#I might colour this when I get home though I’m worried I’ll spoil it

[bagadew]

On holiday playing Dragon Quest Builders 2

Don’t ever talk to me or my heretic children again.

[sukirichi]

pink hearts

You only ever wanted a job as a babysitter to make ends meet – falling in love was out of the equation – but with the magic presented right in front of you, you weren’t going to push it away.

PAIRINGS. itadori jin x reader

WC. 10.7k+

NOTES. this fic is purely self indulgent, not requested, i wrote this for me so reader is mostly...well, me. okay listen I KNOW toji is the choice dilf but PLEASE daddy jin has my heart and i’m so soft for him like you guys don’t understand. this is my comfort fic now and jin’s made his way on my comfort character list, give this amazing man a chance, he’s amazing and so kind eeeee my heart is going to burst i love him so much lol + oh this is unedited as usual

masterlist !

The pink-haired man sat across from you, setting down the tray of two coffee mugs on the coffee table before you. He was of regular build, mostly on the lanky side, and his kind eyes peered behind glasses as he smiled at you. “So you’re the babysitter Mr. Gojo recommended?”

You stared at him. Shamelessly. 

Suddenly, your initial plan of impressing your employer by wearing a tight pencil skirt and an old white blouse after the assumption that they would be prissy and had way too much money on their hands felt useless. 

This guy wore a cream sweatshirt and black slacks, clearly happy and comfortable in his own home.

Upon being the subject of your stare, he only smiled awkwardly, clasping his hands in front of himself as he cleared his throat to let you speak.

“Oh!” you suddenly sat up straight, “Yes, yes I am. I’m sorry for staring. I just think you’d be this...young.” And modest.

“I understand. You’re in university, correct?” you nodded, leaning back in his seat, hand scratching the back of his head. His cheeks tinged a slight pink. “And you’re a close friend of Satoru’s, well...It’s not that I don’t trust his judgment or anything, but it’s my first time being a parent – and I’m a single dad, at that – so I hope you don’t mind that I’d like to see how you get along with my son first before I hire you.”

“Oh yeah, no, that’s perfectly fine!”

Satisfied with your answer, Mr. Itadori stood up with a bow, silently gesturing you to follow him down his hall. “Is there anything you’re uncomfortable with, or anything you don’t know much about? Changing diapers, giving the teething products, anything?”

“I’m the eldest in the family, four more hellish sun drops following afterwards. I think I’m good.”

He nodded at your answer, a small smile on his face. “That’s good to know. My last babysitter was the same age as you, but he didn’t know much about handling babies. I mean, neither do I, but a man’s got to learn, you know?” he laughed at himself, unaware that with each passing second, pink heart eyes gazed up at him admirably.

When you both reached a door that was left slighty open, Mr. Itadori lit up, bending down in front of a crib where his baby laid, small hands clutching at his feet. “Yuuji, baby, Daddy’s here. Are you ready to meet your babysitter?”

Your jaw dropped when he finally picked his baby up, the little boy clad in a tiger onesie and sucking on a toy. “Oh my gosh, you’re so adorable, come here!” you were more than glad when his dad laughed and gently passed the baby to you, who only gurgled in laughter when you cooed at him. “Oh, I want to spoil you and give you kisses, how are you this cute?” Well, it made sense he was cute, since his dad was as well. Yuuji made grabby hands at you, to which you happily obliged, leaning down so his tiny fingers could pinck your cheeks.

Unable to help it, you rubbed your cheeks on his touch, making the little boy clap his feet together, eyes bright with all the happiness and innocence in this world. You honestly wanted to cry right then and there.

“Your hands are soooo tiny, my goodness, I love you already! It’s so nice to meet you, Yuuji, you’re such an angel!”

“You like kids, huh?”

“Well, not so much with kids because toddlers have too much energy, but babies,” you gasped once you heard Mr. Itadori’s muffled laughter, greeted by the sight of him hiding his mouth behind his palm. Instantly, you smiled at him nervously, clutching the baby closer to yourself because he was so darn cute.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry if I’m being weird right now, I can’t help it! Your son is so precious!”

“Thank you. He’s the greatest blessing of my life too,” he beamed, turning to his baby with that soft look in his eyes that parents wore so well. “Well, it seems Yuuji really likes you. He’s friendly to everyone but...I’m surprised he’s warmed up to you this fast,” Mr. Itadori bent over to poke his cheek, the baby’s tiny hand wrapping around his dad’s finger. “Yuuji~ don’t forget I’m still your dad, okay? She’s the babysitter – she’s not your mom so don’t be too clingy, alright?”

You stiffened at his words, your eyes flickering back and forth between the baby and him. They had the same eye and hair colour, along with that aura of kindness surrounding them...it was hard to imagine what the mother would be like. Was she as bright and adorable too?

If yes, then this was an entire family of pink hearted strawberries!

“If...if it’s not too much to ask, may I ask where his mom is?”

Much to your surprise, his eyes grew forlorn, though the smile remained on his face. “His mom...is in a much happier place now,” was all he said – and it was enough – that you couldn’t dare ask more.

Mr. Itadori walked out of Yuuji’s room and into the kitchen afterwards, eyes squinting over the neat handwriting on a sticky note on his refrigerator. “Okay, so, I don’t know if Satoru’s told you, but I’m an engineer. I usually just work from home, especially now that I’ve got a baby, but there are still days where I have to go the office for presentations and meetings. I can’t guarantee that the babysitting schedule will be permanent – is it alright if I call you whenever?”

“Yeah, yeah, I mean, other than university, I don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

“That’s good to hear! But wouldn’t this job get in the way of your studies?”

You shook your head, subconsciously pressing closer to the baby instead because he was just so warm and wouldn’t stop tugging at your collar. A part of you was also eager to get this job not only for the baby, but Mr. Itadori intrigued you as well. You knew it was wrong but you had to be honest with yourself, hiding this truth for him instead through a shaky smile.

“No, definitely not! I can just take my studies here – if you won’t mind, of course – and I promise I won’t litter or make a mess or anything. During babysitting hours, Yuuji will be more of a priority than my homework, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

Mr. Itadori hummed to himself, rubbing at his chin. “If that’s the case, then I suppose you’re free to use the study at the end of the hall. There’s a baby camera there that lets you see Yuuji in every room, but if he’s asleep, feel free to use it.”

“Oh wow,” you blinked back in surprise, gently rocking a gurgling Yuuji back and forth. “You didn’t have to do that so uhm, thank you, really, I promise I’ll take care of your son very well!”

“I can see why Satoru recommended you now,” he shook his head with a smile, moving over to the litter of dinosaur stickers onto another list. “Here is a list of the things Yuuji likes and doesn’t like. He’s mostly active in the afternoons when I’ll most likely get called for work, and he’s a mess by then. He really likes playing and cuddles, and he’ll also demand to be carried most of the time otherwise he’ll cry,” he paused as his eyes slid over to you, lips pursed in thought. “I know you’ll do great but...don’t spoil my son too much, okay? I just don’t want him to uh...think that you’re his parent or something. Yuuji gets easily attached like that. If he calls you ‘mama’...please tell me about it, okay?”

“Yes, of course. I know my place, don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way,” he raised in hands in surrender as he saw your eyes widen with fear. “Being a single parent is just hard, you know? I can’t help but always feel that maybe I won’t be enough for him, and as much as I can, I’d like to let my son he can rely on me at all times.”

“I think you’re a very great father,” you admitted rather shyly, “Your son is really lucky to have you as his parent. I can tell he’s going to be such a sweetheart.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me,” he placed a hand over his heart, then pulled out a business card from the back of his pocket. “Now, here’s my number and my work schedules. You don’t have to drop by during weekends since I’m always here, but I might need you every Wednesdays to Fridays. Can I have your class schedule as well? That way I know when’s the right time to text you if I need something,” Reaching into your bag that had a copy of your schedule, you handed it to him, the strawberry-haired man’s lips growing into a smile as he read over the content. “Well, what do you know? You study engineering too? Computer engineering?”

You winced, memories you’d rather not think of again resurfacing. “Please don’t call me a nerd. I’ve heard that enough already.”

“What’s wrong about being a nerd? I’ve always been a nerd too and I think I’m fine,” you swapped numbers after that, not even giving you enough time to recover from his comment. Not that being a nerd was a huge deal, but people always said it weirdly that you dreaded hat word. Hearing it from him though...it felt like a compliment. “Guess that settles it then. I’ll see you soon?”

Heart elated and spirits soaring into the sky that you actually got the job and the employer was a kind man, you nodded with a bright smile on your face. “Yeah, I’ll come by next week! Thank you so much for trusting me!”

“No, thank you for your service,” he responded back shyly, waving to you as you walked out the door. Not a few moments later, Mr. Itadori ran after you, his cheeks flushed pink from the shrot run. “Wait! Can I have my son back?”

Looking down at the baby in your arms who was too busy sucking on his thumb, your cheeks heated, extending your arms as gentle as you could while Mr. Itadori got his son back. He only laughed at your state, waving it off with a shake of his head. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! It just feels so natural to hold him!”

“You’ll be a good mother someday,” he commented almost absentmindedly. Meanwhile, you couldn’t stop bowing and apologizing with each step backwards, too distracted to notice that your heels dug into a small crack. You yelped as you felt the floor slip beneath you, Mr. Itadori’s instincts kicking in when he easily grabbed your wrist to pull you towards him, your foreheads almost knocking one another’s. “Whoa – watch your step. You could’ve fallen seriously there.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Itadori! I’ll try to be more graceful next time,” you bowed repeatedly, still so ashamed as you tugged your skirt down. “Why the hell did I wear heels anyway? It’s not like this is a law firm.”

“Please,” he smiled at you – and you swore in that moment that things were just going to be different – eyes closed and his whole face lit with light heartedness. “Call me Jin,” taking his son’s hands up, he waved the little arm as you walked out the door, still in a light trance of disbelief. “Say bye-bye, Yuuji!”

Even as you made it back to your bus stop, you still couldn’t get your mind off of the strawberry-haired father and son duo. Their home was just so...bright, you immediately felt safe and comfortable.

As your heart fluttered at the memory of Jin smiling at you, you placed a palm over your heart, willing it to calm down. That couldn’t be good, right?

“Earth to Y/N!”

You snapped back to life when your friend slapped you on the arm, smiling at her when she only huffed at your dazed out self again. It wasn’t irregular for you to space out like this, and you were more than thankful she was always there to bring you back to reality before you accidentally crossed a street when the lights were green or something.

“Sorry, what?”

“Do you know how many times we had to drag you away because you keep running into poles?” she rolled her eyes, “Sheesh, how would you survive without us? What are you spacing out for anyway?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just thinking about work and all.”

“Speaking of that, how’d the interview go? Was your employer as strict and condescending as the Zenins? The hell happened to those bastards anyway?” “I bet their child is going to grow up sexist or something.”

At the mention of Jin and his baby, your whole self lit up. “My employer is better this time around. He’s only a few years older than us; like five or seven, I think? He’s really nice too and dude, his baby is so. Freaking. Adorable,” you gushed, mimicking the gesture of rocking a baby around with your arms, eyes filled with heart-shaped characters. “Like a freaking strawberry in my arms! He’s so sweet too!”

“You and your attachment to babies,” she scrunched her nose in disgust – always having had an aversion to anyone younger than her. “I’ll never get it.”

“Babies are the best!”

“Yeah, until they drool and throw up on you,” as if the image procured in her mind, your friend shuddered, rubbing her hands up and down her arm to relieve her goosebumps. “I never want to be a mom.”

“You’ll change your mind once you fall in love with someone who’s amazing enough to make you want to have a family on your own.”

“You talk about that as if you’ve met that someone already!”

“Maybe I have,” you giggled stupidly to yourself. Of course you weren’t thinking about Jin – you just knew deep in your heart you always wanted your own family. Growing up from a large family and getting separated from them, it was uncomfortable to not be surrounded by crying and squealing, which was always accompanied with laughter and kisses at the end of the day. Now who wouldn’t want that? You waved your hand to your friend, trying to hide the apparent gushing behind your voice. “I’m just kidding. I just really love babies.”

“Whatever,” she closed the topic, and you didn’t protest, knowing full well your friend cringed at the mention of babies or children. “So are you coming to our study group tonight?”

“Can’t. Got work,” you shrugged, a light skip in your steps as you both walked to the campus. Thankfully, she mistook your enthusiasm with the excitement of getting to hang out with babies again, which was true, but something about meeting Jin again and possibly getting to know more about the sweet father was a huge cherry on top – one your friend didn’t have to know about.

“Shame. I heard that hot guy from Biology was coming too.”

“Fushiguro Toji? Wasn’t he scouted for the military?”

“Honestly, I’m more surprised he’s not a gangster,” she snorted, “But whatever. Text me when you get home safely, okay? If you don’t text within—”

“Yeah, I know, I know. Text you when I get on the bus stop, text you when I arrive at work, when I leave and when I’ve gotten home otherwise you’re calling the cops to report me missing or abused,” you stood up straight for a mock salute, brows furrowed in faux seriousness. “I know, ma’am. That’s drilled in my head already.”

“I’m serious. The world is a dangerous place!”

“Yes, I’ll text you!”

Wednesdays couldn’t come sooner. But when it did, you were far too excited. You’d never tell anyone you took the extra time to fix your hair and spritz on just a tinge of perfume, not wanting to overwhelm the baby.

You shot up from your seat right after class ended, hair flying in the wind as you bolted to the bus stop. Wiping away the sweat on your forehead and fixing your clothes with a pat of your hand, you took a deep breath, chanting inner mantras that today would be a good at work. You’d be contributing to society by caring for a child that would soon be the light of the future, and you were more than honoured. Clearing your throat, you pressed on the bell, humming to yourself as you heard the light patters of footsteps inside.

“Hey, you’re here!” Jin smiled at you, one you reciprocated wholeheartedly, and he opened the door wider while you took off your shoes.

He was still dressed in his sweatpants and a white shirt, looking utterly domestic and different from your previous employers that would glare at you if you touched their kid without sanitizing your hand twice first. Jin was like a breath of fresh air to you – one you breathed in with glee while you followed him inside.

His house was kept neat and clean, surprising you even more at just how immaculate to detail he could be despite his busy schedule. Was it because he was an adult or a parent now that people his age were just more organized and put together?

Whatever it was, you trailed around Jin like a puppy, eager to learn from his ways.

“I told myself I’d only ask you to come around if I’m away for work but I’m working on a huge project and my client is very demanding. He’s asking me to pass it this week already and he just sent me his plans last night.”

“It’s okay...Jin,” you stuttered over calling him by his first name like that, “You can focus on your work. I’ll take care of everything else.”

“Thank you! Yuuji’s in his room, by the way. He’s just had dinner so he’s still energetic – you can pull up the cartoons and lounge in the living room. He’ll be fine,” he opened his mouth to say something else when his gaze darted to your book bag, eyes widening. “Oh wait, you brought your schoolwork—”

“I’m good! I’ve already finished them during my spare time! I promise you really don’t have anything to worry about!”

“Oh, that’s cool, I guess,” he calmed down at your words, scratching the back of his ear before gesturing to his door. “Well, I’ll be in my room if you need me. I get really occupied and focused though, so just open the door if I don’t open it right away.”

“Noted,” You wasted no time in picking up Yuuji from his crib afterwards. It seemed the little man didn’t quite like being imprisoned like that because he was babbling nonsensically, fists banging on the edges.

Upon seeing you enter his room, Yuuji’s babbles got louder, small chubby arms reaching out to your extended ones. His pacifier fell inside his crib as he pouted at you, and how could you resist? Soon, you were happily nestled onto the couch on the living room, his favourite cartoons playing on the background.

His head swayed side to side as the songs came along, while you watched him with tiny giggles. You wondered if maybe your first day at work would be eventless like this.

You really thought you’d run back and forth doing errands and changing diapers, but that was your old babysitting experience – things were obviously different with Jin and his son.

Yuuji was quiet, but Jin was right, he was clingy. Not an hour later into the show, he crawled to your sides and settled into your lap, tiny hands grabbing at your shirt. He sighed as his cheeks rested on your chest, though his eyes still glossed over the cartoon. You felt like your heart would burst at his affection, and you patted his back gently to lull him to sleep.

Eventually, Yuuji fell asleep. You hadn’t even noticed it was dark out already, the cartoons only playing through loop.

You scooped up Yuuji closer to your arms before shutting the TV off, making sure to be as quiet as you could be while you placed him back on his crib. Smiling at the angel, you patted his hair before leaving the room, knocking on Jin’s door at the end of the hallway instead.

When he didn’t respond after four knocks, you thought he’d fallen asleep until you remembered his note.

Shakily, you twisted the knob open, a small smile on your face when you saw him furiously sketching something on his paper. An empty cup of coffee laid beside his table, eraser shavings everywhere. His room smelled like soft laundry detergent with the faint aroma of white caramel coffee – smooth and sweet like him – and it felt almost wrong to be in such a space that was clearly so intimate of him.

Not wanting to disturb too much, you cleared you peered from behind the door sheepishly. “...Jin? Oh. Hello.”

“Hey,” he blinked at you then rubbed his eyes, staring at you for a solid minute before his mouth formed into an ‘o’ shape. “Is everything okay? Yuuji didn’t destroy something, did he?”

“No, he’s fast asleep. I just came here to say I’ll be going home now. It’s past midnight already.”

“It’s that late?” Jin glanced at his wristwatch and adjusted his glasses, fingers swiping up to retrieve his keys as he wore his coat. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you stay this late, and you have school tomorrow too,” he groaned tiredly, though the apologetic smile on his face easily concealed his exhaustion. “I’m really sorry I lost track of time. Come, I’ll drive you home, it’s not safe this dark out.”

“But Jin,” you froze in his hallway, “What about Yuuji?”

“Do you live far from here?”

“No, the dorms are like five minutes away,” Jin pondered about this information, possibly hesitating that maybe it wasn’t his best to leave his son alone. You appreciated the thought, you really did, but you were worried for Yuuji too so you smiled at him, nodding to assure that he didn’t have to. “Jin, it’s okay, I can just take the bus. I’ve been doing that for a long time now and I’m really okay.”

Jin clutched at his keys, the frown on his face evident. “At least let me walk you to the bus stop? So I know you’re safe?”

“Yeah, that’s fine, I guess.”

“Let me just get extra covers for Yuuji. It might be cold tonight,” You waited until he came out with Yuuji warmly bundled up in his arms. The two of you walked side by side, baby Yuuji fast asleep in his arms with his head covered in a small cap. You blushed at the thought that maybe people would think you looked like a family, but before these foolish imaginations could consume you, Jin beat you to it. “I haven’t thanked you properly for today, by the way. Let me make it up to you sometime – you look really tired.”

You flushed deep at his words, shaking your hands in front of you. “Oh no, it’s fine, really! I’m just doing my job.”

“Yes, but caring for someone else’s child – whether you’re paid or not – is still a very selfless act and I can’t thank you enough for it.”

You looked away from how warm his smile was despite the biting chill of the night, turning away to bury your chin in your neck instead. “You really don’t have to do anything. I’m just happy to help.”

“If you insist then,” Jin waved at you as much as he could without waking his son up as you hopped onto the bus, with you watching from the inside. “Get home safely! Text me when you’re home!”

“I will,” you mouthed through the window.

Jin and Yuuji disappeared from your sight after that. All the way back home, the warmth and butterflies swarming your stomach wouldn’t disappear. Even as you flopped on your bed, you still kept tossing and turning, the bright light of your screen glaring at you to just send the darned text already.

Hey...or maybe hello? He’s older though... How do older people even text each other? He wasn’t that much older, but still...it kind of felt inappropriate to address him too casually.

Deciding to just screw it, you pressed backspace and settled for the most boring text, hitting send and flattening on the bed with a groan. Who knew texting someone could be that mind-boggling? Sweat beaded at your forehead as you stared at the plain I’m home, sleep about to take over when your phone buzzed afterwards.

I’m glad to know you’re safe. Sleep well, Y/N.

Looking over at your slumbering roommate, you grabbed a pillow to bite it and muffle your screams, legs flailing beneath you as you read his text over and over again. It wasn’t even that special, but Jin had wished you well – the hardworking and sweet Jin – sending your heart into overdrive.

Your roommate didn’t stir one bit even as you giggled to yourself, punching the bed while you replayed the image of his smile, the feeling of how warm he was walking close to you like that and the sound of his soothing voice that just messed with you on the insides.

God, you had it bad – and yet, why did it feel so good?

Babysitting had never been more fun. Even though the task was no longer new for you, you looked forward to working every single day. Your friends noticed your change in moods, but just downed it to the fact you were generally a cheerful person anyway and didn’t bother asking why, which you were thankful for because it wasn’t easy to admit it out loud you liked Itadori Jin, of all people.

Now that you looked back onto it, he wasn’t that special.

He was definitely the type of guy you easily overlooked in a train, but he would also be the type of guy who wouldn’t hesitate to give up his seat for someone else. It wasn’t like he was utterly interesting too since like you, his life was a bland routine of taking care of babies, working, holing up in his room to create something, drinking coffee as sweet and light as possible, then calling it a day and sleeping with a huge smile on their face, just thankful for another day.

Yes, he was simple. Yes, he might even be boring, but gosh, you had never liked someone so much.

You summed it down to him being kind and loving. Yes, that was all it was. While your friends flocked over to mysterious, dark guys like Fushiguro Toji and his friends, gossiping non-stop on how he supposedly had a hotter younger relative but were a lot shittier than he was, you were different. You were simple.

You liked soft, quiet guys who enjoyed the soft pit-patters of rain, the types of people who spent too much time in the library travelling across galaxies in their seat, and overall, you liked peaceful souls.

Jin was everything you ever admired – stable, simple, kind, affectionate. It was clear from how he was never shy to shower his baby with kisses and feed him with airplane spoons, using a small voice to baby talk his son. Every time you came around, you immediately felt welcomed into their happy home despite the lack of a maternal figure, and you found yourself wanting to be there a lot more often than you should.

It seemed that the heaven heard your prayers when your phone rang. Instinct kicked in, and you grabbed at your blaring phone, eyes wide when you read the contact name.

“Hello? Jin, what’s wrong?” Yuuji was crying in the background, accompanied with his father’s constant shushing and worried cooing.

“H-hi, I’m really sorry to bother you, I know it’s late, it’s just Yuuji won’t stop crying and my neighbours are mad at me because I can’t get him to calm down,” as if on cue, Yuuji only wailed louder. You could hear Jin’s desperate pleas for him to quiet down a little, with you dashing out of your bed and slinging your arms inside your coat. “Could you please come over? I don’t know what to do.”

“I’m on my way,” was all you said before hanging up. Minutes later, you’d entered their apartment thanks to the spare key Jin gave you, heart breaking as Yuuji’s wailings only got louder.

Jin’s shoulders visibly relaxed when you scooped his son into your arms, rocking back and forth as you pressed a palm flat on his forehead. He didn’t seem to be feverish or even warmer than usual, but he was definitely irritated, pushing away at your hands that laid on him.

“Yuuji, baby! What’s wrong, sweetheart? Something hurt anywhere?” you turned to Jin, “Is his diaper full?”

“I just checked, he didn’t poop,” Jin nibbled at his thumbnails, a quirk you didn’t expect he’d have with his seemingly put-together composed self. His son’s crying must’ve really bothered him because Jin wouldn’t stop pacing back and forth, Yuuji’s newly cleaned pacifier clenched between his fingers. “I gave him the teething rings too but he just dumped them to the side.”

Nodding, you tried poking at Yuuji’s stomach. The baby belly that should’ve been squishy was firm against your finger, the imaginary light bulb in your head going off.

“His stomach is a little tight. I think he’s got gas,” you informed Jin with a relieved smile, glad that it wasn’t as serious as you thought it would be. “We need to make him burp,” Patting at Yuuji’s back while Jin gently massaged Yuuji’s belly, prompting the boy to wail louder with his tiny arms banging both your chest, a big burp was finally released.

“Oh my gosh, he’s still crying.”

“It’s okay, Jin, he’ll be fine,” you reassured, smiling wide at baby Yuuji even though he couldn’t focus on you. “That’s right, sweetheart, you’re doing great. Just burp a little more and it won’t hurt so bad. It’s just gas, sweetie, you’re alright. I’ve got you.”

“B-but the neighbours...”

“Don’t mind them,” You didn’t mean for your words to come out harsh, but who could blame you? Yuuji was clearly in distress; the last thing you cared about was pleasing others. “They can plug in earbuds for all I care. Yuuji needs help,” at your words, Jin swallowed, resuming his ministrations of encouraging his son to burp.

Yuuji stilled for a moment before he resumed his crying. This time around, Jin was a lot calmer and focused as his hands rubbed at his son’s stomach. The burps came constant afterwards until Yuuji had enough, turning away from his father and burying his head on your chest. Small hiccups followed, but he’d calmed down, eyes shut tight from the previous discomfort.

“Are you feeling better now, baby? Tummy ache is gone?”

“He’s...not crying anymore...” Jin murmured in disbelief, his hands hovering above Yuuji’s belly.

“He’s still really red, though,” you frowned, hands brushing his bangs away from his forehead. It didn’t take long before Yuuji settled in, thumbs sucked into his mouth. Little whimpers could still be heard from the little guy, though nothing serious happened. You and Jin both sighed in relief. “I think he’s tired from crying. I’m going to go rock him for a bit,” Eyes flitting over to Jin’s face rigged with dark circles, you mustered a chuckle. “How about you, are you okay? You look half-dead,” you joked.

“He was in the crib next to me when he just started wailing out of nowhere,” Jin plopped down onto the sofa, his sweatshirt crinkled and sweatpants loose and comfortable as ever. “I was so scared that maybe something else was wrong.”

“Parenting is both a blessing and a hardship, huh?” you chided in, “Don’t worry. I still think you’re doing an amazing job at being a dad.”

“You’re quite amazing too. You’re a natural at this.”

You shrugged, unable to look Jin in the eye as you continued gently swaying side to side while Yuuji slept in your arms. “My parents were rarely around. They were too busy working to provide for all of us so I acted as the parental figure instead.”

“Your parents are really lucky to have you as a child – reliable and strong.”

“All I ever wanted was to make them proud,” you told him, looking far from the distance as you reminisced your old memories with your family. It felt so far away already – they felt far away – though you knew the love you had for one another still remained. “And I live a good life knowing they passed with no worries. My siblings are doing great, too, though we’ve all parted ways now. Some of them got adopted by our relatives and I’m...I’m here I guess.”

“I’m extremely sorry for your loss,” Jin’s voice was quiet, and when you looked back at him, you saw him smiling into his hands before turning to you, wearing that damned smile that always had your heart doing backflips. “You’re a really strong person, you know?”

Your cheeks flushed at his words. “Thank you. I think it’s all thanks to my parents,” you murmured; that slight pang of pain remained even after their death, though it wasn’t as awful as it used to be. The sting felt a lot calmer now, almost as if time slowly healed your heart back together. “After they passed from the car crash, I just knew I had to be strong for all of us. The pain and the hardship were worth the effort, though. All of us are happy and settled now.”

“That’s the one thing I’m most afraid of,” he confessed, frowning at the peaceful baby in your arms. “That I’ll have to leave my child before he’s ready to face the world by himself. I’m not...I could never be prepared for that.”

