#I mean its a bit pointless tbh but Idk lmao
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Some ref sheets of two of my oc's! 🎃🤖
#my art#oc#original character#original art#oc artwork#my ocs#should i tag their names(? idk i will lol#milkomeda#mellow pumpkin#robot oc#pumpkin oc#the silly cats...anyways uh yeah some of my oc's! now that I showed them y'all might see them vibin around in my art#becauseee yeah this is a bit silly but I wanted to properly introduce them before making any random art of them?#I mean its a bit pointless tbh but Idk lmao#anyways happy Halloween :)#reference sheet#character design
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rewatching TOH pt2: I’ve seen some arguments about how the final season bent back over to coddle Luz and how it felt like she had everything to gain and nothing to lose, and the counterarguments that “not every end needs to be doom and gloom to be good.” I mean, I get where the latter is coming from; there’s too much media out there obsessed with angst because oooh realism but I still find myself siding with the first opinion, because the show makes a point of calling out the Chosen One trope, and there was a significant amount of screentime dedicated to Luz stressing about having to choose between Earth (real world) and Boiling Isles (fantasy land) only for her to get both anyway, and become the chosen one. It feels like the Luz we started the show with is the same Luz with whom we ended the show. And like, having to lose/sacrifice something doesn’t necessarily make the ending sad yk? Maybe bittersweet but not necessarily bad.
What really cemented this for me was s1ep11/Sense and Insensitivity, where Luz mentions that she was aware that becoming a witch on Earth was impossible, so her runner up dream was to become a writer and I wish that was how the series ended---Luz choosing to stay with her mom before the gateway between both worlds is destroyed, thus choosing the real world with all its dread and dullness, but realizes that doesn’t mean she has to become dull too. Instead she channels her creativity and love for magic through writing and shares the stories of the heroes of the Boiling Isles. In a way she does get both real life and fantasy but it feels like she actually grew up. And she herself says in s2ep13/Any Sport in a Storm (after finding out Azura’s writer was human after all): “Some times it’s nice to be reminded that you don’t need to be a powerful ancient witch to make something special.”
I’m gonna get a bit fanfic-y here but I like to imagine her on her first book signing/reading/whatever in the epilogue. In the first page she dedicates the book to her father, with whom she found her love for magic and books, to her mother, the kindest and most patient mom anyone could ask for, and finally to the Owl Lady and her magical friends who helped find her real ambition and grow into the person she has become today. A bright-eyed child asks if the Owl Lady, Amity, and King are really real, which Luz answers vaguely, with a distant but affectionate gaze.
Move on to the Boiling Isles and everything they need to show us about how it changed including the reformed schools of magic, and end with Amity walking by the beach where she discovers what resembles the human trash Eda used to collect (and maybe Tibbles picking through it to find his next scam). Among these is a book, its cover art a dramatic witch duel between somewhat familiar face, and it reminds her of all these years ago when she first found the Azura series. Unlike that series, however, this book is signed by a name she knows very well.
Boom happy where everyone finds their place in life and is doing what they love and even though it’s sad that they separated you still have an open ending that gives hope for the gang finding each other again.
Idk I just think it’s a shame ep11 is the only episode where we see Luz’s passion towards writing fantasy (rather than just reading or dreaming about it), besides maybe teasing starting a writing club with Amity in s2e13. If not to foreshadow where her future was headed, the whole episode was kinda pointless since the episode right before this one where King manipulates a half-transformed Eda could’ve already served the purpose of bringing to light King’s tendency to step over others for his Demon King fantasies (but he gets away with it scot-free because Eda conveniently turns a blind eye every time Luz or King do her dirty lmao) so why do we need 2 of those in a row? Tbh there’s too many King-focused eps towards the second half of the show when I’d rather there was more time dedicated to seeing Luz actually learning magic. Why’s there 3 episodes between the episode where she gets signed up for school and the one where she actually has her first day? So much for a magical girl show.
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the whole shebang of gifs, if you don't mind :)
would like to start of by saying. that i am by no means an expert. and that easily someone could come on this post and tell me i am doing something wrong/stupid/pointless. but y’all wanted this. so let’s go. here’s how i gif (using she-ra as an example, so u can say this is a bit of a tutorial on how to gif an animated show? lmao)
first off ur gonna need adobe photoshop. if u don’t have it and don’t plan on getting a version of it then idk how to help u. u will have to find some other tutorial. anyway let’s start w the basics. to make a gif, you either need pictures or a video. we are doing a video —> gif tutorial here. so for me, i use quicktime player to take a screen recording. i tend to edit the clip to get almost exactly only the part i need on imovie so i don’t have to further crop the video clip on photoshop. once you’ve got ur video, go to photoshop, click file —> import —> video frames to layers. then click the video u want to gif, then open. something will pop up. click the box that says limit to every 2 frames, then select OK. ur gif frames will be created. then u gotta do 3 things:
group your frames. do this by selecting all frames (command + option + a) and grouping them (command + g) u should get a folder that says group 1
crop and resize your gif. now this depends on what kind of gif you want to make. you should adjust your crop ratios. click on the crop tool, a ratio thing will pop up with two numbers. number on the left is your length, number on the right is your breadth. for big gifs, i do 540 x 268. for square gifs, 268 x 268. for rectangular gifs that are meant to be two by two (lets say ur making 8 gifs w like text of a scene or whatever) i do 266 x 177. so once u have set ur ratios and adjusted the crop thing to select whichever part of the image u want in the gif, click enter. ur gif will get cropped. THEN, u need to actually adjust the size of ur gif. click on image —> image size. a thing will open up. enter the length number and the width number should be adjusted accordingly
change the gif speed. click on the triple line thing on the top right hand corner of your timeline. you should click on select all frames. when you’ve done that all the frames will be highlighted. click on one of the little numbers. see the 0.02 thing? yea. make sure not to accidentally deselect ur frames. when u click, you’ll get a pop up with some speeds. click on ‘others’. currently, the speed of ur gif will be 0.02. for me, that’s too fast. i almost always do 0.06. u don’t want ur gif to move too fast tbh. i think it makes it look weird and unnatural. we wanna either match the speed of what its like in the show or go a TAD bit slower. so like. if u wanna follow me just set it to 0.06 <3
anyway. that’s the basic stuff. after all that, your gif should look like this:
u can stop here if you want, but if u wanna make it like. different. u can continue on.
now it’s time to color!
for me i do mostly 3 things. curves, levels, selective color. u can find these by clicking layer —> new adjustment layer —> the thing u want
let’s start with curves. disclaimer: i’m doing it wrong <3 i mean it’s not WRONG but i could probably be using this function a lot better than i have. when u click on curves, it comes out as a straight line. there will be a dot in the centre. what i do is i move the centre dot slightly to the top left hand corner. so it looks like this for this gif i made:
isn’t that so fucking stupid. i let a BIT of light into the picture. like that’s it lmao. i won’t even show u the difference between the initial gif and this. it’s too stupid
levels. ok this one has a bit more function. u have a number on the left that says 0 and a number on the right that says 250. by reducing the number on the right, the gif gets brighter. by increasing the number on the left..... i won’t say the gif gets darker but the dark parts of the picture will. get darker? more pronounced? it’s all about finding a good balance. here’s what I did for this gif:
now we move onto selective color. this is a… whole thing. sigh. ok. so in selective coloring, you have 9 ‘colors’ or sections. they are red, yellow, green, cyan, blue, magenta, white, neutrals, and black. depending on what colors there are in the picture, we will. mess w it accordingly. and in each ‘color’, there are four…. scales. ranging from -100% to 100%. and they are cyan, magenta, yellow, and black. i suggest u play around with these to see what they do on ur own. this is what i did for the reds in this gif:
what i do is i try to make the reds stand out. in this gif there’s only those 2 stripes but usually in adora gifs she’s wearing that fucking red jacket <3 and since she’s gonna do that we might as well make that red pop! make it sexy! so as u can see i made the cyans negative, while magenta and yellow are in the positives. i’m taking away the blues in the red essentially. and making the red have a more… yellowish hue? because the bluish hues for red are. ugly. in my opinion. all these things depend on the gif btw. seriously this is just an example. i might do something completely different for another gif.
