#I might have a obsession about them but who would know?

[fangel]

always, attic angel — jake [ 심재윤 ]

synopsis : jake’s hidden secret isn’t so secret anymore, but he’ll go to great lengths to keep it. he reaches his breaking point when faced with betrayal. he relinquishes any remaining sense of sanctity, surrendering to everything he's spent his life trying to suppress. ⇀ read part 1 here ⸝⸝ updated playlist

pairing : jake sim x fem. reader featuring : heeseung genre : psychological thriller, smut, yandere word count : 7.7k content advisory : dark content ⚠︎ sexually explicit content, obsessive!jake, possessive!jake, jake in general, corrupt!reader, choking, dubcon, somnophilia, spanking, unprotected sex, stockholm syndrome, religious themes and concepts, violence, blood, mentions of homicide/death, open ending - mostly proofread

“can you keep a secret?”

jake wasn’t only asking heeseung the literal question, but he was questioning himself. how long could he realistically hide you away? were you, his sacred secret, something that he could actually keep? he’s thought about it a lot. often losing hours in a day just going over the agonizing idea of not.

heeseung at a loss for words, just watches jake’s body language. jake is like nothing he’s ever seen before. jay and sunghoon have brought up jake’s odd behavior with concern, but he always brushed it off. now heeseung is here to witness it himself, stunned with his brows furrowed and a mouth opening and closing, looking for words he can’t find. he looks back up to the top of staircase, the room that he knows is occupied with someone. hundreds of questions flood his mind but he doesn’t know where to begin. 

“jake,” he says quietly, eyes darting from the door up the stairs and to the boys huddled in the living room. “what did you do? who is here?” even if jake did have a girlfriend, or just someone he’s been seeing, why would he need to act this way? with the way the air feels around them, heeseung is sure that there’s much more going on. and whatever it could be, was far from good. 

jake still can’t look at heeseung. he just stares to the floor with a death grip on heeseung. his breathing picks up in slow, deep heaves. he holds onto his hyung like a lifeline. heeseung feels genuine dread. the chill he feels run through his body makes every hair stand up. he wants to pull away from jake, to go investigate before the others get nosy or cause a scene. but he can’t. his instincts are telling him that if he moves too quickly that jake will break.  

“jake… if i go up there—” he begins to say slowly, quietly. and that’s when jake looks up at heeseung. his eyes look wild, almost like they’re threatening him. heeseung swallows hard, sensing that maybe he is silently threatening him. 

heeseung tries to step back but jake only digs his nails into the flesh of heeseung’s arm. he hisses at the sting and attempts to tug his arm away from the hold. jake’s strength is something heeseung never knew he had; he thinks that jake might just fucking break his arm at the elbow right here and now. 

through clenched teeth, jake seethes under his breath, “i’ll explain, but get them all out of my house first. and i swear to god if you tell another soul you’ll be buried out back too.” 

what the fuck, is all heeseung can think. his eyes wide from the venomous threat. he complies with jake out of fear. these were treacherous waters and he wasn’t going to test it out by diving in. especially with the tension growing too thick and too fast for heeseung to waste any time. 

jake follows heeseung to the living, standing behind him, watching and listening. he doesn’t say a word as his older friend handles the situation. he just shifts on his feet while staring into the back of heeseung’s head.

heeseung stumbles over his words, nervously attempting a lie to get the rest of the boys to leave. the words catching in his throat that he masks with a cough whenever one of them makes a questioning expression. 

although disoriented and perturbed, they all listen to heeseung. heeseung being obviously troubled with something serious made them gather their things with haste. they were rushing out to the car in minutes with no questions asked. there were many to be had, but they assumed they would find out eventually. 

jake and heeseung watch as they drive away, from the front door. neither of them say a word even when the vehicle is out of sight. the taillights fading into the snowscape treeline of gravel road is all to be heard and seen. 

there’s a pregnant pause before jake closes the door and locks it, all 5 different locks. heeseung raises a brow, stepping back slowly. his eyes watching as jake stuffs the ring of keys into his front hoodie pocket. he makes note of it. 

jake, still yet to utter a word, just walks into the living room area to clean up the leftover mess. heeseung, unsure of what to do, just helps in stillness. the tv remains a static screen displaying no signal: (1) check the cable connections and settings of your source device. the kitchen oven light flickers every so often. and the darkness of the night bleeds into the house. it’s eerily quiet between them. 

after some time, there’s a slow creak of a door to be heard. both of the boys heads shoot upward and down the hallway. layla trots away from them and sits at the end of staircase. her head tilted, ears raised, and mouth open in what would be interpreted as a smile. 

slow footsteps make their way down. the space between each creaking step of the wooden floorboards shows how apprehensive and timorous you are. once halfway down, there’s a pause. you’re standing there, waiting for a noise or response from jake. you saw the group of his friends leave, but there was still another car parked outside. and after waiting for so long, listening to silence, you had to see why jake hadn’t come up to see you, to tell you it’s safe to come out. 

jake stands from his crouched position, dropping the wet wipe he was just using to clean the low coffee table. he throws off his jacket to the edge of the couch. there’s a clink of the cluttered keys, but only heeseung hears it. jake’s already in tunnel vision. he gives heeseung a daring glare before walking away to meet you halfway. heeseung sits down on the couch, his hands folded over his lap while his leg picks up an anxious bounce. he looks at the pocket of the abandoned material. a glimmer of metals peak through the opening. 

jake walks up the stairs that you stand in the middle of, layla hot on his trail. he gives you a small smile as he places his hands on your shoulders to turn your body back around. “i didn’t tell you when to come out, did i?” he whispers with small anger, trying to keep his tone light but what’s deeper surfaces regardless. 

you very rarely made jake angry. a feeling of disappointment envelops you like instinct. as if you had to feel bad for going against him. 

“i’m sorry i made a noise,” you mumble, “i got excited when i heard them mention me.” it’s an honest admission. you turn your head back to jake and your guilt drops to something empty. the color fades from your face when you see him. he looks disgusted. “i-i’m sorry, i-” your mouth open and mind trying to find the right thing so say. 

he grabs the back of your neck and begins to walk forward, forcing your body back up to the bedroom. you stumble over your feet, nearly falling. his footsteps stomp against the wooden stairs. his hold on you is squeezing with fingers pressing into the sides of your throat. you want to cough away the feeling but decide on struggling to remain quiet instead. someone is still here. i promised to behave. 

when back in the room, he shoves you forward with the release of his grip. the door slams behind him. you lose balance but catch your own feet, your ankle shooting in a great affliction that you’ve become accustomed to ignore. your hands reach for your throat to massage the ache. you whimper at the touch. 

“it was a perilous decision, making you my attic angel.” his heavy footsteps march forward. he picks you up from under your arms and tosses you onto the bed. you bounce slightly before gathering yourself. you push yourself back into the corner of the bed, hugging your knees to tuck into your body, like you’re protecting yourself. you watch as he places his knee onto the bed, his hands too, leaning towards you. “i am trying so hard, so why isn’t it enough?” his head shakes in disbelief. “i’m just not enough for you? you want everyone to see you, to know you. why? as if they would need or love you as much as i do.” the last sentence is a scoff, spat with hate. he just stares at you with a tilt to his head. you feel that he’s mocking you in some way with his ridiculous words. 

tears brim your eyes, your hands forming small fists that tremble in a rage you’ve always felt within you. “i never asked you to.” your words are firm, a tight lip frown wears your face. you want to argue that this isn’t love and he’s just a sick man, but you don’t want to spill more tears over him. you’ve been drained enough.

jake’s face flashes with an array of emotions. his fingers curl into the blankets so tight his knuckles turn white. he looks irated and dejected, but mostly broken.

“you didn’t have to.” his face is a scowl, glaring at you for the first time. how could his attitude change so quickly? “you wanted me, and now you have me. let it be enough.” he pushes himself off the bed and picks up the metal cuff chain from the floor with one hand. you instantly try to scramble up off the bed but he’s faster; he takes your bruised, weakened ankle in his free hand to drag you into him. you yelp with agony, trying to kick your leg around in a struggle that would hopefully prevent the entrapment. but he secures it onto you with a low growl, warning you that your actions have been enough. 

with a burning gaze, he pushes you back down onto the bed before making strides to the door. he’s never been so blatantly mean towards you. it hurts far more than you could’ve ever expected. you slide yourself off the bed with urgency, tripping up behind him. you want to cry so badly, but you also want to show you’re stronger than he allows you to be. your hands reach for him to grab at the back of his shirt, a try of pulling him back from the door. “take it off! take it off now!” you stomp your metal clad foot, the chain rattles against the floor. 

layla begins to bark loudly from the other side of the door. her paws scratch at the closed white wood. 

jake spins around with your raised voice and slaps his hand over your mouth, “shut the fuck up!” he whispers with heated aggression. his other hand grabbing the back of your head, fingers tangled in your hair and craning your neck back to look at him. crazed eyes stare into yours like they want to rip you apart. you can no longer help it now, tears escape and wash down to meet his hand. your entire body is now shaking in fear. “angel, i thought i taught you better than this… haven’t you made yourself known enough tonight?” he softens in tone, but his expression and hands don’t match. they’re strong, keeping you still. 

you shake your head frantically under his hold. his large hand taking up half your face, making it hard to breathe. your mouth and nose only taking in larger breaths of air that just isn’t sufficient. fat tears run down your face as you continue to shout muffled pleas into his palm. 

“take it off!” 

“let me go!” 

“stop, stop!” 

“help me!” it’s a deadened attempt of a shrill scream.

it’s all lost against his skin. you try to slap his hand and arms off of you but it’s to no avail. you’re simply too feeble to put up the fight you want to. you’ll always be overpowered by man. 

his hold doesn’t let up. he just watches you struggle in blazing silence. your lungs losing oxygen make you see bright white stars scatter your vision. the burning tears only make it all the more hazy. your body feels weak, like it’s about to collapse in on itself. is this what it’s like to lose consciousness? weird, it feels kind of good. you use all your strength to keep your eyes open, but they blink slowly to a close. 

“please.” is the final beg to be said against his palm.

“i love you.” is the final words he promises before it all goes black. 

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 　when jake finally comes downstairs, he looks like he’s seen a ghost. 

heeseung—who was in the kitchen—heard jake’s descent with the settling creaks of the house’s floors, returns to the couch. he nervously watches jake, who was yet to look over at him, as he stuffs something back into the hoodie that jake left behind before going up to that room. 

jake just stands at the bottom of the staircase with a dead stare, eyes unblinking and unfocused. he looks pale, stuck in a state that heeseung is not ready to approach or question. heeseung heard nearly everything from upstairs. it was jarring, and enough evidence to understand that the house is dangerous for everyone in it. 

to think that he’s been here before without a clue of what was happening behind closed doors makes his skin crawl. he never could have imagined that his own friend, or himself, would get wrapped up in a scenario like this. was it all merely a matter of time? 

heeseung slowly stands up. due to the silence, even the slight sound of movement has jake’s heard turn in a split second to his friend's direction. 

unknowing of what to do, heeseung just stays still like a deer in headlights. frightful in nature as if he was the one to be caught in the wrong place. he’s frozen under the cold, black eyes that bore into him. 

jake stalks over to heeseung slowly. the unbreaking eye contact and lack of words sends chills through the older male. the kitchen oven light hums in the background, and it’s all to be heard. jake places himself on the other couch in the living room. the light flickers off and on again when heeseung follows jake’s actions, sitting once more. 

“i’ve never hurt her before,” his tone hostile, as if to defend himself from whatever he was imagining that heeseung was thinking, “not physically at least, i don’t think.” 

heeseung feels a cold sweat take over. his palms sweaty, squeezing his own thighs for a sense of stability. this can’t be real. he couldn’t process any of this. how could this be what jake is? he sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and gnaws with anxiety. eyes trained on the intense presence before him. 

jake speaks up again, his voice breaking like he’s about to cry, “she looked at me so.. she looked terrified of me, seung. and i made her cry again.” jake has his elbows resting on his knees, his head hung low with hands fisted in his hair. he pulls on his dark locks in distress. 

heeseung glances from jake to the front door. then back to jake. and then the staircase. and then the front door again before going back to jake. he feels like his lungs are going to burst, his breathing something he now has to force himself to manually maintain. 

“but fuck, man!” jake hits himself in the head once, twice, three times. his smack echoing through the room, sending shivers of panic through heeseung each time. “i-i can’t think! what the hell am i supposed to do!?” there’s a pause. “i want to be good for her. she’s supposed to help me but i’m getting worse everyday.” his hands drag down over his face, covering it. 

“jake, i don’t know—”, heeseung’s voice didn’t reach. 

“i went to church. i prayed. i couldn’t confess though. i was too cowardly to say what ill thoughts consumed me.” jake looks up to heeseung with tears in his eyes, “too cowardly to admit to what i’ve done. i want to be clean, man. but i am full of greed, lust, and wrath. i can wash my hands over and over, but i still remember the feeling. a damned confession wouldn’t take the weight of that away.” he laughs lowly, shaking his head. a hand lazily wiping his tears from his face. “and i see it every night. the stains that painted me, that should’ve made me feel dirty. it didn’t.” 

heeseung needs to get the fuck of here now. he can’t keep up with jake’s insane behavior or confession. this has gone far beyond his expectations; his flight or fight instincts are screaming that this is unsafe territory. 

“but when i have her, it’s not so bad. i can’t--i can’t have you getting in the way, or anything, anyone else, for that matter.” jake is hanging on by a thread, it’s clear. he was going to snap soon. “do you understand that?”

heeseung nods his head but can’t bring himself to say a word. 

“well say it, damn it! say ‘jake, i won’t get in the way.’” his voice loud, demanding. 

“jake,” he stands on shaking legs, “i won’t get in your way. i w-won’t say a thing. this has nothing to do with me, man.” his hands up in a defending position as he makes brave steps that lead to the front of the house. “you can trust me…” 

“i hope so, or you’ll end up like her parents… somewhere in the back of those woods to feed the maggots.” 

heeseung nods again then darts for the door and out to his car. he wastes no time in getting far away from that nightmare. as he starts the car, he looks up to the window at the highest point of the house. the light is off and there is no face peaking through with hope. heeseung exhales deeply. he recalls the smile jake wore with his leaving statement. closing his eyes, he knows that he is no hero, and certainly won’t be made a victim. 

but, he also isn’t someone to do nothing. so, he’ll leave for now. 

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 　jake’s mind is in a whirlwind. he needs to release the weight of everything that’s suffocating him from the inside. he feels as if all his organs have corroded and are crawling up his esophagus, like hundreds of little centipede feet, only to get stuck in his throat. 

he doesn’t even recognize how he got back to the bedroom since heeseung’s escape; unable to realize that some has passed. 

he stands in the middle of room, blinking his eyes back to a state of awareness. he was watching you sleep in the bed he placed you in. or perhaps he was just looking through you. he made you pass out in and from his own hands. he despised himself for it, and how it gave him a sense of god-like power. 

jake moves towards the bed and creeps in next to you. his hands find a place on your hips to pull you on top of him. the subtle movement of your chest and small breaths assure him of your liveness. he hugs you close like that for a minute.

his fingers trail up and down your body, squeezing and caressing his favorite parts of you. they stop at your ass, full in his hands he begins to move your body back and forth. his growing cock pressing up into your pussy, grinding with the maneuver. the back of his throat releases a soft, guttural sound. 

his large hands slip up your night dress and pull your underwear to the side. he runs a finger along your folds, feeling every detail of your womanhood. the callosed tips rub over your core until a layer of wetness leaks through.   

you shift on top of him, not awake, but subconsciously sensing an uncomfortable intrusion. a small noise leaves your lips, something of a whine. 

“i know you’re not all there. you’re too compliant with all i’ve done. you listen too well.” he’s whispering against the side of your face. his free hand working to take off his pants and boxer briefs. “you’re like me.” he licks a strip up your face, wet saliva leaving a trail. you stir again, face scrunching before rubbing onto jake’s shirt. 

he grins at you, thinking you’re cute all out of it and on top of him. his eyes find the teeth marks on your shoulder. the thin spaghetti strap of your dress falling from it, revealing full sight to the scarring mark of his possession. “i can sink my teeth into you and you will do nothing but watch me lick it clean. and you would still let me hold you. kiss you. and,” he’s rubbing his leaking cock against your pussy, humping up into you so the head dips in and out. “fuckkk.” he moans, feeling himself being teased with the enveloping of your creamy, warm hole. 

you make another tired, bothered sound with eyes squeezed shut. 

“possibly i have let you think of me as tender, but i will prove to you i am everything but.” he thrusts his hips upwards, his cock pushing into your tight core. he moans at the feeling of you wrapped around him, hugging him with wet heat. “i’ve always had these tainted thoughts with me. i could never admit to anyone, or myself, what i longed for.” his arms are wrapped around you, holding you close. his legs propped up, knees bent and feet pressed down to the bed, as he begins a brutal pace to pound himself in and out of you. 

your eyes open along with your mouth, a sound in between a moan and gasp leaves your lips. you look up to the man who is fucking you, confused and disoriented. you feel a deep pain between your legs and in the bottom of your stomach. you try to pull yourself back, to sit up, but jake grounds you to his chest. 

“i prayed for all the disturbed thinking to come to an end. my mind became more grotesque, morbid.” he looks at you and all you see is misery. his eyes are so empty yet he forces a smile. “i am haunted like a sick man.” i know, you think. your head rests tucked by his chin and neck. you just watch him, letting your body make little moans and chases to his touch like it’s trained to. “i always wanted more. i didn’t want to just think it, i wanted to do it all.” 

“mhmm.” your eyes blink slowly, watching the faces of pleasure he makes through your eyelashes. maybe this is all a dream, you imagine wishfully. 

“i stopped praying a long time ago, yet kept stepping into god’s house. i knew something, someone, would come for me.” he grunts, squeezing the skin on your back to bruises. his trusts become messy as squelching sounds of your pussy. skin slaps and fragmented noises come from the both of you. “in the bible; tell me, angel, who did god send to fulfill all his obligations?” he nibbles on your ear. sometimes licking and leaving his spit coating it. 

him pistoning his cock at his assaulting speed and force, elicits a loud mewl from you. you wish he would fuck you even harder. violent enough that it rattles your brain and body senseless. you don’t want to think at all, just want to see those stars again. 

jake is pissed when you ignore his question. one of his hands slides up your back while the other moves down to slap your ass. you whine at the sting. he grabs the back of your neck like he did earlier and you can’t help but grin a little. he yanks your head back and your body sits up on top of him. he feels so deep inside of you. you hum at the feeling, not even realizing your hand drops down to rub over your lower stomach. 

you still wear the faint grin on your lips as you look down at him. “hm?” 

“who carried out his judgements, served punishments, and set examples?” he fucks into you slower, focusing on your body. noticing how your hips move in small swivels and bounces on his cock. how your nipples peek through in needy points of the thin material. 

he gives your ass another slap and your head tips back with a moan, “ngh, the angels.” 

he squeezes your neck from behind at your response. your eyes rolls back as you continue to fuck yourself down onto him in severity. a slutty sound leaving you with every kiss of his dick to your cervix. 

“yes,” he pulls you back down to his face. his hand is still tight around your neck, borderline suffocating in pressure. “and he sent one to me too.” he feels your pussy pulse around him, signaling you’re close to cumming. “he sent you to me. but instead of learning a lesson i became obsessed just as my thoughts.” jake always had a dangerous personality, hiding inside of him. his obsessions becoming an illness was nothing he should be shocked by. or maybe it’s the other way around and he was always sick so he became it. “i so badly wanted you to be my savior… to tell me lies of purity and goodness.” he feels his cock throb, aching to release. he chases the feeling of pure want, pounding relentlessly into you. 

“open your mouth,” he demands with a low growl. you listen without a second thought and he spits into it. his saliva meeting your tongue only to be swallowed down. 

he pressed a kiss to your lips while you cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure as you cum. your body collapses on top of his like an act of defeat. your breathing so ragged and lungs suffering; jake releases his hold on your neck only to use both hands on your hips to bounce your body on him. 

while your body makes small quivers in overstimulation, jake groans loudly as he cums inside of you. as you feel the deep warmth coat your insides, a sense of drowsiness takes over you. 

“i feel like a besotted rot has taken over me, and it’s been growing evermore since i met you.” he whispers, relaxing his body flat against the bed. with you still on top of him and his cock still buried in you with his seed, he hugs you. “it’s killing me from the inside out. you’re going to kill me. i can feel it.” 

the quiet and gentle honesty of his fearful ending confession lulls you to sleep. 

he continues to fuck you until he’s too tired to not. 

