#I might just redo them all cause I don’t remember who all got one!

[damnedrainbows]

Getting to the rest of them tonight!

Like this for me to send you a small Christmas themed ask! 🎄

[shipsgaysfordays]

Uncertainty Meeting

So, this is chapter 2 of my fic but in Sirius’ POV, honestly I hadn’t remembered some of the batshit crazy things I had written until I was copying them into this chapter and like damn it’s insane

Does include the uncertainty prompt from @wolfstarmicrofic

CW: graphic depiction of violence

Links to other chapters here

Reminder that Remus’ pronouns for this fic are they/them, Sirius’ are ze/zis/zer/zhe/zeir/zey

Also fuck JKR and the rhetoric that she spouts that’s transphobic, homophobic, racist, antisemetic, and if I’m forgetting anything else then I’m deeply sorry

“We need to meet. I need to tell you something, the time is finally right. Meet at our old hang out spot , the one you always hated, I’m sorry but it’s the only one I could trust going to. I’ll wait as long as you need.”

Sirius left the note on the sidewalk, hoping that somehow Remus would find it, they always seem to be on the lookout so they probably would…right? 

Happy that soon zey would finally see zis love again, but still terrified for what would come next, zey trekked back to where it all started. Trains, buses, hikes, all the way to that grungy shack that felt more like home to Sirius than Grimmauld ever did. 

Despite how much simpler things would be to meet up at Mary’s apartment, there was still a fear about how Remus would feel finding out about all of this in Mary’s home, especially with them finding out about Mary and Sirius communicating. They already had trust issues, this would probably destroy any trust left if it isn’t handled correctly. 

And so Sirius waited, going through the plan over and over again with James and Lily. Redoing the silencing spell every once in a while just in case.

“I go down there first and speak with Moony, then once they seem to have calmed down some–you guys come down. Don’t, and I repeat: do NOT come down these stairs unless the man seems at least partially calm. This is an insane situation and I’d rather not terrify Moony.” 

“Yes, yes, we heard you the first 10 times,” James nodded. 

“Where did that impulsive little annoying loud kid go?” Lily questioned. 

“You married him,” Sirius quipped. 

“I think my wife is referring to you, Sirius.”

Zer eyes glazed over for a moment, thinking about where they did go, cold metal bars, shrieking from all around the tower, never being quite aware when zey were the one yelling. This is about Remus, they remembered. 

“I-I just want to do it right for Remus…”

“Yes, we know, give the man some space and some time to come to terms with the truth before bombarding them with it,” James said, the plan was somehow so simple to him by this point. 

They spent some time laying around and waiting. 

“We should have brought cards.”

“Are we even sure they’re coming?”

“Maybe we could finally talk about the other situation–” James started.

All thoughts and conversation was stopped by the sound of the door creaking and stomping shoes on the wood floorboards. The couple turned to face Sirius. 

“Well…I’ve got to….”

“Good luck Sirius,” Lily patted zem on the shoulder. 

James’ arms wrapped tightly around Sirius, “We’ll finally have our Moony back.”

Sirius shook, stepping down, trying not to go too fast or too slow, trying not to fall down the steps. Until making it to the bottom floor. Remus was examining the wood, their back turned on the other side of the room, staring at the spot where years ago Padfoot had watched them transform for the first time. 

“Remus…” Sirius started to say. 

They spun around to face Sirius, swiftly pulling out a knife and pointing it at the other man. 

What. The. Fuck. Unsure of what else to do, Sirius shot zeir hands empty hands into the air, hoping that might make a difference in whatever might happen next. 

“I don’t mean to cause trouble,” ze spat out, trying to sound calm as the love of zeir life is threatening to kill them with a knife because of the deaths of two people who are entirely alive and upstairs. 

“Of course you don’t, you never do, you lying bastard,”as Remus spoke memories of past mistakes filled zer mind, of the prank, of thinking Remus was the spy, of all the thoughts zis head tried to believe and tried to swat away like an annoying fly while in Azkaban, all the you killed them, it’s your fault you’re hear, it’s your fault Remus is alone, all of it swirled like the worst brewed potion made by an idiot or possibly evil first year at Hogwarts. 

Sirius’ eyes were the size of two moons, not a great comparison since that’s also something that brings Remus blinding hot rage. They were closer than the minute before, as Sirius’ mind came back to right here and now, they were moving forward. 

“I just…I-I need to tell you something, but I don’t know how.”

“What, you’re gonna tell me you love me, beg for me to come back to you like we’re 16 again, like things are that simple again,” Remus backed zem into the wall, holding the knife to their neck, why is this hot, why the hell is this hot, this should not be making me blush, this man is ABOUT TO TRY TO MURDER ME…I’m such a dog, but then it started to hit zem, is Remus really going to....

 “James and Lily are dead, and you’re barely even you anymore. Padfoot is gone and dead, Lord Black just needs to join them.” As Remus spoke tears began to appear in Sirius’ eyes, this is what they really think of me? Ze questioned, but no, Mary’s told Sirius well enough that Remus isn’t okay, this isn’t the man who loves me…right? They wouldn’t call me…they wouldn’t call me Lord Black, not as anything other than a stupid joke.

Are they really about to–Sirius stared, the blade next to zis neck…is this it? I should have had my wand, I should have explained better, I should–

Sirius glanced up for a moment, and then stared, right behind Remus there he was: James Potter in all his savior complex glory, pointing his shaking wand out. Lily next to him, trembling. Sirius’ eyes met James as zey felt liquid begin to sprinkle down zeir neck, like small rain before a storm. Despite the fear, still meeting James’ eye, zey almost screamed, “no–”

“Yes,” Remus said in response, moving even closer than before. 

At the same time, James spoke, “Accio knife.”

Small droplets of blood began to trickle down his neck, Remus’ fingers brushing it. Sirius’ heart raced, Remus’ eyes never leaving zem. Staring for an eternity. 

“I–I don’t know what to do…don’t leave,” Remus begged as they started holding onto Sirius, Sirius didn’t know what to do other than hug them back. How did it get to this? How did we get here? Zhe thought as ze stared at James, trying to hold back zeir tears.

“Please, let me explain.”

It took a while for them to respond, until finally there was a quiet, “okay.”

I didn’t think this far…why couldn’t Mary be here? She could say it so much better. 

Sirius took a breath before saying, “I was falsely imprisoned, for a crime I didn’t commit.”

“Why should I believe you?” Because it’s me, because it’s me and you, the stars and moon, Sirius and Remus, the galaxy. Because I love you…and somewhere you have to love me again too, please.

But Sirius knew zey shouldn’t and couldn’t plead to Remus’ emotions, not now, not after, “Just, let me continue…I didn’t commit the crime, no one did.”

“You expect me to believe the Potter’s killed themselves and their child.”

Sirius was about to respond, ze really was, zeir mouth opened and ready to say they didn’t really die, but they saw a few feet away, Lily. No no no, no Lily, they’re NOT READY!

“No, because we never died,” Lily’s voice rang, Merlin Lily……WHY, I guess I couldn’t have said it better.

Remus broke apart from Sirius and turned to stare at the Potters, until their eyes darted back to Sirius, “What are you doing to my brain?” It’s too soon for them, it’s too much. 

“What do you mean, Moony?” Lily spoke softly.

“None of this is real, IT CAN’T BE REAL, I–” they breathed heavily, “this isn’t real, I’m alone surrounded by ghosts by thoughts by everything fucked up in MY MIND.” Remus’ hands ran manically through their hair. Sirius wanted to reach out, to ground them, to help them realize this was real, but then there was the part of zem that was still in shock. The part of them that had blood running down their neck. The part of zem that was honestly terrified of the person next to zem. 

 “Moony, we’re back, please,” James touched their arm. Immediately Remus backed away, quickly into the corner of the room. 

 “No…no, no no no,” Remus shook their head, “no, it can’t be real. I’m alone. I’m alone , I’m sorry I couldn’t fix this before and make things right but you don’t need to….my mind doesn’t need to lie to me.” They fell to the floor, their eyes wide as they trembled. 

“Remus, look at me,” Lily spoke softly, starting to crouch next to them. “Look at me,” she spoke sternly this time.

James moved next to Sirius, both the men hoping that if they couldn’t help Remus then Lily would be able to. Sirius struggled trying to rip a piece of cloth from zis shirt, ze couldn’t focus on it, couldn’t bring zis eyes away from Remus. 

“Look at me,” James whispered, “Just look at me, I know it’s hard, I know it's scary and you want to stare at Moony because you always do, but just look at me for a second.”

Sirius nodded as James helped rip the clothes and apply pressure to the wound. “Hey, we’ve done this before, we’re okay, everything will be alright,” James spoke again. 

Sirius heard Lily speaking to Remus from across the room, “I need you to take a deep breath for me, I know it’s a lot, but it’s real.” 

“Lily I–” James turned to face his wife, so of course Sirius let zer eyes wander back to Remus, breathing like a madman, pulling away from their best mate in a far less friendly game of tug of war, Lily had always had a strong grip so the “game” went on for eternity. 

“GET AWAY FROM ME,” Remus screamed, breaking their hands free and pushing Lily away. 

Moony looked back to Sirius, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry,” they wailed as they ran out the door, into the night.

Can I forgive them? That was the only thought in zeir head as ze stared at the door, holding a bloodstained cloth, an uncertainty with how the hell to move forward.

[sasarasfan]

Cant find any 6th anniversary questions so we’ll settle for redoing 5th anniversary!

Answers under the read more hehe

1. Uhmmm idk 2021 sometime,,, I don’t remember exactly. I got into it because of a post saying happy birthday ichiro and it was on my to watch list for a while before I caved in and watched the anime

2. The artstyle and the eyes of the characters I thought they were really pretty

3. I’m into MILGRAM which cough music project,,, but hypmic was the first one that put me through multimedia hell so thanks to hypmic for that

4. Doppo definitely. I loved him so much in the beginning. Now to a lesser degree, but I’m still obsessed with him. I did not really care about BB, but I liked Saburo. Now I really like Jiro!! And saburo!! I have personal beef with Ichiro. Same with MTC tbh. Samatoki was pretty so yeah. I liked FP and MTR originally, that hasn’t changed

5. Doppo or Gentarou thanks to the anime probably

6. Kuko and Ramuda. I did not really like Kuko, but then I became a changed man after watching multiple lives (I love his VA) uhmhmhmh I did not really like Ramuda in the beginning but now I think he is super silly and I cherish him dearly. On another note, I did not like DotsuHom in the beginning cause I don’t like change and DotsuHom was a division I didn’t know after I finished the anime. Well. Guess who loves DotsuHom now

7. Matenrou and Fling Posse

8. Well Sasara is my favourite character now, and Rosho is a very very close second I don’t even know what happened I was influenced by my twitter mutuals,,,, and then I still adore Doppo and Gentarou, and I have a feeling BAT are gonna start creeping up too

9. Whatever the first rhyme anima song was. Besides that, it might have been BATTLE BATTLE BATTLE

10. Dont stop the party, both Sasara solos, Positive is my life, Rinka (I LOVE Rinka), both jyushi solos, black or white, and hmm too many to name tbh

11. Ah osaka dreamin night, but I also love JACKPOT! And pretty much any DH song they’re all bangers. Uhmmmm every FP song too minus Stella (I have a vendetta against Stella). I also like TDD Legend but I don’t listen to it often

12. I JUST RECENTLY FINISHED TRACK 3 OF THE STAGE ITS OSAKA 24K GOLD OR WHATEVER ITS CALLED JTS SO SILLY I LVOE IT I also love crush your mic but I have to listen to the rest of the songs to give a better opinion on this

13. Still not sure what it means by bonus but I love Hella Awesome Banquet and Naniwa Paradise Sake. I also like HOT GAME and Murder in the House of Magic and idk if it was a bonus or just yeah but once upon a time in shibuya

14. Glory or dust? Division battle anthem? Summit of divisions? Idk they’re all good

15. White and black, JACKPOT!!, Osaka big up, hella awesome banquet, this means war, and GAY although most of these aren’t slept on (minus Jackpot grrr) I think people should listen to them more

16. Uhmmm a bunch of DH songs are my favourite so yeah, but a LOT of them are from Fling Posse, Matenrou, or BAT

17. Rapper hmmm maybe Dice or Doppo they have some good lines, and I think Dice is very,,, very good at what he does

18. Sorry I still don’t pay attention to composers Aha

19. No clue again

20. Black journey, anyways get on the floor, rivals! Jackpot, This means war, maybe Ah osaka dreamin night or Wara osaka, but I think FP is a great introduction to hypmic

21. I play ARB but I can’t get the friend code rn sorry :(

22. IM SO HAPPY FOR THE ROSASA SONG AND I LOVED THE DICEDO STUFF TOO!! I really liked the duets in the block party especially white and black so yeah all my dreams came true already though I do wish for a duet of Samatoki and Doppo.

23. I am the worlds number 1 Samado fanatic. I also love Sasaro, Gendice, Hifudo, fling poly, jirojyushi, poly MTC + doppo, and ichikuu. Any ship with doppo (minus the old or the young characters) are my favourite like I love samasasado and roshdo even though sasasama isn’t really my thing

24. No not really which is kinda surprising

25. Rosho and I would get along well. Hifumi (not host mode), and maybe Jyushi

26. Rosho is one of my highest kins actually. I won’t explain it cause I don’t want to like vent here

27. I HAVE FANARTIST KEYCHAINS!!!!! I HAVE SAMATOKI, ICHIRO, AND DICE!!! I also have ramuda keychain and cat Matenrou keychain too. I have a card of BAT. I have nothing from DH (im going to explode)

28. Mics with Hypmic branding please its not even that weird they just haven’t done it yet

29. Uhmmm I don’t really know with

30. Samado samado samado samado… and also rosasa of course!

31. RIO RIO HES SO CUTE RIO PLEASE MORE RIO LOVE and also I found that Rosho doesn’t get a lot of love either :(( which is really sad cause I love Rosho so much :((((

32. Sasara is just…. He’s so silly, but he’s also serious in a way that I just can’t describe. There’s not much to him or what we know about him actually, but I think he’s an interesting character. And I love Rosho cause he’s so me core (I kin him)

33. Sasara eats floor cookies (real) uhmmm and Doppo occasionally goes to Yokohama to spend time with Samatoki and they go on dates together (jm gojng to explode)

34. I like nemu she is so cute hehe

35. Dotsuitare Hompo because it has Sasara and Rosho in it. Their songs are so so so so so good too!! Their stageplay actors are all so silly :3

36. I don’t really have any for DH :(

37. Someone younger again!! Like I know it wont happen, but someone around Saburos age maybe? And someone who fits between the ages of 35 - 46 cause that’s a really large gap between Jakurai and Hitoya and Rei.

38. YEASSSS!! I FOLLOW A LOT OF THEM ON TWITTER DOT COM!!! And MTC VAs on Instagram

39. Haven’t really watched or heard sorry </3

40. My 12k rosasa fic that I’ve been working on since last year

41. I like the manga! But I think the stageplay is super good too

42. Rosasa break up and get together and fight in manga form, VD form, stageplay form, and anime form

43. Nope no theories

44. Please expand more on Sasara I am begging

45. I infodump about hypmic all the time to my friends I think they’re sick of me

46. DH DH DH DH DH DH DOTSUHOM FOR THE WIN RRRAHHHHH

47. Ichiro says “this truly was our Hypnosis Mic” the screen fades to black. THE END appears in white letters. It is the end of hypmic.

48. It’s the first community I was ever serious about and stuck with for over a year. I’ve met some great people through it and I’m truly happy that I got into it. It also acted like a gateway towards some of my other interests so yeah. It means a lot to me

49. SASARA NURUDE AND ALSO WE HAVE SO MUCH MEDIA LIKE THERES ALWAYS MORE STUFF TO CONSUME IFS KIDN OF INSANE

50. Hiiii future me!! I’ll probably see this in a year or so from now but hey!! I hope you’re doing well! I just got back into hypmic and yeah I’m reliving my greatest moments here. Take care of yourself hehe :3 ps I am the number 1 samado fan and the 10k word sasaro fic is still not finished sighs

Also also I love Rosho okay bye love you I hope you still love hypmic by the time you’re reading this again!!

[lostdreamr-blog1]

Nightmare of a Roommate

Requested: Nope

Pairings: Jake Seresin x Reader

Word count: 3k

Summary: When you are forced to share an apartment with the notorious Bagman, life seems to be harder than it should be. But what difference does a few weeks together make?

Warnings: mild swearing, mentions of death, the usual fluff

A/N: Two posts in one week?! I had this idea come to me today and knew I needed to get it out! I love to hear all your thoughts and comments! As always, my inbox is open to you!

Part 2

Top Gun was currently redoing their dorms which meant the group of aviators who were called back were placed in apartments close to the base. Normally it wouldn’t have been a huge deal, but the number of vacant units caused a slight issue. Everyone had to pair up. The higher ups figured the best way to do it was for everyone to draw a number that way no one can complain about how it was done. Or at least not blame them for who their roommate would be for the next few weeks.

You each took a turn drawing a paper out of the hat and you pulled out the number 4. You smiled to yourself because that number had been your lucky number for as long as you could remember.

That was until a southern voice called out, “Which lucky person got the other number 4?”

You cringed at the question and Natasha looked over your shoulder in curiosity. “Oh god. Hey Bagman, what kind of flowers do you want at your funeral?”

You smirked at the question and his answer almost made you laugh. “Is that the kind of question you ask guys? No wonder you’re still single.”

Her laugh told you she found the whole situation entertaining. “Might want to get your affairs in order. I don’t see you lasting more than a week with Y/N.”

His head whipped over to you and a slow smirk appeared on his face much to your annoyance.

“Wipe that look off your face before I do it for you.” He chuckled and held up his hands in mock surrender.

“I’ll make sure to keep my door locked at night.” He gave you a wink and turned back to Coyote.

You couldn’t help but shake your head at what just happened. Of all the people here, you just had to be paired up with the teenager on steroids.

Natasha came and put an arm around your shoulder. “If it gets too bad, we can set up something in my room.”

You gave her a weak smile, “Thanks, but I think I can manage a few weeks with him. If something changes, like needing help to bury a body, you’ll be my first call.”

She snorted in response, “I already know a good spot to hide him.”

A voice behind you both made you jump. “The two of you are scary.” Bradley had a concerned look on his face, but Natasha waved him off. “Don’t get on our bad side, Bradshaw and you’ll be fine.”

Day one and you already wanted to strangle the man. You knew everyone had their own quirks when it came to their routine, but his were borderline insufferable.

It started out with only having one bathroom. If the Navy taught you anything, it was how to be quick about your personal time. Your showers were under five minutes, and you were courteous enough to do your hair in your room. The only issue was, you forgot to brush your teeth while you were in the bathroom. Something you planned on quickly doing when the blonde was done with his shower.

A few minutes of waiting turned into nearly half an hour, and you had to leave for base if you didn’t want to be late. What the hell he was doing in there you had no idea, but you couldn’t wait any longer. You mumbled “asshole” and walked out of the apartment to your car, making a mental note to move your toothbrush later.

The group of you were ushered into the hanger, getting ready to listen to the plan for the day. A tap on your shoulder had you turning around to see your roommate from hell holing out some gum.

“Thought you might need it.” You narrowed your eyes at him and shook your head.

“I knew it took a lot of hair product for your hair to be the way it is, but thirty minutes to get ready seems like a waste of time. Clearly it didn’t do you any favors.” You turned back around before you could see his reaction, but the muffled laughs around you had you smirking.

