#I need to figure out how to make this stuff more concise
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thewardenisonthecase · 8 days ago
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About the Lucanis Romance
(this is a long ass post ok so bear with me)
So I've been meaning to adress some of the complaints/criticisms of Lucanis's romance and I was thinking on how to do it and I finally figured it out. While I don't like making comparisons because I think they're somewhat unfair, but this time, I'm gonna do it to show why I have some many complaints about the Lucanis romance.
And I'm gonna compare it to Fenris's romance arc in DA2. The main reason for that is that 1) they're both very troubled man who brood and went through A Lot tm and 2) considering DA2 also doesn't allow you to just talk to the companions whenever and doesn't have a spam kiss button and is a shorter game, it feels the fairest comparison.
'Lack of reactivity when it comes to the flirting dialogue options'
One of the biggest complaints when it comes to Lucanis romance is his lack of reaction to the flirting dialogue lines. I've seen the argument that 'oh but he's awakward, he doesn't know how to react'. I'm not the biggest fan of this because there are ways to better portray a character being bad with flirting than having 0 reaction.
During Switch and Bait, the quest where Fenris is recruited, you can flirt with him. And how does he react? He gives a nervous laugh, because he's not used to do. But that conveys that he listened to the flirt line and is responding to it, even if he doesn't actually say anything. There are other moments where his reaction is looking away, smirking, and a few times he does flirt back.
Even if small, I never felt that Fenris wasn't reacting to what was being said. Meanwhile, Lucanis has a painful moment where Rook tells him "I'm here" and he, with the straightest face ever, responds with "We need to talk about Ilario". And this is not the only time where it feels like there was no response to the flirting, its just the most egregious of them.
So, while I can understand what people mean by the fact that he's awkward, there are better ways to portray this. It's important to remember that this is a video game, which is an interactive media, and on top of that, it's an RPG. The player HAS to feel like what they're doing matters, because if it doesn't, it's easiert to just read a book.
'Not enough romance scenes'
I think this is a criticism that has been misunderstood by many people. Romance scenes do not mean just sex. I'm asexual, the sex scenes are the thing that least matter to me. Like, Fenris only has 1 sex scenes and it's a fade to black where he immediatly dumps Hawke after, so clearly, sex is not what I care about.
What does matter are scenes that establish a connection between the two character.
And while Lucanis has them, and I think they're great (the coffee scene and the almost kiss one are the highlights for me), due to the way these scenes are spread out, it feels like there's something missing.
DA2 also doesn't have a shitton of romance scenes, and considering the fact that Fenris breaks up with Hawke halfway through, its understandable. But the difference is that DA2 is a much shorter game than Veilguard, or, at the very least, Act 2 of DA2 is waaaay more concise than Act 2 of Veilguard, which is where most of the romance is happening.
That means that, even if there aren't that many romance scenes, they are better splayed out, so you don't feel like you're missing stuff. Another thing that I think happens is that you can really dive in and just ask the companion a lot of things.
Take Fenris's Questioning Beliefs quest in Act 2, which is a really important scene for the romance. Much like veilguard, its a scene that doesn't begin as a romance one but if you have been picking the flirting options, it can turn into Fenris and Hawke discussing about being intimate in the future. And in this scene, Fenris confesses to not having been with anyone in long, and doesn't remember if he actually ever has been with anyone.
This can be made so much longer by the fact that Hawke can ask multiple follow up questions from there, and that helps in both creating a connection between the two and also establishing the romance. Even if they don't do anything then, Fenris will say 'another time'.
And this happens in the act 3 version of Questioning Beliefs, which has the culmination of Fenris's and Hawke's romance, where their relationship is rekindled. And I think they do what Veilguard should have done: they let the player adress Fenris leaving Hawke.
One thing that bothered me, and that other people have brought up is that after Lucanis's runs away from the almost kiss, it's never adressed again. And I think if they could have had a moment where Rook and Lucanis talk about this, it could have been great to understand Lucanis and his history with relationships, how he feels internally about what's going on with them, heck maybe even apologize. Just something to feel that that wasn't a random scene, that was something important that happened.
Also, because you can interrogate Fenris so much in those scenes, the feeling that he was yearning for Hawke but all his trauma was stopping him felt more natural/real/explicit. I remember getting to the endgame portion of Veilguard and Lucanis pulling out the 'when i wanted to be with you but was scared' and thinking this is a lovely sentiment but why it hasn't been shown before? Because yes, the almost kiss is a good way to establish this, but if it had been actually delved in, that feeling could have been made more explicit.
I also wanted to add that, while the gift giving in DA2 is nowhere near the mechanic it was in DAO, it still helped with establishing that connection, and it gave even more chances for characters to flirt, and if DATV had used this opportunity, it could have helped a lot, instead of just having the character go "for me? thanks"
'Banter'
I'm gonna adress two issues here at once. The first is Neve.
Out of the gate, hating on Neve just because she flirts with Lucanis and gets with him if you don't romance either of them is weird, and at the very least, sexist.
So, what I want to talk about is that if you're romancing either of them, for some reason, their flirting banters still trigger and that can be uncomfortable. It sure is weird to be romancing a character and have them still flirt with another, because it comes across as 'oh maybe the choice to romance them doesn't change much' which isn't good for an RPG.
DA2 also has a couple that flirts through banter and gets together if Hawke doesn't romance them, and those are Isabela and Fenris. The difference is that, if you romance either of them, those flirty lines of banter do not trigger. At all. So much so I had no idea they got together because I've only romanced Fenris so far in DA2, so i never even knew of these banters until I looked at the wiki.
So, truly, lucanis and neve getting together is fine (i think neve should have been with bellara but that's another story) but these flirting line should not trigger if either of them are being romanced by Rook.
Still on the topic of banter, maybe I was unlucky and didn't get it to trigger often, but I felt as if, even though everyone was living together, the fact that Rook and Lucanis were in a relationship was not really ever addressed by anyone else? Like, I know these banters exist because I've seen them online, but I feel like there were just too little of them?
In comparison, the DA2 characters have a LOT to say about Hawke's choice of partner (and again, I'm focusing on Fenris here). Merrill adresses the romance through banter ('you make sad puppy eyes whenever Hawke looks away'), Varric, Isabela and Anders have specific scenes where they talk to Hawke about Fenris and give their opinions on the two of them together. Heck, in Aveline's quest where she gets with Donnic, she can briefly mention the two of them. And these all of them also have banter in which they adress the romance.
And its this sort of thing that really helps filling in the gaps of the romance scenes but also showing that these characters know what is happening. And the DA2 gang doesn't even live together!
And for Lucanis in specific, if there always was going to be less scenes with him due to how he is a person, having a few scenes where the other companions talk to Rook about it would have helped bridge that gap, in my opnion. Again, considering you can't directly talk to this characters (as in, click on them and start a dialogue), this would have been a nice touch.
And now a very personal complait of mine
'Kisses and the Commit to Romance scene'
While I stated at the very begging that I don't care about sex scenes, that is another story when it comes to kissing scenes, and I'm sorry, but it's WILD to put the ONLY kissing scene in the romance AT THE ENDGAME PORTION OF THE GAME.
Give it or take, kissing is an intimate act and it can be used, in my opinion, to show that a character is comfortable with that sort of physical touch. And for a character like Lucanis, who is just so troubled, maybe one kiss before the grand finale would have been really fucking welcomed. In fact, I know the scene they could have added that - the one in the café after Ilario is taken down.
It could have been a short, sweet kiss, that was just a follow up to the almost kiss scene. Just something to hammer in more that these characters are together.
Because let me tell you, it is not a good sign when people say they thought the game was bugged after the dessert scene.
That scene, while lovely on its own, does a bad job of making it clear that yeah, these characters are dating now, and that's due to the fact that that is not something really said out loud.
I'm rewatching this scene as I type this out and at no point, is it made clear through dialogue that Rook and Lucanis are agreeing to being together. In fact, Lucanis says that what he's doing is not enough, and Rook disagreed with the sentiment and says they're easily bribed. That's it.
Meanwhile, in DA2, not only in act 2, do Fenris and Hawke lowkey make plans about being intimate at a later date, and Fenris explicitly says he wants Hawke, but in act 3, he once again makes it clear that he wants to be with Hawke, and I feel like this only really happens with Lucanis at the endgame portion of the game.
This is all to say that: The Lucanis romance is lacking, and that Bioware has done something like this before and they did a better job then than now.
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neil-gaiman · 2 years ago
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Hello Neil. I'm a little nervous writing this, but I'm an aspiring comic book writer/artist in high school and I was looking for some guidance on the writing side, and I figured you'd be the best to come to as I love what you've done with Batman, Superman, and Green Lantern. I'd really love if you could help me here.
Y'see, Mr. Gaiman, I've started outlining the plot, but I can't come up with ways to make it self contained. I find myself drawing things out too far, to the point where it feels agonizing to write. How could I make my stories more concise while still including things such as exposition, especially in the case of a one-shot comic?
Also, I find myself with a lack of creativity when I try to build a story around a theme/message. It feels limiting, but I also feel like it's needed. Is it necessary to have a theme before anything else at all? If so, how can I implement it without limiting myself?
I think that's the end of my questions, thank you so much for your help, Mr. Gaiman
A story is the best thing to have. Themes turn up second, and aren't on the list of things to worry about.
Worry about your characters, and what they want. Worry about surprising your audience and not showing them something they've seen a hundred times before. Worry about working out how to end in a satisfying way.
In comics it's a very good idea to know how many pages long your story is, then to write a note for yourself of what happens on each page. (It doesn't have to be precise. "They argue." "Jackie turns up with the rabbit ears" or even "not sure. Stuff happens". )
But the most important thing of all is to do it. You may have to write hundreds of pages to get good. So start now.
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nenelonomh · 6 months ago
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organization 101
organization is about how we gather stimuli in our environment to complete tasks quickly and more effectively. it's about arranging our surroundings, providing order, and structuring items and activities around us.
this topic can be applied in so many instances - including physical spaces, digital files, schedules, and mental clarity.
staying organized offers several benefits:
★ when you're organized, you waste less time searching for things or figuring out what to do next. this efficiency leads to increased productivity
★ clutter and chaos can contribute to stress. an organized environment promotes a sense of calm and control.
★ organization helps you allocate time effectively. you can prioritize tasks and allocate resources efficiently.
★ a clutter-free workspace (or living space) allows you to concentrate better on the task at hand.
★ organized spaces encourage healthier habits, such as regular exercise, balanced meals, and adequate rest.
but how can you stay organized?
★ start with one area of focus (e.g. closet, desk, documents, ...) and gradually expand. focusing on one area allows you to see tangible progress, and as you declutter or organize, you'll build momentum to tackle other spaces.
trying to organize everything at once can be overwhelming. by narrowing your focus, you can prevent feeling swamped. concentrating on a specific area also allows you to learn effective strategies,, which you can apply to other parts of your life!
★ keep a to-do list. you can use a planner or digital tools to track tasks - and prioritize and sort tasks by urgency. write things down promptly to avoid forgetting them.
by freeing your mind from trying to remember all of your tasks, this mental offloading allows you to focus on the present moment. you can also assign urgency and importance, ensuring you will tackle what matters most.
★ give everything a home. clutter happens when items lack designated spaces. organize your physical and digital spaces intentionally.
★ once organized, maintain order consistently by building habits and systems. regularly review and adjust your systems when needed.
maintaining daily habits can significantly contribute to staying organized.
digital files
personally, the biggest issue i have with organization is building (and maintaining) a good system for digital files. it is crucial for me to learn how to organize these well, however, as a digital creator.
here is the process:
★ create a folder structure,, and design a clear hierarchy of folders that reflect your workflow. organize files logically based on projects, departments, dates, or file types.
at the moment i sort my files as content home < links, content plan, instagram, pinterest, tumblr, youtube < scheduling, post ideas
however, sometimes i find myself with documents that don't fit any of these sections. my plan for the future is to reorganize this to be the most effective it can.
★ use descriptive file names,, and name files clearly and concisely. include relevant keywords to make searching easier
★ consider using tags to categorize files across multiple dimensions. tags enhance searchability and allow flexible organization.
this is something that i am looking to employ!
★ utilize cloud services like google drive or dropbox for easy access from anywhere.
i will forever be a notion girl,, even though it is not quite a cloud service, it allows me a similar experience.
★ make decluttering a routine. delete duplicate or unnecessary files.
★ pin essential folders to your sidebar for quick access.
physical decluttering
writing this, i was reminded of the (horrid) bedrotting trend, especially those videos where people would show their rooms with shit everywhere and mould growing on stuff. i'm aware that some people find it super hard to maintain organization or declutter - hoarding is a very real issue.
the benefits of staying organized were previously mentioned, but decluttering specifically has its own little set of positives. this includes reduced stress, improved focus, enhanced productivity, and more positive overall wellbeing.
here are some essential tips if you are struggling to get started:
choose a small area or category to begin decluttering. set a timer (15-30 minutes) and sort items in that area into 'keep', 'donate', 'trash', or 'unsure' piles.
you could also attempt a room-by-room approach, by tackling one room at a time. focus on completing each room fully before moving on to the next.
try to organize your belongings into categories (keep, donate, sell, discard) to make decisions easier.
remember - progress comes from consistent effort, and small steps lead to a clutter-free space.
further reading
i hope today's post was helpful!
as for further reading, check out these sites: ★ How to Declutter Your Home: 6 Best Room-by-Room Methods (thespruce.com) ★ First Steps to Decluttering - Understanding the Clutter - Being Minimalist ★ Productivity, Organization & Personal-Development | 101 Planners ★ Executive Functioning Skills 101: Organization | Life Skills Advocate ★ How to Be Organized - 10+ Habits - Organized 31 ★ How to Be More Organized & Productive | 10 Habits for Life Organization (youtube.com) ★ How to Be More Organized (verywellmind.com) ★ How to Organize Your Digital Files | Reviews by Wirecutter (nytimes.com) ★ Master How to Organize Digital File Management (riverfy.com)
❤️ nene
image source: pinterest
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sfstranslations · 7 months ago
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how hard(?) would you say it is to translate? Ive been kinda curious about that, like does anything get lost in translation/ just not make that much sense without knowing the og language? or anything like that? 🤔
Hm, maybe 7 or 8 on a scale of 10? Though it can easily go higher at times, haha. (Always when Sung Hyunjae is in a scene because his name is a misspelling and it pisses me off.* This is a joke. Only half, though.) Basic word-by-word dictionary lookup is simple, which is why machine translators can do it well enough. But then you have to string all of it together in a sentence where you:
figure out and find a way to convey any difference in connotation between this specific chosen word and other words that mean the same thing (think the connotations of "regal" VS "royal" in English), and
do the same as above, but on a sentence-wide level translating the nuance of a particular grammar/sentence structure (thousand and one sentence endings in Korean, I swear -_-), and
make sure distinct character voices are retained or translated from the original Korean (think Song Taewon's stiff formality VS Han Yoojin's more casual speech VS Sung Hyunjae's middle-aged rich guy-type speech), and
make sure this sentence flows with the overall paragraph/chapter.
All those priorities have to be juggled throughout the chapter and add up to make it a fairly hard task. It definitely gets easier with practice once you're more familiar with the language (especially the nuance/connotation stuff), though, and I did get lucky in that my native language shares some aspects with Korean so the grammar is easier to intuitively grasp. Of course, I'm still learning, so I do have times I need to call in more experienced speakers for help.
(I definitely wouldn't say I'm good with the language period. Recently I've tentatively picked up a new novel—people following my personal blog will know which one—and it turns out I'm familiar with the way Geunseo talks and familiar with the vocabulary typical to dungeon fantasy novels, but kind of. Majorly hopeless when it comes to other stuff. The phrasing is juuust off enough that I keep getting tripped up and taking thrice as long to understand what's being said.)
There's definitely stuff that wouldn't make sense in English—certain idioms, cultural stuff, and all that, but that's why I try to localize wherever possible and add footnotes with relevant info/links if not. And there is stuff that gets lost in translation—you can look at the chapter titles from 302–307 for an example of that, where the joke is much more immediately obvious in Korean but had to be translated differently as chapter title VS in-chapter text messages and lost the clear parallel. I also remember being grumpy back during the virtual reality dungeon arc because Yoohyun would use 네놈 (ne-nom but typically pronounced ni-nom, a derogatory way to say "you", LMAO) towards Sigma and there was no concise way to get that across in English except having him be aggressive and direct. Especially since he isn't the type to swear by word of god, so I couldn't have him addressing him with "asshole" or "jerk" to convey it.
TL;DR: Fairly hard to translate, but gets easier with time, and there is stuff that's lost or difficult to understand, but I do what I can to make it understandable in English!
--
* Sung Hyunjae uses "ae" at the end, but that implies it's 성현재, which is wrong—the correct spelling is 성현제, which should be "Sung Hyunje". (If you wanted to go the full Revised Romanization route, it'd be Seong Hyeonje, but I've weathered my share of name changes and that's a step too far even for me.) I've been meaning to make a poll about changing it like with the Lauchitas spelling, but I keep forgetting.
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datapacks · 1 month ago
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i agree that mojang's insistence on uniqueness is not only weird, but also it makes every new feature feel like "oh hey, we wanted to add a new biome but it had to be unique enough for it to get added, so here's a whole new game mechanic we only got made through a blood sacrifice" i think the pale garden is *close* to a reasonable balance, but the fact it doesn't just Exist and instead requires a whole conference about what's new and unique about it makes it fit that precedent of "new things need to be NEW new" but also if the pale garden had just been a new biome with no new mobs or mechanics, with a unique grass and foliage colors people might would've complained about it being underwhelming
i think something that could make it feel a bit less like "this is a mod someone had an idea for that's completely self contained" would be making the mechanics more universal, like if we got a few different resin types (like an earthy green one in the jungle biome), or like if the hanging moss could generate in other forest biomes like how spanish moss isn't just confined to small areas. the new mechanics don't Need to feel isolated, but the way they're getting implemented makes it feel like they're just adding stuff for the sake of adding stuff and not considering the rest of the game *despite* saying they want to go back and revisit old things... it's so strange!
