#I mean I'm lying he does have good qualities | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

banana-with-a-bow-tie · 9 months ago

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is being gay/trans REALLY a sin? Is being attracted to the same sex/wanting to dress as the gender you feel you should be really all that bad to christians? Why do christians care what people do with their own lives to the point that they tell them it’s “sin”

I'm seeing three questions here. 1. What is sin? 2. How do we know something is a sin? 3. Why do Christians care if people sin?

What is a sin?

In order to understand what sin is you need to understand who God is. God is good. He does not just possess good or desirable qualities. He is good. The word "good" comes directly from the word God because God is the very standard of what it means for something to be good. We can say things like flowers and sunsets and sharing are good because they are based on God who is the source of everything good (James 1:17).

God is also our Creator. He designed us according to His perfect goodness so that we could be like Him and walk in His good ways (Psalm 25:8; Hebrews 12:10). God would be unloving to create the world and not follow His goodness.

Sin, then, is our rebellion against God and His goodness. When Adam and Eve first sinned, they were tempted with the idea that they could be like God and decide what is good and evil for themselves. They wanted to be able to say, "God is not king, I am king. God's ways are not good, my desires are good."

This is a lie from the father of lies. Satan wants us to believe that if I just do whatever I think is best then I will find true goodness and satisfaction, but all it does is lead us further and further away from true goodness which comes from communion with God (Psalm 34:10).

2. How do we know something is a sin?

When Adam and Eve sinned, our communion with God died. We all like sheep went astray and turned aside to our own ways. (Isaiah 53:6). We stopped listening to God's loving care and instead started following our hearts, but our hearts are deceitful and wicked beyond understanding (Jeremiah 17:9).

We cannot listen to our attractions or our feelings because we are attracted to and find pleasure in things that God declares are evil, things that are contrary to His good design. If people did not find pleasure in things like cheating on your spouse or stealing, then they would never do it. They are drawn into wrongdoing by their own wicked desires (James 1:14).

But God is still good. He has not left us without a witness. He has given a conscience to people who are hostile to Him so that even they can recognize when their desires are not good. We all know inherently that lying is bad, that pride is bad, that fighting and anger are bad, because God has hidden His law in our hearts (Romans 2:15).

However, because we have deceitful rebellious hearts, we try to justify ourselves and explain it away and muffle the conscience so it can't bother us any more, like searing your hand with a hot iron so it can't feel anything (1 Timothy 4:2).

The only way we can know something is sinful is by God giving us new life and enabling us to trust in the goodness of His Word again. We can know with certainty that all sexual desire outside of marriage is sin because God told us it defies His character and people do it because they want to rebel against Him, so God gives them what they want (Romans 1:24-25).

3. Why do Christians care if people sin?

Ray Comfort tells a story about a man who hated homosexuals. There was a broken elevator in his building with a sign on it that said "DANGER! OUT OF ORDER!" The hateful man saw two lesbians approaching the elevator so he took the sign down so they would use it and fall to their deaths.

God has given us a clear warning in Scripture that following your heart is dangerous. It's like an addictive drug, numbing your mind with pleasure so you don't realize it's killing you. If someone you loved was overdosing in front of you, you wouldn't say "whatever man, live your truth." You would shake them awake so they could see what is happening to them and try to get them help. If I believe that God's warning is telling the truth, the most unloving and hateful thing I can do is not tell anyone about it. Woe to me if I see judgment coming and don't tell anyone how to be saved (Ezekiel 33:6)!

Christians aren't trying to control you or force you to follow their personal preferences. Some people who profess Christ do that, but mostly we have met a God who loves us, who saw us hurtling in a downward spiral of guilt and shame and earning eternal punishment for our crimes against Him, and choosing to show us forgiveness in an unfathomably kind way.

Every single one of us has disobeyed God and tried to take His place on the throne. We all stand guilty before God not just for things like murder or homosexuality, but for lying and envy and idolatry. We have broken God's laws and because He is good, He cannot leave evil unpunished. The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). Every single one of us dies because it is what we have earned for ourselves. We deserve for God to give us His wrath and anger for waging war against Him (Romans 1:18).

But God is rich in mercy and abounding in love even to those who hate Him. We owe God a righteous life, but none of us are righteous, so God decided to wipe away our debt by living the perfect life for us. God became a man, Jesus, lived a perfect life, then died on a cross, taking the wrath of God we deserved, then rose again on the third day, proving that the price had been paid, then He ascended to God's right hand to offer Himself as the reason people can stand before God as righteous.

God does not delight in the death of the wicked. He does not want you to keep trying to find your identity in yourself. He wants you to know Him and His love for you. He wants to wipe away your sin and make you white as snow. What you need to do is confess your sin to God, which means to agree that you are guilty of rebellion against Him and that He is truly Lord, and you must believe that He will forgive your sin and give you eternal life because of what Jesus did for you on the cross. God is faithful and just to forgive the sin of anyone who asks Him (1 John 1:9)

I care about what you do with your life because I love you and because God loves you, just like a Father loves His children and wants what is best for them. I don't want you to miss out on the amazing gift of grace God is offering to you. Don't let Satan keep deceiving you. He promises you peace but all he can give you is death. Every promise of God will always come true (Titus 1:2)

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inkdemonapologist · 1 year ago

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FINALLY got these scribbles from last session of the Cthulhu game scanned in lmao, THINGS HAVE BEEN SO BUSY but cthulhu has been very exciting!!

While looking for some Alan Leroy guy to figure out why the Phantom is following(?) him(?), we asked around with (a) his book club friends and (b) the mob, as one does. Sammy managed to avoid seeing the yellow sign when he realised very quickly what Cool Obscure Book this book club pal might be describing (unlike Jack, a polite boy who does not RAPIDLY AVERT HIS EYES FROM HIS CONVERSATIONAL PARTNER), but did not manage to avoid being hustled off by the mob to talk to The Boss when Henry asked just a few too many questions. it went fine but Sammy was SO STRESSED, HES ALREADY BEEN KIDNAPPED BY GANGSTERS ONCE HE DOESNT WANT TO DO IT AGAIN

also hes still cute in this hat. you should wear hats more often sammy. ANYWAY if you're here for Out of Context quotes from this session, I GOT EM RIGHT HERE UNDER THE CUT:

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Sammy] He will mention to Henry, something about "Oh boy, dreams are starting up again" kind of thing. [Henry] Yyyyup. [Henry] Don't get possessed again. [Sammy] [Sammy] i dON'T THINK SAMMY KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH THAT!! The last time he got possessed was BY PROPHET, whom he still shares a body with!! [Henry] Prophet doesn't count! Don't get possessed by anyone else. [Sammy] .... I'LL DO MY BEST, [Sammy] I just like the idea of Henry being like 'don't get possessed' and Sammy just LOOKS at him, like............ I'm already possessed, what are you talking about

[Sammy] Given how these things like to happen on auspicious days, I'm a little worried about New Years,

[Joey] That's exactly the spin he's going to put on it -- Some time off for New Years, and a bonus day off to recover from the celebrations! [Jack] Gotta account for those, now that drinking's back!

[Henry] Oh good, I was really worried Joey would call Norman and get a "who are you?" [Jack] Norman DOES do that, but just because he thinks it's funny. [GM] That's possible, yeah, [Sammy] Oh my gosh. I believe it, is the thing. [GM] I do too, honestly... this might just be a thing that happens.

[GM] And the studio seems normal, and nobody got kidnapped in the night, not even Norman, and Henry's family is safe -- things are doing so good! [Jack] Nobody that we're currently in contact with got kidnapped in the night! [GM] That's true. [Jack] I'm not ruling out Bertrum getting kidnapped. [Jack] ...unrelated to the Carcosa nonsense, he just got kidnapped. [GM] That's what he gets for hanging out with the mob. [Jack] Sorry, I mean, "The Great Bertrum Piedmont." Have to use his full and official title. [GM] That's how you get him un-kidnapped, he just breaks through a wall to correct you. [Jack] *laughing* The Kool-Aid Bert................ [GM] The Great Kool-Aid Piedmont, [Jack] Now that's fanart I don't want to see.

[GM] Welcome back! We've been talking about the Great Bertrum Piedmont Kool-Aid-ing through a wall to correct you about his name. [Sammy] *startled wheezing* Okay, well it sounds like I've missed some really important developments!

[Jack] I think Jack would lean in the direction of like, they wanted to get in touch with him at the charity thing-- aaagh, that's technically not true. He's not the fast talk boy, he's not allowed to, [Sammy] I mean, he CAN fast talk, Henry does it all the time! [Jack] But does he succeed-- [Sammy] Henry's not the Fast Talk Boy but he keeps LYING anyway!!!

[Sammy] I feel like Jack is good at looking worried, and, caring about his fellow man, [Jack] I don't think he has to TRY to look worried??? [Sammy] I don't think Sammy contains these qualities. Sammy looks like he's here to arrest you. [GM] She's actually giving Sammy a concerned look, [Sammy] Sammy is HERE FOR THE PROTECTION MONEY.

[Jack] Well, this was lovely! Time to leave, because Sammy's already... vibrating against the door trying to clip through it.

[Sammy] Sammy's IMMEDIATELY going to tell him about this clarinet with the missing E flat extension. [Sammy] ....and then ALSO mention that he thinks maybe he's seen this guy before.

[Joey] Joey slightly fixes Henry's hair before they head in. [Sammy] (That's a little bit gay, but alright,) [Jack] (I think it's more than a little bit) [Joey] LISTEN, listen, Joey recognises-- [Jack] Linda's out of town! [Joey] --Joey recognises the neighbourhood,

[GM] The door gets opened pretty quickly, but the guy inside actually looks a little like he's suddenly out of his depth, because whatever he was expecting to happen is not what is happening. [Sammy] That's a common reaction to Joey Drew.

[Joey] I feel like it's not going to be a fast talk roll, actually, to make this guy feel like this is NOT a dangerous ask? So I'm gonna go with persuade instead. [GM] Are you going with the tack that you were concerned parties from the event? [Joey] I think, concerned party, perhaps leaning towards the notion that they hit it off well at the party, and -- I'm just turning it into a fast talk, [Joey] *trying again* I think Joey is leaning more into an idea that they are freshly met, but have similar interests? Or... possibly leaning into he's ...a friend of a friend and we're looking into it for that friend? [Sammy] Joey trying NOT to lie is really funny. "Oh well obviously I'll just say -- oh, I guess that's not true; I'll just -- WELL, that's not technically true either," [Joey] ADMITTEDLY, if this does turn into a fast talk roll, using the same roll it's now a BETTER SUCCESS, so, [Sammy] Just really funny how hard it is for Joey to just, HONESTLY REASSURE someone without inventing a whole narrative [Joey] I'M GOOD AT COMING UP WITH STORIES!! I'm not good at... fact-checking them first...

[Joey] Please, if you hear from him, or get any more information, please reach out to us as soon as possible, because the sooner we can prevent this, the better off he'll be -- y'know, that whole thing! [Joey] Do the most heartfelt, emotional connection he can... it's a little gay, but... [Sammy] I fully believe in Joey's ability to extoll the virtues of this man he's never met.

[Sammy] We can just check with Norman, have him peek out the window and see if it looks weird, [Joey] "Hey Norman, is your house in the right location?" [Jack] "Dunno why you called me outside just to tell me that you moved my house!"

[GM] Norman answers the door, and gives you guys a quizzical look. [Henry, out of character] :D Hey, did your house move? [Sammy, in-character] >:/ Did your house move?

[Sammy] Sammy will point out things Jack noticed as being different, as if he also noticed them. [GM] He'll turn back to you, and just kind of observe in a blase sort of way that he's apparently moved. [Jack] I love Norman,,,, [Joey] I love Norman's 89% Sanity score that never gets hit, apparently! [Jack] His sense of humour is actually an indefinite insanity. [Sammy] A constant coping mechanism, [Jack] Can't go insane when you already are!!

[Jack] Jack is, not happy about this, [GM, as Norman] He wonders if you'd like to come in for a housewarming, then.

[Sammy] Sammy's going to just catch her up on, the guy we're looking for read the play, [Sammy] Also, might be a guy that Sammy saw in New Orleans, and that might be why he knew the music?? [Sammy] ALSO, WEIRD THING with his clarinet, he doesn't have the E flat extension that you'd EXPECT HIM TO HAVE? [GM] I think Susie knows enough that she would say that's weird if he's playing seriously. [Jack] I was about to ask if this meant anything to these two-- [Joey] Norman is regaining sanity by watching Sammy rattle on about all this. [GM] He's probably chiming in opinions, too, that are completely not based in any actual musical knowledge -- [Henry] Norman just like "He's missing the E extension? Next he's gonna lose the, the F Shortener!" [GM] "What's the world coming to!" [Sammy] Sammy's giving him the most unamused look, and this is all Norman wanted. [GM] Yeah, yeah, this is how he keeps his sanity high. [Sammy] Just annoy Sammy Lawrence. That's the secret.

