#I miss Oswald y’all

[jestierabbit]

🎵“You can make it different— you can make it right. You can make it better— we don’t have to fight!”🎶

[riddle-me-ri]

I really love that tiktok dress post with the riddler I was wondering if you could do the same for the penguins? ☺️ would love to see their minds blown lol

A/N: I've been debating whether I should do one for the Penguins or not lol thanks for making it easier for me to choose. Hope y'all enjoy! Here’s a link to the website where you can get the dress and here’s the link to Heidi’s Tik Tok that inspired this idea in the first place. Here’s also the Riddlers reacting in case you missed it 😁 Oh also enjoy the two extra Ozzie's I've included 🐧💜

Trigger Warning: Highly suggestiveness…look at the dress like…c’mon and some crude language, mostly on my end cause kinda like the Riddler one it feels like I’m just telling y’all straight up what’s gonna happen rip and I have the vocab and diction of a sailor

The Penguins Reacting to Reader Wearing a TikTok Dress:

Arkhamverse Penguin:

This cheeky asshat.

Oh, he’s so fucking smug it’s not even funny.

His eyes are literally scanning your form up and down.

This Ozzie is also extremely handsy and groping every exposed inch of you every chance he gets.

He’ll ask you to spin yourself around to show off every part of the dress and your accentuated assets.

Honestly, wouldn’t put it past him to be the one who got it for you, but he wasn’t sure you’d have the guts to actually put it on.

He would insist you wear it when it’s a busy night at the Iceberg Lounge

Oz would want you walking around, strutting. 

They can look if they want, get distracted and have their money get swiped. 

If they even try to touch you, they’re dead.

“Don’t worry love, everyone here knows your mine, they treat you any less than the gorgeous bird you are, I’ll kill ‘em.”

Reevesverse/ Farrell Penguin:

Once you walk in wearing the dress, you immediately have him speechless. 

He puts his hand to his heart, making sure it’s still beating. That he hasn’t just up and died in his sleep.

“Bellissima…” He puts down his cigar and is automatically waving you to come closer. 

“I need to make sure you’re real, sweetheart.” 

He makes you blush more than you expected to make him blush. 

Oz is full of praises as he stands up, holding your hand, and twirls you around so he can see all of you.

He contemplates whether or not he wants to see you out in his club like this. 

Sure he wants to show you off, but he’s possessive and if you were to go out there, you’d have to stick to his side 24/7 (which you do anyway)

“You look gorgeous in anything you put on. But right now, this one is my favorite, just second behind you wearing nothing.”

He snickers as you playfully  his shoulder, but you both know it’s true. 

Expect Ozzie to go searching for more variety of this type of dress and gifting ALL of them to you. 

Gotham Penguin:

He’s literally flabbergasted. 

There’s no way this was your idea, surely some set up with Tabitha or Barbara. 

Whether that’s true or not, he’s brain is still short-circuiting. 

His mouth is constantly opening and closing like a fish out of water. 

His eyebrows furrow in confusion for some minutes. How does a dress like that even work? 

You’re gonna have to get closer to him and snap him out of it.

But you gotta be quick, once he’s conscious you gotta make sure he doesn’t get lost again.

You offer some conversation, “d-do you like it Oswald?” 

It takes him a minute to come back to lucidity, but he finally starts making sentences…somewhat.

“I-I uh, um, i-it’s stunning y-you look stunning! W-where did you get that?” 

“I found it out while shopping with Tabby.” 

Oz rolls his eyes he figured as much. 

He won’t allow anyone to see you in the dress, this view is for his eyes only. 

If anyone even caught you putting on socks, he’d kill them. Just imagine if they even caught a sliver of a glance of you in this dress. 

Something feral and possessive comes over him at the thought. 

The dress teases just enough to show all his favorite areas to kiss and nibble on you. 

He does love the dress but he needs it off of you – like now.

Batman the Animated Series Penguin:

Also another one stunned into speechlessness. 

You’re lucky if you get anything like a squawk out of him. 

Even his birds got silent when they saw you.

“M-M-My goodness…” such a soft boy, takes off his hat and is literally trying to wipe away the sweat with a handkerchief. 

“Do you like it?” You gave him a 360 spin so he could take it all in. 

I don’t know why but I can see him getting a nosebleed? His face is fire engine red and his blinking rapidly as if trying to make sure his eye balls don’t stretch out like a Tex Avery cartoon. 

“I-I-...I’m speechless, darling. You look absolutely alluring like a siren…” He breathes out breathlessly. 

You can’t help but giggle at his gentle and polite nature. He was just too damn sweet for his own good sometimes. 

This Ozzie will also be strongly opposed to anyone seeing you in the dress. He’s definitely one of the more possessive Oswalds (I genuinely think they all are pretty possessive and greedy)

He's honestly just so gobsmacked that you're with him and that you love him. The fact you love him enough to do things like this to surprise him and bless him with your beauty.

The New Batman Adventures: 

(I honestly wasn’t sure whether to add this one or not, the design is different and it's considered like both a revamped season of BTAS but also it's own thing since it takes place two years after events in BTAS, and the DVD collection just calls TNBA season 4?? so idk but he does have some difference to BTAS so there's that)

He's taken aback. You could hear his audible gasp.

Oz's mouth hangs for a second in just awe. 

"My, my, my…my gorgeous dove…you look absolutely ravishing."  

He may be speechless and stunned but at least he's more capable of functioning speech. 

Oz walks over to you, his eyes admiring you up and down as he circles around you. 

He removes his gloves and reaches out to hold you. He's surprised just how sheer and thin the material is. It's almost like he's just touching your skin. 

He is absolutely beaming with pride and adoration. 

He definitely doesn't mind either or if you wore it out to the Iceberg Lounge. 

He wouldn't mind showing off to everyone in Gotham that your gorgeous being was his. 

But he'd also be pleased to keep it as a naughty secret between the two of you

Also much like Farrell Oz, expect him to probably give you more dresses in a similar fashion for you to try on. 

Telltale Penguin: 

Also another cheeky asshat

He's dumbfounded but only for a second.

"Holy shit, love. What brought all this on?"

He's immediately up and on his feet to take a closer look. 

When you tell him it was just something you found and thought he may enjoy, he snickers.

"Oh, I do definitely enjoy it, love. Absolutely breathtaking, you are." 

He's quick to have his hands all over you. His calloused hands running up and down your sides.

Feeling just how little the fabric is. He could easily tear it off you in a heartbeat but he decides against it.

He wants to be able to see you wear this again. 

He's more determined than ever to leave love bites where your skin is exposed through the sheer fabric.

A part of me sees him both wanting to show you off smugly to his colleagues but also doesn't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing most of you like this. 

If you want to wear it out with him, he won't argue, but you can guarantee if anyone disrespects you in any way, he won't hesitate to knock their lights out. 

And introducing a new Penguin to the roster…One Bad Day Penguin (cause he can fucking get it, but no worries, no spoilers but if you’ve read it you’re in for a treat, and if you haven't yet, I genuinely can't recommend it enough) 

One Bad Day Penguin: 

Damn, just when he thought you couldn't be anymore attractive. 

You've already got him wrapped around your finger, and now he's wrapped up that much tighter. 

You were drop dead gorgeous. The exotic dancers at his club never could hold a candle to you.

And you in this dress further confirms that statement. 

You saunter your way over closer to him. Giving him a 360° turn. 

"What do you think, Ozzie?"

"I think I'm the luckiest man on the planet.." he replies with no hesitation. 

When you're close enough, his arms are immediately wrapped around you. 

"Damn, it's like you're not wearing anything at all…" He mutters as his hands roam across your skin. His finger tracing along the sheer patterns of the dress. 

His breathing is hitched and his touch to your skin was electrifying. 

It's a miracle he's keeping it together as well as he does. 

He usually adores showing you off but this dress may have to be just between you two. 

Oz can't guarantee he won't rip off anyone and everyone's head that lingered their eyes a little too long on you. 

In moments like this, so intimate and tense from arousal. 

He can definitely feel the little animal in him ready to pounce on you, immediately. 

[gender-snatched]

Ok so I’ve been so bad at posting my Femslash Feb fics for this month so here’s this week’s. Under cut for y’all.

A Wedding - Martha Jones/Original Female Character

Prompt: Martha

The wedding invitation manages to make it to the TARDIS. Somehow. It’s in pretty, shiny red lettering on a thick cream paper, and it invites the Doctor - and a plus one [crossed out] two [crossed out] three [underlined] - to the wedding of Martha Jones and Selena Ali.Underneath, handwritten, are the words “I fucking won!” underlined and in all caps. It’s not Martha’s handwriting, and the Doctor smiles when he sees it.

The Universe - Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan

Prompt: Universe

The Doctor would give Yaz the universe, but she wouldn’t give Yaz her actual love.

Sunbeam Heat - Madame Vastra/Jenny Flint

Prompt: Culture

But there are things Vastra misses about being among Silurians. Small cultural things, really. Things like sharing sources of light as intimacy and eating whole eggs. Things that Jenny passes off as ‘just Silurian’ or even ‘just Vastra’. And Vastra wants to tell Jenny that when she says things like “it feels nice under this lamp”, that it’s an invitation for Jenny to sit with her and bask. And that’s intimacy to Silurians.

Flower Notes - Martha Jones/Kitty Winter (Elementary TV)

Prompt: Flowers

The first time Martha receives flowers, she’s shocked. They’re laid across the doormat of her flat, a small bouquet. It’s not professional by any means - in fact, it looks like someone tore up some flowers and tied them together with the nearest piece of string. But still, Martha is gobsmacked by the most obvious fact. It’s a bouquet. For her.

Brilliant Skies - Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan

Prompt: Picnic

The Doctor takes Yaz on a date.

Vulcan Logic - Ashildr | Lady Me/Clara Oswin Oswald

Prompt: Hands

Vulcans don’t, by any meaning of the word, flirt. Ashildr, the last Vulcan heir to the S’hek T’gau clan, is not flirting with the Betazoid girl. She simply enjoys Clara’s company. A friendly game of chess, or a conversation on the ethics of Starfleet’s telepath programs is not a relationship garnered on some silly human crush.

Missy’s Step Into the Disgusting Worm Concept of ‘Love’ - Missy/Donna Noble

Prompt: Donna

Missy loves playing in the Doctor’s timestream. It tastes nice, meeting people who don’t know about her and never will. Donna is the next one she tries to stick her fingers into. After she’s forgotten the Doctor, and is back to being miserable, because those humans are always so miserable when they don’t get to see interesting things. It’s boring. But then, the ginger woman yells at a man that’s messing with her stuff, and well… Missy likes women, alright?

[thatoneacecryptid]

Gotham Rogues Pride Headcanons

[These are speculation based on the Batman media I have personally experienced in addition to my own musings in the attempt at writing my own versions of them]

- Harley: Pansexual

- Ivy: Lesbian

- Selina: Bisexual

- Edward: Demi-Biromantic Demisexual (he’s very particular)

- The Dent System: Bisexual, he was out before the split

- Jonathan: He thinks he’s AroAce for a long time and he’s mostly right, he’s just Demiromantic to the point of basically being fully aromantic. There’s a whole ridiculous list of things that have to go exactly right for him to be mildly romantically interested in someone

- Oswald: Gay but kinda quiet about it. He’s out he just doesn’t talk about it because it, and anyone else’s identity, are not really important to the kind of business he and the other rogues get up to. Ozzie supports the other rogues and anyone else in the community, he’s just a busy man with other things to discuss. He’s also of the philosophy that these kind of things should be treated as normal. Speaking about it differently implies oddness when it is and should be treated as natural.

- Waylon: Panromantic Graysexual (he’s got a big heart and so much love to give, the poor dear)

- Joker: Pansexual

- Jervis Tetch is the token straight that’s on the thinnest of ice. You know those lakes where the layer of ice on top of it are just those little strips of ice that makes sound when someone kayaks through it? That’s how thin this man’s ice is, he’s practically swimming already

- Conversely, Victor Fries is the token straight that’s chill

- Bane is also straight but gives out dad hugs

- Oswald gives all his employees the day off during Gotham’s Pride parade. He pays attention to who goes and who doesn’t. It would be wise for them to attend regardless of their identity as Oswald does not tolerate bigots in his organization and, depending on the various levels of bigotry displayed, has means of dealing with it…

- Harley and Joker have not missed a parade in Gotham ever. They wear outfits comprised of the pansexual colors to the event and for all of June really. They’re very excited

- Ivy feeds into her girlfriend’s excitement by growing flowers in the pan and lesbian flag colors on their shared apartment’s window sills. She usually goes with Harley to the parades. She and Joker get along well enough that all three of them have a good time. Seeing their girlfriend/bestie happy is enough to squash any beef that may be between the two of them

- Dent has two suits that are pink, purple and blue. Both are split down the middle with one half being blue and the other being pink, they just alternate sides. The tie is always purple. This sprang from an argument between the two of them over which one would be wearing which color. They’re both bi after all, so they decided that they would make two (as is their custom with most things) so neither would be upset. They also have suits that are two shades of pink and two shades of blue with a bi flag tie as well. Just to make sure they have all their bases covered for whatever they are both feeling

- All of the rogues support small Pride businesses every year. It’s pretty much the one thing they actually spend money on

- Yes Pride celebrations have gotten violent in Gotham. It’s Gotham and Pride started as a riot after all. However, the rogues never terrorize Gotham citizens during this time, only the ones who accost the celebrations. Batman does nothing about this. The rogues who are not engaging in the conflict actually team up with Batman on getting scared celebrators to safety. No reason for anyone not wanting to get involved to be hurt

- More often than not though, Gotham is relatively calm and pleasant in June

Happy Pride Y’all! Stay safe, stay your authentic self and know that you are loved 💜

[jayfortheday]

✧*。Masterlist And Gen Info ✧*。

This account has officially been abandoned. I’ll leave this gen list here for all who wish to still read any of my stuff. Love to you all!

One fic may be under multiple characters btw. Only Klitz + Eli gets its own category

Characters!