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 　when you wake up the next morning, you feel your entire body is in pain. there’s a throbbing pain in your head, a dull strain in your neck, and a heavy ache in between your legs. 

you sigh as you sit your body up, hands place slightly behind you at your sides. you make slow circles of your head to stretch your neck muscles. there’s a pang of sharp pain for a split second but you relax once reversing the movements around. 

with lazy eyes, you scan the surroundings of the bedroom. the sun shines bright through the thin lace, white curtains. the clock reads that it is half past 10 in the morning. on the white, wooden night stand beside the bed is a note, a cup of water, and a plate of cut up fruit that has probably been out longer than intended. the door is slightly cracked open and the cold, heavy weight is missing from around your ankle. 

you stretch your arms and back before leaning over to chug down the glass of water. you think of eating the fruit presented for you, but decide on not. it's hard to have an appetite these days. 

you move yourself to sit at the end of the bed, legs and feet dangling off the mattress. you realize how quiet the house is. normally, jake is always with you when he’s home. if he’s working from home then he is next to you, or at least at the desk with his work laptop. but it’s saturday, so why would he be working? 

“jake!” you call out his name, but there is no response. your voice doesn’t sound like normal, it’s rough. you call for him again and still there is nothing. only layla comes up the stairs to push past the door. she too looks confused. 

you look outside the large window next to the bed and realize that his car isn’t there either. 

you look back to the nightstand, remembering there was a note left for you. you pick it up and read: had to run out. i will be back soon. rest and eat well, angel. 

with the note in your hand, you squeeze your hand into a fist, crushing and crinkling the paper in your palm. you stare at the destroyed paper, enclasped in your hand, before releasing your fist and letting it fall to the floor. 

the sound of a car driving makes you turn around. you don’t know if it’s annoyance or ease that washes over you. but once your eyes see the car, you know that it’s neither. because it’s not jake’s car that you see outside. you can recognize it’s one from the other night though. 

you’re quick to stand up and make your way over to the side of the clear glass. you peek over the side of the window, suddenly not comfortable to be seen. is it because you know jake isn’t here? your heart rate picks up rather quick, along with a feeling of anxiety. who is here? why? 

a tall man with dark, brownish.. no reddish hair, steps out of the now parked vehicle. he glances around before jogging over to the side of the house. you furrow your brows in confusion, wondering what he could be doing. you bite at your lip, trying to look around the house as much as the window allows.

then you walk over to the bedroom door and close it quietly, leaving you and layla inside. you lean your back to the door and slide down to the floor. your ear presses against the wood, listening to anything that you can. there isn’t much to be heard for a minute or so. and then there is. there’s a landing thud from somewhere downstairs. a clashing of objects hit the floor with it. something like a glass bowl or cup, if you had to assume. you can tell it’s coming from the kitchen based on the direction alone. 

your heart beats harder now and you don’t even realize how your hands hold a small tremble. you’re frozen in place; you don’t know what to do. jake always tells you what to do. he tells how to handle situations, how to react, how to respond. 

the footsteps of the intruder are rushed. quick feet move through the house and up to the stairs, only to stop right outside the door that you’re in front of. you feel a dangerous panic coarse through you, and unknown to you, you’re holding your breath as if it could give you away. 

seconds feel like minutes followed by a knock at the door. it’s slow and just as scared as you are. 

you place your hands over your mouth, silencing yourself from uttering a sound or a word. meanwhile layla lets out a guarded growl. you shake your head as you look at her, as if she could understand the notion. 

“i know you’re in there. i’m here… i’m here to help you.” the voice is sweet, familiar. it’s a friend of jake that’s been here before. he must have been the one who stayed longer than he should’ve last night. 

for some reason, you still remain silent. why would he come back? 

“i don’t know what exactly is going on between you two, but i know when something isn’t right. and jake isn’t…” his voice goes soft. he’s worried and nervous. 

“he isn’t what?” heeseung hears your melodic voice, weak yet defensive. 

“can you open the door? i don’t know how much time we have.” the door knob turns but doesn’t push open. it’s not locked. you both know it, but neither of you bring yourself to break the barrier. 

you stand from the door, your legs uneasy as if a baby fawn learning to walk. you grab the door handle with a timid hand. you turn it slowly and pull back the door just a crack. you look up with wide eyes. you’re face to face with someone other than jake for the first time in what feels like forever. someone is finally seeing you, talking to you, acknowledging your existence. why isn’t it as exciting as you anticipated? 

heeseung gapes at your disheveled appearance. his eyes quick to find the many bruises that litter your body, from your neck to your arms and legs. then to the scarred bite mark that’s discolored and horrid along your shoulder. and lastly over your face: dry, bitten lips and dark circles around your sad eyes. “i’m sorry.” is all heeseung can say. you think his voice sounds disappointed. 

“why? it’s not like you did anything.” you pull the door open a little more, unintentionally though. it furthered the exposure of the room when your hand pulled back to wrap around yourself. your eyes scan over his face, taking in the up close new appearance. you think he’s very cute for a second before a dread of guilt becomes you. you wrap your arms tighter around your midriff, as if to conceal what you’ve begged to be seen. you avert your eyes from his, suddenly embarrassed. 

heeseung steps into the room, and you step back. your eyes watch his feet. it feels like you weren’t given the permission to look at him; like you’ve already overstepped jake’s boundaries and broken his rules by seeing and speaking what you already have. yet your heart races with adrenaline. 

“that’s the problem. i didn’t do anything the minute i knew something was wrong.” 

it’s nice to hear something rational for once.  

“i tried to come up with some sort of plan as soon as i could. he left and i found his keys,” you immediately look up at heeseung when he mentions the object you fantasize about. keys. unlocked cage. freedom. “i figured the kitchen window would be the less susceptible.” he attempts a laugh but it’s clearly full of nerves. his eyes dart from you to the outside window. it reminds you of yourself. that feeling of waiting for jake, always mixed with too many emotions to really decipher. 

“but for real, you need to get a jacket and shoes on. we have to leave right now.” heeseung deadpans. his eyes watching yours that refuse to look back. you just stand still in the room, shaking like a leaf in the wind. your focus trained to the floor, spacing out from the scenario. 

“is this real?” your voice is quiet, unsure. “did jake put you up to this to test me? i don’t want to cause more trouble with him. i don’t like when he’s…”

heeseung begins to frantically search the room. he goes to the closet and shifts through the hanging clothes for the thickest jacket he can find. he grabs a big one with faux fur lining and heavy material, “put this on. where are your socks?” he hands it to you but you just hold it low in your hands, letting it hit the floor. he opens drawers of the dresser nearby, finding a pair of socks. 

still spacing out, feeling dreamlike, you sit down at the edge of the bed. the large winter coat still hands in your fingers, half over your lap and exposed legs. 

heeseung crouches down in front of you with socks in hand and a pair of boots by his side. he looks up at you with despairing eyes, but you just watch the floor below him. i should sweep the floors. there’s dog hair and dust everywhere. 

trepidatious, large and unknown hands pick up your foot. the cold fingers brush over your abused ankle. a sick feeling of flutters fills your stomach, you jerk your leg back from his touch. this isn’t right. something like a stray cat who doesn’t let strangers touch. 

“what happened to this?” he lightly taps the bone, “you need to see a doctor.” he tries again but faster this time. gentle hands pulling the sock over your foot and then the other. next he reaches for the boots to put your feet into. “come on, get the jacket on.” he says as he stands, a hand reaching out to you. you stand from the bed and ignore the offered gesture. 

you take a few steps forward and stop. heeseung takes notice of the slight limp in your walk. his eyes follow the floor from your feet and that's when he sees it. the long silver chain that’s attached to the bedpost, mounted to the floorboards. 

“jesus fucking christ…” he exhales, taking the coat from your hands to put it on you himself. 

“i used to try and break that whenever i had the chance, but i ended up hurting myself in the process.” you laugh a little. he sees your blank stare and lost smile. “he would ice my ankle for me though. and he wrapped it up, changing the bandages everyday when it was worse.” 

“i’m gonna get you somewhere safe.” heeseung promises, taking your hand in his own to lead you to the door. “you won’t have to live like this anymore, okay? do you have more family somewhere, someone we could call?” heeseung is doing his best to remain calm, but inside he senses immense uneasiness. you can feel how his palms are sweaty and holding too tight of you. you don’t like it. 

“my parents…” it’s a whisper. he helps you down the stairs and to the kitchen. your heart feels like it's a ticking time bomb set to explode. each beat a warning that screams louder and louder.

“well, how about anyone else.” there’s consternation. 

you stop in your tracks, heeseung tries to pull you forward. his eyes begging to leave through the window he left open for you two. “why anyone else?” you question. you feel heavy again, a boil builds in your body, your heart racing faster than you know it was capable. your breathing becomes quick and panicked. heaves and wheezes now leaving your body. “what? w-what do you m-mean?!” 

“they… jake, he…” heeseung stammers, his head moving side to side in a slow display of sorrow. he reaches out to you, to pull you into a hug of comfort. 

but you just stand there, unbelieving of what the man is trying to imply to you. “no, no… he wouldn’t—” your bottom lip quivers and eyes sting. 

from the corner of your eyes, you see a dark shadow approaching heeseung from behind. a large object hangs high in the air with the shadow. you let out a blood curdling scream, eyes looking past heeseung. the tall man turns his head around before the held object comes crashing down into the back of his head. heeseung drops to the floor in an instant, his hand slipping out of yours. 

it all happened so fast. 

you’re in a fit of panicked sobs now. your eyes can’t look away from the man who tried to help you; the man you didn’t try to believe in. there’s an open gash in his head, bleeding and matting into the hair. you feel sick. 

your attention is removed from the man when a familiar hard grip pulls on your hair. “where the hell did you think you were going!?” jake’s voice is terribly sad, loud and croaking. he’s dragging you back down the hall and up the stairs to your room. 

“i wasn’t going anywhere!” you squirm around trying to look back at him, “i was never going to leave! i swear!” 

jake sits you down at the chair by the desk, his hands place on your shoulders. he looks down at you with disquiet heartache, “you promise?” he’s fixing to cry. you hate when jake cries. 

you nod your head quickly, still having a panic attack, still frightful and overwhelmed. 

jake swallows hard, staring into your eyes. he’s trying to trust your word, and ultimately he just does. he places a long kiss to your forehead. you feel a drop of wetness land against your skin. and you just sit there, watching him leave the room with hands of shaking fists. 

you hear a lot happening downstairs while you’re glued to the chair. there’s loud commotion and aggressive words being passed between the two. heeseung is still alive. they’re fighting. 

unknowing of what to do, you squeeze your eyes shut. you curl your body inwards and cover your ears, gently rocking yourself back and forth to ease your mind of the chaos. this isn’t real. it’s all a bad dream. it’s another bad story you conjured up. 

and then someone yells. a painful, agonizing noise that you can’t disassociate from. it sends shivers through you. you can’t open your eyes, you can’t leave the room. if you don’t see it then it’s not happening, right? 

the clashing of aggression comes to a halt. and the usual eerily silence of the house stands still. 

a few minutes go by. 

you lift your head and open your eyes when you sense the door being weakly pushed open. 

you gasp and stand up, quickly moving over to jake to help him stand up straight instead of leaning on the door. 

“j-jake…” you’re crying, “hey, wha-what happened?” you’re trying to support his weight but it’s too much. you both somehow manage to make it to the bed. did he do it? did he kill heeseung? 

jake is covered in blood and he’s crying too. he simply shakes his head and presses wet kisses your cheek, pulling you down to lay next to him. he can’t say anything. 

confused and scared, you ask him again, but he doesn’t speak yet. he just holds onto you as tight as his body allows. the blood begins to stain your clothes, the bed sheets and blankets.

he breathes a ragged sigh, looking at you with wet, thick lashes, “i thought god hated me. ya know, for making me the way i am and expecting me to follow him.” he coughs, turning his head away from you, hiding. “but why would he hate me and still give you to me?” he laughs with a small cough, he feels his mouth tinge with metallic iron. 

you watch from the side of his face, crying quietly. then you feel it. the warm, seeping of thick liquid spilling onto you. your eyes track down your body and his, landing on the gash of his shirt. an open wound punctured in his side. a wrecked sound slips past your lips with your cries. 

“even if it was a punishment, you’ll always just be an angel to me.” his head turns back to face you, his mouth painted red with slips of blood passing the corners of his smile. 

you push yourself from his hug, crazed to find some material to wrap around jake and stop the bleeding. but he pulls you back to him, his eyes closing. “h-hey, hey. stop, it’s okay. just hold me close a little longer.” and you do. through all your whimpers, hiccups, and tears. you wrap your entire body into him, legs entangled and arms wrapped never this tight around him before. 

eve was made from adam’s rib. so is it really your fault for wanting to crawl inside the man you’re closest to? 

jake’s breathing is starting to become dangerously slow, along with the pulse of his heartbeat. 

heeseung, who managed to crawl his way up the stairs, waits outside the door. blood is dripping down his face and neck from his head. he coughs, grabbing your attention. 

you sit up just enough to not let go of jake, swollen eyes watching heeseung sit at the edge of the stairs. his body is struggling to stay upward, he wobbles and sways. his eyes not able to stay open. he asks you if you could drive them to the hospital, in hopes that there is still time to save them. 

you don’t take the risk of losing the only family you have left, so you do what he asks.  

 　time passes by in a blur. you end up back at house a day later to take care of layla. jake and heeseung are still in the hospital. you don’t know who will recover or die first.

when you return to the house, you do all the things that jake would normally do. you take layla outside for a walk around the house. you make sure she has food and water. you make yourself a meal that will be left untouched. 

and then you trudge up to your room and you crawl into the blood stained bed. you attach the metal cuff to your ankle, and lay there in silence. you think of praying but end up crying yourself to sleep instead. 

the first man you knew to really sin, not just true nor venially but mortally sin, you can’t help but want to wait for the return of. to be damned with him may be his punishment and your fate, but whatever happens is in gods hands now. maybe it doesn’t really matter anyways because you’ll be his attic angel, always.

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[aphrodeiities]

ᴛʜᴇ 2° ɪɴ ᴀꜱᴛʀᴏʟᴏɢʏ - ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜᴘʀᴇᴍᴇ ꜰᴇᴍɪɴɪɴᴇ

involves my own research along with the help of janduz.

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THE DEGREE IN THE SIGNS.

THE DEGREE IN THE PLANETS.

THE DEGREE IN THE HOUSES.

♱ the 2° is about significant changes, and where you have supreme power. its a degree that is a about grace and supreme femininity. a degree that entails where one is cooperative and beautiful, where someone is influential and easily hurt. this degree is about being protective, empathetic and where you might sometimes not know where and when to make choices, where you want to bring peace and can be about your intuition?

what does it mean when the 2° occurs a lot in a chart?

the persons needs to learn what to value and how to value themselves. the person would also learn to be someone who knows how to make decisions and knowing when to depend on themselves and not being lenient on others all the time. when the degree occurs a lot in a chart, this can also mean the person can have enchantingly strong beauty.

THE 2° IN THE SIGNS

♇ 2° in aries - very beautiful people and can be very honest. due to this they could get into a lot of arguments, but they can be great humanitarians, the type to root for the underdog. this person is very influential and can have a very striking face, or others could describe their faces to be very feminine. when they're people who can be rational, other people could describe them to be very grounded and intuitive, but they're still the type to fight for the people they love, they're very protective people.

♇ 2° in taurus - very beautiful face, voice, neck and eyebrows. very empathetic and nurturing, can be great at handling finances, they could be influential with woman and can gain popularity from it. they can be considered a powerful member in their family, people usually listen to what they say. and they can value romantic relationships but are very sensitive, the one's i have come across are sensitive to sound.

♇ 2° in gemini - beautiful siblings, beautiful twin/children. influential words can easily move people, like the type to have their own cults if they wanted to. can help people embrace their femininity, though sometimes their words can hurt other people with what they say. beautiful hands, intelligent, can become a teacher, mediator between family and friends. could gain popularity online, can also be known for their worldly views, and how they perceive humanity; very graceful when communicating with other people and can charm the pants off someone.

♇ 2° in cancer - very beautiful face and mother. beautiful home, influential/popular matriarch or person within the family, graceful family and children. though might come from an argumentative family and now wants peace, so this person might like going out a lot because of this. could move out early and can be the favourite child, or the child that is listened to the most, people within the family could be protective over them, or the native could be very protective over family. might like to collect as well.

♇ 2° in leo - indicator of being famous, defensive over creativity and projects, protective over children, and even the fandoms they're in. powerful figure in their line of work, dominant in general; outstanding beauty, and when they're in competition, they normally triumph who they go against and can be very empathetic with children. could work in child-care, their childhood can be something that easily hurts them, sometimes might feel like they always have to prove their femininity.

♇ 2° in virgo - people might rely on them too much, could sometimes be controlling over other people, they are the epitome of "what a woman is supposed to be" standard, which is definitely toxic and problematic. this person's lesson is to not always fall into what the patriarchy tells them what to do. they can be someone who has an obsessive idea of what perfected beauty can be and might sometimes not know how to handle critique; can fall obsessed with working, powerful within a work-space.

♇ 2° in libra - very beautiful people; graceful, charming and likeable. can people a people pleaser, or had to be a mediator when they were young. can be someone who is very fragile, plus they can over-think about other people's opinions a bit too much. popular within their community and school, sometimes can be a slow learner, but influential people. have to learn to not be devil's advocate.

♇ 2° in scorpio - another indicator of someone being influential, people can obsess with their beauty or even finances/relationships. have striking features, great manifestors and can be someone who knows how to handle intense situations, since this is a venusian number, it can also mean they could like to change up their style all the time, can fall obsessed with plastic surgery. epitome of dark femme.

♇ 2° in sagittarius - Goddess like beauty and has much information a lotof stuff. always knows a guy who knows a guy; likes o swipe things under the rug, makes jokes about their trauma--the type of person other people admire when it comes to their beauty. this degree in sagittarius shows that they can be easily offended when it comes to their beliefs.

♇ 2° in capricorn - very sharp features, squared jaws and pointy chins. can find luck in their career world or can be self-employed, much grace and etiquette is valuable to them. could be sensitive about being restricted, likes to be free and likes to do their own thing. social cues are important to these people and they can be an example of what beauty is supposed to be, or even their work ethic.

♇ 2° in aquarius - very fairy like beauty, can be off-putting since the beauty can be extreme. and their beauty can be off-putting to other people. they normally have distinct voices and even a breathy one. can be someone who wants to break out of the patriarchal system, or can be considered a pick-me. valued for networking and can be a Humanitarian, feels strongly about world-peace and could have supreme powers within their friendship group.

♇ 2° in pisces - ethereal beauty, and people can put them on a pedestal because of it. can lose themselves during the pursue of beauty, but can also be someone who gets away with a lot of things. musically inclined and very spiritually powerful. can also brainwash people or can brainwash other people, and has an superiority complex. easily hurt and might victimise themselves a lot. needs to set boundaries with how they make money, could easily become famous.

THE 2° IN PLANETS

♱ 2° in sun - this degree in the planet sun implies of extreme beauty, being someone who is known to have much power and authority over people. people could deem the native to be someone who believes in themselves or needs to learn how to believe in themselves. but this person can also be someone who has a hurt ego so the critique of other people can easily damage them if they don't have enough confidence. can be someone who likes to change their appearance a lot.

♱ 2° in moon - this degree in the moon is another indicator of being very beautiful. listens to their intuition and their heart, if they don't do it, then its something they should start doing. can be someone who can have a strong hold over women and could be someone who is the peace-maker within their family. this degree in the moon shows the idea of the individual being someone who is very empathetic and emotional, could sometimes have a victim-mindset.

♱ 2° in mercury - can have a very beautiful voice, can speak things into existence, and can see through people very easily. could have much influence over their friends and siblings, even online or between their peers. people could look up to them because of how they think and their ideas. this degree in mercury shows that you are likely someone who is protective over yourself and it could be hard for people to pierce through your walls. can be someone who is co-operative, likes to work with other people, and can show empathy through their humour.

♱ 2° in venus - evidently, very beautiful person, beautiful sisters and female friends. could be someone who's a strong feminist and can understand how the patriarchy holds back women. could be someone who could like hyper-feminine aesthetic and being someone who likes to be in a society/community with women. can be influential to other women, or other women could influence them a lot. can be indecisive about their romantic love life, can be someone who has a lot of attractive romantic partners. many significant changes within their romantic love life and even sexuality.

♱ 2° in mars - could be attracted to beautiful men, or to women with very dashing features. it reminds me of anna lightwood. this degree in mars can also mean the person can sometimes like to pander towards men, this degree is the epitome of a graceful fighter or even dancer, could be someone others consider to be very protective, could focus on working out a lot, could either be very co-operative or likes to take the lead too much. could be influential over men. men could think they embody the perfect woman.

♱ 2° in jupiter - financially abundant future spouse. being someone who can go with the flow, might like it when other people take the lead, they need to learn how to take responsibility. very influential marriage, can be a pivotal point in their life, could be someone who is a devil's advocate or the voice of reason within their connection. could have supreme power over people's mindsets, can easily change the decisions of other people. could have much power and grace, it reminds me of a leopard.

