#I love them to death but they are so close emotionally sometimes it’s horrible

[rekino2114]

Hmmm, how about Teruko with a boyfriend who's actually like Rose and has a perfect memory. And Teruko comforting him over the negative side effects of having one. Such as remembering every accident she's been in and how she looked after they happened and the trauma of seeing her after she was almost killed in chapter 1.

Teruko tawaki with a reader with perfect memory

[Spoilers for all of drdt]

A/n:tbh I have no idea why I got so much into writing this.......actually I do know, I love teruko, and I love comfort fics so that's why

Teruko always knew of your condition. She knew that it could sometimes be helpful but that it was mostly a curse, and she did her best to help you with it, even if it wasn't much, you were still very grateful that she was there to help you.

You never told her that you actually remembered all of her accidents, how she looked after all of them, the terrible expression of pain on her face, the bleeding wounds, and the screams. Those images filled your worst nightmares, ones you had of losing her. It would have been too much guilt for her to bear, to know that ,even indirectly, her luck and her were the cause of your sleepless nights.

But that changed you went to Hope's peak. On the bright side, you got to meet Rose, and you two got along amazingly, bonding over your condition and helping each other deal with it, teruko even asked her for advice just to help you.

But on the other hand, the killing game started.

Teruko became ten times more protective over you, even to the point of sleeping in the same room to make sure you weren't killed, which you definitely weren't complaining about, but it made hiding the nightmares harder.

Despite being with you most of the time, she still trusted Xander and went alone in the computer room with him, which resulted in her getting stabbed. You almost threw up when you entered the room, seeing not only Xander's body but your own girlfriend with a knife in her stomach was too much, even after she woke up the only thing you could see was the blood on her shirt.

You helped her during the trial, defending her until the last moment, and you were actually very helpful, especially because of how well you remembered the crime scene. Even if remembering all of that was emotionally hurting you, you knew that if everyone voted wrong, not only would you die, but you'd have to see teruko executed too, and that would have just destroyed you before your death.

You tried your best to close your eyes during min's execution, arei's body discovery and ace's death, but you could still see the rabid dogs, hanging body, and just every way to die in your mind. It hurt so bad, every memory felt like a nightmare replaying in your head. You tried to hang on to good memories of teruko, but those were ruined because all you could see was fresh blood and a sharp knife penetrating her abdomen.

As if all that wasn't enough, teruko was about to get shot. You genuinely could not imagine what terrible pain she was going to feel and you just could not handle seeing and remembering all that, you wanted to scream to cry to get in front of her but for some reason your body froze and you couldn't. you saw levi get shot.

After staying in the trial grounds for a while and thinking in her dorm, the first person teruko wanted to see was you. She wanted to apologize for everything, especially for letting you see that scene, but she couldn't find you in the dining hall at breakfast and after suppressing the horrible idea that immediately came to her, she decided to ask Charles

"Hey, where's y/n?"

"He didn't leave his room since the trial"

"What?"

"Yeah, eden went to check on him but said he sounded weak and sad and that it's better to leave him alone"

"You didn't think of actually going in his dorm?"

"Eden told us he said he wanted to be left alone"

Teruko sighed angrily and went over to your dorm, she couldn't imagine how you felt, she had been so selfish, only thinking about herself and the killing game, that she completely ignored how her boyfriend would feel after seeing all those bodies, she mentally reprimanded herself as she knocked on your door

"Y/n, it's me teruko, open please, I wanna talk"

She released a breath she didn't know she was holding when after a bit,you opened your door, you looked so miserable, the red eyes making it obvious you had been crying, she immediately pulled you into an hug and went inside the room, closing the door in the meanwhile.

She was ready to comfort you to tell you that everything was gonna be alright, that now that she was ready to start trusting other people again, she was going to protect you even more. She herself didn't know how much she believed in what she said (except for the last part, she was definitely going to protect you) but she needed to be there for you.

What she wasn't ready for was for you to pull yourself out of her arms and chest and start walking away from her

"Y-y/n what Is it?"

".......i-i'm sorry teru it's just......I want to be alone right now"

"But that's not going to help you, you have me y/n please let me help you"

"I........i"

Teruko instantly got worried when she saw you starting to shake and cry again. She went to hug you again, only for you to burst into tears and curl up in a ball

"I....I can't do this anymore! *sniffle* all the blood, the wounds, the pain, i-it's all so clear, i hate it, please make it stop!"

You started breathing heavily, almost hyperventilating. Teruko stood there shocked for a moment before regaining her composure and understanding what was going on. She pulled you into yet another hug, but this time, she held tighter onto you and started comforting you right away.

"It's alright y/n, I'm here"

"T-teru"

"I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, what rose said during the trial, it must apply to you too.......and all the accidents I've been in, you remember them don't you?"

"I......I'm sorry, I didn't want to worry you"

"It's fine, I know, but I'm sorry"

"It's......It's not your fault"

".........*sighs* OK, but just know that I'm here and I will never leave you, no matter what happens, I'll always be with you, no matter how many accidents happen, I will survive for you"

"..........thank you......so much"

"It's the least I could do, but please, in the future, whenever you're feeling like this tell me ok?"

".....ok"

You got up and wiped your tears, when you looked back at teruko.....the blood was no longer there, you could only see your beautiful girlfriend, all the good memories you had with her flowed into your mind and you smiled and hugged teruko again

"Thank you teru......you have no idea how much I love you, the mere thought of you made all the bad memories go away"

Teruko chuckled and wrapped her arms around you, she was so glad to have this effect on you, and she would keep all the bad memories away from you whenever you needs

"I'm happy to hear that y/n, I love you too.....so much"

[yoohyeon]

My parents love to tell to go see a professional more than actually listened to me

[stars-n-spice]

Silly Squad Alignment Charts

Because I thought it would be fun and silly :)

Find out more about the Silly Squad here!

Of course, have to start with the classic:

Hunter will say they have food at home and it's literally like probably two slices of bread, a bottle of ketchup, and a head of lettuce

Viram KNOWS how to cook so you best be happy to eat her food instead of having Mcdonalds

Khea and Echo it depends on their mood whether they pull up and order a single black coffee before leaving (Echo would never do it if Omega is in the car)

Crosshair doesn't even like their coffee but he does it to be a little shit

Feel like Tech is also kinda in the middle because he'll be like "Technically we have food at home-" but he also needs his caffeine

Phee will ALWAYS pull up to the Mcdonalds, especially when Omega's with her. Then Omega always holds it over Hunter- "Well, PHEE takes ME to Mcdonalds!"

Tay is the definition of a bastard (no seriously)

Phee is bastard (affectionate) but would technically be more of "Badass" than anything

Khea, Crosshair, and Tech are the Bitch Trio and if you put them in a room together they WILL tear each other apart (emotionally most likely but Tech will goad Crosshair and Khea into physically fighting each other while he records)

Majority of the squad is Babey though

Echo is also "Bad Ass" but he could also be a Bitch if he wanted

Hunter is Bastard just because I think it's funny

Dumb Bitch Hunter my beloved <3

Echo is sad dick because he has no dick

I use dumb affectionately with Wrecker (not with Hunter and Tay)

Tech just has big dick energy to me idk

Khea's a sad hoe but she'll never admit to it (the being sad part)

If you've noticed, I really like making fun of Hunter that's why he's there in the dumbass squared category

Wrecker, Khea, and Phee are all smart as fuck but have more fun pretending that they aren't really

Tay is good at pretending that he is smart - he is not

Then of course, Tech, Cross, and Echo are all smartasses

This fit so perfectly I was dying

Hunter is laughing nervously because he's aroace lmao

Omega would be like "Thanks! :D" and just carry on

Jung would most likely do *thumbs up* instead of finger guns though

When you pair up the couples, it's funnier

If Tay said "I know" after Cross told him that he loved him, Crosshair would dump him on the spot

Khea tells Wrecker she loves him for the first time and he short circuits and probably would say something along the lines of "YEET!"

Viram and Echo both have issues and would not be able to comprehend why someone would love them - I'm sure Echo's got insecurities and Viram knows she's a workaholic and therefore difficult to be in a relationship so she apologies in advance

If Phee told Tech she loved him and he went "a horrible decision, really" she'd probably laugh

And of course, who doesn't love Phee? If you don't, get out of here.

Crosshair could care less, he ain't dealing with that shit

Tech would say this ominously as if he's seen the future and knows your death is imminent meanwhile Khea's is more of a - "you probably will because everyone close to me has already died" sort of way :/

I feel like Omega might also be "i'd die for you first" too

Hunter, Viram, and Echo don't want to deal with that shit either, they've already got so much loss, guilt, and other things on their plate

Tay's probably not listening when someone tells him they'd die for him while Phee's like, "Oh, neat. Anyways, as I was saying about my last adventure-"

Jung is ready and willing to put his life on the line and Wrecker would probably more like a "Nu uh" because he's got your back and would look out for you

Phee will also do it for some credits or a cool treasure

Tay is going to fight god (and he's going to lose)

Tech could do so much more than take down the government, but he needs incentives (him and Phee can take down the government together <3)

Khea is a bounty hunter, her job literally requires her to stab people sometimes in order for her to get money

Crosshair would stab without anyone needing to ask him

Echo's taking down the government no matter what, but especially if Rex asks him to come along

Jung is going to fight god if you ask them to (and he'll win)

Viram is the type of friend who is an excellent tutor and you end up understanding the concept after getting her help meanwhile Omega will explain what she knows and then the homework becomes a group project of figuring out what the fuck it's asking

You can copy Hunter's homework but there is no guarantee that the answers are right (most of them are wrong)

You can copy Jung's homework and there's a high chance the answers are right

Khea had better things to do than homework - like get frustrated over it and cry for a bit before giving up on it

Phee did some of the homework but she'll only help you out if you give her something in exchange

Wrecker and Tay, beloved himbos, they had no idea and even if they did do the homework, you wouldn't want to copy off of them

Crosshair also didn't do the homework but he also doesn't want to respond

Tech and Echo both did the homework and it's correct but they don't tolerate copying work to even have suggested it is offensive so now you're left on read

[french-unknown]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑: nami 𝐂/𝐖: fluff, domestic 𝐖/𝐂: 2.2k+

| m a s t e r l i s t |

𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐛𝐲 @𝐭𝐡𝐞-𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭-𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞

𝐀 = 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 

How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?

