#I may be deeply emotional but some asks are not worth my energy haha. The invalidation is not worth it. ANYWAY thats few and far between

[tubbytarchia]

I like you to just for your art but you speak your opinions that I’m too scared to agree with publicly

Eg: that one artist always getting ccs to comm them and sosig

Unfortunately I am too full of emotion and feelings at all times to not speak my mind haha. It makes me happy if it offers anyone food for thought, or if it's vocalizing things that some people would be too afraid to speak of themselves. That's what the inbox is for too, please use me as a confessional lol (insert salute emoji)

[nogacheloveka-blog]

The Bad Sanses somehow ended up in the Backrooms. №10

next 11

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This is the translation of the another post from Russian to English. I understand English, but it is very difficult for me to write in English, so I asked chat GPT to help me. I have corrected some parts, but there still may be mistakes.

I think I'm getting lazy: they're so small on such a big space, Nightmare and Error are hidden. But I'm happy with the picture I made.

And haha, a little celebration. 10 pictures!

I really hope my English skills are enough to properly convey what's happening here=)

After some time, the group had to leave the hospitality of Temmy (Nightmare could finally breathe out with relief. The positive energy that was so overwhelming for him was finally bearable). The level 4 was safe enough, just like the level 0, with the exception of natural light sources like windows. The weather on the other side of the glass would sometimes change. No monsters or people were met on their way. No people or monsters were met for most of the time.

As always, Error sent his strings ahead of the group to know what was waiting for them. Nightmare's sensitivity to auras of negative emotions was decreasing, which was unpleasant. But this could be explained by the distortion of space in this place and, what was even more worrying, the absence of refreshment. Thanks to the group and occasional negative coming through the pipes, Nightmare didn't have to worry about his survival. But this was nothing compared to the refreshment of the whole multiverse. He was already feeling less aggressive and egoistic. At first, this was part of the survival strategy, and now it was starting to sink in deeper.

All these small external changes. All these internal changes. He was a little concerned that he didn't notice anything similar in the others.

During the time they were idle, Error started knitting himself a new scarf. He was deeply wounded by how foolishly he had lost his previous scarf, unable to stay focused for long and appearing even more agitated after his attempts. The tangled yarn was thrown away in a long drawer of one of the computer tables.

Killer was hiding. His absence looked very strange, but Error was keeping an eye on him (thanks to the blue thread in his zip-up jacket, Error knew that Killer was actively crafting something ).

Dust Horror and Cross were systematically organizing the records. From time to time, Error joined them (observing how Destroyer could do creative teamwork was quite fascinating). Nightmare checked the work done. While doing this, he even managed to recognize some unsigned maps from the notebook he had bought from Temmy.

At last, the paperwork was finished. Nightmare tried to map the route, but was disappointed by some contradictions in the information he had received. Some levels were reached through a mysterious "noclip". (Even after the explanation from Error, this way of moving seemed unreliable). Sometimes the exits and entrances on some levels didn't match what was indicated on other levels. He concluded that it would be much easier to find ways to freely move to levels-crossroads than to move one level after another.

However, it was clear that in this place, there were familiar things to all the Sanses "shortcuts": people who couldn't control this phenomenon, described it as touching objects that would take them to some levels or places. This was useful. It seemed that this dimension had taken some pieces of AU or a couple of original timelines. (It seemed artificial.)

Also, it was worth reconsidering one's attitude towards supplies. Previously, all the Almond Water was collected for Horror, Cross, and Killer, who needed food the most. Even though Dust didn't feel hungry (which worried everyone), he sometimes took water from Cross. According to new data, they all should drink it from time to time. This became a problem. But so far, there were no issues with finding Almond Water.

They lingered long enough in one place, it was time to continue their journey. Their goal now was

to find the old staircase and reach level 5.

Just simple wandering as before. The bad guys bid farewell to the Temmy store location.

Along the way, they encountered worn rooms with flickering lights, spacious coworking spaces with the constant hum of computers and the ghostly sound of keys clacking, empty rooms flooded with light from panoramic windows. On one of the local nights, they even saw a full moon. The journey seemed safe.

Until Error's strings stumbled upon what they all didn't want to find.

A warm, tall body containing a human soul. Reflexively, Error pulled on the strings towards himself, as he had done before, but almost immediately stopped, alerting the group to his discovery. Almost immediately, the strings touched several more people, apparently drawn by the cries for help from their captured comrade.

Error rarely encountered adult people (children were enough of a hassle), so he didn't overreact to Nightmer's suggestion to observe their opponents for the first time and then disappear.

The room where they were looked empty at first glance, but Nightmare and Error found a hidden place behind decorative panels on the ceiling. The rest of the group hid in the shadows of columns and the room wrapped in blue strings.

For a while, no one showed up. Then, cautiously emerging from around the corner, heavily armed men appeared. They carefully scanned the area, gradually moving along the room. The group of people maintained silence and communicated through gestures, unseen by the skeletons. Only the faint creaking and metallic clinking of their gear gave away their presence.

During this time, Nightmare studied the emotions of the people. They fed him fear with a bitter taste of hope. They were scared of the new and unknown, yet somehow it also made them hopeful for something. Digging deeper, Nightmare sensed their very light and delicate madness, similar to Error's madness when he first emerged from the Antivoid. However, people seemed to handle it much better or had grown accustomed to this state. Nightmare realized that their group could potentially exploit this in the future.

Fortunately, there was no trace of magic in these people. Their DETERMINATION was no greater than usual for humans. Yet there was still something inexplicable about them... In the multiverse, there were AU's consisting entirely of humans. This dimension-killer was made up of AU's in part. But these people. There was something absolutely off about them. They seemed denser. It reminded him of Horror, whose bones were mostly made of real bone tissue, not magic like the others.

Error observed the movements of the people, not to pay attention to thoughtful Nightmer. He really wanted the fight to begin. T0 h3 W1N aga1n.

T0 r1s3.

Th3y w3r3 ju5t a p1l3 0f r3j3cts.