“As long as he knows you love him and you always will, I think Yuuji will always find his way in life,” Jin’s eyes widened, something unreadable glimmering behind those pretty eyes that had you feeling too many things all at once. Embarrassment and sudden shyness creeped all the way up to your spine along with exhaustion, and you gestured for him to move aside, heaving as you sat down next to him. “I’m really sleepy.”

“Please, let me hold – oh. He likes you more, I guess.”

You chuckled at his dejected face, the childish pout the exact replication of Yuuji’s. Yuuji refused to be held by his dad, burrowing himself into your warmth instead. “I’ve got a charm when it comes to children.”

“That you do,” he agreed absentmindedly.

Before any of you could realize what was going on, you’d fallen asleep on the couch. Yuuji was still safely nestled between your arms, while Jin’s head was tucked in your shoulder, soft breaths leaving those equally soft lips.

Oddly enough, when you woke up and noticed your current position, none of you found it weird. Jin only laughed at the way drool dried up at the end of your lips, to which you silently scolded him for as to not rouse Yuuji from his sleep. He didn’t move away from his position, eyes flicking over from yours to his son bundled up warmly, a smile tugging up at the ends of his lips.

“Uh... that was a long night.”

“Long night, indeed,” Jin nodded before standing up to stretch, exposing a sliver of smooth skin that made heat rush up to your face. You immediately looked away, heart pounding in your chest as Jin began to rummage through his kitchen. “It’s a Saturday so if you’re free...do you want to stay over for breakfast?”

Something about that night kicked off the start of your...budding friendship with Jin. Yes, that’s exactly what it was, just friendship.

You knew there was no way he could ever see you the way you looked at him; not that you minded. Being in their presence and having Yuuji around was already a blessing itself, the days progressively getting better the more you worked for him.

It had become a routine that Jin would come home, exhaustion lining his eyes before he caught sight of you standing in the living room, reading books out loud while you carried a babbling Yuuji. You would laugh because it felt like Yuuji was trying to have conversation with you, to which you responded with reading terms even you had difficulty pronouncing. He’d only nod and keep saying nonsense, grubby hands reaching for the book you held.

He was so precious that you leaned down to kiss the top of his head every now and then, giggles pouring out from the tiny baby strawberry.

Jin took off his shoes, the happiness bursting through his chest unexplainable upon seeing that his son was happy and safe. Loosening the tie with one hand, he extended his arms wide open, running into your direction. “I’m home!”

“Yuuji, Daddy’s here!”

“How’s my sweet little boy doing?” The smile on Jin’s face was phenomenal and even dramatic as his son finally reached out to him, the babbles only getting louder as his dad peppered his cheeks with kisses. Yuuji still wanted to stay in your arms though, and Jin sighed when his son’s hands went back to grabbing at your book, though the chuckles he let out told you he wasn’t really dismayed about it. “Thank you for looking out for him again. Isn’t your arm tired from carrying him and studying like that?”

“No, I’m good. I’ve got really strong muscles,” you flexed your bicep, “Plus, it’s so comforting to carry an angel like Yuuji around. I feel like I’m going to pass my exams with ease!”

Not a moment later, you dropped your arm and turned away to hide your frown, brows pinched together. Jin, being the ever observant person he was, placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, his voice gentle and warm as he asked, “Is something wrong?”

“Well,” you began, “I couldn’t understand something and I’ve been going at it for days. Nothing makes sense to me,” with the effort of only one free hand, you flipped to the middle of the book. A headache began to form the moment you read the chapter title, making you cringe while Jin leaned closer for a better look at its contents. “Look at this chapter here. It’s so confusing!”

“Oh, I know this!” he pushed his glasses back up to his nose, grinning as he pulled out a chair before gesturing you to do so. “Okay, so this means...” 

Not even in your craziest dreams had you imagined you’d be sitting at Jin’s table like this, your legs touching from the lack of space as he rambled on excitedly about the lesson.

He would have animated gestures to explain the dynamics of this and that, both you and Yuuji staring at him in awe as he broke the chapter down into easier parts. It was still difficult to understand since your attention was mostly on the way his eyes brightened the more he talked about his passion for the subject, not to mention that Yuuji was also grabbing at both your faces.

It made you both laugh, the two of you simultaneously bending down to kiss either sides of his cheeks until Yuuji was squished between the both of you.

You laughed with Jin the moment you made awkward eye contact through the kiss, chests bursting with laughter before he proceeded back to the lesson. With each passing second, you were beginning to fall for him a lot more and on a deeper level – so much so that you told yourself you should be scared. Instead, your heart felt at home, calm and peaceful, almost as if it knew you were safe and welcomed.

This sudden revelation had you looking at him in an entirely different light. Jin looked...the same, but somehow warmer? Like he was bathed in a soft glow, the edges pink like his hair, and your hair melted at each and every word that poured from his lips.

When you excused yourself to go to the restroom, you were greeted by the sight of a nearly passed out Jin on the couch, baby Yuuji asleep on his arms.

Jin must be really tired from work. He hadn’t even changed out of clothes. It was getting late too – you needed to come back home soon.

“Jin. Jin, wake up.”

“Huh?” his eyes snapped open, arms instinctively tightening around Yuuji’s before he relaxed, smiling stupidly as he leaned back on his seat. “Oh, it’s you. Hi.”

“Hi,” you echoed, nails digging into your palm to resist the urge to wrap him in a hug; he looked like he needed it. Hands held out in front of you, you took Yuuji from him, slightly nudging his knee with yours. “I’ll take Yuuji to bed. You should go freshen up,” Jin groaned in agreement as he ran his hands through his hair, muttering something about being a parent meant not getting to sleep well. You chuckled at his statement, already moving to get the cups out from the pantry. “Do you want me to make you a cup of tea?”

“Yeah, that’ll be great, thank you.”

Jin disappeared into his room while you tucked Yuuji into bed, the both of you meeting later in the kitchen. He still looked terribly tired, though his smile was lively as ever when he joined you at the table. “Long day again?”

“It’s always a long day,” he confessed through a sip, “But all my worries wash away when I get to see how happy and healthy my son is. I’d work day and night just to provide a good life for him.”

“Don’t forget to spend time with him too, okay? Using the present to ensure your son’s future in exchange of not watching them grow up isn’t worth it,” you reminded him, slightly referring to how much you regretted not getting to be with your parents much until you completely lost the opportunity to do so again. Jin easily read your eyes, fingers grazing the edges of his cup as you continued, “He’s growing day by day. Promise me you’ll always be there for him, okay?”

“I promise,” though whispered, you heard it loud and clear, and you knew without a doubt he’d keep to his words.

After Jin washed his cup, you gathered your things and allowed him to walk you all the way to his apartment’s entrance, waving softly at you. “Get home safely, Y/N. Text me when you’re home.”

It was the perfect routine: go to school, go to work, fall in love with Jin and his son a lot more than you should be, and go home with his kind smile as the last thing you saw.

Each night before sleep completely overtook you, your phone would vibrate, the name of the man who had completely smitten your heart appearing and washing away all the previous tiredness you both accumulated through the day.

Good night, Jin. Rest well.

You too.

It was a routine you’d never get tired of.

“Jin? Yuuji?” you gasped as Yuuji greeted you with bubbling laughter, his small arms slapping your cheeks while his dad giggled behind him. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Happy Birthday!” Jin greeted and finally showed his face after hiding from Yuuji’s buttocks. Your heart absolutely soared at the sight of the father and son duo wearing matching pink clothes, both of their bright smiles only adding to the warmth of the special day. No, actually, it became special because of them – the two people you adored most in this world. “Satoru texted me it was your birthday and it’s my day off too so I thought I’d drop by!”

Before you could respond, Jin huddled Yuuji closer to him, blinking at the audience you both managed to gather.  “I forgot you lived at a dorm, though...is it normal that people are looking us?”

“No, it’s not. They probably think I’m a young mom or something,” you flushed beet red at his words, silently glaring at the nosy onlookers whispering behind their backs. It wasn’t that you were ashamed people could assume that about you, it was just ironic since you actually wanted that to be real but it was embarrassing because you knew Jin wouldn’t see you that way. “Can you give me a few minutes to get ready? We should go somewhere else.”

“Okay, we’ll wait for you downstairs.”

You’ve never moved so fast in your life. Brushing your teeth, showering, and getting dressed in your best clothing were all achieved in the span of ten minutes. You felt proud of yourself as you hopped the stairs two steps down at a time, hair flying from behind you. It was clear you were too excited, but could anyone blame you? You never cared about your birthday, but Jin and Yuuji were here! Of course this was going to be a special day.

You froze at the end of the stairs, the drumming of your heart too wild to tame. Jin was blowing kisses into Yuuji’s belly, the baby’s gleeful laughter painting the walls.

He must’ve felt your stare burning holes at the back of his head because Jin turned your way, Yuuji pressed into his chest as he walked towards you. You were once again blown away by his sweet scent, a mix of gentle laundry detergent and something was just so Jin.

“Hey there,” he smiled, knocking the wind out of your lungs with just two words. “I didn’t have anything cool planned for today since I wasn’t prepared but I know this nice restaurant you might really like. It’s going to be my treat!”

“Oh thanks, but my friends already fed me enough with pizza and cake. Is it okay if we just take a walk around somewhere?”

“Yeah, of course!” Grabbing his arm to pull him away from prying eyes, you walked out of the campus, extending your arms to celebrate your freedom once the warm sunshine kissed at your skin, the cool wind soothing you afterwards. Jin laughed at your carefree expression, watching as you twirled and danced a little at the peace provided to you by the park. “Happy Birthday again! So how’s it feel like being a year older?”

“I feel like nothing’s changed, but at the same time nothing is the same too,” you told him through a laugh, “Does that make sense?”

“Totally. When I first got Yuuji, I didn’t think anything changed too, but now I can’t imagine a life without this little guy.”

Your adrenaline rush had worn down.

Walking side by side with Jin, arms brushing from the lack of proximity even though the area was practically empty, it dawned on you that Jin had lived an entire life before you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from asking: “Do you...do you still think about her sometimes? His mom?”

Jin was silent for a moment. The sudden stretch of nothingness had anxiety crawling at you hard enough you were about to apologize for asking such a sensitive question, but Jin only smiled at you, although his smile was...sad, regretful, even.

“His mom and I didn’t work out,” he began. “I always knew she had some family issues when we began dating in college, but I didn’t think too much of it. Back then, all I knew was that I loved her and wanted to spend my life with her, so we eloped. Her parents didn’t like it, of course, and they demanded we brought her back,”

“She was pregnant at that time so I refused to let her see her family again knowing how toxic they were to her. But they insisted, and...and she wasn’t the same after that. She just started looking at me differently and hating the growing child inside of her,” Jin kissed the top of Yuuji’s head as he spoke, almost as if silently reminding his son he was loved no matter what.

“When Yuuji was born, she couldn’t even look at him; said she refused to be a mother and to cut ties with me. So we divorced and...well, I don’t know, to be honest. Last time I heard, she’d already remarried in such a short time – to a man her family approved of this time around.”

“Do you still love her?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted with a chuckle, eyebrows furrowed while Yuuji clutched at the collar of his turtleneck sweater, his doe eyes staring right up at you. “Do we ever really stop loving someone?”

Your heart fell at his words. So maybe he still did love her. You always knew you might never get a chance – but surely wishing for it wasn’t such a crime. “Does that mean you won’t fall in love with anyone else anymore?”

“Who would like a nerdy single dad like me?” Jin threw his head back in laughter, the disbelief apparent in his voice. It shocked you that he thought of himself this way, because in your eyes, he was perfect. “Plus, I’m too busy to date. Other than you, I don’t really hang out with women all that much, and you’ve seen in my worst state – like that one time I nearly went to work wearing the wrong tie or with my glasses skewed. I don’t think I’m the type people would want to date.”

“Well, who knows?”

“Yeah, who knows?” he mimicked your shrug, still painfully oblivious that you wore your heart on your sleeve.

Once the sun had completely shied away from the clouds and the heat grew too much for Yuuji, you both resorted to going back to his apartment. Yuuji was happily playing on the ground as he smashed his toys together, while you and Jin wore matching aprons (you didn’t ask why he had two) as you mixed the batter and he preheated the oven.

“I’m still sorry I couldn’t get to buy you a cake, by the way. But we have all the ingredients here and a homemade cake is always amazing!” Instead of smiling at his words, Jin was met with your glossy eyes, lips trembling. You’d completely stopped mixing the batter, no longer in control of yourself as you watched him happily skip back and forth to the ingredients.

Jin rushed to your side in a flash, hands hovering before you. He couldn’t really touch you since he had flour all over his skin, a smidge of it right under his worried gaze. “What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing. It’s just...I’ve never really experienced this before. Having someone invite me to their home and bake me a cake for my birthday,” you looked down on the ground, feeling the emotional dam inside you starting to crack. “When I was young, I never even cared about my birthday because I was too busy tending after my siblings. After that, I forgot all about it and I was only surprised when my friends brought me gifts today,” You knew you were rambling, and you waved your hands in front of yourself, forcing yourself to smile. “I’m sorry – I’m being dramatic, aren’t I?”

“Hey, no, you’re not,” Suddenly, Jin pulled you into a hug, your body fitting perfectly in his arms. “I want you to know you’re family to us now. You’re always welcome here with me and Yuuji. We’ll take care of each other like family. We’ll bake you all the cakes you want from now on.”

The rest of his words were drowned out by the thumping of your chest.

You couldn’t hear him, couldn’t even properly see him – in that moment, all you could do was feel. You felt his warm breath ghosting over the column of your neck, his calloused hands patting gently at your back, the heat of his body seeping into yours that pulling away seemed to be such a daunting task. He felt like home, smelled like all the sweetness you lacked in your life, and you just knew you had to tell him.

“Jin. There’s something I have to tell you.”

“Yes?”

“I,” your breath shuddered, hands coming up to clutch at the material of his shirt. “I’m in love with you.”

Just like that, the string broke.

Jin pulled away from you faster than you could comprehend. When you opened your eyes, he was already at an arm’s length away from you, nothing but the sounds of your heart shattering into pieces muddling with his words.

His back dipped into a low bow. “I am extremely sorry; I cannot accept your feelings. It’s not that you’re not loveable; it’s just...you’re my son’s babysitter and I believe this is really inappropriate. Yuuji is vulnerable still and the last thing I want to do is date when I should be focusing on his life instead. I’m really sorry, Y/N. I don’t see nor do I feel that way for you.”

Hurt. Broken. Humiliated. Ashamed. Torn.

A plethora of feelings crashed over you all at once until breathing became such a hard thing to do, his words replaying like a broken record in your head.

He didn’t love you.

He didn’t feel the same way.

And it made sense – because why would he? “Yeah, oh my gosh!” you exclaimed while waving your hands frantically in front of your face, your unexpected enthusiasm causing Jin to peer up at you curiously under his lashes. “I mean, of course, I knew that already, duh. I’m not stupid, but like, yeah I’m really sorry, I’m probably making you so uncomfortable right now. I’m really, really sorry.”

“You’re not, I assure you,” he smiled gently again, but this time around, you weren’t soothed. It felt totally humiliating. Your toes curled inside your socks as your forced smile froze on your face in hopes of not making this any weirder than it already was, and you only chuckled as Jin cleared his throat. “I hope we can still be friends after this and that we can keep our professional relationship,” you nodded eagerly, a little too eagerly, and Jin awkwardly gestured to the pans. “So...a cake is waiting to be baked.”

“Yeah, let’s get to baking!”

If Jin noticed that you were a lot more enthusiastic than you were this morning, he didn’t comment about it. He hummed under his breath in agreement, the both of you working synchronously.

You’ve been in his house long enough that you knew where all the pans and ingredients were, silently handing things over one another through a forced polite conversation of how the other’s day went. A pat on your back was well deserved from how you managed to keep up with his questions, your broken heart perfectly concealed under forced smiles and dry chuckles.

In reality, you couldn’t focus.

On the inside, you were shattered. Why did you have to fall for him out of all people? There could’ve been so many others – like Fushiguro Toji from Biology, Gojo Satoru the playboy, Suguru Geto the heir of his large corporation – but it had to be Itadori Jin.

He was so close and yet out of reach, seemingly so unattainable that your lips had dried from how often you licked at them in an attempt to keep the tears in.

You knew you ruined everything. Soon, you’d have to say goodbye to baby Yuuji, no longer able to kiss him on top of his head and see him smile the moment you walked through the door, his dad equally alight upon seeing you got Yuuji a stuffed toy as a gift.

You were stupid for thinking you could even be part of this family. They were happy and fine enough – what role did you have here?

Compared to an actual working adult who’d already experienced many things in life like Jin, you were just a flimsy, lovesick little girl who was only learning how to love. And with loving, came the guaranteed promise of heartbreak.

You just never expected it would be this way.

As Jin turned his back to you to place the batter inside the oven, your hands shook, desperately wiping the sweat of your palms on your jeans. “Excuse me for a minute,” you dashed to the bathroom, locking yourself and finally allowing the broken gasps to leave your lips.

Your back was laid flat on the wall, your shirt tucked in your mouth as you slapped your thigh, the tears streaming endlessly down your cheeks.

You didn’t want to leave him. You wanted to stay longer, wanted to be able to see his face every waking morning and to make him tea while he made breakfast. You wanted to watch Yuuji grow up and hold hands with Jin, to tell him you would love him if he allowed you. But he didn’t – and it hurt so much that your eyes grew red from the incessant crying.

It was better to just leave than to be kicked out. You couldn’t stay here any longer.

So you wiped your tears away, dunking water to your face before you rushed out the room, bag slung across your shoulder. Yuuji stopped playing as he watched you wear your shoes in frantic movements, your heart bursting through with pain.

You didn’t dare look Jin in the eye.

“Hey, Jin, I’m so sorry – my friends called. They’re inviting me out for drinks tonight and I can’t say no.”

“But...the cake.”

“Yeah, you can eat it yourself, I’m really sorry to bother but uhm, anyways, BYE!” Left confused, Jin stared at the door slammed shut hard enough that Yuuji fell to the floor in surprise, small whines leaving his lips.

Jin couldn’t tell whether his son cried because you’d left them, or he was simply afraid of the sound. Whatever it was, the sinking feeling in his stomach was much too clear.

The next few days were hell. Your friends noticed the sudden drop in your mood, the loss of appetite, and the fact that you were clearly sleep-deprived.

How could you get sleep when your phone wallpaper was Yuuji kissing your cheeks, his dad laughing in the background? How could you sleep when your textbook still lay on your desk, a painful reminder of that time Jin had tutored you? How could you sleep when Wednesdays and Fridays had returned to its normal mundane self with nothing left to look forward to?

You couldn’t tell your friends about it either. All they knew was that you hadn’t been going to work because you came up with a flu, when in reality you’d been buried under your sheets, desperately ignoring the loud silence of your phone.

No texts. No calls. No how are you’s or how are you doing?

Not that you expected him to care since you did step out of line; you’d been completely unprofessional and Jin might not recommend you to future works anymore, though that was the least of your worries.

You just wanted to forget everything. His smile, his laughter, his kindness, the sound of his voice and how he always smelled like sweet vanilla.

Crying yourself to sleep and wishing each day would come to an end faster was absolutely exhausting. The lack of sunlight caused you to be groggy and gray – if you kept up at this state, you’d completely wither like a dried sunflower. You didn’t want to go out but your mini fridge was empty, stomach loudly grumbling for food.

You sighed as you closed the door, unkempt hair up in a bun and body adorned with an oversized shirt and the sweatpants you’ve refused to wash for two days now.

You were a mess – both on the inside and the outside – and your eyes lacked their usual warmth. Your movements mimicked that of a robot as you straggled to the nearest convenience store, about to enter when you heard someone cry out.

“Mama!”

Hands frozen on the door, your eyes widened before your head craned to the sound of rushed footsteps. In front of you was a panting Jin, a wailing baby Yuuji in his arms who only cried louder once he set his eyes on you. Jin gasped for air, and you both moved in sync, with you reaching out for baby Yuuji and him handing his child over to you.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry! Yuuji’s first word was Mama and I didn’t know what he meant but then he started crying and clutching the strawberry toy you got him and I’m so sorry, he just won’t stop crying. He kept looking for you.”

“No, I’m the one who should apologize!” you replied back, adding a bounce to your step to cradle Yuuji who’d buried his damp face onto your neck, crying mama over and over again.

Memories of meeting Jin for the first time and his reminder that he didn’t want Yuuji calling you that nearly made you kneel down in apology, but you opted for a slight bow, your hot tears trailing down your face because you missed him, but it was all messed up and seeing him once more only dug a deeper crater in your heart.

Before you completely left each other’s lives, you at least wanted to apologize.

“I realized my mistake and made it so weird for the both of us. Plus, Yuuji didn’t say Dada and I think that’s my fault. I swear I wasn’t trying to replace his mom or anything, I just—”

“I love you too,” he cut you off, and your eyes snapped from the ground back to his flustered face.

“What?”

“I’m sorry for lying that I don’t feel the same way,” he confessed, scratching the back of his neck while his ears flushed a deep red. “The truth is, my father always told me that Yuuji’s mom wasn’t a good person and I should stay away from her, but I never listened. A-and I always talked to him about Yuuji’s new babysitter and how kind you were and how I think I’m falling for you. He said I should man up and tell you but I was just afraid to love again since I’ve fallen before and I don’t want to be hurt again,” Jin bowed to you in a perfect angle, his son now at peace in your arms. “I’m sorry.”

“Jin,” you breathed out, the tears prickling at the back of your eyes. You couldn’t believe this was happening – you wanted to embrace him, to kiss him, hold him, but you’d been so engrossed in your own heartbreak you never even thought about Jin’s fears. “I’d never hurt you or Yuuji.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for hurting you like that,” he straightened up, feeling you stiffen under him when his arms wrapped around you. He felt so warm, and you felt so at place that your tears damped his sweatshirt, Jin’s hands gently caressing your waist. “Is it okay if we come back home?”

You cried louder than you ever did your whole life, though this time it was mixed with laughter. Jin laughed with you as you encircled your free arm around his neck to pull him closer, your lips eager as you littered kisses over his neck.

“Yes, of course,” you giggled, “You don’t even have to ask.”

You only ever wanted a job as a babysitter to make ends meet – falling in love was out of the equation – but with the magic presented right in front of you, you weren’t going to push it away, and neither did Jin. This time, you embraced each other wholeheartedly, pink hearts floating in the air while the strawberry-haired baby giggled in your presence, delighted that now his family was whole.

[themonotonysyndrome]

REDACTED verse -  A dinner and a show

Prompt: any | any | competition

Word Count: 2,460

Author/Team: LadyMonotone

Fandom/Original: Redacted ASMR (Vincent Solaire/Lovely)

Rating: T

Triggers: Explicit implications

Summary: It's a tradition within the Solaire Clan that the King would visit his progenies from time to time. Tonight, Will is coming over to Vincent & Lovely's apartment for dinner. What's not a tradition is the karaoke competition that comes afterwards. 

ConCrit: Y

I don’t know what happened. This oneshot just went out of my control but I had so much fun writing it today! I hope you guys enjoyed it! 

Also, I just realised that all the characters in my oneshots have been eating lately. Oh my god, I got so hungry when I was writing them that I subconsciously includes food in some of the scenes 😭 Food is my love language so I guess it’s cute that the bois and their lovers would sit down and eat together. 

That being said, I hope you guys will crave Korean food as much as I am in this oneshot! 😅

-

“Vincent? I need your help. Can you tell me what’s Will's favourite colours?”

“Lovely - ”

“Because I have some formal outfits in our closet, but they don’t mean shit if Will hate the colours.”

“Lovely, hang on - ”

“Is he allergic to perfumes? Colognes? I have some soft-scented bottles that should be Vampire-friendly! I think? Most of them are floral though… oh! Does he have a favourite flower? Do you think I should buy some before he comes over?”

“What? No, Lovely, I think you’re working yourself up - ”

“I know you bought some blood bags for dinner but do you think we should cook some food too? Does Will like to eat? Shit, I knew I should have bought some groceries yesterday after class!”

“You’re not listening to me at all, Lovely…”

“We have to clean up the whole place too. I don’t know how our furniture gets so dusty so quickly! I just wiped them down a few days ago!”

“...”

“Do you think I should do my hair too? It’s a bit of a mess lately; I could use a trim. Does Will - ”

Lovely's eyes widen as a deep kiss suddenly silences them. Their heart pounds when Vincent brings them close to his chest, trapping his lover in his arms. Lovely's eyes flutter close when he pulls away to press butterfly kisses on their neck. They couldn’t help it; they moan and tilt their head back when they feel fangs delicately drag down their tender skin.

“Vincent!” Lovely hisses, not sure for what, though, when Vincent's fangs pinprick where their pulse is.

“Oh? Are you finally with me again, Lovely?” Vincent breathes, loving how their heart begins to beat faster and faster in anticipation. His chest reverberates when he chuckles deeply. “There we go… I have your attention again, little one.”

They grumbled at the unfairness of it all. Just as Lovely knew all of Vincent’s weaknesses and tickle spots, he knew how weak their knees behaved when he pressed his fangs to any parts of his partner's body. Especially down south.

“I’m serious here, Vince.” Lovely whines. “There are so many things we have to do before Will comes over for dinner tonight. I want to make sure everything’s perfect.”

Vincent gives Lovely a deadpan look. They would’ve coo at how adorable he looks if it weren’t for his Vampiric speed and his habit of chucking them onto the bed whenever Lovely is being too stubborn to listen to reason. “Lovely? A question: are you dating my Sire or me?”  

Lovely blinks; they didn’t expect that. “Uh, you, duh.”

“Then trust me, as your boyfriend,” Lovely has no idea why Vincent emphasised that last word, but they knew better than to interrupt him when he gets like this. “That everything’s going to be fine. Besides, I told you that while this might look like the whole ‘meeting the parent’ shtick, the relationship between a Sire and their Progeny is way more than that.” He patiently reminds them.

“Well yeah, but he means a lot to you.” Lovely points out. Now, why did Vincent look so surprised at that? “So that means he’s important to me too. That’s why this dinner has to be perfect.”

For a moment, Vincent said nothing. He just stares at them in wonderment.

Lovely let out a surprised squeak when Vincent suddenly crushed them in a hug. “How did I get so damn lucky with you, Lovely?” He murmurs, face buried on top of their head. “Sometimes I think that you’re… too amazing to be real.”

So soft and sweet; that’s Vincent. Lovely lets him cuddle them like his personal teddy bear until he's satisfied.

“Now, I need you to do something for me, Lovely. Do you think you can do it?”

Lovely raise an eyebrow. “Depends on what it is, Vince. I haven’t eaten anything yet, so I can only give you at least four hours in bed - ”

“N-Not that!” Vincent hurries to interject, a brilliant red blush runs across his cheeks despite him being a Vampire. He coughs once to get them on track, playfully glaring at Lovely for trying to distract him. “Geez, Lovely. It’s still way too early for… that. But we're definitely going to revisit that. Anyway, I need you to calm down for a second, OK? Will is a pretty chill guy and an open-minded Sire. He knows how much I love you, so you have nothing to worry about.” He gently assures them, rubbing calming motions up and down Lovely's back.

