#I might write a more realistic version at some point

[sarastellasari]

The Dare

Avery and Jameson had a game. They would dare each other to do the most insane things possible, and whoever backed down lost. Neither of them had lost yet- they had dared each other to do some pretty insane things (Avery’s favorite had been when Jameson had dared her to dress up in a giant inflatable shark costume and run around the city in broad daylight).  But Avery was certain she had just come up with the perfect dare to make Jameson back down. She smirked playfully at Jameson, silently willing him not to chicken out. The brown-haired boy let out an exhale of disbelief, his eyes widening in horror, before shaking his head.

“Heiress, that's awful. If I get caught I’ll get arrested! That’s illegal!”

“You won't get caught. ‘Cause you can be careful, right?” Avery interrupted. Jameson hesitated.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” Avery’s eyes widened. She hadn’t expected him to accept her dare, but everyone knew that Jameson Hawthorne never turned down a dare. 

“Ok,” she smirked. 

“You know the rules-”

“I know, I know.” Jameson huffed. “By the way, you're gonna be the one bailing me out.” 

Avery laughed as he exited the room, presumably to prepare for his dare. She could already see the headlines.

….

“HAWTHORNE GRANDSON SPOTTED SHIRTLESS DURING DAREDEVIL BUILDING CLIMB DOWNTOWN: POLICE INTERVENE" Avery nearly choked when she saw the headline the next morning as she was eating her breakfast. She spent exactly five seconds panicking over what to do, and then another five panicking once she realized that Alisa was calling her.

“Hey, Alisa,” she said nervously. 

“Avery. You wouldn't happen to know anything about your boyfriend’s little… stunt, would you?” 

“No…?” Avery said nervously, wincing. She could feel Alisa's annoyance through the phone. Alisa sighed. 

“Avery… This is the third time Jameson has been caught doing something like this. We can’t keep covering these things up. Eventually, it’s going to get out. My people contacted the website to take the article down but-”

“Why?” Avery asked curiously. “I mean I'm grateful but-”

“I might be your publicist, but he’s your boyfriend. And what he does reflects on your image.” Avery pushed back the growing guilt in her stomach. She hadn’t meant to get Alisa involved. 

“I’m sorry, Alisa. This is my fault. Thank you for handling this.” Avery said.

“Whatever. Just make sure he doesn't climb any more buildings shirtless, okay? I'm sending someone to pick him up from the station right now. He won’t be in that much legal trouble, he’s a Hawthorne after all.”

–

“Miss me, Heiress?” were Jameson's first words when he walked through the front door less than an hour later. Avery threw her arms around him, kissing him on the mouth.

“Jameson! How’d you get caught? Tell me everything.”

“Well, it’s a story filled with heroic bravery and danger-” Avery gently hit him. He laughed. 

“I’m joking. Somehow, the building that I chose had a window washer late last night. It was bad luck, that's all. It's certainly not my fault.” Avery raised a dark eyebrow. 

“Alisa called. She said to be more careful.” Jameson pouted.

“Alisa is Alisa. Are we really gonna listen to her?” Avery scowled.

“Yes!”

“Hmm… well, I think you should do my dare as well.” Avery scowled. 

“Huh?” 

“I couldn't finish it, so you should.” Avery grinned, her green eyes lighting up.

“Sure. But I won't get caught.” Jameson smirked. 

“We’ll see about that.” 

–

Avery pushed back the growing panic in her chest. She deeply regretted accepting Jameson’s dare—even if, technically, it had been hers. Unlike Jameson, though, she had come prepared. She had dressed in all black to blend in with the night (Jameson had complained about her waiting to do it, but she wasn't about to go climb a building in broad daylight).  

She was glad the building they had chosen was relatively small and easy to climb, made out of crumbling brick, but with plenty of ledges to hold onto. She would never live it down if she actually got injured doing one of their striped dares. 

After checking that no one was around, Avery slowly started to climb. She clutched onto the ledges tighter, praying that she didn't fall. To her surprise, she managed to end up almost next to the building's fire escape rather quickly. Avery smirked at it, an idea crossing her mind. 

Quickly, she jumped onto it, and hastily scrambled to the top, eventually having to resume climbing the building, before reaching the top. Avery surveyed the city from above. She took a few pictures on her phone, to show Jameson as proof she had done it. 

Then, much slower than she had gotten up, she climbed down from the building, taking care not to fall. She jumped in her car and sped away, shaky with adrenaline.

–

Jameson’s jaw dropped when Avery walked through his bedroom door. She smirked at him, triumph on her face.

“Hey Jameson, what's up?” 

“How did you not get-” Avery threw herself onto the bed next to him. 

“Look at the pictures I got!” She said, waving her phone at him. He raised an eyebrow in disbelief. 

“I can’t believe you got up there.”

“I guess it's just because, you know, I'm better than you.” Jameson scowled, attempting to shove Avery off the bed as she laughed, already trying to think of her next dare.

[perplexingly]

I updated my Hans/Henry playlist somewhat (still with the intention that all the music included sounds like something you could realistically hear back then. Or at least at medieval fairs). Many of them are instrumental, though not all!

There is an actual reasoning for most songs, and in the fashion of playlist of ye olde days, I'll write an explanation for them below the cut.

(the youtube one has more songs simply because some do not exist on spotify, but I tried to match them as much as possible)

Explanation:

The Medievals - Schiarazula Marazula the melody has a long history and with a variety of lyrics accompanying it. Eventually Angelo Branduardi transcribed it with lyrics from the point of view of Death, and although in medieval times it probably was not associated with Death, I thought it might be a good starting point - Hans and Henry meet because of the tragedy of Skalitz.

Gothien - Saderaladon a silly song about a peasant, at the beginning of spring, woken up by a nightingale's song. The peasant joins the bird by playing a citole. In the last verse (which is missing in Gothien's version), the bird gets angry that a peasant heard it :D I thought the song fits the Hans-Henry KCD1 relationship very well

Kalabalik - La Sansonette; Klíč - Taneček; Gallagher's Frolics; Musica Canora - Skudrinka; Jar - Słowiański Taniec; Elthin - Czaldy waldy A string of dance songs, I thought it might be a good way to symbolize the majority of the KCD2 relationship - there's a lot of pushing and pulling, running around and rejoining only to be separated again. I did go for happy-sounding melodies since Hans and Henry are comfortable enough with one another

Elthin - Douce dame Jolie (& Francouzský tanec - Středověká hudba) A popular medieval love song. I wanted some French melody to represent the Taking The French Leave quest. Henry and Hans are reunited, Hans speaks in a very soft and heartfelt way during and after it. Although in game the romance doesn't begin just yet, the feelings are there.

Oj chmielu ("Oh, Hop") A Polish folk song sung during weddings, to symbolize Hans receiving the news about his marriage. This rendition has a rather desperate, fearful vibe which I find very fitting.

Veratus - Vänner och Fränder Another song to symbolize Hans' fears about the wedding. The song is about a girl who was to be married to a prince, but chose to run away with her true love - the poor Roland.

Bryd one breere ("Bird on a briar") A song that is a plea for love "Gracious lady, on me have pity; or prepare for me my grave." Thought that it would be a good way to show the internal thoughts Hans has towards Henry before the romance scene.

Otep myrhy ("A Bundle of Myrrh") & Andělíku rozkochaný ("Frolicking Little Angel") Czech love songs to represent reciprocated love.

Veratus - Laude novella sia cantata A prayer to Virgin Mary for safety; to represent Hans' point of view during Henry's suicide mission. Veratus' version has this lovely quick, upbeat melody, I think it's very nice at conveying urgency rather than despair.

Corvus Corax - Mit Dans is all die werlt genesen ("With dance the whole world is healed") To represent a happy ending.

[cy-lindric]

bonjour cy-lindric, j'ai une petite question. when I was a young person, I read The Three Musketeers and then eagerly started to read Twenty Years After and was so upset at what had happened to my beloved young heroes that I put the book down and never picked it up. what do you think, should I try again?

Bonjour !

After reading The Three Musketeers, I also wasn't sure I wanted to read Twenty Years After, and I took a break inbetween both to read something entirely different (The Locked Tomb, iirc). I think my reason for that was kind of the opposite of yours ; I enjoyed T3M a lot and loved the characters, flaws and all, but by the end they had somewhat crossed over the line into being Too Awful and the lack of retribution left me a bit frustrated. I didn't see it as a failing of the story - on the contrary, their strong character flaws and downfall in the conflict with Milady is one of the most emotionally intense and compelling parts imo - but I wasn't sure I felt like hanging out with these guys for a few hundred more pages at that point.

If your vision of the characters as a young reader was a very positive and perhaps idealized one, I can imagine why you might not have enjoyed entering into Twenty Years after. The illusion of glory has worn off ; the characters have separated, they live unremarkable lives, and their personalities have evolved drastically with the passing of time. It's almost a brutal return to reality.

For me though, it added layers of characterization to the point where now it's clear to me that this version of the Inseparables is by far the one I prefer.

I hope it's ok if I take the opportunity to talk at length about what I like about TYA below the cut. TL;DR : I love that Twenty Years After is a more realistic look at the big four's personalities and how they evolved while still keeping them thematically coherent, and that TYA makes them confront the reckless and cruel shit they did in their youth.

Spoilers ahead obviously.

We've often talked about how T3M is at its core a story about the end of knighthood. It's a tongue-in-cheek approach at chivalrous initiation, set at edge of the modern world, inbetween the time of ballads about knights in armor and that of adventures about journeying gunmen and soldiers. I think TYA embodies that particularly ; the story of people who have carried the last of these intense, dangerous chivalric ideals in their youths, and who have now grown into middle aged adults who need to find their place in the world.

For a good chunk of the book, the big four are separated into two teams ; that in of itself might discourage some, but imo it's genius. Instead of the natural two-by-pairings, Dumas goes for a d'Artagnan+ Porthos and Athos + Aramis split on opposite sides, which makes for good drama and develops lesser explored dynamics. D'Artagnan and Porthos form a scrappy team of opportunists with money on their minds, and Athos and Aramis a more idealistic duo fighting for a noble lost cause. I think it's a bold choice but also premium sequel writing.

I also love the way the young and wild characters we knew evolve into middle aged men ; at their core, they're still the same, but they've all changed and struggled against the sunset of the golden age in their own ways.