Th31r s0ul5 W3r3 n0t r3d. H3 c0uld g1v3 th3m a nICE blu3 m0m3nt. M4K3 th3m u53ful. 1f th3 ab0m1nabl3 an0mal13s ar3 1nd33d R̶̛͇̖̊rcccce̷͔̝̭͛eǟ̴̢͙l̸̡̰͒ḯ̵̤̊̚еtttt̵͖͈͝͠yyyy̴͔͑,~-----

Error went into reboot. Nightmer removed his hand from the face of the Destroyer. It seemed like the only right decision. Quite rough, but effective. He failed to notice the escalation of Error's mental problems and should have left this place as quickly as possible while they all still had time. Now definitely was not the time to provoke a fight.

The piercingly loud screech from Error caused a flash of fear in the frozen group of people. And Nightmare fanned this flash into a flame of panic. Someone among human group screamed, dropping something. Someone ran with a loud sound. Someone pressed against the glass, from where the "sun" light poured, wildly surveying the room. Bustle began, in which Nightmare's subordinates slipped forward, and he, taking Error with him, teleported.

Fragments of blue threads swayed behind them, causing another flash of horror at their backs.

Nightmare belongs to Jokublog Killer belongs to RahafWabas Dust belongs to Ask-DustTale Horror belongs to Sour-Apple-Studios Error belongs to CrayonQueen Cross belongs to JakeiArtwork

[roggenmuhme]

Hiya! I see that you did some Steven Universe stuff a long time ago (I may have stalked your page...) and I was wondering if I could have some soft yandere headcannons for a gender neutral reader with Pearl (or multiple pearls)? Maybe the reader is someone who’s fairly physically affectionate? I just wanna smooch her ya know

For requests check my pinned post! :)

Don’t worry anon, my page is made for stalking haha :D And I’m so happy to get a SU request, you don’t even know! I did Pearl and Yellow Pearl separately, but if you wanted the poly!pearls format and/or other pearls send me another ask and I’ll work on it (don’t worry about my reqs being closed, I just wanna make sure I didn’t misunderstand you haha)

Yandere!Pearl with a physically affectionate darling

It’s definitely one of the first things that draws her to you. Your easily given affections don’t make it hard for her to get closer to you and she finds herself closer and closer every time you see each other. A hand on her shoulder while you’re laughing, a pat on the back, a heartfelt hug here and there - you treat her with more ease and familiarity than the other crystal gems and she’s perceptive enough to notice. On one hand she wonders why you’d favor her out of all of them, but she enjoys the attention - it’s nice to be special to someone, she knows that too well. She revels in every smile, in every lingering touch, no matter the intention behind it.

She falls quicker for you than she’d like to admit and she’s so, so eager to please and make you happy. Pearl invites you over to Little Homeschool as a help for her lessons, agrees to try out your hobbies or help you in any way she can.

Your favorite healthy snacks? Look, she has prepared them for you already. (It’s no matter, really, and you humans need the nutrition and energy, after all!). You’d love to go to a concert or a function, but you’re too afraid to do it on your own because of stranger danger? She’ll go with you, even if she has to sit on the sidelines, awkwardly watching you. Your excited smiles and hugs are more than enough to make it up to her!

Even though she quickly develops a crush on you, she doesn’t want to accept just how deeply she feels for you. It’s painfully obvious to others except for you and her. She’s getting teased by Amethyst almost daily over how much she spoils you and bends over backwards for you.

But what looks so easy and innocent to any outsider, is quite complicated for her. Crushing on someone and having those feelings returned? It’s been quite a while for her, even when she let loose some time ago… She can’t explain it, but you’re different and she just wants to make you happy. But she isn’t as innocent and stupid as she was before.

You being human doesn’t make it easier for her. She’ll become a bit more clingy, a bit more cheery around you. It’s all a facade, because deep down she grows more worried about you. You’re so kind, so nice, so welcoming and so, so fragile. You should stay with her, where she can watch over your safety, wouldn’t you agree? But she doesn’t want to impose, so she keeps worrying in her head. Expect frequent good morning texts and constant reminders of getting enough sleep and eating healthy. If you let her, she’ll cook for you, smother you in any way imaginable.

You’re just too cute, aren’t you? And so, so precious!  

Yandere!Yellow Pearl with a physically affectionate darling

Oh, she hates it at first. Not the attention, of course. She deserves that, after all.But why do you need to touch her so much? Verbal praise is sufficient. Please, stop ruining her outfit with your sticky human fingers!

Once she learns that touch is a way humans express special affections and appreciation, she gets a little less irritated at you always doing… that.

But just because she isn’t the biggest fan of your little antics, don’t think you can just go and treat others the same way. She is special, precious and she should be the only one you see in that way. (It’s the truth, after all.)

She gets jealous easily and doesn’t realize it. At all. You’re talking to someone else, gem or human - it doesn’t matter to her, she’ll intervene and drag you away from them. They’re not worth your time, she can do whatever they’re doing way better. You should also be more careful with how you spend your time - after all, you’re human and you only have so much of it on earth.

She’s one to brag to you. She definitely wants to show you her world - she’s out of her element on earth and have you ever seen Homeworld? She’s trying to impress you with all of her little stories of the past. She was - is, really - very important, don’t you see?

For you, she’ll try to get into human technology. That little ‘smartphone’ you have may not be as efficient and well-made as gem tech, but you love it so much and she loves it that you give her attention even when you’re not together. Expect many pics and selfies from her during the day (and a flood of texts when you can’t answer immediately because you’re preoccupied). That silly snapchat picture you took of you two some time ago? The one with the ridiculous animal ear filter? It’s her screensaver and homescreen now. If you ask her about it, she’ll blush and tell you she just liked the way she looked in it.

It takes her a long time to even recognize the feelings she has for you, but when she does, she falls even harder. You’re her first love and she feels like she never wants to let you go, ever. It’s hard to come to terms with her emotions and she has a lot of work to do in that regard, but that doesn’t stop her from obsessing over you. She tries to become the most important person in your life without damaging her pride - not an easy task, but she can definitely shoo away some of your friends with her snobbish behaviour. Slow progress, but still progress. Over time, she starts to initiate physical contact on her own, but rather subtly. And not only because she likes it - she wants to show others that you belong to her.

