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tottymatsuno · 3 years

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Pink Angel From Hell Chapter 2: The Return

Author: Roro (halfeviltotty)

Fandom: Osomatsu-san

Pairing: Todomatsu x reader

Category: romance, host au, character study

Rating: T ig bc i havent actually written anything nsfw yet

Summary: going back for more

Word count: i gotta take this question out. you'll see when its done.

Warnings: hes mean, ladies. based off of the drama cd. watch it or dont say nothing. its in the first chapter and is required reading.

Commentary: i dont feel like doing a ton so heres another upload. pretend these uploads are my broadcast version and when i fix them in post to upload them on ao3 those are the bluray releases. im so fucking sleepy

"Y/N-chan." Nishimura calls you out when classes are over, and casually confesses his affections for you while the two of you walk together. It's a quick yet not so half hearted affair as you'd like to think.

"Please give me time to answer…" You say already regretting not rejecting him up front. It's not that he's mean or cold or anything wrong with him. In fact there's nothing wrong with him as far as you can tell. You’re just infatuated with Todomatsu as embarrassing as that might be.

Your mind races back to the piece of candy Todomatsu left in your closed palm that night and already aware you've got it bad.

It really sucks and the thought has you sighing and nearly crying all day. Why couldn't he be as cute and flirty as Totty as he likes to be called? Why do you hate conflict so much? Can't you say no to anybody?!

It's already been a few days since you met Todomatsu and you're craving that sugary attention again. Your mind wanders to how his hands might feel, especially when you think about those big brown bedroom eyes he gave you when you fixed your skirt.

The following few days have been filled with thoughts on Todomatsu. You have to see him again, you absolutely know that for fact. But...how pathetic are you to be so infatuated with someone who you have to pay to like you?

Argh!! It's just too confusing!! Why did Todomatsu have to be so dang ole cute?! You think almost angry at yourself. Why couldn't you have met him in normal circumstances?! What school does he go to, what are his hobbies, what do you have in common other than...than WHAT?!

Today.

You need to see him Today. Well actually you've needed to see him since yesterday but you've been stubborn.

The curiosity and urgency causes you to nearly dash to your car. You need to know more about him or you will surely wither away like an old Victorian white woman from the consumption.

It's not a far drive from your school or at least doesn't feel like one when you park your car. You survey your outfit, check your hair and reapply your lipgloss to make sure you look your absolute best as you exit your vehicle.

You enter and instantly feel out of place by yourself. Oh Goooddd, you plead to yourself, what if he isn't here?!

In another flash and a lot of ushering you manage to say you're here for Todomatsu. Which is a surprise to everyone, "Not Karamatsu-kun?" they asked.

Your eyes trailed from the corner of the room along an overjoyed and skipping Todomatsu with the most angelic blush on his delicate cheeks.

He seemed to be cheering up until his eyes met yours. Todomatsu slyly winks at you, before metering his excitable expression. Instead he waves and then all at once with your eyes never leaving his, Todomatsu is in front of you. He slides into the seat next to you gracefully.

"You miss me?" Todomatsu asks syrupy sweet. YES! Of course!!

Instead you awkwardly giggle, finally averting your eyes. "Hah...you could say that…" You mutter.

"I missed you too, Y/N-chan." Todomatsu says sincerely.

"Really? Please don't say that…" You blush, covering up your hot face.

"Ehh, why not Y/N-chan! It's true." Todomatsu cutely protests.

“If you say it like that, I’ll really believe it." Your mind, heart and other assorted parts are all in agreement that you should believe him, even for different reasons. Your mind cynically reminds you that he's being paid to say that.

"It is though," Todomatsu's hand grazes yours as he settles in with the menu. He placed it on the table and gestures for you to pick it up.

“What drink should we start off with?” Todomatsu begins right as your brain commences its tirade of bitterness.

Your eyes scan the menu, you see a reasonably priced drink and… WOW that's a high alcohol content! You ended up pointing out another drink that had less of a percent but was also more expensive.

Todomatsu all but snatches the menu away to point out more expensive drinks. “What about this one, Y/N-chan? It tastes better, and is more suited for a cute girl like you!”

You laugh nervously, you've always been the sort who is up-sold. “This one sounds better to me though, Totty.” You say avoiding the much more expensive drink.

Todomatsu scoffs under his breath which you find rude until he then looks at you dead in the eyes and says, “I'm just glad you're drinking tonight, last time you didn't seem to be enjoying yourself very much with your friends. I want to make you as comfortable as possible, so order what you like!”

His fakeness astounds you, and you find yourself feeling something mixed. On one hand, his words were honeyed and sweet, on the other his little scoff has you feeling some type of way.

He even winks at you. Of course you swoon, of course! That settles the animosity that was growing in your mind, Todomatsu isn't rude after all!

Todomatsu’s charms start out the gate with your heart racing. Soon after ordering your drinks, Todomatsu turns all his attention onto your hair. “Your hair is so gorgeous, you must put a lot of work into maintaining it.”

It's not the first time somebody has complimented your hair, but it's the first time Todomatsu has so it's special.

“Your eyes are also lovely, and you have such a feminine physique. Ahh, I really like you. You're really cute!”

Once he has you hooked in with the flirtation and praise Todomatsu flips a switch and gets down to business. Suddenly you're being bombarded with things on a menu, and it's going too fast to deflect each request he puts on your already thin wallet.

"Why not try the short cake? Also you need another drink to wash it down with, right?" Todomatsu has you feeling obligated to buy everything on the menu. If you do though you'll be in so much debt!

Thinking about the money situation, Todomatsu lays the charms on thick and heavy.

"Ahh, Y/N-chan! You're so cute when you drink. Look at those flushed cheeks, you must really like drinking with me huh? You handle your drinks well, but be careful or you'll become like an old man."

You giggle at this, once again incrementally calming down in Todomatsu’s company.

“I know a secret spell to make you more relaxed than this though, ” Todomatsu suddenly begins after noticing how nervous you still are from his demeanor. “What is it?” You ask humbly almost ready for anything that could make this go even smoother. Please, anything to make him like you! BUT cheaply!!

“Say 'I want champagne!’ and you'll become a princess!” Todomatsu claps his hands at the end of his exclamation, eyes twinkling with expectation.

Your face falls, you scoot a little away from him and you can't hide your discomfort by the words. You know what the champagne command means and you also know you can't afford it. The fact that he's trying to gauge you for every penny you have completely ruins any fantasy you had of his character.

“Um, Totty…” You start off with, not really feeling this or him too much anymore, “Yes, Y/N-chan? The words are, 'I want champagne.’” He urges you again. Todomatsu is waiting almost impatiently for you to say the words.

Just as you were about to end whatever relationship or transaction you were having with Todomatsu, his older brother shows up to your table with a disappointed glower.

“Todomatsu.” Karamatsu starts a more serious voice than you've ever heard from him before. “Your eagerness is making her uncomfortable, you look more like a salesman than a host right now.”

Karamatsu scolds him, and you feel relief that somebody pointed it out. Instead of looking at the situation critically, Todomatsu begins to whine.

“Ehh? Are you serious, Karamatsu-niisan?”

“Look at how uncomfortable she looks.” Karamatsu jerks his head to your direction.

Todomatsu turns to you with those impossibly big doe eyes and asks, “Are you uncomfortable, Y/N-chan? Was I really pushing too hard?”

Taking a page from Chiyo’s book you down the liquid courage before answering. “Um...you were coming off a tinesy bit strong, Totty…”

Todomatsu looks mortified by your small admission, especially when Karamatsu verbally agrees.

“You have a lot to learn still, but the most important thing is be yourself and not to try so hard, Todomatsu.” Karamatsu walks off in a manner even you think is cool even though he's not your type in the least.

“I think Karamatsu-niisan is right. Maybe I should just relax…” Todomatsu slumps in his seat, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“Say, Y/N-chan. Why do all the girls favor Karamatsu-niisan? What's he got that I don't have? I’m way cuter than him, right?”

Todomatsu aggressively whines, taking a swig out of his own drink with his free hand. His cheeks flush and the bitter expression on his face could be from the alcohol or from his own sorry feelings.

When you don't answer right away, Todomatsu sighs. “At least you chose me. Let's start over Y/N-chan.”

