#I mean I think he definitely has a crush on Kyle in a weird gross way but Kyle hates his guts and wants him dead | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

queerbutstillhere-writes · 5 years ago

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Mutual Pining

"I'm going to literally put my head through a wall."

"Pftt, why?"

Cissie shot a glare at Cassie, then turned, pointing at Bart.

"So? He's just . . . What is he doing?"

Bart was sitting on the beanbags in the corner of Cassie's room, just . . . Staring into space. He never sat still. Ever. Not for this long, anyway.

"He's been like this for weeks, Cassie."

"Why?" Cassie asked her girlfriend, shifting to look at her phone better.

"Take a wild guess."

Cassie sighed and set down the device, looking up at her fellow blonde, thinking. What could have Bart Allen literally moping.

Oh.

"Is it because of Tim?"

Cassie had overheard Bart talking to Cissie once about his crush on Tim. It sounded like he was in pretty deep, but no one knew Tim's sexuality.

"Close."

"Close? How can I be wrong, is there anything else that boy thinks of?"

"Yep. Well. Two things. Food, and . . ."

"And what?" Cassie asked, narrowing her eyes.

Cissie seemed less annoyed and more just amused now. Amused at holding this over Cassie, watching her struggle for the truth.

"What is the one thing, everyone on this team, has all been head over heels for?"

Cassie blinked at Cissie. Then she slowly turned to look at Bart. Then back at Cissie.

"OH MY GOD, KON?!?!"

Tim tapped angrily at the edge of the desk, scowling at his computer screen, then looking down at the case file.

"What's got your bat-panties in a twist?"

Tim didn't bother to respond. Nor did he bother to look up at Dick as the older vigilante walked over and ruffled his hair.

"Hey. You're tapping, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just tap."

This was true. He would bounce his leg or drum on surfaces or two against his collarbone. He just did that. It wasn't even something he thought about or noticed anymore.

"Okay. That's fair. But why are you glaring at the computer screen like it personally wronged you."

"It has. This case isn't panning out like I thought."

Dick was silent for a bit.

"Kon called earlier."

"Oh?"

Dick nodded, still reading the monitor. "He sounded worried. Said something about you missing a meeting?"

"They had training drills today. I couldn't make it."

A few beats of silence.

"Why not? You weren't doing anything. It's summer break."

"I was working on this case."

"So you skipped training with some of your only friends because of a case?"

Tim scowled deeper. Why was Dick questioning him? Why couldn't Dick just mind his own business? Tim didn't want to discuss it anyway. Besides, it's not like he was avoiding his friends or anything. No, nothing like that.

"It's an important case."

Dick snorted. "No offense Tim, but I don't really think the theft of those two paintings are really all that important. Besides, you know Bruce was just going to ask Selina."

Tim neglected to answer, leaning forwards and hitting a few buttons to run a program search.

"Why are you avoiding them."

To his credit, Tim didn't react, just watched code run across the screen as his program worked. Then he slowly looked over at Dick. His question had not been worded as a question. It had very much been worded as a statement. You're avoiding your friends and I want to know why.

"I'm not."

"You are. Normally when I would mention Kon, you'd at least grin or something, but just now you sat there and scowled like Bruce. Oh god are you becoming Bruce? Oh no, we need to get you help, quick-"

Dick grabbed Tim by the armpits and started pulling.

"Quit!" Tim said, but did laugh a bit, smacking at Dick with one hand as he grabbed onto the desk with the other, holding himself in place.

"Come on, Timmy, what's wrong?"

Dick asked, going serious once more as he sat on the desk, facing Tim.

Alright. Time to take a calculated risk. Talk to Dick, your kind of older brother who definitely has more relationship practice, and also practice with this certain issue, or continue to be harassed by him.

Then again, telling him could lead to more harassment.

Does Dick know he's gay?

Never mind, just don't mention genders and he'll probably assume you mean the girls.

"Okay. Okay fine. Don't tell anyone about this."

"My lips are sealed," Dick promised, smiling and pulling a leg up, knee against his chest.

"I thought I had a crush on one of my friends."

"Okay."

"Except now I think I have a crush on two of them."

Dick was silent for a moment, head tilted at him, considering this.

"Kon and Bart?"

Tim scowled, crossing his arms, facing Dick fully.

"Why did you immediately assume them?"

"I'm a detective the same as you are, Tim. I have eyes. I see the way you look at them, the way you act, posturing and showing off. I know how to recognize teen boys with crushes."

"Except when you're the teen boy with a crush."

Dick snorted, shaking his head. "Yeah, unless it's me. So am I right."

Tim hesitated, then nodded.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know! I really like them both, but Kon's so straight and Bart . . . Bart just doesn't talk about relationship and things so I have no clue what he thinks."

Dick nodded distantly, and Tim really hoped he was thinking of ways to help and not ways to mock.

"Have you, and this just an idea. Have you considered asking them?"

"Why would I do that?"

"To find out?"

"Dick they don't even know I'm not straight!" Tim exclaimed, feeling more annoyed than anything.

"So tell them." Dick shrugged.

"That's not how this works."

"Tim. They're your friends. I highly doubt either of them have a problem with it. . . Now the crush thing, that may be an issue.

Tim groaned and dropped his head to the desk, banging it a few times.

So what if he had a crush on his two best friends. It didn't matter. He wouldn't say anything. It's not like he wanted to hold their hands and kiss them and cuddle and- no, it's not like he absolutely craved any of that.

Besides, even if he did come out to them, he'd have to pick between them, and he didn't think he could.

He'd have to pick, right?

"Why are you moping, kid?"

Kon glanced up at Kyle, scowling.

"I'm not moping."

"Oh you soo are."

Kyle easily picked up a huge piece of cement debris with his ring and spun, putting it on the big green truck full of other debris.

"I'm not!"

Kyle snorted, floating down to be level with Kon, who had done a third of the work Kyle had done so far.

"Sure. No moping, got it. So what is the cause of your Not-Moping?"

"None of your business," Kon muttered, picking up a piece of cement tangled with steel and turned, placing it on Kyle's construct truck.

"Okay okay. Do you want me to go get Supes then because-"

"No! Don't you dare!"

Kyle cracked a grin, creating two chairs with his constructs.

"Sit down and tell doc Kyle."

"I hate you."

But Conner sat down in the chaise like construct, glaring at the Green Lantern.

"I'm having relationship issues."

"Oh god that's a fucking mood. What's happening."

"There's this guy I really like. . . "

"Oh."

"Except, it's not just one guy."

"Oof."

"Yeah. And I don't think either of them know I'm not straight and that I like boys too, and I don't . . . Liking both of them is a problem."

"Ah, a classic love triangle. Alright, you want help cracking this?"

Kon took a deep breath, ready to yell at Kyle and tell him to piss off.

"So step one, you gotta come out to them. If one is like "ew, gross" then they're off the table," Kyle started, not even waiting for permission. "Two, see who you fit better with, personality wise, who do you get along with more. Three, make a decision. Probably regret it later."

". . . Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Kyle."

"See, I do know things! Like I know that you're way behind on clean up so you better get your ass in there!"

Kon scoffed as Kyle shoved him forwards, toward the debris, but he just returned to picking up, thinking as he worked.

Kyle was right. He should come out first. He'd been meaning to for a while, anyway. He'd only dated girls so far, but he still very much liked boys. Especially, as he had recently realized, Tim and Bart.

He was so screwed.

Why did he have to fall for both of them?

Bart was going to vibrate out of his skin.

The problem literally wasn't with him this time.

For once.

See, where he had come from, relationships were just whatever you made of them. Sexuality was more fluid and open, gender was just weird, standard relationships weren't necessarily between two people, sometimes there was as many as five people in one relationship. Sometimes there were even more. But. That's not how things worked here.

But he was going to vibrate out of his skin because he wanted to date his best friends and that's not how things worked here.

He just wanted cuddle piles and kissing and holding hands with both of them. Because he was in love with both of them.

And right now he was stuck, watching them flirt, and realizing that if anyone was going to get to date them, it would be each other and he wouldn't be involved. He'd be lonely.

Cue "All By Myself" by Celine Dion.

It was obvious Kon and Tim liked each other. They did all the typical flirty things, showing off, trying to one up each other, so on and so forth. They grinned at each other and touched each other and stared fondly at each other from across the room. Bart saw it all. And he knew he would never be the receiving end of all those looks and little things.

Only he was. And for all his speed, he never saw it.

He never saw how Tim fondly smiled and shook his head when Bart zipped off to do something silly. He never saw how Kon would just space off staring at him, a stupid grin plastered on his face. He never noticed the fond comments and nudges and smiles. He never really paid attention to how Kon often threw an arm around his shoulders as he traded him. And he never really noticed how Tim was always checking on him first after the team got hit hard. He didn't notice these things.

And boy, he would have gone into this conversation a lot different if he had.

They were all three just hanging out, laying around in the lounge area of their headquarters, Bart was laying half off the sofa, playing a video game on his DS. He wasn't really paying attention to what the others were doing because he was focused for once. Then Kon spoke.

"Hey, can uh. . . Can you two listen for a moment."

"Yup," Bart responded instantly, even as he moved so his feet were on top of the sofa and his head was dangling off.

"No like. Really listen, Bart."

So Bart sighed and paused the game, setting it down and looking back at Kon. Once he had Tim's attention, he spoke again.

"I'm . . . Uh, I'm bi."

Tim blinked at him, Bart scowled.

"What's that," he asked, and then gave a little wave. "Bye?"

Kon snorted and shook his head. "No, imp, bi. Bisexual. I like boys and girls."

"Oh. . . Huh. Neat."

Kon seemed nervous. Why was he nervous? Did he think they would accept him? That would be dumb if him, Bart was pretty sure he had mentioned how things worked in the future. So maybe he was worried about Tim? But why would he worry about Tim? Tim was their best friend. Why would Tim judge?

Kon was, in fact, looking at Tim now.

"Okay. Thank you for trusting us," Tim said with a smile.

A forced smile. His face was carefully controlled, even Bart could see that. Kon could definitely see it.

"Sorry if this uh, makes anything weird?"

Tim just shook his head. "No, you don't need to apologize, Kon. We want you to feel comfortable with us."

