#I love that the sunflower seeds were Jeremy’s idea!

[loveandthings11]

Jeremy Strong for The Hollywood Reporter 3/27/23

Soooo- Kendall CEO? Maybe, maybe not. Or perhaps Logan is the one who gets what he wants but isn’t satisfied. We’re seeing that already.

[elizabethtarington]

The Broken Pieces

Pairing: Male Human x Ace Male Incubus Warning:SFW (Angst, Depression, Mention of Death and Past Abuse) Word Count: 4328 Note: OkCryptid Collab Prompt from @thetravelerwrites. Here’s my humble contribution. I had an idea in my ‘idea book’ for a while and was happy to knock this out as a combo piece. I really wanted to create something like this and I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out. I hope y’all enjoy! Ao3 Version | My Website Version 

“Alright, bud. Your profile is all set up.”

Mason poked his head out from the kitchen to give Jeremy, longtime friend and class of 2011 survivor, a quizzical frown, “What profile?”

Jeremy shook his head at Mason “I’ll give you three guesses. It’s been two years since you broke up with Maria. What kind of profile do you think it is?”

Mason went back to putting popcorn in the microwave, frowning slightly at the rotating bag of kernels. While it popped, he leaned against the doorway and watched Jeremy. The man with his furrowed brow was finger deep in some dating app as he swiped his finger across the screen. Mason knew his friend meant well, but he wasn’t sure he was ready for this kind of thing.

“I’m not sure the dating scene is my thing. It’s been the same song and dance. I meet some gal or guy and I end up dating them and then they hurt me and leave a pile of ash behind—I’m just not interested.”

“I totally respect that you don’t want to date, but you should at least get out there. Maybe meet new people.”

Mason sighed, “Is this because you’re leaving next month and you’re worried about me?”

Glancing up from the phone Jeremy met Mason’s gaze, “Can you blame me? You don’t really have anyone else, Mason. Maria kind of made sure of that.”

Mason was the first to break eye contact as pain flared up in his chest. Maria. Everything about her still caused bitterness and regret to burn in his veins and bile to well up in his throat. What had been so fun in the beginning had become toxic and abusive. A dull throb started in his head as he began thinking about it.

“That she did.”

There was a silence between the two friends. An understanding of the damage combined with a quiet desperation to fix it.

“I’m not going to pressure you, Mason—but I can’t help but worry that you’re going to disappear into yourself.”

Mason was worried too. He was worried that he was never going to be able to connect with a person ever again and that Jeremy really was his last and only friend. It was enough to make Mason outstretch his hand for his phone.

“Alright, explain this thing to me.”

A hopeful grin spread across Jeremy’s face as he shot up from the couch and practically danced into the kitchen beside Mason. Glancing away from the popcorn, Mason raised an eyebrow as he looked down at the dating app.

“OkCryptid? Seriously, dude?”

“What? You never thought about going on a date with a different creature? Are you speciesist?” Jeremy teased, playfully cocking his hand onto his hip.

“That’s not it, I guess I just never really thought about dating someone that wasn’t a human.”

“Well, time to get your feet wet my friend, maybe literally.”

Mason inwardly winced at his friends over-exuberance as he began showing Mason how to use the app. It seemed easy enough to navigate, but Mason didn’t want to look at it any longer once the microwave alerted him that the popcorn was ready. The monster dating app was definitely a far second to horrible movie night and snacks.

After the movie, Jeremy went home and Mason began flipping through profiles on the app and cringed repeatedly. Mason himself wouldn’t be bragging about his profile. Jeremy had chosen a picture he had snapped while Mason was driving. But the worst part about it was what Jeremy had written on his behalf. While the self-summary was spot on, Mason was a florist that liked to garden in his spare time, or play video games and movie nights, it was how Jeremy had made him sound like a quirky weirdo.

I love plants so much that I can tell you what each individual flower means and how to arrange them in a perfect bouquet for when I meet your parents.

“Jeremy, you asshole,” Mason muttered as he edited his description, removing that line completely.

He tweaked it seven times and reread it only to find he’d gone from random freak to completely uninteresting. If he were trying to find someone to date and they had this profile description it would be a pass for Mason. With that thought, Mason got ready for bed, fighting the feeling of oncoming depression and the stinging sensation of tears. As his head hit the pillow he hoped sleep would give him a moment of peace.

For three weeks, the app stayed on Mason’s phone, forgotten until a notification beeped while Mason was at work. He almost ignored it as he began trimming up some calla lilies for a wedding bouquet that needed to be finished by the end of the week.

