#I need to do more drawings like this where the characters have personality aha

[warriormoustache]

He’s got his judgy face on

[todayisafridaynight]

how long did it take you to like Daigo and Mine? I had a delayed response to the former. I’d played through all the games, nothing. Then one day I was just thinking of how he was yet another example of goth disaster who grows into Fine Young Man (my first was Gaara) and all of a sudden I got struck with the blorbo truck.

bestie. i have no idea LMAOOOO I REALLY COULDN'T TELL YOU

i know with mine at least it took me beating Y3 first and then thinking about his character more and then doing a replay of Y3 and rewatching his scenes. plus then i found all the currently available RGGO stories for him and that p much solidified my adoration for him

with daigo, i think it was just kind of like a gradual thing? my memory of my initial feelings when playin these games are mostly faded (pardon like. Y7 stuff that game and my feelings for it have been branded into my brain 5ever) but i remember as the games went on, i just got happier the more i saw daigo on screen (kind of like how i get when i see date in that 'omg it's my old friend daigo that's my boy :)') to the point where i instantly knew the 'masked figure' in y5 was him just from his sideburns (tho tbf i think we all saw the twist coming from a mile away, but it's the way i saw his sideburns and instantly went 'oh bitch i know those anywhere')

i did think he was dripped the fuck out in Y2 tho

[entiqua]

I love your artstyle!! Do you have any tips for drawing?

thank you so much! i'm really happy you like it!!💗 as for tips, what i would say would change drastically depending on what kind you're looking for, but some very general ones:

draw what you love and want to see most, regardless of whether anyone else wants to see it. if you don't enjoy what you're drawing it'll never come out as good or genuine as something your whole heart and soul is in. i mean you'd think this would be a no-brainer but sometimes i've had to sit back and ask myself 'if no one was ever going to see this except me, would i actually spend time drawing this?' and i was surprised by the answer

that said, it is also completely valid if your motivation for drawing is to draw for other people! there have been plenty of times where i was too artblocked to draw my own ideas but was still able to draw commissions or gifts and enjoyed it simply because making other people happy with my art makes me happy.

don't get too caught up in having a consistent art style. in my experience this 1000% hinders you

having your sense of anatomy degrade over time without you noticing because you keep drawing the same types of characters is a very real thing! if this is a concern to you be sure to draw a variety

follow a billion artists that you like the art of and you will have endless inspiration injected directly into your brain every time you open social media

my favourite practical tip for those who draw at a desk: keep a small mirror next to you at all times. absolute game changer for quickly referencing hands

if you're drawing digitally, make the canvas huge! in my experience this lets you draw messier/faster and you can't tell at all when you zoom out. if you tend to get stuck spending unnecessary amounts of time micromanaging pixels (me💀) keep it zoomed out while drawing

related to the above point, messy drawings can have far more expressiveness in them than neat and polished drawings. nowadays i never do lineart and go straight from 'barebones stickman pose' to 'varying-levels-of-coherent sketch' and use that as my lineart. sweet freedom from the sketch-looks-better-than-the-lineart phenomenon

if your goal is to improve, then you really do have to scrutinize your art, figure out what you're not satisfied with, and commit the time to focusing on it. 'practice makes perfect' kinda rubs me the wrong way because of how much i've seen it interpreted as 'just draw everyday and you'll magically improve' but genuinely it won't get you very far if you don't actively think hard about what you're trying to improve and take the steps to do it. is this a hot take idk. also hand in hand with this, not every artist is trying to improve and you shouldn't feel bad for this! maybe you just wanna make a little headshot doodle of your fave blorbo and that's your only drawing goal ever. awesome. maybe you know your art has flaws but it's passable enough to convey what you want and you're perfectly satisfied with that. (this is the stage i'm usually at). also awesome!

don't hesitate to draw something because you think it's out of your skill level. the worst that can happen if you draw it is that it comes out terribly but you learned something and can always redraw it better in the future. the worst that WILL happen if you don't draw it is that you'll never draw it. and then it will sit in the back of your brain haunting you for years. it's not like i'm speaking from experience or anything aha

look up 'hand stretches for artists' and do them if you draw a lot unless you wish to summon the wrath of the carpal tunnel demons

of course, these may not necessarily work for you, and most importantly(!) these are coming from the perspective of someone who is primarily a hobbyist. some of this won't be practical for people who need to build an audience, maintain a consistent style for work, etc. these are just things that have personally helped me over many years of drawing :)

[ashwii]

Thanks for answering! Could you go into how you paint? It's always the trickiest part for me

Hehe sure thing! I even recorded some of it, bc for me personally, i learn a lot easier when it's visualized like that, aha.

So first off, we'll start off with our base!

Personally, I like a lot of gradients and color variations to start off with, but these can be solid base colors of you prefer :3. From this, ALL layers are gonna be merged down into one, no separate layers here yet :D

Going forward, I have a video done here kinda showing what I do :DD. I'll explain below the video in more detail what I do

First the base shadiws and highlights — for the shadows I'll usually pick from the color wheel (a darker, more saturated tone, plus I'll also shift the hue some) and draw right on the canvas. For the base highlights, i'll almost always use a bright orange on whatever adjustment layer makes your color nice and bright and glowy (for PTS it's Luminosity, and for CSP and Procreate I usually use an Add layer).

THEN I DO SOME MESSY BLENDING OUT, nothing pretty yet, just getting some of the colors blended out hehe

Afterwards, the drawing usually looks like this :0 very messy lol

NEXT !!! PAINTING TIME !!! As show in the video, it's allllll about color picking and going over what you've already done. For a lot of it I use a softer brush, letting the colors blend together more softly, and then for other portions I'll use a harder pen for where I want more of the color that I picked to show through. Sometimes I'll draw over the line art all together if I don't think it's needed, or i"ll draw the line art back in after painting over it if I want those lines still :0

And there's just a looooot of drawing over and painting over. The 20 seconds you saw of painting and blending usually goes on for like 3-6 hours, depending on the drawing XD.

After ALLLL of that, I get smth like this

AND this was pretty much just working on leo. Now to work on the background elements >:3c same progress, just for the atmosphere and not the character!

YAY NOW THAT'S DONE !! Now all the paintings done soooooo

Color correction and final touches >:3c no more painting, now there's just a bunch of fun glowy layers we add on top of this heheheeh

AND WE DONE >:DDD

I hope that helped some djejwjww. Tbh, the way I learn the most is if an artist im trying to learn from straight up just streams what they’re doing, but I don't rlly know anywhere i could stream or who would be interested ;w; but I hope this helps enough anyway!

If there are any other questions, I'll be happy to answer! Ive said before I rlly like playing art teacher heheheheh <33

[peachiecure]

Character introduction: Larissa/“Cure Jump”

~Basic info~

Name: Larissa Frausto

“Alter Ego”: Cure Jump

Age: 13

Birthday: September 22

Hair color: Brown (w/ red ombré as “Jump”)

Eye color: Brown (Blue as “Jump”)

Larissa is a girl from another world who happens to visit from time to time. She holds the ability to transform into a magical girl known as “Cure Jump”. She is a side character in Project: SFA.

Larissa is a very shy and awkward person. She often is seen to be either panicking, not able to put out words or trying her best to do what is asked of her. Coming from another world, her surroundings here seem to fascinate her in a way as if she has been observing from the outside for a long time. In her free time, she seems to like to draw and play video games.

Her “Alter Ego”, Cure Jump on the other hand is much different in personality. She is strong willed, brave, leader-like and overall a joy to be around… she fights with the power of fire, along with a few other new tricks up her sleeve that she learns from Mario as they protect the kingdom at times. Though… there seems to be something behind those blue eyes of hers.

For more information on Larissa & Cure Jump, including more details and voice claims, please visit the side blog @nintendoprecure for her intros there~

A Precure? What’s that?

For my non-precure fans here, it’s a magical girl franchise. If you’re familiar with the concepts Sailor Moon or Cardcaptor Sakura, it’s pretty similar. Hopefully you don’t need to know that much about the franchise to understand the concept. A lot of precure fans like to make OCs, and that is where Larissa is from. So yeah it’s another project of mine. Larissa transforms and fights for what’s good with the power of her transformation device! (Which is a 3DS aha) She pops into SFA every now and then. You don’t need to dive deep into my other project though to understand her role in SFA, so I hope she is still a fun character to SFA’s overall story and lore. Just know that she pops in every now and then, helping out the best she can!

~Relationships~

Mario: “O-oh— I need to talk about Mario? U-um— he… he talks much more than I imagined… I’m so used to hearing reused voice lin— I MEAN from what I’ve heard from others!! He’s very nice!! I’m… I’m not good at socializing… at all. He seems to care about me though… I-I just feel that I’m to… incompetent to be standing by his side. He always tells be how I do such a good job as Jump but… I’m n— I mean, yeah I’m… Jump… but— sigh, never mind.”

Peach: “I could cry. I gonna cry. I-I can’t just cry?… she’s everything to me… seeing her in front of me physically of course I’m going to cry!! SHE’S MY FAVORITTTEEEE…. MY QUEEN…. And she’s so nice to me too I’m crying. I-I’m sorry I’m crying. I can’t help it. Little kid me prayed for moments like this… oh my gosh—“ (the rest is incoherent, we cannot understand her through her sobbing)

Sweetheart: “Finding out that Peach and Mario were married was one thing… but finding out they have a child… was something else entirely. I didn’t know how to process that information— my ship— I mean I’m very happy for them!!! Sweetheart herself is a very sweet little girl… well… she’s currently 10 but her behavior is very pure. Sometimes I think she looks up to me like an older sister which… I-I am an older sister in my family but I— I don’t feel like one. I’m cowardly, but she somehow finds the good in me when I’m around and wants to do things with me… her parents have explained the… situation with her powers, so I do have to keep an eye on her just in case anything happens.”

Luigi: “… I like Luigi, he… he really understands me when I can’t really get words out of my mouth… or… or when Mario drags the two of us somewhere impulsively as we’re both worrying… it is also surreal seeing him talk in front of me… oh my good they’re real the Super Mario Bros. are real and they’re in front of my oh my god. I’m gonna explode….”

Daisy: “Daisy has so much energy that she really overwhelms me— but not in a bad way! I really like her I’m just… I-I just like to take things slower and stuff. She’s a wonderful princess! She really cares about her friends and she would definitely fistfight a god for them!…”

Rosalina: “Mario brought me to the Observatory once and… it felt very weird to be able to breathe in space— where I’m from you— you can’t do that you’ll die. I got to meet Rosalina and the Lumas, and I really had a nice time with her. She’s gentle and made sure I felt comfortable and safe in her home… even read me a few stories from her iconic storybook that surely the soundtrack— I mean the music that so happens to play around when she reads— has not made me cry! Not at all!—“

Flame: “Flame is a new face I met upon coming here. I’ve never heard of his Kingdom at all. He seems like a nice kid who just wants to have fun with his friends. He-he’s very panicky, like me, so I— I relate a lot with him. He seems to always fight with Aqua and… I can’t blame him on that. Aqua… is… something… I just find it a bit odd how he always does what Sweetheart says?… I-I hope he’s only doing that because he wants to be a good friend…”

Aqua: “… C-can I tell the truth?—I-I don’t currently like him. I hate sounding mean but— he reminds me of someone from school with his spoiled attitude and I just can’t stand how he constantly arguing with Flame… there’s still a-a lot I don’t know about him, so I am open to change my view on him. It just seems like he isn’t willing to tell anything besides what he wants us to hear… and I don’t want to pry… I won’t say it to his face though, that’s just mean… he hasn’t really DONE anything to hurt me yet so I wouldn’t talk back… not like I ever would in the first place… he’s royalty…”

Toadsworth: “Toadsworth started calling me Master Larissa after one battle and… I cannot get used to the title. I am no master at… anything. Unless it’s crying, I’m… very good at that… ahaha… ha….”

