#I need a drink.

[conejita-canelita]

“What a year today has been” I say as I walked into class to take my final exam this morning, saw it was for another class, stood in horror realizing I had missed my final exam because I read the schedule wrong, emailed my professor begging him to let me take it, got permission to take it, ran to the office when I was already halfway back to my home, took the exam with 20 minutes to spare, ran back home to collect my things, ran back outside, and have 30 minutes before my last exam of the semester.

[oscillating-fan-whore5]

How do teenagers even live in such states of exhaustion I don't remember this. Or maybe I'm just old and need a nap. Gonna go watch Silence of the Lambs or Halloween maybe.

[infizero]

they cant show me shadow and maria sitting in that fuckass flower field holding hands and expect me to just go about my day WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

[winbred]

true blue is so samdean like genuinely replaced chicago with california and its them. the lines can easily be from dean and sams perspective too. i would explain it but it's obvious ...

[jennrypan]

..Anyways.

Argylle is pissing me the fuck off. Idk why.

[beefsaw]

nooot good. not good at alllll hahah.

[ceratinus]

[monards]

desperately trying to theorize when we’ll meet Hexenzirkel. Until I remember Alice is actively it.

[exdayshiftguardhana]

..ow.

Sorry I just... Sorry.

[infizero]

and the fact that scar won in THAT fucking skin of all things. the cloak of last life with the flowers of 3rd life. jesus fucking christ

[globodamorte]

...is jeongdo planting memories in seongbin's head. hear me out.

ok first of all I literally almost threw up reading this episode. the music was a cool touch but the way jeongdo was pressing seongbin like "I need to humiliate him" "he's thinking he's better than us bc were being slandered by the media" (which btw way to make your personal feelings seep into the investigation asshole. the media is slandering y'all bc y'all are incompetent pigs. like. sometimes I thought I was going too far with jeongdo's obsession with seongbin but this confirms it for me. he's making it personal. he's making it about himself) "I need to come up with something doesn't matter if I'm wrong" "you were scared of being just like your mother" idk felt so icky to me. literally how dare you talk about his mother like that. how dare you bring up his abuse and purposefully trigger him.

"uuuhh but investigation tactics" if purposefully triggering trauma in people is investigation tactics then they're are abusive end of story lmao fuck off. there's ways to interrogate people without traumatizing them.

anyway.

we know seongbin said "I don't think I would do that". this highly indicates he doesn't remember killing anyone.

God fucking dammit I can't write properly I'm just so disappointed. I hate this lmao

anyway wtf was I saying. yeah he doesn't remember much and so the pressure of a policeman saying "we know what happened even though you don't" can fr just. make seongbin accept those "memories" as the truth. jeongdo may be literally gaslighting seongbin into believing that he did it.

like. idk how relatable this is. but yk that feeling when you don't know if something that seemed to have happened in your childhood actually happened or if it was a dream? also sometimes when I'm asked to recall something I don't remember, often I'll think "I can imagine/see myself doing this" but I'll still not know for certain. does that make sense? now imagine this feeling while being under severe mental distress

what I mean is seongbin is not in the right state of mind to be able to say for certain that he's remembering things. also jeongdo kept pressing and triggering him of course he'll not be stable enough to think properly. his mom just died too and the pigs that tased him are shit talking her.

I'm seriously so upset I might cry. bashi I'm gonna grab your foot when you're asleep.

I'm also so pissed at jeongdo fr IDC anymore. fucking pig I hope he chokes on mud

everyone in this webtoon is an unreliable narrator. so I can safely say that no, we can't be sure those "memories" are even real they could just be jeongdo's re-imagining of the murder

I hope maybe Dr. ju intervenes somehow. as the psychiatrist I hope she can do something. isn't this a thing like in trials? where you can object bc they're inducing the person to think/answer in a specific way? maybe she'll intervene bc his testimony won't be reliable idk whatever

I don't know what to say. this doesn't feel satisfying. the puzzle pieces seem to be falling into place but I keep thinking "this can't be it... it's too easy"

I can only hold on to the hope that I'm right on my meta analysis of the series as a whole and boy if I am right... oh boy...

but on the other hand I literally can't help but think that something's wrong. and idk maybe it's because I keep thinking there's No Way they'll go through this cliched overused and most of all offensive and ableist route. but what if they do? what then lol I'm seriously so sad

I can't even joke about how if there's a twist and it's not seongbin then I'll suck bashi so silly and sloppy like i feel defeated. they're torturing me they don't deserve my tornado blowjob... not now at least. even if bashi defeats the ableist allegations they won't defeat the psychological torturer ones 😔

to the one person who reads these. I'm so sorry this is so messy

[emphasisabled]

me on my hands and knees scrubbing the entire kitchen floor after a bit of dishwashing powder gets on it, washing my feet, my hands, washing the mats, flipping them, washing the undersides, changing my clothes, washing the counters, and still vibrating with the urge to scoop up my cats after they go in the kitchen and scrub their feet to make sure they didn't walk into what's not even there anymore because it can't be right?

i'm rational. /jk

[sugarstarlights]

2 hours. I let my exhausted ass take a little magic nap for only /2 hours/. And another nightmare. One of the worst. Complete with sleep paralysis. Why is my soul so fucked up. Why can’t I exist in a peaceful, inactive state for any amount of time without being forced to relive traumatic bullshit. I was /almost/ finished getting over the majority of it. I was /just about/ to set aside this kind of pain and move on with my life. But no. I just /had/ to get that space I’d just cleaned out all cluttered and filthy again, figuratively, I guess I’m not allowed to exist without some kind of suffering right at the surface of my mind, even when I push the rest under, even when the source of most of it is gone, something totally unrelated has to rip my wounds back open, I guess I’m destined to never be /truly/ free. Fuck. Why can’t I just magic away my fucking PTSD like I have for the rest of my problems. :^(

[scriptmyworld]

laudna died…they’re stranded separately in the desert…the ship is damaged….

[masnmounts]

liverpool are going to have a lovely time walking all over us

YOU’VE NOT GONE CLOWN FC DAVI YOUR KILLING ME, anyways livershit are just as bad as us and no one seems to ever win. i refuse to lose to liverpool and it will be a 1-1 draw. i rest my case, goodnight.

[onebrainsel]

I could've been taking a nap, but no, I was answering one anon.