flitted around the dorm, straightening pillows, picking up stray socks, and tidying up the kitchen. It was a sight he'd grown accustomed to – you, inadvertently taking on the role of the dorm mom, just like he did. It wasn't something you consciously did, but rather a habit you'd picked up from spending so much time around him and the other guys.
You had a thing for neatness and sometimes acted much like a mom in your friend group, but lately, you found yourself slipping into Seonghwa's shoes more often than not. It was something he found endearing and amusing, seeing you scold the other members for leaving their belongings strewn about or for forgetting to do their chores.
"Y/N, what are you doing?" Seonghwa asked, leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen.
You turned to him, a blushi tinting your cheeks, wondering just how long he had been watching you. "Oh, just tidying up a bit. It was a mess in here."
Seonghwa chuckled softly, crossing his arms over his chest. "You don’t need to do all that, you know"
You laughed, shaking your head. "I can't help it. You guys are like family to me, and I just want to take care of you."
The other members wandered into the kitchen, groaning as they saw you fussing over the cleanliness of the space.
"Come on, Y/N, we already have one Seonghwa," Yunho teased, flashing you a playful grin. "We don't need you turning into another one."
You rolled your eyes, but couldn't hide the smile tugging at your lips. "I'm just trying to help keep things organized around here. Someone has to do it."
Seonghwa wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. "We appreciate it, really. Just don't forget to take care of yourself too, okay?"
You nodded, leaning into his side. "Of course. But someone has to keep you guys in line."
The others laughed, knowing deep down that they were lucky to have both you and Seonghwa looking out for them – even if it meant enduring occasional scoldings for their messy habits.
• Yunho
Picking at or biting your lips
Yunho had always been the type to immerse himself completely in whatever task he was working on, often biting or touching his lips in concentration. You, on the other hand, had never noticed this about yourself until Yunho pointed it out one day.
You were sitting together at the studio, both lost in your respective work. You were so engrossed in what you were doing that you didn't even realize your hand had wandered up to your lips, fingers lightly touching and occasionally biting at them in a habit you had unknowingly picked up from Yunho.
"Y/N," Yunho's voice broke through your concentration, causing you to look up, startled. "Don’t do that," he said, nodding towards your lips.
Confused, you furrowed your brows. "Hmm? What do you mean?"
Yunho sighed, his expression turning slightly serious. "You keep biting your lips. You might hurt them if you're not careful."
You blinked, suddenly becoming aware of what you were doing. "Oh," you muttered, feeling a flush of embarrassment creep up your neck. "I didn't even realize I was doing that."
Yunho's lips twitched with amusement, but he quickly composed himself. "It's a bad habit. You should try to stop."
You couldn't help but feel a bit defensive. "Well, you do it too," you scoffed and pointed out.
Yunho's cheeks flushed slightly, and he looked away. "I... I do?"
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Yeah. Maybe we've just been spending too much time together," you teased.
Yunho's embarrassment was palpable now, and he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Maybe," he muttered, unable to meet your gaze.
But despite the awkwardness, there was a warmth in your chest knowing that even your unconscious habits were intertwined with his. It was just another reminder of how close the two of you had become, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for it.
• Yeosang
Clapping while laughing
You and Yeosang had spent such a long time together and over the course of it, you became attuned to each other's habits, quirks, and gestures without even realising it. One particular habit of Yeosang's that seemed to have rubbed off on you was the way he would clap his hands when he found something particularly amusing.
The way your hands would subconsciously come together and follow the rhythm of your laughter felt natural and neither of you actually noticed how a habit, once Yeosang’s, was now shared by you.
However, that was until one lazy afternoon when Yeosang excitedly showed you his phone, "Hey, check this out," he said with a grin, pushing it towards your face.
Curious, you glanced at the screen, finding yourself staring at a Twitter thread created by an ATINY. The thread was a compilation of gifs and videos, side by side, showing you and Yeosang laughing together. What caught your attention, however, was the caption accompanying the thread: "Am I the only one who noticed that Y/N and Yeosang have the same adorable habit of clapping while laughing? #YeoY/N."
"Oh my god they’re adorable."
"They look like cute little seals when they're laughing together, it's like they're synchronised."
You couldn't help but smile and giggle as you scrolled through the thread, amused by how certain things never went unnoticed by their fans, even if you yourselves were oblivious.
Yeosang glanced over at you, his expression softening. "I guess we really do spend too much time together, huh?"
You chuckled, leaning closer to him. "Maybe. But I wouldn't have it any other way."
• San
Covering your mouth while laughing
It was just one of those habits you picked up without even realising it – covering your face while laughing. It was something you'd seen San do countless times, his hand rising instinctively to his mouth as his laughter bubbled up. Maybe it was the contagiousness of his joy, or perhaps it was the familiarity that made you do it, but whatever the reason, you found yourself unconsciously mimicking his actions more and more as time went on.
