#I made it on the fly in 5 minutes after getting annoyed about something I have seen enough times to be frustrated about it

[scarletfasinera]

I hate when people are like "I already didn't like xyz so it's not difficult for me to boycott it unlike those loser customers that actually Liked the thing which I could never understand bc I was never a customer uwu" bc like. That literally isn't boycotting lmao. That is just Never Being A Customer In The First Place, which means nothing actually.

Boycotts are primarily about applying pressure (or completely making it impossible to operate) via financial/commercial/economic impact. AKA it's about money and capital.

If you already weren't spending money on a product/franchise/company, then you were already never part of their sales data, and you just doing nothing & making absolutely no change to your daily life and just continuing to not be part of their sales data as normal, has literally no material impact. You were already never a factor. The people who WERE customers & WERE part of the sales data & ARE withdrawing their money from those sales figures actually ARE making a material impact.

"Supporting" something isn't about vibes or thoughts or feelings or you telling your best friend how much you like a thing, "support" in a meaningful sense is specifically material. It is financial. Refusing to continue supporting something means taking the money you were previously spending on it & putting it elsewhere. If you were never spending money, you were never supporting it, and therefore it doesn't make any difference if you continue to not support it. Boycotting is something CUSTOMERS and CONSUMERS do.

SO STOP FUCKING BRAGGING ABOUT IT & STOP MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY ARE BOYCOTTING FOR "EVER LIKING XYZ TO BEGIN WITH" & STOP SPREADING THIS FALSE IDEA OF HOW BOYCOTTING WORKS LMAO sorry for capslocking I remembered I was annoyed

I just hate this low-morale mean-spirited bullshit some people do in the notifs on boycotting info posts where they arbitrarily moralize about something they just don't understand so they can pat themselves on the back for doing literally literally nothing AND inadvertently spreading misinfo in the process. Be quiet. Go do something that matters. There are plenty of posts going around, including from Palestinians themselves, with lists of references for how to help Palestine & other similar causes for people currently in crisis, please please do something For Real instead of boasting online about your fandom superiority complex as if it means anything.

[catsteeth]

The Caged Bird & The Leashed Dog

Sandor Clegane x reader

+:✿ Chapter - 9 ✿:+ Moon Tea.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-_-10

Summary: You are the daughter of Jon Arryn, you and your father travel to King's Landing with the intention of arranging a marriage for you. You catch a glimpse of The Hound during your first night in Kings Landing and it creates a mutual fascination even if he won't admit it. 

CW: MDNI, NSFW themes, VIOLENCE, misogyny, angst, forced use of a contraceptive, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, The Hound being abrasive, mention of death, blood, threats of violence, mentions of arranged marriage, 

Word Count: 3851 

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊

As the Hound lounged on the Hog farmers' stolen wagon as he ate a pig's foot. He looked over to the Stark girl who’d been peering over towards the Twins every five minutes. 

The Hound huffed, “It’s not going anywhere.” He said as he took a large bite of a pig's foot.

“I know that,” Arya said, almost as if she were offended, still not taking her eyes away from the Twins.

“You keep looking back at it… like you’re afraid of it’s going to disappear.” He said going back to chewing on the fatty meat of the pigs feet.

“I’m not afraid.” She said, turning her pointed and angry attention towards him.

He leaned forward, his eyes narrowing, a knowing smirk slightly appearing. “Yes you are, I know the look. I’ve seen it a lot. The closer you get the worse the fear gets.” He spoke almost from experience.

Arya turned to face him completely, her eyes hateful “I know what you’re afraid of… You’re afraid of fire.” She stepped closer, “And I know why too, your brother pressed your face to the fire like it was a nice juicy mutton chop.” She smiled slightly, mockingly.

The hounds' cold demeanor buckled from under him. “Your cousin tell you that?” 

“She never talked about you.” Her brows furrowed, confused by the question. His predisposed feelings of betrayal went away.

He shrugged, going back to the pigs feet in his hand, “That give you some ideas?” He asked in a gruff tone.

She turned away from him, “Might do.” she said stoically. 

He scoffed, “Go ahead then. You might even make it there on your own. It’s just over the river. Closest you’ve been to family since Illyne Payne snipped your daddy’s neck.” He said mockingly, his best way of deflecting any kind of pain.

Arya turned back to him, stepping closer. “Someday I’m going to put a sword through your eye and out the back of your skull.” Her eyes emotionless, her voice cold.

The sudden, abrupt, and seemingly not empty threat made him halt his chewing. He stared at the girl with eyes of shock. 

He could see you in this girl somewhat. Stubborn and willful. But with this one it was more annoying, and less forgiving of his shit attitude. 

He huffed, and went back to eating as the girl went back to staring at the river that divided them and her family.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

You hadn’t seen or spoken to Petyr about the killing of your aunt. 

That morning you felt sick, sicker than usual. 

You had grown to appreciate the gesture of murdering someone who posed a threat to you. But with him it didn’t feel as unconditional as when your dog did it. When he did it, he did not want something in return. He did it because he wanted- no he needed you safe. With Petyr it felt as though it was something he would use, a new string tying to a limb of a puppet. 

You spent most of your time avoiding him, in the high tower where the falconers keep their birds.

There were less birds than when you left. But your favorite was still there, Lenarea. The one your mother gave you.

“A hawk, a beautiful creature isn’t she? “ Your mother said, as she pointed to the flying creature, soaring above you.

“Yes, she is.” You said, somewhat disinterested, staring off at the falconers who were teaching their birds to hunt.

“A hawk is a forgiving animal. You could make mistake after mistake and she’d forgive you at the end of each day because she knows you’ve chicken feet in your pocket.” Your mother said, petting your hair. “A falcon however, doesn’t forgive so easily. She remembers what you did. and she’s not keen on letting you forget either. No matter how many chicken feet you try to shove at her.” She said as she poked at your nose, making you giggle. “So, what bird should you start with?”

“A hawk, but I want a falcon.” You said with no second guessing, you always knew what you wanted.

“You’ll have many birds, sweet dove. But your first should be one of a forgiving nature.”

“I won’t make a mistake.”

Your mother giggled, “You are a stubborn thing aren’t you? Alright then.” She said, just as she began to lead you to the high tower you were in now. There was a beautiful falcon whose chicks had just hatched. You pointed to the one you wanted.

As she placed the babe within your palms you caressed it, feeling its warmth as it chirped in your hands. Her feathers still fluffy, sparse, and white.

“Lenarea.” You named her quietly. 

The memory soon faded from your mind. 

Memory is merciless, ruthless. And this white prison evoked so much of it.

You put on that thick leather gauntlet, and you took Lenarea out of her cage. Her black eyes examined you fondly. You smiled at her. Until you saw the reflection of a short pale black haired sickly looking boy in her glassy eyes. 

“Sister,” He said, his voice shaky. 

“Hello Robin.” You said, turning to face him, “I am sorry about your mother. I was only a little older than you are now when mine died.” You said, you weren’t sorry for her, but for him. 

“You hated mother,” He said, slightly confused. 

“Even still, you shouldn’t feel pain. Too young for such pain.” You said, petting Lenarea’s shining feathers with your finger.

“My mother said, when you marry the baby man and I get old enough, I'll be lord of the vale.” He said childishly, 

“I didn’t marry Lord Tyrion. I won’t be marrying him… ever.” You spoke to him with an intensity you wouldn’t normally speak to a child with. 

“So, what will that mean?” He was confused, uncertain, as he was with most things now.

“Robin, you and I share blood. That means a great deal to me.” It did, somewhat… “I know you don’t care about what i am going to say but it would be wise for you to listen to it and remember it. I was born with this land as a promise. I was born with the titles of Lady of the Eyrie, Warden of the East, Defender of the Vale, Keeper of the Moon Door, and Head of House Arryn. I was born to it. And at certain moments of my life I would have given it to you. But I made a promise to my own mother. To keep this house safe.” It was somewhat a threat, but not quite. 

“My mother said-” He began as Lenarea let out a short but sharp and shrill chirp.

 “Your mother did not understand me well. I hope you do.”  You said coldly, not proudly. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

As Sandor rode the cart up to the entrance of the Frey’s gates. The men surrounding drinked and shouted, He stopped a man walking passed.

“You, have the Starks arrived?” He asked gruffly, Arya looked at the man with hopeful eyes

“Oh yes they have,” The drunken man said, smirking and letting out a devious chuckle. The man began to walk passed when Sandor reached out and grabbed the man by the arm stopping him. 

“What of any Arryns?” He asked, a bit more gruff than the last question. Arya raised a brow at the question.

The man looked at the Hound's hand on his arm, surprised by how large it was “No Arryns here, big fellow.” The drunk man said with a hiccup as the Hound let him go.

He rode on, further up to the gate's entrance. He and Arya were stopped by the Frey’s guardsmen.

“Hog meat for the feast.” The Hound said, tilting his head towards the cart behind him.

“Feasts over.” The Guard said,

Hound looked over to the men singing and celebrating, “Doesn’t sound over.” He said looking back 

“It’s over when I say it is.” The man said gripping onto his swords handle, 

The Hound huffed and looked back at Arya only to see she was gone. 

By the time the Hound was able to abandon the cart, and finish unhitching Stranger from it the loudness of the bannermen grew.

It wasn’t celebratory, no this was victorious, and brutal. A battle, he knew it well. 

His thoughts immediately went to you, but satisfied with that drunk man's answer to his question earlier his mind went to Arya. 

He couldn’t let her die, not when he knew how much she’d meant to you. Also the money. And he could try to deny he didn’t care for her even a bit but he did… only a bit. 

As he hit the guards man hard, partially to move him out of the way and partially for his tone earlier. 

Once inside he saw Arya, about to run into the wedding, as if the little girl could do anything. 

“It’s too late.” The Hound said harshly, grabbing the girl by her shoulder. 

Arya tried once more to run inside, unwilling to let her take her chances in a room full of savage, drunk, stark hating men, he hit her. Hard enough to knock her unconscious. He picked the girl up, tossing her over his shoulder and carried her to Stranger. 

The Hound grabbed the Freys Banner as he rode on, to better disguise him and the girl he carried. Soon the banner men’s war cries rang out throughout the courtyard, Sandor held the unconscious girl close to his chest. The cries grew louder and louder, until a crowd emerged from the Freys gates. As Sandor looked closer at what they were dragging out behind them he felt something he didn’t often feel.

Disgust.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

As your dreaming ended, you opened your eyes as a cloud passed your window bringing the sun, filling your room in its warm light. Its warmth cutting through the cold air of the mountains. 

It shined in your eyes, you winced as you stretched your limbs and breathed in deeply. 

You averted your eyes from the sun, directing them towards the dagger Sandor gave you. You kept it on a small table by your bed. Now that your bruises were beginning to fade it was the becoming the only thing you had to remind you of him aside for the memories that haunted your dreams. 

You reached over and grabbed it. You held it in your hand, the handle had a weight to it. You ran your fingertip over the engravings on the handle. You kissed the tip of it, the way you would have if it were his cock.

You closed your eyes, and imagined as if it were. You imagined his groans that he’d let out. Deep and low, so low it’d rattle in his chest. And you imagined his teeth biting down on your sides, on your breasts, your neck. 

You ran your fingers down to your cunt. You played with your clit the way he did, circling and rubbing your clit. You used two fingers, which was almost the equivalent of one of his. 

You remembered the way his hands would grasp your thighs when he pushed inside you. How the heat felt pouring out of him and into you. You pressed two fingers inside you, using your palm to tease your clit. It was not nearly as satisfying or fulfilling as his cock but it was enough for now. You began to moan out, breathlessly. Wanting nothing more than to feel his hot breath against your neck, his beard against your skin. His tongue in your cunt. 

You were closing in on your high, when suddenly-

“My lady-” Ser Cole said as he opened your chamber door, He saw you, with your hand in your small clothes. He turned his body away instantly, “My apologies.” He blurted out

You reasonably startled, removed your hand, sat up in your bed and covered yourself with your blanket, “Men should not sneak into a ladies' chambers!” You spat at him.

Still not looking at you, “Of course not, please, I beg you to forgive my rudeness. It is only I’ve a message of critical urgency.” 

“Then tell it quickly!” You said, furious. Sandor would have taken this man's eyes, maybe hanged him by his guts as he liked to threaten often. 

He began to turn back towards you, “Your aunt, Catelyn, and your cousin Robb. They were murdered last night.” His voice sorrowful

“What?” You asked softly, in disbelief.

His eyes finally fell on you, cautiously, “The Frey’s massacred them at the wedding of your Uncle.” He looked at you, waiting for a response “My Lady?”

“Leave me.” You said, stoically. 

“My lady” He began

“I said leave me!” You commanded, and finally he left. 

Alone, alone in your room, and alone in this world now finally. The last remaining bit of your family that weren’t political hostages were murdered. And your one chance at regaining your birthrights without an arranged marriage along with them.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

Later that morning, you hadn’t washed, or changed. You found little point in it. 

You began to walk down the marble steps of the Eyrie as Ser Cole stopped you, grabbing your arm and pulling you away from the stairs.  

Assuming he was going to beg for forgiveness for catching you with your fingers in your cunt you pushed away with a huff, “Please, I do not need any more apologies-” You began before he pulled you into a hallway and covered your mouth with his hand. You began to struggle when you heard a familiar voice coming from the throne room. 

“My condolences. Lady Lysa was a woman of strong character.” Tyrion said, you could tell it was disingenuous. Your heart dropped to your stomach, and you felt yourself tense. Your eyes went wide, as Ser Cole pulled his hand away from your mouth. 

“She was. My own condolences of your own lady.” Petyr said in response. You listened intensely. 

“condolences are not needed.” Tyrion said, offendedly. 

“Of course,” Petyr said, pretending to be sympathetic. 

“She's not been found, is all.” Tyrion said, uncomfortably. 

“It has been many nights.” Petyr began “You’re a smart man, you are aware of the terrible things that happen inside castle walls. Half her family was killed within them. Your walls and the Frey’s. And you know the kind of world that lies outside of castle walls. You know the terrible things that could happen to a girl-” 

“(Y/N) Arryn is a woman of great intelligence, strong will, and a clever nature. I believe she’s alive, taken, but alive.” Tyrion stated, with confidence. The same confidence he always had.

“Another theory.” Petyr said, as if he were tired of hearing his constant wailing about you.

“She’s my betrothed. It is my duty to see to it that she is safe.” hearing him say those words made you feel sick. Or at least you thought it was those words that did it.

“It hasn’t crossed your mind she’s fled. Escaped upon her own free will?” Petyr said, why would he say that? You thought. 

“It only crossed it for a moment. I’d be a fool not to consider it, but I would be a fool to consider it longer than a moment. She’s no reason to want to flee.” Tyrion was sweet to be so unaware of how disloyal you were to him.

“She didn’t?”

“She doesn’t.” 

“Betrothed to the least desirable Lannister. A man accused of murdering her father-“

“Ah yes, and thank you for informing her of that.”

“You’d have rather kept her blinded to the truth?”

“There was no truth to the accusations. Only thing to come from such knowledge would be pain.” Tyrion stopped himself, taking a breath and reminding himself of what he came to the Eyrie for, “I want to ally our forces, The Knights of the Vale should be searching for her. She is their Lady-“ 

“They are looking for her. You act as though we want her gone.” Petyr acted like he was offended.

“You don’t? It would be convenient.” Tyrion's tone was pointed. 

“I love my niece,” Petyr said and you felt vomit begin to rise in your throat.

“We all know that. You ceaselessly reminded her father of your affections when he rejected your proposals.” 

“This is not about me, or you. I am willing to join our forces with one another. Though I believe it is wise for the both of us to anticipate… disappointment.”  He talked about you like you were dead. It calmed you somewhat, “It has been how many days since she was seen alive?”  

“I say that Dog took her.” A man's voice said, and you recognized it, the cut throat that Tyrion paid as his own bodyguard. Your body tensed, and you felt a wave of heat crash against you. 