~Dwayne Hoover (Little Miss Sunshine, 2006)

---->Comforting You HCs

---->Still My Favorite

~Brian Wilcox (Fast Food Nation, 2006)

---->Stargazers

~Tim Klitz (The Girl Next Door, 2004)

---->Nighttime Nostalgia

~Eli Brooks (The Girl Next Door, 2004)

---->Eli Brooks Masterlist

~Eli Brooks + Tim Klitz (The Girl Next Door, 2004)

---->Smut HCs

---->Date Night

~Oswald Cobblepot (The Batman, 2022)

---->Cuddling HCs

---->Barely Holding On

~Alex Jones (Prisoners, 2013)

---->Rediscovery

~David Loki (Prisoners, 2013)

---->Rediscovery

---->One Short Moment

~Eddie Munson (Stranger Things Season 4, 2022)

---->Kiss The Pain Away

---->End All This Now

---->Review + Fix It

---->The Same Coin

---->Bleed For Me

---->Music Lessons (1) (2) (3)

~Vance Hopper (The Black Phone, 2022)

---->Vance Hopper Masterlist

~Robin Arellano (The Black Phone, 2022)

---->Got Your Back

---->Looks Like It Hurt

---->Ghost!Grabber Victim HCs

---->Left On My Own

---->Roller Boy

---->Confession + Dating HCs

---->In Your Arms Again

---->More Than Math

~Non __x Reader Fics

----> Untitled

---->Back To This Place Again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello! I will go by Jay here on Tumblr! My pronouns are He/Him and I identify as aroace. I really like writing "x reader" fanfic so that's mostly the stuff I'll be posting, maybe the occasional something else, but that's it really.

I can write both SFW and NSFW but I tend to prefer to write SFW. The characters under 18 I will write for are Dwayne Hoover, Vance Hopper, and Robin Arellano and I will not do anything sexual for them anymore. All other characters I write for will be 18 or over. Any requests for hard no’s will be deleted.

Hard no’s include sexual content involving minors, romantic or sexual content for Alex Jones from Prisoners, sexual noncon or dubcon including cnc, non-familial requests for characters 11 and under, hetero relationships for canonically gay characters, and pieces about real people.

Please feel free to send me prompts or anything, really. I love hearing from people, and I tend to run low on ideas so if there's something you think I should write then lmk. Please give me time to write them, I have a job and attend college and not as much free time as I would like. Whatever pronouns are used for the reader in your requests will be the ones in the fic, if there are no pronouns, I'll use they/them. For smut requests, please include the anatomy you would like. If it’s not specified, I will decide based on what I want to write that day. All drafts will be published in the order they are received/made unless I am experiencing writer's block, in which case I will work on whatever prompt inspires me the most. If y’all ever see that I answered a post but then can’t find it on my page/see it unfinished, I published it too early and deleted it. I’ll upload it with a screenshot of the prompt when it’s ready, very sorry. 

In my posts, I will provide a word count, description (for stories), pairing (character x reader or character/reader), and pairing type (familial, platonic, romantic, sexual), and tags/warning. If there is a tag you believe I missed for a story you would like acknowledged, feel free to say something either in a direct message or a comment!

Most of my pieces will have a GN!reader and any NSFW will typically be female anatomy with some occasional male anatomy, but I can do something else on request.

I hope y'all enjoy what I write! :)

[onmyyan]

Straight Venomous Ch.5

A/N: Short lil sum to keep y’all fed feedback is always welcome hope ya enjoy

A/N: Edited 1/11/2023 I gots to stop posting shit at 3 AM bec my eyes don’t be working anyway I made a small change at the end to make it flow better and corrected some spelling errors if I missed any no I didn’t 🔪🖤

Bruce Wayne knew people, he understood them in a way most others couldn’t. At least not without serious work, if he put his mind to something it was only a matter of time before it played out exactly as he wanted, he could count on hand the times he’d failed and it wasn’t a brag, but rather a simple fact. Predicting behavioral patterns came with the job, and he was very good at the job.

If you could recognize the pattern it wasn’t hard to predict the next move, and Damian was no exception to this rule. 

He was hungry for validation, recognition, and glory, but also knowledge. It unnerved the younger man to be in the unknown. Getting deep beneath his skin, Bruce understood if he waited long enough his prideful heir wouldn’t be able to help himself and investigate you on his own. It was both a test for you and his son, a test of patience. 

How would you conduct yourself when facing a brute like Robin? What would Damian do when faced with a stronger opponent? These pressing queries held his mind in a vice-like grip, the hunger pain that sat heavy in his stomach wouldn’t be quelled until he got those answers. 

And he found those answers faster than he thought.

You were street-smart, calculating, and careful, so he knew the only way he’d get you to reveal yourself was through provocation. This is where Damian came in. Bruce stood within the shadows of a nearby building, watching the interaction with hawk-like attention,  ready to pounce the moment either of you got out of hand.

When the time came thankfully neither of you questioned his sudden appearance, seemingly grateful for the interruption, at least you were, Damian looked like he was about to lose it. Bruce took a silent joy in the way you subtly shifted behind him. Damian clearly made you uncomfortable despite the power difference, while he had you in experience and strategy you outclassed him physically, in ways even Bruce didn’t fully comprehend.

Yet.

So you could change form, a stronger faster, truth be told frightening form, but nothing he hadn’t seen before. 

You were burdened with this incredible responsibility at such a young age, clearly, you had no idea of your full capabilities and he was itching to be the mentor you so obviously needed, the hesitation and anxiety you displayed made it all the more clear to him, you needed help, someone with the proper experience and strength to guide you along the right path. 

It's been hours since the interaction but you still held firmly in his thoughts. A huff of air escaped the quiet man, the bright screens before him bathed his skin in an eerie glow, the atmosphere was usually dark as ya know, he works in a cave, but there was a particular heaviness hanging over him like a water balloon resting on a tack, all it takes is the slightest nudge, and he’d be drenched in it, soaked in the dangerous feeling, like a storm foreshadowing its destruction, his blue eyes were tired, the job added 50 years to his expressions alone, and after a nearly 12-hour patrol, he’d earned at least a wink of rest. Everything in his body urged him to take a break, but he couldn’t. Not when you were dangling in the jaws of a wolf, it took him maybe five minutes to find out where you worked, more specifically who you worked under, Oswald had been a thorn in his side since he’d first dawned the cowl, it been a long while since he’d tried anything but silence from that man was never a reason to relax. He was as grimy as they came, and would double-cross anyone who stood in his way if it meant getting what he wanted. The balloon burst the moment the information entered his brain. You were so misguided, too trusting of such a vile human, and without considering your wants and needs he quickly decided you’d be his latest project protégé.

 After all, he’s trained his fair share of heroes, and you’d be the newest success. He could see it now, he’d study your condition whilst instilling his sense of justice along the way, and you’d appreciate his tutelage and thrive under his care and guidance. You were already so incredible despite the circumstances surrounding you, but if you continued on your path alone he was sure you’d cross the point of no return, he needed to get to you before Gotham did and you killed someone. (OhBrucieYouHaveNoIdea)

Meanwhile, some floors above him the youngest Wayne paced tracks into the floor of his gym. Yeah his, because the brat refused to use the one in the cave at the moment.

Damian spent the rest of the evening following the altercation silently, and violently, fuming to himself. Usually, whenever something managed to wriggle its way under his skin, he’d take it out on one of the poor training dummies stationed below his home in the Cave but that’s where his father was and right now he’d only make the bitter heat in his belly burn hotter. That same heat remained in the shape of your hands, how easily you subdued him had a permanent scowl on his flushed skin. He subconsciously traced the places you’d touched him hours ago.

The very fact that he was irritated enough to still be thinking about you disturbed him to his very core. It wasn’t fair you walked away without a scratch (he seemed to have forgotten nailing you with a Batarang) while he was left feeling... whatever this was.

There was anger for sure, anger at you for existing and daring to involve him in it, and anger with himself for letting you get the drop on him like that. It soothed his rage to think about your rematch, sure you didn’t know about it yet, but come on like he’d let things stay where they were. He was definitely taking you down. 

The simple fact that you’d burrowed into his brain like the roach you were had him putting his all behind the punches he threw, each hit shaking the bag enough to jolt. if the training equipment in this gym could talk- it wouldn’t because he’d have already broken its jaw

The rage he felt towards the beast made sense, he couldn’t quite place where the rage at his father came from, perhaps because he’d sat on information? That must be it. Surely it has nothing to do with him interrupting the two of you, surely.

One would think after 200 hundred crunches and an accompanying set of push-ups he’d have cooled off enough to stop shaking but that wasn’t the case, it felt, almost like a wasps nest had formed deep within his gut, a painful headache begging to thrum against his skull, unnerved with the idea of not knowing where and what such a dangerous being was up to. You could be doing anything to anyone, with anyone, if one of the more screwed up freaks in town caught the slightest whiff of what you could do- a sigh deep from his chest came out, you still wouldn’t leave his mind, his pulse began to climb, that burning intensity in your eye was locked in his memory like a screenshot. 

He was certain if his father hadn’t appeared you would have battled it out until one or both of you collapsed, The thought of ending you left a bitter taste in his mouth, it be an insult to his honor as a warrior to do so when you weren’t giving your all. He wasn’t a man to back down from a challenge and this was the biggest one yet. With a grunt he returned to dog-walking the punching bag, the strikes never losing momentum.

Somewhere across the water sat an equally dangerous man with equally dangerous ideas beginning to sprout

Dick sat at his desk, unable to tear his gaze from your blurry picture. Something about those eyes held him in place, he was afraid to think about how long he’d been sitting there, staring, and it was not like he had the time to waste. People always needed saving and he couldn’t afford to investigate your not-so-cold case any more than he already had. 

It wasn’t his business anymore, sure it started on his turf but once he realized you were a local from his hometown he had no choice but to share it- share you- with The Bat. 

It wasn’t like he hadn’t solved harder cases on his own, and he wasn’t too proud to ask a more seasoned professional his opinion when stumped, yet here he was, eyes still tearing into every grainy frame the surveillance video had to offer despite having handed the case over a few weeks ago. Something had settled in his gut. A feeling he was all too familiar with at this point, and if he was a better man he’d feel at least a little bad for his actions, but he wasn’t, and he didn’t.

See what he was, was an honest man, and honestly? You were captivating. Absolutely, wholeheartedly captivating. Dick was no stranger to attraction, he’d mastered the art of seduction and romance wasn’t a strange concept. He’d had little fixations before, and it never take him long to get the girl or guy whichever he was in the mood for, and his brain would quickly move on to the next thing. That was the usual routine. 

But you were anything but usual.

And this time it wasn’t doing that last critically important part. Like he forgot how to move on. He didn’t know what he wanted from you, only that you plagued his consciousness since he’d intercepted that robbery. He didn’t tell Bruce about the dead man left at the scene, a petty part of him was all too eager to leave him in the dark, after all what kind of ‘world's greatest detective’ would he be if he couldn’t solve this one? And a small dark voice in his mind was sure the bastard had it coming for trying to harm you, those guns they had certainly wouldn’t have just tickled.  

As he let himself relax in the worn chair he rested on, his thoughts also relaxed, and the wave of contradicting emotion washed over him. There was the curiosity, of course, all the burning questions he had for you, the genuine desire to head to your place and apologize- for what he had yet to figure out. Then there was the churn of guilt.

He felt at fault for whatever happened that night, the weight of not getting there fast enough was heavy on his scared shoulders. Of course, he felt bad, and that was obviously the reason he couldn’t seem to shake you. Had he moved a little quicker you’d never have gotten mixed in with his little community of local vigilantes.

Oh? Maybe not?

The ding that had interrupted his troubling inner monologue was a simple picture from Tim.  He scrunched his face at the bright screenshot he’d had been so kind to shoot over, You lived with Jason? Of all the people, he scoffed at the image sending a quick thank you to Tim, the younger male had a soft spot for the first Robin so he’d agreed to his request on you easily, maybe a little too easily. Had his mind been any clearer he might have been concerned with the amount of information Tim had on you. Instead, he wondered if you knew about Jason’s job. Of course, you did, you were a smart girl, after all, his smart girl.

He cracked his neck, fingers twitching at the thought because even if you did know, clearly you didn’t understand the danger you were in, he was almost certain you were a meta but the how's and why’s of it all weren’t all too concerning. No, what worried him was your obliviousness. 

You lived with him. And yeah it had been a few years since he’s seen his successor, but time couldn’t change the kind of broken Jason was. He had a temper and a tendency to act without thought, why else would he move in with a civilian? You had no idea just how much danger you were in simply by sharing a roof with the man. It was idiotic to think he could protect you-if the thought even crossed his mind that is. He scoffed bringing his now cold coffee to his mouth before setting it back down. His dark brows furrowed at the thought.

He could do that, protect you properly. The way you deserved. He owed you that much. He resigned himself to his poison and snatched up his phone, the person on the end answered almost immediately.

“Hey Timmy, you still staying in Gotham right? S’Cool if I come crash a few days?”

While those three dangerously deluded fucks individually plotted to ruin your life, the fourth was currently trying to squeeze information out of you, as he’d come home with lunch for the two of you only to find you halfway out the door, a sloppily put up bag of clothes strapped across your back.

”Jay I have like 2 seconds what do you need?” You all but whined out, half your shit was in bags the other was in the dumpster outside your apartment. Oswald was very specific on how and when you’re to arrive at your temporary home, you had a very small window to time to get to the meeting spot and were allowed one bag of personal items, all of which would have to be thoroughly searched. 

Oswald genuinely scared the fuck out of you, sure you could probably kick the shit out of the guy in a fist fight but the sheer joy on his face when he spoke of revenge and how much pleasure he got from the suffering of those who annoyed him and his overall vibe was one not to be fucked with. Throughout your frantic packing, the Symbiote was kind enough to narrate just how long you had left, taking a sick sense of joy at your irritation. ‘With three minutes on the clock and a Man-Thing in the way? Will the human make it?’ 

You were one minor inconvenience away from losing it but no one needed to know that, and as pretty as Jason is he was very much being that inconvenience right now.

”What’s going on you’re packing your shit? You also look like you’re about to shit so take a breather- maybe I can help.”

He spoke gently like he was talking to a scared animal, honestly not that far off from your current state.  “I’m moving out for- fuck if I know, but look I promise I’m gonna be okay so don’t worry.” You gave him a tight smile and went to move around him, black tendrils began subtly gathering around any and all items of yours it could find, a brush here, towel there the batteries to the remote, Jason quickly put his hands on your shoulders forcing you to pause.

”Someone after you? You’re running from somethin’ sweetheart, that much I can tell.” One corner of his mouth lifted into a worried smile, the seriousness in his eyes unsettled you, but this was Jason, so you buried the unease as soon as it appeared.

”Jay-“ you paused wracking your brain for the right words to get you out the door. Your hands found their place on top of his, gently running your thumb against his battered knuckles. “Thank you for worrying about me but you don’t need to! I ain’t running nothing but my mouth you know me,” you felt the weight of the items in your bag reach a point where no more would fit, Venom seemed satisfied with his scavenger hunt, all too eager to remind you of your ever-diminishing time limit. ‘The bird man will yell at us if we’re late (Y/n).’

