#I need a break 😂
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Imelda x Poppy🥹💓
#I am LIVING for all of the Imelda posts I’m seeing lately what is this🥹💓🙏#this was so fast please excuse the messiness !!!!!!!!#Im currently listening to no rain by blind melon until the title comes true 😤#(could be until tomorrow idk)#ajsjskejdjjdjenz jajajajaja omg#as i was typing up these dumb hashtags#someone knocked on my window (I live on the second floor so 🤔 I was so confused🤔)#a worker got stuck in my patio and he didn’t have keys LMAO#he saw me sitting in the window drawing and so he climbed up the wall to see if he could come through my apartment and get back to where he#needed to be bc nobody lives below me😂😂😂😂😂😂#as he walked through he complimented the gym we have set up in our apartment LMAO IT WAS SO AWKWARD🙏🙏#I will be locking my windows from now on🙏🙏🙏 at least hasta que terminen las obras 😭😭😭😂😂#what if he breaks into my apartment to work out!!😨 (he was really nice poor guy…this is obv a joke)#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#imelda reyes#poppy sweeting#imelda reyes x poppy sweeting
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I had a clear vision with this one.
I did NOT need to spend that much time on this BUT DAMN IT IT’S FUNNY-
Context: Peppino was annoying the fuck outta’ him and it got so bad he wanted to take him home.
He was done with his bullshit- 💀
#Pizza Tower#TW: Alcohol#I’m a LITTLE upset that the last panel only came out….okay#I don’t like how it looks- I COULD DO BETTER#But that was my third attempt at drawing it so I got tired AND I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP- 😭#But it’s okay. It’s not GREAT but it’s okay and I’d rather have it look okay than bad-#Anyways the idea of Peppino annoying the absolute FUCK out of Gustavo while drunk is too funny#I tested it today and yeah he snapped at me-#It was mostly cuz I was doing stupid shit and he couldn’t control me 😂#And then he drove me back home which was nice- and still funny#Gotta mention how much I love drawing Gustavo mad-#He’s an absolute sweetheart but I’m telling you- bend the straw too much you might just break it.#And he had a migraine so I made it worse- 💀#I love C.AI bro it’s a masterpiece ✨✨#Took me a bit but I had fun. And I like the first two panels they looks great#Peppino#Gustavo#Drunk#Art
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Jut found out that the full Touchstarved game might not be out till 2025 so here's a scenario I imagined with Ais. Has the others interact with mc too, but Ais is the main love interest. Hope this doesn't feel too much like my oc. I chose the Unnamed route so that may be brought up.
Worth The Trouble ( Ais x GN Reader )
( Content Warning: Violence, Blood, cursing, Ais being Ais, Remember what he did to that guy in the demo )
MC = Y/N ( I'm too tired from finals to type the slash, sorry 😭)
It started off as a normal day in Eridia, or at least as peaceful as things could be in the hellscape of a city. MC went to the market for some light grocery shopping, their small tote bag half full, when a group of kids zoomed past them. For a flash they could see that the kids' arms were full of produce, a few stray fruits leaving a trail in their wake. It was mere seconds before an enraged yell from a man was heard.
" Get back here you little shits!!!" the a man, a local produce seller, barreled down in the kid's direction. Nearly knocking down passersby, MC included.
One of the smaller kids tripped, dropping all of their stolen goods. They called to their friends for help but it was too late. The seller had already grabbed them by the collar like a stray puppy.
" Stupid maggot! I'll show you what happens to thieves around here!!" He pulled back his meaty fist to strike them.
Without thinking, MC ran to grab his wrist before the blow landed.
" Hey! That's going way too far."
The seller looked down at them and snarled.
" Stay out of this! This is between me and this little thief here."
" I get that but look at them." MC pointed to the kid's dirty clothes that were holding on by threads. " Clearly they aren't stealing for the fun of it. Can't you let them go?"
The seller scoffed at them, foul breath fanning their face. Thankfully they held back their disgust.
" I'm not running a charity. If the kid wants to eat the kid's gotta pay."
