#I mean I guess technically I have the skills required to get up there but��� this feels like it should be more endgame stuff lmao

[blupengu]

Okay I got over my tantrum Hollow Knight is fun again LOL

Y’all is Hollow Knight hard or do I just suck because oh my god??

[fuckedupcleric]

Okay no so hang on, this art got me thinking (isat spoilers ahead)

So if the party goes to the House without Siffrin, someone makes it to the King and gets attacked.

The death corridor normally kills Siffrin, but it only triggers if everyone believes it's safe. So, when they don't have Siff, the options are: the party makes it through that corridor while at least one person is feeling unsafe the entire time (doesn't really make sense since after remembering that it's the death corridor Mira doesn't walk forward at all while Siff and the others are trying to convince her that it's safe, meaning that the moment she DOES think it's safe enough to start walking, the rock would fall), they find the switch themselves while initially looking for traps (also unlikely unless Siff really DID do a terrible sloppy job the first time, which I find unlikely in such a high stakes situation where they're doing what they're supposed to be good at - I think they think to themselves that they did a sloppy job because their self-worth is just that low and that no one else would have found it either), the rock hits no one when it falls (unlikely, because even when I hugged the walls trying to go through the corridor without hitting the switch it still got me), or the rock kills at least one of them and misses at least Isa - BECAUSE (I would really need to play through the House again to know for sure but I think) the only one who ABSOLUTELY MUST survive that corridor in order for the party to progress to the King IS Isa, because only he knew about the mirror, which lets you get the smiling key that is required to keep advancing on floor 3. (Technically, you could argue that someone might eventually find the switch on the mirror without knowing, but I find that hard to believe when it isn't implied that the party takes significantly longer to make it to the King without Siff.) It is EXTREMELY unlikely that Isa could make it all the way to the King alone because of the fact that he only uses rock attacks and is incapable of learning other craft attacks and would have to use up tonics for healing (which are limited in supply), so it's very likely that either Odile OR Mira survive the death corridor along with Isa since they both know scissor and paper craft skills. I feel that Mira would be the one more likely to have survived the death corridor because of tear- and crest-related reasons (which I talk about more in a second) and since she's the only one who can heal and unfreeze allies in battle. They are all also very protective of Bonnie, making them walk in the back while traveling and stuff like that, so I think they would definitely not let Bonnie walk around alone in the death corridor, meaning that Bonnie would stay close to someone while they're in there. Since Isa and Mira likely survive, then either Odile is crushed or both Odile AND Bonnie are crushed by the rock and the surviving members must continue on after witnessing that.

Floor 2 has the key that's in the Head Housemaiden's office, which means they HAD to be thorough enough to find the key the first time they were in there. There's no other option for them to have progressed to the King.

Another challenge is the tears and crest situation on floor 3. Technically, the surviving party members could get very very lucky and guess which tears to use the floor 3 crest on correctly, but it's more likely that they would guess wrong and get stuck - in which case only Mira could advance since she's immune to the tears and could maybe, MAYBE, pass through them in order to keep advancing - meaning the others would either be dead, frozen, or left behind at this point.

Because of all these factors, I hc that Odile is crushed in the death corridor and that, unless they got unlucky and someone else died or was frozen by a tear on the way, Mira has to leave Isa and Bonnie behind to fight the King by herself - and she almost certainly dies trying to fight him alone, because she doesn't know the shield skill. So it's all for nothing.

[rin-and-jade]

Love-Me, Love-Me-Nots Daisy : A Guide on Navigating In-Sys Relationships

Romantic relationship, situationship, friendship, kinship, partnership.. There's way too much to list in just one sentence!

Here's a random fact for this topic; People say first impression is reliable to know of the other person, and surprisingly they're only 51% accurate when it's about judging wether a person is extroverted. But will you be able to judge better when it comes to your own alters as you technically live in the same headspace?

All that aside, this post will address inner relationships as a whole. Use this chance to see this topic outside of the romantic stereotype that we always see! (X-mas Activity included)

FAST PASS: Not available--this is an important occasion, read the full post!

What's a "relationship" with no romance, then?

according to this quote,

"a continuing and often committed association between two or more people, as in a family, friendship, marriage, partnership, or other interpersonal link in which the participants have some degree of influence on each other’s thoughts, feelings, and actions." - Merriam Webster

Basically, it means there's atleast two people committing with the connection they have formed with each other to qualify as a relationship, no matter the form.

When it comes to systems, it is up to themselves to see alters as separate people, or as different versions of itself,, the idea still can be applied here: as rebuilding the connection you lost/dissociated with your yet-to-be-integrated personalities/facets.

Being a system is a relationship already?!

Well--yeah!

But let me explain a bit here.

As a complex living being, our brain is made to adapt through tasks that requires multifaceted thinking. This would mean you would incorporate both logical and emotional thoughts, curious and cautious perspectives, and any behavioral or social habits or patterns you have learnt which all condenses into one singular conclusion or action that seems to be the best for a current situation--which is also dependent on how your thought processes work.

That is the basic depiction of integrated thinking to agree on a solution, but for systems--this is fragmented, leaving short-sighted solutions based on each facets, which bypasses the "filter" to integrate multiple ideas as one. Now, creating many different solutions or outcomes you could take, which is equal to the amount of alters actively participating on the discussion.

I... guess you're still confused, which is why i prepared this visual representation:

This should explain everything i had described beforehand. Now im not sure if the quality is the best..

So yes, as a complex being, you had already own different views which take skills to talk it out into one unified resolution.

Especially, if your different views you have can influence what actions, feelings, or reaction you get. That's your own emotional and mental dynamic when it comes to navigating your own map of thoughts. A literal relationship with the self..!

Eg. "I love this food! But i can't eat too much or else i'll feel sick" When you have a passion of food driven by emotional resonance, you still have a logical side that completes the thought to exact a reasoning without over-eating.

A.. Self Relationship..?

It's not a cringe thing at all. Trust. No cap.

There's literally a concept named self-care, which focuses on maintaining your health, emotional wellness, and enrichment in your life. Another term accepted widely by society is a self-date where you treat yourself similarly like a partner, focuses on practicing self love--this one would talk about how do you approach your different views (or alters, for systems), as a form of self regulation and processing.

To put this within context, you're a system, and, that means there are multiple parts of yourselves (or people) that are separated through dissociative barriers. This means you are disconnected with the majority of your multifaceted nature,, which also means you do not have a good relationship with yourself.

Simply put, this is where you learn to meet your needs again. As described from the hierarchy of needs by Maslow.

--

From a more general view, a negative relationship with yourself looks like:

A sense of distrust with your gut feelings

Unable to accept certain feelings or traits of your own

Self-blame/hate

Ignoring/neglecting your emotional and mental health

Unsure of your likes, dislikes, or favorite things

Not allowing yourself to be authentic (masking)

Operates in shame and focusing on failures

Not feeling you have worth or deserving of good things

Internal suppressing (notable for alter dynamics in systems)

System things that branch out from a negative relationship with yourself additionally appears as:

Fighting for front with different parts

Oftentimes arguing, playing down other's opinion

Feeling uncomfortable around headmates

Crippling sense of loneliness/disconnection amidst your alters

Things like shame, guilt, negative opinions of others, or poor treatment often shapes an unhealthy relationship with yourself.

The reason behind this is when your external environment is an enemy (eg. instead of supporting, you're being blamed) to you and your integrity, you may consciously or unconsciously pick up behaviors where you must abandon yourself to appease others and survive better, which means you have been taught to be an enemy of your own in order to live. Absolutely not nice.

Oh god. Can i ever break from this habit?

Ofcourse you can, but oftentimes your system are not in terms with some or most alters at the first place. It is normal to have a difficult or a conflicted dynamic within your other selves, and, you totally can shift this negative relationship with your own parts into a healthier and cooperative one!

It's better to take it nice and slow--i'll briefly show the steps on how to start demolishing this tensioned dynamic:

Inspire yourself with the idea of how working together would help in tackling difficult days.

Be aware of your negative thoughts or reactions when interacting with your parts, make sure that you don't act out on it. Also take this as a sign to un-learn some sabotaging or passive aggressive behaviors!

Help bringing awareness to the collective of their reactive behaviors, and reflect what can be done to increase better communication without conflict involved.

Parts often listen to their own egos--not caring about other alters and doing impulsive things while fronting. Bring clarity to how their actions impact the collective, and even themselves at the future. This would help foster more teamwork.

After some degree of awareness and cooperation has been established, do small acts of kindness for each other to strengthen the bond. This is also a good time to give roles and jobs, ensuring trust and that your back is covered.

The rest of this phase is up to you and how your natural dynamic and system works, good luck!

Waddya think of in-sys romance then..

We've briefed ourselves on what relationship constitutes as, and what does it mean generally to systems. Which means, In-sys partners and their romantic relationship is a valid (plural form) of fostering self love, akin to self-dates.

A good cooperation with your alters means a good relationship and terms with any alters you have--wether they have a purpose or not in your system. When it comes to internal romance situations, it focuses as a specific integration that your alters are going through. This will create a fusion between two or more headmates due to the dissociative barriers between them broke down.

It takes a long way to start loving yourself after years of internal disputes and conflict which perpetuates the high dissociation with each other, don't feel ashamed of it!

Are romantic relationships mandatory?

No they are not, but they are one of the most intimate, personal forms of self bonding. You still can heal and bond through cooperation and camaraderie, and everyone's styles are different, so let's not judge 'em.

Of course, romantic relationships within your system offers some pros that a normal comrade-dynamic cannot replicate:

Deeper understanding of your alters emotionally

Getting your love-needs met when you never received any proper care

Often faster to start integrating than a typical relationship

Another way to work around negative sense of worth and habits

Definitely, with some cons too:

Some alters are not compatible together, which creates friction

Unresolved habits or beliefs that blocks them from truly embracing love and care

Often frowned upon to have in-sys partners by communities, that prevents them from fully immersing in it

It brings up uncomfortable or painful truths or unresolved trauma, then to be faced and healed from

Not an extensive list, but you now got the idea. Use this list to prepare or broaden your knowledge on what romantic relationships look like!

Lastly. Did you also know that you can have parental dynamics in your system? it is similar to the romantic one, yet now driven with a different kind of love, just like a caretaker with their child parts. They are also important to heal, and feel safer after having trauma from younger times.

Takeaway & Together Activities

At the end of the day, no matter how many daisies you've plucked, a flower can't tell what's the answer to your internal relationships--romantically or not, for your system.

How do you see system dynamics differently now? There are many lessons packed in one posts that you could bring home. I definitely think that internal relationships are rarely discussed, so i gave it my all to create this entire topic, consisting of different system dynamics!

Lastly, internal relationships don’t need to be limited to serious work--they can also be fostered through shared joy and celebration! With Christmas approaching, here’s the five-day activity plan to build your bond together as i promised previously:

DAY 1

Reflect on how far you've all come. The year is coming to an end, what are the proudest moments or milestones of your system journey this year?

DAY 2

The day after reflection, what gratitude do you have for your alters? It's best to let them know you truly appreciate their work and efforts to keep things afloat before new years--let them know you feel supported by them, and willing to support them back!

DAY 3

Discuss how you would spend the whole day with others/your partner. Do you like outings? Watching movies? Or do you have multiple recommendations to do? Even if you are limited to night time only, go for it! You deserve a day to do the things you want.