~Rumors~

“Yeah I’m… I’m not related to the Mario Bros… I-I don’t know why that’s such a popular rumor… I’m not even Italian… ahaha… w-wait who thinks I’m related to Mario—? Is it because of my brown hair?— o-or how I’m small?… I’m simply just learning alongside him… because of Ju— because I’m a magical girl!…”

And that’s it for Larissa’s intro! Next will be… well, a certain jester…

[hideyseek]

5, 9, 12!

crab!! hi hi hi hi hi hiiiii~! ty for quastions :3

from fanfic asks for the new year

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

aha, well. technically the first is mini heist!au but none of it is written that is in the shape of the final thing that i haven't already posted on here so i'm gonna cheat and say uh. wow huh okay then i kind of have no idea. ah! maybe my arthurcobb fic then! cos it sure won't be narrative!fic, lol!

here is a snippet from the current draft which is uhh three and a half years old (by which i mostly mean to say, there are a couple things in here i would write differently now.):

Arthur brings his coffee up to the counter where Dom has already deposited his onion rings and says, “Excuse me, can I purchase a — a temporary phone?” If he doesn't call it a burner maybe he will come off as more the kind of person he actually is. The cashier puts up a finger in question and Arthur nods but behind him Dom says firmly, “Two.”  Arthur turns, surprised. “Why — we don’t need two?” They’re traveling together, after all. Arthur’s not about to leave Dom alone, so it’s not like Dom will need his own phone. It’s not like Dom’s super functional, anyway. The three days he’d spent on Arthur’s couch before they read the news and had to leave town extremely suspiciously, he’d really just spent on the couch. “We don’t need two phones, Dom,” Arthur repeats.  “What if we get separated,” Dom points out. “How would we get in contact with each other again? You should have your own phone, too.” Arthur would rather not think about circumstances that would separate them. Dom says, “Arthur,” and it feels pointed. Something like panic hollows Arthur’s chest. Things are already out of control, apparently. Two days into being on the run and apparently Dom can call these shots but he can’t be on the run by himself.

9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January?

ahaha actually, getting this ask made me decide that i'm going to try my absolute best to finish the project i've been calling "mini heist!au" (which ... at this point ... is just an au of heist!au without any heists in it, lmao) this month! i used answering this ask as my bribe for reading through all the existing material and drawing up a revision plan / new fic story structure actually. i'm not sure i'll be able to, i suspect there are 2-4 drafts and i simply do not write that fast (at least one from scratch based on a new outline, possibly a second from scratch, and then a second/third that's just like. content/theme/cadence/character arcs etc revisions. though that might get complex enough to be two drafts). but we'll see! there are still 24 days so at this current moment i am optimistic :3

12. Will you change anything about the way you edit or rewrite this year?

YES I SURE FUCKING WILL. I HAVE BEGUN IT ACTUALLY, mostly i'm continuing to test a thing i tried in december 2023 to see if it still works for projects that aren't the specific situation of the beginning of devotion (so far, yes!) anyway the way that process goes is like this (recipe below):

first, write a terrible draft. some scenes can just be a note of what needs to happen. ideally: expend as little fucking effort on this as possible bc like. almost none of this will stay. just write enough to get the vibes of what you're going for.

second, read through that draft taking notes of what you like or don't like (or, the way i phrase it for myself to make the goal clearer "what feels like it is aligned with my vision for the fic vs what isn't") but most importantly. WHY.

for me doing this second step has 2/2 turned into "here is a rough outline of the story, completely restructured" but also, with no ending (which is fine, i just have to trust that the ending will appear when more of the draft is written).

third, compile those notes on a new draft into a narrative-order outline (linear for me).

fourth, write the new draft.

fifth, try to do step 2 again. but what i found for the beginning of devotion and therefore what i'm to a certain extent expecting, is that i will just have a bunch of Ns/dislikes and then go. ah. because the things i dislike are too granular to require big-picture story structure changes now.

sixth, copy the most recent draft into a new doc. and read through and revise directly on the page. maybe title at some point so that revision stuff is aligned with the mood/tone/content/vibes/whatever of the title. and maybe come up with initial tags and a summary here also to make sure the vibes are all aligned. hopefully the content of the ending will become clear at this point and you'll draft that for the first or second time.

seventh, idk i like to do an out-loud readthrough bc reading cadence is important to me personally. and also i am scared to lose the skill of reading aloud considering i do it about zero times a year other than this.

that's it basically.

[mdhwrites]

What Emanator I Think Acheron Is

I'm calling Nihility. This isn't just because of the proof that she's path of Nihility but a lot more based on what little concrete we know about her and how essentially entropy works since that is what Ix is: The Aeon of Nihility. Of Nothingness. Of Entropy.

And the thing about almost all life that succumbs to that the fastest is in fact our memories. That's partially because memory as a concept is not reflective, it is constructive. We have to recreate the details every time we think about something and thus the new version erodes a bit from the truth with each retelling. It can work a couple times but quickly is distorted, much like how Google Translate can do a pretty good job but you run it through a translator seven times and the product is illegible.

And of course, Acheron's memory issues is one of her biggest elements that we know about her so far. Her inability to remember even where she's going or how she got somewhere is a great gag but it also fits how Nihility in this universe is portrayed. Namely that... It's kind of chill.

Ix is explicitly called a peaceful Aeon. It's one of the few things ever stated about them in the game. They were so chill that some Destruction Dorks went "We want to kill an aeon and since Ix doesn't do shit, let's fuck them up!" Aha laughed, helped them out and they were never heard from again because they're idiots.

Speaking of: This should actually be pretty easy for a lot of people to figure out in Star Rail but Aventurine doesn't mention Nihility because of this fact. Aventurine is building a narrative that Acheron is dangerous and inherently evil and musing that her memory issues may be due to the Nihility consuming them as they;'re created doesn't serve his angle so he leaves it out. Instead, he essentially calls out Nihility's opposite: Finality, which is essentially working from the other direction by going from the end of time backwards, at least in theory.

Frankly, having both Nihility and Finality as two aeons in your story, both about the ends of things, is... Rough. Like they could do something with it but as it is now, we kind of have two different gods of nothing and if Finality is the god of death uh... Have you met the Xianshou or the Loufu?

Getting back to the point, there's one other element to this theory of mine for Acheron: Her reaction to Firefly and how it plays into how she didn't seem to want to draw her sword. See, Ix is peaceful because existence to them is meaningless. Everything will eventually die and end, thus joining with them so Ix doesn't have to do anything. However, take this to a kind hearted person and the idea of a life coming to an end in a brutal, immediate fashion is an absolute tragedy. They were going to die anyways so why did they have to die like this?

Now yes, she's a Galaxy Ranger, at least in theory, but even this tracks. People like the Annihilation Gang (btw, you could count Destruction as an off shoot of Nihility as well) are speeding up a process that doesn't need to be. Doing unnecessary harm when their goal will be met regardless. Any evildoer out there is doing such a thing so Acheron actually would live by the opposite of most superheroes. If you pose a threat to even two people's lives with your machinations, it is her obligation for her to murder you so that they may be taken by entropy instead, rather than allow the harm you wish to cause. Honestly, the bigger surprise is that ANY of Duke Inferno's family are still alive since they all wish to commit horrors upon the universe. If Acheron really did steal the invite from them (which would seem incredibly out of character so far and raise questions on how with her lack of planning/follow through skills) then I would assume she'd have just wiped them all out.

But then my brother who is SO hyped for Katarina would be very sad so ups and downs.

But yeah, with all of that said, I'm sticking with my theory. I've been told when I posted this on Hoyolab that supposedly the leaks have something to say on it but I won't say one way or another in case you're like me and try to avoid those. For now, thank you for listening and see you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[bookwyrminspiration]

i offer u i went back and looked for mentions of the features i DO remember:

janel-- described as long and slender (NO MUSCLE????) with red eyes like a forge, like fire, etc., nearly-black red hair (the color of blood), red-brown/sienna/chestnut skin, a single stripe of hair from forehead to neck (do all joratese have this???? i cant believe janel just casually has a mohawk and we didn't even notice), and then the black hands and feet. i THOUGHT she had horse markings bc i remember them saying they shipped her to someone to give them to her??? but they're not really actually mentioned in any descriptions of her so did i just imagine it. uhhh.

teraeth-- quote from the ruin of kings: "He was different, resembling a vané who had played in too many fires. His skin was a field of dark ashes, his long hair matte black, his eyes shadowy emeralds. He possessed all the prettiness of the vané race, but was a creature of angles and sharpness. His beauty was that of the razor and not the flower." + you mentioning the long and straight nose (i shall now have to give kihrin an aquiline or like. crooked nose for the funsies) and the slick hair

kihrin-- IF his eyes take after his kirpis mother, they'd be dark blue, and he has golden/yellow hair?? no further descriptions really given but i wrote down some small notes abt his personality to go off of. eventually we will figure that one out! i want to draw thurvishar as well and i know he DEFINITELY has some more detailed descriptions which. pog

I think there will be zero complaints from anyone if you make Janel buff--though I think there might be mention in later books of her being muscular or toned. Jenn does this thing where descriptions are spread across the whole series, so sometimes you don't get a detail until pretty far in. As for her laevos (that's the name for Janel's hairstyle), it's not every single Joratese, but it is a pretty common one! Lower classes will shave the sides of their head to create it and upper class will undergo magicking to no longer grow hair on the side of their heads. Which happened to Janel. She was magicked as a baby to have a nautral laevos and her black hands and feet, but she wasn't given further markings. You did imagine it, but it's also a very reasonable thing to imagine!

For Tereath, I'll have to find that nose thing to double check, but I'm pretty certain it was something like that. I remember specifically making a mental note about how it meant skin tone and features were different in acod than real life. But! This is another situation where I don't think anyone's going to care if you give him a different nose. I don't think basically anyone is going to have anything to say about any art simply because we will be thrilled to have art at all.

As for Kihrin, pretty sure his eyes are a brighter blue because of his dad's side (the blue god-touched thing). And a few more details are that he has dark golden skin, a thin nose, and full lips. He's also described by Galen as being too pretty, knowing he's too pretty, and so can only be an ass about it. He's also got the whip scars on his back. And is tall--though Teraeth is slightly taller.

As for Thurvishar, someone actually very helpfully provided a bunch of screenshots of his descriptions once, but tumblr is being very unhelpful so we'll see if I can find it. AHA!! Here it is. Wow that took me a minute. Anyway. itching to draw them. I've had this shitpost idea in my head for a few weeks now I just need to figure out how I want to draw their characters first

[girlbloggercrowley]

after reflection i am not a believer in The Theory doc

discussion under cut

-"neil gaiman's such a good writer it's impossible for him to do anything wrong ever, i am going to continually reference this fact and base the entire theory premise on this"

wrong. yeah the man is talented. but absolutely yes he has the potential to write something not stunning, AS DO WE ALL, being, you know, humans.

-it is so tjlc that it makes me nervous large swathes of fandom seem to be believing in it. lads. lads please

-not a fan of the tone of it personally, although this is an issue irrelevant to the points inside it

-several "plot holes" or weird things pointed out in the intro are just... not plot holes. like aziraphale drawing. or the gabe statue payoff.

