#I mean it was the first version I could listen to

[rin-solo]

THANK YOU!! I adore the connection there and what it says about Odysseus that he tried at all, despite knowing it wouldn't work.

Ngl Odysseus' "Maybe you could learn to forgive?" is my favorite moment from the whole saga just for what it says about Odysseus that he tries this before jumping to... well, repeatedly stabbing Poseidon. This moment of leading from the heart, of "Can't we forgive each other and let it go?" and how we are explicitly shown that it does not work puts what Odysseus does to Poseidon in 600 Strike in a very different light compared to what it would be if he hadn't tried reason and mercy first. Quite simply, it shows us proof of what we might have already inferred from just Poseidon's character and how he acts—that stabbing him repeatedly was really the only way to make him give in and back off. He wouldn't have listened to anything else or learned any other way.

However, I believe that no matter how unhinged Odysseus may have been in 600 Strike, this offer also means that he's no longer using ruthlessness as a first resort the way he did for a while after Monster. I mean, would the Different Beast version of Odysseus have offered mercy and forgiveness to the dude who drowned over 500 of his men just like so? I don't think so.

600 Strike, to me, simply means that Odysseus isn't hesitating or shying away from using ruthlessness and violence when he has no choice, or he's facing someone or something with whom mercy doesn't work... like Poseidon.

There are times for mercy, for leading from the heart, and then there are times when that doesn't work—times for ruthlessness. And finally, finally Odysseus is no longer existential-crisising over one or the other because it's been both all along.

See the thing is, Odysseus still tried to reason with Poseidon. He tried to resolve this with words, with his wit. That didn't work. It would never work with Poseidon. So, he became the monster he needed to be to get home. He turned the lesson Poseidon taught him back on him. He was ruthless. And at the end of it, he got his mercy. He got to go home. But he did try, one last time, to be the man Polites believed him to be. Open arms didn't work. So ruthlessness it was.

[transhuman-priestess]

How I Scan Negatives

I've been doing film photography for 3 whole weeks so of course I am now an expert and you should toooooootally listen to me for my expert opinion on this matter.

But in seriousness, this post isn't meant to be a how-to guide, but if you can glean some useful information from it, that's really neat and I'm glad.

Part 1: The Scanner

There are a couple different ways to scan negatives. The simplest is known as camera scanning, and that just means you use some kind of backlight and take a close-up picture of a negative with a digital camera of some kind.

I've done a couple of scans like this but since it ideally relies on a macro lens, something which costs about $300 at a bare minimum, and more if you want one that's actually, yknow, good. Also, camera scanning inherently limits you to one picture at a time.

So my scanner is a flatbed Epson "Perfection" V600. I purchased this scanner because it is the least expensive flatbed scanner you can find that also does transparencies. It can scan 12 35mm negatives or two 6x9cm 120 negatives at a time. The Perfection V850 can do a full 36 exposure roll of 35mm but costs 4.33x as much.

So this thing is fine.

The first step is to cut my negatives up. This isn't as horrifying as it sounds. I have binder pages that hold 6 6-exposure strips, so a full roll of 35mm (which i will from here on out refer to with the slightly antiquated but slightly faster to type "135") takes up a single page.

Next, I mount them in the handy negative mounting frame that Epson provides, and put it in the scanner.

Now we can move on to the actual scanning.

Part 2: Scanning Software

This is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most irritating part of the whole ordeal. There's lots of decent scanning software out there, but there's fewer options for really good scanning software. Most of the "automatic" stuff sucks at being automatic so I end up doing most of it manually.

The scanner comes with the inventively named "Epson Scan," which is a very competent program if you want to scan and don't care about dust and scratches on your film. That is because I have yet to figure out what combination of options actually gets it to properly remove dust and scratches. This is mandatory, because I do not have $10,000 to spend on an industrial-grade negative pressure ventilation system for my bathroom/processing lab. Dust is avoidable, but ultimately inescapable.

The ins and outs of dust and scratch removal are interesting but not interesting enough for me to do a deep dive on them. The very short version is that the scanner scans every frame twice, once with visible light and once with infrared, and overlays the information from these to get rid of dust and scratches.

So instead of using the admittedly competent pack-in software, I opted to purchase SilverFast 9 SE. I paid $49 USD for this because I could not find a cracked version of the full-featured "HDR Suite" version and, frankly, i haven't missed the additional features.

SilverFast has a wizard option (Do they still call it that?) that walks you through the various steps of scanning. I haven't used it since my first roll.

The first step is to do a "pre-scan", which just scans the whole thing at a low resolution so you can pick the frames out of the lineup.

This is my screen at this point. The first step is to draw around the individual frames. This takes about 5-10 minutes depending on how anal i'm being about framing and overscan.

Now that i've let the computer pick the frames to save time for demonstration purposes manually picked my frames its time to boost the scan resolution from a postage-stamp 300 pixels per inch to an actually-usable 3200. You'll also note that i'm scanning these as "positives" rather than negatives. The "negative" scan option adds something called "Negafix" that i cannot turn off and that tries to color-correct for the negative stock's film base color. It is monumentally bad at this unless your stock is pre-loaded in its database which, as far as I can tell, hasn't been updated since 2005. We'll deal with that later though.