for yellows this is what i did:
as u can see i… made the yellows negative for the color yellow. i made the cyans negative too to like. take away the blue? but i made the yellows negative because i don’t want the yellows to be…. too yellow. i know this doesn’t make much sense. but when i make the yellows positive for the red section, the yellows in the yellow parts of the gif might get Too Much. so i gotta undo the Damage caused in the red section. i could do like a video tutorial to make this more clear but since this is not a video tutorial u will just have to take my word for it. basically when u color what ur trying to do is copy the colors in the source material but also… make it different. it makes no sense I know <3
anyway! adora’s wearing white in this gif. so i changed the whites too. it looks like this:
i essentially tried to make the whites…. Whiter? lmaooooo
and now i will show u my shameful cyan and blue sections. here is the cyan section. i don’t have to show u the blue section because i did the exact same thing:
yes i went 100% on the cyan and -100% on the yellow okay. what about it. what. fucking shut up. i also did something similar in the magenta section. wanted to make the purples blue... i guess
also as u can see from above the original color of the background is purple. i’m that fucking extra so for this gif i did an ‘extra step’. i added a hues and saturation layer. and I basically adjusted the hues so the purples became blue
see? also yeah the hue and saturation section is also separated into different colors. i adjusted only the blue section this time. after ur done, ur gif should look... hopefully nice <3 but i always sharpen my gifs. so i will show u how to do that, also
going back to the triple line button in ur timeline, click select all frames —> convert to video timeline. then go to the top of the page where there’s this thing called filter. click filter —> convert for smart filters. click it again. filter —> sharpen —> smart sharpen. this will pop up:
follow these settings. then click ok. u are done. u can save ur gif now. but if u are paranoid like me, u will click on the spacebar and play ur sharpened gif to make sure it looks ok. the first time u play it it will be very slow. wait. then click ur spacebar again n it will load faster aka the speed it is supposed to be. and there u have it. to save ur gif go to file —> export —> save for web. u will see how big ur gif is. hopefully its not too big. if ur gif has more than 100 frames that would not be great. if it has something like 200 frames or something that’s way too big probably <3 i try not to have more than 100 frames for this reason. gotta be safe <3 ur gif will look something like this if u do what i did:
idk how well i explained this. probably not super well. oh well. hit me up if u need a video tutorial
#ask#lmao here's a she-ra themed gif making tutorial where i curse at you#literally no one teaches like this#but also i deserve to get paid lol#giffing catra might be different from this#also giffing both catra and adora... hahaha#also i didn't do any text tutorials for this#hmu if needed#but seriously this took so long#hopefully it helps someone#feel free to tip me on ko-fi if it did xoxo#cask-of-armadillo
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More random general thoughts on episodes I’ve watched in the last few days, just for me
Glease - Yeah idk I really like this one. All the numbers are fun and good. There’s some good angst. The Marley bulimia thing is absolutely bonkers but uh. Idk man. I enjoy the ep for the most part
Thanksgiving - Yeah I really like this one too. I love all the music tbh. I don’t even have that big a problem with Gangnam Style, so sue me. Quinn and Santana both trying to look out for Marley was good until it turned into rehashed irrelevant high school drama between them. And I like how they did the scene with Marley passing out, that was neat
Swan Song - This episode is maybe a little musty but I don’t hate it. Obviously I love Kurt’s song. And tho I’ll admit I think he’s a bit ooc at times, at least it means Rachel can step in and be a good friend? That’s rare so I’ll take what I can get. Honestly I wish ND had lost and that was that. Found something new to do. The next two competitions were boring and I’d be fine if we didn’t have them at all tbh
Naked - All its glaring faults aside this one is pretty entertaining. The calendar stuff is funny, it’s a really good episode for Sam, the Jarley stuff is cute. Also most of the music is pretty great, so I like this episode over all
Guilty Pleasures - Great music, fun for the whole family. Sam and Blaine should’ve just taken over glee club ages ago. Lock the doors when Mr. Schuester tries to come back. This one is just a great fun time and all the music is perfect so I love it
Previously Unaired Christmas - Not that I live for controversy but I kind of like this ep don’t kill me lol. Yes it’s insane and pointless and there’s plenty of questionable moments but who cares. I love all the Kitty stuff, Love Child was hilarious, this ep also has Tina in a leotard so... On the NY side there’s tons of juicy Pezberry, Kurtana, and Kurtcheltana and I gobble that shit up. And yes the Chipmunk Song was insane but it was funny and cute, idc
Frenemies - It was better than I had in my head, but not by much lmao. The Pezberry feud is ridiculous and I wasn’t a fan of much of the Artina fighting either. The Kelliott stuff was cute, I liked most of the music, it had some funny moments. Oh also I just hate Sue in these eps cause even Jane sounds tired and she’s literally just like “everyone is stupid” in the most bored voice like this isn’t funny lol
Trio - Still don’t like the Pezberry fighting but this episode is pretty cute and funny. Good music, love the Blamtina lock in and all their cute moments. Also Kurt and his band performing, yay! The Happening is honest to god one of my fave numbers in the whole show, I adore it. Love Demi and Adam, can’t get enough of them so I’ll take what I’m given
City Of Angels - Not a fan. Like yes the Finn tribute is sweet but all the blind Finn worship is just overkill. Finn didn’t pick Sam out to join the club bc he wanted someone to follow his footsteps ?? he wasn’t the uniter of cliques, he was blackmailed into joining the club, and he was one of many kids to be in the glee club and also be a “popular kid”. Also he couldn’t actually pick glee over football/his reputation until like half way thru s2. Please chill. Also I’m not crazy about the songs or just competition eps in general for the most part. There were some good moments but meh
100 - Sorry not sorry, not a fan. Too much Brittana, too much Quinn. The Unholy Trinity number was hot but that’s it. Most of these songs were terrible compared to the original cover so why bother doing them again but worse (except Defying Gravity, that was great). All the dumb shit with Rachel, Mercedes, and Santana especially. Like stop being stupid little high school babies, we’ve all moved on. It’s just annoying
New Directions - Same as above. But this time with new songs that are also bad. Don’t care about Quinn and Puck getting back together. Hate Santana fucking off from NY to disappear with Brittany. Who is also a math genius now, thanks for that. Also the video they made for Will. You honestly expect me to believe that Kurt, Santana, Blaine, Mercedes, Quinn, Tina, ANYONE except Rachel had a genuinely kind word to say about him? Don’t make me laugh. Anyway I like this one more than 100 bc idk it’s one more closer to New New York and that’s what I’m really here for
#glee#long post#my thoughts#anti brittana#anti brittany pierce#anti will schuester#anti finn hudson#angel watches glee#omg i watched 11 episodes on the last one and on this one too#i didnt even mean to#i was just like thats enough lemme talk about them#it just worked out that way
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Hii! How was your day playing RE2R?? Hope you had fun. I was awful on my first run 😴 PS. That post of Piers' rifle O. M. G Sign me down as hot and bothered. Also, 1st it was Chris carrying Leon, but our snipy guy isn't falling behind hahahaha
okay so we did both Claire’s run and Leon’s run, Claire’s run first, and here are some of my thoughts! I enjoyed it a lot! but I also have some complaints. so buckle up this might be long and very incoherent :’D (also spoilers for the game, obviously ;D)
pluses:
I love how Claire and Leon have such distinct personalities, and how they take to things differently. like when Claire sees a huge monster she’s all “BRING IT ON BITCH!” while Leon is all “sigh I need to eliminate this thing damnit” :’D
I love how badass Claire is, and how she cares so much, and seriously I would’ve died so so so many times if I was her lmao
I love Leon, he’s a precious nugget, the whole speech about how helping people is why he joined the force? loved it. love him. he’s such a genuinely good guy
also I love how Leon’s so clearly fresh from the academy, a little naive, not jaded by the world and all. he’s a little annoyingly by-the-book in some moments but I think it suits him bc he’s so young and hasn’t seen so much! (although I would’ve loved it if he’d made some of the dumb jokes he’s so known for?? please, such wasted opportunity)
it’s super pretty the graphics are great
Sherry is super cute and the bit you play as her was fun!
the map is great and i’m saying this bc so many games have such shit maps and it makes using them pointless but in this it was really good
the mood and exploring places and whatelse was so good
i enjoyed how Leon grew some backbone and realized Ada may not be such a good guy too, even if it took him a while lol
the flamethrower.
the final fight against Mr.X it was super cool
the little almost surprised smile Leon gives at one point omg my heart
minuses
it’s such bullshit how you can blast a zombie in the head with a shotgun and it still might not die?? i get it if it’s like a handgun sure or if you hit some other part of the zombie but if it’s literally missing 95% of its head and still comes at you? bullshit.
the zombies could be a lil slower or a lil dumber, a lot of the times it felt like they caught you unfairly easily tbh. like a zombie with no arms could still grab you from all the way across a corridor?? bull-shit.