-"maggie does some weird things therefore she isn't real. look at these coffeeshop au lesbians! haha they're such a plot device that i'm going to say one of them is Made Up, just because of how strange and unusual i think they are"

i think "something's up with maggie" is an interesting theory. "she's entirely fictional" is inane. also i have words for people ignoring maggie+nina/discounting them as "tropes" or "lesbians to help the gay men get along" like actually they had their own story... yes they were plot devices but they were self aware plot devices same as some characters from s1

-the avoidance of alcohol is interesting, but could have many explanations.

i think my biggest reason for being suspicious of this is that good omens season 2 is a continuation of good omens 1, and good omens the book, and it is between season 1 and the season 2 that pratchett and gaiman planned out. if the neighbor of the beast was supposed to start with metatron going "aha! i have trapped you all in my secret time manipulation scheme, there is no escape!! muahahahaha" then i think the guy would have showed up in s2 more than just in the last episode, for the most part.

also, this hinges so heavily on what i call "bad on purpose" that it's kind of headache-inducing. one: from what i've seen of gaiman, he doesn't do that kind of thing. what an insane gamble to throw away potential ratings/s3 for a mind game that the doc author seems to think the vast majority of people simply wouldn't be able to comprehend/figure out for themselves, from the way they wrote the doc. two: sometimes things are just mediocre

but i have a specific vendetta towards bad "on purpose" or "the villain is good actually" or "the authors have this massive secret that you plebs don't get kind" of theory (i understand that these are not exactly similar and also, this is showing my inherent bias against the essay, but i feel it's better to acknowledge that bias). theories that go "actually it's completely different" feel, i need, either a load of solid evidence or a vibe where it's like "this is just a theory though, we're having fun!" i'm not super with tone but i don't think the theory has either.

i think theorizing is good and fun and a creative way to engage with fandom. i'm not a fan of this one. and now, after old man porch-ing about how you gotta take time before posting essays in the tags, i will post this essay i wrote in 30 mins with minimal revising. hit post goodbye

[chaotic-on-main]

ok i didnt know the best way to do this so here you go lol. ty for even doing this ;-; i probably gave more than you needed aha.

personal color scheme:

i'm a hoe for purple pastel colors uwu

specific aesthetic:

guess a minimalist pastel soft aesthetic? ngl i had to look up different types of aesthetics lmaoooo im so out of touch with reality

general outlook on life:

tbh i'm pretty nihilistic and am a heavy believer of the heat death of the universe, but that's why we should appreciate what little time we do have :)

favorite shows/animes/books/manga:

aot (obvs), bungo stray dogs, code geass, witcher, i like video games too (world of warcraft, fallout 4, skyrim)

your favorite characters from said things above (and if you're able to, explain what draws them to you):

aot: levi (because i thirst but also because he's such a complex character that's gone through so much shit yet still turns out the way he is and i love him sm i a;ldk fj;laksjfd)

bungo stray dogs: dazai (similar reasons to levi although he's much more morally gray), chuuya (because he's pretty <3 also similar to levi and is badass)

code geass: lelouch (bc jun fukuyama is a god in the va world)

witcher: geralt (because I thirst, plus i love reluctant dad figures)

general likes:

levi, coffee, gaming, writing, cats, being stoned

general dislikes:

zeke jaeger (baka vibes), superficial shit, most people, politics, macho man vibes, most republicans (lol)

hobbies:

writing, gif making, playing piano, gaming

astrological sign and or MBTI:

i've taken the MBTI a million times, with the most recent rendition as ISTJ-T, i'm also a gemini :)

the season, time of day, type of land or body of water, and weather you associate yourself with:

fall, sunset, oceans, idk for weather type lol

niche interests:

space, psychoanalyzing traumatized characters :], was into greek mythology for a bit

things specific to you and your life that you want represented visually:

gaming-related stuff, coffee, i try to channel mental health positivity vibes but idk how that would be represented lmaoo

5 words or phrases that you feel explains who you are as a person:

chaotic (adhd-vibes), somehow able to read people's energy's/moods to an annoying amount, the type thats shy as fuck until i get to know you, always thirsting, partner also just said im stubborn as fuck lol

ALSO I like to do this thing where I add in something incredibly specific to you, like the most specific thing you can think about:

uhhhhh i guess add in something semi-colon related? tmi but mental health recovery is a huge part of my life so i have like 3-4 tattoos that are semi-colon themed (maybe you can help me generate another tattoo idea lmao)

If I feel like I need a little more, please be okay with me DMing you! I want to make sure everything is perfect:

you can also dm me anyway, i'm trying to make friends and its hard

I GOTCHU.

I had so much fun making this one laksjdf the colors are so damn pretty!! I hope you like it! Normally they're a little more layered and messy but I went for a more simple, minimalist look. Also the background was too pretty, it had to show.

@humanitys-strongest-bamf

☆ As always, if y'all are curious in what I’m doing with my spare time, you can go here! My game is open!! ☆

[flowerywhispers]

| | Yandere headcanons | |

Character(s): KRS Cale Henituse, Alver Crossman, Choi Han

TW: Yandere and everything that comes with it, murder, threats/manipulation, kidnapping, stalking

Notes: Gender neutral MC || Fuck it, Yandere Cale, Alver and Choi Han headcanons because I have no self control. They're supposed to be ooc, m'kay? || Aha, oops. Got a bit carried away but these aren't as in depth as the separate yandere headcanons I have for these three aha. Mostly just vague outlines. I want to get much worse

[ KRS Cale ]

Cale is a con man. He's good with his words and an even better manipulator if he wishes to be so it's easy to find yourself listening when he tells you to stay with him

You find yourself spending more time with him than you do with anyone else, as if something is stopping you from seeing them or visa versa but it's difficult to tell when you're with Cale

He doesn't want to do much, just lie around and sleep so time becomes a mess and you aren't sure how many days it's been since you left the room or saw someone else. Or has it been weeks?

You don't think Cale is behind it of course. How could you when he's so impassive all of the time but once again his words coax you back into his room and you find yourself staying there, somewhat aimlessly for days on end

You find yourself craving the sight of another person other than the red head and at the mention of someone else's name, he scowls, something that's so unlike him that it makes you pause

He lets you go for maybe a day or two but the cycle repeats itself

You don't know what time it is and you don't know what year it is at this point. You aren't even sure when the last time you saw Raon or On and Hong was and those three were always around Cale

You know better than to ask to see them anymore. The scowl that comes to Cale's face is no longer something unusual to you but something more pressuring

The words that follow always make you freeze in place and you stay quiet

Do you have something against staying around someone who is hailed a hero? What would everyone think if they found out that you of all people were on bad terms with Cale? You who you had trusted? You would be hunted, if not my Choi Han, then by any one of his allies. After all, Cale wasn't one to be on bad terms with anyone other than enemies so what would you be then?

The threat always hangs in their air as he draws you back to him and holds you close

It's suffocating and you want to leave but you can't and Cale wouldn't want it any other way. After all, you're being compliant. With you, he has everything he needs to lead his dream slacker life

[ Alver ]

It's starts off with him just wanting you around all of the time. He doesn't feel tired when you were there, even if he'd been given 4 new stacks of paperwork to fill out after Cale's done something or other again. It's comforting, a nice feeling. Not one that he wants to let go of

It escalates into him requesting your presence every second that he can have you, even trying to and successfully making you move into the palace where he can always keep you close

It feels fine to start with. He's not suffocating or anything, he's just a bit clingy but it goes from him wanting you near him to him wanting you next to him

Soon he's moving you from your room to his and you have no choice but to oblige. After all, he's the emperor and he's not about to let you forget it

He doesn't want to force you at first, choosing to coax you into staying with money, luxury, comfort, but you want to leave too often for his liking. What could you possibly need to go outside for? Everything you need is there in the palace. He gives you everything, what more could you possibly want? Come now, there's no reason to be so selfish

The house arrests don't last for too long at the beginning. Just a few days at a time where you can't leave his room but it quickly becomes permanent confinement when you want to spend more of your time off of house arrest outside than with him

Wanting to escape only comes naturally when you're barely able to leave Alver's room but you're foolish to think that, even when he leaves, there isn't some way for him to watch you and you're caught within seconds

His tone is nice but his words and eyes are anything but as he reminds you of your place. He's the emperor. Anything he says goes and if he tells you to stay put, then you stay. Put. It isn't up for debate when he holds your entire life against you

What a shame if all of the shops that you wanted to visit were to suddenly become illegal? And the fields that you keep trying to sneak off to? It would be a tragedy if they suddenly became mansions, wouldn't it?

It's easier to stay than it is to leave with Alver because he is not above putting you in chain to keep you with him

[ Choi Han ]

He doesn't even realise that he's become obsessed with you until he's unable to focus even around Cale and can't seem to stop following after you in a way that he realises is scandalous, dirty even, but by that point, he can't stop

He's not the type to make any active or obvious advances on you, much too worried that you'll push him away and he'll lose you to do so but is always vaguely near you

He becomes dilusional as he lets his obsession grow. He hasn't dealt with these kind of feelings before so how is he to know how to stop them? Like with most feelings, they'll go away eventually, right?

He's constantly on watch around you, constantly watching you. He needs to make sure you're safe after all. What if he leaves and then someone steals you away or hurts you? He can't allow that. He won't

You're his family, someone he cares for. He's already willing to kill for his family and prone to do so but you? He could hear a pin drop and suddenly there's blood scattered on the floor, tainting him and dragging him further down

These people that are near you only stay with you because they want to take you away. They want to hurt you. He can save you, protect you, you'll never be in harm's way ever again

Even when you find out, something that's inevitable because his ability to keep secrets is little to none, and you scream, you run, you cry, you hide from him, scared of what he might do, he doesn't stop. If anything it makes him keep going

Can't you see? These people, all of them, they're trying to hurt you! People have tried before just like they've tried with Cale, with Raon, with his family, they won't change! He needs to keep you safe!

He's hurt that you keep your distance but he won't forcefully pull you back to him. You'll realise eventually. It's all for you. To keep you safe. You're safe with him

Do not repost or claim. Only reblog 💗

[ddarker-dreams]

Yan Childe, Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Beidou & Ningguang / Courting Darling.

Warnings: Stalking, implied blackmail, kidnapping, and gaslighting. Note: this is a bit of an amalgamation from different asks i’ve gotten, put into one thing bc i thirst for these six characters so hard .

Childe:

“What’s life without a little adventure? You can stand to miss work for a day or two, it’ll still be there waiting for you when we get back. People have even gone so far as to say I’m an absolute joy to be around. You want to know who said that? Sorry, that source is staying a secret.” 

Childe is an erratic whirlwind of highs and lows. You never know what to expect from him, and he likes it that way, always keeping you on your toes. He doesn’t bother with having his friendliness appear genuine. If you want to doubt his goodwill, then so be it, he won’t stop you. It just makes it all the more interesting to keep you around should you be wary of his presence. 

He doesn’t care for the traditional conventions surrounding romance. It isn’t his thing, and he’s used to being considered the odd one out of every crowd, so why stop now? Childe doesn’t tone down any aspects of his bloodthirsty personality in your presence. It’s difficult to tell how serious he’s being since most of it takes the form of jokes or other lighthearted jests. In his mind, the fact he’s even spending so much time with you should make it obvious he’s interested. Whether that’s good or not. 

You’re going to be dragged all over the place. Childe’s stamina is seemingly an infinite well, as he takes you from activity to activity. By the end of the day, you’ll be exhausted. Unfortunately, he doesn’t take no for an answer, weaseling his way into your schedule despite your protests. Childe is particularly fond of getting into situations where a fight is inevitable, purposefully taking you to areas with monsters to show off his combat prowess. 

“Did you get a look at that, [First]? Aha, I haven’t had this much fun in ages! You already want to head back? Hm, I don’t know, the night is still young. Stop dragging your feet or I might just have to carry you. Not that I’m complaining, should that be the outcome. It’s up to you. Oh! Now that’s the spirit! I’ll try not to be hurt by how fast you’re moving now.” 

Diluc: 

“Ah, [First], I take it you’re doing well. I couldn’t help but notice you eyeing this book at the market earlier. I’ve had a copy of it for ages, but with how busy things are, rarely do I have time to read. I’d be appreciative should you accept this and give it a better home.” 

Diluc is self-assured in many areas of his life, romance is not one of them. He knows how to carry himself in the company of businessmen, staying polite and vigilant, but this rigid method doesn’t work in his favor when it comes to wooing you. To soften the blow on his side, Diluc tells himself that it was never about a relationship anyway. That his main priority was and will always be to ensure your safety. He tells himself this, but... isn’t sure if he really believes it. 

He’s a perfect example of pining from afar. Subconsciously, he’ll drift towards areas you tend to linger around, hoping to spot you amidst the bustling crowds. Each time he tells himself that this’ll finally be the time he approaches you. The opportunity is set before him, waiting to be taken advantage of, but he rarely follows through with his desire. 

It frustrates Diluc to no end how easily others flock to you. He’ll stand there, still as a statue, eyes boring into whatever pest currently holds your attention. This would be the push to finally send him your way. It’s a surprise to you both when Mondstadt’s wine tycoon materializes by your side, politely asking to speak in private. Truth be told, he just can’t stand the thought of another person holding your attention that isn’t him. 

“I apologize for my abruptness back there. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about for some time, and well... would you consider having dinner with me tonight? I’d appreciate your company.” 

Kaeya:

“It’s a funny thing, really. How we keep bumping into one another like this. Ah... that suspicious expression, it wounds me deep, sweetheart. When did you start looking at me like that, I wonder?” 

