#I made this so long ago and I watch it whenever I feel upset
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mattscoquette · 2 days ago
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how do you think matt would react if he found his girl sh-ing? (u should make a one shot on this <3) would chris react the same as matt?
matt finding out his girl is sh
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. detailed mentions of self harm and anxiety !! pls read with caution <3 this is also in no way romanticizing sh ! remember u are loved :)
you shakily pried open the back of your phone case, carefully removing the small blade you’d taken from your shower razor. standing over the sink as water poured from faucet, you slid up the sleeves of your sweater, an array of both fresh and healed scars adorning your skin. you felt tears prick your eyes as you began to slide the blade against your skin, slashing new cuts into your wrists.
as hard as you tried, you just couldn’t stop yourself from hurting yourself. it had become your way of coping with your anxiety, and your solution to every situation that arose. and matt, poor matt, was so observant in your change of behavior. the way you only wore long sleeves, how you seemed to panic whenever he held your hand. you two stopped having sex months ago. and you noticed how it affected your relationship. you noticed how everything that you did affected your relationship. and that only made you want to hurt yourself even more.
matt deserved a better girlfriend. or so you thought. in your head, you were ruining matt’s life. you were barely there anymore, feeling like you were a ghost watching your life from the outside. and you loved matt so much, so much that it hurt, and all you wanted was for him to be happy. but to you, if you weren’t happy, matt couldn’t be happy.
lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize the mess of blood you were making in the sink, and matt knocking on the door softly. “baby are you good? i’m home with food.”
you cursed underneath your breath, hurriedly turning off the sink and holding a fist over your cuts, trying to stop the flow of blood. i’m okay was all you could unconvincingly rasp out.
“are you sure? can i come in?” matt called out, his voice as sweet and caring as ever. because why wouldn’t it be. you were matt’s entire world, the only thing that mattered to him was you.
“i’ll be right out, i’m okay.” you spoke, trying your best to stop your voice from shaking. you looked down at your cloth covered wrists, dark stains seeping through the sleeves where your hand was clamped around them.
but, matt knew you. he knew something was wrong, and he knew you weren’t okay. so, matt being matt, pushed his thumb against the lock, twisting it as it unlocked. slowly, he turned the doorknob, opening the bathroom door where he saw you standing inside, a panicked expression on your face as you held a hand over your wrists.
matt’s eyes scanned around the bathroom, his face falling as he realized what you were doing. the blade on the counter, the blood in the sink, the way you were drawing your arms into your body. and suddenly, the last few months made sense. "sweetheart.” he couldn’t even manage a whisper.
matt swiftly made his way to you, wrapping his arms around your body as he held you tight. you couldn’t stop the sobs that racked your body, crying hard into matt’s chest while he just cradled you. he kissed the side of your head repeatedly, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he pulled you both down onto the tiled floor, letting you climb up into his lap.
“i’m sorry,” you sniffled, burying your face into his shoulder, “i’m sorry i’m so messy.”
matt pulled away, his expression as if you had just personally offended him. his ran a thumb across your tear stricken cheek, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “don’t be sorry, i’m not upset.”
he continued to comfort you, rocking you back and forth in his arms on the bathroom floor.
“i’m always gonna be here for you.” he mumbled into your hair, feeling his own eyes begin to well with tears. “no matter what.”
“always?”
“always.”
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© mattscoquette
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𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬. ⋆˚꩜。 i kinda wanna start trying to write more angsty stuff like this, ty for this request ! can’t lie i lowk cried writing this but i feel like it lowk helped me in a way bc i used to struggle w this. anyway i hope u guys like <3 and if anyone needs someone to talk to im here !!
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bad268 · 3 days ago
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hey i have an idea for a pepe fanfic so basically its after pepe has a crash during a race while leading his girlfriend conforts him? btw i really love your fanfic <3
Join Me (Pepe Marti X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/F2/F3
Requested: Clearly (grazie mille <3)
Warnings: bathing together, spicy ending
POV: Second Person (You/your)
W.C. 1303
Summary: Pepe has a bad weekend, so the reader comes up with a plan to make him feel better.
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
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~~(^Pinterest)
He just wanted to forget this weekend. He wanted to forget this season. Nothing had gone his way, his team was not supporting him, his teammate was not being a team player, and he was ready to quit racing altogether. It was something he had started contemplating a while ago, but when Isack took him out of the race, he’d had it. 
You had stayed back at the hotel because you had some work you needed to catch up on, so you had to watch your boyfriend get taken out, once again, by his teammate. You had to sit there and listen to both radios. The one from Pepe being calm but basically saying “what the fuck” in nicer terms. The one from Isack, crying that Pepe needed to stay out of his way and that he had a championship to win. All of the bullshit he was spuing really fed into your major dislike for him. Before this, you merely tolerated Isack. Now, you would not be so kind. If you ever saw him again, it would be too soon.
You didn't need to hear from Pepe to know how upset he was. It seemed like Isack was always starting trouble and Pepe was left being the most affected every time. You just waited until he came back to the hotel since he would be badgered by the media, and you knew he wouldn’t have access to his phone anyway.
Sooner than you thought, Pepe opens the door and sets his bag off to the side. He looked around, but he couldn’t find you anywhere. You were just getting back to the hotel from a short trip to a nearby store. You picked up some snacks and treats that would, hopefully, cheer Pepe up a bit. You got back into your hotel room, humming along to a song you had heard, and it did not take you long to realize that Pepe was back. Your shock didn’t last long as you saw him face down on your bed in the middle of a much-needed nap. You took this opportunity to finish setting up what you had planned.
You lit a couple of small candles you bought from the store around the bathroom. It was something Pepe did for you whenever something big happened to you, so you took it upon yourself to return the favor. You filled the tub with water and bubbles and dimmed the lights. Then, you left to get Pepe, who was semi-awake. You walked up to the bed to see him lying on his back now, rubbing his eyes harshly before you laid next to him and rubbed his arm gently.
“Hey, baby,” You whispered, getting his attention by moving your hand up into his hair, pushing it away from his eyes. He turned his head to face you with a small smile as he closed his eyes again, relaxing in your presence. “Hi, Pepe.”
“Hey,” he sighed as he stretched his arms over his head again. “Was I out long?”
“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. “I’ve only been back for ten minutes, but I have a surprise for you. Hopefully, it’ll make you feel better.”
“If it’s what I think it is,” he trailed off as he looked you up and down, “I don’t have enough energy for that.”
“I didn’t think so,” You gave him a pointed look before standing and pulling him up with you. “That’s why I got your favorite snacks and made a relaxing bath for you. Thought it would help you feel better.”
You led him to the ensuite before helping him discard his clothes and get in the tub. You finished dimming the lights and set up your laptop on a chair in the corner. You pulled up Pepe’s favorite movie, knowing it would help him forget this shitty weekend. By the time you looked back at Pepe, he was already lazily looking at you with a small smile on his lips.
“Have I ever told you I love you?” Pepe commented as he rested his head against the side of the bathtub, leaning further into the water.
“Once or twice, you’ve said it,” You chuckled lightly, moving over to leave a kiss on his forehead. You stood back up before glancing around, making sure everything you bought him was within arms reach for Pepe. The movie was already playing, and everything was in its place. “Is there anything else you need from me before I let you relax?” 
“Join me?” Pepe asked as he brought a hand out of the water to grab your wrist. He looked up at you and pouted his lip, “Just for a little bit? I could really use your cuddles right now.”
“Only because you’re cute, and most of our stuff is already packed for tomorrow,” You sighed as you started taking off your shirt. “Want me in the front or back?”
“Wherever you want,” Pepe whispered as he sat up straighter, gauging where you wanted to sit. “I don’t care as long as you’re in here within 10 seconds.”
“That’s a bit bossy, don’t you think?” You teased as you shredded off the last of your clothes. He just looked up at you without commenting, so you gave him a pointed look. “Scoot forward before I regret agreeing to this.”
Quickly, Pepe moved forward to make space behind him for you to step in and sit behind him with your legs on either side of him. Pepe leaned back into your hold with a sigh as you wrapped your arms tightly around his shoulders. The water was just below the edge of the tub, so you mentally tried to keep the shifting to a minimum. The last thing you wanted was to clean up the bathroom floor just before an early morning flight. 
“Thank you,” Pepe muttered after a minute or so of silence. He had closed his eyes after you wrapped your arms around him, and he was well on his way to falling asleep in the water. “I know you don’t like baths, but thank you for staying with me. Thank you for being you and always here for me. I love you.”
“And I’ll always be here for you, Pepe. I love you, too,” You comforted as you brushed a hand against his cheek and placed a kiss on his temple. You lay with him in the slowly cooling water with his favorite movie playing in the background, snacks forgotten. About halfway through the movie, you suddenly become aware of the extra weight on your chest and the light snores coming from Pepe. “Please don’t fall asleep on me. I already feel claustrophobic in the water. I don’t need you blocking me in too.”
“I’m not asleep,” Pepe slurred as he sat up again to let you readjust. You jokingly glared at him when he looked back at you.
“You were snoring,” You deadpanned.
“I was resting my eyes?” He offered with a sheepish smile before trying his best to hug you despite him facing the wrong way. “Thank you for not throwing me off. I know you don’t like them, but having you here with me made me feel so much better. Thank you for making me feel better after this shitty weekend.”
“You don’t need to thank me for doing the bare minimum. I’ll always join you when you need me,” You whispered against his lips as you left a short kiss. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we should get out now. We need to be at the airport in like 4 hours.”
“That’s enough time for me,” Pepe smirked as he pulled you in for another kiss, this one more heated and passionate. “Let me show you how much I appreciate you.”
~~~~~
© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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cedar-scars · 11 hours ago
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holy shit did I ever post my dumbass metal/neo metal sonic edit I made during a breakdown
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lewisvinga · 5 months ago
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my special girls | lewis hamilton x fem! reader
summary; one of the greatest days in lewis’ life, his 104th win and the birth of his daughter.
warnings; mentions of pregnancy/labor, probs labor inaccuracies
word count; 1.4k
all works taglist; @goldenmclaren @namgification @c-losur3 @minkyungseokie @lavisenri @ollieshifts
note; i need to see more lewis fics after 104th🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️BUT ALZKLALSSM 104TH THATS MY GOATTTT THATS WHY HE’S THE GOATT���😭❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
masterlist !
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
The Mercedes garage was tense, more tense than usual. The final laps of the British Grand Prix made everyone nervous and anxious. Lewis was just laps away from his 104th win.
Both George, who unfortunately had to retire due to issues with his car, and Carmen stood by a very anxious 9-month pregnant Y/n Hamilton. Although Lewis advised his wife to stay home due to how far along she was in her pregnancy despite it being his home race, she refused.
Carmen held onto her hand, their eyes focused on the screen as the final lap began. Although she was also upset with what happened to George, the couple couldn’t help but feel happy for the 7x world champion.
Time seemed to pass by slowly as Lewis drove around the final corners. Y/n didn’t notice anything happening around her, her focus completely on the screen.
‘Lewis Hamilton wins the 2024 British Grand Prix.’
Those 8 words the married couple longed to hear were finally being said. Y/n carefully but quickly jumped up from her seat, cheering loudly as her husband passed the checked flag. With one hand around her pregnant stomach and the other being thrown in the air while crying, she didn’t even notice the faint cramping in her abdomen.
The team rushed to meet up with Lewis, Carmen staying behind to help Y/n who slowly waddled behind the rushing team. She couldn’t hold back her tears as she watched her husband hugging his father in tears.
She stayed with the Spanish girl, not wanting to be within the grand crowd for safety reasons. Her vision was cloudy from tears. There were black smudges around her eyes as she carefully wiped her eyes to not mess up her cheeks.
Through her teary eyes, she could see the deep brown eyes she fell in love with years ago right in front of her.
Lewis carefully wrapped his arms around her, keeping a hand on her stomach. “My loves.” He whispered, pressing a kiss against her plump lips. “You both okay?
Y/n reaches up to carefully wipe the stray tears on his cheek. “Worrying about me after winning?” She teases through tears. “We’re fine and we’re so proud of you.” She cradled his face in her hands.
Only she knew how much Lewis had truly struggled after that day in 2021. She knew the mental anguish he went through whenever a race went poorly, so desperate to prove to others he was still as good as he was in his prime. She knew how hurt he had been with what was happening with Mercedes, wanting to spend his last season with the German team in a good way.
It seemed everything he had been through was worth it when Y/n revealed she was pregnant. Suddenly, everything didn’t matter. He just wanted to be there for his wife and child.
9 months later, he was washed over with a large wave of emotions as he passed the checkered flag knowing his pregnant wife was in the crowd.
“Gotta make sure my girls are okay,” Lewis mumbled, resting his head in the crook of her neck. Her long nails gently scratched his scalp. She hummed as she felt him press a kiss on her shoulder. “I love you.”
“And I love you.” Y/n whispered back as he lifted his head from her hold. She gestured toward where the reporter was waiting for a quick post-race interview before the podium. “Go, my love, we’ll be waiting for you after you’re all done.”
With one last kiss, Lewis left her to do his post-race interview. She left with Carmen to slowly waddle walk back to the garage. She didn’t feel quite comfortable being part of the crowd during the podium celebration so she opted to watch from the TV in the garage.
They had barely made it back when Y/n suddenly felt another sharp pain in her abdomen. She felt a small puddle of liquid by her feet. Carmen and her look down at the puddle before making eye contact.
“The baby?” The Spanish girl questioned, trailing off when the pregnant woman nodded.
“Is coming.”
Lewis’s mother, Carmen, had kept a close eye on her daughter-in-law the entire day. She noticed the panicked look on both of the girls’ faces and rushed over to them. “Is everything alright, dear?”
“Her water broke.” The Spanish girl explained, keeping her hand interlocked with the laboring woman.
“Don’t tell Lewis yet. I want him to enjoy this day.” Y/n said in between deep breaths. Before either woman could protest, she added, “Do not test me right now. The contractions aren’t bad yet and I don’t want to go to the hospital until there are a few minutes in between.”
“Let’s take you to his driver's room then, dear.” The elder Carmen says, taking her daughter-in-law in her arms and helping her. The younger Carmen followed behind due to the two becoming quite close.
Time had passed and Lewis was finishing up all his media duties. He wanted nothing more than to be in the embrace of his wife on such a special day. His eyebrows furrowed up when he couldn’t find her in the garage. He looked around confused until he saw Carmen appear out of his motor room looking distressed as she spoke with George who was waiting outside.
“What's going on?” Lewis asked confused, feeling a surge of worry running through his veins.
“Y/n, her water broke earlier and we wanted to get you but she refused! Your mom only let her refuse because her contractions weren’t too bad yet,” The Spanish girl explained to Y/n’s worried husband. “But they’re getting closer now so I came to get you and-“
Lewis didn’t let her finish before rushing into his motorhome. He spotted Y/n leaning against the wall with his mother supporting her by her arm. “My love, why’d you wait this long?” He softly says, quietly thanking his mother before taking her place with his wife.
“Wanted you to enjoy this day and your win-“
“But you’re pregnant and in labor. This is far more important and urgent.”
“So does that mean we can go to the hospital now?”
Lewis sighed, shaking his head as a smile crept up on his lips. He turned to his mom before grabbing Y/n’s bag, “I’ll take her now. I’ll keep you updated.”
His mother simply nodded and gave her son a kiss on his cheek. She gives Y/n an encouraging smile before whispering, “If your daughter is anything like my son, it’ll be a fast delivery.”
Y/n chuckled at her words before waving goodbye to her. Lewis sighed as he easily scooped her up in his arms. Fortunately, George had called an ambulance which was waiting by the entrance of the paddock just in time.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
Although winning after so long at home was so special to Lewis, he knew nothing could beat what he currently felt as he cradled the tiny baby in his arms.
Hours before he held the golden trophy signifying he won his 104th race. Now, he’s holding one of the most important girls in his life.
Just like her father, little Ophelia came out fast. Y/n was only in the hospital for an hour or so before it was time for her to push. Tears hadn’t stopped flowing from their faces from the moment Lewis won to even after Ophelia’s birth.
“What a day.” Y/n sleepily chuckled, waking up from a nap that had been knocked out for a while. Lewis turned around with a sleeping Ophelia still in his arms. “You win a race and you get a daughter who is identical to you even if I carried her for 9 months?”