Yeah like they keep saying they always try to fit every feature into every pre-existing feature and that's "why updates take so long even when they seem to add so little" then you look at their actual development pipeline and 80% of what they show as examples is just texture tweaks. Idk I have a lot of scrambled thoughts on all of this I'll figure out how to word it more concisely later.
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art · 2 years ago
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Creator Spotlight: @kevinbparry
Kevin Parry is a stop-motion animator and visual effects artist in Toronto, Canada, who creates magical and mind-bending content for brands. Prior to working in social media full-time, he animated a number of stop-motion feature films at Portland-based LAIKA.
Check out our interview with Kevin below!
How did you get your start in stop motion and animation in general?
I was always very interested in moviemaking (monster makeup and visual effects), and that led to me studying animation in college, where I specialized in stop-motion.
How has technology changed the way you approach your work?
The shift to shorter content through social media feeds has made me approach storytelling in a more concise way. When I first started my career, ‘short form’ meant a story maybe 4 minutes in length. Now, I make videos that are as short as 4 seconds!
Over the years as an animator, who/what were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?
I’m a big fan of directors and artists who have a bit more texture to their work - blending old-school, handcrafted techniques with modern technology. Filmmakers like Michel Gondry and Wes Anderson. And, of course, magicians! The surprise and delight of magic is something I try to capture in my work.
If there is one thing you want your audience to remember about your work, what would it be?
That I left them feeling stumped and curious about how I made it! It’s the best feeling when someone tells me they watched my video a dozen times and still can’t figure it out.
As we’re wrapping up with the year, what is one thing you learnt about yourself as a creator in 2022? Any goals for 2023?
This year, I’ve been focusing on making my work less polished. Meaning ditching green screens and doing a lot more of my stop-motion and visual effects in camera. It’s a bit of a battle with the perfectionist in me, but I think my work can have a lot more charm to it if I embrace mistakes and the rougher edges.
How did you transition from working for a company to working freelance?
I was working on stop-motion animated feature films at LAIKA and then eventually left to pursue social media full-time. There were a few years of overlap where I built up an audience and had already started to get offers from companies before finally making the leap. I’m thankful for all the years spent doing studio work because it prepared me for the business side of freelance—stuff like pitching concepts and understanding when work needs to serve the client and not myself.
Do you have any tips for creators out there looking to make the same move?
My two tips are:
Be as unique as possible. You want to give companies a reason to come to you, and not someone else.
Find a balance in your work between Hollywood and homemade. You want it to be professional enough that companies trust you with their brand but approachable enough that it blends in well on social media.
Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?
To be honest, I’m new to Tumblr! I signed up a few weeks ago and have just begun to explore the fantastic content. If people can leave a comment with who I should check out, that would be fantastic!
Thank you for stopping by, Kevin! Be sure to check out more of their work over at @kevinbparry, and drop a comment below with who Kevin should check out on Tumblr!
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princess-of-the-corner · 1 month ago
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Ok, this is mostly random, but I had the thought, and it wouldn’t leave me alone.
Hatsume Mei reads to me as someone who didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. Like. Maybe she wasn’t bullied or picked on, but she was Someone who had a very specific, niche interest, not to mention being INSANELY SMART, so she feels out of touch with other kids. Other kids want to talk about Power Rangers or Pokémon, and Hatsume was busy figuring out how to make a working robot-Zord or how to make a fuel efficient car. Again, no one was necessarily MEAN to her, but they didn’t often engage with her, because she was so “out there” for a bunch of average little kids. Blunt, lightning fast, unapologetic about her smarts, who was six or seven (or seventy) steps ahead of everybody else. Just. Someone who everybody thought was weird, and eventually Hatsume kind of shrugged her shoulders and just did her own thing. Who needs friends when there’s INVENTING to be done??
And I just got this crystal clear image of, after the Sports Festival, Iida goes to Hatsume to talk about their match. And Hatsume is all prepared to deal with annoyance, a lecture (which she’s going to ignore, thank you), but Iida … apologizes? Sort of? Like, he isn’t exactly HAPPY she turned their match into an ad for her inventions, but he acknowledges that for all that the Sports Festival HAS sections for Support, Buisness, and Gen Ed students (or it should?), most of the focus IS on the Hero Course kids, so her competing and turning the whole thing into an ad was more likely to get her attention than if she just set up a booth with the other Support kids. Like, again, he isn’t happy about it, but he understands, and says regardless, his attitude towards her was uncalled for. And he did think some of her stuff was neat!
Hatsume … Isn’t exactly sure how to take that, so focuses on the part of his statement she DOES know how to handle. SOME of them were neat? Which ones? Which did he not like? Why? Did it interfere his Quirk? Was the sizing wrong?
Iida seems a bit startled, but answers all her questions, clearly and concisely. They actually spend a LOT of time talking about it, Iida doesn’t even seem to mind when Hatsume jumps to other ideas, perfectly content to be her sounding board. In the end, Hatsume has a bunch of feedback, and plenty of new ideas! She excitedly tells Iida he should drop back in soon, she’ll show him the prototypes! Iida promises he will and leaves … and Hatsume expects that to be it. Like, that was a perfectly friendly interaction, she was happy about it, but she cheerfully expects it to be a one time thing - like a “wow, that was a nice surprise! Welp, back to it!” sort of thing. It isn’t conscious, but she thought he was mostly humouring her.
So, she’s surprised when he DOES turn up again. When he remembers her ideas, and wants to know how they’re going. When he asks intelligent questions, and tries to understand. When he (tentatively) asks about improvements to his own costume. When he starts recommending her to his friends. When THEY also start turning up repeatedly, sometimes for Support stuff, but also just to talk. When they invite her to stuff just … because.
It’s a couple months later, with a bunch of phone numbers, a couple sleepovers, multiple hang out invites, and being in at least six different group chats. It’s while talking to Iida about changing his helmet - a basic HUD, that’s all she’s suggesting! It would make SUCH a difference - that she realizes, oh. Oh, this-. This is friendship, isn’t it? These people are my friends.
(idk, but the thought wouldn’t leave me alone. At the very least, that’s how I see her and Iida start talking)
-
Yes! Yes yes yes!
I might have to shuffle the Timelines because outside of one mention where he  was kinda coping via organizing Iida‘s having a Bad Time™ post-Sports Festival so he’d be very unfocused and would swing back around to talking to her post-Stain Incident like ‘hey I should’ve come talk before but-��� and she’s like ‘dude it’s cool literally everyone knows your brother almost died not gonna be mad talking to a random girl from school’ is bumped low on the priority list’.
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pjisskullourful · 6 months ago
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K̲̅e̲̅e̲̅p̲̅i̲̅n̲̅g̲̅ S̲̅e̲̅c̲̅r̲̅e̲̅t̲̅s̲̅
🎀 Damiano × reader
NSFW 🔥 smutathon, adults doing adult stuff
° Damiano David/female reader insert
° you gotta know I need it, tired of losing by Keeping Secrets ||| things change between you & your longtime friend damiano when he makes a cheeky comment at a party, you cant help reading into it [based dec 2020, lets not talk about the pandemic]
wordcount::. 19,684
° commissioned by lore (@lifeofa-fangirl) 💋 i have thanked you profusely& i will continue to thank you. thanks for sticking with me through this extended process& for believing in me when i didnt believe for myself [commissions are temporarily closed]
° lyrics stolen from madison rose & kandy
° [ITA:] bella: pretty
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Shooting stars crash, crack and collide In the shadows we come alive Rub your skin on my skin to ignite Burn it down baby, let’s play with fire
“This guy!” Rachel exclaimed, instantly louder than what you had been saying to Damiano. “This is exactly the guy that I’ve been waiting to see.”
You had heard similar things said to him during the couple of hours since arriving at Taren’s Christmas party. You wondered if it was tiring for him, having so many people paying him attention and expecting it back. In the two years that you had known him, he had been gradually becoming more in demand, gaining more-and-more momentum with his band. The level of fame he had achieved had changed how people in your group of friends saw him. Not everyone, but enough that you had noticed.
The only thing that it had changed for you was how much time you got to spend with him - success meant a very full schedule. But he was still the same guy to you. He was the guy that you had almost shared a kiss with on four different occasions. He was the friend that loved superhero movies just as much as you, the two of you going to the cinema whenever something new came out. He was the one guaranteed to laugh at your jokes, when others seemed to not hear you.
Your little crush on him was your secret and to remain as such, because you couldn’t compromise the solid friendship that you had. Hours spent together laughing, unprompted text messages of support, all of those things were just as good as being his girlfriend - or so you told yourself.
You knew how to handle your friendship with him (you’d had a lot of time to practise that). A relationship was a swift way to surrender any control. And you needed control, you clung to it, because you saw how badly things went when you didn’t have it.
Before turning to the enthusiastic Rachel, he made a subtle gesture to you. Your shared code for put a pin in it. He wanted to hear the end of your rant about your job.
Rachel hugged each of you in turn, but it was only a one-arm embrace. Her other arm was occupied by a sizable plastic container, the contents concealed by wrapping paper. You exchanged the polite pleasantries.
“You were waiting to see me?” He asked.
“Rum balls.” She said concisely.
“What did she just call you?” You joked, seeing the confusion on his face. That was a feeling you were currently sharing.
She removed the lid from the container and held it out so you could each look inside. There was a collection of the brown and white bite-sized treats. You recognised them as something of a Christmas tradition, but you sensed there was more context eluding you.
But Damiano appeared to have figured out what was going on. “Right, rum balls.”
“Last year when I made them, he complained.” She started to explain to you. “He said I hadn’t used enough rum, so they weren’t rum balls, they were just ‘sweet balls’.”
You theatrically rolled your eyes. “You would say sweet balls, wouldn’t you? You’re always bringing balls up. And in public, too? Where’s your sense of decency?”
He played along, furrowing his brow. “Decen-... who?”
“Yeah, maybe there’s still time to add that to your wishlist for Santa.” You said.
“I called them sweet. I didn’t say they were gross, or anything.” He told her. “I was just expecting more of that rum flavour.”
She held the container closer to the two of you. “That’s why I did them differently this year. There’s definitely enough rum in these.”
Neither you nor he immediately moved to pick up one of the treats. It was a well-shared fact that Rachel wasn’t a good cook. Not due to lack of trying or ambition. But the little hobby she pursued more often than not produced results that didn’t taste as she hoped. She couldn’t get the heat of the oven perfect, or she had to substitute an ingredient with something not mentioned in the recipe. She always found a way to make chicken dry - no matter how she prepared it, or what she paired it with. At group dinners, her dish was usually the only one with leftovers.
But she always tried again. She took the good-natured teasing for what it was, proceeding forward with the goal of one day proving everyone wrong. Victoria played her ‘fussy eater’ card to avoid trying Rachel’s creations. But she could typically get some friends to eat the food out of pity.
“So, you found a new recipe to follow this year?” You asked, your hands kept at your sides as Damiano tentatively plucked one out.
“No, the same recipe. I just did my little alterations, working off of his constructive feedback.” She said, seemingly filled with optimism and pride.
Even though you were feeling uncertain, you knew that you didn’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings. You picked up a coconut-covered sphere as he was slowly raising his to his mouth.
“Mmn.” He was enthusing as soon as the dessert touched his tongue. He smiled as he began to chew. “It’s good.”
She perked up onto her tiptoes. “Better than last year?”
“Yeah, I think-...” His swallow was slow, almost as if it required extra effort. You hesitated from eating yours, watching as his eyes grew wide. “Oh, yep, there’s- there’s the rum. That’s more rum than last year, for sure.”
You were quickly understanding his choice of words, tasting rum, and then even more rum with every bite. You felt the texture of the shredded coconut, but you couldn’t taste its sweet flavour. Likewise the taste of the cocoa had been drowned out. The tang of the alcohol filled your mouth, overpowering to a degree you hadn’t been expecting.
It was like swallowing the contents of a shot glass - and you had never been a fan of shots. The dry flavour seemed to coat your throat. But you forced a smile onto your face, stifling your dislike of this taste as she looked for your reaction. She genuinely wanted to feel like she had done a good job and you couldn’t stand the thought of taking that from her.
“Ooh, yeah. That’s very rum-y. I think he’ll have to try harder to find something to complain about with these.” You said before suddenly spurting through some small coughs. You kept smiling as you reached for your glass of water. “Sorry, the coconut just tickled my throat a little.”
“Ray.” Taren said, getting her attention. “Come on, Keith is waiting to hear how terribly that mechanic ripped you off.”
“Right, let me-”
Before she could begin to turn away, Damiano surprised her (and you) as he grabbed for the container of rum balls. “Leave these here with us, will you? I don’t think I’m finished with just one and I’m lazy so I want them closeby.”
“Yeah, I was definitely planning on having more.” You lied.
She relented, transferring the food to his hands. She appeared pleased as she walked away with Taren, heading to a different area of the expansive house. You greedily gulped down more water, wanting to rinse the taste from your mouth. He quit smiling as Rachel left from your current view.
“What’s your plan, dude?” You asked. “Because I have no intentions of helping you eat those. I already feel like I’m over the legal limit, and that’s from one.”
He wasn’t eating more as he turned to you. “I had to do something to keep her from inflicting these on anybody else. And what if she offered them to someone more blunt than us? That could ruin the whole party for her- that’s not really in the spirit of the happiest season.”
This was one of the qualities that made Damiano a great friend: he wanted everyone to get a win. He was always there when somebody needed a cheerleader, boosting them and encouraging them forward so passionately.
“You’re very sweet.” You said.
“As sweet as balls?” He asked with one of his trademark mischievous grins.
You acted as if you hadn’t heard his joke, or noticed how handsome his smile was. “But you’re not gonna get me to eat those.”
“I think I could.” He said. “Come with me for a second.”
You didn’t resist, even though you had no idea what he was leading you to. It could result in trouble, his plans had ended that way more than once.
He carried the dessert with him, heading inside from the patio. You followed along, taken into the spacious basement. This was set up as something of a game room: featuring an air hockey table, a dart board and a large TV with various gaming consoles hooked up to it. There were some people relaxing in this area, but he didn’t stop to chat with any of them, he was set on his mission.
He walked directly over to the air hockey table, which wasn’t currently in use. He spun around, allowing you to see the smile still fixed on his face. He wasn’t distracted in the slightest, his eyes completely focused on you, which brought up the beginnings of feelings you didn’t want to address.
“Beat me and you don’t have to eat any others.” He said. “But if I win-... well, maybe you don’t wanna think about that.”
“And what if I just don’t agree to play?” You asked.
His smile didn’t slip, he didn’t see this as a true threat to his plan. “Oh, you mean if you forfeit? Well, I suppose I would just leave the rum balls here and hope someone else feels like being a good friend to Rachel…”
He was banking on your competitive side being activated. He had seen on countless occasions how much you loved to win at any kind of game or contest. He knew how difficult you found it to walk away if there was a slight chance that you could win, and he was exploiting this.
And you were letting it happen, wearing a smile to match his. Because who else were you going to hang out with? There were no other friends that you would prefer to spend time with. You knew that the best fun of the night would come from him and you weren’t done soaking up his company.
“Alright. The winner gets the most points out of seven games?” You said, going over to one end of the table.
He set the rum balls down closeby, then took up his position at the other end. “Uh-huh.”
You turned the table on, activating the miniscule air vents that covered the surface. The puck was placed inside of the painted circle, the middle point of the rectangular table’s length. You each collected your circular paddles, which weren’t much bigger than the palm of your hand.
“Ladies first.” He offered and you acted quickly, hoping to catch him off-guard. But this didn’t work out, with him ready to send the puck flying your way before it could get too close to the goal.
You kept going, striking the puck from different angles. You hit it so hard that it flew across the table at an impressive speed. It moved too fast for him, slipping past his paddle and into the little recess that served as your goal.
“Ladies first indeed.” You boasted, wearing a bigger smile now.
You almost forgot about everyone else in the room as you focused so intently on the game. You couldn’t look away for a second. Your mind rushed to come up with tactics, needing to come up with the key to winning.
And you succeeded - earning six goals to his singular point. You did a little happy dance while he accepted his defeat, that spectacular smile leaving his face. He ate another rum ball and with Rachel out of the room, he didn’t fake any part of his reaction. Instantly he grimaced, seeming to labour through each bite. He shut his eyes as he swallowed, all of the joy gone from his expression.
“Bloody Hell, I’m not sure that she left any rum for the rest of the world. It’s all in those little disasters.” He said.
“Why did you say they needed more rum?” You asked.
“Because that was the only thing I could think of to tell her. And I thought she would add an extra teaspoon or something, not an extra ten litres.” He said.
“Well those ten litres are all for you, my friend. Because I’m just getting started on my winning streak.” You said.
He stepped up to the table’s edge, wrapping his fingers around the paddle’s handle again. “We’ll see about that.”
You won the next set of games as well, feeling your cockiness swelling up, even though he had improved, gaining three points this time. His suffering added to your victory and you let yourself get carried away with it, laughing with the malice of a Disney villain. He scrunched his face up even more, adding extra drama to his reaction to this serving of the dessert.
The trash talking started with the next round, each of you enjoying getting invested in this contest. You gleefully teased one another, your words selected to get laughs, not to incite any actual hurt. This became a playful contest, each of you trying to find the most outrageous thing to say. You mangled one another’s names, adding extra syllables so the word loser could be incorporated. There were times when you were too distracted by laughing that he could sneak the puck past you, scoring more than a few points this way.
The teasing only got louder after Ethan had followed through on his offer of getting each of you drinks. This was your third glass of alcoholic eggnog tonight and you were enjoying the buzz you had developed. You didn’t often drink, but when you did you liked the fun-loving side it brought out of you. You got looser, forgetting about those responsibilities that plagued your days.
