#I miss their friendship I hope they can become better friends in future comics

[smthfunnyidk]

Do u think that any of the old super hero fan groups she was in ever leak old photos of heros (or maybe their plucky side kicks)

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Possibilities [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Title: Possibilities Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Female!Reader Word count: 3k Published: 6 July 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Warnings: Mention of food and alcohol Summary: Tom and you have been friends for a long time and because of that same reason you value your friendship more than to ruin it with some silly feelings. But the event you attend together offers you some surprises that might change your relationship forever.

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Events, galas, award ceremonies. You weren't a popular actress nor a famous singer, or social media influencer. You had a simple 9-5 job that would hardly ever get you into these events. But regardless of your status in society, you were known and not because of any talent you possessed that could have made you famous, but because your best friend was none-other than Tom Hiddleston.

You have been friends for years, you adored everything about the man. He was sweet and kind, always polite, but just as playful. It was a friendship you felt lucky to be in, a friendship that you held so close to your heart, it would have broken every little piece of you if it ever ended. Often, you found yourself staring at him with a little smile in the corner of your lips, watching his every move, the way he joked around with his co-stars on set, the way he exercised in the gym for a role, the way he winked at you with a mischievous smile as he caught your eyes on him.

"Do you need my autograph?" he asked with a wide grin as he opened the door of the luxurious car he booked for the event. Once again you have forgotten your eyes on him— his dashing looks, the perfectly fitted suit, the playful twinkle in his eyes. He never stopped teasing you about it.

"Shove off, Tom," you nudged him as he got out of the car and held out a hand for you, waiting for you to accept his help. So, you did. Wrapping your fingers around his hand, you let him help you out of the vehicle as you rearranged your stunning dress and ran your hand down its length to remove any creasing. Cameras were flashing, reporters' loud voices filled the pathway to the entrance, a long red carpet leading your way inside the building towering over you like a modern castle.

"If I didn't know better, I would think your interest in me goes beyond friendship," he chuckled as he held his arm out to you, waiting for yours to be placed over his, his eyes following every little movement of yours. A sudden rush of heat travelled up to your cheeks, your breathing slightly laboured as you tried to calm your heavily beating heart. He was not wrong after all. It's been years since you have been harbouring these feelings, but you hadn't had the heart to confess them. Tom was more important to you than to ruin it over some silly feelings.

Sometimes, when you caught Tom's eyes on you, watching you intently, a soft smile spread across his face, it made you think if maybe, just maybe he was harbouring similar feelings towards you. But the idea was quickly swept away by your doubts, the thought of such an amazing man falling for you seeming impossible. You knew your worth, you didn't write yourself down, but Tom has always been perfect in your eyes, and you couldn't imagine him wanting you even if at times a certain silly part of your brain whispered otherwise.

"I love your healthy self-confidence," you finally gathered your ability to be able to reply, earning a comical huff from him. You have been trying hard, to deny your romantic interest in him, but rumours about the two of you have become a reoccurring news and it didn't help your case to shove your feelings in the back of your mind.

"Ready?" He asked as his gaze turned towards the red carpet. Heaving a heavy sigh, you nodded and murmured a 'yes' as a response.

As soon as the cameras started flashing, hundreds of photos of Tom and you being taken, you conjured a sweet little smile that the tabloids loved. You were always nervous when it came to these events. It was Tom's job to answer some of the questions journalists asked of him, which meant they were to ask about your relationship. It was becoming repetitive, making you feel uncomfortable. The questions themselves didn't bother you but repeating over and over again that the man you have fallen for is merely a friend, felt like a stab in your heart, each time you responded.

"Tom! Tom!" One of the reporters shouted his name and he led you to the side of the red carpet, halting right beside the metal cordons. Questions were flying around, photos had been taken, but you didn't concentrate. Your senses were heightened as Tom pulled you in his side, his arm now wrapped around your waist, gently, but firmly holding onto you. Looking up at him, you studied his face, his ice-blue eyes focusing on the reporter, an excited smile across his face. He seemed so relaxed, so collected, meanwhile even events after events you were still nervous. As though he could feel it, he turned to you with a soft, reassuring smile, giving you a nod, silently asking if you were alright. For others, the movement could have easily been missed, but to you, it was like an earthquake, shaking your heart, making you fall even deeper for him. In a reply, you nodded and offered him a smile as you squeezed his hand that rested on your waist.

"So, Tom, this might be a bit more personal, but everyone has been talking about the two of you," he started, and your eyes immediately darted towards the man. You knew the question, heard it a thousand times already, so you prepared your heart to give the same reply as always. 'We are just friends,' you repeated time after time, hoping they would finally understand and let you be, but they didn't seem to budge. "You have been friends for a long time, and your fans have been talking about how close the two of you have become. Do you think, maybe in the future, there's a possibility for romance to blossom?" He asked with an expectant expression, a sly smile in the corner of his lips.

"As we have said before," you spoke up, ready to reply as you always did, "we—"

"You never know what the future holds for you, there are many possibilities" Tom cut in with a mischievous smile, your eyes growing wide as you looked up at him. Tom chuckled at your expression as he leaned down and kissed the top of your head. "Tell me I'm wrong," he arched a brow questioningly, his words starting your heart off at a faster pace, your cheeks feeling warmer under his intent gaze, those blue eyes you often found yourself lost in.

"Well—, I mean I can't argue with that statement," you replied, feeling slightly awkward. A confused smile started growing wider on your face as Tom led you away. "Why did you do that?" You asked as you finally stepped inside the building, his arm still resting around your waist as you headed towards a large room filled with all sorts of foods and drinks, people dancing in the middle, the dim lightning offering a rather intimate mood. "You just created even more gossip," you scolded him, but seemingly he didn't mind. He led you to a table where his name was printed on a nametag and pulled the chair out for you before he took his seat beside you.

"I didn't say anything," he smiled at you as innocently as he could manage, the corner of his eyes crinkling.

"You did. Exactly because you were so secretive, people will want to read between the lines. They will think there's more to us than friendship," you huffed as you hid your face in your palm and heaved a heavy sigh.

"And is that so bad?" He frowned, earning the same expression from you.

"What?" A silent scoff left your lungs. "What are you trying to say?"

"Is that such a big problem if people think we are together?" He asked, his confident tone stunning you.

"Of course, not. I don't care what rumours are being spread about me, but I don't want them to gossip about you," you reached for his hand on the table and wrapped your fingers around it, giving it a gentle squeeze. His expression stayed emotionless; you couldn't read him entirely, but you knew he seemed off.

"I will go grab us a drink," he said as he stood up, leaving you frowning. You weren't sure what you said that made him upset, and regardless of trying to put on a straight face, you knew he wasn't happy with your response.

You watched as he walked over to a small table filled with the most delicious looking cakes and a couple of bottles of champagne, ready for the guests before they brought out the main course. Tom grabbed a battle of champagne and two glasses, filling up both halfway, before he placed the battle back into an ice bucket.

"What is it?" You asked as he returned and gave you one of the glasses.

"What do you mean?" He asked, taking a seat beside you.

"We've known each other for quite a long time. I can read you like an open book. What's bothering you?" Trying to get him to open up, you shuffled closer to him, your chair scraping the floor, turning heads in your direction. "Oops," you scratched the back of your neck awkwardly, earning a chuckle from Tom.

"Very subtle," he mocked you.

"Don't change the subject Mr. Hiddleston," you raised a questioning brow, a tiny smile hidden in the corner of your lips.

"Nothing is bothering me," he added, but your suspicious gaze didn't falter. "I'm being honest, darling," the sly little fox knew his nickname for you would make you soften up and he used every opportunity to say it when he felt cornered.

"Fine," you squinted. "But we aren't done! I'm not blind, I can see something is on your mind."

"Yes, ma'am, I can't wait for this conversation to come back around," he mocked you once again, making you huff as you gently punched his shoulder.

Throughout the night, said conversation was forgotten, the alcohol consumption rose, the amount of people dancing around the room grew, meanwhile others sat at their tables, trying to digest the previously served delicious meals. You couldn't deny that you had a good laugh with Tom and his co-stars from all sorts of movies he had been in. It felt like a little family, people coming together to just have a joyous time.

The way Tom smiled at his friends, praising each other, before turning to mock one another forced your eyes to rest on his excited features. He looked so alive, so happy and the feeling of the man you loved being in his element meant everything to you. Tom was radiating enthusiasm and you couldn't look away as you watched his ever-growing smile, his nose scrunched up at an unexpected subject, his head falling back as a loud laughter erupted from his lungs. He was always handsome, but when he was happy, it filled you up with a certain warmth that you couldn't explain. Like you always wanted to make him happy just to be able to see that cheerful smile spread across his face.

He turned to you, catching your gaze on him once again. His arm sneaked behind you, pulling you closer and leaning down to your ear. "You are staring at me again," you couldn't see it, but you could feel his smile spreading wider.

"I like to see you happy," you shrugged with a soft smile as you leaned back to be able to meet his gaze. His smile faltered, but his eyes softened.

"Dance with me," he said as he offered his palm to you, and you placed your hand in it.

"I take no responsibility for broken toes," you said with a silent chuckle as you followed him to the dancefloor.

"Don't worry, darling, it's worth the injury," he mirrored your expression as you stopped in the middle of the dance floor. A slow, romantic song started playing in the background, his arms finding their perfect position around your waist as yours sneaked around his neck.

It was a slow and peaceful dance, not requiring much knowledge and talent. You just enjoyed each other's presence, gazes meeting, smiles forming, swaying to the slow rhythm of the music. You didn't speak a word, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. It never was with Tom. A soft smile, a quick glance, a simple gesture meant more than thousands of words when you were with him.

You laid your head against his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat, taking on a quicker pace just like yours did. "I miss you when you are not with me," he spoke for the first time as he leaned down and kissed the top of your head. You didn't move away; his embrace was too comfortable, and you couldn't care about people watching you.

"I always miss you. You are the one travelling all the time after all," you chuckled lightly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"I could be only a mile away and I would still miss you," he replied as you pulled back a bit to meet his soft gaze, but there was no smile present across his handsome face. As the song finished, you found yourself standing in front of him, slightly confused about the conversation. "Do you want to go to the balcony? Have some fresh air?" He asked, taking on a more cheerful expression, but you knew him more than to believe it was genuine. In a response you nodded and linked your arm with his.

Following him through the sea of people, you finally arrived at the balcony, looking down to a smaller version of a park, a water fountain standing tall in its centre. You leaned against the rail as you watched the trees battling the silent wind, fallen leaves being blown across the walking path. Tom joined beside you, his eyes following the same direction as you did before they halted on your face. "You are being strange tonight," you spoke up, feeling his gaze resting on you before you turned to him, meeting his eyes.

"I'm just thinking," he added with a half-hearted smile.

"About?" You asked as you reached for his hand resting on the rail and placed yours on top of his. He turned his palm upside down and lifted your hand, hinting a small kiss on your knuckles as he heaved a heavy sigh. "Tom talk to me," you squeezed his fingers reassuringly, his eyes watching you, not leaving your gaze for a moment. "You have been rather quiet around me," you added.

His whole body turned to you, as though he was focusing his complete attention on you. Reaching towards you, he brushed your hair to the side, gently tucking it behind your ear. You leaned into the touch involuntarily, only realising your actions when he caressed your cheek with his thumb, before moving down and running it across your lips. The feeling burnt you, starting your mind off in a very dangerous territory, one that you have been avoiding. 'He is your friend' you tried to remind yourself. But once the tip of his thumb brushed along your lips once again, you couldn't stop yourself. Stepping forward, you placed your hands on his chest, steading yourself and rose on your tiptoes, pressing your lips against his.

Your own bravery surprised you, but Tom didn't seem affected. As soon as your lips met, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer. He didn't hesitate, he wasn't surprised. He just held you, gently running his lips along yours, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. But as much as you wanted to enjoy the moment, realisation hit you. You were kissing your best friend. You gently pushed him away, stumbling back from the force, covering your mouth with your palm. "I'm so sorry," you breathed, panic rising in your chest. "I have no idea what happened, I don't know why I did that, I'm so sorry," your words were rushed, your heartbeat loudly pulsing in your ears.

But Tom's gaze twinkled. A soft, warm smile grew wider across his face as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you. "I'm not," he said as he pressed his forehead against yours. "I've been wanting to kiss you," he breathed as he closed his eyes momentarily, slightly shaking his head. "I've been wanting to tell you how much I love you; I've been trying to gain the courage to say it out loud," he scoffed. "I'm a fool for dragging it out for so long, but I love you," his voice shook as he said the words, but his arms tightened around you, safely holding you against his chest. It took you a second to understand what he meant, that your feelings weren't unrequited, that he has been harbouring the same feelings you have.

A heavy sigh left your lungs, as though a weight fell off your chest. Your lips curved into a smile as you placed your hands on his cheeks, running the tip of your thumbs across his jawline. He mirrored your expression whilst leaning into your touch, planting a small kiss on your palm. "I love you too," you replied finally," the words rolling off the tip of your tongue easier than you expected. "I love you so much," you giggled, wanting to repeat the words over and over again, until you finally understood that it was real, that you weren't dreaming. "You never know what the future holds for you, huh?" You asked, repeating his words from earlier in the evening, earning a loud chuckle from him. "So, is this one of those many possibilities?" you raised a single brow.

"Could be. I have a couple more ideas," he said, his soft smile turning into a confident grin.

"You are terrible," you gently hit his chest as you grabbed his suit-jacket and pulled him down to you, meeting his lips halfway, smiling into the intimate moment you have been craving for so long.

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[petruchio]

what if i’m turning 21? my birthday’s in a few days it feels so weird

to be honest i think the advice to just have a little snack and sit in the sun for a while is probably the best thing to remember at any age. but 21 is a weird year! my 21st year was characterized by the extreme uncertainty and confusion that was 2020, so it was hardly normal, but here’s some of my tips for your early early 20s (i say… as a 23 year old) (but hey. maybe my advice still has merit!)

you’re fine. literally it’s fine. whatever you’re worrying about probably either a) doesn’t matter or b) will work itself out in a way you can’t even begin to predict right now. i spent so much of age 21 in a state of absolute despair over not having an internship for the summer of 2020 and was completely convinced that i would never get a job and fail at life forever and ever the end. spoiler alert none of that happened, i have a job now, and i wasted a lot of time beating myself up over a future that wasn’t even real!! so really. it’s going to be fine. i promise.

if you’re in college, try to embrace the process of learning, not just the result. this is such a special time in your life and education, when you are (mostly) free to just *learn* and nothing else!! take advantage of it! but don’t let that take away from making meaningful friendships. skip your readings and drive to the beach at 2am sometimes because you can. try to find a good balance of studying and spending time with friends. inevitably fail to strike the right balance and fall behind in class. try again next week. work too hard and feel like your friends are forgetting you. try again next week. don’t get too down on yourself about it. remember that all your friends are trying too.

the person you are crushing on is probably not your soulmate. but honestly, it’s ok to let yourself think they might be. daydream your whole life with them. gossip about them to your friends. pin all your hopes and dreams on a fantasy version of this person you’ve talked to three times. go ahead. do it. you have my permission. it’s not hurting anyone.

move your body every day. go for a walk and listen to a comically upbeat playlist or call your friend who lives far away. have a dance party with just yourself and your reflection in the mirror. join a dance class or do yoga or find a gym that you like. sometimes the best way to get out of your head is to get into your body. try to get enough sleep and drink enough water. notice what makes you feel good and try to do it again. then do it again until it becomes a habit.

call your mom (or your grandma, your sibling, your best older friend. whoever is important to you). she probably misses you and hey, she actually has some pretty good advice sometimes. take some of it. don’t take the rest of it. learn from your mistakes and get annoyed thinking about how your mom was right. call her again and tell her she was right. remember that while you have youth and boundless energy and possibility on your side, sometimes it helps to talk it out with someone who’s been through it. intergenerational friendships will enrich your life and help you to build a solid network of people who love and support you in many different ways.

eat a vegetable. no seriously please eat vegetables. and fruit. if you have access to a kitchen, try to learn a few quick and healthy meals that you can throw together with whatever you have in the house. this will save you lots of time and money in the long run and you will also feel better

fall in love. fall out of love. get your heart broken. feel everything and write terrible poetry and decide you want to learn the guitar so you can write sad, sad songs about getting your heart broken. meet someone new and forget all about the guitar and the bad poems. read them back to yourself in a year and laugh. read that one line and say to yourself “no, that’s pretty good, actually.” embrace the messiness. have fun with it. take a look inside your brain and turn it into art. it’s all worthwhile.

go outside. watch the seasons change. take pictures of sunsets and clouds. wear good spf and dip your feet in a creek. buy a new coat for fall. on the coldest, darkest evenings, marvel at the fact that you can remember winter happening last year, and how it feels different than winter when you were five, ten, fifteen. when the flowers bloom again in the spring, relish in the fact that you’ve somehow become an entirely different person than you were at this time last year. smile, laugh, and bloom with them.

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding XXIII

Part I - - - - - - - - - Part XX - - - - Part XXI - - - - Part XXII

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

The office was quiet but for the occasional shuffling of flimsi and tapping of datapads.

Bail Organa and Mon Mothma pointedly did not exchange a glance behind Padme’s back.

Senator Mothma set down her pad and broke the silence. “Padme...are you alright?” she asked softly.

“I’m fine Mon, let’s just go over the bill,” Padme responded stiffly.

Mothma hesitated. “That’s not the only reason I asked you here, Padme.”

Padme stood, chair scraping gratingly. “I see; I’ve already had the Chancellor pry me today in an attempt to exploit my ‘connections’ to the Jedi—as though they’re droids and not flesh-and-blood people who any average person could strike a friendship with—but I had thought better of you two; I suppose my faith was—”

“That’s not what I meant—” Mon pleaded.

“We’re concerned about you,” Bail insisted gently. “You don’t have to tell us anything about the Jedi that you don’t feel comfortable doing so.”

Padme paused, then reluctantly sat back down.

“My apologies,” she muttured. “It’s been...a long day. I’ve been asked by the Chancellor for help in breaking some news that...I’d rather not.”

The senators waited patiently for Padme to collect her thoughts. She rubbed the bridge of her nose. “General Kenobi has suffered from...force...I really don’t think there’s a way of saying this that doesn’t sound bad.”

“I had heard rumors that he was missing at meetings the last few days...has something serious happened?” Bail asked, concerned.

Padme shuddered. “This office is...”

“It’s clean,” Mothma confirmed quietly. “I have it checked independently anytime I’m gone for more then 15 minutes, with random deep-scans.”

“Would you mind...”

Mon nodded and the three waited in silence until the Chandurllian senator’s pad trilled the all-clear.

“Master Kenobi tried to kill himself earlier this week,” Padme confessed lowly. Mon straightened up in a sudden locking of knees and elbows, face drawn into tight lines. Bail’s hands flew to his mouth, tears forming.

“Knight Skywalker got to him in time, and he was in a coma until this morning when he apparently ‘ranted about ending the one’s responsible for the war’ and then vanished, along with Anakin.”

Mon grew very pale and Bail moved both hands from his mouth to his eyes.

“Fuck,” he said softly. “Just...fuck.”

Padme nodded in agreement and Mon inhaled deeply.

Bail rubbed way tears and straightened up resolutely. “How can we help?” he asked Padme. “How does the Chancellor want to handle releasing the news?”

She smiled weakly. “He’s leaving the exact wording up to me, but wants to make the announcement during the next full Senate gathering.”

“What!” Mon half-shouted, shocked. “There’ll be a riot! Surely a bulletin—even a press conference would be better for encouraging a moderate reaction—people will be shouting before he’s through the first sentence!”

“I know,” Padme agreed with a grimace. “But he wants ‘transparency.’“

“He wants panic,” Bail fumed.

“I’m trying to decide if it would better or worse to include the part about suicide,” Padme said bitterly. “Mental health breakdown and disappearance of the Republic’s highest General doesn’t leave much room for confidence or privacy.”

Mon clutched Padme’s hand in support. “I’ll have a PR team on standby. We can prepare resources for anyone who has questions, avoid conspiracy theories from spinning out. I already had a project on the backburner to put together own set of holoclips of the Jedi working towards peace—a counter to the ‘warmongering’ narrative, so to speak. It should be easy enough to adapt.”

“The Chancellor’s going to turn this into another military spending bill,” Bail predicted grimly. “We’ll make sure there’s a proviso in there to provide actual support for the Jedi in the field; I’ll make sure to get a legal team on viper in the grass duty as soon as the responses start coming out.”

“Thank you,” Padme said, gripping Mon’s hand over-tightly in return. She turned to the Alderannian senator. “I’m sorry Bail, I know you two are close.”

Bail exhaled slowly. “This war...I’ve seen Obi-Wan survive so much, and everytime he pulls off the impossible...”

“He’s rewarded with another burden on his shoulders,” Padme finished sympathetically. “Yes, I’ve been watching the same thing happen to Anakin. It’s—if the separatist movement hadn’t resolved into such a democratic and humanitarian nightmare—”

“You should go home and get some rest, Padme,” Mon urged. “It’s late, and the we’re all going to need to be sharp tomorrow. Who knows, maybe some new information will materialize before the afternoon.”

“Why Mon, that’s almost optimistic of you,” Bail remarked dryly.

Mon flashed him a wry grin, looking at Padme out of the corner of her eye. “Well. She did say Anakin with AWOL—”

“Oh do be quiet,” Padme huffed.

Despite the ever growing desire for sleep, it was another long hour before the Senator from Naboo departed. The pair were just turning to their seats after escorting Padme out when Bail let out a startled yelp; Mon instinctively kicked at the sudden small green blur.