[Jack] Good to make sure things aren't going weirder over here-- which, uhhh, [Sammy] Which they are!!

[Sammy] That's smart, but that's also really spooky. Like okay, cool! The whole world has re-written this! Cool cool cool cool cool. [GM] He doesn't seem PLEASED about it, but he seems about normal. [Henry] He seems Norman about it. [Jack] Yeah, Normal Polk. [Jack] *cracking up* He shows up at work the next day and he's called "Normal Ponk." That's his name now.

[Jack] Reality's rewriting itself, wanna kiss about it? [Henry] Ah, Jack's okay again.

[Jack] If this was Fowler, then WHO WAS PHONE????

[GM] Well, okay, first things first, does Joey have Peter's number memorised? [Joey] HM. [Joey] ...I feel like he wouldn't admit it, but yes.

[Joey] Joey says he's going to call Peter back in a minute. And hangs up. [GM] You cut him off in the middle of some sort of response-- [Joey] Cool.

[Joey] He managed to break into a safe once by doing this! [Henry] "Break into" is... a bit of a strong phrasing. [GM] *mumbling* "Get locked inside of,"

[Joey] The main thing is, Do Not Go Alone, because if something happens to Peter... we have no way of tracking down the information that he has! We, we lose, all of his evidence! [Jack] .....and that's the ONLY thing, [Joey] Yup! [Henry] We ALSO lose his, HIM, [Joey] *mumbling* No, no that doesn't matter as much, as evidence, [Joey] It's clearly just, the fact that they lose all the benefits of having a reporter with ghost powers on their side, and NOT Peter himself, that is the issue! [Jack] iTS NOT LIKE HE CARES ABOUT YOU OR ANYTHING!!!

[Jack] *spongebob meme* You like Peter Sunstram, don't you, Joey?

[Joey] Both Henry and Sammy are the best able to get themselves out of a tough, fight-y situation, [Sammy] We can both punch, and Henry has magical power if something supernatural happens... [Joey] Also! Also, neither Joey nor Jack are there to be taken hostage and used against them! [Sammy] ... I think you're actually right. I hate to admit it, but I think you're right. [Jack] I can't wait for Jack to be kidnapped at the magic shop, you guys!

[Henry] I can't believe we're sending the two least talky boys off together to talk to the mob, [Joey] LISTEN. Henry and Sammy can go to the restaurant! Henry likes food! There we go! [GM] I can't believe Joey's just making sure Henry gets a nice meal after his shake-up earlier... [Sammy] I dunno, maybe Peter should come with us, just in ghost form. Henry can see him, potentially, [Jack] So Pete's body can... Not be where he left it when he gets back to it! [Sammy] ....hm, [Joey] *startled laughter* [Sammy] ....okay, nevermind,... [Jack] Just leave him in the car, what could go wrong! That's not disappeared MULITPLE TIMES!

[GM] Johnny Nero is of average height and build, with dark, slicked back hair, and a neatly trimmed moustache -- so not like any of the other people that you know! [GM] Wears expensive tailored suits, though. [Jack & Joey] *snickering* So, not like, any of the people you know-- [GM] It narrows it down a bit!! [Sammy] Alright, alright; bargain bin Joey Drew, got it.

[GM] You guys do get an offer to have food, while you're waiting. [Sammy] Yeah.... why not..... [Henry] Henry will, not,,, [Joey] *shocked* NO????? [Joey] *absolutely flabbergasted* FOOD!!!!! [Sammy] Gangsters don't usually poison you, they usually give you nice food and then they knock you out and throw you in the river. [Henry] WELL HENRY DOESNT KNOW THAT! [GM] He hasn't done speakeasies like Sammy has!!

[Sammy] I'm noticing that this guy actually looks really nervous, and isn't taking charge of the situation, [GM] He DOES have something that's probably a firearm in his pocket. [Sammy] Yeah, yeah, but, [Jack] It's his emotional support firearm!

[Sammy] Actually... Sammy WILL ask him if he saw it. [GM] Uh, [Sammy] Because he was RIGHT THERE looking at him. And I feel like, once you've seen it, and it does the weird thing where it gets in your head, you're not going to be confused what somebody's talking about if they ask you if you saw the yellow sign. You're going to know what that means. [GM] [GM] Are you going to say the thing...? [Sammy] Have You Seen The Yellow Sign?

[Henry] Henry is half-considering... [Sammy] *manically excited* DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THE THORN OUT OF THIS LION'S PAW, HENRY???

[Henry] You haven't been able to think straight since, have you? [GM] He kind of squints at you, because he's a gangster and he doesn't want to be like "D: YEAH, ITS BEEN REALLY ROUGH :(" [Joey] *laughs* Henry IMMEDIATELY knows this look, because Joey does this as well!

[Sammy] Push the roll!! Push push push! [Henry] *nervous* I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO PUSH IT,,, [Sammy] WE'RE ALREADY KIDNAPPED! WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG!

[Henry] We didn't get kidnapped, so it's you guys' turn! [Joey] We have the kidnapping charm with us, also known as "Jack Fain"! [Sammy] Oh I thought it was Peter Sunstram. [Sammy] [Sammy] DO THEY STACK?

[Jack] I can't wait for us to get to these spooky occult magic shops, and it's just like, "here's a bunch of overpriced tumbled gemstones and some incense!" [GM] The first one you go to is kind of that style. [Jack] Ideal! I hope they have a really tacky fake skull. [Joey] Joey is judging the whole place.

[Joey] WAIT, wait, they took you from the bar to the restaurant, and then you got the heckin' sign out of Nero's head, and he's not even gonna offer you a ride back to the bar?!? [Henry] I think what we got out of it is "not being kidnapped". [GM] JOEY is the one with the history of talking kidnappers into giving him rides, [Sammy] I do think it would be classier if he gave us a ride. I'm with Boo on this, it would be a classy gangster move. [Sammy] With that guy they kidnapped to do music for whoever's birthday party, they dropped him back off later, but, you know, it's fine, [Joey] Show your heckin' appreciation! *exasperated* THIS IS HOW WE CAN TELL HE'S AVERAGE!! [GM] Uh, lemme roll a quick like............. etiquette roll, [Sammy] Gangster Classiness, [GM] *rolls terribly* Yeah, I think he's frazzled enough -- this is gonna reflect poorly on him later. [Joey] Wow.

[Jack] Normal success for Jack! How many terrible tacky skulls do I see? [GM] Just SO many. [Sammy] This place won't help you, buddy. [Jack] I dunno, if you buy enough tacky skulls, maybe the guy won't wanna get near you. [Henry] Just throw tacky skulls at him! [Jack] A tacky skull a day keeps the pallid mask away!!

[GM] A more discerning occult collection than the other one. [Jack] The kind of place that has the more occult things like, in a locked cabinet instead of in a heap on the counter. [Sammy] In the bargain bin, [Jack] "Box of assorted random magic junk"? Yeah, I wanna rummage my hand in that, I'm not gonna get five curses, [Jack] *laughs* I'm not even AT the other place anymore and I'm still dunking on it! [Sammy] Jack's just saying these things to Joey to like, keep his spirits up. [Joey] It would be working,

[Sammy] I am curious if the restaurant is at the same address that we remember it being on. [GM] It is the same address! The name is different. [Jack] What's the new name? [GM] Lombardi's! It was Leon's. [Henry] ... some dude got his whole name changed, [Jack] Oh man, when do they do that to me, I want a legal name change! [Jack] Bringing the Yellow King into the world to get a free transition, [Sammy] No! Don't do it! He won't transition you into a human, it'll be..... something else,

[Henry] We're gonna run over the Pallid Mask. Vroom vroom motherfucker.

[GM] You do bump into something that is unyielding. [Jack] Oh no, Jack's car! [Jack] ... and also, whatever he hit, I guess!

[Joey] Joey is immediately flipping around to grab his cane; if the guy tries to get in the car, he's going to bash him in the face! and say GET OUT!! [Sammy] Well, it worked really well for Nero, so [Henry] The guy just got hit by a car and didn't move! I don't think the cane's gonna do much! [Jack] Especially not with Joey's weak noodle arms! [Joey] Yeah but he's upset!! That this guy is trying to get in the car! He was not invited in! [GM] ...make a CON roll. [Joey] [Joey] oKEY DOKEY,,,

[Sammy] Peter now is NOT the time to astral project [GM] Luckily he doesn't have that insanity currently, or he'd already be gone! [Jack] The car stops and Pete's ghost just flies through the windshield,

[Jack] I'm losing my mind... [GM] You are! 1d6 of it!

[GM] This is kind of wild magic zone, so you get some creative license. [Joey] Hmm. Hmm! Hmmmmmm... [Sammy] Oh no, you've given Joey Drew creative license,

[Joey] But when I picked out Jack's car, it's the first car that has full safety glass in it!! [Jack] [Jack] SO EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE TO REPLACE!!!

#call of cthulhu: haunted hijinx #quote post #when in doubt just keep drawing #sammy lawrence #jack fain #henry stein #last season we were sooo careful so this season we're just JUMPING RIGHT IN

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silverwhittlingknife · 1 year ago

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the reason why nu52 Dick is so simultaneously messy and yet boring is because they don't let him be bitchy enough whilst simultaneously making him a little bitch

sdfsdfdsfs I don't totally understand what this means and yet I feel like I agree with the spirit, anon <3

Outsiders 21 - preboot Dick yelling at Bruce my beloved

Yeah, caveat that there's plenty of nu52 Dick stuff that I haven't read and I don't think it's all bad, but also... man, he is not for me. As far I'm concerned, the main good thing that came out of n52/Rebirth is some setups for sad!Dick fanfic. And yeah, "Dick is not bitchy enough" is actually a pretty good summary of my complaints sdfdsfs

The thing is, nu52 Dick has some similarities to preboot Tim, in that he'll sometimes be insincerely fake-cheerful even when actually upset, plus he periodically seems uncomfortable with direct confrontation so instead he lies to avoid confrontation. And mmm I mean, I like these qualities in preboot Tim, so it's not like I think these are terrible traits to have!!

BUT :

1) Preboot Tim has no authority. But preboot Dick does, and it's frustrating to take it away from him in nu52.

There's some post-2011 panel where Dick lies to Batman and is cheery about it, a la Tim bragging to his friends about lying to Batman in Teen Titans, and I had to stare at it for ages trying to figure out why it felt like such a record scratch moment to me.

But it's because there is a huge difference between a presumably independent superhero lying to another superhero vs. a sidekick and his sidekick friends secretly joyriding in Batman's car.

Like, Tim lies to authority figures more-or-less constantly, because he doesn't want to be told what to do, but also because - importantly!! - those authority figures reasonably assume they have authority over him that he has to evade. Of course he tries to avoid direct confrontation with the JLA / Batman / Red Tornado / Starfire - they're not his equals and a direct confrontation would end badly!

Whereas Nightwing lying to Batman feels like putting him in a subordinate position in a way that preboot Dick never is. Preboot Dick always tells Batman off to his face, because preboot Dick cares about being equals and refuses to accept being subordinate. He doesn't sneak around behind Bruce's back - he fights back! If he doesn't agree with Bruce's position, he tries to argue Bruce into his own. He'll do stuff without asking Bruce's permission, but he won't conceal it; he'll make a point of making sure Bruce knows what he did and also that he isn't sorry.

2) Preboot Tim's lying / tendency to be fake with people is a consistent personality trait that's also consistently problematized. nu52 Dick's characterization is wildly all over the map.

In preboot, Tim is a liar and obsessive compartmentalizer, which is both a strength (disguises, sneaking around authority) and a problem (loved ones who are hurt by it). He's self-aware about his lies, periodically resolves to lie less, and generally fails at it.