’and if he hurts my feelings I’m eating his insides.’

your eye twitched at the threat while you wracked your brain for the magic words to move the wall of muscle blocking your swift getaway.

”I just need to get away for a while- just clear my head.” 

His face was the kind of scary still you’d only seen a few times. The stone-cold look didn’t match the heat in his hands, which are now gently covering your own, he gave a soft squeeze as he spoke. “Slow down for me.” His tongue flicked out over his bottom lip nervously, “Is it- you leaving cuz that shit with me and Roy? Listen I get why you’d be scared but I’ll never let anything happen to you- I’d rip the world apart before I let that happen.” His grip tightened slightly as his words continued. The conviction in his words made your hair stand on end.

”I’m sorry if I scared you but I’d never bring that shit home- just talk to me don’t run away- please.” 

You could hear the hand of the clock in the kitchen ticking away, the sweat had begun to build on your brow, and trying your hardest to stay focused, because the second You loosened your grip Venom will take the wheel, he didn’t do it often but whenever your stress levels would rise to a certain point, You’d take a backseat and let him drive the boat. And he drove that boat right into the wall.

You had Jason’s collar in a vice, yanking the larger male down to eye level in an unforgiving grip, “I’m only gonna say this once pretty boy- Stay away from us- last thing we want is to mess up that mug eh?” Venom spoke, white clouded over your eyes, Jason seemed to be taking in your splitting smile when you pushed away from him.

”See ya when I see ya Red.”

Your body threw itself out the open window, only after tossing your bag unceremoniously first of course and before he could try to chase you, you were gone. 

You sighed deeply once you were in the car, finally relaxing your shoulders at the thought of your troubles being behind you. 

Only they weren’t behind you, oh no love they’re all around, the first domino had fallen, the wolves were closing in, five different individuals have already started down this blood-soaked path, and Gotham had suddenly become five times more dangerous.

[jadedtimberwolf]

Jade's Fallout Fanfic Masterlist

Howdy y’all! I’ve been very active lately over on my AO3 page, and I’m trying to get more involved in the fandom in general. So I thought I would make this master list of all my current (and future) FO4 fics, as to not clog up the tags. As always, mind the actual AO3 tags in addition to the things mentioned here!

The Things That Break The Camel's Back -

10 chapters, 48188 words (Complete)

Summary: In which the untouchable John Hancock realizes he's a ticking atom bomb, just like every other ghoul.

Major Character(s): John Hancock, F!Sole (Default Nora), Nick Valentine, Oswald the Outrageous Ship(s): John Hancock/Nora/Nick Valentine

A Tinkerer's Delight - Oneshot, 3790 words (Complete)

Summary: Hancock and Valentine get cornered by some Rust Devils. Those same Rust Devils get curious about Nick's inner workings. Major Character(s): Nick Valentine, John Hancock Ship(s): John Hancock/Nick Valentine

Imposter Syndrome - Oneshot, 6352 words (Complete)

Summary: It's Hancock's birthday, and Goodneighbor goes all out with celebrating ten whole years of their mayor's noble leadership. The Institute, however, has never been a big fan of Hancock's ability to make Goodneighbor less terrified of them. He was dangerous and an outlier. So they decide to send up a little birthday gift of their own. Major Character(s): John Hancock, F!Sole (Default Nora), Nick Valentine Ship(s): John Hancock/Nora/Nick Valentine

To Hell and Back Again - 17 chapters, 69948 words (IN PROGRESS)

Summary: Mayor Hancock of Goodneighbor goes missing, and it's up to the Commonwealth's two brightest detectives to track him down and bring him home safe. When the paper trail leads them west, the jaws of Tartarus open wide, and Nick and Nora begin to unravel a twisted experiment that could put the likes of Vault-Tec to shame, all with John stuck at the center of it. And when they do finally find him, the long walk home has its own separate share of heartaches. Major Character(s): John Hancock, F!Sole (Default Nora), Nick Valentine, MacCready Ship(s): John Hancock/Nora/Nick Valentine, Charon/Clover (Last Updated 7/9/2022)

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Trouble ~ J.V.

A/n: I see my Jerome peeps are HERE and I’m LOVING IT! Prompt list here so y’all don’t have to scroll ;) Feel free to request as many as you want for commission or when requests are open again. I LOVE using prompts!!

Request: “...6, 8 with Jerome Valeska” by anon

6: “You are actually Satan, oh my god.”

8: “Wow, I am so in love with you… just wow.”

MASTERLIST

You know how you see someone, and it’s so obvious where they’ll end up that it’s like a scene in your head? It’s never good when this happens, so usually it’s a sad story and you kind of just frown and shake your head and pity the person, but you know that saying anything won’t do you any good so you just sit back and keep your mouth shut and wait for the inevitable end.

That’s how everyone saw Jerome Valeska.

People had never cared about Jerome, though. If they ever had, it was wiped away pretty quickly. Brutally murdering people with no care for who was on what side, who had helped or hurt, or without even a little remorse or pity or hesitation or regret... it was one of those things that most people found to be a bit of a turn off. Those who didn’t were seen to be just as unhinged as Jerome was, so they were dismissed as well.

The thing was, people HAD cared about Y/n. She was one of the most intellectually promising in her entire high school, maybe in all of Gotham. She was the kind of teenager that seemed so very adult. She was respectful and poised and very well controlled. She was pleasant to be around, and even much older people didn’t mind talking to her if they happened to be in the same place. She’d even made some pleasant relationships.

Like the friendship she had with Bruce Wayne.

Through him, she had come to learn about and meet and even get along with everyone Bruce knew. She could get along with anybody she wanted to, without threats or intimidation or groveling. She simply existed, and she had a sort of comforting, approachable presence about her. She wasn’t the least bit threatening, but she was... nice, I guess. Even dangerous people liked her, because she was the only person who didn’t seem to care about power or advantageous interactions or anything like that.

She was just nice to talk to.

This showed most prominently when she talked to people like Edward Nigma, or Oswald Cobblepott, or Silena Kyle. She’d even found herself in situations to talk to Barbara Gordan. Victor Zsasz.

People usually chalked it up to her being quite unlucky.

Because she was so unsuspecting and unproblematic and calm, she turned out to be a really good hostage. She didn’t talk back or lash out, she just sat and behaved and looked at you with a very calm, calculated expression.

Zsasz had run into her when he’d worked for Penguin and had been guarding her so that Oswald could make a deal without worrying about his bargaining chip being compromised. After a while, Y/n had asked how Zsasz’s day was going. They’d had a short, pleasant conversation, leaving the assassin intrigued by the girl when she’d been let go.

Barbara had a similar experience, except it had been when she was in Arkham of all places. Everyone had a weird thing, and very few if any people knew Y/n’s, but even she had one too. Her weird thing was visiting Arkham Asylum every once in a while visiting random people inside it, and then talking to them with the most easy normality. Like they’d been life long friends, or the person she was talking to was completely sane. She never judged or snapped, she just had a neutral expression with a sort of interest in her eyes. She was polite enough that Barbara had entertained the visit, and found herself not totally regretting it afterward.

Oswald had met her when he was mayor. She had dropped by as an errand for Jim Gordon, and had started a casual conversation when Oswald had expected her to leave when thing were handled. At first he’d been suspicious, and he still was if he was honest, but she hadn’t asked any prying questions or tried to get at him from any angle. If he drew a line, she respected it immediately and moved onto something else without missing a beat. When he got uncomfortable, she apologized and wished him a good day before excusing herself. After she’d show up several more times, sometimes sent by Jim, sometimes just to say hello, Oswald eventually relaxed. He didn’t trust her, and she didn’t expect him to, but when she stopped by to say hello he’d have someone bring them tea and they’d have a little chat. He was a little surprised when she didn’t visit him in Arkham, but when they ran into each other a little later, she nodded to him with a little smile and he got the impression she wasn’t angry with him.

As time passed, more and more people who were considered to be Gotham’s worst were coming up with more and more stories of Y/n. The girl who didn’t scream when she walked into a store and saw a dead body, but who’s neutrality wasn’t unsettling as much as it was kind of calming. She had all the makings of a twisted, demented villain, and yet she was the most normal person ever. It was confusing and intriguing, but never distinctly a bad thing. She was well known, and no one had anything bad to say about her. 

It was only a matter of time before Jerome found her.

Not long after he did, he was as taken with her as everyone else. She wasn’t annoying, or unnerved by him. She was in fact endlessly interesting. He thought eventually he would get bored of her complete lack of response to even the most terrible things he told her in an effort to get her going, but found instead that the sort of sparks of interest in her gaze and the small smile that sometimes almost touched her lips was enough to keep him engaged.

She was the exact opposite of him, but in a way that didn’t drive him to want her to be gone. He didn’t WANT to kill her. It was weird, and he was living for it.

Slowly, Y/n stopped showing up in public. She stopped visiting Arkham, and the police department. She stopped running into dangerous people who never seemed to mind seeing her around, even if they weren’t supposed to be seen by anyone. She graduated high school but never talked about college. She just... slowly started to disappear.

It wasn’t as suspicious as it was disappointing. No one could tell where she was going or why all the accidental bump ins were being so carefully removed, but it was leaving the idea in everyone’s head that they might not have been accidents to begin with. Not most of them at least. That was the only thing that it could be, after years and years of her being so very unlucky, only for her to quite suddenly not run into a single soul ever. Even when people sought her out, they couldn’t find her unless she wanted to be found.

She appeared rather suddenly at Jerome’s side one day out of the blue.

No one noticed her behind the line of people in chairs. They were distracted by Jerome talking about his terribly sad past, and the people with explosive collars locked around their necks. Most importantly noted: Bruce Wayne and Jerome’s twin brother, Jeremiah.

It wasn’t until Jerome drew attention to her that anyone even registered her at all. She was so still and quiet that behind all the chaos, she might as well have been invisible.

Jerome was only too enthused to rub it in everyone’s faces.

“You know you don’t like me, and that’s fair. I’m not like any of you, am I? I don’t smile right, and I act weird. Then there’s the whole killing people thing.” He giggled, but the crowd in front of him only looked disgusted. “But is that why you really hate me, Gotham? Because I’m a big ol mean bad guy? Do you hate me because I’m a little unhinged? Because I’m a little loud and hysterical and I scare you? Or do I scare you because I have no problem being very honest and very open with all of the things you people LOVE to push under the rug and hide away and pretend no one can see.” He shook his head. “Because I’ve come to realize there is someone who’s exactly like me, but so much better at playing all of you. So much better at playing innocent and harmless and friendly, and with no real intentions other than to prove how easy you all are. How transparent.” His eyes drifted toward Y/n, and he motioned her forward. Without hesitating, she did take a few steps forward, into the light and right behind Bruce Wayne.

Gasps echoed in the crowd. To everyone’s stunned silence, Y/n stood there with the same calm and reservation she always did. She seemed perfectly unbothered by the dead body inches from her, or the people she had always seemed so close to being in danger. She didn’t look around, trying to gauge a way out, and nothing held her in forced obedience. She just looked at Jerome, that same nice, almost-smile and curiosity dancing in her eyes.

“What-” Bruce looked around, mouth dropping open when he saw who was behind him. “Y/n?”

“Ah yes,” Jerome purred. “Gotham’s little angel. Friend to all. Unassuming and nice and calm and wonderful. Aren’t you just a pillar of perfection, Y/n?” He giggled again, and Y/n tilted her head, her smile growing a little,

For the first time ever, Y/n was unnerving. Seeing her of all people look dangerous was so upsetting that the crowd started to step down from their anger towards Jerome and were edging toward true fear. If she could end up being bad, who else could? If even the bets of them could be corrupted, and even the most deranged mind could act completely normal, how could anyone ever tell when people were dangerous anymore?

It could be anyone. Anyone they trusted. Anyone they knew. Anyone they’d talked to long enough to decide they were safe. Because Bruce Wayne had known Y/n best of anyone in Gotham, and even he looked as stunned as everyone felt. He had spent copious amounts of time with her, including for hours straight during school hours, and even he had not on any level or in any way seen anything like this coming.

“Y/n?” Bruce whispered.

Y/n met his gaze. “Yes?”

He wasn’t sure what to ask her. “What’s going on?” is what he settled on.

She shrugged, as if they were catching up after school. During tea time maybe, after having not seen each other recently. “Nothing much. I’m observing and learning. People are so intriguing Bruce, have you ever noticed? I’ve learned so much. All I ever had to do was be polite, and everyone would let me sit there as long as I wanted and observe them. You learn so much by watching people, but even more from talking to them. And they always let me. All I had to do was let them talk. I never lied. I never pushed. I was respectful and curious, and they responded so well. I’ve come to learn that even the most suspicious people feel the loneliness of humanity. They crave to be wanted. To looked at. All I had to do was show interest, and they thrived under that attention. You really have to do so little for people to like you. It’s so interesting.”

Bruce’s eyes had been widening as she spoke. She said it all like she was observing humanity in a way that she wasn’t apart of it. “You’re like us, aren’t you?”

“Oh of course,” she agreed. “That’s the thing. I wanted to understand myself, so I looked at those like me. And those unlike me. To see what was and wasn’t me. To see what was similar and what was so very completely different.” She chuckled softly and Bruce felt sick to his stomach. “I never expected to find someone so very similar to me to be someone seen the eyes of everyone else as exactly opposite. Jerome and I? Very much the same, except I’d rather learn than act. I never really cared about people’s opinions or if they didn’t like me or if they were mean. I was too unassuming for bullying or abuse. I didn’t care if people looked over me like Jerome does, and that’s really the only difference. I just wanted to learn, and people were always willing to let me.” She shrugged. “But people are so simple. So easy to understand. MUCH more straight forward than any of them would like to admit. I think I’m going to be staying with Jerome from now on. He’s interesting. He understands.”

Jeremiah knew who she was only by association, and even he was surprised, despite having known Jerome very close up for so long. He supposed it wasn’t fault, but watching Bruce, he wondered if he’d even been able to tell her true nature. Even now she looked completely normal and safe. Her eyes were full of life, and she was fairly attractive. The way she stood was relaxed and the way she talked was completely normal. What was upsetting about her was not that she was obviously messed up. It was that she was so painfully normal in even a situation that should have been quite upsetting.

“You’re a sociopath,” Jeremiah offered in a sort of leveled voice. Her eyes turned to him and he realized that her calmness was contagious. She had the look of someone you could just... fall into. So easy to trust. Even now he found himself a little lured by her. She was honest about who she was. She didn’t hide anything. She was just quiet, and people forgot to ask. That wasn’t her fault. Maybe she could still be saved from his deranged brother.