Kon nodded once, but stayed quiet. Bart glanced between them, as they were staring at each other, then sighed sadly, picking up his DS again.

Loneellyyyyy, I'm so lonnnellyyyy.

Ohmigodohmigodohmigodohmiodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigod

Tim's brain had been screaming that for hours now, ever since Kon had come out.

So sue him for going to Blüdhaven instead of Gotham.

He banged on the window that he knew Dick climbed in and out of, waiting until the other vigilante slid it open.

"You know I have a front door, right?" Dick asked, leaning on the window sill.

"I know but I need to talk, are you free?"

"Not particularly."

Dick pointed behind him and Tim looked past to see a couple of the Titans inside, eating pizza that he could just now smell. His mouth started watering.

"Let him in, Dickiebird! We'll stay quiet!"

Dick squinted at Tim, but he knew it was directed to Roy.

"Yeah, fine, you can come in if you still want to talk with them here."

Tim found himself sat on the only free armchair, pizza in hand. He looked at the Titans, and then shrugged, taking a breath.

"You know that guy I was telling you about," Tim started warily, not wanting to out Kon to all of his brothers friends.

"The one you liked?"

"Yeah. The one with the dark hair."

Dick nodded. Thankfully he had picked up that Tim was trying to avoid names.

"He just told me that he's bi."

"Hey! That's great!" Dick exclaimed, grinning.

"Yeah. . ."

"You gonna tell him, or?"

Tim was silent for a bit, munching on his pizza.

"Should I? But what about the other . . ."

"Oh you're right," Dick scowled at the floor.

The Titans exchanged looks.

"What's going on?" Donna asked finally.

"Tim here has a crush on two separate guys, who are pretty close friends," Dick explained vaguely.

"Oh, classic. That sucks dude," Wally said, nodding and looking thoughtful.

It was Roy who shrugged and said the words that would be stuck on Tim's mind for the next month.

"Date them both."

Well step one had failed ultimately. Or well, rather, it went amazing.

But he was still stuck with having crushes on both Tim and Bart.

The problem is - as Tim had also previously complained about, unbeknownst to Kon - Tim is like, straight straight, and Bart just doesn't seem interested in relationships.

So he was so fucking screwed.

He was just laying in bed, moping and feeling sorry for himself, when there was a shout from downstairs.

"Kon! There's a girl on the phone for ya!"

Kon scowled at the ceiling. Phone? It was probably Cassie. But what could she want. With a sigh he pushed himself out of bed, grabbing a shirt and putting it on as he walked downstairs.

"Ma, where's the phone?" He asked as he got downstairs, stopping in the kitchen where Ma Kent was aggressively kneading dough.

She pointed at a wireless phone on the counter so he grabbed it, stepping out onto the back deck.

"Hello?"

"Hi. I'm tired of playing babysitter, come pick Bart up."

"Cissie?"

"Yep. Hi."

"Wait, babysitter? What's going on?"

Cissie paused, speaking to someone else on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah. Max left Bart in my charge for the day and I can't handle his moping anymore."

"Moping? Bart, moping?"

"It doesn't sound believable, but come get him and you'll see."

"Okay, let me to ask Ma."

40 minutes later, Kon was landing outside Cissie's house, knocking on the door out of courtesy before walking in. He first thing he noticed was one Bart Allen laying on the sofa, staring at the tv.

"Bart?"

"Kon!"

And just like that the ginger was hugging him tightly, eyes squeezed close as he squeezed around Kon's stomach. Kon just grunted lightly and hugged Bart back.

"Hey, imp. What's with you? Sis said you've been moping?"

"I-" Bart pulled away, scowling. "Not moping."

Kon snorted, but scooped Bart up, tossing him over his shoulder easily. Bart squealed in protest, grabbing Kon's belt loops.

"Where's Cissie anyway?"

"Dunno."

Kon carried him through the house, not even bothered by his weight. He weighed like maybe a 100 pounds anyway. They found Cissie in her bedroom, painting her nails and listening to music.

"What are you doing? Leaving a child unattended like this?"

Cissie looked up, eyebrow raising.

"What are you doing? Carrying a child like a sack of potatoes?"

"He's not a child."

"You just called him a child!"

Kon just grinned at Cissie and she rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, feel free to take him home."

"Really, you're just gonna do that?" Kon asked, feeling shocked that Cissie would just dump Bart, one of her best friends, on him like this.

"Yeah. It's you he wants to hang out with anyway."

"Cissie!" Bart complained, bracing his hands against Kon's back.

"Am I wrong?!"

"Shut up!"

Okay what was going on here?"

"Just have him back by like, I dunno, what time was Max coming to get you?"

"Nine."

"Okay. Have him back by eight thirty."

So Kon ended up leaving with Bart.

They raced back to Kansas, causing sonic booms and destroying a few fields along their way, but Bart was laughing and having fun, so that's all that really mattered.

When they got back to the farm, Ma Kent immediately had some chores for them to do, so they spent a few hours doing that and then stumbled inside, crashing on Kon's bed, side by side, still giggling from something Kon had said. Bart looked over at him, going quiet, smiling softly.

"What?" Kon asked, not knowing that he was also smiling back.

"Nothing. I just missed you."

"Oh."

Silence. Bart's eyes were really gold.

Why were they gold?

Who knows, but they're gorgeous. Kon really likes his eyes.

And then he was leaning in and lightly kissing Bart.

There was this slight pause, before their lips met, where he was leaning in. They were just inches apart, breath mixing, noses almost touching. Kon looked up at Barts beautiful golden eyes, as they both hesitated. It would have only been a mere second for anyone without speed based powers, but for them, the moment stretched out for a while. Kon was waiting, giving Bart the opportunity to pull away, to set down boundaries.

But then Bart's eyes slid shut and he tilted his face up towards Kon. This was permission if Kon had ever seen it, and he closed the small distance, lightly pressing their lips together.

It was soft and sweet and timid. Bart's lips were slightly chapped, probably from all the running in the wind - could he get Tim or Wally to make a super hydrating chapstick formula? - but Kon couldn't care less, because he was kissing Bart.

Kon pulled away first, pulling back far enough to look at Bart, who was steadily grinning more and more, slowly pulling his eyes open.

"You-"

Then he giggled, and kept giggling, rolling away and pressing his face into the sheets.

"What?" Kon asked, confused. But Bart kept giggling and Kon frowned. "What?!"

Kon rolled over so he was practically laying on top of Bart, tickling him, causing him to laugh harder, squealing and trying to get away from Kon. Obviously he didn't actually want to, or he would have been on the other side of the room by now.

By the time Bart finally stopped laughing, they were both in stitches, just grinning at each other as they gasped for air.

"Okay, what was so funny?" Kon asked finally, once he could breathe properly.

Bart took a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling.

"I thought you were in love with Tim."

Kon blinked at him. "Oh."

Bart didn't respond, but did look over. Kon was silent for a bit.

"Which is. . . Honestly totally fair, because-"

Bart was rambling, but Kon was starting to realize that maybe, maybe, Bart had been in love with him.

"Bart-"

"And like, he's really pretty and I totally understand-"

"Bart."

"Because like, I'm kinda in love with him too."

"I like you both."

They had both spoken at the same time. There was about two seconds and then Bart was sitting up quickly, looking down at Kon.

"Could you run that by me one more time?" He asked, eyes wide.

"Uh. I like you both?"

Bart blinked at him, then grinned, flapping his hands slightly in excitement. Well, slightly for Bart. They were going slightly blurry.

"Oh my god I thought I was insane."

"What?"

Bart dove at him, and Kon grunted as Bart landed on his chest, chin on his breastbone.

"I thought I was crazy for being in love with both of my best friends. Well. Actually it's not that crazy for me. The future is like, super chill about relationships and stuff. But like, nowadays people think things like that are weird and-"

"Bart, what are you talking about?"

Bart scowled, looking away as he thought.

"Urggh, what's the current word for it?"

He scrunched up his nose, and Kon felt this pang of just pure emotions.

"Oh! Polyamory!"

Kon blinked once, then twice, then a third time. And it was clear Bart realized he may have made a mistake.

"Kon-"

"Wait. Like. Dating both of you?"

"Yeah, it's a thing in the future, I know a lot of people aren't comfortable with it and-"

Bart slid off of Kon, standing and starting to pace slightly.

"I just, I really like both of you and I want both of you and-"

Bart kept talking, but Kon was just staring at the wall now, thinking about this. Why had he never thought about this. Dating both Tim and Bart? It might be a little strange at first. And as Bart said, a lot of people probably aren't comfortable with it.

Bart had apparently out-worried himself and collapsed on the bed next to Kon, their legs touching as Bart looked up at him.

"Kon?"

"Yeah?" He asked, looking down.

"Can I kiss you again?"

Bart's golden eyes were wide and pleading. Puppy dog eyes. Who had taught that boy puppy dog eyes. Kon just ducked his head and pressed his lips to Bart's lightly. Bart sighed softly, pressing up into him.

"Boys?! Didn't Bart have to be back by eight thirty!?"

......

Tim was probably going to cry.

Okay not actually but he was kinda sad now so that's fine.

Reason for his sadness? Bart and Kon had gotten together two days ago.

Yup, you read that right. His two best friends who he's being incredibly gay for pretty much since he met them are now dating.

It's fine.

He's fine.

He's not.

When he had found out it felt like a knife through his chest. His breath had been stolen and he had wanted to cry, but he had to smile and fake that he was happy for them. They grinned back and would cling on each other and kiss each other and it was painful.

It was so painful.

And he didn't see the frowns and side glances and every little hint that they were doing this for his attention, to see how he'd react.

He was just heartbroken.

It would have sucked if had just been one. It had sucked when Kon and Cassie dated, but not quite like this did. Because he hadn't been in love with Cassie and he hadn't been in love Kon back then. But no he was in love with both Kon and Bart and now they were together .

He kinda felt like crying.

He had gotten out of there as fast as possible, and sat on a gargoyle, staring off the roof and pretending he was patrolling.

He may have ended up avoiding Bart and Kon for the next few days, just because he can't. He couldn't be around them, and be with them and yet not with them.

It hurt so much because he thought that he and Kon had actually had something. He wasn't that dumb, he could tell when they were flirting. He knew that. He knew it happened a lot. And yet Kon had gotten with Bart.

