#I love the world building in MIA don't get me wrong but it is

[manikun]

I had a vision while napping

[obsessedfics]

Soft Rain: Gojo Satoru x Reader (SMUT! Mature/Explicit) Part 2

I want to first say I usually try to find a photo that fits the aesthetic of the story but this one was way too good to walk away from. Everyone enjoys this gem <3. Also, this fic because it's too damn long is split up into two parts. Part 1 is already up and is linked here. Highly recommend reading it first before this one so you don't get confused.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*Rating:Mature/Explicit (Sexual scenes)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*Summary: You are in a coffee shop one rainy day when a sad beautiful stranger enters. Slowly, you open up to each other in the warm confinement of the cafe. Little did you know that you would fall in love with this man, and he with you.

I wrote this from the perspective of seeing Satoru with his barriers down. No masks, no facades, just him when he's alone with his haunting thoughts. I wanted to give him a more human perspective and touch on some of the things that plague his mind. I know I have been MIA for quite some time, if you were someone who was waiting for this I am sorry! Life has been a rollercoaster recently but I am finally back to being in a place of stability. This is certainly a longer fic, so I hope you all enjoy it. As always feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*Word Count: 25k+

October: Halloween, Shibuya 

I know it’s Halloween, but does there have to be so many people outside?!

You began pushing your way through the crowds of people, ignoring the press of anxiety in your chest. All you needed to do was make it to the train station so you could go home, but it seemed as you got closer to the Shibuya Hikarie Building the throng of bodies got tighter. 

Ugh, maybe I should just find a hotel for the night. 

With a huff of air passing your lips, you make to turn around, but you hear something strange through your headphones.

Doubting yourself, you pull out one bud. 

“ Bring Satoru Gojo. ” 

Satoru… Gojo?  

People chanted these words over and over again, stretching down to the train tracks.

What the fuck is going on? 

Swallowing your anxiety, you begin pushing your way inside the building. The clusters of bodies became thicker. Their skin brushed yours as you continued to the center. You ignored the foreign touch, pushing your intrusive thoughts to the back of your mind.

Is it who I think it is? Or am I just being delusional?

Once inside, you couldn’t believe your eyes. 

There he was, hands in his pockets, hovering right in the middle of the building, staring straight down to the train tracks. 

“I can fly!”

Your eyes widened. Running to the edge while elbowing through sweaty bodies. You needed to be closer; to confirm what you are seeing. 

Is it him? Am I hallucinating right now? 

As soon as you’re at the edge, you call out his name, but the crowd drowns out your voice. You shout as loud as you can, but you might as well be whispering. The crowd's anxious chatter washes out your voice, rendering your desperate shouts useless.

Then he descends to the basement, a murderous aura following in his wake. 

An article from 2006 pops into your head.

Satoru Gojo, head of the Gojo Clan, pinnacle of the Jujutsu world.

Without a second thought, you break out in a sprint to the stairs. People stare at you in confusion, but you ignore them, shoving your way through their bodies. His words play in your mind, puzzle pieces falling into place.

“I am the strongest sorcerer of this generation.” “…my role is incredibly isolating.” 

Something is wrong. 

You run, taking two steps at a time, hand ghosting over the railing for support. You knew you were useless, and if he was in any trouble you wouldn’t be able to do anything. But you also couldn’t do nothing . Not when he was right in front of you, not when you spent weeks thinking about him. 

He lingered on your heart like a tattoo – permanent and painfully hard to get rid of. If you loved him, you didn’t know. But you do know your soul yearns to be with him.

Please be safe. I don’t give a shit how strong you are, don’t be stupid. 

Bursting through the doors of the basement floor, you’re met with a sea of bodies. You couldn’t see anything other than people dressed in Halloween costumes for miles. 

Cursing inwardly, you push past them, elbows out to your sides. Their bodies brush your skin, and you ignore your itching flesh. The only thing on your mind was getting to him, was seeing him. 

Sweat coated you from head to toe, you could hear a commotion up ahead, but you were still too far away. 

Your heart raced against your chest so hard, you were afraid it was going to burst. Faint screams filled your ears, but you ignored them. It was like you were possessed, the burn in your legs didn’t matter, the thin air in your lungs didn’t bother you, you just wanted him. 

People started pushing their way into the tracks as the screams became clearer and clearer. Then suddenly, they stopped.

Dead silence rang out. 

Huh? 

Bodies stop moving in an instant, but you don’t. You see Satoru move at a blinding speed. Blood splatters all around you, coating your skin in its warm, sticky substance. You don’t even have time to process anything. The world seems to be fast-forwarded, and you can’t comprehend the sight before you.

Then the area clears. 

He stops, breath heavy with blood on his cheek as he takes in the carnage along with a small box in front of him.

“Satoru–” 

“Gate open,”

The cube box opens, revealing its fleshy body with an eye that stares right at Satoru. He makes to move away but a man with long black hair and a stitched scar across his head steps into view, calling out warmly to him. 

You watch as Satoru freezes, disbelief in his wide blue eyes. 

He asks the theatrically dressed man who he is, anger and confusion dancing in his tone.

The moment the answer leaves the black-haired male's mouth, all air evaporates. The eye sticks to Satoru’s body, rendering him helpless.

Suguru Geto?  

Satoru’s words flash in your mind. 

“I haven’t talked to anyone about Suguru since it happened…” “No, but you could see it that way. He… Was like the other half of me. Someone I could trust. I knew with him, I could let go and be myself. I could breathe…” “He’s dead. It’s been a year,”

There’s no way. This is fucked. I need to do something, maybe a distraction–

Satoru’s eyes flash to you, only meeting yours for a second, but he makes it count by mouthing:

RUN.

You stagger back a step, foot catching on the rail as Satoru starts shouting at the other male – his dead best friend, asking who he is. 

Turning around, you move your leadened legs, each step feeling as if you were pulling a freight train. 

“My six eyes tell me… That you’re Suguru Geto. But my soul knows otherwise! Hurry up and answer!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!”

The anger and pain in his voice was so guttural, that it rattled your soul.

What the fuck is going on?! 

You cry silently, forcing your body to run away, even though everything in you told you to turn around. You knew you’d die if you did, so you kept moving through the tears. 

Dead deformed bodies were littered all around you with blood staining the tracks red. You had to force your eyes to the sky, afraid you’d vomit. 

He’s only subdued, sealed. Not dead. Not dead. 

Despite yourself, you return your eyes to the floor to search the dead bodies' faces, fearful that one of them will be his. 

You were panting when you reached the stairs, but you continued pressing on, only repeating one thing to yourself; 

Not dead. 

—

Shibuya was pandemonium. 

People, who you assumed were curse users, are fighting everywhere. You couldn’t see what exactly they were fighting, but you could feel it. The wrongness. 

Your mind was racing, you didn’t know what to do. Anxiety and bile crawled up your throat, as your body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. Your legs were numb and your heart was beating erratically. 

I need to get out of here.

Eyes scanning your surroundings, you move, aiming for downtown, away from the central fighting point. But when the edge becomes clearer, you see that people are frantically pressing against an invisible wall. 

A barrier of some sort–

“NANAMIIIII!”

This name is being shouted from the top of a tall building seemingly in the middle of the sector. 

Whoever is yelling has some lungs on them… I can’t get distracted, I have to move. 

Panic began bubbling up in your chest you ran as fast as you could, ducking into a small department store, immediately pulling down the metal guard gate and locking it. 

You pressed your back to the glass doors, head tilted to the ceiling, breaths heavy and uneven. 

Am I going to die here? 

You look down at your body. 

Blood covered you, staining your khakis and shirt. It clung to your skin and matted your hair. The feeling is disgustingly sticky and the smell of iron assaults your senses, nearly making you gag. 

Moving away from the doors, you explore the department store while your body shakes. You needed to move, otherwise countless strangers' dead faces would flash in your mind, making your only thought about their mixed blood covering you. 

It seemed as if you were the only person in the building, so you located the seat behind the front desk and sat down.

So many people died, and Satoru… He’s in a box. 

You felt so incredibly numb. 

You came to Shibuya to buy a few things from your favorite thrift store, but then this happened. Nothing made sense and you couldn’t wrap your head around why so many people passed out and you didn’t. 

Leaning back in your chair, you loosed a shuddering breath. 

“What the fuck.”

Then the world shook.

—

Megumi was on duty for the evacuation team after the Shibuya Incident. Gojo was sentenced to death and so was Principal Yaga, along with the reinstatement of Yuji’s execution. 

This is troublesome. 

He entered a department store on the edge of town, fully expecting no one to be present due to having to break the locked gate. 

“Hello, is anyone here?” He calls out, voice tired and raw from the night prior. His eyes disinterestedly scan the aisles, until something moves.

A woman, covered in dried blood from head to toe, steps out behind an aisle, hammer poised to attack him. Immediately he puts up his hands, summoning his cursed technique for protection. 

“I am not here to hurt you, just here to help you out of the disaster area,” Megumi spoke slowly, but the woman only tightened her hands around the handle of the weapon. 

“The name Satoru Gojo, what does it mean to you?” Her voice, soft and calm, asks him. There was no edge to it, despite the murderous intent of her body language.

“He’s my teacher.” 

What is wrong with this lady? Is she asking because she was forced to ask for him last night? But all that blood… There’s no way she was at the tracks, she wouldn’t be here if she were. 

The woman nodded once, then set down the hammer, approaching him with caution. 

“I am… I know him, in a way.” 

Oh no, not another one. 

“Last night, I followed him down to the basement. I am a normal person, so if he was fighting curses, I don’t know. But I saw him get put in this ancient box covered with eyes. The person who did it is Suguru Geto, but… I think someone is inhabiting his body. That’s all I know, I hope it helps.” 

The woman spoke clearly without any fear, but Megumi only became more confused. 

“There’s no way you would be here though. We’re still removing the unconscious bodies of civilians from the station. Why were you not affected?”

She simply shrugged her shoulders. 

“I don’t know, don’t ask me. The rest of Japan, is it safe?” 

The way she spoke caught him off guard. So matter-of-fact and clear, but her body shook. Clearly, she was disturbed but trying not to show it. 

She’s not a sorcerer, but she knows about Gojo’s significance. Were they close? Did he tell her everything? 

Megumi tried to remember if his teacher mentioned any non-sorcerer woman he was interested in, but nothing came to mind.

“For now, but the situation is unstable. There’s no telling what’s going to happen with that guy gone. We’re going to do everything we can to save him, but I am not sure if it’s possible.” He spoke honestly and the woman nodded, grabbing a piece of paper and writing something down on it. 

“This is my number. I’ll do my independent research. In a week, call me and we’ll check bases.”

With that, she gave him a warm smile and left. 

Who is she? 

November:19 Days After the Incident  

You were sitting on your couch, petting Noir anxiously when you got the call. 

Did it work?

Sliding the green answer button, you shakily pressed the device to your ear. 

“Miss L/N? This is Yuji Itadori. He’s free.” 

Thank god.  

“Thank you.”

The weight on your shoulders lifted and the anxiousness died. 

Not dead.

“I’ll let him know you helped us.” 

“Don’t worry about it, he’s out. That’s all that matters. Be safe.”

Hanging up the phone, you press your nose into Noir’s fur. Her soft warmth seeped into your chest as her purs tickled your skin, relaxing you. 

You cry softly, hugging her body close to yours. Knowing that this changed nothing, he still had so many painful troubles. But he is free, he is alive , and that’s all that matters to you. 

Regardless of what your place in his world is. 

—

“You said a civilian helped you guys expedite my release?”  

Is she safe? Was I distracting enough for them not to notice her presence? 

“Yes. Fushiguro found her and she relayed what she saw on the tracks during your fight.” Yuji explained brightly, even though his friend was now Sukuna’s vessel. 

There’s no way anyone saw what happened. No one except…

He shot out of his seat, surprising Yuji.

“What’s her name?”

“Huh? Oh, it’s Miss L/N? She said she knows you.” 

Satoru scrunched his brows. 

She never told me her last name. 

“Her first name, what is it?” 

Yuji looked at him as if he lost it but he didn’t care. 

“Y/n, I think?” 

He was already moving. 

“Eh? Where are you going?!” 

“I’ll be back!”

—

Rain fell heavily from the gray sky, but not a drop touched him.

She’s dead. You killed her, just like you did to Suguru. Your strength is a curse – not a gift. You’re cursed to be alone.

I am not my past. It does not define me. 

Running as fast as he could, he ignored the thoughts invading his mind, pushing them away with her shared mantra. Images of her body, bloodied and disfigured threatened his vision, but he blinked it away; refusing to let his fear control him. 

Soon he reached the familiar home that is tucked away from the noise of the city – a sanctuary. He hesitated, the familiar feeling of dread washing over him, making his legs leadened. 

Confirm her safety then leave. 

Taking a deep breath in, he forced himself to move, mentally putting in the effort to place one foot in front of the other, until he reached the door.

Satoru raised a shaky hand and knocked, but there was no answer. 

Fear crawled up his throat, making it hard to breathe. 

Please.

Swallowing his dry saliva, he twisted the door handle, surprised to find it unlocked. 

He closed his eyes and held his breath. If she wasn’t here, he would search all of Japan until he found her. 

He had until December… 

Stepping inside the house, the familiar scent of her flooded his senses, making his legs feel hollow. 

Be here, be safe . 

Slowly, he opened his eyes. 

There she was as if nothing happened. 

She had fallen asleep on the couch, the soft glow of golden lights kissing her skin as Noir curled against her body. They looked peaceful enough to make him sigh in relief. 

However, when he stepped closer, he saw the tear streaks on her cheeks.

That peaceful image shattered. 

Satoru moved closer, not trusting his eyes to tell him the truth. 

Noir woke first, big blue eyes recognizing him as she moved out of her owner's arms, careful to not wake her. The feline came up to him, nudging his shaking legs as if telling him to go to her. 

Why are you crying?

Holding his breath, he approached her sleeping figure. Anxiety swirled in his chest as he tried to make sense of his feelings. 

Should I turn around now? You’d be happier without me, right? 

Noir nudged him again, pulling him from his thoughts.

Biting his inner cheek, he crouched down so he was now eye level with her body. For a moment, he allowed himself to take in the sight in front of him. 

Soft even breaths kissed his cheeks and he watched the steady rise and fall of her chest. It deafened his thoughts, replacing them with overwhelming relief. 

She’s alive. This isn’t a dream.

“Y/n,” he called and she stirred. 

Satoru watched as she blinked away her sleep, eyes adjusting to her surroundings, confusion on her face until finally she looked his way.

Her lovely eyes met his, soft and kind – the eyes that made him feel seen . 

“Satoru?” she breathed, taking his face in her hands, eyes searching his as if confirming he was real. 

You’re alive. They seemed to whisper, relief swimming in her irises. 

He nodded, wrapping his hands around her wrists, and leaning into her warmth. His blood sang from the contact, tension ebbing out of his body. 

Her presence alone was enough to calm his soul. 

“You followed me, even though you knew it was dangerous.” 

He wasn’t sure if was breathing. His eyes scanned every inch of her body, checking for injury, any sign of pain, thankfully finding nothing. But it didn’t quell the anxiety in his chest. The uneasiness still pressed at his throat, stealing his breath, making it hard for him to think let alone speak.

His only worry when he was in the damned box was that she was alive. That she wasn’t split apart into a thousand unrecognizable pieces. Ash consumed by Sukuna's fire, or buried under the rubble, or worse…  

The woman smiled sadly as if she could read his every thought. Sitting up so she could fully face him, she gently rubbed the pads of her thumbs along his cheeks – an attempt to soothe him. He let himself fall to his knees, strength leaving his body. Her hair softly fell in a curtain around them as lightly calloused fingers played with the tips of his ears anxiously. 

Running his thumbs along the soft skin of her wrists, he took in her features. The serene allure was still there, but it was now mixed with something else – and it was far more beautiful. It’s something that existed only when she looked at him. 

“How could I not when you were all I could think about?” her answer finally came, cutting through the silence.

She traced his face in wonder and he shuddered under her touch.

“You could’ve died,” he whispered, fingers digging into the flesh of her wrists.

He’s seen people he’s cared about die. He killed his only best friend with his bare hands. However, it was different with her. All those people knew that they could die with every mission. But this woman, who had eyes that whispered soft serenity, and a smile that made his heart melt, if she died – he didn’t know if he could come back from it. 

“I know.” her words, a broken croak, pulled at his deep-rooted fear. 

He saw his reflection in her eyes. He looked like a desperate man praying to his God; wonder, awe, and disbelief tracing his features. 

“I wouldn’t have been able to protect you.” 

Satoru hated those words. Admitting that he was helpless, noticing her presence too late to save her from the sight of countless dead bodies. He let himself get consumed by his emotions, by the thrill of a good fight, to the point it rendered him useless. 

I’m useless. She could’ve died, and it would’ve been all my fault. It would have happened all over aga–

With fingers sinking into his skin, she forced him to meet her glass eyes.

“But you did, Satoru. I got away. I am alive because of you.” 

What? 

“While you were powerless, you saved me.” 

His eyes widened as her tears flowed down her cheeks onto his. Wet rain kissing his flesh, just like when they met. 

“I… Saved you? I don’t understand, I only told you to run.” 

She shook her head, taking his hand and placing it over her beating heart. Her warmth, raw and real beneath his fingertips, chased away his fear. With each beat of the muscle grounding him to reality, to her. 

Alive, breathing, real.

“I was frozen. If you hadn’t told me to run, I would’ve rushed to your side out of desperation. You saved me.” 

Her fingers tangled into his hair. The pads of her fingertips lovingly pressed into his scalp, easing his anxiety. 

“You. Saved. Me.” 

“When it mattered the most, I was unable to save those who I deeply cared for.”

I saved her?

The truth of her words clanged in his chest, stitching an old wound on his heart, stealing his breath away. 

Blinking, he met her eyes fully.

Run away. His mind whispered.

Let go of your fear. His heart screamed.

And like a man possessed, he grabbed her face, closing the gap between their bodies.