There’s no doubting Kaeya’s interest in you, from the first time he sauntered over to you and started a conversation. The problem you have is deciding how genuine his advances are. While Kaeya might not be the textbook definition of a heart-wrenching playboy, you’re familiar enough with the many rumors surrounding him to be wary. It doesn’t help that he’ll point this out to you when guessing the source of your apprehension. 

His methods are, oddly enough, effective. Kaeya balances the various aspects of seduction with ease. He reveals just enough about himself to draw out your attention, before focusing the conversation back onto you. You’ll never get to stop and realize how little you know about the man sitting in front of you, he makes certain of that.

Kaeya might hide certain aspects of himself, but his dubious morality is never concealed. He has you entirely wrapped around his finger, words validating his actions falling from his lips with the utmost ease; he’s a force to be reckoned with. You’ll start a conversation heated about something you’ve learned, only for it to end wondering why you were ever upset in the first place.

“Now, now, there’s no need to get all riled up over something like this. Don’t you trust me by now? When have I ever given you reason to doubt me? You need to take a look at the bigger picture. Hey, take a seat. I’ll sit here all night explaining to you if it’s necessary.” 

→[More underneath the cut].

Zhongli: 

“There must be something that I can assist you with. It may not look it, but I’m familiar with many fields of work, even obscure ones. Please allow me to lend a hand.” 

Zhongli, despite having been around for many centuries, is somewhat clueless in romantic pursuits. He’s aware of his fondness for you, but doesn’t know what to do with it. This leads him to becoming your shadow for some time. He focuses on what he knows best: observation and processing new information. Your every little movement will be analyzed and tuck into the back of his mind for later usage. 

Zhongli’s soft over the idea of you coming to rely on him for everything. He prides himself on his wealth of knowledge and work ethic, believing it a strong appeal, one that he puts on full display when you’re around. It’s not rare for you to overhear neighbors and friends speak highly about Zhongli. They’ll mention in passing how they were having difficulty with something, only for Zhongli to come around and help without asking for anything in return. 

This is exactly what he’s been hoping and waiting for. Zhongli has patience and sets himself up to be a desirable partner in your eyes, the efforts from his labor coming into fruition. Before you even speak to him for the first time, you’re likely to think highly of him, having heard all the ways he’s helped people close to you. Now that the stage is properly set, he’s ready to make his interest in you more evident. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you, [First]. Oh? You can say the same for me? Well, I hope I can live up to your expectations. I had just been on my way to Yanshang Teahouse, would you care to join me? My treat, of course.” 

Beidou: 

“You haven’t lived until you’ve experienced a voyage with my crew and I. I’ll set up a nice cabin just for you, how does that sound? Hm? Special treatment? Don’t worry your pretty little head about that, lass.”  

Beidou’s attention is overwhelming and oftentimes dangerous. Traditional social conventions are nothing but a waste of time for her, meaning that common courtesy is disregarded in favor of always speaking her mind. Which might not be so bad if she wasn’t so amorous. Even the most oblivious person couldn’t miss Beidou’s overt favor towards you.

This reverent display of affection is only exacerbated when she’s drunk, face flushed and an arm swung tightly around your shoulder. She doesn’t care who sees, who’s judging, or what gossip will be born from her actions. Beidou makes a point of showing everyone in the vicinity that even if you aren’t officially partners yet, a claim has been staked on you. 

Whether it be coercion or some other unsightly method, Beidou is intent on bringing you on her ship at least once. Or that’s how she initially phrased it to you. Imagine your surprise, that when you finally caved so she’d drop the subject, her crew was untying the ropes keeping the boat at port. 

“The fun’s just getting started, you haven’t seen anything yet. Don’t get all teary-eyed yet, sweetheart, I know you’ll come around. This’ll be a story sung by sailors for generations to come.”

Ningguang:

“If I’m being honest, not many are given the opportunity to speak to me outside of business-related ventures. I never thought I’d find it this... pleasant. I hope you’ll continue to entertain me as you do now.” 

Ningguang starts off her wooing in a subtle, almost coquettish manner. She is confident in her charm and brilliance. Not many have been gifted in the art of conversation to the same extent Ningguang has, her silver tongue paired with quick intellect making it difficult for you to escape. She’ll corner you verbally without you even noticing it. 

Ningguang finds amusement in how you stumble over your words, pure of heart and not chained down by special interests. Your forthright but considerate demeanor intoxicates her. She’s used to people cowering in her presence or trying too hard to pursue their goals. You might even earn a rare compliment or two, disguised as politeness, that doesn’t register for hours. 

She is a lady of fine taste. The sky’s the limit when it comes to her wealth, which is unrivaled throughout Tevyat, and you’ll be quick to notice this. Ningguang is most partial to sending you traditional Liyue adornments, believing the rich culture behind each piece suits your beauty. She’s also fond of the fact that when you wear her gifts, everyone in the vicinity will know it’s from her, due to its extraordinarily high cost. 

“Do you like my latest gift, little dove? It was made custom with you in mind, an unrivaled display of craftmanship, if I may add. Wear this and carry me with you... always.” 

[arvandus]

Icarus (Overhaul x F!Reader)

Ah yes, once again so late on this. This one gave me grief because the characters kept deviating from what I had originally planned. >.< But I worked through it, and here we are.

This is for the BNHarem's “On The Job” Collab for May, which you can find here.

Also, don’t judge my super simple title headings for my fics 😂 I always do these late at night when I should be asleep, so generic background with fancy text is the best I got to offer.

Trigger Warnings: 18+ ONLY!  1 instance of aggression/abuse (hair grabbing/pulling - nonsexual), unprotected sex (fun in fiction, dumb IRL), mutual masturbation, overstimulation, bondage via quirk abuse, degradation...

I think that about covers it.  Once again, I’m terrible at TWs so let me know if I missed anything or if anything is inaccurate. ���� I just kinda write what I want and don’t really think about the labels when I’m doing it.

Pairing: Overhaul x F!Reader

Word Count: 8281

You hadn’t meant to get caught.  Really, you weren’t even sure what had possessed you to do it in the first place. Desperation? Horniness? Stupidity?

 All of the above?

 All you knew was that it was a poor decision brought forth by the gradual culmination of a single annoying, unavoidable fact: you were disgustingly, shamefully, sinfully attracted to Kai Chisaki.

You weren’t exactly sure how or when it started. There was no “aha” moment, no “big bang” of desire.  Instead, it was subtle, gradually coating your unsuspecting mind like layers of sediment. A shiver down your spine when he spoke your name.  The quickening of your pulse at the briefest of eye contact. And the ever-growing presence of intrusive, curious thoughts.

 Like his hands.  You always noticed them, the white of his gloves drawing your attention like a beacon whenever he was within eyesight.  They were dangerous hands, deadly weapons that you’d seen in action firsthand.  They were a thing to be feared and avoided.  But some strange part of you couldn’t help but wonder... what did they feel like?  You imagined they’d be soft and perfectly manicured, oddly delicate for such a violent man; gentle hands packed with destructive power.

 Or his lips.  They were always covered by his mask.  You never, ever saw him without it.  You imagined what your name would look like on them as he spoke, how they’d feel on your skin.  Would his lips also be soft? How about his kisses? Would they be cautious and controlled, or rough and hungry?

 It didn’t help that he was, in his own way, very attractive.  Just like how his dangerous hands were hidden within innocent white gloves, he was the devil hidden behind a pretty face. A sharp, beautiful jawline. Smooth porcelain skin. A crown of auburn red hair, closely cropped, but still long enough to run fingers through.

 You bet that part of him was soft too.

 The one part of him that wasn’t soft were his eyes.  They were beautiful, certainly… as gold as Heaven’s gates and framed in long, perfect lashes.  But they lacked the warmth of Heaven.  Instead, they spoke of cold arrogance. And if you stared into them long enough, you could see a barely contained disgust lurking beneath their haughty exterior.

 The disgust didn’t bother you, not anymore.  Everyone disgusted Chisaki, and everyone in the Shie Hassaikai knew it. He even made his closest confidants, some he’d known since childhood, wear masks so he wouldn’t share the same air with them.  

 He had you wear a mask too, of course. Simple and white, it covered only your lower face, much like his own.  That much you were grateful for, considering some of the masks you’d seen others wearing.  Your only explanation for the slightly less coverage was that your secretarial position made you a frequent point of contact for those outside of the organization.  You handled incoming calls, visitors, and scheduled meetings between Chisaki and his affiliates.  No doubt he wanted to ensure you were making a good impression while still operating within his mysophobic requirements.

 First impressions were everything to Kai.  Even more so since he took the Boss’s place under dubious circumstances. Still, his long-held reputation for extremist thinking and violence preceded him, and not everyone was in support of his unexpected promotion.  As a result, many people within the organization parted ways following Chisaki’s rise to power... and soon after they mysteriously went missing, never to be heard from or located again.  You had no doubt that it was Chisaki tying up loose ends by sealing loose lips.  After all, they say the mouth is the source of disaster.  And Chisaki valued confidentiality above all else.

 The message he sent was clear: adapt or die.  When given such colorful options, the choice on whether to go or stay became a simple one.

 So, you adapted.  As long as you followed orders, kept your eyes down and your mouth shut, you were safe. After all, it was better to be the right hand of the devil than to be in his path.  The only person you really had to fear was Chisaki himself, and you knew him well enough by now to know how to stay on his good side.

 And all in all, it really wasn’t all that bad.  Sure, you had to orchestrate the occasional clean-up when he disposed of someone who displeased him.  But that wasn’t much different than what you’d dealt with when you worked for the Boss, either.  Sure, the aftermath was messier and it happened far more often.  But violence was violence, and when you worked with the Yakuza long enough, you got used to it.  And despite the odd working conditions and ever-present undertone of danger, you remained good at your job. As such, Chisaki brooked no complaint. He tolerated you, and you tolerated him. Interactions were brief, words exchanged were polite and respectful even though they lacked warmth.  But it was just a job, right?  You didn’t need warmth.

 So why did you feel so dissatisfied?  Why did you constantly feel that something was missing, a longing you couldn’t entirely describe?

 The need only ever waned when Chisaki was in your presence, whether it was to discuss upcoming meetings or simply passing by your desk to get to his office. The dissatisfaction would melt away into a warmth that extended deep into your fingertips whenever the cold-hearted man bothered to look you in the eyes. And when he wasn’t looking at you? It was like being thrown into a winter blizzard, the aching cold returning to pull the corners of your mouth down into a silent frown.

 You craved his attention.  It was shameful and pathetic and you could only imagine the scorn he’d give you if he knew, but you didn’t care.  To be graced with the attention of a man who cared for no one brought a different kind of satisfaction.  The rare treats of attention Chisaki did grant you, whether intended or not, scratched an itch that only he could scratch.

 As time passed, the intrusive thoughts became more frequent, evolving from odd curiosities to shameless lust.  They began to occupy your dreams, forcing you awake with a hot ache between your legs. That was when you really began to realize how in deep you were.  It wasn’t just a simple “attraction.”  You wanted him.  At first you tried to deny and ignore, suppress and excuse.  After all, this was Overhaul.  Wanting him was like wanting the sun in your hand, and just as dangerous. Apparently though, it made little difference to your hormone-addled brain.  It didn’t help that the secretive, forbidden thoughts brought their own special addictive flavor of the taboo.  

 You began to act different in front of him.  Nothing too obvious, of course.  After all, you knew Chisaki wasn’t the type to indulge in desperate women. To be honest, you weren’t even sure Chisaki indulged in women at all.  All you did know was that whenever women tried to gain his favor through flirtation, Chisaki quickly and harshly shut it down.

 So, it was little things... the extra second to release a paper from your grip after he’d grabbed it, the lingering of a glance.  You didn’t so much change the style of your attire – skirts and blouses were already the norm for your position – but you changed the colors. A blouse that matched the purple feathery softness of his jacket, golden jewelry that matched his eyes.  Little messages waiting in secret to be picked up, yet subtle enough that they could be excused as nothing more than coincidence. It was risky, but the thrill of the game gave you an outlet for your roiling feelings.  In the end though, it made no difference.  There was nothing about you that seemed important enough to turn Chisaki’s head more than was professionally necessary.