He was jealous.

He was so jealous.

He hated how jealous he was.

He hated this so much.

"Why is he so difficult?"

"He's a brains over emotions, person, Bart. Patience."

"I'm not patient."

"I know," Kon said with a laugh, pulling Bart down into his lap.

Bart huffed, putting an arm around Kon's neck and pressing his forehead against Kon's head.

"What's wrong?"

They both looked up at Max as he walked in, raising an eyebrow at them.

"Tim."

Max raised an eyebrow, looking from his ward to Kon.

"Still trying to get him to date you two?"

"Yeah. He's avoiding us now."

"I think we should just go and talk to him," Bart grumbled.

"And I think we should give him space. He's clearly upset by us dating."

Max just nodded for a moment, sipping from the glass in his hand.

"Conner, I think I have to agree with Bart here. He's not going to realize what you want from him if you don't talk to him. Those Bats boys are like that."

The Max turned and walked out. Bart grinned at Kon smugly, and he just sighed

"Fine. Talk to him," he agreed. "Do you want to do it, since you did so good with me?"

"Yes! I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Wait, Bart-"

Bart kissed him and then disappeared in a shower of sparks. Kon sighed and shook his head, standing and picking up his backpack, calling a goodbye to Max as he walked out.

Tim nearly screamed when Bart appeared with a shower of sparks and a burst of wind, sending his papers flying.

"Oops!"

In another burst of light, the papers were gently replaced in their rightful spots. Tim sighed and looked up to Bart, who was now standing at his elbow, just in civilian wear.

"Bart?" He asked by way of a greeting, setting down his pencil.

"Hi! Watcha doing?"

"Homework."

"Oh. Boo. Homework is boring."

"Don't you have homework?"

"Technically yes, but Kon was over so I did it all super fast, don't tell Max though, and now I'm here because I want to talk to you!"

Tim raised an eyebrow, turning his desk chair to face Bart.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to ask you about something."

Bart hopped up on his desk, his little legs swinging. He was grinning, but he looked a little nervous, all the same.

"Okay. Shoot."

Bart hesitated.

Bart Allen hesitated.

This should have clued Tim in on what Bart was wanting to ask. It was apparently a very serious topic if Bart Allen hesitated to speak his mind.

"You know how Kon and I got together the other day?"

"I'm aware," Tim bit out, teeth clenched, trying to keep the scowl off his face. He wouldn't snap at Bart.

Bart bit his lip, looking down at the floor. He was hesitating again. And suddenly he looked a lot more nervous. Then he looked up, made eye contact with Tim, and then slid off the desk.

Before Tim could register what Bart was doing, the ginger had leaned down and was kissing him.

Tim shoved him off quickly, and was up, out of his chair and several steps back.

"What the hell?!"

"What?" Bart was staring at him with wide, worried eyes.

"Bart! You can't just do that! Not when you're dating Kon! What the hell?!"

Bart sighed, hanging his head and stepping back.

"I'm doing this wrong. Don't- just wait."

Tim scowled at him, putting his hands on his hips.

"What the hell is going on?"

Bart shoved a hand into his poofy hair, then turned to face Tim.

"We want you. We both want you. We want to be with each other, but we want to be with you, too."

Bart looked so sincere, and he looked scared. He was giving Tim this mixed look of fear, hope, love, and longing.

Tim went silent.

He hated to admit it, but his brain immediately went logical, examining all of the things Bart had just said to him, taking them apart word by word and making sure he fully understood what was happening. He looked at this with a very cynical thought process. And he ignored the part of his mind that was freaking out because of what Bart's proposal had meant.

"Tim?" Bart's voice asked, and now he mostly sounded scared. "If you don't- just let me know and I'll never mention it again."

Tim didn't respond.

They wanted to be with him. Clearly they had discussed this, and apparently quite a lot, if it had reached the point of actually bringing it up to Tim. Bart wanted to be with Tim, Kon wanted to be with Tim. Tim wanted to be with both of them. They could all date. Yes they'd have to hide it from the public, because people wouldn't approve of this type of relationship. But what did it matter. Tim already knew Dick would approve, and he suspected Bruce wouldn't have a problem with it. Maybe the Kent's would. But it's not like Kon cared what Clark said, Martha and Jonathan on the other hand. . .

Bart was still staring at him, wringing his hands, and Tim remembered that he needed to give some kind of reaction. Something. Anything before Bart started getting upset.

"Bart."

The ginger's head snapped up and Tim realized he was too late, Bart was already upset.

He walked over and grabbed Bart's hands, squeezing them, then moving his hands up to his face.

"Bart."

Bart blinked at him, his eyes weren't quite wet yet, but they were certainly close. Tim didn't know what to say. He wasn't good with emotions. So he leaned in and gently kissed Bart again. There was about a half a second of a pause and then Bart was eagerly pressing into him, hands grabbing onto Tim's arms, squeezing as they kissed. Squeezing as they backed up until Tim's shins hit his bed and they were toppling over, lips parted as their kiss deepened.

"Does this mean?" Bart breathed out, their breath mixing as he had just barely pulled away.

"I want it," Tim confirmed, and pulled Bart back in for another kiss.

Kissing Bart was exciting and new. It was like jolts of electricity running through him and yet soft and sweet and practically frustrating with how gentle it was. He wanted more and yet didn't want to lose this soft perfect kiss.

"Kon's gonna be so stoked," Bart mumbled, kissing Tim's jaw lightly.

"Tell him tomorrow," Tim told Bart, keeping his arms hooked over Bart's shoulders, keeping him down.

"Tomorrow."

Kon wasn't that surprised when Bart practically accosted him the moment he walked into the headquarters. He wasn't surprised when Bart leaned up and kissed him. He wasn't surprised when Bart pulled him away, into a side room they rarely used, that seemed a bit like an office.

He was surprised when Tim was sitting in front of a table, reading a book. And he was surprised when Bart zipped over to their fearless leader and bent down, kissing him gentle.

"Oh," Kon said, pieces falling into place. "Talk went well then?"

He shut the door behind him, and watched as Tim closed his book, standing.

"If you still want me," Tim said softly, glancing up and down over Kon.

"Of course, I do."

Kon walked over, grinning. He was happy. This was what he wanted. This was good. This was perfect. He put his hands on Tim's hips, tugging him in.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

Kon bent down and gently kissed him, and Tim was immediately pressing back into him.

"We're really gonna have to talk about sharing, aren't we?" Bart asked, and they both pulled away, laughing.

Yeah. This was going to be good. Kon could feel it. They would have their fights, and their bumps in the road. But it would be good. It would be worth it.

@core-disaster-week-2020

#timkonbart week #core disaster week #timkonbart #core disaster #tim drake #conner kent #bart allen #queerbutstillhere writes #queerbutstillhere

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spaceskam · 5 years ago

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anon prompt: 08. I wrote my crush a note except I started it with ‘dear you’ and my friend stuck it into the wrong locker and now you think I have a crush on you Malex please?

meet ugly prompt list

warning: mentions of homophobia

ao3

“Today’s the day.”

“And you’re sure about that?”

“Absolutely sure,” Alex said, smiling through his nerves as he pulled out a note. He’d meticulously been perfecting a love letter meant for Kaliko Dyer.

He was a gorgeous and incredibly kind guitar player and dancer and Alex had been crushing on him since he arrived at Roswell. They’d only spoken a few times, but he never was rude to Alex no matter how many times people warned him of his queerness. It seemed like a good sign that maybe he’d be interested in Alex right back.

However, Alex was way too scared to actually say that to his face, so instead he’d written a note and was going to get Liz to put it on his locker. That way he could watch creepily from the safety of the other side of the hallway.

“Can I read it?” Liz asked, trying to peak over at it. Alex felt his cheeks burn as he contemplated it. On one hand, that sounded super embarrassing. On the other, he was going to give it to someone he knew a lot less than less, so why not?

“Just once.”

She gave a happy little squeak and they unfolded it, looking at the note together.

‘Dear You,

This is hard to write, but I’m going to do it anyway. From the moment I saw you, I knew that I wanted to get to know you. You’re cute and sweet and when you play guitar, I really just realized I like you. I like you a lot. So I wanted to ask you to homecoming.

It’s okay if you don’t want to, I’ll understand, but I really had to ask.

So, what do you say?

-A.M.”

“You didn’t put your full name, what if he doesn’t know it’s you?” Liz asked. Alex pursed his lips in thought before pulling out his pen and adding 4th block choir after his initials.

“There, there’s no one else in choir with my initials,” Alex said, “Now go before I change my mind.”

Liz laughed and shook her head, “Alright, alright!”

Alex watched in a pool of anxiety as she looked around and taped it to the locker. As the end of lunch bell rang, she ran away from it so no one would see her as the halls started to fill. Now he just had to wait.

Deciding to risk being late to class, Alex pressed himself against the wall and peeked around the corner, waiting for Kaliko to walk over and see the note. Except he didn’t. Instead, a different boy, one with unruly curls, grease-stained jeans, and guitar skills walked up to it.

“Fuck,” Alex cursed, eyes widening and his heart pounding in fear. He knew of Michael Guerin, they were in choir together, but he’d never really spoke to him before. What if he got offended or angry?

Alex was frozen as he watched Michael Guerin pluck the folded paper off the locker with confused eyes. He looked around as if expecting to find who put it there in a sea of people before unfolding it. Alex held his breath as he watched him read it, waiting for him to laugh or get grossed out or something horrific. He should’ve doubled checked the locker.

Instead of getting angry, though, Michael Guerin’s face slowly turned as red as a fucking tomato. He had a small smile on his face and his shoulders were all slumped forward, every bit of his attention on the letter. He seemed to read it a few times with how long he stared at it before carefully folding it up and putting it in his back pocket.

Fuck.

Alex spent the entire day dreading choir which was something he never dreaded.

He’d been thinking all 3rd block about how he was going to tell Michael that, sorry, he didn’t mean it for him and he appreciated that he wasn’t angry. He was going to avoid having to put rejection on Michael’s shoulders.

He sat in his seat in the tenor section and kept his eyes on the door. When Michael did enter, he came in with a shy smile and heading straight for Alex. He took a deep breath and gave him a polite smile, preparing to fix his massive fuck up.