“Yes,” Y/n agreed, and her complete acceptance of that didn’t sit well with Jeremiah. “Would you like me to show you? I have come to learn that everyone wants some sort of proof of it. They have a hard time believing me.”

“No that’s okay,” Jeremiah rushed to reassure just as Jerome squealed, “Yes please!”

Between the two opposite reactions from the two very opposite twins, Bruce got the idea of what her kind of proof might mean. “Don’t worry Y/n, we believe you.”

She nodded, and the two boys thought that’d be the end of it. But then she pulled an actual gun out of seemingly nowhere, pointed it at the crowd, and shot without even hesitating. There went up a scream as people scattered, revealing the body of a woman bleeding out on the ground. The bullet had hit someone around her neck and no one could do anything other than give her and themselves plenty of room away from her.

Jerome squealed with excitement.

Bruce looked at Y/n with horror. “I said we believed you! You didn’t have to kill her!”

“But I did,” Y/n decided. “Because they didn’t believe me.” Her lips turned up into a stronger smile. There was no regret or hesitation in her eyes, and Bruce felt dread slowly settle throughout his body. She WAS exactly like Jerome and the only reason this was her first kill is because she’d decided to wait until now to kill someone. They’d all been at her mercy this entire time, like a mouse held down by a mouse trap. Except they’d been perfectly fine just sitting in her trap and letting her watch with mild interest as they died.

She was just like Jerome.

One of the other people in line spat, “You’re actually Satan, oh my god.” His eyes were wide and Bruce got the idea that if he hadn’t been held by the explosive collar, he might have bolted. “You let all of us trust you and welcome you and be around you. You gained our trust, and you don’t even care about us?”

Very calmly, Y/n simply shook her head. “We’re all just meat. Do you care about the animals scientists test on to give you your makeup products and medicine? Do you care about the pig killed for its meat, or the dogs that rip each other apart in the streets for entertainment and money? We’re just animals. You guys have just gotten the idea stuck in your head for some reason that we’re special animals. You won’t admit those animals will eat you just as quickly as you will them. Pigs have high intelligence. You think you’re gods because you have the highest intelligence and then ignore how you so easily ignore what you know and do what you want instead. You give into nature just like any predator. I have simply stopped being either. I’m not villain. I’m not a hero. And you think the people who watch the villain are a different category, but they’re not. They do nothing, and bad thing happen, and that’s it. A woman died, and people didn’t do anything to stop it. There’s a whole crowd of people not held here by anything other than a secret, sick fascination with the terrible things happening here. You are just as bad as Jerome. Just as bad as me. You just refuse to admit it. I don’t. That’s all.”

Grinning, Jerome sat forward in his chair. “Wow I am so in love with you.” He giggled and everyone in the area cringed. The idea of Jerome Valeska being involved like that with Y/n... And the way she seemed to not mind it either. On top of everything else that had happened here, it was so viscerally upsetting. Jerome stood, moving behind the people in chairs to gently grab Y/n’s face, pulling her lips against his. When he pulled away, everyone’s face had gone scaringly pale. “Just, wow,” the red head whispered. 

Y/n seemed to consider that. “You know, I think I have some sort of care for you. Like... like how someone explained a pet to me. Is that how affection feels?” She still looked only curious. It made sense that in a world who didn’t care to learn about people like her, and after a lifetime of holding back her questions and lack of understanding, even after all this time she still would be confused about the different way she experienced relationships with other people.

Jerome shrugged. “I think not, but I can be your pet if you want.”

Y/n smiled. “I think I do want that.”

A victorious smile adorned Jerome’s face. “That’s all I needed!” He turned to face his brother and Bruce Wayne again. “See, I was so stuck on you two. I died wanting to kill Brucie, and I’ve lived my entire life wanting to kill my dear brother, so I lived for nothing else. I thought of nothing else. I existed to end you two. But now, I have a different purpose. There is nothing like looking at someone you find so very interesting and them returning that back to you.” He giggled. “Mom always said I’d never find love. Aren’t you proud of me for proving her wrong?”

“This isn’t love,” Bruce snapped. “It’s demented. You can’t feel love. Neither of you can.”

“Maybe not,” Y/n agreed. “But it will be fun testing that.” She turned and walked off the stage, heading back and disappearing.

Jerome sighed. “And that’s my cue.” There was a gun shot and a sharp pain in his hand as the detonator fell out of his hands. He could no longer explode the necklaces. He made an ‘oopsie’ sort of expression before ducking away as another gunshot run out. “See you around, you two!” His laughter echoed as he disappeared after Y/n, fading away too quickly.

By the time Jim Gordon chased after Jerome, it was far passed too late. Whatever Y/n had done to ensure their escape, it had left no traces. They were gone.

Behind them, they left death and the lingering feeling in the air like this was only the beginning to a very, very terrible love story.

[countessrivers]

what is the most underrated ship, in your opinion?

I’ve shipped ships that are popular in a fandom, and some that maybe aren’t as popular, but frankly, the ship that’s most wasted on its fandom (and the one that it annoys me the most about) has to be Gobblepot. I mean, I don’t know what the Gotham fandom is collectively smoking, but it’s shit and I want no part of it. Like, I’m sorry, y’all pick you know what over Gobblepot? Really? You’re gonna do that? Fine, whatever, your legit loss. But you’re missing out on a wealth of complexity and tension and significant touches and protecting each other and respect and betrayal and storming into each other’s workplaces and questions about morality v practicality and adoration and obsession and knowing each other and killing someone together and teamwork and threats and that thing where Jim always stares at Oswald’s mouth.

Gobblepot is delicious fucking food and I have no idea why the fandom continues to turn its nose up at it.

[theladyofdeath]

Rags & Riches {16}

Summary: An A Court of Thorns and Roses Fanfiction. 19th century AU. Based on the prompt sent in by @cat5313 All characters belong to SJM, I am just a fan with a plot.

Warning: Mature content strung throughout.

A/N: I never realize how much I drop “fuck” until I proofread...ah, oh well. 5 chapters left. Do y’all mind when I post 2 chapters in 1 day? yay? nay? I’ll only do 1 if it’s too much, but either way, R&R will be finishing up, soon.

Enjoy (you know, if possible).

Leave a comment to be tagged & tell me what you think! :)

One month had passed since they arrived in Hybern.

They had endured one battle, which lasted two weeks. Many of Hybern’s men went down, but a large number perished from their own side, too.

Even when they relaxed at camp, they were always on alert, always kept one eye open.

Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand sat around the fire.

The three of them had created quite the bond, never leaving one another’s side - both in battle, and out. Rhysand had an opportunity to stay away from the front lines because of his title, but he did not. He stayed with Azriel and Cassian, refusing the opportunity without any hesitation. 

“Elain says she should start showing soon,” Azriel announced, the other two looking up from their letters. “She also says morning sickness is getting much worse.” 

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Cassian grinned. “If a little you was growing inside of me, I would probably feel like shit, too.” 

Azriel chuckled. “Yeah.”

Cassian knew that Azriel’s chest ached as he wondered how long he would have to be away. It seemed as if the war had only just begun, but he felt like he had been away from Elain for far too long.

“Any news from Feyre or Nesta?” Azriel asked.

“Feyre says Nesta is being extra bitchy,” Rhysand mumbled. “Other than that, she says she wrote to Elain, telling her to visit soon and their father is finally getting back this week. Oh, and they got a dog. Named him Oswald.” 

“Oswald?” Azriel asked, brows raised. “That’s a….nice….name.” 

Rhysand snorted. “And Nesta?”

They both looked at Cassian, who was reading his letter with narrowed eyes. “She gave me an update on the weather, says it has been raining a lot. I also hear of Oswald, and it is a terrible name, so don’t lie. She said she put a gift in here for me, but there was nothing in the paper.” He looked around for the envelope to put the letter back inside, and once he found it, and opened it up, he froze.

Azriel raised his brows as Rhysand reached for the envelope.

Cassian quickly put it out of his reach. 

Rhysand’s eyes narrowed. “What is it?”

Cassian put the letter back in the envelope and closed it. “Nothing. A photograph.”

Azriel blinked. “Of what?”

“Hmmm,” Rhysand hummed, leaning back. “Is this photograph of Nesta?”

“You will never know, will you?” Cassian asked.

“Is she nude?” Azriel chimed.

Cassian backed up, toward his tent. “I am going to bid you both goodnight.”

Rhysand howled as Azriel’s grin widened. “Alright. Don’t get too vocal with yourself, no one wants to hear all that.” 

Cassian rolled his eyes as he climbed inside, shutting the tent flaps behind him. He used a match to light his lantern, and his pipe, as he laid back against his blankets, atop the grass. 

He pulled open the yellow envelope, once more, removing the letter and setting it aside as he reached for the other contents. He pulled out a long, silver chain, an oval locket attached to the bottom. When he opened it up, all the tension was released from his body. 

On one side was Nesta, and on the other, was Marigold. Cassian chuckled at the photograph of the horse before brushing his thumb over the one of Nesta. She sat, poised, her chin lifted high. Even in black and white, he could see the intensity of her gray-blue eyes. 

He closed it shut and clasped the chain around his neck, tucking the locket beneath his shirt.

There was another photograph inside of the envelope. Azriel’s guess had not been wrong. Cassian took it into his hands and brought it closer to the lantern, his heart beating wildly. Her hair hung loose around her pale shoulders, reaching just below her breasts, which Cassian admired as he brought his pipe to his lips. Her legs were open, waiting for him, and he suddenly had the realization that someone must have taken such a photo, and wondered how Nesta had swung it without anyone seeing.

He laughed, under his breath, at the thought of Nesta ordering someone around to take a nude photo, only to have it instantly taken away and put in an envelope to ship to him overseas. He turned it over and on the back, it read, I know what you are thinking. Do not worry, Helion helped me with such a project and kept all details to himself. Cassian snorted - knew what he would be thinking, indeed. Then, below, it read, For when you are lonely. At night, this is how I wait for you to return. Hurry back.

Cassian flipped the photograph back over and ran his fingers down the image. She was so beautiful, especially when she was natural, bare. Nothing but the locket in which she sent along, the locket that was now around his neck, covered her skin. The silver oval laid between her breasts. 

He studied her until he could no longer bear to keep still. 

After unzipping his trousers, he wrapped his fist around his cock and began to stroke himself. His head fell back and his eyes fell shut, but the image of Nesta, his Nesta, remained.

~~~~~

Rhysand was eating a bowl of some kind of slop the next morning when Cassian emerged from his tent and stretched.

“Have a nice date with your hand last night?” Rhysand asked, filling his mouth.

“Fuck off,” Cassian said, shaking his head but unable to stop his grin. “Where’s Az?”

“Bringing our letters to the post. They’re going out this afternoon.” 

Cassian nodded, reaching for one of the bowls Rhysand had brought. “Okay, I grew up poor, but even this shit looks disgusting to me...and my standards are fairly low.” 

“At least it keeps us from starving to death,” Rhysand said. “Hopefully.”

Cassian was just about to reply as a bell sounded from the middle of camp. Rhysand quickly met his gaze, his jaw set, as soldiers all around them got to their feet.

Azriel was running toward them, eyes wild. “They’re coming, less than a mile away. We have to go.”

Rhysand swore, dropping his bowl to the ground as Cassian reached for their guns. A moment later, helmets were atop their heads and rifles were tossed across their backs and they were running across the landscape. Once in formation, they marched as one through the valley and halted. Beyond was the battlefield they had already seen, the battlefield in which so many had died around them. Rhysand looked to Cassian on his left. His friend was focused, his breathing even. He had a good shot, if he ever had nerves, he did not show it. Then Rhysand looked to Azriel on his right, who was closing his eyes. Azriel was fast, could dodge anything. Rhysand was not worried about either of them. He would not allow himself to be. They would stick together. They would make it out.

“Stay together,” Rhysand whispered.

The other two repeated, in the same quiet calm, “Stay together.”

~~~~~

“Feyre?” Nesta called, knocking on her sister’s door. “A letter just arrived from Elain. She will be here next week, she says.”

The door was opened a moment later.

Nesta froze.

Feyre’s eyes were red and puffy. “Sorry, I just….” her words trailed off and Nesta pulled her sister into her arms.

“Has something happened?” she asked. “Is Rhysand okay?”

Feyre nodded. “Yes, it’s nothing like that, I just….Nesta, I’m pregnant.” 

Nesta blinked. “Pregnant?”

Feyre laughed, wiping at her eyes. “Yes.”

Nesta smiled, wrapping her arms around Feyre even tighter. “That’s great news. Why are you crying?”

Feyre allowed Nesta into her room before she closed the door. They both sat by the fireplace, on the floor.

“I knew when I last wrote Rhys,” she explained. “But, I did not tell him. Now I feel guilty.”

“Why?” Nesta asked. “Why keep it a secret?”

Feyre nibbled on her bottom lip. “Is it truly better to tell him?”

Nesta’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...would telling him make him happier or just more upset that he is not here?” she asked. “He says he misses me, that all he thinks about is coming home, and if I tell him that I am with child, it would just be more of a burden. I thought perhaps I should wait, until he returns.”

Nesta nodded. “Well, I think you should let him know. He would want to know, considering he tried so hard to impregnate you to begin with.”

Feyre laughed, pushing her sister in the arm. “Perhaps. I do not know the right answer to anything these days.”

Nesta stared at her hands when she said.  “Would you like to know something that will cheer you up? Perhaps make you laugh?”

Feyre raised a brow. “You are going to tell me something that will make me laugh? That seems unlikely.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “In the last letters we sent, I put a photograph of myself inside.”

Feyre blinked. “Why would that make me laugh?”

Nesta could not control her smile as she said, “Because I was not wearing any clothing.”

Feyre’s mouth fell open before she broke into a fit of laughter. “You? Nesta? You sent Cassian a nude photograph?” 

Nesta nodded, her own laughter sputtering out. “Yes. I wonder if he has received it, yet.”

Feyre put her hands over her mouth. “I cannot believe you did such a thing! How was it? Was it awkward?”

Nesta shook her head. “No, Helion took it when he was here last week, in my room. It was actually quite invigorating. I have never felt so….I don’t know. Powerful.” 

Feyre’s laughter died down as she watched the flames. “How very risque of you.” 

“Indeed,” Nesta agreed, then looked at her sister. “I am happy for you.” She nodded toward her sister’s abdomen. “Truly.”

“Thank you,” Feyre said, patting her sister’s knee. “And I am so very proud of you.”

Nesta looked over at her sister and they both broke into laughter, once more.

