#I may be writing something for these two!
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This is why I have so many WIP's, and why I seem to 'fandom hop'; whenever I get into a new fandom and I have a story idea, I write it out and see if I get any bites. My latest fanfic got so many I was updating it every two weeks up to the last chapter (which is no one's fault but my own. The muses have unionized against me)
But thing is; this is rare. Usually I will get kudos (which are the equivalent of participation prizes to me; worthless) but no comments. Or if I do get comments, there is only like one or two people who show up and then vanish as the fic proceeds.
I am writing for participation. Do these people think published authors exist in a void? Because they don't; they have family and friends motivating them. Fanfic authors may have that too, but we also have the supposed benefit of a fandom to participate in and when the fandom won't participate in return, it causes the author to not want to write.
The case above where their fic was wildly popular but for some godsdamned reason no one felt the need to tell the author how they felt is just incredibly insulting. I'd be demotivated too. What is this author to you that you lavish praise about them but can't be arsed to share a single compliment to them? The incredible audacity absolutely staggers me.
I got a comment on my latest fic that was literally just emojis and even that has more worth to me than 20 kudos. There is literally no excuse. If you don't comment, you stand to lose something you enjoy.
A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.
My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.
My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.
This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.
Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.
I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.
So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.
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best friend!eddie munson x fem!reader
Softember 🍂 prompt: “I used to have the craziest crush on you.” / “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
author’s note: working through this writer’s block pretty nicely (so far), and had to write this. Josh Milligan may or may not be based on real life travesties. Also, if you’ve never seen Some Kind of Wonderful, this is the scene I’m referencing.
warnings: none, only first kisses and sweet confessions. But still - this is an 18+ blog, minors go away!
w/c: 2.2k
Some Kind of Wonderful plays on the television, its image staticky and slightly warped on the barely functioning system. Still, you watch intently. The pivotal scene playing out, the first kiss.
“Amanda Jones is no minor-leaguer who will be swept off her feet at the touch of your amateur lips,” you mouth along with the actress.
It was safe to say you’ve seen this movie, this specific moment, numerous times. Much to Eddie’s chagrin, he hated when you won the weekly bet and got to choose the movie because it was either this or some Molly Ringwald torture flick.
He groans now, throwing his head back against the paisley cushion of his worn down couch. The one you helped him thrift when he moved into his own place. A small apartment close to the mechanic shop that became a second home to you, spending more time here than your own place.
“We’ve seen this a million times, can we please watch something else?” He grumbles, nudging your shoulder but you don’t pay attention. Gaze set intently on the moment the two finally kiss, a romantic push and pull of their lips. Sweet, and soft. Like you’d always hoped your first kiss would be. Instead, it was a nightmare and the memory of it made your stomach churn. Josh Milligan and his too slick lips and his invading tongue.
Bile rose to your throat and you fought the shiver that slowly crawled up your spine.
“Seriously, you know how it ends. Put something else on,” Eddie begged, grabbing your shoulder and shaking you.
You turn to him, mind still elsewhere and not entirely listening to his pleas.
“Do you think they’re actually like that?” You question, turning back to the screen where the two main actors are still embraced.
Eddie follows your gaze, eyebrows pushing together in confusion.
“Huh?”
He’s not entirely following or he’s playing dumb which he often did to get some sort of rise out of you. You roll your eyes, glancing back at him with an impatient glare.
“Y’know,” you nudge him, “the kiss.”
Eddie looks between you and the screen, feeling as though you’re talking in riddles.
“What about it?”
“Are they actually that good?” Your shoulders sag, the yearning for something just as sweet crawling into your chest. Completely overlooking the part where this is a kiss between friends.
Eddie swallows hard, cheeks blushing a pretty shade of pink as his eyes dance between you and the screen. Paying attention for the first time since the two of you initially watched the movie in the theater. Vaguely remembering the plot, the most important detail standing out. The one that you overlooked.
At the time, he’d wondered if your mind had ventured where his always had. Drifting to daydreams of you and him being more than just childhood friends. Deep down, he knew that was a pipe dream. Knew that you were too good for him in every way but the truth didn’t stop his mind now.
He tilts his head, a teasing grin slotting into place as he looks at you, “Wouldn’t you know?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Come on, Princess. Don’t tell me all-star athlete Milligan had amateur lips,” he repeats the line from the movie and you can’t help but laugh. Jaw a little slack in surprise but quickly twisting into a cocky smirk.
“You have been watching!” You push off the couch and point an accusing finger. Eddie scoffs, nudging your hand from his face with a roll of his eyes.
“You’ve made me watch it a dozen times, how could I not catch some of it?” He gives you a bored stare but you don’t miss the slight grin on his face.
“Still watched it,” you grumble under your breath, falling back against the cushion and watching the movie but Eddie isn’t going to give up so easily. The thought staying present in his mind, urging him to ask again. Ask, ask, ask until you give him an answer.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he pushes you again, enjoying the scowl you shoot in his direction.
“Because it was a dumb question,” you sneer but lack any venom. Hell would have to freeze over before you admitted to being less than practiced in the kissing department. Something you knew he’d definitely make fun of you for.
His cinnamon eyes study the side of your face, the heat on your cheeks not missed by his suspicious gaze.
“I knew it!” He shouts suddenly, and you shrink under his innocent scrutiny.
“Knew what?” You tut your tongue, face twisting in feigned confusion. Attempting to cover the obvious.
“Is that why you broke up with him? Kiss was that bad?” He continues to tease, eyes glowing with mirth. Their intensity causing you to crack and break.
“You suck,” You groan, throwing your head back and shutting your eyes. Divulging every last detail of your first and last kiss as you avoid looking directly at him.
“It was so bad, Eds. He left a ring of saliva around my mouth and I swear to fuck he was trying to eat my face.”
Goosebumps rise on your arms and revulsion churns in your gut remembering the sticky ring he left behind when you’d finally left his house.
He laughs, a loud melodic sound that fills his living room causing you to break. You watch him with a glare, crossing your arms over your chest as you do.
“It’s not funny, Eddie,” you pout, and fuck, if he can’t help but find you cute.
His laughs quiet down and he tries to school his face into neutrality, but he can’t fight the smile from spreading across his lips when you look at him like that.
“It’s really not,” he shakes his head, dark curls brushing his shoulders with the movements. He meant what he said, it isn’t funny. A pretty girl like you deserves a good kiss.
“It’s probably my fault anyway,” you shake your head, a little flustered as the embarrassment creeps in and makes a home of your chest.
“I sincerely doubt that,” he scoffs, turning his body to face yours.
“I’m not exactly practiced, Eddie,” you admit with a roll of your eyes, playing with the hem of your dress and wishing the earth would swallow you whole.
Josh had been your first boyfriend, if you could call him that. Some lame-o jock with a nice car and a house to himself most of the time. You were seventeen and never been kissed. Just wanting to get it over with to say you had and you weren’t entirely sure the reason it sucked wasn’t because of you.
Eddie watches the side of your face, the nervous way you bite into your lower lip and stare into the shag carpet lining his hardwood floor.
“I can show you, if you want,” he offers suddenly, catching both of you off guard and you’re not entirely sure what he means.
He knows you better than anyone, can tell you’re confused by the upturn of your brow and the twist of your mouth when you face him.
“I mean, for practice,” he corrects, completely nonchalant and hoping the words are a lot more confident than he feels.
“That wouldn’t be weird?” You question, turning your body to mirror his. Sitting face to face and only inches apart. The smell of his cologne growing stronger, making your mouth water at the scent. Bergamot and tobacco, a small hint of his green apple shampoo.
“‘Course not,” he waves you off and sits a little closer, subtly wiping his sweaty palms along the tops of his jeans.
“What do I do?” You question, hands lifting and unsure of where to place them. Where you can touch him.
He grins, that megawatt smile that always had your heart racing. Less mischievous and more inviting than before, the dimple deepening in his cheek.
“Here,” he grabs your hands and wraps them around his neck, patting them softly. As though instinctively, your fingers curl in his hair. Wrapping dark brown waves around your fingers absently.
“And my hands would go here,” he grips your hips softly, your bodies moving closer until your chests brush and you wonder if he can feel how your heart thrums in your chest.
“Still with me?” He grins and you give him an uncertain smile, a small nod because the words are lodged in your throat.
“I’d tilt my face this way,” he moves his head, “and you’d tilt yours the other.”
You follow his instruction, gaze dancing between his cinnamon eyes and the plush of his lips.
He leans closer, and your eyes flutter close. Time slows until it stops altogether when you feel the gentle press of his mouth against yours.
Eddie’s lips are softer than you thought they’d be, mouth sweet like the chai tea he’d been sipping. He takes his time, focusing on your bottom lip and then your top one. A languid push and pull, his hand reaching up to cup your face. To hold you close. Making you melt where you sit, forget how to breathe as you follow his lead.
The kiss grows more intense, and you nip at his bottom lip without thinking. Tugging it gently, sucking it sweet and making him groan.
He pulls away when he hears himself, too afraid to get lost in how you feel, how you taste, when this is supposed to be practice.
His hands remain on your face, pale skin blushed and brown eyes burning with something you can’t name.
“I don’t think you were the problem,” his voice is just above a whisper, your hands still tangled in his hair.
“No?” You repeat, mind still mush. Still focused on his lips.
“Definitely not,” he shakes his head and you fight the urge to kiss him again.
This was just a lesson, you tell yourself and loosen your grip. Hands falling to your sides.
Inside, Eddie is fighting a silent battle. Debating whether to tell you the truth or keep it his best kept secret. How would he even tell you?
Hey, I’ve always had a thing for you?
Could we be more than just friends?
“That’s better than what I could’ve imagined,” or that.
Idiot, he squeezes his eyes shut. Avoiding your surprised gaze, hoping to whatever god that you didn’t hear him but knowing you definitely did.
“W-what?” You stammer, unsure if you heard him right. Did he just say that?
Eddie shrugs, “Oh, c’mon,” he says your name with a shake of his head, opening his eyes and glancing down at his lap. You watch him pick at the frayed hole in his black jeans.
“Don’t tell me you didn’t know,” his voice is thick, lower than before and your face twists as you shake your head.
“Know what?”
The anticipation builds with every second that passes and he doesn’t respond. Building up the courage to say all that he hadn’t before.
“I used to have the craziest crush on you,” he laughs but it’s smaller than before. Your mouth goes dry and your palms sweat as you stare. Heart skidding to a stop because you never thought, never knew, that he felt that way about you.
“The look on your face tells me you didn’t,” he chuckles again, circling your face with one of his ringed fingers but still avoiding your gaze. You can see a hint of uncertainty there, a worry glimmering in them and you want to say something. Anything. To reassure him that you felt that, still feel the same. Have always felt the same but the words are lost on your tongue. Mind stuck on the kiss, his confession, and trying to pinpoint a sign or a clue.
With each passing second, Eddie feels more uncomfortable. More awkward than before.
“Don’t worry, I didn’t expect-“ he starts but you shake your head
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” You cut him off.
“Because you’re my best friend for some reason and I knew that was already an anomaly. No way you like the town freak as more than a friend,” he shrugs, using self-deprecation as a shield to lessen the inevitable rejection.
You swallow down any fear of repudiation that you’d held onto all of these years.
“So you liked me?” You clarify, trying to see if it’s present or past tense. He squirms a little under your attention giving himself away and you can’t help the goofy grin that spreads across your kiss swollen lips.
“Oh that’s funny to you, Princess?” He jokes but the color of his cheeks deepen until they’re a vibrant red.
“You’re so clueless for someone so smart, Munson,” you shake your head and he finally looks up at you.
You’ve always thought he was handsome, good-looking in every way. From the sharpness of his jaw, to the prominent apples of his cheeks and the roundness of his nose. The kind of cute that was hard to miss, hard to stop staring at when you started. Just like now. Your eyes trace over the freckles dotting his alabaster skin and to his lips. A small countdown in your head and when it reaches zero, you’ll finally have the courage to lean in. For this to be more than just practice.
Three
Two
One
Eddie meets you halfway, his hands on your waist and your hands holding his neck. A soft peck that blossoms into something more. Exploring the plush of his lips, memorizing the way they curve under your kiss. How he sighs, happily, as the seconds drag on.
No, kisses weren’t meant to be rushed or make you nauseous. They were meant to be this. A rush of excitement, the thud of your heart, the way the world around you fades away until all you can feel is Eddie. Your best friend Eddie. All the stereotypical descriptors couldn’t do this justice.
—
thank you for reading! xx el
#Softember#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x fem!reader fluff#eddie munson stranger things
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| DEVIOUS LIES — Part three (8.929 words).
| Summary — Anon Request — When your friend asked you out for a drink, you didn't think much about it. Yet, maybe you should've, because that night ruined your life. It may have been two years since the events, but you still can't stop think about what you've lost. Your job, your friends, your lover, and even your mind was left in that motel room.
“I am a hero,” you whispered in your breath, “and that’s what heroes do,” you added, repeating the sentence once more. You were trying to find a little bravery in this mantra, the one you needed to push your limits a little further. Yet, all you find in these words is deep despair, because a part of you knows that they are not true — and you are not a hero. Not anymore. You tried to believe Fury’s lies. You wanted to believe them, and deceive yourself because it gave you a bit of hope, a reason to carry on, but the illusion couldn’t last for eternity. What’s a hero when they are hated by the whole world? A villain.
| Tags & warnings — Avenger!Natasha Romanoff x Avenger!Reader, Wanda Maximoff x Reader (platonic), Other Avengers x R. Angst with comfort, mental health issues, suicidal ideations, self depreciation, mentions of SA&SH, manipulation, severe injuries, no happy ending.
| Author's notes — This is the last part of the "Devious Lies" serie, and I really hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it <3
| MOODBOARD — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING
| Part one. Part two. Part three. the scars in our hearts (bonus part).
Many people would say that you are not a hero, not anymore. You have lost this title years ago, the day you revealed your true face to the world by cheating on Natasha —; how could they trust someone with their lives when that person can’t even remain loyal to their girlfriend? A hero is not a human, it is a perfect being that exists for the sole purpose of saving the world, and making children dream. You exist only to give hope to the population, but there is none once they discover that you are just like any of them, someone full of flaws, and failures, just a mess —; just human.
Who knows the horrible things you might have done in the past, or the numerous lies you could have said to twist the reality? Not them, because they know nothing of the truth behind your departure, but they were still convinced that you were a monster who had been lying to them all this time, and it was too late to undo their hatred. A few days had been enough for rumours to spread, suddenly everyone had a story to share that proves how wicked you were. These stories have slowly replaced those of your greatest achievements, the many times you saved the world now forgotten in favor of all the little things you did wrong.
And you know these stories by heart because you have read about them in newspapers, heard them on television and in cafés. Wherever you go, these rumors follow you, they stick to your skin like an obsessive ex that won’t let you go, even after several years. The people never forget, nor they forgive.
