#I need the refresher

[thegargantuangourdii]

Have some emo boyfriends for your first day of pride

I love nightmare mode sm all the designs are so cool (they’re on a roof)

Also peach

[radios-universe]

what is your opinion on Becky?

well, i believe in good character development so i’m choosing to look past the whole.. dated ben hope and fell out with tori spring things. i’m also taking party girls as canon because i Believe!

becky reminds me of a lot of my friends in the way that tori reminds me of me. i’m glad her cameo in radio silence shows her kinda come to her senses and realise tori was right, without being petty about it. she just kind of laughs to herself about it. i wish my friends would get to that stage at one point.

also, she has cool ass hair.

[fixing-bad-posts]

just found out about ao3 THANK YOU GOD i am high on fanfic!!!!!

[vinnybox]

🟩⬛Mr. L

[egophiliac]

I think Grim should also get a shirt

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Daddy, don't go.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[domi091]

You looked at his brother weird

[teaboot]

if ur a murderbot nerd now do u have any fun opinions abt it yet?

Oh my goddd you have no idea

I really, really, really like Murderbot because it comes at life with this perspective we don't often see that is very real among people who have already been through traumatic experiences, who developed skills and abilities to suvive that were once useful but no longer have context- that search that traumatized people go through to recalibrate and reorient ourselves in a world where we no longer really need those things to survive.

A bit personal here, but my own issues personally involved a lot of psychological abuse that made it difficult to trust my own perceptions of reality, and as a result I found I was very easy to lie to and manipulate.

To handle this, I became obsessive over writing things down, cataloging details and making notes of things as they happened- I'd carry recording devices and make audio recordings and stay up late at night to transcribe what they'd picked up, read those over and over again to reassure myself of things I wasn't certain about.

While doing this, there were others close to me that I felt responsible for, who I had to protect from others and protect myself from at the same time. Life was about two things: Evidence, and defusing threats

Over time, I learned to trust myself as my memories matched what had been recorded where their narrative didn't, but I never really kicked the habit. Like Murderbot, I had added something to my own programming that reassured me I was safe, that I was in control of myself, that I couldn't be mistaken or crazy or broken or used.

I'm only on book two, but already I see myself in Murderbot again. No spoilers here, but when I left home- left that dangerous context- I didn't need to repeat these patterns to survive anymore, but I still did, because I didn't know anything else anymore. It felt safe, comfortable, knowing knowing that the past couldn't repeat itself, because I'd written that flaw- blind trust in myself-  out of my programming and replaced it with something else.

Still, though, I'd become something specially suited to thrive in a very specific environment. Nothing else felt right like followinghigh-risk situations, like witnessing and watching and recording and knowing I had proof of the truth where others might not.

People took notice. I wound up in security by accident, but's an environment that I thrive in due to the same patterns and behaviours I originally developed when I had no other choice. I climbed the ladder pretty quickly, once supervisors caught on that my reports were the most accurate, most objective, most factual, detail-oriented and timely. I keep others and myself safe and prioritize public safety above all else, and I perform well under pressure

Now I'm in a position where I often wonder, do I enjoy this job, or is it just what I'm good at? I have a set of skills now, but do I have the option of choosing not to use them? What would I be, if not this? Could I be anything else? Can Murderbot be anything else?

It has a set of skills that set it apart, make it different, special. It does what it knows best. But is it free? Does it want to be? What does it want? Does it have to do what it was built to do? What if it didn't?

I know what I'm good for. The idea of deliberately leaving what I'm good for for something uncertain, that I might hate, that I might be useless at- the choice to give up what was so important to me for so long and become deliberately obsolete?

Let go of my entire purpose? The only thing I know, that I fit so well into but don't actually know if I enjoy? Now that I can choose? Now that enjoyment is a luxury I can afford to consider?

Yeah, that resonates.

I like the Murderbot series so far because it feels the way I feel: Like the most significant and formative part of my story, the part where I became what I am, has already happened

And now I have to just. Keep going

Into... what?

It feels absurd. Like a microwave giving up on reheating food and deciding to start a life around abstract dance.

So, uh. Yeah. It's really very wild to see this same philosophical-ish dilemma I've been digging over in the back of my mind and in therapy for the last forever laid out so plainly in a genuinely exciting and enjoyable story like this. I feel much less alone, and I... kind of really need to see how it resolves, I think.

So, uh. Yeah. Read Murderbot, I guess

[onerudegentleman]

omg hiiii *bats eyelashes*

[reverintherevery]

they wont leave my brain and i have no time to actually color any of these,,,, ugh. I've been listening to "Light of the Sun" by Rustage on repeat.... ANYWAYS, AU were Macaque would sign this with Wukong, because i keep imagining she signs the chorus.

the animation that lives in my head with this song is so swag i swear.

using @crispmbee wukong design because DAMN... girl... literally watching her always all the time.

[nicky-jr]

catboy tony. yeah sure why not

[perfectmanisperfect]

FUCK U IM A HUMAN LET ME INNNNNNNNN

[fraternum-momentum]

bonus: "washing off" Kylar's wounds:

[goldensunset]

i have a disease where i need to make stupid khux things at least once a month or i die

[amusl02]

Son of Ogre

[artibirdi]