#I mean it's after that but it's still related so

[runningwithscizzorz]

So, the twin shittens were born from Nour's chest, what about the third shitten?(i forgot her name). I remember a post of yours that said that the crown changes the ways of life conception, child-bearing and child-birth, but I'm very curious how the youngest of the siblings were carried

Esha was conceived in the conventional non-greek mythology related way. The Lamb was convinced that besides the demonic intervention of the crown using Narinder's seed when he was still a god of death, that they couldn't carry children.

WRONG, they can! Just as long as it's another god's seed and not a mortal's. In fact with Narinder being the god of fertility and life, their pregnancy was unnaturally fast and they were able to have their third baby after only two months.

I mean, it was a mostly normal pregnancy. Besides when Nour was going through labor and accidentally killed two of the nurses attempting to hack the baby out of their body with the sharpest survival tools they could find. A set of stupid doodles below the cut⬇️

[leam1983]

As a Canadian, and as someone living in a country that has a UBI framework, I think a lot of people misunderstand just how basic Universal Basic Income is.

TL;DR: I agree on principle, but identifying greed as a problem doesn't solve deeper systemic issues.

I see some armchair social theorists on here say that UBI is enough to fight more pressing social battles; that it empowers you to demand better rights as a worker, as a citizen. I've been on UBI and, well - no. UBI is enough to allow you to survive. If you want to invest in a project, if there's a worthwhile cause you want to get involved in that requires some involvement or some capital injection (even something as simple as buying supplies to fashion picketing signs) - that's on you. In Canada, UBI is calculated based on median income, which means that it isn't enough to kickstart some people's Post-Work-Era Roddenberry-Powered Magical Socialism where nobody works and everyone contributes out of sheer passion and drive.

UBI is there so you can survive, and so you can eventually have the resources and skillsets needed to contribute to Society without UBI lining your pockets. More importantly, UBI is there to ensure that there are no "bad jobs" to speak of, because even the fast food joint's janitor who's on Minimum Wage starts with better conditions than a UBI beneficiary. In Canada, a kid with no diploma who makes a living manning a Tim Hortons' cash register doesn't have to fight with the system to obtain credits related to his living conditions. The real problem has three prongs:

Welfare kings and queens who make it harder for legitimate demands of financial assistance to go through;

The corporate world that's forgotten that the very first rung past UBI needs to be 100% livable and needs to allow for at least some measure of savings to be something that can be planned for. UBI should facilitate survival, what happens when even minimum wage doesn't allow you to live right?

Slum lords who buy off properties initially set aside for Affordable Housing programs and who drive market values so far high that entry-level workers have to settle with living several hours away from their place of work.

But Sweden and Norway - Hold it. Sweden and Norway are filthy fucking rich. Sweden and Norway are Petrostates. Canada? Not so much. Year after year sees Affordable Living programs or revisions to UBI being floated that would turn it from a lifeline to an actually workable form of remuneration, but year after year sees my local politicians butt their heads against the fact that any kind of serious Social Security net can't just pay for itself; and Canadians are already sadly renowned for living in a country choked by taxes - all because our already-present pro-Social infrastructure is complex, inefficient and sadly vital for most low-income residents.

Imagine how insane implementing it would be on a per-State level, on the American side. Imagine the work that needs to be done; not just in terms of greater education, but also in the sense that there's an entire infrastructure you guys never put in place. Some of my colleagues are American expats, and their first big shock came in the form of their first tax bill on Canadian soil. Free healthcare isn't free, the load is just spread across the country's residents. It also means that UBI and Free Healthcare programs can only cover so much, seeing as even if you put the load primarily on those above a certain income level, those below it are still going to feel the pinch. God knows I do, every tax season, and even if it's for a fundamentally good cause.

So. Beyond harping that UBI is a basic right and that we all deserve to rest, ask yourself how wealthy your State is, first. Try and model the kind of help you'd be getting. Try projecting it as a deferred hit on your salary or your savings - one that you need to account for year after year, forever.

The social model where none of us work and all of us effectively play with shelter and rest being in-built facets of our social contract would require a total upheaval of our current system - and something tells me most people wouldn't like the transitional period between the two. Would people really maintain power stations or work hospitals just because it's the right thing to do?

Call me cynical, but I've been alive long enough to really, really, seriously doubt that logic. Sooner or later, someone's going to want to look out for Number One. The USSR fell for that very reason, and my own country's very pro-Social policies are rife with examples of what happens when someone with good intentions gets unfettered access to a chequebook, supposedly for the good of all. Remuneration is a great control system, in that respect, especially when we know that in an Egalitarian system, there's always going to be one or two chucklefucks who think they're more Egalitarian than the rest.

Greed is in all of us; the only thing that keeps you or me honest is our lack of power. Money, as they say, is the root of all Evil. Remove money from the equation and something else will take its place. Social status, most likely.

Then let's make all of us equal! Communism FTW!

you're likely American if you're reading this, how do you think most people will react to that kind of assertion?

even in an ideal system, the Overseer would have more power. That, right there, is enough of an imbalance for unfair treatment to surface.

Again, we've seen what happened with Soviet Russia, and I'm not saying this to be a bootlicker. Open a history book: Lenin barely managed to approximate Marx's idea of an Egalitarian state and Stalin identified the cracks in the system and pushed them wide open, priming it for collapse.

UBI needs to happen. via antiwork

[northopalshore]

Are you familiar with Ascendant Persona Charts?

♀ Ascendant persona charts are very interesting. It's like an extended version of your personality, in the eyes of the people around you. But also, you can sort of see the signs features manifest onto your appearance. I think it's really fun to look at lmao.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Though I've noticed that in some charts, they tend to manifest later in life. Like after said person gains some sort of consciousness or after a particular phase. In all reality however, it's exactly what you'd expect it to be. The extended version of your single, the one that comes before the album lmao.

╔════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ════════╗

In my asc pc, I'm a Taurus rising (°8 Scorpio). Destinn (°28 cancer) & Briede (°29 leo) are also here. It probably means I'll be perceived as a wifey somewhere down the line. Though I sure as hell ain't just my FS's wife. You'll see what I mean lmao. I'm a diva in my own right.

╚════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ════════╝

I love going into persona charts since there's always this added layer of depth into your identity. You're a multilayered cake! I'm not calling you an onion even if it's tempting. I ain't Shrek. 🎂

Should I do an analysis on my ascendant persona chart as a guide? If you look at my asc pc, then the existence of my blog & my interest aren't a surprise lmao especially with that 11th house stellium & venus, groom in the 10th house. I'll add other examples as well.

Michael Jackson:

Is an Aquarius rising (°3 Gemini) in his asc persona chart. He has both Chiron (°23 aquarius ) & Briede (°28 cancer) in Aquarius here, as well as Sun (°10 Capricorn ), Boda (°2 Taurus) & Europa (°0) in Pisces.

He's literally a star lmao. A woman's man, if you will. Women tend to trust him instinctively, he himself has always been more of a lover. The spirit of a lover that is.

Although, this would also explain his erratic behaviour at times. Having to battle his emotions at the same time trying to gain control of any public situation he was ever in. It's not media training, it's media manipulation. He grew up in front of the camera so his public persona is his second skin.

In his natal chart, his ascendant is Pisces (°10 Capricorn) with Moon (°14 Taurus) , Mireille & Lilith (°21 Sagittarius).

He's been bullied and shamed for his appearance, people always had something to say when it comes to how he should and shouldn't act or look like. He's also been openly insecure about how he looks because of his sickness & vitiligo.

However, no one can deny that his looks will forever be framed as an iconic part of pop culture history. Hell, in all of modern history. The King of Pop is never seen without an outfit that would outshine all who stand next to him.

It also mirrors his facial structures. I've heard that a badly aspected Mercury or 7th house ruler could be related to vitiligo in vedic astrology, but I'm not exactly sure. I'm not well versed in medical astrology either, but I wonder if aquarius might have some sort of effect as well since he has a LOT of aquarius here.

He's one fine mf tho. Even after all this time, he's still adored by many fans, old & new.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Hope this was interesting! Did I somehow make it about MJ again? Yes. Yes I did.

[fuck-customers]

This whole situation just does not sit right with me.

I witnessed the situation and this is what I saw from my perspective:

The register line was a bit long and a young black girl (I think this is relevant in relation to the way the other woman reacted, as I will explain in a sec) seemingly decided that whatever she was waiting in line for was not worth the wait and since she was 2nd in line, just moved towards the front to the register to reach the exit doors, saying "excuse me/excuse me, can I get through?" multiple times to the older white woman in front of her, who did not move. (This I did hear and even spoke up to ask the older white woman to let her through)

The older white woman (I'd estimate she was in her 50s or 60s) either didn't hear her or purposely refused to move over, so the younger girl had to awkwardly squeeze by her doing that side-shuffle thing.

Then the older woman starts screaming at the young woman (who was probably 18-25) and calling her a thief and claiming that the girl's hand was in her purse and that she was trying to steal.

Just throwing out my personal biased opinion, I think the older woman was completely full of shit and was either racist, a Karen wanting attention, or both. Either way, I had to do my customer service shtick and humor her.

So I asked the older lady to please take a moment to look through her bag and confirm whether or not anything was missing, while I called for my manager.

These next 2 things are what really did not sit well with me. The manager comes up, I briefly explain the situation, she also asks the woman to confirm her belongings, during which the woman herself confirmed that there was nothing missing from her bag, but still insisted on pressing charges. (How? We don't know who the girl was and I don't think she could be accurately identified from the security cameras. Also, somehow in the confusion someone said she was an employee at my store? She was not.) The woman confirming that nothing was missing, but still wanted to press charges seemed sus to me, but I could write that off as a Karen Karenning.

The part that really left a bad taste and made me lose a lot of respect for her, was after the whole situation was settled and my manager got the Karen's contact info and assured her that she'd get the security footage and yadda, yadda, yadda, and the woman left the store. My manager asked me to recall the situation as I saw it, which I retold the story and emphasized that I did not actually witness the girl stealing or even having her hand in the woman's purse. My manager starts parroting the woman's story to me as if she witnessed it, saying "no her hand was IN HER BAG" How do you know? You were on the far opposite side of the store. You didn't witness shit. We're alone now, you don't have to keep playing customer service, so that means you actually believe a crime that you did not witness?

I didn't have a lot of respect for my manager before this, but this just squashed the last drop of respect I did have for her.

My personal belief is that the younger black girl simply wanted to get out of line and unfortunately chose to squeeze by the wrong white woman and I think the white woman saw an opportunity to play the victim and was possibly a racist herself and get attention like a Karen and seized the opportunity. I do not believe anything was stolen (as the white woman herself confirmed) and the older white woman simply wanted to make a scene to get attention because she was bored or hard up for attention.

Posted by admin Rodney

[zeehasablog]

The Yellow Wallpaper

Based on the short story written by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, The Yellow Wallpaper is short story, written as first person journal entries. The narrator is experiencing severe depression after the birth of a child, and her husband rents a home for the Summer, with hopes she can recover. She is confined to an upstairs nursery, where we find The Yellow Wallpaper.

As a form of treatment, the husband forbids the journal writer from working or writing, and encourages her to eat well and get plenty of air so that she can recuperate from what he calls a "temporary nervous depression – a slight hysterical tendency", a common diagnosis in women at the time. (wiki)

Of course, she still writes; as she descends into madness, obsessing about the wallpaper, which appears to pull her in. Seeing a woman creeping through it.

At night in any kind of light, in twilight, candlelight, lamplight, and worst of all by moonlight, it becomes bars! The outside pattern I mean, and the woman behind it is as plain as can be. I didn’t realize for a long time what the thing was that showed behind,—that dim sub-pattern,—but now I am quite sure it is a woman... It is always the same shape, only very numerous. And it is like a woman stooping down and creeping about behind that pattern.

SO; here, we have the beautifully created pattern by @femmefatalegoth, inspired by the wallpaper described above. See if you can find the women in its intricacy.

I have added cornices and wainscotting, and a version with cornice and baseboard only.

I really didn't want to change the colour of the wallpaper , because it's The Yellow Wallpaper. So; sorry, not sorry, to those who want it in different colours - but feel free to do it yourself if you know how!

Unfortunately, due to limitations on how the wallpaper is made up in the game, I've had to do separate files to each type of cornice & wainscot:

I added the feature to make Sims tense when they're around the wallpaper. I tested it, and my Sim didn't get tense - so either it doesn't work, or my Sim was too cheerful to get tense 😂

Anyway - I hope you like these as much as I LOVE them! The colour is very bright, and it really helps you feel like the narrator in The Yellow Wallpaper.

I highly recommend reading the story. Maybe you can relate it to how you have felt at some time - I certainly have.

Download via my Patreon here!

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

The only way i could see Canon Katara interested on Zuko is if he somehow did his Heel Turn long before the start of the show and has become a freedom fighter akin to Jet, but without the murder.

Obviously, this is impossible, there is no way that a young Zuko could become a better person without his exile, his enviroment is just not place that encourage

Sorry for the last question i send, i made a mistake and send it sooner than i wanted.

But anyway, what i tried to say that, even if that ridiculous scenario that i propossed where to happen, Zuko would be a very different characther from his Canon self. Plus even if he has become Katara's type, there is no way to know if Katara would be Zuko's type on that scenario lol

***

Once again, guys: pre-scar and exile Zuko was already dealing with a ton of bagagge, and post-redemption Zuko was already a "freedom fighter but without the murder." Katara saw him at this worst during all of book one, at his somewhat less of dick moments (Ba Sing Se), and at his best after his redemption - and she wasn't attracted to him at any of these points.

"I don't support war, genocide and/or murder" is the bare minimum for Katara to not want somebody dead. Compassion is an obligation, not something that immediately makes a guy be a potential boyfriend in her eyes.

We have the answer of what would take for her to be into Zuko, and that answer is not "He can't be a villain anymore" but rather "He can't be Zuko." He can't be a dork that says the wrong thing in a funny way, she'd get mad. He can't want to live in the Fire Nation, there's nothing there for her. He can't be as stubborn as she is, otherwise they're gonna fight (just look at how many times she fights with Toph). He can't take himself too seriously, she'll just mock him for it (ask Sokka).

She wants the guy that literally sweeps her off her feet to charm her, or the guy that notices she's feeling left out at a party, dances with her, and smoothly tells her to ignore everyone's eyes on them because "it's just you and me." She would NOT react well to a guy that screams "SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" in the middle of their date (just see how well it worked for Aang when he went "I mean, if it was between kissing you and dying")

And we do know what Zuko's type is: Mai. Gloomy yet sweet, bitchy yet unbothered, out-spoken yet doesn't feel she owes anybody any explanations ever, can handle herself but likes being pampered, apathetic yet caring, has nothing prove yet can be quite arrogant, stubborn yet understanding, aloof to the world in general yet obviously crazy about him in particular.

Zuko might catch brief feelings for someone like Jin (nice, sweet and cheery), but long-term he needs someone as messy as himself so he can relate, but with the kind of mess that balances him out instead of encouraging his worst traits - the yin to his yang. He was not kidding when he said "You're so beautiful when you hate the world"

Katara loves life in general too much for her and Zuko to relate to each other in that regard. She doesn't even know what the word "apathy" means. She doesn't have an "unbothered" bone in her body. Girl went through a ton of trauma and still wasn't anywhere near gloomy, quite the contrary. And she has a bad temper, just like Zuko, which they both know is a bad combo, hence them surrounding themselves with more chill people (Aang, Iroh, Hakoda, Mai, etc).

They're not each other's type AT ALL, hence there being no spark when they become friends. Hence them being not just embarassed, but weirded our and uncomfortable when people mistake them for a couple.

There's a reason zutara fics re-write their personalities completely: there's no other way to force them together because they're fundamentally incompatible. The real Zuko would NEVER be attracted to the real Katara, and vice versa.

[lonely-night]

Introducing new character to the Myka Ex-Girlfriend Cinematic Universe, Helen Ryan (played by the lovely Kathryn Hahn) was Myka's gay-awakening slash first serious girlfriend during college. Although their relationship didn't last long, it was certainly memorable for both of them (more back story here).

Fast forward to now (post-Instinct), HG has returned to the Warehouse as an agent. However, Myka and HG were not on good terms. During their first mission together to retrieve a witchcraft related artifact, they ran into Helen. Helen and Myka both were surprised to see each other after many years. Helen took one look and caught a whiff of the tension between Myka and HG and decided to cause some mischiefs.

Helen: What the hell, Myka? Where have you been? I haven't heard from you for what? Ten years? Myka: I know. I am sorry. It's just, you know, work's been busy. Speaking of work, let me ask you some questions real quick then you can go. Helen: Sure. Go ahead. Myka: Did you smell fudge recently? Helen: ... that's standard Secret Service question? Myka: I know it's weird, but seriously, did you? Helen: Uh... no. I don't think so. I mean I did pass by a ice cream parlor few days ago, they sold chocolate fudge there. Myka: Right. *flipping through the file* Helen: Wanna try it? It's delicious. Please don't tell me you still don't eat sugar. Myka: *chuckles* Yep. *continue reading the file* Helen: You are no fun. Hey, how about we go hang out? Myka: I don't know, Hel. Maybe later. Still got work to do. Helen: C'mon, Bering. I haven't see you in ages. I've missed you. Myka: Gosh, I don't know. Helen: Just you and me, like old times? *looking up at Myka through her long eyelashes* I will buy you a drink. Myka: Alright, fine. *laughs* Just one drink. Helen: Scout's honor. Myka: *laughs* You're not even in scout. HG, witnessing this interaction:

[currentfandomkick]

It is very important to me that Dan casually comments about how he killed them prior everytime they break ghost ettiquette as summoners and that slowly find out Dan is the Royal Wraith, while Danny is a guardian of boundaries and entryways due to what he chose to focus on in his afterlife.

Make it worse with Dan’s commentary of ‘aw, i was wondering when you’d pull this fuck up again. Always reap what you sow Batshit. Think thats why i took the metal keeping your spine intact last time. Your horror was tasty, especially when you were cut off from all tech to warn your kids. Oracle was a bitch to find, and the mute on guarding her was a fun fight too!’

Just let Dan trigger everyone’s fight or flight every time they make demands for anything by bringing up what they realize he did on another earth, in explicit and excruciating detail.

Hell, you can have had the Green Lanterns getting help from Oa and not getting back in time with the energy from the rings being akin to ‘takes up space but nothing of substance’ version of ectoplasm as its pure will not emotionally charged.

Dan is just matching energy on his side. He’s been bored and these fucknuggets made a point to have his ‘got the better timeline’ self relive their fucking death as the first question post semi-botched and painful summoning. And then tried to force that out of him with haphazard runes that ran on the summoner’s world view? They are getting trauma in return for doing the equivalent of throwing a steaming pile of shit at his face on top of jumping him in a back alley mid-panic attack.

He was enjoying reminiscing.

Important note: every JL member present gets similar responses no matter the question. Dan ain’t saying g shit but dishing out truama.

It is important to me that Martian Manhunter is exempt as he would have stopped this when Danny came in and was Distressed from haphazard summoning and in Pain. So he’s on earth or offworld, just not in the JL tower this is happening in.

If a JLD member catches them while they are midsummon interrogations, let it be Zatanna (was a JL pre JLD in the cartoon, so why not?) and have her be the one to silence the JL and ask Dan what caused him to be sent when the summons asked for the king.

And this? This is where JL get context for the degree of how badly they botched any relations with GK!Danny.

Zatanna is pissed they did this sans JLD member to keep their manners in check, and makes apologies and asks what type of reparations would be accepted by the Ghost King Phantom, watcher of the veil, patron of the Veilborn and reborn, and he who holds the line.

Dan straight up says SHE is allowed to summon himself again after they handle the Ghost Investigation Ward, who are kidnapping and tormenting Infinite Realm denizens, forcibly making vielreborn (liminals) and overall using them as experiment fodder with the intentions to destroy the IR and will take out the mortal realms with them.

The silence from the JL is loud.

Zatanna asks if that issue is why Dan hasn’t left the summon circle, given he can leave as it was not made for him.

“My baby bro asked me to handle this. These assholes went after his death, and the Realms are still out for more than blood after the shit that’s been pulled. I don’t care if this mortal plane goes, but for some unfathomable reason, he does. I’m still team obliteration beforehand and let the vengeance-centric and those who lost fright-mates do worse than take back a pound of flesh for each drop ectoplasm they spilled.”

“That is understandable once and no longer ghost king,” Zatanna phrased carefully. “I am glad you have given us an avenue of actionable apology within our means. Are there any you wish to exclude from this mission?”

“Martian Manhunter—he doesn’t need to see that shit. The rest better get firsthand of what was going down, and better get now why i was sent after these fuckers ignored every diplomatic rule. If anyone else tries to summon my brother that isn’t you, i’ll be coming and i won’t be staying in the circle.”

“Understood!”

prompt for dcxdp fic

GK!danny meets the JL and (due to magic users not being in the room) they offend him by threatening/patronising him or asking insensitive questions like how he died. Danny still wants some contact/alliance to help deal with the GIW, but doesn't wanna deal with mortal idiots rn. So he sends Dan in his place for his "community service" aka redemption arc.

Basically I really wanna see Dan dealing with the magically incompetent league and scare the shit out of them.

Bonus if Danny sends a letter along the lines of "Due to negative prior relations and differing priorities, all further communications will be conducted via my brother, as part of his mandatory community service. I advise against angering him, as he is on probation for genocide of a mortal realm. Good luck."

I just think it would be funny.

[p-h-a-n-t-a]

I tend to fixate on evan as a character at times because his whole shtick is that hes mysterious and has issues tm, but also because i have also been the haunted (literally spoke to ghosts as a child) ass white kid (white) suffering from food insecurity (yall ever have a mustard sandwich, its bread heels with mustard on them. Thats how i learned to like mustard.) So i relate to him quite a bit.

But, i cant help but be deeply curious about the other misfits and their lives, struggles, and their mysteries.

I frequently work with kids like Jammer (ive been christened with a nickname by middleschoolers. Its Shawty DooBop. Im glad its that and not "that mean ass librarian") and I wonder what his life is like on a day to day basis. Did he pick his sister up from her after school program? How long has he been writing? A lot of kids I know, no matter how much they like the sports they play, were originally put into them by parents hoping they could be something great, but what would he want to be if he wanted to be something different? Did he ever read the maximum ride series? Does he actually like dragon ball Z or is it more of a cultural osmosis thing?

K is deeply relatable to me on a number of levels (nonbinary tumblrina) but also deeply alien. Do they talk to their family at all? Do they feel remorse for cyber bullying people over steven universe? Do they get mad at themself when they have to remember people cant just be tropes, they also have to be people? Even themself? When will they go to therapy????

Sam black, britain, butler my beloved. Fellow child of divorce, how much did that influence your comunication? How long has being an influencer been her focus? Does she actually want to inluence, or does she just want friends? She struggled in school, did anyone ever try to help? Would it have been better or worse to be on an iep plan? Does she still talk to her family much now that shes famous, is it out of love, or out of that family wanting her support and her energy? How has T2 stayed a teacup pig? Those usually grow into potbelly pigs of some sort. Does she feel like her magic has actually hampered her ability to connect with others because she is so easily liked? What were the sailor moon forums like, what happened after your pink pal stopped liking pink?

Also to the magic mommy of all time, what was Bombini's life like? A 600+ year old wizard who seems to have lost everything dear to him and is upholding the memory of people long lost built on foundations that were crumbling from the start. Dudes middle name is kyle. He seems like a paralell to our sad ass white boy, if they had decided to uphold the nature of magic and the old ways, would evan have become like him? A shuffling, sad, impossibly old steward? Also whats happening on tadershacourt. Whos the shadow man with Khan.

God i have so many questions, im deeply glad misfits and magic got a season 2 but i do think it has just given me more to be insane about. I managed this with only 4 eps and a holiday special, im gonna explode. Truely the tumblr coded series of all time.

[pro-birth]

I have a weird relationship with the age-related infertility discussions. Does aging affect fertility? Absolutely. But are you doomed to never or not likely get pregnant if you "wait too long"...? That's where the conversation gets complicated, but no one seems to understand why it's complicated, let alone admit that it's not ever simple.

You see, it can take 7 or more years for a woman with endo, PCOS, etc to get diagnosed and properly treated for it. This means that her teen and young adult years are spent festering her undiagnosed complications until she reaches her 30s or so, and not only has perimenopuase to worry about, but her untreated disease(s) also. These compounding factors, obviously, makes it hard to get and stay pregnant.

And that doesn't even get into how terrible treatment is! Even when endo/PCOS/etc ARE diagnosed early on, they are --- surprise! --- given HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL to "treat" it. At best, you get mild BC side effects while the condition never gets better, and you still struggle later on. At worst, you have someone with: severe nutritional deficiencies, wrecked gut and mental health, and other health risks that make pregnancy difficult to achieve down the road (or increase maternal health risks even if she does get pregnant).

Is age a factor? Yes. But assuming the woman is healthy and properly taken care of, it's a factor that shouldn't raise alarms. It may take longer for her to get pregnant, but a woman in her 30s and even 40s can achieve a full term pregnancy with the right support and knowledge. After all, women in the past traditionally had their last child in their EARLY FORTIES.

The issue is that everyone looks at age and nothing else. They don't question why it takes so long for female reproductive diseases to get treated and addressed. They don't question why fertility awareness is continually suppressed by the medical establishment. They don't question why women struggle to be taken seriously by their care provider.

I guess for them, it's easier to gaslight and shame women than to address the system that allows infertility to fester to begin with.

[sockatoothewafflebird]

u prolly have already but pls i want in depth yap abt caitvi in arc3 and how they heal :)

oh anon i have NOT yapped about how they heal. not in detail at least. so here we go. there's not a lot that hasn't been said about them, but i'd like to put my perspective into the ring just because. as an eldest sister and as a lesbian i can relate to vi in a lot of ways.

i think my main takeaway for caitvi in act 3 is how they're both human, in the ways they love and in the ways they fight. arcane is a show that respects its audience and trusts us to be able to read between the lines and i appreciate how you can see every little detail of the words they're not saying if you look close enough.

in The Scene especially you can see just how real theyre being... im not gonna dwell on it, but by the skin of my teeth and the bones in my knees they LOVE each other. you can see it so clearly.

caitlyn walks in on vi questioning everything she is. violet legit just let her sister slip from her fingers, again. i cannot tell you how many times i've felt guilty when my sister or brother are hurt or do something wrong, even if i had no part in it. i cannot imagine how much it would hurt to lose them and keep going only because of the possibility of finding them again, and then when i finally do find then they're ripped from my arms. and it happens more than once. i would be in the same place vi is. blaming herself for all of it. making the burden of protecting her sister all hers and no one else's. wondering whether or not she's doing the right thing at all. (cough coughh petra minecraft is that you)

as stressful as they can be sometimes they're my siblings and i'd do anytning for them. and with the kind of person vi is, for her that means punching whoever's in the way. doing whatever she can. she has a big heart and she's never lost it.

after caitlyn basically dumped her in the most entitled way possible vi had nothing left. no one to protect and nothing to fight for. so she fought just for the sake of fighting. after getting her family back and losing them again (holy ballsockets she was put through the wringer) all she had was cait even if cait hurt her. i think even if cait never did anytbing to make it up to her, she would have stayed, because vi needs an anchor.

caitlyn's hurt a lot of people directly or indirectly. she grew up priveleged and stayed that way, never truly seeing exactly how much pain people are going through until it's too late to turn back. caitlyn's arc is a very interesting one because she never says the words "i'm sorry". she never tells vi that what she did was wrong and that she wants to fix it. but she does things that prove her remorse.

caitlyn works with vi in the end of act 2. i think this is partially because she was already skeptical of ambessa from the start, and partially because she wanted to find a way to make it up to her. caitlyn doesn't fold as soon as vi calls her cupcake, that's not what the look is. The Look is her thinking, "wait, does she not hate me? why did she call me her term of endearment even after everything i've done?"

in act 3, caitlyn takes all the guards out of the prison, because she knew vi would try to rescue her sister. in the words of another post i forgot to save (deepest apologies to the op of that one), vi could have taken jinx and ran. caitlyn might have never seen her again and she let that happen anyway. and cait even went to the cell to check to see if her theory was true, and lo and behold it was. and vi failed at trying to save her sister. again.

what does caitlyn do? she tells vi that she relieved the prison of the guards because of her. all confident and sultry and commanding like she knows what she's doing.

and then when they're getting into it caitlyn frantically pulls away. she realizes that, yeah, she still needs to make things right. she tries to be honest, tell vi that she saw someone else, and vi just reassures her and keeps going. i think thisnis because 1) vi wants the cupcake, who wouldn't, and 2) she's... not exactly forgiving, that needs more work- but she's showing her appreciation for caitlyn here. caitlyn did something huge for her, she let her break a prisoner out which could have dire consequences for both of them.

i think vi just absolutely smothering cait is also a way to show that even though cait hurt her physically as well as emotionally, she's gone past that. if vi hadn't at least given some thought about cait's actions she would not let this happen, i don't think, unless she's super desperate. this proves that vi is starting to move on and cait is starting to revert back to that sputtering stuttering pinned-to-a-wall-flustered woman she was in season one- that's the woman vi fell in love with, after all... and that woman is battered and bruised and has plenty of sins to stone for. but that woman is not dead.

The Scene in the cell is both them being desperate and them showing their love for each other without words. caitlyn's hand lingers on vi's injury, maybe about to utter an apology, but vi cuts her off anyway. there's SO many little things here gaughehgjf.

and in the end of the show, when caitlyn looks into the hexgates in her family's archives, she looks because vi probably asked her to. vi wanted to be sure. she looked because she cares about vi. whether or not she'll tell vi about this is an interesting thought- i don't think she would. it would undermine jinx's sacrifice.

jinx walked away so she could move on. so piltover could move on. so zaun could move on. so vi could move on. and caitlyn telling vi that she's alive would ruin the steps they've taken towards healing.

i think vi's main problem was dedicating her life to her sister and nothing else. and caitlyn's was just her exploiting a broken system and mever recognizing her faults. vi starts to heal because now that her sister is truly gone to her, she can move away from the past and build her own future. and now that caitlyn's fully realized her mistakes she can take steps towards changing piltover for the better. GAHH i love complicated sapphics especially when there's sapphic joy after all the suffering....

this was all written in one sitting so apologies if it's messy, and i've sort of compiled some other ideas and theories i've seen in here too; but yeah, these are my thoughts on caitvi in season 2. i think they could've been fleshed out a bit more, but overall their relationship is legendary. i'll never stop loving them. caitvi supremacy people 💪

[cipher26]

Arcane Brain Dump 1/? | Jinx & Caitlyn

There were a lot of things I wanted to see in the finale that I didn't get, which wasn't surprising knowing there wasn't much time. But one thing that I really wanted and didn't actually expect to get was a 1 on 1 conversation with Jinx and Caitlyn. I was so excited when it was happening, because I felt like it was necessary for both characters to talk with each other, especially after episode 6 when they're suddenly fighting on the same side, and where they COULD have become family if it hadn't all gone to shit.

Before the season started I didn't think there was any hope for Jinx and Caitlyn to actually reconcile. Like, I thought at best Cait might stop hunting her for Vi's sake, but would still hate her. But then Isha came along and Jinx changed so much, and Caitlyn was isolated and depressed and tired, and I thought "hmm maybe they can get past the feud?" Unfortunately I guess we'll never know for sure, but I really do think that conversation was step 1 for them getting along. It was so interesting to see because you can see that Caitlyn is still in pain about her loss, but it's also been enough time since then, and so much has happened that the rage she was feeling in the beginning of the season has fizzled out. Which is relatable. It's exhausting to keep up that kind of hatred for someone, especially if they change in the way that Jinx did. The Jinx in that cell in front of Caitlyn was a completely different person than the one who kidnapped her out of the shower and killed her mother. I think that seeing Jinx with Isha and Vi and Vander also showed Caitlyn how much had changed. Because even from her first meeting with Jinx, there was tension between her and Vi. Jinx held a gun up to Vi's face in that first meeting, and was instantly aggressive towards Caitlyn. But in that tent with the whole family, Jinx didn't even care that Caitlyn was there. If anything she seemed kind of smug, because Caitlyn still thinks of her as an enemy but Jinx just saved her life. It's almost like a game, like what can Caitlyn do now? She lost some of her argument about Jinx being evil. Also, in that moment she can't do anything even if she wanted to. I saw a lot of people talking about how it didn't make sense that Caitlyn was suddenly fine with Jinx and didn't try to kill her. Which is silly because first of all, Caitlyn didn't have her weapon, she left it in the tent with Vi and Vi hadn't returned yet. So she couldn't really do anything. Also they just watched Beast Vander throw this huge man out the side of the building to protect his daughter, so if Caitlyn tries to hurt Jinx in any way she's absolutely gonna get torn to pieces. And then immediately after that everything starts to go to shit, and Vi is there, and they have other things to worry about in that moment. Especially once Ambessa starts attacking. It's a shame that we didn't also get to see the immediate aftermath of the battle with Cait, Jinx, and Jayce rushing Vi to safety. I mean idk how far Piltover is from the fissure, but it's not a fast journey lol. The three of them together must have been interesting, especially since Caitlyn hasn't seen Jayce in however many months it's been since before the time skip. Another thing I was sad to not see actually, was Cait and Jayce's reunion and Cait being like "wtf happened to you? where have you been?!" Alas...

Anyway, I'm glad they gave us that prison scene with the two of them. They just came out and addressed their issue, realized how different things were, and both kind of chose to move on. I mean Jinx is devastated and suicidal, she's completely given up, and also she's still the good person that Isha helped her become. Jinx has no reason to hate Caitlyn. The only thing Caitlyn's done to Jinx is hunt her after Jinx murdered her mother. And because Jinx wants to die, she tells Caitlyn to just do it. Except Caitlyn's changed too. She's tired of fighting, and the kid in front of her (cause Jinx is a kid...) looks as sad and tired as she feels. Even more so. It wasn't a long conversation, but I think it was just what they needed to hear from each other, and what the audience needed to hear. Caitlyn admits that her hatred for Jinx changed her in ways that made her hate herself, and she didn't want to be like that anymore. And then Jinx comes pretty much as close as she's gonna get to apologizing to Caitlyn for killing her mom. She doesn't say the words "I'm sorry," but when she says "I didn't know your mom was there" it kind of does feel like an apology. Or at the very least, I think it's Jinx telling Caitlyn that it wasn't personal. She wasn't trying to hurt Caitlyn specifically, she was trying to hurt the system that had oppressed and neglected her home for so long. And in that moment, she was too filled with grief over Silco to hold back.

So I think that conversation really brings some closure to both of them. They kind of get past their feud and just move on. There are so many other things to worry about now, and so many bad things have happened. And in the process of rushing Vi back to Piltover, I imagine it helped each of them see how much the other loves Vi. And I think that loving Vi is part of the motivation to put it behind them. Vi would never forgive Jinx if she killed Caitlyn, or hurt her. And now, despite what Vi told Cait before their first fight, I think Cait knows Vi would never forgive her if she hurt or killed Jinx. They both do what they do in the end of that episode FOR Vi. Jinx runs and locks Vi in the cage so Vi can't follow her, and she tells Vi that she deserves to be happy without feeling guilty, and specifically tells Vi she deserves to be with Cait. I mean that's a HUGE deal. Especially since Vi wasn't present for the journey back from the fissures, so she didn't actually see Cait and Jinx working together. In her mind they're still at square 1 for the most part.

And then Caitlyn goes and calls the guards away so that Vi can free Jinx, knowing she'll do so. I've seen a lot of people confused about Cait's line "did you really think I needed all of the enforcers at the Hexgates?" which is fair because I was also confused at first lol. But what Caitlyn is telling Vi, is that she knew VI would come to free her sister, so she did what she could to clear the way for Vi to be able to do that. She's basically telling Vi in that moment that she's moved past her anger enough to let Jinx go, and to stop hunting her. It's such a freeing moment for Vi, because the two people she loves the most, who were furiously trying to kill each other before, have finally made peace. It takes a huge weight off of Vi's shoulders, no longer having to be stuck between two people she loves who hate each other. And Jinx has just told her "go get your girl" and now Caitlyn is standing there smugly telling her that she basically let Jinx go. That's why Vi reacts the way she does, it's such a relief to be past that conflict and have permission from both of them to be happy.

Anyway, I thought it was a great moment, and even though it wasn't a long conversation between Cait and Jinx, I think it's exactly what they both needed. It was the closure they needed to move on. If Jinx had stayed around, they still would have had more work to do surely before they actually got along well, but it was suddenly possible after that talk. And I hope that in the continuation of this story that they finally get there someday. Because based on the ending I really don't think Jinx is dead. And Caitlyn is holding Jinx's monkey bomb in her hand, contemplating and looking up the Hexgate plans. She has to be looking to see if there was any way Jinx could have escaped, probably because Vi is devastated and she wants to help take that hurt away. Imagine if Cait could bring Vi her sister back? Or at least if she could let Vi know for sure that she wasn't dead. That would be huge. What a difference between the way these three started, and where they ended.

[roughentumble]

God. I bet Logan gets really bad domdrop. He'll finish a scene and get real quiet and then softly asks, "Babe, am I bad person?"

GOD. LITERALLY ABSOLUTELY SOOOOOO TRUEEEEEE

because he's always at war with his desires and his impulses and he tries to act very Human, like he doesnt /hate/ being a mutant and there are parts he embraces, but he also tends to hide/downplay those sides and only bring them out when he WANTS to shock someone. he contains multitudes. he's like, big on how others perceive him and will play into that intentionally in order to get the social upper hand by not presenting exactly how you'd expect, either being more or less animalistic than his apperance and your own biases would lead you to think.

im getting a little off topic but it is related! despite all that he is scared of being Too Other, Too Freak, Too Beast, Too Animal, Too Mindless. is he too violent? can he put down the violence, will the world let him? is he only made to be a weapon? what would others think of him, if they saw all the instincts he fights against? is he the instincts he fights, or is he the thinking man who wrestles with them?

all questions he struggles with, so any scene-- but extremely and especially a scene where he's mean or violent-- is going to bring those questions back up in his head until he's found a way to settle them and accept himself. i love the idea of wade and logan going out into the woods to dismember and gut each other, and then fuck in the bloody aftermath while their bodies are still knitting together, but logan is still trying to cling to normalcy and humanity enough that it would cause MAJOR domdrop once they were done. he'd be nauseous over what he got pleasure out of doing to another person, because doesnt that just confirm every evil thing ever said about him? while wade doesnt have the same reservations, because he's made peace with his own violence, and is much easier able to compartmentalize what theyre doing here as their version of "playing" because they can both take it. logan has absolutely no desire to dismember someone who cant grow back from it(or even if he does have the urge to do so with people who wont heal, the fact that they wont heal stays his hand and makes the thought repulsive even when the urge to do so with SOMEONE remains), so clearly this doesnt say anything bad about logan, to wade. clearly logan is just someone to the left of human who has inhuman urges and has no interest in sating them with the blood of innocents, he's just a Guy. its Fine. but logan isnt able to see that distinction in himself, and really struggles with feeling like a monster

he needs a lot of TLC and gentle introspection to get over it, and even after he's dealt with it there will be times where he looks over at wade and needs to know. did i hurt you too badly? am i bad because i want to hurt you? am i a monster? could you ever love me when i have your blood in my teeth?

then there's the "dont touch me, im a fucking monster" days where he starts breathing heavy and getting in his own head, and he needs to be talked to nice and sweet, reminded of how happy it makes wade and how he isnt alone in their games. he isnt bad for being an aggressor. because that's what it comes down to, being the aggressor feels like an evil tainted role when its him, but obviously its not bad when WADE is hurting HIM-- a flaw in his logic that he cant see when he's in the moment and panicking and feeling like utter crap

logan getting domdrop is actually something that can be so personal

[melkyt]

You know a modern au that would hit with the angst and I eat up everytime?

17~ 18 year old Luffy working way to many jobs under the table, not all of them always paying him but he always does it with a smile and works constantly, so he is dead tired most of the time but doesn't let it show.

He needs this money to helo his brothers or his friends, Luffy who tries to help anyone he can even if he is going through this

Law who meets this Luffy, but doesnt notice that the kid is tired, he just assumes that its just another brat that never qorked a day in his life,

Maybe Luffy is coming hom from Sanji's who is only rich in name and the big empty house he can't afford if it wasnt paid off.

Still that means he is n the more well off neighborhoods with a gated community.

Law who is there as a tutor or on-call doctor for those that can afford it just assumes Luffy is yet another rich brat. Them running into each other ans hanging out on their daily walks.

Luffy who doesn't say anything about himself and lets Law assume whatever he wants.

While Law slowly tells what his life is like and that he is working this late to pay of college and medical bills

Luffy says he can relate but doesn't elaborate and they reach the station before Law can question it. Luffy never gets on the bus/train so Law did also assume he lived in the neighboorhood but the more they got to know each other, the less likely that seemed.

Law getting curious and prying without actually. That slow journey of Law finding out that Luffy is preatty much homeless, and surviving as best he can on the streets

There is some drama as Luffy isnt about to make Law worry. He likes that Law doesnt look at him like some other who pitty him, or try to help when there isnt anything they can do that he isnt already doing. So he likes their talks and goes back even if he doesnt have a reason to be there. Luffy dodging all of Law's questions with really bad lies

Until Law pretends to go home and tails Luffy to a bar, Makino's bar where he often crashes after hanging out between jobs.

Law being concerned about this kid, maybe it reminds him when he was in the same situation. Law trying to help only to make things worse for Luffy.

Them arguing that its nit Law's business and Luffy would have asked for help if he needed it! Luffy daying sure he might like Traffy alot but thats why he's not going to be a burden

The silence heavy around the bar.

Luffy swearing and leaving because he has to go to work, telling Law not to follow him.

Law who is not just going to give up like that, but also not sure what to say, sending cryptic messages that ask Luffy to meet him at some spot.

Luffy who works two shifts that night, and gets the message way too late, and it rains. He checks his phone only to see a message from Law

"Ill be waiting as long as it takes"

Luffy running to meet him, there us a dramatic confession. They are both soaked and the kiss is messy and they dont know what this is but that they are going to try.

Then Law ofc gets sick and thats how Luffy finds out where he lives, and starts crashing there and eventually they start dating without actually putting a name to the relationship.

[siliceouspebble]

When his new foster son goes to the bathroom on the Wayne Jet, Bruce isn't worried. When he takes a little while in there, he isn't worried.

The kid had his whole life turned upside down. Taken from a small Midwest Town to Gotham City of all places? New school, new people at school but also living with new people, strangers. Sure he and Jack were cousins but Bruce had never met the Fenton's after Jack finished his degree. So yes while related they didn't know each other at all.

So Bruce gave the kid a bit in the bathroom to maybe sort himself out.

But then it has been half an hour and Bruce is getting worried. He knocks on the door "Danny, you ok in there?"

He waits a bit "Do you need anything?"

Still nothing. Not even the rustling of clothes.

"Danny?" Nothing "I'm opening the door now, Danny"

Concerned, he uses the latch on the outside to open the door to the bathroom. The empty bathroom.

He looks around wildly. No, no way he lost his new foster on a plane of all things. The room stays empty. No places to hide. He turns around

Had he not noticed Danny getting out of the bathroom? No, he had been looking in the direction of the door the entire time. He would have noticed the door opening.

So, no way for Danny to have left the bathroom through the door. So how did he leave. A locked room mystery.

Fuck.

He looks around the walls if anything, anything at all could have been pries loose to hide in or leave from. Nothing. Just flawless seams.

So no normal way to leave the room.

So an abnormal way to leave the room. Which means powers. Meta or Alien? Density shifting, teleportation? Or something else?

Bruce hated dealing with Meta crime. So many possibilities, so many loose ends.

Did Danny leave voluntarily or did he get taken? He hadn't heard anything from the locked bathroom and he didn't see any sign of struggle. But with a definite involvement of powers that wasn't proof of anything.

Danny had been hesitant to accept help but he had accepted in the end. Had chatted amicably with Bruce on the drive to the airport and until he got on the plane. Yes he had been tense but that made sense with all the reasons Bruce listed earlier.

So taken?

Bruce fished his phone out of his pocket, dialing Clark before that thought could take root and send him spiralling with possibilities.

"Clark, I need your help"

Prompt: Against Danny's wishes, Bruce attempts to gain custody of him. Danny responds by fleeing.

Found in the @haunting-heroes-creative-games discord server. Rabbit, I don't know your tumblr, but this one goes out to you.

EDIT: @rabpitpie HAS REVEALED THEMSELVES

===

"I am not homeless." Danny petulantly mutters. He's a runaway. There is a difference, even if Danny is smart enough not to voice that out loud.

Bruce Wayne, for some god forsaken reason, does not listen.

"Okay, I understand, but your parents—"

"Do not talk about my parents." Danny grits his teeth, struggles to keep his fangs in check.

Bruce puts his hands up in surrender, placating. "Amity Park authorities say that Vlad is your new guardian, because he was named your godfather."

Danny just about stops himself from growling. "Vlad is full of shit."

Bruce ignores him. "But the documents were shoddy at best, and as Jack's—your father's cousin and a registered foster parent, your teacher thought it was pertinent that I was at least informed."

At that, Danny stills. Mr. Lancer? He would be the only one…

"And I want to help you, Daniel."

"Danny." Danny unthinkingly corrects, before he scowls. He was too distracted by thoughts of Lancer to keep himself in check.

"Danny," Bruce smiles, "Will you come to Wayne Manor? The other kids would be happy to have you around. The more the merrier I say!"

Danny eyes the hand offered to him. One one hand, anyone is better than Vlad. On the other hand, billionaire to billionaire isn't exactly and upgrade. Plus, Sam has always said that there was something off about the Waynes.

The rich always had a facade, but Sam was never sure why they would hide the preferable (in her opinion) part. Being seen as a smart businessman would be good for Wayne Enterprises. It's fishy that he would act so dopey, it reeks of tricking people into letting their guards down.

As far as Tuck knew, it wasn't like they were making shadey deals, so why the subterfuge?

Speaking of his friends. His chest vibrates. It's unnoticeable to the outside, but to Danny it buzzes through him. His "chest of holding" as Tucker calls it, has the burner phone Sam had gotten him ages ago, when they couldn't deny it anymore and had to make plans for Danny to flee the city.

Getting CPS called on him was not in the plan.

But then again, it's better than Vlad or the GIW.

Danny forces himself to relax, minutely and slowly, it would be suspicious if he were suddenly amiable, and takes a deep breath. He feigns having to war with himself, to weigh his pride and safety.

He reaches over begrudgingly, to Bruce's soft smile and firm handshake.

He just needs a moment. A single, solitary moment. He lets himself be led out of the room, stiff as Bruce gently guides him with a hand on his back.

The man smells of leather and machine oil. Through Danny's senses, he gets ghosts of bats in a well, in a cave, of comradery in space, of kevlar and—

Flashes of Val, smiling bright enough to match her ever present yellow tanktop, growling through the blackened visor of a red suit, sitting next to him in borrowed clothes and showing him her hoverboard as a sign of truce.

Billionaires, Danny thinks, smell of cologne and money.

They do not, Danny thinks, have polite ghosts waiting for them in the hallway, following them like silent bodyguards, tugging on their expensive shirt sleeves and smiling as if they have saved them, even in death.

Bruce Wayne, Danny thinks, is not all that he claims to be.

But it's not Danny's business if Batman wants to take Danny into his home.

What Batman wants, what Bruce Wayne wants, is irrelevant.

Danny gets in the car and watches through his periphery as a white car silently follows them to the airport.

The seatbelt sign dims with a soft ding as the plane cruises at altitude. Danny wordlessly gets up to use the bathroom, pointing towards it when Bruce hums a questioning tune.

Danny disappears the second he gets the bathroom door closed.

[sofa-king-lame]

Buck and Eddie roadtrip in Texas 👀

Ok so I actually started writing this one MONTHS ago and then abandoned it, but now (after 8x08) I feel like I could pick it back up again with better added context.

Basically they go on a road trip (like maybe they fly to Austin for an event or something and decide to hire a car and drive back through El Paso to get Chris or something). Buck isn't sleeping bc insomnia is a bitch and Eddie researches the shit out of different techniques he can use to help Buck.

Here's a snippet:

--

“Have you tried jacking off right before you go to sleep?” Eddie asks as Buck leaves the bathroom and Buck walks right into the arm chair. 

“The fuck, Eddie,” he groans, bending over to rub his poor dead pinky toe. 

“Sorry, just checking. It’s an obvious one though, so...” Eddie trails off and looks at Buck pointedly. Buck wants to die. 

“Yes, Eddie, I’ve tried that. Didn’t help. Next tip, please.” 

“Counting sheep,” Eddie suggests. He’s sitting cross-legged on the bed in just sweatpants and Buck still wants to die. 

“Oh yeah that’s super fun until my brain can’t stop counting and suddenly it’s 4am and I’ve visualised seven fucking thousand sheep jump over a rickety wooden fence,” Buck snorts. He slumps into the armchair and rubs his eyes aggressively, listening to Eddie’s breathing. The room is (creepily) silent and Buck’s skin is prickling. 

“Visualise moving all the furniture in your room,” Eddie reads off his phone. 

“Great until hyper-fixation kicks in and I get up and actually start moving furniture. Remember three weeks ago when you came over for breakfast and I was passed out on my bed against the opposite wall?” Buck reminds Eddie pointedly. “I need new mental games.” 

“Hmm. Well according to this person on Reddit you shouldn’t think of them as mental games because it’s not meant to be fun,” Eddie snorts. 

“Yeah fuck that person. Going to sleep should be fun and if it helps me to think of mental exercises as games then that’s what I’ll do, random Reddit asshole,” Buck huffs. He’s way more annoyed than he should be about this but Eddie doesn’t say anything, just hums in agreement. Buck appreciates Eddie rolling with his spiralling and not telling him to ‘just sit the fuck down and relax’ like Tommy used to. Buck wants to die a little less now, but not by much. 

“Have you tried counting backwards?” Eddie asks, tilting his head to the left a little. The gel he’d put in his hair in the morning has lost its hold and his hair flops to the side, falling over his forehead. 

“Ah see that one I’ve actually had a little success with.” Buck stands up from the armchair – his pinky toe has miraculously not fallen off and he can, in fact, walk. He sits down opposite Eddie, close enough that their knees are almost touching (because it’s only a double bed, not because Buck just wants an excuse to be close to Eddie, nope). 

“But not so much recently?” 

“I count backwards by threes starting at nine hundred and ninety-nine,” Buck starts, and absolutely does not shift slightly so that his and Eddie’s knees are actually touching. 

“Oddly specific, do explain,” Eddie muses. He still looks sleepy, despite his four-hour nap in the car. Buck wants to hold his stupid hand. 

“Doing it that way hits every triple digit – eight eighty-eight, seven seventy-seven, blah blah blah,” Buck trails off, waving his hand dismissively. “Which is satisfying but is also a pattern that my brain latches on to and after a few nights it’s not engaging enough to keep my attention and I start tuning out the counting and get distracted by other things.” 

“That - I mean I can’t relate, I don’t know what that’s like but it sounds really fucking frustrating. I’m sorry,” Eddie murmurs warmly, placing a calloused hand on Buck’s knee and yep, Buck is going to die tonight. 

--

I've written 5.3k words of this one lol. I've just got so many WIPs/fics I want to start!