D'Artagnan, after knowing such adventures and subsequent rapid social ascension in his teenage years, has been met in his adult life with the harsh reality that he is, in fact, not a noble knight but a soldier on payroll. His modest origins give him little hope for any further career advancement, and he takes on a new mission in his early 40s for a man he has no devotion for and a cause he doesn't care about, simply because he is bored and broke. D'Artagnan still has his quick wits, his strategic talent, his fencing skills, but he has grown out of the excesses of pride of his teenage years. I loved meeting him again in TYA, and it made so much sense to me that his bouts of anger and aggressivity would be a youthful trait that he'd ended up taming. He also realizes now a lot of what seemed like funny adventures and necessary violence was actually kind of fucked up ; that was a shock to me, as their shenanigans are treated so lightly in T3M, and tbh it healed me a little. Grown up d'Artagnan is cunning, calculating, down to earth and realistic. My foxy little man. I love him.

Porthos, likewise, has been struck by the weight of reality. He has made the sensible choice and got married to the rich widow who sugar mommied him in the first book. Now she's passed, he is rich, but he still fails to earn the respect of the high society he evolves in because he's not high born enough. Like d'Artagnan, he's stagnating and bored and now that he goes back adventuring it has nothing to do with the queen or the kingdom or honour ; it's about getting his damn nobility title.

Athos, on the other hand, is the eternal knight : the only truly high born of the four, and still hopelessly holding on to a time gone by. It's no surprise imo that his storyline brings him into the english civil war, doomed to fail at saving a king who'll end up executed right in front of him. TYA acknowledges more clearly than ever that at 28 yo, Athos was a depressed alcoholic, and an embodiment of what an excess of aristocratic righteousness can do. In TYA, he is sober and moisturized and a DILF, and now he's running around frantically looking for absolution for his numerous crimes. It's delicious.

Aramis is maybe the hardest pill to swallow. TYA confirms the T3M hints that he isn't really the prim and proper romantic boy he acts like he is, and that he's possibly the most hypocritical and ruthless of the four. It might be a harsh one for Aramis fans who like him better as a cute bean, but I love the early onset of remorseless conniving bloodthirsty ambitious Aramis. Another harsh bit might be the evolution of Aramis and d'Artagnan not really liking each other ; they were always the least close combination, and imo it makes sense that their personalities would clash. I think it's clever and compelling conflict.

Now, obviously, if you've cared enough to read all this and if you know me a little, you know that a huge highlight of the book for me was its late-appearing antagonist, Mordaunt. Mordaunt is the son Milady had with her english husband. Because of the Musketeers' intervention, he's grown up in poverty and has been denied his father's inheritance. He's now a Roundhead working for Cromwell, and set on avenging his mother at all costs. Mordaunt, unlike his mother who was this beautiful and dangerous force of nature, is very uncool and pathetic. She was the primordial snake, he's the gutter rat. Obviously, I love that in and of itself, but it's also kind of striking image of the wretchedness of what they've done to her, a fucked up little goblin ghost come back to haunt them as they're trying to make their life worth living again. This time, their enemy is not a cunning political rival with a flamboyance of body and mind akin to their own ; it's a shitty little guy with bad skin who wants to kill the king and punish the murderers. Watch out babes, it's the modern world coming for you.

Of course, they're the Four Musketeers, and they did what they had to do, so they get together again and swear friendship and keep going their way. But they're also old guys with difficult personalities in a world that's never going to be the same. I think it's a cool book.

[snowthedemonfox]

So we got some screenshots for Ep 3, and I'm going to talk about some things I've noticed + some theories

I went off for over an hour in the bunnydoll burrow's VC talking about everything I noticed, but I'm realising writing it all down would be a smarter move, cause I know I'd forget it. If I've missed anything you think is important, let me know! I'll edit this post with new notes.

Let's start with the first screenshot, because that just makes the most sense:

The elephant in the room is the realistic human hand. I don't doubt this is the scene that has some level of blood and gore in it. We can't see what the hand is connected to, but whatever it is, it seems to be taller than Pomni and Kinger. They're both looking up, and the camera angle is facing down towards them both.

We can see 2 heads hanging from the wall behind Kinger, and what we can assume to be a 3rd behind the desk behind the hand.

One of these heads, as many have pointed out, seems to resemble Pomni. The face is entirely white, what I can assume is an eye seems to be the same size as Pomni's, and you can see that familiar looking hair on the side.

Even the other two things we see look like other members of the cast!

The head to the right of Kinger looks like Ragatha. It's got the hair, and even the face looks to be made of actual fabric, like a real doll. It seems whatever these things are, they're meant to look like more 'horror' versions of the characters.

(Side note, but if I had to guess, if Glitch releases a 3rd sticker sheet for episode 3, I wouldn't surprised if we got a new set of icon variations for the main cast. But instead of candy, we get these horror versions instead. I think that'd be cool, and I really hope that's what happens.)

You could even go as far to say the 'human' hand we're seeing is from the horror version of Kinger. Like I said before, the camera is looking down at them. Why would it be looking down? Because whatever's looking at them, is attached to the wall.

Moving onto other details in the room, we can see there's a chair behind Pomni with some kind of light on it. At first, I thought this might have been the tape recorder from the February trailer, but you can see the tape recorder is on a desk, not a chair.

And while there is a desk in the room, whatever is on there doesn't look like a tape recorder. It looks more like a photo, or some kind of radio.

The giant 'M' on the rug. We know the ghost lady's name is Martha Mildenhall, so this probably implies she owns the mansion the gang are exploring. Why would she need their help, though? Maybe whatever force is moving the hand in the screenshot, is some kind of 'evil' ghost, and that's why Pomni and the others are there to help. There's evil ghosts inhabitating the mansion, and Martha needs help to get rid of them. It's simple, it's your basic video game quest, it seems like a normal adventure plot that Caine would come up with.

There seems to be something behind the chair, but I can't make out if it's a door, some curtains, or some kind of closet. The lighting isn't doing me any favours. Either way, I doubt it's important to the episode, probably just background decoration.

As for my other thoughts that aren't as related to the screenshot itself, I do believe that everyone is going to be split up. Obviously Kinger and Pomni are working together, but I'm still not sure if Jax would be hanging with Ragatha & Gangle, or if he'd be off doing his own thing. As for Zooble, I'll get to them later.

And this might just be me looking into things too much, but it almost looks like one of Kinger's eyes is focused entirely on whatever is behind the camera, while the other isn't focused at all. Like he's half paying attention to the 'danger' he and Pomni are in.

But that's really all I have to say about the first screenshot. Let's move onto the main event:

Again, let's get the obvious out of the way: new Zooble design! They've got some new parts, like the arms, unicorn horn, and the blocky yellow and pink thing, but also some old parts, like the bluish-green ring, and their classic black and white antenna. So far, I like this design! I'm happy to see that they've decided to mix things up a bit. Not my favourite design, but still decent. They've got good taste.

Before I talk about Zooble and Caine, I first want to talk about the location they're in. At first, I thought this might've been Zooble's room, but looking closer, it's obviously not. Then I thought it was that little desk area at the end of the dorm hallway.

But nope, the hallway has different plants, picture frames, wallpaper, and no chairs to be seen. The plants we can see look similar to those seen in Caine's resturant realm from Ep 1, so I think I can safely guess that this is a new location, made specifically for him and Zooble to chat.

Speaking of that, I think that's going to be the driving point of Zooble's character development this episode. Something is going to convince them to join the future adventures, and it seems this will be that something. We know thanks to the AMA, that Zooble not going on adventures is important to their character, so having their episode focus on this topic makes sense.

What I can assume happened to lead up to this interaction is this:

Caine announced the adventure, and just like in both Ep 1&2, Zooble immediately expresses that they are not interested, and walks off. Caine can't really do anything about it yet, so he focuses on everyone else. Explains the rest of the adventure to them, and sends them on their way.

He then catches up to Zooble before they reach wherever they planned on going, and teleports them both to this new room. It looks almost like some kind of waiting room, or a room where they're both supposed to talk things out. It's got the comfy chairs, wall art, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a little table between them.

Zooble, obviously, is not impressed. They don't care about Caine's adventures, and want nothing to do with whatever he has planned for them in the meantime. Caine, on the other hand, just wants to figure out why Zooble doesn't want to go on his adventures. He spends so much time figuring them out! Just for the humans! Why won't Zooble participate!?

This very likely evolves into an argument between the two. I like how Caine is clearly angry in this screenshot. It's nice to see him show some more variety when it comes to emotion!! Zooble doesn't care for whatever Caine is saying, and Caine just wants to understand why they don't care.

Something happens, maybe they do talk it out, maybe something else, but by the end of the episode, Zooble decides that maybe going on a few adventures isn't that bad. I think it's way too early to guess what happens in that huge timeskip, but for now, this is the best I've got.

I feel Zooble's arc in this episode might touch on a few topics, like how while they might think staying by themselves all day and doing their own thing is better for them, isolating themselves isn't doing anyone any favours, and that, for lack of a better term, going 'outside' every once in a while can't hurt.

... and that's pretty much all I can think of to say regarding these two screenshots! I'm sure we'll get to learn more as the episode release gets closer, but I'm excited to see how things turn out!! :3

[lancedoncrimsonwings]

Get to know your mutuals Game

Oooohh thank you for the tag @holy3cake

No pressure tagging @gwalch-mei @beginning-writer + OPEN TAG FOR ALL to answer these 27 random questions, I'll put a blank version in the comments!

What's the origin of your blog title?

Originally, "OnCrimsonWings" is my Ao3 username, which was a poetic kinda reference to Dante from Devil May Cry because his demon form has red wings. When I made this blog I knew I wanted it to include a reference to Lancelot/The Weeping Monk, so I just added "Lanced" to the Ao3 name.

It works on so many levels- as I also like winged Whumpees as a trope in general, and the name to me brings an image of a winged creature or person pinned by something sharp through the wing. It also works more as a poetic angel metaphor for Lancelot, as he's referred to as a dark/avenging angel in the role he's been molded into by the Church in Cursed, a role which is ultimately his downfall, like a fallen angel with crimson, or bloodied wings...