Fortunately, when you’re green and the height of most humanoid’s knees, you become quite experienced at avoiding such reflexive 

“Master Yoda! What are you doing here? How did you even get in?” Senator Mothma staggered backwards, reverting to defensiveness to cover up her embarrassment at attempting to punt the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order.

“Has his ways, a Jedi does,” Yoda replied mysteriously. Mon Mothma nodded seriously as Bail restrained himself from rolling his eyes. He had spent far too much time around Obi-Wan for deliberate Jedi vagueness to hold much weight. 

“Can I—May I offer you a seat?” Mon asked, quickly recovering her diplomatic grace. “I’m afraid that you’ve just missed Senator Amidala, but I’m sure she would be eager to return; I understand she’s...concerned for Master Kenobi.”

The wizened Master shook his head, ears flopping as he hopped onto Padme’s recently vacated chair, standing on the cusioned seat as the two senators’ settled down. The sight should, perhaps, have been comical. But the weight of his gaze...Bail held his breath. Perhaps Jedi mystique did still have some affect on him.

“Come to speak with the two of you, I did. Missed Mistress Amidala, I have, I know. Deliberate, this was.”

Mon and Bail frowned, exchanging a slow look of pointed disapproval. Bail spoke hesitantly but with touch of reproach. “I’m certain she would prefer to be here, regardless of the news—Padme has suffered for her public defense of the Jedi, I should hope that that friendship is returned, especially in hard times”

Yoda’s ears drooped. “A great Jedi, she would have made, in another life. Vibrant, she is in the Force. Loud to a Jedi, regardless of sensitivity. But needed now, quiet is.” 

Yoda’s gaze pierced Bail and he warmed inexplicably. “Quiet the two of you are. Brilliant, wide but in the Force...” Yoda broke the gaze, growing contemplative.

“Unique in the force, each soul is. That can be read, rare is the mind. More difficult to discern, currents, intentions, manner, it is with some, it is with you. And now, Quiet we need.”

The two settled back, uneasily flattered. “Master Yoda—it’s an honor of course, to be considered an individual worthy of confidence, but why exactly do you have need of quiet minds? Of us?” Senator Mothma asked finally.

The diminutive Master sagged. “By actions you would do, trust you have earned. But always in motion, the future is. A heavy burden, to carry, I must ask you. Without cause, I would not ask. But once tell you this I do—” 

To the politicians shock Master Yoda’s simmed to glisten with unshed tears. “—Guarantee your safety I cannot.”

The air hung warm and heavy for a timeless moment and a chill ran up both their spines. But neither were individuals particularly given to indesicion in the face of looming danger. 

“How can we help?” Mon asked, the words echoing over far more than an hour. 

“We know something is wrong with Obi-Wan,” Bail added softly. “Whatever we can do to right it—Obi-Wan is a friend, the Jedi are our allies, and the Republic is our duty.”

Mon nodded firmly.

Yoda stared at them each in turn, eyes searching and ancient.

“Working with the Separatists, the Chancellor is,” he said bluntly. “Evidence of this, we have, but not proof. Controlling, the Separatists, the Chancellor is. Evidence of this we have also, but not proof. The truth it is.”

“Evidence?” Bail parroted hoarsely, mentally assembling his own grim circumstantial coronation even as his understanding of the conversation’s direction fell apart.

The Jedi Master drew two small glittering objects from his pocket—a datachip and a microslide. 

“In the brain of a trooper, this we found.” he said gravely. “In the brain of all clones, this lies. Orders, it contains. Evil, is it. Free will, it can control. Decode it we have. To the Chancellor, tied these orders are.”

“Force,” Mon murmured in horror, responding automatically. “He already controls the public, and the courts—”

“And over half the senate,” Bail added bitterly.

“A Sith, he is,” Yoda continued with a sigh. “A Sith he has always been. A return to an Empire, he aims.”

There was a long heady pause as the two grappled with the return of the ancient boogeyman of the Republic and the repeated derailing of their night’s direction. 

“Fuck,” Senator Mothma said delicately, thinking wistfully of two hours ago when she had planned on confronting Padme yet again on her relationship with a young Jedi.

“Said the same, did we.”

The Alderannian Senator rubbed his temples, trying to come to terms with consecutive massive shocks from the already unexpected conversation. “Is Obi-Wan alright?” he asked eventually.

The small Elder hummed thoughtfully in reply. Bail tensed.

“No and yes. Suffer much, he has. Broken he is, but not shattered. A plan he has. His idea to include you, it is. The bravest man in the galaxy, he called you.” Yoda said, offering Senator Organa a sad smile.

Bail leaned back, stunned. “Me? But—why me?” he asked bewildered.

“Know not, I do,” the Jedi said with a shrug. “Seen the future, he has. A future where saved his life, you did. Saved my life. Saved something too precious to name, you did. Matters little, it does. A future that must not come to pass, it is, even as learn from it. we do.”

“...I think you’re going to have to explain that somewhat,” Mon replied sternly as Bail’s head spun.

Yoda nodded and the three settled in for a sleepless night of planning treason.

Part XXIV

[dontcallmecarrie]

Ohhh I’d love to see the Doom POV!!! Justin X Doom has my vote

Loki would be cute too, much drama with the avengers

Honestly? This snippet mostly summed up my take on Victor von Doom in this AU, and I'm not sure how in-character he is considering my main reference base for him is the 2005-7 movies and a handful of comic book panels.

Apologies for any inaccuracies, I'm playing very fast and loose with how I would have made him fit in the MCU. Plus this AU's turning out a lot, lot fluffier than I'd originally expected, too, considering the original premise was supposed to just be 'SI-OC as a villain protagonist, let's see where it goes!' and not much else.

.

Okay, so if we're talking about potential crushes, then it's obviously very one-sided at first [because Justin's brand of obliviousness has him younger-sibling-zoning anyone remotely his age for the longest time].

After all, these two met in boarding school, and were only physically reunited years later but if we're exploring how this ship would work, here's how I think it'd go:

Victor von Doom didn't think much of his study buddy, at first.

Because at first, he just wanted a quiet place to read, and most other children his age were rowdy and kept trying to get him to play with them, or tried to pick childish fights over nothing, and he had no patience for anything of the sort because he was here, at boarding school instead of with his family, and he'd heard the whispers of growing tensions and he knew they'd sent him away for his own safety but that didn't mean he had to like it.

So he mostly kept his nose in a book, and focused on his studies, and just generally tried not to think too much about what was going on in his home country.

If that meant he was a bit more snappish than the average child, he didn't particularly find it in him to care. Sure, this place was lauded as where the social elites sent their spawn to network from an early age, so what?

...as such, he didn't expect to make any friends.

But he did, starting from the moment they wordlessly agreed to share the alcove because there weren't many other quiet places to study for the upcoming exams.

From there, what Victor would have expected to be a one-off turns into a strange sort of routine as they meet up week after week from then on, giving each other a brisk nod as they pull out their books and set to work.

It's...surprisingly nice, having someone to study with. Victor's not certain how old his companion is, but he's quiet and hardworking and generally less draining to be around than most children their age.

Their first conversation is several months after they've first met, when Victor didn't notice he'd forgotten to grab a pencil for his worksheets and his...schoolmate[?] lends him a spare.

From then on out, their friendship is something gradual, something comfortable. Victor's companion respects boundaries in ways he hasn't really seen outside of his family— is sensitive enough to his moods that he knows when to change the subject, and when Victor's struggling to articulate his feelings and just needs time to do so.

...it's one of, if not the thing Victor misses most, when he gets pulled out of boarding school.

Because after that, things only go downhill from there.

.

Latveria's civil war was... bloody, let's just leave it at that.

Brutal, with a laundry list of factions and alliances that were forged and broken from one breath to another and Victor hadn't set out to be the leader of his faction— but it wasn't like he had any other choice.

He was one of the last surviving members of his family, if there was any hope that his country would be anything other than a fragmented mess then he had to step up.

Even if that meant a teenager was the face of one of the most eminent factions of this damn war, someone nobody really took seriously, and if Victor hadn't had years of seeing his oldest friend's charisma at work then he honestly has no clue how he would've managed to get as far as he had.

And then things escalated even more, and Victor honestly hadn't expected to live to see the end of the fighting, let alone what came after.

One of his advisors was the one to suggest making one last attempt at buying their weapons through a vaguely legitimate source; nobody with any sense was selling to their region, but the black market favored some of their biggest rivals and things were getting desperate enough that Victor signed off on it.

It was a long shot, and they all knew it.

...as such, that first shipment of Hammer Industries weapons took them all by surprise.

.

Victor had never set out to become the new leader of Latveria.

But here he was now, loved and feared and reviled around the world and he doesn't know where to go from here, but... the fact that he's alive to even be able to think about a future after the war was an incredible boon as it was.

Now that he is where he is, he can afford to think about more than just surviving from one day to another, and apart from working on rebuilding Latveria, he's also got some personal projects going on.

Such as finding out who came through at the eleventh hour, because now that he has the time and space to look a gift unicorn in the mouth he's realizing just how many laws must have been broken for those first few shipments to have gotten there.

The paper trail is a dead end, but once Victor starts poking around it should be so, very easy for him to get answers.

After all, Victor was a warlord-now-technically-dictator with access to black-ops personnel and honest-to-goodness death squads, getting intel on what he wanted should not be this hard. Sure, Hammer Industries had good information security, but... apparently, Hammer Senior wasn't the type to get involved in this sort of mess, which meant Victor had no idea who was responsible and he wanted answers—

In the end, one picture is all it takes.

Actually— when he'd first seen the picture, Victor had been in the middle of a meeting with some of his most trusted advisors and generals.

...suffice it is to say, nothing productive got achieved after he recognized the face of the heir of Hammer Industries, once he realized he'd never actually gotten his childhood friend's full name.

The less said about his reaction to the picture, the better, too: Victor's advisors had seen him at his best and at his worst, why they'd freaked out so much was anyone's guess.

So what if he'd kept it, after the meeting was over? Those looks were uncalled for!

.

Victor owes Justin more than he can name— so when there's a ghost of a chance to reconnect, he takes it.

.

Regrets were had.

Everyone at the UN summit looked at him, and he gritted his teeth as he faced off against seasoned politicians twice and thrice his age and he knew what they were expecting, knew they called him a dictator where his country called him a hero and neither of them wanted him here but Latveria had to re-enter the international sphere somehow so they were stuck with him.

Until Zemo got his act together and finished that international relations course, at least. Oh, and got out of the habit of shooting his problems, that too.

Victor had managed to get them diplomatic immunity, but that'd be a hard sell.

...it's funny. Latveria's civil war was over, but... he found himself at odds as to where to go from here.

.

It's funny, how the more things change, the more they really, really don't.

Victor had been a quiet and antisocial bastard back in boarding school, surviving a civil war hadn't exactly done much for his temperament either.

Or his social skills, for that matter.

And just like always, Justin's mere presence was weaponized sunshine.

...Victor never stood a chance.

[free-pool-trash]

folklore - isaac lahey {1/?}

my first isaac piece... y’all i can’t even lie this kind of got away from me but here we are so let me know if you want me to commit to making this a series!!

this is pre-bite isaac!!!! because i haven’t seen anybody write for him before he was bitten so i wanted to explore the dynamic of him and reader while he was just normal, which obviously i’ll get more into in future parts if anyone would be interested in reading more <33 feedback would be really appreciated !!!!!

masterlist

word count: 3.2k

warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse (i think that’s it but let me know if i missed anything)

mostly fluffy but a lil angsty

i’m gonna tag the people that replied under the post i made asking if anyone wanted an isaac fic hope that’s okay <3 let me know if you want to be added or removed from the list for possible future parts!

tagging: @makeusfreefromthisfandom​ (thank you for putting up with me while i attempted to write this), @cece-lives-here​, @chocolate-raspberries​, @tanyaherondale​ again lemme know if you wanna be removed or added <3

PART 2

You could remember with complete clarity the day you'd met your best friend, who also kind of happened to be your only friend, but that minor detail didn't even matter as you wouldn't ask for anyone else or anyone more and what was better was that you knew for a fact that said best friend felt the exact same about you.

It was the first day of middle school when you'd met your long time best friend, both of you had been wide eyed and hopeful about the coming years as you were seated beside each other in your very first class. He'd been shy at first, glancing at you with a nervous smile and playing with the zip of his pencil case when the teacher instructed you all get to know the person beside you.

"My name's (Y/n), what's yours?" You asked him, a friendly smile on your face- you knew from the get go that you were the louder of the both of you. 

"I'm Isaac." He answered you with a smile that was more certain than the last one he'd offered you.

He'd tensed up again, however, when you pointed towards his backpack. Even so early in the day someone had already poked fun at the bag that was covered in comic book characters that the boy loved so much, with the way you pointed at it excitedly he couldn't help the nerves that built up in him, he didn't know why you were excited, you either liked his backpack or you liked teasing people, he seriously didn't know.

His nerves settled down once you'd actually opened your mouth, "Woah, your bag is so cool! You like Spider-Man too?" Your eyes sparkled with excitement and Isaac finally allowed himself to reciprocate it.

"Thanks! Spider-Man is my favorite superhero! Do you read comics?" He asked you with a smile that had widened significantly since the beginning of your meeting.

"No, I don't have any comic books at home…" You explained with a slight frown before your lips lifted back upward as you continued, "I watch all the movies with my dad, though!"

Isaac nodded in understanding, blue eyes shining bright with happiness that he'd made a friend so easily, while he usually found the task quite difficult since he was very soft spoken, your charismatic energy seemed to rub off on him as he found himself talking to you easily.

"I've got some in my backpack, do you want to read them with me at lunch?" The boy asked hopefully, his shy demeanor returning ever so slightly as he realized he'd just taken a leap of faith, something he didn't love doing.

Head nodding enthusiastically, your smile grew only wider, "Yeah!"

The memory always made you smile as you'd sat with each other at that lunch time and at every other lunch time from that day onwards. You and Isaac were a pair, as you grew up you did mostly everything together, his father and brother loved you and your parents loved him just the same.

He knew all of your secrets and you knew all of his, including how abusive his father became after the death of his older brother, he'd told you but under the condition that you didn't breathe a word to anyone else, so you kept your mouth shut but did everything in your power to support him in the aftermath of a punch or emotional scar. 

Isaac often voiced how much you meant to him, despite the fact that he wasn't great with putting his feelings into words, he always managed to remind you that he was sure you were some sort of guardian angel to him or how you were really and honestly his favorite person in the whole world. The proclamations more often than not came mixed with shaking breaths and sobs from your favourite boy. You were both sixteen the first time it happened.

A knock on your front door tore your attention away from the show you were watching, you raised an eyebrow in question. Neither of your parents were home and you weren't expecting them back until the next morning, shrugging your shoulders you made your way to the front door, opening it revealing Isaac looking more broken than you'd ever seen him in your five years of friendship, his blue eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with red, cheeks painted in tear tracks and loud sniffles sounded from him along with a sob that threatened to rip your heart out when he met your eyes.

Immediately you'd rushed him through your doorway, barely taking the time to shut the door before you had your arms wrapped around his shoulders, standing on your tiptoes to reach him due to how tall he'd become in the last few years. His arms wrapped around you in seconds as he began shaking against your smaller frame, sobs wracking his body violently. 

After a minute, when his cries didn't die down as they usually did, you ushered him towards the couch, sitting him down and taking the seat beside him while you looked him over for any obvious injuries.

The only thing you noticed was that his fingernails were stubbed and bloody, as if he'd broken them trying to claw himself out of somewhere. You slowly and gently placed your palm to his cheek, stroking your thumbs under his eyes, removing his tears as you did. He was cold, no, he was freezing and you couldn't tell if he was shaking from the temperature or from whatever trauma his father had inflicted on him to put him in such a state.

"What happened, Isaac?" You asked softly, scooting closer to him when his hands reached out for you, they clutched the fabric of your hoodie- his hoodie- tightly, he only shook his head, pulling you into him completely, arms now wound tightly around your torso as he cried into your shoulder, you'd never seen him this shaken up, you'd never felt his tears soak through two layers of your clothing but you supposed there was a first time for everything as your curly haired best friend couldn't fight the tears that just kept flowing.

Your hands ran through his curls, scratching softly at the nape of his neck, something that usually always worked in calming him right down, only it wasn't working and you couldn't stand the way he was still freezing, you wanted to help him, you always helped him, you were at a loss as he cried this time though, you didn't know how to help.

"You're freezing." You murmured, his breath hitched at your statement and you had to move his head from its spot between your neck and shoulder, hands back on his cheeks.

Reluctantly you separated from him, fighting the urge to throw yourself back in his arms when he let out a panicked whimper, quickly you grabbed the throw blanket you kept on the armchair beside the couch and made your way back to Isaac's side, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders tightly and rubbing your hands up and down his arms softly, you tried your best to heat him up.

"I'm going to make you a hot drink, ok? Then we can talk- or watch a movie or just- yeah. I'll be back in a minute. I'm right in the kitchen if you need me." You fretted, kissing his forehead before rushing into the kitchen. Hot chocolate always cheered Isaac up, he'd once proclaimed that if he could only drink one beverage for the rest of his life it would be hot chocolate. You really needed a win with him tonight so with shaking hands you began making a cup of hot chocolate for your best friend. 

It got hard sometimes, staying strong when you saw him so broken, sometimes you wanted nothing more than to cry with him, let the pain you felt for him consume you, but you never did, not in front of him anyway. If there was one thing he hated more than himself being upset it was making you upset and you knew that, you knew that it you cried for him in his presence he'd be reluctant to confide in you in fear of upsetting you. You couldn't have that, he needed you and you needed to be there for him, even if it hurt.

So you took a deep breath and walked back to your living room, cup of hot chocolate in hand, relief flooded you when you noticed Isaac had stopped crying, he was still sniffling but the tears had ceased.

"Here bub." You placed the cup in his cold, shaky hands before returning to your place pressed against his side, "Thank you." 

His voice was scratchy and broken as he spoke, "Not just for the drink." He added on, voice merely a whisper.

Shaking your head you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, "You don't have to thank me for anything." You told him quietly, he'd never ever owe you anything and you wouldn't want him to ever think he did.

"But I want to." Isaac placed the cup on your coffee table and took both of your hands in his, "You're the only good thing I have left." His voice was certain and as steady as he could make it because as horrible as his experiences were, the thought of being able to collapse into you once it was over got him through it.

Without saying a word you rested your head against his shoulder and tightened your grip on his hands, holding them in your lap while you waited for him to continue.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."  Titling your head up at his words you let your lips press to his cheek, something you did often.

"Well, you don't ever have to worry about that because I'm not going anywhere." You reassured him, a smile rising on your face when his lips met your forehead.

You and Isaac were always affectionate with each other, from sharing beds at sleepovers to holding hands if one of you was anxious. Naturally, you were very touchy person and it played in your favor that your best friend craved physical affection. The two of you just worked.

And sure sometimes when he'd hug you from behind or when he'd absentmindedly play with your hair you wished that he was more than just your best friend. What you didn't know was that Isaac felt the same, every time he told you that he loved you he wanted you to know just how much he really meant it, let you know that the words ran way deeper than just your friendship. 

What made things difficult was trying to act none the wiser about Isaac's home life when his father would invite you over for dinners or movie nights, the same way he used to before he started using his youngest son as an emotional and physical punching bag. It was genius really, he kept up appearances and if you hadn't gotten the truth out of Isaac you probably wouldn't have guessed that his father was such a scumbag.

Tonight was one of those nights. Mr. Lahey invited you to stay for dinner when he noticed you studying with Isaac, helping him with chemistry, at the dining table. Not wanting to leave Isaac alone with the man for any longer than he absolutely had to be you had taken him up on his offer.

You even helped him make the meal, it was times like that you were extremely thankful for your acting skills.

Isaac's father sat at the head of the table while yourself and Isaac sat across from each other either side of the table.

"So (Y/n), d'you find yourself a boyfriend yet?" The older man asked you with a smile, "Dad-" Isaac chastised, his eyes wide and cheeks blushing a rose red.

"Um, no not yet." You answered, glancing at Isaac quickly before moving your gaze to his father, "How are things at the graveyard?" You asked sweetly, praying to God that he'd drop the topic of your love life. What were you supposed to say? "No I don't have a boyfriend but I am in love with your son who you're abusing you piece of shit."? 

Luckily, he didn't push on the subject any further, "It's been busy lately with all these animal attacks." 

"It's a mountain lion right?" You asked with interest, looking at Isaac now, the boy shrugged, letting out a chuckle at your curiosity, "That's what everyone's been saying."

"I heard from Scott McCall that it's some kind of wolf." You explained, finishing off your plate as Isaac raised an eyebrow, "You know McCall?" 

"Yeah, he sits next to me in homeroom, he's pretty nice. Anyway he said him and Stiles were out in the woods and he swears that he heard a wolf howling." You shot off, a million theories cooking up in your head as the words left your lips excitedly. You didn't miss the soft smile on Isaac's face as he listened to you talk so passionately.

The hearty chuckle of his father cut you off and you turned your head to look at him, "There hasn't been a wolf in California in over sixty years." He stated, standing from the table, collecting your plates and placing them in the sink before pointing to Isaac.

"Whatever it is, it got someone else last night so I need you to go down to the yard and start digging." Isaac only nodded, pushing himself up, "I'll walk (Y/n) home and then I'll head over." 

"Sure, you kids be careful out there." He replied superficially, letting out one last chuckle as he left the room completely.

"You ready to go, bubs?" You ask, grabbing your backpack and throwing it over your shoulder, "What?" You asked when you noticed Isaac hadn't moved but was instead looking at you with a quirked eyebrow and a fond smile, his arms crossed infront of his chest.