They’re just not good enough to be with you.

[smoulderingocean]

Osblaine Week Day 2: Headcanons

My list is long (though far from exhaustive haha- I could really go on forever), so it's under the cut. May we be blessed with more details in the future so we don't have to keep headcanoning them.

Holly is left-handed, just like her Uncle Josh. Nick is deeply moved by this small connection they share, feeling as if Josh lives on in her.

Nick and Holly's birthdays are both in February and are just a few days apart, with Nick's birthday coming just three days after hers. To him she is the greatest possible gift that he could ever receive. And the closeness of their birthdays has a deeper meaning too- his Mum and Josh had August birthdays that were just a few days apart.

Nick's family couldn't always afford it because money was tight and it was hard to get time off of work, but every couple of years they tried to visit Mackinac Island for a week in August to celebrate those August birthdays. Those handful of summer visits are among Nick's most cherished memories because it was the only time that his family was truly happy.

Growing up Nick was really close to his Mum. She was a very gentle, kind, and sweet person, and raised Nick to be the same. She was the head and heart of their household. When she died the Blaine family fell apart. Nick's father and Josh both struggled to function, falling deep into a pit of depression and spiralling further after they were laid off. Seeing no other alternative, Nick, himself deeply depressed, stepped up and tried to fill her place. He never felt like he was enough, because no one could ever replace his Mum.

Because he took on the head of the household role at a very young age, Nick's natural caretaking personality grew stronger, something that follows him for the rest of his life and is part of why he is such a good partner and father.

June sleeps cold while Nick sleeps hot. One night, very early on into their relationship, Nick wakes and looks over at June. He can tell from her face that she is cold and not entirely able to relax enough to sleep more deeply and get enough rest. So Nick gets out of bed and gathers his spare blanket from his trunk, tucking it carefully around her. After a few minutes, he sees June relax and fall more deeply asleep. When she awakens a couple hours later, very well-rested, she is deeply moved by the simple gesture. A gesture that hadn't been given to her in years. From then on Nick has the extra blanket out for her wrap up in. It's unspoken, but to both of them that blanket belongs to her.

Nick is a night owl while June is a morning person. This dichotomy works really well within their relationship as it allows for balance. In the mornings June wakes up early and goes for her run, then gets the kids up and going while Nick makes breakfast. Then at night Nick puts the kids to bed and stays up later than June to read, listen to music, watch tv, or just sit on the balcony and relax.

June enjoys the mornings because they're a new start, while Nick has a harder time with them because getting everyone up and going and out to where they need to be means they'll be apart for most of the day. Meanwhile Nick enjoys nights more because it's a winding down- the family is together and able to spend some quality moments with each other. At night Nick is most able to take care of everyone; there are no burdens or expectations, just love. The nights are peaceful and calming for him. For June, the nights are challenging because she finds it difficult to wind down- she enjoys being busy and being on the go, and the nighttime family rituals are the opposite. Together, Nick and June manage to balance each other out- June's drive and energy get Nick going in the mornings while Nick's tenderness and unwavering support help June wind down and relax at night.

Together, they sleep really well because they feel safe and so their subconsciouses are able to let go and relax. Without the other they struggle to get enough rest.

Nick is the cuddler of the two and really craves those moments in their relationship. The quiet warmth and comfort means so much to him and it's what he really looks forward to each night because he feels safe and loved.

One of June's favourite things to do is to watch Nick read. She finds it -the glasses and the lips pursed in concentration and the emotions on his face- incredibly sexy and she often finds herself unable to resist temptation and ends up distracting him, which Nick enjoys immensely. Nick also knows that she finds the whole thing erotic and so he puts himself into situations where he knows June will notice just what he's doing.

When they were living at the Waterford house, Nick never had to say that June was welcome to read his books, the acknowledgement that she was free to choose went unspoken between them because Nick knew that she didn't need his permission and June knew that she didn't have to ask; it was a natural thing because his apartment is was close to a home that she had in Gilead (he's her home) and so those books were as much hers as they were his.

In the Boston Globe they finally got to spend a lot of real downtime together. There they found many books, dvds, and cds that had been long-banned, left forgotten in the hastily abandoned office tower. In their free hours together they got to be a normal couple. In those hours they found that they both had an unapologetic love for Harry Potter and they enjoyed getting into enthusiastic debates about the subject. (Also, they both agreed that Nick is a Hufflepuff and June is a Gryffindor.) June loves Friends, while Nick teases her that it was before his time and that he preferred Glee, which June hated because she thought the singing was terrible. Both share a love for boy bands, with Nick's music tastes being more varied than June's and he introduces her to many good songs. Both are avid readers, but June is especially and Nick reads each and every book she hands to him.

Together they learn all sorts of things that accompany a normal, happy relationship; June can't cook worth a damn while Nick is skilled at batch meals like soups, stews, and chili. Nick loves coffee and tea equally (he's especially fond of a good Hong Kong-style milk tea, the kind his mother use to make) while June is exclusively a coffee person. Nick's favourite chore to do is laundry and June is amazed to find out that he'd often take the laundry off of Rita's hands whenever he could as she despised it. Meanwhile June's preferred chore is doing the dishes, because she doesn't contribute by and so she likes to do her bit by washing up.

In the Boston Globe, Nick finds a copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and reads it in its entirety, an action that makes June cry from emotion.

While in the Boston Globe, Nick does everything he can to fulfil June's pregnancy cravings, including trading his valuable illicit liquor for her beloved Twinkies. He loved being able to do that for her because it made her smile and Nick lived for those smiles.

Both Nick and June share a commonality of being bookworms as children, a trait that they pass down onto Holly. Their favourite weekend family activity is a trip to the library.

June was in the 'in' crowd in school while Nick was more of a loner and was very quiet. June ran track and was on the swim team, and was good enough to get a partial scholarship to a good school where she majored in English. Nick never played any sports (though like all good Detroit boys, was a big hockey fan and knows how to skate, and Nick's parents, especially his father, were such big fans that they gave their sons hockey-related middle names- Joshua Gordon [after Gordie Howe] and Nicholas Stanley [after the Stanley Cup]) but he excelled at English and social studies. He couldn't afford to go to university, something that broke his father's heart as he wanted to give Nick the chance to go that he never got. (Josh meanwhile, was very artistic and was particularly good at photography- one of Nick's prized possessions is a print of one of Josh's photos. Like Nick, he couldn't afford to go to school.)