Mr. X. and I know this is an unpopular opinion but honestly? running from him got old so fast and it stopped being fun and suspenseful and turned into irritating and tedious. and it took a lot of the enjoyment from the game at one point.
the storylines could’ve matched better like. from what I know of the original version there the A and B scenarios were handled so that they made one cohesive whole, but in this they... didn’t lol. and they could’ve made them match better with very little effort so there’s no excuse, really.
...these are super shallow ones lol but I would’ve liked it if they’d kept Claire’s red hair with that she would’ve been perfect. and Leon’s chin is wrong :’D
also Claire and Leon could’ve interacted a little more? and I don’t mean a lot, i just mean like. they had that quick video call in the end, they could’ve had something similar earlier too. or like. somehow managed to radio each other once or twice. idk. but something. i think that would’ve been an improvement
i’m pretty sure i’m forgetting something right now lol but here are my initial thoughts literally five minutes after finishing the game :’D
PS. That post of Piers' rifle O. M. G Sign me down as hot and bothered. Also, 1st it was Chris carrying Leon, but our snipy guy isn't falling behind hahahaha
s a m e. that is so hot tbh. and i love that although Piers is’t as bulky as Chris is, he’s still strong and he could absolutely pin Leon up against a wall if he wanted to 8)))) ehehehehe
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wfc opinions (spoilers)
-idk if this is just me but it kind of feels like i HIGH KEY have no clue what’s going on sometimes? it’s like the same problem that idw2 has where it’s lots of talking about stuff that the audience doesn’t understand the meaning behind? i feel like at the least they should have explained what the fuck the motivation for each faction is supposed to be because i’m literally so confused and i feel like as soon as i finished watching wfc all of my knowledge about what was going on plot wise got thrown directly out the window. it seems like they just throw things at u so fast that u don’t really have the time to process them but they’re also not really throwing u anything at all? maybe it’s because i’ve been a little distant from tfs recently and needed a refresher so that it would make more sense but also if i already know a bit about transformers and im feeling this way wtf is it like to have never consumed any tfs media at all and watch wfc? does this make sense to other people or has my brain just stopped making tfs make sense bc i thought we were all on the same page of idw2 not making any sense but now i feel the same way about wfc?
-i like the dynamic between jetfire and starscream tbh? i kno a lot of people are mad about it bc they would rather them have more of a g1 relationship but i think it’s interesting to see how starscream is resistant to any type of authority. since he’ll have jetfire’s job in the next season it’s going to be fun to see him then try to go after megatron’s job and i think it would be a good way to SHOW that starscream is ambitious instead of just having people say it. it’s also going to be interesting to see how megatron and starscream will interact with each other because of how megatron reacts to jetfire coming to him with starscream problems.
-some of the characters have fr no characterization whatsoever? and they also all sound really similar to each other? mirage in particular for me had a scene where he spoke to sideswipe and it kind of struck me that if i hadn’t been watching them talk to each other i would have no idea this was a conversation going on between two different characters. i feel like this is super unfortunate because those two characters especially have had very different characterizations in the past and here it feels like there’s no distinction between them.
-impactor’s death was so pointless and makes me so mad lmao. like his relationship with ratchet seemed so one sided and when he dies it seems to not even really effect ratchet at all, which could be a way to show how desensitized he is to war but up until this point ratchet doesn’t even really treat impactor differently from how he is shown and implied to treat everyone else so there’s no reason for ratchet to be super upset over impactor anyway because only impactor is the one shown to have any sort of deeper relationship with ratchet? impactor’s death loses all of the impact it could have had on the audience or on the characters because up until that point he isn’t shown to have any sort of strong relationship with any of the other characters. it would have been more meaningful to have ratchet have died in his place and use this in the next season as a reason to make impactor side more with the autobots. they fleshed impactor out more than probably any other character and then killed him without utilizing any of the work that they did. like. its only a 6 episode series and they have a pretty decently sized cast of characters that the time could have been given to in order to make the rest of the living cast more interesting but they used that time for a character they ended up killing instead? i hope this is making sense.
-it also kind of feels like they were hyping impactor up to be an eventual autobot and were giving him conflict with mirage that would later turn into like. respect but then they killed him and it’s like? why? their argument scene was the only real show of how the autobots think of themselves and how the decepticons view them and it also created conflict between the group because even though impactor is a decepticon he’s still hanging out with the autobots who aren’t shown to have any type of relationships with one another other than they are working together? there was nothing personal about them or their team at all but they also weren’t shown to have any internal conflicts within their faction and mirage and impactor having conflict with each other that spans between seasons would have been a good way to show the dynamic that exists between the autobots themselves and the one that exists between the autobots and decepticons?
-love that decepticon high command are constantly disrespecting each other lmao. i hope we learn more about whatever is going on between soundwave and shockwave and if the cloning thing was something they both decided to do (and why) or if shockwave just decided to make soundwave clones without telling him. just the little interactions between the decepticons made me laugh
-also. i love how starscream really just gathers all the seekers together behind jetfire’s back to talk shit about him and i love the way skywarp, tc, and barricade walk away real fast when jetfire shows up and sees it. it makes u wonder what the seekers think of starscream and how well they will take his leadership.
-the mercenary thing. is really interesting and for some reason i kinda doubt it but i would love to see more about mercenaries in the show?
-i think next season will sadly focus more on bumblebee and him being apart of the autobots instead of exploring any of their other characters from this season. i think him not being an autobot is more interesting than his usual characterization but i would still like to see more from all these other characters they’ve introduced at the same time.
#i think this is it i feel like i've slowly gotten more confused as i was writing this and now i have no fucking clue what im talking about#i did like it tho overall even tho im kinda disappointed#i might go back and add some things and do a rewatch so i can hopefully make things clearer and understand better#wfc spoilers
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Being in love and having a crush are different things. Adrien loves ladybug and that's not gonna change. Having a crush on Kagami won't change that. Same goes for Marinette. She loves Adrien but might have a crush on a boy she just met. She won't stop loving Adrien. The fandom keeps pushing the idea that Adrien MUST have a crush on Marinette. People even insulted Thomas because he denied it. Having a crush is being attracted to someone. Being in love goes way stronger than that.
I dont really like idea that Adrien has to fall in love with Marinette, but ofc its painful a bit to know that he really doesnt have romantic feelings to her (or he is in a big denial). We see it like that because we know Mari is LB, but the problem is that Adrien doesnt know it and they are two different girls for him.
I know its normal to have a crush and to like more than one person. But theres also a difference between being in love and truly love someone.
Yes, Marinette loves Adrien. Adrien loves Ladybug. There are many moments which show and prove it.
But ofc even strong love can have hard times and person can start getting doubts.
I saw it like Adrien didnt show that he has fallen in love with Kagami tho. Seeing beautiful person for you doesnt mean that you will have romantic feelings right after it. He was happy to get a new friend first. But we will see what Adrien really thinks about Kagami and their interaction later. But boy surely has a type lol.
I just didnt like how Marinette started getting romantic feelings to Luka. Like you came in boy’s room and like see him for the first time, you have a lil awkward moment, he starts playing something for you (idk, i found this moment not really romantic…….because ive never been into music boys, i guess lol), gives you lil gift and says that you are funny, leaving the room. Boom, she thinks he is nice and cool. We can call its like almost love from the first sight. *shrugs* That was just so fast. I know it happens in different ways. but I just didnt like this way.
Also why she reacted so hard on his compliments? I always wondered why she didnt fall in love with Chat before Adrien tbh, because he was with her as LB in a hard time, he was nice from the beginning and stuff. But nah. And here she is shy and flustered over a boy who she met just some minutes ago.