Yet, none of them had the courage to hate you to your face. No, it was always behind your back, a bunch of glances they thought were discreet and whispers as soon as you turned around. You might not be their hero anymore, but you haven’t lost your abilities, and they are aware that you could easily kill any of them in less than a minute. But, instead of letting the anger consumes you, you pretended to not see the fear in their eyes, mixed with hatred. Except that, the longer this situation lasted, the more difficult it became for you to ignore their hostility. You would lie if you said it didn’t bother you to see these emotions replace the admiration that used to sparkle in their eyes.
If you are being honest, you have thought about it, about killing some of them. These thoughts come to your mind more times that you care to admit —; it would be so easy to snap their necks so you will never hear their hateful whispers again.
What do you have to lose anyway?
Nothing you haven’t already. At worst, they will send you in prison, but to your exhausted mind the idea sounded more tempting than repellent. Sometimes, you think about it as a sweet dream, and it brings you some peace —; if you were in prison, you would be blessed with ignorance. If you were in prison, they would have a real reason to use these slurs. If you were in prison, you would eventually be where you deserve to be. But, no matter how many times you thought about it, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it and so, instead, you shut yourself away in your crappy apartment, where you could no longer harm anyone.
— — —
“But you are still a hero,” the man told you. It was months ago, almost a year, and it was the first time you had seen Fury since the events that led you to take a break.
A break that was coming to an end, and that you were desperately trying to prolong. Unfortunately, the man is as stubborn as you are, and he is determined to convince you to return to the field. He needs you, and that is obvious, even though those words haven’t crossed his lips. You can feel his desperation.
You disagree with him.
You are not a hero, and he definitely doesn’t need you. There are dozens of agents more talented than you are, dozens of promising, and less controversial, souls who deserve a chance. He should better abandon you now, and let you rot in your apartment, because he will be disappointed sooner or later. But you didn’t tell him that. Instead, you stayed quiet, because the words were stuck in your throat.
“Don’t tell me that you are that kind of agent?” he asked, to fill the silence. The tone of his voice had changed slightly. There was something petty about it, something that is crawling under your skin —; it is the disappointment that his words carry. Yet, you have no idea what he is talking about —; “that kind of agent”? The worlds held no meaning to you, but you could still feel that they didn’t bode well, and that you didn’t want to be that kind of agent. You can see his eyebrows rise in anticipation of an answer you can’t give him.
“What kind?” you asked back, without any conviction, just because you know that is what he expects. You accompany these words with a sigh.
You are not in the mood for this kind of game. You only want one thing, and it is to go back to your apartment, to slip back into the comfort of your sheets and stay there for days to come. In fact, you may never leave them ever again. That is the only place where you can ignore the world, where all your worries disappear along with the rest. The only place where you do not need to be human, or pretend to be strong, where you can be a mess, and no one would be here to judge.
You were really not comfortable at the idea of coming here, to Fury’s office, at the S.H.I.E.L.D. 's headquarters, and being there makes the feeling even worse. He promised you that no one would know, but how could he be sure? The mere thought that one of them could see you there makes you nervous, and prevents you from concentrating.
What if it happens?
What if, despite Fury’s promises, you run into one of them?
You have no idea what you might tell them if it happens. Is it better to beg for their forgiveness, or would it be too much? You bet they wouldn’t even listen to you, anyway —; they haven’t in the past, why would it be different a year later?
Maybe they won’t even acknowledge you, and you should probably do the same —; but wouldn’t it be worse? You are not sure that you could handle this possibility, that you could walk by the people that once were your family as if they were complete strangers.
Maybe it is better if they decide to scream —; that is what a part of you is craving for, no matter how twisted it can be. Because, if they scream, if they still hate you, it means that they care, right? No one would take some of their time and energy to yell at someone they don’t care about, right? Because it wouldn’t make sense.
“The kind that does it for fame,” he replied, and you could feel the weight of his gaze. It was so intense that it made you want to disappear. You hate it, the way he looks at you, as if he knows all the secrets of your soul, and so you are fidgeting in your seat, unable to stay still because of your nerves.
“No, I am not,” you sighed the words that you knew the man was expecting you to say, falling right into his trap. You are conscious of it, but you are too exhausted to fight, and it is way much easier to give the man what he wants.
Yet, your voice is full of uncertainty —; does it make you a bad person to want to stop helping people? At least, that is what he seems to be suggesting, and maybe he is not wrong. Maybe the only reason you want to stop is because you are selfish —; anyone with your skills wouldn’t hesitate to save the world. But not you, not anymore. Why? When did you become one of the bad guys, one of those who don’t care about others?
You want to tell him — to yell at him — that it is not about lost celebrity, that it was about being hated by almost every soul living on earth, but the words get stuck in your throat —; what’s the difference, after all? Are you really gonna let people die because they do not like you, is that the kind of person you became? No, it is not, and it will never be.
“Does that mean I can count on you?” he asked, and you answered with a murmured yes, because that is what he wants to hear, and because you only want this conversation to end. From the very moment you sat on this chair, you have been eyeing the exit, and you are more than willing to give the man what he wants in exchange for the right to leave.
— — —
“I am a hero,” you whispered in your breath, “and that’s what heroes do,” you added, repeating the sentence once more. You were trying to find a little bravery in this mantra, the one you needed to push your limits a little further.
Yet, all you find in these words is deep despair, because a part of you knows that they are not true — and you are not a hero. Not anymore. You tried to believe Fury’s lies. You wanted to believe them, and deceive yourself because it gave you a bit of hope, a reason to carry on, but the illusion couldn’t last for eternity.
What’s a hero when they are hated by the whole world? A villain. It has been several years since you lost the title of hero. It is not about your great successes anymore, it is about all the mistakes you have ever made, the ones that make you detestable in the public’s eyes. Now, you are just an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., and a controversial one at that. You are the rotten apple that the direction doesn’t really know what to do with. They might desperately need you — or, more accurately, your skills — but they do not want the world to discover that they didn’t fire you despite what they had announced to ease the minds.
Nevertheless, you had agreed to pretend, and to play Fury’s little games, because you didn’t know what else to do. You have been a little lost since you left the team, and the missions you were regularly sent on were a good distraction, but it has been months now, and you do not have the energy to pretend anymore.
Once this mission is over, the first thing you are going to do is to tell the man that it is over, you are quitting — yeah, you are going to leave the agency, and start a new life. The idea sounds appealing, and warms you heart with an emotion you thought you had forgotten; a will to live. You have waited long enough. You are not sure what you are going to do yet, but you know that it will be better — anything would be better than your current life. It will be a second chance, and a real one this time. Maybe you will change your name, and your face, and so you could be anyone you want to be — someone that no one hates.
But, for now, the only thing you want is some rest. Slowly, your limbs become numb and, soon enough, you are not able to walk anymore, the ground disappears beneath your feet and you collapse into the snow, your legs unable to support the weight of your body.
Maybe that is your second chance, you thought. Maybe the afterlife will be gentle.
It is so tempting to just close your eyes, to let the cold soothe your pain, and take all your worries away. You don’t know how long you have been walking, wandering around, waiting for help that may never come — probably for days. Days that seemed like an eternity. You were trapped in a landscape that you would surely have found magnificent, had the circumstances of your presence here been different.
The snow falling from the sky covers everything, and not an ounce of greenery escapes it. Yet, the sight wasn’t comforting — it was threatening, and scary. It was so cold that you couldn’t feel your fingertips. Everything was white, and all looked the same, turning the forest into a maze with no way out. The trees rose up, mocking and oppressive, as if they were only waiting for the moment you would give up.
Be patient. It will be soon, you thought, as your body hit the ground in silence.
You hardly notice you’ve fallen. You don’t even have the strength to try and get up, but maybe you don’t want to. The snow forms a gentle embrace, and you feel it begin to cover you in white too. Soon, you are going to disappear, and you’ll become a part of the landscape — How is it going to take, for nature to hide your body, to make it seem like you have never been here? A few hours? And how long would it take for them to find you? Probably more time. Who is “them”, anyway? You are not sure someone is coming from you, and despite your hopes, it is more likely that they won’t come. Did you forget that you have no one? If people do not care enough to show up at your funerals, do you really think that they would go to the trouble of looking for you in the middle of nowhere? What an idiot you are, you should know, by now, that there is no hope.
No one is coming.
Even though the idea might sound sad, it brings a small smile to your face, as well as a weird sense of comfort — The peace you’ve been looking for is eventually within your reach. Soon, the world is going to forget your name, and your story. Maybe they won’t even know that you died here, alone in the woods, where no one can find your body.
You have tried to warn them about the situation. A last desperate plea for help to be sent, but you never found out if they got your message because your broken radio had died before they could confirm. Despite being an experienced agent, you have been caught out of guard by the situation — Should you wait for them here, or should you try to find a way back home on your own? The decision was made for you when the enemies started looking for you, there was no way you could escape them by staying in their base. Outside, you could hide more easily, and maybe even find a way out of here.
Yet, the days went by, and all you have done is get lost in the forest, a labyrinth made deadly by the snow and very low temperatures. There is no room for life in this place, and the fact that you survived for a few days is a miracle in itself.
You were perfectly aware of the risks when you accepted the mission. There are always high risks in this profession, and you were prepared to take them all, even the most irrational ones because nothing scared you — That’s your strength, you’ve never shied away from a mission. You knew that it wouldn’t go on forever, and that the risks you were taking would eventually lead to your demise — But who cares? Not you, nor Fury. Maybe it was exactly what you were both looking for-; the man wanted a soldier, and you wanted a way to die with dignity, which is exactly what he offered you.
And so, you accepted every mission he presented to you, worked on every file that was put on your desk without thinking twice about it. There was always a good reason to accept, many lives to save, and countless threats to the world, and for that, you were willing to take the risks that nobody else wanted to take. That’s what heroes do, right? They put their lives in line, for the sake of the population.
So far, you have done surprisingly well, successfully returning from each of your missions. Yet, you knew it was only a matter of time before you ran out of luck. Maybe your current situation is solely your fault, for thinking that you could keep pushing your limits indefinitely — For forgetting that you are not a hero, only human. The blood between your fingers is there to remind you of that. It is red, as the one of all the people who live on this planet, and you can pretend all you like that you are a hero, but you’ll never be able to escape your condition, that of being human.
Yet, there is something oddly comforting in watching your blood staining the snow. Something that cradles you until your eyes close, something that helps you accept your destiny. These bloodstains are the silent promise that peace will soon arrive, the peace you have waited patiently for for years.
— — —
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” the woman screamed, her voice echoing throughout the room. No one dared looking at her, everyone avoiding her gaze. The team had just returned from yet another search mission, one of their last hopes of finding you, only to inform her that they had lost track of you — Again.
The woman knows that she should not have listened to Clint when he told her that she’d better stay in the Quinjet and rest, something she has clearly been lacking in recent days. He even promised her that he would do his best. They all promised, but it was just lies.
Natasha has waited for them for hours, obviously unable to rest because she was so consumed with anxiety. She had walked the whole length of the Quinjet more times than she can count, waiting for their return. When they came back empty-handed, she was furious. Not only they didn’t find you, but above all they had lost the only hint of your presence that they had managed to find since the search began, almost a week ago.
If she had been with them, things would have been different. She would have found you, she is sure of it — because she would have refused to come back before that happened.
Everything now seemed hopeless, and everyone was aware of this. That probably explains why they are abiding her gaze, not to escape her anger, but because they do not want to witness the pain they could read in her eyes. The spy had always been good at hiding her emotions, and no one had ever been able to read her — even after you left, two years ago, she remained composed — but her mask had started to crack in the last few days, and everyone could now see her worries.
Natasha was the one who insisted for the Avengers to come for you, and although she insists that this decision is only motivated by her duty, everyone knows there is more to it than that — Feelings that the years had not erased, strong ones that she had buried, but which were resurfacing since she learned that you were in danger. You are her weakness, you are the only one that can make her lose her temper that easily, it is as if she was suddenly a child again — One with emotions too big for his understanding. It is like two years ago, when she saw the pictures and felt her heart being shattered.
“It is okay, I am sure that we are going to find her,” a voice raised, and it was Fury’s. The man was the only one to be brave enough to do such a thing, the only one who didn’t fear the redhead, even though he was the one who should be most wary. The man is standing on the opposite side of the room, leaning nonchalantly against the wall, his arms crossed — They could have been talking about their next meal, and he would have had the same fucking attitude, she thought. “She is strong, and smart. I am sure she will find a way to survive, do not underestimate her, Romanoff,” he calmly added, but his disastrous attempt to calm the atmosphere has the opposite effect — All she wanted to do was to violently rip the expression on his face, she couldn’t stand the overconfidence she could read on it, and the calmness that didn’t fit with the seriousness of the situation.
“You know nothing,” she replied through gritted teeth, the only way she had found to not scream at him, “you are just trying to make yourself feel better about what’s happening because it is your fault. One of your agents is going to die, and it is all your fault!” she yelled the last sentence, unable to keep her voice low as she felt the rage building inside her. The man didn’t even care, he sees you as an asset, not as a human.
“She is an agent, Romanoff, and one of the best. It is her job to take risks, and she knew them before accepting the mission. This regrettable accident is no one’s fault,” he said, unimpressed by the redhead’s outburst.
“Oh, please!” she exclaimed with a bitter laugh, “this mission wasn’t risky, it was suicidal, and you are perfectly aware of that. No one in their right mind would have accepted it, but she was vulnerable, and you knew it, and took advantage of her state to get what you wanted!” she had moved closer, until she was almost spitting in his face, until the accusing finger she was pointing at him almost touched his chest. She knows the man and his tricks, she knows that he always finds a way to get what he wants. “I hope it was worth it because, if we don’t find her alive, I’ll make sure to bury you next to her grave,” she spitted, not even trying to hide her threat — No, not a threat. It was more than that, it was a promise.
Those are the last words she said before leaving the Quinjet.
They have been looking for you for days, and everyone is painfully aware that the chances of finding you are diminishing with every passing minute. Yet, the woman is not ready to stop, not until she has hugged you one last time, dead or alive. Looking for you was no easy task, and every clue they have found eventually led to a dead end — You are too skilled for your own good, she thought, and it was almost frustrating. If it wasn’t for your skills, and your ability to disappear without leaving a trace, they would have found you days ago. If it wasn’t for your skills, Fury would have never sent you on this mission alone, and he definitely wouldn’t have waited for so long before sending a rescue team.
The woman had to beg him, to scream, for him to accept to give in some pieces of information about how you were doing. He said that you were fine. He said that you were fine, but it was just a lie. He looked at her, promising that nothing would happen to you, but he only said that to get her out of his office. As she later learned, the man had no idea of how you were doing because it was a no-contact mission, and if you gave them news, it would only be to share bad ones.
She heard the message you sent, a plea for help playing on a loop in her mind. Despite the poor quality of the transmission, and the cut words that prevented them from understanding your situation clearly, she could feel your fear, one that made her blood run cold — The woman has never heard you being so scared before.
Fury has waited two days before sharing the message with her. He said that he was positive you would find a way out on your own, and it would be too risky to send a team there when they had no idea how the situation was, but she hadn’t listened to him. All the woman could see was how he almost ruined every chance to rescue you for some ego problems, and foolish confidence — Everyone knows that after two days the chances of finding a missing person alive are slim.