MC thought for a moment as they stared at the child, who was still curled in a protective ball. Although their face was covered, it was clear by their trembling that they were crying. MC immediately remembered all the times they'd been hungry and in need after they fled the temple. While they survived they couldn't imagine doing so at this child's age. How long had they been suffering?
" I'll do it."
" Do what?"
" Pay." MC reached into their cloak and pulled out their coin purse. " I've got plenty to spare." which wasn't true but they'd manage. The seller gave them a long, calculated glare before sighing.
" Fine."
He put the kid down. They gave a quick glance to the seller then the MC before grabbing their haul and scurrying off to where the rest of the group went. MC wasn't expecting a thank you, but the last look the kid gave to them over their shoulder was enough.
" Ok," MC counted the coins in their palm, leaving the purse nearly empty. " Will this be enough?"
The seller took the coins. Counting each while scratching his stubbly chin.
" Yeah, almost..."
MC looked at him confused. They were sure that they gave him much more than his nearly, spoiled produce was worth. They almost didn't notice his arm go up. But they did feel the strike across their face. Everything went white for a moment as they stumbled. Pain flared over the entirety of the right side of MC's face. They pressed their palm to it and whipped their gaze back to the seller stunned.
" What the fuck is your problem??!!" they shrieked at him.
" Don't look so confused. You said you'd pay for everything. That includes punishment. " He let out a dark chuckle and walked pass them. " Maybe think twice next time you wanna be someone's savior."
MC gawked at his back. What kind of asshole pulls a stunt like that. He got his money fair and square. Clearly he just wanted a reason to cause someone harm. They wanted to let it go and move on but crap that hit really hurt. His hands were big enough to crush their skull and they were pretty sure that his ring cut their cheek. There was no way they were gonna let him walk away so easily.
" Hey!"
The seller turned around and was met with a fist right to the nose. He reeled back, giving MC enough time to land a kick to his kneecap. He fell to the city floor with the gracefulness of an old dying ox, MC's coins going down with him. They grabbed a handful of them before making a break for it back to the Wet Wick.
Out of breath, energy, half their coins and what little faith they had in humanity, all MC wanted to do was go to sleep in their room and maybe have some of their scraps for dinner. It could've been made into a full meal but they hadn't realized they'd dropped their tote bag until it was too late. Thankfully, the bar sounded empty from the outside, so at least they could avoid the headache of possibly socializing.
" Hey sparrow."
Shit.
There right in his usual spot at the bar sat Ais, accompanied by Vere and Leander.
" Hey Ais..." they said weakly, pulling up their hood even more to hide the blooming bruises.
" Um Excuse me. I'm here too dear. Goodness has being here already dulled your manners?" came Vere, tail playfully swaying.
" Hey Vere." they said quickly as they tried to flee to their room, but that would've been to easy.
" Oh MC how was the market did you get anything good?" Leander asked, conveniently getting in front of them and blocking their path. They didn't look up at him and did their best not to adjust their hood again.
" Yeah, yeah it was good."
" But where's your tote ba-"
" It's getting late I'll see you guys later." MC swerved around him, nearly home free.
" Sparrow."
They stopped. Ais' piercing gaze burning into their back.
" Come here, please." he instructed in a soft yet stern tone. They couldn't resist him. He'd only pry more if they did, so reluctantly they sat next to him, avoiding eye contact.
" Take off your hood."
They stayed still. The air filled with a tense silence.
" Ais come one. They've probably had a long day. I'm sure their fi-" Lenader nearly choked when MC took their hood off. " What the hell happened?! Are you ok?!"
" Obviously not." Vere scoffed. " Thought I smelled blood but that's nothing new for you. Do tell, what mess have you found yourself in this time, MC?"
MC let out a tired sigh. Leander's worrying and Vere's teasing made for a sickening combo on an already shitty afternoon.
" It's nothing. I just ran into a bad guy at the market. Nothing interesting." They were about to get up to leave when Ais' hand was placed firmly on their shoulder.
" Humor us would ya? What really happened?" While the slight smile on his face was meant to be assuring, MC knew he was up to no good.
