#I love playing art and annoying pebbles | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alx-magazine · 6 months ago

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The sky is cotton candy🍦🍭

I lived by One Republic is playing as Sabrina is biking home for dinner.

It's a late 2012 afternoon, the sun is setting, and mom is about to call for dinner; I oughta get there before she starts to worry.

Peddling and peddling, trying to see how fast I can go down the neighborhood hill; I know, I know, there is a fair chance I might bust my face.

Busting through that door, wafting the aroma of sauteed onions and garlic from dinner, "Mom, I'm home !", I say as I'm going to my mom for a side hug, "It all looks lovely !"

"Well I appreciate it sweetie, come on, we're about to pray."

As a family we fold our arms, I volunteer to say the prayer today, "Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day-."

Dinner was splendid as usual, rice, feijoada, banana, farofa, barbecue ribs, and a salad on the side.

I ate my plate, and immediately went for another serving. Before running upstairs to go to my room, "Don't forget to do your homework !", my mom exclaims behind me.

I don't do my homework; for the life of me, I can't get myself to, I just want to watch YouTube videos and it's almost bedtime.

Scars to your beautiful by Alessia Cara starts playing as I'm in room picking out what to wear for school tomorrow.

Flipping through my closet, I am looking for what I should wear tomorrow; it's going to be Friday, one of my favorite days ! That means I must put together my best outfit of the week. I decided to go with my black, l love Yoshi shirt, my regular skinny jeans, and some white vans. I straighten my hair a bit more so it doesn't look puffy, I know I won't wake up before school to do it. I wear this outfit quite religiously I'll admit, I feel like I radiate in pretty girl energy when I do so.

My hair is a tangled up, curly mess, I feel like I look so much prettier with it straightened; It's a lot to keep up with but as mom says, "beauty hurts."

Now before bed, I must lastly wash my face so I don't break out, and I'm all good to go !

Lights by Ellie Goulding starts playing as the moon is up, goes down, and the sun comes back up.

It's 7th period science class, the day is almost over and I can't wait for the weekend. Walking down the halls, I see all the various social pools. Popular girls holding hands with delinquent, adolescent boys, then there are my friends and I, nerdy art kids with questionable style, being our loud, annoying selves; the highlight of my school day.

Now I'm on the school bus about to head home, and I know that the moment I drop my backpack off, I'll ask my mom if I can go play outside.

My mom gave me permission and with pure excitement, I hop on my teal Schwinn bicycle with brown leather accents and speed away to my friend April's house.

Castle on the hill by Ed Sheeran starts playing as I am approaching her house.

April is my best friend; we grew up together at church since primary, she's a year younger, we always play outside in her front yard. We loved to draw on the driveway with chalk, pretend we're a part of high school musical, jumping rope, hula hoops, and dancing around.

In the summers past, we'd barely get to play outside together, but some nights we'd have late night talks about silly, sappy things on the swings.

Sometimes her parents don't let her play outside, and I'd throw little pebbles at her window, hoping she'd open it and chat for a little without her parents seeing.

She's so my best friend even if she doesn't go to school with me; but hey, every summer we could always spend girls camp together, much like last summer. This year is going to be my third year and her second year at camp; I'm so looking forward to it !

I just approached her house and it looks like she can't play today, and I feel a bit bummed; sometimes it feels like we can barely hang out outside of church.

Little talks by of monsters and men starts playing as I'm throwing little pebbles at her window.

She opens up her window, looking a bit saddened, I wonder why so.

"Hey ! You okay ?"

She nods her head no and I say "come on out, wanna talk about it ?"

She gives me sorrowful eyes, saying, "I can't.."

"Well hey, we can just talk here then."

That's when she breaks the news to me, "I'm moving this summer, I don't think we'll be going to camp together, but you have my parents number if you ever want to talk, I'll make sure they send your parents our new address, maybe we can send each other letters.."

God this sucks. She's my best friend, I wanted so badly to go to girls camp with her this summer. Summer is so ruined.

I tell her, "Whyyyy ? You're my best friendddd ! Do you know where you're going ?"

She tells me, "I'm not too sure but it might be out of the city or state; you send me letters okay ?

