#I made a cursed tweet as a tumblr post because I have followers here

[discluded]

My Top 10 memorable 2022 MileApo moments 💚💛

In no particular order,

Mile defending Apo and telling him he's not weird. Mile Phakphum #1 apocolleague #1 Apo defender #1 Apo protector 😖

2. Whatever they put in the water that day at the XBlush shoot 🥴

3. The Moon Represents My Heart at KPWT Taipei (curse you one video per post Tumblr limit). The audible gasp and excitement from the audience when they realized what song it was!!!

4. MileApo at the Vogue Thailand Gala. Everything about them and how beautiful they were... Mile had just gotten out of COVID isolation #2 and now they had a Vogue spread and were mingling with the movers and shakers of the Thai ent industry. Also specifically these boyfriend soft launch selfies 😖

5. Paper Mile at the KPWT send off. This one was bittersweet and making the best of a bad situation... Apo was doing his best to have Mile be included but even Apo was not his usual sparkly self. The appearance of paper Mile per the request of quarantined Mile really put the smile back on his face.

6. Sharing dessert and water in the Red Sea Film Festival IGL

7. Apo taking this sexy photo of Mile in Phuket and immediately being exposed as the photographer. Thank you @ apovision for God's work and thank you @/may for exposing them.

8. Mile replying to this tweet. Yeah it's a tweet. Yeah he interacts with many fan tweets. But trust me, this is the one that made all of us deranged. It's the reason why I'm deranged now. I think about this all the time.

9. Mile and Apo kissing live at KPWT Bangkok. I'm just going to make peace with the fact that we're likely never gonna see another live kiss at a KPWT show again. But we got this one.

10. Holding up the pride flag together at KPWT Taipei. Wasn't Taipei beautiful!?! 😭 It was a beautiful moment for the entire cast and the audience, since it was Pride Week in Taipei 🌈

Bonus: 11. Meeting all of you 🥰💕 Yeah I'm sappy as heck, what are you gonna do about it.

If you've ever sent me an anon or liked or reblogged one of my posts or followed me or stalk my blog but don't have a Tumblr or written fic or drawn fanart or written meta or made gifs or made edits or trended for MileApo, thank you for making fandom a fun place. If you've learned anything new about yourself or the world or changed your perspective in life because of anything I reblogged, I'm glad something I said or did affected you 🥰

We often talk about about when being in fandom is annoying, but really, it's a community. If you've stayed, thanks for embracing respecting each other and loving KinnPorsche and loving Mile and Apo and the people in their lives (which includes all of us!)

Maybe the real MileApo was the friends we made along the way 🥹🥹🥹 (Mile would agree because he is equally sappy like me).

Many other beautiful memories I wanted to include... but I loved these so much. It was hard picking favorites, but I'm gonna 😤

Bonus runners up:

Looking like a royal couple at their first fan meet

KPWT Seoul date (are you going to give us the video or not BOC...)

Apo lifting Mile in the KPWT Taipei behind the scenes video

Mile discretely rubbing Apo's waist underneath his suit jacket at the D7 event 🤭🤭🤭

KPWT Taipei goodbye (x2)

(alright no more for real or else I'm gonna be here all day)

[veryace-ficrecs]

Social Media Fic Recs

One of my guiltiest and pickiest pleasures in fic are twitter fics! This list is made up of some of my favorite in the category, including socials other then twitter.

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

The Martian:

The Mark Watney Report by AsperJasper - Rated G

Space Pirate-Ninja @MarkWatney nasa must agree with me if they only censored my f*uck a little bit last time i tried to swear at martinez they replaced it with an emoji

Space Pirate-Ninja @MarkWatney this is what power feels like: making some poor person at nasa decide which curse words are appropriate to be tweeted out over work wifi

You Know You Have a Permanent Piece of My Medium-Sized American Heart      by tricatular - Rated T

“Hey Hermes!” The ambient suspicion level in the Rec ratcheted up significantly. Kapoor was disturbingly cheerful. “We’ve sent you some mission updates in the data dump, but Mitch and I wanted to personally let you know—” Mitch visibly rolled his eyes in the background. “—That thanks to some…strong suggestions from the White House, and on Annie and Director Sanders’ recommendation, we’ve started releasing Watney’s Mars logs to the public.”

Marvel:

Caption That by maddo - Rated T

Peter’s Instagram had been pretty popular since Instagram’s account noticed and reposted one of his photos, an impossible angle of the New York skyline (thank you Spider-Man) and was floating at around twenty thousand followers.

Then suddenly, @pparker was in the top 100 most followed Instagram accounts.

Just a bunch of little anecdotes regarding our favourite spider and his Instagram account, feat. a meme-tastic Tony Stark.

The Life of Spidey (As Seen Through A Spider-Man Fan Account) by hi_im_jared_19 - Rated T

Spidey-is-a-disaster @chaoticgoodboy

Disclaimer: I appreciate Spidey stepping up to help others. If more people acted like him, the world would be a better place. He is undeniably a good person. That being said, he is an entire human disaster, and I’m here to prove it.

OR

Spider-Man's rise to popularity through the lens of a random twitter account dedicated to his dumbassery.

the conspiracy kids by tempestaurora - Rated T

Series: 3 Works

in which peter, harley and ned ask the all-important question: WHO IS SPIDER-MAN? 

one mask at a time by natelette - Rated T

Spider-Man is unmasked, and the world reacts.

Or how Peter, the internet, and the entire world deal in the wake of Mysterio’s video. Spoilers for Far From Home.

DC:

The True Identity: Bruce Wayne by November_Clouds - Rated G

makayla | sc mkyla457 @mkyla456        lmao watch him go off        [attached: Video of Bruce Wayne in business casual clothes screaming as he charges towards The Penguin brandishing a long black pipe. Behind him is the main center for the Martha Wayne Foundation, front windows shattered and reception desk on fire. The Penguin looks Scared.]      

After a tweet goes viral, people think they've finally figured it out. The real identity of Bruce Wayne.

Red Hood.

(social media fic, based off that tumblr post)

Gotham Online by julidoesnotwrite (notjuli) - Rated  T

The Waynes and the Bats as seen through social media.

gotham : a conspiracy thread by noahfense (orphan_account) - Rated T

ti(i wanna die)m @nightwingsass

the real reason Batman hasn’t responded to my conspiracy thread is because he’s jared,19,

-

in a world where Jason Todd didn't die and Tim Drake has parents that actually care about his wellbeing, Tim runs a popular batfam stan account and his followers convince him to start a YouTube channel.

Yuri on Ice:

Night is Young and the Music's High by opalish - Rated T

"Best press conference ever," the Japanese Nationals silver medalist says when asked.  “Ten out of ten, would medal again.”

"I would die for Katsuki-kun," Minami declares, with terrifying sincerity.

  On ICE!!! by Watermelonsmellinfellon - Rated M

The first time Katsuki Yuuri saw Victor Nikiforov perform, he realized he had a great desire to see figure skating in a video game. In fifteen years, his dream is realized. Little does he know that Victor's attention has been caught by the very game he unknowingly inspired. So ensues the cutest meeting ever and the relationship that follows.

Love Born in the Eye of the Storm by ScribblerQueen1 - Rated T

After a snowstorm cancels their return flight and all the hotels are overbooked, Yuuri decides to detour home to wait it out. He offers to let other stranded skaters stay at Yuu-topia, he just didn't know one of them was Victor Nikiforov. 

(i'm) the boy you'd die for by jenmishe - Rated T

v-nikiforov ✓

[Video: A short clip where Victor is laying dramatically on the couch with miserable expression. “Heartbreaker” by Marina and the Diamonds is playing.]

13,481 likes

v-nikiforov✓ Am I the another one? (((

vitYASS victor,,,, honey,,,, i lvoe you so much,,,, but WHY are you like this.

red-blue-gay but??? does that mean that somebody has broken victor’s heart???? I DON'T UNDERSTAND

christophe-gc ✓ You’re ridiculous.

starsaregay But who recorded it?? Makkachin???

vityathebabe user @starsaregay asking the real question.

--- The adventures of Yuuri "Heartbreaker" Katsuki, or: how Yuuri became known as a cold player full of himself who doesn't care about anyone. (Hint: it's an anxiety and obliviousness.)

Haikyuu:

Framing by Fayah - Rated M

At age 22, Kozume Kenma had millions of subscribers on youtube, one blissfully fucked out Hinata Shouyou on his bed, and a plan. 

conflict of interest by zukushou -Rated T

“If you are familiar with the world of D-1 volleyball, chances are you’ve heard the names Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio. Both twenty-four-year-old athletes are famous for their skill and athletic prowess, but they’ve recently become household names for their intense rivalry.

Early this year, Hinata Shouyou signed onto the MSBY Black Jackals as a wing spiker after a two-year stint in Brazil, playing beach volleyball. He was an unknown in the V-League, but he quickly proved himself with his defensive skill and incredible jumping height and speed.

It wasn’t until the fateful Schweiden Adlers vs. MSBY Black Jackals match just yesterday that viewers came to the realization that Hinata Shouyou was the long-awaited rival of Kageyama Tobio.”

OR

Kageyama and Hinata are married. The press seem to think that they’re hostile rivals who despise each other.

On Great Rivalries and General Dumbassery by NocturnalNights - Rated G

It's not exactly that they were hiding the fact that they had been married for about 7 years now. It's that no one seemed to have caught on yet.

Or: Kageyama and Hinata may have forgotten to mention one very important part of their rivalry.

Good Omens:

 it's a new craze by attheborder - Rated T

CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan. AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we? CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all. AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous. CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.

***

Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast.

But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?

hear that bell ringing (but won't get the door) by Rivran - Rated T

Social media: 1 Aziraphale and Crowley: 0.

These could all be read standalone, but it’s better if you read them in order. No, yeah, you should definitely read these in order. Each story features Aziraphale and Crowley, with a supporting cast of human characters for that sweet sweet outsider POV.

It (movies):

Retweet Verse by plinys - Rated T

Series: 12 works

A collection of post-It Ch2 fics that are a mix of domestic Richie/Eddie and social media interactions from all the Losers.

Buzzfeed Presents: 10 Times Richie and Eddie Tozier were Very, Very Married by kyaticlikestea - Rated T

Stanley Uris @surisaccounting I was going through my most recent photos and came across this nice one of @richietozier and @etozier at their wedding last week. Congratulations to the happy couple. They’ve never looked better. [attached image is a photo of two penguins arguing]

Richie ‘My Husband is Also A’ Tozier ✔ @richietozier replying to @surisaccounting Hey @surisaccounting take down that tweet or I’ll keep doing this [attached image is a photo of a Common Potoo, which has been incorrectly labelled ‘Crow’ in Comic Sans font]

Buzzfeed makes a list of all the times Richie and Eddie Tozier, beloved husbands of the Internet, were incredibly married. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it isn't a short list.

Nicest Celebrity You've Ever Met? by atomicteaparty - Rated G

Richie Tozier is a loudmouth guy who can’t be kept down by any woman at all! He’s a party animal who’s constantly meeting new people and living up the party lifestyle… or at least, that’s what his onstage persona is.

What if people who’ve met him realize he isn’t the same guy in real life?

Or: Some people talk about how Richie Tozier surprised them on reddit

14 Reasons Why Richie Tozier and His Husband Are #relationshipgoals by robin_hoods - Rated M

Get yourself a man who looks at you like Richie Tozier looks at Eddie. 

areas of expertise by dudski - Rated T

The Exoneration of Richie Tozier by Blissymbolics - Rated T

COMEDIAN RICHIE TOZIER VOLUNTARILY CONFESSES TO STRIKING AND KILLING AN ESCAPED CONVICT IN WHAT MAINE AUTHORITIES ARE CALLING A JUSTIFIED HOMICIDE IN DEFENSE OF ANOTHER

Tozier reportedly struck the assailant on the back of the head with a blunt object in defense of his childhood friend, Michael Hanlon, a librarian who lives in Tozier's hometown of Derry, Maine.

I killed a clown. AMA! by liesmyth - Rated T

I (39M) got stabbed twice today and now I want a divorce. Help?

Or: the one where Eddie is on Reddit.

October 14, 2016.

@PuzzleStan is:

-A puzzle enthusiast named Stan (44%, 3553 votes) -An anonymous stan of puzzles (44%, 3602 votes) -A puzzle enthusiast named Stan who is leaning into the wordplay (12%, 969 votes)

Misc - For Fandoms with only one fic:

#thatjacksonkid by The_German_Grim_Reaper - Rated G

Fandom: Percy Jackson

Following an episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, several twitter users do their best to uncover the truth about Percy Jackson.  They get surprisingly far.

 Mr LAFD Updates Man by hammersmiths - Rated T

Fandom: 9-1-1

Series: 2 works

Eddie mans the LAFD Twitter account. Buck tries to be supportive.

Audience: 822,000 and Homeland Security by WerewolvesAreReal - Rated G

Fandom: Leverage

Hardison starts a live-stream for Dragon Age to show off his new mods. And he kicks ass. But his viewers are actually a bit more concerned about the angry guy in the background of his videos, and the blond chick who keeps peering through his windows.

"Is this some kind of performance art," asks peskytroll341.

Actually Me - Eddie Munson by Savi_Yoi - Rated G

Fandom: Stranger Things

This idea was bouncing around my brain at 3am so I just had to write it down.

Eddie is a famous musician. Gaining fame through the 90s with Corroded Coffin. Him and Steve have been together since 1987, but they were always very private about their relationship. Steve is like a cryptid in the Corroded Coffin fandom, with very little information about him, and very few pictures. Eddie is promoting a solo album in 2021, and Steve is pulled on camera to do a silly interview with him. They're about 54/55 in this fic.

This is the transcript of that interview.

[strawhatkia]

✧ do not interact & before you follow !

if you are apart of this list, you will be blocked immediately

as you have seen from my pinned, i am anti-dark content, which means i am against the sexualization and/or romanticization of harmful topics such as incest/stepcest, r*pe [noncon/dubcon], minor x adult, incels, racism, homophobia, misogyny, ddlg (including all variations), pedophilia, gore, vore, snuff, etc. -> if this you, seek therapy and block me !

racists. homophobes. transphobes. ableists. trump supporters. pedophiles. gatekeepers. people who send hate on anon, and all around rude, disrespectful, and mean people in general. sexist/misogynistic. nazi/nazi supporter. anti-feminism. anti-semitic. (enter here)phobic. ‘superstraight’ or support ‘superstraights’. headcanon characters as anything relating to basic dni criteria. romanticize mental illness death, s3lf h4rm, ed’s, or suicide. if you write, support, and/or enjoy dark content. if you bash or talk down on minors. if you ship illegal ships, including incest/twincest.

people who believe in the following . . .

- “[insert here] wouldn’t date [poc] bc of…”

- “i think that [insert here] wouldn’t care for BLM or ACAB.”

- “[insert here] doesn’t like [gender/sexual identity] people.”

also, i block empty/inactive, ageless blogs, and spam likers that don't reblog. and yes, i am checking every single one. i need to know you not a bot shawty.

do not recommend me on platforms outside of tumblr especially tik tok. no translating my work anywhere (without permission). no reposting. no using for asmr content. no plagiarizing.

i reclaim slurs !

i am down for interaction ! whether we follow each other or not, do not be afraid to pop up in the inbox !

don't ever interact with me sexually. you wanna talk about the latest chapter ? sure ! my ### life ? nah, shawty, nah.

until we have a couple of conversations, don't come cussing at me or in offensive tones. i have anxiety and anger issues, i will shut that shit down immediately and you'll be due for a block. when in doubt, use tone indicators !

with that being said, if i made you uncomfortable or i've upset you, let me know. I'll ask for clarification if not given and apologize. i'd rather you just tell instead of sub-tweeting because then I'll just add to the fire.

i use terms of endearment like love, sweetheart, sweetie, honey, etc. because of i'm cozy like that <3 let me know if that makes you uncomfortable.

ngl my posts range from sweet and cute to random to...well, so check the tags to make sure you block out the right things !

i like constructive and respectful criticism. i'll curse your bloodline if you ain't got nothing nice or helpful to say.

do NOT bring up things about politics or religion, or bring up topics such as r4p3, su/c/de, s3lf h4rm, pedophilia, 3at/ng disorders, depression, etc.

this is not a discourse blog, please take that shit elsewhere ! (you're on the wrong blog hun)

if you send me hate, be prepared to have niggas in your inbox blowing yo shit up. just don't do it stink !

[twistedsin]

sango I missed your posts! good to see you back!

whAt... 

[bogkeep]

i talk a lot of shit about twitter, and it's my other main social media so i'm Allowed To!!!! however. i am feeling charitable today

twitter PROS:

- if you're actually interested in networking and opportunities, that's where the people are. it's a more public space. i am mutuals with some really cool people and i get most of my commissions through there.

- artist twitter is a thriving community!! there's designated hashtag posting days like portfolio day, women artists/nb artists/transmasc artists, drawing while black, and random art challenges and many other fun ways to discover and be discovered.

- muting and blocking functions that actually work! you can even turn off retweets from specific people on your feed if you only want their original posts!

- locking your account (or making a Secret Locked Side Account) is Quick Easy and Free

- there is good content on there. otherwise there wouldn't be so many screenshots of tweets on tumblr

- has not banned nsfw content as of yet

twitter CONS:

- all the cr*ptobros are there. oh god there's so many of them.

- all the celebrities are there too. there's also a bigger and bigger overlap with said cry*tobros.

- n*zis and t*rfs galore

- i was going to say "it's hell" but hell is empty and all the devils are on twitter

- everything happens so much.

- everything happens so much ALL THE TIME.

- as much as i enjoy artist side of twitter. if we have to debate whether or not using references is cheating one more time i am going to implode. every week there is a new art discourse. i am so sick of art takes and i studied art history for four years.

- the discourse cycle is unfortunately not exclusive to art twitter. every corner of twitter has its own set of discussions that it just feels the need to rehash on a regular basis, i'm sure. if you are a regular tweeter you will feel pressured and compelled to Add Your Take because it's the topic of the day and it feels weird to just ignore it and talk about other things. i'm not immune either! it's a hard life!

- tumblr is not the only site riddled with bad faith and poor reading comprehension. i'm pretty sure that's a curse upon every public space on the internet, and twitter is VERY public. also, tweets have a character limit, so if you want to say anything with any nuance at all, you're probably going to have to write a whole thread. know what else twitter has? a quote retweet function. the PERFECT way to take a statement out of context and recontextualize it. you can actually limit who replies to your tweets or turn off replies completely, but you cannot limit quote retweets.

- there's certain words that trigger bots to reply. if you say the word 'essay' uncensored, you'll immediately have five replies with "PAY FOR ESSAYS HERE!!!". or famously if you reply to art with "i want this on a t shirt" the print on demand sites pop up instantly.

- similarly, there's lots of shitheads who are not bots but don't have anything better to do with their life than to search for certain words and then harass anyone talking about these topics. i made an incredibly lukewarm tweet about t*rfs in like 2014 and immediately got some awful quote retweets. my friend said she wanted to punch t*rfs in 2017 and t*rfs mass reported her account until she got locked out of it. if your account isn't locked, you do actually have to be careful with what you tweet. i can't even make jokes about norwegian culture without getting some real weirdos in my mentions who are a litte TOO protective of Dear Precious White Scandinavian Culture

- if a tumblr post is good, it will circulate. it will be brought back every now and then. it will be immortalized in our museums and mausoleums. if a tweet is good, you will see it posted every couple months by different twitter users. not as memes, just plagiarism. i know Joke Credit isn't a big deal but it grinds my gears.

- you can see who other people follow, their follower counts, and their liked posts. terrible design really

- never meet your heroes

- this may be a pro for some, since it can Also be used for good: tweets can get Featured in news and articles or otherwise impact irl events. isn't it horrifying how much of a role twitter has on politics and things outside the internet sometimes? the only site using tumblr posts for anything is buzzfeed

- i'm so exhausted

IN CONCLUSION - different platforms are good for different things. twitter can be a genuinely useful tool. but also

twitter bad.

[jcfoxington]

@sambambucky​ : “pls... Pastels, Peaches and Pain??? among us first draft??? marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts (it’s not an au!?!??!)

hi jo !!! Pastels, Peaches, and Pain is one of those sambucky wips i have mostly fully fleshed out in my head because of one (1) extreme moment of clarity after a rogue ‘what if’ tangent thought but havent written anything of yet out of restraint / knowing i need to finish at least one of my current sambucky wips before i start it or none of them will get done

this was the rogue tangent thought: “what if Sam is haunted by Figaro’s ghost and has been since he was a kid?”. i’ve changed the ghost cat to not be Figaro but that’s the premise !

i refer to the fic as the cat fic ‘cause the whole plot is based around sam’s ghost cat companion insisting he adopts nat’s cat Liho after endgame and then Figaro later and then [insert redacted because plot spoilers but just know it relates to Alpine]. no im not projecting my feelings about cats idk what youre talking about 

here’s some note snippets just for you:

the cat, inexplicably, takes a liking to bucky, which is really annoying bc sam doesnt know how to explain to him that all the oddly soft gusts of wind are actually sam's dead cat insisting on getting pats

bucky getting shade thrown at him by said ghost cat during all of tfatws + them making up (and not out. yet)

starts when sam's a kid & follows him as he grows up w/ a ghost kitty as a companion only he can see & interact with + angst with an undertone of comedy + getting together

he whispers to ghost kitty, who simply mmrrs happily

for the among us first draft thing, what basically happened is i saw this tweet and this video and my brain latched onto these dynamics so hard i had to write about them. 

here’s a sketch of my two main imposters, Black (left) and Cyan (right):

and here’s a snippet:

The thing having Cyan pause and stare out at the asteroid field is how the colors stretch to family. When they and Black came aboard, they had thought every crewmember was an adult working on the planet-change project. That the patch of off-white with a black something-pattern-or-shape signified status. In a way, Cyan supposes it does, but just not the way they expected. They had expected it to show what rank an individual held within the hierarchy of the crew, from deckhand to division leader to captain, not to show that you're family of the crew and not actually part of the crew itself. 

There are innocents on this ship. Children. It was not something any of them had anticipated, and not something Cyan had been prepared to deal with. They and Black boarded this horrible place to eradicate a threat, believing each and single one of the humans were accomplishes and dedicated to the goal of destroying Cyan and Black's species, and their planet. But, now?

marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts... doesn’t have a wip title or seperate document for itself yet cause it’s been stuck in my ‘story ideas’ document since its creation. so ‘marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts’ is literally just me describing the vibe of an original world gjkerfkds

the world came to be for two reasons. firstly, i want to do make take on a superhero universe because the plot and complete lack of communication in both the dcu and mcu piss me the fuck off. secondly, needed a place to dump ocs with elaborate backstories or fantasy / sci-fi abilities that dont fit into any of my existing worlds

which sounds super competent but trust me, it isn’t. it didn’t gain any solidity at all until i decided to do a personal ‘how different can i make spn castiel look & still retain the same vibe?’ challenge. i have my own cas now

however, the reason i said ‘marvel meets...’ is because i’ve snagged a couple of different things from the mcu, most notably: enemies to reluctant coworkers to lovers, yes our best friend have the same name. no they’re not the same person, secret evil org is controlling the government, and the assassin that tried to kill you several times is now your best friend

warframe was added to the world because i got attached to my Volt build, gave them a name, and have some headcanons idk what to do with because i refuse to interact with that fandom. also because the friend i made through discussing warframe lore + plot dicked me over so it feels Bad to create for

the glue to this whole mess is that one “in every friend group there’s a mean bisexual, an even meaner lesbian, a she/they, a he/they, a himbo, an astrology bitch, a short king, and a token straight” tumblr post. my main group of superheroes ala the avengers consist of these people. the token straight is the only one i havent figured out who is yet

ever since i figured that out ive been throwing story / character ideas and weirdly specific aesthetics from popular tumblr posts into this world’s notes. here’s some examples:

sword grandmas

that trope where someone’s really nice and acts super well-adjusted to society but then they do something super whack and dangerous and you realize ‘oh they’re secretly a little bit insane, actually’

anti-gay group’s leader’s wife leaves him for another woman

superhero who swore to be the best hero [city / planet / solar system / continent / ????] has ever seen ever since he lost his wife. not because she’s dead but divorce just sucks & the hero-to-be is terrible at coping

dishevelled swamp witch

that one person who runs around with an amulet all the time & isn’t aware it’s cursed

an exasperated, tired superhuman assassin running after their husband and their husband's best friend. their husband and said husband's best friend both have wings. chaos ensues (yes, this one is a sambucky post)

ask me about my WIPs!

BONUS:

@sambambucky​​ : #i want to have a coffee and listen to synopses of all of these.... #i miss the discord wow #WRITING TAG #waitttt time jumping dream movie? lmao I'VE READ THIS LIST FORTY TIMES and every time i rediscover something i wanna know about #outfit doodlesss ugh i need to go

couldnt not respond to your tags because they make me go ghrkjfnerknf but in the good way. we miss you too jo !!

the time jumping dream movie was one of the first vivid dreams i had and the whole thing was so stupidly coherent and whacky i had to write it down. it grew plot, a queer love dynamic, weird sci-fi apocalypse elements, anti-military propaganda, questionable science, and a sequel while i wasnt looking and now i just. have to make it a real movie or i’ll combust

outfit djoodlles.png is only on there because my best friend sent me a ‘draw this outfit’ meme and space kitty, my current character brainrot, stole all the outfits for himself. otherwise, that file just sits there until im feeling like designing an outfit or wanna see how a stupid thing looks on my oc patrick

here’s one of the two poses-to-doodle-outfits-on of space kitty ive made so far:

and here’s one of those stupid things on patrick (that then turned into an actual outfit of his because i have no self control):

[cerealboxmaterial]

If you’re being bullied on this site share this!

HERE WE GO!

Topic: bullying

Disclaimer: Here’s a middle finger to all the bullies out there. You know who you are.

A majority of these topics that I’m bringing attention to are a common theme across Tumblr. People complaining about followers, or not being reblogged is massive.

I’m pushing the reblogging topic back for now.

What’s NOT getting attention, is also a common theme across Tumblr, and needs to be immediately addressed/shut down is-

-bullying.

There was an individual on here that was specifically targeted, their abuser made an account with the user's name and tacked a false accusation on the end.

First off, who the fuck does that?! Yes, I’m calling you out.

Seriously, you made an entire account solely for the purpose of bullying someone? What the fuck is wrong with you. Let’s not forget the number of anonymous messages sent the individuals way that was being bullied telling them to “kill themselves.”

Can you honestly imagine going up to someone in person and telling them to “kill themselves?” Probably not, but you have no problem sending an anonymous message telling them to do so behind your computer screen with your mighty keyboard.

You’re pathetic.

In their community guidelines, under ‘What Tumblr is not for,’ is an itty bitty section about harassment. When you go to click on it, if you’re trying to help someone out, the most you get is a message stating:

Okay, I understand that, makes sense.

If you’re being attacked they give you ‘four options,’ listed below.

I was curious so I clicked on “I’m being targeted and harassed” and all I received for ‘help’ was this.

...Tumblr, you’re solution is blocking? Blocking? How in the hell does that solve the issue of bullying? They created an entire blog dedicated to slandering and bullying the individual, plus their ‘ minions’ personally attacking them, and you suggest blocking?

Your guidelines, my friend, are absolute bullshit. “Just block the haters.” Okay, yeah, that’s step one. What’s step two?

Are you going to remove the blog that’s bullying someone or keep it up?

I reached out to the individual being bullied and guess what:

The blog still exists!

Even after several people have chimed in, the individual blocked them, and they reported the blog, it’s still up!

What’s your damage Tumblr? Why are you allowing them to keep their account? Do you realize the psychological damage cyberbullying and bullying in general does? Just knowing that it still exists causes anxiety and shows that you clearly don’t care about the individuals being targeted on your site.

“Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur through SMS, Text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content. Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It can include sharing personal or private information about someone else causing embarrassment or humiliation. Some cyberbullying crosses the line into unlawful or criminal behavior. The most common places where cyberbullying occurs are: Social Media, such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr, and Twitter.” Source

Again their blog name was the name of the blog they’re targeting, and it’s an entire freaking blog dedicated to bullying.

You all did a porn blog purge but gloss over bullying accounts because all the users on here should just block ‘the harassers?’

Other social media’s bullying policies:

Facebook's policy:

Twitters Policy:

DeviantArt's Policy: (reached image limit)

Twitter's bullying policy is probably the best policy across the social media board. It’s clean, simple, and straight to the point. Taking care of the accounts that bully others.

Notice how Tumblr’s bullying policy is 18th, 18th in line with the other policies. While Facebook is 9th, DeviantArt’s is 5th, and Twitter is 5th under Safety and Security.

Twitter has an entire section dedicated to abuse.

And all Tumblr has is an itty bitty paragraph about harassment telling you to block the haters???

Tumblr’s vague harassment policy

???

Okay, now what? Do you send an auto-generated response? A ticket? Reassuring them it will be addressed that they’re in a queue and when it’s their turn you’ll address it? Well that clearly didn’t happen because it’s still fucking up.

What if it’s too late? What if they decide to self-harm or it drives them to suicide?

What I don’t understand is why your section on harassment is so small when you can create an entire blog, not just a tweet, AN ENTIRE BLOG that bullies especially on a social media site this massive!

Facebook

“Creating or posting content to Pages or Groups that are dedicated to attacking individual(s) by, for example” which is what happened on tumblr

“Sending messages that contain the following attacks when aimed at an individual or group of individuals in the thread”

Targeted cursing

Calls for death, serious disease or disability, or physical harm” again happened on tumblr

Facebook has a policy about creating pages or groups that target an individual.

But y’all just let it slide on here when it comes to blogs. That’s cool, it’s not like minors use this site at all.

Cyberbullying is the number one contributor to suicide and your solution is blocking? You all need to sit down and rethink your “bullying” policies because they put the ‘bull’ in ‘bullshit.’

~Sincerely,

Salty Cereal

[kalimagik]

How You Get The Girl

Based off of the song “How You get the Girl” by Taylor Swift 

Tom Holland x Reader 

<4K

Warning: Some cursing...but a lot of floooof - I just love happy endings, so be ready! 

A/N: Here is the second part that follows my last fic “The Moment I Knew.” I wrote these ones a while ago an wasn’t sure if I wanted to share them or let anyone else read anything until my friend convinced me to start putting them on Tumblr, so I hope you like it! It you do, like, comment, reblog, or follow. Happy reading <3 

*Not My GIF! Credits to Owner

It had been about 6 months since Y/N left her flat in London to spend some time back at her childhood home with her family. She had hoped that being around everything familiar would help her to forget the past year and a half and life she had built in London. She had gotten drunk with her friends, but that didn’t help. She would wake up startled in the middle of the night by dreams about how things used to be. They seemed so real to her. Once the holidays ended, Y/N knew she needed to go back to London before the New Year. As much as she wanted to avoid the holiday by staying at home, she needed to get back to her post in London. 

Once leaving the airport, Y/N found a car to take her to her flat. 

“Could you take the bridge?” Y/N asked the driver.

“Are you sure? That adds 20 minutes,” the driver responded.

“Yes please. I’m in earlier than expected and am not due back for a while.” 

The driver nodded his head and put the car in drive. Y/N looked out the window and with each corner the car drove by, the memories came flooding back. There was the coffee shop where she had met Tom. There was the market where they did their weekly shopping together. There was the arcade where Tom had won her a large plastic ring. There were just too many memories. Y/N snapped her head forward to look at the road ahead of her. The red light in front of her cab lasted forever, but that was fine with Y/N. 

“Is it going to be alright?” Y/N thought to herself. 

The glaring red gave her a feeling of the unknown. She didn’t know. 

-

-

“Common, Y/N! Don’t do this!” 

“TOM! I told you! I can’t just wait for the time where I will fit into your life. I need someone who makes themself as available for me as I do for them. I need someone who is committed to this relationship. Jacob and Zendaya made it for my party and they’ve been just as busy as you. I cannot take the excuses anymore,” Y/N yelled through the tears.

Tom had been in her flat for nearly two hours trying to plead his case, but it didn’t do anything to change Y/N’s mind. She pulled out the largest suitcase she had and started packing. 

“Where are you going to go?” he asked. 

“I’m going home, Tom. I need some time away from here. Can you please just give me that?” 

“When will you come back?” 

“I don’t know. I bought a one way ticket. I need to be near my family,” Y/N blurted as she threw sweaters into her bag. 

“Sweaters? It’s summer time! Are you really going to run away from this?” 

“I’m not running away! I’m finally choosing me! Can’t you understand that?” Y/N turned around to face him for the first time in nearly an hour. 

“Can I at least call you? Or come and see you?” he asked hopefully. 

I would really prefer if you didn’t. I need this time,” Y/N responded as calmly as she could. 

“Will you call me when you come back?” Tom tried again. 

“I don’t know. Good luck, Tom. Maybe I’ll see you again,” Y/N said with so much pain. 

-

- 

Y/N wiped the few stray tears from her eyes as the cab pulled up in front of her building. Seeing it for the first time in all those months just reminded her of why she had left. Nevertheless, she pulled herself together, picked up her bags, and climbed the steps to the place that had once felt like home. 

Walking inside, she turned on the old lights, the electricity flickering after having not been used for so long. 

“Hello house,” Y/N whispered as she took her place all in. 

Not a thing had moved. Zendaya asked to stop by just to bring her mail in and the pile was all that showed that someone had still lived there. Sitting down her bags in the kitchen, Y/N went through her six months of mail to see if anything caught her eye. 

“bill, bill, magazine, bill, six bank statements, magazine, invitation…” Y/N stopped as she looked at an envelope addressed to her. 

There wasn’t a return address, but Y/N easily recognized the handwriting that spelled out her name. She flipped it over, trying to decide if she wanted to open it, when she read on the back flap ‘I’m really sorry. Please just read this…’ 

She couldn’t do it though. She threw the envelope back on the table and stared at it.