" Really it's nothing. I just saw some kids steal some food and one of them got caught by the seller. So I thought hey why not be nice and help this clearly starving child. But nope! As usual the situation blew up in my face. Apparently coins weren't enough payment for the guy so he- " They mimicked the back-handed slap motion they'd been a victim to. " The asshole didn't even have the decency to warn me first, so I thought it was only fair to get in a few blows in myself then run like hell before things got too heated. So yeah that's it. Nothing special."
After what they hadn't meant to be a ramble there was another thick silence. Crap maybe I said too much. Then a low chuckle came from beside them. Oh good Ais found the story amusing, maybe they were worried for nothing. But that was quickly put aside when they turned to look at him.
His grin was downright dangerous. Fangs gleaming and all. His eyes were even worse, glowing with a bloodlust that would scare a soulless shitless.
" I'll be right back." he said, getting up from his seat and stretching out his tired joints with a pop.
" Ais." Leander warned. " Let's think about this, ok buddy."
" Nothing to think about. Now," He stood in front of MC and leaned down to their level. " Which seller was it?"
MC felt their pulse quicken. Not just from being at eye level with Ais, but also from the immense violent aura he began to exude.
" Really Ais it's fine. I hit him pretty hard so we're even."
" I'm sure you did. But this is purely for my own selfish vices. I can't rest easy knowing this jackass is going around threatening kids and hitting customers. So who was it?"
" Ais. It's not worth the trouble just let it g-"
Ais' hand swiftly taken ahold of their chin. With a gentleness that greatly contrasted his character, he tilted MC's face to better examine the damage. They couldn't help the heat that rose within them.
" Plenty worth the trouble to me." He tilted their head back to face forward. " Who was it, MC."
Maybe it was the softness of his tone or the way he said their name instead of Sparrow, but they confessed. Even down to what stalls the seller's had been next to. He gave them a small, genuine smile and went on the hunt.
" Well, there's no stopping him now. Let's get some ice on that bruise, hm." Leander went around the counter, paying no mind to MC's breathless expression. In no time he came back with clean rag and another with ice inside. " Alright let me see."
Before he could attend to their face, Vere cut in.
" Leander, didn't the doctor leave some magic elixir or whatever for minor injuries in the backroom?"
" Oh you're right. He did. I should go get it."
" Yes you should." Vere smiled sweetly then frowned once Leander was out of sight. " Good I couldn't tolerate him for much longer without Ais here."
" Don't get too excited, he'll be back soon." MC reminded him.
" No he won't," Vere swiped the rag that Leander left on the counter near the ice bag before turning back to them with a mischievous smirk. " I poured those nasty medicine bottles out weeks ago."
MC gawked at him.
" Why would you do that? What if someone needed those?"
" What like you? Don't be such a baby you'll be fine. Now hold still. I can only take so much of you blood smelling up the place."
With a similar gentleness as Ais, Vere took hold of their chin and began to dab the blood away from the cut that was already beginning to close. MC didn't have the energy for anymore shock today, so they relished in the care.
" You know. This pacifist act you're playing won't do you any good in this city"
MC sighed and grabbed the ice bag to put on their bruise once he was done with the cut.
" I'm not a pacifist. Trust me I've got nothing against that jerk getting what he deserves. I just don't want Ais to get in any trouble because of me."
" Hmph, now why would Ais get in trouble?"
" Because, he's a monster. What if the Senobium punishes him for being too violent?"
Vere hummed to himself. He carelessly tossed the bloody rag on the floor and leaned back against the counter, tail swishing languidly.
" Oh don't fret dear. The Senobium's too up their own asses to care about a few lowtown brutes getting torn apart. Besides I highly doubt Ais would do anything so dreadful as to get a punishment like mine. And if he did..." Vere's eyes turned a bright pink, his fangs seemed longer as well. " I'd tear this city to the ground before they laid a finger on him."
MC just stared at him for a while. The primordial fear in their gut was unmistakable, but they couldn't help but feel a bit relieved.
" Well I'm glad Ais has a friend like you to look after him."
The fox scoffed.
" I'm not his friend."
A bit confused by that response, they were sure he was joking. The duo seemed as close as Mhin and Kuras if not more.
" Ok then I'm glad you're his very close, foxy furry acquaintance."
Vere's ears went down as he scowled at them.