Now that we have the basic setting defined we go over to the "frame" menu seen above and copy these settings to all frames. I could set them manually, but copying settings over is the one thing this software is good at doing automatically. This may have something to do with the fact that it is essentially copy-and-paste, which you may recognize as a basic feature of every computer since 1987.

Occasionally, and unpredictably, the scanning software will turn on "Unsharp Masking." The wikipedia page on this option will explain it. I will not, because my contempt for the option rivals my contempt for the Republican Party, The Catholic Church, and Portland's insistence on driving 5 below the limit on the highway. I turn it off and if I could i would find whoever invented this option and eat their dog.

Once that is turned off we get to turn on the most beautiful option that SilverFast 9 SE has to offer, iSRD. iSRD is the previously-mentioned scratch-and-dust removal.

I have found that, in this one instance, the automatic settings are completely acceptable to me. They eliminate most of the really problematic dust in high-detail areas. The hairs and dust that gets left behind is usually easy to deal with via clone stamp later.

Now that the boring stuff is out of the way we get to the tedious, yet, to me at least, fun part. Histogram adjustment!

What you're seeing here is a histogram, its a graphical representation of the brightness of an image. Our goal with this is to maximize the dynamic range of the image. All that blank space to the right of the "mountains" (and some of the "lowlands" on the left) need to be eliminated so that the file can use as much of the bandwidth they have for actual useful image file stuff. This is pretty simple. We just slide those little arrows until they bound the mountains better.

Once we do this we can check the output histogram and see how it's mapped all the image data to the full bandwidth.

This has to be done individually per-frame, since each frame is slightly different.

Now that's done we can actually scan. I use the "Batch Scan" function, which scans everything one-after-the-other. I'm not going to show the dialog windows because 1.) its boring and 2.) I don't want to reconfigure the save path the way I did for the above images. It's a privacy thing.

After we've scanned everything its time to move on to...

Part 3: Color Grading

This is the part you've never heard about before. It's the most involved, and the most important, and it's worth getting into why.

Computers are amazing at storing information, at sorting information, at rearranging and processing information, but they are fundementally incapable of the most important part of dealing with information, assigning meaning.

I'm sure a lot of folks are going to be very very angry at me for saying that, but I actually don't care, and what's more, I'm confident the computer scientists I know will agree with me.

Film is better at storing images than computers. Period, this is a physical fact. The amount of dynamic range and resolution contained in film exceeds the ability of computers to contain it completely. So scanning is always going to be about compromises. You're trying to maximize the amount of useful information you can see by eliminating as much of the un-useful information as you can. But the computer doesn't actually know what is and isn't useful, so we have to tell it.

In order to do this, we use image editing software. I know a lot of photographers who swear by Photoshop, but fuck Adobe, and I know a lot of photographers who love GIMP, but GIMP's user interface is so convoluted as to be detrimental to my purposes. So I use Paint.NET, which is Windows-only, a fact which is sure to get me hate mail from several users including one of my best friends. (Sorry, Murder*.)

Here we have an unaltered** negative. There's a bit of overscan you can see on the left side of the image, and obviously its currently in portrait orientation. Before we go any further, I'm going to fix both of these things.

I like to crop my negatives in a 3:2 ratio. This is the natural aspect ratio of 135 film, and i like that similitude. Paint.NET lets me set a fixed aspect ratio for selections, which is nice

Now that the overscan has been cropped out and the picture is rotated properly, we can invert the image to a positive, and here is where it will become apparent to you exactly why color grading is important, and why there's no such thing as an "pure scan".

Wow! That's very...blue? Well, yes, it is. Color negative film mostly has an orange base. This helps compensate for shortcomings in the dyes used, and those shortcomings are why we have to color grade. The next step I take is to open the "levels" controls, where you'll see our old friend, the histogram!

This histogram looks different, but it's the same basic concept, with the difference that this program lets me adjust red, green, and blue individually. You'll also note that the individual RGB histograms broadly look similar, just out of sync. This is because of the orange base. They won't always look that similar, and in this case it's largely because the sky was overcast that day and there's a large amount of gray in the entire image.

We're going to adjust the input histogram first. Here, our goal is to map the maximum amount of dynamic range possible to the final image. Color balance is not yet important. So we slide the little arrows up and down from the top and bottom so that as much of them fill the output histogram as possible without clipping.

What is clipping? Clipping is when the black or white levels "blow out". Some clipping is acceptable in some images. A bright, sunny day will invariably have some clipping, and if you go out of your way to avoid it the image will look weird and flat. But in a picture like this where everything is muted and gray, we want to avoid it.

Clipping, by the way, looks like this, and is why i don't let the computer automatically adjust the level balance. Some people like this look with the deep black shadows, I do not.

But, onto doing it the Proper*** way

You can see the image is looking a lot better, but it still has a notably off color cast to the image. Its kind of green. Now we can move on to adjusting the output histogram. There's two ways to deal with this. We can adjust the input red, but this will result in highlight clipping. I actually don't mind highlight clipping as much, and in this case we have several red lights in the image both on the BMW and the crossing gate, so we're going to adjust that input histogram.