*RING RING RING*

Y/N jumped as her phone went off in her purse. Finally peeling her eyes off of the letter, she went to fetch it. 

‘CALL FROM Momma’ her phone screen read. 

“Hi Mom!” Y/N answered, putting on a smile even though her mom couldn’t see it, “I just got back to my apartment, haven’t quite settled in though.” 

“That’s great to hear! I just wanted to check in and make sure you got back alright,” Y/N’s mom said excitedly through the phone.

“I did, thank you. I’ll tell you all about my trip tomorrow though, I’m feeling drained from it and just need to get myself settled.”

“I understand, honey. I’ll let you go! I loved having you home! Love you, Y/N/N.”

“Love you too, mom. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Bye!” Y/N ended the call and let out a deep breath as she looked around again.

Before heading up to her bedroom, she sent Daya a quick text telling her that she was back in London and grabbed her bags to lug them up the steps. 

 -

-

*BZZZZ*

“Give me a minute!” Zendaya laughed as she walked away from her group at the pub to check her phone, “Oh my gosh…” Her face went straight.

“What is it?” Harry asked her as he took a sip of his beer.

“Y/N’s back in London,” Zendaya said just as surprised as everyone else at the table. 

Upon hearing the news, almost every pair of eyes went to look at Tom.

“Did you know she was coming back?” someone asked him.

“No. I haven’t heard from her in six months. I was starting to think she wouldn’t be coming back,” Tom answered slowly, “Did you know she was coming back, Zendaya?” 

“She had told me a few months ago that she was going to eventually, but never said when. I’m just as surprised as you to be hearing from her,” the actress answered honestly. 

“Should we go see her?” Harrison asked almost timidly. 

“She said she is turning in early tonight. It was a long day of traveling,” Zendaya said as she read the message a little further. 

“Tom, you okay?” Tuwaine asked as Tom sat there silently. 

“What do I do guys? I obviously still love her…” Tom finally said as he thought back on the last six months. 

He could barely think about going on dates with anyone else, so he didn’t, despite his friends urging him to. He checked her social media almost regularly and asked Zendaya constantly if she had heard from Y/N. His work was just something he went to and did every day, but he didn’t care about it. It wasn’t the same without her there. He was a complete mess until 2 months into her being gone, his mom convinced him to write a letter with everything he was feeling in it. 

He wrote down everything he wanted Y/N to know. He knew that she had asked him not to contact her, so he sent it to her flat hoping that she would read it when she was back in London. It didn’t make him feel much better because she wasn’t there, but it allowed him to continue on with everyday life even if he was still hurting. Hoping that maybe she would read it was really what kept him afloat. 

“Do you think she read my letter?” he asked no one in particular. 

“She didn’t say anything about it…” Zendaya answered, “but maybe she hasn’t gone through her mail yet. There was six months’ worth!” 

Tom could just nod his head.

“What do I do?” he said hopelessly, “Do I wait until she calls me? Do I go and see her?” 

“Let me try and talk to her and see where she is first, Tom. Don’t do anything too irrational,” Zendaya tried to talk him down. 

“Fine. But I need to hear something about her soon…” 

 -

-

Y/N tossed and turned the first night back in her bed. It wasn’t that it was uncomfortable. In fact, it was like a cloud that had been puffed just for her, but the letter sitting on her kitchen table seemed as though it was screaming. Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about it and wondering what Tom had to say to her. Maybe that he had found someone else and moved on. Maybe that he didn’t love her anymore. Maybe to say that she had been wrong about the whole thing and he could never agree with her. Every possibility went across her mind and none of them were good. 

Flipping over one more time, Y/N checked her phone. 2:30 AM. She should be sound asleep right now! Lightning flashed light through her curtains and her ears were filled with the sound of rain drops hitting her windows and the ground outside. 

Letting out a loud sigh for no one but herself, Y/N threw off the blankets and got out of bed. She quickly went down the steps, flipped on the kitchen lights, and held the letter in her hands for a second time. She looked at it for what felt like an eternity contemplating whether or not she should open it. 

Not bringing herself to do it, she carried it back up the stairs, sat it on her night table, and scrolled through social media to distract herself. She favorited some tweets and then switched to Instagram. That’s when she stumbled across a picture that Sam had posted around the time she got back. She could see the smiling faces of all the people she had met through Tom. In the middle of them was the smiling face of Tom himself. Y/N hadn’t really let herself explore the feelings she might still have for Tom. She had felt the pain for so long that she just wanted to be numb to the whole thing. This picture though, seeing him in a natural setting for the first time in months, opened the floodgates. 

Of course she still loved him. How could she not? She had spent the last six months avoiding all thoughts of him, but apparently the simplest picture brought back all of her feelings. How could she know if he had still felt the same way? It had been six months. 

That’s when, without thinking, Y/N grabbed the letter from her bedside table and used her fingers to open it up. She examined the few sheets of paper and the handwriting that was so clearly his. 

‘My Dearest Y/N it started. Reading the words brought tears to Y/N’s eyes. She wouldn’t let herself sob though. She read Tom’s sorry’s and tales of how he was such a mess without her. Y/N’s heart opened for him, but the letter dated 2 months after she had left…A lot could have changed for him in the four months that followed. But he signed it ‘With all of the love I could possibly possess, The boy whose heart is always yours’ How could anything change that much? 

*BZZZZ*

Y/N sat the letter down to look at her phone screen. It was Zendaya.

‘I see you’re active on social media at 2:30 AM. Go unlock your door. I’m coming over to see one of my best friends for the first time in MONTHS!’ the text read. 

Y/N laughed as she could hear Daya’s voice through the text. 

She quickly slid the letter back into the envelope and put it into her bedside table drawer. She pulled a sweatshirt over her head and went down the steps to unlock her door. She slid into the kitchen to put a kettle on the stove and make some tea. 

“Knock! Knock! KNOCK!” Zendaya called walking through the door.

“In here, Daya!” Y/N called as she pulled out her assortment of tea. 

“You are looking absolutely radiant!” She smiled as she popped into the kitchen. 

“I look disgusting. I didn’t even shower the plane off of me,” Y/N laughed. 

“I don’t think that matters. I haven’t seen you in six months! You look beautiful in my eyes,” she said as she wrapped Y/N in a hug, “How have you been? I’ve barely heard from you at all?” 

“I’m really sorry for that. I was living in the moment at home, ya know?” Y/N tried to explain.

“I get it. Are you doing better? Are you here to stay?” Zendaya pried. 

“I think so. I missed London. I missed my life here. I couldn’t stay away.” 

“That makes me happy to hear! London missed you too! Plus, I am so sick of being around boys all the time! The group needs you!” 

“Daya…” Y/N slowly said, pouring the water, “I don’t think I’m going to be hanging out with the group. I’m sure they don’t even want to see me…” 

“What are you talking about? I was with them when you texted me and Harrison asked if we should come see you right then!” 

“Wait…You were with them when I got back? So they know I’m here? All of them?” Y/N tested, not wanted to come right out and ask about Tom. 

“Girl! You do not have to do that with me! Just ASK ME ABOUT TOM!” 

“How is he?” Y/N asked timidly, blushing at Zendaya’s directness.

“He hasn’t been himself. You have to know this is killing him. He misses you. For fucks sake, he was asking me about you every day!” 

Y/N looked down at the mug in her hands, trying to figure out how to proceed with this subject. 

“You should just call him,” Zendaya interrupted her thoughts. 

“I can’t do that. I’ve picked up my phone a million times…” 

“It’s up to you, but he will answer,” Zendaya encouraged. 

“Thanks, Z. Can we be done with this now?” 

“Sure. Only if you tell me all about your time at home! Spill!” 

Y/N smiled as she began to catch up with her with her friend at 3 AM. 

 -

-

Three gloomy days had gone by and Tom still didn’t have any word on the girl he loved. She’d been in London for three whole days and hadn’t called him. The silence was deafening to him. He couldn’t take it any longer. He needed to do something. 

“Guys. I need to make a gesture. I have to see her.” 

Tom was breaking as he stood in front of his friends. 

“Have any of you heard from her? Haz, you grew pretty close with her. Can you give me anything?” 

“Tom. If she had reached out to me, I would have told you right away. Why would I keep that from you?” 

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, mate. I’ve just been on the fucking edge. Why hasn’t she called?” 

“I wish we knew. I really wish we did.”

As the boys contemplated what Tom should do, Zendaya finally made an appearance after three days.

“Long time, no see!” Harry joked, “Where have you been hiding?” 

“I’ve, uh, been with Y/N actually. We had a lot to catch up on…”  she responded, looking at everyone but Tom. 

“Did she say anything about me?” He asked, hope in his eyes. 

“Tom. You know that’s not my place.” 

“Please, Z! I’m going out of my mind here. I’m trying to respect what she asked of me, but I don’t think I can much longer.” 

“We did talk about you, but she wasn’t giving me much. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. Thank you. Do you think I can go see her?” Tom asked. 

“It’s up to you. I don’t know. Like I said, I can’t get a read on her.” Zendaya tried to explain. 

“I’m going to see her. I need to. What should I say to her? I don’t want to come on too strong.” Tom asked. 

“Tell her how you feel. Tell her what you know she needs to hear. I think it could be romantic,” Tuwaine chimes in. 

“I’m going to do it. I’ll see you mates later. Wish me luck! Z, don’t tell her that I am coming. Got it? I can’t have her running away again.” 

“Fine, Tom. Go get her.” 

 -

-

London was rainy this time of year. It was always rain or snow and today, the rain was coming down harder than the day that Y/N had gotten back. She had finally unpacked everything from her six month excursion home and picked up the packages that she had shipped back to London. 

For the first time, Y/N was able to flop down on her couch and relax. She flipped on the TV to watch a Christmas movie (after Christmas). The sound of Anna Kendrick talking calmed her down and the sound of the rain made her eyes start to flutter as if sleep would come at any minute. 

*Knock, Knock, Knock*

Y/N was so startled that she shot right up. She wasn’t expecting anyone, so she didn’t know who it could be. 

Wrapping a blanket around her, she made her way towards the door. 

*Knock, Knock, Knock*

Whoever this was, they were not very patient. Y/N looked out the peephole, but couldn’t see anything because of the rain. She unlocked each of the locks that lined her door and opened it up to come face to face with a drenched Tom. 

“Are you insane, Tom?! You are going to catch pneumonia!” Y/N looked at him in shock.

“I need to talk to you and I will stand here until you let me,” Tom said while looking her straight in the eye. 

“Come in I guess. I can’t leave you out there.” 

Y/N opened the door enough for Tom to walk in. She had no idea what she was feeling or how she was going to be able to talk to him. 

“What is it Tom?” Y/N asked as they stood in her front hallway. 

“Please, please, just let me say this,” he asked.

“Okay,” Y/N nearly whispered as she wrapped her blanket around her tighter. 

“It’s been the longest fucking six months of my life. Back at your birthday, I was too scared. I couldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear. But love, I want you. I want every bit of you. For worse and for better. I will wait forever for you. I know that I completely broke your heart, but I will do everything I can to be the one to put it back together for you, if you haven’t done that already.” 

Y/N looked at Tom with teary eyes. She didn’t know what to say, but Tom wasn’t done yet. 

“Y/N. This is my absolute favorite picture of us. I couldn’t bring myself to change it after you left. I messed up so badly. I have not been able to forgive myself for it.” 

Y/N looked at his screen saver. The picture had been one of her favorites too. It was their first Christmas together. Tom took Y/N to see the place in London with the most beautiful Christmas lights. She had been in awe and so excited at the same time. Tom couldn’t stop holding on to her all night. One of their friends had snapped the picture of them right as Tom kissed Y/N on the cheek with his arms wrapped around her waist. It really had been a perfect night.

“Y/N?”

She snapped out of the happy memory.

“I know that there is no excuse for why I wasn’t there that night and why I didn’t even call you. I had to of lost my mind then. There is no excuse for it. I left you all alone though and I was too much of a coward to tell you why and I’m so sorry. I don’t expect you to say anything to me right now, but I’m telling you, I will wait forever for you. You are my person. I just need you to know that.” 

Tom finished his speech. He definitely hadn’t prepared at all, but that was how he felt. 

Y/N knew it must’ve been so hard for him. She couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her face. Tom had just poured his heart out to her, but she didn’t know what to say. Was it okay for her to just go back to him? She was so confused. Her head was telling her that she couldn’t in order to avoid any kind of pain later, but her heart was a different story. Her heart wanted her to open her arms and take him right back into them. She hadn’t stopped loving him over just six months. He was all she thought about and cried about and dreamed about. 

“Okay, I know I said I didn’t expect you to say anything now, love, but could you give me some sort of sign?” 

Y/N realized that the two minutes she had sat there pondering, must’ve seemed like an eternity to Tom. 

“I’m really just trying to gather my thoughts, Tom. I knew that I’d see you again, but I honestly didn’t know what to expect or what I would do. I don’t have anything to say that is nearly as beautiful as that, but I did miss you. I missed you so much Tom…” 

Y/N finally looked up into Tom’s chocolate eyes, which were twinkling like when she first knew she loved him. Let’s be honest, she knew she couldn’t let him walk away. She still loved him. And the feelings she felt for him didn’t come around for people very often in a lifetime. 

The tears fell faster from her eyes as she tried to wipe them away. 

“Hey, hey. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Tom looked so worried for her. He slowly inched forward, putting out a hand to wipe the tears for her. He couldn’t stop himself. That was one of the things she loved about him. 

“I love you, Tom,” Y/N finally blurted out, “I love you so much.” 

Tom smiled the biggest smile that he had made in months. His heart filled with so much joy and he couldn’t believe that he has her back as his again. 

Tom took both hands, one against her cheek with a thumb wiping the last of her tears and the other wrapped around her waist and onto the small of her back to pull her closer to him. Their lips connected, finally, after six lonely months. Tom got the girl. 

[facelessoldgargoyle]

The FYP: Sides, Trends, & You

Ok so I started out describing transition videos and realized I needed to start farther back. In order to talk about what defines genres and subgenres, I need to talk about sides and trends. I did this a little in the original Willy Wonka post, but I need to elaborate a.

What Side Are You On?

This question implies the appropriate amount of antagonism between the different sides of tiktok. Much like tumblr, your experience on tiktok varies greatly based on who you follow and what content you see. Unlike tumblr, you have 2 tabs you can access: the feed from people you follow, and the feed that’s the For You Page. This is governed by The Algorithm. The algorithm is spookily good at predicting what content you want to see, and the fact that it’s not directly curated by you (only indirectly) gives it sort of a mystical reputation. People will make videos saying “There are no hashtags on this video, so this is a sign meant for you: get your nipples pierced.”

Ahem. For example.

This means that instead of the side of tiktok you’re on being a choice you have deliberately made, it’s treated a more like an astrology sign. It predicts something about you as a person. The fact that the side of tiktok you’re on is only partially determined by what you like, comment, and follow and partially determined by what the audience of your videos watches gives it an extra “out of control fate” feeling. Sometimes you see videos from people saying, “Help, straight tiktok found my last video and now I’m only seeing their videos, if you’re lgbt, alt, goth, etc. please interact and get me back to Alt Tiktok.”

There’s some animosity between sides, mostly because Hipsters and Fandom Blogs Don’t Get Along, but also because gay people love making fun of straight people. One of the most famous users (the fame making him definitionally on straight tiktok) tweeted:

Lmao.

I would be interested in seeing a cloud of how different content is related on Tiktok. No one person could make it though, because everyone’s FYP is so personal. Here’s how I’ve seen it generally described, though, in the order of when each side starts appearing on your FYP if you’re queer: Straight -> Alt -> Lesbian -> More Gay Content -> Punk or Goth -> Trans -> Nonbinary -> Frog -> Synth Rat -> more and more niche content.

Trends

A trend is an action paired with an audio. A trend is showing off your side profile using a particular Avril Lavigne profile. A trend is doing a dance making fun of tiktok dances to a Phoebe Bridgers song. A trend is the equivalent of a meme, and it’s what makes tiktok fun, because trends give you a template for making videos. You try to do your own twist on the trend, because people will see several videos for one audio, and it sucks to see the same thing over and over again, so if yours is interesting and different, yours will get popular.

The combination of trends and sides are what define genre and subgenre.

Genre and Subgenre

Okay, so if you’re a tall white boy with floppy brown hair and abs, you can make a career off of doing thirst trap videos. If you’re a tall white girl with long straight hair and a big smile, you can make a career off of 15-second dance videos that are easy to copy. These are tiktok’s verified users, and these are the people who make enough money to rent houses so these 16-20 year olds can live together and make content together. Hype House is the most famous of these. This is Straight Tiktok.

If you’re a Onceler cosplayer, where the whole joke is about how horny people are for this weird cursed character, you do a video using the same audio that the professional fuckboys do as a joke. Instead of trying to sincerely attract people, you make fun of the fuckboys for doing what they do. Enough people have made videos mocking fuckboys that it’s its own thing. Eventually, you get a fuckboy making cursed thirsttraps sincerely. Not to be a philosophy fuckboi, but look! It’s thesis, antithesis, synthesis.

I’ll elaborate on the difference between genre and subgenre in the post about transition videos, but this is the foundation I need.

[latin-dr-robotnik]

I just discovered you have a blog in Spanish, which is hella useful for a Spanish student such as myself! Now I get to mix my duties with my passion :D I found your post about the alleged Adventure remake, and I agree with you: as much as the idea of Adventure getting more love fills me with glee, I don't think they could do much without disappointing a chunk of the fanbase. I don't think SA of all games deserves another remake after SADX, but an Adventure INSPIRED game would be the best move

You know, I was going to bring up your Spanish studies yesterday for your b-day (also wanted to take a jab at spaniards, but I figured out this wasn’t Latam Twitter so I didn’t have to be so mean to Spain! haha), but for some reason I ended up scrapping that paragraph. Oh, and before I forget: did I ever tell you that a couple of those Spanish posts you reblogged in the past made me go “wait, wtf? I didn’t even know that stuff existed” on a couple ocassions? I always laugh at myself for that.

I’m glad you find SHP useful! That blog can be such a weird blend of English terms and mostly clean Spanish (tho depending on my mood I can end up throwing lots of region-specific dialects). I like to use the blog as a platform to practice my writing skills, since college complexity is reaching its peak for me (this very year I have to start work on my very first historical research paper on an almost professional-historian level, and that sole thought scares me to death). Even then, I always try to keep the blog as easy to read and follow as I possibly can when discussing Sonic or even gaming in general, and I remember pointing out on Twitter how surprised I was at how much my writing evolved since I started SHP back in 2017 up until now. 

I still do meme-y posts here and there (I prefer to act like a clown on Tumblr, tho), but when I get serious I tend to craft some surprisingly decent articles that can easily take north of 10 hours to research, write and present. I’m particularly very proud of the work I did when translating everything I discussed here on Tumblr about Sonic Unleashed and emotional support; because my Tumblr posts were… messy at best, but that Spanish article ended up being something special, if I do say so myself :P

I must admit it’s been one very big weakpoint of mine trying to keep all my stuff separated from each other, since I tend to discuss the same topics over and over again. There are Tweets of mine that link to my Wordpress, that then link to my YouTube and to this very blog. Privacy… isn’t one of my biggest strenghts it seems, tho I drew the line at the very personal stuff, like Instagram.

About Adventure… oh! I think I know what post you are referring… is the one with the spiritual successor idea, right? It’s such a shame how I went from tempering expectations about the remake, to doing parody clickbait about it being “confirmed” in just 11 months, I know… ha… ha. The one thing I still somewhat hold on to is my claim that Heroes could stand to gain a lot more from a remake than Adventure, which is something I haven’t seen being discussed enough, at least on Tumblr.

I hope you enjoy your stay over at SHP! There are more than 2 years of Spanish posts to sort through… and probably lots of regional curse words. Oh, well.

[mammamialetmegooo]

My Thomas Sanders Post (or Why I Think Thomas Sanders Is An Incredible Human)

I often get asked the following question by my friends: “Mia, why do you like Thomas Sanders so much?” My reply is usually something like, “I could write a thesis paper on why I love him so much. There are just too many reasons,” which is my way of using a bit of hyperbole to say “that’s too complex of a subject for me to just casually talk about right now.” 

However, in this current moment I’m doing nothing except listening to music so I figured this would be the perfect time for me to get into this complex and beautiful subject matter and provide an answer for anybody who may have been curious. 

Disclaimer: I’ve never actually met Thomas (sadly). Every thing I’m going to say here is based simply on what I’ve observed through his presence online (his videos, tweets, instagram posts etc.) 

Now let’s begin...

Reason #1: He is incredibly selfless. He seldom lets the spotlight be solely on him. In regards to content, every video or project he comes out with he makes sure his audience is aware of all the other people who worked on it besides himself. He constantly praises the hard work of those around him who have worked hard to help him in creating content because he knows they deserve just as much, if not more praise than him for the work that was done. Go to his instagram and twitter and look at the countless kind things he’s said about the people who work with him. When he’s not busy giving credit where credit is due, he is saying kind things to his followers online. If you do follow him on twitter, then you know how frequently he spends time thanking his followers for any messages of praise or artwork/tributes people have spent time on for him. I will touch on this more in the next reason, but I wanted to bring it up here because of one twitter exchange I noticed at the end of Decemeber (Dec. 28, 2018). In short, twitter user @/abigaylexxxdawn sent a video to Thomas asking if he could contribute a video message to a gift they were making for their friend. The video was for their friend to watch when they feel like “nobody cares.” Thomas not only obliged to do this, but the message he sent was incredibly moving. Instead of saying something like “Hey friend, I’m here to tell you things are okay because I say so and I love you (you get what I mean,)” he chose to instead focus on how kind the twitter user was for going to all the effort they went to making this video gift for them. To quote Thomas in the video: “There are plenty of people in your life who care about you and what you want to do for the future. I hope that you care about you and what you do in the future because that’s just as important, but at the very least, just think back to that your friend went out of her way to create these videos for you in order to make you feel better when you needed it.” He didn’t have to do this at all, but he did and he never once makes the video about him or his own struggles when he very easily could have. It’s easy for any person of notoriety to record a video saying “Hey, you’ll be okay. Life get’s better because I say so and I’m super popular so it must be true,” (again, you know what trying to say) but that’s not what Thomas is doing here at all. He took time out of his night when he was already tired to think of something thoughtful and important that this girl could give to her friend and that act alone says so much about the kind of person he is. 

Reason #2: He’s grateful for the position he is in. Let’s go back to what I was saying earlier about thanking his followers online. About once every day (often times more than that), Thomas takes some time to look through his various online platforms (twitter, tumblr, instagram etc) and talk to people who send him messages. He thanks people who write him kind words or do cosplays based on the many characters he’s created online. He does Fan Art Friday (Super Art Saturday/Sunday if he’s busy or forgets) to showcase tons of the awesome fan art he gets tagged in every single week. Even when he’s not shouting out anyone specific, he will often tweet about his gratitude for all the people who have supported his online journey over the years. He makes it clear that he knows none of this would be possible without all the online support he’s gotten and says thank you for it at any given opportunity. 

Reason #3: How much he loves his friends. This kind of hits on some of the stuff I talked about in reason one, but I think it’s important to give this it’s own point because it’s a very important reason for me. So as I said earlier, Thomas is not afraid to give his friends credit for all the hard work they do in helping him with content. He is also not shy in talking about how TALENTED his friends are, and he has a valid point! Whether they’re actors, singers, dancers, artists, costume makers etc...Thomas is surrounded by some INSANELY talented people and he wants the world to know it! The reason this is so important for me to bring up is that for most of my young life (so far anyway, I’m only 21) I never had anyone like this in my life. I didn’t know what a true friend was until I got to college a few years ago, so when I see Thomas constantly supporting his friends and singing their praises, it really warms my heart. It makes me wish there were more people like him in the world, so that no kid ever has to be lonely like I was for so long. 

Reason #4: He keeps his content accessible and inclusive for all. If you watch his content, then you’ll know Thomas seldom ever curses or talks about troubling topics. He has said time and time again that the goal with his content is to make people smile and by keeping his channel open for all kinds of audiences, he has certainly been able to do that. Besides his language, he also uses his platform to talk about important issues. He has made videos about Black History (2), Women’s History, Asian Pacific American Heritage, the LGBTQ+, community and Autism Awareness (each videos features people of their respective minority/group). A cis white male like Thomas using his platform to spread awareness about minority groups is SO IMPORTANT, especially in today’s society where everything can often seem so oppressing and negative. Thomas also combats this on his channel with his “Reasons to Smile” video series. These videos are a compilation of random and wonderful facts about the world, dad jokes and messages of inspiration for those who may be feeling down. The goal with this series is to provide some light for those who may be experiencing some mental health troubles. Thomas has also used his popular “Sanders Sides” series to tackle different mental health issues as well, “Accepting Anxiety” (two parts) and “Learning New Things About Ourselves” being some of the most notable videos in the series that tackle this issue. This representation and accessibility are inspiring not only to people who can identify with any of these issues, but to people who can’t identify with them as well. I, a cis white female have learned so much from the videos about Black & APA Heritage and even Women’s history too! As someone who questions their sexual identity constantly, the Pride video was really helpful to me when I was wondering what I was supposed to label myself as (I’ve since learned I don’t have to give myself a label at all and neither does anyone else!) AND as somebody who struggles with anxiety/panic attacks and just a general bad state of mental health (though I’ve been a lot better recently) I’ve found A LOT of relief in Thomas’ content, especially the Sanders Sides videos. If I, just one person, can be affected by ALL of that incredible content, then I’m sure others have been as well.  

Reason #5: Miscellaneous. There are SO MANY OTHER reasons to love Thomas Sanders, but this post is already pretty long and if I were to keep going in so much depth you’d be reading this forever, so let me speed things up....He has the voice of an angel. He creates genuinely funny content that doesn’t make fun of anyone (except maybe himself, but that’s rarely ever). His selfie game is S T R O N G. Actually, he’s very photogenic no matter what kind of photo he’s taking. According to many reports online, he gives really really great hugs. His smile could warm the coldest of hearts. Speaking of hearts, his is really good...I just know it. 

So there you go. It might not be a thesis paper, but I think I proved my point. Again, I don’t know him personally all of this is based on what I’ve observed online, but I think anyone who displays so much positivity and goodness online has to be even better in person, right? 

In conclusion, thank you @thatsthat24 for being a wonderful person. Keep spreading your light and keep being you. I promise, it’s paying off. ❤️❤️❤️

[pisati]

I did write some comments on your post, but that was an initial reaction after one read-through, and of course it was a lot to take in. I went to my guitar lesson, ate a little bit, dicked around for a bit, and read it through again. what’s on my mind is too much for character-limited replies so I figured I’d just write a post.

if you’re serious that the amount of stuff you told me is maybe 10% of all the things her parents did, then... holy shit, dude. it’s hard to imagine anyone growing up with that and not being completely brainwashed. I feel for her daughter too. hopefully once she gets her degree and gets a job she can get away from that bullshit. most people, I think, are reasonably paranoid about the possible threats that come from strangers on the internet, but that’s just extreme. the scottish mafia??? is that even a thing?? I’ve never even. heard of that, lmao. jesus.

I want to say when the internet was in its infancy, a lot of scammers saw it as an opportunity. that’s where the whole Nigerian prince thing and all that came about. first rule of the internet was not to trust anyone. no personal information, to anyone, ever. the thing is, the internet has changed drastically since then. social media has revolutionized the way everyday people use the internet, and very, very many everyday people use it. the chances you’re likely to run into a normal person just like yourself vs. a scam artist today are much, much higher than they were even a decade ago. some people don’t want to accept that things have changed. I mentioned my Brazilian friends on your post; my mom was pretty nervous at first when I told her about them. I met them just before I graduated high school, so I was 17. I actually was on Omegle (which was WAY worse than tumblr or twitter???) and I talked to a kid named Matia. he was a few years younger than me but his english was very good and he was a cool kid. we followed each other on twitter, and then his friends saw and a bunch of them followed me, asking him “quem é essa gringa matia??”-- who’s this foreign girl? they’d talk to me in english about music and ask me what it was like in the US; they were fascinated. they affectionately nicknamed me ‘gringa’; in Brazil it doesn’t have the same negative connotations as it can in Spanish-speaking countries; it literally means ‘foreginer’. I learned Portuguese inadvertently just from reading all the tweets they posted. they’d mess with me and tweet in slang and typo-ed Portuguese so I couldn’t google translate it, but when I learned enough Portuguese and read back on their old tweets, I had a good laugh because it was all stuff like “lol let’s mess with her so she can’t translate it, that’ll be so funny!” and they knew I’d get all frustrated because I didn’t know what it said, lol. like, just pure, innocent interactions between strangers on the internet. I had a ton of fun with it. and Portuguese even ended up being my best language, because I learned it not only in natural, informal contexts (rather than “hello, how are you?”), but I learned it through drunken slang and intentional typos and a whole assload of cursing, lmao.

I was nervous to tell my mom about it; I knew how she’d react. there was no way to tell her about all the jokes and conversations and how all of it was harmless. how I just knew they were real people like me (they were all around my age too). she didn’t want me to study abroad there, when I brought it up, or at least... if I did, she’d rather I’d have picked somewhere in Europe instead. I told her I’d skyped with my friend David, and once I even mailed him a package with an old shirt of mine (because I’d tweeted about how I had this IUP shirt and once I transferred I knew I wasn’t gonna wear it anymore, but I didn’t want to donate it; he said he wanted it and I was like well if you’re serious lol). I skyped another friend Guilherme once because he said he could help with an assignment I had for researching the grammar of non-native speakers of english, or something like that. she warmed up after a while. I think she realized that, hey, most normal people are also on the internet now. and there’s normal people in other countries, lol. but like. people in that generation are from a different era of information-sharing. it’s a totally different perspective. and if you’re the kind of person who worries entirely too much... well, you’ve seen what can happen.

you said it in your other post too (which, first of all, I’m really proud of you for opening up, as painful as I’m sure all this is, and second of all, I’m honored that you’re comfortable enough to share with me)... the thing about sounding ‘weak’ and ‘pathetic’. and... maybe it does feel like that. but given the circumstances? I think reacting like that is perfectly normal. I’m sure you know, but this kind of situation, all the things that happened... none of that is normal. you had a perfectly normal reaction to seriously abnormal events. it’s only natural to want to know why. when you love someone so much and think they love you too, and have your whole perception of the world turned on its head... it’s absolutely devastating. you don’t want to let it go. what else is there? you didn’t picture it vanishing so suddenly, and you feel like that’s it. 

I just want you to know, I don’t see weak or pathetic. I see someone very much like myself. who genuinely cares and feels so intensely and deeply and is sometimes even afraid of being too much. a lot of people don’t understand that we have pure intentions. they don’t understand how we feel because they don’t have that depth. 

anyway, I understand a little better how you feel about it. a lot of it wasn’t her fault; she pretty much had a gun to her head. or, multiple, depending how you want to look at it. she grew up with that bullshit. you said it wasn’t even the first time something like that happened to her. it’s really, really hard to defend yourself or stand up for yourself when that’s what you know. when that’s your family, who is supporting you and your daughter, and threatens to kick you out if you follow your own will. she was playing a losing game. it made me a little sad to read how hard you tried to make it work, when clearly you were being pushed away, but I understand, man. I’ve done the same thing. you want so badly to make it work, you feel like there’s always a way you can. the most devastating part of it all is realizing you can’t. and it can’t be fixed.

the thing that puzzles me, though, and please tell me if I cross a line here. I really don’t want to. I respect your feelings and I understand that your relationship with her lasted a long time; there’s so much packed into that time. I’ve told you a lot of the shitty parts of my relationship with A, and you’ve wondered why I didn’t kick him to the curb; I didn’t tell you about all the good parts there were too. I know how complicated and difficult those things can be. despite how much they hurt you, how they did it, how much more pain you were in because of what they did than anything you could ever do to them... you still care about them. a lot. 

I just... I guess I’m not 100% clear on the purpose she serves in your life at this point. of course you care about her. it’s only natural to, when they’re your best friend. you know so much about them and they know so much about you and you’ve shared so many good things and you just enjoy them as a person. god, I even remember writing some sappy poem or blog post or something about how, even after everything, A could have stabbed me in the gut and I would have apologized for getting my blood on him. but he also did more damage to me than anyone ever has. I realized this past summer (that’s a story for another time) with such sudden, horrible clarity that I burst out sobbing while I was driving home on the highway; what he did was irredeemable. there was nothing he could do to fix it. I had done everything I knew how to do to even stay his friend, and I finally told myself that it was either I continue to pursue this and make myself miserable and make him miserable (because he was allowed to have feelings for whoever he wanted; me getting upset over every new one would hurt him too), or I could just. let go. finally. and that was not a decision I ever wanted to face. I put it off for so long. I told myself there could always be a way to fix it. but it always came down to him putting in the effort. he was my best friend. he knew me better than anyone. a lot of the things you said about M, I’ve said about A. I’ve never been able to be that close to anyone before; he’d seen much more of me than I was comfortable showing anyone else. I didn’t know if I’d be able to be that close to anyone else. making the decision to let go of the one person I was that close to was the hardest thing I had to do this past year, right up there with having to talk to the team from the cremation place not 15 minutes after learning my dad was dead and watching them take him away in a body bag. 

anyway, I guess what I’m getting at is... you can still love her, and still care deeply about her, but also keep her in the past. this is just my conjecture, given that I don’t know anything about your relationship now, but it seems to me like trying to keep her in your life is not beneficial to either of you. I know you said you don’t keep people around based on the purpose they serve in your life, and that’s a good philosophy to have, for sure. I’m not arguing that at all. but I think there’s a lesson to take from Marie Kondo here (ha); when something has served its purpose in your life, you should understand when it’s time to let it go. thank it for all it brought to you, all it did for you, of course; there’s apparently a lot of Shinto traditional beliefs that influenced her organization philosophy that would be really interesting to read about. but anyway I don’t think it just applies to the physical clutter we all accumulate in our homes. we weigh ourselves down with all the things we keep. especially those that don’t ~spark joy~, lol.  if she’s really as brisk with you as you say... do you think she would be bothered if you disappeared as well? 