" I can break you like a twig. Don't forget that."
They merely chuckled at that although they weren't entirely sure if he was serious or not.
" Sorry for the wait!" Came Leander's chipper voice. He rejoined the two with a small container of bandaids and a bottle of unknown liquid. " Took me forever to find this elixir. I could've swore we had more bottles. Thankfully, I always stash a spare."
" Wow how great is that Vere." MC gave him an innocent smile that in turn got them glare. Vere definitely meant that threat now.
----
Ais arrived back at the bar late into the night. He wreaked of blood despite his best efforts to clean himself. He didn't want to make another bad impression on his new...new friend? Acquaintance? Whatever they were he wanted them around him more often. Which would be hard if they were scared of him. Did he scare them before when asking about the seller? They seemed nervous, but most people were around him, especially after knowing about his brutal tendencies.
Perhaps they didn't mind. He got a good look at the seller's broken nose, and what he could assume was an injured knee that made it all the easier to catch and corner him. The sparrow really did have a tough side after all. He was almost sad that he sullied their work with his own. No one would suspect that what was left of the asshole was the handiwork of two pissed off individuals. Maybe returning their tote bag full of goods and the coins that he'd swiped from the guy's pockets would be a good enough apology gift.
The barkeep was cleaning shot glasses when he arrived. Out of no where a wave of unease hit him. Maybe he came back too late and should just leave their stuff here.
" Got something for MC. Can you give it to them for me?"
The barkeep only spared him a quick glance.
" Do I look like a delivery boy? Drop it off at their door yourself, I'm busy." She replied with a bitterness that he always found amusing.
" Yes ma'am."
He was in front of their door when the doubt came back, sweaty palms too. What the hell was he nervous for? He doesn't get nervous. This was just a small favor for a frien-aquaintance. Just put the stuff down and go. But what if someone took it? Maybe he should see if they're awake first. Maybe not what if he wakes them up.
Annoyed by his rambling thoughts he did least smart thing and opened, which should've been locked, door. It was dark inside, aside the moonlight from a small window. His higher than average vision could make out a small bed with a lump under the covers. Next to it was a dresser. He made his way to it quietly, mentally cursing the metal on his boots for the creaks they made in the floorboards.
Finally at his destination, he set the tote bag and coins on the dresser and turned to leave. But curiosity got the best of him. He snuck a peak at MC and it was all over. The covers were up to their nose. There was a small bandage on their cheek. The bruising seemed to have healed a bit. Ais had never seen them look so peaceful. It was actually pretty cute. Then he realized how creepy this whole situation was and made his way to the door.
" Ais...?"
Shit!
He stopped mid step, looking over his shoulder at them. Their eyes were barely open and their voice was quiet and soft.
" That you?"
He sighed.
" Yeah it's me sparrow. Don't worry just wanted to return your bag. I'm leaving, go back to sleep." he kept walking.
" Are you ok?"
He stopped again, wide eyed.
" What?" he asked.
They yawned.
" I smell blood."
Oh, he thought. They were worried about him? That's actually really sweet. When was the last time anyone got worried for him? Vere and Kuras maybe. But they knew he could handle himself. It's what's he's good at. Looking out for himself when no one will. When everyone else leaves eventually.
But maybe MC wanted to stick around.
He smiled, unsure if they could see his face so he made sure they could hear it in his voice.
" I'm just fine sparrow. It's not my blood you're smelling."
They smiled back before yawning again.
" Good. Well see ya later I guess..."
They curled back into their blanket and pillow, already drifting. He took in the sight one last time before leaving and closing the door.
" Yeah see ya later."
The barkeep and every wander through the night had no idea why the feared demon renegade, Ais, had the softest smile on his face all the way back to the wastelands.
#touchstarved game#touchstarvedgame#ais touchstarved#ais#ais x reader#touchstarved ais x reader#red spring studios#vere#leander#touchstarved#breaking news local eridia demon bad boy who claims to have no friends gets giddy over having a new friend#him and vere need to stop tripping they like each other 🙄#vere low key liking mc mostly because ais likes them#leander liking mc cuz he's a lonely big tiddy loser who gets jealous of ais and honestly I like that about him#its so funny haw vere can't stand him#also he totally knew that vere poured out the medicine 😂#god I love it when when bad boy character types softly pine for their love interests🥺💕#autocorrect keeps mispelling all their names except for leander😤
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Bullies vs. Townies
and...