She is quite affectionate towards you, especially with physical contact. She enjoys being physically close with you and won't hesitate to show you affection in public, whether by holding your hand, wrapping her arm around yours, or kissing you.

Her main love language remains the giving of gifts of all kinds. She likes to give you physical proof of her love so that you can have tangible objects to remind you how much she cares about you or your times together.

𝐁 = 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃

What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?

Don't think she'll have any remorse for scamming you

Navigator by day, image consultant by night

Hope to have spare neurons because punches to the head will rain

You met on Thriller Bark. More precisely, she first met your shadow in the body of one of Doctor Hogback's zombies. Indeed, you were with Laura when she was looking for Nami in order to kill her for having stolen her lover. After many adventures where Nami ended up getting closer to your zombie self and the warthog zombie, you were killed by Absalom. Saddened by your death, she was surprised when, before her departure, she found your human self with the human Laura in the Rolling Pirates crew. Your human self immediately got along as well with the Straw Hat Pirates (and Nami) as your zombie self did, so you left your old crew to go to sea with them.

SOURCE | IMDb - S1 E339

𝐂 = 𝐂𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐒

Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?

She's completely okay with that. However, she still needs her space. She is an independent woman who grew up on her own and who, although she greatly appreciates the cuddles she was deprived of growing up, also likes having her moments alone.

Like a cat, she tolerates you more or less well when you come to her, but it's mainly her who chooses if she's in the mood to receive your attention. So you sometimes find yourself with a cuddly Nami who comes and sits on your lap or, other times, she gives you the cold shoulder because it's not the right moment for her.

𝐃 = 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂

Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?

She agrees to settle down but not before fulfilling her dream.

Moreover, rather than settling down with you, it's above all the prospect of creating her own family that makes her dream. Like Bell-mère, she would like to take in orphaned children later in order to raise them like her adoptive mother did. She sincerely wishes to be able to give them as much love and determination as she received when she was younger, with the aim of honoring her mother.

𝐄 = 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆

If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?

She wouldn't want to be in the wrong role so she would tend to become horrible to you with the intention that you would be the one to break up with her.

She would forget your birthdays, set you up on dates and never come or she would purposely make you jealous. Her attention to you will become almost zero and, if you try to talk to her about the problem, she will deny it outright. She won't feel particularly proud or ashamed of acting like this, she just doesn't want to be the person who gives you "breakup victim" status at her expense.

𝐅 = 𝐅𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄(𝐄)

How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?

She's okay with that. She loves you and flirting with others is only a means to an end so why not marry you?

However, expect to find her from time to time without her wedding ring on her finger. She will not hesitate to take it off so she can seduce her targets and not let them slip through her fingers just because she is already married.

𝐆 = 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐄

How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?

Surprisingly, she is one of the least physically gentle of the crew. She's the only one who won't hesitate for a single second to punch you or give you dramatic slaps to make her point. However, these are just one-shots that always have valid justification. 

Emotionally, however, she is one of the nicest. She is very attentive to your feelings and will be very interested in your mental well-being.

𝐇 = 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐒

Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?

She enjoys hugs when she's in the mood, and it happens very regularly. Her hugs are generally quite light and are mainly used to relax her or just for fun but, if she becomes more melancholy thinking of Bell-mère, Nojiko or Cocoyasi for example, they will be a real source of comfort for her.

Then expect to find yourself with a Nami wrapped around you who will refuse to let go of you until she feels a little better. And that means preventing you from doing your daily tasks.

𝐈 = 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔

How fast do they say the L-word?

It takes a while. However, once she really trusts you and feels secure enough in your relationship, she will tell you. Not often, unfortunately, but at key moments.

𝐉 = 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐘

How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?

She can get jealous quite easily but she won't let you know right away.

If she thinks someone is paying too much attention to you for her liking and you don't seem to be cooling them down quickly, she will first try to take your attention away from them. She will then insert herself into the conversation before offering you to extend it further, just the two of you, by accompanying her to do the first activity that comes to her mind. But, if you don't pick up the signals, goodbye to you because she will become colder than the 5th level of Impel Down. You'll get the cold shoulder for weeks and it's not your excuses that will change much.

𝐊 = 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒

What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?

Her favorite place to kiss you is on your cheeks.

Strangely, she enjoys kissing you there when you're already cuddling. You're already in her arms so it's easy for her to bring your face back towards her while placing her lips against your cheek before pulling away and sinking deeper into the hug. This fairly domestic side pleases her quite well.

𝐋 = 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒

How are they around children?

She defends children tooth and nail like a mother lioness.

For her family, she will imitate as best she can the behavior that Bell-mère had towards her and Nojiko. She will want to be strong, pass on her values to them (you will not kill, but stealing is okay), and above all, never make them doubt her love. She will protect them with her life if she has to.

𝐌 = 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆

How are mornings spent with them?

It's sweet.

She will tend to like to stay in bed with you a little longer to cuddle and go back to sleep, so she prefers that you both sleep in her bed in her room. It's the place where she's most comfortable and, besides, Robin usually gets out as soon as she's awake to leave the room for the two of you to wake up in peace.

𝐍 = 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

How are nights spent with them?

She is relatively quiet apart from a few changes of position during the night. However, she also doesn't snore or move around excessively, so it's okay.

You just have to be careful that she doesn't take up all the space by placing herself in the middle of the bed throughout the night. It sometimes happens to her to monopolize it and end up pushing you towards the edges if she is not in your arms or you in hers.

𝐎 = 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍

When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?

At first she wouldn't say anything. You will learn from the Straw Hat Pirates that she had been in Arlong's crew after they took her childhood village and its inhabitants hostage. And also that it was they who had saved her by defeating Arlang and his group. She didn't care if others talked to you about it.

After a certain point though, when she will truly trusts you, she will become an open book. She will tell you about her childhood, her thoughts and her worries. You will become one of her main supports in her life and an attentive ear.

𝐏 = 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

How easily angered are they?

It's not just her attacks that go at lightning speed!

𝐐 = 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐙𝐙𝐄𝐒

How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?

She is very observant and will always pay close attention to what you say or do.

So, she remembers a lot of facts about you and will be the kind of person who can differentiate all the people in your life before the Straw Hat Pirates and how they would be related to you. At first, it would make you doubt yourself about how much you talk about yourself or if you repeat yourself so that she knows so much but, very quickly, you will realize that it is simply that she puts a point of honor into always knowing more about you.

𝐑 = 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑

What is their favorite moment in your relationship?

She was working on a map in the library when she realized that she was almost out of her favorite ink that she used to color her compass rose. She regretted this color, which had become her favorite shade of orange, because it was difficult to find due to the fact that it was made from a crushed root only found at a certain time of the year on a handful of West Blue Islands.

Over the weeks that followed, she could only watch helplessly as her bottle emptied. This shade was not essential and had mostly been a fad of the moment. This time however, she decided to buy some cheap orange ink that she would find on the next island.

But one fine morning, as she sat behind her desk, she saw a new glass jar among the old ones. She recognized her favorite shade at first glance but, not believing her eyes, she dipped her pen in it anyway before drawing a line on a blank sheet of paper. It was the right shade. She then noticed that the gift was accompanied by a little note from you.

Happy, she smiles.

𝐒 = 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐘

How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?

N.O.P.E

She love you but, unless you are seriously injured or unable to fight and then she will not hesitate for a second to defend you, otherwise you will be her human shield. She’s not part of the Weakling Trio for nothing!

So she likes it when you protect her during fights or in dangerous situations in general.

𝐓 = 𝐓𝐑𝐘

How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?

She would make a lot of effort for your relationship whether it be for dates, anniversaries or even gifts. She makes a point of finding objects or activities that you will like or that are best suited to you. She will also make an effort at everyday tasks.

On the other hand, this means that she also expects a lot from you. Don't expect her to accept half-planned dates, anniversaries celebrated at 11:50 p.m., or general and basic gifts. She wants your attentions to be as thorough, incredible and personalized as what she would have done for you.

𝐔 = 𝐔𝐆𝐋𝐘

What would be some bad habits of theirs?

The importance of money in her life is immense. And that’s an understatement!

Where she could be nice in real life, money makes her take on another personality that is much less attractive or pleasant. She will become more opportunistic, shameless, and unpredictable, even if it means embarrassing you. During your adventures, you will see her accepting the stupidest bets just in order to win more money even though you know full well that she has tons of it. You also don't approve of the abusive debt that certain members of the crew have towards her.

And, even though you know she would give her money if it saved one of her friends, you still remain very bothered by this obsession.

𝐕 = 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘

How concerned are they with their looks?

The attention she pays to her looks is just insane: she's a fashionista and she doesn't hide it! Each time you arrive on a new island with boutiques, she will take you around them with her—welcome to your role as a mule—in order to find new treasures to expand her wardrobe.

However, when it comes to dressing, only her opinion counts. She always appreciates your compliments on her outfits but they are secondary because she only dresses for her personal happiness.

𝐖 = 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐄

Would they feel incomplete without you?

No. She will most certainly miss you a lot but she will never feel incomplete because of another human being.

𝐗 = 𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀

A random headcanon for them

✧ She was walking past a jewelry store one day when she noticed two assorted rings that looked particularly beautiful in the window.

✧ She bought them without even thinking about it and then found herself with the couple's jewelry. She gave you one.

✧ She realized that day that, for some reason unknown even to her, she had a real weakness for couples accessories. She may have liked the fact that you had something in common but she's still not very sure.

𝐘 = 𝐘𝐔𝐂𝐊

What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?

She refuses to be with someone who doesn't care about their appearance. She agrees that not everyone necessarily loves clothes and fashion as much as she does, but she is uncompromising about taking care of their image. There is no way she will be with someone who has poor hygiene, like Zoro, or who doesn't look neat (proper and clean haircut, neat nails, clean clothes without holes in public, etc.).

Another little paradox she has is that she will be very annoyed that you spend money on yourself (food, clothes, fun) but at the same time she will greatly appreciate you spending money on her (dates or gifts). This leads to somewhat awkward situations when you want to surprise her and therefore have to ask her for money before setting foot on land. At the time, you will be treated with a darker look than the Yami Yami no Mi's user (Dark-Dark Fruit) and yet, the moment you surprise her, she will be over the moon.

𝐙 = 𝐙𝐙𝐙

What is a sleep habits of theirs?

She tends, if you don't cuddle up at night, to gradually settle in the middle of the bed and steal the blanket.

