#I mean the thing is the reason austin got them Good Knives is that their knives are always DANGEROUSLY dull

[blujayonthewing]

thinking about how my middlest brother got my mom a set of beautiful high quality kitchen knives for christmas and two people-- my youngest brother and my ~60 year old stepfather-- immediately cut themselves on them; one trying to test the edge and doing it wrong, and the other literally dicking around

can you guess. which was which

[detectivereyes]

Ribs Like a Cage Full of Fire

Summary: A call at an ice rink leads to some painful consequences for TK

Written for the “broken ribs” square on my @badthingshappenbingo card, which was requested by @paramedicstrand 27 years ago and i finally wrote it <3

Beta and emotional support provided by @marjansmarwani

read on ao3

“You know, I practically grew up on the ice back in New York,” TK says, unable to hide the grin as they pull the ambulance up to the ice rink. Not to say he’s excited that someone hurt themselves on the ice, but he hadn’t found time to ice skate since moving to Austin so there was a part of him that looked forward to revisiting the ice.

“Wow, you’re from New York? You’ve never mentioned it before,” Nancy feigns sarcasm with a playful roll of her eyes. 

“Ha ha, we’ll just have to see who's most comfortable once we actually get out the ice,” TK quickly retorts as Tommy gives them both a warning look. They lapse into a comfortable silence as they work together to get all the necessary supplies before heading out onto the rink.

As soon as TK steps foot onto the ice, he begins to wobble before quickly regaining his balance. He glances over to Nancy, hoping she didn’t see that but her mischievous grin says otherwise.

“Thought you grew up on the ice?”

He gives her a tight smile. “Well, it has been a while… Also I think the ice in Texas is extra slippery.”

“Whatever you say, dude,” Nancy says with a small chuckle. 

Tommy, for her part, pushes past the two of them, walking across the ice with ease towards the patient. Through the crowd standing in a circle, TK can make out a young teenage boy carefully cradling his wrist against his chest.

Once they make their way over with only a few slips on both their parts, Nancy and TK busy themselves behind their Captain, getting all the supplies together as she addresses the patient.

“Hey there, my name’s Tommy. What’s yours?”

“Jimmy,” the young kid stutters out.

“Jimmy, can you tell me what happened?”

As Tommy tends to the patient, Nancy and TK prep the bandages and split. Stealing a side glance at the offending wrist, it does appear to be a compound fracture and TK winces in sympathy. He doesn’t wait for Tommy to ask before prepping an IV line in the hopes of providing some pain relief for Jimmy. 

They work in a comfortable silence as Tommy carefully wraps the boy's injured arm before Nancy hands her the splint. They then ease Jimmy up to a standing position.

“You good to wrap up here, Strand?” Tommy turns and asks TK. 

“Sure thing, Cap,” TK replies with a smile, watching as Tommy and Nancy carefully escort Jimmy toward the waiting ambulance.

He takes the time to pack up what’s left of their supplies before standing up, intending to follow them. 

Except when he goes to stand, he must do so too quickly because before he can even process what’s happening, he finds himself losing his balance and struggling to remain upright on the slippery ice. His surroundings seem to blur as he falls back down, face first onto the ice. The moment his body collides with the ice, TK swears he can hear the audible cracking of his ribs from the pressure. 

He winces as he pushes himself back into a seated position, ignoring the sharp protests coming from his chest and the cold ice shavings digging into his raw palms. 

He takes a few seconds to glance around and see if anyone noticed. Other than a few side glances from various skaters gliding around the rink, no one seems to be giving him much attention. And by this point, Tommy and Nancy are loading Jimmy into the ambulance, too far away to see what had happened.

All of which means he’s on his own. 

Left with no other option, he grabs his medical bag which had fallen with him onto the ice and forces himself to stand back up onto the ice, this time much more carefully. He slowly makes his way towards the opening on the side of the rink, using his arm to hold his chest tightly and relishing in the relief that it provides from the pain.

When he arrives at the back of the ambulance, he removes his arm supporting his chest and does his best to mask the pained expression. He must not do a great job though because Nancy gives him a questioning look.

“The ice is slippery,” he shrugs, giving his partner a reassuring smile. “I’m good though.”

The little voice in the back of his head is screaming that he should tell her or Tommy that he’s not actually good. That his chest feels like it’s on fire and each breath feels like knives stabbing him in the lungs.

But whether it’s out of pride or convenience's sake, he keeps his mouth shut and Nancy seems to accept his answer.

He shuts the doors on the back of the ambulance and slides into the driver's seat. If there had been any doubt that he was hurt, the seat belt digging into his rib cage and sending sharp pains radiating through the rest of his body confirmed it. 

He suppresses the groan that threatens to escape from his mouth and sends a silent prayer that his teammates in the back of the rig don’t notice anything amiss.

All he can do is drive and choke back the tears that well in the corners of his eyes at each minor bump in the road. 

The emergency room doors can’t appear in his line of sight soon enough. And fortunately he doesn’t have to do much as the hospital staff unload the stretcher, giving TK a few minutes to collect himself before he comes face to face with his partner and captain.

He takes a deep breath before pulling the keys out of the ignition and exiting the ambulance. Spotting Nancy on the side of the rig, he gives her a nod and hands her the keys. “It’s your lucky day, Gillian. You can drive back to the station.”

She raises her eyebrows curiously before shrugging. “I would question it, but I’m going to say yes before you change your mind.”

The ride back to the station passes by in a blur. He tries his best not to let on that anything is wrong and even with Nancy now sitting next to him, neither she nor Tommy seem to pick up on the pained grimaces or the fact that he’s much quieter than usual. 

Once they are parked, TK wastes no time exiting the ambulance and ducking up the stairs towards the locker room, avoiding the curious glances of other members of the 126. Locking himself in a bathroom stall, he carefully unbuttons his uniform shirt before sliding his soft grey undershirt over his head. The movement only further aggravates his ribs and he can’t help the hisses of pain that escape from his lips.

He takes a shaky breath before glancing down, his face scrunching up in a wince at the sight of his chest. Though the fall only happened less than an hour ago, the faint outline of various shades of purple and blue are already beginning to paint his rib cage. Tentatively, he ghosts his fingers along the bruising and inhales sharply at the pain the soft touch causes. 

At minimum, it’s very bad bruising. But more likely, he has a few fractured, possibly broken ribs. 

He debates going to Tommy and confessing what had happened. It’s unlikely he would be able to last the rest of his shift like this and his paramedic brain is screaming that he needs actual medical attention. 

But the urge to power through is too strong. Despite how loud the voice is telling that this is bad, the voice arguing back that maybe it isn’t that bad is louder. 

There’s no reason to cut his shift short for this and make a big deal out of it. In fact, glancing at his watch shows that there’s only an hour left. Not that he wants to jinx it, but it’s likely that they won’t even get called to another scene. Besides, coming clean would also lead to not just his paramedic team, but the entire station finding out that he got hurt. Again.

No, that won’t be necessary today. He will power through the rest of his shift, looking forward to the moment he gets home and can ice his ribs. 

He can do this. 

Getting his uniform back on is no easy task, with sliding his undershirt over his again hurting him even more than when he slid it off. He settles for just wearing the undershirt for now, grabbing his blue uniform shirt before exiting the stall. 

Re-entering the locker room, he hastily shoves the shirt in his locker, figuring he can hang it up later when it doesn’t feel like he’s about to pass out if he moves the wrong way. He takes a moment to breathe, suppressing the panic when he begins to notice how hard it is to take deep breaths.

“Hey, man. You good?”

TK’s head darts up, caught off guard by the entrance of Paul into the locker room, but he quickly catches himself and smiles. “Yeah, just a rough call earlier. How’s your shift been?”

Paul studies him carefully and TK knows he can sense the deflection and quick pivot in the conversation. But at this point Paul has known him long enough not to press, knowing that TK needs the space and will come to him if and when he needs to. 

“It's been a little Q-word around here, so not too bad. Looking forward to a few days off after this, though,” Paul smiles. 

“Yeah, I hear that.”

Paul looks like he’s about to say something else before he’s cut off by the alarms blasting through the house. TK lets out a sigh of relief when Paul looks away that it’s only fire being called to the scene, and not ambo. 

When Paul turns back to him, they share a look and Paul shrugs. “Duty calls,” he brushes past TK, giving him a light pat on the back as he exits the area. A gesture which normally wouldn’t be much, but today it makes him see stars. 

Fortunately, Paul is already out of sight as TK tries to regain his composure. He rests his back against the hard wood of the locker door and tries to stop the tears as he struggles to breathe through the pain, with each breath seeming like it filled up less and less of his lungs. His ribs continue to throb, sending aches throughout the rest of his body and he wonders how he’ll be able to make it through the next 45 or so minutes.

Fortunately, the rest of the shift does fly by and he’s able to take it easy. The rest of the station doesn’t return from the rescue they were called to until near the end of his shift, so he only has to avoid Tommy and Nancy. With the former holed up in her office doing incident reports and Nancy reading in the common area, he is able to find refuge in the bunk room trying to rest and hoping that the alarms don’t go off again while he counts down the minutes until end of shift. 

His prayers are answered once the second hand on his watch clicks past the hour and he’s officially off duty. 

It doesn’t take long for a text to come through from Carlos that he’s outside the station waiting to pick him up. TK smiles to himself at the thought that his boyfriend was probably also counting down until the end of TK’s shift and was itching to see him as soon as possible, hence why he showed up at the 126. It’s a gesture TK has grown used to in the nearly a year that they’ve been together. 

He forgoes changing out of his uniform, whether that’s because he’s anxious to see Carlos or he knows it would cause too much pain is unclear. Instead, he quietly slips out of the bunkroom and exits the station before anyone can spot him.

“Hey,” Carlos greets him with a warm smile while leaning against the side of his Camaro.

“Hey yourself.”

TK approaches Carlos, pressing a soft kiss onto his lips before Carlos pulls him into a hug. Though he tries not to blackout from the pain and to focus instead on inhaling the familiar scent of Carlos’ laundry detergent, he cannot hide the involuntary wince of as his body contracts out of pain. 

Carlos quickly pulls away, scanning him up and down. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh,” TK nervously laughs and gives him a thin smile. “It’s nothing.”

“TK,” Carlos gives him a pointed look and before TK can stop him, Carlos is pulling up his shirt. His eyes widen as he takes in the bruising which has only continued to grow in the time since TK had last checked.

“It looks worse than it is.”

Carlos scowls, clearly not believing him. “Did you get checked out?”

“No. Well, it happened near the end of my shift and I figured that if I could just wait it out…” he trails off, shifting uncomfortably. 

Carlos shakes his head before pulling TK’s shirt back down and grabbing his hand. He doesn’t say a word until they are back inside the truck bay, scanning the area until he locks eyes with Nancy exiting from the common area, on her way out of the station. 

“Nancy, do you mind hanging back a sec and taking a look at TK? He got hurt on shift but didn’t want to tell any of you.”

Nancy’s eyes dart between the two of them before she drops her bag and ushers TK over to the back of the ambulance. He wordlessly follows and eases himself down onto the back bench, grimacing in pain now that there’s no reason to hide it.

At Carlos’ nod, he slides his shirt over his head, revealing the full extent of his bruised chest to both Carlos and Nancy.

“What the fuck, Strand?” Nancy exclaims as her eyes go wide. “When did this happen?”

“Remember when I said the ice was slippery…”

Nancy curses again under her breath before turning to Carlos. “Can you go grab Captain Vega? If she hasn’t left yet, I think we’re going to be making one more trip to the hospital today.”

“That’s really not necessary. Carlos can just drive me there. Right, babe?”

Carlos looks between him and Nancy, seemingly unsure of what his place is in this moment. “I’m staying out of this one. But I do agree Tommy needs to know.”

He disappears up the stairs, leaving TK and Nancy in a moment of awkward silence. 

TK knows he should say something. Explain what had happened exactly and why he didn’t speak up before. Even though their relationship had gotten off to a rocky start, TK now considers her one of his closest friends. And it’s clear she feels the same about him, caring deeply that he’s injured. Especially after what had happened to Tim, he feels bad to be causing his partner this much stress. 

But he lacks the words to properly communicate that so they sit in silence and wait for Carlos to return with Tommy. They don’t have to wait long as the pair arrives a few moments later.

“So, you want to tell me what happened here, Strand?” Tommy asks, taking a seat next to TK to start her assessment. 

“The ice betrayed me,” he says, earning pointed looks from all three of his friends. He shakes his head before continuing, “I slipped on the ice after you and Nancy left. Might’ve cracked a few ribs.”

Tommy hums in agreement as she runs her fingers along his chest, earning a few painful hisses from TK. “Yeah, I’d have to agree with that assessment. Alright, up on the gurney you go.”

TK opens his mouth to argue but Tommy gives him a look usually only reserved for her daughters when they try to talk their way out of going to bed early. So he quickly closes his mouth and lets his shoulders sag. “Yes, Cap.”

She gives him a sympathetic smile and assists him in getting settled onto the gurney. It’s an unspoken agreement that Carlos is welcome to ride along, with him making himself comfortable on the bench next to TK. They lock eyes and Carlos grabs his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Nancy’s worried eyes also don’t leave TK. Tommy must notice because she quickly offers to drive, leaving the three of them in the back before anyone can say otherwise.

“I’m really sorry I scared you both,” TK says to Carlos and Nancy after a few beats of silence.

“I hate to say I’m used to it but,” Carlos lets out a light chuckle. “I’m always going to worry about you though. But, I am glad you’re okay today and I just wish you could get it out of your stubborn head that it’s okay to ask for help from your teammates. It’s kind of what they're trained to do.”

“Yeah, I know,” TK casts his gaze down unsurely before meeting Nancy’s eye. The other paramedic had yet to say a word and the apology was for her as much as it was for Carlos.

A small smile forms on her face. “Yeah, what he said. If you could at least try to go a few weeks without getting hurt next time, I would really appreciate it.”

“Okay, deal,” he extends his hand as far as he can without putting too much strain on his ribs for her to shake. Despite how much he tries, the motion does still provide a painful reminder of his injuries and he can’t hide the grimace that forms on his face. 

Nancy gives his hand a quick shake before placing his hand back at his side. “Easy there, dude.” 

He shoots her a quick smile before locking eyes with Carlos again, grateful to have two people who care about him by his side.

[sunflowersandscreams]

I am banging pots and pans together. I care about the oc. Feel free to ramble about them at your convenience

allison i love you

okok it took me a little bit to formulate this. but I think I got it

their name is solía

Name was given by Apollo and their mother, Andrea. Their name is a mix of 'sol' meaning sun and the conjugated verb meaning 'I used to' in Spanish because of angst reasons :))

their mother is Columbian (shoutout to my Columbian teacher. she didn't help me with this but she's literally the best)

they 'used to' be more of a kid, but as they grew older and they realized how horrific it was for demigods, they became more jaded. They're fourteen ish in the trials of apollo

they missed the second titan war and when they came back to camp they discovered half their cabin had died

that changed them. They became more reserved. They were never close to their siblings to begin with but they pulled away more

Will was trying his best with everyone but he was closest with Kayla and Austin because they all went through the battle of Manhattan together. Will was struggling but trying not to show it but Solía could see

They had a couple moments of vulnerability but no real connection. Will and Solía both felt guilty for it but didn't know how to change

Solía went back home and took comfort in Lucero

but then their mortal brother Lucero was killed by a monster when Solía was 12. they killed the monster but the guilt still haunts them

they're not good at healing at all and it gets very frustrating for them. They're not the best at typical weaponry but they can throw knives (haha stealing popular will solace headcanons) and they're pretty strong

They love to play instruments though; they were never good at brass like Austin, but woodwind and some string instruments are fun for them.

they love la salsa (this is purely based on the fact that I'm learning salsa and it's so much fun)

They have sounds powers: can make large bursts of sound waves that knock people out or to the ground. They find it difficult to control this - sometimes when they get very emotional it bursts out of them

love to write poetry and little snippets of song lyrics, very poetic person

they have insane light powers. Can bend light. and can use it for heat and burn things with it :))

One of their favourite things to do is bend light so that they're always lying in a patch of sunlight in the warmth. Sometimes they do it for others in exchange for favours

doesn't get sunburned bc they're cool (they are very tanned though)

doesn't have a lot of friends; doesn't like to get super close to people. Is kinda closed off.

I have SO MANY MORE THOUGHTS but they're still in the brain soup so I'm gonna stop there. tysm for letting me ramble they're so much fun to talk about!!

[popculturebuffet]

Scotrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (The Comic)

Hello, Hello, Hello scottaholics! And what a beautiful day it is: After decades lost in the lost woods, at least it had that catchy tune to keep it company, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World: The Game is FINALLY back and performing for you on all platforms!

Even Stadia, the platform most likely to disappear like this game did for a while! Cheap shots at the stadia aside as a huge fan of the franchise as a whole and of this game who played it back on the 360, and had since sold said 360 so I had no way to get it back or ever play the dlc packs. Seriously who didn’t want to play wallace but never got to? Everyone, everyone is the answer. But with those the entirety of what I consider to be the main cast is playable, it has online so you can beat up hipsters, guys in costumes and robots with your friends, it’s a good damn feeling.  And since i’m in a celebratory mood, naturally i’m also feeling like a review. And since it just so happens the next volume up in my look at the comics is Vs the World, seriously I planned this review for this month without thinking to have it come out on the same day as the game until a week or two in, I felt there was no better way to celebrate the biggest day for Scott Pilgrim fans in some time.. and for Brian Lee O Malley as he’ll stop getting twitter asks about it. So with all the exposition taken care of LAST TIME, and the link right there if your curious, we can jump right in. On with the show!

After our opening titles, and yes this comic has opening titles, with Ramona sitting solmely in the rain. 

And Scott caught in the title. The rain shot is real pretty by the way. But yeah once we get past those we’re taken back 7 years ago. Finn found out his father was an asshole, and voiced by Stephen Root so hey you take the good with the bad, Steven just learned the horrifying truth about Gem Monsters, Guardians of the Galaxy saved the MCU and I was trying to find work after college.. wait... sorry sorry that was 7 years ago from THIS year. The comic came out in 2005, though the comic takes place on a sliding timescale where only like 2 years pass so I dunno when this is. Let’s just say 98.  Okay so 1998: Bill Cllinton’s sex scandal breaks, and puts way too much of hte blame on the young intern whose life came to be defined by one stupid mistake she made with a man who was way older and should’ve known better, the tide of the Monday Night War turned in favor of the WWF as Stone Cold Steve Austin became a household name, and it was an utterly standup year for video game relaases with Ocarina of Time, Banjo-Kazooie, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, StarCraft, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, WWF: War Zone, Pokemon Stadium, Spyro The Dragon, Pokemon Yellow, WarioLand 2, Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Pokemon: Trading Card Game and Sonic Adventure. It’s like someone took a good chunk of my childhood and squeezed it into one year holy shit, I did not expect this when looking up what came out in 98. 

And while the movie pool wasn't’ quite this amazing, we still had The Wedding Singer, The Big Lebowski, the dude abides, Batman and Mr Freeze: SubZero, The Truman Show, Mulan, the good one not the one made near concetration camps that makes her into a demigod, Saving Private Ryan, Blade, Simon Birch, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, Rushmore, Bride of Chucky, HalloweenTown, Plesantville, and the Prince of Egypt. And in music Weird Al changed from his first signature look to his second, getting Lasik and growing out his hair. Seirously had no idea that was this year. Good to know. Also Elton John got his knighthood. Super shooters. I could go on with 1998 triva for days but I cannot go on for 8 weeks so let’s get to the point here.. during alllla this  Scott Pilgrim, age 16, was starting St. John’s Catholic School and a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble. . by threatning to beat him up for no real reason. A fight insues and we cut to the principal’s office as Scott’s still a minor and not allowed to get into death fights just yet under the people’s freedom of choices and voices act. 

It’s here he meets Lisa Miler, a peppy and sarcastic blonde, who’s intrigued by the fact Scott somehow got beat up after being here just 15 minutes and wants to be friends. Naturally for scott next we see him he’s busy playing video games, and annoyed someone else is around and wondering who this person whose now in his basement is. God no wonder teenage me related to him. So for the next few pages we see their friendship in time lapse: Lisa joins him at lunch, then geninely wonders since Scott’s Untentionally a dick if he hates her.. it’s part of why I think Scott has some form of autisim. And not just because I tend to belivie a character is on the spectrum all the damn time, it’s because of the way he acts: while he is nice and charming at times.. he also clearly has trouble relating to people or realizing how his actions effect them and as seen here in a younger form can often be compeltely distanced from normal social queues, not getting how his actions might be seen until Lisa outright talks to him about it. I mean.. it’s not a huge stretch, and it dosen’t mean he’s nto responsible for his own actions, but it does EXPLAIN a lot of them better: why he just sorta forgets about Knives post-ramona but at the same time still cares enough he dosen’t want to hurt her despite you know, that ship sailing just by having moved on. 

But now the two are friends and his parents, who we meet for the first time and sister inquire about her being his girlfirned.. and by next jumpcut his parents apparently don’t want him hanging out with girls? What exactly the fuck? Also they mention Laurence, Scott’s brother whose missing for most of the books and has no real payoff for not being around. Next cut we get KIM!

Thank you Prissy. And she’s.. not all that different, assuming, correctly that their partner project, how she meets scott will just result in her doing all the work.. which not only is how these things usually went when I was in high school a decade later, but reminds me of the time me and my friends curtis and justin were put on a project and when asked who the alied powers were, guessed “Germany?”.... you can understand my fear. And also Curtis punching him for getting nothing done.. and not hard or brutally mind you just once quick in the gut and with full warning. Ah... the adaquate old days. 

So back to Lisa as, since Scott’s Mom has a guitar.. a fact I.. never honestly thought about. Seriously I never realized her children, since the Bass Scott has for most of the books is Laurence’s, getting into music was probably due to her. Also Lisa makes her case for WHY be a band: the school has a regular event called Lunchapalooza, where everyone goes to and since by teen logic, just being in a band is automiacally cool, she figures they can jump from not QUITE being in any cliques to being super cool. Which honestly yeah... while I didn’t know any bands in high school, the fact one of my friends, ironically named Scott, was a DJ automatically made him pretty damn cool once he got past his awkard phase. I never got past mine but somehow was loved by all except that one douchey kid in our group who mocked me for naming my Luxray kim, assuming it was based on Kim possible and not Kim Pine... though frankly how that’s an insult when Kim Possible was a fucking awesome show and character is beyond me but he was just 17 and also a douchebag, it didn’t have to make since it just had to piss off the easily pissed off kid with aspergers. So Scott poses how they can be a band with just their guitars and Lisa concedes drums WOULD help.. I mean it’s what MADE Shallow Gravy. 

So while Kim wonders if Scott is dating Lisa, because teenagers don’t really get girls and boys can be friends without wanting to be together, though not often as teenage boy brains can be rather stupid and horny... can confrim from personal experince. So it becomes clear Scott has a thing for Kim, and when Scott tries broaching it with Lisa she dosen’t take it well and he backpedals to asking her to be her drummer and plans to monday, proving Scott has somehow not gotten better at reading women, or anyone after 7 years. Can relate. 

So yeah he decides to ask Monday, same day as their presentation.. and thankfully missed the bus as he arrives to find the Benvy Tech boys came in, took everyone out and abducted Kim. Because yeah, just in case you were wondering Scott’s life was always like this.. or was it? Questions for later. So one Canadian Version of River City Ransom later, Scott’s made his way to simon... who, since most of you have probably seen the movie or art of the movie.. looks an AWFUL lot like Gideon. Hrmmm. Simon is naturally the final boss here and wonders if this is the best St. Joels can muster. Scott quips back as only Scott can. 

So cue an unsuprisingly awesome actoin sequence. IT’s part of why I love these color editions: While they already LOOKED thoroughly fantastic the added colors really help the series shonen manga meets old school video game vibe REALLY fucking pop. So Simon pleads mercy which like Scott delivering a good quip.. should’ve really been a red flag to younger me and is foreshadowing for later in case I was too subtle. He then does what any noble hero would do.. kicks simon into the sunset, tells Kim how he feels and asks her to play drums. They then make out. Awwww. 

Lisa suprisingly takes it well as the next montage shows.. granted we’ll learn in Feburary she wasn’t QUITE as over scott as it seemed, but the three, along with a friend of Lisa’s whose name I forgot and who DOSEN’T come back so I’m not going to bother learning, form their own friend group, Scott and Kim get an A, and Scott, Kim and Lisa’s band is dubbed sonic and knuckles, which is an objectively awesome band name. Something the series really does great: Video Game Based Band Names. Crash and the Boys, Sex Bomb-Omb, Clash at the Demonhead... we need more bands like this in the real world dammit. So then they play their big game, the two loose their vrigniity.. and then Kim asks scott “your moving to tornoto?” And.. for now.. that’s that. 

While the framing of that will be VERY important in the last volume, as notice how KIM’S the one who brings it up and it’s not explicitly stated scott actually told her, this flasback is great. While it does contribute to the volume’s drifty pacing, more  on that as we go, it brilliantly sets up a LOT of stuff for later, paticuarlly Lisa who I assumed wouldn’t be back and younger me’s jaw fucking DROPPED when she popped up in Volume 4. Granted i’m spoiling that suprise for you now but odds are most of you reading this have either alreaddy read these or were probably wondering if the girl from the animated short ever had any actual relevance in the books. So yes, yes she does. She’s also the pink haired girl you see pop up in the game in the background, as a nod to O’Malley’s comic strip style which had her and Kim as the leads.  Also yeah for fans of the game or movie or even the comics who were unaware.. this prologue got an animated adaption on adult swim to promote the movie. Naturally Micheal Cera and Allison Pill reprised their roles as Scott and Kim, with Mae Whitman voicing lisa.. and honestly being perfect for the roll, and Jason Schrwartzman voicing Simon naturally. While the animation is slightly limited, it still looks decent and expertly translates O’Malley’s art, while sliming things down slightly where needed to fit a short, and the anmation takes a huge bump for the fight scene which like the comic is short but awesome. While it has no real bearing on the film as Kim’s former relationship with Scott never really comes up or has any impact, as the Film while good was based primarily on volumes 1-3 with small pieces of 4 (paticuarlly the iconic “Lesbians gag”), with Wright working off outlines and drafts of 5 and 6, so the last half hour or so is mostly Wright’s invention. 

Not a bad thing as it’s still awesome and not o’malley’s fault but it means kim dosen’t get to do much, and is a big reason why I want an adaptation on netflix or hbo max. While i’d still want changes both because there’s no sense doing an adaptation if your not going to make some tweaks of your own and because it’d be intresting to update the series to modern day, both in societal conventions and so everyone stops saying the r word. Seirously the most telling sign of the series age is that word showing up quite a bit during the first half of the series. Point is there is merit in doing another remix of the story and doing a longer form one so we can get more of the characters, as well as flesh out ones like Steven, Neil (Who was done WAY better in the movie adaptation thanks to the wonderful Johnny Simmons), and Stacey who got the shaft in the books. Again, not slagging off the movie, it’s really great. Just saying there’s always room for more Scott Pilgrim content and we all know it. 

We’ll get back to the comic proper, and the present day of 2005, after the cut. 

So the story proper opens with Scott dreaming of playing video games... because of course he is with Ramona walking in. and finding it charmingly pathetic but wanting her boyfriend to you know, get out of bed. It’s 11:30.  So with Scott’s ass out of bed, we find Scott, Age 23 idiot with a heart of gold and Wallace, 25 king of all gays, on the bus as they talk it getting warmer and Lucas Lee, movie star and jason lee stand in coming to town to film a movie.. and Scott being Scott gets him confused for Luke WIlson. He’s also seen Bottle Rocket which.. good on him. Seriously while not wes anderson’s best film, those were made long afte this comic was published, it’s still a damn good one.. where was his career at this point... looking it up life aquatic was his most recent films and is still one of my favorites. So yeah he was in a good place career wise. 

Scott proudly talks about having Ramona over in a couple days so she can see his place and meet Wallace. But as explained by Wallace for those of us just tuning in, he already met her last volume. You know during that time Stacey thought she could magically make her date not be attracted to someone else.. and yes even almost a month later not letting that one go. Stacey should know better. Not saying i’ts right Wallace keeps poaching her boyfriends, but she still shoudlnt’ try and force a relationship with a guy or even finish a date with one who makes out with someone else, regardless of gender, mid date. She deserves better. In general not just in this one scenario but we’ll get to that. 

Point is while Scott, as usual, is a bit pissy about this Wallace.. has no time for that and issues an ultimatium

And he’s not bluffing, as he fully intends to tell Ramona the minute she walks in the door if he dosen’t break up with Knives. It really shows Wallace off at his best and why he’s Scott’s closest friend: Kim and Stephen do care about him but Kim both has a LOT of unresolved issues and sexual tension with him and keeps eveyrbody including Scott at arm’s length. And Stephen.. while he will OCASIONALLY call Scott out mostly just enables him, either ignoring his college buddy’s shittier behavior or playing along with it and backing him up when Kim rightfully calls him on being a dickhead. While both love their friend they just aren’t the best at dealing with his shit or getting why he does the things he does good and bad.  Wallace on the other hand geninely likes Scott. He’ll lock him out of the house and tell him to sleep elsewhere so he can bang one out, he’ll not wear pants if he dosen’t have to and he’ll certainly hit on Scott just to get a rise out of him, phrasing.. but he also genuinely cares for the guy’s well being. He lets him sleep in their house basically rent free since scott has no money, buys most of their stuff, and is, as we’ll see in this one, the ONLY one of his friends to take an active part in the fight against the exes, training Scott and researching his opponents when he can get info. He won’t baby Scott as seen here, but he will help him, and he will be the harsh voice of reason his friend needs.  And he did TRY doing a softer approach last time, simply telling scott to break up with his fake high school girlfriend. Scott had every chance to dump Knives during the last third of the first book.. it’s just a combination of both Knives and Ramona being in the same place and Scott getting panicky meant he balked. He NEEDS to be pushed into leaving Knives or he’s not gonna. And he also gets it’s not just Scott being a shifty coward: Scott DOES like Knives.. he just found someone who actually challenges him, intrests him and connects with him on his level, versus someone who worships and adores him like a puppy who just happens to be skilled with knives. The relationship with Knives. was an ego boost, an unequal paring that gave Scott the illusion of moving on from Envy. Ramona is him ACTUALLY moving on and given how badly Envy fucked him up, which comes into play in this book and the next, Wallace recognizes that Scott does need her... but this relationship can’t go anywhere if Scott is seeing someone else, and they both know it. Wallace is just the one who’s willing to do something about it to force scott to do something about it. He’s doing this for Knives too: it’s very clear he cares about the girl, was against this from the start, and knew this was going to end in pain and the faster Scott rips off the Band-Aid the faster she can move on to someone closer to her age and far more equal to her. Scott.. takes this about how you’d expect, even calling Double Standard, as Wallace does sleep around.. and while Wallace will be a homewrecker to Stacey.. otherwise it’s not remotley the same. Wallace does his sleeping around either casually or when he does get a partner, with their consent from what we can tell. He never cheats or anything, he just likes to bone. So yeah Scott doesn’t have a leg to stand on and acts accordingly. 

One of my faviorite gags in the series and one that’s etched in my head for keeps. So with a justified Ultimatium over his head Scott calls knives to hang out. Knives.. shows off that as adorable and trusting as she is.. she’s also kind of creepy and shows up just outside the phone booth he’s calling her from.  So the two go to a record store and Knives tries to get Scott into Clash at the Demonhead, her faviorite band. But since i’ts you know, headlined by Scott’s ex as we’ll find out, he’s not into it. But before that can get awkward.. it gets awkward in another way as Knives invites Scott to dinner at her parents place. Which is an objectively bad idea even before you get into the fact Scott wants a way out and as Volume 4 will show us her dad is both not happy with the idea of her dating a white guy and willing to use a katana to prevent it so he dodged a bullet there. Scott TRIES weasling out of it, but his “I’m too old for you” thing falsls on deaf ears.. and actually explains why she thinks this is normal: her parents are 9 years apart. of course obviously two consenting adults with a decade between them is a mite bit diffrent than 5 years between a teenager whose taking this way too seriously and a grown man whose taking this not seroiusly at all and dosen’t get how effed up this is. But Knives is too naive to get that, and papers over any possible concerns about her parents not wanting her to date a white guy with i’m in love.  Seeing that he has no EASY way out of this, as he shouldn’t, Scott just rips off the band aid and bluntly breaks up with her, saying it’s not going to work out. Knives.. is clealry devistatd. To her this was a serious relationship.. and Scott realized that too late.. and thankfully while he didn’t break up with her in the best way, at all, simply syaing i’ts not going to work out and confirming to her he means it, it’s clear from his face this hurts to do and he knows he’s REALLY hurting her and REALLY shoudlnt’ of dated her to begin with. IT’s why Scott dating a teenager dosen’t make him a morally rephrenisvie monster: because he was genuinely intrested, didn’t use her sexually, and there are tangible consequences for his actions. Knives just dosen’t disappear neatly into the sunset so he can be with ramona. The rest of the series covers her emotoinal recovery from being with Scott, and how she very horribly handles it and that’s why this plotline works at all: she’s not some act one contrivance to be thrown away, sh’es a human being, and more than that a young woman who got hurt REALLY bad and got way too in over her head with someone who just..wasn’t the one fo rher no matter how much she can’t admit that. 

We also get one of my faviorite sets of pages as Scott relfects on things and the sheer devistation on Knives face, which credit to a series that even at this early point loves it’s big bold facial expressions.. her’s being more subded just makes it sting MORE. 

This bit to me is vital to keeping Scott sympathetic and to his character. We see he really does regret what happened, dosen’t know how to process it and genuinely feels awful. As I said instead of some exgerated face that would still hurt him.. her face is quiet, clearly unable to process this and clealry lost and hurt.. and that hurts more than any fuck your or sobs he was probably expecting. Just her clearly not getting WHY he’s doing this or why he hurt her, and he KNOWS why he just knows telling her the truth would hurt her even more. But.. as he thinks.. his thoughts move to something else.. and the WHY of why he did this. 

He did it for Ramona. Wallace was as harsh as he was right: he needed a clean slate to actually give this relationship a shot and the smile comes off less as him being a calous dick whose just happy to move on, I mean he is a little, but more jus tsomeone READY to finally move on. He found the right person, he let the wrong one go if clumsily.. he has a future to look forward to and he can smile about that. 

Granted he’s still his usual unteitonally callous self and his way of telling his friends he and knives broke up is to casually say so and say “dont’ worry you’ll meet my new girlfriend soon.” Their reaction.. is my own. 

Look just because Scott is a nuanced douchebag dosne’t stop him from being a Douchebag. It just means he isn’t intolerable to watch and you actually care about him growing as a human being is all. 

So with that out of the way, it’s date night and Ramona is coming over.. also Scott is considering calling her Ramy which no. I'm genuinely in favor of a pet name that’s just a variant on someone’s name but a bit cute, as it’s just the right level of obnoxious, but no, just no Scott. No.  Ramona enters, meets Wallace again and sits down while Scott tries to shoo him out.. because turnabout is fair play bitch. They also see Ramona’s new hair as she dyes it something new for the first time, in this case a very lovely two tone, the purple from last volume but with a darker purple bellow it. I honestly wish she went for multiple colors in her hair again, but likely didn’t since the book was originally in black and white... which still dosent’ make sense as it would’ve been EASIER that way. Regardless Wallace makes himself scarce proving that he’s more than willing to be equal in terms of one of them spending the ngiht elsewhere. What a guy. 

Ramona finds out a few things about Scott: That his apartment is VERY small, just one room with a bed, a cabinet, a small kitchen and a bathroom, which despite what scott says I REALLY dont’ count as another room. Just common sense. She also learns that he can COOK. Yeah while you’d expect Scott to just get a wad of “I did the ultimatum thing okay now gimme” money and buy dinner but no.. he made the whole thing himself from his own recipe.  And once we cut to them eating on the floor.. turns out yeah he not only can cook but is REALLY good at it. She wishes there was a table which, small as the place is.. fair point. I mean at least get some tv trays. You have chairs. Or at least the easy chair. You can get nice padded folding chairs so you have a second chair guys. I know your poor but come on. Also Scott leanrs bread makes you fat. Good stuff. Also Scott freaks out when , while making out with Ramona in bed later, she mentions his hair’s getting kinda long and could use a cut... which turns out to be a thing for him. He isn’t an ass about it he just panics a bit because he’s partially convinced his last relationship’s nightmarish breakup was because of a bad haircut he got. As we’ll see next week, that’s a no but as someone whose a touch neroutic myself I get blaming a larger issue on something trivial. 

So we then get to the next chapter where it’s KIM’S turn to have a dream.. and the only time we see someone else's dreams. Honestly.. I really would’ve liked if it was a recurring device, even have Ramona pop into other people’s Not used ALL the time but I could easily see it being used with Knives to convey her obsession with Scott and her pain or kim again to help move her plots along or Wallace because I want to know what’s going on in his head. It must be a maze of male gentalia and fine liquor the likes of which has never been seen. It’s scotts funeral as Simon killed him and Scott’s corpse wonders if she dreams about this a lot. 

So we see her get ready and wake up her roomate Sarah whose a bitch. And as we’ll see in one of the backups, so’s the rest of her roommates. So drifting into work. Hollie is a character I really liked... the past tense will be explained later. And the first scene is probably why as her and Kim banter effortlessly, with Kim suggesting maybe she was a happy kid... only to admit quickly no she wasn’t, she was pretty withdrawn and then pretty angsty over someasshole who will be named Scott. “Your a holy terror kim, and i’m glad your on your side”> It’s a short scene but the kind this series excells at: just realistic, fun little exchanges bursting with character. I also GENUINELY wish we got more of this kind of thing, as only Knives really gets these kind of scenes to herself for the most part. There ARE scenes without Scott, but not enough like this that just give us as look into what his friends lives are like during the moments they aren’t putting up with his dumbassery or watching him engage in mortal combat. It’s why i’ve been hoping a spinoff will happen even though it likely won’t SOON. I’m sure O’Malley will return to this world some day, but between Snotgirl and Wicked World, which will come out when it’s ready but should be good.. he’s just really busy. But i’d love to see more of Kim.. or Wallace or Knives. The latter two are a no brainer: Knives is the tritagonist of the books, and it’d be intresting to see what she’d be like 5 years at the book, at the same age and stage in life as Scott. And with Wallace it’s because we really DON’T see his friend circle, life or what goes on with him. We hear him talk about a new boyfriend, who we don’t meet until near the end of the series, though you can see him in stage 3 of hte game if your curious, we see him with some random friends in volume 4, but we really don’t KNOW what hyjinks and lojinks wallace gets up to. He’s pretty isoalted from the rest of the main cast, something I hope an adaptation could fix as while realistic i’td be curious to see what his relationship with Kim or Steven would be like. Just food for thought. 

Point is this was a good scene. But as is typical for Kim’s life just when she has some serenity her ex crashes back in. In this case Scott needs to rent some movies, kim works at a rental store and god teenage me really wanted a clerks style spinoff.. but enough spinoff talk. Scott asks kim to bororw them, of course and explains he’s training for his fight with Lucas.. which Kim reacts to finding out her second best friend is in a series of death matches. 

She has understandable questions such as how the hell doe she know that and is he stalking Lucas and just hoping he’s an ex.. which let’s face it would be a very scott move. But nope Wallace told him, likely learning in an interview he dated Ramona or is coming for scott because he knows everything. We also get one of my faviorite exchanges when Kim wonders why Wallace and Scott are roomates.. a valid question he deflects by saying i’ts a long story. 

Also yeah, as much as casting Micheal Cera backfired for the movie.. that panel there proves there wasn’t another choice at the time. When you want a loveable, somewhat douchey, but also somewhat innocent and oblivious slacker.. who you gonna call. Also before we move on.. Kim.. how are you this suprised. You were there for the fight with Matthew. And Ramona giving out the exposition on why he’s there.. and you even did that whole weird space channel 5 thing no one ever did agian and to this day I will never understand what O’Malley was going for and only know the refrence by hearing that’s what it was. Point is you shouldn’t be this suprised.  Anyways we next cut to Ramona and Stacey, as Ramona enters her workplace, second cup, and they talk and Scott’s spider sense goes off... 

I mean it’s just a bad feeling but still.. weird. WE’ll get back to that later. Scott is in the middle of his training.. and I love the mentor side of Wallace and feel it didn’t get used enough as the series went on. As said before he cares about Scott, so he serves as his Shounen Mentor and a great one: he’s stern and makes Scott work, but he also gets his student and what Scott needs to work. I just wish he’d taught Scott some actual combat, but as we see Wallace’s combat skills boil down to yelling useless info from the sidelines.. I mean he can be useful, we’ll see that next week, it’s just he’s not an action guy. But spirtually he’s the guy scott needs to kick his ass into shape. That being said his “training” consists of watching Lucas’ movies, playing tony hawk and when Scott wants to play more Tony Hawk, having Scott do pushups while Wallace plays Tony Hawk.  Before we turn... there is an elephant in the room I just gotta shoo out: Lucas.. is easily the worst setup of the 6 exes. Patel SEEMINGLY comes out of nowhere but his letter and email hint SOMETHING is coming up, and his flashy dynamic entry intro is damn cool and is what turns the series on it’s head, from an indie comic about a guy getting it together.. to that but with huge shonen dustups with epic visuals. Todd is introduced masterfully here, and is a presence from the start of volume 3 as a result, Roxie gets a slight tease in the free comic book day issue, and her not attacking for two months not only sets up tension but allowed for a red herring.. im’ not only hiding that the fourth ex is a she because anyone whose seen the movie or played the game knows the fourth ex is a woman. The cat’s out of the bag, no sense hiding it. The Kentangis show up pretty early on and Gideon is hinted at and built up, as this towering, mysterious figure, his relationship with Ramona, who he is, why he set up the league, and just how fucking strong he is is all obscured, with his only four apperances simply teasing the big final showdown and giving him that much more mysitque. 

Lucas.. is just sorta intorduced like “Hey I gotta fight this guy”. There’s just.. nothing. Scott’s just gotta fight him because he’s next up and Wallace knows that because plot convience. It’s VERY lackluster given what comes before.. and frankly while I like Lucas, he’s the weakest plot and character wise. HE’s not even really EVIL, just a sellout and is more doing this because he has to I guess, and likely because of stuff we find out in Book 6 but sssssshhhhh. We’ll get more into that when the fight happens but it’s one of the books weakest points. The evil ex.. just feels like an afterthrought again despite there being no reason to. Thankfully this would never happen again as I said, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating. 

So we cut to Sex Bomb-Omb practice, and after that we get more tease for Clash at Demonhead. And Stephen.. is cool with them and entirely happy one of them made it, while Scott is understandably pisssed off about it and not happy one of his best friends is you know, promoting the band of his ex who broke his heart and as we’ll get more into next time, said rising career is what tore them apart. So yeah Stephen’s a dickhead, and I was wrong last time that he got better. He really.. dosen’t. He gets less CREEPY.. but out of the main 6 characters he’s the weakest: he dosen’t have much of an arc, does some very questionable shit in the second half, and his being around means we have to suffer through Julie. I’ll tear into him more on a case by case basis but for once Scott’s not overreacting. While Kim does nothing she also has no idea just HOW bad things were and Scott won’t tell her. Stephen was there the whole fucking time. He just saw Scott’s rebound with a teenager. He knows he was kind of messed up after this. Dosen’t justfiy knives but still he looses the moral high ground he tries to have at times. 

So while Scott shops a song for Ramona to her, Knives calls Scott’s place clearly setting up another suprise apperance. Wallace.. figures out what sh’es doing quick and simply gives her a stern “You have to go” And to me it’s not him being a dick.. he’s both trying to save her from seeing Scott with Ramona and fucking her up worse... and is looking out for her. She needs to move on and moving up to stalking Scott’s not going to help that. Scott dosen’t WANT her anymore, and while he handled it bad, Wallace gets she needs to see that. Granted he could’ve you know explained it to her and tried talking, but as i’ve said he’s not a perfect person and he was also on a time table to get her out of there in case Scott you know, showed up with his new girlfriend and made things a billion times worse. And the two are indeed headed to his place to watch one of Lucas’ movies, and part of that weak setup is that Ramona.. just has no connection with him. It was high school. Scott also pretends he dosent’ remember his. You are a lying liar sir stop that.  So they watch the film together hanging out, and it’s.. really bad. The good one was rented out. I miss rental stores.. a magical time. I mean i’ts better now, streaming means 80% of movies are avaliable if you have a bunch of services and even if you just have netflix or hulu or hbo max, you still get a pretty decent selection each month. Plus digital rentals are super easy. Do miss redbox though. I mean it’s still there I’m just warry of something that relies so heavily on touching things in a state with a lot of trump morons. You CAN get Covid twice and I don’t wanna. Also we get some dated Dialouge as Scott commenting on Lucas being hot, he is good taste Scott, is given a “good job convincing me your not gay”. He and ramona end up having sex though so .. yay? I dunno. The series has a really weird thing about not getting bisexuals exist and as someone whose bi, and really against bi errasure it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Though given O’Malley apparently has not only far more queer rep in snotgirl but a bisexual lead, he’s clearly learned so i’m not going to drag him too hard on this. It was the early 2000′s. People were pretty damn stupid about this. Creators have gottten MUCH more important issues much worse. 

So the next morning, Scott gets a call from his well meaning but ditzy mom, and reacts like you’d expect. His parents are in Europe to keep them out of the action and what not. Though apparently according to the last book his mom did read volume 3 at least. Or Wallace told her about the relevant bit. You make the call. 

So i’ts Ramona’s turn to meet Sex Bomb-Omb. The group hang out and discuss Gordon Downie. 

Look I don’t know indie bands. I have no idea who the tragically hip are I just know the name is really hipstery. We also get the recipe for Vegan Shepards Pie. None of them are vegan they just wanted to try it and I.. really want to make this some time. Just to see if it’s any good. But yeah it’s in general a fun casual scene, as Kim reveals she and Scott dated, just to break the tension, and Scott tries out Rammy but quickly backpedals. Just fun slice of life stuff. Oh and Knives is watching them from the window and takes Scott dating someone else as well as you’d expect. 

So she gets some hair bleach to do some highlights and calls her friend Tamara over. We met her last volume as she dragged her along to the show, but it’s here we really get to know what she’s like.. i.e. the sane one in the duo, rightfully pointing out Scott’s not that great. Also Knive’s points out ramona’s “fat”, which is thankfully portrayed as petty sniping as while Ramona does have some curves it’s you know.. not remotely a bad thing and the kind of thing a teenage girl would harp on. Still she’s just in STEPS from this happening. 

But yeah.. it’s clear here Knives has some underlying issues to address and really needs therapy  not to go after her ex’s current girlfriend with knives. I mean it’s in the name but still. Then again volume 4 has her dad going around with a katana or something like it wanting to murder her daughter’s older ex boyfriend he dosen’t realize is ex so it’s clear her whole FAMILY needs some therapy. But this does round her out and show there’s more to her.. a pretty violent and obessive side sure, but it shows she wasn’t just some one dimensional ego boost for scott but a person. One whose just as flawed as the rest of the cast.. but more sympatheic because they’ve all got about 6 or 7 years on her and at this age that’s a lifetime. And while Scott DID set this off by dating her which was objecitvely a bad idea... the rest of this isn’t remotely on him. He handled things BAD.... but all he wanted was for both of them to move on. Knives.. simply can’t admit Scott is not a nice person, was probably two timing her as Tamara points out, which as we know he 100% was, and is not some perfect guy she can’t replace: like Knives.. he’s just a person with faults and she’s too blind to see that. 

So before we can get to the crazy stalker ninja fight, let’s instead get to Scott and Ramona hanging out where we meet Gideon, Ramona’s Cat who i’ll call Cat Gideon, both because I love steven unvierse and because it’s less confusing. This is a pretty slight scene as Ramona admits not a lot happened with Lucas and Scott’s apartment is a hole.. which yeah, yeah it is. Also she DEFINTLY dind’t cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys. Which would come off worse if it wasn’t for the pact Ramona was clearly doing it out of regret and Scott just liked like 50 pages ago about rembering his exes when one of them is his second best friend.. which neither would admit but you know it’s true. Stephen is third where he belongs. 

So next morning it’s fight time, and Scott is glad wallace is going with him. It’s awkard going to fights alone. Which leaves me to wonder if before this comic Scott just.. fought random guys letterkenny style. Like they’d call up, schedule it and then he and one or more of his friends would go beat up a guy. It’s just.. hilarious knowing that this kind of thing is common in canda minus the ki attacks , flash effects, wizards, vegan psycics, ninjas, and roboticists. But damn I now want a scott pilgrimized letterkenny now more than ever. You know you do too don’t deny it. I”d love to see the hard right jay fight but iwth a loud “KO!” when he gets his ass knocked out. Also Casa Loma is a very real, very cool Toronto location, as I never realized as a kid, to the point that the lucas fight was filmed there for the movie. 

So Scott approaches Lucas a bit star struck and upon finding out scott is.. punches him out as seen in the header image and throws him into a tower. When Scott regains conciousness, Kim and Neil have arrived and Lucas calls a time out. And it’s here we get to, while being the weakest of the 7, why I like Lucas.. he’s actually a pretty nice guy. At WORST he sold out. But the two have a pretty nice conversation over ritz and baby carrots, with it turning out, unsuprisingly Ramona did cheat on him with a cocky pretty boy, and while like Ramona he’s clearly moved on, it still hurts a bit and understandably so. He also warns scott while she might seem nice i’ts an act. 

I mean it isn’t ALL an act, but she does have a tedency to put up walls and act pretty badly as we’re slowly finding out.. though given Scott does the exact same it only means.. she’s human. She’s not MUCH higher above him in terms of morality and this is where we get our first peaks into the fact the series isn’t just about Scott’s development but hers. But it’s understandably absent from volumes 1 and 2 since we need to know her first, and this volume is about getting to know her a bit and get a feel for who she is, something I ddin’t really get a grip on as a teen, but do now. We see more of who she is good and bad as the walls go down. She’s more SURFACE LEVEL functional than scott, but beneath it has a lot of the same exact issues.  Lucas and Scott continue to GENUINELY bond, as Scott genuinely thinks the guy is talented and Lucas want’s an Oscar this year.. maybe not for the current film which is a romantic comedy with a teen star but hey, stars have done far worse in their Oscar years. I mean at least he’s not making a comedy about himself in a fat suit domestically abusing himself in a wig while he also plays an asian sterotype. He explains he almost didn’t get into the league but felt too important to ramona’s past.. plus he looks cool. Plus they let Patel in despite barely being in a relationship with her and being kind of a tool so they kinda had to let the handsome affiable movie star in. Scott wonders “wait league” and Lucas is understandably frustrated to find out Patel just sent a letter Scott didn’t read.. and at Matthew let’s be clear. I mean.. Gideon has to have known Scott wouldn’t read that since he’s been in his head. We’ll get to that in part 6. Point is they formed a league, hence why their organized enough to come after him like this and Scott understandably glares at Wallace for you know, having him play tony hawk and watch movies yet missing the fucking obvious clue they were all working together and they were only coming at him one at a time by choice. 

Lucas offers to just.. take a bribe and SAY Scott beat him, Scott calls him a sellout jokingly and Lucas proves that while not AS bad as the rest of the League, he’s still a dick by telling him to kiss ramona’s sweet ass goodbye pilgrim. Okay either he’s seen her since high school or he’s fondly remembering a high schooler’s ass. Neither one is nice to think about. But Scott gets out of his ass beating by pointing out a ramp, real thing too used for the movie, and asking him to skate down it. Lucas says i’ts impossible, and Scott just whistles. So Lucas tries skating the impossible and dies via velocity. Yes really. Scott collects his change and gets a gift, a mytryil skateboard he.. can’t use because he dosen’t have a proficency for it and bemoans not picking it up in 5th grade. Also he didn’t get his autograph. He does get some coins though so neat.   Yeah I mentioend Lucas was the least of the exes and I stand by it: He’s an intresting character, not a GREAT person but clearly a charming and nice enough guy who likely offered the bribe not because he’sd a sell out but because he genuinely liked scott, and is easily the best adjusted of the exes. But obviously a near non existant setup and a really hilarious and unsastifying finish just.. don’t really feel sastsifying. I mean i’t slampshaded, but after all the build up of her having 7 evil exes, the next one is just..filler. Not BAD, but not really anything special and giving Scott a an early pokemon victory, but unlike ash having done nothing to really DESERVE it.  Thankfully both adaptations so far VASTLY improved on this. While Lucas is still affiable in the movie he’s also smarmy, if on better terms with Ramona, saying “he seems nice” after the tower throw and throwing in some stunt doubles. His fight goes from one of the least satisfying and weakst of the series, to easily one of the best of the movie. We’ll talk about that more there but obvious Chris Evans version is far superior, keeping the good traits while giving us an intresting fight.. and still keeping the skateboard death because it’s fucking hilarious and the movie improves on THAT too by having scott give flat wows as he slowly dies. The game likewise keeps teh skateboard death, if shortening it, and the skateboard, and while not changing his apperance does make him a hell of a tough boss. Took three tries and some online grinding to take him out. Still a hell of a fight. Point is while I genuinely like Lucas story wise.. this just dosen’t work for me and is pretty damn weak, even if it gives us some godo character insight we could’ve got that, and a fight and still had the finish we did. 

That being said.. we DO get a fight instead, likely why the Lucas fight was so truncated. Next chapter and that evening or the next day or whatever, we pan over the real life tornto refrence library. It is a VERY nice touch thatt the comic and it’s adpations use either real places in toronto or reasonable subsittues. While not canadian myself I love the place and hope to visit Tornoto some day when the world isn’t a living nightmare and it’s really nice that like New York for Marvel, Brian Lee O malley really makes the city feel integral to the comic, like it’s own character. But Knives is ominously perched above.  At second cup Scott is horrified to find Julie. Seconded. Julie takes the moment to give out to scott about him dating Ramona despite telling him no. Okay... 

Yeah as you can probably guess I don’t like Julie. She’s not a good character. The movie did her better, with the bleeping gag and aubrey plaza’s performance, but in the comic.. she’s just the worst. She sucks bad. If she were an ice cream flavor she’d be pralines and dick. While she’s fine on OCCASION, and actually works in the next volume, outside of that she just gets more unplesant, more unlikeable, more bitchy, more unfathomabbly assholish every. damn. volume. I”ll give out about that a bit then too but I have to put up with her for the entire damn comic. Now her being bitchy to Scott is fair to a point: Scott is a mess, and she’s loyal to Envy in the breakup, and Scott’s own friends drag him on a daily basis.  The problems are that she’s like that to EVERYONE, even Knives who isn’t about to stab her much as i’d like that. She’s unberable to Stephen whose tolerance for her is unfathomable, though the ending bits of volume 6 show maybe he just has terrble taste. She’s just a throughly unplesant, social climbing bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone. And it sticks out badly against the main cast; Scott is very bad with women and relating to people, but is also nice, charming and most of the damage he does is not intetional. Ramona puts up walls to keep others out but is also a responsible adult and often cuts through Scott, and at times others, internal bullshit. Wallace is an alcholic, but still a very responsible, very loveable guy who clearly cares about scott and supports him finacially and emotionally. Kim is VERY emotionally distant, very misntrhopic.. but also a good person who as we see as the series goes, has an inner light to her and often drags on Scott because she’s been putting up with his shit the longest and WANTS him to be better. Knives is an obessive and violent stalker.. who was also deeply hurt by an older man, dosen’t GET that her realtionship with scott was wrong and uneven, and is clearly not emtoinallyr eady for the deep feelings she’s having. And Stephen.. well he’s a talented guitarist but also enables scott and julie. Especially him enabling Julie. 

Point is their all pretty well rounded, llikeable characters with flaws. Julie.. is just an ass. And this scene demonstrates that with flying colors. While Scott does ignore her because he’s too worried about his sister and girlfriend becoming friends, understandably given Stacey knows all his dark secrets, Julie spends two pages giving out and treating scott like some bad guy for persuing Ramona against her orders. And i’m going to break down why.. this dosen’t work.. on any level for her.  1) Ramona is not Julie’s property. She’s a big girl with her own free will. They aren’t even remotely close: Julie met her only barely before Scott, and given the dream thing probably not even that. And you could say Julie is just looking out for her... she dosen’t know Ramona well enough to KNOW if Ramona is still smarting over Gideon. She probably was.. but she readily, once the awkwardness passed, went out with scott and dove right into the relationship. While there’s still some scars as we’ll see.. she CHOOSE to move on and that’s her choice. If she wasn’t ready, she woudl’ve turned him down or broke it off by now realizing it was a mistake.  2) Scott has no reason to listen to her. She hates his ass, somewhat justifably but still, she hates him and has been against him since fucking colllege. She took his exes side in the breakup despite Envy still being partly in the wrong but paints him as some abusive dickhead and not just an insesntive dickhead. To him he’s just some villian she needs to reign in for her cool friend who wants nothing to do with her and grows to justifably hate her over time. Scott and Julie TOLERATE each other. They are not friend,s they do not like each other and never will. They are around each other because of Stephen. That is it. If Kim , Wallace or Stephen had asked, or at least made him wait for kinves. he probablyw ould’ve or at least considered it since while they take the piss out of him, they genuinely care about him and actually have shown they care about something other than themselves! Speaking of which the cou de gras 3) She’s a selifsh bitch: She is NEVER not  in any volume seen as out for anyone but herself, and thus scott has no reason to trust her judgement. She berates Stephen, him and anyone who will listen, is only so loyal to envy because she’s famous, and as I said treats EVERYONE like dogshit.  And given Scott is still a very flawed guy.. it takes a LOT for him to be so right and he runs out screaming when Julie mentions her.

So back at the library, Ramona brought Stacey along because the place is a maze. Scott calls Stephen and calls julie evil.. which given the last two paragrahs. Yeah. She is. She really is. But that goes nowhere as he dosen’t have Stacey’s number. He also thinks Julie was responsible for this which while she’s very much not.. would it REALLY be that suprising that if Julie were there she would’ve introdcued the two and set up their little hangout just to piss scott off? God I’m  so sick of talking about her. 

So the two after dropping off Ramona’s package decide to hang out a bit.. not long as Ramona’s got shit to do, but hey I agree with her logic i’m curious about this palce too. But before they can go up an elevator Ramona spots incoming.. and thus we get the fight of the volume. Though given the next one has two climatctic fights and one or two before that, they easily could’ve had both.. this is still the highlight of the volume.  So Ramona snaps off a railing and before Stacey can give out about that she finds out WHY as Knives attacks with a pair of sais. And O’Malley did his homework as while you’d THINK it was just another dumb white person mistake.. O’Malley is asian, thoughw ether he’s candaian korean or canadian chineses, as his last name is korean but he has a large chinese cast in this very comic that might come from experince, I do not know and if you do know tell me. I’d like to refer to him properly as I don’t LIKE lumping all asian cultures into one basket. But not only that he did his home work, as Sai’s, while popularized in Okinawa Japan, were also used in other countries. I bring this up since I assumed it was just a simple mistake even knowing Brian was mixed-race, and was plesantly suprised to fine that know, I was the moron. And i’m fine with admitting that. 

So we get a damn good fight.. and Knives figures out Scott WAS cheating on her. Granted she assumes so due to seeing Ramona at the refrence Library, before he actually cheated and clearly blames Ramona for it, but still, it fucking hurts. Plus while her attacking Ramona, who initally assumes she’s gideon’s doing, which.. yeah sending a teenage assasian just to mess with her head does sound like him. So while Stacey does complain “ramona you can’t just tear out art objects” to which I say... yeah high, Stacey? NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW SCOTT’S EX IS TRYING TO KILL HER. SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF.  So we get one hell of a fight. It not only shows off that Ramona is one hell of a fighter herself, as is knives, but just how immature knives is, resorting to constnat fat jokes and taunts showing just how immature she is.. and unlike volume one where it was endearing and we just saw how sweet she was here it just comes off as mean, bitter, and uncomfortable. But again part of the series biggest charm is the main cast are all well fleshed out and throughly human. She’s doint this because she dosen’t know better and was raised in a house where, again as volume 4 will bear out, finding out her dad is going after scott with a samurai sword just warrants a “dad’s are so weird aren’t they” my point is her frame of refrence is a mite skewed. Plus this is a world where everyone but Stacey just calmly accepts big shonen fights break out, so it’s not that unsuaul to want to settle things with a fight and while i’ve joked about her killing Ramona we genuinely don’t know that was the goal> Could’ve been, easily given murder is peachy in this setting and just leads to a respawn according to O’Malley and would’ve just sent ramona back to her apartment. But I genuinely don’t think she has it in her to do it and while she could’ve planend to, she never would’ve. Plus Ramona easily leads the fight as while Knives uses hit and run tactics and tries make her follow.. Ramona is more annoyed than anything as she has shit to do. Knives only gets one hit in and while i’ts a pretty nasty scratch on the cheek, if thankfully not scarring.. Ramona shrugs it off when she brags about it and easily takes knives down with a potted tree. Knives runs and while she tells herself it’s to fight another day.. its really because her opponent was WAY stronger and way more ready for something like this than she probably planned on. She did defintely want a fight, she just wasn’t prepared to be outmatched so handily. It’s also a nice  parallel to last book’s fight: Like with Scott and Matthew,  while the fight SEEMS pretty even, in reality our hero/heroine was alwasy teh one in control and easily took care of the less experinced and less ready upstart, who likely wasn’t expecting a fair fight much less to loose. 

So Ramona and Stacey wisely get out while Stacey explains Knives is indeed Scott’s ex, though is unaware of the cheating thing. Speaking of Scott he’s playing sonic and knuckles, and in fact kept wallace on the line before just to get advice because of course he did hence why stacey didn’t get through to him, but gets a call... from Envy. 

This is easily the second best sequence in the boook, which was lovingly and wonderfully adapted to film and as a result I cannot read it without hearing Brie Larson’s voice for Envy , a nice mixture of seduction and condescension. It’s CLEARLY painful fo rhim, and we do get some things established as Envy toys with him, that it’s been about a year and that she left him for a cocky pretty boy, familiar.. and while Scott claims to not know what he looks like.. given Todd is clearly on her band cover... it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together. So after some awkard catchup and Scott telling her about ramona against his will, we get to the reason she’s here with Scott understanndbly being supscious and calling her a user.. which while Envy denys.. she ends up admitting to. She’s coming to town as estalbished and her opening act backed out, and since Scott has a band, and one that 2/3 of which she knows, she wants them to open for her.  Scott naturally isn’t too intrested and thinks it’s just pity. The sequence. is masterful, using a watchmen style 9 by 9 panel layout and intercutting scott’s pained reactions and clear lack of comfort with flashes of envy on her side.. never showing her proper, but showing his memories or what he’s seen in magazines. It’s really striking and really sells the sheer discomfort Scott’s going through.  So soon after Wallace gets home.. and finds Scott, drained and miserable on the floor, not even responsive. And this really is the scene that shows me that Wallace cares for the guy and cements that asshole he may be, he loves his buddy. He goes through possible scenarios that fit scott: Food poisoning, finding out Wallace saved over his final fantasy save (though he rules it out as last time that happened he was crying), that ramona dumped him.. before Scott let’s out a pathetic and miserable “Ennnnnvvv”. Wallace , who was at ground zero for that relationship as we’ll find out, realizes this and lets out a little shit, unsure how to help and pissed off at that bitch for once again hurting him like this. As I said it shows how Wallace knows scott in and out and loves him dearly.. and how he knwos about this paticuarly heartbreak better than anyone but Scott and Envy themselves. IT’s just a really tearjerking scene, as we get a sense of WHY scott spiraled into an ego boost of a relationship: His last one REALLY tore him in half, and he’s still not completely healed from the emtional bisection. 

So Scott gets more bad news next chapter as Stacey tells him about the fight and he’s worried he’s going to loose ramona on top of this. I mean he desrves it.. .but it’s clear she’s the best thing to happen to him after a really rough year of denial and poor decisionss and loosing her will likely only make him WORSE. He also breaks the bad news, to him at least to the band about the gig. Stephen, being kind of a dick who while understandbly excited about a big gig fails to see his friend REALLY isn’t happy about this nor remembers you know, that the person offering this tore his heart out indiana jones style and while they should take the gig despite the risks, it’s too big an opportunity not to, he should be fucking senstive about this. Kim however... has a suprising and heartbreaking reactoin to this. Which is spread over a few panels but i’m gonna string into one image for convince sake. 

Just.. DAMN. I honeslty missed this both as a teenager and as an adult when I read through the books last time but holy shit is this a heartbreaking little moment, even more with the development she gets in later books. Keep in mind, over two books so far, Kim.. really hasn’t shown a lot of emtion. The most upset she’s gotten was getting a bit pissed about another a girl drummer. The only other time we’ve seen her sad was at 17 when Scott left. Her only emotions that we could see were angry and surly. But here? She’s genuinely upset and we see her walls break down for the very first time.. and it’s with the clear indication she NEVER really got over Scott. She never got proper closure and while she hasn’t let it so.. it’s been VERY clear she's been grossly uncomfortable with how he just likes to brush off their history, something that very clearly still bothers her and understandably so: 6 years , while a lot of time, still really isn’t long enough to just .. FORGET your first boyfriend , how he made you feel or the fact he took your virginity and you took his. Stuff like that sticks with you.. I’m ony assuming on the virginity thing but my point remains: To Scott it’s SEEMINGLY nothing, when really he’s probably just trying to brush it off because he dosen’t like dealing with things and given how Kim is wrongly assumed she can’t feel pain. I mean to anyone else i’d be a fair assumption and even i’m not convinced if she touched a hot stove she’d burn, but that’s phsysical this is emotional. DIffrent playing fields. Point is Scott’s kind of a dick and not having ANY closure for anything, Kim is still smarting from him leaving as much as Scott is smarting from Envy dumping him.  And it somehow gets MORE painful.... which should’ve been the tagline for Bojack Horseman now I think about it but yeah: her line is what cuts me up the most “I saw her on the cover of Now. She’s pretty”. It’s a little line, it’s easy to see why I missed it .. but the subtext really stings. It’s that despite being VERY pretty, I had a crush on her as a kid and I still do now.. Kim just can’t help but compare herself to someone whose now a glamrous rock star.  Their equally attractive but all Kim can see is ANOTHER person who Scott cared about more than her. Which seems petty but again he just.. abnadoned her. His moving wasn’t his choice but his not telling her as was framed earlier sure as hell was. And then just.. look at the next people he dates: A glamorous rock star (She wasn’t at the time but that’s for next week), a much younger girl who can’t possible challenge him, and an ultra cool american. To her.. it must feel like he just looks right through her to every other person intersted in him and never even consdered her as a person anymore. I mean.. jesus christ that hurts.. and makes me hate Stephen more since you know he dosen’t notice any of this.. though at least unlike with Scott it’s a bit more understandable because Kim’s so unflappable and he’s already ignoring very obvious and transparent emotional pain why shouldn’t this be any diffrent.  So yeah no one’s happy about this, and that ends up including Stephen as he’s so insecure about his band’s talent he’s pretty sure they suck when their probably at least adaquate. 

So while Scott dosen’t say anything, it’s clear he’s at least consdiering the offer as when we next see him he and ramona are heading to Envy’s show. And honestly it’s just a really sweet scene as Ramona asks about envy and the two banter and hold hands. A really nice palletee clensar since hte last few pages were like I was the one lucas socked in the gut. Also she assures him she dosen’t hate him, and asks about how the breakup happened, turning down any offers to hear the good times.  It was new years eve one year ago, and he mentions it was over her leaving to meet some guy named Todd.. and Ramona finds the story familiar but brushes off Scott wondering if her todd and Envy’s todd wer ethe same guy as a douchey joke. When prying about what happened otherwise, Scott admits it was all a blur.. Ramona isn’t ahppy with the answer.. but it’s nto like it’s that unresonable: he was in deep with Envy, and the breakup was damn bad to the point it took a year for him to recover and end up in the relationship he is now and the one before this was clearly a cry for help. It also helps reinfroce just how much Wallace was there for him and probably WHY Wallace hates Envy so much. They probably live together simply because Scott needed a place after college, was in zero condition to get a job or do anything given his zombie like state.. and Wallace just had him move into his bed, platonically and into his place. It’s probably why while Wallace will complain ocasoinally he isn’t that on scott to find a job. He dosen’t need a paying roomate, they do fine just on his sallary and he has a steady, secure job in some sort of calling office, probably working in medical stuff like my mom. He needs his friend to be safe and happy, then he can get on his ass about being functional, as he is in present day. If nothing else this volume made me realize just how good a person Wallace is.  The one thing he CAN remember, to Ramona’s disbelif is a restraunt opening up, the job story he hinted at last volume: basically it was a fancy tex mex place called, and this is one of the best restraunt naems in the history of fiction brace yourself: The Gilded Palace of Flying Burritos. Naturally, as would I as I love tex mex and that name, Scott loved the place, ate there most of the week and like me with some places I liked waited impatietly to get a job. He did and they were even super generous as the food was FREE.  Which is a euphoric feeling I relate to, though I also liked any discounts I got. seriously when I worked at Bagel and Bagel a good chunk of my paycheck was eating there for dirt cheap every shift. I miss that place so much. Like even after I left there I still like a good bagel sandwitch. And it wasn’t covid or anything it was just low staffed and slowly coming apart due to a lack of a solid manager after Crystal, the manager who hired me, transfered to a store closer to her home, which I do not blame her for. 

Point is I get it even if Ramona thinks this is all made up. Anyways at Lee’s Place, based on the real life Leo’s place, everyone’s gussied up: Steven got an awful haircut and Kim... 

But no time to dwell on how great kim’s..everything is.. who DID  Neil bring to the concert? 

While Kim is VERY much enjoying this, everyone else is a bit freaked with Ramona getting assurance her and Scott dated breifly, with Kim quipping her and neil will probably date even breiflyer, and Stephen.. freaking out, wondering if she seduced him, and asking if they should take him out back and kick his ass.. 

Just..... that’s a lot of douche to unpack and this review has been VERY long and suprisingly hard already.. but fuck it, we don’t have much left to go let’s do this. Okay one did she seduce him.. I mean I GUESS, but really let’s be clear here: Neil is a horny, lonely, monosolobic 19 year old who lives with his sister’s college friend and whose life revovles around said guys band. Knives is adorable. She likely barely had to flirt with him to get him to say yes .As someone who was a lonely 19 year old doofus, I guarantee no matter the red flags I probably woudl’ve said yes provided she was 18 instead of 17, despite the abudant red flags such as neil vaugely looking like scott, neil being the one single man within scott’s circle to get her way back in, as Knives hasn’t realized she’s bi yet or given how much she looked up to Kim, she probably WOULD’VE gone for it. As would any sane person, which neither knives nor I entirley are. So she didnt’ so much seduce him as offer him a girlfriend he didn’t have and him being too intrested in having a sweet, caring girl on his arm to see the giant army of adrestian soldiers needed to carry all the red flags this presents. 

And as for “do we need to kick his ass. “ Stephen.. did you kick SCOTT’S ass? No, you fucking abetted him and only stepped in for the good girl thing. You did NOTHING to stop his relationship with knives or tell him he was screwing up or look out for that girl’s well being. This will bite him in the ass even harder in volume 5, but even now it just makes him look REALLY fucking bad that, even if he probably dosen’t mean it, that’s at all on the table. Also.. Neil, unlike scott is doing slightly less wrong. While he is 20 to her 17, three years.. it’s HALF of what Scott and her’s age diffrence is, and far more equal in power structure. It’s still not.. GREAT, but my point is you did NOTHING when Scott did this, for far flimiser and less forgiavble reasons.. but when NEIL, whose been nothing but weirdly loyal to you dates her, you want to kick someone’s ass. I mean yes he’s being stupid: in a clear role reversal of the Scott and Knives situation, it’s obvious just from her expression that KNVIES is the one in control here, and the one using someone to ease her own pain. Granted it’s wrong, if not as wrong as Scott should techincally know better and Knives very clearly dosen’t, as well as get into a show of her faviorite band. Is what she’s doing wrong.. yeah... while she can’t see it again it’s what Scott did just not QUITE as fucked up due to not being AS embalanced. Should neil probably be dating her after scott did ? No. But should you be threatning him and not scott for you know, setting all this in motion? No. Jesus christ you suck Steven. 

Thankfully while Scott presumibly calms Stephen down, Kim spots Hollie and her roomate Joseph, who will be suprisingly important. He’s very gay, very quite, very bearded and is only hear because the bass player is hot and when prodded on it....

Well said. Also I read that with John Heder’s voice fo rsome reason.. don’t know why, his career ended as quickly as it began because he REALLY did not pick his films well. He saw that he was going to be in a film with David Spade and Rob Schinder and didn’t fire his agent for suggesting it. Meanwhile Scott and Ramona run into Sandra and Monique, Scott’s old classmates who just sorta.. show up every so oftne, often backing up Julie because every Alpha Bitch needs a posse. As Boscha has proven once you loose your posse you loose your bitchy powers. They also ask if Scott and Ramona are an item which leads to a fantagious visual gag. 

Also Stephen awkardly talks to the new couple, about how much Knives loves the band, and because why start reading the room now just sorta.. CASUALLY slips in the fact he knows her is because she and scott dated. 

Granted Knives action this book really EARNED her that curveball.. but still, it’s transparently clear she’s both not over Scott and Neil’s a placebo, and that she loves the band... how the fuck did you get through college, much less get two loyalish friends Steve. 

Kim tries to hide when she runs into Sarah whose with.. someon O Malley does not know, literally captioning it “I don’t know htis girl”. Fucking love that gag even if SOMEHOW kim is the roomate they all hate. Despite hte fact as the side story will bare out, her roommates are all pretty obnoxious, so i’ts probably because she’s the only sane person in that group and their VERY lucky kim just dind’t set the place on fire on her way out and let god do what he should’ve a long time ago. Also we meet Lynette, the band’s drummer who smokes “She must be evil” “Still hot though”... both accurate. Also Luke wilson is there.. no really. Just holy shit that’s awesome.  Okay so with all of that out of the way, it’s time for the show. So after a full volume’s build up , and a really cool build up in the page before we finally properly meet clash at the demonhead, and miss envy adams. 

Heck of  a reveal and not the only one as ramona realized what the audience probably already guessed....

Dun dun dun! And since I don’t like leaving a cliffhanger dangling lest I have to... we’ll be getting to this next week.. what you thought i’d say right now or tommorow? This was a lot. But no i’m not leaving you too long. Next week, Evil Ex Crossover! Ramona and Wallace become BFF’s! We learn what the deal with Scott and Envy is! Scott faces the Ken to his Ryu! And Wallace gets a boyfriend. All this and more next week. for now...

Final Thoughts: This one.. was a VERY rough one to review and it ties back to this volume’s biggest problem: it is not paced very well. Like the series as a whole it has a pretty easy going, slice of life pace. The only ones without this kind of easy pacing are 3 and 6, and even 3 has some slice of life bits, their just both more focused due to the events going on. This one... well....

Pretty much. While this one has very important stuff going on, Scott and ramona getting closer, ramona getting more fleshed out, Wallace showing how deep his character is, Kim also getting fleshed out quite a bit, Knives showing off her crazy side, setting up the next volume, the second ex fight.. it’s all just kinda.. jumbled together. It’s not really until the knives fight onward the book takes on some really solid pacing and really gets going.It’s not a BAD book: ther’es some REALLY good character stuff as I dug into.. but the pacing is just really loose and without the Evil Ex fight as an anchor and with ramona and scott just sorta.. getting to know one another, in both biblical and non biblical senses, it dosen’t have either of the series main narrative thrusts. Even the knvies subplot really amoutns to nothing for now, as Ramona dosen’t find out Scott’s a cheater, and only distrusts knives now. That’s about it. It does improve on book one in characterization, with eveyrone being MUCH cleearer in terms of who they are and settling into their iconic selves nicely. Wallace’s more selfless and protective side pops up, Ramona starts to show mroe of her personality good and bad, Scott’s better traits are mixed a bit mor eeven with the douche ones,  Knive’s far more unstable and violet stalker side emerges, and Stephen.. well fuck him, point is things are coming together.. but O’Malley still isn’t quite at peak power yet. Not bad and still worth a read like last time, just a bit uneeven is all. That being said... if you want O’Malley at his peak.. well then come back next week. Until then i’ll be doing my usual buisness of reviewing birds, refrencing simpsons and letterkenny, and putting my eyes back in after kim’s look up there. For now the sun’s setting and i’m out of here. 

[dem-cp-hoes]

Sorry to bother you, but can you do some wholesome/cute head canons for the creepypastas please?

You're not bothering at all, no worries😊

Though I think these turned out to be general hc rather than cute but... 🤷‍♀️

---------------------------------------------------

Jeff:

I think it's pretty much canon that Jeff names his knives. Most people would think that he gives them badass names but nah...

His favorite is named Martha, no one else is allowed to touch her

There's also Kule, Austin and Annie, sometimes he talks to them (mostly about Liu)

No, you can't point it out/comment on it, it'll upset him

Smile is his best friend, Ben is jealous

His hair gets curly after a few days, which means he has to straighten it with an iron

He also puts his hair buns, or ponytails around the house (he looks good tbh)

^the reason he always has hair ties as well

He's either dead asleep or hasn't slept for 4 days straight, there's no in-between

Not a total asshole all the time, surprisingly

He doesn't make mean comments about things that hit too close to home

Like, sure he's gonna tease Toby for his ticks but he's never gonna mention his sister

He makes up his own curse words

He puts on chapstick, but no one knows

Everyone knows, they've seen him, Ben has a video

He talks during movies, questioning the logic and making comments about characters' decisions, nobody minds bc it's hilarious since everything he says is on point

He drinks the sweetest coffee with milk and 3 spoonfuls of sugar at least

Loves romantic movies, but he has a reputation

Has a small cactus in his room, it was a gift from Ben, he takes good care of it

Ben:

He has freckles!!! He has freckles everywhere!!! (sorry I got excited, I just love freckles) but bc of the whole dead/demon thing, you have to get close to him of you want to see them

Owns a lot of fandom themed hoodies and t-shirts

He can mimic a lot of cartoons' voices, including the jigglypuff song, it's quite impressive

He's very proud of it

Ben is a genius, since he's mostly attached to a computer he has access to anything the internet has to offer, so lots of knowledge

Sometimes he can answer like Alexa/Siri does if someone calls his name and asks something

The others think he can't control it and ask him things all the time

He absolutely can control it and only does it to fuck with them by giving them bullshit answers that sound legit

He collects action figures, what a dork

Has a hamster, his name is Picachu

He gets teased a lot over it, let him live pls

The others secretly love it tho

Loves to watch people argue through their cameras

He lives for the drama

"Ben what are u doing?" "I'm watching this couple in New Jersey, apparently Sharon cheated on Nick again, but this time with his sister!!!"

When he giggles/gets embarrassed his ears become bright red

Sits on the floor, sits on tables, sits on Jane, Slender is convinced he doesn't know what a chair is

Jack:

Any perfume with a very heavy scent makes him sneeze a lot

He refuses to believe he is hurt/sick

Jack, while being held down by all the proxies: Guys, I told you I'm fINE, I CAN WORK TODAY, JUST LET ME GO!!

He has a lot of animal mannerisms

Like licking someone he likes on the cheek, purring/growling, sniffing etc

Bruh, you scratch behind his ears or under his chin and his whole chest vibrates with purring

He tilts his head on the side when he's confused, like a dog

Loves scented candles, he has a bunch of them in his room

His favorite scent is lavender

He can in fact eat human food, it just can't sustain him all that well and anything that is not overly seasoned tastes bland

With that being said, he loves spicy food bc he can taste it properly

Jane screamed when she saw him eat an entire plate of ghost peppers with no milk

The jingle of keys makes his head turn sharply towards the sound, once again like a dog

He can fall asleep anywhere, and I mean anywhere

The porch? More than once

In another's room? Of course

In slender's office? That was quite an interesting thing to explain

In the middle of the kitchen? Yeah, once

He's just a sleepy boi

Jack is the one who knows everyone's ticklish spots bc gives check ups

Likes listening to audio books on his free time

Masky:

He drinks Irish coffee (for those of you who don't know, it has alcohol in it)

Once Masky called Slender dad (sleep deprived) and then proceeded to slam his head down on the table and say a bad word

Sally once made him a flower crown for his birthday

He refused to take it off for 5 hours!!

Won't sleep with less than 2 pillows

He considers his one True near death experience to be when he almost choked on one of Jane's fake eyelashes (long story)

He has mastered the 'disapproving face' game', even when he wears the mask, you can feel it's there

He's around Toby, what did you expect?

Doesn't trust giraffes ("why are they so fucking long????")

He has a very contagious laugh when he really laughs, even when he just grins

Can give the best hugs, hands down

Like you feel so warm and protected when he hugs you

And it doesn't help the fact that he smells like the forest after a rainy day.... (now I want a hug)

Hoodie:

He has dirt on everyone

Mainly bc he's quiet and reliable so people tell him stuff

Has Masky saved in his phone as 'Bae' and when people see it they ask, "Is he your boyfriend?"

And he replies with, "Nah, it stands for Biggest Asshole Ever"

Drinks tea by the gallon

Reigning champion of "How many objects can we put on Jeff while he sleeps"

Hoodie has those "hoe don't do it" moments pretty much every day

Jeff trying to start shit, Ben is planning a prank on someone, someone insulted Slender. Every time

Award winning smile

His hair is the softest thing ever I swear-

Will make tea for anyone he sees that's having a rough day

He likes to sketch people, he's actually pretty good

He likes to read books to calm down

If someone wants to he will read out loud to them

Toby:

Don't give him energy drinks

It won't make him hyper, oh no, but it will make him do dumb shit

Once, Helen made the mistake of handing him a red bull, and let's just say he was found playing a mix between 'the floor is lava' and 'don't let the balloon touch the floor'

It was intense

President of Protect the Bees and very proud of it

Will follow through with literally any dare, he takes impulsivity to new levels

Will let Sally do his hair and dress him up to play princess

That friend who sends you fucking memes at 3am just to be a prick

It's easy to get him flustered, especially if someone flirts with him

He is obsessed with sour sweets, not even he knows why

There's no such thing as personal space, he's comfortable around everyone

Gets excited when he sees a cartoon on tv from when he was a kid

Places the stickers Sally gives him on the headboard of his bed

He knows how to say, "can I pet your dog?" in 4 languages

[t-h-e-seance-tua]

You Named Her After Mom?

Hey, this was requested by @timeforsomehprp , sorry it took so long. I didn’t know how to write it + had other oneshots that I got distracted by but here it is. Also, I really don’t like the start and I got a bit carried away at the end but here it is Original Request: Can you please write about an Hargreeves children x reader where the reader is a part of the 47 children and also got adopted. When she comes back to see their father off everyone is surprised since she left as soon as possible. Then when five tells them about the world ending and how he needs everyone’s help she refuse because she’s started a family with a good job, and has a baby to take care of. Everyone is upset since they didn’t know any of her new found life. You can decide how it ends.

You didn’t want to be there. In fact, it was the last place you wanted to be but you knew you had to face your family again. It was the day of your father’s funeral and you knew that everyone would be there. You had guilt weighing you down though because the last time you saw them all, you left without saying a word when you were 17. You slowly walked up the steps to the door, taking a deep breath and trying to override the fear that was sitting in your chest. You stood there for a second before finally deciding to knock on the door. As soon as you did though, you felt yourself calm down and ready to face the others. You waited a while and thought that no one had heard you knocked so you went to turn around. As soon as you did though you could hear the door open and you spun around to face whoever it was.

“Y/n?” Diego questioned, standing in the doorway looking you up and down in shock. He hadn’t seen you in years and didn’t expect you to be here today considering no one knew how to contact you.

“At least I think I am. Can I come in?” You replied jokingly before barging your way into the house.

“U-Uh, yeah. Sure?” Diego answered, now standing alone at the door confused. No one had heard from you in years.

“I’m here guys!” You called out walking towards the living room.

“Is that-” Allison began to question, sending a confused look to Luther.

“Oh yes, it is,” Klaus smirked, taking another sip from his concoction of alcohol. “Things are going to get interesting.”

The talking came to halt as you stood in the doorway.

“Y/n? You’re here?” Allison questioned, standing up and walking towards you.

“Yes I am, why is everyone so surprised by this?” You answered, giving her a hug before going around giving everyone a hug.

“Well, it’s just that after you left we didn’t hear anything from you since you left so-,” Luther tried to explain before getting cut off by you.

“So you assumed I didn’t want anything to do with the family?” You asked. Everyone dropped their eye contact and looked around awkwardly, giving you your answer. “Well, I didn’t. I wanted nothing to do with dad. I wanted a life. I’m sorry,” I told them before walking towards the kitchen.

“What’s mom cooking? I’m starving.”

Everyone just looked at each other and chuckled.

“Well, she still acts the same.”

A few days later, you were all standing around in the living room as Luther tried to tell everyone about his findings of the apocalypse.

“Klaus, you’re with me,” Luther said, watching Klaus on the lounge.

“Yeah. I-I’m good, I think I’ll- I think I’ll pass. I’m feeling a little under the weather, so,” Klaus mumbled before leaving the room without another word.

“Alright then. Y/n, you’re with me,” Luther tried again, turning to face you.

“I just can’t Luther, I can’t go out there and risk my life like we used to,” you retaliated, crossing your arms.

“Well, why not?” Luther questioned, growing annoyed as he couldn’t see any reason behind it.

“Because I just can’t!” You raised your voice.

“Why?!” He yelled as everyone watched in shock as you both screamed at each other.

“Because I have a family now!! I graduated college with a Doctor of Pharmacy Degree before running my own pharmacy,” You yelled at Luther before recomposing yourself and speaking in a small voice. “I’m married now. I have two kids waiting for me at home. Austin is 3 and Grace is only 3 months old. I’m not putting my neck on the line because I don’t want them to grow up without a Mom. I already saw how we suffered from losing Ben,”

Everyone looked at you in shock, not daring to say a word. None of them had none about your personal life. None of them had asked.

“Yo-You named her after m-mom?” Diego stuttered.

“Of course I did. She was the only role model I had,” You muttered, looking down at your hands. “So forgive me if me I’m not willing to help,” You ended the conversation before calmly walking out of the academy, heading home.

You were at home, trying to calm down the anger inside you as you sat with Austin in your lap.

“And then Daddy took me to get ice cream!” Austin exclaimed. You had left the kids at home with their father that day but when you had came home he went to work, leaving you with the kids for quality time together.

“Did he?!” You replied excitedly. You had already known he had ice cream though as his mouth was still covered in dried up ice cream. You heard the phone start to ring in the kitchen as you put Austin on the ground with his toys.

“Mommy will be back in a minute,” You told him before going to the kitchen and quickly grabbing the phone.

“Hello?” You asked, walking around the counter but not too far due to the phone cord, trying to see Austin and make sure he was okay.

“Hey, y/n. It’s Diego,” A voice rang out

“Oh hey! Sorry I left so quickly yesterday. Couldn’t stand being in the same room as Luther after all that,” You laughed.

“Nah, I understand. I was actually calling because I wanted to ask if you were telling the truth,” Diego asked.

“About having kids and my own business? Yes, of course I was telling the truth!” You chuckled. “Do you want to talk to Austin?”

“U-Uh yeah,” Diego replied, a bit worried he would stuff up.

“Austin, honey! Come here for a second!” You called out. You could hear his little padded feet starting to run down the hallway before running into your legs. You crouched down to his level before talking to him

“Honey, I’m on the phone to your uncle Diego. You remember me telling you about him, right?” You asked.

“Yeah, he plays with knives!” Austin exclaimed. You could hear Diego chuckle on the phone as you smiled.

“Yes he does, but remember only he is allowed to. Anyway, he wants to talk to you,” You told Austin before giving him the phone.

“Hi, unky Diego!!” He basically yelled.

“Hi Austin,” you could hear Diego reply before they continued their conversation. You just went to the sink and started to clean a few dishes as you went into dreamland. You had always wanted a normal life when you were younger but never believed you would achieve it. Now you were living in your own house, with your husband and two kids before you noticed that Austin was nearly finished talking to Diego

“Bye, unky Diego! See you soon!” He shrieked into the phone and handing it back to you.

“I’m going to play with Thomas,” Austin told you before going off and playing with his Thomas the Tank Engine toys. Little did he know that they were originally Diego and Klaus’s toys.

“You still there, Diego?” You asked, walking around to the island bench seat, getting an apple out of the fruit basket and cutting it up for Austin.

“Yeah, I’m here. He’s a great kid, y/n,’ Diego told you, completely smitten over your son.

“He really is. He’s gonna keep asking about you for the next two weeks now,” you laughed. Diego and you kept talking for the next hour, talking about anything and everything that had happened to the both of you had done since leaving the academy when you were younger.

“You know what? Do you want to come over tomorrow and meet Austin and Grace?” you asked out of the blue.

“W-What? Are you serious?” Diego asked, taken off guard by your question. Even though he had already fallen for Austin, he wasn’t used to kids. He had actually never been around kids.

“Yeah! Austin already knows all about you and I know that you would absolutely love Grace,” You told him, finishing cutting the apple and putting it in a bowl. “Oh! And bring Klaus! We need to all catch up anyway. The Three Amigos reunited!” You exclaimed.

“Okay, I’ll bring him too,” Diego laughed. You suddenly heard Grace start to cry, alerting you that she was awake.

“I have to go. Grace just woke up but I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Alright, see you then,” Diego replied, getting excited to meet Austin and Grace tomorrow.

“But I swear Diego; no knives and no drugs!!

Taglist: @i-think-you-are-gr8

(Also if you want to join the taglist, send me a message (I did post something before but I got confused by people liking it. So if you gave it a heart and actually want to join the list just message me or drop a ‘yes’ in the request box, I’ll know what you mean

[joie-university-rp]

Dear VITYA CRISTO,

It is with great pleasure we invite you admission to Joie University! Welcome to the Thunderclap family!

-

Congratulations, KEN! Please be sure to check the New Members’ Checklist and send in your character’s account within 24 hours from now. We cannot wait to see all that you will bring to this roleplay! We love you already!

OOC INFORMATION:

Name/Alias; pronouns: Ken, he/him

Age, Timezone: 22, PST

Activity, short explanation: New job so activity will be lower but I’m still here!!

Ships: Vitya/Anyone (Sexually), Vitya/Men (Romantically)

Anti-Ships: None.

Triggers: None!

Preferred photo for Character’s ID : https://i.ytimg.com/vi/1mfjly7Dgd4/maxresdefault.jpg

Anything else: My feet hurt from this new job. Also, if there are any typos, I’m sorry, I wrote this tired.

IC INFORMATION:

Full Name: Vitya Alexsi Cristo

FC: Bill Skarsgard

Age/Year at University: 19, Freshman

Birth date: November 18th, 2000.

Hometown: Vladivostok, Russia.

Gender/Pronouns: Male, he/him.

Sexuality: Pansexual

Major(s): Creative Arts - Illustration

Minor(s): Gemology

Housing request: Beiste Dorms, Room 226

Extracurriculars: Freerunning/Parkour Club, Esports Club, Gymnastics

Greek Life Affiliation: None.

CHARACTER PROFILE (TW; Depression, suicidal tendencies, under age sex/drinking):

Vitya Cristo has always been the baby of his family. It was not due to his age, or order in the births of his siblings, but more his health. It was discovered in his infancy he was born with a congenital heart defect. His skin was pale, he would lose his breath while feeding, and his hands and feet would swell up. His father, being a rich man in the pharmaceutical industry, wanted to fix his boy, but the medical professionals said the case was not severe enough for infant surgery. In fact, he should live a relatively normal life. His father did not see it that way. While his siblings would wander their large, mansion-like house in Vladivostok, Vitya was ordered to stay indoors. He was not allowed to play sports if not escorted, and was even monitored by a personal nanny to most of his schooling. He was isolated, unable to be a regular child because of his helicopter-like father.

Vitya’s mother was the light of his life. The woman had a fire in her, one that was freer and looser than her husband. She loved the man, of course, but disagreed with how protective he was of their son. On nights where he was away, she would sneak Vitya into the fields and courtyards and let him run around and be free. One of Vitya’s most prized memories is running through their lawn with the fireflies. He loved these moments with his mother and he learned to never take the good things for granted.

When Vitya started to enter his teen years, his father would take him to work more and more. Some days, his father would show him the labs and workers that were developing medicines, pills, and more. His father was introducing him into the business, with the obvious intent to pass it on to him. It was a cushiony job, with minimal risk, and little to no physical activity and enough money to set him up for life. It was clear was his father was trying his best to keep his son sheltered as he entered those rebellious years. It was also during this time that Vitya started displaying depressive symptoms, including self-destructive tendencies like playing with lighters and razor knives. In a hope to loosen the leash, Vitya’s mother convinced her husband to send him to school instead of teaching him at home. He, woefully, agreed.

When Vitya was sent away to an all-boys boarding school, the hope was he would become a fine young man, ready to inherit the family riches and pharmaceutical business. At first, he lived every day as if his father was there, as if his nanny still tended to him. It all changed when one night, his dorm mate woke him up to sneak out for the night and meet several other boys at the river nearby. It was near mid-terms, and the boys needed a break. Little Vitya could barely contain himself when he saw all the contraband they brought along. Booze, weed, satellite internet for porn, and hours to get through it all. That night, he partied like an actual teen for the first time in his life. He had his first kiss that night, his first blowjob, and later, at around five in the morning, his first partner. He dove into the deep-end, his sheltered soul yearning for the release and freedom all this brought him. And he reveled in it.

Vitya lived a double life from then on. During his time at home, he was the model son. Well-behaved, well-spoken. But at school, away from prying eyes, he was an absolute devil. Hours of drunken parties, bad habits like casual sex and smoking being his two favorites, and sometimes, getting into physical fights when his anger got out of hand. Vitya and his growing band of misfits found a way to bypass the school’s firewall, getting access to explicit content without hindrance. Vitya’s grades started to slip, but he didn’t care. He kept them up enough so his father would be satisfied, but that did not mean he was studying more. There was many-a-teacher he had dirt on, blackmailing his way to reasonable grades. He became a terror on the innocent boarding school almost overnight.

With his time at the school coming to an end, Vitya knew one thing for certain; there was no way he was going to be some CEO ass, dominating over people he would never bother to learn the name of. He still played the model son, faking his way into his father’s good graces, but each sideways glance to his mother told her what he really wanted; to get out. So, she did the impossible. Under the sleeping eyes of his nanny and father, his mother woke him up and snuck him outside, just like when he was a child. This time, though, she handed him a packed bag, keys to one of the cars, and a plane ticket, telling him to go. She may love her life of luxury and easy living, but she knew this was not the place for her baby. She only asked that Vitya keep an eye on his health, and use those American doctors for all their worth.

Vitya left that night and never looked back. He started out in New York, wandering to all the sites. He went to Pittsburg, New Orleans, Austin, Los Angeles; he went everywhere, explored everything, and fucked anything that gave him ‘the look’. Vitya would even set up in some motels and just let anyone in, if they had cash in hand and a bottle of booze. He got into some hairier situations, too, when those very customers would catch him clearing out their wallet. He had been cut off from his father’s fortunes when he discovered his actions, so he needed to make money somehow!

It was sheer luck when he applied as a foreign student at Joie University. He really just needed a place to stay, running out of motels to sell his ‘services’ out of. He knew he’d have to get an actual job at some point, selecting an easy degree to go after. He did enjoy drawing while growing up, and left his lovely rock collection in Russia, so illustration and gemology seemed a perfect fit. If only he could kick the Russian accent, then maybe he could fit in a bit better.

STUDENT CENSUS SURVEY:

(Please answer the following questions IN CHARACTER. Responses can be as long or short as you see fit!)

What made you want to attend Joie University?

It is a secure campus with a good curriculum. The housing seems nice and the students friendly enough. I am looking for a place to plan roots, to get started in life, and I want it to be here. There are loads of opportunities here and I want to find them.

What are at least 3 positive or neutral and at least 3 negative traits that you believe you possess?

I’m intelligent. Beyond the classroom. I am good at reading people, what they want or need from me, which helps me understand my task. I know what I want, so I am very direct and leave little room for misinterpretation. I also have a morbid curiosity that can get me into trouble. All of these combined makes me somewhat abrasive, but that is their loss. And I am not very personable. I’ll do what needs to be done of me, but ask if I want to watch a rom-com with some popcorn, and I’m going to have to say no.

Which of your traits do you value most?

My directness. If I know what I want, and it isn’t what someone else wants, then I know I need to look elsewhere. I’m not going to waste time, which is better for both involved.

How can that trait benefit the University (or its student body) as a whole?

Being Russian, I’m a cultural novelty that many haven’t seen before. The fact you Americans have to wait to twenty one to drink was a major newsflash for me, so now I have to wait three more years when I already was drinking back home. The more I learn about America, the more others can learn about the motherland, beyond what some media figurehead tells us.

What do you hope to gain from your experience at JU?

The obvious answer to this is a degree, but anther answer is possible dual citizenship. I hope through this, I will be able to travel between Russia and America with more than just a student visa. I truly believe I can call America home, if given the chance.

What is a quote or song lyric that describes you?

“Do you realize I’m the man and I’m in my prime? And it’s my time, I swear to God I won’t waste no time. You ain’t worth a dime, no, you ain’t worth a dime. Still on my mind, you’re still on my mind.” – ‘Let Me Know (I Wonder Why Freestyle)’ by Juice Wrld

[wavemaker9]

warning for talk about self-harm/attempted suicide; nothing detailed but yknow, started thinking more about how mel’s (believed) death would affect both kyle and others in los santos

it’d be unlikely that at least some others wouldn’t hear rumors that mel had died and when she’s not showing her face around town, it’s hard not to believe.There might be some people in the city who live under a strict “if i don’t directly see the body, i have no proof” mindset, but the bottom line is that people die alone in gutters all the time in the city. people disappear off the map constantly. and some move away or retire to better lives, but some people just end up dead. I think Toni’s the closest of my kids to that just because A, there’s always the risk that someone could have faked their death so it pays to lowkey be even a little prepared, and B, he saw gil do it first hand so yknow. But also Toni’s a realist and recognizes that sometimes people do just get killed, or they die from some dumb stunt, or they overdose or otherwise get themself killed. it’s not impossible, and spending all your days insisting on having that proof directly is a waste of time. And I do think other people besides Kyle and Ivan would hear about mel’s death sooner or later. Austin could hear from Kyle directly, and toni could hear it either from ivan directly or maybe down the chain from Kyle (kyle > austin > oliver > toni).

Austin probably hears from kyle just because. Well, kyle’s mood fucking drops following both mel’s death + his specifically being blamed for it. That was one of his best friends and it hits him hard. I think at first he’s just trying cope using his vices, but either by overdosing with that, having a particularly reckless stunt go bad, or just having things get rougher until he falls to more direct methods of harm, austin finds him directly following that. After fixing him up as best he can/getting him to someone who can do it better, depending on how he got hurt, austin confronting kyle about it and kyle trying to avoid the questions. Austin’s able to get out that mel died, but can’t get much more from Kyle before it leads into a shouting match. Austin unintentionally admits his frustration over all the shit kyle does like this, being ungrateful for the help austin gives him, putting himself in dumb and dangerous situations all the time, and refusing to just talk about things when they’re clearly /greatly/ bothering him, before storming off to give them both time to cool down before he tries again. Of course, it’s kyle, and austin should really know better and prolly would if he hadn’t gotten mad, because when he tries to come back to talk to him again, kyle’s outta there.

Austin ends up finding kyle again after another, seemingly more serious attempt, and having to take him to the hospital. And the pro of that is that it makes it much harder for kyle to bail, especially with austin not taking any second chances this time around. With enough pressing and kyle knowing he’s caught, him finally admitting the issue, that it’s not just that mel’s dead but he feels responsible and for a bullshit reason of them just fucking around like they normally do and it going bad. The two able to talk about it more without so much yelling this time, and austin admitting he appreciated amelia’s skill and work effort but, compared to kyle, amelia’s not worth it. Kyle arguing that, of course she is, but austin standing firm, he refuses to lose kyle over this. Kyle can drink and whatever else he does normally to cope, but he needs to move past this without sacrificing his whole life for it. Yes, his reckless behavior got someone killed, and maybe he’ll take this and learn how to not put the people he cares about in such risk- austin himself would /love/ for kyle to learn that. But Kyle needs to learn his lesson and move on, not wallow in this. Adds the classic case that austin wouldn’t expect amelia to really want kyle to die for this, no matter what happened, and kyle’d also be leaving ivan behind as well and imagine how well that would be taken. 

It’s a combined effort of points that’s enough of a pull back to get kyle off the edge for a bit, getting him to ease back closer to the range of ‘struggling but managing’. Still fucking, rough for him, mourning is never easy for anyone and particularly not for Kyle, but like. Still, it’s something. However, around that time is when Toni hears the news and isn’t happy. Amelia had a lot of promise and he was interested to see where she took that. I think he’s less angry specifically that Amelia /died/ and more that she died /like she did/. Like he would have been fine with her going down a more impressive death, hell he’d have been chill killing her himself in a fight. But like. However he hears it from, he probably also hears even vaguely that it was something that went wrong connected to Kyle and Ivan, and just. The promise she had, she didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve to die because /those fucking two hazards/ dropped a ball. Like A, this reignites the anger for Ivan that had been starting to cool over the years since Gil was first injured. Because fucking Ivan can’t learn how to mind himself and what damage he causes for 2 fucking seconds? 

And /Kyle/. Like Ivan’s a goddamn danger in the worst of ways, clearly, but at least he does something for the city, too. At least he’s made a name for himself and counters the bad shit he does with impressive shit and at least he puts in a fucking effort. It pisses Toni off that he can’t learn to play by the rules a little more, but that’s nothing compared to Toni’s opinion on the fucking useless menace that is Kyle Brown. The most Kyle’s been doing since Toni learned about him is minor jobs, fucking around and pissing away his time and energy on shit that don’t really mean nothing in the long run. Kyle does what he wants and shows no tact or respect and pull stunts & causes chaos without thinking through his actions and how they affect others. And Toni /told/ Amelia when he found out about her tie to Kyle that knowing him was a mistake, that she’d be wasting her time or needlessly putting herself in danger by staying too connected to him, and it seems like that turned out to be more than true. Toni plans to have a fucking talking with Ivan as well, but he sets something up with Kyle first to basically call him out on his shitty behavior and what a waste of space Toni thinks he is. That Mel /was/ worth more than Kyle,/easily so/, that she had the drive and motivation that Kyle lacks, so why is /he/ still alive when Amelia is /dead/? He calls out a lot of small but foolish mistakes Kyle’s made since moving to the city, things Toni’s taken note of as jobs/tasks/etc that Kyle only apparently managed to survive because of luck or help instead of relying on his own strength like Amelia did, like all people who are worth something in this city do. His final note is that, the way Toni sees it, Kyle does nothing but make mistakes, to the point of getting respectable people killed over them, while the only mistake Mel made was being associated with a useless fuck up like him.

And Kyle usually doesn’t care about Toni’s opinion in the slightest, but it is a laser-guided hit to an already shaky house of cards that is his recovery path, and he spirals back down /hard/ following it because yeah. A part of him wants to believe Austin over Toni, obviously, but also like. What was he thinking believing Austin saying that he was worthwhile or that he doesn’t deserve to die. What a fucking idiot he is. His whole mood crashes hard all over again. Luckily, following the previous shit, even with kyle’s slow improvement, Austin would be keeping a close eye on him. Insisting on one of them staying at the other’s place, trying to remove/hide any dangerous items like knives, insisting on driving Kyle places. He probably does a milder form of this during lesser depressive episodes of Kyle’s*, but clearly this is bad and following the previous attempt, takes no chances. So him catching onto Kyle’s change in mood before he has the chance to do anything drastic, pressing on what brought it about and doing his best to counter it. And he himself is /very/ mad when he hears it’s Toni who caused it because ughhhh this fucking guy. The worst guy. Austin’s had maybe one good interaction with Toni, /barely/ if ever, his whole life. Hate that guy.

Austin considers just focusing on Kyle, but like. Austin’s already sick of the shit Toni pulls on himself, but undoing what progress he managed with Kyle is bullshit. Like was shown with Austin suddenly standing up to Ivan over his parents, he has very few people he actually cares about but he cares about them a /lot/, so him requesting Oliver set up a meeting between Toni and himself, he has some things he needs to discuss with Toni. It’s a reluctant action, he really doesn’t wanna deal with Toni ever, but god Toni needs to know that fucking with Kyle isn’t okay and hopefully get him to help correct what he said to Kyle or at least back off, and if Austin has to be the only one to make that happen, then /fine/. He didn’t make it as far as he did by backing down immediately when things got too tough, after all, and toni’s main complaint about him anyway is not having enough backbone, so maybe this’ll get toni to chill on that, too. /Does/ request it in the Jawbreaker’s office though to dissuade Toni from trying anything bad if the convo does get heated. Austin’s not stupid, cmon.

And Toni shows, already very amused on what Austin thinks he has to say to him. Austin basically arguing he had already addressed kyle about what happened in a way to hopefully teach him to be more careful, without making him full on spiral, and toni’s messed that up now by once again thinking he knows best all the time when he doesn’t. Toni dismissive of any criticism though, it’s not his fault if kyle can’t handle the consequences of his actions. He shouldn’t make the mistakes if he’s not prepared to struggle with the guilt over them. This can be good for Kyle if he learns to take that pain and make something of it, and if he doesn’t, well then nothing of value /really/ lost. Austin clearly angry at that, but holding himself back. Insisting he’s upset about mel to a point too, but getting kyle to kill himself over an accident when austin had already been working on getting kyle to be more careful won’t do any good for anybody. If anything, it might do worse for the city, given all of kyle’s little connections to different crews. he’d expect someone like toni to recognize that. Toni pressing back, he doesn’t want to dismiss Kyle’s talents, but kyle ain’t /really/ important in this city. He’s talented and lucky, but anyone who works with him could replace him in a day if they needed to, and probably be better off for it. kyle is reckless, dangerously so, clearly. He doesn’t think through his actions, doesn’t care about making enemies, doesn’t care about protecting himself or those around him. Him getting someone killed by his refusal to take charge in his life was only a matter of time, it’s just a shame it had to be this person. The way toni sees it, kyle’s death might help the city, actually. It certainly couldn’t /hurt/ los santos any.

Austin’s eyes thinning at him at this, at toni so blatantly stating his opinion on kyle’s /life/, before he questions if a death to help the city stabilize wasn’t supposedly the same reasoning the Grazhdane had when they put Beilschmidt in a-? Toni’s eyes snapping onto Austin with a fucking fury the moment toni recognizes where he’s going with this, standing immediately and storming across the room to grab austin by the throat before he can continue, pinning him up against a nearby wall, telling him to finish that sentence, /please/. Give him a reason to let oliver find a better Second for his crew, he is /begging/ austin to. Austin able to make a move on toni to get him to have to pull back for a moment, but toni’s able to just full on out-strength him on austin’s next attempt to pull free more. Chuckling, though in a way that is more bitter amusement than anything else, Toni asks where austin learned that. Austin, still trying to get free, answers kyle taught him it, proof that kyle’s worth more than toni thinks after all. Toni laughing further, countering that teaching austin a move or two to keep him alive a second longer is not putting anything good into the city because austin barely puts anything worthwhile into the city either. Austin questioning back what good /toni/ puts into the city, then? what do any of them put there? They’re criminals, that’s the point. But of all of them, he figures Kyle is one of the ones who puts more /actual good/ in the world, certainly more than /toni/ does. 

Toni pinning austin further, showing a sliver of that anger before catching himself and letting austin go, crossing back across the room, telling him to relax, they both know he wouldn’t do shit here; he assumes that’s why austin requested the meeting here, too cowardly to talk shit outside of his own home. Austin still rubbing at his arm, trying to steady himself, but acknowledging that was his idea, yes. Toni doing the little roll of ones eyes when they’re disappointed but not surprised. Him brushing himself off slightly, 95% for show to signify him feeling they’re done here, before stating flatly and firmly to austin that he doesn’t regret the things he said and he’s /not/ going to take them back, to kyle’s face or not, because they’re /true/. Austin may only be comfortable criticizing his cousin when his life isn’t on the line, but the fact of the matter is that both of them are embarrassments to the city, and he won’t feel bad about calling out that fact, because someone needs to. Austin clearly still frustrated, but knowing he’s not going to get anywhere further. Toni’s stubborn when he wants to be, he’s heard that from oliver and seen it in the handful of times they’ve interacted. Especially after Austin let his temper slip and insulted Gilbert in such a way, he’s not going to make any progress with Toni tonight. So him waving Toni off, the meeting’s over, just stay away from Kyle in the future. Toni laughing, waving off austin didn’t have to bother trying to order him to do that. Clearly kyle’s dangerous to be around, Toni’ll be staying as far clear as he can from that boy. As he starts to leave, him reaching out to grab Austin’s shoulder, though, telling him he might want to consider the same. Kyle’s a drowning dog no matter what mood he’s in, and he’ll drag down anyone who reaches out to help him; it’s all that people like him know how to do. He gives a slight pat to Austin’s shoulder which Austin very roughly pulls free from, with Toni leaving after that.

I will say a pro to Kyle’s teetering emotional state is that probably when Ivan realizes how bad Kyle’s doing, that’s something to focus on besides his own anger over Mel’s loss. Though god, Toni trying to call a meeting with Ivan over this shit, especially if ivan figured out about toni’s meeting with kyle. imagine /that/. About 5 times more fighting and no hate sex at the end, it’d probably be bad. Probably Kyle’s being guided back to managing and is even starting to get back to in sights of normal when Mel finds him, and that is a whole new emotional whiplash because he is at once wholly and deeply relieved when he sees her and believes that she’s alive, and also fucking /furious/. I love him trying to take a swing at her because his immediate reaction to anger is to fight the source of said anger because that’ll fix it, obviously, but his resolve is crumbling by the second and he has zero heart into trying on that actual strike, so even if she’s still recovering some, her easily stepping out of the way and him barely managing to stay standing, before immediately turning around and moving at her again, though this time both arms up and just dragging her into a clinging, sobbing hug.

The most infuriating thing about kyle is his just. For being so sympathetic and even to a point generally empathetic, he’s so unaware of trying to be empathetic in a way that’s not natural to him that most shit he doesn’t immediately consider/agree with flies right over his head. Like he would need it pointed out very plainly that maybe he shouldn’t be super angry at mel’s mom because like. Compared to how upset he was, imagine how upset she would have been if mel actually died and remember how upset she was just as the risk of her dying. Doesn’t that make sense she’d try to protect her daughter, even if it was done like this. Hell, I feel like Kyle’s even angry after the initial moment at mel because she should have known they didn’t know she was alive or they would have been there. Kyle’d have been at her side if he knew he could be and she should have known that so why did it take so long for her to realize and come find him. >( Once Kyle grasped things, though, that’d probably be better then because he could help talk Ivan down from being mad at bea when he finds out mel’s alive. Mel desperately trying to get these boys to understand the concept of her mom being worried about her and the constant dangerous shenanigans they pull.

Also fucking /god/, Mel finding out from kyle or austin that toni called kyle out over her death in the way he did and her going to speak to him to be like hey? Fuck you??? Kyle’s a menace but he’s my menace, compared to you who’s neither my boss nor my friend, so what gives you the fucking right to judge him like you did at all, fuck you. Which honestly is less of an insult to toni but more disappoints him because for her to go back and defend Kyle even after that scare shows a perceived weakness in her judgement he feels he must have missed before. Just ‘oh good to see you didn’t die after all, but also I expected better from you??’ Toni can you /chill/????

[valentinesparda]

rdr2insert infodump post because im in cowboy hell:

born and raised somewhere in new austin because it’s a reference to texas yeehaw 

but if you try to ask me WHERE i don’t know

the oldest sibling so learned to do all the things like hunt, sew, read, draw, ride into town, etc

probably from a line of showmen but i know for a fact that them, their dad, and one of their brothers were all a part of an act and mainly performed for a quick buck wherever they could so they can play the guitar and they can sing

they read but it’s mostly storybooks and they can, have, and will read until they pass out with the book on their face

carry around their grandfather’s pocket watch and collect....so many more along with just....shiny things in general.... they wear so many rings that it’s actually annoying tbh

they only recently decided to leave their home to travel just because they got so bored staying in one place for so long

i mean like....very recently. within the previous few months before the events of rdr2

taught themselves archery but their technique is a little lacking. someone charles help them please

taught how to properly shoot guns and hunt mainly from their mom. again theyre....a decent shot to start out

taught to throw axes and knives by dad and kinda has a collection from him tbh

carries one of their moms hunting rifles, grandfathers revolver, and an axe and a knife from their dads collection

really prefers not to use guns if they have to but will not hesitate to pull out a knife on anyone for any reason

their horse is a big-ass fresian and they got it from their grandfather. i havent named it yet but hi.

they have a weird way with animals which can be a blessing or a curse because sometimes the dogs or cats in town will file after them and they worry about the animals getting hurt

really good at playing poker and will do to the whole “aw i dont know how to play can you guys teach me :)” thing before they drain all the pockets at the table

has so many little cuts and scars on their hands from playing five finger fillet which is an actual thing i also used to do in high school

meets arthur by pretending to be coughs actually is stranded on the side of the road, proceeds to try and rob him

arthur is like “kid what the fuck” and knocks them on their ass and when he has them basically at gunpoint on the ground they really just do the “*crying* please mr cowboy im alone, starving, and nowhere near home im just tryin to survive” which is mostly an act and mostly real reaction

to which arthur is like “ah shit. i cant just let you die huh” and now my insert gets to follow him back to main camp to have some stew

NO ONE IS HAPPY ABOUT HIM BRINGIN HOME A STRAY

“sure i guess you can stay here but only for a bit and only if you pull your weight” and theyre like “oh my god are you kidding yes i would love to be a cowboy” 

but everyone else is like “you can’t be a cowboy we’re literally on the run from the law and theyre like “THIS IS WHAT I WANTED”

surprisingly works really hard to keep their word

works as a distraction most of the time because of how good an actor they are like how do you do that how do you cry on cue how do you switch personas on a dime--

is also good for sneaky things if they need someone light on their feet to steal mostly small things you just gotta empty their pockets for real or else they keep things for themselves and dont put it in the community box

is mostly close to arthur to the point where they basically consider him their dad 

which means they seem to only open up when he is around and they are often found at camp drawing together

most people feel threatened by my insert because of how abrasive and snappy they are in the beginning but once they bond with everyone over time they realize just how alone they are and cant bring themselves to leave

maybe one day i’ll write a giant thing about their relationships with everyone in the gang but im still gettin a feel for everyone

anyways peace

[hypeathon]

RWBY Animators Spotlight # 5: Asha Bishi & Kim Newman

Previous Animators Spotlight Posts:

Joel Mann & Harley Dwortz

Ian Kedward & Millivette Gonzalez

Dillon Gu & Austin Hardwicke

Honorable Mentions

So far in previous Spotlight posts, quite a bit of time has been spent touching on certain animators that have been part of RWBY’s production since the first couple of volumes. And though I’ve referred to a handful of newer names in the web-series’s production, there are more who have become more involved that also deserve a mention. This post will be dedicated to two of those animators, one who joined the production in volume 3 and the other who joined in volume 4.

Asha Bishi

I said before that Volume 3′s production had arguably as big on an overhaul as volume 4. And while that’s true, let’s not dismiss what changes occurred in the latter. Whereas the third volume’s production underwent changes in terms of establishing and adjusting phases, teams, and positions, much of the changes during volume 4 were in terms of the animation process itself. Contrary to what some might think, Rooster Teeth had always used Autodesk Maya, albeit for just modeling characters at first. But volume 4 was when Maya replaced Poser Pro as the main tool for animation. As a result, various assets had to be rebuilt from scratch and new plug-ins and approaches to using the software were considered. This led to a challenge for the animation team, especially with the schedule cutting things close between RTX 2016 and the volume 4 premiere on October 22nd of the same year. But veteran animators and newcomers for volume 4 had tackled those challenges.  Asha Bishi, a newcomer during volume 4, would be among them.

Like any animator who starts small when involved in the show, Asha’s first scene in volume 4 was one of team RNJR’s various trekking scenes in chapter 2, where they talk about Shion village and Jaune’s trips with his family. This scene, as faint as it is, is where her way of animating in the show can be identified. Asha usually makes character animations feel snappy yet lively through facial expressions or body language while still maintaining who the character is, as seen in the way Jaune’s eyes embarrassingly shift around in her scene. 

Eventually, her snappy way of animating dialogue-oriented scenes would prove to compliment the fight scenes she would be assigned with. One of her first bits of action-oriented animation were Ren and Nora’s successfully-cathartic attempt at pinning down and killing off the Nuckelavee. What sticks out in her shots the most is the way Ren indifferently yanks his father’s dagger off of the Grimm’s flank as he walks towards and defiantly deals with the Nuckelavee’s sudden attempt to intimidate him. We would then start to see Asha’s skills at animating fight scenes develop further within the volume 5 character shorts, namely Weiss’s. Some have referred to Weiss’s way of fighting in her character short as more of dancing than fighting. Whether or not that’s ultimately meant as a compliment or a criticism, some of those moments are simply due to Asha applying her forte; snappy character acting. The way Weiss swiftly unleashes fire dust, lunges at the beowulves and decapitates a couple of them with twirls and a sense of grace but cockiness are all intentional.

Now I bring up the matter of how Asha does character acting in both dialogue and action scenes, but there is one character who probably brings the most in her style, and that’s Blake Belladonna. But how exactly does a character as serious and emotionally withdrawn as Blake bring the most in Asha’s animations?

The moment where Blake ditches her bow has been widely deemed as a positive note for Blake’s character within RWBY’s fandom. But believe it or not, it’s also been a great moment within the animation team, and it’s not hard to see why. With faunus characters, what could’ve been misinterpreted as certain characters having ears and tails as prop, can now be seen as genuinely-nuanced behavioral traits. Blake as a result has been able to communicate more openly with her ears and thus adds a range of emotion and secondary action animation. Believe it or not, much of how Blake and her mom, Kali’s ears move are generally reflective of how a real cat’s ears would shift depending on their mood. 

Now, none of this is to say that Asha is the only animator who does this, but you’ll definitely see a difference in some scenes in volumes 4 and 5 where Blake barely moves her ears at all and scenes where she moves them a lot. When Blake’s ears are expressed lively, there’s a good chance Asha did it. Besides Blake and Kali, this also extends to other characters, faunus or not, like Sun and his tail (these are the actual shots she did), Sienna’s ears and Weiss’s ponytail. Of course, she still animates well-emoted scenes for other characters in-between, such as Yang and Weiss’s reunion.

There are two Japanese animators Asha Bishi can be compared to when it comes to the way she animates, Hirotoshi Takaya and Akira Hamaguchi. The former has utilized a swift way to express character movement in various anime projects since the 90s. Some of the works Takaya has animated for include the Magical girl anime Mysterious Thief Saint Tail (a TV series that fell into obscurity in anime compared to other shows of the same genre), the Shonen anime Kekkaishi, and the TV anime adaptation of the Japanese role-playing game, Tales of the Abyss. The latter animator I referred to, Akira Hamaguchi, often sprinkles a bit of frame modulation in his works, meaning he will go from animating on 1s to animating in 2s or 3s or vice-versa. Between that and his character animations having a sometimes swiftly and bouncy feel, Hamaguchi’s scenes have their own sense of liveliness to them.

Here are the list of scenes confirmed/presumed to have been worked on by Asha Bishi:

Most of team RNJR walking scene - Vol 4, Ch 2

Most of opening scene with Blake on ship - Vol 4, Ch 3

Some of Blake and Sun’s dialogue on ship - Vol 4, Ch 3

Yang coming up to her room and eavesdropping on Taiyang, Oobleck and Port’s conversation - Vol 4, Ch 4

Blake seeing her parents again - Vol 4, Ch 5

Blake, Sun, and Ghira confronting with Corsec and Fennec until Ghira asks, “Know what?” - Vol 4, Ch 5

Team RNJR walking until Ruby says, “I don’t know! I lived in a small area. I’ve never been this far away from home!” - Vol 4, Ch 6

Team RNJR stopping in Oniyuri and unleashing their weapons as Ren senses Tyrian - Vol 4, Ch 6

Weiss and Jacque arguing until he smacks her - Vol 4, Ch 7

Jacque stripping Weiss of her heiress title - Vol 4, Ch 7

Blake and Ghira’s talk from when Ghira says, “And you pulled yourself out”, to the end of the scene - Vol 4, Ch 8

Team RNJR and Qrow’s conversation from when Qrow says, “Look, I had the same questions”, to him saying, “Like I said, the schools are an important part of stopping Salem.” - Vol 4, Ch 8

Yang and Taiyang taking a break from sparring from Taiyang petting Zwei to Yang sitting up from the ground - Vol 4, Ch 9

First few shots of Blake and Sun chasing Ilia - Vol 4, Ch 9

Nora falling from the tower to pummel the horse part of the Nuckelavee Grimm and Ren killing it off - Vol 4, Ch 12

Oscar meets Qrow - Vol 4, Ch 12

Weiss landing in front of Schnee emblem statue and striking a sweep of fire at the summoned Beowulves - Vol 5 Weiss Character short

Weiss maintaining focus after seeing more Beowulves summoned, then lunges and strikes down three Beowulves - Vol 5 Weiss Character Short

And here is Asha Bishi’s most recent demo reel:

Kim Newman

A couple of times before, I briefly teased mentioning about a certain animator gaining a lot of attention. And that animator I referred to was Kim Newman. Kim has developed a positive reputation within the fandom during the middle of volume 5′s run for very specific reasons, but more on that later. For now, let’s dive into when she got her start on production of the series.

As stated before, every animator who has worked on RWBY, regardless of how good they’ve gotten in the eyes of the fandom, had to get their start on smaller scenes somewhere and Kim Newman was no exception. During her first few weeks working at Rooster Teeth during the production of volume 3, she provided bits-and-pieces of both the Team JNPR vs Team BRNZ fight and the Team SSSN vs Team NDGO fight, with her very first animations being Nora showing off her semblance for the first time, Sage and Dew clashing, Gwen’s knives dropping on Scarlet and Sun’s drop-kick on Octavia. Judging by these shots alone, one probably wouldn’t easily tell this was Kim, given how back then most animators who had been working on the show up to that point were getting their sea legs with constructing full-fledged fights. but small signs of her approach to animating scenes can be seen, such as how the camera distorts a bit when Gwen’s knives fall toward Scarlet.

By the latter-half of volume 3, another side of Kim Newman’s animations would be seen through facial expressions. The first noteworthy example is Team RWBY in their dorm room in chapter 8, where not only do we see how she’s just as capable at character acting, but that she manages to sell Yang’s expressions through the first actual tears in the show. Not just comedic tears done in compositing or characters wiping their eyes with their hands to fake the gesture, but rather real tears. And this would be far from the last scene of that sort she’s done. Two other scenes she’s done that were even more emotional involved Ruby... witnessing both Penny and Pyrrha’s deaths. Yeah, these kinds of things she’s insisted on volunteering for, going as far as adding tears for Ruby’s reaction in the former scene when they weren’t even in the storyboards or animatic. Though what’s really worth noting is how she captures the expressions and gestures in both scenes at making Ruby feel helpless while making other characters like Pyrrha feel briefly content in her final moments before being struck. Also, fun fact: Kim had a replica of Pyrrha’s crown on her desk when animating the scene... okay, well, maybe not necessarily a fun fact. But this is all to point out how dedicated she was to mo-capping and animating her favorite character

The scenes Kim Newman animated throughout volume 3 would prove to be an signs of things to come in volumes 4 & 5 as her skills would not only improve, but she will also develop traits in her style that can be best described in one word: ‘intense’. From here on, the way she animated how fast and hard characters attacked and weapons and fists were swung would be more refined. She would also more often angle and/or distort the camera in a manner that winds up adding a sense of dynamism that would be seen among certain animators in anime. I said in part 3 of the this Spotlight series how Dillon Gu used the camera to apply a sense of speed for the character. For comparison-sake, if Dillon used the camera to help show how fast the character was going, then Kim used the camera to apply the sense of distance, to display how far one character was from the other they faced depending on the setting. This is made most evident in shots like Blake being flung to the sky  above the Water Dragon Grimm, Ruby dodging the reach of the Nuckelavee Grimm, Yang standing ground against the Ursa, and Weiss summoning her knight against the lancer.

Kim still just as much strengthened the use of the camera in her scenes as she has character acting, where strong emotions are applied both during and outside of fight scenes. Though not as gut-wrenching as the stuff she’s done in volume 3, she still couldn’t help but find herself still working on scenes where characters are emotionally crying such as with Ruby and Yang’s reunion and Yang and Raven’s verbal confrontation, the latter of which she mo-capped and animated alongside another animator, Melanie Stern. And in the case of fight scenes themselves, she makes sure to communicate to the viewer moments where a character is feeling shocked, alarmed, angry, focused or in Tyrian’s case, playful. One of the best examples of this is in chapter 10 of volume 5. When fans think of that chapter and Kim Newman in terms of fights, they think specifically of the fact Sun is using his “gun-chucks” mode for the first time in a while. And while that moment was great to watch in it’s own right, it’s her part in Blake and Ilia’s fight that arguably better captures use of intensity described earlier. Not only does it fit the setting of the inside of Blake’s being set on fire as a visual metaphor for the heat of battle, but it even effectively compliments the fueled, angered voice acting done by Cherami Leigh as Ilia, a character that served as the biggest departure of all the roles she’s voiced in anime and video games.

I mentioned earlier that Kim gained a reputation within the fandom for certain reasons during volume 5 and when I say that, I’m referring to her position. Since volume 3, Joel Mann and Dustin Matthews have most consistently been credited as the lead of the animation team. By chapter 10 of volume 5, Kim Newman was officially promoted to Assistant Lead Animator. Though she wasn’t the first to be credited for this position (that honor goes to Paula Decanini during volume 4 who is now the director of RWBY Chibi season 3), it’s this role where Kim managed to help lead the team of animators who were brought on board during volume 5. Animators like Erika Soosaar, Jason Dickol and John Yang (or “NWBY” as she aptly put it) have in response expressed enjoying their experience working with her.

So with all of this mentioning about her skills and position in the web-series, what Japanese animators could her style even be compared to. Some may by default compare her to Yutaka Nakamura or Norio Matsumoto since they have done some of the most popular fight scenes in very widely-known anime. But the comparison can be considered unfair as both animators have had 30 years of animation industry experience under their belts whereas Kim has only had a few. Plus the comparisons can be seen as too obvious and broad. One could argue that since she’s gone on record that her passion for animation was inspired by the Shonen boxing anime, Hajime no Ippo, then she could be compared to say, animator Yoshiyuki Ito, who did certain scenes in the series and has done character designs for various Studio Bones titles like the 2003 Fullmetal Alchemist series, Soul Eater, Star Driver, Space Dandy, Concrete Revolutio, and the spring 2018 anime, Dragon Pilot: Hisone & Masotan.

Though a more appropriate choice, the two animators that Kim Newman can be best compared to in my eyes are that of Aito Ohashi and Takahiro Shikama. With the former, Ohashi has been fairly new to the anime industry, having made a presence in the more recent Pokemon XY and Sun & Moon series and Gundam Build Fighters with angled cameras and swift animation to give a feel of how fast and how far characters are moving about in a given setting. So that’s the comparison to Ohashi. But what about Shikama? Having animated scenes for anime like Kurokami, Star Driver, Sacred Seven, & most recently, Darling in the Franxx, Shikama has a way of timing punches and kicks to either be thrown or hit hard and fast. Every hit and sword strike capture great force, combined with fierce facial expressions.  