After getting into Canada together after getting Hannah out of Gilead, June and Nick and their family move from Toronto to Kelowna, finding great comfort in the mountains and also appreciating that it helps Hannah recover from what she's lived through as the mountains are comforting and familiar to her.

My biggest crack headcanon is that Nick and June have the same blood type (O+) and it was Nick's blood that was donated to help June after her haemorrhage. Nick volunteered and this action was seen as so good and so 'godly' that it was a small element in pushing Nick further up the ladder. He knew this, but selflessly gave her his blood anyway, because it was the only way he could help.

[iridescentides]

Hi Dia! I just saw your tags on that embarrassment emotion post and sorry if this is strange to ask but could you tell me how you went about not being embarrassed anymore? Because I think I’m embarrassed in my life the majority of the time and I would love to not be, because you’re right it’s not useful, but I’m struggling to think of how to just stop being embarrassed haha. Anyways I think you’re great and so positive and I love all your posts!

hi friend! thanks for coming to me with this question!

its not at all a weird thing to ask, and embarrassment is something lots of people struggle with!

OVERCOMING EMBARRASSMENT: beginners’ tips

so personally for me, the embarrassment thing was part of a bigger process i went through when i was 15 where i worked heavily on developing confidence. i took a step back and looked at my life and realized that all the things i was afraid to do weren’t actually that bad, but i was so scared of looking stupid or being perceived badly that i didn’t try anything. i spent every day for the next 2 years actively pursuing things that made me uncomfortable (especially in social contexts) in an effort to grow and put myself first, and it was the single most important thing i have ever done in my life.

all of this to emphasize that: the best defense against embarrassment is confidence. if you truly value yourself, believe in yourself, support yourself, and forgive yourself for your faults, nothing can hurt you. if you lay the correct framework for confidence, you will become immune to embarrassment.

but!!! i know that’s easier said than done. you don’t just wake up suddenly as a confident person. loving yourself takes conscious, active work, and small steps. it has to be a goal you’re committed to every single day. when i was 15 i read a million self help articles and put into practice all the tiny things that they said. i googled every personal problem you could imagine (“how to feel better about your body,” “how to ask for what you want, etc”). it was uncomfortable at first, but extremely worth it.

(you specifically asked about embarrassment so in an effort to stay on track, we’ll move on from the general idea of confidence. (but if anyone wants like,, a masterpost of my best confidence tips, lmk!))

the number one quick suggestion i have for overcoming embarrassment: treat yourself like you treat other people. when we “other” ourselves, it clouds our judgement. we think the whole world is looking at us all at once, that everyone cares sooo much about what we’re doing, but that’s never true. in acknowledging that everyone on earth is literally the exact same as you (no better or worse), it becomes a lot easier to think about this rationally.

when someone else does something “embarrassing,” how long do you think about it after it happens? if some stranger spills their drink everywhere in public, do you go to bed that night still thinking about it? is it still on your mind the next day? the next week? probably not!

sometimes when our friends or family members do “embarrassing” things, we like to joke about it in the moment, and maybe we bring it up for a good laugh later. if your sibling peed the bed when they were 12, maybe that’s something you’ll bring up again at family gatherings later to jokingly tease them, but its not like its on your mind every second of every day. and it definitely didn’t impact how you see your sibling, or how much you care about them.

so if we can understand why we don’t pay much attention to other peoples embarrassing moments, why cant we apply that same logic to ourselves? if you find yourself feeling embarrassed about something that just happened, stop and ask yourself the following questions:

does this truly matter to the people who saw/heard me do it? (maybe)

will it still matter to them tomorrow, the next day, or the next week? (probably not)

if i saw/heard someone else do the same exact thing, how long afterwards would i still be thinking about it? (probably like 10 minutes max)

if i saw/heard someone else do the same exact thing, would that affect my overall opinion of them? (probably not)

deeply entrenched in the feeling of embarrassment is our fear of harming our own image. we think that other people will see us as weird or dumb because we stumbled over our words that one time, or got someone’s name wrong, or tripped over a crack on the sidewalk, when realistically, these are universal human experiences. once we externalize the personal issues we’re having, acknowledge that everyone in the world has done the same type of thing at some point, it becomes so much easier to forgive ourselves and move on from the moment. don’t be so hard on yourself for being human! that’s what everyone else is, too!

none of the “embarrassing” things you do ultimately affect your value as a person, to yourself or to anyone else. and if people are holding these things over your head or bringing them back up often enough to make you feel bad about them, then that is a reflection of their own insecurities. those people are dying to keep you preoccupied with your own embarrassing moments so that you don’t notice theirs. and those are the people you don’t need in your life!

the last thing i will say (and i touched on it in the tags of that post) is that logically, embarrassment serves no purpose whatsoever. every other emotion we have (happiness, sadness, anger, fear, etc) has some practical function in our lives. when we’re angry, we can express our dissatisfaction to others and cause changed behavior. when we’re afraid, we usually take extra steps to keep ourselves safe. when we express sadness, we let go of things that may be weighing us down. and when we’re happy, we make positive impacts on the world. but embarrassment??? she does nothing for us!

because embarrassment is such an internal experience, the only thing it does is slow us down. there’s no way to express embarrassment and achieve a better outcome. embarrassment, like regret, does nothing but keep us trapped in the moment we would like to forget, for much longer than we wanted to think about it. ultimately, it doesn’t change what has already happened. there is no way to go back in time and undo things! BUT you do have control over yourself and your reaction in the moment, so your energy is better spent trying to move forward productively from that event.

i really hope this helped!!! please know that i’m super passionate about (self help) subjects like this and i’m ALWAYS down to talk or give advice about it!!! my ask/DMs are always open!

[ashenhawk]

Headcannons for the seven obey me brothers on what they will do if their MC was heart broken from a recent fail relationship?