♱ 2° in saturn - could have the grace of royalty, said person needs to learn how to be co-operative with other people. people who grow into their beauty, or they age very gracefully well. this degree in saturn shows that the person could be really respected, especially within their line of work. could be someone who is usually given much responsibility from other people. needs to learn how to be empathetic with other people, but this could also mean the person needs to make significant changes with how they restrict themselves and how they interact with other people.

♱ 2° in uranus - could have much influences within their friendship group. could need to change about who they allow into their friendship life, can be someone who has a unique and airy type of beauty, it reminds me of a nymph, this degree in uranus could also imply that they are someone who is easily empathetic with the people around them. a humanitarian indicator, person can be someone who could have a very big ego as well, could always like to be right.

♱ 2° in neptune - people could want to copy their beauty and their aesthetic. could be someone who has much respect in a spiritual community, they could be someone who needs to learn how and when to pull their rose coloured glasses away from their eyes and be comfortable in reality, can be someone who sometimes doesnt know what they want in their life, but they can become very spiritually inclined in the future, real belief in themselves, sometimes might feel like they have to follow patriarchal views of femininity.

♱ 2° in pluto - could have so much power, and could go through the life lesson of learning how to handle it and not abuse their power. this degree in pluto can show a lot of people could worship them, especially their sexuality and their status. this is another indicator of a dark feminine, person could like dark clothing or dark make-up, they could also have a resting bitch face. the 2nd degree in pluto shows that they would need to make significant changes a lot in their life because they could go through a lot of losses, financially, socially and even family.

♱ 2° in north node - could battle with their femininity, and can be someone who could have issues with many women in their life. this degree here shows that they could have moments of being selfish. could be someone who has a destiny that is surrounded by finances, should be careful with how they spend money, and need to make changes with how finances should be handled. could be someone who chases beauty.

♱ 2° in black moon lilith - very intense, mysterious and dark beauty, can make other people captivated, could remind other people of a siren. this degree in this lilith asteroid could also show that this person with this degree here could be influential to women who have gone through dark pivotal moments in their life, can be untrusting of others, someone who is either pandering to men or very strong about women's rights. protective over their sexuality and even their past, might've been looked down upon because of how confident they are.

THE 2° IN THE HOUSES

♇ 2° in the first house - could be known to be very beautiful, people might want to offend and demean them all the time. they're people who are protective over their goals and can be very empathetic towards other people, but other people could think of them to be very self-centered. they can be someone with much supreme power wherever they go, people might easily like to go to them to form a connection with them. they could be someone who want to make changes in their lives a lot as well.

♇ 2° in the second house - said person can be very protective over their finances, could have a very tight-fist when it comes to their possessions, could be influential within their family, and if they're not balanced with it, they'll need to make significant changes with how they spend money. this degree in the second house can mean someone could like to collab a lot, join partnerships to gain finances, could give much of their money to charity.

♇ 2° in the third house - could have much influence amongst their peers, community and family. their relatives could be very protective over them, or they could be very protective over their siblings. could need to be more aware with how they say things to other people. could have really nice handwriting, and can speak with much grace, how they speak impacts other people, could like to work with other people, but can get easily distracted. could have very beautiful relatives.

♇ 2° in the fourth house - could come from a very beautiful home, their mother could be very intuitive, or could have a lot of gut feelings, is someone who is easily hurt, family might've had to protect their feelings all the time. had to be the mediator of their family and could have a lot of power in their family in the future, could be into interior design or even baking. could earn money by doing something in their home, likely had to learn to be empathetic because there might've been much conflict within their family.

♇ 2° in the fifth house - might've been through a lot of relationships when they were younger. can influence a lot of people to be creative, could be indecisive about children or their romantic partners. could become popular because of their beauty, could work in a creative group, and other people could consider them to be very protective over themselves and their creation, could have a very feminine/specific aesthetic.

♇ 2° in the sixth house - could work in a life of work that is very feminine. could be considered a beauty guru, many people could want their advice on fashion, beauty and romance. could have a lot of women envy them, or people envy the connections they get into. could be thought as someone who is very friendly, other people could be annoyed at how anxious they could get, sometimes they could be the epitome of not believing themselves, so trusting themselves is a significant change they have to make.

♇ 2° in the seventh house - very persistent in relationships, could be the first to apologise after an argument. can be very popular, hates it when they have competition, usually is in a romantic dilemma, never know when to choose the person good for them. sometimes is an indicatior of being the other woman. very light-make up beauty or heavy, could waste money on cosmetics, but people could look up to for aesthetics.

♇ 2° in the eighth house - very much supreme feminine, could be into pay-pigs or have a sugar mama/daddy. usually likes to work alone, needs to learn when its okay to let other people to take the wheel, the epitome of "angel in the streets and devil in the sheets". usually has a romantic relationship that changes them forever, sometimes uses their sexuality for power. very possessive and protective people, especially over finances. this degree in this house shows that they can be very psychic.

♇ 2° in the ninth house - very beautiful people, usually people compare them to other people. need to make significant changes with how they process the world and how the world impacts other people and just not them. very intuitive people, the type to make fun of other people but cant handle it when someone makes fun of them, could be unsure about what faith/practice they should believe in. could have much influence and power over people who are in a vulnerable state as well, but person with said degree can sometimes be taken advantage of.

♇ 2° in the tenth house - many people look up to this person, they could tick off many people's boxes of what they think a divine or supreme person is supposed to be. the type of people that if they ask people to jump other people would question how high. could be people who can read other people really well, usually have much power within their work field in the future, could be known for being for the people and very beautiful. might not be sure about what job they want, other people might feel like they have to control this person or tell them what to do. father figure/father's side of the family could be strong about manners and etiquette.

♇ 2° in the eleventh house - people might use this person for networking. very popular people, Queen Bee type of popularity, could be known for being a humanitarian and having very different and other-worldly beauty. could be someone who changes friendship groups a lot or needs to be aware about the type of people they allow into their friendship group. could be influential online, could have a lot of followers/big platform. other people want to be friends with them and work with them. protective and very empathetic for their friends.

♇ 2° in the twelfth house - very psychic people, should listen to their heart/gut instincts all the time. could dream about future connections, could be considered as a dream girl/person all the time and can be someone who is protective over their practices and could be an empath, they easily become sympathetic of what other people express especially sad situation, the type to walk in people's shoes and can be easily hurt, sometimes does not know when to take accountability.

degree theory masterlist

masterlist

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[delulustateofmind]

Get Ghost'd!

Sum: So you ghosted a guy that like really, really likes you, what could possibly go wrong?

Characters: Gojo, Geto, Choso

TW: Yandere Behaviors (Drugging, Stalking, Obsession, Kidnapping, Trapping, Manipulation) Slight wholesome fluff? Older woman (5-10 years) x Gojo, Noncon smooches (Gojo), The girls are around 7 in this so young cult leader geto (Not as deranged yet but getting there), Choso's is more crack (Todo is mentioned)

WC: 6.1K

A/N: I was just only going to do Geto...but then I thought about all the other JJK characters that would just go so crazy if you just ignored them. No Nanami, because he's a good man and would respect it if you ignored him.

Bold of you to assume you could just ghost the strongest-

Gojo Satoru had left his number for you.

He didn’t usually do that sort of thing—relationships were messy, and he simply didn’t have the time. Not with the weight of his responsibilities and the constant demands on his talent.

But then there was you, Megumi’s sweet next-door neighbor. The one who went out of your way to drop off food for the kids, who somehow managed to fold their laundry just the way they liked it. How could he not leave his number?

After all, he was the brat’s caretaker now, their benefactor. And, well, he could be your benefactor too, if you asked. Not even nicely—he’d do it if you so much as batted those pretty eyelashes at him and gave him one of those soft, shy smiles.

So why hadn’t you texted?

You had the time to make food for the kids. You had the time to do their laundry. But not even a reply for him? Not even a polite “Please don’t contact me”?

He tried to let it slide. Maybe you were nervous, unsure how to handle someone like him. He was Gojo Satoru, after all. But the more he thought about it, the harder it was to ignore the sting of your silence.

He wasn’t unreasonable—he understood the age gap might make you hesitate. He was freshly twenty, probably a few years younger than you. But honestly? That should work in his favor. How often does a hot, young stud go out of his way for someone like you?

You should be relishing in his attention. Cherishing the fact that he’d chosen you. Because let’s face it—you weren’t getting any younger. You should really consider settling for him.

No—scratch that. You should be grateful.

And yet, here you were, acting like he didn’t exist.

The knock on your door came late, almost too late for it to be anything casual. The soft thud echoed through your small apartment, catching you mid-step as you were putting away the last of the laundry.

When you opened the door, you weren’t prepared for the sight of him.

Gojo Satoru stood there, tall and imposing, framed by the dim glow of the hallway light. His white hair caught the faint light, tousled in that effortlessly perfect way. His signature round glasses perched low on his nose, revealing piercing blue eyes that seemed to glow, unblinking, as they locked onto yours.

His hands were stuffed casually into his pockets, his lean frame relaxed, but the faint twitch at the corner of his mouth betrayed his easygoing facade.

“Hey,” he greeted, voice as light as ever, but there was a sharpness in his eyes that made your stomach twist. “You’ve been busy, huh?”

You blinked, thrown off by his sudden appearance. “Gojo? What are you doing here?”

He tilted his head, a teasing grin spreading across his face, his impossibly white teeth gleaming. “Satoru,” he corrected. “I think we’re close enough for that, don’t you?”

You faltered, searching for a polite response, but he didn’t give you the chance.

“Not even a little text?” he continued, stepping just a fraction closer. “I left my number, you know. Thought it was pretty obvious I wanted to hear from you.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, suddenly hyper-aware of how small the doorway felt between you. “I’m sorry—I’ve been really busy with work and helping out with Megumi and—”

He laughed, cutting you off. It was light, almost playful, but there was something unsettling about it. “Oh, I know. You’ve been making food for the kids, doing their laundry, running yourself ragged for them. But for me?” He leaned in slightly, his height forcing you to crane your neck to meet his gaze. “Not even a second of your time?”

Your throat tightened. “I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s fine,” he said, voice soft but dripping with something you couldn’t quite name. “I get it. Maybe you’re nervous. Maybe you think I’m too young, or you’re just not sure what to say to someone like me.” His grin widened, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “But you’re not avoiding me, are you?”

The way he said it made your pulse quicken.

“N-no, of course not,” you stammered, taking an instinctive step back.

“Good,” he said smoothly, taking a step forward as if he belonged inside your space. “Because I’d hate for there to be any misunderstandings between us. I mean, I’m just trying to look out for you.”

His gaze flicked over your shoulder at the neatly folded laundry behind you, a flicker of amusement crossing his face. “All this running around for the kids? It’s sweet, really. But you should be taking better care of yourself, too.”

You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his presence pressing in on you. “I… I’m fine, really. I just—”

“Just need someone to help you out,” he interrupted, his voice dropping to something softer, almost coaxing. “You do so much for everyone else. Don’t you think you deserve someone to take care of you for a change?”

There was a strange intensity in his gaze now, an undercurrent of something far more dangerous than his usual teasing charm.

“Satoru, I—”

“I could do that, you know,” he murmured, his hand reaching out to brush a strand of hair away from your face. His touch lingered, his long fingers trailing along your jaw just enough to make your skin crawl. “Take care of everything. You wouldn’t have to lift a finger.”

“I don’t think that’s—”

“Actually,” he cut in, his tone suddenly shifting, “I’ve been thinking. This arrangement? You here, me over there with the brats—it doesn’t make sense.”

You blinked, unsure if you’d heard him correctly. “What do you mean?”

He gave you a boyish grin, as if what he was about to say was the most obvious thing in the world. “We should live together.”

Your heart stopped for a moment. “W-what?”

“Think about it,” he said, stepping past you into your apartment without so much as a glance for permission. His long legs carried him casually across the room, but the tension in his movements was unmistakable. His sharp gaze darted over your space, the faint scowl on his face deepening as if your cozy apartment wasn’t quite up to his standards.

“You’re already taking care of Megumi and Tsumiki half the time,” he began, spinning around to face you, his white hair catching the dim light. His bright blue eyes locked onto yours, their intensity almost too much. “And my life? Well, let’s just say it’s dangerous.”

“Satoru, I don’t—”

“You’d be safer with me,” he interrupted, his tone sharper now, the usual playful lilt missing entirely. “And the kids, too. We’d be one big happy family. You wouldn’t have to worry about bills or working yourself to the bone anymore—I’d handle everything.”

He said it like he was doing you a favor. Like it was something you should have already agreed to without hesitation.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you managed, your voice shaking slightly.

His expression twisted, the easygoing mask slipping entirely as frustration bled into his tone. “Why not? It makes perfect sense!” he snapped, his arms spreading wide in a gesture of exasperation. “You’re already basically living this life anyway, aren’t you? Cooking, cleaning, running yourself ragged for them. But when it comes to me? Nothing. Not a single second of your time!”

His words hit like a slap, the bitterness in his voice leaving you momentarily stunned.

“I didn’t ask for that,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Well, maybe you should have!” he retorted, his lips pulling into a sharp, mocking grin. “You’re fine on your own, huh? Sure, because that’s working so well for you. You think you’re being independent, but all I see is someone too stubborn to accept help—even when it’s standing right in front of you!”

You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his anger pressing down on you.

He laughed then, but it was humorless, the sound cutting through the air like broken glass. “You’re too sweet for your own good, you know that? You run around helping everyone else, but you can’t even give me a second of your attention. What’s the matter, huh? Am I not good enough for you?”

“Satoru, that’s not fair—”

“Not fair?” he interrupted, stepping closer, his height towering over you as his blue eyes narrowed dangerously. “You want to talk about fair? I’m offering you everything—safety, security, a life, and you’re standing here acting like I’m some stranger asking for a handout!”

His words stung, his frustration bubbling over into something meaner, something sharper.

“I’m fine on my own,” you insisted again, though your voice was barely more than a whisper.

“No, you’re not,” he spat, his tone venomous now. “You’re delusional if you think you are. You’re just making excuses because you’re too scared to admit you need me.” He shook his head, his grin returning, bitter and condescending. “But that’s okay. I’ll fix that for you.”

Before you could respond, his hands shot up to cup your face, his long fingers curling just enough to hold you in place. His grip was firm, unrelenting, as his piercing blue eyes bore into yours.

“Stop overthinking it,” he murmured, his voice low and coaxing, though his words felt more like a command than reassurance. “You’re wasting time. I know what’s best for you. And it’s me.”

You barely had time to gasp before his lips crashed against yours. The kiss wasn’t tender or affectionate—it was rough, forceful, and far too intense. His teeth scraped against your bottom lip, cutting into the dryness of them causing a ting of blood to pool at the skin, the pressure somewhere between biting and bruising, as if he were marking you rather than kissing you.

Your hands flew up instinctively to push against his chest, but he didn’t budge. His arms slid around your waist, pulling you flush against him, his grip like iron. Every movement was desperate, consuming, and entirely unyielding.

“Satoru, stop,” you tried to mumble against his mouth, but he swallowed the words with another bruising kiss. It felt suffocating, as if he were trying to imprint himself on you—erase any thought of resistance.

When he finally pulled back, your lips felt swollen and raw, your breath coming in shallow gasps. But the worst part wasn’t the kiss itself—it was the look in his eyes.

They were bright, almost gleaming with satisfaction, but there was something beneath the surface.

He licked his lips, his smirk widening as he took in your dazed expression. “See?” he said, his voice a low murmur that sent a chill down your spine. “You’re already mine. You just don’t realize it yet.”

You stared at him, your heart racing as you tried to step back, but his hands were still on your waist, holding you in place.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he continued, his tone almost soothing now, though it carried an eerie finality. “You’ll see. This is what’s best. For you. For the kids. For all of us.”

His grip loosened just enough for you to pull away, but as you stumbled back, his eyes stayed locked on you, sharp and unrelenting.

“And don’t even think about running,” he added, his voice soft but chilling. “You won’t get far. I’ll make sure of it.”

Because Gojo Satoru didn’t lose. And you weren’t going anywhere.

I think I may have just ghosted a cult leader, how fucked am I? 

Geto Suguru sat in his living room, legs tucked beneath the kotatsu table, where the twins lay watching Ponyo for what felt like the hundredth time today. The familiar opera intro played, but he barely noticed it, he had lost count of how many times he'd have to endure it. His sleek, dark hair fell loosely over his shoulders, the ends brushing the fabric of his yukata, and a faint shadow from his sharp cheekbones danced across his face in the flickering light.

The DVD would end up in the highest cabinet soon, stored away with the Sailor Moon box set. Only to pretend later on that he has no idea of where the discs went, that the twins should really take better care of their things.

His tea sat untouched on the table, long gone cold as he stared at his phone. Three days since you’d last messaged him. Four since he’d seen you. His dark eyes, always so calculating and composed, narrowed slightly as he swiped through the unread threads of his polite but unanswered messages. He told himself it was fine, that you were busy, but the creeping unease in his chest said otherwise.

Being ignored was new to him, something he hadn’t experienced in years. Women had always sought him out, drawn by the quiet intensity of his gaze, the sharp elegance of his jawline, and the magnetic calm that seemed to follow him like a shadow. They threw themselves at him, eager for a glance, a touch, a word.

But you? You were different. Sweet, shy, and delicate. A part of him had loved that about you. Now it gnawed at him.

Had you used him?

The thought was intrusive, bitter, but it refused to leave. He’d erased your debt, lifted the curse that had plagued you, welcomed you into his home—and into his life. He’d done it all for you, because your smile had been enough. The way it softened your features and brightened your eyes—he couldn’t forget it. You made the darkness in his world feel lighter.

But maybe it wasn’t enough for you.

Maybe you’d only stayed because you owed him. Maybe, now that you were free, you saw no reason to stay.

His hands tightened into fists, the phone shaking slightly in his grasp.

Staring at his phone, he reread the messages he’d sent you over the past few days:

"Hope you got home safe." "The snow’s falling. The girls have been asking when you’ll come over for hot cocoa." "Good morning. Please eat well." "Did you drink water today?"

What he wanted to send was, "Was the kiss too much?"

But every time he typed it out, his thumb hovered over the send button before deleting it. He’d even tried adding an emoji once, only to groan in frustration. Giving up, he reached for the twins, pulling them into a big hug. Their squeals of delight momentarily distracted him as he tickled their sides before letting them go. They returned to their movie, leaving him on the floor, still staring at his phone.

Why did you look at him with those wide, innocent eyes when he cradled your cheek and kissed you goodbye? Why did you press your warm hands against his chest, trembling as you murmured, ���We shouldn’t”?

We definitely should, was all he wanted to say.

He had wanted to kiss you ever since that day you ended up babysitting the girls in his apartment. The kitchen was filled with laughter as Nanako sat on the counter, mixing a bowl of cupcake batter, while Mimiko dozed in your arms. You worked together to bake cookies, the domestic scene so painfully perfect it left an impression he couldn’t shake.

You’d cook for him on nights when he came home late, too busy with cult duties to eat. Sometimes you’d bring a spoon to his lips, letting him taste-test your dishes, though they never needed anything. They were always perfect—just like you.

You should have stayed.

You should have realized how much he needed you, how much the girls needed you.

And yet, deep down, he knew why you might not.

You were a non-sorcerer.

The thought of it, the implications of it, only deepened his frustration. How could you fit into his new world—a world built to eliminate people like you? People who didn’t understand the true horrors of jujutsu, who were blind to the curses lurking in the shadows. His grand plan, his vision for a better, cleaner world, was supposed to make everything simpler. Sorcerers would rule, and the weak would fall away.

But you…

You were the exception.

Suguru hated that about himself, hated that he would allow one tiny thread to unravel the tapestry he’d been weaving. You didn’t belong in the world he was building, yet you were the one piece he couldn’t let go of.

How could he protect you in a world where the strong would reign? Where weakness—your weakness—would be punished?

The memory of your laugh cut through the haze of his thoughts. It had been so genuine, so sweet, so human. You didn’t belong in his plans, and yet you did. You had to.

Because without you, his grand vision felt hollow. Without you, there was only emptiness.

His jaw clenched as the realization solidified. You didn’t understand it yet, but he was doing this for you. For the girls. For all of them. But mostly, for himself.

He would protect you from the world he was creating. No one would touch you. No one would harm you. You’d live in safety, as his. His alone.

The phone screen lit up, mocking him with your silence. He could see when you read his messages. That was the cruelest part. You weren’t gone. You were ignoring him.

He rubbed a hand over his face, the smooth planes of his features momentarily obscured as he exhaled through gritted teeth. Maybe he’d been too soft with you. Maybe you thought you could just walk away now that the curse was gone, now that you didn’t owe him anything.

But you were wrong. You owed him everything.

The girls needed a mother. He needed you. The thought of you living a life without him, smiling for someone else, was unbearable. His lips twisted into a bitter smile as he typed out another message.

"The girls miss you.""I miss you."

Suguru’s thumb hovered over the send button, his jaw tightening as he debated. Then, with a frustrated sigh, he erased the message. Words wouldn’t be enough. Not anymore.

