#I need help genuinely

[phantoms1kisser]

I NEED HELP

guys I'm losing faith that I'll ever be able to play the bass bro don't even know where to start I can play one bass line and that's it.... WHERE DO I START??? HOW DO I GET BETTER EFFECTIVELY????? CAN SOMEONE ACTUALLY COMMENT BC I GENUINELY NEED HELP IM LITERALLY LOSING MY SHIT I SOB EACH TIME I TRY PLAY.

[egophiliac]

tsum events really are just the best, huh

[mechanicalinfection]

Please help.

My Ko-Fi page

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier

[marciaillust]

> be me

> going on my first holiday alone (aka driving to a DnD summer camp)

> 5h car trip ahead of me to the other side of the country

> 4h into the trip the engine dies

> stranded in a forest

HELP LMAO

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

oh hey! i was reading a fic the other day where Wangji was once misspelled as Wangu. which leads me to: MDZS Pingu-style??? noot noot!

Do you think love can bloom on the sea ice?

[hotgirlslovecyclops]

be nice!

logan howlett x reader x wade wilson

SMUT

word count: 3606

a/n: i don't know WHERE this came from. i felt this deep in my soul and needed to get it out i am SO SORRY JESUS (i just proofread this... i need to be put down). if anyone's out of character i am so sorry (no i'm not).

If there’s one thing Logan hates, it’s Wade. If there’s one thing Logan loves–even if he won’t admit it–it’s you.

His life is very confusing, living with the both of you. He’ll be with you and he’ll be calm, but then he’ll hear Wade breathe and you can see the irritation forming. He’s only been living with you for a few weeks now, but it’s started to feel normal, waking up to your cooking or your soft humming as you sweep.

This morning, he cracks open an eye when he feels something bump against his leg draped off the side of the couch. He’s ready to grumble, assuming it’s Wade, but he lets out a relieved breath when he sees you instead.

“Sorry,” you whisper, offering a gentle smile. “Didn’t mean to.”

Logan groans softly, stretching as he shifts on the couch. “Don’t worry about it.” You’d gotten used to this, his gruff behavior. It became like second-nature, being able to tell how the slight differences in his attitude gave way to what he was really feeling. “Come on, sit. You’re always working yourself crazy in the mornings.”

“I am not,” you contradict, setting down the broom and taking a seat next to him.

“Every day I wake up and you’re doing something, just relax, will you?”

“That’s because I’ve been awake for hours already, Logan.” You glance at Logan, and you swear you can see a hint of humor in his eyes, but then the sound of Wade’s bedroom door opening makes him roll his eyes. “Be nice,” you whisper.

“Good morning, my loves!” Wade sing-songs as he walks over to the couch, resting his hands on your shoulders from behind. You lean your head back against Wade’s abdomen. Logan’s hand moves to rest on your knee. 

“Hi, Wade.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Be nice,” You repeat, nudging Logan with your elbow. “How’d you sleep, Wade?”

“Oh, great. Dreamt about you all night,” he flirts. 

“Stop flirting with her, asshole,” Logan grumbles, his grip tightening on your knee. 

“Wow, Wolvie, you’re such a party pooper,” Wade says, walking away and towards the kitchen. Logan rolls his eyes, and you can’t help the slight chuckle that escapes you. The way Logan’s mood changes so quickly always gets you.

“What’re you laughing at?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Uh-huh,” he nods, pulling you onto his lap so you’re straddling him. “Come on, tell me,” he murmurs, his eyes locked on yours. This was… new. Logan’s so sweet to you—he always is—but sometimes he does things that really get to you. It’s hard. You know that he probably doesn’t mean anything by what he does, but Christ, he looks like that—and yes, you’ve seen him shirtless—which makes it impossible to ignore the butterflies that take flight in your stomach when he looks at you.

“It’s nothing,” you shrug, a smile on your face. You’d be surprised if your cheeks aren’t colored pink.

“Yeah?” Logan tilts his head, pushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Fucking Christ. 

“Yeah,” you nod.

“You look pretty like this, you know. Sittin’ in my lap, all flustered.”

“Yeah, she does!” Wade calls, his head peeking around the corner to look at you. 

“Shut the fuck up!” Logan demands. “Fuckin’ loser,” he whispers to himself.

“Be nice,” you say, for what’s probably the thousandth time this week. Logan grumbles, but doesn’t reply. He just stares at you, and his gaze softens. “Logan?”

