#I love the pieces I made this year tbh I'm really happy with the direction my art is going in

[ineed-to-sleep]

AGH I almost forgot to do an art vs artist for 2024 😔 here's me & some of my favorite pieces from the year ☝🏻

+ honorable mention to this gem:

[deafsignifcantother]

the baby

♥ summary: almost loosely based off of this by @ukor02. This is really just a small little writing thing I did at 4am. ♥ relationship: no direct romance really, just some cute stuff between Lucifer and reader. ♥ word count: 1.6k ♥ notes: no childbirth mentioning and this is written like just as summaries of the situation tbh, almost like a bullet point format without the bullet points, the entire cast are characters, hospital scene, I made Alastor a main character and her main bestie because of course I did, reader is happy to be a mother

You wanted to give your baby a chance to get into Heaven, even if it meant they'd leave without you. Hell is no place for a child. Both you and Charlie knew that.

.

"What a pleasant surprise," you sign to Alastor when you see that damn smiling demon right outside your hotel room.

He laughs; aw, you're describing his arrival as pleasant. Did he make a good impression on you when you saw him last when he introduced himself in person in Pride Sign Language? You never seemed to have paid any mind to him, giving one motion signs as responses whenever he tried starting a conversation. But even when you interacted with him like that, he couldn't help but wonder why you always looked at him with your sweet, shy gaze. It's not on purpose, which is the worst part.

Pleasant, you called it a pleasant surprise.

"It's good to see you too, my dear!" He signs, bowing a bit and pushing past you into your room. "What have you been up to?"

What an obnoxious question.

You close the door, squeezing the doorknob tightly. This is going to be a long evening. When you turn back to Alastor, he's in your living room examining the decor, your random art pieces taped to the walls and organized together, though not concisely.

He waves his hands. "I love what you've done with the place."

"I've been bored." You sign with a slight nod to yourself. It's awfully isolating, which is obvious. Still, it has never hit you as hard as it does now as you watch another person walk through your chambers.

"I'm glad I can be in your company then." His smile widens, and the static he emits gets heavier. His ear twitched a bit, which you noticed but tried not to directly look at. Was it a good or bad thing?

"But it's often relieving to be alone," you start and look him up and down.

"You're quite used to being alone, aren't you?"

Your lips tighten, your hands stiff, and you are unable to finish your sentence. Absentmindedly, you rest them on your plump, pregnant belly. Alastor does his best not to let his eyes draw down to analyze it. Still, his head tilts, even just a little. He hates looking at your hands when you touch your stomach. Did his mother hold her belly like that when he was inside of hers?

"Don't you have others to talk to?"

"They're out on their little journeys, you know them."

"Of course."

Alas, he lets his eyes trail down to your stomach. It's not quite full, but it's obvious enough to gain attention from others. Charlie will put her hands on it every day, waiting for the baby to show its presence. She can feel the heartbeat, and so can you and Vaggie, though everybody else can't feel a thing. Alastor refuses to put a hand on your stomach. Life is precious and loud, and the few who were never human understand that differently than the others.

"I wanted to check in on the baby."

A twitch of your eyebrow makes his smile widen.

"Why?"

.

The day before, Lucifer arrived.

You try on your best clothes, laying them flat against your front, looking at your belly in the mirror. For the king, should you try to hide it or show it proudly? He has a daughter, but does that affect his thoughts about Hellborn pregnancies? Gosh, what do you have to worry about? So stupid.

With the other people, your new friends, you stood with your head proud.

He swirled with the dragons and hugged his daughter as if he hadn't seen her for years. What a kind man, unusually kind. His eyes... Those soft, precious eyes. And when they landed on you, your heart almost stopped. He looked at you as if you were an angel. When his lips started to move, the smile you didn't even know you wore faded.

Charlie put her hand on his shoulder and whispered something to him. And there came Alastor, saving the day.

"The idiotic king was just telling you how happy he is for you." With the signs came the grinding of his teeth.

Lucifer approached, his cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment. He addressed Alastor with aggressive hesitance. 'Tell her...' he said.

Charlie smiled excitedly, Nifty kept nodding, and Sir Pentious's eyes started tearing up.

Alastor grimaced. "He's asking if he could feel your stomach."

As always, you've put a thorn in the flow of interactions.

Still, you put on a smile. "Of course."

And there you stood, the King of Hell's hands gently holding you. You could feel the cold of his touch even through the fabric of your shirt. The heartbeat vibrated through both your body and his. The baby was alive and well; you could tell through the pure glee that spread across his face. Beyond your tiny ounce of worry, you knew he'd find hope within your baby.

Alastor watched with a terribly strained smile.

.

"Why?" You ask again when he doesn't answer. "What's with the sudden worry?"

"Worry? No, no." Alastor waves you off. "More like..."

You watch with interest as he trails off, a vulnerability you love.

He squints his eyes and clenches his fists, but only for a moment. His lack of vocabulary kills him. "...Intrigue."

You crack a smirk. "Are you finally gonna feel my stomach?"

Another pause. Alastor considers it, but all he can imagine is his claws accidentally drawing blood.

"No."

"That's okay." Again, your hands rest on your stomach.

.

Alastor has been watching it grow, but so has Lucifer. Charlie's father scarcely visits, and you've convinced yourself it's to see you. Every time he enters the hotel, he asks how you are. He tries to lift his hands to sign but finds no words forming. A language was created in his world, and he has yet to learn how to learn it.

Whenever he presses his hands against your belly, he can feel the liveliness of the soul forming inside you, and he can feel your appreciation at his care.

Begrudgingly, he always has to ask Alastor for advice on communicating with you. Alastor always has a cocky smirk when he teaches.

Charlie has to ask Alastor for help, too, but more willingly. Alastor raises his chin and squares shoulders when people ask him for help. Charlie went to him for help on a conversation you knew she was going to start with you:

"You're not going to stay here for the battle."

"I know." There was no argument on your behalf. Charlie's cheeks still went pink.

"But I have to figure out where it's safest for you. Alastor told me Cannibal Town, but uhh... Maybe not."

"They'll all be here anyway. Maybe they'll distract the angels from going over there."

Her bright eyes widen a bit. "Do you think so?"

"I can stay over there, even if they try to eat me." They won't, and even if they try, they know Alastor would end their lives, don't they?

She fiddles with her fingers before lifting them up again. "I suppose..."

She's so quickly convinced it's cute. You're right, though, of course. Cannibal Town might be the safest place, specifically under the hands of Rosie, who Alastor had previously told you would be more than willing to help you. You can imagine her smile at seeing your belly, twice the size as when Alastor first told you about her. Unbeknownst to Charlie, he's been planning this for a while.

Your stress for their safety irks you more than you expected.

You place a hand on Charlie's, lifting your other one. "I'll be okay."

Before you left for Cannibal Town, you met Lucifer once again, a more loving side of him. He cradled your head and held the back of your neck as he did. His cold body felt like warmth to you. He whispered things to you; you could only tell from how his breath constantly brushed against your ear in sing-songy waves. Was he singing to you? A lullaby? He pulled away and finally signed to you. "You're going to be a great mom."

A moment before, Alastor finally put his hands on your belly. His hands were warm. Like Lucifer, he was whispering to himself, holding silent words from you. In another life, you'd imagine they were prayers. At that moment, only an instinct, you put your hands on his, and he allowed it.

The stress of their safety worsened when they were left alone in Cannibal Town without a word of winning or losing.

The winning of Hell was all you wanted to focus on when you noticed the contractions getting worse, spaced out in purposeful ways. Oh goodness, you found yourself thinking, oh my God.

What if Lucifer dies on the same day your child is born?

But after the battle, he was right there to cradle the baby in his arms, his heavenly grasp relaxing the tiny baby. The rest of the group sat in your room, Sir Pentious absent, tears in their eyes at both the birth and the death.

Beyond Lucifer's cradling, Husk was the only one who touched your child that day. He placed his furry paw against the baby, feeling the body heat that they admitted. Life could be beautiful, he decided.

Vaggie's sense of revenge deepened. She sacrificed Heaven to save a child, and now she's even more than willing to kill her sisters to save yours.

While Charlie stares at your baby with tears, Alastor smiles warmly at you. He knew you could do it: birth something beautiful and worth protecting.

Your eyes are locked on Lucifer. He's an amazing, supportive dad to Charlie, and your heart begins to swell. Your heartbeat increases, and a blush weakly forms on your already flushed face. His rough hands hold a forgiving softness. He's beautiful.

[donovankinard]

Do you read any one direction fic/have any recs?

*chanting* FIC RECS FIC RECS FIC RECS

as we know there are so many incredible 1d authors out there. first off, just any works by @enchantedlandcoffee (same url on ao3) are my favourites, as are the works of @louisthiccsexyglitteryass (again same ao3 url) who has also done some betaing for me.

i mean....i obviously write 1d fics if that floats your boat too......

but i've got some individual recs from authors who i havent read a lot of their work; some of these are long, some are quite short, all of them are good, and they're all on ao3!

COMPLETE WORKS:

No Good Deed (Goes Unpunished) - JasTheLarrie (168k, larry, enemies to friends to lovers, kidfic au.... just beautiful writing)

Heart Beat - @allwaswell16/same ao3 url (35k, larry, advent fic, kidfic au, harry's had a crush since they were in high school. very very good plot, a little angsty around the edges. great christmastime fic.)