In that moment we locked eyes, you can see that we were about to burst into tears. She starts tearing up some and I give her a hug through the window. Until sunset, we just chat like usual, laughing, and for a moment forgetting about the summer bummer.

Soon after, I hop on my bicycle and bike my way home before dinner starts.

Wake me up by Avicii is playing as I'm speeding down the neighborhood hill on my way to supper.

I felt really bummed all night and all weekend. I feel like there's a massive hole in my heart, and sinking feeling in my stomach, I barely wanted to eat dinner that night.

The weekend has passed and another school week has commenced; you can tell I was a walking bummer with my dreadful demeanor. Dreading class, dreading summer, dreading life...without my best friend.

I still went over to play after school as much as I could until the school year ended. Our parents planned an outing for us before the move in hopes of that cheering us up. Hey, at least I look forward to that.

Shower by Becky G is playing as I'm getting ready, singing in the shower with excitement.

I am wearing my soft blue Old Navy tee with skinny jeans and my white vans, my other best outfit.

We are going to hang out at Menchies to get frozen yogurt.

I see her coming in through that door with her parents, she looks beautiful. I swallow my thoughts, I mustn't look at her that way; she is a white rose , and I, troublesome with my rebellious ways.

Giving her a light hug as she walks in, I welcome her with glee. Our parents leave us be to be young teens, as they go walk around the strip mall, talking amongst themselves.

Us girls, we're just chatting away about our usual discourse, silly shows, silly thoughts, jokes, and feelings. The cotton candy sunset looks so pretty, and our frozen yogurt too sweet, not the best for our teeth, with vibrant flavors and candy toppings.

The table underneath, I felt her hand touch mine for a second, brief, and I felt all air lost; it was a foreign feeling to me. I wonder if she felt something too, I doubt it though , girls are only meant to be friends, nothing more of course.

Girls like girls by Hayley Kiyoko starts playing as I am stunned by these brand new thoughts and feelings.

Underneath the table, I feel her fingers caress mine for a bit. I am shocked, completely. I must be overthinking it all.

Underneath the table once more, her fingers lock mine and stay.

And I feel, I feel something I can't put into words; my breath is lost, yet my pacing heart feels still, when she locks her hand in mine, and her hand stays.

I look at her, still for some reason trying to pretend we're just being friendly, and I ask her, "you think you won't have to write to me for too long ?"...."we'll hang out again, won't we ?"

"For sure, I mean, I'd hope to as soon as possible", she says with her eyes looking at her lap; you can tell, she's deeply saddened by this move, just as I am.

"Sabrina ?" , she says to me, "do you wanna have chat in the girl's room ?"

"-uh, sure !", I say, a bit confuzzled by that random request.

Standing by the soft pink stalls, she grabs my hand, you know I'm feeling it all rush down my body like rain on a car window.

I look at her and feel a bit tense, not knowing what's coming next.

"D-don't hate me okay ?", she says awkwardly before kissing me out of the blue; quite courageous of her.

I looked stunned, with my jaw slightly dropped, and my eyes widened, "A-April...", and before making her feel embarrassed, I grabbed her other hand and kissed her back, I wanted her to know that kissing me was okay. You can see in her face that she felt relieved, "I just wanted to make sure I had the chance to do this before I go.", she told me, trying to downplay as we both did, about how we felt.

I kissed a girl by Katy Perry is playing as we both just had our first kiss ever.

"We ought to get back out there before our parents start to worry.", I tell her as I am nervous about getting caught.

She agrees, we both know that this has to be kept between us; She's already moving far away, I don't want her to also be kept away.

Awkwardly walking out the restroom, we sat back down in hopes that our parents didn't see. I know they should be coming back anytime soon. You can tell just how badly we wanted to hold hands again, maybe even lean on each other's shoulders, and as much as I wanted to... I couldn't risk that.

And as much as we wanted to, I'm glad we didn't.

The store door bell jingles as we see both of our parents walk in not too soon after everything. We both try our best to act like we didn't just kiss each other a few minutes ago.

My mom says, "You girls had fun ?, come on, we have to go soon."

Ughhhh, I'm so not looking forward to being away from her. This has got to be the saddest way to start summer.

Summertime sadness starts by Lana del Rey playing as I am looking out the car window on the way home.