“Hey, I got your note,” Michael said, voice all soft and sweet.

“Right, about that, I’m sorry. I should’ve--”

“No, it’s okay,” Michael cut him off, grinning and pushing himself on his toes. Was he always that cute? Had Alex missed that before? “Yeah, I’ll go to homecoming with you. It’ll be fun.”

“Oh,” Alex said, blinking through his shock, “Y-you really want to?”

“Yeah,” he said, shrugging a shoulder as his face slowly but surely started to turn red again. He rocked up onto his toes again. “I’ve noticed you since I first saw you too.”

And Alex couldn’t find it in him to say it was given to the wrong person.

By the time Friday rolled around, Alex was feeling more than a little guilty.

He’d seen Isobel Evans excitedly helping Michael Guerin come up with something to wear, he’d received multiple selfies from the man himself in suits and at work, he’d sent a couple of his own, they’d both sent a couple more risque snaps... Point was, it was based on a lie and he felt like a dick.

“You like him now, don’t you? So don’t feel guilty,” Liz said simply, curling her hair in the mirror. Alex was sitting, waiting for 6 PM to roll around so Michael and Kyle would show up to the Crashdown to take them to the dance. He had to explain more than he wanted to for why he couldn’t be picked up at his own house.

“Still, I feel like such an asshole,” he groaned, “He’s so nice and I didn’t even notice him. Shouldn’t I tell him the truth? That it was an accident?”

“If he gets upset, you’ll be dateless,” Liz pointed out.

“Okay, but aren’t his feelings more important than me being dateless?”

As if his ears were ringing, Alex’s phone lit up with another snap from Michael. He bit down on his lip and opened. He was freshly out of the shower, hair already curling and tongue sticking out. He was shirtless and wet and Alex had to swallow hard to keep his mind on track. Seriously, how had he not noticed him before?

The caption he’d put was a simple ‘here’s before i get all dolled up so you know i put in effort for you :)’.

"Haven’t you guys been talking all week?”

“Yes,” Alex sighed.

“And don’t you enjoy him?”

“Yes.”

“And don’t you think he’s super hot?”

“God, yes, did I show you that picture he sent me when he was at work?” Alex groaned, falling back onto her bed. It was weird to think that one little fuck up had led to him talking to a guy he never gave the time of day before, but god he was thankful. He not only liked the attention, but he liked him. He now knew more about him than he did about Kaliko and that crush had faded into the distance.

“Then why ruin a good thing?”

“Because I feel guilty,” he whined, “He thinks I’ve liked him since I first met him years ago and he actually has liked me that long.”

“That’s cute, Alex,” Liz said. Alex simply groaned louder.

Six eventually rolled around (after two more selfies of Michael smiling all sweet in his suit) and it was time to act like he hadn’t accidentally asked out the wrong guy to homecoming. Alex went outside to meet him at his truck while Liz and Kyle had their picture perfect moment inside with her sister and her dad.

Michael smiled, his face turning red all over again. It seemed no matter how cocky he could seem in pictures and over text, he always got flustered in person.

“You look... incredible,” Michael breathed, looking him up and down slowly. Alex shifted under his gaze and tried to keep his smile in check. “I mean, you always look incredible, but damn. Like... damn.”

“You look good too,” Alex laughed, stepping up closer. They hadn’t kissed or anything. Hell, they’d barely even spoke in person since that day in choir. They would look at each other across the room and text all night and send snaps back and forth, but there wasn’t much time to be in person except for a few minutes at lunch. But they’d sent shirtless pictures and suggestive messages, so did that give him the clearance to go in for a kiss?

He didn’t just to be safe.

“Not as good as you, though,” Michael noted. Alex rolled his eyes again. “You ready to go, Cinderella? Your chariot awaits.”

Alex laughed, but slid into the front seat of the truck.

“You wanna dance?”

“With you?”

“Well, yeah, I’m your date,” Michael laughed, still holding out his hand. The two of them had been leaning against the wall for a majority of the night, watching other couples dance. Alex, as much as he wanted to say he didn’t mind what people thought, was a little scared that dancing with a guy might bring unwanted attention. “Hey, if anyone looks at us sideways, I’ll kick their ass.”

Alex huffed a laugh and somehow knew he wasn’t lying. Michael Guerin had gotten suspended for fighting before. While he didn’t know the exact cause, he could definitely make some educated guesses now.

So, reluctantly, he let Michael drag him onto the dance floor and put his hands on his hips. Alex draped his arms around his neck and looked around. A few people looked their ways and a few rolled their eyes. The people around them gave them a little more space than necessary and that didn’t go unnoticed either. Well, to him. Michael was oblivious.

A few feet away, Kaliko was dancing with his date--a girl--and gave Alex a neutral look. It wasn’t disgusted, but it wasn’t exactly glowing with support. Suddenly, Alex felt pretty happy his note had fallen in the wrong hands. Kaliko would’ve said no.

“How are you so comfortable?” Alex asked Michael honestly. Michael shrugged.

“People are gonna judge me no matter what I do. Why not be my most authentic self while I can?” Michael said. Alex couldn’t help but smile.

“I guess, but I didn’t know you were out,” he said, “Like, I didn’t even know you were into guys at all. No rumors or anything. You fly so under the radar.”

“I’m straight passing,” Michael laughed, pulling more laughter out of Alex, “Nah, but out means different things for different people. Who I like is no one’s business but my own and the people who I’m interested in.”

“So did your friends know?” Alex asked.

“I mean, yeah. Just, I never, like, came out. I didn’t feel the need. I just spoke my mind when I saw hot guys and they were like ‘oh, okay’,” Michael explained. Alex smiled broader and shook his head as they swayed.

“I envy you, Michael Guerin.”

“Why? I’m the one that gets to dance with you,” Michael said softly. Heat pooled in Alex’s cheeks and, before he could even stop himself, he pulled Michael in for a kiss. It was short and simple, but it was enough to express that he really did like him.

Still, someone cleared their throat and one of the chaperones were giving them a distinctly disapproving look, shaking his head. Kids were looking their way too and Alex considered melting into the floor. But Michael just laughed.

“You wanna go to my truck? There’s less judgy people in there,” he said, loud enough that the chaperone and students around them could hear. Alex licked his lips and nodded.

So they left and Alex felt like he was floating on air. This boy liked him. Really, really liked him.

“Okay, I know a place we can drive to if you want,” Michael said, giving him that charming smile, “Somewhere, like, empty. It’s only a few minutes away.”

“Go for it,” Alex agreed.

Just like he promised, they were in the desert, making out in the front seat of the truck within 10 minutes. Michael was kissing him like he’d never been kissed before (which wasn’t saying much, he’d only been kissed twice) and holding him close.

“You wanna, um,” Michael breathed after awhile, “Go further?”

Alex pulled away a little to look at him, weighing his options. He hadn’t ever really gone further, but, honestly, with a boy who looked like that who was as ballsy as he was, he couldn’t see where he would have any regrets.

“Yeah,” Alex agreed, “Yeah, if you want to.”

Michael grinned and nodded, going in for another kiss. He slowly laid Alex back on the seat, shifting them so Alex as laying comfortably with Michael between his thighs. He slowly started kissing down his jaw and his neck, hands roaming. Alex easily relaxed into the feeling, adoring the way it felt to be kissed and touched.

But then he opened his eyes and spotted the note peaking out from where it was held up by the sun visor. Then that guilt reared it’s ugly fucking head.

“Wait, stop,” Alex said. Michael shot up so quickly that he slammed his head against the roof of the truck. “Jesus, are you okay?!”

Michael’s face was contorted in pain as he rubbed the back of his head, but he still nodded. Alex sat up and reached up to rub the sore spot as well, frowning when Michael flinched at the pressure.

“Sorry,” he said. Michael shook his head.

“It’s cool, I’m okay,” he promised, getting situated again, “Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I just... I saw the note,” he said. Michael blinked a few times in confusion, his eyes traveling up to where the note was.

“Is it weird I have it right there?” Michael wondered, “No one’s ever, like, written a note to be before. I didn’t wanna lose it ‘cause, you know, it’s from you.”

Alex involuntarily groaned, laying his head back against the window and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. Michael was silent. So, so much guilt.

“The note wasn’t meant for you,” Alex admitted, sighing as he dropped his hands to look at him. Michael just looked confused. “Liz was supposed to put it on Kaliko’s locker, but she put it on yours and you got so excited that I couldn’t tell you no.”

Michael slowly sunk into the driver’s seat of the truck, all of his movements slow and lethargic as he processed what he was hearing. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was in a permanent frown.

“So... you don’t like me,” Michael said.

“No, I do,” Alex insisted, “I just... Hadn’t noticed you before this week. And, I swear, I like you way more than I ever expected. You’re cute and funny and sweet and--”

“I’m gonna take you home if that’s okay,” Michael said softly, “Or do you want me to bring you to the Crashdown?”

“The Crashdown,” Alex said softly, “But, look, I’m sorry. I should’ve just told you. It was super unfair of me to... to...”

“To let me think you liked me as much as I like you,” Michael finished. Alex, again, felt like he was drowning in guilt. “But that’s okay. You didn’t know me, you don’t owe me anything.”

“Yeah, but I feel so bad,” Alex said as he started up the truck, “And I like you now. Like really like you.” Michael just shrugged.

“It’s okay, don’t feel bad,” he said, “You don’t owe me anything. It’s only been a week.”

The rest of the ride was quiet and Michael made sure to give him back the note before he left.

Dear Michael,

I’m an asshole. I should’ve been honest with you. What a great way to start a relationship, huh?

Honestly, I didn’t expect it to start a relationship. I expected to barely talk to you and then have an awkward time at the dance and then go back to never speaking to you. I thought it was going to just be that.

I didn’t expect to talk to you every waking moment all week. I didn’t expect to get to know you and how nice and smart you are. I didn’t expect to learn about you and your dad and how you guys work on cars together. I didn’t expect to get obsessed with how cute you are or your pretty smile or the way you turn all red. I didn’t expect to make you laugh or for you to make me laugh. I didn’t expect to talk about my shitty dad. I never tell anyone about him. I know you don’t think so, but you are special to me. I’m sorry I didn’t notice you first. I’m sorry that first note wasn’t to you.