DAY 4

There's one day left before the famous holiday, Take a moment to ponder on what you could get for others--if there's no money, consider a homemade gift like a memorial art, or letters,, make sure to keep them a secret before the day.

DAY 5

Don't forget to give each other's presents if you have prepared from the day before. Any consumables are also allowed to be bought on this day. Merry Christmas everyone!

On a personal note. This post took two weeks- augh-

- c

[mah-o-daryaa]

For a show that's progressive, one-of-a-kind, ground-breaking for its time, and relies on "Show, don't Tell" a lot throughout the series, it bugs me how ATLA (or, more specifically, Bryke) preferred to tell the audience that Aang is a master airbender without showing us why. I mean, Toph, Zuko, Azula, and Katara are all shown practicing and improving their mastery in bending (although Katara has become rather overpowered), so why can't Aang have the same treatment?

Yes, Aang may be a child prodigy, and he did get airbending tattoos from inventing the air scooter, but I personally think that inventing an airbending technique (which demonstrates impressive ability and skill) is a way to gain the arrows prematurely, but isn't a requirement. Nothing in the show ever suggests just how far he's mastered his native element, let alone the other three. In the beginning of Sozin's Comet, Part 1: The Phoenix King (3:18), Aang says he thinks he still needs to practice his firebending more (which in hindsight makes sense, as he's just started relearning it from the dragons five episodes ago), and Toph notes that his earthbending could use more work too. Right off the bat, Aang is two elements away from complete mastery of all four, but later on he's seen practicing waterbending with Katara, implying he hasn't mastered it either.

We don't even see Aang practicing his airbending by himself post-iceberg, preferring to show off to random girls (like in Kyoshi Island). He just learns the elements, but doesn't really learn the philosophies behind each element. In this regard, he makes Kuruk and Roku look venerated in contrast. (To be fair to Aang, he had a specific deadline to master the four elements before Sozin's Comet that no other Avatar besides Wan had to deal with, but couldn't he try to make an effort to learn from the other nations?) Additionally, compared to Tenzin and Zaheer, Aang doesn't stand a chance against either of them (even though Tenzin is his son, but since Tenzin wasn't the Avatar, he could focus on upholding the Air Nomad culture and legacy). Even Jinora could go toe-to-toe with him at similar ages. He isn't really that impressive in any of the elements, to be honest; we've seen what a master of any specific element can do in both ATLA and LOK, as well as in the novels.

The main thing people often get wrong is that mastery isn't a final goal; it's a specific mindset. As in Pai Sho, what separates true masters from everyone else is that true masters always look for improvement in their strategy or skills. That's why Aang isn't a real master of the four elements: He always takes the easy way out, never trying to better himself or improve what he can already do.

I think this quote from Zaheer perfectly sums up what I've been saying: When you base your expectations on what you see, you blind yourself to the possibilities of a new reality. Even though it stems from his anarchist beliefs, it is genuinely one of the more insightful pieces of wisdom in the franchise because it promotes progress, a constant theme in life. Toph was able to invent metalbending because she wanted to "see" a reality where she could be recognized for her own talent in spite of her blindness; Zuko could learn firebending from the dragons because he could see a reality where he would regain his honor and fight alongside the Avatar, and so on. By contrast, Aang only takes things from surface-level, not putting any effort into understanding the true meaning of being the Avatar.

Speaking of Pai Sho, guess which Avatar constantly improved his/her abilities? Kuruk. Unlike Aang, Kuruk readily asked his companions, Jianzhu, Hei-Ran, and Kelsang, to continue teaching him, ever after he mastered the four elements that he was required to do, saying they would all benefit from the experience (the "true master" quote I mentioned above was actually said by him). Not only that, it was even inverted; sometimes they taught Kuruk, other times he taught them (which technically makes him the first known Avatar to teach bending to others). He was right, as during their lifetimes, they were the most powerful benders of their respective elements in the world!

Kuruk also had an intuitive connection to each of the four bending philosophies, which to this day remains unrivaled by any other Avatar, and was also one of the first people to suggest the idea that the four elements are connected (homeboy's literally a younger Water Tribe Avatar version of proto-Iroh, I'm honestly not going to be surprised if Iroh actually learned his belief from Kuruk during the former's visits to the Spirit World over tea and Pai Sho matches). If you ask me, Mone, learning the cultures and philosophies of the four nations is way more important than mastering the four elements, because the Avatar isn't just the bridge between the four nations; he/she is also the symbol of a unified world, and the franchise is saying that only one Avatar even bothered to do that? In my opinion, if we go by this rule, that easily cements Kuruk as the greatest Avatar in history!

Aang, on the other hand, never does this. Instead, he puts the Air Nomads on a high pedestal (which in turn causes him to place Katara on a high pedestal), and doesn't respect or learn from other nations' philosophies. He openly disrespects SWT culture and actively makes sure Tenzin doesn't have any exposure to the culture that Tenzin still belongs too, and worse, he pushes his own culture on other people's throats (remember the time he forced a homeless couple to "give up on hope because it's a big waste of time"? Or the time he forced Katara to not murder Yon Rha?) and values his own nation and values above the rest of the world (like the time he refused to kill Firelord Ozai because "all life is sacred", even though he has actually killed before, but if he doesn't kill Ozai, the latter's going to burn the entire Earth Kingdom to the ground!). That doesn't sound like something the Avatar is allowed to do, but Aang gets away with it anyway because ... hero?

There's actually another Avatar who focused on his/her own nation above the rest of the world. Avatar Szeto, Yangchen's predecessor, became a government official in his homeland, the Fire Nation. Under his tenure, the Fire Nation transformed from a fragmented, disaster-stricken state to the centralized, technologically-advanced nation we know of today. Unfortunately, this led him to neglect the other nations and, shortly after his death, the four nations were caught in a political event known as the Platinum Affair, which Yangchen had to deal with, eventually kick-starting the cycle of the current Avatar fixing their past lives' mistakes, while leaving problems for their future selves to fix. This problem might have even led to the growing ambition of Firelords Zoryu and Sozin as dictators, with the latter starting the Hundred Years War.

Aang not only valued his own nation's values above the others, he also forced said values on his non-Air Nomad companions; signed anti-miscegenation laws and tried to forcefully deport Fire Nationals from the colonies to return the land to the Earth Kingdom, even though they had already blended in with Earth Kingdom citizens, didn't wan to be separated from their families, and Zuko perceived the citizens of mixed heritage as his own subjects; refused to let his family practice SWT culture, even though his children could benefit from being members of both cultures, not just one or the other, and set an example for mixed-race families around the world; refused to teach Kya and Bumi Air Nomad culture because he thought they weren't airbenders and therefore "not real Air Nomads", even though they were just as Air Nomad as Tenzin was, if not more; and forced Tenzin to uphold the legacy of an entire nation on his shoulders. The fact that this was all written by complete accident is the cherry on top, representing just how badly Bryke screwed up.

... On a completely unrelated note, The Other Side of Paradise by Glass Animals (which is also one of my favorite songs) is definitely a Kuruk song. The last third of the song in particular sums up his tragic journey as the Avatar so well, and I always think of him while listening to it.

[homestuckreplay]

Mommy Issues: The Flash Game

(p.388-390)

Page 388 is our first interactive Rose page! I guess p.138 could technically count, but it's the first where we can see her! It's also an iteration on p.90, where John Strifes with his dad. I've been looking at these pages side by side (yes, with the music layered on top of each other), and the animation in Rose's page is both longer and more complex. Even the idle animation - what's happening when you don't click any buttons - has more going on, with Rose doing two separate youth rolls and Rose's mom reacting to attacks, interestingly even when Rose isn't doing anything. Perhaps she is very used to this

We then have four options to choose, compared to John's two. They follow a pattern - the more attack-based moves (shown in Sburb green) begin with AG (Aggress and Aggrieve) - the new one, Aggrieve, is also the name of Rose's theme music that she plays on the violin (p.222) and gets featured here. The more defensive moves (shown in blue) begin with AB (Abjure and Abstain). These are actually Latin word roots, with 'ag-' meaning 'to' or 'towards', and 'ab-' meaning 'away' or 'from'. In the internet age where it's very easy to look up definitions and origins of words, I love that Homestuck is linguistically dense like this, and it doesn't stop it from being accessible to people who are younger or don't have advanced educations.

brief discussion of each of the four options below the cut!

So, these options! 'Aggrieve' is Rose's attack with knitting needles (her kind abstrata) just like John's 'Aggrieve' was a hammer attack - and in both cases, the opponent parries with their own weapon. John's dad almost certainly uses cakekind, while Rose's mom uses... boozekind? beveragekind? martinikind? which gives her incredible possibility for molotov cocktails if she was ever facing down a more formidable foe. It's again a more complex animation than John's, which I think speaks both to Hussie gaining confidence with the flash medium, and to Rose being more experienced with using the knitting needles and with fighting her mom - we learn on the next page that this is a 'daily quota' for Rose's mom.

'Aggress' appropriately becomes 'Passive-Aggress' when we try to select this option. Rose sticks her knitting needles into the broken power socket above the bronzed vacuum cleaner and attempts an 'empty suicide threat' which is some very strong imagery, and honestly a way more manipulative gesture than just passive aggression. We don't see a reaction from Mom, which implies again that this is a daily occurrence, and emphasizes more than anything else so far (in my opinion) just how unhealthy this relationship is. If your kid is making suicide threats, even if what they're trying wouldn't work, even if you think it's "for attention," you should get them some help. What I'm saying is that Rose needs a tentacle therapist of her own.

'Abjure' results in a Guardian Rubric, which for John's dad was 'coddlebrand'. This is from 'coddle' - 'to treat indulgently,' and 'brand' - 'to burn a mark upon with a hot iron', which is really evocative of how John reacts to his dad's coddling, and I think shows us that we're still seeing the fight from John's perspective, even though his dad is the primary actor. In the same way, Mom's Guardian Rubric is 'ironic indulgence', because Rose interprets all her mom's actions as ironic, whether or not that's her mom's intent.

Rose's mom gives her a beautiful pony. Like. For no reason. She brings a living animal into the house, one that requires a lot of skilled care and attention. And it's just a gift she gives her daughter on a whim on a random Monday. I think this shows Mom as a negligent parent far more clearly than any of Rose's words do. If Mom has bought a pony presumably without setting up a stable or learning how to take care of one, it's easy to believe she did the same with Rose - deciding to have or keep a child without understanding how much work went into that, or being willing to learn.

Rose is as resistant to the pony as John was to the cake, but in both cases, they eventually accept the gift. John does this reluctantly because he sees this as the only way to end the strife, while Rose does this after the strife is already over. She creates an illusion of reluctance, but the heart above her head on p.390 suggests that she actually likes this creature. I think Rose is an animal lover in general, someone who'd describe herself as liking animals but not people. She obviously loved her childhood cat a lot and likes this pony too, but overall finds it much easier to acknowledge liking a creature if it's not something typically thought of as 'cute', such as Fluthlu.

Ponies are most commonly an interest of young girls, and the addition of a pink heart and bow make this a very traditionally feminine gift. The same is true of the Pretty Princess Doll on the couch. I think Rose knitting the princess doll an eldritch head and arms is very queer coded, as she twists typical femininity into something less societally approved. I can't wait to see if she does something similar with the pony, maybe swapping out her pink ribbon for something darker and spookier.