OTP(s) + Their shipname;

Lancewain; Lancelot (The Weeping Monk) x Gawain (The Green Knight) from Cursed

Melvik; Mel x Viktor from Arcane (also Jayvik; Jayce x Viktor, and Meljayvik; Mel x Jayce x Viktor)

Zaundads/Vanco; Vander x Silco from Arcane

BuckyNat/WinterWidow; Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow) x Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier) Marvel

Gwaenyra (Gwayne x Rhaenyra; House of the Dragon)

Colonel Everett Young x Dr. Nicholas Rush; Stargate Universe - I actually never really saw a shipname for these guys or I've forgotten it if I did know one

There's a bunch of others but that will do for now lmao

Favourite colour?

Purple!

Favourite game/s?

The Witcher 3, Skyrim, currently enjoying Monster Hunter, though the thing I have most hours in might actually be Fall Guys...

What song is currently stuck in your head?

In Maidjan by Heilung, I'm excited to see them live again soon!

Weirdest habit/trait?

I sit like a goblin in any and all chairs. (Except for when I'm physically tattooing, or in a formal meeting. Otherwise? If there is a chair I will be perched on it like a bisexual ass Goblin 100% of the time).

Uhhh and I can bend the first knuckle (closest to the fingertips) on my fingers whilst keeping the second/middle knuckles perfectly straight/locked.

Hobbies:

Playing piano, making cosplays, making chainmail, listening to music, playing D&D, keeping snakes and also doing Archery, as of late!

If you work, what's your profession?

Tattooing- for the next two weeks anyway. I also volunteer at my local zoo and do commission pet portraits!

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically?

Tattooing but at a studio with a working toilet, repaired roof and decent non falling apart floors, where I am NOT the sole member of the studio 😂

Otherwise, doing something arty like making things or running my small buisness full time. Or if all goes well with this insane Uni plan I have, then working with snakes in some way shape or form. Not sure how, yet but. I dunno, it might be cool.

Something you're good at:

I'm a really creative person and I come up with a lot of really cool ideas!

Something you're bad at:

Maths, I mean I just struggle with numbers in general. And telling my left from right 😂

Something you love: 

Daniel Sharman. I mean. Look at him man's stunning

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: 

Snakes! And I did that when I took the snakes in to Scouts and taught them about snakes with not much prep time at all 😂

Something you hate:

People trying to control other people or put their views on them. (Eg. Very religious people that try and force you to believe their religion. Or Antis that hate on a fictional trope or ship or theme and think no one is allowed to read or write it. That sort of thing)

Something you collect: 

Books! I have several hundered, at this point, and that's after having to bin about 300 due to severe damp in a previous house.

Something you forget: 

I dunno. I forgot

What's your love language?

Giving gifts, I think, but I also like touching/leaning on people who I love (only when my skin doesn't feel bruised, which is basically always, and honestly most of the time I'm touch averse lmao). I'm not really sure.

Favourite movie/show: 

Movie; Labyrinth, Lost Boys, Avatar I & Avatar II: the way of water, LOTR Trilogy

Show; Arcane, The Witcher and Cursed

Favourite food:

I really like homemade stew and mash, but I can't make it (thanks fatigue) so I haven't actually had it in years. I love roasties (roasted potatoes) with copious amounts of butter on.

Favourite animal:

Snakes! Specifically I love Dumeril's Boas, Madagascan Ground Boas- and have one of each myself- and I have a soft spot for Boelen's Pythons and European Adders!

What were you like as a child? 

Always daydreaming in my own little world, shy, but also I had anger issues at the age of 4... so a bit of a shitbag lmao.

Favourite subject at school?

Art or Science, though I also liked music!

Least favourite subject: 

Maths. I always used to get yelled at for refusing to do homework, and for drawing in my book and putting my headphones in to listen to music. (It was actually helping me focus, but the fact I had ADHD was completely missed so I just got yelled at for it. I still got a B in my GCSEs though so fuck em!)

What's your best character trait?

I'm incredibly organised (because if I wasn't my life would be an absolute shambles as my memory is shit), and I'm very good at problem solving! If character trait more means "personality" then it would probably be that I am a very caring person.

What's your worst character trait?

I can be very stubborn and headstrong paired with the fact I am a control freak and like things organised, then that tends to frustrate both the people around me and myself...

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

I'd cure my disabilities. Just so I could continue tattooing and take on the studio- or just open my own elsewhere, or I'd go get a career out in the field with snakes and not have to worry about fatigue, collapse, pain or dietary issues wherever I went!

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

Chester Bennington, 100%. I miss him. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life that I was meant to go and see him live on that final tour and I couldn't afford the tickets thanks to an unexpected bill. He was, and still is my hero.

[gowerhardcastle]

Tips After Writing Over Five Million Words

I’ve written a lot of words.  As an adult, from my dissertation to the role-playing games I’ve written or co-written, to various scholarly essays—this is all pre-Choice of Games—I estimate I’ve written 350,000 words. 

Then, Midsummer, which is 200,000.

Tally Ho is 620,000.

And Jolly Good:   Cakes and Ale is 1.2 Million.

That’s 2.37 Million words.  Now, I’m somewhat over 2.75 million words for Jolly Good:  Tea and Scones for a grand total of 5.12 Million Words, and I still have to look up how to spell “businesses” every single time.

My point is that I’ve written words.  Not all of those words are good, let me be clear.  Like, I don’t care if you are a huge fan of my game writing and you hunger for more, I don’t think you should go seek out my dissertation and read it.  But in the process, I’ve learned some tips about writing—tips about just the mechanical nuts and bolts writing, tips about the craft of writing, tips about writing interactive fiction, and tips about writing in Choicescript.  I want to share some of these things.

Here’s some really, really practical nuts and bolts things I’ve learned, for me.  They are what I wish I knew starting out.  I made a long list.  There are about fifty things on it.  Here are the first ten:

Writing a thousand words a day is fine.  It’s good, and it’s achievable.  But if your goal is to write crazy-long interactive fiction (as seems to be the fashion) be aware of what that means:  a thousand words a day, will get you to a million words in somewhere around three years.  Million word IF is getting more common and expectations are rising.  If you want to write two million words at that pace, now we’re talking six years.  You either need to write faster or you have to have realistic expectations for when this thing is going to be done.

I have to reiterate point 1.  Writing long interactive fiction takes forever.  You have to be prepare to pour your life force into it.  I was sitting writing Chapter Six and I suddenly thought about a scene from Chapter Two and I said, aloud, “is that from the same game?”  It seemed impossible, because I had written it so long before.  If you aren’t ready to spend years and years on this, this might not be your genre.  I am lucky that I happen to write (and type) super fast, but even so, years and years.

Because long interactive fiction takes so long to write, if you don’t have a character bible, you are going to have a really rough time of it when you have to describe some minor character’s facial hair about whom you last thought of sixteen months ago.  At the same time, every second you spend writing a character bible is a second you aren’t writing the thing itself. 

That leads me to this point:  when you write like this, you give up a lot too.  Time to play computer games, to go to a fall festival, to just sit with friends on the sofa and talk.  You are just there, writing, alone.  And thoughts about cost-benefit start drifting into your mind.  “If I want to start learning to read Ancient Greek, think how many hours that would take away from writing!”  So you have to be very very careful that it doesn’t invade everything, including your thoughts when you are doing other stuff.  You need the other stuff.  Without the other stuff you get boring and you lose the fertile ground for words to grow in.  But my point is that when you see a great piece of writing, there were a lot of choices made, things that were given up, and time that was carved out for it, and it can be painful.  You have to go into this open-eyed.

The back and neck are the weak points.  They give out way before the hands, on me, anyhow.  After a day of writing, I feel like my spine has fused.  Combine writing days with exercise days.  Especially as you age, which you will if you choose to write long interactive fiction.

I email myself my current draft every time I finish writing.  Have some way of preserving every single version.  I can’t tell you how many times I have to go back and refer to an earlier version when I realize I liked it better the way I did it last week.  There’s assuredly a higher-tech way to do this, but this works for me.

If you are bored when you are writing, the writing will be boring.  Enjoy your own writing.  Laugh at your jokes.  Feel bad for your characters when they are sad.  If you’re feeling, that’s a good sign. 

If you go to a café and bring a notebook and a sharp pencil, you can enjoy a nice writing session and be in the world for a while.  Writing you do with a pencil in a notebook will be different in quality and texture from writing at the computer, and I can’t explain why.  Mix it in.

Carry a little notebook with you that fits in your pocket.  The ideas will pop up randomly throughout the day.  This is how you snag them.  Write a hundred down and maybe two will be good. I have done this on carousels and in faculty meetings.

This last one I particularly want to address to my younger self who was trying to write novels and stories in middle school and high school, as well as to everyone else working on early stuff.  I used to be very annoyed at the process of writing because (and I remember saying this to myself) I didn’t understand the point of writing when nobody was going to read it, or maybe one or two friends but probably not.  Writing felt like a thing I did that I spent hard work on for a long time, and then I put it in a drawer. 

What I wish I had known regarding the above was that this is the equivalent of training in some mountaintop retreat, honing my craft, doing the million pushups, becoming a writing ninja.  I wish someone had told me that it didn’t matter if anyone read it.  That wasn’t the point.  I was figuring stuff out.  It takes a really long time to create your own writing style.  This is how it happens.  Just do it, and do it, and do it.  The practice is its own reward, not publication, which I incorrectly thought was my goal at the time when I was learning how to write.

[kiwi-cult]

PARSELSCRIPT!!

Hi. This is mostly for the people from Discord but tadah! I'm finally making that Tumblr post I've been talking about for months.

(Warning this will probably be very chaotic)

To anyone new who sees this: me and some friends made an alphabet for Parseltongue from Harry Potter, aka Parselscript. I'll take you on a little journey to explain my process and give you some tips, should you want to start writing it.

Disclaimer: I wanted to make this script usable for the writer I made it for so it's less of an actual language and more just some characters to represent the Latin (or ‘English’) letters. Like a cipher. It is not realistic. If I made this realistic I'd have to add all sorts of things to indicate body language and smell etc and also have to figure out what sounds Parseltongue actually has etcetera etcetera. No.

Alright.

It all started when we started talking about Parselscript in a Discord server and I asked my friend Ava to visualise the script because she seemed to have a clear vision of it, so I could use it to go from there.

That's how we got this.

I think we all wanted to go with something flowery for some reason, so we did.

After this I just messed around with brushes and shapes in Procreate for a while, tweaking things and trying to make it more writeable. I ended up with something like this (still a rough draft).

It may look a bit like random squiggles at first, and it kinda was at this point. As you can see there's also a lot of added dots and lines, which can be a bit hard to remember and I see you wondering what it looks like without them.