They were not certain of much lately, but they were certain that when their worlds were full of the unknown, laughter was the best medication.

~~~~~

Cassian had never seen so much blood.

The explosion happened quickly, no one had seen it coming. At the time, Cassian had his rifle pointed at one of the enemy, and the moment he pulled the trigger, as if on que, the ground exploded.

He was knocked on the ground, into the dirt, his ears ringing as he looked around for his brothers.

Rhysand was on the ground a few yards away, but he was already pulling himself up, rifle in hand. 

To his other side, men lay scattered, motionless.

He called out for Azriel, and when he looked back to Rhysand, his violet eyes were wide and panicked. 

“There!” he shouted, but Cassian could hardly hear him. He turned himself around, pulling himself fully off the ground, as he followed Rhysand’s gaze.

Azriel lay still, his gun a few feet beside him, his helmet having flown from his head. He was covered in blood, how much was actually his, Cassian was not certain. 

They were all covered in blood.

Their fellow man’s.

Their enemies.

Cassian and Rhysand ran to his side, sinking down in the dirt alongside him. Rhysand instantly had his back to them both, his gun raised, protecting them. 

Cassian pressed his ear to Azriel’s chest. “He’s still breathing.”

Rhysand gave a curt nod, the only sign he had heard as he pulled the trigger, firing upon any threat coming toward them. 

Cassian found the gaping wound coming from his side and tore open his shirt, where blood was flowing. “Fuck,” Cassian breathed, pressing his hands down on the wound to stop the flow. “Fuck! Rhys….Rhys, we have to get him out of here. We have to get him to medical.” 

“Can you carry him?” Rhysand called, still holding up his gun, not looking behind him. 

Cassian panicked. He was losing blood. So much blood.

He tossed his gun up to Rhysand, who took it and put it around his shoulder without taking his concentration from his own. Cassian quickly pulled off his shirt and tore it into long strips, his helmet discarded. He bundled up a few of the strips and pressed them into the wound, then tied a few together to make it long enough to wrap around Azriel’s abdomen a few times. Once he tied it tight, he nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I can.”

“Okay,” Rhysand called. “Let me know when to walk, I’ve got you both.”

The blood was still pouring from the wound, although not as bad.

With a grunt, Cassian lifted Azriel off the ground, carrying him over his shoulder. “Fuck, you heavy bastard,” he groaned, getting himself into a steady position. “Alright, Rhys, I’m moving!”

Then they both were moving, Azriel unconscious, but his heart still beating within his chest, against Cassian’s back. He was heavy, and nearly Cassian’s height, but Cassian did not let himself think of it as he hurried through the gunfire and around those that were already dead.

“Do not die on me,” Cassian grunted, Azriel’s weight starting to slow him down, “Do not fucking die on me. Elain would kill me if I let you die. Do not die, you hear me? You’re going to be a dad, do not fucking die on your kid!” Cassian yelled, eyes still ahead, blurred with tears but determined. “Do not fucking die on me!” 

Rhysand’s gun fired from behind them. 

“We’re almost to the clear!” Cassian called.

“I don’t see many more from Hybern!” Rhysand called back. 

Cassian could feel the warmth of Azriel’s blood sinking through the shreds of his shirt, onto his own skin, down his arm.

He suddenly became lighter a moment later, once they neared the end of the valley. Rhysand, with both rifles slung across his chest, said, “I’ll take his legs, you take his arms.”

Cassian nodded, putting Azriel down as gently as he could among the grass. He put his fingers against Azriel’s neck and swore before putting his forearms underneath Azriel’s underarms.

Rhysand took him beneath the knees and they lifted him from the ground, and they hurried, as fast as they could, across the remaining distance.

When they reached the camp, the medical tent was the first to appear.

They brought Azriel inside and a nurse yelled for a table to be cleared. Rhysand and Cassian put him down, then both stepped back to let the nurses swarm him.

“He’s going to be okay, yeah?” Rhysand asked, face paled. “He’s still breathing? He’s going to be okay?”

No one answered him, which only made Cassian ask, louder, “Just tell us he’ll fucking make it!” 

A nurse pressed her hands against the newly unraveled wound as she said, calmly, “Yes, he’s still breathing.”

“That doesn’t answer my fucking question,” Cassian spat. 

Rhysand met him at his side and started to pull Cassian back. “Let them work.”

Rhysand’s hands were surprisingly calm as Cassian turned to him, Rhys’ face covered in the blood of others and dirt, his hair drenched in sweat and wild. 

“He can’t die, Rhys,” Cassian breathed.

“I know,” Rhysand said, taking Cassian’s face in his hands. “I know, alright? So we have to let the nurses work. Yeah? We have to let the nurses work, Cass.” 

Cassian nodded, and Rhysand did not let go of Cassian’s face until his breathing began to even.

A soldier poked his head into the tent a moment later and said, “Hybern retreated. It is done for the day.”

The nurses gave a sign of understanding and the soldier went away. Cassian had not even heard them coming back, had not even heard the shouts of victory from the outside. 

“You two may stay, if you wish, but you have to sit to the side,” a nurse said, the one with her hands against Azriel’s wound.

Cassian nodded as he and Rhysand went to the side of the tent and slumped to the ground. 

Neither of them spoke as they waited. 

~~~~~

Hours passed, the day had gone and turned into night, and he did not open his eyes. The nurses had sterilized the wound the best they could and sewed his skin shut. He had lost a lot of blood. 

Rhysand looked at Cassian every once in a while, but neither of them said a word, neither of them dared. Cassian still sat with his chest bare, covered in filth, dried blood matting his hair to his forehead. Rhysand assumed he did not look much better. 

The minutes were passing too slowly, it was agonizing. Rhysand had killed more than he thought he would have to since arriving at Hybern. The thought was unnerving, but he tried not to dwell on it. He was protecting himself, protecting Azriel and Cassian. 

“If he dies, how would I ever go back?” Cassian whispered. Face glowing in the lanterns that surrounded them. “How could I stand there, in front of Elain, and Feyre, and Nesta, and tell them that Azriel died?”

Rhysand cleared his throat, his gaze falling to his hands where he began picking off the dried, crimson coat. “I don’t know.”

Cassian nodded, eyes empty. “They have a baby on the way, Rhys.”

“Yeah,” Rhysand breathed, not bothering to wipe away the tear that fell down his tanned cheek.

Cassian shook his head, but said no more.

When the silence became unbearable, Rhysand stood and walked to Azriel’s side. His chest was still rising and falling, his wound closed. Rhysand reached up to feel his forehead. He did not feel feverish. 

“Before we left,” Rhysand began, quietly, “me and Feyre tried, for a baby. Seeing you here now…” his words trailed off and he shook his head. “Elain needs you. That baby needs you. Fight for them, yeah?” he used his torn shirtsleeve to wipe at his eyes, his nose. “If you can hear me, you have to fight for them. Because if it were me in your place, and Feyre was pregnant, that woman would cut off my fucking balls.” 

Cassian stood and joined them at Azriel’s other side. Rhysand knew Cassian was thinking of their conversation on the ship. I wanted to give her a baby, to look at, to love, to remind her of me, if I don’t make it back. 

Azriel’s eyes rolled behind his eyelids, and both Rhysand and Cassian froze. 

“Az?” Rhysand whispered.

Azriel’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. He stirred, then groaned, softly.

Cassian and Rhysand said nothing as they watched, as they waited. 

Rhysand thought he would collapse once Azriel’s eyes fluttered open and met his gaze. “Rhys. Cass….”

Rhsyand nodded toward Cassian where Azriel’s eyes slowly trailed to. Cassian stood completely still, as if he were afraid to breathe. 

Azriel let out a breath as his eyes closed, once more. 

But his hands found theirs. One in Rhysand’s, the other in Cassian’s. 

“My side…” Azriel began, as if each word brought him pain, “fucking hurts.” 

Cassian, unable to control himself, began to laugh, and when he couldn’t stop, Rhysand started to laugh, too.

Azriel’s hands tightened around theirs, smiling faintly, eyes still closed. 

That battlefield had been littered with the dead, husbands and sons and fathers who would be no more.

But Azriel would not be one of them.

They promised to stay together.

They would stay together. 