Lovely could feel their anxiety melts away. Just enough for them to finally breathe again ever since Vincent dropped the bomb that William Solaire will be coming over for dinner tonight.

Apparently, everyone in the Clan knows that the King would visit his Progenies at least once a month to check up on them. Just like how a parent would drop by their children's home for a visit, in Lovely's opinion.

“Ok. You win, baby.” Lovely sighs, loving how his rubbing eases the tense muscles. They arch their back like a pleased, spoiled cat when Vincent messages that spot below their shoulders. “Ooooh, yes, that’s the spot!”

Once Lovely's bones feel like they could melt at any time, they throw Vincent a grateful smile.

“Now, there’s the smile I’ve been missing the whole day!” Vincent teases. “C’mon Lovely, let’s plan for dinner before we take our nap. How do you feel about seafood?”

“Oh, I can go for some seafood. It’s been a while.”

“Spicy steamed crabs with scallops, battered pan-fry oysters and some chilled bowl of rice top with raw salmon and sea bass with slices of your favourite veggies? All Korean-style."

“Hell yes. I think we have all the ingredients for that. Wait. Err, can Will handle spicy food?”

"Uh... I have no idea. Maybe we should hold back on that spicy steamed crabs with scallops just in case."

Ever since the two started living together, Vincent really took a shine when it came to cooking and baking. The idea of providing for Lovely makes him ridiculously happy, and besides, him whipping up healthy and delicious food for them results in much richer and sweeter blood flowing within his lover for him to feed on so… win-win!

As the two of them traverse to the kitchen to start preparing the ingredients for dinner, Lovely slowly gain the confidence that their dinner tonight with Vincent's Sire will turn out alright.

And before both of them knew it, the sun had set.

After a fresh shower, the entire apartment is now spotless (to Lovely's standard), and dinner is served on the table, the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it!" Lovely announce just as Vincent finish putting down the plates. They smoothen out the creases on their clothes, roll their shoulders before taking a deep, calming breath and answer the door. Like a soldier marching towards the battlefield.

Seeing his partner's dramatic reaction, Vincent just shakes his head.

As soon as Lovely opens the door, William Solaire greets them. "Good evening. I hope I'm not too early. The evening traffic has been quite a hassle lately. I figured that even if I'm a bit early, I could help you and Vincent in the kitchen." Will explains. In his arms is a bouquet of white pear blossoms, yellow gladioluses and red tulips. When Lovely stares at them curiously, Will smiles knowingly. "Vincent informed me that you don't drink, so I decided that flowers would be the appropriate gift as oppose to a bottle of champagne."

"They're so pretty." Lovely reply, breathless when they receive the bouquet. "Thank you so much, Will! I'll put them in a vase now. Oh, and please come in." They graciously step aside to let Vincent's Sire in.

While Lovely is busy rummaging for a vase in the storeroom, Will and Vincent make small talks over at the dining table. Vincent passes the ancient Vampire a tall glass of blood which Will accept with gratitude.

"Hey, Will. How's it going?"

"I'm fine, Vincent. Thank you for asking." Will reply after dabbing the bloodstain on the corner of his lips. "The Clan is the same as usual; Our Newborn members have finally settled in nicely, much to Sam's relief. I plan to visit them next week."

Vincent tops up Will's empty glass before replying. "That's great to hear." He's about to say something else before a loud bang against the wall in the storeroom stops him. "Uh, Lovely? Is everything OK in there?" He calls out.

"It's fine, it's fine!" Lovely shouts back. "I found the perfect vase for the flowers!"

Vincent groans in exasperation. When Will throws him a confused expression, Vincent is compelled to explain. "Look, Will, Lovely has been freaking out about tonight's dinner the whole day. They think that if it turns out anything but perfect, you're going to be disappointed in them. So just... just play along, alright?"

Will chuckles; his heart warms at the thought that Lovely holds him in such high regard. What an adorable human. "Is that so? Very well then, I will play the perfect guest towards such kind hosts."

And true to his words, when Lovely joins them at the table after putting the vase full of flowers on the coffee table in the living room, Will waste no time in kicking his charm to the max. In between their meal, Will makes sure to compliment Lovely's outfit (which earned him a shy yet pleased blush from Lovely and a jealous kick at his shin from Vincent). He then comments that the spicy steamed seafood dish is his favourite, and when desserts are introduced, Will gently helps Lovely open up by asking about their interests and hobbies.

Will is pleasantly surprised to find one of the many common grounds they share: their love for analysing music.

"I find RM to be one of the most brilliant lyricists in this generation." Will states once his bowl of red bean shaved ice is empty. "His songs are undoubtedly impactful for the youths of today. Not to mention that I'm quite fond of his wordplays."

"You're into K-pop!?" Lovely ask, utterly gobsmacked. Their eyes are wide in shock.

Vincent snorts. "Alexis is a BTS fan. Somehow, she managed to convert Will too."

When Lovely turn to face Will once more, their expression frozen in disbelieve, he adds, "We're planning to catch their concert once the situation permits it."

Will's pop culture admission finally broke the ice. Lovely laughs in delight before launching themselves into an animated conversation about modern music with Will.

However, it wasn't long before their topic suddenly went off the rail when Vincent claimed that he's a better shower singer than Lovely.

"Oh please, Vince, I thought you were dying in the bathroom," Lovely interjects with a roll of their eyes. Vincent splutters at his partner's cruel remark, but Lovely presses on without mercy, much to Will's amusement. He resolutely keeps his mouth shut despite his growing grin slowly making its way up to his face. "Face it, you're tone-deaf. Being a Vampire doesn't magically make you a good singer."

"Those are some fighting words, Lovely. Can you back them up?"

"We can settle this tonight if you want. You and me; we can duke it out in a singing swag off with Will as the judge." Lovey declares with a smirk before they head into the living room. All revved up as if their previous anxiety over dinner had never happened.

"Oh my..."

Vincent turns to Will with a grateful nod. "Thanks for helping them relax. And hey, you don't have to stay if you have some other plans tonight, Will."

Will stares back at his Progeny with a faux, scandalous look on his face, complete with a hand on his chest. "Why, Vincent, where would I be anywhere but here? It's not every day that I get to see you humbled by your lover. Don't think I forget that you were once known as the Playboy of the Solaire Clan."

Shock looks good on Vincent's face. It's cute that he actually forgot how he was before Lovely walks into his life. Oh, Will is going to milk this for all its worth.

"Alright! The system is set up!" Lovely announce from near the TV with a microphone in their hand. "Will, come on! You need to help me prove that Vincent sings like a dying cat. Here, here!"

"Oi, oi! We haven't even started yet!" Vincent rebuke and flits over to grab the spare microphone. "You know what, Lovely? I'm so confident that I'll win this that I'll let you go first."

Lovely grins viciously and accepts his offer. Once Will makes himself comfortable on the couch and signals for them to begin, Lovely open their mouth,

Will couldn't stop smiling as Lovely sings their heart out, and Vincent makes his grand entrance after they're done (singing one of Will's favourite songs in hopes to sway his Sire to his side). Vincent and Lovely are having the time of their life, teasing one another as they sing. Will commits this night into one of his most cherished memories.

*"Dari apa yang aku perhatikan

Manusia mahu senang tapi tak semua mahu berkorban

Dari apa yang mereka katakan

Ada yang jawab jujur tapi selebihnya kuat beralasan..."

However, as the night grows long, Will doesn't have the heart to tell them that they both are horrible singers.

-

Tonight, it's Sam's turn. Will deliver three knocks on his door before Sam swings it open. He looks exhausted, unamused and seconds away from running out of the house.  

"Good evening, Sam."

"Good evening, William. Before you come in, can I ask why my Progenies insist on having a karaoke competition tonight? On the night where they knew you were coming?"

Will begins to smile widely. Both he and Sam could hear a heated argument between Frederick and Bright Eyes from the living room.

"No, you can't sing Bambi, Bright Eyes. I won't allow it! You're going to break the windows!"

"Oh my god, would you let me live, Freddy!?"

"We've been over this; you can't sing! Wait. What are you - put down that microphone - "

Music starts to play at maximum volume, and then,

Sam closed his eyes and sighed deeply and in resignation when Bright Eyes began to sing louder to drown out Frederick's shrieking.

**“Feel it like memalla itteon mam wiro

seumyeodeun danbi

dabi piryo eopji

Because you’re my favourite..."

"I don't know what had happened - and I honestly don't want to know - but I hope you're ready to deal with these two tonight."  

"Why, Sam, where would I be anywhere but here?"

-

These are the English translations & link to the songs that Lovely and Bright Eyes were singing: 

*“From what I can see

People want the good life, but are not willing to sacrifice

From what I hear

Some are honest but others are full of excuses...”

**“Feel it like timely rain that seeps into my dry heart

No other answer is needed

Because you’re my favorite...”

[sukipershipper]

Her Suffering is Ensured

Alcina almost never left the castle, only ever if Miranda needed her, but that was the only time she didn’t want to be consumed by the cold. So it wasn’t very often she got to interact with the other lords, unless they came to the castle, which was almost never. Heisenberg never came around unless it was to drop off food, other than that he couldn’t stand the place, understandably so. Donna was never a frequent visitor, she felt very out of place in that castle. Then there was Moreau.

Moreau came around the most, often to drop off vials of medicine that he could whip up (he might be deformed but he’s still proficient in his work), sometimes he hung around for a it of a chat and some food, Alcina often ranted to him about what was going on with her and Heisenberg. Moreau? Well he never liked to complain but he’d ask if he was worth anything to the others, to which Alcina merely stayed quiet and would light one of her long cigarettes. That was all the answer Moreau would ever need.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like him, Moreau was often the nicest to her daughters, spoiling them with gifts and whatever treasures he could find. It was more or less worry or disappointment, worry that he would get himself hurt, and disappointment at the fact Miranda ruined him like that. He had potential but it wasted to try and satisfy herself, and the worst part was that Moreau let her get away with it. Moreau let her take advantage of him, it was sad to say the least.

But such was life and neither could change it now.

The cold air outside blew onto her suddenly, she tucked her arms into her sides to prevent the cold getting her more, she looked to see Moreau standing outside, the poor soul shivering like there was no tomorrow, and his drenched coat (presumably drenched from the reservoir) wouldn’t be keeping him very warm now.

“Stop standing outside you fool, get in!” Alcina demanded, without another thought, the younger lord quickly obeyed, dashing inside as quick as his legs would allow him to go. Moreau let the warmth of the castle embrace him, despite its size and haunting nature, Alcina’s home was quite warm and inviting.

Alcina quickly slammed the door shut and turned to the younger lord, “How bad is it?” Alcina asked, Moreau sighed and slowly took his coat off himself, revealing his back cover with pus filled boils and tumours, eyes poking out of every crevice and a small green acid dripping off the sides. A small droplet fell off and onto Moreau’s skin, causing him to wince in pain.

The Lady could only grimace and hold back tears at the sight she saw, Moreau was getting worse by the hour, but he refused to dwell on it any longer. Tossing his coat aside, he stood still for a bit, staring at the ground in front of him, “How have the girls been?” He asked.

Alcina nodded, “They’ve been good, better now that their favourite uncle has arrived” she smiled, Moreau gave a chuckle as he heard the chittering of bugs flying around, suddenly forming into three slightly older than teenage girls. “Uncle Sal!” They cried, the three dashing towards Moreau in a haste, only for Alcina to raise her hand to slow them down. “Girls be gentle”, Alcina warned, “I’m afraid your uncle isn’t all too well”, “What’s wrong with him?” Cassandra, one of the older daughters, asked (if I got this wrong please tell me).

Moreau only shrugged and laughed, “Oh, it’s nothing” he said, only to wince in pain and hold onto his sides, scaring the girls slightly. The man then looked up and gave a slight laugh, “Don’t worry about me”, he said, “I’ve got gifts for you three.”

With that, he pulled out a little burlap sack from his pocket and opened it to reveal three necklaces of different coloured shells and pearls. Blue for Bela, Purple for Daniela and Yellow for Cassandra.

The three girls all smiled in delight as they gently placed the necklaces around their necks, all marvelling at its beauty. “I hope you like them” Moreau said, “They’re a little hastily made”, “Oh, Uncle they’re perfect!” Bela said, Daniela nodded happily, “Absolutely wonderful!”

The three girls all gently wrapped their arms around their uncle, “Now what do you say, girls?” Alcina asked, “Thank you!” The three girls replied in unison. Both lords chuckled, Alcina smiling and shaking her head “Alright, now off to the kitchens please, make something up for your uncle”, “Oh don’t fuss over me, I won’t eat much” Moreau chimed in, only for Dimitrescu to shoot him a look, “Salvatore Antonio Moreau, I insist you have something to eat, have your fill dear brother” she said. Moreau had to laugh a little, using his own words from their story against him.

The girls soon disappeared as quickly as they appeared, leaving only the two lords still in the main hall. “Come, Salvatore” Alcina said, taking long strides towards the sitting room of the castle, “Sit down and talk to me”, “Of course, Alcina” Moreau said, trying his best to sit down in one of Alcina’s chairs, though it was a struggle due to his back.

Alcina soon brought a backless seat, “Here, take this one” she offered. Moreau graciously accepted, sitting down as best he could, though he still felt a pain surge throughout his body. As he tried to redirect the source of his pain, he found himself unable to hold it in anymore.

“Bucket” he mumbled, Alcina was confused, “I’m sorry?”, “BUCKET!” he cried.The Lady soon realized what he meant as The younger lord held his sides and began to curl his body over in pain. Alcina grabbed the nearest bucket she could find, which happened to not be a bucket at all and more an old jewellery box that she never used.

Moreau snatched it and spewed, the acid burning his mouth slightly. Once he finished he tucked the box Away under his coat, “I'll...get rid of that when I go” he said, “I’ve never had that much though”, “That’s not normal?” Alcina asked, trying her best not to look at the bubbly acid in her now ruined jewellery box.

“No, it usually happens in spurts, just little spits…” Moreau said, holding his sides again as he felt like he was about to collapse at any moment. Alcina sighed, “It’s getting worse,Mother Miranda had one job and she fucked it up!” she yelled, “You don’t deserve to live like this”, “Don’t say that…” Moreau said, groggily, trying to regain his balance, “...besides...I won’t need to live any longer…”

The Tall Mistress stared at her brother in shock, what the heck was that meant to mean? It took her a while but soon she put the pieces together…and she wasn’t fond of the results. “No…” she whispered, before standing up, “No! No! NO! You can’t be!”, “Alcina...I’m dying” Moreau answered, his head down the entire time.

“My Cadou is getting worse by the second and my mutated self keeps coming out against my will...I don’t have control of it” Moreau said, “I’m feeling myself get weaker every day...I-I don’t want to go, Alcie” The younger lord then let a small stream of tears flow down his cheeks as he tried to hide his face.

Alcina shook her head and screamed, “I CAN’T ALLOW THIS! THERE HAS GOT TO BE ANOTHER WAY!”, “Alcie! I was gifted with FOUR Cadou! There is no way to save me!” Moreau cried. Alcina couldn’t bear the idea of losing who she considered a wonderful brother, especially not to something that was meant to bring about joy for him. Something that was meant to help him, ended up being his demise...she couldn’t stand the thought.

The mistress went to kneel down to meet her brother for a hug, but instead she saw Moreau do something she hadn’t seen him do in a long time. The younger lord took a deep breath and straightened up his back. It was painful, as to be expected when you have a massive parasitic growth on your back, but he managed. Soon Alcina found herself being lunged at, her younger sibling wrapping his arms around her in a hug.

The Lady smiled and allowed tears to fall down her face as she hugged back. “I promise you, Moreau” she spoke softly, holding the younger lords head close to her, “I will make sure Mother Miranda pays for what she did to you, even if it’s not me who does it, I will ensure you that she suffers the consequences.”

[mindofharry]

in which you and grayson find yourself in the most absurd situation.

set in the 1800s, based on bridgerton.

a little bit of everything!! enjoy - feedback welcome as always! <3

“so, let me get this right, your grace”

“it’s grayson” he interrupted clearing his throat as you both promenaded along the river, your mama and his aunt following behind.

“you want us to pretend to court? may i speak freely, grayson” you asked looking up, grayson rolled his and nodded, loaning you were going to speak to him whatever way you wanted with or without his permission.

“we have nothing in common. and i do not like your manners and the way you treat me and others around you” you rambled looking around at the people, also promenading and looking for potiental suitors.

You also noticed how the men were gazing at you in a way you’ve never seen before. Like you were a prize, the feeling didn’t feel good, it felt as if you were some trophy.

But you guessed that is all what women are to certain men, a trophy they can win and put up high in their house. sometimes you didn’t feel opposed to being someone’s trophy, but with the duke beside you, that feeling never came. All that came was disgust and wanting to cover up your body even more than your mother already made you.

“do forgive me if i’m wrong, but have you the way the suitors have been looking at you, and all we’ve done is look at eachother and smile a few times” grayson said, moving his hand over towards the group of men to prove his point.

“you’re a duke, grayson. I’m not yet prepared enough for that” you say and he nodded, obviously agreeing.

“that’s why courting exists, and i’ve seen how impatient your mama is. It might get her off your back for a little bit. You have a little more time to properly talk with the pointer suitors.” grayson argued, stopping infront of you.

“so this is a rouse then?” you asked placing your un opened umbrella infront of you, leaning your hands on it. Grayson nodded and stepped a little closer, your breathe hitched as you felt his breathe close to your face. “an agreement if you will. you get more time, i don’t have any mama’s trying to wed their daughters to me. It’s a win win.” he said trying to convince you.

“it’s not like we’ll actually get married. tell your mama you’re leaving your options open, or tell her you’re madly in love with me” he teased earning a slap on the arm from you and wide grin. he looked around and smirked.

“so are we in agreement?”

“i think we are”

/

Soon enough people started noticing you and grayson together — more people meaning more potential suitors for you. your drawing room was filled with men and your papa was not one bit happy about it, and suprisingly neither was your mama.

They had both taken a liking to grayson.

You weren’t sure if it was his charm or because of his title, but nevertheless they were set on you and him courting for more than a week. you even overheard your mother talking to the head maid about a wedding sometime in the spring.

A wedding in the spring sounded superb.

A wedding with grayson in the spring sounded traumatic.

“Grayson” you asked both of you sat beside each other, eating a rather delicious piece of cake. Grayson even bought the most expensive one, just for the both of you. That rather impressed you, you admit.

“Y/N” he mocked leaning back in the seat.

“I’d like to know you a little better. I mean, i know your name, your title and that you have a twin brother. That is all, your grace”

“just how i like it to be” grayson replied. Grayson was rather young when he became the duke, his brother didn’t want this life (grayson had to be the bigger person). The stress of being a duke, has made him sour and cold, and not up for anything to do with marriage. If he was ever to marry he’s sure it would be the most awful thing to come to his short life. He doesn’t understand what the fuss is all about, if you love someone, why do you have to go through all of the dramatics, surely just saying it enough?

Grayson didn’t understand the fascination and he’s not sure he ever will.

“Well, what’s your favourite colour?” you asked earning, a loud laugh. you smiled at the sound, it was nice to see him smiling for once. You knew he had it rough, so you could take the coldness and moodiness if this it was came out at some points of the time you guys are ‘courting’.

“It’s green. like forest green. It’s a dark but rather happy green”

“just like you, grayson” you added, grayson raised any brow making you blush “i just met, that you seem rather broody and dark but once you actually sit down and talk you’re a very warm man” you rambled. God, you were just trying to make some sort of conversation and your witty comebacks were not helping you.

“Let’s get you back home, shall we?”

you frowned standing up, you saw the governorness walking slowly behind you both. even though you were very much out in the open, you still had to be chaperoned, a part you hated very much.

“forgive me, your grace. I didn’t mean to be so rude” you say touching his hand ever so lightly. Grayson cleared his throat shaking his head “never mind that. shall we finish the game of 20 questions?” he teased, easing the butterflies in your stomach.

“my brother is called ethan. Smart man. Married last spring. I still don’t understand how i’m the duke, the man is quite smart and orderly. And a sister Cameron, who moved to the country with her family some years back” he said you nodding and listening very carefully.

“I think you’re quite smart, grayson.” you smiled, you reached home a lot quicker than expected. And for some reason, you wished he would ask you out again.

“Hmm. Have a good evening, y/n”

And with that the duke left, only you and your governorness. “i think he’d make a great husband” your governorness, anna, whispered.

“yeah. i do too”

/

You were in the drawing room playing piano when the duke was announced.

“Lady Y/L/N, The duke of jersey”

you turned around to see the duke, your parents bowing and praising every move grayson took. you stood from the piano and met grayson halfway.

you smiled and bowed “your grace” you teased earning a laugh. you looked behind grayson and saw the smiles on your parents face and the nod the both gave you before sitting back down.

“i came here to formally invite you and your family to the ball i’m hosting.” he said his hands becoming weirdly sweaty and his heart beating rapidly awaiting your answer.

you looked magnificent today, you hair was up in braids and your dress was simple but beautiful. The necklace that adorned on your neck was something he wished he bought you himself, it looked rather beautiful on you. Grayson had to remind himself numerous times during the two weeks you have been courting that it’s not real, that this will end soon and you will both go seperate ways. But a part of him wants to just pretend it’s real, he wants you to look at him the way you do without any agreement or rouse.

but of course, that would never happen.

you were both too different, he was a duke for christ sake. It just wouldn’t work out. So he pushed those feelings deep, deep down. And hopefully they’d never reappear, like they are doing right now.

“oh, of course! i’d never say no to a ball!” you squealed, your mother cleared her throat to remind you of your manners.

“forgive me. It would be an honour”

“I was thinking i could buy you a dress? Go to the tailors, pick out anything and i’ll get it for you” he said, grayson insisted on spoiling you. Buying you flowers and now dresses, your mother thought it was sweet, you did too. But it was very unnecessary, you didn’t want him wasting his savings on you.

“Oh! my grace, i couldn’t ask that of you”

“i’m buying and that’s it” he smiled bringing your hand up to his lips, making your breathe hitch and your heart speed up.

“see you there, y/n”

/

The next couple of days were spent preparing for the ball and of course accompanying you in picking a gown. He never actually knew how much went into making and choosing a gown, he’d never speak bad about shopping how, he was exhausted.

“i like you better, grayson” you say browsing the fabrics. Grayson snorted causing some of the people around him to stare.

“and why is that?” he asked leaning against the wall as you picked out a few fabrics. It was honestly quite relaxing seeing you in your element. It made him happy to see you happy.

“you’re more open. you smile” you grinned looking over at him “and i must say you’re manners are magnificent, your grace” she giggled making grayson shake his head. “you’re strange” he mumbled, his heart doing that weird thing again, and this time he doesn’t push those feelings away, he lets them stay. And it feels pretty good.

“how many dances should we have tonight? i think two should suffice” you mumble looking up at your ‘suitor’. You wished it was real, there, you had admitted. you wanted to know what his lips felts like and his felt like without gloves. you wondered what he was like early in the morning and late in the evening. what he had on sundays and did he ever eat too much he was sick? all these questions would be answered if you just admitted your feelings, but no, you knew grayson did not want to marry.

And sadly, you don’t think you’d be an exception.

“Not too worry, my lady. I’ll take these from you. My grace” the lady bowed taking the fabrics from y/n.

“i shall have this complete in no time, i have your measurements and such, so i only need you to try it on again”

You had already tried on the main part of the dress, but you wanted some sparkly fabric to add to it and maybe a bow. It was just last minute (anxiety induced) details, you wanted to add before the ball.

“thank you so much. we’ll be back in an hour”

“i don’t know how you do it” grayson said as you put your arm around his. “well, i like to shop, i like design” you smile “it’s quite fun actually.”

grayson thinks it’s quite fun too.

“I can feel the glare of your governess. how about some miniatures?” grayson asked getting a smile out of you. you nodded “that sounds lovely, grayson”.

/

The ball looks so amazing, it’s not like anything you’ve ever been to before.

There’s chandeliers and lights everywhere and the paintings are the most magnificent things you’ve ever seen, why had grayson been hiding such an extraordinary home from you? You could love in this room, ignoring the massive castle the duke resided in. This room was something you could only wished you could pull off when you finally marry.

Maybe, one day, you sighed.

“why the long face, ms Y/L/N?” a voice called out, making you turn around with a grin.

grayson looked just as beautiful as the lights and paintings, dare you say handsome. Something about the way his hair feel and his skin glimmered did something to you.

Grayson could say the same about you — god, your smile and the way your eyes lit up just for him was nearly enough for him to propose on the spot. Your hair was done up, but grayson just wanted to run his hands through it and head you sigh in complete relaxation.

“No frown. The ball is so beautiful, your grace” you say bowing causing grayson to laugh.

“Come with me, i have something you might like”

The duke dragged you out of the room ignoring the looks of mamas and debutants. He pulled you into what you could only describe as some sort of exhibit. Paintings adorned all over the walls and a fire place right in the middle of the wall. This had to be your favourite room thus far — excluding where the ball is taking place. The paintings were absolutely extraordinary and somehow even with a handsome duke beside you, you couldn’t take your eyes from them.

“My mother painted most of these — i think all, forgive me if i’m incorrect” grayson started moving to a beautiful painting off the sky. “She used to go to this cottage every summer, she brought me down last year when i became the duke. I painted with her and we talked. She’s extraordinary at art a shame my father never let her sell any or earn any money” he said with a shaky breathe. “She died this fall, along with my father. So these are the only things i have as a reminder of her, or of them. My sister took all of their belongings for safe keeping. Ethan does not care too much. I wish i was trusted more” grayson admitted, basically knocking the wind out of you.

You knew his parents had died, but you never knew how much hurt he still felt. Of course, thinking back that was such a stupid thought. His parents had died one after the other, leaving such a young duke behind.

“Your mother is very extraordinary indeed. Just like you” you say getting a smile out of the duke. “i must say the clouds and the river one must be my favourite.” you say easing the tension.

grayson nodded in agreement.

You turn to the duke, only now realising how close you actually were. “i trust you. a lot more than i should, my grace.” you whispered looking up at him, a flush appearing in your cheeks.

“i wish i had gotten to know you sooner” he admitted making your breathe hitch. “i wish i never came up with this agreement. i wish i just asked you to marry me then and there. Because you are the smartest, most beautiful woman i have ever had to privilege of meeting”

your eyes filled up with tears, as grayson held your hand. He started to pull down the sleeve of your glove, you eyes widening but there was no objecting. You felt your glove fall down the ground and the duke big, soft hand take its place.

“We will be married”

“And you will be my dutchess”

[the--highlanders]

1. “I need you.”

on ao3.

“Isn’t it funny.” Shifting to put her back against the arm of the sofa, Polly swung her legs up to plant them across Jamie’s lap. She prodded at him with one socked foot, and he huffed, holding out the bowl of who-knew-what so she could take a handful. It was a bit like popcorn, she had said, which might have been helpful if he had even the vaguest idea of what popcorn was. “That when I go home, if I wait long enough, this movie will come out. And I’ll already know what happens.”