Well here it is.

I showed this to the people I brainstormed with in Discord and we decided to go with the more complicated version because it looks better lol.

This is one of the final versions.

It says: "Hello, my name is Kiwi Cult. I made this script after reading a fanfic called Terrible, But Great written by Isalise the loml on Archive Of Our Own."

Now, to talk about some of the (boring) logistics.

It is read from left to right, top to bottom.

Every separate combination of squiggles you see above is a separate word. Every word is made up of a starting character, one or more letter characters and an ending character.

The very first character you see in the top left corner, with the three petal looking thingies, is a silent starting character that indicates the start of a sentence. Not word: sentence. The end of the character, that little circle thingy, is a comma. So, the first combination says: "Hello,".

Then, the second combination starts with a kind of hook going down and right. This is also a silent character and more meant as an interpunction, that's why you don't pronounce it. It's kind of just a way to start the word when there isn't anything special about it (aka it's not the start of a sentence, a name, an exclamation or a question. But every character is special in its own right🥲). The same kind of hook can be found at the bottom of the combination, except going up. It has the same use, basically just a way to end the word when there isn't anything special about it. Now, you might ask: why does it go right and not left?

We talked about this a while, because I wanted the direction to have some kind of meaning. We wondered about gender, tone, blah blah all kinds of complicated things but in the end I just wanted this script to be writable so I chose to have proficient writers in Parseltongue make their hooks go left and beginners have their hooks go right.

Now, you might notice that I end my words with a hook going right. That is because I don't see myself as a pro in writing in Parselscript okay? It's hard!😭💀

Now, other than the character indicating the start of a sentence, the circle, and the simple hook, there are a few other characters to start or end a combination (don't worry I'll show them all to you at the end, you won't have to use your imagination for long).

We have a character to indicate a name. Now, the rule is: name indicator over start of sentence indicator. So, if you start a sentence with a name, you'll use the symbol to indicate a name, NOT BOTH. (That's not even possible but I don't even want to see you try and butcher my child).

There is a character to indicate a sentence that would usually be followed by an exclamation mark (!), but at the start of the sentence. Then you’d end the exclamated sentence with a period.

The same goes for a question mark (?): put it at the start of a question, not the end. Again, it wouldn't even be possible to use it at the end of a combination but I DON'T EVEN WANNA SEE YOU TRY.

Finally we have a period (.), which looks a bit like a flower with four petals. You do use this one at the end of a word, and it is always followed by a start of sentence indicator or a name indicator. I know people are rejecting capitals these days in their typing but I don't wanna see it. If you start a word after a period with a hook I will find you.

If a sentence starts with a name that is also a question or exclamation you’d use the question/exclamation mark above the name indicator, otherwise it would take away a vital part of the sentence while a name can still be read even if it doesn’t have its indicator.

So, to put it all next to each other, the symbols we have are: -start of sentence indicator -name indicator -exclamation mark (!) -question mark (?) -period (.) -hook (direction depends on efficiency) -comma (,) (direction depends on efficiency)

I didn't make adjusted characters to indicate a capital letter like we do in the Latin alphabet, meaning that the only things you can kind of 'capitalise' are the start of a sentence and the start of a name.

It is also slightly phonetic. Emphasis on slightly. I made separate characters for almost all letters in the Latin alphabet, so you can just write your word normally with Parselscript characters. The only difference is that I made only one character for the 'f/v' sounds and that there is no 'c' character. If a word has a 'c' in it, you'll have to use the character for a 'k' or an 's'. Also a ‘q’ can be made with ‘k’ and ‘w’ etc.

A few examples: -character=karakter -parselscript=parselskript -crazy=krazy -science=siense

-quiz=kwuiz

I know it looks a bit confusing, but I trust you guys' ability to read context clues and figure out what someone means when you try to decipher Parselscript.

Now, for a word like 'phonetic' or 'decipher' I don't really care whether you use the separate characters for 'p' and 'h' or just the one for the 'f/v' sound. You do you.

I also don’t use any double letters because they basically sound the same and it looks ugly but if you want to use double symbols feel free.

I also made some numbers that do not look like they fit with the rest of the script but I promise you that's just because you're not used to it yet. Our own numbers don't belong with our alphabet either because we nicked them from the Arabs (I think, don't quote me on this) but we don’t notice that either.

Tadah. (Yes I know it’s out of order I told you this was gonna be chaotic af)

Other than that, feel free to ask me questions if I've forgotten anything or if you're wondering about anything. I can't guarantee that I have a good answer because I might not even have thought about it myself, but I can always try to come up with something. I am one person, I'm afraid I haven't been able to take everything about a script into consideration.

Now, without further ado; here is the key.

No, your eyes didn't deceive you: there are two versions. The first has a bit more loose squiggles than the second one. I realised that when I was writing physically, the second version was much nicer to write, so it is kind of like Simplified Parselscript. I haven't decided yet if I'm gonna put some lore behind it or not yet. But I included the og one if you're a tryhard and wanna take it on.

Now, if you're gonna start writing it yourself, here is the stroke order.

I tried to make it as clear as possible but please ask me if you're confused on anything.

Red is the starting point of the whole symbol, the arrows indicate the direction to go in, x marks the start of the small extra's.

Now, I'd also recommend writing on some type of paper with vertical lines like this if you're gonna do it physically.

You can just turn a paper with normal, horizontal lines a quarter to get vertical lines. Also, do NOT write in between the lines. They are meant to help you keep the start and ending on the same line so you don't start going into crazy directions while writing. So, start your sentence symbol or hook or whatever in the middle of the line and try to keep coming back to that vertical line after every letter. As you gain more proficiency you'll probably go straight into the next letter without going back to the line all the time but I think this is a good starting point.

I also recommend writing with a fountain pen or something else that flows well because it’s easier to write that way.

Here is another rough draft I made on physical paper to get a feel for it. As you can see this draft had a lot more different starting characters and ending characters so just ignore that. Hope this motivates you a bit or smth.

Lmk if you want me to post a video of me writing in this Parselscript.

Also please let me know if you know of someone else who's also made a Parselscript because I tried to look for it on Tumblr and Twitter etc but I couldn't find anything.

I also feel like there’s a big mistake I made that I realised the last time I worked on this script but I’ve forgotten it now so if you find out please comment or dm or anything💀

Also feel free to use in your own fic, tho a little tiny shoutout in the a/n would be nice :) I’m @/kiwi_cult on Ao3, @/slvtr_ on Wattpad, @/kiwi cult on ff.net, @/slvtr.1 on TikTok and @/.slvtr on Discord.

Credits:

@natis-balamnimaja @asterialvia and @/zee (who unfortunately left the server and I don't know the Tumblr @ of) for brainstorming with me and @isalisewrites for inspiring us and making the server we discussed this in.

Okay bye :) tell me if I forgot anything.

🥝

[cripplecharacters]

Regarding fictional disabilities: since there is no way to research a disability that doesn’t exist, how do you go about writing it in a way that makes it good rep and not offensive? For some context specific to my story, magic based abilities are biological rather than learnt and can manifest at any age, though if it develops at a young age it can cause development issues or brain injuries. One of my characters experienced this and developed a power that was psychological in nature, but because he was so young and couldn’t cope with the actual power, it left him with memory and intellectual problems. I was originally looking into stuff like dissociative amnesia or maybe even alzheimers but since the symptoms don’t fully line up I can’t just rely on it completely. My overall point here is that if resources for a fictional disability don’t exist, how can you write it while still taking into consideration real life disabilities? My bad if this is worded weirdly, I tried to keep it as specific as possible without delving into the full on details of the story and character. Have a nice day!:3

Hey!

First rule would be to not do harm. So not propagating misinformation or nonsense about the real life disabilities that the fictional one resembles (here that would probably be pediatric brain injury and/or intellectual disability). I don't think anyone expects realistic representation from a made up condition that they don't have but if you're deciding to associate it with one that's real, you have to be mindful of it. Even if it's a fictionalized version of a developmental disability you can't just go (example, not trying to insinuate you want to do that) "this character is an adult but is mentally 4 because of this fictional disorder that is made up and totally not close to anything IRL so it's ok to say", it would just look pretentious to pretend that it's something completely unrelated to a real disability if the character has symptoms that strongly align with one.

If your fictional condition is made of symptoms that exist in real life (but maybe not for the same reasons/don't really exist together) try to research them one by one. If he has memory problems, research how this specifically affects people with it - Alzheimer's comes with a myriad of other things that might give you an incorrect idea on how just that one symptom presents. For brain injuries, check what parts of the brain do what - damage to different parts might cause very different symptoms. You can read about this here in the context of strokes. Having an actual symptom list of things that your character has will be more helpful than thinking of it as "condition x if it was condition b/ condition c if it didn't have [major part]", even if that's how it's explained in-universe to help the other characters/readers get it - you as the author should know the ins and outs so that you can actually keep track of how your character functions and not have continuity errors.

It'd also be interesting to figure out what other symptoms this kind of scenario could cause that didn't happen to this one character (unless he's the only person this happened to). Developmental disability is a really big spectrum, and so are memory problems. I imagine that there would be other people more and less disabled than him who would have the same condition - this could affect how his is seen in-universe. Is he a very mild case, and not receiving the kind of support he needs because it's "not that bad"? Or is he on the severe end, and other people pity him and send condolences to his family? Think about the grander scheme of things.

I hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[lordansketil]

Since all the contemporary depictions of George IV was idealised in some way, how do you imagine him when you write him? Do you envision him as an actor who portrayed him? How about the more realistic sketches/accounts of how he looked? Do you base your descriptions on accounts from when he lived? Is it a mixture of all?

So, the starting place for figuring out what George IV looked like is about finding a balance between portraiture and caricature, but that's not all there is to it. Many of his earlier portraits (from his twenties to forties) are not as idealised and there are portraits of him by more amateur artists as well that do not flatter him as much. It's always worth remembering that Prinny was twenty-nine when Gillray's 'A Voluptuary Under the Horrors of Digestion' was published.

The more famous paintings of him were shown at the Royal Academy and reviewed (and the critics were very ready to say if they felt a portrait wasn't true to life). So you can look up what his contemporaries thought of various portraits.