 Which is where the state of things were when you found yourself alone in his office one evening. You had thought he was still working at the time. You’d stepped away to shred some incriminating documents and burn the scraps in the kiln outside.  It was your last task for the day, so you’d entered Chisaki’s office to announce your departure for the evening.  Except when you entered, the space was empty, with all traces of him gone.  No papers remained on his desk.  His gloves and plague mask were gone.  With an annoyed huff you had stood there, bothered that you’d missed him.

 Quietly, you walked to his desk, and gently caressed the mahogany wood.  It was immaculate of course, free of dirt and fingerprints.  You knew it would be because he cleaned his space every evening before he left, and you cleaned it every morning before he arrived.

 You sighed as you retrieved the paper towels and cleaning solution.  No harm in giving it a second scrub to save yourself some time tomorrow morning. It wasn’t like anyone would be foolish enough to enter this space without Chisaki present anyway.

 You should have just left it at that.  But as you walked around his desk to wipe the surface with the damp towel, your bare legs just below your skirt bumped his chair. Soft leather, still warm from where he had sat, greeted your exposed skin.

 That should have been your first clue.

 But your mental alarms never sounded.  Instead, you figured you had just missed him.

 You should have just left, but you didn’t. The warmth on the chair was enticing you. He was gone, right?  Left for the evening.  What harm could it do to indulge just a little bit?  With your heart pounding with excitement, you carefully sat down in the warm leather. Immediately the scent of Chisaki’s body wash and clean clothes cradled you.

 That should have been your second clue.

 But you were already too wrapped up in your enjoyment.  You relished in the sensations, leaning back as you closed your eyes.  It was the closest you’d ever felt to him, as if his very presence was there with you. Your desire purred deep in your gut at receiving its first nibble of satisfaction.  If you closed your eyes, you could pretend he was there, holding you.

 Your kept your eyes closed as your imagination began to take root like weeds in your mind, making your skin feel hot.  Your fingers grazed the inside of your thigh, dipping beneath your skirt while your heart pounded.  What if those were his fingers?  The vision combined with the sensations of touch and smell were delicious, and you wanted more.  You dragged the pads of your fingertips up even higher, your arm starting to push your skirt up with it.  Your legs parted easily, as you let out a shaky breath.

 You shouldn’t be doing this.  Not here of all places.  But there was something so sinfully satisfying about it, the danger only heightening the sensations.  After all, the reward was only as great as the risk it took to earn it.  And this was the highest risk you could take, short of literally throwing yourself at him.  Besides, it wasn’t like your fantasies were ever going to come true. Maybe satisfying yourself - right here, right now – would be enough to finally give you the peace of mind you needed.

 And dear God, did you need it.  You could already feel the heat growing in your loins, the moisture dampening your panties.  Your fingers finally brushed against the warm cotton fabric covering your sex and you let out a soft gasp.

 What Chisaki didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.  He was gone, right?  And you were going to clean up any traces of your little visit before you left.  He’d be none the wiser.

 Your fingers slipped beneath your underwear to meet the hot, slick flesh of your folds, your clit already plump and ready with arousal. You knew it wouldn’t take you long to cum, but you wanted to enjoy this, to savor it as the only opportunity you’d get.  You certainly weren’t going to do this again.

 So, you teased yourself, fingertips softly dragging slow circles around your entrance before dipping in.  A shaky moan left your lips, the quickening of your breaths matching the racing of your heart.  In and out you dragged your fingers, relishing in your sleek, sensitive walls, occasionally breaking your rhythm to spread your juices over your swollen labia. You revisited your clit and stifled your moan with a bite of your lip as you began to slowly massage it with practiced skill.  It felt so fucking good.  The scent of yourself mingled with the scent of Chisaki, and you spread your legs wider, leaning back farther into the seat.  You could feel the surge beginning to swell, and you knew it would be soon. Vivid fantasies danced on the inside of your eyelids, and you were fully enthralled, fingers skimming fast circles over your swollen bud as your other hand began to massage your breast through your blouse.

 “Fuuuuuckk....Kai....” You moaned.

 “What do you think you’re doing?”

 The familiar voice made you jump so hard, you nearly fell out of the chair as your eyes flew wide open.

 There was Kai Chisaki, staring down at you from across the desk – his desk. And there were you, sitting in his chair, spread eagle.

 Your breath was knocked out of you and you felt light-headed with panic.  You caught sight of the shoji screen behind him, wide open to the evening air.

 FUCK. Of course.  You forgot to check outside.  He must have stepped out for some fresh air before returning to his office.

 Shit. Shit, shit, shit.  You hadn’t heard him enter.  How long had he been standing there??

 “I asked you a question.” The man seethed through his plague mask.  His gloved hands were clenched into angry fists, and his eyes... eyes that you’d always craved to see you... well, they saw you now, and you were terrified.

 Immediately, you closed your legs and stood up from his chair. Your mouth babbled soundlessly before your voice finally came, tight and small.

 “I’m sorry.  I’m so so sorry.”

 “I didn’t ask for an apology.” He hissed.

 “I know, I’m sorry.” You blubbered.

 “Come. Here.” Chisaki demanded.

 You obeyed, struggling to adjust your skirt as you approached him from around his desk.

 “I didn’t tell you to touch your clothes.” His tone was quiet and constrained yet sharp as a razor’s edge, each word uttered with meticulous precision.

 You stared at him in shock as you slowly removed your hands from your rumpled clothing.  His eyes raked over you, top to bottom, and left you feeling... exposed.

 “Look at you...” he grumbled.  “Disgusting.”

 His mask was unnerving, blocking the lower half of his face and keeping you from being able to fully read his facial expression.  His gold eyes were threatening – predatory like a wolf.

 He was going to kill you.  You knew it was coming. He’d killed others for far less.  But you weren’t ready for it.  You didn’t want to die.

 You dropped to your knees and bowed low in front of him, shrinking yourself to fit beneath his harsh glare.  “Please, Mr. Chisaki-“

 “Overhaul.”

 “Overhaul!” you corrected, as you bowed your head lower to the ground. “Please forgive me.  I meant no disrespect.”

 “No disrespect?” he sneered.  “You debase yourself in my seat, my place of business, and claim no disrespect??”

 His left hand reached forward at lightning speed and grabbed you by your hair, forcing your head back until you were looking him straight up at him.  You winced against his harsh hold on you, yet clenched your teeth in an effort to keep your silence.  He glared down at you as his next words came out through what you could clearly hear as clenched teeth.  

 “Clean it up.”

 With that, he shoved you away from him. On shaking, clumsy legs you pushed yourself to your feet and made your way back to his desk, your skin hot with shame and your ears ringing.  

 You did as he commanded, grabbing the cleaning solution and spraying his seat before carefully, meticulously, wiping every inch of the rich leather.  Minutes passed in silence as you made sure that no spot went unnoticed, even ensuring that the table was once again cleaned as well. By the time you had finished, Kai’s temper seemed to have dwindled to a simmering flame.  His hands were no longer clenched in fists at his sides. Instead, they were tucked deep into his pockets as he supervised you.  It did little to comfort you though... you knew that Chisaki’s reflexes were faster than you could dodge.  He’d catch you before you even reached the door.

 Not that you’d try to.  You knew better.

 When the chair was finally pristine, you disposed of the last of the soiled paper towels in the wastebin and returned the cleaning solution to its home. The task was done, but you didn’t stop. You picked up the trash can with the intent of disposing of its contents; you knew Chisaki wouldn’t want it sitting in his office.  

 It was all to buy you time. Time to figure out what to say or what do to convince Chisaki to spare your life.  But you didn’t even make it to the door before Chisaki’s voice halted your retreat.

 “Where do you think you’re going?”

 “I... I was just...” you stammered.

 “I didn’t give you permission to leave.”

 You swallowed and set down the trashcan.  He approached you slowly, until he was a mere few inches from you. He was so close that you could smell his cleanliness and see the pupils of his eyes dilate as he stared at you.  Slowly, he grabbed the mask that was covering your mouth and nose and removed it from your head.  You stopped breathing.

 There was something... electric in the air.  You could feel it on your skin, making your hairs stand on end and your flesh tighten with goosebumps.  His eyes peered at you intently, taking in every subtlety of your face.  Your lips, your eyes, your skin... and beneath the weight of his stare, you could feel the fear start to transform, replaced by something else entirely.  Something familiar that’d been plaguing you for months, lighting your veins with fire and threatening to incinerate you if it wasn’t released.  After all, part of his allure was the danger. And he hadn’t killed you yet, which meant... something.

 Chisaki’s gaze began to wander beyond just your face, taking in your still rumpled clothes.  The top couple buttons of your blouse were undone, exposing the skin of your neck and the edges of your bra.  Your skirt was still askew, and although he couldn’t see it, you became acutely aware of your still-damp underwear trapped between your folds from when you had hastily closed your legs earlier.  You stared back at him, waiting for him to do something, say something.

 And that’s when you noticed it... a faint flush across his pale cheeks, peaking out from beneath his mask. His chest was rising and falling with each breath, and it was as if he were contemplating something, silently weighing a decision in his closed-off mind.

 A strange bubbling sensation began to build within your chest, foreign and oddly out of place.

 Hope.

 Finally, Chisaki spoke, his voice unusually calm considering the trouble you were in.  “Follow me.”

 Not one to disobey him, you did as he requested as he made his way over to his desk and sat down in his chair.  Then, with an open hand, he gestured at his desk.

 “Sit.”

 Confusion.

 “W-What??” you stuttered.

 “I said sit.” He replied.

 You did as Chisaki commanded, fitting yourself between his legs and his desk before hopping up slightly onto the surface you’d just cleaned. You were right in front of him now, your hands in your lap and your ankles crossed as you realized just how perfect this arrangement was for him to see directly up your skirt.  You worried your lip between your teeth as you watched him assess you.  His elbow was resting on the armrest of his chair, his fingers supporting his face along the jawline as he stared at you with his head cocked at an angle. If it were any other situation, you’d say he looked almost bored... but the glint in his eyes spoke of something else entirely.

 “Continue.” He stated.

 “What? What do you mean?” you asked.

 His eyes stared at you knowingly.  “You didn’t get to cum, did you?”  You shook your head, stunned at his words.  “Continue.” He repeated.

 “Right here?”

 “Where else?  It was good enough for you earlier.”  His tone dropped slightly as his eyes narrowed.  “Continue.”

 Your heart pounded in your ears as you uncrossed your ankles, and with shaky hands began to trace your fingers up your thighs just as you had done before. Except this time, the experience was entirely different. Instead of closing your eyes like before, you kept them open to stare at your observer, watching for his reaction.  So many times you’d fantasized about this... about his eyes being on you and only you... and you weren’t going to miss a moment of it.

 With your eyes locked on each other, you inched your way up to the space between your thighs, your legs parting to grant you access.  Chisaki didn’t look down.  Not right away, at least.  Instead, he continued to watch your face, his body still and silent.  With the heat of his gaze on you, you finally reached your center where your warmth greeted you.  It was still slick from earlier, your fingers sliding easily along your labia as you began to tease yourself for the second time that evening.  You let out slow, shaky breaths as your fingers rubbed slow, lazy circles over your glossy lips.  

 Chisaki still didn’t break his gaze from your eyes, and a part of you wanted him to.  You wanted him to acknowledge what you were offering him and know that he liked it. A small, devious smirk found itself on your lips as you pulled your fingers away from your pussy to show him the evidence of your arousal stretched across your fingers.  It caught his attention just briefly, eyes flicking to your display, before he watched you lick the glistening strands from your fingertips, the soft sounds of your sucking filling the empty, quiet room.

 Chisaki’s eyes narrowed, and the smirk on your face widened.  Soon your fingers were back between your legs, massaging your clit again as your skin began to feel flush with heat.  Round and round the pads of your fingers went, with painstaking slowness that you drew out just for him.  You wanted to show him how good his presence made you feel.  You wanted him to see how badly you wanted him.  Your lips became more swollen, your clit more sensitive. Already you could start to feel the tension build.  It was almost too easy, your body ready to surrender at the drop of a hat.  But you weren’t going to let it happen, not yet at least.  You wanted to draw this out, to savor it in case it never happened again.