At least, for now.

~~~~~

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty @mariamuses @a-happybird @amusicalbookworm @manoncrochanblackbeak @alifletcher2012 @candid-confetti @fandoms-everywhere-united @mis-lil-red@littlehoneyybee @abillionlittlepieces @impossiblescissorspeachpaper @awesomelena555 @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @tswaney17 @jemma-nessian-and-elriel @rhysandsrightknee @gendryaforthemasses @dayanna-hatter @thebluemartini @welcometothespeaknowworldtour @julemmaes @christiashadows @sleeping-and-books @itsme-malin @agnez312 @cat5313 @amren-courtofdreams @chemica @empress-ofbloodshed @islamonna @illyrianbeauty  @sleeping-and-books @queenofxhearts @sleeping-and-books @aedionashryver-wolfofthenorth @queenofillea1 @mynewdreamwasyou @levivlio @hellolenas @burritowithfeels @that-other-pineapple @girl-who-reads-the-books @raghad-50725@musicmaam @rowaelinforeverworld @negativenesta  @welcometothespeaknowworldtour @gloriouspaintercreatorbandit@sannelovesreading @nerdperson524 @ireallyshouldsleeprn @nerdperson524 @mariamuses @gorl-power @booklover242 @rowaelinforeverworld @regular-nessian-trash @izou1204 @aelin-rowan-whitehorn @opheliatheemerald @eversincebeirut @musicmaam @ladybookwrm​ @santas-dwynwen​ @starryandbooks​ @candid-confetti​

[connerluthorkent]

I was tagged by @esperata and @gottaread2. Thanks so much y’all! 

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world. tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

1. Only Fools Rush In

Suffice to say, my screwball comedy magnum opus, lol. This is my longest published fic by far, and it honestly is just an exercise in me indulging myself in fic with all the rom-com tropes I love: slow burn, agonized mutual pining, bed sharing, hiding together in small spaces, brief fake dating, two near-miss kisses thus far, etc., etc. It’s been such a joy both to write and talk to people in the fandom about. <3

2. Love Like A Diamond on an Endless Chain

I’m a sucker for first time fics, both reading and writing them. This fic deviates from that pattern and serves as one of the first times I’ve written an established relationship fic. I’m really proud of the way it turned out, with the combination of sweetness and angst and figuring out how to make a relationship work striking a good balance, I feel. It also made me realize I want to write more established relationship fic for Oswald and Ed (honestly, these boys deserve it), so it’s opened up new creative possibilities, as well. 

3. Everything is Different the Second Time Around

This fic has become one of my favorites/proudest with time and reflection because, fun fact, I wasn’t sure this fic was even particularly good when I first published it. It ended up being one of the longest things I had written at the time and was really just a meditation on some things I wanted closure from in Gotham and Ed and Oswald’s relationship, and with some time and space apart from it, I really think it does a nice job of exploring some of their unresolved issues left dangling by the show, with hurt/comfort hospital bedside vigils as an added bonus. I also love the exploration of potential almost friendship between Lee and Ed here, which writing fics like this have made me more and more fond of as a dynamic. 

4. The Rules of Engagement

I’m a huge fan of Ed antics, and this is primo Ed antic action. It was also fun to (spoilers) explore the tension and possibility of betrayal that looms in Gotham, but ultimately subvert that in something that is typical Ed (multiple times in the show, he pretends to betray someone in order to actually prove loyalty, and so having him do that here felt like a signature character move). I’m also a sucker in Nygmobblepot for setting up Oswald’s worst expectations just to have Ed come through and subvert them, it’s always just such a fun, at times touching moment. And here, that small moment also exposes some of Oswald’s vulnerabilities and the complicated uncertainties present in their relationship all alongside promises to keep proving themselves to each other in the future.

5. Sights on Someone Else

See the above about Ed subverting Oswald’s worst expectations. I’m a sucker for some jealousy in fic, but the most enjoyable part about writing this was having Oswald’s tentative jealousy be so utterly and completely unfounded. (And having someone flirt with Ed when he only has eyes for Oswald is honestly just too much fun.)

I’m tagging @orcaputt, @yanderebeat, @bri-notthecheese, @geniusbee, @thesoullessfuck, @arcanemoody, @irisbleufic, @space-cadet-jean, @nervousobservationland, @thefinaloffer, @ink-and-charcoal, and anyone else who would like to do this! Take some time to love on yourself and your work. <3

[despairingvacation]

SURE, AND ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS DIE. [ MOTIVE 4 ]

“Perfect.” The figure speaks in a low tone to themselves, locked in a room inaccessible, and hidden, from the general public. The figure covers xer grinning lips, as xey stare down at the machine beneath them- knowing perfectly well what it’s for. It didn’t take very long for him to figure out how to use it, and use it to their advantage, she would. 

The figure looks towards the monitors that surround his desk, clicking through idly to get a good view of what just about everyone is doing. 

Date and Grimnir are in the kitchen - per usual. 

Taokaka guards the garden, making sure nobody comes to destroy it.

Everybody else appears to be in their rooms. Had that last trial truly been as bad as it was to make everyone hole themselves up in their room?

Entertaining. 

 It had been a good week since anybody had received a command, and The Figure can tell that everyone is on guard. On edge, waiting for something to happen.

Because they all know that they’re going to receive something, sooner or later. It was just a matter of when, and truth be told - The figure had been waiting for so long for something exciting to happen. 

Let’s make it happen now… Yes? 

“GOOOOOOD AFTERNOON, FOLKS!” Fake Oswald’s grating voice fills the halls, capturing your attention. Everyone holds their breath- knowing what’s going to be coming at any minute, now. It had only been a week since Pewter’s fatal murders - and his...admittedly, rather disturbing execution. But Oswald, and by extension, Willie- was not the type to allow for any kind of rest. 

In fact, it had felt as though everyone was starting to get along again, forgetting everything that had happened just a week ago. Tensions were high, of course- but not enough to cause any form of trouble.

Shintaro’s concert was all but grating to the mascot, too. Imagine going out of your way to bring some form of distraction to the fact you’re literally trapped in a game where you could die at any moment? Yeah, can’t relate. 

“I gotta be real with ‘ya, I’m gettin’ real bored of just sittin’ ‘round waitin’ for y’all to do somethin’. I’ve gotten pretty used t’seein’ the lot’ve ‘ya ignoring the fact you are LITERALLY in a game where you could die at any moment, so y’know what? Let’s play another game! How ‘bout another round of SIMON SAYS?” 

As the words Simon Says rings throughout the halls, a twinge of anger fills everyone. 

The Figure watches, laughing to herself as he leans a hand against his cheek. 

“Nah. Just kiddin’, I gotta be honest with ‘ya, as fun as Simon Says was, it’d be pretty borin’ if I just introduced it to ‘ya again. So let’s play another game, huh? Y’all ever heard’ve a lil game called MAFIA?” 

...Mafia? 

The Figure smiles to himself. His fingers press the buttons, controlling what Oswald does on the monitors, before she speaks into the microphone - getting out her plans for their specific motive in mind. 

“The rules are pretty simple. Shortly after this announcement, y’all are gonna receive a specific role. If yer mafia, yer goin’ t’go an’ vote someone off. If yer a doctor, y’get the chance to protect someone. If yer just a villager, then all y’gotta do is just sit an’ pray that you don’t get selected to be voted off.” A pause. 

“What does votin’ someone off mean? I don’t know. Maybe they just simply disappear. Maybe yer votin’ someone to get out of this buildin’ and return to civilization. Or maybe yer votin’ for them to die. Who knows? I ain’t tellin’.” The Oswald on the screen smiles, in a rather teasing manner towards everyone still alive. 

“Of course...y’could always just end this motive prematurely by figuring out who the mafia is.” The Figure speaks into her microphone, Oswald repeating her exact words. The grin on her face doesn’t fade. 

“Just kiddin’! You didn’t  think it’d be that easy. Did’ya?  Unless y’want everyone to just disappear and possibly end up dead, I’m expectin’ one’ve ‘ya to go an’ sacrifice another person just to get all’ve these premature disappearances to stop. Are ‘ya willin’ to go and do that? Or are y’gonna go an’ make me do all of the dirty work myself?” 

The Figure pauses. He glances over towards the button and the machine resting close by them, and stand up. They grab the microphone they speak into, sitting down in front of the machine, fingers circling the buttons to turn it on and release the gas from inside of it. 

“...In fact, just t’prove t’ya that I mean business with this motive...how ‘bout we start right now?” 

> YOUR WATCH VIBRATES TO CATCH YOUR ATTENTION- SAVE FROM FOUR YOU, INDICATING THAT YOU ARE A VILLAGER. IF YOUR BRACELET SHOCKED YOU, YOU ARE THE MAFIA, OR DOCTOR. LOOK AT YOUR WATCH TO FIND OUT WHICH ONE YOU ARE.

…. …. …. 

> SEVERAL MINUTES LATER, AFTER DISCOVERING YOUR ROLE, A GAS FILLS THE ROOM AND RENDERS YOU UNCONSCIOUS FOR THE NEXT FEW HOURS. 

??? / 33 REMAIN…? 

-------------------

Hello, hello! Welcome to chapter four’s motive, a very fun and simple game of MAFIA! AKA: one of the mods here really misses playing on epicmafia so you’re all being forced into a week long game of mafia!

Just like the previous chapters, if you would like to offer yourself up as this chapter’s victim or culprit, then please be sure to message Willie’s discord. You will have  two hours from the motive going up to get your message in. The cut-off time to let the mods know you are interested in it is going to be 7:40 PM PST. 

If you are pulled for either culprit or victim, you will not be allowed to talk about it with those still alive, unless you need to do so in order to plot with a character close to your’s. 

You are allowed to continue your threads pre-motive drop. 

Unless you plan to kill off your muse via NG code, remember to keep your NG code in mind! ;] 

MOTIVE NOTES--;; 

Just as Oswald stated: We are going to be playing a week long game of Mafia! What does this mean? Simple! A small amount of you will be chosen to be our “mafia,” as well as an even smaller amount of you being chosen to be our “doctor.” The rest of you will be “villagers.” 

As stated at the end of the drabble - a form of sleeping gas fills the room you are in. Because of this, your character can not react to the motive immediately like the previous times. A message will be going up when you are able to react. 

Because we are going to have a little bit of downtime between this drabble going up and you having a chance to have your character react to the motive - you may use this time to ask any questions you have regarding the motive. 

IF YOU ARE SELECTED TO BE MAFIA OR DOCTOR: You will receive a DM from Willie’s account. If you do not receive a DM, your character’s role is villager. 

IF YOU ARE SELECTED TO BE MAFIA: You will be placed in a group chat with other members of the mafia and discuss who you want gone. Whoever everyone agrees on will disappear.

IF YOU ARE SELECTED TO BE DOCTOR: All doctors will be allowed  to “save” one person every night. They are allowed to select themselves and can continuously choose to save one person throughout every night. 

For the rest of our villagers, you don’t do anything special. Just sit and pray you don’t get chosen. :) 

At random, Oswald will appear in the chatroom asking those who are online to discuss who they believe may be the mafia. You are free to vote for nobody, if you truly don’t have any idea who the mafia could be. However, if somebody is suspected of being mafia and a majority of votes go for them - they too will disappear, and their role will not be revealed. 

IF YOU ARE SELECTED TO DISAPPEAR: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SHARE THE FATE OF YOUR CHARACTER. You also will not be allowed to start new threads if you disappear. Unlike culprit and victim pulls, you will not be allowed to use a skip if you are selected. If you are selected, then you are selected. :) 

Your character is not allowed to reveal what their role is to anybody, no matter what. By extension, you are not allowed to reveal what your role is to anybody OOC, save from your friends who may be watching the game. 

How do we stop this motive…!? Simple! Discover who the mafia is! 

...Just kidding. Even if the mafia is discovered, the motive isn’t going to stop until someone is killed. Are you going to just sit there and watch your fellow coworkers disappear? Who knows what’s happening to them…! You better sacrifice someone before all of you disappear one by one! 

Just so we ensure that everybody doesn’t disappear way too quickly, someone will only be disappearing every other day. For example: the first night someone will be disappearing will be today. The following day, thursday, nobody will be disappearing - BUT Oswald does have a chance of appearing in the chatroom to ask if anyone has any suspicions on who a member of the mafia is. The following day, Friday, someone will disappear. The cycle will repeat this way until it’s time to discover a body.

[trash-box]

veronica mars

> the intrigue of the season felt completely lost in what’s easily the weakest mystery the show has offered thus far. i always felt like veronica and keith worked best when there was a personal connection to what and who they were investigating, so to boil it all down to it being a “job” was just kind of like... okay next

> sidelining wallace and mac (which explains tina majorino’s absence) was irritable, especially considering we got patton oswald and his band of weirdos instead

> we’re dangerously close to losing kirby howell baptiste to a m*rvel movie, aren’t we? (we missed her on this season of killing eve)

> keith and jk simmons’ character had strange sexual chemistry

> parker’s cameo was dumb

> i think leo’s the only one who really understands veronica’s line of work and what her nature is (other than mac)

> veronica jr. is fine but like... is she really about to sit and work for free at mars investigations

> if you want to talk about how writing has “failed a character” look no further than weevil

> bring back charisma carpenter

> why is logan a spy? and also why do y’all confuse jason dohring’s chemistry with kristen bell for the unexplained retribution logan never had in three previous seasons? this boy was a possessive, narcissistic MONSTER who never atoned for anything. he only ever wanted veronica if it was on his terms.

> veronica needed to grow the hell up and leave neptune behind.

> logan’s death makes perfect sense. he was veronica’s anchor to neptune, her assault, lily’s death, and pretty much everything that’s gone awry in her life (aside from her mom). in order for her to move on and reflect and finally process these things, he had to leave her life for good and that simply could not happen without his demise. the last scene is very indicative of a woman who’s not angry, but finally processing the things that have made her angry.

> also, fuck scientology

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Gotham” S5E4

Not in chronological order, yaaaayyyy...

Also the other reaction posts for Episodes 8-10 are still a work in progress so hang on!

My sister watched it with me (as well as another episode in S5 and we both plan on watching the series finale together) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font.  Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

AN:   I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

This is going to be fun.

“Shut up and die [Oswald].”  *starts singing “Waking Up in Vegas” by Katy Perry*

You are really going to hell.

I am.  It’s a curse.

*Recap shows Haven blowing up*  Welp.

Ahhhh that freaking shot [of the burning teddy bear]

Hell of a shot to open with

MMMMM....

Also that one [of the people getting out].  That one’s good.

This whole opening just leaves you so numb.

Right?  Holy shit.

And I do like that the other villains are so shocked and horrified at this.

Right, yeah.

Yeah, like you have Penguin and Ed and the other people are like “Oh my God...”

Yeah...

Oh you better not-

*Barbara points her gun at an unsuspecting Oswald*  Oh come on, his back is turned!

Not right nooowww!

That’s bullshit!

*both look uncomfortable when we hear a baby crying in the background*

Everyone’s just kinda grabbing each other!

*grabs my sister and shakes her by the shoulders*  It’s like “Jim!”  “Harvey!”  “Oswald!”

*one more time*  “Bruce!”  No, I’m kidding.

*laughs*  Christ!

Yeah, whenever they use orange lighting in this show, it’s like “Ah yes, give me more!”

Except you know it means shit’s about to go down.

I know.

Or some shit has already gone down.

*Jim looks at the ruins of Haven*  Shiiit...

*Harvey hands back the badge Jim gave to Will*  Nooooooo....

*sighs*

Nooooo... come on.  God dang it.