The final option is 'Abstain,' another Guardian Rubric. This one is 'ironic negligence,' where Rose's mom offers her the martini to drink and Rose parries with a bottle of water, and as discussed above I don't think it is ironic. I was wrong in an earlier post where I guessed that alcohol was off limits to Rose. It looks like she's been offered alcohol, maybe often, and has responded by being Extremely Straightedge. Maybe she only drinks water and won't even touch kid-appropriate drinks like juice and soda. I think it's not uncommon for children of heavy drinkers to make an effort to not fall into those same patterns, and I also think that Rose intentionally tries to have opposite opinions and behaviors to her mom (even while she's not always successful) and the combination of these two things easily lend themselves to a hardcore water drinker.

Just like in John's Strife, we get to choose which options to click, in what order, and how many times, but we can't win the fight for them. John as the main character had to do that for himself (with some help from the player). In Rose's case, there's no win condition at all and no real goal for either of them. They fight for a while, and then it ends, and they return to their previous activities - Mom doing very real and unironic housework, and Rose leaving the house angrily. John and his dad had conflicting goals they were trying to achieve, but Rose and her mom were fighting for sport because this is a primary way they know how to interact - something to keep in mind for both relationships.

I like seeing the animation get more advanced in Rose's strife - it gets me really excited for something similar with Dave and GG - but honestly nothing in this page beats the sick ass moment where Dad clicks on the lighter and then the music starts playing at the moment all the candles catch fire.

[voltaspistol]

As we've reported previously, despite holding executive roles in multiple major corporations and undertaking the busy work of burrowing himself in incoming political regimes, Elon Musk manages to find time to boast some impressive gaming laurels, claiming to hold high placements in Diablo 4 leaderboards and Path of Exile 2 hardcore league rankings. This week, those claims are being called into doubt, as PoE 2 streamers and subreddit sleuths analyze a recent stream in which Musk seemed to fumble over basic gameplay mechanics.

On January 7, Musk streamed an hour and a half of Path of Exile 2 gameplay on his current level 95 hardcore character. In PoE 2, surviving into higher levels in the hardcore league, regardless of ladder placement, is an impressive feat: As you progress, the game stacks layers of enemy modifiers, damage resistance reductions, and hazardous tileset modifiers, and dying once in hardcore means your character is toast. Getting a hardcore character into the 80s is impressive; getting one high enough into the 90s to place high on the hardcore ladder is a feat of skilled gameplay and buildcraft.

The gameplay on display in viewer-recorded VODs of the stream, however, is… well, not that.

Odd signs begin appearing as early as 18 minutes into the stream, when Musk enters his character's stash to reveal a tab that's been named "Elon's map." Considering the other tabs aren't labeled "Elon's currency" or "Elon's catalysts," the tab sticks out. Someone of a conspiratorial persuasion might see it as an indicator that, perhaps, another individual had curated the tab's selection of map-generating waystones for ease of gameplay—like if you wanted to be able to show off your high level character without a real risk of getting it killed.

But maybe it was just a fun little way for Musk to brighten up his own day. Who can say what affectations delight the hyper-wealthy?

Things spiral from there. Musk's clearspeed is halting. His movement, at times, seems random. At one point, his damage plummets as he goes a full 10 seconds without refilling his empty mana meter. Elsewhere, he leaves valuable currency items like Chaos Orbs and Exalted Orbs uncollected on the ground, but picks up low tier keystones that would be irrelevant at his character's level of progression.

At times, Musk clicks impotently at nodes on his Atlas map, seemingly struggling to identify which he can actually run despite having theoretically cleared the hundreds—if not thousands—of maps necessary for his character's level and gear. Later, when weighing which map to clear next, he selects a node with four modifiers. "There are four things here," he notes, which technically isn't untrue.

He enters maps with a full inventory, then repeatedly attempts to pick up items without inventory space. He doesn't have a loot filter active, but can be seen clicking and dragging items into his inventory—a maddening display that would imply he'd have manually sorted through thousands of dropped items to assemble his character's equipment, which could very well have taken longer than the actual gameplay necessary to reach his current level.

This is all, supposedly, from a player who at time of writing has been able to outpace all but 11 people on the global PoE 2 hardcore ladder. Still, it could've been performance anxiety. Even the wealthiest man alive can get a bit nervy when streaming for the peasantry, I guess.

What's most damning, however, is that Musk seems to show a fundamental misunderstanding of how itemization in Path of Exile 2 works. Late in the stream, he looks over his current equipment. Inspecting his weapon, he says it's "only level 62" compared to his level 95 character. In doing so, he's seemingly unaware that in PoE, an item's effectiveness isn't determined by its level requirement, but by its item level—a separate figure that determines which affixes the item can roll with.

He repeats the mistake as he mouses over each item he has equipped. "My equipment's pretty low level compared to my character level, but it seems to work pretty well," he says, even though it's all high-end gear that's been meticulously collected, crafted, and rerolled to maximize his character's build. It's a misapprehension that, frankly speaking, strains belief.

For players on the PoE 2 subreddit, the stream intensifies the doubt already surrounding Musk's ownership of his account. "His gear is better than a lot of full time streamers. No way it is real. Account sharing or boost of some kind," redditor InvestmentFew9366 said.

"I mean he has a f'in mirror tier staff and says he needs to replace it because it's only level 62," said redditor frenchpatato. "You don't need to say anything else."

"The wierd [sic] part to me is that he feels he needs to brag about being a pro gamer for some reason," Elbjornbjorn said. "Dude put a car his company designed into space on a rocket his other company designed, why the hell does he need to brag about gaming?"

[xiaq]

(this can be answered publicly) Hey X, pardon me if you’ve answered this before, but I was just curious on how you ended up transitioning from academia to tech and what role you started with in tech? Also, so you have any advice for someone looking to break into tech from a non-STEM background? Thank you!

Hey! I haven't answered it publicly but it's a popular question, so I will now (warning, long answer is long).

So I was so fed up with academia for sundry reasons I won't get into here but I wanted a career that would allow me to A. retire some day (something that paid generally well), B. would allow me some measure of work/life balance without high stress, and C. Would ideally let me use my communication/writing/speaking/presenting skills in some way.

My parents and my partner all work in tech and were like, "did you know that we desperately need people with your skillsets in the tech world?" and my partner, who works in technical sales was like, "You would kill at my job, I am not lying." And I was like, every job listing in technical sales that I see requires either a degree I don't have or past experience I don't have, or both, and my mother was like "Do you know how many mediocre resumes from unqualified men come across my desk? Apply for the damn positions anyway." So I reworked my resume to focus on applicable skills/experiences and wrote a cover letter for each position I applied to saying "hey, I know I'm an odd candidate but let me tell you why that's a good thing." And I got a lot of positive responses!

I was interviewing at 2 different tech places when I accepted the offer for my job now. I had an initial screening call interview with HR, then a zoom interview with the hiring manager, and then I was given access to a limited demo environment and had a week to teach myself the software and put together a demo for a fake customer which I did for the hiring manager (my future boss), one of my current peers, and the VP of the org. I was offered the job the same night I did my fake demo. So in total it was a 2 week interview process, and I started working 2 weeks later. **

I'm a pre-sales solutions consultant, which basically means I'm paired with a sales guy who does all the money and business value talk with customers, while I get to learn about a customer's data problems and then demo for them how our products can address those problems.

The learning curve was (and still is) steep. But it was basically like going back to school, and I've always loved learning new things. The job is super fun. It fulfills all of my wants I listed above with the added bonus of being completely remote (aside from occasional travel to meet with customers for in-person demos). The people I work with are supportive, management is communicative and constantly giving me feedback/talking about my trajectory. I've won internal awards, already received two raises and one promotion and I haven't even been there a year. I'm making more than double what I did as a professor and the concept of retirement doesn't feel like a laughable pipe dream anymore. I miss teaching a lot, but I'm healthier, happier, and better prepared for the future now. And my work is genuinely fulfiling because I'm showing people how they can fix problems. Also, playing with data management software and putting together custom demos is neat. It's like all the best parts of a college project--research, making a preso, knocking everyone's socks off while giving the preso, but I'm getting paid for it. I'm glad I followed my mom's advice.

So I guess my advice is the same as hers: even if you're not "qualified," apply for the position anyway. Make custom cover letters for each position and if there's not a way to include the letter with the app, do some googling and find the hiring manager on LinkedIn and message/email them. The person who hired me said that my cover letter was what got me the initial interview. So that shit works. If you have friends or family working somewhere with open positions, use those connections. Having an internal referral will go a long way to getting your resume looked at. I know we're all like, boo nepo babies, but networking is a huge part of any industry. Use it to your advantage if you have the advantage (no, I'm not working for my parent's companies, but if there'd been an open position I was interested in, I would have applied for it. No shame).

**I also, on the side, applied for the Austin Fire Department because why not. After a whole lot of mental and physical prep, I was accepted to the academy (in the first class, no less, holla) right before I was offered my current job. But I had to be realistic and say that probably wasn't a good long-term career option for someone who is 110lbs and was barely meeting the physical testing requirements who also has issues with getting overwhelmed in high-input sensory situations. So. Into the tech world I went. This side note just to say, I was keeping my options very open and there's nothing wrong with that either, lol.

I hope this helps!

[den-ai-d]

Ooof...a decade on this site eh?

Oh no, story time incoming!

10 years and yeah, so much has happened already. Originally, I made this blog back when I was in high school as a place to post my drawings; back then, it was all just pencil drawings on paper. Looking at them now...well it was obvious I still had a long way ahead of me LOL. And to think some people assume that everyone skilled enough in art must have had some innate talent for it. CLEARLY, they don't know what they're talking about because I was terrible at it early on!

But I mean, I didn't really think that of my art, did I?

No. In fact, I'm pretty sure that kid me was very much impressed with his own works. See, that child had a very bloated ego and a high opinion of himself. You should ask his poor friends; I'm sure they'd agree that the bugger could take a few lessons on humility with how he'd be sharing all of his silly sketches to them and pontificating on and on about how nice he thinks they are. Yeah, I was an insufferable kid.

But I do think that overinflated ego of mine turned out beneficial for my growth as an artist because without it—without my love for my own art—I wouldn't have stuck to it.

And stuck to it I did.

Went to college soon after that and took a program majoring in biology. Not much of a surprising choice since I've always liked the sciences and figured it would later on give way to a stable career; funnily enough, while I was very passionate about making art, I never thought it would be a profitable source of income. But that didn't mean I'd stop doing it on my free time though! Actually, this was when I got myself my first tablet! And what better way to start my digital drawing experience than to buy a FUCKING EXPENSIVE cintiq!!! With the extra motivation coming from the monetary pressure of such a purchase, you bet your ass I used the hell out of that thing. I was so intent on making use of it that—would you look at that—I still use it to this day! (Wow, they really made those old wacom tablets to last, didn't they?)

Obviously, college work ended up taking a lot of my time so I couldn't really draw as much as I did a few years ago. There were even times when I could only make one painting throughout a whole month; a far cry to my previous output. But even so, I never wavered in thinking that making art—being an artist—was something that was part of my identity; it was something that I always will come back to, no matter how much busy I got contending with course work.