But this note is. And I’ll write you more as I get to know you more and have more to say.

Forgive me?

-A.M. 4th block choir

Alex waited in choir that Monday morning, tapping his foot against the floor as he waited for Michael to show up. When he did, Michael again came straight towards Alex again. He sat right beside him, facing forward as if that was his seat.

“You’re not a tenor,” Alex said dully.

Michael sighed and looked over at him.

“It was only a week,” he said, “You could’ve lied longer. Or we could’ve hooked up or started dating or something actually legit before you told me, but it was just a week. Yeah, it hurt that you weren’t into me for as long as I’ve been into you, but... I’m not mad.”

Alex couldn’t help but smile.

“So you forgive me?” Alex asked hopefully.

Michael held back a smile as he shrugged and said, “I don’t know. You really obsessed with how cute I am?”

“Yes,” Alex laughed, “And you’re hot too. I literally look at that picture of you covered in grease and working on that car to, like, get myself out of bed in the morning.”

Michael snorted and finally looked over at him, letting his smile show. It was the most beautiful smile Alex had ever seen.

“Kiss me, then?” he requested. Alex gave a quick sweep of the room to make sure Mrs. Bernard wasn’t in yet before he leaned forward and gave him a short and sweet kiss. “Just, you know, be nice to me.”

“That I can do.”

“I also expect more shirtless pictures.”

“Fair is fair,” Alex agreed. Michael’s tongue pressed against his teeth as he smiled wildly, leaning forward to press a kiss to Alex’s cheek. He felt his cheeks heat up. “Thank you for forgiving me.”

“It’s all good,” Michael said, pushing himself to his feet, “I’m keeping this one in my wallet, by the way.”

“Okay,” Alex laughed, watching him walk over to the bass section and flop into his seat.

He felt really lucky that Liz had fucked up.

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #prompts #meet ugly prompts

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derivativealigner · 4 years ago

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I rewatched the second season of South Park and took so many notes that I had to split them into two parts. Like seriously, I took so. many. notes. And pictures this time. I started rewatching just in case I’d find some cool little facts to sprinkle into my fanfic but I went way too far and now there’s a million facts under this cut (including gay stan, a domestic violence psa, and craig fucking dying)

Stan doesn’t like hospitals, he finds them gross and he gets sick 🤮. Also the hospital in South Park is called Hell’s Pass hospital. Early seasons have the name as Hells Pass but it gets fixed later

Cartman has to sing all of Come Sailing Away by Styx if he hears a part of it. After he says this, Kyle sings the first part and Cartman has to sing the rest. Kyle does it again later, which is kinda mean

Cartman’s mom tries to abort Cartman, who is an eight-year-old child and thus cannot be legally aborted. Later, after she slept with Bill Clinton to change the law and make 40th trimester abortions legal, it turns out she meant adoption

Kenny sacrifices himself to turn on the generator to the hospital and save Dr. Mephesto’s life along with others. He says “I’ll fucking do it” then does it and dies, absolute legend

Cartman gets way too into his deputy role. He goes undercover, pretends to be a prostitute, says “Respect my authoritah!” a lot and beats people up with his police stick

Kenny’s brother first appears when Cartman responds to a call about a disturbance at Kenny’s house. Apparently there are like 10 adult family members in the house at that time. Kenny’s dad has a black eye because Kenny’s mom punched him. She says he can’t hold a job

Token sits in the classroom in season 2

Cartman starts hating hippies in this season, like a lot

Chef tells the boys that the right time to do drugs is in college

Ike’s name is Ike Moisha Broflovski and he was born in 1996, making him 2 years old in 1998 when this season aired

This is probably obvious but yeah Kyle and Ike are circumcised

Kyle says family isn’t just blood, it’s who you care about, and he says “That’s why you guys are more than just friends, you’re my family. Except for Cartman.”

Craig’s finally sitting in the classroom in S02E04

None of the boys like dodgeball

Clyde gets a dodgeball to the face and he cries :( and he’s the only one who cries by the way

Pip throws a dodgeball in Kyle’s face and breaks Kyle’s nose

When Kyle’s mom tells the boys about conjoined twin myslexia (which isn’t a real term) and says anyone might’ve absorbed their dead twin in the womb, Stan and Cartman run away screaming but Kenny and Kyle stay to listen. Kenny even leans in to look at the book “Freaks A-Z!” that Mrs. Broflovski is reading from, and when she leaves, Kyle grimaces and Kenny laughs

Stan’s mom (Sharon) calls Kyle’s mom (Sheila) when Stan is all freaked out and trying to put an icepick through his brain, and Sharon tells Sheila to get run over by a truck. Sharon is pretty mean in these early episodes

Mr. Broflovski doesn’t really listen to what Mrs. Broflovski is saying, bad husband >:(

South Park’s team is always called South Park Cows no matter the sport

The school nurse, Nurse Gollum, went to Colorado State University

I just realized Butters exists. I think he appeared before S02E05 but I didn’t notice but yeah he’s there with the dodgeball team, injured

Here’s a picture to make up for my disgusting anti-Butters bias

Kenny’s dodgeball uniform number is 69 obviously. Kyle is 7, Stan is 4, Cartman is 325

Sheila smacks Gerald in the face so hard he falls off his chair, lots of violence perpetrated by women in this show. Remember, don’t do domestic violence no matter your gender, it’s not cool

I realized after this whole Butters thing that I should’ve made more notes about Pip, so I’ll make a note about his anger issues now. When people call him French, he gets angry and throws dodgeballs at them

The boys launch a jelly roll at Ms. Crabtree and make her crash the bus. They do it just for fun

The kids somehow go to China in the school bus

Cartman references Moby Dick, but he probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about

Kevin Stoley gets named in S02E05 and has his first speaking role when he says he has Chinese parents and after Cartman hears it he immediately says something racist. smh cartman, what a problematic fave

Cartman says “I love you guys 😊” but Stan and Kyle just stare at him and he goes 😐 “Eh, screw you guys 😠”

If Jimbo and Ned really fought in Vietnam, they youngest they could’ve been in 1998 is early forties, which means in the latest seasons they would be early sixties. Btw they met in Vietman

Jesus and Pals is a recurring TV show in seasons 1 and 2. Jesus just kind of lives in South Park

I just remembered that Terrance and Phillip are really old in canon, it’s so weird, like how can South Park canon still be changing, it’s been 20 years

Also the early seasons are casually racist who knew

Kenny flashes his ass on a tape the boys send to Jimbo and Ned’s TV show, which airs and at least 12 people see Kenny’s bare naked ass

Cartman really doesn’t like hippies in these early seasons. He throws a chair at Ned and yells, “Take that, hippie!” (Ned is in a catatonic state and did nothing to provoke this)

Jimbo and Ned live together I guess. Jimbo’s gonna take Ned home and show him some hardcore porn to snap him out of his catatonic state, good husband unlike Gerald Broflovski

Saddam Hussein is in hell and has a Canadian accent and is Satan’s lover in S02E06, I guess he died in Canada in the first episode this season but I wasn’t paying much attention since that’s the Terrance and Phillip episode that pissed a bunch of people off in 1998 because the audience wanted to know who Cartman’s dad is instead. It was kind of a boring episode so I understand why everyone was pissed, but it is funny that Matt and Trey did that so I’m not mad about it

Aww look at them!!! We’ve got background Style, the vaguest inkling of Crenny, and Cartman/Cake

I’d take more screenshots but it’s a pain since I’m watching legally and stupid legal websites block screenshots so I have to find youtube videos instead ughhhh piracy is the answer kids

Apparently there’s a huge waterfall and canyon somewhere close to South Park, maybe? At least in Stan’s dream

Mary Kay Bergman was an incredible voice actor. How the hell did she voice all the moms, Wendy, Shelly, principle Victoria, the mayor, Nurse Gollum, and fucking Ms. Crabtree??? Holy shit what a queen

Kenny has some feelings about death. He reimagines the episode where death boops him to death and in his version, he beats death the fuck up, then has ice cream and is happy 😊 But again, this is in Stan’s dream

S02E07 kind of establishes that nobody remembers Kenny dying because when Cartman tells a story where Kenny dies, Kyle questions how Kenny could’ve died then when he also died just a few hours ago when a giant monster took him

rip craig, he falls out the bus and into a canyon

But it’s okay because it was all Stan’s dream so everything in the episode is questionable. Everything after this is no longer a dream

Pip’s parents are dead and he has to go to summer school while everyone else is having a nice summer break

Officer Barbrady and the mayor are having sexual relations, I’m sure this is the most interesting note I’ve made so far. Idk I’m just writing everything down, this is how I enjoy things, I have no off switch

Ew summer bus stop, cursed

Kyle casually sings little tunes every once in a while, how cute

This is pretty obvious but Kenny likes dirty jokes, he laughs when Cartman innocently says he loves Chef’s salty chocolate balls (which are chocolate candy). Nobody else laughs

Cartman says “Screw you guys, I’m going home” or variations of it a lot in this season

So Stan throws up when he likes someone, right? Well, he’s watching an indie movie about two gay cowboys who start making out and he throws up, which is either a terrible homophobic joke or confirmation that Stan’s a little gay. I know which one I prefer

Kyle says Mr. Hankey is his best friend after Stan. Like I know it’s definitely canon that Stan and Kyle are best friends but it’s still nice to see confirmation, it’s very precious. Also Kyle is best friends with literal shit, so cute 😊

Kenny deaths:

S02E02 Kenny sacrifices himself by connecting a generator wire, which electrocutes him but brings power back to a hospital

S02E03 A tree falls on Kenny and crushes him

S02E04 Kenny falls in a grave and the gravestone falls on him

S02E05 The Chinese dodgeball team throws a ball at Kenny and he gets splattered against a wall

S02E06 Two guys pull on Kenny and tear him in half, as in one has the head and one has the legs

S02E07 A big scary monster plucks Kenny out of the school bus and carries him away. Also in Cartman’s fake memory of Fonzi jumping over cars, the motorcycle hits Kenny and crushes him against a brick wall. Kenny gets smashed against walls a lot, doesn’t he?

S02E08 Flashback: Baby Kenny has a firecracker and it explodes, sprinkling little baby Kenny parts everywhere. Later in the episode, current day Kenny dies when a giant firework snake bumps him off a stage and under a fence, which then crushes him.

