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some-kindofgnome · 4 years

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Kinktober #9: Elevator Pitch: Hawks

In which you and Hawks spend some quality time together, and you’ve spilled coffee on your shirt.

Characters: Takami Keigo (Hawks) / f!Reader

Warnings: smut (18+ please!), vaginal sex, up-against-the-wall-sex, partially-dressed, semi-public, uncaffienated sex, stranded/stalled elevator, hawks is a smarmy piece of shit

Notes: Okay, enough feelings! Only porn. What better way to jump back on the thirsty bandwagon than with everyone’s favourite smug bastard? Today’s prompt was ‘In Public,’ and while this isn’t the most public of public places to have sex, it’s definitely one that I’ve been thinking about... a little too often.

Kinktober Masterlist

“What was that?”

The elevator gives a sickening clash and lurches to a stop. You look up so fast you can feel the strain in your throat, glancing suddenly back to the control panel to see if it can possibly offer you any more information.

The lights die over your head, plunging the elevator into darkness. You give a little scream.

“That’s not good.”

The voice next to you is familiar but grating. Of all the people to be stuck in an elevator with, it has to be Hawks.

He runs the agency two floors above your office. But your companies share many of the same amenities- these elevators, to name one- and you’re unfortunately all too familiar with the self-serving hero.

As if things aren’t bad enough already.

Your manic Monday is already off to an excellent start, proven by the coffee stain on the front of your blouse. Apparently, the morning train was just a little too crowded to be careless with your latte-the half that didn’t get sloshed all over your front ended up on the floor- so here you are, trapped in the dark with the dull edges of a caffeine headache already beginning.

“Hang on-“ It’s Hawks again, and before he finishes his thought the emergency lights flicker to life. He seems entirely too relaxed given the situation. It’s pissing you off. He’s leaning against the opposite corner of the elevator with his wings tucked neatly behind him, arms folded across his chest.

He looks you up and down.

“Damn, you musta put on a few pounds if you’re heavy enough to short out the elevator.”

“Don’t even start,” you hiss. Your headache is getting worse. Spending nine floors with Takami Keigo was supposed to be bad enough already. You don’t have time for this.

“If anyone was going to be too heavy for the elevator, it’s you,” you snap back. You brush past him to the control panel and he starts a little as you push yourself between it and him. His wings give an alarmed little flutter and he steps aside, opening the space between you again.

You’re jamming your thumb against the ‘call’ button, but nothing seems to be happening. You’re not altogether sure how this is supposed to work- you’ve never been stuck in an elevator before. But Hawks looks as though it’s happened to him on a weekly basis. You suppose he sees worse on the daily, given his line of work.

“I don’t think anyone’s comin’ for us, kid.”

You glare over your shoulder at him, hearing the smirk in his voice. He raises a gloved palm to his mouth and yawns. Then he stretches, and his wings follow suit. He can’t extend them fully in here, but you’ve still forgotten how big they really are.

“Might as well get cozy,” he sighs. He slides down the wall, stretching a leg out and hooking his elbow over the other knee, bent.

“No thanks, I’ll stand.” You toy idly with the front of your skirt, brushing an invisible coat of dust from it. It’s when you notice him watching you that you stop and furrow your brow. He’s staring right at your chest. Not even trying to hide it.

You’re just about to say something when his eyes flick up to yours and his smirk, if possible, gets even lazier.

“Rough morning?”

You fold your arms over your chest, hyperaware of the coffee stain that you had conveniently forgotten about seconds before. That doesn’t change the fact that you’re permanently ticked off at him, though.

You decide that he’s not worth answering and avert your gaze. Sullen silence settles over the two of you for a moment. Finally, he chuckles, shaking his head.

“Let me ask you something,” he prompts.

“No thank you,” you answer.

“No, no, that’s exactly it. You don’t like me. I’m not an idiot, kid. But the thing is, I’ve been wrackin’ my brain, and I can’t think of one thing I ever did to deserve it.”

You swallow. Hard. Your cheeks are going hot. The truth is, you’re not entirely sure why you don’t like him.

You’d like to say it’s because he’s self-serving and arrogant. Because he saves people for the clout and not because he cares about their safety. He’s only ever been snarky and sarcastic to you, and you’re sure he treats his staff like garbage. He soaks up the celebrity status like a goddamned sponge.

You’d also like to say that you’ve followed his career so closely for the same reasons. You scour the Internet for stories about him and save newspaper clippings from your coworkers’ subscriptions, looking for evidence that your claims are true. You need to hear somebody else talk about his arrogance because it pisses you off to no end how obsessed with him you’ve become.

“I don’t… I like you,” you scoff. If you could press your back even further into the elevator wall, you could.

He laughs. Throws his head back and laughs and you want to disappear.

“You treat all your friends like that, kid? No wonder you look so sour all the time.”

That does it. You’ve had enough of Hawks, enough of this elevator and this damned headache. You’ve had enough of today.

“Alright, fine. You wanna know why I don’t like you?” Your eyes narrow. Your arms tighten across your chest. Hawks gets to his feet. He’s not all that much taller than you, but he seems to tower over you in the narrow space.

His tawny eyes narrow as he tilts his head, serious but inquisitive.

“Enlighten me.”

“You are the most egotistical, self-centered person I’ve ever known,” you hiss. “You treat women like they’re disposable, you-“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he stops you, holding up his palms. “Like they’re disposable? What in the hell gave you that idea?”

“You’ve got a different girl on your arm every week,” you retort. Later you will sink into your desk and expire as you remember saying these things to him, but he asked for it. And you’re starting to get claustrophobic.

“So what?” He shoots back.

“So what? So what? So what makes you think you can go around breaking hearts like that? You’re gonna make some enemies, y’know.”

“Sweetheart, those girls don’t want anything to do with me, either. No false pretenses there. I think you just don’t like seeing me with other women.”

Your stomach lurches, rejecting the idea. But you know that it’s true.

“Don’t be ridicu-“

“No, it’s my turn to speak now,” Hawks growls. He steps closer, caging you against the elevator wall. Your cheeks and ears are burning. One step closer and the coffee on your blouse will start to boil all over again.

“If you’re jealous,” he hints, bending down to whisper in your ear, “I’d be happy to treat you like those other girls, kid. All you gotta do is ask.”

“Hawks-“ you choke. He’s so close now that there’s no way you can pretend you don’t want this. You can feel the heat of his body radiating against yours, the soft, spicy Monday morning scent of him filling your senses.

He grins, and his lips brush the crook of your neck.

“That’s what I thought.”

In the next second his mouth crashes down on yours and you’re kissing him back. You from ten minutes ago would be disgusted at the sight of this, but you can’t even deny wanting this. Not when he’s giving it to you. Not when you didn’t even need to ask for it.

You’re not shy about combing your fingers into his disheveled hair, tugging him closer to you. Already he’s tugging the hem of your blouse out of the top of your skirt. He rips off his gloves and pops open a few of the buttons without even breaking his mouth from yours. It’s only as he digs his fingers into the fabric and pulls the folds open around your chest that he pulls back to have a look.

“Look at you,” he growls. “So fuckin’ gorgeous. I wanted you from the second I met you, y’know that?”

You consider pinching yourself. But you don’t want to give him the satisfaction. Instead, you hook a palm around the back of his neck and pull him harshly down to you again.

“Shut up,” you hiss, dragging his mouth back to yours. Your hands wander, pulling the strap of his belt out of its loop and giving it a harsh tug. It pulls tight and he grunts, then you let go and let the buckle fall open. You reach in further, going for his fly. He lets you. As you dig your hand into the opening of his pants you realize that he’s already hard- already rock hard.

Maybe he really meant what he said.

You shove his pants down around his knees and he grabs you by the backs of yours, hiking your thighs over his hips. His hands crawl up your thighs and under your skirt. He finds the strap of your thong and you nuzzle into his shoulder to keep yourself quiet as he swipes a thumb up your clothed slit.

“Fuck,” he groans in your ear. “Soaked for me already, sweetness. God, lemme have you.”

He shifts his hips forward and presses the head of his cock against your entrance, easing forward until he’s sure he’s lined up correctly. Then he rams into you without warning and you nearly wind yourself on his shoulder as all the air from your body rushes out at once.

“That’s what I thought, baby,” he growls, starting into a brutal rhythm. “You’ve wanted this too, haven’t you? Fuck, why didn’t you say something? I coulda been fucking you this whole time.”

You’re in the clouds at this point. The words he’s growling into your ear are blurring together, clouded by the immense pleasure that he’s sending through your gut with every thrust. He fits you perfectly, it seems, and you’re already drawing embarrassingly close to the edge.

“Hawks,” you practically sob, your head lolling against the wall as he fucks you into it. “Can’t hold on- gonna… g-gonna..”

“You’re gonna cum for me, sweetness? That’s it. That’s it. Cum for me, sweetheart, aw, hell, I’m there, baby.”

His voice is growing shaky now, his thrusts erratic, and as the elastic band draws tight in the pit of your stomach you realize he’s not far off, either.

He gives you one, two, three good thrusts and you’re falling, coming so hard around him that your vision whites out for an honest minute. Currents of tension rush from your head to your toes as you clutch at his back and whine and pant through your climax.

He follows close behind you, driving his hips into your sensitive pussy before drawing abruptly out of you and coming in long spurts against the inside of your thigh.

For a dozen heartbeats, the two of you are still, catching your breath. Settling into what you’ve just done.

The emergency light flickers as the regular lighting returns. The elevator gives a telltale beep and a shudder and starts heading downward. Your brain short-circuits.

“Get off,” you hiss, shoving him off you. You tug your skirt harshly down around your thighs, hiding the mess as he hurries to tuck himself back into his pants and zip up. You’re two floors from the lobby when he turns back to you and starts.

“Your shirt.”

“Oh, shit.” Your fingers race to the buttons on your blouse and you fumble to get them fastened again. He reaches over to help but you bat his hands away as the elevator draws to a stop. You’re just finishing the last button when the doors slide open, revealing the surprised faces of a coverall-sporting technician and your boss.

“There you are,” she gasps, relief flooding her features. “The power went out and they told me people were still stuck in the elevator, I- good morning, Keigo,” she greets, giving a little nod of acknowledgement to Hawks, who’s taking his time strolling out of the elevator with his hands in his pockets.

“Mornin’,” he greets idly. Then he calls your name, and you look past your boss’s shoulder. He’s smirking, his eyes lit with the memory of what you’ve just shared.

“See you around,” he calls. Then he’s gone, and your boss is asking you some sort of question, but it flies straight in one ear and out the other. Your teeth sink into your lower lip. Every time you close your eyes you remember him, groaning in your ear and forcing himself into you.

You are so fucked.

#hawks x reader #takami keigo x reader #hawks/reader #hawks/you #boku no hero academia #mha fanfic #kinktober #jbbKinktober2020 #my hero acadamia #bnha fanfic #hawks #takami keigo

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cornerstorebitch · 3 years

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"i don't think anybody else should ever have the right to dictate your personal medical choices, for one. and there really are no other examples where this happens, even in life or death situations." abortion lol. euthanasia. if hospital loses signed dnr but has it charted they may still resuscitate knowing it goes against patient's will. inmates and psych patients have abnormally limited choices and will inevitably be lied to by doctors (and in both cases the patient may not hve internet access w which to do their own research). what is and isn't covered by insurance really pushes people to make certain choices too. (i'm thinking about in puerto rico when the usa was like 'oh these people should stop having babies' and instead of handing out condoms they subsidized female sterilization -- which is major abdominal surgery and 100x more dangerous than a vasectomy. going back another couple decades, tuskegee where they pretended not to know the cure for syphilis

idk how to say this in a sensitive way but also sometimes people are very poorly educated to the point where even if they're smart they don't have the knowledge base to do their own research. (i've heard doctors mocking a patient who got pregnant on the pill bc she didn't swallow it but instead inserted it. it makes sense in a way and clearly they didn't tell her how it's done.)

I don't really have a point, sorry. it seems bodily autonomy would be a basic human right implicit under right to liberty but this country has never thought so. (it avoided the blatant logical error by saying black people and women are sort of half humans so the rights are partial, which in the case of women has never been officially rectified.) what might be unprecedented about vaccine mandate is that it affects most classes though. but haven't we been on the slippery slope?

firstly, all the examples you explicitly listed are all things which are blatantly examples of civil rights violations or medical negligence. it's wrong for somebody's medical options to be limited by circumstances which do not affect their health. it's wrong to forcibly sterilize people, or to resuscitate them against their will. i understand that you're just pointing out that these things already happen... but so what? that doesn't make it moral, and if there's a legal precedent to be cited here (which there is, but thats a different lengthy paragraph) it isn't among those events.

secondly, abortion is the perfect example of exactly the situation i was describing, ie, being forced to receive medical intervention against your will. there is absolutely no circumstance that justifies forcing a woman to have an abortion against her will. there is no law that can force her, short of being declared legally incompetent. i would be very surprised to find that there was anybody trying to argue otherwise, politically or on tumblr. and that applies even if the fetus will certainly die, and giving birth will certainly kill the woman. the same can be said of euthanasia: outside of executions carried out by the state, i cannot imagine anybody ever arguing that there is a circumstance where somebody should be euthanized against their will.

i'll also say that the idea that some people just aren't smart enough to know what's good for them is entirely antithetical to democracy. it's people's right to make stupid choices and do things that are bad for them, because to operate under any other assumption allows for anybody to become somebody who just isn't smart enough to know whats good for them. doctors and lawyers are generally right. people who are educated on specific topics generally know what they are talking about. but i personally am thankful to live in a world where my doctor can't just decide they know whats best for me.

i guess in conclusion this is really an ethical debate that has very little to do with vaccine mandates in substance, just because there are not really any other examples of vaccine mandates in this fashion. but vaccines or abortions or DNRs, i don't believe anybody has or should have the right to decide what is to be done on and with your body without your consent, even when it's solely detrimental to an individuals health. there's more nuance with vaccine mandates than just that statement when it comes to school and work, but i don't think abandoning that basic principle helps anyone. and i think people need to get more comfortable defending the words and actions of people they don't necessarily agree with when those people are being wronged.

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spaceorphan18 · 4 years

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I'm new to fandom - what are the better boyfriend olympics? I've heard that phrase being used a lot to talk about Klaine but I'm not really sure what's going on.

Hi Nonny! Welcome to fandom :) Pull up a chair as I give you a history of the BBO and how it started. I actually think it’s kind of fascinating now that I’m not living through it, lol.

Okay, so let’s go back to 2010 when there wasn’t a Klaine fandom, there was a Kurt fandom. A lot of the BBO stemmed out of the Kurt’s Boyfriend Shipping wars of 2010.

Back then, there was just a Kurt fandom, and a lot of opinions about who he should date. Believe it or not, Kurt was shipped a lot with the other guys on the show, there was a healthy dose of Kurt/Finn, but Kurt/Puck was huge, and there was a smattering of Kurt/Mike (I never really did see much Kurt/Artie now that I think of it, which is kind of funny in retrospect, but I’m sure it’s out there.) Anyway - when the show announced Kurt was getting a boyfriend -- well, things began to get heated up.

Three big ships emerged

Kurt/Sam - because the rumor was that Sam was originally supposed to be Kurt’s bf (probably not, but that rumor was big at the time). Btw, they were the canoe ship (I have no idea why) and was also known as Kum (rolls-eyes). This ship’s fanbase was so huge and lasted so long, that the show felt the need to address it head on in Season Two’s Rumours (not a joke).

Kurt/Karofsky - Also known as Kurtofsky, they were also called themselves the Pirate ship (god, Idk why, shipping wars are weird, yo). These people were also really passionate, mostly about Dave, but liked the whole idea that Kurt would save Dave and they would have this weird - enemies to loves love affair or something. I don’t know, I could never get past the squicky assault aspect, but whatever.

Kurt/Blaine - which. at the time, was... the biggest possibility? It’s funny cause the other two ships were just as big as the Klaine ship, and really the fighting became over who was going to be the best option for Kurt.

And that’s the thing. Fans of Kurt were so passionate about who was best for Kurt, because everyone had seen him go through hell and back on the show, so his boyfriend needed to be perfect for him. And you know who was perfect (at first) -- Blaine. More on that in a second...