Thats my point of view. Luka is nice and pretty boy, but this ep didnt show much about him anyway. Marinette and Adrien deserve more love and attention from different people ofc, Love Square is end game, etc. so all my previous thoughts are pointless lmao
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AND ANOTHER TAG THING {warning: strong and possibly strange opinions, LONG ASS RAMBLES (which most definitely include strong and possibly strange opinions), frequent oversharing}
tagged by the lovely Angel <3
1. If you could go backward in time, what would you do first? #2008 Log- Don’t pretend to not be bothered by HC and co’s behaviour and actually call them out on their shit. Note to self: You don’t owe anyone anything. #2009-2014 Log- Start homeschooling earlier. Maybe actually tell people how you felt too? You might have gotten a diagnosis, and thus the treatment that has drastically improved your life, sooner and you’d probably have a lot less scars. Maybe none. And also might not be immune to the effect of regular painkillers. Also maybe then you’d be able to just get said painkillers from the cupboard where they used to be instead of having to ask your mother permission on whether you can have some- at age 22- and having to swallow them there to prove you’re not hoarding them for later (cause that’s right, you did that once, ya dumb little bastard). #2012-2013 Log aka You STILL don’t owe anyone anything- Also do not engage with HS AT ALL. Just nip that one right in the bud. Don’t even go there. PTSD ain’t fun. Also do not allow HC to worm their way back in later. PTSD still ain’t fun. Though then you probably wouldn’t have written that one VIXX story and not only was writing that story enjoyable (sometimes???? ... maybe?????????), that story did also apparently help a lot of people too...so... maybe don’t fix yourself for the sake of those people who told you your writing helped them through a lot of their own shit. **Particularly never forget the one person who said they hadn’t cried themselves to sleep a night since finding your story. Taking that back from someone is not a nice idea. LOTS OF SHIT THAT BASICALLY MEANS: stop trying to kill yourself, dumbass. people aren’t lying when they say things get better. well, somewhat. also don’t let people take advantage of and abuse you. or maybe do a bit. because your suffering has helped others and that’s all that really matters right? BUT JUST A BIT. definitely not all of it cause that was Shite.
2. Conversely, if you could go forward in time, what would you want to see? Dumb men (I was going to say ‘straight, white, cis, American’ men but realised I’ve seen other types of men also being equally idiotic, SO I GUESS JUST MEN) being deleted from all youtube comments please. Also maybe shut down tumblr. I think we’d all benefit from that tbh. Also while I’m at it, can we have a game similar to Pokemon GO but instead of catching Pokemon you catch hot anime bishies. Get exercise and also get five thousand hot boyfriends :D Also retaining the nickname feature. Because that’ll be entertaining.
3. What’s your favorite word and why? I’ve always been fond of kerfuffle. It just sounds so cute and happy. A kawaii way to say you fucked someone’s shit up. Petrichor is also a DAMN FINE word. It sounds satisfying and the meaning is EVEN MORE SATISFYING.
4. Hot chocolate with milk or with water? Toppings? Marshmallows? It tastes better with milk, but as I at times have more than 3 a day (since I don’t drink coffee and need caffeine), if I plan to have more than 2 I will make them with water. I believe I have already stated my opinion on marshmallows as well lmao.
5. If you could change one thing about your favorite fandom, what would it be? Tbh delete all appreciation for my absolute NOTP. And no, I don’t actually mean Akashi/Furihata like most other Akashi/Kuroko shippers; I occasionally state I don’t particularly care for that ship, but I tend to just ignore it and its existence for the most part. Whereas my actual ‘I FUCKING HATE THIS’ ship, NOPE I WANT THAT OBLITERATED> DELETE ITS EXISTENCE. WIPE IT CLEAN OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. This can also be said to apply to one particular person in said ‘FUCK NO’ NOTP. I have frequently expressed my disdain for this character, I do not make it a secret, so it should be no leap to assume who, and which ship, I’m talking about here.
6. You now have the ability to permanently alter one character from any fandom. Who do you pick, and what do you change? -Lmao. Okay. Well, I’ll name some names after all then, shall I? -Can I just. Completely erase Momoi’s existence from KnB entirely? Jfc I cannot fucking stand her one bit. The only redeeming quality of her very 2D, bland, and at times downright offensive character, is her desire for the GoM to be friends again. And I could live without that somewhat nice sentiment if it meant the remaining 99.9% of her shittiness was gone. I will never like her. -I can occasionally stand her in fanfiction if she does’t have a major appearance, and also if she’s not being monumentally annoying. And even then I don’t feel any issues with killing her off due to dislike of her canon characterisation. I could literally care less what happens to her. Harsh, maybe, but I personally feel she brings nothing of value to this series, and tbh it would be far better, and certainly less cringey, without her. -I have essentially been awake for 3 days so this is probably said with much less delicacy than I would normally use, though regardless of insomnia-induced aggression levels, the base feeling is the same.
7. What is your philosophy on life? (Is it pointless, is it meaningful, is it what you make it, etc…) I honestly don’t care about things such as ‘the meaning of life’. We’re never going to know who put us here, if anything did, or what we’re meant to do, if there is anything, or why we are here at all. Just do whatever you want. Everyone’s going to die and the sun will turn into a black hole and swallow the earth and the universe will ultimately end in a rather unpleasant manner anyway. As long as you’re not harming anyone’s way of life, do what ever you want I could care less. (that got kinda dark... I guess that’s what happens when people ask philosophical questions)
8. Would you consider getting a tattoo? If you would, what would it be and where would you put it? -Well the first tattoo I ever planned on getting (decided upon when I was 15), and the one I still want to be my first, is my recently passed dog’s pawprint tattooed on my left wrist; where I used to frequently self harm. The original idea was to get a tattoo of something meaningful there that would remind me every time I went to hurt myself that there’s still reasons for living. I stopped self harming around the same time my dog died in 2015, and even though I didn’t really need the reminder to not hurt myself in that way, I decided that getting his pawprint (which I was given a print of when he passed) would be especially nice, and would serve as a reminder of things I survived, and should I ever need a reminder in the future. My plan is now to get his paw on my left wrist (where the majority of damage was done, as he was my first pet), and when my cat also passes (hopefully not for a while still), I will get her pawprint on my right wrist. -In less meaningful directions, I’ve also wanted the Grey Warden’s emblem tattooed on me for the longest time. I’m thinking thigh in terms of placement. idek what it is about them, or about the DA series in general. I mean, being a Grey Warden is arguably (is it tho) kind of a shitty thing?? You don’t really want to aspire to that if you enjoy, idk, LIFE? But their tagline of ‘In war, Victory; In Peace, Vigilance; In Death, Sacrifice’ IDK BUT IT JUST GOT ME.
9. What’s your favorite headcanon? (Could be your own or someone else’s) Shit, I have A LOT. *These are all mine as well! (mostly lol) -One that I’m still fond of is the hc that Kuroko becomes sleepy after eating a lot (particularly sugary things) which is one reason he eats quite lightly, and that the GoM during Teikou would always be attempting to overfeed him because they thought it was adorable when he curled up in their laps and went to sleep. -Another I came up with is Akashi not being allowed to play videogames (and probably also not watch much TV) after his mother died. Thus, the GoM (and later Rakuzan regulars, YES YOU TOO MAYU WITH UR LOVE LIVE RHYTHM GAMES) would bring in their DSs and PSPs to school to let him play them as a much needed break from all the pressure being put on him. -Ideas conceived with 6ubblegum earlier such as Masaomi actually having an unrequited interest in Kuroko’s dad when they were younger, and obviously him becoming quite upset when Kuroko’s dad married Kuroko’s mother. We also came up with the idea that Masaomi and Shiori’s marriage was arranged by their parents for mutual family benefits and that the pair never cared much for each other, and also that Shiori was aro (also I angstily suggested ‘imagine her crying under her veil as she walked down the aisle tho’). Then I also suggested the idea of what if Shiori and Kuroko’s mother were friends, going on playdates with their sons (and also the humorous idea of them putting baby Akashi+Kuroko in matching dresses). So in the end, Masaomi has never been much interested in his own son, and the only person who cared about Akashi truly was his mother, who is now gone. Also Masaomi becoming understandably VERY opposed when Akashi begins dating Kuroko in school. -Anything involving mentally ill GoM + others (though a chunk of these aren’t even headcanons and more: I am 100% convinced these characters actually have these conditions). Especially fond of self-harmer Akashi. -Also literally any hc where any particular character is either aro, ace, or both. I reeaaaally love ace Kise actually. -AGENDER REO!!!!! -I’ll end it with a somewhat nsfw one. The shameless guilty pleasure with 6ubble of Kise and Kuroko being known as the sluts of the Teikou. They’ve definitely boned all the regulars (including NIji) at least once. Probably more. definitely more
10. Do humans have souls? Do animals? I’ve been awake far too long for these kinds of questions XD UHHH in my personal belief I’ve always maintained the idea that all living creatures (this includes humans, as humans are primates) have a sort of.. living energy?? My belief is that once a creature dies, of its lifeforce/energy/soul/the magic keeping it alive/whatever you fancy calling it, the personality part (which I would say comes from the brain and is made up of memories and of course the individual’s unique personality) goes to a plane with other deceased energies (suppose you could call this heaven of a sort - tbh I always pictured it as kinda like the pyreflies in FFX), while the rest of the energy (which I would say comes from the heart and is, I guess, the emotions the individual has experienced through life) is recycled and returned to the earth to be used again. SOOO a sort of somewhat logical theory that combines both afterlife and reincarnation. I also think that the recycled energies can recognise other energies they knew in previous lives. Not in a literal sense, but more like, they might feel an inexplicable connection, be it between two people, a pet and a human, etc etc. I kinda like the idea of this also explaining real life cases of supposed ‘soulmates’. Two energies meeting that once knew each other and were compatible in a previous life (sounds really YA romance I know). This could also be potentially used to explain some conditions or mental illnesses. Recycled energy that previously had lots of negative experiences may be renewed as someone who is also troubled (blame ur disorders on your energy ancestors lmao). This could explain troubled people who have no family history of any similar experiences. IT ALL SOUNDS VERY FANTASTICAL BUT YE. This has all come together after years of viewing and researching many different spiritual beliefs and recounts of spiritual or other ‘incredible’ events, in an attempt to kind of merge everything into something that could potentially be real and/or believable. Idk if scientifically this would make any sense, but I feel it’s logical enough to suit me anyways.