She hates him for that. She hates him for allowing you to die.
Or maybe it is herself that she hates, for letting you down years ago, when you needed her the most — If she hadn't, none of that would have happened, you wouldn’t have taken such risks in the hope of achieving some kind of redemption.
“What do you want?” she asked curtly to the person that was following her. She didn’t need to turn around to know who it was — Steve. In recent years, the man had developed the bad habit of following her wherever she went, convinced that she needed him.
“You forgot that,” he said, and she looked over her shoulder at the jacket in his hands. A wry smile appeared on her lips at the sight of the garment.
“Because I don’t need it,” she sighed, her tone as cold as the forest because of how exasperated she was by the way the man was trying to play hero. Maybe he was one for the rest of the world, but the woman definitely didn’t need to be saved, and especially not by a man that is convinced he knows everything better than everyone else.
“And, how exactly, do you expect to be able to help her if you are freezing to death?” He asked, trying to coax her into taking the jacket — But only someone who doesn’t know her well could imagine having any chance of convincing the woman.
“Did you forget where I am from, Roger?” She asked back, stopping in her tracks to face him, the sudden act surprising the man who almost ran into her, “If you are cold, then you can go back to the jet. No one asked you to follow me. So now, shut up or leave me alone,” she warned him before resuming her journey, the man at her heels. Natasha wasn’t walking in the forest for pleasure, and she couldn’t afford any distraction.
The woman has to concentrate to make sure she doesn’t miss any traces of your presence. These are rare, almost imperceptible, and easily hidden by the snow. She needs to be sure that she won’t miss anything, and that is something she can’t do if the centenarian doesn’t stop rambling in her ears.
Fortunately, the message seems to have got through because not a word was spoken for the next hours, and the two Avengers just walked in silence. Only the snow crunching under their feet broke the heavy silence. It had been hours, and the landscape didn’t seem to change, giving the impression that they were walking in place, or that they were going in circles. No matter where her eyes landed, all she could see were snow-covered trees, but that was until she spotted it. It was almost invisible, but there was no way she was going to miss the only thing that wasn’t white in the landscape — A red stop. A spot of blood, probably caused by a few drops, but that was leading to a trail staining the forest’s perfect white coat.
“Wait! Where are you going?” the man exclaimed when he noticed that his partner had run off, but he got no answer. His eyes weren’t as sharp as hers, and so he didn’t notice the stains straight away.
When he finally catches up with the woman, he was so taken aback by the scene that he was unable to move, or speak. It was so unexpected that he felt like he was daydreaming, and wondered if it wasn’t the cold that was causing him to hallucinate.
There, a few meters away from him, the redhead was kneeling in the snow. She was close to a body whose identity was in no doubt — You. Suddenly, all he can see is the rigidity of your body, the bluish tint of your lips, the snow that is covering your face, but above all the scarlet puddle that is staining the snow, so big that no one could miss it.
“Give me the jacket,” she asked him, her tone firm despite the obvious tremor in her voice. Her eyes never leave you, even for a moment, perhaps because she was afraid that you would disappear, and that she would lose you, again. “Steve. The jacket,” she asked again, but more urgently this time, “give me the fucking jacket, and go get the others!” she repeated, and the shout seems to shake the man out of his torpor because he eventually hands her the jacket before running off, in the direction of the jet.
Natasha didn’t look back, but she heard his footsteps in the snow as he walked away. Now alone, she gently lifts your body, wrapping you in the jacket, and even pulling the hood down your face to protect you from the snow and wind. She can’t help but let her hands linger on your visage, her thumb gently tracing your features, then brushing past your now blue lips to eventually follow the wound on your cheek.
For a few seconds, she allows herself to get lost in the familiarity of your face, but the blood that is left on her thumb after she ran it over your cheek brings her back to reality — You are dying. Maybe you already are, dead. Yet, there is not much she can do before the arrival of the rest of the team, except praying to all the gods whose names she knows, even though she has never believed in them — Please, if you exist, it is the moment to do something good, she thought, and the woman was so deep in her thoughts, trying to keep the last shred of sanity she had, because the last thing you need is for her to lose her temper, that she missed it at first, those words that came out of your mouth.
“What?” she asked, a little abruptly, as her eyes fell on your face. Your expression hadn’t changed, your eyes were still closed, and so were your lips, giving the impression that she had imagined the whisper. “Did you say something?” She nevertheless asked, and several seconds passed in silence. She felt the hope that had made her heart beat being replaced by despair, until she notices the trembling of your lips as they try to come to life. At first, no sound escapes, only a whimper that breaks her heart. “Shh, it is okay, take your time, baby. You can do it,” she quietly encouraged you as she noticed your struggles.
Her hands cup your face, and the warmth of the contact, accompanied by the circles her thumbs are tracing on your cheeks, is comforting. It helps you to ignore the pain for a moment. The gesture even gave you the strength to talk.
“You..,” you started, but this simple word requires so much effort that you need to catch your breath before continuing. “ ..came..,” you eventually added, the second word coming out as a broken whisper, and the woman has to be close if she wants to understand what you are saying.
“Yes!” She exclaimed, “yes, I did. W- We are all here, baby,” she softly replied, her voice trembling slightly because of emotion, just like her hands as she continued cradling your face.
They are here? All of them? You thought, and the realization brings tears to your eyes. The woman can also feel tears welling up in her eyes, and you can see them. Yet, she should not cry. She has no right to cry when you need her to be strong and calm your fears. The woman knows it and yet, she can’t stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. For so long, she had hoped to see you again, prayed for a second chance even though she knew she didn’t deserve it, but she hadn’t imagined that life could be cruel enough to offer her what she most wanted under the worst circumstances — Once again, she was about to lose the most important person in her life.
“Is.. that.. end.. ?” You painfully asked the woman.
You have once heard a belief saying that the Angel in charge of helping a soul to travel to the other side always takes the appearance of the person the deceased loved the most during their life. You wouldn’t have expected anyone but the redhead to be yours. You may have tried to hate her for years, but the truth is that you have been unable to stop loving the woman.
“Because..,” you continued, but were stopped by a violent coughing fit. “Am.. ready.. now..,” you eventually managed to say. You want nothing more than to touch her face one last time, but your body refuses to listen to your desire and, as you try to move your hand, all you manage to do is to wiggle your fingertips — But it is okay, you thought. You are content enough with being able to see her one last time, and knowing that her comforting touch is the last thing you would feel before Death wraps its arms around your body, taking you somewhere where pain does not exist.
“The.. end?” The woman repeated after you, a bit confused at your words, and you can tell because of how her eyebrows are knitted together. “Oh no, honey, it is not,” she whispered, trying to bring you a bit of comfort. “You are going to be fine, I promise,” she said, repeating those words a few times, unsure if they are really meant for you.
“I.. know.., I.. believe.. you..,” you whispered back.
“Then stay with me, baby, okay? Keep your eyes open for me, please. Just a few more minutes, and then everything will be fine, I promise. Do you think you can do that for me?” She started rambling when she noticed that you were struggling to keep your eyes open. Yet, it doesn’t seem to work as she watches you slowly slip into unconsciousness. “Tell me, love, where does it hurt? Could you do that for me?” She attempted, hoping that the question would be enough to ground you, to keep you here, with her, until the others arrive.
“Everywhere..,” you whispered, and it was the last thing you said. You were in so much pain that your whole body was numb, and you could barely feel something, unable to tell the difference between your arms and legs.
You are not sure what happened next, or how long it was before the rest of the team arrived, because despite Natasha’s attempts to encourage you to stay awake, you ended up losing consciousness. The last thing you were aware of was the sound of a vehicle, along with a few words that were yelled, and even if you couldn’t understand what they were saying, you were able to grasp the urgency in their tones. The last thing you remember was being lifted. That is when you knew you could do, before the arms that were carrying you were comforting, they were the promise that everything would be fine now.
After all, she promised. Didn’t she?
— — —
It was all a lie, when she promised that things would be okay now.
Since the very moment you have opened your eyes, after a few days spent in a coma, the world has been nothing but pain. She had promised you a world where suffering doesn’t exist, but had given you the exact opposite, every day being worse than the one that preceded it. Your wounds won’t heal, and despite the weeks that had passed, you were unable to walk properly, or anything without help. Every step you make, every breath you take, are the reminders of what was taken from you.
You had wished for Death. You had waited for the moment you could leave this world almost impatiently, but when the time eventually came, you were brutally ripped from Its arms. When the woman wrapped her arms around you, wrapping you in a comforting embrace, whispering the promise that everything would be fine now, you naively believed her. It is not before it was too late that you realized your mistake. You have thought that the woman you saw was your angel, but it has only been Natasha, a human, with her flaws and mysteries.
Why did she even decide to come?
The question has not left your mind since you opened your eyes. It raises a feeling of confusion, and anger, because there is no explanation you could think of that would make a bit of sense.
You have not talked since they brought you there, at the compound. It is a place that you’ve never thought you would ever see again, but mostly a place you never wanted to return to. At first, they thought that you just needed a bit of time to adapt, but the days soon became weeks, and you remained locked in your silence despite their many attempts to encourage you to say a few words. The only sounds they have heard coming from you are the whimpers of pain that sometimes fall past your lips.
Natasha has tried to speak to you, but you would always ignore her questions and ramblings. Yet, it has never stopped her from trying. Even though she is not sure that you can hear her, even though whenever she enters your room, she finds you looking out of the window, staring blankly. The woman had stopped closing the shutters a while ago, so you would always have something to look at, but you probably didn’t even notice the difference. It seems that your mind is somewhere else, somewhere she can’t reach.
You are far from here, from this room you hate with your whole heart but that you can’t leave despite your desires. A room that is not yours, and certainly not home despite what they may say, and you would rather be anywhere else, even if it means locking yourself in your thoughts.
It is something they would have known if they had asked you, but apparently they didn’t think to ask for your opinion when deciding your future. The Avengers Tower is quiet, and comfortable. Somewhere you are familiar with, and where you would be able to get the care you need — The perfect place. The only place. You have no family, no friends, that could have agreed to take care of you until you are back on your feet. The Avengers may not be your family anymore, but they are the only ones who have agreed to bear this responsibility — Or most likely they felt like they had to. You probably want to be here as much as they want you to be there, and you know that they are silently praying that you will go away soon. You are the constant reminder of what they want to forget.
And so, you have slowly found comfort in your own mind. The only place where they can’t bother you, where suffering and time does not exist. Except that, as the days go by, it gets harder to ignore the woman. She is the only one who has never given up, always trying to talk to you when she comes to your room, even though you have never replied once. Whenever she comes to bring your meal, or your medicine, or help you to change, she would stay a bit longer, rambling about anything that comes to her mind — And you hate it. You don’t care about her last mission, nor do you care about the last movie she has seen.
When she is here, time seems to flow slowly, minutes becoming a painful eternity. You wish the woman would understand your silence as the sign that you don’t want to talk, but it is apparently not a sufficient clue because she has never stopped talking.
The last thing you want is to get out of your caparace, because you don’t want to see what is outside, but it becomes almost impossible to ignore the world when the woman keeps invading your bubble. Her voice, her soft touches,.. they held a new promise — Everything will be fine, she continues saying, but now you know it is not true. You have fallen for her lies one time, and promised to yourself that you wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. These touches didn’t bring you any comfort, only frustration which then turned into anger. You have felt it boiling inside you for days now — Until you couldn’t bear it any more.
“Why?” You whispered. The woman was helping you to put on clean pyjamas, and you think she was rambling about her day when you cut her off with your question.
You are not sure why you have decided to talk that day. You are not even sure that it was your decision, the broken whisper falling past your lips before you could realize what was happening. You wish you could take back your word, but it was too late. The woman was as surprised as you were, judging by the expression on her face. Her lips are moving, but it is her turn to be at a loss of words.
Somehow, the hesitation you could read on her face made yours disappear instantaneously. Suddenly, you didn’t want to stay silent anymore. You wanted to be heard, to get the anger out of your body because you couldn’t bear the weight of it anymore.
“Why?!” You repeated, but this time you yelled the question. At least, it was the intention, but after so much time without talking, the word was nothing like a scream, only a strangled cry. Yet, despite your voice being weak, you realized that you didn’t want to stay quiet anymore — Not now, when you just got it back. Not when there are so many things you want to say, to scream in their faces.
“Why what?” She softly asked, stopping what she was doing for a second. Her hands were resting on your knees as she was talking. You were sitting on the edge of the bed, and had to lower your head a little to meet her eyes. Yet, she doesn’t dare to hold your gaze for more than a few seconds.
You scoff when she looks away, doing the same thing as you can feel tears coming in your eyes. She must not see them. “Playing games, are we?” You said back. Your tone is venomous, your words rude, and meant to hurt the woman, even though she took care of you the past few weeks.
It may sound unfair to treat the woman after all she has done for you — After she saved your life. Yet, she is still the one who dumped you years ago, the one who broke your heart, ruined your life, and made promises she couldn’t keep. The truth is that, if you can’t handle her presence, it is because you know that you don’t want her to be really gone — You shouldn’t, but you want more of it, more of her and her reassuring presence. Her sudden gentleness, after she pushed you away so violently, is building your hopes back up. A feeling that is painful when you know that they would never become a reality.
“Listen,.. I-,” she sighed, but before she could find the right words to answer your questions, you cut her, again. You already had enough, wanting this conversation to end, and now.
“If you can’t give me an honest answer, then I don’t want to listen to you,” you abruptly said, warning the woman that she should carefully choose her next words.
The woman may want to say something, but when she opens her lips, no sound comes out — Because she has no idea what to say. The truth is that Natasha is as confused as you are, the same unanswered questions occupying her mind. She doesn’t know why she went after you, and the lack of response keeps her awake at night.
The woman simply knew that she needed to be there, that her place was by your side, and no word was strong enough to describe how worried she had been about you all this time, a feeling that has lingered inside her since you left. She pretended not to care, tried to bury these feelings as she had been raised to do, but it never really left.
You had poisoned her soul, her heart.
But you know. You already know the answers to your questions, you only asked because you wanted to hear them from her mouth. You want her to admit that her actions were only guided by her guilt, not by the love she pretends to bear for you, because that is the only way you would be able to get rid of the painful hope that, maybe, things could go back to the way they used to be.
But obviously she wouldn’t say that.
The great Natasha Romanoff would never admit that she is selfish, and imperfect.
That she is far from the hero everyone thinks she is.
“Get. out,” you eventually asked the woman. She has hesitated, and missed her chance to say something. “GET OUT,” you yelled when you noticed she was about to protest, “LEAVE ME ALONE,” you added, pushing the woman who was kneeling in front of you with all your strength. When she didn’t budge, it only added to your distress.
For once, she listened to you, and left the room. The door closed behind her with a soft thud, and just like that you found yourself plunged into the silence you’ve been longing for — Yet, it didn’t feel as comforting as you expected it to be.