“Hm?”

“Kiss me.”

“What?” he asks, an eyebrow perking up as the other furrows. “Kiss you?”

“Kiss me,” you repeat. He looks over your face quickly, like he’s trying to make sure that’s what you said, but it’s only seconds before his lips are pressed to yours, his hands moving up from your hips to your waist. 

You don’t exactly mean to, but suddenly you’re making out with Logan on the couch, your hips rolling softly, like you need something, and Logan’s not stopping you. You’re losing a sense of reality, the only thing your mind registering being his lips on yours, and then he’s using his hand to pull your hair gently, tilting your head to the side as he kisses down your jaw and onto your neck. 

“Fuck,” you breathe out, your hand squeezing the back of the couch. Your eyes flutter open to see Wade standing in slight shock. That’s a rare look for him, you note. He brings a hand to his crotch, adjusting his pants. 

“I don’t even know what to say right now,” he says, and you’re sure you’ve never seen Wade speechless before. You’re drawn out of that thought by Logan’s teeth on your neck, a growl coming out of his throat. 

“Ah-” you wince, but it’s more out of surprise than anything else. Logan looks up at you to see your gaze on Wade, and it’s like something clicks for him.

“Oh, you like this, don’t you?” he questions. 

“What?” you ask, your gaze snapping to Logan. “What? What do you mean?”

“You like him seeing you like this,” he explains, but it’s like he knows the answer.

“I–” you’re about to deny it, but then you realize that you do, and now you’re just fucking confused. “Maybe.”

“It’s okay, pretty girl, happens to the best of us,” Logan says quietly. He must be able to tell you’re not just flustered, but embarrassed.

“You’re so hot,” Wade interjects, and you can see Logan fighting the urge to roll his eyes. Huh, at least he’s fighting it. 

“For the love of fuck–” he grumbles. “Is this what you want? You want us both, sweetheart?” You stare at Logan for a minute, trying to form thoughts—any thoughts—and then you’re nodding, and Logan’s raised his hand, gesturing Wade closer without even looking at him. “Whatever you want,” Logan says, his lips smashing against yours again. You feel Wade pressing against you, his hands moving your hair to one side so gently, like he doesn’t know what to do with you. His hands trail along your sides and stomach, occasionally traveling over Logan’s, which just makes Logan hold you tighter. It feels like a lifetime and yet no time at all before Wade’s hands dip under your shirt, lifting it as he feels you up. 

You’re whimpering into Logan’s mouth, and it would be humiliating, but the fact that you’re in a threesome is worse, so you don’t even think about it. “Sound so pretty, gorgeous,” Wade whispers, and Logan must still be peeved about this arrangement, because he’s tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth before pulling away. 

“You’re mine, you know that, right?” Logan says, and you nod softly. “Good.” Wade tugs your shirt off, throwing it across the room before bringing a hand to your chest, your head tilting backwards. You catch a glimpse of Logan looking you up and down, and it makes your thighs twitch. 

Wade must’ve noticed your reaction, because he squeezes, saying, “It’s okay, buttercup, we’re gonna take care of you. I know it’s been a while.”

“Has it, princess?” Logan asks, and you’re nodding without even noticing it. This is embarrassing, the effect they’re having on you. “Aw, baby,” he teases. Wade takes his hands off of you, sitting on the couch next to you and Logan. Logan’s—big—hands move to your hips, moving you so you’re sitting on Wade’s lap, your back to his front as his hands replace Logan’s. As Logan stands in front of you, you pull at the hem of his shirt with both hands, before trying to push it up his chest. He chuckles lightly before pulling it over his head. Your hips are being forced up by Wade, as he messily tries to push your leggings off. Logan finishes the job, a hungry look in his eyes. 

“Can I take this off?” Wade mumbles against your neck, toying with the clasp of your bra. As soon as you nod, he’s pushing the straps off your shoulders, tossing it in the same direction (generally) as your shirt. 

“Such a pretty little thing,” Logan mutters, getting on his knees in front of you. What the fuck? His hands find your thighs, spreading them further apart as he looks up at you. “You like this, huh? I can tell.”

Wade’s lips are on your neck like this is all he’s ever wanted out of life, and it makes your head roll back. Fuck, has your neck always been this sensitive? You can’t help the surprised squeak that comes out of you when Logan’s fingers are gliding over your panties, his touch so light. Wade groans against your throat. 