Hey my friend! ^^ I’m so sorry I took so long with this! I hope its to your liking. c’:

Lucifer: 

Even demons as mighty as Lucifer know that a broken heart is nothing to scoff at. His heart was broken when Lilith died, and while its not really the same situation... the pain he still feels in his heart makes him care for you.

While he’s unsure what he can do to help, and he isn’t sure how to approach the subject of comforting them, you know that he cares deep down by the sad look he gets when you bring it up. 

He may seem like a sadist through and through but wishes to find a way to help you heal. 

His surprisingly gentle touch and genuine words touch your heart in a way you didn’t know Lucifer could do. He’s... slow, soft, never pushing you to hurry up and move on.

Lucifer’s patience helps you heal, even before you realize that he is helping you in part because he’s in love with you. In time, with his support, having him there helps you to feel less sad and alone.

And in time as well, you fall for him. When you tell him your feelings he asks you if you’re really ready. You tell him you are; after all, you have him by your side now!

Mammon:

He’s not too sure how to comfort you, not in the slightest. 

Of course he cares about you! You’re... you, the lowly human who manages to melt the heart of the great Mammon! But how does he show you that without being pushy or coming across as soft or weak?

His attempts start off in a very “Mammon-y” sort of way, saying things like “just forget bout that bastard, MC!” or “they’re not worth your time anyway, they’re the lowest scum!” 

The gesture is kind in meaning, but a bit of a harsh way to help someone whose heart is genuinely broken. You appreciate his help, obviously, but you can’t just forget about your ex.

Eventually Mammon realizes he’s not doing much for your sake by being stubborn about speaking openly. 

He speaks up one day, in a more serious tone than usual, and even though his face is red and his words are a bit stuttery, he manages to get out a genuine speech to you. 

He tells you how much YOU are worth, and not just in comparison to your ex but in general. To him, you’re worth ... so much. And he hates seeing you hurting over some bastard who didn’t deserve you. 

In the end he steers off course and adds a quiet mumble about how clearly, if you’re going to date again, you gotta choose someone great. Someone... y’know... someone like Mammon!

Leviathan:

Levi himself isn’t all that familiar with real life heartbreak. He’s gotten plenty of hearbreaking endings in dating sims but he’s not familiar with how heart wrenching the real thing is.

He’s got a lot of empathy for video game characters, though, and he feels real sadness when he gets his heart broken in a game, so he tries to draw on that for an example and then multiplies that by 14, figuring that his sadness times fourteen would be approximately what a real break up would be.

And... oh. Wow. That feels horrible just to think about.

Levi wants to reassure you that you’ll be able to move on but he’s unsure what to actually say. So, instead, he offers you distractions. Anytime you seem sad he invites you to play a game with him or watch a show together or just hang out. 

His priority is to make sure you don’t feel alone. He texts you frequently, asking how you feel. He even tells you that you can vent to him if you need. He doesn’t say much back, but he listens.

In the end Levi doesn’t admit to you that he loves you, though. He’s too afraid of pushing the subject, of it being too soon, of you rejecting him, of him experiencing heartbreak from that rejection, “oh god that’s horrifying I can’t tell MC I can’t I can’t I can’t --”, and it escalates until he’s jealous of your ex and angry at them for hurting you but angry at himself for not speaking up but aaahhhhhhhh -----!

But even without words the feelings are clear. Your time with Levi is so, so special. He’s one of a kind.

Satan:

When he finds out that you were hurt he’s angry. Satan is so, so pissed off that someone would dare break your heart! They must be worse scum than Mammon to do such a thing.

He offers to kill your ex. You tell him not to but he just barely holds back.

When that initial anger goes away he focuses his energy on helping you. He doesn’t really know what to say or do specifically but he tries his best. 

When you’re down he texts you cat memes. It becomes a tradition that anytime you’re feeling sad you’ll get a cute cat pic sent to you. Eventually, he’s sent too many for you to keep saving all the pictures.

Even though you said not to kill your ex, Satan still has something similar to daydreams where he kills the asshole in various manners to make them pay for hurting you. He gets a terrifying smile on his face whenever this happens.

Satan knows that he wants you to be happy but it takes him a while to realize he’s in love with you, and that that’s why he feels so strongly about this. When he does realize... all bets are off. He’s determined to win you over, not just because he loves you but because he knows he would never ever break your heart in such a way.

Starts sending you memes of cats snuggling with captions like “this could be us haha jk unless”. It always brings a smile to your face! 

Beelzebub:

He hates seeing you hurt/sad. When you’re crying or sorrowful, it makes him hurt too.

Beel is there for you as a friend first and foremost. Because he doesn’t know what to say, his actions speak louder than words.

He’s so big and strong that his presence is comforting on its own but he takes it to another level with the way he’ll pat your head or scoop you up and hug you to comfort you.

Any time you need someone to talk to he wants to hear you out. He listens to you intently. He cares, deeply, honestly, completely.

And even though he can’t think of a big speech to make that’ll make you feel better he’s open about that care he has for you. He directly tells you he wants you to be happy and that he’s on your side.

If your sadness doesn’t ease, Beel starts to worry about you so much that he loses his appetite. He tells this to Belphie, which is what makes his twin brother realize that Beel loves you more than he’s probably aware.

Beel tells you that if you ever need someone to defend you against your ex in any way, he and his muscles are at your service.

Reassuring hugs from Beel slowly change to reassuring kisses. Your hurt diminishes without any grand gesture... just Beel and his support.

Belphegor:

The sleepy demon is pissed beyond words to hear about your heart break. While he’s given up on killing all humans of course, he would certainly make an exception for your ex.

He doesn’t take it quite as far as Satan does but his anger is crystal clear.

Belphie finds naps healing and offers to let you use him as a pillow.

(I have a personal headcanon that all of the demons have a power related to their sin and Belphie’s is the ability to help people have a peaceful sleep + sweet dreams, so he’d absolutely put that to use)

He tells you that if you want, you never have to go back to the human world and be around that person again. You can stay there and live happily, peacefully, in your own world with him and Beel.

Asmodeus:

He’s had so many partners and broken so many hearts that he actually can’t comprehend the matter. Why not just move on? There’s plenty of lovely people out there to take your mind off your ex - Asmo himself, for example! So... why are you still so sad...?