End of week one and the two of you were getting into a small routine, being able to work around each other. He realized very quickly not to talk to you first thing in the morning. Getting a breakfast burrito thrown at him was not something he wanted to make a regular occurrence, so he kept his distance until you had a cup of coffee in you.

That morning though, he came in from a run just as you were waking up. Seeing the sand come off his shoes into the kitchen had you taking deep breaths to keep your cool. You had to admit, seeing him shirtless was a sight to be had, but it still wasn’t good enough to mask his intolerable personality.

“I don’t understand why you have to go for a run every morning.” Not only did it bring in the sand, but the smell of sweat wasn’t also something you particularly enjoyed.

“I’m flattered that you think these good looks are all natural, but sadly I do have to work out.” It took your brain a few seconds to process what he had said, and you opened your mouth to try and come up with what you meant.

“That’s not-no. I meant-you know what, whatever.” His laugh was what you heard as you retreated to the bathroom, and you knew the best way to get back at him. You took your five-minute shower and then kept the hot water running full blast as you finished getting ready in the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, you walked out ready for the day and gave Hangman a smile as you passed him in the kitchen. He gave you a questioning look, but eventually went to go take his shower.

You were about to walk out to your car when you heard a shout, “God dammit!” A smile was plastered on your face for the rest of the day.

Hangman stopped you in the hall at Top Gun and asked why you used all the hot water. “You seemed to get all hot and bothered talking about yourself this morning that I figured you needed a cold shower to calm down.” He stood there looking like he was pissed off with what you said, but the stupid smirk appeared. “Good thing I love a cold shower. It’s better for my hair.” And walked off.

Things changed in week two. Training had gotten intense and the stress of everything was starting to show with everyone. Coyote ended up in G-LOC and Natasha and Bob had to eject after a bird strike. Things like that had old memories surfacing and you could only hide so much. Your teammates had no idea you were struggling to keep it together, but Hangman saw right through your act. He just didn’t know how to approach the subject without pissing you off.

It was three in the morning and a nightmare had woken you up. Knowing that if you closed your eyes, it would just replay again. So, you made the decision to get up and watch tv. You kept the volume down low to not wake up your roommate, but you didn’t know he woke up during your nightmare.

With thin walls, Hangman could hear everything that went on in your room. He knew when you finally went to sleep at night or when you decided a light workout at midnight was a great idea. But this night, he heard a pained whimper and the constant tossing and turning coming from your bed. It didn’t take long after for the footsteps to follow and the opening and closing of your door. What surprised him though, was the tv turning on in the living room at three in the morning.

He knew you had problems getting to sleep or staying asleep. But most of the time you at least attempted to get a few hours in before getting up. Tonight, was a red flag for him and he knew he couldn’t stay silent anymore. No matter how much you hated him, he couldn’t let you keep going the way you were. Eventually the lack of sleep is going to catch up and he knew it would be while you were in the air.

Your ears perked up when you heard a door open. A few seconds later, Hangman came walking into the living room and sat on the couch across from you. This was the first time either of you interacted with each other this late at night and you could feel the uneasiness coming off of him. A glance over to him showed he was lost in thought, looking at the ground in front of him.

“What are you doing up?” His eyes lifted towards you at the question, and you waited for him to answer.

“I could ask you the same thing. Last I checked, there was nothing good on at 3 in the morning.” Your eyes squinted at his response, and you tried to figure out his play.

“I don’t see why my sleeping habits are of concern to you.” Your answer seemed to deflate him a bit. Almost like he was disappointed in what you said. But again, you didn’t understand why.

“Look, Y/N. I know you haven’t been sleeping and recently you haven’t been yourself. The others don’t see it because you do a pretty damn good job of putting on an act, but I do. Is it something I’ve done? Because if that’s the case, I’ll go bunk with someone else. I don’t need you getting hurt out there because me.”

His words hit you harder than you wanted to admit. You tried to figure out how he came to that conclusion and thought back to this last week. You were closed off, the jokes you made towards him had all but vanished, and you mainly kept to your room. But it wasn’t because of him. It was easier to hide away than explain to someone what was going on.

“It’s not that. Work has been stressful, and I have my own way of dealing with it.” It wasn’t a lie, but it was a very watered-down version of the truth.

“And the nightmares?” You winced at that question. Here you thought you had been doing a good job of hiding things, but the blonde in front of you was too observant for his own good.

“Why does it matter? In a week we won’t be roommates anymore and everything will go back to the way it was.” In a last-ditch attempt of avoiding the real issue, pushing him away seemed like the best option. Until he said what he did.

“Because I know what it’s like to be a prisoner in your own head. To feel like the world around you is moving too fast for you to keep up. And while I may not be your biggest fan, I wouldn’t wish that kind of internal struggle on anyone.” You watched as he ran a hand through his hair, clearly struggling to find the right words. The ever so cocky pilot wasn’t here tonight, and you found yourself struggling to keep your composure. It was easier to put up a front when he was the worst version of himself. But this was different.

“How about tonight we pretend like we don’t have a million differences with each other. You can say anything, and I won’t judge or even bring it up in the morning. But something is wrong, and you need to talk about it. And what better person to do it with than someone who doesn’t know you that well?”

He was right. If you confided in one of your close friends, like Natasha, you knew it was something she would remember for a long time. While she may not judge, the pity looks were just as bad. Hangman was a near stranger when it came to personal information. The two of you only knew each other on a surface level, never trying to push boundaries.

“Last year there was an accident. A friend and I were on a routine flight when a bird strike hit. Both of our planes caught fire and I ejected without a problem. Her lever was stuck, and she ended up crashing her plane into a mountain. This last week just opened old wounds and it’s like my mind is stuck in the past. I’m either too worked up to fall asleep or a nightmare wakes me up. Every time I close my eyes, that day keeps playing on a loop and I guess I just thought it would eventually stop.”

You knew the memory would never quite leave you alone, but you hoped things would at least get easier. But seeing Natasha’s plane crash was too close to the original memory.

“Can I make a suggestion and you not get mad?” It was a loaded question, but your desperation for some sort of help pushed you to nod your head.

“Sometimes having someone near you when you go to sleep can help. It’s almost like a sense of safety that you can sleep, and the other person will have your back. I’d rather you be pissed off next to me while you get a few hours of sleep than have to stand next to your casket because you couldn’t think clearly in the sky.”

His words were brutally honest, and you couldn’t tell if you were thankful or not for it. To have someone not tip toe around your feelings was almost refreshing, but why did it have to be Jake Seresin of all people?

The last two weeks have been nothing but a challenge living together. You were two very different people forced to coexist and now he was talking about you sleeping in his bed. The boundaries you had made very early on were about to be crossed and that’s what you were struggling the most with.

“It will change things.” Was your response to his suggestion. But a quick shake of his head and you knew it was a weak argument.

“Nothing changes. You need a source of safety and I’m willing to provide it. I know you may not think I’m a team player, but when it really counts, I’ll have your back no matter what.” You searched him for any signs of misleading, but the only thing you saw was a genuine concern.

“Okay. But only for tonight.” He gave you a small smile, one you had never seen before. The smirk you had come to hate was nowhere to be seen and you were starting to wonder how much of a front he puts up. Because then man that was currently offering his bed to help you sleep, was not the man you thought existed.

You awkwardly crawled into his bed and turned with your back to him, facing the wall. You felt the bed dip, and the warmth behind you told you he wasn’t far. To your surprise, his hands stayed to himself, and he was a respectable distance from you. But the sound of his even breaths mixed in with the smell of him had you slowly drifting off to sleep.

A few days had passed, and Jake was honoring what he had said that night. Nothing was ever brought up and the two of you went back to how things were. But things seemed easier now. The dancing around each other in the morning was seamless and you found his presence to be comforting rather than an annoyance. Things moved forward and for once you felt like you were keeping up.

That night came at you like a fright train. You had gone the last few nights without a nightmare and only a few wakeups. But the hope of moving forward was quickly crushed when you woke up out of breath and tears streaming down your face.

It almost scared you how much you didn’t think about what you did next. You walked out of your room and knocked on the bedroom door next to yours. Jake answered the door in sweatpants and his hair in a million different direction. Clearly, he had just been woken up. But he very quickly was on alert as he took in your tear stained face and shaking hands.

“I-I’m sorry. I woke up and just came here. I didn’t mean to wake you. I-“ He cut you as he wiped a few tears away.

“Come here, sweetheart.” He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. One hand was rubbing the back of your head and you started to sob against him. All the hurt and pain you had been keeping in, finally escaped. You both stood like that for a few minutes, him letting you calm down some before he let go.

“Stay in here tonight. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He wiped the tears away and gently grabbed your hand, leading you over to his bed. This time was different. This time you weren’t the levelheaded pilot who knew to keep walls up around others. No, this time you were a broken girl desperate for comfort. Which is why you curled yourself up next to him, allowing him to wrap an arm around you to pull you closer.

“Get some sleep. I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed the top of your head and lazily drew circles on your back.

A few weeks ago, you hated the fact you were stuck with him for the next few weeks. But now, you had no idea how you were going to let him go.  

A/N: Thank you so so much for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it!

[dyhlanobrien]

Mike Wheeler x F!Reader Warning : ST S4 redo, Injuries, that's all really, Plot: Fluff, Comfort, very mild, S4 Vol. 2

She’s the first to climb the sheet ladder, helped by Mike, who follows her up. She hits the mattress and rolls out of his way. He hits next, the two sharing a quick giggle and a smile. She holds her hand out, which he quickly takes, and she pulls him up to her. Dustin hits next. Once Dustin lands, they all look up to Eddie, who hasn’t started climbing yet. He’s looking from them and back outside. 

Y/N realizes what he’s going to do before the rest do. They all shout, scream, asking him to stop what he’s doing, but it’s no use. He’s cut the sheet and moved the mattress before they can change his mind. They frantically try to think of something, when it hits her. 

“Mike, put me on your shoulders. I can reach and go through.” 

“Absolutely not Y/N! You are not going back through there alone.” 

“I won’t be alone. I’ll be with Eddie. I’ll stop him, but it needs to be done now.” 

Mike and Dustin share a look, Dustin shrugging his shoulders cause he doesn’t know what else to do. Dustin holds his hands out, Y/N using them as a step to climb onto Mike's shoulders. She knows it might hurt him, but she’ll apologize later. She uses all her force to jump from his shoulders, just barely grabbing the edge of the portal. She uses her upper strength to pull herself up and manages to land similar to Steve earlier. Thank god for gymnastics. 

She grabs her weapon, as well as Eddie’s, from earlier and dashes out the door. 

“Eddie! Eddie, where are you?” She doesn’t hear anything from him but she does hear the demo-bats. She rubs towards the noise, finally finding Eddie. He’s only got a shield and is surrounded. 

“Eddie!” 

He’s finally heard her and he doesn’t look happy. She runs into the fray, throwing him his saber or whatever they had decided to call it. They stand back to back, swinging at anything that comes near them. They don’t hit every one, and some get a bite in here and there. 

“What the hell are you doing Y/N? This was supposed to be my moment of glory!” 

“If you think we were just gonna let you sacrifice yourself for this shit town, you’re very wrong,” she says, hissing as a bat gets her upper arm. 

“Should’ve known you’d never let me have the spotlight,” he says, a bat getting him on the back. As it bites his back, his tail swings, slashing across her face. She can feel it slash through her skin, the blood rolling into her eye. 

“We’re gonna get out of this, and we’re gonna clear your name. Your year, remember?” 

“You gonna be there to watch me cross the stage, Little Harrington?” 

“We all will. Front row, cheering as you flip off the principal.” 

Suddenly, they are swarmed, the bats getting several bites in. As quickly as they came, they all fell to the ground. They both droop onto each other, looking around. Was it over? Had they won? 

Y/N looks down at herself, seeing multiple spots where blood is oozing through her clothes. Looking over at Eddie, he doesn’t look much better. 

They hear shouting, looking up to see Mike and Dustin running towards them. 

Mike falls to his knees, sliding to his girlfriend's side. “Shit shit shit, Y/N, what the hell were you thinking?” 

“She couldn’t let me have the glory man, she’s my hero. Saved my life, for sure,” Eddie says as Dustin helps him up. Mike puts an arm under Y/Ns legs and around her shoulders, holding her closely to his chest. 

“We need to get them both out of here, and get medical attention immediately.”

They all start to walk to the trailer, quick and unable to wait for the other three. They all manage to get through and as Mike goes to carry Y/N out of the trailer, the ground starts to shake. The four move away from the trailer, the shaking causing them all to fall to the ground. Mike softens Y/N’s fall, holding her tightly to his chest. They watch in shocked silence as Eddie’s trailer is swallowed by the huge portal opening up in its place. 

“What the fuck? How much blood have I lost, cause I think I’m seeing things,” Y/N says, clutching onto Mike's arm that’s wrapped around her chest. 

“Vecna's curse, the four chimes. We heard them,” Robin says, walking up from behind them. 

“We need to go, now,” Y/N says, attempting to stand up. She quickly falls back into Mike, everything spinning. She has so many questions, but they’re going to have to wait.

“No, you need medical attention. We’ll split up, the four of us will go get your wounds cleaned, you three go find the other three. Drop us off at the Harrington house,” Mike orders, scooping Y/N up and starting towards where they left the vehicle. No one argues, just follows. 

Once they’re dropped off, Mike carries Y/N up to her room and lays her on her bed. 

“Man, I just washed my bedding, and now I’m gonna have to throw it out,” she jokes, seeing the blood already making a mess. Mike doesn’t laugh, just goes to her bathroom, grabbing the things he thinks he’ll need to tend to her wounds. 

He returns, dropping everything on the bed beside her. The first thing he does is help her sit up and remove her shirt. These bites look the worst. He doesn’t move, causing Y/N to look up at him. He's in a daze, looking down at her wounds. She brings her hand up, caressing his cheek. 

“I’m ok. I’m here.” 

He shakes himself out of his moment, looking back to Y/N with sad eyes. “I thought I’d lost you.” 

She sits up, hissing at the pain caused by her movements, and wraps her arms around his neck. “I know. I know you did. But you didn’t. I’m here. We made it. We’re together. I’m right here and I'm not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me Wheeler.” 

He holds her gently, not wanting to cause her anymore pain, then leans back, looking down at her big green eyes. He places a hand on each side of her face, staring at the face he loves so much. He places a gentle kiss on her lips, pulling away much to fast for her liking. Her lips turn into a pout, so he kisses them again, turning the pout into a smile. 

“I love you Y/N Harrington.” 

“I love you too Michael Wheeler,” she replies as she lays back down. 

“This is going to hurt Y/N,” he says as a warning. She grabs her pillow, stuffing it into her face, and gives him a thumbs up. She screams as he pours the peroxide on the wounds, quick to cover them with gauze and tape. “This isn’t going to be perfect, but it’ll work for now.” She doesn’t respond, so he pulls the pillow from her face, and sees she’s passed out from the pain. He cleans the rest of her body wounds, saving her face for last. 

He gently cleans it with cotton balls and peroxide, careful to to get anything near her eyes. He puts neosporin on it, unsure of what else to do. He brushes her hair back, staring down at her face. He had thought for a moment earlier, that he may never see her again, alive at least. It had taken Dustin and him far too long to figure out how they could get through the portal and by the time he had, he’d expected the worst. But when he saw them both sitting up, alive, he’d been beyond relieved. He couldn’t imagine if anything else had happened. If he’d had to look at Steve and tell him he’d let her go back without him and she didn’t make it. 

He cleans up the mess he made, and lays down beside the sleeping girl. As soon as he wraps an arm around her, instinct kicks in and she grabs at his chest, holding his shirt in her hands. 

He kisses her on her forehead, and before he knows it, falls asleep. 

[ivybucky]

remember - b.b. x fem!reader

Request by @divergirl99 : Could I make a request a Bucky x reader....where maybe she is childhood best friends and goes to war with them and when she thinks the boys are gone she volunteers to help stark recreate the serum resulting in her being a super soldier who doesn’t age and after civil war Nat (who she is friends with) asked her for a place to hide and she see Bucky and Steve and really fluffy reunion and Bucky remember hers and tells him he loves her?? (Sorry it is really long) - divergirl99

a/n: i'm sorry this sucks??? i might try and redo this at a later time but this has been sitting in my requests for far too long.

author: abby<3

words: 1317

“Ma’am,” a security guard stepped in her path. “You can’t enter this facility without some kind of granted access.”

“I don’t care,” she snapped. “Stark’s gonna see me whether he wants to or not.”

“Let her in, Jimmy,” Howard Stark stood with his arms crossed across his chest. The security guard reluctantly backed away. “I was expecting this at some point.”

“Howard-”

“Y/N, I know, okay?” he sighed, shoulders dropping slightly. “Why don’t you come in, I’ve got some stuff I wanna show you.”

The entrance to the SSR facility was grand, but everything with Stark was. She felt her own urgency get muddled under the views of the labs they passed down the all.

“What’s going on here Howard- what do you have that I don’t know about?”

“We recreated it.”

“You what? Howard-”

“We were able to do it, finally, I think.”

“You think?”

“We haven’t tested it yet.”

“And what if this gets into the wrong hands? What if someone like Hydra? Steve wouldn’t have-”

“Y/N,” he sighed. “I miss him too. Why do you think I’m doing this? I know he’s still out there. But I can’t do this by myself.”

“You have at least 300 bodies in this facility.”

“You know what I mean.” Y/N looked around at the viles, the serum that covered the table slabs of the room. “I’m asking for your help.”

“Howard,” her arms tightened around her own waist. “I lost my best friend and the man I had fallen in love with in the same war. I don’t know if I have anything else to give to the cause. They were the ones who could have helped, I’m just an agent.”

“Erskine chose you too. How many women do you see fighting these wars? He knew what you were meant to do, just as Steve did, just as Bucky did. This is it, Y/N.”

She thought about Bucky, how he tried to be everything Steve was molded into. She thought about how he fell, without the chance to realize himself was plenty good enough. She thought about Steve, how the world would be blind to his deeds as he sat in the ice, not knowing what he did to keep the world that had treated him so cruelly safe.

“Fine,” her arms fell down to her sides, a decision already set on her face. “Rig me up, Stark. For them.”

“Who is this?” Y/N bit into the burner phone that never rang. “How did you get this number?”

“Well,” Nat’s voice sounded over the speaker, causing her mouth to tip up slightly. “After all this time, that’s how you greet an old friend?”

“Well, it has been ten years, Tash,” she sighed, untensing her shoulders. “I wasn’t sure you were still out there. Deep doesn’t have a whole lot of press coverage around here.”

“I’m still out here,” Natasha sighed, clearing her throat. “A lot of people, Y/N, are still out here.”

She paused, back straightening once more. “Natalia-”

“They’re both with me,” her voice was firm, and concerning. “And we need to lay low for a bit.”

“You’re already on your way, aren’t you?”

“What, no? You’re at an undisclosed location, how could I possibly-”

“How far out are you?”

“Two hours,” Nat laughed, but Y/N heard the sadness, the pain that lined her voice.

“I’ll see you soon,” She breathed out with an unsteadiness of the reunion to come. “Be safe. Do they know?”

“I’ll tell them before we get there.”

“Natasha,” Steve’s tired voice called out, as he rubbed a hand over his face. “You haven’t told us where we’re going yet.”

“That’s because I need to explain some things,” her gaze dropped to Bucky, who looked like he was still reeling. “To both of you.”

Steve chuckled darkly, “More secrets?”