“Mm.” Polly’s hand was reaching over to the bowl again, and Jamie shoved her aside idly to take a handful for himself. Glancing down at the green and blue and purple pebbles, he closed his palm around them rather than shoving them in his mouth straight away. They were good, Polly had said, but he had not yet mustered the courage to take a bite himself, even after half the movie. If Polly had noticed, he told himself bracingly, she would have been teasing him about it by now. “Ye could tell everyone what happens.”

Polly snorted. “As if they’d believe me.”

“They’d believe ye after they saw it, though.”

“I suppose.” The smile slowly faded from Polly’s face as she turned back to the screen, absorbing herself in the movie again. Jamie wrenched his gaze back towards it too, but somehow even the bright flashing lights of the spaceships and their blinking missiles couldn’t quite hold his attention. Maybe, he thought, it would be more exciting to someone in Polly’s time, who had not seen space battles unfold in reality. It was certainly much showier than most of the spaceship fights he had seen, but it was somehow all the sillier for it.

“What if,” Polly started again, “I wanted to watch the movie?”

“We are watchin’ it,” Jamie said, grinning. “Did ye forget?”

She swiped at him, almost knocking his handful of pebbles out of his tightly-closed fingers. “I know that,” she said. “I mean when I go home. It’ll be years before I can rewatch it.”

“Do ye like it all that much?”

“That’s not the point.” But she did not seem particularly keen to elaborate, sinking back into watching the screen. Somehow it had flicked over to a sort of duel with bright, colourful swords that thudded rather than clashed against each other, but he was even more distracted than he had been before, hardly able to tear his eyes away from Polly’s face.

“Ye keep talkin’ about – about when ye go home,” he said, so softly that his words were barely audible over the humming and bashing of the swords. “Like ye know you’re gonnae get there.”

“Well -” Polly tossed her head, flicking her hair out of her face. Her eyes were still fixed on the screen, but it seemed more pointed now, like she was reluctant to look at him. “Oh, I don’t know. I just keep holding out hope, I suppose.” A smile twitched at the corner of her mouth. “Ben thinks I’m silly.”

Jamie frowned. “Does he?”

“For still thinking we might get home. He thinks – oh, I don’t know if I should be telling you this. Maybe he wouldn’t want you to know.”

“That wasnae really what I was askin’, anyway.”

“Oh.” At last, Polly tore her eyes away from the screen to face him, her cheeks dusted pink. “What were you talking about, then?”

“Och, I don’t know.” It had been so clear in his mind before, but now that he had to say it aloud, it was all melting away. Almost automatically, he shoved his handful of pebbles into his mouth, regretting it only when they hit his tongue. It would buy him time, at least – but he had been thinking of trying one first, just to see whether he liked them. They were sweet, he realised, but somehow just a little salty. Not bad at all. Maybe there had been nothing to be worried about.

And then the popping started. Tiny wee explosions, all over his mouth, ricocheting up into his brain. His eyes widened, and he wondered if he should spit the pebbles out into his hand – but suppose they started exploding in his hand, too? Or what if he swallowed them, and they kept fizzing away in his stomach forever? He couldn’t just let them sit there in his mouth, bouncing and crackling away - but what could he do?

His face must have been a sight, because Polly was laughing, taking another handful of pebbles from the bowl herself. “Enjoying them?” she asked, tossing a few into her mouth. All Jamie could do was boggle his eyes at her, and she laughed harder. “It’s alright, it goes away.”

He could only hope she was right. Clenching his fists against the fabric of the sofa, he swallowed the pebbles, wincing as he felt them slide down his throat. You were meant to wait for them to dissolve, he supposed, or else chew them up, though he had thought of neither of those things in his hurry to get rid of the popping feeling. Polly was still laughing, and he scowled at her – his second mistake. He should have known that would only make her laugh harder and longer.

It took several minutes for her to catch her breath enough to speak again. The movie had carried on to another sword fight, green smashing against red, and Jamie doubted either of them had any idea of what was going on. Wiping away tears, Polly wheezed out, “oh, I needed that.”

“Aye, well. Good.” She seemed happy enough, now. Should he really spoil it by carrying on asking questions? He could always have another handful of pebbles if she got too upset, he supposed. That seemed to have worked well enough. Glancing down at his palm, he saw that it was stained blue and green and purple from clutching at the things for so long. “I just mean – ye sound very sure that ye want tae leave.”

He had never dreamed that – well, that they would want to. Maybe it seemed obvious to them, but he had simply never thought about it.

Sure enough, Polly’s next words were, “don’t you?”

“No.” The word all but fell out of him of its own accord. It was so terribly obvious - or at least, he had thought it was. “I like it here.”

“But don’t you ever want to -” Leaning forward, she snatched up a pillow from behind her to clutch it against her chest. “Well, to go back?”

“No’ really, no.”

Polly’s baffled expression slowly turned to horror, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. “Oh, Jamie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t think – I don’t suppose you can go back, can you? After everything?”

If he was honest with himself, Jamie had hardly been thinking about – everything. Everything was a good way of putting it. “Och, no, I didnae mean that.” There was always a chance, he supposed, that his home would be nothing but a pile of cinders, if he went back there. And the place was bound to be crawling with redcoats, anyway. Still, without the Doctor, he would have had no choice but to take that chance. “I mean – I suppose I did, a wee bit. But even if it weren’t for – everythin’ – I dinnae think I’d want to.” Polly looked so much like he had grown an extra head that he was tempted to reach up to his shoulders and check. “I’m happy here.”

“You mean -” She was still looking like she could not entirely swallow it. Like he must be trying to play a joke on her. “You don’t think of going home at all?”

He shrugged. “No’ really. I mean, I miss it. But no’ like I’d want tae go back.”

Polly had talked about going home so often. And Ben, too. Just casually, but always with a sort of certainty. When I go home. When I get back. When I see them again. And every time, he had thought they were joking, or at least exaggerating. Silly of him, really.

“Ye really meant it, then,” he said. “When ye were talkin’ about the movie. Ye really think ye might see it in your own time, someday.”

“I -” Polly looked less certain now, picking at a loose thread on the edge of the cushion. Her head was bent so far down that her fringe fell over her eyes, but Jamie could just barely see her lips pursed in thought. “I don’t know, really. I mean, it’s not like we ever know where we’re going to land. We might never get back to Earth again, let alone somewhere remotely close to nineteen sixty-six. But I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a part of me that believes we’ll get back.”

“Oh.” He had expected to feel – something. Crushed, maybe. Heartbroken, even. But he just felt a terrible emptiness, the horror of not quite believing something wasn’t a dream. It had to be. Polly and Ben missed their home, of course they did. That wasn’t news to him. But he had known… or assumed, really, that travelling with the Doctor more than made up for it, as it did for him. “I need ye,” he said quietly, not quite knowing whether or not he wanted Polly to hear him. “An’ Ben. I need ye both. I don’t know what I’d do without ye.”

“You have the Doctor,” Polly said, just as quietly. Their voices were all but drowned out by the movie, but neither of them were really paying attention to it anymore, the sound fading away into the background. The heavy thing between them had dulled it down well enough. “And you’re more than capable of looking after yourself.”

Jamie scoffed at that. “I want ye, then. I want ye both here. ‘Cause if ye leave – there’s no knowin’ if we’ll ever see each other again. An’ I don’t want that.”

“You could always -” Polly paused. “Stay with us. If we left. You’d be welcome.”

Don’t make me choose between you and the Doctor, Jamie wanted to say. I can’t do that. But he could do that, more easily than he cared to admit. He loved Ben and Polly dearly, of course he did, how could he not – but he knew where he would stay, if push came to shove. And it was not with them. “We dinnae know if it’s going tae happen,” was all he said in the end. “Like ye said. We don’t know where we’re going tae land.” It might never happen. They might carry on just as they had been, perfectly happily, and he could pretend this conversation had just been a dream, an idle fantasy. It was all he could hope.

But was it selfish to hope, when Polly’s smile had so quickly turned small and sad? Was it selfish to want to keep the four of them together, when Ben and Polly wanted to go home?

“Oh, I suppose you're right,” Polly said softly, more to herself than to him. “It might never happen.”

[merryfortune]

little potplants

Written for 100ships on Dreamwidth

Prompt #61 Green

Ship: Saviorshipping | Ryoken/Spectre/Yusaku

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS

Word Count: 2,458

Rating: T

Warnings: No Warnings Apply

Tags:  Fluff, Established Relationship, Polyamory

AN: this is a very silly and dramatic fic about chia pets

   Yusaku had finally gotten what he had wanted. What he wanted was Ryoken’s love and companionship. It just so happened that what Yusaku wanted came with one stipulation. One very Spectre shaped stipulation.

   Once more, Yusaku gave all his heart, as shackled by chains and scarred as it was, to Ryoken and rather than spurn him, Ryoken accepted it. And once more, Yusaku conveyed the hope that Ryoken had given him all those years ago and it made Ryoken sigh heavily. Though it was a lonely place, there was one more who sided with Ryoken on the side of that chasm than just Yusaku: that person was Spectre, who had pledged all his soul to Ryoken. Ryoken refused to let Spectre slip to the wayside so he gave Yusaku an ultimatum: both of them or neither of them.

   Yusaku didn’t have to hesitate. He thought of what Ai had taught him: to love people, not just one person and though Spectre was… quirky, to be polite about it, Yusaku would try not to mind. He recalled his duel with Lightning and the fervour in which spectre had duelled, his clever plays and the peculiar beauty of his aesthetics. Though they had treated each other poorly, at best, in each other’s duel, Spectre had been inspired most gallantly because of Yusaku so, he would try to get along with Spectre, if only for Ryoken.

   Thus, if Yusaku and Ryoken were prisoners of fate, then it would not be allowed by Ryoken’s decree that Spectre would be the warden of such a miserable, if romantic, declaration. Yusaku accepted that. He and Spectre, on the surface, did not appear to have much in common but they did have one thing at least: they had both loved Ryoken for ten years.

   However, the practice was much different to the theory and to the dramatic highs of this relationship. In practice, it was much, much more awkward.

   The mode of the relationship - or relationships, more accurately - was rather distant. Yusaku was not yet ready to move out of his apartment and with both Ryoken and Spectre. It would be inconvenient to him as he had returned to going school and their mansion was hardly close to campus and their cruiser liner was even further away. So, mostly their kisses and conversations were through text messages and video calls. It was probably for the best as they all needed to go slowly in the beginnings of this three-way relationships.

   But once in a while, the stars aligned for them to meet up either in the meat space or in the Link VRAINS. It wasn’t as rare as an eclipse but it was easy to miss. Sometimes Ryoken came round to Cafe Nagi for his usual hot dog, sometimes with Spectre in tow, sometimes not. 

   Other times, they crossed each others’ paths in the digital world. With Ai back, Yusaku wanted to bring back the other Ignis. The Knights of Hanoi were not hindering this mission of Yusaku but out of professionalism and their commitment to atonement, they weren’t helping him either. Ryoken refused to spoil Yusaku like that but Spectre was quietly pleased with the sentiment that one day, possibly one day soon if he was lucky, he might get to meet Earth properly.

   But whilst Ryoken consistently made Yusaku feel welcome and warm, with every greeting to every message or happenstance, it made the contrary all the more apparent to Yusaku. Spectre was not quite so open. Ryoken was reserved but in what moments of privacy he and Yusaku had together, they usually began or ended with Ryoken kissing Yusaku on the cheek. Spectre was not nearly as affectionate. Or verbal. And it was increasingly making Yusaku worry about whether or not having what he wanted was worth it.

   Perhaps Spectre was not quite as gungho about sharing Ryoken than Ryoken had been willing to bet. Of course, Spectre didn’t utter a single complaint; he followed this order like he did any other order but there was a detached coldness whenever he rubbed shoulders with Yusaku which, whilst infrequent, was still quite noticeable. 

   So, shyly, Yusaku did ask about it eventually, “Are you sure Spectre likes me?” he asked in a tiny voice.

   He rang Ryoken and made sure Ryoken was alone. Ryoken had high - even salacious - hopes for this but Yusaku’s question did catch him off guard. He had somewhat expected it. He had noticed the standoffishness that Spectre emanated whenever it was all three of them or some combination thereof.

   “Yes, I’m sure.” Ryoken replied. He sounded very understanding about it but Yusaku still chewed his lip.

   “Are you certain?” Yusaku insisted.

   “Yes, I’m sure.” Ryoken replied again and Yusaku could hear the patient smile in his voice. “I can prove it.”

   “How?” Yusaku asked flatly.

   “Spectre and I’ll drop around tomorrow. We can bring groceries around and have dinner together for once, doesn’t that sound nice?” Ryoken mused.

   “Yeah, it does…” Yusaku murmured, entirely unconvinced that one evening together would be enough to prove or sway the pendulum that he was worried about.

   “We’ll come around about an hour after you would get out of school, does that work for you?” asked Ryoken.

   “It does.” Yusaku told him.

   “Good, see you then, so… until then, bye, I love you.” Ryoken said.

   Yusaku blushed as he replied, “Bye, I love you, too.”

   The line went silent and Yusaku was still entirely convinced that Spectre did not like him and would never like him. It was an unusual feeling for him but acknowledging that did little to alleviate the horrible feeling in his guts. It was like the exact opposite of having butterflies in his stomach, it was more like having elephants. It was awful. Spectre was awful, too, but he seemed an entirely different person outside of the Link VRAINS despite very much wearing the same face.

   The following day went as smooth as high school could go for anyone. There were assessments and social blunders but nothing particularly gruesome. Yusaku even managed to have some spotty and bland conversations with both Shima and Aoi at different points of the day but he very much wanted to take them over Ryoken and Spectre. He was still very concerned as to how his date this evening would go as he could only imagine it as going disastrously.

   He returned home and got ready for his date. Ai was very happy about it. Yusaku hadn’t even wanted to tell Ai about this date or any of the worries that he had over in the knightdom of Hanoi but unfortunately for him, this triadic relationship had become Ai’s favourite to invest in. There wasn’t a single secret Yusaku could keep around Ai anymore and Ai relished in that. He cheered Yusaku on as he put himself through the shower and got into his best clothes. Not that Yusaku needed the encouragement but given how wracked his nerves were, he couldn’t say it wasn’t appreciated.

   His hair was still damp when Yusaku heard his doorbell ring. Ai gave him a big thumbs up from his perch on Yusaku’s desk where his duel disc was his throne and Yusaku weakly smiled back. With Yusaku’s laptop nearby, Ai was content to surf the ‘net and binge sketchy cartoons all night and therefore, wouldn’t disrupt or otherwise cause warfare downstairs on his date.

   Yusaku smiled shakily as he opened his front door and he immediately noticed that he was out-dressed by both Ryoken and Spectre, “Hey,” he said, “I’m glad the two of you could make it.”

   “It's our pleasure.” Ryoken assured him.

  He reached out to Yusaku and cupped his hands whilst kissing his cheek. Yusaku smiled but he glanced towards Spectre who was trying his best to blend in with the cityscape behind him. He was holding onto a small box and had a cloth tote bag slung over his shoulders.

   Ryoken pulled back and Yusaku stepped aside. He let both his partners inside and he felt a flush of embarrassment regarding his apartment given how basic it was. To say nothing of the great big cracks in the walls and other flaws but neither Ryoken nor Spectre ever said a bad word about it. They merely came inside and made themselves at home.

   Spectre placed the tote bag on the counter and Yusaku curiously approached. He couldn’t help but wonder if there was a magic item inside of it to make him and Spectre get along better was inside of it but from just a sneak peak, all Yusaku could really see was the ingredients to make curry. However, they were very premium ingredients.

   “How mild or spicy do you like your curry?” Spectre asked since Yusaku had taken interest; he was still holding onto that little box.

   “I don’t really care.” Yusaku said, shrugging. “Surprise me.”

   “Okay then.” Spectre said and his hand clenched slightly.

   Ryoken, who had sat down at the table as Yusaku had meagrely put out a pitcher of cold water and cups, cleared his throat. Spectre made an annoyed noise.

   “I have something for you as well.” Spectre said and his expression was difficult to read. “Here.”

   He shoved the box into Yusaku’s possession and he blinked.

   “For you.” Spectre clarified.

   “Okay then.” Yusaku replied and he decided he wanted to sit down to open the box which, now that it was in his hands, looked bigger than before and the contents was emptier than he imagined.

   They were all sitting at the table now; Spectre sat with Ryoken, who had an arm around Spectre, cuddly, and Yusaku sat across from both. He had set the box down and began to undo the bow atop of it. It wasn’t gift wrapped, it just so happened to have a fancy, mint green facade to it and was donned with a translucent yellowy-coloured ribbon. He pulled it apart and took the lid off the box.

   Spectre watched very intently as Yusaku did this. His stare was stern and in total contrast to how playfully Ryoken watched him. Ryoken, meanwhile, had a smirk like a cat on his face and both made Yusaku feel a grand pressure to like whatever was in the box. He reached in and he wasn’t entirely sure what he pulled out. 

   There were three of them, though. All made from terracotta but were in the shape of little animals: a cat, a goat, and a hedgehog. They were cute but useless, Yusaku thought as he inspected the goat. He noticed it had a hole in its back and the hole was filled with something dark that he didn’t recognise inside of a crinkly, whitish sachet.

   “What are they?” he asked.

   “Chia pets.” Ryoken stated simply. “It means he likes you.”

   “I don’t really get it…” Yusaku murmured as he set down the goat with a clink in favour of looking at the cat. Though, knowing it was likely seeds inside of those sachets inside of the little terracotta animals did make slightly more sense.

   “They represent us.” Spectre murmured. “You’re the cat, I’m the goat, and Ryoken-sama is the hedgehog. When Ryoken-sama and I were little, he gave me some chia pets and I still have them. They are very beloved to me and my collection of plants. Ryoken-sama thought it would be a good idea if I shared that with you and I agreed. Good things come in threes with you two, don’t they?”

   “Oh.” Yusaku mumbled and he surprised himself by getting misty eyed at hearing that. The way he was holding onto the cat shaped chia pet changed, it now had a very treasured purpose to it. He couldn’t be flippant with such a precious gift now, could he?

   Ryoken smiled, pleased with himself.

   “I’m still getting my bearings with all of this. I apologise if we haven’t been on the best of terms but that’s not my intention. But you are important to Ryoken-sama and therefore, important to me. I had a prior infatuation with you but I don’t want that, I want something more stable than that for you since you are very serious about Ryoken-sama and his feelings, otherwise I doubt you would have bothered with making peace with me.” Spectre stiltedly explained.

   “Thank you, Spectre, I appreciate your perspective,” Yusaku said, he knew the feeling well himself, he hadn’t wanted to let a similar idealisation of Ryoken get in the way either, he squeezed the little terracotta pot, “I’ll treasure them, I promise to take good care of them.”

   “You better,” Spectre pouted, “I’ll be very cross with you if you don’t.”

   Yusaku laughed and even Ryoken was amused but he did benevolently offer, “Stop teasing him, Spectre.” he said. “Why don’t we make dinner? I feel like lunch was ages ago now with all the shopping we did to prepare.”

   “Fine by me.” Spectre relented.

   Yusaku smiled and he petted the head of his cat-shaped chia pet. He was serious about taking good care of it and especially its friends, the goat and the hedgehog. He was looking forward to seeing them grow green and fuzzy with strands upon strands of sprouted chia. He would absolutely put his three, little pot plants in a place of honour, he wasn’t quite sure yet where that place of honour would be but he was going to find it. For now, he was quite drawn to allowing them to live at the end of his dining table as it did get a little bit of sunlight and was close to a source of water but he also wouldn’t mind putting them in his room, close to him always. Decisions, decisions but for now, he would simply get up and offer his assistance in the kitchen.

    Yusaku piped up with a rather dreamy expression, “I want to help, too.”

   “Good, it would be rude to make your guests do all your cooking after all.” Spectre sniped him.

   “Very true.” Ryoken agreed.

   Yusaku made an embarrassed noise but got up with both of his partners. It was strange but he could feel that something had shifted. He felt closer to Spectre and ergo, closer to Ryoken as well, given their bond. He hoped that meant for an end of the night with a kiss from them both as well as a delicious dinner that they all helped with. It made him oddly excited and both Ryoken and Spectre noticed and relished that slight adjustment, too. So, with a little bit of luck and care, maybe not too long into the future, they could try a chia pudding for dessert after another dinner at Yusaku’s place given that tonight had gone off without a seeming hitch.

[altumvidetur]

Haikyuu!! Fic Recs (BokuAka)

Fic Recs Masterpost

So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.

Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

I’ve decided to split it in a series of posts, starting with my OTPs. This time it’s BokuAka’s turn!

cookies and cream, by norio

Some people might tell Akaashi that he couldn't bake his worries away.

But some people haven't dated Bokuto Koutarou.

dozens of red roses, by norio

“And what’s the boyfriend getting for Bokuto’s birthday?” Kuroo asked, mirthful grin on his face.

“Oh,” Akaashi said, distracted by the magazine. “The next time he visits the dentist, I’ll pay for half what the insurance doesn’t cover.”

The silence dropped around the store like a chilling and killing frost.

i put my hand out, unfolded, into the sunlight, by carafin

In which Bokuto Kotarou is woefully inept at conveying his feelings, and Akaashi Keiji has a sort-of superpower. Sort of.

-

Next to him, Komi is chewing his cupcake dutifully, albeit with obvious effort. Washio has assumed a completely neutral expression on his face, although Akaashi thinks that his eyes might be watering. Sarukui, having seemingly demolished the entire thing out of sheer willpower alone, looks like he deeply regrets every single choice that has led to this precise moment in his life.

‘It isn’t too bad, huh?’ Bokuto says, grinning. ‘I made them in our school colours, so they’re like, marbled black and white chocolate swirls! Do you guys want more?’

Sarukui looks like he might pass out at the thought alone. Komi pauses mid-chew to shake his head weakly.

‘I’ll have more,’ Akaashi says, to the general astonishment of everyone.

better than spy films, by dalyeau

Akaashi knocks Bokuto out and Bokuto falls in love. Kuroo laughs about it.

Maybe We’re Airborne, Baby, by fathomfive

Realizing he's got it bad for his setter is the easy part. But getting his feelings across might be Bokuto's biggest endeavor yet, not counting his literature final or putting out the flames on that birthday cake he tried to bake for Akaashi last year, or—or a lot of things, actually.

But the point still stands. Reaching out to Akaashi is a leap in the dark, and Bokuto wants it more than he's ever wanted anything. He's an expert at seizing his perfect moment, at bringing victory home against the odds. So he's got this, right? It's gonna go great, right? Right?

(After all, it's what you attempt with your own two hands that matters.)

heavy heart, a love apart, by drifloon

(802): Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.

Character Development, by silvercistern

"That’s some kinda gratitude. What happened to my painfully polite little brother? I get the ideal guy to take you to prom, and you act like he's not even here!"

"I doubt I’d let him take me to the hospital if I were bleeding to death."

Keiji needs a date. Bokuto needs dating lessons. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

prepare for rain, by norio

“First you must make a delicious bowl of tea; lay the charcoal so the water boils; arrange the flowers as they are in the field; in the summer suggest coolness, in the winter, warmth; do everything ahead of time; prepare for rain; and give those with whom you find yourself every consideration.”

- Sen no Rikyu

cracks in the pavement will lead you home, by deusreks

Bokuto often thinks about Akaashi, especially when he’s running. It’s like his legs know where they’re supposed to take him. He grows into a habit of running a lot, just to keep that feeling going. Cracks and holes in the pavement aren’t fun to jump over if the final reward isn’t seeing Akaashi’s face.

An alternate universe with a little bit of magic and a lot of growing up.

il mio ragazzo falso, by Karasuno Volleygays

With his grandparents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary looming fast and large, Akaashi finds himself urged to bring a date and not quite to the point where his family knows that said date will not be of the female variety.

At some point, he has to decide which will be the least frightening prospect — braving coming out to his family or endure Operation: Find Keiji A Girlfriend 2k15.

And why is the only person he can think of to drag along to this thing his overly-spirited volleyball captain?

#someonepleasesaveakaashi

right in the head, by Mysecretfanmoments

That was the other thing: when Keiji had said he wanted to make his way home, Bokuto had agreed—as if it didn’t matter where they went. He hadn’t said "we should look for a community" or "there’s probably nothing there anymore".

He’d just asked which way.

((the bokuaka zombie au literally no one asked for))

how to become a birder, by norio

“Since I’m Bokuto,” Bokuto said, giving an unnecessarily meaningful look, “You know what I want, right? It’ll be easy! You take pictures of me, I turn them in, my professor says I’m the smartest genius, I graduate, I go play pro, I win the Olympics.”

The World’s Best Kept Secret, by kythen

The struggles of keeping a relationship a secret (when it really isn't a secret at all).

third wheel, by arsenicjay

"So you and Bokuto, huh?"

Akaashi's attention snaps back to Kuroo and he gives the other boy a blank stare. "What about us?"

Or, Kuroo figures out that Bokuto is interested in Akaashi long before Bokuto does himself and being the kind friend that he is, tries to help them along.

cherished, by gabstar

Bokuto tends to panic when Akaashi expresses discomfort or concern. Akaashi didn't need that. Akaashi was better off handling this alone.

((In which Bokuto's love sick, Akaashi's sick-sick, and together they feel a little better))

Kissing Ace, by Karasuno Volleygays

It happens right after training camp.

Akaashi Keiji has a secret he has guarded since he was a child. He won’t go so far as to call it a fear, but more of an aspect of himself of which he is horribly mortified. No one on the team knows about it, and Akaashi does his best to keep it that way. But years of dodging hugs and casual contact come to naught in the blink of an eye and the swipe of a hand.

legs killed the owl, by dalyeau

He's not smiling anymore an hour later, after he's fucked up four perfect spikes that Akaashi tossed carefully for him because he's too distracted by the lean, elegant line of Akaashi's legs, kneepads dark against the white of Fukurodani's gym.

tea-stained polaroids, by dalyeau

“I'm gonna date that,” Bokuto declares solemnly, and Kuroo throws a plastic spoon at his head. 

owls, by ThinkingCAPSLOCK

It was no secret that Bokuto genuinely loved owls, considering his locker was full of them, but Akaashi kept his own like of the animal very low key.

How Bokuto found out otherwise, he didn't know.

all lost souls, by norio

Not again, Akaashi thought. But he had never seen this sight before.

run rabbit run, by norio

Rule #1: Don't hurt Akaashi. Rule #2: Don't taint Akaashi. Rule #3: Don't involve Akaashi. Rule #4: Don't damage Akaashi. Rule #5 (optional): Try not to destroy yourself.

gwah, bam and swoosh, by dalyeau

When Bokuto meets Kageyama the first thing he thinks is, No five year old should be able to scowl like that.

Or be that tall.

Then, Shit, his dad is really hot.

Spoiled, by gabstar

Akaashi desperately needs a new mattress and he drags his loyal, loving, and very loud boyfriend with him.

omam verse, by shionsheart

Though some may believe they're monsters, those closest to them know they're just men learning how to love in this world of magic, demons, and faeries.

i’ll return home one day, by awkwardedgeworth

"Bro," He asks Kuroo out of the blue one day when they're toweling their hair dry, "What if Sawamura is halfway across the world and he only comes home seven times a year for around four days each?"

