#I mean that ppl usually only love me out of obligation

[notpoet06]

I do not beget love

[nothorses]

in regards to your post abt the word queer, if youre willing, whats your opinion on the idea that queer and lgbt+ is not inherently the same? like for me, i consider them different bc to me being queer is not just an identity its also a choice, an ideology, a stance, a movement.

Its choosing to say "no fuck you we're here, we're queer", its choosing to be inclusive, its choosing to actually be in community and help other queers, its choosing to be true to yourself, etc. So when I say 'the queer community' Im usually not referring to the 'queer is a slur' ppl bc I dont consider myself in community with them.

But after reading your post im wondering if i should reconsider my stance on this, so if you have any insight or thoughts abt it id love to hear them! Thank you :)

I mean, I think the word has a lot of uses and meanings, and that's certainly one of them.

But it's contextual, right? When I take a "queer studies" class, I'm not taking a class in the intracommunity movement of radically inclusive queerness- I'm taking a class about the history of the whole community, and the theory our existence necessitates.

I don't really want this to be relabled "lgbt studies" or whatever. I don't want the academic community to dance around it; the overarching department that contains the "sexuality and queer studies" certificate program at my school (which itself does not mention queerness or even gender in any fucking description) is called "gender, women, and sexuality studies". And guess what! It too does not mention trans people in anything except class names/descriptions for explicitly and exclusively trans-centric classes.

Point being that this "dancing around it"-type attitude, even in my extremely queer-inclusive area and school, more than anything just leads to the exclusion and de-prioritization of certain queer people.

I don't want them to keep doing that. And I don't think drawing lines between the Real Queers and the Assimilationist LGBTs is worth that, or even remotely helpful in the first place.

You don't have to exclusively be in community with the people who already agree with you; if anything, that's kind of what's leading to a lot of these problems in the first place. You should obviously be able to engage with people on your own terms too, and you shouldn't necessarily try to reach people who obviously won't be reached by you.

But like, "they're not REALLY part of my community" doesn't lead to much except further division in the wider community. At a certain point, you're just dismissing any opportunities and obligations you have to improve your community in the first place.

And do we really want them to be saying that us dirty queers aren't a part of their pure LGBT (or LGB) community? Should we promote the idea of separate "Queer" and "LGBT" communities, which do not intersect and which are only and exclusively referred by one word or the other? Should we have separate "queer studies" and "LGBT studies", separate research, studies and statistics, separate nonprofit organizations and movements and Pride events?

There are, and always will be, ideological divisions and movements within our community. There will always be sub-communities, chosen and otherwise, within layers and layers of other sub-communities.

But we need to be able to distinguish between that, and the words we use to refer to the whole community together- even the people who try not to be a part of it, and even the people who try to force others out. Even the lesbian separatists and the truscum and the "Drop the T" people; they're still gay or trans or whatever else. If anything, their existence is an indication that something is wrong and needs fixing in our community; that we have work to do to improve it.

My point is just that both meanings can exist, and that's important. You can be part of The Queer Community as an ideological, intracommunity movement that excludes certain conflicting ideologies (I certainly am!); and you can also acknowledge that at the end of the day, the wider community is also your community, and you have as many obligations to it as it has to you.

[destinyc1020]

Why do you think directors don’t take an interest in Tom? Finding out now that Paul Ling has no input in Fred Astaire is giving me TCR vibes. Like though I love the show, my biggest gripe is that the show had four directors with different tones and multiple writers when it really needed one director who had a deep interest with working with Tom and Akiva.

Even the press for TCR was weird to me because no one other that Tom and the few core cast promoted the show. Not even Brady Corbet, yet he hired Emma Laird for his next film. Do ppl hate Tom like what did he do?????

Im only asking because all actors in Tom’s age range have directors who want to work with them. For Tom’s end it’s silent. I never read young up and coming directors speak anon his talent. Just fans tbh.

I thought it was just because he did marvel but, a lot of actors have done marvel and still have directors interested in them. Like the daughter in barbie was in a marvel film. Heck Simu was in Barbie! I’m sorry for my rant. It really irritated me that Paul King has no interest in Tom other than fulfilling an obligation to Sony. I thought he would help write the script or produce at least. End of my rant lol

Why do you think directors don’t take an interest in Tom?

Anon, I love how you started off with a FALSE statement, and then proceed to base your entire argument in your ask on this FALSE statement.

Directors LOVE Tom. Why else do you think he keeps getting roles??

Even the press for TCR was weird to me because no one other that Tom and the few core cast promoted the show. Not even Brady Corbet, yet he hired Emma Laird for his next film. Do ppl hate Tom like what did he do?????

How does the rest of the cast not promoting the film equal people hating Tom?? Explain that one to me Anon, cuz I don't get your reasoning here. People must hate Amanda too, cuz she promoted the film as well? 🥴

Maybe they weren't called in to promote! Tom is the STAR of the show. I would think it would be more of an insult if he's the lead, and they interviewed everyone BUT him! Tom was also not only the lead, but also an EP on TCR. What were you expecting?? 🥴 Tom and Amanda are (no offense) the BIGGEST stars of that series. Why waste time interviewing actors for a series who most probably don't even recognize? (Again, no offense to the rest of the cast, cuz they were great!)

Like though I love the show, my biggest gripe is that the show had four directors with different tones and multiple writers when it really needed one director who had a deep interest with working with Tom and Akiva.

This isn't anything NEW Anon. This is actually pretty typical for a series. There can be various directors for a variety of reasons. I'm shocked you didn't know this?? 🥴 Doing TV is not like doing film where there's typically one director for the whole entire project. A series is different! Usually much more fast-paced as well.

Im only asking because all actors in Tom’s age range have directors who want to work with them. For Tom’s end it’s silent. I never read young up and coming directors speak anon his talent. Just fans tbh.

And that's GREAT for them! But that doesn't mean that Tom doesn't have directors who want to work with him. Like, wth?? 🥴 Are you Tom's agent? Are you TOM? The answer is NO to both of those questions. You don't know what Tom has coming! He has probably been negotiating something even PRIOR to the strikes that you don't even know anything about.

Tom has had PLENTY of directors speak on his talent. What are you talking about??

I JUST posted an article that Akiva just did, and he PRAISED Tom in TCR! Maybe you all just don't read what I post lol 😅 (Which is fine), But at least don't your homework first before spouting WRONG information. 😒

I thought it was just because he did marvel but, a lot of actors have done marvel and still have directors interested in them. Like the daughter in barbie was in a marvel film. Heck Simu was in Barbie!

Huh??? Seriously.... What does Barbie have to do with what TOM wants to do as far as projects?? 🥴

I’m sorry for my rant. It really irritated me that Paul King has no interest in Tom other than fulfilling an obligation to Sony. I thought he would help write the script or produce at least. End of my rant lol

Ugh...you know what... I give up.....