“Can I say something before we start over?” You ask in a small voice.

Todomatsu sucks in a breath, clearly readying himself for the worst case scenario. “You don't want to switch to Karamatsu-niisan, do you?”

“No thanks.” At your words Todomatsu sighs in relief. “What is it then?” Todomatsu tilts his head so suddenly he's invading your personal space in a much broader way. If you bent your head down just slightly the two of your lips would touch.

“I-I…!” You instantly turn away from him, unable to face the music and tell him how you feel. COWARD!! You mentally scold yourself, is there anyone out there a bigger chicken than you?!

“Ne, talk to me...what'd you want to say?”

You steel yourself for the admission you're about to make.

“I like you, Totty. I think you're the cute one. I don't know why you aren't more popular, but I’ll always support you. I just don't like being upsold like this, I want to have a good time with you...but not have to go into debt to do it. Do you understand? I want you to like me too."

Even if only in a financial context you inwardly sigh.

Only because he looks so damn cute right now! Anyone else you would've left high and dry and never returned, but Todomatsu has a clutch on your heart like none other. How did that even happen?

“Really?” Todomatsu asks in the most open and vulnerable voice you've heard from him yet.

“Of course.” You say with a deep conviction. To simply put it, because you like him. There's an attraction towards Todomatsu you've only felt towards 2D characters.

Todomatsu's pretty kitty mouth slips into a sweet grin. He moves even closer into your personal space, and whispers almost kindly in your ears, “You really are cute, Y/N-chan. I think I just might fall for you. “ His lips do graze your ear lightly, you try your hardest not to verbally acknowledge the feelings this stirs in you.

“Wh-why don't we drink something!”

“Okay!” Todomatsu cheers, moving away from your tingling ear.

After removing himself from your bubble, you only manage to get three more drinks in before your low tolerance gets the better of you.

Your scheduled amount of time is up, you're drunk and not only that; Todomatsu was just called to help his twin with a returning party. Since you didn't spend a competing amount to keep Todomatsu in your company bye-bye he goes!

Todomatsu hics and giggles loudly as you try to stumble out of the seat to finally leave.

You call Chiyo to pick you up since even though she's quiet, she's a good driver. Plus she only lived two train stops away.

When Chiyo comes to get you, inevitably gush about Todomatsu until she tells you, “Watch out for him. He's a snake, and pay attention to how he acts when you have no money.”

This causes you to quiet down and drunkenly reflect on her warning.

In that moment you decide to disregard it, because as Karamatsu said the first time you all met, “The gears of fate are turning in our love's favor.” You know this will work out!

#osomatsu san #ososan #totty #matsuno todomatsu/reader #todomatsu x reader #todomatsu x si #roros fics #multichapter ososan fic #pink angel fic #pink angel fic ch2

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brokenmusicboxwolfe · 3 years

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Well, today I managed (with troubles I won’t bore you with) to find an extension cord out in the shop to replace one that burned out along the chain of them needed to reach down the driveway. I needed new lights for the tree down there, but obviously I can’t afford them this year so I sacrificed some of the ones for the indoor tree. Then I had to hack vegetation the highway folks let grow up that would block the view. But the point is I FINALLY have some lights on the tree out front. Unfortunately I couldn’t exactly celebrate. I realized I’d misspelled names on some of the Christmas cards I sent yesterday, which could be a particular problem with one person that is super sensitive about their name.** When I stopped for the evening I discovered that the shower thing I’ve been using has decided to stop charging completely, probably meaning no showers until January when I can afford to buy a new one. And my bluray player has decided to have a breakdown, which I won’t be able to afford to replace even if it goes from annoying to unusable. And my favorite kitten looks like it might be getting sick. Every dang day there is something, or lots of somethings. I am damned worn out it’s ridiculous. I’m exhausted all the time, yet can’t sleep. Or do sleep and have Lovecraftian nightmares before waking up feeling awful, and then can’t get back to sleep. So great, I have a spindly tree lit up with a couple stings of lights, but it’s not like I’ll see much of it since I rarely wander about at night and you can’t see it from the house. I went to all that bother to cheer myself up. Do I feel cheerful? Nope.

**Honestly, I don’t get that. As long as someone means well and is trying, then why get offended? Maybe it’s because, odd as it sounds, I grew up with my name being misspelled all the time, and I don’t mean “Wolfe”. In fact, one of my uncles had a wife that struggled with “Stephanie” for thirty years or so!

#my day #christmas #christmas lights #tired #exhausted

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white-cat-of-doom · 4 years

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It is time again for that magic part of the day where I show you more of my Cats merchandise and related items collection.

Today, two promotional books for Cats (2019), one from the UK and one from Japan.

The UK promotional book is only eight pages sadly (the two cover pages included), and basically includes brief profiles of the major (poster) names playing the main characters, and a bit of background on the musical. The last two pages have some drawings of what the designers what the movie to look like. It is fun (half of the second page is taken up by Naoimh Morgan as Rumpleteazer, and I am not complaining!).

The Japanese promotion book is much longer, about forty or fifty pages, and is very much like the press kit I posted before. As it is almost entirely in Japanese, I cannot tell you everything that it has, but my best guess is that it is the press kit for the movie in Japan! It includes information about the musical, many more cast profiles, song listings and profiles, and profiles of the technical people involved in creating the film. It like much more than the UK one, and it was substantially less money (like a third or the price or less!). It also came with some of the Chirashi posters I showed yesterday (I own three copies of one of the versions now). It has many more pictures, and also includes information on the cast who overdubed the vocals. A great addition alongside the special, first edition of the Japanese BluRay I bought from Japan with the promo postcards.

Sadly, neither promotional books mention Naoimh Morgan (Rumpleteazer), Daniela Norman (Demeter), Zizi Strallen (Tantomile), or Freya Rowley (Jellylorum) in any capacity, and mirror what is found in the press kit in terms of exclusions. We need more credit for these women! It is all well and good to mention Danny Collins (Mungojerrie), Jaïh Betote (Coricopat), and Jonadette Caprio (Syllabub), but what would it take to write one more page for other cast members? What would it taken to have a credit for the female other half of Coricopat (Tantomile) and Mungojerrie (Rumpleteazer)? I do not get it.

I wonder if they made promotional books for other countries? If I see them, I will buy them.

#cats the musical #cats musical #cats 2019 #cats movie #cats the movie #cats movie 2019 #cats 2019 promotional books #merchandiscial cats

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littlewalken · 4 years

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Feb 15

So yesterday gets added to the days I take Repressitall for like Halloween 2019. Nothing like another day that probably could use some counseling but will have to go to the end of the line because there’s shit fromt he 80s that still hasn’t been dealt with. But ain’t that just how life is?

I’m glad I found that channel with the Bill and Ted commentaries because all I was able to snag was a $5 bare bones of the first two movies. The store had the Bluray of all 3 but aside from my player not being hooked up that often my anxiety is weary of the third movie. I’m sure the guys had fun and stuff but...

Enough of you out there know what I mean when I say my anxiety isn’t sure about these nostalgia bait sequels.

Bill and Ted are Baby idiots to me. They aren’t meant to have adult responsibilities. The Bill is trans theory can fit into that.

Grease 2 was on yesterday and it got me thru. I have several stories inspired by that, I have a bunch of theories about that, it’s always there.

So is a tension headache, This time it is on me because I was untangling about an inch of kumihimo because I didn’t like how the pattern was coming out. Knowing how to undo what ever string project you’re doing is part of the skill set.

Got to give the tiny heddle I ordered a couple of weeks to get here. It’s one of those 4 inch ones and was like $20 so I don’t feel that bad ordering it. And if it turns out I do kind of like band weaving and shit then I’ll look into one of those Inkle looms. But if it’s just an occasional thing a tiny rigid heddle won’t take up room in the thread box.

I still have a bunch of Lizbeth size 20 thread, and the desire to make up a couple of crochet Barbie dolls and clothes out of it, but if I don’t opening it up to being used for weaving bands is always something.

My anxiety and related shit doesn’t even want to watch the news, weather would be nice, or anything that could possibly add to it.

There are three algae eaters in the fish tank and the only one on the glass, which needs it, is the itty bitty sucker fish. The glass shrimp is bigger than itty bitty sucker but it’s certainly hungry and has a fat tummy.