I know it’s never just that easy. I made that decision, and then later I learned that A had a whole clusterfuck of mental illnesses that he wasn’t even aware he had. it was bad. worse than he thought. but once he finally got into therapy and started journaling his moods, it became more obvious. he realized a lot of how he treated me came from that. when he told me, I felt just a tiny bit of my resolve crumble. how could I drop him like that, when he was clearly struggling and needed something stable? even just a good friend, who was patient and understanding, like I’ve always tried to be? I’m not the only friend he has, of course. he has plenty of people around. I don’t have to go back to trying so hard if I don’t want to, but I also felt like I couldn’t just abandon him. I realized it wasn’t entirely his fault. he still did what he did knowingly, he still knew how it hurt me, but it still wasn’t entirely his fault. I know you’ve seen that in M as well. it’s so complicated, I know.

I’m not trying to convince you of anything. maybe just trying to get you to think about it another way. you’ve got a lot of pain that you’ve buried and try your hardest not to deal with. I’ve done it too. get to it when we get to it, except we hope we never have to. but it makes healing so hard when we don’t address it and subsequently deal with it. I wonder if you think it’s possible to heal the way you hope to and also keep her in your life. I’m sure in some way it is, but I wonder how you picture that possible future. I’m still trying to work that out for myself, with my situation. 

anyway, I really do appreciate you taking the time to help me understand your demons better. and... if it means anything, I don’t see you as broken. even if that’s how you feel. I mean, shit. all of that is enough to break anyone. I’ve never even been in a relationship, let alone had one that got to the marriage-talk, engagement-ring, wedding-dress, baby-name point. for someone that feels as intensely as we do, no less... I can only imagine. I see how the innocence, so to speak, was ripped from your hands. I understand how you feel changed by it. I see the darkness in you that I’ve seen in myself, but I see the light there too. you need to feel safe so that light has time to heal and grow again. 

[bonestructureandcontempt]

This is an immensely, deeply personal post about personal issues and experience spurred on by current events. I mention this as a preface in the hopes that if you read this, you will understand this isn’t a post that warrants reblogging or spreading in any way and I’m not even gonna tag it. Obviously, tumblr’s search algorithm being what it is, you may encounter this post and not even know who I am or follow me and while I can’t stop you from reading my blog, please just know I am writing this for my own peace of mind and not for notes. I’m going to put a cut below this paragraph but I don’t know if that will matter on tumblr mobile. I’m sorry if you’re bombarded with a wall of text you didn’t ask for.

We’ve barely had time to process how incredibly ill-advised it was that Elizabeth Warren actually took a DNA test to prove Native American ancestry to spite Donald Trump and inadvertently opened up a can of worms that exposed her personal racism and cultural appropriation AND how much indigenous people are still shit on in this country. Then the news broke about HHS and Title IX and the erasure of gender identity by the administration seeking to edge trans people out of society. THEN the migrant caravan news broke and with that came the usual conspiracy theories from the Right that this was a ploy by the Democrats to sway the midterm elections despite the fact that at the rate those refugees are moving, they wouldn’t reach the southern border of the US until well after the election. Or you know, falling back on the classic antisemitic trope that it was being funded by George Soros for the purpose of invading America for white genocide. And THEN the MAGAbomber shit happened. And the day after they caught him was when the shooting in Pittsburgh happened. And now here we are. I know there’s other incidents, I haven’t even mentioned the Brazilian election or Jamal Khashoggi or the murders of Gregory Bush and Vickie Jones in Kentucky. Point is you know as well as I do that we’re living in hellfire fanned joyfully by racists, antisemites, misogynists, homophobes, and transphobes on parade. Every bigotry since the dawn of whiteness is here, it’s in our face.

Meanwhile, I just spent part of my past weekend holding a friend while they cried and hyperventilated because of everything the fascists are doing to roll back trans rights, trying and failing not to weep openly myself because what the fuck am I supposed to say? That’ll it get better? That milquetoast Democrats nobody actually likes or is inspired by MIGHT sweep the Midterms and end the Trump administration? Or that one of those same Democrats MAY win in 2020 but the Republicans’s campaign of obstruction they waged in Obama’s tenure will just start all over again and inspire more right-wing hatred and oh, by the way, Brett Kavanaugh is still on the Supreme Court regardless? What? What do you say to the people you love when they’re scared that their very humanity will be made forfeit in Fascist America? I didn’t even have words this past Saturday for my sister or her parents who treat me like one of their own and opened my eyes to how wonderful Judaism could be and inspire me to convert and who I fear for every fucking day someone will do them like that monster who shot up Tree of Life and I won’t be able to do a fucking thing about it. All I could tell her was that I loved her and that I hoped she was having fun wherever she was. And y’know, post on the internet like I always do, seeing all the ghoulish displays of Right-wing antisemitism I’ve come to understand only too well come to the surface. If there’s any solace to be gained from this, it’s from watching Gab get deplatformed and watch its dipshit founder Andrew Torba beg his beloved leader Donald Trump for help but be ignored.

America has always had glaring bigotry problems but today it is governed by fascists, gleeful, triumphant fascists. That is the truth, but do our journalists say it? No. They dance around it still and use cutesy euphemisms when the President and his goons and sycophants lie to us. They even go on and on about how the administration is waging a war on journalism but they won’t even fight back in a meaningful way and just say the fascists are fascists! Worse still, organizations like the New York Times or NPR will run profile after profile on right-wing figures, allowing them to broadcast their views without any debate or repudiation, thus normalizing them in the public conscience.

I've long liked to keep my ear to the ground when it comes to the Right and observe their patterns and learn their tactics so I can know when they make pushes for the mainstream. It's how I knew what "alt-right" was before Hillary Clinton talked about it. It's how I've been aware what Gab was and what kind of people used it before the shooting over the weekend. It’s how I’ve recognized that the old tastemakers of the conservative movement from the Clinton and Bush years, guys like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity are all biting Alex Jones’ style now and peddling conspiracy theories about Democrats because that shit fucking SELLS. I’m not a journalist, not a detective, I didn’t go to school for any of that. I’m just a millennial raised on the internet like many of my peers. I was also raised as a conservative Catholic and spent much of my adolescence with talk radio and Fox News in the background. I think that’s what started me down this path. It helped that I also was familiar with sites like 4chan and sorta came rehabilitated from channer culture when I first joined Tumblr back in 2011.

In the past three years or so, I have watched the kind of language and ideas that used to only be used by fringe kooks, away from "normie" eyes in forums and threads you would never go to, end up on the evening news. And now even folks left of center use that language. “Fake News.” “Snowflake.” “Triggered.” Plays on “Make America Great Again.” Sure they mostly do it ironically and I’m not gonna yell at anybody for it, especially when I’m guilty of it too, but I also know it means that American culture leans just a bit more right in the Trump era, no matter how hard neoliberal capitalism tries to make us think otherwise with woke branding. This is so stupid and I could easily get made fun of for this, but I feel like an undercover cop who's been under too long and is never gonna be the same because of what I've seen and how woefully unequipped our institutions were and are to combat it. This knowledge is a curse and has only made me miserable because it will never end and I can never stop. At the risk of my own sanity, I can’t stop. I can’t remain ignorant of what these jackals want to do. What they WILL do. I can’t just “self care” myself away from this. 

And I’m angry. I’m angry all the time. I barely feel like myself anymore, I struggle to revert back to a “self” that existed before now. I struggle to enjoy things I love, even in the presence of the people I love. As much as I fear for the safety of my family, the one that matters, I also fear they won’t recognize me anymore before long. I don’t want my anger to be all there is. 

Maybe I’m just depressed and it’ll pass. 

Hey, if you read all the way through this little message in a bottle:

Here’s a good tweet  by Rabbi Dunya Ruttenberg.

Here’s a link to the GoFundMe for the victims of the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting.

[xtremedespair3d]

New Year 2021: The Virus That Ruined Everything

WARNING: THIS POST IS EXTREMELY LONG, YOU CAN EITHER SKIM TO SOME IMPORTANT PARTS IF YOU'D LIKE.

The 2020 decade is finally here and... Quite a lot of stuff has happened for the absoltue worse, and I didn’t ask any of this.

Life continuously gets worse every time with bad stuff happening, mainly online drama and problems with my personal life, other things like celebrity deaths and among other things, but this year, no thanks to a certain virus and worse, my personal problems, this has definitely become the worst worst year yet!

(As for the thumbnail, I was gonna look for generic images of “2021″ but I realized I had saved this image since 2020 began, but looking at it now, I don’t think it has hold up because 2020 has become a far worse year of its own. Hopefully for a 2020 2 picture for 2021 in case if life continues to get worse and worse)

This is definitely the longest Tumblr post I’ve ever written, so be prepared!

First off, let me apologize for last year’s New Year post where I said it would be my last post and I would be retire from Tumblr, but after a few months, I got bored and I decided to come back because I can’t live without blogging, so I’ll continue doing what I like doing, even if nobody reads or cares about my posts most of the time.

I should also tell you in advance that I’m dropping the scoring system in my top best of the year lists, not only they were usually rigged, biased* and repetitive, it was pretty confusing too. What I was basically trying to do with these scores is just matching different systems, like for example:

10/10 Rank: S++ 100%

The first one is a standard one, the second is common in some games but it’s more loosely based on Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain where the top rank is S++, and the third part is of course based on Rotten Tomatoes, which thank god I’m not even checking that site anymore and I have the word muted on Twitter so I won’t be disappointed with how terrible the movies I want to see the most perform (And why should I really care about that to begin with?). In the end, numbers don’t matter, it’s all about how much I enjoy this media and how much do I love it or hate it to be top or bottom, that’s all what matters.

*Although my lists will always be biased regardless. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, let’s kick off this post with some of the cursed shit that happened throughout this year, there were Australia wildfires, we almost had World War 3, police brutality, and now the worst thing of all, COVID-19. I’m not even gonna bother going into details on these other events other than COVID because it’s a very important issue that happened throughout life, even for my standards which I wouldn’t give an absolute shit about everything else that happens. A lot of major events got delayed, movies and games that I was looking forward the most got delayed, etc. Everything about COVID was a mess, but as usual, everything that happens in my life is far worse than every event. There’s a plethora of issues that happened throughout this year with plenty of things that really affected me, so I really hope you’ll understand (If not, it’s fine, nobody cares about these posts anyway).

When I was writing this draft, I put some titles to better indicate myself and to not forget about the important topics I want to talk about, and at some point I was debating myself whether or not I should leave these titles, but as I was writing without the titles when I got to certain topics, I realized how disorganized this post was looking, so I’m definitely putting these titles back as part of the actual post. I’ll probably do this in every New Year post too. Anyway, let’s start!

Quarantine and mental health: Let’s talk about the current situation we live in, quarantine. A lot of people miss being outside and being social, although to be honest, I’m not really missing out on anything, my family and I rarely go outside and we love staying indoors all the time anyways, except for going to the cinema, and the lockdown wasn’t really that strict in my town.

The best part of the quarantine was at one point my mom decided that I wouldn’t do online classes for my fine arts school since it’s not very convenient to learn stuff at home, and while I partially agree, the main reason why I didn’t want to continue studying is probably because I lost care about it, I’m always so distracted on my phone, I’m always so slow with sculpture and painting, not being able to go to school is the best thing the quarantine could happen... Except... There’s still some priority with my older sister, and when September came, it was time for the homeworks once again, my worst nightmare...

Doing my older sister’s homeworks really bring the worst of me, every time my mom always tells me there’s homework to do, I always say “ugh...” in varying tones and sometimes I get in trouble for it where my mom constantly gets triggered and tells me we must do it for my older sister’s sake, blah blah blah, and always, I shit you not, I ALWAYS fight with my mom when we do homeworks. I try to tell her the do’s and don’ts of how to use the internet and stuff, she sometimes takes too long researching for stuff, she constantly talks while figuring out and changes words when I’m supposed to be writing the things she’s supposed to tell me, I hate doing maps, etc. Just working with her is the absolute worst. I wish I could calm down in every situation, but I just can’t, I always get triggered and I insult my mom in said things.

Sometimes my mom tells me that my angry behavior comes from my lack of sleep, I always insist her that my bad sleep has nothing to do with my angry behavior, it’s the way I am. (Lately my sleep schedule is a bit messy but, like I said, I’m always angry because that’s how I am)

If you’ve been following me for a while and looked at how I tweet and interact with other Discord servers, you probably would have guessed that my behavior hasn’t gotten any better, and indeed it hasn’t. Of course I did promise I would change this year by trying to not attack people’s opinions and not being so mad at my mom, but being me as usual, I’m never going to change at all.

I don’t know what’s worse, attacking people’s opinions, or always figting with my mom in what to do with doing my older sister’s homeworks.

Before you tell me stuff like “Why can’t you tell your older sister to do her homeworks herself?” Because she doesn’t care and there’s one particular reason which I’m probably not gonna discuss in detail publicly (Unless you ask me to).

I've recently been hearing stuff about the COVID vaccine coming to Mexico, while that sounds great news, but at the same time, I can't help but have a feeling that I don't have the highest hopes for this and I don't think things would be fine, like, what if someone might be allergic to whatever the vaccine is made of? Not to mention that the vaccine is delivered in syringes, instead of going like the ending of Spider-Man PS4, I have a better idea: Why not try to make planes and spray out the vaccine everywhere so everyone outside can breath it, like it was some sort of pesticide but it has the opposite effect? It's kind of a messed up idea when I brought the pesticide thing, but that's the best thing I could think of.

Novel progress: This is something I was desperately trying to achieve, but the road has become a complete let down. I don’t want to disclose anything about my project, but I actually succeeded in publishing at least the first two chapters of my novel, the prologue and chapter 1, but I’ve been getting some rather harsh criticism in my website that I’m not really fond of, some of them are suggestions I’m not really sure I want to do, and even some that are just destructive, not only on my chapters but even on my blog posts when I’m trying to talk about some changes and other things, even my older sister’s harsh criticism doesn’t help me at all. All the negative comments combined with my eternal procrastination and having NO IDEA what the story even is and trying to figure that out and the monthly gap, I couldn’t help but give up on the project, I haven’t flat out cancelled the project out of my mind, but in terms of making it exist, I put it on hold. Yeah, I was really hurt and I have no idea what to do.

I don’t know about you but I’m just very sensitive about the kind of feedback I got with my project, it’s just something I never asked for and it really hurts me so much, it completely discourages me to keep going

I’ll talk about the future of my project in my resolutions, but the one last thing to say about this is that once my project exists and if I’m become successful, I really hope for once in my life my projects or I won’t get the same treatment as the next topic below.

The Last of Us 2 and YandereDev: This is seriously the most trigger inducing topic I’ve ever had to witness in my life, it’s beyond disgusting.

Literally every time over the last 3 years, everything that I’m interested in always ends up getting some form of backlash for no absolute reason. Fate/Apocrypha in 2017, Venom, Ready Player One and FLCL2&3 in 2018, Captain Marvel in 2019, now it’s TLOU2 in 2020.

First of all, I’m not a huge TLOU person, although I would have watched Let’s Play videos of people playing the first game, and from what I’ve seen, it was beloved by many, and then there’s the iconic “That’s the cutest fucking thing I have seen in my entire life” meme which I didn’t even know it was originated from TLOU to begin with.

The first game is a favorite, so the sequel should be an instant hype, but early this year, I started to see some hate around TLOU2, and it has been going for months, even some of my friends and artists I care about are joining the hate bandwagon for no reason...

LIKE, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???!!! THIS IS DISGUSTING!!!!! EVERYONE, LITERALLY EVERYONE ARE ABSOLUTE DISGUSTING MONSTERS!!!!!!

Literally, some of my friends and even some artists I care about talk shit about TLOU2 and they continue to do so! And then there’s other people I do care about like YouTubers who do care about TLOU2 and that’s enough to make me happy and I would LOVE to watch their videos but I’m too spoiled and self-conscious about watching TLOU2 videos and like it, so I have no idea whose should should I be on!

And then there’s The Game Awards which a lot of the nominees and even the winners were saturated with TLOU2, I can’t even bother getting into details for this but I definitely expected people to be so mad at TLOU2 winning almost every single award.

Now with how much shit TLOU2 has gotten, the future of the TLOU series which can even affect the upcoming HBO series is not gonna be so bright and everyone have turned against Naughty Dog completely.

You know what the saddest part is? Looking at the hate for TLOU2 makes me think on how will my project can get treated with whatever bullshit I may put with certain characters and other stuff, and that shit is beyond depressing, I absolutely WISH my beloved project I may or may never bring to life can get the same treatment as TLOU2, EVER! NOT EVEN FROM THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT! JUST DON’T!

Please let this shitty year end so no one can ever talk about TLOU2 EVER AGAIN!

Lastly I have to talk about YandereDev, although I wouldn’t like to get into details because I’m probably gonna get crucified that I’m still supporting them. I also don’t have much to comment on them but it really sucks seeing people I have highly regarded going down in infamy. Especially with YandereDev, I still watch KubzScout’s videos about Yandere Simulator and I like seeing how the game is progressing, and sure, YandereDev can be a shitty person but I can’t help but feel for him and his something is something I wish I wouldn’t be when defending my project, like I don’t want to be the next TLOU2 and the next YandereDev. And then I’ve seen some of the most unfunniest memes I’ve seen in my entire life.

Hololive disasters: This isn’t something that necessarily affected me pretty badly, but it’s worth pointing out, kinda like “I’ve seen some shit” situation.

As of late, Virtual YouTubers have become finally become a norm into our modern pop culture and global society as a whole, we’ve all become VTuber simps. Whether it’s Hololive, Nijisanji, Pikamee, Projekt Melody, Artemis of the Blue, everyone’s simping VTubers now.

Out of all the aforementioned groups and independent VTubers, the most popular group is of course Hololive. Hololive as of late has gained a huge following thanks to fan subtitled clips and even the Azur Lane collaboration early this year. Then Hololive English has launched and it became a success, and the biggest Japanese milestone is the 5th generation! But as soon as the 5th gen debuted, things don’t get any sweet with Mano Aloe where she leaked her Live2D before her debut stream and forgot to delete her leak and other things. For something like this seems too outrageous, but with that she completely decided to retire even after she debuted, which was really sad, but what makes it especially furious for me is that Guchico, Aloe’s designer, got his art completely wasted and I doubt he would make another VTuber design for Hololive after this.

Then there’s the infamous Kiryu Coco and Akai Haato Taiwan thing, which I don’t really understand what the hell happened with that, and I don’t want to be too offensive, but that’s kind of retarded on the Chinese part.

There were a plethora of other disasterous events with Hololive but I think those two of Mano Aloe and Coco/Haato Taiwan are the most important worth talking about, this wasn’t quite a good year for Hololive to say the least.

Artists: Another thing I didn’t like throughout this year was the artists, and this isn’t so much about dramas like last year, but I’ve started to hate a number of artists for various reasons, even Custom Maid people.

I’m not gonna call out people’s names, so I’m simply going to tell the actions which really turns me off. On the illustrators side, I got really tired of seeing artists complain about shit that I like and other things, and my absolute least favorite, artists completely being hard on themselves and being hardcore perfectionists. That is one of the worst things I hate seeing to artists, there’s just something about their ranting about their perfectionism and everything else that really turn me off so badly, as for the times they do their “I can’t draw, I hate my drawings” and whatever, it really pisses me off so much, why artists aren’t just happy with what they’re doing?! And to top it all off, they completely neglect their fans’ encouragement and they continue with the same shit over and over! Like, I don’t understand! I just want to see them happy and deliver the best works they can, but if that’s what they really feel all the time, why are they even drawing in the first place? Might as well they should retire for good and then I’m immediately gonna regret saying this afterwards!

Then there's also some of the artists I follow (At least the ones who speak English) who talk shit about some anime, games or movies that I like, and some what I've seen even join in the TLOU2 hate train for no reason like I previously mentioned, which gives me a huge sour taste in my mouth. Sometimes I even went so far arguing with at least two from what I recently remember when one tweeted where he sounded like he was talking ill of Rui Komatsuzaki's art with the Danganronpa x Akudama Drive crossover art, and another one who for some reason doesn't even care about the Azur Lane game, and the biggest irony is that this is an artist that drew Taihou quite a lot, and that thought process is downright stupid! Like, what's even the point of drawing fan arts of the characters from a game which made you successful but made you start to lose care for it to begin with?! You're so stupid!

In short: I hate perfectionists and I hate when artists talk shit on the things I like. Even if I hate the way they are, I just can't let go of them because I still support them for their art, I wish I would simply care for artists for their art and not so much for them (Except for their health and stuff, although I still feel selfish about it), but I've grown too caring for some of them (At least the ones who speak English) that I would occasionally read their tweets about certain things like games, anime, movies, etc, and some of them leave me a sour taste in my mouth.

Then there’s the Custom Maid people, although there’s not much to say but what pisses me off the most in some cases is that they abruptly started to retire and disappear without a trace and there’s not much I can do about that.

Throwing some Koikatsu artists in there as well, I don’t really follow many Koikatsu artists but the one I truly believe was the absolute worst is “renka.” (For some reason he deleted his Twitter, he might have ranted about something about his struggles but glad I didn’t even witness that to even care about him at this point, although his Pixiv is still open) From the very beginning early this year, the dude did some rants about his struggles and other things I can’t even bother to remember, but over the next few months I’ve grown to like the guy, we even followed each other and communicated for a while (That is until for some reason he decided to unfollow me so we’re no longer mutuals), but as of late, his content and his mental state have completely deteriorated, he stopped doing these “Good morning” posts I always interacted with, he abandoned his one OC, and the worst part of renka is that he’s become so hungry for attention and numbers, I mean, his posts always get over 1 thousand likes and he thinks it’s not enough. And the one thing that broke my heart the most about talking to this guy, I made these collab screenshots (Or just some よその子 (Yosonoko, someone else's OC) screenshots I did for fun) and renka never even bothered interacting with them. No likes, no retweets, no replies, NOTHING! The dude for no reason completely neglects my screenshots I did for fun, these screenshots I made are probably the screenshots I'm the least proud of ever making, the dude was so ungrateful, fuck the guy. Then there's also the time where renka out of the blue blocked a Custom Maid person I interacted with, which gives me more reason to not care about the guy.

I seriously wish I can at least counter some artists' opinions very often and to not get discouraged, basically virtually slapping in their faces like I always want, but I really wish people wouldn't take me as if I'm threatening them with a strong tone (Though sometimes I do it on purpose) to the point I would get instantly blocked, even when I try to make a rather innocent disagreement. This is all for directly interacting with these artists, in my private server, I ALWAYS talk shit to them behind their backs, their art and the artists themselves.

And yeah, even if I were to start drawing regularly and I face the same struggles the artists have which makes me an absolute hipocrite, but the thing is I’m still so inexperienced with digital art and the artists I care about are hella experienced, it’s completely ironic and it’s just frustrating to watch!

Private Discord server and downfall: Probably the most heartbreaking thing that happened to me and I have ever done this year. In 2018, for a while I’ve constantly been making test servers just to copy and paste some things and I always ended up deleting them afterwards, but one day I somehow have finally decided to make a server that’ll stay forever, and indeed has been which has become my personal journal where I can freely and privately talk about some things where I wouldn’t publicly do so in Twitter mainly for my controversial tone and opinions.

In 2020, a few months ago, I started bringing some people into my server, although one time I did bring someone to take a quick look at it and got out afterwards, but this time the people I brought were friends I recently made and the ones I care about now, which they happen to be Custom Maid creators and an artist (The following links contain NSFW content, click at your own risk), such as Ten Speed (Who was the only person active mainly because he’s the only second English speaking person, he’s a Filipino), hinosuna (Main account, he’s been using this more nowadays since June 30th, he seemingly retired from doing Custom Maid content), ryuuunnji, Shimotsuki Nagomi and Maidin (Who at the time he was about to delete his Twitter account for some drama, I asked him to make a Discord to better communicate rather than using Pixiv, then the Twitter account was remade into what you see in the link, no communication, screenshot posting only).

On December 4th, however, things started to take a dive. ryuuunnji had left the server, I asked him on the Twitter DM about it and he has indeed left the server because he wasn’t very active on it, which makes me sad. With that being said, it came into my mind that I would start trying to kick out the other inactive members of my server, so I tagged Nagomi and Hinosuna about it but to no response, but then I DM’d Maidin on his personal and communicational account, I was asleep for a few hours, I woke up and I found out he has cut ties with me. He softblocked me on Twitter, he blocked me on Discord, he deleted the MEGA link that contained all his screenshots (which I didn’t get a chance to download some of them, and I really hope he didn’t delete the collab screenshots he made with my characters), all of that without prior warning... Notihng. This put me in a really awful position.

Maidin and I had a pretty good history, I always liked, retweeted and interacted to his tweets, I brought him into my server because of some struggle he was having and we did interact a little bit in the server for a while,

This happened similarly to another Custom Maid creator known as gg_colombia, I made a TierMaker of ranking Custom Maid creators I follow and some I don’t but still know, even throwing a bit of Koikatsu people, where I put a friend of Colombia in the “Die” tier because that person I put in that tier blocked me a day after my birthday after telling them that my birthday happened the day after in Mexico and I got blocked for no reason, and apparently Colombia got really angry and blocked me, I communicated with other creators who followed me to vent my problem, and somehow Colombia and I eventually settled. But with Maidin... It seems like he really doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, I’m pretty sure I broke his heart. To this day I’m still trying really hard to contact him in different ways but he completely neglects me, and that really sucks how much I think about how I have instantly turned him against me, it’s just sad.

And then I got blocked by Maidin for good on the 28th after tweeting him begging to follow me again which makes things even worse now, at least I’m still not blocked on Pixiv, but I’m not having any high hopes for that, I’ve had enough.

I should never take Japanese people for granted, and I should never invite anyone into my private server ever again.

This one action that completely messed me up so bad, one of the moments that truly make me question my sanity, my being and my overall existence. I was pretty depressed for that entire weekend, it got me thinking for a while I really want to leave behind my current social media accounts and start from scratch with a new identity and stuff, but I got tired of doing that and when I got blocked some people, I didn’t care anymore, but now it’s coming back.

In late November, I made a Twitter thread ranting about my history of deleting accounts and even wanting to do the same thing over and over again as well as the cons for doing so. Now that I think about it, I don’t think it should even matter about the names I will use, it depends on the kind of person I actually am, and even though I try to change and try to be different, someone’s gotta be bound to recognize me for some things I might post or something. I’m also paranoid that people won’t support me at all, not as Hajime Komaeda, not as my pen name, but me in real life as a whole, no matter the names I go by.

I always think about doing aggressive call-outs to some people like it’s no big deal, but then when it comes to the execution, I get in very big trouble for it and I always feel bad, but now, I got what I deserved. 3 long years having the same problem with people’s opinions combined with telling a friend they were being kicked to my Discord server which left him heartbroken, not to mention always ALWAYS being aggressive towards my mom every time we do my older sister’s homeworks, I’m a really messed up person who doesn’t deserve to exist in this world. I don’t want to be a burden nor lose friends any longer.

Even if I've grown really close to Ten, there were times that we did argue and dear god, I really hope I won't get too salty about what we talk about, I don't want to break friendships any longer, especially towards someone who's now my #1 friend, fuck everyone else I talked with before.

Now, let’s move on to the more somewhat positive side of things throughout this year.

The positives

Pixelbuster and Phan-Site: Probably the best thing to come out of this year is Pixelbuster getting cancelled. Although I haven’t gotten a chance to witness this mess live as it was happening, I was asleep for a couple of hours, I woke up and started checking Twitter on my phone and I saw a tweet from MysticDistance talking about Pixelbuster and a couple of retweets and I was like “Holy shit, Pixelbuster is getting owned!” and his Discord server was gone, and with that said, I blocked Pixelbuster in Discord as well.

If you don’t remember, Pixelbuster was under controversy from some people at gaming news site Final Weapon where Pixel took advantage of their name to get free games with codes from developers. So yeah, that was quite a shitty move, but in all honesty, to this day I still feel like I don’t give a shit about that, when the controversy happened, I just capitalized in ranting about why Pixelbuster was so unlikeable, I made a post about it as well for more details as to why I hated him.

I was asleep for a few hours and I didn’t get a chance to see his downfall happen at the very moment, when I woke up, his Discord server was already gone and I wanted to see the shitstorm that happened in there, but it’s all gone.

PIxel even tried going back into social media to apologize to some people I assume he got blocked by under the name SpookyLava/Sp00kyLava with a picture of Sucy from Little Witch Academia as his profile picture. Of course this did not go well as people immediately started calling him out, and just like that, he completely disappeared without a trace for good. I don’t think I’ve seen any activity or a word from Pixel as far as I know, so he’s completely gone and I really hope I wouldn’t see him ever again.

A little while ago I came across his Nitomatta Twitter account being open for some reason, I can’t verify for sure this is Pixel himself since there’s only this one tweet that simply says some laughter and then Soul Kiwami’s tweet of the TwitLonger about Final Weapon’s experience working with Pixel that for some reason is actually pinned (Wait, how is it possible to pin someone else’s tweets? Don’t you simply pin your own tweets? How the hell does this work?), it’s even stranger when this account has been open and the one tweet where posted around the time the controversy happened.

As much as I hated Pixelbuster so much and I hated reading his tweets constantly complaining about the current media and franchises that I had muted Pixel for a while before the controversy happened, sometimes I can’t help but wonder what is actually Pixelbuster up to now, like for example, does he play Genshin Impact? There were other things that came into my mind, but the Genshin Impact thing is the one thing I have in mind the most.

The only thing I ever liked about Pixel were his shitposts, sometimes he was funny and I retweeted his memes. He also even got retweeted by some Japanese artists, including the creator of Pop Team Epic, bkub Okawa, where he retweeted a clip posted by Pixelbuster, I can’t remember what video was it exactly, maybe it might have been a Resident Evil 3 mod video or something.

To Pixelbuster, if you’re still here and you’re possibly reading this: GET FUCKED!

Next is Phan-Site and this one was quite a surprise. For a while I grew uninterested with Phan-Site’s Twitter, so I muted him. His Discord server also didn’t do any favors for me, so sometimes I did my usual complaining about people’s opinions and just being angry, after some time being inactive and just for my feeling of uninterest, I left the server.

Although not everything about Phan-Site’s Discord was necessarily bad, as I met Emanuel Gracia, a Persona fanfiction writer who I actually looked up to the guy for his writing skills and motivation, I never necessarily read his fanfictions (Sometimes I did take a peak at his Persona Next Gen fanfic, or as it’s now called Persona Grand Legacy, for reference in how to write novels), but sometimes I did give him some info about my top secret project as a symbol of trust as writers and I’m even in his Discord server as a mod.

(Gracia, if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry)

Although our friendship is not going to last long after two years and by the time this post is published, it’s most likely going to happen because I grew completely dissatisfied with the guy and his Twitter for my same problem of hating to see his opinions and talks shit about other things I like so I muted him as well, and probably the worst of him is his fixation with One Piece, he’s so fixated to it that he treats it like god and he uses it to shit on My Hero Academia and possibly other modern Shounen (Though he utterly criticizes MHA the most) which really pisses me off. Not to mention I’m pretty toxic in his server with the same stuff I vent over and over and some other problems, so it really doesn’t help.

Anyways, back to Phan-Site, the controversy happened when MysticDistance posted a tweet of a screen video capture of his voice message from Phan-Site which I’m probably not gonna link the tweet because it’s quite scary to listen to, but what I can say is that Phan-Site definitely wasn’t in a good mood, as he was threatening Mystic to answer his phone in a very angry voice.

After that tweet was posted, Phan-Site disappeared just like that. The last thing I remember is someone taking up the mantle of the Phan-Site Facebook page, but some people were telling this person to better delete the account so the brand wouldn’t continue any longer because of what happened, and that’s it, haven’t heard anything about Phan-Site or the person behind him ever since.

After Pixelbuster and Phan-Site disappeared, it made me realize that I wouldn’t like to ever follow or even associate with these kinds of bigshots ever again, neither RedMakuzawa nor UltimaShadowX, or any other of these accounts in general, not even Karoshi of all people who I’m still somewhat attached for some reason, because they’re often very bland, they often tweet opinions in a very harsh and gatekeeping tone, etc. I just really hate these kinds of people, I don’t wanna see them nor I wanna be friends with them if they’re gonna talk shit about the stuff I love.

The Boys: This is something I never expected to do, but it was something I wanted to do for a long time when season 1 came out. One day, I heard my mom and my older sister having a conversation where instead of watching shitty YouTube videos, she should at least watch some series, and that got me thinking about it and somehow I randomly went to Amazon, subscribe for Prime, check Amazon Prime Video and I immediately saw The Boys on the homepage and I started watching it, and boy, I’m so hooked on it and I seriously wish I could have seen the series sooner!

And the most unexpected part is that this is my first time watching an exclusive series in a streaming platform, completely legally! I would normally go to some random pirated websites like swatchseries or whatever where I would pretty much watch everything, but not with The Boys, I actually paid for Amazon Prime Video, well, it was my first time being subscribed to Prime so my first subscription was for free. The best part of watching The Boys using Amazon Prime Video is that I can actually turn on the subtitles and even change the language dubs, so sometimes I watched a little bit of the series with Japanese dub, though I prefer watching the series in the original English language with English subtitles on, but it’s fun watching the series in Japanese dub. (Unrelated but at some point I rewatched Venom in Amazon Prime Video and I was sad that it doesn’t have Japanese dub in there)

I actually started watching The Boys a few days before season 2 even began, so I managed to watch the first season just in time and then I definitely watched season 2 weekly (Except for the finale, I did have to go to swatchseries for the finale because I wouldn’t use Amazon Prime for the rest of October).