It didn’t take long for the eggnog to disappear. You used its far superior taste to rinse your mouth after losing and being forced to consume more of the rum balls.
Their intense flavour wasn’t getting any more appealing. So you concentrated harder after every loss. You began trying to fake him out, moving like you were going to hit the puck from the right, only to actually strike from the left. But this only worked a couple of times, the rest he could easily block.
“That’s, like, the third time you’ve done that.” He noted when you came in too strong with your paddle, sending the puck into a momentum that launched it over the raised frame of the table. “You’re getting too aggressive.”
“Boo-hoo. I lose that point every time it happens, so it’s not like I’m doing it on purpose. It just happens.” You said, leaving collecting the puck from the floor up to him.
“I don’t know if losing the point is doing enough to discourage you, maybe we need a harsher penalty.” He said as he returned the puck to its starting point.
You narrowed your eyes as you looked at him. “Like what?”
“You hit it off the table and you lose the point, but you’ve also gotta eat a rum ball.” He said.
“What? That’s a bit of overkill, don’t you think?” You responded.
He smiled as he pushed the cuffs of his long-sleeved shirt further up his forearms. “Don’t knock it off the table and it won’t be your problem.” You rolled your eyes as he grabbed the top of his paddle, returning to his less-relaxed stance. “Alright, we’re at a draw of three points each and it’s my serve.”
You gripped your paddle tightly, not thinking of any funny things to say as you clenched your jaw. He hit the puck in your direction and you tapped it back, not following through with all of your power. He moved to the right, ready to knock it away from his goal. It zipped across the table, quicker than before. You were getting into position, anticipating where it would travel to after ricocheting off the side.
But its speed continued, launching the disc over the frame and onto the ground. Instantly you started to laugh, especially tickled by the way his face fell. He was silent as he grabbed the puck from the ground, then he went to the container of Rachel’s dessert.
“Don’t knock it over the side and it won’t be your problem.” You quoted him, deepening your voice in your effort to imitate him.
He frowned as he ate another rum ball, apparently he was struggling just as much as you were to find anything to like about them. He dusted the excess shredded coconut off of his hands before walking back over to the table.
“Hang on. Aren’t you forgetting something here, dude?” You brought up, successfully getting him to pause. “That’s a point to me, four to three- you lose this round. You have to eat another one.”
He complied without any enthusiasm, but you were grinning the whole time. He popped a rum ball into his mouth, chewing it unhappily. He visibly shuddered as he swallowed it, poking his tongue out to further express his distaste.
He had a couple of mouthfuls of water as he returned to his position opposite you. “Alright, get ready to pay for that.”
“Ooo, I’m so scared.” You mocked. “My serve.”
You proceeded through more rounds, wins shared mostly evenly between the two of you. From time-to-time different people came over to watch, Victoria was very excited over the prospect of him losing. Rachel didn’t appear in the room, allowing you to keep torturing one another with her food.
“I think we should call time.” You said before a new round could begin - even though you weren’t sure how long you had spent playing. Time could behave strangely when you were around Damiano. Hours could pass under the guise of minutes, leaving you feeling like you needed more.
“Aw, do you need a break from getting beaten?” He mocked. This façade was immediately dropped. “Actually, I was so close to suggesting that myself. I don’t think I can physically eat one more.”
You looked into the container, your hands held behind your back as you surveyed what remained inside. “We ate at least half- maybe more. She’s got to be pleased with that. I would say we were way more generous than just having a pity nibble.”
“Yeah, but at what cost to ourselves?” He asked, overly solemn.
You agreed that some fresh air was necessary. You could feel how ruddy your cheeks were as you stepped back onto the patio. You considered whether your current state could be categorised as tipsy. You sat down on one of the padded benches, but he didn’t join you.
“I’m gonna get us some water.” He said and you were quickly nodding along to show your support. “And some kind of something to eat to soak up the rum- a bit of it.”
As he was leaving through the door, he passed by Thomas, the guitarist walking in the opposite direction. He came over to where you were sitting on your own, greeting you with a smile.
“Hey, I feel like I’ve barely seen you tonight. Where have you been hiding?” He asked.
“Oh, I was with Damiano.” You said and the way his eyebrows jumped up couldn’t go unnoticed. “We were playing air hockey.”
“Is that what we’re calling it these-days?” He asked, lightly nudging your side with his elbow.
“What? We really were.” You defended, your voice getting a little louder as discomfort trickled in.
“Are you sure? Are you sure that you didn’t meet under the mistletoe, and that’s why you were missing for hours, and why your face is all flushed?”
You didn’t know how to handle your friend’s scepticism at first. “Is there mistletoe? I haven’t seen it.”
“Nice deflection.” He said, still wearing that sly smile.
“I promise you that we were just playing air hockey.” You told him sincerely. “Ask Ethan, he saw us.” Unfortunately for you, the drummer was nowhere in sight. “Or if you wait for, like, a minute, you can ask Damiano himself when he gets back.”
“It’s okay, I’m not genuinely going to call you a liar.” Thomas said, trying a different approach. “I just wouldn’t be surprised if you guys did sneak off to be alone.”
“Really, why?” You asked.
“Sometimes there’s a vibe between the two of you.” He said.
You furrowed your brow - was your secret crush on Damiano a lot less secret than you were aware of? “A vibe between us? What kind of vibe?”
Thomas shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, a vibe.” Him adding extra emphasis didn’t help you gain any clarity.
“A vibe? Oh good, I was worried you would be vague about it.” You sarcastically quipped.
You didn’t get the chance to get any more information out of him. Instead you were swiftly trying to act inconspicuous as Damiano made his return.
“You’re going to be really happy with me, dude.” He told you, both of his hands were very full. “I found a little stash of dinner rolls for us.”
“Is that to help you get your energy back after all of that air hockey?” Thomas asked, apparently not done with stirring the pot.
“Oh, she was bragging about all of her victories while I was gone, was she?” Damiano asked.
“No.” Thomas said, turning to look at you. “Did you beat him?”
You smirked after being handed a cup of water and a few small bread rolls. “Of course I did.”
“We were pretty even. It’s not like you were wiping the floor with me.” Damiano defended.
“You take my seat, man. I’m gonna go see if I can find that mistletoe.” Thomas said, standing up.
“Mistletoe?” Damiano repeated. “Who do you need that for?”
Thomas patted him on the shoulder. “Maybe I’ll hang it above my ass, just for you.”
Damiano grinned. “Hell yeah, I was hoping I would get lucky at this party.”
Instead of responding with another joke, Thomas just shot a look in your direction. You thought the smile on his face was saying more. 
But he didn’t cause any trouble for you, waving as he departed. Damiano sat down next to you, apparently oblivious as he bit into a bread roll.
“Thanks for getting the food.” You said after having a gulp of water.
“You’re welcome.” He replied casually. “You know you only got so many wins because you kept topping the puck, right?”
You knew what he was referring to, using the flat bottom of a paddle on top of the puck to halt it, gaining control of its momentum. But you didn’t know why he was bringing it up.
“I was not.” You said.
“Dude, you were.” He said.
“If I was doing that- if- why didn’t you call it out when I was supposedly doing it?” You asked. “I never topped, and you can ask all my exes, they will confirm that fact.”
The words had slipped out of your mouth. Your cheeks immediately filled with a hot blush as you mentally scolded yourself for your lack of impulse control. You blamed the alcohol in your system as you covered your mouth with your fingers. You wished you hadn’t said it, and you didn’t know how to play it off.
His eyes lit up. “Oh, is that how it is?”
You began shaking your head. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“What? Why? It’s not like I’m judging you for your position preferences.” He said.
This didn’t help you to stop blushing. Was he thinking about it, or picturing it in any way? You didn’t know what you wanted the answer to be and you were finding it difficult to meet his eye.
“Thanks. It would be pretty awkward if you unfriended me just because I'm a bottom.” You said, finding a way to joke through this.
He laughed. “As if.” You dared to look up at him again. “The reason I'm gonna unfriend you is for you topping the puck.”
“I was not!” You burst out, your indignation making him laugh more. “If you saw it, you should have said something.”
“I'll have to remember it for next time we play.” He said, his laughter stopping. “Oh, I’m an asshole. I totally forgot that you were in the middle of telling me about that friction at work, with what’s-her-name.” He said. “That’s my bad, dude. Did you wanna tell me more about that, her being overbearing as Hell?”
Sumia seemed like a safe topic to move onto - you could get back to how you had been communicating earlier, when you had been at ease, your feelings seemed less unavoidable then.
And your co-worker gave you a lot to vent about.
“I don’t know how much more patience I have for her and her telling me how to manage my team.” You said.
“Why does she think she’s your supervisor?” He asked.
“Beats me. Supervisors make more money, so maybe that’s what she’s angling for.” You said. “It’s like she’s trying to prove that she can do that job, by supposedly helping improve how the lab runs. But there’s no indication that the boss has that kind of promotion to give.”
He had finished eating, crossing one leg over the other towards you. He rested his elbow on the top knee and then held his chin in his hand as he listened to you. “Maybe she’s into manifestation.”
“Maybe she’s a jerk.” You said, grateful when he let this pass without pointing out the immaturity of trying to make this part of your argument. “She’s a shadow, a really terrible shadow. It’s like she’s always waiting for me to slip up. Instead of doing her actual job, she watches for me to do something that she doesn’t agree with slightly, so she can run off and tell everyone I’ve been naughty or something.”
“Well I hope she’s not in touch with Santa.” He said, surprising you out of your train of thought. You cocked your head to the side as you looked at him, too perplexed to speak. “‘Cause naughty girls get punished by Santa, you know.”
The image surged into your mind - too fast and too powerful for you to fend off. Your friend wearing only a Santa hat, calling you naughty. The word punish posed so many possibilities and your mind wanted to explore them, your heart already racing just as your thoughts were.
Your eyes had grown wide and you could feel the revealing blush in your cheeks again. It felt like your mouth was stuck shut as you willed this increasingly-detailed fantasy from your brain.
You didn’t have to be speaking to give him a response he wanted to observe. His eyes remained on your face, watching the changes in your expression - which were beyond your control. A smile was beginning on his mouth as you were scrambling to keep yourself together.
“This isn’t the reaction I was expecting. You’re looking a little shocked.” He said.
“Am I?” You asked and an attempt at clearing your throat brought on some coughing.
“Yeah, why are you acting like this is brand new information?” He asked.
You looked down at your lap, finding the napkin your bread rolls had been resting on was clear, you couldn’t use your food as a distraction. “I’m not trying to act that way.”
“Okay.” He said and when you looked up again, it was to find that he was still wearing his amused smile.
You feared what he might say if you asked what he was smiling about. You wanted to know, but you feared the change it could bring.
You were trying to recall a normal way to act. Maybe you could have found the right thing to say - 
- if not for Rachel serving as an interruption, again.
“You guys, oh my God, you ate so many.” She said as she rushed over to where the two of you were sitting. She carried the container and wore a broad smile. “Someone said you were eating them the whole time you were playing air hockey.”
Now that the focus had shifted, you found that your ability to speak normally had mostly returned. You had to protect Rachel’s feelings, and you had to make sure that eating all of those rum balls hadn’t been for nothing. “Did they say anything else?”
“Like what?” She asked, proving how oblivious she was, which ushered in some of the relief that you needed.
Before she could read too much into your question, he was distracting her with compliments - tapping into that charm he had a seemingly endless supply of. “Of course we ate so many, they’re great. I don’t know about her, but it was hard to stop once I started eating them. Maybe all that extra rum made them addictive.”
You nodded along to what he was saying and it was clear that she was buying it as she went on smiling brightly, standing with her shoulders pushed back. The dishonesty was giving her a boost in confidence - could it be such a bad thing?
“I feel a little bad that we had so many before anyone else could really have a chance to try them.” As he spoke, the movement of Thomas coming back onto the patio caught your eye.
“No, I think there’s still enough left.” She said.
“Hey Ray.” He greeted, standing beside her.
She swung her body to face him, presenting him with the selection of dessert she still had. “Hi, have a rum ball?”
“Oh, nice.” He said, his optimism surprising you. Did he think she had purchased them, instead of making them? “I was hoping someone would bring these.”
Damiano grabbed your wrist, each of you watching carefully as Thomas picked out one of the rum balls. There was no way to guess how he would react - he had always been a wild card like that.
He began to eat and it appeared there were no issues. He didn’t wince or frown at all.
“Mmm.” He hummed as he swallowed it down. “That’s good, it isn’t too sweet.”
“That’s exactly what I was going for.” She said, briefly showing Damiano a favourable smile.
Thomas wasn’t dropping the act. Was his poker face stronger than you had realised? He took another of the small spheres, happily eating this as well, not needing to be pressured into doing it.
At the same time, you and Damiano looked at each other. You could already tell that he was thinking the same as you - your unpleasant efforts hadn’t needed to be undertaken at all. While you had been groaning through every mouthful, Thomas would have enjoyed eating Rachel’s dessert, fulfilling her desire to have her cooking validated.
You started laughing first, feeling foolish but not embarrassed. As Damiano continued to look at you, he joined you in fits of laughter. That sense of obligation towards Rachel was evaporating and you kept laughing as even more relief took its place. His hand went from your wrist, now holding your hand. You were united in finding this unexpected outcome ridiculous.
“What are you two laughing about? What could possibly be this funny?” Rachel asked.
“Oh, you know what they’re like, always up to something, that’s their vibe.” Thomas said.
As you tried to get your laughter under control, you shot a glare in Thomas’ direction. But it seemed that Damiano had missed the statement and its potential subtext, he was too busy giggling to notice.
The other two left after a moment and his continued snickering made you want to start up again.
“Dude.” He said through a gasp for air.
“We literally didn’t need to do that, any of it.” You said, smiling as you shook your head. “I’m gonna have rum in my system for weeks. And the whole time, Tom would have eaten them and spared Rachel from heartbreak.”
He was still laughing. “Her Christmas spirit didn’t need us to save it.”
“We are so dumb.”
You properly noticed that he was still holding your hand and you looked at how your fingers fit perfectly with his. He had held your hand before (squeezing through crowded clubs and not wanting to lose track of each other, amongst other instances). You told yourself that this shouldn’t feel any more significant than the other times it had happened. You rejected your own inclination that this was a ‘couple-y’ thing to do.
But you missed his hand in yours as soon as he took it away. He used his fingers to wipe beneath his eyes as he steadily brought his laughter to an end. “That’s my bad, I should have remembered that he eats absolutely anything.”
“Yeah, I thought you guys were supposed to be brothers.” You said.
He looked you in the eye, he had quit laughing, but he was still smiling. “That’s definitely naughty girl behaviour.”
You stared back at him, denying the insistent imagery your mind was all too ready to produce. “What, what are you talking about?” Once again you were trapped under that gaze that seemed to see too much.
“Lying, only naughty girls lie.” He said.
You knew that the way you were holding yourself together would disintegrate further if he said more words. “Can we drop this?”
He playfully pushed you a little further. “Why, do you not like being called that?”
You kept your lips firmly pressed together. You didn’t know what to say, you couldn’t risk slipping up. It was the opposite of not liking him calling you a naughty girl, but you didn’t know how to make sense of that for yourself. There was no way you could explain it to him.
The teasing smile fixed to his face made you squirm. It differed to the typical way you would make fun of each other. A thought occurred to you - if you kissed him you wouldn’t have to see that smile anymore, you could get a break from its disarming effects.
This situation had shifted and you could feel the control you used to protect yourself under threat. And you weren’t ready to be without it, regardless of how appealing and handsome he was.
You had to fight yourself, and your urges, back, the effort feeling almost physical. But you did it, producing distance between the two of you by getting to your feet.
“I’m gonna go and see if I can find some pudding. I would like to get to the part of this night where I’m eating a dessert I don’t have to pretend to enjoy.” You said. “I’ll see you later, dude.”
“See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.” He said, showing no signs of hurt feelings.
You didn’t hesitate to walk back inside, you needed space and time. You knew that you and your friend could get back to normal before too long. But for the moment you needed solitude, time for the ripples he had created to die out.
*** *** ***
 Hey dude. Are you home? I kinda have a favour to ask…
This wasn’t the first time you were hearing from Damiano in the week since the Christmas party. The way you had been communicating could be characterised as normal, the word naughty hadn’t been used once.
But that didn’t mean you had stopped thinking about it. When your brain wasn’t actively engaged with something (work, Pilates), it wandered and a fantasy was unfolding. In your mind’s eye you saw a Santa hat as the concept of punishment produced many ideas. Would it be spanking? Would it be restraints on your body? Would it be more telling you how bad you were?
Your ventures into rough play had been short. Previous partners had treated it as a brief aspect of foreplay, doing as much as it took to turn them on before progressing to the ‘main event’. How much you wanted was usually ignored, but your people-pleasing tendencies kept you from voicing any complaints.
As you imagined going further than you had before, you willed a different face to appear under the Santa hat. You didn’t want it to be your friend. You tried to replace him with Harry Styles, or other celebrities you found sexy. Or a guy that you had gotten a crush on in the four months that you had worked together - what was his name?
But Damiano’s visage always returned to claim ownership of this role. There was a vast catalogue of memories that could be called upon to create a very clear image. You had gone swimming together countless times, you were familiar with what he looked like in nothing but a Speedo. Maybe other people at these group activities didn’t pay as much attention to his body as you did. But you always found something to like.
The fantasy always stirred something deep in your gut. You didn’t hate it, but you didn’t want it in your brain. It could compromise what you had and enjoyed.
You hoped for it to be a phase. It was like getting a song stuck in your head, it couldn’t stay on a loop forever. Sooner or later, your mind would move onto the next.
For now you were doing everything in your power to act normally with him. Surely the actions would impact your mental state, taking you back to a place of feeling normal (and in control).
Tell me what the favour is first. Maybe I’m not sure if I’m home yet.
You considered the words before hitting the send icon. Typically you gave messages a pre-send proofread to make sure there were no embarrassing spelling errors.