11. What’s your favorite holiday and why? Well I have mentioned I’m pagan before, sooooo, my answer to this will probably be weird? XD LONG AND BORING BACKSTORY TIME: I didn’t really become self identified as pagan until the age of 13-14, and before that I grew up typically celebrating Christian holidays (Easter, Christmas) despite my immediate family not being religious at all. I always saw these holidays as more just time to be with family than anything else. So I do still celebrate Easter and Christmas as I’ve grown up with them in a culture that celebrates them whether you’re religious or not. I guess Christmas was always my favourite? It’s roughly a month after my birthday, far enough that I get double presents, but close enough that there’s still lots of ongoing excitement. And growing up it was typically the only time each side of my family would all be together (we’d alternate, one year at my mum’s parents, the next at my dad’s). But as I’ve gotten older, and grandparents have died and families have drifted apart, I’ve become less interested in both Easter and Christmas, seeing them now more as just times to buy stuff for people when you really can’t afford to, and tbh now I find myself more drawn to things such as Samhain (also ref that if you have seen spn, they butchered the pronunciation. it’s more akin to ‘sah-ween’ it’s an Irish word I think, which explains everything tbh) in particular. Before last year I had never sought out other pagans in my area and thus was a bit lax in my celebration of sabbats, so when I actually started meeting up with other people in my city early last year, it actually really changed things for me (so emotional sobsob). The Samhain I celebrated with this group earlier in the year (as I’m in the southern hemisphere, Samhain for me is in May) was actually a really really special thing that I did. It also happened to coincide around the 2 year anniversary of my dog’s death, and as Samhain (which has become modern Halloween to most) is a day for celebrating loved ones who have died, it was just a really nice experience to think about my dog, as well as my grandmother who died 3 months before him. THAT WAS A LONG, BORING, AND MUSHY WAY OF SAYING THAT BASICALLY: ‘pagan Halloween’ (tho that term doesn’t even make sense lmao) is actually really lovely and memorable compared to almost every other ‘traditional’ holiday of my life.
Geez you just happened to ask all The Big Questions. And you literally went from 100 to 0 to 100 and then probably to 1000. Or maybe that was just me. I AM VERY TIRED AFTER VOMITING ALL THAT OUT. also my finger joints hurt.
WELL, if you got all through that, here are my own questions, which I totally Did Not steal from other question memes already in existence. I’m definitely not lazy. No I’m actually just very tired lol. These are all going to be fandomy/OTPy questions because WE REALLY NEED SOME LIGHT CONTENT AFTER ALL THAT. Plus everyone loves talking about their fandoms and shit.
1. A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind? 2. What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? 3. Your favourite fandom {for the people, not the thing you spazz over}? 4. Are there any fandom popular ships that you don’t like or just don’t get? Alternatively, are there any typically overlooked minor ships that you think are really underappreciated? (hay this one i made up myself lol) 5. What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? 6. What’s a popular romantic/sexual ship that you can only ever see as a brotp? (also me!) 7. If you had the chance to make your OTP canon, and your NOTP very clearly stated as ‘definitely not canon eVER’, how would you express this in your ‘new canon’? (i’m on a roll) 8. Which character is Daddy Material? (there’s always at least one, admit it) 9. Character you relate to and why? (please share all tragic similarities) 10. As either a reader, writer, or both!, what’s your favourite fanfic genre and/or tropes? Are there any you always stay away from? 11. Opinions on omegaverse (in any and all forms, ranging from early spn fics, to the surprising amount of BTS/kpop fics, or have you tried the Japanese manga take on omegaverse - or even.... Life From the Ashes)?
Tagging: @6ubble-gum AGAIN LOL cause these are new questions and I want to see your answers | @the-chibi-sempai | @justsimplyl | @humanitys-shortest-soldier | @kelandry5 | @seijuurouus | @sugaless-coffee bro r u still alive | @kagabutt bcuz we still need to talk moar |
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hey! let’s talk! about me!
I’m gonna bullet list in hopes to keep this concise (UPDATE THIS SHIT IS A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AND I THINK I WILL BE MAKING SEPARATE POSTS), bc i know it definitely isn’t going to be very organized. Before i had my fucking mental breakdown this afternoon, i actually had a lot of thoughts this morning. Some good, some bad, but i felt like i was taking the time to really acknowledge and process some things that.. I don’t get to acknowledge and process often. Or that i just flat out refuse to, or i choose to repress memories, or am still struggling with “wait, did that really happen or am i making it up,” which apparently is a sign of childhood emotional negligence or some shit like that. So basically this will prob end up being a series of extremely personal anecdotal text posts that i have shared with.. Absolutely no one prior to now, for all of my two followers to read (but tbh y’all don’t even have to, i’m mostly keeping this up here for me & prob to have something to share w my therapist, but i won’t stop y’all)
Part I - Oh no, I Caught “The Gay!” Alright, so boom: sexuality. I know i don't shut up about being gay, i know i am entirely way too hype about having a gf and being absolutely fucking smitten with her (AND WOMEN IN GENERAL), but when it feels like i’ve been forced into being silenced about that for sooo fucking long, shit can you blame me? I’ve been pretty open about it as an adult (p much 20 & on or so), it wasn’t like.. This huge secret or anything, but it also wasn’t something i went out of my way to make public. I never officially came out, and unfortunately when people found out it was because this real crazy chick decided to out me out of nowhere and i guess i just figured i had to own up to it, i didn’t really care what people thought of it then. It was weird answering questions, but easier to navigate in my 20s, though more on that later. I did let my partners know if i was dating anyone seriously (as seriously as you can as a teenager anyway), but past that idk, it just never came up. And i sometimes envy the younger kids/adults that like.. Have all these resources and labels available to them now, you know. I feel like its a lot easier to explore who you are and your identity today than it was when i was in middle school, having an extremely hard time sorting out my feelings for my “friends” (read as: i usually thought i just really wanted to be their friend, but also was v aware of how attractive they were to me, but it didn’t seem okay to talk about; whereas, middle schoolers now are a little more open? Have more labels? i have always settled for gay, Bc i did like and develop feelings for guys too but even then knew i liked my friends more). And i mean it was always something i personally was okay with, i wouldn’t deny myself the pleasure of finding girls attractive whatsoever. It’s weird looking at kids now like “oh no, they’re only children!” But i was all of 11 yrs old, first day of sixth grade, when i literally prayed that hands down THE prettiest girl in my 5th period would sit next to me as soon as i saw her walk in and had instant butterflies when she smiled at me and took that empty desk, like holy shit lmao (bruh.. She was 5’1”, puerto rican, and in my head at the time, looked RIGHTTTTT. We were partners in that class for the rest of the year and best friends outside of that class and her voice & her laugh, like bro!!!! Again, confusing and frustrating to have a crush on her, know that, be her friend and hello ofc she’s gorgeous so every boy was always after her too. Navigating feelings was so hard, but then i found a boy to crush on and felt normal again lmao). BUT it just seemed like the normal thing to do was not talk about it or ever bring it up to anyone at all at any point in time which i realize now is.. Yikes lmfao. I think it would have been different if i had someone to navigate that with, i was “mature” enough to figure it out on my own, and know to just keep it to myself, and accept it and not feel like a weirdo or anything, but not always be so eager to act on it. Again the older i’ve gotten, the easier it’s been to tell the story of how my parents thought the neighboring boy and i were so cute together in pre-k & meanwhile i was kissing this one girl during nap time, lmao. So like, i’m okay with that much; i don’t and never have felt guilty about being gay (bi, pan, whatever), even growing up in a church bc it rly was something that just came naturally to me from the jump. Puberty was slightly confusing but not a total shock either.