Pumpkin Head (all orange head), the presumed female at purchase boy guppy, is discovering the other two in the tank are female. Thinking PH was a girl and the ones he came with died we got other girls. Should have known because PH was the only iridescent one in the batch but there you go. The shrimp is neat and we want to get more.

And not to balance the want to keep a clear mind and the necessity of taking a Pain Away.

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er-fan · 4 years

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S1E1 - 24 Hours

Hello world! I’m going to keep up this blog about watching the tv show ER. I’m not very good at writing, so please keep your expectations low. This is mainly a document for my first impressions.

To give some backstory, I grew up in the 90s when pop culture seemed a lot smaller and more accessible. TV shows like ER were an event. It isn’t like now when we have so much to watch and people are watching youtube to the point where they don’t even buy TVs. (I’m guilty of that. I know at some point I do want to buy one and a bluray player.) I watched a few episodes here and there throughout the 90s. I was never a regular viewer. We had one family tv and others usually had access to it. I watched tv shows as reruns or in syndication on other channels.

A few weeks ago, I started thinking about the big tv shows from my childhood/teenager years. ER popped into my head. I wanted to know what happened with George Clooney’s storyline. I wanted to see Lucy again. So, I was very glad to see that all the episodes are available on Hulu. Since the episodes are forty-five minutes or more I’ll be watching one per day most of the time.

Yesterday on 6 August 2020, I watched the ninety minute premiere of ER called 24 Hours.

Premiered: 19 September 1994

Synopsis: The viewers meet the main characters: Dr. Greene, played by Anthony Edwards, who is chief resident of the ER; Dr. Ross, played by George Clooney, who is a pediatrician; Dr. Lewis, played by Sherry Stringfield, who is a resident; John Carter, played by Noah Wyle, who is a medical student; and Dr. Benton, played by Eric La Salle, who is a surgical resident.

What stuck out to me throughout this episode is how exhausted these doctors and students have to be. You are awake for long hours, encountering who knows what with your next patient. You barely have a minute to unwind and those darn nurses just keep taking your coffee and never making more for you.

Dr. Greene’s dilemma throughout the first episode is whether or not he should take a well paying job at a private hospital. He would be able to spend time with his family. I suspect that this issue will keep popping up throughout the season.

Dr. Ross is first seen coming into the ER drunk on his night off. This is apparently what he likes to do in his free time.

Dr. Lewis seems like a competent resident. We know that she has relationship issues and may be getting back together with her boyfriend. She seems very competent and confident when dealing with her patients.

Dr. Benton takes the lead in a situation where a patient would otherwise have died. He goes above his duties as a resident and it is appreciated by the surgeons.

John Carter is first being taught by Dr. Benton and he seems very nervous about helping the patients, but you start to see him grow a little more confident by the end of the episode.

The secondary character of Nurse Carol, played by Julianna Marguiiles will become more prominent in the show from what I can remember, but right now she doesn’t have much screen time. Towards the end of the episode she leaves the hospital, only to come back in an ambulance having overdosed on medication in an attempted suicide. Whether she lives or dies isn’t resolved in this episode.

Attempted suicide wasn’t the only serious topic addressed during this episode. There was also an instance of child abuse that Dr. Ross handled. A crying baby with burn marks and a skull fracture is brought to the ER by his babysitter. We see that it is the mother who is doing this to her child.

I felt terrible hearing that baby cry knowing that many real live babies/children are abused by their parents. I’m glad it was addressed on the show.

Even though this episode was very long, I felt very engaged with it. The characters seemed like real people. I’m looking forward to seeing how Dr. Greene can stay in the ER without hurting his wife who needs more time with him, if Dr. Ross has feelings for Nurse Carol, and when Nurse Carol gets better.

Also, there was a member of staff complaining a sore throat and he kept being ignored. I wonder if that will pop up again with him having something serious. I wish I could recall his name.

Also, I wish I could recall what Dr. Benton said about how the residents only make $23,000.00 before taxes. This was set in the 90s, but I wonder what surgical residents make today.

#er #er tv show #er 90s #season one #child abuse #suicide #90s #tv show #george clooney #juliana marguilies #anthony edwards #noah wyle #eric la salle

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actuallylorelaigilmore · 5 years

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200 MOVIES IN 2020, #12

birds of prey (and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn). because yesterday i fiiiiiiiinally saw this movie and i loved it more than i even thought was possible.

this review is gonna be longer than usual, because @actuallylukedanes reads my reviews and there are specific details I’m including just for them. so the rest is going behind a cut. :)

i don’t even know where to start, to be honest, so let’s begin with the simplest part. THE! SOUNDTRACK! it is all over the place and yet manages to form a coherent vibe. it’s fun and sultry and epic and angry and i’ve already added it to my spotify.

one of my absolute favorite music highlights?? a fight scene to barracuda by heart. they gave me what i didn’t even know i needed in my life. amazing.

the first thing that absolutely stunned me about this movie was the fight scenes. the stuntwork is incredible. i don’t even like action movies or most fight scenes and i loved these. the choreography is graceful and interesting and artistic and fun to watch, i enjoyed it so much–it’s like the people making this movie thought specifically about what they could do because they were featuring a cast of badass female characters and played to that, maximizing the potential of it. talented stuntwomen expanded the range of what i’m used to seeing in action movies, and now i’m questioning everything. maybe i don’t actually hate fight scenes and find them tedious. maybe i just haven’t seen very many good fight scenes! because i legitimately can’t wait to watch these all over again. this is officially my favorite action movie when i doubt i’ve ever had one before.

the gay energy in this movie is huge. everyone is gay here! the heroes! the villains! the big bad’s wardrobe is gorgeously flashy and his henchman is devoted to him in a way that is far beyond the professional. renee is literally gay, but the rest of the women are also just all different kinds of gifts to the queer community, i swear. i can’t coherently put my finger on why (the motorcycle and crossbow? the roller derby? the hostile nightclub singing?), but it’s there.

i heard a lot about how different the costuming/framing was for harley in this movie because of the female director, how it lacked the male gaze we’re used to, but i was still surprised to see the difference everywhere. at one point inside a building harley sets off sprinklers–but even when she walks through them, gets soaked and has to fight under them, it’s so not pornographic. watching that, i had an intense lightbulb moment of ‘oh so this is what that could be like’ and fell in love with cathy yan.

they also made such cool creative choices, like harley pulling out a gun at one point and then firing glitter and colors instead of bullets. it fits her character, it’s unexpected, and it’s just more fun.

there are time jumps and flashbacks in the movie, it moves around quite a bit in the beginning as it’s establishing who everyone is. BUT it explains the jumps through both the narration and through actual time stamps onscreen, so it’s way more understandable.

harley is a real antihero--unbalanced, not the best person ever--but in her own weird way, the true loves of her life appear to be food and her beloved adopted pet. which is very relatable.

and you know what else i loved? the women genuinely praising each other for their skills. little comments in random moments where they appreciate each other. because that’s what we deserve, gosh darn it. more women supporting and liking each other even when they don’t know each other well.

speaking of the women, this girl gang may center harley quinn, but it’s made up of three women of color and two white women, and it doesn’t shove the women of color into the background or put less effort into them. all the women are complex, more than one thing, even contradictory. they get to be human. it’s awesome.

and in contrast to that, in this movie, men really ARE the evil! the villain is a white guy, his second in command is a white guy, and the big battle is literally these five women up against an army of terrible men. just men. the fact that we get to root for them and watch them kick ass under those conditions is really cool. (and as far as i could tell, it’s true for the rest of the movie too--in close combat, the women only fight men. everywhere that they meet bad guys, they’re, well, guys.)

did i mention the roller derby?? it’s not the point of the movie or anything, but i loved that they included it and worked it into action scenes sometimes.

two more refreshing things: the villain isn’t treated with mixed signals. it’s always clear that the movie sees him as the bad guy, and he doesn’t get hints of ‘oh but also the actor’s cute so we’re going to give him extra attention.’ it doesn’t even matter that he’s played by the effortlessly charismatic ewan mcgregor…he was a horribly evil person with no respect for women, and as soon as he’s defeated everyone moves on with their day. i’m still not used to how they did that. the world just literally moves on like he didn’t matter, which is the ultimately fitting payback for how full of himself he was.

and, it doesn’t do that thing where if the hero is a woman, she can only win the final battle after first being broken down nearly beyond repair. bleeding, sobbing, prone on the ground so she can rise up slowly and prove the villain wrong... instead the stars of this movie are allowed to be fully fierce, without needing to also show weakness so they won’t be ‘too much.’ they hold their own, almost all the time, just like you expect from action movies with unrealistically badass men.

when it comes to downsides, the violence and death to me didn’t seem much more gruesome than what you’d see in other comic book movies or a crime procedural. it’s rated r i guess, but since i watched both the deadpools, this one just didn’t seem very shocking. i’m not sure how good a gauge i am for that. there’s one throwing up moment, which i still hate, but it happens early and is thankfully very brief. the two most uncomfortable moments that move toward a sexual assault place are also not as extreme as I worried they would be.

it is definitely zany. it decides exactly how to represent the fantabulous madness of harley quinn and i’m sure that’s not everybody’s idea of fun, but i didn’t think it was stupid-funny or gross. my only complaint is that i can’t own it on bluray yet.

