#I made the blog just for you lil guy in shades | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

subskz · 2 years ago

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sun - l.f

note: this is a reupload from my old blog

content: sub felix, dom reader, virgin felix, friends to lovers, nipple play, grinding, praise, soft smut, reader’s sex is unspecified

word count: 4.8k

The sound of rain pattering against your window caught your attention, and you craned your neck to peer through the glass. The sky had turned a deep shade of gray without you even realizing it, a strong wind blowing through the trees outside that promised a heavy shower.

Deciding to check the forecast, you unlocked your phone and opened up the weather app, frowning when you saw that it was set to storm for at least another hour. As if to confirm the prediction, a sudden rumble of thunder shook your apartment, making you jolt slightly.

You shuffled over to your couch and sat down with a huff, at loss for what to do. Though you didn’t have any plans for the weather to have ruined, you couldn’t help but feel a bit wistful—like you were missing out on something.

As if in tune with your shift in mood, the rain began to fall at a more steady pace, quickly covering the glass of your window in droplets.

A flash of lightning lit up the sky for good measure, and you curled up against the cushions. As you did so, you spotted an orange object laying on the floor nearby. You squinted curiously before recognizing it, and a small smile formed on your face.

It was Felix’s Kakao Friends plushie, more specifically, his Ryan one. He must’ve left it behind when he and Seungmin had come over a few days ago.

You reached for the stuffed lion, leaning off the couch slightly in the process. It was soft to your touch, and Felix’s familiar scent flooded your nostrils as you took it in your hold. You wrapped your arms around the plushie, an unmistakably warm feeling spreading through your chest at the thought of its owner.

Another rumble of thunder passed, and with Felix now on your mind, you couldn’t help but wonder how he was doing. He tended to get nervous during thunderstorms, and you hoped for his sake that he’d be able to find something to comfort him until it was over.

As if on cue, your phone buzzed against your thigh. You pulled it out of your pocket hastily, brightening when you saw that you’d received a text from the boy in question.

lix ☀️🐣: hey, are you free rn?

Your heart skipped a beat as you read the message. Trying to contain the excitement that bubbled up within you, you typed out a response.

you: yeah, what’s up?

Just seconds later, his reply came, and a grin spread on your face as he confirmed your suspicions.

lix ☀️🐣: do you think you could come over?

you: hmm depends. what’s in it for me?

lix ☀️🐣: wah….is seeing me not enough?

you: awww ofc

you: but a lil smth extra wouldn’t hurt

lix ☀️🐣: wow ㅜㅜ

lix ☀️🐣: ...

lix ☀️🐣: i made cookies~

you: you know the way to my heart mr. lee

you: alright, omw

lix ☀️🐣: see you soon! ^^

Your smile grew wider as you reread the messages, unable to help the way your face heated up over such a simple interaction.

It wasn’t that visiting Felix’s place was a rare occurrence for you—quite the opposite, actually. But despite that, you still felt butterflies in your stomach when you considered the slim chance of getting to hang out with him one-on-one.

Felix had seven other guys living with him, so more often than not, at least a handful of them would be at the dorms as well, meaning privacy wasn’t exactly an option. Not that you really minded—you liked to think you got along with all of them, but spending time alone with Felix was still something you cherished.

You’d long accepted that your feelings for him went beyond the affection you had for the rest of your friends. What had started out as a mutual fondness for each other turned into an unexpectedly strong attachment, and somewhere along the line you’d realized in horror that you’d begun to see Felix in a light that wasn’t so platonic anymore.

The more you were around him, the harder it became to deny. You began noticing things about him that you’d never noticed before—little quirks and mannerisms that endeared you to no end. Like the cute way he’d imitate the people around him, or the way he’d push his tongue into his cheek whenever he was annoyed.

Every one of his features—from his crescent eye smile, to his delicate hands, to his bunny teeth, to his button nose—suddenly became more than just mere details to you. They occupied your mind so much that it became hard to focus around him.

Feeling a bit ridiculous, you let out a heavy exhale and rose from your couch, deciding to change into something a bit more presentable before heading over to Felix’s place. You made your way to your bedroom, head still buzzing with complicated thoughts as you decided on what to wear.

For obvious reasons, you’d tried to keep these troublesome feelings to yourself. It was much more important to you that you maintained your friendship with Felix, no matter how hard it was to be around him without thinking about kissing his freckled cheeks or relaxing into his back hugs without an underlying feeling of dread.

More than anything, you prayed that none of the others had noticed you acting strangely around him. Minho, Chan, and Seungmin stressed you out especially, since they were the most perceptive of the bunch. You wouldn’t put it past them to drop hilariously unsubtle hints about it, or—God forbid—hatch a plan to set you and poor, oblivious Felix up.

The distant rumble of thunder snapped you from your stream of consciousness, urging you to get a move on. You made quick work of gathering up your things, not wanting to make Felix wait any longer than he already had.

On your way out, his Ryan plushie caught your eye once more, causing you to stop in your tracks.

A small, selfish part of you wanted to keep it with you at your apartment, both to serve as a reminder of him and an excuse to invite him back over. Eventually, you decided against it, figuring that it would help comfort Felix to have it in the midst of the storm. You quickly scooped up the stuffed lion and headed out.

It didn’t take long for you to arrive at the boy’s dorm, and you tried your best to avoid stepping in puddles as you rushed to the entrance of the building. Once you were shielded from the rain, you shut your umbrella and scurried up the staircase, your wet shoes squeaking as you did.

Panting slightly, you gave the door a few knocks, trying to recollect yourself before Felix opened it. He didn’t give you much of a chance, however, as the door instantly swung open and you were greeted with his bright face.

“Hi!” He chirped, his smile as sunny as ever.

You smiled back, trying to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat. “Hey, Lix.” You replied, slipping your shoes off before making your way inside. A particularly harsh strike of lightning flashed as you did, and with a squeak, Felix shut the door.

“Storm scare you?” You asked softly, already knowing the answer.

He nodded, looking a bit embarrassed. “Ah...thanks for coming. None of the guys are home, so...I was a little on edge, I think.” He scratched the back of his head sheepishly as he spoke, and your pang of sympathy was immediately in conflict with the excitement you felt knowing you had Felix all to yourself.

“It’s only natural for sunshine to hate the rain.” You joked, wondering if it’d be too much to reach out and give his cheek a pinch. Instead of groaning at the corny comment like you’d expected, Felix giggled, that unnaturally high giggle that embodied everything you adored about him.

In a brief moment of panic, you averted your gaze, hoping to keep your face from growing hot. “Anyway, I think I have something that’ll make you feel better.”

Felix watched curiously as you reached into your bag to pull out his plushie. As it came into view, his expression lit up.

“Ryan!” He wailed dramatically, lunging for the stuffed lion in an instant.

Before he could take it into his eager grasp, you pulled it out of reach. “Not so fast.” You stuck out your free hand. “Pay up, Lix.”

Like clockwork, his tongue-in-cheek habit made an appearance, effectively robbing you of the upper hand. You struggled to keep your gaze steady as Felix rolled his eyes, parting his lips slightly as he swiped his tongue across his teeth. “You’re holding my stuffed animal for ransom.” He complained.

You managed to grin in response, and with a huff, the boy led you to the kitchen.

“I made these just a couple of hours ago.” He explained, opening up the container of cookies. “They’re Bang Chan approved.”

Considering that half the stash seemed to be missing, you were more than inclined to believe him. Felix reached in for a cookie before you could, holding it up to your mouth with an enthusiastic look on his face. The action took you by surprise, and you inwardly applauded yourself for keeping your composure as he fed you a bite.

Flavor instantly flooded your tongue, and you let out a satisfied hum. The cookie was the perfect balance of soft and crunchy, and the chocolate chips melted in your mouth in a way that was nothing short of irresistible.

“How is it?” He asked. There was a hint of uncertainty in his voice, that never changed no matter how many times you tried his baking experiments. His big eyes bore eagerly into yours, searching for some sign of approval.

You savored the taste for a few seconds more before swallowing. “Heavenly,” You announced, licking your lips to emphasize the compliment. “You get better every time.”

Felix’s face broke out into a smile, eyes curving into those happy crescents. “I tried adding less butter this time like you suggested!”

Before you could respond, a particularly loud clap of thunder shook the room, indicating that the weather was getting more severe. Felix stiffened, and pity overtook you when his smile disappeared.

“Why don’t we chill for a bit until the storm passes?” You suggested. “Just you, me, and Ryan.” You wiggled the lion around enticingly, hoping your lighthearted tone would put his mind at ease.

Felix visibly relaxed before taking it from your hold. “Ah...good idea.” He agreed. You gave him an encouraging look, and his expression brightened once more.

Moments later, you and Felix were settled on his bed, his plushie snugly pressed between the two of you. You were essentially squished together due to the minimal space on the mattress, but neither of you minded in the least.

He wasted no time before nestling into you. He locked his hand with yours, and though it felt like the most natural thing in the world, it still made your breath hitch.

Felix’s affectionate nature was something that made your efforts to pretend like you weren’t head over heels for him especially difficult. He was always touching you somehow—resting his head on your shoulder, playing with your hands, hugging you from behind—if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he felt the same way about you as you did him.

Unfortunately, you did know better. Felix was simply a warm-hearted person, filled to the brim with love. You felt a bit guilty indulging in all his touches, but you were at least grateful that you could still share moments like this with him, even if the affection was purely platonic from his end.

You used your free hand to scroll through your phone, browsing the selection of shows on your streaming app. “Anything you wanna watch?”

He let out a thoughtful hum, gripping you a bit tighter as thunder rumbled overhead. You ran your thumb along the back of his hand in an effort to comfort him, once again finding yourself marveling at how oddly cute it was.

“Dunno…” Felix answered, voice mellow. “Kinda just want to stay like this for a bit, if that’s okay.”

He said it so casually, so nonchalantly, but that didn’t stop the butterflies from bursting in your stomach. Of course Felix just wanted to cuddle. Of course he didn’t want to do anything that could distract you from his presence. Of course he would make it as difficult as possible for you to feel even remotely calm around him.

You clenched your jaw, silently cursing your cruel fate, before responding. “Sure.” You mustered up the best smile you could.

Felix rested his head against your shoulder, making a soft, content noise as he did so. You forced your body to relax, suddenly aware of how tense you had become, and continued running your thumb up and down his hand as the sound of his slow breathing filled the room.

“Thanks again for coming.” He murmured.

You softened at that, lowering your guard. “Don’t mention it.”

Your eyes were still lingering on his delicate hand in yours, and without thinking, you brought it up to your lips, giving it a quick kiss.

Felix froze next to you, and your heart fully dropped as you realized what you’d done.

Panic filled the space your heart left behind in your chest. A kiss went beyond your typical intimacy with each other, and no matter how touchy Felix was, you knew he’d realize that as well.

Your brain immediately scrambled to come up with some sort of explanation, some kind of way to play this off before everything was completely and utterly ruined.

