#I need other people to experience it
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Is it the Lottery. Tell me it's the Lottery. It's gotta be the Lottery. Please.
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#I need other people to experience it#to stare at the wall and go down a spiral of ouroboros-like thinking on ethics and fairness#to sometimes stop eating their mac n cheese and stare at the wall when they remember it for 5 hours straight#To have the urge to talk about it like it's a Zombie virus that makes you want to bite and infect others
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Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!
#ISAT#in stars and time#siffrin#loop#I truly mean it when I say that this was the best game I have played since Disco Elysium.#It pulls off some of the best examples of Ludonarritive Harmony in a video game...possibly ever?#Not to mention just...wow. What a great story. What a tale of twists and introspection. What a tale about the need for home and connection#I know many of you have trusted me before with media recommendations. Trust me one more time.#Do you want to experience the torment of being in a timeloop? And *still* have fun and feel like your time is being respected?#PLAY IN STARS AND TIME!#Do you yearn for complex characters and love unravelling mysteries? PLAY IN STARS AND TIME!!!!#Please heed the content warnings; I took them a little too lightly on my playthrough! They are there for a reason! Don't be like me!#This game means a lot to me and so many others. On the small chance the dev sees this (they are on tumblr after all):#Thank you so much for all your hard work in creating this game and seeing the project through.#It has been a year for us fans but many years for you. So thank you!#I hope it has been a joyful year for you! Watching as people descend into shrieks of agony from playing your game.#It's good! It made me vomit blood. I had so much fun! I felt like I was torturing the protagonist when I played it. I loved it! I cried.
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Honestly, there is a certain type of fetishizing of violence that occurs when you are the victim of abuse - wherein people talk directly to you about how much they fantasize about your abuser/s dying and being killed - "all abusers must be killed!" they say.
As a victim of prolonged abuse, I never felt cared for when people indulged that information to me. It often feels like my abuse is being exploited for others to enact their own violent fantasies and secret desires - my abuse means nothing to them in the same way that I didn't matter to my abusers. It's not support - it's just another cycle of violence.
I'm begging people to care more about victims and survivors than they do about retribution of abusers. Nowhere along the way should your focus on the abuser outweigh the people affected by their abuse. If you truly want to support abuse victims and survivors, start with us
#mental health#abuse#abuse recovery#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#i for one find it SO insulting when people take MY abuse story and make it about THEIR homicidal fantasies toward my abusers#let me be selfish and say: let MY experience if abuse be MINE#that's a position i hold for every victim and survivor. it is YOUR story and you at the LEAST deserve to narrate it as YOU see fit#maybe you DO agree and wouldn't care if your abuser/s died. that's not up to us to decide for you though#and you CERTAINLY don't need other people to speak *for* you about how you ought to feel
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Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore
They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package
#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#peri#peri fairywinkle cosma#dev dimmadome#fop a new wish#peri fairly oddparents#a new wish#periwinkle#the fairly oddparents#dev#my art#fanart#I like how both Peri and Dev is the type who prefers not directly express their feelings because they want to be seen as cool/independent#and be loved by the people that they care of#in other words#a tsundere//hit#jokes aside I like to think another reason why Dev cried during that scene is because-#he realized he's doing the same thing that his dad has done to him but on Peri#and yet Peri still cares for him despite his treatment towards him#like how Dev still loves his dad despite being a terrible father#and just..want to do everything right by him to earn his dad affection#man#Also ngl I have a hunch that Dev might still remember since Hazel's ''no rule'' wish was pretty vague#so maybe he counts in that wish?#plus he was wearing sunglasses before the memory wipe which maybe that won't affect him as well?#you can see I'm coping rn#I do hope this is only temporary and we will see them being back together in season 2 tho#giving them both some time to reflect and growth#because Peri clearly needs more experience in his job and Dev needs his character development for season 2
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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HC they first met a year or two after Yelan got her vision; post fighting the in abyss but when Kaeya was still navigating his identity from Kaeya, Brother and Right hand of Diluc Ragnvindr to Kaeya Alberich, Cavalry Captain and Quarter master of the Knights of Favonius.