Here are the list of scenes confirmed/presumed to have been worked on by Kim Newman:

Nora unveiling her semblance for the first time - Vol 3, Ch 2

Octavia of Team NDGO surfing and sliding across the sand - Vol 3, Ch 2

Sun drop-kicking Octavia (all of the models weren’t fleshed out yet. They just used blank, grey models or ‘proxy models’) - Vol 3, Ch 2

Gale of team NDGO dropping her knives around Scarlet - Vol 3, Ch 2

Animating part of Weiss in her and Yang’s fight against Flynt and Neon - Vol 3, Ch 5

The part where Yang launches toward and charges at Flynt’s attack (presumed) - Vol 3, Ch 5

Team RWBY in their dorm room after Yang’s match - Vol 3, Ch 8

Ruby trying to escape from Mercury - Vol 3, Ch 9

Kim Newman improvised from what the storyboards/animatic (asst. Editor, Stan Lewis’s animatics)

Ruby’s tears after seeing Penny was not originally in the storyboards

Qrow, Glynda & Cardin attacking the Atlessian Knights and Grimm - Vol 3, Ch 11

Cinder killing Pyrrha and Ruby unleashing her silver eyes - Vol 3, Ch 12

Jaune training in the forest - Vol 4, Ch 2

Blake climbing up Sun’s clones and then diving to clip the Water Dragon Grimm’s wing - Vol 4, Ch 3

Qrow vs Tyrian until Tyrian takes his weapon from him - Vol 4, Ch 7

Ren recovering from letting go of the Nuckelavee Grimm’s grip and wildly charging at it - Vol 4, Ch 12

Ruby, Jaune and Ren working together to pin down the Nuckelavee Grimm’s arms - Vol 4, Ch 12

Yang fighting the Ursa Grimm from when she charged and stopped its arm attack to before it knocks her across the forest - Vol 5 Yang character short

Weiss shooting at the Lancer Grimm - Vol 5, Ch 2

Weiss summoning the knight and having it run off the ship - Vol 5, Ch 2

Kim did most of the mo-cap for Weiss using dance moves in K-Pop as a reference

Yang, Weiss, and Ruby’s reunion - Vol 5, Ch 6

Blake and Ilia exchanging blows after the former sets the house on fire - Vol 5, Ch 10

Sun attacking Ilia - Vol 5, Ch 10

Yang and Raven’s argument - Vol 5, Ch 14

And here is Kim Newman’s most recent demo reel:

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: February 2021

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of February 2021 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Let it not be said that Republican senators know what is best for their country.  And what is best for their country?  Putting their party ahead of the country, because it’s far more important to show the country that Republicans stick with one of their own even when “one of their own” isn’t one of their own but stood on a Republican ticket, even though they just so happened to incite a riot at the Capitol having lost on said Republican ticket

The High Court ruled that Matt Hancock acted unlawfully when doling out contract after contract to his mates no matter how unqualified they are, and not only did he not resign, but we had the BBC burying the story with as little a mention as they could get away with when it broke while Keir Starmer said he did not believe the public wanted to see Hancock resign.  Gee, I wonder why the UK is so fucked up?

...and then Matt Hancock went one further by saying that the British public should be thanking him, because apparently we should be grateful for 130,000 dead, his mates making off like bandits on lucrative contracts, multiple spikes in death rates due to gross incompetence by him and his bosses, and him gaslighting the public by saying there was never a PPE shortage while telling the public they should be thanking the greedy, useless, sociopathic cunt

It appears that Dido Harding is the only person on earth who is unaware that viruses mutate.  That sound you just heard was the collective screaming of every biologist, virologist and epidemiologist on earth screaming in unison at the combination of her making such a profoundly moronic statement as if it was an adequate defence, and the fact she was not only given £10bn to be in charge of Serco’s test & trace but is spending £1000 a day on consultants fees in spite having less knowledge of how viruses work than a peanut

Remember how Keir Starmer said he’d unite the Labour party?  I have to ask, as it appears that Starmer has forgotten about that considering all three candidates for the Liverpool mayoral election were dropped from the ballot without any reasoning given short of some vague and meaningless wording of a vague and meaningless statement, something which Starmer has been issuing a lot of lately

Smirking bully Priti Patel seems to have finally cottoned onto the fact her role is to allow boneheads to point to the one non-white person who agrees with them and claim that means everyone agrees with their boneheaded views, which she demonstrated by making some patently absurd comments about the Blame Lives Matter movement while moaning about footballers taking the knee before every match - which no doubt had at least sixteen people named Gary tweeting in support of her within the hour

The fact that several LAPD officers decided that the discussion about both police brutality and endemic racism in policing wouldn’t get in the way of their being a bunch of edgelords and send valentine’s cards mocking the murder of George Floyd in the most twattish way imaginable sums up exactly why the “orL lYfeS mAttUH” knobheads are so far wide of the mark that they don’t even know what the fucking mark is

So the defence which Anne Sacoolas gave in the inquest into the death of Harry Dunn was that she worked for US intelligence, which somehow justifies driving over the speed limit on the wrong side of the road, before legging it out of the country at the earliest opportunity - with the full support of the UK government to make sure she got out of the country

Similarly, apparently it did not occur to Gina Carano that tweeting out all manner of batshittery, culminating with her saying that being a Republican in 2021 America is like being a Jew in Nazi Germany, is the sort of thing that has repercussions for your career.  Such as getting fired from your high profile acting gig while also having your agency drop you like an ice cold turd

Something which escaped the Tory government during their joyous pronouncement that the R number for Covid has dropped below 1 for the first time since July 2020: in doing so, they not only revealed that they pushed ahead with numerous plans, such as getting children back into school, removing employment protections for people who didn’t feel safe trudging into the office, and bribing people into restaurants with a £10 voucher when they were fully aware that the R number was above 1 - which, of course, was also missed by the supposed journalists at the BBC when joyously pronouncing the R number was below 1 for the first time since July 2020

It’s reasonably clear that Ted Cruz isn’t a champion of self-awareness, what with his response to Texas being hit with heavy snowfall and widespread power outages at the exact same time by legging it to Cancun (during a pandemic...) without realising how that made him look and sound remarkably like Mayor Quimby from The Simpsons - and he abandoned his poodle at home to do so

...and sticking with Texas, the image of Fred Meyer posting armed guards outside of their stores to prevent people from taking the produce that the store had dumped outside was one for the Capitalism family photo album

...just as Texas’ power outages led to Tucker Carson trying to blame wind turbines for the outages in spite of the fact wind turbines provide less than 15% of Texas’ power, meaning that Carlson found an entirely new way to blame minorities for problems

While it was incredible to see the ERG doing something that could be classified as research for the first time since their formation in 1992, their “research” involved them demanding that Westminster scrap Article 16 of the Northern Ireland Protocol - the same Article 16 of the Northern Ireland Protocol which every single member of the ERG voted for last year

Professional victim Rachel Riley came under such a vile and sustained attack when she gleefully claimed that Aaron Bastani has finally been booted out of Labour - a claim that would have a crumb of credibility if it wasn't for the fact that Bastani willingly cancelled his Labour membership a year or so ago 

How nice of Oliver Dowden to put forward the idea of all British universities installing a Free Speech Champion, whose role is to shout down criticism of Britain’s less than savoury past because statues of slave traders need to stay up because statues have more rights than people these days

It was remarkable how Andrew Neil managed to spell out exactly how the media have aided and abetted the right‘s bastardisation of the word “woke” into an insult of its original meaning - and somehow failed to notice that is exactly what he was doing as he was tweeting it

The journalistic integrity of Sarah Smith took an absolute battering when she claimed in a report on the story of Nicola Sturgeon and ministerial code - a story which the BBC are giving so much more coverage to compared to the seconds they gave to Matt Hancock being found to have acted unlawfully, by the way -  when she stated that Alec Salmond asked for Sturgeon’s resignation.  Except that simply is not true, as Salmond never asked for that, which makes it look uncannily like the BBC have the knives out for Sturgeon because Scottish lady made BoJo look bad

Man of the British people Richard Littlejohn chimed in from his gated community in Florida claiming that a statue of Captain Tom Moore that currently does not exist would soon be pulled down by BLM protesters that he has made up, which definitely doesn’t read like sixteen different kinds of bollocks to preach to the pig ignorant converted among the Daily Mail’s readership who lack the common sense to ask questions such as “Hang on, are you comparing Captain Tom to a slave trader?”

There was little surprise that The Sun responded to Harry & Megan announcing their pregnancy by trying to say that they’re hiPpPKritZ for wanting privacy yet telling the world that they’re expecting a child, almost as if they cannot understand that the couple being bullied out of the country by both press intrusion and a particularly nasty whispering campaign led by The Sun among others is what they meant when they said they wanted privacy - which seems to be the case given how many articles thundering the same line were vomited forth in the days immediately afterwards

Convicted criminal Darren Grimes didn’t seem to notice how sinister his statement (if a passive aggressive shittweet counts as a statement, which in Grimes’ world it certainly does) about BAME voters being able to vote in “our elections” actually sounded, did he?

Amidst the accolades Andrew Butler and James Wilson have been getting for their short film Keratin, there was one dissenting voice: artist Adam Ellis, who wrote the short comic Super Chill, which Butler and Wilson plagiarised and only informed Ellis when the film was already doing the festival circuit where they asked him to promote a work that ripped off his book in spite neither asking permission nor informing him beforehand, nor did they give Ellis a single credit

There was absolutely nothing normal about how Eddie Marsan lead a particularly vicious pile-on which Ian Austin and Steven Pollard were among those who joined in, all because somebody said that It’s A Sin was let down by Tracy Ann Oberman being in the cast, which naturally must mean this one person is an antisemite who must have dozens of people dogpile onto them in a short space of time while also revealing just how insane Gnasher’s pack have gotten if they now consider a person being a Liverpool fan as one of their red flags for rampant antisemitism

Apparently nobody had the conversation with TJ Ducklo that consists of saying that threatening to “destroy” journalists is not a good look, judging by TJ Ducklo threatening to destroy Politico reporter Tara Palmeri

Waffling gargoyle Nigel Farage demanded that the EU Human Rights Act be scrapped.  Luckily for Nige, there is no longer an EU Human Rights Act so he can claim “victory” - although the fact there wasn’t an EU Human Rights Act during the video he posted demanding it be scrapped, or at any point in history before he posted the video demanding it be scrapped, he’s either lacking in any form of knowledge about the EU whatsoever or is banking on clueless boneheads who have no knowledge of the EU so believe that Acts which don’t exist should be scrapped because waffling gargoyle Nigel Farage said so

Has it occurred to Piers Corbyn that doing things such as comparing lockdown to Auschwitz, and distributing leaflets saying exactly that, is monumentally knobheaded?  Hang on, let me check...no, he hasn’t realised that doing so is monumentally knobheaded, what with him doing precisely that

Something possessed Lauren Boebert to sit in on a Zoom meeting with three assault rifles and a GLOCK precariously balanced on the shelves behind her, somehow failing to notice that not only did it look completely deranged - especially if a spot of light dusting could lead to her unintentionally shooting the neighbours on both sides of her house - but the assault rifle on the bookshelf aesthetic has already been done by Osama bin-Laden

The oppressed underclass that are Manchester United fans once again responded to their team dropping points by racially abusing one of their own players on social media, with Axel Tuanzebe once again bearing the brunt of it after their 3-3 draw with Everton

Good to see that Gab are on the grift again with their free speech device, a device which guaranteed free speech by blocking cable channels that people who still use Gab (or rushed back there after Parler got iced) don’t agree with, because nothing says “free speech” like blocking differing viewpoints

There comes a point where you hope Julia Halfwit Hartley Brewer puts her foot down and tells her paymasters she’s had enough of making moronic statements posed as a question for people dumb enough to agree with the moronic statement, but clearly it wasn’t when she was told that her response to the Perseverance rover landing on Mars should be asking why we can send a probe to Mars yet not visit our neighbours, which is moronic even by the usual bilge she's told to throw out into the world by her paymasters

Hearing PS5 scalpers whine and complain that they are disrespected, and using some patently absurd arguments to defend themselves such as saying they’re simply supermarkets - as if they haven’t emptied said supermarkets of their stocks of PS5s before they even made it to shelves - really sums up how human garbage may have gained sentience, but it hasn’t gained self-awareness

Did it really not occur to DJ Tiiny that his telling record producers that their artists would get on his radio show as long as they bunged him £200 might come out at some point?  Because guess what?  It came out that DJ Tiiny was telling record producers that he could guarantee airtime for their artists if they bunged him £200

Occasional wrestler Austin Aries reminded us why the “occasional” part is relevant, as he decided to do a signing without masks where he signed tinfoil hats for the Covid Truthers who came to reward him for finding a career where he doesn’t have a track record of burning bridges with the entire industry 

And finally, screaming and screaming until he is sick, is Donald Trump throwing a tantrum and quitting the Screen Actors Guild approximately ten minutes before he was expelled for that whole encouraging-white-terrorism-to-storm-the-Capitol thing back in January

[kostovas]

my diary post about my feelings before going to college

august 22, 2017, 10:06 pm, my room in El Paso

The way that I tend to deal with my problems/worries is that I don’t think about them and ignore them and keep ignoring them until they get so big that I’m forced to think about and deal with them.

That is basically what I have been doing this entire summer. I don’t even remember the last time I wrote in my diary and I’ve decided to start typing it out instead since I’m afraid I won’t have the motivation to literally write out my diary in COLLEGE, aka, the problem/worry, which branches out into a bunch of other little problems/worries (I’m going to be living 10 hours away from home, what if I mess up while doing the laundry, what if the work is too hard, my parents are going to be sad,) that I have been pushing away

Although to be honest about 90% of the summer consisted of me in my room writing fan fiction or watching Netflix or scrolling through twitter, I still really didn’t think much about it…

Orientation? Did I even write about it? It was fine, it was good, I instantly clicked with my roommate sara, yes, same name as me, and my orientation-roommate was nice but I have a weird after-taste about her because she told me she was Latina because although she is German Swedish Irish french Spanish insert a billion other super white ethnicities here, her mom is from New Mexico!

Orientation just felt like a more cramped, panicked version of NSLC camp which I went to last year. NSLC was like, a random pocket-universe where I met new people who I spontaneously had a lot in common with and thought about my future in entertainment business with just for fun. Orientation is where I met new people who I very un-spontaneously had at least one thing in common with, starting ut, and thought about my future for real.

I feel like I’ve got some things down, aka my class schedule and what music I could potentially listen to while walking around campus (my Austin playlist is a lot of vampire weekend and sza and I know that sounds like a weird combo but it feels insanely fitting) but for the most part I still very much have ABSOLUTELY ZERO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!

I…. AM PANICKING BIG TIME RIGHT NOW… I CRIED LIKE A MINUTE BEFORE I STARTED WRITING THIS… WHICH I HAVE NOT DONE (at least not over anything that wasn’t a book or a tv show or a movie) THIS ENTIRE SUMMER!!!

This summer, although filled with a lot of nothing and empty spaces, felt so perfect and so teenage-me. Maybe not truly me, truly what I would have done in my perfect world, but just… what I would do as a teenager. I know I’m still technically going to be a teenager for at least awhile in college, but, not like this. Not the El Paso bred high school boredom tennis court by Lorde Gilmore girls crying teenager. I’ll be something else, whatever it is, and I have no idea what. I am afraid to meet her. I am excited I am scared I am going to vomit all over this new computer I bought for college

I went to a lot of movies this summer, mostly with nicole and mostly at the Alamo draft house and mostly before they came out (baby driver, good time, which I both liked but baby driver way more).

I got my drivers license and I passed the test by literally oNE POINT

I drove by myself to nicoles apartment and we had weird conversations about our psychic feelings and premonitions about our own lives and deaths. That was the first time I drove by myself and it was for about five minutes and I sung out loud to dua lipa the entire time because I feel like falling asleep any time I go in a moving vehicle and theres no music and my dad drove me back later because it was raining.

I also drove to pick up alondra the Friday before she left for college. Her first day of school was today and she left like a week early. She’s in South Carolina at college of Charleston and I’m even scared for her. We got chick fil a and went home and talked about da Vinci and being Latina outside of El Paso and random memories and feelings and nothing and everything and nothing again

I hung out with my grandpa a lot, who has been staying here all summer. Yesterday he showed me a picture of my great grandpa who I had never seen before and I was so shocked, he looked like a real Mexican movie star cowboy, I have no idea what John Wayne looks like but he should look like my great grandpa, panfilo vela. Yesterday in particular my grandpa worried about pregnant women because the solar eclipse was happening and they were not wearing safety pins, a latino superstition he said so firmly as a scientific fact that I was really confused and briefly wondering if there was some sort of pregnant women’s medical pin. My dad said ‘that’s part of his charm’’ believing things so intensely, I guess. I think I got some of that from him

I went to San Antonio last week with tia 1 and valerie and Abuelita and my family. Tia 2 is usually the one to go on vacations with us, but she has this new best friend who she is in a two-person cult with, with her BFF/Bestie/Twinsie (yes, she is a 40+ year old woman, who calls her that) being the leader and her being the devout follower, paying for all her tickets to schiltterbaun and the movies and everything she buys while shopping and all her food and yelling at her employees for getting mad at her for something to do with a water bottle I don’t know but it’s definitely throwing off the balance of the universe.

But it was fun, tia 1 is very loud and charismatic and doesnt give any fucks and now I like to say “no mas mis chicharrones truenan aqui” also I am mad I am not more tan

I learned how to make crepes I have made at least 7 successful ones

Okay. so. crying. Here’s a text I sent to the vampire weekend group chat earlier:

(redacted) I really feel like my dad raised me mostly and he just took me out to the fanciest dinner of my life as a “father-daughter dinner” before college and he ran into some friends who were older than him and they were like “ur gonna miss her it’s gonna suck!” And I think my dad almost cried and we talked about heaven in the car and now I’m home and there’s boxes in my room and I’m staring at them and crying

end text

My dad put together those boxes for me with longhorn tape. Burnt orange duct tape with white longhorn shapes on them, literally That’s where my arts and crafts related headassery comes from

I’m going to be staying in a dorm at UT with my own restroom and now I’m thinking do I even really know how to clean a shower NOT REALLY

I’m gonna end up googling it while I’m there

I feel like I don’t actually know how to iron like I’m doing it wrong for sure

The restaurant was called cafe central it’s in downtown El Paso which I think is really truly beautiful even though objectively it’s ugly I’m super emotional and so I think it’s extremely beautiful and it’s just. I feel . It’s just how I feel.

I feel so in touch with the El Paso city it doesn’t even feel real. I feel like all the abandoned buildings are just cardboard cutouts and I have the power to knock them over with my fingertips. the homeless guys there don’t even scare me that much even though they probably should, not even the old lady with the bandaids all over her hands who stole Isaac’s hot dog once

god. That dinner was so fancy and I kept thinking about all these early 2000s chick flicks where a girl eats in a fancy restaurant for one reason or another and I kept thinking about how I love my dad and I kept thinking about how why do we need four different knives and I kept thinking about how that place started in 1918 so it probably wouldn’t have allowed someone who looked like my dad in there for awhile but there I was sitting with my dark brown dad eating food with names and ingredients I have literally never heard of and the chocolate cake melted into itself and chamomile tea is a gift from god

I read a lot of matt Murdock fanfiction today.

How am I 18 years old? I don’t want to… do anything ever… I want to read fan fiction and lay face down on the floor, but not even those two things can be accomplished at the same time.

NOTE: (redacted) means I took something out in case some certain irl people read this, maybe I should’ve taken the thing about tia 2 out but, well, I am somewhat at peace with death

[shleezaemour]