Truthfully, I should have thought of this before picking this image to do a demonstration on, but at this point its too late to turn back, and like I keep saying, this isn't a "how-to" guide.

So we still have a bit of a color cast, but its (mostly) in the midtones. Now it's time to bring out our secret weapon: gray balance, also known as neutral point or gray point.

That middle slider can be adjusted for red, green, and blue independently, and that's exactly what we're going to do.

This looks, for the most part, very good. I'll probably go back and tweak the gray points in the red and green a bit more, and i often go through these steps 2-3 times, repeating with finer adjustments before finally confirming the changes.

Truthfully, I don't remember if the BMW was pure white or eggshell white, so i'm going to err on the side of "eggshell" because the rest of the image looks weirder if i adjust for that white to be "pure".

And now, Voila! A fully color-graded image.

Does it look exactly like it did IRL? No, not quite, but again, scanning is all about compromise. I'm sure someone with more experience could do a better job than me, but the point here isn't to show you how to make things perfect, it's to show how I, Ivy Michaels do this.

If you made it through this far, congratulations! I love you! I hope you found this interesting. Thanks for reading <3

*Murder is e's actual name.

** i have censored the license plate of the 25-year-old BMW in my shot out of privacy concerns. It is not my car, and i do not know the owner. The negative has not been cropped, rotated, inverted, or graded in any way. Only the license plate has been removed by select-and-stretch. *** Despite my repeated slides into "we/us" language, this is not a how-to and is not intended to be a statement of objective correctness. It is "correct" in the sense of "correct to my personal workflow"

[an-idyllic-novelist]

I’m Not Your Fiancée, Ranma [a ranma saotome with fem!reader mini series] part two

warnings: anime/manga spoilers, slight canon divergence, very mild Akane bashing.

Hey guys and welcome back to the second episode in this mini series! It’s been a wild ride writing for this classic anime, and so far the Netflix remake has delivered in laughs, drama, and slow-burn romantic tension!

Thank you all so much for supporting this content, I honestly wasn’t expecting so much positive feedback from everyone or to have requests to join the taglist! 😊 Shout-out to my dear friend @deathmetalunicorn1 who helped me figure out a unique and fun way to write out this part, a journal entry from the one and only Nabiki Tendo!

So with that being said, sit back, relax, and watch for that bucket of cold water! :3

Who would have thought that Ranma Saotome would actually stand up for himself and spout off a subtle confession of love towards my little sister? Now, my dear Confidante, you may think he finally said it to Akane, and that the constant drama in my house would finally quiet down and there would be some peace, the likes of which hasn't happened since the pigtailed boy and his father came knocking on our door last year. Alas, that is not the case, because Ranma declared in the dojo that he wanted to have my adorable little [First Name] be the person he was engaged to rather than tolerate my sister once more.

Not that I blame him, really.

As much as I love Akane and the huge wade of bills I can bring home from selling photos of her at school, she can be a violent maniac whenever jealousy rears its ugly head and makes a big deal out of everything. Seriously, and I thought she was already a handful with her constant declarations of hating men, though I partially blame Kuno for that one, even if he is one of my best clients. Let me continue before I get off track. As the old saying goes, “time is money.” Naturally, Daddy and Mr. Saotome did not take the proclamation very well. It wasn’t even a minute before they stomped into the dojo and started yelling at him.

“Ranma, how could you?!” Daddy wailed as crocodile tears streamed down his face. “I know you and Akane love each other, that’s why you must go through with this engagement!”

“Boy, do you even know what you know what you are saying?!” Mr. Saotome bellowed. “Akane is your fiancee! It is your duty to marry her and carry on the school!”

Ranma scowled. “Oh, really? Do ya think she can even teach a student without flyin’ off the handle? An’ ya don’t have to be good at martial arts to run this place, anyway!” His hands hung by his sides, clenching and unclenching into tight fists. That’s usually a sign when he’s trying to reign in his own anger. “I told ya before that I didn’t come all the way here just so you can marry me off, but ya didn’t listen! So for once in your miserable old life, let me get a say in who I want to spend the rest of my life with!” He then turned to Daddy. “Mr. Tendo, I don’t love Akane. I mean…I did, or I thought I did, but all she does is get mad at me for things I didn’t do and make me try her cooking! She thinks I’m goin’ behind her back with Ukyo an’ Shampoo when they’re the ones who come onto me! What the heck am I supposed to do in that situation, anyway?!”

You could have just told them off, Ranma. But it’s your vow as a martial artist to never strike a girl. That’s how you’ve always been. As for [First Name]? Well, she was still on the floor, in shock at what she heard for a bit until she stood up and stepped in front of Ranma, shielding him from Daddy as his battle aura oozed into the dojo, changing my sweet dear Daddy into a demon version of himself, large head with a forked tongue and all that jazz.

“Dad, enough.” [First Name] said firmly. “Ranma has done nothing wrong. Ever since he’s been here, you’ve always blamed him for Akane’s unhappiness. I’m not saying he isn’t completely innocent, because sometimes it is his fault. But if what he’s saying is true, then we need to respect his decision. Mr. Saotome, I know you want to keep your promise to your old friend, but this engagement is something he didn’t want. It’s not what Akane wanted either, but everyone pushed them together. You perceived their loud shouting as adorable and believed they were a lovely couple.” [First Name] scoffed. “Don’t make me repeat myself, Father. Back. Off.”