At first, she will go quietly to her side but she will end up falling asleep and therefore moving towards the center of the bed while at the same time pushing you to the end of your side. You had already fallen off the mattress in the middle of the night and woke up, completely disoriented, only to realize that she had stolen the entire place and the duvet.

𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @iheartamora @bontensh0e @opchara @idsmash717 @lys-ada @xomingyu @dozcan123 @anotherproblemsos

[meta-squash]

Some other general all-over-the-place Torchwood thoughts that are coming up as I'm writing a post-Cyberwoman fic:

I'd love to know why they decided Ianto canonically lives in Radyr. It would make sense if, like Owen between seasons 1 and 2, Ianto maybe moved to Radyr. But I feel like it would make much more sense for Ianto to live in Splott or Roath or someplace like that in season 1, or at least while Lisa was still in the hub.

Radyr is a fairly nice, well-off area and a shortish commute (30mins) but still longer than Ianto probably would want. If he was planning on restoring Lisa to health and then leaving and taking her with him to live somewhere else, I would think he'd want to live in the cheapest place he could find. I also think he'd want to live somewhere very close to the hub, so he could get there as quickly as possible if something went wrong with Lisa in the night. If he were in Splott/Roath/Adamsdown/somewhere like that, it would be both cheap(er) and a less than 15 minute drive to the hub in the day, probably even shorter at night. (Plus it would totally explain his "I believe estate agents pronounce it 'Splo' quip in Day One.)

I've also always hated the weird timeline of Ianto's early Torchwood 3 employment. By Fragments, he's been there less than 2 years. Which would mean that by the time of Suzie's death, he'd probably only been there a month or two. I feel like all of the stakes and all of the interactions during Cyberwoman would make so much more sense if he'd already been there at least 4 months or longer. His "When was the last time you asked me anything about my life" is a much heavier truth if he's been there long enough that they're comfortable with him and consider him a fully established part of the team and not just someone still a little new. It would probably take him months to use Torchwood's resources to find Tanizaki, plan out all the details of getting Lisa well and getting all three of them safely out of and away from the hub, and get contingency plans in place. The stakes would be much higher if he'd been keeping her alive for like 4 or 5 months rather than just 2 or 3, meaning the shock of her not actually being fully Lisa and the manipulation of cyberman-mind would be a lot more intense and Ianto's denial a lot stronger.

On the opposite end of the observation spectrum, I'm so glad they kept in the "You think you're a hero, but you're the biggest monster of all" line, which was originally supposed to be cut. A lot of Jack's behaviors are really fucked up and horrible. Sometimes it's because he doesn't have a choice (Small Worlds), sometimes it's because he's too emotionally involved (Cyberwoman) and sometimes it's just plan fucked up (Combat). I think it's a great quote for Ianto to say because it really does highlight the things Jack does or the decisions he makes or the commands he gives that go just a little too far. And it reveals the lack of that "how far is too far" questioning, the examination of what is ethical or humane or whatever. And because Jack is immortal he constantly has to live with his actions, and there's always that question of will he become numb to it all. And of course that sentiment that he's the biggest monster of all is constantly turned on him again and again by other people and he has to continue to live with it and decide whether it hardens him or whether he allows it to change him in a more progressive or positive way.

[punkiio]

Julius and Gemi infodump

I had recently written out a huge infodump abt them on toyhouse and I realized I can post it here too !! I think I'll add stuff to it too

Julius is a serial killer and Gemi is his roommate. Julius works as a funeral celebrant and kills people he deems as evil, since he is trying to get rid of evil people in the world, but thinks he is justified in killing these people. He fully believes he is doing something good and that everyone else just don't understand him. Julius sort of thinks he is a complex person and believes everyone else is two dimensional and boring, that they don't think beyond the norm. He believes bad people are born evil and will always be evil. He doesn't believe anything will help these people other than to take them out to make sure they don't do anything bad ever again. The reason he thinks this way is because in his childhood, his parents were pretty horrible to him. He tried seeking help at school multiple times but nothing really happened. No one helped him, so he was stuck with these evil people. The only thing that ended his misery was someone murdering his parents. Death was the only thing that got rid of the evil in his life, so that must be the only solution.

Now for Gemi, he's a bit more "average". He's poor, works at a record store, is a seemingly "boring" person. Gemi is a pretty quiet and introverted person. He doesn't really like talking to new people and comes off as monotone and uninterested when he talks to people. Possibly a little rude sometimes. Gemi, however, has pent up anger issues. He also had a messed up past due to his parents, and this caused him to develop anger issues. For the most part he doesn't act out on anyone, he just hides it. A sort of polar opposite to Julius, who lashes out against people he dislikes by full on killing them, when Gemi rarely even raises his voice. On top of this, Gemi has intrusive thoughts about hurting people he dislikes. Julius feeds into this. Gemi also has no idea Julius is a killer

As Julius learns more about Gemi, he begins to realize that their stories are very similar. They were both mistreated as kids and no one would help them. Because of this, Julius becomes obsessively in love with Gemi. He would do anything for Gemi, and believes that Gemi is perfect. That Gemi can do nothing wrong. That Gemi will one day think just like him, unlike everyone else in their fucked up society. Julius' world begins to sort of revolve around Gemi, the obsession he has is definitely unhealthy but he doesn't know nor does he really care. This is the first time he has felt a connection to another person. The first time he could relate to another person (as if he ever tried getting close to anyone else). Gemi is also the first other trans person Julius has ever met. He basically doesn't know how to handle these emotions I guess... His obsession is so intense that he'll kill people who have been rude or mistreat Gemi (at one point in their story Gemi's parents come visit, and after they leave he ends up killing them). Julius wants to protect Gemi as much as he can from being hurt again (emotionally, because he is completely fine with Gemi getting in fights as long as Gemi wins). Julius buys Gemi gifts and leaves notes with them, one example being an expensive cologne that he left with a note describing how he thought it would smell good on Gemi.

Gemi's feelings about Julius is a lot more tame, but still hold meaning. Julius is gentle with Gemi, he doesn't raise his voice, move unpredictably, and uses kind words towards him. Julius doesn't touch people a lot but when he touches Gemi it's always gentle. Gemi isn't used to it, and that kindness is what attracted Gemi to Julius. Which is funny, because Gemi was borderline terrified of Julius when they first met and started living together. Can't blame him though, Julius is very unsettling. But once he started to open up to Julius, he started to feel more comfortable around him, despite Julius rarely talking about himself. Gemi was just happy he had someone he could talk to when he was alone with his thoughts. Julius was always so understanding, and so the person he was once terrified of is now someone he seeks comfort from. Julius LOVES this, he loves knowing everything there is to know about Gemi, and he loves Gemi feeling dependent on him. However, Gemi doesn't know about Julius' obsession over him. He just thinks they're friends. Gemi sometimes has nightmares about him and Julius trying to kill each other and he isnt sure why. When he tells Julius about it, Julius almost seems happy or excited about it. Something about Gemi telling him he had a dream where Gemi had his hands around his throat excites him and makes his heart skip a beat.

Gemi also has a best friend named Royce. Royce always feels uncomfortable around Julius and thinks he is unsettling and that there is something off about him. He always expresses these concerns with Gemi, who always brushes it off as "you don't get him like I do" and "He's less scary once you're around him for a while". Gemi believes that everyone just has the wrong idea about Julius, including himself when he first met him. However, Julius likes Royce. Of course not as much as he likes Gemi, but he does leave anonymous gifts for Royce at his house with a thank you note, which makes Royce feel uneasy. Julius purposely changes his handwriting so they can't match it up with the notes Julius leaves for Gemi.

[roobylavender]

second tag meme and also from @ravenkinnie: book recs!

no time to spare / ursula le guin / i've been slowly trying to make my way through her essay collections and this is one i really love so far. i also read words are my matter but that one had some of her more questionable political stances so i enjoyed this one bc it was focused on more generic and personal topics

good intentions / kasim ali / i would honestly highly recommend this to south asians specifically bc i don't think i've seen any other book that holds south asian millennials accountable for their tendency to damn their parents to inflexibility from the outset and then fail to hold themselves accountable for never challenging traditional mindsets. this book specifically deals with anti-blackness within the south asian community and i think it does a fantastic job of it (please wait until the end bc it does end as it deserves to end but for a moment you will get worried towards the middle that it won't go that way lol. trust me)

the king of attolia / megan whalen turner / obv i would rec the queen's thief series in general but this is by and large my favorite of the whole series (well. bar the sixth book which closely ties with it) and much as i am sure everyone loved this series the most when it was from eugenides's perspective i cannot help but think that i never love eugenides more than when i read about him through the perspective of those who love him dearly

each little bird that sings / deborah wiles / this was a pretty formative book in my childhood esp wrt the concept of how children process death. it's actually part of a quartet of companion novels, each of which i love dearly and one of which is actually the inspiration for my current username, but i think this one is executed the best and it also happens to be the most well known installment, definitely for good reason

supreme inequality / adam cohen / i feel like if you're not necessarily into studying the law but want to gain a better, in-depth understanding of why we are where we are right now with american law this is a good book to read. it corrects a lot of misconceptions around the idea that the supreme court was ever consistently progressive (ie severe brevity and breakdown of the social welfare oriented burger era) and discusses the evolution of judicial interpretation of major topics over the course of the last several decades

the f team / rawah arja / this came as a rec in a melina marchetta newsletter and i'm so glad it did! it's a really fun and messy look into life as a lebanese-australian boy and what i think it does well is not shy away from culturally ingrained flaws, rather seek to dissect and understand them and highlight how crucial an emotionally mature and communication-dependent upbringing is for young muslim/arab boys. there are a few jokes here and there that caught the side eye from me bc they felt severely lacking in self-awareness but other than that i really enjoyed it

the piper's son / melina marchetta / my favorite marchetta novel forever and always, and the second installment in the inner west trilogy of companion novels, following saving francesca. what i really adore about this one is the interplay of grief between so many people and this guilt you have to overcome over the impact of the death of a loved one on your life. bc sometimes it utterly tears you apart and other times it brings you together and the emotions of that are so horribly complicated. i also simply adore the continued exploration of the main friend group and how as harsh as the girls are on tom they are so protective and dedicated, too, bc that's how they all are with each other. it's a book that constantly makes me ache

beloved / toni morrison / interestingly i find this book to be highly relevant considering the recent abortion fiasco in the american legal scene and its relation to abusive domestic situations but it's also one of the books i loved reading the most in undergrad particularly bc of its brutal exploration into how oppressed peoples are driven to self-inflicted violence as a last resort. can you blame a woman for killing her child when the only other option was damning that child to a life of slavery? it's a situation that has to be analyzed with so much empathy and compassion and that's exactly what morrison affords it

the secret garden / frances hodgson burnett / one of two other books i loved reading the most in undergrad (with the third one being north and south). i read this for a british literature class that i took at a time i was severely starting to doubt my degree again after having already gone through a really rough depressive period following jonghyun's death so it really opportunely entered my life. i remember reading the magic monologue towards the end and just crying and crying bc it felt so liberating and while the rest of my undergrad journey was not necessarily a total high i do think this helped comfort me a lot

tagging: @briarhips, @lateafternoonsunlight, @senorscotty, @dankovskaya & @infatuate !