And speaking of which, fuck that! Got my first honest-to-goodness mental breakdown because of all the studying I was doing at one point. See, I'm the type of student that likes getting good grades because BIG NUMBERS so I made it a point to be studious. To the point of insanity, apparently.

Anyway, I got better eventually and it all turned out nice. Even snagged all the awards I could've gotten for my thesis by the end of it! Yes, I am bragging. I deserve it, thank you very much! (For anyone curious, it was a study about plant pigments and using them in solar cells).

After that debacle, I found myself whisked into Adulthood which meant I finally had to find a job. Guess I was lucky since I didn't really have much of a hard experience searching for one. Got accepted into a cosmetics company for a lab position. Hmm, in hindsight, I think they just wanted a fresh graduate who wouldn't demand a high salary and that was me so I got in pretty easily. And honestly, the work was AWESOME. My job ended up with me coming up with formulas for new products. I got to make lotions, shampoos, soaps (ugh, I hated that one), perfumes, toners, balms, scented candles, and—oddly enough that one time—glue! It was a wonderful experience for me since it blended my interest in science and art with how it required me to think of creative ways of applying technical solutions in order to make products that needed to look, feel, smell, and perform a certain way.

As a bonus, I even got to make stuff for myself! I was particularly fond of making creams with menthol. The soothing chill on the skin is just so nice!

It wasn't all good though. I mean the menthol was fine and dandy, I assure you, but even if I was enjoying myself with the work, it just so happens that it just wasn't giving me enough money to provide for the family. Also, there was that one time I splashed chili oil on my eye. A very eye-opening and spicy turn of events to be sure.

With the bills stressing the hell out of me, I then thought to myself: if only I had a marketable skill that I could use in my off time as a way of engaging with a hobby whilst earning money.

Yup, I started my singing career!

LOL no. I opened art commissions for the first time!

It was a very scary experience, mind you. I don't consider myself a social butterfly and the prospect of talking with other people in a transactional context was a big reason why I haven't even considered doing it all this time. Turns out being poor and running out of money outweighed such concerns. Also, my keeping up with art and posting them online all these years seemed to have payed off well; my twitter having then recently crossed over a thousand followers which meant I had a decent pool of potential clients!

And so I bumbled through my first few commissions trying to appear professional and all put together in front of my clients while consistently shitting myself on the inside. Just like all well-functioning adults!

It was October last year when I started. I figured that I wouldn't have much in way of commissioners—what with being new to the business—and that was fine since I didn't have much time to put on them anyways since I did still had to go to work on my day job. What mattered was that it gave me enough of a financial buffer so that I didn't have to worry too much about going under.

This continued to the turn of the year where I was able to juggle both my job and doing commission without much of a hassle. In fact, I noticed that people were actually really interested in getting commissions from me. So much that at one point...I actually made more money in a month than what I would've with my monthly salary! At that point, it was so over! Like, I originally was planning to at least observe how things went within this year and then decide after if I would just keep it as a side gig or go full-time with art. Turns out I was much more impulsive than I expected.

It was on a bright sunny February morning (no cinematic storm clouds in sight, unfortunately) that I decided on a lark to approach my boss at work and tell them that yup, no joke, I was gonna be leaving. I handed my resignation letter a few days later.

I would've liked to say that it was a tearful goodbye with my cherished co-workers whom I've spent the last five years of my life with but...COME ON, I barely talked with those people! Instead, it was a lukewarm farewell between people who just happened to work in proximity to each other. Eh, like I said, I wasn't much of a social butterfly and no one really made an effort to get to know me so oh well. MOVING ON!

Actually, I couldn't just up and leave because there are laws around these kinds of things so I worked there for another month but all that was a blur. Soon enough, I was officially unemployed!

So like I mentioned earlier, I full on did not expect doing art as something that would bring in much in way of income. My parents too thought the same. They said that yeah, art was a good hobby but as job? Let's be serious here! Well, turns out we were wrong all this time. With me fully dedicated to commission work, I was able to take on a larger volume of clients. Not as many as some of you go for (I'm looking at you, people who take ten or more commissions per batch, you monsters!) but enough that I was actually making a stable living! And yeah, WAY more than my now previous job. What an absolute shock to everyone involved; me most of all.

Now it's almost the end of the year, my plans having all but shattered into tiny pieces. Tiny pieces that scatter with the wind as I look back on the past ten years that has led me to where I am today. A lot of time has passed. I graduated high school, college, then got a job. Then graduated from that too. Certain people have come and gone. Some more permanent than others. I've lost friends and made new ones. Tumblr got fucked. Twitter got fucked. The world stopped for two years. For some, it's still stuck in those two years. I made glue in a lab. Almost lost an eye in a lab. I bought chips with my very own money for the first time. I loved people. Hated them too. Things have happened. Things have changed.

I certainly am very different from that kid who was having troubles fitting in with others from his class, what with being bullied and suffering through a particularly angsty teenage (oh my god I was CRINGE). A kid who often sought drawing as an escape to all of those terrible things out of his control.

I guess I'm happy I can still relate to that kid.

[bisexual-in-every-gender]

Survey

What are three names you like that start with the same letter as your first name?

Amalia, Annika, Anjali

How old will you turn on your next birthday?

33 :/

What are three things you like about your birth month (besides it being the month your birthday is in)?

It's usually warm and sunny but not too blazing, it's Pride month and everything looks gay

And what are three things you dislike about it?

Sometimes it rains, I get older and it's the month we have a big work event every year

List three celebrities that are the same height as you.

Danny de Vito, Melissa Rauch, Judy Garland

Are you happy with your height or do you wish you were taller/shorter?

Taller. Much, much taller.

Which family member did you inherit your hair colour from?

My dad.

List three things in nature that are the same colour as your eyes.

Moss, fir trees, algae

What was your favourite class in high school?

English and Arts

How many sisters do you have?

Two.

How many brothers do you have?

Zero.

If you had a twin sister, what would she be named?

Salome? That's the name I was almost given.

How many dogs did you have in your lifetime?

One (Luna) for a very short amount of time. We only had her for three months, then we had to give her back to the shelter, unfortunately. She was sold to us as a "family dog", but she had been severely abused and re-building her trust in people would have required an expert's knowledge, not that of a first-time dog owner, and time that I as a full-time employee did not have. In the end, it was better for her to find someone better suited to her needs.

How many cats have you had in your lifetime?

Two: Kaveri (bless his little heart, he is now in his final resting place 💔) and our current cat Bertha

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

I like both, but cats flock to me naturally.

Where was your dad born?

Berlin, Germany.

Where was your mum born?

Berlin, Germany.

Where were you born?

Three guesses.... Berlin, Germany.

Have you ever met anyone unrelated to you with the same surname as you?

No, but it's common, so I'm sure I will at one point in my life.

How many sisters-in-laws do you have?

Technically 5, but Izzy only grew up with two of them. The other 3 are her half sisters.

How many brothers-in-laws do you have?

Two

How many nieces do you have?

Technically 7. My own sister has three daughters to whom I'm not allowed contact, my sister-in-law has twin daughters and one of Izzy's half sisters got two daughters as well, but Izzy's got no contact to said half sister. So I only really know two of my nieces

How many nephews do you have?

6. One of my sisters-in-law has a son, the other has two. Then Izzy's half sister to whom she has no contact has two sons and my brother-in-law who Izzy also cut off due to transphobic behaviour has a son as well.

How many of your grandparents are still living?

One.

What are three things you have been complimented on?

My organisational skills, my intellect and my humour

What is your dream job?

Probably an employee in a cat cafe or something.

Do you consider yourself religious?

I believe in God, but I wouldn't call myself religious.

When was the last time you stepped foot into a Church?

A good few years ago. I have a complicated relationship to the Church and like to separate it from my faith.

Do you regularly attend a Church? Why or why not?

I used to. I grew up very religious, going to Church was normal for me. However, it's a breeding ground for abusers. I was sexually and emotionally abused by Church members of different Churches and different affiliations, which made me lose hope in the Church as an institution. I still believe in God, but I am of the opinion that you can live your faith without attending Church.

Have you ever been to a mosque?

No.

Have you ever been to a synagogue?

No.

What is your favourite religious holiday?

Christmas.

If applicable, does your faith mean a lot to you?

It does, but I don't try and convert people. I also stopped believing in the kind of God that is spoken about by so-called Christians. I have read the Bible three times and attended Bible studies, so I know the historical context of the Scriptures and know that the reason a lot of the rules in the Bible exists is because it served a purpose at that time, especially hygienic reasons. Also, that book was written over 1,000 years ago by cishet men who couldn't imagine homosexual people even being a thing. And also, Jesus never mentioned gay people. At all. That was Paul, and he hated women, too. Don't listen to that misogynistic prick. In other words, yes, my faith means a lot to me personally, but I practice it within the confines of its historical and logical context.

Do you have the same worldview as your parents?

Absolutely not. They're creationists and while they accept me being queer, they think it wasn't intended for me to be so and that originally, God had other plans for me. We butt heads over it a lot.

Have you ever attended a Christian school?

Yes, twice. Though with all the bullying taking place there, you'd hardly know it.

Have you ever been baptised and if so, when or where?

Yes, when I was 14 in a big pool at my Church.

Are you happy with the current state of your nation?

No, Germany is becoming more and more right-wing and xenophobic, so as a queer person, it definitely worries me.

How many different medications do you take each day?

Three: Blood pressure pill, diabetes prevention and antidepressant

Which medication do you hate the most and why?

I'm frustrated I'm reliant on antidepressants, they also reduce my fertility which is already a problem and they sometimes give me auditory hallucinations.

Is your current doctor male or female?

Female.

Do you prefer male or female doctors? Why?

Male, just because female doctors often include me in this "us women" speak, which gives me dysphoria.

How is your mental health?

F***ed. I suffer chronic depression and anxiety disorder and lately, I've felt more burnt out than usual.

[coconurt]

Rottmnt Cassandra Writing Ref

So this is basically just a compendium of all of Cass's lines slapped into one place for me and @owlfacenightkit to use for reference cuz she's hard af to write lol

Quotes under the cut:

Hot Soup: The Game

Lieutenant: You have shown great skill as a new recruit of the Foot Clan. Your final test is a mission you must complete entirely on your own.

Cassandra: Excellent. What enemy of our clan am I to CRUSH BETWEEN MY FISTS?

Brute: No crushing. You are here to retrieve a mysterious artifact that was said to be in the possession of action film star Lou Jitsu.

Lieutenant: He was the best!

Brute: Oh yeah! Jitsu For Justice, that’s my favorite. It’s the movie that got me interested in crime.

Lieutenant: Ooh and Punch Chowder, he defeats an entire organized crime mob using clam shells as his only weapons.

Both: Hop soup!

Cassandra: Hai, Senseis. I will study these important motion pictures.

Brute: Anyhoo, you are to enter the auction house and retrieve any Lou Jitsu merchandise.

Cassandra: I will tear this place asunder until I find every Lou Jitsu item within its walls!

Lieutenant: Okay okay okay. Love the intensity, but let’s just go stealth. No muss, no fuss.

Cassandra: Foot CLAN!

Lieutenant: Somebody had her coffee.

…

Cassandra: Who are you? What are you doing here?

Mikey: I’m a customer, here to pick up my Lou Jitsu video game.

