#I mean it still sort of got where I was going

[jjscrybaby]

hiii :)

could you do a rafe x reader where the reader has a panic attack in front of sarah for the first and she knows to get the reader to rafe and he immediately calms her down?

rafe cameron x reader | hurt & comfort | (pogue!reader, mean girls, panic attack, crying, comforting!rafe, insecure!reader.)

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

No one figured Rafe Cameron would go for a Pogue. For all his life he’d been the number 1 Pogue hater, the biggest Kook defender, and overall just a pretentious asshole. That’s why it was the shock of the island when you showed up on his arm to Midsummer’s, wearing a dress that costed more than your rent with an anxious smile on your face.

Your boyfriend had promised to stick by your side for the entire night, and you were sure he meant it when he said it, but he hadn’t taken into account just how enthused the elders were going to be to see him. He wasn’t that teenage boy they knew anymore, instead a man living alone and dealing with his troubles; thanks to you.

It was halfway through the night when you went to the bathroom, the few glasses of champagne had your head feeling fuzzy and your bladder full. You locked yourself in the cubicle and started to do your business, before you heard voices from outside.

“It’s strange though, right?” The door closed behind the girls that had walked in, making you flinch as you stood to sort your dress out.

“Rafe with a Pogue. Yeah, definitely weird,” a squeaky voiced girl agreed with a laugh.

“It won’t last, trust me. He’s only with her for the image, it makes him look good to do charity for a girl like that. I’m pretty sure she’s a waitress at the club,” the other one responded.

“I’ll be sure to find him later and remind him of that.” The two of them giggled to themselves, gushing over how hot your boyfriend was for a couple more minutes before leaving. You didn’t step out of the cubicle until you were sure that you were alone, hot tears running down your cheeks.

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, or maybe it was the fact those girls had said everything you’d been thinking for the last few months you’d been together, you weren’t sure, but something about their words had hurt your feelings; and had sent you into a spiral. You sat down on the plush purple chair, breaths coming out rapidly and shakily.

“Oh my god, what happened?” You hadn’t even heard the door open, but as you turned your head you found Sarah rushing at you. She knelt down next to you, holding your hands as you let out fearful whimpers. “Fuck. Okay, stay here, okay? Don’t move!” She ran back out and you stared at the door, holding your chest anxiously.

Only a minute later the door was swinging open and Rafe was storming in, striding over to you. “Hey, hey. Look at me,” he demanded, gentle but firmly as he cupped your cheeks in his hands. “Breathe for me, okay? Slow breaths, you got it.”

He’d seen you like this a few times, he’d learnt the best ways to get you to relax. He held your hand over his own chest, feeling his heartbeat underneath your palm. He gave you a reassuring smile as you copied his breathing, gripping onto his fingers.

“Good girl,” he drawled, pulling you from the chair into his lap where he sat on the floor. He stroked your hair, leaving gentle kisses over your cheek. “You want to tell me what happened?”

“It’s stupid,” you croaked out, still gripping onto his hand.

“No. It’s not. Tell me what happened, so I can sort it out and get the both of us out of the women’s bathroom,” he joked, making you giggle tearfully.

You gave him a wobbly smile. You didn’t have much of a choice now, it was time to admit to him the insecurities you’d had over the last few months; the ones that kept you up at night as he slept soundly beside you. “No one here thinks I’m good enough for you.”

“What?” His face scrunched up in confusion. “Baby, what’re you talking about?”

“I— I’m a Pogue,” you whispered, as if you were admitting a crime.

“I know that,” he shrugged. “I’m not that oblivious, sweetheart. Why does that matter? Why are you saying this now?”

“Because everyone thinks it Rafe! I’m sure you have before, I know I have! Everyone here thinks you’re an idiot for being with me, that you’ve lost your mind. Maybe they’re right,” you cried out.

His hands grabbed your face firmly, leaning his forehead against your’s as he held you in place. “You’re the love of my life.”

“What?” You murmured.

“You are the love of my life. I don’t give a fuck if you’re a Pogue, I don’t care that you eat pizza like you’ve not eaten in years, or that you swear like a pirate. You’re my girl, and I love you. I don’t care about other peoples opinions, because they’re irrelevant,” he explained slowly, caressing your cheek as he spoke. “Now, do you want to go home or do you want to get the biggest bottle of champagne and make fun of these losers?”

“The second one,” you whispered, staring at him like a lovesick puppy.

He smirked, leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. “That’s my girl,” he mumbled, biting down on your bottom lip lightly to make you giggle. “Now, next time you get some dumb shit in your head you gonna tell me? Or do I have to spend all our loving conversations in the bathroom?”

You laughed, wiping your teary eyes as he helped you off his lap and back to your feet. He adjusted your flower crown with a cheesy grin, looking at you like you hung the moon and the stars. If you didn’t believe his words before, you definitely did now. “You don’t like the bathroom?”

“Well… it’s definitely nicer than the men’s, I’ll give you that.”

[senipsenipsenip]

Eventually, the scrapbook ended. The sun had fallen beneath the horizon hours ago, and some nagging part of Stan's brain was telling him kids shouldn't be up this late. Unless they're breaking into a mini golf course. He jerked his head back, furrowing his brow. That was...oddly specific.

"Grunkle Stan?" a little voice - Mabel - questioned. He looked down at his knee to see where his great-niece was sitting, eyeing him with no small degree of concern. "Are you okay?"

He ruffled her hair. "'Course, Pumpkin. Just trying to shake some of those memories back in the right place, huh?" He gave an exaggerated shake of his head, smacking the side like he was trying to get water out his ears. "Got a straggler! Hup! There we go," he grinned, lowering his hand. "Good as new!"

Whatever he said must have been the right thing, because Mabel's eyes had lit up like he'd told her he was turning the Mystery Shack into a cotton candy emporium and Dipper had a sudden death grip on his other leg.

"Geez kid, you're clawing through my pants here," he grumbled, making no move to take away his nephew's hand. "Haven't you chewed your nails off by now? How're they so sharp?"

"You called me Pumpkin," Mabel whispered.

"You remembered I chew my nails," Dipper said in awe. Then he frowned. "Hey, how come Mabel gets a nice one and I get a gross one."

Stan shrugged. "'Cause she's nice, and you're gross."

"Ha! Zoom!" Mabel pumped a fist in the air before collapsing back into Stan's lap in a fit of giggles. Dipper rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he settled back against Stan's other side. Ford stayed perched on the arm of the chair, smiling fondly, but eyebrows still drawn together.

"What's the matter, Sixer?" Stan frowned as Ford grimaced at the nickname. "What?"

Ford waved off Stan's concern. "It's nothing. It's..." Ford sighed. "I'm sorry. It's not nothing. I just don't want to..." He pursed his lips.

"Don't leave us hanging." There was a shake in Stan's voice, and Mabel shifted closer to her Grunkle.

"I'm glad this has been helpful to you," Ford muttered. "But...you don't remember everything. Not really."

"Whaddya mean?" Stan asked. "I remember you, the kids, Soos. The freeloading jerk who steals my sandwiches." Stan glared at Waddles who simply oinked and started trying to eat his shoelace. Whatever. Free pass for jump starting his memories. He better not get used to it.

Dipper sat up. "Yeah, what do you mean, Great Uncle Ford?"

Ford frowned. "I just... Hm." He seemed to be weighing something in his mind before turning to Stan with some resolve.

"Stanley," he began slowly. "I hope you appreciate what I'm about to do for you."

"That's not terrifyingly ominous," Stan muttered, glancing around at the available exits.

"Do you remember my - " Ford cleared his throat. "My first kiss?"

Stan froze. "What?"

"My first kiss, do you remember it?"

"I was there?"

"Yes. Unfortunately a lot of people were."

Mabel squealed beside Stan. "Ooo! Romance memories! How old were you? Was it high school? Was it a high school romance? Was it star-crossed love between the nerd and the cheerleader?"

"Mabel, I think Grunkle Stan is supposed to figure that stuff out."

Mabel sat up and stared at Stan expectantly. "Come on Grunkle Stan! I need details!"

Stan shook his head, nose wrinkling like he'd smelled something rotting. "How should I know? Who asks their brother that sort of thing?"

"Precisely." Ford spoke with the same air of professionalism he adopted when explaining his theories, despite the alarming shade of red his face was becoming. "So far it seems that your memories are returning based on external stimuli, whether that be Mabel's scrapbook or our own prompting."

"So, wait, you're saying I won't get all my memories back?"

"No! No that's not what I'm saying," Ford held up his hands. "What I'm saying is we can't expect them all to come back at once. And at the risk of turning the Shack into the set of the Johnny Carson show, we'll keep asking you questions."

Stan frowned. "What if I don't wanna remember my brother smooching some babe?"

Ford turned redder. "You do."

"I do? Geez, I was a perv."

"In the meantime," Ford pressed. "It's important to take note of any stimulus you experience that makes you remember something. Even if it doesn't paint the whole picture for you, we can fill in the blanks. Or prompt you to remember more details."

Dipper grinned. "And then we get to learn more about the secrets you've been hiding, old man."

Stan lifted his hand to give Dipper a well-earned noogie, but paused before he could make contact. "Old man...did you...did you tell me to shut up one time and then punched me?"

Dipper balked. "What? No I - "

"YEAH no WAY that'd be CRAZY!" Mabel interjected a bit too loudly. "Anyway let's get back to that kissing story, huh?"

"Actually Mabel, I don't know if I want to hear about Great Uncle Ford kissing anybody either."

"Oh come on, Dipper. Are you jealous that The Author got someone to kiss him and you didn't?"

"What? No!"

"Some girls like nerds."

"Mabel I don't want to think about anybody in this room kissing anybody."

"You could learn from him Dipper! Figure out how to wield your nerdish charms. Soon you'll be like a kissing machine!"

"MABEL -"

The twins were silenced by a sudden gasp from Stan. His eyes were wide and unfocused, his jaw hanging open as if someone had knocked the wind out of him.

"Holy - " he choked out softly.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper sat up fully. "Are you okay?"

Stan didn't acknowledge him, eyes darting around minutely.

"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked softly. "Did you remember something?" Moisture had begun to gather in the corners of Stan's eyes, one of his hands covering his mouth as he began to shake.

"Great Uncle Ford?" Dipper turned to Ford, worry stitching his brows together. But Ford didn't look worried. If anything, he looked like he wanted to disappear through the floor. His face was an alarming shade of red, nearly identical to his sweater. Stan let out another choked sound.

"Are you..." Mabel trailed off. "Grunkle Stan are you laughing?" He was quaking now, his hand falling from his mouth to reveal a wide, open-mouthed smile. He began slapping the arm rest with his free hand, eyes squeezed shut and tears rolling down his cheeks. Dipper and Mabel shared a look. Sure, they'd seen Stan laugh before, but it was usually a loud guffawing thing. They'd never seen him like this. They shared a tentative smile. Either this was the hardest they'd seen him laugh, or he had really snapped.

Ford seemed to pick up on their worry. "He's fine," Ford offered. "He's just...remembering my first kiss." At Ford's words, Stan let out a loud cackle, burying his face in his hands.

Mabel cocked her head. "But what's so funny about -"

"You children must be exhausted," Ford blurted out, standing abruptly. "Come now, go wash up then head to bed!"

"Oh no you don't!" Stan shouted. He wiped tears from his eyes, still smiling. "You're not getting out of this one, pal!"