[4shfur]

not really a vent im just talking about stuff so uhh no one feel obligated to look at this im just talking and its probably going to b extremely long and make no sense (because its late)

2022 is over honestly 2023 feels like its out of a dystopian film 😐 not very cool. i wish it was the 2010s anybody remember that? i loved that. stuff is changing a lot and idk if im ready for it. my new year resolution to do more stuff. like hang out with my friends more and do more things. idk about anything else. i want to do better in track but im not sure if i can. all my cousins are in track/cross country but theyre all better than me. my brother's only done cross country once but even hes better than me. its kind of petty to complain about it, idk i also wanna do better in school but i also hate school. its frustrating, i used to be really good at it but now im just average, it feels like. thats dumb to complain about too though because i know people who really struggle with school and im being sad because my brother got a better grade on the sat than me when he was my age. i think im a weirdo but not in a good way (transitioning topics) that sounds dumb but idk im not sure ive been thinking about it lately and i think maybe im actually really unlikeable. this isnt a weird internalized thing i think i might just be super annoying and idk how to fix it. its not on purpose. and idk how to ask my friends if they like me or not because thats super wierd????? and obv theyd say yes right bcs you cant just tell someone you dont like them. and im worriwd i come off as insensitive or pushy to ppl and they secretly hate but like?????? idk i dont ever know bcs i cant tell with people and i really dont mean to i really do like these people. i really dont wanna be that one annoying kid who keeps hanging out with people even though they clearly dont like them, but its not clear, and idk how to tell. also my new years resolution is to be nicer to people. bcs im kinda judgy about people (usually in my head but sometimes i talk mean about people) and i dont want to do that bcs usually im wrong and i dont have the whole picture and i just want to be nicer. (transitjon again) im actually doing better mentally i think, i guess i was just going through that whole "i hate my parents phase" everyone always talks about but i feel like i should be worrying about things more. idk its hard to explain but i wish i was worse. that sounds super fucked up 🤷 but im nostalgic for when i felt terrible all the time and hated myself, i guess. thats as simply as i can put it and idk whats up. i know people who are struggling and i want to help them but i dont know how and i hate that. ik this makes me sound super gross. but who knows. maybe ill get my wish and this year will be terrible or something. 21 days till for the future comes out though ✌️✌️✌️

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Heyyyyy just listening to the RaPaP Q&A and wrt to destiel being best friends they literally are but most because neither of them has other friends lol like occasionally theyll have one off references to other relationships but spn gets so insular as it goes on cas doesnt even get to meet garth :(((( i am always biased towards spn because i love cas more than anything and i do think destiel are very entwined but also idk if that is a good thing for them as ppl haha

hello ty for writing in! perhaps i (crystal) should let grey answer this one since he agrees with you but instead i shall answer as a #hater. i think, first, my stance stems from my belief that not having other friends doesn't make your only friend your best friend because i strongly consider "best friend" a role distinct from "friend that is best," and one that involves a lifetime commitment to supporting and loving each other, combined with enjoying each other's company, and without any predefined obligations to each other besides the ones you establish and enact out of care for each other. it's a combo of intent and action. some(?) may argue that dean and cas have that. i, a bitter casgirl, hiss angrily and disbelievingly at this argument. hey but if cas met garth perhaps they could become best friends fr i see it in my minds' eye it IS so sad cas didn't get to meet better ppl

i also think that spending time together matters for building a best friendship. it is important to get to know each other and build shared memories that aren't just The Plot. i think the fact that cas and dean's hectic lives created circumstances where it's hard for them to hang out with anyone, including each other, is unfortunate bc it made it harder for them to become best friends. some people (such as... idk, to give a totally random example, aziraphale and crowley from the tv series good omens, who form the greatest love story of all time and have been friends for 6000+ years and best friends for 1000+ years) could still become best friends under those circumstances, but cas and dean missed the mark

on the dean end of things, I'll just copy-paste this message i sent to grey last week, which reads: i mean if i was to actually get into the best friends debate seriously i think that 1. dean isn't nice to cas, which you said doesn't preclude them from being best friends but i think it's a reason that the supporting friend in a romcom would tell the main "he says you're his best friend, but is he really? i don't think he really has any true friends" 2. dean seems more prone to fit cas into the "family" relationship category which i'd say is different from friends for dean and we've already discussed how young sam has friends and dean has romantic relationships instead like i rlly don't think dean is a Friends guy

to expand on #1, though, obviously, love doesn't have to be Pretty and Good and there are relationships people call toxic best friendships where ppl aren't nice to each other, but also, the things i would call "besties!" or "toxic boybestfriends" feel distinct from best friends to me, plus i don't think either of those labels fit dean and cas bc i think their brand of toxicity is about emotional pushing away/pulling away rather than obsession

that being said, i haven't even watched properly past 4.18 and relationships should usually be defined by the people inside them, so on some debate stages my words would better service the prompt "Dean and Castiel are a good example of best friends. Discuss." but it's easier to say "they're not even best friends" bc i think it means the same thing in a debating-over-fictional-characters context

- Crystal :)

[kisssatoru]

17 Questions for 17 People

— was tagged by @skelemen and felt like this was necessary just to get to know me better (btw tysm for tagging meee)<3

1. Nicknames: nini (nothing else really 😭)

2. Zodiac: capricorn sun, cancer moon, virgo rising (recipe for disaster if you ask me)

3. Height: 5’5/5’6 (recently found this out & never been more shook in my life — i really went all my life believing i was 5’2…the wildness)

4. Last thing I googled: “why do police always pull over sports cars” (and when i found out why i felt sooo dumb bc it’s obviously either bc they’re curious about the car or know that the driver will speed bc sports cars are designed for that LOL the more you know smh)

5. Song stuck in my head: poltergeist! by corpse (also never satisfied by corpse & in the middle by tokyos revenge)

6.Number of people you follow: 23! haven’t posted any of my work yet so that’s to be expected (meaning i rly only want to follow certain writers and let the rest come to me if they want the mutuals)

7. Amount of sleep you get: i usually get like 10hrs but sometimes i’ll slide by with 4/5 hours (one time i slept for almost 18hrs…so if i’m left alone with no obligations for the day, i’ll sleep the day away fr — if i’m not playing games or sumn)

8. Lucky numbers: 5 and only 5 :))

9. Dream job: i thought it was being a psychologist but i’ve recently realized that even tho it’s going to be hard, i want to still pursue writing and being an author because it’s my real passion :”) wanna be good enough to get some of my work published and hopefully have some turned into movies or shows :0 i’d genuinely pass away for an opportunity like that LOL

10. What are you currently wearing: a black zoro hoodie (gotta rep my bb), black sweatpants, black/white converse with black socks (my fav colour is black so…)

11. Movies/books that summarize me: hmm no movies or books but poets like ranata suzuki, r.h. sin and haruki murakami that all have this beautiful way of speaking and describing love, having unique outlooks on love/heartbreak and someone’s individuality. i find their work really beautiful, and often read my favourite quotes from them over and over just because !

12. What is your favourite instrument: definitely either a violin, flute or piano!

13. Favourite song right now: warning by nbdy

14. Describe your aesthetic: i would say alt! or comfy? idk, i’m just usually in all black or other dark, neutral colours, definitely someone that just prefers comfy and dark anything (tho sometimes i’ll get this rly weird urge to do a pink theme…)

15. Favourite author: myself ;) i actually don’t know tho

16. Favourite animal noise: ok when kittens or puppies fall asleep and make those little noises? idk how to explain but omfg i melt every single time or when puppies want something and they do that little begging thing kind of like “nn nn nn” IDK IM BAD AT EXPLAINING STUFF BUT ITS SO CUTE PLS

17. Random fact about myself: i don’t usually initiate a convo with someone i like but when it comes to ppl with fluffy hair and dark eyes 🧍🏽‍♀️suddenly my confidence is through the roof and i feel like i can conquer the entire world LOL IDK WHAT IT ISSHHJS

17 is a lot of ppl to tag when you’re a new acc again so ummm here’s a few: @arcanedevil @aki-and-saltfish @broken-freedom <33

17 Questions for 17 People

Tagged by @sheseestheghosts. It's been so long since I've done one of theses.