#birds of prey #200 movies in 2020 #this really did turn into an essay #but i have so many feelings about this movie #i couldn't move on to a new movie today even though i had the time because i'm not ready to leave the birds of prey world #it's still in my head #anyway i'm very glad i saw it 11/10 #harley quinn #feminism

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aqours-remade-again · 5 years

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@idolgamefemme replied to your post “i know i just said this yesterday but my general rule, especially in...”

I do this too but with horrible-subs HQ files :p

i mostly torrent for things that don’t have physical releases or i need to icon (its really hard to open up blurays in a lot of players, and a lot of them have anti screenshot and recording built-in :/// i’m actually trying to look up how i can icon my blurays so i have the best quality possible for my iconing and i don’t have to like, keep stuff like code geass torrented when i already own the series) tbh! i have like 200+ gb of stuff downloaded in videos, but if i can just figure out how to icon my blurays i might be able to free some of it up...

mostly even though ofc torrents you get to keep forever and i know how to safely torrent, i always feel like there’s the risk of your computer crashing and losing them forever or files getting corrupted that makes me prefer relying on physical copies

#idolgamefemme

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lovemesomesurveys · 6 years

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When was the last time you kissed someone? Not since... 2014. Any recent purchases? I bought Starbucks yesterday for my bro and I. Have you ever thought about giving up on life completely? Yes. I kind of did these past few years, and it’s led to some of the health stuff I’m dealing with now. Have you seen the entire Harry Potter series? Yeah. Do you still have both of your parents? I do. <3

Favorite candy bar? White chocolate. Do you like being sensually bitten? Sure. ;) If you wear eyeliner, what color do you use? Black. Have you ever ridden a train before? Nope. Where did your last hug take place? Here at home. Have you ever fallen in love? Yes, twice. Do you live very far away from Kansas? Yes. Do you enjoy cuddling? Sure. Do you play video games? I haven’t in a long time. Well, I do play games on my phone if that counts. If so, which one is your favorite? Like a gaming console, Mario Bros is the OG. On my phone, I like to play these murder myster/hidden object games. How many colors are in your hair right now? My natural color and the red I’ve been dying it. My roots have overgrown a lot. :| Do you have your full license yet? No. When was the last time you felt nervous about something? Now. Always. Do you ever make mixed CD’s for anyone? I used to do that all the time for my mom. Now we just use Spotify. Is it windy outside? Yeah. Do you have a pair of TOMS shoes? No. Do you prefer black & white or colored photos? I like both, just depends. Are you into gory movies? No usually. When was the last time you went to the dentist? :X Have you ever been locked in a room forcefully without anyone knowing? No. Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? Yes. Does your significant other boss you around a lot? No significant other. Have you ever been drunk? A few times. If so, do you get drunk regularly? I don’t drink anymore. Do you prefer winter or summer? Winter, hands down. No competition. Do you consider yourself a loner or a social butterfly? “I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.” Do you know anyone who has overdosed? No. Are you a fan of PDA (public displays of affection)? I don’t mind some kisses, hand holding, cuddling, but not like full on make out sessions or anything sexual. Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Yes, a few times. Do you ever make Youtube videos? I have. What is one feature that you’re self-conscious about? My body. Where are your siblings as of now? My younger brother is at school. I’m not sure where my older brother is right now. Would you say you’re a more serious or sarcastic person? I can be both. What is your favorite online smiley face to you? (:, :X, :|, -____- What is something that freaks you out no matter what? Anything regarding blood. Do you have any fetishes? No. What color shirt are you wearing as of now? I’m wearing a black Adidas sweatshirt. Are the lights in your room more dim or bright? Dim. What is your favorite class? I’m. Done. With. School. Do you have any big regrets as of now? I have many. :/ Are you in love with someone right now? No. Can you speak any other languages than the one you’re fluent in? Not fluently, just very little Spanish. Do you take a lot of photos? No. Do you give away your phone number a lot? Nope. When was the last time you took medicine? This morning, around 9. It’s 12:20PM now. Do you have big ears? No. When you were little, did you think band-aids healed everything? *shrug* Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Nope. Do you get along more with your mother or father? I get along with both my parents, but I’m closer to my mom. Do you have freckles? Yes. If so, do you enjoy them or hate them? I’m fine with them. Where do you download music from? I don’t download music anymore. I use Spotify. Write something you’d like to say to someone right now: Nah. Do you have a laptop, desktop or both? Laptop. Have you ever met an online friend in real life? Nope. If you have a job, do you work with any of your friends? Do you like that job? Who was the last person to call you? My mom. What does the sky look like right now? Gray and cloudy. When did you last look in a mirror? Earlier. Did you like what you saw or were you dissatisfied? I don’t like what I see, which is why I don’t spend much time looking in the mirror and avoid it as much as possible. Have you ever cheated on someone before? No. What are the first three digits of your phone number? Nah. What would you say is your favorite color, out of them all? I love pastels. Have you ever attempted suicide? No. What are you most known for? I don’t know. Do you ever steal the ink pens from businesses? No. What was the last movie you bought for yourself to watch? I have no idea. If you have any animals, do any of them live in the house with you? Yes, she’s an inside dog. Would you rather have curly or straight hair? Straight. Do you have a problem with body hair? Not really. Where is your best friend at the moment? She’s helping the lady she’s a caregiver for. Is she/he there for you when you need them the most? Yes. Have you ever been so depressed, you were put on medication? Yes. I stopped taking it last year, though. I just... it wasn’t doing anything and I didn’t like taking it. I never went back to see about maybe trying something else. Who did you last go and visit in the hospital? A friend a couple years ago. What is one thing you think is gross about the human body? Bodily fluids, bowel movements, farts... Do you have a BluRay player? Technically, since the PS4 can play them. Have you ever witnessed someone being murdered? No! What was the reason for the last time you cried? Blah. At what age do you plan to get married? I don’t plan on getting married. Do you have any candles in your room? Yes. Have you ever met someone who was obsessed with fire? No. Do you have any posters on your walls? Yes. Ever make a friendship bracelet for someone? Yes. Do you ever listen to mainstream music? Yep. Would you say you have extreme morals? What would be “extreme”? Do you know what 'irony’ means? Yes. What have you been made fun of for the most? Uhh. Do you actually enjoy dancing? No. When did you last get a papercut? I don’t recall. Do you watch any television shows from other countries? I have. Do you tell the truth for the most part? Yes. What time did you fall asleep last night? Ugh, last night was absolutely horrible. Have you ever been in a physical fight? No. Who is your most favorite television/movie villain? Hmm. Have you ever been stabbed by something? Yeah. Do you ever cry for no reason whatsoever? It feels that way sometimes, but generally there’s a reason. How many pillows do you normally sleep with? I have a few on my bed, but I only use like 2. Do you lose your remote often? No.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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microsoftedgy69 · 6 years

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Day 3

// sorry this is like 1.7k and ends with a tearjerker. but yay, it’s over! happy new year everyone

Dirk really does look ridiculous in your winter gear. It’s too big on him -- not dramatically, but just enough to be noticeable, especially the dark red padded jacket. He’s quiet, but so are you, watching the sun go down behind the mountains. It’s painting the snow a soft orange, making it look warmer than it actually is. There are no tracks here, no skiers, just you and him and the trees.

