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randomfoggytiger · 2 years

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X-Files Collector’s Edition: Mulder’s Early or Late Birthdays (Angst)

What are birthdays without angst, especially in the X-Files universe? These birthday fics seem to be a magnet for mixed emotions-- like the rest of Mulder’s life-- and it’s fun to explore the lows he weathers with his supportive loved ones.

I’m grouping these by author in a verrry loose chronological order (but it’s there.)

(**Edit: Added in scully-loves-ruthie’s Fictober Day 13 entry.**)

*cracks knuckles* Here we go!

greycoupon’s Happy Birthday

““Fox Mulder hadn’t wanted a party for his 13th birthday. Sam was gone and his family was a mess. There didn’t seem to be much to celebrate. But his mother had actually come out of her room, where she spent all her time now “resting”, to suggest it. She seemed the most alive he’d seen her since it had happened when she was making plans. She was smiling and even though she was still doped up with tranquilizers, as she was constantly these days, for a minute Mulder could see his old mom. So he said okay. That was a mistake.””

Mulder had a truly horrific 13th birthday and has avoided celebrating since. Scully and TLG are able to throw him a good one at last.

@syntax6’s (Gossamer, FFN, Omniscribe) Collection of Mulder’s birthdays

Post Shadows Mulder is surprised by Scully’s birthday card and friendship. And also disappointed by how tiny the Liberty Bell is.

Pre-One Breath Mulder is surprised from his mourning by Tena’s call. She answers questions about his birth; but carelessly leaves him with a final sting.

Redux ii Scully is desperately trying not to die on Mulder’s birthday while setting up her death and burial preparations.

Post Unruhe Mulder invites Scully to his birthday bash at TLG’s. She is still skittish, but the group are inclusive and kindly overlook any strange behavior.

These are all amazingly excellent. I pulled this quote because it touches on an aspect that all these stories explore--

““She stretched until she could reach her watch from the nightstand. It read eleven-twenty on October thirteenth. Satisfied, Scully returned the watch to its resting place and drew her hands back under the blankets.

She had one mission left: don't die today.

"Mom? Can you do me a favor?" Her mother came to stroke her hair.

"Anything, baby."

"Could you please go to the gift shop and pick out a birthday card? It's Mulder's birthday today.”"

@lokisgame’s (Ao3) 33

““We've got time," she replied calmly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.””

Pre- One Breath Mulder’s happy birthday dream is dashed when he wakes to a world without Scully.

Jennifer Maurer’s There’s Still Nobody Home

““Once he snuck upstairs to her office and put a post-it note on the picture of her sister on her desk, then waited for hours in the parking garage.

You never know, that might be the magic charm to bring her back.””

Pre- One Breath Mulder is slowly deteriorating: he fails to keep his plants alive, fails to keep himself from sobbing on Frohike’s shoulder, fails to connect to Maggie-- all while blindly failing himself.

Juliett’s

All I Want for Christmas

““He had done everything he knew to do and now he pled.

And October 13th had come and gone with nothing, nothing for him. At least, nothing that he wanted.””

Pre- One Breath Mulder is having a ROUGH birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Pleas and hands of mercy cannot give him what he wants or allow others to pull him from gloom.

Mulder’s Birthday

““Fox Mulder glanced at his watch and sighed. Almost time. Any minute now his partner would be giving him the look that said it was time to go home.

But he didn't want to go home.

After all, who wanted to spend a birthday alone?””

Post Paper Clip Scully surprises Mulder with a birthday dinner and mini sculpture. Maggie gifts him Melissa’s pendant.

Erin M. Blair’s

You Can’t Change History

““I would have been doing exactly what Bill's trying to do to me. He's sizing me up before getting the chance to know me. I know it's not fair, but I can understand him.”"

Season 2 Bill tries to intercept Scully from celebrating Mulder’s birthday with him. Mulder resignedly understands; but is happy Scully won’t leave.

Anonymous/RebeccaRusnak’s (Mulders Creek) Lament

(**note: I THINK Anonymous is Rebecca Rusnak, but who knows? I just have to trust my past-self’s judgment.**)

““Fox."

Mulder stirred as the honey-smooth voice washed over him. He started as the velvety-soft hand touched his shoulder. He opened his eyes and stared, astonished, at his mother.

"Mom," he croaked...””

Post Herrenvolk Mulder is alone for his birthday. He trudges back to Quonacatog to seep in his dark memories... until Tena (called Margaret here) shows up, and the two actually have a heartfelt bonding session, marshmallows included.

@aloysiavirgata’s (Ao3, Gossamer, WayBackMachine, LiveJournal, Alt.)

Unnamed Post Unruhe

““It’s been two days since she was with Schnauz.

Two days since the howlers in him tried to claim her.

Two days since Mulder had killed a man.

Post Unruhe Scully had called his cell, his apartment, and the Gunmen before chancing a visit to the basketball court near his apartment. He was there, trash-talking and dribbling in the crisp October air.””

Mulder leaves his birthday bball game to offer comfort to a rattled Scully.

By Falling In and In 5/5

““He used to wear horrible ties," Scully tells her son. "Really awful ones. So if he ever gets a job where he has to wear them, you and I are going to pick them out." "My ties were not that bad," Mulder says. "They were refreshing. And besides, this is coming from the Queen of Shoulder Pads?" Scully hits him with a pillow and William shakes his head. "You guys are so weird.””

Mulder’s birthday-- a clock from Will and elated dancing with Scully-- is halted by CSM and his rescue mission to save them from Colonization.

@crescentmoon223′s The Realm of Extreme Possibility

““He never should have brought her out here today. He’d truly thought—for once—it would be a nice trip to the forest, a fun hike as they tracked the Goatman.

A piercing shriek split the night, and Scully went rigid in his arms. It sounded like a woman screaming in terror. That grave looked like it had been here for years, but what if…””

Post Redux ii Mulder’s birthday trip to the forest-- to hunt the Goatman-- is derailed when Scully gets “deja vu” (her denial-word for visions) about visiting these woods before... and they find a corpse with an identical necklace to hers.

Summer’s Conspiracy Not Included

““We've been swarmed by pre-historic bugs, attacked by genetic mutants, and tied up by Satanic schoolteachers, Mulder. It was only a matter of time before we got a flat tire." Scully slammed the trunk shut, draping the sweatshirt from her overnight bag over her head.

"Yeah, but you'd think with all those big catastrophes, the odds would be on our side for little things like flats."

"You call a five-mile walk in this rain a little thing?" Scully fumed.

Her partner regarded her with a mixture of affection and fear.””

S2 Scully’s secret plans for Mulder’s birthday are almost derailed by his many misshaps while trying to drive them back to airport. Not so much angst as shooting himself in the foot.

Pattie’s Enhanced

““Mulder, what happened to your scalp? There's... there's a shaved spot with what look to be sutures. Mulder?"

"What?" He passed his fingers over his head. He felt his cool fingertips on the back of his head, left side, about three inches from the crown.””

S6 Mulder, TLG, and a Harvard doctor do something incredibly stupid. And, of course, he forgot what.

Folieadeux’s Love Obsessional

““Throwing herself into the shadow of the building, she realizes she doesn't know how long she's been attacking Fox's car. She looks at her watch and is stunned to see that it has only been 15 minutes. It feels like a lifetime.””

S6 or S7 Mulder has a stalker in time for his birthday. Her worsening behavior almost stops when served with a restraining order... until her jealousy of Scully overcomes her remaining bits of reason.

Avalon’s Celebration

“"Well, what's the big deal?" I ask, starting to get a little exasperated. I just don't see why she should be so concerned. "Maybe it's somebody's birthday, and someone in the bullpen brought it down here for you. You weren't here, so they left it. End of story."

She looks at me, the brow above her right eye arching in that definitive Scully look that she gets right before she pins you, squirming, to the wall. "Did they pull out Mulder's case file for me and leave it there, too?"“

Doggett is frustrated that Scully is fixated on a mysterious cupcake and an opened file. When he understands, he formulates an out-there explanation that honors Scully’s skepticism and Mulder’s memory.

**The below fics take place after Existence, which is where I usually end in my own headcanon. HOWEVER, these fics can’t help their lineage, so I’ve decided not to hold that over their innocent heads.**

XSketch’s Birthday Arrival

““...but days like this seemed to emulate his low resolve so closely that it made everything that much more painful; days like this brought back so many memories of standing beside her under an umbrella on some case or another that the ache to be home where he belonged only deepened that much more.

...Those things, and the fact that today was October 13th...””

S9 Mulder gets a birthday email from Scully while in New Mexico. However, it takes a surprise gift to finally banish his depressed mood.

@greekowl87’s Friday the 13th

““It worked. They made it work.

But still, there was always a nagging feeling in the back of his mind.””

IWTB-era Mulder and Scully have settled into life at the Unremarkable House; but Mulder sinks into despair when she leaves early without a word.

Lolabeegood’s (Mulder’s Creek) Laundry Day

““Banana Republic" he muttered to himself and shook his head.

Scully was at it again. Ordering clothes online for a man who never went anywhere.””

Pre-IWTB Mulder’s leisurely day is halted by the arrival of a FedEx truck. Hints of his developing depression seep through when Scully has to remind him of his own birthday.

@scully-loves-ruthie‘s Unnamed Fictober Day 13

““I could make a cake,” She offered wrapping her arms around his waist from behind.

“I don’t want you to do that Scully. It’s just another day.” He shimmies out of her embrace headed toward the office, his pajama pants dragging on the hardwood offering a stark contrast to her work heels.””

Mulder considers his birthday just another day-- which isn’t a bad thing.

Ahhhh, a job well done. Well, well-- that’s all for now!

Enjoy!

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comm-caribou · 2 years

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Chapter Nineteen: Brand New Friends:

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: none (let me know if I missed any!)

————

“You sure you don’t want to join us?” Hound asked, “we’re going to explore.”

“You love exploring,” Mutt urged.

“You can tell us rock facts,” Zombie offered.

Calico knew it was no use. His brothers could offer Digger anything in the universe, but he needed to stay.

He worked for Guppy.

Digger never outright said he worked for Guppy, but it was pretty obvious to Calico this was his main source of income to supply their ice cream adventures and other little treats.

Digger lightly shooed them away, “I’m just going to help with the heavy work. You boys go have fun, I’ll catch up later.”

“Fine,” Hound pouted, “we’ll see you later then.”

Calico wished he’d just tell them, instead of making the others feel confused why he would shoo them away and refuse their help. However, he understood that Digger didn’t want the squad to think they were pushing him to work.

Digger waved, then went back in whistling a tune as he swiped the broom from the corner.

Calico sighed, looking up to the dark sky.

“Where to now?” Mutt asked.

“We could g-“

“Excuse you!”

Zombie went quiet, and they turned down a different street.

A Gotal gripped a girl’s arm tight, trying to pull her. She was in Mandalorian armor with her helmet clipped onto her belt.

“Make this nice and easy missy,” a Gotal threatened holding something at her. “Hand over your credits-“

“That’s literally a toy,” she pulled back, “let go of me!”

That’s our General.

Zombie ran at them, and sucker punched the Gotal in his face. It sent the civilian stumbling back, and he drop his fake blaster.