This was different: you were checking for anything that could be misconstrued or turned into innuendo. You had to conceal the swirl in your mind, picking up the implications that came with him reaching out to you so late at night. Why was he thinking about you past 11PM? Was it too much of a stretch to think he might be having difficulty falling asleep in a way that was linked to you? All of these theories had to be kept to yourself.
Haha. I’ll see you in about 20. He responded.
You stared at the screen of your mobile phone, feeling like you were on the way to becoming out of your depth. Hold up! You still haven’t told me what the favour is yet.
There was a brief pause (time for you to squirm on your sofa and tap your fingernails on the phone’s case) before you received his next message. I ran out of wrapping paper. None of the stores are open this late. & I’m driving to see my family tomorrow afternoon.
Running out of wrapping paper on Christmas Eve sounded like a stressful situation to be stranded in. It wasn’t a problem for you to worry about - you had packaged up your final purchase earlier in the week. You were the perfect person to rescue him and he was especially grateful when you confirmed that you could help him out.
From the highest platform of his cat tree, Iggy watched you sit up on the couch. You halted the renovation show that you had been watching, now motivated to get to your feet.
With the purpose of his visit so obviously platonic, it would have been odd to try to impress him, too much effort put into your appearance would be a waste. But you didn’t want to look like crap either. You went into the bathroom because brushing your teeth seemed like the best place to start. As you did this, you considered your reflection. The pyjamas you were wearing weren’t covered in any kind of embarrassing print and the robe you wore didn’t have gross stains on it.
You looked casual and comfortable. This wouldn’t be the first time he had seen you in your pyjamas. They were hardly glamorous or sexy, but they were you: the friend that he knew he could rely on.
After brushing your hair, you gathered the supplies he would need to get the gifts ready for his family. You placed all of this on the coffee table.
Instead of sitting on the sofa to await his arrival, you headed in the direction of your bedroom. You had just decided that putting a bra on was a good idea.
Suddenly Iggy was done with his lazing about. Your cat went sprinting past you, needing to get to the bedroom before you, for some unknown reason.
He had just disappeared out of your sight when you heard a knocking on the door. You would have to face Damiano without a bra, as your cat maintained his anti-social way of life.
You opened the door and couldn’t help laughing at what you found waiting for you. Damiano was dressed up - wearing an elf costume, complete with a hat and a green shirt that had a bright red collar. In one hand he carried a large fabric sack, it seemed a bit extra to transport his family’s gifts like this. But maybe he was this level of dedicated to the joke.
He smiled, seeming pleased with your reaction. “Are you going to let me in, or just stand there laughing at me?”
You moved to the side, still laughing as he came inside. “I’m sorry, but seriously, what are you wearing? Did you guys have some kind of themed Christmas show? Because I do not remember you mentioning that.” There was a bell at the tip of his green hat and it made a merry little sound with every step he took. “Or is this a service that you provide to the community every year? You put this costume on and you go door-to-door spreading the festive spirit?”
Once he had reached the lounge room, he stopped walking, turning to face you and you could see he was still smiling. “No, you’re the only one I’m seeing.”
“Okay. Well, can the elf wrap the presents himself? Or was he expecting me to help ‘cause I’m good with ribbons?” You asked.
“I lied about needing wrapping paper.” He said.
“Huh? Why would you do that?” You asked, more confused than upset by the deception.
“It was the only excuse I could come up with to come and see you. I needed to see you.” He said, his tone more serious than you had been expecting of a man dressed in a novelty T-shirt.
“What on Earth is going on?” You asked. You were trying to pick up clues from his expression, but you weren’t sure you had seen him like this before.
“Okay. So, part of this thing is that I wanted to give you a good laugh. I know how stressful your job has been lately and I know that you’ll be spending Christmas alone.” He said and it was flattering to know how well he listened to you, even when you were just talking about your parents going to England to spend the holiday with your little sister. “I figured you could use a little extra merriment, from an external source. And it seems like I accomplished that, awesome.”
“Yeah, you have.” You said. “What’s the other part to this?”
He paused to set the sack down on the floor and take a deep breath. “Don’t feel any pressure to respond in a certain way. I’m gonna be honest with you and I just want you to be honest back.”
“Okay.” You said - you were too confused to joke with him in any way. Your brain was so preoccupied that you had stopped noticing the silly hat and shirt.
“I want you.” He said.
The monumental statement wasn’t followed up by any laughter, keeping the sincerity present.
“I don’t mean to surprise you with this. But it kind of surprised me.” He said, happy to fill the silence as you remained too stunned to speak. “It started at the Christmas party-... well, maybe that’s not fully true. I guess I’ve thought about you, us, a couple of times. But it changed, it got more serious after the party.
“I was genuinely joking with that naughty girl stuff, ‘cause that’s what we do, lightening the mood and all that. But the way you reacted… I would have to be blind to not see that. You were having thoughts about it that went beyond a joke, maybe feelings, too.
“A lot of people think you’re shy, I’ve seen new people come into the group with that perception of you. And by extension of that, you seem innocent.” He said. “But I don’t think you’re what you appear to be. Your reaction makes me think that you like being called names and you like being put in your place, in a very un-innocent way.
“And thinking about you like that you got me all worked up. And I’ve barely been able to get it out of my head. So I thought we could bring our ideas of what Santa would do with a naughty girl together, and see what we like best.” He said and he picked up the sack, bringing it to sit in front of his feet. “I have my bag of tricks and I have a role that you could play, if you’re interested…”
He paused, looking down as he drew in a deep breath. “And if you’re not… I completely respect that. I will just go away, I might hit up Rachel’s place on the way home and see if she has any rum that she can share, so then I can drink this embarrassing moment out of my brain.”
“She’s not gonna have it. There isn’t a single drop left anywhere in Italy because she used it all.” You said, smiling. “They’re rushing to import more from the West Indies, but that would take a couple of weeks to get here.”
He met your gaze again, smiling as well. You supposed that he was waiting for you to say something. 
You powered through the trepidation, endeavouring to meet him in the middle. You had to act on your feelings, denying them hadn’t gotten you anything good.
You walked the short distance that separated the two of you. The way he was looking at you added to the certainty you felt, able to combat the nerves. You were filled with adrenaline and the concept of stopping didn’t feel possible.
You placed yourself directly in front of him. You stepped over the sack with one foot as you raised both of your hands to his face. You cradled his cheeks in your hands, wondering if you had ever before been able to truly appreciate all of the beautiful features of his face at the same time like this. He was familiar, but changed enough to provide new excitement.
You expressed these different feelings by kissing him. And putting your lips to his felt immediately good, not that level of awkwardness a first kiss could hold. You weren’t making adjustments, nothing needed to be changed.
After a moment (perhaps giving you a window of time to change your mind and back out of this whole thing) he wrapped his arms around your waist. Your heart was fluttering as you tasted more-and-more of his top lip, the pleasing scent of his cologne adding to this. One of your hands travelled up, moving into his soft hair, enjoying what wasn’t trapped under the obnoxious hat.
You parted very slightly, your nose still resting against his as you tried to somewhat catch your breath. “Naughty girls get punished by Santa.” You said, not needing to pause to recall these words that had been ever-present in your mind since first hearing him say it.
“That’s right.” He said.
“Then how come you’re dressed as an elf?” You asked, teasing.
He laughed lightly, which you joined in on. “This was what I had at home. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind.”
“You’re right, I don’t.” You said. “I don’t see it bothering me for long. Everything’s gonna come off of your body soon.”
He was grinning. “Are we-... do you really wanna do this?”
You caressed his cheek. “Yes, I’ve hardly been able to stop thinking about it too. But this isn’t the only time I’ve thought about you like this. Not to sound like a high schooler, but I’ve got a crush on you.”
“And you never told me?” He asked, the tips of his fingers playing at the spot under your chin. “Keeping secrets is more naughty girl behaviour.”
“It sounds like there’s a lot of things you could punish me over.” You said, the adrenaline keeping you from being too shy to say something like this. You could inhabit this character and speak your truth without overthinking every single word.
“Have you ever been punished before?” He asked, his tone less flirty.
“No, but I wanna be.” You said.
He gave you a brief kiss before taking a small step back. “We need to start with boundaries because I don’t wanna do anything that interrupts your fun. I’m not going to do this with you unless we do it the right way.” You nodded along, even though you didn’t fully understand what was expected of you yet. “Do you have any strict no’s?”
You couldn’t help feeling a little intimidated. Usually it took a few dates for you to get into this kind of kinky conversation, but you had only kissed this guy a couple of times.
“Uhm, I'm not a big fan of anal. If this is something you’re into, I’m sorry, but I don’t like calling people Daddy…”
“That’s totally fine.” He said. “Do you have a safe word?”
“No.”
“Well, have a think about it.” He said. “I don’t mean to make it sound intimidating. If there’s something you don’t want to do, you just have to tell me.”
You made an attempt at looking more confident, pushing your shoulders back slightly. “I’m not intimi-...” He compelled you back towards honesty without any words, a glance was all it took. “I’ll let you know.” In his silence, you noticed how the smile on his face was growing. “What, why are you looking at me like that? Did I say something funny?”
“No, there’s nothing funny. You’re just really adorable right now.” He said. “And I’m not used to seeing you like this. I like watching you squirm, it’s not how you usually act around me and it’s not just so fucking cute. It also gives me inspiration, it makes me want to do other things to see what else makes you squirm.”
“I’m squirming?” You asked, all of these movements had been happening involuntarily, they didn’t feel significant to you.
He had walked over closer to you again. “Yes and I’m getting a little obsessed with it.”
“I bet you could show me all new ways to squirm.” You said.
“Only if you're a good girl…”
You were smiling as he put his fingers under your chin, guiding you to tilt your head back so he could capture your mouth with a kiss. There was safety and excitement in the way he wrapped his arms around you. You didn’t resist this rush for one second, letting your lips part at the first touch of his tongue because you wanted to indulge deeper.
Before you could find that perfect rhythm with him, he was bringing the kiss to a gentle end. You waited to feel his lips again as his breath continued to caress your face.
When you opened your eyes, you found that he wasn’t moving in for another kiss. Instead he was carefully studying your face, seemingly unwilling to overlook a single feature. For the first time in your life, you felt like you understood what it meant to be admired.
“I'm more turned on than intimidated.” You wanted to clarify.
“And I intend to keep it like that.” He said as he smiled. “Do you wanna go into the bedroom?”
“Uh-huh, I really want to.”
He picked up the holiday-themed bag and you began down the short hallway.
The epiphany came to you as you were walking and you immediately spun around, needing to share the thought.
“Grinch.” You stated.
He stared at you, waiting for it to be his turn to talk. “I’m gonna need some sliver of context before I can get to be as happy about this word as you are.”
“What if we make Grinch the safe word?” You asked. “Or is that a bit too obvious and uninspired?”
“Of course we can use that. Good work, baby.” He said.
The way that he sounded so pleased added an extra spring in your step as you continued toward the bedroom. Earning his approval was having an effect on you.
And you definitely liked the sound of him calling you baby. It was so different from the way he would usually address you, joking as he called you dude. This rolled off his tongue giving you some intriguing feelings, which you didn’t feel compelled to run from. Your old reactions wouldn’t suffice in this brand new scenario.
Once you were standing in the illuminated bedroom you turned to face him, and he was instantly upon you. It seemed that none of the toys he had brought were breakable, with him paying no attention to how the sack landed after he had tossed it in the direction of your bed. You were more than willing to be distracted from this, getting swept up in more of his exciting kisses. He put his hands to either side of your face, holding you in exactly the place he wanted. You wrapped your arms around his middle, feeling the acceleration past the point of no return - you could not walk it back from here. 
You savoured how it felt to explore beyond the typical with him. His lips left yours, travelling downwards. As he continued gracing your skin with kisses, he tilted his head and the bell attached to his hat jingled. It was almost funny how out of place it was, failing to add anything to the established mood.
But you didn’t want to laugh and you didn’t want to hear anymore of it. You grabbed for the cap’s tail, the bell ringing again as you pulled the hat off of his head. His mouth was discovering your neck as you tossed the accessory away, hearing the jingle for the last time. Your hands moved into his hair, the soft strands gliding between your fingers. His slow kisses moved across more of your neck. You wondered if he would leave marks, they would be exciting to wear.
He paused before getting too much lower. “I can’t get to any of the fun bits, you’re so bundled-up.”
You scoffed. “It’s winter and it’s nighttime. What were you expecting, should I be lying around my apartment in lacy lingerie and high heels?”
“No.”
“Thank you.”
“You should be lying around in absolutely nothing.” He said.
“I guess that I’m gonna be the first present you unwrap this year.” You said.
He smiled and returned his lips to yours. But the distraction of getting you out of your clothes soon took priority. You saw the enthusiasm on his face as he undid the tie of your fuzzy bathrobe. He didn’t take his time, moving consistently quickly to remove your layered comfortable clothing.
Your skin formed goosebumps as you became more exposed. But this wasn’t in response to the low temperature that had seen you grab for so much covering. This was the anticipation, which was also keeping a blush in your cheeks.
You didn’t feel judged as his eyes took in all of the details of your naked body. You knew that your safety with him wasn’t at risk.
He began to experience your body beyond sight, and the touch of his hands brought to your attention just how sensitive you were. A caress to the small of your back brought warmth into your gut. The way he gave your hip an affectionate squeeze made you notice a tremble in your knees.
For the moment you had entirely forgotten about his sack, you definitely weren’t trying to guess at which sex toys were inside. You were feeling like a toy yourself, being played with. He was gently exploring you, getting a hint of your features that lay beneath the surface. 
His fingers continued to trail all over your bare skin and you saw the tantalising sparkle in his eyes before he gave you some more kisses. You wrapped your arms around his middle, low enough that you could slip your hands under the hem of his festively foolish shirt. Now it was your turn for fingers to trail as you appreciated his skin differently to ever before.
You followed your inclination to experience more of this, aware of your greed rising. One of your hands travelled up his back, while the other pulled the hem up because you were wondering how it would feel to have your bare skin pressed against his. It was a very inviting idea and you continued to gradually raise the bottom of his shirt.
His fingers caressed your cheeks as the kiss reached a gradual conclusion. “Are you feeling a bit eager? Don’t get too distracted now, you’re the one getting unwrapped here, babe.”
“What? I’m just trying to make it more even, is that so bad?” You asked.
“I wouldn’t classify impatience as a good girl quality.” He said with just the right amount of sternness in his voice.
You played along, pouting your bottom lip out a little. “You’re gonna make my punishment harder ‘cause I don’t like to wait?”
“Your punishment will be as harsh as you want it.”
“As harsh as you want.” You corrected.
“I have something that could be a counter to that impatience before you get too unruly.” He said.
“Alright, I trust you.”
It seemed that this was the right answer because it earned you some more kisses. As you soaked up the heat from his body, he slightly altered the way he was holding you. One of his hands reached lower to the back of your thigh and his arm tightened around your waist. Squeezing you close to him, he manipulated your body until both of your feet were leaving the ground.
This gave you a different type of rush. You had never been carried by a partner like this before. You clung to him as your eagerness continued to run rampant through your system, unwilling to forfeit its dominance. The muscles on his arms that you had noticed a fair amount of times weren’t just for show, he held you steady. He took careful steps, moving blindly as his focus went to continuing to kiss you.
He made it to the bed with barely a falter of his grip. The momentum changed and you were moved away from his body, his hands guiding you elsewhere. Your butt reached the mattress first as your eyes started to flutter open.
He was in the ideal spot directly in front of you for no more than a second. Then he was turning away, fetching the bag he had brought to delight you with. You regained your balance, trying to anticipate what he was about to show you, even though there were no visual clues. Judging by what he had said, you expected some form of restraints - but which style would he favour? Fuzzy handcuffs would go with the novelty of a Santa sack. Or did he prefer the precision and care of tying you up manually?
Amongst the other items in the sack, he found one, showing it to you as he walked over again. You were pleased to be proven correct by the sight of handcuffs, his thumb hooked through one of the shut loops. These weren’t novelty items, there were two thick cuffs that appeared to be made of leather. Despite the cute stars printed across them, you knew they would be strong enough to hold you.
“Would you like to veto these?” He asked. “And there isn’t a limit on your vetoes, you can use as many as you need.”
You were shaking your head before he had finished speaking. You weren’t very interested in ruling things out - you had already decided that you wanted to show off how much you could take. You were attached to the idea of impressing him.
Your eyes went to his other hand, which held the bag, its shape distorted by the items it still held. “It’s pretty obvious you didn’t just come over here with some cuffs. What’s left in that sack, what else did you bring?”
He smiled without a hint of bashfulness. “I think you’re probably better off asking what I didn’t bring.”
He wasn’t about to show you his entire hand yet. Instead of upending the bag, he reached in to collect something else currently out of your sight. A subtle crease came into his brow as he briefly concentrated. Before you could offer any assistance, he achieved his goal and showed you two of his fingers brightly decorated. They were unique finger puppets, but they weren’t entirely unfamiliar to you. You leaned forward, eyes greedily studying the little protruding bumps and ridges.
“Oh, I used to own stuff like that, I know how they work.” You said.
He didn’t let this deflate him or take away from his presentation at all. “You know all about them, huh?” You nodded, still feeling some self-confidence. “But have you had someone use them on you?” You stopped nodding. “‘Cause that can really change the experience. Do you want me to demonstrate that?”
You weren’t intimidated, feeling like you weren’t entirely out of your depth yet allowed you to stay possessed by intrigue. “Uh-huh.”
The cuffs and the remaining contents of the bag were ignored for the moment. He came in close again and you were relieved to not have to wait for the next kiss. You shut your eyes and drew your desires purely from his mouth.
You could have gotten distracted by this, still learning the little techniques that his kisses possessed. But before you could fully forget about the accessories placed on his fingers, you were feeling the rubber toy stroking down your chest. It dragged across your skin differently to his bare touch and you were hotly anticipating where you might feel the other toy.