You needed a reminder.

He picked up his phone again, this time dialing. His assistant, Manami, answered on the second ring, her tone eager—too eager, though he ignored it. Manami had always looked at him in a way that suggested she wanted more than her job description entailed. A part of him in the past would humor the affection. Yet, now he has you. .

“I need you to watch the girls,” he said, his voice clipped. “I’ll be out for a while, picking up a... gift for them.”

Manami didn’t question him, though her tone softened, as though she thought he was doing something noble. If only she knew.

As he ended the call, his gaze shifted to the cult’s records, neatly organized and as precise as always. He was thankful for the meticulous documentation; it gave him everything he needed. Not just your number, but your address, your emergency contacts, your employment details—more than enough to find you.

Suguru let his fingers trace the edge of the file, his dark eyes scanning the information. Every detail about you, laid out in front of him. You had no idea how easily you could be found.

You could try to run, try to disappear—but you were his from now on.

Grabbing his coat, Suguru stepped out into the snow, the icy wind stinging his face. Words had failed; now he’d remind you. 

The soft glow from your apartment window illuminated the snow-covered street. He didn’t knock when he reached your door. He didn’t need to. The door yielded easily, and he slipped inside, the faint warmth of your home wrapping around him. The contrast between the cold air outside and the heat within was sharp, almost dizzying, but he welcomed it.

The sound of your soft, uneven breaths reached his ears before he saw you. There you were, standing in the kitchen, a cup of tea clutched in your hands. Your shoulders sagged with exhaustion, and there was a faint sheen of sweat on your forehead despite the winter chill. He noticed the trembling in your hands, the red tinge to your nose, and the way your other hand clutched at your chest when you coughed—a deep, rattling sound that made his brow furrow for a fleeting moment.

You looked pale, worn down, and fragile. For a moment, the sight almost softened him. Almost.

Almost made him forget why he was there. Forget the punishments he had planned. The ways he would teach you to never leave him again.

But that fleeting moment of pity was snuffed out as quickly as it came, replaced by a darker, more resolute purpose.

You had to learn.

You had to understand what it meant to belong to him.

Suguru’s fingers flexed at his sides, his mind racing through the plans he had already set in motion. He would remind you of his power—show you what a real curse user was capable of. That as sweet as he can be, he can also be cruel.

If fear wasn’t enough, he had other methods. He had already prepared the sedatives, carefully measured and tucked into his coat pocket. Once the fight left your eyes—and it would—he would take you home.

Home, where you would learn your role.

You would become the mother the girls needed. His law was absolute in their eyes, and soon it would be the same for you.

And if you resisted? If you dared to reject him, even after all he’d done for you?

Suguru’s lips twitched into a faint smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes. He didn’t want to think about that outcome, but he’d already considered it. Conditioned responses. Physical reminders. Unsavory methods. Honestly, he didn't want to hurt you. However, he needed you. The girls needed you.

No matter what it took, you would learn to stay. To belong.

Then you turned and saw him.

The teacup slipped from your hands, shattering against the floor. The sharp sound echoed in the tense silence that followed, but Suguru didn’t flinch. He tilted his head, his dark eyes locking onto yours, his expression unreadable.

“Ah,” he murmured, his voice soft and lilting, as though he were speaking to a child. “You’re sick.”

He stepped forward, his movements slow, deliberate, and predatory. The sight of your wide, fearful eyes only spurred him on.

“Too sick,” he continued, his tone warm but laced with an edge of mockery, “to even send me a little message?”

You stumbled back, your breath hitching as you pressed yourself against the counter. Your pale skin, the feverish flush to your cheeks, and the way you clutched at your chest as another cough wracked your body only made you seem more breakable.

Suguru stopped just a few steps away, watching as you trembled, your fear and exhaustion painting you as something delicate—something his.

“You’ve been suffering all alone,” he said, his voice dropping into a low, soothing hum. He reached out, his fingers brushing your wrist before curling around it with surprising gentleness.

“But don’t worry,” he murmured, leaning closer until his breath ghosted over your fevered skin. “I’m here now.”

He let his thumb stroke the inside of your wrist, his gaze unrelenting as his other hand moved to your cheek. The touch was soft, reverent even, but his dark eyes betrayed him, gleaming with something that made your stomach churn, something that sent shivers that weren’t from your cold.

“You’ve been making bad decisions, haven’t you?” he asked, his voice soft and sweet, though his words cut like glass. “Running yourself ragged. Avoiding me.”

His fingers tightened slightly around your wrist—not enough to hurt, but enough to make his control clear as you pathetically attempted to pull away.

“But it’s okay,” he whispered, brushing his thumb over your cheek. “I’ll take care of everything now.”

He leaned in, his lips brushing your ear as he murmured, his voice dripping with false kindness, “All you have to do is listen. Obey. I really didn’t want to have to go this route.”

The words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. His breath was warm against your fevered skin, his tone deceptively soft, as though he were doing you a favor.

You had never thought he was this interested in you. Suguru Geto was composed, almost aloof in how he carried himself—sharp features that seemed carved from stone, softened only by the flowing darkness of his hair. He had always been polite, controlled, and even gentle in his mannerisms, but you’d never felt singled out by his attention. Never thought the kindness in his deep, almond-shaped eyes was anything more than surface-level.

But now, as those same eyes pinned you in place, you realized how mistaken you’d been. His presence felt suffocating, the air between you charged with something you couldn’t name, and every movement he made was deliberate—calculated.

Suguru straightened slowly, his hand slipping from your wrist to his pocket, his movements unhurried and deliberate, as though he had all the time in the world. The room felt unbearably small under his presence, the heat of his gaze making your fevered skin prickle. His dark eyes never left yours, their intensity weighing down on you, as if he could see through the fragile walls of your thoughts.

When his fingers brushed the familiar shape of the syringe tucked into his coat pocket, his smile widened. It was subtle, almost imperceptible—a slight curve of his lips that revealed nothing of the storm swirling beneath his calm exterior. There it was—his failsafe. The assurance that you wouldn’t resist him any longer.

Your gaze flickered between his face and his hand, confusion and fear swimming in your fevered, glassy eyes. You wanted to protest, to push him away, but your body betrayed you. The trembling in your limbs, the bone-deep exhaustion, and the subtle pull of his voice, coaxing and unyielding, made it impossible to act.

Then, instinctively, you leaned into his touch, your trembling body seeking comfort, seeking something you didn’t understand. To him, it was perfect.

His hand, warm and firm, cupped your cheek as though you were fragile porcelain. The juxtaposition of his gentleness and the dark glint in his eyes made your stomach churn. He tilted his head slightly, the smooth cascade of his hair framing his face like a curtain, and his gaze softened, almost tender, as though he were truly savoring the moment.

Like the sweet lamb you were, you stepped willingly into the lion’s den.

“You’re coming home,” he said softly, his tone a mixture of mockery and affection. The weight of his words settled over you, heavy and inescapable, and you barely had time to comprehend them before you felt the sharp prick of the needle pierce your skin.

A startled gasp escaped your lips, but it was fleeting. The sedative coursed through your veins almost immediately, your body surrendering to the pull of unconsciousness.

Suguru caught you effortlessly as you fell, his arms wrapping around your limp form with an ease that betrayed just how much he had anticipated this moment. He cradled you against his chest with a gentleness that felt almost loving, the steady beat of his heart contrasting with the sinister gleam in his eyes.

“There we go,” he whispered, brushing a strand of hair from your face, his touch lingering as though you were something precious. “Let’s get you home, Sweetheart.”

What the hell does ghosting even mean? What does spamming even mean? Poor fella is trying to figure out life. 

Now you had given poor Choso your number. Really, truly a mistake on your part. 

You thought he was hot—mysteriously so, with his brooding gaze and those face tattoos that made your heart skip a beat. It wasn’t a big deal, just a spur-of-the-moment thing when you spotted him at the bookstore while out with friends. You’d caught his eye, flashed him a smile, and casually slipped him your number on a whim.

What you didn’t realize was that poor Choso didn’t really know what to do with it.

For him, it was monumental. You didn’t just hand over your number; you handed over your heart. At least, that’s what Todo told him when Choso, unsure what the gesture meant, hesitantly sought advice. He couldn’t just ask his little brother these things, so he went to the expert about these things! After all, Todo was dating an idol! 

“She must be madly in love with you!” Todo had declared with his usual bombastic enthusiasm, clapping Choso on the shoulder so hard it nearly made him topple. “To give you her number without even talking? That’s destiny, brother! Love at first sight!”

And Choso believed him. Why wouldn’t he? Todo seemed confident, experienced.

So Choso, armed with Todo’s wisdom, started texting you.

And texting.

And texting.

At first, they were awkwardly sweet messages:

Choso: Hey. It’s Choso. From the bookstore. You gave me your number.Choso: Are you free to talk? I want to know more about you.

But then they kept coming.

Choso: Do you like horror books? Or romance? I can read both if you do.Choso: I saw a cat today. It reminded me of you.Choso: Do you like cats? I mean, not that you look like one. But you’re soft. Wait, not that I know if you’re soft. You just seem soft.

And then they started to come faster, his nervous overthinking spilling into endless walls of text.

Choso: Did I say something wrong? Are you upset with me?Choso: I hope I’m not bothering you. I just… I think we’d be good together.Choso: Please text me back. I can wait.

What Choso didn’t realize was that spamming someone all day wasn’t exactly endearing—it was overwhelming. But in his mind, the silence meant something entirely different.

“Todo,” Choso said one evening, sitting cross-legged on the floor of his apartment, his phone clutched in both hands. His dark brows furrowed as he stared at the unanswered messages. “She hasn’t responded. Do you think… do you think she’s playing hard to get?”

Todo grinned, throwing an arm around Choso’s shoulders. “Absolutely, brother! She’s testing your devotion. This is how women work. They want to see if you’re truly worthy.”

Choso nodded solemnly, his determination renewed. “I’ll show her. I’ll show her I’m serious.”

His solution? Doubling down.

When texting didn’t work, he tried calling. His voice shook the first few times—it felt so intimate, so real.

“Hi,” he murmured into the phone one evening after your voicemail picked up again. “It’s me. Choso. I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you (the poor guy has only seen you one time). I mean—I know we haven’t talked much, but I miss you anyway (you have only exchanged names by the way). I think about you a lot. Please call me back when you can.”

And when the calls didn’t work, his thoughts began to spiral.

Was something wrong? Were you hurt? He’d seen it on TV—people ghosted because they couldn’t bring themselves to tell someone they were in trouble. Yes, that must be it.

So he started showing up.

First, it was just near the bookstore where he’d met you, hoping to “bump into” you. Then he wandered around the streets, retracing the route he thought you might take home.

Finally, he remembered the faint logo on your shopping bag that day, the one with your number scrawled on the receipt of. He found the shop, waited outside it for hours, hoping for a glimpse of you.

When he didn’t see you, his concern grew.

“Todo,” he said again one night, pacing his living room, his fingers tightening around his phone. “I don’t think she’s okay. She wouldn’t just ignore me like this. Not if she loved me.”

Todo shrugged, flipping through a magazine. “Maybe you need to show her how much you care. Do something big. Romantic.”

Choso froze, considering the advice. Todo was right. He just needed to show you.

And so, as you walked into your apartment the next evening, juggling groceries in both arms, you froze at the sight of a figure standing awkwardly in your living room.

“Choso?” you gasped, your heart leaping into your throat.You were already reaching for your phone. “How did you—”

He turned to you, a hesitant smile on his lips, his hands holding a bouquet of slightly wilted flowers. His dark eyes glimmered with a mixture of nervousness and relief, as if he were genuinely happy to see you.

“I was worried,” he said softly, stepping toward you. “You weren’t answering… so I thought I’d come check on you.��� You had never given him your address. You had only given him your family name. 

You stared at him, your mind racing, caught somewhere between shock and fear.

Choso tilted his head, his brows furrowing in genuine confusion. “Did I… do something wrong?”

You stared at Choso, your groceries still in your arms, the door half-open behind you. He didn’t move any closer, but the sight of him standing there, so out of place in your living room, sent a chill down your spine.

“How… how did you get in here?” you managed, your voice trembling.

Choso blinked, tilting his head slightly as if you’d asked him a question he didn’t understand. “Your lock wasn’t very secure,” he said simply, holding up what looked like a slim piece of metal. “I was worried. You haven’t been responding, and I thought something might have happened to you.”

The sincerity in his voice was almost disarming, but the implication of his words made your skin crawl.

“Choso,” you said slowly, setting the groceries down on the counter and keeping the island between you as a buffer, “you can’t just… break into someone’s home.”

His brows furrowed, genuine confusion flickering across his face. “I wasn’t breaking in,” he said softly, almost as if the accusation hurt him. “I just needed to make sure you were okay. You haven’t been answering me, and I thought…” His voice trailed off, and he glanced at the flowers in his hands, his grip tightening slightly around the stems.

“I’ve been busy,” you said, trying to keep your tone steady. “You didn’t need to do this. I’m fine.”

“But you’re not,” he said quietly, his dark eyes meeting yours. There was an intensity in his gaze, like he truly believed every word he was saying. “You’re not fine. If you were, you would’ve answered me. Something must be wrong.”

“No, Choso,” you said firmly, taking a deep breath. “I wasn’t ignoring you because something’s wrong. I’ve just been busy with work and other things. And honestly… you’re sending way too many messages. It’s overwhelming.”

His face fell, the fragile hope in his expression crumbling. “Overwhelming?” he echoed, as if the word were foreign to him. “But I thought… I thought you wanted me to care about you.”

You hesitated, the raw vulnerability in his voice making your stomach twist. “Choso, I gave you my number because I thought you seemed nice. That’s all. I didn’t mean for this to… to go this far.”

He stared at you, unblinking, as if trying to process your words. The silence stretched between you, heavy and suffocating.

Finally, he spoke, his voice trembling slightly. “So… you don’t want me to care about you?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” you said quickly, trying to keep your tone gentle. “I just think maybe you’ve misunderstood. I didn’t mean for you to think… we were something more.”

His grip on the flowers tightened, the fragile petals crumpling beneath his fingers. For a moment, he didn’t say anything, his eyes distant as if he were lost in thought.

Then, slowly, he nodded. “I understand,” he murmured, though his tone was unsettlingly calm. “You’ve been busy. You’ve been… overwhelmed.”

You exhaled in relief, thinking maybe he’d finally gotten the message. But then he looked up at you again, his eyes bright with a strange, unsettling determination.

“I’ll just come check on you more often,” he said, his voice soft but firm, as if he’d made up his mind.

Your heart sank. “Choso, that’s not—”

“No, it’s okay,” he interrupted, his tone almost cheerful now. “You don’t have to feel bad. I know you’re busy, and sometimes it’s hard to keep up with everything. But I can help. I can make sure you’re okay. You shouldn’t have to do everything on your own.”

The way he said it, so matter-of-factly, made your blood run cold.

“You don’t need to do that,” you said quickly, your voice trembling. “I’m fine, really. You don’t need to check on me.”

“But I want to,” he insisted, his expression softening with something that almost looked like affection. “I care about you. Isn’t that what you want? Someone who cares?”

You stepped back, the counter pressing into your spine as you tried to put more distance between you. “Choso, this isn’t—”

“It’s okay,” he said again, cutting you off with a small, reassuring smile. “I’ll make it work. You don’t have to say anything now. I’ll take care of it.”

Before you could respond, he stepped toward the door, his movements deliberate and unhurried.

“I’ll see you soon,” he said softly, glancing over his shoulder with a faint smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you’re never too busy again.”

And then he was gone, leaving the faint scent of crushed flowers in the air.

You locked the door behind him, your hands trembling as you slid the deadbolt into place. The faint scent of crushed flowers still lingered in the air, a sickly-sweet reminder of his presence.

For a moment, the silence felt almost deafening. You stared at the door, hoping—praying—that this would be the end of it.

Choso didn’t understand.

He didn’t understand boundaries, didn’t understand what his actions meant to you. To him, this wasn’t wrong—it was pure love. That you must love him too. 

[freezeris]

⋆⁺₊❅.🎄personal astro observations ii🎄⋆⁺₊❅.

❗️Just a heads up: I'm not a professional, just an amateur, and these are going to be largely based on my first-hand experiences and people I know. Unfortunately I've had a lot of unfavorable experiences in my earlier life, so there will be a good amount of negative points I make about some placements, but in no way does this mean I think everyone who has these will express them in this way. We all have all 12 signs in our charts, so to hate any one of the archetypes would be detrimental to one's own growth, I think. Also: I mostly use tropical astrology and the placidus house system, so most observations will be based on that.

🎄 I'm sorry Aquarius Moon/Venus, but you are not beating the allegations... 👩‍⚖️ Not to be another person getting on Aquarius Moon/Venus' ass, but them ghosting you as soon as you show too much interest in them is SO real. 😭 If you're interested in one it's probably best to let them do most of the courting/pursuing and let them set the pace.

Aquarius is also ruled by Saturn, after all, so similar to Capricorn they can be more attracted if there's an element of challenge or difficulty in making the relationship work. Although they may not be aware or willing to admit it. 😅 This is why you often see them with partners who are way older, bad boys, rebels or outcasts in some way. Taylor Swift, especially in her youth, was such a good example of this and she is an Aquarius Venus. I mean: the song "Ours" is so fitting for this placement. 😭

That being said, these people usually make for great friends. 💗 It's just hard for them to date/marry because they prefer to naturally transition from friends to lovers without making a big deal of it. Honestly you might be better off not trying to have the "what are we?" conversation if you don't want to risk having them run off to da milk store......even though they're lactose intolerant........😭

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🎄 One reason why I find the Placidus house system so interesting is because of Interceptions and duplicate houses. I have a Gemini – Sagittarius Interception in the 4H – 10H Axis, and I definitely feel as though I was "denied" the traits of these signs in my self-expression. I was actively discouraged from being too curious or questioning of the worldview the adults around me tried to instill in me. My curiousity and zest for exploration & expansion was not nurtured at all. These themes simply weren't present in my upbringing. We never even took a single trip together as family, which is such a direct way for this Interception to manifest. 😅

Interceptions happen when your Midheaven is in a sign that trines or sextiles your Ascendant, instead of doing the normal square. So if you are an Aries Rising, the "normal" layout would call for Capricorn to be your MC, but it's also possible for it to fall in Aquarius instead. (Although this particular combination is very rare and not every combination is possible.) In that case some of the house cusps will be out of order and one pair of sister signs ends up being skipped, while another gets duplicated.

🎄Staying on the topic of Midheaven: when you have it in a sign that's not "normal" for your Ascendant to be paired with, and you look at your chart in the Whole Sign System, you'll notice that it will fall either in your 9th or 11th house, instead of your 10th.

🎄I've noticed that people with their MC in the 9th are more likely to be remembered for things that happened very early in their career or life in general. They are often more associated with how they got to their current point in life, than how they are doing right now. In celebrities I often see this as the media being obsessed with the one performance or song the star delivered in their youth, but not so much caring about the projects they do later in life. 😅

This isn't me calling anyone with this placement "washed up" or saying they peak early, it's just that people are obsessed with the things these natives did earlier in their career, to the point where it can overshadow their later achievements. I have this too, so I'm in the same boat. 🥲 But the good thing about MC in the 9th House is that it's easier to lay low and maintain a good reputation. As long as you weren't involved in too many scandalous things in your youth, at least.

Some examples:

🎄Dylan & Cole Sprouse (Virgo ASC + Taurus MC) who are still most famous for starring in "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody".

🎄Uma Thurman (Virgo ASC + Taurus MC) who is most associated with her roles in Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill.

🎄Dakota Fanning (Taurus ASC + Capricorn MC), was the youngest child actor to receive a SAG nomination, and is largely associated with the roles she took very early on in her career.

🎄Lorde (Capricorn ASC + Virgo MC) released "Royals" when she was 16/17 years young and it's still her most popular single to date.

🎄Robert Pattinson, (Taurus ASC + Capricorn MC) he's most associated with his role in Twilight, even though he's been landing other big roles as well, like him taking up the mantle as the new Batman.

🎄Mariah Carey (Taurus ASC + Capricorn MC) and her most well-known singles were released decades ago.

🎄Ben Affleck (Cancer ASC + Pisces MC), the roles he's most associated with are from films in the 90s and early 2000s.

🎄Johnny Depp (Leo ASC + Aries MC), his most iconic roles are from movies made in the 90s & early 2000s.

₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*

🎄Meanwhile people with their MC in the 11th House, I've noticed, are more likely to have a big breakthrough later in their career. Their reputation tends to shift more frequently as well. Often they are also heavily associated with philantrophy, social justice or how they revolutionized something in their field/the world in general. These natives tend to be more active and popular on social media as well, compared to MC in the 9H.

Some examples:

🎄Chris Evans (Scorpio ASC + Virgo MC) and he had his big breakthrough moment in the 2010s as Captain America, and has enjoyed a lot more popularity from that point onwards.