You were hesitant about it, bringing him here. It’s pretty, and new to him, and you didn’t want to rub it in. You didn’t want to rub in what you have more than your general living situation already did on its own. Dirk has been missing out on some really good stuff, and he will go back to missing out on it soon, and you didn’t want to make it even harder on him.

But you asked, carefully, if he wanted to go out with you, and he said yes. It’s been quiet, between you, ever since yesterday. A good kind of quiet, where there is a mutual sort of understanding between you, knowing that neither of you wants conflict. You’ve talked about some important things in the past days, and you’re glad it’s out, but the prospect of him disappearing soon has you mulling things over again. You don’t feel quite as tired as you have been -- all of this is still incredibly exhausting, but now that it’s ending soon and you actually have an outlook towards a nice, calm, and Dirk-less New Year’s eve, you at least feel like you’re functioning again.

“The air out here is real nice,” Dirk says. You nod.

“I know.”

“What do you mean you know?” Dirk’s scoff sounds amused, and that’s a vast improvement. “You don’t breathe.”

“I can still sense what the air is like, you shithead,” you say, perfectly calm. Yeah. This is working out nice.

“Fine,” Dirk says.

You look up at the orange sky and say, “I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

“I used to apologize a lot, for everything,” you tell the sky. “I spent the past year trying to work through that. Only apologize for things that are actually my fault, only feel bad for things I actually had control over. So I’m not sorry for defending myself when my life was on the line. I’m not sorry for what I did.”

Dirk lowers his head, then raises it again, a slow nod, a Go on.

“But I do feel sorry for what went down,” you say. “The whole of it. I’m sorry you died. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I already told you that, but I mean it. It was an accident, and I’m sorry it happened. If I could have just knocked you out, I would have done that. If I could have stopped Crocker’s attack in time, I would have done that. But I couldn’t, and I’m sorry for that.”

“You did what you had t--” Dirk starts saying, and it puts a rush of something good through you, but you don’t let him finish.

You say, “I’m not done. I’m sorry you died. We were kids, and you went way too early. I’m sorry you never got to leave the stupid old apartment, not in the way you wanted, and I’m sorry you never got to meet Dave and Rose. I’m sorry dream bubbles suck. None of this is my fault, but I need you to know that I’m still sorry. In the-- in the way that people say they’re sorry for your loss. I’m sorry for everything that was taken from you, because you didn’t deserve that. You should have had it so much better, and I’m sorry that I did, and you didn’t.”

The air is cool on your skin. You gave Dirk your snow pants, so your jeans are cold and soaking now, but it’s fine. It’s good. You can feel your own body, and you need that.

Dirk stays quiet for several seconds, like he’s waiting for you to say something else, like you did just now. You don’t. Your steps crunch in the snow, and you listen to Dirk breathe in and out deeply.

“You were right,” he says. You have half a mind to throw him a comically shocked look, but maybe it’s not the time for theatrics. “About what you said, the day before yesterday, in your living room. I would have done the same in your situation, and we know, because you’re me. You were right about that. I can’t…” When you look at him, he squints his eyes against the sun, face twisting like he has to force the words out of himself. You relate. It’s alright. “I can’t hold this against you. I tried to. I wanted to. Fuck, Alan, I fucking died, and I just want someone to blame. But it’s not you.”

He ducks his head down, to study the snow. You look away again, and watch a bird flutter out of a tree nearby.

“All we ever did in that apartment,” Dirk says, “was try to survive. You did that. I would’ve done the same thing. It’s okay.”

You have no lungs, so you don’t breathe, but you feel like exhaling, so you pull some air in through your nose and push it back out through your mouth. “Air’s good,” you say quietly. Dirk snorts.

He says, “I’m gonna go ahead and blame Fishsticks instead, if that’s alright with you.”

“Oh, yeah,” you say. “You can blame her. Blame her real hard. Knock yourself out, chief.”

“Sucks that Dave just gave up,” Dirk says. His voice is mostly level, but you’ve been him long enough to detect the slight waver. “I mean I get being depressed out of your mind, but man, giving her hell is kinda important, isn’t it? And now nobody’s doing that anymore. She’s just out there.”

You can feel him look at you, and you understand what he’s saying immediately. You don’t return the gaze. You look at the sky and think about how worried some people in your life got when you only did the bare minimum to help someone in another timeline piss off their Condesce. Then you think about how you went and did it anyway, and how right it felt.

“Yeah,” you say, dragging out the syllable. “Guess somebody should do somethin’ about that.”

“RoLal would probably be on board,” Dirk says. You smile, and say nothing. Maybe he talked to her about it, but you still don’t exactly want to know. It’s been a tough pill to swallow, the way he went and reconnected with his friends, the way the rapbots jammed with him. You don’t want to imagine the sort of conversation he and Roxy had, when everytime you and her talk it still feels sad and stiff from beginning to end. You don’t want to put yourself through this right now. You already know it’ll haunt you enough in the coming days.

Next to you, Dirk pulls his phone out of his pocket (ghost phone, you think) and checks the display before pushing it back in.

“‘s almost time,” he says.

You hum. In a way, you’re glad that he’s just going to stop existing with no warning. That means you won’t do any awkward goodbye hugs and waving and walking away. You’re bad at saying goodbye to people. You’ve learned that about yourself.

Still stomping through the snow, you pass the tree you saw the bird fly out of earlier. You reach into an inside pocket of your jacket, and pull out a pair of Kamina shades. Just last month, you threw a pair of those into the ocean for him, saying that they’ll find him. This is a little less poetic, but you guess it still works.

“Here,” you say, and hold them out to him. “I have no idea if this is gonna work and they’ll go back into the afterlife with you, but I figured it’d be worth a shot.”

He looks at you, then at them, before taking them into his hands and immediately shoving them onto his face, like he was somehow starving for them. You do him the favor of not laughing at him, but you do smile a little when he makes a satisfied noise.

“They’re not computerized,” you say. “But you know how to do that yourself if you ever wanna.”

“Yeah,” Dirk says. He turns his head, and you look back at him this time. It’s easier, with the shades, even if a bit trippy, for you, who used to be them. Then again, you used to be him, too. “Thanks.”

“Sure,” you say.

You walk in silence for a few more steps. Then, with a strange pop, the air to your left fills up the hole Dirk leaves when he disappears. You continue walking.

You return to your boat twenty minutes later. You peel yourself out of your cold wet jeans, and hang them up to dry. You put on a new pair, and stand in front of your closet. You say, out loud, “Motherfucker stole my goddamn snow gear.”

It’s funny, so you try to laugh. You don’t. You go into the living room, and sit down on the floor. Turing pads out of the bedroom and bumps his head into your knee, and you reach out to pet him, but your chest makes a loud noise like a CD drive trying to play a BluRay, and he flinches back.

You drop your hand on your lap, and you close your eyes. The place is dead silent. One more time, the absence of Dirk in your household leaves a gap so glaring it seems almost palpable.

Your chest makes that noise again, and this time, it hurts. You open Discord, and message Alma. You text him, “He’s gone,” and then you add, “Please.”

You put your head in your hands, and you wait for Alma and Palooka to get here. Alma promised hugs. You feel small, and alone, and five years old. And you need them.

#posted ooc #M!A: the walking dead #mentioned:#mindparkour #jakepalooka

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write-havoc · 6 years

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This Is How I Disappear Ch. 6

Summary: A girl named Chuck finds herself in the exact place she doesn't want to be, living with violent men in a desolate nursing home. After her former gym teacher finds her, will he be the savior she was looking for?

Fandom: The Walking Dead AU

Pairing: Negan/Original Female Character

Status: Completed (story continues in The Flame Is Gone, The Fire Remains)

Contains: swearing, violence, sexual assault, blood, smut

Readers 18+ of age only

Masterlists in my bio

The next couple of weeks go by quickly for Chuck, with her seemingly finding her groove at The Sanctuary. She makes sure not to skip her meals, per Negan's request. And even manages to strike up a few conversations with people in the cafeteria as she eats her breakfasts. Not that she made any real friends or anything, but she’s trying to be more sociable. Sometimes Simon would stop by to eat with her, too. And he is becoming a true friend. True to Negan's word, Carson makes sure she eats her lunch during her breaks, having a very awkward conversation afterward the first day about how unhealthy not eating enough is.