It's officially her last day here, I am outside her driveway, watching all the boxes load up into the truck, she's moving some hours away. "I'm glad we got to chat once more, I'll miss you April, don't forget about me okay ?"

With utmost sorrow, we hug for quite a long time, yet not too long, for we don't want to raise suspicion.

Summer passes, and so does a few years. Years of anguish, rebellion, and unrest within my home. I grew into myself, the shades of the girl I once was, the girl I tried so hard to be, had forfeitted over time.

We wrote to each other for sometime, eventually we started texting; although between my constant grounding and her not being allowed to be on social media, contact had faded, and my curiosity had grew.

Did she forget about me eventually ? Did our friendship just fizzle out from the distance ? Did she just outgrow me over time, had forgotten about that moment we shared at Menchies and grew into a person I no longer recognize ?

Glad you came by The wanted started playing as I am in my cap and gown, taking pictures outside after graduation.

I am taking pictures with family outside, and my high school friends soon after. All day I kept hearing something about this so-called "surprise". I know I am having a graduation party after this but I sure wondered what everyone had been talking about.

And to my surprise, "Sabrina !", I hear a familiar voice. As I am looking around I hear once more, "Sabrina, over here !", and oh my did she blossom.

I see her, I see her, it's her !, "April !", I yell out as we both run towards each other for a long awaited hug.

We both sobbed our eyes out, and to our embarrassment, our families are laughing, smiling as they are taking pictures of us.

"-N-no way !", I am on the floor sobbing, and the sky is cotton candy, just like that day we spent at Menchies.

"Come on, we have a graduation party to attend !", she says with excitement.

She IS the surprise.

Uma Thurman by Fall out boy is playing as we are both throwing down moves at my graduation party.

And underneath the starlit skies, somewhere outside, where only we knew, we kissed, and kissed, like our lips longed for this moment, to coexist.

As we grew older, eventually to branch out and away from our shame, many more late afternoons were spent, and as it was then, it is to this day; The sky is cotton candy 🍦🍭.

Forever stuck in our youth by Set it off is playing as the screen fades to only, soft pink, cotton candy skies.

*for Spotify premium users // you can queue the songs (bolded text) in order to follow along with the soundtrack*

#art #my writing #poetry #music #indie pop #2015 tumblr #2010s #pop music #spotify #lgbt #sapphic #mormon #lesbian #story #playlist

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bichitosdecolores · 9 months ago

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i finished rain world and downpour so here are my thoughts :3

(really long post below)

survivor, vanilla cat

spoilers start

you are cat. you are alone scared week and confuse. you encounter big computer robot. you eat her brain. get instructions on how to die by another computer robot how is mad because he cannot die. you go and die. 10/cat

spoilers end

ok but seriously, survivors campaign is my favorite because is infinitely replayable, you can go through it in so many different ways… the sense of discovery and immersion is immaculate. and most importantly, unlike (most) other campaigns, when playing survivor i didn’t feel like playing as a video game character, i felt like survivor. i understood perfectly how the silly cat was feeling and why it was doing what it was doing. it’s really weird in a video game to be able to make you feel so connected to a character, specially to a silent blob in a cryptic world.

Campaign: 10/10 best ca(t)mpaign.

Cat: 9/10. really versatile cat.

Story: 9999/10 again, this is one of the very few games i’ve played where the story IS the gameplay. and what a catntastic story it is.

(i’m bad)

arti, artificier, kaboom mom

you go commit a murder. and you explode. that’s about it.

Campaign: 6/10. really fun, also incredibly unfair and at times. the one i’m less likely to replay ever, but i did enjoy it a lot.

Cat: 10/10 you go kaboom and it big fun.

Story: 8/10. i like it!. not as strong as survivor but it is really good. is still the story of a cat and i like that, also the way the flashbacks play is really cool.

(i’m still bad)

gourmand, round cat, the most powerful being on heart.

i killed more things in this campaign that in any other, and i wasn’t even trying.

Campaign: 8/10 good old campaign. i like it a lot, it’s really similar to survivor but with a hard optional hard quest. i didn’t give it a higher score because, one, since is the first campaign in the dlc and also the most similar to survivor i find it quite boring to play (though on replay it’s not such a problem), and two, the difficulty in this one is reallyy weird. it either completely unfair or ridiculously easy and no in between.