#We know Kaeya's a bit of a sadist and does leave his men in the dark most of the time#Back when he he'd been newly appointed i feel he'd be quite reckless as to how much 'pushing' his knights could handle on missions#used to working from diluc's shadow rather than being the one to direct commands#And Yelan after her experience in the Abyss chooses to work alone and secrectively so that the lives of her comrades won't be in danger#She sees that Kaeya operates very much like her but he does not have the luxury to work as 'freely' as she does when it comes to official#missions for there are still people working under him#(ofc both of them do whatever they want when it comes to going of abyss side quests)#There's no way she doesn't feel some sort of kinship they're really similar in many aspects#she does not want to see a repeat of her certain mistakes#Yelan is also questioning how the actual fuck do the knights operate because why is a 16yr old beefing with her to get to a mafia boss firs#They come to 'good terms' as time passes where they have mutual respect for each other#both of them try their best to outwit each other form time to time of course#Kaeya being petty(er) and Yelan being 'i need to set this guy straight'#But back then after seeing Kaeya work missions for the first time Yelan's thinking that this kid is too smart for his good#additional hcs for Back In That Day#Yelan: -still hasn't gotten her signature bob. -often uses a crutch because Abyss did a number on her and her pre existing chronic illness#Kaeya- has a fuckass mullet#yeah.. my apolocheese for the ramble#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#kaeya#kaeya alberich#yelan#yelan genshin impact#kms mention
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I think one of the most realistic parts about Baby Reindeer (2024) is how much Donny downplays the abuse he faces
I know everyone wants to hate on him for being “stupid” and blame him for everything that happened because yes from an outsiders perspective he made questionable choices but isn’t that what HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE DO?
I know so many people who’ve “played nice” or tried to downplay abusive behavior. You try and tell yourself “It wasn’t that bad”, or that it was just some crazy experience that should be forgotten. It seems so much easier to stay silent and just try to move on.
You don’t wanna start problems
You don’t wanna be mean
You don’t wanna be the bad guy
#they blame him for not just telling her to fuck off every chance#I’ve seen people say he shouldn’t have kept giving her free drinks#or even he should’ve never given her tea#AS IF SHOWING BASIC KINDNESS WAS THE PROBLEM#people forget that he was still a victim#Donny’s character admits that he messed up in his interactions with Martha but people need to stop and think about the situation#the fear the anxiety everything that comes with being stalked#I know I’ve dealt with creepy guys at work or at school and I didn’t say anything#and so many other people have had the same experiences#it’s easy to say oh I’d do this or I’d do that#when it’s not happening to you it’s easy to assume you’d be better and smarter than them#baby reindeer
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I love that In Stars and Time gives the nonconsensual kiss a proper horrified reaction, by the way. Most media where a character can kiss someone out of no where either make it a funny thing or the "romantic" thing, but here Siffrin kisses without permission out of no where and Isabeau reacts correctly! He pushed them away! Because thats surprising, and fucked up to do to someone with no lead up and no permission! Isabeau had no context, and at the time when the kiss happened, was under the impression that Siffrin didn't like touch which can have a variety of horrible reasons for it. Not only that but... We don't know what face Siffrin was pulling and I don't think it was a nice one. Which, again, means that we don't have all the context either! This is a horrible event that has horrible consequences and I love that it does. Because it's something that is horrible and objectively one of the worst things Siffrin did to one of the others in the loops, so I'm just!!! So excited it had bad consequences!!!
#Isat#Isat Siffrin#Isat Isabeau#bad touch event#Isat spoilers#I dunno I think it's great commentary actually cause this game has a very big focus on forcing change on others#And how that can affect people who are AceAro of some flavors#Which is so interesting because Siffrin tells Mira she doesn't need to change that part of herself and that they are like her#At least in the ace part. And then they do this? Try to force a change in a way that they had just denounced?? Its!! Interesting!!!#Also don't fucking look at me I'm just getting sad about how many characters get nonconsensual kissed in media#And it's framed as a ''good'' thing#Anyway as a fellow Ace... Seeing Siffrin do that makes me both excited and horrified because I'm sure Siffrin has their own experiences wit#Hearing threats like that or getting harassed about kisses and stuff and the fact that they turn around and do it to Isa...AAAAAHH!! yaknow#I know that parts not canon but fellow aces... You know what I'm talking about! I just can't imagine Siffrin doesn't have at least one#Moment like ours!!! Hhhhhhhnnnnnn
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Me, Us, and You
Synopsis: You've been used one too many times, and find comfort in the arms of those you love.