[consumed-by-fandom]

DIDude relationship dynamics. If you care. /lh

[For the peeps who are unfamiliar with my au, D=P1, Dude=P2, and Alt=P3]

D and Dude are dependant on each other full stop. D craves Dude’s ability to seem unfettered by the violence that surrounds them, but equally despises how Dude brings that chaos to them in the first place. He’s risky with seemingly no regard for the system and it pisses D off so much. But at the same time he constantly needs Dude to protect him from the shit they’re surrounded with and to slap some sense into him when his delusions get the better of him. And Dude just… doesn’t understand D At All. He’s stuck in his own perspective of the world and he wants D to see it through his eyes so badly but his way of doing that does nothing but hurt D (a trait that gets passed on to Other Dude when he gets split off). He’s just constantly confused as to why D keeps getting angry at him, and he treats him terribly but he doesn’t want to deep down. God knows he cares so much for D to the point its painful, but he sees showing even the slightest vulnerability to be a sign of weakness, a sign that he can be taken advantage of. Has this horrible connection between being emotionally honest and being hurt.

Rip all that away though and they both absolutely adore each other deep down. D has a softness that both disgusts and endears Dude and he can’t help but crave that attention and affection when its given to him. Being trusted or told he’s doing a good job breaks him to his core. And D really looks up to Dude and how he will always try to protect them, and D would do the same for him. They both need each other too much and hate how they handled things last time (Postal 1)

Alt tends to act as a middle ground to facilitate between their arguments and how they act towards one another, and if they just sat down and tried to talk things out they’d probably never let go of each other ever again. There’s the potential to get along really well, but they’re also severely traumatised and have terrible ways of coping with that.

Speaking of Alt, in general he acts like a bit of a caregiver to them both, being the most mature out of all of them despite being the youngest system-wise. Being split with shallow emotions and holding Dude’s memories he’s a little more favourable towards Dude to the point of kinda being more than a little into him. He thinks his recklessness is cute. He’s a little silly. He’s got a weird way of deciding when to be the rational thinker and when he just wants to complete a goal in the most violent way possible. It’s not that he’s aching to get into trouble, he’s just more focused on getting the task done that a few rolling heads are just “casualties”. Bearing all this in mind though he usually tries to be both the angel and devil on Dude’s shoulder to varying effects. Shows his affection by being the more irritable son of a bitch in the world. He’s confusing. But he’s understandable once you actually give him the space to be honest about why he does the things he does, and he usually has Dude’s best interests at heart.

Dude can’t decide whether or not he wants to choke him to death or make out with him. Alt confuses him too much and he doesn’t like it.

He’s far more gentle with D on the other hand, though he doesn’t speak to him as much since D rarely wants to front, he’s able to calm him down enough to not freak out and have a breakdown on the worser nights. Very much cares for him though as to why even he doesn’t really understand. D still doesn’t fully trust him because he’s still this intruder who showed up one day, and it took D basically 15+ years to stop calling Dude a demon. But sometimes Alt gives him the comfort he usually craves from Dude and its more than enough to develop a fond opinion of him. They’ve talked a lot when they got the chance. They’re… close to an extent, Rarely gets pissed off at Alt.

Ugh I love these dysfunctional weirdos lmao

[havenmoodz]

Sfw Alphabet! ft. Luke

a/n: Ik I said fluff, but I wanted to do alphabets first! <3

cw! kidnapping, alcoholism, mentions of partying/being under the influence, mentions of death threats (not to you or Luke), mentions of violence, implied trauma, mentions of manipulation, some suggestive stuff but not nsft

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Extremely affectionate. Almost a bit too affectionate. Doesn’t know the concept of personal space, he can’t help it though…he just loves you so much! He loves playing music for you, especially when you’ve had a bad day. Will definitely cling onto you and not leg go if you have to do something. Everyday is a leg day for him, well– if you count him clinging on to your leg every other minute. Why can’t you just do it with him on you? :( Has an amazing voice, so he makes sure to use it when you’re feeling down…or during something else~

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Manicures, shopping, hair makeover’s, did I mention the manicures? Would let you do his makeup wether or not you’re good at it. Definitely has scary dog privileges, would death stare everyone who gets in a 2 metre radius of you. He would literally take you out every other night to go to special events that he was invited to. Wanna party? Sure! You want drinks? Of course~ You’re so tired you can’t even stay awake long enough to get to the car? It’s okay, he’ll carry you! 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cuddles? You mean his personal play time to squeeze the everliving daylights out of you? Of course! He often doesn’t realize how hard he squeezes you until you tell him that you could feel your ribcage cracking like glass. He’ll stop immediately, apologizing and opting for you to be the big spoon instead, but it just looks like you’re clinging onto him for dear life. Still adorable though! He loves it when you settle your head in the crook of his neck, it makes him feel close to you. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Isn’t really looking into getting married. He’d still do it if you wanted him though! Pretty average at domestic chores, not the sharpest tool in the shed. Can make a mad batch of cookies though. One time he forgot to wear gloves when cleaning with window cleaner and bleach and he lost a bit of the top layer of his skin for a while. Mostly relies on your cooking or takeout. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Ooo….mmm…good luck? He ironically doesn’t have that much of a mental break about it, considering his obsession with you. He’d definitely make you feel horrible about it though. To be fair, it was honestly expected; but he’d make it as painless as possible…maybe a hard hit to the head? He’d let you choose <3

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Again, isn’t really a marriage kind of guy. He would prove his commitment to you in other ways though! Gifts, cuddles (Squeezes), anything you’d desire! There’s no going back after he’s invested, good luck getting out. Isn’t the type of guy to want to control you…necessarily…? He wants you to have a free will, but will take things into his own hands if he thinks it’s for your own good. He’s only thinking of the best when it comes to you <3

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Meh…he’s gentle with you, he doesn’t wanna break you. Although, he’s not the best at physically being gentle…but it’s the thought that counts, right? Would definitely listen to you vent and rant about your daily problems, and sometimes he even does the deed for you!~ Finishes them off quite slowly, and painfully. Doesn’t like the idea of anyone even looking and you, he doesn’t wanna keep you locked up in a room, but if that’s what it takes to keep you safe and his? He’ll do it. 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Loves hugs! Even though it’s pretty obvious, he likes to hide it. He wants to keep a cold demeanour towards people…but he just melts when you hug him, or when he hugs you! His hugs are hearty and warm, he squeezes a bit and doesn’t let go. Once he does though, he usually gives you a little peck anywhere on your face and keeps doing what he was doing before, like nothing happened. 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Actually doesn’t say it very often…he likes physically showing you instead. It’d probably take a moody day for you to make him say it. Those days where you just feel like you aren’t enough? Yeah, he’d say it all the time then. Wants you to feel wanted and appreciated. 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Oh. Uh…let’s just say you don’t wanna know? <3 The second someone gets their filthy hands on you, he strikes! The most brutal screams you’ve heard in your life. He wouldn’t do it in front of you, of course <3 You’re too pure to see what happens, but you can make a mental photo of it…and it doesn’t look very good…

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Kisses mostly are pretty light, and peckish. A quick “mwah” and you’re done. Will do deep, passionate ones if you’re down though. Likes to hold your waist, neck, or cheek while kissing you. Likes kissing you one the tip of your nose, cheek, and forehead…but wouldn’t mind kissing somewhere else ;). Likes being kisses behind his ear, he’s pretty sensitive there. Gets really flustered when you kiss him unexpectedly or when you make the first move!

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Simply, the kids LOVE him, but he HATES kids. Absolutely doesn’t like them. Usually avoids them the best he can, and won’t lash out or purposely make them cry or feel bad. Just minds his own business when it comes to children. He finds babies cute though, he likes it when babies smile and shake their little pacifier when they see him. He just gives off that comforting “cool uncle” vibe, y’know? 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Usually wakes up wayyy before you. A great example of a morning person…without the productivity. He just kinda rolls over to you and stares at you until you wake up. It usually takes a couple hours. If you’re looking for specific time, he usually wakes up at 5:00-5:30. Waits for you to make breakfast, if you’re too lazy? He’ll order some breakfast! Usually does your morning routine with you. He doesn’t really shower in the mornings, but will gladly come with you if you want!