Before you could get out whatever weak excuse you’d come up with to salvage one of the most important relationships in your life, Felix lifted his head from your shoulder. Goosebumps rose on your arms as he came to face you, his dark eyes locking with yours

He was blushing, more than you’d ever seen him blush before, cheeks practically glowing pink. Despite that, his stare didn’t waver, and you shivered lightly as you were reminded of just how intense it could really be—like he could see right through you.

“Felix,” You began, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Can I kiss you?” He breathed.

Your words died in your throat, and you were certain that you owed your heart an apology for all the stress it’d undergone today. Felix’s gaze flickered down to your lips as he waited for you to say something.

In the midst of all the tension, the only thought that came to your mind was how clearly you could see each and every freckle on his face.

You surged forward, crashing your lips into his.

Felix’s squeak of surprise quickly transformed into a sweet, borderline angelic sigh. You kissed him deeply, not leaving any room for him to doubt how you felt about him, and with the way he melted into you, any remaining doubts you had were quelled.

His lips that you’d spent so much time dreaming about felt better than anything your imagination could conjure up. They were soft and plush and moving against yours with a clumsy sort of enthusiasm. Felix whimpered slightly as the kiss grew more passionate, reaching forward to grab onto your shirt. Your own hand found his hair, running through the soft locks and feeling them slip through your fingers just like you’d always longed to do.

When you finally pulled back for air, the both of you were panting lightly. Felix’s lips were parted as he caught his breath, making them look so irresistible that you had to stop yourself from leaning in all over again.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” You murmured.

Felix swallowed hard, and before you could process what he was doing, he lifted himself off the mattress and into your lap. He draped his legs over yours, his shy expression contrasting the boldness of his actions in a way that made your mind reel.

“Me, too.” He admitted. “I spent so much time thinking about it…imagining what it’d be like to kiss you. I just never—” He bit his lower lip. “Never had the guts to, I guess.”

“Seems like we didn’t know each other as well as we thought.” You giggled, leaning forward to rest your forehead against his.

Felix nuzzled his nose into you, letting out a small whine. You immediately took the hint, tilting your mouth upward to lock it with his once more.

The kiss grew heated again in no time, and when Felix parted his lips wider for you, you took the chance to slip your tongue in his mouth. He moaned softly, his responsiveness sending a chill down your spine that made you hungry for more of his reactions.

You brought your hand back to his hair, this time tugging at it with purpose. Felix whimpered as you took his bottom lip between your teeth and began to nibble gently. His hips involuntarily pushed into yours, and your breath hitched when you noticed with a start how hard he’d become in such a short amount of time. You sucked on his lower lip for a second longer before pulling back, leaving a thin trail of saliva to connect your mouth with his.

“Felix,” You murmured, trying to get him to meet your gaze. He ducked his head, mortified that you’d become very aware of his growing problem.

You took his chin in your hands, tilting his face towards you. “Lixie,”

The nickname was met with a sharp intake of air, and you felt his pulse race wildly beneath your fingertips.

“Are you okay to keep going?” You checked.

There was a pause, and for a moment, you wondered if he was having second thoughts. You searched Felix’s eyes, wide as moons, for some semblance of discomfort

“I want to,” He breathed. “I want to so bad. But I’ve just never…um…” He cut himself off suddenly, burying his face in your neck out of embarrassment.

You stayed quiet, waiting to see if he meant what you thought he meant.

He made a cute, frustrated noise, steeling himself to continue. “I’ve never ah...done anything like this before.” He mumbled into your skin.

His words admittedly caught you by surprise. Though Felix so naturally embodied a certain air of innocence, you’d always assumed he was far more experienced than he’d let on. There were moments here and there, little things that he’d do, that made you believe he knew exactly how desirable he really was.

But they came in flashes, so quick that you weren’t sure if it just was your own lovesick mind playing tricks on you. After all, in your eyes, no one was more desirable than him

You rested your hand on his neck, trying to ignore the strange giddiness bubbling up inside you. “It’s okay,” You reassured him. “We don’t have to go any further.”

Felix pulled back, puffing out his freckled cheeks, and you nearly cooed over how adorable the sight was. “But I want to,” He protested. “I just don’t know if I can be...good for you.”

The way he spoke those words, as if he longed for your approval more than anything else in the world, set something off in you.

“You don’t have to worry about that.” You soothed. “I’ll take care of you, baby boy.”

Felix shuddered, and the low whine that escaped him wasn’t lost on you. “Hm...you like being called that?” You hummed, your breath tickling his skin.

“M-mhm.” Felix managed, not trusting the steadiness of his voice enough to say anything else.

He jolted as you attached your lips to his neck, sucking at a spot of skin before trailing wet kisses along it. “That’s what you’re gonna be from now on, yeah?” You bit down gently, relishing in the cute whimper it elicited from him. “My baby boy.”

“O-oh God, please,” Felix mewled, tilting his head to the side to expose his throat to you. He began to rock his hips, and your hands slipped down to his waist to grab a hold of it. “Make me yours, please.”

His begging made your spine tingle, urging you to suck more intently right above his collarbone until a deep red mark was left on his soft skin. You felt his length, now fully hard, pushing against you as he squirmed around in your lap.

Deciding to tease him a bit more, you brought a hand up to his chest, trailing your index finger over his clothed nipple. Felix fully gasped at that, and you lifted an eyebrow in amusement. “Sensitive?” You purred, repeating the action.

He bit down on his lip to suppress another pitiful sound. “N-never been touched there.” He stammered out, thoroughly overwhelmed by all the new sensations. The movement of his hips grew stronger as you toyed with his nipples through the fabric, relishing in every one of his reactions.

You halted the movements of your fingers to lower your head, instead wrapping your lips around the delicate area. The heat of your mouth seeped through his shirt, and Felix’s voice spiked in pitch as he cried out. He grinded down against you desperately, gripping your shirt like his life depended on it.

“You’re so cute, Lixie.” You moved to his other nipple, kissing it tenderly through the material. In contrast to your gentle lips, you grazed your teeth over the hard bud, and Felix let out a moan so sinful that you felt yourself twitch. He bucked his hips in an adorably honest reflex, his body begging you for some kind of friction.

It wasn’t until you heard a weak mewl of your name that you finally pulled back to check on him. “Everything alright?” You asked softly.

Felix nodded, taking a moment to collect himself. “Better than alright,” He answered breathlessly. “It feels s-so good but…” He trailed off, swallowing hard.

“But?” You encouraged.

He played with the hem of your shirt as he tried to find his words. “Wanna do more…” He admitted, tilting his head to let his hair fall into his face. “It’s s-so hard that it hurts.”

Your lips curved into a delighted smirk, and you moved your hand down to cup Felix’s clothed length at last. The groan he let out didn’t disappoint as you gave it a gentle squeeze. “Poor baby,” You murmured. “You’re not used to all this, hm?”

An embarrassed noise escaped the boy, but he nodded nonetheless. “Let’s make it better.” You said sweetly. “Lie down for me.”

Felix instantly obeyed, shifting himself off your lap and settling down on his mattress. You slipped a pillow underneath his head before giving his cheek an affectionate pat. “Good boy. I’m gonna take these off now, okay?”

He swallowed audibly as you tugged at the waistband of his shorts. “Okay.” He agreed.

You slipped the garment off with ease, revealing the small, wet stain of precum that had formed on his underwear. Felix’s thighs trembled in anticipation as you traced your index finger along them, admiring the faint freckles adorning his skin.

“Please,” He inched his hips up ever so slightly, inviting you to have your way with him. The action effectively crumbled the last of your patience, and without wasting another moment, you removed his underwear as well.

Felix hissed as he sprung free, instinctively bringing his hands down to cover his bare length. You stopped him, taking his wrists into your hold and pushing them to the side. “Don’t hide yourself from me.” You chided gently. “Not when you’re this beautiful.”

After all the time you’d spent being far too careful of your every move around him, holding yourself back no matter how difficult it was in fear of crossing the line, you felt a physical weight lift off your chest being able to speak those words freely.

They made his face flush a deep red, and before he could shy away again, you took his cock into your grip. It twitched in relief as you wrapped your fingers around it, making it evident that Felix hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d told you how hard he’d become.

“How cute,” You cooed, smearing the precum that had gathered around his head. “Everything about you is so precious.”

Felix whined desperately, pushing his hips up into your hold. You drank in the sight of him, marveling at how far gone he looked already. His hair was disheveled, sticking out adorably in all directions, his lips were red and swollen, and his starry eyes were clouded with arousal.

After toying with his tip for a few more moments, you readjusted your position, lowering yourself directly against his length. Felix inhaled sharply, a hint of concern crossing his features. “Wh-what about you?” He asked meekly, noticing for the first time that you were still very much clothed.

“I said I was gonna take care of you, didn’t I?” You reminded him, entwining your fingers with his. “Don’t worry about me.”

Slowly, you began to grind down onto him, sliding your covered core up and down his cock. Felix’s moans began to pour out of him in an instant. The texture of your clothes against his sensitive length was new and intoxicating, and he squeezed your hands to ground himself as the rest of him writhed helplessly beneath you.

“Is it good, angel?” You checked, suppressing a moan of your own as his cock pressed against you.

Felix’s mouth hung open, a slew of sinful noises slipping past his pretty lips. “Yes!” He cried, jerking his hips up. “Love it...hah...feels amazing.”

His cries of pleasure urged you on, and you began to rock your hips more aggressively. The friction of your movements caused a delicious heat to build up where your cores met, steadily building up pressure in your lower abdomen.

“I can’t believe I get to see you like this.” You murmured, affection seeping into your voice. “All laid out for me...it feels like a dream.”

Felix whimpered amidst the deep breaths and groans, and the adorable sound tugged at your heart. “I’ve wanted this for so—ngh—long,” He stuttered out, digging his nails into the back of your hand. “Wanted y-you for so long.”

Judging by how worked up Felix had already become, not to mention how unfamiliar this kind of stimulation was to him , you knew his orgasm would be rapidly approaching. You gave an especially hard roll of your hips, grinding against him in just the right way and making him sob in pleasure.

“P-please,” He begged, voice growing hoarse. “Again, please d-do that again.”

His frantic request was like music to your ears, and you were quick to comply. “Such a polite boy.” You praised. “You like having your pretty cock pressed up against me?”

Felix groaned pathetically in response, eyes squeezing shut and head lolling to the side. He began calling out your name, and that coupled with the way his length spasmed against your core told you that he’d be coming undone soon.

You leaned down to press your lips against his, eagerly swallowing up his moans. Felix’s whole body quivered, becoming more overwhelmed by the second as you slid your tongue against his to create an electrifying pleasure.

Suddenly, he threw his head back to gasp out. “Ah…feels good! ‘M g-gonna cum!”