“I need you to understand that until now, if you had known, the mission, the undercover, all of it would have been compromised, and she could have been killed.”

“She?” Bucky spoke, for the first time since he boarded the jet. Steve stood up, his memory serving him well.

“Natasha-”

“After Steve went into the ice, Howard Stark didn’t stop,” she began, sitting down and looking at her hands. “There were attempts, too many, from all around to recreate what Erskine had used for Steve. But he knows he wasn’t supposed to be the only one.”

Steve’s chest rose quickly as he sucked in a breath. Bucky stood up, his own breath leaving his body. “Steve-”

“Stark was able to recreate it. But he quickly destroyed the serum after he used it on one test patient, and realized once again what the wrong hands would do with it.”

The quinjet landed, the ramp lowering onto the field they were located in.

“Are you telling me that-”

“Y/N’s alive.” Natasha stood up and walked down the ramp. She turned back around at the super soldiers. “And she’s got the serum.”

Once the ramp met the ground, Bucky took off in a sprint. He ignored the calls of his name, the one he had to learn again, behind him. The wooden steps that lead to the front door creaked under his heavy frame. Consciously, he banged on the door with his flesh hand.

“Okay Nat, jeez-” The door swung open, and Y/N stood there, unchanged, unaged, just as she had the day on the train.

She tried to ignore the moisture building up in her eyes as she saw the man she had loved from afar, with grief, for nearly a hundred years. “James-”

His hands shook as he reached out to caress her cheek, to solidify the image before him. Her hands wrapped around his wrist, pressing her face into his hand. In a second, her body was pressed against his. Bucky buried his face into her neck, clenching his eyes shut in fear that she would disappear once he opened them. He felt her sigh beneath him, hand sweeping up his back. She mumbled against his chest, watery and shaky, “I wasn’t sure you would remember me.”

“Remember you?” He pulled back and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Y/N, you’re the reason I’m not completely gone, doll. I don’t remember everything,” he sighed, cupping her face again. “But I remember you, and I remember how much I love you.”

Y/N gave a watery smile, pressing her lips into the palm of his hand. “I love you, too, James. I always have, and always will.”

His lips against hers were firm, finding purchase in a place he thought he would never find, in a home he thought he would never return to. Her hands wrapped around his neck, something she hadn’t done in this way before but something she knew she was meant to do. She breathed him in, as if he was her only air supply. He smiled into the kiss, something he wasn’t even sure he knew how to do anymore. They broke apart for breath, and to wipe the tears that were flowing away.

“Are you gonna hog her this whole time, Buck,” Steve laughed from behind as he walked up the stairs. “Or do I get to hug my best friend too?”

“Steve!” She launched herself into the arms of her friend, her brother, who she wanted to do everything for. He squeezed her and spun her around as she laughed. She was set down, and immediately went back to Bucky’s side. “Come on inside, we’ve been standing out here too long.”

She smiled at Nat as she followed Steve inside. Bucky pulled Y/N back into another hug, squeezing her with a lightness he couldn’t remember feeling before. And while he regretted a lot of what he had done in his past, he was sure nothing else could have led to having her in his arms again.

Forever Tags(all characters)

@avengers-do-it-better @maisondumepris @hamiltonwrite12

Steve & Bucky

@fab-notfat @mcueveryday @nanners-the-great @mcubuckyandsteve @captainfile @yes-sir-hotchner

Bucky

@aletheladyinred @antheiagoddessofflowers @stevieintheimpala @friendlyneighborhood-fangirl

[oumaheroes]

Christmas Drabble (6)

Summary: Time is running out and Alfred might have some regrets

Word Count: 965

Characters: America, Sealand

Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5

---

‘An hour!’

‘Yes, an hour. Or, thereabouts.’ On the other end of the line, Alfred could almost see England sense that something was amiss, ‘Is that a problem?’

‘Oh nah, course not. It’s just me and Petey home at the moment, Matt went off to collect the sweet summer children from the airport.’

‘…what?’

‘Dude. Come on, you watched Game of Thrones. And you know, you can use context?’ Alfred tutted, ‘You disappoint me.’

‘Yes yes, alright, I get it. But Matthew’s only just gone to get them now? They landed about 5 hours ago.’

‘Oh, no he went ages ago.’ Come to think of it, that was kinda strange, they should all be back by now, ‘Might be traffic, I’ll give him a call.’

‘Yes, please do.’ England paused, ‘Is everything else alright?’

‘Yeah, totally fine here. Speaking of though, why didn’t you pick Jack and Alex up?’

‘Right, I’ll let you go and set off. Stick the kettle on in about 50 minutes.’

America grinned, happy that whatever had happened to England was embarrassing enough to cause him to so willingly give up an investigation into potential misbehaviour, ‘Sure. Coffee, yeah?’

‘Alfred…’

‘Bye! Drive safe!’ Placing down the phone as gently as a man in a full blown panic could, America then sprinted back to Sealand, feeble antiques in the hallway teetering dangerously as he went, ‘Pete! Pops is back in an hour.’

Sealand’s horrified face reappeared from around a pile of wrapping paper, ‘What?!’ He looked about at the carnage that had been until that morning the pristine guest living room- unwrapped presents spread out in a large pile, paper all over the place and, horrifically everywhere you’d want it not to be, glitter, ‘We can’t do all this in an hour!’

‘That’s what a quitter would say.’ America threw himself onto his knees and began sorting presents into piles. They’d started by opening their own ones but had then quickly moved on to exploring everyone else’s. In particular, America had wanted to see what Canada had got and Sealand had been curiously intent on breaking into Falkland’s gifts. (That was something America needed to remember to dig into later.)

It had been oddly hard to stop opening things after that.

‘We’re fucked,’ Sealand lamented after about half an hour of stressful rewrapping, passing America a newly squashed knitted hat to go in the steadily forming ‘Canada’ pile. America had an embarrassingly English urge to tell him off for cursing that he had to swallow down with some force, ‘There’s no way we can get this done before Dad gets back. We might as well just accept it.’

‘Hell no. We don’t accept defeat. We just need to redo the system. How about I take over the wrapping, you smooth the paper out ready and try to match it up, and then start cleaning.’

Sealand shook his head mournfully, ‘He’ll still know. The wrapping’s all different and if we do it as carefully as he does, we’ll never get it done in time.’

America poked him in the side, ‘A negative nelly won’t win us the war, soldier. It doesn’t matter if Lord Grumpington knows, we just need to do it before everyone else gets here and knows that we peeked. The old man will blame the wrapping on Uncle Alistair to keep up appearances and everything will be fine.’

Sealand still looked unsure but dutifully began to gather up the paper and smooth it out ready for America to wrap with before forming present piles for each person that still needed saving. Once this was finished, he placed their battered and cackhanded first rewrapped attempts back under the tree and America got to work again, very thankful they’d been careful enough not to tear the paper too much.

‘Right, now you get the sofa cushions picked up.’

Sealand stood, ‘We need to hoover them first. There’s glitter everywhere.’

‘I’m going to kill Jack. Who the hell puts glitter in a PS5 game box.’

‘Didn’t you do it to him first, with the-‘

‘Priorities,’ America quickly spoke over him, ‘fix the sofa. The old folk will come rushing in, desperate for their tea and coffee and I can distract them whilst you vacuum. They’re not gonna see the glitter straight away.’

Sealand gave him an unimpressed look, ‘But they’ll hear the hoover.’

‘We’ll tell him we’re doing a nice thing for him!’

‘That’s stupid.’

‘You’re stupid,’ Sealand stepped around him and America tried to grab for him, ‘Come on, seriously. The vacuum can wait.’

‘No, we should do that first.’

‘Dude, don’t make me have to pull a Matt and get uncool and serious on you.’

Sealand scoffed, pulling himself free, and jumped up onto the sofa to get away from him when America lunged for him. America tried grabbing him again, aiming for the waist this time to haul him off, but Sealand once more avoided him, ducking under his arm to jump onto the arm of the opposite sofa.

Many things happened at once.

Sealand made the jump cleanly enough but must have overestimated the force needed to get there. As he landed, the wooden supports of the arm cracked cleanly in half, throwing Sealand hard and awkwardly to the ground. At the same time, as America clumsily jerked forwards in an attempt to catch him, his foot caught on the wire of the fairy lights draped around the tree. The whole thing toppled instantly, pulled down right of top of the whole mess.

‘Peter!’ Alfred pushed the tree aside and scrambled over to him, ‘You dead?’

‘No,’ with a wince Sealand sat up, cradling his shoulder. He gingerly took his hand away and America stared in horror at his very dislocated arm, ‘but we might be soon.’

‘Ah shit.’

Part 7

---

AN:

When you’re struggling to write something, the logical and not at all silly thing to do is to write something else. I will not regret this decision, nope not at all.

[yanderecandystore]

(nsfw kinda?) what would the twins do if they went to a party and then woke up next to someone after you-know-what and realize its s/o g/n? would they be shocked? scared? also remeber to drink water and get good sleep!

The irony boo is that I'm doing neither of those things lol-

But something I will do it's your request! It sounds really fun, boo!

I'm sorry this isn't better- I wish I could try this concept again on a full fledged fanfic but I'm not feeling the right mood yet, I think I would half-ass it because of that.

TW/Tags: nsfw/mentions of nsfw // short headcanon // the twins being both tsunderes and yanderes, I just really like the mixture XD // a slight memory loss before regaining everything cause I don't want to make this too dramatic // delusional thinking and possessive thoughts

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Surprise slumber party [Yandere!Bully OCS x GN!Reader - Headcanon]:

→ Adrien Coldwell:

Ya know, the twins are known for bringing different people to sleep with them, normally just so they could have a one time fun with them and then leave- But this time it seems to be very different.

Adrien can't remember what happened the day before but after looking around and analysing his clues he has come to the conclusion that A: This is not the Coldwell mansion and B: HOLY SHIT why the FUCK are YOU sleeping next to them?-

Normally they tend to not care for who is sleeping next to them, just assuming that the warmth that comes from the body next to them is just another toy- Someone who is worth enough to sleep with them, but also not high enough in their standards to be considered a romantic partner.

But you?? You're not just a mere toy to them, you fool.

It's obvious that you two spent the night together in someone else's house, probably a friend of the twins. This confuses Adrien to no end, how were even invited to the party in the first place?? How did a loser like you get in here and how did a loser like you slept with him- YOU SLEPT WITH HIM, OH MY GOD-

Did you two… If you two really did fuck then why can't he remember anything?? This was supposed to be the most important memory in the moment yet he can't recall how you two ended up like this.

It's not his imagination either, there seems to be enough proof to support that you two did something together, but he can't tell how far it went- He wishes he could remember how it was.

Your body, naked next to him- Love bites that seem to be his on doing (he fucking hopes it's his on, or we're going to have a problem-), there doesn't seem to be any other marks- It wasn't rough and ruthless like he normally is with you, well, outside this scenario. Sounds like the perfect time that he can't. Fucking. Remember.

How inconsiderate. He can't even remember what he had imagined doing for so long. Maybe the memories will come back soon enough, he hopes they do.

Could you still remember? Probably not, you seem to be more unconscious than him- But he does hope you remember how it was, how HE was, was it like how he imagined- Was it how you imagined?

"- … Did you ever think about doing this with him at all? Was it- Was it actually love and not just-"

He is more confused than anything else, it was a very pleasant surprise but also so frustrating how he couldn't remember exactly how it went- Some parts seem to be coming back but not the whole scene, and in a foolish attempt at regaining his memories, he tries to redo his actions as his hand tries finding its way around your body once again-

If you wake up right now, you'll see the most confusing mixture of feelings into one single expression: fear, lost, yet an look of pure wonder- The scene before him is beautiful but the fact that only a couple of moments seem to play in his head makes him feel lost and fearful of what you might think of him.

Right now he feels so vulnerable, regretful that he couldn't have done this sooner- Sounds of last night echo through his mind. No one entered in this room except you two, and it's still really early in the morning so he can just go back and enjoy this moment- After all, what could be the best way to celebrate this moment if not by savouring his victory?

He finally got you by his side in the most intimate way possible and finally you can see that you belong to him- He won. He finally won...

→ Alexandra Coldwell:

Ya know, the twins are known for bringing different people to sleep with them, normally just so they could have a one time fun with them and then leave- But this time it seems to be very different.

Alexandra can't remember what happened the day before but after looking around and analysing her clues she has come to the conclusion that A: This is not the Coldwell mansion and B: HOLY SHIT why the FUCK are YOU sleeping next to them?-

Normally they tend to not care for who is sleeping next to them, just assuming that the warmth that comes from the body next to them is just another toy- Someone who is worth enough to sleep with them, but also not high enough in their standards to be considered a romantic partner.

But you?? You're not just a mere toy to them, you fool.

It's obvious that you two spent the night together in someone else's house, probably a friend of the twins.

Which by the way- How dare you?? Who invited you? Who allowed a loser like you inside this party in the first place?? Did you come with someone else- wait- why are you- WHY IS SHE NAKED?? Why are you BOTH NAKED??? Alexandra feels embarrassed as she can't remember how you two came to be in this position in the first place.

If you two really- Well, fucked- How can she not recall it?? Why can't she remember every single detail from last night?? It was supposed to be "the moment" yet she can only get a couple of scenes inside her head.

It's not a coincidence, it can't be! You two wouldn't be sharing a bed like this unless… No, it's clear that it happened- But why can't she just- Argh! How stressful, YOU are so stressful. You make her go to cloud nine every time she sees you yet she can't even remember if she made you pay for making her feel so- Bashful…

Look at you, naked and… A-And filled with stretch marks- It's clear that she used your body as a canvas for her sharp nails, yet they clearly don't look as painful as her other "victims". Your soft skin looks just as delectable as it always does, but the context of what could have happened makes this scenario so much better- But she still can't remember what got you two to this point, how inconsiderate.

It's the moment she would dream off every night, yet only a couple of scenes and sounds seem to be appearing in her very foggy mind. Maybe later she'll remember how it all went down, but she still needs to know some very important details right now-

Was it… Fun? To you, that is- Was it, like she dreamed off? O-or maybe it was more like one of your dreams- Although she shouldn't expect you to have nice dreams about her, they're all probably nightmares…

Was she good to you like you are to her?

"- Was I sweet… like you are? Was this love or just…"

She feels ashamed more than anything else, now she can't even remember if she looked good while topping you (if she finds out she went bottom mode with you on your first night she'll commit "not living anymore"-). As she caresses your body in hopes of triggering her memory back she can't deny that you look really appetizing, like something she could just take another bite off but never feel satisfied- Or maybe like someone that she can love, and love and love again yet never feel bored of it.

Her expression would be one of- Well, embarrassment mixed with a look of worship- This is probably the most vulnerable she has felt in a long time, yet this is the first time she feels so close to someone, that's a part of her that wants to wake you up and try to show you how much she adores you all over again.

But right now she should control herself, it's already morning, it's a new day. There are probably lots of party guests around the house, and even if the door is locked she doesn't want anyone to know of this. Let her enjoy this alone with you, goddamnit.

She won… Can you believe that?? She won. She won, she won! After so long she finally has you here with her, and even if she can't tell what happened and how far it went, it is still pretty clear that after so long of you denying it- You have accepted it.

You have successfully accepted your place next to her, not only just in bed. This is perfect- This moment, it's perfect.

You are hers now- Always have been!...

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[gwydionae]

So I have been trying to read the paper on the destruction of Asgard for days now, and I was hoping to get some input/theories on it. I first wanted to read it because I was curious if Loki actually knew the Hulk was involved in Ragnarok in some way after using him in his salad example (or if he just simply was thinking about getting back at Hulk for what happened in Avengers lol). But the whole thing ended up being more interesting than I thought it would be, and I wanted to share my thoughts and hear from anyone else who would like to share their own.

After much zooming and squinting, here is what it says (anything in [brackets] is my best guess based on font, word length, and sentence structure):

EVENT INQUIRY DESTRUCTION OF ASGARD EVENT DETAILS

Event Analysis: Ragnarok (Class Seven Apocalypse): Total planetary body deletion of (1) Asgard (file: IPB-ASG-001)

Casualties: 9,719 (Entire Civilization Annihilation) (file: IPB-ASG-010)

Time Status: Displaced by 000:000:002:162

Cause of Displacement: Codename: Revengers (IPB-SAK-324) (see case file: IPB-ASG-012) see case files: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-157, IPB-ASG-892

Event Summary: Full event analysis may be requested. Please see IPB-[TVA-452?]. IPB-ASG-001 fell 000:000:002:162 off [schedule in?] an attack by IPB-ASG-012. IPB-ASG-012 was one of four (4) [possibilities?] for the event [IPB-ASG-893?]. These alternatives can be found on Page 7 of the IPB-ASG-895. Cause of displacement of the event was due to IPB-SAK-324 (see: Revengers), but with the completion of the event, the time variance displacement has been [deemed?] inconsequential by IPB-TVA-001. IPB-ASG-012 of IPB-NIL-001's destruction of IPB-ASG-001 has been deemed in totality. IPB-ASG-895 will be the final file of the IPB-ASG sequence. All other files regarding the further events of the people of IPB-ASG-001 can be found in IPB-ARK-001 and onwards.

RELATIVE CASE FILES Planetary Body: IPB-ASG-001, IPB-NIL-001 Event Causes: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-010 Displacement Causes: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-157, IPB-ASG-892, IPB-SAK-324

(Further case files can be found in IPB-ASG-895)

(This gets very long... I’m sorry. XD)

First thing I want to touch on is all the dang CODES in this freaking thing, lol. Here is a (possible) full list of all of them:

IPB-ARK-001 IPB-ASG-001 IPB-ASG-004 IPB-ASG-005 IPB-ASG-010 IPB-ASG-012 IPB-ASG-157 IPB-ASG-892 [IPB-ASG-893?] IPB-ASG-895 IPB-NIL-001 IPB-SAK-324 IPB-TVA-001 [IPB-TVA-452?]

There are two we know for certain what they stand for:

IPB-ASG-001 = Asgard IPB-SAK-324 = Revengers

These are explicitly stated in the document. Knowing this, ASG seems to stand for “Asgard” and SAK would be “Sakaar”, which is where the Revengers were first formed. The other code letters used are ARK, NIL, and TVA. The last one is pretty obvious, and one could guess from context that ARK is likely referring to the Statesmen ship the Asgardians escaped on as it would be likened to an ark taking them to a new home and the fact that the letters have nothing to do with Tønsberg, Norway or New Asgard:

All other files regarding the further events of the people of IPB-ASG-001 can be found in IPB-ARK-001 and onwards.

Another possibility is it standing for “after Ragnarok”, but as ASG was referring to a physical place and not a time, it seems unlikely.

That would leave NIL. Let’s look at the context:

IPB-ASG-012 of IPB-NIL-001's destruction of IPB-ASG-001 has been deemed in totality.

IPB-NIL-001 seems to be another planet, one that IPB-ASG-012 is coming from. But this struck me as strange. The above sentence is talking about who is responsible for destroying Asgard, but the being in question has an ASG designation. Surtur is from Muspelheim, which not only doesn’t match the ASG code but doesn’t match NIL either. You could argue that Loki - who summoned Surtur - would fit ASG, but NIL doesn’t work for Jotunheim either.

Hela - who had long been banished to Niflheim - would, however, be a match on both counts. And to further bolster this theory, look at this line:

Cause of Displacement: Codename: Revengers (IPB-SAK-324) (see case file: IPB-ASG-012) 

The Revengers formed because Thor and Valkyrie wanted revenge against Hela, so it would make sense that to get further backstory on the Revengers, you should go look up Hela’s case file. So by this logic, this document is listing Hela as the one who destroyed Asgard, not Surtur or Loki.