Somehow, since that day, you have only felt worse. Since you have found your voice again, you only used it to express your anger, yelling at anyone trying to get into your room. It has been several days now, that your cries have been echoing in the tower, making it clear that you wanted to be left alone. If the past few weeks you have been bearing Natasha’s presence, it wasn’t the case anymore, and now the woman couldn’t even do something as simple as knocking at your door without you screaming. You do not want to see, hear, or feel her — Even the mere thought of the redhead was too much.
All of them had tried to step in your room, convinced they would be the one able to calm you down, but everything they achieved was to worsen the situation. Eventually, they stopped coming, giving you the loneliness you thought you wanted — Then why are not feeling better, now that you have what you asked for?
You are torn apart by contradictory feelings and needs, unable to quite understand what is going on in your mind — It is obvious that you don’t want to see Natasha. And yet, everytime someone other than the woman opened this door, you felt disappointment filling your heart. Maybe that is why you yelled, why you were so angry.
When they eventually stopped knocking at your door, you caught yourself hoping for them to come back. Your days are now an endless succession of hopes, built up at every sound of footsteps in the corridor, and disappointments, when you eventually hear them going away. She has proven you right, you thought. She has proven to you that she doesn’t care, and you have used up all your tears crying over this idea, days and nights.
You wish you hadn’t said those things, that you hadn’t screamed at the woman, because you were now missing her presence. Her gentleness may have been annoying, but it has been so long since the last time someone has been this gentle with you, that now it was gone, you were craving to get it back. She gave you a second chance, and you have thrown it away for what? Nothing.
It took a few days before you eventually decided to leave your room. It was not by choice, obviously, and you only agreed to leave the comfort of your bed because of the hunger that was slowly gnawing at your insides. The last meal you got was the same day as the last time you saw Natasha, and you knew you couldn’t go much longer without eating. At first, you told yourself you would endure the pain, that you deserved it for what you did to the woman, but it didn’t make it more bearable, and you eventually gave in.
The plan you made in your mind was easy — Waiting for the night to come, make sure that no one is awake, and then quickly getting down to the kitchen. Only a few minutes, only time to grab some snacks before making it back to the comfort of your room. Yet, you should have known that things never go as they are meant to.
The journey to the kitchen was everything but easy. You have probably been a bit too optimistic about your ability to walk when you thought about your plan. The pain in your leg was so intense that you were only able to take a few steps before collapsing, and had to almost drag yourself down there. Every step felt like running miles, leaving you short of breath. And yet, despite all your efforts, despite your strong will, you were eventually forced to give up when your legs have once again shifted under your weight, leaving you on the ground, unable to get up despite your attempts.
When even crawling felt too demanding, you were left with no choices but to wait for someone to rescue you. Suddenly, you were submerged by an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, and shame, that only worsened when you heard footsteps. You didn’t say anything, and only closed your eyes, hiding your tears behind your eyelids. You were softly praying that whoever is here would ignore your limp figure, scattered on the living-room’s floor, and do whatever they came here for as if you weren’t here.
“Oh sweetie, no.. I won’t do that,” a feminine voice softly said, and you immediately recognize it as Wanda’s. It holds a gentleness that is unique.
Your suspicions are confirmed a moment later, when the woman kneels beside you. For a second, you thought about pushing her away, especially when her hand brushes your hair out of your face. The witch is aware of that, but she also knows that, deep down, behind the walls that you’ve built to protect yourself, you were craving for her attention. That’s why the woman didn’t remove her hand right away, a sad smile stretching her lips when she realized how you were leaning into her touch.
“Are you hungry?” She eventually asked, and you opened your eyes, a bit surprised by the sudden question. You blink, twice, unable to give the woman a verbal answer — But she doesn’t need one. She is perfectly aware of why you came downstairs, and she doesn’t need to use her mind-reading abilities to know that, already aware of how you have been refusing to eat anything for the past few days. “Good,” she whispered, careful with her words. She couldn’t risk you shutting down, again. “Because I was cooking, but did way too much for one person,” she explained, smiling.
It is a lie, and you both are aware of that.
It is past midnight, and the woman was probably just looking for some water. She definitely wasn’t cooking, and is probably not even hungry, but she knows that this innocent lie would help you to feel less guilty. The woman knows how stubborn you can be, and how you would probably have refused if she had proposed to cook you a meal, scared of wasting her time. Yet, she couldn’t let you go back to your room with only a snack. You need energy, if you want to get back on your feet as soon as possible.
“Come here,” she said when you hesitantly nodded, “let me help you,” she added, and you didn’t protest when the woman wrapped her arms around you — Her embrace was soft, and comforting.
“I got you,” she whispered in your mind, “everything will be fine now,” and, this time, the words felt true. It has been a long time since you felt as safe as you did in the Witch’s arms, the woman being the only one who has never treated you differently, or hated you for what happened years ago. She was the hope that things could work out.
THE END. —
| MOODBOARD — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING
| Part one. Part two. Part three. the scars in our hearts (bonus part).
| Taglist — @cd-4848, @chocolatestrawberrykryptonite, @gemz5, @jusnough, @liasxeatt, @m0nsterqzzz, @marvelwomenarehot0, @mrsrushman, @riyaexee, @takeyaki, @taliiiaasteria.
#a spes writing#devious lies#marvel cinematic universe#marvel fanfiction#marvel writer#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff fanfiction#natasha romanoff writing#natasha romanoff angst#natasha romanoff x reader#reader insert#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff comfort#angst writing#no happy ending#angst no comfort#black widow#black widow x reader#avengers#avengers fanfiction#avengers x reader#avengers angst
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jason todd instagram hcs
basics
his account's private
he created it around the same time he first knew about you
yes, he did do it because he realized it's probably weird for him to not have any sort of social media
and then randomly posted 2 things so he looked interesting (the shirtless pic may or may not be intentional and obviously the books to show his intellectual side or whatever)
really really bad with social media and all of the naming stuff (i mean are we surprised)
followers + following
mostly his family, friends, and other vigilantes he's worked with
literally whooped with joy the day wonder woman requested to follow him and he would not shut up about it
only person he's following is you ofc (he has a burner account so he can follow people and make sure his brothers aren't doing stupid stuff but he won't admit it)
highlights
yes he does refer to you as his wife to anybody who will listen (and even if they don't he'll still try to anyways)
it's a lot of photos of you guys on dates, some candids of you, basically whenever he thinks you look pretty (all the time) and you let him post the photo
i don't really see him being particularly sappy with his words so he probably just writes like "with my girl" or "date night" or something simple like that
and then some like classic rock song in the bg
honestly idrk what nunya is, i just thought it'd be funny to use that pic for something
probably him hanging out with his friends or random funny stuff he sees
will beat up a guy and then be like "lol went to check this guy's id and his name is deadass buford"
dog is of course photos of your dog, dog!! you guys share custody of her and you would kill anybody for her
there are some photos of him and dog that you've taken
but a lot of them are of you and dog
he likes to go through his wife and dog highlights when he's away on missions and stuff like that (but also he definitely has folders with way more photos on his phone)
posts
he doesn't post that often
but when he does it's usually of you lmfao
definitely posted the third pic from the bottom up when you guys got together
you took the photos of him for him and convinced him to post his to his instagram for once
the book he's reading is actually one you recommended
you guys have a mini book club between the two of you (you guys just read and annotate books and then trade)
you got him the harley davidson jacket because you figured he should have different jackets when he's going out as red hood and as jason todd or else he's not gonna have a secret identity for very long
he's kind of obsessed with it
accidentally got some sort of theme going on? you think it's so funny because this man didn't even know that instagram themes were a thing
———
dick ver.
#i may or may not have a dick grayson ver in my drafts#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd hc#jason todd smau#jason todd imagine#jason todd fic#jason todd fanfiction#batman comics#batman#dc robin#arkham knight#red hood hcs#red hood x reader#red hood x you#red hood x y/n
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✮ content. dystopian au (quirks are outlawed - think x-men rules), 20 somethings, reader has an explosion quirk that manifested overnight. bakugo & reader are on the run to escape the country to survive. people are forced to be executed when a quirk is discovered with no exceptions.
"Can you give me a damn minute?" you hiss at him with no venom in your tone, but he backs off with a silent nod. Your head is swirling with the revelation that you have a quirk after twenty fucking years. How? You were always told that wasn't possible. Most of them manifest in late childhood, not in someone's early twenties.
"I can call Izuku and—"
"No." You turn toward him, your hands still submerged in the sink. "No one can know, Katsuki. Izuku, Eiji, our parents...no one."
Bakugo frowns at you, knowing logically, you're right. The less anyone knew was the best option, but his heart aches at the thought of leaving his friends and family without a word, disappearing for god knows how long.
"Izuku works for the government, he might be able to help," he argues. "He wouldn't rat you out. Y'know he's got the info we might need."
"I don't want him to risk his position and freedom for me. I can't ask him to do that. Plus, it could endanger any other...'metas' like me if he finds us a place to hide." The way you say 'metas' feels acidic on your tongue. You're right, and Bakugo hates it. More than anything in the world, this is his worst nightmare turned into a brutal reality. He makes his way back to your shared bedroom, grabbing two backpacks and tossing them onto the living room couch.
"Okay, we gotta pack an' plan," he orders aimlessly. He starts muttering aloud as he paces the apartment. "Clothes, medicine, water bottles, nothing non-essential..." he pauses before stomping back into the bedroom, a distant 'fuck' traveling down the hallway to your ears. You take your hands out of the sink and let the water drain, watching it swirl and disappear with a blank stare. The blisters on your hands have finally calmed to a soft pink hue instead of the angry red from earlier. Bakugo pops back out into the living room with some clothes in his hands, dumping it all on the couch in a disorganized pile. He turns to face you, the panic etched in your expression making his heart sink into his stomach.
"We're gonna figure this out, sweetheart. I promise." He sighs deeply before grabbing the clothes to roll them into smaller sizes to fit in the two backpacks. "Can ya go grab our passports? They're in the safe under the bed."
Auto-pilot kicks in as the two of you gather supplies from the apartment: three pairs of clothes, reusable water bottles, generic medicine and bandages, passports, a few treasured photos and a handful of snacks. Bakugo looks around to see if there is anything else you could take, and stumbles into the kitchen to pull open a few drawers. He fixates on the knives, thinking that you two may need a weapon to fight.
"I've got a pocket knife," you remind him. "It's in the bag."
He nods and closes the drawer. One last lap around the apartment gives your life a sense of finality that you were not ready to come to terms with, but are forced to bare. Bakugo gives you a pair of gloves as well to cover your hands, hiding your blisters. You both write letters to your parents to drop in their mailboxes, asking them to burn it once they've read it, and the same for Midoriya and Kirishima.
The two of you grab the bags and haul ass to the nearest checkpoint, praying that your passports will allow you to leave the sector without any trouble. Once it's your turn to scan, the machine beeps with a red light across the screen.
"Step aside," one of the guards says. "Just need to manually clear your passport, miss."
Bakugo's eyes widen with anxiety as you stand off to the side, unable to help you with whatever's about to happen. He waits nervously at the other side, watching you like a hawk through the gate with his fists clenched.
"Wanna explain these?" The guard asks, pointing to your gloves. "Work accident?"
"Yeah," you say nonchalantly. "Grabbed a hot pipe by mistake."
He nods as he types in your information into the system, double checking your credentials. "Says here you work in an office."
Shit.
"It was at home," you insist. "Easier to say it was from work."
The guard gives you a once over while he looks over your file. "You haven't had an evaluation in a year. Get that scheduled. You're good to go."
With a weight off your shoulders, you take your passport and thank him as you head through the gates. As soon as you walk through the last set of detectors, an alert pings to the guards. You powerwalk over to Bakugo, grabbing his hand and whispering, "Go. Now."
A set of guards are yelling something in the distance by the time you and Bakugo are booking it through the desolate outskirts of town, hiding from the onslaught of officers already on your tail. You two dreadfully forgot about the detectors that can sense a quirk factor in a person and how they're stationed at every checkpoint in the nation.
"F-fuck," he exclaims out of breath as the two of you duck into a pile of old rubble. Your face sours, shaking like a leaf as you sit on the ground. The idea of escaping to freedom begins to minimize into a fever dream, a goal that is no longer obtainable. Bakugo holds you as you break down in his arms, questioning your existence and how the hell you're going to stay alive in such a cruel world.
@crushmeeren :)
It was supposed to be a normal morning, one where you two would wake up and have coffee together before going off to your monotonous nine to five hellscapes. It should’ve been quiet and mostly peaceful, but no. Not today.
Your boyfriend is now panicking as he rolls up the singed blankets from your bed, throwing them in the garbage as he finds a duffle bag from the closet, frantically searching for things to stuff it with. Meanwhile, you’re at the kitchen sink, hands submerged in the basin full of cool water. You turn to Bakugo to see him pacing, a concerned look on his face.
“Katsuki, stop pacing,” you order sternly. He stops and makes his way over to you, clearly upset and frazzled.
“Baby, we have to leave,” he stammers, the anxiety building in his guts. “We can’t…you—” he can’t find the words to express his undying fear coming to life. “You have a quirk. We can’t stay here.”
He’s right.
You two aren’t safe here in a country that outlaws all quirks, one where you get executed on sight to prevent any unnecessary violence in society.
“I can’t lose you,” Bakugo whispers, his hands gripping your shoulders. “We’ll leave together and figure this out.”
This morning was supposed to be like any other one, and here you are, letting the coffee burn in the pot as you contemplate your very existence.
#on the run with the love of your life in a dystopian world? sign me UP.#the desperation of survival all while trying to remain hopeful is a deliciously dangerous mix#☆.rei daydreams#☆.bkg dreamscapes#bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#mha x reader#bnha x reader
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dream team back. we’re currently yapping central again (per usual)
both of us are straight up in a tim drake brainrot spiral too!!! he’s a delightful little weirdo. a strange little gentleman if you will.
tim is such a funny little guy!!! he also makes a solid yandere. you can’t outsmart him. you can’t escape someone who can find everything about you. On the upside, I feel like he’d be happy to spoil his darling. also he’d be like, really considerate in weird ways??? I mean like you don’t get privacy (or you get the illusion of it maybe but not actual privacy.)
like yeah you’re always being watched in some way, but the man has committed every single one of your favorites and least favorites to memories. He knows what clothing you like, what specific features you look for in everything, and if he doesn’t, by god, will he learn. He knows your favorite song, and he knows the nickname you went by in elementary school.
Do you think he pretends to be normal and basically sets things up to send reader to be like a little love story?? You meet by chance, and he fell first. He fell a LONG time ago, so now it’s his mission to make you fall too. And Tim Drake ALWAYS finishes a mission. (Even as a baby daddy candidate). He makes himself the best option, even if he’s not the father.
Yandere!TimDrake x PastFriend!Reader x Aiden Cobblepot
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
A/N: Sooooo, I'm finally and slowly going through my ask box and you two may have sparked an idea just for Tim. I might have to do a Part Two for this. (I'm falling into the WIP trap. Help!) But, I love the thought of the Bat Family have competition when it comes to their darling. Gives them a challenge. Plus, I really wanted to use Aiden Cobblepot for this. I've been wanting to sneak him into something.