Chuck always has a few hours to herself after her shift before Negan retrieves her for dinner each day. She would usually take a shower and lounge in her room, writing in her diary, playing her guitar, and reading books. Sometimes, Chuck would go to Negan's floor early on her own to visit the wives. They like for her to play the piano for them and always seem so excited to see her. Chuck grows friendly with the women, over time. She discovers that the women have a lot to offer. They aren’t just the living sex dolls that people would talk about on the floors below.

Every night, Chuck and Negan would eat dinner together, sometimes he would cook, sometimes she would (with much help from Negan), other times they get food from the kitchen. Afterward, they would play chess and then go to bed. Chuck has platonically slept in Negan's bed every night, keeping her nightmares at bay.

Chuck begins to get fully comfortable with Negan, considering him to be her best friend. He never pushes her to talk about what she went through, but he always listens when she talks about it. With Negan’s help, she comes to terms with what happened to her. She’s by no means completely over it, but she feels much better. Especially knowing that Negan is there to support her.

Chuck saves up enough points to get a small tv and bluray player for her room. She practically squeals in excitement in the middle of the marketplace when she finds a box set of her favorite tv show. While Negan is away on a run for a few days, Chuck pretty much spends all night watching it. With Negan gone, Chuck knows that her nightmares will come back without him there, so she delays sleep as much as she can. The nightmares don’t affect her quite as much as they once did, but they still disturb her sleep.

She is fast asleep in her own bed, having finished season four an hour earlier, when a sliver of light hits her face, waking her instantly. Her door is opened and a man’s silhouette stands tall in the doorway. She is paralyzed for a moment before calling out to the intruder.

“Who is it?!”

“It's just me, sweetheart.” Negan's familiar voice calms Chuck's nerves as soon as she recognizes it.

“Jeez, Negan! You scared me half to death,” Chuck says as Negan closes her door and enters the room.

“Sorry, baby girl” he apologizes and strips down to his underwear. “Scooch over.”

“What are you doing?”

“I got back from that run later than I wanted to and I'm tired as fuck. I want to sleep.”

“But you never sleep in my room.”

“Are you fuckin’ kicking me out?”

“No.”

“Then scooch over!” he says, exasperated, and lifts the covers from the bed to get in on her open right side.

“You always sleep on my left, though.”

“I'm not sleeping by the wall. Jesus Christ, Chuck. If you don't shut the fuck up I'm going to throw you over my shoulder and drag you to my room so I can get some goddamn sleep. I haven’t slept for two fuckin’ days.”

“Okay, okay! Jeez, Mr. Crankypants.”

“Turn around so I can spoon.”

“Yes, sir,” Chuck says sarcastically. “Come into my room. Dictate how I sleep,” she mutters to herself as she turns.

“I fuckin’ heard that.”

The next morning, Negan is still asleep when Chuck wakes. She turns around to face him, trying to figure out how to get out of her bed. Negan is to her right and the wall is to her left.

“Negan,” she whispers loudly, trying to wake him up. “Negan, I have to get up and get ready for work.”

He lets out a groan. “Fuckin’ get up then. Why the fuck do I have to be awake for it?” he rasps sleepily and shifts onto his back.

“Because you're in the way and I can't get out of bed unless I crawl over you.” She pokes him gently on his cheek and giggles when he scrunches up his nose at her.

“Well, crawl over me. I'm still fuckin’ sleeping.”

She lets out a groan and starts to awkwardly crawl over him.

“Don't knee me in the dick.”

She giggles and finishes clumsily climbing out of her twin bed, practically falling onto the floor. Negan starts snoring immediately after.

“How does he fall asleep so quickly?” she says to herself.

Her shift later that day is mostly uneventful, so Chuck is reading about more advanced wound care while she sits at the counter. She is interrupted by Simon.

“Heya, angel.” He nods to the doctor. “Carson.”

Carson nods a greeting and goes back to his work at his desk.

“Hey, Simon. You need something?” she asks.

“The guys are bringing in some stuff from the run they went on yesterday. They’ll be around in a little bit.”

“Oh, good,” Chuck responds.

“So how are you doing, kiddo?”

“I’m good. How are you?”

“Just peachy.” Simon pulls at his waistband and puts his hands on his hips. “You look really good. Healthy, I mean.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Chuck feels her cheeks flush. “I’ve gained some weight back.”

“If you’re into gelato, I know this lady that makes it. We can get some... together after your shift-“

“Simon, the guys in the garage are fuckin’ idiots. Will you deal with that shit? ” Negan’s voice barks through Simon’s radio.

“On my way, boss,” Simon says into it. “See ya later, angel.” Simon turns to leave.

“Bye.”

After her shift, Chuck makes her way back to her room to relax for a bit. She turns on her tv and watches a few episodes of her show before Negan is due to come get her. Right on time, he enters her room, not bothering to knock. He looks at the tv screen for a few moments before speaking.

“The fuck are you watching?”

“Supernatural. It was my favorite show. I guess it still is my favorite show. It's not like any new ones are going to come out any time soon to replace it.”

“Oh shit! That’s a nice fuckin’ car,” he says as the ‘67 Chevy Impala races down the road on the screen. “I had one just like it!”

“No way!” Chuck exclaims. “I didn’t know that!”

“Wait.” Negan narrows his eyes at the screen. “Who's that guy?” He points as the camera focuses in on the driver of the car.

“That's Dean Winchester. He's my favorite character,” she says with a smile.

“That guy is?” he teases.

“Well, yeah. Look at him. He's perfect. He's funny and loyal. He's saved countless people. And he's pretty much the most gorgeous man ever.”

“You think he's gorgeous?”

“Yes, Negan,” she says, exasperated at Negan's questioning. “He's objectively beautiful, okay? Everyone thinks he’s handsome. It's not even a matter of opinion. It's just a scientific fact. That dude is perfect.”

“Come with me. I want to show you something,” he says with a mischievous grin on his face. Chuck follows, intrigued with what Negan is leading her to. They make their way up to Negan's room quickly. Once there, he goes to his closet and rummages in it for a bit, before finding a box. He sets it on the bed and pulls out a photo. He cockily holds it up to Chuck’s face for her to look at. It’s a picture of a young man who looks strikingly like Jensen Ackles, the man that played Dean Winchester.

Why does Negan have a picture of a younger Jensen Ackles with a bowl cut? Did he know him? Wait. That's not him. This guy looks a little different. His hair is too dark. And he has darker eyes and… dimples?

Oh god, that's Negan. He looked so much like Jensen Ackles when he was younger! Wow, he was hot! I guess me and my mom have the same taste in guys after all.

What am I thinking?! That's Negan I'm talking about! Oh man, he's going to tease me mercilessly now. That's why he looks so amused.

“Ah?!” He pulls the picture back beside his face and gestures between the two. “See the resemblance?” he teases.

“I see it,” she says, annoyance in her tone.

“So you have the fuckin’ hots for me.”

“No, I don't.”

“You fuckin’ just said you did!”

“No. I said I have the hots for Jensen Ackles . And you're not him.”

“You wanna get a fuckin’ closer look at that picture? We look fuckin’ alike!”

“Maybe young you did. But not you now.” She laughs.

“I didn't age that fuckin’ badly, Chuck. Shit.”

“Aww. I'm sorry. Did I hurt your feelings?” she says sarcastically, trying to change the subject and get the pressure off of her. “Would you like me to get one of the wives in here so she can stroke your ego?”

He lets out a booming laugh. “Did you just make a handjob joke?”

She furrows her brow at him for a second. “No! Oh my god! I didn't mean it like that!” she blushes heavily as he laughs loudly.

“Don't try to change the subject with dick jokes. I know you always had a crush on me in high school.”

“I never had a crush on you. All the other girls definitely did. And my mom, but not me.”

“What? Why the fuck not?”

She shrugs her response. Their conversation is interrupted by the kitchen worker bringing in their dinner. They settle down with their plates and continue their conversation, much to Chuck’s dismay.