Even though Asmodeus doesn’t get it, he does at least understand that you are hurting and that he wants to help you. 

He tries offering himself as a replacement but that doesn’t help things; you’re not ready to move on, especially not just for a friend with benefits situation.

Asmodeus is very driven by lust and much of his attempts to help so far have come from that. So when Asmo realizes he needs to take another approach and makes a genuine effort to speak seriously and honestly around you, that alone is enough to show he cares deeply.

When he reassures you that everything will be okay and that you’ll love again without pain, the sympathy he feels is earnestly presented.

His brothers realize he’s in love with you before he does, since he’s not used to that “real” love emotion. They can tell clearly from how he holds back from making lewd comments to you that might bring back hurt feelings.

When Asmo starts acting more like a friend in this way, ironically that’s what makes you start to like him back. You see another side of him with the way he tries to help heal you.

[aglimmerintheriver]

How to mentally keep baneful spirits out - no tools required AKA How Not To Give A F*** About the Uninvited

You can find so much info on here and throughout the web about negative entities and protecting yourself from them. Just as there is so much info, there are all of these different perspectives on how our energies associate with them. In this post I hope to cover a lot of different perspectives, as well as some creative methods for dealing with baneful spirits and your own defense magic tool set.

Introduction

A lot of mythical creatures are based in energetic truth- the vampire is aligned with the energy vampire, the evil and feared witch (like in the Witch movie) is aligned with the early-Christian understanding of the Wise People. The word Witch came from Wic, which means ‘Wisdom’ in Germanic languages. Think of anything given malevolent or benevolent power in the media, and you can likely tie it to misconceptions about the witchcraft and pagan community.

In Shonda Rhimes’ “Grey’s Anatomy” there is an episode where Dr. Miranda Bailey talks about how her OCD creates negative, scary fears within the mind that feel so real that they become real, but she also says that if her mind can think up and believe in these terrible, scary things, she can also think up positive things that make her feel better about those fears- things that help create a buffer, to save her from being so afraid. I’m completely blanking on which episode this was, if you know please let me know and I’ll add it in. By bringing this up, I want to point to something that inspired me to write this post: that elasticity of our perception and of the power we hold within ourselves being dependent on our awareness of our power.

All of this to say that this is not a post created for someone experiencing demonic intrusion. I may or may not have experienced this kind of interaction and if I have, I was simply saved by calling on Jesus (holy freaking heck did not expect the Christian god to help me out but he did) and asking that he save my soul from the attack. If you are under demonic attack or believe that you are, please consult a shaman or a witch who knows how to deal with demonic power. My understanding of demons is that they were the very first spirits here, and so they are the oldest of the old and have a lot of power. That’s not to say your power stands no chance against them, but if you feel overwhelmed by the spirits you’re facing, a lot of the times it is helpful not just for our spiritual protection but also for our perception of how safe we are to call on someone outside of us for help- whether that be a deity or other type of spirit we revere as having badass protective strength or another human we believe can help protect us/banish whatever’s in your sphere.

Perception and Reality

What we believe is what we see. Another way to phrase this is, ‘Where the mind goes, your energy flows”, a very famous phrase within the spiritual community (I believe it has Buddhist origins but not sure of who said it first). This is why a lot of witches are recommended to meet with a therapist or psychologist regularly to ensure our mental health is strong. A lot of people within our community believe that mental health creates spiritual gaps wherein baneful spirits can creep in and target us, but others believe that the cause of mental problems is our spiritual health itself. I’m in the camp of believing mental health is important no matter how you see the correlation- taking care of your brain is just as important as keeping up with the rest of your practice. 

Another aspect of protection and magic is not just ‘what we see’ but how. To bring in a little cognitive function theory, someone with extroverted intuition (or Ne) would likely see a situation and the world from twenty or more different lenses. This is like viewing the world through a multi-faceted crystal and being able to look at all these different crystal-edges and see a different distortion. And that’s really what our view is mostly, because it is nearly impossible to go around living your life and be able to see everything EXACTLY as it is. It’s just not reasonable to think you’re going to be able to have a clear lens every time. If you do and if you’ve developed that, please share how you did and help me figure that out haha, but until then I’m going to work with my understanding that our perception is going to have some type of illusion to it.

And here comes what this post has been leading to- the thing I’m excited about. The Imagining, and the power in that imagining. This is mental craft.

The You-Shaped Perception

In focus meditation you’re told that attention to the breath or to one sensation is important, because you’re narrowing your cannon-sized attention to the size of a pinhole. In much the same way, mental magic is about not just changing your lens, but also how you use that lens.

You       can.         do.            Anything.

It’s true. I mean, within physical means, right? You’re only going to fly if you know how to build mechanical wings, so this isn’t some offhanded promise meant halfheartedly. Nope, I mean this with all of me.

The mind is our friend and our enemy. I’m not even a big fan of meditation and yet I know that. It’s that changeable lens we see things through and how we think of them.

Our mind, my friend, is our power.

In speaking of the mind, I am not just thinking about your brain matter, or your reason, or whatever. I’m talking intention (leading to manifestation) and conscious attention to changing our thoughts.

Think something long enough and you start to believe it. Don’t like your thoughts, or how you feel? What thought or visualization would help you feel better?

There are rabbit holes we fall into where we either can’t control our thoughts and feelings due to mental illness and other times when we just don’t want to control them. Sometimes it feels good to be swept away by our own ocean of emotion and madness. It’s part of being human. The former situation (with the rabbit holes) is likely to be helped by a mental health professional and possibly some anti-depressants. The latter can  a p p a r e n t l y  be helped by meditation. 