Foul Legacy x Reader Pronouns: Gender Neutral (no pronouns mentioned) Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Comfort Warnings: Mentions of being used as an emotional outlet
~ * ~
“Hey… why do people like using me?” Foul Legacy looks up from the chunk of crystal he was batting around, tilting his head curiously. You catch his gaze, inquisitive and concerned, and sigh. “…Sorry. It’s nothing.” He frowns with a quiet trill. Not good- he’s seen this habit before, your way of pushing down your emotions, never speaking a word. Legacy shakes out his fur, rising to his feet and crossing the room before plopping down beside you, chittering in worry. His claws knead against the carpet, nudging and pushing up against you gingerly until you finally huff out a laugh and weakly shove him back. “…You get what I mean." He does. Far too well. He’s seen it happen, from behind a corner as Childe; idly twirling a coin between his fingers, walking up to meet you at your favorite restaurant, or merely happening to pass by on the street.
One, two, three. Then more. The number of times that you’ve been treated as a mere outlet. You’re too kind for your own good, too patient, too understanding. Why can’t you get angry? Why don’t you tell off the people who start using you as an object to vent their emotions to- or at least tell them no? Instead you just smile and nod, offer your advice even when you don’t know what to say since you don’t even know your own feelings and what they mean, but you try so, so hard to lift them up, help them feel strong, better, braver. And they do. They smile again, nod, laugh. Sometimes they take your advice, sometimes they just want someone to agree with them. Whatever the case, they leave lighter, and you leave with a new burden in your arms. It’s fine. You don’t mind carrying it for them, as long as they’re happier- you insist that it makes you happy if they are, too. But inside it still hurts, knowing you only exist when someone needs you to listen. When you need to fulfil a certain role or do something for someone.
They started getting used to it, too. Pulling you into conversations as innocently as a lamb only to pour forth a tidal sea of issues and frustration. They cry and rant and yell and scream and then pat you on the back with a smile with a see you soon and talk to you later. One even paused, looking at your tapping fingers, your focused expression, and told you to write things down. So you could remember them for later, if more things came up- we wouldn’t want you to forget, now would we? A pause, a strained smile, as you fished a notebook and pencil from your bag. It made dread coil in your chest, a heavy weight over your heart. That’s right. You only matter as long as you have use.
There’s a croon, and you blink, shaken from your daze. Foul Legacy stares down at you, crystalline eye wide and anguished. No. No, no, no- he hates that you think of yourself like that, as someone, something to be used. He crawls towards you, cupping your face in his claws and letting out a soft, saddened warble. His wings twitch and flutter, curling in your direction as if he wants nothing more than to cuddle you close and shield you from all the dreadful things in the world, because he does, his instincts scratching at his skull and hissing, biting, gnashing the source of your hurt, trying to vanquish it in battle and make it disappear. Protect. Heal. Love.
Legacy squeezes you a bit tighter, pressing your head against his lavender fluff, grown soft with how much you brush and fawn over it. You think he’s beautiful- you’ve told him before, time and time again. Beautiful, lovely, wonderful- why can’t you see how amazing you are, too? How much you help, how much you matter? Even if anyone else can’t see past their own nose, he knows how much you deserve to be showered with gratitude and affection. His gentle nuzzles shift and crackle lightly, turning to soft skin, scarred hands massaging your arms. Childe presses his forehead to yours, his despair on par with Foul Legacy’s, murmuring frantic words of reassurance filled with tears. Nothing, nothing, nothing. That’s all you ever call your feelings, your wants and needs. You’ve spent so long supporting others that you can’t even remember anything you desire, truly, nothing at all. He caresses your cheek, looking deep into your eyes with an oceanic gaze. Please, tell him something you want. Anything. Please. You shudder, and desperately reach your arms to him. Childe meets you halfway, wrapping you in a firm, tight hug and pressing his face against your shoulder.