“Why didn't you ever have a fuckin’ boyfriend in high school, then? I figured it was because you held a fuckin’ torch for yours truly.” He grins at her.

“Not everything is about you, Negan.”

“Then why no boyfriends?”

She lets out a huff. “I barely had any friends!” she exclaims and shakes her head. “I don't know, have you met me? I'm weird looking and awkward. Not everyone is as genetically blessed and confident as you are. Some of us are just… unattractive.”

He scrunches his face at her. “You're shy as fuck, and, yeah, kinda awkward, but you're not weird looking. You're not unattractive.”

“Well, my 25 years of life experience begs to differ.”

He raises his brows. “Surely after high school there were some nerdy college guys just itching to get in those panties of yours.”

“Uh, no. No guy has ever really been attracted to me. I've never even had a boyfriend,” she mutters as she pokes at her food with her fork.

“Are you exaggerating?”

She shakes her head in response.

“No fuckin’ way! Are you telling me you're a virgin?”

“Well, obviously not… considering how I came to live here.” Even though she never wants to talk about the specifics of what had happened to her at Rolling Acres, she is comfortable enough with Negan to mention it. She knows that he already knows her past and would never push her into talking about it if she didn’t want to.

“Fuck.” He drops his fork. “I didn’t mean... That shit doesn't count, Chuck. Jesus…” Negan snaps back quickly.

“Well, technically it does-“

“No, not fuckin’ ‘technically’. If you never consented for a man to stick his dick in you, you're a virgin.”

“Then, by that definition, I guess I am,” she says after a beat.

“No shit? That's interesting, ” He says as he smirks at her.

“Not particularly,” she throws out. “If you think that is interesting, then you must be really bored in life,” she jokes.

“Then I guess I am,” he says as he cocks his eyebrow.

The next night, Negan makes the two of them a full meal, along with a bottle of wine. Negan portions out the food onto their plates and pours the wine into two glasses.

“Wow. This all looks amazing! But, uh. I'm not really a big drinker.” She points to the glass in front of her that Negan had just filled with red wine.

“Just a few sips then. We're fuckin’ celebrating. And I’m not celebrating fuckin’ alone.”

“What exactly are we celebrating?”

“You putting on weight, being happy. Looking like an actual living person.”

“Gee, thanks for that sorta compliment.” She giggles and takes a sip of the wine. “Wow.” She smacks her lips. “This is really good. The wine I had before tasted horrible. I didn't know wine was this good.” She takes a bigger gulp.

“Well you have expensive fuckin’ taste, then. We got a bunch of bottles of fuckin’ primo shit from some upscale restaurant a while back. This shit would've been expensive as fuck before.”

“I like it a lot.” She takes another drink.

“Well slow the fuck down. I'm not trying to get you fuckin’ hammered.”

After dinner, they move into Negan's room, wine in hand, to play their nightly game of chess. Several minutes in, Negan excuses himself to use the bathroom.

Oh my god, this wine is soooo good, but Negan is being stingy with the refills. What he doesn't know won't hurt him…

While he is gone, Chuck chugs her whole glass of wine and refills it twice, before he sits back down to resume the game. Some time later, the wine starts to take its toll on her.

“Checkmate!” Chuck slurs then hiccups.

“That's not even fuckin’ close to checkmate, sweetheart.”

“Pfffft! Yes it is!” She slaps her hand down on the table and laughs as some of the pieces fell over.

“Oh shit. You are drunk as fuck. You really are a fuckin’ lightweight.”

“I drank a bunch when you were in the bathroom. Like a bunch,” she says, breaking into a fit of giggles.

“Shit, Chuck.” He lets out a disappointed huff. “I guess this game is over then. Your fuckin’ brain is definitely not working right. Time to get you to bed.” He starts to stand, but is interrupted by her.

“No, no, no, no. Wait! I want to ask you something.” She stands from her chair and tries to step over the coffee table in front of her to get to Negan’s couch. She stumbles and lands directly in Negan's lap.

“Fuck! What are you doing? Be careful!” Negan says as he tries to lift her up by her arms.

“Whoops!” Chuck laughs out.

With her upper half being held by Negan, she clumsily kicks out her legs looking for purchase, hitting the chessboard, and sending the pieces flying all over the room. Eventually she pulls herself up and brings up her legs to straddle Negan's thighs.

“Jesus Christ, Chuck! What the fuck are you doing?”

“I want to ask you something.”

“You can do that from any-fuckin’-where but on my fuckin’ lap,” he says as he holds his arms out awkwardly, trying not to touch her.

She takes off his glasses and turns to set them on the coffee table behind her. “Why do you have a beard?” she giggles and brings her hands up to touch his cheeks.

“That's your urgent question?” Negan says as he cocks his eyebrow at her.

“Yup.”

“Uh… I'm a grown ass man and I haven't shaved. It's not fuckin’ rocket science.”

She moves around in his lap and caresses his face and neck as she giggles. “No. I mean now . You didn't have a beard when you teached me in high school. Pffffft!” She laughs at herself while slapping Negan on the shoulders. “When you taught me!�� She descends into a fit of giggles before bringing her hands back to his face.

“Fuck. Stop moving around so much, Chuck.” Negan squirms a bit underneath her. “Shit.”

“I like beards a lot. My mom probably wouldn't like your beard, though. It hides those dimples.” She pokes her index fingers into his cheeks, making him smile. “She always loved your dimples. I think they're stupid.” She traces the lines on his face.

“What? Why the fuck are they stupid?” Negan responds, suddenly a bit offended.

“They're not stupid! Don't say that! I didn't say that! I like them! They just don't fit. Like, why did you make them?”

“What?!” He chuckles. “What the fuck are you even fucking talking about?” He can’t help but laugh at her and her drunk logic.

“Like, your dimples are cute. But you're not cute, so they don't fit.”

Negan quirks a brow. “I'm not cute?”

“Listen!” She squeezes his cheeks together causing him to laugh. “Like, dimples are for cute boys and you're not a cute boy. You're a… manly… guy. All…” she gestures broadly at him, “… hunky and… dangerous, you know what I mean?” She taps his nose with her finger as she says the last part. “Not. Cute.”

“You think I'm hunky?” He grins at her.

“I guess. I mean everyone else does, right?”

“Is that why you're sitting on my fucking lap right now? Because you think I'm hunky? And drunk Chuck is just enough fucking uninhibited right now to crawl right the fuck on top of me?” He smirks at her.

“What? I don’t get it.” She giggles. “Oh! I think I’m in your lap because… I just fell into your lap!” She laughs so hard at her own joke that her whole body shakes.

“Fuck, baby. You are waking the fuckin’ beast right now.” Negan groans out as he tries to still her by placing his hands on her shoulders.

As her laughs die down, her expression gets more serious. “You're my best friend, Negan. I wouldn't be here without you.” She shifts forward to press herself against him and hugs him tightly.

“Shit. Is ‘cute drunk Chuck’ gonna turn into ‘weepy drunk Chuck’?” he says quietly as he reciprocates the hug.

“I like hugging you.”

“You do?” Negan whispers.

“Yeah. You're warm. And I feel safe with you.”

He pauses for several moments before responding. “Is that the only reason? I just make you feel safe?” He shifts to try to look at her face.

“Negan!” She starts to laugh and squirm around. “Your beard tickled my neck!”

“Shit.” Negan grasps her shoulders. “Okay, you really need to get the fuck off me now.” He tries to push her away from him.

“Wait! I want to touch your beard some more! I'm not finished!” She brings her hands to his beard again as he tries to stop her.

“Goddamnit. I'm gonna fucking finish if you don't stop grinding on my fuckin’ dick like that,” he says almost to himself.

“Oh my god. Did I hurt you?” she gasps. In her addled state, she doesn’t understand what Negan is really saying. “Let me see. Did I squish your… you know?” she asks genuinely as she tries to bring her hands down to touch Negan's lap. He quickly grabs her hands and pulls them up, stopping her.

“Don't do that!” he exclaims. “Goddammit, Chuck. You're fuckin’ killing me here.”

“I'm so sorry, Negan. I didn't mean to hurt you! You're my friend!” she says as tears well up in her eyes. She throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly.

“Fuuuuuck.” He breaths out heavily. “I'm fine, baby. You just… gotta… get the fuck off me, please. You don't know what you're doing to me.” He moves his hands to her waist and tries to lift her off of him.