The trio!
#bully game#bully fanart#bullworth academy#bully canis canem edit#bully scholarship edition#bully cce#bully se#really want to draw the rest of the students but i need a break😂
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peanuary day 16: naptime 😴
time for some pötköttely!
#käärijä#peanuary#he needs some rest he has had a very busy january so far!#i don't really like this one oops but gotta use what ive got to get thru peanuary 😂#then im gonna take a break from drawing him for a WHILE methinks#or who knows really maybe not#hope everyone isnt sick of him yet hehe
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I was thinking to myself recently how wild it would be if this fandom was big enough to do a kinktober. Alas...
#me rambling#or like at least one of those week things for a ship or a specific show#maybe that's more attainable#also i say any of this as if i am a known smut writer when i definitely am not 😂#i would like to be i'm just not confident#but there could be gen options too#it's just funny to me because the source material here is so out there it kinda lends itself to kinks right?#i mean there is canonical mpreg in tyo#eddie is sticking a whole sofa up richie's arse in one of the bottom lives#alan b'stard is a canonical sadist in bed#and out of it too#there's other examples i can't think of now#i also just constantly think about fandom events i'm afraid#idk why my brain is like this i just constantly wanna set up creative events but unfortunately for the nichest things 😂#the rik and ade fest is great but only runs once a year#sometimes we do scumbag secret sanata#but those things both depend on collaboration to a certain extent in that one person is creating for another#which is great!#but what i'm proposing here is free reign to just take a vague prompt and make something for it#fic art edits literally whatever#to be posted here or ao3 or instagram or wherever else#because it could be fun and we could all hype each other up#and sometimes creativity needs a nudge#or just the chance to break from a bigger project for something short#i am waffling a lot i'm sure i'm gonna run out of tags soon but let me know if this appeals to you#even by an anon if you're shy!#this is very vague i'm not even sure what the specific event would be centred around#like should it be for a single show or everything#maybe i will open a discussion? probably not but maybe 😂#rik mayall
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Is it bad if I message my boss and say I don't want to go into this next meeting because I'm on vacation next week, but mentally I'm not here?
#navybrat rambles#work work work#no i won't do that#but...#😂🤣😂#i need the break#are you reading my tags?#go drink some water#stay hydrated my friends
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Something about writing the revelation act in mbarbyc is making the little demons living rent-free in my head go barmy crazy. like. you read the ides of march scene, and then immediately the next act you get to know how merlin killing arthur makes sense. absolutely insane
#anyone who's been waiting for the fic to be completed:#i recommend you start now#bec. god you WILL need the break 😂#and the revelation act is getting posted this week!#merlin#bbc merlin#merthur#ao3#arthur pendragon#merlin fic#king arthur#julius caesar#ides of march#fic: my breaths are run by your compass
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in this episode Imogen:
Took off her circlet. You know, that one that finally gave her peace and quiet, that soothed her constant pain and anxiety, and that gave her the confidence and energy to get back to fully feeling comfortable on her own skin after years. That’s the one. She just took it off.
Told laudna that she was disgusted by the fact that delilah was always watching them. You know, something that laudna fully has no control over whatsoever.
Admitted that she felt like she’s “tainted” and that the gods have been ignoring her for her entire life, in spite of her trying over and over to reach them. So she doesn’t really want to save them.
Mentioned being genuinely scared of meeting Liliana again. Totally not a problem, I’m sure nothing bad will happen there. Specially not in the next couple of episodes.
Said some unfair stuff to fearne, that I genuinely think is coming from somewhere else entirely, and I hope we circle back to eventually.