However, Blaine brought his own bit of baggage -- namely fans of Darren Criss (and/or Starkid fans). Unlike Chord Overstreet or Max Adler, people knew who Darren was before he was on Glee. So his own fandom joined in on the Klaine of it all. At first it was all fine -- as the shipping wars continued, it was less about Kurt vs Blaine and more about Klaine vs the other shippers. Well, that was going to change....

Original Song happened and Kurt and Blaine got together ending the question of who would ultimately be Kurt’s boyfriend. And things were nice and cozy headed into season 3. You’d think the Kurt/Sam and Kurt/Karofsky ships would die out, but not really, they stuck around for a long time, and kinda morphed into something else.

See, The First Time happened. And for the first time Blaine wasn’t the perfect prince that he was in season 2 -- he had more of a developed personality, and more flaws. And... some people didn’t like it. (Also added to the mix was Sebastian -- and the Seblaine and Kurtbastian ships were born, but those kinda go off on their own thing and I’m not really going to bring them up much here.) Anyway, what really got fandom split was Dance With Somebody.

You had two sides of an argument, people who saw Kurt’s POV and people who saw Blaine’s POV -- and guess what happened. The two sides began to fight with each other over who was “right” in the argument. (My god...) And thus started what fandom started referring to as The Better Boyfriend Olympics.

See - for reasons I don’t fully understand - instead of seeing that each of the boys have a fault and each were wrong in the episode, each side wanted to say that their side, and their POV was the correct way -- that one boyfriend was more oppressed and the other was not as good a partner.

On the Kurt side, though, you had a lot of the old Kurt fans and ships who didn’t like Blaine (and/or didn’t want Blaine as his partner) so they vehemently decided that unless Blaine was the perfect boyfriend again, he didn’t deserve to be with Kurt. Meanwhile, you had the Blaine fans, many of them Darren fans who wanted Blaine to have more depth to him than just being Kurt’s boyfriend, and not being Kurt fans first (or originally) they were going to push back at the Kurt fans who were lashing out at Blaine.

Compounding this was the fact that during season 3, there were so many cast members and characters that unless you were Finchel, you were begging for scraps and your featured episode to come along. Meanwhile - Kurt got a ton of screen time, but didn’t sing much, while Blaine sang a lot more, but didn’t get much story. The Kurt fans resented that Blaine was always singing. The Blaine fans were annoyed that the Kurt fans resented it, and tried to remind the Kurt fans that Blaine barely got any development.

Either way, a war had begun. And then The Break Up happened.

Now Kurt fans had a specific reason to point at -- Blaine being a terrible boyfriend. He cheated. He’s terrible. The end.

The fandom was not firmly split into sides - you were either a Kurt fan - a lot of them who HATED Blaine - partly because he was getting more attention at the time, partly cause he did sing more, partly because they were made up of Kurt ships that didn’t work out, and partly cause they saw so much of themselves in Kurt that they projected onto him their own feelings, and loving Blaine was not a part of that projection. Or you were a Blaine fan - who spent a lot of time defending Blaine to the point of exhaustion, and became so resentful of Kurt that they wished Blaine could be with anyone else because Kurt (fans) didn’t understand Blaine and should just stop trying.

Weren’t there any Klainers you ask? Ha, well.... Klainers, people actually liked Kurt AND Blaine were stereotyped into two categories. Category A) the really really loud fanbase (usually on Twitter) that harassed the creators, RM, Chris, Darren, various crew about Klaine every second that they got -- to the point that it started to feel embarrassing (that’s probably my own projection). Category B) People who thought (think) that Chris and Darren were (are) in a secret relationship. (Spoiler alert they aren’t, never have been, and never will be.) The two of these categories overlapped A LOT, and many of the fans of one boy or the other just disassociated completely.

You could still be a fan of the Klaine relationship, but you had a preference to which boy you were actually a fan of -- you couldn’t like both, or else you were a Klainer, and that was not cool. (I spent a long time NOT identifying as anything, and trying to make sure everything I did and said was equal -- a) cause I was new to fandom and b) cause I hated that either one or the other of these characters were villainized so frequently.)

Anyway - Season 4 continued. Adam showed up, and Kurt fans got all excited, but the problem was that a lot of them saw him as the perfect boyfriend again -- not a real character but a prop that could make Kurt look good and be everything for Kurt. Look, I liked Adam, I did, but he was underdeveloped, and this weird idea that your boyfriend needs to be perfect in order to be a functioning relationship is just unrealistic. I digress. Meanwhile, we didn’t get a lot of Kurt POV, which didn’t help things, and meant even more projection over his character.

Meanwhile, the Blaine fans had formed their own community, which became viciously defensive of him. I think the whole fandom was toxic during this time for a lot of reasons, and I really wanted to quit it. Many people did -- the show wasn’t being fun anymore.

Season 5 came along, the boys got back together, tempers simmered, but the whole idea of the Better Boyfriend Olympics came back every time a conflict happened. Arguments about who was the better boyfriend ensued, gatekeeping as to why their pick was best and why your opinion sucked still ran through the fandom. Not helping was the fact that Cory had died, and the creators, actors, and crew -- as well as media -- was tired of Glee.

The one nice thing, though was that a lot of the old crowd had moved on by then, and there was an influx of newer people coming in during season 5 (and season 6) -- they weren’t here for the season 3 droughts and season 4 wars, and brought in a newer and fresher perspective.

But still - we had the end of season 5 and the summer of spoilers and season 6 to get through. At this point, the Kurt and Blaine camps had moved to their parts of the internet and really not speaking much to each other if they could help it. When an argument happened on the show, the same kind of Better Boyfriend Olympics came up again -- one boyfriend was worse than the other, and unless they changed xyz they were not good enough for the other. But at this point, it was incredibly tiring. I know that I was just ready for the show to be done with.

I should say, as an aside, not helping things were the rise of some rather vocal BNF-ish fans, who dug their heels in about their own opinions. The refusal to even acknowledge that one side or the other might be right, or have valid points was not helping anything. A lot of people on both sides refused to even listen to the points on the other side -- and instead of being frustrated at the show, the creators, or whatever, they took it against each other, which wasn’t fun to watch either.

Season 6 happened - Blainofsky happened, and that killed enthusiasm for the season on both sides, most people just kind of wanted it to be over. And then the ending came quickly, and I think a lot of people who were just plain unhappy about everything left for good.

The Better Boyfriend Olympics, or this weird competition that always pitted the boys and their fandoms against each other in the name of one being better than the other, leveled off after this. I won’t give myself /that/ much credit - but one reason I created @todaydreambelievers was to give fans of both Kurt and Blaine a safe place where we could enjoy and discuss both boys without the BBO rearing its head. And you know what -- it did mend a few hearts.

For the most part, it’s been pretty quiet since. Fandom is quieter, but I think the people who have come into it after the show has ended are a lot less judgmental and argumentative. (I suppose it helps if you know how the story is going to end.) And the cool thing, for me, is finding a group of people who enjoy Kurt and Blaine equally (or respectfully) -- and reclaiming the name Klainer as a good thing.

I’ll end by saying this -- it’s been relatively peaceful, even with the influx of new people throughout the years, but I have been seeing shades of BBO pop up again. Look, you don’t have to like Klaine to be a fan of one or the other of them. But there are a lot of terrible things going on in the world, a lot of things to be angry and get indignant about. How a fictional couple was written ten years ago is not one of them. Be respectful of people, and know that maybe the side you understand better isn’t the only side worth listening to. ;)

#that's how s.o. sees it #klaine history #glee history #Anonymous

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brynfelan · 4 years

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...hello I'm back to creep in and give angst

So I HAVEN'T finished SDR2 yet, watching it with a friend and we haven't had time to meet up and watch it together recently. I know stuff I haven't qatched because I'm nosey and the internet is a thing, but one thing I don't know much about is what happened with the Reserve Course to help kickstart the Tragedy.

So let's focus on that! With Izuru being Hajime's twin again, I'm attached to this idea, and KuzuPekoHina. I'm shipping trash, what can I say.

Class 77 are meeting up for lunch, Natsumi and Sato have joined them, but Hajime stayed in the Reserve Course building. Big test coming up, he's gotta study. Fuyuhiko, Peko, and Izuru are sad they won't get to see the ahoge boy, but Natsumi said Hajime promised to eat lunch, and those three calm down slightly. Fuyuhiko leans on Peko and Izuru huffs but goes back to eating.

They're slightly clingy when it comes to Hajime, what can ya do.

So they're all eating and socialising, being normal-ish teenagers, yada yada, when SHIT GOES DOWN in the Reserve Course building (I think i read something about a bomb somewhere? Idk I'm not sure of canon events here). If canon doesn't work, then something else that's just as despair-inducing happens.

It's big, it's bad, and holy shit Hajime's still in there what the fuck what do they do he's gotta be okay, right?

Hajime escapes, because he's not dying in any of my scenarios, but he's in really rough shape. Let's leave exactly how rough and what exactly happened open to interpretation.

oh fuck like

this is so good

also i’m ignoring canon all my homies hate canon

they’re all sitting eating lunch together when the explosion happens. it shakes the ground, like an earthquake and people are rushing around trying to get to safety. most of the class first think about their own safety, because of course, they’re not bad people but they do want to live.

but peko, fuyuhiko and izuru both immediately think of hajime, who’s still in there. nobody knows what the fuck is going on, but those three are on their feet immediately to run to the reserve course building. natsumi tries to stop fuyuhiko for a second like “dude, you might die” and he’s just like “I’ll be fine, but hajime’s in there” and she understands but she’s not happy about it. still, she can’t exactly fight fuyuhiko at the moment, so off they go absolutely sprinting over there.

people try and stop them from getting in, since nobody knows how safe it is, but there’s no way you can fight both peko and izuru and come out on top so they manage to force their way closer, but they leave fuyuhiko outside because they need somebody healthy, and both izuru and peko might get hurt inthere.

it’s absolute carnage inside, there’s students alive and fighting their way out of there, but as they gets closer to where it happened, there’s bodies (and even worse, bits of bodies everywhere). there’s also some pretty hefty smoke, they they have to cover their noses to not inhale as much. they manage to make his way to the library, which is a wreck. it’s not where the explosion happened, but the shelves have been knocked over and there’s books everywhere.

and there’s hajime, cowering in a mess of books behind a toppled shelf. he’s crying, his leg’s been trapped underneath one and izuru is pretty sure it’s broken. he’s concussed, and he can’t move because of the shock.

izuru manages to get the shelf off of him, and peko has to be incredibly careful when carrying him. izuru’s out in front, moving debris out of the way to make it easier. and even though hajime is freaking the fuck out, peko is staying as calm as she can, telling him to close his eyes and think of something nice so that he doesn’t have to look at everything. she can’t cover her own mouth and nose anybody, so she’s got the bottom half of her face in her shirt and has made hajime cover his own mouth and nose.

when they get out, fuyuhiko is a wreck. he’s pissed off, but most importantly when he sees hajime he just fuckin... cries. man, he cries so hard. fuyuhiko Doesn’t Cry For Anything, except hajime hinata’s broken leg and weak breathing and he’s so freaked out that he has to lean against izuru to not have his legs give out underneath him.

the kuzuryu family pay for hajime’s medical bills. they get him into the fanciest and most reliable hospital they know of. he needs to be on oxygen for a while because of the smoke, and his leg is broken really badly. but overall, he’s okay. he’s going to be okay.

peko, fuyuhiko, and izuru spend all the time they can at a hospital. at least one of them is always there until hajime recovers.

#brainrot #drabble #multi-fandom-trashbin

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peachmemes · 4 years

Text

TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS MEME : LOVER ( 2019 ).

part five ( one, two, three, four, six ) / change pronouns as desired !

𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐃.

we were crazy to think that this could work.

remember how i said i’d die for you ?

we were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us.

remember how i’d fly to you ?

i can’t talk to you when you’re like this.

i still do it for you.

they all warned us about times like this.

they say the road gets rough and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith.

we might just get away with it.

religion’s in your lips, even if it’s a false god.

the altar is my hips, even if it’s a false god.

we’d still worship this love.

i know heaven’s a thing, i go there when you touch me.

hell is when i fight with you but we can patch it up good.

we’re begging for forgiveness.

you can’t talk to me when i’m like this.

daring you to leave me.

i can try and scare you.

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐌 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍.

you are somebody that i don’t know.

you’re taking shots at me like it’s patron.

i’m just like ‘ damn ! ’

it’s 7 am.

say it in the street, that’s a knock out.

say it in a tweet, that’s a cop out.

i’m just like ‘ hey ! ’

are you okay ?

i ain’t tryna mess with your self expression.

i’ve learned the lesson that stressing and obsessing ‘bout somebody else is no fun.

snakes and stones never broke my bones.

you need to calm down.

you’re being too loud.

you need to just stop.

can you just not step on my gown ?

you are somebody that we don’t know.

you’re coming at my friends like a missle.

why are you mad when you could be glad ?

you would rather be in the dark ages.

you just need to take several seats.

try to restore the peace.

control all your urges to scream about the people you hate.

shade never made anybody less gay.

we see you over there on the internet.

we figured you out.

we all know now.

we all got crowns.

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐖.

i blew things out of proportion.

i pinned your hands behind your back.

thought i had reason to attack, but no.

fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves.

why’d i have to break what i love so much ?

it’s on your face.

i’m to blame.

i’m the one who burned us down.

it’s not what i meant.

sorry that i hurt you.

i don’t wanna do this to you.

i don’t wanna lose this with you.

just don’t go.

meet me in the afterglow.

it’s so excruciating to see you low.

just wanna lift you up and not let you go.

this love is worth the fight.

i lived like an island; punished you with silence.

don’t walk away.

tell me that you’re still mine.

tell me that we’ll be just fine.

tell me that it’s not my fault.

tell me that i’m all you want.

#rp meme #ask meme #inbox meme #rp ask meme #sentence starters #* type : sentence starters.#* topic : music / lyrics.#* subtopic : taylor swift.#*

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princesstreaclefanfic · 4 years

Text

We Meet Again Chapter Six

Disclaimer - All recognisable characters belong to their original owners. I do not make a profit from writing this; I simply do it for my own amusement. No copyright infringement intended.

Splash of Colour

Luke watched as Penelope looked around the plane. He could see she wasn't a fan of the neutral colours. She expressed this and JJ got straight in her good books.

"What, you mean I'm the splash of colour… stop it." She made hand motions for JJ to continue. Luke smiled and chuckled. It was a good metaphor for his life with her in it. Before she came along, his life was boring and neutral and plain. And then she came in with her bright clothes and bold jewellery and amazing personality and he was swept away. She added colour to his otherwise quiet life. And he couldn't complain about that.

***

Penelope stood on the side of the road and watched as JJ spoke with the police officers at the scene. She couldn't understand why someone would do this, purposefully injure innocents? And in such a volatile way. Penelope was only too familiar with the damage that a car could do to a person's body and she hated the thought that these people were suffering.

Seeing her standing there, Luke wandered over and offered his hand to her.

She wasn't going to take it, honestly. Then the corners of her mouth quirked up and those dimples got her again.

She placed her smaller hand in his and tried to ignore the heat coming from his body.

Delicately, she stepped onto the road, aware that she probably should have worn heels that weren't as high. She didn't want to give him the wrong impression so once she was stable she shook his hand off, grimacing at him. Luke took it all in good humour though. He jokingly wiped his hands on his jeans as if he had touched something on her that he didn't want to. It was kind of funny seeing as only a few weeks ago he'd had his mouth on her pussy.

She kept her grimace on her face until she turned away but she couldn't hide the smile that spread across it when he wasn't looking.

***

Luke and Penelope were in the precinct, trying to work out what the unsub's next step was.

"There has to be some kind of connection between the unsub and Veronica Perotta. I mean, he targeted her outside her own home." Luke stepped closed to Penelope. "He had to have some knowledge of her daily routines. This-this was personal." This was the worst attack he had perpetrated. To have a woman run over in front of her own home whilst she unloaded her grocery shopping - it was diabolical. They needed to catch this guy before he hurt anyone else.

"I'm looking through Veronica's social media now," Penelope told him. Her fingers whizzed over the keys. "She was single, she had recently joined something called Amorous Intrigue."

"The dating website." The only reason Luke knew about it was because his friend had tried to set him a profile up. He wasn't interested though. He hadn't been interested in dating since he had spent the night with Penelope.