S02E09 Kenny is playing with a yoyo outside a movie theatre when a bunch of people come outside and trample him to death. They say “Oh my God, I found a penny!” and “You bastard!”

I’ll post part 2 of season 2 in a couple days. I’m having way more fun writing these stupid notes than I thought I would (also gnomes is coming up soon and i am fucking ready for tweek)

#south park #sp rewatch #i thought i made way too many notes last time #oh boy #also sorry for my anti butters bias showing #i completely forgot to take notes about him until episode 5 #oops

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alipeeps · 4 years ago

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New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game

Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D

There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).

[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]

I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:

So... without further ado:

1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)!

2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)

3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)

4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.

5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).

6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.

7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).

8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”

I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.

8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....

It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.

9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D

10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)

11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D

12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.

12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.

13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.

14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).

15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.

16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped!

17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D

18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.

19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!

20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D

21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!

He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D

21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.

22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.

23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine.

24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D

Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!

I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy, @arlothia, @howdydowdy, @thepromiseweheldforlife and @the-wandering-whumper!

#meme #fandom #crushes

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clydefrogzz · 5 years ago

Text

Truth or Dare: A Style Oneshot

Summary: After a simple game of truth or dare, a certain truth asked by Kyle leads to him later asking "Would you ever kiss a guy?" Eventually, it becomes "What if we tried kissing each other? Just an experiment. No homo." But after they kiss, the two of them realize they like it more than they thought they would

Warning: This is really bad. I wrote it at 12 AM in the span of 2 hours.

It was a cold Saturday night in South Park, Colorado. Needless to say, every night was cold in that quiet mountain town. The wind rustled in the trees outside of a brown house, sounding eerie yet a bit calming at the same time. Inside that house were two boys, Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski.

The two had been best friends ever since they were in preschool. They'd been through everything together, from evil mutant turkeys to fighting against Satan himself. They'd seen it all. Despite the ups and downs of their friendship, they stuck together like glue. After all, they were best friends. Super best friends. Maybe, however, they'd become more than that?

At the time, the two were having a sleepover. They had them often, nearly every weekend. They sat criss-crossed on Stan's bed, facing each other. Stan's mom had told them to go to bed at least three hours ago, but the two of them wouldn't comply. They never did.

"Okay, my turn. Truth or dare?" Kyle asked with a smile. It was a cliché sleepover game, but they couldn't decide on anything else to do.

"Um, truth," Stan replied. Kyle laughed.

"Hah, pussy!"

"Shut uppp!" Stan found himself giggling as well as he nudged Kyle playfully.

"Alright, alright. Hmm," Kyle thought of something to ask. "Ooh! Would you rather kiss? Clyde or Scott Malkinson?"

"Are you seriously asking that?"

"You gotta answer it, it's a truth!"

"Okay, fine. Um, Clyde?"

Kyle snorted "Dude, no way!"

"What, did you expect me to choose Scott?" Stan didn't hate Scott, but he found him pretty lame. He'd definitely rather kiss Clyde.

"I dunno, it's just… weird to think about."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. My turn. Truth or dare?"

They continued like this for a while. Sometimes, when one of them got bold enough, they'd chose dare. However, they'd definitely regret it after hearing what they had to do. Still, a dare's a dare. At one point, Stan dared Kyle to go to Shelly's room and wake her up. That did not end well, to say the least.

An hour or two went by, and the boys started getting tired. It was three in the morning, so you can't blame them. However, they were still talking, despite how tired they were. Kyle seemed a bit quiet, though. Stan picked up on it almost instantly.

"Dude, are you okay? You're acting a bit off," he finally asked after a bit.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kyle answered. "I'm just… thinking."

"About what? You can always talk to me, y'know." Stan replied. If something was bothering Kyle, he'd want to help him with it.

"I know. I was just thinking about that truth I asked you earlier. Y'know, 'who would you rather kiss?'"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well…" Kyle paused before continuing. "Stan, would you ever actually kiss a dude? Like, not specifically Scott or Clyde, just… any dude in general?"

"I, uh-" Stan was caught a bit off guard by that question. "I don't know. I mean, I've thought about it before, but everyone has. Right?"

"Yeah, everyone has."

"Mhmm. Maybe I would? I guess I could… try it. At least once."

"Yeah, I'd probably try it, too."

A silence filled the room. Both of their faces were starting to grow weirdly hot. It was quiet for what felt like an hour before Kyle spoke up.

"You think we could maybe try… y'know. Just as an experiment? I mean, we both said we'd try, so…"

"Uh… yeah. We could try. But we should keep it between the two of us. No one needs to know. Just an experiment. No homo?"

"No homo," Kyle agreed.

They sat in silence for another 10 seconds.

"So, do I just-" Stan started awkwardly.

"I don't know, I've never, uh, done this before," Kyle replied.

"Neither have I. I think we just…" Stan scooted closer to Kyle, and slowly inched his face towards the other's. This was so weird and awkward, and Stan didn't really know how to feel about it. However, he was able to push his feeling of awkwardness away by assuring himself that it was just an experiment.

Kyle eventually got tired of waiting like this. He wanted to make it quick. It was too weird like this, especially with how slow it was going. So instead of just sitting there like, he took a deep breath and quickly closed the gap between the two of them.

Immediately they realized this incorrect.

It wasn't even a kiss, their lips were just smooshed together as if you were to get two Barbie dolls to kiss. Plus, their noses were squished together uncomfortably. Kyle pulled away after less than 2 seconds.

"That wasn't right," Kyle said. "I barely even know anything about kissing, and I know that wasn't right."

"Should we try again?" Stan asked.

"Yeah, probably."

"Maybe I could try to guide us. Shelly forces me to watch these dumb rom-coms all the time, I think I might have picked up on some stuff."

Kyle nodded and waited for Stan to do his thing.

This time, Stan tilted his head a bit instead of just moving straight forward. His lips were parted ever so slightly. Instead of moving so slowly, he went a little faster so Kyle wasn't just sitting there doing nothing like he was last time.

Their lips connected. Stan felt his cheeks heat up for the second time that night. After a few moments, Stan unconsciously brought his hands up and locked them behind Kyle's neck. He didn't notice he did it until he was done, but he didn't take his hands away. This wasn't too bad.

Kyle, on the other hand, was internally freaking out. Being as inexperienced as he was, his brain was racked with questions. Am I doing this wrong? Am I messing everything up? Does Stan hate it?

Once he felt Stan's arms lock around his neck, he relaxed a bit. He decided he should do something with his arms instead of having them hand at his sides like dumb, limp little fettuccini noodles. His hands went to Stan's waist, and seeing as Stan didn't do anything to signify he was uncomfortable, Kyle assumed it was okay.

The kiss definitely went on for longer than both of them had expected. They expected maybe 5 seconds at most. And they thought they would find it gross and want to pull away. But here they were, actually finding it kind of nice, and well over 5 seconds.

Eventually, Stan disconnected the kiss. Neither of them moved their hands or scooted away, however. They were both in a sort of trance. Faces red as tomatoes, eyes not averting their gaze from the other's.

After a bit, they broke out of their trance, realizing what had just happened. Quickly, they pulled away from each other. Here came the awkwardness. They only had one thought racing through their minds.

"Holy shit, I just kissed my best friend and I loved it."

Both of them knew they weren't supposed to like that as much as they did. Before that night, neither of them would have even considered kissing the other. They never thought to themselves 'I think I have a crush on Kyle.' or 'I think I have a crush on Stan.' Heck, they thought they were 100% straight before this.

But now?

A whole lot of reconsidering was going on.

They thought about all the times they'd spent together. And practically at the same time, they realized...

"Kyle?"

"Yeah, Stan?"

"I think I love you."

…

"I think I love you, too."

#this was fun to write #but now its 2 am and im tired #south park #south park stan #south park kyle #south park style #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #why am i up #i have school today

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maxhoemo · 7 years ago

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max/chad pt. 3

tw; transphobia

Chad’s mom was the coolest. So much cooler than Max’s parents. Max preferred staying over at their house as much she could. Their house was huge, Chad’s room was the entire attic. Well, it was more of a loft than an attic. He had everything. Computer, Playstation, X-Box, and unlike Max’s house, their cupboard’s were always filled with snacks. Max’s mom never bought snacks. Also unlike Max’s mom, Chad’s let him have sleepovers on weekdays. Okay, it sounded lame, Max thought, but it meant she could basically spend all her time there if she wanted.

Max and Chad were hanging out in Chad’s room, as they usually were. Max was trying to finish her homework. She never saw Chad do his… She tapped the end of her pencil against the paper impatiently, stuck on a particular question. Tossing the pencil down, she huffed and got up to have a walk around the room. “Jesus Christ, Chad!” She shouted, catching a glimpse of his computer screen. “Are you seriously watching porn right now!?”

“Yeah. What’s the big deal?”

“I’m right here!”

“You’re fucking always here! When else am I ever gonna get a chance?”

Max crossed her arms. She supposed he had a point. Somewhat. She raised an eyebrow looking over his shoulder in pure curiosity. Two generic looking porn stars, a guy and a girl. Of course the girl was blonde, with giant tits and no body hair. Was that really what guys wanted….? Max had never seen porn before. She felt an odd mix of ickyness and lust. It was like a car crash…. She dropped her arms to her sides, biting her lip slightly. She hated being a teenager. Sex scenes in movies, that didn’t show anything, could make her feel horny. But seeing porn was like an entirely different level of horniness. It was like turning on a light switch. Put it in front of her same result every time, like a machine, no matter what. She watched over her friends shoulder, the man lick the woman’s pussy. It was gross seeing a vagina that close…But when the camera focused on her face. The sounds she made….The things she said…That was the part Max liked. “…I wish someone would do that to me….” she blurted out.

“I would do it.” Chad answered immediately, though, nonchalantly.

“You….You wouldn’t know how….” Max retorted, trying to mask her redening face. She felt so stupid for saying something like that! But it was true. She wanted to have sex. At least her body did. But she didn’t want it with Chad. “I’d rather….”

“Kyle Moore! I know….” Chad finished her sentence for her. “Why? Cause he’s athletic? He’s a twat….”

“He’s cute! Anyways, I know you would rather be with her, wouldn’t you?” Max pointed to the woman on screen.