It’s safe to say that I am officially ✨worried✨ about the farmgirl
#I will not tolerate any amount of Imogen hate on this post if anyone even dares#miss temult will only be treated with love and tenderness in any post of mine 😂#but anyways#girly has spent like the last 2-3 eps fully hearbroken about the shit that keeps happening to them#so like yeah#of course#she’s on some sort of breaking point#she talked to a god yet again who she’s trying to save only to be ignored and pressed upon the fact that she’ll lose the woman she loves#Laudna’s abuser has been continuously tormenting them and fully damaging Laudna’s wellbeing whilst she can’t do much of anything#laudna asked her to move on and find happiness when Delilah inevitably takes over#also to take her down before that happens#they’re about to go to the moon where they could face and/or even have to kill some of the bad guys that include her own mother#plus she’s constantly fighting off this intrinsic need of hers to give into a power that’ll destroy her and everyone she loves#the farmgirl is truly NOT doing alright#oh and a friend of hers just manipulated another friend of hers into letting them kill themselves#pretty wild#critical role#Laudna needs her own post btw cause she’s going THROUGH it as well#imodna#imogen temult#southern gothic#c3#cr spoilers#c3 spoilers#critical role spoilers#bells hells#campaign 3
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Is it bad that my first thought after total shock seeing that Alicole scene was man, that'll be great to use for Rhaenicent manips?
#The Rhaenicent brainrot is real#And like#Alicole actually being intimate makes ZERO sense to me character wise#Like Criston was all torn up about breaking his vows with Rhaenyra#But he's got no problems breaking them for Alicent?#Granted he's now spent years unhealthily obsessed with Alicent. But still. I'm gonna need to see some moral wrestling from him about it#And Alicent??? She spent her early years of marriage being maritally raped#and could never understand how Rhaenyra found freedom and pleasure in sex#I'm happy for her to finally have good sex like congrats girlie#But it was still a shock to me seeing her go from 0 to 100 on experiencing pleasure and enjoying sex#I got whiplash#With all her trauma and religious beliefs I would expect it to be a long journey to get to the place we opened the episode with#And we didn't see ANY of it nothing to show how she got to that point#At the end of the episode I think she was riding Criston??? And like again. Good for her#But don't erase all the nuance she doesn't need a girlboss-ification it does her character a disservice#... All that said#I'm definitely looking forward to using that scene in a Rhaenicent manip😂#Rhaenicent#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#criston cole#Hotd#hotd spoilers#Hotd s2#hotd 2x01#house of the dragon#Mine
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Papyrus shouldn't in therapy
Because he should be okay!
#Papyrus was just too busy in France to post but I'm back!#Ok OP here. I couldn't post because of my poor mental health state#and fanily issues I also got busy running a tournament and stuff so I just took a big break. I will try to post every day drom now on if#I remember to do so haha! I have ADHD so umm... Wish me luck remembering 😂#I'm glad to see people are still supporting this!#Papyrus will come back from therapy soon!#Even Papyrus needs help 🌼#*family (I wrote 'fanily')#therapy#papyrus in places he shouldn't be#papyrus#papyrus undertale#undertale#undertale papyrus#the great papyrus#*from. no 'drom'#excuse my poor spelling I write too fast
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Oh how naive I was…
#recently saw a comment from someone saying they hoped there was more romance in Lucas’s salvation end and I. 👀#did not have the heart to tell them to mentally prepare themselves 💀#ahaha I mean. yeah sure in a way. 🙃#we get a lovely bonding CG of us stabbing him in the neck and later kissing him after he’s died so like uh yay? 💀#the more I see people commenting about their hopes and dreams for the salvation ends the more I feel the need to rant again lmaooo 😂#AND!#vague maybe spoilers for the fandisk in the following tags so beware :O#I’ve heard some vague ominous foreboding statement about the fandisk and… y’all I can’t#I’m gonna break my controller if he still still gets a shitty depressing end even in the FD 😭😂#like OKAY GAME. I KNOW HE’S DEAD. BUT CAN WE HAVE A SLIGHTLY HAPPIER/HOPEFUL AU???#please nadia too she is so innocent…#please give the Proust siblings a break dear lord 💀#virche evermore#shuuen no virche#Virche evermore spoilers#shuuen no virche spoilers#there’s not enough fanart/fanfics/shitposts for me to be able to cope with more despair even in the fandisk please I’m begging… 😂#never before have I used the 💀 emoji so much when talking about a character before#my post
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I accidentally bought a dog house without the plastic bottom so I went back to the store to get the bottom half and by the grace of god Herself two gay girls ended up helping me and istg every single time one of us said bottom or top we’d laugh, and it was like we all knew why we were laughing but none of us wanted to acknowledge it, but then one of them got on the phone with another store to see if they had it and she goes “yeah, the customer needs a bottom to her top” and I had to walk away I was laughing so hard
#we could barely make it thru the conversation#I swear we’re all 12 years old when we get with other gays lmaooo#but she found the bottom for me so#so now I’m headed to the other store to have the exact same conversation with someone new#please let them be straight and unknowing I need the break 🙏🏻😂
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being nonbinary is a weird kind of alienation when you're into x reader fics.
