#I miss being normal and not ill
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I went to alternative school last year and my teacher would print out photos of majima every so often and hang them up above my seat to motivate me. People started talking .. inappropriately so unfortunately they had to be taken down. After they were taken down I got really ill and am still dealing with it and I blame it on the majima walls death. Regardless it was very awesome and silly I wanted to share it
#majima#majima goro#goro majima#yakuza#ryu ga gotoku#rgg#the globaization one was made because I couldn’t focus on writing about globalization#I miss being normal and not ill#there was actually a goromi still in the schools hallway hung up#and a Halloween majima I’d painted#and a kazumaji painting …#I drew the trans majima for trans awareness week
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anyone else get cuteness aggression whenever they see james mcavoys charles….. like i have to pace around the room everytime i see him (your art is not helping. /pos)
i can think of one (1) mate who also gets cuteness aggression
#xmen#xmen movies#charles xavier#cherik#professor x#erik lehnsherr#magneto#snap sketches#i am moderately tipsy so idk if this looks right. he looks right to me right now i think yeah he looks good ill post it#ANYWAY tahnk you:) i hope my art contributes to Not Being Normal about charles in any capacity#ask earlier about erik's face getting oevrshadowed reminded me i can draw one of my fave things for film erik too#drawing this did make me wanna rewatch first class tho ... 'snap how many times have you rewatched first class'#its a new month ok im allowed to rewatch it five times if i want to#i never draw fc charles .. i miss him sometimes mcavoy in general's fun to doodle#when speak no evil came out i was too stupid excited to doodle paddy after watchin the movie but this aint about him. we're MOVING ON#im gonna go start doodlin somethin goofy bye bye ill be back Whenever
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The danger is clear and present: COVID isn’t merely a respiratory illness; it’s a multi-dimensional threat impacting brain function, attacking almost all of the body’s organs, producing elevated risks of all kinds, and weakening our ability to fight off other diseases. Reinfections are thought to produce cumulative risks, and Long COVID is on the rise. Unfortunately, Long COVID is now being considered a long-term chronic illness — something many people will never fully recover from. Dr. Phillip Alvelda, a former program manager in DARPA’s Biological Technologies Office that pioneered the synthetic biology industry and the development of mRNA vaccine technology, is the founder of Medio Labs, a COVID diagnostic testing company. He has stepped forward as a strong critic of government COVID management, accusing health agencies of inadequacy and even deception. Alvelda is pushing for accountability and immediate action to tackle Long COVID and fend off future pandemics with stronger public health strategies. Contrary to public belief, he warns, COVID is not like the flu. New variants evolve much faster, making annual shots inadequate. He believes that if things continue as they are, with new COVID variants emerging and reinfections happening rapidly, the majority of Americans may eventually grapple with some form of Long COVID. Let’s repeat that: At the current rate of infection, most Americans may get Long COVID.
[...]
LP: A recent JAMA study found that US adults with Long COVID are more prone to depression and anxiety – and they’re struggling to afford treatment. Given the virus’s impact on the brain, I guess the link to mental health issues isn’t surprising. PA: There are all kinds of weird things going on that could be related to COVID’s cognitive effects. I’ll give you an example. We’ve noticed since the start of the pandemic that accidents are increasing. A report published by TRIP, a transportation research nonprofit, found that traffic fatalities in California increased by 22% from 2019 to 2022. They also found the likelihood of being killed in a traffic crash increased by 28% over that period. Other data, like studies from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, came to similar conclusions, reporting that traffic fatalities hit a 16-year high across the country in 2021. The TRIP report also looked at traffic fatalities on a national level and found that traffic fatalities increased by 19%. LP: What role might COVID play? PA: Research points to the various ways COVID attacks the brain. Some people who have been infected have suffered motor control damage, and that could be a factor in car crashes. News is beginning to emerge about other ways COVID impacts driving. For example, in Ireland, a driver’s COVID-related brain fog was linked to a crash that killed an elderly couple. Damage from COVID could be affecting people who are flying our planes, too. We’ve had pilots that had to quit because they couldn’t control the airplanes anymore. We know that medical events among U.S. military pilots were shown to have risen over 1,700% from 2019 to 2022, which the Pentagon attributes to the virus.