"You gonna be warm enough walking home in that?" He motioned towards your blouse and you threw your head back in frustration and grumbled, "No probably not."

"Wait here, I'll grab you something." He told you, pecking your cheek as he passed you.

It only took Isaac a minute to return to the kitchen, grey cardigan in hand, he loved that cardigan but in all honesty he loved it more when it was on you, which is why he picked it for you to wear on your walk home. Usually you forgot to give his clothes back to him when he'd leave you at your doorstep, which always led to you wearing it into school the next day, he absolutely loved when you wore his cardigans and his hoodies, the way the sleeves hung way past your wrists made you look so adorable to him and he had to stop himself from throwing his entire closet at you.

"Is that your favorite cardigan I see?" You questioned, a knowing smile on your face.

Isaac gave you a playful shrug, handing the cardigan to you and stating, "My favourite cardigan for my favorite girl." 

*

"Hey!" A whisper hissed from the desk behind you, glancing back you saw Stiles Stilinski leaning forward towards you, his entire upper half against his desk.

"Hi?" Your voice was uncertain as the boy with the buzzcut gave you a triumphant grin while Scott rolled his eyes from his seat beside you and infront of Stiles.

"You know Derek Hale right?" The question threw you off slightly, your family had been close with the Hale's before they'd all perished in the house fire six years ago, all except Derek- the prime suspect although you knew it couldn't have been him who set the house ablaze.

"Well, I knew him. He and Laura used to babysit me. I was friends with his younger sister too, back in elementary school." You answered Stiles' question, "Why?"

"Did he seem murder-y to you?" Stiles asked, ignoring your question while Scott let out a tired sigh at his best friend's antics. "No. He was sweet, they all were." You told him sternly, growing tired of his questions about people you would've considered your second family until the vast majority of them burned alive.

Scott's voice was softer than Stiles' when he leaned towards you, "He's uh back in town. We saw him at the Hale house yesterday. We were just wondering if you knew why he was here?" 

"Derek's in town?" You asked, eyes wide while Scott nodded in response, brown eyes searching yours for any kind of answer to his previous question. "I didn't even know he was back." Your voice was merely a murmur, you tried your best to digest this new information but all you could think about was how you needed to see him.

"If you're looking for him, I'll help you find him." You offered to the two boys who shared unsure looks causing you to release a sigh, "Come on you two, out of the three of us I'm the only one whose gonna get any answers out of him. He's not exactly welcoming to strangers." 

The words left you flatly and the two of them knew you were right, "Yeah you're right. We're going to stop by the house again after school you could meet us there?" Scott agreed, furrowing his brows as he watched you shake your head and scribble something down on the corner of your page, ripping it off, "I've got plans with Isaac after school today but I'll ask my parents if they know anything, they were really close with the Hale's." You explained, handing the scrap of paper with your phone number on it to Scott, "Give me your numbers so I can call you if I find out anything useful." Scott nodded gratefully, scribbling down his number on the side of his page the same way you had while Stiles just looked at you with a funny expression on his face, "Don't you hang out with Isaac like every day? Can't you just ditch him this once?" You let out a humorless chuckle, raising an eyebrow at the boy, "Would you ditch Scott?" 

Stiles grumbled something under his breath, finally seating himself back in his seat properly, defeated by your retort.

Stiles wasn't wrong, you did hang out with Isaac almost every day but you'd never once ditched him just as he never ditched you, you weren't going to change that for the sake of two boys that you barely knew.

You'd met Isaac during a dark period of your life, when the Hale fire happened and all the people you'd been raised around suddenly disappeared from your life, he'd been exactly what you needed and he continued to be that person who always made you feel like there was always something to hope for even if everything looked grim.

He was the living embodiment of surviving hardships, and although he'd never realize it, he was the reason you were able to pull yourself out of slumps and keep pushing forward even when you felt like the weight of the world was crushing your chest. One smile or word of encouragement from Isaac and all that weight would evaporate into nothing.

As the bell rang you wanted nothing more than to find the boy who occupied your thoughts and tell him about the information you'd just been given, you definitely needed a pick me up after finding out Derek was back in town and you hadn't even seen him.

So you set off, giving Scott a small smile before exiting the classroom and making your way into the busy hallway, starting your search for Isaac the second you entered the crowd.

[buffyversefanfiction]

Slayer of Slayers

Warnings:I do not own, nor do I claim to own any of the copyright or characters within the Buffyverse which includes but not limited to the television shows Buffy and Angel, as well as the Darkhorse comics series’ continuation.

15+ Strong to moderate violence, Graphic to mild descriptions of gore, and torture, sexually charged scenes, sexual innuendos, mild to strong language, and practices of witchcraft.

M/M, F/F, M/F, GEN, OTHER +

PART FOUR LINK HERE

Part Five - Parental Guidance Advised

Theo Frey, the slayer of slayers, was now a vampire, a vampire unlike any other before him, one that sired themselves, and along with his new undead status, he found his slayer strength, speed, and healing, was now matched with his vampire side making him even more powerful than ever before, all working towards Drusilla’s grand plans which were created after she had a vision of the vampire/slayer hybrid bringing about the end of days.

Drusilla and Theo traveled to the outskirts of New York, in the middle of nowhere, located deep within some woods, arriving at an abandoned asylum which Drusilla had claimed to be her home for many years now, the first place she took Theo after his parents died, the place in which Theo first met the love of his life, Tobias. “The future is a funny little thing not once did I see the death of my darling Tobias in any vision and now it’s the first and last thing, I see every day.” Drusilla sadly revealed to Theo, as the two walked down a hallway within the abandoned asylum late at night. “Well, it would have been good to get a whole heads up about becoming a vamp myself before it actually happened, but I guess I was not on a need-to-know basis with that one.” Theo slyly snapped at his fellow vampire. “It was you and Tobias who chose to go off on your own create your own paths and become number one targets for all slayers,” Drusilla replied. “Everything was meant to happen the way it was for you to become the best version of yourself, a version strong enough to kill your birth mother.” “Did Tobias always know? That I’d one day become a vampire?” Theo could not help but wonder, as he began to wonder whether falling for Tobias was all just a part of Drusilla’s plans. “No, he did not…you two were truly destined to love each other it is with great sadness that your love story with my beautiful Tobias has come to an end but sadly it does not surprise me either,” Drusilla revealed to him, before going on to say. “Buffy will stop at nothing to slay us all, yet where was she to slay the monsters who took the ones that raised you?” “Buffy and Angel will pay for abandoning me in fact I am already putting a plan into action for them both but let me make myself clear when I say I will not be waiting as long to take revenge for Tobias,” Theo promised her, much to Drusilla’s delight. “Now why do I still feel the same?” “Well, another little hitch has occurred it seems you still have your soul,” Drusilla answered him, both looking as shocked as the other. “I do not know why that pesky thing is still in place, but I am not worried about it, some of the biggest monsters in the world still have souls after all…now please do tell mummy what you have planned for other mummy and naughty daddy?”

After being M.I.A from the slayer world as well as her friends, loved ones, and all real-world connections, Buffy Summers had taken to a cabin in the woods, in the middle of nowhere, the perfect place to get lost and forget about the rest of the world, and for one whole year she had uninterrupted bliss as she attempted to get over the loss of her son, but as she sat on the steps of her cabin porch and felt a sudden change in the wind nearby, she knew her perfect isolation was about to be intruded and after a blast of lightning struck the nearby grounds it became abundantly clear that her best friend Willow had found her. “I told you not to come looking for me I told you when I was ready, I’d come looking for you,” Buffy told the red-headed witch after Willow appeared from out of the ripped air that the lightning strike had just caused. “But it is good to see you again Willow…I’ve missed you.” “We found him, Buffy…” Willow said with great sadness, knowing the story she was about to tell her friend would only cause her more hurt but also knowing she had to be the one who Buffy found out from. Willow sat Buffy back down on the porch, sitting next to her, and went on to tell her everything she knew about Buffy’s son Theo, the revelation that he was somehow a slayer like his mother, that he was seeing a vampire just like his mother, but that was where the similarities ended as she went on to talk about Theo hunting other slayers before being captured and possibly killed by Buffy’s former watcher Rupert Giles in self-defense. Willow made it clear that they had no idea who he was until it was too late, that despite not knowing who he was they fought hard for his redemption, and how she believed that despite it being unlikely, that Theo Frey had somehow survived and was still out there somewhere. She hugged Buffy as she cried, listened while she shouted, advised her while she tried to make sense of it all, and stayed with the blonde-haired slayer until she was ready to act towards the shocking revelations. “He’s been hiding in plain sight this whole time, living a life before our very eyes…god knows what he has been through, what I was not there to protect him from.” Buffy cried as she tried to come to terms with the news about her now fully grown son who was just born over a year ago. “And now he could be gone again…” “I have several covens working on locating him, Faith’s headed to Los Angeles to speak to Angel about it all and get him involved in finding him too,” Willow confessed to the slayer, trying to give her some positive news. “We are going to find him; I know he is still out there I just know it!” “Oh god, we told him his son was dead and now he might actually be.” Buffy realized as she felt the weight of lying to Angel for all this time.

Angel sat behind the desk in his office within the Hyperion Hotel looking through the books he had gathered through the years as he searched for information on the latest demon he and Illyria were hunting when he was surprised to hear the front door to the Hyperion Hotel being opened thanks to his advanced vampire hearing and so he rose out of his chair, grabbed a hold of a nearby knife and walked into the main foyer of the hotel where he was shocked to find Faith stood there waiting for him. “You can drop the weapon big man it's only little old me.” Faith said to the vampire with a soul, before the two walked into his office, as the slayer slowly began to prepare herself for telling Angel the truth, fearing it would change their friendship forever. “Thought you were held up at slayer rehab trying to mend the boy slayer’s broken ways,” Angel replied as he placed his knife back onto his desk table. “Do not tell me he’s already redeemed and ready to be put back into society.” “Far from it actually,” Faith answered nervously. “The thing about Theo is, well he kind of, sort of, turns out to be your long lost son, the miracle child you had with Buffy who we kind of told you was dead…there is no better way to say this than we kind of lost him through a portal last year and told you he died because well Connor…but he’s back all grown up just like Connor and sort of evil again like Connor.” “You guys told me he was dead, you told me he was dead!” Angel snapped at the one slayer he believed would never keep something from him, especially not something like this. “I help you capture him, we could have killed him, and all this time he was my son? How that hell is that even possible?” “Well, the good news is he wound up in the past and not a hell dimension.” Faith told the vampire reluctantly, feeling his fury over the lies that she helped tell, even if she believed it was for his best. “None of this is good Faith! You lied to me! You, Buffy, and Willow told me he died! I mourned the loss of my baby son, I blamed myself for not being enough to protect him, I blamed her.” Angel shouted in disbelief, infuriated to learn his son had been alive all this time. “Where is he now? Where is Theo?” “Okay do not get all murder and Angelus like on me but Giles sort of shot him multiple times then he swan dived out of a window into deep waters but hey on the plus side Willow is pretty sure he’s still alive…” Faith quickly responded, making sure she gave him all the information needed as she wished for this conversation, and for her friend’s anger, to come to an end, despite knowing this was only the beginning.

The several covens working on finding a location for Theo Frey through magical means had finally got some results, questionable results, as they informed Willow that the male slayer was in his hometown of Riverborn, of all places, Theo had headed home, and despite the gut feeling that this was most definitely some kind of trap, Willow revealed her covens’ findings to Buffy and the two best friends quickly headed for the Californian small town located rather close to their own hometown of Sunnydale, or where Sunnydale once stood. “This place is giving me all the wrong kind of Sunnydale vibes which only serves to convince me even further that we are walking straight into a trap,” Willow told her blonde-haired friend, as she and Buffy walked the streets of Riverborn, late at night, in search of the Frey family home, where Buffy’s son once lived. “I do not care if he wants to trap me or not the point is he wants us there which is a step in the right direction for me,” Buffy admitted to her, as the two stopped outside of an abandoned home, the tell-tale signs of its boarded windows, and the decaying build revealing it to be the former family home of Theo and his adoptive parents. “I hope this was a happy home to grow up in…I hope his life has not all been as twisted as the recent years we know about.” “Well, if it was not, it is not like I could have done anything, you know with the whole fact that I thought my son was dead this entire time.” Angel snapped at Buffy, appearing from behind the slayer and witch. “Angel…I can’t begin to apologize for everything I’ve put you through, that I forced Willow and Faith to put you through, so I’m not going to, not yet anyway.” Buffy told the vampire with which she shared a child, as his eyes never left the view of their son’s former home. Willow quickly informed Angel of the plan which she and Buffy had made while on their way to Riverborn, hoping to avoid as much awkwardness between the two as possible, as she revealed she would wait outside ready to cast any spells needed if Theo had not come alone so that the two could focus on trying to get through to their son, and after a few minutes of talking things through it was time to put their plans into action.

As Buffy and Angel walked through the front door of Theo’s family home and into the living room he once shared with his adoptive parents it became abundantly clear, by the photos in frames placed above a cozy fireplace, that the people who had raised their son truly loved him like he was their own, and for a brief moment, they found comfort in that knowledge, until their minds began to wonder what happened to them for this once loving home to become so empty and for their son to go down such a wicked path. “All I wanted for him was a normal life, a normal home, and to be safe,” Buffy told Angel as tears formed in her eyes, while the slayer and vampire moved into the kitchen where they found a sinister-looking Theo gleefully awaiting their arrival as he held a crossbow in his hands ready to fire at any given moment. “Before or after the monsters that you were supposed to slay took everything away from me.” Theo sarcastically replied to his mother, finally meeting her for the first time after all these years. “The blood-stained carpet in the living room is where I found my mother on my sixteenth birthday…oh the irony, and here is where I found my father.” “Theo I am so sorry!” Buffy cried, seeing nothing but hatred for her in her son’s eyes, beautiful eyes which he had gotten from Buffy’s mother, with his facial structure very much like Angel’s. “You seem different!” Angel stated to his son, realizing something had changed within him since the last time they met when he did not know Theo was his son. “So, the cat is clearly out of the bag about who I really am. That’s good it’s going to make this so much more enjoyable!” Theo declared revealing to them both that he knew exactly who they were and that he hated them more than anything else on this planet. “Theo, you have got to know I had no idea that you were even alive. I’d have stopped at nothing to find you otherwise.” Angel promised his son, hoping to explain his absence to Theo, that he was not to blame for not being in his life. “I thought I had lost you forever I had no clue where you wound up…I should’ve looked for you, but I hoped you were better off without me.” Buffy confessed as Theo kept the crossbow firmly pointing at both of his biological parents, seeming untouched by their words. “I do not want answers, you idiots.” Theo scoffed at them both. “Answers are what some lost boy looks for as he longs to be found but I’m no lost boy and I found myself a very long time ago. All I want is revenge!” Theo did not wait for either Buffy or Angel to reply before shooting two arrows in their direction, arrows which Angel managed to catch, one in each hand, before it made any damage towards him or Buffy as Theo quickly scurried out of the kitchen ready to play a game of hide and seek, a game he intended to not only win but to use as another trap for the two people he blamed for everything wrong in his life.

Angel took to the upstairs of Theo’s family home while Buffy went down to the basement, figuring if they took both options to where their son could have run to, then he would not be able to get away so easily, and as Angel reached the upstairs hallway, he found himself walking into Theo’s bedroom which looked like it had been kept the same way since he was last in it. Angel scoured the room where he found shelves filled with books, a desk filled with awards, and a picture by Theo’s bed of himself and a friend, which he did not know at the time was Ruby Moon, and as he continued to look around his son’s room he realized Theo once lived a happy life in this home, which is exactly why they were brought here because Theo blamed them for his happy life coming to an end. Although Angel’s search led to nowhere, Buffy’s search was going much better as she reached the bottom of the basement stairs to see Theo stood there, having ditched his crossbow, for a shiny blade. “I was hoping you’d be the one to find me first, mother and son, slayer versus slayer, you’re going to be my biggest kill.” Theo boasted to a horrified Buffy who was left unnerved by her son’s desire to kill her. “I do not want to fight you, Theo, you are my son and I love you,” Buffy replied cautiously, fearing she would have no choice but to go head-to-head with her own son. “I’m a vampire just like daddy now, did I forget to mention that? So, if you think you’re going to win against me then I have to tell you I’m a lot stronger than when I went up against your friends.” Theo confessed to a stunned Buffy, who realized her son had died before she even got a chance to meet him and at the hands of Giles, nonetheless. “You’re dead?” Buffy answered in complete shock, blaming herself for her son’s doomed fate. “But you still have a soul…” Angel announced as he appeared at the top of the basement stairs and began walking down towards Buffy and Theo. “I don’t know how it’s possible, how you are a vampire, and yet somehow you are still you but the fact that you’ve kept your soul is very much evidence that you are not as evil as you want us to believe.” “Or maybe my soul is so damned the devil himself does not want it?” Theo replied to his father, eager to debunk Angel’s theory about him. “I am the first vampire in history to ever sire himself I guess that means the rules are different for me and although there are two of you, I like my odds considering I am both vampire and slayer.” “I am not going to fight you!” Buffy repeated herself, refusing to lay hands on her son. “I will,” Angel stated before going on to say. “If I have to beat the good back into you then I will.” Theo charged towards Angel swinging his blade multiple times in his direction, Angel managing to avoid being cut before knocking the blade out of Theo’s hands leading to the two vampires going head-to-head in a brutal and bloody fight. Angel managed to hold his own against his son Theo for some time, but it was not long before Theo began to get the better of his father but not because of his new undead status but rather because Angel was holding back, and Buffy could see that, so as Theo threw his biological father to the floor Buffy rushed across the basement floor and picked up Theo’s knife. “Stop it now!” Buffy shouted at her son as she placed the knife against her son. “If you are so damned determined to kill your parents then start with me. “Buffy…” Angel muttered before being knocked out by a killer right hook punch by Theo, who left his father unconscious on the ground as he began to walk over towards his mother. “Do not think that I will not kill you right here right now!” Theo told Buffy as he placed his own hands on the blade pressed against Buffy’s chest. “Then do it! If it is going to make you happy then do it!” Buffy pleaded with her son as tears began to form in her eyes. “All I have ever wanted is your happiness…” Theo pushed the blade into Buffy’s chest ever so slightly, just enough force so she could feel the blade but not enough force to break the skin, and he stood there with a knife

to his mother’s chest for what felt like forever to Buffy but in likelihood was less than a minute, before Theo threw the blade to the ground, unable to kill his own mother. “I do not remember what happy feels like anymore,” Theo admitted honestly, his words making Buffy realize how truly broken he was, much to her own horror, and as he began walking up the stairs leaving both Buffy and Angel in the basement, Buffy could not help but feel responsible for her son’s fate, vowing to save him from himself even if it did lead to her own death.

