#I love this little cowboy and his Roman

[ben-is-obsessed]

I rediscovered my obsession with the Night at The Museum Trilogy and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem

[crossbackpoke-check]

yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24

[littleredwing89]

FAMOUS [PART THREE]

Bodyguard!Jason Todd x Singer!Reader

Summary: There was something about the way the dim light softened his features, made his usual tough-guy exterior seem more approachable.

Warnings: None really. Building tension between you & Jason.

A/N: So here is a very-very-VERY long overdue part 3 - Wooo!! 💛💛 if it makes you all feel better - I have completely written this story (40k words approx) so I’ll just post 1 or 2 chapters a week for you. I’m sorry this took so long my loves 😘😘 - sending all my love & please enjoy the next chapter - I really hope it was worth the wait.

Elle xoxo ❤️❤️❤️

———

HARDER THAN NECESSARY

———

***

The apartment was eerily quiet, the soft hum of the city beyond the window the only sound filling the space. You tiptoed across the hardwood floors, your oversized college sweater hanging loosely on your frame, hoping to make it to the door without disturbing the brick wall of a man currently asleep down the hall.

Just as your fingers brushed the doorknob, a loud click echoed through the room.

“Freeze,” Jason’s deep, gravelly voice commanded, his gun trained on you in an instant. His eyes were sharp, scanning you for a threat before recognition dawned on his face.

“Holy shit,” you gasped, raising your hands slowly. “Slow down, cowboy.”

Jason cursed under his breath, quickly holstering the gun. “Shit. Why are you sneaking around your own house?”

“Because!” you snapped, not wanting to admit why you were really sneaking out. The idea of telling him you were trying to repay him for the burger and chips he got you last week was… embarrassing, to say the least. “I am… I just…”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Why are you dressed sketchy?”

“It’s comfy, sue me,” you huffed, tugging at the hem of the oversized sweater.

“Don’t tempt me,” Jason muttered, crossing his arms and planting himself between you and the door like the human wall he was.

“Look, just go back to bed,” you sighed, trying to push past him. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

But Jason didn’t budge. “You’re not going out.”

“Yes, I am,” you shot back, frustration bubbling up. “Alone.”

Jason’s expression darkened, his body language shifting from casual to protective in an instant. “No—I’m going with you. Let me just get a jacket.” He reached for his brown leather jacket draped over the kitchen barstool.

“No!!” you blurted, panic rising in your chest. You hadn’t planned for him to come along. “I’ll be fine! I do this all the time on my own! I really don’t need an escort.”

Jason’s eyes narrowed as he grumbled, “This is why Mr. Sionis hired me. You can’t do this shit alone anymore—it isn’t safe.”

“Roman’s an overprotective idiot,” you muttered, arms crossed over your chest. “He doesn’t know the half of what I do.”

Jason sighed, clearly losing patience. “We either go together, or you don’t go at all.”

You looked down at the floor, knowing you were defeated. All you wanted was to repay Jason’s kindness from before, but now it felt like the universe was against you. Keeping your emotions in check, you let out a long breath. “I’m not used to this…” you muttered.

Jason softened just a little, sensing your frustration. “Let me go with you. I’ll pay. If we pretend it’s a date, people are less likely to even recognise you.”

Your face flushed pink at his suggestion. “What?!”

Jason fumbled, his own face heating up. “Just—just pretend! Look, I’m here to stay, okay? Mr. Sionis wants you safe, so we should probably get to know each other better. I mean, I am living in your box room down the hall.”

You shot him a look. “It’s not a box room—I gave you a room with a nice view of Gotham.”

Jason smirked, clearly amused. “You’re deflecting.”

With a dramatic sigh, you threw your hands up. “Fine. But I’m driving.”

Jason tossed you his keys, surprising you. “Don’t scratch it. I just got it fixed up.”

You smirked, twirling the keys in your hand. “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt your baby.”

Jason’s face flushed slightly as he looked away. “You better not, or you’ll be paying for her next paint job.”

You grinned mischievously. “Her? Does she have a name, tough guy?”.

Jason ignored your teasing, shrugging on his jacket. “Come on—I thought you were hungry.”

Stifling a laugh, you headed out the door, calling back over your shoulder, “Yes, sir.”

Jason bit back the smile threatening to spread across his face, trying to ignore the way that “sir” made his stomach twist in a way it definitely shouldn’t.

——

The diner was quiet, the low hum of neon lights flickering above as you and Jason sat across from each other in one of the old booths. When the food arrived, Jason reached for his wallet, but before he could pull it out, you quickly slipped your card over the machine with a smug smile.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Jason grumbled, clearly caught off guard.

“I know,” you replied, giving him a teasing smile. “But it’s nice to repay the favor, y’know?”

Jason gave you a rare, small smile. “Thanks.”

You nodded, a little flutter of satisfaction warming your chest. “However, if I’d known that, I would’ve ordered more,” Jason teased, leaning back in his seat.

You rolled your eyes, playfully scoffing. “Jerk.”

“Eh, sue me.”

You tried to focus on your food, but your eyes kept drifting back to Jason as he casually leaned back in his leather jacket, looking more relaxed than you’d ever seen him. There was something about the way the dim light softened his features, made his usual tough-guy exterior seem more approachable.

Jason noticed you staring and raised an eyebrow. “What? Is there something on my face?” He wiped at his chin, checking for stray ketchup.

Flushing red, you shook your head quickly. “No! No… sorry, I just zoned out. I was thinking about a new song I’m working on.”

Jason smiled, the edges of his lips tugging upward. “Yeah, I heard some of it last night. Or, well, early this morning.”

Your eyes widened. “Oh shit, sorry—I didn’t realise the noise carried that far down the hall.”

Jason shrugged, his smile still lingering. “It’s not a complaint. It sounded great.”

You were about to say something in return, something sweet and appreciative, but Jason—being Jason—slurped his drink loudly through the straw, completely killing the mood. You furrowed your brow, muttering, “Mood kill.”

Jason looked at you, confused. “What?”

“Nothing,” you said with a sigh, glancing at the clock. “We should probably head back.”

——

The drive back to the apartment was quieter than usual, but not uncomfortable. Jason had his elbow resting on the car door, his other hand draped casually on his thigh, looking out at the city lights. You glanced at him every now and then, trying to shake the lingering thoughts of how natural it felt having him beside you.

As you stopped at a red light, you couldn’t help but ask, “So, you really heard me working on the song last night?”

Jason nodded, glancing over at you. “Yeah. You’re good. Like… really good. You’re not just some pretty face in a band.”

You felt your face heat up. “Thanks, but you don’t have to say that just because you’re protecting me.”

“I’m not,” he said, his tone more serious than you expected. “I mean it. You’ve got talent. Don’t let Roman’s overprotectiveness make you forget that.”

The compliment caught you off guard. Jason wasn’t the type to throw praise around carelessly, and hearing it from him made it feel different. More genuine. You smiled, turning back to the road as the light turned green. “That means a lot coming from you.”

Jason shifted slightly, as if uncomfortable with the sentimentality. “Yeah, well… don’t get used to it. I’ve got a tough reputation to keep.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, the sound filling the car. “Sure, big guy. I’ll keep your secret.”

The rest of the drive passed quickly, and soon enough, you were pulling into the underground parking lot of your building. You killed the engine and sat there for a moment, neither of you moving to get out.

Jason was the first to break the silence, clearing his throat. “You really didn’t need to sneak out earlier, y’know. I get that you like your independence, but… I’m here to help. You don’t have to do everything on your own.”

Your hand hesitated on the car door handle, his words sinking in. He wasn’t just talking about tonight. He was talking about more than that—about your habit of handling things solo, even when it wasn’t safe. You bit your lip, looking down at your hands. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate the help… It’s just hard to adjust to having someone around all the time. I’m used to taking care of myself.”

Jason watched you carefully, his voice softer than before. “I get it. But you don’t have to anymore. Not with me.”

You glanced over at him, meeting his steady gaze. The sincerity in his eyes made your heart skip a beat. It was as if he wasn’t just saying it because it was his job—he meant it, and that scared you a little.

“Thanks, Jason,” you said quietly, feeling the weight of his words.

He gave a small nod, reaching for the door handle. “Come on, let’s get inside before Roman tracks us down.”

As you both stepped out of the car and made your way toward the elevator, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted between you. It wasn’t just the professional relationship anymore. It was different…in a good way.

When you reached your apartment, you turned to face Jason before unlocking the door. “Hey,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “Thanks for tonight… and for everything.”

Jason gave you a half-smile, his eyes softening just slightly. “Anytime, princess.”

***

[libraryofgage]

Life in Miniature (One)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedediah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One (you're here!)

There will be more Jedtavius in the next parts I promise, I just thought this would be a funner introduction to the AU lmao

I just love those little guy dudes from the museum so much hfjdks and now we get two pairs of them

Also, fun fact, I took Steve's Roman name from, like, an actual king of Rome. The actual sixth king. He seemed like a chill dude.