1. Nicknames: Kat, skeleman, the skelemanager

2. Zodiac: Aqua Sun, Pisces Moon, Gemini Rising

3. Height: 5'3" (probably actually 5'2" but give me that extra inch)

4. Last thing I Googled: Prophylaxis Dental -- I just had a dentist appointment today 

5. Song stuck in my head: fuK u lol by Corpse

6. Number of people you follow: 48 -- I'm still getting back into the swing of things

7. Amount of sleep you get: It really depends. I can sometimes sleep for 10 hours for a few days, and then the next few days I only sleep like 4 hours.

8. Lucky numbers: 16

9. Dream job: Published author that gets to write for a living and rely solely on that income

10. What are you currently wearing: Corpse hoodie, no pants, socks, a blanket. I'm big chilling.

11. Movies/books that summarize me: I honestly have no clue. I would say the books I write myself would summarize me the best since I put pieces of myself into each one.

12. What is your favorite instrument: I have no clue. I'm very much not musically inclined

13. Favorite song right now: Out of Touch

14. Describe your aesthetic: Alt? I guess. I don't know what my aesthetic is. I wear all black, my hair is usually colored most of the time. We can go with alternative trash panda.

15. Favorite author: Probably tied between Neil Gaiman and Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

16. Favorite animal noise: NOISE? Uhhhhh..... I guess tiny kitten squeaks.

17. Random fact about myself: I have never broken a bone before, but I really want to know what it feels like. I don't want to actually break a bone, but I want to know what it's like.

I definitely don't have 17 people to tag, so I will tag who I can:

@alienbaby @eternalawakenings @escuinclebrandon @earthdomdirtbag @kisssatoru @yourblackhearts

[lili0writes]

Can I pretty pls have a Rebecca x reader fic where the reader is on the chubbier side and Rebecca is asking them out.

I adore the idea of her liking ppl who are on the pudgy side and how cuddly she'd be with a chubby s/o.

Thanks again your work rocks btw 💕💕💞💞💞

Rebecca with a chubby s/o

Note: Thanks for requesting! It might take a while to finish a request because I only have free time on the weekends. But if anyone wants a fic like this but with a different character please let me know!

TW: mention of fat shaming, violence, body dysmorphia

Before she asked you out you were way more insecure about your weight. And Rebecca knew this.

She was really happy that you started being more comfortable with the way you look. Especially with the fact that she liked the way you look

She likes to poke your tummy whenever you lay down with her, and she loves your reaction when she pokes you.

If you have a round face she kisses your cheeks all the time!

If someone would ever insult you, mock you or anything of the sort she would go ballistic. Especially if it doesn't come from a friend.

She would either shoot them to pulp, or scream at them like no other.

When she would comfort you about it, she would tell you how cute she found your chumminess and she would rub her face against your tummy.

Today in the evening, Rebecca was at your house hanging out with you. Which wasn't abnormal, but you were planning to confess your feelings to her.

Little did you know she would beat you to it.

You were sitting on you're couch watching a movie, like you usually did in your free time. While watching the movie, you were eating some takeout you got from a near by food stall. Occasionally laughing or commenting on the movie

When the movie was over you invited her to stay the night, and she was happy to obliged.

You gave her some clothes she could sleep in, and decided to get comfortable while she changed.

Your head was in a spiral of thoughts and worries, then you suddenly feel the bed sink beside you. When you look over you see Rebecca with her usual smile spread across her face. You smile back at her.

"You knowww.. I would totally take you out if you were into girls" she said with a teasing smile.

Your face burns bright red from her comment out of the blue.

But you were into girls.

Although you felt like you won the lottery, you didn't believe her. You thought she couldn't possibly mean that. She had been flirtatious before but nothing more than friendly teasing. Or that's what you thought.

"Beca you really need to stop mocking me you know." You said while elbowing her in the side.

"What if I wasn't mocking you? You really don't take me seriously? You're mean you know!" She said with a sinister smile while giving you a side eye.

You didn't know what to say. What if she wasn't joking? What if she was actually asking you out? What are you supposed to say to that?

Instead of answering, you decide to ask about your concern.

"Do you mean that..?" You ask with doubt clouding your expression.

She doesn't say anything for a while. You start worrying. What if you just made the most regrettable decision of your life? Did you just lose your chance of going out with her?

"Well, fuck yeah I would! You're really hot!" She said with enthusiasm

You stayed quiet. Face red and not knowing what to say. At this point you could tell she wasn't joking. Even with her joyfull personality, you could tell she wasn't joking about this.

"I.. I would go out with you too.." you said unsure of what came out your mouth.

She didn't say anything for a while. But then a wide grin appeared on her face. She pushed you over while jumping on you, she pushed her face into you neck. She left tiny kisses on your neck while giggling from the friction.

"So sense you would go out with, where are we going?" She said with giddiness in her voice.

"Well we could go out to eat tomorrow." You responded with a smile.

"My treat!" She said placing a long kiss on your cheek.

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

God your fic is so nice it makes me so incredibly warm. I don't typically read or like fluffy stuff but God you really did turn that around on me. The little jester boys are a huge comfort to me so again your content is really nice to see:]💕

I relate with the reader so damn hard when it comes to their relationship with sleep. I've had times where I wake up from accidentally falling asleep and im just overcome with like the worst kind of guilt for it. Its so bad, like its made me cry before ANYWAYS ANYWAYS

I was wondering how the boys would react to that I guess? To seeing the reader feel that way from something thats usually small.

Hhbfhdhdbd im really really glad you’ve been enjoying the fic so much!!!! That’s EXACTLY how I want ppl to feel when they read it, honestly I’m so happy it’s making people feel happy and I LOVE that people are enjoying the fluff it’s so fun and comforting to write hhhhdhdhshsh

And I know how feeling guilty over small things that most people consider not a big deal goes and I hope you know I love you and support you and I hope things only get better for you, I’m just sorry that I don’t have any advice on how to help :c

AND! In response to your wondering! For now I might just have to say 👀 👀 👀 that I believe we will find out just how such a situation would go down very sooooooon 👀

(But also if the hypothetical situation does not happen the way you mean or would more specifically like to see, message me with a little inquiry to it again and I’ll be more than happy to oblige and give a bunch of little headcanons!!)