Imagine my surprise when my easygoing little sister exerted her own battle aura into the dojo, something that rarely happens unless she’s extremely angered. I can do it, and so can Kasumi, but it’s like with [First Name]. Only when we’re really furious and that’s fine with me. I’d rather put my energy into making more money. Daddy also found it surprising, as he quickly redirected the conversation back to the problem.

“B-but the schools, sweetie! We must unite the schools before Mr. Saotome and I pass on! You know, the only way to accomplish that is through a betrothal!” I almost gagged at the sound of his whiny voice. Good grief, how pathetic.

“An engagement, not a business negotiation between two old friends?” [First Name] countered. “Where one of us manages the school, and Ranma and some other teachers can coach the students? Have you ever entertained that possibility?”

“Are you questioning our judgement, girl?!” Mr. Saotome snarled.

“I’m questioning your sanity!”

Naturally, I intervened before things got too messy. I told them all to calm down, and offered a solution: it’s obvious that Ranma does not want to get back with Akane, and he has expressed an interest in [First Name]. I had no interest in taking up bridal duties again. I’m pretty sure Kasumi still doesn’t like younger men, and has expressed little interest in dating either, at least that I know of. So, why not switch the engagement from Akane, and have [First Name] be his new fiancee? We’ll see how things go, and no pressuring them to do anything they weren’t ready for unless Daddy and Mr. Saotome want this arrangement to not work out because of their meddling. But my little sister’s earlier proposition wasn’t bad either, if things didn’t work out between Ranma and [First Name]. No one really gets engaged in high school anymore, and there are other ways to manage a martial arts school that didn’t involve marriage. I guess the reason Daddy never considered that idea is that he really wants one of us to marry his best friend’s son and retire. Mr. Saotome probably just wants to live comfortably for the rest of his life, so typical of the lazy panda man.

So, that’s where it stands now. Ranma and [First Name] have been engaged for over a week, and nothing’s really changed between them. Well, it’s more like they are still adjusting to these changes. Ranma is still weary of her, thinking my dear little sister is being nice and then will start acting like Akane as soon as [First Name] sees something she doesn’t like. Tut, tut, silly Ranma. But I’ll let him figure that out on his own, unless he pays the exclusive 10,000 yen consultation fee I offer and give an honest opinion. And [First Name]? Well, she still treats Ranma with respect, helps him with his homework, and doesn’t cling to him like Shampoo or Ukyo. In fact, if she has a club meeting, she insists he go home without her and she’ll be fine walking home at night.

[First Name] is too kind for her own good. Kasumi knows it too. She chided Ranma in the kitchen one evening when he came home without [First Name], saying it’s not a good idea to let a girl walk home by herself even if she says she will be okay. Ranma had the decency to look a little ashamed before shuffling back to the room he shared with Mr. Saotome to apparently get some homework done. Will wonders ever cease to happen in this house, my dear Confidante?

How is Akane taking this change? Not very well. She keeps insisting [First Name] can do better than a pervert, and things will only get worse. I beg to differ.

I already see that things around the house are much calmer. There’s been no fighting, no tables thrown, or Ranma flying across the neighborhood with bumps on his head. He may think we do not notice as soon as dinner is over, but he helps [First Name] with clearing the table or washing the dishes. One morning, I even saw him in the kitchen, getting her lunch out of the fridge and setting it next to her school bag so she didn’t forget it and eat at the cafeteria again. I was sure I wasn’t imagining it, sleep and caffeine deprived.

Everything will be fine. I’m sure of it. I can only hope that Shampoo or the other girls don’t get any funny ideas yet. [First Name] has said nothing about the engagement at school, and Akane just harrumphs and says she’s happy to no longer be engaged to a pervert anymore.

I want to write more, but it seems there’s someone knocking at my door. That’s strange. I wasn’t expecting any clients today. Will be back.

Later -

Unbelievable. Ranma Saotome has just left and made me richer after a lengthy consultation about where he could take [First Name] for their first date this Sunday. Mr. Saotome has been upset that he’s been neglecting [First Name] and somehow misconstrued it as a challenge, both as a martial artist and as a man. Honestly, it amazes me how can these people even be my family. Good luck little sister, you will need it. 

Taglist: @djh4l0v3rv3r @silverklaus @alee24x @loverofyandereboys @akiqvq @the-dumber-scaramouche @stingywiththeirusername @mochinon-yah @gudaworks @danyzta

[andcars]

# 𝗢𝗣𝟴𝟭 ─── I WANNA HEAR YOU MASTERLIST⠀REQUEST ME⠀TAGLIST⠀PATREON GUIDE⠀AO3

RACE WINNERS HAVE PRIVILEGES. those privileges don't always apply to their partners though. sometimes they have to earn things to get what they want. sometimes they're too fucking bratty to get anything ────── original prompt req.