Desperately, he pressed his lips to hers. Salty tears coated his tongue and her hands fisted into his hair. The soft, warm press of her lips against his drove him mad, making him grab her body, pulling her closer to him. She fell to his lap, legs lightly wrapping around his waist as he deepened the kiss. He allowed his fingers to tangle in the strands of her silken hair, tongue pushing past her lips, drowning in everything that is her . 

Soft rose and sandalwood flooded his nose, the taste of bitter-sweet coffee caressed his mouth, muffled moans teased his ears, as her warmth, tranquil and serene, eased his body. Her tears continued to coat their flesh, and he was sure he was crying, too. 

For the first time in years, his heart felt light. At this moment, in her arms, he is just Satoru Gojo, nothing else.

It was then, it hit him. 

Pulling away from her, he breathed heavily. Saliva coated her swollen lips as she stared into him with eyes hazy and half-lidded. Soft, uneven breaths heated his skin as he ran his thumbs along the flesh of her cheeks. 

“I love you,” his voice came out as a quivering whisper. Because he knew this changed nothing between them. 

Foreign tears fell from his eyes, pooling at his chin. Y/n only smiled softly, thumbs lovingly wiping away his tears as he did the same to hers. 

“How long do we have?” 

Sweet lips kissed away his pain, cracking his heart.

“The end of December,” 

He traced her features, warm rain coating his skin as he began committing every detail of her to memory. 

A small whimper left her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck, still pressing soothing kisses to his heated cheeks. 

Allowing that last iron barrier around his heart to crumble, he buried his face into her neck, arms enclosing her torso, hugging her like a child. He cried into her, clinging onto her small body desperately as years of bottled-up emotions began washing over him. 

After Suguru, he never let anyone in, convinced that his strength would always push people away. That he would always be envied, seen as the strongest, never as himself. He drew a line without even knowing it. There was him, and there was everyone else. The touch of others had become so foreign to him, that he forgot what it was like to be embraced – to be loved without expectations. 

Here he was, in the arms of a woman who saw the ugliness of his world, the truth of his power, and still looked at him with the same amount of kindness that she did the first day they met. She didn’t falter or become enamored with him. Instead, she just saw him and accepted it without hesitation. 

She disregarded her well-being and did everything in her power to help him. The woman, who couldn’t stand the touch of others, pushed her way through hundreds of people for a chance to save him. It wasn’t to gain anything from him, it was purely to ensure he was alive, so her restless soul could be calmed. She didn’t broadcast her efforts, instead, she cried, silently and alone, relieved by the sole fact he was breathing. 

That’s all she wanted from him; she wanted him to live . 

“Thank you,” he croaked, words incoherent and muffled against her soft flesh. 

One hand rubbed his back, as her other stroked his hair. She pressed light kisses to his temple, whispering comforting safety. He wasn’t breathing, his breaths came out in heaves as his chest felt like it was caving in. He became putty in her hands, molding his body to her, needing all barriers between them to cease to exist. 

Overwhelming complex emotions continued rushing through him; relief, regret, jubilance, despondence, hope, fear, love…

He allowed these emotions to spill out of him, knowing that he was safe. He knew that with her, it was okay to be human. 

To be normal . 

—

Satoru’s body, for all its power, trembles beneath your fingertips. He’s on his knees, silently crying into your arms as you soothe his mind. 

“It’s okay.” 

Soft whispers against his skin as your lips pepper his temple. 

Your tears, though feeling like an endless well, slowly stop as his scent comforts you. Fresh summer rain, bright and soothing, coaxes your soul; calming your heart. 

I love you. 

His broken confession swirled in your mind, making your heart sing in both joy and despair. You wanted to return his feelings, but they got stuck in your throat, refusing to spill from your lips. 

Taking his face in your hands, you met his beautiful eyes. Like the clearest sapphires, they peered at you, almost sparkling as his tears coated his long eyelashes. 

Ever-so-gently, you wipe away his pain. He smiled sadly at you, turning his cheek to kiss your palm. 

“I need you to listen to me,” you whisper and he nods, hands finding your waist, rubbing soft circles into the fabric of your shirt. 

Closing your eyes, you let yourself breathe, focusing solely on the rhythmic motion of his fingers and the feeling of his blush-kissed cheeks in your palms. 

Taking a deep breath in, you open your eyes, finding your resolve. 

“I am not delusional enough to think that I could ever live comfortably in your world. I am also not clueless. I know whatever is going on, you play an important enough role in it that they tried to take you out of the fight.” 

His eyes searched yours as you tried to formulate a sentence under his raw, naked gaze. 

“But?”

It’s really unfair how beautiful you are. 

Inhaling sharply you continue.

“But, I would also be stupid to let you go. I don’t care if it’s selfish, and whatever time I am granted to be with you, so be it…”  

Pausing, you place a hand on his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat – reminding yourself that he is alive. That this is real. 

You’re alive. I won’t let you walk away a second time. 

“It’s worth it, you’re worth it. And you can try to hide behind the strong nonchalant exterior, but I see right through it. I see you, Satoru. I accept you, invisible scars and all. Let’s heal our hearts together.”

Satoru smiled. A real smile. One that is unpracticed, and it is just for you. 

“I could get hurt, you know that don’t you?” some confidence returned to his wavering voice as his hands slowly traveled up your waist, distracting you from his words. 

“Of course. But if I can handle watching you get put into a fleshy eyeball box by the source of your trauma, I can handle you getting hurt.” 

Scoffing lightly, you run your fingers through his hair, pushing the strands back from his face, fully taking in his lovely features. 

“What if I lose my ability to walk?” he asks sweetly, nuzzling his nose against yours as his hands travel to your bare arms. They ghost over your skin, causing goosebumps to follow in his wake. 

“Apparently, you can fly. I suppose if you’re too lazy I can push you around in a wheelchair.” 

You run your hands along the length of his chest to his shoulders, feeling the muscle beneath the fitted black t-shirt. 

“Hmm, and what if my handsome face gets ruined?” the man mused, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. 

You were wearing a shirt, but the contact made you jump. You felt him chuckle against you as his hands found your back, fingers dancing up your spine. 

“Well, I recall you telling me that you got stabbed square in that pretty face of yours. As it turns out, you’re still very handsome. So while I think the likelihood of someone harming you to the point you are forever maimed is low, I will still love you regardless.” 

Running your hands down the length of his arms, you watched as your words settled over him. Then realization sparkled in his eyes as he searched your face for answers, almost as if he didn’t believe the words he just heard. 

“Sorry, could you repeat that last part for me? I was a bit distracted.” 

Familiar playfulness kissed his tone as his hands cupped your neck, forcing you to hold his stare. 

“Which part? The one where I said I think someone scarring you is not very likely?” batting your eyelashes innocently, you smile. 

“No no, the good part. Where you said you’re in love with me.” 

One hand came to caress your cheek. Long fingers tangled themselves into the strands of your hair, tickling your scalp as your pores drank in his warmth. 

“Hm, did I say that? I don’t think that’s what I said.” making a show of biting your bottom lip, you looked elsewhere, pretending to think. 

Satoru’s thumb tugged your bottom lip from your teeth, causing you to quickly snap your eyes to his. His lips are pursed into a soft pout as he looks at you expectantly. 

“Just once, let me hear you say it.” his words are a soft plea as his fingers dug further into your skin.

Not fair.

Smiling, you bring your knees to the carpet, raising your body so you can take his face in your hands. You feel him shudder under your touch as his eyes never leave yours, desperation consuming his features. 

“I love you, Satoru Gojo.” 

With those words, the last dark wisp of fear that clutched your heart disappeared in his light.

His lips met yours, hard and fast, all desperation pressing into your body. Your surprised gasp gets swallowed by him as his tongue reclaimed your mouth, filling you with the taste of him; sweet with the undertone of green tea. 

His tongue danced with yours, swirling and teasing, relaxing you further into the intoxicating taunt of his muscle. Warm, calloused hands pressed into your cheeks, angling your head so he could further capture your lips. His kiss is passionate and smooth, making your stomach flutter with butterflies as anticipation travels down your spine. 

Satoru pulls your tongue deeper into his mouth, sucking on the flesh. You gasp lightly, taking his upper lip between your teeth, slowly running them down the plump skin. He lets out a heavy sigh, and you take the opportunity to return his gift, sucking diligently on his swollen muscle.

Feeling him smile into the kiss, he runs his hands down your arms, to your waist, making you shiver. Fire slowly starts to coat your veins, turning the kiss hungrier – there was a need that wasn’t there previously. 

The tips of his fingers dipped under the hem of your shirt, brushing against the bare skin of your back. The light touch made you whimper, body tingling where he made contact with your flesh.

Losing yourself in him, you take his bottom lip between your teeth, biting playfully as you run your hands over his muscled chest. The feeling of him, perfectly soft and firm, beneath your fingers felt heavenly. Satoru let a satisfied groan escape his lips, which you hungrily swallowed, kissing him harder. 

Desire replaced innocence as you sank your hips, pleased to find his hardened length brushing your growing need. Satoru sharply bit your lower lip, a shaky breath escaping him as you let your full weight settle on him, enjoying the slightest bit of release it gave you. 

Pulling away from the lull of his lips, you meet his heated stare. You both were breathing heavily and Satoru looked too good. 

His eyes, though normally bright and alive with brilliant blue, were nearly black due to his dilated pupils. They gazed at you, hazy and half-lidded as his eyelashes fluttered softly against his deeply flushed cheeks. His lips are red and swollen, glistening with your mixed saliva. 

The sight alone made your core throb, sending a delicious chill throughout your body. 

Satoru removed his hand from your waist to grip your face, squeezing lightly as his thumb traced your lower lip. The way he was looking at you made your knees weak. No man had ever looked at you this way. Not only was it blatant desire, but there was a predatory feel to it, with the undertone of unwavering need . 

“If you keep kissing me like that, I won’t be able to stop,” he warned, voice low and gravelly. The words traveled straight to the apex of your thighs as he pressed his thumb harder against your swollen lip. 

“Who said I want you to stop?” 

Holding his stare, you take that thumb between your lips, pressing your teeth down on the pad, swirling your tongue on the bit of flesh. Satoru inhales sharply as the hand holding your waist tightens – a clear attempt to control himself.

You see your reflection in his eyes, the same primal desire looks back at you. 

“Are you sure?” though he asks, his hand is already moving to the hem of your shirt, waiting for you to confirm what he already knows. 

“You getting cold feet?” you tease, dipping your hand between your bodies, ghosting your fingers over his abdomen. 

You were itching to touch him, to taste him, but you were also going to have fun. 

He smirks, slipping his fingers under your shirt, and swirling a gentle finger around your navel. The feeling makes your muscles jerk as fire trails where he touches you. You refuse to let any of that show, only returning his smirk, dragging a nail over his muscled stomach, and taking his tiny little black shirt with you. 

“With you,” he pauses, voice a hushed whisper while he splays his palm flat on your stomach, fingertips just barely pressing under the lining of your bra. 

“I would never. Besides ,” dragging out the last word dangerously slow, he pushes his length up into you, placing the hand that held your face on the back of your thigh, making you moan. The quick relief jolts through you, but disappears quickly, leaving you wanting more.

Bringing his lips so close to your ear that his hot breath tickles your skin, he whispers,

“ You’re the one who’s trembling. ”

Cocky bastard. 

Smiling, you slowly run your lips over the expanse of his neck, lightly licking it with the very tip of your tongue. You feel him shudder beneath you as he breathes heavily in your ear. Licking the shell of his ear, you take the lobe between your teeth as you wrap your hand around the hem of his shirt. 

“Hm, I must be cold. Why don’t you warm me up ?” 

Giving your ear an appreciative nip, Satoru sighs satisfactorily. The deep sound traveled south, making you place your lips to his neck to hide your noise. 

“ Gladly .” 

He began pressing slow, hot, wet kisses to the supple flesh of your neck. He trailed his way down to your collarbone as his hands, re-finding the hem of your shirt, tugged at the fabric playfully. The tips of his soft hair tickled your cheek, heightening your sensitivity to his touch. 

“You know,” his words are a soft murmur against your skin, but you catch them, humming in response as you run your fingers over the dips of his well-sculpted back.  

“I read that the fastest way to warm the body up is when two people are naked. Why don’t we test it out, hm?” 

Pressing a kiss between the juncture of his neck and shoulder, you smile into his skin.

“I could learn a survival tactic,” 

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you press another kiss to his neck. 

“Or two,” 

Licking your way to his ear, you whisper. 

“ Or three. ” 

At your words, Satoru swiftly captures your lips as his hands go to grip the backs of your thighs. Before you knew it he was on his feet, kissing you feverishly while making his way to your room. He shuts the door with one foot, making you laugh against his lips. 

Your body comes in contact with your mattress, but you hardly register it as Satoru grinds his erection into you, greedily swallowing the moan he stole from your throat. Your hands find the hem of his shirt, and you tug as your signal. Satoru groans into you, but pulls back at your command, removing his hungry lips to allow you to expose him. 

“This is too tiny, I think I should remove it, don’t you?” 

Satoru held your smile, spreading his arms wide as you came up to your knees, pulling the thin fabric off his body, revealing the masterpiece beneath. 

Sinewy muscle covered the entire length of his torso. His skin, pale and kissed a soft pink, covered various dips and ripples that you wanted to rake your nails down. You drank him in, from the power of his biceps to the dip of his defined adonis belt, mouth growing dry as you thought about what lurks beneath his concealing white pants. 

Selfishly, you ran your hands along his body. Starting from his chest you worked your way down to his navel, relishing in the warm feeling of his soft, smooth skin. Satoru tilted his head back, sighing as you continued to marvel at his beauty, tracing every outline of his hard work, memorizing each detail of him as he trembled beneath your touch. 

“You really are like a painting, you know,” you murmur in awe and wonder. 

It baffled you that you could even remotely hold this man’s interest, let alone be the one on the receiving end of his love. The thought made your heart squeeze, encouraging you to place a kiss to his bare chest, right above his pounding heart. 

His hand ran down the length of your hair, as his other came to cup your face. He lovingly stared into your eyes, all the desire of earlier there, but they now gazed at you softly. 

“You’re so beautiful, Y/n.” 

The sincerity of his words makes you smile like an idiot. You bury your face in his chest, listening to the sound of his low laugh. Lovely butterflies tickle your stomach as you lace your hands around his neck. 

Slowly, he makes you meet his eyes. You’re both grinning like children, but he had a devilish hint to his. 

“Why hide that smile from me?” pouting, he brings his face close to yours, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

Laughing lightly while leaning into his sweet gesture, you nuzzle your nose into his soft hair. 

“Because you make me happy.” the answer is honest and you press a kiss on his head. 

He hums into you as his hands find your shirt, playfully pulling it up to your neck, but not over your head. He blocks the fabric from leaving your skin as he trails feather-light kisses along your jaw. 

“Do I? Why’s that?” 

His words are soft against your skin, tickling you, making it hard to think. 

“I–” 

Pulling back from his lips, you meet his eyes. 

“I used to think that people who fell in love quickly were idiots blinded by rose-colored glasses.” biting your lip, you consider if you should continue. Satoru catches your hesitation and lightly rubs your lower back, silently encouraging you. 

Let go of your fear.

“But now I know, there is never a ‘right time’ to fall in love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single moment. You make me happy because you could’ve had anyone else in this world, and you chose me. The average girl who you met in a coffee shop on a rainy day. You make me feel seen Satoru. I don’t have to pretend with you.” 

Satoru smiles, bright and alive. His hands come up to your cheeks, cupping them gently as he holds your gaze. 

“Before you, I was convinced that I would live my life alone. That I would never find someone who would ever make me feel whole again. But… You are my sunlight, which I stand in, warmed and seen.” 

With your heart feeling like it’s going to burst out of your chest, you press your lips to his. 

“You see me so poetically,” those words, which he had once said to you, leave your lips in a soft murmur. 

His laugh tickles your lips as he lightly shakes his head, thumbs rubbing your heated cheeks. Satoru deepens the kiss, tongue sweeping past your barriers, sweetly dancing with your own. You melt into him, leaving every worry behind you. 

Slowly, he guides your body to the mattress. You feel his warm stomach press against yours as he settles himself between your clothed hips. He doesn’t do anything except kiss you. 

It’s a slow, passionate kiss. One full of love and appreciation, conveying emotions that words fail to capture. Your whole body felt alive, attuned with every breath, moving with each rise and fall of his chest, reacting flawlessly to the press of his lips. Your blood sang, electrified by his touch, eager to desperately drink him in. 

Satoru’s hands move from your face to the crumpled fabric of your shirt, removing his lips from yours momentarily to rid your neck of the cloth. The music of the kiss changes – now singing a more sensuous tune. 

You feel his thick member throb against your thigh as his hands run down the lengths of your arms, fingers enclosing your wrists. He moves his lips from yours to your cheek, kissing his way to your sensitive ear. Then he licks behind the shell, making you audibly gasp as he brings your hands over your head, holding them down with one hand as his other trails the side of your waist. 

Shivering beneath his explorative touch, you clench and unclench your hands, trying to ground yourself to reality. With each brush of his fingers, your muscles flinch, pure excitement and anticipation coursing through your touch-starved veins. 

“You’re so responsive~” he coos hotly into your ear. You shift under him, hoping to find relief in the friction, but he removes his lower body from yours. The movement makes you pout, but it opens the space for his hand to ghost over your bare stomach. 

Wet lips kiss their way down your neck down to the length of your collarbone. You bite your lower lip when he runs his teeth lightly against the bone. Your body jumps at the new feeling, earning yourself his chuckle as his hand dips under the band of your bra, brushing your left breast ever-so-lightly. 

Long fingers slowly make their way behind your back, easily unclasping the concealing material to only partially remove it from your breasts. He pushes the fabric up to your chest as his lips trail your sternum. His hair brushes against your breasts, and you clench your hands, nails biting into the flesh of your palms. The sensation not only tickles you, but it shocks your hyper-sensitive nerves. 

You meet Satoru’s eyes. He’s drinking in your every reaction, a smirk on his lips as he watches you squirm beneath him. Readying to say a smart remark, you begin to push back on his hand, but he trails his tongue to your nipple – effectively replacing the words in your throat with a shaky sigh. 

Satoru swirls his tongue around your rosey bud, slowly and expertly warming your breast with his mouth. He takes more of the plump flesh into his mouth, sucking diligently as he lets his teeth graze the sensitive peak. You gasp at the feeling, and he groans in response. Each of his intoxicating movements goes straight to that firey pit in your stomach, which only grows hungrier at his touch. 

“Mm, Satoru,” you moan breathlessly as he takes your nipple between his teeth, applying the right amount of pressure to the bud as his free hand comes to work your unattended breast. 

He hums into your skin, sending delicious shivers down your spine as you close your eyes, losing yourself to the lull of his lips. Long nimble fingers work your breast harmonously with his mouth. They roll, pinch, and tease you as his tongue flicks and swirls. You mewl lightly as he switches breasts, giving the same treatment to your other that he gave the first. 

“So beautiful,” he murmurs into your skin, biting into the flesh of your breast, causing you to yelp in surprise.

You open your eyes, meeting his intense blue. He’s smiling against your skin as he ghosts his lips over your ribs, tongue trailing the outline of your tattoo. Your body shivers under him, eager for more as his head dips lower, closer to where you want him the most. 

“You’re the beautiful one,” the words come out as a sigh as he presses a kiss to your hip, right above the band of your sweatpants. 

“Hm,” he hums, trailing an elegant finger from your sternum to your navel, dipping the digit under the band. 

Satoru makes a show of kissing his way across your stomach, from one hip to the other, soft strands of his hair tickling you along the way. 

You squirm under him, wishing desperately to touch his hair. Longing to run your fingers through it, to ground yourself to this reality. He senses it, too. Because he gives you a knowing smile as he dips his hand under your pants, just barely brushing the top of your pelvis. 

“Getting impatient, Y/n?” he asks playfully as he takes his finger, lightly tugging a corner of your pants, exposing more of your hip to his tempting mouth. 

“I want to touch you,” finding some confidence, you push against his restraining hand, silently cursing his immeasurable strength. 

“Let’s see,” Satoru pauses, places his head on your thigh softly, then looks up at you innocently. The pressure is dizzying. So you count your breaths to stay alert, to not close your eyes and lose yourself in his presence. 

“I’ll release your hands as long as you stay still, can you do that for me, baby?” 

There was a mischievous look in his eyes, one that made your throat dry and had you clenching your thigh muscles. 

“Y-Yes?” 

You couldn’t hide your confusion, but he only smiled at the sight. His hand released your wrists and you immediately moved to shake out the numbness of your arms. 

“May I?”

His fingers dance around the edge of your sweats, eyes patiently awaiting your response. 

Eagerly, you nod your head. 

Satoru, still with his devilish smile, removed your sweatpants from your body. He then slid off the bed, dropping to his knees as he dragged your body to the edge. You rose yourself up on your elbows, not hiding your want from him. But also, you took in the sight – Satoru Gojo, half naked, and on his knees for you. 

His hands spread your knees for him, opening your legs wide. You, though still clothed in only your underwear, feel the air hit your heat. It was then you noticed how wet you were, and you know he noticed it too. 

Gently placing your legs over his shoulders, Satoru places a slow kiss on your calf. You watch as he drags his wet lips up your leg, pressing kisses to your tender skin. The higher he goes, the more sensitive you become, finding it increasingly difficult to not shift as muscle-jerking tingles hit you. 

Your hands find the soft strands of his hair as he reaches your inner thigh, now dangerously close to your need. You feel his breath kiss your heated skin, forcing you to clench his hair so you don’t move. Smiling, he presses his lips to the crease between your thigh and pussy making you sharply inhale. You cross your toes as the shiver runs through you, leaving goosebumps in its wake. 

“You’re already so wet for me,” Satoru hums appreciatively, then he places a kiss on your clothed mound. 

You barely have time to register the feeling, because he licks a zig-zag stripe up your heat, stopping just before meeting your clit. He moans into you as your taste lightly coats his tongue. The vibration makes you squeeze your eyes shut as you moan softly, bringing your hand up to your mouth, and biting down on your pointer finger. 

“Mmph!” 

Your yelp gets muffled into your skin as Satoru lays his tongue flat against your entrance, pressing his hot mouth against you, then drags it up . 

The brief pleasure of him brushing your clit has you trembling. He doesn’t stop till he reaches your navel, tongue dipping into the crevice, swirling around the sensitive skin only to retrace its path down, stopping just above your throbbing clit. His tongue moves left and right lazily, and his saliva coats the cloth of your underwear, intensifying the feeling, but it’s incomplete. 

“Ah, Toru’ – please.” your desperate plea fumbles out of your mouth as saliva begins traveling down your chin. You want – no, you need him on you, without any barriers. 

“Use your words for me pretty girl~” his words are hot and heavy against you, making you moan. And just for emphasis, he gives your needy clit a light flick of his tongue, making you bite your finger harder. 

He knows what you want, but he wants to hear you beg for it. 

“Please,” you breathe, unable to think. 

His hands join the party now. One goes to remove your finger from your mouth as his other presses his thumb to your entrance, goading you as his tongue continues to just barely flick your bundle of nerves. 

“Please what?” he encourages, intertwining his fingers with yours. 

“I-I want you,” 

You weren’t sure what you wanted exactly. Part of you wanted him to make you see stars with that dangerous tongue of his, but the other half wanted to know exactly how full you’d feel with him in you. 

He laughs lightly against you, planting a kiss on your clit as his thumb pushes past your panties, entering your dripping entrance. All air leaves your lungs as he wraps his mouth against your clothed clit, licking while sucking you as his thumb gently pumps your walls. 

A broken string of curses leaves your lips as pleasurable fire dances down your legs. The sudden relief leaves your thoughts tangled and incomplete. It’s sweet and taunting, but you’re stuck, muscle taunt, and breath uneven as you try to keep your body still, unable to fully lose yourself to the pleasure. 

“S-Satoru,” you throatily moan his name. He groans into you, fingers gripping yours harder as he replaces his thumb with two long fingers, curling them up into you. 

Oh fuck. 

“Ah, shit just like that,” 

You tilt your head back, enjoying the way his calloused fingers feel against your velvet walls. Again and again, his digits just barely brush against that spongey spot in you, heightening the feeling of his ministrations against your clit. 

“Deeper,” you plead, needing him to hit your spot. 

Slowly, you open your eyes to see him smirk at you. Then, at your request, he pushes his fingers further into you while curling them up. Your eyes roll back as the new feeling courses through you. 

“Like that baby?” he asks, though he knows the answer. 

“Mm, yes, fuck just like that,” you answer, barely able to think straight. Your feet start to become unbearably hot as your stomach tightens. Your whole body trembles from both pleasure and restraint, and your leash on yourself is slowly slipping. Your back arches as he continues working you, eliciting obscene noises from you. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” he praises and you bite your throaty moan back. 

Pressing your palm flat against his scalp, you push his head further into you. Taking your silent plea, he releases your hand to push your soaked panties to the side, tongue finally coming into contact with your bare skin. The intense feeling crashes upon you and you lose control of your limbs. You lock his head into place as you dig your fingers into his hair, grinding yourself against his tongue. His fingers match your unhinged pace and he moans into you, sending sweet vibrations down your clit to that growing bomb in your stomach. 

You feel your walls tightening as your high threatens to crash over you. Your moans are now strangled and incoherent as everything now feels so good . Finally, you open your eyes, daring to see the sight in front of you. 

Satoru’s lovely eyes burn right through you, heated desire evident on his features. The sight of him, on his knees, between your legs, giving you his devout attention, has you shaking uncontrollably. 

“Be a good girl and come for me, Y/n.” 

His words are your undoing. 

You come violently around his fingers, moaning his name like a prayer, walls clenching and unclenching as your body trembles sweetly. Satoru smiles up at you, removing his fingers from you only to replace them with his tongue. 

Bringing those two glistening fingers to your mouth he commands: 

“Suck,” then his tongue is back into your entrance, fucking you with the stiff muscle.

And so you do, wrapping your mouth around his fingers, whimpering as you suck diligently all while your orgasm rips through you. 

He swipes his nose against your hyper-sensitive bud as he laps you up, tongue swirling and curling inside you. You cry out helplessly, fisting your hands in the sheets as your stomach jerks. The pleasure is numbingly good, but it’s too much. 

“S-Satoru– Ah sto– Jesus fucking Christ,” The last part of your broken sentence comes out in English, which grabs the man's attention. Amused blue eyes peer up at you, taking in the sight of the mess he created. His lips glisten with you and they’re pulled into that familiar smirk. You couldn’t help but think he was beautiful, like that of a fallen angel.

He removes himself from your heat, finally taking your ruined panties off your body as you close your eyes, breathing hard and unevenly. You try to collect yourself, but the after-effects of your orgasm still linger in your veins, stealing your attention. 

But you are far from satiated, if anything, it left you wanting more . 

Blindly, you reach out for his body. Your fingers find his biceps and you tentatively run your hands down his smooth skin, despite the tingle in your fingertips. Satoru plants a sweet kiss on your cheek, then your temple, then your forehead, until he’s placed kisses around your entire face, leaving you with light giggles. His weight returns to your body, and you’re happy to feel his bare legs brush against your own. 

“Feel good, baby?” he mumbles dreamily into your skin, still placing soft kisses on your sensitive skin. 

Smiling as you trace the outline of his tricep, you open your eyes to find him looking at you sweetly. The sight makes your heart lurch. So you return his kisses, pressing your lips to his heated skin, tasting yourself on his flesh.

“I think,” whispering, you bring a shaky hand to his chin, wiping away some of your desire. 

“This speaks for itself. But,” 

Kissing the corner of his mouth, you run your other hand down his abdomen, nails lightly digging into every dip and ridge of his defined muscles. 

“But?” he hums, and you feel his lips pull into a smile. 

Your hand travels south till it reaches his length. You take the girthy member in your hand and pump him once, relishing in the way it jumps in your palm as Satoru inhales sharply. 

“I want to taste you, too.” 

With your hand that held his chin, you turn his face to you, capturing his lips. Your desire coats your tongue as his muscle dances with yours. You slowly pump his throbbing member, thumb swiping over the tip, coating his soft skin with a bead of precum. Satoru steals your tongue, sucking on your muscle while groaning. 

Hooking your legs around his, you flip your bodies so you are now on top of him. You pull back from the kiss to admire the sight. Soft white eyelashes flutter against his red cheeks as you continue pumping his cock. 

You watch as his throat bobs up and down and he licks his lips. The image added fuel to your growing fire, filling you with determination to not only please the man before you, but to make him as much of a whimpering mess as he made you. 

A playful smirk tugs at your lips as you place a kiss on his neck. You continue working his shaft, focusing mostly on the head, but with only enough pressure to move his skin, but not to truly stimulate him. Your lips travel south, your tongue joining the mix as you admire his body, ensuring to greedily trace the skin where your mouth doesn’t explore. Satoru shifts under you, slowly growing more impatient as lick your way down the line that separates his abs. 

You hold his stare, watching as his eyebrows knit together the closer you get to his cock. 

Giving the male a knowing smile, you pull his shaft back, allowing yourself the space to flatten your tongue on his pelvis. You feel the light prickle of his growing pubic hair as you drag your muscle to his hip bone, tracing the outline of it with the tip, enjoying the way his body shivers under you. 

Goosebumps pepper Satoru’s skin as his hands find your arms, rubbing them lightly. Smiling, you press your lips to the crease of his thigh, then lick the skin beneath. You feel Satoru’s thigh muscle tense and you chuckle, applying more pressure to the tip, earning yourself a low groan.

“So responsive~” you tease him with his own words, pressing your thumb to his tip, admiring the way his desire coats your skin. 

Bringing your face close to his need, you breathe lightly onto his heated skin, knowing full well what the light sensation did to him. You watch as his eyes roll back slightly, his large hands now wrapping around your biceps as he shudders. 

“Say,” 

Pausing, you swirl your tongue around him once, then flick the head lightly. Satoru half moans, half chokes from the sudden sensation. But you pull back completely, returning to your taunting hand movement. 

“Tell me what you want,” you whisper seductively, licking your way up from his base to the tip, this time allowing yourself to taste him. The salty yet sweet taste coats the very tip of your tongue, and you moan appreciatively. 

Satoru tilts his head back and bites his lip. You feel his hands tremble, noticing his restraint. 

“Your mouth. Now .” 

You click your tongue. 

“Here?” 

Pressing a kiss to his thigh, you feel his cock jump in your hand. You knew you were playing a dangerous game, but you were also drunk off of the sheer power you held over this man. Who’s body is sculpted like that of a Greek god and holds the title of the strongest, yet yields to you.

“Y/n,” he warns, voice low and strained. His hands now move to your hair, tangling themselves in your strands, pulling lightly. 

I like it when you say my name. 

“Ah, you’re right. Here?” 

Pushing his skin up so that his precum leaks out, you press a slow open-mouthed kiss to the tip, licking your way across the bulk of the head. You continue this exact motion, pumping him just as slowly as you were kissing him. Satoru watches you intently, hands shaking in your hair as you hold his gaze. 

“More,” he urges desperately, bucking his hips up to go deeper into your mouth. You relent, but only for an inch. 

Removing your hand entirely, you rub the sides of his thighs as you slowly suck that inch of his cock, swirling your tongue at the tip with every motion. You watch Satoru go mad, both hating and loving your tease. There was desperation in his eyes along with restraint, and you took advantage of that. 

As soon as he knew exactly how well you could take it, well, the game would be over. 

“As much of me as you can Y/n,” Satoru is breathing heavily, hands still in your hair but he doesn’t force himself in your mouth. Instead, he holds fast, letting you continue your slow torture. 

You hum around him, allowing half of his cock into your mouth, the tip now reaching the back of your throat. His eyes roll back as you suck a little harder, but not any faster. You bring one hand to cup his balls, gently massaging them as you work his shaft. A soft moan leaves Satoru’s lips as it goes to your core, urging you to forget your game and give him your all. But he’s not near the point where you were when he finally gave in, and that alone makes you hold out. 

Continuing to softly hum into him, you start to add slurping noises to your song. Satoru’s eyes roll shut and a small whimper leaves him. 

“Can you take more of me, baby?” his fingers massage your scalp, feeling the slow bob of your head. 

Oh, you think you're too big, do you? 

With an inward smile, you let your thickened saliva dribble down to his base, then you quickly take all of him in. You hollow out your cheeks and relax your throat, letting his impressive length travel down your esophagus till your nose is touching his stomach. 

“S-Shit–” Satoru curses, strong hands holding your head in place for a moment. Once he releases his grip, you return to your previous position on his shaft, sucking his member slowly. 

His eyes shoot open, looking at you with both shock and confusion. You flutter your eyelashes sweetly as you continue your torturing pace. Satoru sucks in the air between his teeth, the realization of you not being as innocent as he may have thought settling over him. 

“Please,” he breathes heavily, eyes transfixed on the base of his cock where your mouth was just moments before. You could hear the desperation in his voice, and it was delicious . 

Taking him out of your mouth with a satisfying ‘ pop ’ , you stick out your tongue, slapping his cock against it. His eyes turn dark at the sight as his mouth falls slightly open, a satisfied smirk pulled on his wet lips.

“Please what, baby? What do you want? Don’t be shy.” 

You trace the outline of his red tip with your lips, eyes never leaving his. His throat bobs as he considers his words, clearly, he still views you as fragile, and you have every intention of breaking that image. 

“Please let me fuck that dirty little mouth of yours,”

You smirk, planting a kiss on his head, and then you hop off the bed, taking him with you. Satoru silently follows your lead, eyes raking your frame as yours watch the way his member stands proudly against his stomach. Angry red and glistening with your saliva. 

Sending your confused lover a wink, you get back on the bed, laying on your back, hanging your head over the edge. 

You now have a full good view of his perfect body. You hungrily look at his length, happy to find that it has a light curve. You clench your legs together at the thought of him in you, and Satoru smiles. He spreads your clenched legs while his other grabs his shaft, giving it a pump before he slaps it against your lips. 

“Open up baby,” 

At his command, you open your lips, making a show of stretching your neck and sticking out your tongue. Satoru leans forward, bracing himself with one hand as his other guides his cock into your mouth. He slowly pushes himself down your throat, giving you a moment to adjust to his thickness. At this angle, your throat is tighter and it's harder to breathe, but that’s what you wanted. 

He begins moving his hips. His start is slow, allowing your saliva to coat him. You take the time to find the right position, hands going to cup his ass for the support you knew you were going to need. Then, just like you thought, Satoru moves. His hips snap forward with just enough force to push himself down your restricted throat, but not enough to crush your nose. You moan into his skin, happily hollowing out your cheeks, slurping and choking on him. 

“God you’re so fucking perfect,” he moans while his free hand goes to massage your clit. 

Rough fingers work your sensitive bundle of nerves, moving the soft skin with each thrust of his skillfully controlled hips. Your tongue moves with him, licking and wrapping around what it can. You begin to lose yourself in his soft moans, enjoying them as the air in your lungs becomes thinner and thinner. 

It gets increasingly hard to breathe and you love it, sucking down what bit of air you can in between each of his thrusts. Your mouth pools with your thick saliva and it trails down your chin, spilling onto your neck, but you pay it no mind. You simply angle your head further, digging your fingers into his ass to give him better access to your abused throat. 

His hand moves to your entrance, two fingers plunging into you, fucking you at his relentless pace. Satoru's palm rubs against your harden clit and tears prick your eyes. Strangled moans fight to come out of your throat between his movements as abrupt pleasure courses through you, motivating you to please him further. 

Satoru’s thrusts become more erratic and you begin to feel the base of his cock twitch in your mouth, prompting you to moan around him. You send sweet vibrations down his cock, and he curses under his breath, fingers in your pussy delving deeper, brushing that spot, making your stomach tighten. 

“Fuck,” groaning, Satoru thrusts himself deep into your throat, pausing entirely as thick ribbons of his seed shoot down your pipe. His fingers that pleased you move to your throat as he feels himself come in you. You hold still, licking him with your tongue until he readies himself to slowly pull out of your mouth. 

Turning so your belly is flat against the mattress, you start to swallow his seed, ensuring your gulp is audible so he hears you. He watches you with a smile on his face, hand coming to cup your cheek, thumb sweeping over your near-bruised lips. 

You take note of his cock, still very erect against his chiseled stomach.

“You’re full of surprises, Y/n.” 

Your name left his lips in a breathless pant, and it was enough to make your walls clench. 

Satoru smiles down at you, dropping to his knees so he can capture your lips. The kiss is tender and soft, and it sends butterflies fluttering in your stomach. 

“You hurtin’ at all?” he asks between each press of his lips. You smile into the kiss, playfully nibbling his lower lip. 

“Not at all, I could do that again.”  

He chuckles, shaking his head as his hands run down the length of your spine. The touch is light with no intention other than feeling your skin. Satoru pulls back from the kiss to press his soft lips to your forehead. 

“We can stop here if you want.” his voice is full of practiced calm. 

His hand runs down your hair, soothing your mind all while your body is still burning with desire. 

It had been so long since you had shared a kiss, let alone your bed with someone. The touch of others felt so invasive until Satoru. You would be damned if you let him go now. 

“Satoru, you’re not going to hurt me.” 

Nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck, you sigh. You knew he had insecurities, and you know it’s only amplified by you being entirely, well, human. But you want to ease his worries, in every way you possibly could. 

“You don’t know that, Y/n.” 

Pulling back, you force him to hold your stare. 

“Our time is short. I don’t want to live my life with regrets. I want you, Satoru, in all senses of the word.” 

You lovingly hold his face, thumbs gently sweeping over your cheeks like he had done for you. The quiet tender gesture lingers between you as your breaths intertwine. You see him considering your words in those knowing blue eyes, ever-calculating and so full of thought. 

“Promise me you’ll tell me if I hurt you.” 

A laugh almost escaped your lips. The serious look on his face would make anyone stop cold, but it only made you smile. 

“I promise. But you won’t hurt me, I trust you.” 

At those words, Satoru captures your lips, tongue sweetly passing through your lips, immediately claiming yours for his own. Tentative hands explore your body, fingers lightly brushing over your sensitive skin, making you shiver. Moving to tangle your fingers in his hair, you run your teeth along the expanse of his tongue, smiling at the groan that leaves his lips. 

Satoru’s hands guide your body up as he stands, his lips never leaving yours even as he presses your back to the mattress. Gentle hands spread your legs for him and you hiss. The feeling of cool air hits your wet need followed by the feeling of Satoru’s still slick member rubbing up against you. His warmth shocks you and he smiles at the gasp that escapes your lips. He pulls back from the kiss to meet your eyes. 

Primal desire stares back at you.

You can’t help but let your eyes travel south, watching as he rubs himself against your slickness, hand on the base of his cock. His tip just barely brushes your clit and you moan, feeling your walls immediately clench at the swift pleasure. 

“You want this dick, Y/n?” Satoru’s gravelly voice asks as he slaps his cock against your clit. 

Dear lord help me. 

“Y-Yes,” you half breathe, half moan out. 

“Look at me,” 

You do as commanded, tearing your eyes away from his impressive length to find his heated gaze. 

“Use your words,” 

He rewards you with another slap to your clit and you moan, the brief relief making your toes curl. Mindlessly, you run your hands down his arms, raking your nails down his triceps as you try to formulate words. 

“Please fuck me,” you watch his face, eyes full of hope, but he only clicks his tongue and shakes his head, prodding your entrance. His taunt is maddening, and you try to shift your hips down, but a strong hand holds you in place. 

“You can do better princess. Tell me exactly how you want me,” he smirks down at you, tip still just barely pushing at your entrance, all promise of everything you want. 

Biting your lip, you swallow your pride. 

“I want you to fuck me so hard that every time I sit down I can only think of you.”

A small breath leaves his lips and he smiles, shaking his head. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting that answer. 

“So full of surprises,” 

“Surprised are you–”

Before you could finish your sentence he pushes himself into you, stealing all the air from your lungs. 

His thick length pushes past the first ring, and the feeling is so sickeningly sweet. Relief floods your veins as he fills you, your walls stretching to accommodate and hug his member, pulling him further into you. 

“Holy shit,” you sigh, digging your nails into his arms as you spread your legs wider, giving him all of you. 

“God, Y/n, you’re so fucking tight even after all that.” his voice is strained as he grabs your right thigh, fingers digging into the plush of your skin as he bottoms out in your pussy, holding completely still, allowing you to adjust. 

You feel your walls clench and unclench happily, he stretches and fills you so well it is dizzying. You press kisses to his sculpted chest, a silent plea for him to move. He picks up on your hint well, slowly pulling his hips back to only push them back into you. Even a heartbeat of him not being in you made you feel so incomplete, the way his body fit with yours was almost too perfect. 

“Fuck Satoru,” you moan closing your eyes, letting your head fall back, focusing solely on the blissful feeling of him. 

His hips keep a steady slow pace, allowing your bodies the chance to adjust to one another. Satoru shifts your leg to prop it over his shoulder, making him go just a little bit deeper into you, pulling a throaty moan from you. 

“Hold onto something baby,” he warns and you barely register his words, hands enclosing his wrists as he picks up his pace, pulling his cock out of you to the tip to snap it back into you.  

“Oh my fucking God,” your eyes snap open as you watch Satoru rail your pussy. Your breasts bounce at his pace and you moan loudly, unable to hold back your noises. 

“Your pussy feels so fucking good, Y/n.” he praises breathily and you moan, happy for the praise. 

“Mmph– Fuck so do yo– ahh” your sentence is broken, unable to speak due to the dizzying speed of his powerful thrusts. 

Each snap of his hips is expertly controlled. He angles himself up so he doesn’t hit your cervix as he ensures not to fully crush your body. One hand holds your thigh in a fixed position as his other holds your hip, moving your body with his seamlessly. Heavy breasts bounce against your chest as your body feels electric, alive, and taught; like you’re walking on a live wire. Pleasure kisses your nerves, promising new, but terrifying heights. 

“Open your mouth,” Satoru’s strained voice commands, and your pussy pulses in response. 

Swallowing thickly you open your mouth, sticking your tongue out for dramatic flare, trying desperately to keep your eyes open. Satoru smiles at the sight, leaning over you further, then spits in your mouth. Your mixed taste coats your tongue and you whimper as his thumb goes to circle your clit. 

“Hold it in your mouth till I tell you to swallow princess. Can you do that for me?” your stomach tightens at the sensation of his thumb, but it’s almost faint due to the overwhelming pleasure his cock brings you. 

Feeling entirely submissive and breedable you nod your head, your saliva already beginning to build in your mouth.

“Good girl. Now, on your knees.” 

Satoru completely releases your body, allowing you to flip over and get on all fours. A whimper leaves your lips due to the loss of him, but you shake your ass for him. The action earns you a slap to your ass, his fingers dig into your plump skin as he shakes the flesh for himself, and you curse, feeling your desire drip down your inner thighs. 

You feel his nimble finger trail your wet slit, and he whistles. Then, his mouth is on your ass, tongue circling your tight ring. Strong hands shake your ass as he continues to lick and probe your hole, making your legs shake. The feeling is entirely new, and it feels good. Not as good as when he eats your pussy, but it's enough to have your walls clenching and clit throbbing. 

The spit in your mouth begins to push out of the corners of your lips as you try to hold your moans back. Your hands are fisted in the sheets as Satoru trails his way to your dripping entrance, tongue dragging down till his licking your sensitive clit. As if it wasn’t enough, his thumb pushes into your tight asshole, pumping the well-lubricated hole. 

I am not going to survive this man.

“Swallow baby, let me hear you.” 

You gratefully swallow your combined spit, moaning loudly as your first breath leaves your lips. 

“Satoru fuck me please,” you plead, feeling so empty it’s maddening. Now that you’ve gotten a taste, you were certain your body wouldn’t grant you release unless he was in you. 

You feel his head pull away from your pussy as his fingers enter you, just barely scratching your itch. It was laughable to compare the feeling of his fingers to his cock – it wasn’t nearly enough. 

“Like this baby?” his thumb still plays with your asshole as he curls and pumps his fingers in you. Your thoughts are tangled, and words are hard to push out of your throat, getting caught in the thick layer of saliva coating your mouth.

“I want… Your cock. Please, please, please, I–” tears pricked your eyes, you were overstimulated. 

Closing your eyes you took deep breaths, feeling as he pulled his fingers out of you to only wrap his hand around your hair, pulling your neck up. His tip pokes your throbbing entrance as his heavy breath kisses your ear. 

“You want me, Y/n?” the heavy seductive words makes your spine tingle.

“I want all of you, Satoru.” though you tried to force your voice to sound normal, the words came out in a quiver. 

“Good,” 

Then he was in you, cock plunging deep within your velvet walls, stoking the burning fire in your stomach. You arch your back, mewling harshly at the abrupt feeling of him filling you. 

“You feel so good, fuck.” Satoru kisses your shoulder, pulling his hips back to then fill you back up, thick member stretching you too fucking good. 

With his hand still wrapped around your hair, he pushes your neck down so your face is pressed against the mattress. You open your eyes, face rubbing against the bed, and watch the man above you. His head is tilted back, bottom lip between his teeth as he works to make you both feel good – hips rolling into yours, enjoying the feeling of your walls sucking him back in. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you moan softly, completely entranced. 

Satoru smiles, eyes opening and he pushes strands of your hair away from your sticky forehead.

“All you baby girl,” he pushes himself further into you, angling himself up, completely hitting that spot. 

“Oh fuck!” you curse, letting the brief pulse of intense pleasure run through you.

“You like that baby?” knowing full well what he’s doing, Satoru grabs your hips, hitting your spot again, making your muscles jerk. 

“Ah– Yes!” words were lost to you as white-hot pleasurable fire ran through your veins, making your entire body shake. 

“Who’s pussy is this?” Satoru grunts, thrusts becoming more erratic. 

“I– Mmph, yours!” with eyes rolling to the back of your head, you focus on your core, feeling your high threaten to crash over you.

“That’s right, Y/n.” fingers dig into the flesh of your ass “You’re. Mine.” he declares between powerful thrusts, still ensuring to hit that spongey spot, making your vision blot with white. 

“I– I am so fucking close, Satoru,” the words are a cry and you feel your whole body become taught, preparing itself for its inevitable crash to earth.

“Come on my cock baby. Let me make you feel good.” 

And as if the word was law, your body did as he asked. 

Your second orgasm ripped through you, pulling a scream from your throat. It’s dizzying, disorienting, and far too intense. Your body spasms uncontrollably as electrifying pleasure coursed through you, making your toes curl. You try to run away, but you are locked into place by Satoru's strong hands. With each pulse of your orgasm, your walls clench and grip Satrou’s cock, dragging him to earth with you. He ensures to thrust harmoniously to the rhythm of your pulses as thick ribbons of his cum mix with your own, filling up your belly. 

With breath heavy and uneven, you both fall to your mattress. Sartoru's sweaty body presses against your back as he rubs your arms all while pressing kisses to your temple. Your body shook as you came down from your high, thighs jerking with each breath and light movement from the male still plunged within you. 

“You feeling okay, beautiful?” his words are a soft whisper against your skin. 

Eyes still close, you nod. The intense pleasure left you light-headed and unable to speak. So instead, you angle your head and capture your lover’s lips. Soft and sweet, and entirely loving. Satoru smiles against your lips, hands lightly rubbing your sides. 

“Let's turn over so I can hold you, yeah?" his words tickle your lips, making you smile. You let him move your body with effortless ease. 

The male holds you close to his chest as he wraps his arms around your small frame, enveloping you in his radiating warmth. His strong heartbeat sounds in his chest, and you listen to it in earnest, thankful for the fact that he is alive. 

You stay like that for a moment, listening to the sound of him while he kisses your skin, both being silently thankful for the other.  

“I love you, Y/n,” Satoru whispers into your hair, lips still pressed to your scalp. 

With a child-like smile, you peer up at him. Brillant blue peers into your soul, calling to you, to your bond, and your heart sings in response. 

“And I love you, Satoru. My heart is yours.” his eyes fold kindly, just like that first night in your kitchen. 

“And mine is yours. You’ve healed me.” 

—

You spent what little time you had left with Satoru, soaking up every minute, second, and hour. You both decided it was pointless to dwell on the unknown, so instead you enjoyed each moment that you were allotted. Sharing stories of your adventures, travels, and struggles. You healed each other, in ways that one would think impossible. You renewed each other's souls, in turn binding yourselves together. 

“You know, that day we met, I think my heart knew before I did that I needed you.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I didn’t even know you, but seeing you was enough to wash away every ounce of my pain. My body moved before I could think. So I dropped the lamest pick-up line ever known to mankind.”

“Haha, yeah. But it worked out didn’t it?”

“That it did. You are my greatest treasure, Y/n. I love you.”

“I love you too, please come back to me safely.” 

Satoru smirked, all of his bravado pulled into every atom of his existence. 

“Don’t worry, I am the strongest. I can’t leave my fiance all alone now can I?” 

“No, you can’t.”

“See? So don’t worry about me, baby.”

With that, the lovely male plants a passionate kiss on your lips, and then walks away.

[thevirgodoll]

Doll Diaries: 10 Ways to Begin Living the Doll Life.

To introduce my brand and my mission, I have created the first guide on how to Live the Doll Life.

This is the first of many posts to build around what a Doll means.

This is a compilation of all of my advice from past posts, my values and things I recommend aspiring to. It's an initiation of some sorts, and will be a sneak peek to what my website and Patreon will entail. This covers who you want to be (your ideal self), who you are right now (your current self), your measure of confidence and value (your worth), and your reality of who you are (your traits and individuality).

Welcome to the Dollhouse!!!

A huge part of what made me choose "Doll" as a brand is the movie, Life Size (2000).

In Life Size, Eve stood up for what was right, was ambitious, and learned how to honor her feelings as a real person. I highly recommend giving it a watch (I haven't seen the second movie, only referencing the first) to really get a feel of the energy I want to cultivate and embody. Now, let's get into it!

1. Embrace everything you already are.

Just because you are in a pursuit of becoming someone new does not mean you have to discard the things that make you who you are. Embracing who you already are and who you were is key to building self confidence. Who you are now is worthy of love and gratitude.

Ask yourself:

What can I forgive myself for?

What are my current strengths and weaknesses?

How can I show myself gratitude today?

2. Love people and speak life into them.

A true Doll does not engage in taking other women down. The biggest issue in today's world is that negativity has become a hot commodity. It is so insidious once it gets started, and it has been normalized to tear other people down in shady, subtle comments. These things bear no fruit. Understand now that talking badly about people and hating them only increases their sun.

What makes the difference between a Doll and another person is that everything she says has a purpose. Before speaking ask yourself:

Is this necessary? Is this true?

What do I gain from saying this?

Would I want to hear this?

These questions will make you distinguish between feelings and facts. You may not even know why you don't like someone at first, but asking yourself critical questions will teach you to see things from a different perspective. Most of the time, this has taught me to keep certain things to myself! If you don't know what you feel yet, the best thing to do is be quiet. It really is true that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. ***There are obviously exceptions to the rule, such as emotional abuse, bullying, etc. Defend yourself. Just don't be the one to be a catalyst to someone's downfall.

3. Be a student of life.

In this Dollhouse, we are eager to learn!!! If you want to lead others, you have to be willing to admit that you can be wrong. Even though Dolls are well adored and well educated, we aren't always right. Well, a lot of the time I am, but that's not the point!

Ask yourself:

What is this trying to teach me? What can I take away from this?

When was the last time I opened my mind to something new?

What could I have done differently? If I am resistant to feedback or change in this present moment, why?

4. Take pride in your appearance.

We aren't perfect...but we might as well be the closest thing to it. Make the decision now that you want to look your best every day. This doesn't mean wearing a full face of makeup 24/7, but this does mean being put together. A Doll should never leave the house without looking presentable, and if this is difficult, it's time for a change! Remember in The Princess Diaries when Mia got a makeover to become a princess? She looked like a completely different person and all it took was a new routine in beauty maintenance.

Obviously, you don't have to go to the extremes like she did. There's nothing wrong with glasses, thick curly hair, or thick eyebrows. It's all about making those things cohesive, which is the point of the makeover. I suggest you go on Pinterest or other platforms to find inspiration for what you want to look like. Create a routine around looking your best for YOU...only you know what flatters you the most.

Ask yourself:

What do I feel when I look in the mirror?

What influences me? What does a Doll look like to me?

What would a physical change do for me right now? And why am I doing it?

5. Have people in your life that align with you.

Friends can inspire us, or derail us. It is extremely hard as you get older to sustain friendships because once you leave grade school, there aren't any commonalities keeping you around people you know. Sometimes, we hang onto people longer than we need to.

A verse from the Bible that I often keep in mind regarding friends is Proverbs 12:26:

The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Ask yourself:

Would I take advice from this person? Why or why not?

What are the pros and cons of having this person around? How do I feel after hanging out with them?

What do they do for me? Is this reciprocal or transactional?

Is this person bringing me closer to or further away from my dreams, goals, and aspirations? Do they value what I value?

During conflict, how has this friend treated me? Do I trust them? Can I go to them when I need them?

As far as relationships, that is different for everyone but the questions are relatively the same. Some people stop their entire journey towards becoming the woman of their dreams because of love. Guard your heart!!!

Ask yourself:

Does this person align with my beliefs and values? Have I vetted them to see what type of person they are?

How does this person take care of themselves spiritually, mentally, and physically?

What is their story? Is this person aware of that story (whether it's with family, exes, friends, etc.)?

What can they offer me that I cannot give to myself?

Why do I want to be with this person?

6. Truly begin to believe you ARE 1 of 1.

Everyone is different, especially you. Your energy is highly sought after, all you have to do is acknowledge that. In order to live this lifestyle, you gotta appreciate differences in people around you so you can avoid guilting yourself into assimilation/conformity.

Individuality is everything... don't trade that for the approval of others. Social media has revealed how much originality women lack... so be a breath of fresh air. Think of this as Miley Stewart becoming her alter ego, Hannah Montana. The best way to see the new you is a alter ego. Celebrities have used alter egos to embody a side of them that is full of tenacity and candor...basically what they wish they could be. Real life examples are: Sasha Fierce (Beyoncé), Roman (Nicki Minaj).

The arc of an alter ego comes full circle. At some point in the Hannah Montana franchise, Miley came to terms that she lacked nothing in being who she really was because the star power was already in her. Therefore, she let her go and embodied those qualities in herself as "Miley". After hard work it will be the same for you, and you will appreciate who you are even more and not have to separate the two.

Ask yourself:

Who am I? What makes me special?

What do I love most about myself?

What is my signature and aesthetic?

What are the qualities of my alter ego/archetype?

7. Be a woman of substance.

It's useless to work towards being an it girl if you have nothing to talk about. So many women have star quality on the outside, but they are surface level and it prevents them from being seen positively and it takes away their chance of being an it girl.

Learn about current events. Learn about past events. Learn about events that are yet to come, and form an opinion.

You have Google at your disposal, so there's really no excuse to be lazy. Find your passion...most people are empty because they don't do anything they love. Be well versed in multiple topics. I know we say beauty and brains, but it really is hard to come by these days. Most people do not read anymore, nor do they take the time out to learn things themselves.

When it comes to school, that counts as substance as well if you're actually taking classes you're getting something out of (which is a whole other post). I would be remiss if I did not mention that education isn't for everyone. But for those of you that are going to college or are in college like me, this is one of the most important stages of your life. You're on the cusp of greatness. Life happens, but no matter what, we gotta get that degree no matter how long it takes.

Ask yourself:

What's going on in the world right now?

When is the last time I read a book or did something educational?

What are my hobbies? What are my habits? How do these things speak to my intelligence and who I am?

What are the things I want out of my education and what are my goals for this upcoming semester?

8. Dedicate time to your healing.

Just because everything looks perfect, doesn’t mean it will always be that way. This journey towards being that girl will not get rid of your need to heal.

Healing is a rugged path that one must travel their entire life...your journey in becoming the person of your dreams never ends. Give yourself grace on things that you didn't know before.

As always, I recommend journaling to understand your thought process. Sometimes, I look back at my entries in my diary and realize that things weren't as bad as they seemed. Sometimes, though, they were...and for my healing process it became crucial to (when I have the capacity) revisit the moments that shaped my perspective.

I know everyone says this, but there no shame in getting help. No amount of Doll Diaries I give you or confidence lessons/advice from others will matter if you are ignoring what fills your heart with dread at night. Like Megan thee Stallion says, bad b*tches have bad days too.

I am in therapy and I take medications for my mental illnesses, and that made all the difference. Tips are in my mental health tag.

I recommend a spiritual routine that works for you. This may include meditating, praying, going to church, taking quiet time...it's all up to you, but it gives me purpose and structure when feeling existential.

Dedicate life to something bigger than yourself. Remain on the path by upkeeping discipline. Outside influences can lead you astray, but you are the difference between stumbling and getting up, and stumbling and remaining flat on your face. This will involve giving up certain things, such as music or shows or even people that push you further away from what you believe in.

Lastly, have a list of coping mechanisms that you review in crisis. Often, things get overwhelming and we won’t get the chance to sit down and journal or go read something. With that, it’s helpful to make a list of things that you know will help you cope and survive no matter what (while acknowledging the absence of these means you’re getting bad again.)

Here is a very small portion of my list:

cleaning my space

spending time with my dog

playing video games

writing, drawing, music

Ask yourself:

When's the last time I had a break without feeling guilty or lazy?

What positive practices do I have in place to keep me stable? What negative practices do I have in place that prevent me from being stable?

How am I currently working towards improving my mental state? What do I know about myself mentally and spiritually, and how can I use that to transcend?

9. Learn the art of detachment.

People talk about being unbothered, but I don't think everyone truly understands what that means. In this Dollhouse, unbothered does not mean being nonchalant and void of all emotions. Feelings are natural, and I am not sure where someone mixed that up. What creates "unbothered" energy and "detachment" is by realizing you cannot control everything and that majority of the time, it isn't personal. This is one of the hardest lessons out there.

Ask yourself:

Is this really in my control?

How can I focus on the present moment?

And ultimately, remember you cannot fix or please anyone. Keep your composure even in the face of negativity. Your reactions and perceptions to everything you deal with is the most important thing, and will be the common denominator when it comes down to your experiences. Two books I read that changed my perspective and helped me maintain this lifestyle on this was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty.

10. Above all, live in YOUR world!!!

Make your world exclusive. Keep certain things for yourself so it retains sacredness. Be your own best friend before anyone else. Learn to embrace your own company. Don't always be accessible. Cultivate richness in your life...be willing to take risks and have a variety of experiences.

The main and most important question to ask yourself is: What does my dream world look like?

This is where the Doll Life comes into play. Barbie was marketed as being an all around sweetheart and "girl boss" with the dream life. Bratz were marketed as having individuality and a dream world experience driven by passion.

Both have core values in making sure young girls dreamed big and remained authentic. Honorable mention: Disney, as they did a great job at emphasizing dreams can come true with Disney princesses.

What I want my version of a Doll Life to be marketed as is a world where we indulge in endless possibilities and be multiple versions of ourselves at once. Where we feel like something wonderful could happen, even in the midst of trials.

We can be gentle, yet demanding. We can be feminine with masculine energy, and vice versa. We don't have to choose between one aesthetic or the other. We don't have to conform to the world, because we are in it and not of it. Dolls are seen as "perfect", and that's just the thing, I don't want my brand to be a cookie cutter definition! That's why I say I am the Doll that no one can play with. To be a Doll means to be uniquely you and standing out amongst the rest. It's a mindset, it's a lifestyle.

Don't box yourself in... remember growing up the dream life of Bratz and Barbie refused to box themselves in and remained true to themselves. Live without limits!!! Dreams really can come true. And this Dollhouse is a safe space to DREAM!!!

Even if you don't believe it now, day by day, if you start dedicating yourself to this and remain congruent with your philosophy, you will be more than you could ever imagine. It took so much time for me to do this, but my life is forever changed. So indulge in your wishes, and create your own "life of luxury" or "dream world". Simply live by YOUR rules, and use mine as a outline to get started. I can't wait to see what all of you come up with. I hope this helps Dolls!!! *gives you the keys to your suite in the dollhouse* Proud of you!!!

xoxo,

thevirgodoll ♡

see also:

confidence tag

other doll diaries

advice

[disneyanddisneyships]

@gyubby99

The Prophecy Of Imortal Fire 3

"You what?!" Elias practically yelled. "He Stabbed me!" "Yeah like 10 years ago! Give or take! Why would he lie now?! Listen, I've met his father. Not a nice guy, and not easy to beat in a fight. Even if Alistar was doing this for his father, he wouldn't have any chance against him in combat!" Ella argued. "Ella... he almost killed you! He kidnapped children, and your father.... he killed me for a hot second! He called you names, gave you trauma, hurt you! Broke you! How can you trust that?" Elias asked. "I don't! I don't trust him as far as I can throw him, but right now we don't have a choice!" Ella answered. Eli looked over at Alistar, glaring before his eyes softened. He sighed. "Fine. He can't wield a sword with a broken arm anyways," he muttered. "Youd.. be surprised...." Alistar replied, earning some looks from the group. "Oh.. god, no! I learned my lesson! Besides i-...." alistar trailed off as he glanced at Ella and Eli's kids in the other room. "I wouldn't take a parent from their kids," he muttered. "No, but you'd take a kid from her parents," Loreley spat. "... I'm sorry," Alistar spoke. Eli scoffed. "Dont say it to us," he muttered, glancing at Ella. Alistar looked down, embarrassed. Eli rolled his eyes. "Coward," he muttered before walking out of the building. Everyone followed. Except for Ella. Ella hesitated. "We were friends you know...." she stated. ".. I know," Alistar replied. "What in the world happened to you after we stopped contacting one another that day?" Ella asked. "Too much to fit into one conversation....." He whispered before looking at her. "I'm sorry. What I did was selfish, and wrong, and shitty. You didn't deserve that.... and fucking hell you are NOT fat. You never have been. And if I could go back in time, calling you that would be the first thing I changed," Alistar ranted. Ella kept a distance between the two. "I did what I did because I was in love with you....but my father taught me that love was weak.... and seeing you choose someone over me... broke me... and it reinstated the fact that love was weakness.... so I thought I could marry you by force..... but i..... I shouldn't have thought that," Alistar stated, tears brimming his eyes again. "Alistar.. I wasn't in love with you. You were my friend.... how could you have possibly thought that doing what you did would change that?" Ella asked, crossing her arms. "I don't know," his voice cracked. "I don't know what I was thinking.... I just made choices and i...... God I regret every single one," Alistar muttered. "I'm not gonna ask for your forgiveness.. cause I realize its too late.... but please.... don't let my mistakes create a leeway for my father to come in and Destroy the life You've built," Alistar stated. Ella stood there for a few moments before walking closer to him and hugging him. "I can't forgive what youve done.... not yet at least..... but.... I believe in the fact that you're telling the truth," Ella sighed. Alistar let out a breath. "Thank you...... I'm so so sorry.... I-I didnt..... I shouldn't've..... I'm sorry," he all but whispered as he tried not to cry.

........ The group as a whole stood in the dining area, a giant map on the table. "So if we can destroy his forces from the inside, we can possibly win... but how are we gonna get in?" Loreley asked. "Theres a passageway through the dungeons. I found it when I was 10 when he locked me in my cell after breaking a vase. I made it myself from a small hole in the wall," Alistar replied, pointing the area out to the group. Mia glanced at him. "How many times did he put you down there for you to make an entire crawlspace?" She asked. Alistar raised an eyebrow as he calculated. "Uh.... maybe 5 times a week. 2 if I stayed out of trouble," He answered. The group looked at him. ".. what?" He asked. "Okay, so we'll go through there. Do you have armor?" Ella asked, turning to alistar. "No. Just this," he stated as he gestured to his shirt and pants. "Hm okay. Elias will fir you for some armor later," Ella stated. "What so he can stab me with it?" Eli asked. "Elias," Ella scolded. Eli sighed. "Fine. We'll do it now so I can get it over with. Cmon," Alistar gulped as he followed Eli outside.

"Lose the shirt," Eli stated as he picked up some already made armor. "P-pardon?" Alistar asked. "The armor won't fit right if your measurements aren't correct and your shirt is too baggy," Elias stated, an unamused look on his face. "O-okay but can't we just-" "Oh my god do you want me to help or not?" Eli asked, clearly frustrated. Alistar sighed. Eli rolled his eyes, turning to grab a measuring stick. His eyes widened at the sight of all the scared on Alistar's back and chest, blending into smaller ones on his arms. "Woah.... what... happened?" Eli asked, almost forgetting what alistar did. Almost. Alistar sighed as he hung his shirt over a chair in the hut. "After my mom died, my dad thought waking me up by having people whip me was a wonderful idea... and when he and I dueled, he would stab me," Alistar replied. Elias' eyebrows furrowed. "You're really messed up, aren't you?" Eli asked. Alistar chuckled. "Yeah... I am...." Eli gave a small genuine smile before walking to work on Alistar's armor.

[6okuto]

HI THIS IS THE ANON WHO SAID SHE LOVED UR POST AND i just realised u also write for cove holden ilysm do u have any romance visual novel recs?? so far i've only done cove's one & two demo ones (a celtic mythology one whose name i cannot remember & touchstarved the loml)

have the bestest day and thNk u

was the celtic one the good people (na daoine maithe) because i played that one too 👩🏻‍💻🫶 RLLY GOOD in typical nia fashion when my Type type isn't there i'm going 4 keagan and flannan

i saw u say error 143 in ur other ask UR REAL!!! ofc i must recommend blooming panic if u haven't played. xyx and toasty r genuinely just. Funny. i rlly liked toasty's va they did a great job. FIRST TIME I HEARD HIS LAUGH I WAS LIKE WOAH. i rlly liked how nightowl's route went w. Anger. u don't see it a lot and i appreciate it i was like WOWWW? AT ME? he's real. robo has answered a Lot of asks on tumblr so u can get loads of content after u finish!

https://gbpatch.itch.io/our-life-nf ... :) No words. Demo. i will build the audience for the 2nd game myself.

DEMO obscura is also vry good,, i haven't played in a Long time but i keep up w reading tumblr asks abt the LIs LOL. love the art and vibes. he isn't my type but iirc cirrus offers a rlly interesting dark romance route + aftercare/safe word system :)

DEMO online @ the perfect time is just,, i love the vibes and concept so far I LOVE WHEN CHARAS R FUNNY. HAVE MY HUMOR. rlly excited to see where it goes it's quite short so far BUT I WANT PPL TO PAY ATTENTION 4 THE FUTURE. PLEASE!

cryptid coffeehouse IS SOOO CUTE I LOVE ARTEMIS ☹️☹️ queer slowburn coffee shop romance BE SERIOUS no one fucking TALKS ABOUT MY ARTEMIS. WHY. so so many cute moments i was kicking my feet and giggling like WOWW

3 seasons is also VRY vry cute i don't usually play games w an mc visual but ivy is so pretty so IDC!!! u can play all the routes pretty easily they're all lovely like... it isn't super often i come out liking all the LIs pretty much on the same lvl. mamma mia!

....the persona 5 vn. IMCRYING I'm so fucking serious like. the characterization is REAL it's super well made. i'd like to say u could enjoy without playing p5 but um. probably not to the full extent. i played out of principle as a p5 enjoyer and for goro bc he's one of summer's fav charas ever and his route was so awesome actually. Epic Major Spoilers obvi. akira slayed also (my good ending completionist side..☹️)i won't say much abt him bc i'll ramble on and on but summer after finding out i had a crush on him yrs ago was like Yeah that makes a lot of sense he is so loz link.. like man

$30 gilded shadows (free demo) which i need to play again I WAS SUPPOSED TO FINISH ARI'S ROUTE MONTHS AGO rika said he was so my type and i trust them fundamentally. caissa my beloved. like the world building + charas it's just,, well done y'know

$12 when the night comes haven't played but rika rlly likes it so i'm putting it here anyways. LOL

NOT VNs. they are IFs...like there's Literally no visuals. read in browser. but i stand by the night market (1st book finished!) which i've rb'ed a bit + speaker . both fantasy,, love both casts i love everything they're doing i'm genuinely so so excited to see where they go!!! PLEASE!!!

YANDERE DEMOS separated for if they aren't ur thing which is obvi Valid. i erm. went down a bit of a rabbit hole. pls read their warnings! always read game warnings. but like. ok anyways

DEMO 14 days with you yeah. ren. i like when mc notes that smth is Off abt him. lots of asks answered on the tumblr! I can fix him.

DEMO something's wrong with sunny day jack jesus Christ . some of the best vn va work i have ever come across like Genuinely wtf. and the concept is rlly cool. was put off for a long time bc of.. jack's appearance.. sowwy. but wow it is just. really well done.

bitter/sweet blythe orange masc blythe va ?? did such a good job?? like srsly what. sorry wow that's the main thing i just rlly wanted to applaud them a bit. also I LOVE THE PARTIAL OST??? i want it so bad i was humming it for a couple hours after like

DEMO our dollhouse I'm so serious when i say i didn't realize it was for yanjam so when i came to my own realization of Oh Shit He's Sus and checked i was like FUCKCKDJ 😭😭 OBVIOUSLY... but srsly love the art and i'm excited to see how mc figures it out and what happens. did a good job at making a pretty Understandably oblivious(??) mc. like yeah i can see why u wouldn't expect him.

DEMO favor Z Intrigues Me. had to try so hard for the secret ending but now i am more intrigued like OKAYYY WHAT HAPPENED BROTHER 🤨 i like the tail animation also. also when u say u like possession horrors woah hey. hey. pal

[bobapplesimblr]

Mother nature and my biology are kicking my ass right now so I will be slightly MIA for a while (not that ive been very actively posting stuff, but ill be even less active for the next few days or so)

I have things planned for today, but for the next few hours I think i'm just gonna sit in CAS and make silly little sims for my save file

Also I am *dreading* building in the bigger worlds. Don't get me wrong, I love building, but my motivation and inspiration for it is um... pretty much gone.

Still, hopefully I'll have enough energy to do something good soon

See yall later!!

[innerpeacesanctum]

How to Get Rid of Negative Energy

So you have negative energy, and you want to find a way to get rid of it? Signs of stored negative energy are

Affected Mood. You have mood swing after mood swing and it seems like it's never-ending. Most of the time, you will wake up in a bad mood for no reason at all and you wonder what could be making you feel like this. It's negative energy!

Physical Symptoms. You are continuously hurting and aching, and you may live on ibuprofen. It's nothing serious, you are just surrounded by negative energy.

Sleep Problems. You are either not sleeping at all, having broken sleep patterns or you sleep way too much. Nightmares, very weird dreams and sleep paralysis can occur too.

Relationships. All of this can affect your relationships whether it's your partner, your friends, your coworkers, your kids.

     In my experience, I have had all of this happen to me. Sometimes it can be serious and take it's toll on your life. There are times where I've walked out on a job without a word, I've disappeared and went MIA on those who love me, I struggle with sleep, etc. It ruins your life if you don't learn to rid yourself of negativity. There is no simple solution, no quick fix to rid yourself. It takes effort and it is very difficult. You can't just light a candle and say a few prayers to make it go away. You have to work on yourself. You have to rewire your brain, self-reflect, set boundaries, and rid yourself of certain people in your life. It is so much deeper than what everybody thinks and you have to do it daily.

     There are different types of negative energy that people hold onto.

Talking to ourselves negatively will make an impact on the way you feel and the way you see yourself. And all of that negativity will reflect on our every day life such as work and relationships.

Negativity also stems from our culture and society. The way the world tells us to act, how to behave, what we should and shouldn’t say, etc and not be our true self.