“You got pinged, Mason.” Came a small voice from a pot of soil on Mason’s workbench.

Mason glanced at the alraune, Delpha. She was a small floral creature, that could easily be mistaken for a sunflower with a small face. She had come into his store, nearly getting stepped on in the process, to ask for a job. It had been a couple of years since then, but Mason had accommodated her in many ways so that she could walk from table to table, helping the plants grow and stay healthy with her magic.

Now she was helping him grow a new kind of flower hybrid that would be special to only his store. She was carefully placing seeds into the soil with her as sparkling green magic spread from her leafy hands, “I guess there’s no harm in checking it.”

Swiping the phone on, Mason stared down at the app’s notification with surprise. Someone had messaged him. Not just any someone, an incubus someone.

“What is it, Mason?”

A sudden onset of dry mouth caused Mason to struggle as he opened the app to look at the message and the incubus in question, “It’s a message from someone on the dating app my friend installed.”

“Oh? Which app? I’m partial to Monstr myself. I once went on a date with a mandrake root and you would not believe the night we had together.”  Delpha jumped out of the pot, scattering dirt across the table as she moved to look at Mason’s phone. “Ohh! OkCryptid! Mason, I didn’t know you swung our way, towards us otherworldly creatures.”

“I-uh, I’ve always thought about it but then I met Maria and—”

Mason cut himself off, he didn’t want to discuss personal stuff with Delpha. Not about Maria at least. This incubus, however, was a different story.

His name was Vylixar but went by Vyl. He looked like a Vyl, Mason decided looking at the imposing creature. Mason had met several incubi and succubi over the years and their appearances weren’t exactly what most humans would consider the epitome of beauty. They often had scale-like skin with little horns protruding from their shoulders and elbows, but they came in a variety of colors. Vyl was a deep mauve with large spikes. His horns on his head looked sharp and pointed, curling from his head down to his pointed ears. In his profile picture was him revealing sharp fangs with what Mason assumed was a friendly smile on his short snout.

Mason turned the phone so Delpha could see, “What do you think?”

“Oh, he looks big and strong, although you might want to be careful, incubi often like to feast on energy.”

“I’ve heard of it, but never really educated myself on it.”  Mason pulled his phone back to look at what Vyl had messaged. “Is it sexual energy? I don’t really have any of that right now.”

“It can be. I’ve heard that it feels good for humans when they feast on you. It can get addictive.”

It had been a while since Mason had felt good in any respects. Every day felt like he was just struggling to hold on to what little he had left. Maybe this is a risk he should take.

Quickly glancing over the text, Mason wrote back his response, double and triple checking his words trying to not sound like an idiot. He hesitated to hit the send button but finally pressed send after rereading his message one more time. After he did so he put his phone down, anxiously waiting to hear back as he went back to preparing the wedding bouquet.

Another notification made Mason’s phone beep as he was about to wrap and pin the ribbon onto the bouquet.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?”

Mason could feel his palms start to sweat, but his reply was instant ‘Yes’. ‘Vyl is typing’ quickly turned into another message back asking if tonight would work for him. Mason was astonished at how much Vyl wanted to meet him. Despite himself, Mason was getting excited, the sooner he met Vyl, the better.

He messaged back that he was available and no sooner had he sent the message did Vyl respond with a date and time. Confusion at the location made Mason raise his eyebrow. It was a bakery just down the street from where Mason worked, he had even been there to help with a cake order that required several rose heads that a bride had specifically wanted. Had Mason already met Vyl before? He didn’t recognize him at all.

After work was finished, Mason headed home to clean himself up a bit and put on a button up shirt that he always liked. Maria hated it. It was blue plaid that made Mason look like a lanky roadie is what she had said, usually wrinkling her nose in disgust. She would then suggest a plain and professional button-up shirt.

“Fuck her,” Mason growled, buttoning the shirt up a little more fiercely. “I look good.”

Mason had finished inspecting himself before he was out the door and arrived at the bakery. Vyl had said 7:30 but as Mason stood outside the bakery he frowned up at the closed sign. The bakery had already closed and had been for nearly an hour. Mason was ready to believe that he got tricked when he saw a hulking incubus with large clawed feet walk towards the door.

He unlocked it and smiled, his yellow glowing eyes looked Mason up and down as he opened the door, “Mason?”

“Uh—yeah. That’s me.”

“Hi, please come in.” Vyl moved to the side, keeping the door wide as Mason shuffled into the bakery. “Sorry, I was running a little bit late with the cleanup in the bakery and preparing dinner. I hope you don’t mind.”