I find this very interesting. I was under the assumption that Thor, Loki, etc got all of the remaining survivors out, but the death total of 9,719 made me wonder if that wasn’t the case. However if these are deaths caused by Hela, it could be that she killed over 9,000 people before Loki summoned Surtur to destroy the planet, so my initial assumption could still be true.

As for other unknown codes, IPB-ASG-010 could be referring to either the population of Asgard as a whole or the prophecy of Ragnarok based on these lines:

Casualties: 9,719 (Entire Civilization Annihilation) (file: IPB-ASG-010)

Event Causes: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-010

The first use seems to lean towards the population but the second leans more towards the prophecy.

IPB-ASG-895 seems to point to Ragnarok in general as it’s own file as it is the last of the Asgardian files:

IPB-ASG-895 will be the final file of the IPB-ASG sequence.

And on top of that, the file we can read - pertaining specifically to the Hela side of the destruction - says to look through IPB-ASG-895 for further details:

(Further case files can be found in IPB-ASG-895)

And IPB-TVA-001 is pretty obviously either the Timekeepers or the TVA in general. So knowing/guessing all we do of the codes, let’s insert them into the file:

EVENT INQUIRY DESTRUCTION OF ASGARD EVENT DETAILS

Event Analysis: Ragnarok (Class Seven Apocalypse): Total planetary body deletion of (1) Asgard (file: Asgard, planet)

Casualties: 9,719 (Entire Civilization Annihilation) (file: Asgard, prophecy)

Time Status: Displaced by 000:000:002:162

Cause of Displacement: Codename: Revengers (see case file: Hela) see case files: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-157, IPB-ASG-892

Event Summary: Full event analysis may be requested. Please see IPB-[TVA-452?]. Asgard fell 000:000:002:162 off [schedule in?] an attack by Hela. Hela was one of four (4) [possibilities?] for the event [IPB-ASG-893?]. These alternatives can be found on Page 7 of the Ragnarok file. Cause of displacement of the event was due to the Revengers, but with the completion of the event, the time variance displacement has been [deemed?] inconsequential by the TVA. Hela of Niflheim's destruction of Asgard has been deemed in totality. Ragnarok will be the final file of the Asgard sequence. All other files regarding the further events of the people of Asgard can be found in the Statesmen files and onwards.

RELATIVE CASE FILES Planetary Body: Asgard, Niflheim  Event Causes: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, Asgard, prophecy Displacement Causes: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-157, IPB-ASG-892, the Revengers

(Further case files can be found in the Ragnarok file)

---------------

There are still a few file codes we don’t know. I had initially wondered if these codes:

Cause of Displacement: Codename: Revengers (see case file: Hela) see case files: IPB-ASG-004, IPB-ASG-005, IPB-ASG-157, IPB-ASG-892

were meant to be for the members of the Revengers themselves (Thor, Valkyrie, Hulk, and Loki?), but Hulk isn’t Asgardian and therefore shouldn’t have an ASG designation, and Hela is #012, but she was born before Thor and Loki (who might actually have a Jotunheim code rather than an Asgardian code, come to think of it), so it’d be weird if they had lower numbers then she did. I suppose the #004 and #005 could be Odin and Frigga, but other than being Hela’s parents, I don’t see why their files would be listed under the cause of the event and displacement.

Which leads me to what the file is actually saying, which personally I find fascinating! But first off we have to address the elephant in the room:

The “Zero Variance Energy Detected” that is so prominent in close ups is not actually in the document. Obviously this was simply an oversight, and they didn’t want to redo the entire page, so for ease’s sake, we’ll just pretend it’s in there.

So, based on that, it’s easy to see how Loki came to his conclusions about the variant being able to hide in apocalypses as this file directly states that there WAS some amount of time displacement caused by the Revengers during Hela’s attack but that no energy variance was detected. But even more interesting is this line:

Hela was one of four (4) [possibilities?] for the event [IPB-ASG-893?]. These alternatives can be found on Page 7 of the Ragnarok file. Cause of displacement of the event was due to the Revengers, but with the completion of the event, the time variance displacement has been [deemed?] inconsequential by the TVA.

Hela was only one out of four different possibilities to destroy Asgard, so when Mobius says that “it’s more complicated than that” in response to Loki saying that a nexus event is caused by “someone doing something they’re not supposed to do”, he wasn’t kidding! I wonder what the four different possibilities were. Was Surtur considered one? Who else could possibly be in that position to not only cause the destruction of the planet but also have killed all those people? Just how much wiggle room is there in this Sacred Timeline?

And this wasn’t even the 100% “correct” version of events! Remember, the Revengers did something that either brought the event on quicker or caused it to happen later than the Timekeepers planned through their Sacred Timeline. Thor did say that Loki was “late” in showing up, so maybe this is a nod to that line from the film.

Anyway, it is getting quite late, and I have written a lot. I’m not entirely sure it all makes sense anymore, but I have been thinking about this a lot and wanted to put it out there in case anyone else had any differing ideas that made more sense, lol. If you made it this far, have a virtual high five! XD

(I’m just really loving this show so far, ok? lol)

[kinglazrus]

Deep Wounds Ch. 2 - What Now?

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Word count: 4069

It takes ten minutes for everyone to change and clear out. During that time, an invisible Danny floats in one of the shower stalls, his gym bag clutched to his chest, one hand clamped around his mouth. If it hadn't been for Dash's shout of "No!" he might not have hidden in time. Danny only had a few seconds to snatch up his bandages and bag—but not the gauze—before the first person entered.

It was Tucker, thankfully. He gaped when he saw Danny and quickly waved for him to hide. Just in time, too, since Elliot was only a few steps behind.

Now, Danny can only hear a single person shuffling about.

"It's clear," Tucker whispers.

Danny floats through the door of the shower stall, breathing a sigh of relief when he sees the empty change room. He drops his invisibility and dumps his stuff on the floor in favour of clutching his side. "Why didn't I stay home today?"

"Because you want to graduate this year and you can't afford another absence." Tucker grabs his gym shirt off the floor, revealing the forgotten gauze pad, and sighs at the new stains. "I really liked this shirt."

"Sorry, man."

"Dude, you are literally bleeding. Shut up. You don't need to apologize. Just be glad I got my shirt off before Elliot could see the damn thing." Tucker grabs the gauze, rolls it into a ball, and tosses it toward the garbage can. "Ten points!"

The gauze bounces off the rim and falls to the floor.

"Zero points," Danny says.

"Rude."

"Hey, I'm bleeding, remember?"

"That only gets you a pass from saying sorry, not common decency."

Danny's shoulders shake as he laughs. It hurts, making his left side throbbing, but trying to hold it back hurts worse. "Ow, ow, ow," he says, gasps of pain interrupting him. Curling over, he hugs his side even tighter, fighting back a sharp cry. The tension in his body doesn't help, but the pressure on his side feels good.

"Sam on her way?" Danny asks.

"She's grabbing the first-aid kit from my locker. I'll fix you up this time. We all know I have steadier hands." That A-plus in home ec isn't for nothing.

"Thanks," Danny mumbles.

"Yeah, dude. We've got you."

After Sam arrives, Tucker redoes Danny's stitches in record time. Half of the lunch hour has passed by the time Danny gets patched up, but he doesn't feel hungry anyway. Tucker takes his and Danny's bloody gym shirts and stuffs them into the first-aid kit.

"I need to refill on some supplies at home," Tucker explains. "I'll get rid of these there."

"Good idea. My mom found a pair of jeans I forgot to throw away after a fight with Skulker. I had a hard time explaining that one away," Danny says. The "I tripped into a window" excuse probably only works once, anyway. "But we have another problem."

"Dash?" Sam asks.

Danny nods. "Yeah. How did you know?"

"He was acting weird when gym ended. Wouldn't let anyone come inside until we pushed him out of the way."

"Huh." Danny certainly didn't expect that. Dash might be a downright bully anymore, but he's still not prone to random acts of kindness. "That's... weird." It doesn't make up for him tearing Danny's wound back open, even if it was an accident, but it's something.

"I think we might not have to worry about him," Sam says.

Danny stares at her, incredulous. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, actually. He could have done anything when he saw the rest of the class coming, including telling everyone that you were hurt. But he stopped them instead."

"But this is Dash."

"That's surprising coming from you."

"What does that even mean? You guys and Valerie are being so weird today. Come on, Tucker. Back me up." Danny looks at Tucker, fully expecting him to be on Danny's side.

Tucker doesn't respond right away. Biting his thumbnail, he stares ahead at the floor, deep in thought. That alone is enough to send Danny for a loop. When Tucker does answer, Danny's jaw drops in disbelief.

"I'm with Sam on this."

"For real?"

"Yeah, man. We don't even know what Dash thinks he saw, anyway. What happened when he walked in?" Tucker asks.

Danny tells them, sparing no detail.

"Oh, wow."

Sam shakes her head. "I'll say. I can't believe you wailed at him."

"Almost. I almost wailed at him. It was a baby wail at most. More of a hum," Danny says. He was just so surprised when Dash walked in. Danny's instincts took over and all he could think about was getting Dash out of there as soon as possible. He is lucky no one else came running.

"That already will have freaked him out. If we go around making a big deal about it and getting in his face, that'll make things worse." Sam stands up from the floor, stretching her arms over her head. She looks completely unconcerned, so does Tucker for that matter. Both of them are content to let Dash be. "Let's wait to see what he does. If he starts spreading rumours, we'll know right away, and then we can confront him."

"On the other hand, he might go to you, Danny, first," Tucker adds. He takes a bottle of Aspirin from the first-aid kit and presses it into Danny's hand before zipping the bag up. "He might not do anything."

The bottle of Aspirin rattles as Danny twists the lid off. "I can't believe you guys are okay with this." He dumps a couple of pills into his palm and tosses them back. Wordlessly, Sam passes him a water bottle. One quick swig is all he needs to help the pills go down. "He could be telling everyone right now."

"He could," Sam admits. "But he won't."

Sam and Tucker get up to leave, and Danny's forced to follow, or else get left behind. He trails after them, stiff, sore, and aching. The pills won't kick in for a while, and he loathes having to walk now. If he could get away with it, he would spend the rest of the day floating through the halls.

Tragically, he has a secret to protect. One that is very much at risk right now, despite what Sam says. Wherever she and Tucker are getting their confidence from, Danny doesn't share it. He just hopes they're right.

Dash tries to hold it in. He really does. The sound of Danny's anger bearing down on him, reverberating through the change room, hasn't stopped rattling around his head. But as lunch nears its end, the words burst out of him.

"I think Fenton is in a gang or something," Dash says.

The table falls silent.

Kwan freezes in place, hand halfway to his mouth, and a piece of meatloaf falls off his fork. "You... what?"

"I think Danny is in a gang," Dash repeats, softer.

His friends gape at him, equally confused. Mostly. Star doesn't even look up from her math homework. In fact, Dash thinks she's smiling, but he ignores it.

"Kwan, I thought you said Danny was the one who got hit during gym class," Paulina says. She pushes her lunch aside and leans across the table, lifting a hand to Dash's forehead. "Are you sure you got it right?"

"I'm fine, Paulie." Dash ducks under his hand and hunkers low to the table. When no one else moves, he gestures for them to come closer. Kwan does so immediately. Paulina rolls her eyes but obliges.

"I'm good," Star says.

"Okay, so, I checked on Fenton after dropping him off, 'cause he looked kind of bad, and I guess, I don't know. I felt... whatever. It doesn't matter. But like, he had this huge cut."

Paulina grins and leans in closer, finally looking invested. "You felt kind of 'whatever?'"

Dash scowls. "Seriously, Paulie?"

"You're the one who said it!" Paulina smacks the table, a fit of giggles bursting from her. It's her "I've found some juicy gossip" noise and Dash hates it.

"Did you even hear me? Huge cut and all that?" Dash says.

Kwan shrugs. "I don't know. His parents build a lot of crazy stuff, don't they? He probably hurt himself on one of those. Did you see that new gun they were toting around last week? It melted Mr. Lancer's car!"

"Oh, my God. I totally saw that. I felt so bad for him," Paulina says.

Dash frowns down at the table while the conversation plods on. True, everyone knows the Fentons have some crazy inventions. But everything they make, they make to hurt ghosts, not people. Everyone in town has been caught in the Fentons crossfire at one point or another. Dash still remembers the disgusting taste of the Fenton Foamers. Like warm, month-old key lime yogurt. Disgusting, but ultimately harmless.

And Danny didn't just have a little cut. It was huge. Dash only got a brief look at it, but that short glance told him everything he needed to know. Something, or someone, had hurt Danny. Rather than going to the hospital—because no trained professional would do such a sloppy job—Danny fixed it himself or got his friends to fix it. The injury had to be new, too, since it was still bleeding.

But stitches could bleed if you ripped them, didn't treat the injury right. Judging by the placement, Danny's stitches must pull every time he moves his arm.

Could one of his parents' guns have done that?

Now that Dash thinks about it, he doesn’t remember ever seeing Danny get hit with his parents' weapons. Not their guns, at least. They have that dumb boomerang thing that he's seen smack Danny on the back of the head. Actually, that one hits Danny a lot.

Dash's frown deepens, etching into his face. Why on Earth would one of Danny's own parents' inventions hurt him so much? Unless...

"Hey, guys?" Dash asks, interrupting Star mid-sentence.

"You found more proof of Fenton's gang activities?" Paulina asks.

"What if, like, someone's hurting him?"

"You mean one of his gang buddies?"

"No, Paulie, I'm serious. What if someone is hurting him?"

The table falls silent once more, but this time, his friends' expressions are serious rather than disbelieving.

Kwan lowers his voice. "Do you really think... I mean, Fenton?"

"Well..." Star taps her chin. "Where was he hurt?"

"Here." Dash taps his ribs on his left side, under his arm.

Star nods. "Okay. Are you sure he couldn't have, you know...." She trails off, but Dash already knows what she means.

"No way. He could hardly see the cut, much less do it himself. And it was bad."

"So he was hurt, badly, in a place that no one else would normally see. He didn't miss any school, so he probably didn't go to the hospital. Was it recent?"

Dash nods. "There was blood. Too much to just be because of the stitches."

Star drums her fingers on the table, nodding slowly. "I think you could be right."

The A-listers glance around the table, meeting each other's eyes. None of them say anything, but the same question lurks in all their minds. Now what?

In the days following the change room debacle, Danny avoids Dash like his life depends on it. Which it might. Any time he sees Dash in the hall, he turns right around and walks away. When they're in class, Danny stares straight ahead and refuses to look Dash's way. In gym class, Tetslaff lets him sit out, finally. Having Danny blackout on her after she forced him to play must have spooked her because she benches him before he can even ask not to play.

"No student of mine is gonna pass out on my watch. Twice," she says.

It won't last forever, but Danny will take what he can get, while he can get it.

But the thing is, Dash doesn't try anything. It's surreal. For the past four years, Danny has grown accustomed to Dash's constant harassment. Even when it dropped significantly in sophomore year, Dash never stopped. He threw erasers at Danny during class, tripped him in the halls, called out teasing names every chance he got.

"I'm not the only one who thinks this is weird, right?" Danny asks Tucker on the third day.

Already done his lunch, Tucker is thoroughly engrossed by his phone and doesn't look up as he replies. "You think everything is weird lately."

"Because it is."

"Missing your quality time with Dash?" Tucker flashes a quick grin in Danny's direction before returning to his phone.

"Har, har. You are so funny." Danny would have to be some kind of masochist to miss Dash's badgering. It's just... strange, not to have to watch the halls for him in that way. It doesn't make Danny watch any less—in fact, he finds himself looking for Dash more than before. So that he can run away if he gets close. Except Dash isn't even trying, and that annoys the hell out of him.

Tucker sighs, finally putting down his phone, and rests a hand on Danny's head. "Such a hopeless young soul. Can't even understand your own heart."

Danny slaps the hand away. "Says the guy who asked out every girl in school because they all made him feel the same way because it turns out he's super ace and didn't actually feel anything for any of them."

"And what an emotional journey that was." Tucker faces Danny head-on. "Look, Danny. If it's bothering you that much, then go talk to him. Feed him some excuse about what happened. Just remember that there's a reason Sam and I think it will be okay."

Danny ponders Tucker's advice for the rest of the day. The weekend starts tomorrow, which gives him two whole Dash-free days to think about the situation. Maybe a little time to himself as what he needs. He goes for a flight after school rather than walking home with Tucker; being in the air always helps clear his head.

He soars far above the city until he is little more than a pinprick to everyone far below. At the peak of his flight, his phone rings. The caller ID shows it's Jazz.

"What's up?" he greets his sister.

"Taken over my room yet?" Jazz asks.

"When you've only been at college for a month? Of course." It made a great storage space. Danny turns over to float on his stomach and starts drifting down like a leaf, falling back and forth on the wind.

"Well, I'm gonna need it back this weekend."

"Dropping out already?"

"You wish. I got a tutoring gig: two sessions—Saturday and Sunday. I don't want to do the two hours there and back both days, so I'm coming home for the weekend."

"I can't believe someone is actually paying to spend time with you. Hope the loser doesn't rub off on them."

Jazz laughs. "Pretty sure any loser on my came from you. And it's four people. Actually, you know them."

When Danny comes downstairs Saturday morning and sees Jazz's students at the kitchen table, he stops dead.

"You have got to be kidding me," he says.

"Hi, Danny!" Paulina waves, far too perky for nine in the morning. Squished around the table with her, Kwan and Star offer their own small waves. Dash looks straight down at his textbook.

"Goodbye." Danny pivots and marches back toward the stairs. Forget breakfast; he didn't want to eat, anyway. He can still have a nice, relaxing, Dash-free day in the confines of his bedroom.

A cascade of whispers reaches his ears as he hits the first stair. The A-listers murmur too quiet for him to make out what they're saying, although he thinks he catches his name more than once. Maybe they're talking about how uncanny it is being inside his house. Or, perhaps, they're discussing the new school nurse, Tammy. But even as he thinks it, he knows neither theory is true.

A chair screeches in the kitchen, the plastic capped legs scraping against the linoleum. Danny throws himself up the stairs.

"Oh, Danny, wait!" Paulina's silky voice follows him.

He jerks to a stop at the landing, cringing. How mad would she be if he ignored her? It's funny to think that a few years ago his heart would have leapt at Paulina calling out his name, back when he had a crush on her.

His toes curl against the carpet as he hesitates; the pros and cons of ignoring her run through his head. Pro: he won't have to deal with whatever scheme she's up to, and Paulina is most certainly up to something. Con: she might sic Dash on him, and he's the last person Danny wants to see right now. But that's a moot point because Dash is already here. After some humming and hawing, he grits his teeth and turns back around.

Paulina hangs out the kitchen doorway, greeting him with a bright smile.

"Yes, Paulina?" Danny asks.

It should be physically impossible for her smile to get any wider, and yet it does. "You're having trouble in science class, right?"

Danny hesitates. "Maybe. Why?"

"So are we! We came here for a study session with your sister, since she was Casper's best student in thirty decades. You should join us!"

"Isn't Star acing all her classes? And I thought science was your best class."

Paulina rolls her eyes and huffs, but without any malice. It reminds him of the look Tucker gives his little cousins when they are being intentionally obstinate. Danny flushes, suddenly feeling stupid even though he doesn't understand why.