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LP: You’ve criticized the track record of the CDC and the WHO – particularly their stubborn denial that COVID is airborne. PA: They knew the dangers of airborne transmission but refused to admit it for too long. They were warned repeatedly by scientists who studied aerosols. They instituted protections for themselves and for their kids against airborne transmission, but they didn’t tell the rest of us to do that.
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LP: How would you grade Biden on how he’s handled the pandemic? PA: I’d give him an F. In some ways, he fails worse than Trump because more people have actually died from COVID on his watch than on Trump’s, though blame has to be shared with Republican governors and legislators who picked ideological fights opposing things like responsible masking, testing, vaccination, and ventilation improvements for partisan reasons. Biden’s administration has continued to promote the false idea that the vaccine is all that is needed, perpetuating the notion that the pandemic is over and you don’t need to do anything about it. Biden stopped the funding for surveillance and he stopped the funding for renewing vaccine advancement research. Trump allowed 400,000 people to die unnecessarily. The Biden administration policies have allowed more than 800,000 to 900,000 and counting.
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LP: The situation with bird flu is certainly getting more concerning with the CDC confirming that a third person in the U.S. has tested positive after being exposed to infected cows. PA: Unfortunately, we’re repeating many of the same mistakes because we now know that the bird flu has made the jump to several species. The most important one now, of course, is the dairy cows. The dairy farmers have been refusing to let the government come in and inspect and test the cows. A team from Ohio State tested milk from a supermarket and found that 50% of the milk they tested was positive for bird flu viral particles.
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PA: There’s a serious risk now in allowing the virus to freely evolve within the cow population. Each cow acts as a breeding ground for countless genetic mutations, potentially leading to strains capable of jumping to other species. If any of those countless genetic experiments within each cow prove successful in developing a strain transmissible to humans, we could face another pandemic – only this one could have a 58% death rate. Did you see the movie “Contagion?” It was remarkably accurate in its apocalyptic nature. And that virus only had a 20% death rate. If the bird flu makes the jump to human-to-human transition with even half of its current lethality, that would be disastrous.
#sars cov 2#covid 19#h5n1#bird flu#articles#long covid is def a global issue not just for those in the us and most countries aren't doing much better#regardless of how much lower the mortality rate for h5n1 may or may not become if/when it becomes transmissible between humans#having bird flu infect a population the majority of whose immune system has been decimated by sars2#to the point where the average person seems to have a hard time fighting off the common cold etc...#(see the stats of whooping cough/pertussis and how they're off the CHARTS this yr in the uk and aus compared to previous yrs?#in qld average no of cases was 242 over prev 4 yrs - there have been /3783/ diagnosed as of june 9 this yr and that's just in one state.#there's a severe shortage of meds for kids in aus bc of the demand and some parents visit +10 pharmacies w/o any luck)#well.#let's just say that i miss the days when ph orgs etc adhered to the precautionary principle and were criticised for 'overreacting'#bc nothing overly terrible happened in the end (often thanks to their so-called 'overreaction')#now to simply acknowledge the reality of an obviously worsening situation is to be accused of 'fearmongering'#🤷♂️#also putting long covid and bird flu aside for a sec:#one of the wildest things that everyone seems to overlook that conor browne and others on twt have been saying for yrs#is that the effects of the covid pandemic extend far beyond the direct impacts of being infected by the virus itself#we know sars2 rips apart immune system+attacks organs. that in effect makes one more susceptible to other viruses/bacterial infections etc#that in turn creates increased demand for healthcare services for all kinds of carers and medications#modern medicine and technology allows us to provide often effective and necessary treatment for all kinds of ailments#but what if there's not enough to go around? what happens when the demand is so high that it can't be provided fast enough -- or at all?#(that's assuming you can even afford it)#what happens when doctors and nurses and other healthcare workers keep quitting due to burnout from increased patients and/or illness#because they themselves do not live in a separate reality and are not any more sheltered from the effects of constant infection/reinfection#of sars2 and increased susceptibility to other illnesses/diseases than the rest of the world?#this is the 'new normal' that's being cultivated (the effects of which are already blatantly obvious if you're paying attention)#and importantly: it. doesn't. have. to. be. this. way.