He was barely able to warn you in time before his orgasm washed over him, his body stiffening and hips surging upward. You continued to kiss him hungrily through his high, relishing in the whimpers that escaped him between the wet smacking of lips. His seed splattered against both your stomach and his, and you kept up the rocking of your hips to squeeze out every drop.

Only when the last few waves of pleasure had jolted through Felix’s body did you pull away, not wanting to overstimulate him when he was so sensitive to begin with. The room was quickly filled with the sound of your shared, heavy breathing, and though you hadn’t climaxed yourself, a feeling of bliss overtook you.

Felix’s eyes remained squeezed shut as he came down from his high, only fluttering open when you untangled your fingers from his. He gazed up at you as you cupped his face, and the reality of the situation came crashing down on you when you were met with a look of unmistakable adoration.

“I love you.” The words were out of your mouth before you could even think about stopping them, and despite everything that had just unfolded, you still felt yourself panic.

He didn’t give you much time to worry about your sudden proclamation, however, because his face instantly broke out into that familiar, sunny smile. “I love you, too.” He giggled, burying his face into your palms.

Though everything had changed, the warm feeling that spread through your chest remained the same. As you lifted yourself off of Felix to pull him into your arms, you noticed for the first time that the storm had passed and the sun had come out once again.

#skz smut #sub!skz #dom!reader #sub!felix #felix smut

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pokegalla · 2 years ago

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More fluff coming your way!!! But first a quick note!

A shoutout for @theneurodivergentdummy

They always give me new ideas, they are a talented artist and they deserve some follows!

Also! If y’all love learning about new Undertale AUs, I have an AU I’m creating called Unitytale! I’m working on a fanfic that already has two chapters up and an ask blog just for it! Come on by to ask more questions about the characters, story, or just pop in to say hi! Link to account right below:

Sorry for the long intro! Let’s get right back to it! (Little warning for a little NSFW. Nothing crazy just….Y’know how Red is.)

Underfell bros’ First Time Sleeping over at S/o’s home.

Red:

* MAN was he PUMPED. He played it cool though. Like oh sleep over at your place? What are we, kids? Sure let’s have a little pillow fort set up and make s’mores while we’re at it. Mind you he is mentally fist bumping in the air.

* Bake together before heading to bed! He actually knows how to bake so it would be fun! (Bonus points if it’s super late and y’all just say fuck it I wanna make some cookies-). You’d probably fool around and get into a messy battle of flour and batter.

* After a messy battle and cleaning up, you guys probably just wanna head to bed. He was a little nervous at first but tried to deny it but with your reassurance, he gets the confidence he needs and turns into a huge cuddly teddy bear!

* Though he does get a little….TOO confident if you get what I mean. Expect a firm grip on your tush or as a girl, on your chest. And a cheeky little smile from him if you point it out. (Lil shit-)

* And in the morning you can bet on lazy cuddles and kisses. He would be at his softest and sweetest. Please take advantage and make him blush with compliments and sweet words. He’ll love it and even be just as mushy.

Mini Story Time!!!

You stretched and snuggled more into the blanket. You should probably get up….you had a guest after all. You giggled as you looked up to see your bone-friend slightly snoring as he had an arm around your shoulders. You slowly tried to get up but Red quickly pulled you closer.

“C’mon! I need to make breakfast!”

“Five more minutes….,” He mumbled.

He opened his eye sockets and stared down softly at you, moving your hair out of your face and rubbing it between his fingers. The gesture was so gentle and loving….you smile and cup his cheek bones.

“You’re so adorable when you wake up. Teehee, it’s almost like we’re married,” You said.

You notice his face turns into a brilliant shade of his namesake but smiles before quietly saying, “If I get to see you every morning like this, I wouldn’t mind tying the knot.”

His smile widens as your face flushes up. He kisses you right on the lips. You kiss back, both of you giggling in between and finally ending it with a big hug.

“I love you,” You say happily.

Red kisses your forehead, “Love yah too sweetheart~”

Boss:

* He probably has been waiting AGES for you to ask him. Even setting up minor inconveniences to try and get you to invite him inside. (He was too embarrassed to ask you personally.)

* But when you asked him (or probably figured out his plan) he was estatic!!! He’ll be sure to be making dinner that night! And you can bet he made it elegant AND romantic!

* He even set up a romantic candle lit bubble bath! It comes with wine! (Don’t worry wine doesn’t have to have alcohol in it).

* Once you guys hop into you sleepwear, he low key was nervous. He’s excited to cuddle with you but he was calculating how his tall ass was gonna fit-

* You guys manage though! And in the morning you wake up to a breakfast in bed!

Mini Story Time!!!

You woke up to a lovely smell of coffee and pancakes, making your stomach rumble. You sat up right when Boss had entered the room.

“Ah! You’re Awake. Excellent. I Made Something For You,” He walked over and carefully placed a tray of food over your lap, “There! Now Eat Up! I Want You To Start Your Day With A Nutritious Breakfast!”

You giggle, “Aw you didn’t have to!”

“Of Course I Did! You Are My Date Mate! I Must Tend To You! What Kind Of Monster Would I Be If I Didn’t,” He proudly states.

“That or you’re showing off that your cooking is getting better?” You said.

He blushes, “Well That Too! Look! It’s Not Burned At All!!!”

You laugh and pat the bed beside you, “I’m proud of you. But you did make a bit too much food. I simply can’t eat this myself. Come eat with me! Pleeeeeeease?”

He chuckles softly, “Oh….Alright.”

You both enjoy the food together.

#my writing #self insert #undertale au #funny #fluff #domestic fluff #so fucking cute #undertale au headcanons #undertale au x reader #sans x reader #papyrus x y/n #underfell sans #underfell papyrus #go check out my other blog and my friend’s blog!!!#do it #do it now #the fluffy queen has spoken!#undertale fanfiction #discorving new aus

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soupbabe · 4 years ago

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Part 4 Characters Reacting to You Saying That You Can Hold The World in Your Hands and Then Holding Their Face

One lengthy ass title, but I've seen this concept from multiple blogs and that shit is so cute?? I live for cheesy fluff so much

~ Josuke Higashikata~

You were hanging out in Josuke's living room, watching him play videogames

It was fun for a while, but 10 min in you got bored and decided to mess with your boyfriend, who blushes easily

"Hey Josuke, I wanna show you something! " You quickly scooted yourself in front of him, not really caring about the game over screen going off in the background

"Hey! C'mon, what's so important that you couldn't wait?" You looked at him with a mischievous smile, "I can hold the world in my hands! " You proceeded to squish his face between your palms and you could see his face turn a light shade of pink and a dorky smile spread across

I don't care if this sounds out of character, dude is the type of guy to say "Aw shucks" unironically. That's exactly how he responds

Did you tease him about his response? Absolutely. Did he get you to stop laughing at him by kissing the tip of your nose? Of course

~Okuyasu Nijimura~

You both were walking around after a date at Tonio's and were goofing off

"Hey Oku, did you know I can fit the entire world in my hands?" "Sorry to break it to you Y/N, but I don't think that's possible. " Queue the plopping your hands gently on Okuyasu's face. "No, look, you're wrong!"

It took him like 5 whole minutes of him trying to understand until he actually got it.

"Huh? Oh,,,OH AWEE BABY THATS SO SWEET" Okuyasu brought you in a bone crushing hug, crying about how that's the cutest thing someone ever told him

He brought his hands up to your face and scattered kisses all over to show extra appreciation

~ Rohan Kishibe ~

Rohan isn't a man to get easily flustered so lately you've been trying to get him off guard and hope for a blush, maybe stutter if you're lucky

It was one of those rare occasions where you were able to get Rohan to take a break from his work and just have him relax with you while you're watching TV

Maybe while in this peaceful atmosphere you could catch him off guard and get him to blush

Quickly you turned towards the artist and held his face in your hands and with a giddy smile you say "I can't believe it, I can fit the entire world in my hands!"

He just kinda deadpanned and with a smushed face "Darling what are you doing? That sounds so cheesy too"

Mission failed. We'll get em next time

In the middle of pouting over your failed attempt, you missed the silent laugh that Rohan made at your statement

~Jotaro Kujo~

Please don't do this I feel like you'd end up causing an accidental ptsd flashback once you say "the world."

~Yoshikage Kira~

Everyday he managed to fit in you and him time before he gets dressed for work and that's usually just you two cuddling and good morning kisses

You were someone who filled up the housewife/househusband role in the relationship, so you savored these moments knowing you wouldn't be able to see him that much throughout the day

"Sweetheart, want to know something fascinating? I can fit the entire world in my hands." It was then you gently cupped his face and gazed into his eyes lovingly. "See?"

Yoshikage gave a small chuckle and held onto your soft hands, soaking up the attention your hands gave him

It wasn't until you tried to move your hands, Yoshikage gripped onto them. Not too harsh, but just enough to keep them there

"No no, keep them there. Let's just stay like this."

~ Yukako Yamagishi ~

You both are a pda couple, typically the cheesy romantic lines and gestures came from Yukako though

But pulling stuff like this wasn't uncommon and you usually said things like that when she gets upset by something

She could be fuming and all you have to do is not even say anything, just gently hold her like you're in a romantic novel and she's already better

"Awe sweetheart, you're my entire world too! I love you so much!"

Neat. Now you're the one being doted on and being squeezed by your surprisingly strong girlfriend

If anyone laughed at or looked at your failed attempt at being the romantic one in the relationship weirdly, she will threaten them and force them to encourage you to do more like that for her :)

~ Toshikazu Hazamada ~

Shh lowkey based off of a headcanon that Hazamada does enjoy drawing a lot and one of his inspirations was Rohan (before Rohan's episode tho)

You were at Hazamada's house, hanging out in his room while he sits at his desk drawing something in his sketchbook

While he was busy, you were giving some affection to his stand, using Surface as a temporary cuddle buddy and using it to give it's user some attention while he's stressing over each hand he draws

Don't get me wrong, you love Toshikazu, but it was getting annoying how often he seemed to neglect giving you proper attention and leaving his stand to do the work for him

"Hey Kazu, look I can hold the world in my hands!" You held the wooden stand close to you and giving it a lil cheek kiss, knowing it was a pet peeve of his when you give too much of your time to his stand rather than himself

Hazamada really went 👁️👄👁️ when the dummy even made a laughing motion at him "B-but why not me!? Am I not your world!?"

"Huh? Oh yea, don't worry honey. I still love you, but right now Surface gets the special boyfriend privileges since it pays attention to me."

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #diamond is unbreakable x reader #jojo's bizarre adventure diamond is unbreakable #jjba part 4 #diamond is unbreakable #josuke higashikata #josuke higashikata x reader #okuyasu nijimjra #okuyasu nijimura x reader #rohan kishibe #rohan kishibe x reader #kira yoshikage x reader #Yoshikage Kira #yukako yamagishi #yukako Yamagishi x reader #toshikazu hazamada x reader #toshikazu hazamada #jjba x reader

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dynyamight · 3 years ago

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I've seen a lot of people do it, so if you are up for it~ Ship your moots!