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Not a big night owl, has a pretty strict sleeping schedule. He would stay up if you wanted to though! Or he’d drink with you…or do something fun if you wanna ;). Very picky about bedding, doesn’t like anything too thin. Has to have at least 2 blankets/sheets over him ‘cause he gets cold during the night, even with you there. He has a habit of humming his music while getting ready to go to bed. Has like…a 9 step skincare routine? Don’t worry, he’ll explain it to you! He usually showers first then does everything else; does that thing where he walks around half naked with a towel around his bottom-half. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Although he’s really soft with you and wants to be honest, not much is said about himself.  Has sever trust issues from past experiences reputation breaks, so he’s very cautious about what he reveals about himself. He would eventually open up though, preparing himself for you to actually reject him. Poor baby :(

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Very patient about everything, too scared of rejection to be too impatient. Even if he does get a bit impatient, he rarely actually gets mad. Unless you’re counting the times people stare at you or god forbid touch you…that’s a whole other story. Really good at reading peoples emotions, but really bad at hiding his. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Remembers EVERYTHING. Literally remembers everything from the day he found your existence. Reads you like an open book, knows your habits really well too. He’s kind of embarrassed when it comes down to confessing all the things he knows about you, though. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Every moment spends with you is his favourite <3 

If he had to choose though, it’d be the evening he kidnapped you. He was gentle about it! Or at least he tried to be, only handcuffing your non-dominant hand to the bedpost… Although he doesn’t like seeing you scared, you just looked so cute confused. He couldn’t help it :(

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Very protective of you, will never let you go if someone ever tried to touch you. Death stares, death threats…and actual (very violent) death- Anything to keep you with him <3 It’s not like he doesn’t need you to protect him, he just doesn’t want you to. He thinks it’s his basically his job to protect you, not the other way around. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

As said before, since he remembers everything, he’ll plan out everything at least a month in advance. Reservations, planned gifts, parties, anything! He’s not the best at calculated tasks, he does it more on impulse and need. He does try though! 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

A really bad and toxic habit of subconsciously manipulating people. Uses his persuasiveness to his advantage, that’s mostly how he gets what he wants. He also has a shit ton of mood swings, so he could be overly affectionate on minute, and absolutely cold the other. Only one of them is his real personality though, the cold and ruthless thing is just a mask to seem scary. Doesn’t like to admit it, but he definitely has a wine problem. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He has a very sophisticated routine when it comes to his looks. Maybe cares a bit too much? A bit obsessive over his looks, not enough to become toxic, though. Usually wears makeup to cover some of his blemishes, and wouldn’t mind if you complemented him a bit!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Would quite literally just stare into space for days on end if no one stopped him. Doesn’t know what to do with his life without you. He’d try to live for you, but he just can’t bring himself to do anything productive. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Doesn’t have a massive sweet tooth. Doesn’t like the overly sweet, artificial tasting, grocery store sugar cookies. Makes him feel sick afterwards, prefers whipped cream, cream cheese, or Italian meringue frosting over anything else. Classic American buttercream is just too heavy for him ;p

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Loves everything about you <3

Doesn’t like certain traits though, especially unchecked ego’s. Doesn’t really prefer an open schedule, he works better on a strict routine. Also hates green onions, celery, and parsley. (cilantro’s fine)

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Rolls around a lot, hogs the blankets. Sometimes he’d dig himself into your body while asleep, mostly his brain making sure you’re still there lol

[msommers]

4, 16, 18 for maeve, meredith and jorina!

ok listen do NOT look @ me for this taking so long i WASN'T absorbed in laying in bed, staring @ the ceiling, constantly thinking thoughts but never writing them down. that's crazy talk. anyway thank u ily <333 // oc asks: childhood edition // placing the read more higher up than usual bc shocking nobody, i don't know how to keep answers short and i wanna save everyone's dashboards from this

4) How was your muse's relationship with their childhood guardians? Has it changed over time, and if so, how? Do they keep in touch?

so check it out. i read this question an entirely different way the first time i saw it and had different answers, doubted them for like 15 minutes straight, then redid it all upon realization. so now here we are

MAEVE — bad! not good!! never improved!!! i wouldn't even call Maeve's parents her guardians in any capacity because they were so horrible at that job. they started lowkey coercing her into developing her charm when she first caught a man's attention for being pretty because they wanted to get stuff out of it, emotionally neglected her the entire time she lived with them, made her feel guilty about the most ridiculous things on a regular basis, literally sold her to Carden the same day he voiced his interest in taking her away, etc etc add a dozen other offenses here. what changed over time would be Maeve having the distance and years to process how they treated her (mother straight up abusive, father on a lower level and mostly through his inaction), accepting it, and working on the struggles/damage they saddled her with. no contact at all, even if i did entertain the age old concept of her discovering where they moved to during her travels with a witcher or two, she wants nothing to do with them.

MEREDITH — so close to both parents, her father maybe a little more so due to extra time together but that didn't lessen the bond between her and her mother. Meredith and Bryce spent a great deal of time together as she was interested in following in his footsteps, and eventually being heir of the teyrnir, which required a ridiculous amount of educating (required is a strong term, but they both agreed it was excellent to have and she loved her lessons) and additional hands-on experience being at his side while he attended his duties. they knew how to make each other laugh, his hugs were her favorite thing in all of Thedas, and she was all but his official right-hand lady by the time origins came around tbh. Sometimes she'll make a snide comment that she knew he would have laughed at and it causes a physical ache how terribly she misses the sound. Eleanor was the one to initiate Meredith's rogue training to further her capability, and that's something she'll always be grateful for. Her mother taught her how to read maps, calculate numbers in a battle, properly host visitors, she was also the one to give her lessons in Alamarri to help preserve the language. They could soothe each other's nerves or irritation simply by being at one another's side, and held entire conversations through glances and expressions alone. Her mother's smile always filled her with warmth and she spends the rest of her life wishing she could see it just one more time.

JORINA — so much love was present, even in the times of trying to figure her out. she and her father were happy in their quiet art activities together, but she shied away from his affection when it became too overwhelming. her mother supported Jorina's fierce independence without question, but couldn't understand the introvert’s need to recharge and on occasion pushed her a little too far outside of her boundaries. they were most likely at the stage of classic moody arguments between a mom and teen before Wenna’s death and Jorina regrets that to no end. Renehn fell into a severe depression after Wenna was gone (plus some other events of the blight but who has the time to list) and it irrevocably altered he and Jorina's relationship as she was forced to step up in her mid-teens to provide for the family, but fortunately they get the time to heal from individual wounds and come together down the line to slowly rebuild their relationship with great patience and new understandings of each other. Jorina finding her own love helped an immeasurable amount with her coming to understand what her father went through because she doesn't know what the fuck she'd do with herself if anything happened to Aleksi. they kept in contact through Jorina's letters sent back home while she worked for the Inquisition (her siblings would read them to him until he was able to do so himself), and through the occasional visit when time was free for it. level of contact after events of trespasser depends on what happened there i guess lmao

16) If your muse could say one thing to their childhood self, what would they say? Would your muse want to meet their childhood self in the first place?

MAEVE — she would jump at the chance to meet her childhood self because the girl desperately needed love and attention that she’d be all too happy to provide, no matter how short their time together would be. trouble is!! this would likely be one of the rare scenarios where she’d struggle to find the right words, because her list of potentials would be so goddamn long she wouldn’t know where to start. she’d likely end up giving her a much-needed hug, a kiss to the top of the head, and telling her smth like “you are stronger than any deterrent that this world may try to put in your path, love. never doubt that.” bc y’know. soft girl gonna soft and not recognize the strength needed to endure all the shit she suffers to reach her happiness lmfao

MEREDITH — “never doubt your instincts. not even for a moment.” it was the doubt that Rendon could be up to anything truly horrible That EveningTM which led to Meredith holding her tongue, perhaps a gentle (or rather: intense as hell, calm down she's just a kid, mere-) nudge could alter that. could change everything, could change absolutely nothing at all, worth the shot tho.

JORINA — she wouldn’t want to meet her childhood self one bit, she'd get so depressed lol. even when she was young, Jorina was always trying to act older than she was and missed out on a lot of the youthful joy and activities she should’ve had because of that. she’d want to tell her to go play with the other kids, put down the chores for a few hours and just have fun, but i don’t think she’d be able to do it. she’d be too upset about the reminder incarnate of how she wasted her happy, full family years batting her mother’s helping hands away and insisting she could handle big girl things on her own.

18) What's one thing that instantly transports your muse back to their childhood? Why?

MAEVE — hearing a child being snapped at in a particular tone (most often by parents in the upper echelons of society) will, sadly, always send her back to being a little girl getting scolded by her mother. she can recognize later in life that she was being chastised for simply acting as an excitable child should, but falling back into those memories brings the shame of "disappointing" and "embarrassing" her mother back to the surface. 

MEREDITH — sometimes chatting with Delilah brings her back to their early teenage years, where they would trade gossip through whispers and giggle as they linked arms before gliding off to find a new source of information, or perhaps a private space to more openly discuss their findings. smth smth prime example of girlhood and she misses that innocent fun, wishes that it hadn't been taken by forces outside of her control. 

JORINA — counting her coin. whether it be checking what's on her person or what she'd been paid for recent scouting work, she'll sometimes flash back to the numerous nights she spent counting and recounting her limited household funds as if some extra money would magically appear and she'd be able to comfortably feed the family for the rest of the week.

[dinosaurtsukki]

haikyuu!! buzzfeed unsolved AU

OK THIS IS THE LAST BUZZFEED UNSOLVED RELATED HEADCANON SET I PROMISE 

[edit: check out the link at the bottom of the post for more buzzfeed unsolved au content :)]

hinata and kageyama:

90% of the show is them yelling and nobody watches it with earphones on

both of them believe in ghosts but that doesn't mean they want to see one

hinata will literally go to the bathroom five times before going to the spooky house and kageyama gets mad at him for it but there is Fear in his eyes

producer: 'were you scared?'

kageyama: 'pfft, no'

cameraman: *points camera down to show that kageyama's legs are shaking*

they also bring a shit ton of food with them when they stay the night at a place and they'll deadass be eating while talking about the history of the place

‘this house *crunch crunch* was built in *crunch crunch* 1972'

the producers tell them to stop bringing snacks but fans of the show love it

sometimes they'll shoot a mini mukbang video

SPICY, BARBECUE POTATO FRIES | Mukbang at the Waverly Hills Asylum'

hinata: *looking up how to do a seance on wikihow* it says we gotta offer some food for the spirit

kageyama: *spills the doritos he was eating on the table

*after 20 minutes*

kageyama: fuck this

hinata: *starts eating the doritos*

producer: ...

the ghosts: ..................the, audacity

tsukishima and yamaguchi

pretty much a ryan and shane duo right here

yamaguchi: we'll be visiting this place as part of our ongoing investigation on the question, are ghosts real?

tsukishima: *shakes head*

yamaguchi just wants to see the look of fear in tsukishima’s eyes at least once

yamaguchi: *hears a random thump sound* fUCk tSuKkI a gHoSt!!!

tsukishima: *sees a chair being tossed across the room* huh, the wind is pretty strong today

he likes to stick his head into attics to scare yamaguchi

yamaguchi always carries a water gun full of holy water

yamaguchi: i have holy water with me and i'm not afraid to use it! but i'm also sorry you had to die such a horrible death i hope you find peace soon

tsukishima: *walks into a basement that is supposedly a portal to hell* fuckin’ take me already

so many 'yamaguchi being an angel and tsukishima being a demon for 10 mins' video compilations 

daichi and sugawara

a very chaotic buzzfeed unsolved duo

suga, who is satan’s child himself, and daichi, who needs a raise

daichi: hello everyone! this is daichi,

sugawara: and suga

daichi: and you’re watching...

sugawara: jackass!!

daichi:...buzz...buzzfeed unsolved??