“Nice one!” Mutt ran in.

The Gotal scrambled to his feet, attempting to run.

“Where do you think you’re going, creep?” Hound began the chase.

Calico laughed as the three of them took off barking and snarling, like they were feral men. He approached Juliette, smiling at her warmly.

“Hi,” he held out his hand, “I’m Calico, it’s nice to meet you again.”

She paused, “again?”

****

Mutt was leading the charge, which was lucky for the Gotal. If Zombie was up in front, he’d show him how good his piledriver is.

The Gotal ran down some stairs, tripping as he disappeared into the crowd.

“Yeah, you better run!” Hound yelled, although it made no difference.

Zombie still scanned the crowd, huffing and puffing. Part of him still longed to get into a fight, his blood was pumping for some action they haven’t seen in weeks.

Mutt pat Hound’s back, “good job keeping up. How’s your leg?”

“Sore,” Hound panted, “also missing, but that’s old news.”

“This sucks,” Zombie groaned, leaning on the rail, “we haven’t had any real battles since the Grievous incident. The most action we had was when the General fell off the gunship on Umbara!”

“We’ll be back in action soon,” Mutt leaned on the rail, “for now, let’s enjoy the city.”

Hound frowned, “please don’t say we’re going to go hook up with strangers again.”

“Hound, live a little,” Mutt sighed, “we live fast and die young.”

“I know, but I rather be with one person every visit than someone new every time.” Hound shrugged. “Is that wrong?”

Zombie groaned, “it doesn’t work, Hound. Look at Digger.��

“First girlfriend cheats on him,” Mutt grumbled.

“Literally catches her screwing another brother from the 104th,” Zombie stated.

“Next girl accuses him of cheating,” Mutt rolled his eyes.

“He didn’t, he wouldn’t, and she still hit him in the head with an iron skillet,” Zombie growled.

“The next guy was good though,” Hound argued.

“True,” Zombie agreed. “But Digger was worried he’d hurt him like the other two, and broke up with the guy before he’d have the chance.”

“I looked him up,” Mutt said, “he’s dating a Corrie boy now.”

“I heard that too,” Zombie smiled. “Rumor has it Coyote set that up.”

“Really?” Mutt grinned, “our Corporal?”

Hound cleared his throat, “what about the next guy? They only went out twice.”

“And he told Digger that he didn’t like us,” Mutt stated. “And called Digger a play thing.”

“Rude.” Hound pouted.

“Still not sure what happened to his newest ex,” Zombie sighed. “They were so close to two months.”

Mutt frowned, “he’ll tell us when he’s ready. He always tells us.”

Hound glanced over his shoulder, “Calico didn’t come.”

“Probably charming the General,” Zombie joked, even though all of them knew Calico wasn’t interested.

Hound smirked, “you know, I don’t think we ever properly met the General.”

Zombie chuckled, “Digger is going to hate that he missed this.”

****

Zombie was sort of right.

When the three of them rounded the corner, they found Calico sitting on a bench with their General. She was smiling, talking with their snarky second in command as he fiddled with her hair.

It was just like Umbara, when they found her and he just couldn’t help but play with her hair.

“Hi,” Hound spoke first, she’s just a girl. What are these two just staring for?

Calico finished his braid, and she turned.

She smiled up at them, “so, you’re three of my other rescuers.”

Hound felt a smile pull on his lips, “we are!”

Look at how cute she is!

“You must be Hound,” she giggled, “Calico said you’re the smiley one.”

“That’s me!” Hound turned to Mutt, “she knows us.”

“Because Calico told her about us,” Mutt reminded him. “Put a cap on all that energy.”

“You’re Mutt,” Juliette stood up, “I love your tattoos.”

Mutt cracked a smirk, “thank you, General.”

“Juliette,” she corrected, “I prefer being called General only when we’re working.”

“Juliette,” Zombie mused, “that’s a pretty name.”

“Thank you, Zombie,” she turned to him, “I like yours too. Although it’s a bit morbid.”

“Nah,” he laughed, “means you can’t get rid of me. Shoot me down, I’ll get right back up.”

Calico got up, “well, now that we rescued you, the four of us can continue on with our night.”

He seriously wants to leave her?

“Come on,” Calico waved his hand. “Let’s go find our next cheap adventure.”

“But…” Hound grabbed Juliette’s arm, “can’t we stay with her?”

“She’s probably busy, vod,” Mutt pat his back, “a pleasure, Juliette.”

“Aw man,” Hound released her, “see you later, Juliette.”

Juliette hummed, then pretended to be sad, “that’s too bad. I’m going to a bakery to get some delicious pastries, and was really hoping to share them with some new friends.”

Hound looked to his squad, then back to her.

“Hound…” Mutt crossed his arm grinning.

“Will they have sprinkles?” Hound asked.

Zombie sidestepped closer to them, “and frosting?”

Juliette nodded smugly. She just met them, and she knew exactly how they operated.

Calico groaned, “fine.”

Hound fist pumped the air.

“We’ll pay you back,” Zombie assured.

“You rescued me twice,” Juliette spun on her heel, “consider this me paying off my debt to my rescuers.”

“Okay,” Calico shrugged, “if that’s what you want. Just know you’re stuck with us for life if you feed us.”

“Good,” she beamed, “because I plan to keep you for forever.”

That’s a long time, Hound felt himself glowing. I’d like to be around for forever then.

****

Digger is going to murder us.

Mutt warily ate his circular treat, listening to the others retell her about the events of Umbara and helping her piece that night together. She barely remembered being found by Digger, or Digger himself.

Juliette held up her necklace, “so, Digger was the one that returned my necklace then?”

“Yup,” Zombie licked his fingers, “he kept it safe for you and fixed that broken clasp.”

Juliette softly smiled, “I can’t believe he found it.”

Hound moved closer to her, “so, can I ask what the story behind that necklace is?”

She brushed his cheek, “it was given to me by Fang. He was my first love.”

They all got closer, as if snuggling in for a story.

Mutt knew it was silly, but he found himself moving in too. Getting close to her side and resting his cheek on her shoulder.

She sighed, “don’t judge me if I start crying.”

“We’d never,” Mutt said softly, followed by a chorus of agreeing hums.

****

Digger entered the barracks, and tiredly trudged to the back of the room to where Tunnel squad’s bunks were.

He looked at their empty bunks, perplexed as why they weren’t there yet.

He moved on, and stepped into the shower area. Bringing his fatigues with him, he shot a message to Calico.

He went to his usual stall near the back and began setting up. Stripping off heavy layers of armor, peeling the skintight body glove off his sticky skin, and turning on the water with the black under armor pulled down to his waist.

His comm beeped, and he picked it up reading the Aurebesh text.

He expected something like they went to a bar, they’re spending the night in someone’s home, or anything else.

“We’re in the Generals quarters. Come visit.”

He groaned, sniffing under his arm.

He’d been moving crates and fixing the broken machinery all night, and he smelt like it.

He simply wrote he couldn’t at the moment, and maybe after he washed up.

He stripped off the rest of his clothes, and got in the barely warm water, and lathering up on GAR issued body wash. He figured he could skip washing his hair tonight, and rushed through rinsing off the suds and towel drying.

He quickly began putting on his armor, struggling with the bodysuit against his damp skin.

Brushing his hair back with his hand, he exited the refreshers. That’s where his heart sank.

Hound was curled in his bunk with Mutt below him reading a novel that had to been read at least a dozen times. Zombie was already snoring in his bunk, arm over his eyes and leg dangling off the edge.

Calico exited the other side of the refreshers, already changed into his fatigues and ready for bed.

“I thought you guys would still be visiting her,” Digger whispered.

Calico crawled into his bunk, “she was tired, you can see her tomorrow.”

Digger tried to hide his disappointment as he went back to the refreshers to change into his fatigues.

It’s not fair, he thought to himself as he stripped down again. Everyone else met her. Everyone else is her friend. What do I got to do to spend five second with her? When do I get to see what the big fuss is? And why do I care so much?

#caribou stories #caribou ocs #star wars #star wars the clone wars #952nd #juliette trix #sergeant digger #hound #mutt #zombie #calico

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rootspiral · 1 year

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I’m gonna rank the Yellowjackets surviving adults from the most normal to the most unhinged based on how well they’re coping with trauma. Will try not to spoil the newest episode but no promises. It’s just the four main gals for now, I’ll add Lottie and possibly redacted when I get a better idea of who they are now.

In fourth place we have Natalie. On a scale from zero to, well, Shauna, Natalie definitely has had the most understandable reaction to going through hell: she became a lonely self-loathing addict with hyperfixations and rage issues. Back in the day Nat had such a strong moral compass, and she was most of all a very kind person. Even when she did something iffy, she did it out of love, fear or self-preservation, never malice though. All she ever wanted was to fix things. And sure she’s a wreck now, but that morality is still strong and that’s why she’s the only one who is actively trying (and failing) to face her past, and the guilt is eating her up inside. She’s the only one out of the group that I actually wish will get some sort of peace and closure in the end. (Also have you seen how 🤏 Juliette Lewis is?! If you don’t want to scoop up long-suffering, washed-up Nat in your arms and tell her everything’s gonna be okay I do not trust you.)

In third place there’s Misty, and please let is sit for a moment that Misty fucking Quigley isn’t in first place on the crazy scale. Did she even went through trauma, or was she just like that to begin with? Did she commit all those crimes because she’s evil, or because she’s the saddest, loneliest, most pathetic little wet rat? And what crimes, really? Some sabotaging, light stalking, poisoning, manipulating, disposing of a body, the occasional murder and recreational cannibalism? Poor wretched Misty, cursed to be rejected and ridiculed by the people she loves only because she happens to be a bit more passionate than average. Isn’t that punishment enough, I ask you? Maybe one day Nat will recognize her good qualities – she’s smart, handy in a crisis, she’s ride or die, she’s kind to animals unlike SOMEONE higher on this list! And then she’ll be finally accepted in the inner circle and live happily ever after. Maybe she’ll sacrifice herself and die in a blaze of glory. Maybe (probably) she’ll drown in a hole like the mangy little critter she is. But I can’t help rooting for her.

In second place we have Taissa! I’m SO fascinated by her. Because Tai is also a good person, or at the very least strives to be. She’s a natural leader, she’s always stepping up, making sure everything is fair and accounted for, she’s always pushing the others to be better. And yet there’s this rage inside her that scares her shitless, and we still don’t know what’s the deal with her past and the Man with No Eyes, but add that to all the shit that happened in the woods and you have an explosive trauma cocktail. Unlike Nat who no matter what will sit with her pain and consume or be consumed by it, Tai has taken all her ugly parts, cut them off and locked them in a dark box somewhere, letting them fester. And that might have worked for a while after they were rescued, but now that she’s going through some real stress and compromising her morality that darkness is just pouring out and chopping her up into bloody little pieces. Currently Taissa is a giant fucking mess and still it took dooming her marriage, traumatizing her child, beheading the family dog and hallucinating to the point she no longer knows what’s real – to even begin to admit that she miiiight not be in control. And so we have Shadow!Taissa, born of denial and shame and avoidance. And who is she? For now we only know that she doesn’t identify as Taissa at all, she is quite literally her antithesis, and that she embraces the supernatural darkness that Tai tries to rationalize. I have no idea how this is gonna go, the ideal outcome would be for the two halves to accept and embrace each other and form a whole person again. We’ll see.

In first place there’s ✨Ms. Shauna Sadecki✨, and I could just leave it at this. Because see, Misty isn’t unhinged, she’s quite predictable in her madness. Shauna is the proverbial horse loose in a hospital, we don’t have a fucking idea what she’s gonna do next and neither does she. Mark my words, we’ve just began to scratch the surface of what makes Shauna tick, and she’s just gonna get more and more deranged. Shauna who tries and tries and tries to be normal, in a house full of mementos of the best friend she betrayed and consumed, ignoring her, obsessed with her, haunted by her. With a kid she loves so much she hates her, or maybe she’s never been capable of loving, she can’t tell anymore. With a husband too good for her and too bland and stupid for her, who knows everything about her and yet doesn’t know her at all. Shauna chopping up rabbits, Shauna chopping up people, Shauna the butcher. The thrill of it all, the banality of it all. The darkness and bloodlust purring inside her, and she’s so close to letting go, to giving herself whole to it. Frankly what Shauna needs is going to jail and getting a LOT of therapy in the process. What I need though, is cannibal serial killer Shauna. I deserve cannibal serial killer Shauna. I want her unhinged, I want her to go on a rampage. Please, I’ve been so fucking good.

#Yellowjackets #Shauna Sadecki #Natalie Scatorccio #Taissa Turner #Misty Quigley #this is very serious and not serious at all

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thesecrimsonstrings-if · 3 years

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So, got a cutesy little ask that i can’t get out of my head. How would the RO’s react to one evening when they are hanging out with the Mc in their apartment they notice the Mc has been looking at them for a while now and when they ask why between laughs the Mc just looks at them fondly and says “ I’m sorry but I really don’t think i can handle seeing you go. Not again. Let’s go together this time, please.”

ronan bennett

his expression turns somber and he closes the book he'd been reading to give you his full attention. the room is bathed in a soft filtered light from the sun outside and there's a slight golden sheen to ronan's skin. perhaps it was just your mind playing trick on you, but he always did look like a sculpture bathed in gold.

you don't have much time to think about it when ronan kisses you, slow and deep. you feel his emotions slipping into you, probing your mind gently and filling your heart with warmth and a quiet reassurance.

when he pulls away, his eyes are closed and his words come in a hushed tone. “i'm sorry about it all. i can't even imagine how it must've been for you.”

“but it wasn't your fault, ronnie,” you tell him, taking his hand to rub the back of it gently with your thumb. “the plague didn't discriminate who it took, doctors and patients alike.”

“i know but,” ronan opens his eyes, “i just wish i hadn't left you alone. not like that, not ever.”

you nod with a smile. “what matters is that we're together now. and this time, i will go where you go.”

célia dupont

“mon amour,” she whispers, her hazel eyes shining with unshed years. “you still blame yourself, don't you?”

your breath hitches in your throat. she's right, but you also don't wish to admit it. admit that you spend every waking moment thinking of her, being reminded of the moment juliette slipped away from you. when even the bright flame of the pyre couldn't light up your world which got smothered in darkness.

célia knows what you're thinking about. it hurts her tremendously to see you still beating yourself up over the past. a past where she was loved so much that she'd accepted to rather die than be separated from you.

“i don't ever regret loving you,” she says, her touch on your face is tender as the soft breeze that blows from the open window. “it's not something i'd ever regret doing.”

“i–” you begin to speak but she kisses you before you can finish your sentence.

“whatever happens in the future, i promise to not let go. we've found each other again, we'll find each other a hundred times over.”

you think you might have fell for her all over again as she flashes you a smile that has your heart skipping its beats. this love is burning red which may or may not engulf you both in flames. but célia will be lying if she said she wouldn't like to take a chance. because she'd do it all over again, as long as it's for you.

s bakkoush

they quickly pause the cheesy romantic movie, turning to you worriedly. S doesn't say much at first, just wraps an arm around you and pulls you to them. the light from the TV emits a bluish tint which washes over the whole room.

“almost a century, huh?” the model finally breaks the silence. “you've waited for me for that long?”

you hum in confirmation. “it wasn't easy. i wasn't even sure if we'd meet again.”

“i don't even destiny could separate us,” S tries to joke. “our souls are too attached to the hip for that too happen.”

their hand holds yours and you move them so your fingers intertwine together.

“i won't let it happen again,” you repeat. “if you go, i'll follow. simple as that.”

you meet their worried emerald gaze with determination, as if telling them that even if they object, you're not budging this time. you can't go through it again. the rage, the grief, the heartbreak. your soul being ripped at the seams as you held A's lifeless body close to you.

“i'm not leaving,” S promises. “we've gotten another chance at this, right? we'll make the most of it.”

“together?” you ask, a slow smile spreading over your lips.

“together.”

i tachibana

their hand stops short of holding yours when they hear you that. there's a brief pause in which tachibana struggles on how they should response. it's something that the hunter had also thought about ever since you had told them about everything that had happened centuries ago.

“i'm not going this time,” they say, finally. their firm tone makes you almost believe that it's possible.

eventually you shake your head. “the universe always proves us wrong, dear hunter. let's not challenge it again.”

tachibana scoffs. “if you think i'm intimidated by fate, you're dead wrong. i don't know what trick the universe decides to pull, i'm not leaving you again, you understand?”

you stare at the for a moment, surprised at their outburst. slowly though, a smile takes over your face and you nod. tachibana wonders if there would be anything else that would ever come close to how radiant you looked that night. your face was a map of pain and anguish, they wished to hold it and smooth out every single one of those painful memories away.

“i can't change the past,” the hunter speaks again, pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead. “but i can promise you the future. and this time, you're really stuck with me for a lifetime.”

#asks #you ask for fluff #i give angst #well this wasn't that bad #as compared to some of my other scenarios #hurt/comfort my beloved #ro: ronan bennett #ro: célia dupont #ro: s bakkoush #ro: i tachibana #these crimson strings #ro scenarios #bonnie nonnie

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birdiesgolden · 2 years

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Hello! Here’s a dose of songs that remind me of Warner I promised ages ago, if you liked it there are more songs if anyone is interested.

Btw this will have spoilers!

BOYFRIEND - Dove Cameron

Basically this whole song reminds me of when Adam and Juliette were together. I don’t think there is specially one line but there are quite a few. “I don't need to tell you twice, All the ways he can't suffice, If I could give you some advice I would leave with me tonight”. “I could be a better boyfriend than him, I could do the shit that he never did”

KILLER SHANGRI-LAH - Psychotic Beats

I heard this on an advert for a tv show and was like ‘oh…yes’. I don’t really think I need an explanation, the song is just pretty badass so I felt the whole vibe was right. “I had to kill you, I’m really sorry”. “But you know what…ain’t nobody gonna change me”

HUNGER - Alibi Music

Literally the same reason for the song above. “I see you watching me with those eyes, I feel them watching me all the time”. “You’ve got secrets and I’ve got mine, but how do we know when to draw the line?”

I DID SOMETHING BAD - Taylor Swift

I felt like this also just fit, it reminded me of when he killed Seamus Fletcher because he had no regrets to it. “They say I did something bad. Then why’s it feel so good?” “Most fun I ever had, and I’d do it over and over and over again if I could”.

THE 30TH - Billie Eilish

I cried when I heard this song it broke my heart. But besides from this just being a masterpiece I felt like it related to Warner in the Believe Me novella when Juliette was thought to die on the plane back to Sanctuary. He was so scared to leave her alone in case anything happened to her because of the trauma of almost loosing her. I think because he wasn’t beside his mother when she died, he may hold some regret that she was alone. In the song, there are a lot of ‘what if…’ and I think it could shows Warner thinking of it happening and struggling to move on from it because of the paranoia of someone you love almost dying. “But I told you even then you looked so pretty. In your hospital bed”. “I remember you said you were scared. And so am I”.

SANCTUARY - Joji

It just felt like a warnette song and it’s just so adorable. I can just hear this playing in the background if shatter me was a movie cause they just love each other and deserve everything. “If you’ve been waiting for falling in love. Babe, you don’t have to wait on me" "Pull me oh so close, 'cause you never know just how long our lives will be" " 'Cause what you want is what I want, sincerity"

LIKE A ROLLING STONE - Bob Dylan

In Restore Me we were told that Warner was listening to this song on repeat and I understand why. It seams to relate to his life and how it has changed so much from Shatter me to Ignite me (and obviously keeps changing). I struggled to pick out chunks of this song to put in this list but if you listen to it then it will probably be clear. "How does it feel, how does it feel? To be without a home" "Nobody's ever taught you how to live out on the street. And now you're gonna have to get used to it" "You're invisible now, you've got no secrets to conceal"

HEATHENS - twenty one pilots

I felt like this fits into the first shatter me book theme but also other books too. I thought it related to Warner because he is often misunderstood by everyone around him as they do not know, nor understand what he has been through. He is both a tragic hero and anti-hero. (Did any of that make any sense?) "Please don't make any sudden moves. You don't know the half of the abuse" "You'll never know the murderer sitting next to you. You'll think, "How'd I get here, sitting next to you?""

FATHER'S SON - Celeste

This feels like this song relates to Anderson, Warner and Adam. Warner throughout the series is almost trying to tell us he isn't anything like his father despite there being characteristics that are the same. Overall there is one clear factor that makes them stand out from each other. Warners emotions. With Adam and Warner it felt like the lines could fit Ignite me and Restore me. It feels like Warner is trying to process how the can be brothers with similar (but different) backgrounds but turned out to be completely different types of people. it reminded me of when Warner told Juliette he admired Adam for his capability to turn out completely different to him despite receiving Andersons abuse. "I know you look at yourself like me. With the same eyes, we both see through to the end" "I heard it's in your blood, baby. I heard you got the same taste in your mouth" "Maybe I'm my father's son, maybe I'm my father's son. Or, I'm nothing like you, or, I'm nothing like you"

SEVEN - Taylor Swift

This song feels to me like it could almost be from Juliette pov of when she was a child. It felt like the memories of their childhood together in Defy me. it was revealed that Warner and his mother hid in the closet to get away from Anderson and Juliette suggested to live underwater (bby). "And I've been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why And I think you should come live with Me and we can be pirates Then you won't have to cry Or hide in the closet And just like a folk song Our love will be passed on"

HIGHER LOVE - Lilly Winwood & Steve Winwood

This song is just so cute and I could imagine it playing when Juliette confessed that she loved Warner in Ignite me. "Things look so bad everywhere. In this whole world, what is fair?" "Worlds are turning, and we're just hanging on. Facing our fear, and standing out there alone" "There must be someone who's feeling for me"

#just realising the long-ass descriptions for some then the really short ones for others #I liked doing this it was super fun - let me know if you want anymore #also I’m really sorry for the long time it took me to do this I wasn’t at home when I posted the ask then I kinda had surgery #by kinda I meant I did - sorry #warnette #aaron warner #juliette ferrars #shatter me #shatter me series

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somekidnamedkai · 3 years

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Some cool writing prompts

There’s 50 in total

Feel free to use these in your writings if you please or request me with one

Section A - Fluff

“One more hug?”

“You’re too adorable for that.”

“I. Love. You. You. Dumbass.”

“You can draw on me.”

“It’s cuddling hour.”

“It’s not illegal to kiss me, you know.”

“You can hold me while you read”

“Beautiful. Amazing. Perfect. There’s so many words to describe you.”

“Oh hey! It’s the love of my life!”

“Let me take care of you.”

Section B - Angst

“I thought you loved me.”

“No! Don’t kill them!”

“Don’t leave! You promised you’d never leave!”

“Look at you wilting like a dieing flower”

“Point the gun at me. What are you waiting for?”

“There’s so much blood. Too much blood.”

“Let’s do a play. I’ll be Brutus and you’ll be Caesar.”

“It’s not my fault!”

“Stabbing me would hurt less than this.”

“Dont kill her/him/them! Please!”

Section C - Random stuff

“It’s real life wack-a-mole!”

“How are you that good?!”

“It’s all in the crack.”

“At least I didn’t get caught railing her/him/them”

“Are you crazy? Actually. Don’t answer that”

“Do you want to bet on it?”

“Why are decorating?” “Because Holidays are fun.”

“We’re not gonna talk about what happened last night.”

“This’ll be interesting. I’ll make the popcorn!”

“And this has been going in for how long?”

Section D - AU Stuff

Coffee Shop AU (listen y’all- imagine an otp with it.)

Soulmate AU (you have a black mark that shows where you and your soulmate will touch for the first time)

Modern AU (for those non-modern fandoms/series)

Supernatural AU (the characters as werewolves, vampires, mermaids, and others!)

Genderbended AU (hehe. This one’s kinda obvious. They’re the other gender)

Hogwarts AU (im a nerd okayy)

Arranged Marriage AU (do they love each other? or do they love another they can’t be with?)

Romeo and Juliette AU (when you can’t be together so you form a secret and forbidden romance)

Another Soulmate AU?? (you see in only black and white until you meet your soulmate)

Fake Dating (L I S T E N. When you aren’t dating for real. While one fall for the other? Who knows)

Section E - More Angst

“Just tell me you don’t love me. That’ll hurt less.”

“Of course you’re leaving. That’s all you can do.”

“I was by myself for god knows how along.”

“You can’t just come back and expect to be forgiven.”

“You said you loved me! You liar!”

“Why would you cheat? Why?!”

“Stop bleeding! You’re gonna die!”

“I miss you so much. Please come back.”

“I’ll never forgive myself if you do this/that.”

“If this was real, you’d be hurting.”

#writing prompt #prompts #angst #fluff #aus #au #alternate universe #otp #angst prompt #fluff prompt #random prompt #angst prompts #fluff prompts #random prompts #writing prompts #writing #writer #random #au prompts

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flawedsoul13 · 3 years

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Some of my favourite quotes from Unravel Me

Time goes on even when we do not.

“Because if I lower my voice, I won’t be able to hear myself speak. And that,” he says, “is my favorite part.”

It’s the kind of kiss that makes you realize oxygen is overrated.

Because a quiet night is not the same as a silent one, a firm man is not the same as a steady one, and a bright light is not the same as a brilliant one...

Loneliness is a bitter, wretched companion. Sometimes it just won’t let go.

“You’re not the only person in this world who doesn’t want to get out of bed in the morning.

Sometimes I wonder about glue. No one ever stops to ask glue how it’s holding up. If it’s tired of sticking things together or worried about falling apart...

“And the world isn’t going to stop waging war against itself just because you broke up with your boyfriend.”

“But I really wish you wouldn’t waste your affections on someone who has to beg for your love.”

I don’t know what it is about sleep that makes our faces appear so soft and innocent, so peaceful and vulnerable...

What a lie appearances can be.

I don’t know why my heart is losing its mind.

Maybe it’s because he’s broken and I’m foolish enough to think I can fix him.

The books … they helped keep me from losing my mind altogether …”

hell is empty and all the devils are here...

“I know who I am,” he says. “That’s enough for me.”

And I wish my heart would just shut up shut up shut up shut up.

Nothing about him is manageable or easy to compartmentalize. He’s too much. Everything about him is too much. His emotions, his actions, his anger, his aggression. His love.

“I want to be the friend you fall hopelessly in love with.

“The one who will memorize the things you say as well as the shape of your lips when you say them. I want to know every curve, every freckle, every shiver of your body, Juliette—”

“I want to be your best friend in the entire world.”

his words a breathless, shaky whisper when he says “I’m so—I’m so desperately in love with you—”

He says “Please don’t shoot me for this.” And he kisses me.

The desperation in his expression, the anguish carved into his features, the way he looks at me, like he might die if I do.

#unravel me #shatter me #aaron warner #juliette ferrars #shatter me series #warner x juliette #aaron x ella #aaron x juliette #warnette #aaronella #adam kent #kenji kishimoto #kenji x nazeera #shatter me spoilers #warner #juliette

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goldenxchoices · 2 years

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Choices LIs

I've done something like this before, but it was nearly three years ago, so it's time for an update. (Plus, I saw this floating around, and I was bored, so why not?)

Books with a single LI: I tend to default to the female version of any customizable LI, especially on a first playthrough. I'll sometimes romance a male LI with a male MC, but I rarely do m/f romances. The exception is A Very Scandalous Proposal; I don't like the Ava sprites, so I almost always choose Simon instead.

In this category, I like Trystan Thorne, Kieran, Dakota Winchester, Simon Montjoy, Manu Nakeli, and Kit Jackson. I feel pretty neutral toward Cassian Keane, Clarke, and Jacqueline Monroe. I don't like Sam Dalton. And the entire book Surrender can kindly fuck off.

Across the Void: Gonna be honest, despite having read this through at least twice, I wouldn't be able to tell you a thing about the LIs or their personalities. I think I went for Titania my first playthrough - or was it Kepler?

America's Most Eligible: Jen's my favorite here, though I'd like to try a run where I dump someone for Bianca.

Baby Bump: Myra.

Bachelorette Party: Aisha.

Big Sky Country: I love Juliette dearly, but sometimes my Hallmark-loving brain kicks in and I have to pick Sawyer.

Blades of Light and Shadow: All four are amazing and I love them. I love my ladies the best, but I have a soft spot for Tyril as well. I'd love a big polycule here.

Bloodbound: Kamilah takes the top spot, but Lily's a close second.

A Courtesan of Rome: Sabina and Syphax are tied as my favorites, and I'm becoming more fond of Cassius the more I play. I'd like Antony to go away forever, please.

The Crown and the Flame: For Kenna, I alternate between Val and Annelyse. For Dom, I prefer Sei.

Desire and Decorum: Annabelle, always.

Distant Shores: I actually tend to go for Edward here, surprisingly. Almost always with a male MC, though.

The Elementalists: Shreya or Aster.

Endless Summer: I've tried all four. With female MCs, I tend to lean toward Quinn. With male MCs, I like Estela or Sean.

Foreign Affairs: Either Tatum or Ayna.

The Freshman: Becca is my queen. I also like Kaitlyn and Zig, but it's hard to pass up Becca's route.

The Haunting of Braidwood Manor: Eleanor. Is there even really a choice here?

The Heist: Monaco: Sonia. This is one of the few instances where a guaranteed female character is written as the "main" love interest, and she's amazing and I love her romance route.

Hero: Eva.

High School Story: Emma or Maria.

High School Story: Class Act: Skye.

Home for the Holidays: Holly.

Hot Couture: Luz.

Immortal Desires: Both. Both is good.

It Lives Beneath: Probably Imogen or Tom.

It Lives in the Woods: Andy or Ava.

Laws of Attraction: Aislinn.

LoveHacks: Ben.

Mother of the Year: I love all three equally. I literally cycle through them each time I play.

My Two First Loves: I went for Ava the first time, but I really love Noah as well.

Nightbound: Vera or Cal.

Open Heart: Jackie and Rafael are my favorites, but I think Bryce is awesome as well. I can't stand the other guy.

Passport to Romance: Um... Marisa, I suppose?

Perfect Match: Hayden, Sloane, and Alana. Though sometimes I'll go for the entire polycule, because I can.

Platinum: No strong preference here. Maybe Raleigh? Though I like Shane's vibes as well.

Queen B: Zoey, with a dose of flirting with Poppy.

Red Carpet Diaries: Teja, I guess, though the whole series is sort of meh for me.

Ride or Die: Probably Mona's at the top, though I have enjoyed doing Colt and Logan runs before.

Rising Tides: No preference. Honestly, I don't even remember who I chose the first time.

The Royal Masquerade: Kayden. Mostly because of the looks thing, honestly.

The Royal Romance: Hana. Though if I could choose Olivia, I'd be all over that.

Rules of Engagement: Dean for the MC, and Mira for the Party Twin.

Save the Date: Lindsay or Simon.

Slow Burn: Still playing for the first time, but so far I think I prefer Julia.

Sunkissed: Eliana.

The Unexpected Heiress: Gemma.

Veil of Secrets: Kate and Naomi.

Wishful Thinking: Jaime.

Wolf Bride: Morgan. Go away, wolf dude.

#playchoices #gw.text #can you tell that i'm gay #i do try the male romances more than i used to #but i still love me some choices ladies

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sirikenobi12 · 3 years

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This Capt' goes down with her Ship

I’m honestly amazed at how many messages I receive both here and on Twitter that ask me why I ship Obi-Wan with Siri Tachi over Satine Kryze. I guess I’m mostly amazed because I can’t believe people actually care enough to take the time to message me about my character preferences, that’s just really fascinating to me.

But, since I’m getting tired of writing this out in individual messages I thought perhaps a blog would be a good idea so that way I can just reference/link them to it later - it’ll be much easier. So, bear with me while I get a little self indulgent (and Satine stans please don’t come at me, I will explain below how I really have nothing against Obitine).

This is going to be really long, and I’m not expecting anyone to actually read this, but here we go!

I’ll begin by answering questions that are sitting in my inbox:

1. Who the hell is Siri Tachi?? For those who don’t know the character of Siri Tachi, she was a female Jedi who was two years younger than Obi-Wan. She was originally from the Legends young reader book series Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest (written by Jude Watson). She was in many of the same Padawan classes as Obi-Wan even though she was two years his junior because of her advanced skills. She could hold her own against him in a lightsaber duel even as they grew up. She was chosen as an apprentice to Jedi Council Member Adi Gallia at age 11 which was very impressive given how young she was and the fact that a Council Member chose her.

(I don’t know why she looks like Brittany Spears in this drawing, not my fave)

She did have a hard time fitting in with her peers when she was younger though because she was so focused on her career as a Jedi which didn’t always make her the friendliest person to be around (it was really her masking her insecurities) and it was only after she was paired on several missions with Obi-Wan that they even became friends.

She and Obi-Wan over the years grew very close and eventually discovered their feelings had crossed the line from friends to something more while on a mission when they were older Padawans (Obi was 18). They had been separated from their masters and nearly died while on that mission. So, before they “died” they each confessed their love to the other, but when it turned out they didn’t actually die they decided they’d wait and figure out what their relationship actually meant once the mission was over - putting duty above their feelings. But Qui-Gon and Yoda intervene before the two of them could have the conversation and the Masters reminded Obi-Wan of his dedication to the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan argued that he and Siri would be able to find a way to be together while still being active Jedi, that maybe they could be an exception to the rule or even change the rule entirely. Both he and Siri did end up choosing their commitment to the Jedi over their relationship in the end, because each of them realized they’d regret not being Jedi more than anything, but it did put a strain on their friendship for many years.

At 23 Siri was secretly knighted and her first solo mission was sent undercover to infiltrate and take down a huge pirate slaver operation and she spent 4 years on that mission, all on her own with limited communication with the Council.

In order to do this she had to pretend to have a falling out with her Master and “leave” the Order entirely, everyone thought she had fallen to the dark side. Obi-Wan was devastated, and he spent several months looking for her because he refused to believe she’d actually fall. It was also clear that he was heartbroken that she left, especially knowing what they had given up in order to be Jedi. Upon ending the mission she returned to the Jedi and was then often sent on other undercover missions throughout the rest of her career (including one where she and Obi-Wan had to play a royal married couple which was super cute). Her actually being a Jedi Shadow is not official and is a fanfiction creation - but, it’s one that I 100% headcanon because it just makes sense.

Siri was very different when she returned from her long undercover mission, she had lived as a pirate for 4 years and so she was not as uptight and rule bound as she had been in her youth. She began to wear tight unisuits/flight suits instead of the traditional Jedi tunics and she had grown to be a bit more irreverent - even showing up late to Jedi Council summons. Obi-Wan didn’t seem to mind the change and the two became a formidable pair as Knights and they were sent together (with their Padawans who hated one another) on several missions.

Obi-Wan and Siri were always written as being equals, never one more powerful than the other. They often shared flirtatious banter (nothing new for Obi-Wan) and they seemed very much in sync on missions that it was clear they shared some kind of bond. They never seemed to let their failed romance stand between them and their duty, and only brought it up once more as adults to admit that they still loved each other, but were content to just be friends because it would be selfish of them to turn their backs on the Jedi simply for their love. Then upon Siri’s untimely death (she of course died in his arms) she told him that she’d always be with him. And he nearly fell to the dark side due to his anger, but stopped himself from killing the man who was responsible for Siri’s death because he knew she’d not want him to fall because of her.

In canon there isn’t much about her (yet), except that Siri is said to be the girl Obi-Wan would hold hands with under the table during mid-day meals which suggests that they had a bit of a secret affair/flirtation for many years.

2. Why don’t you like Satine? This is a bit of a loaded question because even though I tend to write fics centered more on Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the character of Satine or that I don’t swoon over their relationship from time to time thanks to some very well written fics ( @mahizli I’m looking your way). I just tend to write Siri more than Satine because I can relate to Siri more as a character, but in truth I also feel Siri and Obi-Wan’s relationship is a bit more well rounded than his and Satine’s

*ducks to avoid things being thrown at her*.

Satine and Obi-Wan have a beautiful love story, don’t get me wrong. But for me personally I am a little sick of the Romeo & Juliette/star crossed lovers angle. And that’s totally what they are - She’s a Mandalorian, He’s a Jedi, it’s a forbidden love not just because of his code, but because their “families” were mortal enemies. And I guess I’m just not super inspired by it. Not to mention that they met as children (apparently only 15 years old according to canon), confessed their undying love for one another after a year of knowing one another in a life or death situation and then pined for each other for the next 20 years until they were reunited...I just have a very hard time finding this story relatable (and hate to say it, plausible). Not that they couldn’t have felt love for one another as teenagers (especially in that situation), but that they still felt that same level of love 20 years later without ever seeing one another...at least with Siri they still had to interact with one another on a regular basis so it would be harder to push those feelings aside.

The other reason I have a hard time writing Satine and Obi-Wan is because the romantic love they seem to have in TCW is written to be very one sided in my opinion. While Obi-Wan clearly cares for her, and admits to having feelings for her at one time it’s only ever Satine who actually seems to want something with him in the current sense. Which honestly makes their relationship feels a bit cringy to me, it doesn’t feel like it’s on equal footing - and makes it seem like Satine is a bit obsessive (I don’t blame her, it is Obi-Wan after all). This is a similar argument I have about Padme’s character, I feel like we’re presented with these incredibly strong women characters who for whatever reason still fall apart when it comes to love...I think it’s a reflection of men trying to write women and it ends up being a bit of a fantasy (the sexy/badass woman who secretly needs a man to save her). So, to sum up - I really do love Satine’s character outside of her relationship with Obi-Wan.

Again, this is just MY interpretation of Satine and Obi-Wan’s relationship...I get other people tend to feel very differently and that’s wonderful!!

I will say, the thing I do like about Obi-Wan and Satine’s relationship and very much appreciate is how it is an opposite parallel to Anakin and Padme’s relationship. And it shows what a Jedi should’ve done - how you can’t have both a commitment to the Jedi Order and a marriage, but you can still care deeply about another person. I do very much appreciate that aspect of their relationship and it’s very well done from that perspective.

3. So, why SiriWan after all these years? Well, I’m drawn to Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship for several reasons, but mostly because they are written as equals/partners (as I had mentioned above), both have moments where you can see the love they hold for one another - their feelings are very much shared and not one sided, but above all it’s not the main defining factor of their relationship. They are Jedi and friends before anything else, and I love that! It may not be as flashy or maybe even as passionate as say Satine or Cody but to me it’s more full and well rounded. I can also see their relationship growing and changing over the years, they aren’t stuck in one place or in the past.

I also tend to find the Jedi culture more fascinating than the Mandalorians. I know, I know, I’m a heretic. That’s not to say, again that I don’t think Satine on her own isn’t fascinating, I just am a little tired of Mandalore’s importance in virtually every aspect of Star Wars these days and I feel like there is only so much you can do with Obi-Wan having feelings for a Mandalorian, where as him navigating a relationship with another Jedi is more interesting. The Jedi are allowed to be intimate with people, contrary to popular belief they are allowed to love, they just can’t become possessive/attached - I feel like two Jedi would have an easier time navigating that than someone who wasn’t raised with that same code. I think Siri and Obi-Wan have more opportunities to have a more realistic and adult relationship and I like writing/exploring that.

The other thing I like about Siri and Obi-Wan specifically is the fact that neither ever really considered leaving the Order for the other. They knew how important being a Jedi was to the other, and I think having a love interest that Obi-Wan didn’t consider leaving for is an important distinction.

Instead he thought they would be able to change the rules/code because he assumed it would be obvious that their love was pure and not an attachment. Now, obviously they both realized later that it was just foolish/young love talking (because I’m sure teenagers have to be extra careful of forming attachments), but what I really adore the concept that Obi-Wan “by the code” Kenobi had loved Siri so much that he’d even remotely consider the idea that he’d want the rules to change for her/them (and Siri “by the code” Tachi felt the same about him). There is something incredibly romantic about that - naïve, but romantic.

I also believe that romantic love doesn’t automatically equal “true love”. I personally feel that Obi-Wan and Siri have a love that is on such a deep level that their relationship doesn’t always have to be romantic. They simply just love one another, in whatever form that takes at any given period in time throughout their lives, sometimes it takes the form of just friends, sometimes lovers, sometimes romantic. And I wish we saw more relationships like that in various media. But I get why we don’t, they are harder to write and less overtly sexy/dramatic.

Also, when someone says the phrase:

“Forgive me if I still think I know you better than anyone.” (Siri)

And it’s followed immediately with:

“You do” (Obi-Wan)

My heart just melts, because that to me is love!!

4. So, you actually think Obi-Wan loved both Siri & Satine? Yes, I do...100%. I think they all loved other people at different points in their lives. I personally feel that most of Obi-Wan’s various ships (with exceptions of Master/Padawan ships...sorry, just not my bag) actually happened. I could see a young Obi-Wan having a fling with Quinlan Vos (I doubt they could handle more than that), I could definitely see him have an attraction/affection towards Cody (I don’t think given the power dynamic Obi-Wan would ever allow anything to actually happen between them though), I even believe he and Ventress had a rather confusing and passionate night together (maybe even more than one), I can see him easily having a relationship at one point with Taria Damsin (to which Siri would give him endless crap about because he seems to have a thing for Jedi Shadows). I’m sure he even had a relationship with Annileen on Tatooine to help find some comfort during his exile. To me all of that makes so much more sense than him (and Satine) pining away for one another for 20+ years.

Allowing Obi-Wan to have multiple loves in his life also helps showcase the idea of non-attachment. It’s not that Jedi promote promiscuity - though they won’t judge anyone for it (I see the Jedi very much in the mindset of: it’s your body/your choice) it’s that the idea of attachment means possessing someone, thinking you own someone and also putting that person’s value over others. The idea that Obi-Wan could find love and value in a multitude of lovers to me shows him capable of loving without attachment - He is able to let these people go when the relationship has run its course...it’s very healthy.

Not to mention that realistically people tend to have multiple relationships and loves throughout their lives. To only ever love one person is incredibly unrealistic, unhealthy and frankly screams attachment to me *cough Anakin, cough*.

In conclusion: If you’re still reading this (did you not have anything better to do with your time???) I do hope you have a bit more of an understanding why I personally like to write Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship instead of his and Satine’s. Though if you read my fics (thank you if you do) I hope you realize that I try to not make the stories all about their relationship - yes, it pops up here and there, but I try not to make it the focal point. I believe both Obi-Wan and Siri are so much more than just a romance and that’s what I really love writing.

But I raise a glass and toast all of those who prefer to ship Obitine or CodyWan or Ventrobi (or whatever Obi-Wan and Quilan’s ship name is) - I love reading your take on those relationships and I hope you don’t mind if an old SiriWan shipper joins the fun!

Phew, rant over...man, does anyone else have to defend their OTP preferences to strangers?? It’s just so odd to me!

Thanks for reading, and if you’re a Siri, Obi-Wan or SiriWan fan drop me a line - I can seriously talk about them for hours!

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #sw meta #long rant #long post #sorry yall #my otp for life #siri tachi #obi wan kenobi #satine kryze #siriwan #obi wan x siri #why do people care who I ship?#jedi culture #jedi apprentice #jedi quest

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arielovessims · 3 years

Text

The New Heiress Chapter 3, Part 6

TRIGGER WARNING: Death scene

“Nothing can bring families together like a newborn baby, isn’t it?”

“Yes. I can’t help but think of Juliette. This is what she’s always wanted. Now we’re here, and she’s not.”

“I’m sure wherever she is, she’s very happy right now to see us like this. Romeo, too.”

“It still feels unreal sometimes. Just think how brutal this feud used to be. And now… we’re all family.”

“And we have you young ones to thank for that. Kent and I back then… we didn’t have as much courage or power as your generation does.”

“Oh no, if we didn’t have your support, we probably wouldn’t be here today.”

“Bianca, your mother and I are going home to rest, and Antonio needs to return to the restaurant. You stay here with the twins. Your husband is looking after your kids?”

“Okay, Pappa. Yes, he is. Take care.”

“Bottom? Bottom…”

“What is it, Mona?”

“Bottom… can you please get my mom?”

“But she’s not… Mona, what’s wrong?”

“My head hurts so much… please, I need her.”

“Mr. Capp! It’s Desdemona, she’s… she’s…”

“Bottom, what’s happening? Is she awake?”

“I… she says her head hurts… and she’s crying and asking for her mother again…”

“I’m calling an ambulance now.”

“Oh, dear God.”

“Mom! Where are you, Mom? Please, I want my mom…”

“Sweetheart, Daddy’s here. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Daddy? My head hurts so much. Please make it stop!”

“What’s going on? I thought she’s fine!”

“Honey, we’ve called an ambulance. We have to get you to the hospital. I need you to stay strong, okay?”

“But it hurts so much, Daddy. I can’t take it. I don’t want to die.”

“You’re not going to die, my darling. We’re getting help. And you’ll get better. You won’t be afraid of the doctors now, would you?”

“I want Mommy, please. AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

“Kent, where’s the ambulance?”

“They’re on their way. I told them to hurry as fast as they could. Oh, please hold on, Mona.”

“Kent? Can I talk to you outside?”

“Before she gave birth, how was Desdemona? How was her mental state? Was she herself?”

“She seemed normal enough, except… she kept asking for her mother. Even said she saw her yesterday. All the other signs were just common pregnancy symptoms like her constant headaches.”

“Oh no, Kent. This looks like eclampsia. She should’ve been brought to the hospital before giving birth. It’s fatal.”

“Well, the ambulance is coming. It’s not too late.”

“No, Kent. I’m sorry… I’m afraid it might be too late…”

“Ugh! Mom!”

“Don’t you dare die, Mona! Don’t you dare!”

“My love, please don’t leave me. I can’t live without you. Please, my love.”

“Ben? Ben... I love you... I’m... sorry...”

“No, please don’t say that. Please stay with me. I need you. Please don’t go. Stay with me.”

“Tell Emilia... I love her...”

“Dad, she can’t breathe! DAD, DO SOMETHING!”

“Darling, please breathe. Please fight. Just a little more and help will come. We need you here. Your baby needs you. Don’t give up just yet. I’m so sorry for my mistakes. Please give me a chance to make it up to you. Please. I need you.”

“Desdemona? Can you hear me?”

“Screw Landgraab! My daughter almost died today. He can’t expect me to talk business with him over brunch right now. I have to take care of my child!”

“But Albany can take care of her. Landgraab says if you won’t meet him today, he won’t sign the deal and he won’t reschedule.”

“Screw the deal! My daughter is more important.”

“I want to be the one to take care of Desdemona. I rarely get to spend time with my kids. I need to do this and make sure she’s okay.”

“…I’m her mother. I won’t be able to forgive myself if something happens to her and I’m not there.”

“Of course. You are right. I’ll try to talk to him.”

“And as for that doctor… I’ll make sure he never works again.”

“Am I going to die, Mommy?”

“No, my darling. As long as Mommy’s here, you will be safe. I promise you.”

“I thought doctors are supposed to make me feel better. Why did he make me more sick? It hurt so much, Mommy. I don’t want to go back to the hospital ever again.”

“I know. That’s why he’s going to pay for what he did to you.”

“Are you going back to work tomorrow?”

“No, baby. I will stay with you until you get better.”

“That makes me feel so much better now.”

“Mom?”

“You called for me, darling. I couldn’t not come to you.”

“Mom… I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, my love. I’m here now.”

“Nothing can hurt you anymore.”

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comm-caribou · 2 years

Note

'' i can't bounce back into a relationship— ''

Juliette and Digger?

I’m going to consider this a sequel to this piece I wrote, and kind of a first draft to a future chapter

————

Fang chopped vegetables with the expertise of a real chef, and swiped the ingredients into the pot so smoothly.

He then smiled to her, “so, I’ve been thinking.”

“Such a dangerous pastime in of yours,” Juliette had teased.

“Funny girl.”

Fang walked around the counter to her barstool. She barely did more than a few lines on her page, her attention was drawn more to him than her own sketches. He leaned down, placing a kiss on her forehead before his lips started moving but no words came out.

Juliette tried to hear him but she couldn’t remember what he said that day. Maybe it was about dinner, or an idea for a date. The piece was missing in her mind.

Her memories of Fang weren’t as clear as they use to be.

How long ago was that? It feels like it was only a week ago, Juliette stroked Grizzer’s scaly head that was resting in her lap. Sergeant Hound had worked his massiff out into a tired, panting mess.

She heard a few men had entered the compound. Other ARFs acting like goofs it sounded like, talking about ice cream and teasing Hound. She didn’t turn around, she just wanted to enjoy having Grizzer’s company.

However, she felt a presence behind her. Just lingering over her shoulder, waiting.

She peered behind her, then followed the dirt stained armor up to Sergeant Digger looking down at her.

It was a haunting reminder that Fang did in fact die way longer than a week ago, because this ARF in particular rescued her two weeks ago.

“May I sit with you?” He asked smiling warmly.

“Of course,” she said, even though she wanted to be alone.

Digger sat down beside her, holding a white cup, “I didn’t know you were here, otherwise I would’ve brought you some. You’re welcome to share mine.”

She glanced over, strawberry ice cream. My favorite.

“It’s okay,” Juliette returned her gaze back to Grizzer, “I’m fine.”

“Then… why do you look so sad?” Digger asked, “I don’t mean to pry, but… I care about you.”

She bit her lip, why does he have to be so sweet? Why can’t he be a jerk or dismissive? Why does he notice me?

Digger’s fingers brushed under her eye, “please don’t cry.”

“Am I?” She touched her face. “I didn’t realize I was.”

Digger scooted closer, “Angel, you can talk to me. I want to understand you.”

She glanced over her shoulder, checking for the other ARFs hoping one of them would swoop in and interfere. She could use someone to jump into the conversation.

Where’s Boomerang when I need him?

“Angel?“ Digger turned her gaze to him, “talk to me, please? Let me in.”

“I can’t. I can’t do this,” she felt her chest tightening, “I can’t let you in because if I do you’ll decide I’m too hung up on my dead boyfriend or you’ll end up dead and I can’t even remember half of things Fang and I talked about and… and…”

Her throat burned and she couldn’t breathe. Despite knowing she was in an open space, she felt like she was being trapped inside a small box and no matter how small she made herself, she’d be crushed regardless.

“Juliette, look into my eyes,” he squeezed her hands grounding her again.

Why do you have to be so good?

“I can’t do this. I can’t bounce back into a relationship—“

“I understand.”

“Fang died. I said I love him and he died. I can’t just get back into a relationship after that.”

“I know.”

She lowered her head crying.

“I’ll wait for you.”

The words rung in her ears, and she raised her gaze perplexed.

“I’ll wait for you, Angel. You’re worth waiting for.”

“But… what if you have to wait a long time?”

“Like I said, you’re worth waiting for.”

#caribou speaks #caribou ocs #star wars #star wars the clone wars #juliette trix #sergeant digger

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mysoftboybensolo · 3 years

Text

The Alienist and the Soprano

Chapter 7: The Truth

A/N: This was inspired by Laszlo’s love of opera and my thought on what if he fell for an opera singer. Multi chapter. Canon divergence, there is no Mary Palmer here (I loved Mary and Laszlo, so I don’t feel like I could have her here and have him be with another woman). A mix of show and book canons. No Y/N, OC named Evelina Lind.

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32029150

Pairing: Laszlo Kreizler x Fem OC!

Summary: The last thing Laszlo Kreizler ever expected while investigating the death of children was to fall in love, and with an opera singer no less!

Warnings: Age gap, mentions of childhood bullying, death of a teen, mentions attempt of relative sexual abuse.

Sleep didn’t come easy to Evelina, but she managed to sleep long enough and with the help of extra strong coffee, though she grimaced her way through it, Evelina felt ready to start rehearsals. Well, except for one thing.

“Sara?” Evelina came down the stairs, finding Sara at her typewriter. “Sara, have you seen my handkerchief?”

“Which one is it?” she asked without looking up from her typewriter.

“It’s white with lace edging and embroidered on it is a blue bird.”

“I’m afraid not dear,” she said, then paused and looked back. “Ask Tessie. Perhaps she found it while cleaning and thought to wash it.”

“Perhaps, thank you!”

But no, Tessie hadn’t seen it either. Oh well, Evelina thinks, I know it must be around here somewhere. And besides, she had to hurry to the opera house for rehearsals. Gounod’s Roméo et Juliette was the next show she would be in, as the titular Juliette, and for the first week of rehearsals, she kept thinking about the incident at her old place. She hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary since that day and there were no other attempts made, so perhaps it was just some random pervert who decided that he would take her knickers just because he could.

She felt like she could breathe at last when she saw John come to her during rehearsals with a smile on his face. “Evelina! It’s done, the murderer has been caught!”

“Oh, John, I am so glad. I bet it must be a huge sigh of relief for you all.”

“We’re having a little celebration tonight and we would like you to join us.”

“Me? But I didn’t do anything to help the case.”

“But you did offer moral support and helped organize to help us this past week,” John said, trying to reason the decision, “And even so, we all consider you a dear friend. Please, Sara and I would love to have you, as would Laszlo,” he finishes with a slight tease in his voice.

She blushed then bit her lip. “Well, I suppose if I am not intruding.”

“Not at all. Get the details from Sara, for I must run, and you must get back to work.” John gave a quick kiss to her hand and hurried off.

Evelina smiled, excited about the upcoming night, though some thought it was for another reason. “Well,” Maria said after sneaking into Evelina’s dressing room after rehearsals, “Mr. Moore looked quite happy to see you.”

“He was happy because they caught the murderer. Tonight, they all are celebrating and asked me to come along.”

“Mr. Moore is quite a handsome man. He doesn’t really come around here, doesn’t like opera they say, but he certain has come more for you.”

“Idiot,” Evelina said, affectionately, “He is not interested in me. Whether he knows it or not, he is in love with someone else. And even if he did feel anything of the kind towards me, I couldn’t accept him.”

“Why? He’s well off, handsome, not pretentious. Why couldn’t you-oh, wait a minute!” Maria moves closer to sit by Evelina, feeling smug, “Of course! You have a lover!”

Evelina looked over at Maria, her cheeks burning. “No, no, but…I do have feelings for someone.”

Maria gasped and was all giddy. “Who? Tell me, oh please!”

“No,” she said firmly, “I don’t want to risk it. It could be bad luck if I say who when it’s not even official.”

“Oh, alright,” Maria teased back, but then asked, “Does he know how you feel?”

“Not yet. It’s difficult sometimes to tell. There are moments I think he must feel the same, for all the times he’s allowed me to visit him, the way we talk about nearly everything, and his smiles that he offers. But there are times, he turns from me, is stiff as a board and almost seem distant. At times, I wonder if he is just humoring me, or if he only thinks of me as a friend. I wish I knew.”

Maria placed her hands on Evelina’s shoulders, making her turn to look at her. “You know what I think? I think that tonight, you should tell him. Tell him how you feel and let it all be settled. Even if the answer isn’t what you’d hope for, at least you’ll know, rather than torturing yourself with not knowing. But you must take that risk. Understand?”

Evelina sighed then nodded. Maria was right, she should just come out with it and ask the doctor what his feelings for her are. As soon as she returned home, she worked on how to go about this; should she just outright ask him what is going on between them or should she try to build up to it and ease into the subject? Sara said that the restaurant they were going to has a ballroom and a beautiful garden, which gave Evelina ideas of possibly getting Laszlo alone to ask him.

Evening came and Sara looked ravishing in a red and gold satin gown, while Evelina wore a lavender gown with lace, and both felt that tonight they had looked their finest. The pair arrived seeing the Isaacson Brothers with John, but Laszlo wasn’t anywhere.

“Good evening gentlemen, congratulations on solving the case!” Evelina spoke, feeling relief to say those words.

“Thank you. Of course, you’d always want to catch them before too many die, but at least we know no one else will get hurt because of him,” Lucius said.

“Too right. We are sorry if we are late,” Sara spoke.

“Nonsense. We are early, surprisingly. Laszlo wanted to make sure everything was prepared before you ladies came.”

And right on cue, Laszlo stepped out of the building, announcing that everything was ready. Laszlo smiled at Sara but his froze when he saw Evelina. She looked lovely, as always but it seemed no matter how many times he’d see her, his heart would stop at her beauty, and the lavender seemed to make her eyes stand out even more, which almost seemed to shine when she saw him.

“Well, I think we ought to go in,” John said, “Marcus and Lucius, if you please,” gesturing for them to go in, “I’ll take Sara and Laszlo you with Evelina. Paired up rather nicely, don’t you think?” He gave a quick wink to Laszlo, which made the good doctor blush, but nevertheless, he escorted Evelina in and at the table, the pair were seated next to each other, making it even cozier, as John put it.

The dinner went beautifully, everyone ate, drank and were merry, even the stoic Laszlo, who smiled more than Evelina had ever seen him smile, and it was a beautiful sight. Oh God, how she loved him. She didn’t care if anyone could see the adoration in her eyes as she stared at him or hear the tenderness in her voice as she spoke to him, she wasn’t going to be ashamed of her feelings, and no doubt the wine helped to make her bold.

With dinner done, John had asked Sara for a dance, and Evelina tried to help Lucius gain the courage to dance as she noticed a young lady stare at him, but he blushed and nervously smiled, saying that he might later. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I need to take a turn about the room, I think it’ll help clear my head a bit.”

“Laszlo, why don’t you go with her? It might do you good too,” Marcus suggested, but it didn’t escape either of them the lightness in his voice and smirk, as if he had a plan coming to fruition at last.

Taking his suggestion, Laszlo and Evelina took a walk around the ballroom, staring at the dancers. “John and Sara look wonderful out there.”

“Do you like dancing?”

“I do. But it’s all dependent upon the partner. I’d rather sit off to the side with an interesting person than dance with an insufferable one.”

“I never do well at events like this. Dancing and socializing has never been one of my better skills but John suggested coming here, at least the food is good.”

“And the company?”

“Oh, the company is always good when you are around.” Laszlo realized that he just said that and felt his face grow warm, but didn’t dare look at his young companion, and didn’t see the grin on her face.

A man around Laszlo’s age suddenly popped up in front of them, clearly enjoying himself too much and loudly made his appearance know to all. “Laszlo! It’s been so long, how are you?”

“I am well, thank you Tobias.” It was evident that Laszlo was uncomfortable with his presence, evident except to said presence. Laszlo quickly introduced the man to Evelina, as if it was a chore to do so.

“The singer!” he said, laughing. “Well, never expected you to be in such company,” he elbowed Laszlo in his rib, which must have been too rough for it made Laszlo wince and rub the spot.

“What do you mean sir?” Evelina asked, feeling as if he meant to insult her.

“Well, you see miss, when Las and I were kids, I used to pull so many pranks on him,” he laughed, “Getting him to do tasks he couldn’t do with his right arm, got the other boys to whack him with sticks and stones,” he bent over laughing in remembrance, “But the best one was the rumors we spread to freak the girls out.”

“’Freak the girls out’?” she repeated, dumbfounded.

“You see, if we wanted to make a girl to be truly be horrified, we’d tell them that Las had a crush on them.” His laughter roared, making a few people look over at them. “How you should have seen them quickly grow disgusted by the idea. Lame Las having a crush on them, it was worse than an entire bucket of dirt and worms!”

Evelina peered over to Laszlo, who looked absolutely crushed at the resurgence of the memories and her heart broke for him. “If you’ll excuse me,” he murmured, quickly getting away to step out in the gardens, meaning he slipped from Evelina’s grasp.

“Ah, yes, Las could certainly repel any woman and seems to do so still. You look like you could enjoy a dance, may I?” He tried to wrap his arms around her, but she sharply retraced from his embrace.

“Sir, your brand of humor is cruel and your manners are abhorrent. You utterly repel me, and I’d rather eat an entire bucket of dirt and worms than spend another second in your presence.” And with that, she stormed off, following Laszlo outside. At first, she couldn’t find him, but as she turned the corner, she saw that he was staring at the fountain, glistening in the moonlight. Carefully, she approached him. “Are you alright?”

He spoke not for a while, but then suddenly, low and hoarse said, “Tobias was one of the many who made my childhood unbearable. But now you see, when I had once said that I would never have a family, what I had meant. I have always been undesirable to the sex of women. My secret is out.” He turned his head slightly, his hand brushing against his eyes and she knew he was wiping his tears.

A new song began to play and Evelina asked, “Will you dance with me, Laszlo?”

“I fear I am not a good partner, besides, you should be ashamed to be seen with me.”

“Who is around to see?”

Laszlo looked at her, her eyes tender and kind, he looked around and indeed she was right, they were alone. Perhaps it was because he was in a vulnerable state that he decided to concede to her request or because he knew her intentions were good and pure, so when his weak hand rested on the small of her back, it caused a frightful stir in his heart.

A sigh too soft for him to take note from her lips as he touched her, Evelina felt as if she would melt into his arms as he took her hand and together, they moved to the soft melody. It wasn’t perfect, due to his lack of practice and uncertainty, but she would not have it any other way. Just being near him was enough. Between the glow of the moonlight and the chandeliers, and the gorgeous scenery, one would think this was a picture from a romance novel, preciously the moment when two characters realize they were in love.

The problem was, they were already in love, and long knew it, but neither felt brave enough to say it.

The song ended but neither seemed to stop until they heard applause, making them chuckle and blush, but not yet release their hold on the other. “Um, would you like a drink? I can get us some champagne.” Evelina nodded, and watched as he walked away, sighing. When he comes back, then will be the perfect moment for Evelina to ask Laszlo, to confess her feelings, but something from the dark changed the mood immediately.

A sudden scream sent a shiver up Laszlo’s spine and when he turned to the source, he saw Evelina, running towards the ballroom, her hands over her mouth and broken sobs. He ran over to her, not caring if he pushed people away, and instinctively, she buried herself into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her as if to protect her from some invisible source.

“What happened?” John asked deeply concerned, with Sara right beside him.

“I don’t know,” Laszlo said, then decided, “We need to get her out of here.”

Lucius and Marcus hurried off to call for a carriage as Laszlo, John and Sara helped to get her away. “Forgive us,” John politely excused themselves, as people stared, “She just had a little scare.”

They all managed to fit into a carriage, going to the closest place, which was Sara’s house. Laszlo did not let go of his hold on Evelina, and she did not lift her head at all from his chest, finding solace in the rhythm of his heart. Once settled in the den, everyone tried their best to help calm her.

“Should I get some tea?” John offered.

“Damn the tea,” Sara replied, “She needs something stronger.” She went to her cabinet and pulled out a whiskey bottle and filled a glass.

“Sara,” John started, “I don’t think that she’ll take it well.”

Laszlo took the glass from Sara and helped Evelina drink it, who downed the whole glass, shocking John as she took it like a champ. “Please forgive me,” she said weakly, “I just…I saw someone.”

“Who? Was it the man who entered your room?” Sara questioned, her hand on Evelina's shoulder, drawing comforting circles.

“Who did what?” Laszlo asked perturbed.

“Evelina moved in with me because someone had entered her room and…took her knickers.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” John questioned.

“I told Sara,” she said, tears threatening to escape, “And I wasn’t sure then, but now seeing him, I was right. He found me.”

“Who?”

She lifted her head, looking at Laszlo. “I have to confess something to you. I lied. When you asked if I had any family, I said I had none living. It was a lie, I have one, though I wish I did not. My brother, Winston. And he has found me.”

Laszlo looked down at her with pitiable eyes rather than accusing ones, then reached behind him to wrap a blanket around her. “Let us help you if we may. Start from the very beginning.”

She nodded, and both John and Sara took a seat, the Isaacson brothers standing by the fireplace, all ready to hear this tale of woe.

“Winston had always behaved differently, but it was believed he’d grow out of those tempers. Papa had always managed to calm him, but nothing that Mum or I did help, in fact, it seemed he had a particular hatred towards women in general. He was cruel, irrational and irregular. One moment, he would play the protective brother who chased off any male, young or old, but then the next call me terrible names and act as if he despised my very existence. I was twelve when Mum died, approaching womanhood, so things began to change, I began to change, and Winston changed towards me too. There was a boy who was sweet on me, and once kissed my hand, a gesture that offended me not. By nightfall, he was found dead, beaten savagely, and no one knew who did it. But I knew, or at least I came to understand, that it was Winston. He murdered that poor boy because of me. And I found out the reason why in the worst way possible.”

“In what way?” Laszlo asked.

Evelina took a moment, then carefully spoke, with her heart racing against her chest. “When Winston tried to rape me.”

Sara’s hand went to her mouth in shock, John and Laszlo stared in horror. “Your own brother?” Marcus asked, “What on earth made him do such a thing?”

“I don’t know,” Evelina whispered, her eyes watering. “I was just sitting in our den reading, when Winston came in and started to shout at me. He called me dreadful things, things I would not dare to repeat. I tried to walk away, having been fed up with his cruelty, but he grabbed me, flung me on the floor and laid on top of me. He asked me why I can’t love him, and it shocked me, because he never seemed to care whether I did or did not love him. And yet, here he was, hurt and confused, and I was confused. How could he not know that he made me hate him? How was I to believe that he loved me when every word he spoke, every action he took towards me was always one of hate? He told me how he killed for me, how he loves me better than any man ever would or could, that I was meant to be his and his alone. He tried to kiss me, like lovers would and it terrified me.

“I shouted and screamed, but we were alone, and I truly feared that he would have done it, so I tried to fight him as much as I could until either he gave up or someone came. Thankfully, Papa returned in time and removed Winston from me. He wasted no time to have me secured safely away from the house while he worked out sending Winston to a sanitarium, somewhere far from England. I was fifteen then. And for nearly a decade, we were happy, at peace. Only in my nightmares would Winston haunt me, but I felt certain that he’d never leave.”

She pulled the blanket closer to herself, shuddering. “When Papa died, I had worked out his estate. He wasn’t a rich man, but he always made good on his promises. Sadly, when everything was done and paid for, I had received a letter from the sanitarium, saying that if Winston’s fee couldn’t be paid, then he would be released. I knew I hadn’t much time before he’d come back, so, I sold off whatever I could, enough to start a new life and headed for here in America. I was always looking over my shoulder, afraid that the moment my guard was down, he’d appear. The man who attacked me the night we met, I had almost believed it to be my brother, and I had thought that perhaps I was being foolish, that I was at last free of him. Until now.”

Everyone listened with astonishment and pity. No wonder she was afraid, and how remarkable it was for her, a single young woman to make a life on her own, a difficult decision no doubt, despite having no one to turn to. It was because of this, each felt an urge to protect and aid their friend, a friend who had already fought so long and hard against a demon who haunted her every waking moment.

“I have put you all in great danger, for he will stop at nothing to get me back. It was he who threw the rock in your institute, for he must have seen us walking in the park and must have become very jealous. If he even sees a man look twice at me, he’ll get terribly jealous and will consider them a threat, and I fear that he will see you as one,” her eyes scanned over the men, then she turned to Laszlo, “Especially you.” She leaned forward, her hand falling on Laszlo’s bad hand, and desperation in her voice, pleaded, “Oh, my friends, as I like to think of you all as such, I beg that you do not leave me in my hour of need. I will be more than happy to repay you all however you wish for this kindness, and I know it is much that I am asking of you but now more than ever, I am in desperate need of friends.”

Laszlo placed his good hand on hers and looked her in the eyes and with no hesitation replied, “I promise you, we will not let anything happen to you. You may depend on us to help you through this difficult time and catch him before he harms you."

“The same goes for me,” John said. The Isaacson Brother offered their support and Sara maintained that Evelina not only may stay, but must stay with her until he is caught. For the first time in many months, Evelina felt like she could breathe, and hope shined through this night. Indeed, she is putting her trust in the right people, and she must, or else worse than Winston taking her away, is him hurting Laszlo, a fate worse than death.

As she managed to calm down and settle in bed, she realized that indeed the truth will out, just not the truth she wanted to share.

Tagging: @monsieurbruhl @flutterskies @sokoviandelights, @cazzyimagines, @rumblelibrary, @fictionlandslanddreams, @violetmuses and @barnesxnobles. If anyone else would like to be tagged, please let me know!

#daniel bruhl #daniel brühl #the alienist #laszlo kreizler #fanfiction

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tatyana-dreaming · 3 years

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Hello! I think like I've never asked you, but what are your favorite operas and opera composers in general? I know you like Eugene Onegin (and Le Nozze 🤔?), which is understandable, but what about other stuff please tell me. You can even list your top 20 (or 30, or 50?) that'd be cool 😎

who, ME??? *blushes * (especially because I know you study music) well, if yOU think it would be cool I will indeed list an opera top 20! but keep in mind I have only been into opera for a year and I usually like to obsess over one opera at a time, thus I make very slow process in discovering new favorites (which I also love to do!)

Honestly it is incredibly difficult to “rank” but I will do my best. The first 10 are operas I actually listen to regularly, and am well on the way to knowing by heart (like Onegin my beloved <3) (YES I LIKE VERDI is it clear? I won’t apologize) and 10-20 are operas I have only seen/heard once but either love the story or the music or both.

1. you guessed it: Tchaikovsky: Eugene Onegin (my beloved)

2. predictable as always! Mozart: Le Nozze di Figaro (aber erlich höre ich lieber Die Hochzeit des Figaros – pls don’t hate :D damit kann ich mein Deutsch verbessern!!)

3. Verdi: Un Ballo in Maschera

4. Verdi: Il Trovatore

5. Puccini: Tosca (thanks to @notyouraveragejulie for ehmm... strongly suggesting this one, after I was yelling about how "I'm just not a Puccini person!!")

6. Offenbach: Les contes d’Hoffman (@monotonous-minutia :'D thank you for bringing this into my life, I'm not sure I would have appreicated it the same way without you) (although how can anyone resist the music???)

7. Massenet: Werther (mainly the Sad Arias, oh wait that's most of them)

8. Verdi: La Traviata

9. Verdi: Rigoletto

10. Bizet: Carmen

11. Tchaikovsky: Pikovaya Dama

12. Gounod: Faust

13. Donizetti: Lucia di Lammermoor

14. Rossini: Le comte Ory

15. Bellini: Norma

16. Rossini: Il Barbiere di Siviglia

17. Handel: Agrippina

18. Borodin: Prince Igor (the music is gorgeous, though I haven’t quite come to terms with the story. Then again when HAVEN’t I said that about an opera) (*flashbacks to Il Trovatore*)

19. Massenet: Cendrillon

20. Puccini: La Fanciulla del West

Some people may freak out that Don Carlo and La Bohème are not featured (yeah, I just haven’t clicked with them musically yet, but I am planning on re-visting them). Also I do very much love other Donizetti and Mozart operas, but I’m just not as familiar with them/have only seen them once (okay, I'll admit I have put Così on while I do work many a time).

Top on my list to watch next are Thaïs, Roméo et Juliette, and L’Étoile, the latter on the recommendation of @monotonous-minutia and @notyouraveragejulie… oh and definitely Don Carlos hehe @revedebeatrice. I also need to finish Idomeneo and finally get to Roberto Devereux! I’d also definitely like to see some operas by women and POC :) which reminds me I never got around to my Women’s Opera History Month assignment :( (yet!)

And I always take recommendations!!!!

Thank you so much for the ask, it made my day! (p.s. I ADORE YOUR NEW ICON <3)

#i may or may not have spent a whole hour on this : 'D i got really into it #wow you'd think I'd be WAY more familiar with French opera than I already am #and my German opera exposure? virtually nonexistent #too bad I am too obsessed with Russian right now #asks

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itsthegameilike · 4 years

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Best Books of 2020

Hi all! As always, I read some banger books this year and I like to do my best to get like everyone in the world to read them, because they’re deserving and being an author is hard. So, without further ado, here are the books that made my year! There Will Come a Darkness/As the Shadow Rises--Katy Rose Pool A pretty standard fantasy YA fare, but a step above in character and entertainment. There’s a world-ending prophecy, of course, and a collection of kids trying to save the day, but the world building is excellent and the plot develops from the characters and their relationships, not the other way around. I have characters I would die for and the second book in the series didn’t fall into the typical mid series lag. 8/10. The Lost Future of Pepperharrow--Natasha Pulley This was a follow up to The Watchmaker of Filigree Street, which is another of my personal favorites, and this did not disappoint. I, in fact, like it better than the first. Set in Japan in the late 1800s, it is part ghost story and mystery, as Thaniel’s--the main character--love interest goes missing, his past having caught up to him. Thaniel is so relatable and his devotion and relationship with Mori could carry me through like forty more books exactly like this. I don’t want to give it away, but it’s one of the most satisfying historical fiction queer relationships I’ve ever read. 10/10.

The Vanished Birds--Simon Jimenez A space odyssey story that hits closer to home for me than most do, as I’m not typically a science fiction fan. There are aspects of time and space travel, leaving the main character outside of normal space and time, meaning most of her friends have aged and died past her. Eventually, she meets a boy, lost and alone, and grudgingly takes him in. They form a bond, but he has a secret and it ends up wrecking her ship, her crew, etc. but she does her best to keep him safe anyway. The plot is incredible, lots of twists and turns--the good kind--and I’m more than a slut for found family stories, so here we are. 9/10.

Upstream--Mary Oliver This is an essay collection by Mary Oliver and like everything by her, it changed my life just a little. Before this year, I wasn’t reading her every day and now I am. She offers much needed perspective and the tools for self healing and this short essay collection is such a simple way to get started. I loved it to pieces, just as I love her. 10/10.

The Autobiography of Red--Anne Carson I read a fuckton of Anne Carson this year. I encountered her on this site and decided to read as much as I could and I have no regrets. This was my favorite by her, but they’re all so so so good. This is a modern retelling of a Greek myth starring Herakles and Geryon, centered on their relationship and Geryon’s journey to discovering his own power. There are times when it is incredibly harrowing, but I stopped like every two pages just to process her way with words. This is the most English major offering of the year, as it works heavily in metaphor and allegory--and is also poetry--but it is worth it. 10/10. P.S. If you’re looking for more Anne Carson, I also highly recommend The Beauty of the Husband.

This is How You Lose the Time War--Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone God, I loved this book. Maybe the surprise of the year for me. The writing is absolutely gorgeous and the tropes are some of my favorites. Two women on opposite sides of a war who fall in love with each other through hidden messages and a happy-ish ending. Though it is more vignettes than an actual plot--that being said, the ending comes through--it still affected me intensely. 9/10.

The House in the Cerulean Sea--T.J. Klune Read this book, please. Please, please, please. It is the comfort you need, I promise. It’s about a weary man, stuck in the hell cycle of capitalism, who is sent on a job to an old, rickety house owned by a man who takes care of magical creatures/children than no one else will take care of. They fall in love and the mc finds a family and begins to enjoy his life. The relationship is so healing and cute and I spent half my time screaming and the other half crying. 10/10.

Gideon the Ninth/Harrow the Ninth--Tamsyn Muir I do not even know where to begin talking about these. They’re weird, hilarious, morbid, and absolutely wonderful. I would die for both mc’s, who are definitely halfway through an incredible enemies-friends-lovers plot, and this book surprised me with plot twists more than once. There are necromancers and bones and sacrifices and threesomes with God and queer characters up the wazoo and old, dangerous ruins and space and ugh. I reread these almost the second I finished--both of them--and I know I’ll need to reread before the last book comes out. 10/10.

Tell the Wolves I’m Home--Carol Rifka Brunt I gave this to every member of my family to read, almost directly after I sobbed for like forty-five minutes at the end. It’s from the POV of a young girl whose uncle dies of AIDS and can’t find comfort in her own family, because they didn’t like him nearly as much as she did. She becomes friends with the boyfriend he left behind and they heal each other through their friendship. It wrecked me and put me back together. 10/10.

These Violent Delights--Chloe Gong This book is a retelling of Romeo & Juliet in Shanghai...loosely. But it’s such a good read. Shanghai is so visceral it’s practically it’s own character and the threat of the monster lose in the city is genuinely terrifying. Juliette and Roma were together at one point, then broke up after a betrayal, and when they come back together to save the city, it creates such an interesting character dynamic that never lost my interest. Lots and lots of props too to the relationship between the Benvolio & Mercutio counterparts. I cannot wait for the continuation of that in the next book. Just...so good. 9/10.

Honorable Mentions: A Deadly Education-Naomi Novak, The Only Good Indians-Stephen Graham Jones, The Memory of Babel-Christelle Dabos (only here because it’s the 3rd book in a series, it’s a 10/10), Black Leopard Red Wolf-Marlon James, The Eye of the Heron-Ursula K Le Guin, and Fifty Words for Rain-Asha Lemmie

#book rec #books #tell the wolves i'm home #these violent delights #the locked tomb #the house in the cerulean sea #this is how you lose the time war #the autobiography of red #upstream #the vanished birds #the lost future of pepperharrow #there will come a darkness #best of 2020

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