Now I've Got You In My Space - unscattered_horizons (160k, ziam, my all time favourite fic fs. genderqueer characters, slow burn, college au.... enemies to lovers but beautifully done. angsty but not just about the relationship, and so well written. truly couldnt pick a flaw in this fic, i love it so much.)

Pieces Of You - JamieJam93 (280k, larry/niam, a pretty old fic. very much centred around eating disorders so take care. everybodys traumatised! we love it.)

i'll knock on your door, it will save me from calling - @hl-obsessed/same ao3 url (5.8k, platonic zouis, larry, very angsty. written for round one of zaynsalbumsficfest, based on good years. very poignant. lovelovelove.)

All In - series by JasTheLarrie (120k, larry, flower shop au where louis' ex is absolutely awful. lots of platonic zouis. very cute fics, angsty in parts)

Bloom - Goldenhazandlou (48k, larry, 1950s au where harry and louis were in a secret relationship, and louis' granddaughter finds old diaries and photos of them. beautiful and poignant and tragically sad. makes me cry every time i reread it.)

Fix My Heart - SchwarzwalderKirschtorte (6.4k, mostly gen but also larry. sickfic, zayn comes back to the band, lots of angst. touches on a lot of mental health stuff, so take care. probably my favourite ever one shot tbh.)

Stars over Amsterdam - @hellolovers13/same ao3 url (4.7k, larry, enemies to lovers. the BEST eras tour au i have read in this fandom. hands down. you don't need to be a swiftie to appreciate the storyline here (although i am!))

And I'm Okay (With What I'm Not) - red_panda28 (6.6k, larry. for the 1d aroace fest, a very beautiful work based around asexuality and the sexualisation of the industry. really kind of made me rethink the way i view aspec people, for the better. incredible read)

WIPs I LOVE:

Shout Out To The Old Me - Strawberries_And_Cigarettes28 (15k so far, larry, internalised homophobia, café au, involves gemma a lot as a friend of louis. angsty but also quite funny. awesome fic)

Meet Me In Montauk - series by make_this_feel_like_home (94k so far, larry, amnesia au. tragically sad, absolutely fucking broke me; happy ending though so.)

this is absolutely *not* all of the 1d fics i love - this is just a selection of my favourites, ones that i've found myself coming back to time and time again. i hope you enjoy, anon!!

[cooking-with-hailstones]

I’m curious, what do you think about Zelda games and continuity in general? I know one point of contention with BOTW/TOTK is the “lack” of continuity which yeah, i get it. It could be better. However the Zelda series is not known for its continuity lol. Like, take OOT and MM for example. MM is supposed to be a sequel to OOT, right? Well, tbh it’s not a very good one. Besides the fact that Link is the same one from oot, and the happy mask salesman and skull kid return, it feels really disconnected from its predecessor. I think Twilight Princess fits more as a sequel to OOT than MM. I could go on and on but what are your thoughts?

Very good question! So yeah, I know that the Zelda games give 0 craps about consistent lore or continuity, which is fine! I think they put forward a lot of different and interesting ideas. As a fandom, and especially as writers, we can treat it like a buffet of ideas to sample and play around with.

You raise an interesting point with oot/mm. I think the difference between oot/mm is the fact that they have very little in common with each other. New map, new characters, a completely different concept. There's a lot of mechanics that are the same but it really feels like you're in a new universe with the same aesthetics as the previous one, and that's about it.

I think TOTK stands out to people because it is a direct sequel with only a few years between them in-universe, but there is very little story, lore, and setting continuity between botw and totk. If it were a whole new game with a new slate of characters and a new map, I don't think the discrepancies would feel as jarring. That being said, I really love totk as a game! It's fantastic and I've sunk at least 100 hours in.

However, botw remains my favourite game because: botw is a gesamkunstwerk. TOTK is not a gesamkunstwerk.

And now here's my very long tangent about this:

I'm sure I've seen a video talking about this idea before but basically, a gesamkunstwerk is a German term for "total work of art." Coined by the composer Richard Wagner (whom we do not like, but his ideas were very influential), a gesamkunstwerk is a large scale work where everything reinforces each other. It is "a work of art that makes use of all or many art forms, or strives to do so." So in opera, for example, this would be how the orchestra, the costumes, the text, the music, the set pieces, everything comes together to tell one unified story.

I believe botw is a good example of a gesamkunstwerk: the open world setting serves the narrative framework, the Sheikah technology is incorporated seamlessly into the game mechanics, the story is scattered throughout the world for you to discover, but everything is still centered around your final goal and the narrative arc you're meant to travel. You're meant to explore, meet people, hone your skills, then face off against the final foe that you've been staring in the face for the whole game. You're meant to discover the world, to do all these things, as the player and as Link. Everything in botw reinforces everything else. It's not a perfect game by any means but it is incredibly well crafted.

And while totk improves on all the things in BOTW, it loses the cohesiveness that tied the first game together. I find that totk fights itself in a lot of ways. It didn't commit to being a linear game but it clearly has a linear path in mind (hello dragons tears...I am so glad a friend of mine told me to do them in order) The integration of zonai and Sheikah mechanics made no sense to me. The sages... Good gravy the sages...

Anyways this turned into a much longer post than I intended, but I hope this all made sense.

[ivymarquis]

💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕

Weeeeee lets gooooo (links going to my ao3). Also this has been sitting here since may lmao my bad I am incredibly slow. This might be too many examples but OH WELLLLLLLL~

Late Bloomer is one of my faves that I've written. More or less all of my kinks eventually lead back to the Rome that is breeding kink with me, and this one basically incorporates all of those. I'm a sucker for some good a/b/o, breeding, etc.,

Happy isn't really one of my better known fics (that I'm aware of, anyway), and if I was the type of person who was able to consistently work on long fics I could have made a good one with this concept but like..... lowkey the overarching summary vibe kinda works for me

All Good Things Same thing- not one of my more popular fics, but I love this one. It explores the dynamics of the cult vs hope county locals a bit, is soft with Jacob and Shiloh hedging around each other. I know most people are for the raunchy porn and I gladly deliver but sometimes I want my soft shit

Better Late Than Never Same as above, but Jacob deserves a nap and the family he always wanted. This man absolutely had aspirations of breaking the cycle and the way he continues to perpetuate it via the trials is something that I just cannot shake.

Quality Over Quantity This one was just unfettered filth. My thought process was "Jacob would probably have some weird breeding shit going on with the Chosen right???? He treats people like cattle there's no way this is where he draws the line." Low key could gone either way because I don't actually recall any female chosen in game so like..... either few female chosen being hunted by a gaggle of dudes or like....a hoard of women hand picked and sequestered away solely for- ANYWAY I'M A GODLESS WHORE

What You Want** This is a lesson in why I don't write multi-parters other than one shots and the occasional sequel (See: Late Bloomer). It took 3 (!!!!) years to write this shit lmfao Scratches the same itches as Late Bloomer but also has Jacob-esque mind fuckery directed @ the Deputy CC coded tbh, and just all around a darker vibe which I love.

Apex Predator** Re-reading back on the first chapter, I did a way better job on this than I felt when I initially published it. I still wanna work on this but alas 1) COD brainrot has me in a chokehold right now 2) Please refer back to how it took me 3 years to write a 3 part fic, and this is gonna be a big ol multichapter piece. Imma be working on this shit when they drop FC 10 LMAO. But God just all the ideas I've got for Jacob and CC? They're gonna drive each other insane.

** What You Want and Apex Predator are dark fics for those of you not already familiar with them, click with caution and read the fing tags lol

I like how there is one overwatch fic and I'm not even really that big of a Genji girl myself and then the rest of this is just my deranged obsession with a 40-something cannible.

[colorisbyshe]

what are your favorite albums of all time? choose as many as you want idek

Oh, is this inspired by my "details" post? Hmm, okay, let's try this:

"Good Apollo I'm Burning Star IV, Vol. 1" by Coheed and Cambria. It's a concept album and I could not tell you the fucking concept outside of like... misogyny and violence. AND YET... it has stood the test of time. The guitar on every song FUCKS. Interesting vocal tone. Experimental and nonsensical FUN rock music.

"Europop" by Eiffel 65. The blue da ba dee album. The rest of it is really fucking good pop electronica. Or it's just so nostalgic to me I can't see how generic it is. IDC, the synth goes oFF without being too high energy.

"Details" by Frou Frou, obviously. Similarly, "Speak For Yourself" by Imogen Heap. While these albums don't contain my FAVORITE songs involving Imogen, they are my fave collections of her work. Music that feels like nostalgia--like guzzling a sparkling potion that bubbles inside you and pushes your sadness and fears and LOVE from your heart into your pores. Pop music for people who care about storytelling, lyrics, and true emotional connection.

"Multitude" by Stromae. Another, "Idk if fmy fave songs are on this album, but the project on the whole is the best one." Diverse sound, brilliant execution every time.

"Heart Station" by Utada Hikaru. Choosing a favorite Utada piece is hard but I think this has the tightest collection of tracks? Similar appeal to Imogen, though the musical influences are ethereal in a different way.

"Las Ruinas" by Rico Nasty. It's hard to even describe this album but I like how Rico keeps pushing new boundaries. I do like the dancier tracks here.