Cat: 7/10. it’s really silly, in the best way possible. really fun when is being fun but infuriating when it isn’t.

Story: 10/10. gourmand literally said fuck this depressing world i’m going to have the time of my life, and it did. and i love it for that.

(i’m kind of good)

Rivulet, Ruffles, The Silly

you fast. that it.

Campaign: 9/10. it’s so much fun. i didn’t even found 5p region frustrating (even though it’s definitely not the best). also i found the use of the campaign objectives very good implemented. the refraction cell is so fun to carry around, swimming feels awesome, exploration is great and the movement is so fun. (although, combat and spears are literally rendered useless by rivulet speed and i don’t love that). will replay for sure

Cat: 9/10. again, incredibly fun but it kind of breaks half of the original mechanics of the game.

Story: 10/10 emotionally, 5/10 lord wise, 4/10 cat wise, so like 6/10. idk, i love the story it tells for moon and pebbsi pebbles because it makes me sad and happ, but i also don’t like it because it kind of ruins the feeling and theme of the original game a little and also because rivulet makes no sense at all. i have a google document with like 4 theories to make it makes sense and while writing that was fun, it is obvious that none of them are cannon and that rivulets story is only a way to keep telling moons and pebbles story, is no longer the story of a cat and that makes me sad. top 3 ending screen art though.

(ruffles goes brrr)

spear master, 7, the cat of the saddest robot

i have. way to many feelings on this to make it make sense but i’ll try.

Campaign: with pearl? 8/10, it’s just kinda annoying, i hate that pearl. with a little bit of passage cheese? 9/10, it is so fun. i like this campaign because it feels very very alien. the other downpour campaign also feel like they don’t fit in this world as good as the vanilla campaigns and while in those cases it makes the campaign a little worst then the original, i’ll like to argue spearmasters is the only one in which the effect is opposite.

light spoilers start

as we learn spearmaster was artificially created and heavily modified by seven red sums aka the best character in the game.

light spoilers end

the way they feed is stabbing things and is so weird. they look like they don’t belong, they play like they don’t belong, this cat creates spears made of bone out of its tail! it’s insane. they are too strong, they don’t feel part of the food change as much as they feel like they are disrupting it. but unlike rivulet speed, arti explosives or gourmand… godlikenindes?, it is the point. they were created artificially for exactly this. they can beat all and every preparator because they were designed to do so. not only that but the story also feels so much more natural, closer to survivors immersion then any of the others, because yes, you are just following a straight path, doing a set mission. but not because the game says so but because your creator says so. because that is your only porpoise. no exploration and wonder and open world. you go do what you were told by that who designed you to be unable to fit in this world. and it makes playing as sm so engaging.

Cat: 10/10. literally survivor but with infinite spears, it takes the pre existing mechanics of the game and just makes them more accessible so you can mess around. feeding is still weird, why did you take away its mouth? (i’m taking to you suns)

Story: 8/10. this is going to be long again, so sorry. Ok so first things first. the reading the transmissions as the primary way of storytelling is not my favorite, but it works. the environmental storytelling in this one is crazy good, (spoilers start) seeing moon in her full structure right after survivor and rivulet is heartbreaking and breathtaking. pebbles is also pretty good in this one. he is clinically insane, i love him. (spoilers end) overall is a great story but not the most compelling for how is told.

until!

that reading works if you analice sm campaign as the others, but as i said before, i think the weird and unfitting in this campaign is what makes it better than the others. for example, the method of storytelling requiring you to reed this long messages between iterators kinda of kills the immersion at times and feels out of place. this is in my opinion the point. sm is not supposed to find and read this, this is NOT their story, in the eyes of their creator, they are not even a character in it but a mere tool. so yeah it feels like the story is disconnected because, again, it is. my favorite part of sm campaign is this feeling and the context provided by the iterators conversations; that they are so close to being gods, so isolated from the world, so disconnected by design, unable to fully experience life, that they will create and use living feeling creatures like sm and hunter as tools without malice but out of ignorance and disconnect. and i love that because it reminds us how insignificant slugcat and all creatures are in comparison to these semi immortal machines, it gives us once more a glance of this world and its story making us wonder what it once was and making the world feel interesting and endlessly big, just as survivor’s campaign did.