“How are you feeling?” He asked his wife who scooted over to the side, signaling for him to sit next to her.
“Tired. Happy, but tired.” She immediately melted into his side.
She gently runs her finger over Ophelia’s cheek. The newborn was still in deep sleep, clearly exhausted after being born just a few hours earlier.
Lewis couldn’t help but admire the two. June 7th was undoubtedly one of the happiest days of his life. He’s won many times before. He’s won trophies and world championships. Winning at home after 3 years was something special. But winning in life with his wife by his side and his daughter in his arms was something unexplainable.
He leaned down to press a kiss on Ophelia’s forehead before pressing a kiss against Y/n’s lips. “Don’t know what I’d do without you two. My special girls.”
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admiringlove · 24 days ago
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[16:45] . . .
you always tended to forget your umbrella. gojo had noticed that about you long ago.
you, someone who remembered everything about everyone, often forgot things about yourself. you were indecisive—laughably so, at that. every time you went to the local convenience store, it took you ages to choose something to eat or drink. it frustrated him. he was always irritated by how caring you were. there had to be some kind of ulterior motive beneath all that sweetness, right?
he recalled how you were often left stranded after class, sitting on the cold stone floor, waiting for the rain to pass. of course, he’d tease you. he didn’t care if you got soaked; he was the best, after all. he was gojo satoru, the one and only, so he didn’t have time to worry about trivial things, like whether a classmate would be left behind in the rain.
day after day, he’d walk away, taunting you as he waved goodbye. it was amusing, watching you sit there, mopey and upset. he’d laugh and point, pretending to be annoyed, even though you’d bought him cola earlier that day. it felt great to giggle as he left you behind, knowing you’d sit on the floor until the rain stopped.
it was fun, not caring.
it was fun until he started carrying an umbrella just because he felt guilty for laughing at you. he remembered that moment vividly—it made his blood boil. he’d stood there, holding out a clear umbrella above your head. you’d looked up at him, blinking innocently as you asked, “seriously? you brought me an umbrella?”
“just shut up and take it,” he had gritted his teeth.
from that day on, he made sure to always have one. that stupid, filthy, clear umbrella became a part of his routine, held over your head as you prepared to sit on the cold stone floor.
“why do you do this?” you asked one day, tilting your head as if you were both innocent and all-knowing. tsk, he thought, rolling his eyes at your obliviousness. what an absolute idiot.
“i don’t know. maybe i just like doing nice things for poor people,” he retorted.
that’s how your friendship had started. seamlessly, you slipped into the routine that included him, geto, and shoko. suddenly, you were part of their plans to go to kfc or grab ice cream. you were there when gojo wanted to shoot hoops with them, always in the background, ready to chime in whenever he teased nanami about something, quick to point out that he was being a rude git.
he hated you—or at least, that’s what he told himself. he hated how nice you were, how you always sought out ways to keep everyone happy. it made his skin prick with irritation. there was something about you that constantly ticked him off. why did you insist on buying him cola from the vending machine, knowing he’d only drink half the can before tossing the rest? why did you always go to the cashier with geto at kfc? why did you feel the need to help him with everything? couldn’t you see that you weren’t as strong as he was? or were you just dense?
“tell me something,” you’d once asked, rain drumming against the umbrella he held over your head. you walked by his side, swinging your arms like a carefree child while gojo found himself trapped in this small act of kindness. geto had already gone home, and he figured shoko was off buying cigarettes, leaving him stuck in the downpour with you. “why did you start being nice to me all of a sudden one day?”
“what do you mean?” he replied, narrowing his eyes at you. your gaze met his, an unspoken understanding passing between you. you knew he understood your question; he just didn’t want to answer it. but you pried anyway, because that’s just who you were. “i mean the way you randomly started bringing me an umbrella every day, even though you don’t need it. the way you drag me along to get fried chicken. and how you don’t say anything when i call you an asshole for teasing nanami about his hair.”
gojo sighed, caught off guard. for the first time in his life, he didn’t know how to answer a question. or maybe, deep down, he knew the answer, but the thought terrified him. he didn’t want to let those feelings out from their hidden corner of his mind.
“i don’t know. i just felt bad, i guess,” he mumbled, glancing away. he could tell you were dissatisfied with his response, but he chose silence instead. after all, he was the greatest. he couldn’t let his guard down, could he?
it irked him how intuitive you were. you read him like an open book, every single damn time. whether he was hungry, sad, or just generally irritated—which was usually the case—you always seemed to have the perfect solution. somehow, you’d have a snack handy for whenever gojo felt the gnawing hunger creep in. you’d crack a joke just when he felt like shit, and you always knew the right thing to say to get him all riled up.
like he’d said before, it was fun. until it wasn’t.
because one day, he was carrying an umbrella over your head. and the next, he was yelling at you for following geto out of the institute like a fucking sheep.
"how can you just leave me like that?" he yells, eyes wide and chest heaving. the rain pours down around him, but he doesn’t hold an umbrella for you. not anymore. he lets the rain envelop you, watching as the water trickles down to the tips of your fingers and toes, almost hoping it makes you sick. "how dare you and geto just walk away from my life as if nothing ever happened?!"
"nothing ever happened, satoru," you mumbled, "why do you think i left? it's because nothing ever happened."
"no!" he'd retorted, "you left because you're a fucking coward! you can't face your feelings, so you hide behind geto's stupid ideology that only sorcerers can exist. are you really telling me you're that disillusioned that you actually believe in him?"
"you could do it, couldn’t you? if you wanted?" you asked, your voice cracking under the weight of unspoken feelings. he paused for a moment, breath catching in his throat. geto had said the same exact thing, and it hit him like a brick.
“i don’t care about that!” he shot back, desperation lacing his tone. “come back. let me fix things-”
“there’s nothing to fix, satoru!” you yelled now, your voice piercing through the relentless downpour. the rain lashed against you, a cold, unforgiving torrent that blurred the world around you. droplets cascaded down your face, tracing a path along your skin, pooling beneath your chin before plummeting to the ground. each drop felt like a whispered goodbye, a farewell that mingled with the earth below—a reminder of all the moments lost between you. “there was nothing there anyway! what are you going to fix?”
as the rain soaked through your clothes, it clung to you like the memories that haunted both of you. it dripped from the tips of your hair, creating tiny rivers that carved a path down your neck and into the fabric of your shirt. each droplet seemed to echo your heartache, amplifying the silence between you, drowning out the possibility of what could have been.
he snaps back to reality when he realizes it's started to rain. standing on the same cold stone ground where you used to sit, he watches as the droplets hit the earth, relentless and unforgiving. each drop falls like a bitter reminder of that day—the day he said goodbye to you for the last time, a farewell shrouded in unspoken words and unresolved feelings.
“shit,” he whispers, glancing down at the umbrella in his hand.
the irony isn’t lost on him. even now, he finds himself carrying this clear, flimsy shield; a remnant of your influence in his life. it’s absurd, really. how you were now an enemy. how geto was gone and how truly alone he felt. but yet, he found himself standing here like an idiot. an absolute fool—something he used to think you were for being so kind to everyone for no reason at all.
he still hated you. now, more than ever. he knew, deep down, that you probably still forgot your umbrella, wherever you were. perhaps a part of him longed to see you sitting on this cold ground again, a familiar sight that felt so distant now. he wished he could hold out that clear piece of plastic for you once more, just as he had done countless times before. he could almost hear your silly questions echoing in his mind, the way you’d gently prod him to talk about his feelings, pushing him to confront what he often ignored. and somewhere in his memory, he could almost hear you say something sappy like, "try becoming a better person, satoru."
he scoffed at the thought. had he really become better? he liked to think so. after all, he was still the greatest. but as he stood there, soaked in the rain, doubts crept in like a chill. was he really all that great if, at his core, he was just a failed, lonely, and unhappy man?
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enwoso · 2 months ago
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HOW DO I SAY GOODBYE — alessia russo
WARNINGS: upsetting themes, talks of death, overdose, suicide, grief etc. please do not read if any of these make you uncomfortable.
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masterlist
read pink skies first before continuing!
"so how you feeling?" alessia asked a slight wince on her face as she asked, she knew it was a sensitive topic. something you always tried to deflect whenever asked but she wasn’t asking about you personally - well maybe she was kind of - but she was more directing it at your injury.
as she flopped onto her bed in the room she’d called home for the past five days while being on international camp. you on the other line, your room dimmed as you lay in your bed the soft hum of your tv playing in the background. the room you hadn’t left in three days.
getting called up to play for you country was a special feeling that never went away each time it happened but playing with your best friend for england, well there was no feeling like it.
so naturally when alessia seen your name also on the team sheet she was ecstatic, however that quickly went away within four hours as it was quickly announced that you’d withdrawn because of a knee injury and would instead spend the international break rehabbing at arsenal.
alessia had, had her suspicions about your knee injury that seemed to of popped up out of nowhere but nevertheless pushed it to the back of her mind and instead just focused on trying to help you get back into the swing of playing football again.
little did alessia know in that moment was that you’d already played your last match together.
“yeah it’s- um its getting there” you nodded, but it coming out as if you were trying to convince yourself that your knee was getting there. alessia humming with her usual bright smile as she gave you some positive notes to help spur your recovery on quicker. the words going over your head quicker than she said them.
alessia spent the next hour telling you everything that had happened that day, like she’d done the past five days. filling you in on every detail from the silly jokes ella had told her that made her laugh, to her telling you about how grace reminded her of a sloth cause of how long she’s hug her for to even the coffee she’d drank this morning with lotte.
you sat listening to her little ramble, the way she couldn’t tell you the jokes ella had told her without a giggle slipping out in between each word and the way she tried to sound so agitated by graces hugs you could see the adoration in her eyes and the way her lip quirked.
some of her words morphing into one as you lay, an empty feeling filled your chest as you laid in your room, the same hoodie on with the same toothpaste stain on it, your hair in the same messy bun from days ago that your hood covered.
“and your still coming to watch tomorrow right?” alessia asked, the match being a late afternoon kick off at wembley as you hummed a small response as alessia’s smile grew just that little bit bigger.
“yeah.. think leah said she had the tickets and all that sorted” you told alessia as she made a little joke about your organisation skills, you not being one for planning more just someone tells you the time and date and you would show up.
“good, well i’ll come by yours after and we can watch man on fire” alessia smiled, knowing a groan was going to come from you about the choice of movie. it being the blondes favourite at the moment meaning you had seen it at least six times already.
“you and that film! i’ll agree only if you bring the jammy dodgers!” you say with a small smug smile, knowing the blonde couldn’t resist and the fact they were your favourite biscuits — alessia couldn’t say no.
“fine! i’ll stop on the way and get them for you!”
YOURNAME🩷 good luck today lessi, go show wembley how much of a star girl you are!
delivered 01:44pm
YOURNAME🩷 and sorry i can’t make it to see you play — just not feeling too good today.
delivered 01:45pm
maybe if alessia had of seen that message the day wouldn’t have progressed the way it did but she’s didn’t see the message. she thought you were sat in the stands with leah, like you’d told the blonde the night before.
instead the game kicked off, the scheduled time of two thirty. alessia in the starting line up even getting herself a goal as she celebrated with the fans and her teammates. pointing to the corner where you were supposed to be sat.
expect you never got to see the goal.
as what alessia didn’t know was that while she was kicking a ball around a pitch in front of ninety thousand people that there were a group of paramedic’s trying to shock some life back into your body.
coming to the end of the game the team was doing there usual lap of honour as alessia spots leah in the corner of her eye with one of the coaching staff which works with england but as the blonde scanned the area for your face you were no where to be found.
“leah? where’s y/n?” alessia asked concern laced her voice. a small flash of confusion took over leah’s face as she paused her conversation with the staff member, “did she not tell you?”
“tell me what exactly..?” alessia trailed off hurrying leah into an answer as she didn’t exactly know what leah was trying to get at.
“that she couldn’t make it, said she didn’t feel too great. i thought you knew already, she told me she had messaged you” leah shrugged before walking off and leaving less stood slightly confused - did leah not ask why you weren’t coming?
“wait- leah…” alessia called out but leah couldn’t hear the blonde. an uneasy feeling took over alessia’s body. something didn’t feel right as the whole stadium seemed to fall silence in her ears as she made her way over to the tunnel. the fans scream for her as well as a couple of her teammates calling out her name but it was no use alessia didn’t hear them.
getting back to her spot in the changing room, she rummaged through her bag for her phone. a sigh leaving her lips when she saw your message but still her mind was still filled with panic.
it wasn’t like you to just message out the blue that you weren’t coming to the match and even if you couldn’t make it you’d watch and live update her through messages.
alessia refreshed her phone thinking maybe your live updates hadn’t come through but no, nothing. just the two messages.
by this point the rest of the team was coming back into the changing room as alessia rushed around trying to get changed and on her way to your apartment. her mind not seeming to be able to rest without knowing if you were okay.
“less you don’t need to be in that much of a hurry we aren’t going out till six!” ella joked as she sat beside the blonde, a little giggle coming from the brunette but soon her smile dropped when she saw her best friends look of panic.
“what’s wrong?” ella asked as alessia sighed, “nothing i just promised y/n i would go and see her”
“right. how's her knee?” ella asked as alessia hummed a small nod, “it’s good- erm i need to go tooney. i’ll call you later yeah” alessia rushed out and before the brunette even had a chance to respond the blonde was out the changing room door.
a few glances to the door from the other girls as they then looked to ella who just shrugged, not knowing the answer to their questions that their faces were asking without even saying a word.
three knocks of the door was all it took before the door slowly opened, a face appearing which was definitely not who alessia thought would be answering the door.
“oh- alessia?” your mum slight surprise in her voice, clearing not expecting the blonde to be stood at the door. alessia stood her hands filled with all your favourite things that you like when your not feeling too good as well as your beloved jammy dodgers.
“hey mrs y/l/n, is um y/n in- i told her i was coming by after my game..” alessia trailed off, noticing the slight change in your mums face. a sadder look appearing as your mum looked towards the floor.
“i’m sorry alessia, i think it’s best you come inside” your mum took a deep breath in as she moved deeper into your apartment, alessia clicking the front door shut with her foot.
there being a strange feeling in the air as she walked down the small hallway, it being littered with small reminiscences of you. your shoes that you would always leave by the door, alessia forever tripping over them any time she came over.
the place felt eerie as alessia followed your mum deeper into your apartment. alessia had a strange feeling in her stomach, the same stomach dropping feeling when you get caught breaking your mums case a child.
expect this was worse.
a vase could be glued back together. a life, not so much.
“take a seat love” your mum pointed to the couch as she sat on the one opposite alessia as she sunk into the soft couch.
your mum taking a few deep breaths still looking at the floor before looking up towards alessia, tears building in her eyes. alessia’s head was spinning, something had happened. but what, well she was probably wishing the day never happened.
“um there’s no way to really say this but- um y/n, she’s-” your mums voice was shaky as she spoke, alessia on edge as her knee bounced up and down awaiting the next words.
“is she okay?” alessia asked it coming out as a whisper as her bottom lip began to wobble, fear taking over her body. watching as your mum shook her head no.
“i’m so sorry less.. but she’s gone”
the words fell on deaf ears as alessia almost didn’t hear what your mum had said it seemingly not wanting to go into her head but once it did her body crumbled like a brick wall. as her tears fell, your mum getting up immediately and wrapping the young girl in a hug.
“no, no- she, no” alessia choked out over her tear as your mum tried her best to soothe alessia as they both cried in each others arms. "she's at peace now sweetheart" your mum whispered into alessia's hair as she soothed the blonde as she sobbed.
the pair stayed in each others arms both choked up with tears, as once grieved the lost of their daughter, their own blood while the other grieved the loss of their best friend, a sister maybe not by blood but sisters by hearts.
alessia was the first to move as she looked to your mum with puffy red eyes, your mums face mirroring the same puffy eyes. "how'd- she. just how?" alessia managed to get out, part of her didn't want to know how or what you suffered but the other part would put her head to rest knowing you were not longer in pain.
"she- overdosed, they tried - they really did try to save her but she was already gone" your mum explained as a shiver went down alessia's spine as an image appeared in her brain as she shook her head trying to rid of it.