Thomas Moore described this 1815 portrait by Sir Thomas Lawrence as a "lie upon canvas", but William Hazlitt's review is delightful:

"Sir Thomas Lawrence had with the magic of his pencil recreated the Prince Regent as a well-fleshed Adonis of thirty-three; and... we could not... but derive a high degree of goodnatured pleasure from imagining to ourselves the transports with which his Royal Highness must have welcomed this improved version of himself. It goes beyond all that wigs, powders and pomatums have been able to effect for the last twenty years. Talk of the feelings of Bonaparte as he re-entered the Tuileries - psha! nonsense! Think of the feelings of the Regent when he saw himself in this picture!"

It is actually possible that a couple of his first portraits as Prince Regent were slightly less idealised than they might otherwise have been because he was anxious and ill for a lot of 1811 and sources say he lost a great deal of weight during that time due to stress, although he put it all back on and then some after he hurt his ankle in 1812 and had his first bout of gout.

I think it's worthwhile looking at how artists other than Lawrence depict him in his late forties and fifties.

You can see how broad his face is and how he's using his cravat and high shirt points to conceal his double chin and you can piece together a picture of his features based on what's carried across. In the central picture Hoppner even gives his stomach some prominence.

Now, going back to just the features of the Lawrence portrait rather than the obviously false figure, you can see his round face, low set ears, lips, the dimple he turns away from the viewer, the shape of his brows, the set and colour of his eyes, and the double chin pushing out his stock, are pretty consistent with other portraits drawn from life. You can reference what he looked like when he was younger as well. The flattering light probably obscures crow's feet, but people who carry a lot of weight in their face often look younger than they are. It's his neck and shoulders that have been distorted to make him seem more slender.

So portraits of George IV are actually a pretty good way to see what his features looked like and what he wore, provided you look at multiple artists and take things with a grain of salt. What they're not good for, by and (cough) large, is getting an accurate idea of his figure. For that I mostly have to rely on a few sketches, caricature, and contemporary descriptions.

I've posted Wilkie's sketches and a couple of descriptions of him when he was younger, but let's have some descriptions of him in middle age. Here's Thomas Creevey:

"He was in his best humour, bowed and spoke to all of us, and looked uncommonly well, though very fat. He was in his full field marshal's uniform. He remained quite cheerful and full of fun to the last - half past twelve - asked after Mrs Creevey's health, and nodded and spoke when he passed us."

The Earl of Albemarle, who played with Mrs Fitzherbert's ward, Minnie Seymour, when he was a boy, describes him vividly:

"His appearance and manners were both of a nature to produce a lively impression on the mind of a child - a merry, good-humoured man, tall though somewhat portly in stature, in the prime of life, with laughing eyes, pouting lips; and a nose which very slightly turned up, gave a peculiar poignancy to the expression of his face. He wore a well-powdered wig, adorned with a profusion of curls, which, in my innocence, I believed to be his own hair, as I did a very large pigtail appended thereto. His clothes fitted him like a glove, his coat was single-brested and buttoned up to the chin. His nether garments were leather pantaloons and Hessian boots. Round his throat was a huge white neckcloth of many folds, out of which his chin always seemed to be struggling to emerge.

No sooner was His Royal Highness seated in his arm-chair than my young companion would jump onto one of his knees, to which she seemed to claim a prescriptive right. Straightaway would arise animated talk between 'Prinny and Minnie' as they respectively called themselves. As my father was high in favour with the Prince at the time, I was occasionally admitted to the spare knee and a share in the conversation, if conversation it could be called, when all were talkers and none listeners."

Here's the Grand Duchess of Oldenberg, who pretty much hated him at first sight, on his manner and appearance. She acknowledges his good looks but deplores his overweight figure and efforts to flirt with her:

"Handsome as he is, he is a man visibly used up by dissipation and rather disgusting. His much boasted affability is the most licentious, I may even say obscene, strain I have ever listened to. You know I am far from being puritanical or prudish; but I avow that with him... I do not know what to do with my eyes and ears - a brazen way of looking where eyes should not go."

Lady Bessborough writes to her lover about how she had to beat him off with a metaphorical stick as he tries to woo her with a change in government and grovelling on the floor:

"He has kill'd me--such a scene I never went thro': his manner to you was to open the most Vehement Tirade... then a list of your inconsistencies... I stared and he went on, and after another long tirade threw himself on his knees, and clasping me round, kiss'd my neck before I was aware of what he was doing. I screamed with vexation and fright; he continued sometimes struggling with me, sometimes sobbing and crying... then mixing abuse of you, vows of eternal love, entreaties and promises of what he would do--he would break with Mrs. F and Ly. H., I should make my own terms!! I should be his sole confidant, sole advisor--private or public--Mr Canning should be prime minister (whether in this reign or the next did not appear); then over and over and over again the same round of complaint, despair, entreaties, and promises... and then that immense, grotesque figure flouncing about half on the couch, half on the ground... I have not room or time to tell you half what passed. You know when he came; he had the conscience to stay til eight! ...After telling him for two hours that I never could or would be on any other terms with him than the acquaintance he had always honour'd me with, we came to a tolerably friendly making up and he kept me two more telling me stories..."

In terms of writing him, all of this makes for lots of material to draw on. His personality comes across very strongly and most people who met him wrote about him because of who he was. I always laugh when I read about Mrs Creevey, who had displeased him by leaving the Pavilion early two nights before, making him "a curtsey perhaps rather more grave, more low and humble than usual (meaning--'I beg your pardon dear, foolish, beautiful Prinny, for making you take the pet') and he put out his hand." Taking the pet meant having a sulk.

All the descriptions of him are so memorable, I don't find it too difficult to piece it all together. I guess one difficult thing is exactly how heavy he was at various points since his weight is obscured in paintings and exaggerated in caricature. But there's the 17 stone measurement from the 1790s and his 50 inch coronation waist, so that's a good basic guideline. There are records of how often his clothes were taken out. He was fat. Everybody knew it. A pro-government journalist covering the Ascot Races in 1828 even frames his size as a good thing:

"It cannot be denied that the popularity of these races arises more from the sanction afforded them by his Majesty, than from the mere running. Horses may be seen every day, but Kings are scarce; and the sight of one is something to talk of, and is recompense for an immensity of fatigue and expense. Of the thousands congregated at least three out of every five came to see the King; and it is a fortunate circumstance for his admiring subjects, that the Royal Person is sufficiently bulky not to be mistaken for that of any less personage."

So, I guess in a very roundabout answer to your question, I try to describe him based on the souce material available. My Prinny is a character, of course, and I take a lot of liberties with him, but I try to get across what he was like in looks and personality. I always recommend reading books about him if you're interested because he really was Like That and the more you know about him the more Like That he becomes.

Thanks for the ask, Nonny!

[heelsofboreas]

So here's my essay/rant about how I think parentification can be incorporated into your c!Punz and how you can use that to give c!Mercenary duo a tense and fun complex relationship.

Helios, you might be asking, what the fuck is that word? Parentification? It sounds like a disease and I'm an audience stand in.

tw for child abuse. discussed and not in detail, but as a concept for plot and mentions of long term impacts

Great point. I genuinely want to discuss what parentification is from a psychological perspective to make sure we're on the same page. So, basically, Parentification happens when a child (teens included), intentionally or not, is forced to take on developmentally inappropriate roles and responsibilities often because an adult won't/can't. If it's developmentally appropriate it's not parentification. Its been primarily divided into emotional and instrumental. Emotional is when a child is handling the social/emotional needs of family members in a way that isn't appropriate. Instrumental involves physical tasks like cooking, cleaning, and even providing financial support. A child fetching something from the fridge for an adult making dinner is not parentification. A 10 year old having to wake up in the middle of the night every night to change a diaper is.

Genuinely take some time to research it before you write it. I don't have time to get into things like the gender bias, but trust me there is a huge gender bias. Eldest daughter syndrome is a phrase for a reason, but it's not an issue restricted to being the oldest or being the daughter.

So, how can you utilize this to make a less black and white Punz was just awful to Purpled and abandoned him vibe? You make it so for some reason, Punz was the parentified caretaker of Purpled and there was no one to support Punz. Not anyone that would be able to fix things, anyways. This makes it so Purpled can have been very hurt by the situation, because the reason this would be so awful is that Punz was Also Just A Kid. Punz would not be fully equipped to raise another even younger child. It becomes a tragedy that they had to endure together but with a power dynamic that Punz can still have botched as the older brother.

This is also a very flexible situation. Did Punz pick a child up off the street to keep baby Purpled from freezing to death? That's what I write. You can also write them as bio siblings with absent/neglectful parents. Or bio siblings on the street. Maybe Punz is too young to understand the consequences of running them away from a shit life. Or maybe even from help he doesn't understand as safe. Either way, Purpled is now left alone in the hands of someone who isn't prepared to take care of him. What's next?

A few options. In my version Purpled gets incredibly sick and is for a while because Punz is like 10 and doesn't know how to treat a sick infant. In the end Punz takes Purpled to a church, where Punz starts doing work in exchange for Purpled's medical care and a place to sleep (he does this a lot). But they ditch the place when the grown ups start talking about getting them placed with a family. Specifically a placement that might split them. From there Punz is determined to make it work alone regardless of the cost to them.

You could also do Punz is playing protector and caretaker. With one or two parents that are in a sense useless or abusive. My Punz only really has parentification involving siblings, but you could easily make it even more complex by involving one or more shitty and/or passive parents. I sometimes do this in modern aus because it's just more realistic in that setting.

Additional things you can do with this:

Purpled gets taken away from Punz/their family, and resents the perceived abandonment

Punz gets taken away/put a in a position where for Purpled's safety they can't interact (kicked out by family, job things, abusive situation)

They just don't like each other. They can always just not like each other. Maybe Punz was too hard on Purpled. maybe Punz is just not the kind of caretaker Purpled needed and failed him (but they were a kid/teen too so there's nuance)

It's an act. They pretend to hate each other and not be related for safety concerns, but at the end of the day they do care (some of that fake resentment could even be actually real resentment that leads to some miscommunication issues)

So now the fun part for me, why your c!Punz should have been parentified:

Parentification can lead to difficulty establishing boundaries - this can be improved upon but often it becomes difficult to say no (which can contribute to enabling others, see: the criticism that punz enables dream's destructive tendencies)

I think it just makes any post-prison recovery arcs more interesting because Dream is going through all of that while Punz is quietly falling into a familiar role just one they chose this time instead of one that was forced on them

Parentification does increase your risk of long-term mental health issues. I don't know how I would even begin to write a neurotypical Punz and I'm happy for the clear justification to not have to

"No one can/will help me. I take care of myself." the whump potential. are you hearing me?

also the potential for a caretaking role swap

Punz is overall a pretty angry person and quick to act on perceived threats. Being in a protector role in childhood would establish that tendency early and make it concrete. Especially since Punz is CLEARLY a protective person (cough "don't touch dream" cough)

So that's just about my thoughts on that. Maybe this will make me write more Mercenary Duo once I finish like real people do.