“Enough,” Tyrion said, tired of his words, as if he’d heard this theory before.

“I mean really, am I the only person with two eyes who could see how cunt struck that bloody dog was?” The cut throat said, it made the vomit rise even higher. You pressed two fingers to your lips to keep them shut.

“I said enough.” 

“A theory you don’t like?” Petyr questioned. 

“A theory not worth considering. It is blood and ash in my mouth. There is no reason for her to have left with him, no reason for her to have left me willingly.” Tyrion tried so hard to defend what he thought was your love for him. You felt the guilt in your stomach mix with the nausea.

“I’m not saying she went with the fucker smiling. Can’t imagine any lass especially one like her going with a man like that. That fucker never cared if anyone but the king lived or died. But the fucker went against his own king to save that girl from the riots.” The cut throat’s words only pushed you to gag slightly. You covered your mouth with your hand fully.  

“There is a bounty on his head and people looking for him. But we are here to discuss (Y/N), finding her.” Tyrion said as a final and swift effort to shut the man up. 

“We will ally our efforts to seek her out. They will work in tandem under the one objective of finding her.” Petyr said 

With your hand covering your mouth you pushed Ser Cole away with your other hand, walking passed him. Lightly, making sure not to make a sound as you rushed towards the privy as you vomited.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

You hadn’t left your chamber all day. That night Petyr came in. He had a tray of dinner for you. And a tea. 

“You’ve not dressed at all?” Petyr asked, concerned. You looked back at him with tear stained cheeks and annoyed eyes. “I am sorry. What the Frey have done…” 

“I don’t wish to discuss it.” You said looking over at the food on the tray. You pulled it towards you and began to eat. Your stomach was empty from the sickness earlier. 

“I believe we’ve matters of importance to discuss.” Petyr said softly as he watched you eat. 

“The killing of my aunt?” You asked sardonically.

“Your aunt had made some worrying allegations against you, my dearest one. And the cut throat that accompanied your betrothed raised an interesting theory.” His eyes were filled with concern.

“You believe them?” You asked stoically

“I don’t know. That’s why I am bringing them to you. For your answers. I could bring you to a Maester and have you checked, but I don’t wish that for you. Nor can we afford the risk of any more people knowing you are here.” 

“Lord Tyrion did not touch me. I’ve said it already-“ You began, sneeringly.

“I am not concerned with Lord Tyrion.” Petyr said, it made all the words you’d planned vanish. “Ser Cole might have found you alone but that doesn’t mean you were. It would take a great deal of protection to make it that far on your own.” His accusations were heavy but his voice was nurturing.

“I am intact.” You spoke like a mouse.

“Even still, I’ve prepared a tea… or rather a maester has upon my command.” He picked up the chalice and handed it to you.

“Tea?” You smelt it, it smelt bitter and ugly. 

“Only to be sure. It will rid you of any unwanted consequences.” Petyr said as he petted your hair, it reminded you of your mothers touch, your eyes stayed on the tea and away from him. You pretended that it was. 

“Moon tea. I know it.” You said, nodding. Your voice was raspy. 

“If you are intact, as you say you are, there will be no effect. However, if you are not, and if you are with child, it shall save you the shame.” He continued to pet your hair,

“You don’t believe me?” You still didn’t look at him. You sniffled, your face heating up, eyes watering. 

“It doesn’t matter what I believe, or what you say. What matters is that you drink this.” 

You felt tears coming, you knew that feeling well… sorrow. “Will it hurt?” You felt submissive, that was new. Even when you had no power you knew a way to find your own power. But not here. 

“Drink it, my dear.” He commanded softly. 

“As you command it.” You said as you drank it. All of it, within one gulp. It was revolting. 

“You are not as good of a liar as you might think, my dear.” Petyr said, he pulled you into a hug, you closed your eyes and pretended it was your mother, and hugged back. “Do not lie to me again, there is no need for it. I am your only ally now.” He threatened you sweetly, and softly. You hated that he was right.

He left you.

You thought about what Sandor would do. You thought about that often but right now you really wanted him. Not for his violence, but you wanted his touch. His arms around you. You wanted him to hold you. 

But you didn’t have him, so you held onto your stomach, feeling the possibility of what could be slip away. You’d not know for certain if you were, or were not with child but now it was certain you were not. You day dreamed so often of what could have been. But now no more. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

Sandor had seen every kind of brutalization. There was little that ever shocked him, even littler things sickened him. But what he saw that night truly did. 

The Frey’s are animals… 

It was early morning as Sandor sat beside a dying fire with the Stark girl still sleeping, his thoughts only turned to you. 

Where the fuck were you?

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

NOTE:

Hey all you cool cats and kittens, 

I’m sorry that this chapter took so long (again lol), but I aced my finals! 

Also I wanted to tease that these two are probably going to be crossing paths again soon…

K love you, xoxo

Bambi

Beloved Tags:  @dontfollowjuststuff  @helpmeescapethisreality  @merfic @broadsdrinkwhisky @the-queen-of-sorrows  @eddiesbongwater @not-neverland06  @symonedoesart @wyvernnest @bdudette @frosch-thefrog @patrick-hockstutter @drymushroomfics

[chaotic-orphan]

Delirious Villain x Hero Caretaker (5)

Read part one here // Continued from here

Heed the TW (and mind yourselves please <3):

TW: emotional abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, vomiting, forced vomiting, violence, elements of psychosis, psychosis episode-like symptoms, vulnerable whumpee, intimate whumper, older brother whumper, young sibling whumpee, gaslighting, manipulation, sick whump, sickness whump, illness whump, reuniting with whumper, PTSD, facing whumper who gave PTSD, bad family relationships,

~*~*~*~*~*~

Villain eyed Superhero wearily. Despite all their training, all their progress, Superhero had a height and weight advantage over Villain. His broad shoulders stood proud, supporting his stupid head, with his smirk that made Villain’s stomach crawl. They needed to get out of here, to get help.

They wouldn’t make it to the door in the condition they were in, so that was out of the question. His eyes flicked to the couch where he was asleep not a few minutes ago, which felt like a lifetime now. He couldn’t see his phone. He needed to call Hero, but maybe it was tangled in the blankets?

“I can see the cogs turning, Vil,” Superhero said with a happy sigh. “If you’re hoping that your precious Hero comes to save you in time, don’t. They’re too busy saving someone worth saving.”

“Shut up!” Villain growled, pushing at Superhero’s chest with their free hand. “Get off of me!”

Superhero chuckled, tsking and shaking his head at Villain’s outburst. Villain’s heart didn’t forget to beat after that, the guilt at his Brother’s disappointment didn’t still affect him. It didn’t.

“Where are your manners, Vil? Jeez, does Hero just let you run wild? That must be so annoying for them.”

“Hero loves me.”

Superhero leaned in, dark eyes glittering with malice. “Oh yeah? Then why aren’t they here looking after you?”

Villain’s face scrunched up. “Because you sent them away!”

“Or are they just so tired with you that they had to get out of the house for a while. It seems like the latter to me. God, I remember how annoying you were. Nobody, not even Hero has enough patience to handle you.”

“Hero loves me,” Villain said again, this time a little quieter.

“No. They don’t. They probably just feel sorry for you and how pathetic you are. Like a wounded baby bird whose wings are too weak to make it fly.”

“My life doesn’t concern you anymore! You don’t have to interact with me on a daily basis! Please let me go. Please, Brother, please.”

Superhero pressed a finger to his lips. “Shush. No begging yet, Vil. It’s unbecoming.”

Without warning, Superhero yanked Villain off the wall and was about to throw him to the floor when the pair froze. Villain’s ringtone played mutely from the bedroom. Villain’s eyes widened.

Hero.

Superhero recovered quicker than Villain, a cruel grin on his face as he started dragging Villain towards the bedroom. He got a hand on the back of Villain’s neck and shoved him down so Villain had to walk awkwardly bent over. Superhero opened the door to the bedroom and saw the phone lighting up on the bed.

He threw Villain to the ground beside the bed, laughing as Villain stumbled before he hit the floor with a groan, grabbing Villain’s phone off the bed.

“Aww, Vil. It’s Hero. Probably calling you to tell you that they’re leaving you.”

“Shut up,” Villain hissed, rubbing their hip that took the brunt of the impact.

Superhero turned Villain’s phone to Villain so they could see the picture of Hero laughing, ice-cream in hand, a dollop of mint chocolate chip on the tip of their nose.

“Cute,” Superhero said with a scoff, then put his finger in his mouth and mimed vomiting. Superhero waited for Hero to hang up before scrolling through Villain’s phone. Superhero raised their brows, glancing at Villain over the phone. “You seriously don’t have a passcode or something?”

“Don’t need it.”

Superhero scoffed, turning his attention back to the phone. Villain moved to get to their feet when Superhero’s stare snapped to them. “Don’t move or I’ll kill Hero.”

That froze Villain in their movements, their heart hitching at Superhero’s easy threat. Superhero didn’t seem too bothered by it and soon his face split into a wide smile.

“Aww, look Vil. Hero text: Superhero,” Superhero paused, grinning down at Villain pointing to himself. “That’s me.” Then went back to reading. “Superhero said that he was short staffed, and sent me to West-point so I will be home later than usual. Sorry for leaving you again, there’s soup in the freezer if you feel up to it. I love you. xx.”

Villain tightened their hands into fists by their sides, clenching their jaw against every word that Superhero read. Hero was going to be home later than normal? West-point, that was at least an hour by metro from here and who knows when they’d get home… especially because—

Villain raised their gaze to Superhero who was grinning above them. “You weren’t short-staffed, were you?”

“Of course not,” Superhero said with a smirk. “I just had to get Hero away from you for a while. Hell, even Other Hero and Sidekick should’ve gone to central hospital but I asked for them to be transferred to West-point so we could have some long overdue family time.”

Superhero tapped on Villain’s phone a little longer and grinned after locking the screen, pocketing the phone in his back-pocket. “Just in case you get any ideas.”

Villain glared at him from the ground, a sudden overwhelming helplessness returning to him that he hadn’t felt since he was a kid. Since he moved out of his family home. Now it came back with a viciousness that threatened to drown him and left him clawing against it just to keep his head above the water and his breathing even.

“Now,” Superhero said, inspecting Villain with his piercing gaze. “What to do with you.”

“Just leave,” Villain tried. “Please. I don’t— I’m not apart of your life anymore. You don’t— you don’t have to do this.”

“Vil, Vil, Vil,” Superhero sighed walking towards Villain. “Family doesn’t quit on each other. They never give up on you. I know I don’t have to try and fix you, the truth is I never did. I just wanted what was best for you.”

“Yeah right! You just wanted what was best for you! Can’t have your little brother embarrass you in public!”

Superhero, to Villain’s surprise, softened at that. Villain didn’t trust it for a second.

“You’re right,” Superhero said with a breath. “I was so worried about what kind of shame or embarrassment you would bring on me. I didn’t want people associating failure with us.”

Superhero crouched in front of Villain, tilting his head to the side. A strange smile on his lips, that Villain couldn’t quite discern. It looked whimsical and yet sad, wait— was that a genuine smile? No. It couldn’t be.

“It’s because I saw our potential, Villain,” Superhero said with a scoff. “Y’know, it’s stupid, but when I worked so hard to be Superhero, to become the best and bring prestige to our family name… well, I pushed you hard too because I always imagined that it would be something that we’d do together. Something we’d achieve together. The best brother Superhero duo in history.”

Villain’s heart cracked a little, a swarm of guilt spilling out like a leak in a dam, constricting his chest. Villain longed to reach out, to close the distance between them to apologise for not being able to live up to Superhero’s expectations.

To tell him that Villain tried. He really fucking tried, but Superhero was always stronger, faster, better than he was and he couldn’t be the same.

He didn’t though. He tightened his hands into fists and stared at Superhero who looked six feet deep in fond memories and regrets.

“I’m sorry, Vil.”

It felt as if time stopped. As if the Earth stopped turning, and the world stood frozen. The moment right before a car crash, or something inevitable happening; the cusp that hides between moments like a trapdoor spider, waiting until you lowered your guard before attacking and killing you.

Villain’s voice was a whisper: “what?”

Superhero swallowed, forcing himself to meet Villain’s gaze. “I’m sorry, Villain.”

There was no joke or humour in Superhero’s face as he said that, again. Apologised? Again! But— but— Villain’s brain was fried from their flu because this must be another trick? Another hallucination. Superhero being sorry for something? Feeling remorse?

“I’m sorry about what happened on the outside, how people perceived us, what you said and did outside the house that I didn’t even think about how it all must’ve effected you. I’m sorry that I wasted all that time trying to correct your behaviour outside the house when really,” Superhero’s hand shot out like a viper to grab Villain by the throat, slamming him back against the wall. “Really I should’ve focused more on your manners and knowing your fucking place.”

Superhero stood, bringing Villain with him and threw him across the room. Villain tried to catch themselves before their face hit the wall by throwing their hands out, but they landed awkwardly on their wrist and the pain ricocheted down their arm. Villain hissed, retracting their arm but they didn’t have time to react before a hand was in their hair and bashing their skull against the wall.

Once. Twice. Three times.

Villain went dumb from the impact, their brain struggling to comprehend what was happening, but the pain. They felt the pain spread like wildfire through their skull.

The hand in their hair tightened and Villain cried out as they were dragged across the bedroom, back towards the kitchen. They tried to gain purchase on the ground with their knees, but Superhero was moving too fast for them to keep up.

Superhero paused two feet from the doorway. Villain didn’t know why, they just slumped to the ground like a dog in shade during a heatwave. They just needed to catch their breath. Or pass out. Either was a good option.

Superhero didn’t seem to think so. He lifted his hand suddenly, dragging Villain’s head up to look Villain in the eye. Villain hissed, hands clawing at the strong grip on his hair. Superhero grabbed Villain by the throat, slamming his head back into the wall.

Villain groaned at the impact, moving his hands to try and dislodge Superhero’s hand from his throat. “God. You really are pathetic, aren’t you? Did I not teach you anything?”

Superhero stepped back, dropping all contact from Villain who struggled not to slump down the wall to the floor.

Superhero took two steps back, running a hand down his face, pinning Villain to the wall with a harsh glare. Villain’s entire body was trembling at them, struggling to keep themselves up in case they needed to bolt. But Superhero’s eyes caught every tremor, every flinch or wince.

“You’re still fucking ruining everything. It’s all you ever do, isn’t it?”

“Fuck off.”

“You really don’t know, do you? You make people weak, Villain.” Villain froze at the emotion colouring Superhero’s voice. “You make people weak, because they feel like they need to look after you, or take care of you. For fuck’s sake, you can barely stand by your-fucking-self! You needed Hero to take days off of work to mind you while you were sick, like some fucking child! Do you know how embarrassing that is!”

“My life doesn’t concern you anymore,” Villain spat, tears pinpricking their eyes.

Superhero scoffed. “Doesn’t concern me?”

Superhero studied Villain’s face, the wince after Superhero spoke. Then recognition flashed on his face, putting two and two together.

“You didn’t tell Hero that we’re related,” Superhero said, tilting his head to the side, a smile gracing his lips at Villain’s silence. “Oh that is… that is hilarious. The person you love the most? You’re keeping secrets from them?”

“We are not related,” Villain said, their voice coming out stronger than they felt in that moment. “You are nothing to me. I left you and Mom, and Dad. I left. I made a life for myself, a life where I’m loved by somebody. Why can’t you be happy for me?”

“What, you think Hero actually loves you?”

Villain flinched at the words. “Oh you do, don’t you?” Superhero cooed, walking towards Villain again and grabbing their face in his hands. “Oh. You poor fucking idiot. You have no idea how much Hero hates you, do you?”

Villain’s eyes glistened with tears. Superhero slammed Villain’s head back into the wall.

“Do you?”

“Just leave… leave me alone,” Villain begged, tears finally spilling over his eyes. “Please.”

Villain’s hand reached up and curled his fingers around Superhero’s wrist, weakly tugging at it.