[realcube]

waking up the hq boys at midnight to get ice-cream hcs🍦

characters: tsukishima, tanaka, nishinoya, ushijima, sugawara,  oikawa,  kageyama 

note: yes, this was very much inspired by that one tiktok sound where the girl wakes up her bf to get ice-cream- 

also, i use midnight as like..the middle of the night- not actaully 12AM lol

tw// fluff, sangwoo- 

Tsukishima Kei

you did not need to wake him up at 1AM to get ice-cream

man was already up, having just came off his phone and laying like this 😐 in bed as he either waited for himself to fall asleep or was thinking about an awkward interaction he had earlier that day 

anyway, as soon as you turned to him like ‘tsukki, do you wanna come with me to get ice-cream?’

he was suddenly 😴 fast asleep, fake snores and all

you were stubborn though, so you hopped out of bed up to go get ice-cream by yourself if he was just going to ignore you 

although, once you threw your coat on, tsukishima decided to start questioning your unusual behaviour, ‘why do you want ice-cream? it’s night; can’t you just sleep like a normal person and have ice-cream in the morning?’ 

honestly, tsukishima probably finds your nightly antics more endearing and cute rather than annoying 

he’d never admit it though- 

if you talk to him after midnight, on the outside he always looks displeased but really, he loves talking to you period

whether it is at 5PM or 1AM

you shrugged, without an explanation for your craving, ‘i don’t need to reason my midnight urges to you.’

with that, you turned on your heels to head out the door with the full intention of going to get ice-cream - this wasn’t a game 

tsukishima groaned as he finally deduced that you were being dead serious and not just doing this to irritate him

‘ugh, wait.’ he scoffed, forcing himself out of bed to follow you, ‘we have ice-cream downstairs, dumb-ass. don’t bother going out.’ 

you didn’t spare him a glance, continuing to venture to the front door, ‘yeah, but we don’t have strawberry.’ 

tsukishima glared at you, realising that persuasion would not work in this situation so he’d have to resort to brute force and trickery

‘ah, alright.’ he let out a sigh of defeat, ‘at least give us a hug before you go then.’

you paid no mind to how he referred to himself as plural, which is something he only does when he is lying or guilty as he is talking on behalf of his two faces 

also, you should’ve realised something was up when he actually asked for a hug instead of just expecting you to give him one

obliging, you wrapped him in a hug; allowing him to scoop you up into his arms, throw you over his shoulder and carry you to the kitchen

‘let me go, you whore!’  you squealed, lightly slapping his back as if that’d make him let you go 

tsukishima snickered at how childish you were being, ‘you can’t go out in the middle of the night to get ice-cream. you’ll die.’ 

‘i won’t die!’

‘you definitely will.’

anyway, he ends up making you both a bowl of ice-cream and eating it with you at the kitchen table while watching Spirited Away

and despite the fact he had some too, he’ll tease you about this for..the rest of your life 

like sometimes he’ll just wake you up in the middle of the night (during holidays ofc - he respects your sleep schedule) and whisper in your ear, ‘(y/n), do you wanna come get ice-cream with me?’

Tanaka Ryūnosuke

IORFHIEBGEGBO THIS MAN

ik most ppl would think he’d just go with you without a second thought or that he’d be the one asking you to go out for ice-cream but- no- 

well, yes; he wants to 

but when you wake him at 1AM 

(which he doesn’t mind btw bc  sometimes he accidentally wakes you up at like 3AM bc he’s ragin’ on Battlefield oop-)

and you’re all like ‘ryū, wanna go get ice-cream?’ *puppy eyes*

he’s like ‘sure!- but i ain’t got money so- no ❤’ 

then he goes back to sleep 

however, if you say that you’ll pay..he’s already standing with your bags by the door

so you’re definitely gonna have to fork up some cash for that good quality pistachio gelato for him if you want his presence 😌

but tbh, if you said that you were just gonna pay for yourself, he’d come anyway-

Nishinoya Yū

y’all go out at midnight for ice-cream at least once a week-

and it literally began bc you were watching ASMRs and Mukbangs together at 1AM during a sleepover 

and one person was having some lemon gelato and it looked 👌✨ immaculate

in that moment, you both looked at each other and neither of you had to utter a single word for you both to know that there was a mutual goal in mind; to get ice-cream, ASAP

so yeah ig you didn’t have to wake him up but you did need to awake the desire for ice-cream inside him

needless to say, y’all ran to the nearest ice-cream place 

and you made a race out of it 

(you won, ofc)

AND YOU BOTH SHARED A CUP OF GELATO AND IT WAS SO CUTE ! q(≧▽≦q)

and y’know the trope where you have food on the corner of your lip/chin etc and the person kisses you to get rid of it? 

yeah he tried to do that with the trope in mind but he deadass LICKED you IWFBVBBFRI

he was like ‘omg (y/n), lemme get that for you’ 😋👅

honestly, ig it depends if you are into that kinda stuff but ik some ppl would leave fast af ( ﾟдﾟ)つ Bye

Ushijima Wakatoshi

sorry i might have a bit of favouritism going on but i feel like ushijima would be a bigger bitch about it than tsukishima (at first)

but it’s like- solely bc you woke him up y’know?

‘ushijima, wanna go get ice-cream?’

he’s just laying there with his bed-head like :/

silently livid bc you messed up his potential 9 hours of sleep

‘no.’

pester all you want but that is the best you’re getting out of him that night

HOWEVER, the following afternoon (after practise ofc), he took you out for ice-cream 😊

and unlike some would believe (by ‘some’, i mean myself 2 secs ago.) i don’t think he’d be all ‘ice-cream is horrible for your health, (y/n)’ or ‘i can’t believe you’re eating that filth. your body is a temple.’

but that rather he’d just happily eat gelato with you; everything in moderation ig :)

OH AND HE’D PURPOSELLY BUY A DIFFERENT FLAVOUR FROM YOU SO HE COULD BE LIKE

‘(y/n), do you want a bite of mine?’ and give you a spoonful to try like the romance king he is  

Oikawa Tōru

you wouldn’t wake him up bc mf needs his beauty sleep

plus, it was during a sleepover at your house so ofc you didn’t want to wake up your guest 

but he’s a light sleeper so when you’re shuffling through your stuff at 1AM, sneaking around the house to find a jacket (trying to be as quiet as possible so you don’t wake him up); his eyes are open and he’s speculating that sangwoo is near

until he turns around to notice that you’re not laying next to him and he is in fact being spooned by a large pillow (probably a sangwoo body pillow smh)

after that, he hops to his feet and storms through the house in search of you so he can yell at you for ruining his sleep grr

however, once he finds you and realises that you look ready to head out, he feels inclined to firstly ask, ‘where are you going? you know it’s 2AM, right?’ 

you replied by explaining your plan to sneak out for ice-cream and he just stared at you, absolutely bewildered for a few moments

he stood like a statue with that stupid expression on his face for ages so you asked him if he was alright, to which he responded, ‘that’s such a stupid idea.’

‘so, you’re not coming with?’

‘of course i am.’

so you both ended up sitting with your ice-cream cones, in your pyjamas, on a park bench somewhere, admiring the moonlit sky along with the stars adorning it

oh, and that was actually the first time he said ‘i love you.’

Sugawara Kōshi

if feel like suga would be exactly like the guy in the sound/video: confused, tired and extremely reluctant but ofc inevitably he ends up standing outside of a dessert place, hand-in-hand with you

he’d wake up, weary from fatigue and he barely has the strength to argue with you during the day - so how exactly was he supposed to do it in the middle of the night? 

thus, he lugged himself out of bed and threw on a coat but as soon as the cold winter air bit at his nose, he was flooded with the energy and will-power to try convince you stay in with him

(It’s his parental senses) 

‘you’ll catch a cold, darling!’ (yes, he does call you that.) ‘and it’s night too, there’s probably a bunch of creeps out and around!’

at that point, it was just a battle of will

bc you both had each other’s wishes at heart

you wanted him to have peace of mind and he wanted you to have ice-cream

(and he was kinda craving some himself tbh)

so you both decided to stay in, tucking into the half-eaten tubs of Ben & Jerry’s in the fridge 

and after that, neither of you got any sleep bc you both stayed up watching movies and cuddling 🥺

Kageyama Tobio

he was wide awake at 2AM, laying beside you on the bed, practising sets 

so ofc the time wasn’t an issue

but kageyama wasn’t big on sweet treats so when you suggested that y’all should go out for ice-cream, you were shocked - to say the least - when he simply replied 

‘sure’

like why would he oppose? he was already awake. plus, he was kinda craving something sweet tbh

also, he could tell it’d make you happy and he’s whipped tbh

so you took advantage of this indifferency by immediately jolting up and dragging him to your favourite dessert place

the whole time, he acted as usual - it was as if he was just on a regular walk to school

when you got there, you both shared a sundae and he paid; what a king (❤´艸｀❤)

(it was bc you had forgotten your wallet/purse at home- but still a kind gesture 💕)

you both just sat in a booth, pecking away at the sundae while talking about anything and everything that came to mind as the low, distant R&B music from the shop’s speakers played in the background

 ‘it is flat. have you ever been on a plane before, (y/n)? did you see a single curve? no.’

you rolled your eyes, finding it physically painful how stupid kagyeama could be sometimes, ‘it’s science, kags. the earth is round! the curves are just very subtle.’

‘no.’

‘YOU CAN’T SAY NO! IT’S SCIENCE!’ 

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation. 

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most. 

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything. 

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really. 

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning. 

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family. 

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom. 

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.

[onewithnomightypowers]

clandestine (chapter 1)

PAIRING: Tom Holland x fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Y/N is an up and coming actress, married to a once hotshot actor, Harrison (Haz). What happens when her co-star, Tom, makes her realise that she is stuck in a loveless marriage. A marriage starts crumbling and a new romance stars brewing.

Chapter 1: too wise to trust

A/N: y/n is bisexual but not paired with a women. the characters have been aged up. the characters in no way portray how these ppl are in real life. i do not encourage cheating. i hope you guys like it as much is i do. if you want to be tagged them pls tell me. also comments are appreciated as they motivate me to write more and i love to know how you guys feel about the story.  

warning: cursing, mention of miscarriage, mention of sex, mention of cat calling, angst. fluff? 

word count: 1.4k

important: character thoughts are bold and italic, flashback is in italic

masterlist   series masterlist   chapter 2

She picked up her makeup bag from her vanity and started walking towards her empty suitcase which was wide open on her bed. “What time is your flight?” Haz asked while walking into their bedroom. “I think it’s at 6:30 in the evening but the car will be here to pick me up at 4”, she replied whilst folding her clothes.

“So we have at least an hour to us”; he pulled her by the waist and started kissing her neck. She tried pushing his chest away but failed miserably. “Haz, I’m not in the mood, please stop”

“Fine. But you have been saying that for months now”, he was frustrated.

She ignored his words like always. 

He was right. They hadn’t had sex for at least five months now and it was starting to gain on Harrison. Their marriage, which had been ‘couple goals’ according to the internet, was now slowly falling apart. It was clear that Y/N was falling out of love but she couldn’t find grounds for it. She couldn’t reason it by making him the villain because he was a good man who, in theory, had done nothing wrong. Though, to her, it felt like he had. Maybe he didn’t love her enough or maybe all had gone astray when they had lost their baby last year.

“Will Tom be there?” his words felt like venom, entering her bloodstream.

She placed her hand on her forehead, trying to indicate that she did not want to have this conversation or the inevitable fight, again.

“Of course he will be there, he is my co-star. You should get off the internet, it’s feeding you poison”, she said in an almost nonchalant way. Trying her best not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction to his name. His name, which did not mean anything to her. Tom was her colleague whom the internet liked to ship her with, but he was just a friend. Haz found it hard to believe this because the internet told him so. Their relationship was so far gone that he had no other way of knowing what was going on in her life. 

His wife was so far gone. She was as distant as the sun is from the moon. The distance left coldness between them. The kind of cold that you feel when you pass a stranger. She was a stranger to him and the only reason he could think of was that she and Tom were having an affair. This was not true, but the ache in his soul found comfort in painting Tom as the villain. 

“I don’t believe you”, Haz spat out.

She threw her heels inside the suitcase in anger. “What do you not believe? That Tom is my co-star? Is that what you don’t believe?” her voice was louder than before.

“I don’t trust him.” Haz matched her voice.

“Do you trust me?”

Trust? Her? How can I trust a stranger?

It was his turn to ignore her.

She zipped her bag, put on her shoes, and left the room. “Fuck you”, she cried before slamming their apartment door and leaving for London.

--

Y/N had first met Tom at a cast and crew dinner in New York, six months ago. Greta, the director, had invited both her and Haz but he had decided to opt-out of the ‘fancy’ dinner. Y/N was excited to meet her new co-stars and mark the starting of a new project, a new phase in her life.

It was cold in New York, she figured she shouldn’t wear a dress. She put on black stockings underneath blue bell-bottoms to keep her warm. She wore a dark grey American Eagles t-shirt and over that, a tan leather trench coat. She liked commuting via subway because she believed ‘nobody gives two shits about who is sitting next to them on the train’; and a town car was much slower, especially when it had been snowing. She stuffed her heels in her purse and wore her commuting shoes.

Tribeca to West Village was a good ten minutes train. Her travel was mostly uninterrupted except for the catcalls which felt like the usual to a native. Just before ringing Greta’s doorbell, she got out of her Converse and wore her heels.

Y/N entered a packed house. Almost everyone was there and she was late. But someone was to arrive even later than her. She examined the room, everyone was mingling with each other. She didn’t know anybody there except Noah Baumbach from the time she auditioned for ‘marriage story’. She didn’t get the part but still loved the movie. She realized Tom was missing.  

Greta pulled her into a conversation about when the production of the movie would start or something like that. She wasn’t really paying attention. She was so eager to meet Tom that her eyes couldn’t stop roaming around the room, trying to find him, and just when she thought he wouldn’t show up, he did. 

Everybody’s head turned towards him when he entered the living room. It was as if every person in the room wanted him, including her. His dark brown hair, falling into place like a domino, had snowflakes in them.

“Excuse me”, Greta gave a small smile to Y/N and walked over to Tom. She greeted him and politely touched his back. “Now that everyone is here we should take the party to the dining hall”, she said in a loud and cheerful tone.

Following Greta, everyone started moving towards the dining hall. Tom sat right across Y/N on the grand dining table. “Hi, I’m Tom”, he introduced himself in his thick British accent. “And he’s English”, Y/N said, adding to her list of things she found captivating about Tom.  

“And?” Tom gave her a confused look.

Shit. I said it out loud.

“I-I mean hi, I’m Y/N”, she tried to cover up her mistake.

His dark brown eyes on her, made her thoughts run wild. It was wrong enough to feel right. The dinner was served and small groups of conversations were taking place. Somehow the whole table took on the topic of bisexuality. Y/N felt obligated to take part in the conversation, being part of the community herself. 

“I think bisexuality is a gateway to being gay”, Tom said to the whole table.

“You’re being bi-phobic, Tom”, Y/N called him out. All eyes were on her now.

“And how do you know that?” Tom asked Y/N.

“Because I am bisexual, and any decent human being would know that”

“Are you calling me indecent?”

“No, I’m calling you bi-phobic”

“But aren’t you married to a guy?”

“That doesn’t change my sexual orientation, and you’re being bi-phobic. Again.” There was silence, everyone was listening carefully. 

“Okay, so please explain to me how I’m being bi-phobic?”

“Just the fact that you believe bisexuality is a gateway to being gay and me being married to a guy, means my bisexual card has been revoked, portray your biphobia”

“I am a little confused”, Tom said while reaching for his wine glass. 

“Someone who is bisexual is attracted to both men as well as women. It isn’t a gateway to being gay, it is a legit sexuality of its own”, 

“Hmm, I suppose I stand corrected. I’m sorry if I offended you or anyone. I will go home, do the research and try to be more open-minded”, said Tom, smiling.

“Good”, Y/N said, feeling accomplished and impressed by Tom’s ability to accept his mistake.

Haz would have never accepted that he was wrong.

Y/N felt wonderstruck. Blushing all the way home. She hoped Tom knew how enchanting it was for her to meet him. She wondered if someone was waiting for him at home, like someone was waiting for her. She wasn’t quite sure whether Haz was waiting for her to reach home or not.

She reached home to an empty bed. Not knowing what to make of it, she got ready to sleep. 2 AM and Haz was still not home. She didn’t try to reach him because she knew all phone calls would go straight to voice message and all messages would go unreplied. She closed her eyes, feeling indifferent towards Haz. Even in her sleep, her mind echoed Tom’s name. She was unaware of the treacherous road ahead of her. And that gave her comfort. His thought gave her comfort.

[rudolphsboyfriend]

I once heard some say "to all the straight people who put pronouns in their bio, thanks for being that way" and I couldn't tell if they were sarcastic or not. Is it bad for straight people to put pronouns in their bio? How else are you supposed to know they don't use "they" pronouns? I mean I suppose you could say by default you would assume their pronouns to be cis but anyways I wanted your opinion.

Hey! I'm assuming u meant to say cisgender and not straight?? If I'm wrong pls tell me but yeah. I'm pretty sure they were being genuine, it sounds pretty genuine, and i can't think of why anyone would have a problem w that?

Before i go on just keep in mind i am also cis so this is a cis person speaking, I'd love to hear the viewpoint of non cis people on this, and i think their inputs would hold more weight than mine. So dear trans and non binary and all other people who r not cis please do share your opinions.

Ok so. Of course, noone is obligated to share their pronouns in their bio if they don't wanna. That being said, here r some reasons why i think cis ppl specifying their pronouns is helpful.

Firstly, it's always good to normalise specifying your pronouns. For example, if someone's trying out new pronouns or is trans but doesn't wanna say that explicitly, putting he/him (for example) would be a lot less stressful if cis guys did that too. If no cis people do that, then putting your pronouns in your bio is kinda just saying "hey look at me I'm not cis" and some ppl aren't comfortable w that.

It's kinda similar to when ppl in lgbt relationships use the word "partner" instead of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". If more straight ppl say "partner" then it becomes normalised and less like an ID of being lgbt which is often what they're trying to avoid by using that term at all.

Secondly, it helps counter the belief that being cis is the default or that you can tell a person's gender and pronouns just by looking at them. Cisnormativity is smn that we have to unlearn. Your gender n pronouns and how you choose to present urself is up to you. Cis ppl shouldn't simply think "oh I'm obviously cis if I don't specify otherwise" cuz that's a rlly harmful thought process.

It's like heteronormativity. Again, noone is obligated to share their sexuality, but thinking that being heterosexual is the "normal" or the "default" is harmful. This can be countered by straight people specifying that theyre straight instead of just assuming that everyone will know. A straight person going "I'm straight" is a good thing, so a cis person going "im cis and i use the pronouns assigned to me at birth" is a good thing you know what i mean?

Yeah these r the two main points i could think of. If someone doesn't specify their pronouns then i usually just go with "they" until they tell me, if they ever choose to do so. I hope this made sense!!

Again, I'm cis and i only answered this bcuz it referenced cis people, but I'd like the voices of trans n non binary ppl on this!!

[capnhanbers]

hi- so- erm- I absolutely adore your JOAT- i finished reading all 96 chapters within three days with a max of 11 hours of sleep in total- you're such an amazing writer and artist and i wanted to know if you could give any tips on how you made a story that you- like- kept? like, you kept the story going on for five years, you care about the characters enough n shit- idk i've always wanted to have a story like that. how do you do it?

WOAH hi jesus thank you so much!! :’D please get some fucking sleep but that is,,,fuck,,,it’s flattering damn, i’m so so happy you dig joat that much waaa!

and! that is! a fascinating question! lmao. i’ve been sitting here for like ten minutes asking myself. like...it is kinda crazy right? that i’ve been doing this for 5 years? because here’s the honest truth, here in 2021 i’m in uncharted waters. i’ve never had this happen, where i’ve somehow boomerang’d on a fixation. usually interests fade for me and get replaced by new ones. i’ve never...drifted on something, only to come back harder than ever. and that’s what’s currently happening w/ joat.

first thing is i’ve somehow managed to create a character i really, REALLY fucking care about. Naya is like,,, i dunno what special juice i drank to make her, but she feels very real. i want to keep her alive i guess? i want everyone to know how it shakes out because she deserves that. she’s good enough that ppl WANT to know. that’s clutch.

then i love undertale. bada bing bada boom. it takes a specific kind of media to make me wanna create a fiction around, and undertale checks the boxes better than like...anything. an incredible cast, a fucking fantastic base story rich w/ lore, but then a wiiiiiiiiiiiide open ending! it’s the perfect storm.

then there’s the fact that i made incredible lasting friendships through joat. my current friend/dnd group started as ppl who read it, started talkin to me, now like...i love them so much. so that’s a thing: the effect joat has had on my real life is overwhelmingly positive.

kfld;ajfd i’m realizing that’s not really tips?? that’s me being mushy. this is already such a long answer but lemme, lemme like, hold on, i’ll actually think of tips ummmm

-don’t be afraid of doldrums. if you have extended writer’s block it probably means you need to CONSUME some good media to fill the tank, and that media should absolutely include books. read from a diverse array of authors. absorb their styles.

-write exactly what you wanna write. i know that’s the lame shit everyone always hears, but it’s for real. i’m ALSO a reader of joat because i’m deliberately making my ideal story. basically: you are the most important member of your audience.

-acknowledge that it’s an energy expense. when other things in my life are sapping me of energy, i often stop writing as a result. making peace with that fact has enabled me to be more forgiving when i fall off the wagon--it maintains the positive association i have w/ the story. writing is a place of peace for me, not obligation.

....

...okay this is way too long and masturbatory i’m so fuckin sorry lmao. just hadn’t thought about it before!!! again thank you so much for reading, THAT’S a huge thing that keeps me going, all the wonderful feedback. thank u thank u ;u;

[madmadmilk]

tbh no offense but your post about white male centric media thing is kind of weird? i feel like it's super hypocritical bc you literally have a blog that predominantly writes about a white male actor in modern day settings (unlike mcu, star wars, and stranger things which are sci-fi).

also, like, does it make you feel "better" not being into predominantly white media and why? bc i see a lot of ppl on tumblr nowadays who are like "oh i'm into kpop (or any other poc artists/actors) now, thank god i stop liking *insert white artist/actor*" which just screams "i'm better than u bc i don't like white ppl". i mean i get it if these white ppl are problematic but most of them are not so i don't get why ppl do that??

🤷🏻‍♀️ lol again, i wasn’t gonna answer this cos i don’t wanna ‘be negative’ on ur feeds but lemme just clarify what i meant in > the post in question. <  lol you’re confusing the context of what i said.

first, i’m not offended by this. ppl are entitled to watch (or not watch) what they please, just as i am not obligated to watch every lil thing a pretty white boy is in. i already said it in the original post, but i don’t feel like sitting through a white male struggle movie, written by white men for a white (male) audience. that’s it lol, there’s no need to poke more at that. if you enjoy it, good for you! but not every film is going to b relevant to YOU. 

and just to help ya understand, here are some ‘critically acclaimed and recognizable’ movies/shows/series i simply do not care about:

Recent Oscar Noms like: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Marriage Story, Ford V. Ferrari

lmao actually, all Quentin Tarantino movies make me queasy, i,.e. Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill etc.

The Revenant and ‘bros in the wild’ stuff like that

La La Land

The Wolf of Wall Street

any movie set in like medieval europe & centers around a king

and while growing up, Pretty Little Liars, The Secret Life of an American Teenager, The Hunger Games series, The Divergent series, The Maze Runner series, Teen Wolf series –– i feel nothing towards them

it took my boyfriend A LOT of coaxing to get me to even start watching Marvel Movies, Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones

lol and i’ve never seen a lot of “famous american christmas classics”

lol keep in mind i’m like a lil filipino girl in america. admittedly, i’m pick and sensitive and i didn’t care much about movies growing up but now i have so much enthusiasm and love to give!! it’s just that sometimes some stories just do not resonate or reach out to you. i’ve really only felt seen by movies a handful of times. I know not every movie is going to have a version of “me” in it, but..... i’m also not going to sit and watch stuff i don’t care about.

now about fanfic: >>> not necessarily an ‘exception to the rule’ but, fantasy and fiction are usually fair and fine. a lot of fanfiction (i read/write) is written by women, people of color, of varied sexualities, of different identities, of diverse personalities–– that’s The Distinction. that’s already a drastic change of perspective, consideration, and understanding from mainstream hollywood. i’m literally here rn stomping my foot thinking about a milllion shitty action movie ‘hero-gets-the-girl™’ plotlines that are just absolute shit to me, because it lacks a certain touch. but to each their own~

and lol if you’re trying to apply that stereotype & generalization to me–– you don’t know or understand me at all. lol which is fair, we’re just two randoms on the internet but–– where the hell did i ever give you that impression? i simply said i’m not interested in most white-male-centric films. i’m passive towards them, not hateful, critical, and often pay it no mind. i just felt like saying it that day lol.

TBH, u need to look inside yourself if you feel offended by ppl saying “i like kpop, glad i dropped x-actor.” their transition of enjoyment shouldn’t mean anything to you, no matter how heavy-handed they do it. i don’t really condone ‘celebrity/media’ bashing, because it’s a waste of time but–– don’t take it personally lmao. if you perceive it as “i'm better than u bc i don't like white ppl” instead of “i’ve branched out and chosen to support POC music, actors, & media” then................ . .. . . ..  .. . .. ....  .. . .. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. . 🤷🏻‍♀️

we watch and support different movies and media because they make us feel something. we all have different tastes. enjoy what you enjoy, and just skip over things you don’t care about. don’t take someone’s differing opinions to heart, and if they make u upset lol just unfollow them. that’s it 👏🏼👏🏼.

[bleachbleachbleach]

HELLO.

I just wanted to say that I love, love, love your tags on that character/tool post a lot! Some of my favorite shows/books involve characters that can't keep it together and just barely make it to the end of the story or make it there in an "inconvenient way" and tbh I find that usually the narratives that follow these characters don't really work away from them either--the narrative is just usually more questioning instead of fully formed.

Like, 'what if/how would', y'know? There's less of a clear meaning and more just 'what if they hadn't done that. what if they had done that. what if all that meant nothing. what if that struggle was all there was'.

But oh boy, when they DO work away from the narrative. *chefs kiss*

I mean, most of my favorite Bleach characters are narrative nightmares who either hinder or cut off lines of theme in the story entirely. And, in general, I think there are A LOT of characters in shonen--a genre known for very long narratives that can't possibly complete every thought but also can't just abandon all those characters introduced ESPECIALLY the fan favorites or personal favorites--work in the way you described.

Tbh i think your tags really highlight why so many ppl get drawn to these characters/why they're so fun to play with in fanfiction.

If you have more to add or more thoughts about this you want to lay down I am here, eagerly awaiting and ready to pick them up.

Also, who do you think in Bleach is the most fun characters who sort of drop kicked the story, in your opinion? Who's the one you like the most? And who's the one you dislike the most?

[For posterity the referenced post is this one.]

Aww, thank you! That’s really lovely to hear. I was anxious about even putting it in tags because I don’t think I presently have the capacity to explain it well—and even if I did might still sound bananas to many. Or at least the bit about negotiating with characters and how *they* feel about being subjects in stories. Because as much as that really is my practice saying it out loud takes me back to like… FFN in 2003 where every store was prefaced by extensive chat-form back-and-forths between the fic author and their character "musies" and that is not something I think fandom would benefit from bringing back in force, hahaha. But anyway.

Here’s the part where I disappoint because I don’t think I actually know Bleach well enough to speak to it in this context. WHICH SOUNDS DUMB EVEN AS I TYPE IT BECAUSE LOL WTF IS THE NAME OF THIS BLOG WE ARE CHARLATANS AND POSERS FOR CLAIMING AS OUR NAMESAKE NOT ONE BLEACH BUT THREE BLEACHES but truly, my experience of Bleach has a shallow depth of field. I feel like I have weirdly intimate knowledge of some severe rabbit holes but a non-existent to uneasy sense of the gestalt.

Like idek man, in my "slow re-read where I am actually paying attention" Ichigo hasn’t even met Byakuya and Renji yet. ToT

I'm gonna put this behind a cut because it spidered all over the place, but in summary:

characters and their capacity to produce narrative failure

the charm of longform serialized series and their invitations to imagine stuff

me attempting to talk about Hitsugaya and feeling a fool, as usual

I guess in general terms, I’m really interested in characters and their capacity to produce narrative failure. Not failure as in 'bad' but failure as in things that break form or are circuitous or are actively detrimental to a narrative arc. All my strongest examples of what I’m thinking of are from a different fandom and therefore not relevant to this blog, alas. By comparison I think anyone in Bleach can keep it together better than the characters that are immediately coming to mind, lol. But I think this idea dovetails often with trauma narratives, or depression narratives, because these things are often… non-narrative? Like, there’s no fourth or fifth for minor fall or major lift. Sometimes it’s the same thing over and over again, or maybe nothing. Maybe it’s the exact same self-sabotage narrative dictates could have been avoided. Maybe it’s some act that emanates forth but cannot be explained because it cannot be explained and will never be explained. That’s a version of what I’m talking about, in any case, though not the only version.

Your note about longform shounen definitely resonates with me, too. In my mind I don’t like long things and I prefer series that are more self-contained but whenever I have ever landed in a long-term fandom, with a piece of media I felt obliged to carve out chunks of my life for, and to interact with at that level of creative fannishness, it’s always been something stupid long and serialized by the seat of its pants. I know plot holes or dropped threads bother a lot of people (makes total sense, don’t get me wrong) but I find these things incredibly attractive. I see them as invitations to join in the fun. Especially when it’s so much a part of the form and genre to have this, as you said, lack of real expectation that every thread will be followed to its conclusion (or that it would be worthwhile to do so) and every thought completed.

There’s this piece by David Grann that was published in The New Yorker in 2004 that I really love that speaks to part of this idea, albeit in terms of fictional universes versus fictional characters. But Grann is talking about Sherlock Holmes (Doyle original) and the ways that Sherlockians would like, approach apparent lapses in narrative and then solve them according to the established rules of the universe. I just love that. There’s also the line, "Never had so much been written by so many for so few," which LOL if that ain’t fandom I don’t know what is!!

I feel like I’m actually talking about three distinct but related facets of these thoughts in this post, except all at once and without clear transition, uhhhhh.

Gah, I am broken and now can ONLY think of examples from my not-Bleach fandom, but to try a different tack and add yet another facet to this already funhouse-mirror post, my various attempts to write Hitsugaya often feel like they come up against a version of this. I think Hitsugaya has aggressive side character energy, and I find it difficult to make him the center of a story and have it feel right to me. He feels different to me than writing other minor characters, where they can be the center of their own stories even if their story is not the main story. Like, two of my fave characters in my other fandom have literally like… three lines in 350+ episodes and it feels easier to imagine THEM at the center of their story and I think what it comes down to is that Hitsugaya probably prefers what he not be written. And when he does become more narrative I think he’d prefer that none of it was happening in the fist place. But at the same time he always seems to be…around??? whether there is really a good reason for him to be present or not. XD So while, say, he and Bartleby "would prefer not to" (because THAT'S what this post needs, a Melville reference), Bartleby actually opts out and Hitsugaya out here volunteering.

He also often feels non-narrative to me because he feels very declarative, if that makes sense? Like, the coming-to-decisions or coming-to-realizations parts of existence happen pretty quick, or are approached perfunctorily. I feel like I find narrative in the "coming" part of that equation and instead Hitsugaya will be like, well, I’ve already done that part without you, and/or plan to do that part in the future and it will still be without you, the audience. Anyway, here’s the determination I’ve made, here’s what I’m going to do, and here begins the long and probably tedious process of my doing that thing (off 2 go train in a cave for a bit). I don’t think he actually believes the world is that simple, Tab A into Slot B, but I do think he’s already made that assessment and can see coming to terms with that as a horizon, if that makes sense. So even if he doesn’t know the answer to something, or is completely at a loss of what to do (what to say to Hinamori? how to productively address the number Aizen’s done on him) there’s still not necessarily a story there. Maybe the answer is you grind, and it is repetitive and boring. Maybe you just hold things. There’s not even the act of learning how to hold things, necessarily, just the practice of doing so.

Wow, that probably doesn’t sound good! I feel like I need to suffix this with the assurance that Hitsugaya is my absolute runaway character in the whole series and this was true 15 years ago and it is still true now (truer, even) and everything I just said are reasons why I love him.

[firebuug]

for 93 fun oc asks: 9, 93, 81, 69 (im just curious abt the question OK 🤬) and 65 for Farrow and Buggy!! :0

sorry to spam questions i just happen to like that meme

NO ITS OK I LOVE DOING THESE THANKS let me put it under a cut just in case it gets long winded

9. What is their favorite color? Favorite animal?

ok so farrows is obvious possums and possum adjacent animals and rodents but his fav colors are like. yellow and red and neon blue specifically. buggy likes yellow, orange, and black and really likes every animal but specifically has chosen sheep and goats to latch onto apparently. also cats and many sea animals. he cant choose. he used to have a dolphin phase if that counts

93. What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said?

GOD so i dont actually write enough for buggy to actually have any Iconic Lines but lucky enough for farrow him and skuggy have years's worth of beef for him to have time to have developed an iconic line and it's just "you and i will never be a we" ndhfjkfdf. cheesy as fuck but does the job. if i were to do some digging around in the juggy event i could probably pull something i liked from buggy but nothing stands out too much for me . WAIT. ok so this is funny when compared to the weight farrow's line holds but the only line that stuck with me from buggy is "my fires are the ones that're hot" and that came from his old ask blog bc people tried to hit on him

81. Are they bothered by the sight of blood?

it'd be kind of insane if farrow were since he dies every other day in varying ways so no he's gotten pretty used to it KJHGKJH. even before that he grew up in the mafia infested city on his own without parental supervision so i. jfhd once his dad died and he saw the most blood he's ever seen in his life he started growing accustomed jhfdkjs. also he's lowkey a bit of a medic so he can handle shit like that

buggy on the other hand cannot bc while he Does like. kill ppl. theres never any blood and hes usually very far away from them. whenever he does see anything gruesome he cannot handle it considering he Was that gruesome scene a good few years ago KJDFHD. he does not like blood he wont faint but. its not fun

69. How did the people in their environment growing up affect their personality?

GOD THIS QUESTION. ok so buggy was very much molded by his experiences throughout towns. he used to be kinda standoffish and not very social but the more he lived in trial towns the more he realized he'd do much better both survival-wise and emotionally if he just. was friendlier and worked with people instead of against them kjhdff. the whole dexter ordeal happening while he was still kind of. malleable and impressionable didn't really help his self worth at all so he became kind of a doormat but since he keeps getting shoved atround THAT'S teaching him "hey maybe i should stand up for myself sometimes" but. its. its a process for sure

farrow grew up surrounded by evil people jdhfdksj i dont think he had a single person to look up to that treated him with love and patience growing up so this is why he is the way he is. like genuinely i think before he met skuggy he has never met someone who he knows is being nice to him not out of obligation or to try and get something out of him/to survive LMAO. so i. you can understand why he's so fucking mean to everyone including people he likes

65. What’s their immune system like? Do they get sick often? How do they react to getting sick?

i. HAVE NOT THOUGHT OF THIS UMMMMM like i rarely ever consider the fact my ocs can get sick like. illness is not real in salem ♥ umm i think buggy's would have a pretty good immune system he has like a 300 in constitution. what he lacks in everything else goes to his strong constitution fjdfg. and farrow would be. Fine? but i guess since he was necromanced and died for a good while thatd probably do. Something to his immune system fuck if i know. i guess it isnt as good as it used to be fkjsf. whenever buggy is sick he takes it easy and stays in bed for the most part but still. does things he needs to like cook breakfast and if he lives with anyone he doesnt want them doing everything for him he'll feel bad. farrow on the other hand will be pissed off at himself for having the AUDACITY to catch ANYTHING that makes him perform at 99% instead of 100% and will go on like he is FINE and he is NOT sick and FUCK YOU DAD I DONT NEED SOUP IM F😡😡😡😡ok maybe some soup BUT IM FINE!!!!!! until he forcibly has to keel over and rest hjdkg. even then he'll still be enraged

THANKS FOR THE QUESTIONS SORRY FOR THE ESSAYS LMFAO