"Oh, is that what is it? Maybe I should join it, not that I'd want to join anything you know about… or I need a dating website… cause I don't." He was positive she didn't need a dating website.

As they delved into the website they learnt that Veronica had been pinged several times by a man called Jonathan Rhodes. He had contacted quite a few women and all of them had rejected him. That would have made things much worse.

"Here's somebody - Alyssa Miles." Penelope pulled up a picture. "Totally his type." Brown hair, brown eyes and slim build. She fit the victim profile. He could hear Penelope's breath speed up and she began to talk faster.

Luke knew. He just knew in his gut. "That's his next target. Can you pull up an address?" Silly question, he knew she could.

"Yep. Just sent it to your phone."

"Alright, grab your laptop hotshot, let's go." He turned away from her and headed out of the room. He needed to get his bulletproof vest and find Penelope one too.

"I don't go with… I do go with!" she shouted. "I'm precious cargo!" Even though he could hear the fear and hesitation in her voice, she still did as he asked.

Her words echoed through his head - she was definitely precious cargo to him.

***

Outside Alyssa Miles house, Penelope had to swallow her fear as she set her laptop up on the white car and began to furiously type.

Luke wasn't helping matters. "Stop staring at me when I'm searching engining, it's weird." The truth was his stare made her nervous and she needed all her nerves intact if she were to stop this maniac. Feeling his eyes on her made her heart beat faster and her palms sweat.

"Sorry," he apologised as she typed faster and faster.

"She managed to keep ahold of her phone - can you do something with that?"

Penelope turned to him and felt a sliver of relief and hope. Yes, she most certainly could.

"That's helpful, you're helpful sometimes." Luke might have just saved Alyssa Miles' life.

***

Luke was driving not as if his life depended on it but life someone else's life did - because it was true. He had to get to Alyssa Miles and he had to get to her now.

"I've got eyes on him up there, you see?" Luke told her, watching as the car swerved in and out of traffic. Damn those driving games - that is where he got his skills from. He was fearless and that was a terrifying thought.

"Do you have to be so lurchy? I get carsick," she told him. Once again, there was fear in her voice.

Luke reached across the small space and gently placed his hand on her arm.

As they followed the car, Penelope began to panic.

"He's just very good."

"He's not as good as you, okay?" For some reason, she couldn't see it, she couldn't see how amazing she was. Luke watched her day in and day out, the things she had to face and the places she had to go on the internet to find what they needed. As far as he was concerned (and yes, he may be slightly biased), she was the best of the best.

She shrieked about dying and Luke had to roll his eyes at her dramatics. He could handle a car.

"Nobody is going to die today!"

Penelope continued to type and he could feel the movement of her arm under his hand. Then she stopped.

"I'm in!" she shouted. Luke felt a small portion of relief flow through his body. This was half the battle won.

He watched as the car rolled to a stop in front of them, about two feet away from the wall. He jumped out of the SUV immediately, drew his gun and stalked towards the car.

"FBI! Show me your hands!" The guy didn't know what to do. He hauled him out of the car.

As he patted him down and cuffed him, he saw that Penelope had gotten out too. She had gone around to the driver's side and pulled the tape from her hands that the unsub had used to keep her at the wheel. Penelope wrapped her arms around the traumatised girl and comforted her.

Over her head, they shared a look. The case was done. It was solved.

***

Penelope's heart dropped out of her stomach as she and Luke shared a look before she rose to her feet immediately. As Reid was led from the courtroom she placed her hands on the partition separating them, trying to get as close as she could to him. She wanted to shout that it would all be alright, that'd they fix this mess, that'd the judge had got it wrong. But there were no words. None of them seemed strong enough or good enough.

Her heart broke as he disappeared through a door. A tear fell down her face and behind her, she heard Luke stand and then felt him place a hand on her shoulder.

Her breathing was ragged; this could not be happening.

As she felt herself falling apart, Luke's other hand came up and squeezed her arm. He was strong and brave and right now, his hands on her were quite literally keeping her together. If he took his hands from her she was sure she would fall apart.

Penelope didn't remember much after that but as she sat in the offices at the FBI as everyone went home, she couldn't move.

"Penelope?" Luke called, coming to stand in front of her. "Are you alright?"

She could lie and say yes but she wore her heart on her sleeve. "No." She shook her head.

Luke knelt at her feet and took her hands in his. "Listen to me. We are going to catch Scratch and this is all going to disappear. Reid is innocent - we all know that."

Tears formed in her eyes and her throat got tight.

"I can't promise that it's going to be easy because it's not but we are going to do everything in our power to help Reid."

She nodded because she knew that but right now it didn't feel like enough.

"Shall I walk you to your car?"

She shook her head again. "No. I don't want to go home. I don't want to be alone."

"You don't have to be alone, chica." Luke stood and brought her with him. "You drive to your apartment and I'll follow. We can have some tea and talk."

Penelope took her hands from his and swiped at her eyes. "What about Roxy?"

"She'll be fine for a few hours." She had food, water, plenty of toys and a doggy door so she could come and go as she pleased.

"Okay."

Together, they left the offices and went to the respective cars in the parking lot. Luke followed Penelope back to her apartment and when they got inside she made them some herbal tea.

They sat on the couch together, Simon rubbing himself all over Penelope before going to Luke and investigating his trousers.

"I've known Reid for years… he'd never do something like this." Luke listened because that's all he could do. "He loves his mom and that's the only thing he's guilty of. How could anyone think he'd murder someone?" She held back tears of frustration. "He works for the FBI, he'd know how to cover his tracks if he wanted." She sighed. "He is one of the sweetest men I have ever met and he's being treated like some kind of criminal."

"It's a process - they have to treat him like any other suspect."

"But this is Reid - he isn't just anybody! He's boy genius, he's the man who had looked after his mother from a young age, he's the man who can tell you the most boring facts about shrimp, he's the man who has such a big brain inside his head but also a big heart to match!"

"Penelope - I know." Those words. Luke said them so softly and he was right. He did know. He'd only know Reid for a short time but he knew all these things were true. There wasn't anybody else like Spencer Reid on the planet.

Her eyes felt gritty and tired so she took her glasses off and rubbed them roughly before putting them back on. She let her head rest against the back of the sofa she was facing Luke and he did the same.

Her eyes traced over his face and with a slight amount of hesitation, Penelope leaned forward and placed her lips on his.

When she pulled away, Luke was looking at her. He brought one hand up to her face and stroked her cheek. Then, he leaned in and kissed her again.

The passion that overcame Penelope at that moment was instant. She pushed Luke back against the couch quite aggressively and kissed his neck, sucking on the tan skin.

"Penelope… stop." Luke's voice shocked her and she sat back.

"You don't want me," her words were quiet and there was hurt in her voice.

Luke gave a humourless chuckle. "I want you all the time, chica." As if to prove his point, Luke brought her palm to his jeans where there was an obvious bulge.

Before she could do anything he pulled her hand away and helped her to stand.

"I want you but not like this - not on the tail end of all this sadness." His hands cradled her face. "So I'm going to put you to bed and then I'm going to go back to my house and I'll see you at work in the morning."

Penelope was silent as Luke took her hand and led her through her small apartment to her bedroom. He stopped her when she stood next to her and slowly turned her around.

With a smile on his face, he began to undress her. It wasn't sensual, it wasn't erotic… it was caring and tender.

He slowly pulled her cardigan from her shoulders, folding it neatly and laying it on the chair in the corner of the room. Then he was back at her side, spinning her gently around to access the zipper at the back of her dress. He pulled it down until the dress fell from her body. He helped her step out of it and then brought his hands to her shoulders. He slid the straps of her bra down her arms and moved his hands around her back to unclasp the bra. Luke did it with such ease but he never took his eyes from hers.

Penelope pulled the bra away from her chest and let it fall to the floor.

"Pyjamas?" Luke asked quietly.

"Behind you, top left-hand drawer." Her voice was just as quiet.

Luke gave her a small smile and turned. He opened the drawer and pulled out the first nightie he found. It was purple with cats dotted all over it. It was so her.

He returned to her and slipped the soft cotton material over her head, brushing her hair out from the neckline when it fell down her body.

"Turn," he requested quietly.

Penelope did and Luke unclasped the black necklace from around her neck, gently laying it on the vanity next to them. Then he began to take the pins out of her hair. He did it slowly, combing his fingers through her golden tresses as he went, making sure that it didn't tangle.

When he was done with that he placed a hand on her shoulder and spun her once more. Gently, he placed his hands on her shoulder and pushed her towards the bed. When she sat down on it, he crouched down and took her heels from her feet.

Taking a minute, he rubbed the soft skin of her feet, pressing his thumbs into her arches until she gave a small groan of satisfaction.

He stood up and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.

She slid back on the bed and tucked herself under the covers.

Luke pulled them up to her chin and stroked her cheek.

"Sweet dreams, chica."

Penelope watched as he turned his back and left, shutting the lights off as he went. She heard him whisper goodnight to Simon and then leave. She strained her eyes to hear his footsteps on the stairs and then his car engine start up.

By the time he pulled out of the parking lot, she was fast asleep. Her mind free from the sadness of the day.

#criminal minds #garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #fluff #canon couples #friendship #romance #smut #lemons

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docexe-mx · 4 years

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Hola, no sé si alguien ya te ha hecho esta pregunta, pero ¿por qué elegiste NaruHina sobre otros barcos? Como NaruSaku, ¿dónde es más explícito que Naruto está enamorado de Sakura y que ella comienza a devolver sentimientos, o SasuNaru, donde tienen un vínculo más grande y más establecido?

Translated to English:

Hello, I don’t know if somebody has already asked you this, but why did you choose NaruHina over other ships*? Like NaruSaku, where is more explicit that Naruto is in love with Sakura and that she is starting to return his feelings, or SasuNaru, where they have a bigger and more established bond?

Subsequent asks:

Do you believe that Naruto had a bond with Hinata? If so, how would you prove it?

Why is it difficult for people to understand that stating that Naruto cared about Hinata doesn't deny what he had with Team 7? Or why is it difficult for NH fans to accept that Naruto's first ties were to Team 7?

* As an aside, I feel the need to point out that the Spanish version of the first question used Google Translate so the term “ships” (derived from the word “relationships”, and used in fandom parlance to refer to fan preferred romantic relationships) is translated literally to Spanish, that is: “ships” = “boats” = “barcos”. The thing is, we Spanish speakers don’t use the term “ships” when referring to fan-preferred romantic relationships, and a proper equivalent term doesn’t really exist in Spanish (or at least, not as far as I know, you never know what neologisms will come from the Internet after all). So, we simply refer to them as “parejas” (that is “pairings” or “couples”).

That clarification aside, I stated before I was going to reply to these asks, so here we are. Very belated reply, but I spent most of October and November swamped with work and hadn’t had the time or energy to reply before, especially as I ended extending myself and essentially composed an essay.

So, without further ado, the reply is below the cut. I ended composing it in English as the subsequent asks came in English, so I presumed whoever send the questions was more proficient in that language. I put it below the cut for the benefit of whoever doesn’t want to read my shipping rants:

Regarding why I chose to ship NaruHina over other ships, to put it simply, I just found NaruHina’s dynamic and relationship far more endearing.

At the core, NH is a very tender love story: Two kids who suffer from being looked down and rejected (him by most of the village, her by most of her family), ultimately find mutual support and love on each other. Specifically, I found that the scenes both of them have together during the Chunin Exams arc carried a lot of emotional torque, and those scenes made me fall in love with the couple. Those scenes are also the ones that I would use to establish the bond between Naruto and Hinata, because yes, I do think they have a bond, and is a bond we see blossom as the manga progresses even if (admittedly) is not a bond that receives a lot of focus.

He starts as a snotty and troublemaking brat, the worst student in his class and the village pariah (and a pariah for reasons that are not his fault and were absolutely beyond his control). But in spite of all his mistakes, he never surrenders and persists on making reality his impossible dream, no matter what everyone else says. His courage and determination end catching the eye of this quiet, timid girl, who is rejected by her family due to her lack of strength. Her admiration for him inspires her to become braver and stronger, and in the process she adopts his nindo (“I’ll never go back on my word”). Ultimately, said admiration also ends blossoming into love.

At the third Chunin Exam, after seeing Neji trying to demolish Hinata’s confidence with cruel words (cruel words that ring far too close to home for him), Naruto cheers on her, which motivates her to confront her fears and battle Neji in spite of her cousin surpassing her in skills by far. Hinata’s courage and determination during the fight end impressing Naruto in spite of her defeat. Neji’s brutality also motivates him to avenge her honor (and with a blood vow, no less), as he feels kinship with her.

Before the fight with Neji at the quarter finals, Naruto feels down as his opponent is really strong and, in spite of all his training, he is not sure that he can actually defeat him. By chance he ends running into Hinata. She thanks him for cheering on her previously and muses that she is finally starting to change a little and likes herself more now. At her words of gratitude, Naruto drops the bravado and turns sincere with her, revealing that in spite of his boasting, he doesn’t think a “failure” like him who is always making mistakes can defeat a genius like Neji.

In response, Hinata proceeds to encourage him, stating that what she admires of him is not that he is perfect, but rather that in spite of making mistakes and failing he has the ability to rise and try again. She considers said ability true strength, hence why she considers him a very strong person, or a “proud failure” as she calls it (and incidentally, this is another detail that makes the ship endearing to me: Hinata is among the first few people who sees beyond Naruto’s flaws and realizes his true worth). Her words end cutting deep into Naruto (just the way he looks at her completely wide eyed shows how much she affects him) and help him to recover his determination. He leaves to face Neji but not before thanking her, stating that while at first he considered her a weird and plain girl, she is actually “a person [he] truly like[s]”.

Later during the fight, after Neji explains the tragedy of his past and the reason for his fatalist outlook on life and destiny, among his rebuttals of said outlook Naruto calls Neji out for his treatment of Hinata, pointing out that Hinata also suffered like him yet still was desperately trying to change her own fate (thus showing us that Naruto also understood Hinata’s plight). Finally, after the fight and Naruto’s victory, his first thoughts while basking on the audience ovations are (at least in the manga): “Where is Hinata? Did she saw that?” (Of course, Hinata is unconscious at this point due to her prior injuries acting up when she saw Neji injuring Naruto, but that’s a bit beside the point).

As you can see, in that entire sequence of events mentioned above is shown that they end forming a bond in their mutual understanding and support of each other, as well as in their shared nindo. It’s not a bond that receives a lot of focus later in the story, admittedly, but it’s still there and later developments in the manga don’t really negate it. Indeed, we end seeing a couple of actually significant story events that ultimately reinforce it.

I’m talking of course of Pain’s invasion of Konoha (when, while trying to save him from Pain, Hinata confesses her love to Naruto, explaining how he inspired her to change and become better, then Naruto goes straight to Six Tails in rage after watching her being injured by the villain) and the battle between the Shinobi Alliance versus the “Uchiha Sith Lords” and the Juubi (when, after seeing Neji die in battle while protecting him, Naruto is about to surrender to Obito’s rhetoric due to failing to protect his friends, yet Hinata stops him and encourages him again, helping him recover his fighting spirit while telling him that his feelings for his friends were not a lie and pleading him to not let Neji’s death be in vain). Both scenes also have a lot (and I mean, A LOT) of emotional torque, and reinforce the theme of mutual understanding and support that runs in the ship. On the whole, it’s a really positive bond, as it essentially drives both characters to uplift each other.

Now, while there is some of that NaruHina dynamic (“mutual understanding and support of each other”) in the other two ships that you mention (NaruSaku and SasuNaru), there are also things regarding their respective dynamics in the canon that make them… well, far too troubling for my personal taste.

In the case of Naruto and Sakura, their relationship dynamic (especially in the anime adaptation) resembles a lot the typical “Tsundere” dynamic that you see in a lot of manga and anime: A protagonist who has a crush or is in love with a girl with a bad temper, with said girl always punching him out every time he tries to woo her (or otherwise does something stupid or perverted in front of her), although she gradually warms up to him as time passes. I have to clarify that, strictly speaking, I’m not really against that kind of relationship dynamic in anime and manga (indeed, I like a few ships in other series that have that kind of dynamic). However, in the case of Naruto and Sakura, I find that dynamic pretty troubling, primarily due to Naruto’s backstory, hence why I never shipped them in a romantic sense (although I must add that I do like their relationship at a platonic level, as they do have a couple of pretty tender scenes together).