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Recs: Epilogue Compliant

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 And the music plays bitter, plays sweet by Andithiel Rated:  Explicit Words:  2966 Tags:  Epilogue Compliant, Infidelity (Not Drarry), Angst, Minor Character Death Summary:  He doesn’t know why he does this to her, why he can’t leave Draco Malfoy be. After the first time he promised himself it wouldn’t happen again. For a long time it didn’t. But Draco had become an itch he needed to scratch; the memory of him rutting against Harry all consuming, making him lose focus, making him want another taste. And another. And another. Until all he could taste was Draco, on his tongue, on his skin, all around him, ever present. Never leaving. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 When Lady Luck Smiles by MarchnoGirl Rated:  Explicit Words:  7379 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Magizoologist Draco Malfoy, Veterinarian Draco Malfoy, Tanned Draco, Bacalar - Mexico, POV Draco Malfoy, Snarky Harry Potter, Awkward Flirting, Explicit Sexual Content, Dirty Thoughts, Beach Sex, Bickering, Anal Fingering, Draco and Harry speaks a bit of Spanish, Harry has no sense of fashion, Weird Dressing, Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, Divorced Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley, Past Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Fluff and Smut, Getting Back Together Summary:  Draco Malfoy is forty-five years old and is working his arse off in Bacalar, Mexico, trying to save turtles. He isn't still thinking about the stupid crush he had when he was nineteen, and he certainly doesn't blush till spontaneous combustion at the sight of Harry Potter stepping into his lab clutching a turtle to his chest. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Brief Encounter by maraudersaffair Rated:  Explicit Words:  45470 Tags: HP: Epilogue Compliant, Infidelity, Auror Harry Potter, Healer Draco Malfoy, Fatherhood, Coffee Shops, Slow Build, Pining, Bisexual Harry Potter, First Time, Angst Summary:  Harry was happy, goddammit; he’d gotten everything he wanted in life. Why then could he not stop thinking about Draco Malfoy? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Offering by Frayach Rated:  Mature Words:  1557 Tags: Major Character Death, Dark Harry Summary:  Draco's sole desire is to give himself up to something larger - and greater - than himself. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Liar by jad Rated:  Explicit Words:  50341 Tags: Bisexuality, UST, Denial, Angst, with a happy ending(I swear), D/s, Guilt, some more angst for good measure, Minor Character Death, off-stage suicide, Infidelity, (requested), kinda-sorta-dub-con, (if you squint), Canon Compliant, HP: Epilogue Compliant, (SERIOUSLY), (shocked me too), Complete Summary:  Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy always preferred the worst of each other; unfortunately, they had better halves. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Like Father, Like Son by Writcraft Rated:  Explicit Words:  8019 Tags: Angst, Infidelity, Age Difference, HP: Epilogue Compliant Summary:  Following Harry’s divorce from Ginny, Harry begins a secret relationship with Scorpius Malfoy. When Harry says the wrong thing to Scorpius however, it looks as though Harry has been keeping another secret and this is one secret which threatens to tear the relationship and a family apart. Part 1 of a two part series. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Since You Asked by Magnolia822 Rated:  Explicit Words:  18025 Tags: HP: Epilogue Compliant, Post Hogwarts AU, Older Characters, Coming Out, Companionable Snark, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Falling In Love, Divorced Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley, Starting Over, Pining Summary:  Newly retired Draco Malfoy writes an anonymous agony column for the Quibbler, for which he quickly gains a reputation for offering pithy, practical advice. His life is comfortably predictable until he receives a letter from a reader seeking a divorce from his wife of thirty years. The situation seems far too familiar . . . could the writer be the Savior himself? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 19 Years and 5 Minutes Later by TheMightyFlynn Rated:  Explicit Words:  202890 Tags: Infidelity, Dubious Consent That Rapidly Turns Into Very Enthusiastic Consent, Anal Sex, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Smut, Angst, Fluff Summary:  Five minutes after his happily-ever-after, Harry finds himself locked in the public loos with an angry Draco Malfoy and a need that he has denied for 19 years. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Fight or Flight? by Zzzara Rated:  Mature Words:  4637 Tags: Infidelity, Jealousy, Jealous Harry Potter, Cheating, Anger, Angry Harry Potter, Rage, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Heavy Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Drama, Betrayal, Suspicions, Jewelry, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Open to Interpretation, H/D Hurt!Fest 2020, H/D Hurt!Fest, Self Prompt, Fight or Flight, conan gray - Freeform, conan gray song inspired, Song Inspired, Hurt Fest, Hurt!Fest, Drarry, Disguise, Secret Identity, Identity Reveal, Heartbreak, Heartbroken Harry Potter Summary:  Something's gotten into you You don't really look at me the way you used to And I'm hoping it ain't true Every single rumour that I've heard of you say You were off with someone that I don't know Calling other people on your telephone Kinda wish I didn't know... ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Blind Leading the Blind by nqdonne Rated:  Explicit Words:  25186 Tags: Community: hd_worldcup, Harry Potter Next Generation, HP: Epilogue Compliant, Voyeurism, Sex Toys, Clubbing, Frottage, Desk Sex Summary:  Harry catches wise to a series of blind items in the Daily Prophet's gossip pages that sound suspiciously like him. Except no one knows that he's gay, do they? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Is Anybody Out There? by DeiStarr Rated:  Explicit Words:  65220 Tags: First Time, Gay Male Character, Male Slash, Slash, Male Homosexuality, Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, HP: Epilogue Compliant, Character Death, Minor Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Bisexual Male Character, Amnesia, First Love, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hogwarts, Post-Hogwarts, Memory Loss, Students, Auror Harry Summary:  When grief threatens to overwhelm Harry Potter, the only person who can pull him out of it is Draco Malfoy. Meanwhile Draco himself is drowning in secret guilt that nothing can overcome – or can it? This is a story about grief and guilt, with a side of lust and love. It goes back and forth between post-epilogue story and pre-epilogue, post-war, eighth-year-Hogwarts story. Also, Scorpius and Albus are comic relief. Epilogue compliant. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Homecoming by November Snowflake (novembersnow) Rated:  Explicit Words:  27211 Tags: Hogwarts, HP: Epilogue Compliant, Professors, Post-War, Divorce, Community: hd_worldcup Summary:  Harry thinks spending two weeks as a guest lecturer at Hogwarts will offer the perfect chance to get away from his troubles. Then he meets his assigned faculty guide: Potions Master Draco Malfoy. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Too Many Seconds in a Year by ringelchen Rated:  Explicit Words:  11920 Tags: Getting Together, Pining, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, Community: hp_goldenage, Harry Potter Epilogue Compliant, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Falling In Love, Weddings, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Summary:  After running away from their feelings for long enough, Harry and Draco finally come face to face again at their sons' wedding. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Predicting the Future (A Long Way Home) by teprometo Rated:  Explicit Words:  14845 Tags: Post-War, Canon Compliant, Depression Summary:  When Harry Potter dropped off his son at platform nine and three-quarters, he saw Draco Malfoy again. But more importantly, Draco saw him. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Wrong For Each Other by peilican (asebi) Rated:  Mature Words:  1000 Tags: Infidelity, HP: Epilogue Compliant Summary:  In the end, there wasn't really a choice. Because in the end, she was the one he loved. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 A Natural Conclusion by meshkol (ashernorton) Rated:  Explicit Words:  51562 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue Compliant, Blended family, Acquaintances to Friends to Lovers, Pansexual Harry Potter, Gay Draco Malfoy, Smut, Frottage, Anal Sex, Harry-centric, POC Harry Potter, Slow Burn, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Past Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Still Married, Marriage of Convenience, Relationship of Convenience, Unconventional Families, Alcohol Consumption by Adults, brief Harry/OMC - Freeform, Brief Draco/OMC, Consensual Aphrodisiac Use, Brief Scene of Racism/Racist Language, coming to terms with sexuality, Healthy Relationships, Hermione Granger & Draco Malfoy Friendship, Harry Potter & Blaise Zabini Friendship, Harry/Draco Big Bang 2018, Occasional Law/Politics Discussion, Community: harrydracobang, Hand Jobs Summary:  Harry’s happy with his life twenty-two years later. He has his job as the Head of the DMLE (albeit with a bit too much bureaucratic nonsense for his tastes), his not-really wife (and her incorrigibly charming shit of a boyfriend), and his three children (plus Scorpius Malfoy, who’s somehow become the fourth child in their brood). The only thing that’s missing is a partner, though not for a lack of trying on his part. However, the assignment of one case to Barrister Draco Malfoy – a polite and cordial acquaintance on the peripheral of Harry’s life – leads to a deep friendship and the slow realisation that the partner he’s been waiting his whole life for has been standing right in front of him all along. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 When 'Fuck' Means 'I Love You' by ringelchen Rated:  Explicit Words:  1916 Tags: PWP, Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Biting, Secret Relationship, Bottom Harry Potter, Top Draco Malfoy, Drarropoly 2.0 - A Drarry Game/Fest, Harry Potter Epilogue Compliant Summary:  They shouldn't be together. But as long as nobody finds out... ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 A Very Tipsy Christmas by Pineau_noir Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  1607 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue Compliant, I'm surprised too, Fluff, Humor, Christmas Fluff, Drunken Flirting, Draco gets drunk on Charlie Weasley's dragon-tamer strength hooch, background ginsey, too many family rules, canon book age, Married Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry/Draco Owlpost Fest 2020 Summary:  It's Draco's first Christmas at the Burrow as Harry's husband and he's vastly underestimated the amount of alcohol he will be offered. He makes a slight miscalculation and ends up drunk and hiding in a corner. Thankfully, Harry is there to save him. ❤️ Read on AO3

[hawkbucks]

Y’all like SteveTony? Good! So do I! Here are some of my absolute favorite fics ever written for the pairing. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do, and don’t forget to kudos and/or comment :D 

(There are so many soulmate fics here. So many.) 

All-Time Low by Sineala Rating: E Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 12060 Summary: Tony's lost his company to Obadiah Stane. He's lost it all: his money, his friends, his Avengers team... and his sobriety. Drunk, homeless, Tony is living on the streets, and when he runs out of liquor money, he sells the only thing he has left: his body. And one day, he has the exact wrong customer.

All That You Love, All That You Hate by laireshi  Rating: T Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Word Count: 25106 Summary: Director Stark is happily married to Steve Rogers. They have no secrets from each other, and quite a lot from the world—mainly that Steve Rogers is really The Captain, an infamous villain.

Unfortunately, the truly important secrets rarely stay hidden, and when Steve's identity gets revealed, Tony will do anything to keep them both safe.

He's a hero, but it might mean crossing a line that a villain would never even approach.

Amor Fati by citsiurtlanu Rating: T Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Word Count: 15712 Summary: Tony Stark has always known what the words on his wrist are supposed to lead to. What he's never known is who the words are for. 

Bereavement by nightwalker Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 3786 Summary: She sets her clipboard down on her lap and folds her hands over it. “I am very sorry for your loss, Agent Rogers.”   

colours by laireshi Rating: T Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Word Count: 1330 Summary: Steve draws in charcoal, sometimes thinking of how it would be to see colours. Everyone’s heard the legends, myths, stories; every person who’s found their soulmate has exclaimed in wonder, looking around. But it’s not something that could be described.

He doesn't see it for himself, not until he meets Iron Man. 

Convention Exclusive by Sineala Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 5545 Summary: "I'm interested in commissioning a sketch," Iron Man said. He leaned forward, edging into Steve's personal space, splaying his gauntleted hands on the table. "I'd like you to draw me wearing only a tiny thong, with Captain America staring at my nearly-naked body in horror."

(Or: Steve Rogers, former artist for the Captain America comics, is signing autographs at a comics convention when he meets his biggest fan. Not an AU.)

Dispel by faite, laireshi  Rating: T Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 3918 Summary: Steve is hit with a love spell, but he doesn't want it undone: he loves Tony and he's never been happier.  

Follow in Your Footsteps by Sineala  Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 6788 Summary: When Tony is twelve, his soulmate's name appears on his wrist. Unfortunately, it's hard to find out anything at all about Steve Rogers.It turns out there's a reason for that. 

for none of them would save him by laireshi  Rating: T Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Word Count: 3288 Summary: “I'm dead, in your timeline,” Tony said, not a question.

Steve shrugged, quiet and broken. “Everyone is.”

Hard Reset by Kiyaar Rating: T  Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Word Count: 8798 Summary: “You used me,” Steve says, like he expected better.

“What are you going to do about it?” is all Tony ends up saying, pathetic and petulant and tired, though Steve has only ever recognized it as arrogance.

“Now?” Steve says, as if there will be a later. “Now, I’m going to beat you bloody.”

Hide Your Love Away by Sineala Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 33514 Summary: Tony has suspected for a long time that the soulmark on his chest matches Steve's -- but he's never told Steve about it. And then it's too late to tell Steve anything at all ever again. In the wake of Steve's death, the Skrull invasion, and Norman Osborn's rise to power, the identity of his soulmate is just one of the many things Tony cuts out of his memory forever.

When Tony returns to consciousness, he's forced to deal with the aftermath of a war he no longer remembers fighting, not to mention a Steve Rogers who can barely stand to be in the same room with him. Surely the last thing Tony could ever need in his life is more amnesia. But that's what he gets. And Tony's new missing memory just might be the key to finding out the truth of his soulmark... as well as his chance to make things right once and for all.

Nothing Pure Enough by Sineala Rating: M Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Word Count: 2623 Summary: You shouldn't be able to develop a Hanahaki fixation on someone you've never met who's been dead for decades. But Tony has always been special.  

now that we have seen each other by Mizzy Rating: Gen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply  Word Count: 5235 Summary: Steve's crush on Iron Man seemed to him to be much more reasonable than his crush on Tony Stark. A meeting with some identical Avengers from another reality raises some important identity questions, though, and with their shattering revelations in tow, will Steve's heart survive this experience?

Secrets of a Successful Marriage by valtyr  Rating: M Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 24118 Summary: Tony Stark lives a double life; he's secretly the supervillain known as Iron Man. But his loving husband Steve has a few secrets of his own, as Tony is about to discover.  

Slipping off the Page into Your Hands by Sineala  Rating: M  Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply  Word Count: 68149 Summary: Soulmates have their first words to each other written on their wrists. This should make it easy. For Steve and Tony, it is anything but. Steve's problem is that the future he has awoken into is nothing he was ever expecting: he has a soulmate now. Who might be a robot. And if his soulmate is Iron Man, how can he be so attracted to Tony Stark? It should be impossible. Tony's problem is that he is Iron Man, his soulmate is a man whom he in no way deserves, and he is going to fight everything in his heart and do his best to make sure Steve never, ever finds out the whole truth.

The Truth of It Is by nightwalker Rating: Gen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 635 Summary: You can't lie to your soulmate, everyone knows that. Tony's always thought it was just hype until he tries to sass Steve and the words freeze in his throat.

Think of This as Solving Problems (That Should Never Have Occurred) by Sineala Rating: T  Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 35216  Summary: No one knows Tony is Iron Man. Then Tony gets amnesia, and literally no one knows Tony is Iron Man.

Fake It by laireshi Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 1159 Summary: “Is it true you and Captain America are dating?” the journalist asked.

Tony gave her his most charming smile. “Captain America likes to keep his life private,” he said. “But he knew who I was when he kissed me.” Another fake, wide smile. “We’re very happy.”

Veridicality by Sineala  Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 2480 Summary: When Steve is accidentally exposed to a truth serum, Tony learns that Steve has been keeping a lot of feelings hidden.

A Certain Affinity by miobambiino Rating: T Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Word Count: 14956 Summary: "They were like that a lot nowadays, ever since they got back from their little kidnapping escapade. Sure, they’d been close before then - they all had - but now… it was different. They were close, close. Squishing up next to each other, whispering to one another, playing with each others hair, apparently.

Steve inwardly grimaced at himself. He was being bitter and petty, he knew that. But he couldn’t figure out why, though. His teammates were getting along, which is only a good thing. Especially considering how they started things off way back on the helicarrier. But since when were Tony and Nat this cosy?"

Aka Steve is jealous of Tony and Nat's friendship, gets the wrong idea, and requires a little help from Nat herself to get some well-needed perspective.

And Then There’s You by someonelsesheart  Rating: T Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Word Count: 5933 Summary: And it’s funny that they’re like this, isn't it, because there's Tony, too-clever and too-fast, always having to be moving, selfish and desperate and cruel, and then there’s Steve with his kindness, his slow smile and his patience, selfless and calm and kind to everything and everyone. They’re fire and ice, good and bad, and somehow, somehow, it works.

Or, Steve Rogers teaches Tony Stark how to love, one year at a time.

Be No Stranger (All Your Saints and Soldiers Remix) by jibrailis Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 5973 Summary: That's the twenty-first century love song, baby. Glitz and glamour and every one of us is a liar.   

finding my way back to you by theappleppielifestyle Rating: Gen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 7266 Summary: Ten minutes after a botched attempt at proposing to Tony, Steve is thrown back in time.

Lost Together by FestiveFerret Rating: E Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 67977 Summary: Being trapped in a horrible world where some things are like home, and some things are terrifyingly not, is bad enough. But when it becomes clear that the people here come in pairs - and unpaired people are a threat - Steve and Tony are forced to pretend that they're a pair too, if they ever want to make it home alive.  

The Spaces (Silences) Between by missbecky Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 4159 Summary: A sudden accident leaves Tony unable to speak.

Thumb, Index, and Pinky Extended by Eudoxia  Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Word Count: 4848 Summary: Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.

A Thousand Kisses Deep by laireshi  Crossover Between: Earth-616 & Earth-1610 Rating: M Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply  Word Count: 3547 Summary: Steve doesn't seem too happy when Steve Rogers of Marvel Ultimate gets transported into their universe. He seems even less happy when Tony and the new Steve get closer to each other.

Imperfect Mirrors by Sineala Crossover Between: Earth-616 & Earth-199999 Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 9181 Summary: Two months since Ultron. Two hours since the mindwipe. Things haven't been going well for Tony Stark lately, in two different universes. But they just might be able to help each other out.

Did I forget a link? Did I link to the wrong story? Any other mistakes? Message me and I’ll fix it ASAP! 

Please read all tags for the stories I have linked! 

Happy reading! 

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1985

Under the cut.

Foreigner -- "I Want To Know What Love Is" -- February 2, 1985

One of the quintessential 80s power ballads. It's actually kind of interesting if you think about it enough. He's not in love yet, but he's gotten sick of not being in love, so he's asking someone he's in the pre-love stage with to show him. Though he's had "heartache and pain" before, and doesn't know if he can face it again. It's not consistent. I feel like it's a missed opportunity, but oh well. It's good enough for what it is.

Wham! -- "Careless Whisper" -- February 16, 1985

Oh my god I love the saxophone in this. The music throughout the song is so incredibly sexy. And this is the kind of song George Michael's voice was made for. He's totally capable of sounding both hot and in agony at the same time. I actually adore a whole lot of cheating songs -- mostly, though not exclusively, the tormented kind. Drama! Love! Sex! Angst! Gorgeous.

REO Speedwagon -- "Can't Fight This Feeling" -- March 9, 1985

<3. He keeps singing "r"s like a pirate, but he doesn't go as hard on the other consonants, so I'm good with it. Lyrically, this song sounds like it might be two songs mashed together. "What started out as friendship has grown stronger" or "my life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you." Well which is it? Except I've had that happen. I love this song.

Phil Collins -- "One More Night" -- March 30, 1985

This is a depressing heartbreak song without the saving grace of any of Phil Collins' neat drum stuff. Blah.

We Are the World -- April 13, 1985

Whoo boy. I was 8 when this came out. Obviously I loved it. All the kids loved it. Now, though... I'm sorry, but it's bad. Really bad. Many others have gone deeply into why it's bad. I feel acutely embarrassed listening to it, so I'm just running away from it as fast as possible. (Remember all those celebrities singing "Imagine" in their mansions in 2020? I blame this song for that.)

Madonna -- "Crazy For You" -- May 11, 1985

This is one of Madonna's most straightforward love songs. Maybe the most, period. This or "Cherish," and this is a better song. It's lovely. Like Olivia Newton-John, Madonna can act a song. (Unlike in most movies she's been in.) But what I'm thinking about now is learning in this article that her label wouldn't let Madonna release "Into the Groove" as a single. That song was huge. It was played on the radio all the time. If it had been released as a single, or maybe if Billboard had tracked songs then like it does today, it would have been a massive smash, definitely #1. "Into the Groove" is also the best song of her very early career. "Crazy for You" is good, but not nearly as special.

Simple Minds -- "Don't You Forget About Me" -- May 18, 1985

As I am "Gen X", I am supposed to deeply connect with The Breakfast Club. I was 8 years old when it came out. My life as a teenager was nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, like that movie. I didn't recognize any of the "types." I liked the movie when I saw it in college, mostly, but the whole sexual harassment turns into a relationship deal was not seen as cool any longer. The "jocks vs. nerds" thing also felt very dated. The school in the movie was bigger and richer than mine, but it's a fantasy.

Anyway, though I don't feel much about the movie, its breakout song was really good. It does speak to a real fear both in graduating high school and during young adult relationships. I haven't forgotten the people I knew in high school, as far as I know, but obviously they don't have the same importance to me any longer. I'm Facebook friends with a lot of them. And very much not with a couple who were the most important then, because we grew apart -- or blasted apart. One of the nicest girls I knew in high school thinks there's a war on Christmas. Another keeps trying to get me to join her MLM. One of my best friends became my first boyfriend, and I don't regret that, but it was also a semi-disaster. And others... we just have nothing to say to each other any longer.

So, Breakfast Club: I don't connect with at all. "Don't You Forget About Me": Speaks to something very real and timeless.

Wham! -- "Everything She Wants" -- May 25, 1985

What a dick. Songs in which the narrator is a colossal jerk are perfectly fine, of course, but this one gets under my skin. He's whining about his wife getting pregnant when she's dissatisfied with their life and that they're broke. As if it's something she chose to do to him. She's stuck creating a whole other person with her blood and flesh, and he thinks it's all and entirely about him. I really hate it.

Tears for Fears -- "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" -- June 8, 1985

I can't hear this song without thinking of this Baldur's Gate fan trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdd06d2nids. Speaking of which, I am incredibly excited for Baldur's Gate 3. I've been reading the early access reviews on Steam, and anything anyone is saying that's negative is stuff I don't gaf about (except bugs), whereas the positive stuff, I care about deeply. I hope it's got some of the feeling of that trailer. Um, right, Tears for Fears.

Honestly, though, it works best as a Baldur's Gate theme song. I don't think everybody actually wants to rule the world. It sounds good though. And pretty different from other stuff around it. But I like Lorde's cover better, and not just because it fits so wonderfully with all sorts of fantasy stories.

I usually play a paladin or paladin-type the first time in fantasy RPGs, but I'm thinking bard this time.

Bryan Adams -- "Heaven" -- June 22, 1985

He's been with this woman since they were young, and while they've broken up and gone through rough patches, now they're together forever and they're "in heaven." Bryan Adams knew exactly how to write a song that would become a hit. I used to not mind it at all, but it also means nothing to me. The chorus is catchy as hell though. So catchy that I ended up waking up with it in my head and it would not leave for hours and hours, so now I resent this song.

Phil Collins -- "Sussudio" -- July 6, 1985

I refuse to believe anyone ever told Phil Collins he was too young. He was born middle-aged. Anyway, the narrator isn't supposed to be him, so it's fine, but it's still kinda funny. He's got a crush on someone who doesn't even know his name, but "she's all I need all of my life." Um. The music is repetitive, the drums aren't as interesting as Phil Collins at his best, and I don't like the lyrics. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either.

Duran Duran -- "View to a Kill" -- July 13, 1985

I'm not sure I've ever heard this song before. It's about as good a song as the Bond movie they wrote it for was as a movie. In other words, it's bad. I'm not even sure there's a melody. Just a mess. "Ordinary World" would have made a far better Bond theme, but of course that was the 90s, when Duran Duran decided to try to make sense both lyrically and musically.

Paul Young -- "Every Time You Go Away" -- July 27, 1985

I like the high keyboard notes in this. They're sort of haunting. The rest of the song is musically pretty good, too. Lyrically though, it's only passable. This woman keeps leaving him every time "the leading man" shows up, so I guess he's the backup. Why does he keep waiting for her anyway? There's no hint in the song. I'm kind of embarrassed for him.

Tears for Fears -- "Shout" -- August 3, 1985

I think "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" is a better song than this one when done by Lorde. But I think "Shout" is a better song than Tears for Fears' original iteration of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." The chorus seems clear enough. But the verses are not. "They gave you life/ And in return you gave them hell" makes sense in isolation, but then there's a bunch of stuff that doesn't go with it. Like "I'd really love to break your heart" -- wtf? But the music is really good. 