He wants to give you everything, yet he knows what you need most is someone you can just exist with, not to help, not to complete a task for them, but just to be in their- his- presence. If you listen to his woes, ever, not even the Archons would be able to stop him from listening to yours, because you deserve it. Friendships go both ways, the world seems to have forgotten. Childe was your friend first, and he’s your friend now, and your love, your Harbinger, your sweet, monstrous Foul Legacy, and he adores you with every fiber of his being. Childe peppers kisses over your face, one hand human, the other armored talons, both him and his Abyssal half comforting you. Yes, they get what you mean. They get what you mean all too well, aching and weeping and watching you suffer again and again, wringing yourself dry for people who toss you away once their problems are solved.
But not with them. Never again with Childe and Legacy, forever by your side. You have no tears left to cry, but they still hush you, gently. Shh, shh… it’s alright. Everything will be okay. Childe sighs as he pulls away, tracing your features with a finger and holding back his own sobs, steadying his voice against his resentment towards the world for your treatment. “Talk to me. Talk to us. Please.” For us, we love you so.
#genshin x reader#childe x reader#tartaglia x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#gi ajax#foul legacy#foul legacy childe#genshin tartagalia#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#foul legacy x reader#sfw#genshin sfw#genshin hurt/comfort#hurt/comfort#genshin comfort#comfort#tartagalia x reader#it's been a while since i've written and this one in particular was not planned#but i've had a lot of emotions recently#the thing about writing stuff down is based off of a true experience#and like in this don't get me wrong i love helping people feel better#but it kinda hurts when you feel like you're only being kept around as a therapist#i just needed some comfort from our favorite silly gingers#i hope other people enjoy as well#kinda happy i was able to write again though felt good#genshin fic
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Maybe it’s my experiences with my culture and having relatives who are immigrants, but the conflict between humanity and the eliksni reads more to me than just a message on xenophobia.
To me, it’s also about how groups who have experienced oppression are often pitted against each other by the circumstances created by their oppressors to keep them stuck in a cycle of violence and mistrust with one other. This cycle keeps groups who share similar pain and plights from extending mercy to each other and joining forces to fight against the systemic forces that brought them both into a hostile state, which is exactly what those forces want as it keeps those groups powerless and unstable.
#destiny 2#destiny#destiny the game#d2#destiny eliksni#eliksni#destiny revenant#dude the beef between groups of people who need to stand up together over grievances that can be overcome needs to be talked about#i have experience with family who refuse to cooperate with people who look and struggle like ours bc of holding grudges#and who does the benefit? the people we are trying to liberate ourselves from#everytime the eliksni and humanity fight the witness rubs it’s hands together#we must stand together or we all will fall#both sides have valid pain that should be respect but more pain is to come if we don’t learn to be better to each other#just some poc thoughts#also stop treating species like monoliths to judge how they should’ve been treated thats witness behavior#eliksni vs humans is not exactly blanket oppressor vs blanket oppressed or Vice versa#it reads more like two desperate groups in two desperate circumstances who continue violence due to prejudice and misunderstandings#we are both two species who are victims of our circumstances and circumstances with ptsd Can make people irrational and desperate
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I’m not going to lie but it’s really weird how book readers will find out someone is a tv show only and then flood their mentions with spoilers.
Somebody might be praising Luke for being nice and then you find book readers in the comments being like, “you’ll see” “sure he is” “he is very nice 😉”. People are not stupid, they’ll obviously pick up on the fact that he is not to be trusted later on since y’all are literally making it obvious that he’s not as innocent as he seems. It’s weird how some of y’all are ruining it for other people.
#we were all gagged when the betray happened so i don’t understand why y’all don’t want to let new comers experience it as well#ruining the show for other people just bc you read the books is whack#some of y’all need to get a grip#PJO spoilers#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians
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sometimes its really obvious how much people dont actually believe presentation=/=gender when they see their nonbinary friend go from extremely masculine to relaxing back into femininity once theyre comfortable with their gender and every time they call it detransitioning with zero indication thats what their friend is calling it. i dont know how to tell you this but sometimes you present a certain way for social reasons and not because thats how you actually feel. sometimes you experience dysphoria about your body that is actually related to how people view you and not how you feel about your body. i really dont think its that uncommon for trans people to swing really hard in one direction for the affirmation and then relax back into a different presentation once they are more comfortable in their gender
#txt#gekkering#idk how to word this but genuinely if you see your friend growing more comfortable in their body and presentation and assume theyre detransi#tioning without them telling you that you should be ashamed and i hope your friend finds someone who is more accepting of experiences they d#dont personally relate to#butch trans women exist femme trans men exist and very masculine AND very feminine nonbinary people exist#i hated my body most of all when i focused on how other people view me. and before anyone accuses me of anything not that you need to but i#do have other dysphoria but its not NEARLY as severe as when i was younger and was obsessed with how other people gendered me#and if that does still bother you thats okay im not saying people who arent bothered by being misgendered are unreasonable or should get ove#r it or anything#but THATS why sometimes your dysphoria from when you first came out can drastically contradict the way you present later in life#such as transmasc people no longer wanting to bind or transfem people no longer wanting to tuck
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I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.
If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!
#mental health#mental health advocacy#it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and#that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people#because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy#obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished'#if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many#but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed...#...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person#i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it#and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around#it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people#it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly)#i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued#anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this#if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you#i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3
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I'm sorry I let down my guard.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#xiao xingchen#God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish#Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it.#The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic.#And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core.#Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently-#come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt#and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people.#So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'.#The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there?#The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible#He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg)#''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.''#Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts.#ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.
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In Stars And Time? More like In Ace And Gender
+ some alts
#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#josh art tag#happy pride yall!#getting to play as a nonbinary protag who is also ace was just so so cool#im hoping to draw the main 6 with their flags for pride#cuz this game and its lgbt-ness makes me so happy and its awesome that its canon!#i also really love the varied relevancy of the lgbt themes#cuz its certainly not the plot of the story#but some characters lgbt-ness is quite important to their backstory or their current struggles!#while for others its just kinda there!!#and i think thats great#its a good reflection of real life and how different people have different experiences being lgbt and how it affects their lives differently#and works well with the story#it doesnt get in the way at all while still being important to the characters#and it even fits into the worldbuilding so well????#truly if there were no mentions of the Gender Themes i think the worldbuilding wouldnt have been quite as good#mirabelle specifically really gets to me...#prolly cuz im. yknow. aroace too#but seeing how she felt she was betraying her religion? how she fept she needed to change to fit other peoples expectations?#and how earlier in the game she does actually say breaking traditions is also a part of the change belief#but she doesnt realize that can extend to her#it all hits really hard for me
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For some weird reason, I've always been fascinated by how wildly different Sampo operates in the Underground vs the Overworld.
Sampo is present in both places and even in official sources, he's not really counted as one side or the other- now that the theory has been confirmed in-game, he's generally just lumped in with the Masked Fools.
But there really is a big difference!
Probably the most obvious and well known instance of Sampo's...business practices *cough burglary and fraud COUGH* in the Overworld is from the Belobog Museum event. In it, you don't find out Sampo is the main culprit until near the end, because Pela has to set up a sting just to catch him in the act. And that sting is necessary all because the initial suspect they arrested, Norbert, had pretty much no idea of his partner's identity. Sampo wouldn't even speak to him face-to-face.
And whereas Sampo is normally very pleasant and friendly with the trailblazer...when he thinks he's talking to Norbert here, he straight up says that they are NOT friends. Like he really shuts that shit DOWN.
There's also an Overworld NPC, Chavez, who heads the "Dark Blue Scam Support Group." And he. Really really really does not like Sampo fjkdasjklfdj
Chavez clearly wants Sampo caught, and has literally no positive feelings about him. So. Why call it the Dark Blue Scam? Why not just out him by name? Chavez obviously doesn't give a single shit about Sampo's dignity or privacy. But he never once refers to him as "Sampo," and even the pamphlets he passes out make no mention of it. No one in the entire support group seems to know how to identify him or how to refer to him except by his hair color. If the trailblazer says his name, Chavez reacts as though he's never heard it before.
(I've seen people say this means Sampo Koski is an alias and not his real name? But Ray pointed this out, and honestly I agree; even the Fools call him Sampo, after all. I think it's just that Chavez never knew Sampo's name in the first place, and given his immense distrust, immediately assumes it's an alias.)
And then there's his characters stories, where he proceeds to pull off a heist in the Overworld while in disguise as Brughel Poisson the entire time. Literally his own stories don't mention Sampo's name even once.