 With half-lidded eyes you stared at him as you parted you folds for him, fully exposing yourself. For the first time, his eyes drifted from your face to stare directly at your desire for him – your tight hole open and waiting, every inch of your swollen cunt drenched in glistening arousal.  Chisaki was captivated and you felt your blood surge.  You needed more. With your fingers still spreading yourself open, you dipped your middle digit into your tight heat.   Pleasure bloomed within you and a soft groan vibrated from the back of your throat. With each draw of your fingers, your breaths quickened, your back arching as the tension began to build.

 You struggled to keep your eyes open, to watch Chisaki as you brought yourself closer to orgasm, but it became increasingly difficult. You were single-focused now, chasing your much-needed release with each plunge of your finger into your soft depths.  Your body accommodated it welcomingly, and so you added a second, once again relishing in the renewed stretch that caressed your inner walls. The faster you pumped your fingers, the better it felt until your nerves were singing that familiar hum.  You flowed seamlessly into the final phase, your wet fingers leaving your entrance in favor of rubbing hard, fast circles over your clit.  The finish line was in sight now as your body sprinted with tense, aching muscles and breathy moans.

 You came with a gasp, back arching and thighs twitching as you rode out your orgasm. As you neared the end of it, you dipped your fingers in one last time as your walls gave one last final spasm of pleasure.  Gradually the wave of your euphoria calmed, returning to the gentle, lapping waters of desire that still moved within you to the rhythm of your heartbeat.

 You opened your eyes to see Chisaki still staring at you silently, his eyes once again locked onto yours. The flush across his cheeks was very much apparent now, yet his posture remained unmoved. Still, out of curiosity, you dared a quick glance down to his lap to see his hand strategically placed over the bulge in his pants.  Was he trying to hide it?  Because he was failing.  Or was he stroking himself through his clothes when you weren’t looking?

 “Again.” He ordered.

 Your eyes bulged.  “Again?”

 He didn’t bother to answer, instead waiting silently.  You were a bird trapped in the golden cage of his eyes as your mind struggled to recover enough from the hazy aftereffects of your orgasm to think straight.  He wanted you to do it again?

 At first you were hesitant. You knew your body was still sensitive from what had just transpired.  But then again… your eyes stared at Chisaki’s crotch again as he waited for you.  No doubt he saw you staring, yet he did nothing, said nothing.  It almost felt like an invitation… or a dare.  Do it again and see what happens.

 Fuck. You’d already gotten under his skin... might as well see how deep you could go.

 Between your orgasm only moments before and the juices still coating your pussy, the sensations of your touch at first felt almost... numb.  Except for your clit.  That part was still sensitive, making your muscles twitch and your breath hitch in your throat as you moved your fingers over it experimentally. You kept your touch gentle at first, careful to give your body time to respond as you reawakened the lust that still lurked in your core.  With dark eyes you began to stroke yourself for him again, pulling soft pleasurable moans from your gently parted lips.  It was definitely more intense this time, and you could already tell that this next orgasm would surpass the one before it.  Still, you drew it out as you watched Chisaki.  Or, more specifically, watched his free hand.

 It didn’t take long... you watched his fingers grip around his hard-on through his pants, his hand slowly moving up and down his restricted length.  You bit your lip at the sight and immediately felt a generous wave of hot arousal bloom between your legs, your nipples hardening achingly.  It wasn’t enough to capsize you into ecstasy, but it certainly pulled a needy whimper from your lips.  

 You dipped your fingers into yourself, feeling your walls flutter as you imagined what it would feel like to have Chisaki inside of you.  With each curl of your fingers the heat grew, like the sun reaching its zenith.  You wanted it.  You wanted to cum so badly.  But you wanted to see him even more.  So, you neglected your puffy clit in favor of unbuttoning your blouse just enough to grant you access to your sensitive breasts.  You pushed aside the cup of your bra to free the plump flesh, the bud at its center tightly puckered.  With deft fingers you massaged the soft skin before rolling the nipple slowly between your fingers, pulling more soft gasps and gentle hums from your lips.  The more you groaned and teased yourself, the more Chisaki stroked himself as he watched you, his eyes glowing with hunger.

 It wasn’t until you began to lose yourself, your eyes beginning to drift closed as you moaned and whined to the ebb and flow of your pleasure, that your patience was finally rewarded.

 You could hear it over the sounds of your lewdity – the ‘click click click’ of a zipper being pulled down.  You opened your eyes, not even attempting to hide your eagerness, as Chisaki freed his cock from his pants.

 It was beautiful just like the rest of him; long with a slight curve, its tip red and shining with precum.  Veins stood out in relief, trailing his length like vines, thick and beautiful. You swallowed at the sight of it, desperately wanting to know what it would feel like to have that in you.

 You hadn’t realized your own movements had frozen until Chisaki’s smooth voice cut through your thoughts.

 “I didn’t tell you to stop.” He said, as cool and professional as ever as if he didn’t currently sit before you with his dick in his hand.  

 He was gloating, you knew it... your stunned silence at the sight of his cock stroked his ego just as much as you touching yourself for him did. And you knew that, above all else, Chisaki loved to have his ego stroked.

 “Y-yes Mr. Chisaki...” you whispered, before your fingers began moving again.

 You continued to stroke and play, penetrate and rub as you watched him take his long cock in his hand and begin long, steady strokes.  Even now, he still kept his gloves on, and somehow that made his every move even hotter.  He was no longer propping his face up with his other hand.  Now, he was sitting up straight, eyes on your needy cunt as you put on your show for him.  You could see it, the tension in his temple that came and went, hear the ragged, quick draws of his breaths through his mask.  Your own arousal grew in response, egged on by him searching for his own sweet relief at the lewd sight of you.  It blossomed like a watered seed as you drank in the man in front of you – his hand pumping, precum dripping.

 It was the push your sensitive body needed.  You came surprisingly fast, your orgasm crashing over your body with greater intensity than the first.  Moans and gasps ripped from your throat as your body spasmed, and you made no effort to quell your cries, too consumed by your own pleasure.  With eyes squeezed shut, your hips rocked as you grinded yourself against your hand, your entire body singing in unbridled bliss.

 You were given no respite.  As soon as the pleasure eased just enough for your hips to still, Chisaki spoke.

 “Again.”

 Your eyes, still closed, flew open to look at him with incredulity.  You weren’t even recovered yet, your cunt still twitching with the aftershocks of pleasure. You knew that touching yourself without some sort of break was going to lead you down a jagged, torturous road of overstimulation.  It made your legs start to close up instinctually in denial.

 Your mouth moved silently before you pushed the words out.  “B-But... I can’t....”

 Chisaki’s eyes narrowed, his brows lowering... and along the edge of his mask, you could see his cheeks lift slightly.  He was smirking at you. Cruelly.  

 “You can, and you will.” He said.  A wave of his fingers told you to reopen your legs for him, and you did, slowly, as if you were a puppet on strings.  “Again.” He repeated.

 Chisaki took a moment to remove the glove from his stroking hand before giving his cock a couple more languid strokes.  You stared at the exposed skin in awe.  It was everything you imagined it’d be... pale, smooth, nails clean and perfectly trimmed.  Between his hard cock and his ungloved hand, you stared in shameless longing as an excited chill coursed down your spine.  Maybe… maybe if you were good…

 You swallowed the dryness in your throat and returned your fingers to your core, flinching as you brushed against your sore, overstimulated clit.  Chisaki returned to pleasuring himself as you performed for him, his hand pumping steadily.  Watching him masturbate to you was delicious.  He didn’t rush, instead opting to taking his time, his hand moving smoothly from base to tip, occasionally pausing to run his precum over the head, the shine glinting in the light.  You subconsciously licked your lips, wondering what it would taste like. Would you lick it from his tip? Or his finger?  Maybe both?

 You matched your pace with his, letting his own strokes guide your hand.  The synchrony made your pussy ache more than ever, even as your body screamed for freedom – a break from the constant wave of stimulation that you were subjecting yourself to.  It made you feel closer to him, more connected - as if he were a part of your pleasure without actually touching you.

 But dear God, you desperately you wanted him to touch you.

 He continued his strokes, slow and easy.  Whether it was for him or for you, you weren’t sure... you weren’t even sure if he was aware that you were pacing yourself with him.  His speed gradually quickened, the muscles of his forearms tensed and twitching as he pumped his hard cock with growing fervor. It was the hottest thing you’d ever seen, his eyes starting to roll back in his head as he began to lose himself to the pleasure, legs twitching slightly as he came close... Your heart pounded with excited anticipation as you dipped your fingers into your core, feeling your walls flutter with need.  It was happening... he was going to cum...

 But he never did.  Instead, his pace began to slow as his eyes refocused on you. That was when you realized….

 Chisaki wasn’t trying to cum yet… he was edging himself.

 Maybe he was waiting for you.  Or maybe he had his own agenda.  But either way, it was clear to you that he was delaying his orgasm.

 The hypocrite.

 Still, you wanted to please him. You wanted to give him want he wanted, because then maybe he could give you what you really wanted.  But no matter how hard you tried, no matter how fucking hot the entire situation was, your own orgasm evaded you.  

 It was more than just the repeated orgasms and overstimulation.  The real issue was that your fingers no longer satisfied. Not after seeing what he had to offer, and certainly not after seeing how horny you made him.  You wanted him to touch you, to put his hands on you, to feel his cock in you... A frustrated whine escaped your lips as you felt your resolve break.

 “Please, Mr. Chisaki...” you begged.  Chisaki’s eyes left your open pussy to lock with yours.  Their golden depths burned holes into you, and you licked your lips under the heat of his stare. “Please touch me...”

 Chisaki froze mid-stroke.  “Touch you?” He said it as if the idea repulsed him, yet his eyes betrayed him as he looked back down between your open legs.

 “Please,” You begged.  “Don’t you want to?”

 His brow was deeply furrowed, and you knew he was having his internal debate, just as he’d had before.  After all, what you were asking was no small order.  You knew how he felt about touch.  No doubt he would have already been balls deep in you had it not been an issue for him.

 But that was why you begged. And pleaded.  And groveled.  Anything to make him set aside his golden rule, even if just for one night.

 “Please...” you whined one last time.  “I’ll do anything.  I need you, Kai...”

 Something about you using his given name did something.  His eyes widened slightly, his flush reaching down to his exposed neck.  Then his eyes narrowed, as he stood from his seat.  You watched with a mix of excitement and trepidation as he carefully removed his jacket and loosened his white tie.  He towered over you, his stare pinning you somewhere between his contempt and his hunger as he undid the cuffs of his black shirt and rolled up his sleeves to the elbows. It made your pussy throb and your heart pound as you stared back at him, completely vulnerable.  He stepped forward slightly, filling the space between your legs with his presence.  Even just the graze of his pants against the inside of your knee was enough to set off fireworks on your skin, causing your breath to hitch in your throat.  His cock was still out and hard, mere inches from your tight, needy cunt, and it took every ounce of willpower not to scoot down and close the gap between you.

 You waited.

 “Touch you...” he muttered through his mask, his voice low.

 Chisaki’s eyes raked over you, taking in every inch of you.  Your trembling, parted lips and large pupils; your exposed breast with its perky, hard nipple; your swollen and glossy cunt framed in ruined underwear that was carelessly shoved aside; the sweat from your thighs coating his desk.

 “So fucking filthy.” He breathed.  The profanity sounded strange on his lips, almost more like a prayer than an insult.

 He stared at one of your thighs as he slowly placed a warm, gloved hand on it. You reacted immediately, gasping at his touch, and his eyes darted to yours.

 “...And needy.” He added.

 From your peripheral you could see his other hand grip his cock and begin to pump it. You tried to watch... you wanted to watch.  But the heat of his hand on your thigh made nearly everything else fade away until it was all you cared about.  Your breaths began to come in hot pants as your body trembled beneath him.

 “I didn’t realize that you were so desperate for me.” He said calmly as he continued to stroke himself.  His gloved hand squeezed your soft flesh until you were moaning from the mixture of pleasure and pain. “Pathetic.”

 You were pathetic.  But you didn’t care.  You’d say anything, do anything, just to have him keep touching you.  And if he wanted you to beg?  To cry? To humiliate yourself to earn his cock?  You’d do that too.