🎄Antony Starr (Leo ASC + Gemini MC), had been an actor for decades before he took his big role as Homelander.

🎄Ariana Grande (Capricorn ASC + Scorpio MC), of course she is still quite young and has already risen to prominence in her teens/twenties, but her fame and relevancy only seems to be increasing with every year.

🎄Margot Robbie (Cancer ASC + Taurus MC), had her big break in 2013, due to her role in Wolf of Wall Street, and has only continued to cement herself as a popular actor since. The recent Barbie Movie is what really pushed her into the Mainstream.

🎄J.K. Rowling (Aquarius ASC + Sagittarius MC), we all know by now it took her a while to have her breakthrough. Over the years she's been very vocal on social media and her reputation has changed quite a bit. She went from mostly being known as a beloved childrens book author to someone who fights transwomen with tooth and nail... Yet the Harry Potter franchise still continues to grow in popularity, because it has a broad appeal and a lot of people feel nostalgic for it, having grown up with the series.

🎄This one is not 100% confirmed, but I still wanted to bring it up: Taylor Swift (suspected to be a Scorpio ASC + Virgo MC). I personally think this makes sense for multiple reasons. Of course she's always been successful ever since her debut, but her fame only keeps increasing. Even she didn't think she was ever gonna get bigger than she was back at her first peak in 2014, but clearly that has been proven wrong when The Eras Tour rolled around. Her reputation & public reception has changed a lot over the years as well. In part this is definitely due to her strong Scorpio energy (which she would still have even if she wasn't a Scorpio Rising), but having MC in the 11th and in a mutable sign like Virgo can also add to this. She's always been very present on social media, as well. Particularly in the earlier days of her career she was fairly active on MySpace, Tumblr and Twitter.

🎄Not fully confirmed either: but Pedro Pascal said he is either a Gemini or Cancer Rising. His MC would most likely fall in Aries either way, but I'm leaning more towards him being a Gemini Rising. This would also put his MC in his 11th House in Whole Sign, and it's certainly true for him that he has only had his big break in acting less than a decade ago. His popularity only continues to skyrocket with time.

🎄Sidenote: It's VERY RARE, but sometimes it's even possible to have your MC falling in your 8th or 12th house. I know a few celebrities who have, for example, a Gemini Rising with a Capricorn Midheaven, which would fall in their 8H in Whole Signs. I wanted to give a quick acknowledgement that this is also a possibility.

🎄 Paul Mescal is the most obvious Saturn dominant man I've ever seen. All of his planets, except for Pluto & Moon, are either in Saturn-ruled signs or conjunct his Saturn. We don't know his birth time, but no matter what his chart ruler is, Saturn will always be really dominant in his chart. 🪐

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🎄Having Pluto in the 4th or Pluto square Moon could mean your Mother started out as being really controlling, and then somewhere down the line did the opposite thing and abandoned you. Or the opposite scenario happened, where she wasn't very present in the early childhood of her children, but suddenly feels the need to insert herself once they're older. A good fictional example of the latter situation would by Lyra from His Dark Materials and her Mother Marisa Coulter. Pluto rules over extremes and control (issues), so when it touches the Moon or 4th House the mother tends to act in very extreme & controlling ways.

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🎄I would recommend against dating/being close friends with someone who has their Saturn in the same modality as most of your personal planets, especially when it squares. Or rather, you might notice that when you try to, you just don't feel comfortable opening up to them in the first place.

Saturn is where we can have the highest standards and biggest insecurities, causing us to be extremely critical of people who have placements in the same modality as our Saturn.

Unfortunately most of my family members have mutable Saturns, while I'm a mutabe dominant, so I've never felt comfortable being myself with them and they never really appreciated me. For me the ideal partner would probably have a cardinal Saturn, as I only have one cardinal placement. They'd be better off not having too many fixed personal planets themselves, though, since I'm a fixed Saturn and obviously I don't want to constantly feel critical of my partner and closest friends either. 😅

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄I've noticed some Gemini/Mercury dominant natives really have a thing for Bees and pollinators. I knew a Gemini Sun, Virgo Rising who said they were her favorites and even got a tattoo of one. She would often try to rescue them too. 🐝

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄I've noticed Pisces dominants, especially Pisces Venus, tend to prefer media that is more lighthearted and family friendly. They're pretty sensitive to negative energies, so they don't usually like saturating their minds with too much dark & serious stuff. It can really weigh on them and cause nightmares. It's also probably due to being exalted in Venus, which is a planet that mostly relates to pleasant energies. So Taurus & Libra dominants could also be like this, but for Pisces it's usually more emotionally intense as a water sign.

🎄 Mars in the 9th often gets this rep of forcing their own views on others, and it for sure can manifest this way. But I will say as someone with this placement myself, that I've CONSTANTLY been on the receiving end of this treatment, but I've never actually tried to do this myself because I fucking loathe when someone does that. I notice with this placement that if you (as the 9th House Mars person) don't stand firm in your beliefs, you'll have so many mfers come at you and try to bully you into taking on their belief system. 😭 I guess this is because where your Mars sits you invite in conflict and shows of dominance the most from other people. If you're not adamant and dominant enough in your beliefs, someone else will try to dominate that area of your life for you. You really gotta say: "No I don't take criticism, fuck off! 👊💥👊💥👊💥"

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄 8H Suns can sometimes have a father that is considered wealthy because the Sun = Father and 8H = inheritances. However, I will say as a 8H Sun myself, my father/family has always lived pretty close to the poverty line (although it could've been worse and I'm grateful for what I did have growing up), BUT when I compare my father to his parents and siblings, he is indeed the most successful person in his family. I'd say it's the same with Moon in 8H = having a (relatively) wealthy mother. A lot of things in astrology are relative compared to the persons family and peers, so not everyone with this will be RICH rich.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄 Another thing that an 8H Sun/Moon could indicate is having a parent who is often physically (sometimes emotionally) absent from the natives life. It doesn't have to be straight up abandonment, it can also show up as the parent just traveling a lot for work or spending a lot of time at work. It doesn't always have to be in the natives childhood either. Sometimes they will have their parent for most of their childhood, but then the native themself moves away to a different city or country for boarding school/college/work/other reasons and could really miss their parents because of it. Sun or Moon in the 12th can experience this too, from what I've seen. The traveling/long distance aspect would apply even more strongly to the 12th House placements.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄I often see Cancer Rising & a dominant Moon in the Solar Return Chart be cited as a strong indicator for conceiving/birthing children. And that's true, but I've rarely seen people mention Venus dominance in the SR chart being an indicator of this as well.

Because when I checked when my mother gave birth to both me and my sister, she had a Taurus & Libra ASC respectively. In the Taurus Rising SR her Venus (Chart Ruler) fell in her 5th house, along with the Sun & North Node.

In the Libra Rising SR she didn't have the Chart Ruler in the 5th or 4th, but she did have Venus conjunct Jupiter, Juno & North Node (in the 9th) + Uranus in the 5th. The Moon was also conjunct IC but from the 3rd house. And indeed, my sister was not a planned addition to the family, as Uranus would suggest.

🎄Cancer & Leo are the only-children of the Zodiac. They are basically meant to be the most "selfish" signs since they are ruled by the Luminaries (Sun & Moon) which are the most egoic planets. They are also the only signs to not share a planetary ruler with any other sign, hence why I lovingly call them "only children" lol. 😂 I can't stress enough that when I say this I don't mean it as an insult. It's just what the signs and their ruling planets represent. Ego isn't all bad. Plus, that's why they have the Saturn ruled signs (Capricorn and Aquarius) as their sister signs. They're here to make sure Leo and Cancer don't become blind to their surroundings, since Saturn and Capricorn + Aquarius rule over institutions, communities and societal structure, while the Moon/Cancer and Sun/Leo are very "self" & survival based.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄 If you lack a certain element or modality in your chart, you'll probably feel more attracted to people dominant in this energy as well. I have very little fire and air energy, so most of the people that felt drawn to me or that I felt drawn to were dominant in it.

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🎄Very specific, but if you have a T-square you can also find yourself attracting people who have placements in the "empty leg" sign. Basically the sign opposite to the planet that receives the squares. In my case that would be Gemini, and that's probably the sign I used to attract the most. 😂

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄I don't know that many Capricorn Moons, and I've never had a super close relationship with one, but those that I have known were usually really sweet to me. Maybe that's just my impression because I'm also an Earth Moon, so we trine and naturally have easy rapport. But based on all the descriptions I've read y'all made them sound so cold and scary? 😭 Well they don't seem to be with me. 😌💅 Might also be in part because they fall in my 5H. Other people's placements in your 5th house will have a hard time resisting being more open and silly around you. 🐐 🎊

I mean, apparently everyone's favorite man, Pedro Pascal, is a Capricorn Moon too. And it even squares his Sun, yet he is extremely charming and likeable (sorry but I can't not simp, I am not immune to this man 🙈).

WELL, that is it for now, folks! Thanks for reading, if you've come this far. MWAH. 🫶

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅°･*❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*

🎄dividers by dollywons🎄

[iwtv-theories]

The more I think about it… the more I believe Marius wiped Daniel’s memories & messed with Armand’s childhood memories .

Marius messing with Daniel’s memories would be a parallel to how in the books: Marius (for a while) was a barrier between Daniel and Armand eventually getting back together. And we see in the first episode , Daniel’s memoir (about his faulty memories) was published under Roman Weiss (a possible Romanus easteregg since Marius was prideful about being a Roman). Not to mention the shot where Daniel stares at Marius’ painting and says “never heard of him” while Armand is blurred in the background . This could be another hint that Marius blurred his memories of Armand .

Plus, when Daniel has archives of Armand and Louis he first types into the search bar “Marius de Romanus” . It could indicate his subconscious may remember something about Marius. Which is why he seems to have such an interest in him.

Marius forever altering Armand’s loving relationships because he thinks he knows what’s best best for Armand is why he turned Sybil and Benji against Armand’s wishes , and behind his back. Armand claims that Marius changed them as an act of spite because Armand could not be the fledgling Marius wanted him to be. So it wouldn’t be that out of character to mess with Daniel’s memories (behind Armand’s back for similar reasons ). And I do wonder if he messed with Amadeo’s memories too.

In the books Armand’s dad loved him and was attacked when chasing down the slavers . So , the show change of his parents selling him is interesting. Maybe it’s just an adaption change but maybe it’s more sinister than that . And in the show adaption Marius altered that memory (cause he wanted Amadeo to believe he was the only loving ‘father figure’ in Amadeo’s life/ the first person to ever love him). If that’s the case that opens a lot of other horrifying possibilities . For instance, Marius (in the show) may have done so since he wanted to ‘groom’ Amadeo in to the perfect companion: “ to make a blood drinker for my own companionship, indeed to educate a mortal youth for this very purpose, and to GROOM HIM EXPERTLY so that he might be the finest choice.” / “A helpless child. I could mold you and change you, all of which I've done." To be fair, it wouldn’t surprise me at all that Armand doesn’t remember certain things because of tra*ma .I believe some of his amnesia is from that.

But, also in the books there were lines that could be recontextualized in the show as foreshadowing that Marius altered Armand’s memories. Marius to Amadeo : "whatever the past hammered into your soul let it go... Don’t chase these memories" . Amadeo : "(Marius') mumbled words. By the end of week I could not remember one word of my mother tongue.”

The lines made me recall how Armand in the show mentions “tabula rasa” ( which in Latin means “blank slate”) . In philosophy tabula rasa is a theory that says : at birth the mind is hypothetically a blank or empty slate before receiving memories that shape them into who they are. '

‘Tabula rasa' originates from ancient ROMAN civilization. The term comes from the Roman tabula, a wax-covered tablet used for notes, which was blanked (rasa) by heating the wax and then smoothing it.  In the books Armand called himself a " wax doll". And maybe Armand and his tablet obsession is a word pun. Hm?

Would Marius be interested in testing the theory of 'tabula rasa' in order to make the “perfect companion” ? Amadeo essentially was a blank slate for Marius to shape . He was mute and barely remembered anything of his past before Marius - a blank slate that Marius would have benefitted from. Was this just a coincidence? Did he chose him for this reason? Or did Marius have something to do with it? Later in the books he wanted to help Armand recall his forgotten memories but the show may go in another direction entirely . There must be some significant reason to introduce this new power to the canon?

Would he try to mess with Armand’s memories even in the 70s/80s???! I don’t necessarily believe he’d go that far to be honest. Unless Armand had such a negative reaction to him wiping Daniel’s memories that Marius decided to just cover his tracks and brain wipe Armand too .In the books , Lestat could ‘mind -read / speak’ to his fledglings cause he drank from Akasha . So since Marius also drank from her - he may (theoretically) be able to mess with Armand’s mind in the 80s. if so, the biggest “telenovela “ twist would be that Armand doesn’t remember devil’s minion either . 😅

[crazyunsexycool]

A Love as Sweet as Honey

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word count: 3.1K

A/N: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays my lovely people. Here is a small Christmas one shot for our new favorite family. I know it's a little bit late but these last few days have been hectic. I hope you like it.

Warning: Fluff, a little bit of angst, implied smut, Christmas!!!

Series Masterlist

You hadn’t celebrated Christmas in years but this time it was different. There was a huge reason to put up decorations, watch Christmas movies, listen to Christmas songs and marvel at all the twinkling Christmas lights. And that reason was currently crawling her way to the Christmas tree. Since Steve brought home a tree and used as many lights as he could, Bee couldn’t stay away. She moves surprisingly fast for her age. You can hear her small coos as she reaches for a branch with her tiny hand. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Steve’s voice cuts over the Christmas music that’s playing softly. “Does my girl want to look at the lights again?” 

You walk into the living room just as Steve picks Bee up. She still looks so tiny in his arms. Her giggles make you smile as you watch father and daughter admire the bright lights and colorful decorations. 

“I have her hat.” You finally interrupt them, holding up the knitted accessory. “We should get going.” 

“Alright, Honeybee let’s get you all bundled up.” 

You put the beanie on Bee’s head and make sure she still had her socks on. Then you grab your coat and put it on quickly before taking Bee so that Steve could put his coat on. 

“I think we’re all set. Let’s go.” Steve ushers you and Bee to the car. 

The three of you were heading to a Christmas light show. You hoped Bee would love it just as much as she seemed to love the lights you and Steve had around the house.

****

“Alright, my sweet Bee,” you say as you unbuckle Bee from her car seat. “Let’s get you into your stroller.” 

Bee giggles as you lift her up. Her little feet kicking in excitement as she looks around the unfamiliar place. As you strap her into her stroller Steve hands you her blanket and you make sure Bee is tucked in comfortably. 

“Are you ready for your first light show, baby?” You ask with a smile, receiving a happy little grunt in response. 

“I’ve got her bag,” Steve says as he shoulders the backpack full of things you might need for Bee. “I think we’re ready to go.” 

You just nod and start pushing the stroller. Steve stays close at all times. He receives a few stares as you walk by other people but fortunately you’re left alone. It takes about five minutes to get to the entrance of the actual attraction. You both hear the tiniest gasp come from the stroller the moment you start to see all the twinkling lights. 

“Oohhh.” Bee coos as she points at all the lights. 

You and Steve can’t stop smiling at Bee’s reaction. She was obsessed with the lights. You knew because of the way she scrunched her nose up like Steve did when he was really happy about something. 

Halfway through the walkthrough Bee gets fussy to the point that Steve picks her up. He gets her closer to the displays and you have a cheerful baby again. You and Steve stop to get some hot chocolate and enjoy some carolers. 

“This is nice.” Steve says between sips of his drink. 

“Yeah, I’ve never done this before.”   

He leans in and kisses your temple. “Well then it’s a family first.” 

“A new tradition, maybe?” 