“You hear that, baby? You sound so pretty, you’re making Wade crazy.” You whimper, Logan’s fingers pressing harder against you, and it makes you shift in Wade’s lap, his hands squeezing your hips like he can’t handle you moving. “Can I rip these?” Logan asks, tugging on your panties. “Answer, baby.”

“Yes. Fuck, yeah. Go ahead.”

“Good girl,” he says, taking the small fabric in his hands and tearing it apart.

“That’s hot,” you whisper, almost subconsciously.

Wade’s lips are still against you, kissing up and down your neck and shoulders, one of his hands playing with your hair. ”You like that? You are a good girl.”

“Yeah, you are. Fuckin’ good girl,” Logan practically growls, moving his fingers against you, watching how you squirm. “That’s a pretty girl.”

“Fuck, Logan-“

“You want something, baby?” You whimper in response. Wade’s hand moving to your chest. You’ve never felt anything like this in your life—It’s all just so much. “This what you want?” he asks, slipping two of his fingers inside you.

“Mhm, fuck—That’s so good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” you say, breathy, as Logan starts to kiss up your thighs, his fingers working you in just the right spot. “Baby—“

“Yes?” he asks, almost like he’s annoyed to have to stop kissing you.

“That feels so fucking good.”

“Yeah, well, I’m gonna make you feel much better,” he barely gets out before his mouth is on your clit, his fingers still working inside you.

You whine, Wade sucking on your neck gently. “Wade, baby-“ 

Wade moans against your neck before pulling back. “What, sweetpea?” You grab his hand on your hip, guiding it up to your neck. “Oh. Oh.” Wade lets his hand wrap around your throat. “Didn’t know you were this kinky, sweetheart.”

“Fuck, keep talking, it’s sexy,” I say between moans. It’s like that spurs Logan on, his movements only growing more fervent. “Are you—Oh, my god—Are you trying to be competitive, right now?” I ask, my thighs twitching around his shoulders. 

“Maybe,” he says into your core. His voice sends vibrations up your spine. Maybe that’s dramatic, but who fucking cares?

“You like that, baby?” Wade asks. “That we’re fighting over you?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. You deserve this, you know. To be all loved up on, like this. Sweet, sweet girl. Don’t know what we did to get this lucky.”

“Oh, my God—Please–” 

“Please, what?”

“Yeah, please, what, babygirl?”

“I want your cock.”

“Who’s?” Logan asks, his voice bordering on dangerous. He draws his fingers out of you slowly.

“Either, both, I don’t care.” 

It’s quiet for a second, Logan’s eyes on you, and you can only imagine what Wade’s doing. Logan’s eyes flick to your side, where you imagine that Wade’s face is, and he nods in that direction. “You first,” he says.

Wade stiffens behind you, and he says, “Yeah, okay.”

In an instant, Logan’s pulling you off of his lap gently, asking if you want the bed. You nod, and Logan must notice the nervousness, ‘cause he lifts you into his arms, carrying you to bed. “It’s okay, baby. Don’t gotta be nervous. We’re gonna take care of you, remember?” Logan sets you on your bed gently. When you see Wade, he’s taken his shirt off, and you stare for a second. 

“You’re nervous?” He asks, crawling on top of you. “You shouldn’t be. You look gorgeous. You sound gorgeous, too. You’ve got nothing to worry about. We’re in this for you,” he says, kissing down your body before pulling back to take his boxers off and put on a condom. Logan lays down on the bed next to you, helping you get on top of him. “You ready for me, baby?” Wade asks as he lifts your hips gently. 

“Yeah.”

“Good girl,” Logan encourages, his hands roaming your sides. You feel Wade rubbing his tip against you, and it makes you whimper. Fuck, what have these guys done to you? You don’t even have the chance to think about it, though, because Wade’s pressing into you only a second later, and fuck, it feels good. The noise that Wade makes behind you should be illegal—It’s turning you on far too much. “He feels good, baby?” Logan asks, his hand grabbing your chin, making you look at him. “Come on, answer.”

“Yes! Yeah. He feels so good.”

“Good. I like seeing you like this. So pent up, so pretty,” he says, taking your hair in his hand so it stops getting your face. Seriously? He’s gonna do something so sweet, now?

“Fuck,” Wade groans, drawing out the word. “You feel so fucking good, gorgeous.”