PROMPTED DIALOGUE . . . # “You want me to beg? I don't think a winner should beg" PROMPTED TAGS . . . # gender neutral reader, submissive oscar piastri, praise kink, cum play ADD. TAGS . . . # light bondage, tied up, edging, mean reader for a bit, open ending WORD COUNT. . . # 1.1k

────── AO3 VERSION

Every Formula 1 win is special. You know that; the fact has settled in quite nicely when you’re dating such a great F1 driver. When Oscar wins for the first time, you know you need to make it special for him. Even if his team doesn’t think so.

Oscar is sat on the bed, hands bound tight with a red rope. The same rope follows from his hands to the rest of his limbs—forming a nice shape around his chest, wrapped around his hips and to his thighs. The rest is for pure aesthetics, and it's been done beautifully.

He's breathless as he's looking at you, cock red, and eyes glaring in need.

"Don't tease me," he grunts, more sounding like a whimper as he throws his head back.

Your hands act innocent as it's wrapped around the tearful cock—it leaks pre-cum with need. He lets out a silent moan as you play with him. Uncaring of how much pleasure you’re really relieving, you tease him as you believe he deserves.

“Fu-u-ucking~...” Oscar’s thighs shake in it's bounds. “Mmph... You're so annoying—"

"Am I?" you ask, smiling down at him. He tries so hard to fight it off but his hips are moving to your hand. Everytime he thrusts his hips, you loosen your grip. "Am I annoying, Oscar?"

"Yes," he hisses, "So annoying. I just want you- fuck."

"Then beg for it—" your hands tighten on his cock, a silent moan got his jaw to drop—"Beg for it, Oscar. I wanna hear you."

Weeks of edging him (and it's been weeks, you refuse to touch him if he doesn't score you a win again after Hungary) has his body moving feverishly. He can't stop shaking. His skin blushes red and dripping with sweat. Your boyfriend tries to keep himself still but you know all he wants is to fuck your hand.

Shaking his head, he says: "No. I w-won a race. Mmph... I don't need to beg."

Fine. "Have it your way."

You immediately pull away from him. His head flickers up to you, watching you as you stand from the bed. He's calling out to you but you're undressing yourself as you take something from the bedside drawer.

"Since my sweet boy doesn't want to co-operate, I guess I'll just have to make use of myself, hm?"

With your underwear thrown to the floor, you pull out some lube and a vibrator. You saw the moment his eyes cloud with lust; he gulped, stopping himself from drooling; his gaze fell to your sex as you position yourself on top of his face; his arms jerk in its restraints as it begged to touch you.

He calls out your name again. You ignore him. Instead, you pour lube on the toy and turn it on—the whirring of it silences Oscar. He watches as you press it against you, he watches as you moan softly at a toy pleasing you instead.

"I wanted to make you feel good tonight, baby," you say, grinding a little on the wand, "but you just don't wanna play with me."

"I do," he says, his bottom lip pouted. "Just... Don't wanna be teased anymore."

"I asked you to beg- fuck." You press it to you a little harder. He opens his mouth as he sees you drip a little. "You won't listen to me. So I guess I'll have to postpone my gift, hm? Make myself feel good instead."

Desire is etched into his expression. With his mouth agape, cheeks pink, and tongue eagerly awaiting for a single drop of your arousal, he's lost needing you.

But you keep your hands to yourself. He's forced to watch you relieve yourself. You know him. He's itching with the need to touch you. A safe word could be on the tip of his tongue but you know that this is the point where he wants to be good for you.

"Please," his voice is small and almost unheard through the loud vibrations. "I want... I want you again please."

You shake your head. "No, Oscar. You're gonna fucking watch me come all over your face before you get even anything."

He whines. "Please..! Just—If you let me go I'll be so good for you. Please..."

Though you want to hold him, use him, make him feel so special for his race win, you hold your promise. Lowering down to his face, he breathes you in and mouths just below your sex. He needs to put his mouth on you, you watch as it gets him so manic. It's getting a bit pathetic honestly.

"You look so good, baby," you say, finally giving your lost boy some attention. "I know that you can be good for me. Wait for me, okay?"

He whines. You tsk and shake your head. "None of that, baby. Be good for me and stick your tongue out—" he does immediately—"good boy. Good boy, Oscar. See? All you needed was... all you needed was to be shut up for a bit."

"I'm sorry, please, I want you so bad—"

"And you'll get me," you tell him. "Stay like that. I'm so fucking close. Stick your tongue out like a good boy and take me."

It's not long until you feel yourself approaching your end. Oscar lays so pliant beneath you. He keeps begging under his breath, just quiet enough to hope you're not listening. He knows when you're near. He's getting more twitchy—panting as if he's the one about to cum.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," he moans at your words, "I'm gonna cum, baby. You wanna taste me? You wanna fucking taste it?"

He nods. He's getting dizzy as he tries to push his head up to get more of you—yet you keep pulling away. "Cum on me please," he begs, tongue out and anticipating the taste of you.

The sight drives you fucking mad. With a few strokes of the toy on you, you cum all over his awaiting mouth.

Oscar laps up your release eagerly. Your fingers go down to push some splattered cum from his cheeks and drag it down his lips. He thanks you silently as he licks your fingers. Eyes half open, he treasures your taste.