Cassandra: Lou... Jitsu?

Mikey: Are you narrowing your eyes because you like Lou Jitsu?

Cassandra: LOU JITSUU...! Yes Punch Chowder is my favorite motion picture film movie.

Mikey: Okay. Well then... What the?

Cassandra: I shall return. Stay here and do nothing.

Lieutenant: Recruit, what’s wrong?

Cassandra: There’s someone here. A talking turtle. And he is asking about Lou Jitsu merchandise.

Lieutenant: Those turtles again? They must be after the artifact, too.

Brute: Oh yeah, you’re gonna need help. We’ll be right over-

Lieutenant: No. You know the rules. To pass, she must complete her mission by herself.

Cassandra: Senseis, permission to vanquish his soul to the depths of oblivion?

Brute: Yeah sure.

…

Mikey: Hey, what’s the big idea?

Cassandra: An enemy of the Foot must perish. You will not claim the artifact!

Mikey: But I have a receipt! Is this how you normally treat customers? Ow! Cause if it is I’d like to speak to your supervisor! I’m not paying for that! Hey, it’s my game. You’re getting that soup, Lou baby. Solo mission complete.

Cassandra: Lou Jitsu. The artifact... GIVE IT TO ME!

Mikey: I said I own it fair and square.

…

Mikey: Yes Raph, I’m fine. I got everything under control!

Cassandra: I have the artifact! And you won't leave until I smash your shell into powder!

…

Cassandra: You can't hit me!

…

Cassandra: Knife throw!

…

Brute: Hello you. How’s everything going?

Cassandra: It’s under control. I’LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE! You’re finished, turtle scum!

…

Cassandra: Ha! Solo mission complete.

Brute: We’re here to rescue you.

Cassandra: NO! I had it in my hands. I was literally ready to leave. What part of "by myself" don’t you understand?

…

Lieutenant: Wait a minute? That is not the artifact we seek.

Cassandra: It’s the only Lou Jitsu thing here.

Lieutenant: Well then your mission is a bust... on a technicality of course. But don’t be discouraged. The road to success is paved with miles of failure.

Cassandra: I shall prove I am worthy next time!

Operation: Normal

April: Again? Come on, Leo. Ruining my normal day and laser tag? Laser tag is sacred.

Cassandra: Beyond sacred. How could you?

...

[Brute lands on top of Cassandra]

Cassandra: I shall require medical attention...

...

Brute: The dark armor is almost complete.

Cassandra: We are one step closer to its dark power. SO DARK! So powerful...

Sparring Partner

Cassandra: A pressing development sensei!

Lieutenant: Let me guess. You want to smash and/or demolish something?

Cassandra: No! I mean okay if you insist! I have spotted one of our origami soldiers loose in the city.

Lieutenant: What was he doing out there alone?

Cassandra: Attacking! May I join him in wiping out peasants one speck at a time?

…

Cassandra: Don't make us pulverize your guts into gut bits. Give us back our origami man!

Raph: Of course he was yours, but now he seems more like a free agent, so you can just go home. Thanks though!

Cassandra: We will do nothing of the sort, you are so not reading our tone.

…

Raph: He's my new best friend, and if anyone wants to take away my buddy, they gotta come through me.

Cassandra: Touching! And in case you couldn't tell, that was sarcasm!

Lieutenant: We could never let you keep him! Shred him, recruit!

Cassandra: My extreme pleasure.

How to Make Enemies and Bend People to Your Will

Draxum: Pure insanity.

Cassandra: Yes. I can’t believe they promoted Jocelyn over me. I know her parents are big donors, but come on!

…

Draxum: What is this place? Are we here to reign waste to these pathetic humans?

Cassandra: No. We’re here to get coffee for the entire Foot Clan. And a vegan coconut scone for the boss.

Draxum: Draxum is no errand boy.

Cassandra: To become a full member of the foot, one must show commitment, and patience. I have been training since I was seven!

Draxum: Madness! Baron Draxum takes what he needs now!

Cassandra: I have been doing this all wrong.

Draxum: Indeed. Waiting is for fools.

…

Brute: We’re putting you on Strike Squad Special Force Delta.

Cassandra: I was born for Strike Squad Special Force Delta. I shall CLEAVE OUR FOES IN TWAIN!

Lieutenant: Okay okay, love the enthusiasm, but actually your assignment is....

[scene wipe]

Cassandra: Lookout support duty. We’re the lookouts for the lookouts?

Draxum: This is beneath us both.

Cassandra: You know, I was accepted to every clan I applied to.

Draxum: With my powers, I could be in charge of this clan. Surely there must be some way to take control from them.

Cassandra: Hah, unlikely. According to our laws, one can only take control of the Foot Clan by succeeding where the leaders have failed. And my senseis do not fail.

Draxum: We shall see.

…

Draxum: What’s going on there?

Cassandra: Hai. I will alert the lookouts. CAW! CAW!

Draxum: Stop that! If we want to improve our ranks, we must handle this ourselves.

The turtles: Smell it smell it smell it!

Draxum: What are they doing?

Cassandra: No doubt a cunning plan to disrupt our mission to get the dark armor?

…

Cassandra: This must be a trap. But if there’s one thing I learned from you, it’s that we get nothing from waiting! FOOT CLAN! Vermin, prepare to taste my wrath.

Cassandra: [coughs] This… was… a... trap...

Leo: No. That was all you.

Mikey: Wow. She went all in on the stink. Nice work, frenemy.

Cassandra: YAAHH!!

…

Lieutenant: Get them!

Cassandra: I will grind you into fertilizer!

Harold: The corpse flower! Protect the begonias. I’ll go save Jewel! This is what you've been training for, Harold.

Cassandra: You will never stop us from collecting the dark armor!

…

Draxum: Would you like to do the honors?

Cassandra: Kali Ma!

...

Lieutenant: So, Draxum! We have some good news about your future in this organization.

Brute: Oh yeah. Really good news.

Draxum: Silence.

Cassandra: Assistant? But I thought we were partners.

Insane in the Mama Train

Cassandra: Hey! You’re holding up the line!

April: Oh, okay!

[April catches up with the Foot and onto the train.]

Cassandra: I swear the greatest threat to this ancient mystic clan is line inefficiency. Now move... PLEASE?!

…

Cassandra: I’m going to enjoy breaking every single bone- Is there something different about you guys?

Lieutenant: Yeah. They’re even lamer than before.

Cassandra: The sickest of burns!

Lieutenant: Whatever happened to hero-villain banter?

…

Cassandra: Hey! You guys are gonna pay for this!

...

Cassandra: [fends off an attack] Not me, you idiot!

...

Cassandra: [playfully intercepts Raph and giggles] Nuh uh...

…

Lieutenant: Uh oh.

Cassandra: Where is everybody?!

Many Unhappy Returns

Cassandra: [appears out of a portal] Senseis! My fury is unbridled and ready for-

Cassandra: [gasps] You resurrected the Shredder without me?!

Always Be Brownies

Julia: Boss, I know sales are down. But you got to believe me. It’s not my fault. There’s this new super cool hairy teen in skinny jeans slinging cookies like rocks.

Cassandra: Cookies?! The peasants of desserts are beating my brownies?! THIS WILL NOT STAND!

Julia: Excellent. I shall crush our chocolate chip enemies between my fists.

Cassandra: No! Bring them to me. These fashion-forward punks are either going to work for me or they’ll NEVER GO TO WORK AT ALL!

…

Cassandra: Do not lie to me, Lou Jitsu! I know you’re here to stop my world takeover!

Splinter: World takeover?

Cassandra: YES!

Splinter: As grandma CJ?

Cassandra: Brownies are the key. You sell enough you, get to meet everyone. Fortune 500 CEO's, mayors, world leaders. Once everyone knows our brand, we’ll be able to get into any office in the world. Even the oval one.

Splinter: Sounds complicated. How long is this going to take?

Cassandra: Based on my projections and facing inflation and natural disasters of the cocoa region, it should only take… ten years?!

[She begins to cry]

…

Cassandra: [blows nose] You know, those foot clan guys, they never really treated me right, but we were doing cool stuff. You know, like trying to raise the Shredder. You do that, and you're top dog. The world is your oyster to crush. Now I’m looking at brownie projections and watching the next ten years just bake by. I’m a failure.

Splinter: Just because you failed doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You’re focusing only on the negative, not the positive.

Cassandra: What do you mean?

…

Cassandra: [blows nose] Thank you so much. You’re such a great listener.

Splinter: I feel like I did most of the talking.

Cassandra: I feel like things are gonna be different now on. From this day forward...

Splinter: You’re going to start being a good person...?

Cassandra: ...nobody will stand in my way to world domination!

Splinter: Wrong lesson! Wrong lesson!

...

Cassandra: You’ve taken out my entire Brownie clan. Impressive.

April: Let him go.

Cassandra: Make me.

Splinter: Everyone calm down. I’m sure we can all find a way to get along.

Cassandra: Enough! Talk's cheap.

April: I couldn't agree more.

Splinter: See how much you have in common?

April and Cassandra: No, we don't. She's my enemy!

Splinter: Need I say more?

April: Give me back my money and the rat.

Cassandra: How about I let him go but I keep the money.

…

Lou Jitsu: There is no one path to success, other than the one you make. If a popular punch isn’t working, approach your problem with a flaming gorilla armbar!

Cassandra: Yes! Teach me how to armbar my way to world domination!

Battle Nexus: New York

Splinter: I don't know. Todd's lemonade especially tastes pretty real to me.

Cassandra: And magical as promised.

…

April: My friends!

Splinter: My sons!

Todd: My BFFS!

Cassandra: My enemies!

Draxum: Told ya.

…

Cassandra: Leap of faith! [jumps and falls off the boat]

Draxum: Oh look, a ladder.

…

Big Mama: I don't think so!

Cassandra: Intercepting!

…

Cassandra: Master?

Big Mama: Ignore the turtles. Follow the warrior alchemist!

Cassandra: So that's how…

Draxum: No!

…

Cassandra: There is no Shadow Fiend… only…

Raph: What? Uh oh.

[Shadow Fiend's cloak is torn off to reveal Shredder.]

Cassandra: The Shredder!!

Cassandra: Master Shredder, destroy your enemies.

…

Cassandra: The turtles are of no concern to us, but you enslaved my master. Now you will lose everything! I'd run if I were you.

[The Nexus Hotel explodes as Cassandra flies off with the Shredder.]

Cassandra: FOOT CLAN!

E-Turtle Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Cassandra: Master Shredder. You have returned to us after 500 years. The Foot Clan can finally fulfill our mission and do your dark bidding.

…

Cassandra: [angrily snatches the apple slices from Brute's hand] How dare you?! The Shredder is our master.

Cassandra: [furiously shoves the slices in her mouth] You will respect his DARKNESS!!

…

Cassandra: Enough!

Cassandra: I found Shredder, I will decide our next move. And I say we remove this collar and bring him back to his full Shredder-ness!

…

Cassandra: Stupid mystic collar! Oof!

[Cassandra falls over right off the Shredder. Brute and Lieutenant eat ice cream.]

Lieutenant: Still want to be in charge?

Cassandra: Zero regrets!

Shreddy or Not

Foot Lieutenant: So it's just kind of the three of us at the moment.

Cassandra: But we have the will of thousands!