Mason glanced back to see Vyl locking up before he walked past him into the back, “Come on back, I’m just starting to finish up cooking.”

Uncertain and a little concerned, Mason gave pause at the situation. Vyl owned the bakery? And was cooking dinner for Mason?

“Uh, Vyl?” Mason asked wandering into the back to see an expansive setup. Several tables were placed throughout the expansive space, where little fairies were sprinkling sugar on cookies while others were turning cakes as they were being decorated with colorful icing and decadent chocolate.

“Don’t mind the sugar plum fairies, they do a lot of the work at night. We won’t be eating down here though, my little flat is just above the shop.”

Mason continued to follow behind, taking one last peek at the fairies and the massive kitchen. It had several silver machines that Mason assumed were for mixing and preparing the pastries and cakes. He also had never seen sugar plum fairies before and was fascinated at how they seemed to really enjoy rolling out fondant together.

Up a set of spiral stairs, Mason finally followed Vyl up to a different floor that had a large red door propped open. The enticing scent of food made Mason’s stomach growl loudly enough that Vyl glanced back and chuckle.

“Feeling hungry?”

“I am, actually.”

“Good, I’m glad you brought your appetite. I should have asked beforehand, but are you allergic to anything?”

“Uh, no. I’ll pretty much eat everything. My friend says my stomach is made out of lead.”

Vyl smirked, “Well, my cooking isn’t atrocious, so hopefully you won’t have to put that theory to the test.”

Vyl opened the door again, ushering Mason forward into the flat. It was spacious and well decorated much to Mason’s surprise. He didn’t know what to expect but he certainly didn’t think Vyl’s place would be so homey. Vinyl records decorated the walls, mixed in was some jazz posters in thick black frames. A flat-screen was bolted into the wall above a small white painted fireplace and sitting across from it was a couch with two other chairs surrounding a glass coffee table.

“Can I get you a glass of wine or maybe a beer?”

“I won’t say no to a beer.” Mason nodded as he took off his shoes before he followed Vyl into the kitchen.

The kitchen was similar to the one in the bakery, stainless steel appliances that were polished and cleaned to a pristine shine like no one had been using them. He watched as Vyl opened the fridge and pulled out a beer and popped the cap off easily before handing it to Mason. With his nerves starting to make him want to bail, Mason gratefully took the beer and took a sip, surprised at how smooth the dark liquor went down.

“Wow, what is this?”

“Ah, that is a St. Bernardus Abt 12. It’s good right?”

“It really is, I don’t think I’ve tasted anything like this before.”

“Well, don’t drink that one down too fast, it’s got a high alcohol content and on an empty stomach that beer will go straight to your head.”

Vyl smiled at his comment as he washed his hands. His hands quickly found their way to a blade as he began to chop some vegetables and throwing them into a large bowl with some leafy greens.

“Can I help with anything?”

“No thank you, I should be fine. But if you don’t mind, I could use the company.”

Mason nodded, “Sure thing.”

Silence had filled the air with only Vyl’s chopping to compensate for it before Mason took one more swig of beer before trying to talk, “So, do you own the bakery? I’ve actually worked with you guys before for that rose cake for a wedding about a year ago.”

“Oh! Are you the gentleman from the flower store down the street?”

“Yes, actually.”

“Well, fancy that. I had no idea. I’m usually in the back downstairs making the cakes.” Vyl stopped as the smile that had appeared, faded quickly. “My late partner used to deal with the customers so you probably saw him.”

Mason’s eyes went wide as he watched the large incubus pause as he threw the remaining vegetables into the bowl before turning to wash the cutting board in the sink.

“Your late partner.” Mason murmured as he tried to remember the person he met. A picture of a young man with long hair tied into a long braid came to mind. He had glasses and a soft kind smile as he had greeted Mason and discussed business with. Lucas. That was his name. “Lucas.”

“Yes. Lucas. My wonderful partner.”

“When did he pass?” Mason asked, carefully watching Vyl as he walked to the oven to check on a large roast.

“It was a year ago—on this day actually. A heart attack of all things. The man was fit as a fiddle, yet his heart had a blockage.” Vyl stared intently at the roast, sticking it with a thermometer, “I hope you don’t mind—it’s just that I really needed someone tonight. I needed to feel like this place was a home again with a cooked meal and with someone to share it with.”

Vyl paused, “I’m sorry if you’re disappointed or you were hoping for something more than just a meal.”