"Stanley, this conversation is hardly appropriate for children -"

"You brought it up!"

"And now I'm putting a stop to it."

Stan grabbed his head. "Ooooo ow," he gave an exaggerated groan. "My poor head. The mean man won't let me share my memories so they're all going away!"

"Stanley, please don't joke about that."

"I'm fading away - "

"Stanley."

Stan crossed his arms. "You know, you really know how to take the fun out of amnesia."

"Yeah! Come on Grunkle Ford," Mabel pouted. "You can't just leave us hanging!"

"Yeah!" Dipper joined in. "If it's a funny story I want to hear it."

Ford spluttered, pulling at the sleeves of his sweater and looking around for an exit.

"Come on, Sixer," Stan chimed in. His eyes had gone soft around the edges. "I think the kids deserve a funny story."

After today went unspoken. Ford met Stanley's gaze, already feeling his resolve melting before he even turned to his grand-niece and nephew's inquisitive smiles.

"Alright," Ford conceded. "But to maintain the integrity of the exercise, Stanley will be the one to tell it. Whatever he doesn't remember, I can fill in."

Stan rubbed his hands together. "Oh boy, this'll be good."

"I regret this already."

"It's alright Great Uncle Ford," Dipper patted his shoulder. "We have a whole summer's worth of stuff we get to make fun of Grunkle Stan for. This just gives us stuff to use against you now. Levels the playing field."

Ford frowned. "Is that meant to be comforting?"

Dipper shrugged.

"Alright you two, enough yapping." Stan grinned, leaning forward in his seat and spreading his hands out in front of him. It was the same way he started his campfire tales. Mabel and Dipper met each other's eyes and smiled.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl named Kiss-Bot..."

[shydroid3000]

#i keep thinking about this & cartesian dualism #like light. your body is YOU. #every part of it is YOU. your body is not just a cage for your mind#death note

@dancing-lex Your tags are making me think about something: So yeah, super yes with the Cartesian dualism connection. And in that vein.... Descartes framed non-human animals as automata who were not thinking/feeling but mechanistic. This view he used to justify vivisection on live animals, which he practiced/advocated for. (Now, vivisection was a common scientific practice then, but Descartes was notable for arguing that non-human animals did not actually feel pain or anything else, and thus something like vivisection was akin to taking apart a machine). Which..... I mean, can't help but remind me of the King of Justification, Light Yagami, ya know?? I mean, Descartes justifying vivisection as an act that was like totally fine and not something to feel bad about *at all*... is not that unlike Light going to great lengths to justify murdering (initially) two people, and then tens of thousands more. 'Cause murder is bad, but... the world is rotten and *his* specific kind of murder of a specific *kind* of person will actually make the world a better place. And he's the only one who could do it, so really it's his responsibility to. And I mean, vivisection did bring advancements and benefits for human society (and animal testing continues). And Kira brought certain ostensible benefits too. But in both cases, they rely on a fundamental devaluation of certain kinds of life. And with Descartes, a devaluation that involved reducing non-human life to nothing more than mechanical, things that experienced no more of an inner life than a clock. And while that's obviously not what Light thinks, it does feel like there's a sort of undercurrent of something similar there for him. I mean, the way he uses certain people around him as though, to him, they were simply tools (Misa, Takada, Mikami...). And the people he kills... the way they're engaged with mostly as just a category to him, rather than full individuals each with their own inner lives. I mean, in a way, he takes this sort of mechanistic view of the whole of human society. Something for Kira to take apart and reform so that it operates more smoothly. And like Descartes cutting into a living being, it really is okay for Light/Kira to slice into human society, remove an eye (for an eye), even stop its heart. And it's okay to not feel bad about the screams, really, because... well, he's God of the New World, and this is what a god does, and he's still *good* deep down, because it's all for a greater good. After all, humans are to a God kind of like what other animals are to a human, right? So he doesn't have to hurt inside when he hears whispers of screams on the wind, sees life fading from eyes in each sunset... right? Anyway, the framework of Cartesian dualism is really interesting to think about. It almost seems like to Light, he and L are the only two people he truly, truly conceives of as thinking beings in a way that really 'counts'. (Putting aside perhaps his family who I do think he values in his certain way). Like, other people walk around in their bodies having thoughts and feelings. But Light and L are minds, rational minds, in a way that transcends the more embodied existence of other humans. Anyway this feels so rambly and messy haha. It's very late (/early in the morning haha) where I am, so it may not entirely be coherent and I don't have the mental power to re-read and edit it haha. But your tags got my brain spinning, because the Cartesian dualism framework is an interesting lens to view Light through..!

Light is someone who perceives a very strong separation between the body and the mind, and is very disconnected from his own body. And I do wonder if, by nature of them being so similar, this is something he projects onto L as well; & helps him divorce the thought of the death of L's body (ie. his shell) from the death of L's mind (ie. his true self). So Light kills the body, the part of L that isn't really him, to incapacitate his mind, not kill it. He's compartmentalized it in such a way where he doesn't have to think of death as being true death.

It isn't until Light is about to die himself that he is able to mentally bridge the connection between his body & his own conscious existence, and realize what it really means to die.

[manmuncher777]

Gojo trying out something new with you…

18+ SMUTTTT

“T-Toru- oh my god” Satoru currently had you folded in half, like a fucking deck chair in the most brutal mating press of your life. Your sweaty palms trying to keep grip on the back of your knees as he had decided to be mean today and make you hold your own legs up, instead of doing that work for you. Your mouth hanging open with every sharp thrust of his, feeling his bulbous tip practically kiss your cervix.

You’s been like this for hours now, saturo deciding he wasn’t feeling as nice today. Edging you to the point of crying. Hot salty tears that streamed down you face, dragging little bits of mascara with them.

Gojo quite liked this look on you, no he loved it. It made him feel feral. glancing over your fucked out features; your glossy lips, covered in saliva and precum. Your eyes, shining brightly with the tears he had caused. But oh you looked so pretty when you tried to stop them from rolling back into your head. The makeup you had spent an hour on, now streaking down your face so beautifully like some sort of modern art painting. This was when you looked most beautiful to him.

“Hold those legs up for me pretty, I need a good view of my girl.”he breathed out, slight pauses in his sentence with each thrust he delivered. His balls slapping heavily against the skin of your ass, the sound echoing around the room so deliciously. Vulgar noises a that filled the air, turning you on even more.

You tried your best to listen to the glistening man above you, but fuck he was just making you feel so good. It was hard to concentrate on controlling your hands when all you could think about was how he was slipping in and out of your welcoming walls. The way his abs glistened and tensed with each thrust, the huge biceps wither side of your head. You were certain you could cum just from looking at him.

You looked down to where you both met, watching as a ring of white formed around the base of his thick cock. That made you falter for a second.

A mistake

Your hands slipped, releasing you legs. You didnt have the power to raise them again to fix your mistake; all your muscles weak due to the excercise satoru was putting you through right now.

“Oh no, just when you were being so good for me sweetheart” he fake pouts at you, cooing teasingly in your ear. “Go on, pick them up.” he ordered, but you couldnt do anything but whimper pathetically underneath him, his words going in one ear and out the other.Another mistake.

You were soon snapped out of your little daydream to a slap on the side of your face, more of a tap really, but it was hard enough to bring a little gasp from you.

“Pick them up baby, now.” he glared at you, his eyes more demanding now. His eyes threatening you, daring you to ignore him again.

“Satoru..” you whined at him, sulking like a baby, but you didnt dare leave your legs. With all your might you raised them again, hooking your hand underneath and bringing your ankles as far up to your ears as you could possibly manage. This wasn’t fair, he was fucking the shit out of you and still expected you to do the heavy lifting.

“Oh well that got you to listen didn’t it?” he teased again, cocky smirk on his face. “Does my sweet girl - fuck - do you like being slapped around sweetheart?” He quizzed you. Very interested in your response. He knew you were kinky, but this was something new.

You were trying so hard to listen, but the way he was stretching you over him right now, merciless pounds of his cock against you walls. You could hardly think. All you could think about was how well he was moulding you to him, you could feel every single vein on his cock as he fucked you. Every single grove and curve that had your back arching off the bed, craving more

Another slap, a little harder this time. The gentle tingling across your features brought your doe eyes to his menacing ones. The look he was giving you, an air of authority clung to it. He really knew how to get you worked up. “I asked you a question sweets?”

He already knew the answer, he just wanted you all pathetic for him. He chuckled as he watched you try to form an answer

He wasn’t giving you an easy time. You cried out under him weakly, trying to form works as one of his hands travelled down between you, rubbing fast circles on your bundle of nerves. “Yes- oh- yes toru. I love it! oh god- yes” You couldnt help but clench around him, his dominance, his face. It was driving you crazy.

For a split second you saw a glint of something in his eyes, soemthing devilish. Before they quickly roll back at the feeling of you tightening around him “Shit baby, yeah you do.”

God you were practically milking him, the way your warm walls sucked him back in each time he pulled back. the slick that was covering his lower torso, shit you did like it rough.

He watched intently as you eyes screwed shut from pleasure, with the way you were writhing beneath him, trying to run from hos grasp he could tell you were close.

Another slap, harder. The tingling feeling back again, something so sensual and delicious with the light sting.

“nuh uh sweets, don’t try and run from it. Just take it like a good girl.” fuck his words were driving you crazy. Your tried to listen to him, but with all the edging from earlier that evening, it made it so much more difficult.

A few more strokes of his thick cock and you were about to cum, not before another slap. Shit this hot, the way he was throwing you about, roughing you up.

You could help but let out a scream as you came, the feeling overwhelming you as you creamed all over Gojos cock, a sticky white ring forming around his base. You came from a slap, shit. But lord it hurt so good.

“oh there she is, good girl, let go for me baby.” he whimpered out. Whimpered

You were squeezing him so deliciously, he could feel how wet you are. Not able to stop himself from watching himself enter you over and ver again as you squirmed from overstimulation.

He shuddered as he came, legs tightening, hips stuttering. His voice let out a chesty groan as he shot white ropes of thick cum inside you.

This was certainly something satoru was going to use against you.

[joejhang]

my problem with raven!neil

this may be controversial but i've actually found that i don't rlly like raven!neil fics and aus. and here is my thesis. spoilers ahead continue at ur own risk.

crucial distinction here is that i don't actually dislike the concept of "raven!neil" as an individual character concept. i think it's actually very interesting to look into the sort of person neil would be if things had been slightly different. that is, obviously, the point of au fics and headcanons. my actual problem with raven!neil is mostly when fic writers and the fandom in general put him in context and into au fics and then the problems start arising. i'm being purposefully vague but i'm gonna go into all the problems i've come across when it comes to raven!neil.

first off, and this is something i've mentioned before, i think the fandom tends to strip abuse victims (particularly the characters who got out of the nest) of literally any agency or individuality. this happened with jean, when the whole fandom seemed to collectively uwufy him as if he isn't an adult (yes he's young yes he's barely an adult but he IS and i would argue thinking of him as a child still does him no good) with massive amounts of trauma. yes, jean has a learned fear of riko and tetsuji (and coaches by extension bc of the abuse from raven coaches) but he actually doesn't harbour much fear towards anyone else? he has come to expect violent retribution/punishment and does sort of have this problem where he bares his throat for the knife (when he puts the racquet in rhemann's hands and when he expects laila to hit him back) but other than that he actually doesn't demonstrate a lot of fear or panic when engaging with others.

i think the same would go for neil. the neil in current canon quite literally has no fears that do not trace back to his father. he doesn't fear riko, tetsuji, ichirou, andrew, drake or even lola and his father's men. where he does show fear is whenever his father gets involved. he isn't afraid of riko or anything riko has to say until riko brings nathan wesninski into it. the closest thing he comes to fear for anyone else is when he flinches from wymack but i'd call that survival instinct rather than like...fear. he doesn't have much of an emotional response, just an instinctual and physical one.

we obviously have no idea how neil's fear would develop if he had grown up at the nest. i'm not sure how much of a difference it would've made, honestly. obviously, those eight years on the run heavily reinforced his fear, so i don't really know where that fear would go if he was stagnant at the nest and confirmed (?) to be safe from his father. i think one of neil's key personality traits actually is his bravery and fearlessness, so i can't really see neil ever being truly afraid of tetsuji and riko. if you want to compare jean and neil in this aspect, all i'd say is: people have different responses for trauma. neil is not jean 2.0 or vice versa. even if they were put in virtually the same environment with the same treatment, they are still different people with different personalities. thus, they respond in different ways. just like jean and kevin responded in different ways, though their situations are implied to have been very different.

besides the point of fear and object of fear, i don't actually think being afraid of ur abusers means ur a baby that should be coddled and uwufied by the fandom. it's actually completely normal and human, so i actually have no clue why the fandom decided to do this with jean.

as someone in the tags of one of my previous posts so aptly said, autonomy ≠ agency. did kevin and jean have autonomy in the nest? no. but they did have agency. stripping abuse victims of agency and personality is actually so harmful and i think it's way too normalised in fandom culture. but that's a discussion for another day. we've all heard the comparison of the fear responses in relation to andrew (fight), neil (flight), kevin (freeze) and jean (fawn). i actually think these are mostly accurate, but it doesn't do any good to simplify it so completely.

neil having to remain sedentary rather than running away and never stopping or looking back is inevitably going to alter his responses to situations. neil's knee-jerk reaction to traumatic events or news in the og trilogy is literally: go on a run. this might still be the case in the nest, but i doubt it. i've said before that i think neil is the type of person to fight back. u could argue in response to that that jean was also fierce and angry when he got to the nest but developed something akin to learned helplessness where he simply stopped fighting back as a trauma response. but again: neil and jean are not the same person. they may have similar personalities, but everyone is different. you can't boil down all the victims of a particular abusive situation into the same person. this is stripping them of agency and individuality, once again. jean learned to stop fighting back and even ask for violent punishment for "wrongdoing" but i honestly don't think neil would. again, not because he's superior or inferior to jean, he's just a different person entirely. his time at evermore in trk was effectively a trial run for the time that riko intended neil to spend there after the year ended. we don't know exactly, but it's probably safe to assume that riko tried to cram as much of the abuse that kevin and jean received over several years into those two/three weeks. i mean, neil got fucking waterboarded and handcuffed to the bed for fuck's sake. i think at some point neil does say that he bowed his head and played at subservience, but when it really came down to riko and tetsuji trying to force neil to do something he adamantly did not want to do (sign the raven's contract) he literally just refused and didn't relent even under torture. jean even said he thought riko might've killed neil for it. neil was literally ready to die rather than bend to riko's will.

obviously, things would be different with kevin and jean in the equation. i can see neil reining himself in for their sake, but this brings me to another issue i have with raven!neil. and that is the strange need to turn neil into a protector figure. i.e. a human meat shield with a martyr complex for kevin and jean. every time i sense any iteration of this in any fic or hc i literally have to stop reading. it's just so...like random to me. neil has literally not been a "protector" in canon in fact he's almost always the one being "protected" (andrew's deal to literally protect neil from his father, wymack and abby's protectiveness, etc). yes, neil has protective instincts but so does literally every human being. neil is, in my opinion, no more or less protective than anyone else. compare this to say, andrew, who is known for his role as the "protector" (beating up the guys who hurt nicky, killing aaron's mother + getting rid of his addiction, making deals w kevin + neil). i've also written another extensive essay about why neil isn't and will never be the martyr or sacrificial lamb that some ppl seem to want him to be, so i won't go into it here. just please please please read the series back and realise: neil is quite literally the opposite of a martyr. i just have no idea where the idea of neil as a martyr or protective figure came in. especially in regards to kevin and jean.

it bears noting the first time neil meets riko with kevin there. at kathy's, neil doesn't hesitate to defend kevin and clock riko's shit. but note: defending ≠ protecting. and even if you do want to call that protecting, neil's way of "protecting" has never been in a martyring, self-sacrificial, human shield way. he is almost always on the offensive (clocking riko rather than directly defending kevin, punching riko, etc etc). neil is a natural instigator, and it would be such a disservice to him to erase that characteristic of his in raven!neil fics.

there are also several times in the series where neil's offensive actions have consequences that directly impact his loved ones and other people. like the first time neil insulted riko, a man literally died. the second time, drake attacked andrew. the third, neil took a trip to hell on earth and spent three weeks at evermore. the fourth, the foxes' and other athletes' cars got trashed. there's probably more that i'm not remembering, but you get the idea. neil feels guilt but never regret for this. he literally says verbatim that he isn't sorry for what he said about riko/the ravens even after the cars get wrecked and the others seem to blame him. so while i can see neil ducking his head and submitting to prevent jean/kevin getting hurt, it's also worth noting that if neil really cared that much about consequences, he probably would've stopped openly and loudly insulting riko in public after seth was murdered the first time. neil knew, or at least had a hunch, that it was his fault. did that stop him from doing it again? hell no. it can be both a character flaw and strength, but it's also just a fact. neil does not think that much about consequence. he sort of just does what he wants when he wants. it's a part of his personality. while there's no telling what about his personality would've changed at the nest, the fact that ten years living with a mob boss serial killer and eight years on the run from said mob boss serial killer didn't seem to kill that mouth of his, idk what would.

my final point is that when the raven!neil fic has andreil in it, it turns into andrew "saving" neil from his situation. words can't explain how much i hate this take on things. especially when it usually comes out of nowhere as well. bfr, andrew is not gonna risk his life to "save" some pretty redhead that comes his way without some pre-established connection. i also just think the idea of a "saviour" in a relationship is actually insane. as someone who is consistently pissed off and triggered by imbalance in relationships, this irritates me to no end. andreil obviously are protective and care for each other. that's a known fact. but i feel like w raven!neil fics they tend to exaggerate this and make it insanely one-sided. like andrew is some superhero type figure that needs to save damsel-in-distress neil who has a penchant for out-of-character martyrdom and is trapped in a horribly abusive situation. it sounds like i'm just hyperbolising no this is actually in all of the raven!neil fics that i've read. this exact dynamic. i hate it oh my god. it's not only entirely out of character i don't even think it works for them. like this should not be what their relationship is about or based off of. this last bit might just be a personal thing but i just hate hate hate it and it feels so wrong to force andreil into this kind of a dynamic. just leave my boys alone i'm BEGGING.

the aftg fandom does have this problem that should be addressed where they tend to coddle and uwufy abuse victims (particularly kevin, neil and jean in the context of the nest) and strip them down to easily digestible stereotypes. but this literally could not be further from the truth in canon. y'all forget how actually bitchy neil, jean and kevin are as individuals. kevin's fear of riko and tetsuji is bone-deep, but that never stopped him from picking fights with the foxes and hitting back whenever they had a problem w him (the only exception being andrew, but kevin already said, he lets andrew walk him like a dog out of sort-of thanks that andrew is letting him stay at psu). jean is also sort of an asshole (affectionate) back in the og trilogy and lowk in tsc too. he has a seemingly endless supply of insults for literally everyone and literally thinks about breaking jeremy's fingers for treating him too warily. he consistently gets annoyed when the trojans are too careful with him and remember when he literally threw jeremy to the floor during practice? yeah. seriously, stop boiling down these very traumatised individuals to their fear and history of abuse and erase any other part of their personality that makes them an interesting, well-rounded individual. it's so irritating to read and have to deal with the gross misinterpretation and mischaracterisation of these very well-loved characters. they deserve better, and these things also bely some very pertinent issues within fandom culture at large that should be talked about and critiqued more. jesus this is long anyway thank you for reading.

[cryptid-killjoy]

"Cool, we're the pineapple under the sea crew if Iorek's in."

Normal chatter until Livvy came up. There was Figaro looking on the bright though.

"True. She's not dead. At least I'm not mourning her legendary pirate soul." He started to grin at the simple act of calling her a pirate recalling how she got her name to begin with. It was so silly. How could he not smile? Then it fell. "Pretty sure she wouldn't want to see me if we did bump into each other." Then it started to grow again. "But watching her attempt to ignore, act cool, or act audacious, whichever would be cute either way." He chuckled at the thought wondering where her instinct would take her.

As for missing the randomness of people in society for these two social creatures Will was nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what I mean. We need chile, Smalls. I'm more used to life being a chilli cook off actually. Not just Skyline versus Goldstar, but a god damn county fair cook off any day I feel like not being in the walls. You hit the nail on the head there. Some days I even want a Chilli Dog."

Nothing got his smile to spread more than the mention of Hansel. His time in the walls was special to him. But, oh the phrasing, in the closet. He laughed out loud. "Don't crush me with ideas, Smalls. Hansel's a handsome guy." Willem would hardly be ashamed to admit he got off with a couple girls more on the idea Hansel might have been peeking through the secret wall holes and believing he was giving him a show than the thought of the girls he was with. He never said these sorts of thoughts out loud though. Hansel was probably that best friend secret soft-crush he'd never move on because A. dude was straight, and B. he'd never want to hurt Funkytown if something went wrong even if he wasn't straight. He started to realize flirting with Diana too much started to be an issue. He never wanted to hurt a doll in any way. Either way he sure didn't mind giving Hansel a show and enjoyed it.

When they got out of the bus it was hard not to notice the amount of corpse debris strewn about. He flared his nostrils on first foul breath. He put the back of his wrist up to his nose. "You might want to wear that around your neck. Damn." His brows furrowed as his face cringed unable to stop inhaling in the pungent odor due to need for breathing. He'd smelled worse, especially in the beginning, but he still wasn't used to it no matter how long he'd lived in Feral.

All he could even think to say about Quarantine was, "That's Feral for ya." It was hardly shocking even if his nose still disliked it.

Another big smile spread when he saw Figaro with a rather large weapon. "Hell yeah. That's what I'm talking 'bout. Dear Davey Jones. You look so... kick ass."

The best part of Bastien and his hoarding and their strange nothing you need store is everything that's expensive is nothing but a treasure hunt away. This appealed to Willem's pirate looting side. Bastien had a tendency to hoard anything and everything and organized in a system of his own design. Willem was more specific with his looting. That said one can best bet Wild Will came home to Funkytown one day with the Resident Evil VRs for his horror movie watching household. He brought enough headsets for half the dolls to play and even modded them to fit smaller dolls heads. Of course, the Polly Pockets and action figure sized were still out of luck, but he tried to make them user friendly. It was one of his own favorite loots.

"Yes, and please." He was ready to go up and check out the dolls that were haunting his mind tonight. He knew he wasn't going to sleep well if he didn't go check on them. So, he led Figaro on up to Livvy's old apartment. Willem had over time even gotten the key to the front door to the place because he heard of Frank's people races for Feral. The reality was most didn't make it beyond the race and if they did, they weren't prepared for what Feral was. The zombies got them before they had a chance to settle in, but on the off chance someone was a tough cookie that survived the Feral trials he wanted to keep this one space safe. So, he'd be seen pulling out a key of his own and unlocking her apartment as if it was his own. It wasn't a difficult item to acquire when the Landlord's office was abandoned.

"This is it." He knew Figaro wanted to rummage her uncle's belongings, but he still walked back to Livvy's room first.

"Her room is back here."

The shelving unit he made that Livvy never saw would be there, installed, and covered neatly in her collection of dolls and figurines. They were all lined up with care and placed at aesthetically pleasing angles.

He reached in for the mermaid first and sat on the edge of her bed. "I love this one." He said before kicking off the portion of his costume that made his feet look like hooves. They were getting uncomfortable, and it was a show he was making himself comfortable and intended to stay for a while. He was in no rush.

He took a dust cloth that was sitting off on a side table and wiped it off. It was still sitting there from last time he'd been in along with some Windex and dust spray. He intended to wipe down the shelves and tend to each one like he always did.

"She loved this one." He added. The Livvy Mermaid. Maybe he was a glutton for punishment, but he enjoyed letting the memories whirl around his head as he touched each one that were living in boxes before he pulled them out, like a collector too afraid to open them up afraid of them losing value instead of enjoying them. The only difference was he knew that wasn't why she kept them in the box. Willem always saw Livvy as another little giant too busy trying to be what she wasn't or who she thought others needed her to be to enjoy who she was. That's why he knew those dolls were loved even shoved in the back of a closet in boxes instead of given away, donated, or sold off. It was thoughts like that which Livvy never quite knew or understood about Willem because they never dwelled long on depths of each other, but it was still thoughts like that which kept Willem attached. It was too close to home.

"Every now and again I think about bringing them all back to Funkytown, but I think they'll worry they might miss her if she comes back." He'd say as if they were actually alive and had thoughts and feelings even all of these didn't have any of the Geppetto magic on them. Willem believed he understood all the feelings of dolls even when they didn't.

"They don't get too lonely. They have each other." He let Figaro know in case they were worried. It had been a worry of his.

He looked more at peace in there than at the ball. "You don't have to sit here while I tidy them. You can go exploring like you wanted. I can meet you in there when I'm done if you want?" He had a feeling Figaro would get bored watching him dust the figurines and shelves and fluff the dolls.

“I am feeling pretty jolly,” Figaro admitted. Seeing their father was bittersweet but there was a lot of good to take away from that. He was watching over them. And he was proud. The ghosts of their Merry Men friends stuck around. There wasn’t much reason to not be jolly.

“I think I’d make a sick Larry,” Figaro hummed as they careened the bus down the mountain road. “Hey Iorek, you wanna be Gary?”

The bear let out a sound that sounded half-whine, half yawn. Figaro looked over their shoulder at him.

“Mrs. Puff? You want to be Mrs goddamn Puff?” They said, with wide eyes. “Damn. I didn’t know you wanted to go for sex appeal. Let’s fuckin do it.”

They nodded, not having much of an opinion either way of whether Livvy was still going to be active in their lives or not. “Hey, she’s alive though, that’s something,” They said. Not a lot of people were these days. “So there’s a chance that you’ll be able to see her again.”

Looking on the bright side wasn’t always their forte but when it came to Will? Goddamn, they really wanted him to be happy. Even if it was with someone like Livvy. That girl had made him smile, while also being frustrating at the same time. Messy - but at least he was showing his teeth.

“You’re right about that, I miss meeting people,” Figaro said, eyes on the road, their voice actually being serious. “Nothing against our friends obviously but - yeah. Variety in the spice of life and we’re not getting that. I’m growing sick of paprika, I want some chile.”

They didn’t mean this romantically, obviously, but they were a social being. There was nothing shy about Figaro. They’d just pop in and make themselves at home, that’s how they made a lot of their friends. And either they gott rejected, or they were invited in as if they had always been there. Meeting Flotsam, as if they had been instant best friends the moment that they met. The high school cafeteria table where they sat, despite not really talking to Arthur and Lance, boom, as if they had been sitting together since kindergarden. And then inviting Willem over to live with them despite only having spoken for a couple of days. They tested that chemistry with a lot of people. And now there wasn’t anyone to pop up on.

Figaro agreed though. Willem did need a certain kind of chaos in his life. “Maybe she’ll surprise ya one day,” They offered. Granted, it seemed HIGHLY unlikely that Delta was ever going to invite in someone like Livvy, a human that didn’t offer that much to her at all. Not without killing her or something similar. But regardless. Stranger things have happened.

They chuckled as they heard Willem sing and joined in with the tune. “-in the closet, that’s Hansel, he’s a bit shy so don’t scream too much!”

They parked up by the playground and looked out the windshield at the building. This area didn’t get much upkeep in Feral. Willem was the only one who really ever came to it. Old blood - once a bright red but now a brick-brown, blended into the walls, and a few bodies still lay around, decomposing. Figaro grabbed the Dragon-Fruit Little Tree air freshener from the mirror and wrapped it around their wrist. “Man, I hate the smell of the dead in the morning,” They sighed.

The bodies didn’t smell too much. It was mostly just bones and a bit of ooze. Being left out in the elements like the sun and the rain definitely had their effects. But they took a big whiff of the air freshener before daring to step outside.

It was still dark, the sky only lightening slightly, as they approached the building. It seemed so desolate. It didn’t need the Frank and Delta treatment to be spooky. “Why am I getting REC vibes? Quarantine? I wish I had a machete.”

That’s when they spotted something glistening. “Oh hey, a dead cop. Oooooh, hey, a dead cop’s gun!” They said, going towards it and took it out of the corpse’s fingerbones. “Now we’re going Resident Evil, baby. Let’s go hang out with some cool dolls.”

[vampirejohn]

And if I want snippets from all 3 WIPs?????

spike ily quite literally anything for you

and i still call home is the big bang sized preseries deanjohn fic nobody asked for. dean gets john to let him and sam stay in town while sam finishes school (and dean gets to play housewife!!). he doesn't exactly mention it's so sam can go to college, which ofc ends well (i'm lying 😈)

He rolled on his side and spread a nervous hand over John’s waist, and then moved down to feel the hard, thick length of him through his jeans. He had to bite back a groan, his own cock twitching valiantly at the thought of getting to see it, really see it, not just in casual passing the way you did when you lived with someone your whole life. But then John took his wrist, pushed him off. “It’s okay,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m good like this.” “But—” Bemused, Dean shifted sort of awkwardly. “It just… doesn’t seem all that fair to you.” John’s eyes narrowed, the line of his mouth going flat and mean. “Why don’t you let me worry about what’s fair to me?” Dean rolled onto his back again so he didn’t have to look at him, hot behind his ears. Maybe this was new for John—and that was admirable, really—but Dean didn’t remember a time when it wasn’t like this for him. The wanting was born somewhere between tucking him in and holding his hands steady around pistols and pool cues and watch out for Sammy, between dental floss stitches in motel bathrooms and it was never supposed to be like this and it’s okay, Dad and you really want to talk about Sam right now? Dean had been capable of this during all of it.

deanjohn dv screening ✨

“You know we’ve been here a couple of hours already, right? Costs an arm and a leg to park here, too.” “There’s a bit of a wait for the X-ray machine, unfortunately. We’re a smaller hospital.” The nurse was still pulling and turning Dean’s wrist, like there was some threshold of pain she had to put him in before she was allowed to give him some goddamned painkillers. “I promise we’ll get him in as soon as we can.” She raised her eyes to Dean’s for a moment, and he took the opportunity to give her an apologetic smile, the one reserved for civilians caught up in John’s wrath. She didn’t return it, mouth turning down into a frown for just a split second. Finally, she let Dean go, turning her attention on John. “Sir, would you mind stepping out for just one second? There’s a few more diagnostics we’d like to run on Dean.” John’s eyes narrowed infinitesimally, only noticeable if you knew to look for it. “I’m good here,” he said, planting his feet more firmly. Dean rolled his eyes. “It’s fine. Do whatever you have to do.” She studied Dean for a moment, and then nodded decisively. “Alright. Give me a few moments.” She wasn’t out of the room two seconds before John said, “The hell was that about?” Dean was busy trying to find a comfortable position to lay his wrist in his lap. “They think you’re beating me,” he snapped. He watched John’s face turn to stone. “And why the hell would they think that?” “Because you’re being an asshole.” Dean stopped to hiss as a twinge of shocky pain shot up his arm. “Look. If they try to get me alone again, just play along, alright? So we can get off their radar.”

deanjohn abo au is my s1 au deanjohn/samdean double feature, where sam figures out that dean let john claim him and goes absolutely bonkers over it

“You’re fucking deranged. You think you're defending my honor or something? Because I got news for you—ever since you found out, you’ve been stomping around, whining like a jealous bitch. Spineless too, like pretending this is about Dad makes it okay. There something you want from me, Sam? Speak up.” Sam didn’t, only pressed his arm harder across Dean’s throat when he tried to move again. Dean’s mouth curled into a nasty grin. “It’s driving you crazy, isn’t it? Thinking about him on top of me. His knot inside me. D’you think about me begging for it? ‘Cause I do, Sammy, I beg him to shove it so deep I can’t fucking breathe, to put me on my knees and fucking knock me up. Just curious—would you prefer a little brother or a sister?” “You don’t have to convince me you’re a fucking whore, Dean.” The last thing Dean remembered before the world tilted and went black was rearing back and spitting in Sam’s face.

[weaselle]

i seem to always have a comfort drink. Like my baseline comfort drink is coffee -- even when i've been homeless and in the rain, or derailed mid travel plan and stuck in place with no idea what to do, if i can get a cup of coffee, i can have some small amount of feeling okay and like i have agency in my fate.

But coffee is just the baseline, i usually have some other drink that occupies the top spot of the day (actually more like of the month or season)

Not so much this winter but the two winters before this, my comfort drink was actually just any spicy broth (i particularly liked spicy shrimp like the ramen packets but without the noodles and i'd add a bunch of sriracha - like, a LOT a lot - or a broth made from chicken stock but proper simmered the chicken bones for a few hours stock, also with a bunch of hot sauce or cayenne)

Right now my comfort drink is a cup of this tea

with a packet of this

but you don't have to use the whole packet, you just use it as sweetener and add basically as much as you would add sugar or honey - i usually add about half a packet and it's still pretty sweet, tonight i wanted something as sweet as hot chocolate, so i used the whole packet, and it is hitting *chef's kiss* but i'm not always in the mood for so much sweet

with the tea bag, not only is the drink more delicious than the apple cider alone when using the whole packet of cider, but you never thin out the spiced flavor of the apple cider too much to taste good, because you've got the spice base sorted already, so you can really control the sweetness to your liking without sacrificing flavor.

I've also quite enjoyed the same thing with this tea

as well as liking it with a lemon zinger and a black "chai" which in the states seems to mean black tea with like, pumpkin pie spices (you know, allspice, clove, cinnamon and i always put a little ginger in my pumpkin pies too, anyone else?)

there's probably at least a dozen other teas in any big grocery store that would go good with apple cider too.

Hot Chocolate?

For that i go straight to the spice drawer. Start by making sure you include some milk or half and half or something, if microwaving you can mix half a mug of water and half of whole milk, or you can do like 1/4 mug of half&half or cream and just mix it with the water and mic it. That's where i'm coming from i'm not talking super gourmet by any means. But for all the gods' sake put some milk, even rice milk or almond milk or coconut milk in there to give your hot chocolate some bones.

Sorry, i mean if you just use water the hot chocolate will always feel too thin and unsatisfying, and you'll find you're trying to fix it by adding more and more of the powder until it almost becomes a syrup and then the chocolate taste is a bit strong by then. But if you have a cup of fats and proteins and natural sugars and things to start as your base, you get a drink that feels big and thick and rich and filling the way hot chocolate in your fantasy is. Or whatever, i don't know you, maybe you like watery thin hot chocolate as a hydrating drink while playing ice hockey or something who knows. Personally, sometimes i'll just straight up use a mug full of half & half or use a bunch of heavy cream if i'm feeling particularly decadent.

regardless, what i recommend is: you grab your instant cocoa powder of choice, and before you put it in your preferred liquid you mix at least a couple of these other powders into it.

a dash of cinnamon a sprinkle of nutmeg a dusting of powdered ginger a bit of ground cayenne a pinch of salt

You can do it per mug or you can premix your whole canister of hot chocolate.

For me, the cayenne and salt are mandatory. Huge difference, the salt really plays up the chocolate flavor and while ideally you probably don't actually taste the salt, but even if you put in enough that it's a little salty, the effect is like salted caramel. Like, sometimes i do it on purpose. And cayenne and chocolate is just one of my favorite combinations ever. So.

BUT! i've also had good results starting with a mug of whole milk and brewing in a bag of something like this

before adding plain instant hot chocolate (and l little bit of salt)

anyway, my little drink recipe fiddles

[scoops-aboy86]

wc: 647 | Rating: T | CW: mentions of infidelity, technically hurt no comfort because I haven’t written the part where they make up | Additional Tags: future fic, famous Eddie Munson, past Steddie

Okay, look. The tv was on in the background, and Ross and Rachel were breaking up, and this happened in my head. I’m posting it for Fuck It Friday because fuck it. The only thing getting me through life right now is cough drops.

Hell of a Time at the Wake

“Yeah, haven’t had a drink or touched any drugs in five years, as of last month.”

“Oh wow, so that’s from before Corroded Coffin made it big.” The interviewer chuckles. “Usually it’s the fame and rehab that come first.”

“I prefer to think of myself more as regionally notorious, but sure. Never did the rehab thing, though.”

“Well, what’s the story there?”

Behind their frontman, the rest of the band shares a look. “Oh, we don't need to—” 

“Nah, Jeff, it’s okay man.” Eddie waves them off, then turns back to the interviewer. “Back before we hit the road to make a name for ourselves, I was seeing someone back home. I mean, the someone. The one. But we kept having this same… not really a fight, just this thing: I wanted to leave town, they didn’t. And then finally we had this huge blowout about it that started as something else and somehow turned into that again, which turned into both of us storming off. They went home, and I went out and got completely shitfaced, and in the morning I woke up with someone whose name I didn’t even know in bed with me.”

The interviewer winces. 

“Yeah. And when you do something shitty like that, it’s going to come out sooner or later. Or pretty much immediately, in this case, which.” Eddie grimaces and shrugs. “Well, it gave us something else to fight about, that’s for sure. I knew I’d fucked up bad, but it took hours of back and forth before I realized that we were done done. Trust completely obliterated, no way to come back or move on from that, just… over.”

There’s a pause where he stares off into space for a moment, stuck on a memory. Then he shakes himself and refocuses. 

“Anyway, at some point during my doomed attempt to salvage things, I swore I’d never have another drink ever again. Which, the being drunk of it all wasn’t really the problem, so saying that didn’t buy me anything, but… even after it ended, I didn’t. I’d been so fucked up that night, and it wasn’t the booze so much as the fear of it being over that made me a one man self-fulfilling prophecy—but I hurt someone I loved more than anything, and I never wanted let myself get that fucking stupid again, so. I haven’t. And honestly, I sleep better knowing that.”

“Wow.” The interviewer is staring at him, stunned. Probably doesn’t get a lot of this sort of thing, not just because of all the wild rockstars and other celebrities that come on the show with stories about trashed hotel rooms and wild parties, but because Eddie is being honest. 

It’s not something he talks about… ever, really. Not even with the guys. But, after five years, it doesn’t hurt the same. It’s not even for St—

It’s not for his ex anymore, if it ever was. 

“Why would it be weird?” Gareth is saying. “We have a built in DD, that’s always great. And Eddie doesn’t give us shit for anything, he’s just honest when we ask if anything was too out of hand. It’s a good reality check.”

“And like,” Doug adds, “he’ll still come out with us to clubs and shit to hang out. But if he says he doesn’t want to drive us to a bar it’s not some passive aggressive or superiority thing because we drink and he doesn’t; he’d really just rather fuck off and do something else.”

“Gee, thanks,” Eddie says dryly, but he’s smirking. 

Doug flashes him finger guns, the fucking dork. “You’re welcome, asshole.”

And the interview moves on. These guys have been Eddie’s friends even longer than they’ve been his bandmates, and the four of them are solid. If the gossip vultures out there want something to pick at, they’ll have to find a different target. 

Permanent tag list (ask to be added/removed):

@hotluncheddie @hiei-harringtonmunson @sofadofax @hickeysgodcomplex @oatmilk-vampire

@wheneverfeasible @hamiltonswiftie @grtwdsmwhr @yesdangerpls @theseaofdespair

And then someone shows Steve the interview and he asks Robin for Eddie’s number, and they talk for the first time in years and end up falling back in love, but that’s the hard to write part so this is what you get. Xoxo

[smytherines]

I had a lot of fun writing this one. I think reintegrated Tatiana Slozhno sort of necessitates a different style of writing than what I usually do, so I got to be very spontaneous and informal with it and just get out of my own way for once, and I'm really happy with the result

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is or was the color of your mother's eyes?

She blinks. She doesn't know. She blinks again. Shouldn't she know? The voice on the intercom is cheery, and the room she's in is clean and well-appointed, and shouldn't she know the color of her mother's eyes?

Panic curls in her stomach and dread creeps up her spine as she realizes she cannot remember. She can't remember her name. She can't remember picking out the blouse and skirt and heels she is wearing. She can't remember how she got here, or where here is, or what here is. 

The voice on the intercom says something, but she can't hear it. She launches herself at the door again, banging at it until her fists are sore. Screaming. Begging to be let out. Threatening and cajoling, kicking until the toes of her dark blue pumps are scuffed and deformed.

The voice on the intercom speaks again, but all she can think about is leaving. She steps out of one mangled shoe, holding it in her hand like a weapon, ready to strike the moment the door--

"Jesus, what the fuck?" It's Curt. His voice is high and loud and alarmed. Curt is here in front of her. In his house, his hands held up in front of his face like he's about to be--

Tatiana notices the boot in her hand, inches away from smashing into him. But that can't be right. She was just... 

Shit. Reghabi told her to stay put, but she had to see him. Curt. Her friend, Curt M. 

Mega. His name is Curt Mega. 

And he's staring at her, equal parts confused and irritated, because while she knows him, he does not know her. For part of her, he's the only friend she has. For part of her, he's a stranger. For this version of him, she's nothing but the lunatic who accosted him at the automat.

Her head hurts.

She slowly lowers the boot until she ends up dropping it onto the floor. Curt relaxes, sort of. He runs his hands through his hair. He checks it a lot, or at least the other one did. 

But it is him. Not the same him, but it looks like him, and talks like him, and has the same red-rimmed eyes as him. So it must be him. And if it's him, she can trust him. If it's him, she'll be safe. 

Tatiana follows him down the stairs, into the basement, watches as he takes the cover off of a large brown couch and hands her a sleeping bag. And the whole time she can still hear it in her head.

What is or was the color of your mother's eyes?

She doesn't know.

"Well-- uhhh--," One of his hands rubs anxiously at the other, "you can sleep down here tonight. And tomorrow we can..." He nods, but doesn't finish.

The basement is sparse, just the couch and a few boxes piled up, but it's warm. And she is so tired. 

There's a cigarette case-- silver filigree-- and a matching lighter on the little makeshift table near the couch. She reaches for it on impulse, because who wouldn't want a cigarette after the night she's had? Curt snatches it off the table, clutching it to his chest. 

"I wouldn't have taken you for a smoker," she manages. She can spot nicotine stains better than most. She was trained to be observant. 

"I'm not." His face twists uncomfortably. "It's... someone I knew."

Curt opens the case reflexively, clearly familiar with it. He examines the contents carefully. And finally, reluctantly, he hands her a cigarette and lights it for her. The case and the lighter go into his pocket. 

"I always wondered why you were so sad." She takes a drag. The tobacco is old and stale, and it stings her lungs. 

"What do you mean?" Curt asks, his voice oddly low and rumbling, shifting his weight back and forth between his legs the same way her friend does. Restlessness spilling out of him like a pot boiling over.

"Down there." She takes another drag, the pain in her head overwhelmed by lightheadedness and nausea. "Sometimes when you came in, your eyes--"

She ashes her cigarette.

"You're even sadder here." Tatiana finishes quietly. 

He looks away like he knows.

Tatiana wonders if that is the kind of thing you're only supposed to say to a friend. It's been so long, she must've forgotten the rules.

Curt clears his throat. He won't meet her eyes now.

"Okay, well... if you need anything I'll be upstairs."

Upstairs with the empty liquor bottles. Upstairs with the reason why Curt M. always smells of alcohol, why he shakes and sweats at the end of the day. Upstairs with whatever thing is haunting him. She knows the feeling well.

What is or was the color of your mother's eyes?

She still can't remember. She isn't sure if she ever knew. How old do you have to be to remember a detail like that? 

If she thinks carefully, she can remember golden red hair shining in the sun, a faint melody ringing in her ears, deft fingers braiding her hair.

She can remember the state facility, with its grey walls and the stench of antiseptic. The way light twisted and warped the dark hallways. 

She can remember the sweater with her initials hand-stitched into the collar, burned in front of her for failing an objective.

She can remember the people she has killed and the ways that she killed them. 

She can remember taking a job with Chimera to protect a family which exists only vaguely in the corners of her memory.

What is or was the color of your mother's eyes?

But not that.

Curt is fiddling with the boxes, like he wants to leave but doesn't know how.

Tatiana takes a final inhale, stubbing the cigarette to save the other half for morning. She crawls into the sleeping bag, pulling it up over half her face. She wants to disappear in it. She wants to go back. 

She hears Curt moving something as her eyes drift closed.

When she opens her eyes it is pitch black. 

She struggles out of the blankets, wearing her older brother's boots with newspaper stuffed inside them, and even in her coat and her boots she is the coldest she has ever been. 

She can just barely make out the shape of the room now. She creeps along, hands held out in front of her, needing to find her way out. 

She steps into the doorway and she can see a faint light. One of the kitchen chairs her grandfather made is in the fireplace turning to ash. She moves toward it in a trance. It looks warm.

"Tanechka, you should be in bed." Her mother's golden red hair takes on the glow from the fire as she approaches.

She kneels down in front of Tatiana, and sweeps her hair back, and presses a kiss to her forehead.

What is or was the color of your mother's eyes?

She watches as Curt's shadow disappears up the steps, and she whispers.

"Blue."

[aidede-camp]

Oof, I think this is what OP meant about Fiyeraba shippers. You don’t have to be Straight to not get it. The call is coming from inside the house, truly.

I don’t necessarily think OP was being bi-phobic. I think they’re completely justified in feeling like Fiyero was used as a tool to hide Elphaba’s bi-ness. If anything we are just as pissed about the same thing. The musical does try to cover up its original story’s queerness. That’s not a debate. You could have completely focused on the relationship of Elphaba and Galinda while having Fiyero in as well, but being that sort of gateway into a more open relationship status. It still fits in actually showing the queerness of Elphaba being bisexual and doesn’t make Fiyero this sort of presentation of heterosexuality if you will.

I will say that I am proud of the movie for expressing Fiyero’s bisexuality in a way that makes it so utterly obvious, but where the fuck was that same energy for Elphaba? Sure, feel free to interpret Elphaba’s relationship with Galinda as a platonic one if that’s how you feel, but it’s genuinely a shallow way of looking at it, especially considering the many interviews with Gregory Maguire who wrote the queer guidelines for these characters. I don’t think saying that we feel snubbed for erasing Elphaba’s love for her friend is being bi-phobic. We are upset because they cover it with a heterosexual blanket to give straight people the upper leg.

Elphaba is bisexual. Point blank period. And she can be in love with Fiyero. Absolutely. But she is also allowed to be in love with Galinda without the shame of it as well. She’s far likely to be ridiculed for the latter in the society we live in.

I think it’s weird to use, “show me the proof of Elphaba being in love with Galinda in the text” as your proof that she isn’t in love with Galinda. Do we know the same Elphaba? The one who would probably rather die than outwardly show an emotion like that, let alone to someone LIKE Galinda? So, we are just going to ignore the fact that Gregory Maguire openly states that Elphaba is queer? We’re going to ignore that? Just because she doesn’t openly state it, doesn’t mean it’s not true.

We forget the Wicked novel is told in third person limited. This limited and detached narrative perspective and style fit with the book's themes of storytelling, perspective, reputation, and biography. Wicked is not Elphaba's story, told from her point of view. So naturally we wouldn’t get that information!

We have got to stop invalidating others experiences and feelings. Being queer is hard enough as is. We have to try to look through lenses that otherwise wouldn’t fit our typical viewpoints.

I love Fiyero’s character and I love his and Elphaba’s relationship in the book. But that’s because the book was so open about who they truly were and hides nothing. Gregory could care less how comfortable the audience is. We just wish the musical did the same.

P.s.

As an asexual, sexual tension has to have no presence for intimacy and love to be prevalent.

I know we joke about it, about how they cut the scenes between Elphaba and Glinda because they were too gay, about them being played very fruity and shit, but it always rubs me the wrong way that it still is left into this terrain of deniability or uncertainty that the jokes feel bitter sweet now, like they were willing to cut a crucial scene of character development for Glinda and Elphaba that was essential for their relationship in the movie because it was too suggestive on the romantic intentions of it, and regardless of what they say publicly is very obvious why they cut it, so I'm genuinely heartbroken about how Wicked still cowards away from it's queerness, and unfortunately it does make me inevitably lack some sort of respect for it.

Did I love the movie? Yes, but in such a way where I feel bitter about it.

I adore it the same way I do a show, as book Elphaba would say, it is a theatrics, yes and it is a beautiful spectacle, but it is just that, a spectacle, that never fully commits. Don't get me wrong, the musical has its merits, but there's this insatisfaction, this conformity this fear of being more that leaves me feeling unsatisfied when it's over, and not because it's a tragedy, but because it feels shallower than it's book counter part.

Because the book, as much as it also only suggests, it never cowards away from how weird and queer it is and never uses a veil of heterosexuality to cover up Glinda's and Elphaba's unsaid romance, (basically the existence of musical Fiyero), the book suggests Gelphie and let's it linger to become real for those with enough sensibility to comprehend it, enhancing the romance that never flourished, but the musical is just the same cowardice it so blatantly criticizes, and for that it may never actually gain my respect the same way the book has done before.

There's much I could say about how the musical just downright destroys its original material for the sake of making the audience comfortable, without actually being this revolutionary piece of media it calls itself to be, but I am frankly tired. Sadly the movie commits quite a lot of the same mistakes as the musical, and that's why I can't love it like I wish I did, it hurts more knowing the movie had the opportunity to change it yet didn't and I'm not only talking about Gelphie, I'm talking about many other things, Fiyero himself as well, because if you look closer, it seems as though the movie tries to fix it, to rewrite what was once a butchering of the original material, but it never commits, too afraid to diverge, because committing would mean to let the queerness and the uncomfortable topics flourish in the text if ever so lightly, but they can't have that, so the movie is between this very thin line between trying to be faithful to the musical and wanting to improve it, but never achieving either perfectly for it's fear of commitment. I didn't expect it to be a book one on one because it is first and foremost a musical adaptation, but they had a chance to bring what was only subtext into text and they threw it away. I want to hope that in part two they will improve it and I still hold onto said hope because the movie also does a lot of things right, but they cling so desperately to such mediocre romance between Fiyero and Elphaba and such waste of narrative that it is for the three of this characters with Glinda that it's so pathetic, why are they so attached to such mediocre 2000s stereotypical straight love triangle is beyond me, obviously if you read between the lines it is more than that, but it's subtext, like it always has been.

So yeah, as much as I adore the musical now movie as the spectacle of theater it is, it will never gain my respect the same way the book does, it feels like being gaslighted and manipulated just for there to be people who say "what? No you're seeing things".

And it's sad because you'd think we're on a day and age that has the ability to do this, to make what was once buried subtext, text, but it doesn't, and it may never will, but whatever had happened between Glinda and Elphaba was real to me, and real to them in a way beyond their comprehension and their control and time, it was then, what went unsaid that became buried for us who seek.

Also before the movie, there was never this amount of stupid discourse between Gelphie and Fiyeraba shippers, maybe because most of the fandom was a Gelphie shipper because well what we couldn't get from the mainstream we sought in the community, but now that so many straight people are joining in they not only feel threatened by the overwhelmingly queer community, but they actively want to shame it.

And although I do think Fiyeraba is boring, made there too be palatable so the straights don't get mad and shit, and to hide the intense level of tragedy that is Gelphie, I never bothered to mess with the Fiyeraba shippers before or give much though to them because there was no need, but suddenly they feel the need to be so annoying and homophobic and have some gotcha moment because their ship is the one that ends up together and all I can say is ... What a superficial way of viewing the story, because Wicked is a tragedy and that part is in itself a tragedy, but I digress, I don't want to hate on Fiyero it's not even worth it, but people will do anything to hate Glinda, without understanding her character, praise a male character clearly written to be a narrative device for Elphaba more than his own character, a cheap attempt at writing a Glinda that does abide by Elphaba's narrative necessities, then they bring down a queer ship and act self righteous about it while also being discretely homophobic. Like the irony, they feel so self-righteous about it too is ridiculous.

Talking about irony, it's funny because if musical Fiyeraba shippers read the book I might actually say, yeah book Fiyeraba has its merit and I agree Fiyero meant as much to Elphaba as Glinda IN THE BOOK, but they don't even bother reading it. They can't even grasp Glinda's musical complexity I doubt they'd understand the book, but I'm being bitter and pretentious.

Oh and everything they did to Fiyero is a blasphemy, book Fiyero has my appreciation.

This already lasted way too long, but I couldn't stay quiet about it anymore because I had never felt so attacked on what was once a really safe fandom for queer people specially sapphic/queer women

[bunnieswithknives]

(nature au) you said that while dale dislikes dev using a cane in the house he doesn’t really care too much, but what if dev used a cane in public? i can’t imagine dale would be okay with that at all. he’d be pissed, like confiscate the cane kind of pissed

Originally the gag here was just going to be Dev clinging onto his dads arm for dear life while he shivers like a chihuahua but he is just. So small.. I couldnt get it to look reasonable

Bonus:

[arsenicflame]

Bootblacking is my favourite kink to give Izzy, because of course this guy would get his rocks off doing precise, repetitive, manual labour. OF COURSE he gets off on what is essentially just another chore on his list.

[frogayyyy]

we've had fireworks every single night this week. then it'll be halloween and then bonfire night. :/

[aikoiya]

Oh, don't even get me started! It was so good! Though, my mom also made a sort of mocha bundt cake with chopped pecans & walnuts. It wasn't as chocolatey or moist as my aunt’s Texas sheet cake, but goodness if it didn’t get close! (I actually got the recipe for that one & thought of 1 or 2 ways to improve it! 😃)

You know what? Fair. Totally understandable. I do love the whole happy Zelink ending. It's always nice when we get that.

True, the tragic end very much isn't SS’ intended vibe, but in a way, that makes the idea even more tragic. Though, I feel like bringing up the unfairness of the situation is a bit moot because life's never really been fair. It sure as heck wasn't fair that Sky & Sun had to deal with so much. Likewise, it also wasn't fair that Hylia had to sacrifice so much, die, & give up her godhood in the process. It's also not fair that most of the time that Impa got to spend with Sun was so hecktic.

Still, when you view it from the perspective of the player, I can see why you say it. At the same time, this all takes place behind the scenes as subtext. Similarly, I think it's not quite right that this other Zelda wouldn’t have a happy ending, just that she wouldn't have the one she'd wanted, making it more bittersweet than the ending in the game. Which is pretty endemic of life, in-general, I think. Not to mention, could be a very good lesson to players that not everything is going to work out how you hoped, but that doesn't mean that you can't find happiness.

It's entirely possible that Sun ended up living a good life. Possibly marrying a nice Sheikah gentleman (heck, reaincarnation is still a thing, so he might've even be Sky's previous incarnation; 2000+ years is a pretty long time), having kiddos, spending real time with Impa until they form a sisterhood. And, honestly, maybe that's the point? Look at things from this other Sun's perspective & keep in mind her tendency towards martyrdom. Not only that, the fact that she seems to love just being Link's Zelda, herself.

So, if there were 2 Suns & 1 not only wasn't aware of the other, but also had a chance at that happy ending they both wanted, what do you suppose the other Sun would do? Because in this case, there was really only 2 options: Reveal herself to the pair, thereby complicating things for all 3 of them, embittering their ending unnecessarily, & making things awkward or hiding herself from them so that at least one Zelda gets her happy ending.

I mean, true. But it's confirmed that Farore is the Goddess of Wind in WW & I'm pretty sure that in the OoT beta, the statue of the Goddess of the Sand was Din (however, the Zelda encyclopedia instead calls the statue of an evil deity, but both the statue being Din & the statue being of an evil deity, should be taken with a grain of salt). Though, even if that weren't the case, I feel like it's a bit strange to try & limit a fictional deity to a singular domain, besides what is time if not giving order to events so that they make sense?

It's possible that Hylia is the Goddess of Time, but I'll go over the points, too.

True! Though, I wasn't so much meaning the Gate of Time (that is very clearly related to Hylia), but instead the giant blue blocks from OoT that you use the Song of Time to get rid of. And the light that shows up when you use the song on them. Both are very blue. So, I dunno… I guess it's complicated, ya know?