A/N: We have neglected!Sib!Reader, but what about a Neglected!Friend!Reader? Fun idea. Tim already knowing everything about you only to find you’ve changed and wants to study you all over again. Only this time he’s keeping you! (I’m very fond of Tim. I think he’s difficult to write for me, but I enjoy the little stalker so much.)
Warnings: Yandere Themes, Romantic themes, Tim can be read as kinda platonic, GN!Reader
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
You and Tim were once good friends. Well, he was your best friend. To him you were just a good one. High school buddies that would hang out all the time. At school only. And sometimes the rare gala you saw him at. It was rare you ever actually went to The Manor. You never asked to go. But, you had hoped to be invite.
Just like you had hoped that he might reciprocate that pesky crush you had on him back then. You had felt like it was so painfully obvious. Though it wasn't as painful when you finally figured out he was Red Robin and you waited and waited for him to tell you his secret identity. And, then you would tell him you already figured it out and you would look so cool.
Only, he never did. You both grew distant. You had put so much carful effort into keeping that distance from growing. Inviting him to hang out more. Asking him out for casual coffee. He always said the same thing.
"Oh, damn. I could really go for that right now. But, I'm just sorta busy. Next time though. For sure."
Over and over. He sounded like a broken character. Repeating the same phrase. One that you would hang around after the game was over to reminisce about all the fun adventures you both once had. However this was life not a game. You couldn't just restart and rerun the same adventures.
It made you ache when you finally moved on. When you finally pulled away. Because, Tim didn't even notice you were gone. His life to change. He didn't have to restart anything. You had lost your best friend and he didn't even care. It stung. It stung more than you realizing he'd never reciprocate your feelings.
But, like all things, time moves on and so do you. Leaving the past behind and starting a new game. One that you start to flourish in. Making new friends. Meeting new people. Building closer bonds and more healthy friendships. It had been interesting to realize how dependent you had been on Tim once upon a time. And, embarrassing. You can't help looking back on it with a wince. You almost want to reach out and apologize. But, that would be weird and you both live completely separate lives now. You hardly ever see him at galas now. Mostly because you don't go anymore.
Things, do change. You never expected your new partner would draw Tim's attention back to you. And, in such a terrible way.
You had a rough idea of what you were getting into when Aiden Cobblepot had asked you out to dinner. You figured he was only interested in you for your money or your half-decent looks or your family name and position. You had heard all the rumors about him, but still you went. Mostly, because you knew how dangerous he and his family were. And, you were… presently surprised.
He was a bit of an entitled asshole. But, he wasn't scared of getting dirty. You watched him lead you through the puddles of rain water and Gotham grim in the posh restaurant. He held more concern for you're clothing getting dirty than his, which were more expensive than yours. He paid for the date without flinching at the price. Encouraged you to try his own food from his plate. Talked about fond memories of the things he and his sister got up to as children while asking you about your own childhood.
Admittedly, you were easily seduced because after that the two of you became an item. You didn't even realize how official you were until he introduced you to his sister, Addison, and she was actually nice to you. Extremely nice. She did, however, threaten to kill you if you betrayed Aiden in any way, which was honestly fair enough.
Aiden and you were a bit on the opposite side of things, taste wise and morally wise. But, you both made it work. He continued his life of crime, but made no mention of it around you to keep you legally clean. You shared most of your life with him, letting him have a slight glimmer into normalcy. He liked to take you on fancy dates and show you a good time. You were happy to pull him inside just to spend personal time with each other. Of course, you both made compromises. Aiden had a taste for luxury, and you didn't mind indulging in it. Especially after you beat his ass multiple times in Mario cart. It was only fair you let him take you to a gala some point.
Little did you know that that was how Tim would come clawing and digging his way back into your life.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
For Tim seeing you again was like finding an old precious treasure. His life had gotten so difficult and complicate lately that just a reminded of all those old times was nice.
However, seeing you on the arms of the Penguin's son was a brutal wake up call. What were you doing? Had you hit your head? Was he blackmailing you? Drugging you? Everyone in Gotham could recognize the name Cobblepot and how dangerous they are. And, he remembers how smart you were so you couldn't have willing chose to be there. It's not logical.
For your safety, he reintroduces himself to you. Long time, no see. We should hang out some time and catch up. Only he means it. He can't let this happen. He can't let you fall in with a man like that. You're his friend. He'll win you over for your own sake. Ruin Cobblepot while he's at it because how dare he use you.
Even if you changed. Even if you don't smell the same. If your hair is different. If you dress different. Even if your very laugh had changed pitch, he knows you. And, if anything, he can just re-learn you all over again. It won't take long. He's done it all before. This time he'll savor though. This time he won't let you go as he pulls you back in. You were a good friend, this time he'll make you more.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
A/N: I’m starting to type up Part Three of Pregant!Reader, but I ended up coming up with another start to it with more drama that would be strictly for the BatBoys. The messed up drama in it sounds fun and challenging, but I won’t do it until I finish what I started with the blurbs I have planned included.
A/N: Smalltown!Meta!Reader Part Nine is going to take a while. I have big plans for it, but Pregnant!Reader is kinda outshining it.
A/N: I will post about the LoungeSinger!Reader and another idea I came up with that y’all might like that I’ll add to the concept list.
A/N: There’s a Tony Part Two coming, but it’s only halfway typed and still not that yandere-y. Need to fix that.
A/N: My asks box is full, so I’m gonna try to empty it, but I host Thanksgiving in my family and I’m also a Christmas nut, so I’m gonna be busy. (I have four Christmas trees in my house currently… But I’m not as bad as my in-laws! They had their trees up BEFORE Halloween.)
#yandere tim drake x reader#yandere tim drake#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere dc#yandere batfam x reader#tim drake x reader#tim drake#aiden cobblepot#reader x aiden cobblepot#yandere batboys#yandere batboy#yandere batfam#answered asks#anon ask#luluramblings
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Heyoooo, i just read your say it louder and im in love with that so much like holy, so i was wondering if you could make something kinda similar or something? like maybe logans chasing reader because she stole his cigars and they have a cute moment or something along those lines, maybe end a bit with or with smut? thanks so much babes!
Mine Now | DOFP!Logan Howlett x F!Reader
Warnings: Primal!Logan, Scent Tracking, Shotgunning His Cigar, Marking, Implied Smut, Reader is a Mutant who has invisibility, Enemies to Lovers because I’m a sucker for pain, Takes place at the very end of DOPF when Logan comes back to the future, Pain Kink, Breathing Play, Choking, Claws come out – I repeat the claws come out,
Rating: R – No Minors
Word Count: 4.5K
Author’s Note: Thank you so much for your request! This was a blast to write and honestly? It gave me a good excuse to write for DOFP!Logan! I adore you! 😊 Also completely unrelated side note….you did say you wanted smut, right??? Because I may, or may not, have spaced you said cutesy and went right to horny.
To be tagged in any future work of mine, please fill this out.
“Hank, have you seen her?” Logan asks, his voice layered with annoyance. You couldn’t help but silently snicker as you watched his brow crease, his nose twitch with frustration, his finger rapping at his side impatiently. The way his jaw ticked as Hank narrowed his own eyes at him made it impossible to hold your laughter, even when you were currently pressed up against the wall – a clear view of the situation going down. You pulled your lip between your teeth as you homed in on Logan’s features, eyes glimmering with rage. It was such a beautiful sight to see, one you have been dreaming of for months. Though you’d never openly admit it, everyone knew, all except him. You had to make the chase worth his while.
Logan Howlett is a force to be reckoned with, everyone told you that. When Charles and Eric first recruited you to teach with them in New York – you thought it was a joke, a cruel one at that. Living paycheck to paycheck in a hole in the wall Hell’s Kitchen apartment, dealing with constantly screaming and fighting from your neighbors, it wasn’t where you wanted to be. You were a survivor, you could adapt to anything, but after what you had experienced, you needed a fresh start. Working at a local diner, making shit for tips wasn’t ideal, but it was enough to help you save to leave. Where would you go prior to this? You had no idea, but someplace that experiences winter – you always loved the snow. But alas, that dreary November day a few years ago changed everything; It changed you. Meeting Logan on your first day told you everything you needed to know about him – he refuses to get close to anyone, you wanted to break that.
It's been three years since you first met Logan, two since you found yourself thinking he was cute, a year since you felt yourself falling for him, and six months since you started the cat and mouse chase. At first with how standoffish Logan was to you, you started to resent him. A year it took before that all fell to the wayside; Your feelings had shifted when you found him outside one night, crying as he smoked his cigar. Of course, your mutation left you able to turn invisible, able to watch him, without him knowing you were there. Through the heavy rain your smell was masked, he couldn’t tell you were there. But it made you feel closer to him; He wasn’t some robot who didn’t have emotions. He felt them too strong, which is why when he started to slip back into his mind, he pulled away. Being over 200 years old meant he saw some shit, lost people he loved, it took a toll on him after a while. That day forward you stopped keeping your distance, but instead made the effort to be near him, to show him you weren’t going anywhere.
Slowly you noticed how Logan started to open up to you, telling you stories of when he was young, his first mission with the X-Men. You got to learn a lot about The Wolverine, and come to find out he wasn’t a hard ass – he was sincere, doting, downright admirable. What he dealt with in his years fucked him up horribly to where he didn’t trust people easily – but it didn’t make him less. He always pushed forward and strove for success, to survive. He wouldn’t classify himself as a hero, but he was to you, and he deserved to know. Logan found himself trusting you easily after a year, his lonely nights stuck in his own head turned into game nights with you, strolls through the garden, getting a drink at the bar downtown. He could still be himself, but not have to carry the baggage by himself all the time. Falling hopelessly in love with him was inevitable, but also impossible. Nothing more could happen between the two of you and you knew that – but there was still a flicker of hope in your mind that wouldn’t quiet down. Especially with how flirty Logan had become with you.
Usually, he was like this with Jean and Storm, taking it up a notch with them so he could have the last retort. To say he wasn’t a ladies’ man was a lie, he could pull anyone he wanted to. To Logan it was a game, seeing how flustered he could make him teammates – and he loved to win. With you it was different – it wasn’t low growls and light touching on your arms, no, it was more. At first to started off to be resting his chin on your shoulder, letting his breath stroke the column of your neck. Slowly it moved out to touches; Holding your waist from behind, rubbing his large hands over your lower stomach, slipping his hands under your shirt to caress your hip. Over the last few weeks though, he upgraded to holding your face, running his calloused thumb across your bottom lip, stealing forehead and cheek kisses before heading out. Rogue and Kitty that you two were dating, even Bobby got in on it – but when you stated you weren’t everyone looked at you like you had six heads.
“No Logan, I have not.” Hank let his eyes pan to where you were hiding as Logan turned away for a moment, giving you a small wink as he played along. After all, this was his idea – well, his and Xavier’s. You had overheard a conversation about how Logan’s cigar smell had been wafting into their classroom’s lately – distracting everyone as Logan taught. Charles had the bright idea for you to nab them and hold them hostage, until Logan learned his lesson. You on the other hand, were far too gone to do that. Instead you decided to take the cigars, but make a game out of it. Little post it notes with clues on where you were hiding, you stored them all over his bedroom and classroom, thanks to Scott. Ever since Jean told you just how primal Logan could get, how good of a tracker he was, you wanted to test it out for yourself. What better way than take the one thing he cannot live without? “What happened this time?”
Logan huffed as he ran both of his hands down his face, coming dangerously close to propping his hip against your body. You had to shuffle slightly as he leaned into the wall, letting his head bounce off the wood a few good times. “Little shit stole my box of cigars.” He looked exhausted, frustrated, and downright sexy. Seeing how lost and irritable he was without them made you smirk, causing you to bite your lip harder to suppress a whimper. You noticed how Logan’s ear perked up as you gulped, his head turning softly. Hank noticed this almost immediately and replied with a whooping laugh. “Ha!” You sighed inaudibly as you silently thanked Hank, knowing he used his booming voice to mask your sounds. Holding one of his hands up to Logan, he snickered as he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry that was cruel of me. What I meant to say is, that’s funny.” Hank let out a small chortle at Logan’s distain, being met with a flash of a middle finger, and claw too. “Thanks, asshole,” Logan huffed as he pushed himself off of the wall, running his hand through his hair.
You watched him intently, thanking whoever was listening for making you have the power of invisibility. Being able to listen to everything going down, while Logan has no idea you’re here, made you feel powerful. You heard talks about how your power could be useful, but ultimately not threatening; Now, you’d beg to differ. Though you grew tiresome of the chase, being a fly on the wall versus a real player. It was fun the first two hours this started, but encroaching on hour six – the school clearing out and the sun almost set on the horizon, you grew slightly bored. “Have you tried the library? She likes to hide there.” Hank let out without hesitancy, making your eyes grow wide. It was like an aha moment for you, choosing the most likely place for last. Earlier it was too crowded, people would know you were there the second Logan came looking for you. But now with the young mutants either outside or in the city due to the upcoming weekend, you knew it would be vacant.
“I know her all too well, Hank. That’s the first place I looked.” Hearing Logan say that made your heart flutter, made you feel special that he knew you so well. A strong sigh left your lips as Hank coughed, dreamily staring at Logan as you started to walk backwards. Losing your invisibility for a moment, you stood a few feet behind Logan, walking towards the grand staircase that took you to the library. Waving at Hank, you motioned for it as you smirked, causing Hank to laugh. “You sure?” He asked, nodding behind Logan. As you stood closer to the staircase, you noticed how Logan was sniffing the air – his body growing tense as he spun around. It’s when he laid his eyes upon you that you knew he was fed up. It wasn’t the primal growl and heavy breathing that got to you, but the way his hazel eyes went from green to black in a split section, his chest heaving as he stared at you. “Oh shit,” was all you managed to let out as you turned invisible again, running up the stairs.
Everything was a blur to you, running as fast as your body could take you. Three flights to get where you needed to go seemed like forever, when you were being chased by The Wolverine. He had super human speed, a great nose for sniffing things out, he was at the advantage whilst you were at a disadvantage. Even with scent masking, now that you started to sweat it would make you more obvious, especially when the library was empty. Huffing and puffing as you managed two steps at a time, you refused to look back. But you could hear the stomps of Logan’s boots, clearly taking three steps to match you. Silently you prayed to whoever was listening, to get you to the library safe and sound before Logan got you. The last thing you wanted was for him to pin you to the stairs so everyone could see, that was too on the nose.
Reaching the top step of the library, you managed to sway your way through the wooden chairs and tables, giggling to yourself as you were halfway across the room. Due to the grand nature of the library, especially being two floors, it gave you so many good hiding spots. A circular room to see everything, yet hide in plain sight. As you made it over to the spiral staircase for the second level, you had noticed Logan standing at the entrance of the library, huffing and puffing. It made you snort, seeing how riled up he was. You had to admit, it was sexy to see how pissed off he was, causing a fresh wave of your arousal to coat your panties. Logan seemed to have taken note as he sniffed the air, his eyes cutting across the room straight to yours. “Come on out princess,” he growled, flexing his hands at his side. Slowly you crept up the metal staircase for the second level, taking one step at a time to not elicit any sounds. You let your breathing relax, slowing your heart rate as you kept calm, not needing to give yourself away. But Logan could sense you, eyeing the staircase with every move you made. “I got you now.”