daichi started out being afraid of almost every place he had to walk into but after having to deal with the chaotic mess that is suga for an entire season, he no longer Feels Fear

this is because suga will deadass film a tiktok dance video no matter where he is

daichi: suga, someone was literally axe-murdered there

suga: *dancing along to ‘I’m a Savage’ or whatever that tiktok song is called*

daichi: *at cameraman* do you see what i have to deal with every day?’

suga is only genuinely scared by ghosts when his followers point out that a ghost was caught on camera in one of his tiktok videos

suga: *watching the video*

that was the end of suga’s tiktok career

tanaka and nishinoya:

another bunch of loud bois but they are much louder than kageyama and hinata

they’re very much into proving the existence of cryptids and are most known for that episode they spent hunting bigfoot by dressing up to look like bigfoot

tanaka: ‘you know that thing they do in cartoons where they stack on top of each other under a coat so they look like just one big guy?’

nishinoya: ‘ryuu i love you so fucking much’

other guy there who is also trying to catch bigfoot: oMg ItS bIgFooT *takes picture with the blurriest camera he could find*

both of them are very committed in their investigation of the supernatural and they’re very unconventional approaches

nishinoya: *lying on the ground in a creepy basement* EAT MY HEART DEMONS! WE’LL PUT THE VIDEO ON YOUTUBE!

tanaka: *takes out a spirit board* *spells out O-M-A-E  W-A  M-O  S-H-I-N-D-E-I-R-U*

ghost: *spells out N-A-N-I*

tanaka and nishinoya: *screaming*

kuroo and kenma: 

kuroo deadass flirts with any ghost or demon they encounter and kenma would sleep over in a haunted asylum for ten bucks

kuroo: *sidles up to the infamous annabelle doll* hey there little lady, what’s a pretty thing like you doing in a locked, glass case with a ‘don’t touch’ sign like this?

kenma: kuroo, there’s a demon inside her

kuroo: well, i’m a bit of a demon myself

kenma: she attempted to choke a guy in his sleep

kuroo: oooh, choking. i can get behind that...

kenma: *looks at camera*

the demon in annabelle: d-daddy??

“kuroo flirting with demons and kenma looking at the camera for 5 minutes”

kuroo’s actually a huge fucking scaredy cat and kenma secretly tries to push him over the edge

kenma: *plays computer-generated screams of the damned on his phone*

kuroo: WHAT WAS THAT?

kenma: ...I didn’t hear anything *looks at the camera as if he was on the office and plays the sound again*

kuroo: i was too scared to close my eyes last night

kenma: i was actually able to catch a bunch of pokemon last night. who knew the winchester mansion is such a hotspot

producer: did you catch any evidence of ghosts?

kenma: ...i caught a gastly

bokuto and akaashi:

bokuto is a die-hard mothman fan and akaashi is emotionally involved in proving that ghosts exist he will stop at nothing

akaashi: all of the evidence on the shadow figures and orbs spotted in this place can only suggest one thing...

bokuto: mothman did it

akaashi: no

bokuto: yes

akaashi: mothman is literally five states away

bokuto: he has wings

during their individual investigations, akaashi has already foreseen how bokuto is going to react

producer: it’s been quiet for a while. do you think bokuto’s no longer scared?

akaashi: oh no. he should be screaming right about now...

bokuto, inside the haunted house: *screams and waves his flashlight around*

akaashi:  and then he’s gonna call for help

bokuto: AKAAAAAASHIIIIIIIIII

*few hours later*

bokuto: i saw my life flash before my eyes in there

akaashi: *muttering incoherently near his ‘evidence wall’ full of blurry pictures and red string*

bokuto: i must’ve stared into the abyss at one point

akaashi: this place is fucking haunted. can i go back? it’s for sale right?

ushijima and tendou:

ushijima’s knowledge of ghosts is based on hollywood movies and tendou has exorcised places just by vibing

ushijima: *brings out a pottery wheel* if there are any ghosts in here, you know what to do

he’s actually never watched Ghost he just knows That One Scene

tendou: *naruto-running through the goatman bridge with a go-pro strapped to his head* IT’S MY BRIDGE GOATMAN, IT’S MY BRIDGE!!!

the Goatman Himself: i’ve never felt so fucking scared in my entire fucking life

ushijima believes that chanting in latin will Summon the Ghosts and tendou takes full advantage of that

tendou: *handing ushijima a slip of paper* here, apparently this will summon a full-bodied apparition

ushijima: thanks *begins chanting*

producer, interviewing tendou to the side: okay, what did you make him read this time?

tendou: i typed out ‘let me eat your ass’ in latin on google translate and went from there

cameraman: *zooms in on ushijima chanting*

the ghost haunting the castle: *is confused in French*

in the end neither of them get evidence on ghosts

ushijima: well, we'll have better luck next time

tendou: maybe even revisit this place ?

the ghosts: i know i'm dead but this is the first time i've been scared for my life

[EDIT: for more buzzfeed unsolved au content written by me, check out The Search for the Mysterious Mothman, a headcanon set feat. bokuaka]

[silviakundera]

Story of Yanxi Palace rewatch notes, ep 39-40

The cruel death of my perfect ot3 😭😭😭😭 truly too beautiful to be allowed to exist 😭😭

We get so many tender Yingluo and Empress moments, and everything seems so hopeful, then blam! blam! blam!

The grieving Empress still clutching her baby and with Yingluo gone it is the Emperor who has to do what no one can and reach her, let her rage and try to rest her back to the living world. Magnificant scene, as she finally lets loose at him, all of her greviances she's been holding inside. They do love each other, so much, but the imperial family politics don't care about true attachments and affection.

Really like the scenes where the Emperor has to supress his personal desires, his own despair, to govern and be a responsible monarch. The show consistently shows how bad at relationships he is, and how biased and reactionary he can be, but in the end he has his priorities in order when it comes to the big picture. The viewer and Yingluo will not always like him, but we reluctantly respect him.

Th Empress thinking of Yingluo in her final moments.

THAT SCENE when Yingluo returns to the palace and she and the Emperor just dig knives into each other in. I bet they barely even register the other people in the room. This is THEIR GRIEF, they are her 2 closest people, the people she kept in her heart. This is their resentment, their anguish. Their unreasoning sorrow. They both blame and hate her, a little, for leaving them like this. And in her absence they will inevitably turn this hate & blame onto each other.

It should be ludricrous that a servant and the freakin Emperor are arguing over the corpse of his wife, and he keeps responding to her -- that's the most shocking part and the most meaningful to me. He will not walk away while she hasn't had her say. You can see as he closes his eyes and takes her words in, as she brings him to tears - he wants to be blamed, he of course already blames himself. And she looks so freakin SAD as she says these things to him. Not vicious and smug, just profoundly sad that being part of the imperial family crushed the spirit of a woman that they both loved so much. And, I'd argue, profoundly sad to be saying these hurtful things to him. Like it hurts her to be hurting him like this, but she can't stop herself. Some of things she says, like accusing him of being heartless, I don't think she truly believes at all. She's striking out at him and at herself, stab stab stab. She's feeling, not thinking.

I'd argue that this is actually Yingluo being suicidal. She wants to die with the empress, as a sort of penance for leaving her unprotected. She knows the penalty for how she is behaving right now. And she wants it. She doesn't stop til she gets it. She's not rationale in this episode, she's completely emotionally overwhelmed.

With tear streaks on his face, the Emperor says, Grant her suicide and have her buried with Her Majesty. And Yingluo smiles so tenderly, so horribly. Looks so softly at the covered body, as if to say I'll be with you soon. He ignores all pleas and says he's doing this because she is the most favored. They're both like, RIGHT. RIGHT. SHE WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED THIS. TOO BAD SHE'S DEAD NOW SO SHE DOESN'T GET AN OPINION.

Such an enormous mess and still, and still!! in this scene you feel like sometimes no one in the world understands Yingluo and The Emperor as well as they understand each other.

And right now, the Emperor can't handle that. I think he ultimately sends her into palace exile not only to honor the intent of his wife's final wish, but to protect himself from that knowledge, those knowing eyes, that insightful judgment (Why didn't he actually give her FREEDOM? a. he's in repressed love w her, duh and b. he wants to punish her and himself for failing their empress and c. this is like safe, incredibly boring servant retirement)

allllso can u believe the empress left final words to the emperor all about their mutual gremlin servant gf? LMAO Not I'll love u for eternity, let's be married in the next life, but: I'm super concerned about Yingluo, palace life sucks, please take care of our girl for me xoxo

[zevexsii]

norton campbell  sfw + nsfw hcs (gn s/o)

holy shit i love norton campbell  

cut for length! 

norton’s a very complicated guy. he’s seen some shit, done some shit, and quite frankly hates most of the world around him. not because he actually thinks it’s bad- he just pushes away everything and everyone he cares about as a defense mechanism. 

he wouldn’t necessarily realize that he was developing feelings for his s/o right off the bat- he’d get closer and closer to them without actually thinking about the butterflies that your smile gave him or the protective urges that enveloped most of his critical thinking skills during matches. 

it really depends on how easily you open up to him. especially if you’re emotionally available early on. i doubt he would entirely open up to you about the mining incident, or even about the root of any of his problems, but if you were there on norton’s bad days to calm him down or let him vent, he’ll fall head over heels for you even quicker. 

not particularly talkative. norton doesn’t really know how to keep a conversation going and deflect too-personal questions at the same time, so most days he just enjoys sitting with you. 

right before The ConfessionTM, norton begins to isolate himself more than usual. he does his best to avoid you at mealtimes, will ditch matches that you’re both playing in, paying no mind to the consequences. it’s hard for him to even look at you without losing his composure- either spacing out and making heart eyes in your direction or having graphic thoughts of your death at his hands. it would be accidental, of course. he’d lash out and hurt you; make a mistake in a match and leave you bloody. 

if you seek him out, it might make it worse; he’ll probably snap at you, but he can’t hold up his apathetic front for long. he breaks down as you turn to leave, grabbing for your hand or your wrist. he hangs his head and asks you not to go in a low, hoarse whisper. he’s sniffling. 

this is the first time norton would seek out physical comfort from you. his movements are shaky and apprehensive as he tugs you closer to him- depending on where you managed to corner him, norton’ll ask to sit down and be held by way of burying his face in the crook of your neck. he’s terrified you’re going to pull away the entire time.