Cassandra: [enthusiastically hugs Shredder] Tell us your bidding.

…

Splinter: I can't believe you're back with these Foot clowns! You could be so much more than that!

Cassandra: I am loyal to the Foot and Master Shredder. FOOT CLAN!

Rise

Cassandra: [trying to get Brute and Lieutenant out of the rubble] Master Shredder, our comrades are injured.

Shredder: Forget them, you are my new general now. Come.

…

Splinter: Having doubts, young one?

Cassandra: I am having zero doubts. I am a general now. It's everything I have ever wanted and it's... perfect.

…

Shredder: You dare defy me, general?

Cassandra: The name's Cassandra. Cassandra Jones!

…

Splinter: My family. Thank you, Cassandra.

Cassandra: My friends call me Casey.

Some notes:

This girl is a freaking badass

I wish we'd gotten a canon age for her

I digress

Uses very formal language (i.e. very rarely uses contractions in speech, etc)

Used "shall" six times throughout the series

Extremely enthusiastic statements. Caps and italics definitely called for when writing her

Uses mostly short, choppy sentences. When writing, must refrain from flowy, long-winded dialogue, sweeping declarations, etc.

I feel like, when written out, the bulk of her normal speech (i.e. that's NOT shouted exclamations) is kinda less extreme than you'd expect it to be. Aside from being pretty formal most of the time, it's just. Pretty normal speech.

And that's it! If you're NOT Owl and you're somehow still reading this, thanks! Hope this helps! And if I've made any errors or omissions, let me know!

[lesbianslovebts]

I'm looking forward to your reviews on their individual albums/music etc

Okay, I will tell you as long as everyone promises to be nice!

First, I want to be upfront with the fact that I do not have the technical knowledge required to critique their individual singing or songwriting skills in depth, so this is not that kind of review. However, I believe that people should actively engage with art, be it music, painting, or writing, at whatever level of expertise they may have, rather than consume it mindlessly. The following are my personal opinions and observations as a fan since 2015. I will focus mainly on their Chapter Two individual works, but I will also reference their previous solo and group work. And as a friendly reminder, the members of BTS are not above criticism as artists or as people.

"Indigo" by RM

If I had to use one word to describe this album, I would use "growth." More specifically, I would classify the transition from "RM" to "mono." as linear growth, and the transition from "mono." to "Indigo" as exponential growth. This is a project that Namjoon worked on for several years, which is apparent by the way each song is like a chapter of the same overarching story. The diverse genres and moods depict the ups and downs of life really well, and listening to the entire album in one sitting is a cathartic experience for me.

When I first saw the tracklist and noticed how many other artists were featured, I was nervous because a lot of BTS' collaborations feel like forcing a puzzle piece into a spot where it doesn't fit. What I mean by that is, they either cut out a chunk of the original song or insert a blank space and then fill it with a clipping of what sounds like an entirely different song. A substitution rather than a collaboration, if you will. However, that was not the case here. I think Namjoon did an excellent job of blending his own sound, style, and emotion with that of the other artists.

The only thing that I actively disliked on this album is the beat in "Change pt.2" from about 0:49 to 1:00. It's grating on the ear, which might have been intentional given the content of the song, but it isn't pleasant to listen to, and I cringe every time I hear it. As for a favorite, I can't really choose, but I think the objective number of replays would point to "Lonely."

"The Astronaut" by Jin

This one is an outlier because it's only one song, but I will discuss it just the same. I really liked Seokjin's voice in this one. I don't know the official terms, but it's lower and less breathy than usual. To me, that makes his voice sound warmer. Overall, this was a soothing song that left me wanting more when he gets back. I am waiting (im)patiently.

P.S. I know people tend to love or hate Coldplay. I don't listen to them or know anything about them as people, so the fact that this was cowritten by them doesn't really factor into my opinion of the song, if that makes sense.

"D-DAY" by Agust D

The amount of money I spent to see him live in Chicago should tell you how much I liked this album. Similar to what I said about Namjoon above, there's tangible growth from his mixtapes "Agust D" and "D-2" to his studio album "D-DAY." It's to be expected that experience will improve the craft, of course, but I still have to say it.

Yoongi is my favorite composer of BTS, by far. "Interlude: Dawn" and "Snooze" give me goosebumps every time I listen time them. Also, I love it when he uses traditional instruments like the haegeum. There's just something about the emotions he conveys in his tone, lyrics and melody that made this album a nonstop repeat for me.

My complaints are few and small. The autotune gets to be too much in the song "D-Day," and I'm not crazy about "People Pt. 2." Personally, I am not a fan of IU's voice. I have nothing against her, by any means, and I know she can sing, but I prefer women with deep, husky voices. And for the life of me, I can't figure out what her part means. I'm guessing this was a direct translation from Korean that didn't really...well, translate.

"Jack in the Box" by j-hope

When I first watched the MV for "More," I stimmed for joy. I was rocking, flapping, and squealing. I braved Lollapalooza as an autistic person, surrounded by a hundred thousand people in the summer heat, wearing the denim jacket I painted and an N95 mask to hear this man live. Hoseok's personality shone through in the concept, the MVs, the music, and the lyrics. He burst out of the box to show who he is as an artist. Perhaps I am (Hobi-)biased, but I don't have much else to say other than that I love this album, and I'm excited to hear more from him in the future.

"FACE" by Jimin

"Set Me Free Pt. 2" was the first single that was released, and it thoroughly crushed my hopes for the rest of the mini album. Though I liked the melody of the chorus, the 9 repetitions of "set me free-e-e" left a lot to be desired lyrically. I think he was trying to portray the desperation he felt by repeating the phrase, but his voice didn't show a progression in emotion as he continued through the chorus. For comparison, in Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name Of," the last line "fuck you, I won't do what you tell me" is repeated 16 times, but the way it starts as a murmur and builds up to a scream is powerful; it hits you in the chest. "Set Me Free Pt. 2" didn't have that effect. Also, the autotune in the middle when he "raps" is awful. I saw people on here reaching to explain why the autotune wasn't actually that bad, but...it just doesn't sound good. And him saying "fuck all your opps"? Yikes.

The other single "Like Crazy" was much better and more in line with what I was expecting. Rarely do I like any of the excessive remixes they put out, but the deep house one is actually good. I liked the music video, too. But unfortunately, the mud on his hand after all that bathroom imagery was a...shitty decision. Overall, I don't go out of my way to listen to any of the songs but "Like Crazy" and "Letter," which is my favorite.

"Layo(v)er" by V

I was underwhelmed by this mini album. I expected R&B and jazz from him, and I think his voice suits those genres well, but none of the songs had a particularly strong impact on me. I would say I like "Love Me Again" the most, but it doesn't even compare to "Singularity" and "Stigma" for me. I have to be in a specific mood to listen to slow music in general, so the odds were stacked against this album from the beginning.

"Golden" by Jung Kook

This album was the biggest disappointment I have ever felt as a fan. Honestly, I didn't think it could get any worse than "Permission to Dance," but I was wrong. Before I continue, I feel like I need to offer some context on my general opinion of BTS' music from 2020 onward before I get too deep into the weeds. So let me start with that.

A lot of people think BTS peaked before or during the "Wings" era and sold out with the release of "DNA." I am not one of those people. Most of my favorite BTS songs come from the "Love Yourself" and the "Map of the Soul" eras. There are songs that tug on my heartstrings, songs that give me energy, and songs that are inextricably tied to certain memories from college and my first job. This was when I felt like I was changing and growing in a positive way thanks to BTS' message and music.

That changed with Covid-19. I loved "Map of the Soul: 7" and had tickets to see BTS in Chicago, but then the concert was postponed. Later, it was canceled. Half a year into the pandemic, BTS released "Dynamite" as a fun summer song to lift everyone's spirits. It was their first all-English song, which might've had more global appeal due to the number of people who speak English as a first language, second language, or lingua franca. Personally, I don't hate "Dynamite," but I do hate what it led to.

This was their first Billboard #1. It succeeded far beyond anyone's expectations, and I was proud of them for that. I was glad that more people were checking out their music because BTS is one of my main special interests. However, a lot of what followed felt like an attempt to recreate the success of "Dynamite" rather than an effort to grow as artists. Whether that desire for numbers came from the company or from BTS themselves, I'll never know. All I can say is, I'm glad DynaButterPTD did not get a Grammy. Let's continue.

"BE" came next, and if I had to describe it in a word, I would say "homemade." BTS were more involved in this album than any other, including the concept, the album design, the photoshoots, the music video, and the songs. Because of that, the overall vibe was different, and combined with the effects of the pandemic, the album gave me the feeling that the members of BTS were struggling with who they were as a group, as artists, and as people.

This continued into "Butter" and "PTD," two more all-English songs, and various collaborations of the puzzle-piece-that-doesn't-fit variety I mentioned above. It was an identity crisis. I can't think of another way to describe it. Eventually, BTS decided for themselves that they had to take a step back, spend some time alone, and regroup later. I was both sad and relieved to hear the news. Releasing "PROOF" was a good way to look back on what they'd accomplished so far and put an end to Chapter 1.

That brings us to Chapter 2. More specifically, "Golden." Now, I love Jungkook. Spend 5 minutes scrolling through my blog, and that much will be obvious. But this album was not it for me. First, I want to make it clear that the members of BTS can sing in whatever language they so choose. Having said that, I do tend to prefer their songs that are entirely in Korean or are a mixture of Korean and English. Why? Emotion.

BTS' all-English songs tend to be written by other people, and those people tend to be the ones who write the same bland, unoriginal songs for overrated American/Canadian/British pop singers. Although Jungkook sings the English lyrics of this album with excellent pronunciation and technique, it doesn't have the magnitude of emotion in songs that he participated in writing, such as "Your Eyes Tell," which is in Japanese and English.

I don't know a lot about song credits, but I've noticed the following pattern: the more the members' names show up in the credits, the more I like the song. Looking at the credits for Golden? Jungkook's name isn't listed on a single song. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. A lot of wonderful singers all around the world can take a song that is given to them and make it their own by contributing their own talent, their own voice. But frankly, Jungkook didn't do that with these songs. I didn't want to say it, but...these are Justin Bieber songs. Especially "Too Sad to Dance," which is nearly indistinguishable from Justin Bieber's "Love Yourself."

On episode 21 of Suchwita, Jungkook said he recorded five songs in a week, which amounted to one song per day in a 3-hour session, give or take. Yoongi said that was a sign of unbelievable growth, and for comparison, Taehyung said it takes him 3 days to record one song. If I remember correctly, Namjoon worked on "Indigo" for 3 years. So, it's really no wonder why this album is the music equivalent of fast fashion.

I've already talked about how much I hated "Seven" (the song and the MV) in other posts, I can't do it again. Jack Harlow's part in "3D" makes me gag. I can't take the lyrics for "Shotglass of Tears" seriously. I mean, "she the life of the party...42 in her body...tell me, am I ever gon' feel again?" Yikes! "Closer" is generic runway music. "Yes or No" is tolerable. The only song I really liked is "Standing Next to You." I'm just disappointed. I don't have anything else to say.

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2005): Altar of Evil

Three days after the 413 reckoning.

You come out of your bunker with a shovel in your hands, and some random stray cat tied to your waist.

A- Are they gone?

...

You hear nothing.