Huey Lewis and the News -- "The Power of Love" -- August 24, 1985

This was the big song for Back to the Future, and it meshed beautifully with the movie, but it doesn't need that association to be a great song. "Don't need money, don't take fame/ Don't need no credit card to ride this train/ It's strong and it's sudden, it can be cruel sometimes/ But it might just save your life." Yep. It's sort of Motown, sort of rock, and I love it. (Also: "Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream." Heh.)

John Parr -- "St. Elmo's Fire" -- August 24, 1985

Of all the John Hughes movies I have not seen and do not plan to see, St. Elmo's Fire sure is one of them. The song is about a disabled man who inspired people by rolling himself cross-country in his wheelchair for charity, which has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. I'm disabled, and I just... okay look, what he did was admirable. But we shouldn't have to be inspirations to be counted as worthwhile, and I've been told I should die because I can't produce for capitalism, so you know. I've got some personal issues with this and I'm gonna move along.

Dire Straits -- "Money for Nothing" -- September 21, 1985

This is not Dire Straits' best song, but it's an awfully fun one. I watched the video tons when I was a kid. (That sound is Tipper Gore falling to the floor in a dead faint.) The music is great rock. And the lyrics are very true-to-life. You can either sanitize people or present them as they are honestly, and I know which I prefer.

Ready for the World -- "Oh Sheila" -- October 12, 1985

The band's from Michigan. The English accent at the beginning of the song is fake. That's a good preview for the song, which sounds like a 3rd-rate Prince knockoff at best. Blech.

a-ha -- "Take On Me" -- October 19, 1985

The video totally ripped off one of my aunts. Somehow or other, they saw into the little comic she drew for me about someone going into a land of drawings to rescue someone else in a romantic adventure, years before 1985. Anyway, this song is great musically, massively synthesizer heavy without sounding artificial. Though I can only understand maybe a third of the lyrics as he sings them. I've always understood "It's no better to be safe than sorry" though. Yep, at least when it comes to romance, which is what they're singing about here.

Whitney Houston -- "Saving All My Love for You" -- October 26, 1985

It's not better to be safe than sorry, but that doesn't mean it's good to be an absolute idiot in matters of romance either. Nor is it good to be a colossal jerk. That's what the narrator is here -- the "you" she's singing to is married. And he won't leave his wife and children, though he used to say he would. The lyrics seem to say that's she's accepted the situation, but the way Houston sings it, I think the narrator's trying to get him to leave his wife -- and children -- for her still. This makes sense, as it puts some kind of passion and sense of story into the song, which without Houston's singing would not be there. The narrator certainly never acknowledges that what she's doing is wrong in the slightest iota. This song could be done in a way that works. But it's a completely sincere ballad. So, no. I despise the narrator, I despise the man she's singing to more, and the whole thing leaves me feeling gross.

Stevie Wonder -- "Part Time Lover" -- November 2, 1985

No one's thinking anyone's gonna leave anyone in this one. It's about cheating, and the thrill of it, but then at the end, he's found out his wife's cheating on him too. "I guess that two can play the game/ Of part-time lovers." This kind of funk groove is one way you make a song like this. It makes the whole thing sexy and fun, and the lyrics also work even beyond that ending, because they acknowledge it's wrong.

Jon Hammer -- "Miami Vice Theme" -- November 9, 1985

My parents didn't watch Miami Vice. And then I never felt like watching it in re-runs when I got older. I don't recognize this song. It's an energetic instrumental, but there's so much going on, I keep trying to figure out if there's a main musical idea anywhere. Nope. Just lots and lots of synth. Headache-inducing.

Starship -- "We Built This City" -- November 16, 1985

Blech. This song sounds both unfinished and overproduced somehow. The chorus seems designed to be catchy with absolute ruthlessness by people who didn't really care, and no one involved even seems to want to bother to fake it.

Phil Collins & Marilyn Martin -- "Separate Lives" -- November 30, 1985

This is supposed to be heart-wrenchingly sad. Well, it does tank my dopamine, but that's not what a good sad song does. A good sad song makes you feel better. This one makes me need to turn on something high-energy after about 30 seconds, before I sink into bleakness. It's aggressively boring.

Mr. Mister -- "Broken Wings" -- December 7, 1985

This was one of the first songs I recorded from the radio. On my pink tape deck/radio that was a sort of a mini boom box. I've always had my own tape player since I can remember, but that was a definite upgrade from the Sesame Street one. I was 9 then, so getting more seriously into music and developing my own taste intentionally, rather than simply absorbing what was happening around me.

Anyway, the song. It's about a relationship in trouble, and he wants to stay with her. To me it sounds like she has been so seriously hurt (and not by him), that she can't trust anyone, and he's laying himself on the line for her. That has spoken to me deeply ever since I first heard the song as a child. Moving on to the music: While the lyrics are repetitive, the music is not, which is what makes the song so good. It's a beautiful song.

Lionel Richie -- "Say You, Say Me" -- December 21, 1985

I look forward to Lionel Richie no longer being on the charts. This song was on the soundtrack of some movie I've never heard of. I wish I'd never heard of the song. Totally artificial glop.

BEST OF 1985: "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds  WORST OF 1985: "We Built This City" by Starship

[phantom-le6]

Film Review - Justice League vs The Fatal Five

Hello all, and welcome to my first review on Tumblr in the wake of Facebook scrapping its Notes functionality, thereby forcing me to shift platforms (a practice I hope I won’t have to keep repeating).  To kick off my use of this new posting platform, I’m reviewing one of the two new films I got for Christmas, or rather the two films that are totally new to my collection; the other films I got were better copies of films I already own.  Anyway, we’re taking another dip into the world of DC Comics direct-to-home release animation with a look at Justice League vs The Fatal Five.

Before we get in the review itself, however, quick bit of house-keeping for anyone who hasn’t read one of my reviews before. The structure of my reviews is intro paragraph or two, a plot summary for anyone who has seen the film before and wants to refresh their memory, then the review itself.  The plot and the review are both clearly labelled, so to avoid spoilers just scroll past the section headed as ‘plot’ to the one labelled ‘review’.  Got all that? Ok, then here we go… 

Plot (adapted from Wikipedia):

In the 31st century, Mano, Tharok and Persuader of the Fatal Five attack the Legion of Super-Heroes' headquarters for their time sphere. Star Boy, Saturn Girl and Brainiac 5 try to keep them back but fail. Just as the villains activate the sphere, Star Boy leaps at them and is taken along. Arriving in the 21st century above Earth, Star Boy triggers a boobytrap Brainiac 5 programmed, trapping the villains inside the sphere in a stasis field. Star Boy comes down in Gotham City while the sphere ends up in Metropolis. Star Boy discovers his supply of medicine, needed to stabilize his mind, was destroyed in his rough landing. As his medicine doesn't exist yet, Star Boy's increasingly erratic behaviour gets him apprehended by Batman and taken to Arkham Asylum. The stasis-locked time machine is picked up by Superman and brought to the Justice League's headquarters for analysis. 

Ten months later, Jessica Cruz is struggling with the trauma of her near-death by a murderer who killed her friends, making her afraid to leave her apartment. To add to her anxiety, she has been chosen by a Green Lantern power ring and Wonder Woman keeps trying to recruit her into the Justice League. In Gotham, Miss Martian is trying to prove herself to Batman for membership in the League, but her inexperience works against her good intentions. While trying to unlock the secret of the strange sphere, Mister Terrific accidentally brings down the stasis field, freeing its occupants. Superman and Mister Terrific fight them, but Superman is wounded by Persuader's axe and the villains escape.

 Star Boy's memory is jogged by a news report of the fight, and he breaks out of Arkham. The Justice League members compare notes about these mysterious assailants and discover they are time travellers; and from Star Boy's words, Batman deduces that they are after Jessica. When the three villains attack Jessica, Star Boy comes to her rescue, followed by Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Mister Terrific, and Miss Martian, who force them into flight after a hard struggle. In the aftermath, Star Boy and Jessica form a close friendship based on the fact that both of them are struggling with their mental health.

To find out more about their guests from the future, Batman instructs Miss Martian to telepathically link them (Batman, Miss Martian and Jessica) with Star Boy's memories, thus learning about the Legion. They witness a battle between the Legion and the Fatal Five, which ended with the capture of Mano's lover Emerald Empress and Validus; as there was no prison that could hold them in the 31st century, the Legion took them to Oa in the 21st century. They also learn that if Star Boy misses more than two doses of his medication, it will cease to work and prevent him being in the Legion. 

Upon their awakening, the League receives an ultimatum from Mano: Surrender Jessica or all American cities will be destroyed by bombs created by Tharok. The first bombings start in Metropolis, forcing the Justice League to move out. Left behind with Star Boy in the Watchtower, Jessica is contacted by Tharok through her ring, forcing her to surrender herself to the Five and enable them entry to Oa's prison cells. Despite interference by Kilowog and Salaak, Emerald Empress and Validus are freed, and when Jessica fights back, Persuader cleaves her ring in two. Afterwards, Emerald Empress has her Emerald Eye of Ekron steal the energy of the Central Power Battery, and the Five return to Earth to recover the time sphere. 

In the meantime, Star Boy discovers Jessica's absence and informs the League. The heroes proceed to the time machine's location, a secret US military base, where the Fatal Five force them into battle. Emerald Empress subdues the Justice League and then initiates her master plan to use the Lantern's power to destroy Earth's sun, wipe out humanity, and thus prevent the formation of the Legion in their time. On Oa, Jessica recovers her faith and determination, and by reciting the Green Lantern oath, she reassembles her power ring. Brought back to her apartment by the ring, Jessica flies to the base and prevents the Fatal Five from escaping back to their own era by bringing the whole base down upon them, killing the supervillains. 

Superman, Jessica and Star Boy race after the Eye, but are too late to prevent it from plunging into the sun. As the star cracks apart, Star Boy sacrifices himself by lowering himself into the sun's core and using his powers to reverse the fracturing. In the final scene as the Justice League members commemorate Star Boy's heroism, they are joined by the Legion who have come from the future to honour their fallen comrade. Batman also grants Miss Martian admission into the League for her bravery.

Review:

This film is basically an original story not adapted from anything in particular, and although it is done in the style of the DC Animated Universe that originally revolved around the Batman, Superman and Justice League animated shows of the 1990’s and 2000’s, it is apparently meant to be a stand-alone narrative.  Cast-wise, we get back the like of Kevin Conroy, George Newbern and Susan Eisenberg to reprise their roles as the DC Trinity (Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman) from the Justice League animated series, and well-known voice actors like Kevin Michael Richardson and Tara Strong also feature in this production. 

In terms of character, we’re certainly getting a bit of a different Justice League line-up while also getting DC’s future team the Legion of Superheroes worked into the mix, primarily through the character of Star Boy and the film’s antagonists the Fatal Five.  In terms of the League itself, the customary League core that is the DC Trinity is in place, but then we have no Flash, Miss Martian in place of the better-known Martian Manhunter, and Mr Terrific to add to the team’s diversity in place of using Cyborg.  Finally, we have Jessica Cruz as the team’s Green Lantern, and it’s the use of her and Star Boy in this film that makes this film stand out from any other DC films, because both of these heroes are neurodiverse. 

As fans of more modern DC comics stories, or anyone who has looked into this film’s behind-the-scenes extras, will know, Star Boy is a schizophrenic, but by the 31st century there is medication to manage the behaviours that this form of neurodiversity can cause, so it’s not an uncommon idea among DC’s writers to show Star Boy getting trapped in our time without this medication.  During the Justice League era between Infinity Crisis and Final Crisis (not long before DC did its new 52 reboot and decided to stick to buying pre-2000 Marvel lore), the comics did in fact do this as part of the Legion coming back in time to bring back Wally West, the then-Flash who had become stuck in the Speed Force with his wife and children during the Infinity Crisis. 

By the same token, Jessica Cruz is a Green Lantern who has crippling anxiety following a traumatic event, so she’s having to use a lot of willpower to overcome that anxiety and function like anyone else.  Given that Green Lanterns are chosen based on their ability to overcome great fear, not only does it make a lot of sense for someone battling anxiety to be chosen as a Green Lantern, but it also very effectively demonstrates a much more positive and healthier take on mental illness in the world of superheroes. Granted, DC isn’t being particularly original in this regard; Iron Man’s alcoholism in the comics and his PTSD in the MCU show that Marvel has at least one heroic character that they’ve been willing to showcase as a positive example of what people can do despite being mentally different to others.  Sadly, neither company has yet done a good, positive, accurate take on autism yet, but then if they did, I’d have less fodder for my novel writing. 

Putting two neurodiverse heroes at the core of this film really makes it a great one to watch just because for once it means the neurodiverse characters aren’t the stereotypical crazed villain types and the idiotic stereotypes that stem from such misuse of the mentally divergent in fiction get combatted a little.  Granted, it would have been nicer if DC and WB could have demonstrated this kind of pro-mental health attitude in its live-action film wing by not making the Joker solo film and doing something more akin to this film in its place. There is no doubt in my mind that DC and WB need to put more of the staff behind their animated films on DCEU projects if it ever hopes to seriously compete with the MCU. 

Otherwise, the film is largely just a good diversion; well-animated, well-performed, but not a huge level of plot depth despite putting two neurodiverse characters front and centre on the side of the heroes. Hopefully going forward DC and WB can address that on some future film, either animated or live-action.  For now, I’m going to content myself by handing down a score of 9 out of 10.

[pinkmedusa6]

Burning Bridges

Pairing: Richie Tozier & Eddie Kaspbrak 

Read on AO3

An excerpt from this work: 

“Go back to sleep Rich. I’ll be back, I promise.” Eddie stumbles backwards and slips out the window. Soon the room settles into a lull like Eddie was never there to begin with.

The clock reads 3:35 am. Richie stays in his bed debating if he should get up and chase after Eddie but his consciousness makes the decision for him as he begins to fade into his dreams once again. Sleep overtakes him, thoughts of Eddie still swaying at the edge of his mind. Richie decides to talk to him in the morning. He will realize later that this was the worst decision of his life.Eddie 

Kaspbrak was never seen in Derry again.

Summary:  Richie is living the lonely life of a C-list comedian in LA until he suddenly is contacted by Mike Hanlon. 15 years after his disappearance Mike believes to have received a phone call from Eddie. The remaining Loser's return to Derry in search of answers and their missing friend. 

It had been a normal day for Richie Tozier. But that’s how all tragedy’s started, with normal days.

All seven members of the Losers Club sat along the bank of the quarry. The haze of a summer heat settling along the exposed edges of their skin. Beverly was skipping rocks along the water, trying to beat her record of 6 skips. Ben watched her like she was competing in an Olympic sport, the flick of her wrist catching his gaze. Bill, Mike, and Stan sat not far off, discussing amongst themselves.

Richie had taken to climbing up a nearby tree and hanging off one of the branches by the crook of his knees. While Eddie stood underneath him rattling off the possible injuries he could get by falling.

Richie was desperately trying to keep his glasses from sliding off his face as Eddie glared at him. “I’m not going to help you if you fall and bust your head open.”

“Aw would you still love me if I got brain damage Eds?” Richie grinned swinging carelessly back and forth.

“Don’t call me Eds. And you already have brain damage asshole.” Eddie huffed, crossing his arms across his chest.

“And you still love me! How sweet,” He threw Eddie a wink. Richie thought he saw a hint of red creep around Eddie’s cheeks but wasn’t sure if that was just his own blood rushing to his head.  

“That’s why we’re your friend, can’t let the poor kid with brain damage play by himself.” Stan called over, not even bothering to turn towards Richie.

“You wound me Staniel.” There was a grunt as Richie heaved himself up and began his decent down the tree. About a foot away from the ground he lost his grip and fell landing on his back with a small thud. He barked out laughter as Eddie ran to his side to make sure his skull hadn’t broken like an egg shell.

“B-by the way, what electives did everyone ch-chose for the semester?” Bill said fully ignoring the commotion taking place beside him.

A chorus of answers rang around the group, from Bev shouting home economics to Ben quietly mentioning a poetry class. Stan said photography and Richie remarked that his teacher would get tired of every picture being a bird. Eddie sat quietly in his spot beside Richie.  

“What about you Eddie?” Mike smiled over at Eddie. He had also stayed silent during the discussion, there wasn’t much to say about electives when you were home schooled.

Eddie fidgeted from where he was sitting on the ground. “Ok I’ll tell you guys but you have to promise not to mention it around my mom she’ll flip.” There was a collective nod, “I uh decided to go for track and field.”      

“That’s fantastic Eddie!” Bev said.

“You’ll do g-g-gr-ugh.” Bill closed his eyes in frustration before starting again. “You’ll do awesome, you have always been the fastest of us anyway.” Bill smiled along with the rest of the group. He was right, Eddie had always been the fastest of the Losers club even when he thought his asthma was real.

“Fast on the track and in the sack that’s what they say right?” Richie laughed as he was shoved by Eddie but he didn’t miss the distinct dimpled smile.

After finding out his mother had been lying to him for years about his asthma, as well as several other illnesses, Eddie had abandoned most of his placebos. Only when his mother was watching did he seem to keep up his act, not yet wanting to confront her. Richie felt a certain kind of pride bloom in his chest. The kind that had always been there but seemed to grow with each act Eddie did. Sonia was controlling and every step that Eddie took seemed to defy the tight grip she had on him. They were coming closer to the end of their high school days and Richie was excited for the future. A future he hoped contained a great deal of Eddie.

Richie knew the way he felt about Eddie differed greatly from his feelings towards the other loser’s. He didn’t stay up late at night thinking about the curve of Beverly’s legs nor did he leave lingering touches along Stan’s arms, those were exclusive to Eddie. Calling it love would make it too real. He called it a crush because crushes were soft fleeting things. Crushes were easy to get over you could skip from one to the next. Love was a hard rock that sat at the bottom of your stomach. Yet Richie could barely contain the tightening of his chest with the way each freckle stretched over Eddie’s cheeks as he smiled. Just a crush Richie reminded himself.  

The losers club continued their carefree summer day at the clubhouse, reveling in one another’s company. Richie felt at peace among his friends, he wondered if this is how all his friendships would be or if this was something special.

By the time four o’clock had rolled around it had become Richie’s favorite kind of day, one where after spending time with all the losers Richie was able to squeeze in an hour or two of alone time with Eddie. After departing from the clubhouse the duo arrived at Richie’s home, eventually landing on his bed to read comics and bicker over trivial topics.

It was Eddie who brought up the subject of college, “Are you still planning on going to UCLA?” The question threw Richie off guard, especially since they just finished a heated argument over who was the better superhero, Captain America or Iron Man. But now Eddie sat on the floor of Richie’s room, his back against the bed and staring at the posters on the wall. His eyes seemed like they were searching for an answer in the Rush poster hung up haphazardly above Richie’s desk, a fruitless effort.

“Well yeah, its step one in my plan on becoming a famous comedian,” Richie turned to Eddie from where he sat on his bed. His eyes were still trained on the poster but Richie caught a glimpse of some unnamed emotion flash across them. “You should come with. UCLA has like a million majors to choose from.” Richie tried to say it as casually as possible and not like he would trade his left arm just to have Eddie in the same state as him. This was not the first time he had brought it up but he still felt the same nervousness tug at his stomach, like it was an encoded proposal.

“Like my mom would ever agree to me moving across the country with Richie Tozier.” Eddie finally returned Richie’s gaze, a somber smile on his face.  

“You’re right. You’re mom would get too jealous.” Eddie groaned “Do you think I could get Mrs.K to come with me to UCLA? I’m not sure she could survive till winter break without me.” Eddie took the comic book in his lap and rolled it up before smacking Richie on the head with it. Richie laughed, a shit-eating grin spread wide across his face. Eddie wavered in his scowling, eventually laughing along with Richie. Soon both boys settled back down into a comfortable silence as they read their comic books.  

As the evening sun slipped into his room it basked Eddie in an otherworldly glow, Richie wanted to burn the image into his brain. He wanted to record Eddie as he was now and replay the scene over in his head until that’s all he could see. He was almost grateful when Eddie said he needed to leave, the tips of his fingers burned with the urge to touch. But Richie smiled and pushed those feelings away, a practice he had grown accustomed to.

Richie walked Eddie to his porch, leaning on the railing as Eddie began to walk down the steps. “When will I see you again Eddie my love?”

“Jesus can you just say my name normally for once?”

“For you? No way in hell Spaghetti man.” Richie was grinning, a common occurrence when he was with Eddie. And Eddie would huff and roll his eyes at Richie’s antics but there was always a smile that followed and Richie would always chase it.

“Well Bill wants us all to meet up at his house tomorrow, his aunt sent him a board game and it can play up to ten people so now we won’t have to fight over who goes first.” Eddie said, hopping off the last step of the porch and turning to face Richie.  

“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow when I show you my awe-inspiring board game skills.” Richie wore a cocky smile, it always gave him a special rush knowing exactly what buttons to push to rile Eddie up.

“Oh shut up you couldn’t even beat me at Clue.” Eddie crossed his arms, face already formed into a pout.

“Hey that’s not fair, you know I suck at those murder mystery games!”  

“Well it’s a mystery why I’m still friends with you” Eddie smirked as Richie let out a dramatic gasp, clutching his chest as if Eddie had shot him on the spot.

As he turned to leave down the driveway Richie shouted “see you tomorrow!” Eddie turned around briefly to wave at Richie before scurrying off towards his own house and out of Richie’s sight.                

           After dinner Richie went to bed peacefully, happy with how the day went. That was before he was awoken at 3:21 am.