So anyway, all this shows that when he's up in the Overworld working cons, Sampo is incredibly slippery and secretive about his identity. The only people who seem to know him are Pela, Serval, and Gepard. He doesn't get close to anyone else, and is even surprisingly unfriendly. Nobody knows his name. No one knows his face. He has zero qualms about backstabbing or double-crossing, and even plans for it in some cases.
Meanwhile, down in the Underground, I'm pretty sure literally the worst thing we hear of him doing is scalping tickets in front of the Fight Club. Which isn't even illegal in a lot of places (although it's certainly a dick move).
In Hook's companion quest, a vagrant miner steals Fersman's equipment and tries to sell it to Sampo. Even before the trailblazer and Hook jump in and out the vagrant as a thief, Sampo hesitates to buy it because it sounds like stolen goods, which he doesn't want any part of.
Even knowing that a geomarrow detector is rare and incredibly valuable in the mines, Sampo makes no attempt to double-cross Hook or profit off of her loss, and even tells her who to go to to get it fixed.
And my favorite example of Sampo in the Underground is the Survival Wisdom adventure mission. In it, Sampo starts up a business with Peak, another miner. And like. In wild contrast to all the cons he pulls above ground, Sampo is actually super nice and helpful here.
Just the same as with Hook's quest, Sampo talks to Peak face-to-face, with no disguises or barriers. When the trailblazer finds them, they're just in the Great Mine, no secretive meeting places. Peak knows Sampo, is familiar with him, and calls him by name. It's not even a con! There's nothing illegal going on; it really is just a business partnership. Peak is more than happy with their deal, he's even pretty enthusiastic about it, because thanks to Sampo he can now make enough money to get by while also accommodating his chronic fatigue.
The only person Sampo lies to in this whole ordeal is the trailblazer, who he manipulates into getting Peak's mining equipment back from the vagrants that stole it in the first place. And when it's done, he rewards them with a legit treasure map.
So when he's working in the Underground, Sampo is MUCH more upright and lawful. Part of this is probably to do with his "business" model- Sampo only takes advantage of the wealthy, and poverty runs rampant in the Underground. When he charges Peak an extra 30% (the same percentage he charges Norbert as a consultation fee in the museum heists- Sampo seems to go by percentage instead of a flat rate, which means his prices are more fair for lower incomes) for carelessly losing their supply, Peak literally starts counting out pocket change.
Dude's working for pennies and good will down there dknsmdmd
And you can twist this into a Robin Hood thing if you want- Sampo IS technically working to feed orphans and heal the sick. He says himself he's more than happy to make up the shortfall between the greedy and the marginalized- I mean he says it in the shadiest way possible, but I doubt the people benefiting from his work really care that he's a slimeball if it means they can survive another day. Even the two heists he pulls in his character stories are literally just him stealing absurd amounts of food.
Personally though I think it is solely because of Natasha, and Sampo is hilariously well-behaved specifically for her, because she keeps him on a short leash JSKZJMSMSKS
#honkai star rail#sampotasha#hsr natasha#sampo koski#hsr sampo#hsr#today's post is brought to you by the letter Y. for the Yaps fdklsajfkd#'for some weird reason' I say only to realize through writing this post that the reason I like it so much is because I think-#-Natasha having Sampo by the short hairs is funny dkxjmskskdmdm#so sampotasha if you want or Sampo & Natasha if you want either or#I love Sampo behaving just for her because she holds a LOT of power in the Underground and he knows she could destroy him if she wanted#she could blacklist his business and run him out of Boulder Town if she really thought she needed to#Natasha exiled her own brother who eventually died in the cold because he was running unethical medical experiments on unknowing civilians#and granted what Sampo does is nowhere NEAR as bad as that but she also probably does not have nearly as much mercy for him dkdjdmkskd#I'd like to think they hold a decent amount of camaraderie for each other though. and maybe even some affection.#they work together like all the time after all. sampo is in the clinic with natasha so much that hook thought he was really sick.#and for as much as he relies on her for business she also relies on him for resources.#it's not really an exaggeration to say a LOT more people would be dead without Sampo constantly smuggling goods across the border.#maybe I should just make a post about their relationship sometime because I do very much love it skzjkskdk
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