Steve looks down at Bee who is entranced by the twinkling decorations. “Definitely a new tradition.” 

~~~~~~~~~~

Steve walks into your shared home to the fire alarm going off. He rushes to the kitchen to see you with tears in your eyes and smoking coming out of the oven.

“What’s going on?” Steve asks as he rushes over to your side. 

You blink back tears as you look up at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin them.” 

“Ruin what, Honey?” 

“The cookies. I’ve tried to make like six batches and they’ve come out horrible.” 

“What are you making cookies for?” 

“I wanted us to sit together and decorate cookies with Bee. But I can’t get a stupid recipe right.” You buried your face in Steve’s chest and wrapped your arms around his midsection. 

“It’s ok Honey. We don’t have to decorate cookies.” 

You pull back to look at Steve, completely offended by his statement. “Of course we do. It’s a Christmas tradition.” 

“Honey, Bee isn’t going to remember this Christmas.” 

“But we will. And she deserves to have the best Christmas ever with all of the fun things we can come up with. But I can’t even give her that. She deserves to have family traditions.”

Holidays in general were a sensitive subject for you. Your family always excluded you from all of the fun things they would do. But now you were determined to give your sweet baby girl everything you never had. Unfortunately you aren’t a great cook or baker. 

“You know what, we’ll figure it out.” Steve grabs the recipe you’d printed out for sugar cookies and looks it over. “How about we take a break and then try again later?”

“Okay.” 

“Steebie?” Charlotte’s voice rings in the entryway.

“In the kitchen sweetheart.” 

Fast little footsteps echo in the hallway before Lottie and Henry appear in the kitchen. 

“Hi guys. What’s going on?” 

“We’re having a cookie decorating party and we wanted to invite you.” Henry holds up an actual invitation. It was hand drawn, Lottie being the artist behind it. “The party was Lottie’s idea.” 

You look over at Lottie who has the most sympathetic and sweetest smile on her face as she walks up to you. 

“Don’t cwy fo cookies, Duckie.” She says when you squat down to her level. “We habe so many.” 

“Thank you Lottie.” 

She smiles again as she hugs you. 

“You two are the best.” Steve ruffles Henry’s hair. “We’ll be over in a minute ok?” 

“Ok.” Henry nods before holding his hand out. “Let’s go baby.”

“See you latuh.” 

You stand up and lean into Steve’s awaiting arms. 

“There we go. We have cookies for our girl.” Steve says. “Are you ok with that?”

You just nod against his chest. The baby monitor crackles as Bee begins to cry. 

“Why don’t you go get her and I’ll clean up the kitchen?” 

You look around at the mess and start to feel bad about the whole thing. 

“Don’t worry about it. Go get Bee.” Steve gently pushes you out of the kitchen.

“Ok.”

****

The Barnes home smelled like vanilla, cinnamon and all things sweet. There’s laughter coming from the kitchen so you and Steve follow the sound. You find all five of the Barnes family together. There are cookies cooling on one counter top, flour and dough on another. Henry was currently working with the standmixer to make icing, his hair pulled back and an apron stained with powdered sugar.

“Bee-bee, hi.” Peanut waves at Steve. 

“Hi, Peanut.”

“We’re glad you made it.” 

“Thank you for the invitation.” You tell Sugar. 

“Of course, you know you’re always welcome.” 

“Now, give me my niece.” Bucky holds his hands out. Bee initially hides her face against Steve’s shoulder. “Oh come on, Bee. It’s your favorite uncle. C’mon sweet girl.” Bucky tickles her side making her giggle and she turns to look at him. “There you are, c’mon.” 

Bee holds her arms out and goes with Bucky. As soon as Steve has handed her over Peanut does grabby hands in order to be picked up. 

“Is there anything I can help with?” You ask as you look around. 

“I was just going to start setting up the decorating stations on the table. Can you grab the sprinkles and those plates?” 

“Of course.” 

You and Sugar move around the table to set everything up. Lottie follows you both and hands you the little things you need like spoons, napkins, and piping bags. Just as you finish Sam, Wanda, Vision, Nat and Sugar’s siblings walk in. All of them are ready to decorate cookies together. The whole group sits around the table trading stories. You have Bee on your lap and you’re trying to get some icing on the cookie but Bee keeps trying to grab the spatula you were using. 

“Sweet Bee let me spread this on the cookie.” 

Bee replies by letting out a high pitched scream and smacking her hand on the table a few times. Everyone’s eyes are on her and suddenly she’s shrinking into you. 

“That’s right, you tell her.” Nat says from across the table with a smile. 

Bee gives her a shy smile before getting distracted by the cookie in front of her. For the next few hours everyone decorates cookies and talks. It’s nice to have this group of people in your life. As you watch Steve fail at decorating a cookie because Bee keeps licking the icing off you can’t help but smile. While Steve doesn’t have any other living relatives and you are not in contact with your family, your daughter isn’t missing out on the love of aunts, uncles and cousins. 

“What do you think?” Steve leans in. “A new tradition?” 

“Yes, a new tradition.” 

He sends you that grin you love so much before pressing a quick kiss to your lips. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas was getting closer. Sam had agreed to watch Bee while you and Steve went shopping for gifts. Now you were sitting in the living room at night getting ready to wrap everything. You had set up all the wrapping paper, tape, scissors and gift bags out to keep things running smoothly. 

“Alright, Bee’s down for the night. Let’s get started.” Steve claps his hands. 

“I think we went a little overboard with gifts for her.” 

“I think we did just fine. Bee deserves everything.”

You raise a brow at him. “While I agree that she deserves absolutely everything on this earth, we don’t want her to be spoiled and become a brat.”

“She won’t. We won’t let her.” 

“If you say so.” You mutter. 

“I do. Now,” Steve pulls you closer and presses his lips against yours. “Should we wrap presents or can I unwrap you?” His hands slip under your shirt and run up and down your sides. 

“Steve…”

“Yes, Honey?” 

You giggle as he kisses down your neck. 

“We have to-“ you cut yourself off with a whimper when Steve pulls you in and you can feel his arousal.

“Unwrapping it is.” Steve says with a smirk  as he walks you towards the couch.

You laugh as you hit the couch. Steve settles himself on top of you. His eyes darken with want. You run your hands through his hair until they stop at his neck and you pull him down for a kiss.

****

You lay on the couch and pressed against Steve, naked. Only a throw blanket covering you up. The stack of presents sit all around but you can’t be bothered to get up.

“You’re going to have to wrap all of these by yourself.” You murmur, fighting to stay awake. 

“Why? Are you too tired to wrap a few gifts?” Steve was way too smug for your liking but you were too tired. 

“Shut up.” 

Steve chuckles as he runs his fingertips up and down your spine. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of all of this.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Christmas Eve and you were so excited. Steve had to work so you had time to set up a small surprise for him. The dining room table was set up for a romantic dinner. 

“Honey?” Steve calls out from the front door. 

“In the dining room.” You reply as you finish placing a wine glass down. 

“Hey,” Steve stops in his tracks as he looks at the set up. 

There are candles on the table, Steve’s favorite dinner is waiting for him. But the best part is his girls. You and Bee are in similar burgundy colored dresses. Bee’s nose scrunches up as she smiles and holds her arms out for him. Your smile is just as captivating and Steve can’t believe he gets to live his dream.

“What’s all this?” He asks as he gets closer to you. 

“Well, you always do so much for us that we wanted to surprise you. It was all Bee’s idea.” 

“Is that right, sweet girl?” Steve says as he takes Bee from you and kisses her cheek. Bee replies in kind by nuzzling her nose into his cheek. 

You smile up at them. Something about seeing Steve being such a good father makes your heart stutter. In your eyes there is no one more suited for the job. 

“Thank you, Honey.” Steve leans down and gives you a sweet kiss. 

“No, thank you for being so wonderful.” 

You gently push Steve to take a seat and then you settle Bee in her high chair. The three of you spend a quiet dinner together knowing that Christmas Day will be spent with your found family. 

**** 

After dinner the three of you sit in the living room in matching pajamas and watch a Christmas movie or two. Halfway through the second movie Bee falls asleep in Steve’s arms. You expected that he’d go and settle her down for the night but instead Steve just shifts Bee around a little and goes back to watching the movie.

“Do you want me to take her up?” You whisper.

“No, I want to hold her a little longer. I want to hold you too, C’mere.” He raises his free arm up and you snuggle into his side. Steve presses a kiss to the top of your head. 

You watch the rest of the movie snuggled up together. This was easily the best Christmas you ever had. You were sure there was nothing that could ever top this moment. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning you were awake way too early. Excitement for the day ahead had you up and getting ready. While Bee was still sleeping you and Steve decided to exchange gifts. It surprised you how much he paid attention to you with all the gifts he got. You were even more surprised that he had gotten you as much as he had since you didn’t know where he had hidden it. But he was equally surprised when you gave him just about the same amount of gifts. 

What the two of you were really waiting for was Bee to wake up. This was her first Christmas and you wanted to see her open gifts. Just as you and Steve finished your coffee Bee could be heard cooing on the baby monitor. Both of you rushed into her nursery to meet a smiling and still sleepy baby. You changed her diaper and changed her into a onesie that said baby’s first Christmas. 

Downstairs Steve had set up a video camera in order to capture the moment of Bee opening her gifts. The three of you sat down by the tree and Steve got the first gift for Bee. You two were like kids in a candy store as you watched Bee’s little fingers scratch at the paper. She got easily distracted by the twinkling lights of the tree so you had to bring her attention back. 

Every gift had grabbed her attention. There was everything from clothes to toys to books. More than a kid could ever need and Steve had to admit that you were right. Maybe it was a little bit too much. Bee didn’t seem to mind all the gifts though, especially the toys. She giggled and cooed happily as you and Steve sat and played with her. 

****

The team was gathering in the compound for a Christmas party. The usual attendees were already there including Sam and Clint’s family. The kids were running around playing with their new toys while the adults sat around talking. 

“Why don’t you two lovely ladies get settled and I’ll be back with the rest of the gifts.” 

“Are you sure? I can get someone to watch Bee.” You turn to look at Steve. 

“Absolutely not. I’ll take care of getting the gifts up here.” 

“Ok.” You smile at Steve and head towards Sugar who is patting the empty seat next to her. 

“Oh my goodness, look at you.” She gushes over Bee’s cute red corduroy overall dress. She had a white long sleeve onesie underneath, matching white knee high socks and a red bow headband. 

Peanut waddles their way over to you. They reach for Bee and both of them start to babble. You smile before turning to Sugar, the two of you talk about how your morning went. 

As the day went on more gifts were exchanged. Fortunately you and Sugar had put your foot down at a two gift maximum for the kids knowing the aunts and uncles, especially Tony, would go overboard. 

Bee was especially enamored with a bumblebee stuffie that Lottie had picked out for her future best friend. 

“See,” Lottie motioned to Bee who was hugging the stuffie. “She lobes it. I see it my fut-uh dweams.” She beams. 

“Thank you sweetheart. We’ll make sure to take good care of it.” Steve replies with a smile.  

“Kay. Can we dance Steebie?” 

Steve chuckles but nods as he takes Lottie’s hand. Rocking around the Christmas tree plays as Lottie and Steve dance around. Soon enough the other kids join and even some parents join them. 

The rest of the afternoon is spent in a calm and entertaining environment. Some of the guys are trying to put together a few of the toys the kids got. Tony obviously decides to be the so-called project manager and they argue amongst themselves instead of actually assembling the toys. You, Sugar, Sarah and Laura watch them work. In the end the toys were done but it took way longer than necessary. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the end of the day you had a very sleepy baby in your arms. Bee clung to you even as you tried to change her into pajamas. Instead of putting her down in her crib you brought her into your bed and settled her right in the middle. She held the bumblebee stuffie in one hand and gripped your shirt with the other. Her big blue eyes blinked owlishly at you. 

“Did you have the best day ever?” You murmur as you caress her cheek. 

She responds with a sleepy smile. Bee turns her head as the bed dips next to her and her attention shifts to Steve. While still in your arms she turns so that she can get a better look at him. 

“Hi my sweet girl. Are you ready for bed?” 

Bee tries so hard to stay awake but you know she’s exhausted after all the fun and excitement of the day. You can’t help the smile that forms on your lips as Steve sings a final Christmas song as the lullaby for the night. His voice soft and soothing pushes Bee into dreamland. 

“You and Bee are the best thing to ever happen to me.” Steve whispers. 

You smile up at him. “You and Bee are the best thing to ever happen to me too.” 

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[katerinaaqu]

Hello, I have a question. I am not far in my Odyssey reading and I was wondering about the suitors.

In Epic (yes, you hate it I know, but it's my ref for now) the suitors want to SA Penelope, it is explicitly said. I was wondering if in the OG story, the suitors also wanted to harm her in that way or if they didn't have such intentions.

Hate is a strong word but if there is something that I hate is this whole obsession with people treating mythology of my culture as clean slate and free game to do whatever with and spreading so much misinformation about it or have the obsession to change it to THAT degree in the first place. The musical I think it got straight out disrespectful and ridiculous to the original material plot-wise but I do recognize the passion of the people working on it and I appreciate people who regardless of their like or dislike for it that they are curious to find out on the original Odyssey and they do not consider this musical as some sort of equivalent to the original or substitute to it. My disagreement and dislike for it as well as my annoyance that it takes over social media is strictly my business and mind and has nothing to do with fans of course. I also am against fan mentality for greek mythology because mythology is a rich cultural background and important thing to Greek culture and not another fandom like Harry Potter or lord of the Rings or anything. But of course there is nothing I can do about this mentality either

Anyways I am glad you wanna ask on it.

No that was never said in the Odyssey. That seems like yet another piece of random bullocks for the musical to make the suitors even more "evil" and dislikable. However the suitors DID want to force Penelope to choose one of them as her husband so they obviously wanted to force her to marry. They abused the custom of Xenia or hospitality to stay in the palace for 3 to 4 years while eating and drinking everything and doing basically a psychological war to Penelope, harassing Telemachus with their words or insulting him and they would generally be rude or even abusive to slaves and servants that were loyal to Odysseus. They also lay with the several slave girls at the palace that apparel entered the relationship to gain something while others like Penelope's protégé, a girl named Melantho that Penelope raised from infantry like her own daughter, was apparently in love with one of the suitors. The slave girls betrayed Penelope's secret to the suitors (that she was pretending to make the future funeral shroud for Laertes and at night she was destroying it and starting again in the morning, thus keeping the suitors at bay for 3 years only to be discovered at the 4th).

The suitors definitely wanted to force Penelope to get married and they seemed ready to commit even the murder of Odysseus IF he were to come back (of course that seemed more like boasting than anything else since they were almost certain beyond doubt that Odysseus was dead). Later when Telemachus gained courage by Athena to travel and search information on his father (the part of Odyssey called "Telemachy") they got worried and conspired to murder him and set an ambush for him.

All in all the suitors did many things that are downright criminal such as the conspiracy for murder of Telegony and abusing the law of Xenia. They undoubtedly wanted to force Penelope to marry one of them and they were furious at her trick but no it was never stated in the Odyssey that they would...barge into her room and have their way with her. If they wanted to they would have done it from day one. Penelope was a powerful queen and they were all fascinated by her (when she comes out of her room everyone turns to look at her). So yeah basically their main goal was to force her to marry one of them and they planned Telemachus's murder only when he started gaining confidence and they got worried he might take over the throne himself soon. Also most of them were around the same age group as Telemachus (about a decade or so older perhaps) which increased their worry on what if Telemachus took over.

[daryltwdixon]

If I Could Give You the Moon, I'd Give You the Moon

I'm obsessed with this angst I've created. Part II of Know It's For the Better

Based on Phoebe Bridgers' Moon Song

Daryl stumbles slightly as you guide him along the quiet streets, his arm draped heavily over your shoulders. He’s drunk—more than you’ve ever seen him—and his weight shifts unpredictably as he leans too far to one side, forcing you to readjust.

“Y’don’t gotta hold me like I’m some old man,” he slurs, his words tumbling together in a low drawl. “Still got my legs, ya know.”

“Yeah? Tell that to the pavement you almost kissed back there,” you reply, your tone light but strained as you try to keep him steady.

He barks out a laugh, loud and sudden, then mutters, “Ain’t my fault these damn streets’re crooked.”

“They’re not,” you say, rolling your eyes even though he can’t see it.

He tilts his head toward you, squinting like he’s trying to focus, and grins—a real, lopsided grin that you’re not used to seeing. It’s different from his usual smirks, less guarded, and it makes your chest tighten.

“Y’look real nice tonight,” he says, his voice softer, slower. The words hang between you, catching you off guard, but before you can say anything, he adds, “Too nice t’be draggin’ my sorry ass home.”

"Weren't you the one who offered to walk me home? Now I'm carrying your 'sorry ass'," you tease, your tone light as you try to deflect from the compliment. You’re not sure if he realizes what he just said—the slip, the way he noticed how you looked.

Or at least, the first time he's ever said anything about it.

The thought makes your heart launch into your throat.

You’ve seen Daryl in all kinds of states—angry, wounded, stone-cold sober—but this version of him, loose and unguarded, is something else entirely. His walls are gone, every word spilling out without hesitation, and you can’t help but let yourself take it in, selfishly cataloging every soft laugh, every crooked grin.

When you reach your porch, he steps back, swaying a little as his arm falls from your shoulders. His hands fumble at his sides, like he’s not sure what to do with them. Then his eyes land on yours, and for a moment, the playful grin fades.

“Don't gotta always take care’a me,” he murmurs, his voice so low you almost miss it.

You shake your head, offering a small smile you don’t really feel. “You already do the same for me."

He doesn’t argue, doesn’t speak. Just stares at you like you’ve said something he doesn’t know how to answer.

And then he steps closer.

His hands, rough and callused, come up to your face, cradling you with a fragile kind of care, like he’s holding water in his palms. Like he’s afraid that if he grips too tightly, you’ll slip through his fingers, yet if he lets go, he’ll lose you entirely. Every touch feels suspended, precarious, as if the moment itself might shatter if he doesn’t get it exactly right.

“You’re good,” he says suddenly, like it’s something he’s been holding onto for too long, his thumb brushing your cheekbone, “Too good.”

There's no doubt he can feel your heart thumping against your neck, the pounding having to be pushing up against his fingers where they brush the soft skin under your jaw.

"Know I shouldn't--know it's for the better that I stay far away from ya," he whispers, like he's talking more to himself as his eyes continue to search your face, "But I can't stop thinkin' of...thinkin' what it would be like..."

“Daryl—”

Then, his lips are on yours in an instant—desperate, reverent in the way they push against yours.

For a second, you’re frozen, your mind spinning too fast to make your body respond. You want to—God, you want to—but the shock keeps you locked in place. His lips are hot and firm against yours, moving with a kind of unpracticed urgency that steals your breath.

The kiss is so Daryl, everything you expected and somehow more. Clumsy, a little haphazard, but so earnest, so real, so alive. You’d never believed the romance novels you’d devoured about kisses that made sparks fly, but this… this proved them right all along. Electricity seemed to crackle between you, only for you to realize it was you humming, the vibrations of your approval thrumming softly through your joined mouths.

When his lips parted and his tongue tentatively brushed against yours, your body finally remembered how to move. Your hands slid up, grasping the solid muscle of his arms, and his whole frame shuddered under your touch.

And then he froze.

His breath hitched, his body stiffening as if something had just yanked him back to sobering reality. In an instant, he pulled away, his hands falling to his sides like they didn’t know what to do anymore.

His breath, warm and uneven, carried the faint scent of whiskey, brushing against your flushed face as his eyes met yours. Wide and uncertain, they searched your expression like he was trying to figure out what he’d just done.

“Shit,” he muttered, his voice rough and low. He cleared his throat, stepping back quickly, the distance between you feeling sharper than it should. “Night.”

And just like that, he was gone, leaving you standing there, lips tingling, your heart racing, and no words to fill the space he’d left behind.

The next day, you find him on the porch, sitting on the edge with his crossbow resting against his knee. He’s fidgeting with a bolt, turning it over in his hands like it’s the most interesting thing in the world.

When he hears your footsteps, he glances up briefly, his expression unreadable, before quickly looking back down. “Mornin’,” he mutters, his voice low.

“Morning,” you reply, stepping closer. You hesitate before sitting beside him, keeping some space between you.

The silence between you stretches for a moment, the sounds of birds in the distance filling the quiet. You try to think of what to say, but everything feels too uncertain. Like you're not sure if you should just say it outright or wait for him.

You should ask him.

The words hover in your throat, right there, but they refuse to come out. Did he remember the kiss? Did he remember the way his lips pressed against yours, clumsy but so full of something it made your chest ache? Did he remember what he whispered, his voice rough but so sure of his feelings when he confessed his unrelenting thoughts of you?

The memory burns in your chest, every word, every touch of his fingers and taste of his lips is seared into your mind. You need to know if it meant something—or if it was just the whiskey.

He breaks the silence first, letting out a short, almost nervous laugh. “Man, I was… somethin’ else last night, huh?”

“Do you remember much of it?” you ask softly, your heart picking up its pace.

You stare at him, searching his face for something—anything—that might tell you he’s lying. That he does remember. That those words weren’t just a drunken slip. But his expression is unreadable, his focus locked on the crossbow like it’s the only thing in the world.

Your throat feels tight, your hands curling into fists in your lap. “Daryl…” You pause, the words catching before they can escape. You want to ask him about the kiss, about what he said. But the fear of what he might say—or worse, what he won’t—roots you in place.

“If I, uh…” he starts, his voice softer now, “if I said or did somethin’ dumb… didn’t mean nothin’ by it.”

Your breath catches, and you nod quickly, forcing a brittle smile. “Right, course."

And just like that, the warmth of the sun from the morning sky feels as cold as ice, seeping into your skin and draining the last bit of life from you.

You stand abruptly, brushing your palms against your thighs to give your hands something to do. “I should get going,” you say, keeping your tone light even though your heart is still pounding.

Daryl finally looks up at you, his eyes catching yours for a brief, fleeting moment. There’s something there—uncertainty, regret, maybe even a flicker of longing—but it’s gone too quickly to be sure.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice low and rough. “See ya.”

You hesitate, your feet rooted to the porch even as your body screams at you to leave. The words are still there, trembling on the edge of your tongue—Did you mean it?—but you swallow them down, just like you always do.

Turning away, you step inside, letting the screen door close softly behind you. As soon as you’re out of sight, you press your back against the wall, closing your eyes as the memory of last night washes over you again.

His words replay in your mind, over and over, as if they’re branded into you. You clutch the hem of your shirt, willing yourself not to cry, even as the ache in your chest spreads like wildfire.

Because as much as you want to believe he meant it, his silence today feels like an answer.

And yet, you know you’d still give him anything—everything. If he asked, if he even hinted that he wanted it, you’d tear down the moon and hand it to him without a second thought.