“Wade–”

“That’s me.”

“Don’t stop.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” 

Wade picks up the speed of his thrusts, and it’s like you really can’t form a thought anymore. You don’t even know what Logan’s doing to you, even though you know his hands are on you somewhere. Your moans and whimpers are starting to sound like someone else, almost. Wade’s thrusts are harsh, drawing a sound out of you every single time.

“Wade–Wade, baby–”

“What, babygirl?”

“I’m so close,” you squeak. “So close.” Wade groans at that, his grip on your hips tightening. 

“I’m right behind you, sweets. Don’t hold back.”

You nearly forget that Logan’s there, until he’s kissing your neck and chest. “You heard him. Don’t hold back, princess.”

“I’m right there–Oh, my God—Call me a good girl.”

As if on cue, Logan and Wade talk in unison, “Good girl,” And you never would’ve imagined that could be so sexy. You hear your moans devolve into high-pitched whimpers, and if you didn’t know that you were so close already, that would’ve been a telltale sign. Wade notices too, or he must, because he goes faster—somehow. “There you go.”

“Fuck, fuck, baby—Wade, baby, I’m—” you cut yourself off with a particularly high-pitched moan, feeling the coil in your stomach snap. Wade lets out a moan, and his thrusts grow sloppy, his grip on your hips intense. You struggle to hold yourself up, but Logan’s got you, and when Wade pulls out, he helps you lower into his grasp, wrapping his arms around you as he plays with your hair, whispering into your ear.

“There you go, baby,” he says, shushing you affectionately, “I got you. It’s okay.” You feel the bed shift with the weight of Wade at the edge.

“Holy fuck, sweetcheeks.” Wade’s hand trails gently on your calf. “God. You’re amazing. I’m obsessed with you.” Logan’s hands are tracing patterns on your back, now, as he presses a soft kiss to the side of your head. 

“Wade?” he waits for Wade to hum in response before continuing. “Get outta here.” 

“Yeah, okay,” he says, no objections. When the door shuts behind him, Logan shifts, looking at your face. 

“You okay? That was okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” you say, still catching your breath. You can’t even believe that just happened. 

“Good,” he says. “Good. You sounded like you were having a good time.”

“Don’t tease me.”

“I’m not,” Logan corrects, and you lift your head, meeting his gaze. There’s this look in his eyes, like he’s happy, really—truly—happy. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“All… cute. It’s making me wanna do things to you.”

“Oh.”

“Just ‘oh’,” he teases, a smirk on his face.

“I mean—Uh…” you blink a few times, trying to form a coherent sentence. “I’m… so horny, I’m sorry,” you explain. 

“Oh no, you don’t. You’re not gonna apologize for that,” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You want me to help you with that?”

“Please.”

“Good girl. Got fucked by her friend, and she’s still got manners.” Logan shifts under you, sliding a hand between your legs, toying with you, just a bit. It makes you hum, and you catch Logan start to smirk again. “I love that noise. You make this little squeak, and it’s so fucking cute, princess.”

He uses his hands to tilt your hips slightly before starting to line himself up with your entrance. You don’t even remember him taking off his pants, or have any idea when he put on a condom. “I’m gonna take care of you, yeah? I know we said Wade would, but…” he shrugs. “Trust me, I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

“Uh-huh,” you hum, nodding. He could tell you to do anything, and you would. It’s a brief moment before he’s pressing into you gently, and you feel every fucking inch. 

“Oh, Jesus,” he practically growls, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. When he starts to move, you swear it’s like an out-of-body experience, but that could just be because you’re already nearing your second orgasm in ten minutes. 

“Logan, baby—Oh, fuck.”

“Yeah, princess? Love it when you curse, it makes you sound all tough.”

“Logan!”

“There’s that squeak,” he says, picking up his speed. You move your hips against his. “That’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.”

“Oh, God—”

“What, does that feel good?”

“Yes, fuck, yes!” Logan chuckles softly, but it quickly turns to a groan as you lift your hips before slamming them back down to his. 

“Are you insane?” he growls, holding onto his hips like he’s worried you’ll disappear if he doesn’t. “You can’t just do that—Jesus.”

“Why not? It felt good. I know it did,” you reason as he continues to thrust into you. 

“Felt too good.”

“I wanna do it again,” you say, a dangerous tone in your voice.

“Absolutely not.”

“Please?” you ask, meeting his gaze with the best puppy-eyes you can muster.