"Alive 2007" by Daft Punk.If you know Daft Punk, this is essentially a megamix of some of their best songs.

"Coloris" by She. Chiptune, electronica, idk how to describe this album. Feels like your brain is being carbonated.

"Renaissance by Beyonce." Sorry, such a generic answer I feel but... she did it. She put all her power into a dance album with diverse sound, making it all accessible without being watered down.

"Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge" by MCR because duh.

"Commit this to Memory" by Motion City Soundtrack. If you were an emo kid and wanted to kill yourself in the mid 2000s, you know this album. Even if it Kills Me is a close second, btw. Or My Dinosaur Life. I love a lot of MCS tbh. It's emo... pop rock, not surprising for me.

"eMOTIVe" by A Perfect Circle. It's alt rock. It's anti-war and depressing. "Passive" was playing in my head 24/7; I'd mentally turn it into an AMV every single day fo my life for like a year. I wrote a poem about it. "Thirteenth Step" is a very close second.

Technically, it should be "Hold Your Colour" by Pendulum, since it got me into Drum & Bass but I prefer the rockier depths of "Immersion."

"The Happy Star" Lexie Liu. Experimental pop music that reinvents itself each track, sampling from different genres. I just find it really enjoyable and keep returning to it. Might be recency bias.

"333" by Tinashe. An album tht contains the whole human experience--sadness to horniness. Good for her. You can dacne AND cry? Good for you.

"Remember that You Will Die" by Polyphia. Largely instrumental... prog rock meets trap meets electronica?

Choosing a one direction album feels like being threatened at gun point so I won't. Just know they belong here.

"Making Mirrors" by Gotye. People mock him for disappearing after someone that i used to know BUT DID YOU STREAM THE ALBUM?? Jazzy at times, rocky at times, psychedelic at times, BUT DID YOU LSITEN????

The Sims (Original Soundtrack). If you don't get it, I'm not explaining. Kill yourself.

"Perfect Velvet" by Red Velvet. I do think this album is the best kpop has to offer and I'm not fucking joking. I think SM put so much of their pussy in this track, it made their downfall years later inevitable. SM music is so sketchy now because the entir ecompany sold their souls (and pussies, bussies, and extraneous holes) for this album. "I Just" and "Kingdom Come" alone are like... god tier. R&B by a kpop group done CORRECTLY.

"Reborn" by Kavinsky. Feels like alternate timeline Daft Punk, including the The Weeknd knock off track. I couldn't... not love it.

Foster the People's "Supermodel." This alt-rock album got to me when I was profoudnly mentally ill in college and never let me go.

"Season of Poison" by Shiny Toy Guns. I love their first album just as much, tbh, but the anger feels like it's aged better. This album feels like a God's retribution. It feels a religious experience, including all the scary kinds.

"What's Your PLeasure?" by Jessie Ware. Disco-y pop. Sensual. Slick. Longing.

"1 of 1" by Shinee. CHoosing a Shinee album was HARD. Incredible kpop. If you want SIIIINGERS, COME HERE LISTEN OT THEMMM.

and if I didn't want Brendon Urie dead it would be a fever you can't sweat out btu I literally can' tlisten to his voice without my stomache hurting so

I'm probably missing a bunch but these are the first to come ot mind while quickly scrollin thru my phone

feel free to ask me my fave tracks off the album or by these artists

[freakygirlie]

Hi. Itk here. Believe me, don't, doesn't matter. Thought I'd drop (after you summoned ha) by given the chaos and try to enlighten the ones who choose to believe me, as much as I'm capable of.

The first thing I wanna say is: stop trying to figure out their relationship. You most likely never will. Fans are stuck on both extremes, when the actuality of it is far more in the middle (perhaps even up or down and all around ha). It's complex and strange and not at all "normal" (as normal as they could be, anyways).

It's not as simple as "oh they're just a closeted couple who engage in bearding and have kids and behind closed doors they're just a regular, old married couple and a big, happy rainbow family".

Doesn't sound like itk info, believe me, I get that but observing the fandom I'd say it almost is because most fans simply hang on extreme simplistic ideas of what their relationship is.

Second thing I'd like to say and unfortunately seems like it's not at all obvious but: do not believe anything they share publicly. Not saying they're lying compulsively, but they are public figures and they have a lot at stake to just casually drop the actual truth of any given situation.

Just don't. The same salt you have regarding itks, have towards them. It'd do you some good...Believe me. Unless you are involved in the entertainment or political life, you cannot even begin to fathom what it's really like, the level of manipulation, falsehood and well, overall deviation of it. It's quite disturbing tbh. So just always take whatever's said and shown with a good amount of salt. With public people hardly anything is accidental or casual.

I think the most prominent question now is...Why? Why would they do something like that? Regardless if you have the ingenuity to believe the little scene they made or not...Still, the question lingers.

With my level of "in the knowness" I cannot for sure say the real reason, yet from the pieces I've collected so far, seems to be a multiple gain scheme. It was a high risk, they were well aware, and it paid out in the way they were expecting, minus small bumps here and there. But overall it seemed to have worked in their favor. How in the hell, one would ask?

Believe me, I used my best sneaky capabilities to find out exactly why but they were smart enough to keep this one locked tight, minus a few loose lips. And from those all I've heard was that "whatever the purpose was, it worked out".

As weird as it may sound to the innocent mind, it's actually not at all, given that even leaked nudes are not at all leaked or accidental, and those tend to (at least in the past) get immense amount of backlash. It's not the first time famous folks fake a fight, surely won't be the last.

A lot goes into public image, it's not black and white as "well but it looked bad on Jensen", "it looked bad on the prequel", etc. You'd be surprised as how little this truly matters given the level of manipulation they are able to pull on the public. And well, even with them...It happens all the time. Both made mistakes far worse than just "not telling my bestie about my new project" and fans would eventually let that go and put them back on the pedestal.

So just remember, always: not in the industry? then don't judge anything because you simply do not understand how it works.

Another piece of itk information I can give besides "this was planned and it worked" is: they are fine. From what I've heard they are not fighting over it or going through anything more dramatic than what they usually have been going through ever since they met haha.

So just sit back and chill out. Breathe, read fanfiction and remember that we will never truly get answers, because even what comes out of their mouths are most of the time carefully thought out and directed to have a specific meaning and effect (why do you think Jared mumbles and rambles so much?).

Another interesting piece of itk: you know how they always say they never fight? Even though that sounds insanely hard to believe even if they were just friends because who knows someone for that long and is constantly together and never fights? Unlikely, right? Yes, as obvious as that was. But unfortunately a lot of you seem to believe that, given the level of shock you had for this little twitter feud (as fake as it was). Yeah. They fight. A lot.

They fight as much as individuals in their situation would. Like I said, not at all what most people absentmindedly seem to think it is. They go through a lot. Way more than anyone who isn't in a similar situation would understand. It's messy, although they try their best to make it simpler in the ways they can.

On top of being in a very complex situation, they both have strong personalities and one of them is quite hard to "pin down". So altercations happen a lot, but they know how to deal, and they are exceptionally good at making sure that doesn't interfere in their work (oh well, at least not any work that doesn't benefit from intense emotional exchanges, anyways 😉...chemistry isn't something random, you know? haha).

I find it quite...interesting (to put it nicely) that a lot of hats easily believe they are a couple that lies constantly about almost every aspect of their lives, yet, they cannot believe they would fake a social media narrative. It makes no sense whatsoever.

It'd do you all good to be a little less tendentious and look at them as, you know...Humans? They are not what they seem to be, just as you guys also take in different versions of yourselves in different situations, they do too. And don't be so hopelessly naive to actually believe they see fans as "hashtag family". This is their work. And as grateful as they are for supporters, they certainly do not consider them family. To the point of never lying and trusting you with their life.

I'm sure they love their fans, but come on, saying they would never lie because that's mean to fans is just beyond naive. They've been doing it all along and oh, another interesting info? They don't think they're doing anything wrong.

Yeah, sounds weird, you'd think they'd feel guilty. But again, unless you were media trained, you'd never get it.

From years now if there's one consistent info I've gotten was this: they don't feel obligated to tell you anything. They believe they are doing "what they are supposed to do, the right thing for everyone involved".

So. Yeah. And hell, they are right about not being obligated to say anything about anything, I guess.

Well, I hope that was helpful or at least entertaining. It's hard to share info without accidentally making it obvious who I am for the lurkers (sure you guys were well aware that they lurk around the fandom). But it's safe because as long as I don't provide evidence, I'm fine. Just walking a thin line between sharing and not sharing something too specific that would be easy fir them to know who has that info and although they can't do anything against itks, they can manage to cut us off somehow and I enjoy having access lol, so that'd be a bummer.

Anyways, take itks and J2 themselves with a ton of salt haha! You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!

itk anon everything you said was <333 and i agree with like almost all of it. very nice analysis and ask thank you ! i don't always believe everything j2 put out but the whole stunt being a false narrative just seems wrong so idk what to make of it. regardless i myself can sometimes get carried away in my star-struck love of j2. and i am a tinhat so well :) and now they look to be really good and taking a break from here was well worth it <3

''You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!'' i love u so much hope u have a great day !