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it's been a week and i still haven't recovered </3 so i did a little sketch with this scene between normal and scary because it fucked me up and i need more moments of them comforting and caring for each other
#dndads#dndads s2#dungeons and daddies season 2#dndads s2 spoilers#dndads spoilers#scary marlowe#normal oak swallows garcia#these two make me so fucking ill#i love their relationship and i missed them having moments so much and i was so heartbroken when normal comforted scary about terry jr#it sucks! when your best friend looses her dad and she has to face all this feelings she was trying to protect herself from#and you can't do anything to help hee besides being there and hugging her#if normal could he would take her pain away in a heartbeat#which is an idea i am thinking. about normal messing with the modify memory spell to protect scary from being sad#anyways they are my babies and i love them so much and they are the siblings ever <3
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hii happy pride month, have a little 'you're a dog (i'm your man)' chapter four snippet as an apology for radio silence <33
“Did I wake you?” Gale asks, glancing at John apologetically, but John looks up from his effort to avoid muddy puddles to shake his head. Gale supposes it’s a silly question; John sleeps like a rock, dead to disturbances made by anything other than his own brain.
“Just my sixth sense,” John says, shrugging and shooting him a small smile. Gale snorts.
“You got a radar for me?” He teases, and John smiles wider, eyes crinkling.
“Built in,” he answers matter–of–factly, raising a hand and making a fist over the center of his chest before dropping it, returning his vigilant gaze to the uneven ground. Gale stares for a moment longer, floored not for the first time by John’s apparent obliviousness to the weight of his sentimentality.
Even knowing John how he does, it’s always unexpected coming from someone who a stranger might assume to be brazen and surface–level; John’s loud mouth and wandering hands do him no favours in that regard.
But Gale does know John, like an extension of himself half the time, and still he manages to render him speechless. The way his heart flutters as the sentiment hangs in the air makes Gale want to reach down his throat and squeeze it until it never beats again.
#slow progress but progress#dog coded bucky fic#still sick unfortunately lol i thought i was lucky enough for it to just be a week thing but i forget i am chronically ill!#(read: i gaslight myself into thinking i'm normal sometimes)#i'm trying to get this chapter done before i reply to asks/post other stuff#bc i rly only have the mental capacity for one or the other at once atm :( but i miss you guys and being deranged here SO BAD. so so bad#thank u for the endlessly kind messages and your boundless patience oh my word <3 it rly is so reassuring mwah hugs#i rly do feel so bad for not replying to @s and messages tho i just have so little energy rn so i am conserving it :(#but i read them all whenever the migraine brainfog subsides enough to scroll and i smile and weep simultaneously <33#so if i have not replied to ur msg. i promise it is nothing personal i'm just a walking corpse and will get back to u when i can <3#and that's my boring author's life behind the scenes update JSKGD my bad y'all#buckbucky
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If I think about cTubbo for too long I implode because he was only 17!!!!! He was 17 and the president of a nation that wasn’t even his!!!!! He was protecting a dream to the death, a dream that wasn’t his dream. He gave up everything EVERYTHING for the dream of a man who only saw him as his sidekicks sidekick. He was never himself, he was always part of something, l’manburg, Tommy’s best friend, a spy for the rebellion, and the one time he was chosen was because it’s didn’t matter who was chosen bc the place was going up in flames anyway. He had a target on his back and became the face of evil to protect a dream that he gave his life for TWICE with zero recognition. No one listened to him and he sat alone in his big cold office as others told him how he should think and what he should do and that he was an idiot, a tyrant and called him the name of the most hated man ever just because he wanted peace, something he never had before. No one listened to him, but even his best friend who said he would be at his side but blatantly ignored him and told him that he’s just like the man that murdered him. The man that executed him at 16 years old after making him decorate his own public execution.