I might also clarify (pertaining to how you phrased your question) that while Sakura does warm up to Naruto as time passes and starts considering him a good friend, in the manga it’s never explicitly show at all that she starts to return his feelings. At most it’s only briefly implied during the early arcs of part II, but the “fake confession” scene during the Iron Country arc essentially throws the possibility by the wayside.

As to Naruto and Sasuke… well, first it’s important to recognize that the manga’s author never intended their relationship to be seen in a romantic way, but rather as a sibling-like relationship. Of course, that doesn’t negate that their bond is central to the storyline, neither that it receives a lot of focus for most of the manga and it also has scenes with a lot of emotional torque. All of that inevitably leads to shippers pairing them together in a romantic way, regardless of what the author’s intentions were.

That being said, while there is also a theme of mutual understanding in their bond of brotherhood and rivalry that also drives them to uplift each other, the problem is that… well, to put it bluntly, their relationship becomes extraordinarily toxic for a pretty big chunk of the story. I mean, seriously: For most of part II of the manga (and most of Shippuden in the anime), Sasuke becomes a massive cretin and jerkass that treats his loved ones (including Naruto) like garbage, causing them a lot of emotional pain and strife. Sasuke also tries to murder his closest friend in multiple occasions and Naruto literally has to give an arm in exchange before the Uchiha finally has a moral epiphany and decides to change his ways. Given Naruto’s backstory, once again I find that dynamic extremely troubling and distasteful, hence why I’m not fan of pairing them in a romantic way.

(I might probably also add that it’s because of the above paragraph why I’m not really fan of SasuSaku either. I have made my peace with that pairing mostly because Sarada is one of my favorite characters in Boruto).

As to your final question… well, I can’t speak for everyone in the fandom neither want to make any generalizations, but from what I have seen around online, it seems to mostly boil down to classic fandom rivalry.

Naruto ran for almost 15 years with the characters locked in a messy love dodecahedron that the author didn’t intend to resolve until the very last second. During that time the different fandom factions that formed around every ship obviously came to blows, with rivalries and grudges forming. The net result is that a lot of people in the fandom have become extremely hyper-defensive regarding their preferred ships, with some people often overstating the importance of certain bonds while simultaneously minimizing other bonds. You certainly see it happen in all the shipping fandoms: There are some NaruHina fans that minimize the importance of Team 7 bonds with Naruto, as well as some fans of ships involving members of Team 7 who take issue with the notion of Hinata also having a bond with Naruto.

It doesn’t help that some fans (usually very young ones) have a very… well, “immature” understanding of love and relationships: Falling in love with someone shouldn’t mean that suddenly all your other relationships become “lesser”. Thus, the fact that Naruto fell in love with Hinata in the canon of the series doesn’t mean that his bonds with his team mates, friends and teachers no longer matter. On contraire, all of them are important in different ways.

#naruto #naruhina #shipping #analysis #fandom #fandom criticism

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alonely-dreamer · 5 years

Text

The Valuable Sun | Chapter 1

Summary: Brooklynne Stackhouse is Sookie and Jason Stackhouse’s little sister. Like her older sibling, she is a telepath, but her powers are far more stronger and far more uncontrollable than her sister’s. After a series of murders in Bon Temps, Sookie takes it upon herself to investigate, taking her younger sister with her in a club called Fangtasia, where they meet vampire and sheriff Eric Northman.

Pairing: Eric x OC

Warnings: 18+ (language, blood...)

A/N: Please, note that I am French so there might be some mistakes here and there.

Words: 8088

Schedule: A new chapter will be posted every Monday. Chapter 2 to 8 are available on my Patreon for early and instant access.

Masterlist

It was a warm night in Bon Temps, just a little after midnight. Adele Stackhouse was playing cards with her granddaughter, Brooklynne Stackhouse, in her kitchen. Entertaining the 23-year-old girl was nothing unusual for the old lady. Brooke had special needs. Not that she had any disability in particular, on the contrary, she had special abilities, some would even say supernatural ones.

Like her sister, Sookie Stackhouse, Brooklynne was a telepath. But she was more than that. Her strong telepathic ability made it difficult for her to focus on anything and she spent most of her time, like most of her life, trying to control it. And that’s what she was doing. Playing cards with her grandmother was a fun ritual but also a good exercise. The rule was simple: don’t cheat.

Brooklynne Stackhouse was bored most of the time. It’s not that she wasn’t allowed to leave her house, she just shouldn’t. So, she read a lot. Listened to music. Learnt new things on the internet. Danced. Sang. Played with her grandmother.

As Adele was about to win their current game, her first granddaughter interrupted them. Sookie was coming back from work, the blonde 25-year-old was wearing her uniform, the shorts and the white shirt with “Merlotte’s” written on it. She appeared to be in a great mood.

“Hey Gran.”

“Hi, honey,” Adele greeted her with a smile as she removed her glasses. She was wearing a long and white old-fashioned nightgown.

“Guess what happened tonight?”

Adele thought for a moment and a smile formed on her face.

“You got a date!”

Sookie frowned.

“Um… no…” she said, a bit bothered, “a vampire came into the bar!” she told her before Adele had the chance to be disappointed.

The old woman gasped. “Oh! Did he have fangs?”

Brooke chuckled quietly.

“Yeah, but most of the time they stayed put away.”

“Did he bite anybody?”

“No,” Sookie laughed. “He just had a glass of wine. Well, he ordered it but didn’t drink it. I think he just wanted some company.”

“Did you like him?” Adele asked with a grin and Brooke looked up at her big sister, curious too.

Sookie looked down and shrugged.

“He was real interesting.”

Adele smiled and hummed, looking at her granddaughter as if she could see right through her. Brooklynne actually could. Sookie’s thoughts echoed in her head as she heard them in her sister’s mind.

“You know what else?” she said as she sat down next to her. “I couldn’t read his thoughts.”

Brooklynne’s smile disappeared as she focused on her sister’s face. “Quiet?” She asked silently.

“Yep,” Sookie replied out loud. “I guess we can’t read vampires’ thoughts because they’re dead. It was so peaceful,” she sighed as she remembered being alone with him.

As the night’s events went through her head, Brooklynne saw it all. Bill, the vampire, entering Merlotte’s, ordering the wine, being attacked in the parking lot, Sookie rescuing him. The silence.

“Dangerous,” Brooklynne said as she looked back at her cards.

Sookie knew what she was referring to, but she didn’t want to alert her grandmother so didn’t reply.

“I’ll let you go to bed,” Sookie said as she got up.

She kissed her grandmother’s cheek before walking up to her bedroom.

“G’night Brooke.”

“Dream sweet dreams for me,” she sang quietly, like she would sometimes.

“Come on, honey, let’s finish this game.”

***

It was a hot morning. Sookie took the opportunity to put on a two-piece bathing suit and lie down a lounge chair, thinking about nothing but the vampire she had met the night before, and the weird dream that followed. Brooklynne was near her, wearing a short yellow dress, her long blonde hair brought up in a ponytail, and dancing barefoot on the grass. The music was in her head. She wasn’t paying attention to anything. Not even to her brother who had just stopped his truck in front of her. He got out quickly, not even bothering to say hello, shut the door of his car and walked straight up to Sookie.

“Hey! How come you didn’t tell me you beat up the Rattrays last night?”

“I haven’t even seen you since then!”

“Where’s Gran?”

“Hanging the laundry out back, and you keep your voice down! I don’t want her to know about any of this.”

“Fortenberry couldn’t wait till I got to work this morning to tell me about it!”

“Hoyt Fortenberry? How the heck does he know?”

“He went over to the Rats last night to buy some weed. And Denise drove up like she wanted to kill somebody, she was so mad. The only way she would sell him any weed was if he would drive Mack to the hospital in Monroe.”

“Uh-huh. Well, did Hoyt tell you that Mack came after me with a knife?”

“Motherfucker! You want me to kick his ass?”

“I already took care of that, thank you.”

Jason nodded, content to hear that justice had already been served.

“Well did you know that in addition to drugs, the Rats also happen to be vampire drainers?” she asked, and her brother frowned. “Yep. One of my customers last night was a vampire and they were draining him in the parking lot. I couldn’t have that.”

Jason took a deep breath, as if he were angry. Brooke was listening to them but when she heard why Jason didn’t like vampires, she took an interest in the conversation.

“Sookie, you do not want to get mixed up with vampires. Trust me.”

“Oh, shut up. Even if you hate vampires, you can’t let trash like the Rats go and drain them. It’s not like siphoning gas out of a car. They would have left him to die.”

“Who fucking cares? He’s already dead.”

“That’s not his fault!”

Jason sighed. He was about to walk out when a thought crossed his mind.

“What did he look like?”

“Handsome… in a sorta… sorta old-fashioned, like from a movie on TCM.”

“Was he bald-headed?”

“No,” she almost chuckled. “He had really nice hair.”

“Tattoos?”

“None that I could see,” she shrugged.

“It’s not your fault that they hover,” Brooklynne suddenly started to sing as she kept dancing, looking up at the sky as if her siblings weren’t just right in front of her, “I mean no disrespect, it’s my right to be hellish, I still get jealous.”

“I’m not jealous!” Jason stopped her and she laughed with her usual childlike laugh.

“Jason!” Adele interrupted them. She was walking towards them with a basket of wet laundry. “Sakes alive, boy, where have you been keeping yourself? You get on over here and hug my neck.”

“You get here, Gran,” he said as he stepped towards her to do as she said. “How’s my girl?”

“You’re all sweaty.”

“I know.”

“You want some iced tea?”

“I would love some iced tea,” he nodded as he let her grandmother drag him inside the house.

***

Jason stayed for lunch, during which he ate all of his food and most of Sookie’s and Brooke’s who were used to it. The phone rang, making Adele get up and leave the kitchen. Brooklynne focused on neither of their thoughts but rather escaped her own. She did that, sometimes. She left. Her body was still there, but her mind was travelling. She often went to “other worlds” as Adele called them. The doctors called it ADD. Brooke had no name for it as she wasn’t always in the same place. At that moment, like most of the time, she was at the pond in the cemetery, except there was more light and more sun but it wasn’t hot. There were other people there, but they couldn’t see each other, she just felt their presence.

“Brooke, stay with us,” she heard Sookie say and she came back.

She looked around and her siblings were still eating their food, but Adele was nowhere to be found. She could hear her on the phone in the other room.

“How long?” she asked.

“You’ve only been gone for about 5 minutes,” Sookie replied.

“Enough time for me to eat your food,” Jason smirked. “You weren’t hungry, were you?”

She didn’t answer. She never really did.

“That was Everlee Mason,” Adele said as she walked back in the kitchen with the phone in her hand. She had a horrified look on her face. “Guess who was found strangled to death in her apartment? Maudette Pickens.”

It was like an alarm ringing inside Brooklynne’s head, and it was coming from her brother’s mind. Jason had a worried look on his face and it didn’t take long for Brooklynne to find out everything.

“Oh my Lord,” Sookie breathed out.

“She didn’t show up to work and wasn’t answering her phone, and so her boss called Bud Dearborne. He rode over, got the manager to let him in and they found her.”

“I went to high school with Maudette!”

“Can you believe it? A murder in Bon Temps?”

“Well, why are you surprised?” Jason spoke up. “Now that we got ourselves a vampire.”

“Just because he’s a vampire doesn’t mean he’s a murderer,” Sookie objected.

“Oh, come on! Fang-bangers go missing all the time in Shreveport. New Orleans. They never find them, but everybody knows the vampires are killing them and then disposing of the bodies.”

“What’s a ‘fang-banger’?”

“A vampire groupie,” Sookie answered, but that didn’t help her grandmother much. “Men and women who like to get bitten…”

“My stars!”

“Maudette was a fang-banger?” Sookie asked, more than surprised. “How do you know that?”

Jason didn’t answer right away. He was stuck. Brooke was listening silently to his every thought, but guilt and worry was all over his face.

“I don’t know, Sookie!” he replied loudly, with a defensive tone. “The way that you just know things sometimes!” he hit the table with his fist before he got up and took his plate to the sink.

Sookie watched him walk around the table carefully but didn’t reply. Her brother put down his plate and turned around, leaning against the sink.

He sighed. “There’s also hookers who specialize in vampires,” he told them with a calmer tone, “they drink Tru Blood to keep their supply up and they keep a bodyguard there in case the vamp gets a little too frisky,” he finished with a grin as if he thought the information amusing.

His sisters and grandmother did not, however, find that information amusing, and just stared at him in silence with a curious and suspicious look. Even though Sookie was trying to stay out of her brother’s mind, it was not a choice for Brooklynne who already knew everything.

“I read that in a magazine,” he lied.

“I wonder how much one would charge for something like that,” Adele said.

“A thousand bucks,” he answered, almost too quickly.

“See, now that just makes me sick,” Sookie sighed.

“I know,” Adele agreed, “what kind of cheap woman could ever do something like that?”

“No, it makes me sick that they’re getting a thousand bucks to lay there and do nothing while I bust my ass for 10 bucks an hour plus tips,” she clarified.

“Oh, I don’t think they just lay there,” Jason added with another grin, “I think they’re expected to… you know, participate.”

“Ew,” the waitress grimaced.

“Yeah,” Jason chuckled.

But his smile gradually disappeared as his eyes wandered around and his mind got lost in dark thoughts. The sudden change made Sookie curious and she focused on her brother’s mind, trying to hear something.

“Well, uh… thanks for lunch, Gran,” he said before he walked out of the kitchen.

Brooke watched as her sister got up and went after their brother. Sookie stopped him, putting her hands on his shoulders and turning him around to face her.

“What?” he asked with a frown.

She didn’t answer and took his face in her hands, closing her eyes as a way to focus.

“This can’t be happening to me. How could I lose control? How come she…”

But before he could finish his thought, he realized what she was doing and stopped her. He pushed her hands away and stepped back.

“Don’t try that with me, goddamn it! I’m your brother!” he shouted before he left the house.

Sookie watched him leave and didn’t try to stop him this time. She slowly made her way back to the kitchen where Adele was waiting for an explanation. Brooklynne wasn’t paying attention anymore, and she was playing with a lock of hair, twirling it around her finger, looking at it like it contained the answer to the meaning of life. When she was like this, people around her had just started to assume that they could say anything, and she wouldn’t hear them. But she did. She heard everything, spoken or unspoken. She was just really good at keeping secrets. Especially other people’s secrets.

***

Sookie left in the evening with a mission. Of course, she was going to work, but she had another task to accomplish. Adele Stackhouse was head of the Descendants of the Glorious Dead, a social organization she created to honor the American Civil War. People met to discuss the war and the effects it had on Bon Temps. Adele wondered if Bill would agree to come and speak at one of their meetings about his recollections of the war. Sookie agreed to ask him, it was a good excuse to speak to him again, after all. It was all Adele could think about that night, as she played Scrabble with her granddaughter. She tried to stay up as late as she could to ask Sookie when she came back from work but as she was falling asleep on the couch, she went to bed around 1AM, after she made sure Brooklynne was sleeping in her room.

It was the first thing they talked about in the morning. Sookie was sitting at the kitchen table, wearing the top of a green bathing suit with white dots and a very short white dress with green flowers. She was watching TV, listening to Reverend Theodore Newlin screaming at Nan Flanagan, a vampire rights advocate from the American Vampire League. Brooklynne was there too, sitting in front of her sister and turning her back on the TV. She was playing with the bottom of her green lime shirt and tugging at it.

“I don’t think Jesus would mind if somebody was a vampire,” Sookie told her grandmother who was fixing breakfast.

“I don’t either, honey,” she said as she put a plate of food on the table.

Sookie took a bite and hummed. “Is this sausage different from what you usually make?”

“No.”

“Uh… It tastes so much more complex than it usually does.”

“Oh dear, you think it’s gone bad?”

“No, it’s delicious. It’s like, I can close my eyes and I can see the farm the pig lived on and feel the sun and rain on my face and even taste the earth that the herbs grew out of.”

Adele stared at her with surprise and curiosity. She didn’t understand where all of this was coming from.

Brooklynne laughed. “You’re weird.”

They were interrupted by the sound of the back door opening and closing.