"i should have realised- with the injury she supposedly had- i-" alessia rushed out as she brought her hands up to cover her face, a pout forming on your mums face.
"alessia its not your fault, you weren't to know, y/n wouldn’t have blamed you." your mum comforted the blonde englufing her in a hug, "she's no longer in pain anymore"
the two of them stayed like that for a few moments later until alessia calmed down a little, your mum offering to make her something warm to drink. the afternoon had been a lot of the blonde to have to come to terms with.
your mum had walked off to make alessia a cup of tea, the blondes eyes wet as her bottom lip jutted out as she wondered her way towards the bathroom, stopping slightly as she reached your bedroom door.
her fingers lingered on the door handle as hesitation filled her body wondering if she should actually cross the threshold. a small movement and her foot was across the carpet as she made her way deeper into your room. her eyes filling up with tears once again, it smelled just like you.
alessia's hand dragged across the bedding which was made neatly, the room was spotless which for you was a rare thing. the softness of the blanket as alessia gripped it, as her legs seem to get weaker and a single tear slid down her cheek as her body slipped down the side of your bed. she stayed in your room, not wanting to move from the comfort of what was once your space.
alessia couldn’t tell you how long she stayed slouched down the side of your bed, in your room. maybe it had been ten minutes, three hours or maybe even a week.
she’d sat and cried with your mum and then she came and sat in your room, where many of days and nights had been spent. alessia’s eyes felt heavy, they were dry and puffy and most definitely red.
as she sat taking in the memories as she stared at the wall where small little photos scattered across the wall, as sense of emptiness filled the room. replacing the usual warmth she would get each time she entered. boxes already filled the room with your things packed in like you had never even existed.
alessia sat her legs outstretched, her fingers toying with the edges of two letters one had just been folded over, the other had been placed in an envelope. alessia’s name written in the nearest of handwriting, a little heart as the dot on the letter i in her name.
she’d read the one that had just been folded over, it being a short goodbye letter. one you probably scribbled in less than twenty minutes but it did reference the other neater letter having the answers that alessia would probably want to the questions that circled in her head.
like why. why’d you leave so soon. why didn’t you tell alessia you’d been struggling for so long. just why.
but she couldn’t bring it in herself to even open the other one, she didn’t think her heart could handle it reading it right now.
“oh less, i’m so sorry” alessia’s head slowly turned to the soft coo of the voice, it was her mum. a sad smile across her face as carol came closer. alessia not making any attempt to move, she couldn’t.
alessia’s mum wrapping her in a tight hug as the walls crashed down again, “she’s gone mum, what am i supposed to do without her..” alessia choked out through tears and sniffles as carol shushed her trying to calm her daughter down.
“let’s get you home, yeah?” carol asked as she pulled away from the hug, alessia still filled with tears as she nodded. small hiccups coming from her as she tried her best to pull herself up from your bedroom floor.
the envelope still held tightly in her hand, as she took on last look around your room. knowing it would probably be the last time she’d ever step foot in there.
a heavy sigh coming from alessia as she looked towards the small teddy that was laid in your neatly made bed, a little bunny that you couldn’t sleep without. every away day, every tournament that small bunny would come with.
alessia took a step towards the little bunny teddy, a little hesitant at first but then slowly reached out to it picking it up and lifting it up to her face. the soft fur as it sunk into her skin, it still smelling just like you. it feeling like you were stood right in front of alessia and boy how much she wished you were and that this wasn’t the reality she was facing now.
but unfortunately it was.
the drive home was long even though it was only a fifteen minute drive, the rain tapped against the glass as carol tried her best to converse with her daughter but alessia was having non of it just the occasional hum as her head leant against the cold glass.
alessia felt empty. she'd cried enough tears to fill a bathtub twice over and now she just felt numb. her eyes were sore, red as well as puffy. she'd lost a part of her.
when alessia finally got home she changed into different clothes feeling a little lighter but her whole body soon felt heavy again as she sat on her couch, your small bunny stuffy in her hand as she looked at the photo of the two of you from the euros final that held pride of place on the blondes tv cabinet as the blonde picked at the food her mum had made for her.
“are you sure your going to be okay on your own less? i can-“ carol asked as she stood leaning against the kitchen island, having sorted out alessia some dinner making sure the blonde actually had a hot meal in her especially after todays events.
“yes! i’ll be fine mum, i just- just need some time. i’ll message if i need anything” alessia’s tone coming across as snappy at first but once she realised she mumbled a small sorry before her tone got softer again. carol opening her mouth to say something but alessia quickly shut her down. “i promise mum, i will”
with that carol nodded, making the blonde a hot drink before leaving, kissing alessia on her head as alessia watched her mum walk out of her front door, waiting the door to click shut.
as soon as it did, she scrambled around placing the hot drink on the coffee table as she found her phone. her eyes glossy as she tapped away at the screen looking for a certain contact, a voice she needed right now.
“hello?- less?.. less?” ella paused, a hint of confusion as to why alessia hadn’t said anything.
“ella-“ alessia voice was shaky and she knew if she said more than two words she’d crumble again.
“less what’s up? how’s y/n, how’s her knee?” ella rattled out as the background noise got quieter, alessia wincing slightly at the sound of your name as she let out a few sniffles — it obvious to ella that something was up with her best friend.
“less, what’s happened? are you okay?” ella spoke fast as she was trying to get answers to her questions. the panic in her voice was evident.
“its y/n- she’s- she’s um” alessia tried to get out fast as she sobbed but she couldn’t bring herself to actually say the word as it hadn’t even processed in the blondes head that you were actually gone.
“woah- slow down less, you not makin’ any sense!” ella tried her best to calm alessia down, telling her to take deep breaths on the other side of the line, as her mind raced with what the end of the sentence was going to be.
“y/n- she’s gone.”
“what do you mean she’s gone? gone where?” ella asked her mind freezing as it hadn’t clicked what alessia meant as in reality that was the last thing she expected her best friend to even mean never mind actually say.
“she’s dead, ella.”
alessia
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alessia today has truly been one of the hardest moments of my life - stepping back onto the pitch and not seeing you there. not being there to walk out onto the pitch with. not being able to watch you eat your jammy dodgers on the coach there.
y/n, you were one of the truest friends i ever had.
when you lose a true friend, the hardest part isn't the big moments, it's the small ones - the ones you take for granted. it's the everyday things which were boring but they made so fun, and so meaningful.
we were european champions together, we travelled to the other side of the world and made it to a world cup final, we played together for the same club. we did so many cool things. but you know what i miss most?
is just seeing you everyday, sitting for hours drinking coffee, your passion, your energy each day even when maybe i wasn’t in the best of moods — you knew how to brighten my day.
you touched so many lives in just 24 years. you wanted to change the world more than anyone i've ever known. you wanted football to be for everyone. this is very close to my heart and everyone who knew y/n personally. i'll be honest it's taken me a while to actually type this, it's still very raw for me.
with y/n y/ln in your life you were never alone. she was always there for others, she always found a way. she was always the one cheering the loudest for others. if you could bottle her energy, the world would be a much better place.
but with a little help her spirit, her warmth, and her legacy will live on. we will make sure of that.
i'll miss you forever. keep painting the skies pink my friend. i love you.
with love, your alessia<3
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 11 months ago
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Could you do some headcanons of a Mc reader dating the BB League Elite 4 + Kieran but miraidon gets super jealous.
It gets to the point where they get out of their Pokeball to growl á them.
Amarys
While she isn't too good at expressing emotions herself, she can read the emotions of others quite well.
Apparently this extends to Pokémon, especially after she notices your Miraidon acting rather irate around her. It even got to the point where they kept bursting from their pokeball to growl at her whenever you're together.
"It seems your Agias has suddenly grown a dislike for me, [y/n]." She remarked one day. "But I cannot figure out why..have I done something to upset them recently?"
"Nothing that I know of. Although I think it's worth mentioning that they're actually called Miraidon, not Agias."
"..is that so? Then I will correct this error right away."
Both of you think that after she apologizes, the problem would be resolved...yet it continues, with Miraidon always budging into your conversations, trying to get you on their back and fly/drive off without warning, etc.
All of this happens despite there being no danger present.
Eventually, you chalk up their protective nature to one probable cause: Jealousy.
You were spending more time with Amarys, and perhaps that made your futuristic companion worried you'll spend less with them.
When you brought this up to your gf, she's surprised and isn't too sure how to resolve this..
Considering she's new to relationships, she didn't expect a Pokémon of all things to become so jealous of her.
You end up suggesting that the two bonded (outside of timed flying trials of course) so that they could learn to trust her more.
Despite lacking emotional depth, she still tries her best, knowing this would greatly benefit all three of you in the long run if you were going to continue dating.
Crispin
"Hey uh..your Pokémon is giving me a funny look again.....w-was the sandwich too spicy for them? I can always turn down the heat."
He's straight-up convinced that Miraidon is mad at him because he's making their sandwich the wrong way.
So he keeps changing up the ingredients, hoping to satisfy them (yet it doesn't help when they keep popping out of the pokeball and scaring him).
You've figured out ages ago that they were simply jealous of how much time you were spending with your new bf.
Alas, you're dating a chef who's not only a hothead, but an airhead as well.
"Do you think your Miraidon and Magmortar got into an argument? Because they keep staring at him like they wanna rip him apart..haha.."
"No, honey..it's you, not your Pokémon."
"....ohhh so you're saying I got into an argument with Miraidon! Yeah that makes sense..I did sorta lose my cool with them the other day..."
Sometimes you wonder if a bonk from that frying pan of his would help knock some sense into him....
Instead, though, you just have him sit down in the club room while you explain Miraidon's jealousy in detail.
Crispin finally understands and immediately feels bad (and a little dumb knowing it took him this long to realize it). He's rushing to apologize to your companion, promising to make them the best sandwich possible--hot or not.
He still gets nervous about kissing you/holding your hand when they're nearby, often feeling the need to hide behind the pan.
But you reassure him it's okay.
Drayton
Tbh he kinda relishes in the huffy demeanor your Miraidon has been displaying in recent days.
The way they gnash their teeth, circle around him, make sparks fly, hover over you, and light up their eyes as though preparing to use Electro Drift...
Yep, despite how flashy and futuristic they are...all Drayton sees is another dragon type Pokémon who's throwing temper tantrums.
And being such chill guy around dragons, he has no fear and instead teases them behind your back, getting them riled up.
"Oh c'mon. You don't scare me. I know you've been looking out for [y/n]...and watching them hang out with Kingdra and Archaludon-"
"Agiiaaassss.."
"...there it is." He laughs. "Look, I'm not "stealing" them from ya. So let's just try to get along for their sake, alright?"
"......"
"Right. I knew we'd come to an understandin'."
Somehow, the two are VERY good at hiding this little grudge from you, although you have noticed Miraidon being more protective than usual over you whenever Drayton's around.
But it boils over when they saw you shining his Archaludon's armor while on a picnic date, throwing a fit and almost having a fullblown battle with each other without either of you at the helm.
Luckily, all the other dragons on your team diffused the situation...
You're a little bit outraged (pun not intended) that Drayton never told you of Miraidon's jealousy issues--and that he was taunting them for it.
"C'mon, they know I'm only kidding around."
"...our Pokémon almost broke the damn table."
"I'll pay for the damages."
"I think you're missing the point here, babe.."
Lacey
From the moment she started showing you around the school...she wondered why Miraidon was acting weird.
Her first thought was that they could sense her being a fairy type trainer, but she isn't sure what to do about that, so she keeps quiet.
But after you two started dating, they grew more protective of you and jealous of her..and it's something she notices waaaay before you do.
After it gets to the point of them jumping out of their pokeball to scare her (and quickly go back in without you seeing them), her nerves were shot.
Even so, she doesn't want you to worry. So she keeps trying to be friendly towards them, but it's hard.
Doesn't help that Granbull is being quite sassy towards the electric/dragon type, too, growing just as protective over Lacey as they are over you.
And ofc she has to quell their argument before things turn ugly...and one day, it almost did.
"I'm sorry, but this is NOT right!" She crosses her arms, standing between the two Pokémon. "Granbull, I know you're better than this. And Miraidon, I know you don't trust me, but you need to-"
"What's going on, Lace?"
"!!!"
You were gone for all but two minutes, and you come back to your poor gf trying to stop a Pokémon battle from taking place.
Finally, she admits that Miraidon has been acting extremely jealous and it's made her nervous.
You feel terrible for not realizing this sooner, and promise to speak to your companion about it.
Least to say..you wind up coddling them and giving them treats, reassuring them you'll still pay attention to them--but they had to be nice to Lacey and not antagonize her fairies.
Reluctantly, they agree on the condition of getting a sandwich everyday.
Kieran
Considering Miraidon saved his life, it was definitely strange when that same Pokémon now seemingly hated his guts..
This all happened the moment you and him starting dating, with them popping out of the pokeball (and not because he mentioned sandwiches) and growling before you could share your first kiss.
It was embarrassing for Kieran, and he doesn't know how to earn their trust back.
He just muddles over the fact that he was...definitely less-than-kind to you, their trainer, back before the trip to Area Zero.
He said things to you that he didn't mean, things he regretted saying..and suddenly he wonders if Miraidon could have possibly heard all of that.
If they could hear you both discussing sandwiches, then surely....
It genuinely starts to stress him out, as he's trying so hard to make amends with everyone and not be hated anymore.
And yet he seemed to be forgiven by all...except for Miraidon.
Maybe they even regret saving him
You notice that your bf is starting to cower behind you at their presence, being scared to look them in the eye, etc.
Eventually, you get him to confess that he thinks your companion despises him, and the guilt resurfaces enough to make him cry, kneeling and pleading for their forgiveness.
But you comfort and reassure him that Miraidon's only jealous of you two spending so much time together.
"R-Really? That's all it was...?"
"Yep. I already gave them a stern talking to." You help him stand up. "I'm sorry they keep coming off as aggressive. They just gotta warm up to you a little more, that's all."
"So they don't..hate me?"
"Nope."
After that, Kieran tries his best to earn the dragon type's respect, becoming a bit braver with each interaction.
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sweatervest-obsessed · 9 months ago
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okay so i'm thinking post!prison reid and reader break up bc he's not ready to be in a relationship after everything that happened in prison. they just don't get back together bc when spence is finally ready it's been a while and they both think it's too late and no one makes a move and they remain as friends UNTIL jj's love confession brings some feelings back onto the surface - reader finds out about it and (cue jeid and their weird, longing glances🥲) has a whole it's all really over moment and then there's distance between her and spencer until there's a confrontation about it and BAM a love confession and second chances😁😁
THIS IS SUCH A MESS but i hope you get my point</33
Um yeah so, absolutely. Some angst for you indeed. I love a convoluted and angsty fight, especially whenever someone is arguing in circles with someone else because they're both just so passionate but angry, anyways, heheh, enjoy!!
WC: 1.5k
TW: Arguing, mentions of violence, mentions of prison, mentions of guns, honestly if you watched CM then that is your TW.
“I just want to know why you’ve been so distant lately. I mean, this is the first time I’m speaking with you one on one in over a week, and it’s because I manage to catch you in the office at nine fucking pm Y/n.”
"So what do you want me to say, Spence? What could I possibly have to say to you? I'm pretty sure Jennifer said everything there is to say."
This caused Spencer to lose all of the oxygen in his body. It froze up. You weren’t supposed to know what JJ had said, no one was supposed to know what JJ had said. 
You and Spencer were in the bullpen of the BAU. Luckily for both of you, since it was so late, no one else was there. Neither of you were extremely public when it came to your relationship, which meant neither of you would have chosen to have this conversation fight in a public place, but no one else was around.
I want you to say something you're afraid to say. Something you'd never tell anybody. And you better make it good. Cause if it's not, it's going to be the last thing you ever say. What's it gonna be?
“How did you know about that?” He whispered. 
“JJ asked Garcia to go through the footage, apparently she wanted to make sure no one could ever access the audio from it.”
"Y/n I--" Spencer closed his eyes, his jaw set. He didn’t even know what to say at this point. You had both clearly made up your minds about this, yet neither of you wanted to see the carnage, the outcome of it all. So, instead, you chose to stand in the middle of the bullpen, fighting against one another.