"Yeah, we're good at it, but the boys aren't. Duh." She says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe it is. "It's easier to study in a group."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I like studying alone."

Paulina's smile doesn't fall, but it changes. Danny can't quite place what it turns into. Her mouth curves upward and her teeth are exposed; objectively, it's still a smile. But there's a new tension to it, one Danny only notices now, but he thinks might have been there the whole time, lurking behind the bright façade. His grip on the newel post tightens, the wood creaking beneath his finger.

At times like this, Danny wishes his ghost abilities included reading emotions. The look Paulina is giving him is important, he can feel it, even though he can't explain it. But it doesn't mean anything if he can't decipher it.

"If you say so." The moment shatters. Paulina withdraws back into the kitchen, leaving Danny alone and wondering if he missed something important.

Down the hall from him, Jazz's bedroom door opens. She emerges with an armful of books—old schoolbooks, Danny notes.

"Not hanging out with Sam and Tucker today?" she asks.

"Jazz, it's not even noon yet. I don't think Tucker's awake." Danny glances down the stairs toward the kitchen, mulling something over in his head. "I kind of want some alone time today. I know you're tutoring and everything, but could you make sure they don't bother me?"

Jazz frowns. "Is everything okay?"

"There was an... incident with Dash at school."

"Boy troubles?"

"Jazz!" Danny's entire face turns scarlet. "Please never say that about Dash." He lowers his voice. "It was ghost-related troubles."

Jazz's expression goes stony, her teasing smile replaced by a serious frown. "Do I need to take care of him for you?"

"Oh, my God, Jazz! Just keep him away from my room!" He marches the rest of the way to his room to the sound of Jazz's snickers and slams the door behind him.

When Paulina returns to the kitchen, Dash sits up straighter. She shakes her head as she reclaims her seat next to Star. Dash deflates again.

"I told you this wouldn't work," Dash says.

"Don't be so silly. That wasn't even plan A, although it would make things easier. Are you sure you didn't do anything to him in that change room?" Paulina asks.

Dash groans. "Please. Please never say anything like that again. It sounds so wrong."

"You're the one who took it that way."

Star and Kwan laugh at Dash's misfortune, watching him bury his face in his arms. When Star suggested they gather evidence, to confirm whether or not Danny was being abused at home, this wasn't what Dash expected. He pictured spy movie antics with them sneaking through the bushes dressed all in black, peeking through windows until they say something that proved—or disproved—their theory.

Things would go a lot easier if Dash could actually talk to Danny, but ever since that moment in the change room, he can't. He knows Danny has been avoiding him, which is better short term. If Danny walked up to Dash right now demanding to talk about what happened, Dash wouldn't know what to say.

How many times has he hurt Danny (pushed, kicked, body-checked) when he was injured? There's a possibility, however slim, that this was a fluke, the first time Danny has ever come to school injured. There have to be loads of reasons someone might not go to the hospital, such as bad insurance. Dash's cousin broke her nose once and let it heal crooked instead of going to the doctor since it was cheaper. He's heard stories of people sacrificing their health rather than paying exorbitant hospital fees. It's not impossible.

Except Danny's parents are inventors. They do projects for the government and can afford to throw money around for ridiculous ghost hunting contraptions. The Emergency Ops Centre only two floors above them must have cost millions. If that's the case, then surely his parents can afford a hospital visit for such a bad wound.

Dash doesn’t like to think about the alternative, but he has to. The alternative is the whole reason he and his friends are here.

That doesn't help with Dash's other dilemma, though. How is he supposed to talk to Fenton, now? Dash doesn't think he knows how to interact with Danny without some form of aggression. Even when he stopped outright bullying people, he never stopped with Danny. A push here, a shove there. It is instinct for Dash to stick his foot out if he sees Danny coming.

Danny even returns the favour, sometimes, growing bolder the older they became. Dash still doesn't know how Danny keeps getting into his stuffed bear collection, but it's not unusual for him to find one in his locker or sitting at his desk when he returns to class.

It's what they do. Dash can't help it. Any time he manages to trip Danny up enough that he gets a glare or a vengeful smile, it makes him feel good.

But he can't do that now. If Danny is actually getting hurt at home, Dash can't in his right mind keep agitating him. Just thinking about what he did to Danny's stitches makes him pale. He doesn't even want to think about what other wounds he's made worse over the years.

And he has. Dash knows this without a doubt. Thinking back on their interactions this year alone, more than five occasions come to mind where Danny grimaced, or flinched, or clutched some part of his body after Danny bumped his shoulder in the hall. It feels him with an indescribable dread, but the worst of it is he can't understand why.

He never knew Danny was injured; he can't be entirely to blame. Thinking that does nothing to assuage his guilt, though.

"Okay!" Jazz Fenton announces herself with a bright chirp. She clutches a stack of textbooks to her chest; books Dash recognizes from their classes. The idea that she stole them from the school flashes through his mind, but that's ludicrous. Jazz doesn't have a criminally minded bone in her body. If anything, she bought them, or the school gave them to her for being that amazing. Either option is more likely than her committing a crime.

Jazz slams the books down on the table directly across from Dash. She flashes him a brilliant smile as she sits and folds her hands over the table.

"So, Dash." She tilts her head. Her smile no longer looks kind. "I've heard some interesting things about you."

Previous | Next

[reidsconverse]

memories • spencer reid

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: none! just 4000 words of pure angst

This was an old fic reworked to be about around spencer so its taking a lottt of creative/artistic liberty with the character, so it kinda sucks im sorry! 😁

Every moment you had with him was one to be remembered and cherished for better or worse.

It had been a few weeks since Spencer had officially ended things, he had moved all of his stuff out of your apartment and now it seemed as if he had never even existed in the same place as you, as though you two were strangers. That is had it not been for the images of memories the two of you held. So, here you were sat alone in your room, your only company the half-empty bottle of wine and photographs of the two of you which sat strewn carelessly across your floor.

You picked up a picture and stared at it realising you both looked so happy. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder, a cup in his hand and his signature grin sitting across his face. Your head was leaning against his shoulder, the smile on your face reminding you of how free you had felt that night, you had never felt happier and you recognised that night as the night you realised...you were so in love.

"We should have a party," Spencer yelled despite there being no one else other than the two of you in the room.

"Right now?" You looked at him as if he was insane, not only was it completely out of character for your boyfriend but also, it was 1 am on a Wednesday and although your friends weren't those with a regular schedule you presumed most of them would decline a house party in the middle of the week.

"Yeah right now, c'mon doll I'll call Derek and some of the others and you call your friends." His hand was already on his phone texting Derek before you could protest so you followed his instructions and went ahead and invited your friends before getting up and preparing for this impromptu party.

It had only been 10 minutes when you heard Derek and some others open the door shouting for Spencer and you walked over with a grin on your face, "Hey D, Spencers being a diva and redoing his hair, he'll be right down." You said, rolling your eyes as Derek pulled you into a hug, he may have been Spencer's best friend but he thought of you as a sister and always treated you as such.

"Well I have look good for my girl," You heard Spencer say from behind you quickly placing a kiss on your cheek before doing his weird handshake with Derek, "Hey, thanks for coming'."

The three of you made your way to the kitchen to grab some drinks and greet some more guests who had congregated in that area and before you knew it, you were 4 shots in, feeling way past tipsy and in the mood to dance.

"Hey Spence," You said walking over to where he was now sat, a cup in his hand as he held a conversation with JJ and Emily about something that you didn't care too much about. You waved a quick hello to the girls so as not to be rude and then placed your head on his shoulder to let him know of your presence.

"Hey darling, you feeling good?" He turned his face and flashed you a wide grin before wrapping an arm around you to pull you close to him. He enjoyed being near you whenever he could, when he was away he would long for the days where all he did was sit and hold you close to him regardless of what the two of you were doing, so now whenever he had the chance he would hold you close.

"Feelin' great Spence.. wanna dance with you..."  You said pulling out of his hold and grabbing his hand leading him onto the 'dance floor', which was just the open space in your living room. He laughed and quickly finished his drink, discarding the cup somewhere in the room and held you as you both danced to the music playing through the speakers.

After a couple of songs, you both made your way to get another drink and get a break from the crowd, you sat at the kitchen island and passed him a drink."You know, considering you're a genius, I would've thought you'd be able to coordinate a bit better."  You said teasing him about his choice of moves which had essentially been him waving his arms in the air attempting to be in tune with the music.

He looked at you in fake shock and scoffed, "Yeah well it was still better than whatever you were trying to do." Referring to your horrendous attempt at trying to be sexy which in truth was never going to be anything but embarrassing. You stuck your tongue out in a childish manner causing him to laugh and quickly move to place his lips against yours giving you a soft kiss.

You jumped down from the counter after pulling back as a couple of your friends walked in and struck up a conversation about nothing interesting yet you made the effort to look engaged as Spencers's arm slipped over your shoulders and you placed your head against his shoulder.

"Hey guys, look here." You both turned to see your friend Harry, as always with a polaroid camera in his hand. You and Spencer gave each other a quick smile before grinning wide for the camera, both your faces full of love and happiness.

You sat there thinking about how quickly things can change, the people in the image you held so young and naive to the struggles the future would hold. Taking another sip of your wine you skimmed through some more pictures before stopping at one that held a bittersweet meaning. A picture that was taken a few days after what had been your worst fight, you both looked happy but all you could think about the events leading up to the image being taken.

It was your and Spencers 5th anniversary and he had promised he would make it to dinner. You hadn't seen each other in weeks because he was away on a case but he had promised he wouldn't miss this day, he had asked for permission from Hotch to leave for a couple of days so he would be there. "No excuses, No ifs and buts...I'll be there babe. I promise."

But there you were, alone at a table for two. The look on the waiters face held nothing but pity as he walked over for the fourth time to ask if someone would be joining you. Finally, you gave up and shook your head to let him know you would be leaving and would like the cheque. You had never felt so humiliated walking out of the restaurant head held high but tears building up in your eyes and so you cried. You felt so broken, almost as broken as all those promises Spencer had made you. The word promise and sorry had lost all meaning in the last 5 years, simply a courtesy rather than meaningful.

The minute you got home your phone began ringing, it was Spencer.

"Hey doll, I'm so sorry I couldn't make it, the team wanted to go out last night and I kind of missed my -." He began to explain causing you to scoff, 'no ifs or buts' my ass.

"How could you?" Your voice cracking as you tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill for the second time that night. "I waited for 2 fucking hours Spencer, I felt like a fucking idiot."  

"What? What are you talking about?" His voice was full of confusion. "Didn't you get my text?"

"No, I fucking didn't. I didn't get a fucking text. But that's not the fucking point, You should've been here, you promised you would be here."

"Babe, I'm so -," He began but you knew what he was gonna say. The only conversations you seemed to have were stuck on a loop like a broken record.

"Save it. Don't say you're sorry when you don't mean it, stop saying sorry and show it instead."

"Look, I'll get on the first flight out. I'll see you in a few hours, I'll make it up to you I prom-." You hung up the phone before he could continue, his promise worth nothing to you anymore. Walking over to the couch, you fell asleep the minute your head rested against one of the many cushions populating the seat.

You woke up to keys jingling in the door, yet you made no effort to move from where you were. The sound of his footsteps got louder as he approached.

"Babe? I know you're up." He said, kneeling beside you making you sigh and sit up. "Babe, I'm so sorry. I fucked up."

You just stared at him, it might have been petty but you didn't want to give in to his apologies just yet, he had to understand just how much he had hurt you first.

"I couldn't care less anymore, Spencer. I just need to remember that I'll always come second to work and that's fine, it's important to you and I understand that." You got up and walked over to the kitchen to gather yourself.

"Babe you are the most important thing to me, I'm sorry-."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. "Here we go again, Spencer there's only so many times you can say you're sorry before it loses all meaning. I'm sick and tired of this, I don't know if I can do this anymore. You're never here, you make promises you can never keep and I'm pretty sure you've told me you're sorry more times than you've told me you love me."

"Please don't do this. I love you." His voice was shaking, breaking down at the thought of you leaving him. He moved over to you and turned you so you were facing him. "I know this means nothing to you but I am so sorry. I've been so shitty to you and I know it."

"Spencer, I deserve better than this and I'm sick of forgiving you and acting like I'm fine with how you treat me, you might not mean it but it fucking hurts. I love you so much and I know you love me but would it kill you to put me first for once in your fucking life."

This annoyed him, the lack of sleep and being overworked leaving him less patient and more irritable, "That's not fucking fair, you knew what you were signing up for when you started dating me, I'm doing my fucking best. I go to work for US, to support US. If I could devote all of my time to you if I could, but I can't and it fucking kills me. You can't understand how much I miss you when I'm not here."

Tears welled in your eyes seeing him breakdown, unable to keep up the unbothered facade you had on, "I just...Spence, I miss you too. It hurts not being able to be near you and so when you're not there when you promise you will be, it hurts it really fucking hurts not to mention it's terrifying, how am I supposed to know you're ok if you do shit like that."

He pulled you into his arms as you sobbed into his chest, all the emotions you'd kept bottled up during the argument letting go. "I know baby, I'm so sorry I hurt you. I promise, and I mean it this time, I won't let you down again. I love you." He mumbled into your hair, slowly kissing your forehead whilst consoling you and holding you like he never wanted to let go.

The two of you went to bed that night in silence, not a word was spoken until the next day wherein Spencer switched off his phone and dedicated the whole weekend to you and only you. He kept his word once he had to leave, always fulfiling his promises, never pushing you to the side and communicating with you always. The two of you felt strong again, you were happy.

You put your glass down and walked out of your room and began pacing around the living room, pictures of you and him still up on your walls, the walls that no longer belonged to the both of you. You thought back to when he asked you to move him, how nervous he was and how excited you were.

It was movie night at Spencers house. Each week he invited everyone over to watch a film, everyone taking it in turns to select a film. This week Emily had chosen Midsommar, a film you were yet to see so you were excited. You were sat beside Spencer on the loveseat, his arm around you and your face resting against his chest, a blanket covering you both for extra comfort. You looked up and saw Derek and Penelope lay spread across the floor whilst JJ and Emily sat on the sofa. Bowls of popcorn and sweets were scattered around the room and beer bottles were piling up. It was nights like this that you wanted to treasure forever, for the first time you felt like you had a family, people to call your own, people you could trust.

"Watcha thinking about?" Spencer asked, glancing at you and realising your mind wasn't directed at the movie anymore.

"Nothing, just really lucky to have you in my life," You reached your hand up to hold his face and gave him a soft kiss. "I love you."

He pulled you in closer if that was even possible, "I love you too."

"Ugh, get a room." Derek groaned making you both chuckle.

Spencer responded by throwing some popcorn at him, "Aw is someone jealous, don't worry you'll find someone soon enough."

Derek murmured a quiet, "Fuck off" before turning his attention back to the movie, making everyone laugh.

The movie ended shortly and everyone was discussing what to watch next, you were in the mood for a comedy but Derek wanted to watch Die Hard for the millionth time. After several minutes of slight arguing, you finally decided on rewatching Moana for the 12th time.

Everyone was pretty much settled, drinks refilled, popcorn replenished and everyone back in their positions. Emily was about to press play before JJ stopped her, "Wait before you start I'm kinda cold can I borrow a sweater?" She asked Spencer.

"Yeah sure, take one from our room." He said casually like it was normal but it made your breath hitch in your throat, did he just say our room? As in, yours and his. Unofficially he wasn't wrong, it was your room as much as his, you spent pretty much every night here making having your own apartment redundant, but he hadn't yet asked you to move in with him. You couldn't help the small blush on your face and the way your lips turned upwards at his words. It made you happy knowing he thought of it as something for both of you.

"What has you so happy?" Penelope asked in a teasing tone, she'd picked up on Spencer words and knew exactly why you were smiling.

You just stuck your tongue out at her and looked up at Spencer, "Our room huh?" You asked making him smile.

"Yeah I mean, you're here every day, maybe more than I am. You should just move in at this point." He let out a little laugh after he said leaving you confused as to whether he was being serious, so you just laughed along and waited for JJ to come back so you could start the movie.

A couple of hours later almost everyone was half asleep, everyone apart from you and Spencer. You began making your way to his room followed by him carrying the blanket he had taken from his bed. The two of you went about your night routine, Spencer had insisted on keeping at least half of your things at his place hence why you never had to leave. You quickly changed into one of his shirts which fit you just right and climbed into bed where he was already sitting, reading a book.

"Spence, were you being serious...earlier when you said I should move in?" You asked him, making him put down his book and look at you.

"Would you like that? You don't have to say yes but I would love it if you moved in. The mornings when I wake up and you're still next to me, are the best mornings. Honestly, knowing I'm going to wake up next to you makes falling asleep easier. Plus Tesla and Edison love you, maybe even more than they loves me." He asked, the mention of his fish making you laugh despite the fact your eyes were welling up, what had you done to deserve the sweetest man to walk the earth.

You shifted yourself so you were straddling him and held his face in your hands, "I would love to move in with you." You answered placing a soft kiss to his lips.

"I love you so much," He said as you moved back to laying down next him. "You make me the happiest man alive and I'm so lucky to have you."

"God, Spence you gotta stop before I start crying, I love you too." You said, as he laughed and pulled you into a comfortable sleeping position.

"Goodnight love." He mumbled, already falling asleep.

"Goodnight Spence." You responded, closing your eyes and beginning to drift off but not before saying, "By the way, the fishies definitely love me more."

You hadn't realised you were crying until a tear fell onto the frame you were holding. The image just as blurred as the memories it held. You carefully placed the image face down onto the table rather than placing it back up. Making your way to the sofa, you got your phone out and glanced at the image that had left you in this state. A picture of him and her, his hands holding hers as tight as they once held yours, the grin on both of their faces wide. He was happy, only it wasn't because of you anymore. You closed your eyes again, remembering how it all ended.

He had been distant since he had come back from this last case, he had been away for almost two months trying to catch this unsub and you had thought he'd be more excited to come back to you and finally be home. But he hadn't spent more than 10 minutes with you, the only time the two of you were in the same room for longer than that was when you fell asleep. Recently that had also stopped, he spent more nights away from home and at clubs with Derek and Emily , only coming back once he knew you weren't there. It was killing you but every time you questioned it he shrugged you off, telling you he loved you.

You wanted to scream at him if he loved you why isn't he showing it, why does he refuse to acknowledge you. You knew he was lying to you, he didn't love you anymore, you could see it in his eyes, how he never looked at you as he used to, he never held you like he used to. It was killing you and you knew you should ask him but you also knew that would lead to conversation you didn't want to have, an ending you didn't want to happen. So you kept quiet, went about your day and didn't question his actions, you had decided you would rather have the worst of him than not have him at all.

But that didn't last long. A few weeks later something happened, something you could ignore. Spencer had barely been home, only coming back to grab new clothes and leaving again often returning at 4 am or not all. The nights you spent alone, his side of the bed going cold broke your heart bit by bit. But you weren't ready for it to completely shatter, the images Penelope sent you of him holding that girl, a little too close, a little too tight, a little too much, start to fill your screen causing a lump in your throat and tears threatening to spill. You walked to the kitchen, surprised to see him there, he was sat at the counter head in his hands and a coffee in front of him.

"Spencer, what fuck is going on?" You all but shouted.

"Shh, my heads killing me." He said, burying his head in his hands attempting to block you out.

"You fucking asshole." You screamed at him, the pain and hurt evident in your broken voice as you tried your best not to cry.