High school was even more so challenging and confusing? Bro. one of my best friends (and we’re def still friends now) and i were very close and the bitch had absolutely no boundaries whatsoever. Granted she had always been like that, I had been friends with her since the 6th grade as well and had seen her with other girls and boys but never put too much thought into it (you will see that this is my reaction to 90% of shit that happens to me). I’ve posted before and recently about being gay but not wanting to be predatory but getting mixed signals in “regular girl friendships,” and this was fucking textbook, lmao. I never got my hopes up or anything, and i just didn’t consider being with her a real option, but yeah, no, i deadass liked her and i’m sure she knew and didn’t mind the attention either lmao. Call it my first situationship i guess, lmao. We shared a locker so she would leave me notes and gifts, and vice versa, we’d bake for each other, we’d walk to class together, usually have lunch together, so on and so forth; she had no problem holding my hand and hugging me and being affectionate and calling me baby but like.. We weren’t dating. That was a thing. I both welcomed it and brushed it off; i was really comfortable with her physically, but still thinking i should only be dating boys even though they made me extremely uncomfortable and i’d flinch if they got too close (lmao, i have an entire separate section ready for men; cue eyeroll). I mean she kind of lead me on but not rly? I knew not to take it srsly BUT i also knew i’d be down as fuck if she ever changed her mind lmfao. Deadass she’s a 10/10 both then and now and she’d always do this cuuuute thing where she’d wrap her hands around my neck and kiss my nose and bruh i’d melt. Most people were already convinced we were dating *shrug* anyway though, this guy tried to hook up w me but i was like ehhhh so he ended up hooking up w her instead and i started dating my first boyfriend (who was terrible, abusive, and legitimately ruined my life in the short span of 10 months or so but that’s in the men’s section). It’s not like all of that magically stopped either though but i never pressed her for anything more, just entertained her and got butterflies every time she would hit me w that “i’d so love to date you” but her issue was she was comfortable with women but not sexually. I obviously wasn’t trying to sleep w her at 14, but i get it, that's her prerogative & it never got in the way of our actual friendship & i 100% value her as JUST my friend, she’s been rly great to me and has been there for the shittiest of times and has gotten me out of some rough spots. It was what it was lol. And there were other pretty girls after her that i would have considered pursuing but just never went for it. There was this senior girl i had for a class the following year and she also was and still is just jaw-dropping, beautiful, like holy shit. Something about her reminded me of strawberries and just made me feel cozy, you know? She always smelled nice, her hair was strawberry blond wellll past her waist, and she had to have been dumb to not notice me checking her out 25/8. Anyway though, i’m not trying to talk about every single girl i’ve had a crush on; the point is, i have always been firm on my sexuality you know, i never felt like i had a “questioning” phase and it just felt normal (and it has been annoying to have people question just bc i wasn’t “out” long enough to them? Or bc i’m straight passing as far as being fem + dating shitty guys goes). The only weird part was just never pursuing or never having the means to, obviously every girl is 500% straight in high school, or they sure were back then at least. I knew all of like two or three openly out girls and while i was not interested in none of them, i did envy the confidence they had not in just “hey i’m GAY,” but one of them was notorious for just pursuing any girl she was interested in and having it work in her favor? Even the “straight” ones? In my head i could only think like bro how the fuck? Anyway, proceed w checking chicks out on the sly and dating shitty guys (#bars)
So of course, college came around right, and thankfully i knew myself well enough at this point to know that my relationship with women was completely different from my relationship with men. How we interacted, how they made me feel, etc. i moved out at 17, had my own apartment, all that jazz. I had a serious boyfriend but we did do the “open relationship” thing for a bit and lo and behold, available women were everywhere. And we’d chat, flirt, and i knew the physical attraction was there (and, you know, i’m not going to get graphic or anything but confirmed i enjoyed that aspect as well) but not rly much else. So again, never put much thought into it, i was open to being with women romantically but it just never came up and finding straight guys to date after that boyfriend and i broke up was just easier. At this point, i took a “cross that bridge when i get to it” when it came to “officially” being out; it seemed pointless to make this huge deal when i was still just dating dudes, or not dating anyone at all. Not too long thereafter though, one of my close friends (i only have a couple) called me freaking out, it was adorable, lmao. So this girl confessed her love to her and she was confused about what she should do lmao (my gaydar went off THE SECOND I first met my friend and i mentioned it in passing but she always brushed it off). The whole “do what feels right” line is tired but that was the only advice i can give her really. Putting a little more thought into the situation this time and wishing i had someone i could call when i was freaking out over a girl i told her like “you know, there’s nothing wrong if you’re gay. I’m gay, i turned out just fine.” long story short, if you ask her she will always credit me for helping her come to terms with that, but she was also the first person outside of a boyfriend that i said that out loud to and.. It was nice. We kinda helped each other through that and it was nice to have that one gay friend finally lmao. But let’s just fast forward to maybe a year after that, i’d talk to girls here and there nothing serious, when the same crazy girl that liked my friend wants to talk to me (i told y’all the lesbian/local community dumb small) my friend didn’t care and i wasn’t trying to date her seriously, i was in town for the holidays and figured it’d be fun, whatever. So i was going to LIC w A HUGEEE group of my friends. Like. a significant amount, that i had only seen a couple times since high school, and that i obviously did not share my personal business with. This girl knew i wasn’t out, i told her not to be acting crazy either smh. So i knew the girl in passing but not like officially and we did most of our talking online/texting (bc thats how lesbians meet lmao). Keeping that in mind, this is the first time i’m actually meeting this girl not irl but def f2f y’know.. And this is the third time that i’m saying she’s crazy. We find a place to meet at LIC between sets and i told my friends i was waiting for another friend of mine thinking that would be the end of that. Now the whole “lesbians are crazy and move way too fast” trope was a thing w this one bc as soon as she spotted me she ran to me and just kissed me, i swear it was straight out of The Notebook, bro and i turned around and my group of MAYBE 10 friends that caught that were literally staring, wide-eyed, jaws dropped. And i just brushed it off and said k, i’m ready to go, and the questions from there on after just would not stopppppp. It was partially embarrassing bc i am not a spotlight ass bitch whatsoever, but most people that saw us together strangers and whatnot thought we were a “cute couple” and we were complimented most of the night. But every time she’d hug me or kiss me or anything, my friends would be ready behind her back in group of three trying to mouth over me like “girlfriend???? Dating?????” and no she wasn’t my girlfriend but the way she was all over me i had to claim her as such at that point to make my life easier lmao. And i can laugh it off now because no, it rly wasn’t that big a deal to me then but it does kind of suck that it ended up not being my own choice y’know. I had fun with her, the night ended well, she left w me and slept over (nothing happened [that time] but it was still nice nonetheless lol). New years eve was the next couple days and we made plans together and again, we weren’t official or like REALLY talking and it was a (different) group of us going to this house party. I didn’t think she’d do the same thing like, bro without asking or anything, imagine if i was a person that did seriously mind?? Anyway, she got drunk and was the life of the party, she has quite the presence, and by the time it was midnight she straddling my lap making out with me and thats how i came out to everyone else i knew and whoever wasn’t at any of those two events sure did receive texts and pics of my date and i. It was embarrassing initially cause this girl!! Why the fuck did she do that!! Lmao, explaining myself to my closest friends was odd bc they were offended i didn’t tell them sooner and i’m just like.. It never came up at all you know. With that said, i have waited to see if i would ever seriously date a woman bc i knew i wanted to but the opportunity never presented itself until recently, and that’s why ya’ll see me out here screaming on rooftops about how gay i am bc i finally get to do that, on my own terms, and bc i love someone soooo so so dearly.