Fighting for one another.
"I just don't understand why you're so upset about this."
“Spencer–you didn’t even tell me about it, I had to find out about it from Penelope, and who knows who else she told. You were afraid to tell me, yet that giant genius brain of yours can’t, oh I don't know, comprehend just a teeny tiny little bit why this makes me upset?" For the millionth time this evening, you scoffed. 
Something you would never say aloud, not even to your partner. Your deepest, darkest secret. Impress me, or I'll kill him.
"Y/n--"
Spence, I've always loved you. I was just too scared to say it before, and now things are really just too complicated to say it now. I'm sorry, but you should know.
"Fuck Spencer I have been in love with you since I first fucking joined this team." You gasped out. The air around your head got thinner and felt dizzying like you were floating through the air now that this was off your chest. "And I loved you when you asked me on a date. I loved you through Emily's death. I loved you when you asked me to move in with you. I loved you through when Morgan left the team. I loved you through Hotch leaving. I loved you through fucking Cat Adams. I loved you even after I came home one night and you were making out with her against our fucking door. I loved you through every single case and every single flaw. I loved you when you fucking relapsed a few years ago. I even loved you when you went MIA for weeks and then found out you were in a fucking Prison. And I still fucking love you now. But, instead of being together, you asked for a break."
"That's not fair..." He whispered.
"What? Respecting you and your boundaries? Knowing that you needed time to readjust after you had been released, and believing in your promise that once you felt ready to try a relationship again you'd come to me and talk to me about it? And then watching as you fall for JJ all fucking over again? With your stupid fucking glances. This isn't a goddamn tv show Reid, I can see when you both stare at one another across the room, I can see it."
"We don't.."
"You do. You both do. And then, you tell me that Jennifer fucking Jareau is willing to make her last words the fact that she has always loved you and has always been in love with you, and you---" Your voice froze, the sound cutting out. You looked straight at Spencer, not caring about the tears running down your cheeks. You watched as his hand twitched up. When the two of you were dating, Spencer used to wipe away every single of your tears. But now he wouldn't even lift his hand.
"I--what."
You took another breath, trying to calm down, and really think through your words. "This woman who has been your best friend for over a decade just fucking confessed her love for you, in a life-or-death situation, and you're telling me, that she just fucking made it up, pulled it out of her ass, or at least is telling you that she did and now the two of you are going to act like everything is normal and okay?"
"Y/n..."
"You were in love with her for years Spencer. And now, all of a sudden she confesses her love to you, and that changes nothing?"
"No, Y/n, it doesn't. It changes nothing. Does it hurt a bit? Yes. Does it change the fact that I love you? No." Spencer was trying to keep his voice level, hoping you'll continue to match his volume since he didn't want anyone to potentially stumble by and hear your argument. His hand reached for your wrist, but you couldn't bear to feel his skin against yours.
This caused you to let out a water laugh, tears sliding into your mouth, ugly but pouring down your cheeks. A waterfall of grief in all of its rawest forms.
"You still love me."
"Why-Why is that funny."
"I have been waiting to hear those words since you walked out of that fucking prison and the first time I hear it in years, it's because you're trying to justify loving someone else."
"That's not true."
Make it a million and one, you scoffed.
"I have loved you since the moment you first walked through those doors. You were in a pale blue pair of pants, and a black sweater--I remember it because Emily complimented the pants. I spend my whole life loving you and manage to never fully give you every single piece of love I have because there's simply not enough time in the world. I would kill for you. I would go to prison all over again if it meant you would be okay in this world." Spencer ran a hand through his hair, his voice strained. But his eyes never left yours. "Last week, when that unsub had his gun against your head, I fired before he even spoke, not because I assessed it was the right time or whatever fucking excuse I gave to Emily. I fired that bullet because if you died in front of me, I'd......The only thing I was thinking about the entire fucking time JJ and I were stuck in that room was how the fuck I was going to be able to tell you I love you one last time because I wasn't fucking smart enough to take my chance and say it to you every single day."
Your chest was heaving, but you didn't move towards him. It didn't feel right, it didn't feel real.
Spencer was able to take your hand in his, enclosing it between both of his, trying to get you to look at him. "I should have told you the moment I was ready to try a relationship again, but I thought you...I thought you had moved on because I wasn't worth waiting for."
This caused you to laugh again, eyes red from crying. "Don't fucking start with that shit Spencer.''
"I'm telling the god's honest truth."
"I waited for you throughout all of Prison. I waited for you through Maeve. I am still pathetically standing right fucking in front of you, waiting for you to hopefully realize that you still love me."
He kissed your hand. "And I don't deserve you at all for it."
"Do you still love her?"
"Y/n."
"Answer the question, Spencer. Or I'm done. I-I can't do this any longer, watching you....the way she looks at you just--"
Spencer pulled you into his arms, enclosing your body in his arms and kissing the side of your head. "I have always, and will always, love you Y/n Y/l/n. And I want to spend the rest of our lives proving to you that I would choose you, I want you, over and over again."
“That’s not an answer Spencer.” You whispered, rigid in his arms.
“I-I.” He closed his eyes. “I did. And I still do love her, but not like that. I haven’t been i-in love with her since the moment you walked through those doors.”
Spencer felt the weight of your head against his shoulder as you finally conceded and hugged him back, tightly. “Let's go home.” He muttered into your head, waiting patiently for you to hum in agreement. 
Neither of you moved though. You both stood there, locked eternally in the other’s embrace, enjoying the peace you felt for the moment, even though tomorrow was a new day, where you would have to sort through how you really felt about all of this. 
But tonight, you stood with your arms around your love, forever.
734 notes · View notes
camryn-haitani · 7 months ago
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Hiii ! Absolutely love your writing ! :). Wanted to request one about Colby Brock. maybe something where Colby is your best friend but has feelings for you, he finds out you fucked some other dude or something. He gets jealous and has jealous sex with you? Something like that? :) 🖤
he absolutely would
oh, better than me?
Colby Brock x Fem reader
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Colby sees you go off into some room with another guy, so he proves to you that's he's better than the other guy.
TW: SMUT, cursing, p in v sex, unprotected sex, no established relationship in beginning, alcohol consumption, name calling, dirty talk, oral (fem receiving), fingering (fem receiving), argument, Colby listening you and the other guy, Colby had a tongue piercing (one mention)
you've always had that school girl sized crush on Colby. ever since he came into that bar you were at, you immediately hit it off. constant flirting, lust filled eyes, stolen glances whenever you looked back at the TV, you name it.
lately he's been hanging around a lot of other girls. you didn't know if he's unintentionally doing it or he's doing it to make you jealous.
you texted him around an hour ago about a party you got invited to and he responded with "k".
you don't know if you made him mad or what. you recall this past week to see if you did something to upset him, but nothing comes to mind. you decided to go my yourself and leave Colby behind.
you put on your skimpiest outfit and took a mirror selfie. you felt yourself get more confident the more you look at yourself and your outfit.
"you know what," you said to yourself in the mirror, "I shouldn't be worried about some emo boy. I should have fun tonight and not have a care in the world." you say back in your bed and post the pic of you on your Instagram story.
a good five minutes pass and your notifications are going crazy. "holy shit, what's up?" you unlock your phone and your insta DMs are filling up with people telling you how gorgeous and sexy you look. you smirk at the flirty comments people were still sending you and put your phone on silent.
time skip
you arrive at the place of the party and are immediately greeted by familiar faces and some new ones.
"looking good, sexy!"
"y/n, you look amazing as always!"
"how about we spend some time alone, doll?"
your ears filled with constant compliments as you make your way to the kitchen. you pour some vodka into the small glass and down it in one go. you start to pour another one until a voice interrupts you.
"mind if I join you, sweetheart?"
you look over your shoulder to see a man with (hair length and color) hair. he's got his hands on your waist, pushing up against your ass.
"not at all." you grab another shot glass and pour him a drink. you hand it to him and y'all bring your glasses together.
"to-?" he pauses, not knowing what to cheers to.
"to being single?" you say.
he nods his head. "to being single." he says as he downs his shot the same time you do.
you set your shot glasses down as he presses up against you again. his hands leaning on the counter, his lips barely touching yours.
"wanna go somewhere more private, darling? you look absolutely divine and I bet you taste even better." he bites your lower lip and slightly tugs, making your lip slap against your teeth.
"you read my mind, handsome." you lips catch his as you wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him in closer.
his hands find your ass and he plays with the fat. fondling, grabbing, and slapping your ass as you two continue your heated kiss.
he easily picks you up and walks to an unoccupied room.
you were too busy caught up in y'all's kiss that you failed to notice a pair of blue eyes watching your every move.
the man taps the door open since his hands were caught up in feeling you up. he shuts the door and lays on the bed, patting his legs signalling for you to sit.
your panties already dripping, he slips his middle finger in. you sigh and drop your head.
his fingers were long, slim, and veiny. feeling almost full from just one finger, he adds another one.
"come on, doll. this much noise from two fingers? just wait till your filled with my cock, hm?"
those words almost make you cum, then and there but you kept your composure. his fingers dipping in and out with the occasion brush of his palm against your clit.
his finger tips hitting that spot over and over.
"cumming... please." your head in the crook of his neck.
"cum for me then princess."
your eyes roll back as you fuck back into his fingers.
he stands up and places you on the bed. his unbuckles his pants and underwear. cock leaking with his pre as you eye his tip.
"don't worry princess, I'll go slow with you."
from the other side of the door was Colby with his ear pressed against the wood.
as soon as he saw you two go upstairs, he threw the girl off his lap and follow you.
to be honest, he didn't know why he was an asshole to you. he liked the attention the women gave him but he craved yours. he wasn't good with his feelings but he was certain about these. he was in love with you, and watching you go up with that guy made him oh so very jealous.
skin slapping against each other, your choked moans, his grunts, your wet pussy echoing in the room made Colby wish he was doing that to you.
he went back downstairs and out the door.
"hey where you.... going, Colby?" Sam yelled from the couch. Sam shrugged it off and continued kissing another girl. Colby raced home and waited for you to do the same.
you said your goodbyes and decided to go home.
your keys jingle trying to unlock the door and you're met with a very upset Colby. you set your stuff down and walk to your room.
“had fun?”
“excuse me?”
“you heard me,” he gets up from the couch, “you're definitely stupid, but not deaf.”
you're shocked, eyes wide and mouth open. “excuse me?!”
“wow maybe all that hoeing around made you deaf.”
“‘hoeing around’?” you ask
“oh please, I bet you've slept with at least 6 guys this month.”
you're hurt he would accuse you of such things. “for the fucking record, that was the first guy I've slept with in 3 months.”
“only 3?”
“oh my god, Colby! do you not get it?” you yell
“what, that you're a slut? I knew that part.”
“oh my fucking god! I'm in love with you for God's sake! get that through your thick ass skull!” you smack the side of his head.
“what…?” he holds where you hit him.
“yes! are you that fucking oblivious?!” you shout, gripping your hair. “I never knew you were so fucking blind.”
silence was all that came from him.
“oh, now you wanna shut the fuck up? yeah I love you, but I bet 100$ you like one of you're little bitches-” you get cut off by his lips crashing on yours.
“I'll show you that I'm better than him. I swear it, princess.”
Colby rips your panties off as he picks you up by your thighs. he hikes you up so your pussy is by his lips.
your back against the wall as his tongue flicks and sucks on your clit. your hands tangled in his dark hair, pushing him further into you.
the warm metal caressing your folds every time he licks a fat stripe up your pussy.
“just…. so you k-know. I'm still mad at you. oh fuck…” tears prick your eyes. his tongue felt too good.
he dives his tongue back into your hole, wanting every drop of your slick.
“fuck, Colbs.. cumming.” without enough time, your orgasm washes over you.
“hm, that was faster than that other guy. wasn't it?” he asks.
your eyes wide in realization that he was listening but before you could say anything, he tossed you on the couch.
Colby wastes no time getting his pants and boxers off. your mouth waters as you look at his cock.
‘he's bigger than the other guy..’
“just so you know, I'm not gonna go slow with you.” he says, mocking the guy from earlier.
his tip pushes past your folds as he goes faster.
he presses your knees into your chest, forcing you to take him deeper.
your back arches while you throw your head back, but he grips your chin making you look into his eyes.
“nuh uh, pretty girl. look at me while you take all of me. I want you to know who's fucking you this good.”
you never dared to look away from him, in fear he won't let you cum.
Colby's tip hitting right in that spot that makes you see stars. your pleas turn into incoherent babbling, hands losing all feeling and going limp at your sides, but still looking into his eyes.
“cu-... cum…” you surprisingly got out.
“come on, princess. cum for me, let everyone know who's making you feel this good.” he says.
those words make that rope snap inside you, pleasure taking control over you. you grab his cheeks and bring him in to kiss you.
he melts his lips into yours as he came inside you, your walls still twitching around him.
heavy pants are the only sounds in the whole room.
“I'm sorry for calling you a slut and saying you were hoeing around. I was jealous and seeing you with that guy made me extremely mad. I love you too.” he looks at you.
“I thought you didn't feel the same way so that's why I slept with him… I'm sorry.” you apologize.
“so… are we like.. a thing now?” he asks. “please say yes.” he adds.
“yes, Colby. I love you.”
“I love you too, y/n.”
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moodymisty · 4 months ago
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Hiii!!! I LOVE everything you write since I followed you a long time ago. I would like to read something about Rogal Dorn. I can't find ANYTHING about him and i just can't stop thinking about him.
I don't mind if it's smut, whatever you feel confortable with, but if it can have a little bit of fluff i would LOVE It.
Thank you for everything.💞
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Author's note: Ok so I am deciding to do an idea i have for awhile, that I believe someone else posted but I cannot remember who. anyhoo, enjoy. Perhaps it's not as fluffy as you might have wanted, but fluffy Dorn is sort of awkward, nice Dorn so I hope you still like it;;
Relationships: Rogal Dorn/Fem!Reader (reader is a remembrancer)
Warnings: Perturabo calls you a whore but other than that nothing really of note
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"I never did thank you properly for all of the clothes, Lord Dorn."
You look up at him, golden armor still shining in the relative dimness of the bridge- to only get a light nod of his head in response.
Inwit is freezing, unfathomably cold, and the clothes you had worn previously on Olympia failed to cut it. That had been a very quick, and very upsetting realization. Dorn had- in his stalwart silence - requisitioned you more only a few days later. Many more, custom-made. They were lined with warm furs and comfortable, built for hard winds and ice, trapping your body heat close to you. You had taken some of the layers off since you were arriving to Terra, a planet with a much more tempered climate. You don't miss the burning of your cheeks and frozen snot, but you do miss the planet overall.
Terra... Coming here makes you nervous. You know who is going to be here. Take a few deep, self-assuring breaths before looking in Dorn's general direction. The large glass viewport at the front of the bridge illuminates most of the floor, casting you all in a variety of colors.
"Lord Dorn, may I ask you a question about something?"
He turns to you, looking down at your hesitant expression.
"Did Perturabo make you beg permission to speak to him? Just ask it."
He did, more often than not. You remember more than a few instances.
"Well, he was actually going to be what I wanted to ask about."
You twisted your wrists in your hands, trying to do some sort of fidget to focus on while Dorn had his full attention on you.
"Has he always hated you? The entire time I was in his company, there was always just undertone of pure, seething hatred for you, but whenever I saw you, you didn't seem to even care."
There are a few other Imperial Fists on the bridge, watching as Terra comes into view. You're in the process of getting caught by the planet's orbit and mooring close enough to come down to the surface. You can see the palace already, even from this far, a golden target that is still growing larger with each day.
"Perturabo has always been that way, yes."
Dorn turns to briefly give an order to a questioning Imperial Fist, before returning to you and his explanation.
"He sees competition in my existence. I don't care."
Polux approaches, choosing to stand on your opposing side and wait patiently for his moment to speak. You give him a brief smile as greeting before returning your eyes to his primarch. Dorn looks forward and out the viewport, watching the palace of his design inch closer and closer.
"Sanguinius and Horus' rivalry is even matched. They both find growth from it. Perturabo's rivalry with me is a childish urge to beat me into the ground and prove to everyone that he is better."
You don't disagree with him in even the slightest. Perturabo was always so desperate to beat Dorn above all else, even to the detriment of other facets of his life.
"Despite the fact that he isn't?"
Dorn looks at you fully again, eyebrows raised and you swear, you swear, the inkling of a smile on his face.
"You have spent more time with him than I. Do you think that?" He turns on his heel slightly, armor shifting and clanking against eachother to face you more.
"Do you think The Emperor was right in claiming me Praetorian over him?"
You've been with the Imperial fists for a few months now, and this is far from the first time you've spoken to Dorn. Far more than you ever interacted with Perturabo, despite the fact that Dorn is known for being tight lipped and humorless.
You nod.
"Yes, I do. Perturabo's plans are always so complex, and he hinges them and his entire self worth on being better than you. And when he fails, he sulks." You smile. "I don't imagine you or your sons to be the type to sit and pout if something went wrong. You would all be too busy trying to correct it."
Dorn looks down at you, face as stoic and frozen as you've become quite used to. You don't know entirely what he's thinking, but you don't get a chance to ask before someone else's voice interrupts you.
Polux has a younger astartes walk up to him, stating some information that flows in one ear and out the other for you before walking away. He turns to the both of you, looking two his primarch but referring to the both of you.
"My lord, we are ready to depart for the palace. Is she accompanying us?"
You've never stepped foot on Terra before, to even come into it's orbit is an idea that you could barely handle; Alongside the fact that the primarch and his captains have little need for you there. You gather yourself, preparing to return to the Librarium aboard the ship to continue your work before Dorn's voice stops you in your tracks and sends almost every emotion through you at once.
"She is. Let us go."
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Your first time on Terra was going well, in the first hour or so.
Dorn isn't much of a communicator, so he has spent the long of it conversing with his men, giving orders even while not aboard his ship. Either orders given to send back to the Phalanx, or to the Imperial Fists on Terra assisting with the Palace construction. You stand idly by and occasionally draw, or write something down that interests you.
The smoothness stops however, when Dorn looks away abruptly. His sons are confused, before they also perk up not a moment later. You look to Polux, as you know he's the one who will most likely acquiesce to your questions.
"What is it?" You say. He tilts his head vaguely in your direction, but doesn't actually look at you.
"Primarch Perturabo is on his way. He must've heard we had arrived," Polux takes a breath, presumably steeling himself for whatever is to come.
"His... footsteps are quite loud." Not a few more moments later now even you can hear them, and then see him shortly thereafter.
Perturabo storms closer; You can tell by the red flush over his tanned skin, that he is beyond furious.
Dorn looks down at you, and points behind him. His voice leaves no room for question, not as if you would even considering doing so in the first place.
"Go to Vulkan."
The Salamander's primarch had finished speaking to Dorn not long ago, now standing across the massive open area that you presumed served as a training ground for the astartes. You do as your now primarch commands and rush towards him, feeling his eyes on him as you approach.
"I am terribly sorry to bother you Lord Vulkan, but My lord Dorn told me to-" He ushers you closer with a hand, his voice gentle despite his overwhelming size.
"I am well aware of your circumstances, and what is more than likely about to play out. You can stay here with me."
You take refuge close to the Salamander's primarch, both standing and watching as Perturabo confronts Dorn. Multiple of his Imperial Fists straighten up and hold themselves at the ready, prepared to fight for their primarch if it ever be needed.
"Dorn!"
A disrespectful finger points his way, but Dorn pays it no mind. The white fabric of Perturabo's Olympian clothes flow softly and comfortably in the gentle wing, in contrast to the sharp, unforgiving features of his face.
"You think you can just steal from me now? Are you truly so bold now that you're praetorian?"
Dorn only speaks up when Perturabo is close enough that he doesn't have to yell.
"She wanted to leave."
Dorn speaks plainly, bluntly, as if he's just totally uncaring of the conversation.
You've learned over time that Dorn is far from emotionless; He merely doesn't waste it on things he deems pointless. This is pointless, and so he only speaks with the most blunt, monotone voice. It pisses Perturabo off to an unfathomable degree.
To think he was so upset about your departure without his dismissal. He had been nothing but cold and cruel to you, despite the fact that you were merely there to document his legion's progresses.
"I don't care what she wanted. She was indebted to my legion, and I will not tolerate deserters no matter how useless I think they are,"
Perturabo yells. Once his frustration at Dorn is exhausted enough that his attention can be deviated, he turns his gaze to you.
It feels like the gravity of a planet is pushing down onto you, the sheer weight of his anger. Even from so far away. Even the weight of Primarch Vulkan's hand on your shoulder does nothing to shield you from it.
"I hope you heard me, you lying, traitorous little whore. I hope you know I'll wring your neck myself when I catch you."
It takes every bit of energy to avoid crumbling instantly, at the threat of a primarch. Thankfully he leaves shortly after, storming off with the flowing white fabric of his clothes flowing behind him.
Vulkan sighs. You think he said something to reassure you, but you can't hear it over the thumping of your heart in your ears.
"I truly don't think there is much we can do to change him." Corvus- whom you've only just realized was here the entire time with a startle upon hearing his voice - shakes his head.
"His desire to be superior is tripped up at every point by his insufferable personality."
Vulkan looks down at you as an Imperial Fist approaches.
"Are you alright?" He says, and the caring nature of it is a bit overwhelming.
"I, I hope so." Vulkan doesn't laugh, but there is a softness on his face as he smiles at you. Corvus simply watches, and you once again realized that he was there.
"We all know Dorn. He has mentioned you quite a bit,"
"For him," Corvus adds. Vulkan gives him a quick look before turning back to you.
"I do not think he would ever allow anything to happen to you."
The reassurance of a primarch is a feeling next to none; But so it's the threat of one. They both battle in your heart and soul as the Imperial Fist reaches you.
"Lord Dorn is going to have one of us escort you back to the ship."
You nod, looking up to Vulkan to thank him. He simply smiles and speaks before you have a chance to give any gratitude.
"Stay safe, little one."
You follow that Imperial Fist back, before he leaves you on your own close to your quarters. Once you get into them, the door shutting behind you with a hiss, your chest starts to tighten like something has a hold on it.
Every Iron Warrior now likely knows that Perturabo wants your head on a pike. You try to steady your breathing, dumping your papers onto your small desk and sitting on the edge of your bed with a soft thud.
It's getting harder to breath, you swallow a massive knot in your throat. You try to shake your leg, dig your fingers into your palms to stop the feeling, like your heart is going to explode, the thumping of blood in your ears-
It starts to level down after awhile, the room steadies and no longer is spinning. Once that happens, the tears actually start to come, and you keep trying to wipe them away each time a few fall.
You don't regret leaving the Iron Warriors; Olympia. You don't know what Dorn saw in you that was enough for him to offer you a place but you don't regret taking it. His legion's treatment of you compared to your time on Olympia was incomparable, but the petty nature you had witnessed from the primarch was now focused on you; Your betrayal of fleeing to Dorn.
You have your arms wrapped around yourself, tightening them as someone opens your door. Your momentary startle fades when you realize who it is.
It's Dorn. You don't know when his presence stopped being so intimidating, even as a primarch; Perhaps it's the time you've spent with him recently that has gotten you used to him.
"You have been crying."
It would surely be easy to tell- you can still fear the wetness of tears on your face. You take a deep breath and clear your throat to try and speak normally.
"Primarch Perturabo wants my beaten corpse at his feet, and I don't, I don't know what to do-"
He comes closer, face neutral and stoic. You try and contain the emotion on your face.
Stupid, all of it, is what Perturabo would've said to you. You were always a stupid, pointless inconvenience forced upon him. But yet one he was still so upset to see leave.
"I knew very well how he would behave when I offered you a place here. I will not allow him to harm you."
In his own, odd way, the sentence calms you. It's not a lie, it is the utmost truth put into blunt, simple words. You sniffle and unwrap your arms from around yourself, returning to some level of normalcy.
"Thank you..." You say, and Dorn- to your surprise - kneels.
"Do not thank me for something I should do. I put you in this predicament and made you an enemy of him."
Dorn is quiet for a moment. You look at him questioningly, but he doesn't seem to notice. Then suddenly a hand rests heavy on your shoulder, and he leans in to press his lips to yours.
It's only a split second, it's chaste and quick, and he pulls away as a string of spit snaps between you both. You barely even have a chance to process it all; A primarch just kissed you. You had liked him, but you firmly pushed those thoughts from your mind for the sheer absurdity of them.
“You shouldn’t cry.” At first you think he’s telling you not to be weak- To suck it up.
“I, should not have allowed him to speak to you that way. I allowed him to make you cry.”
Crying is nothing; the fact that he has said he would protect you from an enraged primarch that by all intents and purposes you betrayed, is more than worth its weight. You don’t care about the crying.
"I'll be fine. I just needed a minute, and," You laugh. "Hopefully that's the last time I ever see his face." Dorn doesn't smile, but his voice has a gentle tilt of amusement that makes you smile a bit wider.
"I admit I would be jealous of you if that were to be the case."
You don't envy that he will have to continue to deal with Perturabo, especially now that your presence has created a deeper rift. Alongside his duties as Praetorian.
Dorn rises up from his knee and reaches out a hand.
"I am going to speak to my men about progress of the Palace walls. Come with me."
You take his hand, and you expect him to just allow you to pull yourself up, but instead he wraps his fingers around it and holds your hand, guiding you out of your room. He lets go moments after, but the gesture was there none the less.
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sideeve · 1 year ago
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ㅤ ㅤ ㅤPRAY YOU CATCH ME
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lulu's notes ! ; i am so srry for being inactive. i have no excuse tbh. but have this! based off of beyonce's pray you catch me
ingredients :: angst, cheating, mike having dreams abt cheating, breaking up, vanessa being that girl
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"i'm going to go find some blankets." vanessa stands up, walking away to retrieve blankets for abby's fort. mike's eyes focused on vanessa's backside as she walked away, hips swaying to a non-existent beat.
"i'm going to use the restroom." mike leaves you no room to comment before he runs away, heading away from the bathroom. you watch him with furrowed brows, trying to understand why mike was so weird recently.
since he had picked up a job at the pizzeria, the state of your relationship was declining. mike had barely made eye contact with you, he didn't notice your presence at all. whenever you did talk, it was all about vanessa.
vanessa this. vanessa that.
you couldn't remember the last time mike had been so passionate about something. let alone someone.
it might have been your paranoia but mike was taking a long time to be only using the restroom. "abby, how long ago did vanessa go get the blankets?" you interrupt abby and bonnie's play session. she shrugs, "i don't know. she's been taking too long."
you pout, thinking of the next course of action for you to do. trust mike and pray he's being faithful or investigate and bust his ass.
your gut was screaming at you to stand up and find out what was taking you so long. your body felt weak with each step to took, getting closer to the storage room.
"your girlfriend is right outside this room and you decided to make a move on me?!" through the closed door, you could hear vanessa's upset voice. your stomach sank. you fucking knew it. mike was a liar.
"look, i'm sorry. i-i don't know what came over me." mike stammered as he tried to de-escalate his current situation. "just don't say anything."
and he was a pussy?! you really do know how to pick them.
you humorlessly chuckle to yourself. all these times you called yourself crazy for suspecting he was a cheater. all the times you tried to push those feelings deep down in your stomach. it was all useless.
you heard them shuffling towards the door. in a panic, you rush back to abby's fort, painting yourself happy as if you hadn't just heard them arguing. "hey, baby." mike slides beside you, kissing your cheek. you force yourself to not cringe and let him kiss you.
walking behind him was a pissed vanessa. the both of you meet eyes, telepathically sending each other the same message. mike follows your line of sight, panicking as he thought vanessa was about to speak. "uh abby! it's past your bedtime isn't it?" he nervously chuckles, looking for a safe way to get the three of you to go home.
"but mike!" abby whines. "nope! you have school in the morning." mike stands up to scoop abby in his arms. gesturing his head to tell you to get up.
abby was asleep in the back of mike's car as he drove you three of you home. you looked out the window, watching the tree pass by in a dark night. the pregnant silence was making mike nervous. the only source of sound was abby's light snores and the radio which was playing a station mike despises. "did you have fun?" mike breaks the silence.
you hum in response. you knew if you spoke, you would've woken up abby due to your yelling. "you-you look pretty."
mike only stuttered around you if he was hiding something. "did you have fun, mike?" your eyes were still on the window. "yeah. i loved making the fort with you and abby."
"nothing else?"
"just you two." he smiles.
his dishonesty was on his breath; you could taste it in the air. and he passed it on so casually. every word he let out was a lie. it was like being truthful wasn't in his code.
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vanessa giggles as she straddles mike's hips, his hands softly gripping her hips. "are you sure she doesn't suspect us?" she whispers on his lips before closing the gap between the two of them. "she doesn't suspect a thing." he bites her lip teasingly.
this is how it was supposed to go. mike wanted to be this close with vanessa--this intimate. it felt right for him.
lips still attached to each other, mike sees you standing there, watching this unravel. "[name]!" mike quickly pushes vanessa off of him. as he scrambles to find the right words, he takes note of your face. you were upset but you were softly smiling. you took the opportunity to speak before him.
"what are you doing, my love?"
mike gasps awake, his chest heaving. "fuck." he groans, rubbing his forehead. on instinct, he rolls over to your side, hugging your body. except...you weren't there. matter of fact, none of your things were there. the slippers you left at the side of the bed. your favorite perfume you used to leave on his dresser. none of it.
"no, no." mike scrambles out of his bed, running outside to see if your car was still parked in his driveway. in defeat, he sulks back into his house. it felt so empty without you. you were what brought the house together. you made lively.
he was now facing the consequences of not cherishing what was in front of him--what he needed.
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notsoattractivearenti · 1 year ago
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I'm All Yours (Mason Mount x Fem!Reader) 🔞
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WC: 1.2K
Warnings: SMUT, oral sex (m receiving), curse and vulgar words. MINORS DNI
A/N: i think we all know why i wrote this one 🫣🤭 this was meant to be a fluff but somehow i started to write smutty lines and there was no turning back lmao blame mason. yes this is short, not proofread and i'm not good at writing smut btw so apologies in advance if this isn't decent 🫣 tho i hope you guys enjoy and i’d love to hear your thoughts thru ask/reply/reblog 🫶🏻 apologies for any errors! feedbacks are highly appreciated 🤍
After 5 weeks out because of the injury he picked up at the Spurs game in August, Mason was finally back on the field for a game against Crystal Palace for the EFL Cup. Throughout the recovery process, he was very determined to heal and get better than before because he didn’t like being away from the pitch for so long. All he wants is to give the new club and the fans the best performance – and getting injured was really upsetting for him, but he didn’t want to let it mess with his head. During his comeback game, he played really well during the first half before getting subbed off – he even did an assist from a corner kick which was perfectly finished by Casemiro with a header goal. Watching how he had gained his confidence back after injury and got to prove that he is a deserving addition to the team – unlike what some people said – made you feel even prouder than you’ve ever been of him.
When he went home after the game, he couldn’t stop telling you how good it felt to go back and win. He was also very happy he was able to make an assist, though he is now aiming for at least one goal for the next game.
“You know, Mase, the fans were very happy with how you played,” you told him with pride, “I’m delighted that you’re back, you were amazing.”
“Thank you, my love, I’ll keep trying to deliver. I’m going to give the best I can. For the fans, and most importantly you.” He smiled.
Little did the fans know, he had an advertisement video with Nike Underwear – which had been prepared from a while ago – and now ready to be posted. After the incredible game he just had the day before, uploading the video felt like perfectly timed to treat his fans. 
You weren’t present on the set when Mason and the Nike team shot the video, but you saw the pictures he had on his phone – for your benefit, he said teasingly. Since the first time he showed you those pictures, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of his phone. You slowly and carefully checked them out one by one, zoomed them in and out because you didn’t want to miss every little detail. 
“Fuck…” you panted.
“Mason… These are… Insanely hot.”
He was sitting next to you and noticed how your pupils were dilated, your breathing became heavy, and how you kept biting your lip – you were basically drooling over his pictures and he was really satisfied by your reaction.
“Uh, baby, you good?” He asked as he grinned cheekily.
“What?” You glanced at him for a second. “Oh, I...”
You couldn’t even finish your sentence. Those pictures just made you speechless – that man drove you crazy. And before you know it, you were feeling all hot and heavy and your pussy was dripping wet.
“Baby, I’m gonna need a minute…” You whimpered. “Now all that I think about is how bad I want to suck your dick and have your cum in my mouth. Thanks a lot, fucker.”
“Well…” he kissed your neck, then whispered in your ear, “I would very much love that.”
You looked at him and tried to make sure he really wanted you to give him a head. He assured you by unbuttoning his pants and pulled them down.
“Whenever you’re ready, Y/N.” 
You kissed him on the lips and immediately kneeled between his legs and started by rubbing his massive bulge to build up the arousal. Mason still had his boxers on, and when you felt his bulge became harder, you gently pulled them down.
The second his boxers came off, his dick was already fully erect and you couldn’t wait to have it inside your mouth. You started by spat on his hard dick and stroked it up and down. As your hand moved all over his dick, he bit his lip and let out a few moans.
“Mmm… Fuck… That feels good…”
You kept stroking and gave his dick tight squeezes a few times too.
“Y/N… Stop teasing, please…” He growled.
“Tell me what you want now, baby.”
“I want my cock… Inside your fucking mouth…” He begged.
You began by licking his dick up and down for a short while, then swirling your tongue on the tip. His breath hitched – the way your tongue felt around the head made his heart pound and he was feeling all flushed. You dipped your tongue into his slit, and he clenched both his fists and thighs. 
“Ohhh… F-f-fuck…” He panted.
With your hand still stroking, you slowly put his dick deep into your mouth. You started moving up and down at a slow pace, and gradually changed your pace. As you engulfed his dick within your sloppy mouth, he gripped your hair and you were making eye contact with him which he loves so much – he always thinks the eye contact made the action a lot sexier and he isn’t wrong.
“Don’t stop, baby…” He bit back a moan.
The faster and deeper you went, the more intense the waves of pleasure he had. When you moaned, he could feel the vibration coming from your throat and it gave a sexy touch.
“Y/N…”  he murmured, “I’m fucking close…”
The moment you heard him you sucked faster than before and his body began to shiver. He squeezed his eyes shut, soaking the pleasure in.
“Yeah, cum in my mouth.”
“I’m about to cu- ohhh…”
Suddenly, time stopped ticking and his vision faded to black. An explosion of pure bliss just hit and left him breathless. At that moment, he filled your mouth with his cum for you to swallow.
He lied on the bed and was breathing heavily, unable to speak even a word.
“Good fuck, Y/N,” he exhaled, “that was amazing.”
You got up and smiled, now about to clean up. “Mmhmm.”
As you cleaned up, you playfully asked him, “Mase, have you eaten a lot of fruits lately?”
He laughed. “Yeah, I think I have. Tasted sweet, didn’t it?”
You licked your lips – which were still covered with his cum – and nodded in agreement. “Love it.”
When the advertisement video was ready, he showed it to you before it got uploaded.
“Woah, you’re going to post this with no warning?” You jokingly asked.
“Yeah, no… Why?” He was confused for a moment.
“Mase, you do know how people are going to react, right? You’re literally wearing nothing but underwear and they can see your bulge? They’re going to go crazy, my love.”
He finally understood why and chuckled.
“Oh baby… I surely don’t mind.” He winked.
“Ugh, please.” You playfully rolled your eyes.
“Hey, don’t worry,” he stood in front of you and gently lifted up your chin, “you are the only one who gets to see and experience the whole show whenever you want to.”
He gave you little kisses starting from your forehead, nose, cheeks then a big one on your lips.
“Just so you know,” he added, “I’m all yours, Y/N.”
You blushed and laughed when you heard him say what he said. 
“Mmm… Lucky me.”
taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @swimmingismywholelife @chilwellspulisic @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @masonsrem @landoslover
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okkalo · 1 year ago
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wrong move
sae x reader
genre: fluff
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sae has no clue why you’re mad at him. sure, he’s an asshole sometimes, he admits, but he didn’t even say anything bad? besides, aren’t you supposed to be happy after eating? why’re you still mad?
he could only glare at your back, which was a sight you gave him whenever you purposely ignored him, while you brushed through your hair. you had been ignoring him ever since you both visited his parents, which had been a couple of hours ago. how long could you go for? he couldn’t help but feel annoyed.
“why’re you upset?” he finally asked, breaking the silence that had been surrounding the both of you for hours.
“nothing—.”
“shut up and tell me the real answer.” he quickly cut off your attempt to avoid the situation. you let out a deep sigh, now turning around to face him while acting like it was a bother.
“why’d you tell your parents that?” you asked, frown on your lips as you watched his deadpan expression turn into a mix of confusion and disgust—an element he liked to add in a lot of his expressions.
“tell them what?” he was now scanning his brain for all the possible things he could’ve said wrong, but none came to mind. his ignorance only made your frown deepen. how could a man who has been remarked as a genius of his sport be so dumb?
“why’d you tell them i was hungry?” you now crossed your arms, the same upset expression on your face that had sae contemplating if you were serious or not. his brows furrowed further, causing a slight scrunch of his nose that you bit back an awe to.
“what?” he had to ask, pondering if he had heard you right.
“sae, i’m serious.” you indirectly answered, showing that you hadn’t been joking with him.
“because you told me you were hungry?” he was biting back every insulting nickname that came to his mind because he knew that would just make you more upset. but, man, he couldn’t help but feel a “dumbass” would perfectly explain his thoughts.
“yeah, and then they went and did all of that just for me!” you spoke as if you had caught the male red-handed in a serious crime. sae was still confused. before he could speak another word, probably one that would just annoy you more, you took the honors from him. “you’re supposed to say that you’re hungry too or something.”
sae didn’t know what to do. if he spoke he wouldn’t be able to hold back his sharp tongue and he couldn’t do any physical moves here, that would just be dumb. so, he stayed silent with his furrowed eyes staring at you. it would’ve been awkward had you not found his expression and silence funny. you couldn’t help but let out a small giggle, your frown lifting only a bit before you silenced yourself.
“so, you’re joking?” he asked after seeing your smile and hearing your giggle.
“no! you made me look bad in front of your parents, sae!” and we’re back to square one.
“so you would��ve rather starved?” he rebuttals.
“you’re missing the point, sae.” he only sighed at your words, getting up from the bed and walking over to your vanity to where you had been seated. he stopped right in front of you, his left hand grasping your jaw to where his fingers indented the skin on your cheeks.
“you’re the stupidest person i’ve ever met,” he claimed before leaning down to plant a kiss on your lips. your annoyance was long gone at that moment, caving under his touch and gaze, despite his words being mean. once he parted away from your now wet lips, he saw you looking up at him with that smile he always deemed “dumb”.
“stupidest isn’t even a word, stupid.” his deadpan immediately turned into a glare, a sight that had your smile widening.
“shut up.”
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unedited thanks for reading!
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christronomy · 1 year ago
Note
Hi!! Its the anon who sent in the chan car ride hard thought with the insta reel, if u remember me. But i have came to give u a new hard thought. First off, HAVE YOU SEEN THE VID OF CHAN DOING THAT LIL FINGER MOVE IN HALL OF FAME?!? i feel dizzy. 😵‍💫 anyways, onto my hard thought, picture this, y/n is scrolling on twt and that tweet that says imagine chan fingering you till you cry (or sum like that i hope you know what tweet im talking abt) and it has the chan vid attached to it, THEN BANGCHAN COMES INTO THE ROOM AND CATCHES Y/N AND FINGERS HEER OMGGGG (also i jus noticed that i used twt and tweet instead of X, sorry lol)
of course i remember you! hi, love! and YES, of course i saw that tweet, and i feel totally not normal about it! i would link them but i can't remember which accounts they're from sigh. also i hate calling it "x" bc cause wtf is that. LMAO
but onto this gem of a thought. honestly, he'd tease you so much if he caught you gushing over those tweets, he'd be so sweet about it though. if you don't mind i wanna add some more to this under the cut cause it just came to mind hehe (it's so long and i didn't proof read. help).
he caught you trying to finger yourself in his dorm room after spending almost hours scrolling through your timeline. you weren't really expecting to see anything interesting, but the only thing that popped up was the clips of him and that finger movement that caught your attention and immediately drove you insane. you couldn't help but keep watching the same clip over and over again in awe. it was just so attractive, especially when he made that certain expression and looked right straight at the camera, almost as if he were looking right at you.
so here you were now, desperately bucking your hips up against your hand, sticking your fingers as far inside your cunt as you could, palming your clit to gain some extra friction. you whined exasperatedly as you failed miserably yet again, not being able to get that stimulation you so desperately wanted.
chan got home a few minutes ago, so he's already been watching you, chuckling to himself softly cause you just look so cute like that—legs spread, face flushed a bright red, fucking your fingers in and out of your sopping hole. you keep going for a few more minutes, until you finally toss your head back to groan in frustration because it's just not enough.
his cock is already twitching, straining in his pants at the sight of you, so he can't help but open the door, and he finds it cute how you immediately close your legs and draw your hand back, the surprise of having been caught in the act showing on your face. he laughs softly and sits next to you on the bed. "what's wrong, love? you upset?" he asks, his tone teasing, yet sweet, and you can tell it's because he knows exactly what you were doing.
you nod and sigh, trying your best to come up with a reasonable explanation as to why you were naked on your boyfriend's bed, alone, when you knew he'd always expected you to wait for him whenever you needed to get off. "i was scrolling through twitter, and i saw these tweets about you... i got curious so i spent a while looking at them, and then..." you trail off with a gasp as he suddenly grabs your phone from where you'd put it next to you on the bed. you try to snatch it back, but he's a lot quicker than you. he scrolls a little bit, his expression serious, and then a smug smile plays at the corner of his lips as he looks at you again.
"aw baby, is this why you were so hot and bothered?" he asks, as he shows you one of the clips he was looking at, the same one from earlier, and your face turns an even darker shade of red as you nod. "that why you were using your cute little fingers, even though you know they're not good enough? you've got me right here. you could've asked me instead of just watching videos of me. i'll do whatever you want as long as i can make you feel good."
you feel like you're melting at the way condescension practically drips off his tongue, and you let him spread your legs for you again, this time using his own fingers to tease your swollen bud. he's such a dream come true. "'m sorry i couldn't wait for you," you start, but he shushes you softly. "that's okay, baby. i'm here now. i can help you," he says, and you want to thank him, but your words are cut short by the almost embarrassingly loud squeal that escapes your throat when he suddenly sticks his pointer and middle fingers in without warning, curling them just right, just like in that clip, finally giving you that pleasure you'd been chasing for hours now.
he watches you intently, from the way your back arches, to the way you clench around his fingers, but his expression stays blank. it doesn't take you that long to cum, and when you do, he doesn't stop. you look at him with furrowed brows, whining from the overstimulation, and he simply chuckles at your expression, not saying anything as he keeps torturing your walls with his fingers mercilessly. he's pushing you close to the edge all over again surprisingly quickly, and once you reach your second orgasm, you're already asking him to slow down, stop for a minute, so you can catch your breath. still, he doesn't. by the time you reach your fourth orgasm, you're already a sobbing stuttering mess as he makes you even more dumb on his fingers, begging him to stop, but that only makes him go much faster, his palm smacking your clit as he does so.
"this how needy you are for me? wanting to get yourself off without me cause of some video? you poor thing, thinking your fingers alone would satisfy you. you know you can't do it without me. guess i just have to remind you, hmm?"
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dannyphantom-zero · 10 months ago
Text
Doctor Danny Chapter 5 Stay-cation
Jason glanced at the couch as he made breakfast. Huddled inside a blanking was Danny with nothing but his pouting face exposed.
Jason shook his head. The doctor would run himself ragged at this point. Getting all upset because he couldn't go to work.
Danny was gradually getting hungrier by the second. Jason walked over with two plates with eggs and bacon on them.
"Made some breakfast" Jason said circling the plate near Danny's face. The smell was making Danny pissed off. He wanted to eat it but he didn't like the way Jason was so smug about it.
Eventually Danny broke down and had to open up his blanket to receive the plate.
"How is it?"
Danny scowled at Jason, "it's good" he muttered before shoving more food in his mouth and chewing angrily.
Jason couldn't believe how cute this doctor could be.
"Try some of this" Jason said handing Danny a glass.
Danny looked at Jason hesitantly. Danny brought the cup up to his lips and took a big sip.
A sweet liquid filled Danny's mouth, it left a tart aftertaste.
"What is this?" He asked looking at Jason with stars on his eyes.
"It's wine that I made when I visited a brewery a while ago" Jason picked up a napkin and gently wiped Danny's mouth.
Danny was too embarrassed to think.
"D-do you want some ectoplasm?!" He blurted out before thinking.
"If you want to, yes"
Jason was acting strange, why was he being shy and complacent all odt he sudden??
Danny crawled across the couch to Jason. He put his hands on Jason's shoulder to steady himself and bit Jason's neck.
A calm feeling washed over Jason as he closed his eyes. He felt disconnected and tingly. Danny was the opposite. Whenever he did this he felt like he was drinking pure energy.
"Mm" Jason's eyebrows furrowed. Danny let go.
"Better?"
Jason opened his eyes.
"Yeah, thanks"
Jason and Danny watched a few movies. Danny was talking about a character when his phone interrupted him.
Danny glanced at it casually. His eyes grew big.
"SAM!" Danny squeaked as he answered.
"Hey Danny, my band is performing tonight at the mike bar, you know the one right?"
"The usual one right?"
"Yeah, anyway we lost the lead singer so to a sore throat and we desperately need a replacement. I know how good you can sing and you play guitar so, please help me!"
Danny peered at Jason.
"Sure, I'll be right there" Danny hung up.
"Where are you going?"
"A bar nearby, I have to help out a friend"
Jason stood up and grabbed an extra jacket for Danny.
"Jason? Your coming too"
"Your still on the run remember"
Danny smacked Jason's shoulder.
"Don't say it like that! You make it sound like I'm running from the law!" Danny chastised.
Jason shrugged, "Batman isn't easy to shake off"
Danny crossed his arms.
"I already knew that, but I don't think he'll randomly bother me. He's gotta have a life too right?"
Danny got a bad feeling about the face Jason was making.
"You'd be surprised" Jason groaned.
They made it to the bar without running into to any issues. Danny stepped in and started looking around. This bar has a rustic vibe to it before but now it looked like a goth den.
Maybe it was because Sam's band was performing today but there seems to be a lot more goths than usual.
"Danny!" Sam exclaimed hugging him.
"Hey Sam, how have you been, it's been so long"
Sam grinned confidently and pointed her thumb towards her band mates who were setting up.
"My bands been doing pretty well"
Sam punched Danny's arm, "but hey can't believe my little delinquent is a famous doctor now"
Danny waved his hands.
"Sam! Don't talk about that on public!"
Jason put a hand on Danny's shoulder.
"Oh, who are you?" Sam asked.
"He's a friend of mine" Jason growled.
"R-right, Jason and I became friends recently."
Sam grabbed Danny's arm, "well sorry Jared but I'm going have to steal Danny for a bit"
Sam gave Jason a cold look, "not that it's really stealing since he isn't yours"
Danny send an apologetic look at Jason before being dragged off. Sam took Danny to the male bathroom.
"Here, change" she ordered thrusting clothes at him.
Danny didn't have time to object.
His eyes bugged out when he put on the clothes.
"What kind of clothes are these?!" He exclaimed.
He was wearing a black button shirt that was open in the back with an x strap, it also had three spikes jutting out on each shoulder. His pants were black jeans with rips and chains hanging along the side.
His shoes had been swapped for boots and on his hands he wore fingerless, fake leather gloves.
"You look almost perfect!" Sam said once Danny stepped out feeling dazed.
"Sit and stay still"
Danny sat on the stool and let Sam apply mascara to his eyes. It deepened his eyes, making him look like a real goth. A hot one at that.
"Your stage name should be...."
"How about Runner?" Danny suggested.
"Huh,Runner? Sure I guess it works"
Danny helped set up his mike. Sam let him use the spare electric guitar they had.
"Alright, you guys ready?" Sam asked, the band mates shouted in unison.
Jason waited impatiently for the Danny to make an appearance.
The band started up and Danny stood up to the mike.
"3,2,1-"
The band started playing, Jason watched Danny sing and play. He seemed so different from the doctor Jason knew.
The crowd was cheering as the band played. It had a pop rock vibe to it, the songs were catchy and Jason had to admit he liked the band.
Danny smiled and waved after the band finished their last song.
"Let me help you pack up" Danny said as he stuffed the equipment in Sam's bus.
"Thank you so much Danny! Who knew you still had in you!" Sam said laughing.
"Danny"
He turned to see Jason standing a few paces away.
"Hey Jason"
"You were really good up there"
Danny grinned.
"Really?"
"When you sang o felt my heart racing"
Danny laughed, "your funny Jason, but really it was all Sam. Her band is really great"
Sam playfully ruffled Danny hair.
"Yeah that's right, I'm awesome I know" Sam boasted.
"We should probably head back" Jason said.
"Head back, did you come from the same place?"
Danny seemed flustered.
"Yeah, Danny spent the night with me"
Danny was quick to clarify that he apartment had been broken into and Jason let him spend the night.
Though he could tell by Sam's face that she was thinking they were romantically involved.
When Danny got back he plopped onto the couch.
"You hungry?" Jason asked.
"A little" Danny said yawning.
'cute' Jason thought.
They ate and Danny passed out soon after.
The next morning Jason woke up to a note from Danny saying he had gone to work.
Jason had troed texting Danny alter that night but had gotten no response.
This went on for a couple days and later when Dick met up with Jason he could tell something was wrong.
"Hey, you look way too depressed, even for you"
Jason just drank.
"Come on, let it out"
Jason clenched his fist.
"I think I made someone mad"
Dick raised an eyebrow. Jason made people mad every day, there had to be more to this.
"This person started avoiding me, isn't answering my calls or texts and hasn't come back to my apartment-" Jason said too much.
"Ooh, romance problems huh?"
Jason groaned, "I wish, we aren't even dating. I've never been more frustrated"
"Maybe this person is just really busy, did you seem to be on good terms?"
"Yeah, I mean, he's a doctor so I guess he could just be busy but..."
Dick eyes lit up, a doctor? And a male one at that. Could it be-
"Do you have a crush on the famous doctor Fenton?"
Jason blushed furiously.
"It's not a crush!"
So he did.
"Why don't you visit him in person if your so worried?"
Jason sighed, "I don't want to bother him, besides I don't think he likes me back"
"There's only one way to find out you know"
And that's why Jason was currently waiting outside of Gotham General. He wasn't sure how long he had waited but a tap on his shoulder jolted him out of his thoughts.
"Jason, why are you here?"
He shrugged and turned his head away so Danny couldn't see him blushing.
"You weren't answering my calls or texts so I came to see you myself"
"Ah" that's right, Jason was a stalker. How could Danny forget.
"Right well I should probably get going" Danny said as he opened his car door.
Jason shut it and didn't take his hand off the door.
"Jason?"
"Why are you avoiding me?"
"I'm not avoiding you, I'm just tired and I want to go home" Danny said turing away.
"I'll take you" Jason said.
In one deft movement Jason had picked up the lanky doctor and put him in the passenger side.
"What?" Danny said confused.
"You said your tired, so I'll drive"
Danny looked at Jason's face, he seemed anxious.
"H-hey, this isn't the way to my apartment." Danny said.
"Your apartment isn't safe, I'll take you to mine"
"What? Why? It's not your business if my apartments not safe"
"Your my friend Danny, I don't want you to get hurt"
"This isn't the way a friend acts!" Danny said. Jason had stopped at a red light giving Danny the perfect window to escape.
He unbuckled and slipped from the car. He started running. Jason had been acting weird, too weird. If I kept up Danny wasn't sure what he might do and he was afraid to push Jason away.
They were just friends! He really didn't want to make Jason uncomfortable but now everything was ruined.
Jason clenched his teeth. He found a secure place and parked Danny's car.
He made Danny run away! He was stupid!
Jason did his best tracking down Danny. Finally he spotted someone walking alone.
"Danny!" The person turned their head and it almost looked like they were crying.
Suddenly he started running again.
Jason caught up to him and grabbed him from behind holding him in a tight hug.
"Why are you running from me?" Jason asked in hurt pleading tone.
"Because-" Danny suddenly cut off, "batman" he said weakly.
"Batman?" Then Jason saw him.
"Crap, come on" Jason said tugging Danny with him as they ran, wearing in between stores.
They ended up on the roof of a quick-mart.
"Did we lose him?" Danny asked panting.
"Yeah I think-"
"No"
Jason fired his grappling hook, at the same time Danny almost tripped. Before they knew it, they were trapped, tangled up together and hanging off the side of the building.
"Shit" Jason said softly.
Bruce pulled them up and Jason untangled himself from Danny.
"Can't you just let the poor man go?" Jason asked.
Danny sighed and stepped up.
"It's alright Jason, I'll take responsibility for my actions."
Danny held out his hands to be cuffed.
"I'm not taking you to jail" Batman said.
Danny dropped his arms, "huh? Your not?"
"Your not?" Jason asked.
"No. However Jason and I seem to need have a talk."
"Then why were tracking Danny down"
"Your always together"
Jason was taken aback at Bruce's abruptness.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"Come to the manor, well discuss there"
Jason cursed after the bat had left.
"What a dick seriously, how dare he do that to you!"
"It's really fine Jason, come on. Let's go, he's probably waiting for you"
Jason shrugged.
"Just don't jump out the car this time"
Danny promised not too and they drove up to the manor. When they got there, Danny noticed a butler waiting at the entrance.
"Welcome master Jason and his friend"
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maximoffcarter · 7 months ago
Text
Cold.
Pairings: Casey Novak x reader.
Summary: Based on 9x19: Cold. The squad is involved in a mess made by Lake without any guidance of what really happened. Casey Novak had made sure to tell all of them that they would do it by the book; reader was willing to do anything as long as it was the right thing to do, but once she finds out her girlfriend is getting too carried away, she has to stop her.
A/n: This was requested by an anon, and lemme be honest with you here...I have rewatched SVU so many times, from season 2 to probably season 19 (mostly because I love rewatching from 2 to 9), but the truth is that I have seen this episode probably 2 times in my life, 3 if we count this time. The way I feel so frustrated that they decided to 'end' Casey's character this way, was so frustrating for me, I actually sobbed knowing Casey wouldn't be back the first time that I watched it. Of course, after that, Casey's farewell was not any better, and I'll forever be mad. So I thank the anon who asked for this request for giving me the chance to rewrite this and pretend as if Casey never actually left. There is some angst, some things I changed, but I do hope you guys enjoy this. Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻
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*not my gif*
For the last five years that Casey Novak had been working in Sex Crimes, she learned that life was definitely not fair, and justice was not what they painted in Law School. She had tried her best to surpass the guilt whenever she lost a case, to move on and go on with the next case, she saw how the squad easily did it. Of course she knew it wasn’t easy, she knew that it also hurt them, and they probably carried it with them for a long time, maybe for their whole life. She had talked about many cases with them, some that they remembered from years ago, some that were never forgotten. She also learned that working with SVU, definitely changed her way of thinking; when she started working with them, she wanted to do everything by the book, because she had heard that sometimes the squad made things they were not supposed to do just to favor them, which of course part of her understood why they did what they did, but she needed to go by the book or the DA’s office would go for her head. She slowly grew up with them, which also meant that her work ethic changed entirely once she learned that sometimes, they didn’t have to go by the book; do it legally, but not exactly in order.
Casey learned that the squad always had each other’s back, and slowly, they started having hers, which made her believe that they had accepted her as part of their family. They had their ups and downs, Casey got on their nerves just as much as they got in hers, she learned to treat them, she learned to go at their same pace, she learned to be part of their squad, and truth to be told, she did not regret anything. Branch and Donnelly had warned her about how the squad worked, and that she had to look out for herself and not exactly them, but Cragen’s words always stuck with her; it was only them, they only had themselves, no one else, and she learned to embrace that. She learned so many things from them, things she’d always cherish, things that would always stay with her, things that still upset her but, they were her family, and she’d do anything for them.
Meeting y/n had been the best part of joining SVU, she was also a new recruit and both of them basically grew together in the job, bringing them together; what started as a friendship, became more as the time passed, and even if it was unexpected, they were more than happy to embrace it. They both learned from each other, and even if y/n was more on Casey’s side than the squads, sometimes y/n had her moments where she really needed to be on the squads side, just because she knew they tried their best. They supported their rights and wrongs, y/n joked that she’d always accept any wrong that Casey did, and she’d be by her side no matter what, and Casey believed the same, she had joked that she’d get y/n out of any possible problem, even if it meant getting herself in trouble; and y/n knew she meant that. Doing it for another person? Y/n would always protect her squad, always. Casey? She would, she loved them. But get as far as losing her job for them? Y/n didn’t think so. Right?
“Casey clearly said we cannot question him, Elliot. Are you really gonna go to the hospital and do exactly what she said we could not do?” Y/n asked as she followed Elliot and Olivia to their car.
“We need to know what we’re dealing with, y/l/n. We’re basically blind here, how are we supposed to help him if he’s not letting us?” Elliot turned to look at y/n as he opened the door of the car.
Y/n shrugged. “Elliot…” she sighed. “I know this is not looking good, we have no idea what really happened here. But we cannot just go and do what we’re not supposed to do. We need to stick to what Cragen and Casey said.”
“We’re just gonna check on him, y/n. Nothing more.” Olivia shrugged as she looked at y/n.
Y/n scoffed. “You don’t even believe that yourself, Liv.”
“If you wanna go by your girlfriend’s rules, we won’t blame you. But don’t try to stop us from doing our jobs.” Elliot said before he got in the car, followed by Olivia.
Y/n sighed as she watched them go. “You know them, and honestly, I don’t blame them.” Melinda said as she stood beside y/n.
Y/n turned her head to look at her. “I don’t like this at all. I know he has a reason for why he did this, but this is not looking any good. Right?”
Melinda sighed as she shook her head. “No, not at all.”
********************
“I take it that you knew Elliot and Olivia were going to the hospital to see Lake.” Casey looked up as y/n walked in her office, closing the door behind her.
Y/n sighed. “I promise that I tried to stop them. They’re stubborn.”
“Just like someone I know.” Casey grinned.
Y/n chuckled softly as she sat on a chair, sighing. “What are we gonna do, Case? Melinda ruled it a homicide.”
Casey shrugged. “Get as much evidence as we possibly can and hope for the best.” She looked at y/n with a serious look on her face. “We need to do this by the book, y/n. We cannot risk anything here.”
Y/n nodded. “I know.” She sighed as she stood up and walked to Casey, pushing her chair, and sitting on her lap, wrapping her arms around her neck. “Everything will be okay, and whatever you need, I’ll be here.”
Casey smiled as she wrapped her arms around y/n’s waist. “I know you will. You’re the only one who listens to me.”
“And they hate me for that.” Y/n chuckled softly.
“You’re just being a good girl.” Casey grinned as she leaned in to kiss her lips softly.
“I am.” Y/n said against her lips, kissing her again but the kiss was interrupted by her cellphone, groaning softly as she pulled it out. “Y/l/n.” She frowned and pulled away from Casey. “I’m on my way.” She hung up the call and looked at Casey. “He’s not at the hospital.”
Casey sighed. “Damnit, Lake.”
“I gotta go, I’ll call you if anything comes up.” Y/n kissed her lips one more time before standing up.
“Please do and be safe!” Casey sighed as she saw her girlfriend go. This was definitely going the wrong path.
********************
“I know what you want me to say, but the science doesn’t support it.” Melinda said as she stared back at Casey.
Casey stared back at Melinda, taking a deep breath. “When the defence gets these lab reports, they might have enough for reasonable doubt.” She stopped for a moment as she stared at Melinda. “Can you live with that?”
Melinda shook her head. “If I have to. Because I sure as hell won’t risk my reputation for a verdict we didn’t earn.”
Casey stared at Melinda for longer than she wanted to, she could tell the stare she was giving her as Melinda took a step back and her face relaxed; Casey was definitely upset, and she didn’t mean to be upset at what she was saying, but none of this was gonna help them win the case. She only thanked Melinda and left the office, walking as fast as she could to get out of the building and get some fresh air. She was frustrated that this was happening, the last thing she had expected was to have to deal with something like this with one of the detectives. She knew they could do dumb stuff, she had to get them out of trouble before, but something like this? Never in a million years did she expect that something like this would happen and that she’d have to solve it. Not only that, but actually thinking about risking her career for it. She decided to go back home as she thought going back to the office was no use, she’d only be frustrated to be there and she didn’t need any interruptions from the squad, so she took all the files home. She was making some notes when she heard the door closing.
“Hi baby.” Casey said softly as y/n walked to the living room, looking up to offer a smile but the look on her girlfriend’s face told her that something had happened. “What’s wrong?” Her smile fainted then, scared that something else had happened.
“Tell me why Melinda called me and told me to make sure you were not about to do something stupid.” Y/n crossed her arms as she stared at Casey, standing right in front of her.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Casey simply said.
“Don’t lie to me, Casey. I thought you said we had to do this by the book. You were the first one to say that we could not question Lake, and to have you updated on everything. And now Melinda tells me that you want to risk your job?” Y/n shook her head. “Please tell me she’s just tired and she read the room wrong.”
Casey sighed as she put aside her notepad, looking up at y/n. “If the defense gets this, they’ll have enough proof to let him walk free, and then we’re screwed. We won’t even have a chance to save Lake from this.”
“Casey, I hate to say it and be harsh about it, but he got himself into this fucking mess, he didn’t want our help until he saw he was really drowning. You need to do what you can, and that’s it.”
“If I can do more, trust me, I will, y/n. There’s still a chance.”
“A chance?! And what do you have to do to get this chance, Casey? Hide the evidence? Stop Melinda from testifying?”
“She’ll say what she told me and describe it as best as she can.”
Y/n stared at Casey and shook her head. “Please tell me the evidence was sent.” She stared at Casey with concern on her face. Casey looked down at her hands and sighed. “Fuck Casey…” y/n ran her hands through her hair, starting to pace around the room. “You said we’d go by the book!”
“If we let them have it, we won’t win this case!” Casey stood up from the couch then, feeling frustration wash over her body.
Y/n turned to look back at Casey. “And you think they won’t find out?! It’s Donna for fuck sakes, Casey! It’s fucking Petrovsky! You want to get in trouble?!”
“I’ll say the reports are not complete yet! I’ll send them, just not yet, not by tomorrow.”
Y/n scoffed. “What the hell is wrong with you, Casey?! You could lose your job for this!”
“Wouldn’t you do the same?! He’s part of your squad! Other times, I see you guys doing the impossible to be able to get the minimum of evidence, and now you guys are stopping yourselves and doing nothing!”
“Because you told us not to! For once, we’re listening, Casey! And you’re the one screwing around! If you do this, you’re risking your license, and you know it!” Y/n shook her head. “And don’t give me that crap that if this isn’t justice, you don’t wanna do this anymore, because we both know you wouldn’t want to lose your career over something like this.”
“I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. He needs to go to jail.” Casey walked to y/n, trying to stop her from pacing around the living room.
Y/n scoffed, standing right in front of her. “Are you doing this for justice or for Lake?” She raised her brows.
Casey frowned and shook her head. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“You’re gonna tell me that Lake didn’t want to go on a date with you before he found out you and I were dating. Oh, because I remind you that you didn’t say shit about it, and you just played along. Yeah, Fin told me about it.”
Casey scoffed. “Are you doing this because you’re jealous of him? Nothing happened and that was nothing, and you know that! This is not about him.”
“You said it, we’re not doing anything for him. You’re so worried for him, you’re willing to cover up for him and risk your job.”
“I’d do the same and more for you.”
“It’s not me who fucked up.” Y/n snapped, her eyes never leaving Casey’s. “I’m right here, doing exactly what you asked me to do. And I expect you to do the same, Casey.”
“Or what?” Casey snapped.
Y/n shook her head. “I seriously cannot believe you. You’re truly unbelievable. I am not gonna let you do this.” She walked out of the living room, not wanting to look at Casey anymore.
“Where are you going?!” Casey followed her, trying to ignore the range she felt.
“Ask Lake, since you’re teaming up with him now.” Y/n snapped before she walked out of the apartment and slammed the door closed.
Y/n would be lying if she said she didn’t feel a little jealous at the thought of Casey worrying too much about this case. She knew that Casey was mainly doing this to put that bastard behind bars, she was right, he deserved to go to jail, and he was the only person she could prosecute. If they didn’t win this, Lake would be in more trouble. And it’s not that she didn’t care about him, she did, but he had decided to drown himself until it was too late to ask for help. There was still a slight chance, but even then, there was nothing else they could do to help him. Y/n was angry that Casey was putting someone else before herself, she didn’t care it wasn’t for her, she knew Casey meant it when she said she’d do this and more for y/n, because y/n would do the same for Casey. But the thought of knowing that Casey was going to risk her career over this, made her angry and helpless. She didn’t know where she was going, it was still early, she could either go to the precinct to try to find anything else to help the case, or she could simply walk around to calm her anger. But before she could figure out where she was heading, she was walking inside a building and into the elevator. She kept fidgeting with the promise ring that Casey had given her, trying to control both her anxiety and her anger. As the doors opened, she walked through the hallway and for a moment stood by the door before knocking.
“Come on in.”
Y/n opened the door and took a deep breath. “Donnelly.”
Elizabeth looked at y/n and huffed a laugh. “C’mon, y/n. Drop the mannerisms. Anything I can help you with?”
Y/n sighed as she closed the door and smiled shyly. “I sure hope you can.”
Elizabeth stared at her for a moment before she took her glasses off, putting them on her desk and looking back at her. “What happened? Are you alright?”
“I am. This is about Casey.” Y/n said as she sat down.
“Is she okay? What happened?”
“She’s okay, for now. But I need you to take Casey off the Crane case.”
Elizabeth frowned. “Why would you want me to kick your girlfriend off this case? She’s your ADA. I don’t want to hear if you both had a fight over something stu-“
“She’s thinking about doing something stupid, Liz. And if I’m here, it’s not for you to tell on her, but to help me avoid it before it’s too late.” Y/n stared at her with a serious look.
“I need more than that, y/n.” Elizabeth raised her brow.
“She wants to hold the file that provides the evidence of the case, which is sort of more help to the defense than to us.” Y/n sighed as she shook her head. “I know she’ll hate me for telling you this, I…I might even lose her for this.” She huffed a chuckle. “But Liz…you need to take her off the case. I don’t want her losing her license and I know you don’t want this for her either. You can scold her, suspend her, whatever but please…don’t let her ruin her career. We both know this is not Casey.”
Elizabeth sighed as she shook her head. “Y/n…if she’s willing to do this-“
“She doesn’t know what she’s doing. I know me telling you this has the same risk if she does it anyway. But I want you to consider that I came here so you can stop it before this actually goes further. Please, Elizabeth. I know you don’t want Casey to ruin her career too. Please.” Y/n whispered softly as she felt tears in her eyes.
Elizabeth nodded as she sighed. “I’ll call Melinda and tell her to send me a copy, I’ll send the file myself and assign someone else to the case. I’ll call Casey to come to the office.”
Y/n tilted her head. “Will you report her?”
Elizabeth stared at her for a moment. She shook her head as she sighed. “No. But she will be punished for this. You too know that what she’s doing is not right.”
“And that’s why I came to you for help.”
“I know. I do wish you luck, though.” Elizabeth offered a faint smile.
Y/n sighed. “I think she already hates me. This will only be a bonus.”
Y/n talked to Elizabeth for a while until she decided she’d go back to the precinct to clear her mind for a bit, trying to talk to the rest of the squad, updating herself on where they were with the case. Two hours or so passed before Cragen broke the news that they had a new ADA for the case, and that whatever happened, they now had to inform her instead of Casey. Of course everyone stared at y/n, confused as to what was happening but y/n had no words, she had nothing to say about it, even if she wanted to tell them that it was her fault, that all of this would go to hell because of her, she just didn’t want them to find out yet, she had enough with arguing with Casey, and the last thing she needed was the squad yelling at her.
Eventually, she decided to go home, knowing that as much as she tried to keep herself busy, she couldn’t avoid Casey forever. She took her time to walk back home, missing one subway and then taking her time to walk back home. She took a deep breath once she was right in front of her door, getting her keys and opening the door slowly, noticing that most of the lights were off. She made sure to lock the door, and slowly walked through the apartment, until she noticed that the light for their bedroom was on, perfectly knowing that Casey was there. She took a deep breath before she walked inside the bedroom, finding Casey sitting at the edge of their bed, her arms crossed and her eyes staring at the floor. Y/n thought for a moment to go to the bathroom and give Casey a bit more time, but she was worried and scared of what had happened in Elizabeth’s office, so she decided to accept whatever was coming.
“Casey.” Y/n whispered softly.
“You went to Donnelly.” Casey simply said, her eyes still staring at the floor.
Y/n sighed softly. “I had to, Casey.”
“You didn’t have to do anything. I told you I’d deal with this.” Casey’s voice was low, she was not yelling, she was not going off on y/n -yet-, but y/n could definitely tell that she was filled with anger.
“I was not going to let you lose your job.”
“Even if it meant going to my boss and telling her what I was doing, knowing perfectly that the result could be the same.” Casey finally looked up at her, her eyes puffy and red.
Y/n’s heart sank as she stared at Casey. “Casey…I-I asked Elizabeth to not let you do this, so you didn’t lose your license. I didn’t-“
“She just suspended me. A month without payment.” Casey sighed. “And I’m off the case.”
Y/n almost sighed loudly in relief but knew that it could piss Casey even more. “I’m sorry, I-“
“No, you’re not.” Casey shook her head as she stood up, walking to y/n. “You’re not sorry. You decided to go to her to tell her what I was doing, and you thought you were doing this for me, but you were not. You didn’t want to deal with whatever happened next.”
“Casey, that’s not-“
“You were jealous that Lake was interested in me, that he tried everything to talk to me before he knew we were dating. You were not even thinking about putting that asshole behind bars, and now, he’s definitely not going to, he’ll walk free. And you know what, this won’t be on you, it’ll be on me.” Casey tried to hold back her tears as she stared at y/n the whole time, feeling both anger and frustration taking over her. “One way or another, there was the chance of me losing my license. If Elizabeth would’ve wanted to, I would’ve been called before the bar. Am I supposed to thank you?” She squinted her eyes.
“I did this for you, Casey. Even if it meant you hating me, I did this, so you didn’t lose your license and your job, because I know how much you love this job.”
“You’re right. I do love it more than I love you. I’d do anything for this job.” Casey snapped before she walked out of the room.
Y/n felt her body starting to shake as Casey’s words played over and over again in her mind. She knew Casey would be mad at her, but saying this to her? And the painful thing was that she actually believed that Casey meant it. Y/n sobbed as she sat on the edge of the bed, trying to hold back her tears but it was too late for that. Was Casey gonna leave her after this? What if Casey was right and she did this because she was clouded with jealousy? But no. All she wanted to do was prevent Casey from getting into a bigger problem. She wanted Casey to keep her job and her license, she knew it would be way worse if this was used again Casey in court, not only would Donna bring it up to the jury, but Petrovsky would make things worse, and then Elizabeth would’ve done something more than just suspending her. She did it for Casey. She was only looking out for her, and now Casey was mad. And y/n didn’t know if there would be a chance to fix this.
********************
Y/n had decided to stay at the precinct with the rest of the squad waiting to hear from the ADA how the trial was going. Y/n knew anyway what was going to happen already, and she felt guilty, not letting her squad know what had happened with Casey, what she had done, they were definitely going to blame her. And they had every right, Casey had a right to be mad too. She had not gone back to their apartment at night, getting a call from Elliot saying that Casey had stayed with him, and that they could talk back in the precinct, but she really didn’t want to talk about it. To anyone. Cragen finally came back with the news that the jury was back, and the bastard had walked free, there was nothing they could do, the ADA would try to do it again, but y/n knew that even if they did, there was not much of a chance for them to win. Everything was definitely going wrong, and this had been her fault. And she couldn’t even go to Casey because she was not talking to her, so she had to keep it all to herself. She decided to go lay down for a bit, tears rolling down her tears as soon as her head hit the pillow, quietly sobbing. She didn’t notice the door had opened and Olivia had walked in, she had noticed y/n’s attitude since they arrived early in the morning. She walked slowly to y/n and sat on the edge of the bed, her hand going to y/n’s back.
“Y/n…” Olivia whispered softly.
“I want to be alone.” Y/n cried out, drying her tears.
“Please. Talk to me.” Olivia said softly.
Y/n sat down on the bed, bringing her knees to her chest, and wrapping her arms, wanting to bury her face on them but looked up at Olivia. “I fucked up, Liv.”
Olivia tilted her head. “What do you mean?”
“They took Casey off the case because of me.” Y/n sobbed. “I went to Donnelly. Casey was going to keep the file, she was not going to let the defense have it. And I couldn’t let her do that.” She shook her head as she cried. “I couldn’t let her lose her job and her license. I know Donna and Petrovsky. She’s suspended for a month.”
Olivia sighed. “And she’s mad at you.”
“She said she loved the job more than she loved m-me.” Y/n sobbed as she let her head fall to her knees.
Olivia moved to sit beside y/n and wrapped her arms around y/n. “Y/n, sweetheart, you know that’s not true. I know she didn’t mean that.”
“After all these years…I never expected Casey to get mad at me. We both said we would do anything for each other, and now she’s mad at me for this. I only tried to protect her. I knew that her losing the job would hurt too much. I couldn’t bear the thought of her blaming herself for this.” Y/n huffed a chuckle. “And we lost the case. It was my fault.”
“There was no other way of doing this, y/n. And Casey knows it. She was blinded because she didn’t know what to do.” Olivia shrugged. “She also prevented us from doing something stupid. Because she knew we would try anything.”
“She thought I was jealous of Lake. And…she wasn’t entirely wrong. But I didn’t do any of this for him. I did this for her.” Y/n whispered softly as she looked at Olivia. “I’m gonna lose her, Liv.”
Olivia shook her head. “She knows this, y/n. She’s angry. She couldn’t do more, and we both know that’s hard for her. She would’ve done this and so much more for you, and we all know it.”
“I don’t think I’d have let her do this for me.”
Olivia smiled as she tilted her head. “We both know nothing would’ve stopped Casey.”
Y/n chuckled as she nodded. “Yeah.” She sniffled. “But now, I don’t think she wants to see me.”
“It’ll pass. Give it time.” Olivia smiled.
Elliot opened the door and stopped on his tracks for a moment, gaining the attention of both women. “Sorry, but uh…something happened.”
Y/n looked at Olivia for a moment and sighed heavily as they both stood up, following Elliot. Y/n wiped away her tears and tried to push back the pain she felt, she had shown weakness to Olivia, but she couldn’t show it to the others. Elliot didn’t say a word during the whole ride, but y/n knew something bad had happened with the way he was desperate to get to the place. And once there, she noticed the place full of cops and ambulances, feeling her heart sinking as they exited the car and walked to the scene, finding Crane’s body on the floor. She looked to her side and found cops cuffing Lake, he was avoiding their stares, a mix of anger and pride in his face. Y/n then looked to her other side to find Casey standing beside Fin, her heart sinking once again at the look on her face. They all watched how Lake was taken to the police car and that’s when he stared at them. Y/n understood why he did it, but she still wished he would’ve gone to them for help. They all stood there for a moment, not sure what they were supposed to do or if they were supposed to do anything at all. Y/n’s eyes landed on Casey again, noticing how Elliot was now dragging Casey out of the scene and telling her something, and for a slight moment, their eyes met, and y/n wanted nothing more than to run to her and hold her, but she knew she couldn’t. She turned back to look at Olivia, both staring at each other for  moment and then staring back at the scene.
********************
Y/n sighed as she closed the door behind her and dropped her keys on the small table beside the door, turning to lock the door and rested her head against it for a moment. She took a deep breath and made her way to her bedroom, debating if she was going to take a shower or she was just going to drop in bed and try to sleep. But as she looked up at the bedroom, she noticed the lights were on, frowning slightly as she walked inside, just to feel like she had deja vu as she saw Casey sitting at the edge of their bed. For a moment her eyes inspected the room, her heart beating fast as her eyes tried to find a suitcase and bags, but the room looked the same as she left it in the morning. Her eyes then went back to Casey’s who was already looking at her, she could see that her eyes were red and puffy just like the last time they had been in the same situation.
“Hi.” Casey whispered softly.
“Hey.” Y/n whispered back, not sure if she was supposed to walk to the bed or just stand where she was. “I uh…I didn’t expect you to be here.”
Casey nodded. “I know.” She nibbled on her lip as she looked down at her hands. “But I needed to talk to you.”
Y/n nodded softly. “Should I start or…”
“I’m sorry.” Casey sobbed, looking up at y/n, her eyes teary once again. “I…I didn’t mean to go off on you like that. I know why you did this, I know that you were only trying to protect me. And I was so mean to you.” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t have said a thing.”
“Casey…”
“I don’t know what I was thinking. I know what I was doing was wrong and I was still willing to do it. I had stressful cases, and I just didn’t want another bastard to walk free. But none of this was your fault and I took it out on you, when you just…you were trying to help, and I-“ Casey shook her head.
“I went behind your back, Casey.” Y/n said softly, feeling her own tears form in her eyes. “I should’ve stayed so we could’ve talked about it, and I could’ve helped you. But I was so blinded by anger, I didn’t know what else to do, and my best option was to go to Donnelly.” She shook her head as she took a shaky breath. “We could’ve gone together. I could’ve talked you through it, but I left.”
“You did what you thought was right. You saved me from getting censured and probably losing my license.”
“And I got you suspended for a month without pay. Donnelly must have gone off on you, and I just left you go through it alone.” Y/n sobbed as she looked down at her hands. “And I understand if you want this to end.”
Casey frowned. “What?”
“You said it. You…you love the job more than me. I went behind your back, I could’ve given you the same ending for going to Donnelly and I-“ she sobbed. “Casey, I’m sorry.” She brought her hands to her face as she sobbed.
Casey stood up and went to y/n, wrapping her arms around y/n, pulling her to the bed so they could sit down. Y/n wrapped her arms around Casey’s middle and buried her face on her neck, while Casey placed one of her hands on y/n’s head and kissed her head softly. “Baby, I am not leaving you. What I said…I didn’t mean it. I didn’t think about it. I was angry, I was stressed. And that’s not an excuse, but I truly didn’t mean it.”
“How could you not? I tried to help you and I could’ve done things worse anyway.” Y/n cried out.
Casey moved back enough to look down at y/n, placing her hand on y/n’s cheek to make her look up at her. “Y/n…the talk I had with Elizabeth would’ve been ten time worse if you wouldn’t have gone to her. Yes, she was upset at me…but I’m only suspended for a month. I could’ve been censured. And I didn’t because you stopped me from doing a big mistake.”
Y/n took a deep shaky breath as she looked at Casey. “You mean it?”           
“I do, my love. I shouldn’t have said that. Any of that. You were willing to help me and do everything to be here for me, and I pushed you away.” Casey smiled sadly. “I would’ve made a big mistake. But my biggest mistake was to push you away. I cannot lose you, y/n.” More tears rolled down her cheeks as she rested her forehead against y/n’s.
“I cannot lose you either, Casey. I can’t.” Y/n’s hand went to Casey’s cheek and smiled sadly. “We both let our anger take the best of us.” She huffed a chuckle.
“We did.” Casey grinned. “Let’s not let this happen again.”
Y/n nodded. “Ever.”
“Plus, we’re not allowed to breakup, remember?” Casey smirked. “You’re pretty much stuck with me. And now you’re stuck with me for a whole month.”
Y/n grinned as she chuckled. “I’ll ask for a month off so I deal with you.” She smirked. “If we’re mad…we take our time, but we don’t go to sleep mad. We talk about it.”
Casey nodded as she smiled. “Sounds like a deal to me. And you know I don’t normally take deals.”
“I’m the exception.” Y/n smiled.
“You are.” Casey smiled as she leaned down and kissed her lips softly, finally feeling some sort of relief as she had her lover back in her arms.
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