FINALLY. THE AWAITED LIST OF MOOTS IS COMPLETE. sorry this took forever anon!!

now, this is going to be long & i will try not to overexplain my ship pairings. did i take time to think about each paring? yes. but, will they be serious? no. they are dumb & silly.

let the crack pairings begin <3!!

@dekusneakers x BAKUGOU & TODOROKI now you would think? sneakers in a throuple? how come? mmm simple. i couldn’t choose one for her so she gets both. the more the merrier. besides, she deserves love from both sides, kisses on both cheeks. one begrudgingly smooch & one icy kith. as a deku kin, she’s completely satisfied. you’re welcome

@izusun x AIZAWA & ORCA similarly, i can’t have my bestie here with just ONE babe. so, i thought why don’t we get a fatherly figure & a dad bod to give her all the love she needs. so yes, bestie, you two deserves hugs at both sides of you. a twiggy one & a muscly one. the sun needs some shade, & that shade is these men.

@midnightpirates x SUKUNA he’s a mass murderer !! you can’t— oh, but i can. you see, yanna here hates mahito & guess who was the one to fuck up his shit. ah, that’s right, it was sukuna. two mahito an/tis sitting in a tree <3 it’s the perfect match made in hell.

@goth-himbo-dabi x DOCTOR WHO once again, people might wonder: why not dabi? my answer? it’s because my bby here finds the twiggy men attractive. i know, bummer. & you can’t get any twiggy-er than david tennant & matt smith. but which doctor? all of them.

@minisheku x KAMINARI i see you simp for his dunce face. & honestly, who wouldn’t?? also, i originally put sheepku,, but that’s ,, a bit weird. but, here’s the solution. you OWN a sheepku, with kaminari. ah yes, a modern day family unit. & he can entertain you, as well as be a source of electricity for your drawing tablet !! resources !!

@oyavaski x EN you said he was hot literally in your tags earlier in a reblog. so, i am simply gifting you water to quench your thirst. may you two meet in afo, & fall in love in the subconscious of deku’s mind. will deku feel awks? yeah. but like pfft, he’s so whipped for bkg, he’ll forget you two chilling in the corner of his thoughts.

@okworstie x GOJO & WATARI i never have to look up the gojo tag, like ever. because you’re always plastering his face all over my timeline. & yes, this is a good thing. but, the same applies to watari. i have never even seen bakudiez, or whatever it’s called, but apparently he’s aro, & there’s a moth man, & tape hits post limit thursday’s? yeah just keep both, mimi.

@rrandomtthings x AN/TI as one of fellow loyal, amazing bkdks, i think it’s only fitting that you find true love with a bkdk an/ti. create the banti we seek in our community. the enemies to lovers trope is in your blood, written in your deku genes. so, i dedicate the banti movement with this small offering of a ship. may you find diamonds on the minecraft server & build a diamond cabin.

@believeyourgalaxy x ITADORI you two are such cinnamon rolls !!!! super friendly. super kind. super relatable. & together, you guys can pin over megumi. maybe hopefully, sam can help itadori with his low iq brain to finally get together with megumi. because damn, sam can be like “this is my boyfriend, itadori. & this is itadori’s boyfriend, megumi.”

@wrensknight x SHIRAKUMO i didn’t even know it was oboro birthday, until you not only made a public post about to, but made art for him. cloud boy needs that partner to respect & cherish him entirely. & you just treat him so right?? draw him so good?? i hope you can go cloud watching & then later, ride the clouds with him. till death do you guys uh,, you know,,

@b1m0 x MIDORIYA you can't stand when he gets injured, let alone reckless & trying to save the world, when he should literally be saving his own ass. but, that just means you care about him DEEPLY. plus, you both are wholesome people. obviously two cinnamon rolls make a whole bakery !! & who doesn't want a bakery ?? i sure do! wehjw idk why i brought the point here, but just know you two make sense.

@mysterionrising x RENGOKU & VIGILANTE DEKU it’s that enemies to lovers trope once again !! for someone who wrote him off as annoying the first seconds she met him, kenny sure flipped over to the stan side. ever since then, i can only see kenny when i see rengoku. but, you know who else reminds me of kenny. vigilante deku. it’s super fruity that you have an entire bomb playlist for him. so keep him too !!

@kamishima x KIRISHIMA you are the biggest kiri simp i have ever met. you basically ship kiri with anyone who makes him happy. though, you do have a lot of ships, but with kiri it’s different. & so, i was thinking ‘mmm, if bug ships kiri with so many people?? shouldn’t she ship him with HERSELF?’ boom. suddenly both kiri & bug are happy, with a lovely home. my work here is done.

@ckatsudon x LAW LIET did i dig through your blog. why yes. & you know what i found? reblogs & tags dedicated to L. he’s best boy. he’s precious. he deserves a better end. an end with you. mmhmm !! because if we rewrote death note, where you were light, i think L & light could have been canon. & that also would make you happy. & the rest of the entire world

@drfox-kinnie x UNIKITTY i don’t even know the show, let alone who unikitty is exactly. but, you reblogged a banner, confirming your love for unikitty. & so, i am of course doing you a big favor !! she’s bubbly, friendly, & passionate just like you !! & bestie, while i may not know nothing about her, i know you love her. so, maybe you two platonically have a wonderful time, adventuring with the other wholesome characters !! also,, is she big enough to travel on? if so, look i got you a cat car!!

@midorree x MINACHAKO i ship you with another ship. why? because i can. besides, you are like my moot who is genuinely a head leader of the minachako ship on my timeline, & you have steadily been converting me?? but, i also noticed that mina AND uraraka have stolen your heart, & you have yet to fight them for it back. i hope you three can go into a brawl & see who can grab each other’s hands fastest.

@kiribakuxkacchakolover x HATSUME YOU HAVE IT AS YOUR TITLE HEADER. like you are literally having a billboard that calls mei your cutie patootie. &, you ask, & you shall receive. i hope you two can be the dorkiest nerds together, & ramble for eons & eons. i hope i’m invited to the transformer wedding you two will have <,3

@balaroo x MIRUKO like before, you too have your interest out in the open in your title header. but, you see, miruko is a total babe, with confidence & ego & with this stride that makes even the most alpha male quiver. you would be a total wife to miruko’s girlboss energy & that’s why this ship totally works.

@quix-mix x FREDDY FAZBEAR my precious lil young moot, i dug into your blog & noticed you enjoy the fnaf games. & mmm are you perhaps wanting to cuddle a certain demonic teddy bear? well, i approve. he'll fall in love, head over heels, with your art, he might not possess you right away !! might. but, listen, you always do enjoy the villains (; i gotchu !!

@lonely-rabbit x LANCE you said we’re moots & i agree, we are. however, i have noooo idea what even are your preferences. so, i went digging. & it’s such a coincidence that we bonded over our voltron trauma, & yet you still continue to simp over lance. &, like i don’t blame you !!! he’ll always be dumb baby & so all i ask is that you love him, for our sake. & sanity.

#star responds #THIS TOOK FOREVER STILL #EVEN WITH MY SHORT EXPLANATIONS #but tadaaaa #the moots have now been complied #& ahajsbkssj i HOPE you all like your pairings. even the dumb ones <#I ALREADY KNOW SOME OF YALL WILL LAUGH LMAOO #otherwise if you want to roast me & what my pairing would be. pls feel free to do so #this was so fun omgg thank you anon for this opportunity!!#anon #moots

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zekeluvr · 4 years ago

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hey i just found your blog and i like ur style! so can i ask for a lil fluffy scenario where the reader and zeke go on a little coffee date? that makes my heart melt 0//0

I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE ! TURN IT UP !

-- fluff under the cut --

meeting zeke was probably the best moment of your life. scratch that, it was. you had never thought you’d both hit it off so well. you had met him through a mutual friend, pieck. from your first meeting you both had found company in eachother whenever you and your friends had an outing. he was always there for you whenever you needed him. hell, he even made you a spotify playlist with songs that reminded him of you.

which is why you were so nervous for this date. the first one since you both made it official. you didn’t want to mess up. you wanted this to go as smooth as it possibly could. you stared at your reflection in the mirror for the nth time that day. it was a casual date at the nearby cafe. nothing too fancy so you opted for a casual outfit. a light cream coloured jumper tucked into a matching checkered skirt which was a slight shade darker. you had white trainers to match and you had your hair down.

“it’s perfect don’t worry about it! it’s going to go well!” pieck reassured you through a voice note.

as you arrived at the shop you had already spotted him in his favourite place. it was in a small far corner, a book in his hands, brows furrowed. you hyped yourself up before walking over.

“guess who?” you teased, popping up from behind his book.

“y/n! when did you get here?” the blond jumped back in surprise, tucking the book away into his bag.

“just now, don’t worry about it.” with further inspection of the table your drink and a slice of angel cake sat on your side of the table. he had remembered your order? it was a small action yet it had your heart swelling.

“you remembered?” you looked up with a smile adorning your lips.

“of course i did, darling.” the pet name always had you made you giddy. the way it fell from his lips so naturally when he talked and referred to you.

you pushed the slice of cake to the middle of the table.

“share with me.”

he took the spoon that you offered to him, scooping up a small piece before tapping your chin with his finger.

“open.” and you did as he fed you.

your cheeks warmed up as he stared at you in adoration.

it’s as if the world around had faded. it was just the two of you in your own world.

both of your drinks were finished long ago yet none of you wanted to leave. taking his glasses and placing it on your face in a playful attempt to make fun of him but your heart leaped when he had said that they looked cuter on you. you guys could get lost in every conversation you both had, chatting up until closing time. it was quite late and you didn’t even know time had flown so quick.

“you can crash at mine?” zeke offered, the gentleman that he is.

and thats what you did. in one of his sweaters. you both cuddled up to eachother, basking in eachothers warmth.

#zeke fluff #zeke yeager fluff #zeke x reader fluff #zeke x reader #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan x reader fluff

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gldie · 3 years ago

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✰ ⊰ GOLDIE: ❛ 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐏.

A year after her departure from KPWR-FM, 𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄 has scored a career as being a television host for BET. In this interview, 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃 took the time to drive right on down to Westchester to ask her all the questions that people want to know about her rise to fame and how she’s juggling it along with motherhood and her love-life.

━━ ❛ 𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃. ╱

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: Goldie mfn’ Forde! How are you doin’ on this beautiful afternoon? Your house looks great, by the way. I love it! Thank you so much for havin’ me.

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: Holli Hoooood! I’m doin’ great, actually. Just tryna’ get used to being on the opposite end of an interview. But, no. Thank you for takin’ the interest in interviewing lil’ ol’ me. ❜

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: Well, we gotta interview the hottest women in the game right now and your talk show THE GOLDEN HOUR has been killing it as of lately. You should be proud! You workin’ your ass off and still make time to be a mother. I must say your little boy is the cutest. [ The woman gestures at the little boy who is sleeping on her mother’s lap. ]

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: Aw, gosh. [ She blushes with a wide smile on her face and she glances down at him, running her hand along the baby’s back. ] I don’t know what else to say but thank you. All these compliments makin’ me blush! [ She laughs softly before looking back at the interviewer. ] Workin’ my ass off is in my blood, though. I gotta from my momma. She don’t play that lazy sh*t. Doesn’t he look just like his momma, though? I need that on the record just in case someone tries to say that he looks like his daddy. ❜

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: He sure does, y’all look like twins. Woulda’ swore that you had that baby on your own, honestly. [ The interviewer chuckles before placing her hand on the notepad she held. ] But how are you liking motherhood? Is it a hard transition?

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: [ The smile on her face doesn’t fade doesn’t fade until she hears the last question that she asks. Sighing softly, she looks up at the sky as she tries to find the words to answer. ] In the beginning it was actually. I struggled a lot trying to get use to being a mother and not letting it consume who I am. Like of course, I’m a mother before everything, but I’m also a sister, friend, business woman, you know stuff outside of that. [ Looking back at the interviewer, she continues with a soft smile on her face. ] I also kinda’ struggled to connect with my child. I felt like I wasn’t going to be the best mother to him, I felt lonely, the whole nine. But now, we’re good. He’s my whole heart. Who I do it for, my everything. ❜

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: That’s beautiful, Goldie. I know a lot of women struggle with Post-partum depression after having their first child. I know it must be hard trying to balance your career-life and being a mother but you make it look easy.

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: Whew, girl when I tell you it takes a village and that’s the only reason it looks so damn easy. [ A laugh emits from her lips before she feels her child shift in her lap. Mouthing the words oops, she picks him up in her arms before looking over her shoulder for her mother. ] Mommmyyyy, can you get your grand-baby? [ She speaks softly so that she won’t disturb him before pecking his cheek repeatedly. Once her mother walks over and takes him, she turns around to finish the question. ] Without that woman, wouldn’t be no Goldie on television. My mother and father, his father along with his side family help me out so much. He’s on set with me sometimes, but most of the time I want him to be somewhere quiet and not too rowdy. ❜

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: Wow! You seem to have the ideal support group. Why happened to you and ZION’s father?

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: [ A dry chuckle left the woman’s lips as she stared at the interviewer’s visage, swallowing the lump in her throat before she shifted in her seat some. ] Uh, lack of communication and failure to reason with one another. Yup. [ She finished with a soft head nod. ] But co-parenting is great. You know, our focus is completely on our son and what’s best for him. Next question, please. ❜

━━ ❛ 𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒. ╱

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: Alright, Goldie. What achievements from last year are you most proud of?

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: My greatest achievement is Zion Israel Powers. I mean, with all the struggles that I experienced with pregnancy, I couldn’t be more grateful that God granted me the opportunity to be his mommy. [ She couldn’t help but to beam when she spoke about her child. ] The second great achievement of last year was putting myself first and leaving a job that didn’t serve my purpose. I will always be grateful to KPWR, but leaving a job that stifled my creativity was the best decision that I ever made. ❜

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: I know that’s right, Goldie! We leaving everything that doesn’t serve us in 2020, okay!? [ She laughed with a point before moving on to the next question. ] And what about the achievements of this year?

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: And neva’ eva wrong. [ She laughed back while pointing back at the woman with her index finger. ] Uh.. I’m proud of the fact that I overcame a dark time in my life and I found a new part of myself that I never really got the chance to know. I’m happy with... uh... I’m happy with my life. Yeah. I’m making the kind of money that I want. I achieved two of my biggest dreams, I’m more secure in my body and I’m happy. Yeah. ❜

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: We love seeing black women happy, sis. I know a lot of people have been trying to steal your shine and happiness in the blogs. Do you have anything to say to the former talk show host that you replaced? She’s been in the media outlets throwing shade and subliminals a lot.

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: [ A short chuckle leaves the woman’s lips before she scratches her nose with her acrylic nail, pursing her lips up slightly. ] Mm... Not really, if it’s not direct, it doesn’t get acknowledged by me. I truly wish her the best in her future endeavors, though. I know it’s hard seeing someone else win while you struggle. I been there myself, but hating on the next woman isn’t going to change anything so.. ❜

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: Well said. Very professional! I’m over here tryna’ be miss messy boots and you curvin’ it. You sure you haven’t had any media training? [ She snickers before moving onto the last question of this segment. ] Okay, lastly, what goals do you have for next year?

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: None whatsoever. I’m just good like that. [ The woman speaks with a small smile before tilting her head to the side while she listens to the question asked. ] Goals for next year? To keep growing my brand, girl. Hopefully create my own app, merch, go on a talk show tour, maybe write a book? Who knows! I’m most definitely putting my momma and daddy in a new house, though. I know that. [ She said with a nod before clasping her hands together and shrugging. ] I’m letting life take me on this journey and I’m just ridin’ the wave. I pray it takes me in the right direction. ❜

━━ ❛ 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄. ╱

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: Now this house, what made you choose a house like this? Especially in a neighborhood that you’re not used to.

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: It was definitely a change from my apartment in Crenshaw. I’m still in Inglewood but I’m not on the same block that I’m used to be on. I’m not doing hair out of my apartment to make some extra money. You know, I’m in the rich neighborhood and sometimes, you know I feel left out. But when I saw this house, I knew it was the one for me despite the neighborhood change. I needed a space that could accommodate me and all my needs along with my family. ❜

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: Can we get a tour? I mean, a house this beautiful needs to be viewed by the people and I’m sure your fans would like to see how you livin’. Don’t you think?

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: This isn’t my dream house, but it’s definitely an impressive STARTER HOME, ya’ know? It’s very spacious for family events and my family like to link all the damn time, so. I like it a lot. It’ll hold me over until further notice. I got everything baby proofed because I just know this lil’ boy gon’ be something else when he starts getting more a handle on this crawling thing. ❜

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: The entire house is flawless, but let’s get into this STACKED WARDROBE. You take this fashion sh*t serious, don’t ya’? Let me borrow some of these clothes. Or at least show me how you do it, chile.

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: I really don’t know what I’m doing with this fashion shit, I just know what looks good on me. Which is damn near everything. [ The woman speaks cockily, letting a laugh follow soon after before she looked over her closet. ] But I think I take a lot of my looks from old models and vixens of the 90s and 00s. Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of brands and clothing lines reaching out trying to get me to wear something from their lines. So, I’m excited about that. [ She says in a sing-song tone before doing a little dance. ] If you ever want me to give you some pointers, be sure to watch my show for my fashion tips segment. The girls really like that. ❜

❛ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃: I’ll be sure to tune in for that, girl! Thank you so much for this wonderful interview. You’ve been a pleasure to interview, honestly. [ The interview reaches over to shake her hand with a grin on her face. ] I told you it wasn’t going to be that bad. You guys be sure to tune in THE GOLDEN HOUR feature the gorgeous GOLDIE on BET everyday @ 5/6 ET.

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐄: Thank you so much for having me! You were great, made me feel so comfortable and everything. [ She compliments the interviewer while she shakes the woman’s hand then she looks directly into the camera lens. ] Listen to the woman, y’all. She know what she’s talkin’ ‘bout. Kisses, see y’all lata’! ❜

#✰ ━━ ㅤ ♯𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁: ⌯ task. ❜#✰ ━━ ㅤ ♯𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁: ⌯ develop. ❜#tw ━ long post.#queued up.

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orbitariums · 5 years ago

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𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟒)

part three

note - i wanna thank everyone for reading once again! i'm currently in the process of writing imagines, those will be posted throughout the week, i don't want to clog up my blog bc i want y'all to see this chapter!

this one switches pov a lil more frequently, so bear with me <3 also not as smutty as other chapters, this is more of an emotionally-charged chapter!!! still a teensy bit smutty thooo. i want to make it clear that while this fic is definitely rooted in smut & sex & sex work, it is not porn without plot & will not ONLY be smut as i put effort and time into plot development / character development! i'm sure y'all know that tho. there will be conflict, there will be plot!!! i feel like that's clear already but there's discourse on smut happening rn and i wanna voice myself! omg anyways luv y'all enjoy the reaaad <3

new taglist!

playlist

word count - 8.3k

warnings - age gap, sex work, smut, vibrator, ANGSTYYY like hella dramatic, dirty talk

That slight shift that you and Steve both felt, that happiness that you realized came from talking to one another, only lasted so long... for you. You could hardly sit in your feelings about your situation with Steve before another thing that occupied all your time came crashing down upon you. Except this time, the thing brought you no such happiness or curiosity.

You had spent almost your entire senior year working on a special lab project about drought tolerant plants in Southern California where you lived and went to school, and your professor was making completing your project incredibly hard for you. And you felt incredibly stressed out about the entire situation - not only was the project necessary to graduate, but it was your heart and soul for the past year. Now, your professor was basically saying it was "ineligible."

"Ineligible?" Aaliyah repeated after you, after you told her what your professor had said.

"Whatever the hell that means," you huffed as you power walked down the street, hand in hand with Aaliyah, your free hand holding a coffee.

"That's so fucking annoying, holy shit," Aaliyah pressed a hand to her forehead. "He had the whole year to talk to you about changing your topic and...”

"And he never did," you sighed, frowning. You settled down onto a bench where the two of you sat next to each other, staring out into the busy streets and sipping your iced coffees.

California was a beautiful place, and you were a native, you'd lived there all your life. You knew the ins and outs of your city, knew Southern California like it was your backbone. And you loved it here - loved the sun, the beaches, the way the people were either shady in the best way or incredibly friendly. You'd never really known any other place like you knew this place. You were just glad that if you had to be stressed, you could do so in California.

Aaliyah pouted, feeling for you. She placed her hand on your knee to be comforting,

"Babe..."

"It's okay," you sighed. You sucked it up, like always, because you had learned how to fend for yourself ever since you realized that depending on others could only lead to downfall. You would figure this out the same way you figured everything else out... on your own. You figured out your house on your own, your job, your finances.

"Is it, though?" Aaliyah pursed her lips and squinted at you. Despite how much you tried to fend for yourself, Aaliyah was always there for you. She was one of your biggest supporters.

"I'll just keep visiting during his office hours and work this out."

Aaliyah rolled her eyes,

"Men are so annoying, girl. You know what, he probably wants to fuck you. With your fine ass. That's why he's doing all this."

You chuckled, shaking your head and covering your mouth, trilling back in response,

"Okay girl, don't get too ahead of yourself."

"I'm serious! Men are evil. Oh, except your fave."

You made a face, nearly choking on your iced coffee. This was news to you,

"Who are we talking about?"

"You know," Aaliyah sang slightly, nudging you and leaning against your shoulder. "Mr. Won't Show His Face."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, but bit down on your straw with a knowing smile, eyes peeking out over the top of your shades. If you were being honest, this idea of Steve, whoever he really was, had been a fun thing to entertain during this period of stress. You'd been talking and engaging with him for two and a half weeks now, and the connection you two had was undeniable.

But you knew better - maybe he wasn't just another customer, because you could really talk to him and felt like he was real - then again, he was strictly a customer. You liked him, a lot, but you couldn't like him any more than you already did. That would be dangerous and silly, and create unrealistic expectations. It wasn't like you could go on dates or anything.

Still, talking to him (and performing for him) did help to distract you from your stress, at least for a small amount of time. Steve was becoming less shy, less inhibited. He cracked jokes and was starting to keep up with your innate sense of sexuality, starting to navigate you, find you the way a bee might find its nectar, hidden deep inside the curvatures of a flower.

If you were a flower, you'd probably be a sunflower - bright, yellow, almost always in a positive mood, or at least trying to keep yourself in a positive mood. More than that though, sunflowers were tall and looming - you felt like that represented your put togetherness and how hard you worked, how smart you were. Only sometimes it was hard to keep yourself up and tall, but you always did it, time and time again.

But when it came to Aaliyah's comments about Steve, she mostly just made you laugh.

"Haven't seen him yet, have you?" Aaliyah asked, raising her brows expectantly.

"No. And I'm fine with that. He's simply another very loyal customer who I happen to like."

"Hm," Aaliyah hummed, and you could tell her mind was up to something - some very wishful, and mischievous thinking.

"What are you up to?" you narrowed your eyes at her and glared at her, and she just shook her head with a lazy smile,

"Nothing. Just thinking that maybe it would be cool if he really was this really hot guy that you actually knew and he wasn't creepy and y'all... you know... started dating. Just to get your mind off a lot of crap. I know, I know, strictly against the rules, blah blah blah. No feelings for customers, it's basic shit. But in a perfect world..."

"I know," you sighed without thinking, sipping at your drink.

"You know?" Aaliyah questioned, surprised.

You shrugged,

"So I've thought about it. Except, you know, in a perfect world, I'd meet a guy like Steve in like, a farmer's market or something. Not on my shady ass cam shows."

Aaliyah snorted laughing, and at the sound of her laughter, you joined in.

You continued,

"I mean, not Steve exactly, because that would be weird. I just mean, a guy like Steve."

"You mean a guy who makes you feel the same way he makes you feel," Aaliyah corrected you, and you glared at her again, pushing her gently.

"Don't push it," you teased, but you meant it - you might have liked Steve, but that was all there was to it - you liked him, he was a distraction. And maybe even that was too much.

✺ ✺ ✺

As for Steve, he thoroughly enjoyed his time with you. He thought constantly about how you made him feel, how much he looked forward to talking to you. How everyday, his worry about your situation becoming more serious dissipated slowly. He could feel himself easing into you, everything that made up this character you created called Moonrose. Conversation seemed casual, like you knew each other in real life, it felt easy, and there was no pressure.

As for your connection, he had finally acknowledged that it was real, and more than either of you had wanted to realize at first. But now, there was no shame, no worry in acknowledging what the two of you had, because you were both smart enough to keep it at this level. It was like a shallow pool. There would be no drowning.

He mostly talked to Bucky about you when it came to the emotional aspect of it. He still feared that if he talked to Tony, it might come across as an issue, and might put a pause on what he had with you. But everyone noticed how different Steve was acting. Even without the phase he had gone through where he was sexually frustrated and angry, he still acted different.

Lighter on his feet, more smiley. And he was always on top of his work. You weren't distracting him from his duty, so that made the fact that he knew you had a unique connection with him more bearable. Because of you, he was learning to worry less. To have a little more fun.

It was a bright day that week, the sun filtering in through the large windows of the meeting room where everyone was gathered. Steve was engaging in some mindless conversation with Sam and Bucky in which they were debating whether or not pineapple belonged on pizza.

"No. I'm not sure why everyone keeps trying to put all these twists on pizza. It's pizza," Bucky scoffed, Sam rolling his eyes as a result.

"You're just closed off. With your old ass," Sam retorted, and Steve made a face. Sam raised his hands up in surrender. "You know what I mean. What about you Steve?"

Honestly, Steve had never even tried pineapple on pizza and he didn't understand why there was such a big fuss about the banal question.

"I don't really have an opinion," he shrugged, not expecting Sam and Bucky to start clamoring over him and trying to force him to pick a side.

Before he even got to grasp the situation, he felt Natasha patting his shoulder,

"Hey, mind if I use your laptop? Mine's gone haywire, don't really feel like messing with it right now."

"Yeah," Steve agreed without a second thought, setting his laptop on the table and letting Natasha handle it- she was better with tech stuff than he ever was.

Natasha would use his laptop to showcase some data and start off their morning. It seemed innocent enough —a simple, barely impacting sacrifice. But Steve clearly hadn't thought everything through, because the moment Natasha logged in and hooked up Steve's computer to the holographic projector, more than just data appeared on the screen.

In fact, a whole array of women, all of them engaging in various sexual acts or preparing themselves to, showed up on the screen. And at the top, where the browser was, were the words "girlsonfilm.com."

Steve hadn't noticed all the clamor, too busy thinking (thoughts of you and thoughts of work), until Bucky called it to his attention.

"Steve," he nudged him frantically, his voice a loud whisper.

When Steve looked up at the screen, his face couldn't have gone any redder. He hadn't thought about this at all, and he had clearly forgotten to close out his browser. His heart sunk all the way to his stomach - because it wasn't just Natasha seeing this, it was everybody. And that included Tony, who was glaring pointedly at Steve from the head of the table. Meanwhile, all the others were too busy heckling Natasha and making brash comments about what was appearing onscreen. To Steve's relief, your face didn't show up, but this just might have been worse than only your screen appearing.

"Woah, Nat, I didn't know you got down like that!" Sam hooted, cupping his mouth with his hands.

Natasha, though she was in shock as well, rolled her eyes,

"This is Steve's laptop."

Now a hush, then another clamor of confusion and heckling, all directed towards Steve. He couldn't recoil any more, feeling the pangs of embarrassment as his eyes flashed between every one of his teammates. He felt as if there were an asteroid approaching fast, and he was right where it would land, too slow to move out of its way.

"Steve, what do you know about 'girls on film'?" Sam nearly cackled, reading the name of the site.

Steve sighed deeply, locking eyes with Natasha as he mouthed "turn it off" to her.

"I am, I am," she ensured him, quickly disconnecting the laptop from the projection, unplugging completely.

A beat passed, everyone staring expectantly at Steve, who was staring down at the table, trying to process his own thoughts. Like for starters, why didn't he log out the last time, and why didn't he remember to log out? And then his mind went to deeper places. He hadn't been intentionally secretive with his actions, but he had been intentionally private. It had to do with his own growth, he was learning how to navigate a world that was new to him and somehow helping him at once. He didn't want to have to share this with everyone, it was nice having this to himself, he had no intentions of revealing what he had been doing in his past time that made him so happy.

One of the reasons he didn't want everyone to know about his situation was because he didn't want to have to be concerned with what everyone else might think. Because to begin with, being on a site for cam shows wasn't exactly everyone's idea of what Captain America might be up to these days.

It was a matter of his image, what values he was supposed to hold. This didn't exactly match, and Steve had just gotten over the idea that he was a bad, sneaky person because of what he chose to indulge in. At least here he knew it was ethical and not causing harm to you as a human being.

He also didn't want to have to deal with the insufferable questioning and teasing his team would put him through, or the judgment he thought they might put him through. He felt embarrassed, exposed, and like he had been ill prepared for a situation like this. He was just grateful they hadn't seen more, because that would've been a disaster. What they had seen was only at the surface level of what he'd been doing.

But his thinking was interrupted by Tony's voice, which broke through all the silence, and made Steve realize again the eyes that were on him.

"Well, jig's up," Tony sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Care to explain?"

Steve locked eyes with Tony, as if hopeful that he wouldn't have to, but he knew it was best for him to just spit it out. Tony shrugged apologetically, and Steve took in a deep sigh, looking around at everyone at the table.

"What was that?" Scott whimpered, probably the most distraught by what they had all seen.

Steve nodded solemnly and began to explain himself. He would tell the truth, but that didn't mean he had to tell them everything. You would be left out of this, if anything. He'd just explain to them that sometimes, duty calls - and sometimes, it's not at all work-related.

✺ ✺ ✺

It was just hours before your cam show when another disaster struck, the first one being the fact that your professor was giving you shit about your project. You were in the bathroom, getting ready for your show, fixing your hair up and doing your makeup, laying out an outfit, doing all the things you did to feel pretty before a show.

Your phone lay beside you on the bathroom table, pinging with messages every now and then. You ignored it, leaning closer into the mirror to get a look at your lipstick, dabbing your fingers into the pigment on your lips.

You smiled, feeling that gratifying sense of achievement. Despite what was going on with your professor, you felt like you were doing well in life. You usually had a positive mindset, enjoyed your work although you sometimes felt as if you were buried deep in all your occupations: student, office worker, cam girl, designer, young woman. Your life was never dull, and you wouldn't trade it for anything. Talking to Steve helped too, but it was more than that.

But that sense of satisfaction all seemed to dissolve when you looked down at your phone, and saw a text from an unsaved number, glaring bright on your glowing lock screen of you hiking with Aaliyah. Still, you recognized it immediately.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

I miss you. Text me back.

✺ ✺ ✺

Steve wasn't exactly keen on joining your live show today, but he did so anyway, because he still had time to himself despite the spiral of events that had happened earlier. There was nothing else to do, and he didn't want to miss out on you after attending almost all of your shows for the past almost three weeks. Didn't want to just leave unexpectedly.

It felt strange that he felt this tug of commitment, but he brushed it off. He was just fulfilling his needs, which should even be expected of him. He was stressed again, after being caught up like he was. And maybe that was all the more reason not to watch your show tonight, but he wouldn't devoid himself of the simple pleasures of life. He'd learned that lesson a while ago, from a special someone called Moonrose.

After everything transpired, he explained himself calmly to his team, slowly to ensure that they'd understand that this wasn't the beginning of a deviant phase, that he wasn't throwing away his work responsibilities to lurk on the NSFW side of the internet. Not that they ever thought that to begin with, they never questioned his abilities or his authority for a minute, not even in the midst of what they'd seen that had shocked them.

This was the product of Steve's own insecurities and his admittedly silly fear that he was somehow letting his team down. He told them that he was on the site, as recommended by Tony, to relieve some "frustration" that he felt he didn't have the time or the means to release in real life. He said that while it had helped him do that, he wasn't throwing away his responsibilities, nor was he dependent on the site or the things on it, or the people on it for that matter.

He knew that if they knew about you, all those private sessions, all those conversations you'd had, the connection you had built between the two of you, it might be a different story. But because they didn't, they appreciated his honesty. They were confused, it didn't seem like the kind of thing Steve would be into, and he ensured them that it was a shock to him as well.

But they didn't mind on the whole, it was just a shock to everyone at first. They didn't think it called for a meeting, thought it was almost humorous how serious Steve was being about such a trivial situation. Wanda had joked about how we've all been there, Thor denied ever having to do such a thing because: "I have all the romantic partners anyone could ask for. I could introduce you Steve, but these Asgardian women are fiery, far beyond anything I believe you could handle." In the end, Steve was relieved, felt like it didn't have the disastrous outcome he'd been expected.

But he could feel his guard slowly coming back up. That was a close call, and it was a little too close for comfort. He didn't want to disregard you, but he couldn't afford to sink further in, and get his team involved. He just didn't want to face the consequences he could imagine if they knew how much he decided to stick with you, how much you talked, how it was teetering off the range of normal customer to cam girl interaction.

It wasn't like he was careless when it came to his interactions with you, but he also didn't want his team to know about his business when it came to you. He didn't want them thinking he was engaging too much, didn't want it to get to the point where he was worrying again or felt like he needed to deny himself such wonderful feelings.

All these things were on his mind while he waited for your live show to start. When it did, and he saw your face, he felt a little bit alleviated. Just for now, he could have this fantasy to himself. If they knew about the site, so be it. At least he had you to himself.

"Hey guys," you mustered a smile, waving to the camera.

Unbeknownst to your viewers, you had spent the past few hours off camera panicking, on the verge of tears, calling Aaliyah frantically so she could help calm you down. That text from that mysterious unknown number had been from your ex's number. The same ex who made you fall into dependency patterns that you worked so hard to get out of, the one who made you feel like you had to work for his love. Like it wasn't something you deserved, just like anyone else.

You had worked so hard to finally wring out all the effects of him, all the bad habits you had fallen into because of him. That was part of the reason why you worked so hard. Not because you were actively avoiding him specifically, but because you were actively bettering yourself. You weren't looking for a relationship. But you knew that if you were in one now, the same things would never happen to you.

When you got that text, it triggered a flood of memories. Feelings you had to work to suppress and actually get over for months so you wouldn't fall back into the same desperate, needy patterns when it came to your relationships with people. All over a simple text from someone you hadn't heard from in almost a year. It hurt you how easy it was to get you to crack, even if you didn't spill out all the way. But on top of the added stress because of school, you were damn close.

You would do the show tonight, anyway. It helped you to escape, although Moonrose was a part of you, it didn't one hundred translate into real life. So in a way, this helped you escape real life. Just for a while. Just like Steve.

You grinned when you saw concerned comments from your watchers:

johnGuy182

Are you okay, moonrose? You seem a little sad.

zenongirl

Girl r u ok? i missed seeing your face!!!

"Guys, I'm okay," you grinned. And you actually felt better seeing comments from your supporters. It reminded you to cheer up - they were looking for a good show, not a sob story. You leaned back, revealing your stomach in the sheer, sparkly fringed bra you chose to wear (another piece you had designed by yourself). "It's been a looong day."

Steve watched silently, observing your behavior. He didn't notice drastic changes, but you did appear less chipper. Then again, he brushed it off. He didn't expect you to be smiley all the time, you were human too, and this was your work.

"But I'm okay," you reassured, giving that signature grin, genuine and charming and alluring. You were trying to gently distract yourself, get into your act. "I hope you're all just as lovely as I am. I have a special game for you today."

You directed your viewers to your spinning wheel, which you had been working on crafting that week for a game. You grinned as you spinned it. Each act on the wheel cost a certain amount of tokens, and by the end of the game you would garner a bunch of funds. The show went by relatively quickly as you played the game, eventually ending up completely naked.

As ordered by the spinning wheel, you were to use a vibrator. You held it against your clit at the highest setting as you watched the numbers of viewers and the tokens jump up, Steve watching as he stroked himself leisurely. Your legs shook as you restrained yourself from your orgasm so as to increase the length of your showtime, garner more coins to encourage you to come.

"Mm," you moaned, massaging the vibrator against your clit, getting wetter and slicker by the minute, sliding the toy between your folds. You laughed, breathless. "Fuck, this thing is so powerful. Someone make me come, please make me come. Just a few more tokens for me to come for you."

Steve was hesitant, but he decided to go ahead and give you the amount of tokens you needed. And when you heard the chime of the tokens being added to your account, and saw the name it was attached to, it was like a blast of euphoria. When your legs started to shake, when you started to moan and your stomach started to rise up and down, it was genuine. It was like you were back in a private room with him, although you weren't.

Your orgasm was blood-curdling in the best way, and you felt like you were releasing part of the stress of the past day, the past week. It didn't get any realer than this, once again you felt like he was really there to satisfy you.

"Oh!" you exclaimed, your mouth dropping open and your blood flowing, moaning. "Yes, Steve, I'm coming for you. Thank you for making me come, Steve!"

Steve had been stroking himself along with you as he watched, and only let himself come now that you had come, his cheeks heating up as he heard you moan his name, something he hadn't been expected. Something about you saying his name like that where everyone could hear, even though he enjoyed the intimacy of private rooms, felt victorious. It felt lewd, salacious, but he couldn't help but enjoy that aspect of it. He moaned through grit teeth while he came, stroking himself to completion.

You came down, thanking everyone for attending and ending the show. But it wasn't long after that you had requested Steve for a private chat. He accepted, because he had gotten used to you doing this a little more frequently. It didn't scare him any more, he just thought of it as making conversation, taking advantage of this connection you had with each other. So when you requested, who was he to say no.

When the chat log opened, you put on your best happy face for Steve, trying to conceal how fatigued this week, today in particular, had made you. But your tired, bleak voice gave it all away, buried deep beneath your smile,

"Hey, Steve."

Steve was surprised at the sound of your voice. Again, while he understood that you wouldn't be a happy go lucky fairy like personality all the time, he wasn't expecting this. You were smiling, but the weariness in your eyes was hard to miss. And your voice, which usually told light hearted tales, sounded worn down as if from tragedy. He was concerned, his eyebrows furrowed gently,

"Hi. How are you?"

"I'm good!" you exclaimed, trying your hardest to really sound "good."

But you were just tired. Tired and sad, and scared - scared of what the future had to hold. You were already dealing with school stress, and the text from your ex-boyfriend was like a bad omen, an anxiety-provoking assurance that things actually would not get better and they would in fact get progressively worse. You weren't even sure why you thought you should be talking to Steve if you were tired and just wanted to sleep off the weight of the week. It would be a weekend tomorrow, and one of your very rare days off.

Maybe you figured that you wanted to talk to him despite your fatigue, because conversation with Steve was a nice distraction. You had let yourself forget that this was still your job, and that you were too tired for anything sexual — you knew he liked talking to you, but you hadn't put into consideration the fact that he might request a sexual act from you. You would be burnt out if he did. The fact that you didn't think about that should've been telling, but your brain was too scattered to think straight.

Anyway, Steve called your bluff, and laughed quietly, his voice inquiring and pressing,

"How are you really?"

That was all it took to get a deep sigh to come from out of you, all it took to allow yourself to show your true feelings, at least the surface of them, what you felt comfortable showing a customer. You felt a sense of relief and gratefulness for Steve, like he was letting you breathe. And if anything, he especially wasn't enlisted to listen to your problems. But he wanted to, and for that you felt foolishly grateful.

Steve noted the deep sigh that came from out of you, and he frowned slightly. He could tell you had been holding this in for a while, and some part of him felt remorse for the fact that even though you clearly weren't in the right mindset, you went on and did your show anyway. He felt some guilt for being a part of the reason why you did your show.

You answered, allowing your voice to be as honest as possible.

"Honestly?" you chuckled a little, albeit bitterly. "I don't know if you really want to hear me rant to you."

Steve shook his head.

"Don't be silly," he grinned. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to."

You felt a warm rush in your chest from the reassurance, and the corner of your lip quirked up in a small smile, before you decided to dive in. You'd spare the emotional details, spare your private life. But it would be nice to talk to someone, just about the general things, right?

"Well, it's been a pretty stressful week, honestly. I mean, school's been the main source of my stress. My professor's such an asshole, he's basically been telling me my entire senior project, which I need to complete to graduate, needs to be redone? And I can't even fathom how I would have enough time to do that with like, two and a half months left of my senior year. I mean, he said I can keep most details, but I'd have to rework it, whatever that means."

You kept your emotions at bay, sighing in annoyance just at the story you told, because it really was irritating you. But then you felt deeper things, even more went into why you really were upset.

Steve nodded, just listening. He was prepared to offer advice, but in your situation, he thought that maybe just letting you rant would be best.

"That's gotta be annoying," he shook his head understandingly. "Whatever your project is, I'm sure it's wonderful. He shouldn't be forcing you to rework it or make any last minute changes."

"I know!" you nearly jumped up, feeling amped up now. "And it's just so fucking annoying because I work so hard and I'm really passionate about this project and it just feels like..."

It felt like you were about to overflow, like a pot of water that had been left on for too long. You were ranting almost uncontrollably now, maybe because of the fact that it was more than this that was tugging at you. Because you'd been carrying the weight of your life on your shoulders all the time, like Atlas carrying the sky, and it felt like that weight was finally starting to mean something.

Steve could see you were unraveling and he let you, he let you take the time you needed to feel everything you had been holding. If your connection was strong, it was at its strongest here. Sure, you and Steve chatted about a little bit of everything, even had deeper conversations here and there as the weeks went by. But you had yet to genuinely complain to him, because every time you spoke with him, you were happy go lucky Moonrose, with nothing to complain about to begin with. But now, you needed a release by any means, and you were just glad Steve was there for you, even if he wasn't really there. How unlike you to unfold in front of strangers.

Your breath stuttered as you took in a deep breath in a failed attempt to calm down, only further driving yourself into your rambling. You felt yourself tear up, your voice becoming watery as you continued,

"It just feels like all my work is turning to shit, and it's so fucking frustrating because I work so hard all the time, I do so much and I manage so much all the time."

The "hard work" you were talking about wasn't just school and work-related, it pertained to your journey, and how hard you had worked to be a better person. To support yourself. The emotions pent up inside of you, they were more than just being upset over a school project. The idea of someone toxic trying to re-enter your life, someone who had forced you to rework the entirety of your life, made you feel like you were on the verge of crashing. You knew better, but you didn't want to return to those dark days, where the light at the end of the winding tunnel that was your relationship seemed so far away. It was why you were so weary of relationships today. It was crazy how one person could change your life so easily.

Now you were crying, before you even noticed that you were crying. Tears just seemed to leak out of your eyes, sloshing wet and sudden against your cheeks and underneath your lashes. You wiped them away quickly with the back of your hand, frazzled at the fact that you were crying in front of a customer right now. Steve said he'd listen to you, he didn't say he'd watch you cry and be your therapist. You instantly regretted it, although you couldn't stop yourself, tears threatening to emerge again. If you were cracked before, you were spilling now.

Steve was surprised too, at the fact that you were crying. You appeared so put together to him, it was almost something he didn't expect from you. He was in shock at first, so much so that professionalism was not on his mind - it was an afterthought. Right now, instead of wondering if this was appropriate, he was occupied with you.

"I'm sorry," you murmured, but you still hadn't stopped, tears falling out as you blinked. Composure was nothing now, you were sobbing, your shoulders slumped and your head hung as you sniffled. Still you enforced control, wiping away every tear that fell with the back of your hand. "I'm really sorry, I don't mean to cry to you over this, that's so-"

Steve cut you off, shaking his head slowly,

"It's okay to cry, doll. We all have those days. I know better than anyone that we all have those days."

You mustered a smile, feeling cared for, feeling accounted for by someone who wasn't even obligated to have to see you like this. Still you shook your head, sniffling,

"I know. But it's-it's stupid, I shouldn't be crying in front of you."

"I'm not judging you," Steve said, so nonchalantly and firmly, so genuine that it almost scared you.

You blinked. He should've cared, and he should've judged you. To cry in front of Steve, a customer, was to imply he had some duty to comfort you when he probably just wanted a show. You knew that you didn't have to do anything you didn't want to, but even you had rules when it came to what your customers got to see, and to you, that meant they didn't have to deal with your blues.

"Really?"

"Really," he reassured you with a nod.

Was Steve scared that by giving you this reassurance, this entire situation could become deeper than either of you could handle? Yes. But did he let himself shut down because of those pervasive thoughts that he might get himself into trouble? No. He didn't see you as a liability right now. Right now, even though the situation was certainly questionable (and this was something he had no doubt about. When emotions get into the mix, things could get tricky- he knew this), he saw you as someone who desperately needed someone to talk to. Maybe it wasn't smart of you to make him that someone, but regardless, he was, and who was Steve Rogers not to listen to a person in need?

You blinked away the last of your tears and swallowed hard. You were making this choice consciously, to tell Steve what had really gotten you to your breaking point. And maybe telling him meant you had trust in him, maybe too much trust for someone who, while great, was still a customer. But you felt like there was nothing you could lose from telling him. Maybe you'd even feel better after the fact.

You looked down, picking at the body glitter on your arm that you had applied before the show. Your voice was considerably quieter now perhaps because you were looking back on the moment with a clear mind for the first time since it happened. You hadn't been thinking straight ever since you received the text just hours ago. Now your brain was a little quieter with the help of your tears and Steve's reassurance.

"I think that the stress of this school project is making me resent how hard I work for everything, just to be met with this kind of result, you know? And it's even worse when... things seem to be going backwards. You know, like when you make so much progress, moving on from things that don't serve you, and you've finally done it and you get to flourish in it and then, it just gets taken away from you. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but that's just how this feels."

Steve nodded, his jaw ticking as he let your words settle in. Somehow, although your situation was so different from his, he felt like your words perfectly described how he felt with the world sometimes. It was even part of the reason he'd held off on talking to you like this, held off on getting too involved. He too had made so much progress in this world, which took so much getting adjusted to in a way that absolutely nobody else could relate to.

It was a world that he didn't even know, a world that he had never been properly introduced to. He'd had to fend for himself. He did his healing on his own, just like you had. And yet sometimes it felt like he had no control, like the universe was going the opposite way of all his plans. Then he felt stupid for even having plans to begin with, because in life, making plans was like comedy for the gods.

There was a weird feeling in his chest and stomach, like he'd been stabbed with a gutting realization, and the knife was just turning inside of him, churning his insides. He began to feel a sense of unease, because this deep conversation was beginning to feel incredibly personal. Even though you were talking about your own situation, he couldn't help but think about how much he resonated, and the fact that he felt like he could relate to you on such a deep level scared him. This was more than the conversations you'd had before, more than the simple similarities you and Steve shared. This felt like a conversation that might be too telling for his good and your own.

He swallowed his words as he listened to you continue. You chose your words carefully, but you had shed yourself of your inhibitions when it came to being truthful.

"Earlier... I heard from someone I hadn't heard from in a long time. And it kind of pushed me over the edge," out of your mouth stumbled a laugh. You were calmer now, and looked up at the camera, Steve swallowing hard when you did so. It was all so real, just like it was when you touched yourself and moaned Steve's name. "I think it just made me feel all those things I just explained. Because I feel like I worked so hard to rid myself of this person and them trying to come back just feels like all the things I worked so hard on are going to unravel. Even though I know they aren't, it feels like a setback. And that was like, the icing on the cake to this already terrible day, I guess."

You let out a breathy laugh and smiled gently, shaking your head slowly.

"I normally wouldn't be telling this to a customer. But here we are. Again, I'm sorry... I feel like I shouldn't have said anything? Should I... have said anything?"

In the brief silence that followed your question, both you and Steve were thinking the same thing - were you going to regret this? Intimacy both physically and emotionally was good when you capped it at what you both knew to be appropriate. When it came to the physical aspects, you each let your fantasies unwind.

And on the emotional aspect, though you had both grown closer and more open, some things just didn't get touched upon. But now you had just cried over the screen, and spoke from the depths of your heart. It was scary to open up in such an uncertain situation where your own privacy was an aspect that got involved. There was no doubt that it was too much. It was just a question of whether the result would be negative.

Steve sighed deeply, a crease forming in his forehead as he furrowed his brows together, folding his arms over his chest.

"I don't know..." he trailed off, took a breath, a leap, his body practically lurching forward. "But... it can't be a bad thing that you feel comfortable talking to me about this, can it?"

And there it was, that glint of hope he was trying his hardest to conceal. That feeling he got when he got off that call with you, the one where you both started giving into those unspoken thoughts. That this couldn't be so bad, that you could enjoy each other's company without worrying.

You smiled gently,

"I guess. It does feel weird though, it's not something I normally do. It feels like something I shouldn't be doing."

You could hear Steve breathing in deeply, and for a moment, you imagined what he might look like, envisioning the outline of a troubled face, eyebrows knit together. You snapped back to reality and made a face, confused by your abrupt thoughts. You had long gotten over the very brief desire to see Steve's face- why was it coming back again?

"I'll be honest, same here," Steve agreed with your sentiments.

"Do you always feel like you have to restrain what you say when you talk to people? Or is it just with me?" you added that last part in a quiet voice, biting your lip.

Steve chuckled briefly,

"Are you asking me if I have trust issues? Because I'd tell you, but I'd have to trust you to do that."

You shook your head and laughed at Steve's stupid joke, and shrugged.

"I could say the same thing, I think. This person I heard from earlier is... I developed those trust issues because of them. Or, my already existent trust issues became worse. But what's funny about it is that this person was once someone that I loved," even as the words were coming out you questioned why you were letting them, why you were allowing yourself to be so truthful in a situation like this at a time when you were so vulnerable.

Steve didn't reply, again feeling that sick feeling in his stomach that stemmed from his fear. The fear that this conversation were too serious, fear surrounding the fact that he was able to relate so much to such a personal situation of yours.

You spoke again, daring to ask the question that felt like a final blow to Steve's stomach,

"Have you ever been in love, Steve?"

Now Steve knew he was in uncharted territory. Not because he feared you might try to exploit him, but because he was so struck by the fact that he had allowed himself to feel so safe with you and get so close to you. He was surprised at himself for letting you feel safe enough to have these kinds of conversations with him. It all felt like a mistake now. He wanted a way out, any way out. He knew if he even attempted to answer that question, he would be making a big mistake. He had shared some of his most intimate moments with you, but always keeping in mind a very sharp line he didn't want to be crossed.

And in his mind, he thought of the one love he'd had, the one love that hadn't been fulfilled because of the situation he had been thrown into, one he had never signed up for. He thought of how the things he cared most for in life had been discarded, how, like you, he felt like it had gone to shit. How sometimes, though he tried his best to be grateful and had taken that journey of self-healing just like you, it all felt like some sick joke.

Could he even call it love? He wasn't sure. And he wasn't going to answer. He wasn't going to answer at all, because he wouldn't be talking to you again. There would be no chance for this dilemma to resurface, not with you, not on this site. He made the decision with haste and a heavy heart - he was done here.

The discomfort was well evident in his voice, answering loud and clear, though his voice was morose and a bit closed off. You sensed the shift immediately.

"I... I can't talk about that right now. Listen, I have to go."

You felt a pang in your chest at the sudden switch in his demeanor, straightening up and trying not to frown. All this time you had been letting the words spill out, telling yourself not to worry so much, reassuring yourself it was okay to make your feelings known. Now it felt like you should've never said anything at all. You started to stammer.

"Oh, I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I was just... I feel like I got a little overwhelmed." You laughed nervously. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Steve felt his throat ran dry as he blinked, feeling emotions come up to surface that he wasn't quite familiar with. Maybe he was grieving in advance, regretting the decision he was making to no longer speak with you, regretting the fact that he was letting fear get in the way of what he wanted so badly to be a good thing.

"No, I'm sorry. I feel like I let things go too far," Steve apologized, but the apology felt more like an insult.

Was he implying that whatever this was, you couldn't handle it, and that it was his fault for somehow leading you on? You had both made the connection with each other, it was an equal effort. And why was he acting like the two of you communicating at all was somehow below him, somehow a risk? If anything, you were the one risking it just by talking to him the way you did. You were opening up to him.

You almost felt betrayed - you had convinced yourself that he wouldn't want to listen to your problems and you told yourself it wasn't his responsibility to listen. And then he listened anyway, told you that he wanted to hear it, and you cried to him. You felt like you had made so many unusual accommodations just for him to scare off like this. He was just another person you had expressed your feelings to, only to regret it in the end.

"Too far?" you questioned, furrowing your brows.

Steve swallowed. In your voice he could hear a hint of frustration, but even worse- hurt. It pained him more than he cared for you to know.

"I don't think we should talk anymore," he said instead.

"What?" you were taken by surprise. "Steve, I'm... I'm not understanding. I... I don't usually open up to people like this, I mean, I thought maybe it was fine here, because I feel like I know you. But you're still a stranger. I understand you're a customer but I thought we were talking, I thought we broke through that wall-"

"We did. And we shouldn't have," Steve said, his voice so calm and firm that it was almost cold.

By now you were just staring into the computer camera, as if you were looking at him and waiting for him to come to his senses. But as you did that, you slowly came to your own. Because you weren't looking at him. You were looking at a black screen with his voice behind it. You realized you hadn't known Steve, not enough to talk about these things. And just like him, you too were full of regret. You kept all those walls up for the sake of customer relations, only to put them down and be met with this disastrous result.

Steve almost couldn't bare to look at your face anymore. You were confused, hurt. He could tell you regretted the fact that you had opened up. He was hurt too, but he wouldn't show it, or let it overcome him to the point where your methods of communication with each other became something neither of you could control. Still, yes, he was hurt.

But he had been through plenty of hardships in life. What was one more, even if it shouldn't have come to this point anyway?

"I'm sorry, Moonrose. We can't. Goodbye."

Chat over.

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