This made him look up, far quicker than he should've causing his head to fill with pain and throb, but he didn't care, the memories of last night were coming back he knew he had fucked up. "I-I'm sorry, I was drunk and she was just there, nothing happened.

"You're sorry? Are you fucking kidding me?" You said, moving away from him as he got up to come closer to you. "No, don't fucking touch me. I'm done."

"What? No look I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I love you." The words were said, but the tone held so much uncertainty you couldn't tell if he was trying to convince you or himself.

"No you don't Spencer, not anymore. I know you don't and I've been lying to myself, saying that I'm ok with it when I'm not. I love you so much but I can't keep hurting myself by pretending like we're fine, We're not fine, we haven't been for a long time. Yes that fucking hurts, I thought we were forever, I thought we were going to grow old together and have kids and show them that we were soulmates. I thought we were perfect but we aren't."

"I never wanted to hurt you, I love you so much but-" He started with a sigh.

"You're not in love with me anymore..." You finished for him

"I'm so sorry. I wish things were different, I wish I could control how I felt. You were everything to me, I really did picture a future for us but things changed, I don't know why and I don't know how. You don't deserve this, I'm so sorry."

"I know Spence, I know." You moved closer to him and he held you like it was the last time... because it was. "I'm sorry too."

You pulled away from him."I'll grab some stuff and go stay at my mom's for a few days. I just need to find a new place to move my stuff to." You said, trying to brush some tears away but failing as they kept falling.

"No, it's fine. I'll go, this is just as much your home as it is mine. I'll stay with Derek for a bit, you take your time sorting stuff out ok?" He said, using his thumbs to attempt to wipe away your tears. You sighed but nodded knowing he wouldn't take no for an answer.

You sat down as he went to the room to gather some things, your mind reeling from the last half hour. How could so much change in such a short period of time, years spent together thrown away so quick.

"I'm done, I'll get going ok?" He said placing his duffel bag down beside by the door.

"So this is it huh?" You said, with a sigh. You felt him walk towards you and take a seat next to you.

"The last 10 years have been the most incredible time of my life, you put up with so much of my shit and loved me unconditionally and I can't thank you enough for giving the eager 25-year-old who wanted nothing more than to impress you a chance. I'm never going to stop loving you, you know that. I'm never gonna forget about you, my first love, the first woman to capture my heart. I'm so sorry things didn't work out like how we'd imagined them. If I could change how I feel I would, I wanted nothing more than for this to be a silly phase, for me to wake up one day and feel how I felt again. But it didn't happen and it fucking sucks."

"I get it, Spence, you have to do what makes you happy and I'm not gonna stop you. I'm just sorry it wasn't me that could give you want and need, but you're gonna make some girl out there very happy if you're even half the man you were when you were with me." You gave him a soft smile as he stroked your hair and kissed your forehead.

He stood up and walked to the door. "Call me when you're ready ok? I love you." He turned and gave you a soft smile before picking up his bag and walking out the door.

You just broke down, you don't know how long you sat there sobbing your heart out but it felt like forever. Everything hurt so bad you didn't think you'd ever feel any emotion other than heartbreak for as long as you lived.

You took a deep breath as your hand hovered over the delete button on your phone, it was time to move on just as he had. As you released the breath you were holding, your finger pressed against the button, deleting all the pictures you had with him and you felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders and the realisation sunk in.

You loved him so much, but he wasn't yours to love anymore.

He was just a memory.

-

tagged: @gcblers​ @187-reid​ @mgg-theprettiestboy​ @mggbler​ @snitchthewitch​

[waatermelon-sugaar]

Want to kiss?

Pairing = Poe x reader

Words = 5.2k

Summary = You and Poe are friends. Acting married won’t lead to anything. Will it?

Warnings = SMUT (18+only); semi-public fingering, semi-public grinding, implication of a bj, also language 

A/N =  Prompt no.23 requested by @witchyavenger as part of my 300 follower celebration, thanks so much, hope you like it! Prompt was “Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now?” w/ Poe  and bolded in text

Also i might have concentrated more on the smut, than the plot, so if there are a couple of plot holes, that’s why, im not sorry 

Posted to AO3

Masterlist

You weren’t looking forward to this. 

A small, masochistic part of you was, but the larger part of you, the more sensible part, wanted to scream at the prospect. 

Pretending to be a couple with Poe, to have the real thing so close in front of you, yet knowing that you couldn’t, made you want to cry. In fact, you already had. 

The two of you had been briefed together, and told you would be acting as married senators at a gala. The way Poe’s face had tightened at the word ‘married’, made your chest hurt. He hadn’t said anything, but he didn’t need to before you’d drawn your own conclusions. 

You’d tried not to think about it too much as the briefing had continued, swallowing the sudden lump in your throat, and having to blink a little faster. You’d managed to keep it together until you’d gone back to your room, where you’d immediately burst into tears. 

Poe couldn’t even stand the idea of being married to you?

You knew he wasn’t interested in you like that, but that hurt. Hurt more than you’d anticipated. Poe only had to pretend for a mission. And he didn’t want to do that? Now you’re sitting in front of the mirror, and you blow out a big breath. Not right now. Your make-up’s half on, and you don’t have the time to redo it if you start crying, now of all times. 

And the truth was, it shouldn’t hurt as much as it did. You knew Poe. He was your friend and Commander, nothing more. He’d never given you any indication that he’d ever wanted more, never acted as anything but a good friend to you.  

Now you were in the bathroom of a hotel on Coruscant, and Poe was next door and stars you had to share a bed tonight but you didn’t even want to think about that yet . All you had to do was finish your make-up, do your hair, put your fancy dress on, hope that Poe could bear to pretend to be married to you while the two of you looked for an opportunity to sneak upstairs, break into Senator Sewinn’s office, and gather any incriminating evidence stored there. Simple.

And that wasn’t counting getting out, and sharing a bed with Poe tonight, before your ship departed for the Resistance base tomorrow. 

To put it simply, you were fucked. 

But you’d pushed the emotions away, not wanting to address it. Not wanting to have that horrendous conversation. After all, it wasn’t a crime for someone not to fancy you. 

Now you took a moment for yourself, looking up at the corner where the wall met the ceiling, and exhaling deeply. 

Ok, think. What’s your first job? Make up. 

You took your routine step-by step, finishing your makeup and hair, and pulling your dress on. You took the time to admire yourself in the mirror before you stepped out to face Poe, knowing that he was no doubt going to look absolutely dashing, while not caring either way about your appearance. 

You knew that, except you did look good, even if you said so yourself. You let yourself breathe once more, hands fluttering out any invisible creases in the front of your dress. It had a nice cut for your chest, falling to the floor with a split down your right leg. 

Ok. “Poe?” You knocked on the door before you returned to your room, not wanting to catch him in the middle of changing.

“I’m ready!” Comes the response, and you can’t help yourself, exhaling heavily again before greeting Poe. 

You’d been prepared. Or so you thought.

You’d never seen Poe in a suit before, and it’s more than you could have ever imagined. He fills it out nicely, shoulders looking broader than ever. He’s brushed his hair neatly back, curls subdued for the night. They look darker than ever, strands curling over the back of his collar. Desire and heat are pooling low in your belly, your eyes slow in their movements as they graze over him

He’s freshly shaved after his shower, bronze skin glowing in the yellow light of the lamps scattered around the room. Your mouth is dry, and your breath shaky again. Poe’s looking at you funny, and you must be staring, so you clear your throat, shaking your head a little. 

His tie is slightly to one side, so you step towards him like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Can I-?” Your voice is a murmur as your hands reach out, one going to the centre of Poe’s neck. You straighten his tie, ignoring the warmth of his body below your hands and step back. 

You hadn’t realised how intimate that would feel, how close you’d have to get, and now you feel overwhelmed, your body heating up, your heart beating faster. Poe’s looking at you with a strange look in his eyes, like he can’t quite figure out what your motives are, he can’t decide what you want. 

Only, it’s not unusual, is it? Poe’s always been a touchy-feely person, hugging, holding hands, touching whenever he could, it didn’t tend to matter who it was, or what the situation was. 

Except this feels different somehow, heavier. Like you crossed a line in your friendship that you weren’t aware existed. That the intimacy of fixing Poe’s tie, being this close to his body is teetering beyond friendship. Poe’s still looking at you with this heavy gaze, and maybe there’s something in his eyes, but you can’t bear to meet them, can’t bear to face the rejection you’ll find there.

So you swallow, fixing your gaze on the section of wall just to the left of his face, ignoring how your palms are singing from touching Poe, even through his shirt. They itch to do it again, hungry for more, and it takes all of your self control to stop yourself and to take a step back, widening the space between you. 

“Shall we go?” You’re the first to speak, and at your words, Poe seems to snap out of it, closing down, any softness in his eyes, in his face, disappearing. 

He nods, stiffer than he normally is around you, and you can only hope that he’ll loosen up when you get downstairs. “Here's your ring.” He reaches into his breast pocket and hands you a wedding band, gold and simple.

And you’ve been so distracted by the top half of him that you hadn’t seen his on his ring finger, hanging loosely at his side. You don’t say anything as you slip the cold jewellery on, your heart stuttering at the implication of something so plain. 

Stepping out of your room, you take Poe’s offered elbow, and the two of you start your descent to the lobby. It takes you a while to get used to the breeze on your right leg, where your skin is exposed. The building is an old one, corridors extending in every direction with bedrooms and storerooms scattered in a seemingly random order. The lift is quiet, muzak playing faintly out of a tiny speaker. 

“We’ve got this,” you murmur under your breath reassuring yourself. Poe looks at you, but doesn’t say anything, just patting your hand where it rests on his arm. 

The transformation in him when you step into the hall is amazing. His smile, which you recognise enough to tell it’s fake, spreads across his face, and as you enter, he turns his head to your ear, murmuring, “I didn’t tell you how beautiful you looked before.” 

There’s suddenly no air as you turn to look back at Poe, that familiar grin tugging on his lips. Your faces are close again, like a married couples, and you don’t try to hide the pleased look that’s clear across your face, feeling more flustered than you expected. 

His eyes are encouraging, and you’ve never noticed how warm they are, what a soft brown. They’re lighter than you thought, having never been so close to his face before, dark irises increasing in size as he looks at you, waiting for your response. 

You’re married, remember?

So you press your cheek to his smooth one, with a soft “thanks.” 

You turn back to the crowd, missing how Poe’s gaze catches on you for a second longer than normal, instead concentrating on how no one noticed you walk in. Good. The room is busy already, you and Poe one of the last stragglers arriving. Soft music, not dissimilar to the one in lift is playing, largely drowned out by voices chattering away.

The ballroom is light and airy, yellow lamps creating a warm atmosphere, with a marble floor that causes your steps to click. There’s a bar near the entrance, and a stage to your left. 

The beginning of the night is spent hanging off Poe’s arm, making conversation with Senators about brain-dead topics, Poe’s hand moving to squeeze yours in warning whenever you make a slightly too sarcastic comment, usually about the First Order really having an impact, and how it was about time someone made a monopoly of the galaxy anyway. 

You push down the urge to be more sarcastic, if only to feel Poe’s skin on yours again. 

No one seems to notice, especially not when you start to zone out, looking for opportunities to sneak away. The office had to be around this room somewhere; hours of poring over maps of the building had revealed a lot of empty space around the ballroom. And now Senator Sewinn was walking out of a concealed door in the back right of the room, which had to led to his office. 

Unfortunately, he and a number of other important, puffed up looking peacocks of politicians seem intent to stand right in front of it, drawing, if anything, more attention to the door. 

You huff, unknowingly scowling. What was the point of a secret door when you act like that? You may as well make a sign saying ‘Secret, Do Not Enter.’

“You alright, sweetheart?” Poe’s the one to drag you back to where you are, and you do one of those smug, self-centred couple smiles, one that you’d seen far too often, smoothing out your face. 

“Yes, sorry honey.” You step back from the group, suddenly needing a moment. “If you’ll excuse me.” You direct this to the rest of the group, mumbling something about getting a drink, stumbling away, sure they won’t miss you. Poe’s behind you, his presence both stifling and a comfort. 

When you reach the bar, his hand is on the small of your back, and he’s still so warm. How can his hand spread heat through your body like this? Through your dress? “Hey,” his mouth is by your ear again while you wait for the bartender. “What’s wrong?” 

You shake your head, unsure yourself. “I don’t know Poe. Nothing.” Maybe it’s him. You can’t look directly at him, fearing you’ll combust. 

It’s definitely him. 

But instead, you turn your mouth back to his ear, close enough your mouth just grazes his earlobe as you talk. “Senator Sewinn isn’t leaving the door behind him.”

Poe looks behind you in a casual sweep of the room as you order two drinks. 

When he turns back, his chest is pressing against you now, his arm around your waist, caging you into the bar, and you hope you don’t look as hot as you feel. You practically vibrate under his touch, the urge to push back into him stronger than ever. Poe’s blazer isn’t buttoned up, and it’s almost around you, you can feel the silk of his tie on your back.

Your breath sticks in your throat as he bends to whisper, again. This man is going to kill you. “Good spot sweetheart.” 

Don’t press your hips back into him, you remind yourself, he’s there, but don’t do it. 

You can smell the cologne Poe’s wearing too, the one he only uses on really special occasions and it’s making your head spin. Maybe you need some air. 

You accept the drinks from the bartender, passing over some credits and turning in Poe’s arms, the cold glasses in your palms helping you a little, distracting you from the heat which seems to have settled in your core, pulsing in between your legs. 

Except now you’re facing Poe, facing those warm brown eyes, and are they darker than they were before? Is this better or worse? Face to face, or chest against your back? 

He’s licking his lips as he’s taking the drink from you and you’ve never wanted to kiss someone so bad. Breathe, in and out. 

“Don’t worry, they’ll move,” it takes a second for you to tune back in, to realise what Poe is talking about. “Sewinn has to make a speech at the other end of the hall, we’re to move then, when everyone’s distracted, remember?” 

His voice is soft, quiet, and you do remember, that the movements he’s describing are all part of the plan, have been ever since the brief, but this man who’s crowding you into the bar, the sharp edge cutting a vertical line into your back, is distracting you from the mission. 

This mission, which is important for the Resistance. 

The mission, which you can’t fail at. 

And, more than that, you can’t let Poe down. 

He’s not interested, you have to remind yourself when a pang of disappointment shoots through you as he steps back. This is fake, you’re fake married. 

Somehow the reminder doesn’t help. 

You sip your drink, cold liquid shooting down your throat as you look anywhere but at him. 

The introductory section drags. You don’t return to the group you were talking to before, instead choosing to stay near the bar, exchanging the odd observation with Poe, the two of you consistently getting closer than you really need to talk. 

He’s acting more normal now, his smile more natural as he relaxes. His hand has found a home on you, it doesn’t seem to matter where, moving from your shoulder to your back to your waist. You don’t dare mention it, afraid he’ll stop, when that’s the last thing you want. 

Sometimes you feel like a black hole, desperately looking for love and touch, and sucking up whatever you can find, always needing more. You hate to think that maybe that’s what you cherish most about your friendship with Poe - that even as his friend, he touches you, and hugs you, and gives you a kiss. Although it does spark the idea of Poe being cuddly in bed, that if you ever went out with him, he would always try and have his hands on you. You allow yourself these soft dreams for a moment, before tuning back in before Poe can notice. 

You’ve nearly finished your drink when the quiet background music starts to fade, and to your delight Sewinn begins to move. The crowd easily parts for him, and you wonder briefly what it is about him that makes people so responsive. What would it be like to have that kind of power? 

You grasp Poe’s hand, feeling his calluses on your palm when he makes his move, pulling him to stay with you a second longer. “Wait for him to settle,” you say, knowing there’s no rush, yet. 

And so you do, the two of you standing shoulder to shoulder, pretending to listen to the senator’s drivel. And then he turns, looking for the trophy he’s using to make his announcement more convincing, and you pull Poe along the back wall, still holding his hand as you lean against the hidden door and allowing a grin as it clicks open. 

And you’re in. 

You blink in surprise when you realise it’s really been that easy. You’d expected at least a locked door to get in the way. But no, you’re standing in the Senator's office, looking at a large desk, footsteps suddenly muffled by the plush carpet and still holding Poe’s hand. 

You drop it like you've been burned, not daring to look at Poe as you go to the other side of the desk. There’s bookshelves around all the walls, creating a slightly dark and gloomy look, especially in contrast with the light ballroom next door. 

You start going through the drawers as Poe plugs in the holostick that he’d been given, downloading files for later reading. Most drawers contain useless information, files on drinks needed for the party, a bill for the band later, business cards and other junk. There’s one locked drawer you can’t open, even when you try and pick it. 

You give it a kick in frustration when it still doesn’t open, earning a snicker from Poe. “Did that help, sweetheart?”  

You scowl at him, not bothering to answer, and determined to not mention the fact that your foot really hurts now. “How long left?” you ask, deflecting instead.

“Two minutes,” is the answer and you nod, going to one of the bookshelves, hand idly tracing down a number of spines. None are in a language you recognise, and when you turn back to tell Poe so, you find him leaning against the desk and watching you. His legs seem longer at this angle, thighs … bigger. And you’ve seen this man with a harness wrapped around his legs like a second skin. 

You wonder what it would be like to … You shake your head before you can finish that thought, mouth dry even as you remind yourself that Poe’s your friend. Your friend. “I can’t read any of these,” you tell him instead, watching his head snap up to meet your eyes as you talk. 

And then a lot of things happen very quickly. 

Before Poe can respond, the holostick beeps, he unplugs it, just as the door to the ballroom clicks open. Before you can react, he’s closing the steps between you, holostick clasped in a fist, crowding you into the bookshelf behind you. When he speaks, it’s a low, quiet, “I’m sorry,” his forearm coming to rest next to your head, and you can smell him again, eyes falling closed like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

The scent is familiar and grounding, and even as your heart rate picks up, you feel calmer, Poe’s other hand holding your cheek. His head turns, your noses bumping and his lips are so close to you … he’s going to kiss you.

And then he stops, except he’s moving like he is kissing you, and you realise his hand is connecting your two faces and there’s someone else in the room, so you don’t think, you just react. You widen your legs so Poe can step between them, and you let out a breath, nearly but not quite grinding on his leg, moaning low in your throat as one of your hands flies to the nape of Poe’s neck.

“Excuse me!” The guard’s voice is sharp, and cross, which is fair enough, you later reason, when you think that you wouldn’t want to find two people snogging in your boss’s office. Awkward one to report, that. 

Poe is slow to separate from you, his eyes dark when he opens them, and you're breathing embarrassingly fast considering he didn’t actually kiss you. He turns, standing just in front of you, a protective stance, whether he realises it or not. 

“Sorry, sir,” his voice is more hoarse than normal, and you never realised what a good actor Poe is. You sheepishly smile at the guard who just huffs and ushers you outside, grumbling about how disrespectful the two of you are and warning you not to do it again. 

The two of you stand in the hall, Sewinn just wrapping up his speech. Your head is spinning and you can’t think. 

Poe seems entirely unaffected by the whole thing, winking at you as he grins, joining in with the clapping at the end of the speech. You copy him, but you feel like you’re moving at half the speed of everyone else, your whole body screaming to be surrounded by Poe again. 

“Are you alright?” Poe asks you, and is it that obvious that you aren’t? You can only nod, not trusting your voice to be steady. “I’m sorry … about, in there, I just-”

“Stars, Poe.” You interrupt, not wanting to hear it. “It’s fine, it was good, quick thinking on your part.” You force a smile, and if Poe notices, he drops it. “We did it, though,” You add after a second, the silence between you somehow worse. 