indulge him. gently card your fingers through his messy, dark hair or rub gentle circles onto his back and he might cry. poor guy’s repressed to hell and back. 

norton’s feelings for you are quite obvious at this point, but he needs to make sure to let you know, just in case. when he says that he’s in love with you, he’s breathless and the words are harried. if he’s able to look at you at all, his brown eyes are anxious and searching- begging for an answer, even if it’s one that would destroy him completely. he doesn’t really expect you to reciprocate his affections- he’s high maintenance at the very least in his own eyes. 

when you tell him that you love him too, norton is awestruck. he has to verify that he heard you correctly- tell him again and he lets out a watery chuckle proceeded by a shit-eating grin. 

hold onto him a little while longer. he needs it. 

now that norton’s confessed and you’re officially together, his behavior towards you in public doesn’t change too much- in lobbies before matches or mealtimes he lingers by you, keeping up a low conversation about mundane things. he’s unsurprisingly uninterested in pda, except for special occasions. 

in private, there are a lot of casual, domestic touches. norton’s inclined to come up and wrap his arms around you from behind, or rest a hand on the small of your back as you’re working away at a task. 

adores forehead/cheek kisses. the simple things make him soft beyond belief. deep, passionate kisses are usually reserved for when things are getting hot n’ heavy, plus they trigger norton’s claustrophobia very easily. norton normally despises any sort of attention drawn to his scars- they’re a massive insecurity of his, not to mention the horrible reminder of his past that they bring up, but if you give him small smooches on his upper cheek, or the border between scarred flesh and his normal tan, he’ll melt. 

can cook surprisingly well! norton’s been alone for the great majority of his life- not to mention he lived with a bunch of bachelors, so he knows the basics. however, anything you make will be devoured within seconds. really enjoys sweets!! uses excess frosting on your lips or cheek as an excuse to kiss you <33

is a pretty big eater!! norton’s a beefy guy and he tells you that he’s gotta keep himself strong in order to protect you <3 he’s also got a phat ass

norton’s a bit clueless when it comes to asking for cuddles; he’ll just sort of drape himself over you or mumble about being tired, hoping you’ll take the hint. on bad days, he doesn’t even want to get out of bed. everything’s just too much, he hopes you’ll understand. 

let norton rest his head in your lap or hide his face in your shoulder. sometimes it’s humiliating for him to let you see him like this- hold him close and gently play with his hair or intertwine your fingers in his. actions like that help ground norton. 

coo soft things in his ears. tell him you love him, that it isn’t his fault. that you’ll stay with him no matter what. these reassurances in particular help combat his overwhelming abandonment issues. 

on regular days, norton’s favorite cuddle positions are probably those that involve you laying your head on his broad chest, or him holding you from behind. 

very outdoorsy! go on walks with him and he’ll point out interesting rocks and the two of you will pocket geodes to take home and crack open. offer norton small things that you found on the way home, or gems that you pilfered from the golden cave map. it may not seem like a lot, but realizing that you care enough about norton to remember the small things that he enjoys makes him feel endlessly loved. 

i can’t stress enough how much norton appreciates domesticity. dude’s had a rough life, at this point he just wants to settle down in a stable place with someone who loves him, hopefully with a few kids, if his s/o is up for that!

nsfw 

norton is practically a connoisseur of intense, rough sex. as mentioned above, he’s got a lot of repressed shit to deal with and most of his more ‘vulnerable’ emotions are turned into anger. unhealthy coping mechanisms go brrrrr. 

needless to say, it’s best to use a safeword with norton. 

that’s not to say he doesn’t enjoy slow, passionate stuff- most days he’s perfectly happy to bury himself inside you however you need. 

during slow, soft sex, norton prefers to be ridden. it allows him to sit back and revel in the pleasure of being fucked by his lovely, lovely s/o. 

his fear of abandonment also comes into play during sex. he’ll get you begging for his cock, whimpering uncontrollably about how badly you need him inside of you. deep down, norton yearns to be needed by someone. 

not the most vocal partner, but lets loose a plethora of gasps and grunts once he’s got your tight hole stretched around him- most dirty talk consists of half-formed, growled curses that go straight south. 

always preps you with oral. he doesn’t care how ready you are for his dick, he needs to finish you off with his mouth first. norton’s definition of finishing you off consists of bruising and biting all over your hips and upper thighs before moving on to rub a calloused finger over your clit or give light strokes to your cock, paying special attention to the vein running along the underside. by the time he’s done, you’ll have cum at least twice and that’s if norton’s rushing it. 

unsurprisingly addicted to marking you. nothing riles norton up more than watching you interact with the other survivors while they frantically try to ignore the bruises and hickeys that have crawled up your neck and right under your jawline. if said survivor glances to norton afterward, he’ll toss a sleazy smirk in their direction. you’re fucking him and everyone knows it. 

not really a fan of missionary. norton’s partial to fucking you from behind and leaving small scratches and bruises from how tightly his massive hands grabbed your hips. 

he’s a thigh and an ass guy. ‘nuff said. he doesn’t have anything against boobs, though!

won’t introduce choking or restraining you- norton wants to revel in every little twitch and movement you make while he shoves himself between your thighs. of course if you ask for either of those things, norton will indulge you. choking would probably do well with his size kink. 

definitely has a breeding kink. all he wants is to completely fill you up with his seed- he’ll go as many rounds as he can, desperate to stuff you full of his cum. he’ll degrade you while he does this- calling you his little whore, going on and on about how desperate you are for his cum. 

a fair bit into overstimulation. it feeds norton’s sorely battered pride that no one else can see you like this- flushed and nearly in tears, letting out strangled mewls of pleasure while his cock slams against your prostate/g-spot. don’t even think about hiding your face in a pillow, either. the noises and expressions you make are part of how norton is assured he’s doing a good job- he also thinks you’re damn beautiful, all unraveled for him like this. 

as stated above, norton prefers to cum inside of you, but if you’re not up for that he’ll pull out and cum on your ass or in his hand. 

pulls your hair quite a bit- he’s pulled strands out in the past and apologizes like hell afterward. it’s not his intention to hurt you. 

aftercare!! soft. norton’ll offer to wash your hair and wash your back- his hands are strong and more often than not, he ends up massaging your shoulders. wash his hair and he’s in heaven. lots of mildly soapy forehead kisses and whispered “i love you”s as the two of you crawl into bed, your head tucked under norton’s. 

[katsidhe]

your meta is one i either completely agree with or can understand where you're coming from, so i would love to hear your thoughts on the more flawed aspects of sam's personality, bc i feel like fandom always somewhat misunderstands them and/or makes up flaws for him to fit their narrative. loved the recent chapter of aware, arise btw!! <3

Thank you!

Mmm, Sam and flaws. yeah, this area is rife with pitfalls. The big problem here, which makes fandom interpretation so wildly variable and often off-base, is that there are a lot of things that the show, or Dean’s POV, would like to categorize as Sam’s fundamental flaws that simply... aren’t. The big examples are hubris, rage, and disloyalty. 

But, I mean, since when does Sam have a rage problem? When he shoved John in s1? When he shot Jake, who actually, literally killed him? When he confesses in s5 that he is angry about the horrible circumstances of his life, the ways that he’s been manipulated and controlled and hurt both by people close to him and by powers beyond his control? Frankly, I would be more concerned if Sam weren’t angry, and in fact I get concerned about this very thing in s6+. Wrath is only a ~~flaw~~ if it’s consistently externalized in ways that hurt people. To say that there is a rage beast underneath Sam’s iron control, to hammer on this idea that this rage is oooh more scary because Sam’s generally in control of himself, rather disregards what actually makes anger issues... issues. 

Hubris, and disloyalty, well--that’s Dean’s perspective for sure. It’s Dean, rather than Sam, who struggles with being too controlling, and with over-dictating the course of their lives. Sam’s actions in even s4 aren’t particularly based in an overwhelming hubris, but rather in a grim, goal-oriented tunnel vision. There’s a sense less of grandiosity, more of sick determination. 

Okay, so what about actual flaws?

So, like, the thing with Sam and Dean is, well, they’re serial killers for a living. And there is a certain amount of hideous moral compromise that has to be wrapped up in that career, in knowing that you intentionally kill sapient beings all the time, and moreover that at least some of those beings are innocent, or at least don’t strictly deserve death. And all that’s without tallying up the collateral. 

Dean overcomes this hurdle by identifying himself strongly with the righteousness of his motivations, deeply woven into his identity. His own subjective perspective is privileged above those he kills because he, personally, embodies and must always embody a hero. Consequently, his moral struggles are all about placing his own needs and his own (emotionally informed) perspective above that of other people, even, and in some cases especially, if it still causes him personal anguish. He kills Cyrus and narrowly avoids killing Jack not because he hates them, but because he places a higher premium on his conviction that they’re Destined For Evil than on any other potential for mitigating factors.  

Sam does not engage with his personal subjectivity like that. When Sam does something morally objectionable, it tends to be because he’s doing the opposite, which is to totally outsource his moral conflict based on the extremity of the goal he is pursuing or based on his reluctance to trust his own judgment. Sam has the ability to write off harm to himself when he thinks it’s necessary, which, okay; but this also means he can and will write off harm to others too. Sam can rationalize and rationalize and rationalize.

It’s far easier for him to see the big picture than Dean, and thus easier for him to excuse wrongs on the basis of the greater good. Sam’s tolerance for both personal and collateral costs rise exponentially when he thinks there’s a clear end clause in sight--eg the Apocalypse in s4-5, the trials in s8, the Mark in s10, cooperation with the BMoL in s12, saving Mary in s13, even getting to Michael in s14. There’s a certain pragmatic ruthlessness in Sam that’s really, really visible when he’s soulless. 

And sometimes it serves him well! It sometimes means that Sam finds it a lot easier than Dean to engage in the moral grays of sparing individuals on a case by case basis, because his identity is less wrapped up in black-and-white heroism. Though often, Sam’s moral triumphs come when he over-identifies with monsters, such that he’s able to inject and rely on his own subjectivity. And, look, Sam’s goals are, for not an insignificant portion of the show, to prevent the actual literal end of the world, which makes quite a lot of collateral relatively justifiable. But in the end, Sam’s world is just as insular and claustrophobic as Dean’s, with that same inevitably skewed sense of scale, in terms of putting his goals before other people. Sometimes, eg in s13, those goals shift from “prevent the end of the actual world” to “save my family” and that is something that it’s a lot less morally permissible to kill for. 