 His hand slowly eased its grip as it began to move up, up, up until his thumb nestled in the crook of your thigh, just shy of your sensitive, swollen folds. Your hand immediately made way for his as you laid down completely onto his desk, your world spinning.  A warmth fell over you like a blanket, every fiber of your being pulsing at a low hum; you were a glass vibrating at a frequency just shy of shattering.

 Chisaki’s voice floated through your haze like a faraway song carried on the wind. “You were so eager at first.  So willing to shame yourself – shame me – to get what you wanted.”  He scoffed. “Now you can’t even do as I say.”

 You could feel his thigh twitch against yours as he began to pump himself faster. His cock was so close to your pussy that it was torturous.  It made you want to cry.  You could feel the warmth of fresh juices begin to flow from you, coating your entrance in invitation, as you prayed to all the gods above and below for him to enter you without mercy.

 But it never came.  And his hand never ventured further.  Slowly, your thoughts trickled back ever so slightly, and you realized he was waiting for you to speak.  Slowly, around a heavy tongue, you made clumsy words.  “I... I’m sorry...I’m trying... is hard...”

 Chisaki tsked.  “You’re afraid.  Afraid of pushing past your limits. So now I’m going to help you.”

 His gloved thumb crossed the threshold to your swollen bud, and your world exploded into color as a sharp zing of pleasure erupted from between your legs. You cried out, your body spasming, hips writhing to escape his touch. It was too much...

 “Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded.

 Then he did something you didn’t expect – his bare hand released his cock and slammed down onto the desk.  The surface rippled beneath you, transforming until smooth arches of dark mahogany wrapped themselves over your arms, effectively pinning you down.

 Your heart pounded wildly in your chest, your breaths coming out in quick, panicked gasps.

 “Kai!” you protested.

 He bent over you and grabbed your jaw in his gloved hand, his plague doctor mask inches from your face. “You wanted me to touch you,” he whispered.  “Now you’re going to get what you asked for.”

 The look in his eyes wasn’t as controlled as before.  Sure, the disgust and hunger were still there.  But there were more emotions now, peaking through the cracks of his practiced façade.  Anger, contempt, fear, desire, longing... and something else; something wild and unhinged.

 Something within him was on the verge of breaking, of being set free, and you were the one responsible.

 He straightened himself up and returned his gloved hand to your sopping core, his cock once again in his bare hand.  His thumb found its home again, nestled firmly against your engorged clit.

 He wasn’t gentle, he wasn’t slow.  Instead, his thumb ran swift, relentless circles, the digit igniting every frayed nerve. Each swipe had you crying out as wave after wave of sharp, jagged pleasure assaulted you, without so much as a second of recovery in between.  And as Chisaki raced you towards that inevitable cliff, his own hand pumped himself hard and fast.  His strokes began to become erratic, his composure slowly slipping as you began to unravel before him, your whines and cries luring him to follow you to the point of no return.  You could feel his own legs began to spasm against your inner thighs, his hips beginning to jut forward with each drag of his palm along his hard shaft.  The gap between your two bodies began to close, until you could feel the tip of him brush against your core. In that instant, you came undone beneath him with his name spilling from your drooling lips.

 The temptation was too much.  He entered you as you came, his cock burying itself within your clenching walls with a single thrust.  Your legs wrapped around him instantly as your body exploded into a mess of tears, shrieks, and trembles.  With one hand on your hip and one working your clit, he fucked you through your orgasm as you cried and panted, his own grunts joining your one-person symphony as you felt every fiber of your being shatter with white hot pleasure. It was all-consuming, disorienting.  You weren’t even sure you were a person anymore.  You could feel nothing else, see nothing else except the man inside of you, hovering over you, filling your existence.

 It didn’t stop. Even after you were a blubbering mess, tears streaming down your cheeks, your thighs and cunt sore, Chisaki kept going, his cock reaching new depths as it dragged against your spasming, sensitive walls.  His breaths were heavy, each pant labored until he ripped his mask off his face.  It was like a switch had been flipped, changing Chisaki from a man in control to nearly animalistic.  Teeth bared, sweat beading across his forehead, golden eyes absolutely feral. His thrusts took you past your orgasm, unrelenting, and you cried and babbled for him to stop, it was too much, your body couldn’t take anymore.  But even as your string of incoherent words begged for the end, your body spoke of a different kind of freedom, your legs tightening around Chisaki’s waist in an effort to pull him impossibly deeper into you.

 Chisaki snarled, releasing his hand from your cunt as he continued to fuck you, and removed his remaining glove with his teeth.  Suddenly, the white fabric was being shoved into your mouth, gagging your broken words behind its white cotton that smelled and tasted of you.

 “Shut up.” He growled.

 You could see the hives breaking out across his damp, flushed skin now at the contact, but it no longer seemed to matter to him.  And it didn’t matter to you either.  You were wrapped up delirium, your eyes glossing over and rolling into your head with each drive of Chisaki’s hips. Your hips couldn’t even keep up with his thrusts anymore; his movements were too rough, too fast.  All you could do was lay there and receive him as he pounded you without restraint.  That familiar knot was forming again, a dark beast built from the broken pieces of the last. It was a terrifying thing, a formidable presence that you felt building within yourself that would surely decimate you.

 “This is what you really wanted, isn’t it?” Chisaki grunted through clenched teeth. “You wanted me to fuck you senseless, to ruin this tight pussy of yours like the greedy, selfish bitch you are.”

 His words washed over you and you gave the faintest of nods, your mouth still gagged.

 “So, you’re going to take what I give you. You’re going to cum when I say, as often as I say.”  His cock hit deep as his thumb gave a final press against your clit. “Now.”

 You screamed around the cotton in your mouth, back arching and arms straining against the wood trapping you as the tension finally erupted.  It tore through your veins, making your fluids gush and your pussy clench like a vice around Chisaki’s pumping cock.  Not a moment later, you heard him groan followed by the hot sensation of his cum coating your walls.  It only enhanced the waves of pleasure still wrecking you and your pussy milked him greedily as he emptied himself in you.

 The comedown felt like it would never arrive. Your nerves still sang too loudly, the aches echoed too deep.  But finally, Chisaki’s hips stuttered to a stop and your own body lay limp beneath him. It felt like you were submerged under water, every sense dulled or muted, as you stared hazily at the ceiling.  Chisaki was still in you, his dick twitching sensitively each time your body gave a weak aftershock. You had thought he would pull out, leave you there like the ruined mess you were to go clean himself up.  Now doubt he’d return to his senses any moment and be repulsed by what transpired.

 But he never did.  Instead, he braced himself over you, his heavy, hot breaths coating your exposed skin as he settled through his own comedown while you warmed his cock.  You felt the desk ripple beneath you and suddenly your arms were freed from their restraints, the wooden surface back to its original state.  A moment later, he filled your view as he leaned over you, and you had a brief moment of panic, wondering if you were next. Was he going to overhaul you now? After all, he got what he wanted...

 But he never did that either.  Instead, he removed the glove from your mouth as his eyes traced over your face, marking every feature, every nuance.  Your parted, chapped lips... your glossy, sweat-stained skin... the exhaustion in your eyes...  His thumb came up to wipe away at the tears drying along your cheekbones before running the smooth pad over your lower lip.

 Then he did something you didn’t anticipate, something that surprised you above all else. He bent down and captured your mouth with his, his wet tongue gliding into your stunned, open mouth.  It was strangely slow, uncharacteristically tender, and entirely unexpected.  The fog you’d been swimming in a moment before lifted slightly, and you began to kiss him back, your arm wrapping up around his shoulders before tangling your fingers into his damp, auburn locks at the base of his neck.

 Whatever it was, it was short-lived.  He brought a hand up to grasp the hand you had around his neck, his fingers twining with yours as he placed your hand back down on the desk, pinning you within his hold. He pulled away from the kiss and stared down at you with a dark smirk tugging the corners of his wet lips.  And his eyes... his eyes burned gold like the sun. Not a beautiful, gentle gold that kissed open delicate flowers and melted winter snow.  No, this was a force of unrelenting destruction, the kind that burned deserts, scorched forests... and melted wax wings.

 You were Icarus, fueled by foolishness and arrogance. You’d flown too close, fueled by a false sense of confidence that you could handle whatever it was that lurked within him, that your lust was enough to match his.  But you were quickly learning you couldn’t.  His fire burned too hot, his hunger too deep. He was going to devour you until there was nothing left.  And really, what did you expect from a man who denied himself every human urge in his quest for perfection?  

 The sun could never be controlled.

 And Pandora’s box can never be closed.

 Slowly, he lowered his face next to yours until you could feel his lips brush against the shell of your ear.

 “Again.”

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

more late night thoughts because i cant sleep and i wanna talk abt shadow!

now... look. i'm not gonna meme this and slap a #daddyissues on the guy, but let's unpack his strong preference for female companions (and that wasn't an intentional doctor who joke, @authorleaandres has to stop enabling the crossovers)

maria: self explanatory, but basically the blueprint!

rouge: the person closest to him, whom he trusts the most (debatable but i believe it to be true and y'all know i'm the only correct sonic opinion ever)

amy: the person who literally made him remember his purpose, which enabled him to sacrifice himself for the earth. also, when she hugged him by mistake in SA2 he didn't react negatively, despite showing a distaste for physical contact in canon (especially unannounced or nonconsentually!)

let's compare this to:

sonic: his literal rival. say what you want about sonadow and i'm not denying their mutual unspoken respect and bond, but their arrogance clashes for a reason: they're meant to not get along!

knuckles: they're literally so fuckin tense and bitter with each other, it's amusing but unsurprising given their respective isolations, arrogance, and tendency to rival others and question everyone's actions with distaste

silver: kicKS HIM IN THE FUCKING HEAD! yeah he's somewhat impressed with the guy and mentors him, but onwards they seldom get along unless it's for the greater good (silver doesn't trust him).

okay, these are the biggest ones but i'll do some other brief ones:

infinite: generated his villain arc and kicked him in the head too

vector: mehhh... walks away from him and only half helps him (plus it's up to you!) in his game. if you count sonic x he's kind of a dick to vector too lmao

eggman: respects him more than most of the cast, but also fucks his shit up a lot

black doom: ... skip so i dont make the lamest joke

gerald: ... skip again for the same reasons

mephiles: arguably shadow's best foe because their relationship fucking rules i love it UGH someone remind me to make a post on them

okay okay you get the point, shadow and guys don't seem to work out off the bat... but it feels like i'm skipping some important male characters, right? AM I...? NO.

omega: his other best friend alongside rouge who he cares for so damn much i don't even need to elaborate. aha, omega is a ROBOT.

metal sonic: he has such a sad yet beautiful sense of compassion for the lil fella; him and omega recover his body in heroes, shadow is always looking out for him, and also THE ENTIRETY OF RIVALS 2 OH MY GOD. oh yeah, metal sonic is also a robot!

charmy bee: now it might seem weird to bring him up because shadow doesn't have to be nice to him (just like with vector) but unlike the chill croc, charmy IDOLIZES shadow and is generally considered the most annoying character besides like, omochao. (sorry charmy you irritating thing, i love you but i get why others don't!). just like with amy, shadow could very explicitly tell charmy to fuck off, but he doesn't. why? HE IS A CHILD. the fact he lets charmy stick around and has been present enough in the kid's life to be a role model... i need to draw them 🥺

tails: even though they've worked against each other, shadow seems to admire tails' intelligence and innovation, and has worked with him on occasion. besides boom and x where he beats the shit out of tails, shadow does like the guy. why? he is ALSO A CHILD! however he is a wee bit older which is why shadow sometimes wants to kick him around a bit :") (side note: these are the only two *main canons that give tails a confirmed love interest: cosmo and zooey. old enough to date? old enough to get kicked by shadow!)

notice a trend? yeah. by just taking a handful of characters (arguably the ones closest to shadow in game lore) it's clear that shadow is drawn to the female cast and generally more comfortable with them. robots can be gendered i GUESS, but they're literally non binary y'all idk what to tell you 😭 also children don't count. unless you're holding hands which means you'll catch those hands!

i'm not saying shadow hates men or anything (i mean it would be funny though for the memes) but it's clear that he has issues with authority... male authority. male... fathers who have manipulated and weaponized him... and his only positive formative experience pre big T trauma was a girl... maria... y'all see it right? i dont have to spell it out or make a joke 😎

if you're wondering why i left espio out specifically because they get along really well off the bat, it's because clearly they have mutual unspoken crushes bc they're fruity. i'm literally not biased lmao WHAT no i'm not debunking sonadow and infinadow and whatever other ships y'all have because i'm getting shadpio brainrot... lol no thats not me!