"I would consider every moment a blessing. You got it bad for Akaashi already?"

"I just wish you would introduce us sooner."

Or, wherein Akaashi is a world famous violinist, Kuroo introduces him to future Olympian-to-be Bokuto Koutarou. And Bokuto pines. A lot.

morning owls, by norio

Most of the time, if Bokuto woke up first, he would shake Akaashi awake. Sometimes he would bake sloppy pancakes for breakfast in bed, and sometimes he would sit on Akaashi's waist.

And sometimes he did not.

Insomniac Olympics, by Aetherdrive

Akaashi never thought he could inspire anyone, let alone an artist -- and then he met Bokuto.

counterclockwise, by miiniwa

How they had gone from point a to point b in such a short amount of time, he doesn't know. But as he dwells on it, he realizes that he doesn't exactly mind.

if kisses were fishes, then i’d be an ocean, by norio

Akaashi needs a fake date partner, so he grabs the first person he sees.

the way you look at me, by ThinkingCAPSLOCK

Bokuto sees him every day, every commute, at the final train. The stranger he only knows as Train Guy. Wrapped in coats, mystery, and distance - that is, until Bokuto breaks their familiar silence. He struggles with the hardest part of befriending someone he thinks he already knows: taking a step back to reevaluate all his assumptions.

He finds the easiest part is getting to learn about Train Guy all over again.

[bedbellyandbeyond]

The Korsgaards

(Story Post)

“You made quite the kid, huh, Cam?” Korsy said. Camilo and the baby had both been healthy so they were back home shortly after the delivery. Camilo wasn’t ready for too many guests but Korsgaard was practically family at this point so it was no surprise that he would be stopping by to meet the baby. Korsgaard brought along his daughter Maya and managed to grab Korsy too, despite his son’s travel work. “Uncle Korsy’s gonna spoil you,” Korsy was saying as he was having his turn to hold Eris. “Man, this kid is so cute…”

“You hold her well, Korsy,” Camilo said. “I’m a little surprised.” “Don’t be,” Korsy said. “Had to help my dad raise the monster over there…” “Hey!” Maya complained, punching her brother’s arm. She was much younger than her adult brother but there was no mistaking the resemblance with her dark skin and lavender hair colour. “You’re the monster!” “No, you are, you little barbarian.” “It’s a great class, shut up!” “Kids.” Korsgaard dropped a hand on each of his children’s heads. “No fighting.” “She’s the one punching me while I’m holding a baby,” Korsy complained. “Enough.” Korsgaard sighed and pet Maya’s head. “Apologise.” Maya pulled a face. “'Msorry...” she murmured. “Korsy.” Korsy shrugged. “I accept the apology.” Korsgaard frowned. “No. Apologise.” “For what?!” “To your sister.” “That didn’t answer my question.” “Apologise.” Korsy heaved a sigh. “Sorry, eftertanke…” Korsgaard gave his son a swift slap to his head. “Be an adult.” “Ow!” Korsy huffed. “Sorry Maya!” Korsgaard placed a hand on Camilo's shoulder. “You doin' good?” “Yeah, I'm alright. Tired, but you know...” Camilo rubbed his arm as he watched Korsy walk about with Eris in his arms. “…How did you feel when your kids were first born?” “Hm… Anxious,” Korsgaard admitted. “I am not a small man, and I felt like I might break them…” “Dios mío, do I feel that...” Camilo sighed. “I...don't want to do things wrong...” Korsgaard looked directly down at Camilo. “You're going to do things wrong. But not all the things.” Camilo blinked and stared at Korsgaard. “How do you always say the right thing?” “I don't. But I try to,” Korsgaard admitted. “Have your parents been by?” “Not yet, they're gonna fly in next week to see Eris.” “But you've done video calling?” “Yeah.” “Good, good...” “Do you think you'd want to come by? I'd love if you could meet them.” Korsgaard nodded. “Dad, what if they stayed with us?” Korsy suggested. Korsgaard nodded more. “Yes, they should.” “Oh, no. I wouldn't want to impose,” Camilo said. “No, no, it's a big house,” Korsgaard insisted. “Like an Airbnb,” Korsy added. Korsgaard nodded. “I'd like to host Camilo's birth parents.” “You say that like you adopted me...” Camilo chuckled. “Oh, he did,” Korsy grinned. “Whether you like it or not, you're a Korsgaard now.” “Ah, yeah... Please don't say that in front of my parents,” Camilo asked. “They won't get the joke.” “What joke?” Korsgaard asked. “Being a Korsgaard is good. Not too late to marry Korsy.” “What?” “Okay, Dad, that's enough of that...” Korsy said, letting Maya have her turn holding the baby. “I wouldn't marry my brother.” “You guys...” Camilo chuckled a bit and rubbed his eye. “You're crazy.” “Where's Rheni?” Korsy asked. “Oh, his permission isn't through yet to let him come back to live here...” Camilo said. “You know how paperwork is. Fay's on it though.” “Dad, can't you do something about that?” Korsy asked. “You're the desk jockey.” “Yeah, I can help,” Korsgaard agreed. “I'll help Fay.” “Well, that’s great then. I appreciate it.” Camilo pushed a smile and rubbed his arm. “Oh, you guys have been here a while and I haven’t even offered you a drink.” “Don’t worry about it,” Korsy said. “I’m good.” “Korsgaard?” Camilo asked. Korsgaard nodded. “Water’s fine.” “Sure. Maya, would you like something to drink?” “Hm…” Maya tilted her head. “What do you have?” “Good question,” Camilo realised. “Come to the kitchen with me and we can see.” Maya started to follow him, but her brother stopped her. “Lemme hold Eris while you get a drink, eh?” Maya nodded and passed Eris back to Korsy who immediately started making faces to the infant. Korsgaard stayed watching Korsy with the baby. “You’re good with kids,” he remarked. “Yeah, well… Baby’s love silly,” Korsy said. “When are you gonna make me a grandfather?” “Dad…”

[bookerandy]

kaysanova - they adopt some kids after realizing they’ve lost their immortality/one of them gets injured and doesn’t heal

I’m so sorry this took so long! I was going to add more, but haven’t had the time these past few days and decided to just add this part. Thank you for being patient and for sending this prompt! I had a lot of fun writing it.

If I end up writing more, I’ll reblog this and add to it! Also wtf you can’t add read more?? On the app???

-

Thankfully, it hadn’t been a big wound. It had only needed two stiches and Nile had taught herself how to treat their wounds when it happened to Andy. But it wasn’t really the wound that hurt and Nicky knew that.

They had never been without each other. Not even in the beginning, when they had killed each other over and over again. They had always had each other. It had always been the two of them against the world. Not anymore.

Nicky sat on the edge of the bathtub. Nile had crouched in front of him, as she cleaned the healing wound. She talked, but Nicky didn’t listen. It was one of the few times he didn’t listen. He adored her, it was almost like having his baby sister back.

They hadn’t talked about it, even though it had been months now. Nicky knew why, but he wanted to talk about it.

“And then Andy took me to the church downtown”, Nile continued, dabbing the wound with some antibiotics. “Have you been? It was really nice, actually. She even let me pray and-...”

The bathroom door opened. Joe stood there, casually leaning against the doorframe. He had a small smile on his lips.

“Would you give us a moment, Nile? Andy’s trying to cook, you might want to give her a hand.”

Nile glanced up at Nicky as if to ask him if it was alright, and Nicky nodded. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Don’t move, I still need to add a plaster.”

Nile passed Joe and Joe closed the door behind her. For just a moment, Joe stood by the door and Nicky sat on the edge of the tub and they didn’t even look at each other.

“I’m sorry”, Joe said, finally. “I’ve ignored it, I’ve ignored you and I’m sorry.”

Nicky stood. He gently took both of Joe’s hands in his own and held them. He searched for something to say, but in every language he knew there was nothing he could say that would make this hurt any less.

“I love you”, he said, instead. “And I don’t want you to hurt when I’m gone.”

Joe embraced him in a hug and they stood there for a long time. Nicky wasn’t sure how long, but it did make him feel better.

“I’ve been thinking”, Joe pulled back enough to have a look at him. “Do you remember what you said, that first night?”

“I don’t think I understand, Joe…”

Joe led him back to the tub and sat down. Nicky did the same. Joe grabbed his hand as soon as he did and pulled out his phone. He only held it, though.

“The first night we spent together. We talked about our families and you told me about the girl you’d marry. Do you remember?”

Nicky pulled his hand away.

“I am not leaving you!”

Joe was quick to grab his hand again and Joe’s soft fingers calmed his raging heart, if only a little.

“I don’t expect you to. Listen to me, please”, Joe spoke Italian now. Despite the 1000 years that had passed, he still spoke with a slight accent. It was barely audioble, but it was Joe. It was his Joe.

“You told me you didn’t want to marry her”, Joe continued, still in Italian. Nicky suspected it was to make sure Nile didn’t understand if she stood just outside the door, and to make Nicky feel a little more at home. It worked. “You told me the only thing you’d want from that marriage was children. Do you remember?”

Nicky’s heart beat so hard in his chest now that it physically hurt. They had agreed years ago that it wasn’t going to work with children. Even before Booker, they had both decided they didn’t want to outlive their children. Hell, they hadn’t even adopted a puppy for the same reason and that often happened to normal people.

“I’ve been in contact with a social worker”, Joe said, as Nicky slowly sat down next to him again. “And she has a little girl we could have. She only wants to meet you, that’s all.”

“Joe…”

“I mean it, Nicky. I want this and I know you want this.”

Nicky thought for a second and squeezed Joe’s hand.

“Okay.”

The office was brightly lit and had a bunch of kids’ drawings on the walls. It smelled faintly of the flowers in a bouquet by the window. The walls were yellow and the furniture was white. Scattered on the floor, there were toys and stuffed animals.

“You must be Joe”, the woman by the desk stood and held out her hand. “We spoke on the phone.”

Nicky watched as Joe took her hand. She was elderly and had a very kind face. Her hair was pulled up in a neat hairdo.

“And this must be Nicky”, the woman said, when she turned to shake Nicky’s hand. “I’m Rose. I’ve heard you’re interested in getting a little girl?”

Nicky nodded with a bright smile on his lips. He felt silly, but he hadn’t been this happy for a very long time. Since Andy lost her immortality, it had been difficult to find something to keep them going.

“We have a three year old here. Her name is Ava and she is born here in the States. Would you like to sit?”

Nicky and Joe sat by her desk. She offered them coffee and talked to them, asking questions and telling them about Ava. Nicky was about to burst, when she finally asked when they wanted to see her. The woman left the room and Nicky turned to Joe. Joe looked just as happy as Nicky felt.

“I can’t believe we’re going to meet her”, Nicky took Joe’s hand, holding it for a moment.

The woman returned just a few minutes later, with the little girl resting on her hip. Ava had black, kinky hair and big, chestnut eyes. She wore a bright pink dress and a pair of white shoes. She also held a stuffed pony almost as big as herself. She was perfect.

Nicky quickly stood when Rose walked inside the room and let the little girl down on the floor. She held the pony close to her chest and looked up at Nicky with wide eyes. He crouched next to her and waved his hand, just a little.

“Hello, there”, he said, gently. “I’m Nicky.”

“I’m Ava”, the girl said and held out the pony. “This is Pinky.”

Nicky petted the pony and smiled. Joe joined him on the floor and greeted the girl.

“Should we play?” Nicky sat down and picked up one of the stuffed toys.

They played. Nicky wasn’t sure how long they stayed, but he had a warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest. Ava stood with Rose and waved them off when it was time to leave.

They returned two weeks later and signed all the papers. Ava got to come home with them and she was only the first of many.

“You’re gonna get to meet your aunties now”, Nicky told Ava, as Joe unlocked the door to the safe house. They walked inside and even before the door closed behind them, Nile came running.

“Look at her!” She said and she beamed. “Hello, Ava!”

Ava shyly his her face against Nicky’s shoulder and he laughed gently, petting her back.

“This is Nile”, he told her, but let her hide. “She’s your aunt.”

Slowly, Ava turned back to have a look at Nile. Nile looked as if Christmas had come early.

“Andy is in the kitchen. She’s making dinner.”

Joe gently took Ava from Nicky’s arms, as Nicky undressed. They had gotten her gifts to open as soon as they had eaten and Andy had promised to make her favourite (even though no one but Andy knew what that was) and Nile had made baklava the day before. Even Booker had sent Ava a gift. Nile and Andy kept in contact with him, even though it was “cheating”.

Andy stood by the oven in the kitchen. She had a towel thrown over her shoulder and her hair had grown just below her ears. She had dressed up, because she “had to make a good impression.”

“Aunt Andy”, Joe called, and waved to the woman. Ava did the same, although still shyly. “Look at our daughter!”

When Andy turned around, her cheeks were flushed and she looked just as exciting as Nile, even though she clearly tried to hide it.

“Hi there”, Andy said, as she quickly threw the towel on the counter. She held out her hand, but changed her mind a second later and waved instead. “I’m Andy.”

“My name is Ava”, Ava said with a shy smile and struggled to get down on the floor. Joe let her down.

The table setting was all in pink and blue, except for a big wine glass in yellow plastic. Ava’s name was written in big, circular letters on the glass.

Ava waddled to her seat and Andy helped her up, but then quickly took a step back and sat on the other side of the table. Joe and Nicky quickly joined at the table and Nile came inside ten minutes later with a paper crown and placed it on Ava’s head.

“Welcome home, Ava!” Nile said, as she sat next to Andy. Andy served them all (turned out her favourite was pasta and sauce, even though Nicky didn’t actually believe that).

They ate and Ava slowly began talking and wasn’t as shy as she had when they first arrived. She giggled and ate enough food for a horse. Nicky’s heart hurt, that was just how adorable she was.

“Now”, Joe said, when they had all finished their seconds and thirds. “Ava has to open her gifts!”

Ava turned to him with big, bright eyes.

“I get gifts?” She asked. “Daddy, do I get gifts?”

Nicky laughed softly and nodded as a reply. Joe snuck up behind Ava and picked her up from the chair. She cheered, and they all joined Joe as he walked to the living room.

If there had been a tree and some more lights, it would have looked a lot like Christmas did when they celebrated together. Wrapped gifts littered the room and a banner spelled the words “welcome home!” Just above the television. Ava already sat in the middle of the gifts.

Nile pulled out her phone and snapped a picture and Andy didn’t even tell her off.

“Andy…” Nicky gently touched her shoulder. “We said a few. You’ll spoil her.”

Joe laughed and Nile sat next to Ava on the floor. Ava looked around the room in disbelief.

“Don’t worry, there’s one for you and Joe.”

When Nile gave Ava one of the presents, she quickly ripped the paper and held up a colouring book and pencils Nile had gotten. Nicky and Joe ended up together on the couch and Andy sat in the other corner. She watched Ava with an adoration Nicky hadn’t seen in the woman for decades.

Ava unwrapped another gift. She picked up the plastic sword in both hands and swung it around, as she let out a roar. Nile laughed softly violently she fell to the floor.

“Andy!” Joe complained, but he was quick to join his daughter on the floor. Ava hit Joe with the sword and he immediately dropped to the ground, moaning in pretend pain.

“I’m the princess!” Ava announced, even though the paper crown had slipped from her head. When she had hit both Nicky, Nile and Andy, too (and they had all “died”) Ava returned to the pile of gifts for her.

She unwrapped gift after gift. Ballet shoes. More colouring books. Dolls. Stuffed animals. A tutu (which she quickly pulled on and then hit everyone with the sword again). Enough dresses to dress an army of Girl Scouts.

When there was only one gift left, Ava curled up on the couch with Andy and held it out for her, as if to ask Andy to unwrap it for her. Nicky’s heart melted and he could see just how much it touched Andy. She unwrapped it, slowly, as if she was sure Ava would tear it from her hands again, but she didn’t. Andy pulled a plastic dinosaur from the paper. She held it out to Ava, who shook her head.

“You need a toy, too! We have to play together!”

Andy’s eyes got teary and she quickly pulled one last gift from behind her back. She held out it for Ava.

“It’s for papa and daddy. Would you give it to them?”

Ava nodded and turned to her parents and held out the gift as if it was the most valuable thing she had ever held in her little hands.

“You unwrap it, love”, Nicky said, as he wrapped both arms around Joe. Joe took the gift and unwrapped it. When Nicky saw it, he actually began crying.

Joe held a camera in his hands.

“Don’t cry, daddy!” Ava jumped down from the couch and hugged Nicky and he picked her up from the floor and hugged her right back. Her small body felt perfect against his, as if she was meant to be there. And Nicky knew that she was. She was supposed to be theirs. It was destiny, just like it had been destiny that Joe and Nicky had met.

“Andromache”, Joe’s voice was muffled and broke towards the end of her name. “Thank you.”

Nile flopped down between Joe and Andy, pouting.

“Don’t leave me out. I wanna be mushy and cry, too.”

There was an album, too. Even though there were only two pictures in it, so far, it was beautiful. The first picture was of Ava when she was born (Andy wouldn’t tell how she had gotten it) and the second was Ava’s picture from the adoption site. Nile took a few pictures of the room and then way too many pictures of them all together.

Ava became their little gemstone. She was awfully spoiled and got her first, real sword when she turned thirteen. She wasn’t allowed anywhere near missions, but she trained with her aunties as often as she was allowed.

[writethehousedown]

Trust Fund, Gold Tongue 5/7 (Crygi) - Peridot

A/N: Your support for this fic means the absolute world to me, thank you so much! I wasn’t sure if I’d get this chapter up today, but here we are! It may not be the best chapter, but I really wanted to produce something for you guy. I hope you still enjoy regardless! Remember you can also find this whole fic on ao3 and can chat to me @artificialperidot as always. Love you guys!

“Undo my bikini at the back, will you?”

“Excuse me?” Crystal choked, feeling her breath hitch in her throat. It was about eleven thirty in the morning, and Crystal had been busy serving drinks by the poolside, but naturally she had taken some time to sneak a quick chat with Gigi when she had seen her sprawled on a sunlounger. 

Gigi was laid on her stomach, wearing a similar floppy sun hat to the one she had worn on the day Crystal had met her, but in a different colour - a sort of beige, cream colour. Crystal presumed she probably didn’t wear the same outfit twice too often. She was mindlessly flipping through a magazine - Vogue, Crystal thought - with her eyes sheltered under massively oversized sunglasses, and wearing a bikini Crystal hadn’t seen before - it was red, and adorned with a paisley pattern, pink and yellow and white. Crystal thought she looked perfect in it, but then again, she thought Gigi looked perfect all the time.

But it didn’t quite distract her from the question at hand.

“You heard me,” Gigi peered out from under her sunglasses.

Crystal felt uncertainty bubble in her stomach. “Uh, Gigi, um-“

“Relax, it’s not like that,” she giggled, sticking out her tongue a little as she laughed. “I’m trying to get a tan and I don’t wanna get any tan lines.”

Crystal smiled. “Are you jealous of this gorgeous golden latina skin?” she teased.

Gigi playfully swatted at Crystal’s leg, smirking up at her, and Crystal took that as a yes. “Well, don’t just stand there,” Gigi eventually said, reaching a hand to her back to fumble with the strap. “Help me outta this. I mean, not literally out of it. I’m keeping it on at the front.”

“I presumed,” Crystal replied. “Didn’t think you were an exhibitionist.”

“Fuck off,” Gigi laughed.

“Do you want me to help you or not?”

Gigi pouted, sticking out her lower lip, like a spoiled little girl begging for a puppy. Crystal thought that Gigi probably was that little girl when she was younger, but she kept quiet. “Please?” she asked, one arm still fumbling with the strap at the back.

“I don’t know…,” Crystal teased, twirling one of her curls around her finger and looking away coyly.

“Since when were you so cocky?” Gigi whined. “Isn’t your job literally customer service?”

Crystal rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t hide her smile. “Ugh. Fine,” she said sarcastically. “Only because I don’t wanna get fired,” she added, causing Gigi to choke out a laugh.

It was only when Crystal’s hands were centimetres away from Gigi did she fully comprehend what she was about to do. She, yes she, Crystal Elizabeth Methyd, was about to undo Gigi’s bikini. Gigi fucking Goode’s bikini of all people’s. She gulped, staring at Gigi’s figure, and questioned why god had decided to make her the luckiest person in the world. 

She had heard that god hated the gays, but if he did, why would he have put her in such a perfect position?

She was counting her blessings for sure.

Gigi’s back was a porcelain canvas, and Crystal wanted nothing more than to run her hands over her shoulder blades, or at least engulf her in a huge hug. Instead, she let her heart beat like a dream in her ears and fumbled to untie the red bikini strap on her back.

After a small struggle to undo the particularly tight knot, Crystal loosened her straps and sent them flailing to the sides. She was very aware that this was a normal thing for someone to do, that she was just trying to get a tan, and she wouldn’t see anything whilst Gigi was lying on her front. She was also very aware that Gigi was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, and was wearing very few clothes. And she was painfully aware of the heat of a deep rosy blush that was spreading over her cheeks.

Crystal ran her fingers through the ends of Gigi’s dark curls, smoothing them out neatly over her shoulders and trying to stop herself from shaking. “There. Perfect!” she said, clapping her hands together.

“Thanks, baby,” Gigi grinned. Crystal’s stomach did a somersault at the use of the pet name.

“You do know you’re just gonna get burned, though, right?” Crystal added. “You’re like a milk bottle.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re so pale, you’re basically transparent,” 

Gigi gasped, mock-offended. “Well, maybe you should put some sun lotion on me,” she said, lowering her sunglasses and winking, waggling her eyebrows.

Crystal’s breath caught in her throat. “You’re not serious.”

“I’m deadly serious,” she said stoically, blinking rapidly to drive her point home. “You don’t want me to burn, now do you?”

Crystal didn’t want her to burn, she supposed. She also didn’t wanna pass up a golden opportunity like this, that she might never have again, to get her hands all over Gigi. She also didn’t want anyone to see them, and was acutely aware that there were a few people milling around the pool area, but she supposed that putting on sunscreen wasn’t too irregular in July, and that if she didn’t make it too obvious that she was enjoying it, then they’d be able to explain themselves pretty well.

Fuck it. The customer is always right.

With that, she squeezed the cream onto her hands and went all in, sweeping like windshield wipers over her back. She traced over her shoulder blades and her spine, and moved up her neck and shoulders, giving them a quick massage whilst she was there, just because she could. Gigi giggled as Crystal gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze, kneading her upper back like a cat.

And then her hands moved lower and lower, down her spine, hands caressing her waist, all the way down to the small of her back. She rubbed it in soft circles, tentatively, as if her skin was delicate. Crystal’s chest tightened as she looked at the girl below her, basking in the feeling of Crystal’s hands all over her. She didn’t know someone could be so perfect. Gigi was beautiful, undoubtedly so, but more than anything, she was kind. She cared about Crystal, just as much as Crystal cared about her. Crystal had never imagined finding someone like this, who fit with her so well. All she wanted was to scream to the world about this girl, about how wonderfully in love she was with her, but she knew that she couldn’t. Gigi had a reputation, and she’d never want to put her in danger. They made sure they were never seen together - Crystal knew what Gigi’s dad was like. It occurred to Crystal that this was probably the most public they had ever been, and the realisation made her suddenly a little nervous.

After hastily rubbing in the rest of the sunscreen, she lifted her hands off of her back and her eyes scanned the area like a hawk. She hoped no one had seen them.

The only people she noticed who were close by were an older couple, one with their back turned to them and the other seemingly engaged in a rather difficult sudoku puzzle.

The coast seemed to be clear.

Except for Heidi, of course, who was milling around the pool, busily wiping down some tables nearby, and had mimed clutching her pearls when Crystal had made eye contact with her after seeing the ordeal go down.

Crystal knew Heidi would keep a secret, though. After she told Jan. Crystal knew she was obligated to tell Jan.

Trying to shake off her worry, Crystal wiped her hands down on the front of her apron and gently sighed, partially in contemptment and partially to rid her body of fear. “All done!” she said.

“Thanks, Crystal. You’re a doll,” Gigi beamed. “You should probably get back to work, though,” she added. “Don’t wanna look too suspicious.”

Crystal shrugged. “You’re right,” she said. “I’ll see you later on the tennis courts?”

“Of course. I can’t wait,” Gigi replied with a wide grin, blowing a kiss as Crystal walked away, acting as if nothing had happened, as if she wasn’t dancing on air at the thought of seeing Gigi again, even though she had just left.

Despite their arrangement having gone on for weeks at this point, the butterflies in Crystal’s stomach never seemed to disappear.

***

“So we’ve moved on to giving Gigi back massages now, have we?” Jan said with a quirked eyebrow, sneaking up to Crystal at the edge of the dining hall whilst they were waitressing on the lunchtime shift.

Heidi worked fast, huh?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Crystal replied, tucking a red curl behind her ear in faux-modesty. “I just put on some sunblock on a customer who asked for assistance.”

“Sure, Jan” she replied with a smirk.

“Jan, I’m gonna be upfront here. It doesn’t make sense when you say that because your name is Jan and it just confuses everyone.”

Jan cackled mischievously, before clamping her hands firmly over both ears. “That can’t stop me because I can’t hear!” she said, a little too loudly considering they were both working. Crystal shook her head and chuckled, baffled by Jan’s infectious energy at all times. 

“Seriously though,” Jan continued, “I’m happy for you. Go get her, tiger!”

Crystal’s face screwed up, as if she had sucked on a sour patch kid. “Not Carole Baskin!” she exclaimed, sending the pair into fits of laughter, getting a couple of looks by nearby diners. They laughed like hyenas, and Crystal felt that it summed up her relationship with Jan pretty well.

“You’re one to talk, though,” Crystal went on when her breathing had calmed. “I see you hanging off of Jackie’s arm in the break room.”

Jan bit her lip ever so slightly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she mimicked.

Crystal raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Sure, Jan.”

***

Crystal skipped onto the tennis courts that afternoon, eager as ever to see Gigi. As usual, Gigi was already waiting on her by the time she arrived, lounging on the ground with her legs outstretched, eyes glued to the illuminated screen of her phone. Crystal noted that she had straightened her hair since she had seen her last. It looked so glossy and smooth, and she could practically feel how soft it would be to run her hands through. 

She’d get to that part later, though.

For now, she hopped down onto the ground and crossed her legs, nuzzling into Gigi’s side.

Crystal couldn’t help but break out into a smile. “Hi.” 

“Hey diva,” Gigi replied chipperly, pulling her into a hug, but her eyes barely left her screen for more than a second.

Crystal pouted. “What’s so important that you’re not giving me attention?”

“Hm? Oh, it’s just my friend Nicky. She’s going to Aruba with her girlfriend Jaida next weekend and she didn’t know what to pack, and you know I gotta help a bitch out with fashion,” she said with a chuckle, tapping her screen before turning it off and placing it on the ground by her side. “Anyways, how are you darling?”

“Better now you’re looking at me.”

Gigi cooed. “Well isn’t that sweet?” she said, and Crystal could see her pupils tracing each of her features, her nose, her cheeks, her lips, before meeting her eyes again. She felt herself blush under her gaze, but she wasn’t embarrassed about it, because she knew Gigi wouldn’t think twice about it.