He was only 17 and became Atlas. he became the face of what everyone hated. People destroyed the dream that didn’t belong to him yet he gave his life, his happiness, his friends, his childhood for just to say it’s his fault that governments are corrupt af that the world would have been better if he had never been given the role. A role he didn’t ask for. A role he was thrown into just for someone else to pull the rug from under him. He was only 17
#don’t look at me I’m being cringe#I miss qtubbo#and I reverted back#MY BABY BOY#HE WAS A BABY#screaming and crying#HE WASNT EVEN 17 AND HE BACAME THE FACE OF SONETHING PEOPLE WERE MEANT TO HATE#lmanberg wasn’t even his dream it was Wilbur’s and Tommy’s#I’m so normal about him I’m so normal about him#he makes me normal#i’m ill#he makes me physically ill#dsmp#dsmp tubbo#Tubbo
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finished honest hearts a few weeks ago … still thinking abt it
#fallout new vegas#fnv#courier six#courier oc#arcade gannon#artists on tumblr#hi im hyperfixatingn on fnv again. for the love of god hello#im reaching the latter hslf of the game and im getting sad bc im gonna miss playing sirius so much……….#i mean i have so many saves of him at different levels so ill always be able to fuck around with him but still.#those credits are gonna be bittersweet#anyways i have a backlog of sketches that ill post eventually and new stuff im working on :D#in the process of unlearning shame and posting shit that i normally only show my friends#im letting myself be self indulgent and that means drawing my courier being in gay yaoi love with arcade#my art
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MiqoMarch Day 23 - Midnight
With their intended voyage into the void only a few days out, Arsay thought it the upmost importance that she steal her partner away to Kugane, that they might share one more fond memory together should things not turn out the way they plan in the thirteenth. It was as they crossed the very same bridge the miqo'te had once sat on together two years prior when Arsay gifted Y'shtola with a bracelet matching that of her own. A token of endearment which, Arsay confessed, she would have given to her fellow scion back then, had nerves not gotten the best of her. While their relationship has undoubtedly changed since the initial purchase of the jewellery, the sentiment remained the same. Y'shtola was someone who Arsay loved dearly and she will forever be grateful to have the seeker's life intertwined with her own. No matter where their free spirits took them, they would always hold each other in their hearts. A promise Y'shtola was more than willing to keep. She slipped the the string of beads around her wrist without a second thought. They were never to come off, not even when the two decided to delay their return to Radz-at-Han in favour of a private bath at the dead of night.
#miqomarch#miqomarch 2024#ffxiv#y'shtola rhul#y'shtola x wol#wolshtola#arsay nun lore#arshtola#thanks to nhaneh for the body mod#i had to do some insane fov to get the moon and them in the same shot so sorry for the distortion#forcing arshtola lore into this prompt since idk when Ill ever get around to gposing the actual scene#this is between 6.1 and 6.2!#endwalker patch spoilers#i had the idea that arsay bought the Dai-ryumyaku bracelets from a vendor between 4.3 n 4.4 when shtola is off to the doman enclave#and arsay is like hey wait you should let me show you around kugane on the way over!#a fun friend date that ends with shtola finally accepting she has a crush on arsay and its terminal#and arsay having a single moment where she starts reflecting on feelings & thinks maybe she missed hanging out w/shtola more than she shoul#only to quickly butt that idea out of her head and continue being super normal#arsay notices these matching bracelets with red and purple string and shes like oh they are so cute and they look like#they belong in a pair it would be so sad if they were ever split up unexpectedly#i know ill buy them and give one to shtola wouldnt that be fun!#so she does that and then cant bring herself to give yshtola the damn thing because she starts second guessing herself#so arsay stashes the bracelets away and she started wearing hers later under her glove#fast forward to two years later and arsay finds the other one in one of her bags#and now shes dating yshtola and they are about to go somewhere super dangerous#what better time to tell your gf how much they have always meant to you#and what better way to do it than with a gift and some words spoken from the heart?#it was a little unconventional since arsay didnt really have marriage on the mind but it was a proposal in a sense#WOL posting#Arsay Nun
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#qsmp#qsmp fanart#walter bob#qsmp forever#its that time of day where i miss walter bob..#can i just say i love walter bob#HE IS SO AGGGHH#his backstory is so cool and sad like#he was a father and husband…. HE HAD A NORMAL LIFE BEFORE#its so GRGRGRGRGR#I love him#i could go on about him being a tragic character for hours but tags can only be so long..#so ill cut it short#side note#this guy NEEDS more fan content#im BEGGING