“Fuck,” he grumbles. “Okay, sure. Whatever you want, princess.” You lift your hips again, crashing back down onto his with a force that makes you whimper. This is probably harder for you than it is for him, honestly. “Sweetheart–”

You repeat the motion, and it takes the breath out of you. “You feel so good.”

“Baby–” he starts, but he’s cut off as you slam back down onto him. “Are you fucking—Jesus. Baby, you gotta stop that.”

“It feels so good,” you whine.

“I know, but I wanna fuck you, properly.”

Logan’s words make you whimper, and he takes that as an opportunity to roll you over, settling on top of you. He waits for you to nod before pressing into you again, not wasting any time to fall into a torturous pace, thrusting into you like his life depends on it. He uses one of his hands to hold himself up, and lets the other rest on your neck, careful not to apply any real pressure. One of your hands goes up to hold his wrist, and you grab it hard. 

“You need somethin’ princess?”

“Just… don’t stop.”

“I’m not,” he grumbles.

“Logan, baby—”

“I know. I know.” He tilts his hips slightly, hitting an entirely different part of you, and it makes you moan. “Come on, come for me. I know you’re right there.” Logan grunts as he thrusts into you, each one hard, he’s unrelenting, until you’re squeaking out his name, your legs trembling, and your grip on him tightening. And that’s when he knows that he’s got you right where he wants you. “There you go, pretty girl. You’re so good for me. So good,” he says, fucking you through your release. He slows when can tell you’re on the tail-end, and pulls out gently. “There you go,” he whispers, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder. 

“Uh—You didn’t…” you trail off.

“Oh, don’t worry about me.”

“But—”

“Sweetheart, you just came twice—’Cause you were getting fucked by two mutants—So I’m not letting you move a muscle. Don’t worry about me,” Logan insists. You nod, and Logan says he’ll be right back—he pulls on his boxers and leaves the room, coming back quickly to clean you up. He has water, too, which you find so sweet. 

He lays next to you a minute later, pulling you into his side. “You know… I’ve had my eyes on you since we met.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah. Then I found out you were the sweetest thing on this planet, and I felt bad about all the things I wanna do to you,” he says, and you can practically hear the smirk on his voice when he continues to say, “Didn’t know you were into threesomes. Really, I wouldn't have guessed it.”

“I’m not. Not usually, I mean—I don’t know,” you exhale. “You live and you learn, I guess.”

That makes Logan laugh, a real laugh, and you smile at the way his chest moves under you. You’re like this with Logan for some time, chatting while he toys with your hair, wrapping it around his fingers. And you see a new side of Logan, someone more full of life, someone happier. 

“I’m serious, by the way. You’re mine—Or at least, not Wade’s,” Logan says, and it makes you laugh, this time. “That’s funny.”

“No,” you say between chuckles. “It’s not funny,” you giggle.

“That’s what I thought,” he smiles, pinching your side. “Not Wade’s.”

“Definitely not Wade’s.”

[moonkhao]

WE ARE | EP16

[aq2003]

has anyone gotten the idea that odysseus' storyline in hades 2 is a depiction/exploration of trauma over his SA and how he's blaming himself for things that were out of his control? because that's the impression i'm getting from what i've seen. he talks about "goddesses" as his "greatest weakness" and that "he's not one to say no to them"...

when mel invites him to the bath, he brings up mortals having different standards for intimacy than gods and how it usually has a more romantic/sexual connotation. she then asks if he's uncomfortable and he has a startled reaction and brings up circe and calypso again (but never actually by name)

(this isn't ship/romance bait btw. odysseus knew mel as a kid and they're stated in-game to have a sibling/uncle-niece relationship)

also he grew apart from penelope after his return, but the game makes a point of showing that his love for penelope and telemachus is what drove him on at all so that element of his character isn't brought into question

[blackkatdraws2]

I have a lot of leftover drawings in my gallery. [Blank Scripts AU]

[Content Warning: Images below contain Gore, Death, and Disturbing/Uncomfortable Imagery]

I find it a bit cute knowing they start out as crazy and then slowly settle into something calmer and relatively healthier after learning to adapt to each other's lust-turned-love. [Stanley did it first but hey :3]

[moeblob]

So does he, Gallagher.