#okay so this part isn't complete but its late and i didn't wanna back out on posting it#fair warning if you decide you want to read this irs super long#rly personal (nothing graphic or anything - just personal)#and it's stuff i have never said out loud or to anyone.. ever p much#maybe mentioned in passing but thats about it#this part is the nicest part to write about bc.. the others i have planned are rly ugly#but they'll also be posted soon enough#personal#?#me#idk i feel like this should have another tag#writings
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𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃'𝐒 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 (𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢)
initial disclaimer that shipping is really not a super high priority for me --- i think it’s fun and i enjoy it decently enough --- and i’d be perfectly happy just to develop platonic bonds for most of my muses! i’d never push a ship on anybody! feel free to ignore this post if you’re not interested in keeping this info in mind. i’m really just posting this because i feel like i need to keep track of it. maybe some stuff written here will change. that’s the fun of character development! sorry if this is kind of a confusing and pointless post overall ASDSDFGHGFD (also i’m totally willing to write short-term ships where the characters eventually break up bc that’s just how life is & i’m also chill with plotlines that involve our muses being exes or smth?)
ANYWAY, this is mostly just in order of how they appear on my muses page. All muses are multiship unless I say otherwise. Also I don’t really like writing age gaps so, unless I say otherwise, I probably won’t write a ship with a gap bigger than like 3 or 4 years (so long as the other character is at least 20).
AKIMOTO MIO Mio would probably be the most straightforward of them all. She’s a total romantic and she LOVES love. Mio is a lesbian and, naturally, will ONLY date women. She doesn’t really think of herself as having a ‘type’ but she likes cool women. The definition of cool here is pretty broad but she’d like someone who seems like they could sweep her off her feet. She’s really into that idea of living life like a romance drama. She doesn’t mind if you’re a little aloof, even finds it a little attractive. There’s an intimacy in watching someone open up to you. Her biggest turn-off is a mean spirit.
TOMO KATSUMURA This probably needs its own in-depth post lmao...Tomo doesn’t date because he has serious hangups about it so it’d definitely need to be a bit of a slowburn (either he falls for a friend & or he falls for someone he’s been shagging). It’s just a very confusing area for him and he’s scared of heartbreak? But he’s also the type to fall HARD for someone when he does fall. Uhhhh, just read this post & all the tags so I don’t have to repeat myself rip!! He’s bi w/an overall masc preference. This is not public knowledge.
BAEK SUMI I actually haven’t really thought this one through. I guess shipping isn’t a huge concern for me with Sumi so I’ll say...if it happens, it happens! She’s got a flirty personality in general so please don’t mistake that for me trying to push a ship. If she feels like telling your muse they’re pretty, she will but that doesn’t mean she’s at all interested. However, she’s also the type to take initiative, I think! If she’s interested in someone, she’ll probably tell them but she won’t get too upset if it’s one-sided.
KIM MINWOO Minwoo is a little inconsistent, I guess. He dates people, he’ll sleep with people, but he has a hard time keeping things going very long. It’s sort of like he gets pulled in by the initial spark and then things fizzle out pretty quick, mostly because he doesn’t know what he’s really looking for. And that’s okay, it’s not a huge concern for him. Essentially, he doesn’t have the time to date properly and, if he was dating someone, they’d have to be understanding of his schedule being an Awful Fucking Hellzone. In any case, he does this shit because it’s the normal thing to do. He hasn’t really felt that emotionally invested. Maybe shipping with Min would be tricky because he has that wall up and he probably seems a little distant so, for that reason, he’d probably be better of with someone he knew beforehand. At least he’d care less about keeping up appearances. Also he’s bi. Slight preference for girls. This, like with Tomo, is not public knowledge.
HOSHINO RIKA I think this would have to be a natural development kind of deal. I can’t see myself agreeing to a ship with Rika based on nothing and going from there. It would have to be with a character she already knew, based on how they got on in existing threads. Rika’s very shy and there’s absolutely no chance of her dating someone unless she was used to them. You have to be a kind person!! Fun and lively but maybe in a gentle way! A romance that feels...warm like a sunset...full of reassurance! She’d probably like someone ‘braver’ than her, someone more confident and outgoing but wouldn’t force her to keep up with their pace. She’s bi without any particular preference. Ideally someone who wouldn’t be weirded about by the witch thing but also someone who isn’t bothered by her not having realised she was a witch until later on.
ACE KWONG With all due respect, I don’t want to ship this guy with anyone lmao? Ace isn’t like...evil...he’s not a villain but also...he’s just not really a character I want to ship off with anyone. He’s not a romantic character and tbh he’s kind of a jerk and a...little unhinged. I cannot see him maintaining a healthy romantic relationship.
JUN Annoying. ADFGHJHGFDFGHGFDH I haven’t actually written Jun properly in like....2 or 3 years so I’m not really thinking about this right now. What I WILL say, however, is that Jun is a shameless flirt. Not necessarily a good one but a shameless one for sure. He’ll hit on pretty girls and it’ll be awful. This is NOT me pushing a ship, PLEASE have your muse tell him where he can shove it.
KOJI KITAHARA, SEUNGJAE AHN, JISOO HADEN These three are kept off the table because I’ve already got in-process ship plotlines happening for them. Seungjae’s applies to his FFVIII verse plotline so idk about his main/modern verse but I’m not really interested in doing anything there right now. I’m quite happy to keep these two with what they’ve got.
#« 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐍 (ᴏᴏᴄ) » / 「 text. 」#long post ??#i think writing ships can be really fun!! but i'm also happy enough to write them!#i also probably won't ever write ships with anyone right off the bat...if we've never really written before i probs won't feel SUPER comfy#i've had mio for 3 years without having a ship in her mainverse and it hasn't spoiled her for me like...it's not the be all and end all for#me at all!! but i'm also not going to pretend that they aren't fun to write sometimes#ANYW I FEEL LIKE THIS MIGHT BE A POINTLESS POST AND IDK....UGH...#i should REALLY be at a point where i stop giving a shit and also understand ppl aren't going to judge anyone for talking abt ships lmao#old school rp cursed me years ago#anyw...time to get back to replies
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Dnc season 3 thoughts warning spoilers ahead also very long and messy
I want to write my thoughts I have so many That was the most amazing season since season 12 in my opinion I don't know where to begin This is probs gonna be out of order because I watched all 10 episodes straight through no break only paused to type a post a few quick things on here •Maya's plot was by far my favorite I could relate to it so much, the suicide attempt was exactly how I attempted to, I didn't OD as badly as Maya but I took a lot that made me feel sick for days. The scenes with her mom especially where she threw the mirror made me cry. I've had so many similar outbursts like that. And feeling like no one was there for her. I understand why people shut her out, Grace was disturbed by the photos and Zig is basically Esmes property (not talking about the kiss but feels like he's not even allowed to talk to Maya because of Esme smh) I'll get to that later but like I've felt like that too like no ones here for me kike I only have one friend and I know he can't always be here for me but I feel like I'm not important to him and he knows I'm suicidal and depressed and I'll tie in what Lola said that I can relate to SO much, "It's like we have pain but we can't talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable" and I think that's how I make people feel and it sucks. Not that Maya really talked about her pain but she felt like no one cared. She even said "I feel like Tristan's there(hospital) because I exist" after bringing up Cam's suicide and Adams death (so glad they added him in there too because I found it weird that Maya was in a band with him and she wasn't at the funeral/bonfire or even mentioned it before) but anyway like idk where I'm going with this Maya's whole plot this season was so relatable and gave me so much tears The fact that she broke her wrists too omg 😭😭😭 but the most disturbing was the roof scene like the writers said it would be, omfg I'm so glad Esme and Zig found her and saved her I'm glad Katie made an appearance I wasn't ever the hugest fan of her but I'm glad she was there for Maya I already said this earlier but I cried when she performed the song she wrote for Zig And omg the way he tickled her was so cute THEY CONTINUE TO MURDER MY SOUL AMD I CANT BELIEVE MAYA KISSED HIM AND he finally learned his lesson to pull away when he has a girlfriend but he couldn't do that when he was with Maya UGHH I already said this but I hate Zig/Esme as a couple. I would even take Zace over this. She's so rude to everyone and I feel bad for her for what happened to her mom it's so fucking sad and I'm glad they finally told us her backstory. But the way she treated Maya, shay(especially shay but I'll get to that later) Miles, and just how she acts towards people in general. Every time Zesme kisses I cringe. I hate how she bumped Maya on purpose. Like Maya probably wasn't even aware Zesme was an official couple she knew back last season they were hanging out but it's not Maya's fault and I'm just so upset for Maya this whole season. I felt all of her pain She looked so gorgeous though I love her hair and her wardrobe this season •I love that they did a period plot. It's