Poe grins, and you know you’ll be ok, the breathless, hot feeling gradually fading, your senses tuning back into the room around you, hearing the band setting up, everyone moving around you. “We did.” Is all he says, extending his hand in mock performance when the band start playing. “May I have this dance?”

You allow yourself to relax, graciously accepting it. “Why, kind sir, of course!” The two of you are giggling as you start to dance, neither of you aware of what the steps are, just concentrating on having a good time. The music isn’t particularly great; the stuffy sort that politicians think make them look classy, when really it just makes them look like pretentious assholes. 

You both get bored of this pretty soon, Poe losing his jacket as the two of you get warmer and warmer, dancing ridiculously in a corner. 

When your feet begin to hurt you pull on Poe’s hand, taking him away from the dancefloor. The hall is hot, and you want fresh air. You feel flushed, the cold air nice on your warm cheeks. 

You’re walking along the corridor back to your room, talking about the best song you’d play to start a party. Poe’s jacket under hanging off his arms, hands stuffed in his pockets. You try not to look directly at him too much as the two of you discuss better songs. “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy is one that would definitely get everyone going.” Poe says it likes it’s the simplest thing in the world, his answer the definitive one, while you snort. 

“You only think that because you want an excuse to ask everyone that all the time. No - Gimme, Gimme, Gimme is the best. Hands down.” Maybe you’re just as bad as he is. “Rasputin is another good one,” you add, “there’s dance moves and everything.” 

“No!” Poe’s voice is low, exaggerating his horror by dragging out his vowels, being over-dramatic now, “the best one for dance moves is Rock the Boat.” 

You ruffle his hair in that way he hates. “You like that because you can sit down!” Your laughter is interrupted when Poe’s head snaps up, looking towards the end of the corridor.

You pause, looking for the cause of the change in Poe’s attention. Hearing the voices approaching you, he grabs your hand, pulling you into an alcove, pulling the curtain across. There’s hardly room for the two of you to breathe, bodies pressed together, wall cold on your back as you listen to the footsteps coming closer. 

“... and Sewinn is going to want his whores there.” A nasal voice, coming closer. 

You stop breathing, glancing at Poe, who shakes his head. “The usual ones?” The question is spat by a deeper voice, while the other person presumably nods. “Fuck! They think they have more influence, always looking down on us, when Sewinn listens to us.” 

Poe’s hand fumbles around yours, fingers intertwining and squeezing gently in comfort, sending electricity up your arm. The same deep voice continues down the corridor, passing you. “And he just can’t get enough of them, especially that boy with the awful fashion sense, I mean really...” 

The voice fades gradually, passing you in a blur in the corner of your eye. You determinedly concentrate on looking at the fluttering curtain, a shade of blood red, suddenly too shy to look at Poe. 

This mission has been a lot. Working with Poe, who you have a desperate crush on, pretending to be married, and now standing far too close for comfort while you listen to people talk complain about influence in the Senate. You can’t hold it in any longer, the two of you dissolving into giggles, bodies collapsing forwards, Poe’s jacket landing on the floor with a soft whump.

And maybe it’s the release of this tension but when you finally compose yourselves, leaning back as much as you can in the small space even though you could leave, or maybe it’s the fact that his thumb is now massaging your palm, but the words tumble out before you can think. 

“Poe I like you.” He hasn’t let go of your hand yet, which is a good sign, right? But he also hasn’t said anything, so you keep talking. “Like you, like you, I mean.” Why can’t you shut up? There’s something unreadable in Poe’s eyes. “Like I would quite like to go on a date with you sometime and maybe -” 

Eventually Poe stops you with his free hand, covering your mouth for a beat, enough to get you to shut up. Is he closer? You didn’t think it was possible. His face is unreadable, even as he looks into your eyes, considering something “Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now?” 

Your mind goes blank, your mouth dropping open as Poe removes his hand, going to his tie, loosening the knot. “What?” you just manage to stammer out. 

Poe just tips his head, like he’s considering the best angle to kiss you. “I like you like you too, sweetheart.” He’s teasing, but it’s fond, you realise with a rush of affection. All night he’s been looking at you like this, with fondness. “Can I kiss you?” He’s almost begging. 

Words escape you. You nod, unable to breathe, unable to talk anymore. Poe leans towards you, tilting his head, eyes closed, long lashes fluttering on his cheeks. At the last second, you remember to close your eyes, kissing him back. 

His hand moves to your hip, pulling you towards him, where you can feel him, already half-hard under his trousers, pressing against you. Poe slides his hand under the split in your skirt, warm hand on your skin, pulling your leg up as his hand travels down your thigh, settling into the crook of your knee, opening your legs and pulling your core closer to him.  

You catch on, wrapping your leg happily around his waist, not caring how exposed you must be, gasping when you grind against him again, and Poe’s even harder now, the seam of his trousers catching on something pleasurable between your legs. You’re already more aroused than you really have any right to be, considering he’s hardly done anything to you yet, but you’ve been thrumming at a low level all evening. 

You’re still kissing, even as he grinds against you, pushing you more into the wall behind you, and you feel overwhelmed, already, in the best way possible. All you can hear are your combined breaths, breathy sighs that fill the small space. You feel hot, nearly overheating, the cool wall balmy on your flushed skin behind you. 

You forget where you are, what you’re supposed to be doing, Poe taking over all your senses. His tongue is in your mouth, teeth biting at your lip and all you can do is let him. Your free hand moves to his hair, tugging gently and feeling a pull of satisfaction in your core at his low groan. His hair is soft, and thick and you don’t want to let go, the sudden image of pulling on his hair when his head’s between your thighs jumping to your mind’s eye.

You finally let go of his hand so you can hold onto his shoulders, the crisp white shirt becoming crumpled in your grasp and helping you balance on one leg. Poe’s now-free hand pulls your skirt fully up around your waist, no doubt causing some creases and teases you, playing with the hem of your underwear, fingers tracing circles into your hip.

You groan into his mouth, you can feel yourself getting wetter, and your hips unconsciously buck into his hands, wanting more. When Poe pulls back, resting his forehead on yours, you’re both breathless. His eyes have blown wide, and you’re sure yours look the same. You’re panting a little, even as Poe keeps his movements regular, grinding his dick into you, moving his hips up and adjusting his position with every moan you let out. 

“So good to me, sweetheart.” He’s kissing down your neck now. “You feel so good, you … urgh … you don’t even know how much you turn me on…” He sounds breathless, even as he continues to talk. 

And then he surges up, hitting your clit and you can’t help it, crying out. Pleasure’s building in your body, all centred around Poe, and you want more of it, more of him. You can’t see Poe’s face, but you feel the smirk he presses to your skin as he does it again. And then his hand that’s playing with your underwear moves, pulling it away from your skin, dipping his hand down and stroking one long finger through your wet folds. 

The moan you let out is broken. “Poe…” That’s all it takes for him to push his finger inside you, motioning gently towards himself. You can hear how wet you are as a second finger joins the first, a steady squelch in time with his movements. His fingers are thicker than yours are, and you feel dizzy at the thought of being stretched on his dick. His palm is grazing against your clit with every movement, steady and repetitive. 

Poe’s fingers feel so good, moving inside you, gently building you higher and higher while he watches your face, kissing your jaw, your ear. Your moans come out in breathy whines, repetitions of his name, and soft oh’s of pleasure. You can only hold onto him, trusting he’ll catch you if your leg gives out, only half-aware that anyone could walk past and hear or see Poe utterly destroy you. 

You start to moan more and before you even realise what’s happening, Poe’s greedily kissing you as you fall apart from his fingers. He keeps kissing you as he works you through it, your pussy clenching around his fingers, his tongue in your mouth while your hips buck forwards still. 

You’d feel embarrassed if it didn’t feel so good. “Yes, by the way,” His voice is low as he moves to kiss the soft spot under your ear now. “In case that wasn’t clear.”

You can only frown as Poe removes his fingers from inside you, glistening wet and placing them on your lips, pushing gently until you open your mouth, swirling your tongue around his fingers, your own tart taste filling your mouth. “What?” You mumble, Poe’s digits muffling your voice. 

“I’d quite like to go on date with you sometime too.” 

You nod slowly, your post-orgasm haze lifting slower than normal. “Can we go to bed first?” Poe’s fingers are still half in your mouth, and you suck on the tips a little for emphasis, widening your eyes. And then you get an idea. “Or, actually,” you purr, removing your leg from Poe’s waist, and gently pushing his shoulders so he hits the wall behind him as you drop to your knees in front of him. “Maybe we should stay here for a minute.” 

***

Thanks for reading! Reblogs and comments mean the world to me 🥰🥰🥰

this is the suit I was imagining, but the hair was all wrong for Poe. also I know that there are technically no suits in Star Wars canon, but I wanted to write it this way so

[queenofhearts7378]

Constellations Ch. 2

(Yes it finally has a title. Yes this is ending up multi chaptered. Yes there’s another part I’m writing. Yes I already have an outline for a vague plot....Yes I’m still blaming @ladylynse for this XD)

Prev. Chapter  -  Next Chapter

Danny was very much unprepared and underdressed for the time when some wizards fell out of his fireplace.

He paused in the doorway, spoon still in his mouth and cheeks full of cereal, as his brother stood up and brushed the soot off him with a displeased nose scrunch.

Danny swallowed. "And you couldn't just use the door?"

Honestly they're lucky his parents had left to chase down the Box Ghost earlier. Otherwise they'd be covered in a lot more than soot and ash.

Danny couldn't help the snort that escaped at the mental picture of Draco covered in ectoplasm and boiling in rage. 

Draco narrowed his eyes, seeming to pick up that Danny was making fun of him. "Using the Floo was quicker."

"....quicker than walking through the door."

"It's a wizard thing you wouldn't understand." Draco snapped back, his go to response whenever he couldn't argue against Danny's logic at the moment. 

"Uh huh. Anyways what are you doing here?" Danny asked, "You aren't supposed to be here for another two weeks."

Which was time previously planned for Draco to prepare for his summer in America while Danny finished school. Spend the two weeks after Hogwarts let out recuperating and making public appearances with his parents, then spend the rest of the summer with the Fentons.

Actually now that Danny was looking, it seemed Draco had come straight from school. His hair was lacking half its gel, he was still wearing his green tie, and his robes were a very boring black as opposed to the various greys and blues he flaunted around in the previous summer.

“Denebola, pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.” Drawled the man standing behind Draco.

“Hello creepy man that I have never met before,” Danny said, echoing his tone.

Draco choked on air as the discount Kylo Ren sneered at him.

“This is Professor Snape Danny.” A familiar please-don’t-say-anything-that-will-get-us-in-trouble tone coloring Draco’s words. “My godfather.”

Oh the potion guy. Danny remembers Draco talking about him now. He was friends with Draco’s parents, which didn’t really impress Danny that much as all of the Malfoy’s friends seemed to be really rich snobs or really racist. Mostly both.

But he was Draco’s godfather, the reason he got into potions, his favorite professor and someone Draco would willingly go to get advice from. So, Danny decided to reserve judgement till he met him. Well….he met him.

Danny looked Draco dead in the eyes, “My apologies.”

Draco closed his eyes in mortification, which made Danny grin internally. They were really getting the hang of the whole ‘speaking without talking to each other twin thing’. 

Professor Snape just scowled at him. “Where are the….muggles?" Disdain dripped off his words, instantly making Danny defensive. He had heard enough at Malfoy Manor about disgraceful, savage muggles from Lucius. Even Draco had echoed his father till Danny dragged him kicking and screaming into being a slightly decent person.

"My parents," Danny said, stressing the word, "Are working right now."

Okay maybe they were just being their usual trigger happy selves and running after Boxy, but there was no way he was telling Professor Snape that without it leading to an hour long discussion about ghosts. And Danny did not have time for that. He shoved a giant spoonful of cereal in his mouth as he met Professor Snape's eyes and-huh.

Draco never told Danny his godfather could read minds. He could feel the light brushes of a foreign mind attempting to gleam information from his surface thoughts. Danny didn't know if it was his wizard ancestry or halfa weirdness that made him sensitive to this kind of stuff. Either way, it was useful in keeping his secrets in his head from privacy invading school teachers.

Danny glowered at Snape and immediately thought of Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up music video.

The two of them stared at each other for a minute, making Draco more and more anxious as no one said anything.

Finally Snape broke contact, "Where should his things go?"

Danny tried very hard not to smirk after winning that staring contest, "You can just leave them here, we'll get them later."

With one last displeased sneer, Snape turned to Draco. "I'm needed back at Hogwarts. I trust you are in good hands."

Draco nodded, still looking tense and anxious as hell.

Snape walked back to the fireplace. He paused next to Draco, "Take care of yourself Draco."

Draco softened under his glare, "I will Professor. Thank you."

Snape nodded and shot one more glare at Danny, who still had Rick Astley echoing in his head, before vanishing into the fireplace in a swirl of green fire.

Draco turned back to Danny and said, "You stress me out."

Danny snorted before walking back into the kitchen to put his bowl in the sink. Draco followed after him, looking at all the kitchen appliances with a barely hidden curious look.

"Something else we have in common."

"What are you wearing?" He asked with a nose scrunched in displeasure.

Danny shot him a look, "My pajamas, cause I just woke up. I haven't finished getting ready for school. You should probably change too."

"Why?"

Danny started for the stairs, Draco still following at his heels. "You can't wear robes to public school. I think you can fit in my jeans."

"What?!" Draco screeched, halting at the bottom of the stairs, "I'm not going to muggle school with you!"

"It's either that or stay here by yourself for hours." Danny said as he paused outside his room. Draco scrambled up after him. "Cause my parents won't be home for a couple more hours, after which you'll be alone with them till I get home."

Danny smirked at him, "My parents are going to be thrilled to see you, can you really handle their enthusiasm all by yourself?"

Draco could barely stand Danny showing various forms of physical affection, as proven last summer when Danny would throw an arm around Draco's shoulders and almost get hexed. And Ancients forbid Danny try to hug him. Draco might actually lose the wand and just punch him. Danny had spent most of their correspondence over the school year prepping Draco for the Fenton welcome wagon so he wouldn't hiss like a cat when he gets hugged. Okay, and maybe Danny just wanted to see his overdramatic brother's face as he is subjected to his parent's bear hugs. 

Draco scowled at him, "Fine. But I'm not wearing any jeans."

Draco stomped into Danny's room and slammed the door in his face. He heard the lock click as it was shut.

"Hey! I still gotta get dressed!" Danny banged on the door, "C'mon Drake it's still my room!"

Danny groaned before walking over to the bathroom. He phased through the wall and landed on the fire escape. It took a few minutes, but he eventually maneuvered to his window and slipped in.

Draco had dug into Danny's closet and pulled out the most dressy tux Danny owned and was in the middle of putting it on. 

"You are not wearing that."

Draco scowled at him, "It’s bad enough I'm lowering myself by going with you-”

“Lowering yourself?”

“-But,” he said loudly, “I absolutely refuse to wear common muggle wear. If I’m going to this school, I will not look anything less than my absolute best.”

Danny stared at him. “Drake you will be thrown into the dumpster if you wear that to my school. Let me just-”

Danny jumped on him, trying to remove the suit jacket from a struggling Draco. Draco shouted and tried to twist away, only for Danny to pull it over his head. Once Draco was out of sight, and swearing loudly at him, Danny subtly used his intangibility to yank it off him. And if he happened to remove all of Draco’s hair gel that he used to keep his hair slicked back….well, that would have gotten him thrown in a dumpster as well.

Danny tried not to laugh as Draco glared at him, his hair fluffed up and looking vaguely like an angry kitten. 

"Do you know how long it takes me to fix my hair? I have to completely redo it now! And how'd you get that off me?" He pointed at the jacket Danny was throwing back in his closet.

Danny grinned at him, "Magic."

Draco gave him a flat look.

"Anyway we've got to go, otherwise I'm gonna be late again, and get detention again, and you'll be forced to either walk home by yourself or stay at school with me."

Somehow Danny had managed to get dressed and drag Draco out the door with him, texting Sam and Tucker his plans to walk so they could meet up on the way.

"What is that?" Draco leaned over to squint at the phone in Danny's hand.

"My phone. I told you about it last summer."

Draco hummed, "I thought it was broken?"

"Yeah, cause your magic blew it up. My parents fixed it." Danny shoved his phone back in his pocket like Draco was about to blow it up again. "Now what happened?"

Draco shot him a glance, before letting his eyes flicker around them. "I did try to tell you muggle 'technology' and magic doesn't always go together."

"Drake, you know that's not what I mean." He said softly.

Draco was silent, his jaw clenched and his hands shaking before he shoved them in his pockets.

They walked in silence for a while.

"You'll get hurt."

Danny looked at him.

"I…." Draco sighed, "I've never…."

Danny waited silently for him to get the words out on his own, knowing that pushing him will only make him clam up.

"You aren't like us. And I don't mean that in any bad way!" He said quickly when he saw Danny's face. "But you know what my parents are like, and their friends are so much worse, and you're the first person I've ever had to worry about. I just want you to be safe."

Oh Ancients, that was a lot to unpack there. 

Danny had known something had happened during school. The two of them spent the school year exchanging letters, both of them wanting to stay in contact. Danny would tell him about his school, and his parents' antics, and explain random muggle technology to get Draco prepared for his summer with the Fentons.

Meanwhile, Draco had complained at length about Potter and a tournament and Potter being insufferable about a tournament. There was a furious letter about being turned into a ferret and how Potter and his friends keep bringing it up. Draco sent him about three feet of parchment around Christmas just making fun of Potter at a dance and how horrible he was. There was a lot about some famous Quidditch guy and then a lot about Potter’s friend stealing the famous Quidditch guy.

Draco complained about Potter a lot, okay?

But Draco never sent him a letter about the tournament results or if Potter got eaten by a bog witch or whatever it was he was hoping for the last task. He just showed up, two weeks early and clearly shaken about whatever it was that happened.

That isn’t a good sign at all. And Danny had eavesdropped enough last summer to get a decent idea as to what was going on.

“This is….this is about him isn’t it?”

Draco flinched, which was enough answer for him. Danny let out a breath.

“We can-we can talk about this later. I care about you too Drake, and I know your family is neck deep in this mess.” Danny bumped his shoulder, “You’re safe here, that’s why Narcissa sent you here right?”

Draco leaned against his brother’s shoulder, eyes still flitting across the street and his jaw clenched. “Yeah. We’re safe here.”

[lumini-317]

Hello!

This will be my official “introductory” post!

My real name is Erica, but I go by many names. My nickname repertoire includes but is not limited to: Lumi, Lumini, Cricket (I have a habit of rubbing my feet together, lmao), Jinx, Eri, Er, EriJoy, Sunbaeby, and Aceir (my real name but in alphabetical order).

This is my first ever Tumblr blog. I’ve had it for a while but have rarely posted anything, that along with the fact that I’m on mobile is kind of a mess so I apologize for mistakes and all that.

I have 3 older brothers, an older sister, and a younger brother.

I’m an ambivert. Sometimes I love hanging out with bigger groups of people, other times I dread it.

I’ve taken the “16personalities” test 4 times and all 4 put me in the “Diplomat” category, however I got “Advocate” (INFJ) 2 times, and “Protagonist” (ENFJ) and “Mediator” (INFP) 1 time each.