Your dirty fingers trail down his lips and to his chin. Your release makes a trail down and he's only showing you more of his skin. A laugh leaves you as he practically begs to be painted in your fluids.

"Such a good boy for me," you coo. "You wanna get your treat now?"

He's agreeing so quickly that it makes you wanna frame this moment. The moment when race winner Oscar Piastri is begging for you. You smile. "Okay, it's gonna be a long night, baby."

It's not like he would ask for anything more

🗒 𝗣𝗔𝗣𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗟 . . . short oscar piastri fic cuz i was out my entire bday LMAO. anyways, hope anon saw this cuz i </3 am sorry for all these late requests. my next fic is literally a request of a daniel fic during the singapore gp BEFORE it was announced he was leaving... so uh... yeah. mb. anyways, hope ya'll had fun w this cuz i literally edged ya'll too lmao ˎˊ˗ ᝰ. ──── 📨 @Delululeclerc @hiireadstuff @rtorresblog @Jamie2305

you support me best on tumblr with reblogs and comments ! ── by andcars ⟡

[dirtyzucchini]

I was chatting with @sammags and @syrupmap about Frannie's German Suitor from Dead Men Don't Throw Rice earlier (have you noticed he bears an uncanny resemblance to Canadian actor Paul Gross?), and the question came up: "Zucchini, how is that guy's German?" and the answer was, of course: "ATROCIOUS, thank you!"

So, let me count you the ways in which those lines at the end of the episode are clearly supposed to be German, but were not influenced by anyone who has anything more than a passing acquaintance with the language!

Line number one:

What they're trying to say:

Their German translation and why it's garbage:

"Da komm ich nicht drauf was ich sagen."

This first line is almost a sentence, only it's missing a part, it means something else than they think it does AND it's just not something anyone would say. "Da komm ich nicht drauf was ich sagen" is like… if someone said it to me I would think I knew what he meant, but I would also think he used a bad translation app or something. Unfortunately, what I would think he meant would be "I have no idea what I'm supposed to say", which the astute reader will agree is NOT what they where going for here. A good translation would have been "Ich verstehe kein Wort", a more direct but not quite idiomatic translation would have been "Ich habe keine Ahnung, was du sagst", but neither of those happened. Aside from that, his pronounciation is... not horrific, but he would not be mistaken for a native speaker.

Line number two:

What they're trying to say:

Their German translation and why it's garbage:

His pronounciation of the first half of that sentence is so bad that I can't for the life of me make out what they're trying to say. Listened to it twenty times at least, can't do it. The second half ("Ich kann keine Englisch") is almost correct - it should be 'kein' instead of 'keine' - but it doesn't sound great. While it is idiomatic, a closer and still perfectly normal translation of their line would have been: "Ich spreche kein Wort Englisch."

Line number three:

What they're trying to say:

Their German translation and why it's garbage:

"Sie Chicago-Mädchen sind merkwürdige." Oh boy, where do I even start? A native speaker would probably phrase it as "Chicago-Mädels sind komisch" but only because the construction we would normally use only works on place names ending in a consonant. For, say, Berlin we would say "Berlinerinnen sind komisch", but 'Chicagoerinnen' is impossible to say somehow. So normally the word 'girls' would not appear in the German version of the sentence, but we would likely make an exception for Chicago. We would not say Mädchen because it mostly refers to children and teenagers; Mädels is the word to go for when then girls in question are adults. Then there's the thing about "Sie" - while that's one way to translate 'you', it's the word used in direct formal address of a single person, so it's right out in this case. A fairly direct, but not quite idiomatic translation could be "Ihr Chicago-Mädels seid merkwürdig", only no one uses merkwürdig like that. Last not least, his pronounciation is not great here either.

Line number four:

What they're trying to say:

Their translation and why it's garbage fine actually:

"Ich muss jetzt gehen" - solid translation, solid delivery. While he doesn't sound like a native speaker, he definitely sounds like a guy who's been learning German for a while.

BONUS:

This made me laugh because he said it in English and they put the German in the caption. Solid translation again!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk! In conclusion: these lines were written by a bunch of people who took German in school for a year, then pooled their vague memories to create this. It's weird and funny and I love it, actually!

[happistar]

Okay, I’m genuinely curious what everyone’s preference is since the current fandom has changed so much

[hyperpotamianarch]

All right, dipping into the discourse: hey, guys, you are aware that most tunes you mention are... well, many prayers have multiple tunes. The Chabad version of Ha'Aderet VeHa'emunah is, IIRC, a march - the Napoleon March, to be exact. Then there is the tune that is usually used for specific lines like HaMeluchah VeHamemshalah ("Hameluchah. VeHamemshalah. Hamluchah VeHamemshalah L'Chai Olamim..."), or the slow one I was used to from the Yeshivah. Describing tunes and music in words is insufficient. So, I intend to attempt and add links.

This is the most likely candidate to Sim Shalom, I think. With how common it is, you'd expect it to be the first result, but nope.

I don't really know to which Mihu Melekh HaKavod you mean. I could probably try find the most likely candidate, but honestly... Sometimes, conveying the tunes right requires recording yourself. Which I'm not going to do just yet.