[apixrl]

SINCERELY, YOURS.

hanta sero x fem!reader

WARNING(S): none

word count: 3.0k

song: sincerely, yours // nohidea

note(s): i just think that he'd be the perfect hubby tbh (EDIT: I'M SO DUMB I POSTED W/O TAGS PFAHAHHA)

Hanta finally managed to force open the door to the log cabin that had long been awaiting your arrival, the wooden structure welcoming the approaching warmth and laughter of the newly wedded couple. The ravenette smirked joyously and let out a triumphant 'hoorah', your laughter only adding to the display of ego on his face.

"And you said I'd drop you," Hanta mocked your earlier words, looking down at you with that very same smirk. If not for your arms wrapped around his neck and entire weight held in his arms, you most likely would have pushed his face away by the cheek. To avoid that shit-eating, joking smirk that rarely left his dumb and lovable face. The face you fell for so undoubtedly swift and heavy.

"I didn't say you would I said you may drop me," Was your response. "It's not every day we walk through so much snow!"

"Hush now, that was nothing to me," Hanta lifted the arm that supported your back, planting his lips on your forehead in a sweet welcoming kiss. Your lips curled in approval, accepting the gesture as Hanta used his foot to close the door behind you both, driving away the cold breeze from outside as warmth replaced it. "Now would you look at this place!"

Heeding Hanta's words, your eyes averted from his addicting gaze to the bonnie log cabin interior set out before you two. From left to right the cabin maintained an earthy theme, consistent in wooden textures excluding that of the supple beige sofas in the centre of the room. They were accompanied with ripening red cushions, as well as a few other pieces of furniture containing the same colour to maintain an advertising aesthetic no doubt. Lengthy beams stretched from one end of the walls to the other, set out in rows. The deepest wall (opposite to the entrance) was made mostly out of glass and onlooking a gorgeous snowy forest scene, small golden lights lit up outside to only add to the aura already presented. Built-up by red bricks and extending up toward the ceiling was a great open fireplace, already sparked alight and sensing a contrasting warmth to the bitter cold outdoors. In the corner of the room were a set of stairs most likely directing themselves off to the bedroom, though you and Hanta were so taken by the bottom floor's interior neither of you even processed there were more rooms to see.

"Wow... this place is gorgeous!" You said through a whisper, face lighting up at the sight. Never had you thought a place could be so beautifully arranged and so beautiful in general, and the two of you had this place to yourselves for an entire two weeks... it made you feel like the luckiest person alive! That you were really, as you'd just tied the knot the love of your life and were starting an entirely new journey with him. From the very moment you'd both uttered 'I do' in front of all your friends and family - the paths you lead became one that you would waltz down together.

"So you like it then?" Hanta asked, ebony eyes trailing away from the open fire and down to your own E/C irises. His smirk slowly transitioned to an endearing grin upon seeing your face of wonder, heart skipping a beat as your gaze met his and your expression mirrored.

"Of course! It's just how I imagined it - even more stunning than the pictures online," Your hand grazed Hanta's gloved one, though the barricade of wool and cotton did nothing to prevent the love and desire sent through the tips of your fingers. The ravenette admired your beauty in that lingering stare shared between you, exhaling a content sigh. You never failed to astound him with your beauty, the way your eyes glowed whenever you looked at him. How your hair fell perfectly into place no matter the circumstance (even on your worst of hair days you somehow managed to make it work). Not to mention your smile and laugh - those specific factors alone making Hanta fall for you over and over and exceeding limits of love and admiration he didn't even think he possessed.

Just before Hanta was to fall into daydream you shook him out his thoughts, the shifting of weight in his arms struck him to shake out of it, realising that you were attempting to shuffle out his arms in order to stand. So he let you down, grip loosening and reluctantly allowing you to step away.

"I'm glad," He quickly uttered, his hand lifting to his head to remove the woolly hat resting there. Then he proceeded to unbutton his winter coat as did you, the pair of you making light work of it due to the excitement of exploring your temporary home.

"So our suitcases are already here?" You asked Hanta, straightening out your knitted turtleneck jumper which was a soft pink shade. Usually something you wouldn't wear, but it was well-suited for the weather and didn't irritate your skin. So you took advantage of the purchase. From your left Hanta hummed softly, turning towards you once he was done hanging his coat on the rack. He too had a turtleneck on, but his donned a collect of abstract patterns and stuck to more neutral colours than yours.

"Yep, they should be upstairs," Hanta replied, running a hand through his hair as he looked over at you. He shifted over to your side, hugging you from behind with a mischievous chuckle. "But we can unpack tomorrow,"

"I like the idea of that, I just wanna snuggle," You responded with a giggle, leaning back into your husband's hold. After a few seconds Hanta stepped forwards, forcing your feet to follow suit. The ravenette guided you both to the nearest sofa, where he messily fell back against the ruby red cushions and you alongside him.

"That's because you procrastinate more than you've ever been willing to admit," Hanta turned you over so you sat atop his middle, hands settled on your hips like they were structured to hold them. There was a smirk on his face as you rolled your eyes at his last comment.

"I procrastinate because you distract me," You corrected, poking his chest with a prominent finger.

"Ah well, what can I say? I'm just that pretty aren't I?" He replied, laughing joyously. You couldn't help but echo with your own form of a chuckle, shaking your head as the smile on your face sent Hanta all kinds of elated emotions through his veins.

"You're not wrong there, Tiger," You grinned ear to ear, staring lovingly in his direction. Words weren't enough to express how much you loved him, your mind struggling to form sentences most of the time with just how much he took your breath away. In truth, you would have allowed yourself to remain gazing into Hanta's eyes the entire night. But you were due to catch sight of an envelope on the coffee table next to you both, drawing your attention away from him as fast as it came. The item too out of the ordinary to ignore. Peculiarly you leaned over to grab it, tilting your head at the item.

"What's that?"

"I don't know," Was your answer. Your fingers proceeded to slit open the top, discovering a smaller, folded piece of paper inside. Curiously you opened it up, voice filling the room as you discovered golden ink was printed on one side and intended to read it out.

" Dear Mr and Mrs Sero,

We are beyond pleased that you chose to stay with us for your honeymoon. Have a wonderful and splendid time at the start of your journey together and we wish you nothing but happiness and joy during your stay.

Kindest regards,

[resort/name] "

"Mr and Mrs Sero," Hanta repeated with a thoughtful stare to the wooden beams above. "I'm still not used to hearing that and we've already been married a week," A smile formed on his lips, releasing a chuckle from the depths of his chest. Almost like he couldn't believe the words he had just uttered. Tilting your head, you pondered on what he meant.

"How do you mean?" You didn't receive an answer straight away, the man you called your husband gently sighed, almost with the case of the lovesick. Somewhere during the exhale Hanta's eyes fell from the beamed ceiling and onto you, gratitude threaded in his expression as he stared at you.

"I just don't know how I got so lucky to marry someone like you," His hand extended to cup your cheek, cradling the slightly chilled part of your face (thanks to the cold air and wind from outside) as his thumb stroked the surface of your skin. Your eyes widened, all too used to the gesture but rarely ever prepared for it whenever Hanta committed to it. You smiled, nuzzling into his warm hold as your eyes closed.

"Me too," You hummed, sighing out yourself as your heart fluttered higher and higher with each passing second. A short silence ensued, ending as you abruptly let out a little laugh. It caught Hanta's attention, his head cosying into the cushion behind him as his brows raised.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about the night you proposed. That's all," Another laugh escaped, humour striking you as you recalled how it had played out. From the manner your lover rolled his eyes, he clearly still hadn't emotionally recovered from it.

"That stupid fire pit," He groaned, eyes closing in annoyance. "I can't believe I let it ruin the moment,"

"I don't think that was the fire's intention, Hants,"

Despite being blatantly confident and bold, when it came to more... intimacy-related things, Hanta Sero's expertise dwindled dangerously. It had taken him months of knowing you to actually ask you out on a date, and when you finally got together? Well, it took him four years before he began to think about popping the question - three months more to actually pop it. Whilst you did say yes once he got down on one knee on the balcony of your holiday home for your fourth anniversary together, the events that proceeded after were what truly traumatised the poor ravenette.

Your holiday was spent somewhere in the Caribbean at a beachside residence that locals rented out for tourists. You and Hanta had always been big on travelling, hence your honeymoon location being such an unconventional place. Or as far as you knew, you didn't have an exact number on how many honeymoons were spent in remote mountain ranges surrounded by blustering winds and snow. It was a nice change of pace to the intense heats nearer the Equator.

During that vacation in particular though, that was the year Hanta finally decided to propose. After a long day on the beach, swimming in the ocean and feeling the sand between your toes as evening approached, you watched the sunset on the balcony of the second floor, neighbouring your bedroom. To set the mood the firepit in the centre had been lit, creating a stunning orange glow in Hanta's eyes as he held you close to his chest.

You noticed he was quite fidgety in his seat, wondering what was wrong with your lover as he gripped his knee tight. Like he was uncomfortable or nervous. Like he needed to get something off of his chest. It was only when you pointed out your concern and his odd behaviour that Hanta managed to shift his stance. Moving from his stiff position to wobbling on one knee, then came the heartfelt speech that gave you a sense of where he was going. A subtle reach into his pocket and before you knew it, you were shouting yes into the night sky and your eyes foggy with tears of complete and utter joy.

Hanta placed the ring on your finger, the realisation hitting him at that moment that you and he were engaged. His excitement got the better of him, the male sweeping you in his arms and swinging you around as he babbled sweet nothings into your ear. The speed wavered his balance, his leg knocking into the table holding a bottle of wine he had ordered specifically for the occasion. Much to both of your bad luck, it all collapsed against the firepit and tipped it over - and one can only imagine what happened next. A rather chaotic ruckus erupted between you as Hanta grabbed you by the waist and flung you both out of the building via the balcony to ensure your safety. Then he 'thwipped' straight back up to the fire and frantically searched for the fire extinguisher to put it out, all whilst you sat on the sandy ground outside, frozen to how drastically the mood had changed.

Luckily the fire didn't spread too far. If not for Hanta's efficiency in dealing with it upfront, it could have spread to the bedroom and the rest of the house. It did not, however, the most damage being the balcony sofas that were scorched no thanks to their wooden frame and white cushioning.

Despite having just been engaged, there wasn't much you and Hanta could do to celebrate. So the night ended with you and he falling to slumber in the early hours of the morning, too exhausted after dealing with the owners' wrath after the slight mishap of nearly setting their building ablaze.

"At least you didn't burn the entire house down," You tried after a few seconds of quiet, earning a scoff on Hanta's part as he ran a hand through his hair.

"It felt like it when I called the owner's to tell them what happened," Hanta answered, softly frowning at the shrieking yells he heard during that call ringing their way through his mind again. Long after he'd shut them out based on the humiliation of being on the receiving end. You giggled, recalling how you were able to hear them despite the phone not being on speaker.

"I'm surprised they let us stay for the rest of the week,"

"That's because I paid the money for the damage caused within six hours of them demanding it," Hanta reminded you, dragging his hands down his face as he groaned out. Probably expelling his inner cringe at his foolishness that night. "Times like that make me relieved I'm a top ten pro, helps out with emergencies a great fucking deal,"

"Are you sure that didn't play any part in their generosity? That you're a top ten pro?"

"No way," He said and sat up to meet your height, hands looping to cradle the small of your back. He held back continuing to briefly peck you on the lips. "The bill they gave me was the complete opposite of generous,"

"How much was it again?" You asked, memory not serving you the answer. The ebony-haired male leaned forwards to kiss you again before he moved his lips up to your ear. His voice became a whisper, telling the sum in Yen which made your eyes widen in astonishment.

"Wow," Was your instinctive reply, Hanta scoffing a laugh in agreement based on your tone of surprise. It was there he nuzzled into your neck, inhaling through his nose to catch a whiff of your scent. The aroma acting as a sedative to wipe the memory from his mind permanently. All he wished to remember of that night was the way your face lit up as he asked you to take his hand in marriage. How your tears formed and how your lips uttered the words he had oh, so desperately wanted to hear after months and months of worry of being rejected.

And look at you both now; husband and wife and on your honeymoon. Holding each other as close as close can be with no doubt or hesitancy in your minds at all. Why he had worried so much was something he would never be able to figure out. As looking back, all of it felt like the easiest thing he had ever had to do.

Due to that, Hanta smiled into your neck. The change could have been missed, but you were far too attentive to not notice. The feeling of his cheeks shaping his smile made you smile as well, your arms wrapping around Hanta's neck in a desperate need to pull him closer. Your fingers ghosted the back of his neck, tickling the hairs that attached with care like no other. You rested your chin on his head, eyes closed gently in comfort. In response, Hanta hummed lowly, hands starting to rub up and down your back like he was giving you a massage.

Silence passed, the two of you simply enjoying the other's company and the intimate moment you had welded together. The proximity created a warmth that could fight any cold, the fireplace behind you both unneeded to fight the swirling snow outside. Your eyes peaked open as the faint crackle of the fire nearby caught your attention. You watched the flames dance for a second or so before you plucked up the confidence to speak.

"Just... let's not set fire to this place. Alright?" You mused, holding your breath as you waited for Hanta's response. Luckily he didn't dismiss it, actually finding the comment quite funny. He voiced a blurt of a laugh, head shaking as much as he could make it whilst it buried into the depths of your neck. Hanta's mouth opened to make his reply, quickly hushing up again to return to the peaceful silence of before, not at all ready to let it go just yet.

"Agreed,"

[misssugarlips]

Oblivion

Pairing: Bucky x fem!reader

Warnings: +18 angst, rape (not from Bucky), a little fluff by the end, swearing, this is so sad tbh

A/N: hey guys! this one shot is different from my others, is sad and there are rape mentions, I haven't been through that, the truth is I tried to write it the best I could, I apologize in advance if I offend someone. This is inspired in the Grimes song Oblivion. There's gonna be a second part to this so...hope you like it! I apologize for any mistake, english is my second language. Gif isn't mine

You still remembered that night, in fact you would always remember it. You left your house around 10pm, slammed the door and put on your headphones. The streets were deserted and dark there was no one around you, a few lights coming out of the houses barely lit your way. Tears were streaming hot down your flushed face. The fight with your mother had left you very affected, you did the best you could and it was never enough, you tried to get a 10 in all your subjects and behave like a good girl, but it was never enough, that 9 had unleashed the fury of your mother making her yell at you. She had affected you a lot and you were already tired so you found yourself in the lonely night listening to music on your mp3 player. You just walked, you didn't know where to go, you didn't have a specific destination. You went through an alley and there were some nasty men smoking. You tried to get out of there but they cornered you.

"What is doing such a pretty girl alone on these streets?" The man cornered you into the alley wall, the smell of beer combined with his breath made you nauseous.

"Please let me go" you begged in a low whisper.

"So innocent, and beautiful" the man caressed your cheek with his callused and dirty hand. You started shaking, you just wanted to get out of there. The man forcefully kissed you leaving traces of saliva on your lips, it was so disgusting that you gagged causing the man to slap you. You cried louder still, you tried to defend yourself to run to some place where you could find someone to help you, but the other man grabbed you from behind immobilizing you, covering your mouth with his hand and with his other hand he kept your hands behind you in a strong grip that was starting to hurt your wrists.

The man in front of you was touching your body obscenely, he tore your jeans ripping them and got rid of your underwear too. He left you exposed and helpless. You were trembling with fear, you knew that you would not get out of this. Through your tears you could see in the distance a tall figure, was a man, he was wearing a mask and his hair was long, he was dressed completely in black.

You tried to bite the hand of the man behind you holding you, he removed his hand from your mouth releasing a groan of pain and you took the opportunity to ask for help from the guy with long hair, he stared into your eyes.

"Help! Please help!" You screamed with all the strength that you had left, your lungs ached and the air was short of you. The man ran quickly where he came from and that's when your faith was completely dissolved, this was your destiny. You prayed to God to grant you death, you would rather die than continue witnessing the stripping of your being.

"Shut up bitch" the man behind you slapped you. "If you're still a little brat, I'll disfigure that pretty face of yours" he squeezed your neck with his hands. You could no longer bear what they were doing to you, you closed your eyes letting life decide your destiny. You vanished. A little 16 year old girl would never be the same again.

Bucky woke up scared, sweating. That nightmare again. Your eyes haunted him every night, reminding him that he couldn't help you. But what could he do? Hydra had screwed up his head, and if there wasn't an order specifically saying to save you, there was nothing he could do. Guilt haunted him every day, every time he saw you in the kitchen, in the living room, in the meeting room. He seriously tried to make amends for what he had done, every day he gave you flowers, he made you breakfast, he tried to make your life easier and as happy as possible. Of course you didn't know that Bucky was the man who could have saved you that night. You thought he was very cute and chivalrous, you were falling in love with him more and more every day, but you didn't have the courage to confess your feelings to him, the truth was that you didn't have the courage to do many things, and less when it came to men you stopped trust them a long time ago, it was difficult for you to live with them or talk with them, since that day you have never been able to regain the social skills that you used to have.

With Bucky was different, he and Tony your cousin, they were the only ones you felt comfortable with. Steve was very cute, Sam and Clint too but you weren't ready to have the trust you had with Bucky and Tony with them. The boys understood it, and tried to be as understanding as possible. Natasha had told them what had happened to you years ago after they spent days begging her to tell them what was the ordeal that had made you become the person you are now.

Bucky had more than earned your trust, after getting rid of Hydra and being welcomed into the Tower as an avenger. He began his search to find you, he followed you very closely, until one day he dared to speak to you. He had promised himself to make your life the best he could, Bucky didn't expect to redeem himself, he did not believe that he could ever redeem himself or forgive himself for what he did or rather for what he did not do .

Bucky approached you in fear, seeing the eyes that haunted him in his nightmares in person terrified him. At first you only spoke to him distantly and your answers were summarized in "yes" and "no"

Seeing your beautiful face vis a vis was an epiphany for him, your face had that childish and scared air even though you were in your 24s. Your eyes revealed pain, they showed how broken you were inside, everything that had been taken from you would never be yours again. Since that day he had been captivated by your beauty and he felt stronger the obligation to be able to make you happy. Later he would discover that you were nothing more and nothing less than Stark's cousin and sometimes you helped Tony in the laboratory since you had an engineering degree. You were just as impressed as he was, the man you had met months ago in the cafeteria and who had been so attentive to you was part of Tony's group of heroes.

Bucky knocked on your door softly, he waited for you to leave your room with a tray in his hands where he had a delicious breakfast waiting for you. You opened the door to find a smiling Bucky carrying a breakfast tray.

"Good morning, doll" Bucky greeted.

"Hi Buck, come in" you smiled at him letting him go into your room. "You can leave breakfast on the table sir, thank you" you joked posing him as a butler. Bucky laughed, patting a space next to him on your bed for you to sit next to him. You took a seat next to him looking at the food, Bucky intimidated you a little, but not in the way other men did, with him you felt comfortable and safe. Only his large, muscular figure made you feel small and his eyes made a warmth emanate from your body.

"It looks delicious, thank you" you gave him a little kiss on his cheek. "I never said it was for you" said Bucky trying to hold back a smile for joking with you. You gently tapped his arm laughing at him, he smiled at you. The tray still rested on his lap. He chopped a piece of pancake and directed it to your mouth "Open up, I'm going to feed you"

"It is not necessary I can eat on my own, in fact since I am 4 I can do it" you replied, you tried to take the fork from his hand but he pushed you away directing the food to your mouth, you opened your mouth eating the piece of pancake letting Bucky feed you. The truth was it didn't bother you that he fed you you found it sweet, but you would never let him know. "Here, orange juice. Lots of vitamin C" he winked at you and you could feel yourself slowly melting away. You've never felt this way with anyone in your life, and you didn't think you could feel that way with someone else.

Bucky saw you with loving eyes, he loved being with you, if it were up to him he would spend all day and every day by your side, but that would make it very creepy and he didn't want to scare you. His love for you had been growing every day. He knew very well that one day he would have to tell you what he knew, and he was afraid, he was afraid that you would turn away from him. That you treat him for what he really was: a monster.

Thanks for reading! Remember there's gonna be a second part, please leave your thoughts in the comments❤❤❤

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 2486

today was a really good day.

joel got his cast off and is now in a boot that he can take off for things. yay!

graduation was fuckin hot. but it was wonderful! it was at the baseball stadium in manchester, and the graduates (we) were sitting on chairs on the field. in the sun. in black polyester gowns and hats. thankfully there was a breeze, and it didn't go the full two hours i had anticipated it being.

and honestly, it was really cool. when i graduated from UNHM, it was a standard-faire 4-year-university graduation. this one recognized the hard work of each student and the diversity in the graduating class, took pride in it. and that was really beautiful.

but back to the beginning.

directions were unclear tbh. once i found where i was supposed to go, i made my way down a long/ass hill to the check-in point for students. after checking in and stopping by the ptk table to grab my cords, i went to the table next to it, and i was given this envelope. inside was a medal that was placed around my neck by the person handling the packets. a bright smile on my face at my second-ever medal, i went and found my seat on the other side of the field. after a bit of curiosity, i opened the packet. i found a letter inside. the letter was from the school. (obviously.) but what it said i was humbled by.

the letter told me that i had been given the recipient of the academic excellence award for the math and physics department.

i could tell by the nomination blurb that i had been nominated by dr. noah. i read the letter four times, and i looked at my medallion, and i cried. i called my aunt who had called me a minute before and i told her and my mother about it. my mom cried too.

the commencement speaker spoke about her experience as an ICU nurse and as a air force national guard medic helping distribute vaccines. but what i really got from her speaking about her experiences in nursing dealing with covid-19 was that humanity is resilient. people are hardy. we as communities are built stronger than the challenges we face. and sure, shit gets hard. we've dealt with a global pandemic, a wildly and debilitatingly traumatizing event, and come out on the other end. maybe a little worse for wear, maybe a lot worse for wear. but we've come out the other end. we as individuals and as communities will persevere, regardless of what we face. more than ever, i felt that. and that had me in tears.

we had all been given pieces of paper with our names on them and we had been lined up in alphabetical order by seat (i was by where the shortstop would be), and as we went up to receive our "diplomas," we were to give the person who called the names the paper so they knew who we were as they announced us going by. president bicknell handed out the folders and congratulated us each as we went by. as i walked down the first base line, i saw both dr lamontagne and dr eckhardt sitting in the front row of the professors! they waved and cheered as i walked by, and i waved and smiled back. i made a heart with my hands at them, and they made hearts back!! i love them so much. i'm so glad they were there.

we were stopped for photos at first base, and were sent walking back around to our seats.

tassels changed, lots of applause, leaving the field row by row, albeit a little slowly. that was because there were things we needed to pick up on our way out: namely alumni sweatshirts and our diplomas! i walked out with lots of sweat, new cords, pins, a medal, a letter and certificate of achievement, and my diploma. how fucking cool is that. it was so nice to feel like my hard work and stress and consternation was validated, that it was all worth it in the end. because it really was. it still is. and i'm so excited about that.

we went to olive garden after, and my parents gave me a short note and a pandora charm for my bracelet, one with a graduation cap with a floppy tassel on a stack of books. it's perfect.

joel and i headed home after that, him plopping on the couch and me resting a little bit before heading out to paint like any other tuesday evening. i finished up the flamingo i started a few weeks ago for lisa for mother's day! finally. i'm excited to see how it'll turn out. i got to show hannah and casey my medal too! it's so cool. i took a picture of it and sent it to a bunch of people on snapchat, and andrew sent back a message saying "good job Zuko!!" i said, "why am i zuko" and then, "is it because i'm bad at being good or is it because i'm really awkward" and he just sent back, "HONOR" and i lost my shit. just absolutely lost it. i totally didn't even realize that. it does say "honor" on it, so it makes sense but i totally missed it.

after dinner hannah brought out her gift for me. i must include three things: (1) at this point i was very tired, (2) i cry when i get tired, and also (3) i cry over cute things.

so it's no surprise to anybody that i broke down sobbing when i opened this box with a fuzzy stuffed frog with a graduation cap and a flower. like, i couldn't stop the tears. wiping them away just made my face wet. and then i read the card that he was holding, and i cried harder. i managed to cry a little less hard, and then i opened the rest of the box to find graduation socks (more tears) and an envelope that had stickers of adorable animals who were graduating or studying (even more tears). i just cried for a solid like, seven minutes. and then i cried some more when i got back in the car! because what would it be without tears.

his name is harold.

(i even did some homework before obsessing over scheduling for unh for the fall. amazing.)

(and the fact that joel was there with me through the whole thing, even though he doesn't really see it as a big deal, it meant a lot to me that he was there for me. and i'm grateful he came along.)

i'm just happy. time for sleeping.

[norgestan]

I'm going back for seconds! Viri/Hugo, Nora/Miquel, Lucasim, Emma/You. Lol tbh I just want an Emma ship and I feel like we haven't properly settled for one. 😔 Who should end up with Emma, Mia excluded since you haven't watched Druck yet?

ardi round 2, i loooove this :)

VIRIHUGO:

i think at the end of the day i’m just resigned to virihugo’s existence. do i hate that they just Start pining for each other with no setup at all? yes. do i hate that their relationship was a noorhelm+vilde esque get-together where dylan is the one who ends up alone? yes (imagine if noora had told william something like “oh lol vilde is just some slut that goes for every boy around her, she’ll get over it soon and she doesn’t really care about us being together ;)”. bc that’s essentially what virihugo did LOL). do i hate that half of their clips are they just standing still and monologuing about each other? oh yes. do i care? not really. i would resent them a lot more if viri had been the protag of s3, but eskam had really compelling couples with noriquel and norandro so i just spend my time focusing on them and not the lesser part of the season.

viri is an endearing character, and although i didn’t like most of her subplot in s3, i do think eskam made her an interesting character with what they had and i’m happy she got a nice boyfriend that she has lots of fun with. moreover, norandro was lacking the enemies-to-lovers snarky interactions (too busy being a really compelling couple!) and the trope was picked up by hugo and viri. which i kinda dig, because those interactions were the only things that i enjoyed about various noorhelms in the skamverse - if most of them were like that and less bad abusive boy feminist girl jerk-fest, i wouldn’t loathe noorhelm as much as i do. although this also makes me wish viri and hugo had been that kind of dynamic from the start, and just gotten a lot of will-they-won’t-they glances from their friends throughout the show until they finally got into each other on s3. but i guess that would’ve made it impossible for eskam to use dylan just to *checks notes* make every person in the love triangle insanely infuriating, oh well.

tl;dr: they are allowed to exist.

NORIQUEL:

ardi, you just want to see the world burn LMAO

to me it’s hard to dislike any pairing with nora on it because she’s a very good character and that just means she’ll always have great dynamics with other good characters. and oh is miquel a good character. in a lot of ways, eskam gave us two great williams in one season: my boy alejandro, who is the perfect candidate for a nora love interest, who earned his place and then helped nora earn her place as the best candidate to be his love interest as well, and then miquel, that has just enough characterization to be exactly what the narrative of the season needs him to be - not only a mustache-twirling antagonist who will punch out then smirk his way out of situations, but a real person.

see, they could’ve made miquel into a one-dimensional asshole that nora is stupidly into because he’s hot (does that sound familiar to you? LOL) but oh no, miquel is way more than that. he earns nora’s trust because he’s not an asshole, he resents olga for cheating on him and you can see how nora waits until the moment where he’ll call her a slut but it NEVER comes, he defends nora in front of his friends... he gives her what she needs, and he fits right where she expects him to. and that’s so important in a season where every other character is challenging nora in one way or another: alejandro doesn’t fit in her box of “incorrigible fuckboy”, viri doesn’t fit in her box of “helpless friend who needs my pity”, emma doesn’t fit in her box of “s/a victim”. being with miquel is easy, when he just humors her and spits out thoughts that nora agrees with all the time. it’s just REALLY great to watch. not only is her season a display of how emotional abuse looks like, but also her entire relationship with miquel showcases her shame, her flaws, the things she needs to work with to better her relationships with the people who ask more of her because it’s only fair.

i honestly never was in the miquel hate train. once you get the point of the character, it’s easy to love him for what he is. as i said before, miquel was also a call of attention because the conversations that he had with nora reminded me of talks with male friends i’ve had in my uni years, and it really put it in perspective and made me realize that i have been humoring numerous miquels by sitting through their “i’m actually a feminist, ya know” think-pieces and agreeing with the general feeling of it. and i don’t think a character like niko could EVER make anyone feel like that.

i’ve checked the middle square because that was my reaction every time eskam made a point to parallel noriquel to noorhelm. like YES. YOU DO GET ME. TRULY A SEASON FROM NOORHELM ANTIS TO NOORHELM ANTIS. what a skamverse treat. this relationship is good for the SOUL. that’s why i never got infuriated watching the couple, despite knowing what the point of their existence was: at the end of the day, i knew that the signs of abuse weren’t pointless and just fillers for an end-of-season sex scene, but they were actually going to do something interesting with them. and that’s exactly what they did. noriquel is actually a perfectly crafted relationship for what its message is and it deserves to be remembered as that.

LUKASIM:

oh BOY.

i just.... kasim is in this relationship. that already makes this REALLY difficult to tackle it. the thing about kasim is... if you only watched the season as the movistar+ channel shows it, kasim is simply a plot device. he’s not a character. he’s only there to introduce conflict and stir some shit and then fuck off to the sunset. he doesn’t have an og counterpart which meant that eskam didn’t have to actually try with him, and kasim is just what they need him to be: a way to introduce the main conflict, a reason for dounia to hate amira, boy on boy action for that sweet fanservice, misogynist microaggressions towards amira, a loose way to wrap things up at the end of the season and absolve her from any guilt or shame, etc. he just shows up when the plot needs him and then walks away very swaggily. and that’s why kasim is an essay kind of topic because to talk about him, you have to tackle the racism in s4 and all the ways they could’ve made a conflict-inducing gay muslim guy actually likable. which i won’t do here.

but then if you look at the lucas extra clips... he’s actually LIKABLE. he’s a character: he has personality, he’s funny, he doesn’t take lucas’ shit, he will only be with him if lucas apologizes and changes first. and as someone who desperately wants to protect kasim from the shit characterization and treatment he got in the show, i treasure those clips immensely - which i don’t think a lot of people do, and i can see why. it’s just sad that the moments where kasim was a likable, real character were hidden behind a paywall, and drown in a convoluted plotline of outing people when they behave badly as a good punishment. the thing about their get-together is that their impact relies only on amira, and is meant to make her life a living hell. other than that, there’s not really a narrative or character reason why they’re both into each other. is it only because they’re conventionally attractive guys and the only recurrent mlm in the show? wow, that shit’s BORING.

sigh, anyway. in a slightly better world, kasim being gay wasn’t actually a nuance as it was presented in the show. rather, kasim was out and confident about it, close to his sister, probably a regular in las labass where he could also work with organizations of other queer muslims in madrid. this also means that lucas and kasim’s relationship wasn’t the typical hidden gay love story that they were in the actual show, but they’re just, ya know. typical gay kids who made out in the club and then became just friends. or lucas’ activism on s2 warranted some instagram dms and then they upgraded to acquaintances. it’s upsetting that lucas is the only eskild who doesn’t really get to hangout or be in queer circles like other eskilds are implied to, so it would be great for him to actually have gay friends that he enjoys just as much as his primarily friend group. like, their version of lucas’ queer lifestyle being going to bars and hooking up with older guys it’s so....................... why. they didn’t have the time to say anything interesting about it and so obviously they didn’t do it lol. at this rate lucas’ only platonic queer companion is cris, which is lackluster to say the least.

the decision of making kasim lucas’ endgame is just another one on the list of things s4 got so, so wrong. what for? why does lucas need (another) boyfriend, again? why does every queer person in this show have to be dating someone and also come out to their parents? again, their relationship is just another rushed hidden gay love story that i found interesting at 13 years old and then never again. they could’ve taken it into ANY other direction, please. i’m begging.

anyways, you had really nice headcanons of lucas being the only eskild willing to revert to date a muslim guy, so that’s the only reason why i’m open to the idea of them being a couple. in a better universe, eskam actually made a case for these two being a good couple, and i agreed with it. as it is for now, it’s just really pointless, and rooted on the fact that kasim is not a real character to begin with. so i’m OBVIOUSLY sending them to superhell <3

EMMA/ME:

standard wlw relationship that would probably get sooooo much backlash about how neither of the characters Really feel like wlw and the emma love interest being boring as fuck, tbh.

alright, now that we’ve covered all that.... should dear emma grace even end up with someone in the skamverse? maybe one of the skamau girlies, given the proximity? maybe she’ll hook up with the female eskild that i know so many people dislike? idk. emma deserves a nice love story, in the same wavelength as nora. she deserves someone who is patient, who communicates well, who establishes boundaries and asks for respect, who understands she’s not only the act of crazy party girl and there are really interesting, carefully placed layers around her. maybe someone who went through a similar situation or at the very least sits down with her and tries their hardest to understand all the things going on with her life. like... there’s something about emma dropping the accusations and then dipping to another country, away from her parents and even her hometown in the states, just to throw herself in a city as busy as nyc is, that is desperately asking to be explained and explored. in a lot of ways, emma’s story is the other side of the noora story that couldn’t be told through nora’s perspective. in a perfect universe, there’s a spinoff that takes place right between s3 and s4, where emma gets the news of how much of a shithead miquel actually is and she has to question all of that yet again, and break the sense of normalcy and comfort she had built during all those years. it would be great if that story featured her closest friendships, and a newfound love. yes i was serious when i talked about the emma grace spinoff @ movistar+

[bakugouscentedcaramel]

Fuck yeah let's do it

Time to get personal

1) What song makes you feel better?

Honestly a number of songs make me feel either happy or pumped but Goldfish Crackers by Gold Revere and Sunday Best by Surfaces are the sure-fire way to kickstart the serotonin production

2) What's your favorite feel-good movie?

Honestly probably any Disney movie. They just remind me of simpler times

3) What's your favorite candle scent?

Anything that smells like flowers or nature! I especially love scents that remind me of water for some reason. My favorite perfume smells exactly like a lake and I ritually soak myself in it

4) What flower would you like to be given?

It's guaranteed that I will cry if anyone gives me any flower, but my favorites would have to be orchids or lilies

5) Who do you feel most you around?

Honestly my dad, we're pretty much carbon copies of each other and share the same humor so I feel 100% comfortable with him. I even recently came out to him that I was Bi and he was so supportive about it that I cried about it later that night. We're even planning on getting matching back pieces eventually

6) Say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical)

Oh geez, my self worth is non existent so this took me a while

- my eyes

- my hair (when it's not overgrown like it is now)

- my calves weirdly enough

- my work ethic

- my humor

- my attention to detail

7) What color brings you peace?

Honestly blues and purples make me relax for some odd reason, bonus points if they're iridescent

8) Tag someone or multiple people who make you feel good

Oof obviously @thebo0knerd, @honestcactus, @prussianengel, @americanbeautea, and all of y'all

9) What calms you down?

Just being alone listening to music tends to calm me down, but the binging of Tik Tok and ironically creepypasta/scary story asmr helps too

10) What is something you're excited about?

My laptop! I'm almost able to buy it! It'll probably take a couple more paychecks but here's to an upgrade!

11) What is your ideal date?

Honestly just a trip to the mall followed by binging an anime, I'm a simple girl

12) How are you?

Honestly I've been in the dumps for the past month and a half. I've been working a lot with the public so that's always a fluctuating factor. I think I just need to move somewhere out of this godforsaken town and start somewhere fresh. Without the past constantly bringing me down

13) What's your comfort food?

Mozzarella sticks! In particular Denny's mozzarella sticks. My father would take me to Denny's as a treat whenever he got me for the weekends. He knew how bad it was when I was living with my mother and there's just a lot of comfort in those little artery cloggers

14) Favorite feel-good show?

Honestly a few animes! Right now its Haikyuu, Fire Force, and now Avatar. They're all just so inspiring and funny; they're all a great mood lifter

15) For every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word

🥺 @1a-imagines Direct Ray of Sunshine

🥺 @honestcactus Mood of 2020

💕 @americanbeautea Deity Goals

💕 @awkward-tension Angst Lord

💕 @desperatelittledemon CEO of "Shut Up Val"

16) Compliment the person who sent you this number

All of y'all mean the world to me and I'm always here to listen if y'all want to talk 🥺💖

17) Fairy lights or LEDs?

Why not both? I feel like LEDs are nice but nothing can beat fairy lights above your bed on a stormy day

18) Do you still love stuffed animals?

Of course! I still have most of my childhood stuffed animals and I still mourn my favorite one my mom threw away when I was 9

19) Most important thing in your life?

Oh jeez, I'm not trying to sound edgy or anything but I don't think I have anything important in my life. Obviously I value my sister friends but depression makes shit hard

20) What do you want to do most in the world right now?

Launch all the boomers and Karens into orbit

But honestly I want to start living for myself.

Like I feel like I've only been doing what people tell me to do and going wherever they go and I'm tired of it.

It's time I forge my own path

21) If you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

"Blood doesn't bind you, friendship does"

22) What would you say to your future self?

"Ayo bitch good luck"

Just kidding

"It's okay to give yourself permission, no one is holding you down anymore, it's okay"

23) Favorite piece of clothing?

Honestly nothing yet, all of my clothes are either hand me downs or plain clothes. I'm planning on doing a complete wardrobe change so I can dress how I want

24) What's something you do to de-stress?

I'm an avid gamer so I'm always playing some game, anywhere from PS4 to switch, to phone games. They just help get my mind off of things

25) What's the best personal gift a person could give you? (Playlist, homemade card, etc.)

Honestly anything! I've never really gotten anything that was handmade, Book made me a couple paintings and I treasure them

26) What movie would you like to live in?

Avatar tbh (AND YES IT UNFORTUNATELY COUNTS) just the idea of a simple life with a bit of elemental powers is just appealing to me, I feel like I'd be a water bender

27) Which character would you like to be?

Oof all of the dead ones

I mean

Ms. Kobayashi

A normalish life with dragon waifus? Sign me up!

28) Hugs or hand holding?

Hugs, honestly I'm so touch starved I'd probably cry if I got a genuine hug

29) Mornings, Afternoons, or Nights?

Late nights and early mornings, basically times where everyone else is asleep are just especially peaceful to me

30) What reminds you of home? (Things that remind you of the feeling of home)

I've got a very fucked up idea of home. I was raised in a military household so home was never a location, neither was having long-term friends. Not to mention after I lived with my ex for a year I've got an even more corrupt understanding of home.

But if I had to summarize it just anywhere I feel the safest, which generally means my bed

[oceanivoxjoquainx]

Let's talk about Eric Effiong

Let's be honest Eric's storyline and characterization is one of the most appealing out of all the characters in Sex Education periodt. A true gay, fierce, Drag QUEEN and I feel like ranting about this amazing force of nature. (Spoilers. Duh.)

When I saw the trailer for Sex Education it didnt even hit me that Eric was gay until I read the synopsis. Was just like "Oh I wonder which one of these three mains are the gay one people keep talking about" even after I saw him in drag like a dumbass 😣😂. Personally im glad we've reached a point where gay guys aren't overly feminine and even the brightest colours won't differ a character from the rest (unless I'm just a blind bish and he was obviously gay from the trailer) ei 👏🏾 ther 👏🏾 way; his character was refreshing when I started watching the show. I immediately clicked with him and knew what every look he gave or hand gesture he did meant. Felt nice. When Adam pushed him into the locker for the first time and started with the heterohomoerotic bs I knew that Adam had a raging boner for Eric and was another internalized homophobic bully™ and wasn't really excited for what was to come but I knew it was coming and tbh I liked it in the end.

Eric and Otis' friendship is so pure. Like?!? Get me a straight supportive bestie lilke Otis? Ik they fought but even then Otis was respectful and kept his boundaries and let Eric go through the motions before immediately belting into an apology at the first chance he got. Their dancing scene?!? Iconic. The fact that Eric sees Otis' house as safe and another home?!? Iconic. Otis going drag with Eric to watch an LGBT+ movie as a TRADITION (meaning they've done it numerous times)?!?! Iconic. The fact that Otis was straight up ditching Eric and Eric STILL tolerated him and let him do his thing without too much pressure!?! The most iconic of them all. Just pure love and respect all around.

I am so proud of Erics growth over the course of the season starting from a naive and scared gay doormat to facing homophia and getting beat up by those assholes on his birthday no less to losing his best friend and becoming depressed to channeling that anger into defending himself when people tried him to getting his sparkle back and coming back more fierce that ever before.

Speaking of him getting his sparkle back lets talk about that and why that scene is so important. A random guy asked Eric for directions and Eric noticed his nails were polished and the guy was wearing earrings and he was a big ole black dude. He was like Eric. When Eric noticed that the guy was out, loud, glamorous and proud he immediately switched back into the bright colourful and wonderfully gay Eric we all know and love.

THIS IS WHY REPRESENTATION MATTERS!!!!

It shows people that its okay to be who they actually are and inspires those who are lost to find or return to their true selves. Representation isn't just some offhand thing to throw on a character last minute. And even if you can relate to other characters who arent like you, it is always an amazing feeling to have a character that IS like you. It turned Eric from a popularity seeking doormat into a hurricane with 6 inch heels who was ready to straight up beat down a bully he's had for 4 years. It even inspired him to go back to church and rejoin a community that he closed off. That's exactly how it feels to have someone successful in the media and your life to look up to. Eric only interacted with that man for a few minutes but those few minutes changed his life for the better. So that's a lovely reminder for all who love to bash representation.

Back tracking to Eric's dull colourless period after the attack and his fight with Otis. It was saddening to see one of the brightest characters go dull and even the school felt it. He turned from a guy who rarely stood up for himself and what he wanted into the sass master he reserved only for his friends. All of his built up anger was released causing him to explode on Mr Hendricks (who is adorable tbh and just trying to do his best) and Anwar (I was proud of that punch you go glenn co co) and he even sounded off on his dad who he's usually passive aggressive to at worst. Just goes to show that the happiest faces can harbor the biggest pains and can snap. Moral of the story? Protect the happy few.

Eric also has a great family. Like that obviously know Erics gay and wears dresses because its all right there in his room which his parents enter at their leisure and while it seems that they're a bit homophobic its revealed that they (Erics dad at least) just wants Eric to be safe as he's already a target for being black and apart of an immigant family. He accepts Eric for who he is and what he does he just doesnt want anyone else to give him shit for it and if that's not one of the sweetest things in this world idek what is. Eric and his dad was probably one of my favorite dynamics in the show and watching his dad slowly fully accept that his son was strong and able to stand for himself he was able to become stronger too. This dynamic is important because I never see any gay black characters have a close relationship with their fathers and it was very heartwarming to watch.

Now onto Erics love life. He has a crush on the highschools other only gay guy Anwar who's the typical mean sassy gay we've all come to expect in highschool dramas. Otis saying that Eric doesnt have to have a crush on the only other openly gay guy at school was such a mood as its commonly shown that any gays in close proximity should get together. When Eric punched him I internally went "Finally!" Because all those jeers were becoming annoying. I'm glad Anwar got to come out to his mum over it though. And straight up told the audience that Eric didn't like feminine guys (alluding to him and Adams eventual clean up scene as of we didn't see it coming already).

Moving on to Adam tho, like I said we all been knew that this

was indeed coming and even though I hate the bully x bullied trope I still ended up liking it and hoping that Adam would change. The building up to that kiss was long awaited from episode 1 straight through to 8 with all the longing looks that Adam kept side glancing Eric with and the face cupping and the growls and the lingering touches. I just kept going sthdjksksbslaldbd when one of those moments happened followed shortly after with disgust because gays falling for their abuser is washed up but then immediately going back to jajaklamabsldkd because im shipping trash so 🤷🏿. Eric stepping to Adam in at the ball was one of the most iconic scenes of the show (along with the "Its My Vagina" scene) and the exchange between him and Adam gave be actual chills. The tension was THICCCC. Erics OUTFIT to the ball gave me chills 😭😭 dude came to slay and had everyone at that school proper shook and I honestly could NOT be more proud. I was hoping Adam would become a better person over the course of the season but nope so hopefully they cover all the issues that Adam has in season 2 and properly give him a redeption arc cuz he's still a trashy pos he's just a disaster bi on top of it. (Adam immediately going to suck Eric off is confidence I can only dream of achieving 💀💀) The lab scene was also cute but made me mad because how could Adam look scared, confident and still be a douchebag all in the span of a few seconds was beyond me. A+ acting on Connor Swindells part. I can see why Adam would have to stay in the closet and keep their... relationship?? a secret because it seems like Headmaster Groff would be a homophobic piece of shit and would add to the ever growing list of things Adam did wrong. Even so it doesn't excuse the fact that Adam is in fact a bully and Eric deserves much better. Was sad seeing Adam being driven off from Eric in the end tho. Eric thought that Adam didn't want to see him at all and was probably heartbroken and probably thinks Adam left because of him (my poor baby 😭😭). I feel bad for Adam too because he was just starting to express himself and was at the beginning of a redemption arc when he was just wisked away from the boy he's loved for what seems to be a very long time. I just want my boys to be happy and non toxic and I wish their relationship and them all the best in Season 2.

Eric Effiong is my favorite character in the show and I really want to thank Ncuti Gatwa for portraying him so well and for the shows writers who gave him a very fleshed out character with an amazing storyline and conclusion. His growth was incredible and his strength is immeasurable. I'm 100% certain that he will be a character the community remembers for years to come. Patiently now waiting on what's to come in Season 2 💙🙌🏾.