“I can make them love you again,” Superhero whispered. “I know how. I can make you worth something in their eyes, isn’t that what you want?”

Villain sniffled, nodding. Superhero cooed, brushing the sweaty hair back from Villain’s face. “I know. I know you’re scared, but big bro’s here now, hmmm? Come on.”

Superhero pulled Villain away from the wall gently, taking Villain’s wrist in his hand. “Come on.”

“Where are we—” Villain asked, their voice hitching, wiping away their tears with the sleeve of their shirt. “Where’re we going?”

Villain’s mind only registered they were walking towards the bathroom when Superhero opened the door. Then they started pulling against Superhero’s hold.

“No! No, no, no, no, no!” Villain cried, going limp and yanking backwards. Superhero dropped Villain, cursing at them for the sudden weight. Villain took the opportunity to roll onto their stomach, pushing themselves to their hands and knees and rushing forwards. They threw themselves to their feet, stumbling slightly, almost rolling on their ankles but they were standing. They bolted for the door to the bedroom, slamming their shoulder into the doorframe as they propelled themselves out and towards the front door.

A hand caught the back of their shirt and Villain cried out. They were yanked backwards, their head slamming off the doorframe to the bedroom. Villain fell like a sack of bricks and Superhero let them.

Villain blinked up bleary-eyed at the ceiling, the world swimming in a whirlwind of colour. Two Superhero’s appeared above Villain, shaking their heads, as if they were disappointed parents looking down on an unruly child.

“Look at what you did,” Superhero said, the words coming in and out of focus like pulses. He leaned down, crouched above Villain. Then a hand passed over his face and Villain’s head whipped to the side. They whimpered. “Ah. There you are,” Superhero said, only one of him now. “Still with me, Vil.”

Another slap and Villain whimpered, weakly pushing their hand against Superhero’s. Superhero easily batted it away, opting to instead pinch Villain’s cheeks between their thumb and forefinger and dig their fingers in until Villain’s mouth formed an O and they cried out.

“Listen runt, I didn’t want to hurt you! Don’t you see? I’m trying to help you. You’ve clearly let yourself go since the last time I saw you, and nobody, not even Saint Hero will love you if you’re fat and disgusting. You want to be worth Hero’s love, don’t you?”

Tears welled behind Villain’s eyes and they tried to turn their head away, not wanting to face Superhero and the truth in his words. Superhero didn’t even let Villain flinch in any direction before his grip tightened.

“Don’t you want to be someone worthy of love?” Superhero asked, his voice imperceptibly soft. Villain let out a pathetic yes, their voice muffled by Superhero’s hold on their face. Superhero’s features smoothed out and he nodded sympathetically. “I know. Come on, let’s get you up. I’m just trying to help you be worthy of Hero.”

Superhero helped Villain to sit up, openly crying now. Superhero nodded his head compassionately. “I know. I know. Shh. It’s okay. Big bro’s here now. He’s going to make everything better. Ssh. Don’t worry. Come on, runt.”

Superhero helped the wailing Villain to their feet, guiding them towards the bathroom again. Villain, resigned, followed along because they didn’t want to get hit again. They didn’t want to try and fight back and get beaten again. They didn’t want to be ugly for Hero, they wanted to be worthy of them. Hero was brilliant, perfect, why would they settle for anything less than that? God, Superhero was right.

Superhero gently pushes Villain to their knees, and tells them to: “open up.”

Villain felt the familiar fear creep back up their spine, making their hair stand on end. They shook their head, making to stand up but Superhero kept a hand on Villain’s shoulder, keeping them in place.

“Come on. You said you wanted to be worthy of Hero, right?”

Villain deflated. A part of them wanted to be perfect, to listen to Superhero and just give in, save themselves the pain. The other part was screaming at them, telling them they were worth more than this. That they hated this, and that Hero loved them no matter what. Strangely the voice telling them to fight sounded an awful lot like Hero’s.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to do anything. I’ll do it all, remember?” Superhero coaxed, his fingers tracing Villain’s jaw and resting at their bottom lip. “Come on, Villain.”

Villain didn’t protest, but they didn’t fight Superhero either, so when his fingers pushed past Villain’s lips, Villain didn’t move. Only when they went far, hitting Villain’s gag reflex did Villain start fighting him.

They shot up from their knees on instinct, but Superhero’s hold kept them down, his other hand going to the back or Villain’s hair and pulling it, yanking their head back so he could shove his fingers down further.

Villain whined, shaking their head. They didn’t want this, they didn’t want this! Villain felt bile climbing his throat and he jerked forward, but Superhero didn’t move his fingers and they hit the back of Villain’s tongue. Villain felt the warmth climbing his throat, gripping the toilet seat and ready to vomit.

Superhero pulled his fingers out at the last second, and Villain heaved. It was only bile that came out, green-hued see through slime, because Villain hadn’t eaten in days.

Superhero clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Hmm. That won’t do. We’ll go again.”

Before Villain could protest, Superhero’s fingers were in his mouth again, unmerciful as they shot to the back of Villain’s throat. Villain grabbed Superhero’s wrist, pulling his fingers out. “Don’t fight me, Vil. We agreed.”

Superhero’s fingers hit Villain’s throat again, and they felt the muscles in their neck contracting as another wave of nausea hit them. Panicking and wanting Superhero to just let them go, Villain clamped their jaw around Superhero’s hand.

Superhero yelped, then roared and yanked their hand out of Villain’s jaw. “I’m—” Villain gasped, but Superhero cut them off with a punch to the face. Villain’s head veered down, hitting off the edge of the ceramic toilet bowl with a dull thump.

A hand in their hair and their head was wrenched back. Superhero’s fist flashed in the corner of their eye, and struck the same place in their jaw, keeping them straight.

“I thought we agreed that I—” punch. “Know” punch. “Better.” A sharp slap deafened Villain as Superhero released them again, their head snapping to the side. “I don’t want to hurt you, but you force me to, Vil. I hate to see you like this, but as your older brother I’ll do what I have to do, to make you a better person.”

A sharp kick to the stomach, once, twice, three times and Villain lurched forward, crying out and swallowing hard to keep the rush of liquid crawling like a tidal wave up their throat. Superhero grabbed Villain by the throat. Leaning his face in closer to them.

“Come on, Vil,” Superhero said sweetly. “You want to look your best for Hero, don't you? You want to deserve them, right?”

“Pl—please,” Villain stammered, choking on Superhero’s tight grip. “Just lemme— go.”

“Stop fighting me, runt, I'm just trying to look out for you.”

Superhero pinched Villain’s jaw between his thumb and index finger, his nails digging into their cheeks, drawing blood, and forcing their mouth open. His fingers found the back of Villain’s throat, pressing down on Villain’s gag reflex.

Villain felt the muscles in his throat tighten, the bile burning acidic up their throat and they lunged forward, Superhero withdrew his hand from Villain’s mouth, but kept pinching their cheeks so Villain couldn’t swallow. Only when he was satisfied that Villain was about to hurl did he let go, grinning down as Villain spewed into the toilet.

A lot more than last time, their stomach ached as they vomited. A momentary pause and then another bout reared its head and tears streamed down their face, sobbing as they let the feeling run its course out of them.

Superhero patted Villain’s hair like a dog. “Good, see. You did so good.”

“What are you doing?”

Villain froze at the voice. Superhero’s hand stopped rubbing Villain’s hair, but he didn’t remove it from Villain’s head. Hero rushed in, going to Villain’s side and get grabbing their face in their hands, thumbing away the tears.

“Villain, shhh. Shhh, it’s okay.” Hero cooed. Villain sobbed against Hero’s hands, the gentle touches. They weren’t worthy of this kindness. They didn’t deserve Hero’s caring love. This was pity. They pitied Villain, that’s why they looked so caring in that moment. Not out of love. Why was Villain so weak to melt at the kindness, they should be worthy of them! Hero shouldn’t have to see Villain like this. “I’m here now. It’s okay.”

Hero glanced back at Superhero, eyes narrowed into a glare. “What are you doing here?!”

“I knew you would be away for a while today, Hero. And I knew you would be worried sick about your ill partner so I thought I would come and look after them for you.”

Hero’s eyes found Villain’s, searching, scanning for any sign that Superhero was lying. Villain was skittish and heaving, not meeting Hero’s eyes. There was something wrong, was it just vomiting? Being sick? No, this was different. Villain was incoherent and violent last time, now they were just… subdued and lifeless and terrified.

“You stepped over the line, Superhero,” Hero said firmly, eyes burning down at their lover. “Please wait in the living room while I help them to bed.”

Superhero’s eyes met Villain’s over Hero’s shoulder, a sadistic smile on his lips. He brought a finger to his lips and pointed down at Hero. Then drew a line across his throat and mimicked Hero being killed.

“Of course, Hero,” Superhero said easily, while Villain’s trembles intensified. Hero waited until Superhero had walked out the door before looking back at Villain.

“Vil, oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I should have never left you.”

They’re just saying that because you’re weak, Villain thought.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t ask Superhero to come. I didn’t know they would do something as crazy as this!”

They’re tired of you. They don’t love you, if they did they would have never left. You’re exhausting, you wear people out.

“Come on, Vil. Talk to me.” Hero said, leaning forward and pressing their forehead against Villain’s. Villain could feel Hero’s warm breath fanning against their face. They weren’t even worthy of this. “Shhh. Vil, it’s okay. I’m here now and I’m not leaving.”

When Hero wrapped their arms around Villain, Villain couldn’t hold it together anymore and they broke down into sobs that wracked their entire body. Their fingers turned to claws in Hero’s shirt, bunching it and holding on and not wanting to let go.

They were weak, they were so weak that they made the people they loved weak for them. It bled through from Villain into them, and now they were breaking Hero’s heart. They didn’t deserve Hero’s heart. They didn’t deserve any of this comfort and warmth and love.

Hero held them tightly and kissed their hair and cheek and anything their lips could reach, whispering reassurances and telling them that they loved them.

When Villain’s sobs had calmed down to mere whimpers and sniffles, Hero moved them, putting one hand under their legs and the other under their shoulders and lifted them like they were a baby. Villain curled into Hero’s embrace, a deep red blush filling their face with warmth.

Hero shouldn’t have to do this, to be the strong one. Villain was the strong one! God what happened to them?! Why couldn’t they just be perfect for Hero?

Hero put them into bed, lying beside them under the covers. They tilted Villain’s head down to lie on top of Hero’s chest, hearing their heartbeat. They were a tangle of limbs.

“What about,” Villain sniffed, “Superhero?”

Hero’s eyes darkened. “Let him wait. You’re my priority, Villain. You always will be. Never forget that.”

Villain sniffed, fresh tears streaming down their cheeks. “I love you Hero.” They said even though it broke their heart to say that. Weak! So weak!

“I love you more than you’ll ever know,” Hero whispered into Villain’s hair, kissing the top of their head.

*~*~*~*~*

[cosmerelists]

Canon Cosmere Couples: Did They Have A Good First Kiss?

As requested by @cosmereplay

Now, as I said when I accepted this post, there is NO CHANCE that I will actually remember who has canon first kisses and who doesn't. So please don't get annoyed by that. Except for Painter/Yumi, who I know had a terrible first kiss! Because Cosmereplay said so when requesting this list. :)

Anyway, here's how I think the first kiss went with canon Cosmere couples.

[SPOILERS FOR CANON COUPLES THROUGH ALL PUBLICATIONS INCLUDING WAT PREVIEWS—but the WAT one is under a read more!]

1. Wax & Steris: Great First Kiss

I feel like this one might be canon. I feel like whether or not this happened in canon, their first kiss happened when they were flying, and that Steris was overcome by the Romanticism and the Danger as she is in canon, and then she and Wax shared their first kiss. And I think it was legitimately great for both of them.

2. Adolin & Shallan: Good First Kiss

I think Adolin had plenty of kissing experience (depending on how "Not Before Marriage" the Vorins are...but like Dalinar & Navani kiss so surely Adolin can too) and that Shallan had none. In my head, Adolin kissed Shallan in the Perfect Romantic Moment and then Shallan panicked afterwards and said something which most people would have found incredibly awkward but which Adolin vibed with so completely that it just made the moment better.

3. Tress & Charlie: Bad First Kiss

Think about the "pair of gloves" scene. Those kids are so sweet and so awkward. And it is based on the Princess Bride, where Buttercup & Wesley shared a truly perfect kiss, which had (in that book) only happened three times in all of history. But this is a Hoid retelling. I don't think Tress & Charlie had that magic, so I think their first kiss was more ordinary and real.

4. Raoden & Sarene: Adequate First Kiss

I think that's how Sarene described it. Raoden thought it was a bit better than "adequate," but he yielded to Sarene's judgement that they'd "definitely get better with practice, though."

5. MeLaan & Wayne: Insanely Good First Kiss

MeLaan said Wayne was the best lay she'd ever had. So somehow Wayne is good at all of that. And they were so distracted boning that they missed a whole ass train robbery. They were definitely eating each others' faces.

6. Navani & Dalinar: Great First Kiss

I think this one is canon--I think their first kiss really was in the room after one of Dalinar's visions, when Navani kissed Dalinar & then they couldn't stop kissing for a minute. This is assuming that back when they were young and Navani was deciding between Dalinar & his brother, that she and Dalinar never kissed. And I don't think they did. I think they have "never actually kissed before" energy in the flashbacks. So assuming the canon kiss was their first one, it seemed like it was good! They're older & they know what they liked, and they definitely both seemed caught up in it.

7. Siri & Susebron: Great First Kiss

This one is canon, although not described in like a ton of detail I don't think. I mainly remember something like "Susebron didn't know what to do but Siri did" and that they were so insanely horny for each other that they hooked up despite that being the one thing that they needed to avoid doing. So, like, I think it's fair to say that they were into it.

8. Vin & Elend: Okay First Kiss

I don't mean to make this all about "prior kissing experience" like I'm looking at some sort of Kissing Resume. But Elend must have a bit of kissing trauma, since his only sexual experience prior to Vin was with a skaa woman he was forced to sleep with and who he later found out was executed for it. And Vin just generally has Trauma and was constantly on alert against sexual violence in particular. The two of them trust each other and like each other and per WOB were hooking up even before marriage (gasp!) but I think they were vaguely relieved when that First Kiss was over with.

9. Breeze & Allrianne: Bad First Kiss

I mean given that their relationship was Breeze being like "uh I don't know if I want this" and Allrianne being like "yes you do"...I dunno. I can't imagine their first kiss was good.

10. Gavilar & Navani: Bad First Kiss

Gavilar was imagining kissing himself and Navani was imagining kissing Dalinar.

11. Dalinar & Evi: Bad First Kiss

Evi was imagining kissing a Dalinar who loved her and Dalinar was imagining kissing Navani.

12. Sadeas & Ialai: Amazing First Kiss

I think Sadeas & Ialai are ridiculously sexually compatible and that they knew that from the first kiss. I dunno. That's the vibe I get from them.

13. Kelsier & Mare: Great First Kiss

I think their backstory is too tragic for them not to have had a great first kiss on top of everything else. Just to make Kelsier that much more sad, you know?

14. Kaladin & Lyn: Did Not Kiss

Not going to lie. I'm just going off of the energy from @room-temperature-orange-juice's comment on my "Is Kaladin Good in Bed" post which was, and I quote, "Bold of you to assume Kaladin would get laid. I love him, I treasure him, but he’s dense. Someone could lie naked on his bed, and he would be pacing the room, worrying about the safety of the vents."

I kinda like the idea of Lyn setting up all these romantic moments for Kissing Purposes and Kaladin never once realizing that that's what she's going for.

Bonus WAT spoiler couple under cut!

15. Jasnah and Hoid

This is a spoiler couple, but Jasnah and Hoid? Terrible first kiss. I do not think there is a world in which Jasnah and Hoid's first kiss was objectively good. This is based entirely on the WAT preview where Hoid is like kissing Jasnah's hand to get her excited and Jasnah is like "Mmm I am not Into That." Like I think they both wanted different things from that kiss and that neither of them really got it.