But he doesn’t ask. And so you don’t offer.

[i9messi]

can you do an ollie bearman comfort fic?? Maybe reader is stressed and overwhelmed by uni or smth else you do whatever you want with that

Peace — Ollie Bearman

Focusing too much on your finals had made you feel anxious, so your boyfriend Ollie comes to your bedroom to help.

Word count — 1,3k

note: ollie calling baby to reader makes me feel things. feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

MASTERLIST

The smell of candles made the room smell incredibly good, but nothing was useful to calm your own destructive thoughts. You were very close to a final exam and the anxiety made you feel like the worst. You could hardly sleep well and rest as you deserved.

You had cancelled your dates with your boyfriend and your meetings with your friends. Your final was important and you were too focused on it. Who cared if you were nice, if you failed your finals?

You didn’t totally believe in fate or good vibes. Yes, you could trust that fate would be on your side and manifesting a passing grade might be important, but it was also important to study until your eyes were tired and you fell asleep with pure tiredness. As extreme as it sounds.

Your phone started ringing and that made you lose focus from the screen. You read the name on your cell phone, it was your boyfriend, Ollie. Knowing it was perhaps important, you answered the call before it rang a second time.

“Ollie? Something happened?”

“Hi, baby. I just missed hearing your voice.”

You smiled. Lately you were being a little mean with him, canceling your plans and dates with him. His voice brought a moment of peace when you needed it most. Ollie gave you peace.

“I also missed hearing your voice but I’m studying, I have a final.”

“Stress about Uni won’t do you any good, baby.”

You knew it, you also knew your boyfriend wanted the best for you.

“Ollie, I have to keep studying. Can we talk later?”

“When will I see you again? I miss you badly.”

“I don’t know. I miss you too."

“Okay. Call me if you need anything.”

When the call ended, you continued studying. Time passed, that same night you fell asleep on your desk and woke up with an incredible neck pain. Sometimes it was most useful for you to study at night, so it was barely seven pm when you locked yourself back in your room to study. Your roomie was in her room getting ready to party.

You heard the bell ring. You assumed it was a visit for your roommate. A couple of seconds later, you heard footsteps and a noise in the door. You got up and came to see who it was.

Right there was Ollie, with a teddy bear in his arms.

“Ollie, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, Ollie, I'm so happy to see you.” He joked, a little sarcastically.

“I love seeing you, really. I just didn’t know you were coming. Come on in.”

He came into your room and you realized it was a mess. The only thing that was tidy was your bed, since you had not spent the night sleeping peacefully on the mattress. Your desk was a combination of Red Bulls, empty coffee cups and snacks that was useful to you to keep you awake. The rest were books, notes and sheets of paper with the content you had to study for the exam.

“You need to take this easy.”

“I know, but you know me and you know I become a little too obsessive when I'm studying.”

He grabbed your hand and led you to bed, where he sat you on his lap.

“Listen to me, baby.”

“I listen, Ollie.”

“I know you’re a good student and you will get a good grade, but you have to remember that it’s just an exam. You are much more than a number on a piece of paper, you are more than what your professor thinks you are worth. I know how hard you work for your goals and how brave you are. So, please, at least for a few hours forget about your final and stay with me.”

“Ollie…”

“I brought you a bear.”

He offered the teddy bear to you. You grabbed it, it was brown and adorable. It wasn't the first bear your boyfriend gave you, nor would it be the last. Ollie loved to give you bears of all colors available and types, in your room you had a lot of them.

“Thank you, it's so cute. Cute like you.”

Ollie smiled and you grabbed the bear, it smelled like your boyfriend.

“Can we just lie down in your bed and cuddle?”

His brown eyes looked at you. You couldn’t say no, not when your body was so tired and you had missed him so much during those days when you barely talked.

“You don't need to ask, yes.”

And you did, you laid on bed and he hugged you from behind. You also hugged the teddy bear.

“Tell me what’s bothering you.” He muttered in your ear.

“I guess I’m just scared to forget some important information and go blank.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“What if it happens?”

“I don’t think your professor is a ruthless being who feeds on the blood of the innocent.”

You laughed.

“You should see how he gets when someone says a wrong answer, sometimes he scares me. I swear he gets more and more bold every class, all because of his poor nerves.”

“You will pass your final, silly.”

You turned, getting face to face with your boyfriend. You saw him so close and you came closer up to his mouth and left a sweet kiss on his lips. Ollie smiled in the middle of the kiss.

“We could watch an episode of Glee. I know you're watching it.”

“Uhmm, interesting proposal. I accept.”

With a smile on your face, you took your laptop and searched until you chose the episode you wanted. You put the computer in a comfortable place, where you and Ollie could see it quietly.

“Baby?”

“Yes?”

“I love you and I don’t want you to think for a second that you’re alone in this. I’ll be here whenever you need me. If you need someone to talk with, someone to watch tv shows or even someone to cuddle after studying. I'm here, always.”

You couldn’t stop yourself and kissed his lips. Ollie put a hand on your cheek.

“I love you so much.”

The episode of the show continued, you were so excited to be with your boyfriend that you forgot for a second the pressure of the exam. With Ollie by your side, caressing your hair and leaving kisses on your forehead was enough to be at peace.

“Go bathe and I’ll bring you food.” he suggested, once the episode was over.

“Are you saying I smell?”

Ollie just laughed.

“I’m not implying anything.”

“Fine, I’m gonna go take a bath.”

You went to your bathroom, while your boyfriend left the bedroom to cook something fast. The shower served to relax you, the pressure that you had on your shoulders felt much lighter. You put on your favorite pajamas and left the bathroom, where you found Ollie in the kitchen finishing up his food.

“Your roomie has already left, she said please don’t forget to water the plants.”

“Okay, alright.”

He brought the food onto the table, “I made pasta.”

“Smells incredible.”

Both ate in silence, something you liked about your boyfriend was that he respected the moments when you didn’t want to talk too much. Now that you were in a period full of exams, your mind was too busy to want to talk a lot. With the right words, you and Ollie dined in peace.

When you finished eating, Ollie stood up and put everything in place. Your eyes suddenly closed with exhaustion.

“Let’s go to sleep.”

You walked to your bedroom and you went to bed, repeating the same sequence of before. Ollie hugged you from behind and you hugged the teddy bear he gave you.

“Get some rest, you deserve it.”

“I feel like my mind is going to keep solving exercises while sleeping.”

“We can study tomorrow morning, I’ll help you.”

Knowing him, you knew he would keep his promise.

“I’m glad you’re here, Ollie. I was so stressed— I love you.”

“And I love you, baby. You're not alone in anything.”

[kissi-shayar-ki-ghazal]

Let me raise a Toast to L'amour de ma vie (The love of my life) [my bitch is obsessed with these,nowadays so yeah]

@chaosmakethemuse ~ My wifey~ My love~ My home~ My better half~

Why-? Cause why not? I just love her soo damn much...

Like it's tough seeing a 2020-2021-2022-2023-2024 version of a person and still choosing them for 2025

Bitch has seen me fall down in 2020 and have been picking me up since then..

I never knew one day, one person will become as important as breathing to me...

And I kid you not I have never felt the kind of friendship she has been giving to me since past years...

I have never seen a person pick a call at 6 in the morning just because I don't have enough courage to face things...

I have never been with a person who keep their problem aside just to listen mine (we might don't find out a solution cz it's us)...

I have never seen a person this calm with me when I try to push them away...

She promised she would stay and she has been doing that part very well regardless of how absent I am sometimes...

Bestied so hard bitch knows everything about my family tea and vice versa... we both hate my aunt and her aunt .... Even my dadi knows her name 💕🧿

[nymphea0]

Monster And His Love

Yan! Leon winston x reader

Oneshot Story (Special Side story)

(Warning : Some Death threat, Some Mature Scene in the end!)

(Minor are prohidited to read this story🚫 )

Main story of : Monster And His Love

Manhwa : Try Begging

: Adult Manhwa (19+)

Author: Libenia | 리베냐

Artist: ABYSS

Word Count ; 1000k word

So because many of you asked about Leon's story, so this is a special chapter that I made. This is shows how rough and significant your future with leons is. so use a lot of your imagination my dear, every ending is yours to determine whether it is a happy ending or not. For my one of dear, i promise to update on New years eve, but guess not, but dont worry, in New years Eve i will update some special oneshot story, my dears.. do you all like Older Chara? Like for example Nanami or like peter killer? Some older man? (^3^) anyways.. much of love- Neva🦋

Might have some bad grammars, correct me if there are any mistakes in the words in the story I wrote. Anyways i hope you all enjoys my story, much love.- Neva🦋

.

.

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Leon Winston, Who doesn't know that man? Brilliant achievements, famous among the soldiers and also the noble faction.

A handsome man who no one knows how much of a devil he is. Maybe there is only 1 person... his wife. That person is none other than you.

It has been more than 6 years that you have lived with a man, whom you call a devil, a crazy and cruel devil. 6 years you have faced hell by getting pregnant with his child. You have tried everything to escape from Leon, with the child you are carrying, but like a hunted deer, you are trapped. Can't run or even escape.

No.. this story is different from what you think, this is your story, your story in trying to tame the devil, for 6 years.. the effort was not in vain, maybe you could say.. you regret even doing that. Because Leon... is increasingly captivated.. and obsessed with you.

Fareadith Sophia Winston.. your first child with Leon, unfortunately she has Leon's hair color but with your amethyst eyes. You feel like crying every time you see her, you will remember Leon.

What surprised you .. Leon really loves Sophia, the reason is enough to make your soul tremble .. with burning intensity Leon said right in front of your face at that time.

"You ask, why do I like Sophia so much?"

Leon approached you slowly, pulling your chin, making you look directly into his eyes.

"Sophia reminds me of you my dear, she has the same eyes as you my wife .. my love, if she didn't look like you, I would definitely ... kill that child"

You really want to scream, curse and torture the man who is grinning like a devil in front of you.

.

'31 - xx - 1xxx'

At a beautiful glamorous party, attended by many rich families, a gathering of aristocrats.

One of them is, you and Leon. Even when you and Leon have changed identities in this country, Leon still insists on being a person with unlimited money.

Standing beside Leon who was busy talking to the coal entrepreneur. His right hand was holding a wine glass, while his left hand was hugging your waist affectionately. Maybe that's what people think, too bad, Leon did embrace you.. but also kept you in place so you don't wander off.

Being a good and obedient wife. Do you regret knowing Leon? Of course, you curse your father who took you to Count Winston's residence, maybe if you refused, this misfortune would not be directed at you, but at someone else, Riddle Grace for example, the girl at the summer resort that you accidentally met playing with Leon

The girl with Turquoise eyes, who Leon always called Daisy. Well, but the rice has become porridge, your fate may be more terrible than Riddle Grace.

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.

.

After the party, Leon forced you into his car, you sat quietly, very different from your husband who was busy focusing on the road.

His grip on the steering wheel was so tight, you? Sighing softly, damn, your hell will come soon. You really hoped the cooling ointment you bought at the local doctor would at least help heal the abrasions.

"How many men have you seduced tonight?!"

Leon may have his eyes on the road ahead, but his hands? His hands were tightly gripping your thighs, squeezing them with a mixture of emotion and possessiveness.

"Seducing you say? I've been standing beside you for over 2 hours Leon? How could I even seduce them when you're holding my waist tightly?!"

Damn, your story is over, you accidentally raised your voice, the car Leon was driving, made a sharp turn, and stopped right in front of the forest, a deserted area!.

"So it turns out, my love has now become a rebellious woman"

Leon got out of the car, turned around and forced open the side car door right where you were sitting.

"Look at me doll"

With his tight grip on the nape of your face with eyes filled with jealousy and arousal.

"Kneel"

You want to refuse but what can you do when you are side by side with Leon who could ask you to do more and more strange things.

You get out of the car, inevitably kneeling on the ground and grass that touches your knees.

"Open it with your own hands"

Leon looks at you kneeling right in front of him, so beautiful and erotic, how lucky he is to have a wife like you.

"Suck it faster doll, don't hit your teeth"

With a tight grip on your hair, Leon guides you to suck it and move your head back and forth, he penetrates your mouth, as if your mouth is another part that he really wants to damage and claim.

You can only pray that when you get home, Leon will at least be gentle with you.

.

.

.

Let's say you are the saddest woman in the world, your daughter Shopia has above average intelligence that makes your head dizzy, while leon? The man was just busy laughing at the report from Sophia's guard who reported that the child had deliberately burned down the inauguration building of the international bank, on the grounds that the bank's funds used corrupted people's money.

With a revolutionary spirit along with the other people, sophia burned down the bank right on the day the bank was to be inaugurated.

"See the doll? I told you, it would be better if we put it in the military academy"

.

At night, maybe it's the time when your world really becomes a hell of torture.

Lying in bed, both your hands and feet are tied to each bedpost, making you in the 'X' position.

Eyes covered with black silk cloth, in a naked position.

Yes, that's right, naked, your hell will come soon, and you are not sure whether in 1 week you will be able to walk or not.

"Sophia is already 6 years old my dear, it would be nice if we gave her a sibling, a little brother for example? Hopefully the second one will be similar to you"

You can hear the sound of Leon's shoes, and the sound of flowing water and the sound of an object being placed somewhere, you are not sure.

Until you feel Leon's tongue forcing its way into your mouth, you can feel the wine flowing in every corner of your mouth, you can even feel the wine falling in vain to both your left and right sides.

"Tonight you are very naughty, teasing men at the party, raising your voice, even, trying to argue back to me"

Leon's hands skillfully squeeze your chest, his lips that very expertly sip, and bite your neck, leaving marks on every inch of your neck, claiming as if there is no tomorrow.

"I will enjoy you so much, my love"

For Leon, no one can take you away from him, if necessary making you pregnant with his child for the second time, maybe it's not a bad idea, even if the world ends.. Leon will find any way to be able to continue to be with you, no matter how much the price is needed.

Because you are there for him, and he is there for you, His, his alone, no one else.

His mine

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.

Tag list; @snowflakes666 @nerdygoateepeanut @blurryperrtymoonlight @luminethebest @scenicelixir @n4muqr @cannyyyyy @athena-roy @sirenetheblogger @rai-xxx @thehopingfairy @ryusooze @yaoduriaa @merveeeeesworld @darkuni63

Please dont steal my work, or use without my permissions, Always be good people Dear. Much love, Neva🦋🦋.

©️Nymphea0 2024 , OG story, Project Drak Manhwa Character story.

[tubbytarchia]

I know your main is smallidarity but what are your thoughts on smalletho? Asking because I'm smalletho main but all the stuff you smallidarity fans create is so lovely that I know ship them too. Wondering what it's like for you guys. Have a nice day!

HIII I like Smalletho!! But you might not be a fan of how I regard it personally haha. To be honest I'm a little bit terrified of smalletho fans because of the specimens I have encountered and heard of so please don't burn me at stake...

I primarily view it as mostly one-sided. This makes more sense if you know of my thoughts about Joel being closeted and combative/troubled at the idea of being into men. He's been weird about Jimmy for a damn long time but he's never enacted on those feelings past jokes he proclaims not to be taken seriously. And then he's put together with this Etho guy in DL, soulbound to him, and because he's all weird he develops a crush and acts more questionably around him and more impulsively in general. And I think Etho would have picked up on it but he's. Etho. His response to everything is oh snap

Etho did do a callback during SL as if he were reminiscing, and he engaged with the "neck kisses" bit and some other less egregious ones, but Joel draws much more attention to Etho and the obsession claims. In fact the neck kisses thing started with Jimmy and yet Joel attached it entirely to Etho and comments on it either to make Etho sound weird or to make a slightly more rowdy joke than usual (Joel is plenty weird with his homoerotic jokes but this one is notably more intimate in a physical sense, as opposed to emotional. Not even the babymaking in ESMP2 compares because he acted like a clown who's never heard of sex before for those). Hmm strange behavior to have chosen to do that... I think Joel's become less insane and mostly gotten over his crush but clearly still likes Etho and Etho likes him too, but in a less weird way. His regard for their relationship to me is so well exemplified by the interaction where Jimmy went "Joel called me babe earlier" to try and prod him and Etho gives the most nonchalant "oh snap" known to man in response. He loves a little tomfoolery though so he entertains the banter

Joel just imo acts so weird about him half the time and then completely deadpan the rest of the time, compared to Jimmy who he has also been really weird about but also grown more comfortable with (but only very slightly because he is a loser) in regards to his feelings. I just think contrasting them brings out my reasoning better haha. I like smalletho as a ship in general and I really like their dynamic, but Etho in more of a mentor role (not that he's teaching much of anything but the experience Joel had with him has probably helped Joel become less homophobic about himself). It's similar to what I also really like about Bdubs and Joel, where I'm not sure I really see it as a romantic dynamic but they're definitely not normal about each other by any stretch of the imagination

[starstruckbyacomet]

A Feedback to ABC

🎄All I W❄️nt for Christm⭐️s Is L❤️U☃️

Below is a copy of my feedback to ABC. I wrote the feedback on a Microsoft Word document, because it was too long to be written on the description column of ABC's feedback page.

I'm not suggesting people to read the whole thing (it is a long-ass letter). However, there are some points in it which I think worthy to be mentioned, if anyone still want to write feedback to ABC:

1)) Criticism on the writing of Season 7 and Season 8. I made a list of '13 reasons why' 🙄 I thought the writing of Season 8 was crappy, and actually called it 'crappy' on my feedback. The list included everything which has bothered me, except 2 things: Ortiz and Eddie storylines. There is a possibility that Ortiz would come back as a stronger villain in the future, and Eddie's issue with Shannon might be resolved in Season 8B. Thus, I withheld my judgment. It's important to tell ABC how bad the writing was, because you wouldn't guess it from all the positive publications and adulation about the show out there. The higher ups on ABC might also not be aware about it.

2)) Mentioning that fans have noticed the three-baitings: the thrill-baiting, the Buddie-baiting, and the Tevan-baiting. Even if the show or ABC didn't mean to bait anyone (which honestly I doubt 🙄), at least ABC would be aware of the distrust and negative perceptions on the show, and hopefully would take actions to counter them.

3)) Reasons why we don't want to see Buck with any love interests other than Tommy.

4)) Suggestions of possible storylines for Tommy. Initially I was hesitant to write this part. I thought, these professional writers surely didn't need suggestions from someone like me. But then I remembered how they'd botched Season 8A (*shudder*), and I was afraid that they wouldn't bring Tommy back, because they didn't know what to do with him. So, fuck it! Someone, anyone, got to tell them. And if that someone had to be me, so be it.

5)) There was no mention of the online harrassment. In my criticism about Buddie-baiting, I called the Buddie fans "obsessed", instead of "toxic" or "hostile". I want my feedback to be read pass the social media team. Mentioning the online harrassment might make the social media team tossed my letter to the garbage bin, because they didn't want to be blamed on their passivity.

I'm sorry that I couldn't participate in financial donation this year. I've been out of job for quite a while, because I was bullied on my previous workplace. This is also the reason why I've been so adamant against online bullying. I hope however small what I do for this movement, it still helps somehow.

🎄..☃️..✨️..❄️..🎄..⛄️..✨️..❄️..🎄..☃️..✨️..❄️..🎄

Dear ABC,

I've been watching 9-1-1 show for years, and have been involved in its fandom for quite a while. There are growing concerns among the fandom about the show, which is the reason why I'm writing this letter:

A. THE WRITING

The writing of Season 7 was not good. Shannon's doppelganger storyline was hard to believe, and Amir storyline was rushed. Buck was the only character who got a decent story with his new relationship with Tommy. However, most of us were willing to look past those shortcomings because it was a shortened season, with only 10 episodes instead of the usual 18 episodes.

We'd expected Season 8 will be better, alas, it's been worse:

Gerard was retconned to be a bumbling old relic. It's hard to believe that he was the same menace who had ruled the 118 firehouse with iron fists in the Begins episodes of Season 2.

In episode 8x05 "Masks", Hen and Karen had a disagreement about Hen's working schedule. Why did this issue come up now, after their 7+ years of marriage? Hen never changed her job during their marriage. Karen has even been very supportive when Hen was enrolled in a medical school, while also working as a firefighter from Season 4 to Season 6. At that time, she was notably busier than she is in this season.

In episode 101 "Pilot" Abby mentioned that Tommy was her ex-boyfriend. Why did in episode 806 "Confessions" Tommy say he was Abby's ex-fiancé?

In episode 8x06 "Confessions" Maddie told Chimney, her husband, that she was pregnant. After her unexpected pregnancy back in Season 3, we expected the couple would be more careful with birth controls. Apparently they didn't. It is a running joke within fandom that birth controls don't exist in 9-1-1 universe. Also, why didn't Maddie have a discussion with her husband before she got pregnant? A pregnancy should be a couple's decision, not forced by half of the pair to the other half.

In episode 806 "Confessions", Tommy gave Buck two Lakers tickets as anniversary gift. It is implied that Tommy didn't know that Buck did not like basketball. We're not sure what the show wanted to tell with this scene. If it meant to imply that Tommy was not a good boyfriend because he didn't know that fact, it achieved the opposite effect. Buck was the one who had given the impression to Tommy that he liked basketball on episode 804 "Buck, Bothered, and Bewildered". Thus, if Tommy still didn't know that Buck disliked the sport after 6 months into their relationship, it was Buck's fault for not coming clean to Tommy.

Buck was flustered when talking with a woman on his anniversary date with Tommy in episode 806 "Confessions". Buck is 33 years old, not twelve. He's been dating a lot of people before. Buck should have known better than showing his attraction to other people while being on a date.

Still in episode 806 "Confessions", Buck asked whether Tommy was attracted to women. At the time, they've been dating for 6 months. Previously, in episode 705 "You Don't Know Me", Buck told Eddie that Tommy was gay. If Buck had known that his boyfriend was gay, why did he ask Tommy whether Tommy was attracted to women? Buck might be not the brightest bulb in the box, but we didn't think he was so stupid or ignorant that he couldn't differentiate between being gay and being bisexual.

Again, in episode 806 "Confessions" Tommy broke up with Buck because he was afraid to go further in their relationship. Tommy that we knew was mindful to other people's feelings. In episode 704 "Buck, Bothered, and Bewildered" Tommy visited Buck to clear the air after he'd sensed that he might have inadvertently created a wedge between Buck and Eddie. This mindful Tommy wouldn't date Buck in the first place, if he knew that he couldn't go to the next phase.

After Tommy broke up with Buck, Buck didn't seem to fight for their relationship. In episode 405 "Buck Begins" Athena said that being Buck meant never give up. In the past, we have seen Buck fought for things which mattered to him. He sued LAFD to get his job back. He broke the law to save Maddie when she was in danger. However, after Tommy broke up with him, Buck didn't even try to communicate with Tommy like an adult. Instead, he was... baking? This is not the Buck we have known.

In episode 807 "Hotshots" and episode 808 "Wannabes" Buck didn't even look sad when he was not baking. He did look anxious when Tommy was mentioned, but other than that, he acted normal. Tim Minear mentioned in interviews that Tommy was important for Buck, but we didn't see it on screen. Fans have been mourning the relationship harder than on-screen Buck.