[nat20composure]

Astarion and Agency- The Necessity of Discomfort to Self Discovery and the Infantilization of Victims

Minor Astarion discourse ahead that mentions the treatment of SA victims post-abuse:

I want to open this post up just with like. The statement that I don't think there is a correct way to enjoy media and that I LOVE to see individual head cannons and takes on characters in media. I think that is also, to a degree, an integral part of video games because of how unique the experience of playing a game will be to every person who plays it. But it has been making me feel so incredibly sad looking through fan content, art, or discourse for BG3 specifically because of how many people have taken the route of infantilizing Astarion.

I understand the instinct to shield or protect an individual that you love and care for. I also understand that because of the nature of the things that Astarion goes through, a lot of people also feel very deep emotional stakes in him. I'm one of the many fans of the character who is a victim of SA and CSA, I really do get it. That is also why for me personally it is so demoralizing to watch so many people treat him like he is a child who cannot make his own decisions or stand up for himself. Part of that frustration stems from it feeling like a media literacy issue, and the other part of that sense of defeat is just because it feels indicative of a broader attitude that people seem to hold towards victims of abuse, particularly those who are victims of SA.

To explain what I mean by people infantilizing him: I see so many people refuse to allow him the opportunity to be hurt, or to feel uncomfortable. They see this character who has been through an immensely horrible and traumatic experience, and their instinct is to try and shield him from anything else that has the potential to upset him. I get that the people who want that aren't doing it with malicious intent, but frankly it is not really...Helpful? To try and prevent victims from Experiencing Discomfort tm. I also think it kind of disregards the entire thesis of Astarion's character and arc.

When you go through something that robs you of your selfhood and agency, the world can become a crushingly terrifying place. In Astarion, that fear presents itself in a desperation for power, control, and at the core of both of these desires- Safety. One thing the game is clear about is that he has a right to kill his abuser. He has a right to escape his situation. A lot of Astarion's personal arc is centered around being able to finally do that. But the game doesn't just leave it off at getting him to safety. So much of it is also about him needing to take responsibility for himself and his actions, with needing to learn who he as a person is.

The inclusion of the Gur children and Sebastian as characters is a good example of ways in which the game gives Astarion the opportunity to take responsibility. I think that if the intention of the arc was meant to be that "Astarion should never ever have to deal with being afraid or uncomfortable again", then the Ascended arc wouldn't Come with such heavy moral ramifications, like sacrificing the other people just like him, killing the victims he lured in, literal child murder. The game infers that he doesn't deserve to die because of the things he Needed to do to survive, but it also makes it very clear that there is a difference between addressing an Active Threat and using your fear as an excuse to hurt others. Breaking that cycle of abuse when he finally gets the chance to is what separates Spawn Astarion from Cazador.

Taking responsibility for himself, and letting himself sit in the discomfort of vulnerability ultimately ends up being a thing that he is very proud of and cherishes. If you tell him you will make sure nothing like that ever again he himself says that he doesn't want you to be his protector. And so it blows my mind when people go into all of these discussions about Astarion with this...Weird moral high ground for never, ever making or letting him make choices that might hurt him?

I see this the most when it comes to discussions about the possible polyamorous relationship with Halsin and the interaction with the drow twins in the brothel. So many people are just...outright angry? At other people engaging with either of those options? And I feel like that anger is one) rooted in the projection of their Own feelings on non-monogamy and what a victim of SA can or cannot look like. and two) Relies on undermining the agency that Astarion BEGS you for at every turn.

When it comes to the drow twins, the game adapts Astarion's response to them based on where he is in his own personal development (a really cool thing imo). Obviously, if he still doesn't feel good or safe about engaging with sex he declines and says you can feel free, though he hopes you aren't just doing it because he hasn't had sex with you. I think this makes sense: He's just gotten out of a situation where his Safety and worth were directly tied to him having sex. I imagine he feels afraid that not wanting to have sex with you makes him replaceable or inadequate because at this point in the game, he feels like that's all he has to offer. The interaction is relatively the same if you ask him for a poly amorous relationship with Halsin: He just asks you to reassure him that you aren't only doing it because he hasn't had sex with you, and then tells you he isn't worried about it otherwise.

A lot of people have taken the expression of that insecurity in combination with him still allowing you to go forward and do these things as him just "sucking it up" because he's afraid of losing you. (I am aware Shadowheart says he wouldn't be able to handle it when you ask her if you can date both of them- But keep in mind, Astarion says she wouldn't be able to either, and THAT obviously isn't true of her. For the purposes of this discussion I'm only including interactions with Astarion as a judgement of his character.) I understand that concern, but I feel this take disregards so many other points of dialogue, and is also continually rooted in the baseline vilification of discomfort.