so realistic and relatable. I got my period at school before and bled over the back of my pants and didn't notice till way later and no one told me. Just laughed. Esme was such a bitch about it god when will that girl just shut up. Tiny was so sweet to buy Shay tampons but he shouldn't have given them to her in class lol. But I loved Frankie and Shay being there for each other this season and all their conversations. •Hunters plot I thought was gonna be lame but it actually was so funny. "Let's just agree for now that boners are funny" lmao and "we were gonna watch porn" and them all sitting there awkwardly lol •I normally don't like Zoe but I LOVED her this season and I'm so proud of her for being so confident and being open about her sexuality without caring what anyone thinks. Her and Rasha are great together I love them and I also love the Gracevas renewed friendship. ITS SO FUCKING SAD ZOES MOM KICKED HER OUT I HATE THAT BITCH. I'm so glad Grace is letting Zoe stay with her. •Like I said I loved Lola's line about her having pain but not being able to talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable like I said I can relate so much. I hate myself but I didn't hate Lola/Miles I just wish it hadn't been while he was with Tristan. But I did like their friendship a lot. I also love that Yael and Lola became friends. And I'm so glad they went in depth with the abortion plot it's so important and I'm glad everyone supported her. •Graces plot was so sad but IM GLAD SHE GOT A PLOT ABOUT HER ILLNESS and although it showed her friendship with Jonah it was all from her POV and although I suspect feelings (and I actually do ship them quite a bit tbh the scene on the golf course was so cute) it wasn't all about that it was about Grace choosing to take a chance no matter how risky and trying to live life to its fullest and I am so glad she's become the Grace we know and love this season. It made me sad when she blocked Maya's number but I understand why she did it. •Tristan at the end well throughout the whole episodes typing in his computer was so heartbreaking but I'm so glad he is awake and I'm so glad we got to see his mom finally. TBH the play the acting was so forced and had no emotion it made me cringe but I'm glad Miles told Tristan the truth. And Tristan typing into his computer "can we get pizza it's been 6 months since I've had pizza" omg •everyone there for Maya at the hospital in the end was great too even Zoe and Miles im so glad she has support. When zig said "I told her to leave me alone today" reminded me of when he said "I told cam to go away and he did" but I'm so glad everyone knows it's not their fault. I'm so so relieved and glad Maya's gonna make it and that she's gonna be okay. (Physically I mean) I know mentally it's gonna take time but I know she'll make it through this. •I don't care about Fronah but I feel bad for Frankie. What she did was wrong reading his messages but I can tell throughout the whole episodes especially when she told him in the car she wanted a break she was trying to be mature about it, I think aside from the message reading she handled herself fine throughout everything and as always I loved her friendship moments with Lola and Shay. •Miles's speech at the beginning about wanting to take someone's pain away from them and give it to himself made me cry so hard. As always, Esme pissed me off with how she treated him. Like I understand she was upset by the pictures but she should know better than anyone what it's like to go through seeing someone she loves going through pain and Miles was trying to cope in the only way he knew how. I get the pictures were triggering for the class and i get why it was asked to be turned off but to make him feel bad about it idk where im going with this im tired but anyway the whole thing just made me tear up •The whole zig/Esme sex thing and shit and every time they kissed made me wanna barf. Zig looked so hot though throughout this whole season. IM SO GLAD WE FINALLY KNOW WHERE ZIG LIVES AND OMG SAYING HE DOESNT HAVE A Family made me so sad. And like I already mentioned Esmes past shocked me and I feel so terrible for her. •Maya giving grace her ring I wanted to cry. Also when Grace said Maya was a crappy friend made me feel so upset like I get Maya kept bailing on plans but it was clear Maya was going through something. But it was clear Maya felt bad when she found out what grace was going through. Maya looking at the pics in her room made me so sad. I can't wait until she is happy like that again. She deserves so much happiness and love. •also I hope Jonah gets a plot about being in narcotics anonymous next season I'm glad they gave us something about him like we knew he had drug debts before but I thought they'd never bring it up again I'm glad they did even if it was briefly • shiny was adorable even though they kept fighting but they were able to make up which im happy for aside cuz from Zasha and the possibility of Grace/Jonah happening they are the only canon ship I care about. Well not the only one but the only one I believe will make it at this point I honestly thought Zesme would be done by ep 10 but they're still going strong and next season which is the seniors final season Maya will be recovering and Zig seemed to be over her this season and I just feel so sad I wanna have hope for Zaya but I feel like it's pointless. Of course what's most important is Maya is happy and healthy again and if she graduates happy that's all that matters to me. But Zesme being endgame terrifies me. I mean I love that zig and Maya interacted but zig mostly just seemed so wrapped up in Esme now and he had every right to move on but it still breaks my heart 😭😭😭💔💔💔 Anyway though aside from Zesme this season was amazing, totally amazing and had great plots in every episode and I was so hooked and it was definitely the best Next Class season so far. I can't believe all my faves will be leaving next season😭😭. This season was deff in my top 5 1: Season 4 2: Season 7 3: Season 12 4: DNC season 3 5: Season 11 So yeah I can't wait to see gifs of this season lol I wanna gif but I'm too tired. I wanna screencap but I'm so tired. After I sleep maybe. I'm emotionally drained from that amazing season
#dnc spoilers#maya matlin#zig novak#miles hollingsworth#lola pacini#shay powers#anti esme song#anti zig/esme#frankie hollingsworth#hunter hollingsworth#zoe rivas#rasha zuabi#zasha#katie matlin#grace cardinal#jonah haak#gronah#suicide tw
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using this gif now cause i probably won’t get to again? but hello folks im red ( those are my initials cause my name is a mess lmao ) and im from this est and actually?? i have a nice little intro page for gowan ... but i didn’t finish setting it up cause i suck but under the cut there’s gonna be what i do have finished from it. the bullet points include pointless little quotes from other things and i will give bonus points ( ??? ) if you can tell me where they’re from tbh. idk man im just a nerd. but so is gowan so it’s okay?
raised in equal parts by a mother who deserved better and a brother who knew better, gowan’s father was conveniently absent – all he has is the last name. sometimes he claims to be the bastard son of one of the kennedy’s, but that's probably bullshit. he could have asked to see the birth certificate at eighteen but didn’t ( a. respect for his mother, b. the hassle, c. isn’t it better to believe he is ? you can’t do that when you know )
people were sure he was going places. in school things came naturally, he barely studied and slid by easily. sent on scholarship to a university that will remain nameless ( please, don’t talk about it in front of him ) but when things didn’t CLICK he panicked. everyone had always praised him on how smart he was, he didn’t know what to do when he wasn’t anymore.
two years later and he’s giving various excuses for dropping out of college ( flunking out ? being asked to leave ? ) .. so what. [ ’ i dropped out, smoked a lot of dope … not because of tahlia but because i’m unmotivated, or whatever. ’ ] excuses that, while built on grains of truth, were there to cover up what he couldn’t say, because letting people down by choice? well, somehow, that’s easier than not being able to live up to what they thought you were.blame it on weed, blame in on girls, blame it on yourself – just don’t let them think this was their fault, that they could have somehow done you better.
the west side’s golden child, the prodigy of sixteenth street, was gone. no more high hopes of law school, of buying his momma that nice cape cod in the suburbs ( the one she would finally get to decorate with the clippings from better homes & gardens ). but his intelligence wasn’t, he was still smart as a whip. he could do better than delivering pizza for giordano’s, but trying is the first step to letting people down.
picked up computers as a hobbie in high school. after college ( or the lack there of ) they became a means of survival. they were one of the few things that still came naturally to the boy [ ’ it’s all just logic and english comprehension, really. ’ ] and getting involved in gang activity in the west side isn’t exactly difficult. he’s a dealer, but the junkies are looking for information, and the west side doesn��t house his only clients. nice men ( ones will real suits, not button downs underneath sweatshirts ) from the north side will pay a good bit of money for what he can find [ ’ i don't quit. i pound mountain dew, oreos and adderall, and i don’t sleep until it’s done ’ ].
now he lives by himself in a cheap basement apartment [ ' last owners left it smelling like cheap beer and sweat, and only half the lights actually turn on ' ] but has dinner with his mother every tuesday. the one room flat is decorated cheaply [ ' decked out mi casa for y2k ! ... you guys know it's gon'na be the end of the world right? ' ], and looks more like a teenager's bedroom then anything actually hi tech -- including the rig on the trash picked desk across from the futon he calls a bed.
if you want to see the wip intro page that’s here ( xx ) and there’s like extended aesthetics, connection ideas, random info ( definition of halt and catch fire cause its weirdly fitting?? a random collection of songs he plays in his car?? stuff about gowan you never knew you needed cause you probably don’t )
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