Tim's consistent enough that you can track this character trait in all his relationships: he lies to his dad. He lies to Batman. He lies to his girlfriends. He refuses to tell Babs his real name for ages for basically no reason. He stalks Dick and then tries to run away from him in his origin story and then tries to avoid telling Dick his name. And this evasiveness consistently causes him problems!! Dick's suspicious of him. Ariana's suspicious of him. His dad is suspicious of him. Young Justice and Steph get annoyed with his secret-keeping. Young Justice want him to take off the mask. Steph wants to know his real name. When she finds out and calls him by his real name, he has a panic attack and literally runs away. When upset, he insists he's fine and fake-smiles at people. In Teen Titans, when Tim's busy being fake-cheerful and Conner is startled to see him there right after his dad died, Tim gets upset and angry at Conner and demands that he not tell anyone about Jack. Fine, Conner says, I guess it's another secret. In AC 3, he's lying to Conner again and Conner accuses him of having an insincere "Starfire voice," which is a hilarious callback to Tim being fake-agreeable-yet-secretly-bitchy at Kory when he first meets her. I feel like I get that the lying is a Tim Character Trait which is sometimes endearing and sometimes less so and which all the people who love him are gonna have different feelings about.

By contrast, nu52 Dick spends a ton of time lying but it's hard for me to model his characterization in the same way? He's sometimes fake and ... sometimes that's totally cool and sometimes people punch him! also, does it say something about him? ehhhhh maybe? no? who can say!! At the end of nu52 Nightwing, he doesn't want to go undercover and Bruce beats him up, but then in Grayson he seems totally on board with his mission and willing to actively lie to everyone, and then in Batman and Robin Eternal he carries out a whole secret mission behind nuTim's back because he thinks nuTim is maybe a spy and is scared (?) of confronting him directly, but also he's so sloppy about it that he gets followed and the bad guys find nuTim's parents. Oopsie! He represents The Heart and is super-caring but also somewhat ditzy with a tendency to leap before he looks, and also he's very very very goodlooking and Grayson would really like you to know that.

You can try to make sense of this character's internal motivations and I have read various enjoyable fanfics that do, but in the comics I don't feel like he's clearly characterized.

3) Dick should be a convincing team leader

I know I kind of talked about this earlier but it bothers me SO MUCH that I have to talk about it again dsfdsfds

Preboot Dick is a natural leader: he seizes control of the feuding personalities in the Fab Five; he does the same thing in the NTT; he stands up to Bruce. He can overrule strong personalities like Pantha and Roy; he can hold his ground against the Outsiders. He doesn't back down and he doesn't quit. He's got instinctive authority, and he's a forceful and aggressive enough leader that he can lead teams even when his teammates are feuding or difficult or arguing with each other. Sometimes he's a little too forceful and it backfires on him, but for the most part, it works!

By contrast, nu52 Dick often comes off as kinda... hapless? He's definitely not a force to be reckoned with.

Like, just to take one small example, in post-Crisis's Red Robin 14, Tim and Damian are fighting and Dick wants them to cut it out, so he throws a batarang at Tim's staff and snaps at him, and the fight stops immediately. By contrast, in nu52's Batman and Robin 10, Tim and Damian are arguing and Dick wants them to cut it out, but nuDick is incapable of confronting anyone over anything so he just sighs about it, passive-aggressive and ineffectual.

And "ineffectual" is too often the vibe I get from n52 Dick in general. You put that man with Pantha, and he'll probably be bemused, but he won't be able to make Pantha do anything, and he wouldn't be able to make Danny Chase do anything, and he can't or won't stand up to Bruce so he has to lie the way Tim does, and he would never have a fistfight with Roy over the proper way to lead a team.

And in a lot of ways this makes sense, because n52 Dick isn't a team leader, because they've deleted the Titans. He's just a guy. He's nice, I guess.

But even though he gets all kinds of excellent woobie plotlines that I'd normally enjoy (an evil organization is stalking him personally! his dad is beating him up and forcing him into becoming a spy! he's losing his memory!) his personality is usually so far off from the character I like that I struggle to get invested.

Because the thing is, Dick's leadership instincts aren't incidental to what I like about him. They're all wrapped up in his outsized sense of personal responsibility and instinctive belief that if anything is going wrong anywhere near him then it is his obligation to handle it and if anything goes wrong then it's his fault if he was involved and also his fault if he wasn't involved and actually if you have ever gotten within five feet of him and unrelatedly something bad happened to you then it's probably his fault and he FAILED. This belief gives Dick a lot of control issues and makes him bitchy sometimes and is not great for his mental health, but it's also very endearing and an outgrowth of how much Dick cares!

Anyway, re:bitchiness, I have similar feelings about various choices in Batgirls and in Tim Drake: Robin and in current Nightwing; like, I don't think any of these stories are bad ipso facto, I don't begrudge anyone who likes them, and I certainly enjoy fluffy fanfic sometimes - I don't always want the same things in transformative fandom that I want in canon.

But in comics, I often want the characters to have a bit of edge, to be cranky and difficult and just... y'know, clearly the kind of people who would choose to be vigilantes. I want them to care enough to be bitchy about it. And I often feel like I'm missing that, post-2011.

#long post #going through my old drafts and this one is SO OLD but i still stand by it #i think i was going to revise it so that it was less rambling & long #but i'm too lazy so here you are #dick grayson #tim drake #it's more about dick but i talked about tim enough i think it makes sense to tag him #I do think that the pendulum in e.g. Waid's Teen Titans is slowly swinging back to the kind of Dick characterization that I like #so this is happily not as true as it was back whenever I started writing the answer to this ask #but it's still my feelings about tt's nightwing so. sdfdsfdsfs

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j0kers-light · 3 months ago

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Hi girlie hope you're good if you're able to do asks at the moment(if you too busy at the moment it is fine i understand), Please do one where reader is Stoner and she makes 🍃 brownies and J accidentally eats one not knowing it and he then goes out at Night to cause chaos as he usually but then it starts kicking in and he is just confused about the whole thing. HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE 🥴

Hey hi and hello anon! 🖤✨

I'm still recovering from my hand surgery so I elected your request be turned into a hc! (i hope that's okay, if not, please re-send your ask and I'll add it back to my list of to-do's) this was a struggle to write even with my voice-to-text.

That being said, I personally don't interact with any recreational drugs so this is wayy out my comfort zone. I'm sorry in advance if its awful 😖

Also!!! There is a poll at the end of the hc! 🤭

Note to self: your bf has the biggest sweet tooth known to man, and knowing that fact, you should have anticipated him eating your um.. special brownies without preamble.

Any other day it wouldn't bother you. But the entire pan? Seriously? He didn't leave a single crumb!

You worked a very stressful job, lived in a stressful city, with a highly stress inducing boyfriend adding to the mix not including your family and friends.

Any means of relaxing on the low, yeah you'll take it and you have a very nice dealer (cough cough Neo) who hooks you up with the good ish. 👌🏾

High quality product at discounted prices, a judgement free transaction, and very discreet! Unfortunately that seemed to be the problem.

Because your 🍃 went undetected by Joker as you baked up a big batch of brownies. How he didn't smell it as you baked? Whatever.

You guess he can sleep through anything. 🙄

Joker was supposed to be leaving early anyway to cause chaos in the streets of Gotham so you were looking forward to a night of relaxation.

You had everything planned. Dinner, a hot bath, and your beverage of choice after you ate a square or two but NOPE!

Honestly you should have known something was up when Joker kissed you goodbye and you tasted chocolate on his lips.

Surely he couldn't have eaten your brownies, they were waiting to cool down before you cut them, yet you didn't connect the dots at the time.

Joker does not wait for things to cool down. If he sees something made with sugar, he's eating it.

The man child was all smiles as he made a joke to not have 'too much fun while he's gone." Little did he know...

Joker was doing his normal thing, quick gang meeting, casual murder and arson, and laughing gas inventory check, all before midnight.

Everything was going fine to the point J wanted to hand over the reins to Frost and head back home until he started to feel off.

Like normal, too mellow. Is that even possible for a man like him? He thought nothing of it, just nodded along during the meeting although his eyesight did get a bit blurry halfway through.

No one noticed Joker’s odd behavior until him and loyal three were out on a run and Frost was talking.

"—too easy. Right J?" No response. Three pairs of curious eyes stared at J who was too busy glancing at his hands to notice. "Yo Boss?" Frost called out again.

"Is he listening to us?" Mac added.

Neo on the other hand leaned across the table to get a good look at his employer. The invasion of privacy gained somewhat of Joker's attention, but he was too lax in moving out of the way.

Now, that everyone noticed. Joker’s reflexes were notoriously fast.

"Holy s__t is you good my guy? You looked smacked." For once Mac agreed with Neo's crass words. Even more bizarre, J nodded along.

"Uh, I'm alright. I just can't feel my life right now." J mumbled. Why was he speaking so normal? 👀

Crickets. Did they hear that right? Frost was the only one brave enough to reply, "What?"

And with a heavy sigh, Joker broke down. "I saiiiiiid, I can't feel my life! What does it all mean if I can't touch it? But more im-port-ant-ly. Why is he so pale?" Joker asked while pointing to Mac. "What was I thinking hiring a flashlight?"

Frost disguised his laugh into a cough. Mac glared at his other coworker openly laughing at the situation, "It’s not funny. Is he high?"

"Oh yes it is flashlight! Aight lemme check. Dilated pupils. Sudden change of behavior or personality. Duh? Hey Boss, did you take a hit tonight?" Neo asked to be for certain.

And then Joker's phone began to ring with your gorgeous face as the contact photo. Joker didn't hesitate answering but he didn't mean to hit speaker in the process.

"Joker?! Are you still alive, you ate an entire pan of 🍃 brownies! Have you been out yet? Please don't tell me your not out high as Cooter Brown with unlimited weapons! You crazy on a normal day, Gotham ain't ready for you in rare form. Come. Home. Now! On second thought, send me your addy. I'm coming to get you. I can’t even get high without you screwing it up!"

You ended the call and the room plunged into silence.

"Oh my God, he is high."

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lads-in-too-deep · 2 months ago

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Once Caleb comes back into MC's life, Sylus' behavior starts to shift.

Either the text is there, an emoji-less "I'm coming over" or he simply shows up, a bottle of high-quality Scotch in hand.

"My brother's here. It's not a good time." But Sylus manages to schmooze his way inside for dinner and a "quick drink", and she pretends not to see the weird looks exchanged between the two men whenever she turns her attention away.

"A hotel would be much more comfortable than a couch. Consider it a gift for my girlfriend's brother," Sylus offers as the night winds down, but Caleb refuses, always. She thinks of the gesture as sweet, but Caleb is her family, so she makes certain to keep space for him. He's her home, and she wants that feeling to be mutual.

Bedtime leaves her with a frisky Sylus, every time that Caleb is over. At some point, it stops being a surprise and almost expected. "We can't, Caleb's here."

"So we'll need to be quiet, kitten," Sylus murmurs into her neck before biting the place that never fails to elicit a moan. They're never quiet, not enough, though she muffles what she can the few seconds her brain is present in the bedroom.

Caleb stands to greet her, bleary-eyed, in the morning and she offers him an apologetic, embarrassed smile over a breakfast he made. He cooks, and Sylus doesn't try to stop him, just watches with passing intrigue.

She doesn't know what to make of it all. He can be so hard to read sometimes.

So when she's singing his praises to a friend about how well her boyfriend and brother get along, her friend, who she can read, goes quiet.

"What? What's wrong?"

Her friend's eyes shift away. "That's ... interesting, is all."

"What's interesting about it?" Her head cocks to the side, replaying the conversation in her head. Sylus, who continuously came to her apartment to welcome her brother back. She thinks it cute that he's so excited to see .... Her eyes widen in shock. "No, there's no way."

"Didn't you say he was interested in men, too?"

"Yeah, but ... Caleb? I mean ..." So many of her friends had crushes on Caleb growing up and used her to get close to him. Why would that change in her adult life? She also had feelings for him at one point, if she's honest with herself.

She shakes her head. "No, but Sy-my boyfriend wouldn't do that to me."

But even as she says it, her memories flutters back to all the moments lying in bed with Sylus' hands up her shirt with Caleb in the next room, almost like clockwork. The intense looks exchanged between them. Quiet conversations she's walked in on with Caleb looking a little flustered.

She refuses to sit on this, needing to talk this out before her mind runs more away with her than it already has.

Sylus sits in his favorite chair in his room when she bursts in. He jumps out of his chair, ready to take her into his arms when he sees the state she's worked herself into. She pulls back when he tries, needing to look into his eyes when she asks him, "I need you to tell me the truth. Are you in love with Caleb?"

The shock on his face quickly fades into full-body laughter, but when he sees her seething glare in response, he reins himself back in to answer, "No." And when her glare remains steadfast, he adds, "Explain how you arrived at this conclusion."

So she does, she lays the evidence out. And he listens intently, ruby eyes studying her.

His mouth quirks when she points out how horny he gets whenever Caleb is around, and he gives a single shake of his head. "Sweetie," he says, drawing it out. "We have sex more than only when he's around."

Her face flushes in embarrassment. "Okay but the secret conversations you two have when I'm out of the room."

Sylus offers something of a shrug. "Your brother can be ... overprotective. He seems to think you and I are not well-suited."

Hearing that startles the remaining evidence list out of her replies. "What? But he hasn't said anything to me."

Sylus' head tilts slightly to the left. "Would he?"

Caleb has no problem speaking his mind when it comes to the people in her life. So why would he stop short with Sylus? "I ... think so?"

"Have you two discussed our relationship?"

No, they have not, which is strange for Caleb. Caleb grows quiet whenever she brings up Sylus' name, but there is that slight scowl he wore with it. She had assumed he simply didn't like how often Sylus interrupted their visits.

"What did you say to him?" A new kind of suspicion enters her thoughts.

"Hmm, I wonder," is all he replies.

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rottenzombrainz · 8 months ago

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Tokyo Debunker; Ghouls + DnD (Headcanons)

I just wanted to procrastinate in peace, but inspiration struck me like a... inspiration....

Anyways, I bring you Allister's Headcanons for What I Think the Ghouls are like When Playing DnD™

This is mainly just what kind of characters I think they'd build with a little extra here and there.

also! I'm not the most knowledgeable on DnD, I just recently got into it so please bear with me 🙏

Frostheim

Jin Kamurai - He'd definitely play as a drow, but I don't know if he'd choose to be a fighter or sorcerer though. I feel like he'd also do his "tch" thing whenever the DM is setting the scene or adding in flavor text.

Tohma Ishibashi - Tohma would probably play as a warlock . I bet he plays DnD extremely logically too, focusing everything on strategy. He'd get really into trying finding outs in tough situations.

Lucas Errant - Lawful good human fighter. Next question?

Kaito Fuji - Kaito would have a bunch of different characters he switches between, but he always has insanely bad rolls and begs the DM for a reroll. Even if the situation didn't require a skill check, I have a feeling it'd still end in the DM saying "roll for initiative"

Vagastorm

Alan Mido - Alan would play a half-orc barbarian- because it sounds strong. Except he doesn't know how to rage. Or that barbarians do better with lighter armor. Or that he has to roll a dice to do things. Or-

Shohei Haizono - Sho would play as a warlock or cleric, but his patron/deity is literally just Leo /hj .I feel like he'd keep a good track of what items the party has and any little hints the DM throws in.

Leo Kurosagi - chaotic neutral tabaxi rouge...

Jabberwock

Haru Sagara - It'd be criminal if he played anything other than a druid. Though I could also see him playing as a ranger. Haru would try to appeal to the NPCs instead of stealthing, lying, or fighting. He'd also probably insist that he has to drink if his character does cus it's "more realistic"

Towa Otonashi - I would say druid if it wasn't for the fact that wild magic sorcerers are a thing. Towa would destroy everything and anything if he has the spell slots for it. In a small room with a special artifact? Fireball. Fighting an enemy with good loot near a pit? Thunder wave. An NPC welcoming his character to the town? Acid spray.

Ren Shiranami - Ren would be the most experienced out of all the ghouls. He'd probably get annoyed at all the other ghoul's lack of experience. He has the fanciest dice, the highest quality mini figs, and all of the player handbooks. Part of me also feels like he'd DM just because of how much experience he has. He'd be very unforgiving though...

Sinostra

Taiga Hoshibami - Taiga... Taiga is the player that attempts to fight everything. He attempts rolls that don't work for his character too. He'd also be the reason the party gets wiped out.

Romeo Lucci - Romeo would have an extremely charisma-based play style. It doesn't matter what class or race he is, he'll talk his way through any encounter.

Ritsu Shinjo - Ritsu's character would be a lawful good aasamir paladin that he spent 6 hours making a backstory for. And he would definitely try to give the DM suggestions after the session. I could also see him DMing himself and getting really into it with all the reference sheets and notes and such.

Hotarubi

Subaru Kagami - I feel like Subaru would only ever DM. DMing would give him a sense of control that he otherwise wouldn't have if he was a player. He'd put a lot of work into his campaigns and try to make everything as fun as possible for his players.

Haku Kusanagi - Haku would play as a bard, thinking it means he has to do the least amount of fighting. He'd take his chances on bad rolls and would keep himself well-stocked up on items.

Zenji Kotodama - I can't see Zenji playing any class but a bard. And you know he'd insist on playing an instrument every time he casts "bardic inspiration". I think he'd also get really into the roleplay aspect. He'd love doing side quests too.

Obscuary

Edward Hart - Ed would play a character completely different from himself. He'd have a lot of fun with the roleplay too. I could see him making chaotic decisions just to mess with the rest of the party. Like telling a fae his companion's names or making a deal with a devil.

Rui Mizuki - He would definitely play as a Druid, but in the way I do where I just max out my charisma and pray I never need to fight. Fighting would be his last resort in any situation because he's so unprepared in combat. The party could be halfway through a boss fight and he'd still be trying to roll persuasion.

Lyca Colt - Lyca would have a hard time getting a hang of the game and he'd try to follow the rules despite wanting to just go with the flow. He'd base his character off of himself and name them "Lyca 2" or something like that.

Mortkranken

Yuri Isami - Yuri would play as a wizard. He is so absolutely wizard-coded. He'd also max out his intelligence and wisdom with strength as his dump stat.

Jiro Kirisaki - I think Jiro is like Subaru and would only ever DM. I also feel like he'd be surprisingly good at it? The roleplay aspect, the descriptive language, improv when the players do stupid shit. His campaigns wouldn't be very creative, but they'd be super fleshed-out.

woohoo I'm finally done!!! I've been working on this batch of hcs for days, so I hope you all enjoy!!

#tkdb #tokyo debunker #tdb #tokyo debunker headcanons #headcannons

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jennelikejennay · 6 months ago

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In my watchthrough of second-tier TOS episodes (having watched the good ones first) I think a few loathed ones maybe aren't so bad?

Well, they're still bad. But they have more redeeming qualities than I thought.

Gonna talk about The Omega Glory, just in passing about Bread and Circuses (because that was pretty good), and about The Paradise Syndrome.

The Omega Glory

The Omega Glory is about 3/4 of a good episode. Basically, it's the plot of Insurrection: rogue Starfleet officer wants to break the Prime Directive because he thinks a primitive planet has the secret of immortality. And we get some good points about interfering with things we don't understand and the purpose of the prime directive. (Which, by season 2, exists a lot more than it did in season 1.) Plus, our heroes get the chance to show their worth by their resistance to this guy.

And then it takes a sharp left turn into absurdity. It's not enough for it to be a gentle Cold War metaphor. No, we need to write HI THIS IS ABOUT THE COLD WAR on its forehead and play the Star-Spangled Banner. The point being that you can't say "our side is better than their side because of our cherished founding principles" and then completely ignore the cherished founding principles to be a bigot. Which isn't a bad point but we don't need to be kicked in the face with it.

There's been a recurring theme (I'm not sure it's the first time it turned up, but this was the most pointed occasion) that development of other planets mirrors the development of Earth. Apparently it's a known scientific law: Hodgkins's law of Parallel Planet Development.

I thought this was pretty stupid. Why would planets all develop the same way? Why not jump between parallel universes if what you wanted to talk about was planets going in different directions from the same starting point? It's one thing to have themed planets, that's just a clever way to reuse whatever costumes they had lying around. But couldn't they just have an Earth-like planet, without having them actually have the paper Declaration of Independence lying around? It strains credibility and makes it look like history is some kind of inevitability instead of relying on thousands of factors and choices.

However, I'm not entirely sure I was right.

Bread and Circuses

This is a much better-appreciated episode, for good reason. It has some great Spock and Bones moments, Kirk showing his stubbornness strength of character, the crew loyally standing by to follow orders even though they know their captain is in trouble.

One brief off-topic moment: this guy is queer-coded, right? Extremely?

When he asks for Kirk to be sent to his room, Kirk gives a look that suggests to me he very much worries what this obviously gay Roman wants with him. But actually, he's given a nice meal and a female slave to obey his every whim. Which I think I will write a different post about sometime because it may be Kirk's most problematic moment. OR IS IT?

But anyway, it's another parallel Earth, Earth from a single point in history with one specific difference (the Roman empire never fell. No this does not make historical sense especially given they speak modern English). Yet again there is a twist ending where we realize an important parallel to Earth history and get a 2x4 sized moral lesson. But as this one is more of an afterthought, it didn't ruin the episode the way Omega Glory's ending did.

The Paradise Syndrome

Commonly reviled as one of the worst episodes, and yet....I kind of liked it?

I mean, yes, the stereotyped portrayal of Native Americans is a problem. It's positive, but in that weird idealizing way that media tends to be about Native Americans. The Chakotay problem, we could call it.

But all of the scenes that take place off the planet, between Spock and Bones, are great. Spock won't eat and won't sleep because he wants to save Kirk and all the people on the planet. Bones at first thinks he's being heartless, but he soon recognizes that Spock cares very deeply and made all of correct decisions. So let no one ever say Bones doesn't know how to be nice to Spock. He just usually does it when Kirk isn't in the scene, because Kirk isn't there to do it. He knows he's the guy on the spot and it's time to put the banter away.

This episode also has the first mind meld between Kirk and Spock! Spock struggles with it, saying Kirk's mind is "extremely dynamic." Okay, Spock, keep your fra'als in your pants.

But it was interesting, near the end, when Spock said that the Native Americans down on the planet weren't a perfect parallel of Earth development, they were actual Earth people taken from Earth by a species called "the Preservers," who scattered various human people all over the galaxy.

Bones says, "I'd wondered why there were so many humans around," and that's it, that's all we get on the Preservers. But if we assume this explains the other two episodes, I'm not so mad about it after all. A retcon when they realized they were doing it too much, or a trace of a long arc? Who knows. But I'm adopting it now: that old paper Constitution was stolen from Earth along with a bunch of Americans and Soviets and planted on the planet in The Omega Glory. Some Romans got planted on the planet in Bread and Circuses. It's not parallel development—it's branching development from a common source.

Why does this matter to me so much? I guess I just like things to make some amount of sense. It's always nice when they do. It doesn't redeem that obnoxious lecture on the Constitution or a planet of Native Americans thinking Kirk is a god, but it redeems a little bit the stupidity of those cultures existing at all.

#star trek #star trek tos #star trek the original series

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vodika-vibes · 1 year ago

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Hello my dear Vod’ika! Tis I, 💋 anon! First, congratulations on your first follower event!

Maybe I please have jonquil (please return my affection) and dark pink rose (gratitude) with Echo and F!Reader? Some fluffy, soft cuteness with Echo being in love with her and he finally tells her when they have a quiet moment together?

Love your writing 🩵🩵

Pen and Sword, my dear!

Love,

-💋 anon

@kiss-anon

So This Is Love

Summary: You invited Echo to go stargazing, and hidden feelings come to light.

Pairing: ARC Trooper Echo x F!Reader

Word Count: 975

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @kiss-anon

A/N: The words didn't wanna word this morning, so I'm very sorry if this isn't the quality that you prefer from me. Still, I hope you like it!

“You’re staring, Echo.” You say with a warm grin as you turn to look at the man sitting next to you. The man who’s supposed to be watching the stars with you, but instead has been watching you for the last ten minutes.

“Well, how could I not?” Echo asks, amusement crossing his handsome face, “I see the stars all of the time, but I only get to see you every now and then.”

You shake your head and laugh quietly, “You’re being silly. I’m not anywhere as pretty as the stars.”

“Hm. Agree to disagree,” Echo counters.

This time you laugh louder, “Alright, alright.” You grin at him, “Thank you for coming with me.” You pause, “Actually, thank you for always humoring my weird requests.”

“None of your requests have been overly weird, I don’t think.” Echo replies.

You squint at him suspiciously, “What about the time I asked you to help me look for Moon Flowers at midnight.”

He pauses, “I…got to spend time with you, and we had fun.”

You laugh and lean against his shoulder, “You’re something of a soft touch, Echo.”

“I am not!” He sputters as he bumps you with his shoulder, “I’m considerate.” He adds primly.

“Uh-huh, that too.” You say with a grin, as you settle your weight against his shoulder, “Still, I appreciate it.”

“Well, you don’t have to. I like spending time with you. You’re so much more interesting than my brothers.”

“That’s mean.”

“You haven’t met my brothers,” Echo says dryly.

“I’ve met…Fives and Jesse! I think.”

“That is true. I’m sorry about that.”

You laugh, “They’re not that bad. A little…intense, I suppose, but not hard to get along with.”

He smiles at you, “I’m glad you like them, honestly.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

Echo flushes and averts his gaze, “Ah…not reason. I just like that my friend doesn’t hate my twin.”

“Echo?” You lean over slightly to look him in the face, “Are you lying to me?” You ask, startled.

“...maybe, just a little.”

“Oh, come on, Echo! It’s me! I’m not going to judge you for what you say.” You pause, “Oh! Is it Fives? Does he have a crush on me?”

“Fives has a girlfriend who he’s completely obsessed with.” Echo says quickly.

“Then why does it matter if I like them or not?” You prod as you lean across him so you’re able to look him in the eye.

Echo stares at you, long and hard, for a lot longer than he normally would, and then he laughs softly.

“Echo?”

He lifts his hands and presses them against your cheeks, gently squishing them. “You’re so pretty, you know that?”

“Oh. Thank you.” You reply with a bright smile. “You’re not too bad looking either.”

“I have good genes,” Echo jokes, as he loosens his grip slightly.

“You definitely have those,” You say with a laugh.

Echo stares at you for a moment, and then a quiet curse falls from his lips, before he leans in and presses his lips, feather light, against yours.

You’re so surprised that you topple across his lap and have to roll so that you’re looking up at him, your eyes wide in surprise, “Echo?”

“I suppose I should have given you some warning,” He jokes softly, as he looks down at you, his thumbs rubbing soft circles on your cheeks, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You smile up at him, your face heated with flustered embarrassment, “You just surprised me. But, why did you-?”

“I love you.”

Your words die in your throat and you blink at Echo, startled, “I…oh….thank you?”

Echo shoots you an odd look, “You’re welcome?”

“I, wait. No. That’s not-” You pause and squeeze your eyes shut, “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant to say. Give me a second to-” You take a deep breath, to settle your nerves, “Okay. You can tell me what you need to tell me.”

He watches you evenly, a small smile on his lips, “I love you.” Echo repeats, “I love how excited you get about little things, like that purple frog you got a picture of the other day. I love how you have no qualms about dragging me to help you find things that don’t exist. I love how you’re able to find beauty in everything, even things that aren’t beautiful.”

Your face heats even more, and you roll to press your face against his stomach, “Echo! You’re embarrassing me!”

“Deal with it.” He says with a grin, which softens as he brushes his hand through your hair, “I love how you’re always so happy to see me. And nothing would make me happier than you returning my affection.”

You sling your arms around his waist, “You’re asking for such a small thing Echo!”

“It doesn’t feel small.” He replies quietly, “It feels like everything.”

You don’t say anything for a moment as you tighten your arms around him, “I love you too.” You finally admit, “I have for a while.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Was…embarrassed.” You mumble, “Didn’t think you felt the same. Didn’t think you would feel the same.”

“Will you look at me? Please, cyare?”

You loosen your grip and roll so your head is resting on his lap again, he has a wide smile on his face, and you’re helpless but to smile back, “I’m glad I was wrong,” You whisper.

Echo laughs softly, “I am too.” He brushes some hair out of your eyes, “So, what do you think? Want to be my girlfriend?”

“Yes, please.” You whisper. And then you squeak as Echo effortlessly moves you so that you’re sitting on his lap.

“Good, that means I can kiss you again, right?”

And your face burns as you press it against his shoulder, but you have a grin on your lips and you nod eagerly.

#star wars #tcw #vodika-vibes follower celebration #arc trooper echo x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #f!reader fic #answered asks

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running-swimming-living · 9 months ago

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This is a life update. TL:DR I quit my job

Below is just a stream of consciousness. Perhaps you will find something illuminating or truthful in it.

I've been trying to write this for about two weeks now. I've been trying to figure out how to convey what I want without sharing too much. I feel like I am always trying to hide the parts of myself that are unbecoming. What I'd really like to do is share my journey as authentically as I can. That means the mental illness, the trauma, the struggle, the poor dieting and all the exercise. I don't want to be half of a person anymore.

We all have aspects of ourselves we don't share. But the toll of being so open about something so profound in my life is suffocating at times. How is it I can have a disability that nobody talks about?

But when the topic comes up, I'm not willing to share. Does that make me a coward?

I forgot to lie at church. The topic of my 78 year old friend came up and I couldn't bring myself to say that I met her because we both have mental illness. Instead, I said, "through mutual friends." But isn't that how I live my life? By lying about my illness, the symptoms, my quality of life, and the jobs I work.

I left my job because I was having symptoms regarding my mental illness and trauma. I don't want that. But it's the first time I've had to accept that my illness and past life experiences are holding me back from growing up in ways I didn't expect. I always knew I'd be entry level at 30. But I didn't realize exactly what entry level would mean. I thought I could do this 40 hr a week job for a decent pay and get on with life. But it's not that simple.

So now I'm here trying to find a job that is a good fit with someone who would hire someone like me. And that is such a real fear. I don't come without some risks.

But I have so much to offer. I can accomplish so much when I have the right support and the right environment. I certainly have skills and value. But where I find the most success with myself is where I don't know.

And I want to be a part of this community. I've been shying away from Tumblr because I feel so isolated and alone. I feel ashamed for who I am. I am not proud of how I continue to let people down. Mostly, myself.

I had a conversation with our Pastor at church. He asked what my fall plans were and I simply said, "I don't know." And he just gave me a look. A look like, "you can do so much better." And that's where I'm at, I guess.

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vynxwave · 8 months ago

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Sorry for this vent ask but I feel like I'm losing my mind seeing this: not me returning to the Earthspark tag to see what people were thinking of the trailer and stuff and immediately regretting it LMAO I'm really wishing that people who called the first third of the season garbage had just quit, because if they hated good episodes and don't understand the show as it is, they'll hate the next batch if it's also good and I'm not looking forward to the reception! I'm disappointed that it's like the book has been written on the beginning of the season. It's making me kinda spiteful/toxic and actively hope for things the fandom would hate to happen. How are you feeling about the fandom right now as the s2a lover & understander lol - arceespinkgun

I'm having the same experience as you looking at the fandom. Like holy shit, all of the complaints/fears are so baseless it's irritating.

I've seen people fearing that the Chaos Terrans' deaths won't be acknowledged/mourned... for some reason? It's such nonsense and completely ignorant of the strong family theme in EarthSpark and how it deals with interpersonal relationships/conflict, and the fact EarthSpark does reference/mention earlier events. That's not even mentioning that the Maltos are literally shown to care about them.

I've seen lots of people hoping that their headcanons come true and... I really think people need to understand that EarthSpark isn't written like how fanworks are written. I feel like for EarthSpark's fandom it's such a prevalent mindset, for some reason? I don't mean this in a sense of 'it's bad to have headcanons' but rather people should see the show for what it actually presents and be able to understand why the show goes how it does.

Like, characters aren't just doing things — they're also tools used by the narrative to convey messages, themes, and morals.

It's so weird how people have been treating S2a as if it's a whole season, even before S2b was decided to be called S3. I hope people will understand that S3 is functionally S2b when it releases.

Also, the complaints about the animation quality are so overblown. The animation in the trailer and S2a's looks great to me.

People hate Decepticons being antagonists, they hate Chaos Terrans being antagonists, they hate humans being antagonists... it's so weird. It really would not have made sense for the Quintessons to come so early in the season (S2a). The Quintesson Executioner appearing, though, does make sense appearing so early because it helps set up for the Quintessons to arrive later, as does Terratronus.

In S1 there was not set up for Quintessons to arrive in S2. There was, however, set up for Terratronus with Mandroid alluding to her in S1E25-26 The Last Hope with "... you have no idea the power that's been lying beneath your base all these years" "Showing you the weapon it's perched upon" when he uses the CyberSlayer on the Space Bridge. Then in S2E01 Aftermath Starscream says "Beneath Witwicky lies a tremendous weapon" which calls back to Mandroid's allusion to Terratronus; and when Starscream is talking to the Decepticons about making New Cybertron in S2E09 Witwicky the framing calls back to Mandroid's moment again when the Witwicky Tower (the defunct Space Bridge) is in frame — where we know Terratronus lies beneath.

Like, the way the series is building up to the Quintessons is great and cohesive if you look at the actual story that's being told!

Chances are the scripts for these next episodes were finished before S2a was released, so I really hope I don't hear an utterance of "retcon!" or "they fixed xyz!" when these episodes are released.

EarthSpark S2b/S3 will be great and I hold no reservations about it, regardless of the rest of the fandom.

There's so many weird fears about what characters might not be present... like y'all... the trailer did not show everybody. The entire cast not being in some episodes/shots or synopsis does not mean xyz characters won't appear.

Honestly, a lot of what I read from people makes me wonder how much people understand about how to analyze media or how series are written. Like, I'm no king of analysis or whatever myself, but why are people unable to understand why certain choices or directions are made? It's weird how people are acting as if S2a is just sooo incongruent with S1 when that's really not the case at all if you go back and look — truly, like you said, it makes me wonder why people keep sticking around if they hate the story being told. I mentioned characters being tools of the narrative, and it really feels like people don't understand that when they're analyzing EarthSpark.

I'm currently reading Marvel UK G1 Transformers and EarthSpark's S1 established the Decepticons with such similar, or even verbatim, sentiments. But even without them the Decepticons' perspective in the show was clear to me.

Is it really surprising the Decepticons, who never valued/liked Earth or its inhabitants or the Autobots or the Maltos/Terrans, would fight the Autobots and Maltos/Terrans for the Embershards — the Embershards, which are key to building/securing themselves a new home (so promises Starscream)? It feels like people don't consider the characters' perspectives and their relation to the world/others around them when it's such an important part of analysis. And the necessity of conflict in a story.

I really don't understand how people thought the Decepticons would've turned good following S1... like it wouldn't have been warranted/earned. Now in S2b/S3, the episode synopses don't suggest the Decepticons and Autobots/Maltos/Terrans have a continued competition for anything; we do, however, see Breakdown punching SkullCruncher in the trailer which is very curious — given the setting, he's likely defending Bumblebee. I have seen people mention Aftermath in relation to Breakdown, and yeah, I wonder what Breakdown'll make of Aftermath's cruel death — some have wondered if he'll defect.

Really the main episodes I've seen people talking positively of are Breakdown & Bumblebee's and Prowl's.

It's so insane looking at a fandom and seeing a lack of actual fans and people just... not understanding the story. Hard being the S2a lover & understander in a world full of S2a haters & misconstruers! I genuinely cannot escape mentions of EarthSpark without people's dislike of S2a being the default opinion, and it's so frustrating! I know that if people do end up liking this batch of episodes, they'll follow it up with a "better than S2" which'll be annoying because S2a is the set up for S2b/S3.

I don't really have much to say about the trailer myself as I'm happy with what it shows because it looks interesting and the episode synopses sound great. The character I'm most excited for personally is Megatron, but I'll be enjoying all the others as well.

#earthspark spoilers #transformers earthspark #earthspark s2a #earthspark season 2 #earthspark s2b #earthspark season 3 #vynx.analysis #analysis #earthspark season 1 #like ultimately nothing is perfect or flawless but the majority of earthspark's criticisms stem from misconstruction or it not being done #i could yap about and analyze this show forever #my starscream analysis post is still being worked on im just taking forever. might not end up getting done before the new eps but oh well #and after that i might be making an analysis post of all the decepticons which will probably take just as long

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accirax · 1 year ago

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initial thoughts on DCAS episode 11

oh my god

i had already guessed that Alec was lying (much like Jake did), but this was a really nice explanatory touch! Alec and Riya's friendship is, as usual, one of the season highlights for me.

would've been a lot more interesting if the campers could have chosen their own partners in one way or another, imo, but that would definitely eat up a lot of time in an already packed episode. plus, some pairings (like Connor and Riya) probably couldn't have happened this way, given how Riya wound up reacting to Connor.

"alright Fiore, here's how we prevent you from going home this week," one could say.

i was SO worried that Alec was going to have another confessional at some point being like "lol i was testing my acting skills on Fiore too" but he DIDN'T. which means this is CANON. THE ADOPTION IS BACK ON!!!!!!!!

okay, i actually love the decision to pair Hunter and Grett together here. both of them are the "very flawed but kinda mistreated partner of their appearances-obsessed date," so it makes sense that Hunter could give Grett a good perspective on this. also, is it just me, or did they rework Hunter's personality in this episode to be more like S2? i liked it.

i'm going to put every Fiore and Alec moment in this post and you can't stop me. i am initially thinking about them.

"joke's on you fucker i didn't teach her literally any of this. she's just built different."

as much as i enjoy Alec appreciating his daughter's sass, this does seem like a pretty radical heel turn from "i only voted Connor out of this game because it was what was best for him." i guess maybe spending time with Riya and the other villains has caused Alec to fall further off the deep end/forget about Connor's genuinely nice qualities...? or it's inconsistency between different writers, who knows.

i am 0% a jul(?) shipper, but, damn, the jul shippers were eating well this episode.

Yul is such an interesting little guy.

James flexing his character arc, we love to see it.

WHAT IS IT WITH THE CYAN WOMEN AND SECRETLY BEING JACKED????

society..... it's becoming more utopian........

see, this is why i didn't think Tess would be the one to return to the game.

Aiden is such a hater, i love him. but, overall, i agree with Lake. we're definitely sowing the seeds for a Jake redemption(/winner?) arc and a heroes' reunion.

Riya, finally finishing what she started in S2 of making the gays fall off cliffs.

villains are so fun. i love villains.

THE SOFT DAD SMILE IS BACK :D

ooh, nice callback.

this is an objectively funny screenshot. why does Alec yell like that

what a surprising outcome! (/s /lh)

:,) <3

i wish Aiden and James had more of an opportunity to talk during this episode :/ it's fine, though-- i think that James and Lake's characters were used more effectively this way.

they're getting back together after this trust me guys i'm disventure camp

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

they truly are family now. i love it.

"not that bad" is a weird way to describe your would-be crush.

this will be a fun scene! idk which episode "Saturday" will be, though. both because idk how many days will pass in any given episode and also bc i don't recall which day today is in canon.

i do wonder what evil Gabby is doing here. i guess maybe it'll just be the side of Gabby that wants to run with the villains alliance for power vs the side that wants to follow Ellie's advice? that seems kind of weird. maybe it'll be more like the side that wants to go mad with power on the revenge quest vs Gabby's more rational and strategic side? either way, strange cliffhanger.

can't we just have everyone here... always... all the time...? no? okay :( well, it was still really nice to get the whole gang back together for this episode. i'll look forward to seeing them again in the finale.

and, hey, Connor's back in the game now! and he can't be eliminated next episode, at least. are there going to be three players with immunity...? that could get spicy. we'll see how the heroes and villains smack down when the next real elimination rolls around. back up to ten to nine again... see you next time!

#disventure camp #disventure camp spoilers #dcas #dcas initial thoughts #i had a bit of a rough day today so i'm really glad that this episode was there to cheer me up #i would've been even HAPPIER with one slight modification (which i'm sure you can guess) but. this shall do.

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stargazer-sims · 1 year ago

Text

The Art of Redemption

(part 20)

previous // next // story index

—————

"I didn't realize it'd be this easy."

Nikolai watches in fascination as Ginger slides the iron along the length of a damp towel spread over her ironing board. Underneath the towel is one of his medals. He can see the silver peeking out from under the edge. Tiny wisps of steam rise up from the towel, and the iron emits a soft sound that's somewhere between a sigh and a hiss, as if it can't make up its mind whether it's proud of a job well done or annoyed that this particular job is necessary.

They’re in Ginger’s kitchen with its cheerful yellow-painted walls and a large window that faces her apartment building’s courtyard. He’d spent last night here at her place and he'd slept remarkably well on the pull-out couch, with Tangerine tucked into the crook of his arm. This morning, Ginger made tea, waffles, and fruit salad with cottage cheese for breakfast, and then they went to the rink together. Afterwards, as Ginger had promised, she took him shopping for the things they’d need to restore and preserve his skating memorabilia.

Ginger smiles as she lifts the iron and sets it upright at the end of the ironing board. "I didn't say it'd be difficult. All I said was that it'd be a bit of work." She peels back the towel to reveal the medal. Its ribbon looks as good as new. "You've got a lot of medals. This isn't exactly a ten-minute task."

"Sorry."

"Don't say that," she admonishes. "I'm glad to do it. They deserve to look their best. Here." She lifts the current medal from the ironing board and passes it to him. "I'd be furious if anyone damaged my medals, but I know you'd help me fix them."

"I would, if I'd known this trick." He carries the medal to the table and lays it on the leaf of white tissue paper he'd already set out for it. Wrapping it carefully, he puts it in the plastic storage box he'd bought earlier that day. "Can I try doing the next one? Give your arm a break."

"Sure," Ginger agrees. "Shall I show you what to do, or has Beth-Anne been teaching you how to iron as well as teaching you how to cook?"

He shakes his head. "She irons my shirts. I don't think she trusts me with it. But I do know how to wash my own laundry now."

"She truly is your second mother, isn't she? Teaching you how to cook and do laundry. What else has she taught you?"

"I'm getting pretty good at cleaning my own bathroom. Apparently, she doesn’t do, uh… smelly man bathrooms, I think is how she phrased it.”

Ginger laughs. "Lord help us. Is she as bossy teaching you housekeeping skills as she is on the ice?"

"Surprisingly, no," he says. "I'm actually seeing a whole new side of her, living under the same roof, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. She has more mom qualities than even I imagined."

"I'm glad it's working out," Ginger says.

"Me too. She’s letting me stay there until I finish my coaching courses, at least. We'll see what happens afterwards."

"So, you're doing that, then? Coaching, I mean."

"Yeah." He joins her by the ironing board as she pulls another one of his medals — a gold one this time — out of the cardboard box on the counter. His breath catches a little when he recognizes which one it is. "Ginger, I really have to fix this one myself."

She glances down at it. "ISU World Figure Skating Championship 2010. Yes, I can see why you'd want to sort this one out yourself. The 2006 and 2009 ones as well, I expect."

"When you find them, yeah," he says.

She gives the medal to him. "All right. Lay it flat, and press the ribbon as smooth as you can with your hand. Then we'll put the towel on."

"Okay." He does as she instructs. "How's this?"

"Good. Now, the towel. Don't cover up the gold bit. You don't want to iron that."

"Got it."

“Press down firmly, but not too hard.” Ginger positions herself behind him and places her hand over his to guide him for the first couple of strokes with the iron. "Yes, that’s the way. Well done.”

He concentrates on what he's doing, but that doesn't prevent him from thinking about the world championships. The competition was in Italy last year, and a record number of Canadian skaters had qualified, four of whom were from their very own Brindleton Bay Skating Club; himself in the senior men's category, Ginger in senior women's and their friends Hunter and Juliet in pairs.

Their coaches had considered it a triumph for so many of them to have made it in. However, by the end of the week, their elation at qualifying paled in comparison to the emotional high of what sports journalists had dubbed 'The Canadian Sweep'.

It hadn't really been a sweep, of course. That would've required Canadians to win gold in all four categories. In reality, Canadian ice dancers won silver, and although Juliet and Hunter didn't have a top-three finish, the other Canadian pair in the competition took home bronze. Ginger, who'd received her citizenship the previous summer and was finally able to officially compete for Canada, won gold in her category, and Nikolai had also claimed gold in his. It was his second Worlds gold in a row.

Would I have made it three in a row at Worlds this season? he wonders. Is Ginger going to be able to get her own double gold?

Like him, Ginger has more than one world championship gold medal, and also like him, she won her first and second ones in non-consecutive years. Nothing would excite him more than to see her earn back-to-back titles.

He hopes she's ready. She hadn't skated yesterday, and from what he'd seen from her in practice today, she doesn't appear to be concerned at all. Stan didn't seem particularly bothered either. He'd been going easy on her.

But, maybe that shouldn't have been a surprise. Ginger looked flawless on the ice. Nikolai tried to observe every move she’d made, and he hadn't noticed a single thing he thought she could improve on. Her performance was powerful and beautiful and technically perfect.

Don't worry about her. She's got this, he tells himself, but the directive only partially works. He's still going to worry, not just because he wants her to do well, but because he wants her to be safe, to not be careless or overconfident.

This year's world championship is being held in Russia, in Moscow, and it's taking place in just a couple of weeks, near the end of March. It's been more than a year since Nikolai has been to his grandfather and parents' home country, and he's overcome with the sudden, crazy notion that he could go and watch the competition. He's not a fan of flying, and he'd have to pay for the trip out of his own pocket, but he's certain it'd be worth it to see his best friend skate her way to a spot at the top of the podium.

"Nikolai." Ginger's voice inserts itself into his thoughts.

"What?"

"I think it's done."

"Oh." He sets the iron aside, and then pulls away the towel to find that it is indeed done. It looks as pristine as it did when the ISU official had draped it around his neck last spring in Turin.

On impulse, he picks it up and puts it on. Somewhere in the back of his mind, an imaginary crowd cheers and tosses bouquets of flowers onto the ice, and O Canada plays. He swallows convulsively.

Ginger's palm comes to rest on his back. She rubs gently between his shoulder blades. "You okay?"

He nods. "I'm... I guess I'm just a little sad. All of this has been a lot."

"I can only imagine," she says. "It's okay to be sad."

"I know." He touches the medal hanging around his neck. "I'm getting better, though. My leg's getting stronger, and I'm feeling better about most things. Going to the rink with Beth-Anne every day has helped me a lot."

"I think mostly everyone is glad to see you there."

"I'm glad to be there," he tells her. "I really do want to coach, you know. I wasn't sure at first, but I realized I don't want to leave the sport even if I can't compete. This seems like the way that makes the most sense since I discovered that I really like helping people learn new skills. Beth-Anne says I'm good at it too. She thinks I'll be a great coach."

"For what it's worth, I'd tend to agree with her."

"Thanks. Your opinion's worth a lot to me, if you want to know," he says. "Anyway, the other reason I want to get into coaching is kind of a selfish one."

"Oh?"

"There's this one little kid..."

"Eden?"

"Yeah, Eden Seong. Have you seen him skate? He's only ten and he's absolutely amazing. He's going to be a champion some day, and I want to be there for that."

"He's one of Beth-Anne's students, right?"

"Right, but Beth-Anne says he might be my student in a couple of years, once he’s in Junior division.”

“And how does little Eden feel about that idea?”

“He’s into it. I think he’d want me to start coaching him right now if we were both ready,” Nikolai says. “I've been helping Beth-Anne with Eden’s individual lessons, and with one of her Novice students, and the group classes. She thinks I'll be able to teach a preschool group class by myself by September."

"That's brilliant," Ginger says. "Do you think you're ready for the challenge of teaching four year olds how to skate backwards and how to stop without colliding with something?"

He grins, remembering the antics of the five little skaters in the Saturday preschool class. "Well, I already taught one girl how to stop without crashing into me or into the boards, so I think I'll be fine."

"Helmets are mandatory, I hope."

"For the preschool kids? Yeah, definitely."

Ginger laughs. "I meant for you."

"With the way they bounce around, I think hockey shin pads might be more useful for me," he says.

"When Beth-Anne gets back, I'm going to come and watch you in action," Ginger declares. She pokes around in the cardboard box and retrieves another medal. "Here's Worlds 2009. I'll look for 2006 as well. Can you do this one on your own?"

"Yes," he confirms. "Do you really want to watch me work with the kids?"

"Adorable children and adorable you? Why wouldn't I?" she says. "The only thing that'd make the entire scenario any cuter than that would be if you brought the bear."

"I could make that happen."

"We should go to Build-A-Bear and see if we can find some skates for him."

Nikolai laughs. "He actually has some already. Workout gear and costumes too. If you want to come to my house with me later, we can find all his stuff and dress him up."

"Sounds like a project for tomorrow." Ginger looks both amused and pleased. "I had something else in mind for tonight."

"LIke what?" Nikolai asks.

"Ordering Korean food and watching the opening ceremonies of World Juniors. You did tell Brett you were going to watch, didn't you?"

"To watch him skate, yeah. I honestly didn't think about the opening ceremonies, but I’m liking this plan. Korean food because the competition's in South Korea?”

“Exactly so.”

“I like it. Can I sleep over again?"

“I think you’d better. South Korea’s twelve hours ahead of us and the ceremony’s on at half-past nine. It’ll be your bedtime by the time it’s over.”

“Yours too.”

“Mine too,” she concedes.

"What are we going to do between now and nine-thirty?" he inquires.

"Finish this, for a start." Ginger gestures at the ironing board where he's pressing the ribbon of his Worlds gold from 2006. The other two are around his neck, and they clink together gently each time he moves. "I've got dance time this afternoon, and Uncle Stan's probably going to be there. You can come along, if you like. Are you allowed to dance yet?"

"As long as I don't jump or put all my weight on my bad leg, I don't see why not," he says. "Nobody specifically said I can't dance, and I'd love to dance with you. It can replace my time on the treadmill."

"How much time on the treadmill are you allowed to do?"

"Thirty minutes."

"Right, then." Ginger nods, as if settling something in her own mind. "After thirty minutes, you've got to stop, and if you get tired or your knee starts hurting before thirty minutes, you stop."

She looks so serious, he has to put the iron down and cover his mouth to smother his laughter. "Are you channelling Beth-Anne right now?"

She folds her arms across her body and arches an eyebrow as she gives him a mock glare so reminiscent of Beth-Anne that it's uncanny. She manages to smooth out her English accent somehow as she demands, "Nikolai Pavlenko, are you questioning my coaching decisions?"

He snorts inelegantly in his futile effort not to crack up, "Oh my God..."

Ginger obviously tries to maintain her stern expression, but she dissolves into giggles too. "We've all spent way too much time together, I think."

"No," he says, once he catches his breath. "There's not such thing as too much time spent with you. Or Beth-Anne, for that matter. Or Uncle Stan. We're family."

"I love that sentiment, honestly," she says.

"Me too." Steady enough to resume ironing once more, he finishes another medal and then puts it around his neck with the other two. "There. That's my third Worlds gold done. How many do we have left?"

Ginger peers into the box. "About eight or nine. Are you going to put those three away before you press any more, or do you plan to wear all your Worlds medals at once?"

He considers for a moment. "All at once. Do you see the silver ones, or did we already get to those and I didn't notice?"

"Let's see... Here's 2007 and 2008," Her hand emerges with the two silver medals, and she sets them on the ironing board. "We're only missing 2004 now. Just give me a second."

"No problem. These'll take me a few minutes. I'm not as good as you at ironing yet," he says. "What time is your dance session, by the way? I can drive us over there."

"It's at three o'clock," she answers. "But, I thought perhaps we could take the bus."

"And... keep riding past our stop on the way home?"

"Hmm... For a couple of hours, perhaps."

"Let's do it," he says. "Do you want to stop to pick up food on the way back, or should we just order in?"

"Order in. That way, we can put our pyjamas on and settle in for the night, and if we happen to accidentally fall asleep on the sofa bed together, at least we'll already be dressed for it."

Nikolai smiles. More and more, he's learning that situations don't have to be monumental or momentous to be significant. Today's been a good day so far, an ordinary day. Nothing dramatic had to happen for him to find some sort of meaning in it. All he needs to understand right now is that he feels safe and that he’s content to be with his friend. Skating on TV, spicy noodles, and a sleepover. What more could he possibly want?

He and Ginger continue to chat amiably while they finish the task of getting all the wrinkles and creases out of the ribbons. Then, she takes a bunch of silly pictures of him with all six of his world championship medals around his neck at once, and they post them to their social media accounts with the most ridiculous captions they can come up with.

When they're done playing, they wrap the remaining medals and tuck them into the storage box. Ginger says she can keep the box here, if that'd make him feel more comfortable, and he agrees. He trusts her. If anyone would take care of them as if they were her own, it'd be Ginger.

Nikolai is just nestling the last small tissue paper wrapped bundle into the plastic container when his phone beeps for attention. It's a text alert. His phone is on the counter next to the microwave.

"Can you check that for me, please?" he asks Ginger.

"Sure," she says. She crosses the kitchen and scoops up the phone. A second later, she utters a half-spoken, half-groaned, "Ugh."

"What is it?" Nikolai inquires as he snaps the lid onto the storage box. "Or do I want to know?"

"It's Anya," Ginger holds out the phone at arm's length, as if it's giving off a bad smell. "She's written part of it in Russian, but I assume it's something disgusting if the string of pink heart emojis is anything to judge by. The other bit says, 'did you get our cat back?'."

"Our cat?" Nikolai echoes, incredulous. "Since when is Tangerine 'our' cat? She's mine. Anya barely tolerates her."

"Would you like me to send a reply to her?" Ginger asks.

"No, just delete that message. I'm not about to have a whole conversation with her through texts, and you shouldn't have to either."

"Do you really just want to delete it?"

"Yes," Nikolai says. "I'm determined that we're going to get to enjoy our plans for the rest of the day, and there's no way I'm going to let her mess it up."

#writing #the art of redemption #theartofredemption #nikolai pavlenko #ginger holmes #stargazersims

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xecutivecucumber · 1 year ago

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Executive Cucumber's Thoughts on the Bad Batch 03x09!

Spoilers under the cut

Apologies for this being late, I worked overtime and then immediately went to rescue my sister and her kids from a car breakdown. I got overwhelmed pretty quick.

I really liked this episode, but as I was in a not great mood when I watched it, I didn't absorb as much as I normally do. (My mood really affects how much I enjoy something, regardless of quality. I was in a foul mood when I first watched Faster and was fairly critical of it. I was wrong.)

This is really the first time we've seen not beautiful weather on Pabu and that's terrifying.

CROSSHAIR IS PART OF A COMMUNITY!!! Have yall considered that he's never been a part of a community before? Like yes, he's has his family, but a community?

'Does it matter? We're not giving her up.' This man. I love this man. If Tech did not already reign Supreme in my heart, I think Crosshair would be my favorite character in Star Wars.

ASAJJ VENTRESS MY QUEEEEEEEEEN

Oh Omega, that story fell apart faster than Hunter's resistance to adopting you.

They leave a space for Tech 💔

Apparently those blood tester things that Qui Gon had were Jedi issue only.

YOU CAN DO IT OMEGA!!! Wrecker, honey, if Omega CAN do it, that means her life gets WAY harder.

They one hundred percent sent Crosshair to look at Tech's data because Hunter and Wrecker can barely do it.

'Go get a flower kid, I gotta beat up your dads'

Okay, I honestly think Hunter doesn't have the time for romance and could honestly see him as asexual, but-

HIS WAIST IS SO SLUTTY. HOW IS IT SO SLUTTY.

I don't think we've seen such well choreographed hand to hand fighting in animated Star Wars. Except maybe that time that Rex absolutely destroyed those Zygerrians. But I might be biased about that.

'SHE'S A WAR CRIMINAL OMEGA' Okay now I need to know what defines war crimes in this universe. Did they have space Geneva?

You know, good thing Echo's not here. He'd probably be WAY more pissed than these three.

'You're naive' says the man who was changed by the child saying people can change.

I love Crosshair's 'oh shoot she's right' face.

Wrecker's little gasp when Ventress looks at them is AMAZING.

I love it when Star Wars is using the Force to connect with animals.

I'm sorry, Hunter girlies, I guess we getting wet hair everyone except Hunter. (Though Ventress looks SO GOOD)

VENTRESS YOU QUEEN I LOVE YOU YOU'VE COME SO FAR (I haven't read dark disciple but my sister has, and she informed me that Vos' Dark Side training by Ventress culminated in him summoning a water monster and killing it. This is such a beautiful parallel that she calms it.)

Crosshair helping Omega on is my everything.

I really love that Crosshair has decided to give Ventress a chance, because he was given a chance. (And also I lowkey ship them in a one night stand kinda way. Crossajj is such a good ship name too)

DAD DUO.

I don't think Ventress is lying when she says Omega isn't Force sensitive. Omega doesn't show ANYTHING in this episode that implies that she's sensitive. Yes, she uses Batcher, but she'd trained Batcher with normal friend methods. I think that Ventress stops the testing prematurely before she can be more sure, because she sees the possibly unhealthy attachment the Batch have. It might also be to protect Omega to not know for sure. My personal theory is that Omega is slightly more sensitive than the average clone, but not to any natural talent degree.

Oh gosh, I'm so scared for the next few episodes. Ventress gives them such a clear warning. This episode did such a good job of getting the tension tight again.

I know some people call this episode redundant, but the characters NEED this in order to catch up. We as an audience knew that M Counts meant midichlorians. But the Batch had no idea. Sometimes, we need to let the main characters catch up with us.

(This is also why Tech as CX-2 works on a reveal level because the mystery isn't for us, it's for the characters)

But yeah, a great episode! I'm terrified for everything and everyone!

A quick note- I've seen people say that it's too late in the season for Tech to return. I'd like to remind you that it took exactly two episodes in season 2 to get us behind Crosshair's redemption. They can do a lot in a few episodes.

#the bad batch #tbb #tbb season 3 #the bad batch season 3 spoilers #the bad batch season 3 #tbb season 3 spoilers #tbb spoilers #tbb omega #tbb s3 spoilers #tbb crosshair #tbb wrecker #tbb hunter #asajj ventress #tbb tech #tbb echo #tbb batcher #tech lives #take a deep breath #things are going to go downhill from here

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dr-futbol-blog · 9 months ago

Text

Runner, Pt. 7

As he is staring down the barrel of Ronon's gun, Sheppard seems to get an acute case of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" and hence offers to help the stranger in exchange for their freedom. His reasoning is probably that having this guy out there fighting the wraith can only help them out in the long run. And also, he needs to get to Ford and to make sure McKay is safe, so he might as well try anything.

I will draw your attention to the fact that he has not placed his body between Teyla and the gun, even though he's seen Teyla taken down twice by it already. Granted, we don't know what Sheppard would do if Ronon had threatened Teyla's life to get him to play ball with him but while he seems very keen to disarm Ronon here, swaying on his feet as he's trying to think of what to do next, his instinct is not to protect Teyla with his own body. Not like we have seen him do for McKay many times in the past, nary with a conscious decision. As Ronon turns the gun on Teyla, Sheppard full on stops himself from getting in front of the gun. He is trying to keep the man's attention on himself, he is trying to talk them out of this, but it's very clear that between the barrel of the gun and Teyla is not a place he wants to be. He makes an active choice not to do that.

Ronon seems skeptical of Sheppard's offer, and given what his life must have been like for the past seven years, he probably has no reason to trust anyone easy. Sheppard sighs, and turns away from him as Ronon seems to turn down his offer, and this very much looks to be a manipulation tactic. As mentioned before, Sheppard appears to have had some training in psychological warfare, he is very practiced in manipulating hostiles in many different ways, and here he very much looks to be doing that. While Ronon is clearly a formidable warrior whose instincts have served him well for him to have survived for so long, he is still quite young and unequipped to deal with the kind of skills Sheppard has for incapacitating an enemy. Sheppard has been working him the whole time they have been his captives, and he's just trying another angle here:

Sheppard: You know, there's a chance we could help you. Dex: How? Sheppard: We know a pretty good doctor. Maybe he could take that tracking device out of you. Dex: You think I haven't tried? Sheppard: Suit yourself.

Sure, it could be that Sheppard is merely weary, that he's actually feeling so morose that he just doesn't care anymore. Doesn't care what happens to this man, to Teyla, or to himself. It's possible. But there definitely seems to be a performative quality to his sigh. The way he looks away, presses his head down and looks deflated. Sheppard is not going to turn his eyes away from a gun pointed at him unless he had a good reason for it. He is making a performative display of emotion to provoke a complementary emotion in the target, which is a very effective manipulation technique especially when one is in a weaker power position, as he is here. He's not angry, he's disappointed. And it seems to work, too.

Although not trusting him yet by any means, Ronon is immediately intrigued:

Dex: And why would you do that? Sheppard: Because I'm a nice guy. Look, I told you. You hate the wraith, we hate the wraith. It's something we all have in common. We just want our friend back. Dex: You get this tracking device out of me, I'll get your friend back for you. Sheppard: OK, good. It's a deal.

Another reference to friends is made. But what's really concerning is Sheppard's quip about being a nice guy. He says this dripping with sarcasm. He clearly does not believe it about himself for one moment. He even shakes his head no as he says it, which just confirms that he does not believe what he says (it's a common tell when people are lying that their heads either nod or shake to the opposite effect of their words). He says "I'm a nice guy" like he's basically saying "fuck you, that's why".

His actual reasons are to get free, get Ford, and let this guy loose on the wraith. He knows that he's not a nice guy. If he was a nice guy, Ford never would have run out on him. If he was a nice guy, McKay would want to be with him. If he was a nice guy, he could actually be McKay's friend and not be such a dick toward him just because his own heart is aching. He's trying so hard to do the right thing and it always seems to come out wrong. So maybe he can do something for this guy. Maybe he can do something right by someone, for a change.

Leaving Teyla behind, Sheppard takes off at a run to the jumper. And note that yet again, he does not offer to stay himself and let Teyla go back to the jumper to relay the message to Atlantis. He full on leaves a defenseless woman alone in the woods with a man he knows very little about, and what little he knows tells him he's a very dangerous man. And yes, he sees Teyla as a warrior first. But it's obvious here that he has trouble seeing her as a woman at all.

And while Ronon probably hasn't had sex for a very long time, he never seems interested in Teyla that way. This, however, doesn't change the fact that this could have been a very bad idea, a very bad call from Sheppard. It's the ever-enduring spark of humanity in Ronan that saved the day (in more ways than one) here, not the exceptional military strategy employed by Sheppard. Like, he doesn't even offer to stay in her stead. It doesn't even occur to him that he could do that. He has very literally been willing to give up his own life several times to keep McKay safe but seems to display none of that instinct here. But let's say it's because he has such respect for Teyla as a warrior and because McKay is such an asset for them.

Once Sheppard is back at the jumper, he discovers that Lorne has lost McKay in the woods. His reaction is interesting. But first note that his first question, the first thing that interests him as he makes it back, is about McKay. He says "Where's Lorne?" to one of Lorne's men because that's who they know, that's who they are in contact with, it's Lorne that is the context for these men. But his interest in Lorne's whereabouts is about McKay, because he had entrusted McKay to him and the last information he has, McKay was with Lorne. He probably expected to find McKay in the same place he would find Lorne.

That's his first priority, finding McKay. And you can tell that this is the case by the fact that as he actually sees Lorne, Sheppard is barely paying attention to him. His "What happened to you?" sounds distracted, not like he has actual concern for Lorne's well-being. And as he passes Lorne, he turns to look at the soldier that was seated next to him, making mental note of the fact that it is not McKay. But before he has time to ask about the thing that he actually cares about, Lorne volunteers the information.

If we saw McKay basically not react to them losing contact with Sheppard earlier, Sheppard now responds to Lorne's report about having lost McKay with only an offhand "Great!" Only, it's not a case of dissociation with him, it's just the amount of feeling that he's willing to show to his men. Sheppard has the exact same response to the arrival of wraith darts through the gate later on. That's the same amount of fucked he thinks he is having apparently lost McKay. But the thing is, we don't actually get to see the full extent of his reaction to this. He runs into the jumper and immediately starts dialing the gate to contact Atlantis, and we then cut away.

However, it seems as though Sheppard's level of urgency rises between him asking Lorne what was the matter with him and Lorne mentioning McKay being missing. He's punching up the gate symbols like there was a fire under him, all of a sudden. Sure, he came to the jumper at a run but given that he had left Teyla alone with this stranger, it doesn't seem like his original plan to get Beckett to come to the planet to help them with the guy's tracker was that time sensitive. Sure, they need to get a move on but there's no desperation. Now, McKay having gone missing? That is time sensitive. Every second he doesn't know where that man is is a second too many.

So, how come we don't see Sheppard react to McKay having gone missing? We don't get to hear Sheppard's call to Atlantis and the next time we see him, he's busy bringing Beckett back to Ronan's cave. So, he doesn't care that much, right? Only, Weir mentions McKay to Beckett as he's preparing to leave for his house-call on the alien planet meaning that Sheppard obviously had told her about it and very likely had extracted all the details about it from Lorne during the call, as it seems like Weir knows precisely what had happened. So, it tells us Sheppard was at least interested. But the thing is, later Ford takes out a pair of marines searching the forest for something which means that before Sheppard had left the jumper with Beckett, he had ordered the others to look for McKay.

The reason he did not go himself was because as (presumably, given how he managed to clip Acastus Kolya while he was holding Weir as hostage) the best sharp shooter of the lot, it was up to him to keep the expedition's chief medical officer and McKay's best friend alive through the ordeal. He personally had to go back to the cave. But everyone else that was not guarding the gate was on McKay duty. It's never explicitly mentioned and yet it's very obvious that's what is going on with the marines in the woods. They're even cautious as McKay jumps up from the bushes, clearly expecting some terrible thing to be at his heels.

But despite the fact that a whole lot of people seem to be worried about McKay, he's handling himself pretty well given how unhinged Ford seems to be. Their interaction also gives us insight into just how McKay is doing in his life, all things considered. For one, he seems to be in much better physical condition than Lorne had believed:

Ford: Why are you stopping? McKay: Because I am tired, and you have no idea where you're going. Ford: How do you know? McKay: We've been walking around in circles for hours!

Not only have they been wading through difficult terrain for hours, McKay has been doing all of it in the rubber suit, with nothing to drink the whole time. Anyone would be exhausted from this. He's also hypoglycemic and hasn't had anything to eat in hours, either. McKay seems to have a lot of stamina. But it looks like that's not even the reason why he stopped here. He clearly loses his footing and, embarrassed by this, attempts to cover for it by taking a pose. It's actually pretty similar to Sheppard's first trek through the woods with Teyla in Rising (S0102), where Sheppard loses his footing and tries to be real smooth about his landing. McKay tells Ford he's tired to cover up for losing his balance not because that was the reason.

And speaking of things these two do in a similar way, as couples often adopt mannerisms from the other, McKay rotates his hand quickly as the mentions the word "circle" here, a visual representation of the shape. Sheppard did the same thing using his head (as his hands were tied) when he mentioned "circle" to Ronon earlier.

Furthermore, this may be another case of distorted perception of time for McKay. He tells Ford he feels like they've been walking around for hours, but given that they are now expecting the wraith to arrive on the planet any minute and Sheppard does seem to be trying to speed things along, this is likely an exaggeration. And again time feels longer to him, it seems to him like his suffering is prolonged, a common sign of dissociation.

Now, while Ford seems to be projecting hardcore as he unloads on McKay here, no longer having his CO as a reason to keep his thoughts regarding McKay to himself, he does seem to manage to strike a few nerves with McKay. McKay's voice breaks as he responds to Ford's tirade because his accusation is true, as far as McKay is concerned. For a man that hasn't had that many friends in his life, he sure has let them down a lot lately:

Ford: So that's it -- you just give up, is that it? That's what you do, isn't it -- you give up on your friends when they need you most! McKay: No-one's given up on you, Ford! We wanna help you! Ford: I'm talking about Major Sheppard and Teyla. McKay: Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard.

Furthermore, McKay's bitterness for Sheppard's promotion seems to come out full force here. Ford interprets McKay's words as him making fun of him for having forgotten Sheppard's new title where that probably wasn't even close to what McKay intended with his tone.

McKay seems to spit out the title with thinly veiled disdain either toward Sheppard being promoted or toward the US military in general. He himself had trouble remembering the new title a whole month later (perhaps indicative of some mental resistance toward the information on his part), so Ford not being able to remember it here is not surprising in the least, nor is it a target for mockery for McKay. But what we can see here clearly is that McKay has a problem with Sheppard's promotion, and this problem is definitely not that he doesn't think Sheppard deserved it. His attitude must have some other motivation. Like the fact that he thinks the promotion is one of the obstacles now permanently between the two of them, stopping them from getting to each other.

But because Ford is expecting McKay to make fun of him, he takes offense at this. He's expecting McKay to make fun of him because his interpretation of their past team dynamic is that McKay and Sheppard made fun of him ("Oh, so it's OK when you guys do it"), they hazed the young soldier. And again, he continues projecting:

Ford: Alright -- Lieutenant Colonel. So Ford's lost it, Ford's all crazy, Ford can't even remember a simple little thing. McKay: Hey, I never said that! Although the fact that you keep referring to yourself in the third person does indicate clinical dissociation.

But the ugly truth of the matter is that Ford was barely on McKay's radar, for him he was a blunt instrument. He regarded Ford in a way that he hates to be treated himself. And here, Ford is holding up a mirror to his face, forcing him to take a look at himself. If McKay wasn't dissociating so hard, all of this might actually hurt. But although Ford seems to be lashing out due to his own issues, he's digging up dirt from his own subconscious to fling at McKay, he does manage to say things that, while not necessarily factually true, McKay believes to be true about himself at the end of the day. What Ford says to him just reinforces what McKay already thinks about himself, and it's notable that he has no arguments against it.

Ford: You don't even know what a friend is, do you, McKay? All you care about is yourself. McKay: Will you relax?! Ford: You relax! You're pathetic. You were always making fun of me. You wanna play a game? Pick on Ford. I could shoot you and leave you here to die. McKay: Shoot me? When did this escalate to physical violence?

McKay is selfish, he's aware of that. He needed time to sort through his feelings. He needed Sheppard t be honest with him. He needed Sheppard to let him in. He needed Sheppard to trust him. He needed Sheppard to consider him. He needed Sheppard to be there for him. He needed Sheppard to want him, to love him, to choose him. He needed, he needed, he needed. And he had never really even stopped to consider what Sheppard might need. He really was a bad friend, and a worse lover. He did only care about himself. No one had ever accused him of caring too much about other people. Most people were abstractions to him and the few people he did consider his friends, he treated poorly. But Ford didn't have to throw all of that to his face like that.

The thing to note here is that McKay seems not at all intimidated by Ford. And this seems to have nothing to do with him believing Ford is still the same old Ford who would not hurt him, or that he just doesn't realize how the wraith enzyme must be affecting his mind (he did see Ford almost choke the life out of his best friend right in front of him, after all; he knows Ford is far from alright), or that he's displaying any special brand of bravery here. It's much more concerning than that. Like Sheppard earlier, McKay seems not to care what happens to him. McKay is being held together by such a thin thread that he seems to be very close to his breaking point, and all of the things he's been keeping inside for the past months suddenly come tumbling out of him:

McKay: Alright, you wanna shoot me, shoot me! Fine! I don't care. It'll just save me suffering one of the many horribly painful deaths I have in line from having been exposed to this much radiation! And, quite frankly, it'll prove just how far gone you are!

He goes off on Ford. And his diatribe has nothing whatsoever to do with Ford, he simply can't take any more suffering, he has reached his limit. While he adds the words "from having been exposed to this much radiation" as though he was talking about just now, was talking about just the day he's had, it's much more than that. We know from The Siege (S02E01) that he has been thinking about death, all the terrible ways to die, for a while now ("Slow death, quick death, painful death, cold, lonely death..."). McKay is in so much anguish over what transpired in the past few months that some part of him thinks it would be a relief if someone ended him, ended his suffering.

McKay keeps this mostly under wraps, losing himself in his work. Mostly he seems functional, his old normal self, focused on doing things. But this is what he's hiding inside the whole time. This is what he tries to protect Sheppard from by not letting the man close to him. This has been eating him up inside ever since he watched Peter Grodin give up his life for nothing, ever since he watched that dot that was Sheppard's jumper move inevitably toward the hive on the screen in the control platform. He loves Sheppard too much to let him to be hurt by this venom.

But still, in his heart of hearts, McKay does not want to die. It's not over for him, either.

Having no more words to say, Ford shoots up the woods around McKay, and this makes him suddenly snap out of the dark place he was at. McKay even empathizes with Ford as he stops to really listen what the man is telling him. He can relate to feeling all alone. He can relate to someone not trusting him. Even though he does not think so himself, McKay does care about people. He doesn't always understand them, they frequently get in his way and irritate him because he's quicker than most, but he cares a lot. He cares so much that he has been ready to give up his own life on several occasions so that others might have the fighting chance to live. And he cares about Ford enough to want to bring him back home:

Ford: I'm sorry. Look, you don't know what it's like, almost dying like I did, having your friends turn on you, no-one trusts you. I'm out here all alone. McKay: You don't have to be alone, Ford. Look, this drug is messing with your head. Come back to the jumper with me -- we'll go back to Atlantis, and Doctor Beckett may even be able to figure out a way for you to keep all your new super-powers, huh? Ford: You think? McKay: Sure, why not?

Again his voice breaks when he tells Ford that he doesn't have to be alone. He wishes so much that someone would say these words to him. That he didn't have to be alone. The loneliness he felt now, all the time, was unbearable because for a moment, he hadn't been alone. He hadn't been lonely. He had loved someone and he had been loved. Who ever said that it was better to have loved and lost than never having loved at all had certainly not been marooned in another galaxy having to watch the love of their life without being able to get to them. That was being alone.

For a moment it seems like McKay, with his genuine plea at Ford, is able to reach him but then the madness overtakes him again. Ford seems to be obsessing over finding Sheppard, and McKay can relate to that too. As Ford takes off, he actually lets McKay go free here. McKay has the chance to just walk away, go back to the jumper, go back to see if Lorne is alright. Get some help, find out what's going on.

Ford: First we've gotta save Colonel Sheppard and Teyla. McKay: No, no, wait. Ford: No! That'll prove that I'm OK. You go back to the jumper, I'll meet you there.

But of course, this is not an option for McKay. If there's even a slim chance that Ford is right, that Sheppard is in trouble and Ford knows how to find him, he has to go with him. Come hell or high water, Sheppard is the most important thing in his life, and that's just the main text of it all.

Continued in Pt. 8

#sga #stargate atlantis #sga meta #john sheppard #sheppard is bi #rodney mckay #rodney is gay #ep. runner

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