To further go into it, the way that he speaks about both of these interactions changes significantly if you speak to him about it once he is completely free from Cazador, and has had time to allow himself to start reconnecting with himself and his sexuality on his terms. He has absolutely No reservations about an open or poly relationship with Halsin, and says he trusts that things will be ok because he one) feels secure in Your relationship and two) Knows Halsin is experienced and trusts him to not be a messy bitch about it.

I think that shift, in combination with the in game explanation of why he isn't ok with being in that sort of relationship with the other Origin Characters (for Lae'zel and Wyll, he says they'd never agree to that. For Shadowheart, he says she's not experienced with open relationships and that he doesn't think it'd work out. For Karlach, that it would break her heart. And for Gale, he says you need standards.) is a pretty good indicator that he doesn't actually care about polyamory or monogamy. I think the vilification of that choice relies on you picking and choosing when you do or do not believe Astarion or just outright not liking non-monogamy in the first place. This interaction has more to do with the player's choice and comfort level, and so is not as important to the broader discussion I am trying to have in this post.

The interaction that is more pertinent to not Allowing him to make decisions is, I think, the drow twins. If you interact with the drow twins after the completion of the Cazador questline, he is outright giddy at the prospect of interacting with the Drow twins. Specifically stating that he is excited to see how he likes these sorts of things now that he's free.

NOW- I do NOT think that he enjoys the act. The game makes that abundantly clear, and I'm not arguing that he has a great time. He obviously does not, and dissociates during it. That being said, allowing this interaction to happen does not make a player evil or selfish. You are not playing the hero if you decide to moderate his choices just because you do not think he is ready for it. Once again, no one is evil for Not doing it either, and I am not saying anybody has to want to. I am just saying that treating this choice like it is an evil choice to make relies on completely disregarding what He wants to do.

Astarion says so many times in the game that he is anxious about finally having the freedom to find out what he wants to do, and I think that his excitement for the drow twin exchange is one of the opportunities the game gives him to make a choice. He makes that choice- And it sucks for him. He doesn't enjoy the act, and having done it he would be able to move forward knowing that. I think it's really cool and important that the game represents that facet of recovering as a victim. While you are trying to renavigate who you are, you are going to make a million new choices you never had before. And sometimes those choices are going to suck ass. It would be a different matter if he knew these things would hurt him and went ahead and did them anyway. But so many people expect him to move forward avoiding even the Potential of being hurt, and I think that is extremely reductive of his arc and who he is.

Beyond the matter of interpersonal relationships, the choice between Ascending or not Ascending Astarion is not a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. It is a choice between his fear and his humanity. Between letting his trauma and his fear define him for the rest of his immortal life, and allowing him the vulnerability of deciding who he is when he isn't running from the world. When he's willing to listen to the parts of himself that want to do right, that wants meaningful connection, that wants to be proud of himself. That wants to meet himself. To confront who he is when someone else isn't deciding that for him.

Astarion as a character is extremely ambitious, inquisitive, and adventurous, three traits that only become more and more evident as he breaks free from letting his own fear dictate how he lives his life. I don't understand how so many people can see him and want to take the core of his character away from him, when he spends the entire game fighting desperately to take it back.

Victims are not casts of the abuse they have gone through. Their shapes may be changed by the hands of others, they may have to relearn how to be the person they want to be. But they are not broken or irreparable or fragile. They do not need to be freed from the grip of one person to be held tight in the grip of another. It is so fucking unfair and self-important to think that your hands will be the ones that fix them. That your hands know better than theirs. I think the kindest thing you can do for a person is to trust them with themselves, and to listen when they tell you who they are and what they want. Please listen to the voices that have only just learned to speak. It is the only way they can get better at doing it.

[art-is-kayos]

A Hypothetical.

[socksandbuttons]

OMIGOD Bean au

Does Sun ever need to swaddle Eclipse? Does he lock little bean boy away into burrito jail?

🫣 the crimes are too cute to behold 🫣

Eclipse is the angry burrito who will seeth and stare at Sun to undo this. bro does NOT like being confined. (he'll roll himself up thank you)

[randomalistic]

Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke

(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies