#I love them so much tho and I want the best for them

[iloveazzifudd35]

only like myself when I’m with you.

guys I made the executive decision to try and write a pazzi fic in one sitting and I literally almost just died I don’t know how you all do it but here we go

5.2k words 😭 like i literally feel dead.

Let me know how i did tho this is my first one and please give me feedback. Also I edited as I go and got a lil tired by the end

theme: friends to lovers

tw: smut at the end. Most of the story isn’t so if u don’t like it stop when u get to to the French fries being eaten it gets freaky 😛

2021

Paige walked into Ted’s, hair damp from her shower after a tough loss to notre dame. 

She was frustrated with herself for how she played. She knew she should have put more shots up, regardless of her teammates consistent reassurance that she did everything she could, it wasn’t enough for her. 

With Azzi hurt, she felt like there was a part of her that was missing on the court, and she didn’t feel herself. With no Azzi, there were no light taps on her back that sent shivers down her spine when she made her free throws, none of the gentle soft spoken whisper she would hear during the huddles. Her mistakes felt bigger. With Azzi hurt she felt a responsibility to take on her role in the court. If Azzi couldn’t play she felt like she needed to fill that gap, that role, and today she let her down. 

As she walked through the doors she heard KK’s booming voice even before she saw them. 

Paige unzipped her drawstring hoodie letting it fall off her shoulder revealing her black crop top under neath. She smoothly made her way over to the table, stopping to order a dirty Shirley from the bar and 2 shots of tequila. 

“Paige!!” A voice yelled out coming from the table. Turning around from the bar with her tray of drinks she walked back towards her teammates. 

“Where’s Azzi?” Paige asked, scanning the group noticing a hole where her curly haired best friend was.  

“I think she was with the trainer after the game, she will probably be bye later.” Ice said, schooching over so Paige can squeeze in between her and Kk. Paige let out a sigh taking both the shots instead of leaving it for Azzi like she intended.

As much as she hated herself for it, but she needed to hear Azzi’s voice, to hear her tell her she didn’t play bad, that she was okay. Most of all she needed to tell Azzi how much she loved her, and how much she missed seeing her dimpled grin when she sunk a three, or seeing her cheer when paige scored off her. She felt like a burden, Azzi was out hurt with a knee sprain after just 3 games her freshman season, and would give anything to just touch the court again, while Paige needed her to tell her how she played.

Since they were on the USA team 4 years prior, they had an unmistakable bond. Defining the lines between friendship and something more was always a challenge for them. 

Their title remained “Best-friends” to everyone else, teammates, coaches, family, fans, but both girls could tell the feelings ran deeper than they both realized. Touches lingering, snuggling up against each other. Paige even spending an entire month with her family where they kissed for the first time. Since then they continue to kiss each other, to touch each other- which they had convinced themselves was completely normal for best friends to do. 

“She’s like my sister” Paige would tell slam magazine, along with herself, trying to assess what these unknown feelings were. 

Friends that occasionally crossed the line was normal for their relationship, they were just a little closer than others that’s all. As much as she convinced herself of this, the sleepovers she would have with Azzi where they would share a kiss and cuddle up against each other, the tension in the air was thick. 

Paige wanted nothing more than to stick her tongue down Azzi’s throat and kiss her until they couldn’t breathe. She wanted to go all the way. She wanted to make Azzi feel good in anyway she could, and craved Azzi’s touch more than anything, but fear stoped her. 

As much as she knew Azzi loved her, and vice versa, there was no way of knowing how far she could take it. She has herself convinced she was straight. Her feelings for Azzi were simply platonic, which made no sense seeing as she wanted to literally f***. 

But it was fine. She ignored the feelings. Her and Azzi were best friends, who yes kissed sometimes, but it was nothing more than that, she was almost positive that there were other friends that did that too. 

——————

Azzi on the other hand felt just as conflicted. The kisses she shared with Paige in the safety of her room were the most seen she had ever felt. When she was with Paige she felt as though she was unstoppable. Nothing was wrong when she was with Paige, no injury mattered, no person, no coach, no team, no game. Her nights with Paige moved in slow motion, snuggled up against her skin she could hear her heart beating against her. 

Azzi sometimes would push the limits, backing up into paige as they lay in bed together, hearing the shift in her breathing and the way her hands stiffened scared to touch her as if she was made of glass.

Azzi wanted nothing more than to lay with paige forever, to make her feel like the most special girl in the world. 

Azzi knew the pressures of basketball better than anyone, she knew how much Paige put on her self, the weight of the entire team, especially now that she was injured. She hated that Paige would blame herself for losses, she wanted nothing more than to wrap her up and kiss every worry and doubt away from her, but they were just friends- best friends- who occasionally crossed the line.

——

Paige pulled out her phone and pulled up Azzi’s contact checking her location. With the trainer as Ice said. 

Paige wasn’t surprised. Azzi never gave up, if Azzi could spend every minute of the day in that rehab facility with the trainer she would if it meant she would be closer to playing again. It was one of the things Paige loved and hated about her. She knew she would need a break, but also knew Azzi was too stubborn to accept that until she was cleared by the doctor. 

Paige put her phone back down trying to distract herself from the Azzi sized hole in her heart. She felt the tequila pumping through her blood, the music pounded in her head. Taking a sip of her Dirty Shirley she stood up with Kk and chose to sing (and absolutely butcher) some Sexyy Red. 

An hour, 15 songs, 8 maraschino cherries, 3 shots, and 2 dirty Shirley’s later, Paige shakily made her way back to her seat feeling the effects of the alcohol in effect. She picked up her phone unable to hold back any longer

 Me: AZZZZIIIII WYA👀👀👀

💗: I’m still with the trainer.

        She had me use the cold tub for my knee,        she said it would help with loosening the ligament. 

         Why?

Me: OMF HATE THE COLD TUB 

       miss u thats y

💗: I know it’s awful, but it’s good for u 💗

        I miss u too paige, I’m almost done I have 20 minutes left, 

       where are u?

me: teds 😛

💗: why r u at teds? It’s literally 4 o’clock…

me: u saw the game, and we have tomorrow off. 

Plus the whole team is here I’m not by myself. 

Might as well be since ur not here tho

💗: paige u played well, it was a tough game don’t be so hard on urself. 

Me: idec anymore, I can’t change what happened… but u can by coming and making me feel better 😼

💗: ur already drunk and it’s 4 o’clock paige omfg

Me: I’m not even drunk I just wanna be with u 

💗: do I need to text ice and ask what u have had?

—- 

Paige looks up from her phone and glances at ice and kk singing to drake

—-

Me: I don’t think u will get the response u are looking for 😁 

💗: ugh paige, fine I’m coming to get u 

Don’t drink anything else ur gonna be so sick tomorrow 

Me: YES AZZI COME PLEASE 😫😫😫

actually make me come instead 

💗: I’m not responding to that💗

——

Putting down her phone Azzi got out of the tub. 

As much as she didn’t want to admit, reading paige’s texts she wanted nothing more than to do just that and touch her until she screamed. But right now paige wasn’t thinking straight- literally. 

Her only goal was to get to paige before she literally tried to come find Azzi on her own, which she had tried before.

—-

Paige on the other hand was very satisfied with herself for convincing Azzi to come, unfortunately not in the way she really wanted, but she would settle for this way. 

Azzi’s message ringing in her ear vanished the second she saw the waiter bring out another dirty Shirley

“One more drink won’t do anything now, I’m already drunk.” She thought to herself allowing herself to indulge on the fruity beverage. 

5 minutes later she was sucking up nothing but air through the straw. She sighed defeatedly, making her way over to Aubrey to see what she was drinking.

“I miss Azzi” paige slurred reaching for Aubrey’s sex on the beach. 

“I can tell” Aubrey chuckled pulling her arm away, but paige was destined to have some more. 

“She’s so pretty, don’t u think. It doesnt make any sense. I feel like she was literally a gift from god himself. No one deserves her.” Paige continued finally grasping onto the drink as a big tear rolled down her face.

Aubrey looked at her disheveled state and sighed. 

“Aw paige, don’t cry, Azzi is pretty, and I think she will find someone really nice that will make her really happy some day! I think there is that kid in her accounting class that has a thing for her why don’t u try and set them up?” 

“FUCK NO, Azzi is mine…” paige pauses sniffing in, “I want her, I love her, but what if I’m not enough for her. I want her to be happy she deserves to be with like a god or something idk… “ she trails off rubbing her eyes as tears dripped onto her lap. 

Aubrey rubs her back awkwardly, not really knowing exactly what to say, 

“Paige, azzi loves you more than anything in this world honestly. You see the way she looks at you? Like trust me ur not alone on that. Azzi would be lucky to have you!” 

And just like that paige perks up, maybe it was the drinks, or the extra vote of confidence, or even just the mention of Azzi looking at her, she felt better. 

Paige leans into Aubrey’s embrace and mumbles quietly. 

“Paige what? Speak up I can’t hear u” 

“I BEEN LOOSING FRIENDS AND FINDING PEACE BUT HONESTLY THAT SOUND LIKE A FAIR TRADE TO ME” she shouts singing along to the song in the background. 

Aubrey just shakes her head laughing and mutters something about feeling bad for Azzi and watches as paige bounds back over to Kk and Ice. 

Paige is downing two more shots when suddenly she hears her favorite laugh in the world.

She spins around so fast she knocks over KK’s drink 

“Ugh, Girl boo” Kk shouts disgustedly shaking her head as paige races towards Azzi, stumbling, and getting knocked over by someone she ran into. 

Getting herself back up, without even stopping, she continues to charge towards azzi, throwing herself at her. 

“YOU CAME” she shouts 

Azzi can smell the alcohol mixing with the lavender shampoo she used. 

“Paige oh my fucking god ur actually hammered!” She says hugging paige back and holding her up for support. 

“I feel totally fine Azzi” she slurs, but her body language says other wise as she feels her hands exploring Azzi’s body as she leans into her 

“ I want you so bad” she whispers into her ear 

Azzi shivers at her warm breath hot against her ear. She feels her cheeks redden…

“Paige you’re so drunk, come on you are cut off, let’s get you back home.” Azzi giggles while dragging her towards the door. 

Paige didn’t argue, she just let Azzi pull her to the door. She didn’t care where she was as long as she was with Azzi. 

Once they got to the car, Azzi glanced at her, Paige had a huge cheesy grin plastered on her face, but Azzi saw through it. The second the last bit of alcohol was out of her system, Azzi would be there to pick up the pieces and hold her while she continued to go over every second of the game an micro analyze every mistake she made. 

Regardles, Azzi felt a small tug at the side of her mouth seeing paige this pure, even if it was because of the alcohol, knowing that her presence contributed to any of it was enough to fill her heart. 

Azzi opened the door for her and stuffed her long limbs in before shutting the door. 

As they drove Azzi could feel paige’s eyes on her. She would turn to look at her back and paige would immediately blush and giggle to herself. 

Azzi laughed at her antics. Paige was acting as if she was in middle schoool, and Azzi couldn’t hide that she secretly liked all the innocent attention paige was showing her.

As they pulled up to paige’s dorms, Azzi lugged paige out of the car and brought her towards the door bringing her all the way up to her room all while paige babbled incessantly about random things. 

Once they made there way to her room, Azzi sat her on the bed, but paige pulled her down on top of her.

Azzi tried to regain her balance but even drunk paige’s grip was firm on her arm. To be honest Azzi could have pushed her off if she really wanted to but a part of her enjoyed being on top of her…

They stayed there a second in silence.

Azzi’s beautiful face was enough to immediately sober Paige up. 

“Have I ever told you how beautiful u are.” She slurred, releasing her grip off of Azzi’s arm and tracing her finger over her features slowly. 

“You don’t have to Paige.” Azzi giggled at paige’s finger softly tracing over her face, outlining every freckle and crease in her skin. 

“I want to tell you though” Paige pouts. “ I want to tell you every day. I wanna touch you like this every day.” She said proudly as she moved her arms pressing Azzi into a hug on top of her. 

Azzi smiled warmly, but knew that paige was only saying this because she was drunk, whether she meant it or not, she was drunk. 

Azzi sighed against her chest, ultimately wanting to lay there forever. 

“You need to sleep this off, I’m gonna get you some water and advil ur gonna have the worst hangover of all time tomorrow.” Azzi remarked pushing herself off of Paige before she could grab her again. 

Paige reached out her hands squeezing her fists together and releasing repeatedly like a child. 

“ I want you to snuggle with me.” She pouts. 

Azzi laughs at her childlike behavior. 

“Paige baby you need to change first then I will come snuggle with you.” 

Paige looked lazily up at her widening her big blue eyes pulling at Azzi’s shirt to sit herself up. 

“I need help. Do it for me” she whispers leaning into Azzi still gripping her shirt.

Azzi gulps and feels her breath shift. Paige and her had changed infront of each other before but Azzi always made it a point to look away to give her privacy, but lately she has been realizing it was more for herself then for paige. If she looked at her once she may never stop. 

The way paige was willingly giving herself to her so easily putting her arms over her head hinting for Azzi to take off her shirt, she remained eye contact with Azzi the entire time. 

She watched as Azzi looked at her body. She watched the pink cover her cheeks as she pulled off her shirt. She noticed the way she avoided looking at her skin directly. 

Azzi, out of respect, attempted to slide her shirt onto her without really looking.

“Uhm Azzi, you can look at me you know.” 

Paige said teasingly smirking noticing Azzi’s face grow redder matching the team USA t-shirt she slid onto her.

Azzi attempted to laugh it off, quickly pulling off her shorts and pulling on a pair of green pj pants, but the tension hovered. 

Paige pulled at her curls while Azzi fiddled with the draw of her pants trying to fix the tie that mysteriously got all tangled. 

“If you wanted to take off my clothes you could have just asked…” paige trailed off smiling leaning in to smell Azzi’s hair.

Paige loved the way Azzi smelled, she always had, and always will. She could smell her coconut curl cream all the way to her vanilla shampoo. 

Azzi’s smile deepened as paige ran her fingers through her hair. 

“I promise I will be right back Paigey, I am gonna grab you some stuff and get you your tooth brush.” Azzi says walking towards the door before Paige has the chance to pull her back again. 

“Pinky promise?” Paige whines.

“Yes I pinky promise Paige, I will be right back I swear.” Azzi replied finally leaving the blonde.

Azzi feels content, although Paige was drunk, she knew there was some level of truth to what she confessed to her. 

The only doubt that crossed her mind was that Paige would not remember what she said tomorrow. 

She tried to shrug off the doubt, paige’s future hangover was her main priority at the moment. 

She had seen Paige drunk before but never like this, she had always been there to moderate her, but this time she hadn’t. 

“Literally what would she do without me.” Azzi sighed with a smile. 

After grabbing a water bottle, Gatorade, some Advil, and searching the entire apartment for snacks (ending up with half a bag of tru fru- thanks Kk), she walked back into the room slowly. 

Peaking through the door Azzi saw Paige passed out on the bed her mouth slightly open. 

Azzi had to stifle her own laugh as a string of drool trickled out of her open mouth. 

Azzi grabbed her phone snapping a picture laughing to herself, before laying the supplies beside her and climbing into bed gently in hopes to not wake her. 

Azzi wrapped her arms around paige and paige subconsciously snuggled up closer to her letting out a happy sigh. 

Azzi couldn’t lie, there was no place she would rather be, she wished the circumstances were a bit different, but she had never been happier to be with Paige in bed. They had spent numerous nights together having little sleepovers, but to feel needed is to be loved, and that’s exactly how Azzi felt. 

Paige has never felt more cared for by another person, than she did with Azzi. 

Even though it was still early in the evening, like between 6 and 7 o’clock Azzi didn’t care. Paige needed her, so with Paige she would be. 

Honestly if Azzi had a choice she would go to bed early every night if she could if it meant getting to be this close to Paige. 

Paige on the other hand didn’t get much rest, waking up at 11 to run to the bathroom and throw up. 

Azzi feeling the emptiness next to her immediately got up grabbed a blanket off of Paige’s bean bag chair and the water off her nightstand, following her into the bathroom and placed the blanket on her lap holding her hair back.

“I’m never drinking again.” Paige croaked leaning her forehead against Azzi’s shoulder. 

“It’s okay Paigey, I’m here.” Azzi said soothingly rubbing her hand against her back. 

Paige turned to look at her, eyes glazed, some of the alcohol still running through her veins. 

“I love you so much Azzi.” She whispered. 

“I love you too Pai-“ Paige cut her off before she could finish putting her finger to her lip. 

“No I don’t just love you like before. I love you like I wanna be with you forever and ever. I love you because you would hang the moon for me.” Paige says softly. 

Azzi is surprised by this, she doesn’t exactly know what to say. Paige still is surely drunk, but she doesn’t know just how drunk seeing as she has thrown up a lot of what she drank. 

Before she had to chance to say anything, Paige ends up throwing up again, breaking the loud silence. 

After another 20 minutes of sitting there, Paige’s body leaned up against Azzi, Paige falls back to sleep. 

Azzi, feeling the limpness of her body, carries her to her bedroom and plops her back into the bed, tucking the sheets tightly around her before climbing in with her. 

The next time they wake up fortunately it is morning. Paige is still asleep, so Azzi decides to go look for some sort of hangover food to give Paige when she wakes up. 

After looking in almost every cabinet there was literally nothing. Azzi resorted to running and jumping into her car to grab her some fries from McDonald’s. 

Almost 10 minutes later, Paige started reaching behind her noticing the empty space behind her on the bed. Paige darts up immediately regretting it feeling the blood rush to her throbbing head. 

She struggles to find her phone in the covers. When all of a sudden she hears the door unlock, and her nose picks up on the salty smell of the fries, her mouth immediately watering, and in walks Azzi. 

Her heart fills, tugging Azzi towards her a few fries flying into the air. 

“I thought I scared you away with what I said yesterday, or this morning, I don’t even know…” Paige trails off muffled into her chest. 

“You remembered?” Azzi says extending her arms so she can look at her. 

“Uhm ya I wasn’t even that drunk.” Paige says putting her hands up. 

Azzi raises her eyebrow. 

“You were pretty drunk.” 

“Okay well whatever that’s beside the point, I meant every word I said. I love you. I always have loved you. I can’t imagine my life without you. You take care of me, you love me, why can’t we just be together. I don’t wanna just kiss you. I wanna do so much more. I wanna love every inch of you, I wanna do everything with you, have a family maybe, get a house, I don’t know, and I don’t care as long as you are in it.” Paige says gasping for air as she trials on until Azzi cuts her off. 

“I love you too Paige. I just didn’t know how to tell you she says, tears forming in her eyes at Paige’s words. 

“You didn’t have to say anything I could tell. You make me feel like nothing else matters.” Paige sniffled back tears of her own placing her hands on Azzi’s face. 

“I wanna spend the rest of my life with you too. I love you so much Paige, and I always will.” 

Azzi says grabbing the bag of fries and holding it up. 

“You were so hung over late last night already I thought you might need some hangover food… I also thought I could make it back before you got up but I guess I was wrong, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Azzi says opening the bag and grabbing a fry and shoving it into Paiges mouth stopping her from talking. 

“Ketchup?” Paige asks mouth full. 

“Wow, no faith in me huh?” Azzi says pulling out two packets of ketchup and squirting it into another fry watching Paige open her mouth again expecting Azzi to feed her again. 

She complies sticking the fry into her mouth with a laugh. A little bit of ketchup fell onto Azzi’s finger. Before she notices, paige sticks out her tongue and sucks on her finger. Her cheeks hollowing as she bobs up and down on her finger teasingly. 

Azzi’s breath shifts with the tension in the room growing thick. 

“You wanna take off my clothes again?” Paige smirks looking at Azzi’s finger covered in her saliva. Without saying anything they connect their lips. Azzi pushes Paige back against the sheets leaning over her pinning her arms above her head. Paige just smirks watching as Azzi takes off her sweatshirt revealing her beautiful breasts underneath. Paige strains under Azzi’s restraint wanting nothing more than to wrap her lips around her chocolate nipples, but Azzi only tightens her grip.

“You let me get you right first, then maybe I’ll let you touch.” Azzi says pressing her lips against her neck tracking kisses all along her jaw and trailing down her stomach. When she gets to her waist she sucks and leaves three hickeys along her waist band. 

“All mine.” She says softly almost a whisper, making Paige whimper against her touch. Her hips subconsciously thrusting towards her desperately needing to be touched. 

Azzi wraps her fingers lips around her sweatpants and pulls them down along with her panties. 

“You have definitely been this wet since last night when I took your clothes off the first time huh.” Azzi said confidently stroking her inner thigh observing the way her legs twitched for her. 

Paige let out a shaken breath, raising her pussy towards Azzi’s mouth craving her fingers, her mouth, literally anything. 

Azzi instead reaches over to the bag of French fries and eats one.

“No way you are eating a fry when my pussy is literally in your face.” Paige whines frustrated, attempting to close her legs to squeeze or get some form of closure from the throbbing at her  clit. 

Azzi lowers herself at that, leveling herself with her aching pussy. 

“Tell me how bad you want me.” Azzi says dominantly leaning over Paige again and running her fingers closer and closer to where she wants her most. 

“So bad, please anything. Azzi please, need you.” Paige whines attempting to release her hands but is abruptly stoped by the overpowering sensation of Azzi’s tongue against her clit. 

Azzi starts by pressing soft kitten licks at her clit, releasing paige’s hands from her grip so she can use her other hand to separate her folds. 

“Such a good girl for me huh.” Azzi whispers into her pussy as Paige lets out a loud moan. 

Azzi licks her tongue all the way from her entrance back up to her clit, continuing to tease her switching back and forth between soft kitten licks and small circles. Paige is now a series of moans and whines. Azzi experiments, seeing what gets her to moan the loudest. She ends up sucking on her clit lapping at it, then sucking again. 

“Yes oh my fucking god yes Azzi, right there. Don’t stop.” Paige whimpers attaching her hand into Azzi’s hair and pushing her down to add pressure. 

Azzi hums into her pussy continuing to lick and  dip it into her hole.

“So close omfg.” Paige says in between moans. 

Hearing this Azzi stops. Paige looks at her distressed when all of sudden she thrusts two fingers into her stretching her out and pounding into her. 

“Oh god Azzi.” Paige moans throwing her head back and Azzi reattaches her mouth to her clit pounding her fingers in and out of her. 

“I’m gonna cum oh my god. Don’t you dare stop.” 

Azzi feels paige’s gummy walls tighten around her fingers. Smirking she continues to pound into her motivated by her loud moans. 

A band snaps in her stomach and Paige crumbles beneath her into a series of moans pulling at Azzi’s curls as Azzi continues to ride out her high. 

“Azzi oh my god why the fuck is that the first time we have done that.” 

Azzi laughs. 

“ya I don’t know” she says laying down next to her on the bed. 

She is ready to cuddle, a little aftercare hopefully, when all of a sudden, paige is on top of her kissing her shoving her tongue into her mouth massaging her tongue with her own. 

“I can’t be the only one with no pants on” paige says with a smirk. Briskly ripping them off and shoving her hand against her panties. Azzi moans loudly in shock, the feeling of paige’s fingers against her core was one she could get used to. 

“Wow this wet just from my pussy?” 

Azzi nods shakily letting out another breathy moan as Paige toys with her clit through her panties.

“Use your words baby.” Paige says pulling her panties to the side and running her fingers through her slick. 

“Yes all from you.” Azzi moans begging to be touched. 

Paige waists no time thrusting her pointer finger inside her in and out while using her thumb to rub at her clit. 

Azzi clings to her as she feels her legs start to shake. 

“ More please more” Azzi begs craving more of paige to be inside of her.

Paige adds another finger continuing to pound in and out of her hitting her G spot Azzi arches into her grinding against her fingers to get more friction. 

“You need more sweet girl?” Paige questions pulling her fingers out to put them in Azzi’s mouth. Azzi bobs her head against her fingers, nodding. 

Once they are covered in spit, paige pulls them out of her mouth and plunges three back into Azzi grabbing her cheeks and pulling her into a long wet kiss swallowing her moans. 

She begins to feel Azzi’s walls tighten.

Azzi can feel that band in her stomach ripping.  The orgasim crashing down on her hard with every thrust of paige’s fingers. 

“Holy shit im so close” azzi groans 

Paige presses down on her stomach with her other hand. Instantly Azzi lets out a series of moans as her band snaps and she gushes her juices out. Paige lowers herself to clean Azzi up licking up every bit and savoring her juices before coming back up and kissing Azzi letting her taste herself. 

“You’re amazing” she whispers into her ear snuggling up against her. 

“Ya ya, I love you too.” Azzi responds her focus beginning fade. 

They lay there together just enjoying each others company. 

After like 30 minutes Azzi can’t take in any longer. 

“Paige?” 

“Yes baby?”

“I’m hungry”

“There are some fries.”

“I don’t want that. We worked up an appetite. I need real food.”

“Fine we can go get some.” Paige sighed rolling out of bed throwing on a pair of sweats before handing Azzi some of her own. 

They walked out of the dorm together running to Aubrey. 

“Guess you’re not that sad about how you played anymore huh.” Aubrey said chuckling at the two staring lovingly at each other. 

“Nah nothing really matters anymore.” Paige said wrapping her arm around Azzi securely. 

All her problems seemed to fade aways with Azzi near. And it seemed like there was gonna be a lot less problems now that she had finally bagged her. 

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Tongues and Teeth (The Crane Wives)

If you're fine with that you can be mine.... I WILL POISON ALL YOUR HAPPY THOUGHTS!/I WILL LOVE YOU LIKE THE ASHES IN MY CIGARETTE BOX!

I've grown a mouth so sharp and cruel/It's all that I can give to you, my dear/And when you come in quick to steal a kiss/My teeth will only cut your lips, my dear

And I know that you mean so well/But I am not a vessel for your good intent

"I quote the above passage."

"It sounds happy until you listen to the lyrics and then you're like. Oh"

"Can I submit The Crane Wives whole catalog? Just every song they've ever made? Tongues & Teeth is so good tho so I'll make it my flagship, its both so personal and so universal cause you can interpret it in so many ways to apply it to so many blorbos. I've applied it to 10 and it fits and hits different every time. Absolutely Iconic song."

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

Tongues and Teeth submitted by @they-thespian666 + others

[kriskukko]

the little predicaments ive ended up obtaining while making 1816 with the philosophy of 'idk just make it we'll figure it out': - having it take place in historical finland, but not explicitly calling it that, but neither calling it anything else because names are hard and deep down i dont want to make a fantasy world (worldbuilding like that just isnt very interesting to me). so its been just capital, kingdom, empire etc all these characters speak like they meant to do so in code rife with ambiguous placeholders. it makes me want to crawl out of my skin in regular intervals there just isn't a way for me to invent names that are better than mariehamn maarianhamina, sweden sverige ruotsi, venäjä ryssland russia, suomi finland OR tanska danmark DENMARK. thats a fine name right there - ok assume i start now what if i want to shuffle a historical fact around or make an adjustment in the setting because i feel like it serves the narrative. WHAT THEN. ive already done this a lot, with the plein air, finnish surnames and the gays and the transgenders. and stuff that will come up promptly when i get into the other goings on - this is written in english, but i love the language politics and communication/social nuance going at the time in this country. a lot of 'the estated people' aka gentlefolk (fin. herrasväki) and thereon characters featured in the comic are bilingual, for swedish is the language of the upper classes and offices, while finnish is that of the common people and therein majority of the population with whom they deal with. johann's family speaks finnish amongst each other (a signifier of less prosperous origins), but with hans he communicates in swedish. this is natural enough to them, as hans' finnish is broken at best and atrocious at worst (again, an illustration of exposure/necessity). but then, we do have characters either already introduced or upcoming who only speak either or. mäntynen has learned swedish fine enough, as such he converses with hans without issue, but for example his wife and children aren't half as practiced. needless to say with johann the lot of them have communicated fluently in finnish. ( there were more languages spoken here at the time, but this drama takes place in a version of the southwestern coast wherein those two and the division therein were the most prevalent. tho some of the military/officers in town definitely speak russian and are mingling with the upper society in their parties etc. )

and yeah idk i am yet to wrap my head around how i'd even begin illustrating those layers. make it italics, asterisk it, write it in english in a way that hopefully isn't offensive (my step father is a fennoswede and he has a very fascinating pronunciation/spelling at parts, the double consonants/vowels always get em. im trilingual so me and my sister slip into all three languages at once sometimes) but illustrates either entire or partial language barrier. honestly, this is probably one of those obsessions that feels big and important, but to the story doesn't make much of a difference. its just neat to me specifically.

[transformersoneiq]

Heyyyyy

It's time to flesh out this au

Megatron

- pretty much the same as canon, but a bit more chill and less grumpy

- this is mainly due to Orion being with him unlike with canon

- Orion is like 90% of his impulse control and he values Orion's input as his second in command greatly

- they are in fact already dating and Megatron is not at all shy about it, in fact he can be quite clingy and possessive

- Megatron does try to dial it back when Orion is uncomfy with it, tho. He just... doesn't want to lose him

- he loves Orion so much that if it came down to it, he would abandon the cause and become an autobot with him, something Orion doesn't quite realize

Orion

- quite level headed and kind, somewhat like his canon self, but with a bit of bitterness and hate beginning to seep in from Megatron's influence

- often has times of doubt in the cause, but just a few words from Megatron's signature speeches can kill those doubts, he trusts him and is loyal to a fault

- nowhere near as violent or aggro compared to most other Decepticons and tries to keep from losing his cool

- hates Starscream, and I mean HATES him. He is not fond of how Starscream tries to cozy up with Megatron to gain favor or tries to sabotage and overthrow him. If Megatron let him, he is probably the one person he would be able to bring himself to actually kill rn

- homies with Soundwave and is always teasing him about his crush on Shockwave, trying to play wingman

- adores the cassettes and is always willing to watch them for Soundwave. Rumble and Frenzy call him Uncle Ori

- despite his times of doubt and his hatred towards Starscream, he cares about most of his fellow Decepticons very deeply and would lay down his life for them

- may or may not already be carrying Megatron's sparklings, but is terrified of telling him

Stinger Prime

- hella stressed, but doing his best

- tends to be all over the place and needs Elita's help refocusing

- very clingy with and protective of Elita due to her being the only one of their original squad he has left. He doesn't want to be alone again...

- sometimes goes back to sublevel 50 when overstimulated

- Not always the brightest, Elita being the brains to his brawn

- incredibly strong willed and determined despite everything and can pull himself together in combat

- instead of knife hands, he now has... lightsaber hands. LIGHTSABER HANDS!!!

- can sometimes communicate with the spirits of the 13. Really likes talking to Micronus

- cries himself to sleep sometimes... he really misses D and Orion

- sometimes he wishes he never tried to save Sentinel and ended up becoming a prime

Elita

- so tired of managing Stinger's ADHD ridden ass

- still cares about him deeply though and is very protective of him

- despite the fact he can take care of himself mostly, he will absolutely kick the aft of anyone messing with him

- despite claiming otherwise, she too really misses D and Orion

- is always willing to hold Stinger when he cries about them

- is soft for Stinger and only Stinger, he is her special little guy, even if he isn't so little anymore

- still also provides him plenty of tough love

- mother Elita supremacy

[kayaani]

HOW DID THEY CONFESS THEIR FEELINGS (ft. Scaramouche, Ayato, Itto.)

cw: possible OOC, fluff, spelling mistakes (not sure tho), GN! Reader.

𖤐 Scaramouche probably didn't even acknowledge those feelings at first. He doesn't have a heart, he couldn't have those feelings, right? Well, he does not have a heart, but he does feel.

After so many days, weeks, even months denying his own feelings for you he would end up realizing something was wrong with him. Something was off. How could he be attached to you, a mere mortal who could never be near his place. Yet, there was no denying when he felt his heart ache like that whenever he got to see you.

Pacing restlessly around his room, discussing with himself about the unknown fondness for you. He ended up admitting to himself that he was, indeed, in love. He made a letter, words carefully chosen and written neatly in the expensive paper. What was inside the letter? His confession, in the most indirect way possible, I don't think he would show his vulnerability or love after what happened when he did. He made it clear for you that you should be grateful he chose you, and that he acknowledged you aside from being his companion.

𖤐 Ayato, on the contrary, noticed and accepted those feelings since the first time he felt them.

He is a busy man. He doesn't have much time to spend time outside or with friends —even though he sometimes does for Thoma and his dear sister— but he also knew how important it would be to spare some time for his beloved, you.

He invited you on a date in the most expensive restaurant in Inazuma City. He wanted it to be perfect, to make you happy.

He spent the entire dinner looking at you, admiring every inch of your face. He listened to you talking about your day, about how surprised you felt when you found three beautiful flowers in your garden early in the morning, and how excited you felt about the dinner he invited you over. At the end of the date, before you couldn't get up from your seat, he gently held your hands in his and expressed everything he felt.

𖤐 Itto is the most kind and funny person you've ever met. He was liked by everyone in the Inazuma City, known for his playful, easygoing personality, and well...his lack of intelligence sometimes.

You were good friends with Itto, often hanging out together and chatting about everything you could think of. That was something you loved about him, the fact that he was like a vitamin for you to cure your sadness or numbness just by being with him.

He wasn't the best with feelings, but he did notice something was different with you. You were not just like other friends he has, you were special, unique. He felt something in his chest that he didn't feel with anyone else. And others noticed that too when he would accidentally bring you to whatever topic he could be talking with his friends, or when he thought about you everyday, about that pretty smile of yours.

His confession was...let's just say, surprising. You and him were playing with two beetles you found when he suddenly said "I think I love you" Those words were enough for you to accidentally drop the poor insect and look at him surprised. He looked surprised too that he said it.

[forcebook]

Hello there, do you mind sharing your favorite bls of 2024? Thanks!

hi! honestly i suck at keeping track of shows and ranking them asdfghjkl i want to keep better track next year tho and maybe even make some celebratory gifsets but we shall see!

and since you asked for it, i decided to check mdl and do a deep dive on which shows have aged well in my mind and score lmao

my top rated dramas of 2024 are:

love for love’s sake

my only 5 stars drama of the year. doesn’t surprise me at all. this show took me completely my storm at the beginning of the year. it has such a compelling story and it’s so efficient on so many levels. but most importantly, it sticks the landing. it gives closure to a story that wasn’t even finished. and it does so well. the definition of lightning in a bottle!

love in the big city

this show made me feel emotions unknown to humanity so i get my rating asdfghjkl felt really personal to me. it is also incredibly efficient and very necessary!

knock knock boys!

i said it halfway through its run and i’ll say it again: one of the best bls of 2024. no wonder i rated it this high asdfghjkl within its premise it promised very little and delivered soooo much with some incredible takes. while i love when bls do new things, to me a story told well is fantastic regardless of how cliché it might be to some. and knock knock boys manages to feel very familiar but also very refreshing with the way it handled some topics. super funny and it stuck the landing to me. in a completely different way from love for love’s sake but very satisfying!

jack & joker: u steal my heart!

this is the thai bl of the year to me. for all the conversations it started, interesting characters, refreshing plot and also for existing purely on the love and dedication of its creators. while it is not perfect, i do hope that when we look back on 2024, we see it as the year of jack and joker

century of love

i’ve loved daouoffroad since love in translation. i was a bit skeptical of century of love at first but i ended up loving it a lot. i’m also not surprised at all this made my top 5 asdfghjkl

now i would like to add a few shows that haven’t finished airing yet but had most of their run in 2024 and i’m pretty sure they’re going to be in top rated dramas

miseinen (our youth)

it is the japanese bl of the year to me. hands down. i could rant but at the same time i have no words asdfghjkl this show goes beyond efficiency or even sticking the landing (which i hope they do), but it’s the whole vibe. because while incredibly sad, you can see how much love and care exists in it. the characters are so alive and so complex and beautiful and godddd i love them. 10/10 no notes

see your love

came out of nowhere promising very little and delivered one of the best bls of 2024 imo. i don’t even remember when was the last time i felt compelled to gif a taiwanese bl but this show is sooo inspiring and fun and important. i just love it

caged again

this show promised nothing except wacky plot and delivered such a hilarious and compelling and heartfelt story. i love when i get these little surprises. shall live on in my heart

honorable mentions:

let's eat together, aki and haru 2: more please!

my only other 5 stars of the year. but it’s a movie so i didn’t include it up there. still. it’s a nearly flawless execution of a beautiful genre that i love: queer stories revolving around food and domesticity. it delivered exactly what it promised efficiently and i loooooove it so much!!!!!

sugar dog life

also came out of nowhere promising nothing and delivered a really solid little story, also revolving around food and domesticity. can you tell i’m biased lmao

the rebound

BALL IS LIFE!!!!!! we need more bls about sports. asap. we don’t have enough!!!! and this show was a surprise to me. i ended up super invested for the most part and i do think it stands out in the tiny little corner of bl sports therefore it deserves an honorable mention

blue canvas of youthful days

chinese bls always have a special place in my heart for fighting so hard to exist. this one is no exception. it got taken down when it first started airing and i’m glad they managed to release all of it eventually. it’s far from being perfect but i was still thoroughly invested in it. i love the main couple with my entire heart. and i’m soooooo grateful they got their happy ending!!

monster next door

as a deeply introverted person, this is the representation i needed asdfghjkl it felt refreshing and a conversation worth having about respecting introverts and other people’s ways of living. plus diew is autistic to me (source: i’m autistic) and it was an overall good show!!! bigpark my beloveds!!

and that’s it! thank you for asking 💕

[fictitiouswanderings]

untitled jayvik throwaway part 3

Morning came and so did the sickness as Viktor limped as quickly as he could to his bathroom to throw up. He leaned over the toilet and continued to throw up until his body couldn’t do it any longer. Exhausting as that was, Viktor knew he had to get up for the day so he reached over and turned the shower on and flushed the vomit down. The nausea still played on his stomach but he got up and managed to make it into the shower, cleaning up his body. After getting out and drying off he quickly brushed his teeth to get the remainder of the taste out. After limping back over to his bed he began to put his braces on and then his clothing. It didn’t take long until he was dressed and ready for the day. Grabbing his cane he stood up, the difference of the braces and support really were noticeable to him.The walk wasn’t long to the lab so he locked up his apartment and went on his way.

Once at the lab Viktor started a pot of coffee, it was a habit at this point, even if he didn’t want any for himself at the moment. He grabbed his goggles and gloves and sat at his workspot before jumping right in. 

Jayce showed up an hour and a half later and grabbed a cup of coffee for himself. “Good morning”, he spoke, mid-yawn.

Viktor chuckled and looked his way, “Good morning to you too. Do you have plans for today?” “I always have a plan for the day” Jayce replied, taking a sip of the piping-hot coffee. 

Viktor wondered how he was going to tell him, he already felt a knot in his stomach over it.

“What are you working on?” Jayce questioned as he came closer

“Just a little trinket really” Viktor replied, it wasn’t really anything serious he was working on at the moment, just something to keep him preoccupied. 

“Hey Vik” Jayce said kinda quietly as he leaned against the desk, coffee still in hand. “I wanted to ask you if you were feeling okay, you passed out just the other day and took a day off of work, are you sure you’re ready to be back so soon?” Viktor sat up in his chair and stiffened a little bit, he moved to remove his goggles so he could look the other in the eye, now was the best time if any it felt like. 

“I’m fine to be back so soon, I did go to the doctors after all and they cleared me for work for now” “For now?” “Well…you see…I’m not doing the greatest and might require bed rest” “What do you mean you’re not doing the greatest?? You look better than before, almost glowing.” This made Viktor blush a little bit, was it from the pregnancy?? “Jayce, I..it’s kind of hard to say this. I’m pregnant” 

Jayce stumbled a little bit but found a chair next to the other and sat down, setting his coffee on the table. “And it’s mine isn’t it?” Viktor just nodded. 

“Wow…I mean…we’ve been “unsafe” this entire time it was bound to happen?” “I was told by a doctor previously that I was infertile so I didn’t think much of it, plus being on hormones I didn’t think it would happen” “How far along are you?” Jayce asked, looking for any sign of a bump.

“I’m only three and a half months along” Viktor said, putting a hand to his hardly showing belly. “It’s easier to see when I’m not in my brace”

“I wanted to ask you how you felt about this, but you seem to be taking it positively” Viktor spoke again

“I love kids!” Jayce replied. “I probably never told you but I have a big family, lots of cousins and kids to chase after” he chuckled. “I never thought i’d be having my own so soon tho…you do plan on keeping it right?”

There he was asking the hard questions.

“To be honest at first no…” A look of brief sadness ran across Jayce’s face hearing that news.

“But if you stay by my side through this I’d be willing to keep them..A child should have a family dont you think?” Jayce was once again all grins as he embraced Viktor tightly. “I promise to stay by your side” he reassured the other. “I’ll even go with you to the doctors if you want, actually i’d rather not miss any appointments!” Viktor pawed at Jayce trying to get him to loosen up on him when the other finally let go and sat back in his chair. He sighed a little and grabbed the other’s mug of coffee, blowing on it before taking a sip. “I’m so glad” he spoke softly, not making eye contact with the other. Jayce just smiled at the other and rubbed his shoulders. “Anything you need from me you let me know” “Anything?” Viktor raised an eyebrow at the other. “I suppose there are a few things I could think of since you’ve gotten me in this predicament” Jayce wasn’t sure if he should take it back after saying it, especially after the other’s reaction,  but he meant what he said. If he was going to be a good partner to his now pregnant partner he’d have to do everything he possibly could to appease them.

It wasn’t long until Viktor understood the various signals his body was sending him, when he was going to throw up, or when he might just need to have a seat for a second. He wished the morning sickness would go away, and supposedly it would with time but he didn’t have extra time to be ill. He also wished that Jayce didn’t stop whatever he was doing whenever he sighed or grunted even a little bit. “Are you alright?” “Is everything Okay?” “Do you need anything?” It was beginning to get on his nerves just how much the other was doting on him. 

“I’m pregnant not incapable!” Viktor finally snapped one day. “Sorry, you’re right” the other replied quickly “ I just..” “Wanted to make sure I’m okay. I get it. How about I just tell you when I need something? Does that sound good?” “Yeah” Jayce smiled softly at him before getting back to work. “Actually I could use something” Viktor spoke softly, a little annoyed at himself just now. “What is it?” “Could you pull out the couch? I want to lay down for a moment” “Sure thing!” Jayce quickly put down his work to move the couch they’d added into the lab for late nights. Seemed like it was a good call after all to have the piece of furniture there. He looked to the other for insight on how he wanted it moved but otherwise pulled it away from the wall, dusting off the back of it since it sat just underneath a chalk board and accumulated some of the dust from it. “Thank you” Viktor replied before sitting down, groaning a little before grabbing his leg and pulling it up on the couch, the other soon to follow. Jayce stood at the end of the couch quietly, almost expectantly.

It took Viktor a moment to notice that the other hadn’t gone back to work and he looked up at him. He looked like a damn puppy, waiting for some instruction or attention.

“....would…you like to sit with me?” Viktor spoke

Jayce just nodded quickly and sat at the far end of the couch so Viktor wouldn’t have to move. Slowly his hands made their way to his shins, massaging them idly. “Mm…that’s actually quite nice thank you” Viktor sighed. His whole body ached, and he worried how the rest of the pregnancy was going to be because if it was going to be like this he almost couldn’t argue with the doctor on bedrest.  “I’m glad you’re taking breaks” Jayce replied, slowly working his way down to the other’s feet. He gave the other a look before taking off his shoes surprising him a little and beginning to work on massaging his feet.

Viktor couldn’t help the little moan that slipped past his lips. Having the other’s hands working on him felt amazing. He was so focused on everything feeling bad that he didn’t realize how bad his feet were hurting him as well. Jayce just chuckled and continued to massage.

“I used to listen to Mama and the other women talking about their pregnancies growing up and they always complained that their feet hurt the worst”

“Well this certainly is helping” Viktor replied, smiling at the other and trying to just relax against the couch.

[ More to possibly come, if anyone has any prompts they are welcome to comment them. I eventually want to do a scene where Viktor despite being fairly pregnant pegs Jayce ]

[ghost-proofbaby]

wishing you a festive period that is kind to you. I think about 24hours eddie and reader constantly - all the things and occasions he would want to make up for, having missed out spending them with reader. you know how this time of year can feel very nostalgic and a time for guilt and reflection to creep in.. sigh - I know they’d both want to make up for it 🖤

thank you, nonnie <3 i am wishing you the very same.

it truly would be. something in the december air is just naturally laced with guilt and eddie would be so far from being immune to it.

the first holiday season would be the worst, as everyone in the group just knows what to get you for gifts, but he realizes he doesn't know as much as they do about you. he'd have to ask about your favorite show, your favorite movies, your favorite albums. he can't just casually buy you a cute pullover for your favorite franchise like robin has - he didn't even know that that had been your favorite franchise until she'd excitedly showed him. not only that, but then there's the aspect of not only hearing now about traditions set in stone between you and the others, but watching them set into motion. movie nights that were apparently your favorite part of the season, a specific flavor of coffee from your favorite coffee shop that was seasonal only and he'd never caught on to. regardless of the holiday you celebrate, he wouldn't know; he wouldn't know if you preferred white christmas lights or colored, he wouldn't know what day of the year you burn yule logs, he wouldn't know the story behind your menorah gifted to you in your youth that you treat as fragile as crumbling ashes. all the little things, all the big things, and he's just lost.

he might ignore you at first without meaning to. start to recede into himself, lash out when he doesn't mean it, pick arguments without knowing the root of his sour mood. but when you finally confront him? when the two of you do what you do best, and have a truthful conversation?

oh.

oh it all clicks into place for him.

"who cares if you know those things?" you'd ask with a scrunched nose, carrying over trying to extravagantly wrap argyle's gift in a fashion that the shape completely derails him from actually guessing what you had gotten him.

"i care," and god. he'd sound desperate. broken. and it'd make you look up, a bit shocked, not expecting to find a broken eddie munson looking back at you, "i... fuck, i care about those things. i should know those things. if i hadn't been such a dick, i would know tho-"

and you'd interrupt him, so quickly, so fierce to stop him from going down that pathway, "parks and recreation."

he'd stand there so confused, blank face that slowly contorts into sheer befuddlement. "what?"

"my favorite show," you'd double down, "parks and rec. i also have a soft spot for gilmore girls, if we're keeping score. don't tell steve though. he spent weeks trying to convince me to secretly watch it with him, only to go and watch it with some chick he met on an app, so to get revenge i was hate watching it only to end up loving it."

and in one clean sweep, you've managed to accomplish two things he'd yearned for: knowledge of a basic fact, and a secret just between you two.

from there, it just avalanches.

you do away with the gift for now, giving him your full attention, sitting on the floor of the apartment and exchanging all those missed details. he tells you stories about holidays with wayne, you finally explain that god awful pair of faux diamond earrings you never wear but will never, ever get rid of. the two of you talk about the gifts you've wanted in the past but never received. talk about the favorite gifts you've been given. your favorite year for the holidays, when you were children and the magic was still there. maybe you let it slip how you miss that magic; the feeling of being a little kid and everything being more about the love and electricity in the air rather than the stress and pressure of the holidays.

"i want to wake up on christmas morning," you'd say, leaning back your head wistfully against the couch you'd sat up in front of, "and for it to feel like the movies again. you know? being giddy and oblivious and- i don't know. is that stupid?"

he'd shake his head, smiling softly, sharing that same sentiment.

"no, i get it. just... missing the magic."

naturally, eddie goes out of his way to give you the greatest gift of all - somehow, against all odds, he'd bring back the magic.

small things. when you bring up wanting to go out and see lights on the neighborhood lights, he's bundling you up in one of his sweaters and loading the two of you onto his bike to go slow crawl through the twinkling streets. even gives you his only pair of riding gloves, despite his hands freezing to the point of cherry red, just to let you enjoy it all comfortably. when there's a baking recipe you're interested in, he buys the ingredients on his way home, and you get so excited you cancel plans with the group to stay in with him and fail at it miserably. flour across both your cheeks, but it doesn't matter, because you're too busy laughing to notice the imperfections. you both try to say that milk helps the burnt cookies - it doesn't, but the softness in his eyes when he watches you embarrassingly snort on your glass at how terrible the taste is does. more home-cooked meals than the two of you have had in years, some tasting as divine as you remembered, and others being put away in a "better left alone" envelope.

in the end, it doesn't matter that robin was the one to get you the pullover, or that steve has tasted your family's 'award-winning' pie recipe before him. eddie's the one making you laugh as the clock strikes midnight, scolding you about being quiet or else the elves or some shit will hear you, as you just cackle louder and smack his chest, shutting him up with a kiss.

december air is a little bit sweeter after that year. a little less guilty, and a little bit more magical.

[mifluffy-thoughts]

MLQC & LaDs Comparison: Sylus and Gavin

This is the first post in my planned series comparing the LIs of LaDs to the ones from MLQC. I am doing this as InFold has already shown they have a few things they tend to gravitate towards in their writing, and common themes between the two stories can help better understand both and possibly even come up with theories. Originally, I planned to do a comparison between Sylus and all the MLQC LIs, but I just had too many things to talk about with these two so I'm going to do it one by one. For clarity's sake, the MLQC MC will be referred to as P!MC (producer MC) and the LaDs MC will be referred to as H!MC (hunter MC).

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING FOR BOTH GAMES

General Stuff

Sylus and Gavin are practically polar opposites if looked at from afar. Sylus is a criminal, Gavin is a cop. Sylus loves fancy suits, Gavin absolutely hates them (even if he looks great in them :3). Sylus's main colors palette-wise are black and red, Gavin's are blue and white. Sylus has very particular tastes and will barely touch anything he finds to not be "good enough" (you will not catch this man wearing Shein) meanwhile Gavin just wants his stuff to be functional. Sylus does not have the best musical abilities, while Gavin can play the guitar and sing on-tune. I could go on and on about the things they are complete opposites in, and they are on a surface level, but there's a lot more to look at with these two. Dates and Birds

The first thing that came to mind while I was thinking about this is the fact that they have dates that are terrifyingly similar in concept. When I was reading Sylus's Nightplumes memoria, my jaw hit the fucking floor. The concept is fairly simple. H!MC finds an injured dove and asks Sylus to take care of it when she has to leave Linkon. When she returns, they have a cute romantic moment when they meet up and when they free the dove.

Now, let me tell you the concept for Gavin's Brilliant Date. This date is attached to a card from an event in which the player had to log in daily and do a small task to eventually get the free SSR card. The story behind the event is this: Gavin finds an injured dove and begins taking care of it, however he gets a mission and has to leave, so he asks P!MC to take care of it. The date attached to the card shows their meet up once Gavin comes back and the romantic moments that takes place before, during and after they release the dove.

Sound familiar?

While the romantic moments that take place in the dates (as in, the scene with the snow and fireworks for Nightplumes and the window and rooftop scenes for the Brilliant Date) are very different, the overall concept is practically identical, the roles are just switched. And listen, I don't know if "nursing an injured dove back to health while the character who first found the bird is out of town" is a common trope in Chinese VNs (I have only played LaDs and MLQC. I tried Tears of Themis, it wasn't my jam), but in all other otome games that I've played, and I've played a lot, I have only seen this happen in these two occasions. Please correct me if I'm wrong, tho.

Now, what does this imply about the connections between these characters? Well, I feel like this was mainly just to strengthen both of the characters' bird connections, as they are both associated with birds. Sylus's bird association is much more concrete, with the crow imagery basically being yelled at us every other second. Gavin, on the other hand, is much less connected with one bird but rather all birds (that can fly). Gavin acts a lot like a bird- he eats everything with little complaint, he prefers to enter P!MC's apartment through the window, he is very curious and often gets into shit he shouldn't. As such, these two dates serve to highlight these two characters' "birdiness". Tracking MC and Protectiveness

You read that right, both of these characters track MC (with her consent, ofc), albeit in different ways. Sylus tracks H!MC via Mephisto and Gavin tracks P!MC using his Evol (although at first he tells P!MC it's through a GPS tracker in the bracelet he gifted her, probably because this was only a few hours after she found out Evol existed and didn't want to freak her out even more and to have a easy way to identify her). The reason they track MC is the exact same, to keep her safe. Both of them know their MC is being targeted by dangerous forces, and they are unwilling to risk her getting into danger.

However, there is one major difference in the ways they track MC that show a key difference in their protectiveness. Due to Mephisto having a camera and microphone, Sylus doesn't just know where H!MC is, he also knows what she's doing and what she's saying. This gives him a perfect image of what she's up to and, more importantly, who's around her. Sylus knows H!MC is in extreme danger not just because of her Evol and the aether core and whatnot, but also because she's involved with him. She's a target for countless of people. Not only that, she's a hunter. Her job puts her life on the line constantly as she fights to protect Linkon from wanderers.

Sylus knows how reckless H!MC can get if it means saving others. He's experienced that first hand. He knows the lengths she went to just to save him. Of course, we all know how that ended, since he was willing to do the same. But H!MC way back when they first met didn't love anyone aside from him. Now, there's so many people she loves, and he's terrified of that being used against her in any remotely similar way to how it was used in the past. Gavin, on the other hand, only knows where P!MC is. From what I gather, his Evol lets him "feel" what's in the wind. The bracelet was probably just a way for him to easily know that it's her since it's one-of-a-kind. Once he got used to how she felt, he didn't need it anymore. And while he may be protective of her, and he may be terrified of what could happen to her, he has much less to fear than Sylus.

Unlike Sylus (so far), Gavin knows he's not the only one looking out for MC. At the bare minimum, he knows Lucien will protect her, and implications from chapter 18 show that he might also be aware that Victor and Kiro are also looking out for her. And those are just the strongest. Minor and Anna are also keeping her safe in their own ways. Gavin will protect her the most he can, and is willing to go to any lengths to keep her safe, but his worry is much less about who could be a danger to P!MC, it's about what. When P!MC is about to get shot, who saves her? Gavin. Because he knew where she was and he could feel both the sniper and the bullet. And this happens twice. When P!MC is falling from Loveland TV Tower, who saves her? Gavin. Because he could feel her falling and could save her quickly. And in all but one of these situations, Gavin isn't the only one keeping P!MC safe. The first time someone tries to shoot her, Lucies further protects her with a force field. When P!MC is falling, Kiro is making sure Black Swan doesn't get to her.

So yeah, this is something where they are both extremely similar and also very different.

MC Saving them Through Music

The way Gavin's Evol awakened is pretty iconic (if you're in the MLQC fandom). For those who are unaware, Gavin fell off the roof of his and P!MC's high school. Unless something miraculously broke his fall, he was going to die. But then he heard P!MC playing the piano. Something about the tune she was playing awakened the Evol within him, allowing him to fly by controlling the around him. This made a ton of gingko leaves fly around him, and he was able to survive. Had it not been because of P!MC's song, he would have died.

Then there's Sylus. The way her song saved him is in a much less physical sense, but it was because of her song that he was not only able to begin understanding human emotion, but also get the will to survive for long enough to save H!MC. When he first hears the song on the organ, he is genuinely moved. Up until that point, he thought he was basically unable to feel anything aside from desire. Whether it was the desire for acceptance, the desire for gold or the desire for revenge, that was all he knew. But the song made him feel something different. When he was injured to near-death, it was that song that gave him the will to live. Of course, we all know how this story ends.

Honestly, both of these moments are extremely heart breaking. Neither Sylus nor Gavin really cared about their own lives. Sure, Sylus pretended he was happy just collecting treasure and getting revenge on those who trapped him, but he was absolutely hated by everyone. As soon as his horns started growing, his world fell apart. Everyone attacked him, everyone thought he was a monster and he hated it. And then Gavin was made to feel like dirt by his father. The only reason Gavin was alive was to protect his mother and his brother, but eventually he lost them both. And as soon as his father saw any potential in him, he became just another pawn in his games. Music reminded both of them that there's more to life then just surviving.

Other Stuff

To wrap it all off, I'll just list some other things I noticed about these two that are worth mentioning but don't have enough juice for me to write paragraphs and paragraphs of.

Both of them went through some kind of "rebirth". Gavin had his rebirth with his Evol awakening (keep in mind he thought he had no Evol as far as I'm aware) and Sylus had his dragon rebirth

Both of them learn that justice isn't as simple as it's made out to be in the worst way possible. Sylus through how he was hated by everyone due to being a dragon and how P!MC was tried in court and Gavin through basically his entire arc in S1

Both of their backstories are heavily linked to a plant. Gavin has the ginkgo while Sylus has the datura

Both of them are often perceived to be cruel or monstrous by others, especially when they were younger

Both of them have several occasions where their MC has to patch up their wounds

And that's it! Hope you enjoyed this very thorough comparison. Up next will probably be Zayne and Gavin because I just cannot stop thinking about their similarities. No promises, tho! -Fluffy

[throwawaybog]

hmmm. i def dont think sally would do it. she says once to percy that he is too much like her. they have to make their own choices. that life is precious because it is theirs to live. its why percy knows he has to let sally take care of gabe. its why when bianca makes the choice that costs her her life percy lets her. bc that was her choice. its why he doesnt try to stop annabeth from going on her MOA quest or when grover. his best friend. one of the most important ppl in the world to him. someone he shares a SOUL BOND with. leaves to begin the Search. something that has a 100% death rate. percy is all about free will and choices. its why he worked as the Prophecy hero. he chose the prophecy so nico wouldnt suffer it. and then olympus was saved bc percy made the choice trust and let Luke make a choice too. so i dont think sally would do it. because percy gets all that from her.

frederick chase hmmmmm okay. i dont think he would? cant explain why but i dont think he'd do it. tho. frederick chase is so interesting to me as a char bc think abt having annabeth from his persepctive. athena doesnt do romance and is an eternal maiden. she has thought babies. so to frederick, the lady he discussed his thesis with dropped a baby on his doorpstep. he didnt consent to a baby and wasnt even irresponsible with s*x or anything. and now theres a whole baby. someone who is half of him. that he. a young college student has gotta single dad. so okay, i dont think he'd do it to a teengaed annabeth. but maybe, if he was offered this chance when she was a baby, he would have at least thought about it.

maria di angelo, i don't think would have done it. one, because she's dead, and nico is a kid who was propelled to the future. he needs a support system. but also, if that wasn't the case. if say, she was alive, i still don't think she'd do it. because hades very obviously was in love with her, and loves his children. she wouldn't deny them that connection--because she loves them too. it's a hard life, sure, but it was one rich with love.

Marie Levesque. i don't think she OR Beryl Grace would do it. Beryl because her children are solid proof of HER connection to Zeus. He came back for her TWICE. she wanted the glitz and glam that comes from being loved by the king of the gods, but all she got was the tragedy. Marie Levesque is in a somewhat similar boat. besides, she was a student of magic as well. the connection to the other is always going to be important to her. and Hazel's gift/curse is going to be coveted as well.

i don't know anything about naomi. so i won't know where she falls.

julian ramirez arellano, i dont think he would either. before becoming a mania, before the PTSD of Iraq, he was described as gentle and loving. when coming back, he started a relationship with bellona again. i think his love for her would keep him from severing the connection hylla and reyna would have to her.

now. for emily zhang and esperanza valdez. these are the two i believed would have. potentially done so. emily, if it was when frank was first born, because by giving him a normal life, severed by all connection to the gods, he would no longer have his life tied to a piece of firewood. however, she is dead, and frank is alone. he needs support, she wants him to be happy, and he gets it, through New Rome, as a Praetor, and through his relationship with Hazel and his bond with Percy. so ultimately, she wouldn't.

esperanza though, i feel would. she just wants her baby to have a fucking break. BUT. again. i think this is Pre-HoO. after that. i dont think so, because again. support system. regardless, im choosing esperanza, as i believe she has the most chance.

*for deceased parents, assume that the choice is being offered to them in the afterlife. **tristan mclean was excluded due to his special circumstances.

feel free to explain your answer and follow for daily pjo polls + fandom creator content! 🌊💎⚡☠️

[wandering-free-and-queer]

Went on a huge witch/craft supplies run yesterday, spent a fuck ton of money more than I wanted, but I thing it's worth it. I got refills on a bunch of the stuff I've been sharing with kiddo and coworker, I got a book on mermaid magic that looked hella cool, four more oracle decks including three of the Seasons of the Witch decks (Beltane, Litha, and Mabon!), hubby managed to surprise me by sneaking these gorgeous tree of life notebooks into our cart when I wasn't looking, I got a few more notebooks myself in a different store (those were for a good cause and I can't resist notebooks lol), and there were two copies of Cunninghams Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs so I grabbed them both, one for Kiddo and one for Coworker.

Next step in kiddos present is gonna be Grovedaughter Witchery by @breelandwalker and herbs out the ass lol. They already have the crystals I could share, and I've gotten them a pendulum and a tarot deck.

(Sorry if I get overly emotional about Kiddo this week y'all, they turn 18 on Wednesday and I'm having some very strong emotions about it...)

[yuwuta]

PLS PLS PLSSSSS keep talking about kids with olympic athletes! gojo and nanami pls pls pls i have to Know. everything u wrote about yuuta was already so so cute

(prev olympics au here)

the gojo twins are hilarious because your baby boy looks exactly like satoru, but has very little of his personality—it seems like the only things he inherited was satoru’s love for sweets and love for you. still, even though he’s a strong swimmer, he much prefers to relax in his floaties alongside you if you’re also in the pool, or chill by your side on a lounge chair, glasses too big for his face keeping the sun out of his eyes as he shares his smoothie with you, and asks to borrow your phone to take pictures of his sister and daddy in the pool. 

your baby girl on the other hand… she might have your face but she’s got satoru’s everything else—his competitive streak, his confidence, and definitely his mischievous nature. she’s the one who tiptoes into your bedroom at five in the morning, tapping at her daddy’s shoulders, and putting her little finger over his lip to shush him before he can wake you up; she’s always the one to convince satoru to take her swimming the backyard at the crack of dawn, and why by the time you and your baby boy wake up, she and satoru are already past warm up laps and swimming lessons and onto who can make the splashiest canonball competitions (she always wins because while her tiny body can endure a belly flop, satoru’s years of training physically doesn’t allow him to do it… and maybe because he’s not so competitive when it comes to his baby girl, he’ll always let her win). 

kento’s professional judo career honestly doesn’t last very long. after his first olympic games, you two start dating and he proposes just after he wins gold the second time he’s in the olympics; he does maybe two more years of national competitions while you’re pregnant, and decides that the intense training for the next two years in preparation of a third olympic competition isn’t worth missing time he could spend with you or your baby girl—plus, with all the money he’s made from competitions, winning gold medals, brand ambassadorships, commercials, and collaborations, he had enough money to provide for all of your for the rest of your lives. so, that’s what he does (his dream has always been to be a househusband, anyway...) his previous salaryman career comes in handy when deciding how to invest his money, how to buy a house, how to take care of his friends, how to set up a fund for your daughter, and an extra account or two… just incase more babies come along… 

by the time your baby girl is four, she’s already kento’s biggest fan. she loudly and proudly proclaims to everybody that her daddy was basically superman and won all the shiny trophies and medals in the house from when he was being a superhero. if anyone recognizes kento when they’re out together, she always confirms their suspicions, proudly boasting, “yeah kento is my daddy! he’s a winner!” it always makes kento’s heart swell to hear her praise. he doesn’t compete professionally anymore, but he does train from time to time, and has taken on a few mentees, and your daughter LOVES to watch him coach/train. she’s got her own uniform that she always puts on whenever they go to the gym together, and gets so excited when kento or ino or yuuji pretend to spar with her. 

she’s honestly kento’s mini figure. she’s respectful and reserved, but strong and knows when to fight and how to use her voice. there’s a time when he gets a call from her school saying that she got in a fight, the principal frames it as your daughter needlessly pushing around an older kid, but your daughter is certain in her words when she tells her dad that it was because the kid was being mean to the younger kids, and to her. kento doesn’t say a word to the teachers—doesn’t even fight them sending her home early for the day, because he’s happy to scoop her up and take her out for ice cream and tell her that he’s proud of her.

[vaguely-concerned]

lucanis truly has a near terminal case of burned out golden child syndrome. caterina fucked both of these kids over so incredibly bad with the dynamic she enforced there, with illario being labled the perpetual fuckup kid where lucanis 'could do no (would never be allowed to do) wrong'. the way he admits in the first coffee date scene that the only thing that happened when he showed he could carry the weight of expectation was that more weight was added makes me so sad. you can hear it in caterina's voice in his intro mission that she's incredibly proud of him, but this is clearly a leandra and hawke situation where that pride never translates into relief or resolution or unconditional warmth or understanding or anything that really helps.

[awesomehoggirl]

Hey another year passed. It really did pass!

Plot twist I am not allowed to swim anymore. I am making some progress with stopping compulsive walking!

I sleep so normal now especially at college I get up at 8 and go to bed at 11 like CLOCKWORK

Nothing was finished outside of school screenplays i was busy and crazy. Big big goal for the new year is to write a new short story even if it sux bc i am paralyzed by perfectionism atm

I PUBLISHED POETRY EVERYBODY CHEER!!!!!! HOLY SHIT

i WON AN AWARD for my articles and also joined the magazine at my US college and wrote a feature for them (+copyedited lawl)

I got proper therapy for the first time ever it was a complex and multifaceted experience thank you NHS. i am going to start taking my meds again i think Because you know I stopped doing that

I love to pester. furthermore I love to put my hand up and answer a question. I love to schedule a 1 on 1 when i dont understand something. i love to send emails make phone calls and advocate for myself

Have gotten so good at turning things in early and made insane unprecedented steps towards freedom from perfectionism procrastination (only with assignments tho LOL) but still as someone who has been a Last Minute Essay Writer!! all my gay life... maybe the best thing ive ever done for myself

Unemployed :( But to be fair I'm in a different country

i think i do scroll less especially during term time bc i stay BUSY! didn't read as much i'd like to read when i wake up on weekends instead of scrolling i think :) but i just knocked out a book and a half in a week so i think STEPS ARE BEING MADE. THIS IS MY READING YEAAAAAR

I will continue to work on having confidence in my choices and thoughts rather than automatically assuming i am wrong. this is one of the things holding me in creative paralysis so i know this is a priority for me

So good at this now. reframing mindset for ever and ever and ever

Um What a freaky freaky freaky freaky freaky yeaaaaar!!!!! So crazy reading how well i thought i was doing last year when a week later i would have a breakdown that would change my entire fucking life lolll also i wasnt eating balanced food and exercising i had anorexia nervosa. JUST SHOWS how a person can SEEEM! okay but really theyre freaked up Makes u think... but U know what that doesn't negate my achievements from that year which DID set up some of my awesome achievements from this year. i think i have an entirely new look on life and i am genuinely excited to continue to learn and grow and mature. in 2025 i want to continue to work on recovery and break free from the fawking compulsions by challenging myself. i know what is best for me (getting out of my comfort zone) and i know this will make me happy.

yk what. i never made smaller new years resolutions just one big one so here are my small ones for the books

- start swimming once or twice a week again

- fix my sleep schedule (urgent)

- finish the thing im writing which is sucking up a lot of time

- write a new play

- publish some poetry

- write an article for the newspaper STOP being shy

- get over the Fear and book further therapy

- stop airing peoples messages

- pester my professors more

- turn in all my assignments at least one day before the deadline

- get a job. it can be tutoring if i cant find any but preferably something that requires working with other people and going outside

- scroll less. read and write more

- stop caring about what other people are doing. stop judging my life by other peoples standards. they are not me we are different entirely there is no crime in taking a different path in life

- stop stressing so much over mistakes and make an effort to a. always learn from them b. make better art because of them

[yamsgarden]

holy shit time flies...

[catlover4536]

Coming here to say masc presenting Julie is one of my favorite Julie ideas out there and that, of course, I needed to make a femme presenting Frank to compliment @cyanwyrmy and their wonderful Julie!