“Hey, Miss Stackhouse,” Tara said with a smile as she stepped in the kitchen. She was wearing a blue top and a pair of jeans and her black hair was tied up in a messy bun.

“Good morning, Tara,” Adele greeted.

Tara went for the coffee pot, but it was empty. As she was about to make more, Adele stopped her.

“No, you sit down. I’ll make a new pot,” she said before she kissed her forehead.

“All right,” Tara laughed.

She sat between Sookie and Brooklynne with an empty mug in her hand.

“What’s up, Brooke?”

The girl raised her head and smiled as soon as she saw her friend, as if she hadn’t heard her come in.

“Hi Tara.”

“What are we thinking about today?”

Brooklynne ignored the question, as always, and leaned forward, putting her pale hand on Tara’s dark arm.

“You’re pretty,” she smiled.

Tara laughed. “Well, aren’t you cute?”

Brooklynne smiled again but didn’t reply. She then leaned back in her seat and started playing with the bottom of her shirt again, ignoring the rest of the world.

“Any news about Jason?”

“Yeah, we heard from Everly already. They let him go last night.”

“I knew they would.”

“I didn��t,” Sookie shrugged.

Tara was offended by the lack of faith her sister had in her brother. He was dumb, for sure, but he wasn’t a murderer.

“Well, I’m glad to see you’re still alive. You obviously did not hook up with that vampire last night.”

Brooklynne chuckled, still looking down at her lap. Sookie and Tara gave her a quick look but went back to ignoring her. The look on Sookie’s face answered Tara’s question.

“Oh, Sookie, sometimes you are just plain dumb.”

“Shut up! Luckily Gran was in bed when I got in last night.”

“Did he bite you?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? You know they can hypnotize you.”

“Yeah, and black people are lazy, and Jews have horns!”

Tara rolled her eyes. She turned around when she heard Adele coming back in the kitchen.

“You must be glad they let Jason go, huh, Miss Stackhouse.”

“I can’t even believe that they arrested him to begin with! I have a good mind to call Bud Dearborne and chew him out. Jason’s a good boy. Everybody knows that.”

Brooklynne chuckled again. No one had time to say anything more as the phone started to ring and Adele picked it up.

“Hello? Oh, hey! Everley!” she greeted over the phone as she left the kitchen.

As soon as she was gone, Jason came in by the backdoor.

“Am I too late for breakfast?” he asked. “Oh, hey Tara!”

“Hey. Hey Jason,” she stuttered like a 15-year-old talking to her crush. “I’m so glad they didn’t lock you up.”

Jason opened the fridge and took out a plate of cold sausages. He froze for a few seconds then turned around and leaned against the fridge.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, me too. I don’t even know why they suspected me,” he continued as he took a bite of a sausage. “I think somebody heard I’d been with Maudette?”

“Had you?” Sookie asked.

“No,” he answered with an annoyed tone.

“Are you sure? She was a woman,” his sister insisted.

Jason sighed in annoyance. “That’s funny. At least she was human.”

Sookie gave him a dark look but didn’t have time to come up with an answer as her grandmother came back in the kitchen with some news.

“You will never believe what happened,” she said with excitement, “Oh, hey Jason.”

“Hey, Gran.”

“You sit down. I’ll fix you breakfast.”

“What happened?” Sookie asked.

“Well, apparently, a tornado touched down over at Four Tracks Corners,” she said with a sudden dark tone, “It turned over that rent trailer in the clearing. You know the one?”

“Uh-huh…”

“And it killed that couple that’s been staying in there.”

“Wh- Mack and Denise Rattray?” Jason asked.

“They were trapped under the trailer. Mike Spencer said they were crushed to a pulp.”

Brooklynne laughed out loud suddenly, and even though they all turned to look at her, they didn’t think it was because of what Adele had just said. She just did that, sometimes.

“A tornado,” she repeated with a small laugh as she played with the bottom of her shirt.

***

Adele spent the day cleaning the house. Brooklynne helped at the beginning but quickly got distracted. She was laying on the couch, looking at her own hair, when Sookie came back in the house. Adele was vacuuming in the living room.

“You know, he sleeps in the ground all day. I don’t think he’s gonna even look at the rug.”

“I’m not doing this for him. I’m doing this for me. So I can be proud of my home. And how do you know where he sleeps?”

“I don’t, actually,” she chuckled. She then tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “What’s that smell?”

Adele turned off the vacuum. “What smell?”

Brooklynne sat up and watched her sister sniff around the living room.

“It smells like rotten food or something. You can’t smell that?”

Adele shook her head no and Brooklynne shrugged.

“Well find it.”

Sookie took a few more steps and pushed the armchair a little, then bent over and found a piece of old biscuit on the floor.

“Uh, you can’t smell this?”

Adele shook her head no again and gave her granddaughter a weird look.

“Well, I better throw this out.”

As she was about to exit the living room, her grandmother stopped her.

“Oh, Sookie?”

“Yeah?”

“Jason and Tara are coming over this evening as well.”

Sookie’s eyes grew big as bad scenarios went through her mind.

“Gran…”

“Well, they invited themselves. Jason said that he wants to meet the vampire for himself and… Tara said she thought she ought to be here as well.”

“I don’t know why everyone’s getting their panties in a wad about some stupid vampire!” Sookie whined.

“Did you want to be alone with him?”

Sookie shook her head and shrugged, “I don’t know… maybe…”

Adele grinned.

“Aren’t you gonna tell me to be careful?”

“You’re always careful, Sookie, about what counts. And I can depend on that. Isn’t that right?”

Sookie paused for a minute. She then nodded before she turned around and left.

***

Bill arrived with the night. All eyes were on him. Jason’s were more like daggers. He was looking at the vampire as if he had killed his entire family. Tara’s look was more suspicious, while Brooklynne was extremely curious. Sookie hadn’t lied. She couldn’t hear his thoughts. Not even when she tried. It was completely silent. A peaceful sensation Brooke had never felt before. She was fascinated. So was her grandmother, but for a completely different reason.

“Your people, Mr. Compton, they were from this area, I believe?”

“Yeah, my father’s people were Comptons and my mother’s people were Loudermilks.”

“Oh, there are a lot of Loudermilks left. But I’m afraid old Mr. Jesse Compton died last year.”

“Yes, ma’am. That’s why I came back to Bon Temps. There were no living Comptons, so I’ve set up home in the old Compton place. And as I expect the VRA to pass…”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be too sure about that if I were you,” Jason interrupted him. “A lot of Americans don’t think you people deserve special rights.”

“They’re the same rights you have.”

“No, I’m just saying there’s a reason things are the way they are.”

“Yeah. It’s called injustice.”

Jason’s mouth twitched out of anger.

“Listen, it’s called ‘this is how we do it’.”

“Jason!” Adele stopped him. “This is my house. I will not tolerate rudeness!”

Jason grunted but leaned back in the armchair. Bill was obviously angry, and it was his eyes now that were daggers.

“Did you know the Stackhouses, Mr. Compton?” Adele continued her interrogation.

“Yes, um… I remember Jonas Stackhouse. He and his wife moved here when Bon Temps was just a hole in the road. I was a young man of 16. Isn’t this the house he built? I mean, at least in part?”

“Yes, it was,” Adele nodded with enthusiasm.

“Did you own slaves?”

“Tara!” Sookie breathed out, surprised by the sudden question.

“I did not. But my father did. A house slave, a middle-aged woman whose name I cannot recall and a yard slave, a young, strong man named Minas.”

“Oh, these are just the sort of things my club will be so interested in hearing about.”

“About slaves?” Tara asked quite aggressively.

“Well… about anything having to do with that time…”

An awkward and uncomfortable silence settled which was mercifully broken by Bill.

“I look forward to speaking to your club, Mrs. Stackhouse.”

Adele laughed like a 16-year-old.

“Now… if it’s alright with you, I thought that Sookie and I might take a walk. It’s such a lovely night.”

“Well, it’s alright with me if it’s alright with Sookie.”

Jason put his beer down and got up.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said.

“Jason, sit down and shut up,” Brooklynne said calmly, calmer than anyone who would say that would, as if she expected him to comply instantly. And he did.

Bill frowned as he watched the young Stackhouse immobile in his seat. It was as if she had just glamoured him without even looking at him, without even having the powers of a vampire.

“Um… shall we?” Bill asked Sookie as he held his hand.

“We shall,” she said as she took it.

Once they were out of the house, Jason turned to look at his sister and complained.

“I told you not to do that to me! You made me look like a fool in front of him!”

“Oh Jason,” Adele said as she got up, “You don’t need any help to look like a fool.”

***

Brooklynne was lying in her bed, in the darkness of her room, when Sookie came back home. The entire evening was still fresh in her memory and Brooke saw all of it. She learnt that Bill’s blood was inside Sookie, that it was the reason for her acute senses and the weird wet dreams, and that Bill would be able to find Sookie at any time. To feel her when she was in trouble and come to the rescue as fast as possible. Information Sookie had had trouble to take in. But not for long as the evening ended with a kiss. And the night ended with another wet dream.

***

Days passed and Sookie kept seeing Bill. Though it seemed she wasn’t sure about her feelings. She had admitted to Adele and Brooklynne she was scared of him and Brooklynne knew why. She knew everything all the time. That’s why she was always so tired, so absent. But she was aware.

Sookie had had an unfortunate meeting with three other vampires, a moment during which Bill showed his dark side, his vampire side. He called her ‘his’, so that other vampires would leave her alone, as if it made her safe or safer.

She thought she was at least safe during the day, but even that proved to be untrue as one morning, while she was doing a favor for Sam, her boss, she found her colleague, Dawn, a waitress and Jason’s ‘friend’, dead in her bed. That same morning, Jason got arrested again.

Adele was worried. She knew people would want to know who was killing those young ladies and she was afraid they’d come after Jason. She asked Sookie to keep her ears open and to listen carefully in case she would hear the killer or find out who had done it.

Brooklynne wanted to help too, but she knew her grandmother wouldn’t let her leave the house.

An opportunity arose, however, when Sookie came back home from work sooner than she should have. She had made plans with Bill to go to a vampire bar in Shreveport called ‘Fangtasia’ and try to find some information that would help Jason. Brooke wasn’t going to let that opportunity pass.

“I’m going with you.”

“No way!” Sookie said as she fixed her makeup. “I’m not taking you to a vampire bar!”

“Why not? You’re going! And I’m bored! I wanna leave the house and I wanna help, you know I can do it!”

“I know you can do it, it’s not about that, it’s just… it’s too dangerous!”

“I can defend myself, you know that!”

“I also know that other people, especially vampires, shouldn’t know it.”

“Well, I’m going with you, I’m not asking. I’m an adult and I can do whatever I want.”

Sookie sighed. She stayed silent for a minute, fixed her outfit, a white dress with red flowers on it, and put on her shoes, red ballerina flats.

“He thinks it’s a date,” Brooke continued.

“What?”

“He thinks it’s a date. If I’m there, there would be no doubt about it.”

“How do you know what he thinks?”

“I watch movies,” she shrugged. “A lot of them.”

Sookie rolled her eyes. It was a good argument though she didn’t really mind being alone with Bill. But she didn’t want him to know that.

“Fine! You can come with me.”

Brooklynne smiled, victorious.

“But you have to stay with me, all the time.”

“I will,” she nodded. “I won’t leave your side, I promise.”

“And you have to stay focused. Be careful.”

“I will! I promise!”

“Fine then,” Sookie sighed. “Come on.”

***

“Wh- you’re taking Brooke?” Adele asked Sookie in a whisper as if her granddaughter wouldn’t hear her.

“She can help. And it’ll be good for her to leave the house.”

“Well, I agree, but… a vampire bar isn’t the safest place…”

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Stackhouse,” Bill interrupted her. “I promise no harm will come to your granddaughters.”

Adele smiled awkwardly. “Ah, well… if you insist…” she said with worry in her voice.

“Good night, Mrs. Stackhouse.”

“Oh, go- good night, Mr. Compton. Be careful girls.”

“Bye, Gran.”

The three of them left the house and got into Bill’s car, Sookie in the passenger seat and Brooklynne in the back. She was wearing one of Sookie’s dresses, a short yellow sleeveless gown, and a pair of low heels yellow pumps. Her long blonde hair was caressing her nude back. She was excited to finally be going out, to meet more vampires, and to clear her brother’s name.

***

When they arrived at Fangtasia, Sookie immediately took her sister’s hand, to make sure she wouldn’t go anywhere. As they were walking towards the bar, Bill put his arm around Sookie’s waist and brought her to him, in a protective way. It was awkward to be holding her sister’s hand while being in the arms of a man and she unconsciously let her sister’s hand go.

Once they were inside, they were immediately greeted by a female blonde vampire wearing a leather black sleeveless dress and high heel pumps. She was wearing a lot of makeup, including a very red lipstick.

“Bill. Haven’t seen you in a while,” she said in a completely disinterested tone.

“I’m mainstreaming.”

“Good for you,” she almost rolled her eyes as she replied with a bored tone as if she didn’t care or didn’t like it, “Who’s the doll?” she asked, sounding almost interested.

“Pam this is Sookie, and her sister, Brooklynne. Sookie, Brooklynne, this is Pam.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Sookie smiled at her as she held out her hand.

Pam looked at it as if it contained the plague.

“Can I see your ID?”

The request made Sookie laugh, however she understood why she would ask. Brooklynne looked like a teenager.

“I can no longer tell human ages. We must be careful we serve no minors, in any capacity.”

She took a look at both IDs before she gave them back to their owners.

“Twenty-five, huh? How sweet it is,” she said as she looked at Bill. She was mostly interested by Sookie, probably because she was the one in Bill’s arms, Brooklynne thought.

She finally let them pass and Brooklynne took her sister’s hand again as they walked past Pam.

The club was crowded, loud, dark and red. There were dancers everywhere, male and female, some vampires, some humans, most of them were half naked, wearing black leather and black lipstick. It was almost like the cliché vampire bar one would imagine. The humans came for the danger, the vampires came for the fun of it.

“This feels a little bit like what a vampire bar would look like if it were a… a ride at Disney World,” Sookie said. However, Brooklynne couldn’t picture any of this in Disney World. Too much nudity.

“Well, don’t get too comfortable. It tends to get more authentic as the night wears on.”

“There are more humans here than vampires,” Brooklynne noticed as the loud thoughts of the customers echoed in her head.

They took the direction of the bar where a vampire asked them what they wanted to drink. He had medium long black hair, dark eyes, and tattoos on both arms. He was shirtless, only wearing a sleeveless black leather vest. He looked tired, though maybe that was just because of the eyeliner around his eyes.

“How’s it going Bill?”

“Very well.”

“I’ll say it is. This is your meal for tonight?”

“This is my friend Sookie, and her sister, Brooklynne. Sookie, Brooklynne, Longshadow.”

“Nice to meet you,” Sookie politely greeted, but once again received no answer. “I’ll have a gin and tonic, please.”

“And I’ll have a bottle of O-negative.”

“And what about the sister?”

Brooklynne didn’t give him an answer. She didn’t realize he was talking to her. The voices in her head were too loud and she got distracted. Sookie took her hand, making her sister look at her and focus once again.

“She’ll have a coke,” Sookie answered for her.

“Longshadow, Sookie here, would like to know if she could ask you a few questions. Would this be acceptable?”

“I just have a couple of pictures I’d love you to take a look at,” she said as she took the photos of Maudette and Dawn out of her bag, “Do you recognize either of these women?”

Longshadow took the pictures and put them on the bar.

“Yeah, I’ve seen them both here before.”

“Great! Thank you,” Sookie said quickly and enthusiastically, as she was happy he was cooperating and wanted him to continue, “Do you also happen to remember who they hung around with?”

“That’s something we don’t notice here. You won’t either.”

“Okay, then. Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time.”

“This one,” he said as he took Maudette’s picture. “She wanted to die.”

Sookie frowned. “How do you know?”

“Everyone who comes here does, in their own way. That’s who we are: Death.”

Sookie didn’t reply. What could she say to that? Bill paid for the drinks and they walked away. They settled at a table and Sookie started listening to the people around her. Brooklynne was already “scanning” the area. She tried to block out the music which she found horrible. A man was screaming some words she couldn’t understand over loud guitar and drums. She found other people’s thoughts more pleasant for once.

Sookie heard a man among the crowd of clients, he was thinking about the blond vampire sitting on the throne on the stage at the end of the room. He walked slowly towards him and kneeled near him. He put his hand on the vampire’s leg and started moving it up his thigh. Suddenly, the vampire, who had been silently staring at the bald man until then, got up with vampire speed, and pushed him away. The man, who looked like he was in his forties, fell down and hurt his head which started to bleed. A female vampire with short brown hair and a short black dress helped the human get up and they disappeared in an instant.

“Still think you’re in Disneyland?” Bill told Sookie who chose to ignore him.

“Do you hear anything?” Sookie asked her little sister.

“A lot of things,” she replied. “Nothing helpful. It’s loud.”

“How come no one fucked me? I got a dog collar too.”

“Morticia, how’d you like me to rip that tape off your tits?”

“It ain’t gay if a guy’s a vampire, is it?”

“I’m gonna get kicked out of my frat if I don’t fuck a vampire tonight.”

“You’re able to pick up anything?” Bill asked Sookie after a while.

“All anyone’s thinking about here is sex, sex, sex.”

“One needn’t be telepathic to pick up on that.”

Suddenly, Bill straightened up. “Uh-oh.”

“Don’t say ‘uh-oh’. Vampires are not supposed to say ‘uh-oh’!”

“It’s Eric,” he said as he looked at the blond vampire on the ‘throne’. “He’s scanned you twice. He’s going to summon us,” he told her like it was a bad thing, something he’d had preferred to avoid.

“He can do that?”

“Oh, yeah...”

And as he said it, Eric gestured for them to come. Bill held out his hand but before she took it, she looked over at her sister, who was looking inside her empty glass of coke. Gone, as usual.

“Brooklynne, come on.”

The girl looked up and gave her a confused look.

“Come on,” Sookie said again as she took her hand.

Sookie squeezed her sister’s hand as they approached Eric. Pam was standing behind him, her arm resting on the top of the ‘throne’.

“Bill Compton. It has been a while.”

“Yes, well, I’ve been…”

“Mainstreaming,” Eric cut him off. He said it with a grin, as if it was something to be ashamed of. “I heard.” He looked over at Sookie, who was on Bill’s left, holding his hand. “I see that is going well for you.” He then, looked at Brooklynne, who was standing a little behind Sookie, squeezing her sister’s hand too, and looking at Eric and Pam with a sort of fascination. The silence in their head was relaxing. “Very well, apparently,” he chuckled.

“Yes, of course, sorry,” Bill said. “Eric, these are my friends…”

“Sookie and Brooklynne Stackhouse.”

“How do you know our names?”

“I never forget a pretty face. You’re in my vault,” Pam said as she pointed a finger at her head.

“Great. That’s just great,” Sookie blabbered, not sure how to handle that information. “It’s nice to meet you,” she told Eric.

“Well, aren’t you sweet?” he grinned mockingly.

“Not really.”

As she said it, Bill squeezed her hand to stop her and Brooklynne laughed. It was a childlike laugh. A laugh that Eric never thought he’d hear in Fangtasia and a laugh that had no place in his club. It made Eric smirk.

“Vår lilla djurpark börjar växa till sig,” Eric said. (Looks like our zoo is growing.)

“Jag vet,” Pam replied. (I know.)

“I think he just called you a pet,” Brooke whispered in Sookie’s ear.

“How do you know?” her sister gave her a weird look which Brooklynne ignored.

“You speak Swedish?” Eric asked, suddenly very interested.

“Ja. Inte lika bra som dig,” she said with an amused smile. (Yes. But not better than you.)

“You speak Swedish?” Sookie was taken aback. “How?”

“The internet,” she shrugged.

“Well, your friend is full of surprises, Bill,” Eric grinned.

“I know right?” Sookie sulked.

“I understand you’ve been asking questions about some of my customers.”

“Yes, I have.”

“If you have anything to ask, you should ask it of me.”

“Alrighty,” Sookie nodded. She took out the pictures from her bag and gave them to Eric. “You recognize either one of these girls?”

He took a look at them and smirked as he hummed, probably remembering something pleasant.

“This one offered herself to me,” he said, pointing at the photo of Maudette. “But I found her too pathetic for my attentions. Now, this one, however,” he continued, pointing at Dawn, “I have tasted.”

“I remember them both,” Pam said.

“On account of the vault?” Sookie asked, not caring she was being sassy with a vampire, or not realizing it. Brooklynne laughed quietly, looking up at her big sister. Bill quickly took Sookie’s hand again, to stop her. Eric noticed. Pam didn’t budge. “Never had either of them, though. They weren’t really my type.”

“Are you hearing anything?” Sookie asked silently to her sister who shook her head no.

“Well, thank you very much. That is all your time I need to take,” Sookie said as she took the pictures back from Eric.

“I’m not finished with you yet,” he said quickly and dryly. “Please,” he gave her a fake smile that didn’t seem friendly at all, “Sit.”

Sookie looked over at Bill and she understood from the look on his face that they didn’t really have a choice. She looked at the chairs next to Eric’s ‘throne’, one on his right and one on his left, and realized there wasn’t enough chairs for the three of them. Bill gestured Sookie to sit on Eric’s right while he let Brooklynne sit on his left.

“Well, we can’t let poor Mr. Compton without a chair,” Eric said as he raised a hand stopping Brooklynne from sitting.

“I’m fine.”

“I insist,” Eric continued as he rested his hand on his lap as a silent command to the young woman.

Brooklynne’s eyes grew big, though not out of fear but surprise. She looked at her sister who shook her head no.

“Really, Eric, I’m fine on my feet.”

“Sit,” Eric ordered. He would not be refused.

Bill sighed. He silently and slowly walked over to the chair on Eric’s left and sat down. Eric smirked at Brooklynne as he held out his hand.

“Jag insisterar.” (I insist.)

Brooke hesitated for a few seconds but then smiled, amused, as she took his hand. She sat on his lap, turning her back to Bill and facing her worried sister.

“Oroa dig inte. Jag kommer inte att bita,” he said with a smug smile. (Don’t worry. I won’t bite.)

“Jag är inte orolig,” she replied with a smile of her own as she put her hand on his shoulder. (I’m not worried.)

Eric chuckled, almost impressed. “I like you.” He kept his hands to himself, something Brooklynne appreciated particularly. “So Bill, are you quite attached to your friend?” he asked as he looked Sookie up and down.

“She is mine,” Bill immediately said with a threatening tone.

“Yes, I am his.”

“Good. I imagine you aren’t his, then,” he told Brooklynne as he looked back at her.

“That’s right,” she replied, wondering why he’d even be interested in her, and wishing she could hear what he was thinking, for once.

“Where the fuck are they? My backup was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago. I can’t handle a raid on my own. These fucking vampires…”

The undercover police officer's thoughts resonated in Sookie’s head and set off loud alarms.

“We have to get out of here!” she said suddenly, making Eric and Pam raise their eyebrows and look at her like she was crazy.

“Sookie!” Bill reprimanded her rudeness.

“Eric, the cops are coming! There’s gonna be a raid!”

Brooklynne frowned at the new information. Sookie heard something she didn’t? That was unusual. She straightened up and focused on the room.

“Tell me you’re not an undercover cop,” Eric asked with a threatening tone.

“I’m not but that man in the hat is,” Sookie replied as she gestured towards the man.

“Even if you’re right, we do nothing illegal here.”

“There’s a vampire in the ladies’ room, she’s feeding on a man,” Brooklynne said, in a surprisingly calm tone.

“How do you know this?” Pam asked.

Brooke looked up at her, then at Sookie, who shook her head no. Before she had the chance to reply, however, the police barged in.

“Police! Police! Freeze!”

They all got up at the sudden entrance, and Eric instructed them to follow him.

“Hands where I can see them!”

They exited through the back door.

“I enjoyed meeting you, Miss Stackhouse. You will come again,” he told Brooklynne before he disappeared in the night with Pam.

Bill, Sookie and Brooke ran towards the direction of the car and left as fast as they could. They were quiet in the vehicle, listening to Bill’s foreign music, neither girl could tell what language they were speaking, though Brooklynne imagined it was some kind of Asian language. Brooklynne kept thinking about Eric, how peaceful it had been to be near him, the silence that had overtook her as she was sitting on his lap. She couldn’t figure out why he had found her so interesting though she supposed it didn’t really matter. He probably didn’t want to do anything pleasant with her.

A car appeared suddenly behind them and blinded Bill’s rear-view mirror with a bright yellow light.

“Shoot,” Sookie breathed out as she realized it was a police car. “Pull over.”

Bill obliged. He knew what was coming. A suspicious policeman worried that Bill was taking advantage of two young women. There was only one way he’d get out of this without any issue and he didn’t imagine Sookie would be pleased by what she was about to see him do.

The police car flashed its light behind Bill’s as the officer walked towards the driver’s seat. He knocked on the door and instructed the vampire to open the window.

“Brooke, can you take care of this?” Sookie said suddenly, surprising and confusing Bill.

“With pleasure,” she replied with a satisfied smile. She was happy to finally be allowed to use her abilities.

“Hello, officer,” Sookie greeted.

“Evening, miss. What are you three doing out this late?”

“Nothing. And that’s a good enough answer for you,” Brooke merely said. “Now turn around and drive away.”

Without another word, the police officer did exactly as she said. He got back into his car and drove away.

“How do you do that?” Bill asked, completely baffled.

Brooke shrugged. “I don’t know. I just do it.”

“You can glamour people without any effort! Only vampires can do that!”

“What’s ‘glamour’?”

“Vampires can hypnotize people,” Sookie explained, “make them do things…”

“Can we go home?” she stopped her as if she weren’t interested anymore, “I’m tired.”

Sookie chuckled as if she were used to it.

“Of course,” Bill nodded as he started driving again.

***

The next morning, Brooklynne got up late. The adventures of the previous night had tired her, and she wanted to be well rested to attend her grandmother’s meeting. “Vampire Bill” talking at the church was all the town could talk about that day. It rose curiosity among the people of Bon Temps and a “Descendants of the Glorious Dead” meeting had never seen so many people. Everybody was there. The sheriff, Bud Dearborne, wearing his uniform for some reason. Tara and Jason. Sam Merlotte, who hated Bill, though not so much because he was a vampire but rather because he had a crush on Sookie himself. Arlene, Sookie’s colleague and vampire hater, who had come with René and her two children who had begged her to take them. All the seats of the church were taken. But they were less interested in what he had to say about the Civil War and more about the vampire himself.

Brooklynne was cursed to hear every single one of their thoughts, one more stupid than the other. But she managed to hear what the vampire was saying, despite Sam’s angry thoughts provoked by the mere sight of the vampire, and other dirty images that showed up in his mind about her sister.

The meeting went rather well and even made the crowd wet their eyes. It was a miracle that between a Jason high on V, three stupid high school drop outs armed with garlic, and several vampire haters sitting on every bench, nothing wrong had occurred.

Most of the town headed out to Merlotte’s after the meeting. Bill and Sookie, however, felt like having some alone time together. Adele agreed to let Brooke go to the bar after Sam promised to watch over her. He let her bartend with Tara who taught her how to make some drinks but didn’t let her drink them. She got tired around 2AM however and Sam drove her back. The lights were out which Sam found odd. He was sure Adele would be waiting for her granddaughter.

“Looks like everybody’s sleeping.”

“No, nobody’s home…” she said quietly, more surprised than him. Adele would be at home at this hour. Unless an emergency had forced her to leave. But if that had happened, she’s have called to warn Sam about it.

“How do you know?”

Brooklynne didn’t answer and got out of the car. Sam followed her inside the house. The floor was slippery, and she almost fell as she stepped inside the kitchen. Sam turned on the lights and they were suddenly faced with horror. Blood everywhere. A pool of red liquid surrounding Adele Stackhouse’s dead body. Brooklynne’s mind suddenly became blank. All she could hear was a loud buzzing sound, all she could see was her dead grandmother lying in a pool of her own blood. The buzzing sound turned into a loud shriek. A terrified scream that she didn’t understand was coming from her.

**********

Tags: @thepoet1975 @nerdysandwichqueen @catchmeupimgettingoutofhere @raegan-hale @colie87

#true blood #fanfiction #fanfic #oc #eric northman #eric x oc #eric northman x oc #sookie stackhouse #jason stackhouse #bill compton #reader #imagine #series

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tonystarkbingo · 4 years

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Tony Stark Bingo Prompt Meme

So, we did another Prompt Meme game, and came up with these summaries based on a three-tag prompt. This is an open prompt, if any of these summaries look like fun to you, please feel free to write them!! Tag us or the writer of the prompt when you do so we can all see how cool you are and what you’ve given us for the promot

@summerpipedream - Winteriron - All Tony wanted to do after finishing up at MIT was to pack up his desk at Stark Industries and quietly fade into obscurity. Sure money was tight, but he never expected Jan to actually sign him up for one of those social media reality shows. Now, he was stuck in a house, with no phone, no internet, or access to the outside world, trying to avoid the sexy Bucky Barnes, who's mission in life seemed to be to never wear a shirt around him.

@darthbloodorange - The world is ending, an alien race has all but taken over the world, it is an apocalypse of devastating proportions, most of the world is dead. The Avengers, those who are left, have retreated to a bunker built a fourth of the way down into the Earth’s core. Tony and Steve have been growing closer, when they are not working together to find a way to fight back against the aliens, they are fuck buddies. Tony’s a genius, he knows the odd of surviving this are not in their favour. Odds were that they were going to die… and well, Tony doesn’t want to die without letting Steve know how he feels. Before the battle Tony corners Steve in the armoury and confesses that he loves him. Steve is aromatic, has been since project rebirth. They are both so very sorry.

@newnewyorker93 - After a series of strange killings where the victims are found set up kneeling like they're praying, Tony Stark (a private detective) is on the case. An initial (false) suspect is the local priest, Matt Murdoch, who ends up being a helpful ally in solving the case (and possibly more)

@27dragons - Winteriron: You'd think that Tony Stark would have learned to ski when he was growing up. You'd think wrong; Howard never saw the point in it. So here he is, almost done with his PhD, and his friends have decided on a spring break trip to go skiing. He doesn't want to admit to them that he doesn't know how, so their first night at the lodge, he offers one of the ski instructors a large sum of money to sneak him up onto the slopes for a few lessons that night. Against his better judgment -- but desperately needing the cash -- Ski instructor Bucky Barnes takes Tony up on the slopes. Unfortunately, just as Tony's starting to get the hang of things, it starts snowing. Hard. Even more unfortunately, the newfallen snow disguises a patch of ice and Tony tumbles out of control. By the time Bucky catches up to him and verifies that he's not badly hurt, the snow is coming down too hard to see the lodge -- so what else are they to do but seek shelter in a caretaker's cabin conveniently (TM) nearby and wait for morning...?

@gavilansblog - Tony is kidnapped as part of an Evil Plot (TM). He's handling things just fine, tyvm, until his would-be rescuer (who he's been pining for, obviously), gets dragged in and handcuffed back to back with him. Seriously, dude? If you insist on breaking the kidnapping procedure at least actually rescue me! The taxes come in when the Evil Plot Master does his monologue and reveals that the kidnapping is part of a Villain Logic scheme to get Stark Industries to throw money behind the campaign to get a new law requiring actually taxing billionaires to fail. Evil Plot Master is, naturally, a billionaire. Tony would facepalm if he weren't handcuffed to his idiot rescuer, seriously. And then the kidnapping protocol kicks in and Jarvis shuts the whole facility down only instead of being handcuffed by himself Tony is now handcuffed to his rescuer so they have to do the whole escaping part of the plan while handcuffed together, resulting is the standard Tension (TM) moments and possibly an almost-kiss.

Fey Relay - Bruce, Tony, and Peter, resident science geeks, get de-aged and really want to play in the lab. You know, the one that has lots of things that can kill them in it? But they're still sort of mentally in there, just cranky and smol. So they get assigned their own Non-Science Adults who they hand-hold and point to do their sciency bidding. Thor, Steve, and Natasha oblige them and have great fun!