“Wait, Negan! Wait!” She giggles and moves her face right in front of his. “Negan, I have to tell you something, but it’s a secret,” she says in a breathy voice.

Negan swallows thickly and runs his hands from her waist to her hips and thighs.

“Negan?” She pushes forward, closer to him, and puts her hands gently on the sides of his face.

“Yeah, baby?” He whispers to her, their lips so close that they graze each other with the movement.

“I- I think…” she swallows and clears her throat. “I think... the wine went bad. I don't feel very good. I'm gonna be sick.”

“Fucking shit!” He quickly lifts her up and carries her to the toilet just in time for her to empty the contents of her stomach into it. “There you go. Get it all out,” he says gently as he holds her hair and rubs her back when she retches. “You all done?”

She swallows a few times. “Yeah. I think so.” She cleans herself up a bit and Negan leads her back to the bedroom.

“Can you get yourself in bed while I go to the bathroom?”

“Yeah. I can.”

“Do not fuckin’ puke in my bed.”

“I think I'm okay.”

While Negan is in the bathroom, Chuck tries to get herself dressed for bed. She takes off her pants and tries unsuccessfully to take her bra off under her shirt.

“How do I usually do this without taking my shirt off? Why can't I figure this out right now?” she says to herself. “Negan! Will you help me take my bra off!” she yells to him. When Negan doesn’t come out, she decides to just take her shirt and bra off all together and crawl onto the bed wearing just her underwear. She closes her eyes and immediately falls asleep.

Chuck starts to stir as she slowly wakes up the next morning.

“Ugh.”

God, I feel crappy. Why do I feel so crappy? Oh, right. Wine. I drank a lot of it. I. am. an. idiot.

What happened last night? Uhh. I remember telling Negan he was my friend. I remember hugging him. And rubbing his face. I remember him desperately trying to push me off him. I think I might have inadvertently molested Negan a little bit… maybe. Ugh! Kill me now!

Why am I wearing Negan's shirt? I don't remember putting that on. I'm pretty sure I didn't take it off him. I remember taking my shirt off. I must've gotten this out of his dresser. God…

Well, whatever. Don’t think about how much I embarrassed myself last night. I need to pull myself together and get ready for work. Ugh. Working with a hangover. How classy. I'm never getting drunk again.

Luckily for Chuck, no emergencies come up at the infirmary and she has a pretty lazy day. By the time Negan gets her for dinner, she feels pretty much back to her old self.

“So, how was your day?” Negan says with a smirk as he plates up the food he had prepared.

“I was hurting for most of it,” Chuck confirms. “I don't think I like wine anymore.” They both laugh.

“How much do you fuckin’ remember from last night?” Negan asks as he takes his seat and digs into his food.

“I remember most of it, I think. Bits and pieces, anyway. I know I puked at some point.”

“Yeah. Thanks for that. At least I got you to the fuckin’ toilet.”

“I vaguely remember talking about your beard.” She scrunches up her face in embarrassment, waiting for his response.

“Oh, yes. You were very interested in my face.”

“Ugh. God. Sorry! I didn’t mean to molest you.”

“You’re definitely a handsy drunk.” Negan lets out a booming laugh.

“I'm so embarrassed!” She brings her hands up to her cheeks. “I know I must've put your shirt on at some point.” She tries to change the subject.

“Nope. I found you fuckin’ spread out in my bed mostly naked. I put that shirt on you so you wouldn't freak the fuck out when you woke up.”

“Oh, no! Don't tell me that! You're lying. Just say that you're lying and that I didn't get naked in front of you,” she pleads as a blush spreads over her face. She is embarrassed at the thought of Negan seeing her naked, but she knows he would never take advantage of her.

“Sorry, sweetheart. I'm not gonna fucking lie to you. I got an eyeful of your titties.”

“Ugh!” Chuck screams and puts her head down on the table in an attempt to cover her red face.

Negan lets out a laugh. “No need to be embarrassed, baby. You got nice tits.” He teases.

“Stop!” She shoots her head up. “Completely forget about that! Just purge that image from your mind!”

“Nope. That shit’s permanently saved now.” They share a laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation and go back to eating.

The next day starts off like any other with Chuck having spent most of her shift helping Carson hand out medication and cleaning out various minor cuts. Near the end of her shift, two men come in, one worse off than the other.

“My buddy here, he, uh, he had a… seizure,” one man says as he leads the other one to a bed.

“Does he have a history of seizures?” Carson asks.

“Uh, yeah. He's had them before. Uh... yeah.”

Carson does a cursory exam and determines that the man is fine for now, but needs to be watched overnight. Carson dismisses the patient’s friend, telling him not to worry.

“Charlotte, would you stay here to watch over the patient?”

“Oh yeah, sure. Is there anything I need to do?”

“Just observe him. If he starts to seize again, give me a call on the radio. I'm going to head out to eat dinner and then I'll be back to check on the patient. Just keep him resting for now. When I come back, you can go and eat your own dinner. Because we’re going to be here all night.”

When Carson leaves the room, Chuck picks up the radio to let Negan know about what is going on. “Negan?”

“Yeah, Chuck? Problem in the doc’s office?”

“Nothing serious. We have a patient here that needs overnight observation. Just wanted to keep you up to speed.”

A few minutes later, Negan enters the infirmary with a plate full of food.

Chuck greets him. “Oh, hey, Negan. You didn't really need to stop by.”

“I brought you fuckin’ dinner. I didn't want you to go hungry if you're going to be here all night. Where's the doc?”

“He went to eat his own dinner actually. He should be back in a few minutes.”

“What's wrong with the guy?” Negan asks as he points to the man sleeping in the bed, setting the plate of food on the counter in front of Chuck.

“He had a seizure. His buddy brought him in earlier.”

“Hmm.” He pauses, running his hand over his beard. “Alright, then. You don't get out of your turn fuckin’ cooking for me because duty calls. You're cooking for me tomorrow night.”

She laughs. “Yeah, yeah. Okay. It’s not like you don’t do most of the work anyway,” she says sarcastically. “See ya later,” she calls out as he walks through the door to leave.

Several minutes later, Carson returns and asks, “How is the patient?”

“He's just been sleeping. No new developments,” Chuck says between bites of the meal that Negan had brought her.

After several hours of nothing going on, boredom sets in for both Carson and Chuck. Carson has caught up on all his work and then browses medical texts while Chuck takes inventory of medical supplies.

“I don't think both of us really need to be here,” Carson says and he closes the book that he was reading. “I’ll be in my room. Just radio me if anything arises. And keep the door locked. It's technically after hours, even though you're still in here.” With that, Carson takes his leave.

“Great. Low man on the totem pole gets the crap job of babysitting all night,” Chuck mutters to herself. She finishes up the inventory and curls up in the empty bed with a book. Late into the night, Chuck’s story is interrupted by a light knocking on the door. She opens it and sees the patient’s friend standing in the doorway.

“Can I help-“ Chuck is suddenly hit on the head from behind, hard. She instantly falls to the ground, blacking out for a moment.

“I got held up so we need to hurry,” the friend says urgently.

“I think we really fucked up with this plan. Negan stopped by and I think he's sweet on the girl. He's gonna fucking kill us!” the former patient says urgently.

The other man gives him a look and picks up a pair of scissors from the counter. He walks over to Chuck, who is lightly moaning in pain on the floor. He covers her mouth with his hand, making sure the noises she’s making are muted. “We should be long gone before anyone knows what happened. As long as the bitch doesn't raise a stink and a savior comes running. Take that radio on the counter. We’ll be able to hear when the alarm sounds.” The man gestures to the other and he takes the radio. “Now go get the pills from the closet and I'll make sure she doesn't scream.” The man takes the scissors and stabs Chuck in the left side. He squeezes her mouth shut to stifle her howl of pain. “Fuck! Why are you taking so long? We only have a few minutes before guard change at the gate. Get that closet open and get the pills!”

Chuck is barely aware of what happens next, hearing shuffling around and hushed voices. She knows that she needs to get help, but she doesn’t dare move, fearing what the men would do to her. She tries her hardest to keep awake, but the darkness starts to seep in. She can’t fight it any longer and blacks out.

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