The second stimulator got your attention when he flicked it against one of your hardened nipples. You couldn’t help flinching, bringing laughter from him, even as he continued to kiss you. The sound was muffled by your mouths, dying out as you pictured that cocky grin on his face.
He began to trail his fingers (both covered and not) down one side of your body. This whisper of a touch left you with goosebumps. He moved his hand up-and-down, applying pressure with the toys in a kind of massage, the slow patterns were so attentive. At the same time his tongue was pushing into the small space between your lips, easing them further apart. The exploration of his tongue paired perfectly with the caresses of his hands, one on either side of your body now.
You squeezed your thighs together when you felt him firmly grab your hips, almost pinching. Then he rubbed and clenched his fingers, rubbed and clenched. You couldn’t help lifting your hips a little, keen to press more of yourself against him. His tongue kept playing against the roof of your mouth, encouraging you further.
“I like the way you’re squirming under me.” He said. “I can tell this good girl is enjoying herself already, hm?”
“Mm-hmm.” You responded.
His hands moved lower than your hips, the toys pushing against your skin. The movement held your focus. He went to your ass, holding it in his hands, fingers extending and massaging this area. It seemed to you that he was truly trying to learn your body, giving you the sense that this was so much more than a fleeting interest and you let yourself get more excited, writhing a bit more frequently now. 
When you opened your eyes it was to find him watching you, something of a smile still on his face as your reactions intrigued him. He noticed you looking and smiled a bit wider. His hands were now dragging up-and-down, going from the top of your butt to the tops of your thighs.
“I’m not used to having a knowledge advantage like this. You’re so clever, so quick, so tuned in, you always know more than me. Not in a cocky, or arrogant way- that’s never been you. But you’re a smart, smart girl, and maybe this is an area where I’m ‘smarter’, so I think I might savour how this feels.” He said. “Having all the control as I show you something new, surprise you a little.”
“That means you’re gonna stretch this teasing out, aren’t you?” You asked.
“Is that not what you want, baby?” He asked with a teasing grin now on his face.
“I need to work on my patience. And I just want to know if it will be worth it.” You said.
“Of course it will be worth it. If you can earn it: you’re going to get a big reward.” He said. “And I don’t really wanna rush something I’ve waited so long for.”
“Waited, what do you mean?” You asked.
“All of the times you’ve popped into my head and I’ve wondered if it would only work as a quick fantasy… what’s that expression, if I had a dollar for every time?”
“You would have a lot of dollars?” You offered.
“Precisely.” He said. “Naturally my smart girl knew what I was talking about straight away.”
You wondered if he would be able to give you a more specific amount of this metaphorical money - you made a note to hold this question for later.
For now you were just concentrating on kissing him, his mouth covering yours again. His expectations were present in your mind, but they couldn’t intimidate you, not while you were preoccupied by how right everything felt. One kiss melted into another, a perfectly correct rhythm.
You felt one of his hands wrap around your thigh, the fingers splayed out in a purposeful grasp. He began to ease your legs apart.
Your concentration instantly sharpened when his covered fingers got to the area typically covered by your panties. You wrapped an arm around his neck, needing a hint of steadiness. He rubbed and massaged at your pubic mound, the pressure enticing you. You noticed how much blood was pumping into this area - all before he had made any contact with your labia majora. He was warming your body up inch-by-inch and it was splendid.
You felt the want pooling in your cunt as he started to work over your labia. He took his time to caress these folds, the rubber fingers gliding over your pubic hairs. It was a nice increase of intimacy, keeping you on track of hoping for what his next move would feel like.
He broke the kiss and you saw how he was grinning, his tongue dragging over his top row of teeth. “Isn’t that so much fun, so much more fun than just playing on your own?” He asked.
“Mm-hmm.”
It seemed he wasn’t done with making you wait. Instead of going forward, he took his fingers away and it was only the cool air touching your pussy.
But you didn’t relax, expecting more and wanting to be prepared.
You kept your eyes shut for the moment. You weren’t motivated to open them until he spoke again and he had straightened up, some distance between your bodies as he returned his hands to the sack of supplies.
“So you’ve met this kind of toy before, how about this? How familiar are you with this?” He asked, showing you a larger object.
“Oh, a wand. Of course I’ve used one of those before.” You said.
His hand went back into the sack. “Alright, I’m gonna need something to help me surprise you, then.” He produced an eye mask, which bore the same star pattern you had seen on the handcuffs. “Do you want to veto this?”
“No, but, well, I mean, not veto, but…” His eyebrows raised as you stumbled over your words. “I’m not against the blindfold, but am I really not gonna get to see you? You get to see me totally naked, but I’m not gonna see anything?”
“Just for a little while…” He said and he wore a smile as he came closer with the eye mask. “God, you’re adorable when you’re pouting like that. Don’t worry, kitten, you will get to see me naked, I’m here to tease you, not subject you to cruel deprivation.” He eased the mask over the top of your head, not pulling it any lower than your eyebrows for now. “My plan is actually for you to get sick of the sight of me naked.”
You smiled at this obvious joke. “Why would that be your goal? That would take a whole lot of nakedness.”
“Exactly.” He said. “What’s your definitive verdict for the blindfold?”
“I’m okay with it. That's the same stars as the…”
“Uh-huh, it goes with the cuffs. Actually it’s from a four-piece set. It also came with this…” He left the mask not blocking any of your view, his focus going back to the bag. He pulled out a small, flexible-looking paddle. Its body was decorated with the same solid white stars.
Then he showed you another item, which carried on the star motif on its thick straps. These adjustable straps were short and attached to a modestly sized ball. You knew exactly where that solid sphere was supposed to go, and it truly intimidated you.
“A ball-gag?” You asked, wondering how you could stall for a little time.
“Yeah, we don’t have to use it if you don’t want to. Personally, it’s not my favourite. But I brought it along anyway because I’m here to explore your favourites, and we’re gonna do that without judgement, one hundred percent.”
“I don’t need it.” You said.
“Cool, let’s just…” He trailed off, stopping himself mid-gesture. “I was gonna throw this to the side, but I don’t want your boy to come along and think it’s a toy for him and get at it.”
“Iggy’s scared of everyone, you’re literally not gonna see him at all.” You said of your cat.
The ball-gag returned into the sack and you felt better for it. He opened the velcro of one of the handcuffs. You straightened your arm and he wrapped the band around your wrist, then pressed the two ends together. You were smiling as you offered your other wrist to him.
“I’m proud of you for using a veto.” He said as he got the second cuff secured.
“Oh, thanks.” You said, not entirely sure how to respond to this unexpected compliment. Was it sexy to him that you had said no? You supposed that one veto wasn’t going to place many limitations on him, the bag in his hand still heavy with possibilities.
He kissed you, his fingers brushing up against the sides of your face. You lifted your hands, the chain giving a little rattle to remind you of your restrictions as you extended your arms. You held onto his shirt as his tongue massaged against your lips.
You felt something soft pressing against the top of your face. When he eased away, you opened your eyes to only see the dark fabric of the eye mask. You continued to hold onto his shirt as you waited for his kiss. You knew that it would anchor you through the rushing emotions and uncertainty.
A new but quiet sound got your curiosity as soon as you heard it. This proceeded you feeling the vibrations of the massaging wand, its rounded head pushed into the soft area beneath your belly button. At the same time, he leaned his body into yours. You had the sense that he was close enough to kiss, but it didn’t come.
“Lay back.” He said.
You instantly leaned away, your body blindly seeking out the bed. “So stern. Yes, sir.”
His lips crashed against yours before you were laid out. He was setting a lustful pace, faster than before.
Your back reached the bed, with him lying on top of you. The pressure from his weight was wonderful, further adding to the concept that he was fully in charge.
You had stopped noticing the mechanical humming of the magic wand. But it was brought back to your attention when he applied the stimulating bulb to your pubic mound. Your heart launched into your throat and you were breathlessly trying to keep up with his rushed kisses.
“It’s better like this, hm? It’s less intimidating for you, right?” He asked in a low voice. “Because you’re not trying to read my expression, you aren’t worrying about where I’m looking. You don’t have to wear the blindfold for the whole night, but it’s got its advantages.”
“I’m seeing that.” You said before giving a giggle. “Well, not seeing in the literal sense, but you know what I mean.”
“Uh-huh.”
“You’re still maintaining that knowledge advantage.” You said.
“And loving every second of it.” He said. “Raise your hands up above your head.” It wasn’t a request. At the same time you were feeling the vibrating toy moving lower, in a drawn-out manner.
“Yes, sir.” You said, making this adjustment.
In the same second that you had finished speaking, he swiftly delivered the vibrator to your clitoral hood. This opened you up to an excitement greater than before and you couldn’t help squirming as his body kept you pinned down. The vibrations titillated you, awakening nerves, even at this low setting.
His lips going to one of your nipples brought a choked sob from your mouth. He began to suck and the intensity perfectly matched the vibrations, creating a fire in your gut. You saw stars, but these weren’t the same as what was printed on the fabric. These little stars were appearing and glowing prettily in your imagination.
He transferred to the other nipple and increased the toy’s pulsations. He kept it against your clit, set on this as the best location.
When he gradually moved his mouth down lower, he also took the sex toy to a lower spot. Now its smooth head nestled between where your puffy lips usually concealed your entrance. The pressure he utilised had you feeling the consistent vibrations in your labia minora, an intensity you needed more than a moment to adjust to.
The desire reached deeper into you, rocking you on a greater level as his lips massaged across your skin. You were amazed by how much effort he was putting into your experience, working so hard for your pleasure. His lips trailed onto your belly as he stepped the vibrations up to the next mode.
You felt his lips parting so he could flit his tongue on your skin from time-to-time. And as you rode the sensations higher, more sounds fell from your mouth. Containing them felt entirely beyond your control and your face coloured with more pink as he heard every honest reaction.
He adjusted how his weight rested, lying his body on your legs as he progressed to kissing beneath your waistline. Your hands went to the pillow, gripping it as a means of supporting yourself as you anticipated what might be next.
The surprise was more than you could fathom when your clit was encapsulated by unique vibrations. Your mouth opened but no words came out as your brain struggled to make sense of what you were experiencing. The massage on your clitoral hood existed independent of the work of the stimulating wand, which he was continuing to hold at your entrance. This didn’t deliver the moisture from his lips, and you could still feel those on your belly, anyway.
You didn’t know what created the sensation, but you did know that you liked it. You watched the unreal stars growing, completely blind to anything else as your mind focused on the present.
“There’s the surprise I wanted.” He said, the stimulants persisting at the two spots on your crotch.
“Oh, uh-huh.” You gasped as your back arched.
“And have I found a toy you aren’t familiar with?” He asked, his tone a little gloating.
“I think so.” You said, slowly adjusting to this unrelenting intensity.
You guessed that he was no longer within kissing range, now his voice seemed to be coming from a spot close to your hip. It wasn’t much of a leap to presume he was getting a close-up view of how your pussy was reacting to his treatment.
“This fun little tool is a clit sucker.” He said as the pulsations continued to engulf the hood.
“I definitely don’t need to use a veto for that.” You said.
He chuckled. “That’s good baby, that’s really good.”
He took the wand away from your pussy. You weren’t sure where it was relocated to, you just took the opportunity to concentrate fully on what was happening to your clitoral hood.
When the pulsations came in harder, you could only guess how much he had turned it up by. Were there more powerful levels he intended to use on you?
It didn’t feel the exact same as having a pair of lips sucking on your sensitive peak. But it felt wonderful in its own way, consistently getting you more excited, until your toes started to curl.
All of a sudden there was an external heat at your entrance, with him pressing a kiss onto your pussy lips. Your heart skipped a few beats and you awaited more.
It didn’t take long for him to initiate another kiss, then another - more-and-more until it felt like he was making out with your entrance. He sampled how your desires tasted with some swipes of his tongue. All the while he kept the active toy sucker on your clit.
His tongue began moving into you, prompting your thighs to quiver and shake. More noises began to swell up in your chest and you bit into your lower lip, feeling unwilling to fully share them. He lapped in deeper, and greedy (yet incoherent) whines came from you, barely muffled. You sucked on your lip as great chunks fell out of your composure.
“Hey, hang on…” He said once his lips were detached from your cunt. “No, no, no, don’t hurt that pretty lip.”
You stopped what you were doing before you had fully understood what he said. You lifted your head from the pillow, momentarily forgetting that the eye mask blocked your vision.
“That’s my lip to bite on, to suck, to play with- I’m gonna be the reason it’s swollen tomorrow, okay?” He said. You hoped that your continuing wiggling wouldn’t be perceived as you not listening (something worth punishment). You simply couldn’t hold yourself still, not while the sucking device was working its magic. You nodded your head to prove that you were paying attention, trying your best to behave.
“If you really need something to bite down on…”
“Not the ball-gag.” You said quickly.
“No, no, I wouldn’t dream of bringing it back.” He instantly reassured you. “Here, bite on this if you need to.”
Something flat nudged against your lip and you complied by opening your mouth. Your mouth was only partially filled. As you shut it, the confusion left you, he had given you the flexible paddle to set your teeth into. Or at least that was what you guessed it to be. You could comfortably close your lips around it, keeping it in place without his assistance.
“Is that good?” He asked and you gave him the only answer you could of nodding your head. “And what about this?”
He seemed to refocus on how he was holding the sucking device to your clit, bringing it closer so that you could feel its pulsations with complete consistency again. Appreciatively your hips bucked up, which made the toy’s power all the more apparent. The makeshift-gag muffled your whimper.
“Yeah, that’s good for you, huh?” He asked. “And this is probably even better.”
He turned the vibrations up and your jaw clenched, your teeth locking onto the paddle. You raised your bound hands up to your face as you felt yourself getting lost for the moment. The intensity was huge, making you feel like all of your senses were being overwhelmed. How could you grasp for even a shred of composure in your current state?
He parted the device from your clitoris and it felt like you could come back to yourself a little. The breaths you drew were shaky, but they were full.
Then his tongue returned to your cunt. This slower stimulation felt like exactly what you needed, with him lapping appreciatively at the moisture. You lowered your hands and stopped gritting your teeth against the paddle as you started to settle into this sensation.
He slowly dragged his tongue up to your clitoral hood. You blindly reached your hands out, placing them on his head with your fingers exploring the soft strands of hair. Your lungs filled with more (needed) air as he gently drew circles around your sensitive nub.
Before you could get too invested in this progression, the intensity sharply increased with the reintroduction of the sucking device. You gave a dramatic twitch beneath him.
The thrilling vibrations were taking you back to that place with no thoughts and limited control. The quivering in your thighs was soon accompanied by the thrusting of your hips. They moved according to their own rhythm, just trying to make use of all of this feverish excitement. It accelerated the effects of the device.
But you didn’t find the ideal pacing, because the device was taken away too soon. This void was filled by his mouth before too long. As he worked his tongue and lips on your clit, you decided that this felt better than the device - this was the sublime experience of having your clit sucked.
The toy couldn’t replicate this perfectly. But when he switched it back, you still found plenty to enjoy of how it treated your clitoral hood, keeping your mind blissfully blank. It was a solid consolation, you couldn’t deny how titillating its vibrations were.
He kept switching from one to the other, your clit consistently stimulated and the tingles this brought to your body only grew more pronounced. You gave in more with each switch, beginning to see each as your path to orgasm.
But he never quite let you get that high. You spat the paddle out of your mouth, letting him hear your noises louder, in the hopes this would persuade him to allow you to ride this excitement to its logical end.
You pumped your hips, patience wavering as you tried to match him, tried to find the essential synergy. Your hands in his hair curled into unthreatening fists, gripping as more of your desperation showcased itself.
“Sir…” You whimpered, hoping you had found the cheat code to make him give you exactly what you wanted.
He applied more pressure with his tongue as he repeatedly worked it up-and-down against your clitoral hood. In response you lifted your ass higher off the bed. Your pussy was brought flush to his face as he seemed focused on working your clit in this promising way. His hand grabbed your butt as you delivered thrust after thrust into his face. The stars in your eyes got even brighter as it began to feel like your body was floating. A powerful fire burnt in your gut, with involuntary sounds falling from your mouth (you were too enchanted to feel self-conscious over whether the sounds were to his liking or not).
Your next noise was a loud and mournful moan when he took his mouth off of you. You kept your hands in his hair, even as your arms shook. The seconds without feeling anything from him seemed to stretch out.
“Please, don’t stop.” You said as he kept you waiting.
“Oh, so you’re not a fan of edging?” He asked, his tone so casual.
“I can’t say that I am.” You said, squirming in your wet-thighed anticipation.
“But the noises you’re making are just so nice, so so sexy, can you really blame me for wanting to savour them? I’ve been waiting a long time to hear you like this.” He said.
You huffed, trying to find the winning approach as you pouted again. “But-but don’t you wanna know how I’ll sound when I come? Aren’t you curious about hearing that noise?”
He caressed your ass now, still not giving you what felt as essential as oxygen. “I suppose that’s the noise I really want to hear. But I didn’t know that you wanted to come.”
“Damiano.” You substituted the curse words populating your brain for his name.
“What?” He asked, playing at being oblivious. “How am I supposed to know what you want unless you tell me?”
“Is that what this is about, you’ve been waiting for me to say it?” You asked.
“Uh-huh. I wanna hear you say exactly what you want. I wanna hear your dirty talk.” He said.
You shifted your legs, feeling a seed of insecurity over the possibility of doing this wrong. You wanted to sound sexy for him - but did you know how?
“Don’t overthink it.” He told you, demonstrating a superior intuition of what you could be thinking thanks to how long he had known you. “Just say what you want, that’s all I’m looking for.”
“Well, I wanna… I wanna come.” You said, feeling like you were stating the absolute obvious.
His fingers caressed your butt and it was the only thing that you had to hold onto.
“Uh-huh, and who’s gonna make you come?” He asked.