[dhruvkumaar]

"Reality is stranger than fiction." Obviously, duh.

Alright, hear me out. It was just a prompt that my professor gave to the class, and… and it made me think. I couldn't really attempt it well, but I wrote something in the middle that… that just inspired me to write this blog. Because it’s something nobody talks about.

Throughout my life, I’ve heard a lot of people say how reality is stranger than fiction. And, as a writer myself, it kinda worries me. It’s like they’re belittling the art that I’m so passionate about. Like, they just… don't see what I see, y’know.

I mean, it’s kinda dumb, now that I think about it. But I still feel this way. I’m one of the firm believers of art-imitates-life philosophy, so I don't buy it when people say that reality is stranger than fiction. What got you thinking this way?

Have you ever read Dostoyevsky? McCarthy? Or even me? Alright, the last one was a little bit of a stretch—I’m quite literally writing a shonen dark-fantasy web-novel, which is the last thing you can consider realistic. Anyways, you get my point. Prose can be highly realistic when it needs to be, so how can you say that reality is often stranger, when the lines are so blurry? You have never consumed realistic stories?

What I just said is bullshit. I hate to break it to you, but here’s the truth: these guys are right. Reality is stranger than fiction. But there’s some nuances that I wanna rant about.

So, welcome to FictionStudent!

***

Writers often find inspiration from instances that have happened in their lives. Most stories are not just stories—they represent the lived experiences of humans who tell them.

Stories can take any form—a novel, a film, or even in art, music. You name it. Advertising uses a lot of storytelling too to get customers, as far as I understand.

Stories are everywhere around us. We’re actually surrounded by stories. We just don't know. Newspapers, ads, Instagram Reels or Tiktoks, any social-media content, blogs—heck, even this blog! And on top of that, we also narrate stories to each other all the time. You might tell your mom how your day at school was, or your spouse how work went. Isn't all of it stories?

That’s what we mean when we say art imitates life. Art comes out of life. Something happens to us, and we just can't keep it in. We have to write about it. And that’s how we write stories.

It was just a prompt that my professor gave me. But it made me think. And it made me realize how art is not just a realistic representation of life, but a highly polished version of it.

Think about your life. Your life is not… just one story. Your life is a bunch of stories running all around you, with you. When you’re yapping to your best-friend about how your class-presentation sucked today, your presentation wasn't the only story.

You were preparing for it for days. Designed the slides with care. Practiced it well. And still got sweaty hands when it mattered.

But, is that the only story that was going on at that point of time? Yeah, it’s the story you write about, or at least narrate to others—but there’s a lot more happening that you just don't add in that story. For example, the coffee today sucked. Or that some professor scolded you for some really silly reason. Or that you had a class today that you hated a little lesser than you usually do.

We don't tell everything that’s happening in our lives when we tell our stories. We just tell the parts that matter to that one particular story.

That’s why I said that art is a highly polished version of life. Life doesn't make any sense on a whole—it’s composed of little fragments that we join and delete and mold together to tell a story which actually makes any sense.

Look throughout your day. Yeah, you designed a presentation today. You took four hours to make it. Then you went for a coffee and it sucked. And then you spent some time with your friends, and went to sleep. That’s reality.

Days later, stuff continued to happen. One thing led to another, and the fragments began to join together. And you messed up the presentation today. You couldn't buy coffee today because you’re low on money. You went to buy eggs.

Our life is just filled with these little fragments that together don't make much sense. But some fragments are like seeds—they grow a stem, and then those stems grow branches. And these branches begin connecting to other branches. Everything expands. Stuff happens. Some fragments begin making sense together. Sometimes, we make the connections ourselves.

So yeah, when you ask me, reality is stranger than fiction. Because fiction isn't supposed to be strange. It’s supposed to be an organized version of life itself. 

Life happens. Art is created.

[alpaca-clouds]

Why all most vampires are depressed

A few days ago, there was a bit of a discussion on one of the Castlevania discord servers, because I said that Dracula was suicidal before Lisa came to the castle in the first place. The first reaction was: "Oh, with you all vampires are suicidal!" To which I could not help but reply: "Well, yeah. Kinda. At least very depressed."

Let me explain: Vampires still have a brain and a nervous system. As such it stands to reason that they can be traumatized. (As our beloved vampire spawn above so readily demonstrates in BG3.)

Now, most vampires are not Astarion, who gets turned and then literally tortured for 200 years. But in most worlds we see that have vampire characters (compared to vampires as mindless monsters) we still have at least some sort of conflicts happening between vampires and their sires. We also have a lot of conflicts happening between vampires and vampires and humans. Not to mention, that most vampires will have to kill at some point or another.

And here is the thing: Our nervous system tends to collect trauma. Even the small traumas. It is how you get CPTSD instead of just normal ass PTSD. And if you live hundreds of years, well, you get a lot more chances to experience small and medium traumas. It does not have to be this one big trauma (though the chances are obviously also bigger for that), it can just be a lot of small stuff collecting over time.

Almost all worlds we see with vampires, the vampire culture tends to be one that values strength shown through violence. We also see vampire culture being one of politics, where if not literal backstabbing, there is at least social backstabbing going on. Which both are things that would easily lead to trauma. And then there is just the fact that vampires drink from humans, and might kill some of them. And, well... Killing people usually also traumatizes the killer.

You get where I am going I hope.

And additionally to that there is the other part of being immortal: You gonna see most people you ever cared about die. Scratch that: You are gonna see your CULTURE DIE. The world is constantly changing. Cultures change. Some cultures die out. You are still around, but the world around you is no longer the world you grew up in. That, too, is traumatizing.

This is also something I think will still be addressed in Olrox in future seasons of Castlevania: Nocturne. Because he saw his culture being killed. Yeah, the man is traumatized, what do you think?

So, yeah. When I write vampires, they usually are traumatized, depressed, and not rarely have some suicidal ideations. Because I feel it is only realistic. You just cannot live that long and not be traumatized af.

And, yeah. Just look at Dracula in Castlevania. Do you think a person, who started out in a mentally good place, goes from "my wife is dead" to "yeah, kill all humans, before all the vampires (including myself) will starve to death"?

But also... It makes for interesting stories. Because there is just a powerful statement behind a character going from "I am sad, the world is hurting me" to "I want to live".

Which is why I just love Astarion's story so much. That boy deserves to have a nice life now. To heal. And find stuff he likes doing.

It is also why I love writing my version of Striga the way I do. Because she is traumatized as fuck, but she also decided that if she gives into it, the people who have hurt her, would have won. So, instead she lives and finds the good things in her life, and she helps others.

[fipindustries]

i was watching a review by genetically modified skeptic of a christian movie about an atheist psychologist interviewing a death row serial killer who is possesed by a demon.

the demon tells the doctor that he is a demon and he is very adamant in trying to make the doctor believe him. he also apparently hates atheists and goes on a huge rant about how atheist are stupid or whatever.

now, drew (genetically modified skeptic) rightfully points out that is silly for the demon to try to convince the atheist that he is a demon or for the demon to be angry that the doctor is an atheist, after all the demon would want people to not think he is a demon so its easier for him to corrupt them and spread lies and seed doubts about god, right?

so that got me thinking how i would write a good version of this story where the demon is interviewed by an atheist doctor and his goal is not to be discovered but then the atheist slowly comes to realize what he is truly dealing with by the end of it*. the premise sounds interesting, it would lend itself to some pretty good dialog between them, some interesting mindgames and there would be the constant ambiguity of "is he really a demon or not". similar to another horror movie that i really like "the autopsy of jane doe" where two scientifically minded doctors have to perform an autopsy on the body of a woman and they slowly come to realize she was a witch and her evil powers can still affect them even after death.

first we need to establish what is the goal of the demon here, probably he wants the doctor to diagnose him as insane so that he can do an insanity plea and not get killed. this is trickier than it sounds, getting an insanity plea can be hard and doctors will try hard to detect when someone is acting in bad faith. so that would be the first central tension of the movie, wether this guy is actually insane or not.

second we need something that would make even a skeptic start to suspect that the guy might actually be possesed by a demon, maybe the act of entering the body is extremely violent and traumatic to the point that the victim goes into epileptic, a fuge state and become extremely aggressive, maybe that is how he was trapped in the first place. maybe the killer tried to summon a demon and so he was found near the ritual site surrounded by sigils and diagrams and blood and candles and a victim that was sacrified or whatever.

afterwards we could make it so that a body that is possesed for long periods of time starts to slowly rot, maybe strange paranormal phenomena that the demon cannot control starts happening around him, like not being properly captured on camera or mirror reflections looking a little strange. all things that could make the doctor start asking questions that the demon has to find the way to answer convincingly while also selling the idea that he is insane.

the trick would be in making the external phenomena weird and notorious enough that even an atheist doctor would start to open his mind to the idea that he is dealing with something paranormal but also not make it so obvious that there isnt dramatic tension for the audience and there isnt a realistic possibility for the demon to get away with it.

(*) in re-reading this i have come to realize that this is actually more or less the plot of the exorcist, for most of the movie the people are desperatly trying to find out what is wrong with the girl by diagnosing her with mental illness and doing MRI scans and whatever, and the priest himself is very skeptic of the idea that an exorcism is needed, the exorcism doesnt happen until the very end

[snowthedemonfox]

Okay so we're at it again with me posting another theory, this one I haven't seen anyone else point out yet so I might as well post about it. This might be a bit long, so prepare to do some reading

TL;DR: CAINE'S OFFICE IN EP 4 IS CONNECTED TO THE OFFICE AREA WE SEE IN THE PILOT

I'll explain under the cut because THIS WILL TAKE A BIT:

ONE: Even if Caine was playing the part of upper management this episode, I don't think he made this office area just for the sake of the adventure.