“Nah, I’d way rather fuck you than her.”

“Liar….” Max groaned.

“You’re hot Max, just accept it.”

“Ugh. No I’m not… I hate my body….”

“Why?”

“I don’t know….. It just….It doesn’t feel like it belongs to me, you know?”

“No….”

Max sighed. “I know….It’s so hard to put into words, I don’t really understand it myself. Maybe it’s just puberty, I don’t know….”

Chad shrugged, closing his tab and absent-mindedly refreshing facebook, which was open behind it. “Oh look, Max. Kyle’s status. He’s feeling blessed. What a fucking tool.”

“Shut up! Some people aren’t miserable sacks of crap, you know…”

“You’re thinking with your pussy! He’s a fucking cunt!”

“You just wanna fuck me!”

“Yeah, I do! But that’s got nothin’ to do with it!”

“Just leave me alone….” Max grumbled, going back to her work.

…..

It was well past midnight. Chad was passed out. Max knew she should be asleep. She’d be miserable at school tomorrow. But she had to use Chad’s computer. She didn’t have the privacy at home, and she didn’t want to look this shit up with Chad over her shoulder.

She sat in his chair, wiggling the mouse to wake it up. The first thing that greeted her was Chad’s facebook timeline. Kyle’s status still at the top. She smiled to herself, deciding to click the name. Scrolling through his pictures she sighed. He was so cute. He probably didn’t even know she existed. She frowned. She wanted him so badly….

Opening up a new tab, she typed into google; “how to make a crush notice you…” She scrolled through the results, but nothing looked promising. All the same old shit. Talk to them, dress nice…. She supposed she could give it a try…. She deleted the search, instead typing; “my best friend has a crush on me”. Max laughed to herself as she scrolled. All the results were so mean. She didn’t want to tell Chad to fuck off and never talk to her again, she liked him. Besides, he didn’t really have a crush on her. He just wanted to stick his dick in her cause he was horny and weird, just like she was. If she was less nervous, she might have even let him….She sighed. Erasing that search too. That wasn’t what she really needed help with. She hesitated, fingers trembling as they went to type. She was scared of any answer she might find. What if she was crazy? What if she had a mental illness and needed to go to a hospital? Slowly she typed in; “I’m a girl and I wish I was born a boy….” Again, not very many useful results. In a new tab, she logged onto good old Fanpop.com. It was the only site she could think of at the moment where she was anonymous, and could ask a community of people her age. She went over to the ‘advice’ page and typed in the exact same question. Maybe someone would feel the same, who knows. Closing the tab, now back over at google. She scrolled down until she found someone else who had asked the same question. She wasn’t familiar with the forum site, but wanted to give it a shot. Just to see what people were saying.

As she began to read the replies, she frowned.

People may try to fill your head with these vague and weird ideas about how you are spiritually male or something like that even though they probably don’t even believe in spirits. They might even suggest that you get a sex change operation. Don’t listen to that nonsense. No one can make you male. You aren’t male. And there’s nothing wrong with being female.

Max huffed angrily. This first guy didn’t have to be such a dick about someone asking a simple question. She didn’t know why he said it was all nonsense. Max thought the idea of her soul being male made perfect sense. But that didn’t really help…. She scrolled to the next answer.

You think of the things that guys do not and would never experience such as giving birth, having monthly periods and the cramps that come with it.

Ugh! That wasn’t it at all! This answer was nicer, but somehow even worse!

Sometimes this dilemma is part of our life lesson: to learn to accept our feminity.

‘I don’t have to accept anything, bitch’ Max thought. These answers weren’t helping at all. Maybe there was no answer. Maybe she was just crazy…. She tapped her finger against the mouse in thought. This first guy had mentioned the sex change operation, just like Chad did when she brought it up to him. Max had definitely heard of it before, maybe that would hold the answer. Maybe it could lead her to some kind of scientific explanation for what she was feeling. She went back and typed in the phrase.

“Ew!!” She quickly scrolled past the graphic images and videos that popped up, clicking instead on the wikipedia article.

the surgical procedure (or procedures) by which a transgender person’s physical…

Transgender…Now there was a new word. She clicked the link, but was sorely disappointed. The article was hard to read. Filled with jargon and words she didn’t recognize. It was hard to make sense of….She closed the browser in frustration. It was 3am. She needed to sleep.

#mad #writing

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delta-roseblr · 6 years ago

Text

A little ficlet

Hello, everyone!

So I thought I would share a little ficlet that shows a bit more of Kyle.

This takes place during Felix and Kyle’s senior year of high school (which would also be Dean’s freshman year of college).

Felix’s phone made a sound like a strumming guitar, and he couldn’t help but smile. He did his best to hide it as he stretched across Kyle’s bed to grab his phone. When he looked at the screen, he saw it was a text from Dean, but Felix already knew that.

Dean: My roommate won’t change in our room anymore. He goes to the bathroom or waits until I leave. I don’t know if I should be amused or offended.

Felix typed back a quick reply before tossing the phone aside. The phone bounced gently before settling next to the math textbook that Kyle was hunched over. Kyle didn’t look up from what he was doing as he spoke. “How’s Dean?” He asked as he turned the page.

Felix opened his mouth to deny it, but even before he started, he recognized that it was pointless. “His roommate is being weird, but otherwise he’s fine.”

“Still don’t know how Dean’s roommate didn’t realize Dean is gay,” Kyle commented, “You two talk constantly on the phone.”

“Dean’s not gay,” Felix corrected. He didn’t know why he bothered at that point because no one seemed willing to use the word bisexual, especially when referring to a guy, but there he was arguing it anyway. “And I’m pretty sure that his roommate has been too busy slutting it up to notice anything Dean does,” he offered as an explanation.

In truth, Felix didn’t really get it either. He and Dean talked on the phone every day and texted even more. Now that he was away at college Dean was putting in almost no effort into hiding that they were a couple, so Felix was pretty sure Dean had grossly couple-y pictures of them as the background on his phone and computer. And on top of it all, all the friends Dean had made at school were from the campus’ gay-straight alliance. Chuck (Dean’s roommate) was apparently a very unobservant motherfucker.

“Oh,” Kyle replied.

Felix went back to his history textbook, and Kyle went back to his math without the need for any additional conversation. Kyle could be a chatter when he wanted to be but typically when they studied together it was relatively quiet. Felix usually managed to actually get some studying done with Kyle, which was a hell of a lot better than when he used to study with Dean even before they were dating.

Felix was halfway through a paragraph about the importance of checks and balances in the US federal government when Kyle broke the pleasant silence. “Can I ask you a question,” he asked thoughtfully.

No good conversation ever started with that question. Felix honestly didn’t even know why people asked that. All it did was set his hair on end and frayed his nerves.

Just barely glancing up from his book, Felix replied plainly, “No.”

Kyle sighed, shut his textbook dramatically, and shifted so that when Felix looked up, he was sitting cross-legged at the end of the bed staring back at him. “What is it like?” he asked almost wistfully.

Well, they were clearly having this conversation if Felix wanted to or not. That was already not great, but Felix had no fucking clue what Kyle was talking about. After marking his page, Felix shut his textbook and sat up at the head of the bed. “What is what like?” he asked. He didn’t try to his annoyance. Felix had never even tried with Kyle and the guy was completely undeterred so at that point Felix didn’t see the fucking point.

“Sex.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Felix groaned and brought his hands up to scrub at his face, “Why the fuck are you asking me!?!”

Kyle let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a snort, “Who else am I supposed to ask?”

“I don’t know, Ian,” Felix retorted quickly. He wasn’t doing this. He wasn’t having this conversation. Felix wasn’t even the type to engage in that typical locker room talk when he had the opportunity. He wasn’t going to sit there and try to describe what sex was like. He just fucking wasn’t.

“Gross!” Kyle hissed and then just in case Felix had missed his outrage he picked his discarded pencil off the bed and tossed it at Felix’s chest. “I have no desire to talk to my brother about sex,” Kyle declared like the idea was utterly repulsive.

Put that way, Felix guessed he understood. After he confided in his sister that he was dating Dean, she suddenly thought they could talk about stuff like dating and sex, and it was fucking horrifying.

Kyle looked down and picked at the comforter, with sudden bashfulness. “Besides,” Kyle added softly, “If I tried, he would ask if I’m seeing someone, and I’m definitely not, so….”

God mother-fucking damn it, Felix thought with frustration. He really didn’t want to have that conversation, he wasn’t even sure how, but he sort of felt….guilty. That probably wasn’t the right word, but Felix couldn’t think of a better one. He liked Kyle more than he really wanted to. The guy was just fucking impossible to hate. He had been cool with Felix even during that period that he and Dean were broken up which no one was (except for kind of Will but that had been fucking weird).

Plus, Felix sort of felt for him because he had been the guy with a crush on someone completely unattainable, and he remembered how much that fucking sucked. Granted, things had worked out for Felix in the end and that wouldn’t be the case for Kyle (but he could do better then Will anyways) but he still got where Kyle was coming from.

“Dude, I don’t know what you want me to fucking say,” Felix admitted, “I mean, it’s sex.”

“I mean, I don’t know,” Kyle sort of half shrugged, “What was your first time like?” he questioned before quickly looking up, “I mean with Dean. I don’t want to hear about being with girls.” He made a face when he said girls, and if there was any question of just how gay the guy was, they would have been officially put to rest right then and there.

God, this is so fucking awkward, Felix thought as he resisted the urge to squirm. “Dean was my first time,” Felix admitted begrudgingly. He was happy about that fact but hated having to point it out. It was private, and it made him feel weirdly vulnerable, which he couldn’t fucking stand. “And I’m not telling you about that,” he added firmly.

“Then could you call Dean?” Kyle questioned with a bit of a grin starting to appear on his face that Felix didn’t particularly like, “Because from the way Wash and Watts tell it, he doesn’t have any problem talking about his sex life.”

Felix laughed despite himself because Dean definitely slipped into “locker room” talk his fair share. It was sort of annoying at times, but Dean was always appropriately vague in his bragging, so Felix let it go.

Felix wasn’t going to tell that to Kyle, so instead, he picked up Kyle’s previously tossed pencil and held it out like a weapon. “I will stab you with this fucking pencil,” he threatened. Of course, he was holding the pencil eraser out, so the fell sort of flat.