A devilish grin fought to claim his mouth as he pounced over the tables, running on all fours as he landed right at the bottom of the staircase. You managed to get all the way up and around, leaving to the right. Multiple aisles of books covered upstairs, as well as the walls, each window let in the dusk light – showing dust particles roaming the air. Your tell-tale shimmer of invisibility was caught in the light a few times, but Logan was too lost to notice. Finding your perfect hiding spot away from prying eyes, you slotted yourself against the endcap of Psychology of Mutants, knowing no one reads these. You could feel the stagnant beating of your heart at times, wondering if it was due to fear or the thrill of the chase. Maybe it was the aspect of it being bittersweet as well; A years long chase with Logan finally reaching its peak. You knew there would never be going back from this, and that was okay. Stealing his cigars wasn’t the endgame, it was only the beginning.
“You can’t hide forever you know,” Logan snarled as he reached the top of the landing, huffing as he eyed every shelf. You could see him, nor did you want to, hoping to God he chose to head left instead of right. Alas you were sorely mistaken as his heavy steps started to echo right, causing you to curse under your breath. SNIKT, you heard the metallic sound echoing through the room, but also your mind, causing you to whimper. Logan had unsheathed his claws, holding them out. The idea of him using the claws on you, pinning you down with them, holding them against your neck made your body run hot, your arousal heightening as the thoughts ran rampant through your mind. “I will catch you.” It was not a threat but a fact, Logan was not kidding anymore. The animal inside of him was taking over, leaving the Logan you knew behind. This was all caused because you pushed him to the point of no return, and you fucking loved it. The reverberation of his claws against the wooden shelves made you shudder, knowing how close he was getting now.
Biting down hard on your lip, you placed your hand over your mouth, trying to regain control of your breathing. Being right across from the last window on the right didn’t do you any good, especially with the beam of light falling through. If you moved even a millimeter, you were going to be made. It’s then when you opened your eyes to pan to your left that you saw his shadow encroaching on you, his stance wide as his claws were pointed at the ground. Each gruff huff he let out made your eyes roll back, finding it harder and harder to keep yourself hidden. You couldn’t look away from him either, you needed to watch him; How the sweat beaded at his hairline, how his little tufts of hair were wild from pulling at them, how his snarl got more animalistic the longer he tried to look for you. “Where did you go?” You couldn’t describe how Logan sounded in that moment; Primal and animalistic do not even begin to crest.
You focused too much on his tone, completely forgetting your watchful eye on him. When you glanced back after trying to calm yourself, you noticed the 6’2 Wolverine was no longer walking his way towards the aisles but vanished into thin air. Not knowing where he was, made your heart rate skyrocket – panic ensuing all over your body. Goosebumps arose across your skin as you pondered where he could be, afraid to move in case he was lurking close to you. Maybe he went off to the left instead, leaving you by yourself to escape. It would make sense, considering how you heard the creaking of the floorboards on the opposite side now. Letting out a concealed breath, you slowly moved away from the end cap of the shelf, leaving your back exposed. You knew it was a mistake when the hot, stifling air of the closed space became ice cold, a shiver falling down your spine. The sun shifted away in that moment, blanketing the area in darkness, complete with only a sliver of light, not even to cast shadows. The second your back was exposed; All hell broke loose.
Two strong hands grabbed hold of your hips, pulling you back into a solid form. The yelp you let out was loud enough to echo, but not loud enough to raise suspicion. The strain on your powers had gotten to be too much, slowly slipping back into being visible. You huffed out as your back connected with his chest, your hands finding purchase on his muscular forearms. “There you are little mouse.” He snickered in your ear, pressing his nose to the pulse point of your neck. Logan deeply inhaled at the vein, his teeth barring to nip at your exposed shoulder. It felt good to have his mouth on you, to have him seemingly obsessed with your scent. After all, it is what gave you away. Whimpering out, you dug your nails into Logan’s arm, feeling the reverberation of his snarl through your body. You couldn’t speak, you couldn’t move – you were a lost cause. “What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?”
Logan was mocking you at this point, purposely being a little shit to mimic how you have been with him. When it came to his cigars, he wasn’t fucking around. But when he knew it was you who took them, well he wasn’t going to let you live this down. Logan moved from behind you, but kept his hands grasping your flesh. Moving to the side, he pressed your back against the end cap again, bringing you back to your original position. His right hand remained on your hip as his left grasped your neck, pressing against your pulse point, feeling the thrum of blood on your veins. The edges of your vision began to go fuzzy due to the restricted blood flow, but you didn’t care. Logan was putting you right in your place, and you were obeying so well for him. “I believe you have something of mine,” he murmured; His prominent nose pressing harshly against your cheek. The warmth of his breath on your skin, mixed with the cold drag of his claws against your skin made you shiver, loving how it felt too much. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You laughed out, clearly laced with thrill.
Logan didn’t take too kindly to you playing dumb, the tick in his jaw spoke measures. His grip on your neck was heavier than before, using his full weight to restrict your blood flow quicker, your vision developing black dots. “Oh, you don’t?” The challenged in his voice said all you needed to know – he was fucking desperate. There was no hiding it now, he needed you – not his cigars, but you. Gulping down against his large hand, you felt the press of his claws against the back of your neck, pushing through the wood of the bookshelf to lock you in place. He would never intentionally draw blood, or hurt you, but he knew this was your deepest fantasy, all thanks to Jean relaying it. His lips were inches from your ear as he chuckled darkly, groaning out against the flesh. “Do I need to jog your memory?” You shouldn’t have been as turned on by that as you were. Your knees buckled slightly as you almost fell, your eyes rolling back into your head.
Logan took advantage of your eyes being closed to pull his hand away from your hip. The loss of touch made you whine, but quickly you were quieted by his roughened tugs. Grabbing at the edge of your tank top, Logan ran his claws through the fabric to create slits, ripping them open just as easily. Looking down at your jeans, he could see the bulge in your pocket – where you had hidden a few of his cigars. A huff of relief fell from his parted lips as she cut your pocket open, letting them fall right into his hand. He mimicked your hiding and shoved them into his own pocket, moving on to the next. The cool breeze against your exposed skin made you quickly heat up; Logan using his claws on you made you lose your fucking mind. He repeated his efforts with your other side, making matching holes in his jeans and shirt, not caring anymore.
It was as the last few cigars rolled out of your pocket that Logan pulled back, his heavy body heat no longer suffocating you. The contact was missed, causing you to pout slightly. “Boo hoo hoo,” Logan mocked as he watched you, walking backwards to push his back against the window. The sill right below it was begging him to sit, so he took advantage of it. Reaching into his left pocket, Logan pulled out his Zippo lighter – flicking it against his pants to ignite the flame. It was intoxicating watching him, how effortlessly fluid his motions were. Biting your cheek, you watched him intently, his eyes never leaving yours. He pulled out the precut cigar from his pocket and pushed it between his lips, favoring his left side for it to rest between his teeth. Lighting the end until the cherry burned bright, he took a few quick puffs, blowing the smoke out in a cloud around him.
Your eyes could not pull away from him even if you tried, it was nearly impossible. The way he moved was like silk through the wind, so effortless and elegant; He knew he was hot like this. Taking another quick drag, Logan let the smoke fall from his lips as he tucked the cigar back in between his teeth, putting away his lighter. Reaching forward with his claws still extended, he hooked two of the blades into the belt loop of your jeans, tugging you forward. There was about a person’s space between the bookshelf and the window, making it easy for him to grab at you. Of course, your body obeyed his silent command, tripping slightly as you tried to regain your footing. Placing both of your hands on his thick, warm thighs, you licked your lips. The smoke being released from both the cigar and his mouth captured your attention, making it difficult to focus on what he was saying. The way his motions flowed were so smooth, it was impossible to say anything else to him.
Taking a rather large drag of his cigar, he puffed his cheeks out a bit to hold it all in. It took you by surprise, why he was holding it all in his mouth. Retracting his claws on his right hand, Logan grabbed at your jaw like a man possessed, pushing his meaty fingertips into your flesh. The slight ache of his possessiveness made your mouth part, a pained look on your face that you were lost in. Logan got close to you, his lips only mere inches away from your mouth as you whimpered. With your lips parted, Logan mimicked your motions as he breathed out. The soft, heady tendrils of smoke wafted from his mouth into yours, causing you to let them stir. Tobacco mixed with the sweetness of the wrap caused your eyes to dilate, boring into Logan with pure unadulterated lust. There was no mistaking it as he shotgunned his cigar with you, his smirk prevalent. “That’s my good girl.” He crooned, taking in your big eyes, the heat of your skin – basking in your glory.
You blew the smoke right back at Logan while he chuckled, licking his lips to wet them as he took another puff. There was something so intoxicating about how you reacted, it was like watching a painting come to life. From the first day he met you, he knew you were something else – he had to challenge you. Almost four years later and you’re still trying to get with him, he admired it. Finally, the silent love he had for you could be shown, but he wasn’t going to make it easy for you. You made him work to catch you, now you had to work to get what you wanted. “Get on your knees.” The command fell off of Logan’s lips so naturally you almost didn’t catch it at first. Your eyes glossy as you watched him, your brain not keeping up. Narrowing his eyes at you, he cocked his brow as he laid the cigar to the side, watching to see your reaction. “I’m sorry?” You questioned without realizing, your face slack with lust.
Reaching forward towards you, Logan grabbed your neck once more, this time yanking you so close to his face that you felt his breath waft over your features. “Get. On. Your. Fucking. Knees.” There was no hesitation in Logan’s voice as he stated his command, letting his face go rigid to show he was getting pissed off. “Don’t make me repeat myself.” You wanted to, every fiber of your being wanted to disobey him, make him angry so he was rough with you – at the same time you didn’t want to make him mad, not yet anyway. Nodding to him against his hand, you slipped down to your knees easily with a moan, pressing out your wet bottom lip as you gazed up at him.
Logan rolled his eyes as he grabbed the cigar again, pressing it against your lips. It’s when you take a drag of it that he pulls out, putting it in his own mouth once more. With his hand now free from holding his cigar, he quickly flicked open his belt buckle, undoing the top button on his jeans as you took the silent command to pull his zipper down. His erection was stiff against his jeans and left nothing to the imagination. He was big, he was hot, and he was fucking turned on. Watching you with a lustful glow in his eyes, Logan groaned as he watched you, never letting you have the last word: “You may have started the game princess, but I am going to finish it.”
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Tagging: @livelaughl0ve3 @mehjustalasshere @allen-444 @begaytotallygay @tezooks @hughj1d @mami-veracruz @salemslostwitch @karencaribou @princesstarble @dirtylittlefairytales @hbwrelic @mosscrissfemmefatale @pinkanonwriting @craziersarah98 @actuallybridgetjones @silversprings-mp3 @lokidovahkiin
#logan howlett#logan howlett fic#logan howlett fanfic#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x f!reader#hugh jackman#dofp!logan howlett#dofp!logan howlett fic#dofp!logan howlett fanfic#dofp!logan howlett fanfiction#dofp!logan howlett fluff#dofp!logan howlett smut#dofp!logan howlett x reader#dofp!logan howlett x you#dofp!logan howlett x f!reader
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infinite (bakugou x reader)
summary: You meet every Friday at the same bridge with a mysterious boy to exchange stories about each other's week. You've never exchanged names, but the connection between the two of you grows stronger—until he fails to show up one day.
pairing: bakugou x gn! reader
genre: fluffy angst?
word count: 1,103
a/n: I'm back, but a little rusty! please let me know what you think so that I can improve my writing :)
It had happened one Friday. Then the next. And the next.
Suddenly, an entire year had passed, and the unspoken meetings had become permanently engrained in my routine. In my life.
Every Friday at 8pm, I would walk to the bridge and meet him there. We would talk for hours about everyone and everything - turns out being perfect strangers makes for perfect conversation.
But this Friday was different. Maybe it was the gravelly tone of his voice, like the side of an unpaved road. Or maybe it was the dark glitter in his red eyes, hazy yet warm, like wisps of smoke rising from the ashes.
“The stars are infinite.” He finally spoke after several moments of silence, the wind ruffling his hair. A blonde tendril of hair fell over his left eye. I resisted the urge to push it aside, to touch.
“And so is the sky. And the moon.” I let his voice wash over me, before looking back up at the sky, at the stars that spanned the entire universe. The same stars that were brightly reflected in his eyes.
“But we are ever so finite.” I murmured, instinctively finishing his thought. It was a debate we had often - how small we truly were in significance compared to the infinite spanning world.
He nodded, his eyes still on the sky. Then it suddenly hit me. While I knew this man’s stories and had glimpses of his thoughts, I didn’t know something as simple as his name. I opened my mouth to ask, but when I turned, he was already gone.
It’s okay. I could always ask him next Friday.
Except next Friday didn’t come. Or the Friday after. Each day I went to the bridge, hoping, praying, that he would heed our unspoken agreement. Yet he never came.
Finally, one night, I decided this would be the last time I would wait for him. 10 minutes slowly melted into 2 hours, until it was obvious he wasn’t coming and that l was an utter fool. I left, face flushed and arms shivering from the biting cold. My legs moved all on their own, right towards the nearest bar.
“Espresso martini, please.” I murmured, ready to take my mind off of everything.
While those talks may not have meant anything to him, they had meant nearly everything to me. Maybe I had just hoped that he had felt the same; that he had also found relief in talking to a perfect stranger. My mind swirled with memories - his low chuckle, sarcastic dry wit, infuriating smirk.
“Your drink.” The bartender cut off my thoughts, raising an eyebrow as I downed the drink and immediately ordered another. I looked away, a flush already rising on my cheeks, before catching sight of something familiar.
Red eyes.
He sat in a booth, nursing a beer. And though he was surrounded by people, his slouched posture and insistent foot tapping revealed his true feelings. He looked back at me and stiffened. We stared at each other, time seemingly frozen. Then he stood and walked towards me, maintaining eye contact.
When he sat down next to me, I looked away. Some part of me felt betrayed that he was spending his Friday nights like this instead of with me. Another part of me felt relieved that he was alright, that he was well.
“Bakugou Katsuki.” He murmured next to me. His name. I stiffened.
Katsuki? Like the hero Dynamite’s name?
“I should’ve told you sooner but then I got scared. That you’d treat me differently because of my occupation-”
“So you decided to leave?” The words come out sharpen than I intended. I feel rather than see him flinch.
“There were emergencies. I was on call for the past couple of Fridays.”
“And today?”
He let out a deep sigh.
“I was there. Watching you.” He paused, as if waiting for me to interject. I stayed silent. He cleared his throat.
“I thought about how life is so finite. How I’m so finite. But then, there’s you.” He turned to me, trying to look into my eyes. I refused to meet his gaze.