There's heaps of books in the background, ranging from info about Gloinks, a Murder Drones parody, a reference to the Pilot, and a book that's called "MatPat Theory". You can see a small version of the Tent next to his monitor, along with various drawings on his desk and on the pinboard in the background.

I think this is Caine's ACTUAL office, where he goes to work on any upcoming adventures he's making for the cast. I've said in a previous post that after this episode I believe all future (or at least most) adventures will be based on suggestions from the suggestions box. (To make a long story short, Ragatha seems to like baseball, and the season 1 trailer showed us a WIP version of a baseball stadium. Would not surprise me if she's the one who suggested that.)

Yes, we see Caine throw away the box after deciding on the Spudsy's adventure, but Caine logic is Caine logic and it wouldn't surprise me if he just /tp'd that box to this out of bounds office area for him to look through later. His main priority is making sure that EVERYONE likes his adventures, and it makes sense that he would take advantage of the suggestions box (after being reminded it exists), especially after his therapy session with Zooble in episode 3.

He's in his office because he's decided to scrap his current list of adventures and instead make adventures based on what the humans seem to want. It'd also make sense that this is the one adventure where he actually decides to use his 'all seeing eyes' to watch the cast throughout the day. He's seeing if they do better on a suggested adventure compared to an adventure HE came up with. That's why he's got all the photos of them throughout the day, and is keeping track of their scores on his computer (An AI having his own computer? A computer within a computer?). And based on the scores he gave them, he doesn't seem to notice that nobody really had the best time on a 'realistic' adventure.

It's hard to make out since the screen is blurry, but I'm pretty sure the spreadsheet has the character's names on it (Kinger, Zooble, Jax, Ragatha, & Pomni) along with their scores in the second column. Hard to read what the last one says though. Maybe it's just for additional notes? Gangle most likely isn't listed yet because Caine's talking to her in this scene. He'll write down her score once she leaves.

(Side note, but Caine probably repurposed his horror adventure for Kinger to have fun with while everyone else was at Spudsy's, which would be why his A+ score doesn't count towards the whole 'checking if the humans prefer suggestted ideas more' thing. Kinger didn't do the horror adventure Caine had planned.)

TWO: If every map has a 'backrooms-like' out of bounds area, wouldn't it make sense for this office area to be the out of bounds area for the Tent?

If you compare the office area to episode 2's out of bounds area, they look pretty similar, like a giant maze. We saw that episode 2's out of bounds area still had little areas of importance, like storing the character models, so why wouldn't the office area also have these small rooms? We have the notable computer we see at the end of the pilot, and now Caine's office.

If this area is still connected to the Tent, then it'd make sense for Gangle to know how to leave. Caine probably has a door he spawned in for them to leave through, similar to the Exit door from the Pilot. If I had to guess, it's probably connected to either one of the various doors on the side of the Tent (where we see Pomni checking looking for him in the Pilot), or to one of the bigger hallway doors we see on every floor (which I talk a bit more about in this theory).

Speaking of that Exit door, though- We know Caine never actually finished making that exit. If he had no idea what to put on the other side, wouldn't he just put a placeholder there instead? Like, I don't know, maybe lead it to the out of bounds area directly connected to the Tent? Where his office is? So he can still keep an eye on it?

It's probably why his wackywatch never picked up on the fact Pomni was there until she ended up in the Void. If Gangle can walk freely through the office area to get back to the Tent, then Caine probably has no reason to be alerted if someone's there.

It's not like they're not supposed to be there EVER, and if they got lost, he could find them anyway! (Referring to Kinger's line in ep 2 when talking to Ragatha about Pomni being lost) Someone just tells him that there's a person missing, he tracks them down, and brings them out of the office area.

THREE: If you compare the two locations, a lot of things seem to match.

The lights on the ceiling look near identical, the only difference being that the Pilot's version has some kind of filter... air conditioner thing? I don't know what those are called but if this is a general employee area, it'd make sense to have that there.

There's the same cabinets and even the exact same plant model. The office area in the Pilot already had a lot of re-used models, so if Caine's office is directly connected to it, it'd make sense if it also had these re-used models.

The only thing that doesn't match exactly are the computers.

The monitor Caine uses has little buttons on the bottom of it, while the Pilot computer doesn't. But you could argue that's because the computer seen in the pilot is much older. So if it's been there for a while (Since I can only assume this entire office area is based on the office the actual computer hosting the game's server is in), then you could argue that whatever office this was, just, never upgraded this computer specifically. All the other computers look much newer and more clean, but it's hard to tell if they also have those buttons on the monitors.

If it weren't for the fact we see the C&A logo in Spudsy's as well I'd argue that's also a thing the Pilot and episode 4 have in common, but since we DO see the logo in Spudsy's, I can't really make that argument.

But it's still worth pointing out that Caine uses a computer with the C&A branding on it, and the Pilot's office area has a giant C&A logo on one of the walls. Again, not the strongest piece of evidence here, but I think it's still a good idea to mention it.

Still have no idea on why Caine started glitching out at the end of the episode, though. Hope he's okay.

[i-love-tall-women-with-big-hats]

The Yanderes of the Autumn Court

(Fall has finally 'fallen' haha, and I couldn't resist writing this. I'd say this is based on fairies, but I love cosmic horror too much to not add a wee bit of it...so I named them Alterkinder or Alterkind for singular (lit just German for 'Older Children' smh 😞) because this is my bastardized version of them.

To avoid the overuse of this made up word, I also call them the Fallen, the Autumn Court, autumn fae, or the Wither. If I say 'Yandere' specifically, I'm referring to the Yandere. Though it might seem like it, not all fair folk are lovesick in this world of mine, so the yanderes are one of a kind even compared to their fellow eldritch abominations.

Enjoy this cosmic fairy shit, loves.)

Content: original worldbuilding, stalking as courtship, unintentional cannibalism, kidnapping, necrophilia, eldritch monsters and their own version of love. Took inspirations from Hades and Persephone, but besides the kidnapping scene, nothing else.

༺═─────────────────═༻

The Autumn Court.

Once the greatest of the Alterkinder, they bear scars from wars of ages past.

Nowadays, they are merely remembered as the Fallen, the Shadows of What Was. They were left to rot in the realm of ambers and russets, where the earth is too coarse and barren to grow much of anything.

As a result, the Fallen pride themselves on being resilient, persistent even at the face of hardship and humiliation.

Which is why for you, their mortal pet, it means rejection will never be an option.

Harvest Season

As patron deities of harvests and hunts, the Fallen treat courtship the same way a hunter would a promising prey. It's all a game to some of them. Whereas we mortals have dating rituals, the Autumn Court have what they call 'the Harvesting'.

Elder Fallen will know the season is coming before it even hits them. They will feel it in the breeze flowing through their hair, feel it in the slightest drop in temperature, or in the smallest change to their physiology.

The younger, inexperienced Fallen tend to fall victim to their basest instincts.

Should you find yourself the target of a Fallen's affection, and a Yandere one at that, just know that you will have until winter to dissuade them. Before the first snowfall, they can court you without interference from any other spirits besides those from their own court, so take advantage of it.

I wouldn't get your hopes up though. You'll realize the further more you read this what I mean by 'persistent'.

Finders, Keepers

It is a tradition in the Autumn Court that a fae must brand their chosen prey to prevent any conflict.

At this point, they will not show themselves to their chosen mortal just yet. Reasons vary, but for a Yandere, it's typically because their first priority is to let all the others know that you are theirs and theirs alone. They know just how heated territorial disputes within their court can get, and they'd rather keep you out of it as much as possible.

Though this tradition was founded to prevent any two autumn fae from fighting over the same prey, it isn't always respected. If the Yandere themselves haven't disregarded the brand of their fellow kin, then they are ensuring that nobody else would do the same. Realistically, that is impossible, but some of the more powerful members of the court could absolutely decimate anyone they think covets their pet.

From death by a thousand thorns to being mauled to shreds by their most vicious familiars, but I'll speak of their cruelties later.

How a Fallen chooses to brand their Darling is up to individual preferences.

Among the Headless Riders, their favourite method is to douse their target with their blood. Their human can scrub themselves clean, but little do they know, enough of it will still linger for any fae to notice.

Some are less dramatic and opt for something simpler, like runes and insignias.

I don't know about you, but the lack of blood make it a little less romantic...but that's just my opinion.

Pumpkin Spice and Apple Pies

After they have secured their ownership, this is when the true courtship begins.

Some Elder Fallen may still remember the magic of the Old Summers. They cannot stop the inevitable march of winter, but the chill won't drop any lower than is comfortable for a while just so they could see you wearing your favourite sweaters. Anythig to prevent you from wearing too many layers.

Some could even bless your lands with fertility to ensure a plentiful harvest for the local farmers in your area, or make it drizzle everyday should they see how much you like how it sounds against your windows.

But what can a young Fallen do when he doesn't have much power or prestige to his name?

A feast.

It isn't official, but any Fallen worth their salt must show they are capable providers. The Autumn Court as a whole not only finds pride in being survivors, but in thriving where their enemies thought they will perish.

Roast meat, your favourite desserts, and fruits you cannot name will all be beautifully arranged on your table regardless of how small it is.

But never ask what the meat is from. Don't ask what these fruits are either. The apples' flesh is red, bleeding, for a reason. You wouldn't want to know why.

The feast is simply a symbol of their dedication to you. The Yandere hopes that by showing you the fruits of their labour, you will believe them when they promise that you will never feel fear or hunger ever again.

Just let them take care of you.

The Reaping

At last, fall is coming to an end, and the Fallen are beginning to feel the approach of winter. The time has come for them to choose whether or not they want to keep you.

The Reaping is the last stage, and it is perhaps the most scariest thing the Yandere can do to you during the Harvesting.

This is because for many mortals, they wouldn't even see their suitor until this stage in the Harvesting. It's not like they could have known that the owl, falcon, cat, mountain lion, and fox that they have been encountering was just their secret admirer in disguise.

And as the wise of old said: "The longer the wait, the sweeter the fruit."

Knowing this, the Yandere would certainly abstain from talking to you just to keep the Reaping special.

It would be the first time they'll hear your voice directly being spoken to them, and only them.

It would be the first they'll feel the warmth of your skin and supple flesh, take in your scent and taste.

At last, they have you all entirely to themselves.

It all seems romantic...for the Alterkind. But for you, the first meeting is nothing less than a kidnapping.