This is the Niggun I knew as the Chabad version of Ha'Aderet VeHa'emunah. Another version that I've only heard on Simchat Torah is this, and this is the one that was sung every Shabbat in Se'udah Shelishit in my Yeshivah. This, on the other hand, is the one on HaMeluchah VeHamemshalah that I know, also usually sung at Simchat Torah.

This, on the other hand, is a song I came to love lately, called Chai Hashem UVaruch Tzuri. It's a song for Shabbat morning that I heard in a couple of Yeshivahs and really liked. I could add many others, really, but it would skew things to Ashkenazi Zemirot. So if anyone around Jumblr would like to add some Mizrahi Zemirot - please do!

(Also, the best holiday is always the one we're on. Sure, my family can attest to how much I ramble about my Purim costume, but Sukkot is also very fun! As is Hannukah, Pesach and Shavuot. Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur are... a bit different, and Tu BiShvat doesn't really count. Neither does Lag Ba'Omer.)

Oh, and Matzah is great, don't listen to the people complaining about it being cardboard. If our ancestors ate it for a month until the Manna came and found it tasty - we can too. Maybe we can taste in it the Manna flavour their Matzot had! (See Kiddushin 38A, link from Sefaria.)

Enough posts arguing with antisemites, we need to return to our roots and argue with each other. Here are some opinions I have, prove me wrong

Sweet kugel is gross and a food crime

Sim shalom is the best blessing/prayer like tune wise - goes fucking hard at shul when everyone does like the split lyric thing and we met up at the end

Purim is the best holiday

Matzoh fucking slaps

Matzoh ball soup is a year round dish, shouldn't only be eaten on pesach

Matzoh brei should not have eggs and should be cooked in a shit ton of butter

The reuben sandwich is the best recent food invented by a jew

[flavia-draws]

tia in the clouds

[lizzydizzyyo]

So fucking sad that David Archuleta put his life on pause for some stupid missionary period taking two years when his career was literally shooting up (eventually killing it until it sizzled out), not to mention doing a whole PR manouver when he was "caught" in a gay bar from a grainy cctv screenshot (which is not a bad thing btw) but he ended up becoming a public queer ex-mormon anyway. All that effort and bullshit. Man. Imagine if he went ahead with his career in 2012-2014 instead, he might even come out earlier because 2013 was literally the gay coming out year. Can you imagine. Can you imagine how spoiled we would have been as an archie if he did that instead. CAN YOU IMAGINE.

[corneille-moisie]

i was tagged by @im-sometimes-sparkles to spell my url with song titles and did not want to reblog the long reblog chain (you can reblog this one or make your own, either's fine by me :) )

candis - sukekiyo

obscure - dir en grey (cw for gore and other gross stuff, just in case)

rink - blam honey

nas ne dagoniat - tatu (not gonna get us works too :D)

energize me - after forever

inner universe - hora

l'horloge - chanton l'amour

last hallucination - schwarz stein

even in death - evanescence

-

maze - velvet eden

ophelia - kaya

if i could turn back time - cher

senzafine - lacuna coil

iidk - vidoll

edema ruh - nightwish

im tagging @moonjaehwa, @ans-main, @technicontrastron, @kurumeki, @jade-curtiss because im curious but you're under no obligation to actually do it lol :3

eta : no need to link everything, im just extra like that ^^

and if you were not tagged and wanna do it, go ahead, do it !! (tag me though, i wanna see 👀 !!)

[diloph]

So, @staff, @support,lemme follow your train of logic here.

You implement a new post editor that's laggy and abysmal.

You reduce content on these search or tag pages to two measly columns.

You then take months to put anything in those columns, which looks horrible.

Your search function breaks after a single search, prompting me to return to the home page if I want to look stuff up again.

You then decided that everybody was interested in something and created a... I dunno, specific column for it? Regardless of the user?

And today, you decided that everybody needed to see somebody from said thing on their dash, regardless of people with scopophobia, coulrophobia, paranoia about viruses on their PCs, who struggle with intrusive media and so on? That if you click on it changes stuff in their background with the posters with at least one big pair of staring eyes saying "WE'RE WATCHING YOU"?

What planet do you live on where you think these changes will induce site traffic?

[debleb]

americans try not to immediately turn anything irish into magical mystical uwu pagan faeries challenge (100% IMPOSSIBLE)

[vivalasthedas]

oh no a new sims expansion comes out the same day as veilguard uhoh how will i decide what to spend money on

something that will break the game its for and - purely based on the title - sounds kinda fucking stupid or the next installment of a game that changed my brain chemistry

[moonicdaze]

Without reaching too much into JTTW for getting an idea for what happened between Wukong and macaque (since LMK does often differ from the book and we’ve only got bits and pieces of their fight so far), wukong’s memory of the event in s5 shows that macaque was definitely not innocent (laughing maniacally while Wukong begs him to stop). Even what he did in s3 was super messed up (and yes he was in a bad spot and desperate there but he still had agency in his actions and damn I wish we got him apologizing at least a little).

Like macaque is also not a super good person, not sure how that gets brushed under the rug when it’s very obvious.