(Also, did you know that meditation helps grow the gray matter in your brain? Sitting down and just watching your thoughts pass like clouds, allowing your body to rest, opens you up to expanded compassion, self awareness, contemplation, and helps your memory. If anyone is interested in practicing this, I’m going to be working through this free online MBSR/Mindfulness course in the hopes of helping my depression and my powers of intention- it looks like a great resource especially during this time of political and global tension. I believe our souls are deeply connected to one another and also to the overall soul of the world. Everything that happens in it is something we collectively experience and all of the stress along with this social isolation that the majority of us are experiencing is incredibly traumatizing. I highly recommend checking this out and seeing how it affects you over a few weeks’ time: https://palousemindfulness.com/ )

The point I’m trying to make here is that 98 times out of 100 times, YOU control your perception. And that’s a very empowering and creative thing. Especially when you identify as a witch 😄

gif of Joaquin Phoenix as the joker with a smiling mask on, then pulling up the mask and grinning.

DAMN TABITHA JUST GET TO THE POINT ALREADY

Okay okay. Here’s my point.

You can use creativity in your craft. You know this already. But you don’t need a book of spells (they’re fun to read though) and you don’t need the latest books on psychic magic. You can seriously just use your magical brain.

Intention is everything. Your natural intuitive powers are where your strength lies- I’d say it’s the key to unlocking whatever the heck you want in life. 

Look at your life like it is a children’s story book or movie, alright? It sounds stupid but please stay with me if you made it this far, because I think this is where it gets good. You know how the main character faced this seemingly impossible task or challenge, and they didn’t know how they’d do it but they did it anyway? Things just worked out for them, either because they did some work to help meet their goal and they fought to believe in themselves, or because the writer(s) wanted to throw them some tools that would help them easily get their goal.

You’re the main character and you’re the author of your story. And not only are you the author, but you’ve got all these spirits helping you co-author what unfolds in your life. So it doesn’t matter if there’s a damn fire-breathing knife-throwing monster standing on top of you while you sleep because in your witch brain, all you need to do is say “I am stronger than you will ever be. I am the apex predator” and watch that nasty bugger fucking deflate.

What is the most empowering thing is realizing that you are worth fearing, yourself.

Now this isn’t an excuse to take on a bad-bitch persona and mess your life up. Don’t go around hexing people willy nilly, please. Don’t think you can conjure a demon and be able to control it.

Just know that you can control yourself and the space you’re in. Cause you a badass, bitch.

An actual example from my real life

I have a little known disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Essentially it’s scary AF because I have dislocations on the daily and they’re painful and honestly, it’s the bane of my existence. 

That’s not even exaggerating haha.

So along with it comes a lot of second guessing self worth, because of how it’s perceived and how I’m perceived because I’m a lady with EDS. The questions I’ve fielded, the conversations I’ve had, the experiences I’ve had to deal with as a result of it are utterly ridiculous (sometimes, downright despicable). 

One day I was talking to my therapist about self-perception and not feeling strong enough to face life with my handicap, and she asked me to point out the strengths it’s encouraged in me. I was able to point to a few things and while I did, I could see Brigid beside me and this oak shield forming around my body, and I imagined that every word I spoke, every good quality I have grown from having my disorder, made that shield stronger.

There are the times when I rabbit hole and I forget what that armor means and looks like. I forget that it’s there. But inevitably, something happens that would normally feel like it was undermining me and instead, I remember that oak shield and Brigid’s protective, loving energy, and I remember how expansive it feels to see myself as being worth this life and as having valuable traits to offer to the world. That’s when I see that shield again.

As you can see this isn’t only for spirits, but it applies even in those situations too. I’ll detail my channeling session that ended with calling on Jesus another time haha as this is getting quite long. To wrap this up:

TL;DR: “How not to give a f*** about unwanted spirits”

- Decide not to give a f***

- Decide what you will give a f*** about

- Find a couple practices for protection that you like and stick with them

- Know what clairs you have that are strongest (and if none feel that strong right now, that’s perfectly normal. Don’t put pressure on yourself, just enjoy exploring how your intuition works and pay attention without obsessing (or try not to obsess anyways). You have time to experiment with intuition, I’ll try to find some good sources for this and write something for those of you frustrated with figuring out where your skills lie or how to use them.

- Know that they’re working, that you’re a freaking badass witch, and that nothing can come into your space without earning your wrath (which can just be a GTFO and a call on your fave deity if you like)

A lot of the time, spirits who show up don’t actually have any dominion to stay. You have the power. You own the space, you own YOUR space (the space of your body). So own that you own it and do it with certainty. Feel the POWAH haha.

Sources mentioned:

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2011/01/eight-weeks-to-a-better-brain/

[wanderermatteo]

The Pier

The Pier I had spent the night awake, as now seemingly all my nights were. Nothing could free my mind from the confusions that clear thought held. I had to get high, soften the loneliness and the guilt that refused to let me rest in peace. Grabbing a dub and and my wallet. I dressed lightly and headed out of the shelter. The air was crisp and chilled by the early mornings still darkness. I found relief in the cold walk towards the pier, it seemed to take away the depression and replace it with more of an even keeled emotion. The pier as I expected was empty in the early dawn with the exception of an Asian fisherman, towards the end of the pier. Casting out twinned traps trying to catch I don’t know what out the polluted Hudson. I passed him walking all the way to the piers tip, and sat absorbing the mist that had yet to be cut by direct Sun light. I sat for a second and wished, I was on the other side of Manhattan. At least I could have seen the sun rise. I missed the sunrise, it seemed so lackluster and completely lacking in magic in the city. Or maybe that was just the homesick part of me thinking.