True, can't argue with that. Though, it's very possible that the Ocarina of Time & the hilt of the Master Sword are both made of Timeshift Stones, which, similarly, also shines blue. Something to also keep in mind is that those stones showed up in the Lanayru region, which was where Nayru's Flame & its dragon guardian had been. Not to mention, the gears that showed up to turn the Gate of Time were also blue & so was the inside of the Gate.

Mmm… But what does “from the edge of time” even mean? Like, I know what it says, but it seems just vague enough that she could either be literal… Or poetic. And considering… Just… the flipping Isle of Songs… Yeah, girl was a theater kid, just sayin’. So, I'd legit give it 50/50 odds for either.

True.

Ah… Question. Could you explain more what you mean by a new timeline? Do you mean, literally creating a new timeline or just… placing a pebble in the stream to create a new path? Because, I was always under the impression that Lullaby just sent Time back in time to some vague point before having obtained the Zora Sapphire using the Song of Time. If so, then that’s not necessarily sending him to a new timeline until Link, himself, then changed the course of events of his own accord. Like, to me, that’s a lot more simple than sending him to a literal new timeline, much less creating a new one. Like… how would that work? Making a copy of a timeline or something? Wouldn't that essentially be the same as recreating reality from its very foundation on her own & controlling the events up to the point she wanted him to go back to? But without the aid of the other goddesses, thereby suggesting that she's more powerful than the Golden Three combined? I mean, she could've probably done it had she used the Triforce, but you'd think there'd be an indication of it had she done so. It just seems easier to simply send Link a bit further back in time, but that's just me.

Again, true & I can’t find an argument for the complexity of Hylia's plans.

See, now, I actually think it wouldn’t be very restrictive at all as it very much depends on what you consider “order” & “time” to be. For one, it’s never really specified what sort of time, so she could be the goddess of cyclical time, linear time, opportune time, foresight, ect. Or, perhaps all are under her domain & Hylia could’ve been a goddess of foresight or history. For example, Greek mythology has 3 different time deities: Aion, Cronus, & Kairos. All three are time deities. However, they each represent different sorts of time. Aion was the manifestation of cyclical time; the phenomenon of history repeating itself. Cronus was a god of linear time; a progression of events from point a to point b & then c. Finally, Kairos was a god of opportune time or simply timing. So,

Something of specific interest, Tingle once states in Wind Waker that Farore is the Goddess of Wind, so in my mind, this means that the Golden Goddesses all likely have other domains besides the ones associated with the Triforce. Which would absolutely make sense considering that the same is true IRL.

And you're fine! I don’t mind.

Well, to be fair, we don't know if Talon was always so lazy. It's possible that he'd been more Sonic lazy in that he loved to relax & laze about & may even have had a tendency to procrastinate, but when it was actually time to work, buddy WORKED!! (Which is a lot like my own dad. That man knows how to work & work hard, especially at his job, but when he's at home, he's fairly lazy.) Who knows? Maybe losing his wife caused him to lose a part of himself?

Though, I do think that Talon probably inherited the ranch.

Sidenote: Something I recently learned, “Mabe” is the name of a type of Japanese freshwater pearl. I just found that interesting. I'm also renaming the Hylian villages to fall more in-line with the local languages I have for them. So, they'll have 2 names: 1 in their native tongue & one in Hyrulean Common. Like how the local Italian name for Venice is Venezia. I haven't finished them all yet, but I'm liking it so far.

Right?! If nothing else, I'd imagine that a Roc's Feather would at least give their flaps more lift.

Ooo! You're right! Different races of Researchers would be a cool idea! I wonder what sort of tech would be brought in? And, to be honest, having more scientists would allow them to work on more things even without the main Researchers paying attention!

Fair. I guess that you just said, “assassins” & my lizard brain automatically went: assassins → ninjas → Sheikah, so my bad. But dang, that sounds cool! It'd also be a good idea to send in the Sheikah warriors when a Yiga Base is especially fortified. So, they'd be used as undercover agents or something.

Thank you!!

And I know, right?? I am still bent outta shape over not getting legit pirates! Like, it wasn't just Lurelin that teased the idea, either. There was also that one lady at the East Akkala Stable, I think, who was super worried over it & the pirates on Eventide Island. Like... The ideas were interesting, but I would've loved to see some actual brigands!

Hmmm! This is an interesting idea! Though, the problem is that I can't really call a baybed a “yard,” now can I? (Or is the literal translation of vignoble supposed to mean "noble vine?") Clos might work. As, from what I understand, a clos is a walled vineyard, so I could approximate the fields that the sea-grapes grow on as an aquatic clos or “aquaticlos” if that isn't too terribly horrible of an idea. Because, one of the problems with building up a fantasy culture that isn't like our own is that you suddenly need to put yourself in their shoes.

For instance, I’ve recently begun to look up a lot in regards to algaes & halophytic crops in order to workshop a realistic agriculture for the Zora. So, to me, this would indicate that for the Sea Zora, sea-grapes likely came before the terrestrial vine grapes that we tend to automatically think of when we hear the word “grapes.” As a result, I think the word "raisins” would more naturally be used in reference to sea-grapes & like how, IRL, “raisins de mer,” refers to sea-grapes, I wouldn't be surprised if a more realistic depiction of the Zora would have them calling Refreshing Grapes, “Raisins de Terre Potentio” or “Terraisins Potentio” rather than just “Raisins Potentio.”

That, or the word for grapes that they use is “Raizins” & “Raisins” would be a newer term coined specifically for the grapes that grow ashore.

(Sorry, I'm always worried about butchering another culture's language. Because while a bit of linguistic difference is very plausible when talking about a different universe, I still want to remain faithful to the spirit of that language. So, my apologies if it feels like I'm taking advantage. 😥)

And, you’re welcome! But, don’t think it’s just outta the goodness of my heart. I also actually enjoy helping people iron out these sorts of things.

@aikoiya The post was getting too long so I’m replying here, hope that’s okay! If anyone is looking for the beginning of this discussion, it's here.

Your extended pantheon is amazing! I just knew that Gàlondo would end up being Demise haha. I'd say I prefer not to associate Demise with any race in particular (and the Gerudo already have quite a heavy burden with Ganondorf), but otherwise I like that backstory you came up with. So what's Hylia's role in your version then if he’s the guardian of the Triforce? I'm curious ^^

I'd say my reasoning isn't so much "I hate this" but rather "this doesn't make sense/contradicts something else" or "previous games did this better". I also want to show that it's still possible to create stories without ignoring everything that was established previously because to me this idea that the timeline is too restrictive doesn't stand. In fact I tend to believe being a bit restricted and working inside a frame can trigger more creativity (after all they did wild stuff like flooding Hyrule before and it fits perfectly in the timeline). I also would prefer to see the existing lore extended or clarified instead of them adding new confusing stuff and leaving it extremely vague.

Oh I LOVE your Outset Timeline!! Though the ending is indeed very bittersweet. It always makes me so happy when someone else points out the inconsistencies in Skyward Sword's story. That's exactly my reasoning for my fourth timeline, it exists because of Ghirahim and Link's victory over Demise in the distant past. Though you are right, adding a timeline split while keeping the Master Sword in the official timeline requires some gymnastics! At the moment I'm going with a lazy theory about the Sealed Temple being the future Temple of Time, so the Temple's magic somehow allows the Master Sword to exist in both timelines (I said it was lazy haha). Impa’s bracelet is another story though. In my timeline the Goddess Sword is also left untouched in Skyloft because Skyward Sword doesn't happen, which could be useful in case someone accidentally broke the actual Master Sword 😁 It's very intriguing to me that Sky left the sword in the past when he had no reason to (and it shouldn't even be possible since it's in the exact same spot as Zelda's crystal). It's probably just a mistake on Nintendo's part but I like to think there could be something else there, and that Fi had a reason to stay in the past.

About the DLC items the thing is that most sets are found in the Depths in random Zonai chests if I remember correctly, or in the coliseums, and there was no explanation as to how they got there. In Misko's little shrines we find the Fierce Deity set and the LA set, but also the barbarian armor, the shock-resistant outfit and the climbing gear. I can understand building shrines for the Fierce Deity or LA Link following what you said, but then for three random armor sets? Not to mention that Link already owned them in BotW, so making us look for them a second time was kind of a joke. I like this shintai/yorishiro idea, but I think it would work a lot better if there were only a few items to collect and not… the outfits of all the Links ever INCLUDING WILD'S (how!!). It feels really meaningless and more like a catalogue for you to choose from so you can look like your favorite Link (which is a bit insulting to Wild, you can just replace him at this point and go as far as changing his hair or even his entire appearance with the LA set). I also didn't really believe they were the actual items from past games, it made no sense (the same way Link wouldn't actually wear a red Nintendo Switch t-shirt or something from Xenoblade). It just really felt like fanservice.

The dictionary thing might help, but I think the story should be explicit enough on its own and I don't really want to study Buddhism/Shintoism in depth so that I can play Zelda games and understand what's happening haha. I mean of course it's fine if knowing a bit about it adds new context and all, but if you can't understand things like malice vs. gloom without it then I think it's a bit of a problem. Speaking of Fujibayashi I feel like this wasn't really an issue before he was in charge.

Yes the French translation for Demise is very misleading, that's another problem: depending on your language things are sometimes interpreted very differently.

I really like the English names for the three dragons, I think they're so much better than what we got in French. Nedrac, Ordrac and Rhordrac, really?? At first I didn't even understand the link with the Goddesses, and then the last two sound way too similar. Btw I remember from my very basic Japanese courses that it's common in Japanese to create new words by mixing a few syllables of other words together. For example "rimokon" means remote controller (remo + con), or there's the well known Pokemon = pocket monsters. So naturally we end up with stuff like Ordinn + dragon etc.

I thought as well about the dragons going by names given to them by mortals instead of their true names. The thing is, I don't really want to create new names because I'm already changing so many things and my timeline stuff can be a bit complicated, so I need to keep at least a few things familiar. And I really like Dinraal, Farosh and Naydra :D

I agree about Farore being more associated to wind and plants than thunder (I mean she's kind of Link's patron goddess and he has nothing to do with thunder). What's even more confusing in BotW/TotK is that the Gerudo are now also related to thunder for some reason, but they're definitely more Din than Farore in my mind.

Maybe I should give you some context about my dragons haha. The beginning of my story is quite similar to TotK, though I still made some changes. Ganondorf completely destroys the Master Sword, Link looses his arm (except here Rauru isn't there to replace it), and Zelda still travels through time (but not because of a Secret Stone since I got rid of everything Zonai). She arrives in ancient Hyrule one century after Sky killed Demise (because this is set in my alternate timeline), and she's stuck there so she needs to find a way back home. Before that she learns a lot about SS, the Triforce, the timeline split and Hyrule's past. After meeting various characters and most importantly Sonia (who's still a priestess, the Sage of Time and her ancestor), Zelda learns that this era has two Master Swords: the one left by Sky in the Sealed Temple, and the Goddess Sword that is still somewhere above the clouds. She understands then that she needs to retrieve the Goddess Sword in Skyloft and forge a second Master Sword in order to help her Link in the future, and to do so she needs the three Sacred Flames. Where are the flames? The dragons "swallowed" them since they weren't needed anymore after Sky left his own Master Sword, which turned them into the giant immortal dragons we see in BotW/TotK. So that's Zelda's quest: find a way to go to Skyloft and then get the dragons to lend her their power. Along the way she'll also meet the ancient Sages, who can help her return to her own time by using the Triforce (but of course this won't work because of Ganondorf, and Link will have to fight him in the present and bring her back himself).