You didn't think much of it, not until one fateful day when you and San were doing a live stream together. The comments were flooding in, a flurry of emojis and supportive messages from fans all over the world. Amidst the sea of text, one comment stood out:
"OMG, look how they laugh the same! 😍 SanYn are the cutest! 💕"
Curious, you glanced at the screen, only to see San's eyes widen in realisation. He turned to you, a playful grin spreading across his face. "Looks like we've been caught," he teased, nudging you lightly.
You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment, but there was also a warmth spreading through you, a sense of fondness at the thought of sharing such a small, intimate detail with San. "Guess we spend too much time together," you joked back, unable to suppress a smile.
But as the live stream continued, you couldn't help but notice how often you and San found yourselves laughing, your hands rising simultaneously to cover your mouths. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes about the bond you shared, the way you seemed to sync up without even trying.
After the stream ended, you leaned in to press a gentle kiss to San’s cheek, you couldn't help but giggle at how much these little quirks affected you, maybe making life more comfortable along the way.
• Mingi
Making the 🥺 face
To the people outside, Mingi seemed to be very intimidating, with his deep voice and built 6ft stature but inside the comfort of his he couldn't be more different. He knew he was cute and he knew how to use it against people. One quick look sent your way with his puppy eyes and pouty lips and you would melt, at some point this habit of his rubbed off on you.
The members weren’t safe from it either, like when Seonghwa had just finished making a delicious batch of ramen for himself. The aroma wafted through the room, teasing your senses and making your stomach growl loudly. You and Mingi couldn't help but stare at the steaming bowl with longing eyes.
"Seonghwa hyung, that smells amazing," Mingi exclaimed, his eyes widening with hunger.
You nodded enthusiastically, finding yourself unintentionally mirroring Mingi's expression, your lips slightly pouting like the 🥺 emoji.
Seonghwa chuckled at your antics, shaking his head. "Sorry guys, this is just for me. I only made enough for one."
"But hyung, we're starving!" Mingi whined, his voice tinged with desperation.
You glanced at Seonghwa, your eyes pleading as you continued to unknowingly imitate Mingi's puppy-dog expression.
Seonghwa sighed, feeling the pressure of your combined adorable stares. "Oh no, I have to deal with two Mingis now, don't I?"
You and Mingi exchanged a glance before bursting into giggles, realising your unintentional synchronisation. Seonghwa couldn't help but laugh along with you.
"Fine, fine," Seonghwa relented, dividing the ramen between the three of you. "But next time, make your own!"
• Wooyoung
Smacking people while laughing
You couldn't help but laugh at the way Wooyoung told a recount of the recent Wanteez episode the boys shot, adding his own commentary in between. He always had a way of making you laugh wholeheartedly, even when you fought he would be the one to apologise first and crack a joke to make you smile. However, what you didn't realise was that you had picked up one of his habits along the way.
In the midst of your laughter, your hand instinctively swung out and smacked San's thigh, eliciting a surprised yelp from him. It wasn't until he looked at you with a mix of amusement and slight irritation that you realised what you had done.
"Oops, sorry, San!" you apologised, cheeks flushing with embarrassment as you tried to suppress your laughter.
San rubbed his thigh, shooting you a mock glare. "I already have to take abuse from Wooyoung, and now you're doing it too?"
You couldn't help but giggle at his playful complaint, but Wooyoung nudged you with a grin. "Looks like my habits are rubbing off on you, huh?"
You chuckled, realising how similar you two acted these days. "I guess so. Sorry, San, I’ll try not to do that but I can’t make any promises." You winked at him.
San shook his head and scoffed at your mocking, a smile breaking through his faux irritation. "Ahh so much I have to go through,"
You and Wooyoung giggled at his words, knowing how much he loved you both the same, with the occasional physical abuse of course.
• Jongho
Scrunching your nose while smiling/laughing
As you sat on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone, you stumbled upon a video compilation titled "JongYn Couple Moments" ,obviously your curiosity got the better of you and you clicked on it, not fully knowing what to expect. What unfolded on the screen was definitely not what you were expecting, it sent a sudden blush creeping up your cheeks.
The video was a compilation of moments featuring you and Jongho, through the fans’ eyes, complete with dramatic commentary about how cute you two were together. Especially about the way your noses scrunched and crinkles formed around your eyes as you both laughed, with your faces making the same endearing expression.
You couldn't help but be amused as you watched, realising that you had subconsciously copied Jongho's habit of scrunching his nose when he smiled.
Suddenly, you felt a presence beside you. Glancing over, you found Jongho peering over your shoulder, his eyes fixated on the screen. As he watched the video, a wide grin spread across his face, small giggles leaving his lips.
"Wow, we really do look alike sometimes," Jongho remarked, amusement dancing in his eyes.
You nodded, still giggling at the sight. "I never realized I picked up on your habit."
"It's adorable," Jongho said, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your cheek. "I guess I've rubbed off on you, huh?"
You chuckled, leaning into his touch. "Looks like it. But hey, I don't mind sharing a few habits with you."
© alxtiny . Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost, or use my works on any platform in any way.
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