crushing majority of fics available are written by cis women, having cis women in mind. almost all your mutuals are cis women, you really want to interact or at least join the thirsting bandwagon, but you feel you don't really belong there.
queer alternative? if you're lucky to avoid the dominant anti vibe, the crushing majority of what remains is written by cis men, having cis men in mind. it also reeks of misogyny, to the point you're often not welcomed if you have a pussy but don't identify as transmasc.
out of desperation, you end up pecking at everything that at least has promising tags, but in the best outcome you realize yet again how you don't match here, in the worst it triggers bad gender feels or body dysmorphia or both.
so, you avoid trying to read for comfort, avoid reading even when your mood is just a little off, because you worry you may end up with the worst outcome. you read less, you know less people, you interact less, the bubble grows tighter and tighter, and whenever it touches you, you panic you may, in fact, remain alone.
#sorry i was browsing higuruma tag during break and i bounced off the wall and it kinda made me cry inside aslskjjd#i keep telling myself i need to try with ao3 cause tumblr search sucks ass but ngl i am afraid#i cling to the thought that at least there's ao3 but if i see there's the same shit there i might actually implode 😂#bas mumbles
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Having one of those "poking my brain with a stick begging it to do anything" nights
#aristocratic witterings#i'm trying to break myself out of the post-work nap habit#so i can fix my sleep schedule#i am....so sleepy#but it's 6:30pm which is too late for a nap now#c'mon i can do this#just need to find something to occupy myself for ~3ish hours#for someone who loves writing and video games you wouldn't think that'd be difficult 😂
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The fact I honestly thought I'd pull off playing College Craze and being normal about it, and then less than a week later I've already played it multiple times, made a duel MC au, a Pinterest board, and recreated some of the PopMe pages, is genuinely not lost on me.
#college craze#katie talks ifs and vns#i made psds for new contacts and calls too but didn't really have a use for them in this#also i just bs'd vidtok if it pops up I'll redo those but >.> i think you can tell who my favorite RO is so far okay (it's Pierce)#and then jay shaun ruby and trish also have me by the throat like if Trish has 0 fans I'm dead okay#I've known those characters literally like 4 days and I'd go to bat for all five of them already ok - my beloveds#anyway madeline mostly follows canon (the divergence is Ches exists and Ches is canonly the one fake!dating Shaun for Mad's tuition)#otherwise what the vn throws at Madeline she gets ok and then Ches breaks canon... so much it'd be probably too long for the tags#but this is what i get for being like 'this oc I've been writing for a decade+ would be down so bad for Pierce and Shaun lemme do a#playthrough with her and see what happens' - this happens apparently 😂 listen the vn helped me get through the entire time my mom was#in the hospital (she's home now) so tbh it was a really appreciated distraction <3#extremely long post#long post#edits:mine#college craze: ches#college craze: madeline#college craze: madeline x jay#college craze: ches x pierce#i had fun with these though like Madeline messaging Ches to ensure she isn’t going to come in and find Jay in the dorm#and Ches being like ‘yeah my vidtok is 100% Pierce’s fault’ yikes I need to sleep I’m excitedly tired rambling#sorry if this post is annoying (and for the lines under the categories breaking future me will fix that in further edits if I post more#those may be relegated to the shit post blog though we’ll see posting oc stuff makes me so anxious ngl)#im just hitting post I’ve been staring at this stressing it like two hours now jfc
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