I'm trying to make this both a story I could adapt in comic form and something that could work as a game. The idea is that Zelda's memories would be playable sequences with places to explore, fights and maybe even mini-dungeons and bosses. And of course there's an entire story for Link as well. At the moment I'm trying to come up with interesting arcs and quests for each race/Sage, both in the past and the present.

Anyway, that's why I'm so focused on the dragons. Zelda (and Link) will need their help and they will talk this time. And since they will remember being apointed by Hylia and they're supposed to absorb their respective sacred flames, I need things to make sense. This is also a timeline without climate change in Lanayru (here it's the same province as in BotW with the addition of Mount Lanayru and a good part of central Hyrule), so the thunder dragon has no business being up there. That's why the swap would make sense.

No need to apologise! I appreciate your perspective and that you're interested enough to share your own ideas! :D

I agree on Zelda's magic being her own and what you said makes sense! Love the part about her only thinking about how she's a failure (though I guess it's only natural if she's been trying for 10 years without result). I don't know if she would have had the same reaction had she witnessed her father's death though. AoC isn't canon but Zelda doesn't unlock her power when Rhoam "dies" in front of her and Link forces her to run. The memory where's she's crying in Link's arms in BotW also shows that she knows everyone is dead, it's even possible that she saw some of it happen (maybe in the same way as AoC for Rhoam, or they saw what happened to the Divine Beasts from afar). I guess they must also have seen some terrible things on the roads, so she could have unlocked her power trying to save her people. But it only happened when Link was about to die.

Haha yes, I'm probably one of the most obsessed Zelink shipper there is and even I can't stand that power of love trope. It really has no place in a LoZ game. In my headcanon Zelda wouldn't access her power only because of her love for Link, though it definitely helps, but rather because the Hero dying is kind of an emergency situation and would trigger her divine magic even if the necessary conditions were not met. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me though 😆

Yeah I'm okay with the women of the royal family having some sort of power though not as powerful as Zelda. I think some part of it could also be attributed to their Sage of Time abilities. And the gift of prophecy being inherited from Sky is such a cute idea!!

I don't know about Terrako, I only remember that Zelda built it when she was just a child?

I'd send you an ask to rant about TotK but I'm not sure about the character limit and I fear it would just turn into a second wall of text haha! Here are some thoughts:

– I could live with new lore that contradicts older games, if only things made sense and were sufficiently fleshed out. Then I could just enjoy the story and accept that this is a different continuity. But here everything is so vague and sometimes even confusing. Like if we're going to meet the Zonai and make them such central figures in Hyrule's history, then I want to know more about them and learn about their culture. What's the point if we're only going to see two of them and have no clue about how they created all that technology, mined the Depth, lived with the Hylians, and then disappeared? Same for ancient Hyrule: if the different tribes were at war, I want to see it, and I want to learn more about them. Ganondorf also had so much potential for an interesting backstory. What kind of king is he? How did the Gerudo feel about him becoming the Demon King? What about the Gerudo Sage? And so on. It feels like this could be so much more.

– Other things I would love to see explained: where is the Master Sword in ancient Hyrule and why does no one seem to know anything about it or the Hero? How does it travel through time to reach Zelda? What about Rauru and Sonia's descendants? Also what was the point of the fake Zelda, and why did Ganondorf stay in his bathtub the entire game instead of rehydrating himself right away and getting stuff done? There's also everything I said about the secret stones the other day, but I know you don't see it as a problem ^^ (Also I just rewatched the memories and I had completely forgotten what Rauru tells Zelda in front of Sonia's grave: "Remember, that was a future where you never appeared in this world". So does this mean this is a new timeline that kind of retcons BotW? If not then where did all the Sheikah tech go and how were the shrines replaced by the Zonai ones? I really need an explanation for all of that!!)

– The game also barely mentions what happened in BotW, except for the history class about the Calamity in Hateno, the statues in Zora's Domain, and the memorials left by Zelda to honor the dead. I wanted to see Hyrule starting to rebuild and to get some sort of follow-up on the story. Did Link regain all his memories? Was Zelda planning to take the throne? Does she have some sort of trauma after her century-long battle against Ganon at Hyrule Castle? Why does she react to Ganondorf's name, but doesn't link him to Calamity Ganon? Why did the Sheikah tech that was so central in BotW disappear, especially the Divine Beasts? I care about this world and its characters, I want it to feel like a real place and to see it evolve. But then stuff like this really reminds you that this is just a video game world, and that Nintendo doesn't really seem to care. And if things can be retconned any moment even in a direct sequel, then… why should I feel invested?

– There was a real waste of potential with the Light Dragon and Zelda just transforming back thanks to Rauru and Sonia (btw couldn't they have helped if they could appear anytime and still had that kind of power?). I find it so disappointing that Link doesn't have to do anything to help Zelda, it almost happens by accident. Mineru also said it was irreversible, but in the end it's no big deal (they shouldn't establish something and then ignore it like that). If only Link had to use the Triforce or something. I didn't want Zelda to stay a dragon but sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't have been a better ending.

– It also really doesn't help that Link feels so disconnected from the main story. In BotW he was also experimenting the story through flashbacks but at least they were his own memories and they fleshed out his relationship with Zelda and the other Champions. Here Zelda is the one experimenting the best part of the story, and to make it worse you can find the memories in any order and get badly spoiled. It could have been so cool if Link also time traveled at some point and could explore ancient Hyrule (and they could have done something crazy like Link and Zelda being the ones to seal Ganondorf in the past, which would lead to his transformation into Calamity Ganon). Link is also so expressionless (except when cooking and all) that I find it hard to care when he doesn't seem to. Imagine how different Zelda sealing herself would feel in Skyward Sword if Sky didn't act so distraught. In the same way TotK would hit a lot harder if Link did stuff like falling to his knees after seeing Zelda's last memory.

– I also think that the hands/cooperation theme the devs talked about in interviews is a bit weak and cliché (with characters reminding Link and Rauru that they don't have to do things alone and that they're stronger together, stuff like that). First I don't find it very interesting compared to what games such as OoT, MM or Wind Waker did, and then Link being able to fight Ganondorf alone from the start kind of throws it out the window (and Rauru also ends up sealing Ganondorf on his own). The Sages are not even with Link outside of the dungeons, they just create creepy copies of themselves (and I found them so annoying I never activated them, except for Tulin when flying). But yeah sure they shake hands and vow to help Link. I still think him being accompanied by the Champion's spirits in BotW worked a lot better, and their powers were also more useful. I guess seeing everyone working together to rebuild Hyrule would have made that theme more meaningful. The thing I really liked about this though was Link finally catching Zelda in the end after failing at the beginning of the game, that was a really beautiful scene.

– Also I said it above but I don’t want everything to be explained by Buddhism/Shintoism parallels, especially if the game just expects you to get it without providing context. Let Hyrule be it’s own thing.

So I know this isn't only about lore, but these are the main reasons why I'm not very interested in TotK. To sum up I'd say that the game lacks some kind of depth and has a lot of wasted potential, and it also makes it clear that it's pointless to care about continuity. BotW Hyrule was interesting and I think a lot of things could have been done about existing races instead of adding a new one but not bothering to do much with it. Just bringing Ganondorf back in this version of Hyrule and see how the Gerudo react to him could be so interesting!! Some concepts were also excellent but didn't really go anywhere, like the Depths and the Sky Islands.

Honestly I haven't thought about all these side quests and minor characters yet, I'm still trying to sort things out with the main story ^^ But I don't think I'll touch the ones you mentioned, they were fine. I liked the thing with the Eighth Heroine as well, I've seen a lot of people complaining about it but it's one of the only things in the game I actually found interesting. I just can't unsee the parallel with Link and the Seven Sages (of course).

What I'll be doing for sure is making some of the quests and events more serious, I'm kind of aiming for a darker tone. Most of the quests are quite fun (especially the "potential princess sightings" ones), but I feel like this game really lacks some sense of danger and urgency. For example couldn't the people in Hateno have more pressing problems than making cheese or choosing between Cece and Reede? Or was it really a good idea to make lighthearted little quests about misanderstandings with Zelda when her disappearance should be driving Link mad? (I should have included that in my little rant above haha)

I'd also love to make the pirates in Lurelin something more interesting than just a bunch of Bokoblins, but I'm not there yet. And rebuilding the exact same village was kind of meh.

About the Gerudo questioning their traditions, I'm actually planning for my Ganondorf to be a lot more active and go to Gerudo Town in order to meet his people (I want him to care about them, so he wouldn't attack them the same way he targets the others). I don't have all the details yet but I'm pretty sure there will be a conflict between Riju's supporters and other Gerudo who believe he's their rightful ruler (at first they wouldn't know he's actually that one king who turned into Calamity Ganon). So that's another tradition for them to question.

The consequences of Ganondorf being the only Gerudo male are something I've been wondering about as well. Add to that the fact that he's raised to be king because he's male (and maybe even kind of worshiped by his people) and you get something that can turn nasty real quick. Though I also wonder if Gerudo aren't different from Hylians. You said you hc that the Gerudo are only women because they were cursed so it makes sense that you would view it this way, but on my part I believe that's just how they were created. For that reason I think this is natural for them, so it's possible that it doesn't cause exactly the same problems it would for us or for Hylians.

About Demise, yes of course Ganondorf is more than just Demise's hatred. But in this game it doesn't seem to matter, he kind of turns into a second Demise as soon as he gets his secret stone and his motivations instantly go from conquering/ruling to destroying everything and everyone. They could have done something a lot more nuanced or at least shown a more gradual transition, with him being more and more consumed by his hatred and loosing control for example. I don't know, anything that would look less like a comically caricatural villain riding a demon unicorn.

Also about Demise's curse, I always thought it sounded more like a warning than an actual curse, and I remember reading somewhere that this was the intention in the original Japanese text. In French Demise even says something like "you must never forget, history will repeat itself" instead of "I will rise again", and he and speaks of the curse of the demon tribe (implying that it existed before). Even in English it doesn't sound like Demise himself is casting a curse: "Those like you… Those who share the blood of the Goddess and the spirit of the Hero… They are eternally bound to this curse". He doesn't say "I curse you" or "I bound you to this curse". I feel like this makes a difference (the curse already exists). This is why I interpret it as him basically saying that evil will not die with him and that Link and Zelda/the Hylians as a whole will always have to fight the demon tribe, but not necessarily his reincarnation. So I don't even believe that Demise himself is influencing Ganondorf in any way.

About the Zonai Zelda explains she studied them at the beginning of TotK and recognizes what's depicted on the murals, so it seems strange that sky beings could get mixed with a tribe of barbarians living in the woods. But yeah history getting lost and mixed is the only explanation for this.

Oh you're completely right about the Mogma, I got the same vibe from them! And a Mogma mafia sounds hilarious ^^ I love the Rocktato, Link would definitely eat something like that 😆

I need to take some time to read through your master list, it all looks very promising!

[timetravelstudies]

Do you guys rmr like 2 years ago or whatever when i read ganbare nakamura kun and i was like “omg you guys i know its a heartstopper but like its actually soo good???🫣” well i had some demons to exorcise this weekend so ive been reading a ton of BL and i finally looked into the author’s other stuff and guess what? theyre a capital F freak. 🥰i always recognize my people