Anyway, there's a meme at the end and as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

---------

When Robin took this job as a night guard, she didn't think the previous guard's words about history coming to life at night was, you know, real. She thought it was a joke, a predictable and corny joke, but a joke nonetheless.

But now, after being chased by a T-Rex, getting saved by Theodore Roosevelt, and almost being taken captive by fucking Attila the Hun, Robin thinks this job definitely isn't worth $16.50 an hour. Then again, this is the best paying job she's had in a while, and she was living a nocturnal life anyway.

Robin groans, leaning against a wall in the diorama exhibit, and slides down to the floor. She lets her head fall back against the wall, her eyes slipping shut as she slides. "This is crazy. This is insane. I need to find a fucking weapon or something," she mutters.

"Pardon me," comes a voice close to her head, "but might you be the goddess Diana?"

As pick-up lines go, it's not the worst one she's heard. And, based on what she knows of Greek and Roman deities, it wouldn't be too far off. Still, she does not want to be hit on by whatever weird historical thing is trying to flirt with her.

Robin takes a deep breath, opens her eyes, and says, "Do I look like a goddess to you?"

She looks to her left where the voice came from, blinking when her gaze falls on a figurine that would barely reach her ankle. He's dressed in a toga with a chest plate, wrist guards, a sword on his waist, and a deep purple cape over his shoulders. His hair is, honestly, the most impressive thing Robin has ever seen, made only more impressive by the golden laurels resting perfectly against his temples.

He's looking at her with wide eyes, more awed than anything else. "Yes," he says. "I have heard the gods are larger than life."

Okay. Fair.

"Why Diana, man?" Robin asks.

He tilts his head, studying her for a moment, looking her up and down. "You give me the same feeling as statues of Noble Diana with her Huntresses," he explains, pausing for a moment before adding, "A feeling of kinship, perhaps?"

Oh. This...this is like ancient Roman gaydar, right? Robin snorts and turns, resting her elbow on her knee. "I'm definitely not Diana. My name is Robin. I'm the new night guard."

His eyes brighten some, his smile growing wider and certainly charming enough to make the hearts of a few girls and guys flutter. "I am Servius Tullius, Sixth King of Rome, son of Vulcan, weapons master of the gods, and adopted son of Jedediah, Cowboy King of the Wild West, and Octavius, general of the Roman army."

Robin nods, letting all of the those words process in her head before saying, "Mind if I call you Steve? You look like a Steve."

The Sixth King of Rome blinks, looking slightly confused before his eyes light up with understanding. "Ah! A nickname! Yes, I am familiar with this concept. You may call me Steve, Lady Robin, as a show of our newfound friendship."

"Yeah, don't call me Lady Robin. Just Robin is fine," she says, hesitating before offering her hand to Steve.

"As you wish, Just Robin," he says, stepping carefully onto her hand and remaining steady as she raises him higher.

Robin blinks, frowning slightly and about to correct him again when she sees his smile and realizes it's a joke. "Okay, very funny, dingus," she says, carefully poking his side.

"Is dingus another nickname? It sounds like an insult."

"It usually is, but it's affectionate when I say it."

"Oh! Yes, like when Ockie calls Jed a philistine."

"Uh, sure," Robin says, nodding once as she lets Steve move to stand on her shoulder. He quickly sits, holding onto the collar of her jacket as she carefully stands up. "Hey, you know what I'm supposed to do about the dinosaur bones?"

"Rexy? Yes, he enjoys a game of fetch."

"Fetch. Of course."

----------

"What's going on in that head of yours, little man?"

Steve blinks, looks over at Jedediah, and raises an eyebrow at him. "I'm taller than you," he says, gesturing to the good inch he has on Jedediah.

"As long as you're my son, you're a little man."

Doing his best to not laugh, Steve nods once and points to the new diorama set up in the middle of the room. It's a circular diorama, centered on an equally circular stage divided into sections. A cacophony of noise echoes from it, clashing as each slice of the stage fights for dominance. "I'm trying to figure out what in Jupiter's name they're doing over there," he says.

"Well, most of it sounds like music," Jedediah says, "I think."

"It's not any music I've heard before," Octavius says, coming to a stop next to Jedediah and frowning at the diorama. "I would have assumed it the unholy shrieking of the damned."

"Perhaps it would be nicer if they weren't all playing at once," Steve suggests, hands on his hips as he tilts his head.

"Oh, boy, there it is," Jedediah says, his grin audible in his tone. "He's got the King Face."

"What are your intentions, my boy?" Octavius asks.

Before Steve can answer, Robin strolls into the room, grinning when she sees the raving diorama in the middle. She walks over to Steve, Jedediah, and Octavius, crouches down, and says, "Hey, guys. I see you're checking out the History of Rock display."

"History of Rock?" Steve asks.

"What in the sweet hell do rocks have to do with that mess?" Jedediah asks, gesturing to the noisy stage.

Robin rolls her eyes. "No, like, rock music. It's a genre. Anyway, it was sponsored by some musician, so it's a permanent display now."

"And they will be...playing every night?" Octavius asks.

"Probably."

Steve frowns a little more and nods, rolling his shoulders back. "If they are a permanent fixture in our hallowed hall, they must be welcomed. As Sixth King of Rome, this duty falls upon my shoulders. Fathers, I shall return shortly."

"Woah, woah, hold your horses there, little man," Jedediah says, moving to stand in front of Steve. "You're not going anywhere near that snake pit without some back up."

"A few centurions, at least," Octavius agrees.

"I will have Robin. What better protection is there?"

Jedediah and Octavius glance at each other before looking at Robin. She grins and offers them a two finger salute. "I'll guard him with my life," she says, "It's literally my job."

With that reassurance, Jedediah and Octavius move out of the way. Steve steps onto Robin's hand and settles on her shoulder with practiced ease, ignoring the nervous flutter in his stomach at greeting the new museum residents. He hopes they'll get along, but he also knows the might of his Roman army and the railroad workers can crush any who stand in their way.

Robin stops next to the diorama, tilting her head as she studies it. This close, Steve can see the bands playing on each slice of stage, the instruments and fashion shifting as his gaze travels around it. "Uh, excuse me," Robin says, raising her voice.

The raucous noise from the diorama screeches to a halt, the feedback making Robin and Steve grimace slightly. "Uh, hi. We're the official welcome crew for the Hall of Miniatures here. So, I'll need someone to represent your, like, whole display," Robin says, glancing over the bands until she finds one she recognizes. "Okay, I know you guys, so I'll be designating you the spokesband. Now, could the lead singer step forward?"

Steve watches as someone on the "Corroded Coffin" (what an odd name for a band) slice of the stage steps forward. Robin offers her hand to them, carefully lifting it away once they step on. "Great, uh, carry on, I guess. But, like, maybe play some of your quieter stuff for a bit," she says, her words barely out before the music starts up and the crowds start screaming once more.

She sighs and just walks over to the bench, letting off the person on her hand before letting Steve slide down her arm in a move they spent nearly three weeks practicing if only because they knew it would look cool.

When he hops onto the bench, Steve walks up to the other miniature, a man his age with long hair and odd clothes with tears that Robin once said were fashionable. His instrument is still slung over his shoulders, resting casually against his hips much like Steve's sword. Steve suddenly finds himself thinking that the man looks a little like a warrior. An odd one, to be sure, but a handsome one nonetheless.

He flashes his most charming smile, lets his shoulders relax, and says, "My friend here is Robin, Guardian of Brooklyn. I am Servius Tullius, Sixth King of Rome, son of Vulcan, weapons master of the gods, and adopted son of Jedediah, Cowboy King of the Wild West, and Octavius, general of the Roman army. You, however, may call me Steve."

-----

As far as Eddie was concerned, nothing mattered so long as Corroded Coffin got to keep rocking in an endless concert. The energy never waned, the set list never grew boring, and the music never stopped. He was ready to inform this welcoming crew of just that and promise Hell on Earth if they tried to disrupt the music (angry concert goers are a force of nature), when the words just died in his throat.

Because the most gorgeous man he's ever seen slides down that giant lady's arm, easily and smoothly landing on the bench. Somehow, his hair is perfectly windswept, the golden laurels glinting in the lights above them. His purple cape flutters softly as he walks closer, his toned thighs on full display with the toga hem that falls to the middle of them. There's a sword on the guy's hip, a chest plate that Eddie wants to pull off, a smile he wants to taste, and a pair of freckles right next to each other on the guy's cheek he wants to drag his tongue across.

He misses most of the introduction because he's too busy staring. He gets the important bits, though: Robin, a king, son of a god, adopted son of two dads. Eddie licks his lips nervously, a grin of his own tugging at his lips as he steps forward and playfully bows. "It's an honor to meet you, Your Majesty," he says.

It's supposed to come out joking, a little poke at the guy's authority to see if he can be riled up. It actually comes out way too genuine, and Eddie has a sudden realization that he meant it. He absolutely will accept this guy as his king, actually. He'll fall to his knees before him right now if asked, and not just because it might give him a little peek under the dude's toga.

"Please, just call me Steve. There's no need to be so formal."

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek, hoping Steve doesn't realize that the things Eddie is thinking about (the things he wants to do to and with Steve) are just about the least formal things on this earth. "Good to know," he says, relieved his voice sounds normal as he stands up straight and offers his hand. "Name's Eddie Munson, uh, lead singer of Corroded Coffin."

Steve blinks, and his smile becomes a bit more genuine as he steps closer and clasps Eddie's forearm. "A fellow leader," he says, squeezing Eddie's arm. "Welcome to our museum."

"Y-yeah," Eddie says, his arm still tingling when Steve lets go. He clears his throat, idly tugging on a few strands of hair. "So, uh, what's the deal around here? I mean, giant women...Roman kings...cowboys, it looks like."

"Our noble museum is home to Pharoah Ahkmenrah and his tablet, which brings the exhibits to life each night," Steve explains.

"There's a few rules, though," Robin says, sitting down on the bench behind Steve. "One, no getting into fights. Two, be back in your display by sunrise. Three, no leaving the museum at night."

"What? Why not?"

"We have lost good exhibits to Sol Invictus's morning rays," Steve says, frowning slightly. "So, be careful."

Eddie stares at Steve with wide eyes as he nods, amazed at the fact that Steve seems to talk like that so genuinely. And the fact that Eddie is...kinda into it. Holy shit, that's not helping with Eddie's whole "fall to his knees" thing. He wouldn't mind some good old-fashioned worship if Steve would just smile at him again.

Maybe his prayers are heard, because Steve smiles at him again. "Wonderful," he says. "Now, Eddie, could I interest you in a tour of the museum tonight?"

"Oh, you could interest me in a lot of things, sweetheart," Eddie blurts out, his mouth running faster than his brain.

He snaps his jaw shut, relieved and horrified at Steve's slightly confused expression and Robin's "I know what you are" thousand-yard stare from over his shoulder. Before he can try to backtrack, Steve snaps, understanding in his eyes. "Ah! Sweetheart is a nickname, yes? I accept your offer of friendship."

Eddie clenches his jaw, stopping himself from saying that it's more than friendships he's offering, and smiles. "Yeah. A nickname. That's all. I'm just...a nickname kinda guy. I'll probably think of more, too, Stevie. Like that."

Steve practically beams, and Eddie feels his knees go weak. "I look forward to it," he says, turning on his heel to look at Robin, who thankfully schools her expression. "Robin, this is where we leave you for the night. You have my word that Eddie will be back in place before sunrise."

"Well, you two kids have fun," she says, grinning in a way that immediately puts Eddie on edge. "I'd better not hear about any funny business, though. Absolutely no bases should be reached tonight, and you'd better not do any conquering or pillaging."

She definitely looks at Eddie when she says that last bit. Eddie stiffens, doing his best to hold back a blush when Steve glances over at his, the confusion clear on his face. "Conquering requires more planning than this, Robin. I've told you before."

"Don't worry about it, dingus. Just have fun. Here, I'll even call a ride for you," she says, winking at them before turning, holding her fingers to her mouth, and whistling sharply.

Steve walks over to Eddie right as the ground starts to shake, easily catching him around the waist before he can lose his balance. "The shaking does take some getting used to," he says, his tone full of sympathy and obliviousness to the crisis Eddie is experiencing.

When his brain finally catches up enough to ask what he's talking about, a dinosaur skeleton slides into the room, its body wiggling excitedly as it growls. Eddie jerks back, the arm around his waist tightening some. "What the fuck?!" he shouts.

"Worry not," Steve says, leaning closer. His voice is a little softer now, his breath fanning over Eddie's ear. "This is Rexy, our steed for the evening. He's very friendly."

"Friendly," Eddie mumbles, letting himself be dragged over to Rexy and placed on the dinosaur's head by Robin. "The dinosaur is friendly."

"Many of the exhibits are," Steve tells him, grinning brightly as Rexy begins moving after a pet on the snout from Robin.

Eddie looks at him, feeling blinded by Steve's smile once more, and completely forgets about the living dinosaur skeleton.

--------

Lemme know if you'd like to be added to the tag list!

(Also I know there are like one or two upcoming parent AUs that people have asked to be tagged in and I tried to see if this was one of them but couldn't find anyone for the life of me hfjdks so I'm sorry if you asked on another post and I missed you orz)

And, finally, a meme for you

[joydoesathing]

heres a challenge say everything you love about every single tnmn characters

BET ( but only some doppels will count and the rest don't)

Neighbors

Roman - I like me some serious no-nonsense/ i-am-done-with-life looking guy in accounting :). But he seems to also be actually someone with a soft spot for some things and is actually a really nice and chill dude

Lois - She's so pink and plump and has a beauty mark/mole (people with moles will always have a bonus in my book)

Albertsky - He gives grumpy uncle vibes. Looks like would probably throw hands without hesitation if the situation calls for it

Robertsky - He silly. Love the little quirks in his dialogue where he just greets the doorman "Hi." and says "I look as handsome as ever". Also, I love his outfit. Bro may have no eyebrows and neck visible, but his clothes slay so hard . Like there is no reason why his fit should have a fancy little blue scarf, but yet it does .11/10 XD

Angus - He's a devious looking little shit >:))). And he wears purple and is Italian.

Elenois and Selenne - They pretty women and have a mole

Arnold - His design is just SO CUTE. He reminds me of Jake from Adventure Time with his mustache. But mostly it's the eyes for me. I like to imagine that his eyes would kind of work like this

Gloria - Gives literal ✨Q U E E N ✨ (she could slap me up to the stratosphere and I wouldn't be that mad). Purple and has a mole. Her golden eyes are mesmerizing too

Izaack - His name's cool and he has the stare-into-your-soul blue anime ahh looking eyes

Margarette - Gives nice little auntie vibes and she knows how to make clothes. I would legit ask her for dressmaking tips just so that I could make historical clothes (I love fashion history)

Nacha - Honestly, when I first played the game, she scared the shit out of me because of the Stitchface doppel and I haven't seen her the same for a bit. But after I figured out she's a mom, she didn't seem that bad and I grew quite fond of her. And she cooks too (If you can see a pattern here, I like people who give of parental/familial vibes)

Anastacha - Girl literally gives the doorman attitude like she owns the place XD

Mia - Again, pretty woman. Love the style of her red dress with the pearls.

Dr. W. - Fucking nerd (affectionate)

Francis- The milkman fit looks nice with his face (but I still get war flashbacks from the plethora of thrists arts and the "save the cow, milk the milkman" line being done to death)

Steven - Here's me being a basic bitch rn, but I really, REALLY love them real rugged guy guys (military soldiers, firemen etc.) That, and also he's a tan boi.

Mclooy - Same reason why I like Steven + He's a DILF/GILF. Also I love to point out a little observation of how him and Steven are one of the most American and typically masculine people I can think of (it's quite endearing for me). A military guy and cowboy in one family? They've probably asked what a kilometer is at one point in their adult life.

Alf - He's so tiny and looks so polite. Posh looking lawyer. I love sweet old grandpas.

Rafttellyn - She gives marites energy (it's a Filipino term, you can go search it up) with her dress and style. No joke, she would low-key fit in with these people.

Even her name sounds Filipino to me with the -lynn at the end of her. I even jokingly pronounce her name as rap-ti-lin.

Others + VIPs

Henry: Looks like he really never signed up for the doorman job frfr XD

D.D.D : Amongus???????

Clown Mask: Silly face behind mask

Nightmare Clown: I like how the guy just gets so MAD and in denial when he loses the game in Unlikely, he phases out of the astral plane XD.

Keppler: He may not have a face or proper lore yet, but all I know is that he messed up big time and I wanna know how he's handling that.

42: Reminds me of that one time in science class when we were observing fingerprint patterns

Peach Peach: Probably one peach seed is his only brain cell that's floating around his brain space

Ghost Mask and The Flesh Nurse: Cool looking designs. Do they have lore???

Nightmares

Xezbet - Gargamel looking aah

Drugia - Arabian NIIIIIIGHTS ~~~~~ like Arabian DAAAYS~~~~~~. She looks like a genie :)

Barbatos- Chonky and spiky

Excel - Chonky and spiky, Christmas ham looking ahhh

Abducius - Well, he still has the little devious smile

Anazareth and Lilith - Pretty witchy ladies. Though I like Anazareth a lot more.

Chaugnar - *Siri, please play Ganesha by MASA Works Design". Also elephant <3

Nyogtha- Nice little details with her eyes

Zoth - I like his red robe (?)

Shub - Thick Medusa and she has a little heart shaped tattoo on her forehead

Yog - The fact that he was probably intentionally made to be a Great Value Edward Cullen by Nacho sama as an inside joke about Francis' simps

Quachil - Cute biblically accurate angel. And she floats

Yan - Ooh Chinese mythology reference.

Orcus - "Thirty years since all this happened, thirty years it took to rise. Blood on the floor and in their eyes, they took a bite and left it to die-". I had a FNAF phase before so this was a funny throwback

Ishtar - Goofy ass smile (affectionate)

Teutates - So, does he play in a band ??? XD

Ah Puch - Cutie pie that looks like a slasher villain. Also the surname tho? Gives me The Book of Life flashbacks

Dagda - Bug eyed scarecrow. He does have cool looking mouth stitches

Izanami - Ooooh Japanese mythology reference

[starlightandmusings]

newsies fic recs (from an english major):

no hate to those who like the 5+1 and just one bed tropes, but they're just not my cup of tea. (i have been called a hater.) instead, here are my favorite ao3 newsies fics, ones with intense originality, lyrical prose, and in-depth character studies. (;

canon era:

among the roses green by TheBarkeep. a jatherine retelling of the ballad of tam lin, featuring a gentle davey, tumultuous katherine, and poignantly-drawn jack. and, of course, whump, always. word count 66k.

Sacrifice by Efstitt. this fic is my roman empire. mayer jacobs and jack kelly have a history riddled with pain, and jack has to battle his demons to let himself be loved. oh, and the refuge has a fight club. word count 15k.

keep the earth below my feet by scarlettroses. i'm a sucker for race & jack friendship, and here, race is a prizefighter. jack is there to drag him out of trouble, forever. word count 2.6k.

tryin' to talk with a fist in ya mouth by Somanywords. jack kelly's full backstory, chronicling his grief, his darkness. featuring intense PTSD, art as a form of therapy, and emotionally charged prose. word count 15.5k.

Jack's Self Portrait in Apologies by Em_313. a different angle on jack's backstory, captured in snapshots of regret. meticulous period research in this one, as well as a whole lot of bloodstains and death. word count 3k.

cardboard crown (jack kelly, a life) by stars_and_sunflowers. this is my own take on jack's story. featuring a fight club, a debt-riddled race, and irish catholicism. in-progress, current word count 16k.

Escapes by Efstitt. jack has just broken out of sing sing, and he lands smack dab in the middle of the pulitzers' summer estate. cue savagery, a pretty heiress, and a compassionate spot conlon. word count 30k.

On the Road by Efstitt. sequel to escapes! ever more whump, this time in the context of a road trip. jatherine is endgame, and the plot is dazzlingly engaging. and, as always, brilliant characterizations. word count 56k.

Just Hold On Kid by flyinghome21. another jack kelly backstory (do you see a pattern?) flashes of years gone by; i was really captured by the way the plot moved, the highlights of what made jack tick. word count 27k.

melt your headaches, call it home by floodlights. latino jack kelly. jatherine. classism/racism, violence, startlingly lyrical prose. do i even need to SAY more. i want to eat this fic. one of my all time faves. word count almost 5k.

Best Laid Plans by TheBarkeep. ashkenazi jewish jacobs family rep! this one features a soft davey jacobs falling in love with a sex worker, jatherine sweetness, and teenagers bearing the weight of the world. word count 128k.

Jack and the Baby by tuppenny. cute one-shot told in jack's vividly unique, endearing voice -- he steals a baby in the summer of 1891. carefully researched, wonderfully executed. word count 5.6k.

of cowboys and princesses by TheBarkeep. little jack and charlie meet each other in an orphan asylum. jack is a fierce protector, charlie a wistful dreamer. this one made me cry. word count almost 3k.

honorable mention: for you are my fate, my sweet by TheBarkeep. cupid & psyche retelling featuring organized crime, meticulous period piece research, and a villain more horrific than snyder. this is one of my favorites, but i skimmed so much of it because it gets very dark. word count 149k.

(now would be a good time to get up, stretch, drink some water. will i ever stop yapping? eventually.)

modern au

No Way by Efstitt. this and the sequel have my brain in a stranglehold. foster care au ft a severely traumatized jack, charlie and jack gorilla glue familial love, stunning plot twists, horrific whump, mayer jacobs for king of the universe now and forever. this one made me cry like a baby.

Just Hold On, Kid by Efstitt. the sequel. i am getting these two as bound books by the end of the year. davey is doing an investigative report on the refuge just as jack gets sent back, and mayer won't let something like trauma or distance stop him from loving his boys. in-progress. current word count 56k.

Medda Crusade by sunkissedstar. this series is the perfect blend of fluff and angst, focusing on baby jack and his trauma in foster care, and medda showering him with mother love. series word count is 10k.

to be updated! i am currently reading Hell Is a Sober Crawl by glitter_ink, rereading for you are my fate, my sweet (TheBarkeep), and beginning Five (stress), all of which came highly recommended. thanks for coming to my ted talk enjoy <3

[brotherwtf]

clegan time travel au? (kind of an extension to the night at the museum au)

John is a cowboy from the 1800s and Gale is a senator or diplomat or smth from the Roman Empire

John works on a ranch, a good old fashioned cowboy and is desperately bored with his life handling horses and tending the ranch

One day, a black mare is dumped on his ranch, and he's immediately taken by her. She's a stunning thing, sleek black coat and shiny mane and tail, and he immediately wants to take her on the trail

He decides to take her down to a mountain trail down south, and urges her to walk

They walk and walk, and John swears that the trail wasn't this far away. He's on a road he doesn't recognize, by a lake he's never seen before and he decides to get off the mare to look around

Insert hella homoerotic scene where Gale and John meet, Johns on his knees and Gale had a dagger pointed at him, maybe puts it under his chin and uses it to lift his chin up (grips chair)

They're both hella confused, John doesn't know what's happened and Gale doesn't know who John even is

Maybe John puts Gale on the black mare and starts walking north, and they end up back at John's ranch

Even more confused than ever, John forces Gale to sit in his Roman robes on Johns ranch while he tries to figure out what the hell happened

Now this could either be really silly or really tragic

Really silly would be they fall in love kinda fast, John realizes that the black mare allows them to move through time, and they just kinda goof throughout history, going wherever they please and just be in love, happy together

Or it could be just absolutely horrible and sad, they slowly fall in love on John's ranch, Gale still sometimes wearing his diplomatic robes to be more comfortable, and they spend the days telling each other about their respective time periods, Gale tells John about being a senator in the Roman empire and John tells Gale about the quiet life of being a rancher

Now when you try to play god and mess around with time, there's always consequences. Pretty soon time catches up to Gale and he starts to (literally) fade away. John notices when they're in bed together and can see the color of the sheets through Gale's hand

I want there to be a super angsty line before Gale finally disappears forever, smth like "I'll come find you, I'll always come find you" and maybe Gale saying "I'll always be with you, I wish I could stay with you

And John is left to grieve someone he wasn't sure ever existed, unable to tell anyone about his love and spending the rest of his life searching for Gale

WHAT IF GUYS: he finds the grave of Gale when he's old and grey, kneels before it and places the flowers he brought in the hopes of finding him on the headstone and just lays there, let's time pass until he, too, can join Gale

ooofff this ones got a little kick to it 🥹 this is a little disjointed but I thought it would be good for clegan lol. lmk what you guys think!

[wisteria-lodge]

Since you're writing Night at the Museum fanfiction, I gotta ask how you would sort the characters in those movies? (I remember like two years ago I semi-started my own sorting of the characters and then just never finished it)

So the thing about the way the museum exhibits are characterized is that they know they are exhibits. They *like* being exhibits. Their purpose in life is to teach/help the humans who come into contact with them (because that is the purpose they have been created for.)

Teddy is *very* aware he's not the Real Theodore Roosevelt, and kind of struggles with Theodore Roosevelt's ongoing legacy. He, Amelia Earhart, they're the cultural idea of the person they represent, not time travellers. It's pretty meta. Jedidiah and Octavius are not written as a literal historical cowboy and a literal historical roman, they are a reflection of how a 21st century American *thinks* about Cowboys (TM) and Romans (TM.) So a lot of what you're doing when you're writing about Jed and Octavius is unpacking cultural ideas of ideal masculinity, which was really fun to do.

That's my long-winded way of saying that all the museum exhibits are Badger primaries, full stop. Even Amelia Earhart doesn't *really* want "a great adventure" (which would be more Lion primary.) She wants to teach other people about the importance of having a great adventure. Jed actually talks about this a lot: "I called you 'cause you needed us. [You're] all gussied up, but dead inside. That ain't you." and "the least we can do is give [Larry] some help."

Larry Daley however, is not a Badger. He's a Snake. His entire motivation in the first film is his son - and the second one starts with a Larry who's a little Burned. He's got that Burnt Snake hedonism, leaning towards money and stuff and away from his personal connections, and regaining that connection is the plot of the movie.

In terms of secondary - Jed's a Lion. I don't think he's ever planned anything, ever. He talks a lot about his desire to "roam free" and asks Octavius to "remember me as I was, wild and free." He dislikes being constrained (manhandled.) He's kind of unofficially been made/made himself the leader of his diorama, which is very Lion secondary. And the fact that he's got guns that don't work (but he shoots them anyway) is... a little bit of a joke at the expense of Lion secondaries. This is a movie that *likes* prep-work secondaries, and it especially loves Bird secondaries. Larry is a *loud* Bird. When we met him he's an inventor (very Bird coded.) Then he gets the job at the museum, finds it overwhelming... and immediately does a TON of research, and starts making lists to organize and orientate himself.

Octavius is a Badger secondary. He has an official position of leadership, and is much, much more defined by his groups (his legion, "the glory of Rome") than Jed is. He immediately slots Larry into his personal hierarchy, even giving him a title - "My Liege" (Badgers love titles.) Also, not going to lie, he is kind of a kiss-ass. That, plus sweet-talking the Abraham Lincoln statue into coming to help... means we've got a Courtier Badger Secondary.

tl;dr

Larry Daley ~ Snake Bird

Jedidiah ~ Badger Lion

Octavius ~ Double Badger

[delma-z-dywanu]

LIL COWBOY AND ROMAN HEADCANNOND *v2*

(and maybe some descriptions, idk i just write what comes to my head)

Oct (since he is the stronger one, was a general AND an emparor of rome) always feels guilty when anything bad happens to Jed (or anyone of his friends/other minatures). He often bottels up his feelings, becouse he is scared of loosing his image as a strong and fearless leader. Jed is patient and tries his best to help Octo go through his traumas.

Oct has trobules sleeping alone (since he died in his sleep, all alone) so Jed (even tho he is an early riser, becouse he was an explorer) makes sure to stay by his side when he wakes up. (Octo also does not sleep long, since he had been an emparor and a general)

Jed is scared of bears, and animals that look simillar to them, becouse in his prevoius life he fought with a bear and nearly died (his skin was ripped of his face, and one of his partners had sewn it in place)

Octavius snores, and I mean it. He snores as loud as a thunderstorm. When Jed had slept at his place for the first time he thought someone was attacking the roman diorama

Octo teached Jed how to swim and read

Jed can play guitar well

Octavius cannot dance, Jed taught him some simple moves

Both men are scared of being alone. It has its roots down in their previous lives. Jed, an explorer, never got time to settle down, atacked by a bear, sewn together and a few days after the fight for his life, attacked by a Wild tribe, left to snowly bleed out on a grassland. Octo, a young boy on a throne with an empire to run, later a general, looking out for his pepole, having three wifes only for political benefits, expelling his own daughter away, feeling guilty about it until his final breath, dying alone in his sleep.

They were the toppers on their wedding cake

Before natm1 (when they were fighting every night) Octo broke Jed's nose at least 5 times

Octo has a lovely singing voice, but he doesn't show it off very often

When Jed proposed to Octavius, Octo laughed. Jed felt his heart shatter, thinking he had done something wrong, proposing to the roman. He tried getting up and running away, to hide and cry his heart out, but Octo saw his watering eyes and explained to him that he laughed becouse in his pocket was an engadgment ring aswell.

Jed loves to complement Octavius. Octavius on the other hand likes to tease the cowboy, becouse he thinks that he looks cute when flustered.

Octavius loves Jedediah's eyes, he complimentes them (and him) in latin

Jed tried to learn latin to suprise Oct, but it didn't go well

Jed knows how to draw maps, navigate and knows a lot about plants in the wild. He also knows a little bit of Spanish and mandarin from the other cowboys and his prevoius life.

Geez thats long, i hope it makes sense

[that-irishman-fan]

night at the museum jedtavius as dads to a daughter headcanons!

[ Full credit to the owners of the GIF and Night At The Museum, none of these characters are mine in any way! ]

FANDOM: Night At The Museum, 2006

GENRE: Headcanons, parenting au, LGBTQIA+, and fluff!

SYNOPSIS: What's its like being the daughter of Jedidiah and Octavius!

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Female coded reader, angst at some parts, and minor swearing, this is meant to be fluffy!

Notes: I started these headcanons with a daughter/female reader in mind, since that's how the idea popped into my head—but I am already planning out two other parts for a son/male coded reader and for a gender neutral set in the future. I realize it would be unfair to not follow up with similar ones, since I understand my audience is absolutely not exclusively women. So, keep a watch for parts two and three to come soon!

I also want to note quickly that there will be some worldbuilding sections I've included—just adding in some extra exhibits we don't see in the first movie as a sort of behind the scenes slash for plot thing. With that said, let's dive right in!

• Let's start by establishing your role in this situation. You'd be one of the full sized models on display, much like Teddy Roosevelt and Sacagawea ( take your choice as to what historical period, it doesn't really make a difference ). You arrived a while ago as a part of a brand new exhibit meant to reignite interest in the museum. Discombobulated, frightened, and frankly lonely, you searched for friends in this strange new place. It ended up being Jedidiah, the cowboy, and Octavius, the Roman general. Both were already lovers when you came around.

• Jedidiah and Octavius wanted to try their hand at raising kids together. But because of their plight of being tiny models, they'd given up on it. Your arrival was a dream come true. You three quickly had a found family dynamic, and sure enough they took you in as their daughter. You are perfect in their eyes in every way, an answer to all their prayers.

• They'd be your gay dads, with Teddy as a grandfather, Ahkmenrah an older brother, Sacagawea a mother figure, Attila the cool uncle, and all the others your friends. Soon, you found your place amongst the others.

• Both have their own pet names for you. Jedidiah calls you little lady, missy, and pumpkin. Octavius calls you mea columba ( my dove in Latin, since I have two years of it under my belt ), darling, and my princess. You call them by their actual names, or 'daddy' for Jed and 'father' for Octavius.

• I like to think they'd put emphasis on immersing you in their respective cultures. Giving you the best of both worlds, the Wild West and the Roman Empire.

• Jedidiah would show you all the classic cowboy staples— gunfights, rodeo, catching robbers, and playing songs by the campfire. You love it when he dazzles you with stories of outlaws, broncos, and especially cowgirls.

• Octavius would let you watch his army train, teaching you military strategy; not only that, but also attending senate meetings, participating in banquets, and telling you Roman myths and legends. If you gave your best shot at any of it, they'd be so proud of you. Just having your interest is reward enough, but if you actually did it yourself? They might just die of happiness right on the spot.

• Your dads love to hear about anything and everything that you're passionate about too! Please talk to them about whatever makes you excited, and they'll be as enthusiastic as you. They make a point to be interested since you try so hard for them.

• I get the vibe that Jedtavius are more free range parents in the sense that you're allowed to go anywhere in the museum you like. Outside is off limits, of course, which you understand. However, they are old fashioned. Not to the point of chaperoning, but cautious regardless. Jedidiah and Octavius are believers in women being treated with the utmost respect, they're very chivalrous. As such, they'll be on top of things to make sure you don't get hurt. With that said, they trust you to be responsible in your own right. They're just protective, you're their sweet baby girl after all. And God forbid anyone dare to lay a finger on you the wrong way.

• When morning comes, its hard for you to return to your place. You feel empty, almost lost, knowing you'll be gawked at come daylight. By yourself without them there. Sometimes, this can bubble up into small episodes. You'll feel resentful, crying bitter tears at times or just angry on others. Jedidiah and Octavius wouldn't leave your side until you were calm, both comforting you without a hint of judgment.

• " Aw, pumpkin, don't cry. S'alright, yer Daddy ain't goin' nowhere. We'll be right back where ya found us, ya hear? " Jedidiah would coo to you.

• " No more tears, fear not. It will pass once again as it always does. Our brave girl, my little princess. " Octavius would add on, gentle as his husband.

• Every night, the minute you'd come to life, you'd run as fast as you could to the Diorama Room to be reunited with them. They're your haven, your home, your safety net. After long days of noisy crowds and superficial cares, you're revitalized in their presence. And Jedidiah and Octavius are delighted to see you again, the hole in their hearts filled when your face appears.

• On to happier things now. Jedtavius are always ready to shower you in affection. I feel Jedidiah is the gruff type, his love language being praise, affirmations, and encouragement over physical gestures. Octavius is the opposite, being very tactile. For him, it's offering you hugs, soft touches, and gentle kisses. It's really ironic considering these guys are warriors in their own ways. Two macho men who are such softies for you.

• If you don't like physical contact, though, they respect that boundary completely. They're both so loving and supportive that you never have to worry about feeling neglected.

• The size difference poses an issue. You three have learned to work around it through trial and error. They may be small, but they have big hearts and an endless amount of love to give. You're definitely their soft spots, one could say weaknesses, but they have no shame over it. Not when it's you.

• I can imagine them being saddened by your insecurities, not able to understand why you don't see how special you are. It's not disappointment at you, rather pity for you. And they're quick to reassure you, genuine in every possible sense of the word.

• " Why's our precious lil' Y/N so down in the dumps? Ya know I hate seein' a frown on that dad gum pretty face of yers. Talk to us, why're ya beatin' up on yerself so hard? " Jedidiah would say, sitting you down in front of his diorama. At your shoulder level, he'd stand next to you, putting a tiny hand on your cheek.

• And you'd tell them everything on your mind. All the things bothering you. Neither of them would interrupt you once, letting you speak. Nor would they try to discount any of your feelings. But it does pain them to see you so sad.

• " We would not lie to you, daughter. When I say you are fairer than Venus, cleverer than Minerva, and braver than Diana, I mean it. For you are beautiful, you are intelligent, and you are strong. Most of all, you are you, as you are meant to be. " Octavius would tell you, his dark eyes adoring. His lips would touch your hand as if to further make his point.

• " And yer our girl no matter what. Yer daddy and yer father love ya, missy, even when ya go gettin' yerself into trouble. We wouldn't want nobody else as our daughter, yer all we could ever ask for. " Jedidiah would grin, patting you on your shoulder.

• Okay, now onto the stuff relatively separate from Jedtavius. In your free time when you're not hanging out with your dads, you get into plenty of mischief on your own with your fellow museum residents.

• Playing with Dexter and Rex in the Hall of African Mammals, surrounded by the jungle setting. The lions, elephant, gazelles, ostrich, and zebras don't mind you for some reason, and they're quite tame around you. You like to climb the display trees, cuddling with the snakes or swinging around with the monkeys. And playing fetch with Rex in the front lobby is always fun too.

• Teddy would take you on hunts, throwing you on the back of his horse. If you really wanted to, he'd even teach you to ride. Jedidiah was enormously proud when you showed up in the Diorama Room like an equestrian show rider.

• Sacagawea and you communicate through sign language. She likes to tell you many stories of her travels with Lewis and Clark, as well as legends from her own culture. You intently listen to each one, always raptured by the brilliant way she breathes life into the old tales.

• One time you tried to help the Neanderthals light their fire. It wasn't successful, but they welcomed you as a member of their family. You don't understand most of what they say, though you're always kind to them.

• Attila would teach you swordfighting, passing down all his wisdom as a master warrior. You two love to spar, often quite viciously to the point that Larry Daley has to tell you two to knock it off before you lop off each other's heads. Both you and Attila would be fascinated by magic tricks too, eager for Larry to show you a new one every shift he takes.

• Before he released Ahkmenrah from his sarcophagus prison, you made an effort to visit the pharaoh so he wasn't lonely. You two chatted well into the night about whatever came to mind; but you had a penchant for stories of his past in Ancient Egypt. You two have a platonic relationship characterized by him being wiser, more experienced, and far more worldly than you, your big brother who you've got wrapped around your finger.

• You also like to hang out in the other exhibits too. Watching the blue whale float idly in the Marine Room, singing its beautiful songs and you doing the same for it. You've danced to many a sea shanty with the model pirates, the favorite of Captain Blackbeard. The Kushite kings, Babylonian priests, Celtic bards, noble samurai, and Viking chieftains also enjoy your company, fascinated by your wits and amicable nature.

• I headcanon that the models can hear and see their surroundings during the day, they just can't interact with them in their frozen states. You've seen thousands of faces before in all your years in the museum, but the one you always like to see is that of Dr. McPhee, the curator. He's fussy, arrogant, and pompous from what you've heard, but you couldn't help your crush on him. You wished to get to know him more. For him to see you.

• Overall, life is fantastic for you in the museum. You've got Jedidiah and Octavius, all your friends, and a great big world in one small place to call your own.

Well, that's all I've got for right now! I hope I've done this justice. It was such a cool idea, and I couldn't resist dropping everything to jot down my thoughts on it. Once again, I am planning two other parts so as to be more inclusive to my fellow menfolk and out of the binary peeps! If you want to be included in a tag list for anything Night At The Museum or my other content, please drop a comment, and I'll add you from now on! Please have a fantastic rest of your week, and thank you SO much for all your likes, reblogs, comments, and interactions. It means the world to me!

[sunshinemoonrx]

since you've taught me so much already. top 5 characters from historical literature (i love the guys i've heard about so far)

Helllll yeah. Okay so a lot of these are gonna be "all right here's a pretty famous guy but did you know he was originally different and weird!" Folklore time let's goooooo

Honourable mention: All of Medieval Welsh Lit

This is a catch-all I'm using to stop all 5 of these entries from being this because I gotta cover places like Turkey and Ireland. There's still a couple dw. But there's so many more like Rhiannon, world's most magical snarky part-time ponygirl; Macsen Wledic, who everyone wants to be their ancestor, or wait this is a reflection of the historical would-be Roman emperor Magnus Maximus; Mabon ap Modron, world's specialest boy who does fuck all Oh Wait this is an ancient deity who was syncretised with Apollo? Neat! Okay actual entries Go

5. Robin Hood

This is a prime case of "in the original version..." I'm actually a big fan of the earliest medieval Robin Hood ballads we have, they're very fun bouncy little adventures and the middle English is just comprehensible enough that I can alternate between reading the original text and the translation. Did you know that it took a couple centuries for Robin to be turned into an exiled lord (to make him more palatable to a noble audience when they started making plays about him, he originated in songs and performances at country fairs), and he was a commoner fucking with the king before then? And that despite how much a "modern twist" it seems, Marian (who might have started as an unrelated character with her own adventures) beating him in a fight actually pre-dates the nobleman thing!

4. Battal Gazi

The absolute lad. A pulp adventure style hero from medieval Turkish epics sourced from the Byzantine frontier. There's a real cowboy adventure vibe to these. And they got made into a series of campy adventure films in the 50s! And he defeated one HUNDRED Romans with EACH swing of his sword and EVERYONE clapped (for real I'm pretty sure he kills Charlemagne in one of these)

3. Taliesin

The secret main character of medieval Welsh literature and poetry! An actual historical poet of the 6th century who became so famous that later medieval writers would write legends about him having magic bardic powers, write poems in his voice...which makes it hard to figure out what he actually wrote! But what can be sorta confidently attributed to him mostly consists of praise poetry for the north-British king Urien Rheged, which is...maybe a little romantic? He always ends them with

"And until I fail in old age,

in the sore necessity of death,

May I not be smiling,

If I praise not Urien."

Which is nice. Urien is the sneaky other subject of this--he's also a really interesting guy halfway between history and legend, subject of a whole bunch more poetry and hegemon of his while region. His son, Owain, possibly fought in the famous battle of the Gododdin, was written as the leader of hundreds of giant magical ravens, and finally got absorbed into continental Arthurian legend as 'Yvain'

2. Cai the Fair

Speaking of Arthur! I'm a big fan of the original version based in Welsh folklore, a wandering warrior prior to his transformation into a chivalric king. Similarly, some of his knights started as companions of the original version, and my favourite is the counterpart of Sir Kay. In later and mainstream Arthuriana he's the jackass who exists to get clowned on to show how cool Lancelot or whoever is, but this is actually because he started off as Arthur's best guy, so in anime rival tradition, showing him up is an easy way to establish your cool new OC. The original Cai can grow giant, has both heat and cold powers, can survive underwater for weeks...he slays all kind of giants, fights a giant cat, and then he does one giant slaying in a slightly sneaky way and Arthur (who is sometimes called a "frivolous bard") sings a mean song about him and he swears never to help him again. Oops!

He's also a bit gay with it--he's often paired with Bedwyr (source of Sir Bedivere), they love questing together and swear by each other, Cai was heartbroken when he died...

1. Cú Chulainn

The BOY. My GUY

The central hero of most of the Ulster cycle, you may know him from Fate. But the Fate version is less weird and less anime than the medieval version!! This Cú is a weird little trans-coded twink with three-coloured hair, seven-coloured eyes, a bunch of named special moves and an epic duel to the death with his boyfriend.

He's such a fucked up little guy! He's the perfect product and also the perfect victim of the glory-obsessed warrior culture he exists in, he's driven to destroy himself and everyone around him by a constant terror of not being the best at all times, he's so...arrrrrgh. he's the guy!! He's an extremely bad person to be clear. I love him. Sometimes he gets so worked up into a warrior's frenzy he generates a flaming aura that can melt snow and has to be dunked in cold water to chill out! I have like three writing projects in the works that are basically "Cú Chulainn for lesbians". Highest honour I can bestow

[lavender-at-heart]

Hihi! Could I request some headcannons of how Jedediah and Octavius would react to a new nightgaurd that is interested in both of them? Would they end up bickering even more or would they intentionally try and get along more? How open are they about their feelings towards the nightgaurd and how obvious to others is it how they feel? Do they have any special gestures they end up doing to try and show their personal affection? Things like that please :)👍❤️

Jᴇᴅ + Oᴄᴛᴏ ʜᴄ's

K first off I wanna say I'm so sorry for taking so long I have not checked my inbox in the longest time 🙏 hope it's not too late.

Warnings:

----------------------------------------------------

Being a night gaured in a magical museum is hard enough

Having two miniatures fight over you is ever harder

It starts off as a joke on your behalf

Jed and Octavious were some of the first friends you made at the museum, they offered to give you tours and introduce you to the other exhibits

Jed and Octo would be super shocked at the stark contrast between you and the previous gaurds

You were a lot younger, a lot prettier, a lot nicer, always making light jokes and suggestive comments

And that's where you went wrong (or right). Being from a modern generation its normal to make suggestive jokes and use crude language and humor.

Sometimes you'd make little comments like " Wow that hat makes you look so handsome Jed" or "my you really are a brave general Octavious"

And you think their not gonna become mega infatuated with you? Yeah right

Octavious immediately insists on being your personal gaurd when you make the rounds, sometimes siting on your shoulder, keeping watch, sometimes always a few feet ahead to spot any danger

He would swear oaths to protect you in Minervas name

He would quote Roman poetry and compare you to the sun and moon

Jedediah would give you miniature bouquets and collect other things for you. Oh Ahkmenrah isn't liking his ring anymore? Well it would look just great on your finger. He would offer to walk with you, keep you company.

He would sing you old country songs about true love and the good old days

Obviously the animosity between the two grows so much more becuase of you

Jed will tie Octavious up with rope so he can't go join you on your walk

Octavious will send his army to destroy the western exhibit

They'll fight all the time, trying to assassinate eachother becomes a nightly occurance

And obviously it makes you sad, the two people you get along with most end up hating eachother

They will desperately try and prove to you why the others better

"Jeez, I mean you don't want to be bothered by this dusty old schmuck." Jed is definitely more forward but has that southern charm yknow?

"I am appalled that you would even dare to befriend this ungrateful, insolent peasant. He speaks to you in such an inappropriate manner and does not give you the proper respect you deserve."

Eventually they bicker so so much that even Teddy has gotten annoyed by it, so you step in

You tell them that if they keep fighting you'll end up hating both of them and go find someone else to spend time with

So they reluctantly agree

They both patrol the halls with you

They both enjoy siting on your shoulders, mostly becuase then they can't see eachother

But to be honest forcing them to hang out with eachother makes them slowly build their own friendship

Like they might do a joint valentines day gift, you know, combine forces so you have a better experience. It's only to benefit you (totally not becoming friends)

You feel like you could tell them anything, and they would just sit there and listen. They find modern human life so so fascinating

And you ask them for stories too of course. You ask about cowboy life and the glory of Rome, you can tell they both (Octavious especially) love talking and telling stories about the glory days.

[brisquad-unit-4402]

okay lots of post-minotaur thoughts. i really should’ve liveblogged but Whatever, these are very disorganized because i’m hopping in-between different parts of the movie as well as the 3d celebration zatsu

i think a lot of folks have picked this up: this is the vtuber bo burnham inside

the entire time i watched this i was like “man how come i can’t have an expansive mind palace to roam within”

bc uhhh. idk if this is the same for you or anyone else out there. but when i think about myself doing something it’s in first person, never actually my imagination conjuring up a Unit 4402 doing the something

and that sidetracked me so hard during how to get away with murder bc MAN i wish whenever i had mental breakdowns over my character i could imagine myself as a quirked up unit 4402 with a little bit of swag busting it down sexual style while i have 4 clones of myself goated with the sauce

i’ve never seen the joker but i’m pretty sure the how to get away with murder dance is vtuber joker dance

it is so awkward watching the post 3d zatsu rn and seeing people in chat miss the point

especially bc i think the thing that most got to me and affected me was the classroom scene. such a relatable foundation, especially for people like us, the nightmare of Being Wrong in front of everyone else and an authority who are in the loop and you’re the only one out

like. that’s actually insidious. incredibly effective way to deliver the ugly parts of the job: who doesn’t want to know everything about what they love even if parasocial. i’m sure we can all recognize the boundaries of how to interact with streamers and i do hope if you’re on my blog it’s with respect to the streamers, but the intrusiveness, lack of privacy, goddamn. the conditioning of vox sitting at the desk as soon as he can

i really do think the horse is the most british thing i’ve ever seen

i… am trying very hard not to be pretentious about the horse, and i am trying very hard not to be praising a vtuber because the initial reaction is to praise them innately, but i really do think that is peak surrealism and i could make a full post on this scene alone. like, on a metatextual level. times new roman 12pt double spaced d-o-n-t t-e-s-t m-e

ok update i’ve been informed about the peter the horse is here meme. i stand by my words

i’m going to be real i’m replaying the first scene a lot just because i… really cannot understand this without subtitles

i know we’re all laughing along with every cowboy luca line but we need to recognize the understated champion: shu “naw”

WAIT IM SKIPPING THROUGH SOME SCENES TO CATCH THINGS IVE MISSED. THE FUCK YOU MEAN THE TAKEOUT BOX IN HIS FRIDGE IS CHICKEN DICKNOCKERS

also oooooh. i get it now. “sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i didn’t care all that much” is a driving line for the film. everything that unfolds is a consequence OF caring too much and just enough. the fact that the bed’s been made and he has to lie in it. by the end this line doesn’t matter because he’s learned to accept his nature. and if you wanted to get paradoxical he’s learned to not care about that line

i wish i understood the words in lyrics the first time i hear them. someone give me a transcript, i’ll be unstoppable then

the second i saw the text for Inside A Demon’s Soul (Whenever Vox Akuma Devours A Human Soul, This Is Where They Go) i paused. sat there. and laughed so hard because that is maybe the easiest meme format i’ve ever seen in the the same way as everything everywhere all at once rock scene. put a white shape over the text, write down the time stamp. now you have a banger man standing that follows the standard top text bottom text base formula

when he stood up in the forest at the beginning of the labyrinth i really did see a minecraft Vox_Akuma joined the game banner in my mind’s eye

vox please drop the ost as soon as possible i need he who waits eternity and how to get away with motherfucking murder in my playlists asap

also how to get away with murder reminds me a little introvert by little simz. hard to describe, i think it’s because they both sound so spacious and be these long, introspective songs that never really Feel like they’re dragging on because of all the beat changes and stuff, you know? vox’s rap isn’t helping

i cannot end this post without talking about

THE INDOMITABLE FULGUR OVID BABYYYYYY

the way i furrowed my brow the SECOND i saw that hand

the way i yelled the second i saw his face

hehe. despite everything i am dearly a comfydant. i can’t think of anyone better than fuuchan for the beach scene, i’m so grateful he’s here

i mentioned “sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i didn’t care care all that much.” i now raise you “of course it matters, it matters to you… brother the only thing that would make you a bad person is letting that stop you from doing any good things”

and of course the hug

idk what to say about the hug. it’s very needed. and from fuu of all people who understands integrating lore and streaming, understands the divide, pretended to beef with vox only to become one of his close friends, i really can’t imagine it with anyone else

do you guys think box tenshi is Apathy. i think i’ll need to sit on it for a bit but i’m seeing some threads about how tenshi is what happens when that takes over and vox chooses not to care about the people he’s hurt for his own comfort. after all his character is entirely on balancing the little delights and missteps of humanity, and the nature of a predator demon. i’m sure i could elaborate later on

should i, like, be critical…? because i do have things that i’m critical about, but this was a very delightful watch and it’s changed me fundamentally

i like vtubers because of the balance between fantasy and real and this movie very much does cater from that. all media requires the suspension of disbelief but with the way minotaur is delivered it kind of toys with Suspension of Disbelief as in-verse environment, too. fandom, anti, and collective opinion are their own characters in this movie and that just cannot be captured in a medium like fictional, scripted entertainment, you know… it’s very bo burnham inside. but the difference is that inside is everyday people would assume these expectations. as vtuber watchers we’ve full-on experienced the good and bad ourselves. i mean… how many times have you said your opinion on vox online. seems someone act weird in chat. i write fanfiction, i contribute to expectation too because i participate in fandom. that’s just the natural effect of being an internet personality, so the least we can do is be respectful of it and be critical of ourselves so we can maintain that respect to each other and the streamer

but i guess that’s preachy of me vox illustrated the point on his own wonderfully

i could do cornell notes on this movie

[creative-soul-22]

I watched all 3 Night at the Museum movies!

1. I liked all 3 movies, they were all good!

2. They were all really funny, I laughed a lot!

- Favourite movie:

Hard to tell, but I maybe the second one. Yeah I guess I liked that one best.

- Favourite Character(s):

Jedediah! He's such a cool cowboy and such a buddy you could hang out and really have a good time with him. He's def the one who invites his friends to the saloon (imagine him and Octavius at the Saloon). And of course, I know he hates it (sorry, Jed) he's tiny and cute and I would totally cuddle and kiss him and adore him because he's a small figurine! (@professional-termite would snatch him and run away because tinyyyyy boiiii)

Very close second is Akmenrah! He is a very distinguished, elegant son of a pharao and he is really kindhearted. I like him.

Teddy Rosewelt! He is so caring and such a father to everyone it's heartmelting. Robin Williams, may he rest in peace, was the perfect cast for him because, well, that's how I always saw Robin Williams. As a loving, caring father who encourages others and wants to make everyone feel special and who is there for others when they have a problem (maybe because he was always casted for these roles?).

- Favourite relationship(s):

Larry's and Jedediah's friendship! They are such bros and they really care for each other, it's so cute!

Jedediah's and Octavius' friendship! I know you ship them, and I totally understand why. I see it. But for me it's more like Jed and Octavius ARE a little in love with each other, and maybe would want to make out BUT also don't want to change their relationship so they decide to be bros. It's bromance. Brotherhood with a romantic touch (That's just how I see it please don't kill me!!!).

The exhibits and Larry growing to a big found family!

- What I liked:

The opening scene of Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb

How natm 3 adressed the "returndiscussion" (as we call it in Germany). It might never went beneath the surface (which is indeed a bit of a pity but it's okay), but still it adressed and paid attention to it. And that's important because this has become a thing for museums nowadays (gonna put this in a seperate post for further discussion/explanation)

The whole lore/story arch about the tablet

Jed and Octavius in Pompeii (I just wish it wouldn't have been by the time it went down because they were finally in a place in the right size for them and they would have really enjoyed Roman citylife, especially Octavius, he almost felt home there)

The opening show for the new planetarium because it's magical (I just wish it wouldn't have been interrupted by the tablet loosing it's magic causing everyone to glitch)

Amelia Earheart's adventurous spirit (she's just an AU Giselle, not only, but mostly because it's Amy Adams)

Abraham Lincoln (I wish he and Teddy had met!)

Dick van Dyke! It's always a pleasure seeing him so this was a nice surprise. Pretty sure it was the best day of their life for the residents of the retirement home when Dick van Dyke came in to dance with them to "Shake your booty".

Everytime Dexter was cute with Larry or anyone else (hugs!!)

Akmenrah's mum, she is pretty

Ben Kingsley playing Akmenrah's dad (that wasn't the only time Ben played a pharao, right? He played a pharao in another movie? Can't put my finger on it rn)

Akmenrah being together with mumy and daddy after 4,000 (?) years

All 3 movies ending with a party - creates a full circle

The Night at the Museum main theme (epic!)

The little bird-thingy before the xiangliu (forgot it's name but it's cute)

Somebody listening to Abba's Dancing Queen on the bus

Jed and Octavius using the internet/phones (the machine for the comments! Commentmachine!)

- What I didn't like:

Everytime Dexter was peeing on somebody/something (Ewwww!)

Everytime Dexter was mischivious

The way the museum director was depicted (seriously, what was that? Messiest character arch ever - if there even WAS a character arch?)

The solution to the problem with the tablet (for real guys that thing looses it's magic and all it takes to fix is to put it in MOONLIGHT?! Okay then how about you put it on the roof of the museum like a solar panel so it can charge like a glow in the dark sticker everytime the moon shines on a starry night?)

The museum director holding the tablet at the end of natm 3 whilst grinning like Dexter (seriously, after what we've seen from him, he knows what the tablet can do - which is no longer in HIS museum - and you're telling me he's not up to SOMETHING?? I'm not buying it.)

The tablet staying in the British Museum (I know they want Akmenrah and his parents to be together and I really like it BUT how do you explain this to the Museum? "Oh, we're leaving the mummy and it's tablet here, you know, the mummy's their son so we think it's nice for the family to be united. They might be very precious artefacts but we'll present them to you. You can have them.")

The ceremony being interrupted by the corroding tablet which caused the exhibits to glitch (this was the ONLY! moment of glory for Larry and the exhibits in public and it turned into a disaster - heartless filmmakers!)

Tilly's and Larry's cringey talk when we first meet her (annoying! Also, her name is Tilly... Jennifer Tilly namedrop here!)

Jed being picked up like a kitten (ruuuude!! And humilliating!)

- What I found hilarious:

The notion of dinosaurs just being doggos who want to catch sticks might not be historically accurat but it's totally funny

The cuts everytime Jed and/or Octavius did something epic to demonstrate how small they actually are (although it's a bit rude)

Octavius in the pillory and Jed watching it like "ooh"😎 by the time the sun has come up so they stand there until the sun goes down

Abraham Lincoln snatching Kamunrah's army as if they were pigeons and them disapearing to where they came from just like "Nah. We're out."

Jed in the cage like a little birdy (although I feel sorry for him but he looks just like a little titmouse in there - yeah, @professional-termite : snatched again!!)

[animatedhh-shenanigans]

| INSUFFERABLE INTRODUCTION

Good day to anyone who has stumbled upon this blog, for this blog holds a little niche interest of mine: Animated/Illustrated Horrible History characters !

This blog will all be about the little historical cartoon characters that would appear in the middle of your daily dose of 2009 CBBC Horrible Histories, or perhaps on the book cover of the Horrible Histories book your reading ! (The characters that no one really thought nor cared about)

If the the topics I’ve mentioned above engrosses you, then hop along and check out the FASCINATING FUNFACTS, SILLY STORIES, CRUEL CHARACTERS, AND PLENTY MORE TO COME !

| TERRIBLE TOPICS

Topics and ideas that I will (most likely) talk about often are …

ANIMATED (2009 CBBC) HORRIBLE HISTORY CHARACTERS

HORRIBLE HISTORIES BOOK COVER CHARACTERS

CRABBY CLASH (My Horrible Histories AU)

Martin Brown (Illustrator of Horrible Histories)

Horrible Histories art

Horrible Histories (in general)

This blog will also be a little roleplay blog, you can ask any animated Horrible History character anything in the inbox ! (Well not ANY thing, just don’t be weird.)

| THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW

I will be addressing the characters by their fanon/canon names time to time, and so if you ever get confused which character I’m referencing to, you can check out the CHARACTER NAME LIST !

When I post my HH art, most of the time it’ll be in Martin Brown’s Art style/Horrible Histories Art style; I do NOT “own” the art style nor do I profit/make money off of it. I really love Martin Brown’s art and I enjoy drawing in his style BUT I do not claim it as my own art style.

HHAC = Horrible History Animated Characters

This blog is ran by a MINOR ! Don’t be weirdo >:-(

| CRABBY CLASH

“What is it anyways ?”

Crabby Clash is a Horrible Histories AU that centers around the historical eras/periods going to war against each other, it focuses more on the cartoon HH characters rather than the non-animated ones like Bob Hale, Sam, Cliff Whiteley, etc … BUT they are in fact canon in the AU !

It’ll be mentioned here on this blog at times, just not that often (because I am shy and I don’t come up with ideas often) !!

In the Crabby Clash (also known as the “Era War”), there are 6 sides composed of different historical eras that have formed an alliance.

IN ALLIANCE:

“United Steam Front” (Frightful WWI, Woeful WWII, Blitzed Brits, Troublesome 20th century, Vile Victorians)

“Primordial Pact” (Angry Aztecs, Incredible Incas, Savage Stone Age)

“Floral Fortress” (Awesome Egyptians/Awful Egyptians, Groovy Greeks, Smashing Saxons)

“British Isles Compact” (Slimy Stuarts, Gorgeous Georgians)

“Crusader Coalition” (Stormin’ Normans, Measly Middle Ages)

“Imperial Triumph” (Terrible/Terrifying Tudors, Radical Renaissance, Rotten Romans)

NOT IN AN ALLIANCE:

Vicious Vikings

Fabulous French

(Awesome USA) Cowboys (Part of it have alliances with “United Steam Front”)

Putrid Pirates

Cut-Throat Celts

You’ll learn more about this AU in future posts !

| EPILOGUE

I ran out of things to mention but thanks for reading and I hope you’re willing to see more animated HH posts and content from me ! :-D (I will update this introduction time to time)

[the-lonelyshepherd]

when are your cowboys’ birth dates/years/stuff? also are they religious/superstitious or what they think happens when u die… i want to know more about them

hi!!!! tysm for asking about them grinnn

for birth years…… i will be so honest they don’t have set years at ALL because the storyline has shifted in timeline at least twice . currently it’s the late 1860s (and i think i am planning on sticking with this), so with cat and shay both being somewhere like 17/18 around the beginning of the story, their birthdays would likely be in the late 1840s or early 1850s. shay’s birthday is probably sometime in april just off of vibe and cat’s is probably going to be somewhere in october/november/december.

for religion this is a fun one!!!

catalina has been catholic (specifically roman catholic) from the very first concept of her character and i am planning on sticking with that. she’s not like…. avid but she does still believe in life after death and so on. which gets fucked with a little later but in an interesting way

shay is like. technically protestant? like her family is protestant visibly (coming from north ireland/england from her father and mother respectively) . but her family doesn’t really practice besides what is like. expected of a good family and because of that she doesn’t really care all that much. she doesn’t seem like the kind of person to want to think about death a lot. which is why i throw it at her really hard

tysm for asking grinnnnn please lmk if you have anymore questions i love talking about them and these are so insightful