“You made me feel like it doesn’t matter if life is finite, as long as I can spend more time with you. And suddenly, Fridays didn’t feel enough. And that… that scared me.” He stopped for a second, swallowing. I met his eyes, and this time they were burning hot, like red coals being stoked in a fire.
“And then- well, then I thought about how if life is so finite, then you shouldn’t be wasting your time talking to me because there are so many other people that are better than me. People that could make sure you’re happy and safe.”
“Bakugou…” I expected the name to feel foreign on my tongue, but it somehow felt just right.
You do make me happy. Make me feel safe. I opened my mouth to speak, but the words died in my throat. He continued.
“Putting myself in danger to save others is easy, and it’s my job. But being with you? That would be like painting a target on your back. And I could never put you in danger for the sake of my own happiness. Ever.”
I understood. It made sense why he wanted us to remain perfect strangers. This way we could still be in each others lives without the risk of villains finding out, finite together. When things remained finite, it was safer because you knew the boundaries and limitations. You knew that at some point, it would end.
While I understood, I also didn’t agree.
“If we’re finite anyway,” I whispered hoarsely, finally meeting his gaze. “Then screw it. Let’s just do it.”
“But-”
“You make me happy. And you will continue to make me happy. Finitely or infinitely, it doesn't matter to me.” I peered into his eyes, pleading. We stared at each other for a moment, and I knew.
The stars were still in his eyes. And they were infinite.
#bakugou x reader#bakugou oneshot#bnha x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou fic#mha#bnha#bnha imagines#bakugou imagines#bnha oneshots#aha x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugou scenarios#bakguou fluff#bakugou angst#bakugou x reader angst#bakugou x reader fluff#bakugou fanfic#bakugou fanfiction#bakugou x reader fanfic#bakugou x reader fic#bakugou#katsuki#mha bakugou
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♯┆FIGHTING FOR FIRST ── P. JONGSEONG.ᐟ SMAU
PAIRING: college student!jay x college student fem!reader
SYNOPSIS: you and jay have been at each others throats for the whole time you've been enrolled at decelis university. the reason for the rivalry in question? the #1 rank on the academic leaderboard in the university. you went through your whole high school life being #1 on the academic leaderboard. you meet jay, who also had the same upbringing in high school. things then start to turn into a constant battle. leaving you constantly in second place and jay in first place every rank update.
GENRE: smau plus written parts (will be specified), college au, enemies to friends to lovers, academic rivals, pining, he fell first but is in heavy denial in the beginning (sigh), fluff, crack
FEATURING: enhypen (all members) p1harmony (keeho) riize (sohee & seunghan) aespa (ningning) + mentions of other idols
WARNINGS: kys/kms jokes, swearing, friendly bullying, inappropriate jokes, mentions of alcohol and drinking (done wisely)
SCHEDULE: every tuesday and friday (will upload early sometimes)
TAGLIST: open ! just send me a ask :D
STATUS: 11/19/2024 - ongoing
PLAYLIST: APT rose ft. bruno mars, all i wanted paramore, r u mine? artic monkeys, poison nct dream, you get me so high the neighbourhood, i wanna be yours artic monkeys, something about you eyedress ft. dent may, my kind of woman mac demarco, glue song beabadoobee, cherry waves deftones, sextape deftones, you nctdream
A. NOTE: noticed not that many people write smaus for jay, so here i am…. first time making a smau as well. i hope you guys like it !! i think thats all i have to say. enjoy this :3
PROFILES.ᐟ ─── (bad bitches + jake)
(thing 1,2,3,4,5) (bonus)
CHAPTERS ─────────୨୧⋆ ˚
one. IM GONNA (K)eep (M)yself (S)afe
two. YAY JAKEY
three. im sooooooooooo drunk rn hehe
four. my girls face card never declines
five. why is bro thirst trapping on my timeline rn..
six. and im not fine shyt
more tba....
fighting for first taglist (open)...
@idontknowhowtomakeusernames @right-person-wrong-time @jakeyverse @minthoons @punchbug9-blog @starfallia @heartheejake @ikeulove @rairaiblog
©myjjongie 2024
#myjjongie#myjjongie fighting for first#myjjongie masterlist#enhypen#enhypen social media au#enhypen smau#jay x reader#enhypen jay x reader#jay smau#enhypen x reader#park jongseong#park jongseong x reader#enhypen writers#enha x reader#park jay x reader#jay social media au#enhypen texts
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your next partner (PAC)
hello beautiful creatures! i'm excited to be back with another pick-a-card reading. i've been feeling romantic lately, so here goes a reading regarding your next partner. hope you enjoy it!
as usual, pick the picture that you feel most connected or drawn towards (pile 1 - up and left / pile 2 - up and right / pile 3 - down and left / pile 4 - down and right)
happy reading!
#pile 1
wheel of fortune - eight of wands - knight of cups - six of swords - seven of coins
when i started to shuffle for this pile’s reading, “so high school” by taylor swift started playing, so maybe that means something to you. although this is a person i think you’ve known for a while, the wheel of fortune here shows a new stage of this relationship, and paired with the eight of wands this shows a period of excitement, passion - the typical honeymoon phase we all go through once we start a relationship. maybe you have been through a rough period emotionally, things haven’t been great for either one of you, and here comes a calmer time, you’ll have someone to rely on that’ll help you with all the love in the world. this relationship seems ideal, but there are a few cards here that advice making an effort to communicate correctly with each other.
when i asked about the appearance of this person i got freckles! i also see that this person has a baby face or is a pretty childish person, someone with a lot of energy. i feel like they have lighter hair as well. you can also expect this to happen literally at any moment now! this is something that is already happening and in the works.
#pile 2
the hanged man - queen of cups - knight of cups - six of coins - nine of cups
“only love” by ben howard started playing when i started writing, and i feel like that’s how this connection feels like! this is someone new in your life, and your day to day will start to feel like this song. with the hanged man opening this reading i feel like this is someone who came in to change your perspective and opinions about love, and even about self love - but this card also tells you to be patient and advises not to rush into new relationships without being sure first, as not everyone will fit you. love is definitely on the horizon, just wait for it to come to you, as someone who is willing to listen to you and that will offer you all the attention you need is on the way. the six of pentacles here is asking you to give without expecting anything back, it advises you to be generous with yourself and the universe will be generous to you as well! a strong connection is coming
when i asked about this person i got the five of coins, so this is probably someone who has gone through hard times and knows that feeling cared for is important. this is someone who has dark eyes, probably darker skinned as well.
when i asked for timing, i saw that the winter time may be of significance, but this still may take a while to come to you.
#pile 3
two of swords - ace of cups - six of coins - queen of swords - five of swords
wow, you may be indecisive regarding a relationship or taking a new step into a relationship, and you may be looking for advice. i think that this relationship has a great potential of being a safe space, somewhere you’ll feel loved and supported. you may be indecisive because you don’t want to lose your independence - but your partner understands how that is important to you and will respect it. there’s an emphasis on the important of communication, as you may have problems due to a lack of it, and what i see here is that you’re struggling to make things official because you’re afraid - talk to them! have the scary conversation. they understand.
when i asked about appearance i got the emperor, which makes me think this is a person who has a lot of authority. i also think they’re someone with dark eyes but lighter hair.
timing wise, regarding having a conversation or taking a new step, i’d say something will shift within the next ten days or the next two weeks.
#pile 4
three of coins - three of wands - six of cups - king of coins - page of wands
i think someone you’ve had a crush on has looked your way! someone you’ve liked for a while is now noticing you in a romantic light, or maybe someone you tried to have a relationship with in the past is back. whoever this person is, they’re not 100% committed to you, they want to be your one and only. you may feel sparks, have a lot of passion and fun with this person, but you need to avoid being clingy or too jealous of this person, reminding you both how everyone needs space. the three of wands is an amazing card here, as it shows you good luck on your romantic choices.
i think this person takes a great care of their appearance, especially their hair.
i think this is going to become official in a few month, maybe around pisces season.
hope you enjoyed reading!
#astrology#astro notes#astrology observations#astro observations#astrology notes#zodiac#timeless pac#tarot pac#pac reading#pac#pick a pile#pick a card reading#pick a card#romantic pac#romantic pick a card
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Free Hugs
Request: Apparently Kathryn does a back tickling thing when she hugs people, could you write something with that with the reader? 🤭
Note: Thank you for this request! I haven't seen a video of it, so I'm not sure how accurately I portrayed it. Hope you enjoy! :)
Word Count: 1052
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You were currently a TV show host, one who interviewed many celebrities to promote their upcoming movies and shows. Today you had Kathryn Hahn on as a guest and were preparing backstage beforehand.
You were a bit more nervous for this interview. You had interviewed plenty of A-list celebrities, but Kathryn still made you star-struck at times. There was a certain poise and confidence to her that you were in awe of. She knew just exactly what to say while maintaining her composure and always supported the right causes. She was just perfect.
You snapped out of your daydream when they notified you that Kathryn had arrived. Before interviewing them on TV, you would usually meet with them a few hours before filming to go over boundaries, questions, and which topics they were okay with sharing and which ones you should avoid.
You walked through the door and saw Kathryn arriving with her team, her hair up in a fancy updo, accompanied by a sleek pant suit that fit her perfectly. For being in her 50s, she didn’t look a day over 30.
“Hi Kathryn, how are you doing?” You asked, stepping forward to accept her hug.
“I’m awesome!” Kathryn cheered, hugging you tightly.
You suddenly felt her nails lightly tickling your back, causing you to quickly pull away from her embrace.
“What’s wrong dear?” Kathryn asked, genuinely concerned.
“N-nothing,” you stuttered, turning bright pink.
Kathryn was good at picking up on social cues, and this time she knew right away.
“Did that tickle?” She outright asked, smiling at your lack of eye contact.
“No!” You insisted.
“It’s okay if you’re ticklish, I just like doing that to people. It breaks the ice and also gives me a secret weapon,” Kathryn teased, wiggling her eyebrows at you.
You were too overwhelmed with embarrassment, so you quickly changed the subject and asked her to sit to talk about the interview.
Kathryn was there to promote her new show ‘Agatha All Along,’ which was streaming on Disney+. You asked her about how much she could reveal about the plot and for her to provide a little bit of background from WandaVision to help viewers understand when and where this show is taking place.
The two of you chatted more, as Kathryn also gave some insight on her personal life now that she was done filming for the show.
“Thank you so much for meeting up with me before the shoot! We’re gonna be on in 15 minutes, so if you need to use the restroom or anything go ahead!” You said, as you both got up.
“You’re not going to hug me again, are you?” You asked cautiously.
“What? You afraid I’m gonna tickle you again?” Kathyrn smirked.
“No…I just wanted to ask…” you trailed off, as Kathryn giggled at your embarrassment.
“Watch out, I just may embarrass you on live television,” Kathyrn playfully threatened.
Your cheeks burned again, imagining the embarrassment before it even happened. There was no way you could ever show your face again if that happened!
The two of you eventually came out onto the set, where there was a live audience, surrounded by lights and cameras everywhere.
You introduced Kathyrn to the crowd, and allowed her to answer some questions about the new show.
“So, what is like bonding with your coven? Were there any difficulties?” You asked her.
“Well, we all got along really well in my opinion, but with any new cast there’s always some ice to break here and there, but by the end of it you’re family,” Kathryn said.
You tensed slightly at the use of the phrase ‘ice to break,’ remembering that she had used that phrase earlier when she tickled you.
Kathryn knew you were gonna quickly change the subject before she could answer how she broke the ice, so she quickly continued before you could answer.
“There were a lot of little things I would do to break the ice, including giving free hugs,” Kathryn stated confidently. You knew you were trapped and would have to ask her more, or else it would be an abrupt change of subject and would make you look like a bad interviewer.
“I bet your cast members loved your hugs. Personally speaking, I received a hug from Kathryn before this interview and it was wonderful!” You said, as you had turned to the crowd to speak.
“They absolutely love them! Except for Aubrey, she hated them because I would give like a little gentle back tickle when I hug people and it would drive her nuts,” Kathryn said while laughing, as you froze, not expecting the forbidden t word to be dropped like that.
The audience laughed, and you joined in awkwardly, not knowing what to say next without stumbling over your words.
“Do you guys want a demonstration?” Kathryn asked the audience, as they all shouted in unison. Your eyes widened, as Kathryn got up.
“You want a free hug?” Kathryn asked you. You knew the ratings of your TV show would go up if you went along, but you knew the embarrassment would last forever. Maybe I can just hold my reaction in…you thought to yourself.
You walked into Kathryn’s hug, expecting the tickle to be around the lower part of your back, which she had done earlier. You braced yourself for it, only to be caught off guard by her nails tickling the upper part of your back.
You gasped and jumped away, squirming your shoulders away from the ticklish touch.
The crowd laughed, as Kathryn chuckled in glee.
“Well there’s one thing you and Aubrey have in common. Both ticklish on your backs,” Kathryn teased, giving your side a poke before going back to sit in her chair.
You tried to suppress a yelp and jump by quickly covering it up with a cough.
“Thanks for that demonstration,” you said sarcastically.
“My pleasure. It’s something Agatha would most definitely do, so I’m trying to give the crowd real authenticity,” Kathryn stated, making the crowd laugh.
You managed to get through the rest of the interview, but your head was still flying around the thought that Kathryn had tickled you in front of everyone. Rest assured, you would be staying off of social media for the next week to avoid the circulating videos.
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#kathryn hahn#kathryn x reader#kathryn hahn x reader#lee!reader#ticklish!reader#ler!kathryn#agatha harkness#aubrey plaza#rio vidal#kathryn hahn tickle#tickle fic#marvel tickle fic#mcu tickle fic#mcu tickle#agatha all along#marvel tickle#kofi#buy me a kofi#buy me a coffee#commissions#commissions open#writing commissions
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May i pls request fem!reader x sevika? I've been fallen for her since 3 years ago and after her scenes in ep 2 i was so in awe and giddy i need to read more of her 😭🤲
𝐒𝐄𝐕���𝐊𝐀 ( 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐄 ) — 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐂𝐒
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ 𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝖙𝖞𝖕𝖊 :: bullet points / short drabble
˚ ୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝐤𝖔𝖗𝖎 :: im absolutely in love with sevika too so this was really good timing!! ive been wanting to write for her and viktor for the longest time :3 i hope youre okay with me doing general hcs, i didnt know if you wanted anything specific so i just did this 😋 also, sorry if she turned out ooc, this is my first time writing for arcane characters 😓
[ masterlists ]
ᥫ᭡ sevika will be the most protective gf ever—anywhere you go, she’ll always be 2 steps behind looking out for you!