“Sure you will, kitty cat,” Kyle laughed, “You don’t want to talk about your personal experience, I get that, but…..well, is it at least as amazing as I have imagined?”

“Oh, and we are gliding right past you calling me kitty cat, are we?” Felix questioned. He didn’t even know how to take that. What the fuck!?!

Kyle swatted at the air in a dismissive way, “You are a kitty cat, and we all know you have claws.” Felix probably should have had a come back to that, but he just sputtered, and Kyle didn’t give him enough time to get past his surprise. “Um, so is it…..or is it something that, I don’t know, gets better with time?”

Felix let out a heavy sigh before launching into his answer. “I mean, it definitely gets better with time and experience,” he admitted and immediately noticed how Kyle deflated a little.

Why the fucking was he having this conversation? Felix wondered with frustration. Even worse, he felt compelled to continue. Like it was his job to reassure Kyle or something. When had he become that person? Fuck.

“You get more comfortable and confident with experience, and at least if you are with the same person, you learn what they like and they learn what you like,” he explained. It was so hard to talk about all of this because even in the vaguest of terms it felt weirdly personal. On top of that, Felix was sure he was explaining everything poorly. He dropped the pencil that was still loosely within his grip and took an interest in the bedding under him to hide any signs of his own embarrassment.

Kyle’s bedding was a reddish brown that was almost the same color as the guy’s hair, and Felix was surprised he hadn’t noticed that before. They studied a lot in Kyle’s room too because studying at Felix’s house was impossible. The one-time Felix had Kyle over to study, his dad got all sorts of weird and had made a whole deal about Felix keeping his bedroom door open and any music off while Kyle was over. It was like his dad thought he was going to start fucking Kyle or something, which was just insulting. At that point, he should have had Kyle’s bedroom memorized, but he had never noticed that his bedspread matched his hair.

“That doesn’t mean the first time isn’t great,” Felix stated, his voice coming out more…muted then he would have liked. “I mean, I know my first time was nothing like I had expected, but it was everything I had wanted. It was terrifying and amazing and completely unforgettable in all the ways I wanted it to be,” Felix said realizing about halfway through he was talking too fast, and it sounded like he was rambling.

At some point his mind had gone back to his first time: the way it had felt with Dean on top of him and in him, the smell of Dean’s cologne intermixed with the musky smell of their sweat, and the sounds of his own heart pounding and Dean moaning for him. The memory wasn’t helping his rambling any and made him really frustrated that Dean was in California and wouldn’t be to home until Thanksgiving. “I don’t know if that makes any sort of sense,” he admitted.

“Not really,” Kyle confessed, and Felix couldn’t tell if the unnamable thing in his voice was just confusion or disappointment, “But I guess it’s what I expected.”

Felix suddenly felt weirdly exposed and embarrassed. Why were they talking about this again, Felix couldn’t really remember. All he could remember was that he wanted out. Unfortunately, Kyle was his ride home, so he was stuck. He just needed to move the conversation along to something less personal and awkward.

He reached out and nudged Kyle’s shoulder as much as he dared and commented awkwardly, “We’ll find you some cute blonde and then you can stop asking me about this sort of shit.”

If the goal was to defuse the situation so it could just past, Felix failed, that much was clear. Kyle did another half shrug as he replied, “I’m cool with finding someone, but they don’t have to be blonde.”

“Oh,” Felix exclaimed a little surprised, “I guess I just figured you had a type.” There was Will for starters, and even though Kyle knew Will was in a serious relationship, Kyle was still nursing a huge crush. He also had this tendency to hang on Dean, so much so Felix had thought Kyle might have had a thing for Dean at one point. Now he recognized that was pretty far from the truth. He guessed he had just assumed that the guy had a thing for blondes.

“I mean I guess I do,” Kyle shrugged, “But it is less about the look.”

“Oh, so ugly guys,” Felix joked, “That totally explains your thing for Will.”

“You are such a fucking ass,” Kyle laughed. Felix thought he noticed Kyle look around for something else to toss at him. He didn’t find anything which was probably a good thing because Felix wasn’t into getting hit with a textbook. “You know everyone talks about how much Dean and Will look alike, right?”

Felix just shrugged at that. He knew that Dean and Will looked a lot alike even though he didn’t think that they looked as similar as everyone else did. He even could admit that Will was objectively attractive if you were into overly freckled giants.

Kyle pushed his math book away and shifted a little on the bed. “Will has always been this effortlessly perfect person,” Kyle explained, “He is smart, athletic, and kind. It's hard not to be attracted to him.”

“Oh god,” Felix exclaimed with (mostly fake) disgust, “We definitely need to find you someone so you never describe Will as effortlessly perfect again.” Felix shook his head as a show of disapproval, “I honestly just threw up a little in my mouth.”

“Like I said,” Kyle retorted with a little laugh, “You are such an ass.”

#Delix #OCs

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callingallmarshmallows · 7 years ago

Text

The Last Jedi spoilers below the cut

Okay sooo this movie was just really weird to me?? Like was it a good movie? Definitely. Was it a good star wars movie? I really don't fucking know tbh. Gonna have to watch it again to form solid opinions. For now, I'm just gonna talk about the good and bad.

The Good:

It seems to me that put the reylo story to rest which is brill!!! Like I know that it seems like it was a pro reylo movie (and yeah, there were parts like the shirtless scene and the hand holding scene that were) but it seemed to me that by the end of the movie they were through with the kylo redemption arc. Rey shut the door on his stupid face, it looked final. And if after this they still try to redeem him I will literally fucking scream

I know a some people didn't like the way the Luke/kylo story was handled but I found it interesting. It's always been implied that the dark side can make you do things that you wouldn't think of otherwise, draws on more intense, darker feelings like pain and fear, and I think that's exactly what happened with Luke. He got scared and succumbed and for a split second was ready to kill the piece of shit kyle (should've done it tbh). This led to him being bitter, and I can understand that too. The guilt obviously weighed heavy on his conscience. I would have preferred a movie where Luke hadn’t turned into a bitter old man, but as it is I didn’t absolutely hate his arc I guess.

I mean, they already fucked up the perfectly happy expanded universe endings so I’ve been resigned to the bitter fates of the original trio.

I also quite liked Rey trying to figure out her past, and I especially loved that she turned out to be descended from "no-one." It's the theory I've been hoping was true (the other ones I wouldn't have minded was her being related to obi wan or qui-gon). It's a message I thought was cool: anyone can be force sensitive, anyone can be a Jedi. Ofc, kyle might have been lying and she might still be a skywalker and this whole reylo thing might be a gross ploy by rian to imitate the incest stuff from the original movies in which case i will personally find rian and stab him

Quite liked the theme of letting the past go. So many of the characters are stuck in their pasts, and the first order existing sort of hinges on the ideas of the original empire so the overarching theme of letting the past die resonated. It applies to fans too: purism gets you nowhere.

The fight sequences were all amazing. Luke fucking owning kyle's ass made my life!!!!

SPACE MOM USING THE FORCE TO GET BACK TO THE SHIP MY HEART ALMOST BURST

Yoda!!!!!!!!!!! Listen, I’m just a bitch for OT characters showing up

Holdo being a badass and just straight up flying her ship at lightspeed through the first order barrage like wow how fucking iconic??

Rose being the sweetest ever (Kelly Tran played her to perfection, working wonderfully with the material she was given). She was allowed to be soft, sweet, kind and capable, strong, badass all at the same time, which was so great. And her crush on Finn as well as their dynamic was adorable.

The Bad:

Ho my god- the reylo. The Force Skype thing was literally a fanfiction plot. The angsty longing gazes from Kyle's end made me gag. The hand holding thing?? The elevator scene?? Why would you make me look at that with my own two eyes whyyyy. Thank God it's (probably) over

WHY TF WAS FINN GIVEN SUCH A THROWAWAY PLOT

It just boggles my mind??? That whole sequence where he and rose go to that planet to get the hacker guy took my out of the movie completely. It almost felt like prequel levels of nonsense. Were both rose and finn as a pair entertaining to watch? Yes. Would they be good as a couple? Yeah sure. Is it super fucking great that they're an interracial couple? Yes!!! Doesnt fucking erase the fact that it felt like that whole plot and Rose (as much as I love her and as much as I'm happy she exists) too was created because they didn't know what to do with Finn.

And why tf was there so little interaction between Finn and Poe?????????? Look, I get that Disney can't make them a couple if they don't want the movie to be banned from some (bigoted) countries (including mine unfortunately). Movie making is a business, whatever I get it, but the interactions between these two were part of why I (and so many others) liked tfa so much. That whole hacker planet plot should either have been Finn and Poe's, or else Finn should have had a plot back on the ship. Ughhhhhh

And also, making Rose and Finn kiss/a couple basically just ensures that Finn is never going to end up with Rey and I'm fine with that only if she ends up single by the end of this series. Or like, just as long as she's not with fucking kyle ron. I'm just terrified that that's exactly what's gonna happen though. Let's hope j.j doesn't let us down.

Other stuff:

Did anyone else notice that Rey had taken the Jedi books from the temple. Is that why Yoda was chill with destroying the temple?

What was the Dark Side seaweed pit about? It was a pretty cool sequence but like??

Pretty disappointed with snoke tbh. Went into the movie looking for answers and came out with absolutely nothing. Where did he come from? Why is he the supreme leader? Why is he the supreme leader if he’s a little bitch who was beaten by actual child kylo ren? Why wasn’t he 15 ft tall smh

I’m really sad that Luke’s gone, but I’m pretty sure he’ll appear as force ghost in the next movie. He has to.

How are they gonna deal with Carrie Fisher’s death? They’ve apparently said that they don’t wanna bring her back through cgi so does that mean they’ll have to kill her off? She was supposed to have a pretty big part of ep9 but I don’t see what they can do besides killing her off. They could send her off elsewhere but it would be pretty odd if she was alive and she didn’t appear through the movie.

ANyway I cried every scene she was in

#that's all i can remember rn #i'm watching it again in two days so i'll probably have a lot more to rant about then #the last jedi #the last jedi spoilers #star wars tlj #star wars #star wars spoilers #tlj spoilers #i hope that's enough tags

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