Ancestry also has a part to play in it too. We hear stories that are passed down through generations from our family members and most of those stories are weighted with trauma. So when we hear those, we take it all in and the negativity we are already holding onto feeds off of more negative energy. And so it just builds up and we store it away, in return our lives become more difficult. It has an impact on our life.

Unaddressed emotions and thoughts are a big part of it. Every single person on this earth has had some sort of trauma in their life. And if you really look around, there really isn't anybody who you can talk to. You're scared of what that person will think or scared of how they react because you don't want them to add anymore negativity than you already have. And because of that, you are terrified that if you get a negative reaction from them, you will implode. And so, we hold onto those emotions. We hide them deep down and cover it up with a smile and pretend everything is okay. Fake it til you make it, right? WRONG! You  have to overcome that. Tell people how you feel and what you think, no matter their reaction. But at the same time, also be wise of who you open up to as well.

     There are many ways to rid yourself of negative energy. You just have to put in the effort and commit to it every day. I will admit that I still have trouble and I am not where I need to be yet. But I know that if I keep working at it, that I will get there. Methods that are very helpful are:

Reframing your mindset. Ask yourself why you're feeling the way you are, control the way you react to certain situations, etc. When you have a negative emotion or thought pop up, allow yourself to feel it and breathe. Don't just dismiss it. Breathe through it. Breathing helps you release that energy. Once you teach yourself how to release those negative emotions, you can eventually learn how to prevent them from happening or prevent them from getting really bad.

Detachment! Detach yourself from energy that isn't yours! Set yourself as many boundaries as you need to protect your peace. Examples are situations where there are unnecessary arguments, uncomfortable vibes from other individuals, etc. If you receive an off feeling from a person, place, event, or anything else, say no and mean it. Always trust that "gut feeling" because from my experience, it never ever fails you. You can also set energetic boundaries too. If you are an empath, you can set boundaries where you can avoid processing other people's energies. Ask yourself which emotions are yours and which emotions are somebody else's.

Submerging yourself in water is very helpful in clearing out any negative energy that is attached to you. Water is a very powerful cleansing agent. Whether it's a bath, shower, ocean or a lake; being in water allows you to be more in tune with yourself. We are made of water so it only makes sense. As you submerge yourself, think of which energies you need to release.

Meditation is a powerful way to examine and pinpoint on where the negative energy is coming from. It takes a lot of focus and even more patience.

They say spending time in nature is the best medicine, and it is 100% true. The Earth is one of the most powerful energy healers that we have free access to. Grounding yourself heals you. Walk outside barefoot, breathe, listen and observe. Acknowledge and feel the earth's energy using all of your senses.

And the last one is affirmations. What we say to ourselves matters. If we put ourselves down, it's going to attract negativity and then we reflect that negativity onto others, and it creates nothing but chaos. Rather than saying negative things to yourself, say positive things instead. The more you speak positive to yourself, positive energy will replace negative energy. Negativity doesn't want to dwell in a positive mindset and spirit. Negativity is attached to negativity. Positivity is attached to positivity. So once you keep doing this and staying positive, negativity will stay away. Don't open a door for any negative energy to pass through. It's very easy to let in and very difficult to get out.

      So take this however you need to and use it to your advantage. Sending light, love, prayers, and positive energy to everybody who needs it!

[littlest-dark-age]

Damiano david headcannons

Tagging @daddydamiano @noshame-bb @mywritingonlyfans

Translations 1, my soul 2, angel 3, my love 4, my life 5, little star 6, puppy 7, bunny 8, sweetness. Please let me know if any translation is incorrect.

Damiano would always be pressing kisses into your soft skin, wherever he could reach at the moment. The two of you are cooking and you have a huge sleep shirt on that reveals your shoulders? Kiss. You're fiddling with his hands out in public due to nerves? He's kissing every finger while looking you in the eye with a grin. You'd think he's convinced its a carnal sin to not kiss you every five minutes

He would beg you to do his makeup, constantly. He loves the intimacy of it, you usually sit on his lap for it and the way you gently cup his strong jaw turns him into an absolute puddle. You lose count of how many times you have to make him look back at you because he just wants to close his eyes and sink into the warmth you radiate. But you can't be mad at him, not when he looks up at you with those puppy dog eyes, shining with love.

Damia would absolutely give you one of his rings, and if it doesn't fit your fingers, no worries. He'll just give you one of his chains to put it on. He loves to kiss it when you wear it, whether it be on the chain or your hand. It always makes his heart skip a beat, a claim to the world that he was the lucky one to capture your affections

Please play with his hair, please. He will turn into a puppy the minute your nails graze his scalp. It doesn't matter the length, he loves it. His eyes slowly shut as you scratch at the shaved sides but he'll deny that he's about to fall asleep. 

Spa nights. Just, spa nights. He will let you put the cute animal headbands on him to keep his hair out of his mask, even letting you put it on him. Dami would love to watch movies like Legally Blonde and Clueless while you paint his nails and the glittery mask on his face dries. Never wearing a shirt, saying he wants skin to skin with you as he raises your shirt up to your chest so the two of you are pressed together. He'd sit on the floor, letting you work the hair mask through his hair as the first movie goes off and he starts to hunt for another, one of his hands stroking your bare leg.

Sleepy make out sessions are his favorite, after he's had his tea and the two of you are dead tired but can't stop. Even going as far to tell you that the two of you really should go to bed, as he's sweetly kissing you. There's no rush to it, no need to hide away your love as it's just the two of you. Locked away from the rest of the world, where damiano david is just yours. Where his nose keeps bumping yours just so he can hear you laugh and have you rub your own against his, like a bunny. His hands snaking up the back of your shirt to stroke down the length of your spine with the tips of his fingers. Barely enough for you to be able to feel it. 

If you were okay with it, he would absolutely want to tattoo you. He would never pressure you to if you really didn't but he would try to convince you if you were on the fence about it. If you let him pick, good luck. It would either be something like 'i am yours', which he would get a matching one. Probably around his heart. Or it would be something for måneskin. To have something he worked so hard on, permanently on someone he loves so so much would have him ecstatic. 

The pet names. They're never ending and ever changing. He says he can't help it and that he just says what comes to mind when he sees you. Whether that's anima mia 1, angelo 2, amore mio 3, vita mia 4, stellina 5, cucciolo 6, leprotta 7, or dolcezza 8. You never know which one to expect but they all bring a smile to your face, nevertheless. 

Damiano would always ask your opinion on his stage outfits, not really for reassurance but more so to involve you in every possible thing he can. He loves your input and always takes it into consideration. And you help him remember some things, like something might make him too hot or might restrict his movements on stage. The practical things he doesn't always think about, more focused on the look and aesthetic of it. 

Pictures, pictures and more pictures. He loves taking pictures of you doing the smallest of tasks, especially for when he has to be away from you. If you hid your face, he would still adore the photo but pout a bit because he couldn't see you. Even if photos could never compare to the real thing, in his words. He just wants you to be able to love yourself the way he loves you. He doesn't care about some imperfections, they're what make up you and everybody has them. So, it's probably easier to just let him have his pictures. 

His lockscreen is a picture of you and him with the cats piled up between the two of you. You didn't even know he took it until you went to check something on his phone for him. Dami says you look so peaceful in it, pressing a kiss to the cat's head with your eyes closed, and that it always helps him calm down when he looks at it. That it reminds him of home when he's not there to hold you on the nights on the road. Although, his wallpaper is an entirely different story. A bit more...spicy, if you will. It's a picture of you laying in bed wearing black lacy lingerie with a camera in your hand, and Damiano's legs are able to be seen straddling your waist.

He might not always be able to call or facetime during a tour but believe it when he makes those calls worth it. He loves to be able to call you for hours at a time and if time zones allow it, go to sleep with you on call. If not, that's okay. He has your time zone saved in his clock so he can always be sure to send you a goodnight or good morning text, even if it's a bit late or early. Damia needs to have that little slice of normalcy to keep him from going crazy during the tour. He lives and breathes music, don't get me wrong. But you are his soul and his mind, without you, there would be no music. 

If you're out with the band, he will pull you as close as you'll allow. Even onto his lap if it's a more private place or just you and the others. But this also means you'll be poked and tickled the entire night, even if you slap his hands away. He can't keep his hands off of your ribs, no matter how sore his hands get from your smacks. He compares it to when a kitten nibbles on them.

Damiano needs to be convinced to take a break and slow down, often. He gets so swept up in it that he doesn't realize he hasn't had a proper meal in a couple of days or that he's been skimping on sleep to write lyrics and play around with harmonies. Getting him out of the studio is hard, but much needed. He will appreciate it, as well as apologize for neglecting you for the past days. A nice date or just something to get him outside is just what he needed. No matter how casual it is, being able to relax and spend some time with you is one of his favorite things to do.

Some of his favorite dates are the ones where the two of you are able to just do something and have a good time without the pressure of having to dress up and get ready. He still uses the heart shaped mug you made him on one of your dates, still listens to the record you got him when the two of you got all of your favorite albums and swapped. He still has the tickets from the first movie the two of you were able to go and see together, stuck in between the worn pages of some old book of italian poems he's had forever

His love language is a mix of acts of service and gift giving. He loves to give you little trinkets and stuff he finds while on tour, each item reminding him of you in some way or another. Even if it's just a rock he thought you might like, a pair of earrings you've mentioned before or even just something he thought you might could use. And he will give you one of his oversized blazers if the two of you are out and it's cool, even make sure you have enough to eat and offer you bites of his own food if you want. Hell, if you wanted what he ordered versus what you ordered, he would swap it even if your dish isn't his favorite thing.

Dami loves cooking with you, there's something so domestic about it that he can't help but imagine your future together. He always claims that the meals the two of you prepare together are the best thing he's ever eaten, no matter how simple it is. Just don't break the pasta in front of him, you'll send him into cardiac arrest.

He loves it when you trace and kiss his tattoos, they're something he's proud of and knowing how much you like them just makes him happy. Of course, he knows you don't have to adore every tattoo he has as long as he's happy with it, but it still makes him feel nice when you show his ink a bit of love. It always tickles him a bit when you drag your nail on the ones in his chest, sending shivers down his spine when you do. 

He is a cover hog, yet denies it with every bone in his body. He claims you push them onto him most of the time, despite the fact that you struggle to cover up completely whilst he's on the other side of the bed bundled up like a baby with almost the entire cover. Thankfully, he's warm enough that you can just curl up behind him or into his side and get all the heart that you need from him. He still denies that he hogs the covers when the entire comforter is in a pile on his side, almost like he's trying to build himself a nest

Showering together is one of his favorite things, he loves how intimate it can be. Holding you and helping you wash up without any need to be awkward and feeling comfortable in your own skin in front of each other means so much to him. Being able to be open with one another and not hide anything, even if it's insecurities about your body. He understands that the world isnt always the nicest place and that he can't undo how people's words might hurt you but he'll try his best to get you to love your body

Damiano would love to teach you italian if you didn't already and wanted to learn. He's so excited to be able to share something like this with you that he doesn't realize how hard it is to teach someone an entire language. He overestimates himself and how good of a teacher he is, but that doesn't mean he won't try his best. It just takes a little bit of time, for the both of you. He understands the struggles of learning a new language and wouldn't try to push you to learn it so soon. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day. 

[mulderscully]

any hcs about tentoo and rose being parents <3

god, do not even get me started. actually went looking for one of my fav fics on that premise and it's still up on ff.net here.

it's funny bc with most of my ships i genuinely don't care abt them having kids and don't even want them to but tentoorose are different. i think it's because it's actively fun to imagine them being parents.

they canonically do have a daughter named mia, and i always hc'd they would have a girl so that was a win for me.

i made that tentoo and rose talking to donna about how special she is and i just felt like... god i KNOW they're the most supportive parents ever. maybe a little TOO supportive, especially the doctor. if you remember in "fear her" they're actually talking about how to raise a kid and rose is like "you can't give them everything they want." and i know the doctor does not listen to that at all lmfao. just putty in her hands!!

love the idea of mia getting an answer wrong on a test or something and the doctor coming up to the teacher like "that is not correct, because according to the ahsjjsksk of bla blah blah" and rose is like please ignore him.

i was thinking about [breathes out tearfully] rose and mia making the doctor a little replica of the tardis made out of wood and stuff for christmas, like rose remembers it in perfect detail and mia is very good at building things and painting etc.

i think they have a semi normal life like they do come home to a house etc but they still investigate weird things happening and sometimes mia secretly follows them and gets into trouble but also helps bc she's a little timelord-human too.

and just the idea of like... maybe they did get the piece of the tardis and when mia is like 19 it's done growing and the three of them go on their first trip to wherever and the tardis gets handed down through generations of their family so the timelords never go extincy in pete's world, they just evolved 🥹

[quinnsqueries]

Why Everyone Should Read "A Mango Shaped Space"

Wendy Mass was the first author I ever truly loved. Believe it or not, it took me until the ripe age of ten years old to truly love reading. And I remember the first book that actually got me hooked, and no it wasn't Mango, it was, however, by Wendy Mass. And, in classic little kid style, it was part of a series of books and I read them backwards.

And, I really just want to congratulate Wendy Mass on her writing abilities. She made me laugh, squeal and cry in one whole night. Three hours, to be exact, as that is how long it took me to read the whole book. And, well, it'd been a long time since I read it, so I didn't remember too much about the book, and what I did remember was the most tragic event in the book, the premise, and that the main character saw her grandfather in her kitten.

And, well, even though I knew what happened, I knew the tragic event was, well, tragic...it still didn't prepare me for it enough because I sobbed like a baby when it happened. I don't want to say what happened because, spoilers, but like, jesus christ, I cried. And I don't do that very often with books these days.

Anyway, I really recommend reading A Mango Shaped Space if you haven't, because I saw myself in the main character. Now, I don't have synesthesia, but I still saw myself in Mia, and maybe you will too. If you don't want spoilers for the book, then I suggest you stop reading here. If you don't mind it, if you need more convincing, then read along!

My first though when rereading this book was: Wow, Mia, you and I are so alike, I can't do math either. My second thought was, wow, Mia has anxiety. The opening scene is our protagonist, Mia, trying to solve a math problem and failing. She's never been good at math and she says it's because of the colors she sees and how it just doesn't work correctly when she tries to do math.

Mia was in front of the class trying to solve a math problem, and since she's not good at math, she's trying to stall for time, so she attempts to solve the problem while putting all the numbers in the "correct" color. Except, other people don't see the world as colorfully as Mia, and this ends up with her in the principals office realizing that maybe she's different and that it's not a good thing. This ultimately ends up with Mia trying to hide how different she is.

Now let's pause here for a moment. This scene not only builds up the entire plot of the book, but also reminds me of a lot of different things. Whenever someone thinks there might be something wrong with them, it can often be overlooked. With Mia it was her synesthesia, but with other people it can be so many different things. Autism, ADHD, depression...

I think this book is coded for neurodivergency, whether Wendy Mass meant it or not, and honestly, that means so much for me. And I'll further explain why I felt that way as I reveal more of the story, but for now, just trust me on this one.

The next scene sets up Mia's life as it currently is. We meet her best friend Jenna, her mom and dad, and her little brother Zack. And let me tell you: this family is weird and I love it. Wendy Mass built the characters so realistically, she legit brought them to life. Her little brother is obsessed with superstitions and has kept track of every single McDonalds burger he's ever eaten. Her older sister basically never touched grass in her life and then spends a summer in California and is obsessed with all of these nature-y spirity things. Her mom is very clean and horrible with dealing with emotions. She used to be a science teacher and loves astronomy. Her dad is the more sensitive parent (which like? Hello! We never get that!) He's constantly building and expanding their house, which is something he'd battle with his dad against until he died. He flies a hellicopter!

And then there's Mia. Who, like me, sucks at math, is okay with english and history, and is super artistic. She gets overwhelmed by a lot of noise, which the first time we see this happen, is when her brother turns up all of her clocks so when it strikes 5pm they'll all go off. It's super loud and overwhelming and Mia can't see straight. I get that way too, and the way Wendy Mass writes is super relatable.

If I had been prepared, I would have been able to anticipate the onslaught, but now it is overwhelming and I feel like I'm suffocating.

I get this way too! When things are too loud, if there's too many people around me, etc, I can't breathe, which Mass depicts, too. Mia has to crouch on the floor just so she can breathe. And then when the noise goes away, which causes the colors to go away, she can breathe again. This is a realistic depiction of anxiety, and while this is due to Mia's synesthesia, I think a lot of people can relate to how Mia is feeling in this moment.

Mia is then, understandably, afraid of hearing too many sounds, but when she takes control of the noise, like putting on music, then she's perfectly fine with it. Here's another quote from the book which just resonated with me.

All of them, belonging, at that minute, only to me.

This quote is in relation to the colors, but really just accurately depicts how when we have control of things, you really just feel at peace. And since it's preceded by such a powerful scene of feeling out of control, I think this sentence is just kinda perfect.

Another powerful scene is when Mia meets another kid like her. His name is Billy and he's five years old. Mia meets him at a supermarket and at first she doesn't realize that he's like him, but when she's does she's shocked. And, reasonably, scared and confused. This pushes the plot forward, and the next big scene is Mia coming clean to her parents. But first, just another quote that made me scream.

These visits are hard for her, no matter what she says. Or doesn't say. I hurry back to the house thinking of all the things we keep from other people. Even our best friends.

This quote sums up so much of the book, and it comes so early on. Mia's been keeping her synesthesia to herself for years, and it causes so many problems. It makes her feel isolated, which in turn, when she finds out that there are other people like her, makes her go crazy. She hyperfixates and loses track of whats right in front of her. Wendy Mass depicts what life is all about, depicts something that can really happen to anyone, depending on how isolated they feel. And it doesn't have to just be with synesthesia, it can be with anything! And that is what I loved about this book more.

If you haven't been convinced to keep reading, well...we're only on page 50.

So, like I said, the next big scene is Mia telling her parents that she has synesthesia, though she doesn't yet know the name for her condition. Beforehand, she's talking about why certain things, like math and languages are hard for her, because, no matter what she tries, they don't make sense.

When she tells her parents about the colors, they reasonably freak out. They argue back and forth about how it's their fault she's this way, the mom tries reason it with Mia having just memorized the colors because of the blocks she played with as a kid, and then they decide to set up a doctors appointment. All they want to do is fix Mia.

Also, I just want to point out, at this point, that even insignificant characters, like the history teacher in this book have such stunning quirks. The history teacher is a germaphobe and when Mia gets called down to be picked up, she doesn't know what it's for and her instant reaction is "did I put my history homework in the wrong pile?"

And, if I haven't given you enough quotes, heres another one that resonates with me.

At that point I would rather have been called anything but crazy. It's one thing for me to call myself crazy. It is another thing entirely when a doctor does it.

At this point in the book Mia has been referred to a therapist, or that's at least what they call her. Who, by the way, assumes Mia's making this up. And Mia thinks that because she's been referred to a therapist the doctor is calling her crazy, which, I don't entirely think he was. He just wasn't sure what to do about her condition since he doesn't specialize in that field.

Anything, the next thing we know, Mia tells her best friend about synesthesia and she gets upset. Previously in the book we learned Jenna's mom died when she was young and it had such an impact on her, which is why she's scared that Mia had been hiding such a big part of her life from her. She doesn't understand what is going on with Mia, and she seems like she might be sick at this point in the book, since nobody knows what synesthesia is. So, they have a fight because Jenna is scared that her best friend might die, even if she doesn't say it out loud, we can tell.

Mia then meets the therapist and gets referred to a neurologist, who, when Mia and her mom meet in person, then tells her what synesthesia is, since he specializes in it. He then says they can meet again sometime, sends Mia off with a website, and she's reasonably happy. She then spends the later half of the book hyper fixating on her new terminology, learning more about synesthesia, and making a new friend through the website. All the while ignoring what she has in real life. She distances herself from Jenna, who she finally made up with, and the rest of her friends. She ignores her schoolwork, and even does acupuncture because she read online that it really brings out her colors.

Now, at this point, I think it's only fair to bring up the cat, Mango. The namesake of the book. Mia first met Mango after her grandfather died, and she reminded her of him because they had the same eyes. She believes a part of her grandfather lives on through Mango, which softened her grandfathers death. But, the thing is, Mango, despite being fairly young, is dying, which is hinted at through the book. Mango has a lung condition and takes medicine for it.

During a meetup of people with synesthesia Mia has her first kiss and it's the best night of her life. And then, once she gets home, she realizes that Mango is missing. He'd gotten trapped outside. Mia brings him inside but something isn't right. Mango is dying and the roads are flooded. They try to take him to the vet via helicopter, but he dies on the way. And Mia is blaming herself for it. She thinks she hadn't been paying enough attention to Mango, and because of that he died.

My eyes open wide, and the pain hits me in thick black waves. Then I scream loud enough to wake the dead. Only it doesn't.

This quote was what made the tear-gates flood. Mia is grieving and hard. And during the next couple of chapters there are so many raw quotes, things like "I wish the ice would go right through me and take the pain away." Because Mia just lost her best friend, and she doesn't know how to cope. And also, her colors are gone, because it's a traumatic experience and apparently that happens.

And, also, it's Jenna's birthday party that day, and Mia just feels stuck in bed. And Jenna is blaming the synesthesia get-together for Mia being absent to being early for setting up. This gets resolved quickly by Mia's mom calling Jenna and explaining that Mango died, but this further shows us that Mia really had been neglecting everything in favor of researching/being hyper-fixated on her diagnosis. On her explanation of why she is the way she is.

The book then comes to a close with Mia finding Billy, whom she had been searching for in hopes of helping him and his family learn more about who he is and what he has, and with Mia reconnecting with her loved ones. And really, they ended it even softer with finding Mango's children, because he'd been courting another cat. Jenna's cat.

And well, I just really loved this book. So, please, please read it and tell me your thoughts. Did you also find that it's coded in nuerodivergency and other mental health issues?

[lokifantasies]

Hacked PART 1

Summary: Loki says some awful things to your group of mutual friends.

Read the Mischievous Life series here!

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"Thanks for the pancakes, dad," Jade calls out as Loki drops the sixteen-year-old off at school. The father and daughter decided that since she was going to be late, the two would stop for pancakes while they were on the way to her school.

"I'll see you at 3:10!" Loki calls out to her – giving her a wave and smile – watching as his eldest daughter turns around and walks into the main building.

For a few seconds, Loki is in another world – the warm smile on his face grows as he thinks about the family he's created with you.

The surprise of having twins once more – a little trickster hiding behind her brother.

Loki's phone vibrates – getting his attention and bringing him back to the real world. He sees your name pop up on the screen, and he unlocks it with a smile.

Thinking nothing of your message, he responds with a smile.

When you answer back, though, his eyebrows furrow in confusion.

He tries to figure out what you're talking about,

but he feels his heart in his throat when you send him your last message.

His pleas for an explanation fall on deaf ears.

You're beyond angry – furious at the man that claims he loves you. The screenshots and messages shatter your heart and soul. You softly cry as you hold Mia in your arms – swaying her gently in your arms while Kaiser plays with his Hot Wheels.

"Babe!" Loki calls out – his voice shocking you. You have no idea how he got home so quickly, but here he is – standing in the doorway of your baby girl's room. His face is contorted in pain and confusion, and he slowly starts towards you and Mia. "My love, please," he begs. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nice try," you hiss – tears rolling down your cheeks as you sniffle. "You know what you did."

Loki holds his hands up as he tries to find the right words. "Darling, I have absolutely no idea why you're angry at me." You scoff – feeling disgusted at how he's lying at you. "W-where's your ring?" he points out – noticing the your engagement ring has been taken off. "Love, please talk to me."

"A vasectomy?" you finally ask – your voice cracking as you think about the messages you had read earlier. "Really, Loki? Are you that annoyed with being a father, that you feel the need to go behind my back and make it to where we can't have anymore kids?" Loki's eyes widen, and he tries to speak, but you cut him off. "I can't believe I trusted you...loved you..."

"Loved?" Loki's voice weakly asks – his heart officially breaking. "I never-,"

"I don't want to hear it!" you raise your voice – causing Mia to start crying. "Shh," you try to hush the nine-month-old. "I'm so...angry with myself for letting you take advantage of me."

Loki's breath is short – his anxiety skyrocketing as he tries to figure out what has happened this morning.

"Sweetheart," he begins – trying to keep his composure, "Jade and I were eating pancakes all morning...whatever you think happened didn't happen."

"So because you were eating, there's no way you could've been sending these messages?" you angrily take out your phone and hand it over – letting him thumb through the heart wrenching claims.

As he reads the words coming from the person claiming to be him, his eyes fill with tears, and his ability to speak disappears. You're crying while rocking back and forth with Mia – loving her as much as you possibly can after how badly Loki has broken your heart.

He hands your phone back, and his ocean eyes are glaring at you – glistening with tears while he lets out a scoff.

"You honestly believe that was me?" he asks – his voice heavy with pain. You don't say anything. You hadn't considered the possibility that someone had hacked his account. "Of course," he continues – letting out a small huff. "Of course you would believe that's me. Because, that's all I am, isn't it? An egotistical, hard-headed asshole, and my only goal is to cause you and our family pain and suffering. I can't believe...you thought...for even a moment that was me." He sniffles and motions his hand towards you empty ring finger. "Since you think so lowly of me...perhaps we shouldn't get married."

[ackermans-freedom-inc]

Hi! Thank you for what you're doing, it means a lot! 💕 may I join the event, if it's not too much trouble? Here's my letter!

Dear Eren,

what a pathetic start, don't you think?

I'm writing this letter to you because it's undeniable now that you are very dear to me. I don't think I can be silent about my feelings anymore. I know you tried to discourage me, because a marleyan shouldn't be seen enjoying the company of an eldian, but I don't care. I know you're just trying to protect me. I've come to know you these last few months, and I've seen how thoughtful and altruistic you are. Since you've always been so nice to me...will you let me share my feelings for you? Just this once. If you want, you can reject me and we can pretend nothing happened, but I have to say it at least once.

I'm in love with you.

I've been in love with you since we first met. Remember? You were waiting in line to be admitted to the hospital in Liberio and someone knocked you over. I came to help you and our eyes met for the first time as you took my hand. That's when I knew I was doomed. I loved you even before knowing your name. After that first meeting, I started helping around the hospital a lot. I told you I usually did that to pass the time, but Eren...I lied! I spent my free time there hoping I would meet you again. And now we've become...friends, I guess? But a true friend wouldn't sit on that bench with you hoping you'll wrap an arm around her shoulder, a true friend wouldn't spend too many restless nights thinking about kissing your soft lips. A true friend wouldn't look for every excuse to slip under the covers with you and cuddle you to sleep so you don't have nightmares.

And yet here I am, wishing I could build a world in which you could be happy. I know I would be so, so happy in your arms. It doesn't matter if this world is cruel, because I found beauty in it. I found it in your loyal, selfless, impossibly big heart. I love you, and I keep loving you, and I can't help it. I don't know how to stop. I know we shouldn't be together, this society wouldn't understand. They want me to choose a man among my suitors and marry well, and the only man I want is the one I could never have. My beautiful soldier. I might be wrong, but if you feel for me even the tiniest bit of what I feel for you... say the word, and I'll run away with you in a heartbeat.

Always yours,

Mia

A/N: Heya @jaymihawk!!! Thank you so much for sending in a letter to my event! I hope you enjoy! It was no trouble at all, it was my pleasure <3

Dear Mia,

I am used to sending letters, but to receive one, from you nonetheless, was a welcome surprise.

I thought...the last time we spoke would be the last. I regretted the way I handled it, dear Mia, the moment I saw your eyes shimmer with tears. I hope you know, and understand I was merely trying to dissuade you from pursuing me. I suppose no matter the reason, it does not give me the right to have said what I did. I hurt you, and I did not want to. I..wanted to protect you, like you said.

I wanted to spend the rest of my time here with you, in the sun, your gentle hand nearby. The only partially true thing I said to you the other day...about using you - let me explain. It was my plan, yes, to get close to, and see if I could use someone who was with the hospital. Perhaps for the possibility of gaining some more food, some more free time outside, a look the other way if I snuck out the gates. And I admit, at first, that may have been who you were, and what you were to me. But Mia, believe me when I say that it was only for a moment.

The time we spent together started to grow on me, your loveliness, your stories, and the way your eyes would sparkle when the evening sun hits it...I miss it all. I echo your thoughts that perhaps, friends is something we may not be able to achieve. I long for you to come back, to me with me once more, just for one more night on the bench.

I love you as well, and if you feel up for it, please come back. Tomorrow perhaps? I shall wait for you on the bench. As always.

Eren

Mia, this part of the letter you need to destroy. Read it, and then burn it. I signed my name above to dismiss any suspicions. Understand, that what you read cannot, under any circumstances, be shared. You wanted to run away? With me? To a world where we could be happy. Tomorrow. When you come see me, pack your bags for a trip. A long one. I will explain more when you come see me. I hope you will look past the words I said to you our last meeting, and forgive me enough to come. I hope to be able to say goodbye, or, dare I even wish it, for your face to appear at the gate tomorrow...where I can hold and protect you, for as many days as you will allow me.

Valentines Day Event

[aremie]

𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄 ❞ ( EREN JAEGER X FEM. READER )

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 ;; Eren is dead, your friends are dead, Annie and Armin are probably starting a new life together, Levi and Mikasa are hiding together somewhere, and you are left alone. Left alone in misery, you try to bring Eren and your friends back to life by abusing the extent of your abilities.

𝗮 / 𝗻 ;; this is based on wandavision, some aot manga spoilers, ending is different, eren is crystalized, reader is twenty one here.

𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗿 ;; reader has abilities like wanda maximoff, you have powers like chaos magic, manga spoilers, don't read if you don't want to be spoiled. Different ending from the manga, Eren is crystalized in this one, canon divergence. CHAPTER TWO here.

IT WAS BLOODSHED everywhere and you can't seem to escape that. Its been two years since the departure of you and your friends. Jean and Connie turned into a mindless titan, Hanji was dead, Mikasa and Levi were MIA, Armin was nowhere to be seen, Annie's whereabouts were unknown and you were left alone.

You missed everyone but mostly Eren. You always dwelled into the past and thought what would have happened if you had just answered his question differently.

"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" Eren had asked you while you struggled getting up the rooftop. The two of you had snuck out of your rooms to look at the sky but the time was random.

You, Eren, Mikasa and the others had just returned from a mission that involved titans. It was hard to say the least. You almost died due to a titan grabbing your right leg and almost crushing it but luckily, Eren was right there and saved you from your near death experience.

"Mhm." You hummed while Eren took his time to put his head onto your lap gently. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you as you two both cherished the moment.

It wasn't until you felt Eren sit back up that you felt something off about him. "N/N?" He asked in a childlike manner. "Hmm?" You looked at Eren's emerald eyes, noticing the sadness in his eyes. "What's wrong, 'Ren?" you asked softly.

The distressed brunette glanced at you and then asked, "Do you think i'm a monster?" And after saying that, you responded quickly. "No! Why would you think that?" You scolded him in a way a mother would scold their child.

You reminded him of his mother Carla in that very moment. From the way your tone was to how your hair and clothing apparel was like. You had your hair tied loosely, hanging on your right shoulder, a simple knee-length cream-colored dress and black boots to finish the look of.

He wonders what you both are gonna do once the war between the titans and the marleyans are gone. He sees himself working as a doctor like his father and you would be the mother of his children. But unlike his father, he'd do everything to protect you and his children. The only thing keeping him from doing this was the ymir curse.

"Use your power on me." Eren bluntly said, not knowing how crazy he sounded until he saw the confused and outraged look on your face. "Eren, What the fuck—?!" You shrieked, alerting half the people that were asleep.

"No, you completely got it wrong. I didn't mean it like that." Eren immediately defend himself, not wanting to get scolded. "Then what do you mean?" you asked, getting more confused. He then grabbed and held your hand.

"Tell me what you feel." He said as you used your ability. You felt nothing but pain, sadness, confusion and anger. It scared you. It didn't feel anything like your lover.

"So?" Eren asked but it didn't feel like a question. Its as if he was pleading for you to answer while you shook your head. "I just. . ." You didn't know what to tell him. What were you gonna say? "I just. . . I just feel you." You answered, noticing the pain in his eyes. Was it the right answer? You asked yourself.

"Oh. Alright then." Eren responded with pain laced with his voice. You wanted to ask him if he was alright but you already knew what the answer would be so you just stood there silently, waiting for the sun to rise.

YOU FELT NOTHING but regret. If you had just answered his question differently then he maybe have stayed with you or maybe run away together and then no rumbling. You always wondered what the outcome would be if you answered differently. Multiple scenarios coming in your mind but almost everything that had came into your mind was too selfish.

You knew that what he was doing was right in a way. He was saving Eldia but what did it cost? It costed him everything. In another life, he probably would have lived with you peacefully until the end of his time.

If you were in his shoes, you probably would have chosen the selfish route in which Marley evades and kills all eldians but at least you had your happy ending, right? You knew that your thoughts were incredibly selfish which was why you tried acting like a selfish person. You tried to be a better person for Eren.

Which was why when you went to find Eren ina crystal, you decided to let it go even if it was hard. You tried living your life the way Eren would have wanted you to.

But all the efforts you had made was destroyed once a certain envelope was placed on your porch. You of course, the curious person you were opened the envelope that involved a map in it.

You then looked at the map and noticed a red mark placed onto a certain place. You wondered the importance of the marked place. Filled with hope that Eren might have escaped, you decided to go to the marked place.

Your hope and happiness was crushed when you saw a demolished cabin. It would have looked decent had it not been demolished. You saw a blueprint of the house which left you wondering why it was demolished when it looked absolutely breathtaking.

Looking at the final piece that was in the envelope, you noticed a letter that seemed to be written two or three years ago? You hesitantly opened the letter and was shocked to find the continents in it.

To my beloved,

To my very dear [Y/N], It has come to my senses that the war is nearing its end and yet, we have no plans for our future. I found this cabin while you were still in bed, healing after a titan almost crushed your leg. I was wondering what our lives are gonna be once this all ends.

Looking at this cabin, i suddenly realized. I want to spend my whole life with you. To marry you, and to have children with you. I swore to myself that i will protect you until the end of my time.

But i knew that it would be quite impossible with the things that has befallen us both. I always try to look on the bright side even if i know that my wishes and yours would be too selfish for the world. I want my last few years to be spent with you. I want to be selfish for once and be with you. But i know i can't.

You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. From the way you supported me and believed in me, to the way you defended me when the world was against me. When i first met you, i knew you were the one for me. As cheesy as it did sound, it felt like love at first sight.

So as a remembrance once i'm gone, this cabin will be your home. For you to grow old with.

Adieu, my love. May you live your life happily.

Ever yours, E.Y. — 853.

It was moronic, quite funny actually. All your efforts of living a life without Eren had been crushed and all it took was a stupid letter that was written three years ago.

You, being overcome by severe anguish, had a breakdown, causing you to unleash your abilities to an extent for the first time, forming a new reality around you, transforming the entire village into a more colorful and happy place filled with sitcom vibes.

You weren't thinking straight when you did that. Hell, you didn't even know you could do that. All these years, Levi and the corps had been trying to hide out these abilities but their efforts were also ruined. Just like your Efforts of trying to build a new life were.

It took you a few minutes to calculate what had just happened.

As you stood up, still not being over the letter, you noticed the Cabin rebuilt as you were inside it. You were confused and scared about what just happened. Did you do this? How? What are you going to do now? All these questions popped onto your mind but all of these were interrupted once you heard a familiar voice outside.

All of your hopes were back as you immediately headed outside and saw the man you longed for. "[N/N], you're finally here!" Eren happily said while you looked at him in denial. You must be seeing things. You told yourself.

"[Y/N]? Are you alright?" Eren asked while tears were filling your eyes. You then nodded as you snapped your fingers as your hair color and clothing changed from disheveled and random to a more curly and elegant hairstyle and a more housewife-ly dress.

Upon casting the spell you had unknowingly made, you engulfed yourself in your new reality, where you and Eren would go on to live happily together, daring to harm anyone who would try to ruin your perfect life.

[pluviophile-imagines]

9 and 17 for the ask game if they haven't already been asked pls <3

9: Are there any fics you'd love to see but don't want to write yourself? What are they?

ok,,,, i said i was gonna give u a diluc one bc ik ur a genshin blog now so here we go exposing this Very Specific Fic Idea i had for a man from a game i dont even play JBHADF this was the other idea i had instead of Like The Dawn for Tay's bday, which i ended up scrapping in favor of Like The Dawn bc this would have been WAYYYY longer and wouldn't have been a modern au and i simply didn't wanna bother figuring out the world 😭😭😭 and if i end up caving and writing this shit anyway in a few months uh. mind ur business 😌

arranged marriage plot........ where the reader n dluc have been engaged to be married since before they were even like. able to crawl. but have not once met, and in the aftermath of diluc's dad gettin merc'd he calls off the arrangement figuring hey she'll probably be happy to not be engaged to a dude shes never met. surprise! not how. the world works. and when she gets the letter she hikes her damn self up to his winery and storms into his office like "um??? dude??? ur literally ruining my LIFE who the fuck is gonna wanna marry me once I'm your sloppy seconds? everyone's gonna think there's something wrong with me you know??? you want me to make my debut" (very regency vibes with the way i would build the culture of mondstadt's upper class) "at nearly 20 fucking years old after the head of the most influential family decided i wasnt good enough for him like either you're the stupidest man alive or the cruelest" and diluc is just🧍‍♂️bc the dumbass rlly didnt think abt that 😭 and hes all "im gonna fuck off for a while and you deserve a husband who wont do that" and shes all "i dont even WANT a husband but ive been raised to be a wife i cant just Not be one so actually? you marrying me and letting me run your household/business while you're completely MIA sounds like a rlly good deal to me" SO THEY GET MARRIED REAL FUCKIN FAST N HE FUCKS OFF LIKE IN CANON AND SHE IS LEFT TO RUN HIS WHOLE THING DURING THOSE YEARS WHILE HES GONE and then,,,,,,,, and then he comes back ohohoho and now the fun can start. because there is nothing better than mutual pining where u think the other doesn't love you when youre LITERALLY MARRIED AHAHA cue the longing gazes and the chaste touches (2005 pride and prejudice hand flex scene i am staring right at you) and the misunderstandings (legit id spend the first two thirds of the fic after he shows back up with him under the assumption that the reader absolutely despises him and the reader trying desperately to despise him.......) throw in some good old-fashioned "diluc gets hurt and the reader patches him up but they both have to pretend like theyre not losing their minds over the fact that shes got her hands all over his bare chest" a classic in the vigilante romance genre LIKE ALL THE PERIOD ROMANCE TROPES give the man a horse toss him in a lake dress him up for a party mmmmm i wanna read it SO bad

17: What has been the proudest moment for you so far since you started writing?

ok,,,, this is gonna sound rlly arrogant but here we go. a few monthsssss ago i decided to Put Effort into reaching out to authors more and interacting with the community, cause i figured that was one of the best ways to both motivate myself to write and just kinda generally be more active on this blog, thus encouraging the kind of interaction i desire.

soooo i reached out to two authors who I really admired, whose works i really enjoyed. and BOTH of them responded by telling me that they were huge fans, that they were fangirling bc I'd interacted with them, and that my work was one of the reasons they started posting in the first place. that was....... like holy fuck. the FIRST time was mind-boggling and so flattering; and then the SECOND time i was like well goddamn i must be the best author in this whole community JKSHDBFV im kidding but yeah. they've both become v treasured mutuals so if y'all see this ily those interactions made my goddamn year 🥺

ask me abt my fics!

[bestbonnist]

Chapter 140.1

At the beginning of the chapter, Fushi doesn't want anything to do with Mizuha, saying they don't want to wear the clothes she bought them, which Tonari notices, although she decides to not follow up on it.

Tonari says she thinks of her friends (Fushi included though she doesn't state it directly) as her property, revealing the similarities she's seen between herself and Hayase: who views Fushi as a possession she can own instead of their own person. Their love is fundamentally different, but Tonari does default to dictating right and wrong to the people around her instead of compromising. She relents in this situation because she doesn't want to be like Hayase, and also acknowledges that Fushi's experience isn't necessarily the same as hers (her logic is since they were friends with Kahaku despite him being one of Hayase's successors there's no reason Mizuha should be different) and gives Mizuha the benefit of the doubt.

Tonari using words like "control" and being upfront and apologizing to Fushi, as well as stepping aside to let them be with Mizuha if they so choose, draws a clear line between her actions and Mizuha's selfish ones. Fushi's last words to her before leaving in Chapter 139.2 were "don't control me," so for Tonari to back off reminds them of Mizuha again.

Tonari also accidentally reaffirms that Fushi should be trying to fulfill Mizuha/Kahaku's dream, even though she's only talking about Upa, Mia, and Uroy. Mizuha is a whole other thing. So basically, after Fushi ran out on Mizuha, Tonari finds them and tells them that they were actually right to try and fulfill her dream right when they just decided to stop doing it. Her saying these things is what prompts Fushi to get upset again.

Tonari asks Fushi to tell her what's wrong, because she cares about them, but they cut her off before she can finish, probably since her desire to understand them is reminiscent of their last conversation with Kahaku (which is a connection that they notice) and that didn't really end well. But more importantly because Fushi's also starting to realize that Tonari is in love with them, and they felt she was building up to a confession, so they stopped her with a rejection of her hand (and that connection is one Fushi is doing their level best to ignore). This is hurtful to Tonari, who can feel the divide between them but doesn't know/doesn't want to admit why. There are also some fun panels where the background subtly splits Tonari and Fushi apart:

You can see here, the buildings behind her divide them.

Fushi keeps going to Bon for "orders" the way they only followed what the Beholder told them because it was easier/safer than making complex moral decisions themselves... They did this with Mimori's knocker too, basically told Bon to make the choice instead and let them carry it out. Because the Beholder's left them without any sort of guidance. Anyways this behavior started in the Uralis and Renryrr Arcs, when Bon chose to go through the Beholder and keep important information from Fushi, therefore making the decisions for them. They associate Bon with the Beholder because of this.

Bon also says that there's value in living life for yourself and experiencing all negative emotions for yourself instead of others doing it for you, but Fushi doesn't really register this even though it's exactly what they're doing for Mizuha. From their perspective it's either them or the Left Hand, and since the knockers are bad it's their job to fix it.

Kinda weird how Izumi's knocker led with "we have stew at home." Gugu parallels... Was it eavesdropping somehow? I mean, yes, obviously it knew exactly what was going on when it found Mizuha, but are the knockers also monitoring Fushi like they thought in Chapter 138.2? Food for thought. Haha, pun.

Izumi's knocker mostly just comforts Mizuha and lets her cry on its shoulder. Says all the right things. But there's one line, where it goes "all that matters is that you like this person! That feeling is all you need!" Izumi's knocker is saying it's OK if it's not reciprocated as long as the sentiment is there, and encouraging Mizuha to continue loving Fushi instead of moving on after rejection, which I'm pretty sure means Mizuha's love for Fushi is important to the Left Hand somehow.

So instead of showing up with explosives like would be expected if Fushi plans to destroy Izumi's knocker, they make a sword. Since this accompanies the words "I'll make you drop your human act" I guess they're planning on. Um. Torturing Izumi's knocker until they get it to admit the truth in front of Mizuha. Which is really just to satisfy themselves, both to blow off steam and to prove that knockers are really the bad guys. It will traumatize Mizuha though, especially to learn that the mom she was starting to bond with was a fake after all. And Fushi lied to her about it, plus killed Izumi's knocker themselves.

This is all assuming that they're not planning on going after the Left Hand too, which will be useless because in order to make that death stick they'd have to leave Mizuha dead to prevent it from returning in her body, and even that's iffy since the Left Hand doesn't need to stick to Hayase's descendants. Fushi won't do that though, narratively speaking, because Mizuha's the deuteragonist of this arc and if she's out of commission right now, then the story loses half of its drive. Character-wise there's no way in hell Fushi would kill Mizuha and leave her dead forever, but if it was just until they figured out how to destroy the Left Hand permanently... they might be persuaded. But they would need time to convince themselves.

Final thoughts! Fushi's going to be pushing their morals regardless of the specific outcome, but to make it even worse there's a silhouette that looks like Ricard up in the air when they run into Bon, meaning Tonari's tracking them down to talk, and will see with her own two eyes that the world's not peaceful. And unlike Yuuki, she'll want all their other friends to know. The chapter's called "Acting Human (1)," so if the next one is "Acting Human (2)" then Izumi's knocker probably won't be dropping its act like Fushi hopes.

I forgot to fit this in anywhere but Tonari has also decided that the difference between her and Mizuha is that Mizuha's still a kid so she has time to change, but Tonari's stuck as a twisted adult so the only way she can support Fushi is by being mature and lenient. As the Beholder says, if the vessel changes the soul/faie does as well, so the current Tonari is best described as a combination of her adult and child selves as seen on the chapter's title page. Tonari needs to find that balance.

[darkeyesshine]

Letting Go AMBW (AOMG Gray)

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒂 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆 ❤️

𝙀𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮, 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙚𝙣𝙨💋💋💋💋

"What do you mean you can't come tonight!"

"I just can't. I already made plans and plus you told me too late."

"Mia, for a date with me? You shouldn't have to put YOUR plans over ours." I crossed my arms.

"Why?" Mia rolled her eyes.

"Because I am your boyfriend!"

It was silent between us for a moment while we stared at each other then Mia scoffed and walked to the front door of our house.

"I am going out with my friends tonight. You should go out by yourself," She says before walking out the door and sat down on the couch in the living room.

I can't believe she would do this? For five years we've been dating and she can't even go out on a Friday night with me. I planned this date for awhile since I've been so busy at the studio working as a music producer. I thought Mia would see but I guess she didn't. I laid back on the couch, wiping away my tears. Lately, she's been so distant with me and I don't know why.

My phone vibrates and I take it out from my front pocket. I looked at the notification bar and saw that my friend, Jay Park texted me.

Text Message:

𝐉𝐚𝐲

𝐒𝐨...𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫? 😏😏😏

𝐌𝐞

𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩, 𝐦𝐚𝐧.

𝐉𝐚𝐲

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭?! 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫?

𝐌𝐞

𝐍𝐚𝐡, 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝.

𝐉𝐚𝐲

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

At least it's good to know someone is here for me. I got up from the couch and looked at myself in the mirror checking out my outfit. I was wearing a black leather jacket with black jeans and a white shirt.

If I can't go out with Mia then I will just go out by myself. I grabbed the keys and walked out of my house. Once I got inside my car, I started it and buckled my seatbelt before driving out of the driveway.

Where should I go? I thought to myself when stopping at a red light then my stomach started to grumble and I knew where to go.

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒔 𝑵𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝑪𝒂𝒇𝒆.

When I made it to the cafe, I parked my car and got out with a smile on my face. I was hoping to get my favorite meal, waffles with a cup of tasty coffee. I opened the door for a couple that was walking out of the restaurant and they nodded their heads at me with a smile.

That should be me and Mia but she wants to go with her friends. Their not even worth the time anyway.

"여보세요 (hello)." A beautiful dark skin waitress with long grey braids says but it sounded like she was concerned.

I didn't even realize I sat down at a table, I've gotten so used to coming over here that I didn't wait for someone to show me where to sit.

"Hi," Once I said that she smiles widely at me before taking out a small notebook.

"Finally someone who speaks English, I was struggling all day just speaking Korean." She exhaled loudly and I laughed.

"I can't imagine. Are you new here?"

"Yes, I am. This is my third day at the cafe," While she spoke, I looked at her name tag and it said 𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐥𝐞𝐲.

"That's nice. I come here often, how are you enjoying it so far?" I asked she looks around before speaking.

"It's good. So, do you know what you are having tonight?" She takes out a pencil.

"Yes, I do." I nodded.

After I ordered three waffles with ice cream, I went on my phone and decided to go on Instagram. I scrolled through pictures of my friends and wished that I was just as happy as them. At the beginning of our relationship, Mia was everything that I could wish for. Even though Jay told me that he was suspicious of her, I tried to prove him wrong constantly. But now I am starting to see the signs and I don't blame him for not trusting her. Mia has become cruel and uncommunicative in our relationship, I feel like I am always the one trying.

"Here you are." Ashley comes back with my meal and boy did it look delicious.

"Thank you, Ashley." I put my phone down.

"No, problem. Is there anything else that you want?" She asks with a smile.

Yeah, a date with me because I am a lonely man.

"No, that's it." She nods before looking away but she stopped walking away from my table midway and came back to me.

"Umm...I wanted to ask." Ashley scratched the top of her head and I smiled.

"Go on," We both giggled and she made eye contact with me. I felt like I was melting while looking at her brown eyes, she was that pretty.

Stop it, Gray! You are in a relationship.

"I was wondering when are you coming over here again?" My heart stopped beating.

"Umm, I don't know. Maybe tomorrow night? Who knows." I shrugged my shoulders and she smiles.

"Well, I would like to see you again." I smiled at her while she waited for a reply.

"I would like to see you too. My name is Gray, by the way." I held out my hand for her and she gladly took it.

"Nice to meet you, Gray."

Oh, boy what was I getting myself into? I mean it shouldn't be that bad, we're just becoming friends. Right?

.........

When I got home it was 12:20 pm and Mia was still not home. I called her phone but it kept going to voicemail and I was getting agitated. If she's not home in thirty minutes, I will know something is up.

I heard keys and giggles outside then the front door opened. Mia came inside the house taking her shoes off aggressively and stumbling over to the living room. She stopped to look at me and I just shook my head at her in disappointment.

"Mia, where were you?" I got up from the couch and she mumbled something but I couldn't hear.

"Huh?"

"I just came from a party with my friends like...I told you before," She waved me off before walking into our bedroom.

"Mia, what are you talking about? I know you were out with friends but you didn't tell me about a party." I followed her into the room and she starts to take off her shirt.

"What do you want me to say, Gray? Gosh, you are so annoying." She shakes her head.

"Annoying? How am I being annoying, when you were the one who canceled on me tonight?" I pointed at myself.

"I don't have time for this," As she walked to the bathroom, I saw a hickey on her neck.

"Mia...who were you with?" I leaned on the bathroom door and she looks at me through the mirror.

"He's a nobody," She scoffs

"I didn't ask for the gender, I asked who were you with," I walked up to her. "You are cheating on me."

"It was a one-time thing, I swear." Mia tried to cup my face but I grabbed her hands.

"Yeah, okay." I walked away and took off my jacket.

"Aga, I am so sorry." She started to cry. "I didn't mean to cheat on you...I was drunk and a guy came into the bathroom with me." She rambled on but I was still paying her no mind.

"Please, Gray. Listen to me when I tell you this, I won't cheat on you again." I looked at her and she came up to me.

"You promise?" I asked and she kisses me on the forehead.

"Promise,"

𝑭𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝑳𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓....

"You smell different, babe." Mia pulled from the hug and looked at me suspiciously.

"Oh, here we go again." She exhaled loudly.

"All I said was that you smell different that's all," I put my hands up and she smiled lightly at me.

"I know...it's just I haven't been feeling well lately and I've been very sensitive about myself." She sat down on the couch and I sat next to her.

"Do you want me to stay?" I didn't want to leave her home alone, knowing that she wasn't feeling alright.

"No, it's fine. Go out with your friends today and have fun for me, okay?" When I tried to give her a kiss, she turned her head away from me.

"I am sick, remember?" She says then I gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Feel better, agi. When I get back we could watch a movie together," I walked to the front door and looked back at her smiling face before leaving the house.

...........

"I wish you could stay longer," Ashley moves closer to me on her couch.

"Sorry, Ashley. But I can't...I have to go home and take care of Mia." I kissed her on the forehead and she shook her head at me in disbelief.

"You know she's cheating on you, right?" She gets up from the couch and I closed my eyes.

Not this again. I already have Jay telling me that Mia is still cheating on me. I don't need to have Ashley on my back about this too.

"I know," I exhaled.

"You know? Then why stay in a relationship with her?" Ashley crosses her arms and I stand up in front of her.

"Because she's helped me get through a lot and she still treats me well." I tried to make every excuse in the world to be with Mia and the people around me knew it wasn't worth it.

"Having a girlfriend who comes home at three in the morning with five thousand hickeys on her neck, is not a person who treats you well." Tears started to form in my eyes and she cups my face while wiping the tears away with her fingers.

"Baby...you deserve more than this. Break up with Mia so you could be with me and I will show you how a real girlfriend takes care of her man." Ashley softly spoke on my lips before kissing me passionately.

I deepen the kiss by pulling her closer and she smiled into the kiss. Then she pushed me down on the couch and got on top of me but I stopped her from kissing me again on the lips.

"Ashley...as much as I would love to do this. I can't because I am still in a relationship with Mia," She gets off of me and nods.

"I understand and that's what makes you an amazing boyfriend. But if you are not through with her by the time January hits which is in three days, we won't be together anymore." Ashley sternly said and I nodded.

"Okay," That was the last thing I said before leaving her apartment building.

When I got to my house, I saw a car parked in the driveway. My first thought was: this is probably one of Mia's boy toys. But that would be false to have that mindset about my girlfriend, right? I was proven wrong when I walked inside the house and saw Mia kissing on top of a man covered in tattoos.

"You said you would never cheat on me again," I said out loud causing Mia to get off of the guy she was kissing on. "Now look at you."

"Gray...this is not what it

"Looks like? Yeah, I've heard that same line over and over again. And here I was hoping that you would change but you haven't, not one bit." I cut her off then she looks at the guy and he gets up from the couch walking out of the house.

"Agi-

"Goodbye, Mia. I am done with you," I pointed at the front door.

Her mouth opened to say something but after a few seconds later, it closed. Mia threw on her jacket and put on her heels before walking out of the house. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders when Mia left because I knew that I didn't have to settle for less anymore.

I could finally be with the one that I love, who I know loves me in return.

𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐥𝐞𝐲.