They fell into a small silence, but Crystal knew her time away from work was precious and often in short supply, so she looked for a way to keep the conversation going. “I, uh, I really like your necklace,” she blurted out.

“Really? Thanks!” Gigi said, taking it between her thumb and her forefinger gently. It was a pendant, in the shape of a sun on a gold chain, and Crystal liked the look of its little grumpy face. Gigi was grinning at the compliment, and Crystal’s heart fluttered in her chest at the way her nose scrunched up when she smiled. “You can have it, if you want,” she said.

Crystal was taken aback. “Oh no, it’s okay.”

“No really, I want you to have it. I have, like, a million necklaces,” she said, reaching her arms behind her neck to undo the clasp.

“I - Uh, thank you so much,” Crystal smiled, feeling grateful for such a sweet gesture.

“It’s nothing,” Gigi said, pulling the necklace out from behind her neck. “If I wasn’t stuck in this place, I’d buy you everything you wanted.”

Crystal paused. Something about that didn’t sit quite right with her. “I don’t want you to spend all that money on me, Geeg.”

“But I want to. I have the money, so I may as well treat you with it, right?”

“But I don’t need a handout, Gigi,” she explained. “All that expensive stuff doesn’t matter to me. I just wanna see you. I don’t need anything else.” 

Gigi smiled. “Okay. Point noted,” she said, holding her hands up in surrender. “But I’m giving you this necklace, and you can’t stop me.”

“Alright, Alright,” Crystal conceded, giggling. 

“Can I put it on you?”

“Please,” she said with a smile.

With that, Gigi was placing her hands on Crystal’s shoulders, spinning her around and instructing her to hold her hair up out of the way. And then she draped the gold chain over her head and around her neck, fingers tracing her collar bones and her breath by Crystal’s ear. The moment felt precious, meaningful, and Crystal let herself be drowned in the feeling.

“Beautiful,” Gigi whispered, turning Crystal back around and taking her hands away from her hair and holding them in her own.

Crystal smiled, meeting Gigi’s big blue eyes, her pupils blown wide. And then her eyes glanced down to Gigi’s full pink lips, and she brought them together, colliding in a kiss.

Crystal lost herself in the scent of Gigi’s floral perfume and the feeling of her lips on hers, bringing her hands to hold the other girl’s waist. Gigi’s hands slid around her neck, and for a moment the only thing that mattered to Crystal was the two of them, because they had each other and she had Gigi and she never, ever wanted to let her go.

And then, Crystal’s attention was diverted.

There was a noise.

A click.

Almost like the click of a camera.

Crystal immediately broke the kiss and looked around for the source.

And who wa stood just metres away, camera in hand?

Matthew.

me?” Crystal choked, feeling her breath hitch in her throat. It was about eleven thirty in the morning, and Crystal had been busy serving drinks by the poolside, but naturally she had taken some time to sneak a quick chat with Gigi when she had seen her sprawled on a sunlounger. 

Gigi was laid on her stomach, wearing a similar floppy sun hat to the one she had worn on the day Crystal had met her, but in a different colour - a sort of beige, cream colour. Crystal presumed she probably didn’t wear the same outfit twice too often. She was mindlessly flipping through a magazine - Vogue, Crystal thought - with her eyes sheltered under massively oversized sunglasses, and wearing a bikini Crystal hadn’t seen before - it was red, and adorned with a paisley pattern, pink and yellow and white. Crystal thought she looked perfect in it, but then again, she thought Gigi looked perfect all the time.

But it didn’t quite distract her from the question at hand.

“You heard me,” Gigi peered out from under her sunglasses.

Crystal felt uncertainty bubble in her stomach. “Uh, Gigi, um-“

“Relax, it’s not like that,” she giggled, sticking out her tongue a little as she laughed. “I’m trying to get a tan and I don’t wanna get any tan lines.”

Crystal smiled. “Are you jealous of this gorgeous golden latina skin?” she teased.

Gigi playfully swatted at Crystal’s leg, smirking up at her, and Crystal took that as a yes. “Well, don’t just stand there,” Gigi eventually said, reaching a hand to her back to fumble with the strap. “Help me outta this. I mean, not literally out of it. I’m keeping it on at the front.”

“I presumed,” Crystal replied. “Didn’t think you were an exhibitionist.”

“Fuck off,” Gigi laughed.

“Do you want me to help you or not?”

Gigi pouted, sticking out her lower lip, like a spoiled little girl begging for a puppy. Crystal thought that Gigi probably was that little girl when she was younger, but she kept quiet. “Please?” she asked, one arm still fumbling with the strap at the back.

“I don’t know…,” Crystal teased, twirling one of her curls around her finger and looking away coyly.

“Since when were you so cocky?” Gigi whined. “Isn’t your job literally customer service?”

Crystal rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t hide her smile. “Ugh. Fine,” she said sarcastically. “Only because I don’t wanna get fired,” she added, causing Gigi to choke out a laugh.

It was only when Crystal’s hands were centimetres away from Gigi did she fully comprehend what she was about to do. She, yes she, Crystal Elizabeth Methyd, was about to undo Gigi’s bikini. Gigi fucking Goode’s bikini of all people’s. She gulped, staring at Gigi’s figure, and questioned why god had decided to make her the luckiest person in the world. 

She had heard that god hated the gays, but if he did, why would he have put her in such a perfect position?

She was counting her blessings for sure.

Gigi’s back was a porcelain canvas, and Crystal wanted nothing more than to run her hands over her shoulder blades, or at least engulf her in a huge hug. Instead, she let her heart beat like a dream in her ears and fumbled to untie the red bikini strap on her back.

After a small struggle to undo the particularly tight knot, Crystal loosened her straps and sent them flailing to the sides. She was very aware that this was a normal thing for someone to do, that she was just trying to get a tan, and she wouldn’t see anything whilst Gigi was lying on her front. She was also very aware that Gigi was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, and was wearing very few clothes. And she was painfully aware of the heat of a deep rosy blush that was spreading over her cheeks.

Crystal ran her fingers through the ends of Gigi’s dark curls, smoothing them out neatly over her shoulders and trying to stop herself from shaking. “There. Perfect!” she said, clapping her hands together.

“Thanks, baby,” Gigi grinned. Crystal’s stomach did a somersault at the use of the pet name.

“You do know you’re just gonna get burned, though, right?” Crystal added. “You’re like a milk bottle.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re so pale, you’re basically transparent,” 

Gigi gasped, mock-offended. “Well, maybe you should put some sun lotion on me,” she said, lowering her sunglasses and winking, waggling her eyebrows.

Crystal’s breath caught in her throat. “You’re not serious.”

“I’m deadly serious,” she said stoically, blinking rapidly to drive her point home. “You don’t want me to burn, now do you?”

Crystal didn’t want her to burn, she supposed. She also didn’t wanna pass up a golden opportunity like this, that she might never have again, to get her hands all over Gigi. She also didn’t want anyone to see them, and was acutely aware that there were a few people milling around the pool area, but she supposed that putting on sunscreen wasn’t too irregular in July, and that if she didn’t make it too obvious that she was enjoying it, then they’d be able to explain themselves pretty well.

Fuck it. The customer is always right.

With that, she squeezed the cream onto her hands and went all in, sweeping like windshield wipers over her back. She traced over her shoulder blades and her spine, and moved up her neck and shoulders, giving them a quick massage whilst she was there, just because she could. Gigi giggled as Crystal gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze, kneading her upper back like a cat.

And then her hands moved lower and lower, down her spine, hands caressing her waist, all the way down to the small of her back. She rubbed it in soft circles, tentatively, as if her skin was delicate. Crystal’s chest tightened as she looked at the girl below her, basking in the feeling of Crystal’s hands all over her. She didn’t know someone could be so perfect. Gigi was beautiful, undoubtedly so, but more than anything, she was kind. She cared about Crystal, just as much as Crystal cared about her. Crystal had never imagined finding someone like this, who fit with her so well. All she wanted was to scream to the world about this girl, about how wonderfully in love she was with her, but she knew that she couldn’t. Gigi had a reputation, and she’d never want to put her in danger. They made sure they were never seen together - Crystal knew what Gigi’s dad was like. It occurred to Crystal that this was probably the most public they had ever been, and the realisation made her suddenly a little nervous.

After hastily rubbing in the rest of the sunscreen, she lifted her hands off of her back and her eyes scanned the area like a hawk. She hoped no one had seen them.

The only people she noticed who were close by were an older couple, one with their back turned to them and the other seemingly engaged in a rather difficult sudoku puzzle.

The coast seemed to be clear.

Except for Heidi, of course, who was milling around the pool, busily wiping down some tables nearby, and had mimed clutching her pearls when Crystal had made eye contact with her after seeing the ordeal go down.

Crystal knew Heidi would keep a secret, though. After she told Jan. Crystal knew she was obligated to tell Jan.

Trying to shake off her worry, Crystal wiped her hands down on the front of her apron and gently sighed, partially in contemptment and partially to rid her body of fear. “All done!” she said.

“Thanks, Crystal. You’re a doll,” Gigi beamed. “You should probably get back to work, though,” she added. “Don’t wanna look too suspicious.”

Crystal shrugged. “You’re right,” she said. “I’ll see you later on the tennis courts?”

“Of course. I can’t wait,” Gigi replied with a wide grin, blowing a kiss as Crystal walked away, acting as if nothing had happened, as if she wasn’t dancing on air at the thought of seeing Gigi again, even though she had just left.

Despite their arrangement having gone on for weeks at this point, the butterflies in Crystal’s stomach never seemed to disappear.

***

“So we’ve moved on to giving Gigi back massages now, have we?” Jan said with a quirked eyebrow, sneaking up to Crystal at the edge of the dining hall whilst they were waitressing on the lunchtime shift.

Heidi worked fast, huh?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Crystal replied, tucking a red curl behind her ear in faux-modesty. “I just put on some sunblock on a customer who asked for assistance.”

“Sure, Jan” she replied with a smirk.

“Jan, I’m gonna be upfront here. It doesn’t make sense when you say that because your name is Jan and it just confuses everyone.”

Jan cackled mischievously, before clamping her hands firmly over both ears. “That can’t stop me because I can’t hear!” she said, a little too loudly considering they were both working. Crystal shook her head and chuckled, baffled by Jan’s infectious energy at all times. 

“Seriously though,” Jan continued, “I’m happy for you. Go get her, tiger!”

Crystal’s face screwed up, as if she had sucked on a sour patch kid. “Not Carole Baskin!” she exclaimed, sending the pair into fits of laughter, getting a couple of looks by nearby diners. They laughed like hyenas, and Crystal felt that it summed up her relationship with Jan pretty well.

“You’re one to talk, though,” Crystal went on when her breathing had calmed. “I see you hanging off of Jackie’s arm in the break room.”

Jan bit her lip ever so slightly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she mimicked.

Crystal raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Sure, Jan.”

***

Crystal skipped onto the tennis courts that afternoon, eager as ever to see Gigi. As usual, Gigi was already waiting on her by the time she arrived, lounging on the ground with her legs outstretched, eyes glued to the illuminated screen of her phone. Crystal noted that she had straightened her hair since she had seen her last. It looked so glossy and smooth, and she could practically feel how soft it would be to run her hands through. 

She’d get to that part later, though.

For now, she hopped down onto the ground and crossed her legs, nuzzling into Gigi’s side.

Crystal couldn’t help but break out into a smile. “Hi.” 

“Hey diva,” Gigi replied chipperly, pulling her into a hug, but her eyes barely left her screen for more than a second.

Crystal pouted. “What’s so important that you’re not giving me attention?”

“Hm? Oh, it’s just my friend Nicky. She’s going to Aruba with her girlfriend Jaida next weekend and she didn’t know what to pack, and you know I gotta help a bitch out with fashion,” she said with a chuckle, tapping her screen before turning it off and placing it on the ground by her side. “Anyways, how are you darling?”

“Better now you’re looking at me.”

Gigi cooed. “Well isn’t that sweet?” she said, and Crystal could see her pupils tracing each of her features, her nose, her cheeks, her lips, before meeting her eyes again. She felt herself blush under her gaze, but she wasn’t embarrassed about it, because she knew Gigi wouldn’t think twice about it.

They fell into a small silence, but Crystal knew her time away from work was precious and often in short supply, so she looked for a way to keep the conversation going. “I, uh, I really like your necklace,” she blurted out.

“Really? Thanks!” Gigi said, taking it between her thumb and her forefinger gently. It was a pendant, in the shape of a sun on a gold chain, and Crystal liked the look of its little grumpy face. Gigi was grinning at the compliment, and Crystal’s heart fluttered in her chest at the way her nose scrunched up when she smiled. “You can have it, if you want,” she said.

Crystal was taken aback. “Oh no, it’s okay.”

“No really, I want you to have it. I have, like, a million necklaces,” she said, reaching her arms behind her neck to undo the clasp.

“I - Uh, thank you so much,” Crystal smiled, feeling grateful for such a sweet gesture.

“It’s nothing,” Gigi said, pulling the necklace out from behind her neck. “If I wasn’t stuck in this place, I’d buy you everything you wanted.”

Crystal paused. Something about that didn’t sit quite right with her. “I don’t want you to spend all that money on me, Geeg.”

“But I want to. I have the money, so I may as well treat you with it, right?”

“But I don’t need a handout, Gigi,” she explained. “All that expensive stuff doesn’t matter to me. I just wanna see you. I don’t need anything else.” 

Gigi smiled. “Okay. Point noted,” she said, holding her hands up in surrender. “But I’m giving you this necklace, and you can’t stop me.”

“Alright, Alright,” Crystal conceded, giggling. 

“Can I put it on you?”

“Please,” she said with a smile.

With that, Gigi was placing her hands on Crystal’s shoulders, spinning her around and instructing her to hold her hair up out of the way. And then she draped the gold chain over her head and around her neck, fingers tracing her collar bones and her breath by Crystal’s ear. The moment felt precious, meaningful, and Crystal let herself be drowned in the feeling.

“Beautiful,” Gigi whispered, turning Crystal back around and taking her hands away from her hair and holding them in her own.

Crystal smiled, meeting Gigi’s big blue eyes, her pupils blown wide. And then her eyes glanced down to Gigi’s full pink lips, and she brought them together, colliding in a kiss.

Crystal lost herself in the scent of Gigi’s floral perfume and the feeling of her lips on hers, bringing her hands to hold the other girl’s waist. Gigi’s hands slid around her neck, and for a moment the only thing that mattered to Crystal was the two of them, because they had each other and she had Gigi and she never, ever wanted to let her go.

And then, Crystal’s attention was diverted.

There was a noise.

A click.

Almost like the click of a camera.

Crystal immediately broke the kiss and looked around for the source.

There was a boy, just metres away, clutching a camera in his hands.

Matthew.

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight ch 2

Perrin and Galad deal with leadership and its consequences, and I continue to not deal with the narrative conspiring to make me like Galadedrid Damodred.

Chapter 2: Questions of Leadership

With a title like that, this can only be a Perrin chapter.

Because average leader questions himself 10 times per book factoid actually just statistical error. Wolfbrother Perrin, who lives in a tent and questions himself 1000 times per book is an outlier and should not have been counted.

And that might be a new low for this liveblog, which is saying something.

A few days ago, the pervasive cloud cover had turned black, darkening like the advent of a horrible storm.

Luckily for you and the rest of existence, that particular meteorological phenomenon masquerading as a man decided against total annihilation of everything. *shakes head* Weather forecasts. Can’t trust ‘em.

(The science nerd in me now wants to write, like, a short story or something in the form of a journal article called Impact of localised heroic systems on global atmospheric chemistry and I think perhaps this is a tangent).

Anyway, we are indeed with Perrin, who’s been having a great time lately dealing with mud and plague. Yes, well, aren’t we all.

Both Asha’man had nearly died

Yeah well they’re used to that by now, surely. All in the job description.

Perrin you’ve had a month to work on that blacksmith’s puzzle in your pocket and you haven’t solved it? Just – give it to me. There. Solved.

(I used to love these puzzles. Haven’t come across one in ages though.)

Perrin’s taking in refugees because either he’s lying through his teeth or he’s ta’veren enough to slightly counteract Rand’s spoil-everything-edible influence, maybe.

He had bigger worries to bother him, not the least of which were his strange dreams. Haunting visions of working the forges and being unable to create anything of worth.

Is this the blacksmith equivalent of dreaming you’re suddenly sitting an exam you’ve not studied for, and also you’re naked?

Moving so many refugees was slow, even discounting the bubble of evil and the mud.

Hey at least you’re not also dealing with border walls and immigration control.

Everything took longer than he expected, including getting out of Malden.

Oh, TELL ME ABOUT IT. Me? Still bitter about the Malden plotline? Whatever made you think that?

All in all it seems like a pretty standard Tuesday for Perrin: slogging through mud, questioning his ability to be a great leader (not to be confused with the Great Leader), and trying to keep four nations’ worth of soldiers and refugees away from each other’s throats. Only one we’ve not ticked off the list yet is denying his wolfpowers, but there’s still time.

“Find out where they’re from, learn whether they did serve a lord, see if they can add anything to the maps.”

In which Perrin Aybara invents the census.

Oh hey! The road’s getting less muddy! Which is definitely not symbolic or anything.

“Where are the others?”

“They went on ahead, my Lord,” Fennel said, bowing from horseback. “I volunteered to stay behind, for when you caught up. We needed to explain, you see.”

I’m sorry, hold the phone, forward-thinking and communication – a plan specifically about communicating, even – all in one statement? Well. You know the apocalypse is coming when.

So everyone Perrin sent ahead has taken a detour because there’s mud up ahead, which may be the Pattern’s way of saying ‘we’re running out of time can you please just go where I need you for once’ or may just be bog-standard (see what I did there) geology and meteorology, but will, if the glimpses of Perrin through Rand’s special colour vision last book is anything to go by, result in a collision course for Perrin and Galad, which I’m… weirdly looking forward to.

“But from the look of things here, you decided to bring the entire town with you!”

Think bigger, Fennel. ‘Nation’ bigger, at the least. More likely plural.

Perrin does briefly consider splitting the party army nation(s) at his back, but the Shaido are conveniently in the way so instead I suppose they’ll all just make their way, amoeba-like, to wherever they can engulf Galad’s own group. Or be engulfed by. Alliance, phagocytosis; to-may-to, to-mah-to…

No I’m not sure where I was going with that either. Moving on…

He himself could Travel back to Rand, pretend to make up – most people would still think that he and Rand had parted ways angrily

This strikes me as being strangely sad, and I’m trying to figure out why. Maybe it’s because there’s a secondary reading of this which is that their ‘making up’ would be as much a pretence as their ‘fight’ because both of those have friendship as a prerequisite, and are they even friends anymore after all this time and all that has happened and all that lies between them?

Especially because, in terms of timelines, right now-for-Perrin, Rand is… not really in a place to be anyone’s friend.

I wonder, though, because I’m a terrible person who finds opportunities for Suffering even in things that should be entirely free of it, whether Rand-after-Dragonmount is in a better place to be anyone’s friend. I think yes, because that was very much the point, but I feel like there’s a bittersweet potential to it where ascendance is just as bad as damnation for maintaining a normal social life.

Or, less flippantly, there’s a strange loneliness to the messiah’s role, to being a force of nature and a champion of fate as much as or more than a man. He is known to all and all look to him and he stands, surrounded, at the centre, and he has learned to see the hope and promise in that rather than just the despair but there is still the sense of being alone on a mountain, alone on a pedestal, existing alone on a level that is not quite human but not quite divinity, touching all but no longer, quite, as a peer. Forces of nature don’t have best friends, even if they turn towards benevolence.

I mean, I’m spitballing here, because I’ve seen exactly one chapter of Rand-after-Dragonmount, and in fairness he seemed at peace with himself and his role now, but I still can’t help but wonder. And by wonder I mean wish. Because see above re: Suffering.

I guess mostly what I’m looking for is something along the series-standard line of you can’t go back, you can only go forward. And even when forward is better, even when forward is healing, even when forward is hope, it’s not the same as what you had or who you were before, and sometimes there is a sadness to that.

Sorry, this is a Perrin chapter and here I am going on about Rand, but I just… like thinking about all the friendships and relationships between all these characters, and how they change over time, and how those ties can be so altered and sometimes strained and yet even then they can also be what saves them all.

(“My best friend turned into the world.” “That’s rough buddy.”)

Faile was back now, and it appeared that his truce with Berelain was over.

NO.

*throws book at wall*

WHY. Damn it I was so glad when that finally died and Perrin and Berelain got to just work together and appreciate each other’s competence! Why must we return to this? Don’t you know that you can’t go back; you can only go forwards? WHY THIS. WHY ME.

The Prophet was dead, killed by bandits. Well, perhaps that was a fitting end for him, but Perrin still felt he’d failed.

Probably just because he doesn’t know that Masema was Faile-d.

I’m sorry. I’ll see myself out.

(That’s a lie; you’re just going to have to put up with me and my bad puns for at least another book).

His duty was done, the Prophet seen to, Alliandre’s allegiance secure. Only, Perrin felt as if something were still very wrong. He fingered the blacksmith’s puzzle in his pocket. To understand something… you have to figure out its parts…

Because you’ve only done the middlegame part of your duty, Perrin! You still have to get ready for the ending! And that means… *dramatic hammerstroke* forging. But, you know, metaphorically.

Perrin feels awkward around Faile now because when you’ve focused your entire life and self and nation, waking and sleeping, on achieving a single goal, and rewritten your entire world around that goal, and then you do achieve it, it’s sometimes hard to know what to do with the reality of having achieved it, of having that person back at your side but an emptiness ahead of you where the idea of them once occupied everything. Or at least that’s my suspicion but Perrin when this is all over you may want to, I don’t know, talk to someone about it.

Seriously, a qualified therapist could make a killing setting up shop in this world.

“I should start turning them away.”

“I suspect they’d find their way back to our force anyway.”

“Why should they? I could leave orders.”

“You can’t give orders to the Pattern itself, my husband.”

Perrin: “WATCH ME.”

Maybe you could ask Rand to, as a favour? He seems to be on good terms with the Pattern these days. Er. These days in his timeline, I mean.

Yes, Perrin, this is you being ta’veren. Or have you been living under a rock for the last several books? Denial’s not going to last you much longer.

“And so coopers learn the sword,” Faile said, “and find they have a talent for it. Masons who never thought of fighting back against the Shaido now train with the quarterstaff.”

It’s such a ploughshares-to-swords image, and I still just love the way this is how Perrin’s ta’veren-ness manifests specifically: the one who was so careful lest he hurt someone, the one who tries so hard to deny his capacity for anger and ferocity, the one drawn to the Way of the Leaf and a dream of peace, is the one to cause that rippling of peace into war, farmers into soldiers, a quiet nation into a waiting army.

Because on one level there’s the sadness of it, of the only one who returns home bringing that home back out into the world with him and leaving it forever changed, of the one who wants gentleness rousing a people to follow and fight… but even that then ties into the deeper issue of acceptance. Of realising that the potential has always been there – for a ploughshare to be a sword or a blacksmith to be a warrior, or a man to be a wolf or a town to be an army – and that drawing that potential out and allowing it to exist and be used doesn’t negate what was there before. That man and wolf can coexist, that anger does not preclude gentleness, that fighting a war for survival does not negate the hope, one day, of peace.

And so Perrin’s ta’veren power becomes almost another level in playing out what he will eventually need to accept about himself. Just as Rand’s darkness and then light spread out to touch the world around him, it’s as if Perrin’s lack of acceptance of aspects of himself keep these people from truly coming together (the dreams of forging things that don’t come out right), whereas if he can accept what he is, and accept all parts of himself, forge them into unity, then the part of the world he affects – the people who follow him – will be forged together as well.

At least he acknowledges to himself that Faile’s right about this one. That’s a good step.

“Once we have gateways again, I’ll send these people to their proper places. I’m not gathering an army.”

Sigh. Or not. Two steps forward, one step back.

Understand the metal and the tools and the puzzle in your hands, Perrin. Look at what you have. Not at what you wish you had, or think you should have. Look at what the pieces can and need to be made into, rather than forcing them into what you want them to be made into.

“A man’s got to see a thing for what it is. No sense in calling a buckle a hinge or calling a nail a horseshoe.”

The hilarious thing here is that he’s making my point, whilst thinking he’s disproving it. Because Perrin, seeing a thing for what it is means looking at all these people around you and realising you’re their leader and they’re following you and you’re headed for Tarmon Gai’don. No sense calling a buckle a hinge, or an army a random group of refugees. (Well, they are that, too. But if you try to return them home now, soon they will have no home at all).

I do appreciate that he sees and acknowledges some of his flaws from when Faile was gone. He’s a little too hard on himself in places, and misses out others, but it’s a kind of humility and self-awareness and ability to recognise where he could be better that I like.

“It’s not [Berelain’s] fault,” Perrin said. If I’d been able to think of it, I’d have stopped the rumours dead. But I didn’t. Now I’ve got to sleep in the bed I made for myself.”

Perhaps not quite the idiom I’d have chosen in this particular instance, Perrin, but…

When she’d been a captive, nothing had mattered to him but recovering her. Nothing. It didn’t matter who had needed his help, or what orders he’d been given. […]

He realised now how dangerous his actions had been. Trouble was, he’d take those same actions again. He didn’t regret what he’d done, not for a moment.

Well… partial credit for self-awareness, I suppose?

Frustrating as this is, though, it also feels quite realistic. And there’s a certain kind of maturity in the devastating honesty it takes to look at something you’ve done and say ‘I shouldn’t have done that, but in the same situation I’d make those same choices again’. Even if it’s a mistake, being able to acknowledge that about yourself is… impressive.

You couldn’t make a drawknife into a horseshoe by painting it, or by calling it something different.

Yeah, and you can’t make a ta’veren lord, leader, wolfbrother, and warrior back into a simple blacksmith’s apprentice boy by sheer force of denial, but don’t let that stop you.

“I’ve been thinking on this for the last few weeks, and – odd though it seems – I believe my captivity may have been precisely what we needed. Both of us.”

*throws book against wall and lets out an Elayne-like scream of pure rage*

ARGH.

WHY.

‘It’s fine, Perrin, you see I actually think it’s good that I was just used as a plot device to further your character development because I was tossed a bit of character development as a last-minute consolation prize, so really it’s all good!’

Sigh. Okay. I mean, in-story and in-character… I get it. It’s over now, it’s past, and they’re both trying to move on, and Faile has always been one to try to find a pragmatic angle – even an optimistic one – on a situation. And she’s strong enough to say this and make it sound (almost) believable. To look back on harsh lessons learned in harsher circumstances and appreciate the fires that forged her.

Which of course puts me in mind of Rand and his if a sword had memory, it might be grateful to the forge fire, but never fond of it ‘gratitude’ towards his imprisonment in Far Madding, but with Rand and that thought, we are given fairly obvious narrative cues that point to ‘yikes, Rand, that’s maybe not the healthiest of responses to trauma’, and we know full well that we’re not supposed to think ‘ah, yes, being locked in a cell with his worst nightmares was good for his character development so everything’s fine’. (Which is not to say we can’t enjoy it, because sometimes you just want to see your favourite character broken and bleeding and chained to a wall, but that’s uh. Neither here nor there).