This flaw is connected to another of Sam’s big problems: he’s altogether too willing to excuse, enable, and even participate in the patterns of harm that others, mostly Dean, engage in, especially in late seasons. Sam has developed a tendency to overcorrect against the involvement of his own perspective. Dean may have spearheaded the plan to trap and later kill Jack in 14.19-14.20, but Sam tricked him into the box, and that is a failing. Sam has adapted to survive, but he tends to externalize and project his own adaptations onto other people as well, even when they aren’t in his situation or don’t want to be: Jack, AU!Charlie, Gabriel, Kevin to some extent. 

It’s a fascinating kind of thing, in which Sam’s tiny, tiny world is thrust against his tendency and even his need for big picture goals and idealizations. It leads to sometimes uncomfortable generalizations and moral justifications.

[artzychic27]

I have a Teen Titans AU. In it, Nath is Robin, Rose is Starfire, Kim is Beast Boy, Max is Cyborg, and Juleka is Raven. Got any headcanons?

Nathaniel The Boy Wonder

Sidekick to the greatest detective duo ever known... Beetle Woman and Catman

Prior to that, he was raised by a famous artist duo and inherited their skills

During an unveiling for a mural his parents painted, a gangster attacked the event and killed both of his parents

Beetle Woman and Catman investigated the crime, and as their alter egos, billionaires Marinette Dupain-Cheng-Agreste and Adrien Agreste, adopted Nathaniel, brought the mobster to justice, and made him their sidekick

He’s trained in several forms of martial arts, intimidation, acrobatics, and he’s an amazing detective

People call him Illustrator because he uses spray paints in his fights

Wears a hood since his red hair gives him away sometimes. His costume is similar to Robin’s but with a purple, black, and white color scheme

Always spray paints his signature on villains’ clothes whenever he’s done beating them up

There was one villain he could never catch and beats himself up for it every time. His name is Reverser. He’s a powerful sorcerer who can reverse anyone’s personality and bring heroes over to his side

Illustrator doesn’t know how how he does it. One minute, he’s fighting Reverser, the next, he blacks out and wakes up with black and white lipstick all over his face and neck. It’s so weird

And Beetle Woman, Catman, the servants, Tikki and Plagg, are always giggling and whispering whenever he talks about Reverser

One day when the detective duo decided he was old enough, Nathaniel was able to start his own team of heroes to protect a neighboring city

After a run-in with a blonde alien, a short cyborg, a jock who could turn into any animal on earth, and a goth witch, he persuaded them into forming a superhero group called the Teen Titans

Rose The Alien Princess

The alien princess from the distant planet of Fragrencia

Her powers are similar to Starfire’s, only the beams are a bright pink and she can control villains by shooting a pink mist from her hands

She has two siblings- A younger brother named Clover, and an evil older sister named Ivy

Clover was sent away in an escape pod after an attack on Fragrencia. Rose was crushed, but Ivy was thrilled

Ivy sold her into slavery to another alían race in order to bring peace to their war-torn planet. (Really it was just to get rid of her)

She landed on earth after using her superhuman strength to escape from an alien ship

While attempting to remove the handcuffs, she ended up destroying parts of the town and eventually ran into four teenagers whom she would soon fight crime with

The mysterious goth girl wearing the cloak was the one who talked her down and removed her handcuffs... Right before Rose kissed her so she could communicate with her

Rose is the most emotional of the team since her powers are strengthened by her emotions

She has a huge crush on Juleka but is a little intimidated by her to act on her feelings

It isn’t rare to see the two girls meditating together or sleeping in the same room in the same bed

Her favorite of Kim’s animal forms is a kitten and she can never resist his dough eyes

Kim The Animal Morpher

Superhero name: “Teen Beast”

A former member of the Xuppu Squad

He was raised by his geneticist parents and was always traveling the world with them. But he was never really interested in the stuff; he wanted to be a swimmer

One day, while they were exploring a jungle, young Kim was bitten by a rare green monkey and caught a serious illness

To save him, his parents gave him a serum with odd side effects- His skin, hair, and eyes turned different shades of red

After a boating accident his parents died after falling over a waterfall, but thanks to his swim training, he was able to make it out

Later, he sought out a superhero team called the Xuppu Squad and became their youngest member

Feeling alienated due to one of the more harsher members, he left and found himself in a new town

There, he met four other teens and assisted them in liberating an alien Princess

He’s become close friends with Max and often assists him with his projects

The others often tease him about it, but he doesn’t know why

Soon, he fell in love with Chloé Bourgeois, the former princess of Markovia who had the bower to render people immobile

He falls out of love with her after he betrayed him and his team by joining Hawkmoth, and he soon realizes that he has feelings for Max after he risks his own life to save him

His two favorite forms are the monkey and miniature horse. As a monkey, he’s able to pick things up with his feet, and because a horse is Max’s favorite animal

Max The Cyborg

Max Kanté was at the top of his class, had a bright future ahead of him and several academic scholarships... Until the accident

He was on a train that his mother was conducting when there was a crash that kill her and horribly injured him

The injury was so awful that his father replaced 99% of his body with cybernetics to keep him alive. This caused him to be shunned by everyone in his life, so he ran away

One night, he went for a walk out in a hoodie when he ran into a group of teenagers fighting a rather violent alien princess

He teamed up with them to fight the princess’ captors and together, they formed a team to battle villainy

He constructed their base of operations and its systems from a landing ship from the aliens sent to take Rose

He serves as the chief technician and constructs all of their gadgets and vehicles... With some help from a certain muscular boy

He has a... Slight, tiny, barely even noticeable crush on Kim and was heartbroken to find out he liked Chloé.

Max is a little self-conscious about being 99% cyborg, so Kim will often comfort him when he’s having one of “Those days”

After saving Kim’s life when Chloé betrayed them and almost risking his own, the two started dating

Juleka The Half Demon

Daughter of Anarka, Juleka was chosen to be the daughter of the demon known as Jagged, and succeed him with her new brother, Luka

Anarka was soon taken in by the pacifistic disciples of the Temple of Reflekta, a group from another plane of existence who forsaked life on Earth

In their world, Anarka gave birth to Juleka, who, like Jagged and Luka was born with the ends of her hair a different color

Fearing she would bring about evil, a magistrate tried to cast her into limbo, only to be destroyed himself

A spiritual leader named Roaar took Juleka under her wing and taught her how to submerge her emotions to ward off her father and brothers’ influences while perfecting her powers

After her teacher’s death, she had a dream where Jagged died and Luka took his place.

He explained that when she reached the age of sixteen, he would come for her and make her his ally so they could destroy the earth together as brother and sister

(He’s also really overprotective of her and went ballistic when she started fighting villains)

Fearing this, Juleka fled to earth where she ran into three teenagers fighting off a rather cute alien princess

Seeing her reason for rampaging, Juleka was able to remove her handcuffs without any trouble, and nearly died on the spot when she princess kissed her

Despite her insecurities, the other invited her to join their new superhero group

Juleka is terrified her own emotions, worried that if she feels something so strongly, that she’ll end up like her brother

As much as it pains her to do so, she distances herself away from Rose emotionally

Eventually, she’s able to express her love for Rose, just at a more muted level, and the two soon start dating

Her powers include teleportation, flight, astral projection, and she can make clones of herself

[decepti-thots]

From We Try to Get Out But We Just Keep Sticking Around for the commentary meme: 'The fourth time, circumstances got in the way, and it was a very long time indeed before he saw Chromedome after Rewind’s passing.

It didn’t really matter what he said, Prowl understood now. Chromedome was capable of self-delusion to a degree that Prowl sometimes envied. Keeping up the farce required no effort on anyone else’s part, as Chromedome was perfectly capable of doing it for himself.

"It's never nice to lose something, is it," he said. "Or someone."

It had been a while since anything Chromedome did had shocked him. The novelty of it almost outweighed the hurt of the long fall.'

[The fic (NSFW)]

So this scene, cribbed from that one bit in Dark Cybertron between these two, was the whole inspiration for this fic conceptually. I've always been fascinated by what the hell Prowl thought he was doing, needling (hah) at Chromedome like that, and I had the idea of 'wait, Prowl must have been aware Chromedome has been married before and they died and he erased them, what if he just... thought Chromedome would do that after Rewind's death too?' and it percolated for months until I finally wrote this fic.

So for this fic, I basically recontextualised that scene as it being not just Prowl being a petty little shit (though he definitely is still that), but it's also him a little at the end of his rope after bearing the splashback of Chromedome's terrible decisions for the past few million years. The first time Chromedome did this, Prowl was careful trying to navigate around the gaps; but by this point he just thinks, well, why bother. If Chromedome makes this choice over and over and over... Prowl is basically like. "There is no way Chromedome doesn't suspect he's been rewriting his own memories. There is no way he is that dense. He must just be choosing to believe things are normal." So now, when he assumes Chromedome has long since erased Rewind, he doesn't care about helping to maintain the lie or avoid mentioning him, and he lets himself make the nasty spiteful dig out loud. Unfortunately, of course, this time Chromedome hadn't done so, and off the cliff Prowl goes, hah.

Regarding the last line, I think Prowl is very, very invested emotionally in the idea that he understands Chromedome better than anyone else, and in ways that nobody else ever could. It's an important part of how he conceptualises their relationship to each other. They lost every bit of affection and warmth they ever held for each other, they lost every ounce of closeness and love, but Prowl still understands Chromedome, so he can live with it. Except what he won't acknowledge in this fic is that maintaining a pseudo-relationship on the basis of predictability when what you can predict is just... for there to always be another toxic thing that rots you both away a little coming sooner or later. I mean. That's not good. For either of them. It's a little bit a relief for his expectations to finally be upended, even if it's just another kind of toxicity that comes out.

I think the worst part of how toxic this whole situation is for both of them is how there's no outlet for either of them to get mad about it. Chromedome doesn't even fully understand what's going on, he literally can't understand. And Prowl can't properly blame Chromedome as a result of that same fact. They're both just trapped in this horrible loop where they're both acting sort of terribly and hurting both each other and themselves but can't escape it.

I'm not sure if I think they ever have it out fully after this. I'm kind of inclined to say 'no'. But I sort of want them to. I think the single best thing for them would be to get all the bile out, have a proper fight where it all comes out, and finally put it completely to rest and cut ties completely at long, long last. Which... man, when that's your ideal 'happy' ending, you KNOW you have a mess on your hands, lmao.