ᥫ᭡ its not that she doesn’t think you can take care of yourself, but its just who she is. she gets worried, especially if you’re wandering around in the undercity
ᥫ᭡ she will 100% be your biggest hype woman. whenever you wear something new for date night, you can see her pupils dilating when looking at you with a small smirk on her face
ᥫ᭡ rather than hand holding i think she would be someone to wrap her arms around your waist, almost possessive in a way. when shes not doing that though, she would want you to have a hand holding onto her biceps
ᥫ᭡ will never ever let you tag along with anything work related. shes pretty dead set on separating you with her dirty work, for your safety
ᥫ᭡ some nights when it gets bad, she just wants you to hold her. don’t say anything. don’t ask her questions. just be with her until the next morning
ᥫ᭡ she loves to bring you back little trinkets or accessories from her missions that she thinks you’ll like / will look good on you. she would never admit it, but her heart always skips a beat when she sees you wearing something that she got for you herself
ᥫ᭡ lives for teasing/banter arguments. she finds it so hot when youre all riled up and mad at her, because she knows that she’ll make it up to you later anyways ( WHAAAT 😦 )
ᥫ᭡ she has insane mood swings on her period. one time, she accidentally snapped at you while you were trying to tell her about your day, and she felt so incredibly shitty for like 2 months
ᥫ᭡ sometimes, she gets nightmares of you dying in her arms due to an enforcer attack. its a reoccurring dream, and whenever she jolts awake in a cold sweat, you reassure her that you’re still there. you’re alive, and you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.
ᥫ᭡ sevika finds it adorable when you give her little nicknames. “vika”, “sevi” , “baby” , and “big mama” ( hehe ) are her favorites
ᥫ᭡ tries to have a date night at least once every two weeks. of course she would like it if it happened more often, but with her schedule its just not possible. when you two do go on dates though, she makes sure to go all out and make it the most enjoyable experience for you
ᥫ᭡ her coworkers are so surprised at how soft she has gotten because of you. she has something to fight for other than zaun now, and once they get their promised land then she’ll finally settle down with you and live through the rest with you by her side
𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 © 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐢𝐢𝐬. 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 !
#arcane x reader#arcane#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane x reader fluff#sevika x reader#arcane sevika#sevika arcane#sevika x reader fluff#sevika x reader arcane#sevika x female reader#arcane x female reader#arcane fic#sevika fic#sevika fluff#arcane fluff#arcane x chubby! reader#arcane x chubby reader#sevika x chubby reader#sevika x black reader#arcane x black reader#arcane x black female reader#sevika x black female reader
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Ur so pretty — Jamal Musiala.
Pairing: Jamal Musiala x Fem!Reader
Summary: Jamal was your first love and with that came the fear of abandonment. But, Jamal was here to stay and he made sure you knew that.
Word count: 890+
Disclaimer/s: light angst , comfort , and mostly fluff !
A/N: this is my literal wife like im in love w him also listened to a lot of ‘ur so pretty’ by waisa project when i was writing this so. yeah.
When you and Jamal met for the first time, you were accompanying your friend on a double date. You weren’t looking for love or anything close to that but your friend was nervous and needed the comfort of your presence.
The problem lied in the fact that you had never dated before. Sure, you’d been on dates, but nothing had ever surpassed that singular date.
Jamal had swept you off your feet—literally. He wasn’t looking where he was going and tripped you. You’d nearly fallen on your face when he caught you, arms wrapping around your waist so he could hoist you back up.
The moment your eyes met you felt an unfamiliar warmth gather in the pit of your stomach, nerves rattling your body. He made you nervous in a weird way you’d never felt before.
It had taken two weeks for him to contact you again, and you were waiting.
Now, six and a half months later, you were dating—had been for four months now.
Sitting on the couch in his living room, you patiently waited for him to get home. He was training late today, so you’d opted for making dinner and sticking it in the fridge for him to heat up when he got home. The TV played a show you recently started; ‘Scandal’, which you were so engrossed in you didn’t realize Jamal had arrived.
He stood in the entry way, watching you curiously with a grin. He liked to watch you when you weren’t aware of him—not in a creepy way, he just loved to see you when you weren’t conscious of people and relaxed.
He’d been standing there for too long so he knew the second he spoke you’d spook. So instead he slips back out the door as quietly as possible, opening it and calling out for you, “i’m home!”
You turned around with a wide smile, grabbing the remote and turning off the TV. “Hey! Hi, how was practice? Dinner is in the fridge!”
“Practice was fine, exhausted though. What’d you make?” Jamal asks, wondering into the kitchen where you meet him. He pulls you into a hug, pressing his lips to yours.
Smiling into the kiss, you mumble, “some healthy crap, your dietician would be very pleased with it.”
Jamal pulls away with a breathy laugh, “you can just make something we both like, i’ll just hit the gym extra hard later on.”
You shake your head. “Oh, no. I already made my own delicious food. That healthy stuff, that is only for you.”
Moving to the fridge you open it, taking out the food, and placing it on the counter. “You may heat it up while I make myself a smoothie.”
Jamal’s arms wrap around your waist, your back pressing against his as he places a few kisses on your shoulder. One thing about your boyfriend was that he was very affectionate. He hadn’t always been so touchy, but he made more of an effort when he learned about your doubts in your relationship.
Although those concerns had dwindled, he hadn’t strayed an inch. He comforted you with everything, he said the sweetest things. Essentially, he went above and beyond to prove that what he felt for you was not going away and time soon—if ever.
“Go make your food.” You giggle, wiggling out of his grasp. “I need my smoothie.”
“You and your smoothies.” Your boyfriend tittered. “Is it Strawberry or—“ You give him a look that has his lips twitching, “right. Why do I even bother asking.”
Reaching for strawberries in the freezer, you smirk. “Exactly. Have I ever told you how much I love and adore your full fridge and freezer? You always have everything.”
“Yeah, well, I try.”
As the microwave hums while heating up Jamal’s food, you prepare to make your smoothie. Conversations flow between the two of you even as he eats and the whirring of the blender—which you stop every few moments to add to the conversation.
“How’s your show? By the way?”
Your face lightens up, “so good. I’m on season two right now. When I finish the whole show, i’m forcing you to watch it.” Your finger points in his direction with a teasing tip of your lip.
Jamal’s eyebrows raise, “oh? Well, anything for you.” His words brings a prideful smile to your face.
“And this is why I love you!” You quip, your smug look falling the second you comprehend what you said. Too early. Too—
Jamal’s expression doesn’t miss a beat, his eyes flicker up to you. “I love you, too.”
Oh! Thats a comfort. Sort of?
“Was that too early? I should’ve waited.” You swallow thickly. You watch as he slips off the stool he was sitting on, wiping his hands on his pants, and walks around the counter to reach your side.
“It’s perfect timing, actually.” He assures, his hands cupping your jaw to pull you into a loving kiss. “I. Love. You.” He mumbles each time he pulled away.
A dreamy sigh leaves your lips, “you are so fortunately—for me, perfect.”
The taller man smiles, “and i’m so fortunately, your boyfriend.” Your heart grows three sizes as you meet his eyes. Any lingering doubt or insecurity you held about the future of your relationship died with that kiss and his words.
likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in any of my future posts.
ᝰ.ᐟ tags @halfwayhearted @ar4ujos @sakashq @joaoflms @hrts4havertz @spidybaby
#jamal musiala#jamal musiala x reader#jamal musiala x you#jamal musiala x y/n#jamal musiala x fem!reader#jamal musiala fluff#jamal musiala one shot#jamal musiala imagine#blurb#football#fluff#bayern munich#fc bayern
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Why do people perceive John's love for Paul as unrequited? I confess that I fail to grasp this perspective. Paul is absolutely infatuated with John in every sense of the word. The difference between him and John, as Paul himself has stated, is that John voices his feelings out loud, while Paul excels at self-preservation; he knows how to navigate the rules of society while also enjoying the thrill of breaking them.
For the same reasons why Hanya Yanagihara wrote her eye wateringly boring novel "A Little Life." In "A Little Life" Yanagihara writes a Stephanie Meyer-esque novel about boys being turned gay via SA perpetuated by adult men and how they eventually grow up and become super rich and also they all have vague disabilities that cause a lot of pain but never get full definition because defining them would be inconvenient to the narrative. (Disabilities are debilitating and Yanagihara wanted to write about Sad Boys Who Were Turned Gay By Child Rape But Also They Are Rich And Go On Globe Trotting Vacations Everywhere All The Time While Being Depressed.) The point of "A Little Life" is not to tell a Sad Gay Man Story about the fallout from CSA, it is to depict a sexually exploitive miseryfest that uses disability as a way to pad the word count and add a layer of fancy fondant to the masturbatory and self indulgent text that makes it look more interesting than it is.
I bring this up because I think the phenomenon are related. There has never been a good justification for why Paul is magically indifferent or blind to John being a gay simp especially when you have so many examples of Paul being a gay simp for John in return. BUT it does make for an even sadder and more exploitive miseryfest where a Sad Gay Man died Forever Alone because he was so in love with a Happy Heterosexual Man who could never Return His Love and that is what a lot of people want. That's the only reason the narrative has any steam IMO.
It's just trying to make a sad story and make it even worse: more sad, more tragic, more gay, etc. If John and Paul were mutually attracted and in love with each other than that means they may have had stretches where they were happy together and that's unacceptable to a certain kind of mind. Because the point is the emotional and sexual gratification of seeing a Sad Gay Man Suffering, not to respect the Sad Gay Man and his story and the events and decisions that lead to his predicament. If Paul reciprocates John's love then the John and Paul love story turns into a mundane tale about a first marriage that started out happy but didn't work out because the two spouses grew apart over time. The point of "A Little Life" is the same, there's nothing genuine or cathartic about the Sad Gay Men or the Sad Painful Disabilities, they only exist so the author can circlejerk with her readers about how enlightened and noble they are. Needing the misery becomes all consuming to the point that entire rest of the story, the three dimensional nature of it, gets destroyed and swept under the rug. It's too real and some people just don't want to engage with that.
There's a mundanity to McLennon. Yes there was all sorts of stuff happening but at the end of the day they were just another couple trying to muddle through life together. The soulmate-ness of it all didn't save them when push came to shove. There wasn't a clear path forward for them to make up and get back together even as friends. This is much harder to bear for some people because it shows how the simple act of living your life can carry you away from the person who loves you most. John and Paul found each other but they still drifted apart eventually and stopped wanting to be together. The romance novel didn't end with "happily ever after." The fact that it was so relatable and downright boring is something a lot of people don't want to know or hear about. How can they jerk off to it? It's not miserable or indulgent enough.
Reducing their dynamic to Sad Gay Man Who Is Forever Alone and his Evil Oblivious Heterosexual Partner Who is Blind To His Yearning flattens it, makes it two dimensional, and thus makes it a lot easier to cope with and masturbate to, emotionally and sexually. And look there may be some people who genuinely believe this and don't type that narrative out with one hand, but they're outliers and outliers get discarded.
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Marriage Headcannons
Yoongi x reader
Masterlist
A/n: I felt inspired by anon who requested bf and marriage hcs for Jimin, so I thought, why not write Yoongi too?? >_<
Yoongi didn’t rush into marriage, but when he asked you, it was one of the most heartfelt moments of your life. It wasn’t over-the-top or flashy—it was just the two of you, a quiet setting, and his honest feelings laid bare.
His vows? Oh, don’t even get started. They were the most Yoongi thing ever—simple but deeply meaningful. He didn’t overdo it, but his words carried so much weight. You cried. He tried not to, but his voice wavered :((
He’s not one for grand, public displays of affection, but marriage changes the game just slightly. Suddenly, Yoongi is a little more open with his affection, especially when it’s just the two of you. Little forehead kisses, an arm around your waist, or even pulling you into his lap when you’ve had a long day.
Yoongi thrives in the quiet moments of marriage. Sunday mornings where you both sit in comfortable silence, sipping coffee, or evenings spent tangled on the couch while he writes music and you do your thing. He loves that you both can just exist together.
If you’re someone who works late or gets tired, he makes it his job to take care of you. Expect him to drag you to bed when you’re overworking or leave notes reminding you to eat. Yoongi's way of showing love is in the little acts: fixing your desk chair, reheating your tea, or draping a blanket over you when you fall asleep on the couch.
This man secretly loves domesticity. Cooking dinner together? Cleaning up while you sing along to music? He doesn’t show it outright, but he cherishes these moments because they make him feel at peace.
Physical affection in marriage? Oh, he’s a bit more relaxed about it. He’ll pull you close in the kitchen just because. Run his hands through your hair while you talk about your day. Sleep with his arms securely wrapped around you every night. Marriage makes him more willing to show these soft parts of himself.
Arguments don’t happen often, but when they do, Yoongi values resolution above all else. He’ll give you space to cool off and then approach you gently, prioritizing communication. He hates the idea of going to bed upset with you.
His favorite thing about marriage is knowing he has someone who sees him for who he is and loves him, not because of what he does but because of who he is. He’d never take that for granted.
He might not say “I love you” constantly, but he shows it in so many ways. Staying up to comfort you when you’re upset, remembering the smallest details about you, and always being your biggest supporter.
Yoongi also adores the idea of growing old with you. He might joke about how he’ll just nap his way through his later years, but deep down, the thought of sitting with you on your porch, still as in love as ever, is something that warms his heart.
Wedding anniversaries aren’t flashy for him—they’re intimate and personal. Maybe a nice dinner, a handwritten note, or him playing a song he made for you on his piano. Yoongi’s love language might not be loud, but it’s profound.
To Yoongi, marriage isn’t about perfection; it’s about partnership. Supporting one another, building a life together, and being each other’s safe space. That’s what makes it so beautiful to him.
Requests may be made. Only SFW. Surrounding BTS only at the moment.
#bts x reader#bangtan fluff#bts fluff#yoongi#yoongi x reader#min yoongi#yoongi fluff#min yoongi fluff#yoongi headcannons
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This may be a silly question, but in your personal opinion is it a bad idea to offer up a “bonding” moment early on in an enemies to lovers trope? (Like possibly within the first two chapters)
I don’t want to take away from the tension, but I’m having a hard time picturing one of my MC’s willing to spend any sort of time with this other person if they don’t give them a small something to work with (they’re meant to be brought together by reluctantly teaming up to achieve a mutual goal).
The thing I worry about is ruining the classic movement of a story like that by revealing a little too much about a character too soon. This is my first time writing enemies to lovers and I really want to get this right.
"Glimmer of Humanity" Too Early in Enemies to Lovers
I think rather than making it a "bonding moment," per se, you would want it to simply be a "glimmer of humanity..." something that shows the MC that maybe the enemy isn't ALL bad... that maybe there's a little bit of good in there somewhere. This can be enough of a tipping point between your character choosing to team up with them or not. For example, let's say you have a situation where you have Team Good, Team Bad, and Team Even Worse. If MC's Option A is to fight Team Bad and Team Even Worse alone and almost certainly fail, but Option B is to team up with Team Bad and fight their common enemy of Team Even Worse, having seen that "glimmer of humanity" in Team Bad can be enough to make Option B "the lesser of two evils." At least with Option B they have help and there's a chance (albeit a small one) that Team Bad won't completely screw them in the end.
This way, you're not creating a bonding moment too early or otherwise throwing off the tension between the MC and the enemy. You're just making it believable that they would even consider teaming up with Team Bad, because there's some glimmer of hope that it will turn out okay. More hope, anyway, than fighting both enemies all alone.
I hope that helps!
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