A sound behind me made me turn and look more suddenly and directly than politeness calls for at the face of and old Asian man running near the rail. He seemed to not realize the look or even m presence for that matter. He passed within a foot of me, following the rail exactly as it cornered and cornered again and lead back towards land. Unheaded by me his wife I am assuming passed me in the same manner and the same path as he, althouth a bit more rounded and less cornered path. She followed him as might a faithful dog tired of its masters ubsured energy. I smiled something about her was comedic and yet commendable. In my pocket my hand touched the sharp corner of the bag maryjane. Smiling again and remembering my purpose for this early visit to the pier. I pulled the bag and my wallet from my pocket. Putting bag between my teeth, I opened my wallet and took two Bob marleys out. The wind was not moving so rolling was a “breeze” I took my time though. I liked to think I rolled a beautiful joint and this would be no exception. I had no fear of police, I knew that at 4:30 the last of the night patrol had left, and it might be noon before the pier would be invaded again by their unwelcome presence. There. It was done, I felt proud. And why not it was perfect the finely crushed weed Thinly wrapped looked…I wish I could show it off. This interrupting thought made a feeling of loneliness sweep back, I lost the slight smile that had found a home on my face. But only for a second I was feeling better now and the unlit joint in my hand needed a lighter. Lighting the j took more of an effort than had rolling it, it seemed that with the sun beginning to rise was coming a breeze. Finally cupping my free hand, flicking the lighter hard, pulling deeply it lite. I pulled hard I had no desire for the small ember to go out. It glowed brightly slowly eating it’s way around the tip and down the j. Exhalling I almost coughed, the pull had been a bit much but I knew a few more like that and I would want nothing in the world but sleep. I smoked lazily just fast enough to keep the ember well lit but that was all. I noticed the sun had made its first contact with the houses on the Jersey side. Turning I saw it rising between the buildings of times square. The drug did its trick, even in the now growing breeze I didn’t feel the cold. The Waves and seagulls were more beauty and entertainment than I could wish for. My mind was now a simpler and more peaceful place. I felt the sudden heat of the ember on my finger tips, instinctively I flicked the small roach from my fingers. It landed on the boards of the pier and them a second later sweepted by the wind fell to the water below. I reached for and lit a cig, it tasted good. I smoked it much more quickly than I had the j. Pulling hard and exhaling, enjoying the clouds of smoke blowing into the wind. Footsteps again suddenly grabbed my attention, turning quickly my eyes found the eyes of man might have been 25 maybe 40. And obviously homeless. He returned the look walked up and asked for a cig, dahm I have to stop doing that, I thought. Eye contact in New York was always an invitation of some kind, and mostly unwelcome attention. But I was in a good mood and had a fresh pack so I replied in a friendly if not completely genuine “sure ya no problem.” After bumming a light as well, he sat down on the bench next to me. I had hoped he was going to at least leave me in peace, after getting a cig. But after setting his back pack down. He looked and asked me if I smoked. The sarcastic answer of “of course” “im smoking now” came to mind, but I knew what he meant. A simple yes came to my lips and before I knew it he was unzipping a pocket in his pack and pulled out a nice looking blunt, lit it, and held it towards me. And though still somewhat standoff ish, to his presence. I accepted his implied offer and took the blunt. You have no idea what the fuck is in that blunt. Was the one clear thought my intoxicated brain had but it was not alarming enough to me in that moment. And besides he seems calm and intelligent enough. I pulled once, exhaling and reaching the blunt towards him. He motioned for me to take another pull. It tasted good so I looked the offer this time with less fear and more friendship. Exhalling a second time I handed it back to him. He began saying sometime about the dahm fucking Asians always running around for no reason. I was to high to really object or even really listen. Although something in his voice made me laugh, and them convulsively cough as a result. Rookie mistake I thought. Never laugh while smoking. Looking down I noticed his feet were worn through the leather shoes he was wearing. Something about him made me double think my perceptive powers. Everything about his clothes said bum, and yet something about the way he had walked when he approached, the clear blue of his eyes and may be something about his nose gave him an air of royal presence. Haha here! Pulled from my thoughts I noticed he had been trying to pass the weed back, I smiled, laughed and “sorry I zoning out”. He laughed and I pulled, things became quiet for the first time since he had sat down, it seemed my Caucasian brother had run out of racist comments about the Asian fisherman 20 yards behind us. Suddenly he jumped up. Standing in front of me he waved his hand out as calming a cheering crowd and began delivering lines from what I thought was the sapranos. He mimicked well, every line was perfect in tone and delivered beautifully. But all I could feel was embarrassed, I looked around quickly and no one seemed to be around. Even the Fisherman seemed oblivious to the performance going on before me. “And cut!” Was his enfatict punctuation to the bit of theater. Looking at me he seemed unaffected by what had to have been mere shock and confusion on my face. Spinning lightly he sat back down and asked me if I knew that the pyramid capped building behind us was the illuminati head quarters in New York. I trying to keep my smile hidden, told him I did not. He then began telling me about his girl friend, well one of his girl friends, his Russian girl friend who because of her families blood lines had been invited to that building and had seen the secret workings within. Even though doubting his sanity at this point, I decided his story entertaining and asked questions at points as he told me his tale. He had been born weathly, but had become poor on the sudden death of his aunt who raised him. On his 30rth birthday a fortune would be his, the trust of the estate would be put in his name. He had seen much of the world Russia and Italy, were the only places he thought worth being. Since the power of the world rested in their hands. So on and forth his story came. I could not laugh, so sincerely did he talk that I feel he would have been hurt if I seemed anything but believing. He was maybe the most racist man I have ever met, he told me that the “plutarians” some sort of alien race had founded the world and mixed their blood with that of the Aryan races. He told me that he was the last of the plutarians, and all hope of preserving this long hallowed race were all but lost. I should have disagreed, this is a sinful thing to say, but it felt good even if only in the whimsical tales of this crazy man, to feel superior. It fed something dark in my soul that I have no interest finding again. Lighting a cig, I passed him one without him asking and then the light as well. I was feeling generous, and though somewhat shocked by the amount racial hate being spewed around an epic tale of the founding of the earth, I was alone. No one in the world would know better if I enjoyed how eloquently he told the story. He was eloquent I thought as he rumiged through his bag. His vocabulary stretched the limits of my own rather inflated mental dictionary. “Here it is, my plays” he said “plays I have worked on for years, each one could be the greatest piece of literature ever to grace man’s pitiful eye.” I might have smiled as he introduced the few scrapes of paper carefully rolled and held by an elastic band. He looked hurt for a second as if my smile had been an unbelieving one mocking his sanity. But As he had at other points in the conversation, he simply blinking his eyes and dove into the story of his plays as if to convince me that his introduction to them had not been overestimated. As he talked glanced across at the now unraveled pages in his hand. I realized as he jumped from page to page telling me the endless plots they contained, that only the first page had been written on, the rest were empty. I felt pity, for the first time when I saw this but I pray to God he did not see it. If earth has taught taught me one thing I is never to pity, give yes, empathize yes, assist yes. But never pity...