But here, it’s as if we’re supposed to take Faile at face value. As if we’re supposed to nod and think ‘yeah, actually, that probably wasn’t fun but it was What She Needed’ (which… wow that is an entire pile of yikes, because yes, what a female character in this genre needs is to be held captive and sexually coerced and deprived of all agency… is maybe not a point you want to be making?). It feels like trying to hang a lampshade on that travesty of a plotline and say ‘but look! It brought them both character development! So it’s fine!’

Anyway I’m still just bitter about the way Faile has been used as a plot device for Perrin’s character development across the last few books, and this… while entirely understandable from a character and story perspective, from an external perspective feels like salt in the damn wound.

Moving on.

*

To Galad, apparently.

Galad who is bound and in pain after being tortured. I’m listening.

(Why am I like this)

All was dark around him, but pinprick lights shone in the sky. Stars? It had been overcast for so long.

Huh. There’s something almost sweet about how closely this echoes that chapter in TGS when Gawyn is wishing he could see the stars. I mean I’m certain it’s not actually intentional because it’s a spurious connection at best, but it’s just a kind of sweet-sad note of similarity between two brothers who haven’t seen each other since they both got lost trying to find their way, and are still trying and wishing, just for a moment, for the stars for guidance.

They’re not actually stars, just pinpricks in the tent, but that’s beside the point.

What’s not beside the point is the inventory of Galad’s wounds because honestly, it’s as if everything from then he did dance, all his grace turned in an instant to fluid death onwards has been a targeted attack on me as a person by going down a list of all the things I like to see in a character and going ‘do you like him now? What about now? What about now?’ and I’m mad about it.

Galad did not fear death or pain. He had made the right choices. It was unfortunate that he’d needed to leave the Questioners in charge; they were controlled by the Seanchan. However, there had been no other option, not after he’d walked into Asunawa’s hands.

I’m not sure why I find it so fitting that Galad’s experience at Asunawa’s hands is not unlike Morgase’s in the end, but something about it just works for me. There’s a whole set of connections here that this bookends, between the two of them and their fall from and rise to power, and choices, and Valda and Asunawa and the Seanchan, and for whatever reason it feels satisfying to have this coming to an end much like it began. Though Galad is spared Morgase’s…………… choice. But I suppose there’s almost an irony here in him avenging Morgase in one way but then sharing her fate in another.

Or maybe it’s just back to the classic ‘I like fictional characters in pain’.

Soon the Questioners would come for him, and then the true price for saving his men would be exacted with their hooks and knives. He had been aware of that price when he’d made his decision. In a way, he had won, for he had manipulated the situation best.

STOP. TRYING. TO. MAKE. ME. LIKE. GALAD. DAMODRED.

I just. Damn it. This is such a good look! And yet it’s Galad!

Standing, beaten but unflinching, determined and himself, ready to face whatever they do to him. Well. That’s how Morgase began, too.

Oh hey it’s his friends! Which means probably no more torturing of Galad, which is kind of a shame (I’m sorry), but is also not entirely unexpected.

Oh wow Asunawa’s dead. Okay. Can’t say he’ll be missed, though it’s just a shame Morgase didn’t get to kill either him or Valda herself. Ah well, can’t have everything.

And it wasn’t Galad’s men who killed him, so now he has won the Questioners to him as well. Questions of Leadership indeed. I see what you did there.

It is an interesting contrast in this chapter, to watch Perrin constantly second-guessing or trying to deny his leadership, set against Galad just… accepting his.

I will give Galad this: he has won his leadership by being entirely and unrelentingly himself, and true to his convictions, and standing, despite everything thrown at him, despite the corruption around him, as a determined and unassailable symbol of what the Children of the Light should be. What they can be. He doesn’t try to steal power, doesn’t outright challenge their ways; he just leads quite literally by sheer force of example.

Galad nodded. “You accept me as Lord Captain Commander?”

But also, I just have to remind everyone that he’s buck-ass naked throughout this entire scene, and some juvenile part of me finds that absolutely hilarious.

“We were forced to kill a third of those who wore the red shepherd’s crook of the Hand of the Light.”

What a pity. No, really. I’m weeping. How sad. Terrible.

None of them asked whether he needed rest, though Trom did look worried.

Again! Characters beaten and exhausted and hiding their pain in order to just move forward is a whole Thing, and putting that on Galad and throwing it at me is just unfair.

Galad didn’t feel wise or strong enough to bear the title he did. But the Children had made their decision.

The Light would protect them for it.

(The fact that ‘Galad’ means ‘light’ in Sindarin is just an added bonus here, really).

But I like the way his thinking about this runs: he doesn’t feel wise or strong enough, but that’s not the part that matters. The part that matters is that they chose him. As Galad sees it, what makes a leader isn’t what the leader thinks of himself, but merely the fact that others choose to follow.

He is their leader now, and whether he wants to be or not, whether he feels up to it or not, is irrelevant. There’s an interesting question here around choices, and the lack thereof – that he has no choice, in a way, but to lead. Because whether or not he wants to, people have decided to follow him, and so by definition he is their leader now. And so the only thing to do, because it’s the right thing to do, is to lead them as well as he can.

Next (ToM ch 3) Previous (ToM ch 1)

[shoutosteakettle]

so technically right now we are at 499, but as someone who has little to no self-control or patience i’ve decided we are doing this right now. every time we hit a milestone i make sure to include the we or the us, because even though i might be the one doing all the writing or at least use to, there would be no way i could be where i am right now without you guys, so for what feels like the millionth time, i want to thank you guys. thank you for sticking with me through my highs and my lows. thank you for being there to catch me after all the times that i jumped. thank you for being the voice of reason guiding me away from my less than sensible choices. and thank you for being the light that shone brightest during my darkest moments.

you guys can just think of this celebration as a way for me to say thank you.

so i guess this banner is more appropriate.

anyways, i’m sure i already bored you to death with the sappy stuff, so let’s get to the fun stuff!

instead of one night where you guys send in request and i write drabbles, i’m not doing that at all. i have a list of different things that you request! i kinda went all out here, so i’m hoping you guys do the same! feel free to request as many times as you want for everything! i think i used to many exclamation marks! i’m just excited! 

first activity is matchups, i just need to know a couple of things about you so i can match your bnha counterpart :)

- gender

- sexual orientation

- how your friends would describe your personality

- how you would spend a day off

- your zodiac sign

- your favorite genre of music

- and lastly, your biggest turn off

so here are some prompts for fluff/angst headcannons! you can pick as many prompts from each alphabet as you want and the same for the characters, just remember not to go crazy with it and request all forty-eight letters with all of class 1-A.

fluff-abet

attractive - what do they find attractive about the other?

baby - do they want a family? why/why not?

cuddle - how do they cuddle?

dates - what are dates with them like?

everything - you are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

feelings - when did they know they were in love?

gentle - are they gentle? If so, how?

hands - how do they like to hold hands?

impression - what was their first impression?

jealousy - do they get jealous?

kiss - how do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?

love - who says ‘I love you’ first?

memory - what’s their favourite memory together?

nickel - do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?

orange - what colour reminds them of their other half?

pet names - what pet names do they use?

quaint - what is their favourite non-modern thing?

rainy day - what do they like to do on a rainy day?

sad - how do they cheer themselves/others up?

talking - what do they like to talk about?

unencumbered - what helps them relax?

vaunt - what do they like to show off? What are they proud of?

wedding - when, how, where do they propose?

xylophone - what’s their song?

yes - do they ever think of getting married/proposing?

zebra - if they wanted a pet, what would they get?

anst-abet ignore the fact that this might just be more fluff

accident - would they blame themselves if you died in an work related accident (assuming you’re both pros)?

bad habits - something their s/o wish they would stop doing?

crying - are they much of a crier?

distance  - how are they at long distance relationships?

emotion - what’s the emotion they tend to push away the most?

frustrated - what would it take to push them over the edge?

guilt - how do they deal with guilt cause by a mistake on their end?

heartbreak - how would they deal with a break up?

insecurities - how do they make you feel better about your flaws (vice versa)?

joyless - what’s something that makes them sad?

kill - would they kill for revenge?

lies - how do they react when you lie to them?

mistakes - how do they make up after a fight?

nightmare - how do they help you back to sleep after a nightmare?

offended - you offend them without knowing, how do they deal?

purgatory - how would they bring up the fact that you guys haven’t been, ahem, intimate in a while?

qualify - what part of themselves do they see as dangerous?

rejection -  how do they handle being rejected after professing their love to you?

sorrow - would they feel empty after your death?

traitor - how do they react to finding out you cheated on them?

urge - how badly do they get the urge to see you after separating?

vent - How do they get rid of feelings they find unnecessary?

woes - how do they cope with problems outside of your relationship?

x-ray - what makes them transparent? How obvious can they get around something they hate?

yearn - do old memories make them yearn for your touch?

(clock strikes) zero - how do they spend their last moments with their s/o? 

that’s right, there aren’t prompts for drabbles because i have decided it is impossible for me to write those. whenever i’m given an idea for a fic i want to explore it to it’s fullest and make sure that i do it justice. so that’s why for any and all requests i get for fics will have a minimum word count of one thousand. it’s most likely that i won’t get these done until i’m old and grey and hanging out with my grandkids, so bear with me.

so to request you pick a number from either the fluff or angst column, and then a letter from the list of settings (the settings part is completely optional though). so for example, fluff 19k with shou or angst -26e w/ zuzu or just angst 6 with toshi.

fluffy fluff

1. “i didn’t mean to wake you.”

2. “stay? just until i fall asleep.”

3. “i’m taking you home now.”

4. “i missed you so much.”

5. “i think you broke my nose!”

6. “if it makes you feel better, i’ll let you tell people you won against me.”

7. “just shut up and kiss me!”

8. “sleep over? please?”

9. “give me attention!”

10. “can you do anything without my help?”

11. “you’re jealous!”

12. “i’m here for you.”

13. “i love how soft your lips are.”

14. “so, uh, I locked the keys in the car.”

15. “did you put our cat in a onesie?”

16. “are you blushing? gross.”

17. “aren’t we supposed to be working?”

18. “i swear, if you took my leftovers, I will rip you limb from limb.”

19. “do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?”

20. “i swear i’m not sick.”

21. “stop being grumpy, it’s lame.”

22. “is there a reason you’re blushing like that?”

23. “where did you come from?”

24. “don’t get up. I’m comfortable like this.”

25. “sharing is caring.”

ansgty angst

1.  “ you’re so used to being mistreated. ”

2. "sit down for a minute. please.”

3. “please don’t lie to me again, i can’t take it.”

4. “you changed me.”

5. “who did this to you?”

6. “the pain will always be there.”

7. “this.. this is all your fault!”

8. “ i was never what you wanted. ”

9. “did this mean anything to you? did i mean anything to you?”

10. “ this was never love. ”

11. “ you’ve gotten so used to being hurt that happiness scares you. ”

12. “why are you lying to me?”

13. “don’t come in.”

14. “i don’t even remember the last time you told me you loved me.”

15. “who was your first?”

16. “who was that?”

17. “what happened to us?” 

18. “i was forced to survive in your absence.”

19. “i don’t like the person you’ve become.”

20. “i’m sorry, but I’m not sorry.”

21. “can you shut up for once in your life?”

22. “i do not want you here.”

23. “i’m worried about you.”

24. “you have no one on your side now.”

25. “why are there bruises all over your face?”

settings ( so, there are 26 letters in the alphabet so i cut out the most useless one, k. it’s really just a low budget version of the letter c.)

a. in the rain

b. in a vehicle

c. in the street

d. on the sidewalk

e. in the bath

f. in the kitchen

g. in the snow

h. in a movie theater

i. in the moonlight

j. by the river

l. in the water

m. in the bedroom

n. in a bar

o. at a party

p. at the other’s place

q. by a campfire

r. in a cheap hotel room

s. it a cabin in the woods

t. in your garden

u. at a wedding 

v. in the office

w. in a book store

x. at the hospital

y. at a children's birthday party

z. in an abandon high school

i feel the need to remind you guys that i write for characters outside of shouto. lmao i know you guys love him and i do to, but let’s spice it up some.

have fun requesting guys, and one last time i just want to say thank you for being here :)

[allyvampirelass29]

The Besiege of Bruce Wayne McQueen

A NOS4A2 Review By: Allyssa J. Watkins

I didn't say you could get up I'll swing the hammer back Until you've had enough Your armor cracking, amidst your son's frantic call Tell me, Victoria Who's the Strongest Creative of them all? Bones breaking You cower before me shaking As I wield my blunt instrument without relent You've had your fun, Bad Mother I hope you've gallivanted to your heart's content I am the magic your beautiful boy has so long lacked Bruce Wayne best behave Or I'll break his mother's back Lost Boys belong in Neverland Consider me, his Peter Pan You don't care for him like I can Neglect and endangerment is the McQueen way, isn't it? You selfish fake C'mon Vic He's safer with his Uncle Manx You ungrateful Brat....... Just say THANKS!!!!

Three words. PULSE. POUNDING. PHENOMENAL!!!!!!! I write this wide-eyed and shell-shocked, a trembling wreck of electric emotion, the prevalent being pure, paralyzing BLISS!!!! DAMN, NOS4A2 you are SPOILING us!!!! Is it Christmas!? Last week I watched the glowing potential of the ascending firework disappear, and just as I lamented its predicted fizzle out, it SHATTERED the skies around me with an explosion of colours brighter and more vivid than anything I've ever seen, in a deafening ROAR!!!! HOLY SMASH!!! I LOVED THIS EPISODE, so much so, that I feel like I lived it, every death defying second, so ALIVE with the rawest emotion, the most terrifyingly beautiful villainy, my every sense heightened, and in this bloody besiege for one, Bruce Wayne McQueen, our spectacular cast shines BLINDING, giving their best, and most authentic performances of the series. Prepare yourselves for a Lake House excursion, you will NEVER forget!!!!

I LOVED how this episode sent us sprawling right into the action, and I was so so so wrong about the fantastic build-up of the suspense from last week going to waste, because it lit the fuse for one HELL of a firework display. Where last week didn't hit me quite hard enough, this episode STRUCK like LIGHTNING, electrifying every vein, and barely taken breath. The fight scene....... yes, you know the one, the all out, claws drawn, hammer wielding, haughty taunting, smoulder and slashing duel to the death was pure, screaming, POETRY!!! It's ART, the most electric, ENTHRALLING, aria of wit and savagery, it's the single most INTOXICATING scene, not just in an episode full of instant iconic images, but of the ENTIRE series.

Vic VS Manx, a faceoff fraught with revenge and raw energy, no special powers, no knives even, just hurling razor-edged words, fighting, grappling, scraping, nothing but an autopsy hammer between the two of them, was MESMERIZING!!! Charlie is a black, roiling wave of breathtaking rage, coming down on his worst enemy like hurricane thunder, with a ruthless, ferocity, such as we have never before seen. I loved every second, even as I fell apart at the seams, hand clasped over my mouth, trying not to scream. While some might say this head on collision lacked his usual finesse and refined showmanship, I must vehemently disagree. How clever of the writers to give us a Charlie driven to the verge, snapping, shaking off his gentleman's cape, to reveal his sharpest edge, and rawest fury, not to mention darkest intent. Charlie's done playing the game....... he's ready to win, to take the queen. Or in this case, the prince.

The juxtaposition of his elegantly brandished wit, and the brutality of his swiftly dealt blows, is pure, and utter genius, not to mention one hundred percent CHARLIE!!! I grinned like a lovesick schoolgirl when he told Vic, "I hope you have galivanted to your heart's content." I'm swooning, even as I write that, his dialogue was on point, as the kids say, as perfectly tailored to his elegant malevolence, his beautiful wickedness, as that magnificent chauffer's coat!!! Also, forgive me my shameless fawning, but can we TALK about his shiny, raven especially gorgeous HAIR during this episode!? Whether it's falling wild in his eyes, as he draws back his blood-thirsty hammer, or hanging in dark, feathery waves, as he smirks, leaning over his seemingly vanquished nemesis, Charlie's iconic silken strands were as deadly as his backswing, drawing my eye, and stoking my passion something fierce!

I loved how he laid it all out for her in his Malicious Manx Rhetoric, and one of the things I desperately love about Charlie, is how he can speak such vulnerable truth, even in the midst, of a rasping seethe. He explains it all, passes his sentence, this is why you don't deserve him, this is what I'm going to do, and why you can't stop me, even as he pounds the hammer against her back, oblivious to the protective armor, cleverly concealed in her biker jacket, due to some quick thinking, and a fun, surprising telepathic assist from the miniature McQueen. "No Mom, just play dead......" I loved all the nerves Charlie touched on, not just physical nerves, but the exposed, emotional ones as well. He knows how insecure Vic has felt, about the kind of mother she's been, her shortcomings, her fear about not being good for him, not able to love him like she should, provide for him, and Charlie exploits that to profound perfection. "You won't be able to ride away from your Beautiful Boy. He'll call you, sometimes, from Christmasland, and you will see...... He's BETTER with me!!!"

But the thing that shook me the most, was the bleeding truth of his words as he told her, "That's what you do, Victoria, you run. Even from the things that you LOVE!" WOW Charlie....... the depth, the piercing insight in that quote still gives me chills like mad, and it's a searing revelation. I also marveled at Charlie's outright admission of having been in love with Vic, which I'd always suspected, especially after Parnassus, but he's never just come out and said it, and definitely not to her face. "It's a dangerous game...... endeavoring to love Vic McQueen, I found that out myself with Craig, after you set us both on FIRE." I love how he snuck that in there, how he makes Craig and himself out to be HER victims, and I think Charlie's relationship status with Vic will always be, "It's Complicated," because while she holds a special fascination for him, most of her allure lies in the challenge. What he loves is the most about Vic is hating her. Hell hath no fury like Charlie Manx scorned.

You know what else, was just....... a THRILLING chill!? After giving her a good and proper thrashing, and tongue-lashing, Charlie's voice is a spiteful growl as he rasps furious, "Just say THANKS!!!" I could NOT breathe!! WOW........ What SPLENDID writing!!! It's not enough for Vic to lie there, and take her punishment, the punishment that in Charlie's eyes she so obviously deserves, but he demands her thanks as well, for taking her only child, reprimanding her wicked, wanton ways, sparing her from having to be a bad mother. "If you had a grateful bone in your body, you'd thank me......" Charlie has always seen himself as the hero of NOS4A2, saving children from their broken homes, and lonely lives, and if you told him point blank he was actually the villain, the antagonist, he'd scoff in your face. This idea that he's being generous, actually helping Vic, even as he enacts his ultimate revenge speaks volumes to that, and I loved it. He even tells her young son, with such soothe, "Don't worry........ She can never hurt you again."

That being said, I also loved how Vic fearlessly turned the tables on our handsome phantom, dropping the pretense of excruciating pain to strike hard, breaking Charlie's leg, and leaving a nasty gash across his lovely cheek, before reigning down hell on the Wraith. This was especially jaw-dropping for me, since I had written a scene eerily similar, over a YEAR ago, in my NOS4A2 Series, and it was such a giddy, breathless joy, to see it all play out, exactly as I had imagined it!!! I loved how Vic gives Charlie his insisted upon thank you, after making her move, even though, yes, I was a little heartsick, seeing that impossibly perfect face so drastically marred. The warm, happy, fuzzy feel of Wayne's childhood memories, interspersed with the impassioned violence was yet another INSPIRED, and poignant stroke of brilliance, and in my opinion made the scene even more powerful and intense. It also inspired a fascinating theory....... That Wayne is a Strong Creative, that can speak through his memories telepathically to his mother. There are several instances in, "Bruce Wayne McQueen," where our adorable title character floods his mother's mind with happier times, and words of wisdom. Yes, Vic is a powerful Creative, and this could very well be her own doing, but as she's never been one for sentiment before, something tells me Wayne is speaking to her, calming her down, keeping her safe.

This episode is a masterwork of action and suspense, a transformative audience EXPERIENCE. You're in the Wraith with Charlie and Wayne, sitting on the edge of the backseat, you're treading water, traumatized with Vic, as the bullets whizz past you under the surface, flinching with every shot Bing fires, and you're pressed up against the window with Wayne, hands on the glass, as his mother sobs her devastated goodbye, promising to find him, her stricken eyes so full of love, knowing she has to leave him, if ever she'll have the chance to fight again. It's so beautifully executed, every shot, drawing us into our creative heroes' journey with immersive cinematography. It's unique to any other episode that has come before, and stands out as a groundbreaking method of emotional storytelling.

I must say this though....... This episode was as close to achingly perfect as you can get, right up there with Sleigh House, a MAGIC that I never EVER thought anything in my natural life could touch, but as much enamour as I feel, there were a few slightly detracting flaws. I absolutely LOVED the shifts between different points of view, it may be an unpopular opinion, but I thought that was another daring risk, that definitely paid off. My issue however, lies in the repeated events from one person's point of view to the next. I felt that the needless repetition slowed down the breakneck action, throwing a kink in the timeline. There were more than a few times where I was like WAIT, did that happen before or after what we've just seen!? I appreciate that they were trying to give us a new vantage point to what we'd just witnessed, maybe even belabor the moment for dramatic effect, but it ate up valuable runtime, and undercut the flow in my opinion, as well as shortchanged the suspense, knowing full well what was going to happen, because we'd already seen it from another character's point of view! How much better to show a scene from one perspective, and then jump right into the consequent action with the change to the next? How much MORE would we have gotten to see!?!? Had they done that, then this episode would have surpassed even Sleigh House, my ultimate ideal.

Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy getting to see what happened in the car with the boys, during Vic's ride through the woods. I LOVED how Charlie, ever the paternal guardian, was so taxed by Wayne's vehement cries, and frantic banging on the windows, that he says, in true exhausted parent fashion, "Please Wayne, just a small nap......" There were times that the rewind worked, but most times, I just wanted to get on with the story. Another grievance....... What the HELL are the Wraith's windows made of!? Yes, I understand that this is a supernatural, sentient car, but SERIOUSLY!!!! No amount of force, be it from a swung wrench, or slammed autopsy hammer, or SPEEDING bullet, could shatter even one of the Wraith's windows. Yes, I know it added to the suspense, watching both parents try desperately, and still fail to free their son, but it detracted from the reality, suspending my suspension of disbelief. They should have been able to at least break ONE!!!

I was also a tad bit disappointed with The Hour Glass Man, how about you guys? The way Abe set him up to be this heavy hitter, this "Fixer," in the Dark Creative World, I was so excited to see his knife and how it worked!!! At the beginning of the episode, our calm, sharply-dressed secondary villain, uses an hour glass, not to stop time, not to rewind time, not to alter time, but....... to hypnotize the two feds long enough to assault the lake house, SHOOTING Chris McQueen in the leg, before turning the gun on themselves. Yes, it was only our first look, and I'm sure our man of unsolved mystery has more than a few tricks up his ironed sleeves, he isn't in high demand for nothing, but....... as he was supposed to be Charlie's ace in the hole, I had prepared myself for something truly mind-boggling, something more than just compulsion, an everyday occurrence on The Vampire Diaries. Even in his second go at Vic, he pulls a Manx, and just hits her with his far less supernatural SUV. I knew something was up, the way Charlie didn't veer, and try to run Vic off the road as she pursued him on her new motorcycle, firing shots into the driver side window. He let her ride alongside him, so calm, and I KNEW he was leading her into a trap, and leading me straight into my second disappointment with The Hour Glass Man. I don't know, even though it got the job done, and landed her in the hospital, him hitting her with the SUV just felt....... underwhelming, which this episode is definitely NOT.

The hidden hero of "Bruce Wayne McQueen," is by far Chris Freaking McQueen, who has redeemed himself in my eyes through his fearless fight, both to stay sober for his daughter, and to keep her from losing her son. Not gonna lie guys, I was HORRIFIED, when I thought the Feds killed him at the beginning of the episode, and for the longest time after he got shot I was like DON'T you dare FREAKING kill Chris, oh god, is Chris dead!? A question to which there is no answer until nearly the end of the episode. Vic, still treading water underneath the dock, shakes violently as she hears the gunshots go off a little too close, and I, myself, was scared as HELL, thinking Bing was firing straight down, having discovered her. A horrible moment, as the blood falls thick from between the wooden slats of the dock, directly onto Vic's forehead. And then....... Chris Freaking McQueen, like a gun wielding white knight charges the sick BASTARD, Bing Partridge, shooting him repeatedly, although, to our collective chagrin, does not kill him!!! Seriously. Somebody gut that Creepster Pervert like a fish!!! Chris even takes on Charlie all by himself, firing at the Wraith, as it speeds off to my complete and utter delight WITHOUT Bing Partridge leaving him behind, FINALLY!!! You GO, Charlie, time to sever ties with that obnoxious deadweight.

Where this episode uncovers Charlie in his most heightened, dangerous state, raw and intense, Bing is portrayed at his detestable WORST, and my hatred for this hulking henchman was infinite. I HATE the way he is with Wayne, it literally made me sick to my stomach. Charlie is so sweet and gentle, paternal, and patient with our dear little Bats, doting upon him, and you can tell how excited he is to be his father, how this particular child, Vic's only son, is the second most important entry into Christmasland, after his own daughter. I'm still dyyyying from the way he said, "You and I have been dreaming about each other, haven't we?" How PRECIOUS!!! In counterpart, Bing is disgustingly abusive, grabbing him up off the ground, dangling him by his arm, threatening to shoot him, bite him, calling Wayne a, "pretty girl," (GOD, YOU SICKO!!!!) and I just couldn't stand it, I was so damn furious, I couldn't see straight, and I'm DONE with Bing, I want to put a hit out on that lewd, child abusing, BASTARD!!! It would seem Charlie is done with him too, leaving him behind to die, and I especially enjoyed that cleverly veiled threat in the car, Bing droning on and on about what he wants to do when he gets to Christmasland, and Charlie smirking with a coy mention of a special feast. Yeah...... I see what you did there, Babe. It's time to hang a Partridge, swinging from a pear tree.

Another thing I particularly loved about this episode, was that it had the unique symmetry of beginning and ending in the hospital, and in both instances, Wayne's birth, and the aftermath of his abduction, Vic loses him. Even as a newborn, after a harrowing C-section, Vic knows something is wrong, crying out to the nurses, as they do CPR on the tender little babe, and after only just bringing him into the world, Vic already has to face the threat of one without him. That was beautifully mirrored in the final, heartbreaking scene, when Vic, seeing her boyfriend, and father in hospital beds from her own, but no Wayne, realizes, with abject terror, her son is gone. Her worst fear, the ONE man she'd fought for eight years to protect him from, has taken him. BEAUTIFUL, heart-wrenching, devastatingly good acting from Ashleigh, the desolate sobs, as her mother holds her in her arms, the hopelessness, and fear in her eyes. It shattered me.

An all time high for NOS4A2, "Bruce Wayne McQueen," holds all the emotional drama, and high risk of a proper Season Finale, and we're only FIVE episodes in!!!! If it's THIS good, this early in the story, I can't even imagine what lays in wait, as the Wraith races away with a very special boy in tow. Hold on, Strong Creatives....... Our WILDEST dreams are about to come true.........