@rise-up-ting-ting-like-glitter Dragons were real. Okay they were actually just souped-up dinosaurs, but that didn’t mean Tony wasn’t being hunted—with intent—by lizards. He hadn’t wanted to come to this stupid Island in the first place. SI funding had explicitly been removed from the crackpot idea to return dinosaurs to the food chain. He could have told everyone that this was going to happen. Instead he was climbing through a jungle with a one-armed man who refused to give his name and if they didn’t get to the raptor enclave, retrieve the anti-venom, and return in time, people Tony loved were going to die.

His guide had better live up to his scruffy wild-man appearance or Tony was going to lose everything.

@somesortofitalianroast - Nurse Bucky Barnes wasn’t sure what exactly was going on. The vigilante known as Nomad had just crashed through the (luckily) open fire escape window. While he was lucky not to have any broken bones, he was unlucky enough to have a bad concussion. A really bad one. One that meant he couldn’t fall asleep. Also unfortunately, he only had the one bed and the enormous Nomad wouldn’t fit on his couch, so they’d have to share. It was only after he helped Nomad into his bed that he noticed the blood, and, unthinking, he pulled the cowl off to check for another, serious injury. And gasped. Nomad was Steve Rogers, his best friend in school, who’d died in an IED attack in Iraq 5 years earlier.

@polizwrites Natasha Romanov and Virginia Potts are the proprietors of Chaykus - a Russian tea room on the seedy side of town. Its new mission is to be a sanctuary for women who have been smuggled into the country for sex trafficking purposes. As for the men who engage in such practices? Well, they are quickly discovering that their days are numbered.

@dixiehellcat - Pepper is the manager of the heavy metal band War Machine. James Rhodes, lead guitarist and founder of the band, is looking for a new lead singer. He did not expect the woo-loving Virginia to get horoscopes cast for the applicants and decide based on that. He just wants somebody who can sing, dammit. This Stark kid is uncomfortably attractive, yeah, but he's been thrown out of two bands already. what? the shower sex? it was only that one time after a show, and they were both wasted...

@dracusfyre Tony was born without a soul mark. Bucky's was lost forever when Hydra took his arm. Without the universe to give you a hint that this person is The One, falling in love is gambling with your heart. But soulmates don't have to be born, they can be made - and Bucky and Tony decide that the same should be true of soul marks, as well

@ceealaina Tony was like nerd prime growing up. Normally he doesn’t let it bother him too much — he’s got inventions to invent, after all. But all of a sudden he realizes that he’s almost 20, he’s got two degrees under his belt, and has no idea how to do much more than kiss. He’s not entirely sure how he manages to convince Rhodey to sleep with him to “get it out of the way,” or how he manages to convince him to keep sleeping with him to “help improve my technique,” but it’s the best sex of his life (not that he has much to compare it to) and he never wants it to end. But it’s the night when they’re watching movies, and Tony’s ends up dozing against Rhodey’s shoulder only to wake up to a feather light kiss against his forehead that he realizes he might be in trouble.

@thudworm - King Anthony considers it part of his royal duties to protect his people by going out and taking care of any monsters harassing them. Of course, no one can know that the knight Iron Man is really the king, which leads to some fun assumptions about Iron Man’s identity.

@jacarandabanyan Tony’s mom forbid him to purposefully drive out his roommates so that he can have a room all to himself where he can tinker until morning light. She had to hear about it from friends, acquaintances, and other well-known socialites often enough when Tony went to boarding school and ran his roommates off there. Now that he’s in college, that behavior must stop. Luckily for Tony, he doesn’t even have to try to get the first two roommates at MIT to request a room switch. But then he meets his third roommate- a tall, handsome, funny man named James Rhodes. At first it was just natural joy at having a fellow competent engineer to hang out with, and perhaps the occasional dirty thought. But his crush on the man quickly grows. Before he knows it, Tony’s pining hard for his best friend. Every once in a while he thinks Rhodey might be interested too- but then he hears Rhodey lecturing a computer science senior for plying Tony with :beer: alcohol at a party because “come on, man, kid’s only 16. Have a little class and try chasing skirts a little closer to your age.” After that, he’s convinced Rhodey will only ever see him as a friend and a kid.

psychiccatpanda - Tony works hard and puts in long hours. So what if some of his long nights turn into very early mornings at CHew 2 OH. The only drawback is his business partner and head baker, Steve, with his disappointed looks and his continual arguing. When Steve's friend Bucky starts hanging around the shop, though, Tony notices. Oh lord, he notices. A month or so later, one night when he and Steve are working after hours at Steve's place to plan their seasonal menu, Steve tells him that he's noticed him checking out Bucky. Tony hits him with a decorative pillow and things kind of get out of hand. Surveying the damage (let's face it - Steve's coffee table was never going to be quite right again), Steve turns to him, "I was just going to suggest you get some practice kissing before asking him out." Oh. Oh...

@tisfan So... the problem with being a necromancer is being able to practice one's skill. The local cemeteries won't even let you look at a dead body if you're not a relative. Tony Stark, budding necromancer, forges a marriage certificate for the John Doe so that he can practice his craft. Only to find that it works perfectly. Bucky is No Longer Dead, and 100% interested in staying married...

@abrighterdarkness He didn’t mean to snoop. He knew that wasn’t what he was being paid for here--the loud laughter of the party echoing from down the hall where he was actually supposed to be, was clear enough reminder of that fact. All Tony wanted was two short minutes to breathe without being pawed at--yes, yes, that might be his job but breathing room was much appreciated just the same--and now he was stuck in this closet sized bathroom with what sounded like a mob-hit being discuss right outside the door. He knew he should’ve turned this job down.

magica - Howard Stark had an idea. Some people - alright, most people, stop hitting me, Maria! - would say it was a terrible idea. But it was only a little injection of stuff based on that strange glowing blue cube they'd found in the Arctic. And Tony was absolutely willing, let's get that straight, Maria! How was Howard supposed to know that it'd enable Tony to open up his own portals? And if some mystical green energy happened to swamp Tony just as he was opening a portal to Egypt? Well, that wasn't his fault. The dark-haired, well-built Priest of Anubis that Tony manages to bring back with him? That is not his fault either, damn it, Maria!

@festiveferret - Tony could say with absolute confidence - at least, if he could say anything at all in his current predicament - that this was not the way his PR rep, Pepper, would have wanted him to come out. There were, he figured, several hundred ways that the day could have gone better, but if asked to rank the top three, he'd put them thusly:

1) That he decided to come out by having a wild, unabashed make out session with none other than Captain America, in the middle of a busy New York street.

2) That it was, in fact, the morning after their first "date" - a term he was applying loosely here - and not a tasteful reveal of a long-standing, safe, secure, adult relationship.

And 3) That at some point between the first floor lobby of his apartment building and the front door off his penthouse suite he'd suddenly, unexpectedly, and so-far permanently been turned into a ferret and no one knew.

It would also probably concern her to discover that of all these rather bewildering turns in his life, the one at the forefront of his mind was that ferrets couldn't send morning-after texts, and he didn't want Steve to think their little dalliance had been nothing more than an - albeit unfortunately public - one night stand.

Of one thing he was sure, however: Pepper was going to need a raise.

#tonystarkbingo2020 #bingo party #prompt meme

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timeclonemike · 4 years

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The War of the Words, Part 5: Counterstrike

Previous installments of this essay have repeated the point that the tactics used by nazis, terfs, and other varieties of bigot are those adopted by a force with a numerical and strategic disadvantage when facing a larger and stronger opponent, among other things. This may have given the impression that these types will eventually just die out. While I believe that this is true in the long term, it is demonstrably true that they can still do considerable damage in the short term, so this is unfortunately not the kind of problem that will solve itself. Action must be taken to undermine them at every possible juncture. This is especially true given that the current, semi-covert “secret agent” / muddy-the-waters approach was adopted because previous open displays of aggression were not getting the results they wanted. It is entirely possible that a shift in strategy will occur again and allow them to make more headway than they presently are.

Any given strategy employed by the nazis and terfs and racists has one or more potential counter-strategies, but simply waiting to recognize a specific type of propaganda or psychological manipulation or social engineering method puts everyone else on the defensive - by the time the problem is recognized and understood, it has already been effective for some time and may allow for a certain amount of momentum. Also, rapidly shifting strategies can lead to the defensive side lagging behind or being overwhelmed, which is one of the potential advantages of the “increase the signal to noise ratio when it comes to dog whistles” approach mentioned previously.

Therefore, as the old saying goes, the best defense is a good offense. The best chances of combating these ideologies involves going after them directly, rather than trying to play damage control after the fact (although that is also important.) And to do this most effectively requires a certain level of understanding of the psychology (and pathology) of the kinds of minds that are most amenable to fascism and radical exclusionism and racism.

The most important point worth considering is what I have taken to calling the Fascism Paradox. Fascism derives its name from the Fasces, a symbol that was adopted during the days of the Roman Empire and then appropriated by authoritarian political movements in the early twentieth century. It consists of a bundle of rods tied together, incorporating a handle and axe head, and the symbolism is pretty straightforward; a single stick might break, but a bundle of them together is much more robust. The obvious idea behind it is that many people united in a single cause and goal can accomplish what an individual cannot, which is why it was adopted by so many governmental offices and magistrates before the early twentieth century.

The titular paradox is that the Fasces symbolizes strength despite being an admission of weakness. The whole point of tying the rods together is because an individual rod is inadequate to the task at hand. Likewise, most authoritarian displays of power revolve around numbers; large military parades, massive rally crowds, mobs of angry young men wearing polo shirts and carrying lawn torches. The power of symbolism, and the attraction they hold, is a door that swings both ways; those who are attracted to the idea of fascism are those who are individually weak, and can only achieve strength and power by proxy, as part of a larger group.

Given that knowledge, the obvious counter is to strip away the protections of the group itself. After the Unite the Right rally, quite a large number of participants were identified by photographic evidence where they did nothing to conceal their identities, and the social consequences were considerable. These individual people were not part of a larger, dangerous force; they were people with names and addresses and once people could pair them with the faces in the photographs, it was basically open season. This technically wasn’t even doxxing; nobody can realistically make a claim to privacy when they are in a public space, much less when they are deliberately drawing attention to themselves. (The lessons learned from this are implicit in the “secret police” tactics used by unidentified federal agents in Portland as of this writing.)

If this sounds like a roundabout way of saying “Divide And Conquer”, it’s because there’s another element to the paradox. A bundle of sticks may be stronger than any individual stick, but the strength of said bundle is still limited by the strength of the individual sticks. For an object lesson in why this is important, compare breaking a single uncooked spaghetti noodle with an entire package of uncooked spaghetti. The whole package technically puts up more resistance, but the difference is marginal in comparison to the forces involved. So it is with fascism and the people who are enticed by it; because their attraction to the group and the cause is motivated (subconsciously or not) by an attempt to mitigate personal weaknesses, the group itself inherits all off these weaknesses. This is especially true when it comes to the subject of morale and courage under fire; each individual in the group is relying on the group as a whole, and they take their cues from each other, so as soon as one person falters everyone around them starts to hold back. The result is a chain reaction of hesitation and lost momentum. (This can be seen in real time when watching videos of right wing protests fighting with counter-protest groups, and can also be seen in recordings of police and riot cops against protestors when a charge doesn’t immediately turn into a rout.)

This paradox also comes into play with another peculiar psychological characteristic: Being disgusted or enraged by compassion. Compassion directed towards weakness can serve as a reminder of said weakness, or an admission, or symbolize a loss or negation of strength; the human mind is very complex and this can get rationalized and justified many different ways, but it all comes back to a central idea; that they can’t or don’t have what they want more than anything. This is another reason why these groups turn on each other at the drop of a hat, because displaying compassion for, or receiving compassion from another, is an insult in a culture where strength is prized: “I’m helping you because you’re weak and you need my help / pity / support.”

(In a world, and especially a year, where the hits keep coming and they don’t stop coming like some sort of Fae contract involving a Smash Mouth song, this attitude is even less healthy than it normally is.)

The sense of personal weakness at the heart of the paradox can take multiple forms, not just physical strength. Financial stability, social leverage, political authority, health and wellness, even good looks can all qualify. What matters is it’s something that a person wants and does not have. This by itself is the origin of most conspiracy theories; some other nation or ethnic group or political party is hoarding or stealing all the food or medicine or political power, and if they weren’t, things would be different. The conspiracy theory angle is so complicated it requires its own essay to explore in full, so for the purposes of brevity and clarity we will leave that unaddressed for now; all we need to focus on is the idea that these people want something that they can’t have. The “can’t have” part especially plays into the idea of radicalization and recruitment. Somebody who wants to be physically strong can work out and get swole, and can measure their progress over time in terms of sets and reps. As a matter of fact, they have to in order to determine what exercises are working for them. How much they can lift and for how long and with what body parts will vary greatly depending on factors like genetics, environment, childhood and adult nutrition, but what matters is that it can be quantified and measured and progress can be seen.

But fascists, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say, fascism-susceptible people, are in a different situation. As much as they glorify, praise, and fetishize strength and power, what really drives them is their weakness. No matter how ripped they may be and how much they can bench, it’s never enough; they will always be afraid and insecure and there is always the possibility, if not the certainty, of somebody stronger. It’s the difference between wanting to be strong and wanting to not be weak. This also applies to knowledge, to social acumen, to power and influence. So long as they are unable or unwilling to confront the root cause of what drives them - to admit their weakness in whatever form they find intolerable - they can’t come to terms with it psychologically, never mind take action to correct it practically.

This leads directly to the next strategy for dealing with fascists; mockery and ridicule. The insecurity and weakness that drives fascism is bone deep and borders on the universal, and this is why so many alt-right insults are disparaging terms referring to a perceived lack of strength or fortitude or power. Trying to use those specific terms against them is about as effective as children on a playground going “I’m rubber, you’re glue” but individual insults and derogatory remarks are not what’s important; the underlying insecurity is. Simply not treating them with the deference and respect they desire is itself a potent starting point, and from there any number of comedic possibilities present themselves. Autocratic and authoritarian regimes are notorious about cracking down on dissent for this reason even more than an attempt to keep the citizenry from being agitated; just look at Vladimir Putin’s heavy handed retaliation against Russia’s internet access when somebody photoshopped heavy makeup onto his face. Wannabe dictators with no power can’t remove the object of their ridicule and it eats them alive from the inside out.

The final aspect of this counter attack strategy has to do with enemy morale and opposition. As stated in previous parts of the essay, a number of fascists and crypto-fascists abandoned the cause and ideology when they decided it was less stressful to stop being one. In other words, leave the door open for somebody to switch sides. Consider an analogy where Fascism is an island; some people will burn all their bridges in pursuit of the ideology, but others might not; if other people burn those bridges, the result is the same and they end up trapped on Fascism Island anyway, so they have nothing to lose by doubling down. A number of people on and off Tumblr have discussed this topic and the problems with what is called “essentialist” thinking long before this essay was written; there is a nearly decade old TED Talk by a DJ called Jay Smooth who suggested we start thinking of bias and prejudice the same way we think about hygiene like brushing our teeth, that prejudice is something people do as opposed to an inescapable part of their character.

It’s worth keeping in mind that this may be interpreted as weakness by the fascist or fascists in question and this may prompt them to redouble their attacks or attempt to “play” the person giving them an out in order to get information or undermine their confidence or even try to recruit them into the fascist cause; it’s also worth keeping in mind that it is impractical and unrealistic to expect everyone to adopt this approach. Some people have lost too much personally, and some people are too close to the ideological or physical front lines to even consider letting their guard down. Not everyone can be Reverend Wade Watts.

#The War of the Words #On the Shoulders of Windmills

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darthravage · 5 years

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Why and how does Watcher X help Cipher Nine?

When you meet Watcher X at the Shadow Town which is basically like a open prison you know about him that he feels traited by the Empire. That makes it astonishing that he helps you without any promblems (except the paranoia which caused that he was sent there). It isn’t that astonishing anymore when you find out that he has to do it since he is tortured with headaches when he dosn’t serve the Empire. But you get out by own experience that he is very inteligent when he uses your mission to escape from the Shadow Town. After that you can choose if you want to help him or kill him. In both cases he is helping you later on when the Republic uses the IX serum against you. (Question in passing why did I need almost two month to find out that IX ist the Latin number for nine what relates to your Charakter?) Since you don’t get a final answer in game I made some theories myself.

First I want to get out how he was able to help you what you can basically seperate into three points.