*Opening titles roll*  So yeah, how’s that for an opening?

Noooo...

“As of now, death toll stands at 311.”  Jesus!

“49 injured, more than 2 dozen left unaccounted for.”  *very softly*  Oh my God.

I swear to God she’s [Secretary Walker] an al Ghul somewhere.

AN:  This was actually recorded a few weeks ago.  Little did I know...

“But whoever destroyed that building can't destroy the hope we've built.”  That’s not gonna do shit!

Yeah, that one lady in the crowd’s like “Oh my God...”  SAAAME!

That’s not gonna do shit, Jim!

“How are you [Jim] gonna stop it from happening again?!?”  Good question!  Honestly right now, Jim, you’re not lookin’ so hot.

I know!

Luciusss!!

“Nothing makes sense anymore.”  Someone say “It’s Gotham.”  Please God!

“SELINA!”  They just leave his [Bruce’s] ass there...

God... poor Bruce.

That’s gonna be nightmare inducing.

Yeahhh-

*Some of Ecco’s goons come in*  OH NOOO COME ON!

Ohhh the Ecco goons!

Can I preemptively say “[expletive] that noise?”

*chuckles*

Also, I love this bit right here:

*laughs when Bruce tries throwing a wrench at a goon and missing him by a long shot*  Worth the shot, buddy!

Ugghh, so close!

*Alfred comes to the rescue*  AL-FRED!

YES!!

LET’S GO!

YESSS!

“I was afraid you didn’t get my signal.  Lucius said the range was only a couple of miles.”  Where’d he get that?!?

*at same time*  What is that?!?

We already get that he’s Batman:  he’s pulling solutions out of his ass.

It’s Lucius.

I guess.

“How did that happen?”  “I [Bruce] let my guard down.”  *aside* You do that a lot, buddy!  You’ll do it more in the future!

“She’s [Selina] gone after Jeremiah, alone.”  *silently hurrahs*

OK, why is she [Barbara] wearing like a dominatrix outfit?

I mean, her last outfit was covered in filth so... also she has Penguin’s hair.

Yeah but- the leather corset?  Really?  C’mon...

“We heard people talking about a shady guy working around Haven before it blew.”  “This is Gotham.  You’re [Barbara] gonna have to do better than ‘shady guy.’“  *both giggle*

“How about a location? A building in the northeast corner of Harlow Park. He says the guy's holed up there.”  Also, they really need to release an official map for this because I have no idea where everything is.

They really need to.

Like I know that they use the actual No Man’s Land map

Right... but this continuity strays so much from regular DC continuity that not all of that might apply.

Yeah.  It’s like “Oh the Soothsayers are in the Granton district in the Dark Zone” and I’m like “Well where is that?!?”

Yeah.

Amusement Mile?!?  I know Ace Chemicals is in the Dark Zone.

Of course it is!

It’s near Crime Alley.

‘Course it damn well is!

But Crime Alley’s in Firefly’s zone.  I think, yeah.

Que interesante...

Ohhh that lightinggg!

*Penguin and Co. wait for Jim in the precinct*  Ohh c’mon... c’mon dude.

Digging the eyepatch on that guy [henchman] though

*mouths along with Oswald saying “woefully apparent”* 

“…you [Jim] are outmanned, outgunned, and out of options.”  *sings*  OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED!

Hey yo, I’m gonna need a right hand man!

*groans*  I’m already dreading this.

“Take all you can carry.”  Arm yourselves to the teeth.  You’re gonna need it.

Also, they did not kill the dog.

Oh thank God.

Just to let you know!

“WE’RE NOT GONNA KILL THE DOG!”

TZE CHUN, THANK YOU!

“What do you [Jim] say, partner?”  Don’t ever say that again.

Yee-haw.

You’ve yee-d your last haw.

*laughs*

*Ed wakes up*  Nooo, who gives a shit about Ed?  Who gives a shit?  I don’t give a shit!

*aside*  It’s gonna become a lot more important.

I like this music here [when Ed investigates the suitcase] actually

*both end up scatting it*

Just sounds like they’re banging a bunch of coconuts together.

*both sing*  BIG ONES, SMALL ONES, SOME AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD!

*imitates Ed saying “I’ve been on a trip!” hand gesture included*

*both tilt our heads in unison to read the message on Ed’s hand*

“KNOWS WHAT?!?”  Me.

Oh my God...

That’s the campaign poster [of Oswald] in S3!

Also I like how the cop cars have the grills and bars on the front and on the windshield.

Yeah... smart move!

“To hell with Penguin.  Haven wasn't your fault.”  “I [Jim] told the people it was safe. I made them into a target.”  You know Penguin’s right there!  He can hear you.

*One of the cop cars drive past Jim*  Don’t park in the puddle!  Noooo that’s what they diddd-

No they didn’t.  Nevermind.

*giggles when Oswald pulls out a megaphone*

“There goes the element of surprise.”  *both laugh*

Oh my God, he freaking winked at Jim!  Oswald, you-

Oh noooo...

*Another shot at the group*  Yep.

“We’re sitting ducks out here.”  “And one Penguin.  Hey Oswald, why don’t you crawl out there, grab that bullhorn, tell him to come out here quietly?”  *both laugh*

*both imitate Oswald’s insulted “Yooouu…”*

“Pretty cozy up here.  Thanks guys.”  C’mon buddy!  C’mon!

*claps hands*  Give us him!

Give us the goods!

Give us!

“Zsasz?!?”  Yassss....

“Oh hey guys, what’s up?”  *both laugh*

Oh my God, I’ve missed him!

*Victor blows Oswald a kiss*  YAASSSS!!

ZSAAAAAAAAAASZZZ...

ZSAAAAAAASZZZZ....

ZSAAAASSSZZZZ HONEY!

ZSAAAASSZZZZ!

*giggles*  Yaaasss....

Oh my God what.  Is that Selina?!?

No, that’s Ed.

Freakin- what is it with him and the bad disguises?!?

But like he got through the entire precinct like that!

Everyone wasn’t paying attention!  If they were paying attention, they would’ve just ripped it [the blanket] off of him!

I know!

“I can still see your face.”  “Not when I do this, you can’t.”

*laughs*

It’s literally that!

It is.

*Ed runs into Lucius*  Ohhh yess!  I really like these two interacting.

Lucius!

“I am given and I am taken.  I was there from your first breath and I will follow you until your death.”  Oh screw off!

Your name.

“Call it a personal matter.”  I love that!

His little poses!

Yes yes!

“Well I'm [Ed] guessing you [Lucius] don't want money, because, uh, it's worthless.  I don't tend to carry snacks on me.  And if I had any bullets, I would just shoot you and take the folder.”  I really want somebody to be like “I’ll give you a load of bullets for a box of Cheez-Its.”  “DONE!”

*laughs*  Would you like the other half of this cosmic brownie?

My God, THIS MAN GOES FREE!

You know who Chris Chalk kinda reminds me of?  The ally guy from “Conquest of the Planet of the Apes?”

Yeah, it does...

Hari Rhodes!  That’s the actor!

*giggles insanely when Ed tries to take the file from Lucius and utterly fails*

What the frick?

“I [Victor] did not make that building go boom, Jim.”  *both laugh*

What a way to say that.

“You gave up any shred of honor long ago!  Why should we believe a snake like you?!?”  “Because I would never take credit for somebody’s else’s work?”  *raises pen in air in agreement*

Well duh!”

“Is this about Sofia Falcone?  You should really move past that.  It’s not healthy.”  *both giggle*

This man...

This man!  He was probably raised in the South.  He would probably go “Hey y’all!  You’ve yee-d your last haw...”

Noooo noooo... he feels more like a California guy.

Yeah... *starts singing the theme song for “The OC”*

*Everyone starts firing at Zsasz*  Zsasz is just like “Nope!’

“Nope!”

That’s the most casual duck.  Just rolls out of the way!

Come on, Jim!

I’m kinda wondering why they never got “Um guys, there’s a freaking concrete wall between windows.  He could just hide behind that!”

Or they could just like aim at an angle.

Yeah...

Get in the room!

This isn’t rocket science.

*both crack up when Zsasz goes for a drink break*

*still laughing*  What an asshole!

*Jim body slams Zsasz to the ground*  WHAA-

LET’S GO!

Right through the snack table!

And they destroyed his bowl of chips.

“[Victor] Glad to see you’re still with us.”  This man has never given a shit in his entire life.

“Thank you, thank you.  You were great.  Glad there are no hard feelings.”  I’ll be here all week.  Try the veal!

*laughs*  That was priceless.

“Allow me [Oswald] to deal with him [Victor].”  No!

No!

“If he did this, I need to know if it was a part of something larger.”  Jim, you’re always a part of something larger!  READ THE SCENE!

Oh my God, they got Zsasz sitting in the back.  Zsasz is probably gonna like try to strike up a conversation.

“So, how was life?”  “Oh my God, shut up....”

It’s that bit in “Civil War:”  “So you like cats.”

“Sam.”

This is Tony Stank!

*Selina follows Ecco and the new followers into the work site*  Oh here we go, here we go.  Here we go!

Oh Jesus... the belly of the beast.

Also, that place must smell like just terrible.

Right?!??!  If this place doesn’t smell like an armpit, then...

*Sykes dies*  ...oh God.

“Well, not with that attitude you’re not.”  *leans far and away from screen*

Bitch.

“Everyone, let’s reach inside and dig a little deeper, shall we?”  You prick.

*turns towards me*  Don’t you dare [sing]

*leans away when Jeremiah licks blood off his knife*  HI THANKS NO BYE!

*both groan in disgust*

YOU NASTY!  YOU TWO [Jeremiah and Ecco] DESERVE EACH OTHER, ya- mmmmmm!

Honestly though, I am kink-shaming.  I am kink-shaming so hard.

*chuckles*  They’re carrying his [Sykes] body out in a wheelbarrow.

OK, but like the Tim Curry voice- that’s an affectation!  He’s just putting that on to sound impressive.

*laughs when Jeremiah stops talking to himself and awkwardly clears his throat when Ecco walks in*

He’s like “Mm-mm!  Sorry!  Helloooo!”

*Jeremiah grabs Ecco by the neck to inspect her scar*  Noooooo...

He’s lookin’ right at the bullet...

Eeuughh...

“Bruce Wayne, and his sidekick Curls?  Or is he the sidekick?”  That’s still such a great line.

“And Curls can walk.  Really well.  Especially… for a paraplegic.”  *done*

*softly laughs in shock*  Oh my God...

*Jeremiah purrs appreciatively at Ecco*  How have these two not eaten each other alive at this point-

*sinks down in chair when Jeremiah dismisses Ecco*  Oh my God, that was a ghost kiss!  I HATE YOU!

“OK recruits, let’s do like my daddy did before my sixth birthday and move out!”  *both laugh*

That is a hell of a line!

*Selina follows Ecco and her group*  Yeah, you see him [Jeremiah] in the background just whip around!

Yeaahhh!

That was like a horror movie thing, where the monster just whips around.  You can imagine a little scare chord in the background.

Right?!?

Also, I like how they establish that relationship in like under a minute.

Yeah...

Like yes, that is how you do it.

That was good.

Eat that, “Suicide Squad!”

“Evidence of deflagration would suggest something with a slower burn rate, like gunpowder or nitroglycerin.”  “But for this level of destruction, that would require a bomb that's 20 cubic feet of explosive material.”  Or a baZOOKA!

People just really love their RPGs in this show.

People just really love bazookas.  Bane uses one in the Bane Red Trailer

“Man walks into a room, alone, and is later found murdered.  There are no windows, and one door, which is locked from the inside.”  *whispers*  Toxic gas.  No I’m kidding.

“The bomb was the building.”  *imitates the way Ed says “the bomb”*

I love that.

*Ed and Lucius figure out how the building blew up*  This makes the forensics class part of me just so happy.

“Ow!  That’s a really nice table.”  *both chuckle*

“We got a dozen witnesses that saw you [Victor] walk out of that building before it went kabooey.”  *in unison*  Kabooey.

“Hey, do you guys have any canned peaches? Man, I'd trade an arm and a leg for that right now. Not mine, somebody else's.”  *both laugh*

Man, I missed him!

I know!  I’m gonna miss him so much!

“And, guys, those were warning shots. I mean, if I really wanted to kill you you'd be dead.”  If you guys could aim in this show.

Right?

I mean it’s not like the *pretends to shoot around something*

“If I blew up a building full of people, I would have covered every inch of my body in sweet, sweet scars.”  Can we see them?

*gives me a weird look*

His scars!  We only see them once [way back in S1].

I’d [Victor] let Alvarez do it.  He’s handsome.”  *both chuckle*

OK, but if the Gotham fandom isn’t already shipping them, I’m gonna be very disappointed.

*tries not to say anything without laughing*

Your stunned silence is very reassuring.

“Looks like you need a new suspect.”  *in Southern drawl*  Looks like it wasn’t Zsasz!

*Oswald arrives at the precinct*  Go to hell!

I love that shot of him.

“I know the wheels of justice turn slowly, so I'm here to provide - a modicum of grease.”  A what of what?

He said “grace” like “grease.”

What of what?  I don’t know.  I don’t know diction anymore.

“Oh, I did not expect you to go soft, Jim... Actually, I did, which is why I didn’t come alone.” OH COME ON!

*nods*

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!?

“Torturing- torturing Zsasz into confessing won't give the people justice.”  And it’s not a very effective way of getting answers either!  Because they’re gonna say anything to make it stop.

Also, take a shot every time Oswald refers to Jim as “old friend.”

You’d be dead.

“There will be a trial!”  I still really wanted an episode like the “Trial” episode from the animated series.  That would have been so cool!

*waves at screen when Zsasz gets escorted out*  Bye Zsasz... you’re gonna be high as a kite the next time we see you.

We see him more in this episode.

OK.

The last episode he’s in, he’s just like “Whaauggh!”

*laughs*  What a way to go out though.

Harvey just tackles you?

I mean, if I’m gonna go out, I’m gonna go out high as a paper kite too.

*gives her the strangest look*

*laughs*  You’re judging me so hard!

*shakes head*  I can’t believe you.

I say that like I know what the hell getting high even feels like.

I love that this lazy ass [Haven bomber] just like leaves all the stuff there.  He’s like “Oh, we gotta scatter it!  Kick!”

“I truly hope you find whoever did this and make them pay.”  So he [Ed] didn’t do it.

*shakes my head like the liar I am*

OK...

“I appreciate your help, Ed.  Couldn’t have done it without you.  If you tell anyone I said that, I will deny it.”  *chuckles*

[Ed] You have one friend.  Kind of.

He so badly wants to say “No, god dammit!” but he can’t!

Censorship!

This show isn’t rated high enough.  Let Edward say [expletive]

*wheezes*  He’s not that kind of person who would say that.

Oswald would!

He would.  I made that meme thing!

Yeah that’s true.

Ed would catch himself and go “Oh... fart.”

“PENN, WHERE THE F-”

*both laugh*

Oh, that was brilliant*

*The crowd at the trial becomes unruly*  Fight, fight, fight!

Oh God...

“Look at them, Harvey.”  Not another speech!

Now see, that [mural behind the staircase in Oswald’s place] is like Bioshock!  That big-  isn’t there a big mural in the-

Yeahhh, in the church, yeah!

For the workforce?

I dunno, this is more like OG Bioshock instead of Bioshock Infinite.

Yeah.

Because we’re past the religious stuff.

Ohh the purple lighting behind him [Oswald].

“So, will I [Victor] be appointed a lawyer?  I feel like my rights are being violated.”  I mean, technically they are.

Wait, they actually have somewhere there like transcribing the whole thing [trial]!

I also like that he’s [Oswald] wearing the sash that the choir members wore.

Yep...

He [Oswald] paid off the witnesses though!  This is-

No!  Yeah, they said money is useless, so why would Oswald pay them off?

True... but this is obviously just a sham trial.

It is!  It’s a kangaroo court.  I love “The Dark Knight Rises.”

Also I like that goon in the background that looks like Neo from “The Matrix.”  With the long coat- no, that’s Morpheus.  Nevermind.

“It was a bomb.”  *chuckles*  It was a big one.

“For months now, you've been hearing me [Jim] say help is coming.”  IT AIN’T!

“This is not justice.”  This is where I pull out that quote from the first “Dark Phoenix” trailer and just insert it in here.

“I’ll [Oswald] consider that your [Jim’s] closing argument.”  That was like his opening and closing argument!

Though it did put me in mind of a much better speech from “Camelot”:  “They have forgotten justice, they want revenge, revenge the most worthless of causes.”

*Crowd calls Zsasz guilty*  What the hell were you [Jim] expecting?

Welp.

And Zsasz is like “Great...”  Good job, Jim!

Thanks for that, Jim!

Great job!

There is a guillotineeee!

Oh come onnn!

They probably got it from like the natural history museum. 

Sheesh...

Also, why would they have a guillotine in the natural history museum of Gotham?

Because this place is [expletive] up all the way up to the ears.

“Any last words?”  [Oswald] YOU PUT TAPE ON HIS MOUTH, YOU ASSHOLE!

*laughs when Victor gives his muffled last words*  He’s just stalling, I love it!

“Well said.”  *laughs*

*Victor gets rescued at the last minute*  Ohhh ho ho ho!

Shit, that was close!

*imitates Oswald yelling “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?”

I actually really hope we see Zsasz in the time jump. 

I hope so.

I will be so happy.

*Jim shoves Oswald to the ground*  MOM, HE PUSHED ME!

You self-serving asshole!

“What choice do I [Jim] have?  Either I let him [Victor] go, or he's dead for something he didn't do.”  Either that or it’s like the final scene from “Se7en.”

*very softly*  Eesh...

WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!?  No.  Zsasz is not up for that.

No.

I think he begrudgingly gets along with Barbara so he wouldn’t do that.