Things get more hype when the news of No More Heroes 3 being delayed were being released, Suda51 also stated that he happened to hire the comic artist of The Boys, and I went all-out fanboying my ass off, it’s the best thing that has ever happened to my life by a mere coincidence of watching The Boys!

To end things off, I’ve been very frustrated with Agents of SHIELD and The Blacklist. The final season of Agents of SHIELD started off interestingly, but then until the second half of the final season was an absoltue let down, it was meh, I’m so glad Agents of SHIELD is over, the era of Marvel TV shows that made references to the MCU but weren’t even allowed to have crossovers anymore is over, and now with the Disney+ shows, we’re finally getting the TRUE MCU connected and crossover shows we deserve!

Then there’s The Blacklist, and oh boy, don’t even get me started on that series because lately it has gone consistently shit, and things get worse when in November, they literally premiered the first two episodes and then the series will continue in January 22nd which is too far and too long of a break for a season that came out this November! Not to mention that they literally recast Dom after the original actor passed away a few months ago, but only to kill him off in the second episode of the premiere, this was an absolute waste of a recast! After the original actor passed away, I always thought they would leave Dom in a coma and write him off of the show, but no, they decided to recast a new actor to continue the character and his story one last time, and then they did this shit, write the character again only for two episodes and the rest is history!

Elizabeth couldn’t have put a better way to describe my feelings on the show lately with this scene!

I don’t really know for sure what’s my future of watching The Blacklist is going to be, this episode was so bad that I ranted how bad it is to the point where I said “I’m done watching this show,” I mean, I really want to stop watching this show, I want to drop it, I want to stop caring about it, but once the season returns, I’m gonna feel so bad about missing out what’s going on in the story when I may come across tweets from the official Twitter account of the show. And then there’s this Japanese article where Nijisanji Vtuber, Shizuka Rin or ShizuRin, actually appeared and she watches The Blacklist! But even that doesn’t do me any favors to continue watching this shit any longer!

So yeah, fuck Agents of SHIELD! Fuck The Blacklist! The Boys is my new favorite TV show and I will never get tired of it! I love The Boys, I love these kinds of adult rated superhero stuff with gore, strong language, sex scenes and such, it makes me think of Kick-Ass!

Other major events: There are also some major events I forgot to address in last year’s New Year post, like the US Elections, the death of Adobe Flash and even the next gen consoles.

Then there’s the US Elections, although I don’t have much to say and I normally don’t care about politics in general, let alone foreign politics, but I’m glad we won’t have Trump again, although I’m not sure if I might have heard great things about John Biden but at least I wanted someone other than Trump. Now for Mexico, I’ll have to wait 4 more years to get a new president and remove AMLO, although Mexican presidents are always useless.

Next is the death of Adobe Flash Player, today is finally the day for to say our prayers to Flash, let’s press F to pay respects. There were also some news that Flash playback will stop being supported on January 12th 2021, which makes it even sadder because there’s still some things that still use Flash, like some really ancient Newgrounds stuff and even Chaturbate (Yeah, this is a little weird, I normally don’t use the site often but I had once for Projekt Melody), I even recently watched an old Madness fan cartoon that is now deleted on Newgrounds onto the Wayback Machine and Firefox asked me to use Flash, so I did that. And this current version of Firefox, version 84, is the last one to support the Adobe Flash Player.

Hopefully there will be some good alternatives to play some old SWF Flash content, like Ruffle which is an open source Flash emulator that is actually sponsored by Newgrounds of all people, and I recently found a tweet from Tom Fulp that Newgrounds will soon be using Ruffle. The demo page of the website even allows you to play the original Alien Hominid game before the remaster comes out, it’s not perfect but at least it’s something. As of the writing of this post on December 23rd, I didn’t know I can actually download the Ruffle extension, I always thought it was something that’ll take a long time to perfect and only has a demo page to test it out, but they actually have some download links for the standalone program and even browser extentions, although it’s probably still not the first major release or anything, it might be something (I tried but for some reason Firefox wouldn’t let me download the extension).

Oh, and speaking of deaths, let’s press F to pay respects to Chadwick Boseman, Keiji Fujiwara and HorribleSubs. To Chadwick Boseman, especially, this was quite a shock he’s had colon cancer for the last 4 years, he fought quite a long battle like a true warrior, Wakanda Forever! And Keiji Fujiwara amd Kobe too, god damn, we lost a lot of great ones this year!

As for the console next gen, the Playstation 5 and the Xbox Series X/S, although we’ll stick to PS5 because I’ve always been a Playstation person, don’t judge me. This is something I’m not quite fond of it happening now because my biggest problem is that my family bought the PS4 last year and it felt like it was way too late. Sometimes I do feel tempted on wanting to get a PS5 so bad now, but there’s still gonna be some games coming to the PS4 (inb4 people are gonna be playing those PS4 games into the PS5) and there’s still like a shitton of games that I haven’t played in years and who knows if my older sister and I are gonna have time to play them all. it’s still gonna have some time left because there will be games coming to the PS5 entirely for good in like 3 or 4 years. Looks like I’ll have to wait for another 6 years to own the PS5, and then the next year, the PS6 would be released.

Really the only thing that could have sold me on the PS5 is if it was colored black and most importantly, if it was actually fully backwards compatible with every Playstation game, that could have been an absolute win so I could have replayed some PS2 games I still own, but sadly it’s not.

Home improvements: We’ve also had some home improvements, like adding a gate around my bedroom’s hallway where the staircase goes so my dogs won’t annoy me at my door, but the biggest improvement we’ve made is finally upgrading our internet modem and we finally got proper home Wi-Fi... For better and for worse.

I didn’t know I wanted this to happen but it was about time to upgrade our internet, but the results have been mixed. On one hand, I guess the internet is mostly the same, it’s not faster or anything but at least we finally got proper Wi-Fi on our house, but at the same time, the Wi-Fi can be absolute garbage especially when it barely reaches my bedroom which I’m in the second floor and that doesn’t make sense considering we live in a small house and even if I’m on top, the router should be closer to me! When I’m really frustrated with the Wi-Fi’s poor signal, I continue to use the Windows 10 mobile hotspot thing which I’ve been using for years. Not to mention that my internet on my laptop goes on and off randomly and that really annoys me, I swear when we had our old router, this didn’t happen before.

Despite these problems, at least it’s better than having no internet in FOREVER when the lights go out like it happened with our old router. Sometimes the Wi-Fi signal works, but sometimes it doesn’t, it drives me insane. That is until I finally decided I would start using the Wi-Fi for my laptop since as of the writing of this post in the 29th, the Wi-Fi has been working rather nicely, the speed of my Wi-Fi on my laptop so far is kinda the same as my ethernet, so hopefully it’ll be fine. Until the Wi-Fi goes slow, I’m switching back to the ethernet.

As of the publishing of this post, I haven’t gotten any problem with using the Wi-Fi and that makes me jump into the conclusion that my issue with having my internet randomly turn on and off really comes from my ethernet cable. Sometimes I did run into some slow uploading problems but most of the Wi-Fi is fine.

That’s all I have to discuss about my life this year, it was an absolute disaster and even I do think I wish I was dead, I didn’t want to exist in this planet any longer yet I continue to fight and suffer through a lot of things. What do I even want to accomplish by arguing people by forcing my opinions against theirs and stuff? Power and attention, but it never turns out like I want. People tell me over and over not to care about what people say, but I continue ignoring and doing the same fight with no success over and over, my problem is indeed that I’m too caring. Yes, I’m too caring about everything, and ignorance is almost never my solution. There’s seriously nothing I can do about it.

Anyway, here’s a silly meme about my 2020 to enlighten this up.

Best and worst of the year and anticipated releases

Let’s finally move on to my favorite part of making these New Year posts, the good old top best lists and most anticipated releases of whatever media I love! This year is going to be a little different, as I’m making these top best lists of each category, I’ll be talking about the most anticipated releases of the same categories I talk about simultaneously! And looking at the upcoming releases, 2021 is looking to be the most lit year ever!

Better keep in mind that not all releases could be for 2021, they may be bound to be delayed to 2022 or beyond.

Top 15 best anime of the year

I already have my top 4 contenders figured out for quite a while (Which you’ll find out), but as usual, figuring out the rest is quite difficult. At first I thought I had this list to top 10 maximum but now I got some perfect candidates to make this a top 15 list instead, a little shorter than last year’s with 20, but it’s worth it.

15.- Watanuki-san Chi To: It’s probably gonna be a permanent pattern where the Watanuki-san Chi series (if it’ll get more seasons, that is) will always be the first, or the bottom depending on how you read these top lists, since it’s a dorama and not an “anime,” but it’s still a good series regardless. And no it’s not honorable mention worthy because I really like the Watanuki-san Chi series.

Also, there are many people who make subtitled highlight clips of various VTubers, why aren’t they making fansubs of Watanuki-san Chi To or no streaming platform has picked up the series yet? smh.

14.- Eizouken

13.- Hentatsu (TV): I’m usually biased to Tatsuki’s works now that should have been amongst the top 3, and not to say this series is rather disappointing (I would never call any of Tatsuki’s works disappointing, bad or worst), but given that this is a short series, let alone EXTREMELY short with 1 minute and 30 seconds long (The size of openings and endings), I feel like it wasn’t enough.

There’s also this one episode in the TV series that is kind of the same as the one from the web series with some changes, like Tatsuki kinda threw this episode in there to fill the gap anyways.

(Web series - TV series comparison)

I kinda wish this was instead a full fledged TV series for Keifuku-san since Tatsuki tweeted this and even Crunchyroll thought it would be a Keifuku-san series, but he jebaited us all, but I do admit that I admire the troll marketing, that was quite an unexpected move.

Now it seems like we’re gonna have to wait until 2022 so we see a new Tatsuki release, I hope it is the Keifuku-san series that was supposedly teased, but if it’s gonna be another remake of Tatsuki’s old works like Kemurikusa or a brand new series, I’m down for whatever it may be.

(Also, let me painfully remind you that Tatsuki will never make Kemurikusa 12.2, so whatever happened at 12.1 will remain as a cliffhanger)

12.- Uzaki-chan wa Asobitai

11.- Girls’ Frontline Healing Chapter season 2

10.- Osomatsu-san season 3

8.- Magia Record: I don’t know about Magia Record as a game with its story, and in my opinion this one is probably not as messed up or even “revolutionary” as the main series back in the day, but it’s still an interesting series. regardless. I also reward Magia Record for having the Best Anime Soundtrack of the Year! Just listen to this masterpiece!

8.- Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni Gou

7.- Kaguya-sama season 2

6.- D4DJ First Mix: Sanzigen absolutely dominated this year with a ton of releases I never knew I needed, but with all these releases, we’ll have to pick TWO of the very best for this list BanG Dream season 3 and D4DJ, but first, we’ll start off with D4DJ First Mix!

I have made pretty much all the Sanzigen shows of the year but Bandori season 3 as A-tier anime (While the aforementioned Bandori S3 is S-tier), this was going to be another A-tier anime for the sake of being a new franchise, but after watching 5 episodes of the series, it already changed my mind that this is S-tier, I’m liking the concept and the characters very much!

5.- BanG Dream! season 3: Bandori season 3 is in my opinion is the series’ best season, mainly because I’ve been waiting for the plotline of Rokka being a member of RAS since I researched in the Wiki and stuff and saw these images of RAS that has Rokka in it, and this season overall made me like RAS a lot more, I would go so far to say that their chemistry and development are more interesting than their songs, not that I don’t like them or anything but I haven’t gotten the time to listen to them in Spotify.

But with my new-found love for RAS came at a cost and it was not very good: Their wasted potential in Garupa Pico Ohmori, you’ll find out why in my list of Worst Anime of the Year above.

4.- Fruits Basket season 2

3.- Ishuzoku Reviewers

I had trouble deciding on whether or not Ishuzoku Reviewers or Fruits Basket season 2 would be third place.

On one hand, Ishuzoku Reviewers is the most risk-taking and controversial ecchi series I’ve seen with very good hentai-worthy sex scenes and the series really speaks out to me the most since I’ve grown to have a very NSFW image, particularly with my few Custom Order Maid 3D2 content as well as my daily retweet spam of everything NSFW. With Fruits Basket, the story and character development continues to fascinate me and I can’t wait to see the final season next year.

But on the other hand, and mainly with Ishuzoku Reviewers, there are the cons like the show being biased with disgusting fetishes and even elfcist (That’s kind of a weird word I came up with. To put it better: elf discrimination), with Fruits Basket, I really don’t have much problems with the series overall except for the Student Council characters, they’re the absolute worst (Except Machi, she’s a good girl), and then there’s episode 9 of the season with Kyo talking to Akito and that was absolutely painful to watch (The main reason why is because the episode was too dark for me idk).

2.- ID:INVADED:To this day I still can’t get over how amazing the series is, from its animation from a struggling studio, to its story which actually got me a bit into theory crafting, my theories didn’t get paid off nor they were answered in the series which leads to plot holes, but I was very fascinated for the series.

1.- Akudama Drive: This is my grand savior of 2020, this is the one Tookyo Games project I was excited the most since the studio was founded and announced three other projects! Yes, call me biased due to my old love for Danganronpa, but I love this show! So much so that I would occasionally tell an old friend of mine to watch the series, I haven’t asked him too much about it nowadays, but I doubt he would still watch the series because he’s quite busy.

Honorable mentions

Sakura Wars: The Animation and Argonavis from BanG Dream: Counting double because they’re both Sanzigen shows. And they probably would have been in my main list, probably make one entry focused on all Sanzigen shows, but I had to pick Bandori season 3 and D4DJ separately if only Sanzigen didn’t abuse the hand drawn background characters way too much in Sakura Wars: The Animation, and the atrocious episode 13 of Argonavis.

Heya Camp

Nekopara

Brand New Animal

Attack on Titan The Final Season: I’m not convinced this has got to be Best Anime of 2020 material based on 4 episodes alone, I’m still going to wait until the series ends so I can officially declare this as Best Anime of 2021.

Aggretsuko season 3

Munou na Nana

Arknights Holy Knight Light: This came out in the 1st anniversary livestreams for global Arknights, which was around Christmas Eve. But despite the timing of the release, this is actually more like a New Year mini anime special, so it��s definitely worth rewatching a billion times every New Year!

Fate Grand Carnival: LAST MINUTE POST-PUBLISH EDITING BUT YOOOOOOOOOOOO, A BRAND NEW CARNIVAL PHANTASM WITH FGO SKIN?! SIGN ME UP!

OH WAIT, THERE WILL BE A SERIES TOO IN SUMMER?! LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(Source)

AFTER A YEAR WITH A DISAPPOINTING FATE SPECIAL IN 2019 WITH NOTHING BUT PURE FGO BABYLONIA, NOT ONLY THEY DELIVERED A TOTALLY NEW FATE SPECIAL ANIMATION, BUT ALSO A BRAND NEW CARNIVAL PHANTASM SERIES!!! BEST OF ALL, IT’S LERCHE THAT’S DOING THIS SERIES AGAIN! THE KING RETURNS!!!

OF COURSE THIS OVA ITSELF IS S TIER AND I’LL INCLUDE IT IN THE WINTER 2021 TIER!

Dishonorable mentions

Donkyuu Hentai HxEROS - Worst: This is my #1 dishonorable mention because, first of all, I should point out that pretty much the entire series is rather okay, in fact, it’s got some pretty good fanservice scenes (despite the jarring censors), I did like the series a bit and shouldn’t be considered the “worst” of the year, but there’s one character in particular who pretty much kills my interest in the series:

I stressed enough how much I hate Kirara to death! I’m not even gonna go bother going into details as to why do I hate Kirara, you can either read my previous anime review posts to see why do I absolutely hate her. She was truly painful to watch.

I have quite a list of waifus but I never necessarily hated a waifu ever, sure, there are those I don’t like or care but they’re not hate or worst worthy, but Kirara has become the first waifu I would officially call her as the worst waifu EVER. End of story.

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Danmachi season 3 and Castlevania season 3: Both have delivered some storylines I wasn’t particularly fond with (In the case of Castlevania S3, this is my unpopular opinion given that it was otherwise well-received), but that doesn’t mean they’re flat out disappointing like the following list.

Top 6 disappointing and worst anime of the year

6.- Welcome to the Japari Park season 2 - Disappointing: For a while I was kinda sad and wondering when will there be new episodes so the series can continue where episode 24 left off with Ceval being launched into Riukiu region, that is until on April 26th, I randomly found out the series was continuing, I was really excited to see the series continue! I was quite happy with the series returning and all, but what’s the catch with this second season (?) being so disappointing? Well, for the sole reason that this season is one cour shorter than the first season, lots of plot holes and rushed pacing that makes this final season unsatisfying (Given that this is a short series after all),

The problem is I didn’t know this was going to be the final season of the series, although I should have seen it coming from the very beginning but halfway through, it was time for the endgame.

So, after Welcome to the Japari Park ended, what about the future of Kemono Friends in the anime side of things? Should we expect a third Kemono Friends season this 2021? Although there hasn’t been signs of a third Kemono Friends season coming and it’s still debatable whether or not it should be a continuation of the first two seasons or make it an adaptation of the game with the same name, which it’s extremely baffling that the game called “Kemono Friends 3″ exists in the first place (Maybe it is the third Kemono Friends game in the series? I don’t know).

5.- BanG Dream! Garupa Pico Ohmori - Disappointing: I never watched the Garupa Pico series, so when Ohmori was announced, or rather, announced that RAISE A SUILEN and Morfonica were announced to appear in the series, I had to binge through the first season, and it was... Okay? I mean, it seems like a good series but I wasn’t really impressed.

I never knew there was a second season happening, that is until I randomly checked AIR’s Twitter and they posted a tweet of Garupa Pico Ohmori having a new visual that features RAS and Morfonica, which that means RAS and Morfonica are confirmed to appear in the series. I was of course excited to see RAS in this comedy spin-off, along with a band I haven’t seen in the main anime series yet, but one of the upcoming movies is going to feature Morfonica. Now, after seeing that AIR tweet, I don’t want to get into detail, but I saw a reply of some rando saying “The good Bandori series is here!” and I went into an argument with the guy, and the dude annoyingly repeats the word “Forced drama” to the main Bandori series. I was quite pissed throughout all that morning, but thankfully I didn’t become spoiled and my opinion on the main Bandori anime series hasn’t changed.

Anyways, moving on to actually talk about the series, it started quite strangely with an alien artifact of a guitar and all of a sudden the town where the girls usually go to CiRCLE has turned into a city with CiRCLE being nowhere to be found, the next few episodes were nothing really special, but then we finally got into episode 7 where it finally introduces RAS and Morfonica, I was so excited seeing my girls RAS appearing in the chibi spin-off series, episode 10 came out and it had Rei, which was nice and all, but then as more episodes went on and on, there was another episode that featured CHU2 and Pareo which is episode 22, the finale came which the RAS girls showed up again, and... I just realized... THEY ABSOLUTELY WASTED RAS AND THEY NEVER GOT A DEDICATED EPISODE! Even Morfonica of all bands actually got a dedicated episode for fuck’s sake! (Episode 19)

This is an absolute embarrassment, I grew to love RAS so much since Bandori season 3, I didn’t know the second season of Garupa Pico was coming which was announced for some time and they happened to reveal RAS and Morfonica, which leads me to believe they were never meant to have as much screentime like I hoped they would be, but they absolutely did RAS so dirty, I hate this!

I may be fixated the new characters, so what about the rest of the series with the original characters? Well, there’s not much to say other than for this season, I couldn’t care less for the OG cast as much as the new bands like I wanted to, and sometimes I did laugh into some episodes, but I wasn’t really impressed with the series AT ALL, like about 80% I didn’t find the humor at all.

So yeah, this was quite a disappointing season with not only being not very funny and interesting, but also wasting new characters, especially the one band I grew to love in Bandori S3. And to the guy I argued about the main Bandori anime series where he constantly said “forced drama” and he called the Garupa Pico series as “the good Bandori series,” I’m sorry but this ain’t it, chief.

One thing I do gotta compliment the series for is how nice the animation is, but also introducing Morfonica into the anime media before the main series did and after the Second Live film, I really hope Sanzigen could make a fourth season so it’ll properly introduce Morfonica into the series and that’s where I would start caring about them.

Speaking of Sanzigen, for some reason I always neglected this series in particular when talking about how many other shows Sanzigen released this year, at least the CG ones. And yes, believe it or not, the Garupa Pico series is actually made by Sanzigen, or at least co-produced by Sanzigen since there’s other studios attached, so this is more of a miscellaneous release compared to the rest of Sanzigen’s library that came out this year, the CG shows.

4.- Toji no Miko Tomoshibi - Worst: The Toji no Miko franchise continues to fail to impress me, and this OVA doesn’t really do any favors, the second part of the OVA completely bleed out my interest for its horrible writing and animation.

3.- Guraburu - Worst: Throughout the year, Cygames has released a couple of trash adaptations this year, but first let’s talk about Guraburu.

At first I thought this is the most offensively bad Cygames anime I watched, but it’s a little extreme, the better word I would describe this series is “bland” because everything about it is bland. The tone and direction seems awkward but the animation is almost Queen Bee-tier bad.

This is one media I truly think it should have stayed as it is and didn’t need to be brought to life in anime.

2.- Princess Connect Re:Dive - Worst: At first I thought Guraburu is the more offensively bad Cygames anime I watched this year but bland is kind of a different level of bad, but this one gave me a sour taste in my mouth. The series is pretty much a Konosuba wannabe, from the tone and goofy minor character designs, it just really turns me off, it just feels like this is not for me.

To make matters worse, it’s getting a second season this 2021, well, let’s see if this will make me feel better or worse with this adaptation.

One person who randomly found me on Twitter told me that this anime is more of a prologue for the non-Priconne players and doesn’t spoil some of the major arcs, I’m not sure if I can verify that since I haven’t really played Priconne but I’ll take it as a solid opinion to attack me for talking shit about the Priconne anime.

I’ve kind of come to realize that Cygames and their IPs don’t really resonate well with me at all, I’m probably not the biggest Cygames person or maybe I’ve grown to have a very complicated relationship with Cygames as a whole which makes me think I don’t even like how they’ve grown into. Probably the anime I’m okay with is Manaria Friends, in retrospect before I rewatch it, I think it was an alright series, but what I will never forget about the anime is how the series was originally gonna come out in 2016 but was delayed for 3 long years and I think that fact alone is more interesting than the series itself.

And for one last time, don’t even get me started on the Shadowverse anime, the way it is, is automatically trash because it’s not like the Shadowverse game I’ve seen my older sister play occasionally, and they even made a game based on this and I’m even shocked the series lasted this long. Glad I didn’t even watch it and thank god it’s about to end soon.

Interestingly, the English version of Priconne is coming out in 2021, with Crunchyroll Games handling the localization. While it’s interesting the game is finally getting localized after 3 years the game came out in Japan, but Crunchyroll Games doesn’t have quite a good history with their games, especially since the whole Danmachi game censorship false advertising controversy from 2018, so I don’t think I might have high hopes of playing the game if they might have any potential features removed, not to mention having THREE years of content behind from the JP version, this is worse than waiting 2 years for FGO content from JP to EN. Besides, I don’t even have space to play the game on my phone because it’s saturated with FGO, Azur Lane, Arknights and 5 thousand screenshots (Which I stored in my laptop because I didn’t have enough space. Though the only way to fixed the low space was just uninstalling and reinstalling Azur Lane which I did but I wish I didn’t drag all my 5k screenshots and I was trying so hard to put them back but it would take forever, so might as well save my 5k screenshots in my laptop and start from scratch).

1.- Isekai Quartet 2 - Disappointing: If Bandori Garupa Pico Ohmori’s waste of new characters wasn’t bad enough, Isekai Quartet season 2 does it a lot worse and this one in particular completely broke my heart the most, this is indeed the most disappointing anime of the year.

Just the #1 thing to explain why Isekai Quartet 2 let me down: WASTING THE SHIELD HERO CHARACTERS HARD!

Both Garupa Pico Ohmori and Isekai Quartet 2 just wasted the new characters so bad I have trouble on deciding which one’s worse, or if I would make a tie, but I had to go with Isekai Quartet 2 because the more I think about it, the more painful it gets, even more so than Garupa Pico Ohmori.

Garupa Pico Ohmori broke my heart the most because I’ve grown to really like RAS with Bandori season 3 the season prior to Garupa Pico Ohmori, Isekai Quartet 2 broke my heart the most because I binged Shield Hero In December of last year and I really liked it months prior to Isekai Quartet 2, BUT THE WORST PART IS that they COMPLETELY overhyped the Shield Hero characters and they turned out to be minor characters! I can’t believe I’ve grown to really like characters only for their potential in sequel appearances to be absolutely wasted in just a span of months! Not to mention both of the shows are absolutely unfunny and couldn’t care less for the OG cast more than the new characters which I wanted to like so bad if only they didn’t fuck up with their poor screentime.

With Isekai Quartet 3 coming this 2021, even though I will continue watching the series regardless, I don’t have high hopes for the series anymore, if they’ll continue adding new characters from properties I don’t know of or care to even bother binging their anime of origin, they’ll always end up overhyping them only for them to become minor character status.

Most anticipated anime of 2021

There’s like a lot of anime coming out next year and I kind of lost track of what’s coming out so I had to research and refresh my memory, there’s also other announced anime that are yet to resurface into the light of day (And no, don’t expect Girls’ Work, we all know that’s never gonna happen 100%).

In my previous HajiKo Anime Fall 2020 post, I mentioned my anticipated Winter 2021 releases, you can check that out as well, but what I’m going to talk about here is a general most anticipated anime of the year coming out.

Azur Lane Bisoku Zenshin: I talked about this in my previous post which I suggest you to check it out for more in-depth details as to why is this my most anticipated show of the season, but in this case, let me simply put because I love Azur Lane and I want more Azur Lane anime in my life, even if people would hate them or not (Preferably don’t hate on them).

Dr. Stone: Stone Wars: I was seriously amazed by the series and I wish I had watched it sooner or even completely binged the series when I did the first time with the first 3 episodes at some point, although having binged the first season early this month was a pretty good time to do so as the perfect prep for season 2.

Shield Hero season 2: Isekai Quartet 2 may have disappointed me with how hard it wasted the Shield Hero characters by overhyping and making them minor characters, but by surprise, we’re getting the second season which really deserves it!

Evangelion 3.0+1.0: Hopefully no last minute delays this time, and it’s actually about to be screened in Japanese theaters soon, but what matters to me the most is whether we’ll see it just in time for the Mexican release of the film. I’m pretty sure every Mexican is gonna be thriving so hard seeing this film given my some of my previous anime film experiences in the cinema.

There’s no way Mexico wouldn’t have Evangelion 4.0, it’s one of the most celebrated franchises in the world, probably not in the same vein as Dragon Ball which is overly popular in Mexico, and Evangelion 4.0 probably won’t have that high of a marketing or having a lot of cinemas available to my theaters, even with just one or two cinemas available, they’ll end up being filled to completely and a lot of people will scream their asses of in what’s going to happen.

Fate/Grand Carnival (Series): The best and most insane Type-Moon comedy series returns! But this time it’s all FGO-centered now!

Given that the old Carnival Phantasm was all Fate with Melty-Blood, not everyone may like the direction of this series given that FGO is a huge success. BUT WHO CARES?! I LOVE FGO AND I LOVE CARNIVAL PHANTASM, THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE!!!

And why is the second season coming out in my older sister’s birthday, August 25th, of all things?!

Kimetsu no Yaiba Infinity Train film: Just hoping for the film being released in Mexico. And I really hope ufotable can continue making seasons or films of the series given that the manga has now ended this year.

I just really hope they don’t make the Kimetsu no Yaiba franchise as another vaporware like Girls’ Work and the Katsugeki Touken Ranbu movie, although it’s unlikely they’ll do so given that Kimetsu no Yaiba has become a huge blockbuster series as of late, from topping One Piece’s manga sales to the Infinity Train film being the #1 highest grossing film in Japan OF ALL TIME, it’s crazy a Shonen series got to this scale! Fate (specifically the Stay Night series) and Kimetsu no Yaiba are ufotable’s cash cows, so it’s unlikely they would drop them and make them vaporware like their other projects.

Tokyo Babylon: This and Winter 2021′s Project Scard are actually two of GoHands’ TV series I’m excited, although I’m more hyped for Tokyo Bablyon than Project Scard because I would occasionally forget Project Scard’s name, at least the full name, that is until now which I haven’t been forgetting about it.

There’s something I have to address first because this was supposed to come out on April but it got delayed because of costume designs being referenced without permission for some reason, I find this reason incredibly weird and I don’t really understand what the hell is that supposed to mean.

As far as the trailers go, the animation is looking akin to the K series, not exactly the same but somewhere...? Which I think that’s what people are gonna like unlike Project Scard which is in the vein of Hand Shakers and W’z, but I don’t really mind, though.

The fact that this is an adaptation, an anime adaptation of a manga by CLAMP to top it all off, is quite surprising. I haven’t really watched any of GoHands’ adaptations and I’m not sure if I would have the time to do so, but I’m more biased towards the original stuff, and come to think of it, this is actually going to be the first adaptation by GoHands I’m ever going to watch.

B: The Beginning Succession: It’s been 2 long years (at least at the time of writing and publishing of this post) since I watched the first season and I really liked it, back when it was released in 2018, they even announced season 2 was happening and I completely forgot about it for so long!

World’s End Harem: I may or may not have heard good things about the series, probably the tone of the negative reception of the series is more like people are meme-ing this series in a terrified way for its concept or something, all of it in a very funny way, so I’m definitely checking this out. What could go wrong? And I really hope it has better waifus than HxEROS.

Fruits Basket The Final: Now we’ve finally come to the point where this anime is definitely going to adapt the manga finale for good where the original 2001 series couldn’t because the manga hadn’t ended at the time.

As I was researching in the Fruits Basket Wiki, there’s a three chapter arc focused on Shigure, Ayame and Hatori which takes place around the same time as the manga’s finale. This was actually published around the same time the first season of the remake had started airing, I don’t know anything about this and I haven’t read it yet, so I can’t assume if this is worth reading and even worth adapting, although I do wish this is actually adapted in the final season.

Uzaki-chan season 2

Zombieland Saga Revenge: I may have a complicated relationship with Cygames nowadays with their premiere IPs, but the most decent IP they made is this one, and as a birthday present in 2018, I was impressed. Not actually quite what I was expected from looking at the first promo poster, but it was quite an entertaining idol series.

I’m of course excited for the second season and what I’d really love to see the most is paying off the teaser from the final episode, that teaser is too good to be wasted in this season.

SSSS.DYNAZENON: I’d still watch this because it’s a follow-up of sorts to GRIDMAN, but my main gripe would be the character designs, some of them look cool but I’m not very impressed, none of them scream absolute material like Rikka and Akane because boy, there’s really a shitton of fan art and cosplays of them.

The Way of the Househusband/Gokushufudou: I’ve seen a lot of people talking about the manga, they get hyped about it a lot, it’s got a live-action series and now it’s finally getting an anime, so might as well check it out.

Godzilla Singular Point: About time a Godzilla anime that’s not made by Polygon Pictures, and to make things better, this is actually made by Bones AND Orange, talk about a dream team!

Speaking of Polygon Pictures...

Pacific Rim: The Black: This is what Polygon Pictures are currently making, which is coming to 2021 and I might check it out as well, even though I’m pretty lukewarm with Polygon as a studio and the Godzilla films were an absolute mess, what the hell were those? After the widely hated sequel of the original film (Though I actually liked it) and with this upcoming anime, I hope the future of the Pacific Rim franchise can be in good hands, even if it’s from a studio I may have a mixed relationship with.

There’s just something about Polygon that doesn’t sit well with me. Sure, the CG animation can be absolutely gorgeous and even I can admit that they’re way better than Sanzigen and Orange where they don’t even do hand drawn background characters, but something still feels off with me, like the tone or whatever. I’m probably just blindly hating on Polygon years after watching the Godzilla films and I should at least check out HUMAN LOST to get a better impression on Polygon overall.

Kaguya-sama season 3 and OVA: I was very impressed with the second season, so might as well follow the Kaguya-sama series now.

Dragon Maid S: Hopefully what I’m about to say isn’t of bad taste. The Kyoto Animation arson was one of the worst events of 2019, while the majority of the staff members are safe, there are those who did not, including the director of the first season of Dragon Maid.

One year later after millions of dollars in donations, KyoAni seems to be doing fine as of late, with their latest release being Violet Evergarden The Movie which was released this September.

Although I haven’t seen any footage of Violet Evergarden The Movie for me to judge how KyoAni’s animation style after the arson would still hold up. And that’s where the second season of Dragon Maid comes in.

Even though KyoAni isn’t my most favorite anime studio, I do hope they have recovered well and got a handful of new and good staff members so they’ll keep their magic going.

Okay, I’d better stop right there before it can get any worse. NEXT!

Shenmue anime: Shenmue 3 finally came out a few years ago but literally nobody, at least from what I know, have even talked about it, whether it was worth the wait or not, just nothing.

Given that people hate video game adaptations, this in no way shape or form could regain interest in Shenmue, or maybe it will by making people play the games in order to forget about the anime, however it may end up being.

Speaking of video game anime adaptations...

The World Ends With You anime: I never played TWEWY in my life and a lot of people really love the game, and 2021 is looking to be the best year for TWEWY fans with not only this new anime, but also a long-awaited brand new game! (Not sure if I would call it a “sequel” of sorts but it’s 100% a brand new game).

Since this is a game adaptation and usually people hate video game adaptations, I never played TWEWY before and this is my one way to experience the story, and the animation is looking nice too. So here’s hoping for me as a non-TWEWY player that I wouldn’t be gatekept by hardcore TWEWY fans with how terrible the anime is and whatever, I don’t care!

Now, like I mentioned earlier, there should be anime that have been relatively recently announced or has been announced for over a year, and they should resurface into the light of day this time. Starting with...

New Touken Ranbu Hanamaru anime: For a while I always thought the Touken Ranbu franchise is dormant at this point, mainly with no new anime, especially the Katsugeki Touken Ranbu movie being another one of ufotable’s vaporware works or they probably ditched it for good in favor of Kimetsu no Yaiba and who knows if we’ll ever see anything from it.

Not that I think the Touken Ranbu series is dead, there’s still figures and other merchandise and most importantly, the game is still alive, although I don’t hear much about it but it’s definitely still alive thanks to fujo power, but I think the anime is probably what keeps me intact about the franchise’s relevancy. (And this is coming from a guy who’s hardcore into stuff for male demographic with lots of female characters and has a strong thirst for them. Hey, I gotta change teh pace every once in a while, okay? I do care about male characters sometimes, even my own)

One day, in January 2020, I randomly came across a post from Crunchyroll that a new Touken Ranbu Hanamaru project is coming! Finally, about time for some more Hanamaru! Now I should point out that YES the post explicitly says “project” which it could be an anime, a game or whatever, and I said that this could possibly be an anime, but I still want to hope it is a new anime because that’s the #1 thing I want the most.

Now that I think about it, since this was vaguely said as a project which means it can be a different media... Is there by any chance like some sort of manga or whatever media has actually been released throughout this entire 2020 and I may have never heard of it? I really hope there isn’t any other media that I might have overlooked, and if I do find out it exists, I’m going to be utterly disappointed.

Magia Record second cour: Given that this is a Madoka Magica series, I expected Magia Record to be an all two-cour series... But unfortunately it’s not, and to make it worse, the second cour wasn’t even made until the first cour finale aired and they announced it’s in production. Like... Really? Even some ufotable shows and even the second cour of Re:Zero season 2 wouldn’t announce something like that!

Inferno Cop season 2: I honestly kinda wish this shouldn’t made because it’s been so long since they announced it and no new information has come out of it so far, but my main reason why I don’t want this to be made is because the seiyuu of Inferno Cop himself passed away, and hearing Inferno Cop with a different seiyuu may not feel the same.

Megalobox season 2: I’m still wondering if this is even needed given how the first season ended and how much TMS has been working on Fruits Basket and even Dr. Stone.

Made in Abyss season 2: With the film recently being released, it is now confirmed that season 2 (?) is a go. I can see this being potentially released in 2022, but I’m still going to mention it anyways.

Anenarumono OVA: It’s been forever since this was announced, like very early into 2020 in fact and when we get to 2021, it’s going to be a full year since this was announced and so far nothing has come of it.

This is most likely going to be an adaptation of the SFW manga series since there is an R-18 doujin series as well, if this would be a hentai OVA from the R-18 doujin series, I probably wouldn’t have seen big anime news sites like Natalie Comics, AIR or even Anime News Network reporting on it and Pochi herself would have tweeted or retweeted the trailers of the hentai OVA or something.

The animation in the Okaa-san Desu Ka (Isekai MILF) series was absolutely garbage, so I really hope the animation in this one is good.

And finally, I decided to put this one to last because it’s something that it recently just got announced, it may or may not come in 2021 but I’m very excited might as well be my #1 anticipated anime of 2021:

Chainsaw Man: A while ago, I read the first chapter of Chainsaw Man a while ago, and I thought it was cool and stuff but I wasn’t sure if I would read it for my entire life, as of late I’ve been seeing quite a lot of fan art

The announcement of the anime as well as the manga ending as Part 1 were actually all leaked a few days prior to the release of the final chapter of the manga, which was December 13th, later I started hearing stuff about how the editor is straight up telling people and news pages to not do any reports about it until the official formal announcement, which that definitely confirmed it was a thing, it was pretty much an open secret.

The funniest thing is, as I was reading the manga a while ago, I thought to myself “I kind of see Chainsaw Man getting adapted by MAPPA with the looks of Dorohedoro,” I never watched Dorohedoro but from what I’ve seen with how the series look with the CG and its aesthetic, it’s perfect for Chainsaw Man, and now... The dream of MAPPA adapting the Chainsaw Man anime became true, so it’s either a dumb fantasy that came true or I actually predicted MAPPA doing the Chainsaw Man anime, you can interpret however you’d like. But with that being said about MAPPA doing the Chainsaw Man anime, it may or may not look like Dorohedoro, I don’t think I would mind if the Chainsaw Man anime wouldn’t look like Dorohedoro.

Now my biggest concern with the series is that it might get heavily censored because it is a pretty grotesque series and sometimes sexual, but for the most part it’s absolutely gorey, and that’s the kind of series I like. In my Fall 2020 anime review post, in my review of Akudama Drive, I criticized how Japanese media can be inconsistent in how much can they get away with gore in some cases, and in others they’ll just paste black blurs. If the censorship can be extremely bad in the Chainsaw Man anime, it would probably be the one thing that would disappoint me so bad, and I don’t want them to tone down the gore either because it would be equally lame, if not, lamer. When I read the manga, every time I see the blood, I always think of the red blood given that it’s usually colored in black, but when I see colored promos and stuff, I see the blood in various different colors other than red, I’m not sure why it is, but if that’s what the series in full color is, especially for the anime, I think it would be perfect for the anime to be censorship-free but it’s still unlikely, who knows, we’ll see what happens.

Around the time of the announcement of the anime, I made a rant about how MAPPA can be a hit or miss for me in terms of their animation, and now that I think about it, their portofolio even, but the animation is a bigger issue for me. I also thought I would see MAPPA as a somewhat alternative to Madhouse, which is funny given that it was founded by a former Madhouse producer, but at the same time that’s not enough for me to care about MAPPA as I do with Madhouse, or old Madhouse, I’m probably not a fan of current Madhouse, and this goes back to their animation styles. Even if I’m lukewarm with MAPPA, their Chainsaw Man anime is something I’m genuinely excited for, it was something that randomly came into my mind and somehow it became true.

I might have a really high expectation that the Chainsaw Man anime should look like Dorohedoro, I really should try to lower my expectations and try to not care for how would the anime end up looking. Something with the likes of Kakegurui would be nice, maybe Jujuutsu Kaisen too (Even though I don’t really watch the series but it seems like it’s quite popular right now), I just really don’t want something like Granblue Fantasy season 2 because that show absolutely made me sick.

Anyway, I really love Chainsaw Man now, I wish I had read the manga sooner, especially when it came out, but now having read the manga now was a good time to do so given that the manga ended (at least in Part 1) and the anime being announced. (Although I probably forgot what the story is at this point (Except some “key moments”), so the anime can help me refresh my mind)

Top 4 best video games of the year

This is my least favorite list to make in these New Year posts because I never play a single new release because for years I never had a PS4 and even now I still don’t have money to buy games or to buy a Switch and games if I want to, so whenever I make these lists, I always tend to watch Let’s Plays from YouTubers I like the most (GTFO Jacksepticeye), I rarely watch all cutscenes only videos nowadays, and doing so makes me feel like this is cheating because doing these lists is more about experience by one self. Sure, some people would say you would still try to like a game just by watching, but in my honest opinion, it’s just not the same. But now this list is going to be different!

So for this list, I’m only gonna choose the games I actually happen to play for once, I usually make these lists by including a bunch of games I haven’t even played at all, so it’s finally time to make an unbiased list of video games of the year, not including ports and/or re-releases of old games or an obscure game suddenly getting attention, even if this list is awfully short but it’s the bare minimum I could make.

I’m not sure what to make of this list, I haven’t played some of the games in this list but I’m just gonna put them for how impressive they are even by just watching anyways:

4.- Helltaker: This game became quite a sleeper hit amongst the internet, spawning countless fanart and Helltaker dance parodies. The game might be very short, but the future of the characters doesn’t end there, as the creator would occasionally make comics and sometimes small art with the characters.

3.- The Henry Stickmin Collection: Believe it or not, I grew up with Newgrounds during my childhood, but I’ve never really played a Henry Stickmin game EVER in my entire life.

2.- Arknights: Over the last year, 2019, I’ve been seeing quite a lot of fan art of the game, there’s a lot of really good character designs, I really like them all. The game at the time was only released in China, however, at the end of 2019, I was hearing that Arknights was being localized into Japanese and English simultaneously, a “global” release, if you call it. It’s localized none other than Yostar of Azur Lane fame. Anyways, enough with that talk, let’s talk about the game.

I did get to start playing the game on day 1 launch, I was quite intrigued the story, the characters, etc. Although I was at a point where I wouldn’t play the game as much and only do logins, but after a few months, as I was progressing through the game and when the Grani event came out, I actually quit playing the game because... It was very hard! There’s a lot of strategies I have to do because there can be really hard enemies, not to mention I was quite underpowered with operators not well leveled enough.

I stopped playing Arknights for a while, that is until late April to early May where my older sister has started playing Arknights, that’s where I immediately decided to play Arknights again, and now it has become my third game I religiously play, the first being FGO and second being Azur Lane. Over the course of the entire year, I’ve been leveling up some operators and as of now I have 10 operators I have E2′d, so I made some significant progress, although I’m still rough in having fully built operators because grinding for the materials is a huge pain in the ass, but sometimes it can be rewarding.

My luck with the gacha is hit or miss, sometimes I get the characters I wanted, sometimes I don’t for the absolute worse. Now with the first anniversary coming, my most wanted operator is W, she and Ch’en are my most wanted operators, but after trying to get Ch’en so many times with definitely NO LUCK AT ALL, but my greatest disappointment was W yesterday, I never got W at all and only got a Phantom and TWO Weedys for six stars and I was so furious! I’ve been wanting her for so long, and the saddest part is that she’s limited and I won’t be able to get her ever again! After all my efforts in saving a lot of orundum, materials and even making this meme, everything has gone into an absolute waste and I really bummed out!

On a lighter note, W was originally going to be a Girls’ Frontline character but she was scrapped, which makes her a lot more interesting. (Someone even made this). I gotta say, releasing chapter 7 and W now instead of actually waiting until the day the game launched which is in January 16th, they certainly ended the year with a bang! (And with a bummer of not getting W, but still...)

UPDATE - JANUARY 2ND 2021: SHE’S FINALLY HOME!!!!!!! OFF TO A GREAT START INTO 2021!!!!

End of update.

In fact, Arknights was created by former Girls’ Frontline developers, quite surprising. I wouldn’t say Arknights is a competitor nor a spiritual successor to Girls’ Frontline, both have completely different concepts, also, I wouldn’t expect for them to ever make collab events for each other in either game. Then there’s the character W which I mentioned previously, she actually happens to be spawned from a scrapped Girls’ Frontline character for the AR Team, I like how people joke about W being the AR Team’s long lost sister. As of late I’m feeling really obsessed about W, and for a while, the fact that she was a scrapped T-Doll makes her a lot more interesting.

Given that Arknights was released last year in 2019 and we got the global versions early this year, having 1 year away from content isn’t necessarily bad and I’m better off playing the English version right now, but as of late, Yostar appears to be rushing some content released from CN into global, which that’s a plus for me, they’re slowly catching up to CN, just like how EN Azur Lane started with slow content but recently they’ve been releasing content ALMOST simultaneously (Not that I particularly care for EN since I’ve been playing JP a month after launch back in 2017 anyway), but the biggest problem is as I started following some Arknights dedicated accounts where they report stuff from CN and even took a bit of some livestreams, recently CN’s going crazy with amazing content that it may take a few months or a year for global to catch up, so I really hope Yostar does their best to try to release content for Arknights semi-simultaneously between CN and global a la Azur Lane.

I mainly play the EN version of the game and tend to follow the official EN channels (Though I follow JP’s too), but I found some problems with the PR behind EN. My biggest problem is that EN make some absolutely painful to watch livestreams with no seiyuu like JP does and having total nobodies as hosts (Except Intern-kun which he is kinda known and was a meme but I don’t think he’s quite a meme anymore), sometimes there were two other hosts with big animal heads, and some other plethora of issues addressed by Tectone in this video, in short, some of the exclusive YouTube content the EN Arknights channel comes up with like the livestreams can be absolutely garbage.

By the way, Arknights gave us a pretty good content creator who was quite a meme, he was actually sponsored and got his infamous ad which I didn’t even know this was a thing and still find it hard to believe since I use uBlock Origin to block ads. Even though he probably wasn’t the best go-to content creator for Arknights news and stuff, nobody agreed on what he says and he was occasionally criticized, he was especially fun to watch his suffering in every roll. At some point around the beginning of the second half of the year, he started to do livestreams and uploaded highlight clips of said streams of games like Fall Guys and Among Us, which I thought it was a nice change of pace considering there wasn’t much Arknights content at the time, but at that point, Genshin Impact was around the corner and he started making a lot of videos for it which now he’s pretty much become the Genshin Impact guy, and then he finally released that video completely declaring he absolutely retired from Arknights for good which I linked earlier in the PR issues, so after that, I stopped caring about Tectone completely. It’s a real shame because I actually wanted to see him pull for W this first anniversary, but there are some things that pissed me off about him, he never even cared about the story, or rather the game as a whole to begin with, talk about being ungrateful to the game that made you successful and get a cult following to begin with, but the dude was harassed, so I’d better cut him some slack.

Speaking of sponsors, I actually wished Yostar continued to sponsor Arknights but on better YouTubers like Whang, ThatGamerFromMars, the Vanoss crew, and all the other ones who get sponsored to death by Raid Shadow Legends (Raid Shitty Legends, am I right?), and the last channel they sponsored was fucking WatchMojo of all things. I mean, seriously?

Although not everything about the EN PR is bad, most of the Twitter and YouTube stuff is pretty much stuf about the game like upcoming new operators and events, and English subtitled trailers which for the most part is nothing really worth noting but this is pretty much my go-to for the news and trailers. They also have a Fankit website which I can download wallpapers and stickers, and yes, I do use the wallpapers, sometimes I do use some stickers but I like keeping them. They even team up with DJs and they actually release some pretty good music with cool CG animated music videos. Said artists happen to be from Steve Aoki’s record label Dim Mak, and even Steve Aoki himself did some music for the game and actually appeared in the Arknights 1st anniversary livestream from the EN channel to make comments about his latest track and saying he loves anime which I didn’t know Steve was a weeb. (Here’s the full livestream if you wanna watch it).

Anyways, enough PR talk, this is a pretty fun game! I probably never had prior experience in playing tower defense games, though the closest would be the PS3 demo of Plants vs Zombies, so I can say this is my #1 tower defense game and I’d absolutely recommend to everyone.

1.- Genshin Impact: My main contender for my #1 GOTY was No More Heroes 3, but since it got delayed to 2021, there was nothing else that’s #1 worthy for me, but enter Genshin Impact, a AAA gacha game at its finest, this became quite a big surprise of the year!

At first I wasn’t hugely interested in it, but then I was constantly seeing fan arts and people talking about the game in my timeline and I was feeling left out, so I tried playing the game a bit on my phone but I barely had any space left, so I had to uninstall Girls’ Frontline from my phone (sorry), so I had barely some space left, but the game ran extremely slow for my phone, as expected, it’s a very intensive game. Later I tried installing the game on my laptop, but because of my problem with my ethernet in my laptop constantly turning on and off, it took HOURS upon HOURS instalilng the game, that is until I got fatal errors at the last minute which completely made the installer download from 0%... TWICE! And I was done with it.

Then I was chatting with my older sister and she mentioned that the game is on Playstation, so she downloaded it, and upon seeing her play the game, it looks gorgeous, especially on her flat screen TV! It’s better having to play the game in better graphics and in a bigger screen, so I made a separate PSN account for myself and played it and I’m very hooked.

Probably the biggest things I’ve been seeing when the game came out were Paimon emergency food memes, I’ve been seeing a lot of memes and fan art related to these and they range from hilarious to downright disturbing (As people would meme Paimon as an “emergency onahole” as well). Nowadays I continue to see fan arts of Genshin Impact, particularly those of Mona, occasionally Barbara, Lisa, etc, but Mona is the most frequent.

But the problem is I'm so far behind of adventure rank and everything else from everyone else, even Ten and my older sister, I don't have a lot of characters and I don't have enough Primogens and the gacha system can really suck pretty bad with it being mostly saturated with weapons over characters. Not even FGO and Action Taimanin would they give me craft essences and weapons would be this bad, although in the case of FGO, I do get more CEs than Servants and stuff, but the way Genshin Impact presents me with low star weapons and literally no characters, it's just a hideous sight to look at.

The other problem is that since we only have one PS4 and our home consoles have always been shared, my older sister and I switch turns, but when it comes to single player games, we've always been using my older sister's PSN account, but with Genshin Impact, this is definitely our first time playing games on different accounts for the both of us for once. But the thing is, my older sister ALWAYS plays Genshin Impact, I admire her dedication but that barely gives me some time to play the game myself along with other factors why I don't do so, such as sleeping for hours, busy with other games and stuff, etc.

Playing Genshin Impact, given that it's an open world game, definitely reminds me of the good old days when I used to play Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, I destroyed that game with pretty much beating everything, but with Genshin Impact, I'm feeling like I'm out of practice with patience and playing games for hours due to my addiction of social media and other gacha games.

Then there’s also some performance issues specifically on the PS4, sometimes there can be quite the lag on location rendering (Like when I spawn in Mondstadt and textures take seconds to render sometimes), frame drops when I did co-op in the Unreconciled Stars event, etc. I don’t know about PC or PS5, but I’m pretty sure the game would run somewhat better on PC especially.

I rarely encounter bugs in a game, but Genshin Impact is the one game that I can definitely find more noticeable bugs and other flaws more than any other game I’ve ever played in my life.

Aside from performance issues and despite not playing the game as religiously like I want to, it’s still a very solid game. Gacha has been a genre that I’ve religiously been playing for 3 years and this really speaks to me, as I used to play a lot of video games for hours in the past and just a few months after playing DMC5 on our PS4, I’ve come back to the console and spend some hours playing on it again.

If I had a PS5 for myself but with a better TV in my bedroom right now, I would have absolutely made a lot of progress on my own and boy, my older sister must be way too far ahead with our adventure ranks, the campaign and even getting better characters than I do... ;-;

Honorable mentions

And here we are, the lamest part of doing these top game lists, whether main or honorable mentions, it’s always acknowledging games for their existence and sometimes simply from watching Let’s Plays which kind of defeat the purpose of making these lists based on actual experience, but who cares? Let’s talk about the games that I may not have played but peaked my interest in the least.

DOOM Eternal: Around the time of DOOM Eternal’s release, I somehow finally got into Doom by playing the classic games (Except Doom 3, I wouldn’t mind playing it, though), so I think I totally consider myself a big fan of Doom now (Even I played some WADs was breifly interested in wanting to make one), but what about Doom Eternal? Even if I had watched videos of Doom 2016, I of course liked the game for how it looks, but with Doom Eternal, it is absolutely better.

Based on what I remember seeing from Doom 2016 and with Doom Eternal, they’re like the modern equivalents of Doom 1 and 2, particularly with the final bosses being the Spider Mastermind in Doom 2016 and the Icon of Sin in Eternal.

When I first saw Doom Eternal being announced in Bethesda’s E3 2018 conference, as far as I can remember, I thought it would be like a random new game that has nothing to do with Doom 2016 or something, but as time went on and I kind of forgot about what I thought but now thinking back, looking at the trailers and even the actual game, my expectations have exceeded. Looking back at Doom 2016, it now pales in comparison towards Doom Eternal, from its UI to some of its more faithful monster designs from the classic Doom games!

Although even if Doom Eternal is great, there were some problems about Mick Gordon not being able to do the sound mixing for the soundtrack and all that drama, that could have ruined the game for being GOTY or something. (I’m exaggerating but it was quite a serious problem back then).

Speaking of Doom Eternal being GOTY, I’m seeing quite a lot of people saying that this is their GOTY, which is funny because I originally had Doom Eternal as my #1 GOTY in the main list which I later changed it to Genshin Impact in my TRUE best games of the year list with games I actually played, I still think this is GOTY, but without actual experience, it’s not worth counting it on the main list.

Resident Evil 3 Remake: Surprisingly RE3 Remake was rather divisive, probably the biggest reason I can think of as to why the game is divisive is because it’s rather short. Sure, the game is short but calling it a disappointment is an absolute understatement, as long as the game continues to have beautiful graphics from RE2 Remake, the gameplay is satisfying and has quite some spooks, it’s still good enough for me.

Call me crazy to judge the game this way considering I’ve only ever played the demo in my PS4.

Devil May Cry 5: Special Edition: I was quite surprised they actually went ahead in making a Special Edition of DMC5, I mean, I thought they wouldn’t based on what they said about “no more developments” for DMC5, but with the PS5, that all changed. And of course, it cannot be a Special Edition without playable Vergil who not only has a really awesome gameplay, but he has the absolute BEST theme that actually surpassed Devil Trigger. Man, Vergil always gets the best themes.

The only caviat with DMC5: Special Edition is that it’s only made for the next-gen consoles. or it has rather become the current-gen consoles as of now, that is all because Capcom wants to take advantage of the PS5 and Xbox Series’ technologies with the ray tracing and turbo mode, but not all hope is lost as they actually made Vergil available for previous gen consoles as DLC, so that’s an absolute win!

A few days after he was released as the DLC, I got a chance to play as Vergil and I pretty much speedran through the Devil Hunter difficulty in 6 and a half hours, and I think I’m almost not out of practice on playing Vergil since DMC3SE. By almost I mean that most of the time I was familiar with the controls and the movesets, but at the same time they tweaked a little bit of some of those familiar controls from what I remember and added some cool new combos. Oh, by all that I meant that he’s absolutely fun to play.

I kinda wish they did make Trish and Lady playable as well, just like in DMC4SE, but they kinda turned out to be useless throughout the story, so this could have been the only chance for Capcom to redeem themselves with the characters, but I guess not.

Among Us: The game came out in 2018, but out of the blue, it has now become a massively popular game. I had always thought Henry Stickmin was part of why Among Us is popular, but not really, it was a streamer with a lot of followers to make it happen.

To be honest, I kind of wish Henry Stickmin was as popular as Among Us, the only thing from Henry Stickmin that was apparently a big meme (Which I wasn’t even aware of and never seen such memes in my Twitter timeline) is the distraction dance.

Persona 4 Golden PC: For a while I’ve been seeing news about leaks and stuff like that, I was skeptical about it, but it has finally become real.

For a while I did want to buy the game, but I didn’t want to spend quite the amount of money and I was kind of skeptical of how demanding the game might be, but out of the blue, my good old Japanese friend gamer Hinosuna came to the rescue and gifted me the game (He also had gifted me Mortal Kombat 9 after it was removed from Steam a few months earlier, and with Persona 4 Golden, this is probably the last game he’ll ever gift me).

Upon opening the game, the first problem I immediately encountered is the cutscenes running extremely atrocious, they were running extremely stuttery, it was so bad I had to find an all cutscenes video with Japanese language (Since I had the game set in Japanese audio), but then when it was time for the gameplay, the game isn’t insanely demanding like I thought it would be for my laptop, it’s an absolute win! From what I heard about this problem with the cutscenes, it’s probably a problem that’s only affected on laptops, so I believe people must have the cutscenes running like normal in their insanely powerful desktop computers, lucky you.

A few months later, they eventually fixed the cutscenes... Supposedly. The cutscenes for me run a little better, but they still work just as badly. Instead of having the cutscenes extremely stuttery, like I previously had, instead I may have a bit of lag but the visuals can get very glitchy, like scratched DVDs.

By the way, this happens to be the most successful PC port on Steam, given how successful it is, I completely forgot that the Catherine PC port exists and looking back at it, I can’t help but laugh at how the PC port of Catherine wouldn’t get to this level of success P4G has, especially because it’s a fan favorite enhanced version of a Persona game and because you probably wouldn’t find a copy of the game for PS Vita if you still have a PS Vita lying around which makes this port ten times more accessible, this is how successful it turned out to be, in my opinion. I could be wrong and there can be other reasons why it’s successful, but this is my main theory.

Now, since I’m traumatized from my PS2 dying in 2014 when I was doing Shadow Yukiko or Kanji in New Game+ after doing the bad ending, this is my chance to redeem myself, I want to get the true ending this time, especially with a new port of the better version of Persona 4 Golden! ...Or so I thought I wanted to be.

When I was playing P4G, I was trying to get 100% on my first playthrough and it puts me quite a lot of compromise, there’s just something about playing the game windowed while looking through guides at the same time that not only makes it distracting, it completely slows me down, not to mention I’ve actually been burned out from playing the game overall...

As of now I’m on June 29th and already doing Shadow Rise’s world, I think it’s decent progress but that’s how far I am by early December this year after not playing the game for... MONTHS. At this point I also try not to care about following guides and just do whatever is best for me and I can try to do better when I do New Game+.

I want to go back and finish the game once and for all, but I’m very busy with other games and other things, I’ve been held back very much on them and even when I try to play the game, sometimes on midnight, I immediately lose my patience. I don’t know what to do...

Hopefully next year, I’ll try to go back and try to finish the game once and for all, I don’t want to make Hinosuna’s gift a waste, I’m really proud of him gifting me the game.

Final Fantasy VII Remake: I can’t remember when was the first trailer shown in E3, 2015? We’ve come a long way and FFVII remake is finally here. Apparently I heard this is a two-part game, so I hope we won’t wait for a really long time for the second time, probably not the same amount of time as we waited for the first part, but worse, perhaps even longer.

Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Action Taimanin (English and PC): I played Action Taimanin back when it was released on mobile in Japanese in 2019, but since I was done with the campaign and there was nothing else to do, I decided to stop playing it and uninstalled it from my phone to make space, but to my surprise, I randomly happened to find out that an English version AND PC port of the game was released on Steam in October 6th, I kinda wish it did came out on my birthday so it could have been more enjoyable, but whatever.

Having known that Action Taimanin was gonna be released on PC with English translation, that’s where I thought “It’s time to return to Action Taimanin!” unlike the one time I said I would because Rinko Akiyama was released as a playable character in the mobile game, but now I have her AND Mizuki Shiranui, which I got them both at their launch dates, I also got Emily Simmons as well but not right on time for her launch but it was still worth the wait.

Speaking of Asagi, one other surprising thing I found out about Asagi when I started playing the PC port is that they actually patched out Asagi’s voice by recasting her with a different actress, apparently it happened since late June for rather unknown reasons. For those who don’t know, Asagi was originally voiced by Ami Koshimizu and now she’s voiced by Sayumi Watabe (Who’s claim to fame is Els from Beastars and Manaka from Aggretsuko season 3).

Square Enix Avengers: I wanted to like this game because I always had thought this would be part of the Spider-Man PS4 universe, a Marvel Gaming Universe of sorts, even if it isn’t, I was still interested and I didn’t tolerate how people would trash the game. The game now came out, mixed reviews and a plethora of far worse problems, like how very little the game made and low playerbase on Steam and what not. None of that stuff is my problem, I would really love to play the game now.

Dishonorable mention (?):

This is hardly a dishonorable mention in an ill matter, but something that completely shocks me, so might as well be in a disappointing sense.

Cyberpunk 2077: I was never interested in The Witcher series, but I admire them as a video game adaptation of a novel which aspires me in wanting to write novels for them to get adapted primarily into games, however, Cyberpunk 2077 was the CD Projekt Red title I was genuinely interested.

The game came out and I saw a tweet from Nibel that it’s got quite some good reviews, but over the next few days... Things started to get very sour...

The game launched at a very buggy state, it even got removed on console digital stores, the game is unplayable on consoles and money loss... Everything just feels disheartening, and it’s not fair...

This is the one game from CD Projekt Red that I wanted to start caring about as well as the studio, but after the PR mess and constant delays leading up to a messy release (at least on consoles from what I mainly hear), and everything else that’s been happening, now it seems like people are turning against CD Projket Red which they were once highly regarded, I just hope Cyberpunk 2077 can recover so it’ll eventually turn into the next timeless masterpiece like it was supposed to be after The Witcher 3.

Although not all hope can be lost as I still see some people playing Cyberpunk 2077 fine, at least on PC maybe, and that’s enough to make me confident that not everything is all bad.

Most anticipated video games of 2021

Now we’re finally on my favorite category, and first and foremost, my most MOST anticipated game of the year is of course...

No More Heroes 3: With NMH3 finally being delayed to 2021, that was my last final nail in the coffin to care about 2020 as a whole, BUT, not ALL hope is lost! As on October 28th 2020, Suda51 actually released THE FIRST TWO GAMES into Nintendo Switch! This is an absolute win-win, I can finally play ALL No More Heroes games in the most recent console possible... Except I still don’t have a Switch and I seriously need it so bad now. 😭 (And now I’m hearing news that the first two games might actually come out on PC, which I don’t think I’ll need a Switch anymore, at least for this, I still need it so bad to play NMH3 on launch) I’m so glad Travis Strikes Again sold so well to make NMH3 happening, hell, it it didn’t, the post-credits scene could have been a total waste and I would have been forever heartbroken!

For a long time I was skeptical for the soundtrack, I always thought it wouldn’t sound anywhere near as good as the first two games without Masafumi Takada, but in reality, Takada never actually composed the soundtrack for NMH2 to begin with, in fact, he had already left Grasshopper around NMH2′s release. But regardless, I still thought the NMH3 soundtrack wouldn’t sound as good as the first two games (Sorry TSA, I haven’t paid attention to your OST), but then I listened to WILD TOKYO, the first album by RED ORCA, a band formed by composer Nobuaki Kaneko, and I was very impressed, so I guess it changed my mind. Actually, the album contains three tracks that have been heard on the trailers, like “ORCA FORCE,” “beast test,” and “Octopus.” That’s not to say that the album is the ENTIRE soundtrack for NMH3, only these three are what are currently known based on the trailers, so who knows if the rest of the album is actually the NMH3 OST or there’s gonna be entirely original tracks for different things.

However, there’s one thing that I’m scared the most is the probability of recasting Quinton Flynn from Henry (in case he might appear in NMH3 since Travis Strikes Again) due to some allegations towards him, I really hope everything that I’m hearing is just made up bullshit that people want to cancel others they hate for no absolute reason. Although I’m hearing all of this from word-of-mouth and nobody sources, if there’s something that’ll immediately convince these allegations are true, is by seeing legit sources like Anime News Network, OR EVEN other actors speaking about it (Though they would most likely easily jump into the conclusion and easily agree to the allegations without any solid solid proof (Yes, I’ve seen a screenshot but I don’t want to believe it)). If Henry does appear in NMH3 but he gets recast before launch or worse, AFTER launch, I’m going to be very sad and it’ll probably be one of the things that NMH3 may disappoint me.

And lastly, I̵ ̵S̵W̵E̴A̸R̴ ̶T̵O̸ ̸G̶O̸D̵ ̷I̷ ̴R̴E̷A̷L̷L̶Y̶ ̴H̵O̷P̷E̴ ̴T̴H̴I̵S̸ ̵W̴O̷N̶’̶T̴ ̶B̸E̶ ̴T̶R̴E̷A̵T̵E̸D̷ ̴I̸N̷ ̷T̴H̶E̵ ̶S̴A̶M̷E̶ ̷W̵A̸Y̵ ̷A̷S̸ ̵T̷L̷O̴U̴2̸ ̸O̸R̵ ̴T̷H̴E̸ ̷O̶T̷H̴E̸R̷ ̴T̵H̸I̵N̶G̸S̴ ̴F̸R̵O̸M̸ ̷T̶H̵E̸ ̵L̸A̵S̵T̴ ̴3̶ ̸Y̴E̵A̷R̸S̶ ̷W̴H̷I̸C̵H̶ ̴I̷ ̸M̴E̴N̵T̸I̵O̷N̷E̴D̴ ̴A̴G̷E̴S̶ ̸A̷G̶O̵!̷!̶!̶!̷!̴!̶

I̷̩̗̒͑ ̷̡̩̆̓Ã̴͉L̷̠̭̎S̷͚̊O̵̲̍̀ ̵͙̍͒͜D̸̰̈́͘O̷̻͌̽Ņ̸̎’̷̦̋̅T̶͉͐ ̶̪̼́́W̶̲͍̐̔A̶͕̠̓̊N̴͙̆̈́T̵̨̪̾ ̵̻̈̌N̷͚͛͐M̵̻̕H̸̘͋3̶̛̤͔̇ ̴̦̭̍̆T̸̠͒̉ͅÒ̷͚̬͠ ̴̲̥͗̍B̶͙̀E̵̛̘̋ ̷̰̗̽T̷̳̜̏Ŕ̸͙E̶͓̓A̷̻̽͘T̴̲̫̿̋È̵̯͝Ď̸̅ͅ ̷̺̽T̶̢͆H̴̰̕Ě̴̩̈́ ̸͎̇S̴̗̮̏͆A̶̫͌̏M̷̙̈E̷̟̍̓ ̵͈́̔Ẅ̶̢͔A̴̹̤͆̑Y̸͇̺͘ ̸̭̃̄A̷̜͝Ṡ̷̯̬̓ ̷͚͕̒͝T̸̗͋̕R̶̝̾A̶͓̚Ṽ̸̤͊Ǐ̷̗̟S̸͎̠̈́͛ ̴͈̅S̴̘͕̾T̷͘͜͠R̴̬̍̄Ị̸̳̍K̵͕̘̀͂È̸̼̱S̷̤͂͝ ̸̳̃̇Ä̸̞G̷̨͓̏͝Ȃ̴̰͘Ị̷͐N̴̚ͅ ̸̙̒W̷̻̼͐͑Ḩ̶̲̂̎E̶̼͆͂N̸̤̟͗͠ ̵̜̇T̵͂ͅH̶̘̉͒E̵̲̺̔͠ ̸̖͋̄G̷̲̑͊A̵̡̾͊Ṁ̵̡͋E̶͈̽ ̸̰͈̎̀Ḫ̷̤̈́Ā̷̼D̵̺̼͗ ̷̞̽Ḿ̸͎͇I̷͖̽͜͠X̷̤̘̒̚E̷͖͉͋D̴͎͒ ̴̹̳́̑R̵̛̘Ẽ̴͎̽V̶̙̎̈́I̵̧̤̔E̶̞̤͗͠Ẃ̷̨͊ͅS̷̫̕ ̷͚͆A̵̦̙̔̍N̷̡̦̂D̵̥͍̉ ̵̳̩̈́S̶͖̏̚T̴̬̠̒Ǘ̴͔̩̏F̴̡̣́F̴̰̝͒͝ ̸̹̫͂̕Ạ̷̧̈͂N̸̥̐D̸̡̤̃̃ ̴̦̘̇P̴̗̅͒E̶̛̥̠͗Ò̸̩̜P̴͕̋L̸̮̘͠E̸̺̣͝ ̴̫́̂S̴̨̰̊̓E̴͎̖̎͑Ê̶̠͚M̸͔̒È̷̺Ḍ̸͠ ̸̯̬͂̀Ț̷̮́̂Ó̵̱̽ ̶͙̃̄N̴͔̉̌Ǫ̴͂̑T̴̡́ ̷̻́͝Ç̵̙̾̋A̷̙͋͝R̷̟̥͌E̷͖̣̋ ̶̻̌͠A̷̝̞̽B̵͙̒͊Ō̵̭̗Ṷ̶̤͝T̷̥̓ ̵̩̤̐̎I̵̹͎̅Ṭ̸͍̈́,̵̺̳̽̉ ̷̪̄̔É̵̼̜V̶̭̆E̸̫̦̚N̵̜̰̅͠ ̵̼̪͝C̴̼̈́Ȧ̶̧̡̔L̸̟̼̿̄Ḷ̷̫͘I̶͉̟̋Ń̵͈͝G̷̦̦̎͝ ̷͔͗Ì̸̺̀T̷͉͓͂̒ ̷̤͘C̷͔͉̈́Â̶̗͓̂S̴̲͂H̶͛͜G̴͈͕̉R̶͈̕͝A̶͎͂B̸͇́ ̶̹͈͒Í̵͕Ň̴̖̊ ̸̻̪̎O̴̜̾͜R̷͔͌͘Ḓ̸͉̋͛E̶̬̒͘R̷͈͔̽ ̷̠̖̃̽Ț̶̓O̷̭͐ ̸̡̘̍M̸̛͙͐ͅA̶̳͐̓K̴̲̈́͐Ë̸̬̇ ̴̻̔N̷̢̰̄͑M̶͕̳͐H̸̳̎3̶̬̄͜ ̷̢̑͆É̷̬̩̕X̸̙́̓Ï̶̖S̵̘̙̉T̶̗̲̒,̷̹̻̋͝ ̷̧͎́͘I̸͔͂̓ ̴͕̚ͅD̴͍̟͆͝Ŏ̴̞͕N̷̞̫̓̊’̵͓̂T̴̡̰͛ ̶̧͕̐Ẁ̵̢̹͂A̶͕͐ͅN̶̪͆T̷̫̆ ̵̗̣̃T̵̤͈͋̎Ǒ̴̮̆ ̵͓̽S̵̝͓̊E̵͕̒E̴͇͂͒ ̸̟̫̄̚A̶̱̥̕͝Ņ̸̥͑Y̶̧͋́ ̷̠̑̒S̸̯͑I̶̩͇͑Ņ̵̯͑̂G̴̝͖̽̏Ļ̵̓́͜Ë̴̫̗́̕ ̶͔̅P̴̬͊E̴͍̐͛R̶͙͇̓̅Ș̷͝O̸͙̠̽̋N̸͍͒͛ ̷͔̥̀I̶̯̓ ̶̨̺͊C̷̡͛̕A̴̧̰̿R̴͙̍E̷͓͚͋ ̷̲̜̔̉A̵͈͜͝B̵͔͓̾Ǫ̴̟̿̓U̵̗̔Ṱ̵̀,̶̖̖̑̄ ̷̗̤͂̍W̵̭͝H̵͕̬̅̈́Ḛ̷̫̐Ṱ̸̛͇H̴̟̩͂Ḙ̶̒̈R̷̢͛ ̷̤̌͑Ỉ̵̆͜T̴͉͖͂’̴̠͒̈́S̵͚̾ ̸͎͈̿̿Å̶̪̈ ̶̧̦̏̇F̶̦́R̴̟̍I̸̢̻͛È̶͍Ṉ̵̋͠D̷̜̜̍ ̶̫͍̅O̸̰͌̓R̶̛̥͕͛ ̷̮̊̚A̵̰̹̓̏N̵͎͛ ̵̥̐͘Ȁ̴͈̪͝R̸̡̦̓̑T̶͚̕Ȉ̶̤̘S̴͉̣͆̽T̸̩́ ̷̊͑ͅI̶̝̿͘ ̷͚̓L̶̤͇̉I̴̙̋Ḱ̶̟͈̑E̴̱͊͠,̵͔̝͑ ̶̥̦͌͠T̵͔̙̉̽Ǫ̷̟̌ ̸͚̪̓T̶͍̒̈A̷̦̚͝L̵̨̡̃K̴̪̋̂ ̵̳̊S̸̗͔̆͘H̵͙̮̒I̴̫̎T̸̢̤̓̂ ̵̩̠̌À̴̪͕̑B̵̫͌̄O̸͇͆͂͜Ǘ̸̺̙T̸̛̲̅ ̵̳̂M̸̘̻̒́Y̷̿̈́ͅ ̶̪̌̿ͅM̷̦͗͑O̷̦̭̓S̴͙̞͋̂T̷̺̓ ̴̺̞͠P̴̗͋R̷̪͖̍͌E̷̫͝Ç̴̨̚Į̴͈̽O̷̡̒͆U̵̟̅S̵̟͋̾ ̸̞͊G̷͚͗A̶͊͜M̷̘̚E̵͕͚͑ ̵̼͇̋S̶͕͖̒É̷͎Ŗ̶̱̀̕I̷͇͚̎E̷̼͛̑S̶̳̠͗̈́ ̶̳̑À̸ͅN̸̦̟͝D̴͕̠̈ ̴̡͐T̷̛̩̯̃H̶̼̿̄Ė̴̕ͅ ̷̜̍M̸͍̓Ȍ̸͚̊S̵̳̈Ţ̴͝ ̵̘̼͌͝P̷̲̝̐̅R̵̪͓͛E̵͕̓Ç̴̳̌̚I̴̭̕Ö̷͔̀U̶͉͛S̷̙̘͑̕ ̶͕̺̊S̷͈͛Ě̴̖͒Q̴͎̇͝U̵̟̚E̷͔͓͌́L̷̟̀ ̷̡̫̀͋I̸̟͛̈́’̷̢̓͜V̵̧̪̆̅E̴̢͙̍͝ ̵̣̕Ḅ̸̰̋͐Ẽ̴̪̰̚Ē̶̯̺̃N̴̜̎ ̷̤̻̂W̷̡͕̐A̵͖̓̇I̴̥͋̍T̶͓͊Ị̷̛̿N̴̞̫̚G̴̡͕̒̓ ̷̦͘̕F̸̖̓̃O̶̠͆̚R̶̭̅̿ ̴͎͐͆A̵̻̽ ̸̥͓́̄L̷͎̰̚͠O̸̺̗͌Ñ̴͖̖̏G̴̳̍͐ ̸͇̻̽À̶ͅS̴̝̄S̷̛̙ ̸̨̩̇͊T̶̉̕��I̷̯̞̒M̸̠̃̌E̷̫̚ ̴͖̅͂͜I̸̧͚̍N̶͕͍̂͐ ̶͔̒M̷͌͜Y̵̾ͅ ̵̛̬̻́L̸͓̫͒I̸͎̓̿F̸̨̳̍E̵̝̣̋!̴̹̼̿͌!̵̖̝͆̚!̶̦̏!̵͚̏́!̵̞̟̔͊!̷̱͌!̷̞̖̐̌!̴̻͐

¡̶̗͎̭̲̯̑̀̑̋̃͂̆̕͝¡̶͇̹̗̙̖̀̇͂̈́̚̚͝¡̶̜̀́̐͆̉͂̊͜͠͝M̵̢̰̭̪͎̥̩̂͗͋ͅĂ̶̻͗̕ͅĻ̴͉̗̼̤̈́͑D̶͓͎̋Į̶̨̛͔̝̫̳̝̭̮̈̈́̈́͊͑̂Ṱ̵͗͑̋̒͑Ȏ̷̲͌̄S̸͚͙̲̀͋͘͠ͅ!̸̨̖̠̮̩͍͒͝ͅ!̴̧̼̬̩̖͎̉̾̓!̵̨̛̝͓͎̙̺͉̃̔̒̏̑͒͒͜ ̷̛̘͙͈̰̦͎̪̖̍͊͋̈̾Į̸̠̝͙͖̙̗̏̓̓̏̋̂̚'̶̹̩̆M̴̭̠͈͈̐́̌ ̸̺̰̮̔͛́̂̊̂̄̑͘Ģ̵̘͈̳͎͇̰̮͇͗̑͂̉͘̚͠Ở̴̝͖̟͖̾͌͌̐̒̏͘N̶͙̽̇̾͐̐̆̐͗͘͜N̸̙͊͌̀̇͜͜A̶̢̜͉̣̘͖̹̎̃̈́̀́̂͆ͅ ̶̭͖̹̰͔͓̅C̶̛̹̜̉̂͒̀͋͑̔͠Ȕ̴͕̟͇̯̭̭̓͜T̷̡͖̱͇̳̗̺̓͂ ̶̗͕̩̘̀̈̍̆͋́̒̒Y̸̹̣̬̿ͅO̶̢̢͈̣͗̀̽͜͠͝Ų̷̗̺̩̤̹̙̤͎̍͐̚͠R̵̝̱̘̥͙̠͈͐̀͆̄͌̉̐͜ ̷̙̹͆̓̓̑D̵̟̺͇͕͌Į̶̨̡̬̫̞͍͋͑Ć̶̢͕͖̮͘͜͝K̵̰͍͑͑͗͆͑̂̏̚̕S̶̭̭̼̤͔̳͊̀̈́͋ͅ ̷̝͖͇̹̪̲̜͕̀͆̔͑͜Ơ̵̧͔̖̣͌̓͛̃̊̆̕͜F̷̛̫̙̣͖͊͛̾͗͌̈́̃̎F̶̡̤̭̟͔̬͖̼̙̎̈́̿͗̌͋!̵̢̛̪͇̣̦̥̿̌̊͆̔̒!̷̡̤̪͓̒̋̽̿!̸͓̻̱́̽̋̓̌̕ ̵̡̼͓̪̟̓͊́̚͝Ḯ̵̬̫̪̰̯͍̂̉͝ ̶̨̺̟̘̱̤͙̻̆̋͆͒̀̀S̶̪̪͖̩̮̗̬̰̉͒̓͗̚W̸̢̭͔̪̱̺̅̌E̴̯̥̿͛̅̔̋̎̿̕A̸̖̠̝̙͖͗̋̔R̷̼̔̌̀̿̈́̍̽͠ ̸̤̾̄̀̒̀̍̃͝T̴̫͙̦̗̦̤͌̔̈̈́͜ͅƠ̶̗̜̝̽̂̑̑̓͆ ̷͔͉̗̞̭̣̣̔̎̒̌͠͝G̸̢͙̅͐͆̐O̷̹̭̼͙̔̏̈́̔͜͝D̷̤͍̦͝ ̴̨̦͈̟͙̱̘͎̅̿̉̅̂̋̈́̄I̷̬͖̐̒͌̾F̴̜͉̻͈̟͍̈́͑̃ ̷̹͈̦͇͈͗̎Ÿ̶̛̬͇̫̼̝̤̑̎̂̐̕͘͠Ơ̸̢̙̹͉͉͉͙̠̦̂̍͂̄U̷̠̬̥̪̥̞͆̍̒̿̆̾̕͝ͅ ̵̤̀̄̆̍̐͂D̷͕̞̎́̍͘O̶̧̢̨̗̠͓̓̍͌̓͘͜ͅ ̴̢͖̟̗̭̦̱̦͊̏̉͆̊̓̐͜͝T̸̙̳̙̟̪̟̪̈́̽̌͒̅̅͂͘̚ͅH̵̘̤͎͎͊̅I̶̡̧͎̗͓͔͖͐̓̀̑́Ş̶͓̻͓̼͙̘̜̱̾͒̿̊̕ ̸̡͍͔̤̹͒̽̈̽͑̈́T̷̨̢̨͓͈̝͚͇̘̔̑̊̐̂O̴̖̎͆̏̇̐͐̄͘͠ ̶͔̗͉̩͕̒͗̄̒͛̈̎̚M̴͉̠̾̔Ę̵̤̼̲̘̤̜̈́̃͂,̴̬̦̳̲͖̖̲͒̾̏̔̌̉̽͐̚ ̵̡̨̜̤̯̬̌̾͆̿̓̉͝͠͝I̴̺̝̐̽̃̒̀͝'̴͎̂͐̿M̷̡̳̜͚͍̼̬͋ ̴̢̢̫͇̈́̐̓̀̅͝G̷͍̞̔͗͗͑̀́̏͐̾ͅO̶̠̐́́̓̂̊̈́N̶͓͓͔̗̪͍̈̂͑͝N̵̢̛̛̳͎̞̒̔͑Ą̵̒̆ ̴̛̳̝̍̌̈́̌B̴͎̖̤͎̜̟̳͇͋Ḻ̷̒̅̔́́O̷̖͑͆͑̈̈́̆Ĉ̴̨͖̪̪͇̣͎͚̘̀Ķ̷̼̺̝̠̮̥͓̈͐̅͆̎̀̚̕̚ ̸̡̘͇̣̹͇͌͊͛͠Ý̶͕̥̦̜̗͉̉̐̿̆̄̃ͅÖ̸̧̳͈̞̳̤̤̌͐͒̍͘ͅU̴̜̔͛͂͗͐͜R̸̨̫͈̥͍̰̀ ̷̨̩̘͓̇̽͘À̴͙̈̀̈̃ͅS̴̠͈̙̎̽̒̓͂̐͛S̶̡̼͉̟̝͚͖̔́̍̀̄̓̕E̷̳͍̞̊͂͝S̸̛̥̠̻̤͆̐̌̋̉̿͘͝ ̶̣̩̖̘̦̂̆̇̔̀̅̕O̴̦̬̦̟͆̂͂͋̈͂́F̷̡̛̠̝̹͖͉̱̗͌̿̀̎͆͘F̸̹̖͓̖̎̉ ̴̤̹̗̯̊̔̏̀͆͒́̅͝Ǒ̷͖͙̻̭͎͕̌͗͒́̍̚F̶̜̳̭̺̱̖͔̒͋ ̷̢̹̩̝̗̙̎͂̽̐͝M̵̫͓̮̪͕̹̳͗̽̔̈͊̓̎͘͝Y̵̡͙̟̝̓̊ ̴̻̪̗̙̭̊̓͌̈́̀̒͠L̷̢̠̩̳̦̺͚̦̚Ȉ̸̝̲͗͊̃F̴̺̘͂͑͂E̴͓̓͋̑̔̏̎̌̏ ̶̫͚͎̜͔͂͂́Ą̴̨̦͈͌̆͒ͅN̷̺͕̻͙̄̽̋̄D̸̳͎͖̰̎̑́̔́ ̶̦͉̘̖͍̹̏̆͛̍̑̎N̷̞̟͋͂̓̈͊͘͝Ę̶̤̟̠͉͇̓́́̄͝͠V̸̤͋͑͠͝Ě̵̛̬͕͒͆̒̽͑Ŕ̸͕̼͈̠̰̦̼͚̍̐͜ ̵̢̰͙̯͇̝͖̑̆͑̇͘͘͝ͅS̷̡̲̣̖͚͊̌͐̇̚E̵̟̒̇̈͂͂Ĕ̴͓̬̪͖̙͚͚̓̇͒͋̅͋̿ ̷̢̳͚̼͂̆͠Y̵͇͔̎̊͌̀Ơ̵̢̫̟̠͖̣͒̇͋͛ͅǕ̶̡̧͈͚̜̻͍̝ ̵̼̬̤̥͚̟̎͌͜A̷̧̪̰̻͓̗̿́G̸̜̠͓̙̜̬͇̭̒̐͠A̸̹̩̾͗͆̆̒I̷̹̬̗͖̐̽̈́̓̎̓͐͗͘ͅͅŅ̸̧͈̹̭̝͇̝͕͗̏̓͐̽͛͊͐̕,̴̡͓̼̜̖̮̮́͗͒̍̀̇̚ ̷̳̰́̉Ỳ̵̦͓̞̻̩̐͜ͅỚ̷̺̰̻̝̰̤̣͓̾̂͗̽̍Ů̸̢̡͈̟̪̬̜̝̼̈́̃̂̓̄́̚͝'̷̟̳̓͂́̅͐R̷̹͖̆͊̕É̶̛̯͈͆̓͒̄̂̈́͌ ̸̠͍͍͙̪̀̏̅ͅǦ̶̝̯̦͕͙̈́͛͛͝ͅÖ̷͉̗͎́̔̏̓̒ͅṊ̸̡̝̾̂̅̆Ǹ̸̢̗͖̲̋̂̿̽͝A̴̖̮̰͎̪͂̂̈ ̷̨͖̖̹̦̈́̉P̵̞̩͔̱͔̲̦̟̤͂̄̈́́̓À̷̺̽̄͌͋̃͝Y̵̳͓͐́͐͆͘ ̴̼͈̻̲̟͎̩̿̍͗͌́̃̄̇͛Y̵̱̲͐̒̌̕Ơ̶͎̫̦̠̈́̄̒Ử̷̜̙̪͉̪̖̓̒̚ ̵͙̗̫̉̒̓̐͒̂̓̕F̴̱̠͎͝U̷̦̬̘̓̽͐ͅC̵͍̿̈́̂͌͐̅́͋̚Ķ̵̨͂̈͐̔̆̒̔̅́Ǐ̸̧̱̻̪̪͖̈́̾̃̀͘N̴̟̭͉̲̰͉̍̽̊͒̕Ğ̸͓̰̖̎̂ ̴̧͎̥̜̹͒̃̑̌̈́̒̅̊C̷̨͈̪̫̥̲̜̱̿̐͋U̶̲̮͈̪͆͋͐̊́̍͌͐͘N̴̬͈̝͓̆̄̔̍͝T̸̙̖̼͎̻̬̀̌̃͐̔̅͋͗ͅS̴̨̰̋̆͒̆͝,̵̞̭̜̭̹͕̱̃̚͝ ̵̗̬̆̚͠ͅY̵̗͕͌̾͂̂͂̒Ò̶̥̙́̄͝U̸̗͗̂̐̀͐͜͠ͅ'̴̹̱̤̇̃̓̀̏̽̀̽R̵̡̫̙̙̯̗̒̉̾̔̎͗͋̈̇ͅE̷̖̒̒̒͑̔̇ ̴̯͑͜Ǵ̵̨̝̟̙̰͓́̓ͅO̸̡̘̤̗̭͔̬͖͒̎̓͗̊̇͐͘͘Ṉ̸̱̆̔͑̈́͘Ǹ̴̡̩̼̃̀̍̕ͅÄ̴͕̠̂ ̸̧͓̭̟͔̹̖̥̔̂͐̃͆P̶̮͎̫̳͚̃Ą̷̨̪̖̟͋ͅY̵̧̘̟͇̮̥̏͛̓͜ ̴̢̨̜̞̹̭̼́͑̽̀͜͝F̵̛̞̤̺̈́̆̇̋̋̔O̴̜̜͇̽́Ŗ̴̯̟͈̱̳̲͆͑̂͐̈̍͂͝ ̵̞̻̇̌̋͑T̷̝̯̭̖͖̼̏͐̄͆͗̀͠H̶̨̧̛̗̤̮͕͕̙̉́̊̾́̚͜͠E̸̗̪͉̩̤͖͆̅̐̄̎̂̃̾̚͜ ̵̧̪̱̦̪̞̫͔͕̀̋R̸̗̭͓̖͔̻̟̮̈́̀̅̋̀̇̒͜͝Ȩ̸̟͇̮͇͂̿S̵͕̯͕͌̓͂̀͊͒̀̊̍Ţ̶͇̭̖̰̊͛̓̅͒̈́͝ ̷̟̜͍̦͇͍͒͑O̶͎͋̊́̈͌̚͝F̵̨̧̖̯̗̞̯͎̭̌͊̅̾̂̂͌̕̕ ̶̤̹̖̱̦̐̆̓́̉̐̑̕ͅỶ̵̨̮̠̬͚̤̱͎̄̒̚Ơ̶̢̬̦͙͚̝̒̏̈́̚Ŭ̶͕̗̣̎͘͝Ŗ̴̨̱̪̹͉̰͆ ̸̪͓̱̒̀̊͑͑Ļ̵͖͖̉I̵̡̨̭̺̼̺̟͌̏̾̽͌V̴̢̢̛͚̫͌͗͑͜͜ͅẺ̸̮͖̹͇̰̀̐̊S̸̨̲̜̖͍͚̙͉̥͊̀!̶̮̱̻͑!̶̩̦̫̓͑̇̿͛ͅ!̵̹̲̯̦̗̹̗̹̃̈́͛̐͝!̵̼̿͑̃̉̕͜!̷͍̮̝͖̙̫̫̺́̅̐̔!̶̭̻̫̭̗̗̼̏̈̆͒͝!̷̗͚̣͇̑̓̒̂͑̔́̈̄

Ä̶͇̪̘̹̦̰̥̪̞̺́͆̉͂̀̆̈̈̈́̌̽͊̏͠Ą̶̨̧̪̻̗̯̘̭̺́̅͒͊͌̈́̑̈́̓̑̿͆̕͝ͅÄ̵̢͇͍̉́̿̔͋͌͛̾̿̂̚͝͝Ą̸̢̯̬̹͖͉̻͇̘̱̙̖́̓ͅĄ̶̛̯̝̰̜͍̬͇̹̈̀̋͑̅̉̚͝Â̷̢̡͈͍̞̮͖̥͌̊̈́͐͝Ã̶̛̦̠͕A̶̖͎̗̜̳̘̪͈͙̍̍̒̀̑͜ͅA̷͚̰͕̻̯̪̔͆͆͗A̶̘̝̞͖̹̙͖͚̥͎̫͈̓͗͐̒́̈́͌̊̓̇̽̒͌͋͝A̸̭͕͋͋̎̀͂͛̈́̕͠À̵̼̓̑͋̅̍̿̀͗͗͊̂̓̚͝Ạ̶̧̨̧̤͖̠͍̜̱͐̆̽̿̆̇́͗͝͝͠Ä̷̱̼̝͇͐̈̐̈́̏͆̽͌͂̏̈́̀̐̅��A̵̛̛̱̥͐̂̈́̃̐̀́̏͝Ä̷̼͕͉̭͖̣̼̺̺̩͍̯̭́̽̒̎̑̓͘ͅͅA̵̳̰͋̌̀̍́̈͑̿̋̃ͅĄ̷͈͎̮̬̠̻̀͐Ạ̵̢̢̣̻̻̯̰̦͉̮͓̯̔̏́̍͒̋̀͆̓͒̆͝͝͝A̶̝̝̻͉̼̫̹̱͇̓̑́̌̌̐̍̄͝A̴̛͕̫̰̹͈͙͖̪͒͂͆̈́͋̚Ą̸̖̻̹̹̣̹͓̩̩̲̓͆́͋̇͋̃̽͝͝A̸̻͔̲̥̠͐̏̈̅͆̀̍̒̀͌̕Ä̸̮͖̱͐̅̀Ǡ̶̧̡̛͍͉̠͇̗̉̇̔̽̇͛̔̂̉̌̚A̷̛͈͈̫̲͙̾̈́͂ͅA̸̢̢̝͉̼̫̔̆̑͑̔̊̓̎̚͝͝ͅA̵̢̧̛̗̮̮̭̫̹͔̹̮̫͌͂͌̔̔̄͒̌͑̌͘͜͝͝A̷̠̋A̸̡̜̭̫̤̝̩͎̦͑̃͋̏͠ͅA̸̡̨̯̮͕̭̠̺͈̜͖̗͂͒̐̈͆Â̵̟͔̘͂̃̏͌̓͒͋͊̀̇͐̚̕̚A̶̡̲͉̗̲̬̜͈̻̟͚͈̠͉̩̋̌̈́̐͂̍̓͐̉̆̇̃̕͝͝Â̴̳̻͍̯̗͉̣̞̥̙͋͌͂͊͗̏̃̈́͘Á̶̢̧̧̠̞͕̞͎̼̪̻̠̩̫̄́̋̅͆̀̊̇͘͘Ä̸̢̡̬̬̜̻́͊̈́̇̌̂́̋́̅̍͜Ã̴͍̫̲̤͈̐̄͒͋͗̋͑̓̾̓͒̃͘A̴̢̛̗͕͔̝͖͛̅̀̍̔̑Ā̷̧̛̩̘̘̹̭͈͇̣̗͉͙̣̈A̵̮̣͙͊̑͐̈́͠Ą̵̛̠̖͍̥̜̟͇͎͎̅͆͐̄͋̊̌̔̋̾̒̚͝ͅA̶̦̖̗̫̜̼̦̯͎̲̔̀̎̂̅̔̍͑͑̂͗̈́̕͘͝ͅA̴̢̢̞͕̺͍̅̑̈͠��̧̳̹̮̜̥Ḁ̶̛̟̘̉̈́͑̐̔̂̑͝Ḁ̶̥͕͓̩̩͈̘͒͛͑͝͠Ả̸̧̞͉͈̊̀̈́͐͊̐̉̀͒Å̵̳͕͕̼̦̜̱A̵̧͉̖̦̼̺͉̙̗͈͓̹̠̦̅͜A̴̩̓̂̌ͅǍ̶̛̗̬͕̼̩͙͎͐̓́̔̊̾̓̽̾́̚Ǻ̴͖̤̯̈̈́̉͗̊̾̍͘̕͝͠͝Ą̷̩̬͇̹̮̺̇Ȃ̴̳͙͋̓͌̌̆͐̂̄̚͠͝Ǟ̸̻̹̲̜͎́͐̃̓̕͠͝͝Ą̸̬͚̪̳͕͙͓͖͚̹̘͑̀̈̅͛̿͋̃́̋͘͠A̵̹̮͖̣̻̘̗̟̋̐̋̓̉̇̍̈̓́̔̅̉̊͜Ȃ̵̧͙̽͊̌̔̂͝A̶̮̒̔̂A̷̧̛͎̞̗̽̏̀̔͌̎̂̀A̶̤̻͎͌̊̍̒̀̓̅͛̿͂̊̀͘̚͠A̷̳̝̝̓̿͘Ǎ̶̛̖̜͕̖̤̲̣̠̥͚̆͑̏̓͂̌̈́͋̑͗̚͠͠À̶̢̢̙̩̟̖͔̳̎̈́̈̒ͅẠ̶̘̹̦͉̬̰̝̘̫̈̋̽͌͒̑͊̌̍̾͑͝A̷̡̢̧̙̰̮̠̠̫͈̯͗͊̀͗͒͋̄̑́̍͆͒͠Ä̷̧͕̖͖͕̗̲̲͓̞̟̣̲̙̐̽̊͝͠ͅA̶̛̰̝̙̣̤̙̝̗͋̆̓͊̀͘͠͝ͅA̶̢̢̯̰̜͈̭̯̰̯̫̎̔̋̀̌̇̓̽̽Ȁ̶̧̨̨̺̜̤̈̉̎̒̀͠A̵̪̩̼̮̻̜͕͍̓͒̓̉̈́̍̈̂͘͜Ą̴͖͙̜̦̄̏͗ͅA̵̡̙̱̳̭̪̙̰̐̄͋̈́̄̉̋͆̐̽̋̿͜A̷͉͋͑͋̂́̋̆̈́̿͛̂̚Ḁ̴̛̃̏ (Headphone warning)

Ahem, my apologies. :3c

Also, I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO SEE SPOILERS, I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE GAME FOR A LONG TIME AND I DON’T WANT TO SEE ANYTHING UNTIL I ACTUALLY PLAY THE GAME MYSELF IF WE EVER END UP BUYING A SWITCH AND THE GAME! I’m definitely gonna try boycotting the internet, boycott Twitter, boycott YouTube, mute every news site and journalist, etc.

By the way, on the morning of the 29th, when I made myself breakfast, I happened to talk to my mom that I want to buy NMH3 so bad and we agreed that starting on January, we’re gonna start saving for a Switch and the game, didn’t expect to tell her about it sooner but I actually did it! We seriously need to buy a Switch ASAP, and I cannot afford to wait for a long time to buy a Switch AND the game even if it’ll come out in other consoles, I want to play the game right on launch, I’ve been waiting for this game for a seriously long time!

I had considered making this list with NMH3 as my only most anticipated game, but there are some other releases I should look out for (Which of course I’ll probably never play because of money):

Resident Evil Village: The remake period is over (Though it ended in a conflicted way with RE3) and we’re finally back on track with completely new games, especially the sequel to RE7.

Not only there’s a new Resident Evil game but there’s going to be a new CGI series following Leon and Claire on Netflix as well. So we’re getting new game that continues Ethan’s story and whatever the hell is happening to Chris, while we’re also getting a new series that continues Leon and Claire’s story.

Shin Megami Tensei V: It’s been years since we haven’t heard anything about SMTV until this July where we finally got a brand new trailer and teased to be coming this year. My older sister would seriously love to play this, but we don’t have a Switch yet...

MADNESS: Project Nexus (Madness Project Nexus 2): I really hope for sure they’ll release Project Nexus 2 this 2021, the game’s been in development for a very long time and it’s constantly getting delayed, so I don’t think I might have high hopes to see the game being released at this point, but even so, I’m still going to count it as my anticipated release of 2021 (Hopefully).

I played the demo of the game, however, and I had a blast, although it’s certainly a little confusing, but my bigger problem was the framerate I’ve been getting, which the game is a little intensive and I expected the game would perform well on low end computers, but at least I manged to play it.

I’m not very happy with how they changed the title, it went from “Madness Project Nexus 2″ to “MADNESS: Project Nexus,” the new name is absolutely confusing and someone might get mixed up with the original Flash game, or so I thought it would be as the original Flash game was eventually renamed to “Madness: Project Nexus (Classic),” which part of it makes me think it’s a remake of its own but at the same time there’s still new additions, like new enemies and new story campaign that kinda justifies that the new Project Nexus game is still a sequel.

On the topic of Newgrounds games...

Alien Hominid Invasion: With the Castle Crashers remaster, the next Behemoth remaster is the classic Alien Hominid. Depending on how much the game will cost on Steam, I will for sure buy and play it immediately. I think Newgrounds games are best played on PC.

Before you experience the Alien Hominid remaster, you should check out the original version available in Ruffle’s demo page, which Ruffle is a new open source replacement for Adobe Flash. (Be warned that the game’s one-hit death might frustrate you, it sure does to me and I really hope that’s not a thing in the remaster, if not, then I guess that’s Alien Hominid’s intended nature, although it’s probably what every side-scrolling shooter is)

Reverse Collapse: Code Name Bakery: Girls’ Frontline may not be my top gacha games I religiously play like I wanted, and then there’s a plethora of Girls’ Frontline games coming out sooner, some of them are spin-offs and then there’s Girls’ Frontline 2: Exilium, which I’m not interested in the least, to be honest, but there is one game that is now being re-released and localized for global audiences, and even getting retconned to be more connected towards Girls’ Frontline, this is a game that came out years before Girls’ Frontline and for a long time it was widely believed this game was a sequel to Girls’ Frontline, taking place over 30 YEARS after GFL and now it is indeed confirmed! I’m talking about Code Name Bakery, or originally called as Codename: Bakery Girl.

Even if I’m not a huge avid player of Girls’ Frontline like I wanted to since I’ve always been a gun aficionado and I almost don’t know much about what’s going on in the story (But there’s my Philipino friend, Ten, to tell me), I certainly wouldn’t mind to play Code Name Bakery.

Back 4 Blood: Everyone’s pretty much referring this game as Left 4 Dead 3 because it was created by the creators of the first L4D (While L4D2 was all developed and published by Valve in-house). I kid you not, when I saw the reveal trailer in this The Game Awards, I was definitely like “I’m getting some Left 4 Dead vibes” maybe because of the characters and the special zombies, and then the title “Back 4 Blood” was shown and I was like “Is this like a spiritual successor or something?” but now everyone’s calling it Left 4 Dead 3, so I’ll have to stick with it.

And to be honest, I’m not really sure if I’m really interested on this one. Even if this is a new Left 4 Dead game from the creators of the original game, now known as Turtle Rock Studios, there’s just something about the game’s identity that doesn’t sit right with me. And then looking at the pre-alpha gameplay, it just looks like any other generic first person zombie survival game with the modern graphics and stuff, the characters and the zombies don’t look anything brightful and special like the first two L4D games, I wouldn’t call the aesthetic bland, but everything about it just doesn’t do anything to me, at least it’s not a brand new L4D by name or even by Valve, which this is published by Warner Bros Games instead and I’m not really sure about them as publishers or their products.

As much as I’d like to get interested in this game from the creators of the first game and people call it Left 4 Dead 3, I’m better off with the first two games. Oh, even Left 4 Dead 2 even got updated a few months ago. Despite my skepticism, I will continue watching Let’s Players’ videos and see if it’ll change my mind.

Fate/Extra Record: This is probably gonna be a 2022 release, but I’ll be damned if it would actually come out later this 2021, so I’m still gonna mention it here anyways.

Tookyo Games releases: This one’s a little tricky because we all know Tookyo Games has a plethora of projects coming out, but what we don’t know for sure is when some of these will come out, maybe the closest one could be Tribe Nine, but I’m more curious about the other projects and hopefully they’ll come out this year.

And finally...

Tsukihime remake: HOLY SHIT! I can’t believe it’s finally happening after all these years!

Um... I always thought that whenever we see stuff about the Tsukihime remake, I would immediately play the original game. BUT I NEVER EXPECTED THEY WOULD ACTUALLY ANNOUNCE IT FOR THIS SUMMER!

Once I'm done with some things, I'm definitely gonna go play the original!

Top 6 best movies of the Year

At first I listed all the following films in a nearly chronological order from what I remember when have seen these films throughout the entire year, but I decided that maybe I should make this list as a ranked list, even if some of the films don’t necessarily impressed me so much in the least, if it weren’t for COVID-19, Venom: Let There Be Carnage would have been my #1, and Morbius would have been my #2. Anyways, let’s go:

6.- The New Mutants: I wasn’t able to watch New Mutants in the cinema the day it was released like I wanted, but some time later I was able to watch the film and it was pretty interesting, I liked it.

5.- Birds of Prey: Never knew I needed a full R rated DCEU movie (Though it’s not the first one. The first one is the R rated cut of Batman v Superman but I don’t know how it’s different from the theatrical cut), there’s still some ties but I feel like this kinda feels more like a standalone film, but it was quite fun. This kind of serves as a good road to The Suicide Squad.

4.- My Hero Academia: Heroes Rising: I mentioned this a couple of times because this is probably the only thing I can say about the film, but this is actually the last film I saw before the pandemic broke out.

Though one thing I have to say about the My Hero Academia movies is that I wish the manga can actually make references to the films so it would acknowledge they exist because sometimes I can’t thoroughly figure out the timeline or flat out call them non-canon (Which they aren’t), and the villains are immediately forgettable. Although given what’s currently happening in the manga (and it’s completely nuts), I doubt the manga would ever reference the films.

3.- Parasite: This was a 2019 release (I think), but after the Oscars this year, it was ran in my theaters so I had to watch it before I watched Sonic the Hedgehog next. After seeing the film, I find it pretty interesting, not to mention the ending shocked me, but in all honesty, I wasn’t like completely amazed as I was with Joker, even my family thinks that they prefer Joker over Parasite, that’s not to say it didn’t deserve to win Best Picture in the Oscars, but Parasite as a film doesn’t mean anything special to me.

2.- Wonder Woman 1984: I wasn’t looking forward to see the film in my birthday because I didn’t want anything other than Venom 2 since it got delayed because of COVID, but later it got delayed to Christmas and I was glad.

December came, the film comes out a week earlier in Mexico than in US and HBO Max, I saw the film and it was actually better than I expected, I think I like it better than the first film. Now that I think about it, maybe I wished Wonder Woman 1984 wasn’t delayed because my birthday was so disappointing and boring without anything special to see. Although even if I liked WW1984 so much, I don’t think it probably would have been the best birthday film I would have seen if it didn’t get delayed, but it was still worth it.

There’s one particular thing about the film I liked very much, but since the film recently came out, it’s too soon for me to put spoilers, but I’ll redact them in ROT13, you may or may not want to decode this, it’s your choice:

[V ybir jung gurl qvq gb gur Jbaqre Jbzna punenpgre, gurl jrag shyy pynffvp Jbaqre Jbzna jvgu gur vaivfvoyr wrg naq sylvat, juvpu vf fbzrguvat V unira'g frra irel bsgra va ure zbqrea vapneangvbaf nf bs yngr.]

But then there’s the moment when I start getting the feeling of wanting to pee so bad, and the worst part is it started around halfway or the quarter of the film. Then in the film’s climax, my bladder was dying so bad that... Believe it or not, I had to empty my soda cup and actually pee on it! I DIDN’T HAVE ANY OTHER CHOICE, OKAY?! Geez, I really should limit myself how much soda should I drink, but I even took a pee in my home before leaving! What an awful way to end my older sister and I’s cinema experience of the year, having our bladders nearly exploding.

When the credits started rolling, I was slowly standing up, I was putting my belt on and somehow I happened to see a mid-credits scene I never knew it would have, although it’s nothing hugely worldbuilding significant, but [Vg'f whfg n fznyy sha fprar jvgu Ylaqn Pnegre nf Nfgrevn.]

At this point the DCEU is definitely going to have post-credits scenes, maybe I should check the news beforehand whether the upcoming movies have post-credits scenes or not, I always thought the DCEU wouldn’t have post-credits scenes, but since Suicide Squad, Justice League and even recently Aquaman, it should be time that I should sit all the way to the credits, maybe just any other movie in general too.

1.- Sonic the Hedgehog: I had some fun watching this film and I think I actually liked it better than Detective Pikachu in terms of pacing. Can you imagine watching this film with the awful old Sonic design from the very first trailer? I don’t think I would have liked this film with the old Sonic design the same way as I do now. I’m glad that a sequel is even happening now.

Honorable mention

Promare: This was a 2019 release and I’ve been waiting for so long for it to come out in my theaters, Konnichiwa Festival disappointed me with the 2020 line-up and all of it was history for early in the year before the pandemic.

When the pandemic has broke out, I randomly happened to watch Promare in my house, torrented from the Blu-Ray rip, and BOY, I WAS SO AMAZED WITH THE FILM, SERIOUSLY! I think it was for the best seeing Promare at home in case the cinema might have had full of Mexican weebs screaming their asses off.

Around September, my dream of Promare coming out to my cinema has finally come true! The day my family and I went to see The New Mutants, we have planned to see Promare right after we finished watching The New Mutants, although we didn’t get to see TNM because there were some technical issues with the screenings in the cinema for some reason.

So we waited over 3 hours to see Promare, my older sister and I got into the cinema to see the film, and the experience... Was rather lukewarm.

In one hand, my older sister and I were the ONLY ones seeing Promare late that night, but on the other hand, the way the film was screened was an absolute mess. I don’t know what to blame, the aspect ratio or the subtitles because the subtitles were almost non-existent, it was as if we were seeing a raw anime film in Japan. It was so bad that my older sister did NOT understand what even happened in the story. Given that I had seen the film, I tried my best to try to explain her what was Gray planning with the Burnish but my brain pooped out and couldn’t continue. Later I told her to look for spoilery summaries or something and she says she may have somewhat gotten the context of the film, but it doesn’t feel right to me. I’m not sure if she has looked up on spoiler summaries now.

Things get worse when I realized seeing The New Mutants and Promare in the same day could have been the second time I could have seen two films in the cinema in the same day since February with Parasite and Sonic The Hedgehog.

Another weird thing I haven’t thought a lot is that this wasn’t actually distributed by Konnichiwa Festival like most other films, this was actually distributed by none other than Cinépolis themselves with the +QUE CINE thing, and that makes me lead to believe that either the screenings from the cinema or Cinepolis themselves butchered really badly the subtitles.

The cinema experience may have been an absolute disappointment, but it was no doubt a very good experience seeing the film upclose in the cinema with the gorgeous animations and visuals, and my older sister and I being literally the only ones who have seen the film, it makes a new record of seeing a film with my family all alone since 2017 with Kong: Skull Island with me, my mom and a random dude.

Most anticipated movies of 2021

This next list is going to be different, as I’m going to count a couple of movies per entry, more like categories for different kinds of franchises that I’m most excited to see, so here goes.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage, Spider-Man 3 and Morbius: Since 2018, this is the second best time to be a Spider-Man fan! (However, we won’t see Spider-Verse 2 until 2022) My #1 most anticipated film of 2020 was of course Venom: Let There be Carnage, I seriously wanted to see it so bad but because of COVID, the film got delayed until like June or July. I was seriously pissed as the film was gonna be released on October 2nd which that could have been my one chance to see a Venom film IN MY BIRTHDAY, ONE FUCKING CHANCE, and Sony wasted it! Given that it was October, it could have been a good time to have the film released but seems like the COVID situation wasn't getting any better.

There's also Morbius which I'm genuinely curious as to how they're actually building up the Sony Venomverse with the MCU since the end of the trailer features Michael Keaton's Adriam Toomes from Spider-Man: Homecoming. Yeah, so far this sounds really complicated, but I'm sure it'll all be clear once we see the film.

And lastly there's Spider-Man 3 (Working title) which is probably the hypest out of the three films on this list. For a while, the news I've seen were about the posiblity of Kraven the Hunter being the film's villain, and there wasn't anything else after that, there wasn't much special things for the film and I always saw it as a follow up to Far From Home which I would still see. Then there were news of Doctor Strange being the next MCU hero to be featured in a Spider-Man film since Iron Man in Homecoming and Nick Fury in Far From Home (who turned out to be Talos the Skrull from Captain Marvel throughout most of the movie), this was certainly interesting, but as time went on... Things started to get wild. There were reports of Jamie Foxx returning to Spider-Man 3 as Electro, possibly the very same version from The Amazing Spider-Man 2 or just an MCU version of Electro, who knows but the fact that they're casting Jamie Foxx since TASM2 was quite interesting, but wait, that's not the craziest part, later I started to see news of Alfred Molina cast as the Doctor Octopus AGAIN, and for the final blow... Rumors of Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield possibly returning into Spider-Man 3 and a leaked video from an official Latin American Sony channel that said "Who's your favorite Spider-Man? You might see all Spider-Men at once, anything is possible" or something like that...

OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! THEY'RE DOING LIVE-ACTION SPIDER-VERSE?! HOLY SHIT, DON'T DO ME LIKE THIS! I'M NOT PREPARED!

The rumors about Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield returning for Spider-Man 3 as their Spider-Men might be a hoax and it's all rumors, sure, but it might not even be a hoax at all! For more solid proof that this could potentially be a live-action Spider-Verse film, in the Disney investors meeting, they confirmed that Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (Which happens to be directed by Sam Raimi of all people, and it's coming in 2022) CONFIRMED that actually ties to Wandavision and... "THE NEXT SPIDER-MAN FILM." So there you go! That pretty much confirms it now that they might actually be doing live-action Spider-Verse now! This is actually going to be the BEST live-action Spider-Man film ever!

With all these Spider-Man 3 live-action Spider-Verse news, I completely forgot about the news that Kraven was gonna be in the film, I really hope they might still include him in some way in the film as Tom Holland Spider-Man's villain, and it isn't explicitly confirmed that Jamie Foxx's Electro and Alfred Molina's Doc Ock are either the same versions as their original versions or completely new MCU versions of the characters, who knows.

This is lowkey confirmed with the Disney investors meeting that the Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness ties to the next Spider-Man film, but what if all the live-action Spider-Verse stuff may not end up being true? In case if it's not true and it'll be just like Far From Home where it can continue Spider-Man's story from where the post-credits left off, I would still see Spider-Man 3 anyway, I'm always down for whatever MCU or Spider-Man film may end up be.

I know I wanted to see Venom: Let There be Carnage so bad, especially for my 21st birthday which I didn't get anything to watch and my birthday end up being a disappointment, but the problem is, we still haven't seen a proper trailer or anything, even for a film that was supposed to come out in October before it was delayed because of COVID! So far they only released a teaser trailer of the title and the new release window, and I really hope early this year, we can expect some trailers anytime soon, although the first Spider-Man film coming out this 2021 is Morbius.

So yeah, since 2018, 2021 is going to be the second best year to be a Spider-Man fan!

Black Widow, Eternals and Shang-Chi: First let’s talk about Black Widow because I’m the most scared of how the film is gonna be received given that when the concept art was shown at Comic Con and then the first trailer was released, people absolutely hate Taskmaster’s design, I mean, sure, he may not look comic accurate but aspects of it still kinda look like the comics and HE LOOKS BADASS! WHAT’S WRONG WITH EVERYONE?! THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH TASKMASTER’S DESIGN! Another thing is that I’m feeling that Black Widow may become Captain Marvel 2.0 where people hate the film for no reason, for a while there was some hate around the film because of some shit with Brie Larson and whatever, but most of the hate I’ve seen all goes towards the film quality, I don’t really see anything wrong with the film when I saw it, it’s rather decent, but with that said, I couldn’t stop thinking for the entire movie that there’s nothing wrong with this, etc.

I don't think even my older sister would wanna see Black Widow either as she never even cared about the character in Avengers: Endgame and she liked a tweet where someone said "Marvel making everything military sucks so much" which NO, IT FUCKING DOESN'T! I LOVE MILITARY AESTHETICS AND SHIT, YOU JUST HAVE SHIT TASTE, MY GUY!

The next films coming out are The Eternals and Shiang-Chi, although there's not much to talk about them since we haven't seen any trailers or anything so far, but I'm definitely gonna watch them.

I'm of course gonna be watching every single MCU-related thing, whether it's the movies or the Disney+ shows, I will follow everything! And no, I don't do this out of obligation (Someone in the RPG Site Discord server told me that and I'm forever pissed about it), it's called doing things religiously!

And speaking of the Disney+ shows...

BONUS: Wandavision, The Falcon & Winter Soldier, Loki, What If?: This is kind of a miscellaneous list as these are actually series in a movies list, that’s weird but deal with it. Say what you want about Disney+, and there’s quite a lot of MCU Disney+ shows coming I’m losing track which ones are coming out in 2021, but I think these four are what are coming this year.

Probably the series I’m most excited to see is Falcon & Winter Soldier, I have no idea what is even going on with Wandavision and Loki, as for Wandavision, since that one’s coming out in two weeks, I have to watch it as a lead up to Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness in 2022, as for Loki, I don’t realy understand it in the least so far. What If, there’s not much to talk about, it’s literally just “What If” with alternate versions of the films’ events, although I do admire the animation, it’s not Spider-Verse tier but it looks very nice.

I got a mail from PayPal offering me 250 pesos to subscribe to Disney+, I don’t think there may be an expiration date somewhere in the mail so I really hope the offer would still last, but until Wandavision comes out, I’m definitely willing to pay for Disney+.

Several Warner Bros. releases: Around early December, it was announced that all of the upcoming Warner Bros films of 2021 will be released on theaters AND HBO Max at the same time! That’s insane! It sounds really interesting, although I’m not sure if I would watch all the films in HBO Max, I would still love to go to the movie theater, depending on how much HBO Max costs and when is it coming out in Mexico. Also, that’s not to say that I would like to see them ALL, no no, I will only see the films that I’m interested the most:

Mortal Kombat: I actually loved the original Mortal Kombat films when I was a kid, although I’ve actually seen the second one and I still have the DVD which I bought when MK9 was released, although even that scene with CGI dragon Liu Kang cringed the shit out of me when I was a kid. For a while I heard this would be coming out in January 15th 2021 but it’s now coming to April, which is for the best because I haven’t seen any trailers or anything from it so far.

Tom & Jerry: I’m not sure if i would like to watch this, I’m feeling that maybe I would like to do so, so far this is kind of a bizarre concept but what I greatly admire is how Tom and Jerry are animated, it makes me think of Space Jam.

Godzilla vs. Kong: I started following the Monsterverse since Kong: Skull Island and before I’ve seen Godzilla: King of the Monsters in the cinema, I saw the first film, I like this series so far, and I can’t wait to see this one.

Space Jam: A New Legacy: I’m surprised how secretive the news and the marketing has been, every time I’ve seen this trending on Twitter, I never see these big movie news sites like The Hollywood Reporter, Deadline, not even IGN were reporting about a legit Space Jam 2 teaser trailer at some point, or the film in general as of late, for that matter.

The Suicide Squad: Just my usual tradition of watching whatever DC films, whether they’re DCEU or not, and this appears to be DCEU, or at least having the same actors playing certain characters. If there’s one thing I would complain about this, is the title, just “The Suicide Squad” when the first Suicide Squad film which is titled “Suicide Squad” is really stupid.

Dune: I just need something to watch on cinemas in my birthday, this year was a disappointment since Venom: Let There Be Carnage was delayed, if it weren’t for COVID-19, I would have gotten a great birthday film that might have even surpassed Joker.

The Matrix 4: This one I’m genuinely curious to see and know what the hell is even going to happen in the film considering how the original trilogy ended. And for a while before COVID broke out, it was originally gonna be released with John Wick Chapter 4 at the same time, it would have been insane to have double Keanu Reeves films being released simultaneously and I have to choose one over the other, but I’m glad both films got delayed and they’re not being released simultaneously anymore.

Justice League Snyder Cut: This one’s kinda miscellaneous since this entire list is basically the recently announced films that are coming to the cinema and HBO Max at the same time, and I actually kept forgetting about this one and this one’s treated more as a series. We’ve come a long way since the Release the Snyder Cut campaign happened for years, and by a miracle, it’s finally happening. This film, or rather series, feels more like a remake of the Justice League film with some of the archived footage from the Snyder Cut before Zack Snyder left the project from his daughter’s passing, but apparently new scenes are being filmed. I really hope this saves the DCEU because as of late I can’t tell if the films are actually connected anymore (With the exceptions of Joker, The Batman, etc).

Mission Impossible 7: Since Fallout, I think I’m going to start following the Mission Impossible series from now on. Note that there’s Mission Impossible 8 coming out in 2022 as well.

That's all I have to discuss about my best and worst of 2020 and my most anticipated 2021 releases, boy, I seriously wrote a lot for everything and that's probably what took the most of my time to write this post (Aside from my laziness), but I really hope you liked my best and worst of 2020 and my most anticipated releases of 2021. And moving on...

Now it’s time for the one category that it’s always all talk and never deliver, I may contradict what the following headline will be, but it's pretty much what's going to be true...

No more resolutions

Yeah, I can't even bother writing these same tiring resolutions I'm not gonna even fulfill over and over. It's an endless cycle.

Drawing every day.

Behaving better.

Working out.

Writing my novel.

Give me a break. Is there seriously a point in telling you all these resolutions that I supposedly want to do but I never end up doing anything anyways? And if I were to actually do these resolutions, I wouldn’t tell you about it. (I read a study with a headline “If you want to be successful, don’t tell others about it” or something like that, which I’m still telling you about these resolutions I want to do and end up failing anyways)

Let me break things down in parts about my expected future:

Behavior:

In terms of doing homeworks with my mom: Yesterday on the 30th, she just told me there's already homework but it's for January 11th and we'll do it on the 4th, it's not even 2021 and we're already off to a great start, although it's something that my mom has to read from, so I hope it'll be fine for now, but for future homeworks, I don't have the highest hopes for it because I'm easily trigger happy in these homeworks, there's seriously a lot wrong between all of us in how we do these homeworks, we make our lives miserable if it weren't for my older sister's stupid forced pension that she has to study no matter what, and then like my mom's pension, my pension or whatever there is that we get money, either they don't give us enough money or my mom always end up spending most of the money in groceries that would last for a week and other things, this is bullshit!

In terms of people's opinions: I seriously wish I could not give a shit about what literally everyone says about certain things, not even my family, but that shit is just everywhere and I really can't help but make at least one comment that something's not bad or whatever, I said this countless times but I'm very trigger happy.

In terms of artists: I'm going to continue be a douchebag and criticize their art and themselves behind their backs in my private Discord server, whether in public channels or privately if shit gets insanely serious.

Working out:

I'd seriously love to start working out immediately right now, but given how extremely cold as shit my country is, it just motivates me a lot less to start working out! Besides, my mom hasn't even bought the mat like we talked about for ages, she always forgets about it and I'm always waiting for her to deliver, but even if I would like to start working out, I would still have to eat fats instead of actually going in a diet, can't go back to the gym because of COVID, and most of all, I'm so fucking lazy. I always tend to do one workout for one day and that's it, I never do it daily. This and what I'm going to talk about above are something I can't develop a daily routine of!

My drawing skills and my future of my project:

I now have a Wacom Intuos that is bundled with 3 programs, but I only installed Clip Studio Paint because that's what I care the most, the other programs are trials and they're worthless as shit, I did make at least two pictures to mess around but as of late I've barely been touching it because I'm still having a hard time figuring out what to do with the brushes and stuff and I'm so obsessed in having the brushes default, default brushes with default settings, etc. I'm just not too comfortable tweaking the brushes to my preference and changing the sizes is gonna be extremely hard depending on what canvas size for my pictures would be and having to tweak the brush sizes for the canvas is so inconsistent!

As for the future of my project, I really want to continue bringing my project to life, and now that I have a Wacom Intuos, if I really put myself to try to sketch every day and everything in order to improve my art style, hopefully drastically, I can actually try to make my project in a much better format, especially comics, I would love to return to draw comics because, I said this numerous times, I used to draw comics mindlessly when I was a kid, but two years later, I somehow got a slump and just like that, I stopped drawing comics for good, but now if I try to figure out my story right, I may actually bring my project as comics, literature can suck my dick! And because I'm an artist, it's best to make art for my project all by myself since literally nobody I asked wants to work with me!

I seriously had no idea how to write, never even bothered to read books and everything else to even care about the basics and essential of writing, I always thought it would have been an easier way to bring my story to life and make adaptations of them as soon as possible. I seriously had no idea what kind of story should my project be, I was extremely unconfident about it and... I don't want to say this but I seriously hated what I was doing with my novel, my writing was obviously shit and it gave me nothing but headaches, I gave up. Although it's not like I completely cancelled the project and lost interest in it, it will always live on... inside my head with constant brainstorming and headcanons.

I had a plan to deliver my project and make it successful immediately overnight and try to make the series go big ASAP in 10 YEARS, but now after giving up writing the novel, I completely wasted 1 year, so now I have 9 years to do this shit. The reason why I want to rush now is because I want my franchise to exist, I want to work with my favorite actors and other creators before some of them retire or pass away, and I SERIOUSLY cannot let this opportunity and dream go to waste!

Even though I have Clip Studio Paint now and I would love to make comics, my copy of Clip Studio Paint that was bundled in my Wacom Intuos is Pro, the features are very limited, so there's not much I can do about that. My other options in trying to bring my story to life are either making visual novels or RPG Maker games, those sound like very valid choices, but there are still some limits. If I were to make VNs, I would have to learn how to use Renpy, my art has to be good and I have to hire some people to do some extra things like I don't know, backgrounds and even the background music and sound effects which I can't even afford to do all that. Then there's RPG Maker, I bought RPG Maker MV when it was at a crazy good discount in the Steam Summer Sale but I opened it for a few minutes and I have no idea what to do, I try to watch numerous tutorials on how to use it but I still don't understand, another thing that I don't like about RPG Maker is that some programming is still needed somewhere, I have no fucking clue about programming, and RPG Maker always advertises itself as a somewhat easy engine, talk about false advertising. Besides, RPG Maker games aren’t as relevant where they become overnight hits and turn into franchises as they used to be anymore, so it really doesn’t do me any favors. So I guess my only choice is try to continue creative writing in some form, I have a better way in how to do things without the old fashion boring ass way, I would have to indicate what character says what and everything has to be in present tense, kinda like the visual novel elements in some games, and I won't give a shit about what anyone says about my writing format, there's no other way.

Even though I haven't really abandoned the project out of my life and will always continue brainstorming headcanons and different stuff, I hate to say this, but I think my project has grown to have an identity crisis. Everything I brainstorm are pretty much copying from literally everything I see, like movie scenes or even the entire movies, especially the MCU movies with wanting to make my own version of Avengers: Endgame mixed with Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Another weird thing about my brain is that, for years, I've always had a mood on wanting to make a Kingdom Hearts-like series with my project and some other franchises, and believe it or not, my crossover candidates were Persona and Danganronpa. No, this wasn't intended to be for fanfiction purposes, I wanted to legitimately make them into a reality! One day I eventually dropped the Persona and Danganronpa crossover idea with my project and opted towards literally making Americanized discount rip-off characters to be copyright-free and to fit in my story (Although eventually they have evolved into their own characters). Everything seemed well enough but my brain is coming back to this fantasy of making a Kingdom Hearts series but with Arknights. There's a lot to discuss about that but I don't want to get into further details.

So yeah, pretty much my originality only resides within the characters and their designs, everything else like the stories and some elements, rather of calling them "inspiration," it's more like heavily borrowing or straight-up copying, so I have no idea what to do with my series at this point. Not to mention that I constantly brainstorm all these things which they're all for stuff that comes LONG after the first installment of my project which I'll never release, and it makes me not wanting to go back into that. Another criticism my older sister gave me about my project is that I tend to create a lot of characters only to show off their designs and never give them any purpose, and I guess it shows.

I said this before but I’ll say it again:

What I love about my project is that I always use my imagination, everything just feels satisfying when I can think of every scenario possible and even make drawings because pictures are worth a thousand words. Whate I hate about my project is the act of doing it, showing it off, explain to some people if you're prepared, something like that.

Maybe my project shouldn't exist. In fact, it already exists, how I want the video game and other adaptations, everything exists, inside my head. They have and will always be in my head, and there's a lot more stories and characters to come. I have seen everything and they're exactly like I always wanted, I'm completely satisfied. There's no need for my project to really exist, only for me to become poor, a total nobody, and even if it were a best seller, it might get adapted in the wrong hands, but in the end, it doesn't matter because I always know I won't even succeed, it won't be an instant crazy hit and it will never be as time passes.

(That two paragraphs above is pretty much my copypasta to talk about my project)

Another thing I'm questioning in my life right now is...

My future as a Custom Maid Twitter account:

Lately I don't really make a lot of Custom Maid screenshots on my own, sometimes I do but they're mostly collabs, and I would occasionally tell people to make collab pictures with our OCs together, sometimes it does happen but the frequency of these collab screenshots happening have decreased drastically, not to mention that there are some that weren't interested, which kinda sucks

To be honest, I really haven't been motivated on making Custom Maid screenshots at all. The game runs so slow given that I have a lot of the game's content and mods which most of them I barely use, and I have no idea what screenshots to make, even if I were to look at prompts, not to mention I created some characters which I barely ever used and I almost never get immediate attention when I post my screenshots. I seriously want to retire from doing Custom Maid because of what I just said with my motivation and stuff, and then there's the whole drama with maidin which I mentioned a long scroll up ago which really affected me so much. I even had prepared some legacy files compiling my presets and my screenshots.

Even if I say numerous times that I want to retire or I'm done, I'm still considering that maybe I shouldn't quit, but even if I'm not retired, I still have no plans or even interest to make screenshots again, so I'll have to talk to some of my JP mutuals and Ten about it. After what I did to maidin, I feel like I'm no longer want to be part of the Custom Maid community and I don't want to be a burden on it. Hinosuna who was the one person I followed the most hasn't made screenshots at all as of late for 6 months and I doubt he will ever return, let alone talking to the guy ever again, and there's another person who blocked me for no reason after telling him about my birthday a day later which I did tell him I was from Mexico, talk about being xenophobic.

So there you go, my not-so category talking about my resolutions, I seriously didn't want to talk about this since I'm not even gonna do shit about the things that I want anyway, but I did it. Still, keep in mind that I'm probably not gonna be able to do any of these because of my sheer laziness and gaming addiction. Please let me know what to do with all this and hopefully it can change my mind.

Conclusion

Phew! This was an insanely long ride! I never expected I would write so much shit, and if you managed to read literally everything, congratulations, you're a madman. This is definitely the longest post I've ever written in my life!

Pretty much everything I've written here have been made with a lot of thought and effort, most of the stuff I wrote on this post for a while was my Best and Worst of the Year and Anticipated Releases category, although most of the time I was kinda lazy and only wrote little by little with everything else, and hours prior to the publishing of this post, I kinda rushed on the very end of the post, but I think I did a pretty good job into everything I made. And no, I won't even bother making a TL;DR about it.

Although to make things short, everything was an absolute mess, but my personal problems are always the worst of my life which makes every year automatically bad for my health, but on the bright side, 2021 is looking to be the very best year with the best releases ever, so I'm really looking forward to all of that!

I did mention my private server, I wouldn't like to disclose anything about it, but as of late, it has become more like a home to me, I don't check Twitter as much like I used to and this server is why I rarely go to any other Discord servers ever. Always being on my Discord server and keeping an eye on it be like:

(I know I said I wouldn't like to invite anyone into my private server ever again, and I also choose to not make my server public, but if there's a mutual that I REMOTELY like, I can DM you the invite link, if you're someone I find meh or I don't like, you can fuck off)

As for my resolutions, and most importantly on what to do with my drawing skills and project, I guess we'll have to see if I can deliver or not.

Anyways, this was a really tough year but thanks for continuing to support me throughout this entire year, for better and for worse. Hopefully things will get better this 2021 and we can be free again.

Happy New Year!

My Carrd - I did some improvements as well!

Every image featured in this post in high resolution - Because if you’re reading this post from the link I send instead of the Tumblr homepage (which I don’t think anyone even uses Tumblr anymore), my theme makes the images look incredibly small and as much as I like this theme, this is something I definitely hate. (I’ve been redoing this album numerous times by fixing something and adding at least one new image)

[drabblemeister]

a Study in Red {ch2}

Read me on Ao3! Look at the art collabed with this story! Author: Ladelle Comments: Holy bananas, I was not expecting to have so many people enjoy this story. Thank you so much for the notes and feedback on Chapter 1, and for all of the amazing comments left on Ao3.  I still haven’t decided on a posting schedule; I’m working on the last chapters now and I need to make sure I can come back and add a few details here and there if I need to, for flow. Tumblr Chapters: One | Two Chapter 2:

The next two days were indistinct blurs.

Tim half-remembered the corporate brunch, from which Bruce had made him promise to take leftovers home. He’d nearly missed the subway stop for college and had stumbled in late to an afternoon lab; he hadn’t trusted himself to do anything that took too much precision, and his partners had gladly agreed to mix chemicals in his stead.

Dinner consisted of coffee and the college café’s last bagel, and Dick had dropped by to give Tim a lift to Wayne Manor, where a Family Meeting™ told them to stop running into each other on patrol; and, in a direct attack to the dark circles under Tim’s eyes and his very loud and grousing stomach, Damian had dropped a box of protein bars into his lap.

“Charitable giving,” he’d said with a scoff.

Tim had countered with, “One day you’ll be old enough to file it on a tax return.”

Afterwards, Dick had given him a ride home and in a very serious, very Nightwing tone had told him, “No patrol tonight, got it?”

Tim itched at the idea that he’d been given an order and rebelled by spending four hours catching up on school assignments. Like most nights he dedicated to homework, he ended up asleep at his coffee table, the alarm on his phone eventually beeping him into a panic-stricken awareness; and, as usual, he awoke with a sheet of loose-leaf paper clinging to his cheek.

Classes the next day were a blur, and all Tim really noticed was that he hadn’t heard from Jason. Partly, he wondered if Jason had decided to wing the exam on his own, and Tim couldn’t help but feel disappointed; it was odd, but Jason was a mystery to him, and Tim, more than anything, enjoyed puzzles.

For the second night in a row, he received a message telling him to stay home; he’d stumbled through a two hour intern tour at Wayne Manor with a jittery sense of excitement that only compounded espresso shots could inspire, and he supposed that someone somewhere in the building had passed the message upward.

On some levels, he supposed it made sense that Timothy Drake-Wayne, heir to a corporate empire, shouldn’t look like the living dead – but since when did anyone in college look like they were thriving?

Since he had plenty to work on, Tim simply formed a line of energy drinks and worked his way through, staying wide-eyed through the midnight hours reading chapter after chapter about the repercussions of economic downturn. The time finally arrived when his eyes simply couldn’t stay open; he barely managed to push himself up from the table and stumble into his bedroom, where he collapsed onto a bed that was half-blankets, half-laundry.

Sometime later, in a very hazy dream, he imagined his bedroom window opening to let huge kernels of corn through; with sharp, popping sounds they exploded to form popcorn – so loud that he found himself shooting awake, heart pounding when he caught a shadow dancing idly on the floor beyond the foot of his bed.

“What the hell –” the person said, and it took a good span of seconds for Tim to wake up enough to pair the voice with Jason – and to realize that he’d come in through the window and effectively landed on spare bubble wrap that Tim had attempted to wedge in the corner. “You’re fucking Red Robin and your security is packing material?”

Tim flopped back down onto his bed and felt around until he found a bundle of socks and tossed them half-heartedly in Jason’s direction. “Red Hood,” he stated, his voice groggy and deep. “Caught breaking and entering, stepping on bubble wrap.”

Jason tripped, falling halfway onto the end of Tim’s bed as he scrambled to find his way in the darkness; he stepped on something a bit more solid and said, “Uhh…” at the same time that Tim let out a whimper and murmured, “Did you break my box?”

“Maybe?” Jason asked. “Are you alive? I thought you didn’t sleep?”

“I need that box,” Tim whined, using all of his energy to push himself up. “And you’re right. I don’t. I’m crashing. There’s a light switch on the wall.”

“Crashing?” Jason echoed, and he moved in the darkness, a shadow against darker shadows, cursing as he stumbled over even more discarded junk scattered on the floor of Tim’s room.

When the lights came on, Tim scrunched his eyes closed.

“Oh. Wow,” Jason said, and Tim heard an energy can crunch beneath his foot. He was sure it was one of nearly a dozen that peppered his carpet, and he blinked his eyes open when warm fingers wrapped around his forearm and tugged him forward. “Come on, you need to eat something.”

Tim stumbled out of bed, too tired to care. Back when he’d had time to sleep, he’d been a night owl; waking definitely wasn’t his forte.

“Do you even have food?” Jason asked, and Tim stifled a yawn and attempted to stretch, drifting past his kitchen and to the living room, where his homework and tech projects lay scattered.

“I think I have brie?” he answered absently. “Oh, D gave me some protein bars…”

“Dick knows you live like this and he gave you protein bars?”

“No,” Tim mumbled, shaking his head. “No, no. I mean, Dick has been over, but the protein bars are from the other D. Little D. Did I just call him that? Ugh. Damian. The child.”

Pantry doors clamored and Tim heard his refrigerator open more than once, and as time ventured on, Tim slowly defeated the grog. By the time clarity gripped him, Jason was standing in front of him, holding out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. His eyes, however, were drawn to the line of energy drinks Tim had situated for his study session.

“How many of those do you drink?”

Tim took the sandwich, nodding his head in thanks before saying, “Not enough, apparently. Okay, so what are we working on tonight?”

Drifting to the space between his coffee table and couch, Tim kicked away various items – blankets, cans, bags, wires, two tablets – and moved on to carefully closing his textbooks, saving his pages with color coded tears of post-it notes he’d stolen from the receptionist at WE. He welcomed Jason to join him on the couch with a gentle pat-pat on the cushion beside him, but Jason simply stared, as if he hadn’t decided whether or not Tim’s window had been a door to an alternate dimension.

“Well?” Tim queried.

“I’m sorry, I feel like I just walked into what will eventually need an intervention, and I’m trying to decide how I feel about it.”

“You feel like getting a GED,” Tim told him. Pat-pat.

Jason moved like a man thrust into unfamiliar territory, like his entire world had just been shaken, not stirred, and here he was trying to make sense of it. He stepped on something that snapped and immediately darted forward, sitting beside Tim, dipping the couch between them.

“Probably a pencil,” Tim murmured around a bite of sandwich, and when Jason looked back, he saw the cracked remains buried in carpet, in need of an excavation. “Also,” Tim added, “My apartment doesn’t need security. Would you rob it?”

Even though Jason remained quiet, as if politely contemplating the question, his eyes gave him away.

No. No, he wouldn’t.

“Well, uh,” Jason stated, and Tim watched as he let a backpack slide from his shoulders – it was interesting, seeing Jason with a backpack, looking like someone Tim might run into on campus. It brought back that feeling, the one that made him say stupid things before self-preservation slid in to stop him. “I guess we could finish the math section, since we were working on that the other night…”

Tim nodded before holding out his hand, marveling at what a difference light made when getting a good look at the workbook Jason was plowing through. It wasn’t old so much as it was abused; Tim decided he must have been staring at it a moment too long, because Jason moved to snatch it back.

A smothered, “Hey!” was forced from Tim’s lungs as he struggled to keep the book at bay, holding it as far away as he could – pulse racing as Jason nearly folded over him in an attempt to retrieve it.

A thousand thoughts bombarded Tim’s brain, things like: so this is what his aftershave smells like, and: oh, I didn’t realize his eyes had green in them. If Tim hadn’t been fully awake before, he definitely was now, and his sudden, stuttered silence had enough gravity to bring Jason’s gaze crashing to his own.

“Obviously, I couldn’t use my own name,” Jason stated, and Tim tried not to watch the way his mouth moved to form the words.

Instead, he kept his eyes glued to Jason’s and let out a blunt and very articulated, “What?”

The expression on Jason’s face came close to disbelief, though unamusement tugged the corners of his lips closer to a frown. When he sat back, Tim followed, eyes drifting to the book’s cover, where a name had been jotted in Sharpie.

“Peter…Jackson?” Tim raised an eyebrow, bringing the book back to his lap. “Is this, like, your GED alias?”

“Oh, like Alvin Draper was a winner,” Jason shot back, and Tim’s expression dissolved into pure, unadulterated judgment as he pointed a finger in Jason’s direction and tossed back, “Alvin Draper didn’t direct Lord of the Rings, Jason.”

Jason’s eyes went wide and his mouth parted, only to snap closed – only to fall open once again.

“That’s why it sounded so familiar….”

This time, Tim laughed outright. “Dear diary,” Tim joked, leaning forward in an effort to snag his phone from the table, which Jason deftly fought to avoid. “I’m so gonna post a tweet about this–”

“No. No you’re not –”

“GED. The one diploma to rule them all —”

“They’re our middle names!” Jason huffed, long-limbed enough to flatten a palm against Tim’s chest to keep him from being able to reach his phone. “Peter. Jackson,” he reiterated, before dropping his tone to its typical, steamrolled sarcasm. “But thank you so much for inviting me to your apartment without belittling me once.”

The whole idea caught Tim off guard. Why on earth would Jason choose their middles names? It was even more impressive, Tim thought, that Jason even knew his. Well, and that he’d use it for something.

Swallowing, he repeated, “Peter Jackson,” and the name sat between them for less than a second before Tim dissolved into laughter again, despite the fact he knew the truth behind it. “Jason, you have made my life.”

“Congrats on being easily pleased,” Jason offered with a sigh, and Tim smiled when his eyes chanced the Sharpie’d cover, just before he flipped open to where they’d left off before. He reached for an unopened energy drink and popped the tab, not at all bothered by the fact it was now room temperature.

“So,” he stated, feeling Jason’s gaze dance between him and the caffeinated beverage at his fingertips. “Where should we begin?”

***

The next morning didn’t arrive in that Jason had shown up around 1am and so Tim had already technically been awake. The sun certainly made an effort to climb a stack of clouds to reach his zenith, and the entire time, Tim danced to his same routines.

As usual, he was late to Wayne Enterprises, courtesy of a subway delay. Also a common occurrence, he impressed a room full of stockholders with a detailed report on the growth of the company with an emphasis on new projects scheduled to roll out over the remainder of the year.

Several people had questions; Tim always had an answer. Bruce arrived nearly fifteen minutes before the meeting was scheduled to end and enamored the small crowd with his easygoing air of confidence, which many of the shareholders treated like sunlight, and basked.

It was the one day of the week that Tim didn’t have class, aside from weekends, which meant that it was the only chance he had to do the various things he needed daylight for, such as fix his bike.

His complex came with pricey little storage sheds, and he kept Little Red tucked away in an effort to keep her from being stolen. As tech savvie as he was, there was no way he could prevent her from disappearing if he simply threw a tarp over her and abandoned her to some garage.

So, on days like today, he wheeled her out and tinkered, constantly putting his mind to work. It felt good to be busy.

It was nearly dark when he decided to check his phone, not quite expecting so many texts. Most were updates, the typical ‘hope you’re doing okay’ type check-ins, and surprisingly, a message sat, unread, from Jason.

If tonight’s slow, you know where to find me.

“If tonight is slow,” he mocked, because this was Gotham and that was a rarity. Still, the invite had Tim looking at the time, remembering the night before and the content they’d reviewed - the moments that Jason had gotten certain answers correct and how success had painted a rare smile that lit the edges of his face.

It was such a simple thing, but it made Tim feel an unfamiliar warmth; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt that type of accomplishment, and seeing the excitement in Jason’s eyes was enough to get a secondhand high. It made his pulse do silly things, like stumble.

I’ll let you know, he replied, because, with crime the way it was, that was the best he could do. Somehow though, Tim knew they’d both find time.

***

And they did, thus beginning the routine of Tim and Jason racing to complete patrols; a steadfast habit that soon turned into a competition to see who could beat who to the weather-vane topped warehouse. Though most of their study sessions were spent legs-dangling over the old, crumbling rooftop ledge, they once ended up sitting across from each other at a neon-lit diner in a darker part of town.

Tim had forgotten the feel of a full stomach and downed a milkshake just because he could. When Jason teased him about it, Tim stubbornly ordered a second, intent to relish the sugary rush that made his head feel light and coolness that had his skin prickling.

Napkins littered the space between them, peppered in scribbled notes. Drops of dewy soda spotted the table, trapped between smeared rings of condensation. Plates pushed aside, workbook center-table, Tim remembered lifting his eyes, just once, to catch Jason’s attention lingering on his face.

“What?” Tim had asked, dragging the back of his hand across his mouth. “Ketchup?”

Jason’s expression hadn’t given anything away. He answered, “Ketchup.”

It wasn’t until later that evening that Tim realized his sleeve had come away completely clean.

With such a minimal amount of time standing between them and Jason’s exam, every spare bit of time seemed to count – from the nights they managed to flip through flashcards to Tim’s hectic, run-around-town days.

“I’ve got to go; I’m headed into a meeting,” Tim would say after talking Jason through the laws of thermodynamics, fingers tangled in the knot of a half-formed tie.

Halfway through another day, he might be fighting for a lecture hall chair, carefully listing out the order of operations for a particularly complex math problem.

“Class about to start?” Jason would ask.

Tim would reply, “Yeah, but you’ve got this. Try it again and we’ll touch base later.”

The days became quick rushes of midsummer haze, Tim darting here-and-there, only half awake but somehow brimming with energy. A visit to Wayne Manor earned him a care package from Alfred and at some point, his midterm grades posted. Tim had nearly forgotten he had been waiting for them.

With a life so fast-paced, Tim hadn’t noticed how normal it had become for he and Jason to text here and there. In fact, Jason probably knew more about his schedule than anyone else.

Still, it had not occurred to Tim, for instance, to text Jason to let him know he’d been shot (grazed, really) and was on bed rest (Alfred’s orders, Batman’s decree). It was the one night that studying got shoved to the backburner – Jason was across town, doing whatever for Roy’s birthday, and Tim was unequivocally down-for-the-count, not used to checking in with anyone.

It also had not occurred to him – even once – that Jason might come looking for him; that the Red Hood might brave Tim’s apartment one more time – that Tim might awaken from a deep and fantastical dream to the sound of panicked popping and a poison-laced, “Mother fucker!”

Of course, he also did not predict the following, crunching, snap.

“The box,” Tim whined.

“Dick told Roy who told me what happened – are you okay?” Jason asked, and his shuffling made it apparent he was attempting to untangle himself from sticky sheets of plastic. A step forward sent him through a tower of cans. “For the love of—“

Jason hit the light.

“My eyes,” Tim moaned, before trying to rollover, only a slurred groan bled from between his lips. “Ah, my arm…”

“Tim,” Jason stated, deadpan. “You’re bleeding.”

Tim blinked blearily, his head a cottony sort-of chaos. The room around him seemed floaty and he felt he weighed less than a penny. “What?” he asked, head lulling sideways until he saw the seeped-through bandages and his blood-blotted bedding. “Oh. That.”

Jason’s steps were easy to follow; he came close enough to the head of Tim’s bed to block out the light from Tim’s lamp. A shake-shake of pills followed, along with Jason’s question of, “These from B?”

“They’re for me,” Tim murmured, sleepily. “I’m bleeding.”

“Yeah, we’ve covered that,” Jason replied, and then his fingers found Tim’s good arm and tugged him upright, forcing Tim’s legs to spill over the edge – Tim wobbled dizzily for a moment as Jason’s palm held him steady.

“You should be studying.” Tim’s words clung to each other, like one sweep of sound.

Jason let out a breath through his nose. “When’s the last time you changed these?”

Tim turned his head to watch Jason’s free hand fiddle with the ribbons of medical tape that kept patches of sterile pads pressed to his skin and felt vaguely offended. “One does not simply change their own bandages,” he stated loosely, but when Jason’s eyes flickered to his, showing more concern than anything else, Tim merely shrugged.

“Too tired,” he explained, because it was the truth. After taking pain meds the night before, he’d crashed, and this was as coherent as he’d been since.

“Yeah, well,” Jason didn’t look surprised, and his gaze drifted to the pills on Tim’s nightstand. “Are there stitches under here?” he asked, carefully peeling back tape.

“Yes,” Tim nodded, unintentionally dragging out the s.

“Was it deep?”

“Mmm,” Tim hummed, catching himself as he drifted sideways. “Yes.”

“Where’s your first aid kit?” Jason questioned, and Tim hadn’t realized he was staring at his bedroom door until Jason’s forefinger settled under his chin and guided him back.

“Bathroom,” Tim answered, somehow aware of each time his lungs filled to take in a breath. It was some sort of hyper awareness, but the kind that couldn’t quite stay focused on one thing in particular.

Jason stood up and left Tim to his own devices – which weren’t much, because the fog of exhaustion made his eyelids feel weighted with gold. Quietly, he slipped sideways, curling atop his good arm over the plush fabric of a fleece blanket.

It felt like hours before he was being pulled upright again, Jason’s hands much warmer than his tone, which sounded torn between concern and frustration.

“You gotta stay awake, Timbo,” he said.

“Mm,” Tim acknowledged, noncommittal. He felt Jason trace the jagged line of stitches with his finger and hissed when a damp cloth blotted the edges, gritting his teeth tiredly against a not entirely unfamiliar ache. After all, this wasn’t his first rodeo.

“Did you do these?” Jason asked, and Tim had to focus on the words to follow Jason’s train of thought.

“Th’stitches?” he asked, just before shaking his head. “Um. B. It’s gonna scar, ‘sn’t it.” It wasn’t a question so much as a statement; Bruce’s first aid was quick and practical, if nothing else.

“You think after so many years this would look slightly less med-student,” Jason commented, apologizing when he prodded one particularly sore spot. “When did you get home this morning?”

Tim’s head lulled backwards and he stared at his popcorn ceiling in thought. “Mm…maybe two?”

The hypersensitivity returned, only this time it clung to how warm Jason was; he was so close that Tim felt heat coming off him in waves, which, he deduced, probably meant he had a fever.

“Is it infected?” Tim questioned.

“No,” Jason said, and the word spilled across Tim’s ear. He couldn’t help the goosebumps that erupted on his skin, didn’t want to help them, didn’t want to disturb the careful application of anti-bac cream on the sore flesh of his bicep. “You’ve been out all day though. When I’m done, let’s make something to eat.”

The idea was inviting.

At least until Tim dissected the words.

“All day?” he said. “No, no–” he murmured, and then he was trying to move, which brought Jason’s palm back to the soft cotton tee he was wearing. “I have a meeting. And a class. What time is it?”

Jason’s palm drew back just enough so that he had a finger pressed to Tim’s sternum, and his tone dipped low. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“But—”

“Ah,” Jason made a buzzer-like noise and followed it with a shoosh . “You need to eat and you need to sleep.”

Tim grumbled but gave up arguing; his eyes slipped closed as he gave in to the rhythmic motion of Jason re-bandaging his arm, answering any of Jason’s lingering questions with small, tired yes ’s or no ’s.

The journey to the living room was a tiring trudge, and Jason abandoned him on the couch in order to scavenge the kitchen. Tim stared thoughtlessly at his phone, which he decided he must have left on the coffee table the night before.

Between opening and closing cabinet doors, Jason stated, “Congratulations on having the world’s tallest pile of dirty dishes, by the way,” and Tim grunted.

“I’m in between maid services,” he stated as the other returned with bits and pieces from the care package Alfred had put together. At the sight of sausage, cheese, and crackers, Tim thought he’d never been so hungry in his life.

“Don’t take any more of those pills,” Jason advised, and Tim wondered how desperate he must look, tearing chunks of smoked sausage from the link before jamming them between his lips. “I mean,” Jason added, “do you even feel anything?”

“Nothing,” Tim confirmed between bites.

“You’re sleep-eating.”

“Starving,” Tim hummed, making a grabby hand for a glass of water that Jason had brought for him. While he worked his way through the plate, Jason dragged out his workbook, which made Tim shake his head forlornly. “I can’t help you today.”

Jason snorted. “Thank you, Captain Obvious. Just get some rest. I’ll stay until later.”

Tim passed forward a plate full of crumbs and tipped backwards, sagging into a corner crevasse of his couch. His arm ached and he felt buzzed, and he was definitely fighting a losing battle against sleep.

“Is this a dream?” he found himself asking, because really, he couldn’t be sure. Jason’s shoulders were less than an arm’s reach away, and all he could smell was that damn aftershave.

“Nope. But you probably won’t remember any of it, anyway.”

“Mmm...” Tim hummed, content. It was nice having Jason around. It felt good not to think. It felt good to feel good and for once, his heart rushed in a way that made him feel like he’d stumbled across some incredibly obvious thing that he’d somehow never quite completely acknowledged. With slow-dragged, sleepy vowels, he murmured, “Hey,” and then, “are you good at keeping secrets?”

Jason’s pencil paused mid-scribble. “What?” The word was tinged with humor, but also something else. Responsibility, probably, because Jason was, at heart, a good soul. “Uh, no. No I am not.”

“Oh,” Tim breathed out, disappointed. Then, “Because I think I like you.”

The words hung; Tim’s eyes had long fluttered closed, and so he only heard, distantly, Jason ask, “What?” too long after.

The exhaustion was real now, and Tim could feel the warm tug of sleep pulling him under. It was all he could do to breathe, “Shh,” against his pillow, and then, with a long sigh, “It’s a secret.”

Outside the window, the world hummed.

***

Consciousness was a fickle thing, a colorful ribbon that slipped between Tim’s fingers. The smallest fuzzy fragments were just beyond his grasp, memories that blurred together, lost to passing time.

When Tim woke, he was alone.

Had he imagined Jason? He suspected it was possible; the images that attempted to drag themselves from the depths were vague and simplistic – the curve of Jason’s neck from behind, the way Jason’s mouth moved as he read silently to himself, the temples of his glasses, sloped against his ear…

Tim frowned.

Glasses?

Since when did Jason wear glasses?

“Ugh,” Tim groaned just before dragging his hands down his face. On a scale of 1 to that time he’d tripped while waving hello to Superman, Jason Todd babysitting him landed a hard 7.

Also, Tim wasn’t even entirely sure he was in his apartment?

Looking around, it was…clean. Too clean. Gone were the cans scattered on his floor; stacked were the books he’d dropped here and there and never bothered to pick up. Weeks of smeared spills, wiped clean – and if Tim tilted his head at just the right angle, he could see that his mile-high stack of dirty dishes was no longer threatening to fall victim to physics.

It was unsettling; Tim didn’t really like people touching his things. It was a product of paranoia – having a secret identity had that effect. It felt awkward though, knowing Jason had picked up after him; Tim had no reason to feel embarrassed but he did, and as his mind skittered through all the possible projects Jason could have busied himself with, he felt his heart do a little lurch.

He wouldn’t have… gone through anything, would he?

Tim wasn’t sure. He was up in an instant though, wandering down the hallway that led to his room, fingertips brushing the wall just in case he needed balance. He hated the feel of after-medicine grog, where the world felt foreign and his thoughts seemed to stumble.

The first thing he noticed was that his bed was stripped; he vaguely remembered blood on his comforter. The second was that this room apparently had carpet. It was beige.

Tim’s eyes darted, searching. They found what they sought – a box at the end of his bed, crumpled, he assumed, because Jason had stepped on it again. Other than that, it seemed untouched; Tim dropped to a crouch and examined it, breathing a soft sigh of relief. For a moment he was tempted to open it.

He decided not to.

After all, even if it was damaged - well, it didn’t matter. Tim tucked it under his bed frame, thinking it might fair better with shelter, and took a deep breath.

He had to keep it safe.

Shortly after, Tim hunted down his phone, not entirely surprised to see a slew of texts. Bruce telling him not to come in; Dick making sure he was alive. A message from Tiffany, his assistant, said that his meetings had been rescheduled for today and the next, along with a succinct, I’ve got everything handled.

With a sigh, Tim sent a message to Jason, more out of habit than anything else.

So. About last night.

He waited a moment, resisting the urge to ask what exactly happened before Jason had a chance to reply. After all, it was the perfect opening for Jason to be Jason and turn the whole ordeal into a joke – which is why it caught Tim by surprise when a message came through that read, simply:

Do you want to come over for dinner tonight?

Tim frowned. His apartment wasn’t that bad.

I’ll cook, Jason added.

...unless Jason had found something sentient in the fridge, which wasn’t an impossibility. How long ago had be bought the brie?

Sure, Tim texted, not willing to ask. He added: also I refuse to feel embarrassed about all this.

Jason shot back: Good.

Tim blinked. Then he shrugged.

Nothing much must have happened at all.

[jungkookienoona]

The Meme and His Tutor

Part 24: Their First Scandal

Co-written with @tragicshadows​

Recommended Song: Lost Stars (Cover) by Jungkook

|All Chapters|Masterlist|

Summary:

Your kiss with Jungkook had gone viral and you can't help but panic about what may happen.

Genre: Fluff, comedy

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader (Y/N)

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 2957

Length: 24/?

'Congrats on the Jungcock! But...did you know you're currently going viral?'

Viral? The kiss had gone viral already? HOW WERE THERE EVEN PICTURES OF IT?! The ARMY that arrived didn't follow you into the departure lounge.  Unable to stop yourself, you typed ‘Jungkook kiss’ into your phone browser. The first thing you saw was multiple image results all showing the same picture of Jungkook kissing you in the airport. Scrolling down showed you that sites like Allkpop, Koreaboo, Soompi and even KpopViral had written ‘articles’ about the picture. You chose to read Soompi’s as, from what you had seen previously, they weren’t as harsh as other kpop sites.

‘Jungkook Spotted Kissing Woman In Airport

A tearful farewell for now or a heart broken goodbye? According to our sources it is most likely the first. K-ARMY and Korean Media Sites alike showed up at Incheon Airport after the official BTS twitter account (@BTS_twt) was tagged in multiple tweets by international fans about a woman they called ‘Jungkook’s Noona’ leaving Korea to return to Britain. These tweets included which airport the couple would most likely show up at since only one airport near Seoul has flights to Britain.

Following these tweets a crowd of about 20 K-ARMY gathered outside of the airport, waiting to catch a glimpse of their beloved maknae and his mystery woman. Little did either know that the paparazzi were allowed into the departure lounge after informing the airport of their intentions in advance. These picture are the result:’

The first picture was you preparing to leave, then the kiss and then finally a picture of Jungkook sobbing in his seat. You felt your heart ache at the sight of him crying once more.

‘An emotionally charged departure between lovers. Jungkook and BigHit are yet to respond to the pictures. However, it seems Tumblr may hold the identity of his noona since those on Twitter site the infamous blogging site as their source. How will ARMY react to the heart of their maknae being stolen? Only time will tell.’

Panic flooded your thoughts.

'Y/N? Y/N are you okay?'

'No. No, I'm not.'

'Want me to come over?'

'Please.'

You were starting to hyperventilate. Chubs replied instantly saying she was on her way and not even ten minutes later there was a knock on your door. You opened it to reveal her stood there in a fluffy brown onesie, that made her look like a teddy bear, with a backpack slung over her shoulder.

"I have snacks and some films." She opened her arms with a sorry smile, "And hugs." You sniffled and wiped away the fresh wave of tears that travelled down your cheeks. She took you into her arms, "It'll be okay. Jungkook and the rest of Bangtan will fix this, I'm sure."

You nodded and stepped out of her embrace so you could shut the door.

"I-I don't know if he knows yet."

She followed you into your bedroom where you plopped down on the edge of your bed and pulled your knees up to your chest.

"It's viral. There's no way he couldn't know."

The Skype call did end with Bangtan shouting his name... they must have seen it. You could only imagine how he was reacting. Was he as worried as you? Your relationship was brand new, would BigHit make him end it to maintain BTS's reputation and popularity? The thought triggered a new wave of tears and you buried you head in your hands, sucking in deep breaths and letting Jungkook's scent calm you like it had on the flight home.

Chubs took a seat beside you and ran a soothing hand up and down your back.

"You need to either call or message him, find out what's going on his end."

"I-I sh-sh-should probably c-calm down be-f-fore I m-m-message him..." You hiccupped.

"Sounds like a plan."

Chubs got out a DVD from her bag. You didn't have time to see what it was before she was opening the case and sliding a disk into your TV/DVD combo. She then grabbed a bag of sweet and salted popcorn. You grabbed the shark plushie from where you left it on your bed and cuddled it to your chest while the opening credits to The Lego Movie began. She could have put on fucking Sharknado for all you cared. You just needed to be distracted.

Chubs suddenly turned to you and pat the plushie on the nose, "Cute."

"K-Kookie got it f-for me on o-o-our day out. H-he nearly c-called me his g-girlfriend-"

Chubs interrupted you, eyes wide in shock, "HE NEARLY CALLED YOU HIS GIRLFRIEND AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!"

"I WAS PREOCCUPIED!"

She shook her head disapprovingly while tutting before a sly smile took over her face.

"So, he accidentally called you his girlfriend? How did that happen?"

You blushed as you remembered climbing on his back and the incident that followed.

"The tour guide asked why he, a Korean, was on an English tour and accidentally said 'For my gi-Noona!'."

She let out a loud 'aw' making your blush deepen. You tried to focus on the film.

"What else happened?"

"I'll tell you later."

She pouted but turned her gaze to the film in understanding that you weren't really in the mood to talk about things just yet.

You weren't particularly hungry, yet you considered it another method of distraction and shoved a handful of popcorn into your mouth. While munching away you heard your KKT alert go off. Unlocking your phone, you opened the app. It was Jungkook.

'Something happened. But don't worry Kitten, I'll sort it out. I just got you, I'm not going to give you up.'

Your eyes began to water at the sweet message and you cursed yourself for being so silly and thinking he wouldn't want to be with you after this.

You nudged Chubs and showed her the message.

"See, everything is going to be just fine." She used her fluffy sleeve to catch a tear that had unknowingly fallen down your cheek. "He'd never let anything happen to you."

Another alert.

'Do you mind if I make your song public?'

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

'Of course, I don't mind :) but why?'

'You'll see in about 20 minutes.' You frowned and asked him what he was doing. All he replied with was, 'Trust me.'

You did, so you let him be and placed your phone behind you in an attempt to resist the temptation of checking the time every few seconds.

"What's going on?" Chubs asked, offering you the bowl of popcorn after she took her own handful.

"He's going to make a song he wrote for me public... I think it may be a part of his plan... whatever it is."

You watched as a few pieces of popcorn fell from between her fingers to her lap.

"HE WROTE YOU A SONG?!" She practically shouted causing you to slap a hand over her mouth.

"Yes. But shush! It's late and people are sleeping."

"He wrote you a song?" She repeated in a hushed whisper.

"You didn't know? I thought you were in on his plan."

It was her turn to blush.

"Ah...I see he told you then..." she trailed off and gave you a shy smile. "I didn't know if he wanted you to know or not."

"He told me because I went off about there being fucking MYTEEN on the playlist." You slapped her gently on the arm. "How dare you do that to me!"

"They have a song about wanting their noona to see them as a man. It was perfect! How could I not?"

She had a good point but you wouldn't let her know that.

"He kept asking me who my bias is!"

She shrugged, "So?"

"He insisted he know who was in competition for my attention."

"Aw, he's so cute thinking Yuvinie is competition!"

"Don't mention that name around me!"

She leaned forward, nudging your side with her elbow while saying 'Yuvinie~' in a sing-song voice. You gave her a warning glare that caused her to shrink away with a 'Don't hit me.' You smirked and went back to munching happily on your popcorn. She too turned her attention back to the screen, arms wrapped around herself as if shielding herself from an attack.

"You and Jungkook are very similar. You both destroy fruit with body parts and you both threaten to hit people."

A proud smile found it's way onto your face, all traces of your earlier tears gone.

"I guess the Thigh Power Couple is official now."

Twenty minutes later while you and Chubs were giggling away at the childish nature of Lego Batman when both of your phones got a notification. It was the official BTS twitter account. The tweet contained the date followed by 'Jungkook Log' and a link to a YouTube video. This must've been what he was planning.

You clicked the link and angled your phone so the two of you could see.

'Hello, this is Jungkook from BTS. I won't bother mentioning the date since I reckon this is going to be a memorable day thanks to a certain picture that was published.'

Your eyebrows drew together when you noticed he was speaking English with Korean subtitles.

'I'm sure a lot of you know by now, but I want to tell you what happened and how that picture came about.'

The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile as he ran a hand through his hair.

'The woman in that picture is my Jagiya, my Noona, Y/N. We met... we met at a fansign in her country post concert. I asked her to tutor me in English since she wanted to teach it as a career path... It's been four months since I first called her.' He chuckled, 'Seems like it's been longer.'

Chubs made some comment about him being 'smitten' but you hushed her and she fell silent.

'During those four months, she's visited me twice here in Korea where we hung out as friends. She's met the other members, who all love her, and the majority of staff at the company too.'

A little clip of the members making you have a dance off appeared against Namjoon and Jin appeared and you recognised Jimin's giggles. The short ball of mochi had filmed the embarrassing moment?! The clip cut off before you could look too much like an idiot.

'Just before she visited for the first time, I realised I had feelings for her. But I was too chicken to confess while she was here.'

Since before your first visit? He didn't tell you that. And he'd been holding back for so long?

'So, I roped in a few people to help put together this elaborate confession that after weeks of planning finally came to fruition less than twenty-four hours ago. I'll skip over some details, but ultimately I turned to music to tell her how I felt.' He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, 'What I didn't anticipate was how having her there in front of me again would make me want to show her just how felt. How it would make me want to throw away the plan.’

You smiled softly at the Jungkook on screen and even let Chubs quietly 'aw'.

'So, I did.' His cheeks grew a faint shade of pink. 'I, uh...kissed her just before she boarded the flight hoping it would be enough to break through her obliviousness so she knew how much I loved her.' He mumbled the last part, ducking his head shyly as his blush spread from his ears to his neck.

But then he was frowning, 'I don't regret what I did but I won't say I'm not angry at myself. I should've known the media would've been there to invade my privacy if ARMY had turned up to invade it too.'

You sighed, not liking or agreeing with how he was blaming himself for not knowing. How was anyone to know that someone would have made it to departures?

'I would like to ask ARMY and everyone including media and news sites to please respect us, and more importantly my Noona.' His tongue swiped across his lips, probably to moisten them thanks to nerves, 'She didn't ask for this. She didn't ask to be a part of my life, I asked her... You're probably wondering about why I'm talking in English with Korean subtitles. One, it's to make sure this message as clear as possible. Two, to show you what a wonderful job she did at tutoring me. That being said, our relationship has just begun and I will not give it up, so please, don't hate my Noona. Don't demonize her. She did nothing wrong apart from being really oblivious.'

He chuckled and you and Chubs giggled along. No one was going to let you live it down, ever, by the sounds of it.

'I hope you all wish us good luck for the future and take care of us. Thank you, ARMY. Annyeong.'

The video ended with a link coming on screen. Tapping on it out of curiosity, you found yourself watching a familiar video of him with his guitar. You wondered why he linked it at the end. You were brought out of your thoughts by Chubs grabbing your phone out of your hand to get a better look at the video.

"This is the song he wrote for you?"

You nodded, "He asked me if he could make it public. I don't mind. I think it's good for people to hear the development of our relationship in a song."

Chubs nodded and focus on the video in front of her. You, on the hand, were itching to see what was happening on tumblr when it was mentioned in the song. As soon as the song came to a close and Chubs passed you the phone, you hurriedly went to Tumblr, humming every so often when Chubs gushed about the pictures he included in the song.

The first thing you noticed was how many messages flooded your inbox.

It would be a lie to say you weren't nervous about opening it. Who knew how much hate could be hidden there? So, with a deep breath, you tapped the icon. The first message you saw was from an anon saying 'FUCKING FINALLY! DID HE GIVE YOU THE JUNGCOCK?' A high-pitched squeal slipped from your lips and Chubs looked at you in alarm.

"What is it?!"

"People are asking if I got the Jungcock! Where's the hate? The death threats? The ARMYs saying they'd kill to be in my position?"

You scrolled down your inbox until one message stood out to you.

"Ah, here they are. 'Jungkook deserves better than you.' God, I thought my messages were going to be full of pervs."

"Block any that send hate. That is my command as captain of your ship!" Chubs brought her hand to her heart as if to show how honoured she felt to be 'captain'.

"Doing it!" You went through your inbox, ignoring the messages as you opened them so to block and delete them.

Chubs took out her own phone and went about posting Jungkook's Log and ‘The Fairground’s video while The Lego Batman Movie reached its climax in the background. You took a quick screenshot of your, now hate free, inbox and sent it to Jungkook.

'Apparently most only care about knowing if you got laid.'

He replied a few minutes later with a frowning emoji.

'Noona's followers are perverts.'

'They're fangirls, it's to be expected.'

'Does this make my Jagi a fangirl AND a pervert?'

You chuckled and typed out a response. However, out of the corner of your eye you couldn't help but see Chubs looking at you strangely.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Kookie is very naive about how a fangirl's mind works." You giggled.

Chubs rose an eyebrow.

You sent 'NO!' to Jungkook then turned to Chubs who had locked her phone and folded her arms, waiting for you to say something.

"What...?"

"Are you two being dirty? Should I leave?"

Your eyes went wide. Dirty? Sure, you had written smut about him but you never actually thought about... doing that with him. You had only just got into a relationship with him!

"Of course not!"

You went back to scrolling through tumblr to distract yourself and your jaw dropped at something Jungkook had reblogged. It was a petition titled ‘Get Jungkook's Noona To Korea'. Jungkook had added a caption saying, 'I'm trying'.

He was trying? To what? Get you to Korea?

The thought caused your mouth to go dry as you imagined getting on a plane without having booked a return flight.

"Hey, have you seen- oh, you're looking at it too..."

"What... what do you think it means?"

"Maybe he's planning another trip for you."

You sighed, mind flitting back to all the times he suggested flying you back out, and that one time you got upset.

"I told him not to..."

"Look," Chubs grabbed the TV remote and paused the film which had finished and was running its end credits, then turned to you. "You've had a long day. Why don't you just forget about it for tonight?"

"...Okay... I guess there's one thing about what's happened I can be happy about."

Chubs leant forward in interest, "What would that be?"

Your fingers went up to trace over your lips before you smiled.

"There's a picture of mine and Kookie's first kiss. A precious memory captured."

She grinned too, "Not many people can say they have a picture of their first kiss with their partner. You're lucky, Y/N."

A/N: @tragicshadows is away right now so this chapter isn't as well edited as it normally is. Usually, she does the final checks and stuff since I'm dyslexic and don't notice grammatical or spelling mistakes that well. Anyway, CHUBS HAS FINALLY APPEARED IN PERSON! Also we know it's short but we didn't want to try and cram too much into one chapter or it would just be messy. We have another pole for you >here< about which chapters you would like to see a JK POV of.