The first one is that he gets acess to your mind due to the poison and/or implants he gave you when he worked with you on Nar Shadaa. But there is the question why he has done it. If you think you can beliefe him that far he hasn’t had the plan to escape in the beginning of your mission but later on when he saw you work. So it were the implants for sure maybe in a mixture with the poison he gave you in the beginning of the quest. If this is the truth why has he done it? I can’t believe that he has done it in a good porpuse since he is too cold and calculating therfore so I think he wanted to have an advantage by doing it so that he can defeat you only with the power of your own thoughts. But there is still the oportunity that I think too bad about him. Since he informed you about his escape instead of just hiding from you he must have thought that you aren’t a normal agent and he has experienced himself what happens to people who work for Imperial Inteligence and aren’t like just obeying and nothing else. And that he acts perspicacious is obvious. (That can only be true when Cipher 9 left Watcher X alive because I don’t see how somebody without a body could use such a technique.) And I ask myself why Watcher X didn’t use this technique when I fought against him since it would have saved his life.

The second posibility is that Watcher X became something like a force ghost due to the experiments they did with him. This had enabled him to talk to Cipher nine freely without being concerned about the conditioning. But that seems unlikely since actually only stron force users can become force ghosts and Watcher X wasn’t capeble of using the force. If he were others would have noticed it or he had used it in the fight agains Cipher nine since it was clear that only one of them will leave the place and using the force would have made it easyer for Watcher X to be that one.

The third and in my eyes most likely case when you killed Watcher X is that he is only a delusion and the Agent goes mad. In addition to be more realistic compared to being a force ghost it might have logical reasons. First, you can say that Cipher Nine was stressed due to the occurences which hapened and the fact that he wasn’t able to ask anyone for helf even if he wanted to do it. This kind of inner tension makes it more likely to get delusions. More over, Cipher Nine is enabled to empathize with Watcher Nine. When you killed him than because he knew to much and was a potential danger who got tortured by headaches when he didn’t obey. Now you are almost in the same situation. You know a lot of things which the Republic, which only needs one word to get it from you, isn’t supposed to know. And you are in the situation since the Sith and the minister for Imperial Inteligence distrusted you for helping them and risking your life for them. That is also similar to the story of Watcher X when you regard Operation: Undertow in witch Watcher X fought for the Empire and got punished because of paranoia witch is the responsibility of those who did the genetic experimens. All that causes that Cipher Nine can empathize to Watcher X and maybe has bad conscience about his deed. And together that can cause that Cipher Nine almost becomes crazy and he hasn’t somebody to talk since he can’t tell about his situation even if he wanted since the conditioning makes him say something else when he tries to tell the truth. When you become mad you automatically remember Watcher X since he was mad either and Watcher X was high analytic minded and not loyal to the Empire so you could’n have had a better help for getting yourself free. In addition to that imagine Watcher X gives you the feeling that you don’t have to do anything on your own what can be a great relief either. When you dind’t kill Watcher X leave the part where I’m talking about killing him away the rest will fit in both cases)

But why should Watcher X help you?

The answer can be splitted in why he helped you when you let him alive and why when you kill him (without the dellusion theorie which is already explained).

Let’s start with the theorie that you let him alive.

I think it’s basically a practical thing when you let him alive because Watcher X observed how Cipher Nine fights and dosn’t wat to get into conflict with him for saving his own life. Additional to that he can get a ally against Imperial Inteligence which betrayed both of you. When he keeps his promises now and you are betrayed by Imperial Inteligence you are more likely to help him in secret and it is a very easy chance for him. And I don’t know if you can say it about him but he knows how it feel to be traited what possibile makes him honest when he promises something (except he only promises for building a trap by it). Finally it could be that he is seeking some ways to get his own conditioning away and hopes to find something when he helps you (I mean he can transmit the princip he used for getting rid of your conditioning to get rid of his conditioning)

When you killed him there is still the thing with seeking rvenge in Imperial Inteligence what was only your job since he isn’t able to act. More over, it could be possibile that you almost did him a favour by killing him. I mean like what could he do? He had headaches as soon as he acts against the Empire and it was unlikely that he could get rid of the conditioning of his own.

The intersting and almost ironic thing is that, when Watcher X is really there, he is the only one who can at least almost fulfill his aims. Imperial Inteligence gets abolished what causes that he gets his revenge for what they did to him (be honest I don’t think that the Dark Cauncil is frindly to the former members of the secret service) and since there isn’t like a person who watches what he is doing he can get rid of his conditioning. More over, the only one who works as a kind of Secret Service is one of his allys. And since Cipher Nine didn’t obey when he let Watcher X alive the former Watcher controls the situation. What he also does by being the only one who knows that Cipher Nine got rid of the IX serum (except the minister for Imperial Inteligence if he is still alive). (The part which is written cursive is only important when you let Watcher X alive).

Thinking further

When I looked for inspiration I found a topic in a internet forum a tread which told that the Imperial Agend acutally died when he fought against Darth Jadus. Even though I dont think so it’s an interesting story which would explain a lot of the things which aren’t explained in the game. Like why didn’t i notice that I’ve got the IX serum, how can a young member of the Imperial Intelligence stop one of the most important and powerfull Sith Lords for a while? And it is an additional explanation how I was able to see Watcher X. When we both are dead he musn’t do any efforts to get into the real world and he dosn’t need any power. Another thing which could be used to agree to that theorie is that Lord Alaric (?) tells at the temple of the Sark side that some people don’t notice that they are dead when they die in a trap or someting like that (and Ciffer Nine was the only one on Jadus ship. That agents have no value in the end is something that I musn’t explain...) But there are also things which speak against the theorie. First of all you get to know people who you never could haver have heard of like Hunter and why would you imagine that? More over, nobody could have described Voss to you and you are there. And when you play as a Sith you have to find out conspiracies which are supposed to known by Imperial Inteligece what shows that they to either a rather bad job or they don’t exist anymore. But the first thing would lead to the second thing since nobody needs a organisation which works that bad, especially when war goes on. (Except in one old religion where the number nine stands fror trancendence it has no meaning which has to do with things like dead and that was interpreted too far)

Nevertheless, the story of the Agent contains a lot of things where you never get an answer for. For example Hunter tells you that you are the only one left who is like the star cabal but why? More over, Hunter asks in one part of the game if Cipher Nine could remember the code word which was given to him by Watcher X but it dosn’t appear in the game anymore what leads to the question if it was only a try to frighten Cipher Nine or if it had a deeper meaning. And it was interesting to know what happened to the other people of Imperial Intelligence (although I believe they are dead or soldiers what means basically the same at least after a few time).

I hope this text dosn’t contain that much misstakes but in the end i had problems by focusing me and I never needed complex English for around a half year. So if you’ve got problems with understanding something or you notice misstakes in my spelling or grammar I was greatfull if you would tell it :)

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muddyhippo · 4 years

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Blog Post- March 30, 2020

My anxiety level, surprisingly steady the past few weeks, has been progressively rising over the past few days and it hit a high yesterday. My parents came to visit me, from a safe distance of course, to bring me the sacrament. I get the text from my mom that they are here and I immediately can’t breathe. I am fighting back tears as I open the door to my deck to see them. I have been self-isolating since March 8th. The last time I have been in the same room with more than two people was March 7th. So, a bit longer than the general public has been social distancing. It’s evidently getting to me as the number of cases continue to rise with no end or answers in sight. But I don’t want to worry my parents who are already concerned about me being alone in my apartment without anyone to help me if I need it, but it feels like the safest place for me to be right now. I don’t want to be around people, or virus carriers as I’m now beginning to call them. I’d rather hide away until this is over. Agoraphobics unite… or don’t as the definition implies. Especially knowing the gamble I take as a disabled person of getting a chance at recovery should I get it. None. Because I am considered expendable. I’m not worth saving, according to recently published reports of hospitals having policy and procedure in place to avoid having to argue over whether I’m someone whose life might mean something. As I attempt to fight the thought racing through my mind, I shut the door as my parents leave and immediately break down into sobbing. I rush directly to the sink to wash my hands for the next 5 minutes straight while I cry and wish that I could feel safe again. Go out again. Hug my parents again. But I’m trapped. With my thoughts. With my fear. With my soap and my baby wipes and my distractions. I sit here with my thoughts and they consume me. And I have no other choice but to do what needs to be done with thoughts... share them in the hope that it helps someone who is feeling as I am. Hopeless...helpless. The only way I know how to work through times like this where my anxiety makes my fear seemingly insurmountable is to face it head on, think it through, name it and find meaning in it. AND Fight. FIGHT THE FEAR. Find the faith. Learn the lesson. Because there is no rhyme or reason to any of it. The last time this happened, when the panic set in, I was alone. Like now. It was nighttime and I was in bed and heard a noise outside. Immediately. Murderer. Death. No one was home. I was all by myself in my parents’ huge house and who would hear me scream? Where is my phone? What kind of weapon could I grab? It was nothing, but it could be anything. That’s how anxiety works. It is almost always nothing, but in the moment it is everything you have ever feared coming at you and it’s going to get you. I try to breathe and it doesn’t help. I feel the sobs coming. I sit up in bed and grab my phone. Call 911? No, for what? A noise? Laughable. Surely they would think I’m crazy. My first thought is that I am. But what does a crazy person do when the crazy gets to them? I decide to search the web for what to do. Surely somebody in the void feels or has felt this way. What do they suggest? Connection. That makes me feel slightly better. Articles and advice on how to calm thoughts in the middle of the night. Irrational thoughts. That word rubs me the wrong way but it’s true. Think of some place safe. Ok, helps for a minute. Think of someone that has overcome fear and think about how they did it and copy them. Ok, thinking, thinking… Is this actually going to work or is this just the internet’s way of getting my mind off the noise. Whatever, it’s working. Thinking… Matt Damon! Huh? Yes, Matt Damon! The Martian! I love that movie! Is this my adult onset ADHD or am I just in real need of a man right now??? And if I am that hard up for a man, why Matt Damon? Everybody knows I’m in love with Robert Pattinson. What is going on right now? Distracted by Rob for a second… Ok back to The Martian. Why did this movie suddenly pop into my head at a time like this? I think about it for a minute and the reason materializes. Movies are my distraction. Always have been. They are my escape. My coping mechanism. Well, one of them at least. Anyone that knows me knows I am a pop culture buff. I know everything about music and movies. I consider actors and singers my family. I know them. I love them. I dream of meeting them. They give me comfort in their storytelling. So it’s only natural that I thought of a movie in my time of need. But, The Martian? It’s a good movie, but not one of my all-time favorites or anything. Then it hit me. In the movie, he is trapped, alone, scared, and helpless on a distant planet for about a year and a half. He survives by using what he knows to save his life. He uses his brain. He lives. I am not Matt Damon alone on a planet but I might as well have been at that moment in my bedroom. So, I resolve that if he can make it a year and a half with all of the trials he went through during that time, then surely I can make it through one night alone. I lie down, eventually fall asleep and in the morning I wake. Having that image in my head helps me and I keep it with me in times of anxiety as a tool to help me to think through to my rational self and confront the problem. But, this time is different. I need another tool. A different one. A bigger one. This is not one night alone. This is more than a noise outside my bedroom window. This is a biological weapon. We can’t lock this out of our house. We are in the midst of a viral execution order... some of us will live and some of us will die. Covid-19 is holding the gun and it doesn’t discriminate. Doctors, lawyers, homeless, famous, rich, poor, black, white, disabled, abled, old, young…it does not play favorites. It doesn’t care what you have going for you. It doesn’t matter what you have left to do. It will take you out. We are all standing in line with blindfolds on waiting... hearing the shots ring out as this virus takes the ones we love and all we can do is stand there and pray it won’t take us too as the shots get closer and closer...We don’t know how long we have until it gets to us... and it will get to us. All we can do as we stand there is pray and try to think of ways to stop it, to outsmart it, to reason with it, to keep it from choosing us. But there is no reasoning with something that has no rhyme or reason. There is no bargaining with the wolf at our door. There is no way to make it stop before it gets to us. We are not the anecdote, we don’t have the vaccine, we don’t know the cure. Even if we do find it, we might not get it in time. There might not be enough left. We might not get the last bulletproof vest. We might not be able to wrangle the gun away in time. So what then, what do we do? We have to do something, right? We can’t just sit here, scared to death. If there is no rhyme or reason, then who is to blame? Is assigning fault going to fix anything? No. History has shown us that this kind of thing has happened before and will happen again. So what then? Wait it out? Hope for the best? Try to follow the guidelines and all of the medical professionals’ advice and warnings? Doing that already… not making the situation better even though it is the safest approach. So what is the answer? How do I resolve to endure this? This is not a movie. This is not even irrational thought. It is here. The threat is real. And it’s not going away just because I wake up in the morning. I’ve been locked in this apartment for nearly a month. Am I supposed to just have faith? Is that it? I imagine lots of people that have died from this virus had faith as well, so that really doesn’t do it for me. Even as a Christian, I just can’t wrap my brain around praying it won’t get me, because it might. Even if I pray. Even if I’m good. Even if I do all the things, it still might. I think it is ok to admit that. I think as Christians we should admit when our faith is not strong enough to keep us from our fears. I think we should reflect on what faith really is in times like this. In my opinion, so many of us don’t have a clue what faith really means. For me, it isn’t the promise that bad things won’t happen. It’s the assurance that God will be there with us when they do. Is that enough? That He will be there. I may get sick. I may die. Or a loved one. Nothing is certain. I don’t know if that’s enough. I don’t know if that is going to give me comfort. I have always said I had a testimony, I have faced so many trials, I know adversity, but life or death makes you reevaluate the foundation of your faith in a very real way. All I do know is this. Even if the gun gets put to my head and the shot goes off, God has a place for me in Heaven. He has never left my side here on Earth. He will always be with me and He is with all of us. Whether we know it or not. Whether we believe it or not. Whether it’s enough or not. That is the only thing I know after all that has happened. That’s not true… I know something else as well. Something else that brings me at least some peace. I know that a better world waits for us on the other side of this. Just the thought of getting this virus and dying from it makes me so angry. Why am I sitting here waiting to get sick? Why would you sacrifice me, God? I have so much to still do. I have been good. I have people that love me. I want to live. Why kill me? Why me? The real question I should be asking is not why me, but why not me? Why shouldn’t this virus shoot me? Why not? What am I doing to make anything better? Sitting here in my beautiful apartment, eating 3+ meals a day, working my master’s degree level job, posting on Facebook every five minutes, living in fear. Everything about this horrible virus has exposed how completely backwards we have become as a people. How far away we have strayed from what is true and what is right. How much we need to love each other again. How we long for that connection. How we have let our hierarchy of difference decide who is better or more worthy of belonging. Through all of this social distancing and self-isolation, one great commandment rings in the ears of every person on this planet louder than any gunshot to LOVE ONE ANOTHER. CHANGE. CONNECT. LIVE FEARLESSLY. CHOOSE HAPPINESS. PEACE. PASSION. Then it dawns on me. The real reason I’m afraid is not because I don’t want to die, it’s because I have yet to really understand what it means to truly live. That is what times like these are for. Not to make us afraid, but to commit to becoming better than we were if we are fortunate enough not to be chosen by this virus. To making the world happier, safer and more peaceful and connected, by our presence in it, not our absence from it. We are alive but absent from life in so many ways. Breathing but not appreciating breath. Looking but not seeing. Moving but not participating. Talking but not communicating. Empty vessels desperately filling time and space with meaningless distraction and effortless action. This is our only chance to live. To pursue our dreams. Combat inequality. Fight for those that don’t know how to fight for themselves. Show a child how to do good. Judge less. Blame less. TALK LESS. Empathize more. Act more. Be compassionate. Strive for greatness. Achieve your goals. Make this world brighter because you are in it. Practice being grateful. Pray more. Pay less. Everyone has a gift. Everyone has talents. Use them. Hug your friends, neighbors, families, strangers when this is all over. Never let a day go by when you did not reach your hand out to someone. They need that friendly touch. We all do. Some, many, won’t make it out of this alive. We owe it to them. They deserve to have died for something. This virus is awful, but it doesn’t have to take away our faith. It doesn’t have to take away our desire to love. Our chance to live. If we don’t let it. Because what I’ve realized going through this is… “if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear (D&C 38:30).” Live your life as if every day was your last and if or when the day comes that you are faced with life or death, you will not have to ask why not me?

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