“You. I want you to make me come.” You said, before rushing to add. “Please.”
“Good girl.” He said. “How do you want me to make you come?”
Fingers playing in his hair, you considered making a joke. You could poke fun at him by saying that it was more than dirty talk he was after: he was going to have you write an essay of how you wanted to achieve an orgasm before he actually made it happen.
You wet your lips as you let this half-baked idea go. You chose to not get distracted. “I want your lips and your tongue.”
“Want them to do what?” He prompted.
“Please, I want you to use them on my pussy to make me come.” You said, too impatient to feel embarrassed over saying something so explicit. “Please.”
This proved to be what he needed to hear. Without a further word, he returned his mouth to your pussy, satisfying the way you burnt to feel more.
He didn’t come at you with any of the toys (both known and not). Instead he was finding his own rhythm with just his mouth and you let out an appreciative moan. Your hands rested on the back of his head as you got drunk on how these wonderful sensations were building. He kept one of his hands on your ass, a secure hold that was matched by the way he gripped at the top of your thigh, maintaining the distance between your legs that he wanted.
He created something of a seal around your clitoral hood with his lips, then applied his tongue to it. He played with the peak, seeing how far he could push it and experimenting with your responses to different patterns. You could focus on every swirl, no stops or toys to interrupt the flow. It was simpler than before, but it was such an effective way of blowing your mind.
He moved his tongue up-and-down consistently, not letting his mouth slip even slightly. The pressure was fantastic and you capitalised on this by thrusting your hips, driving your pussy into his face again. Your hands gripped his hair, needing him to stay where he was.
It didn’t matter how hard or fast you grinded, his mouth never failed you. You felt your chest hollowing and it seemed that you became smaller, so easily dwarfed by the immense pleasure.
Your breaths were marked by little whimpers as the effort took more-and-more from you. But you knew it would be worth it, getting blinded by the imaginary stars.
He made a slurping sound as he worked to keep the moisture in his mouth. The suck that corresponded with this brought a tremendous quake through your core.
You were irrevocably overpowered, levitating off of the bed further than before. Your fingers gripped onto his hair as you began to greet that lovely edge.
“Yes.” You whined, feeling how good it was to let everything go. “Oh my God, yes.”
You began to come undone, getting lost entirely.
There was an unexpected spike, the pleasure hitting a new level when he reintroduced the wand vibrator. You felt the pulsations in your clitoris as your pussy enjoyed the climax.
It was a spectacular explosion, the aftershocks still racing through you even after the vibrator was taken away. You didn’t know how to pull yourself back together, but for now you didn’t care.
The brightness of the room came back to your attention before you had opened your eyes. He had pushed the eye mask out of the way, allowing the light to push against your eyelids. The corners of your lips started to lift into a smile.
“Feeling that extra merriment now?” He asked before his lips captured yours for a moment.
“So much.” You said. “The merriest ever.”
“But I haven’t finished showing you all the surprises in my sack.” He said.
“And you still haven’t taken that silly costume off.” You said.
“It’s part of my character and it’s effective.” He said in his own defence before he seemingly had a realisation. He sat back on his knees and reached for the bottom of the green shirt. “But I guess it has served its purpose.”
He discarded the shirt and you were finally given the luxury of your eyes exploring his torso with little to no shyness. You could study like you never had before, really fixating on the details. You could notice and be enticed by everything that you saw.
You were grateful when he didn’t hesitate to take his jeans down. But just watching wasn’t enough to satisfy the desires swirling through you.
You extended your arms out. But before your hands could reach the waistband of his briefs, he stopped you by grabbing the chain that connected your handcuffs. He gave you a stern, but not disapproving, look as he used the chain to direct your hands closer to your chest.
“You haven’t learnt how to be patient yet?” He asked and you instantly identified this as a challenge.
It wasn’t a challenge you could ignore. “I guess I haven’t fully grasped the concept.”
You saw his eyes flicker, but the movement that corresponded with it was too quick for you to see. Instead of seeing him pick up the paddle, you felt its return to the scene.
He slapped the flat object against the side of your thigh, instantly compelling you to ditch any further challenges. Your breath hitched as you felt your leg heat and sting. You were caught off-guard by this sensation, needing to pause to figure out your own reaction.
His eyes were on your face, he was holding the paddle up, his arm tensed as if to strike again. But he didn’t follow through. At first you were reminded of a video that was buffering.
Then you realised he was waiting for your consent. And you gave it. You licked your lips as you turned your hips a little, presenting him with more thigh, and even some butt, to spank. You kept your hands to yourself, lying on your chest in what seemed like a safe zone.
The next slap from the paddle surprised you less, now you knew how to register the feeling. You liked it, hoping your skin would glow pink in a way that would please him.
There were no words coming to mind because the seconds between each spank were filled by you trying to prepare for the next. Then when it came, your mind went totally blank. As the sting radiated out, you began the climb of anticipation again. Your body was filling with tension, growing more intense. But you held onto the faith that he would be able to resolve all of it.
Another satisfying slap filled the quiet in the room. You heard his heavy breathing as more heat filled into the raised side of your butt. You still weren’t feeling pain from the continuing spanks, it was a sharp sensation and each time it cut through absolutely everything else. Your enjoyment was only increasing.
He pulled his arm back and your eyes fluttered shut as you awaited the next strike. Instead, he spoke. “Do you feel like having another try at behaving correctly?” He placed the paddle against your ass, resting it against the curve. “Or would you rather be a naughty girl?” Your need to be cheeky had definitely dulled. “There’s something I really want to show you from my sack. But I’m not about to share it with a naughty girl.”
“I’ll be good.” You said. “I’ll be very good, sir.”
He smiled, starting to lean down. Before his mouth could meet yours, he gave you another slap from the paddle. You couldn’t help flinching but you loved how it felt, settling into the feeling as he kissed you again. You let out a little whimper, your hands going to his hot pectorals.
Before you could get too accustomed to how his bare skin felt on yours, he pulled away. He ditched the paddle as he stood up.
He brought a small, slim box out of the sack. He moved too quickly for you to properly gain all of the details from the box. The device that came from it wasn’t familiar. It was matte black, probably made of silicone. It had two thin prongs, which kind of resembled legs, coming together at a compact disc. You kept your eyes on it, willing clarity to come.
He set it down on the bed, beside your leg, then proceeded to get something new from the bag. This next thing was far more straight-forward - a box of condoms. He collected one of the packaged items before getting back to taking his pants off. As soon as they were lowered, he took his underwear down as well. There was no missing how keen he was - immediately the stiffness of his dick confirmed that you had succeeded in turning him on.
There was a portion of yourself that felt self-conscious for wanting his cock so much. But overwhelmingly, you felt excited. All of the lust that had been developing now had a place to land.
He started at the tip, covering it then unrolling the latex further. As you watched this motion, you thought about what it would be like to experience his dick for the first time purely through taste. It was an intriguing and enticing fantasy, it didn’t seem farfetched to assume he would greatly enjoy it too, continuing your seduction.
But then you realised he didn’t want you to have any thoughts at all. At once you tried to empty your mind.
When he picked the tong-esque item up, you noticed a second, detached disc, but he held this in the palm of his hand, downplaying any significance.
“Did I bring another surprise?” He asked.
“Yeah, I have no idea what that is. I might be able to guess what it does.”
“You can guess, if you wanna. Or I could tell you and explain it. Or I could show you.” He said, entertained even in this in-between moment.
“Show me, please sir.” The answer seemed so obvious to you.
He grinned as he climbed up, placing his knees on the bed. “I really like it when you call me that.”
“Then I guess I have no choice but to keep saying it.”
Remaining above you, he placed the new device on you, its legs reaching toward your mound. At first you felt only the faint hint of its weight and nothing else.
Then he pressed a button on the tiny remote in his hand, and the disc on your lower tummy silently began to vibrate. It wasn’t too intense straight away, but it was enough to make you smile. He dragged it closer to your cunt and you worked to not squirm in your anticipation. You looked from the strangely-shaped device to his face - naturally he was still smiling, as his eyes glittered.
“But what do these little legs do?” He asked the question that was on your mind.
He picked the toy up and showed you how the prongs could be repositioned, bending them with little to no resistance. He curved them to face opposite directions and you were doing a lot of thinking trying to figure out the advantages of this. Was it supposed to go inside of you? It looked too thin, but you guessed the capability to hit two different angles at once had a lot of potential.
“Uh-huh, and what’s the point of that?” He asked.
He answered by taking the toy down, towards his dick as he changed the bend in the legs again. He placed it over his length, the connecting disc at the top. He gave the legs another repositioning twist, one at a time wrapping them around his cock, close to the base. He got this adjustable cock ring how he wanted, the ends of the legs crossed over at his balls.
“That’s a great surprise.” You said, showing him that you were less confused.
“You like looking at it, wait until you feel it. Wait until this pad is vibrating against your clit while I’m fucking you so deep.” He said.
Your legs were already spread, it was hard to know how much longer you would be able to hold yourself back. “Show me, sir?”
This earned you the proximity that came with making out. You lifted your arms out of the way, passing the cuff’s chain over his head. You rested your hands at the base of his neck as his body pressed so perfectly on top of yours. You settled into one another, lips working together as the synergy kept strengthening.
With no hesitation, you moved deeper into the lust. Your thighs clung to his hips as his tongue tasted and played with your bottom lip. Your tensed body wanted to melt for him more than anything.
He sucked on your lip as he started to sink down into you, accepted by your thoroughly-primed pussy. You identified this as the best sensation of the night, instantly superior to the toys, and definitely worth waiting for. Your fingers curled, grasping for his hair as you stretched to accommodate him further.
His body settled on top of you, fitting in between your legs. This closeness brought even more excitement - you already knew that he would be able to take you to another stunning peak. He had more energy to give to your pleasure.
Rather than seeking the greatest penetration at once, he gave you time to adjust. He was going to build to the moment of overwhelming you. For now he tested his range of movement, pumping his hips so you could feel the potential of what he could do with his shaft.
Gradually he worked himself deeper. You couldn’t help imposing little breaks between kisses as the pressure increased inside of you. 
It wasn’t long before you gave up from trying to keep up with his mouth altogether, a parting suck applied to your lip before you leaned your head slightly back. You decided to give your attention to moving your hips, attempting to match his affectionate pace.
Before you could truly sync yourself to him, the vibrating toy collided with you, surprising you momentarily beyond comprehension. Your hips dramatically jutted up as your mind slowly began to catch up. You shook as you adjusted to this new intensity.
It seemed your vulnerability was clear because he paused to ask. “Are you okay, bella? Is it too much?”
You arched your back to press into him, smiling. “Oh, it’s good. It’s really fucking good.”
“You don’t need your safe word?” He asked, still not moving.
“Absolutely not.” You said.
You opened your eyes and lifted your head in the pursuit of capturing his lips in a kiss. It didn't matter how short on breath you were feeling, you prioritised cultivating your connection with these excited kisses.
You also drove your hips forward, craving the beginnings of friction. He stopped hesitating and grabbed your butt as he gave you a push, moving in deeper. You couldn’t help whimpering as he delivered another thrust.
He swiftly and confidently took the lead - it made you want to call him sir repeatedly.
With each pump from him, you had begun to feel the silicone legs of the toy wrapped around his dick. You felt the smooth material rubbing against your pussy, but you had yet to register the vibrations (not that you felt you needed it).
You rested your head in the curve of his neck, unable to keep up with his kisses. But you were managing to stay with the pacing of his hips. You met every strike, lengthening each motion and giving you even more to enjoy. His energy was matching and coming together with yours as it had so many times over the past two years - but in a brand new way, more intense than you would have associated with him.
This was the most important mutual goal you had ever worked toward with him. You stuck with him, even as the threat of getting overwhelmed crept in again.
As everything wanted to shatter around you, he remained your constant. Listening to his raspy breaths kept you from getting entirely lost. Your short nails pressed into his skin and your nostrils were filled with the enticing scent of his sweat mixed with cologne. You didn’t care about anything beyond his body.
The tender massage between your inner-walls got even deeper, touching at a depth his tongue hadn’t reached. It brought the stars back to your shut eyes, but they were so much bigger and brighter now.
“Fuck.” You exclaimed in response to feeling the vibrations on your clit again.
Your gut clenched as you rode this sensation higher. He let you enjoy this stimulation, not rocking back according to the earlier pacing. Your cunt fluttered and spasmed around him. This prompted some cuss words from him too.
He writhed against you, barely pulling his hips away. Instead he completed some quasi-thrusts, seeing what else could be gained from this closeness. 
When he returned to full motion, it was absolutely electric. The quick touches of the vibrator to your clitoral hood were enough to keep you reeling.
The perfect synergy of your bodies soon brought you back to the edge. Little ecstatic cries began to fall from your lips.
“Yes, uh yes, yes-yes.” You stammered as you failed to meet more than a few of his bucks.
He kissed across your forehead, something so affectionate was in direct contrast with the frantic rhythm of his body. “Merry Christmas, babe.”
Hearing that wholesome phrase was so unexpected that it felt out of place and you couldn’t help but laugh. This noise transformed quickly into an audibly strangled breath as he plunged all the way in again.
There was no composure left for you to regain. Even as he adopted slow and shorter strokes, you were helplessly overstimulated.
He put his hands to your sides, a determined hold. He kept his hips pressed against yours as he grinded into you repeatedly. The vibrator was directly on your clit, the pulsations were ready to devastate you.
“It feels like you’re ready to come.” He said. “Are you?”
The prospect of him edging you again occurred to you, and you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist before you answered. (You didn’t know how you would cope if he put you through more of that.) “Yes, yes sir, I am.”
He spared you any further teasing, he didn’t retract. He stayed close, quickly snapping his hips. He whimpered as he kept working his tip on your sensitive walls.
You held him tighter (your cunt clenching too), giving yourself up to the pressure that just kept rising. Your hips stuttered at their own tempo, there was no rhyme or reason to it, simply moving to express some of your excitement. He didn’t correct this behaviour, letting you continue as everything began to come together.
Your gut tightened and you had to bite your lip to stop the loudest noises from getting free. He moaned your name over the consistent sound of your skin slapping together.
“Oh, fuck. I think I’m…” His pitch changed and you noticed how he had begun to be plagued by tremors. “Yeah, I’m gonna come, like right now.”
You were holding onto his taut shoulders as you opened your eyes. As he remained in motion, you saw the look of concentration on his face. Instantly you were enthralled by the idea of seeing him become complete, as you were on the threshold of.
“Yeah?” You asked.
“Yeah. Oh yes, yes, yes.” He said, his eyes squeezed shut as he kept rubbing into that deepest part of you. “Yes, yes, fuckin’ yes.”
You wanted to watch him driving to that point of perfection. But the relentless pulsing against your clitoris was stealing your focus, insisting that you fall apart. The fluttering of your eyelids became harder to fight against.
There was a powerful moan that was swelling in your throat as he suddenly became rigid. He pressed against you firmly, loudly trying and failing to catch his breath. You felt how he shivered on top of you, demonstrating less control than any other point of the night.
The pressure caused by having him so close (and deep), with the vibrating disc still on your clitoris, was enough to take you over the edge. Your pussy clenched around his shaft as the orgasm dawned throughout your entire body. Biting your lip wasn’t enough to stifle the cries that your revelation brought out. You were stunned on every possible level.
Even once the vibrator’s massage was over, and he had pulled out, you still felt like you were on the verge of breaking apart again. Moving was beyond your capabilities right now and you thought it would be easier to fall asleep than recover.
“Oh my God.” You gasped when upon opening your eyes, your vision filled with him. The reality of this situation was beginning to settle in, things were clearer now.
“You alright?” He asked as he moved closer to free your wrists from the restraints.
“Uh-huh, I don’t feel like I need to say Grinch, still.” You said.
“I wasn’t going to make fun of you, but you really did pick the dorkiest possible safe word.” He said, wearing a cheeky smile.
You rolled your eyes and pulled up the top of the blanket. “It suits you, then.” This earned you a laugh from him. Before you could slip into the old and familiar teasing, you stayed tapped into this vulnerability. “You’re gonna stay, right?”
He smiled as he finished removing the cuffs, then he swept in to kiss you. “Of course, I would love nothing more than to stay with you, bella.”
As his fingers caressed your cheeks, you kissed him. This led to another, then another, at a slower pace than before because you knew you didn’t need to rush. This was an affectionate yet lazy continuation of your intimacy.
It didn’t develop into anything more, he simply laid down with you. You wrapped your arms around him, the two of you sharing looks that lingered longer than what you would have classified as normal.
You didn’t need to ask him to move his limbs, he hadn’t positioned himself in a way that had brought you any discomfort. You liked the way his arms fit around your waist. You didn’t need to put any of your clothes back on, this embrace had you feeling warm enough.
He broke the silence, speaking softly and at the sound of that you didn’t feel like you needed to prepare any witty retorts. “Thank you for trusting me. This was one of the biggest gambles of my life, and I feel lucky that you were willing to go along with it.”
“I’m glad I could maintain my unbroken streak of always going along with your ideas.” You said, able to see the smile he wore even in the limited lighting. “You mean the world to me, I’m always gonna trust you.”
Maybe more could have been said - there wasn’t a finite amount of emotions to be told. But the silence didn’t bother you. You didn’t feel obligated to speak: to win him over or otherwise make this moment. You were so content, running your fingers through his hair until sleep arrived.
*** *** ***
You began hearing a consistent tinkling, fun and non-abrasive, but persistent enough to keep you from falling asleep again. You didn’t open your eyes, trying to determine the source without seeing it. You were floating in the daze of not yet awake, the world covered by a kind of fuzziness. You rolled onto your side, yet to realise that Damiano was missing from your bed.
Your thoughts were clearing up as you continued to listen to the jingling. As you readjusted the warm blanket over your bare form, you recognised this gentle, non-rhythmic music. You had heard it very recently, even though it wasn’t a regular fixture in your home.