           Richie was a heavy sleeper, he had always been since a young child. That night he did not hear a window creaking open or shoes shuffling on carpet, he wasn’t awake until a gentle hand began to stroke his hair. Even then Richie was still dancing between sleep and consciousness. He shifted, opening his eyes just barely only to close them again then repeating the process a few more times before comprehending that for a hand to touch his head it needed to be attached to a person that was presumably in his room. His eyes opened fully to see a dark figure standing over him.

           Shock would have set quickly into his veins if not for the hand still combing its way through his hair, daring him to sleep once again. He made a sound that was a mix between a grunt and a slurred “what”. The hand retracted as Richie grabbed his glasses off his night stand. While the figure was less blurry they were still just as dark and only after his eyes adjusted did Richie catch the face of the intruder. The sliver of moonlight peaking from behind the clouds illuminating just enough for recognition to kick in.

“Eddie?” Richie questioned, head feeling like it was stuffed with cotton.

Eddie jerked back slightly, his face still mostly shadows. Richie was having a hard time making the connections his brain needed to make. “Richie” Eddie said finally and if Richie were more lucid maybe he would have caught the distinct wetness Eddie’s voice carried. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Richie rubbed his eyes, “What are you doing here man?” He went to turn on his lamp but Eddie grabbed his wrist.

“No don’t.” Richie was taken aback “Sorry its just…“ There was hesitation in his voice and Richie started to wonder if this was a dream, it felt too weird to be reality. “I needed to see you.” There is another pause as Eddie let go of Richie’s wrist before kneeling down beside the bed. Richie felt the warmth of a hand on his cheek. “Richie I need you to listen carefully. I’m going to be gone for…“ he breathed in sharply “I- I’m not sure how long. But I promise you I will be back ok?”

“Eddie you’re not making any sense” Richie’s voice dripped with confusion as his gut started to tug at itself. This wasn’t the Eddie that Richie knew, this wasn’t the spitfire that always spoke his mind and was trustworthy to a fault. No this Eddie sounded uncertain and scared.

“I know, I’m sorry” Richie thinks he hears a sniffle, “I can’t….just remember I’ll be back Richie, please remember that.” Eddie leans forward and rests his head on Richie’s shoulder as he begins to shake.

Richie wraps his arms around Eddie, softly running his hand down his back. They stay like that for a moment and Richie starts to wonder again if this is an elaborate dream.

Eddie pulls back, “Richie I-“ he says it like something important is dancing on the tip of his tongue ready to dive, but he just shakes his head “I have to go” he slips away before Richie can protest. “Go back to sleep Rich. I’ll be back, I promise.” Eddie stumbles backwards and slips out the window. Soon the room settles into a lull like Eddie was never there to begin with.

The clock reads 3:35 am. Richie stays in his bed debating if he should get up and chase after Eddie but his consciousness makes the decision for him as he begins to fade into his dreams once again. Sleep overtakes him, thoughts of Eddie still swaying at the edge of his mind. Richie decides to talk to him in the morning. He will realize later that this was the worst decision of his life.

Eddie Kaspbrak was never seen in Derry again.

Thank you for reading! If you are interested please check out my AO3 as I probably won’t post anymore chapters on Tumblr. Feel free to leave comments and constructive criticism! 

[lcngview]

✈️ — ⌜park jimin, cismale, cis male⌟  ↝  have you heard ? it seems like the heir of the HAE was very close to Liam Yu too. they go by ISAAC and they were Liam's MUSE. their network is of 87M and they’re only TWENTY FOUR … what a burden it must be. i heard they can be very ENERGETIC and LIGHT-HEARTED but these last few months, their RESTLESS and EMOTIONAL personality has been showing more. the media is sure having a filled day with them! i hope this road trip with friends will help them. did you know that LATE NIGHTS AT THE DANCE STUDIO, NEW TATTOOS THAT HIS PARENTS CAN’T SEE,  A GRILLED CHEESE WITH TRUFFLE OIL AND HANGING OUT WITH THE FAMILY DOG DURING DINNER PARTIES really show their true persona ? maybe Liam was the only one who knew that.

hello my darlings!! i’m lis and this is my cinnamon roll isaac. he’s a old muse of mine that i’ve decided to repurpose so there’s still some random holes in his backstory i still have to figure out so pls excuse me. i’m kind of a hot mess all the time honestly but ily all already and im v excited to start writing with you! you can find me on discord ( *𝙡𝙞𝙨.#2158 ) or we can just chat on tumblr <3

oh also you can find isaac’s pinterest here! its not totally finished but u know.

basics.

name: isaac hae gender: cis male. age: twenty-four ( 24 ) sexuality: homosexual. birthday: december 14th. zodiac: sagittarius hometown: new york, ny.

physical.

faceclaim: park jimin. hair: naturally black, currently dyed and styled like this. eyes: brown. build: despite his small stature he has an athletic build with strong legs from dancing.

tattoos: [he has a few artsy ones mostly on his back and ribs where his parents can’t see them but i'm too lazy to list them rn, i’ll get to it eventually jfkjsbjk] height: 5′7″

languages: english, korean

+ traits: energetic, light-hearted - traits:  restless, emotional

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bio.

↳ isaac hae was born and raised in new york ctiy as the only child to two real estate developers turned luxury hotel owners in december 1996.

↳ his parents weren’t around much when he was growing up so he was raised mostly by the families butler Simon; as a result, isaac isn’t really all that close to his parents. to this day, despite having lived on his own for the past 6 years he still makes it a point to go to the family estate to see Simon when he can.

↳ isaac was around five when his parents began enrolling him in various afterschool activities; soccer, piano, tennis, archery, but he knew he had no interest in doing any of those things. he wanted to dance. after a few months of begging his mother gave in and enrolled him in a contemporary dance school. while his father was never silent about his dislike for his only son being interested in dance isaac never really cared, he barely saw his dad anyways.

↳ it didn’t take long after he started dancing for his teacher to notice his natural talent and isaac quickly became the most skilled dancer in his year, the competition trophies and metals quickly filling up the bookshelf in his bedroom.

↳ when isaac was around twelve his mom was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer almost out of the blue. this dropped a bomb on his relatively normal life up until that point. the next nine months were spent in and out of hospitals as his mom got treatment from the best doctors in the world. despite the fact that he was never all that close to her the fact that she was sick and not getting better made him rethink their relationship, she was his mom after all. 

↳ after his mom passed isaac spent the next few years throwing himself into dance more than usual while the relationship with his father quickly deteriorated. the only time his father made it a point to talk to his son was to ask about school and how the college search was going, only interested in the future reputation of the company his son would take over. 

↳ isaac eventually graduated high school and ran off to college, wanting to escape being under his father's thumb as quickly as possible. this was where he met liam. the older boy had wandered into the dance studio one day while isaac practiced for an upcoming showcase asking if he could watch and while he was confused at first he eventually agreed. 

↳ the first few times all liam did was sit in the corner and watch isaac while he practiced, only asking a few questions but not really speaking much beyond a greeting and saying goodbye. by the third or fourth time liam showed up at the studio he didn’t come empty-handed like normal, instead he had a sketchbook which he had immediately opened once isaac started dancing.

↳ it wasn’t until a few weeks had passed that isaac learned what liam had been doing, why he had continued coming to the studio even after that first time and was now sketching him. he had been painting isaac... and not just once either. after some coaxing liam eventually showed isaac the paintings.

↳ it was from that point on that liam and isaac developed an interesting relationship, anytime the older boy was feeling particularly uninspired he would come watch the younger one dance. isaac wasn’t totally sure what it was about his dancing that inspired liam but he didn’t ask, genuinely enjoying the company as he was usually alone in the studio at night. eventually the two became actual friends, keeping in touch even after liam had graduated. 

↳ the next few years isaac spent dancing and working towards his business degree (to appease his father and the board of directors) before eventually graduating and moving into one of the penthouse apartments owned by his father's company in downtown new york city. 

↳ despite being in the same city as liam (most of the time), with their crazy schedules it was difficult to see each other as often as either one of them would have liked. but liam still made a point to come to the studio to watch him dance when he had time. 

↳ currently isaac works for his dad and dances at a nearby studio whenever he’s not at work. 

tldr; isaac is just a dancing cinnamon with some parental issues spurring from his moms death and father just not being around. 

------

personality.

isaac can be a sassy little shit when he wants to be, typically always joking around and always in a good mood. it’s very rare to see this boy have an off day. despite this isaac has the most insane worth ethic which is why he is either practicing at the studio or working, rarely letting himself have any sort of off time (he prefers it this way tbh). at the end of the day isaac is really just a giant ball of sunshine wrapped up in a cinnamon roll. all he wants is to be your friend and make sure you feel loved. (he doesn’t always save a lot of that love for himself though asfjhg)

-------

headcanons.

↳ third generation korean-american, his grandparents moved to the states in the early 1960′s.

↳ despite being comfortable with his sexuality he hasn’t totally come out of the closet to his family and doesn’t see that happening anytime soon. outside of his friends, he tries to keep his sexual preferences on the down-low, not wanting the media to get wind of it. 

↳ is NOT a morning person, never was and probably never will be. the only time isaac doesn’t have his sunshine personality on full display is in the first couple hours after he wakes up so he makes it a point to avoid everyone until he feels more like himself.

↳ isaac is absolutely terrible about his phone. it’s always dead or broken (despite being able to buy a brand new one) and he almost prefers it that way. this boy always has at least 17 unread texts and 9 missed calls at all times. if you are trying to get in contact with him it’s best to just give up.

↳ while in college he did his best to keep his family's wealth a secret, not wanting people to look at him differently just because he had a large trust fund waiting for him. 

↳ it wasn’t until a couple years ago that isaac realized he had a crush on liam and it scared the crap out of him. almost immediately after he came to the realization he knew liam could never find out and shoved the feelings deep down. isaac valued their friendship too much to ruin it but now kind of regrets not saying anything now.

↳ the duality this boy possesses is almost comical. day to day he is just isaac, the ball of sunshine and happiness most people know him to be but the moment he steps into that dance studio he turns into a different person. he becomes the type of person you probably wouldn’t want to bring home to your parents. isaac can turn this side of him on and off like a switch though most of the time he doesn’t realize that he is even doing it in the first place.

[fireflywonder]

Rose Tyler Fanfic Rec

Fanfics where Rose Tyler is the main focus. A lot of them will also feature Rose being awesome and not some damsel in distress or a sidekick.

Ninth Doctor x Rose

Get Out Of My Dreams (And Into My TARDIS) by mayaspice

Rated: General

Usually, humans jump at the opportunity to travel with him. So, he's puzzled as to why Rose Tyler doesn't. If she were any other human, he'd be on his merry way, but there's something about Rose that makes him believe the universe (and maybe he) needs her. He takes it upon himself to find out why she's apprehensive about being his companion, and tries to convince her otherwise.

My Comments: This fanfic doesn’t really feel like a romance fanfic even though it’s tagged as one, but it’s brilliant. It’s so easy to get sucked into it which just shows how amazing the writing is. I won’t spoil, but I absolutely love Rose’s reasons for being hesitant and how the Doctor is forced to come to terms with it. You’ll probably end up re-reading this fanfic multiple times.

A Drop of Magic by dimensionhoppingrose

Rated: General

Their first meeting wasn't in the halls of the great castle, but in a dusty, forgotten corner of Flourish and Blotts. “Are you bored too?” He asked, and when she nodded he took her hand and said one word: “Run."

My Comments: A Harry Potter au that’s absolutely brilliant. There’s realistic struggles and the writing is amazing. I also love the friendship between Rose and Martha and the Doctor.

Tenth Doctor x Rose

Mr Smith and The Dinner Lady by lauraxtennant

Rated: General

Set during School Reunion - the Doctor has to contend with his class gossiping and asking inappropriate questions about the nature of his and Rose's relationship.

My Comments: I love this fanfic just for how intimidated the Doctor is by a bunch of teenagers. It also gives a nice glimpse into what the Doctor thinks of Rose who is just absolutely cheeky throughout the entire thing. It’s part of a series, but this is my favorite fic within it.

A Rose By Any Other Name by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel

Rated: Teen-Mature

In which Rose Tyler opens a fob watch, and discovers that she's the Master.

My Comments: Even when Rose Tyler turns out to be the Master there’s still a bit of Rose Tyler in them which makes it so much more interesting. It’s hilarious and the Doctor can never catch a break.

Generation 5000 by ofstormsandwolves

Rated: General

A changed Rose lands on a strange planet while trying to find her way back to the Doctor, and finds herself being 'processed' by a group of soldiers who want help winning a war. Is it just a distraction, or will it help lead her back to the Doctor?

My Comments: Bad wolf and dimension hopping Rose makes an appearance! I love how Rose’s powers are different than standard ones people give her. I don’t want to give much more away, but I love the dynamics between the Doctor and Rose and their progenation machine children.

Rubbish As A Human by HalfASlug

Rated: Teen

With the Family of Blood after him, the Doctor has no choice but to become human and hide himself in Edwardian Britain. Fortunately, Rose and Donna are there to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. Unfortunately, there is no one to stop them doing anything stupid.

My Comments: Donna is absolutely amazing in this and I love her friendship with Rose. Those two have to put up with so much in this fanfic and they’re just utterly done with John Smith (aka chameleon arch! Doctor). It’s a hilarious fanfic and it’s definitely different than the usual ‘Family of Blood’ fanfics.

Feeling Electric by ProfessorSpork

Rated: Fiction K

She walks into the comic book store, and everything changes. An AU story. / "No!" she insists, but she's grinning and bumping his shoulder and he has never, ever talked to anyone like this before.

My Comments: The author has the real world connect so neatly to the tv show which I absolutely love. There’s an explanation for everything from why the Doctor wears a pin striped suit to the hindrance caused by Madame de Pompadour. It’s all done in such a brilliant way. Also, the way the Doctor and Rose fall in love is just perfect and fits them so well. There is slight smut though so you have been warned.

Heavy on the Build Up by cereal

Rated: Teen

"I don’t think I’ll be seducing Queen Elizabeth at all," he said. "Do you? Don’t you fancy a bit of running instead? Maybe I could make a speech, tug on my earlobe a bit? I could use the sonic, too." 50th spoiler fix-it.

My Comments: The Doctor thinks he’s so suave, but in reality, not so much. The Doctor’s thought process in regards to Rose is hilarious and so him. Such a fun read.

Rose Stays by l-ouresdeLuna (facemyJam) (WIP)

Rated: Not Rated

When Rose saves the Earth from the Christmas Star Invasion, she unknowingly becomes The Defender of Earth. It sets her on a path not unlike the one the Doctor took, but without the vast knowledge of the Doctor, she's forced to seek alternate endings.

My Comments: Rose is so very human in this series and I love it. She isn’t given any power ups or anything. Rose only has her brain, her companions, and her gadgets to rely on. We get to see Rose truly shine while still holding onto her kindness. This is such a welcome change from the typical route writers take in regards to this trope.

Eleventh Doctor x Rose

More than words by Teekalin (WIP)

Rated: Teen

In the middle of rebooting the universe, the Doctor gets a brilliant idea. A mad but brilliant idea. He has found a way to bring Rose back to him. Now all he need to do is create a second Big Bang and everything should work. He can only hope she will recognise him in his new body.

My Comments: Be prepared for the slow burn, because wow. The Doctor does that and still doesn’t do anything? But the author does a good job of incorporating Rose into the story. Definitely worth reading.

the definition of 'forever' by everythingyouever

Rated: Teen

Amelia Pond looks on in wonder at the blue, smoking police-box that’s smashed her shed. She’s even more amazed when the doors are thrown open, and a blonde woman emerges in a halo of yellow-orange light.

The stranger grimly surveys her surroundings and the state of the box, before shouting back down, “You landed us better the last time you did this!”

My Comments: A nice little fix-it where nothing bad ever happens to Melody Pond, the Doctor was only a year late, and Donna still has her memory plus a bunch of other things. Also, Rose and the Doctor are still traveling together and making people wonder if they’re together. Should definitely read.

Doctor x Rose x Jack

The Wolf at the Door by surrexi

Rated: Teen

Bilis Manger's manipulation of the Cardiff rift allowed Rose Tyler to slip through a tiny hole in the universe and she was reunited with Captain Jack. Cardiff is safe and the Torchwood hub is quiet. But what happens when the Doctor and Martha make a pit stop?

My Comments: This is the second book in a series, but it’s way better than the first one. You can read the sequel without being lost, so you don’t need to bother with the first book. It features an adorable reunion between the Tenth Doctor and Rose along with Bad Wolf! Rose saving the day. Also, Doctor and Jack and Rose working through their relationship issues (but mainly the boys).

Something Fantastic by Haely_Potter

Rated: Not Rated

River meant to send the message to the Eleventh Doctor. We know what happened when the Tenth Doctor received it. But what if it went further back, to the Ninth Doctor? Silence in the Library and Forest of the Dead with Ninth Doctor, Rose and Jack.

My Comments: River Song keeps hinting at the future and Ninth is not having it. All her attempts fall flat. This fanfic also has Jack and the Doctor being protective over Rose, but she still manages to get into trouble and help save the day. I mainly love this fanfic just for the relationship dynamics between Jack, Rose, and the Doctor. They’re absolutely great together.

Multi-Doctor x Rose

Bending the Universe by Haely_Potter (WIP)

Rated: Teen

Separate AU one shots in Doctor Who 'verse

My Comments: It’s basically a series on all the different ways Rose could still exist within the Doctor’s life. They’re all very varied which makes it interesting and they show how the Doctor will always love Rose.

Ten and Rose elope and Eleven never marries River, but it's still canon-compliant. by TsukiKabanoki (WIP)

Rated: General

Yeah, I had this idea. I like angst, so most of it is probaby just the Doctor missing Rose or people finding out about her and all that.

My Comments: It’s a series that starts off with the Doctor finally telling Rose how he feels in ‘The Idiot’s Lantern’ and continues how it would in canon. Which makes everything so much more heartbreaking. But I absolutely love the raw emotions in the fanfics and how the Doctor could never stop loving Rose.

Things Change by wanderlust_and_rainbows

Rated: General

Post Parting of Ways, Rose Tyler becomes a little less human.

My Comments: Nothing is ever simple or easy in this fanfic, but the writing is absolutely stunning so you’ll keep reading even if it gets your heart broken. There is just so much depth and nothing is rushed when it comes to Rose. She gets so much character development and I absolutely recommend it. Just the dialogue and the realistic portrayal of relationships pulls you in. You’ll want to read it all in one sitting. Also, Jack is the best friend anyone could have in this.

Time Lines Diverge by valiantstorm

Rated: Teen

"I am the Bad Wolf, and I save Melody Pond."

Melody Pond isn't the only Pond who's met the Bad Wolf. Melody Pond, growing up like she should have, just add the big bad wolf and an immortal man. Oh, and don't forget the daft alien we all love.

My Comments: This is more Eleven x Rose than anything, but towards the end the Twelfth Doctor appears so there’s that. Rose gets to do some saving in this fanfic and travels with an immortal man and a young Pond she regularly kidnaps. Melody Pond is surprisingly likable and there’s just so much sass in her which makes you like her even more. Also, none of the past companions are forgotten which is all Rose’s doing. 

The Catastrophic History of You and Me by I Took the One Less Travelled

Rated: Teen

Every time she saved him, she dissolved into nothing and disappeared. It just got harder after he knew who she was. AU in which Rose scattered herself as Bad Wolf across the Doctor's timeline and saved his life hundreds of times before he even met her.

My Comments: During the time Rose Tyler held the vortex she saved the Doctor so many times. It’s basically a fix-it during the time the Tenth Doctor is without Rose, but I totally approve of the changes. Also, I love the amount of emotion the author has the Doctor show in regards to Rose. It makes it all so much more intense.

Certain Dark Things by ABadPlanWellExecuted (WIP)

Rated: Teen-Explicit

A collection of stories about Rose as she dimension-hops her way back to the Doctor. Not in any particular order, except the order in which they fall out of my head.

My Comments: This series dives into the things Rose had to endure while in the search for the Doctor and it’s so interesting. There are so many great moments in this story and I honestly can’t say anymore without spoiling.

Prolonging the Inevitable by Aeolist

Rated: Teen

She's with him everyday. He's with her once a week. -- "Fifty more years… That's eighteen thousand, two hundred and fifty days. It sounds like a lot, put that way. It's not. Not for me. But if I space it out, if I wait a week in between every one of your days, I could keep you for three hundred and fifty more years in my own timeline."

My Comments: This fanfiction actually explores the idea of Rose growing old with the Doctor which I rarely see. It’s so heartbreaking, but I still love it. It’s primarily focused on the Tenth Doctor and Rose, but the Eleventh Doctor does make an appearance.

Has Someone Been Peeking At My Christmas List? by Vampiyaa

Rated: General

Eleven/Rose sort of; Twelve/Rose; Part Eight of the Who Holidays series. When the Eleventh Doctor takes Rory and Amy home to Leadworth, they stumble upon a future version of the Doctor holding hands with a very pregnant Rose Tyler. Apparently, somebody has most definitely been peeking at his Christmas list. Set just after A Town Called Mercy.

My comments: Definitely a fluffy story, but it has a dash of angst. Definitely an enjoyable story to read.

No Rose Without a Thorn by morningsound15

Rose goes to sleep one night next to her husband, John Smith, the man she has loved for going on three years now, and wakes up the next morning face-to-face with a complete stranger.

She just about falls straight out of bed.

**

Or: Whenever the Doctor regenerates, his human double over in Pete’s World does, too.

They all try to deal with whatever that might mean.

My Comments: This was such an interesting read, because it’s a struggle on both parties. The Metacrisis is forced to change without warning and figure themselves out all over again. Rose on the other hand has to relearn them all over again. Neither can run away from this. I love the way the author explores all of this and it’s done in such a realistic way.