I love macaque but if my ex-best friend tries to steal my identity after i worked so hard to change and became better I'll probably be pissed of too because wtf

like I don't get why is it such a hot take to say that wukong anger towards macaque is justifiable because it is

macaque was also going to kill his companions and replace them with clons (at least in jttw) like yeah wukong definitely did some mistakes but that doesn't mean he's not allowed to be angry about this like lmk fandom need to understand that this anger is not one sided for a good reason

[iiboronii]

Just wished on a star so that I could figure out what I wanna do with my life. I hope that wasn't too much for it to handle.

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt. 5

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]

“So you’re that dead kid everyone’s talking about.”

Danny smacked a trash bag into the purple clad vigilante. “You can pick up the glass.”

“Wait, I’m just here to-”

“Bother me when I’m working? At least the litterer brings me cash. You can help clean or you can leave. Plastics go over there.”

Danny pointed at a pile of plastics, ignoring Spoiler’s bemused look. Hard to tell, really, considering her mask.

“I’ll help clean if you answer some questions!” Spoiler chirped, already moving to pick out the glass in the general trash pile Danny’s managed to gather. He nodded.

“Alright. At least you’re helping. The other one just bothers me and leaves his stuff on the beach.”

Spoiler snorted. “I’m Spoiler. Is the litterer Batman?”

“Sure. I don’t really care what his name is,” which was a complete lie, Danny was a fan. It’s just that messing with Batman (especially after he couldn’t clean up after himself, honestly!) overrode his fan behavior. “But if I catch him leaving shit in the waters again…”

Danny frowned, eyes glowing. He could feel- even with his partial tangibility, the muck of Gotham's waters seeping into his boots. It was not giving 'Live, Laugh, Love' to Danny, and he needed it gone.

“Whatever. They dropped a lot of guns down here. You can deal with those too, yeah?”

“I'm pretty sure that's evidence?!”

“If you could call it that.” Danny plucked away the Styrofoam and the hazardous (more than regular, anyways) materials away from the trash pile so Spoiler could dig through with her gloves without contracting sixteen different sorts of illnesses.

“So, what brings you to Gotham?”

Danny pointed at the water. “Came for school. Stayed because you losers polluted the water with dead bodies and gross chemicals.”

“You go to school?”

“Hey, that’s discriminatory.”

“Oops! No, sorry! I meant-”

Danny waved her off, irritably separating a bottle cap from the crushed bottle. Seriously, what’s the point of putting the cap back on if you were going to throw it in the bay anyways?

“It’s fine. How else am I supposed to learn about the advancements made in the scientific industry otherwise?”

Even if Danny wasn’t too sure that science could sure stupidity, but a halfa could dream, right?

"So... do you just... listen in on lectures?"

Danny stared at her. "What else would I do in a class??"

"Oh. I just thought since you're dead and all, you'd do something more... fun?"

"I mean, I could terrorize the local villains for kicks, if that's what you meant."

Spoiler brightened. "Actually, yeah! That would be helpful! If Mr. Freeze keeps bringing the cold during my latte Thursdays, I'm gonna snap and wring his cold little chicken neck."

Danny snorted. "Alright. I will keep an eye out for this Mr. Freeze." Danny paused. "Hey, tell your friend to come down and help us."

"What- oh. Black Bat!" Stephanie waved her partner down. Black Bat gracefully slipped down towards the bay, casually knocking out two goons gunning for Spoiler.

'Careful,' Black Bat signed.

"Thanks!" Spoiler bounced on the heels of her feet. She swept an arm out. "Wanna help?"

Black Bat tilted her head and, after placing Danny under quick but thorough scrutiny, nodded.

'You can get the salvageable stuff. Anything you can't lift, leave to me.' Danny signed clumsily, placing emphasis on can't.

"You know sign language?"

"I'm not too good at it, I just learned this version."

He knew ghost-sign first, after all.

"Chop, chop. I don't have all night."

----

Danny learned that Black Bat had the skill to knock cans into their designated piles if he threw them in the air so she could kick at them.

"You two can come back anytime."

Spoiler whooped while Black Bat leaned back, smug.

"Wait, tell the litterer he owes me $200. He was short last time."

"...Are you telling me Batman owes you money?"

"Yeah. He might be in financial straights, so I gave him some lee-way."

Black Bat and Spoiler looked at each other.

----

"Hey, so guess what I learned about sea boy!"

Bruce's head swiveled to her with startling intensity. The rest of the clan tuned in.

"He knows sign language! Maybe he even knows ancient sign language! And goes to school, but since he's like, dead, he could only listen to the lectures."

"Bruce, Bruce, do not start a ghost-education plan. Stop. We don't even know if he even-" Dick tackled Bruce, who was already writing a petition as Bruce Wayne to give partial credit to students that diligently goes to class.

"Oh, yeah!" Stephanie shouted over the unraveling chaos. "He promised to fuck with our Rogues for a bit so we can get a break! And we also got a bunch of guns!"

"Where? Gimme!" Jason demanded.

"Do not give Todd more firearms!" Damian cut in.

"Also!" Stephanie grinned as Cass shook with laughter. "Batman's a debtor! He owes Phantom $200!"

"Ain't no fucking way." Tim cackled. "Hear that Bruce? That's karma! For not defending me when he called me broke!"