Imagine the earth shaking out of nowhere. When you thought it was only an earthquake, the ground quite literally parts in half, and a great hole forms before you. Just as you try to even make sense of it, a great black steed leaps out. Its rider--of course it has a rider. It won't be able to wear the most noblest of accruements otherwise--simply whisks you away, back to which he came from. Your screams of terror will be ignored.

Every Fallen has their own unique love story, but if there is one thing common in all of them, it is that none of the brides were willing.

Zealous Protectors

Their defeat at the hands of the Summer Court and Spring Court had heightened something that every Alterkind has: possessiveness.

For one thing, having their home realm taken from them has made them deeply paranoid. Being stripped of all their wealth and power was like rubbing salt on their wounds.

As such, the Alterkind of the Autumn Court learned to be wary of anyone who so much as look at their possessions wrong.

The average Fallen are zealous in their guardian duties. Elder Fallen especially are known for taking their vows of protection seriously. After all, the memory of what they've lost is still fresh in their mind.

So optimistically, your devoted Alterkind was born several generations after that fateful war, but don't expect much improvement.

One of the most cruelest deaths whispered within the Court came from someone even they least expected.

There was once a prince of a quiet nature. Though far from a pacifist, his temper was not as tempestuous as the winter blizzard or thunderstorms of spring. He planted thorn berries within the belly of a spring fae, nurtured it until they grew out of her bleeding mouth and tore her stomach open.

All of this because she regarded his beloved mortal for longer than what he allowed.

Possessiveness runs deep in the veins of the Alterkinder, be they of autumn, winter, spring, or summer.

But you must know, the culture of the Fallen was built from humiliation, the detritus of their golden age act as its foundation. It nurtured them to become what they are now:

Jealous.

Possessive.

Vindictive.

Like Leaves in Fall

Ironically, the court that finds virtue in change and transition have some of the most...'inflexible' members.

You might think concepts often associated with autumn like decay and inevitability would make them more accepting of death, but alas. Once in a blue moon, you will hear tragic tales exemplifying just how much lower the Fallen Kinder could fall.

The Lovesick of the Autumn Court are just that; patron spirits of rot and inevitable death, unable to accept that even something immaterial and abstract like love can be taken from them.

They themselves can decay. It isn't unheard of for an autumn kind to slowly devolve into the very thing they are masters of. Their skin dries and peels like dried bark as their joints and bones go brittle.

They can grow lonesome.

It may hold onto the rotting corpse, too broken to acknowledge the maggots infesting its sludgy flesh, and imagine movements. In desperate hope, their decayed heart will jump as they think, "They're alive! They're waking up! I don't have to be cold and alone anymore!"

But once the Kind realize they were wrong, the grieving process starts anew, and they hurt all over again.

Their entirety withers. Their thoughts and memories may drift away. Their grasp on reality becomes just as lost as fluttering leaves.

'Reality.'

Where you truly ever theirs to begin with?

.

.

.

The Fallen Fae becomes bitter. Cold.

This cold bitterness grows and grows until it turns into something all-consuming. It will destroying whatever kindle was left in their heart, making it impossible for them to feel the warmth of love or hope ever again.

And so...they hold onto their Darling. A hollow shell of what their love once was.

In the shadows of the past.

Mind scattered in the wind like fallen leaves.

.

.

.

Ivies grow here.

In this cold dungeon of old.

Hush, for you will miss it.

The crying of the Withered.

[thebisexualwreckoning]

I've been thinking a lot about The Hunger Games recently, especially with the new book coming out. About how Suzanne Collins managed to write a book that continues to ripple effect most every single book in the YA genre to this day. The Hunger Games is the ginormous elephant in the room, every single book that comes out with a 17 year old girl who stages an uprising or fights a violent regime is going to be compared to Katniss.

The Hunger Games is one of those books that you can't really recreate though and no matter how much you try, it's just going to be a pale imitation of the original (Powerless anyone?). Unfortunately though, most still continue to try without understanding what Collins was attempting to do with the books, which is probably why she keeps releasing new more blatantly obvious versions of the first books to try and get her point across. Which, while I appreciate as a reader, is slightly terrifying as a human being.

However, the point of this essay is not to make a critique on the decaying moral values of modern day readers and how this trend is only exacerbated through social media, but to talk about Katniss and Alina and how the same endings on seemingly similar characters (at least if you're looking at it through surface level view) can end up being so so different.

I want to preface this by saying that I do not believe that Leigh Bardugo plagiarised Katniss' epilogue for Alina, I'm just pointing out that nothing exists in a vacuum and within the timeline of her publishing journey, it makes sense that certain aspects of her novels might have been influenced by Suzanne Collins.

While Katniss and Alina might appear to be very similar characters at first glance, both impoverished 17 year old girls who have had nothing for most of their lives swept away to live a life of luxury in exchange for laying down their lives for their new benefactors (Literally in Katniss' case), that is where the similarities end. Alina is special, she's the chosen one, better than everyone else in the world of the novels (or at least until Zoya comes in and ends up becoming the most specialest grisha to ever exist) because she is the only one with the power to destroy the Fold. When Alina learns that the Darkling is 'evil', she runs away to try and stop him, making the active decision to being a saviour of the people.

Katniss on the other hand is just some random girl. She isn't special, she wasn't chosen as a child and raised for the purpose of overthrowing the capitol, she doesn't have magic powers, Katniss is nothing. End of story. If it wasn't Katniss, then it could have been any other 17 year old girl. Katniss is not necessary for the destruction of elite upper class of The Hunger Games. That would have happened regardless. They could have created any other martyr the same way they created Katniss post the 74th Hunger Games. Alina has been powerless all her life, so she chooses to become a saviour, Katniss has been powerless all her life and she just wants to be left alone.

Which is why it makes no sense for them to have the same character arcs. When Katniss settles down with Peeta in the ruins of District 12 and helps rebuild, eventually learning and falling in love with who Peeta is outside of regime where they must be on constant guard because survival is not guaranteed, it is a realistic ending. One that shows us that hope exists among darkness. That our past does not have to define our future. That surviving and choosing to live despite the darkness of our pasts is also a method of rebellion. It's almost hopepunk in a way which makes sense considering the majority consensus among current THG readers that Katniss was most likely native coded - specifically of the Melungeon people of Appalachia on her father’s side. Katniss has always dreamt of a peaceful life where she does not have to worry about her family being drafted for the hunger games and now she gets it despite the pyrrhic sense of their victory. It's a moment to be celebrated but also a moment to reflect on what it took to get here, all that was sacrificed.

When Alina settles down with Mal at the end of the story to become a farmer's wife, she is giving up on her dream. Being a farmer has always been Mal's dream, Mal's vision of their future. It makes no sense for Alina to want it too, a character who up till this moment has shown no signs of wanting domesticity. When Alina loses her powers, it's supposed to be a tragedy. Alina has had nothing, her entire life has revolved around Mal ever since that orphanage. Her grishaness was the only thing that she ever had for herself, the one thing she had say over, not Mal. Alina's ending honestly reminds me of how so many woman with bright futures give up their hobbies and careers when they the world's most beigest man (why yes that was an interview with the vampire reference) just because their husbands don't like it when they aren't there to serve 24/7.

But this the part that gets me the most: The children.

Alina retires to Keramzin with Mal and rebuilds the Orphanage. Which would have been fine, if a boring ending for such an interesting character, except not once has she shown any inkling of wanting to do this throughout the series. In Siege and Storm, we see Alina grow more ambitious, wanting to lead the second army and growing more and more powerful. What happened to this girl? Why did she suddenly decide to give it all up and become a glorified housewife? Alina's ending does not have any of the nuance that Katniss had. Alina has never shown any feeling remotely close to wanting to run the orphanage. By returning at the end of Ruin and Rising, she's just recreating her childhood, Mal deciding what they do and her simply following along. Alina is stuck in this endless cycle of being dragged around and defined by a man and no matter what she does, she cannot escape.

However in The Hunger Games, we are shown throughout the series how much Katniss desires children, desires that domestic life. It is repeatedly drilled into the reader that the only reason Katniss has chosen not to have children is because she refuses to let another child live to grow up fearing their own death in the Arena. She does not want her children to live the same life she has lived. With the threat of the Hunger Games and the Capitol gone, there is nothing stopping her from having children. Katniss shows us through her actions how much she loves kids, first with Prim who you might be able explain away with a familial bond and then with Rue. Hell, she even cares for the other kids her own age in the arena, who she understands are only acting the way they are due to their desperate desire to survive. Katniss feels terrible whenever she has to kill. She does not desire power, she has no ambition except to live. Katniss pretends to be that 'tough guy' YA heroine stereotype to hide how fucking scared she is. Katniss is a teenage girl forced to be the face of a revolution and she wants nothing more than to resign.

A common critique of Katniss' ending that I've heard is that she doesn't mention the names of her children in the epilogue. I think this is very deliberate. The Hunger Games is very meta as a book. Suzanne's entire intention when writing it was to make her audience realise that the moment they picked up a book where children are forced to fight to the death for entertainment (because let's be real, who would have thought this series to have turned out to be what it is based on the blurb from the first book) we became the members of the Capitol. By committing the crime of reading Katniss story looking to be entertained, we have doomed ourselves. And I believe Katniss herself knows this to an extent. So, when Katniss doesn't mention the names of her children, I think its not because she doesn't cares for them, but its because she refuses to let us know. It's bit of a fuck you to the audience. A little bit of a, "You've had everything of me. I will not let you have this." moment for her.

So why is it that Katniss is the one who is considered to be written ooc (out of character) while Alina is relegated to the role of girlboss and 'feminism means respecting a women's ability to choose for herself teehee'? My personal belief is that it has a lot to do with modern day opinions on women's rights and the rise of the romanticised cottagecore/tradwife aesthetic in a post-pandemic world (GASP! It was the phones all along??!!!) and the absense of any critical thinking being employed while reading with the advent of booktok and the depoliticization of reading. BUT ☝️that is a post for another day because I am not paid enough (or like, at all) to write these.

Anyway, i digress that is all just my opinion - which is of course coloured a lot through my opinions on Leigh Bardugo herself, so take it with a pinch of salt. Everyone is free to believe what they want to (we are a free-ish world after all) and that might mean believing everything I have written is (pardon my French) a load of bullshit. No offense taken, I too often believe that what I have written is a pile of bullshit. But I truly do believe in this and I hope you do too.

Signing out!

Your Local YA Reader