Finding Solace in NA meetings

Trigger warning for drugs and abuse. Nico decided to go to an NA meeting and admits a few secrets infront of his crush Will. review at will. I own nothing!! Nico was in one of his moods. Ignoring everyone and keeping to his cabin like the hermit he was. Will hated it when Nico was like this. Sunshine didn't understand though. Will didn't know what it was like to feel like your drowning every time you force yourself into a social situation. Will didn't know what it was like hearing every noise going on at the same time to the point where you can't think! People chewing leaves rustling laughter screaming smacking of lips clinking of forks everything all at once in your ears making it impossible to focus on just staying normal. Every demigod has ADHD but none of them seemed to have issues like Nico did. All the kids were scared of him anyway it was better him holing up in his cabin doing things that needed to be done. Research of burial rights and didn't other ventures in the books his father would send him. Nico didn't know why his dad kept sending him the books but he figured it was stuff he had to learn. Maybe his dad was giving him a job in the future. That was also a far fetched thought. How could his father trust him with anything? He barely trusted himself. Nightmares of his time in Tartarus plagued his dreams keeping him awake for days at a time. The things he experienced down there were to much for one person even him. Nicks and cuts littered Nicos ravaged body. Not smooth like the rest of the campers. Some of them he did but most were from fighting. No one would understand why he would do it to himself. Just like they wouldn't understand everything else he had done. It's better that no one really knew him that personally. If they were scared of him now they would exile him from camp if they knew the things he resorted to being in his own for 4 years. You grow up a lot when your on your own. If it wasn't for his father he would be dead by now. "Nico ?" Cut from his spiraling reverie Will had found him. "Hey! What are you doing here?" "Thought I'd check on you and give you a calendar for the summer events" "I'm not the bonfire sing a long capture the flag type Sunshine though I appreciate your effort" " Oh not those I'm talking about the groups that meet through the week" "Groups what groups" " My cabin and I do different groups through the week. I do NA and Austin does a grief group for kids who have lost family and friends. Kayla does AA and Cecil does a group for PTSD" "What? I don't even know what most of those are?" " Oh well NA is for drug users AA is for alcohol and PTSD is for kids with traumas in the past. Rape and violence in their life" "Wow must be some empty rooms" Nico chuckled. "Um actually we are full up most of the time. The NA I run is done at the beach since we need so much room for everyone. " "Why do you run the NA group?" "Because I was hooked on a few things myself back in the day. My mom is a famous country singer and drugs were always around so I picked up a bad habit or two. That's why I chose to be a year rounder here. Keeps me clean of I'm not exposed I'm about 3 years clean" "Never took you the type that would even touch the stuff" "Why not? We all medicate Nico. With the lives of demigods it's almost impossible not too. Kaylas dad was a huge alcoholic. Austin lost his mom to an overdose and she died in his arms. Cecil was being attacked by his step father. We all grew up with problems and drugs and alcohol and sex are just ways we end up coping with things. " "I'll think about it" "That's all I ask" Will left him with the schedule. Nico himself could go to all of these groups. That would mean admitting to his issues. He wasn't about to do that no matter how hard Sunshine pressed. Throwing the flyer away he headed to his kitchen to make lunch when his father appeared at the kitchen table with the flyer in his hands. "Father" he bowed slightly. "Son" "What can I do for you? Run away spirit? Need me to feed Cerberus while you and Wifey go on a get away?" Nico took out two root beers out of the fridge and poured them for him and his father. Passing a glass to Hades he sat and waited for the reason he decided to visit. "So... that Apollo boy seems nice" "Yeah he's ok. The only one not cowering away from me. Shows up every day I swear I think I see him more than my own reflection." "You like him don't you?" "Dad I'm not ready to date and he's.. cute yes but he's straight" "Actually he's not I've talked to his father since you two have been spending all this time together" "You spying on me and vetting my friends?" "Yes and frankly I'm glad your making better choices" "Hmph" "Yeah well I think you need to think about attending atleast one of these groups. Perhaps the one the Apollo boy runs himself?" "Dad no I can't I don't want people knowing about that." "Your not the only one that has been through this obviously I don't see why you can atleast attempt to go." "I'm sober now. I've been sober over 7 months." "Yes and I know that you haven't been feeling the best about yourself. I don't want you to back slide. I think this could be good for you " Nico sat in silence looking at his father. The man had the same eyes as him. Nico wasn't scared of his father the way other kids were scared of his father. Or hell even their own godly parent. Hades was right though. Nico had been craving it lately. The need for a release. The need to let go. "I'll think about it" "How about you go and I'll sweeten the deal" "How?" "New set of Stygian throwing knives and I start giving you an allowance?" "Your bribing me to go to meetings?" "Yes. Go to one meeting a week and I'll give you this" A black Amex appeared in Hades hand. "Seriously? Why would you trust this? Why would you trust me to do this?" "Because deep down you want help son. I know that. I know you. That and I don't know how else to get you to go. If you don't go or stop going you will find that this card goes missing" "Ok I'll do one meeting. I want the knives though. We can talk about the card if I decide to continue" "Deal" The knives appeared on the table on a cloud of smoke. His father disappeared in the same breath. Guess he was going to see what Will stupid ass group was about. Probably a bunch of Whiney kids that smoked a few joints or got hooked on caffeine pills to stay awake and study. ------------------------------ I walked down the beach to see a low bonfire and about 30 campers sat around it. Wow so many people. There was no way all these kids had drug problems. Sitting in a chair in the back Will stood up to take everyone's attention. "Hello everyone I'm Will and I'm an addict!" "Hello Will!!" The crowd chanted together. "I'm happy to see all of your today! I see some knew people here which is great and lots of old faces! Well let's get things started I'm going to talk about cravings today. I had a craving today in the infirmary. I was giving some morphine to an Ares kid who ripped his pinky finger off during sword practice. While I was giving it to him I thought about how easy it would be for me the head healer to take some myself. To mark down that I gave him two doses instead of one. People trust me. They wouldn't even question what my paper work says. But then I thought there was a reason people trusted my paperwork. It's because I don't do that and I want people to trust me. It was hard after the battle of Manhattan. I used a lot of pain killers that my mom would just leave lying around. She never noticed they were gone. She didn't need them she just had them. I want to be a doctor one day. That starts here. That starts with me being able to be stronger than this. To be stronger than me wanting everything to float away. " Everyone clapped. Including myself. Wow sunshine liked hillbilly heroine. Who would have thought. "Ok let's have our new faces share a bit with us tonight. Ok I see you there come up and tell us about yourself." Drew Tanaka went up to the front infront of the fire. "Hi I'm drew " "Hello drew" Everyone chanted in unison. "I was hooked on cocain for a really long time. I have trouble with my weight and I thought if I just did a little here and there it wouldn't be a issue. I would lose a few pounds and it made me feel more interesting. I felt like people liked talking to me thought I was fun. Turns out that was all in my head most people just thought I was annoying when I was on it. I lost those few pounds and then some. I did it so much that I finally stopped when my nose wouldn't stop bleeding. I was so scared I was losing so much blood I almost passed out. I've been clean for about two months now but what Will said about the cravings is true. I felt it when I stepped on the scale and gained 7 pounds. I wanted so bad to go back to it. I still want to go back to it. My craving isn't over. But so far I'm ok. " She went back to her seat as everyone applauded her. "You sir in the back please come up and share!" Will shouted at Nico. I thought he would pass out. Feeling the creeping heat prickle in my ears I started to slump in my chair. A voice sounded in my mind. My fathers voice. " GO!!" I stood up and made his way toward the front. "Hi I'm Nico" "Hello Nico!" Once again in unison. This was it. Here it goes. They will all defiantly hate me after this. Might as well get it over with so I can rub it in his stupid dad's face when he was proved right. " I'm nico and I'm an addict. 7 months ago my father found me alone in an abandoned building with a needle sticking of my arm. I sold my body for drugs. I know that sounds insane. Especially at my age but my mother died. I was forced into a casino that suspended time so I'm actually in my 80s. My sister died. She was the only family I had for my entire life. The hunters stole her away and then death did. She left me twice. I had no home. No family. I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to be in my body anymore. I'm gay. I was born in a time where that meant being killed or locked away. I struggled with that a lot. I found out that it's not like that anymore. Well it's atleast much more accepted and it's no longer looked at as a mental problem. I battled with that while going down my rabbit hole. I didn't have any money so my body was all I had to give drug dealers. I was lucky. My dad found me. He brought me to his home in the underworld and gave me a room. Detoxed me. Helped me get through my addiction safely. I was checked out while down there I was lucky I didn't catch any diseases from either the needles or the other thing. I knew a few that were not quite as lucky. I still want to. It never really goes away for me. But I'm trying. I'm 7 months sober. I can't promise that it won't happen again. But I'm trying." I walked back to my seat as I heard the applause. People looked me in the eye as I walked by and reached out and touched my shoulder. Everyone seemed ok with what I just said. I heard a few more stories. Surprisingly not much different from my own. I never thought so many of us went through this! I went from feeling so alone to seeing these kids tell their stories and they had an idea of what it was like. I wasn't the only one who sold my body I wasn't the only one who felt alone. I wasn't the only one who spent years in solitude with no where to go. The rest of the meeting passed in a blur. They all ended up holding hands in a circle chanting something he hadn't learned yet so he just listened. As they dispersed people came to me clapping my shoulder and thanking me for my story. A feeling of acceptance washed over me. Maybe my dad was right. I would never admit that of course. As much as Hades was right I would rather have my father think I would be attending the meetings for access to the black Amex. Walking back to my cabin Will Solace put his arm around me as he walked. As much as I wanted to shove it off the weight felt nice and contact with Will made my stomach jump with butterflies. "So you and I are in the same boat I guess" "Yeah guess so" "Well that's kind of a relief honestly. It's hard to date someone who doesn't know what it's like" "Date?!" "Yeah I want to ask you out. You and me dinner and a movie type stuff" "I didn't know you were..." Nico slyly lied knowing full well what his dad had mentioned. "I am and it took real guts to admit all that up there. I was going back and forth on the idea of asking you out because I wasn't sure if you were but now that I know I'd love you take you out" "I-I guess that would be fine." They stopped at the Hades cabin door. "Hey Nico can I ask you a question that's super uncomfortable?" "Well we just left an entire group of uncomfortable so sure go for it!" "Did they ever kiss you?" "Who?" "You know.. the people you got your fix from" "Oh uh no that's not really the way it works. Honestly I'm kind of surprised you want to go out after hearing that." "Your past is your past and now is now. Don't let it define you. It was awful that it happened to you like that but I'm glad your in a place where that's no longer your current reality" "That was convoluted Solace." "Yeah I get that way when I'm nervous" "Why are you nervous still i agreed?" "Cause of this" Leaning forward I felt Wills lips against mine. Soft and warm. His hands cupping my face like it was made of glass. Like I was something precious to hold. I deepened the kiss even though I had no clue what I was doing. Pulling wills waist to me by his belt loops. Will smelled amazing and tasted like oranges and lavender. I had never felt this. Over and over I sold my body to strangers but none of them really wanted me. Will wanted me. The feeling of that was enough to wash away those shameful memories even if it was just for a moment. Breaking apart for air I looked into the blue orbs that were Wills eyes. Getting lost in them was easy. They were trustworthy and sincere. Despite him hearing the awful things he has done Will wanted to kiss him. To take him on a date. "Wow that.. that was " "That was my first kiss.." Nico squeeked out. "Mine as well..." "Well uh I guess I'll see you for the date?" "Oh yeah um tomorrow night 7pm" "Ok I'll have bells on" "What?" "Don't ask it's an old saying" "It's cute. Bye Neeks" and he kissed me chastely stumbling away from my cabin. I went inside and jumped on my bed and screamed into my pillow.

[junker-town]

A WrestleMania 33 preview for people who don't watch wrestling

Going to a WrestleMania 33 viewing party? Here’s what you need to know.

So, you’ve been invited to a WrestleMania 33 watch party? First off: Congratulations for having friends who care enough about you to invite you into their home and are comfortable enough to disclose their love of WWE without fear of judgement. Now, being invited into a environment full of wrestling fans can be pretty daunting, but we’re here to help.

Essentially you’re coming to watch a TV show you haven’t seen all season and turning up for the finale. That’s what WrestleMania is. Storylines that have been developing for months will end, so we want to prep you as best we can to enjoy your evening by giving you a quick rundown on how each match got here.

WWE Championship Match Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton

Bray Wyatt looks like a murderer in True Detective and now has dreadlocks. He’s a Bayou cult leader who likes to kiss people on the forehead before ending them.

Randy Orton is a mound of muscle packed in a Speedo whose personality is based entirely around the idea he is emotionless and calculating like a snake.

How it got here: Orton pretended he was part of Wyatt’s cult then burned the compound to the ground.

Universal Championship Match Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar

Goldberg is a buff dad who breathes in sparks on the way to the ring, so it looks like he vapes. His body hair looks painted on and he wears adorable little shorts.

Brock Lesnar is a sentient piece of angry beef brisket that’s sponsored by Jimmy Johns. He beat people up in the WWE, then UFC, and now back in WWE he’s a mythic figure.

How it got here: They fought at WrestleMania 13 years ago and there needed to be some nostalgia on the card. Goldberg demolished Lesnar for no obvious reason so now this is happening, and with a title involved.

The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

You probably know The Undertaker at this point. He’s big, he’s old, and people still love him. He’s only lost once at WrestleMania in history, to sandwich monster Brock Lesnar.

Roman Reigns is the physical embodiment of the word “fetch” from Mean Girls. There’s nothing functionally wrong with him, and he’s actually pretty good — but fans caught on to WWE jamming Reigns down their throat and hate him in defiance.

How it got here: WWE has wanted Reigns to be the next Undertaker for years, in terms of popularity and his place in the company. Now they’re going to try and force it come hell or high water. The set up for this match is weak and comes from Reigns eliminating Undertaker at the Royal Rumble, but the match could deliver if Undertaker doesn’t wrestle as old as he looks.

John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse

John Cena is a legend. Nikki Bella was one of the best women wrestlers before being injured. They’re a real-life couple who talk entirely too much about boning on Total Divas.

The Miz is a former reality TV star who is cocky. Maryse is his real-life wife. They don’t talk about boning even though they are also on Total Divas.

How it got here: Maryse hit Nikki Bella with a pipe and then Miz and Maryse made a series of videos making fun of WWE’s power couple. Now the couples are at war.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Shane McMahon is the son of WWE owners Vince and Linda McMahon. He likes to shuffle around and punch the air a lot then occasionally get in the ring and do something silly looking and super dangerous.

AJ Styles is one of the best dang things in WWE and he’s stuck wrestling Shane McMahon.

How it got here: There’s a whole bunch of longstanding history beef from the dissolving of WCW here and inside business stuff that is boring. It’s basically a dude wanting to beat up his boss.

RAW Women’s Championship Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

Bayley is the plucky, hard-working paragon of virtue in WWE and everyone loves her because she’s just so dang good.

Charlotte Flair is Ric Flair’s daughter and is so great at acting evil and entitled.

Sasha Banks is Bayley’s real-life BFF who’s been relegated to sidekick way too much over the last year when in reality she’s probably the best superstar in this match. Don’t throw things at me please.

Nia Jax is awesome because she’s atypical of what WWE has looked for in women superstars in the past. She’s a powerhouse who will help change the pace of this match.

How it got here: Bayley and Charlotte have been feuding all year, Sasha got involved because she likes Bayley and Nia Jax just wants to kill everyone. Yanno, wrestling stuff.

United States Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens

Chris Jericho is the aging rocker you unabashedly love even though his best years are behind him. Sure his nickname is Y2J and based around a computer disaster that never happened 17 years ago, but he’s fun.

Kevin Owens looks like someone who would work in the kitchen of a pizza restaurant. Then you see him move around and realize he’s 1,000 times more athletic than you will ever be despite being much bigger than you.

How it got here: Jericho and Owens used to be BFFs before Owens attacked his buddy. Then Jericho cost Owens the Universal Championship. Now they hate each other.

Seth Rollins vs. Triple H

Seth Rollins’ nickname is “Crossfit Jesus,” and you’ll realize why when you see him. He has a really long neck and a sweet beard and he’s awesome.

Triple H likes to climb in the ring once per year to prove he’s still got it. There will probably be some movie tie-in for his entrance, so don’t be surprised if he runs to the ring dressed like a minion or some shit. But like, a skeleton minion.

How it got here: Triple H is Rollins’ boss. Rollins used to like his boss. Now he doesn’t like his boss. Now he wants to fight his boss.

Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin

Dean Ambrose is the one guy in WWE I would be legitimately terrified of if he challenged me to a bar fight because I assume he has knives hidden everywhere. Just like a whole stack of knives pressed in a coat. That’s Dean Ambrose.

Baron Corbin is the kid from AV Club in high school cosplaying like a biker. He’s fine.

How it got here: Corbin crushed Ambrose with a forklift. Now he wants his title.

Champion Alexa Bliss to defend against all female SmackDown LIVE Superstars who are available to compete.

Alexa Bliss is an incredible young superstar who will absolutely lose the title because her boss doesn’t like her.

How it got here: Alexa Bliss’ boss doesn’t like her.

Raw Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Ladder Match Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson (c) vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Cesaro & Sheamus

Okay lots of big wrestleboys here so we’ll do it quick. The ladder got added at the last second, and they have to climb it and grab the titles to win.

Gallows and Anderson look like clones of bald accountants who dress up like daddies for Halloween.

Enzo and Cass are a walking episode of Jersey Shore and somehow make it work.

Sheamus is an angry pale Irishman who looks like a Dwarf Slayer. Cesaro is amazing and Swiss and possibly an irl video game character.

How it got here: The tag teams have no stories. They just get angry and fight each other which makes them angrier and fight more.

WrestleMania kickoff show: Airing before the main pay per view on WWE Network.

The Fourth Annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

A bunch of big men will stomp around a ring and throw each other out of it. This is what you thought wrestling was if you’ve never seen it before.

How it got here: Every year a bunch of big men stomp around a ring and try to throw each other out of it.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries

Neville is an angry British man who likes to fly though the air and do neat stuff. He had no real personality until he became evil. Austin Aries’ jackets are way too ostentatious to belong to a good guy, but we’re just rolling with it for now.

[joie-university-rp]

VITYA ALEXSI CRISTO is a NINETEEN year old FRESHMAN who lived in VLADIVOSTOK, RUS before coming to attend Joie University. HE is majoring in CREATIVE ARTS and minoring in GEMOLOGY. Some believe he looks like BILL SKARSGÅRD but VITYA just doesn’t see it. VITYA is currently a TAKEN character.

Student Census Response

What made you want to attend Joie University? It is a secure campus with a good curriculum. The housing seems nice and the students friendly enough. I am looking for a place to plan roots, to get started in life, and I want it to be here. There are loads of opportunities here and I want to find them.

What are at least 3 positive or neutral and at least 3 negative traits that you believe you possess? I’m intelligent. Beyond the classroom. I am good at reading people, what they want or need from me, which helps me understand my task. I know what I want, so I am very direct and leave little room for misinterpretation. I also have a morbid curiosity that can get me into trouble. All of these combined makes me somewhat abrasive, but that is their loss. And I am not very personable. I’ll do what needs to be done of me, but ask if I want to watch a rom-com with some popcorn, and I��m going to have to say no.

Which of your traits do you value most? My directness. If I know what I want, and it isn’t what someone else wants, then I know I need to look elsewhere. I’m not going to waste time, which is better for both involved.

How can that trait benefit the University (or its student body) as a whole? Being Russian, I’m a cultural novelty that many haven’t seen before. The fact you Americans have to wait to twenty one to drink was a major newsflash for me, so now I have to wait three more years when I already was drinking back home. The more I learn about America, the more others can learn about the motherland, beyond what some media figurehead tells us.

What do you hope to gain from your experience at JU? The obvious answer to this is a degree, but anther answer is possible dual citizenship. I hope through this, I will be able to travel between Russia and America with more than just a student visa. I truly believe I can call America home, if given the chance.

What is a quote or song lyric that describes you? “Do you realize I’m the man and I’m in my prime? And it’s my time, I swear to God I won’t waste no time. You ain’t worth a dime, no, you ain’t worth a dime. Still on my mind, you’re still on my mind.” – ‘Let Me Know (I Wonder Why Freestyle)’ by Juice Wrld

Additional Headcanons

TWs: Depression, suicidal tendencies, under age sex/drinking

Vitya Cristo has always been the baby of his family. It was not due to his age, or order in the births of his siblings, but more his health. It was discovered in his infancy he was born with a congenital heart defect. His skin was pale, he would lose his breath while feeding, and his hands and feet would swell up. His father, being a rich man in the pharmaceutical industry, wanted to fix his boy, but the medical professionals said the case was not severe enough for infant surgery. In fact, he should live a relatively normal life. His father did not see it that way. While his siblings would wander their large, mansion-like house in Vladivostok, Vitya was ordered to stay indoors. He was not allowed to play sports if not escorted, and was even monitored by a personal nanny to most of his schooling. He was isolated, unable to be a regular child because of his helicopter-like father.

Vitya’s mother was the light of his life. The woman had a fire in her, one that was freer and looser than her husband. She loved the man, of course, but disagreed with how protective he was of their son. On nights where he was away, she would sneak Vitya into the fields and courtyards and let him run around and be free. One of Vitya’s most prized memories is running through their lawn with the fireflies. He loved these moments with his mother and he learned to never take the good things for granted.

When Vitya started to enter his teen years, his father would take him to work more and more. Some days, his father would show him the labs and workers that were developing medicines, pills, and more. His father was introducing him into the business, with the obvious intent to pass it on to him. It was a cushiony job, with minimal risk, and little to no physical activity and enough money to set him up for life. It was clear was his father was trying his best to keep his son sheltered as he entered those rebellious years. It was also during this time that Vitya started displaying depressive symptoms, including self-destructive tendencies like playing with lighters and razor knives. In a hope to loosen the leash, Vitya’s mother convinced her husband to send him to school instead of teaching him at home. He, woefully, agreed.

When Vitya was sent away to an all-boys boarding school, the hope was he would become a fine young man, ready to inherit the family riches and pharmaceutical business. At first, he lived every day as if his father was there, as if his nanny still tended to him. It all changed when one night, his dorm mate woke him up to sneak out for the night and meet several other boys at the river nearby. It was near mid-terms, and the boys needed a break. Little Vitya could barely contain himself when he saw all the contraband they brought along. Booze, weed, satellite internet for porn, and hours to get through it all. That night, he partied like an actual teen for the first time in his life. He had his first kiss that night, his first blowjob, and later, at around five in the morning, his first partner. He dove into the deep-end, his sheltered soul yearning for the release and freedom all this brought him. And he reveled in it.

Vitya lived a double life from then on. During his time at home, he was the model son. Well-behaved, well-spoken. But at school, away from prying eyes, he was an absolute devil. Hours of drunken parties, bad habits like casual sex and smoking being his two favorites, and sometimes, getting into physical fights when his anger got out of hand. Vitya and his growing band of misfits found a way to bypass the school’s firewall, getting access to explicit content without hindrance. Vitya’s grades started to slip, but he didn’t care. He kept them up enough so his father would be satisfied, but that did not mean he was studying more. There was many-a-teacher he had dirt on, blackmailing his way to reasonable grades. He became a terror on the innocent boarding school almost overnight.

With his time at the school coming to an end, Vitya knew one thing for certain; there was no way he was going to be some CEO ass, dominating over people he would never bother to learn the name of. He still played the model son, faking his way into his father’s good graces, but each sideways glance to his mother told her what he really wanted; to get out. So, she did the impossible. Under the sleeping eyes of his nanny and father, his mother woke him up and snuck him outside, just like when he was a child. This time, though, she handed him a packed bag, keys to one of the cars, and a plane ticket, telling him to go. She may love her life of luxury and easy living, but she knew this was not the place for her baby. She only asked that Vitya keep an eye on his health, and use those American doctors for all their worth.

Vitya left that night and never looked back. He started out in New York, wandering to all the sites. He went to Pittsburg, New Orleans, Austin, Los Angeles; he went everywhere, explored everything, and fucked anything that gave him ‘the look’. Vitya would even set up in some motels and just let anyone in, if they had cash in hand and a bottle of booze. He got into some hairier situations, too, when those very customers would catch him clearing out their wallet. He had been cut off from his father’s fortunes when he discovered his actions, so he needed to make money somehow!

It was sheer luck when he applied as a foreign student at Joie University. He really just needed a place to stay, running out of motels to sell his ‘services’ out of. He knew he’d have to get an actual job at some point, selecting an easy degree to go after. He did enjoy drawing while growing up, and left his lovely rock collection in Russia, so illustration and gemology seemed a perfect fit. If only he could kick the Russian accent, then maybe he could fit in a bit better.