“No. No. Vyl, don’t apologize.” Mason’s brow furrowed, his heart ached for the incubus in front of him. He understood the pain and he understood the need for companionship even if it meant this wasn’t actually a date. Whatever preconceived ideas Mason had about Vyl feeding on him just so he could feel good was gone. “I get it. I really do.”

“You do?”

Those glowing eyes turned to Mason with shock and lingering sadness as tears had been forming in the corner of his eyes.

“I do. Honestly, I’m not ready to date anyways. I got out of a bad relationship two years ago and I haven’t really been the same since. My friend Jeremy put the app on my phone because he’s worried that I don’t have any friends and he’s concerned that I’ll be lonely since he’s leaving in a week.”

Vyl let out a small breath of relief, “Lucas would have done the same which is the only reason I installed the app myself. I can hear him in the back of my mind, pushing me to move on, but it’s hard. Even harder is to find someone who would want to date me anyway.”

“Why do you think that?”

“I’m-uh, not like other incubi. I don’t really do the sex thing. Ever. I just don’t have an interest in it, I’d much rather have a companion who doesn’t mind snuggling on the couch to watch some movies or maybe will go on walks with me while we indulge in ice cream. I still need to feed occasionally, but it’s very rare for me since I’ve gone what most of my kind consider ‘vegan’. I eat human food for sustenance.”

Vyl stood up, closing the oven door, reaching for his own glass of wine as he took a sip.

“That—honestly sounds what I want right now.” Mason shuffled from side to side, inwardly admiring Vyl’s bravery for being honest with him, all while feeling a little guilty that he had come here without thinking that perhaps Vyl was a person and not an object to magically make Mason happy. He didn’t want sex, but he wanted to feel good. He wanted to feel happy again. “I don’t have much interest in anyone sexually either. Not after my ex. Honestly, I just feel—”

Mason stopped himself. There he was, bringing up that woman again.

“Did you want to talk about it? I mean, I’m a stranger or a potential friend, should we enjoy each other’s company—but sometimes talking to a stranger about your problems is easier than talking to your friends. I’m less involved in what happened.”

Taking a deep swig from the bottle, Mason struggled until it spilled out, “I’ve always been a bit more reclusive than most people, so I figured dating someone who was the opposite of me would help me to come out of my shell a bit more. Maria was my opposite. In every way. She wasn’t very good for me and really enjoyed hurting me by putting me down. Near the end of our relationship, I questioned whether it was just in my head or maybe I was emotionally fragile and just sensitive. Maybe I was just not good enough for her. But what broke everything was when I found out that she had been cheating—as if the verbal abuse wasn’t enough. I really wasn’t enough for her. She even blamed me when I confronted her about it. It was—bad. ”

Another profound silence settled between them as Mason did his best to keep his eyes on the floor. He was struggling to reign it all in.

“Oh—Mason.” Vyl said softly. “Can I give you a hug?”

Mason nodded immediately as he felt the welling of emotions inside of him. She had cut him up into tiny pieces and he just didn’t know how to put himself back together again. For a moment as Vyl wrapped his arms around Mason, he felt as if he might just be able to do it. He might become whole again, one day.

Unexpected tears and sniffles began to plague Vyl as he held Mason tightly. It only made Mason respond in kind, burying his face into Vyl’s chest to hide his own tears. They both stood in that kitchen, clinging for their own reason to continue on as the fresh home cooked meal reminded them of care and warmth. Tonight it was enough to share a meal together. It was enough to share each others company.

They pulled apart, both quickly wiping their own tears away before Vyl laughed, “Look at us. What a horrible meeting this is.”

Mason sniffed, letting out a chuckle, “No, it’s actually pretty great.”

“I’m sorry that she hurt you so deeply.”

“Yeah, me too.” Mason nodded, “Honestly, I’m pretty sure I should go see a therapist. This kind of baggage is heavy and I don’t want to burden anyone with it.”

“That’s understandable and probably the healthiest solution.” Vyl turned to open the oven and check the roast once more, “Ah, I believe that dinner is ready.”

“Great, I think all the crying made me hungrier than I was before.”

Vyl laughed, “Crying can be good for the soul, but I can relate. I think I’m hungry after I blubber—at the very least, I’m thirsty.”

Mason felt a wave of relief as he watched Vyl grab two sets of plates, handing one to Mason before setting the other one down. He picked up a carving knife and fork, cutting large slices of steaming roast and plopping two onto Mason’s plate.

His mouth watered as he stared at the hot beef, his stomach also letting out a resounding grumble of approval, “Wow, this looks delicious. Where did you learn to cook or bake?”

“I went to a culinary school a long time ago. Since we incubi have long lives, I’ve been in and out of school for centuries, picking up new things and recreating the old.”

Vyl handed Mason cutlery as he ushered him into the dining room across from the living room. The table was small with four chairs and four placemats already set on the surface. Mason had wondered if perhaps Vyl was the one who placed the little vase of fake flowers in the middle or if it was Lucas.

Setting down his plate, Vyl walked to the kitchen, coming back with the bowl of salad and several dressings pressed to his chest before he set them all down.

“I didn’t even think about how long you live. So, have you been vegan for long then?”

“Yes, actually. I just never enjoyed it like others of my kind did. So, I just didn’t do it. Occasionally the mood strikes where I wouldn’t mind feeding on a person, but it’s very rare. Because of that, I learned to cook and get nutrition from food. It only made sense to learn to cook or bake to earn money while I eat to survive.”

“Makes sense to me.” Mason smiled, cutting into his roast before taking the first bite.

It was glorious as the savory flavor hit Mason’s taste buds, “Wow. This is really good.”

Vyl’s smile grew large as he watched as Mason began cutting up his food more to get another piece into his mouth, “I’m glad—Lucas definitely appreciated my cooking as well.”

“Was this his favorite meal?”

“It was.” Vyl paused, “I’m sorry, I just feel really guilty about this ‘date’. Like I’m using you.”

“Well, join the club. I feel like an ass because I originally came here thinking that I might feel good if you fed off me. “

Vyl let out a hearty laugh, “A date where both parties were looking to ease their own pain and suffering by using the other. How romantic. This could only lead to good things.”

“From the looks of it, we might become ‘cry buddies’.”

“Cry buddies,” Vyl chuckled again, “I like it. It really brings out a softer side.”

Dinner had turned into a late gabfest with Vyl showing Mason how to make a cupcake with buttercream icing. They talked about everything from their past relationships, to video games, books, and movies. Mason even was pleased to discover that Vyl was interested in incorporating more real flowers into his baking displays. They had a lot in common and when the evening drew to a close they exchanged numbers before Vyl showed Mason out of the bakery with a box of cookies and their cupcake creations.

“I really enjoyed tonight. It’s not what I thought it would be.” Mason spoke first, pausing at the door as Vyl unlocked and opened it.

“I did too. I’m probably as surprised as you are.”

A silent pause descended on Mason as he stared down at the box in hand before meeting Vyl’s gaze, “I know I sound like a broken record, but I’m not ready to date. I’m still not really in a healthy place where I should be dating, but I want to see you again as a friend. Is that okay?”

Vyl nodded, a small smile toying at the corners of his snout, “I would like that very much, Mason. Do you think we could meet up on Sunday? I could show you how to make cookies.”

Vyl ruffled Mason’s hair playfully as Mason felt relief flood through his body.

“I’d like that.”

“Cool. I’ll text you later then. Have a good night and please get home safely.”

Mason nodded as he stepped outside, “I will—oh and Vyl?”

“Yeah?” Vyl paused before closing the door.

“Thank you. Truly.”

“Thank you too, Mason.”

Mason began walking away with goodies in hand as he heard Vyl lock up. He felt lighter than he had in a while and decided to text Jeremy about how his evening went. He ended the message with a quick note that he was going to be just fine. For the first time, Mason knew it to be true.

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Also if anyone wanted to use this for the collab, feel free. It’s super dorky, but I spliced it together with this person’s creation from Pixabay. 

[snowyseahorse]

All of them

why do you do this to me

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

Are We There Yet by Timeflies and Chase Rice

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

Where to find Better People

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Pulling myself out of my worst emotional/mental state like a year ago and evolving because of it (and I guess my grades too lol I have a 4.0 and I’m taking 4 AP tests monday-wednesday)

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Dancing in my room and Feeling Good

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I’d tell the truth more and tell people I love them and take easy classes because What’s The Point and make out with more people (I haven’t made out with anyone in like 6 months I’m sad) and get my driver’s license and cry more

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

I don’t! I just want to be happy. Nothing else matters.

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

Jeremy @diediedie000000000000000000000 is my closest friend right now and he’s fantastic. He has the most confusing eating habits and I don’t even try to understand them; he’ll eat like 3 servings worth of pastries and beef jerkey and sunflower seeds and 5 thin mints for breakfast. His metabolism is golden too, so he eats so much but has no body weight or fat. His hair is black and long enough to run my fingers through, which always messes it up. (but he says he enjoys it so it’s all good) He likes the aesthetic when it’s wet and all over the place, but doesn’t like actually having wet hair. His skin is perfect too and he has cute little freckles below his eyes that make him look like a literal angel. He doesn’t like drawing attention to himself but is a sluT for attention from his friends, so when I randomly take pictures of him he looks so bashful and pleased and adorable and tries so hard not to smile. On FaceTime sometimes he’ll just straight-up ask for attention and I turn off my laptop and we both lay down on our beds and make noises at each other. It’s so hard to believe that he used to ignore me in the hallways because he’s shy. I’d pass him and call his name or touch his shoulders and he wouldn’t even make eye contact. He also lied and said that he doesn’t like cuddles, and now he’s one of the most physically affectionate people I’ve ever met. (he also said that he didn’t like to say “I love you” to his friends and guess what else changed) Even at school he’ll get really close and just touch my leg or my side. (our computer graphics 2 class probably all thinks we’re dating) He does this cute thing where if I pet his nose he like leans his head into my hand like a cat and my brain is just like oh my gosh protect this human. He has a lot of cute mannerisms too. When I’m on the call and he has to put his phone down he makes the same little face that he uses for literally every snapchat he sends, with his lips pressed together and his eyebrows raised. If he’s explaining something really intensely he will sometimes curve his fingers like he’s holding two tennis balls and tense up his entire body. He’s an enneagram 4, which basically means that he gets high off of being special, and we use it as a meme when we’re talking about him. Whenever I do something weird I ask him if it “satisfies his ennegram 4” and he replies that it does. He also likes doing things that make him feel closer to someone, I guess because it reaffirms his importance and reliance. Wearing no makeup or having messy hair or singing in front of him are things he really appreciates(I’ve done all three). I’m painting him as really soft and pure but he also can be quick to retaliate (”if someone starts something, you can be sure I’ll finish it”) or become defensive if he considers himself provoked. He doesn’t like having people dislike him though, and is really proud of not hating anyone or having any real enemies. His memory is terrible, especially at night, and honestly it’s a miracle if he remembers anything that happens past 9pm. Even his short term memory after dark is pitiful. There was one night where I tested him and told him to remember a song, and 10 minutes later when I asked he has no idea what I was talking about. I’d ask him to corroborate the story but there’s no chance that he remembers. The lack of memory makes him really doubtful of facts too. My favorite test is to ask “Jeremy, did I grow up in a fjord?” (I didn’t) and he usually starts with “no”, but if after he answers I don’t say anything, he always changes to “yes?” and prompts my “JeremY, this literally happens every time. You KNOW that I didn’t, and just because I stay silent doesn’t mean that you’re wrong.” Am I a bad person? He really just needs to be protected; I’m so worried that one day he’ll literally sell his soul or do drugs or blow all of his money and just think nothing of it. I would never trust Jeremy with finances. He’s an impulse buyer, and sometimes also gives people way too much money to eat spicy food or something else unpleasant; it drives me insane because I despisE spending money. Video games are another one of his vices. He’s amazing at every game he plays. It’s really just excessive at this point. Pokemon is his childhood and he destroys me on Pokemon Showdown constantly. (I’ve never played a proper pokemon game) He got me into PS, eating in my room, and RWBY, and I introduced him to Be More Chill and Heathers and Hamilton. He can sing really well, which is only further proof that he’s actually an angel. I feel like we have a pretty good balance as friends. He tackles his emotions head-on while I avoid them at all costs. He like to be able to rely on other people and I only want to rely on myself. He only owns one pair of shoes (by choicE) and I love feeling pretty by wearing makeup and outfits I like. He keeps his family out of his social life and I tell mine everything. He’s a wonderful friend and I don’t deserve him at all but I try my best to.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

Yes! My family is wonderful so I got lucky.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

I don’t know. I usually don’t. It was probably Jeremy though.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

Jeremy,,,,,, because he’s my closest friend.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

To an extent. It depends on who they are.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

I haven’t stayed up until 3am probably since I was dating my ex boyfriend, so him.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

Probably tell my mom that I love and appreciate her.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

They wonderful and u n i q u e

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“It is a dangerous thing to unbelieve something only because it frightens you“ - Cheshire Cat in the book “Heartless“ (I just really like it because it’s so consistent with truth and fighting against oneself)

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

I don’t know, maybe something about evolving and getting through thing and becoming better. Maybe “Better” because it also aligns with the OneRepublic song

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

I hate spending money, I’d probably just hold onto it forever

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I used to be more so, but life isn’t as black and white as it used to be. 

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Literally 12 year old me was doing fine. She doesn’t need a letter. 14 year old me maybe did.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

pastel

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I don’t think I’ll get any more piercing than the ones in my ears now because earrings irritate my ears and it just wouldn’t be worth it. I like the look of tattoos that are slightly darker than the skin, and are on the person’s hands or waist, but I probably won’t get any. I don’t know. People can do whatever they want with their bodies.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

Foundation, eyeliner, mascara, concealer, some highlighter. I just like the look of it.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. 

I don’t know, but TOP is always a good choice for this. I made my Depression Castle in minecraft listening to them.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

I believe in you

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

The only one that made me feel anything was when I saw OneRepublic with my ex boyfriend. He started talking about depression and my hearT.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

I’ve talked about the first person I was in love with, and I’d probably want the letter to be from her because we don’t talk that much now. We’re going to prom in the same group and she’s going to be so gorgeous and I’m going to gravitate to her like I always do and I don’t know. I just want to know that she doesn’t hate me.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

Yes! I’m sentimental as hec and so I have pieces of paper from my friends and small things and sticky notes all over the back. (actually I calligraphied “Riley” and “Katherine” onto sticky notes a while ago to put there because I don’t have anything physical to remind me of you two)

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

Call Jeremy, brush my teeth, floss, I’m probably already in pajamas, take my makeup off, unmake my bed, take my bra off, get into bed, say goodnight, sleeP

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

That I masturbate………. My mom was talking once about how I might not orgasm until I’m in my 20s and that’s ok, and I just kind of laughed. It would probably be fine if I told her but ya know

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I just redyed it pink today!

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

Jeremy, Marissa(she doesn’t have a tumblr), @parksandrecmeup, @sparklygemsuniverse, and @internet-pringle and honestly I’d go anywhere with them

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

Happiness (it’s what I always wish for at 11:11)

That my future will be wonderful

That the world will improve

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

When I was smol my mom sewed this thick piece of fabric together and we painted and stick feathers to a mask so that I could be Hedwig from Harry Potter. I was so warmmmmmm

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

Never been either because I’m boring

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Kill someone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

Song, because I can still go about my normal life and interact with society

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

Twice! The second time was better and softer. I was always smiling and happy, and texted him 24/7. My heart felt like it glowed.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

Nah. I like my hair

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

Hot chocolate because I Avoid starbucks, and anyone can order for me tbh

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Myself *sunglasses emoji* (I’d say Jeremy but like he doesn’t need my help, my main goal is helping myself)

[leahlisabeth]

“I got you a present.” -- says the entire Trojan team to Jean Moreau

“They’re at it again,” Laila rolled her eyes at Alvarez.

“At this point, I don’t think I need the announcement.  I’m just going to assume it’s going on.  But let’s pretend I care for a moment.  What are they doing now?” Alvarez sighed.

“I can’t explain it, you’ll just have to see for yourself.” Laila dragged her girlfriend out of the locker room and pointed to the corner of the court where Jeremy Knox was stretching in his most ass-hugging shorts and Jean Moreau was quite pointedly not looking.

“See something you like, Moreau?” Alvarez shouted across the court.  Jean’s gaze snapped to hers and his pale skin flushed.  He turned to power walk away but ran full tilt into a rack of Exy equipment.

Jeremy immediately popped up and rushed over to help Jean up which resulted in two blushing boys standing far too close together, looking deep into each other’s eyes, hands clasped between them.

“Oy, get a room, you two!” Pete shouted from the entrance and they sprung apart like they had been burned, Jeremy for a drink of water and Jean to start running full tilt around the edge of the court.

Alvarez popped Pete in the ear as she walked past.  "Good going.  I thought they were finally going to get a clue that time.“

Pete scoffed. "Those two can’t get a clue if it bit them on the face.  They’re not going to figure it out unless we tie their dicks together and lock them in a honeymoon suite overnight.”

“That…sounds a little drastic,” Laila laughed.  "But you’re not wrong about the need for intervention.  I’ve got an idea.“

Jean reached into his pocket for his keys but stopped as Alvarez shouted at him from down the hall.

"Hey, Moreau! I got a present for you!”

“Can it wait?” Jean glared. “Some of us know the value of rest and relaxation.”

“Right, cause you know how to relax. Come with me now.  You can get back to your roosting later.  Or do you hang upside down from the curtain rod like a bat?”  she laughed.

“Ha ha,” Jean growled.  "This better not take long.  I get enough of you on the court.“

"You’ll be thanking me,” Alvarez smirked.

“That remains to be seen,” Jean rolled his eyes but turned to follow his teammate down the hallway anyway.

Jean’s steps slowed as he realized they were approaching the room of their team captain.

“What is this about?” he asked in suspicion.

“Will you just trust me?"Alvarez grabbed his wrist to hurry him up.

Jean braced himself for a wave of anxiety at being manhandled but looked at Alvarez in shock when it didn’t come.

"I do trust you,” he said incredulously.

Alvarez stopped and looked back at him, recognizing the gravity of the moment. “Thank you,” she said simply before she started pulling him down the hallway again.

And then they were in front of Jeremy’s door.  Laila and the rest of the team were standing there too, completely silently.

“Did I forget about a team meeting?” Jean asked, eyebrow raised.  "And if so, why isn’t Jeremy out here already?“

Working quickly, Laila yanked open the door and Alvarez pushed him in.  Jean tripped on the edge of the carpet and almost went down.  The door slammed behind him and a suspicious amount of activity continued on the other side of the door.

Jeremy looked up and grinned and Jean was tempted to check his cheeks and nose for sunburn.  But Jeremy just kept looking up expectantly  and Jean couldn’t take it.  He was just so pure and Jean broke everything he touched.  He whirled around and tried to fling open the door but it wouldn’t budge.  He pounded on it but there was no answer except for a suspiciously loud snicker.

“Hey,” Jeremy came up behind Jean and placed his hand on his shoulder.  “Don’t break my door.”

Jean flinched away violently and turned to press his back against the door.  He slid slowly down, his breath coming  quick and rasping.  Black spots started forming in front of his eyes and more than anything, he wished he knew how to catch his breath.

When he came back to himself, his hand was pressed tight to Jeremy’s heart so he could feel the reassuring, steady beat and the man himself was speaking in low tones.  With great effort, Jean pulled himself together enough to hear what was being spoken.

“Hey, you’re alright.  I’ve got you.  Just slow it down,” Jeremy murmured. He looked into Jean’s face and immediately brightened.  “Oh hey!” There you are!”

“Don’t,” Jean rasped.  He took his hand back and flexed it tightly, trying to get rid of the feel of Jeremy’s solid chest from his fingers.

Jeremy sighed and turned to sit next to Jean on the floor.  There was a line of heat all up Jean’s side from where Jeremy’s shoulder was pressed into him.  Jean tried but he didn’t have the strength to pull away.

“I think the team is trying to very unsubtly tell us that we need to talk about this.,” Jeremy finally said.

“Talk about what?” Jean asked, wincing as his voice broke.

Jeremy laughed and Jean squinted and then looked away.

“Like that.  Like how you always look away when I smile at you.”  Jeremy’s smile dimmed.

“Solar retinopathy would be the death of my career,” Jean mumbled.

“Um…what?” Jeremy asked.

“Well look at you.  There’s just so much…light in you.  And me, I’m nothing like that.  I’ve lived in the darkness for so long it’s soaked into every piece of me.  And I don’t know what will happen if I let myself fall into your orbit.  What if I’m just this black hole and I suck the light from you until you implode like me.  And when that happens, how do I go back to living in the dark?” Jean sighed and pulled his knees to his chest.  He dropped his face until his forehead was resting on his bony kneecaps.

“First of all, you are such a nerd but I love extended metaphor so I don’t even care.  And second, there’s no way you’re a black hole.” Jeremy scoffed.

“What am I then?” Jean whispered into his knees.

“You’re like…well if I’m the sun then you’re a sunflower seed!” Jeremy grinned triumphantly.

“A…sunflower seed?” Jean laughed, trying not to let the hysteria creep through

“Yeah, cause you’ve been isolated and stuck down deep in the dark but someone watered you and stuff and now you’re gonna reach for the sunlight and grow big and strong!”  Jeremy reached over and rubbed big slow circles on his back.

“And then fall over when I grow too tall and my stalk can no longer bear the weight of my own hubris,” Jean sighed.

Jeremy punched him in the shoulder and it surprised Jean so much that he looked up at Jeremy again.

“Hey, it’s my metaphor an I get to decide how far we take it.  The point is, I’m trying to reach out.  Maybe you could try a little…and reach back?”  Jeremy said and looked so stupidly hopeful that Jean found himself almost against his will, leaning over and kissing the look off his face.

Jeremy smiled again when Jean pulled back.  And instead of looking away, Jean allowed himself to look his fill and maybe Jeremy is right.  Because he could feel himself getting stronger every moment.  Jeremy put his hand on the side of Jean’s face to pull him back in and this time, Jean let himself reach.