[f4iry-bell]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄 | 2

pairing: jameson hawthorne x nerd/good girl reader

summary: summary: who would have guessed taking an unwanted picture of her could lead to that tense moment? more than that, who would have thought it would get his attention to make a deal? and guys like him drain a person inside out when are interested in you.

series taglist: @clarissaweasley-10 @whatsamongus @sheisntyou @emelia07 @elysianwayy77 @lyra-kane @bewitchingkisses @zenikswaffleshop @off-to-the-r4ces @jamcarven

permanent taglist (for jameson): @clarissaweasley-10 @whatsamongus @sheisntyou @emelia07 @elysianwayy77

warning: edges????

word count: 1.5k

a/n: I'm so sorry, i wrote half of it during my exam week. next part will be better!!!😞

masterlist | series masterlist

← part 1

After making their deal official by shaking their hands, Jameson immediately asked for her number. She was hesitant to give it to him, even suggesting that he'd accept her email address instead. Jameson made fun of her, and convinced her to give her number. She felt insulted when he made fun of her. She knows people do make fun of her behind her back but none of them really did it in front of her face.

“Is that what you're going to save me?” She rolled her eyes, and pushed back her glasses.

It read; Front Row Princess.

“I’m not wrong, am I?” She wished she took boxing lessons so she knew how to throw an actual punch. Because his smirk was annoying to the point she actually wanted to punch him.

“Well then, I'll save you as The Most Privileged White Boy of the Century.” She raised both her eyebrows, and added. “I'm late for my next class, so bye.”

Jameson just laughed at her comment. “Wait. Talk to me.”

“I just said I'm late. Are you deaf?” She looked pissed, she hates it when people act like one's words matter nothing.

“No. I did hear you. That's why I'm asking you to talk to me. Let's start from now, you go late to class. It'll be a different experience to enter a room full of students, or walking in the hallway with barely any students.�� Instead of smirking he gave her a friendly smile this time.

“No, I'll start tomorrow.”

“You won't. Start today. Right now.”

“I don't want to be late to class. Everybody will stare at me, and God the whispers. I don't want my professor to be disappointed.” She blinked rapidly when she was talking.

“Your professor won't be disappointed. You still have time, just be 5 minutes late. Won't hurt a fly. And who cares what those whispers say? Don't you have a project you have to work on?”

She was quiet, Jameson had a victory smile. She can't accept that she is wrong, especially when she's with him.

“Let's chat. I'll go first. I like insane rides and speed because of the adrenaline rush. It gives me pure joy.” Jameson sat down on the floor.

“Uh…cool.” What she really wanted to say was ‘freak’ or ‘weirdo’.

“Now tell me something about you.”

“Uh…I don't like heights.” She confessed. “Ironic, I know.” She pointed at the edge of the rooftop.

“No wonder you got so scared when I came. You probably thought you were about to fall.” He chuckled at the memory of her jerking up.

“I could have fallen. Don't do that to me or anyone, it's not safe.”

“Okay, miss right.” He rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious.”

“Alright, change of topic, what's your favourite pizza topping!?” He asked.

She sighed, this boy can never take anything seriously, why did she let him help her? Maybe it's his face, and how pervasive he was, or his charm. She wonders how she is going to keep up with him, because they are two different species.

“I don't like this.” She said on the other side of the call while sitting on her dorm bed. “I could get in serious trouble if I sneak out. New rule; you help me but without getting me into trouble.” She told him.

“You’re not sneaking out, just get a gate pass saying you have to meet a family member for dinner and you'll be late tonight.”

“I’m not good at lying.”

“Then I'll lie for you.”

“How will you do that, genius?”

“I'll tell the dormitory incharge that I'm your boyfriend, and we both are meeting your parents so my dear girlfriend might be late by just half an hour.”

“No! You're not saying that.”

“Then the first option is.”

“Fine. But will you at least tell me ‘Out of the Bubble Experience’ am I going to have?” She asked.

“Why? So you can either be mentally prepared or say ‘I’m not going to do it’? No way. Second lesson; Live in the moment.”

“I- I wasn't going to do either of those.” She frowned at how he was quick to read her mind from kilometres away.

“Sure. I'll meet you outside where I told you at 8:30PM. Don't be late, princess.”

“Now what?” She asked. She was wearing a normal red shirt, and a cardigan over it paired with flared jeans.

“We're going on a mini drive, mini that will only take an hour.”

“An hour?!”

“Just an hour.”

Most of the car ride was “where are we going?”, “are we there yet?”, “just tell me where!” and some music, Jameson asked her if she wanted to play any music of her choice but she knows that he'll judge her music taste so she listens to his stupid fuckboy music.

After an hour exactly he stopped a little away from their destination, he got out of the car to open the door for her but she was already out, and neither of them commented on it. Jameson thought she wasn't aware that he came to her side to open the door, and just let it be.

“What now?” She asked him, raising her shoulders.

“This is the part where you say “Is this the part where you kill me?”” She can see his cheeky smile through the moonlight, and just glared at him. “Alright, so we're walking half a kilometre, is that okay?”

“Yeah, but why?”

“What's the point of coming out on a night like this if not to take a walk?” He said as he started walking in reverse.

They were at the top of a hill, it was high, and the side Jameson was walking in reverse had an edge. He took slow steps towards the edge, there was a foot tall cement railing that was there at the edge, which he could easily trip over. It was about a foot thick as well.

“Stop.” She demanded but he kept going.

“I won't fall, princess. Relax, there's a railing.”

“You could trip over it.”

“Nah, my plan was to walk on it but seeing the fear in your eyes I think only I'll be doing it.”

“You what?!” She rushed over to him to make him stop walking backwards. Her hands reached for him to stop, as soon as they made physical contact, Jameson paused for a moment, and only a moment because he knew if he stopped she'd stop touching him. Like he predicted she tried to stop him by tugging his arms. Although there was a barrier of fabrics between them, Jameson still felt the electric touch that they write about. He finally stopped once he reached the railing, he turned away, and then sat on it then put his legs to the other side where they were dangling down.

“Jameson!” She let go of his hand once he stopped but boy did she not expect him to do that.

“Join me, we are about 90 feet high.”

“90? No way I'm sitting there! God, can you just get off of it please?” When Jameson looked at her she was genuinely worried.

“Are you worried that I'm going to fall?”

“Yes!”

“I won't. Now join me. You're missing out, seriously. If you want I'll hold your hands.” He was teasing her about holding her hand but a part of him actually wanted to hold her hand. “Come on. YOLO, right?”

She rolled her eyes but took a step forward, and hesitated to say something. “Will you actually hold my hand?”

He paused. “To keep you safe.”

She nodded, and sat. He put his hands behind her back to make her feel safe. She didn't put her legs to the other side, she was sitting close to him, he turned to her to see that she was looking down on her thighs but with her eyes closed. When he spoke the hair at the back of her neck rose as his breath fanned over her neck.

“If you're scared to face your fear, you'll never outgrow it. I won't let you fall.” He promised. “Just put your legs over, or not. But at least turn and look at the view. You are seriously missing out. And I really want you to see this.” It was true, Jameson was so excited to show her this small view from this high. He is actually a bit sad that she's not experiencing it like he wanted her to.

She sighed with a nod, and turned back to look, her eyes sparked.

“Woah.”

Jameson smiled at her reaction although it was just whisper he heard it crystal clear, maybe it's the distance but a part of him told him that he would hear her from kilometres away as well. He didn't want to call it infatuation, because he knew that they are binary opposites.

And would never work.

So he called it an experiment, a challenge, anything but infatuation. He was determined to make it stay that way, even if felt a little tug on his heart the way her eyes twinkled, and when she smiled looking at the view.

It doesn't matter, they'll never work.

part 3 →

[taehoneys]

BAD GUY | EIGHT

+ Jungkook and you both have a secret that could end your relationship.

— Summary: A certain video circulates the school after your big mistake and you never do mistakes, but you did this time… a big one: J e o n J u n g k o o k

— Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ft. Taehyung

— Genre: Drama

— AU(s): College!AU Fratboy!AU 

— Warnings: Fingering, Oral, choking, all kinds of sex, okay? Oh, and sometimes it’s unprotected. Breeding kink (?)

— Chapter Word Count: 4K

— Chapter Note: I am updating this with one eye open, and burning up with a lack-of-sleep fever. I wasn't going to let you guys down anymore!!

PLAYLIST ♪ | MASTERLIST | ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | SIX | SEVEN | EIGHT

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

How many times have Jungkook and you crossed paths, unknown to you both?

Once?

On the first day of class, when you two were figuring out the campus layout. Both too busy looking down at your phones to apologize when you bumped shoulders.

Twice?

When you boarded the city bus after class and sat across from him. It was a 15-minute ride into the city. Jungkook entertained himself by watching you play with your loose-knit sweater holes.

Thrice?

At midnight, when the donut shop in the student atrium was the only thing open. Jungkook, Taehyung, Zelo, and Hoseok were crowding by the register, too busy laughing about who knows what. You and Juli brushed past, donuts and 5 lectures of statistics crammed into your mind.

Jungkook would argue that you didn't go completely unnoticed that time. And every time after that, you had his full attention. From when you slipped into his lab to make up for the one you missed in yours, scouted the fraternities, to when you sat in his economics class.

He didn't plan for banter between you two, but it made each boring class fly by. There was only one time he was seriously annoyed. The infamous time he threw the invitation your way. In truth, he had failed his calculus exam a class before (everyone actually failed), and he was too stressed to pay attention during the lecture.

You implied that his sex was all he had to offer. As if that's all he was capable of? He, after all, attends on a scholarship. A scholarship he earned for achieving a 4.0 GPA and being STEM club president in high school. The only thing that made the corner of his mouth lift a little was that you obviously thought a lot about how much sex he was having. Did it bother you?

It had to a little, right? That's why you stepped foot into the frat house with his invitation in hand. Because you were curious. You were trying to get something on him again (except he had no idea how serious you were about this). So he made sure he kept an eye on you. Though things got harder -literally- when alcohol was in his system.

Your taunts left his head spinning. The way your breath hitched before 'Daddy', the smile clear in your voice. It left him with no choice but to push off the couch to find you. Determined, he pushed through the crowd, ignoring the hands that reached out to him.

It was at the bottom of the stairs where he found you. With your hand on the handrail, you raised your eyebrow. Your eyes said you were bored, yet a small smile on your mouth said you were waiting for him. He narrowed his eyes on you, as if saying there was nowhere for you to run. Because you could either go down the stairs into him or up to his bedroom.

Before a word slipped past his lips, you slowly climbed up. Your hands dropped to the bottom of your dress, lifting a little with every step of the floating staircase.

Heat flashed through his body as he viewed your hand slip between your thighs, pushing your panties aside to reveal a glistening center. His mind raced with the possibilities of what you were thinking about.

You giggled, closing your legs and resting against the wall at the top. Jungkook took the opportunity to hurry up the stairs. And when he stumbled to the top, he turned you into the hallway, squeezing your waist harder than he meant to.

As your back bumped into the wall behind you, a dangerous glimmer came across your eyes. Jungkook dropped his gaze from your lips down to where your dress rode up more.

God, your thighs. They looked soft, and he'd do anything to knead them in his hands. Or better, have them squeeze around him as he eats you out. Jungkook's eyes fell back over your face, and he watched the way you press your tongue against your teeth. Busted.

"I have a confession," he told you. "I have thought about choking you."

You trained your eyes on him. Slowly, his hand traveled to brush your hair away before he wrapped it around your neck, carefully pressing his thumb on the side of your throat.

You gave him the middle finger, biting down on your lip.

He chuckled, holding up his own. Except, he made you follow it as he brought it between your legs. Lightly, his middle finger trailed in your folds, the silkiness of your panties making him hard.

Your chin instinctually tilted and when he did it again, he was welcomed with dampness.

"Careful," you moaned with purpose. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you'd want to fuck me."

"Enough" he whispered, the alcohol on his breath fanning your face. He stumbled closer, but in a way that was hiding you from the people coming to and from the hallway. You two were visible but not visible enough in the dimly lit and smoke filled corridor.

When you looked back at him, it was with feigned innocence. An expression reading I don't know what you're talking about.

"Enough with the act," he clarified. He was fed up with you acting like you were such a good girl when he was sure you were the opposite.

Your fingers danced up his chest, feathering his neck before your hands interlaced behind it.

"Okay," you said in a small voice, tilting your head.

Your approval shocked Jungkook, making him scrunch his eyebrows.

"I'll drop more than my act... " your eyes looked down to his full lips for a moment. "If you get on your knees and worship me."

You hold his burning gaze. The tension growing so thick that Jungkook caved in that moment. He dropped quickly to the ground, and you straightened up like you didn't expect him too.

In truth, it was like Jungkook was waving for your permission. Before you took what you said back, he threw your leg over his shoulder and lifted his head to cup over your mound.

The hitch in your gasp told him you lost all the air in your lungs, making him smile.

"If I didn't know any better..." he muffled against your panties, "I'd say you want to fuck me too."

And not waiting another second more, he swept your panties to the side and ate you out in the hallway of the frat house. He lapped with his tongue eagerly, breathing in harshly through his nose, your aroma making him hungry for more.

You unraveled, shamefully. Although you squeaked protests, you yanked his hair and sunk his head closer. Riding the waves of pleasure, you felt your face heat up, your hair over it not helping.

Jungkook looked up at you with doe eyes, mouth glistening and fingers softening your side. He knew he had you when you drop into his arms. Catching you, he lifted you up where you could envelope your legs around him.

Bringing you into his room, he kicked the door closed. And placing you onto his bed, he continued where he left off. Kissing, sucking, rolling, lapping, rubbing, he did it all with a euphoric chuckle in between. Your moans edged him, increasing from quiet to airy to whiny.

He could listen to them all day.

Giving his mouth a break, he lifted away and let his fingers achieve your climax. When you arched up, his palm roamed down your side.

"Fuck, ___. Did you forget how a good girl's supposed to act?"

He was right, you had forgotten. Your task almost slipping out of your mind.

What he didn't know was when he reached over to play music, you had pulled out your phone from your bra to press record before sliding it under the pillow. And before he noticed, you brought him into the bed to lie down so you could climb on top.

And that video was never supposed to be put out.

- - - - - - - - - - -

When was the last time you had a good night's sleep? We're talking pulse undetectable kind of sleep. Sleep that you wake up feeling as if you've been pulled from the depths of the earth. This sleep was so concerning you were debating whether you needed to be checked for sleep apnea.

It took a lot of effort to open your eyelids, one fluttering after the other as you get used to your muscles again. When your vision clears, the confusion brews.

You question if you ever left Taehyung's room. Then, the room becomes crystal clear, making all the memories hit you at once. The bonfire, Jungkook and Nina, the fight, the kiss, the shower. You almost orgasm for the fifth time --- not really, but it was overwhelming to experience a night's long event in a flash.

Soft humming turns your attention to find Jungkook at his desk. He looks softer today as his oversized cream shirt swallows him. His hand glides across his notebook as he jots down notes from his laptop, his other hand drumming on the surface of the desk. The sun is shining on him, and the way his hair gleams it's chocolate hues makes you want to run your fingers through it again. But what entertains you the most is the golden round frames on his face. Oh, his face. The bruise had gotten worse. You suck in your breath, remembering how fast Taehyung threw his fist across Jungkook's face last night. 

You must've been staring for so long because he picks up his head and glances over. With a double-take, he processes that you're awake.

You wish you were a graceful waker-upper with flowing hair and a radiant face. Instead, you squint as you sit up, and attempt to fix your (his) shirt that's twisted around your body.

"You're a morning person," you mumble.

Jungkook snorts, twisting his pen between his fingers. "Morning? It's already 3." Amused, you watch how he spins it. A smile tugs on your face, recalling how he did that in class. Then his words sink in.

3 p.m.?! Oh, hell. Juli has probably already sent out a search party. It wouldn't have gotten far knowing Yoongi would calm her down, but at the expense of spilling the beans. And that's if videos of you didn't spread. Not to mention, when you walk out of this room, you'd have to face Taehyung.

Fuck, this was worse than a hangover.

Your pulled from your thoughts hearing Jungkook climb onto the bed, you look at him raising an eyebrow. When he gets close enough, you frown, which stretches his smile. As he hovers over your lips, your annoyance melts away. 

"Fucking love that," he murmurs.

"Hm?" you open your eyes.

He scrunches his face cutely, "How you act so tough, until..." He pauses, and you give a wobble of your head to say 'go on'. He takes your lips quicker than you realize.

You stare at him until you turn away to crack a smile. You hate that he's right. Are you that weak for him?

He smirks, pointing his eyebrows at you because yes, yes you were. In response, you take his glasses from his face.

Jungkook lunges at you, kissing you harder. His smile matches yours as you catch up to his excited kisses. Was he waiting for you to wake up this whole time to do that? Your morning kiss turns from fun and cute to serious when he nips your top lip. There's a brief hitch before your lips are tingling, your teeth accidentally clashing, and your losing air, unable to catch it when he keeps diving for more.

"J-Jung-"

Your phone rings loudly, causing you both to untangle. To your surprise, you find it charging on his nightstand. 

Jungkook pants and adjusts himself at his waistband. "Sora found it. It's been going off all morning."

You close your eyes before taking it from the charger. "Juli... she's going to kill me."

Unknown to Jungkook, you were talking more about the relationship than not answering her calls. But you'll have at least the entire drive home to figure out how to explain it to her.

Jungkook lays back against his headboard, holding his hands together, looking over your shoulder. "Nah, she knows you're fine. I texted her."

You freeze. "Texted?"

He looks at you proudly. "That you were safe and sound with your boyfriend."

Your heart skips a beat. 

"And...?" Your voice catches in your throat.

"Wanna find out?" Jungkook unclasps his hands and tugs the phone out of your hand, happily.

"Wait, from my phone? How did you even unlock-"

He holds it in front of your face with a cheesy grin and you watch it unlock. Your almost too stunned by his cleverness.

He's caught up in reading her text that he forgets to read it out loud. You lean in to face her mass texts.

You (Jungkook): I'm fine~~ With my new boyfriend💋 Juli: Bitch wtf?! ! ! Juli: Serious orrr Juli: Hello???? Juli: It's been 2 hours, slut!! You better be having the best sex of your life Juli: Oh, so you can text Yoongi you're okay, but not ME Juli: You have 1 hour😤

"She wasn't wrong," Jungkook rolls out of his mouth and you supress a smile.

"Well-" 

"I don't want to hear it." Jungkook sets the phone aside and hovers over you. You give in and fall back, staring up into his doe eyes. Even though his face is bruised, it's still one of the most attractive faces you know. 

You inhale slowly, feeling the warmth bubbling in your chest. Today, was the first day of your relationship with Jungkook. It made you nervous. What would your days with the once campus playboy be like? How would everyone react? You two were in opposing fraternities, making it so unexpected. Then, there's the girls that would be jealous and who'd wonder why he chose you out of all of them.

Even you know your worth, and couldn't help but wonder what drew Jungkook toward you. If you told him a month ago, he'd go as far as fighting his best friend over you, he'd tell you to go to hell.

Jungkook bends closer, and you feel his soft lips against your neck. 

"Tonight's Meet the Greeks."  You whisper out.

He hums to confirm, the vibrations making you close your eyes. 

"We only have a couple of hours..."

"Perfect." He opens his mouth and kisses where he's at.  

You entangle your fingers in his hair. Not what you meant. 

"Don't you need to set up your presentation?" You try to control your voice, but he's making it hard. 

"It's on my laptop. I saved us some time by having disabled the password so I can just-"

He lifts his hand and mimics opening the laptop quickly, all the while his lips remain working on your neck.

You roll your eyes. That's so him.

You still had a lot to do, like go over your speech, pick-up the flyers, and get ready. But your mind gets hazy with how Jungkook's worked his way up to your ear, gently blowing in it. And the next thing you know, you're going back under the covers.

- - - - - - - - - - -

You turned down Jungkook's offer to walk you to your car. He still had to get ready and you knew all the possibilities of what that trip to your car could turn into. You were enough trouble, you didn't want to add late to a fraternity meeting on the list.

As you walk down the hall, you look up when you hear a door close.  

Who else could be stepping out of the bathroom other than Kim Taehyung? Walking out of Jungkook's room, you knew you had a lot of people to face. He wasn't the first one on the list you wanted to encounter. 

He looks up, hair dripping droplets down. As he put the necklace back around his neck, his muscles flexed under his tight tank, his sweatpants hanging low as he must've quickly thrusted them on after his shower. You suck in air between your teeth because you lost all bragging rights of him.

Taehyung blinks, his eyes flickering anger? Sadness? Resent? Disappointment? Everything all at once?

He lowers his lids as he drops his hands, necklace hanging where it should. "Congratulations."

There was a chance he was being genuine. Yet, you couldn't help make the situation so awkward that the tension physically hurt. "Taehyung," you breathe out shaky, "I'm-"

He shakes his head. Leaning forward with a lopsided smile, he winks. "I said 'congratulations'."

Nodding your head, you lock your lips tight.

He brushes past you, but calls your name when he's a little further away. 

You face him, cheeks flushed.

"Whenever you need me... you can come to me."

He lifts two fingers but instead of holding it by his eye as usual, he holds it over his mouth. He spreads his tongue out between his fingers. Your lips part in shock. 

"I don't even have to be there." Backing away, he holds out his arms in a shrug.

While holding your breath, you watch him chuckle before walking back to his room.

Kim fucking Taehyung.

- - - - - - - - - - -

It had been 2 hours since you left, and Jungkook's high wasn't wearing off. Despite the bruise on his nose extending out to under his left eye, he grinned. He didn't win the fight, yet he felt victorious. He was curious about what rumors people were circulating about that night. People had to be smart enough to speculate it was about a girl. What would their reaction be like when they find out it was over you? And that you chose Jungkook? He throws his head back, elated that you're going around calling him yours. 

After tonight's meeting, he plans on stopping by your place, surprising you with hot food from Yum's food truck, and putting on whatever was new this week. The fall weather was perfect for horror movie so maybe he'll suggest that. And then tomorrow, the two of you could drag yourselves out of bed to study in the library. You'll hate him for it, but all will be forgiven when he gets you your favorite drink from the coffee shop by the entrance. 

Monday, you'll plot how to give Dr. Lim a heart attack, and that might be as easy as walking in holding hands or him stealing kisses in the middle of lecture. Tuesday, he'll leave his frat meeting to go bother yours. Wednesday, he'll crash at your place and woo your roommates with chicken and soju. Thursday, he'll steal you after class and take you downtown until late at night when string lights illuminate the block and music plays loudly on the speakers.

Friday, you'll go to the city's pier and he'll show off on the zipline before taking you on the ferris wheel a thousand times. Saturday, he'll follow you around as you do your errands, even if it was simply doing your laundry for the week, sneaking in butt pinches when he can. Sunday, he'll bring you home and while you grocery shop for the week, he'll introduce you to his neighborhood grandmas (who dote on him), so they can have something new to brag about.

And the next week, you'll do it all over again.

As he walked into the meeting room, his grin set off a round of curious and knowing ooooohs. He bears his teeth and widens his eyes, overwhelmed with how questions are thrown his way. With a wave of his hands he dismisses the comments about Taehyung being thrown out of the fraternity. 

He sets his laptop at the podium and unclenches his jaw. "Nope. I'm not kicking him out of the frat."

Namjoon leans forward and raises his eyebrow, arms crossed across his chest. It's his way of asking Jungkook if he's okay. He nods his way, reassuring him.

"We had a misunderstanding."

Jimin mutters the word in disbelief. "A misunderstanding would be like the time you drank his drink and he told you he had mono, not 'want more?' A misunderstanding is not trying to concave each other's bones."

Namjoon raises his arm to block Jimin's view of Jungkook, trying to get him to calm down. 

Jungkook has to hold onto the podium with both hands. He gulps, "Well, I'm not kicking him out, but it's his choice if he's staying."

Another member speaks up, "Without Taehyung, we don't have a treasurer. We might actually have to cut back. He paid for everything!"

Jungkook tenses up, feeling the stress weigh him down. Taehyung did a lot as treasurer, even paying any difference in what they couldn't fundraise. If they lose him, it could be the fall of the fraternity if they didn't pull their shit together. Jungkook hated that. He hated relying on Taehyung for money. 

He continues, "We might have to actually fundraise-"

"Not leaving the frat,"  a low voice interrupts from behind them. The one who speaks up looks like his face dried and shriveled upon hearing Taehyung. 

Taehyung walks and pulls out the chair with his foot before plopping himself down. "So you can keep being my sugar baby."

"Sorry," he squeaks.

Jungkook and Taehyung lock eyes. Taehyung stares back with empty ones. After a few pauses, his left hand comes up to bring his vape to his mouth. Jungkook flickers his eyes away, quickly recomposing himself. 

"Alright, then. Let's just get tonight over with. You all know what you need to do... tables, chairs, banner, catering, music... I still have to finish the presentation."

The volume increases as the meeting ends, everyone suddenly acting responsible to prepare for tonight.

Jungkook can't help but feel awkward with Taehyung in the room. The two couldn't just brush off the asshole things they said. Jungkook knows he should be the first one to apologize since he threw the first punch, but he couldn't move his two feet. Taehyung was going to leave soon to set up his DJ equipment, so maybe the apology could wait?

Except, Taehyung wasn't leaving. He kept sitting there at the table, vaping, checking his nails, or whistling. At some point, when Jungkook looked up, Taehyung flinched under his stare as if Jungkook's gaze hurt the bruises on his face. Dramatically, he touches them and looks back at his hand in mock terror. Jungkook scoffs, almost pointing to his own nose that he should x-ray.

With a deep sigh, Jungkook mutters an apology.

Taehyung sticks a finger in his ear, looking around the room like he didn't hear him. He yawns, smacking his lips at the end. Looking at Jungkook he raises his eyebrows. Hmm? 

Jungkook shakes his head, tapping the side of his laptop. "I'm sorry."

"So you'll hand her over?" Taehyung doesn't miss a beat.

Before he can frown, Taehyung jumps up from his chair. "Kidding."

"For the record, I'm not sorry for what I said." 

"Good. 'Cause neither am I." Taehyung shrugs.

Jungkook nods, feeling a little bit better. "Now go make sure the microphone and speakers are set up."

"Yes, president." With a salute, Taehyung turns and grabs his jacket off one of the hooks on the wall. The jacket only sees the light of day during events like this since he doesn't regularly wear it.

Jungkook looks back at his laptop, the screensaver running. A video thumbnail appears and he narrows his eyes, recognizing that the video was taken yesterday based on his outfit. He looks around the room to make sure that no one is left. As he presses play, drunken memories slowly return. His eyes widen and he quickly disconnects the HDMI cord from the projector.

"Jungkook!" Someone calls for him from outside the room.

He clears his throat and walks over to help lift the marquee light up letters on the cart.

That video on his laptop was another one that was never supposed to go out. Maybe if Jungkook hadn't left his laptop unattended...

it wouldn't have. 

___________________________________________

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I hope the taglist works, sorry if I missed you! And for everyone reading, thank you! For those who responded to my "need-support" post, know that you HELPED!! This goes out for you!

[cybernetic-side-eye]

Hi Commander Wolffe (I remind myself you said that was okay.)

I'm sorry to bother you, and I know you probably won't even see this before my self-made mini-crisis is over, so don't worry about that. But I just wanted to try to distract myself a little bit. And I'm sorry, but you're the one I go to when I'm worried about my vision. (That'll teach you to be nice to me!)

And I'll say right off the bat I know you're not a doctor, and you don't know anything about eye/vision problems, especially in my universe, I'm just using you as a distraction (again, sorry.)

A few years ago I had surgeries to remove the floaters (the gray squiggly worm type) from both eyes. But after that I still had a black dot or two that would float through my vision sometimes. The kind that would make me think a gnat was flying around me or something like that. Not enough to bother my vision, just a little annoying.

I mentioned it to my doctors, and they all say there is nothing in my eye. They see no black dots anywhere. So they don't know what it is. I've asked 2 retinal specialists, a glaucoma specialist, an optometrist who monitors my pressures, and my optometrist who prescribes my glasses. They all say there is nothing there. The optometrist did say, "I've had other people tell me they have that, but we don't know what it is."

So I've just learned to live with it. I'd say it's half the time I see them, and they're easily ignored.

But today when I woke up there was a different one. Different shaped (more of a splotch than an actual dot) and a little bigger. And it seems to stay in the far right of my vision. It's big enough I thought it was a bug crawling on me at one point. But it's not BIG, just bigger than the others. And I see them today too.

I've been debating if I should go to the ER (since it's the weekend, no one is in any of my doctors' offices.) But I don't know if ERs even have ophthalmologists around or on call. And I don't know if a regular MD would know what to look for.

I'm probably not going to go. I haven't seen it for the last 5 minutes. Maybe it's fine. I'm sure it's fine. I just worry a lot.

So as a distraction, I wanted to ask if you had a story of a time with your brothers that brought you joy. You have the whole "grumpy" persona on display a lot, but I'm sure you have fun and enjoy stuff too. Especially with your brothers. And it could be when you were younger or now or anything.

Or if you don't have any stories you want to share, maybe just what some of your favorites are? Like color, weather, pastime, beverage?

Or maybe just what you're up to right now (at the time you see this, that is.)

As I said, I'm writing this to distract myself more than anything. Sorry to bother you, but thank you for making me feel comfortable enough that I was able to distract myself with writing this.

Take care,

Carol (@clonethirstingisreal)

You don't have to apologize for anything. I don't interact out of obligation and wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be. I know firsthand how scary it is when your eyes don't work correctly. To me, it sounds like you're taking some time to think through your options.

I know I can be a grump or come across as overly serious, but that's only because it takes me time to get comfortable in certain situations. I think it's a good time for a story, though. I think @capt-traitor would be fine with me sharing this.

Gregor and I were headed back to triple zero. A bunch of commandos ended up working with the 104th and it was a difficult campaign. While the battle was won, the damage to this one village was particularly awful and even though we got everyone to safety, we were all tired on the flight back. We were what you might call "tired drunk" and for whatever reason, Gregor decided to start talking about how we should get out more. The conversation essentially went like this:

Gregor: When was the last time you went dancing? Me: Never. Gregor: There's your problem! You need to get out more. Swing that kama around. Show the people what you're working with. Let off some steam! Me: I don't swing for just anyone. Gregor: I think you mean something else besides what that sounds like, but that's not important right now. Get up. Me: What? Gregor: Stand up.

Cue Gregor grabbing my hands, pulling me up, and holding me like we're about to waltz. I was too tired to argue, but that man can dance. First he led and hummed while teaching me some steps. Then he had me lead. I don't know where he learned it, but there was just something ridiculous and fun about learning to dance after a series of such long days. We turned on some music and - as Comet would say - we were vibing. Let lose, danced like we were at a club instead of attempting to be fancy, and certain that no one could hear us. At some point we waddled down to the mess in a sleepy daze, broke in without waking anyone up, and grabbed some barely edible ration bars.

Only, @commander-stabby had overheard everything because he was trying to sleep next door. He found us sitting on the floor of the mess kitchen, half-asleep, trying to find the energy to make caf. Gregor looked up at him and asked "You dance, commander?"

[voidandabyssal]

Ello! I am back!

I loved what you did with my last request, and I wish to add another one!

In this can I ask for undertale papyrus, underfell papyrus, underswap sans, and horrortale papyrus?

In this scenario, they are married to reader (Separate unlees together if it makes it easier to write), and it's their 5 year anniversary. Reader wanting to do something sweet for them wakes up at like 3am. since the boys already wake up early. They try to make breakfast, but the boys wake up to the fire alarm going off, and they find reader in the kitchen. There's like broken eggs on the floor, flower everywhere, 3 pans in the skink, and reader was trying to put out the mini fire on the stove. Reader can't cook for shit. Even if their life depends on it.

How will the boys react, and what will they do?

I say this overtime and it dosent change. Take you're time and stay safe!

Papyrus:

Papyrus is jumping off the bed and practically flying by into the kitchen the second the fire alarm goes off

He has been with you for five long years, and every year your cooking somehow only manages to grow more and more chaotic

Luckily Papyrus has an infinite amount of energy and doesn’t mind helping you clean up at 3 in the morning

Though he does try and remind you to please avoid using the kitchen in the dark, or spraying cooking oil over a lit flame

He sends you to bed and when you wake up you find Papyrus has actually cleaned up and made you breakfast

Edge (uf paps):

He wakes up when you get up at 3

He’s suspicious at first, what on earth could you want to be doing this early

And although Edge greatly treasures his sleep schedule he gets up after you to make sure your okay

Edge nearly gets blasted with a flame as the stove bursts into bright blue flame

How?? Did you even manage that?? It’s a magical stove designed specifically for low flame??

Edge is very annoyed, like, he’s just about to throttle you annoyed

He makes you clean up the mess all by yourself (somehow you managed to nearly destroy the kitchen in the five minutes Edge had left you alone for)

Be prepared for a very long lecture. Edge has warned you time and time again about the dangers of mtt ovens

He does relent though when you admit it was supposed to be an anniversary gift. Edge softens up just a little and lets you go back to bed before he’s done lecturing you

Blue (us sans):

Blue wanders up to you in the middle of the night as your trying to start cooking his breakfast and he drags you away as you drop the first egg

It’s 3 in the morning, Blue just got off a very long shift and all he wants is some peaceful sleeping with you

Luckily he pulled you away before the stove could be set alight like last time

Probably one of the few times Blue won’t be bouncing around with energy

Crisis averted. Now you and him can enjoy a much more rested start to your anniversary

Once the two of you are rested and it’s not some forbidden hour you and Blue will get to make breakfast together

(You still end up setting the fire alarm off. Love may win but your horrible cooking skills always manage to come on top)

Crooks (ht paps):

Again, like Edge, Crooks is a very sensitive sleeper and he stirs pretty quickly when he realises he can’t find you in bed

Crooks trusts you enough not to be doing anything stupid

Rip Crooks, how wrong you were

The second those eggs hit the ground he’s awake

Its like a third sense or something

He lets out a tired groan as he just anxiously focuses on how you’ve managed to waste more food this time and so early in the morning!

You are completely oblivious to Crooks as he appeared behind you and when you do turn around you scream and drop the pan

More eggs drop all over the floor. Crooks’s face has gone blank so you nervously stand there and wait for him to give a reaction

Crooks is so, so tired, his back hurts and now his precious eggs have gone to waste. You and him clean up the mess and he wordlessly drags you back to bed

He’s not mad, Crooks just hates wasting food and prefers spending his nights sleeping.

When you both wake up at a more reasonable hour he gives you a pretty big lecture.

Then you both make breakfast together (or really, Crooks makes it and you just hand him the ingredients)

[melloianv2]

Genovese (Fake Peppino)

Go ahead look over to Dr Abe's Laboratory post if new or need refresher: link

and this

Guess am back with Dr Abe's laboratory

Wait a minute..., a new logo? why its pink? Well...this is afterlab. Am going to talk about it if I have to time too.

But in a short description: events that happened after the laboratory is destroyed. Its pink because it something to do with Abette. So this only content that only happens after the lab is gone, reduced to atoms.

Btw I named it Abe's Afterlab instead of Dr Abe's Afterlab, which I have done deliberately.

I'll still talk about the regular Dr Abe's Lab since am not finish obviously lol.

Back then...

(he can mimic others voices though, that is a way of talking...)

(i didn't mentioned he's 1 and play with toys because i wanted to look very cool back then /hj)

Back to afterlab:

There's two sections of Genovese, Sweet and Cruel.

We going talk about Sweet first since its the longest so..

Sweet

(It moves like hair though, weird. Due to error with his chromosome, he ended up have a limb hair instead of hair strings...)

(the hair string can move. But can he feel things like his arms? depends. He only use his hair string limb if he needed too.)

Origins

(it influence from other people and how he became himself.)

(btw am not going explain the actual event until the real post of afterlab comes sorry)

just sneaking this post here

Relations

(Genovese loves Peppino because he made in way to loves who ever he's loyal too.)

(Peppino had a hard to caring about Genovese, since he thought it weird to care about your own clone..)

(he is scared of him too btw, only when he's not in his dr abe persona...[we'll talk about that if i can])

Back to Sweet

(why did i make genovese 5 year old? because I can)

(jokes aside, because Dr Abe just got Peppino's DNA before he kidnapped him. So which is why he's quite young.)

(another flaw is he's native but he's not stupid. However he's not native to violence, swearing, drugs, alcohol, weapons like...at all (and cannib-) . He knows that stuff very well.)

Anyway now we at Cruel, its very short

Cruel

l

Extra

Genovese more likely insult someone if he's annoyed

Genovese's current clothing is actual clothing, and not something he shapeshifted in. Simply to blend in of course.

Genovese can fly when he shapeshifts something that is able to make him fly, however he gets tired very fast doing so.

Genovese used to not have an cruel side. back in 2021 during this au was developing.., he used to be fully pacifist and kindhearted. This was changed because due to nowadays. I decided to make him more half good now. Though, i think it fits better being half because I think it be better for him to struggle trying to be good (after being brainwashed for so long) instead of already being good.

Despite trying to be different from Peppino, He still have an habit of copying off what Peppino's wearing sometimes.

When Genovese doesn't want to play, he watch something on tv instead

Genovese is not allowed to use an stove or oven. Nor is he allowed to use a gun despite trying to use one.

Whenever Genovese is hanging out with someone without Peppino, it gets little embarrassing because he don't even know to use certain things nor when to know what's normal or not in the situation. He's still learning.

The reason why he has his eyes togther instead of being seperated because...

(he got surgery on his face to stop the melting. But the surgeon accidentally made his eyes together..)

Genovese would usually try to reason before attacking.

His tears are acid. touching him awhile crying is dangerous. Though his tears do not have the color of acid, but rather regular tears color

Genovese likes flowers, all flowers.

Genovese know a lot of ways to how to kill some one. Totally not taught to him, absolutely not. Nope.

Immature self is just as smart as mature self, he can catch things like mature self.

I don't know what I expect out of this so...

[bep1erfics]

PLAYBOY - SHEN RICKY 🛹

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE QUIET GIRL GETS TANGLED IN THE SCHOOL HEARTTHROBS MESS?

CHAPTER 1:

noticing that the clock was ticking, you got up immediately from the warmth of your bed and dashed out the door once your uniform was on. it was the start of a new semester at school, and that meant that you had to fix up your sleep schedule before your next late arrival would have severe consequences. sitting with the popular guys & chics after school in detention.

in fact, the one guy you weren’t looking forward to seeing the most was ricky, the boy who had just transferred last year. although being new, he went by this exact motto; “new month, new girl”.

the tall blonde was a total womaniser, a jerk who caught the attention of majority of the female population at school. he was a total dickhead, you just couldn’t get why they were wooed by him. with his honey blonde hair and flashy clothes, the boy radiated one word you could come up with. spoilt.

before you got completely sidetracked by the thoughts of who could be in your class, you ran out the doors and felt the breeze catch up to you, making your skirt slightly fly up as havoc came when you tried to pull and straighten the dainty uniform that the school swore by.

“shit” you muttered, checking the time on your phone which gave you five minutes to make it into the school gates before you were considered being in serious trouble. being late on your first day back wasn’t the ordeal, making you want to avoid landing in detention as the popular guys would tease you, like they already did in class.

this gave you the extra motivation to work those legs and run as fast as you could.

so you did.

you ran for about two minutes before the golden gates of your school started to appear in your sight, giving yourself about a minute or two to catch your breath.

but, one thing caught you off guard. the boy in front of you had his backpack hanging on one arm. you couldn’t piece it together who it was, but it instantly reminded you of ricky.

“oh my GOD”

the tall blonde turned his head back, interlocking his sharp, judging gaze with your eyes as you stood there completely dumbfounded. why did you blurt that out? ricky’s icy glare made you feel small, so small that you could die in a ball right now. the humiliation you just experienced was on a whole other level.

suddenly, he walked towards you and smirked as he parted his cherry coated lips to talk to you.

“are you alright? you don’t have to stare at me like that you know. i don’t bite, princess”

leaving your cheeks flushed an embarrassing hue of red, mr. playboy ruffled your hair to annoy the heck out of you and walked off, acting like nothing ever happened between the two of you. that was his specialty, doing things to girls and then leaving you looking like a distant stranger once he milked the innocence out of them.

at first, you didn’t get why he caught most of the female gaze being a total womaniser, but now you understood. with those alluring eyes and sinister grin, it was enough to send your heart running a marathon. ultimately wanting more.

one problem.

now, your awkward encounter with the people whom you wanted to avoid most, it left you with one minute before the bell rang. rushing forward, the bell rang as you were left panting hysterically, forcing oxygen into your airways as a familiar sound matched your way. mrs. kim’s 5 inch heels.

“detention after school today, miss y/n. no buts or excuses. room 45.”

( sorry if it’s a little tacky!! i drafted this a while ago but i just wanted to get something out. it’s a remake of the old ff, lmk if you wanna be apart of the tag list)

happy new years!!! from me to you :) 🎈 🎊

[joes-sha-la-la-la-girl]

When Love and Hate Collide: Chapter 5

Series Masterlist

Warning: Swearing

Joe couldn’t believe what he was seeing when he watched Sav and Y/N walk out of the hotel late at night. For some reason he felt angry. What he was angry at he didn’t know. But the idea of Sav and Y/N made him feel sick. 

Scoffing to himself, Joe made his way up to his room. As he walked over to the lift, he heard footsteps running after him. Turning his head slightly he saw Phil coming towards him. Inwardly, Joe rolled his eyes and prepared for whatever lecture he was going to get. 

“You okay mate?” Phil asked him as he joined Joe in the lift. Joe held back a groan as he gave a short nod of his head. He didn’t need his band mates getting involved. “You sure?”

Joe now resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Deep down he knew that Phil was only looking out for him but at the moment, all Joe could think about was how difficult the new assistant was making everything.

Not by anything she was doing either. Just her presence annoyed Joe but that was enough to set him off every time he saw her. A part of him was feeling guilty about the way that he spoke to her, but not guilty enough to make him actually apologise to her. Again, he knew deep down that he should but there was something stopping him every time he thought about her. 

Phil noticed that Joe was being awfully quiet as they sat in the hotel bar. Phil didn’t drink anymore, so he was even more alert than all the others and noticed that Joe didn’t touch a drop of alcohol either. The rest of the band had noticed Joe’s change in behaviour for a while now, but since Y/N joined them two days ago, things had gotten even worse. That’s why Phil decided to follow him. He had known Joe a long time and after they lost Steve, Joe was the one to help him. He knew he had to return the favour.

They climbed out of the lift in silence, and made their way down the corridor. As Joe opened his door, he noticed that Phil was still standing behind him.

“I suppose you want to come in then?” Joe asked in a bored tone. 

Nodding his head Phil followed Joe into his room and made himself comfortable on a chair in the corner of the room. Neither man spoke for a while, both waiting for the other one to start. After about five minutes of quiet, Joe finally lost his patience and asked Phil what he wanted.

“To make sure that you are alright.” Phil told him as he looked over at the younger man. Just as Joe was about to lie and say that everything was fine, Phil cut him off. 

“Don’t lie to me Joe. After everything we’ve all been through as a band, I think we are way past lying to each other, don’t you?” Phil asked him rhetorically. 

Even though he didn’t need to answer, Joe nodded his head again and looked to the floor before perching on the end of his bed, facing slightly away from Phil.

“Is it about the divorce?” Phil asked him. Joe took a shuddering breath as Phil mentioned that word. No one had out right asked him about it since he and Karla split up. “It’s okay if it is.” Phil continued this time waiting for Joe to answer.

“I don’t know what you want from me.” Joe eventually spat out. “You want me to admit that my life has gone to shit in the last year or so then fine it has. Happy?”

“No, I'm not happy Joe. Why the hell would I be happy that you are struggling like this.” Phil took a moment before his next sentence, knowing it could cause Joe to fly off the handle completely. “Is that why you don’t like Y/N around?”

Joe snapped his head up at that glaring at Phil. However, Phil stood his ground and waited for a response. 

“What the hell has she got to do with my divorce?” Joe raised his voice slightly. The thought of their new tour assistant setting him on edge. When he thought of her in that moment, he thought of her with Sav and that pissed him off even more. 

“You tell me Joe. You’re the one acting like an arse towards her and the only reason that I can think of why is because of the divorce. The only part I can’t figure out is why Y/N.”

Joe didn’t respond to that. For two reasons really, the first one was because the thought of the young woman angered him and he didn’t understand why. The second being that Phil was right. He was behaving like that because of the divorce and he too couldn’t figure out why. There was something about her that intrigued him and it terrified him. His divorce was nasty and he lost all trust in women after that, then all of a sudden, Y/N arrives and makes him question everything he had told himself for the past few months. He just couldn’t let her get close enough to hurt him.

He didn’t know why she made him feel that way. She was younger than him for a start. Nearly ten years younger. Then there was that she was smart. He could tell by the way that she carried herself that she was intelligent. He had heard her tell the guys that she was a university student, better than he ever was. She should be far out of his reach, not sleeping on the same tour bus as him like they would be doing in a few days. 

All of this confused Joe. He hadn’t felt like this in years and the events of the past months made him not want these feelings at all. 

Phil could see his friend’s inner conflict and smiled to himself. Now that he got Joe to register everything out loud he hoped that maybe he could start to get along with Y/N for the sake of everyone.

“Look” Phil started. “Why don’t you go get some fresh air and clear your head before you go to bed. It’ll do you no good to go to sleep like this.” 

Joe looked at his friend and agreed, acknowledging that he needed to think before he settled down for the night, or he’d never go to sleep. Making his way back downstairs, he decided to use the stairs rather than the lift. 

When he got to the bottom he went out of the back door which led to a small garden, a peaceful little area that Joe had seen from his room window. He didn’t know how long he had sat there but once he felt himself calm down, he stood back up and went indoors, watching Sav and Y/N get into the lift. 

Not wanting to be caught with them, he went back towards the stairs and made his way up. It was a bit of a trek but hopefully allowed him enough time to miss the two people he wanted to avoid for the night. 

However, Joe was not that lucky and he saw Sav knock on his room door. He decided to speak up as Sav turned to walk away.

“Have fun on your date?”

[ellzilla]

Finally finished watched Monarch: Legacy of Monsters

Good god this is the most mixed feelings I've felt after watching something. Spoiler warning ig if you care about the almost 10 hour long show that has 5 minutes of total godzilla but If you don't want spoilers, I rate the 60's segments an 8/10 and the 2015 plot a 3/10 I really REALLY wish the whole show was about the trio in the 60s, that or they were the main focus and not the 2015 group. Cate was good at first bc I liked the angle of "G-Day PTSD and survivor's guilt" because it was cool! And then I found the plot of the Dual Families super interesting but then. It felt like nothing happened. And also she went from enjoyable to annoying because she started acting like a teenager and not the almost 30's she's supposed to be Kentaro was just kinda there but yknow what, I relate to being a tired sad artist who's dragged into family tragedy so whatever. His mom was also super sweet and I felt so, so, SO bad for her. May uh. Yeah she's there. I guess. It feels like she's just there to be [maybe?] Cate's slow burn love interest and is there so someone can betray the mcs. In the last few episodes it feels like she's only there for Apex to be connected to the show in some way and it's like? Okay? I guess this is happening. Pretty cool that she's Bi tho. Bill, Kei and Shaw on the other hand? Oh my GOD I LOVE THEM. I love Bill and Kei's relationship so much. I love how sweet Shaw and Kei were and made me actually care about a LOVE SUBPLOT!!! Which I always find boring or forced!! But they were sweet!! I love how the writers were a little too accurate with how the uh.. social climate? was back in the 60's. I think it was also smart to have Kei's kid be neither Bill or Shaw's, but instead her husband who died in the bombings, although I do NOT like the man he grew into. Really wish they didn't 'sacrifice' Shaw in the way they did because it was really stupid imo. Like bro, how aren't you being dragged towards the portal? The GIANT METAL BALL was, how are you not? I would have preferred he simply sacrificed himself while trying to plug the machines again. The way I would of written it is that prior to getting out the Orb, he and Kei have their sweet n' sad final moment together while in the safety of the metal coffin. He jumps out and has his struggle with the cables, only to be eaten by the Ion Dragon the very moment he succeeds. The machines get tossed around by Ion flying with the cables in his mouth, only for Godzilla to legitimately save the day and knock Ion tf out the way he does regularly and The Gang gets thrown into the portal that way. Also I'd make the fight scene last longer than like. 1 minute. It was over before I realized it and I was so bwomp :( Also I liked the ice dog thing earlier in the show. uh yeah that's it from me.

[dadvans]

for your wip game, 5 and 7!

(For the WIP Meme) (Asks Open)

5. SidNateAndy

(see here for other response)

“So,” Andy was saying while Nate pulled up one of his playlists from the passenger seat, “Bedsy was telling me--”

Nate choked out a stoned laugh. “Bedsy, eh? Making friends already.”

“Yup,” Andy replied, popping the P and sliding his hand from the gear shift to high up on Nate’s thigh. “Just like watching you get jealous is all.” 

“Sure.” Nate’s breath hitched as Andy’s hand slid a little more up his leg.

“Anyway, Coach Bednar and I were talking, and he put me on a little reconnaissance mission since I told him I was staying with you.”

“Fuck off,” Nate said. He grabbed Andy’s hand that was moving dangerously close to his fly and dropped it back down across the barrier in Andy’s lap. “You can tell him I’m not interested. Tell him that I didn’t want to talk about it. Cause I don’t.” 

“Babe, you know we’re talking about the captaincy, right?” They were stopped at a red light, and Andy had the fucking audacity to look at Nate, to lean forward and try to catch his gaze and hold it. “You never told me about this. Or Sid. At least, he didn’t tell me. What’s that about?”

Nate glanced at the light: still red. He bowed his head and thought of what he could say.

By the time the light turned green, he still hadn’t thought of anything. He ducked his chin into his shoulder, staring out the window and feeling kind of pathetic. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Andy. It’s not a big deal, there’s nothing to know.” 

“Nothing, okay,” Andy repeated, sharp and sober. He pulled his hand away to grip the wheel and make a sharp turn. 

Nate let the silence sink in for a few moments and dig under his skin. It eroded his high and made him squirm. He broke in under two minutes. “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you.” 

“This?” Andy repeated again, just as annoying.

“Yeah, this,” Nate said again. “I didn’t tell you and I didn’t tell Sid, because I don’t need anyone trying to change my mind. I made up my mind before they ever even asked, because Gabe asked me first, and I told him no too. I don’t need this fucking assault, man.” 

Andy shook his head, his jaw visibly tensing as they hit downtown traffic. “What about anything I said suggested I’m trying to change your mind?”

“I mean, you said Coach mentioned it, he put you on this mission, and uh,” Nate said, but he felt a burn up his neck when he realized that had been the beginning and end of it. 

“I was just wondering why you didn’t tell me,” Andy replied. “I mean, Nate, you have to know by now that I wouldn’t ever try to force you into any direction you were uncomfortable going--”

Which, yeah, Nate did fucking know, and the implication that he didn’t would have taken him out at the knees if he were standing. He said, hastily, “Of course I know that, you know I do.”

“No, I don’t,” Andy said. The sound of his skin as he gripped the steering wheel a little tighter was like a groan. “I don’t know, Nate. And I lose a lot of fucking sleep over it.”

Nate’s rage was receding like the tide after an earthquake, a tsunami of shame sure to follow in its wake. He said, “C’mon, Andy, you know I’ve been drinking. I’ve been on edge ever since Joe said something at the front door, just ready to snap at the next person who said something to me. It’s not you, it could have been anyone, and I--fuck, I’m making this worse, aren’t I?” 

“You aren’t making it better.”

Nate sighed. He did trust Andy, more than anyone else, and his rational brain knew that Andy would never do anything to betray that trust or act against Nate’s or anyone’s best interests. Andy was the guy who nursed Sid back from the brink of retirement during his year-long concussion, for Christ’s sake. Andy was the guy who took Nate’s drunk dial from Europe when Nate found out Tyson had been traded to Toronto, and Andy was the one who talked him through that night. Andy kept his marriage from his own fucking parents for a whole decade, had protected Nate’s secrets since Juniors, and he was eventually the one who let Nate dictate the terms of getting fucked up the ass for the first time down to the letter. No relationship was perfect, but in terms of being totally transparent and trustworthy, Andy had never failed Nate. 

[changingplumbob]

Chopra Household: Chapter 5, Part 2

Cassandra heads to work leaving Rahul to get the twins fed and in bed. Of course it's hard to deal with twins on your own and few things go to plan. Alexander stops by briefly to check in, then Cassandra works with Savannah on her numbers

Back home Rahul and Cassandra share a romantic kiss in the rain. Inside Savannah is sitting on Mercedes bed playing with a toy while Mercedes is in the lounge dancing. Rahul heads in to check on them and Cassandra takes the chance to license her songs for the week. I’m still annoyed she can only do one from each instrument per week. After a bit of guitar practice she heads to work.

Rahul cleans out the old food from the fridge then faces the mess Mercedes made in her high chair. I do wonder how it got so messy, and what cleaner is strong enough to clean it, but it looks like Rahul found a magic one. After checking the fridge Rahul places a grocery order. We have the simple living lot challenge which means we need the exact ingredients we cook with, batters and doughs now included since Home Chef Hustle.

When the groceries arrive Rahul gives his tip like always and goes back inside to find Savannah has made her way to the blocks.

Rahul: You okay there honeybee

Savannah: I prac- I practise?

Rahul: Practice, you got it right

Savannah: I practice stacks

Mercedes comes into the room sniffling away

Rahul: What’s wrong little ladybug

Mercedes: I miss mama

Rahul: Mama will be back right after work

Savannah: Mama work get money for us

Mercedes: I miss mama

Mercedes: *sniffles* I want go see mama

Savannah: No, mama come back for us

Mercedes: But I by rye self

Rahul: Myself Mercedes. My- self

Mercedes: Oh. I by myself papa

Rahul: Yes! But you’re not by yourself

Savannah: I here. Papa here. Baby here

Rahul: Actually the baby is with mama

Savannah: How? Why?

Rahul: Because the baby is growing, and the baby can only grow inside mama

Mercedes: What grow mean

Savannah: Get big?

Rahul: You’re right. If something grows it gets bigger. You two are growing right now

Savannah: I grow first

Mercedes: No I grow thirst

Savannah: No, I grow first

Mercedes: NO. I grow thirst

Rahul: Listen darlings, it’s dinnertime. You’re both growing, that’s what matters

Rahul: Nice fresh veges, eat up Mercedes Rahul leans down and picks up Savannah to carry her to her own high chair. Mercedes takes the opportunity to launch a sneak attack on the food. Once again it goes flying!

Rahul: MERCEDES

Mercedes: *squeaks*

Rahul: What did we talk about today

Mercedes: Food… go fly

Rahul: No. We do NOT waste food. We do NOT make a mess for papa or mama. It’s BAD to make a mess

Mercedes: *sniffles* I big bad mess

Rahul: Look at me Mercedes. YOU are not bad

Mercedes: I… not bad? But food go fly, big bad mess

Rahul: Food flying is bad. Do not do it again Mercedes. Mess is bad. It doesn’t mean you are bad if food goes flying, you’re still learning little ladybug

Savannah: I want to eat papa

Rahul: Good, here you are

Savannah begins to dig right in, she has a good appetite after all.

Rahul: Now Mercedes, what are we going to do with this food

Mercedes: Eat?

Rahul: Yes. And what will we not do

Mercedes: *sighs* fly food

Rahul: That’s right. Now eat up, veges are good for you. They’ll help you grow

Dinner is almost finished when Rahul smells something foul on the air, someone soiled their diaper!

Rahul: I don’t know who needs a change but I have to clean up first

Savannah: NO! I make yuck ew

Mercedes: *giggles*

Savannah: This you fault! You not make food fly, I make potty

Mercedes is not convinced by this accusation. It would probably help if she knew what fault meant. Rahul assures Savannah he’ll just be a minute but she melts down into a full blown tantrum. It’s hard being fussy.

Rahul: Change time Savannah

Savannah: NO

Rahul: but you just complained

Savannah: I made yuck ew, you let Mercedes out first

Rahul: She was closer honeybee

Savannah: NO CHANGE TIME! I mad! You smell my yuck ew

Rahul: SAVANNAH

Savannah: To cold for change time papa

Rahul: Savannah, if we don’t change your diaper you’ll get uncomfortable

Savannah: NO PAPA

Despite her protests Rahul knows that leaving Savannah in a used diaper for the night is not an option. He carries her to the change table and changes her diaper while getting her in her sleepwear. She is highly betrayed by the whole exercise.

Rahul: Okay honeybee, snuggle down

Savannah: I no want papa

Rahul: I know Savannah, but sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to

Savannah: NO. I no want YOU

Rahul: Well I will want you as my daughter forever, you’re stuck with me

Savannah continues to fuss away but Rahul talks to her until she calms down and falls asleep, exhausted from her tantrums.

Rahul: What are you up to little ladybug

Mercedes: I go potty by my- myself

Rahul: You did? I’m so proud of you for trying that

Mercedes snuggles close while Rahul carries her to bed

Rahul: Now can you be quiet snuggling in, Savannah’s only just fallen asleep

Mercedes: I bee good papa, I bee good. Kai it

Rahul: Have good dreams Mercedes, papa and mama love you

Cassandra arrives back from work to find Alexander has come over to visit. She welcomes him in, takes off her raincoat, and shares the news.

Cassandra: Rahul and I are having another one

Alexander: I’m going to be an uncle to three? That’s amazing Cassandra

Cassandra: I wish I could tell mum

Alexander: Yeah, there’s a bunch I wish I could talk to her about. I try to be positive around Milton but..

Cassandra: You just miss her? So do I. So much

Rahul: How was work

Cassandra: Don’t ask. There’s this guy called Hampton Reynolds and he was trying to undermine me all day

Rahul: Is he going to be a problem

Cassandra: Probably, but I’m pregnant, so he’s not a problem for now. How was your afternoon

Rahul: Mercedes decided to make her food fly

Cassandra: Again? Why? It makes such a mess

Alexander: As fun as your calamities are, I better head home

Cassandra: *laughs* See you at the baby shower

Rahul: Oh and Savannah told me she didn’t want me as her papa

Cassandra: Oh big guy, I’m sorry. Do we know why she said that

Rahul: She didn’t make it to the potty in time and had to use her diaper. Then she blamed everyone else for making her have an accident

Cassandra: She blamed Mercedes?

Rahul: Mercedes didn’t understand so wasn’t upset by it. They’re only toddlers. I’m sure they’ll both wish us away at times

Cassandra: I didn't expect them to get so upset about the baby. They’ll have to get over it though because I’m excited

Rahul: Me to my darling, me to

Rahul: How did you sleep

Cassandra: Pretty good

Rahul: And how did the baby sleep

Cassandra: *laughs* I think they did okay, come feel

Rahul: I’m so amazed that you can basically make a whole new person in there

Cassandra: How lucky are we

Rahul: The luckiest. And the twins will have to get over not wanting a baby

Cassandra: Because this one won’t be our last

Rahul: I’m sure they won’t. I do plan on having many kids with you Mrs Chopra. It’s such a shame household sizes are capped at 8

Cassandra: If they weren’t we’d probably become an overpopulation crisis

Rahul: You know, the girls won’t be awake for some time yet. We could just pop back to bed-

Cassandra: Don’t be ridiculous

Rahul: Why-

Cassandra: We’ve got plenty of space right here Mr Chopra

The two of them are still smitten when they head out to the kitchen. Rahul puts the leftovers on the table and Cassandra marvels at some tiny belly kicks.

Cassandra: Maybe this one will be an athlete

Rahul: Just so long as they inherit your good looks

Cassandra: You’re sweet

Mercedes and Savannah toddle into the room and everyone takes time to say good morning before Rahul decides to head out for a run. It’s raining but loving the outdoors, he doesn’t mind.

Cassandra: You okay Savannah

Savannah: I made ew yuck again

Cassandra: In the potty or-

Savannah: No

Cassandra: How about we go change it huh? It’s not nice sitting in ew yuck is it

Savannah: It not. We can change

Cassandra: Good girl. Maybe later we can practice on the potty

Savannah: Can I has flash cards mama

Cassandra: Let’s just get you clean first

Cassandra: What number is this

Savannah: *scoffs* it two mama, it two

Cassandra: Look at that, it is two. Which number comes before and which number comes after

Savannah: One, two, three

Cassandra: How about this one

Savannah: *thinks hard* it… it six mama?

Cassandra: It is! What comes before and after

Savannah: Five, six… help mama

Cassandra: Five, six, seven

Savannah: SEVEN

Previous Part ... Next Part

[the-ultimate-deer-hunt]

My Blog for ENG 211-Deer Hunt

Hunt #1 10/25/24

My alarm awakened me at 5 am, a sound I hate but in this case, I loved. The only time waking up early is acceptable is when I go out to hunt. I put on my warm clothes, consisting of long johns, insulated pants, long-sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, and vest. I set out to my tree stand in a field behind my house where I have caught multiple deer on my game camera in the previous 3 weeks. I make the half-mile long trek along the treeline until I see my stand, perfectly camouflaged within the trees. It sits pearched, angled out towards the huge potato field. I climb up the 12-foot tall stand, and once I'm on top, the true beauty of nature sets in on me. As I look out, I can see over the tops of trees, and the vast hills rolling up and down the country side. And the most striking thing of it all is the straight-on view of Mt. Katahdin way out in the distance. With the skies cloud-free, it was the perfect time for viewing it. I could see the white caps, and the ridges rolling up and down the mountain. Just as I am getting settled in, I here branches cracking and leaves crunching. I look behind me and cannot see what it is. After 10 minutes of hearing these sounds, I can make out the entity. A small doe was approaching my stand about 15 yards behind me, coming from the opposite place I was looking out to. Although this is shootable, no way I'm wasting my tag on a tiny doe. Its strange for it to be alone, but I let it pass through no worries. I wait for another one to reveal itself. The most annoying thing is when I'm out squirrelly hunting I never see as much as when I'm hunting for something else. I must've seen 20 squirrels whereas any other time id be lucky to see 5.

It's now 9 am, and I've been sitting for 3 hours with no other sight of a deer until now. All a sudden I see a deer appear out of the treeline before me. Again, its all alone and sadly not a buck I've been looking for. This one was bigger then the last, but still not going to shoot it. I go back to my house for lunch and plan on coming back a little before dark.

Its now 4pm, and I make my way back to the stand. Once I am finally on top, the scenery I take in takes my breath away just like the last time. After sitting for about 20 minutes, I see a partridge fly into a tree next to me. I was tempted to shoot it, and it wouldn't be the first time I've shot a bird with a deer gun, but I didn't want to spook anything around me, so I decided against it. Looking back at it now, I should've shot it because I didn't see any more deer.

Although the hunt was unsuccessful, I still enjoyed every minute of it.

10/30/24

Deer season for Maine residents does not officially start until Nov. 2, so I could not hunt deer this week. That didn't stop me from going out anyway to scout the places for deer. At a crisp 12 in the afternoon, I decided to go out. I brought my shotgun for birds just in case I saw anything. The first thing I did was ride my four-wheeler out back to my tree stand where I got it ready for the weekend. I brought out a blind and wrapped it around where I sit, for added camouflage. I also brought out a homemade gun rest made out of two-by-fours in a U shape that I screwed into the tree.

Once I finished with those things I climbed back down and hopped back on my four-wheeler to go off to the next spot. I followed a 2-mile long four-wheeler trail deep in woods to a cabin built next to a pond and a field. As I am riding up to it, I see movement in the field through the trees in front of me. I shut off my four-wheeler, and peek around the trees. Standing about 150 yards in front of me, I see six deer grazing the grass. Two of them are huge bucks with racks to match them. I take out my phone and immediately take videos and pictures of the animals. One in particular, I could see had the biggest rack I have ever seen in person. It was hard to tell how many points, but I could see at least 8 but I know there were more. I get up and slowly walk back to my four-wheeler, trying not to spook them, but they somehow saw me and sprinted away towards the trees. This encounter sent a rush of adrenaline through me, making me more excited for the first day of deer season. I thought if only I saw them during the season, I could have taken down a trophy buck.

I decide to head home since it is late, and I zoomed back to the house to tell my dad. I park the four-wheeler and just as I'm walking in, I notice a movement near a tree about 20 yards from me. I investigated and it turned out to be a grey squirrel which Is unusual to be around where I live, and was the first I've seen at my house. They tend to be a lot bigger than red squirrels, and I decided to shoot it. It did not go to waste, and I cleaned it and fried it up. They taste almost like chicken.

To conclude, I'd call the day a success, and it was pretty cool to witness the deer I saw.

11/4/24

This morning I had no school so you know what that means. It's a brisk Monday at approximately 5:50 in the morning without a cloud in the sky. The thermometer reads 34 degrees, so I bundle up in my warm clothes once again, and set out to my tree stand. I put on three layers of clothes because sitting still in the cold does not build up much warmth. I make the mile-long trek across the fields to my tree stand. One of the best parts of going out early is looking up and admiring the countless stars in the sky.

Once I'm up in the stand, the view gets me every time. I am lucky enough to get a great view of Mt. Katahdin again and I notice even more snow on the caps than last time.

My first sighting of an animal was at roughly 6:30. A red fox streaks across the field, pausing for a few seconds to look at its surroundings, then returning to a sprint until It disappears into the trees.

The second sighting I had was the target species. A doe and her fawns peek out for a few minutes and return back into the trees. If only I had a doe tag I would've picked one off right into the back of its shoulder.

At about 7:10 I heard a loud BANG off in the distance. Not shortly after I get a text from one of my buddies who lives about a mile through the woods from me. "Deer down," he says. It was a good size six-point, definitely a deer I wouldn't have passed on. Lucky him.

Sadly I have school at 8:15 that I can't be late for. It is 7:35 and I call it a morning.

I get back from school at about 2 and I set back out, eager to shoot a buck.

Because of the time change, it gets dark at 4:30 which is stupid. I don't see a blessed thing so I stomp back to my house and drink a root beer.

Today was not great, but there is way more to come in the future, and I will get my deer.

11/5/24

Today I had to pull out all the old stakes around the field where we used to have cows so I did not have a lot of time for hunting. I did not have school this day so after I ate a breakfast consisting of eggs and toast, and I set out to the field. It was pretty warm out today, and it was around 60 degrees. It was perfect weather to do something like this. It is a 17 acre field, so this is not a job I will get done in the near future. I don't know why my mom wants me to do this because I personally think they look good, but she thinks otherwise. I bring the right tools for the job, wire cutters and a razer blade because there are 3 different lines going all the way around. The top one is barbwire, the middle one is a plastic electrical line, and the bottom is a regular metal wire. I first have to roll up all the wire before I can pull the wooden stakes out.

It takes me roughly two hours of miserable work to do 500 feet worth of posts. I almost completed the short side of the rectangular field. I counted 45 posts in total.

I get fed up with this task and go back to my house to eat lunch.

At around 2:00 I get my gun and bundle up in warm clothes to go in my treestand. One of these days I'm bound to see a buck for once instead of a doe. It gets dark now at around 4:30 so I don't have a whole lot of time left on my hands.

I scurry out to my stand and climb up it.

I see absolutely nothing besides a squirrel I was tempted to blast with my deer gun.

The hunt was once again not successful, but I believe one of these days I will get what I am looking for

11/8/24

Todays hunt felt different. I had a feeling when I went out after school that I was going to see something. And I was right.

I got home at 11:30 because it was another early release day from school. I watch TV for a little bit until around 1 and I get ready for hunting. It is cold and windy so my warm clothes came in handy. I decide I want to hunt in a different location since I have not had much luck in my stand. I have the perfect spot to go. I climb up in my haybarn, and the bales are stacked just high enough for me to peek through the rafters and see out to a different field. I am looking out onto an old rectangular potato field, where wheat is growing, which would attract some deer. Shortly after I post up, at around 2, I see my first deer. A doe, once again but the rut for deer is heating up, so I know a buck will follow her out. I was not wrong. At around 3, a young spike horn buck appears on the furthest side of the field about 280 yards away. I had my crosshairs fixed on the back right shoulder, as it grazes grass. I accommodate with the wind and distance so my shot is accurate. The wind is blowing east, coming from my side, so I adjust and move my crosshairs a little west. I am about to take a shot. All the sudden, it spooks after only being in the open for 15 seconds. It darts towards the trees, and I let one fly. I knew I had missed, but I still walked down to try to find a blood trail. After searching for 20 minutes, no blood was found. This miss hit me hard, but I know that a bigger buck will come out again in the future. All you can do is forget about it. I go back home since it is getting dark and I'm fed up.

Every road has bumps in it, and all you have to do is cruise over them and don't let it bother you. I keep my head high for the next hunt, and I can assure I will not miss my next opportunity.

11/12/24

I awaken before school at 5:30 for one reason and one reason only: a big buck. I feel different today, and I'm going to take down the buck I've been searching for. I make my morning coffee and then journey out to my treestand in the dark. The sky was cloudy today, so I couldn't stargaze. With the wind, it was around 25 degrees, and I was absolutely freezing.

I watch the sunrise in my stand, and the sun brightens up the sky, spreading an orange, red, and pink hue across the horizon. Nothing was spotted in the morning, but little did I know what was to come later.

I get home from school, and go out to my stand once again. I could feel the temperature dropping which may be bad for my comfort, but as it gets colder and colder, the deer start to move around.

It was roughly 3:30, and it just started to get slightly darker when I spot movement off in the distance about 250 yards away, close to the treeline. A Doe pops out in a gallop, followed by another deer. This one with a great rack of antlers sitting nicely on the top of his head.

The day has come, and I finally have a shot of the big buck I was looking for. I adjust slightly for the wind, aiming a little to the left since the wind was blowing right.

He's focused on his lady doe, but little did he know I was aiming a 7mm-08 sniper rifle at the back of his shoulder.

I wait for the wind to die down, and I switch the safety off and slowly pull the trigger. BOOM. The bullet exploded out of the barrel, headed straight at the buck.

I knew I hit him when he jumped and kicked his back legs. He barrelled towards the treeline, and I was hoping he wouldn't go far. I go to the site of the scene where I shot him, and see I splotch of blood and the grass.

I knew I was in for a search, and as its getting dark, I go and get my dogs to help hunt for the beast.

11/12/24-continuation

It is 20 degress out with the wind chill in the pitch dark, and Im in the middle of the woods tracking down the deer with my dog. The illumunination spreading 10 feet in front of me from my headlight is my line of sight. I stumble upon a great beast laying by a log with leaves disguising it. I have found my deer.

I started the hunt for it at the place I shot it, where I saw the initial blood splatter. I track it about 20 feet and I reach the treeline. I searched all over for signs of blood. Nothing. My dog also happened to be nowhere to be seen. I call her name but she does not come right to me like she usually does. I realize it was a bad idea binging her out, and that she was not going to help much at all. I let her be because she always comes back.

I focus on the main target, and keep looking for tracks of anything. I see where something big had barreled through the woods, with leaves flown up in spots and limbs of trees snapped right off in a clear path. I follow where it leads, and there he is, posted up by a log. My dog wagging her tail right next to him.

I hit him right where I was aimed right behind the shoulder, piercing through its lungs. About 100 yards away from where I shot it. I call my dad out and he helps me dress it and we take out its organs so they don't ruin the meat.

We drag it all the way home and hang it up with a homemade deer hanger. We take it to a place to get it tagged and weighed so its legal. I have finally accomplished my goal after many hours dedicated to it and it couldn't have felt better.

11/12/24-11/18/24

That same night we brought it to a certified deer tagging place. In Maine, if you don't tag your deer, its considered poaching which is a felony in most cases. I myself, did not want a felony charge at 15. It weighed in at 160 pounds without its guts, which is pretty average. It was a typical 6-point buck, which I will take any day of the week. We load it back on the truck and take it back home.

A couple days later, we take it to a butcher my father knows, and he cuts it up. He makes some sausage with some of the meat which is something I've never tried but I know will be good. We are left with a few big boxes of meat. Deer meat is by far my favorite game meat out of any other animal. Its unique tastes of rich, earthy flavor with hints of herbs, sage, and acorns. It's similar to beef, but its leaner and has a finer texture. We give some to all my family members including my grandparents and my Aunt and Uncle.

Out of all the cuts there is, the tenderloin that is along the back, is by far the best piece. I also tasted the sausage too, and it was not bad at all, but I like my regular sausage better.

The thing with killing deer is you get the triumph of taking one down, but its worth it just for the meat alone.

11/19/24

Now that I have shot my deer this year, I'm all tagged out and cannot shoot another. This doesn't stop me from going out with one of my buddies, Jacob who hasn't shot one yet.

Tuesday afternoon after school, we posted up in his heated deer blind in a big open field close to his house. We are at the edge of the treeline, looking out upon the old cow corn field that was cut a month ago. Because of the food source, it's the perfect place for deer to go. It is about 3 o'clock when we spot the first deer. He has been having the same problem as me, and the only thing he sees are doe. There aren't enough Bucks, and they are too smart to come out in the light most of the time. Seeing one is very rare, which makes shooting one a great achievement. Three of them came out grazing the leftover corn scattered over the ground. It is getting into prime rutting season, which means the Bucks are going around spreading the seed. It is likely at this time of the season to see a Buck wherever a pack of does are, but this time there is none.

We pack our stuff up at around 4:30 when it got too dark to see anything.

Though unsuccessful, having a hunting buddy is much better than being alone, and we both appreciated it. I look forward to returning again and seeing him take one down.

[blog-reflection]

One / Four - Screaming Lights

[Phone vibration]

It is 8 o'clock in the morning. I got woken up by my phone buzzing somewhere in my bed. I was unable to figure out the exact location of it, which led me to believe that it's buried under my pillows. It took a while but I did managed to grab my phone. The screen displayed 8:50 in the morning which meant that I've been looking around for a solid 5 minutes. I turned off the alarm and glanced towards my tablet. This tablet is the most important thing in my life. I mean, I have everything on it. Time table, Backups from almost everything, my passcodes, the support Mail for the registrations, you name it. I opened the time table which had one thing scheduled for today. Registration.Great, I couldn't think of anything more fun than to register dozens of students that are attending the school all over the UK south side. Well, seems like I have some stuff to do, so better get started right?

I unwrapped myself out of the blanket, grabbed an oversized shirt and walked downstairs. Mildret was already at work, so I had time for myself. I put on my headphones,and fired up my spotify right before I opened the app for the registration. I realized I haven’t had a proper meal since I’m back from my grandparents, so I decided to make myself some breakfast. I danced through the entire kitchen while mixing the batter for some pancakes, including me almost letting loose of the bowl and spilling batter everywhere. But I saved it, more or less in a gentle way, but I kept the mess low. I spilled the batter in the buttered pan and baked them till they were soft and golden. Pancake after pancake was flying through the kitchen until one after another was piled up on the plate. I opened all the cupboards panicking that we’ve run out of syrup. That was when I found the syrup which I dropped down onto my pancakes. I also reached for the blueberries to finish off the plate. I went upstairs and left the mess in the kitchen for later.

At my room, I shut the curtains and turned on my fairy lights while eating my pancakes and registering people on my bed. Today I worked on Truham Grammer and Higgs. It's weird to read those names all over again when you stayed in that school for about 2 years. I can picture almost everything. I dropped school after year 13 and started working in jobs that are even more cruel than the one I have right now. Jesse was the one who gave me this very job, which I’m really thankful for. I was bragging how much I've hated all the jobs before and personally I think they just got annoyed. They have known I'm pretty good with keeping everything in order and signing stuff up so they asked around. Turns out no one wanted this job so they were quite desperate to have someone who works for them. On the bright side, I can work from home and I have chances to get to all southern schools in the UK if I can't do it from home. The salary isn't amazing but I have my own cloud that I can do the way I want. 

I also managed to program my second tablet only for this, while the other is my “private” one. In case it wasn’t obvious, yes I freaking love touch displays and couldn't imagine anything else or working with anything else. It allows me to easily set up everything without spending ages on one single person. 

I wonder. How are days at Truham now? I know that they've struggled to find a new headboy after the last one. I know that because they wanted me to be the follow up. But since I already knew that I wouldn’t stay for my finals I had to say no. And yes I’f I wouldn’t change schools I would like to be headboy. As headboy you can at least feel like you have some influence on what happens around you. I glanced at my clock on the wall, 11am. Usually, I would already finish one class but today I’m rather slow. I don’t know why though. I assume this has something to do with what happened yesterday. I still can’t believe that she made such a big thing out of it. Well anyways, getting stuck on thoughts about her won't make me work faster. I decided to call it a shot and get back onto Royal Holloway, one of the prettier places. Royal Holloway feels like an Elite University while looking like it belongs in a fairytale. The registration is already done but no matter how hard I try I still can’t get the liberty sorted. Royal Holloway features a massive, and relatively new, liberty building right in front of the founder’s building. This year, they included a new access app combined with chip-entry. It’s pretty and modern, but apparently it’s not working. Multiple students and faculty members claimed that their entry chip doesn’t work. It’s not *that* big of an issue but it can be really annoying. Mostly because the faculty members in the liberty have to be ready to open the doors for anyone who can’t get in.  However, Julie Sanders, the principal of the school, mentioned that “it is a big security issue, which has to be dealt with as soon as possible”. I understand her, and she’s more than right. It's just not an easy code. I mean I could just walk right to the tech student’s but then I’d be depressed. I want to achieve the goal myself, no matter how hard I try. I told her it’s going to take some time since the stuff we use is hightech and difficult to mess with, which she understood. But I promised her that it’s done by Christmas-Break! She did not like that timeline since it’s still 3 months but I try to get it done earlier. 

I booted up the access app and streamed it to my monitor, which is also usable by touch. Lot’s of numbers and lights that scream in an unknown language something like “help me” and “end my suffering”. I bet that some of these sven send out morse code which literally translates to that. It’s like taking a look into what could be a digital version of a brain and I wonder. Do I have light’s in my head that scream and blick all the time? I cough because I was laughing at my own imagination before taking a closer look. Who am I kidding? I have no Idea what this is, nor what I’m doing or supposed to do. All I do is look up youtube and copy them step by step. But at this point in time, I gave up. I emailed the support and have been waiting for an answer ever since. I turned off all the tech stuff and took a look out my window. It was a nice gray and cozy day, perfect for a cup of tea. I went downstairs to get the kettle on fire, when I realized that the kitchen is still a mess. I fired up the kettle and started cleaning. It was at that very moment, I noticed Mildret arriving. There are multiple things that could happen now.

She comes up and murders me

She starts yelling

She cries and walks outside

She doesn't care and just walks back to the living room 

Just chucks something at me.

I was surprised when she just didn’t give a damn and went upstairs. I mean she gave me the look of a really disappointed mother but that’s it? That’s when all of a sudden, I hear loud noises coming from upstairs.

What the hell is she doing?