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you totally should do an oc relationship web!! id love to see that i find your ocs fascinating :] also it's a good way to quickly introduce newcomers to oc dynamics hehe
hello. i am psychologically unwell and so i want to remind you that you ASKED for this
if some of the text is too small to read IM SORRY. it should be ok if u click to see it bigger. i also had to design nadia for this and she actually turned out spot on. and i decided shes missing an arm
i am thinking of them all crazy style always. anyone wants me to elaborate shoot me an ask or a fuckin dm idc. i will always talk about my fucking guys <3
#oc#ocs#ask#I AM UNWELL ABOUT THEM#u can call this 1: the sisters kil (+ diana). 2: the siren's song (hatred and malice). 3: the serpent's tail (messy bitches)#did not connect diana/heiti or julian/nadia because. they dont rlly know each other#diana and heiti never meet and julian only meets nadia like. once. and it does not last long!#also nadia and heiti. they never meet#but the rest of them. oh boy. they have GOT to get normaller#fucking. julian and warren is so funny. BITE EACH OTHERS DICKS OFF#also also. kinda of paragraphs for julian and naomi. they have. a complicated relationship to say the least#also also ALSO. nadias arm is literally nothing. i might change it in the future if i think of something cool but for now like.#it's literally just a birth defect. when i drew her i didn't draw the rest of her arm and then it looked like it was on purpose and i was.#well. no reason for her to NOT be missing an arm. missing an arm be upon ye#ONE MROE THING AND THEN ILL BE DONE. the reason julian and diana's change is bcause the one with the sisters is more early on/in ereform#it's pre-plot. or like. most of it at least.#after (messy bitches) is more later on and then. haha well. unhappy reunion be upon ye#ALSO THANKS FOR SENDING ME THIS. I LOVE BEING ENABLED MWAH MWAH MWAH
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i hate being slow as hell. what is wrong with me bro WE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS STUPID
#doesnt matter what i do someones always gonna point it out at some point or another#theres always gonna be someone to make me feel stupid#for all intents and purposes i might as well be missing half my brain . at least then id have a good reason for being this way. smfh#nah . i am forever going to be fucking pissed off at how every adult in my life failed me. maybe i would be okay if someone just fucking#helped me. if someone just fucking noticed my existence and saw something was wrong. but no one did. and now im like this.#now im like this and nobody is going to help me. and they'll think im fucking braindead. or fucking treat me like a child. BECAUSE THEY DO#BECAUSE I KEEP FUCKING SEEING IT. THEY DONT EVEN KNOW AND YET THEY DO IT. I GUESS THEY SMELL IT OR SOMETHING#its not even like theyre wrong in treating me like that either . i dont think i can do fucking anything without being guided and coaxed.#its just another reminder ill never be normal. and i hate that#i hate being disabled. i hate being disabled. i hate being disabled.#toxi.txt
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I miss having a dad and someone to look after me. I miss telling them how school went. I miss complaining and getting adult, fatherly advice in response. I miss sending them messages whenever I accomplished something and making them proud. I miss being comforted when I woke up from a scary dream. I miss being praised for being a good kid. I miss being read bed time stories to fall asleep to. I miss being upset and immediately going to dad for help with no hesitation. I miss being called their good little daughter. I miss the warmth I felt in my tummy whenever they made me laugh. I miss watching movies together. I miss feeling cared for and adored and loved
#I miss having motivation to do things#I’d always have motivation when I had a dad because I wanted nothing more than to make them proud of me#I know I should work on being more independent but. it’s been so difficult to go through everything alone#I miss feeling like I had a purpose#it’s so hard to feel motivated when everyone eventually leaves#I wish I wasn’t so much work#I wish I was normal and didn’t struggle with my mental health so I could be easier on others#I feel so lost like I’m not made for people at all#like I’m not destined to be with someone because I’m too mentally ill for them to ever want to stay#I wish I didn’t have bpd it has genuinely ruined my life#whenever I see cute couples on here I can’t help but feel so jealous. I wish one day I could be in a happy relationship like them as well#I wish I didn’t drive everyone away from me#I wish I could be a good partner#and not make things so hard for others
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feeling like death warmed over all day every day is already pretty awful, but one of the worst parts for me is actually doctors.