“This city will never be what you it to be, Jim.  It’s always gonna belong to the bad guys… like me.”  Yes.

“What?”  “Yeah, what?”  *scoffs in hilarity*

“Give him your gun.”  OK, I hate this because Jim wants him [Victor] to shoot him. 

Come on...

He wants a shootout!

“Maybe I'm just tired of listening to you, Victor.”  Jim, come on!

*groans in frustration*

I like that shot though [of Victor being offered Harvey’s gun].  It’s like one of the westerns, with the blurry background.

“Do it.”  No...

Jim, what are you, stupid?

*sits back in relief when Victor turns him down* Oh thank God...

“So [Victor] get the hell out of my face.”  So why did he [Jim] want a shoot out?  He just wanted an excuse to arrest him again?

It’s guess it’s just kind of the built up anger.  Plus the fact that everything Jim has tried to do has utterly failed.

Yeah...

So he’s at the end of his rope and given up everything.

That’s true, yeah.

Ooohh that’s [the lighting for that shot of the tunnel workers walking down the hall] cool.

Yeah, where the hell is this?

I don’t know... it looks like an old parking garage.

It does!

*All the tunnel workers get knocked out*  Oh dear.

*claps when Bruce emerges from the shadows and catches up to Alfred*  LET’S GOOOOO!  Yess!

Alfred being a badass!

*laughs when Jeremiah starts fanning himself with his hat*

*done*

*mouths along with Jeremiah’s line about the river, with eyebrows and all*

“So what do we do when we feel like giving up?”  “Dig a little deeper.”   *has to sit forward in an attempt not to laugh/sing*

*still done*

*eyes widen when Selina walks up to Jeremiah and stabs him*

“Deep enough?”  Let’s go.

Damn.

“Well Selina, I must say-“  Yeah, the Tim Curry voice is an affectation.

Yeah.

Stab number two.  Stab number three.

*in unison*  Four.  Five!  Six.  Seven.  Eight.  Nine.

God...

Ho-ly shit!

*Jeremiah drops to the ground*  And he’s alive after that.

*shakes head*

*Selina gets hit in the head with a tool*  Ohhhhhh!  That oughta hurttt!

Yeah.... Jesus.

Also, you noticed like that he [Jeremiah] immediately calmed down like “Oh, it’s not Ecco, oh thank God- oh it’s just Selina.”

*laughs*

*Last shot of Jeremiah in the episode*  He looks dead.

Yeah.  Like how the hell did you survive getting stabbed in the stomach nine times?

Plus, in the next episode, there’s a doctor there.  I think it’s some sort of surgeon.

Still though... damn...

*Ed is exhausted after climbing stairs*  Mood, Ed.

“I hate stairs.”  *laughs*

What a mood!

*sings*  What a mood, what a mood, what a mighty big mood!

[1215]  Oh Jesus...

Oh my gosh, the amount of times I’ve seen a ceramic rooster thing, ugh... that brings me back.

This poor old lady!

“You were on the roof and you had some kind of a rocket.”  *softly*  Oh my God...

*The old woman hits Ed over the head*  HA!

*Ed starts to remember*  Oh my God!  He did it after all!  Oh, you- eat shit, Ed!

*points at screen*  Yeah that’s [the long hair and bowler hat] not a look!

*Ed blow up Haven in a flashback*  Why would he even do it though?

Also, I like these Windows screensaver effects.  *laughs*

Also, I wanna know how he [Ed] got the room number.

“I promise, I won't tell anybody.”  “I know you won't.”  Oh, c’mon, Ed!

No, c’mon!  Ed, no!  No no no!

*Ed shoves the witness out the window to her death*  Eat shit and dieeeee...

*tries not to laugh*  That’s from “Batman Forever!”  Because he pushes the guy out the window in the wheelchair!

Ohhhh, eat shit and dieee-

OK, OK, here’s the thing.  You’re gonna hate this ending because I hate this ending-

Oh God...

Because Jim and Barbara and it’s like-

What...

Yeah...

*yowls in frustration*

*can’t help but laugh*  Same.

“[Barbara] Your tip didn't pan out.”  “Well, I've got another one.”  Nooo.

Jim does not need this right now.

He does not need this right now.

You’ve made a lot of shitty decisions this episode, Jim.

Yeah, everyone has.  And these two have [throughout the show].

“No one knows what it’s like to be him.”  *to the tune of the opening of 2001*  Shuuuutttt upppp!  SHUT UP!

Is this really the time for freakin’ anger sex?

I know!

“I told you to leave.”  No.

*shakes head*

*both say varying degrees of “No” when Barbara gets super close to Jim*

Jim, no.  No.

No.

*Jim grabs Barbara’s arm to stop her*  Jim, no.

MMMMMMM!!!

*bolts out of seat when Jim and Barbara start to make out* 

JIIM, COME ONNN!!!

*in the background*  I’m goin’ out the window, bye!

Jim...

*comes back to seat when end titles appear*  AND THAT IS THE end of the episode!

Nooooo!!  Jiimmm, come on!  COME ON!

[calamity-bean]

gotham 4.22: a list of things i have mixed feelings about

Oswald shooting Butch

On the one hand: I love Butch. It was so good to see his real live face again!!! And I was loving his renewed partnership with Oz!!!!! Eatin chicken, watchin cartoons!!!! Also, I think Drew Powell just has a wonderful screen presence, so if he’s truly gone for good this time ... I’m really gonna miss having him around.

On the other: Oswald, you BEAUTIFUL, STONE-COLD BASTARD. You never forgot. You never forgave. You waited TWO AND A HALF seasons till the perfect opportunity presented. You’re terrible. I love you. I’m so proud.

The Ed/Lee ... situation

This entire arc has been almost physically unbearable in its redundancy, repetitiveness, toxicity, and lack of anything resembling logic, sense, or consistent characterization. They really had to get one last kiss there in the end? Really? Even after they established that neither of them would ever ever be a person the other would actually like?

However: maybe it’s finally fucking DONE

Ed and Lee dying

It was a pretty infuriating way for either of them to go, considering the context, but, like, they’ll clearly be back, so ... That’s Gotham for ya.

What is Strange going ... to do to them. Mostly I’m worried about what he’s going to do to LEE...

Martin??? MARTIN??? MY SWEET BOY, IS THAT YOU????

I’VE MISSED YOU & I WOULD LOVE TO SEE MORE OF YOU. I AM STILL WAITING FOR ANOTHER PAPA PENGUIN HUG.

But I’m also ... really torn about this concept. If it IS you, Martin, I just REALLY, REALLY hope that the writers remember that you aren’t JUST a little murder child. You’ve got a darkness, yes, but you’re also sweet, you’re cute, you BOND with people, you give HUGS. Can we trust the writers to remember that? Maybe see about giving us that reunion with Oswald?? I just really love Martin, y’all, and I know Gotham will never give me the ultra-fluffy AU in which Oswald adopts him and they live happily ever after, but I hope they don’t forget about his and Oswald’s bond.

Also, if that IS Martin, what the FUCK is going on, what the HELL kinda creepy mask orphanage has he been living in, has Oswald not been checking on him, EDWARD NYGMA IS THIS SERIOUSLY WHAT YOU CALL “SNUG AS A BUG IN A RUG”

Babs deciding that the REAL cause of every single problem is ... MEN™

I mean ... yeah girl, fight the patriarchy? But...

It’s rather ... cliche, isn’t it. Uh. Kinda. Strawman feminism, the whole “kill all men!” thing. Especially when the character leading the charge just happens to be an LGBT woman.

I know just enough about the comics to know that Selina’s current situation is putting her in the role of Barbara from The Killing Joke ... but I don’t know anywhere near enough about the comics to know the broader ramifications of that arc, or how to feel about the way in which Gotham’s using it. All I understand about what I’m feeling is that I love Selina and hate to see her hurt and am just sort of generally worried about her.

HOWEVER ... Things I did NOT have mixed feelings about AT ALL:

That ending montage of all the villains establishing their territories? Was fucking BOSS. It was actually EXCELLENT. It thrilled me right from the beginning to see Oswald stepping back into a leadership role, scoping out his new territory like the badass he is, and then?? Freeze??? Firefly???? Scarecrow???? I was!! Shook!!! Sincerely, legitimately shaken!! I don’t know enough comics lore to recognize the new characters they hinted at, but like, fuck, I’m pumped!!!

And then. And THEN. Jim and Bruce on the rooftop. How iconic. Fox and Harvey coming back to the police station, ready to kick ass. What good boys, every one of ‘em. I love them. Good. GOOD.

[takingtea-and-tellingtales]

thoughts while re-watching ep. 2x12 of Gotham

*ice puns intensify*

wow harvey, interrogating jim gordon at this trial is a little two-faced of you (i will never stop)

drink for “someone tries to say ‘oswald cobblepot’ and with gravitas” 

(and then drink like nine more times for the rest of the scene)

i watched a crack-vid that played “love crime” from the finale of Hannibal over Jim and Oswald killing Galavan and now I can’t unhear it???? i also can’t find it again to leave a link here???? 

“detective, did you have anything to do with the murder of theo galavan?” “what? no. what? who’s galavan. never heard of him. is it hot in here? maybe you killed him, didja ever think of that???” BE A BETTER LIAR, JAMES

prosecutor voice: “jim gordon, is there perhaps a small shaky mobster being tortured in arkham for a crime YOU committed?” (yeah, yeah, oswald has committed upwards of 50 murders at this point i’m AWARE but he didn’t do this one)

okay, friends, let’s TALK about SOME THINGS: 

(1) I SEE YOU, JOKER-CULT SPRAY PAINT

CALLED. OUT. 

(2) This:

i should clarify. i know i’m generally very excited about pretty much everything oswald wears because he is STYLISH AF at all times. but this is different. everyone get out your shipper goggles and strap in, this is going to be a ride...

these are not oswald’s clothes. 

i know this for a few reasons

(1) oswald is a much better dresser than this

(2) oswald is a much less practical dresser than this

(3) that coat is too big for him

(i know this because @tigerinkangel and i spent way way way too long looking at the few shots of oswald in this coat in the episode and we determined that the coat is made for someone taller and with broader shoulders... gee. who was oswald just staying with who is taller and has broader shoulders? i wonder.)

these are ed’s clothes 

ed has given oswald not just a coat but THREE LAYERS OF CLOTHES so he DOESN’T GET COLD including a little checked scarf (that surely would match ed’s fab red coat from later this season) and a knitted toque (a hat for all you non-Canadians) 

this is PRECIOUS

i want you all to image how this went down:

“i have to go, ed, they’ll find me and you’ll get into trouble too”

“where will you go?”

“just lay low for a while”

“where?”

“around”

“you’re going to be cold and, frankly, recognizable in that getup” 

“i can’t exactly go back home and change now, can i?”

“well then you’ll take some of my clothes”

“your clothes?” 

“yes. i think i have some sweaters...” 

*cut of ed forcing ugly knit sweaters over oswald’s head as the grumpy little murder-bird complains the whole damn time*

*cut to ed making sure he has a walking stick because the umbrella is a dead giveaway but he needs something for his leg*

*smash-cut to me being trash. oh wait. that’s all the time.”

alright. rant kind of over for now. 

i am HERE FOR the moment in the lab where Ed has the police scanner running and he hears news of Oswald and drops the thing (tooth?) he is holding in his tweezers and stares at the radio. I AM HERE FOR IT. 

i’m slightly less here for butch’s drill-bit arm though it does give him a nice bond-villain vibe

otp: strangely enough i am kind of fond of you 

(Tabitha is me trying to flirt: “you don’t suck i guess whatever”)

come on, Mr. Fries, be cool 

chill out, Mr. Fries, no need for such a... frosty reception 

Harvey Bullock saying “you don’t deserve these lips” is now my preferred method of rejection

“froze her?” “told you it was weird” - oh my sweet summer child you don’t even KNOW how weird this is going to get

(when will there be live penguins wearing tiny rockets you cowards?????)

okay there’s a ton to unpack in this ed-explains-the-roses-and-liquid-nitrogen scene but i’m not going to unpack any of it because i spend a whole chapter doing that in my very long fanfic and i don’t want to spoil it for y’all... i promise it’s super extra, though, and very shippy. you’re welcome. 

i will, however, take a tiny moment to FREAK OUT about ed shattering the rose and saying “i don’t like being called names, detective” through gritted teeth because DAMN that’s a good moment

also harvey looking at ed in this scene is harvey staring into the void and the void staring back - i like to think he saw the riddler in that moment. i just really love it it’s super powerful okay??? 

jim: “what is your relationship with oswald cobblepot?” ed: “i believe the kids today refer to it as “endgame”? i admit the terminology is a little fuzzy...”

(i’m not sorry)

“saying the word ‘Cobblepot’ with gravitas: Ed Nygma edition” 

penguin looks so tiny being dragged through the GCPD bullpen in a coat that’s too big for him. 

also ed watching oswald get thrown in the holding cell #hearteyes

i LOVE this interrogation scene. oswald is beat up, cold, arrested, wearing borrowed clothes and he still has all the power in the scene. 

HOWEVER - why does he cover for jim, here? honest question. is he still kinda infatuated with jim? his he hoping this will pay off in the long run? what’s his game here? 

victor, your research is cold comfort in this hard time of illness (#i’llneverstop)

dear victor, being able to freeze someone without bringing them back is just murdering them more slowly. delayed-murder. 

hey it’s me, shipper trash, back again to talk about the scene where ed and oswald chat through the bars of the holding cell. 

first - the overhead shot of ed pretending to look through files and oswald sitting in the cell is awesome. just... awesome

“you doing okay? you look kind of funky” - ED STAHP he’s the head of the gotham mob - ugh he’s too cute i mean, normal things. i’m fine

sub-point: oswald’s tiny smile and laugh tell me that my above freakout is also his internal monologue

ed just wants to helpppppp they LOVE EACH OTHER (i’m FINE)

i wish we had a scene of ed leaving flowers on Gertrud’s grave that would have been nice i think

gee, i wish ed had gone to visit ed in Arkham so i didn’t have to write 100k of fanfic fixing that (jokes, i loved writing it)

Lucius Fox explaining cryogenics to Harvey is the epitome of patience. he is a better soul than any in Arkham

oh this scene in Arkham is so cringey i feel so bad for oswald (yes i know he killed lots of people just let me be sad about this)

“my name is oswald cobblepot” is gotham’s “harriet jones, prime minister”

*dalek voice* “we. know. who. you. are.”

Victor’s a cool customer in this tense lab experiment. #i’mhilarious

i’m having Fringe flashbacks watching this body melt and not in a good way

any fellow Fringe fans out there? yes? no? 

why the hell isn’t there a refill order on Nora’s medication? how did that happen? 

Alright let’s take a moment to appreciate the hell out of BD Wong as Hugo Strange because holy shit he knocks it out of the park. 

remember how i said earlier that oswald still has all the power in the scene with barnes? yeah this scene where he shakes hands with strange you can just see all the power gather around strange like - i was immediately genuinely afraid for oswald’s safety

he’s got to stand toe-to-toe with the worst of the worst in gotham and still have the upper hand and his presence on screen makes that happen from moment 1

those pink glasses are awesome and i love them 

i really like Mr. Freeze’s homemade outfit it’s adorable 

why is Freeze bothering to hide the bodies at this point? like he really should just run - he has the meds and doesn’t need the bodies

back to BD Wong because i love him

he’s so creepy i love the way he chuckles through the word “yes” 

he’s just got this low, rumbling voice - never yelling, never talking faster - that you absolutely have to listen to whenever he talks. such a great contrast to ozzie’s scream-crying 

oswald’s freckles are very cute in this scene which is a weird thing to focus on i realize but we don’t really see them much in other scenes and they are cute

the little power-play with the tea cup - i love it. oswald pouring tea for himself, hugo taking it away. so. much. intensity. and. passive. aggression. i. love. it. 

now, after all this time, nora finds the murder-basement - freaks out, then just sits there staring at the body. 

harvey and jim arguing over the name is pure though i love them they are absolute disasters. 

while conceptually i’m aware i’m supposed to be invested in victor fries as a character i’m just not - it was a good call to push him mostly to the background after this. 

jfc the guy in arkham gouging out his own eyes i forgot about that. did i mention i LOVE all the arkham plots it is my favourite setting in gotham 

ed doing a little crouch to check for the missing dead body under the table then just going “huh” is like... peak gotham. ed’s got the hang of this city 

“also seems to have had a rather unhealthy relationship with his deceased mother” - hugo strange, not afraid to tell the truth we all try not to talk about

everytime the newspapers give someone a nickname i headcanon it’s valerie vale, living her best life, naming literally every batman villain 

... alright folks i know it’s been a year since i finished one of these but i’m back at it on the regular now so, stay tuned if you enjoy this sort of nonsense.