It was the silly bell from the elf hat. You were certain of this, opening your eyes at once. You lifted your head from the pillow, too curious to resist now. You looked around, trying to gain as much information from the room as possible.
You found Damiano was sitting on the carpet and he had the novelty hat in hand, jostling the fabric so that the bell would dance in the air. It was shaking and bobbing directly in front of your cat.
Seeing Iggy was the last thing you needed to drag yourself fully out of sleep. You hadn’t expected to see this, but he looked completely at ease. In the two years that you had owned him, he had never played with anyone but you. In all of his visits to your home, Damiano had only managed to briefly pet the cat, with Iggy always maintaining his strict disinterest in outsiders.
But now he was playing, seemingly totally invested. He sat so close to Damiano’s legs, those predatory eyes fixed on the silver bell. Damiano swung it close to Iggy and he picked up both of his front feet to swipe at it. The whole time, Damiano was beaming, so clearly enjoying this brand new experience.
“I don’t believe it…” You said, keeping your voice low to avoid startling your cat.
Damiano kept the hat in motion as he looked at you. “Crazy, huh? I guess he finally decided that I’m not his enemy. I didn’t even need to use any catnip to bribe him into this.”
“It’s a legitimate Christmas miracle.” You said. Reflecting back on how Iggy had shunned the attention of all of your past partners, this didn’t seem like an exaggeration to say.
“I know, right?” He said. “He was sitting there looking at it on the ground when I woke up. And I thought he would run away as soon as I got out of bed.” His words were accompanied by the music of the bell, which you were coming to enjoy more. “But…”
His face fell when Iggy began to walk away, unhurriedly going to the opened door. “Oh, now he’s leaving.” Iggy didn’t look back, disappearing without a sound. “He’s done with me, I guess.”
“Bye, sweetie.” You called after your pet.
“Damn, I miss him already.” He said sadly.
You couldn’t stop smiling. “He hates everyone.”
He shrugged a shoulder. “I’m better than those other nobodies. That’s just how it is.”
You giggled. “You’re still naked.”
He got up on his knees, walking his way toward the bed in this fashion. “So are you. We’re just hanging out, naked.”
“I like it.” You said, sitting up higher as he got closer to you.
“Yeah, me too.” He said.
He reached the side of the bed, just slightly beneath eye-level. He leaned in, his eyes going to your lips as you put your hands on either side of his face. You kissed him, slowly, enjoying this indulgence just as you had last night.
“How are you feeling?” He asked, keeping his face close to yours.
“I’m good.”
“Yeah? You haven’t got any sore spots that I need to kiss better?” He asked.
You pushed one of your hands up the nape of his neck, into his hair. “Nuh-uh, no spore spots, no regrets.”
“That’s fantastic, babe.” He said before moving in for more kisses.
You managed to drag your tongue along the line where his lips met, before he eased back. You were left with building cravings.
“I’ve been awake for a little while, and I’ve had time to check Santa’s sack. It appears that there’s still something in there for you, one more thing.” He said.
“Oh, but it’s too early to be calling me a naughty girl. At least, I think it’s too early.” You realised that you hadn’t seen any form of clock, or even glanced at the window.
“This isn’t something for a naughty girl.” He said. “This is a gift.”
“Well in that case: gimme!” You said enthusiastically.
He laughed as he got up, going over to where the sack had been sitting overnight. He picked out an item that was wrapped in festive paper. You smiled, ready to love it, even with no inclination of what it might be. He handed it to you, taking a seat at the edge of the bed with you.
“I hope you like it.” He said as you started tearing away the wrapping.
“I have no doubt that it’s going to be amazing.”
Beneath the paper, you found a sleeve of protective bubble wrap. In here was your gift, a rectangular photo frame. You recognised the series of small photos from a photo booth at the cinema you usually visited. The five photos showed you and Damiano, side-by-side, making various faces for the different photos. You hadn’t seen these photos for two years, you had no idea he still had them.
“Oh wow, this is from forever ago.” You said, seeing how happy the two of you appeared.
“Yeah, do you remember this? It’s from when you dragged me to that midnight screening.” He said.
You rolled your eyes, unimpressed by how he was attempting to rewrite history. “I just said that I wondered what those were like, how the vibes were. And you said you would try it with me for Endgame’s premiere. There was no dragging involved.” You jabbed your pointer finger into the air before he had a chance to cut you off. “And it definitely wasn’t my fault that you fell asleep less than halfway through the movie.”
“I had been touring for months. It’s a miracle that I didn’t fall asleep while we were taking these photos.” He said. “I thought you might like to have these, like a time capsule of us being nerdy together.”
“I love it. I’m gonna put it somewhere that I’ll see it every day.” You said. “Just looking at it, it’s like I can feel how much fun we had that night… before you fell asleep.”
He eased your unruly hair back from your face. “You are really cute when you’re telling me that I’m wrong, did you know that?”
There was the beginning of a blush in your cheeks as you looked at him. “I know now.”
With a smile, you closed the distance between your bodies with a kiss. His arm slipped around you. You didn’t feel like you had sacrificed any of the significance of the friendship showcased in these old photos. Nothing needed to be lost on the path to this new level.
“If you check under my tree, you’ll find there’s a gift for you there.” You told him.
He grinned. “Really? You always get me the best gifts.”
“Why don’t you go get it?” You asked.
“I was thinking that I would open it later.” He said. “Like when I’m opening other presents with my family. And maybe you could be there too?”
“You want me to spend Christmas with your family?” You asked, thoroughly surprised.
“Don’t you think that would be better than spending the day alone? There’s no racist or otherwise weird uncles to ruin the vibe. My dad is a really great cook. And I’ll drive. And I don’t have to introduce you as anything more than my best friend if it feels too early for that.” He said.
Your heart had started fluttering as you listened to him. Now you picked up one of his hands, squeezing it as you found another of his appealing ideas to go along with. “What time do we need to leave?”
»»————- ♡ ————-««  
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indieyuugure · 1 year ago
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You said we got two chapters of ROTP left.
Does that include "End Game" or no?
Also; I am sad ROTP is coming to a close soon, but I am also happy it is going to have a proper ending. Excited to see the last couple or few chapters or so. Including that chapter full of fluff and wholesome stuff!
Also, to see Rise Casey w/ Ninpo go off. The last few parts or so have been so great, but also, Rise Leo and Donnie and Casey, and 2012 Leo are really going through things. I love the angst, and the badass stuff, but also, poor them!
I am so going to buy the physical versions of ROTP if u can do that. I love having physical stuff of stuff I love. If I can and/or if possible.
I am very excited to see/read TMS (and then Indie way/more later after that) after ROTP is done.
The last two chapters are End Game and Owari. So exactly 2 chapters left, including End Game.
I’m kind of sad too, but I think I’d much rather end it in a nice concise way than draw it out forever. I’m also extremely excited to begin work on TMS and later Indie TMNT, so I have lots to look forward to ^v^
There will be printed copies, yes! I’m still working out how I’m gonna do it, but so far I’ve figured there’ll probably be a way to pre-order them since getting the books printed is VERY expensive, so making sure I’m printing only as many as I need will be best. But, idk, I’ll figure something out :]
Good questions! :]
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clovenhoofedjester · 9 months ago
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jellicle lineups; part 1/4
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hi catsblur ! today i am presenting to you the fruits of my labor. my own little versions of the jellicle cats; obviously based on the replica designs With Fun Little Twists ! such as, they are not naked. ramble below the cut, both on designs and some personal thoughts on the characters
these designs are very much first-draft, subject to change, blah blah. you will very likely be seeing me drawing them differently if i post more of them. i just. urrbhhh. i had 2 draw them....
and the clothes ! even though they're very feline i draw them a bit too human-y for the nakedness to not look consistently weird. i will be drawing them closer to the stage designs in some instances but for rn. clothes. it was a fun exercise in character design too
the kittens are all young adults, think 18-20 ! as much as i love headcanons like demeter being sillabubs mother, it shrimply will not work out timeline-wise. so headcanons like that will be delegated to like... siblings and stuff
victoria | 🍧 💌 🩰
i started out with victoria's design not only because of her being the Main Kitten, but because she has such a concise and clear aesthetic to me. she actually started out with a simple pastel brown dance practice fit before i decided that i wanted to make the outfits ornate(ish) and ended up with a proper ballerina getup
i also quite like when victoria is not just solid white with some grey (love ones that are more yellow or brown) so i colored her fur with some blue and pink-ish tones not only to add more depth but to resemble the trans flag LOL
and i wanted to try something different with making her a bit more lavender than baby pink. i also based her overall look on obc victoria, portrayed by cynthia onrubia :^]
to move on to character interpretation, i think victoria is partially deaf and mute. she primarily communicates through dance. as one of the oldest kittens she'd be 19 in human years
plato | 💐 🕯 🍬
plato's design doesnt stray too far from his standard replica design but i tried to add my own flair . i tried to keep the creepy porcelain doll aesthetic going w their face added some more depth like some other designs with different colors and bold face stripes
i also really like the outfit i chose for them. the flower in their hair and on their shirt is a peony which is a popular wedding flower :") because im a sucker for platoria and very much subscribe to the idea that the ball we see is their funny cat wedding in a way
the outfit is based on standard ballerino costumes but i tried to stray from it with the silky half-skirt thing and pointe shoes. lets go queer cats lets go
i think plato is also very quiet and that's why he and victoria were so drawn to each other. i also quite like the idea that he was a bit of a troubled stray before he found the jellicles. they would be 20 in human years
electra |⚡🥭 🔔
boy i STRUGGLED with electra's clothes i struggled so hard. i think i'm happy with what i ended up with though—i originally gave her the babydoll dress that sillabub has (inspired by artsed electra) but figured that i wanted at least one of the girls to be more tomboyish/butchy. thank you to that one production which apparently had electra be one of the raffish crew and get in on some of the boys' choreography
im very happy with what i did with her fur colors as well. silly little tortoiseshell :] its based on a nonrep but i have no idea which one. enjoy her freckles too
i think electra deserves to be a little spunky. [whispers] i also think shes bombalurinas little sister. she'd be 18 in human years
etcetera | 🎠 🍯 🏅
i needed at least one cat with a circus aesthetic. say hello to my magnum opus: jacked tumbler acrobat etcetera. it was only a matter of time until someone said fuck it and let one of the girls perform lifts and stuff. this is mostly because ive always really liked how shes usually the cat to do the flying trapeze bit and wanted to push it further
i also struggled SO EXTREMELY HARD with making her colors look nice and makeup distinctive but i figured it out in the end—thank you obc cettie for the mismatched eyeshadow and such. i also wanted to give a cat a short bob type of head fur/hairstyle and she fit the bill
nothing much about specific character notes other than like... i want to make her related to some of the cats but cannot for the life of me figure out who 2 assign. also she'd be around 19 in human years, a couple months younger than vic
sillabub | 🌻 🧋 🎼
i think of all of these little fellas sillabub is my favorite. several elements are balanced in her design—the standard jemima with a darker/reddish palette, the more softer and lighter sillabub design, the red eye patch from il sistina jemima, and the overall aesthetic of obc jemima with the big hair and wide, deepset eyes
i've seen her typical design critiqued by some people and wanted to incorporate those critiques by making her look less similar to demeter/bombalurina, adding more red to her body fur, and making her makeup more distinct and less... wooo girl give us nothing. and i included the squiggly on her collarbone
i also really REALLY love her overall aesthetic of sweet kindhearted girl NAMED AFTER A DEMON WITH SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG COLORING AND GIGANTIC SPIKED COLLAR !!!! so i decided to push it by making the collar definitely too big for her, giving her a slightly "edgy" outfit and making her hair resemble devil horns
as for character stuff, i think she has magical powers though i haven't developed exactly What they are yet. beyond her sweet exterior they trouble her. [whispers] i also think shes demeters little sister. she would be 18 in human years, a few months younger than electra and tumblebrutus
pouncival | 🌱 🩹 🍵
i struggled with pouncival's clothing design like i did electra's because i didn't go into drawing him with a particular gimmick in mind. but i think i'm happy with the casual formal look. it makes him look like such a kind young man even if he's a little shit
i did have a lot of fun trying to make his makeup distinctive from tumblebrutus'—so many fellas with brown eyepatches ! so his colors are more dark and striking. i also tried to make him look less like Typical Cis Man by giving him a bit of black lipstick
enjoy his freckles too
but like. i think hes literally such a little cis guy. nothing else for me to add for my specific interpretation of him it's all laid out. this guy fucking loves rocket league, fishing and chess. he'd be 19 in human years
tumblebrutus | 🎡 🥊 🍦
SWEET TUMBLEBRUTUS. i think drawing him here gave me a soft spot for him. with his outfit mirroring cettie's i didn't much struggle with that. his colors are also based on obc tumblebrutus
when i was first conceptualizing my own versions of the cats i wanted at least one of them asides from grizabella to have wavy fur. and idk what it is, maybe it's the lack of content for him, but i was really drawn to the idea of curly tumblebrutus!
i wanted their design to be distinctive from pouncival's so i made their colors softer, kinda watercolor-y. OH AND THEIR FUR IS ALSO MEANT TO BE A LITTLE TRANS FLAG COLORED
as for character, i think he is also a bit troubled, as a son of grizabella's. you heard me, people. i'm probably the first person ever to headcanon that. he'd be 18 in human years
AND THAT'S ABOUT IT ! thank you for reading this far, have a great day and stay tuned for more designs in the days to come !
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suckishima · 2 months ago
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kagehina, sakuatsu, yamayachi, kiyoyachi?
Ohhhh so many omg I'll try to keep this concise.
Kagehina: Absolutely makes sense, oddly does not compel me (at least romantically)
I go crazy insane for them as like narrative soulmates, rivals who are obsessed with each other for life. They both have this insatiable hunger for the sport that makes them feed off of each other in this singular way that I can't imagine either of them would ever have with anyone else. Furudate is a genius for the way they intertwine the kagehina relationship, it's so fucking good.
That being said, it's because they compel me so much in that way that they don't really work for me as a typical romantic ship. I totally get why it does work for people though, there's a LOT to work with.
Sakuatsu: Omg don't come for me but uhh, they don't make sense and it does not compel me...
😫 Sorryyy I just don't gett it. They barely speak in canon and I always saw their dynamic as mild at best. And then a lot of the interpretations I see of them in fanon aren't really my personal taste. Also I think my apathy toward them also comes from me being really picky about how Atsumu is characterized in fanon stuff
Yamayachi: Oh yeah this makes sense, but also does not compel me.
It's fine, they're cute. But that's about it for me. It just doesn't go much deeper than that I think and I enjoy them better as friends. Friendship potential HUGE I think tho, I think they'd have a lot to bond over in terms of like, feeling like they're on the outside, and just general anxiety things too. (plus i generally hc yachi as a lesbian and yamaguchi as bi and i always like to imagine them bonding over that when yamaguchi figures his shit out, but i'm pretty loose about how strictly i apply headcanons like that and it's not at all the main factor in not compelling me to them as a ship)
Kiyoyachi: Heyyyy the first makes sense AND compels me! Yay!
Not sure I even need to defend this one lol. SO many scenes, so many. Yachi is in love with her, borderline canon—and attracted to her? even closer to canon lmao. But of course their bond is more than just whatever fledgling crush Yachi probably has in the beginning, theres genuine care and respect and understanding.
The problem is,, and it hurts me, but they compel me the most when they're one-sided.. I think this is mostly bc of how affected I am by canon. I love them, I love them together, but also the potential for angst with them is SO high that I end up not engaging much with them as a pairing bc I don't like to read sad things about characters I love lmao. But then if I read happy fluffy things where they're the main pairing being explored, it sort of just feels, off to me—and while it's nice and cute, it compels me less?? Idk it's weird push and pull. Fanart rather than fic is the perfect happy medium with them for me, I think
Send me ships and I'll talk about whether they compel me!
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hayanwulf · 5 months ago
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WIP updates - IronStrange week
Heyyy mortals, sorry for the recent radio silence on here. I've been busy with real life, while also trying to push through my writers block to get stuff done for ironstrange week.
I will be answering all of those prompts waiting in my ask box, just.. not yet. I need to dedicate myself to IS week for now, if I want to get them done in time. But rest assured, I have not forgotten about all of you who've been sending me prompts in ask! I will get around to each one of you!
Coming back to the IS week, I have something planned for every day, though how much I'll be able to manage by the deadline is yet to be seen. I will, however, try my best to post all of them in their respective days.
Here's a sneak peek to some almost-completed works for IronStrange week!
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Day 1 - Good/Evil
“No one invited me to the party? That’s rude.”
The zealots holding Stephen in place as well as their little puppet master — the guy in ugly green robes with a staff — all whipped their head around to Tony hovering in the air, and stared at him with varying degrees of gobsmacked expressions.
He smirked inside his helmet. He knew what they were thinking; how did Iron Man get inside the Mirror Dimension?
Short answer, magic does follow science. Long answer, you-have-kidnapped-my-wizard-and-now-you’ll-pay-for-it.
Of course, the second part was something no one would ever know. Iron Man was a villain, the greatest threat to Earth, the one who destroyed things and killed high-profile people, wielding more than enough firepower for world domination if he wanted. Stephen Strange, on the other hand, was Sorcerer Supreme, Earth’s greatest defender against mystical threats, a doctor. He was a preserver of life.
They had completely opposing worldviews.
By all accounts, they were rivals. Adversaries.
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Day 3 - Love/Hatred
The aged eucalyptus tree still bore the carving on its bark, as concise as the day it had been created. The shape of a strange eye, decorated with four curved lines inside it. Like a rune that, perhaps, meant something in the world of the witches.
Stephen’s home was so close.
Tony swallowed around the tightness of his throat, starting a trek towards the path he knew would lead there.
This was possibly the worst idea ever in the history of all the worst ideas Tony has ever had. He shouldn’t be here. He didn’t even know how Stephen would react to him being here.
Too soon, he had arrived at a small clearing in the woods. A pond, next to which stood a warm, homey looking hut.