it's not MY job to know about human bodies, it's not MY job to think of tests to run and medication to try, it's not MY job to pore over test results. and yet I'm the only one doing it, and I have to pretend that's not what's happening lest I hurt the doctors' fragile ego and they decide that's one more reason to brush me off.
#it's so lonely too. I can't do most of the things other people are doing and no one likes being around sick people#hell if I could not be around myself sometimes I sure would choose to walk away too#which is its own special kind of lonely lol#I want to be normal so bad I even miss having to hold down some stupid job#mine#personal#chronic illness
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Sorry for the uptick in system stuff Im lowkey struggling and need to see system positivity posts or I'll explode
#malik's rambles#okay i know my ass is gonna vent in tags rn so . tw for that !!#iwill never shut up i missed tumblr tags so much wow#itsnot their fault and like . like i dont want to blame them . but its so isolating being and living this way#ill always be grateful for them and I know its just my brain trying to cope and like !! its not their fault but this sucks so bad like wow#also doesnt help that besides how scared I am and how I just . wanna be normal . I feel like I sound insane to other people#it constantly feels like everyone is laughing at us and is just playing along with our “roleplay thing” because they dont wanna bother#and like !! im trying really really hard to be positive about it and just live as well as I can . all of us are !! but it makes me feel like#ridiculous . it feels like everyone'll laugh and think we're playing pretend. which shouldnt matter people will always be assholes !!#I dunno aough im rantingso hard rn . and masa2 wont share which is fine but imscared and worried and scared and aauahhggggggggg#ik the point of the disorder is to hide memories from me so i can function but like . man this suckss9 bad#okay enough of this . Imgonna watch monsters inc i love monsters inc
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j/on s/ims the type of guy to wait until the very very last second before pausing a tape to sneeze...... like?? he definitely is in denial about needing to sneeze despite it literally being about to happen
#now im imagining his voice slooowly getting breathier and breathier with the occasional hitch between words-#-and then the tape clicks on and off and suddenly hes back to normal (for now)#what if he was about to sneeze and then. tried to turn off the recorder but slipped/missed or wtv and didnt have time to try again#imagine THAT in a recording#then maybe t/im (idk much about him yet tbh) is listening back to the tapes and comes across this one#talks to j/on about it while trying not to laugh#j/on is very grumpily like “yes i know ill have to rerecord it dont REMIND me”#and t/im is like “actually thats pretyy funny you should leave that in”#cue j/on being all “do you have any idea how *disgusting* .... blah blah blah.... MORTIFYING not to mention UNPROFESSIONAL-#“-(indistinct pissed-off rambling)”#t/im is like “ok chill i was joking pleas e”#Sorry that got away frkm me a bit#k talks#t/ma
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wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.
#vent#for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode#like constantly#from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived#to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week#and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally#not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic#and now someone died in my family#not someone very close but i liked them#and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing#because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter#so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with#because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter..#i'd just want a week where nothing happens#and like the writing is weighing heavy on me#because i miss it#also i wish i could finish something#i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off#also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit#i bought new furniture#because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly#which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself#just because i was too burnt out to write#and i wanted something nice to happen to me#like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice#and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns#and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken#because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid#yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job#long pathetic whine and overshare over
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