After the break up, why didn't any of Buck's closest people encourage him to clear things up with Tommy? In episode 709 "Ashes, Ashes" Bobby told Buck that Tommy was good for him, and Chimney has asked Tommy to fly into a hurricane, practically made Tommy risked his own life for the 118 team. However, after Tommy broke up with Buck, none of them told either Buck or Tommy to talk with each other and clear things up.

In episode 807 "Hotshots", Chimney encouraged Buck to "jump back in the pond", and Buck answered with "I don't know which pond to jump back into." The conversation seemed like a subtext that bisexual Buck now could sleep with both men and women. As a bisexual person, I am very offended by this scene. Like other people, bisexual people cannot control to whom we fall in love to, regardless of the gender. The implication of the scene is that bi people are 'easy' or 'loose' and used to pick partners to sleep without giving much thoughts on it. It is a common prejudice which we've been fighting against for a very long time. Watching it implied on the scene is insulting, to say the least.

The prolonged screen time of Brad Torrence. Initially fans didn't hate Brad. However, we couldn't help but notice that a big portion of Season 8A was spent on Brad, while other main characters we actually cared about were put aside. Now, Brad Torrence becomes a bitter joke among fans. Most of us couldn't stand him any longer. On top of that, the scene of Brad saved a suicidal Hotshots fan in episode 806 "Wannabes" felt like an undeserved pat-on-the-back to the show, considering the crappy stories the show has been giving us since Season 7.

B. THE BAITING

B.1. THE THRILL-BAITING

Fans have noticed that 9-1-1 has been seemingly baiting new viewers to watch the show, but didn't give them what they were looking for. One example is the big disaster emergency stories at the beginnings of Season 6 and Season 7. There was no other big emergencies during the rest of the seasons and audience knew that. Long term fans like me were delighted by those stories, and ratings indicated that the big emergencies have attracted additional viewers. However, surely you've noticed that ratings were back to normal right after the big emergency stories had ended. The drops were not even gradual. It's because new viewers knew that the thrill ended after the 3rd episode of the season. And with such crappy storylines which I have explained in Part A, new viewers hardly wanted to stay.

B.2. THE BUDDIE-BAITING

Another baiting that we've noticed is the Buddie-baiting. There are fans who want to see Buck and Eddie (a.k.a. "Buddie") in a romantic relationship on screen. These fans are not subtle about what they want. Tim Minear, Kristen Reidel, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Oliver Stark, and Ryan Guzman have acknowledged the existence of the fans in various occasions. The Buddie fans have been voicing their demand since Season 2. Unlike normal fans they are very obsessed about the pairing they root for. Other 9-1-1 fans like me, who don't root for Buddie, have concerns regarding how the show has been portraying Buck and Eddie's interactions on screen. In our opinion, if the show didn't want to pair Buck with Eddie romantically, then it should stop giving nods or hints about them as if they were a couple or a couple to-be. Those nods or hints only give false expectations to the Buddie fans. For examples:

1)) In episode 7x06 "There Goes the Groom", there was a Buck & Eddie drunk karaoke scene. The scene should include Henren and Ravi, or at least Ravi in the scene, to avoid misinterpretation by Buddie fans.

2)) In episode 8x06 "Confessions", Eddie talked about beards, right after he mentioned that he was straight. Buddie fans has interpreted this scene as a clue that Eddie was hiding his sexuality. Here's the actual conversation on screen:

Father Brian: "And you, you have that... very handsome mustache." Eddie (chuckling): "Do you wanna know why I grew this?" Father Brian: "Tell me." Eddie: "Because the LAFD doesn't allow beards. Too flammable. Otherwise, I'd have gone full mountain man." Father Brian: "So, it's a disguise?" Eddie (averting his gaze): "Something like that." Father Brian: "What're you afraid of seeing when you're looking in the mirror?"

The conversation could be done without mentioning beards at all. For example:

Father Brian: "And you, you have that... very handsome mustache." Eddie (chuckling): "I'm glad someone likes it." Father Brian: "Nobody else likes it?" Eddie: "Well, sometimes my friends tease me about it. But I think they're just not used to see me with a mustache." Father Brian: "So, it's new? Is it a trend that I didn't know about?" Eddie (chuckling): "No, not a trend. I just want to see something different when I look in the mirror." Father Brian: "So, it's a disguise?" Eddie (averting his gaze): "Something like that." Father Brian: "What're you afraid of seeing when you're looking in the mirror?"

If a non-writer like me could come up with an alternative conversation with the same ending without talking about beards, so could the writers. Even if the conversation became longer, the show could cut some time off of Eddie's dancing scene at the end of the episode. Inserting beards in the conversation feels like baiting Buddie fans without actually giving them what they want.

3)) In episode 8x06 "Confessions", a pantless Eddie opened his door to Buck after Buck was dumped by Tommy, and proceeded to let Buck sat next to him. Eddie was pantless because he had been doing the Risky Business Dance. There are other iconic dances which Eddie could do without losing his pants, like Michael Jackson's Moonwalk, the Footloose Dance, John Travolta's Staying Alive Dance, etc. This sexual innuendo only gives a false message to Buddie fans.

There is a growing concern that the show has been baiting Buddie fans to keep watching without actually making Buck and Eddie a couple. This feels deceitful, exploitative, and manipulative. Fans don't need 'nods' or 'hints' or 'subtexts'. A few decades ago, when homosexuality was a taboo, giving nods and subtexts about the subject on TV shows seemed brave. It doesn't work that way in this modern era, when marriage equality has been a law for quite a while. On the contrary, it feels deceitful and cowardly. As if the show was afraid to upset its queer-averse audience, but also wanted its queer-leaning audience to keep watching.

B.3. THE TEVAN-BAITING

After 9-1-1 re-introduced Tommy back in Season 7, a lot of fans were captivated by this character and his love story with Buck. We dubbed the couple as 'Bucktommy' or 'Tevan'. In the fandom, a lot people have shared how they could relate to Tommy. I'm one of them. Like Tommy, I came out later in life, although only to selected people in my life. Like Tommy, I also have done less than honorable things to cover my sexuality, which I still regret even now. A lot of fans, including me, also relate to Tommy's longing for a family who could fully accept him. That's why we were rooting for his relationship with Buck.

We were shocked and heartbroken when the couple broke up in episode 806 "Confessions". To add salt in our wound, everyone involved acted out-of-characters like I mentioned in Part A. It makes the break up felt like a rushed afterthought, instead of a well-prepared storyline. It's very contrast with how the story of Brad Torrence and Hotshots were told. Furthermore, Tommy had been portrayed as a loving boyfriend to Buck in the previous episode (ep. 805 "Masks"). We felt that the show has played with our feelings, and for what? To make us cried our hearts out on the internet and gave the show hypes and online engagements for free? Once again, it feels like the show has deceitfully baited us. Looking back at how it has seemingly baited thrill-seekers viewers with emergency scenes only at the season openings, and how it gave 'nods' to Buddie pairing without ever make it happened, the thought doesn't seem outside the realm of possibility.

A lot of fans have noticed a trend of ship-baiting in TV shows. Unlike queer-baiting, these TV shows have included openly queer characters from the start, so people don't accuse them of queer-baiting. However, there's usually only one queer couple who has a long-term relationship which lasts until the end of the show. Other queer characters either end up single or appear single (e.g. Guilermo de la Cruz of What We Do in the Shadows), have elusive romantic partners who appear very rarely on screen (e.g. Paul Strickland of 9-1-1: Lone Star), or have a string of failed romantic relationships until the shows ended (e.g. Travis Montgomery of Station 19). The story of Travis Montgomery of Station 19 is very telling. He was the only main character who didn't get a 'soulmate' at the end of the show. He was dragged from one failed relationship to another during the whole 7 seasons. This was a notably different treatment compared to other main characters in the show. It has made fans wondered whether the fact that Travis was gay had something to do with it. There had been one queer couple, Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca (a.k.a. "Marina") who was prominently on display and got a happy ending in Station 19. Why didn't Travis get a lasting relationship like other main characters, instead of being paired with a brand new partner in the end? As if there was a diversity quota, where only one queer couple per TV show was allowed to be prominently on display and got a happy ending.

C. WHAT NEXT FOR BUCK

Reflecting from what happened with Travis Montgomery of Station 19, some fans have predicted that 9-1-1 planned to drag Buck to a string of failed relationships before pairing him with a woman at the end of the show. There's also a speculation that Buck would be paired with Tommy or even Eddie right before the show ended, because by then the show would not have to portray his queer relationship on screen further. Until then, the audience might have to watch Buck jumps from relationship to relationship again.

There are several issues with this scenario:

1)) Buck has gone through FIVE failed relationships since the beginning of the show (with Abby, Ali, Taylor, Natalia, and Tommy). It would be NINE if we include hook-ups and kisses (the unnamed firetruck hookup, the snake-keeping lady, his ex-therapist, and Lucy Donato). Giving Buck another failed relationship is beyond repetitive. It screams "we run out of ideas what to do with this character." A lot of us simply don't want to watch that repetition.

2)) It would be hard for any other partners to measure up to Tommy. Tommy shared a unique connection with Buck: Buck was Tommy's replacement in 118 firehouse and they shared a same ex, Abby. Tommy also had a good relationship with Bobby, Chimney, Hen, and Eddie, and has been portrayed as a good boyfriend for Buck. If an ideal partner like Tommy was thrown out of the window, why should we care about Buck's next love interest(s)?

3)) Tommy's unique connection with Buck and how Tommy has been portrayed on the show have given a lot of potential stories for Buck and Tommy together. For examples:

Tommy has done terrible things in the past, probably while he was in the military. This would give Buck a dilemma: would he leave Tommy, or would he love and trust someone with a checkered past although that person has repented.

Tommy could have a trauma or PTSD from his time in the military, probably related to DADT. This would give Buck a new role as a caregiver to who tried to help his partner struggles with a serious issue. It would be more serious than accompanying Taylor Kelly to meet her estranged father.

Tommy might apologize to Abby. Not only Buck and Abby deserve a closure, Tommy and Abby do too. Buck might even facilitate this.

Those examples have never been shown before. Any of them would feel fresh and better than having Buck goes through several romantic relationships again.

4)) As I mentioned before, a lot of us feel that the show has been baiting us, the queer-leaning viewers, to watch the show without giving us the queer relationship that we want. Our experiences with TV shows like Supernatural, Station 19, and the latest one, What We Do in the Shadows, have taught us to recognize the baiting signs. A lot of us refuse to be exploited again. Several fans have quit watching the show after episode 806 "Confessions", others were waiting until the half season hiatus to see whether Tommy was coming back or not, before quit watching it for good. We plan to watch the show again only if Tommy and Buck get back together.

This is not the first time I was disappointed by a TV show. Several years ago, I quit watching Grey's Anatomy because it messed up Jackson and April (a.k.a. "Japril")'s relationship with a love triangle story for too long. Although disappointed, at the time I didn't care enough to express my concern to ABC. I simply quit watching the show, because it didn't give me joy anymore. However, I care more about Tommy and his relationship with Buck, hence this letter. I hope the show will bring Tommy back and restore his relationship with Buck once more in Season 8B. I know a lot of fans have a similar hope.

#All I Want for Christmas Is Lou

Best regards,

[My name]

[callme-holly]

Hiiii, could you do the Outsiders x reader who's obsessed with cats? Like, she's always petting random stray cats she sees and is begging to take them home. And I love your writing! 😊😊

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐜𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐚/𝐧: I'm getting back into the flow now, y'all. Please keep sending in requests!

Darry Curtis:

Darry doesn’t mind cats; he’s never really had a strong opinion on them; they’re just sort of existing, you know? It isn’t until he meets you that he starts paying more attention to them. He’ll stop and watch you fondly as he pets random cats in the street, and he won't complain when you bring them over to say hello to them. He isn’t against having a cat, but he isn’t sure he can handle having one in the house with their current financial situation, so he’s pretty firm when it comes to you bringing strays back home. “No way. We can’t afford it right now.”  Maybe one day, when money isn’t so tight, he might relent and get you a cat, but don’t hold him to it. 

Sodapop Curtis:

Soda fully supports your love for cats and will stop with you on the street to greet every single stray. He’s the type to pick up little kittens and hand them to you, just to see you smile. He’s always up for trying to convince Darry to let you keep one and will occasionally sneak one in to surprise you, hiding it away from Darry and feeding it scraps from dinner. If you were to get a cat, he’d probably choose a stupid name for it and insist on carrying it around like a baby. 

Ponyboy Curtis:

Pony understands your fondness for cats; they’re quiet, independent, and make pretty good company. He often stops with you, watching as you pet the strays, and might occasionally get down to fuss over one himself, scratching their chin and ears. Sometimes, he’ll sit in the lot with you, sketching the cats and gifting the drawings to you. If you beg him to take one home, he’ll be pretty reluctant, not wanting to face Darry with the question. So instead, he compromises, telling you that you can go out and feed them, and that they can stay in the backyard in the shed. 

Johnny Cade:

Much like you, Johnny is naturally drawn to the strays, mostly from how much he hangs around the lot. He’s probably befriended his fair share of cats from all the nights he’s spent there and has no trouble going to visit them with you. He’ll gladly feed them and fuss over them, letting them rub around him and paw at his jeans. He loves how gentle you are with animals and admires how much you love them. He starts bringing treats in his back pocket for them, just in case you find a new cat to befriend.  If there’s a cat you’re particularly drawn to, he’ll help you make a little shelter for it and will go with you to feed it every day. 

Dallas Winston: Dally isn’t particularly fond of cats and would much rather ignore them than fuss over them. He’ll constantly tease you for fawning over the strays, but secretly he probably thinks it’s a little sweet. He’ll act too cool to care, but the more he hangs around with you (and the cats), the more he finds himself absentmindedly tossing them scraps of food. He might even surprise you by bringing you a tiny, scruffy kitten he’d rescued from a rough situation, tossing it into your lap like it’s no big deal. He refuses to take care of it though; the feeding and other shit is all down to you, and no way in hell is it allowed to sit in his lap.

Steve Randle:

Steve thinks your obsession with cats is amusing and never fails to make little jabs and jokes about it, calling you the “cat whisperer.” But, deep down, he loves the strays just as much as you and will do as much as he can to keep them safe. If you beg him to take one home, he’ll relent after a while, creating a little bed/crate for it that stays in the garage of the DX. The cat soon becomes one of those pets that hangs around constantly, sitting on top of the cars he’s working on and lounging on the backseat of his car whenever he leaves the door open.

Two-Bit Mathews:

Two totally understands your love for the cats. If the two of you are out together, he’s showing you all the cats and befriending them right alongside you. He’ll crouch down and call out to the strays, petting them and scratching under their chin. He’s probably the first to suggest sneaking a cat home, wrapping it up in his jacket, and carrying it along like a little baby. If a cat likes him more than you, he will rub it in and make your life hell over it. 

[dannyz0ur]

Tim Wright [MH] — NSFW Alphabet

god did i have fun writing this 😈 and i hope you have fun reading it!!

*all these headcanons are assuming s/o and Tim are already in a relationship, I don’t see him as one to have fuck buddies or one-night-stands.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) It’s a different story between Tim and Masky. One will check up on you, ask how it was and how you feel, if you need anything, and will clean you up if you just wanna cuddle/sleep after. And then the other one is less attentive. At most he’ll lazily clean you up if you insist and bring you water if you really need it and he’s not feeling lazy enough not to do so. And he just won’t stay around longer than necessary, in his mindset he’s got “better shit to do.”

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) I feel like Tim’s and Masky’s favorite body part of themselves is their arms. ‘Cause they’re strong, useful, and Masky loves to easily pin you down while Tim loves holding you.

Now their favorite body part of yours would be your ass and thighs. Idk he strikes me as a thigh man. And ass. Ass and thigh. Masky doesn’t really mind that stuff as long as he’s got a hole to put it in (sorry but he’s just not romantic like that).

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Breeding kink, anyone? Tim would have one. Thinking about knocking you up and making a pretty little family really does it for him. Yk gives him hope that he can have a normal life for a little bit. Even if you can’t get pregnant, he likes to entertain that idea in his head while he’s balls-deep in you. So that means he will cum inside as long as you let him. Oh also he cums a lot, and it’s more thick than watery (bro doesn’t have a balanced diet cmon y’all, with all those blackouts and stuff? yeah I think not).

Masky likes cumming on your face, with your tongue out. Feels like he’s marking you. But also humiliating you. So he gets a little kick out of it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Tim doesn’t need Masky to front to be stealing your underwear, lemme tell you that. If he could, before you were dating, he was already making a collection of used underwear of yours. Yes he sniffed them while jerking off and yes he sniffed them to sleep sometimes.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) I’d say you’re not his first but, again, he doesn’t strike me as the kind to have fuckbudies or one-night-stands. Ig he knows what he’s doing and he’s a good learner when it comes to what you like, but he’s not like a fuckboy or anything-

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Doggy, leap frog (yk basics from behind, he loves your ass remember?), if Tim’s tired then he’ll let you ride him. Now Masky likes it from behind too but more forceful, he’ll like- make the bed creak and won’t stop til he’s either done or you’re begging him to stop. He might not even stop if you blackout on him, who knows.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Tim’s rarely goofy at all so no. He’s got more of a romantic, focused attitude when it comes to intimacy with you. And Masky just doesn’t talk at all unless it’s to give you a command or degrade you. He fucks you like he hates you. He doesn’t though, he’s more… obsessed with you? Tim’s there cause he’s in love, Masky lets him bc he’s obsessed. Makes sense?

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) we all know our man is hairyyyy and if you don’t mind he doesn’t trim regularly, he can’t bother to do so with so much stuff in his mind. If you do mention it he’ll try to keep it trimmed for you. Don’t expect him to shave entirely (at least not often).

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Ok so. You had to work it out with Tim before he could be comfortable being intimate with you. He’s got trust issues so it took a while before he actually felt comfortable being intimate and vulnerable. Not a bunch of “I love you”s and cuddles the first few times, that happened after a while. Now Masky just… can’t be intimate for the life of him. Ask him to be a little more intimate and he’ll laugh at your face (chuckle, we know he doesn’t laugh a lot).

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Before you? Rarely, like twice or thrice a week maybe. After you? Yk, before dating you but when he was stalking getting to know you? A lot. When he’s with you he prefers to take it out on you, so rarely once more.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) well well well… this is a long one if I elaborate, so lemme just list them…

previously mentioned breeding kink, breathplay, dacryphilia, somnophilia, sadism, corruption, degradation. These are both Tim’s and Masky’s so uh have fun.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Tim prefers privacy, so your/his bed, the shower, etc. Masky doesn’t give a fuck, he’ll have you whenever he wants you. He finds the car the most common place to fuck you in, though. If you’re out doing something or he just came home frustrated and you go out to greet him, he’ll just drag you to the backseat and fuck the daylights out of you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) For Tim it’s if you’re doing anything domestic. Doing dishes, cooking, cleaning, fixing/cleaning the car? He’s gonna reward you real well later. For Masky it’s whenever he’s pent up or frustrated, he’ll take it out on you by fucking you because he knows he can’t afford to hurt you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Tim hates the idea of actually hurting you. Yk knife play or slapping you. Most he’ll do is spank you and even then he’ll ask if he was too rough and apologize. In contrast, Masky has no restraint. He will do whatever he wants to you, whenever he wants, and you know better than to disobey…

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Oh, Tim gives you head like he’s starving. Not like… not messy and eager like Toby would (Toby alphabet also in production) but he’s relentless, gives you good head and won’t stop until you’re overstimulated. Masky hardly ever uses his mouth on you. Only to tease you to the point of tears and then fuck you into oblivion. And he lovessss to force his thick cock down your throat and gag on it- (sorry)

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) I’m not original at all with this but idc. Tim’s slow and sensual, maybe he’ll go hard and slow as he gets closer to cumming. Masky just… he doesn’t think about that. If he wants to go agonizingly slow he will, and if he wants to rearrange your guts until your hole bleeds then he will.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Tim isn’t a fan. Masky usually fucks you so rough it feels like a quickie.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) As long as you talk it through and already built that trust with Tim, he’s probably open to try things with you. Masky will not ask you if you want to try anything, if he wants to he will. If you propose things to him he’ll laugh at your face (again.)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) Tim can last up to 2 rounds if the first one wasn’t physically demanding, Masky just needs to cum so as long as he does that he doesn’t really need another round. Unless he’s in a mood and wants to torture you. He’ll drag it out no matter how many times he cums.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) I feel like none of them do. If you do have toys none of them would be interested in trying them, but if you want to implement them, Tim would be totally fine with that, just talk it through. Masky would spiral and ask if he’s just not enough or something, so maybe don’t try with him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Tim doesn’t tease you further than verbally, doesn’t see the need. Masky’s whole deal is teasing you and making you cry for him, so he’s very unfair I’d say.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Loud enough for only you to hear. Grunts and deep, low moans. Masky does not make sound, actually. Somehow he manages to keep it together while making you cry and scream his name.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) If you catch him off-guard you have a chance to hear Tim whimper, but it’s a rare chance. Like, riding him and you kiss a hickey on a specially sensitive part of his neck, and you’ll probably get him to whimper.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) ok so as previously stated, hairy, all over. Strong arms and overall chubby yum yum 🤤 now about his size I’d say average, about 6.5-7 inches and thickkk you’ll feel that dick all the way inside you every timeeee

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Tim’s is not that high, I’d say average. He’s usually busy and tired, most he’ll do is lazy, cuddly sex if you two really need it. Masky’s a little higher but because that’s his coping mechanism for when he’s frustrated.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Tim falls asleep after making sure you don’t need anything else, he falls asleep easily cause he’s with you and you tired him out hehe. Masky doesn’t even stay in bed after he’s done with you. He’ll go out either for a smoke or to do anything else.

hope you stuck around and liked it as much as i liked writing it 🤤 remember reqs are open! here's the list of characters i'll write for!

[evodi]

Trowing this at yall to show im alive

Anyways heres my Death Angel Oc (tmc inspired own Series) whos still unamed after uh idk.. What was it? Ah yea 3 months now?

Soo uh looking for suggestions for names.