SO TLDR: shadow feels safer with female identifying characters, technically genderless characters, and non binary entities even if they're masc coded bc robot brr. GOT THAT? NO FUCKING TERFS HERE BC EVERYONE IN SONIC IS GAY AND TRANS SO DONT EVEN TRY RUINING THIS

if you made it this far into one of my late night shenanigan posts, then you know me well enough that the bar is on the floor so uh:

(it's muffled bc he's blasting it on the ARK and this is what the planet hears)

[sempercry]

Let this be a mark of stupid/random things in your ask box-- an actual question to start though.

Favorite House of Ashes AU concept AND/OR Favorite HOA headcanon?

That is all (for now dun dun dun) 👁〰👁💛

Oooh oh no... I hope this doesn’t make you regret asking! I always tend to ramble and love having any excuse to talk on and on about this game 😂

Putting under a cut because it got ridiculous (big apology in advance... like seriously!):

AUs

Let me start by saying that for Jalim I think two HoA moments are really integral to them developing feelings for one another, and those would be (1) Jason and Salim opening up/clearing their consciences, and (2) Jason going back for Salim and Salim saving Jason's life with the stake throw. 

With that established, my favorite Jalim AUs are the ones that still have their attraction/connection to each other formed through similar-ish acts of  selflessness/sacrifice/vulnerability, being forced to overcome differences, and/or another demonstration of character that draws them in (as opposed to a purely physical attraction). I take the two scenes above as "aha" moments for both of them that I think opened up the possibilities for something more... otherwise the opportunity would be missed, not even considered among everything else going on. (open to differing thoughts on this! I just love them)

Touching on my favorite headcanons a little, I tend to lean toward a Jason who has suppressed a lot of his personal urges/desires at the expense of his own happiness and sense of “purpose” in life (and that may even have one-sided feelings for Nick that he'd never dare to express for a variety of angsty reasons). I suppose in some AU circumstances, he wouldn't have to feel as much pressure or need to hide who he is or who he's attracted to, but him hiding behind facades and denying feelings is such a large part of the character we see in the game that it's hard for me to imagine what a Jason who doesn't go through the defining moments in HoA is like. Thankfully others are more imaginative than me so I can explore through them. And of course I also want him to be free to live his best unrepressed life, too, so... *conflicted!* 

ALL THAT BEING SAID I pretty much enjoy exploring any AU premise! And the short, simple answer I should have given is probably that I enjoy seeing art AUs of fantastical subjects (vampires, mermaids, bird people, etc.) but love reading fic AUs of the events in the game.

WAIT! Also AUs where the NPCs (Clarice, Dar, Joey, Merwin) get to live are also nice. I’ve seen the group dynamic done so well and everyone’s voices and personalities getting the chance to shine through. Plus then my tragic ship Clarachel is a possibility. Great stuff!

Headcanons

Since I’ve rambled on already about Jalim, here are my favorite headcanons of Jason with the other playable characters (I love Jason, can’t help it). Fair warning that I’m something of a canon stickler and favor in-game clues and actions and dialogue, if that helps explain my way of thinking on some of these and why I keep referring back to game events:

- (Nick) Whether Jason is consciously aware of his attraction to other men or not (or is asexual/demisexual), as said above I kind of like the headcanon of him having feelings for Nick that he’s too professional/responsible/afraid to act on. Like, in his mind, why ruin a good thing? Also, he doesn’t really want to get kicked out of the marines thanks to military policy at that time. So I’ve had the following premise in my head for a while and haven’t known what to do with it: 

Probably a Nick-centric thing, where Nick tells Jason for the first time vaguely about his thing with Rachel, maybe a week or two before HoA, and how things seem to finally be looking up after the devastating checkpoint incident. Jason’s genuinely happy for Nick at the news, especially if it means he’ll stop trying to talk to him about the incident, and because privately the guilt hasn’t been letting up on his end. But Nick keeps going on about the mysterious jawn (he has to explain that one - “the what?” maybe Jason mishears as “john” 🤭) on base that seems to be the source of things looking up.

Jason tells Nicky he’s proud of him, but does so in that way where he says the concluding sentiment twice. And by this point, Nick already knows Jason’s tell when he’s lying, so he finds it odd but doesn’t push him on it. Worries a little, but he has time with Rachel to look forward to... so he lets it go. Little bittersweet.

Wasn’t ever sure if it’d make a better fic or comic, but now I’ve shared it and can be at peace haha. Free idea to whomever wants it/feels inspired.

So I don’t really ship Kaychek beyond friendship/quietly unrequited - in my mind, Nick isn’t interested in men at all. Like, I wouldn’t say he ever seems like he’s flirting with Jason, Eric, or Salim in the game, even when he has a good rapport or knows them well. I’m pretty open-minded with HoA’s many combos and options for ships, though - this is just sort of my default :) for the angst!!! Makes it all the sweeter then when Jason finds unexpected love with Salim... and the feelings are mutual, too. 🥰 

- (Eric) In my mind, Jason never goes on to have a good relationship with Eric, even under best case circumstances where all playable characters live. After all, regardless of whether the colonel was being a hardass or nice when they met, Eric and his satellite put Jason’s team in danger. Some of them got killed. Eric couldn’t have known exactly what they’d find under the shepherds’ huts, nor that they’d be ambushed, but I’m not sure that’d matter much to Jason. And then with how little Eric was able to take command or lead in any useful way while they were going through hell... and he wanted him to leave Salim behind... I just don’t think he’d have much respect left for him by the end. Maybe if he’s able to hold his own in the hut finale, does his best to help smooth things over if Salim is captured, etc. but I dunno... As a result, it’s tempting to make him an antagonistic force in fics, which I understand is upsetting to some fans (sorry!). It’s just for the sake of that juicy conflict. Eric does have good qualities and is helpful in the game as a character, I’m just not sure how much Jason would see it that way. Again, I’d be open to reading fics exploring otherwise - give me all the content! 🙏🙏

- (Rachel) All “Queen Bitch” aside, I think Jason really does respect and appreciate Rachel in his own way (it’s a term of endearment! ;D). Meanwhile, he’s probably a refreshing presence for Rachel while in the HoA-- neutral to the relationship drama and focused on the task at hand. They have so many great interactions in the game, from promising to come back for her in the cocoon, to explaining the WP/apologizing for Eric, to talking about being sick/infected and Rachel being able to save Jason’s life AND disarm him twice. They’re a lot of fun and though I don’t really ship them together, I appreciate their working relationship. They can have disagreements about what to do about Clarice and Rachel’s infections, but that just makes it all the more interesting. At the least, he respects and appreciates that she wouldn’t have gotten him and his team into the situation in HoA in the first place.

Related note, currently contemplating a post-HoA fic where Eric and Nick have died, Salim walked off into the sunset, and Jason was able to tell CENTCOM where Rachel was cocooned. So thankfully she’s able to corroborate parts of his story and they help one another through the aftermath over many cold ones. Maybe they become temporary roomies, idk. ;) I was thinking Salim might have shot Eric, too, lending more drama since Rachel would have a hard time understanding why Jason would still want anything to do with Salim or be wanting to contact him. They’d share in their deep grief for Nick. Maybe Rachel would eventually help Jason reconnect with Salim. After all, the cocooning idea that saved her life was Salim’s idea. And it paid off... for better or worse. 

So basically more angst and feelings. Anddd now I’ve spoiled it! But honestly if anyone’s made it this far, that’s fine 😆 I might not have time to actually write a whole multi-chapter thing, after all

Anyway, thank you for the ask and for coming to my Ted Talk 🙈 please accept these virtual cookies if you made it to the end 🍪🍪🍪 I just love these characters and all the possibilities, and I’ve had so much fun reading other people’s headcanons and AU faves. All interesting! Mad respect for everyone’s preferences in this fandom

[marimopeace]

d. gray-man still fucks me up...

in the best of ways, even after all these years plus breaks on my end as a fan and hoshino's circumstances.

loved all things gothic and fantasy in middle school to escape my life via power-wielding teens (i.e. 07-ghost, pandora hearts, soul eater, karneval, hakkenden, etc.) and d.gray-man was huge for me since i was still in a phase where i was binging all the long anime series i could since it gave my attn span something to latch onto and be immersed in for a good amount of time. tbh i can't tell if my attn span has gotten even shorter considering i usually substitute streaming social media videos over tv nowadays or better since i'm able to better sustain interests in specific niche things?

i switched to consuming content on a more seasonal basis in high school but i became more of a manga reader so at the time i was still on the nose for the rare new d.gray-man chapter. i was so excited for when hallow was announced! i think the hallow promo visuals + posters were some of the last things i shared on my old tumblr blog actually lmao. didn't love hallow as a show but i loved it for what it brought back to me in terms of bringing hoshino's drawings to life via sound + color and seeing ppl turn into fans via gifs in comment sections. that's part of the reason why the furuba reboot meant a lot to me too tbh! always so nice when you can see new and old fans come together to show artists the love they deserve <3

took a break from d.gray-man specifically since the searching for a.w. arc was just a lot for me to take in chapter by chapter since it was hard to keep track of intricate plot details without needing to re-read some chapters for every release and that's not how i enjoy content personally. and i guess from there life just kind of ? came and went? college + growing up in general with new life obligations have changed the way i pursue entertainment aha.

i don't know what switched it on but i ended up spending this past weekend going through everything from scratch! i haven't sat down to marathon 100+ chapters/episodes of anything in a long time since i either keep up with shorter serials now or keep up with things on a monthly basis and wowwww the immersion hit different this time fr XD i swear i felt like a kid again!

but wow going through the entire manga + anime bit by bit from my new position in life really made me appreciate hoshino's storytelling a lot more; it's not so much that the plot of d.gray-man aged well, but that the whole series works together to tell one of the most cohesive stories i've seen for a fantasy shonen (esp with such a young protagonist--allen is the age of a high school sophomore!!!!!! a literal child!!!! someone be on his side kthxJohnny).

when i say i went through bit by bit i MEAN IT i fully had a list of episodes via wikipedia out and i was going through chapter arcs as they were recreated in the old anime series i went in completely XD god i'm crazy.

but it felt so sweet and so wonderful to dive into the adventure head-on.

i'm trying to do the same with the hallow sequel but reading/watching d.gray-man like this is really making me see how rushed it was ^^; it's taking more chapters to get to where each episode of hallow ends and i get why hoshino was so peeved with both shows now to be honest for the out of order details or skipping of content.

i'm also really resonating with hoshino's anger towards TMS for the hallow promo materials and i get why she went as far as to shoot their bank accounts in the foot bc the way i started tearing up during hallow episode 6 with talk of the lotus, flashbacks, and the hand reaching up to the sky....ㅠㅠ #bigoop

kanda shouldn't have been shoved into a yaoi narrative for the sake of money (nor allen esp considering his age) since it completely goes against his character arc and everything he is with alma. i'm getting so fucked up by their past lives' love story and their current again like when i say the tears i'm shedding come from something so old and deep inside of me ㅠㅠ (oh lorde it's so sad!!)

i had to pause my marathon since i spent my monday without wifi bc of a storm in my area and it'll prob be a while until i can finish re-reading/watching until the end of hallow. i'm excited to read new saying goodbye to a.w chapters though! i know it'll definitely be worth waiting these past few years <3 seeing allen's character growth as he matured as a "destroyer who saves" and how he grapples w mana's influence is fascinating and exploring the nitty-gritty of the morality that pervades the Black Order is just! ugh love this kind of worldbuilding with strong characters sm

planning this next content binge will be tricky though since i meant to catch up on the furuba reboot before it ends next week...welp i'll see how this goes ^^;

// time to get to writing this thesis marimo! //