[breathlester]

Play date

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

summary: Dan and Phil need a night off parenthood duties, so they leave their baby son with Phil’s mum and make reservations at a nice restaurant. Only things don’t really go to plan…

genre/themes: parenting, fluff, smut

content warnings: mild sexual content

“Y’know-,” Phil says mid yawn and stretched halfway across the table. “Y’know what we need?”

Dan doesn’t respond, face hanging so low above his mug of coffee he’s inhaling it rather than drinking.

It’s seven in the morning and neither of them have slept for more than three hours.

There was a time when three hours of sleep would have been fine with them. There was also a time when getting up at seven would have been intolerable - at least for Dan - but those times have passed, and though neither of them says it, they are both immensely thankful for this short while of peace and quiet that only the early morning grants them.

Phil tries again, this time lifting his face off his arms. “Dan, you know what we need?“

The other man makes a grumbling noise, not looking up. His hair is a mess of tangled brown curls and his lids are so heavy Phil can barely make out his eyes.

“We need a day off,” he declares.

There are two bowls of cereal on the table in front of them that Phil has managed to pour in his overtired state. He’s forgotten milk and spoons, which proves handy now as Dan extends one hand and shows a bunch of dry cereal into his mouth.

Phil listens to the crunch, crunch of his teeth, then his inevitable cough as he swallows too many shreddies at a time.

“You think?,” Dan replies finally, lifting his mug with a shaking hand to take a careful sip.

His brown eyes blink at Phil, small and blood-shot.

Phil drapes one arm across the high-chair next to him to be able to interlace their fingers, cracking the first tiny smile of the day as Dan’s wedding band presses cold against his skin.

For a while neither of them says anything else, as Dan sips his coffee in silence and Phil is content for the moment playing with his fingers, his head resting on the table again.

He doesn’t realize he’s fallen asleep until said fingers weave through his hair and tickle him awake.

A mewling noise slips off his tongue and he frowns, hearing Dan giggle softly. It takes the greatest effort to crack his eyes open again and he yawns so wide he can feel his jaw click unpleasantly.

“Did you hear what I said?,” Dan asks, seeming slightly more awake now that he’s had his daily dose of caffeine. “I think you’re right. We do need a day off. And a night, for that matter. We haven’t slept through in a week.“

Phil smiles up at him, feeling giddy at the mere idea, until doubts and a sense of guilt seep into his mind. “Are you sure we can do that, though? Just leave him with somebody? Wouldn’t he get -“

Dan interrupts him before he can start to obsess. “Phil, he’ll be fine. He’s been without us before, remember?“

“You mean when we were sent on a BBC thing late at night and he was supposed to stay with my mum until the next day but you got so anxious we drove all the way up north afterwards and picked him up at 4 in the morning?“

Dan blushes and looks down, fiddling with his cuticles. “Yeah, well, he was only a baby then. Now he’s a toddler and we know better.“

Phil catches his hand and pulls it away, up to his mouth so he can kiss Dan’s maltreated fingernails as a silent ‘don’t do that’.

“Let’s call my mum later?,” he suggests. “She’s been meaning to visit us in a while; we could have her over for dinner tomorrow and let her take Charlie home. Then we can take off Friday and go up north on the weekend. I haven’t seen my dad in a bit anyway.“

Dan closes his eyes and sighs happily as Phil’s lips move to the back of his hand, pressing a soft kiss there.

“Sounds like a plan. We should probably give her a fair warning though…“

-

“Sounds to me like he’s moving on to his defiant phase now,” Kath says on the phone. “You boys better prepare yourself for some mean temper tantrums.“

Dan’s slouched on the sofa, forming a new crease on their fairly new piece of furniture. He’d brushed off Phil’s attempts at critique with the argument that he needed to break it in.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. The paediatrician said so, too. The terrible twos and all.“

“Oh, Phil was bad with those. I don’t quite know how I survived.“

Dan bites back a grin, watching Phil stack lego towers on the lounge floor, looking quite a bit more enthusiastic about the building exercise than their small son who’s sat next to him. “Was he? I can hardly see that.“

„Yeah, he’s playing Mr Innocent now. You’d better watch him with Charlie though, I have a feeling he might turn out just as indulgent as his dad used to be. It’s no good for a child to be spoiled.“

Phil looks up questioningly when he feels Dan’s eyes on him. Dan puts him off with a wave of his hand, but Phil pushes out his lower lip and reaches out one hand for the phone.

Dan chuckles. „Speaking of two-year olds – your thirty-two year old is pouting at me because he wants to talk to you.“

She laughs. Dan can hear her clanking with pots. „Ah, that sounds like him. Well, then, Dan. It’s been nice chatting with you! I suppose I’ll sort out the details with him?“

„Yeah, alright. See you soon!“ Dan straightens his back, stiffling a moan as he hears it crack, and gets off the couch to hand the receiver to his husband.

„Hey, mum!“ Phil’s face lights up immediately as it always does when he’s talking to his family. Not like Dan’s jealous, because he knows he’s part of that.

And someone else is as well, for nearly two years now.

„Hey, duck“, he says softly, crouching down next to the infant. „You’re building a nice house, yeah?“

Charlie looks up at him, dark blue eyes wide and honest. „Daddy build house.“

In front of him, Phil has constructed a small tower of blocks. Dan smiles, settling down cross-legged. „Yes, daddy was building one just now, you’re right. But let’s bet you and I can build an even better one, huh? One just like the one we live in?“

As Phil reclines on the sofa, Dan picks up a yellow brick and holds it out to Charlie. „What colour’s this one?“

-

It’s the morning after dinner with Kath and Phil is a nervous wreck.

„And you’re sure you’ve got everything you need? Nappies, toys, his blanket -“

He reaches out to check the baby bag for the third time, but his mother stops him.

“Philip, I’m not an old woman, I promise you I haven’t forgotten anything. Besides, Martyn’s left some of Sophia’s things, including a potty that Charlie can use.“

“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to make sure.“

She reaches out to pat his cheek. “Since when have you become the over-anxious one? Wasn’t it Dan last time who rang me out of bed in the wee hours?“

“Hey, I’ve improved since!“ Dan emerges from the nursery down the hall with a warmly dressed Charlie in his arms.

Kath’s face lights up like a christmas tree at the sight. “Aww, look at you, little man! All dressed up! The neighbours are going to be so jealous, Mrs Hudson’s granddaughter isn’t half as charming as you are.“

Dan laughs, tugging on the jacket his son’s wearing. “I know, right? Phil found it online. It’s got a duck’s bill on the hood and a tail and everything.“

“Me ducky“, Charlie voices confidently, causing Dan to press a kiss to the side of his face.

“Yes, you’re a little duckling, aren’t you, sweetheart?” he coos, smoothing down Charlie’s feathery locks of ginger hair.

Two years ago, Dan would have cringed at words like these, but now look at me, he thinks, gone all mushy and soft. And he’s not even ashamed of it. If it’s true that fatherhood changes people, it’s certainly brought out the best in him and Phil, and they wouldn’t have it any other way, even if lately Charlie has cost them their good night’s sleep more often than not.

The boy calls for his granny, and Dan passes him on to her after one last kiss to his cheek.

Phil observes with a smile how his mother greets the two-year-old, lifting him up and joggling him softly until he giggles.

Dan’s arm snakes around his waist, chin coming to rest on his shoulder; a touch that reassures him without words, ‘don’t worry, it’ll be fine.’

“I’ll best be off then,” Kath says, the baby bag slung over her shoulder and Charlie stood next to her contently holding on to her hand. “Before traffic gets too crazy. You boys enjoy yourselves, yeah?“

She eyes them with a smile playing in the corner of her mouth.

Phil goes red in the face, about to say something when Dan bursts out, “Oh, right! The baby seat!“, and runs off again to fetch it.

-

At five in the afternoon, Dan stumbles out of the shower and wraps himself in a towel. Phil’s playing Muse in his bedroom while getting dressed. He’s banned Dan from the room as if this was their wedding all over again.

It’s good though, it makes Dan feel giddy and even more excited for the night. They’ve reserved a table at a nice place in London they haven’t been to in a while. Living on the outskirts, they rarely visit central London now except for the BBC.

But tonight they will, and considering the traffic they should leave in about half an hour if they want to be on time, Dan realizes with a glance at his phone.

He dries himself off and puts on his clothes – a semi-formal black suit and a white dress shirt, because how long has it been since they’ve had a proper date? Just as he’s done straightening his hair with extra care, Phil calls for him from the hall.

He’s leaning against the wall next to the door, checking his phone as Dan walks up to him.

And fuck, this is one of those moments Dan wants to pat his own shoulder for getting this gorgeous man to marry him.

Phil’s wearing a slim grey suit and the azure blue shirt Dan got him for his last birthday that matches his eyes perfectly. His hair is pushed back casually into a quiff, there’s a subtle waft of his cologne in the air, and Dan wants to eat him up.

“Good, you’re ready.” Phil’s eyes dance over Dan’s frame and he smiles before looking back down on his phone. “Shall we go then? I was thinking we could take a walk along the Thames before, since the restaurant’s right there. You know, work up a bit of an appetite and all that”, he rambles on, taking no note of Dan’s change of mood.

“Oh, I’ve already got quite an appetite, to be honest,” Dan remarks and Phil finally looks up, picking up on his suggestive undertone.

Dan meets his stare, smirking although his heart is beating slightly too fast. Saundering towards him with his hands pushed into his pockets, he allows his eyes to wander as well.

“God, you’re a feast for the eyes, aren’t you,” he says in a low voice once he comes to stand in front of Phil, watching with satisfaction how Phil’s adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard.

“Dan…”

Dan ignores him, reaching out to smooth the collar of his suit jacket, then grabs his tie to pull him close. Phil’s breath hitches, his eye lids fluttering closed, and Dan can’t lie, he definitely enjoys the little whine his husband gives when he draws out the moment before the kiss.

“I’ve always wanted to do that”, Dan admits, tugging softly again on Phil’s tie to emphasize his words, before Phil lets out a moan and takes the initiative, leaning in to crash his mouth against Dan’s.

Dan flicks his tongue against Phil’s bottom lip, then takes it between his teeth, and Phil’s hands capture his face. When he tips his head to deepen the kiss, Dan wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him flush against his body.

Phil groans, attempting to pull back, which only causes Dan’s mouth to leave his and press tiny kisses to the underside of his jaw instead.

“Dan – we’re going to – be late,” he manages to croak out.

“Oh, screw the walk to the restaurant, Phil, don’t pretend you hadn’t got this in mind when you said we needed a night off,” Dan mutters against the soft spot beneath Phil’s ear, making him shiver.

He sucks a patch of skin into his mouth, biting into it softly, and Phil’s hands slip to his shoulders, fingers digging into his suit jacket. “Don’t l-leave marks,” he warns him, head leant against the wall to allow Dan better access nonetheless.

Dan moves to nibble on his earlobe, causing Phil to whimper softly. He kisses his way down Phil’s neck, fingers fiddling with the upmost button of his shirt. When he manages to pop it open, he pulls Phil’s shirt to the side so he can latch his lips onto the joint between Phil’s shoulder and neck.

Phil whines, running his hands down Dan’s arms in search for something to hold on to. As Dan pulls back to admire the purple mark he’s created, conveniently hidden beneath Phil’s shirt, Phil pushes him against the door.

“We should really leave,” he says, palms pressed flat against the door to both sides of Dan’s head, “if we want to make it on time.”

His cheeks are flushed, his hair is starting to come loose and his lips are red and swollen.

“Who needs dinner when I can have you?,” Dan murmurs, head cocked to the side, glancing up at Phil from beneath his lashes.

“That such a sentence should come from your mouth,” Phil huffs in amusement, still keeping a fair distance between their bodies.

“More than that shall come from my mouth,” Dan smirks and Phil gasps.

"Dan.”

He chuckles, watching intently as Phil exhales heavily, then bows his head until their foreheads touch.

They stare into each other’s eyes for a bit, basking in the simple fact that they’re able to. No child is going to start crying in the background and disrupt the moment, no child is going to walk in on them doing something he shouldn’t see.

They’re alone. And fuck, if they aren’t going to make the most of it.

The next kiss is soft and slow, composed of Dan’s arms around Phil’s neck and Phil’s smile against his lips.

“Love you,” Phil sighs as Dan winds a strand of hair around his finger and tugs on it. As a reply, Dan pushes his thigh between Phil’s legs and breaks the kiss so he can whisper into his ear.

“Say that again.”

A moan tumbles off Phil’s tongue. “D-dan – love y-”

Dan doesn’t let him finish, pulling his fingers out of Phil’s hair and snatching his wrists in his hands in one quick movement. He sucks Phil’s bottom lip into his mouth, revelling in the way Phil thrusts his hips against him eagerly. Interlocking their fingers, he lets go of Phil’s lip.

“Want to take this to the bedroom?”

-

It’s dark and quiet when Dan comes to.

He feels so warm and relaxed it takes him a bit to orientate. He stretches, then flinches as he becomes aware of the soreness in his lower back.

Steady, gentle breaths to his right.

He turns, moving closer to the source of the breaths and the source of body heat, trying to recollect his memory.

Hot breath against his neck.

“You smell like cinnamon and apples.”

“New shower gel.”

A flick of tongue, a sharp inhale.

“Hmm… I like it.”

Soft giggles, muffled by skin.

Oh, right. There was that. Well, that might explain why his ass hurts.

Dan almost laughs at himself. Between their demanding jobs and their even more demanding two-year-old, they’ve gone without sex for so long he’s nearly forgotten what it feels like to wake up afterwards.

But god, was it worth the pain. He closes his eyes again, revelling in the memory.

The sound of skin slapping against skin.

Forgotten words whispered into his ear.

Phil’s hands holding on to his shoulders too hard, not hard enough.

The feeling of heat pooling in his stomach, legs wrapped tightly around Phil.

Breathy moans, high-pitched begging, fingernails scratching flushed skin.

The final thrust, the touch of Phil’s hand that sends him over the edge.

And then bliss – Phil curling up next to him – panting breath, a kiss to his cheek –

He blinks as someone yawns and shifts next to him.

Right, Phil.

He looks so lovely with his hair ruffled and no clothes on, Dan thinks, and I’m the only one who gets to see him like this. A smug smile spreading over his face, he reaches out to wrap one arm around his husband.

Phil reacts by snuggling up to him, face pressed into Dan’s shoulder.

“Hi,” he mutters, voice soft and slurred.

Dan chuckles and presses a kiss to the top of his head. “Hi, love. Sleep well?”

“Hmm…”

He’s ready to happily settle back in and drift off again when one thought rises from the back of his mind, claiming his attention.

“Oh, shit.”

At first he wants to slap himself, but then he just throws his head back and laughs, because fuck it, this was worth it.

Phil looks up at him, his wide, puzzled eyes replicating the expression on Dan’s face. “Dan?”

It takes him a few minutes to stop laughing. “Phil,” he chokes out, breaking off into a hiccup. Tears are sliding down his cheeks, and Phil reaches out automatically to wipe them away.

“What? What is it, Dan? You’re scaring me.”

Dan bites his bottom lip to force the laughter to subside, cradling Phil’s face in his hands.

“Phil, we had dinner reservations,” he says finally, like it’s the funniest thing in the world.

But actually, the funniest thing must be Phil’s face as realization hits him.

“No,” he says slowly.

“Yes,” Dan replies, still chuckling.

“No,” Phil repeats, sitting up and reaching across Dan. “Give me my phone. What time is it?”

Dan finds it on the bedside table and unlocks it, promptly beginning to laugh again. Phil pries the phone away from his hands.

His eyes grow even wider. It’s hilarious.

“Fuck!” he exclaims, throwing the sheets off. “Why won’t you stop laughing? Dan, we’ve got to get dressed, maybe if we hurry we can still make it!”

“Phil, I’m moderately sure they’ve given our table to someone else by now,” Dan says, watching Phil climb out of bed to put on his boxers.

“Why? It’s not seven yet, I mean we’ll probably be a bit late but we can call in and -”

Dan shakes his head, sitting up as well. “Phil – Phil, wait. Phil!”

“What?!” Phil cries out, exasperated and half-dressed. He’s got his underwear on backwards.

“It’s half past six in the morning, not at night!”

-

“Stop laughing already!”

Phil hits him across the head with his pillow.

Dan rolls over on to his back, still choking back laughter. “You have to admit it’s funny!”

“It’s not! I really wanted to go there, Dan!” He looks genuinely upset.

Dan raises one eyebrow. “Are you saying you would have rather gone to this restaurant than have sex with me?”

Phil looks at him uncertainly for a moment. “Yes?”

Dan huffs and turns away from him. “I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that.”

He’s mostly faking, but it serves to finally get Phil’s mind off their missed reservation.

His arms snake around Dan’s waist from behind, lips brushing his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the night, though.”

Dan grins, pushing his bum out to earn a gasp from Phil.

“Yeah, I had the feeling you were enjoying yourself quite a bit there, just like your mum told us to.”

“Shut up,” Phil says, pulling back one hand to pinch him, albeit gently.

They settle into silence again, curled up comfortably until Dan mutters, “There’s one disadvantage though. I’m fucking starved.”

Phil groans in agreement. “Pizza would be amazing right now.”

Dan giggles. “It’s seven in the morning. I’m pretty sure they don’t deliver before noon.”

“I think we still have some in the freezer,” Phil murmurs sleepily into his neck.

“Are you serious?” Dan frees himself from Phil’s embrace and sits up, pushing back the duvet. “Then why exactly are we still in bed? Come on, move! It’s time for breakfast!”

Ignoring Phil’s protest, he strolls to the door, swaying his hips as he’s aware of Phil’s eyes following him.

“Don’t you wanna put some clothes on?” Phil asks, the corners of his mouth curled upwards.

“Why?”, Dan replies, eyebrows raised. “Charlie’s not here. Or does it bother you?”

They look at each other for a moment.

Then Phil grins.

“Go preheat the oven, I’ll be right there.”

*** this used to be on my ao3 page (softiejace). i’m taking my phan content down from there for personal reasons but reposting it here so people can still enjoy it :) ***

[darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts]

Devil’s Trust pt3

Warnings: Strong language, Moblord styling warlords.

Masterlist

---

Chapter 3

He was not in the best of moods. His plans for the evening had been dashed with a single phone call that lasted for only a few minutes. Running his hand roughly through his dark auburn hair he took hold of a fist full at the back of his head and gave it a small tug in frustration. Why summon me? What game is the Devil King playing now? The private elevator gave a small lurch as it came to a stop on the top floor. He smoothed out his dishevelled hair and gave a deep sigh before plastering on an expression of ambiguous origin and entered the Devil’s lair.

The grandeur of the place annoyed him. Penthouse apartment on top of his own building and this is what he did with it? Walking along the corridor past the glass wall that revealed the private garden, a central pavilion past an elegant rock garden, shimmering water of a koi pond and beautifully manicured plants framing the path for walking. He felt himself twitch as an unwelcome thought as to its beauty entered his mind. Who would have thought such a place existed in Hell? There was a heavy-looking sliding door at the end of the corridor, propped open, and he knew without any guidance that that was his destination.

Stopping to look inside before he entered, he couldn’t help but feel the bile in the pit of his stomach churn. This place was really something else. The blend of modern furniture with items of antiquity felt seamless. The glow of the rosewood and lacquered items gave warmth to the contrasting cold metal and supple leather. He did wonder if all the rooms in this place were decorated like this or if it was just the Devil’s office. Knowing Nobunaga and his desire to surround himself with nothing but the best it was probably safe to assume that this level of dedication to all the finer things was abundant throughout.

There was a massive desk at the top of the room in front of floor to ceiling windows giving an unprecedented view over the city. A large sofa with a couple of chairs was in front of a fireplace with a large coffee table. There was even a drinks cabinet that seemed to take up quite a bit of wall space too. The rest of the items present looked as if they saw little use.

“You kept me waiting.” Nobunaga’s low commanding voice reached him from where he was sitting on a chair near the fire. Amber liquid glowed, already swirling in the crystal tumbler he had in his hand the decanter for which was placed on the table in front of him, another glass waiting patiently near it.

“And you are keeping me from my evening plans.” Shingen haughtily retorted and took a seat on the leather sofa without invitation. The sooner this is over with the sooner I can leave.

“You can submerge yourself under females another night. Tonight, I have need of you.” Nobunaga sipped his drink an infuriating smirk on his face as he cracked his mockery. Shingen tensed but managed to retain the composure he was known for. I’ll be damned if I let you break me again Nobunaga.

“As flattering as that is, I’m not interested.” Shingen shrugged and reclined back making a show of it. The leather creaked slightly under his shifting weight almost as if it were sighing at his moving mass.

“After all this time the old Tiger still has the energy to growl and yet all I see before me is a weak little kitten.” Nobunaga leaned forward and poured for himself and his guest. Shingen was making no attempt to help himself which given their history spoke volumes of the level of trust that remained between the two heads of family. In this world you learn that suspicions saved lives. To drink or eat something you hadn’t already seen the other consume was inviting trouble and it was a fundamental lesson to even the less seasoned members of their groups.

“Provoking me will only confirm my suspicions that you are nothing more than a spoiled brat who got in a foul mood because someone took away his candy. What did you summon me for Nobunaga?” Shingen accepted the drink still not partaking of it, he simply held the weighted tumbler on his thigh in his large hand. His black eyes meeting their red counterparts, steel versus flames in this undesirable alliance.

“You still have hold of your own network throughout the city correct?”

“Naturally. Such a thing that has been generations in its cultivation cannot be rendered dead overnight even by your hand. As long as I am still living the bonds of trust are tied, the network remains.” Shingen was first and foremost a trader in information. It was not something he had felt the need to hide as it was widely known among the different factions that that was his domain. In fact, it had served him well over the years. Strategies were only as good as the information held and if you wanted a war with words you sometimes had to get a little psychological with it. Much easier to gain success when the opponent is already panicked that you might know something too juicy to share.

“Good I want you to look into something for me.” Nobunaga nodded happily after accepting confirmation. That familiar entitled attitude did little to staunch the agitated Tiger.

“I am not one of your hounds. Don’t you usually use Akechi for this kind of thing?” Shingen shot out his reply and watched as it hit home. A subtle and almost completely hidden reaction happened. His hand definitely tensed I wasn’t imagining it.

“You might not be one of my “hounds” as you call them Shingen, but you are one of my possessions. It would be a waste to not use every pawn at my disposal on occasion.” Nobu’s voice held an edge to it that was part warning and part dare. The frustrating thing to this almost textbook masking of unspoken issues within the payroll was that Shingen could not deny that there was truth in the devil’s words. Had he been in his position it would be something he would be using to his advantage as well.

“You sit there and just expect me to take your barbs and bidding?” Shingen’s voice rose to meet Nobu’s. I would rather not think of how similar we can be at times.

“I expect you to do your job. Like it or not we are part of a united front and this threat we have on the horizon is coming whether you help or not. I would have thought the great Shingen Takeda would have recognised the importance of going into battle with as much knowledge as possible is preferable to entering a battle with nothing.” He hadn’t so much as moved in his chair and yet there was no denying the shift of his oppressive presence in the room.

“You’re rattled? The Devil King himself is worried.” Shingen held his ground but his gaze had become one of curiosity.

“I am not worried nor am I afraid. I have a dislike for things that are hidden from me. Things that would try to steal what is mine. Now go and find me my weak link. Find me the focus of my attack.”

---

It had taken most of the afternoon to get to the change of location and then unload the van. The neighbours had all begun their series of curtain-twitching and popping out to put items into the outside waste bins to get a look at the new arrivals almost as soon as they pulled up. Mitsuhide chuckled knowing all too well that this was the limit to a lot of people’s subterfuge in the world that was so different to his. It was more innocent and on a level with a child eavesdropping at a door.

“What are you laughing at?” [Name] looked at him curiously as she crouched down to let the cat out of its transport carrier. It gave a small grumpy sounding recognition to her as thanks for its freedom and darted off to explore its new territory.

“Nothing my dear. Nothing at all.” Mitsuhide glanced around the home that had taken on interior design inspiration from a child’s box fort. “So… what are we unpacking first?”

“The kettle. I’m gonna kill someone if I don’t get a coffee.” Casting out a flippant comment she started shuffling boxes around in an apparent search for the correctly labelled one.

“Really now? Well if you should find yourself with such a thing happening, I would hope that you remember to call me about it.” He smiled watching [Name] look over the boxes near her.

“Mobster jokes? Seriously? I was just using a common phrase Mitsu.” She huffed her words used to chastise him lost any negativity in them as she failed to suppress a beautifully happy smile from gracing her lips. Say what you like little mouse we both know you like it.

“And I was just stating facts, my dear. I think the kettle is in this one.” He slid a knife over the tape on the box and with a small popping sound, it opened revealing the chrome coloured appliance. She scooped it up and pivoted her body to go to the kitchen.

They were finally home. He had taken a lot more care and effort in selecting this place than any of his previous safe houses. It was here after all that he would be putting his greatest treasure. It had to be perfect, it had to be safe. He had researched and laid a path of paperwork thick enough to cover their trail linking it to several of his aliases in various ways to lead credibility to it all.

This was a milestone in a relationship even in the normal world. All though they had been living together already back at HQ it didn’t change how pivotal this was. As he mused over a turn of events, he had never thought possible in his life. His smirk softening into a more relaxed smile as he watched [Name] bounce around from box to box looking for cups and other things. I wonder if you know how far I would go to protect you. How far I’ve already gone and how much further I’d be willing to fall just to keep you safe.

---

To say his patience was wearing thin was little more than a joke at this point. His desk was covered in the correspondence that he had had with Esshu since the untimely demise of its former CEO. Each one a polite yet firm refusal to entertain any ideas of a merger. The names signing off on each had been different and each one was added to the growing list he was formulating to try to figure out the design of the inner workings of the beast.

A few days had passed since the Tiger had been set among the pigeons and the lack of enthusiasm to retrieve what he asked for irked him. The fact they simply didn’t just accept their position and dance to the tune specified proved he couldn’t discount Shingen as a possible assassin in this game.

Something else was annoying him as well. “Don’t you usually use Akechi for this kind of thing?” He might have known that Shingen would have spotted the elephant in the room. His once sharp tool that was so quick to cut that the opposition hadn’t even registered the damage until it was too late was now playing house. The blade blunt and discolouring with lack of use. A battle was coming, would his trusted predator still be fighting?

The other company was one thing currently outside of his control. He felt his blood boil as he looked at the rejections. They had no idea who they were messing with. He hated it but there was no changing fact. They say history has a way of repeating itself and he felt the cogs of time rewind to a certain point. If they are not with him, then they stand against him and will be treated like everyone else that had refused his dream. He will crush them, destroy them and take what he wants by force for the greater good. It’s not the first time he would have to come up with a plan for a hostile takeover. But who is he targeting? Nobunaga roughly bundled the papers together on his desk in a shambolic pile and spun in his chair to stare out of his window.

The city below stretched out as far as his eye could see. Pedestrians scurried through the streets making their commute. Traffic lights at each intersection caused the traffic to pulse down the roads of the city in a familiar and predictable way.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Mitsuhide was still performing his duties. All the bases were covered and targets met with precision. Currently, there was no reason to take action to regain his tool. Still, he was not a patient man and he knew there might still come a time when he would have to do something to “correct” the issue. I warned you once before… old friend.

---