I am LGBTQ+. I’m asexual, aro+panromantic flux, and while I feel like I’m genderfluid, the changes are very subtle and so I sometimes just go with agender, gendervoid, or neutrois. It’s a lot less complicated that way. I’m ambiamorous, and also pronoun apathetic!

I love whump. I’ve loved it for as long as I can remember but only found the whump community maybe 3(?) years ago.

I also love K-Pop, C-Pop, J-Pop, and Asian dramas, mainly K-Pop and K-Dramas, though.

I’m a HUGE multistan. ATEEZ, SKZ, TBZ, EXO, BTS, Red Velvet, SHINee, iKON, MONSTA X, TWICE, TO1, WANNA ONE, SuperM, X1, MIRAE, Ciipher, Golden Child, Purple Kiss, BAE173, SF9, IU, ONEUS, ONEWE, The Rose, PIXY, LUCY, STAYC, WEi (which I pronounced as “way” for an embarrassingly long time), Dreamcatcher, Brave Girls, TXT, ENHYPEN, SNSD, KARD, AKMU, SHAUN, Gaho, NCT, GHOST9, 1team, SE7EN, Cross Gene, D1ce, AB6IX, CRAVITY, BLACKPINK, CIX, VIXX, f(x), 4Minute, CLC, YEZI, B.I, Wonho, (G)I-DLE, EVERGLOW, SEVENTEEN, BROOKLYN, Ha Hyunsang, DAY6, GOT7, Teen Top, BAP, TREASURE, UNIQ, etc! It goes on, far longer than I can list. I am also very much against fanwars, they disgust me.

I’m also a HUGE animal lover, and a big softie. I can’t even squish insects. I don’t care that they can’t feel pain and don’t experience emotions, I just can’t bring myself to. I make it my mission to save any type of animal I come across. I find toads in our koi pond and immediately pick them out and take them to a safe place. I help turtles across the road. I got a mouse out of a puddle and revived it, releasing it when it was healthy enough. I saw a snail on a piece of wood that was going to be thrown on a fire and carefully pulled it off and put it somewhere else. So far I’ve found 5 stray cats (Piper, Toothless, Felix, Kai, and Kit Kat—all were found as skinny, sickly kittens) and took them in, raising them as my own. I rescued a chipmunk from certain death-by-cat. I’ve even saved a few baby raccoons, ducklings, lizards, spiders, and snakes in my time. And I’ll keep doing so for as long as I live.

I love writing, drawing/sketching, and painting, however I’m not confident that I’m good at any of those things, lmao. I mean, I don’t think I’m the worst, but my finished “works” often leave me unsatisfied with my “skills”. But of course, that won’t stop me from trying to improve!

I’m a maladaptive daydreamer. This can cause issues in some places while helping me out in others. On one hand, it makes doing chores and such kind of difficult. Like one time I had to take care of my dad’s pigeons while he was fixing our shed and one time he pointed out how slow I was with the chores. His words were something along the lines of, “I’m already almost done with what I have to do and you’re still working with the pigeons.” Also, it (and maybe ADHD if I do have it?) made school a nightmare for me. But it’s also helpful because then during church it’s really easy to keep myself occupied while the pastors go on about their Magical Sky Daddy™’s son throwing a tantrum and killing a figtree because it didn’t have any figs and how that story should “challenge” us or something.

The characters in my daydreams are weird, though. They merge and separate with each other to make different characters depending on the situation. Most of them don’t have definite genders. Only a handful of them have names because they’re always merging and separating like some kind of Shadow Clone Masters or something. Stuff like that.

One of my characters is for sure a demi-boy, though, and his name is Kyler.

I brought this up because I was watching The Andy Griffith Show and Andy was giving Opie a lecture on how many poor kids there are in the world and used the ratio “one and a half boys per square mile”. Opie then says that he’s “never seen a half a boy before”. Kyler just sort of pops into (fake) existence, jumps off the couch, and throws his arms in the air while saying, “Half a boy, right here!” I burst out laughing. Thankfully it didn’t seem weird, since my parents started laughing at Opie and thought that I was just laughing at it, too.

Any-who.

If I daydream while I’m standing, I’ll often pace and gesture with my arms while moving my lips. Sometimes I’ll even whisper. If I’m sitting down, I usually fidget a lot (such as pick at my shirt and rub my feet together), stare into space, and move my lips or whisper. My family sometimes ask me, “Why are you whispering?” Or, “What are you grinning about?” And I just shrug because I don’t know how to explain it to them without risking them calling someone to pray over me, lmao. I mean, I wasn’t even allowed to have imaginary friends because that was “evil”. When I was about 7, I told my parents about my imaginary unicorn friend and they gave me a lecture and “prayed over me”. It was embarrassing and awkward for me.

I’m suspicious that I might have ADHD, but don’t have the money to actually get a professional diagnosis. I’m also too scared to ask my parents about it.

Speaking of which, my family and I don’t see eye-to-eye. I mean, they don’t know it because I’m good at hiding it, and they think I agree with mostly everything they do but boy, is it a mess.

You see, they’re evangelical conservative Christians. “LGBTQ+ people are going to hell”, “ThE LeFt ARe eViL AnD ARe TrYiNg To BrAiNwAsh OuR ChiLdrEn”, “Trump was sent by God”, “Intersex is fake”, “Women must submit to men”, “You should get married no later than in a year or ‘the temptation’ to have sex might become too much”, the whole bit.

Meanwhile I’m over here with my (imaginary) pride flags, just existing as an agnostic leftist who wants everyone to have equal rights, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation, and would rather redo my horrifically atrocious kindergarten closing program role than pray to a god who (if they/he/she/it/whatever exists) gives cancer to kids and killed millions of innocent animals and people in the Bible.

But they have no idea that this is how I feel and now expect me to be baptized within the next month to show that I have “accepted Jesus Christ as my savior”. Yeah...that’s gonna be an awkward discussion...

Anyway, that’s just some things about me. Sorry that I got sidetracked a few times, lmao!

I look forward to posting more and maybe even making friends!

Thank you for reading (:

[thetypedwriter]

Cold Iron Heart Book Review

Cold Iron Heart by Melissa Marr Book Review 

I don’t think many people are aware or have read the Wicked Lovely series by Melissa Marr, but that’s alright. I originally started this book blog as I had so many thoughts and feelings about the books I was reading and yet no one to share them with. 

So I might be talking to me, myself and I in this book review, but at the end of the day, it’s still a way for me to express how I feel about the literature I’m consuming even if no one else is reading this. 

Wicked Lovely is one of my favorite series from when I was young. I still remember very clearly how my love story with these books started as it was odd and coincidental. I was at the grocery store with my mom and a promised “quick” trip quickly turned into an hour-long shopping spree as my mother was prone to do. 

Back then I was in middle school, had no cell phone, and was bored out of my mind. So what is any pre-teen to do? I went over to the small, sad book selection in the grocery story and picked up the novel with the most interesting cover. 

This book was Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr. 

I read it the rest of the day and finished it that night, consuming page after page. I was completely transfixed. It was dark, gritty, violent, sexy-all things that my twelve-year old self found entirely fascinating. 

It was a fantasy book about fairies, but these fairies were deadly, life-sized, cruel, violent, beautiful and loving. 

I’ve been enamored with fairies and fairy lore ever since. All because of this book and the series that followed. It hooked me in ways that I still don’t fully comprehend, but I understood then that I hadn’t read anything like it before and I was drawn into Melissa Marr’s world and never quite left it, even all these years later. I’ve gone back and re-read Wicked Lovely multiple times and each time I still found it enjoyable and alluring. 

Cold Iron Heart is a different beast. 

A few days ago, my best friend (who is a journalist) sent me an email saying that local Arizona author, Melissa Marr, was releasing a new book and that she might have the opportunity to interview her. 

I was ecstatic, of course, and not so subtly tried to persuade my friend to let me silently snoop in on the interview (I didn’t, by the way). 

It was then that I realized I hadn’t checked in on Melissa Marr for some time-what had she been writing? Imagine my surprise that one of my favorite series of all time not only had a new book-a prequel no less, but also several new short stories. 

I was flabbergasted. And beyond excited. 

So I ordered the book immediately and read it the moment it arrived on my doorstep to eventually find myself with...mixed feelings with a negative tinge. Okay, more than a tinge, more like a cascading waterfall of negative feelings. 

First off, the book is a prequel. 

Now. Melissa Marr could have done so many cool things with this. There are so many interesting characters that I would have loved to see more in depth or delve into their histories. 

Like Miach and Beira, for example. I’ve heard about the late Summer King since book 1, but never got to read about him as he was dead before the series began. However, his legendary love with Beira, the Winter Queen, would have been so incredibly bewitching to read about it, especially if it involved the birth of Keenan. 

This would have been an awesome choice. 

Irial and Niall would have been another incredible one, probably the best one. We’ve been told over and over again throughout the series that these two hot-heads with a past used to run the Dark Court together, wreaking havoc, taking lovers, seeking new heights, etc. 

But do we get to see this transfixing time? Nope. 

I would even have settled for a story about the Hunt, Sorcha and Bannanach, literally any character done in the right way. 

But...no. Melissa Marr decides to write a prequel that is literally a carbon copy of the first book Wicked Lovely, but innumerably worse. 

Everything in the prequel is exactly the same as the original novels. Miach is dead, Keenan is looking for his Summer Queen, the Winter Girl is pissed off for not being the chosen love of Keenan’s, Irial is temptation in the flesh, Niall and Irial are at odds, Bananach is causing discord, Sorcha is isolated and frigid, the list goes on and on. 

Nothing of consequence, novelty, or importance happens in this book. 

Frankly, it just felt like a terrible redo of the first novel, just set 100 years back. 

I didn’t give a single flying crap about Thelma or Tam or whatever her name was. She was a worse version of Leslie, of Aislinn, of every other cool female character we eventually get to read about in the main series. 

Thelma was contradictory in the worst of ways. She said one thing, like she would rely on no man and never have children and then turned around and did every single one of them like some sort of hypocrite galore. 

She was so irritating and boring to read about that I tended to skim her parts because it was just paragraph after paragraph of bitching and moaning about the same goddamn things over and over again: stay away from fairies, oh god this fairy likes me, no sex, no children, no love and then bam! She just throws it all away. 

Urgh. 

The worst part too is that this isn’t a well written book. It’s repetitive, quite boring at times, and caters way too much to the reader. 

Something I loved about the first Wicked Lovely is that Melissa Marr kinda just tosses you into her world and calls it a day. She doesn’t hold your hand or over explain. She just describes and lets you glean for yourself. 

I loved this aspect of the original series. I liked learning about her world and the characters this way. 

Cold Iron Heart spits on the idea of this concept. Marr repeats herself so much about the same things, who Irial is, what fairies are, why this is happening, that I grew increasingly irritated as the book went on. 

Who on earth is she explaining this for? New readers? Why in the world would any new reader start with this book? The newest one that comes after six others???? It makes no goddamn sense. 

So not only did I feel patronized and aggravated, but the love story between Thelma and Irial grated on me as there was no basis for their love. 

It was ridiculous with no shred of authenticity and I hated it, especially knowing that he already loves Niall and Leslie only to come back and say, “wait a moment! I had another true love that I’ve never mentioned before. Yeah. Her name was Thelma. Or Tam. Or whatever, I don’t know. I knew her for three days, most of which was just sex, and then I lost her after she had my baby but I conveniently forgot about it because of nonsensical plot! Hahahah, good right?”

No. Not good. Horrible. 

Overall, this book is a waste of time and trees. 

I don’t know why Melissa Marr even wrote and published this. I can see her writing this for herself because why not, but as a fan and a reader this was beyond disappointing. 

It’s like how all Harry Potter fans felt when J.K. Rowling wrote The Cursed Child and we got movies about Newt Scamander when we literally wanted anything else-Marauder series anyone??

It’s a particular kind of egregious offense when a favorite series or author of yours ends up ruining the canon you’re in love with. For that reason alone, I am stripping Cold Iron Heart from my heart and mind, like it never existed. 

Just like I did with Cursed Child, or the fact that you-know-who dies in Death Note (if you know, you know). I just...don’t believe it. It ruined all the lovely things Marr had previously written and the stories that defined so much of my love for YA, for fantasy, and for my own writing as a whole. 

I know for a lot of you this was a bumbling mess of a review with little to no clarity of the plot or who these characters are. Frankly, I’d be surprised if you are still reading if you didn’t know the book or the series in the first place, but that’s alright. 

Like I said at the beginning, this is a way to get my intense feelings and thoughts down onto paper and now that I have I feel marginally better, although still pissed off that this book exists and that I currently own it. 

Sigh. 

Well if you stuck around for the ride, I appreciate it. If you skipped this particular book review, I understand that too. 

Recommendation: Burn this book. However, if you want a gritty, tantalizing fantasy story, pick up the original Wicked Lovely and be whisked away into a world that has stuck with me since the first moment I read it on the fateful day at the grocery store. 

Score: 3/10

[dyhlanobrien]

I posted 7,918 times in 2022

That's 7 more posts than 2021!

71 posts created (1%)

7,847 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@princessrhcenyra

@witter-potter

@dacutiehart

@hawkinslibrary

@wenclair

I tagged 7,917 of my posts in 2022

#mornings are for coffee and queue - 5,843 posts

#stranger things - 2,388 posts

#shows - 1,102 posts

#show: stranger things - 688 posts

#movies - 682 posts

#mike wheeler - 668 posts

#you're queue? i'm fucking queue bro! - 592 posts

#finn wolfhard - 445 posts

#steve harrington - 350 posts

#netflix original - 348 posts

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#stole some dialogue from oz the great and powerful because that movie lives in my head rent-free

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Of the four years that Stranger Things has covered, we’ve really only spent a total of what? 4-5 weeks with these characters? Think of how much life they’re living off screen. We’re all so quick to judge, off those 4-6 weeks.

71 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

#4

I’d kill for these two to play siblings. Am I wrong?

Does anyone else see it?

101 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

#3

Why is it so hard to find Mike Wheeler/(oc/yn/reader) stories?! I mean, I ship Mileven hardcore but just adore Wheeler. No one else?

149 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#2

Mike Wheeler x F!Reader Warning : ST S4 redo, Injuries, that's all really, Plot: Fluff, Comfort, very mild, S4 Vol. 2

She’s the first to climb the sheet ladder, helped by Mike, who follows her up. She hits the mattress and rolls out of his way. He hits next, the two sharing a quick giggle and a smile. She holds her hand out, which he quickly takes, and she pulls him up to her. Dustin hits next. Once Dustin lands, they all look up to Eddie, who hasn’t started climbing yet. He’s looking from them and back outside. 

Y/N realizes what he’s going to do before the rest do. They all shout, scream, asking him to stop what he’s doing, but it’s no use. He’s cut the sheet and moved the mattress before they can change his mind. They frantically try to think of something, when it hits her. 

“Mike, put me on your shoulders. I can reach and go through.” 

“Absolutely not Y/N! You are not going back through there alone.” 

“I won’t be alone. I’ll be with Eddie. I’ll stop him, but it needs to be done now.” 

Mike and Dustin share a look, Dustin shrugging his shoulders cause he doesn’t know what else to do. Dustin holds his hands out, Y/N using them as a step to climb onto Mike's shoulders. She knows it might hurt him, but she’ll apologize later. She uses all her force to jump from his shoulders, just barely grabbing the edge of the portal. She uses her upper strength to pull herself up and manages to land similar to Steve earlier. Thank god for gymnastics. 

She grabs her weapon, as well as Eddie’s, from earlier and dashes out the door. 

“Eddie! Eddie, where are you?” She doesn’t hear anything from him but she does hear the demo-bats. She rubs towards the noise, finally finding Eddie. He’s only got a shield and is surrounded. 

“Eddie!” 

He’s finally heard her and he doesn’t look happy. She runs into the fray, throwing him his saber or whatever they had decided to call it. They stand back to back, swinging at anything that comes near them. They don’t hit every one, and some get a bite in here and there. 

“What the hell are you doing Y/N? This was supposed to be my moment of glory!” 

“If you think we were just gonna let you sacrifice yourself for this shit town, you’re very wrong,” she says, hissing as a bat gets her upper arm. 

“Should’ve known you’d never let me have the spotlight,” he says, a bat getting him on the back. As it bites his back, his tail swings, slashing across her face. She can feel it slash through her skin, the blood rolling into her eye. 

“We’re gonna get out of this, and we’re gonna clear your name. Your year, remember?” 

“You gonna be there to watch me cross the stage, Little Harrington?” 

“We all will. Front row, cheering as you flip off the principal.” 

Suddenly, they are swarmed, the bats getting several bites in. As quickly as they came, they all fell to the ground. They both droop onto each other, looking around. Was it over? Had they won? 

Y/N looks down at herself, seeing multiple spots where blood is oozing through her clothes. Looking over at Eddie, he doesn’t look much better. 

They hear shouting, looking up to see Mike and Dustin running towards them. 

Mike falls to his knees, sliding to his girlfriend's side. “Shit shit shit, Y/N, what the hell were you thinking?” 

“She couldn’t let me have the glory man, she’s my hero. Saved my life, for sure,” Eddie says as Dustin helps him up. Mike puts an arm under Y/Ns legs and around her shoulders, holding her closely to his chest. 

“We need to get them both out of here, and get medical attention immediately.”

They all start to walk to the trailer, quick and unable to wait for the other three. They all manage to get through and as Mike goes to carry Y/N out of the trailer, the ground starts to shake. The four move away from the trailer, the shaking causing them all to fall to the ground. Mike softens Y/N’s fall, holding her tightly to his chest. They watch in shocked silence as Eddie’s trailer is swallowed by the huge portal opening up in its place. 

“What the fuck? How much blood have I lost, cause I think I’m seeing things,” Y/N says, clutching onto Mike's arm that’s wrapped around her chest. 

“Vecna's curse, the four chimes. We heard them,” Robin says, walking up from behind them. 

“We need to go, now,” Y/N says, attempting to stand up. She quickly falls back into Mike, everything spinning. She has so many questions, but they’re going to have to wait.

“No, you need medical attention. We’ll split up, the four of us will go get your wounds cleaned, you three go find the other three. Drop us off at the Harrington house,” Mike orders, scooping Y/N up and starting towards where they left the vehicle. No one argues, just follows. 

Once they’re dropped off, Mike carries Y/N up to her room and lays her on her bed. 

See the full post

341 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

first kiss prompts

'' you sure you wanna do this? ''

'' we can take things slow. ''

'' you're the best first kiss i've ever had. ''

'' i'm quite nervous. ''

'' you're doing good. ''

'' close your eyes. ''

'' i've never done this before. ''

'' i want [our first kiss] to be special. ''

'' no pressure or anything. ''

'' i thought [the kiss] was great. not that i have much to compare to. ''

'' wanna practice? ''

'' just get it over with. i'm tired of not knowing what it feels like. ''

'' i'm gonna remember this for a while. ''

'' i like kissing you. ''

'' that... was terrible. sorry. ''

'' do you wanna make out? ''

'' i really want to kiss you right now. ''

'' kiss me and you'll find out. ''

'' permission to lean in? '' '' permission granted. ''

'' i'm not a delicate flower. kiss me like you mean it. ''

'' if anybody were to kiss me... i would want that person to be you. ''

'' i've been wanting to kiss you for a while. ''

'' teach me how to do it. ''

'' are you nervous? ''

'' i don't want you to be disappointed. ''

'' can i get another one? ''

'' why don't you come inside? ''

'' i haven't mastered the art of kissing yet. ''

'' you're a great kisser. ''

See the full post

6,085 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →