#I love this format. Actually the solution to all my problems.

[hyperfixatedbastard]

Hi i hope you doing well. I have a resquest... more like a headcanon. What if Adam was a dad ? What his behaviour will be ? Does he be a good or a bad father ?

I understand if you don't do it. I don't want to force you for something you don't want to.

Dadam (Dad!Adam) Headcanons

we bringing out the daddy issues on this one boys

WARNINGS: none

A/N: I haven't done a headcanon type of post yet, but they're easier to write than regular one shots and I'm too tired for that shit. The request didn't specify what kind of Reader (spouse or child), so I just went with general headcanons that don't specify the Reader at all. Insert yourself as you wish!

Also, thank you all for your patience! It's been very busy for me lately and I've been too exhausted to write much, so expect a lot more of these kinds of posts (the formatting is easier and I don't have to write a bunch of dialogue lol).

Dividers

As the father of humanity, Adam had...a lot of kids. The guy lived for 800+ years just populating the earth. That's a LOT of kids. We all know how the first two turned out. That is, not fuckin' well. To be honest, I don't think Adam valued his children. It was just kinda... a thing he had to do. (When Abel died and Cain got exiled, he fr just went and had another kid to replace them.) But I am in deep, deep denial and this is for my enjoyment as someone with severe daddy issues. So fuck all that.

At first, Adam is 100% the guy that freaks the fuck out when he finds out he knocked someone up. That man is SWEATING. He's actually pretty chill if it's someone he's in an established long-term relationship with, though. He still freaks the fuck out, but to a significantly lesser degree and with a much smaller chance of up and leaving. Once he's over the initial shock, he's shocked to find that he's kind of excited. Back when he was alive, having kids was just normal because it was such a common occurrence.

This man knows every little detail about pregnancy and infants. With the amount of kids he's had? He has seen it ALL. Sure, all his information is thousands of years old, but knowledge learned through experience is super valuable when it comes to this shit! He doesn't know what the fuck a uterus is, but he knows exactly how to make his partner the most comfortable, how to deal with cravings, etc. If his partner has a problem, he's got a solution. It might be a fuckin' weird one, but it works! He'll probably grumble and complain, but he doesn't actually mean it. Bitching is just his thing, y'know? But... pregnancy hormones + Adam's douchebag-ness = feelings getting hurt. If his partner starts crying because of some shit joke or complaint he made? He's scrambling so fast. "Shit, babe, fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, fuckfuckfuck, don't cry—"

Once the baby is born, he definitely surprises literally everyone but his partner by actually doing helpful shit. Changing diapers? Easy fuckin' peasy (he does watch a tutorial online because he doesn't know how tf modern diapers work but he's a fast learner) Feeding? No problemo. Getting up in the middle of the night to do both of those things? His sleep schedule's already fucked, this shit ain't new.

When it comes to parenting and raising the kid, though... that's definitely where Adam struggles. He'd struggle with bonding. A lot. Adam mostly talks about things that you really shouldn't say around children, much less bond over. I think he'd be better at just letting the kid ramble while he's just sitting there, fully engrossed in whatever bullshit his child is saying. He's not just passively listening with little 'uh-huh's and nods, this man is active in the discussion. Have you ever heard a small child speak? They say the most random shit ever, and Adam would love it. It's peak entertainment to him. Even if it's just incoherent babbling, he'll have full-on conversations with this baby.

He'd definitely have some shared interests as the kid gets older. I think Adam's favorite shows/movies are a mix of action movies and shit like Power Rangers. He's not ashamed of it either—'fuck you, the Power Rangers are fuckin' cool.' This also goes for video games. I know that man is a toxic COD gamer boy and you can't prove me wrong. Basically, the only thing that keeps him from becoming one of those husbands that locks himself away in a man cave to play video games is the fact that he can game with his kid.

And once they get into school, he just gets really invested in the drama. Elementary school drama is such bullshit, and it'd be the best reality TV he's ever seen. "Oh, don't tell me—it's that bitch Cindy. The fuck did that little shit do this time?" He'd be gasping like it's a damn soap opera. 'Oh no she didn't!' kinda vibe.

He'd talk so much shit around his kid about the parents of their classmates, the teachers, anyone. Then the kid would repeat it and Adam would get sat down in the office with his kid like: "Your child said, and I quote, 'My dad says your mom's a bitch.'" "What? She fuckin' is." And yeah, he's not wrong - some of those parents are fucking nightmares.

If his kid got in trouble for fighting, his reaction would depend on the situation. If it was unprovoked and/or a part of bullying, he'd originally laugh it off but would be freaking the fuck out internally. He's probably a little traumatized by what happened with Cain and Abel. But if the fighting was an act of defense (whether of themselves or someone else) he would be the proudest dad ever. Fist-bumps his kid in the office in full view of the principal.

You cannot trust this man to give his kid the sex talk. It just will not go well. Like, if his kid needs advice when they're older (basically anything beyond 'where do babies come from') then he's your guy, but it's still gonna be awkward and uncomfortable. He'd probably have Lute handle most of those issues just so he doesn't have to know about his kid's sex life but can still trust that they have a responsible(?) adult if they have questions.

In terms of where Adam is lacking as a parent, there's a few areas in particular to focus on.

Emotional availability? Not his strong suit. At all. He can't deal with his own feelings, let alone his kid's. Most of the emotional support will be coming from his partner. That doesn't mean he doesn't try. But he can't show it with words all that well. He'll show emotional support in other ways—quality time, gifts, and acts of service for the most part. Like going out for ice cream, watching a movie, etc.

He's not good with discipline. To him, everything's no big deal. If his kid hasn't killed their sibling, that's good enough for him! Generally, his partner will choose when/how to discipline (with Adam's input ofc), but Adam's job is to just enforce it/not overrule it. He's 100% the type to be sneaky about it tho. If his kid is grounded, he'll go out with them to give them a break from being stuck in the house, y'know, stuff like that. Because of this, his kid forms a closer, different kind of bond than with Adam's partner. It's more friendly, I guess is the word? Like, his kid won't go to him for actual helpful advice, but if they fuck up somehow or are in a bad situation that they kinda got themselves into (drinking, car accident, etc.), then Adam is the parent they call.

I think Adam's peak parenting era would be when his kid is a late teen/young adult. 'Cause then he can actually be himself, for the most part. His personality is not very kid-friendly, so once his kid isn't really much of a kid anymore—he is so fucking excited. His relationship with his kid would be a lot more unconventional as they grow older. Like, he's really close with his kid once they're an adult. (totally not basing this off my relationship with my mom) His advice would be shit, but he'd give it if his kid needed it!

Definitely the type to text his kid more often than most parents. Mostly because he texts more like them and has the same sense of humor. Lots of shitty memes.

Also!! I think Adam would definitely make time for his partner. Date nights are a must. His kid better get comfortable with sleepovers at friends' houses or getting babysat by Emily 'cause he ain't letting parenthood fuck up his sex life.

I think that's all I got. Not sure how to end this so uh... shoutout to all you bitches with daddy issues lmao

Taglist: @little-miss-chaoss @fakeguysarehot @3sire-777

[muzansfangs]

Hello. Its been a while since i saw that giant aizen requests in some bleach fan page i want hear your thought about this (MAN that's the craziest thing EVER but also its fun😅)

There is a community called G/T(means giant/tiny its sfw and it can have fearplay or fluff or even both)

i think imagining aizen in this case will be anyone's nightmare but still cool😏😁

Giant Aizen Sosuke and how his condition would affect his relationship with his significant other.

Starring: Aizen Sosuke x f!reader;

Format: head canons;

Warnings: fluff, some fear play and Aizen being the absolute menace he has always been;

Plot: If Aizen Sosuke was a giant, what would happen to his relationship with his significant other? Would his behavior change overall? What could happen to the world? Would his condition be detrimental to his plans?

Author note: It is rather rare for me to put the ‘author note’ on the top of my works, but since I am unfamiliar with this field and community, I felt like apologizing ahead of time if I have not centered the topic. I did not plan to write this request now, I have already written down a list of works with ‘TOP PRIORITY’ to take care of, but when the right inspiration for something strikes me… Well, guys, you know me. I have to write down whatever crosses my mind. As per usual, feedback is greatly appreciated, especially from people who might have experience with this scenario!

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

• Aizen Sosuke is already a menace with his standard height. Now, if he was a giant, what do you think would happen? Oh, guys, world domination is coming. Nothing could ever stop this man from achieving his goals and I believe his condition would make it actually easier for him to literally squash down onto the concrete his opponents, seeing them as nothing but ants.

• Destroying things and enemies with a snap of his fingers became an hobby for him. He did not even had to wield his sword, most of the times. Thus made his confidence boost, naturally.

• Albeit he constantly needs to calibrate his strength, or else he is going to demolish everything around him, Sosuke mantains his grace and he does not need to put much effort into reducing the impacts of his limbs on his surroundings. It comes natural to him.

• Expect a lot of sassy comebacks from him, when Yamamoto or Ichigo try to slash at him. A shit-eating grin plastered over his face, he would literally swat them away like flies. Amusement rather than annoyance filling his eyes.

• “Midges are truly pests, don’t you agree, darling?”.

• Obviously, he actually becomes the Soul King and haa no qualms about anyone, but you. Always by his side, nestled into his pocket, he never leaves you alone. He can not risk his enemies hurting you, his most precious thing. Wherever he goes, you follow him. Maybe it would be more appropriate saying he would ‘carry you’ with him. Literally.

• This giant villain would give you the moon, if you wanted it. There is nothing he could not provide you with in his regular form. Just imagine whatn he would be able to do if he was a giant. He could literally eradicate the Eiffel Tower from Paris to give it to you. Your wish is his command.

• I believe he would be a little scared of hurting you. Stroking your cheeks and hair was not that easy what just his finger could break your spine. Sosuke was extra careful in touching you, but this would not be much of a problems. Years of experience helped him to adapt himself to the situation. There are times, though, when he would love nothing more than to hold you in his arms, nose buried into the crook of his neck. While it could be impossible to ever be involved into a tight embrace, Sosuke would work day and night for a solution: making you a giant too would solve a lot of problems after all.

• While you were frankly scared as Hell at the thought of going through such an invasive practice, forcing your body to transform into a larger one, challenging biology and human limits, he was a smooth talker and he persuaded you to let him try to turn you into a giant. He was a brilliant man, after all, he knew what he was doing. Also, the incentive of finally experiencing his hugs was enough to make you agree with his plan.

• Sosuke is not a man keen to lose control. Yet, when he does, his shouts literally make the ground shake and your body tremble in fear. You knew he would have never hurt you, but you feared his rage. His power, his reiatsu were amplified and all you could do not to evaporate, victim of a tragic and collateral damage, was running away as fast as you could, looking for shelter somewhere in your Fortress.

• “I will miss the tiny version of you. There is something endearing in having such a deep connection with you, a fragile being, that almost made me desist from committing atrocities” he whispered once, while holding you in the palm of his hand.

• While everybody feared him, you did not. Loving him came natural to you, his edges never scared you, not even a bit. How could you be scared when someone as powerful and cruel as him watched over you when you were asleep and got rid of anything that generated fears and insecurities in you?

AUTHOR NOTE.

Hello there! Geez, I hope that was not that bad! In that case, forgive me.

Until next,

X O X O

[swordfright]

What do you think is your most controversial dsmp take?

I got this ask a while ago and I've been wracking my brains trying to come up with something, but honestly...I don't think I really have many hot takes? At least, not ones that I'd consider controversial. Most of my controversial takes are about fanon/how the fandom interacts with the source material, which I assume isn't what you're looking for (but BOY DO I HAVE A LOT OF THOSE.) I also have likes and dislikes when it comes to duos and shipping stuff, but that's subjective obviously and more opinion than lore interpretation.

I guess if you put a gun to my head, I might say these are my most controversial Actual Lore Takes, but they're not all that interesting imo:

The experiments in the revival lab happened AFTER c!Dream's incarceration, not before it. My understanding is that most people interpret that sequence as occurring prior to the incarceration because...why would c!Dream let himself be locked up, relying on his knowledge of the book to be his life insurance, if he hadn't tested the damn thing out yet?! This logic tracks, but I think you could also flip it to argue the opposite: that he also could have conceivably waited to fully test the book until after escaping. During the run-up to the Disc Finale, c!Dream was incredibly busy with the fallout from Dethronement + Exile + Manburg related stuff etc, as well as busy preparing for the confrontation with c!Clingys, plus arranging the staged finale with Punz. The guy was busy as hell and he was also like...still kinda in the midst of a manic episode. Also, keep in mind that while the book was his life insurance for the finale and its immediate aftermath, he had no idea that c!Sam was going to betray him. Considering all that, I don't think it's inconceivable that c!Dream may not have had time to thoroughly test the limits of the revive book beforehand, and he likely didn't realize quite how vital his knowledge of revival would become during his incarceration period. So yeah. I'm open to either interpretation, but I am partial to the possibility that the Vikk and Lazar necromancy montage happened after the prison era. And the exact date/location of the lab are never specified either, which makes me even more open to the post-prison necromancy option. Not a hill I'd be willing to die on, but a hill I like to sit on and admire the view from.

End of Las Nevadas is the weakest stream of the Las Nevadas series. I found it narratively unsatisfying, and not in a clever way. I don't hate that stream, I think it had some really interesting moments, but overall I'd say its messaging was convoluted and the tension was pretty poorly mismanaged. I'd be willing to go on about this if you want, but I think a lot of other folks have probably already articulated it better than I can. Oh, I'll add that I also have complicated thoughts about c!Slime as a character. Don't hate him, don't love him...but I am puzzled about the role he was presumably meant to play in the story vs. the role he actually ends up playing. I could go on about this in detail but it's late and I'm sleepy.

c!Quackity has very simple goals and motives, but his pursuit of those goals is oftentimes way more convoluted than necessary, which ends up making him read as a more complex and dynamic character than he really is (I like this btw!) Another way to put it would be that Q is not a terribly complex character in terms of motivations and ambitions (dr3 has rly good meta on this btw), but he does tend to needlessly complicate his own life and the lives of the people around him in pursuit of simple goals. I think one of his big failings is that he sees violence as an easy solution to his problems but in reality it just creates more problems for him. It's like he keeps failing some sort of foresight check, over and over again. Take the formation of Las Nevadas, for instance. Most of the country's members were intimidated/threatened into joining, not because they're people Q particularly wants to hang around with, but because they're people Q sees as either strong (i.e. they are capable of contributing to LN) or directionless (i.e. they're in need of an owner a leader.) Quackity doesn't really forge alliances, he just...buys people, basically? And then he's shocked when this backfires. His relationship with Purpled is the most obvious example of this, but also LN as a whole: in LN5 (?), Quackity's angry and offended and hurt that only a tiny handful of people show up to the opening ceremony, even though by all accounts the reason the turn-out isn't bigger is because the server has by this point become a chaotic and violent place where anything can happen to anyone for any reason and most inhabitants feel safer sticking to their own turf...and that atmosphere of chaos and violence is something Q has ostensibly contributed to, even before Pandora. c!Quackity creates a country that no one is truly loyal to, inhabited by people who are closer to employees than allies...and then his solution, when he realizes nobody really gives a shit, isn't to try recruiting people in a more equitable way, it's to bioengineer a slime army. That is insane. That is an insane way to solve your problems. In no way is bioengineering a slime army a normal or well-adjusted solution to any conceivable problem. This is what I mean when I say he's a relatively uncomplicated character who complicates everything - he's constantly jumping through hoops of fire to avoid changing his behavior and taking any kind of accountability whatsoever.

I have tons more takes but they're mostly about silly subjective stuff and/or fanon, so I'll leave that for another day if anyone's interested.

[vikenticomeshome]

A Compilation of Official Cyberchase Polls (part 1/?)

Hello all,

While I was digging around in the Wayback Machine for old versions of the Cyberchase website, I was able to dig up some old polls that they put out for Earthlies. There are a few distinct eras of polls that evolved as the website evolved.

The first format features Dr. Marbles and some bar-graph based machine. I was only able to get two of them to load from this area, though the Wayback machine suggests that there are more archived.

The earliest archived instance that I could find was from February 2, 2002.

Who is your favorite Cyberkid?

Inez

Jackie

Matt

Here's one from June 21, 2002.

Why do you think Hacker is so mean?

His hardware is buggy

He's a cyborg

Nobody loves him

He was just born that way

Ouch. This was from the days of the "How It All Started" webcomics, where The Hacker decided to conquer Cyberspace shortly after his birth. So, of course, this poll wasn't going to be sympathetic or nuanced.

This format was changed when the site was updated to use flash. Here's the earliest version that I could load from this era. It was from January 19, 2009.

What is your favorite breakfast?

a) Eggs b) Pancakes c) Oatmeal d) Cereal

We got this one May 8, 2009.

What will you give your mom for Mother's Day?

a) A card and flowers b) Breakfast in bed c) A homemade gift d) Write a poem or story for her

I haven't found a way to access the poll results from the first two eras. The third era of polls claims that 368 different questions were asked. Many of the poll questions have been archived, though not all of them have the answers archived. Here are a few of my favorites.

This one is labelled poll #1, so I suppose it was the first one that they asked. They started off with a bang.

If Hacker accidentally left his wig at your house, what would you do?

a) Throw it in the trash b) Let your pet play with it c) Mail it back to him d) Wear it to school

My first question would be "How on earth did he get into my house?"

This one actually has preserved results.

Throw it in the trash: 125,483 votes 50% Let your pet play with it: 65,779 votes, 26% Mail it back to him: 27,690 votes, 11% Wear it to school: 34,341 votes, 14% Total 253,293 votes, 101% I am amazed that over 250,000 votes were cast. I don't know whether the site had a way to stop people from voting multiple times, however.

Here's poll #166.

Why does Hacker want to rule Cyberspace? a) He needs lots of attention b) He has no hobbies c) He thinks it would be cool d) He likes to be the boss

Unfortunately, this one doesn't appear to have its results preserved.

Here's poll #90.

What's your favorite Jackie show?

a) EcoHaven CSE b) And They Counted Happily Ever c) A Day at the Spa d) Eureeka e) Problem Solving in Shangri-La

The phrasing is interesting on this one. Would you consider these to be "Jackie shows" specifically? The kids all contribute to the problem solutions. I could see an argument for the Shangri-La episode, since she goes away from the others and discovers the poison numbers to win the game of Nim.

EcoHaven CSE: 1,516 votes, 13% And They Counted Happily Ever: 1,595 votes, 12% A Day at the Spa: 5,522 votes, 42% Eureeka: 1,493 votes, 11% Problem Solving in Shangri-La: 2,893 votes, 22% Total: 13,019 votes, 100%

Okay, here's one more.

Should Hacker ever win an episode? a) yes b) no c) only 1 episode!! d) never!! This one is fun to think about. A lot of fans love the shocking ending to the first part of Snelfu Snafu, where The Hacker takes over Cyberspace. Alot of fans also love the Transformatron Arc. While the kids were able to save some Cybersites during that arc, the episodes ended with The Hacker slipping away with another part to his infernal machine.

Unfortunately, this is another one where the results weren't archived.

I may post more of these later. I may even turn some of them into Tumblr polls.

[kaiso-woo]

Hey...

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

-> Masterlist

PART 2 of my ‘Stay Series’ - a long hypothesised journey of a relationship between Bang Chan and Reader.

WC: 4.2k | Synopsis: After some time as long-distance friends, Chris surprises you by appearing at your Café - and he asks you out... with a little help.

Notes: FLUFF, Second Person Narration, Skz Fluent in English, Swearing, Idol!Chan, Barista!Chan, Fem!Reader

Here for a reading marathon? Head back to the start!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

Overall ‘Stay Series’ Synopsis: Bang Chan experiences the suic!des of Stays, so when you lot choose to die, he dies right along with you. Reader is the “antidote” to this condition - NOT MENTIONED IN THIS PARTICULAR FIC

PART 2

!!Casual reminder this is entirely fictitious - Chris/Christopher in my work does not represent the actual Bang Chan - this is purely my imagination and nothing more - this goes for all other SKZ-Members too!!

-

(A/N: When writing is in script format, it's meant to represent text messages.)

You: “CHRISTOPHER!!”

Chris: “I have done absolutely nothing” Chris: “You have no right to be calling me that”

You: “What do you mean nothing you little shit?”

Chris: “Hey hey” Chris: “This name calling is undeserved”

You: “YOUR HAIR. IS ALMOST BLONDE.”

Chris: “Oh is it really? I didn’t notice”

You: “You’re actually annoying”

Chris: “Only for you~”

-

Your breath hitches suddenly, and you turn off your phone with a click, deciding that it would be irresponsible to try and respond after that. With a wide yawn, you drag yourself out of your bed and amble over to your window. The sun is only just beginning to rise, so even when you pull the blinds across, your room remains relatively gloomy. 

Life’s been good. You’ve been chilling, honestly. Café Studio has been as busy as always, regulars coming and going, newbies learning the ropes. This morning, there are more than a few late-night goers snoozing in various places, and you smile quietly to yourself, making a mental list of the warm drinks you’d make this morning. Harry loves his cappuccino’s, and Taleena could never go wrong with a chai. 

The only thing you do before heading downstairs to the café is wash your face in the bathroom to rid your eyes of sleep. The customers are aware of your policy. They accept your generosity in your pyjamas or they don’t stay at all. Carefully, you roll up the shutters, letting the early morning light filter into the café, hesitant to make too much noise and wake up your guests.

The coffee machine is, unfortunately a little loud, so you decide to wait for the first few customers to wake up before you begin to make their drinks. 

To kill time, you head out to the backyard, where a black Labrador puppy cracks open her eye, stretches, and prances over to you.

“Hey Harvs… heyyy Harvey baby, how was your sleep?” you ask excitedly, your voice pitched higher than usual. She jumps up onto her hind legs, resting on your knees with her tail wagging, tongue lolling eagerly.

“Your Mum’s gonna come pick you up soon. Oh I bet you miss her hey?”

You’re scratching her lovingly behind her ears when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket.

-

Chris: “Did you watch our performance?”

-

You can’t help the small smile that dances across your features. Someone’s fishing for praise.

-

You: “How else would I know that your hair IS ALMOST BLONDE”

Chris: “did we do okay?”

You: “Of course! You all did so well!”

Chris: “that’s a relief” Chris: “my voice cracked a few times haha”

You: “I know”

Chris: “it’s embarrassing”

You: “To you” You: “Trust me Chris, no one cares”

Chris: “I do”

You: “Except for you”

Chris: “you noticed?”

You: “Of course I did”

Chris: “then everyone else noticed too”

You: “I noticed because I knew you would notice”

Chris: “you must know me pretty well then”

You: “Only as well as I can through messages”

Chris: “all problems have a solution”

You: “HAH” You: “what?”

Chris: “Bin and Jisung want to know what you think about their rapping”

You: “They were amazing!” You: “Their outfits especially oh my gosh?”

Chris: “yeah I’m proud of them” Chris: “Jisung was nervous before we performed”

You: “Was he?” You: “Tell him I said he was fantastic!!”

Chris: “sure thing” Chris: “he’ll appreciate that”

-

You frown and scroll back up to your previous messages a little. Even though this man is a world away from you, his disappointment can distinctly be felt through the phone. You hadn’t complimented him yet, and although he’s happy to hear praise for his members, he deserves to hear praise for himself too.

-

You: “Oi Chris”

Chris: “Yeah?”

You: “You should wear pink more often”

-

Harvey scratches at your shoes, vying for your attention and you shove your phone back into your pocket, a little frantic about complimenting him. He should wear pink more often though, that was pure fact. 

You had been keeping up with their content over the past few months, eagerly liking photos and watching live streams, laughing along with them and giggling, like any Stay would do. The only difference this time, however, is that you could do all of this with Chris.

The first time he called you, it was out of the blue. At the time you had your phone by the coffee machine, and you were busy making James a mug, desperate to get him out of your café. The moment your phone started to ring, vibrating obnoxiously on the counter, you fell into auto-pilot mode. Usually when people call you while you’re working, you automatically place it on speaker so you can multitask.

Chris’ voice hesitantly calling out to you startled every fibre of being in your body. “Hey… you there?” he paused, waiting for a response, but your shocked state didn’t allow you to, “Bad timing? Sorry nevermind-”

“Wait wait wait wait- Chris?!” you dropped everything you were holding, completely forgetting about James’ coffee, and scrambled for your phone. “Chris?!”  “Yes. Chris.”

You had your phone to your ear now, and your heart was thumping wildly in your chest. “What’re you- sorry I was just surprised.” “Did you not see my Caller ID? Why are you surprised?” he laughed, the tinkling sound sending butterflies into your stomach.

“I didn’t. I just answered – but also you’ve never called me before…” You waved a dismissive hand towards James, basically telling him to get lost, and that you’d make his coffee in a second. He frowned, and his eyes became icy – being the stubborn, annoying, prick that he is, he sat down on the barstool.

“Who’s Chris?” he casually called, and you rolled your eyes, ignoring him.

It had turned out Chris just needed to talk to someone. Someone who wasn’t directly related to Stray Kids. Everyone was nervous that day, he couldn’t talk to anyone around him without seeing the nerves in their eyes. It was just making him nervous. 

“You’ve got this Chris. What makes you think you won’t get the award?” you sigh, trying to reassure him as best as you could.

“Yeah well, it’s not just that. It’s our performance too. This could be big for us. This Western coverage could do wonders for Stray kids.”

From then on, calls kind of become a regularity. In the middle of the night, you’d wake to your phone ringing. He’d apologise profusely for waking you up, but he’d be so excited to tell you something that it doesn’t bother you. One time you face timed him, testing the waters. As soon as he answered, the first thing you heard was him whining about not wearing makeup, the first thing you saw was him hiding his face between his hands, sitting at his studio desk.

“Chris I literally don’t care. I’m face timing you because you have to meet Bailey.” Then you flipped the camera to show him the Royal King Charles Spaniel that you were babysitting today. His gasp of joy completely made your day.

“He looks like Berry!”

-

Life’s been good. You’ve been chilling honestly.

But if we’re talking about honesty here, as the days wore on your heart ached increasingly. Sometimes it would get to the point where you’d avoid Stray Kids content, just because it was painful to think about Chris being so close, yet so far away. You dearly wished… you had hugged him tighter before he left the first time he was here. The first, and last time – and you had no idea when or if he’d return. Even though he said he would…in his cheesy little notes. He’s never once mentioned it over a message or call, and you’ve never once dared to ask. Just being able to communicate with him was a gift in itself… 

What even are you two… anyways?

-

You find yourself wiping down the windows, making sure they’re squeaky clean, as customers bustle around your café. No one currently wants a coffee and no one has any requests with the library or anything, so you take the time to squeeze in a bit of regular cleaning. Just as you’re about to move onto the last set of windows, one of your customers, Ashley, comes bounding up to you.

“Hey there’s a phone ringing in your office,” she smiles, proud to be of help. You put your cleaning materials down onto the floor, and your forehead creases in exhaustion, “Just when I thought I’d be able to clean.”

“I think you should really hire an assistant, or employees in general. I have no idea how you manage to run this place yourself,” Ashley grins.

“Yes well… business isn’t too intense really. I’ve managed thus far,” you sigh and dust your hands off on your apron, then pause lost in thought. Hiring some others would be helpful, even if it costs you money, it’ll give you more time to just live a little.

“Do you have a job Ash?” you abruptly ask, and the girl shakes her head slowly, eyes widening in excitement, “Would you like to work here?”

“Oh- can I? When can I start?” she squeals, eagerly dashing forwards and scooping up the cleaning equipment you recently abandoned, “Can I start today?”

Ever so sweet. Ashley’s one of your favourites, even though she’s still in high school. 

“Um… I mean I have to sort out the legal requirements first so probably not until…” you halt as the expression on her face sullens, and change your mind, “If you really want to help out, you can start today. I’ll call it your induction, yeah?”

Ashley nods with glee and turns to clean. The phone has stopped ringing by this point, but you can just as easily call them back anyways.

“I’ll be back in a second.”

Thankfully, the phone begins to ring again when you walk into the office, and you pick it up with a renewed gusto, “This is Café Studio! How may I help you today?”

“Uhh… does your animal daycare do cats?” someone mumbles, their accent startlingly British.

“Yes of course, when did you want to drop them off? Also did you say cat…s??” you query, scrummaging around for your bookings book and a pen.

“Yeah uh- my friend here. He has um. Three cats.”

You pause, and dimly wonder why his voice sounds familiar, and you also note that his English isn’t entirely English.

“All good. I’ll just need some other info… just the names of the cats, when you’d like them to stay… your name and a phone number, if possible?” you’re sitting there, anticipating his answer, but the other end has gone radio silent.

“Are… you still there…?” you cautiously probe, not wanting to be annoying.

“Soonie, Doongie and Dori.”

You slowly lower your pen to the table and sit up straighter, the familiar names registering in your brain. You don’t think you’re meant to hear the conversation on the other end of the line, but there’s whisperings and panicked discussion.

“What’re we supposed to do for the name? Are we allowed to say Minho?”

“Uh…I don’t know- just put Chan’s name, he’s probably there already anywa-”

This voice sticks out like a sore thumb, the low octave causing you to jolt in your chair.

“Shhhhhhhshshshhh,” the first-person hushes, but it’s too late.

“Felix?” you croak out, mouth going dry. British accent… British…

“Jisung?” The silence on the other end of the phone is profound, and somewhere else, presumably in the same room as Felix and Jisung, there are people laughing in the distance.

“Ah shit,” Jisung curses and the line dies.

You’re not even thinking straight as you throw the phone onto the desk and bolt out of the office, your spinning chair ricocheting away. What do you mean he’s probably there already? They’re messing with you. There is no way, what on earth would he be doing here, unannounced, when he’s got an entire schedule-

He’s here.

He’s here. He’s here. He’s there. He’s standing right there. Already busying himself with the coffee machine, muscle memory walking him through the timings, and the fiddling. A new black cap, perhaps a new black mask. A stylish leather jacket, a plain white shirt... but the same dark eyes, the same smile crinkles, the same brown curls.

He’s here.

You catch Ashley standing to the side hesitantly, obviously curious to know why some random stranger has just walked up to your coffee machine. She wasn’t a regular yet when Chris was around before. Ashley eyeballs you, then points slowly at Chris, trying to figure out what she should do.

“It’s… it’s okay Ash… he’s fine…” you murmur, voice a hoarse whisper.

Chris suddenly stops, and his hands slowly fall to his side. He swivels around and stares at you, eyes wide, as if wondering himself what he’s doing here. You gulp, heart threatening to abandon your body. This isn’t real. This can’t be real.

“Hey…” he mumbles, through the cloth of his mask, “how you doin’~”

Again, your brain is complete jelly right now, so it’s no surprise when your mouth fails to form coherent words. As if in a daze, you stagger over to him, your feet dragging on the floor.

“Y/N?” he hesitantly asks, when you continue to merely stare at him, mouth parted in shock, eyes shimmering with pent up emotions.

“How am- how am I doing? How am- can I give you a hug?” you blurt out, and you can visibly see the tension in Chris’ body evaporate. After a second of numb silence, he spreads his arms wide, “C’mere.”

You dash forwards and sneak your arms around his abdomen, slamming into him with a force that makes him stumble backwards with a little ‘oof’. Chris wraps his arms around you, rubbing comforting circles on your back.

“How can you say that? How am I doing? You’re insufferable,” you whine into his shirt, and an unfamiliar sound of embarrassment escapes his throat. Carefully, he places his chin on your head, “It’s been a long while~ I didn’t know what to say, don’t tease me…” he cries, eliciting a string of giggles from you.

After what feels like an eternity, you pull yourself away from him and move to stand at your place by the coffee machine, picking up the grinders he’s abandoned so you can finish the order. 

“What are you doing here?” you breathe out, as Chris sidles up beside you to start the next order. The tips of his ears an adorable shade of pink, and your heart flutters when he turns slightly to face you and his sparkling eyes gaze into your own, crinkling at the corners to show he’s smiling wholeheartedly despite his mouth being hidden behind his mask.

“Am I not allowed to be here?” he chuckles back, reaching over to snag a takeaway coffee cup.

“Don’t respond to a question with a question!” You pout, clicking the portafilter into the grouphead of the coffee machine. The low hum of the coffee trickling out of the spouts begin as he leans over to whisper in your ears, “I’m here for you. I told you I’d be back didn’t I?” Chris presses the button to start the coffee on his end, placing his cup neatly underneath the spouts. Your coffee has finished pouring, and all it needs now is milk. Chris stares at you blankly, his eyes flickering to the coffee you’re supposed to be making, and then back to you. He’s frozen your brain though, and once he realises this, his ears turning pink again, he snatches your coffee cup from the machine and does the milk for you.

The coffee machine stops whirring, and regathering your wits, you grab his coffee cup, and begin to do the milk for it. You’ve switched orders now.

“You’re back for my hot chocolate aren’t you, you little liar.”

Chris clicks a lid on top of his coffee- your coffee? and places it down on the bench, “What can I say? You never told me what goes in it.”

You do the same, capping the takeaway coffee with a lid, “Okay come on, you can’t keep saying that. You’re practically a coffee connoisseur now. You can easily figure out how to make it yourself.” You grab both of the coffees and move around him checking the name on the order and preparing to call it out for the customer. It’s Ashley’s.

Chris sneaks up behind you and slides his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him again, “Mhmm… listen again, you never told me what goes in it.”

“Oh,” is all you can say, your brain working overtime to figure out precisely what he means. Truthfully, you know exactly what it means, but you’re refusing to admit it – at least your mind is, maybe not your body, because you can feel the tips of your ears burning.

“Are those mine?” Ashley wanders over, her intuition kicking in apparently. After she was instructed to leave Chris alone, she had gone back to cleaning the windows.

“Yeah- yes,” you breathe, wriggling to try and escape Chris’ grasp, “but why’d you order two?” 

Ashley gratefully accepts one of the coffees, blowing into the small hole to cool it down, “The other one is for you.” 

Your heart melts a little, and as Ashley takes a sip of her drink, Chris sneakily extricates the remaining coffee from your hand, pulls his mask down and takes a sip.

“Hey- Ash ordered that for me, not for you,” you swivel around and try to take it back off him, “you don’t even like coffee.”

Chris’ nose scrunches up in distaste after his sip, but he still refuses to give it back, holding it high above your head, “What’s yours is mine.” 

“Since uh- when?!” you retort, rolling your eyes at him and trying to yank his mask back up his face.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Ashley gasps, and Chris freezes. He immediately pulls his mask back up, and hands you back your coffee, “I know you!”

“No you don’t Ash,” you state at the same time Chris says, “Not surprised.”

You turn to stare at him in shock, but he just shrugs nonchalantly, “Are you a Stay then?” he quizzes, leaning forwards and pressing his hands on the countertop to prop himself up.

“Oh me? No not really. I haven’t had time to- she is though,” Ashley garbles, pointing at you unabashedly, “That’s how I know who you are. Remember?” she’s talking directly to you now, “You were playing one of their songs over the speakers a while back and I asked who they were.”

Oh. Yeah you remember now. Ashley had asked you about them, and because she genuinely seemed interested you lost your self a little in explaining who Stray Kids were.

“He’s your bias isn’t he? Bang Chan?”

“I’m your-” Chris starts, but you interject him swiftly, “Well duh,” then without sparing a glance towards him, you address Ashley, “We’re going to have to keep this quiet, yeah?”

She leans closer and whispers with a wink, “Oh yeah for sure. Can’t have all the Stay’s chasing you for dating Bang Chan, right?” 

Chris bursts out laughing, suddenly hiding his face in his hands, and you splutter uncontrollably, “I’m not- hang on- what gave you that impression- we’re just long-distance friends.”

Ashley sucks in air through her teeth and grabs her heart dramatically, “How does it feel Bang Chan? To be friend zoned?” 

Chris is laughing so hard he’s practically wheezing, desperately trying to breathe through his mask. 

“Oh- it hurts- I’m in so much pain- how could you?” he manages, clutching his own heart in his hands and pouting with his eyes at you. You step back from them both; Chris who’s still chuckling, and Ashley who’s smiling at you with a knowing look.

“What am I missing here?”

“I like this child. Keep her. Ashley right? Just call me Chan,” he’s finally stopped laughing, but his eyes are still glimmering with mirth.

“She’s keeping me alright. I work here now,” Ashley grins with pride, taking another sip of her coffee, “Anyway so… are you going to do it or do I have to do it for you?” 

Chris falls apart laughing again, leaning heavily on the bench to support himself. The pair of them seem to be on a completely different page to you, and you’re just standing there in confusion.

“Okay! Okay wow! This is… not how I was planning on doing it,” he wheezes, and Ashley sighs, impatient, “Who cares?!”

“Planning on doing what?! Someone help me out here, what is happening?!” You cry, face scrunched up in desperation, head flicking from one person to the other.

“Okay you,” Chris begins, flicking his head towards you, “Close the café tomorrow-”

“Or just leave it up to me,” Ashley chirps eagerly.

“-that works too. I’m taking you somewhere.”

You raise your eyebrows in amusement, a little thrown off by his assertion, and Ashley’s collaboration, “Where and why?”

Chris shrugs, “The beach, with food, and because I want to,” Ashley is nodding in the background, as if she knows this is exactly what he’d say, “I haven’t been in a while.”

“I’m poor. I can’t afford to buy food just for the beach,” you stubbornly state, mind trying to figure out if he was being genuine.

“It’s called a fucking date. Chan will pay for you,” Ashley snaps, and Chris nods vigorously, “Took the words right out of my mouth.”

Your heart is hammering in your chest as you speak, “Oh-kay, you two get along too well. Your induction isn’t over yet Ash, get back to work.”

“Yes boss,” Ashley grins, skipping away with her coffee.

“She’s bright,” Chris chuckles, watching her leave, “This isn’t exactly how I was meant to ask you out but I think it worked out fine.”

He’s not even looking at you as he speaks, but when he registers your silence he turns towards you.

“Wait- you were being serious?” your mouth drops open in shock, and Chris shakes his head at you. He pushes himself off the counter and grabs your shoulders with a little shake.

“Yes. I was being serious. Go out with me tomorrow?” 

“What about- what about the rest of Stray Kids, where are they? Don’t you have things to-”

Chris squishes your cheeks playfully to shut you up, “I told you before. I’m here for you.” 

You squirm in his grasp but he holds you steadily, “That’s not the only reason though, surely.”

“Yes. It is. Everyone’s on a two-week holiday and it was a toss-up between whether we returned to our families or here,” Chris’ eyes stray from yours to the side of your face, and he carefully brushes a strand of hair back, “The Kids really loved your Café, and it only exists here.”

“You’re lying,” you breathe, eyes wide.

“I am not… so… how difficult would it be to close shop the day after tomorrow? They want to come over.” 

In his eyes, you can see a flicker of exhaustion. You can tell he’s not happy to have to inconvenience your business just so Stray Kids can visit in peace. It’s not an inconvenience at all though.

“Sure! Tomorrow can be Ashley’s first shift, and I’ll close shop the day after,” you grin, suddenly burrowing yourself into his arms and pulling him into a hug, hiding your happiness from the world.

He’s here.

-

On this first little date at the beach, where you had a picnic blanket and food set up, the rest of Stray Kids gate crashed halfway through. They ate half your food, picked you up by your wrists and ankles and threw you into the water. This shocked you to the core because… since when were you that friendly with one another? They seemed to welcome you to the family pretty quick.

Chris was laughing back at the picnic set up. And the Skz members gleefully pestered you for confirmation of whether Chris was your boyfriend. When you nodded, soaking wet, they sprinted back to him and crushed him in a mountain of hugs, teasing him and cooing him. 

Then, yelling over the top of one another, dragged Chris all the way down to the water where you still stood. He was laughing, putting up a bit of a fight but not really; he’d always be gentle with them. Once the members had managed to group everyone together, Jisung started chanting “Kiss! Kiss!” and the rest of the members joined in. Chris was hiding his face in his hands, making distressed noises, his ears burning bright red. 

You shook your head in disbelief at the members around you, and instead pulled Chris into a hug, which he reciprocated, burying his embarrassed face into your neck. There were whoops and cheers (and Jisung’s disappointed “awhhhhh”), and then you forcefully pushed Chris down into the water, a stupid grin on your face. He came up spluttering, shocked, and then dove for your ankles. You squealed and sprinted away, crash landing into Felix, who caught you, but stumbled and fell into the water too – and then suddenly, everyone was getting dragged under.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　

-> PART 3 -> Masterlist

A/N: Yay! Milestone Event 2 (And a Half) Check!

Feedback is always appreciated, negative and positive alike. I apologise for any editing errors, I’m forever learning.

Until next read! - Kaisowoo

[feedthefandomfest]

Hiya!

I love this blog and just wanted to ask- do you know any advice on formatting and tagging for AO3?

Or just general etiquette!!

I'm not new to AO3 (reading or writing) but I haven't interacted with the actual community much and would love to know more :)

oof, I still feel like a newbie posting stuff on ao3, and tagging is something i've always struggled with. and actually formatting is also on ongoing issue 😅 so with that in mind, here's what i try to consider:

TAGGING

relationships -> tagging the main is obvious, but i'm sometimes torn about tagging side relationships that feature in the fic, especially since it's annoying to be searching for that pairing and get a bunch of results where they're not the main focus; unless the other pairing is a prominent feature, i leave it out of the relationship tags and at most add it to the additional tags

characters -> i remember updating the character tags on my early fics every time another character popped up in the story, but now i'm of the same mind as the side pairing issue; unless the character is prominently featured, i leave them out of the tags

content warning/advertising -> if i know the fic features an element that some people might wish to avoid, i always tag it and also always fret that i've forgotten to tag something in that regard. when it's more about advertising what's in the fic, especially sexual content, i sometimes feel silly listing every flavor of physical encounter unless the fic is pwp/smut (in which case i gleefully list all the depravity); i sometimes worry that over-emphasizing the sexual content in the tags is misleading? like of this 100k fic, if 15k is spent fucking, how do i get the tags to reflect that while also tag cw appropriately? is there an established tag for that?

sometimes i see fics with TONS of tags, like an exhausting amount, and sometimes i see fics with very minimal tags... sometimes frustratingly few. i also know some writers add chapter-specific warnings in the author's notes. in the end, so long as you're making it possible for people to find or avoid your fic as needed, then you're good. Here are some good posts that dive into it more!

(i remember when people on tumblr would scold writers for monologuing in the tags on ao3 like we do on here, claiming it was a strain on the system, but i believe that's been debunked?)

FORMATTING

i've noticed some MEGA annoying quirks with copy & pasting over from Google Docs and Word, and I know there are some tricks to get around them, but i tend to just slog through the Rich Text window fixing everything manually 🙃 OKAY I FOUND SOLUTIONS LINKED BELOW.

spacing problem #1 -> pet peeve of mine, but i dislike it when the paragraphs have massive spaces between them (ditto for indented paragraphs). idk why, but it's tiring for my eyes to constantly leap the chasm between paragraphs. so whenever i copy and paste from Word, which for some reason ALWAYS appears with double spacing between line breaks, i go in and manually fix it. SOLUTION

spacing problem #2 -> when copying over from Google Doc, whenever there's a punctuation mark following an italicized word, a random space appears between them. and yep, i have to go in and fix every one because typos make me twitch. (this might not be an issue for everyone; i overuse italics and dashes like it's my job) SOLUTION

spacing problem #3 -> again probably a me issue, but i tend to include song lyrics a lot, and it's always a headache to format because when pasting from the doc, ao3 embeds these spaces between the lines that i can't remove by backspacing. only fix i've found is to copy and paste lyrics directly from a website, and then it formats fine. random and annoying and weird. (no solution 😔)

since this section has just been me whining about finding SOLUTIONS for formatting issues, i'll offer one tip that's more about general editing: i try to proofread best i can in Word/GDocs, but it's always easier to spot errors when i'm reading the draft on my phone. the typos always jump out at me from a phone screen. it's now my favorite way to edit!

every writer has their own preferences on formatting, and every reader has their own level of tolerance for formatting quirks. in the end, so long as the formatting doesn't interfere with the reading experience, you're all good.

[arvoze]

[2/3] HHNFLARTAS - hell hath no fury like a rescue team association scorned

hell hath no fury like a rescue team association scorned not a fic or anything, i just ramble a lot about my pmd ocs in a digestible format that's more or less that kind of content. random yearly event for rescue teams. covers no more than like, one week of VV content

[ 1 / X / 3 ]

hey guys just realised the abbreviation for this says "flartas" this is so embarrassing

hell hath no fury like a rescue team association scorned #2

(sorry this keeps repeating this is just how i organised it all)

and mike's right to worry. it's the team's worst nightmare, for obvious reasons -- it's fire. they're grass. it's a fucking volcanic location. there's no water or anything. they're screwed from the get-go.

but that's the point. you can't always pick and choose where you're headed. sometimes you have to suck it up and get over it and just deal with it. that's the point the RTA try to make, here.

keith's team - well, guildmaster rime, probably, actually - would argue against that. yes, you can't pick and choose all the time, but actually, yes you can, you pick the jobs you can do, and you're an arrogant asshole if you take a job in a place that leaves you at a disadvantage. what are you trying to prove by doing that? just leave it to a team more suited for the job, for the sake of the pokemon that need to be rescued.

right. the pokemon that need to be rescued.

it's a gruelling journey. the team is surviving, barely, always hanging on by a thread, but hey, at least it's a strong thread. it's not a total nightmare for them, for now. but it's going to be. it has to be, because the requirements are to save the rescue and bring something back from the end of the dungeon to "prove" that you completed it (in case the rotom drones aren't watching). their inventory is stacked up enough for this. keith's body is a machine that turns reviver seeds into plain seeds.

..

moderately deep in - about halfway through the dungeon, which is deep for grass-types - the rescue has been found. keith's team go about the regular procedures: are they injured? are they famished? what kind of help do they need? are they in danger? the rescue is the priority. the rescue is the priority. they're safe, thankfully. they're an "actor", so of course they're safe, but it's mandatory to check anyways - keith's team take this stuff seriously when it matters.

they've got to make a decision. for many teams, they don't have to worry about this. but for keith's team, it's only one way or the other.

take the rescue home, and abandon the latter half of the job (to reach the end), or take the rescue with them to the end -- on a journey they can barely survive themselves, endangering the rescue.

the answer is clear: why not do both?

hell hath no fury[..] #3

why not split the team? one takes the rescue home, the others continue pressing on. this is the logical solution that the three come to.

luwel says that the RTA are probably gonna hate it, but that it's easily justifiable to do. keith and mike are in agreement, because when it comes down to it, the rescue is the priority. two of them can take the fall in a fight if they need to - the rescue got home, which is the most important thing.

like clockwork, a monster house will spawn. they still have the rescue. the RTA can't help it, they love a well-timed monster house.

the team is split using the following thought process:

keith is one of the two that stay in the dungeon. this is a given, both because he's the team leader, and also because he's really, really shit at running away as he's a notoriously slow runner (can you blame him). he is the most physically defensive, as well as the most physically strongest (i mean, mike's strong, too, but a regular punch from keith is gonna be a lot worse than a regular punch from mike).

luwel can be fast, but he's not all that strong. he is, however, the best at problem-solving and adapting to situations as they happen, at least out of the three of them. he's also the one who planned their inventory in advance, so luwel actually knows what's in their bag that can be used for situations like these. he's staying with keith in the dungeon.

mike is fast, can fight off stragglers on the way out, and can also carry the rescue on the way. mike's going to be the one splitting from the team to ensure the safety of the rescue.

mike will take out a few pokemon from the monster house before upping and leaving. he can't risk staying for too long, as unfortunate as that is. he doesn't want to go. he knows the situation. he is terrified for what might happen to the others. but he is reassured, constantly -- not reassured. yelled at, really, in that one way keith sounds when he's serious. go. now. just take them and fucking go. despite how long they've been on the job together, it's not a side of keith that the other two see often.

mike's gone. the rescue is gone, too. it's just down to keith and luwel now. oh, christ, it's down to keith and luwel, who are already drained at this point, surrounded by fire types, in quite literally the worst place either of them could be in. the realisation is starting to dawn. gears are turning in luwel's head. the same can't be said for keith, but that's to be expected.

..

thank xerneas one of them knows how to prepare for the worst.

hell hath no fury[..] #4

keith does what he can to take a few of them out, but the exhaustion is really starting to kick in. he can only take so many more hits, under this heat, and bless luwel for being there with him but he's not exactly pulling his weight in a two-on-who-knows-what -- they're tired, drained, dehydrated, everything. they're probably even wilting at this point, the poor bastards.

luwel has a last resort, per the norm. years of the worried and paranoid "what if" scenarios playing in your head before every possible adventure will do that to you. he'd waited until the worst of the worst to use it -- and one could argue that this was as bad as it gets.

he has one singular flood orb, a moderately expensive upgrade to the rainy orb. his ass is not getting compensated for using it by the RTA. whilst the rainy orb generates, well, rain for a short period of time, the flood orb will generate torrential downpour, flooding the floor. overuse could lead to serious disasters in a dungeon, but nobody's got enough money for that. and nobody's got enough balls to ask kyogre to keep upgrading their orbs -- how long had keith had that in storage, anyways? there's not a chance in hell that he's seeking out kyogre ever again.

it's enough. even if it's just a break, it's enough. if keith wasn't the anchor that he is, he'd probably end up getting swept away by the flood that started to form in the room. luwel is holding onto him, of course, whilst keith berates him for using that item, even though he jokes about the fact it's actually fine and he's not mad at all. it's not total garbage water either, which is perfect for keith, because he loves his water absorb ability. it's keith's dungeon now, we're all just exploring in it.

thanks to the water absorption, keith's body has become as resilient as ever - he's slightly larger, now, to accommodate for the water* [note*], and he feels better than ever. better than he was before he even entered the dungeon. he'll take the world on, he doesn't give a shit. luwel is just idly getting by. it's nice to not have to deal with the heat for a little while. the orb fades in his hands, its blue hue transitioning to a dull, deep grey before crumbling to nothing. it was nice while it lasted, he reckons. he'll make a mental note to look for authentic upgrades orbs in the market when the time comes.

most of the monster house is just… swept away to a different part of the dungeon. they can move on, once they've taken their breather. the RTA will probably ban the use of upgraded orbs after this, but modern problems require modern solutions.

hell hath no fury[..] #5

they… get there, in the end. they reach the end of the dungeon. there were further hiccups along the way - luwel's body is a machine that turns reviver seeds into… well, we've heard that one somewhere before. they grab whatever it is that's needed at the end, and then they fuck off. they don't want to be there anymore.

(the details themselves aren't that important… it's just a regular dungeon exploration for the most part. fighting things, taking hits, healing, missing, whatever. all that good stuff. there's no point detailing the actual dungeon stuff itself right now).

mike is finally reunited with the guys. he's been living his best life outside of the dungeon, dealing with normal temperatures and - heaven forbid - a dip in the lake to cool down. mike's doing his best to not laugh about the state his brothers are in. why the fuck are they bald. (they are no longer bald)

..

it takes a while, but the RTA get back to them with their results. they've got to assess every team that took part, of course, so the waiting period was to be expected. for this particular trial, keith's team was met with, well…

a failure. they didn't pass. it's not something to be demoted over, but it cuts them out of qualifying for the top hundred teams in the continent. they haven't been failed in a good number of years. what gives? they did what they were told, didn't they?

yeah. but it's more intricate than that.

[pt 3.]

-

*[note; borrowed from swagulousbeing @ twt]

[inkabelledesigns]

Okay, I don't voice a ton of opinions about Disney movies, but here's one I think about from time to time: Raya and the Last Dragon AND Encanto would have worked better as animated series than movies.

I say this as someone who absolutely loves Encanto mind you. Every time I see a Camilo post I am immediately sending it to my sister, we both appreciate this film. But our inside joke is that it gets an I for Incomplete. The movie spends so much time giving us musical numbers that expose us to each character's struggles, but it feels like Mirabel just kind of shows up and listens to how her family members are feeling? Like she doesn't get much of a chance to actually help most of them through their problems, even though the movie seems like it wants to frame her that way. She barely suggests a solution. Luisa just had a good cry around her, and Isabella yelled at her and then found her solution on her own. I feel like listening and having a soundboard are important when it comes to working through your feelings, but this format and pacing actively strip Mirabel of getting to be fleshed out and have an active role in the story. Things just kind of happen around her. We don't get to see much of what makes her unique as a problem solver. And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that this story was being told in a movie format. It has such a big cast where all of them are important, it's hard to give anyone enough time to be fully fleshed out and have the entirety of their character arc within that time span.

Raya suffers from the same problem. The world is so large and expansive, its geography and individual cultures have so much potential, but we only get this tiny glimpse of these characters and places that doesn't tell us all that much about them, outside of a small taste of exposition when they're all missing their families. Which kills me, because both of these movies have some really interesting ideas on display. The scope is just too ambitious to fit cleanly into one singular movie. If they were animated series that had some slower growth to compliment their rich world building, it would have made a significant difference. I would love to see more shenanigans with each of these characters, more ups and downs of serious conflict and a little goofiness. Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset by what we got, it was nice to have some original IPs that were fun and took some risks. But I am a little disappointed, because they had the potential to be a lot better than they were.

It's been feeling like Disney movies are more and more rushed over the past couple years, or at the very least, not thought through as much as they could be. -gestures at the behind the scenes of Frozen 2 where they didn't know what the voice was for most of production- And I can't pinpoint any one thing as the reason why, because there are a lot of factors contributing to it. But it definitely makes me want to be more conscious of that when creating my own stories. I guess that is the great thing about storytelling and art, you're always learning, and as you take in more art, you figure out what you value most about it. That is key in teaching you how to make what you want. Art is a language after all.

[lunariamv]

its time, im in my charon era

ive made my first three rpg horror games :DDD

there's three because two of them are parodies and then there's one actual legit one

all three are in authentic charon game format: rpg maker 2000, similar art style, similar horror premise, short story

i did it for the aesthetic OKAY

⚠️ Before venturing into any of my works, please heed my disclaimer/rules;; I don't want obstructive people engaging with me or my works ⚠️

✿ warning: running these games is a gamble because rpg maker 2000 is old software that windows is trying to assassinate (i cant even run it on my computer sometimes, i have to use a virtual machine or the game editor lol) so i apologize if it doesn't work ✿

the readme has troubleshooting solutions, and easyrpg exists to combat this, but it's not perfect. for example, it changes the text a little bit, which ruins the aesthetic

if ur like me and u care about the aesthetic a lot, then use a virtual machine, otherwise if you have a laptop and not a hardcore gaming pc, the game will probably run fine.

(the one time that having low quality graphics is good xD)

windows 11 users beware, im sticking with 10-

when all else fails i have gameplays available on my youtube

🌸 HERE IS THE GAME MASTERLIST 🌸 PLAY THEM HERE

✿ warning: running these games is a gamble because rpg maker 2000 is old software that windows is trying to assassinate (i cant even run it on my computer sometimes, i have to use a virtual machine or the game editor lol) so i apologize if it doesn't work ✿

!! please care and heed my content warnings when playing these games, as they contain dark subject matter; i promise ill make less edgy stuff in the future its just rn i REALLY WANNA MAKE CHARON GAMES FOR FUN !!

the first two (Akeno Delusion and Carousel) are strictly parody games on the genre, and Doom Stones is the authentic 100% serious charon game

looking back akeno delusion sucks to me but thats cuz its my first one and i gotta start somewhere, the quality only goes up from there

eventually ill stop using rpg maker 2000 and make games with the other makers for more versatility but rn im in love with the retro aesthetic im so sorry

*my art isnt that good but im getting there ok!!

also just a heads up, im not 1 to 1 charon; the aesthetic, artstyle, and story elements are the same, but i dabble in male yanderes instead and i go different places with the story;

🌸 mostly male yans

🌸 protagonist is actually a character

🌸 story goes a little more in depth

🌸 more focus on the horror aspect than sexual

so basically im like a female charon right now heheheh

i plan to make more rpg games, but for sure i want to make at least three more games with similar story beats.

its because i want my own take on the concepts -- doom stones is my take on makoto mobius, but i also wanna make a "scavenger hunt a person's house" type game like makoto nikki and a yanderella equivalent (but the love triangle has more drama)

AND…. MIX ORE BUT YANDERE BUBBLE TEA??????? :DDDD

once im done ill move onto dsp era cuz i wanna make some actual rpgs; like with the cute assets and pixel art

🌸 please follow and support me if you like these and want me to make more; this is just a small portion in the large list of games i wanna make <3

💮 please feel free to contact me regarding game ratings if you sincerely think they're off, im a noob when it comes to posting stuff;; and im just going off code of conduct, if it has any hint of explicit content its going to be 18+, whereas implicit would be like 17+ idk

im not taking any chances lol

🌸 I'd prefer if people don't contact me about troubleshooting problems, but if they have to, carefully go through my instructions first. even then keep in mind i might not be able to help;;

💮 I'm posting these games on tumblr only because they're short. If I make longer games, I'll crosspost them to itch.io or something.

🌸 I'll also make a website in the future, but for now I'll post the games on here. Thank you for stopping by!!

[blueteller]

I really love your theories so I have a question for you, what do you the sealed tests were ?

Reading it, I felt like they had way to much informations and stuff happening in it to not be a real world somewhere and then Raon kinda said he sorta remember Dodam so it can't really be another earth because I feel like Raon would not be feeling Dodam either so maybe another timeline ?

Do you think they'll come back at some point ?

That's an excellent question! I've given it a lot of thought, myself.

Personally, I think the twist is that instead of all tests being illusions, each one worked on completely different mechanics: it was to fool the people undertaking the tests to make them stuck for as long as possible, if not indefinitely, and absorb their despair at being trapped.

The first test was an extra one: unofficially called "test of despair", courtesy of Clopeh.

This test was an "illusion of conditionally alternative reality". The world itself was fake, however, the God of Despair had limited influence over it, due to it being heavily based on the TCF reality. I imagine the God of Despair used up a lot of his power for that one.

That reality was altered in two key ways: one, Cale Henituse did not exist. As in, he wasn’t a member of the Henituse family and was never born there. Two, the White Star was replaced by an avatar of the God of Despair, who made himself look like Cale Henituse. It was to trick Cale's group into fighting an "evil Cale", then display the footage in the real world and present it as "Cale's group betraying him". This scheme ultimately failed, because of the God of Death's cintamani. I am not sure what the passing requirement actually was in that test – because the Sealed God himself destroyed that test before it was finished. He probably figured he had a better chance of tricking Cale into using Embrace on him and using it to control him, somehow. Another scheme failed because of the God of Death – who had Cale use his Divine Item to seal him.

The rest of the tests followed the "standard format" of the Sealed God's temple: sadness, sloth, failure, indignity, and wrath.

The test of sadness was based on a person's memory. That was all there was to it. No alternations, no changes. Pretty simple. To pass it, you needed to "accept your sadness" – the same way Cale had to "accept the despair yet to come" in his test back on Earth 2.

The next test was a lot trickier. It was still based on memory, but it had specific properties: indulgence and numbness. It made the person gradually forget that they're in a test at all. It might seem simple on the surface, but in my opinion, it was the most dangerous test of all. Because once you forget you're in danger at all, how can you defend yourself? Luckily, it seems all of Cale's friends managed to pass that one somehow, even thought the passing requirement was never quite made clear to me. I suppose you just needed to "let go of indulgence" and move forward to face the difficulties of the real life.

The test of failure is where things get interesting. It was intended as an "impossible task" kind of test. As Choi Han's case with Harris Village had shown, it was a test where you experienced a failure of your past in a continuous loop. Try as hard as you can to correct your failure, it was an illusion where reality was actively against you. Choi Han should have no problem returning to Harris Village on time, knowing there was an attack coming. And yet the test made him fail over and over. Choi Han was implied to eventually out-stubborn the test, which is truly impressive, as Clopeh believed such a thing was not possible, and the solution was to "accept failure" in order to proceed.

The test of indignity is the strangest of them all; because all signs show that it was the only one where an Actual Alternate Reality was involved.

From what we know about Single-Lifers, such as Choi Han, they’re the only ones who are able to travel between dimensions in their own bodies without issues – of course in Part Two (slight spoiler alert!) we are introduced to Cale's mirror, another Divine Item from the God of Death. However, even with the mirror or the Hunters, they're all required to pay a price for such travel. Even during their travel to the murim world, Cale and his group needed to change appearance in order to "fit in".

That's because regular people are not meant to dimension-travel. Such things seem to be usually only for Gods, Wanderers or other divine beings. For Variables, such as transmigrators, it's necessary to change bodies to "native" ones when they change dimensions.

It is no coincidence that while Choi Han just got dropped into the TCF universe out of nowhere, Cale's soul was placed in the body of a local. That's because he couldn't be simply transported in his own Korean body. Notice how in each test, except the indignity one, Cale and the others were in their own bodies. Only in this one they were all temporarily transmigrated into someone else – although with how 20-year-old Kim Rok Soo was still inside Cale during the Sealed God's test, it's clear that the God of Despair doesn't switch souls, but temporarily places a second soul in another person's body.

That's why I'm 100% sure the indignity test was the only one with a real other universe involved. There were also differences Cale noticed, such as the absence of the Super Rock in the villa. It wasn't an illusion world based on his memories. It was a different world entirely. But it was still similar enough for the Sealed God to choose it his test target, as the same thing happened with Earth 2.

And finally, we got the last test: wrath.

While the extra test was an illusion of an alternate reality, sadness was a memory, sloth was a mind-numbing trap, the failure was a time loop, and indignity was another world… wrath is the only one which is 100% fiction.

It is a world crafted by a sneaky temple AI for one purpose only: to piss you off.

The thing is, if Cale hadn't thought that nonsense of how "kids complaining about food" et cetera are things that "make him angry", his test would probably be a little different. Because, let's be clear here: if the White Star truly had won over Cale, he would never let him live peacefully with the kids. Especially not comfortably enough for them to complain about such mundane thing as food.

The temple took Cale's absurd suggestions and meshed them all with the vision of what truly pissed Cale off: the White Star winning and doing whatever the hell he wanted. If the White Star had won, he wouldn't leave a single one of Cale's allies alive. …Especially not Raon, whom that bastard threatened to cut his heart out of and feed it to Cale.

The point is: logically, the wrath test made no sense. There wasn't any internal consistency to it – even illusion!Eruhaben himself pointed out it did not make any sense. Clopeh's version of the wrath test was seeing Cale and his group in jail and awaiting a trial, as if that would ever happen! If Cale got caught, they would have tortured and killed him, not involving any legal procedures. What would even be the point?

From my observation, the only way to pass this test is to cool off – so unless you're able to defeat whatever it is that "makes you angry", you'd be stuck. Which, honestly, doesn't seem like a very effective trap to me… but I suppose making someone pissed off enough makes them reckless (as seen by Cale bleeding and all over the place and beating up the White Star with a rock like there's no tomorrow…), which is quite dangerous in itself. And if a person manages to pass all the previous tests without issues, it would make sense that anger could be their final weakness.

To answer your final question - do I think Dodam!verse will come back at some point?

Yes. Absolutely.

So yeah - that's my take on the Sealed God's temple tests. I hope you enjoyed it!

[words-of-wolf]

main blog of knifedog-machina here - I have a question! do you have any memories involving scent, and territory markings or prey tracking through that? I've been a bit enthralled with WolfQuest recently, and I wanna know how their visualized scent system holds up for a wolf!

Hello!! I love this question, things like this are some of my absolute favourite things to discuss!!

Gonna put a cut here because I rambled wayy more than I planned. :P

I do have memories of this, yes! It's not a simple answer though, because one problem I run into with some of my memories from other lives is that I don't always have the.. capacity to comprehend them exactly, as a human? It's a weird feeling! I can remember it but some aspects of it are just so hard to grasp.

I think to describe properly how I experience those memories will take some thinking, so I'll stick it on my blog post to-do list and aim to write something more meaningful later on!!

In short, though: I absolutely cannot overstate how central my sense of smell was in my memories of being a wolf. It was like... hm. How humans centre a lot of their understandings of the world and their place in it through our eyes? Like seeing eyes as windows to the soul and all that? Like that, but it was smell instead.

Smell wasn't just a tool, it was a really vital part of how I conceptualised the world and my place in it. I'd say even how I thought about things, and processed things internally, was very focused on smell!

As for your specific question... I've never actually got around to playing WolfQuest yet myself (it's been on my to play list since I was like 16 ahaha) but I watched a couple of videos to see what the scent mechanics in it are like!

Overall, I think they look pretty good! Ideas like scent are always gonna be hard to capture in a game, especially when you've also got to keep in mind limitations of performance and stuff, plus obviously making the game feel actually fun to play.

For the tracking scent mechanic, I really like that they added scent nodes in the air that are influenced by wind! When it comes to tracking something by scent, wind has a really big impact - the way the WolfQuest devs found to make wind relevant without being really taxing on performance is really clever, and interesting!

Territorial markings would be a really difficult thing to represent properly in a game, I think. WolfQuest seems to have a solid solution for that. It's not what I'd call "realistic" exactly, though also they base their game on Yellowstone's ecosystem, which is a very competitive location for wolves. The amount of elk there makes it prime habitat, and that means there's higher wolf density, so territorial behaviours are way more defined and intense than in other places. So some of the things that feel "off" to me, I think also come as a result of that!

It's hard to really articulate my thoughts on territory and marking, I might have to come back to the topic later when I've had some time to mull it over!

Thinking about this got me thinking about how I'd go about making a scent tracking mechanic in a video game... in a fantasy world where I can ignore hardware limitations and how difficult it all would be to code. :P

I think I would format it as a different visual mode taking inspiration from infrared videos. In this camera mode, a lot of visual objects are unclear or ambiguous, particularly anything distant.

And I would use different colours to differentiate three different scent types: yellow would be "uninteresting background scent" - grass, trees, that kind of thing. The stuff you just don't pay attention to. Green would be "distracting non-prey scent" - things that might obscure what you're looking for, or maybe just catch your attention enough to distract you from what you're focused on. Then I'd probably use red as "prey scent".

Things that have a very strong "prey scent" would be bright red and show up from furthest away compared to other scents - for example, fresh deer scat.

Less strong "prey scents" would be harder to discern from further away. These would be things that either are fresh but don't smell as strongly (like the area a deer was resting recently), or older scent sources. These would probably fade to a more orange tone when you're further from them.

I also quite like the idea of older and weaker scents being harder to identify, and maybe something based on the idea of focus - an older, weaker scent would be harder to concentrate on than a fresh, strong one.

And wind would influence how strong the scents are, especially over distance! So scents you're downwind from are clearer and more visually distinct, whereas scents upwind are less so.

If I were gonna make a game based on this, I'd say the mechanics would encourage piecing together clues from scent, sound and sight. There would probably be a separate camera mode for hearing focus, and then the default mode would let you see visual cues if there are any - flattened grass, game trails, marks on trees, etc.

Hm! It's a bit of a tangent but fun to think about, hehe. ^u^

I hope this satisfies your curiosity a bit! :D

[maxellminidisc]

Having a mom who is like loving in that "I need to solve all your problems to help you" kind of way is sometimes very stressful. Sometimes I'm not feeling great and all I want is comfort and all my mom can do is sit there and say "I cant do anything about that, it's out of my hands it's not something I can actually fix for you" and that makes me feel so incompetent despite that not being my point for reaching out. And then I feel terrible for my mom, because I know she has such a hard time just being generally comforting or affectionate cause her mom is a sack of shit that never ever made her feel loved.

So it's like this horrible tug of war between feeling a very child like need for comfort and affection when I'm feeling bad and feeling deeply sad for my mom because I know deep down she feels a lot of shame for not being able to do it. Its bizarre knowing someone loves you but wanting that love in another format. Like sometimes when I'm panicking I dont want you to give me solutions to the problem triggering the thing, I just want to be assured that I'm 1) not dying and 2) am not embarrassing for letting something get to me like this no matter how silly

[sillymickel]

Apocalypse NO: Understanding the World’s Transformation – Free Ebook by Michael Adzema

From October 28th thru Nov 1st, 2024, Michael Adzema's book "Apocalypse NO: Apocalypse or Earth Rebirth & the Emerging Perinatal Unconscious" is available for free on Amazon.

The book explores the profound implications of our current societal and environmental challenges, offering a transformative perspective on humanity's potential for change and rebirth.

Readers praise the book for its insights into our collective beginnings and its potential for personal and global healing.

"Reading Apocalypse No is the answer to all of the questions I’ve had about what is really going on this world today. This book is fascinating in the way that the author, Michael Adzema, brings to light the reasons for the apathy that haunts our planet today.

"His concerns for this planet mirror my own which was the reason I bought it. He actually brings us to the beginning of our problems and was my introduction to the experiential therapies. He has put many years of additional research into the therapies that go beyond the “band aids” being administered today by taking us back to our blatantly overlooked beginning.

"He successfully brings to attention the parallels between our beginnings to every day modern life which is also heavily mirrored in today’s pop culture; that is not inherent to our species at all.

"I’ve been following Michael Adzema for a couple of years online and happy he has finally brought his work to a format that can reach many more so we can begin collectively working together to heal ourselves and hopefully, this world we live in.

"I believe this book as well as the other books in this series he has written is rudimentary to the solutions this planet is in dire need of which has to begin within ourselves. I highly recommend this book for everyone because, as he points out, we all begin at the same point and are so deeply affected by these beginnings that we subconsciously reenact and unconsciously accept the often vague yet potent facsimiles in our everyday lives.

"I have found this book to be the beginning of healing and positive change for myself and hopefully for you as well. This is the book of change!"

For more of Adzema's works, visit his Amazon Author Page.

ecocide #psychology #prenatal #perinatal #birth #Earth #humanicide #extinction #psyche #primal #climate #Pre and Perinatal Psychology #environment #pollution #Gaia #Rainbow Warriors #tao #people #love #environmental #inthistogether #media

[caveate]

I got accused at work yesterday of verbally "biting" the project manager for the massive multi-year high-profile IT project I got dragged into 3 months ago that went live 2 weeks ago with many, many problems that should have been addressed before go-live. The accuser is a longtime coworker friend who visibly sporfled on camera in the meeting and had to turn away when I broke and started repeating what everyone had been saying to the PM, but using very small words in very clipped tones like a preschool teacher telling the problem kid to stop eating crayons. It's not the PM's fault, really. He's a business PM, not an IT PM, and those are two completely different things.* But when the SME keeps saying "No, that solution will not work" and the PM keeps repeating "But what if we try the same thing I asked about before" well, my patience wore thin and certain personality aspects I usually keep hidden at work appeared. The oddest thing about that interaction? I had multiple grandbosses (outside my direct hierarchy, but in adjacent associated departments) ping me directly after the meeting and they're starting to come to me ever since then for straightforward no-frills information about the project. I already had a reputation for knowing how to talk to managers, here is the information they want in easy to understand format (managers LOVE pie charts, gotta say) without any extra ramblings about why or the history of everything, but this appears to have brought those skills to the attention of more folks. Can't say I mind it though, it's never a bad thing to come to the attention of the higher-ups in a good way, especially for having good communication skills. * There's business project management, IT project management, science project management, construction project management and then the adjacent problem management as well. All of these may look the same in a generic Master's degree program description, but in reality they are very very different in terms of how they need to interact with the project folks. For example, while construction can hold up an to-the-hour schedule and say "Meet this or pay fines" IT and science has to be able to accept "we don't know how long this will take, it has to be researched before we can give any time estimate." For construction there's going to be a concrete SME, a building supplies SME, an electrician SME, a plumbing SME, a flooring SME, and so on. For business they have the accountants, the facilities personnel, and can hire anyone else who's skill sets aren't already present in the company. For IT it's often only 2, maybe 3 people, who's skill sets may not be anywhere near the work or problem that needs to be dealt with, no ability (or time) to hire someone to fix the immediate problems, and therefore they need extra time to be able to research and figure out what and how to deal with things. And the best way to anger an SME is to not listen to them or give them the time to actually buckle down and fix things.

[chronic-escapist]

It's 2:06AM, it's fucking freezing. I'm listening to Closing Time by Tom Waits, I love this album. I've been listening to older albums lately. I think there's something to be said about how we have so many albums at our fingertips and take that for granted. I definitely do. I mean, I do remember a time where I could only really play CDs, but I'm younger so streaming has been around most of my life. That nostalgia kind of effects everyone, whether you actually experienced it or not. I still have a CD collection though. I like being able to hold it, especially something as intangible and truly indescribable as music. I wonder what the solution for the obvious problems with streaming are. I wonder if we'll ever be able to reverse the devaluation of art, but it's kind of hard to put a monetary price on the whole experience of art. I don't know any solutions for that, but I don't know how much longer the current streaming treatment will be accepted. I'm reading Daisy Jones & The Six, I love it. I love how it's formatted and how the story is told through that style. I love reading band interviews so it's like my perfect book.

I think I look to history searching for some sort of meaning in all of this. Or as some sort of archival evidence that I'm not alone in all of this and that people all throughout history, though our circumstances vary, all had something in common. I love seeing the things that kind of make people from history feel more real, I think sometimes I don't fully grasp that those people had whole lives and families and friends and drama and love and that even though our lives look quite different, there's so many things that are kind of the same.

[bfxenon]

6 Money-Making Content Formats SaaS Companies Should Prioritize — Whiteboard Friday

In today’s Whiteboard Friday episode, expert content strategist Chima Mmeje talks you through the six top content formats SaaS brand can focus on to drive revenue.

Click on the whiteboard image above to open a high resolution version in a new tab!

Video Transcription

Hi, my name is Chima Mmeje, and I am a SaaS content strategist at zenithcopy.com. I write long-form content, and I also use topic clusters as a form of content strategy for SaaS companies. Today, I'm talking to you about six moneymaking content formats to prioritize for SaaS companies.

Now, before I get into all of this, I just want to start by saying that when building clusters or when doing research or when creating content, you should always start from the bottom to increase your chances of ranking and then make your way to the top. The reason being that at the top of the funnel, the keywords are extremely competitive, it has tons of search volume, and the likelihood of a small business or of a small website ranking for those keywords is very rare, in fact, almost never happens.

But if you start from the bottom, then you can pick one keyword, one keyword, one keyword, rank for those, make your way to the middle, and then at the top, use your pillar contents to bring everything together. Don't get greedy. All right. Now that we have that, I'm just going to show you six keywords that I think have the most impact for moneymaking at the bottom of the funnel.

1. Best

The first one is best of keyword. Now, this keyword is so good because it actually fits into the funnel at the middle or at the bottom. It's also a review type of content. Examples, best SEO tool for beginners, best free SEO tools, best SEO tool for link building, best keyword research tool. Okay, this is a sales enablement asset because it's personalized to specific problems that the audience is facing.

This is not just SEO tool reviews. This is SEO tool reviews for beginners. This is SEO tool reviews for link building. All of them performing specific function. Now, what this type of content does is that it allows you to showcase your brand. It gives 10, 15 other competitors, tells the audience what all these other tools do, but positions your brand as the best option for them.

Now, example, I was trying to get a tool for podcast. I was thinking of creating a podcast for the FCDC. When I was doing my research, I found some of these best of tools for podcasts. And two of the things that stood out was Audacity and another brand name I can't really remember.

Now, my entire search, my entire search journey started and ended with best podcast tool. And right there, I made my decision. So it's a great asset for people who don't have time or who don't want to read content at the top, middle, bottom. They can just start and end their search with this type of content. While users usually trust third-party review websites because they believe they don't have a vested interest, you should also take control of the narrative by creating this content and showing up on SERP, because subconsciously, you're building trust.

If they read your content before ending on a third-party review website, they already associate your brand with that solution. 

2. Sales enablement

All right. Next one, sales enablement content. Now, it doesn't get a lot of love. It doesn't get a lot of appreciation because it's always working in the background. But this is the cream of type of content format to create. Reason being that if you get it right, the right sales enablement content is going to move someone from, "Is this the right solution for me?" to, "This is definitely what I need to be getting." Examples, video testimonials, case studies, personalized landing pages, white papers, product demos. Now I want to just a little bit dig into how you can use this to solve problems for your audience. Video testimonials.

Say a user comes to you and they have specific problems. You've built your buyer personas, you've marked out the problems that the audience is facing, and you've linked solutions from your product to each of those problems that the audience faces. Now, you're not just going to send them generic video testimonials. You're going to send them video testimonials that you've created talking about how your product solves a problem, not just any problem, a specific problem for a specific user base.

Now, if you send that personalized video to the user or to the prospect, they can see themself in that person that they are watching, and by seeing themself in that person, they feel that this solution was created for them. It's the same thing with case study. It's the same thing with personalized landing pages. It's the same thing with product demos and white papers.

They cannot be generalized. You have to map them into the buyer's journey. You have to map them into your buyer personas that you've built, and you have to map them into problems and solutions for it to work. 

3. Competitor comparison pages

Next one, competitor comparison pages. Now, these pages are so great.

I love them because it allows you to show how your brand works against a competitor performing a similar function. Now, the mistake that a lot of the SaaS companies make is that they trash their competitors when creating competitor pages. That means you're just focusing all of your attention talking about what your competitor does, and I can't really tell how you're better.

What you should be doing instead is that you should be mining reviews from review sites, like Capterra, G2 and the rest of them, looking for themes of complaints that your audience has against these competitors, and then using those problems that you've identified to reverse-engineer and show how your product solves those specific problems. That way, someone who is looking for an alternative to Aurelius, maybe they're coming from EnjoyHQ or Dovetail and they've seen that you've identified the problems they faced with EnjoyHQ or Dovetail, now understand why Aurelius is a better choice than EnjoyHQ or Dovetail.

Same with Aurelius versus Dovetail. Now, another misconception is that it has to be either Aurelius or Dovetail writing this competitor review. No, it doesn't have to be Aurelius or Dovetail. EnjoyHQ can also create content on these two. What they do is that their objective, they say Aurelius does this, Dovetail does this, and then at the end, they use the conclusion to sell themself.

They find common themes of problems that these two have. What are the problems that they've mined from this that also happens in this? Then they use that in the conclusion to show how they solve both problems in one solution. An example is PandaDoc. PandaDoc created a solution or rather they created a competitor landing page for DocuSign and HelloSign.

At the end, they mention the word "free." They said DocuSign and HelloSign only give you three e-signatures every month, but they will give you unlimited e-signatures. Already that has captured my attention. That has convinced me because if I'm just looking for only e-signatures, then I'm not going to go to HelloSign or DocuSign.

I'm going to go to PandaDoc that gives me unlimited e-signatures. Now, same thing with reviews. There's a misconception that third-party review websites are the only ones that Google likes to rank or that people trust when reading reviews. But I think you can take control of the narrative if you remain objective, when reviewing your competitors, and then focus on the core features that you do better.

That is why it's so important to personalize your reviews using this kind of best X, specific problem, specific audience style when creating reviews, so it's not just generic. 

4. Pricing pages

Now, next one, pricing pages. This is a core brand asset.

It's navigational keyword. You do not want your competitors ranking for your pricing pages. A mistake I keep seeing is that pricing pages, they just mention generic features and then they put the price at the bottom. The more expensive your tool is, the more the onus is on you to justify your pricing by showing the features that are important to the audience. So you don't just have generic pricing pages.

You have done your market research. You've done your audience research. What is the solution that they are looking for? In order of importance, you start to list those solutions on your pricing pages because that makes them feel like this tool is worth paying for. Now, if you have add-ons on your tool, and as your tool becomes more popular, you start to notice that people, the way that your audience searches for the pricing page on Google or other search engines changes.

This is a generic search for Zoom, Zoom pricing, how much is Zoom. But as you start having more add-ons, like Zoom Webinar, you start seeing people not just searching for Zoom pricing but searching for that specific add-on pricing. This was a search that I made when I was thinking of using Zoom Webinar for the FCDC. All right.

5. Modifiers to download something

Next one, modifiers to download something. This is just an essential group of content to create because it allows you to capture emails, and you need those emails to feed something for your email team to build content around. Now, examples, free templates, free plan. You can see I keep mentioning the word "free" because "free" is a magic word that gets people to listen and click. So what you do with that, when you're doing your keyword research, you can just filter by typing in the word template, plan, checklist, calculator, spreadsheet, playbook, infographic, ebook, and then the search results from your keyword results is going to just start showing only researched information that mentions these things.

You can just click on all of that, export it into a Google spreadsheet and then use that to start creating content. Another way to find content that requires downloadable assets is when you plug in that keyword on Google SERP, the SERP is going to tell you if you need to create an asset for it.

The third way is to look at the content and then ask yourself, "Will this content be more actionable with an asset?" For example, if you create something that requires a calculator, even if nothing on the SERP is showing calculator, then it makes sense to provide that asset. If you're the first person to provide that asset, then you've given yourself an edge.

You've given your user something more than everyone else, and very soon, you start to notice that other people start following you. 

6. Personalized landing pages

Finally, personalized landing pages. This only works if you know your audience and the problems that your product solves for them. Example, scheduling tool for project management. Now, let's use Calendly as an example.

Calendly must have done their research to discover that some of their audiences are project managers that use Calendly to schedule meetings. That only happens from building buyer persona and identifying the problem that that audience faces. Same thing with UX research software for designers. Anyone who is creating this tool, example Aurelius, EnjoyHQ, Dovetail, must have built buyer personas to determine that designers are one of their core audience, UX researchers are one of their core audience, copywriters are one of their core audience.

Then they can build personalized landing pages that target the specific solution that these people are coming for, because every audience type is going to have something else that they are looking for in a product. And these are six ways that you can use these content formats to make more money for your brand.

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