Oh, thank God! They came back to their degenerate caves.

You come back to your room.

Now, let’s get back to work.

S2: Altar of Evil

Main author(s): Ronald Lubbelinkhof (Dutch Devil)

Release date: March 8th, 2005 (original release)/ July 7th, 2005 (database upload, updated version)

Version played: Updated

Required port compatibility: ZDoom

Levels: 1 (MAP01 replacement)

Our second runner-up WAD (or rather map) from 2005 is Altar of Evil. And spoiler warning (because I don’t know what to say in this section): It’s better than For Whom to Bell Tolls; and no, the fact that it needs ZDoom doesn’t mean anything in that department.

So why won’t we take a look at this map, and see what works and what doesn’t?

Altar of Evil looks really good. It tends to get repetitive due to how the texture pallet is almost the same in every room but somehow I didn’t feel like it constantly looked the same. Honestly, for me, this con sounds more like a nitpick due to how the author makes it all look incredible for the lack of better words.

What’s funny about this map, is that whenever you look through the window, there is nothing but emptiness; not even when you are looking at a place where the nearby room is; suggesting that the titular area is in some God-knows-where location.

Sound effects from Doom 64 and the music from Doom I are almost always welcome for me when it comes to Doom II WADs/maps.

This map isn’t really that hard to understand, although it is kind of ridiculous when you have to press the door near the beginning to reveal a switch that will open the door you just pressed.

As for more interesting stuff, the first key you acquire (the red one) is actually needed for the exit area, but you basically end up going around the map to actually reach the red door.

Also, in one of the secret areas, there is a hidden switch that will open up an area across the secret, leading to an optional area where you can get Plasma Gun and Rocket Launcher earlier.

Altar of Evil is kind of challenging. Half of the time it’s rather fair with battles, but another half is basically you ending up surrounded by Imps that bombard you behind cages/bars. The fact that there are 361 Imps on Hurt Me Plenty doesn’t help. But to be fair, I’ve played levels that were more annoying and had more unfair difficulty. And knowing that Altar of Evil doesn’t have even one hitscanner is a blessing.

This map also adds new enemies to the roster; and depending on which skill level you choose, you will fight either two new types of monsters, eight of these, or none at all.

On HMP you will encounter Flame Demon and Nightmare Spectre, both of which are just tougher variants of Pinky without any new abilities. It probably wouldn’t surprise me if the rest of the new monsters were like this but I might be wrong here.

Also, five original enemies have a new look now.

The new Imps’ look doesn’t help with fighting them.

The only bug I’ve encountered was with new Pinky variants having scuffed attack sound effect that actually plays when they manage to bite you.

With all of that in mind, I can definitely recommend Altar of Evil. As I said at the beginning, it is better than the previous WAD and its cons are more like nitpicks for me rather than actual problems.

And speaking about both runners-up, they get promoted to the Revenant Awards 2005 too (For Whom the Bell Tolls to the Pug-of-Pink section, and Altar of Evil to the Sole Survivor section).

Welp... Guess it’s time for me to take another two-day-long break (technically just a day of a break after uploading this post since I finished this review yesterday). But after that, we can finally take a look at the best ten WADs of 2005 (according to Doomworld).

I’ll see you then.

Bye!

[selfmadebd]

Voice Lead Generator Review - Lead generation software for businesses

Voice Lead Generator Review- The Voice Lead Generator is a powerful tool for marketers. Welcome To My Review Article. Unlock the secret to automating lead generation without the hassle.

Voice Lead Generator Review - What if you could start making money with zero product handling, no customer support, and no technical skills? With Voice Lead Generator, that dream becomes a reality, and you can be up and running in less than 5 minutes.

Ever wondered which marketing strategies have been making waves for businesses lately, both online and offline?

Here’s a clue: Companies have been pouring millions into customer outreach, and guess what? A huge chunk of that budget 70% is spent on services like:

Direct Client Engagement

Pay Per Call Marketing

Lead Reselling

Automated Outreach Campaigns

But there’s one crucial tool missing that could take your business to the next level. Imagine if you could offer these in-demand services instantly, without the grind of cold calling or manual outreach.

That’s where Voice Lead Generator comes into play. This Software automated voice drop tool allows you to deliver pre-recorded messages directly to thousands of potential leads with minimal effort.

How much would business owners pay for high-quality leads delivered straight to their phones? A lot! And with Voice Lead Generator, you can easily tap into this lucrative market.

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The Voice Lead Generator is an innovative software designed to help businesses effortlessly acquire new clients by leveraging the power of voice messaging. This tool allows you to target specific niches, such as home improvement services, HVAC, lawyers, dentists, SPAs, beauty salons, locksmiths, and more. 

One of the most used models to generate revenue is Pay Per Call, leveraging classified ads, paid search engine ads, social media, video platforms, and offline advertising, you can generate calls from potential clients seeking services in these niches.

Once these calls are received, the Voice Lead Generator software sends pre-recorded voice messages to the phone numbers of businesses offering these services. 

The message pitches the business owners, informing them of potential clients seeking their services. Business owners then call back to discuss terms and sign a contract, specifying payment for each qualified call they receive. 

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How to Get Started with the Voice Lead Generator

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How do I install the software?

The Voice Lead Generator is a web-based software, which means there is no need to download or install anything on your computer. Simply follow these steps to get started:

✅Sign Up: After purchasing the software, you will receive an email with your login credentials and a link to access the Voice Lead Generator platform.

✅Log In: Click on the link provided in the email to navigate to the Voice Lead Generator login page. Enter your credentials to log in.

✅Setup: Once logged in, follow the setup wizard to configure the software according to your needs. This includes setting up your Twilio SID and Token, recording your voice messages, importing contact lists, and you are ready to go.

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Since the software is web-based, all future updates and patches are automatically applied, ensuring you always have the latest features and improvements without any additional effort. If you need assistance, our support team is available to help through our support portal or email.

Voice Lead Generator Review - Overview:

***Creator***

Yacine Gaba

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💹Product: Voice Lead Generator

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💹Launch Date: 27th November -2024

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💹Launch Time: 11:00 Am Est

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💹Front-End Price: $27

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💹Contents: Software (Online)

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💹Support: Effective Response

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💹Recommended: Highly Recommended

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💹Bonus: Yes, Huge Bonuses

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💹Skill Level Needed: All Levels

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Voice Lead Generator Review - Features: 

💹Cutting-Edge Voice Drop Technology

💹Effortless Client Engagement

💹Proven Lead Generation Strategies

💹Easy-to-Use Interface for Everyone

💹Comprehensive Support and Training

💹Unmatched Value for Complete Solutions

💹Engage clients instantly with impactful voice messages

💹Proven methods to skyrocket your client base

💹Unlock success with expert guidance

💹Persuasive scripts that seal the deal fast

💹Dedicated assistance to ensure your success always

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How many voice messages can I send?

The number of voice messages you can send depends on the plan you choose. For Self-Managed Plans, you can send up to 20 or 50 voice drops per day, depending on the specific plan.

Fully Managed Plans offer even more flexibility, with up to 50 or 100 voice drops per day. All plans ensure a consistent flow of messages to help you reach your audience effectively.

How it works:

🎯Automated Voice Drops: Our software allows you to send pre-recorded voice messages directly to potential leads, letting you introduce your services effortlessly.

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Why This Matters:

🔥Growing Demand: Hundreds of thousands of new small businesses open every month in the USA alone, creating a constant need for lead generation services.

🔥Lucrative Opportunities: Small business owners are spending over $10 million annually on digital marketing, and they need someone like you to help them navigate this landscape.

🔥No Experience Required: You don’t need to be a marketing expert. Voice Lead Generator simplifies the process so you can focus on what matters: closing deals and making money.

Still unsure if this is right for you?

Imagine being able to launch your own lead generation service and start attracting clients in just minutes. With Voice Lead Generator, you can turn your efforts into a profitable business with ease.

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[avocodas]

This is a long ass post.. I don't if i am back as my senses for joy are paralyzed. But I wanna thank you for each like, reblog, or reach out message💖 If you read this, ily

Where am I?

I am in my 20s crisis... that's what is fueling this anguish post.

But i wanna point out first how, lol, how soothing opening this hellsite again.. All the memories played back like my skin cells are giggling bro.. how pathetic haha

Now for my crisis.. I left my job

No i wasn't laid off, i didn't resign at once .. but some of you caught up with my random thoughts, you knew I worked as a teacher. From grade 1 till grade 10...... that's 10 classes at my first fulltime job and I will spoil you it was a terrific experience and i mean that in two directions. So i asked to be a part-timer ( since i was teaching 2 subjects) and stay the Design teacher for Middle Schoolers- and High schoolers ( younger kids are nightmare) . A month and a half the HR and my line manager sat and a meeting and informed me that my request isn't in the prestigious-expensive-only-rich-fams-register-their-kids school's budget. So I politely quit! My health withdraw, the psychopath manager i had to work with, the unpaid overtime, last minute meetings, the whole chaos weren't the reason to quit. I quit because i don't wanna stay in the same classroom telling a kid to quit licking the mouse for 40 years straight.

I got a chance to work in Qatar, despite I didn't wanna go i accepted to go to the interview *after mom scolded me too lol *, and everything went great till the interviewer learned I don't have a teaching diploma which is a mandatory requirement in Qatar.. Another piece of crap paper that costs-lots-and-adds-no-values, is once again controlling my life..

I didn't want teaching or the "safe" job title to be my prison for my abilities and for my ambitions...

Right when I quit, an initiative to teach 2D animation opened for applications, it was a full year program from 9-5 ( unpaid lol) but you are gonna learn from local artists who worked internationally and who wanna revive Lebanon as a creative hub for digital productions! the only downside that they accept only 5 students, and you have to be a good in digital art!

and guess what this girl is at least great at? splashing colors on pixeled canvas!

So I applied, waited a month and a half for applications to close and another 15 days waiting for a shortlisting email for an interview which was in couples of days!

I arrived before 20 minutes, scanned the greeny, clean, prestigious, occupied by western-woke locals neighborhood, till my interview starts in 6 minutes!

I tried to stay calm, but my heart was beating fast from this random jogging around the neighborhood haha, one of the juries approached me and said " don't worry, they are monsters inside *wink wink*" and jokingly replied " Ohh no, i was a teacher, so ig i am too a monster myself haha" and we shared the laughs..

In the interview.. they asked the typical questions why i wanna learn animation, have i tried, bla bla bla and i basically repeated my cover letter and shared my experience with students when we learned to storyboard and film simple stop motion animations...

" But why haven't you created your own universe?"

Excuse me ?

The founder himself, along with the children book illustrator asked me this question.

Folks, my portfolio consisted of variations of work, from commissions, to studies, to typographic illustrations and many many more.. at the end i put 4 illustrations from my KNY fanwork to prove my rendering abilities

Just to be asked why I don't have a concept.. an attribute that needs a lot of research and year of observing, experimenting and documenting to achieve.

I replied that i am indeed in my journey to learn and discover my concept, I kid you not drawing my favorite shows is what drove me to learn art, dragon ball helped me get through my parents divorce, i ve been drawing KNY for 2 years straight and there where my technical skills got honed.