His steps halted.
This was bad. He should turn back. Maybe run after that wagon before it was completely out of his reach forever. He should go back to his town, figure something out there. He didn’t even know if Stephen would welcome him. God, what was he thinking? What if Stephen tried to hurt him—
No.. no. Stephen wouldn’t. He wasn’t that kind of a person. Tony knew he wouldn’t hurt him.
Or at least.. at least Tony liked to imagine that he wouldn’t.
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Day 4 - Dark/Light
CW: Child abuse (okay i guess there isn't any in the excerpt itself)
He tried to look down at his hands, and could just barely make out their outline.
He wrapped the arms around himself, as if hugging. The arms felt just a little warm where they clung to his chest.
He hugged himself tighter, leaned his side against the door, and cried, letting himself feel the warmth trapping under his arms. This way, at least he could pretend that he wasn’t so alone.
It had only been a few minutes, when suddenly there was a loud crashing noise from somewhere in the basement. Anthony flinched.
He was not alone.
There were flickers of iridescent green in the air fading, and then was a grunting noise followed by shuffling of more objects kept in the basement. Anthony looked around where he had just seen green in the air, desperately trying to spot who — or what — was in here with him, but it was dark, so dark. His heart raced, feeling an entirely different kind of helplessness now.
He was not alone, and at that moment, that felt more terrifying than being alone.
---
Day 7 - Elegant/Grotesque
Soulmarks are the window to your soulmate’s soul, people say.
They represent a person in their rawest, truest form. As such, it is quite common for soulmarks to be an aminal, or a hybrid of many different animals, representing the person’s character at core. A lion’s bravery, a fox’s cunning, a dolphin’s intelligence, an eagle’s free spirit, and so on.
Tony’s soulmark is rather unique.
Right over his heart, sits a graceful little butterfly with large blue wings. It has pattens of gold more elegant and intricate than any embroidery he will ever see. A butterfly cannot be said to have a personality, so it doesn’t tell Tony anything about his soulmate. It does speak of beauty, though, and that Tony decides to believe.
-
Stephen’s soulmark is unique, in more ways than one.
The most common places to hold soulmarks are the chest, back, and neck regions. Sometimes people may have them at their hip, around their belly button. Even rarer, they might have them on one or both of the bicep muscles, or inner thighs. There is no way to determine what makes the marks appear symmetrically on both limbs for certain people, whereas only on one limb for certain others.
Stephen’s soulmark is on his hands, both of them. Specifically, the back of his palms.
And the patterns etched there are asymmetrical.
But the most bizarre fact is that, his soulmark is comprised entirely of floral designs.
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eemamminy-art · 6 months ago
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for the artist ask game:
3. your favorite piece(s)? 13. talk about a wip you like!
3. your favorite piece(s)?
This is tough, because I find that my favorites change all the time because I'm constantly improving! I think the ones I really like best currently are:
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This all saint's day-themed estimeric piece, which was inspired by a really intimate and personal experience I had. Fandom has made it harder to enjoy this ship more recently but they are so special to me, I wanted to project a special moment from my life onto them. I also posted it on a really meaningful date for me, so it's like.. extra personal and special in that way 💕
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This fordolyse beach artwork, because I feel like it's held up to my own personal scrutiny very well even though I drew it last August, and I just really love looking at it. I love the beach, and I find joy in drawing a simple beach and sky from my head. I love their body types. I think the composition works well even though it's super simple!
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The little autumn-themed sketch page I did of my stardew guys, because it felt like such a labor of love to be working on it genuinely for two whole months and to not give up on it until it was perfect. I redrew some parts of it over and over and over, I wasn't sure I'd ever finish it. It was a real exercise in my ongoing attempts to stylize my art in a satisfying way while still keeping it feeling solid and proportionate yet interesting.
13. talk about a wip you like!
Well, this one I'd say I half like it, and I need to figure out what I'm doing with it… but I'm doing some like then vs now pieces with my stardew guys and while the lines are "done" on the past portion, I far and away prefer how sketchy the future part looks.
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When I compare the finished lines to the sketch on the first half, I feel like it lost so much personality and I'm trying desperately to find a happy balance between cleaning up my sketches in a concise and balanced way while still keeping the energy and feeling of the sketch. I hate to feel like I wasted my time but I might end up just redrawing it, it feels so stiff to me 😭 I know this is a lot of complaining when it's supposed to be something I like, but!! I'm finding myself putting a lot more thought and going much more slowly with my personal art (working on it a little at a time over weeks instead of doing one or two several hour long sittings so as to not spend too much time on something "just" for me) which I think is helping me be more mindful of where I want to take my art, and also making the finished work more satisfying (since it's ultimately stuff I'm making for me anyway) :3
I think this wip probably has a long way to go and it might look totally different when it's done, but I find myself thinking about it and coming back to it the most! Like sometimes I just open it up on my second screen while I'm gaming and I just glance at it and try to figure out what's missing, or what can be changed. Or I just go ehehe at the smiles in the future portion of the set 🥰
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mintyimperiatrix · 7 months ago
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just finished reading the Infinity Doctors and i'm now going to make it everybody else's problem, so welcome to what is probably going to be the opposite of a concise review by someone who knows utterly fuck all about any of the 90s books, yeehaw (spoilers)
~~
so in all honestly i literally only read this because it's the only other time that i'm aware of that Patience appears and after reading Cold Fusion i wanted to find out more about her. imagine my feelings when i find out that this entire book is set in a different universe :D
for real though it took me a good while to figure out wtf was going on. i didn't know if it was pre-Hartnell or a Doctor from the future or what but i think it's the latter because there's one line about how he doesn't wear a velvet coat anymore, implying he's after Eight and i know it was written wayy before Nine was cast but his description fits Eccleston's so well which to me points to him being yet another alternate Ninth Doctor so ig Nine just gets to vibe on Gallifrey in this timeline instead of facing The Horrors(tm)
speaking of timeline stuff it kinda just felt like a compressed version of the Doctor's life from the main universe. he remembers Patience here so clearly married her as Hartnell rather than before. Hedin's around so i figure he just didn't die, which makes sense if the Omega shennanigans in the Three Doctors and Arc of Infinity also didn't happen which i have to assume is the case judging by the entire plot of the book. there were also references to something that'll off the Time Lords later on which tracks with the Time War but again this was pre revival so i'm guessing it's some Faction Paradox stuff since that was also referenced. it follows the concept that the Doctor's half Human and his parents are Penelope and Ulysses which is not something i'm a fan of normally but knowing this is an alternate universe i think it has potential. he called the TARDIS a family heirloom at one point which is bizarre but in that context somewhat works
and the Magistrate is the Master right? surely that's gotta be a unanimous opinion, right?? i loved him though, probably my fav character in the book. exactly what you'd expect a Gallifrey-bound incarnation of the Master to be like. i was sad when he was killed/vanished/whatever, i wish there was some sort of follow up on that or even just a reaction from the other characters at all. there was one line though where Larna notes that it's obvious that he's in love with the Doctor and vice versa and that made my thoschei shipping brain squee with delight.
loved Larna too! we all had that one hot teacher she's just the only one lucky enough to actually snog them. i loved her dynamic with the Doctor and the Magistrate and i like to think she exists in the main universe, probably re-engineering Gallifrey's staircases and turning down constant offers to join the High Council
i would like to have strong words with Lance Parkin regarding his repeated de-shoeing of female characters though and of the random mentions of curves and figure that never occurs with male characters. i wouldn't mind the emphasis as much if the same had been done for the male characters, and it's not like there wasn't opportunity for it however in the scenes where the Doctor is naked briefly or the Magistrate is wearing tight fitting clothing not once is it given the same depth of description as the scenes with Patience or Larna. the introduction of systemic sexism on Gallifrey was also so incredibly unnecessary and i have no clue why anyone would feel the need to specify that "of the thousands of Time Lords on Gallifrey only around a dozen were female" like huh???
speaking of Gallifrey i did enjoy (for the most part) the depiciton of Time Lord day to day. i'm not fond of the distinction between Gallifreyans and Time Lords, in my mind all Gallifreyans are Time Lords some just don't live in the Citadel, but the stuff about Infinity Chambers, the way they decorate their rooms, the random tech like Z-Caps and Force Knives, the obsession with protocol and proceedure, it's all gorgeous. the use of TARDIS/Time Lord dynamics was stunning (there's a soft moment between the Doctor and the TARDIS at the end and i love it), also the use of different pronouns for different TARDISes was a welcome treat
onto Patience though, the reason i read the book. it referenced her fate from Cold Fusion but because of the everything about this book i assume it's a different version of Patience which honestly i'm glad about because i'm not sure how i feel about the idea of the Doctor marrying the woman who was at his birth and proceeded to raise him. also don't like her being Omega's wife, that's really weird??? i enjoy the idea that she's older than she initially appeared in Cold Fusion though, past regenerations for her would be cool but i doubt she stretches back as far as the Doctor does in the main universe. it was so fun to see her again though albeit a different her
on the whole i'd say a very good book but with enough iffy bits that i wouldn't rate it too high. bit of a slow burn but in a good way! i love Sontarans and i didn't know going in that they were there so that was incredibly welcome. i really like the Infinity Doctor and i wouldn't say no to more content with him, even just an unbound comic strip or something because i really like this take on the character
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subwaytostardew · 6 months ago
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The sprite work looks amazing as always, you can really tell how much time and effort went into the designs!! It's always a treat to see an update, here or on Youtube. Also, I love how we got a Ginger Island update in Winter and a Winter update in Summer. What's next on the agenda?
I didn't realize the Ginger Island update was in winter... How funny!
(Just to make a disclaimer... Updates may be slowing down from here since I have work/life stuff pulling me away from modding and Kade's route is rocky as she is trying to find a new place to live and barely supporting herself as-is with two jobs.)
As for next on the agenda... I've been meaning to make an updated checklist of things we'd like to finish before the mod is in a state where I'd consider it ready for release- so I might as well update on it here! I probably forgot some things and more things will probably break, but off the top of my head- this is what we have on our intinerary.
▷ Station Steward Thylak
To-do list
Station repair events: These will probably be shorter and not too elaborate (by our standards... They'll be more like vanilla with its 1 minute long events).
Schedules: The pathing broke. I need to figure out how to make Emmet stop sleeping in the middle of the ocean on a Friday night. I'd also like to make new schedules for when the station is built but I need to finish the events for those first so they a flag to activate upon. Cilan doesn't have a schedule at all since he spawns in the station and the game would crash if I tried to load a schedule for him without locking it behind the station repair events.
Fixing events: We need to go back and replace some of the event animations with new commands. The Pokeball effect and battle animations broke. I'd also like to try to edit some other event aspects to be less janky and more concise (the intro events pain me). Emmet's 8-heart event will need to be heavilly edited regarding this... You know how long that is.
Emmet's 10-heart event: Ingo has his done... It wouldn't be fair for him to not have one either! Aside from the station repair events, this is probably the most important event on our to-do list but also... the biggest work-in-progress. We have a lot of asset creation to do (Nimbasa... A dining car interior... Date visuals...) as well as figuring out the script. I have an idea for the main themes and what happens in the event, we just need to figure out how to execute it. We're mostly stuck on the actual... date montage part... We'll figure it out.
1.6 festivals: I felt bad enough having my original plan to have Emmet partake in the Ice Festival's fishing competition (he got sensory overload 😔... coding-wise it's just not possible for me to make him fish in a festival) and then 1.6 added not just one but TWO more fishing festivals for him to feel bad about. He likes winning more than anything, but I don't think Emmet is particularly good at fishing. Eelektross isn't either by Eelektross standards; together they make one average fisherman. I'd still like to have them comment on them (but ahhh.... Sad Emmet...). As for the Desert Festival- they for sure need to partake in that. We just need to scope out coordinates and make dialogue. Maybe make custom shops for them too? (Not too familiar with that... I haven't figured out the whole... Custom items and shops thing yet. Need to do that.)
Year 2 festivals: Apparently custom NPCs don't default to their first year of festival data and will not be present at succeeding festivals unless if I specify festival data for year 2. That means we have to make another round of festival dialogue for all the festivals! Yay... These will probably be shorter/closer to vanilla lines compared to the year 1 festival dialogues.
12-Heart events?: I know I said I would probably leave marriage events for a later update (alongside platonic routes) but... I don't think they're really "complete" as NPCs without marriage events. They're only romancable for now and there isn't really much incentive to marrying them otherwise! The events I have in mind (beachside dinner with Emmet, exploring the tidepool area with Ingo) aren't too elaborate and more just set-up for what I have in mind for the "conclusion" to their story/relationship development. I have a tendency to procrastinate so I might get sidetracked making these later. Besides, I've been thinking about the date ideas from earlier a lot and I miss coding events (my favorite part of modding… As you can probably tell… It's fun to me.)
Ingo's daily dialogue: I've been lagging behind when it comes to reorganizing the lines in Ingo's daily dialogue file to be more cohesive... It's like +20 pages long... I reorganized Emmet's but... Ingo... There's just so much...
Other daily dialogue: Elesa and Cilan have little to no lines (Cilan has ONE). We'd like to make them somewhat worth talking to even if we will be adding in their events/full routes in a later patch.
Marriage dialogue: This actually breaks if all the keys aren't filled out, so we will need to write more lines for them there. Should be easy enough.
Ingo's letters: Kade wrote drafts for them, but I'd like to polish them before release (more train terms!!! and edits for cohesion). Proofreading for Ingo is just a drag... I've also been thinking about giving him matching odd-heart events for if you try to break his heart donate his gifts to the museum.
Side/Passenger events: There's still a few events that we have in the drafts as well as event ideas that should probably be included in the main release as it elaborates more on passenger interactions+worldbuilding. Currently, I'm coding an epilogue of sorts to the Pierre/Saloon event storyline where you get to listen to Ingo infodump in an event conversation with Abigail. There's also another partially finished event of a double battle between submas that would start the Maru storyline which would include more worldbuilding around Pokemon in the valley and end with Maru helping them with care- hence why they make a stop at the clinic on Tuesdays! Buuut... That event broke thanks to 1.6. Oh well. I'll get it done eventually.
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meadow-roses · 6 months ago
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reblog to get an ask, you say? well. i love your sketches and doodles and have been checking your blog pretty much daily for almost three years now to see your green ember, keepers, deepwood, and shifters art. i love felix and skylar's dynamic and id love to know more about their relationship in particular!
Oh my goodness thank you 🥺😭
That means so much! I'm so glad you've enjoyed it all and you've been here 3 years????? 😭😭 Thank you,,,, 🥺🥺
Oh man there's so much for Felix and Skylar afcfhf the story has kinda built itself around these two basically since it's conception like 4 years ago. It's hard to describe it cause I can't think of any trope they slot into nicely to shorthand describe them 😂
Since I don't know how to put this concisely I'll just ramble about them under the cut lol!
So Felix is this funny guy who's super chill and casual about stuff all the time but also is so so oriented around friends. He'll meet someone and just be like "You're my new friend now I decided", which meshes with Skylar's 'loner protagonist' tendencies hilariously. Skylar's just cruising around the universe with Gigi, popping in here and there to save the day then disappear as spontaneously as he arrived under this assumption that it will always only ever be him and his brother (hair blowing dramatic in the wind(that's all he really needs, right?)). Then he meets this guy who's just as stubborn as he is that he can't seem to shake off his tail?? It doesn't matter what time or planet or dimension he goes off to, this guy's always there! It's like the universe itself is pulling this on him. He doesn't like how the guy's face lights up whenever he sees him and sometimes he says some pretty crazy stuff like "we're best friends in the future" like that would ever happen. 🙄
Meanwhile Felix is just struggling. His entire life has always been structured around "his people"- friends, neighbors, family, coworkers- anyone he can make a connection with. But now they're all gone, and worse still he can't settle in and try to make new connections, he's gotta figure out how to get home! In the midst of all this he keeps running into the same kid over and over and over again who seems to be living in this mindset that he's the only person who's really real. It starts out with him thinking "man this kid needs an adult in his life" but the more they hang out the more they develop this mutual respect for each other. Skylar may be a teenager, but also he's brave and capable and has seen so much- he's literally hundreds of years old. Felix may be a silly softie who likes following rules so much he invents his own and his hair style is super dumb, he doesn't fit the impossible standard of "manhood" Skylar's father set for him, but he is pretty brave and capable and something about how he talks about his own kids hurts somewhere deep down (though he'd never admit it) and he just WANTS to be home SOMEWHERE actually. Despite all the pretending he can't fully bury that ache.
So reluctantly, not like he'd actually admit that's what he's doing, he starts purposefully crossing paths with this crazy weirdo who's trying to map the universe (?? literally what kind of idea is that??) Skylar may be human but he hasn't lived like a human for so long it's almost like he's become some Other magic thing. ...and the more time goes on the more Felix changes too. By the time he finally finds his home he's changed so much from the (admittedly unusual) man he was before and there's no going back. And it kind of ends up that all they've got is each other who really understands what it's like... seeing all of time play out in snapshots here and there, dying a hundred deaths and watching the hundreds of lives being lived all around you.
Please please go read this comic August made :DDD (at this point Felix still doesn't know really what happened, why Skylar left home and refuses to even try to go back. So he's got as much context in this conversation as you all do. ;)
There's so much of this too that just goes unsaid in their relationship. Felix is a quiet guy and he's not great with words- especially spur of the moment- if he's gonna say something he's gotta plan out the whole "script" in advance. Skylar's got so many layers of emotional repression and is like. allergic to ever giving a straight answer to anything or talking about his feelings (yuck), but they don't need words to know how much the other one cares. You just end up with these two dudes who just... they love each other, ya know? The closest I've ever seen their dynamic get to another piece of media is Kuzco and Pacha from "The Emperor's New Groove". 😂
Anyway thanks for reading this far. As I'm sure anyone who follows this blog is aware I am insane about these guys adsfdsaf
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