[coffeebased]

Hey! Wikathon na! I’ve started reading Relocations by Karen Tongson, about a third through now, but I had to take a little detour through Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir like I said I would. I’ve finished reading HtN but I’m not quite done experiencing it, so I’ll probably pick Relocations back up tomorrow.

But here’s what I read in July! What’s a segue?

1. Haikyu!! Volume 44 and 45 by Haruichi Furudate

A chance event triggered Shouyou Hinata’s love for volleyball. His club had no members, but somehow persevered and finally made it into its very first and final regular match of middle school, where it was steamrolled by Tobio Kageyama, a superstar player known as “King of the Court.”

Vowing revenge, Hinata applied to the Karasuno High School volleyball club… only to come face-to-face with his hated rival, Kageyama!

And with those two volumes, Haikyū has ended. I’m really glad that my cousin got me to catch up to the series because being a part of the sheer joy and love that’s poured out the fandom these past few months has been refreshing to my spirit. I enjoyed the way Furudate brought the series to its conclusion, by giving all the characters a future and room to grow. I hope to hear more from him in the upcoming years.

  2. Looking for Group by Alexis Hall

I read Looking for Group because I was reading up on Alexis Hall in anticipation of Boyfriend Material, which I will talk about later, and saw the synopsis:

So, yeah, I play Heroes of Legend, y’know, the MMO. I’m not like obsessed or addicted or anything. It’s just a game. Anyway, there was this girl in my guild who I really liked because she was funny and nerdy and a great healer. Of course, my mates thought it was hilarious I was into someone I’d met online. And they thought it was even more hilarious when she turned out to be a boy IRL. But the joke’s on them because I still really like him.

And now that we’re together, it’s going pretty well. Except sometimes I think Kit—that’s his name, sorry I didn’t mention that—spends way too much time in HoL. I know he has friends in the guild, but he has me now, and my friends, and everyone knows people you meet online aren’t real. I mean. Not Kit. Kit’s real. Obviously.

Oh, I’m Drew, by the way. This is sort of my story. About how I messed up some stuff and figured out some stuff. And fell in love and stuff.

And I knew that I had to read it. Immediately.

I enjoyed it way too much. The characters were adorable, the conflict was done well, the geeky gamer wrapper was AMAZING and the author never dropped the ball on integrating the online game into the narrative. It was very readable and I enjoyed the atmosphere of the book immensely. I also may have spent a heady week or so thinking of playing WoW, but I avoided that temptation. Made me miss uni too, and the way my friends and I would spend countless hours with each other.

  3. Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall

Wanted: One (fake) boyfriend Practically perfect in every way

Luc O’Donnell is tangentially–and reluctantly–famous. His rock star parents split when he was young, and the father he’s never met spent the next twenty years cruising in and out of rehab. Now that his dad’s making a comeback, Luc’s back in the public eye, and one compromising photo is enough to ruin everything.

To clean up his image, Luc has to find a nice, normal relationship…and Oliver Blackwood is as nice and normal as they come. He’s a barrister, an ethical vegetarian, and he’s never inspired a moment of scandal in his life. In other words: perfect boyfriend material. Unfortunately apart from being gay, single, and really, really in need of a date for a big event, Luc and Oliver have nothing in common. So they strike a deal to be publicity-friendly (fake) boyfriends until the dust has settled. Then they can go their separate ways and pretend it never happened.

But the thing about fake-dating is that it can feel a lot like real-dating. And that’s when you get used to someone. Start falling for them. Don’t ever want to let them go.

I came into this book with high expectations after Looking for Group, and my expectations were mostly met. The few issues I had were ultimately negligible, probably cultural differences or conventions of a genre that I’m not familiar with. The characters were strong, and I found the book funny. I know it sounds as though I’m damning it with faint praise, so I’ll say it plainly: it was an enjoyable read and I was totally invested in the romance. I think it’ll make a really good film as well.

4. The Subtweet by Vivek Shraya

Everyone talks about falling in love, but falling in friendship can be just as captivating. When Neela Devaki’s song is covered by internet-famous artist Rukmini, the two musicians meet and a transformative friendship begins. But as Rukmini’s star rises and Neela’s stagnates, jealousy and self-doubt creep in. With a single tweet, their friendship implodes, one career is destroyed, and the two women find themselves at the center of an internet firestorm.

Celebrated multidisciplinary artist Vivek Shraya’s second novel is a stirring examination of making art in the modern era, a love letter to brown women, an authentic glimpse into the music industry, and a nuanced exploration of the promise and peril of being seen.

If you’re a millennial and if you’ve ever had complicated friendships, this book will ring really true for most of it, I think. I kept wincing at the characters’ actions and “mistakes”, recognising them as things I or my friends have done, but there are portions of the story that I found inaccessible because Neela, the main character, just seems really opaque even when they’re the ones speaking. The music Shraya made as a companion to the book slaps and can be found here.

  5. Empowered 11 by Adam Warren

Costumed crimefighter Empowered finds herself the desperate prey of a maniacal supervillain whose godlike powers have turned an entire city of suprahumans against her.

Not good! Outnumbered and under siege, aided only by a hero’s ghost, can Emp survive the relentless onslaught long enough to free her enslaved teammates and loved ones, or is this–*gulp*–The End?

From comics overlord Adam Warren comes Empowered, the acclaimed sexy superhero comedy–except when it isn’t, as in this volume’s no-nonsense, wall-to-wall brawl guaranteed to bring tears to the eye and fists to the face!

Warren’s tying up a lot of loose ends and answering a lot of questions and I’m wondering if that means Empowered‘s ending soon. I haven’t seen any info regarding this, even though the words “The End” are right there in the summary, because comic books always lean on the whole the hero could die! thing, and more often than not they never do. But Emp has come so far in the past 11 volumes, and I think that she’s ready to confront a lot of the stuff that Warren’s only hinted at in the past. Most of Empowered is about how Emp deals with failure and how she rises above it, and recently it’s become about how other people have failed her, rather than how she has failed, and how she deserves better. I’m worried about her, but at least we are another volume’s worth of evidence for the Emp/Thugboy/Ninjette OT3.

  6. Sex and Vanity by Kevin Kwan

The iconic author of the bestselling phenomenon Crazy Rich Asians returns with a glittering tale of love and longing as a young woman finds herself torn between two worlds–the WASP establishment of her father’s family and George Zao, a man she is desperately trying to avoid falling in love with.

On her very first morning on the jewel-like island of Capri, Lucie Churchill sets eyes on George Zao and she instantly can’t stand him. She can’t stand it when he gallantly offers to trade hotel rooms with her so that she can have the view of the Tyrrhenian Sea, she can’t stand that he knows more about Curzio Malaparte than she does, and she really can’t stand it when he kisses her in the darkness of the ancient ruins of a Roman villa and they are caught by her snobbish, disapproving cousin, Charlotte. “Your mother is Chinese so it’s no surprise you’d be attracted to someone like him,” Charlotte teases. Daughter of an American-born-Chinese mother and blue-blooded New York father, Lucie has always sublimated the Asian side of herself in favor of the white side, and she adamantly denies having feelings for George. But several years later, when George unexpectedly appears in East Hampton where Lucie is weekending with her new fiancé, Lucie finds herself drawn to George again. Soon, Lucy is spinning a web of deceit that involves her family, her fiancé, the co-op board of her Fifth Avenue apartment, and ultimately herself as she tries mightily to deny George entry into her world–and her heart. Moving between summer playgrounds of privilege, peppered with decadent food and extravagant fashion, Sex and Vanity is a truly modern love story, a daring homage to A Room with a View, and a brilliantly funny comedy of manners set between two cultures.

This was the third romance novel I read in July, and that’s honestly the highest concentration of romance novel I’ve ever had in my life. I know that I’m supposed to find romance novels like super kilig and stuff, but so far I am just very anxious for romance novel protagonists all the time. I think that the whole thing about the romance novels I have read is that they’re mostly about how deeply anxious people learn how to allow themselves to be loved and that is tough! I wanted to protect Lucie all the time! I was Invested in her Welfare, and I don’t think I cared about Rachel Chu from Crazy Rich Asians half as much, even if you condensed all my attachment from the entire trilogy. Also, small spoiler, there is a hint that Sex and Vanity is in the same universe as Crazy Rich Asians, which I think is awesome.

  6. Trust Exercise by Susan Choi

Pulitzer Finalist Susan Choi’s narrative-upending novel about what happens when a first love between high school students is interrupted by the attentions of a charismatic teacher

In an American suburb in the early 1980s, students at a highly competitive performing arts high school struggle and thrive in a rarified bubble, ambitiously pursuing music, movement, Shakespeare, and, particularly, their acting classes. When within this striving “Brotherhood of the Arts,” two freshmen, David and Sarah, fall headlong into love, their passion does not go unnoticed—or untoyed with—by anyone, especially not by their charismatic acting teacher, Mr. Kingsley.

The outside world of family life and economic status, of academic pressure and of their future adult lives, fails to penetrate this school’s walls—until it does, in a shocking spiral of events that catapults the action forward in time and flips the premise upside-down. What the reader believes to have happened to David and Sarah and their friends is not entirely true—though it’s not false, either. It takes until the book’s stunning coda for the final piece of the puzzle to fall into place—revealing truths that will resonate long after the final sentence.

As captivating and tender as it is surprising, Trust Exercise will incite heated conversations about fiction and truth, friendships and loyalties, and will leave readers with wiser understandings of the true capacities of adolescents and of the powers and responsibilities of adults.

This is a book I could not stop reading and I felt gross after I finished it. I think that I enjoyed it and that the narrative flips were well-done and it was engaging, but Choi writes teenage trauma in 3D, and you can smell her scumbag characters. Very good will never read again unless looking to feel bad.

  Re-read:

Temeraire: His Majesty’s Dragon, Throne of Jade, Black Powder War, andEmpire of Ivory by Naomi Novik

Aerial combat brings a thrilling new dimension to the Napoleonic Wars as valiant warriors ride mighty fighting dragons, bred for size or speed. When HMS Reliant captures a French frigate and seizes the precious cargo, an unhatched dragon egg, fate sweeps Captain Will Laurence from his seafaring life into an uncertain future – and an unexpected kinship with a most extraordinary creature. Thrust into the rarified world of the Aerial Corps as master of the dragon Temeraire, he will face a crash course in the daring tactics of airborne battle. For as France’s own dragon-borne forces rally to breach British soil in Bonaparte’s boldest gambit, Laurence and Temeraire must soar into their own baptism of fire.

I started re-reading it because I wanted to introduce it to my girlfriend, and I outpaced her very quickly, and selfishly. She’s still at the beginning fourth of Throne of Jade, and I feel like I blinked and gulped down four of the books in quick succession. I had to stop myself after Empire, in a very belated effort to sync up to my gf’s progress. The series is amazing, and I don’t know if I’ll ever read one like Temeraire again. Being able to revisit it should be enough, really, because every time I do it’s as though I’m caught up in a strong and wonderful wind that fills me up with delight and awe. Novik’s starting a new series this September, and I hope it’s just as good.

    That’s it for July! I’m probably going to do two books at a time for my Wikathon posts, just to keep things fresh and current, so keep a weather eye out for those posts!

  July, next verse, same as the first Hey! Wikathon na! I've started reading Relocations by Karen Tongson, about a third through now, but I had to take a little detour through…

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Suicide and the Homestuck Epilogues

I don’t really want to make a super long post at this time. Turns out, I did so anyway! I don’t have too much to express on this topic that you might not have already figured out for yourself. But I feel like what there is to discuss about suicide in the epilogue is important, so it’ll do well to get this off my chest.   

One of the most serious themes in the epilogue, explored THOROUGHLY in Candy, is about the Will to Live. The will to move on with your life and see the next day.    This is disguised as a metaphysical battle with non-canonicity and irrelevance, but multiple characters in the epilogue have metaphorical and literal battles with their own hopelessness. Characters on the cliff-edge of suicide.   

These depictions of the characters caused an extreme reaction in the fans reading the story. It can be incredibly distressing to read something from perspective of a suicidal character, especially if you’ve been fighting that battle yourself. However it can be therapeutic if you read a story about someone actually discovering a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dim.  A fictional depiction that hits so hard, ending with a candle of hope, can flip a switch in your mind.  

Let’s get into the nitty gritty of how Homestuck both failed and succeeded at giving a light at the end of the tunnel.   

Skip to the end if you don’t want to read the whole thing - I’ve done a TL;DR.  

So there are five characters I would like to touch upon:

Dirk Tavros (jr) John Terezi Dave

All of these characters warrant discussion in the context of hopefulness and hopelessness.  

Dirk:

Dirk is the first character I want to get over with. Dirk’s an example of homestuck giving a hopeless ending to a character.

Despite Canon!Dirk’s struggles with his self worth, with the ideas that he’ll become a bad person, getting a nice enough resolution when he met Dave, epilogue!Dirk has lost that battle against himself due to means entirely out of his control. Because of how close the square root of Dirk is with “bad”, in the form of his prescratch self’s carelessnes and his offshoot connections to Doc Scratch, Dirk’s cursed with the inevitability of becoming that evil ultimate self no matter how hard he tries to be a good person.  

Dirk is not entirely evil. He’s lost his humanity but still clings to some memory. I’m pretty sure he kills John??? But he wouldn’t kill Dave, and I don’t think - no matter what he does to him - that Dirk would ever kill jake. 

Now, CANDY!Dirk. Candy!Dirk sees no point existing in a world where he cannot maintain canon relevance and seize the narrative. It would also be dangerous for him to continue existing in the world. 

But the way Dirk’s friends see his suicide, the way this is played out in Candy if you’re isolated from his shenanigans in Meat, is a very significant depiction of people struggling with a friend who killed themselves. 

There’s the critical failure from Meat in retroactively making this look like one of the best things Dirk could’ve done. Even if his friends led shitty lives, they led their own lives. But his friends in Candy don’t see it that way, and it wouldn’t be that way if Dirk didn’t become his ultself. As far as they believe. he maybe saw himself as a hopeless case and died.   

Because of Dirk’s death Dave in particular is dealing with a lot of feelings. He’d known Dirk as a better version of his really nasty bro-dad. Because of Dirk’s death, Dave feels deprived of his friend and family member, he feels like if Dirk had been alive he’d have taught him about love.  

I found this touching. Knowing how suicide impacts others can greatly affect a decision. Even Dirk, who was distant from all his friends and whose suicide protected them from his influence, ended up being missed for all the good things he could’ve given the world.  

So, all in all: Dirk’s relationship with suicide is depressing. It was better depicted in the comic, which had a hopeful resolution. This epilogue shits all over that. There’s still some important messages however, in that Dirk being alive would’ve given everyone very different lives, some ways for the better, some ways for the worse. Dirk’s existence is not meaningless.   

Talking of meaningless existence, let’s move on to....

Tavros:   

Nope, not John yet.  John’s going to take a lot of thinking. Let’s deal with baby Tavros.  

Tavros is not a depiction of a suicidal character. He is however a key player in the “hopelessness” of the Candy timeline. John sees Tavros, and his father Jake, as in a hopeless situation. Tavros and Jake’s changing situation influence’s Johns thoughts on his timeline at the end.   

Tavros is born into a world that is not canon, into one of the worst households imaginable where all the cards were held against him from the start. His name is fucking Tavros. That’s immediately dooming him to a life of being treaded on. Tavros lives with his mother, the domineering Jane Crocker, and her fuckclown, and while the other kids - Harry Anderson, Vriska - live spoilt happy childhoods, Tavros is never allowed to be a child expressing his individuality. What is his personality? It’s pretty much being a bit smart and doing exactly what he’s told.  

Tavros reminds me of a more muted Gohan in the Dragonball Z universe, if Goku was a fragile human dweeb instead of a saiyan and ChiChi became Space Hitler. If Gohan never got those tastes of freedom when fighting against the Saiyans, then he’d have no capacity to stand up to his mother. 

John fantasizes about helping him, and Tavros catches onto that fleeting fantasy, but it ends in disaster as Jade tries to reason with John that there’s no way he can keep Tavros safe, then John gets into a fit of rage and nearly injures him as well as all the other kids in the room. Tavros becomes scared of John.  

There’s something here about John seeing himself in little Tavvy. They’re nothing alike personality wise, but Tavros is John’s full blooded brother, and what he might have become like had he been brought up in a dysfunctional home.

At the end of the story, after years of this treatment has led to Tavros becoming a very passive boy who has an obsession with faygo, Jake finally makes the decision to leave his wife and go live with John. Even though Tavros is 15 and his personality or lack thereof is mostly realised, he’s given this spark of hope that maybe he will develop a bit of individuality. After all, John sees him as one of the most important, devastating consequences of the timeline, and somebody that he must help out.   

It is fitting that Tavros finds a record player at the end and put on some fun music, a self-expression of sorts.   

Right okay, time to get into the meaty part.   

 John and Terezi

There are some parts of these characters that I want to write about in isolation, but their relationship is the major distinguisher between their internal battles and, say, Dirk’s internal battle. John and Terezi are examples of two suicidal characters who interact with each other. The interactions between them cannot be isolated from their suicidal subtext, because they influence each other’s outlook on the world and their futures.    

I’m having difficulty, however, figuring out how to structure this part. There’s too much beef to get into if I’m going to discuss their histories.  So let’s try to make it brief:  

Terezi’s Context: Terezi has history as a character with suicidal subtext, especially in the Pre-Retcon universe.  She was overwrought with guilt and grief, became alienated from her all friends, spent all of her time either in the dreambubbles looking for vriska or unhealthily warrowing in her orrows in her abusive relationship with Gamzee. She then goes on what appears to be a suicide attack against Gamzee, wanting him to fight back.... until he does, at which point she tries to break free, indicating a will to live in there somewhere. In the pre-retcon Terezi finds herself having both a “hopeless” and a “hopeful” resolution. She dies by her own knife, under Aranea’s influence - yes, Terezi stabbing herself with the other half of the cane sword is ironic on like 12 levels - but in watching everybody else die, ABSOLUTELY REFUSES to fade away. Terezi is filled with determination, and will not rest until she sees to it that John’s on his way to fix everything. After this though she backs into her depression again. One of these Terezis tries to use her powers and does not see the effect. Even though she must’ve known there’d be a timeline where the effect hasnt happened yet she loses all self esteem and tells John to go leave her to die. The other Terezi, in seeing John return, is filled with a glimmer of faith and sends John off to follow her instructions.  I’m pretty sure the depressed didn’t die. The one who died in the chalk outline however walks sadly in paradox space, seemingly hopeless now her story’s ended, before reuniting with Vriska.    POST retcon Terezi has a plethora of self esteem issues, many of which were exposed by the knowledge of the pre retcon existing. In the body of A6A6I5 she’s chasing the idea that the other her had “figured out” all those self esteem issues, which we know to be false, and Terezi cannot connect with others properly despite being so good at reading them.  This lack of strong connections and lack of self esteem makes her feel a bit empty inside.   After remembering the pre retcon then seeing the vision of herself and Vriska reunite, Terezi decides to chase after Vriska, refusing to let her die against Lord English. But because of Furthest Ring shenanigans, she can’t find her.  

So Terezi ends Homestuck as a character with... not a whole lot of light in the tunnel, but there’s something there. That something takes the form of 

1. The hope that she’ll find Vriska some day 2. Her friendship with John, a growing connection with somebody other than Vriska.  

John Context:   

You know what? There isn’t a fucking lot! John throughout the majority of homestuck, completely opposite to Terezi and pretty much every other character, has NO SUICIDAL SUBTEXT WHATSOEVER. Hooray, no 500 word expository essay! It’s not until the CREDITS where John looks miserable.  

...John in the credits, now living on a peaceful new planet after focusing for 3 years on his sburb adventure, feels completely lost. Where his family and friends have met with the alternate versions of their parents, Dad Crocker isn’t actually John’s family, so that relationship doesn’t work as a surrogate for his lost dad.   John doesn’t know why he feels so empty inside and depressed, when his friends are trying to make him so happy. But as soon as he starts recieving messages from Caliborn you get an indication that John WANTS conflict. He wants to serve a purpose.  And the prologue of the epilogue (ha!) supports this.  

He’s captivated by Rose’s discussion of “canon”. Since he’s tied to canon, he feels some responsibility for preserving it. But Rose and Roxy’s reactions imply that John is about to go on a suicide mission. John laments that he’s spent so much time being depressed when he could’ve been enjoying life instead. This implies here that John wasn’t suicidally depressed at this stage, and he starts to lament how he hasn’t put his life back on track. 

So John, at this stage in the prologue, is a depiction of a hopeful AND hopeless character. However the hopelessness does not derive, yet, from any lack of will to live. It’s lamenting how he has so little time left.    This lament is still related to the discussion of suicide. John thinking of how much he’d miss out on if he left the world and died. So, altogether, John in the prologue is someone who has a light in the tunnel that someone else might sniff out. But that light might still shine on some readers who relate.  

CANDY: 

This is Terezi’s chronological start, and the “meat” of John’s suicidal subtext. 

As soon as John splits the world into Candy and decides to enjoy his life on Earth C, he begins trying to appreciate the world and get a taste of all the things that he thought he was going to lose out on had the suicide mission started.  However, things seem “off” to him.  He thinks Roxy is not in-character, Jade’s fucked up Davekat, Jane’s becoming a nazi, GAMZEE’S HERE which is an IMMEDIATE red flag, and everything is starting to go off the rails.   John wonders if this is all his fault. He sees everyone on earth C as not being themselves, as being almost like “NPCs”. They don’t have the same reactions to stuff as him. They don’t have the same feelings. Except for ONE person - Terezi, who is isolated from all these shenanigans and is the perfect venting post, giving John grounded feedback that he agrees with based on his previous knowledge of the kids.   This is not yet an interaction between two obviously suicidally depressed characters, but the idea of the world being “fabricated” and people acting “fake” is already here, and THIS is something a lot of people who have struggled with depression may be troubled by. The fuel to John’s theory is his position in an actual fictional world where the events are not canon, but even so, it’s still something real people go through.   