But what do you wanna do? you were a teacher, game developer, do you see yourself a game developer? you did VR game, you drew comics, you studied CS at uni bla bla...

and I simply replied " I still in my journey to learn what do I actually wanna do for living, committing to a title isn't a wise choice for me as you stated I am good at multiple fields. I am applying to this program to add to my table and see how my past expertise would contribute into elevating the skills i am gonna acquire - if selected- here"

"But if you wanna give a title for yourself what it would be ?" asked the first juries that i met "A Digital Artist . As it joins the multidisciplinary fields in the digital medium in general"

and there where it ended. Do you know what shocked me the most? It is the skeptical looks on the founder of the program, and the weird vibes in the room itself as if i was brought here to be humiliated.

Because what didn't make sense at all, is asking why I don't have the vision of a 30 yo painter when i am still 24? I mean i am here to learn ani-.. well who am lying to...

the only reason I wanna get applied to this program wasn't just to learn animation purely, it was to work on the last project which is a 15 minutes movie.. I want to be seriously involved in a professional production of a movie where i finally can feel belonged to, and use my skills in concept art, visual development, narratives, designing and developing the storylines.

A week pass by, and it passed horribly. As my eyes were glued to the gmail app, and my ears waiting for the notification sound sat to important emails only. And just for my luck i got insomnia and i couldn't sleep well. What adds to it my mom cooked mjadara in both colors for the whole week.

On Thursday, When i was with my friends, I ordered a roasted potatoes from the Al-Turki restaurant, called the restaurant twice to confirm bringing changes so i can avoid unwanted tipping. Food arrived, my friends are jealous cause of my big fat potatoe while they got humble shawarma wraps which was also high in calories unlike my order.

Right when I forked the first hot, cheesy sweet and salty bite, the important-email notification knocked, so did the result..

"Bla Bla Bla

I am writing to let you know that we won't be able to take you with us for this year's program.

Bla Bla Bla. Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla 2025.

Bla Bla, Bla "

All the week of eating bland food and meals, and this appetite killing news came just after i paid 8$ for a delightful meal..

I did the usual, called my mom, she comforts me, tells me Allah knows the best, peeps in Palestine fought for 75 years and they still fighting and it will be free... maybe you might need a part-time job first so you can handle the transportations and don't feel less than others.. bla bla bla.. and don't cry

Yeah i didn't cry, I desperately wanted to, but my mom asked me to not.. even when my friends asked what's wrong I cracked jokes instead.. at the shower i wanted to cry but my eyes stayed dry..

Cause now I am lost, this what I visioned my year gonna be.. i planned to have my name travelling in the movie credits in the MENA annual festivals... and what went wrong is something i didn't have control over, i crafted my application perfectly, i contacted the first edition participants, and took their opinion. All what i planned and worked heartfully through just didn't blossom at all..

the seeds were rotten to begin with ...

Chin up, accepting faith and trying to move on... i am trying to apply to full funded masters program in CS, couple of programs opened and amma apply... Colleagues, friends and online strangers are saying a the perfect candidate and shower me with compliments ..

But at this point, does anything I plan to matters? I don't recall the last time i put huge efforts and got fair results..

Highschool? I was kicked off the team cuz my teacher misread the number 3 to 4.. and that was right after i did half of the project

University? Always were with the outcasts, the cool ones tho. Covid, inflation, stress eating me alive, Doctors opens the pandora box for unholy questions, effortless teammates, woke teammate, love triangles i was forcefully registered in...

Even After University, when i had an interview with an alumni to work online in his gaming company, he calls me at night and tells me he got me job as a teacher - a position he previously worked in- and he wasn't gonna pay for three months anyways so this better for me...

Only to have my views of whatever-positive-delusions-i-had crushed and turn on my survival instincts to escape this toxic-controlled-by-psychos-work place....

I really wanna stand by and watch where the waves of life throw me at. DO nothing at all, and see where Allah's plans throw me at... I have big faith in Allah but ... this wallah frustrating... soul crushing... i don't even know what job i can apply to now...

I am afraid to not get anywhere and be another story of those who faded in the morphine of corporate and safe redundant jobs.. or worse to end up as a beggar who couldn't move on, yet finds out that the market is already saturated and competitive too.

[shinglescat]

Some notes regarding pro 3D, accumulated by yours truly:

For the love of god, learn basic things like topology, edge flow, polygonal modelling and subdiv, because jesus christ, that's like the basicest of basic stuff, and if you can't understand it - it's high time to learn it. Learn modifiers too, they are usually almost 1 to 1 identical in function from software to software. Cloth sim and sculpting are cool and all, but the old ass modelling methods are still alive and kicking and they are the most required things ever. I mean yeah, you can sculpt yourself smth and be like "here i made this hard surface armor", but bruv, you have to retopo it now like a dumbass and you have to spend even more time torturing yourself, esp if you don't know the basics and if you get feedbacked from the higher ups. Better spend time to learn topology now to just speedrun things later. And it's not as destructive. Easy. Fast. No bullshit. GOOD GEOMETRY IS KING. If you want to go gamedev or vfx, it's not enough to be good at sculpting and design (unless you have a dedicated person for the technical stuff), it's important to have a solid base.

Learn where to cut corners. Do not half ass where you shouldn't half ass, half ass where it's not necessary for things to be perfect. Learn how to spot these opportunities. Half assing saves time and effort, but only when you're capable of it and only if you are experienced in it. It's not always that you'll be asked to do immaculate perfect things - more often than not you'll be asked specifically for half assing, to save on time and costs.

Learn how to do uvs, seriously. Learn how to make straight grid islands for optimization. Learn about the texel density and how to make use of most space available. Learn about overlapping.

For the love of everything that is holy, BE INDEPENDENT. Learn to see, like legit, learn it, it's a skill of its own: spot the shapes, spot the volumes, the sizes, distances, angles, curves, everything. Learn how to see errors yourself, learn how to apply feedback. Learn to read and listen! If you don't understand something, don't be afraid to ask again to clarify. As a lead, I can only suggest you to change certain things to look better and review your stuff to allow you to go to the next stage; if you can't see issues yourself, and I have to guide you and give you feedback every iteration - it's easier for me to take over and do things myself. Well, fair enough, there are cases where guiding and feedbacking every iteration is valid, but these cases a extremely rare. I had to give so much feedback in the past few weeks, I'm legit nearly fucking dying: feedback this, explain that, overpaint everything, chew out the concept and spit it out for modelers... And it takes hours, and I've a ton of shit to model and texture myself, and there are SEVERAL PROJECTS I HAVE TO DEAL WITH. And in the end, when I had to take over, I just completely remade the assets from scratch, cuz no way in hell I'm shipping the jank.

Take time to get to know your software. Do bullshit. Press buttons. Make it crash. Just know where's where and what does what. Don't make your seniors give you step by step explanation of how to work in any given software.

Learn how to bake properly. This is like the easiest shit, but I swear people be just not seeing errors in their bakes, and I have to pixelfuck, pinpointing issues. If one baker sucks, go to the other, and then other, or try to adjust your model, try cage, anything. Last time i had an issue with bakes, I tried it both in SP and Blender. And I had my lead try bakes in the new SP. Guess what? In desperation I went to xNormal, and fuck me it blew me away, baking things exactly as I wanted them. Old as hell and reliable as well. Pay attention to the normal map format, pay attention to the coordinates! Pay attention to a good looking ambient occlusion. If something doesn't bake right away, feel free to make a composite map of several bakes.

Learn to hear and to read feedback. Learn to apply it. Do not disregard anything. If you're a scatterbrain, use lists to keep track of everything. If you don't understand something - it's fine to clarify information.

It's okay to have questions and doubts, and do not hesitate to voice anything. It's even better if you have a shitton of questions. The more questions you ask, the more confident we are in you. Please, don't present yourself as a super-duper-hella-pro-9000 with 1mil years of experience and complete understanding of how the universe works and why - this guarantees you are seen as ignorant and instantly sets off red flags.

Language is important, google translate can only help you so much. You should be able to comprehend the common lango, at the very least have some writing and reading skills. At best you should be able to listen to people talk and you should be able to understand the spoken words.

[makangerous]

Fukuya Rank 6 (Temperance Confidant)

TW: addiction

You receive a text message from Fukuya.

Hope you've been taking advantage of my illness! Bet Kawakami's happy I'm getting sick in other people's classes for once. I am doing better, though. Thanks to you. I'm still not feeling good enough for a lecture, but can we meet up sometime in the evening? Call me.

You call Fukuya at night.

Emi, I need to get out of the house. I've felt a lot less temptation after the night you came over, but I'd prefer to feel zero temptation. What's open at night, though? Hm… I've heard our classmates talking about a lounge called Penguin Sniper. They said you can play darts there. Why don't we go there tonight? I'll be in Kichijoji shortly.

You arrive at Penguin Sniper and follow Fukuya inside.

There is a distinct lack of penguins here! I'm not impressed so far, Emi. Also, I… forgot I suck at real darts. I'm only good at darts in video games. The skills aren't very transferable. Does the darts rulebook actually say you have to throw the darts? Can't I walk the dart over and stick it into the bullseye?

>You see the penguins if you win.

Really? So that's their angle. You'll have to let me win then! I need to see where they're hiding them… What do you mean, you're joking? Boo! Not funny, Emi!

Well, darts aren't the point of this rendezvous. I figured you're too invested in my situation now for me to pretend that incident at my house never happened. I feel embarrassed about it, definitely. I considered hiding from you before I realized that would be difficult, seeing as we're in the same homeroom. When the blobfish emerges from the water, it's never going back to its non-squishy, non-vulnerable form. I suppose it's the same for me.

I'm taking my symptoms day by day. They're more bearable, now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel again. Knowing someone's holding me accountable has severely curtailed my desire to concoct the not-technically-illegal version of Resurr-EX. That's why I want to ask an additional favor of you, Emi. Could you… be my friend?

>We're already friends.

Huh. I guess you're right. We probably passed the boundary of the mentor/mentee relationship when I started telling you my personal problems. I'm not the brightest at figuring out relationships, as you can tell. Keep being my friend, then. Please?

All the friends I had before abandoned me once I became an addict. In hindsight, they weren't really friends. They were using me. They begged me for homework help nonstop, and bought me off with fake platitudes and cheap fast food. If it wasn't that, they were after my inventions. Back then, I had no idea how to say no. If I was the genius everyone said I was, getting them what they needed should be a mere trifle. That line of thinking got me into so much trouble…

You're different, Emi. That's why I want to show you what other talents I have. I'm a good chef, for one. On Monday nights, I cook up a big pot of curry to last me for the week. I'm pretty crafty with my hands, too, since chemistry requires precision. If you'd like me to make you something, let me know. …Speaking of precision, I bet I can get a bullseye now. Quiet please. Let me focus…

His dart completely misses the board. It bounces off another patron's shoulder.

Sorry, sir! Shit, this is humiliating… Let's just go.

Your phone rings in front of Leblanc.

Just when you thought you were safe… Like a bolt from the blue, another pop quiz for you! True or false: there are over 121 quadrillion possible dartboard configurations.

>True.

Ding-ding, we have a winner! Did you actually know that, though, or did the oddly specific number tip you off? Or was it a lucky guess? In this case, your methods don't matter. Only the end result. Good job!

Now how come I know that, but not how to actually throw the darts? To be fair, I'm not exactly in peak physical condition. Playing those few rounds really tired me out… See you at school, Emi.