I think it’s worth pointing out that John and TZ are going off completely different time scales, emphasizing the disassociation they have with the timeline. John only feels grounded while talking to Terezi, who is stuck in the past. Terezi is seeing her friends grow up into crazy-ass adults without her.  

John’s depression escalates dramatically when he has a go at everyone on his son’s birthday party and nearly hurts the kids, then he felt like everybody hated him. This scene was powerful, but was also just like something out of a DBZ fic I read where everyone forgot Gohan’s birthday, he upset baby Goten (the only person who he felt unconditionally loved by), and then he goes to blow himself up somewhere. Yes, THAT scale of melodrama.   And John wants to float up into space, to leave the earth, maybe freeze up there. He is now suicidally depressed. He feels awful. It’s only going to get worse for the time being.  

After that point John turns to Terezi again and we find out she’s the same fucking way. Her journey to find Vriska, which looked to us at first to be cautiously optimistic. is a bit of a suicide mission itself. She does not intend to come back if she can’t complete the mission, even to pick up new supplies. Terezi is starving to death but she refused to return because she sees Earth C as a false paradise, a fake recreation of Alterna where everything is a bit too perfect and the people are too happy and she feels lost when she left the only route to happiness she can see behind in Sburb.  Turns out Remem8er didn’t so much give her a new perspective as it doubled the dependency she had on Vriska.  

John and Terezi connect with each other because of how they both see themselves as empty, and Earth C as empty, and John tries to appeal to Terezi’s need for friendship. He tries to get her to see the light side of living. But because he has hard time seeing it, he can’t express it.     He tries to help her get over vriska, by saying she deserves better companionship. This DOES plant a seed in Terezi’s mind, the idea that she’s wasted her life looking for someone who has been a shitlord to her.   

To an extent, they have been enabling each other’s depression. Seeing each other as the only “real” characters and discussing that idea, John going into how he thinks “everybody is already dead”, Terezi confirming other characters are acting strange and expressing how she hates the new world so much she’d rather die than return empty-handed, they’re lighting the fire to their own negativity. John’s in panic mode about losing the one outlet he has. And if anything’s made Terezi feel alienated from Earth it’s seeing how it is turning out.... But there’s not a lot John can do about this, because yknow, she feels the same way in Meat.    

This interaction between two suicidal characters has a positive and negative representation of dealing with those thoughts.  John’s begging Terezi to come back and forget about Vriska, which is a good thing, but Terezi’s too stubborn. She won’t budge. John has to traumatically read what may as well be her suicide message to him, further cementing his own issues. Bear in mind - because of her predicament, he has has been sidetracked from talking to her about his argument, and probably thinks he’s been a moron for venting to her about all of this while she’s been slowly dying in space.  Altogether I’d say this conversation veers towards absolute hopelessness, at least for those who have read Candy first and haven’t been spoiled on what happens to Terezi next. 

The next scene’s also retroactively hilarious, but that doesn’t stop it from being powerfully depressive.  John find the car with her “”””””blood”””””” and freaks out. 

In losing Terezi, who he saw as his one outlet to canon, John loses all of his composure. He is completely incapable of holding himself together any more.

Remember that DBZ fic I mentioned earlier where Gohan runs off and blows himself up with a suicidal tantrum? Yeah. It was a lot like this, but with rocks flying everywhere.   

John at this stage is at rock fucking bottom. He’s completely hopeless. 

Then 10 years pass. He’s been so depressed his wife and kid have left him. But... he’s still around.  Dave at one point thinks John’s going to kill himself, directly addressing this subtext, but John was actually talking to Karkat. Karkat’s position as a revolutionary leader, Dave’s caring for him, and John’s presence at Jade’s wedding to Dave despite having thrown a mega-tantrum that made him think they’d hate him forever, all of these things are........ starting to contradict John’s idea that the world is full of empty heartless people who don’t feel things. John has not been rejected by everybody.   

He accepts Terezi’s gone, and rips her picture into tiny pieces, letting them drift in the wind. This is the start of John’s progress away from his suicidal depression. 

He bumps into Vriska, has a go at her about Terezi, then Vriska does.. THAT with Gamzee. Gamzee’s death does restore some peace in the hearts of the viewers, at least. Not entirely relevant but I felt it was positive.  John’s been calling Vriska Jr shitty for all this time too, but she and Harry are alright characters who feel real enough to us as the reader. It’s now that we may be starting to question whether he was correct in writing off the world as his own bad fanfic. We’re questioning whether John is justified in hating Candyland as much as he does. If people care for him, if Karkat’s going to become Jesus, and if it birthed these two losers, then... is it so terrible? Maybe there’s hope?   

He bumps into Rose  who thanks him for everything he’s done. Rose is SO IMPORTANT here because she was the one who planted the idea he was in a fake world to begin with, and now she’s telling him even though it’s not canon, she feels happier than ever COULD in the canon world. John’s wishy washy on this. When he talks to Rose he feels optimistic, but when he gets back to his house, he’s thinking about how she just confirmed nothing matters at all.

At his house, he has a couple of surprise intruders. Turns out Jake discovered free will. John has some real talk with him. And while he’s at first negative, Jake’s infectious mood and the opportunity to give Tavros the life he deserves gives John that little push of motivation he needs to go speak to Roxy.   

His chat with Roxy is the climax of Candy!John’s arc. She gives us, for the first time, a third-person perspective of depressed John. We see him how she sees him, a sad little man who appears to be blaming outside forces for problems that he isn’t willing to confront himself.

She TEARS DOWN his perception that the world is fake. She explains why she may have seemed fake and why he was a fucking fool for thinking so. She says she doesn’t CARE whether it’s canon or not, because she knows a bit of how it would’ve gone down, and it would not have been good for John or Rose.  Roxy throws a great big surprise on us as the reader - she’s been dealing with gender dysphoria the whole time and overcompensating for it! Holy fuck!!! Our minds have just been blown!!!!

So the audience, and John, who have for this whole time been feeding into this depressing idea that the world is fake and it’s probably better for John to be dead than in this fake life, that everything is terrible.... Roxy’s rant makes us do one of the most amazing double-takes I’ve seen a story throw. 

John..... sees light for the first time in years.   He decides to take the step to work on his relationship with his family. 

And then it ends.  

All of this - Rose, the wedding, the kids, Jake and Tavros, Roxy - The way these make us revise our perspective on John’s depression is one of the most hopeful representations I have ever seen in media.  An AMAZING turnaround for a suicidal character. They made us hyper-invested in all the bad things John’s feeling, taking advantage of our awareness he’s correct in thinking it’s fake.  Taking advantage of all the nasty thought that may have crossed in our minds about the world not being real, about people acting not real, the little cells we build ourselves into...... and opening the door to a wide world with people who have had a lot going on that we’ve been blinding ourselves to.   

Roxy going into how we have our whole lives ahead of us and countless years to fuck up, to discover new things, breaking down how John and Terezi think that because they hadn’t figured things out as young people they were never going to be happy....  

Candy!John is an overwhelming success. Fucking KUDOS to the writers for this representation.  But to get there, you have to slog through the entire thing. And there is a risk that maybe you relate to his depression, but not to how he saw through his depression. That would be for yourself to confront.  For me personally, I honestly feel that this has given me a refreshing outlook.  It makes me so happy to be writing about John’s turnaround after all of this analysis of his depression.    

...Okay, fun’s over. Now to the depressing ending. The point where the epilogue kind of fucked up.   

MEAT: 

It’d be unfair for me to make you read through this with the bias that Meat is an entirely depressing resolution for two characters struggling with suicidal depression. There’s much that Meat gets right with John and Terezi. I think, however, it trips at the finish line.  But how badly it tripped depends on whether you think the comic falls into the trap of suicidal depression, or just about subverts it

Let’s get into it!  

John for the start of Meat is contemplating how he’s just launched himself into a bit of a suicide mission. Roxy and Calliope walk away without giving him a hug, which is... upsetting. Not sure why, if they knew he was going to die??? Legitimately makes me angry that this happened. But going back to the point - John is isolated in his fate. He does not have any friends he knows to back him up. He’s leaving the fake fake Earth C for good.   John leaves notes behind for his friends. These will never be read.  

Ouch. Off to a rough start already. This has the makings of an angst fic by itself.  

When he’s fighting Lord English with all these other versions of his friends, he’s actually having a bit of fun. But all his friends die and you get the impression he’s very very doomed. And he gets bitten by the tooth, etc. Oh and Davepeta performs a suicide attack! Holy fuck, forgot about that! But there’s no suicidal subtext, Davepeta’s just being a martyr, so nothing interesting to dissect here.  

AFTER the fight with Lord English:   John just floats in space. He’s seemingly hopeless. He does not take any action to help himself, having sensed he’s got nothing to back to. But PART of this is the influence of Dirk Strider, planting thoughts in his head. Dirk wants John to stay there, until he finds Terezi.  But John does challenge the depressing thoughts Dirk’s putting into his head:

Dirk’s relationship with John and Terezi’s depression has increased importance in the end chapters, but for now, it looks like he’s trying to get them to reunite. Is Dirk actually feeding their emotional dependence on each other? Even though we know they still have that dependence isolated from his influence, I get the impression he’s trying to make things unhealthy.  

 Either way, John has no willpower to go ANYWHERE until he finds her. John for these two chapters is drifting aimlessly, hopelessly. He’s signing himself off for martyr death.    

Terezi finding John has equal meaning - she was willing to die until she bumped into him. 

A mixed interpretation so far of the suicidal depression. They were both waiting to die, but the way John was going to die was so abstract that it doesn’t feel as impactful as when he was depressed in Candyland. I think this would’ve had a weaker impact on the viewership. But the moment he finds Terezi, it becomes a hopeful interpretation, and remains that way for the next few chapters. 

On Meat 28 and Meat 31, they spend these chapters dealing with their suicidal depression, in particularly Terezi’s. She’s directly confronting all of those emotions, with a person she cares about that she thought she’d never see again. Terezi is still incapable of letting go. She’s still starving to death out here and refuses to return, but... she doesn’t want John to leave either. She wants him to stay.  Terezi is being very foolish here, and it’s unknown how much the decision to stay escalated John’s death. It’s notable that John would rather stay here with her than go back to Earth for backup or healing, or drag her back kicking and screaming.   

They’re still on the edge. They’re at what we assume to be their low point and don’t think anything matters, and they have little self preservation... but because they care about each other, John gets motivation to go back to Earth with Terezi, and she becomes concerned about his failing health.  

John continues trying to get through to Terezi and convince her to go back. The below conversations takes place:   

John sees hope in Terezi, because she gave him hope when he thought nothing could get worse. He values the hardass attitude she brings to the table, kicking everybody else back into gear. John thinks several times through the epilogue that if Terezi was on Earth, she would’ve stopped everyone from falling apart.  

I think this is relevant because the scene in GAME OVER itself is an example of the characters finding shining hope and determination even when the narrative forces have taken a hard dump on them. It’s an important reminder here when John and Terezi are deciding whether they want to live or not.   

And here’s my favourite part of the entire conversation: 

John has now given TWO examples of Terezi fighting on when she just wanted to give up. And the relationship this has with the reader is Terezi’s acts of self preservation are indicators that maybe she does want to live? If she wanted to die, why would she eat fucking shaving cream--- okay maybe yes most people who want to die would try that, but in this situation she’s crazy and thinks it tastes like cream.   

Because John’s giving Terezi reasons to live, she gives him an opportunity to live by performing some haphazard surgery and removing the tooth embedded in his body.  

Following this, they realise their connection to each other, and consummate their relationship... in the back of his dads car.   

Hooray, you cry! Terezi and John have found reasons to live - they care about each other, and as each wants the other to live, they want to survive so as not to disappoint. They’re able to connect with each other in ways they can’t connect with other characters.  

AT THIS STAGE, this has an... optimistic outlook. Terezi letting go of Vriska is very very important. But you might be noticing she’s latching onto John. If it was left like this, and they went back to earth and fell in love or whatever, it might have been a happy enough resolution for two depressed characters. Not as RAW as Candy!John, but Terezi’s been through enough already that it might have been as impactful. And John’s finally getting what he wanted all throughout Candy. Cliche... but happy days. If they could’ve overcome their depression it, would’ve been fine.    

.....

And then Meat 35 happens. 

Soon as Dirk takes the narrative back he decides to start killing John with LE poison inside his body.  John fucking dies in the middle of a love confession.  

Oof!!!  Well there goes any hope for John’s depression arc. But at least he was happy and canon when he died. It wasn’t as deep as Candy’s anyway, and we were expecting it. John’s death does NOT feel like a suicide, because he wants to live. So Meat!John is a mixed result for a suicidally depressed character; someone who was suicidal, but then found the will to live, and then had his life tragically taken from him.    

Terezi though, Terezi who I wrote a 500 word paragraph INTRODUCING the context of her suicidal depression story, is now left with absolutely nothing. Because she had done a rebound away from dependency on Vriska, and now latched onto John, Terezi doesn’t know what she’s doing on earth. Her perspective hasn’t changed and she still thinks it’s very fake. She feels like all of her friends are embroiled in social dynamics and petty fights that exclude her. She feels like she can’t confide in anyone about the traumatic shit that she’s been through, including John’s death.   

At least, that is how Dirk wants her to feel.  

Terezi has a history of challenging the narrative. She rewrote the timeline with the retcons, but before then, Terezi’s spoken to people who have tried to write narrative prompts in her head. In this act of defiance, Terezi calls out Dirk for being full of shit when he tries to go into how depressed she’s feeling. 

This challenge, though weak because we know Dirk’s right on the money, ends up turning this confrontation from a fully depressing one into dark comedy, not ENTIRELY unlike the scene in Candy where John’s crying over her... stains. Because Homestuck is dealing with a hopeless case, it can’t just END it like that. Terezi, despite feeling that way, refuses to allow herself to be seen as completely hopeless and gets mad at the author for reading into her like that. This is getting metatextual but the self-awareness in this conversation is an important reminder to the reader that this ultimately a story, and maybe Terezi isn’t as hopeless as Dirk’s making her out to be.  

Of course, Dirk tells her that she can put an act on her whole life, and never be happy. Terezi... agrees with him, insofar as we know. Despite her challenge, she gives up on living with the Earth kids, joining the villain to create a new sburb session. 

Terezi’s conversation with Roxy was dysmally depressing. However, Roxy was thinking about her and trying to get through to her. Roxy seeing through Terezi’s feelings makes me think if she’d stayed on Earth, they would’ve become friends of some kind?  That would’ve been a light at the end of the tunnel. If Terezi had showed Roxy that John had died, that’d have been a massive step. But Terezi chooses isolation, leaving the planet for a new, more canonically relevant adventure.   

This scene does make it seem utterly hopeless for Terezi, especially when Callie says later that while John may theoretically be revived, he will never be relevant again. So while Terezi continues to be relevant, she’ll be isolated from the TWO people she cares about most.   

...There’s a flicker of hope there though. If you read Candy, there’s a scene where Vriska tries to send Terezi a sort of apology love confession. And we see Terezi recieving the messages for this!!!! But, she doesn’t read them onscreen. We don’t SEE her become aware that Vriska’s alive. And “seeing” is important.  Terezi in the Epilogue is also doing some goofy shit. While life on the Dirkship is probably depressing as fuck, she’s trying to eat Metal Candy for shits and giggle despite Rose challenging her.  Terezi’s personality defiantly shines through, when John dies, when Dirk wants to make her grovel, and when she’s on a ship with Robot Rose. The comic can take everything from her, but it can’t take away her goofiness. Terezi continues to live in defiance of the comic.   

BACK TO HOW THIS RELATES TO DEPRESSIVE SUICIDE, How do I rate Terezi’s arc? Both in the epilogue, and across homestuck?   

I get the impression the reason other characters have been able to move on from this stuff while Terezi gets dragged back into hopelessness is because of meta reasons. She’s the dark comedy, and one of the most continuously relevant characters. If things calmed down for her maybe she would be a less interesting or funny character. She’s cursed by her own relevance. Like Vriska, and John! Except instead of dying or being sucked into a new world she just continues being a bitter protagonist.       But.... what Terezi’s story brings to the discussion on suicidal depression is hopelessness. The sparks of hope and self awareness presented at the end are good to remind the reader this is just a silly story, but there’s not too much light for her at any stage. Getting continuously trodden down, throwing away her own chances of happiness. Not being able to get over anything. Therefore, Homestuck fails to bring a light at the end of the tunnel for Terezi Pyrope, even after all of these years of going into this theme.  Even if she has hope from Vriska, there’s the issue that she’s chasing after John like she was chasing after Vriska. Terezi’s fallen into the trap of being a character who goes around in circles with her depression arc. If you were personally invested in her getting better, you might be hurt by her presentation. The story tries to mitigate this by giving Terezi enough self awareness to poke fun at her own situation, and stop it from feeling too much like a melodramatic dragonball z angstfic like John’s. After all, Terezi would rather be tragicomic than plain tragic.    

Holy fuck, this is long!!!!!! Thanks Terezi!    

DAVE: 

To cap off this post I wanted to do a character that did not have a direct depiction of depressive suicide, but still related back to suicidal themes and did, ultimately, kind of kill himself. Dave in the Candy timeline. 

Dave goes through a lot of shit in his timeline. He’s in a terribad  relationship with Jade at the start, and all of his attempts to seek advice on his own sexuality are met with opposition by... fate itself. John’s not very useful. Dirk KILLS himself.   

Things go from bad to worse for Dave. He loses Karkat for good, when Karkat gets outraged at everyone for letting Jane’s bullshit slide. 

Dave... does not appear suicidally depressed following this. But he is a very repressed man. And years in the future when Obama comes to offer him the choice of accepting his ultimate self form, leaving EVERYTHING behind? He takes it without a second thought. Dave is so miserable that he doesn’t give a fuck if he does, because he gets to become an awesome robot with awesome powers and memories.  In the Meat! postscript, he abandons the Candy!planet to go fight the relevant fight in the new session Dirks’ overtaking.   

Because of how detached this suicide is from the suicidal depictions of Dirk, John, and Terezi, it’s not easy to analyse. But I think that this would count as a mixed representation.  JUST like Terezi, Dave has given up on his new world and decided to go run away for adventures elsewhere. JUST like Dirk, Dave’s let go of his individuality.   UNLIKE both of them, he’s with the good guys, he has enough individuality to still be himself, he has ALLLLLLLL of the self confidence... for now, and he is already making new friends. 

Unfortunately because most people IRL can’t merge their minds with epic robots, things for regular ol Candy Dave appear to have been so awful he gave it all up just like that for Obama.  If it wasn’t so absurd, it would probably be depressing, and I think a lot of Dave fans who read a more depressed interpretation of his character might see this as a failure on the part of Hussie to depict light at the end of the tunnel.   

Now we’re at the end of this stupidly long essay, let’s do a TL;DR:  

DIRK: Hopeless depiction of character dealing with suicidal depression, when their depiction was previously more hopeful

CANDY!JOHN: Excellent representation of character overcoming suicidal depression, best in the comic by far

MEAT!JOHNL: Weak representation of character dealing with suicidal depression

TEREZI: Semi hopeless representation of character dealing with suicidal depression

CANDY!DAVE: WH4T  

TAVROS: Not depressed, but symbolic of Candy’s hopeful outlook

EPILOGUE

Oh, sorry,  I mean “Conclusion”. Except we can’t really call it that either. Oh you meant the ESSAY?  Okay!!! Right.  

The epilogue’s depiction of sucidial depression is mostly upsetting. It’s negative, with a not very hopeful outlook.  

But what bits of there ARE end up being very powerful, in particular Candy!John who is the focus of this theme.  

However, Terezi - the COMIC’s focus character for sucidal depression -  does not get a good enough deal at the end to be seen as having much hope. The story tries to mitigate this with self awareness that it is, in fact, a story. 

It does this MORE with Dirk, and Dave too.  Dirk is hyper aware of his status as a fictional character. Although he kills himself, it’s not much of a suicide when he’s doing it to consolidate his influence elsewhere.  

But Dirk’s depiction as a supervillain shits on a previous arc he had, where he thought he’d be better off dead than alive because he might become bad one day.  Dirk was getting over this. Then the epilogue makes it look like Dirk would’ve been better off dead!!! He lost all of his individuality.   

So, Dirk is the most critical failure of this theme. Terezi is a big failure but as always she’d be salvagable if there was more content.  Candy!John is an overwhelming success.  Tavros is a part of John’s success.  Dave is in a weird place. I’d call him a failure though.    

The lesson to be learnt here is that.... even though the end did some GREAT things, like Candy!John, it’s advisable to distance yourself from relating too hard to characters going through suicidal depression. If they are like Dirk or Terezi you might be feeling depressed yourself at the end. 

It’s not up to the author to live up to the reader’s vision of how something should end. In this case Hussie gave hopeless endings to characters. But if you’re consuming media responsibly, you make sure you are not too sensitive to negative depictions like this, which while relatable are still the fictional musings of some dude.  

It’s not fair to ask Hussie to give everyone a happy ending, if that’s not his artistic vision.  We can criticise it artistically all we want, but we can’t call it unethical, not unless he’s deliberately aiming to hurt people. And despite everything, I don’t think he ever has been.   

What do you think? Do you believe the epilogue team wrote a good representation of characters coming to terms with depressive suicide, or suicidal tendencies?