Also it has suns and sig in it so 100/10 i love grape cat

(i killed more scavengers as sm than arti, i feel bad)

saint

look. i played the campaign, i read the wiki, i watched videos on it, i still don’t get it.

Campaign: 7.5/10. the world looks insane, the level design is really good, the art gorgeous and the echoes hunt is pretty fun and interesting. moon and 5p are great too. finding 5p made me tear up, something no other game had ever done, so yeah. good. and then you get to rubicon :)))) also as i said, the story looks cool! i wish it made sense. i can make silly theories for rivulet but there is no explanation for saint that doesn’t obliterate the rest of the cannon (if it is pleaseee tell me)

Cat: really fun, it’s almost a new game with pretty much every mechanic of the original removed or drastically changed. and while i understand some people may (understandably) dislike this, i think they are really well implemented mechanics, i had a lot of fun. (until the end when the game took way to many of those drug mushrooms and the mechanics, level design, enemies and everything else went rubicon, if you know what i mean. (for the record, i didn’t have a terrible time at rubicon and i don’t hate it as much as a lot of people do buut i do think is a bad ending mechanically speaking, but i’m no game designer so what do i know). i’ll love to replay it and i’ll likely do. and then quit just as i get to rubicon :))

Story: ???/10 what the hell just happen

(i killed a single spider!)

in summary, play rain world or else

ok thanks for reading i’ll go back at obsessing over yellow depressed robot

#red plays games #red plays rain world #pros of being bored: i wrote this :3

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homicidal-slvt · 1 year ago

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Ok. So. Technically I'm aroace but I'm too curious about who'd I'd date so let's ignore that fact. I only know Until Dawn, though, so the character pool is smoll.

I'm a genderless fool with no ability to read social queues. Average size, skinny and pointy. My hair is currently a weird mix of bluish grey, porple and yellowish fade because I keep procastinating on redying it, short and mullet-esque? Kinda? I have glasses, and no fashion sense, I just wear whatever I feel like. I talk a lot. A bit too much, probably, because I don't like silences in conversations so I try to fill them with fun facts and trivia about whatever, which I guess can be annoying? Fuck if I know. I'm obsessed in very niche and scattered topics, from art to programming to the French Revolution (which is the main obsession taking over my brain) to sword fighting to Spiderman comics to fucking pigeons and corvids. I will rant about these topics. I will try to swordfight you with sticks. I will bring you pretty pebbles that make me think of you, and compare you with historical figures I like.

Good luck assigning me someone lol, have a nice day!

DISCLAIMER: This is all based on my view of the characters and others are likely to see them differently. If you are unhappy with your result- I'm sorry. <3

Matt Taylor

I just love him and think he deserved so much better honestly...

He's literally the sweetest and would sit and talk to you for long periods of time, doesn't get annoyed by your rambling and in fact will just sit and listen. He tries to remember the things you tell him and keeps all the gifts you give him.

Loves being able to be silly and playful with you, harmless fun playing with sticks and just messing around.

I'd imagine he begins picking up on your little habits and returns the small random gifts of things he knows you'll like.

He's just so calm and patient- all sweet smiles and you know he'll look out for you no matter what. Never wants you to feel bad or annoying and hates it if any of the others act like you talk too much.

"I saw this comic and I wanted to surprise you with it..."

{I wasn't sure exactly who would be the best fit. I actually tried to keep it pretty neutral so you could also take this as him just being your best friend!!! Either way I hope you like it. 🩷}

#vee's until dawn works

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scummy-writes · 3 years ago

Text

Better in The Morning

Rating: Explicit (Minors dni)

Words: 5703

Pairing: Theo/Arthur

Tags: Jealousy, Drinking, Blood Drinking, Anal Sex, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Light Angst, Choking, Idiots to Lovers, Biting, Theocona

Full fic under the cut!

Preview:

The feel of Theo’s tongue against his drew a shudder out. Arthur twisted his fingers into Theo’s shirt, head beginning to spin as Theo’s kisses grew rough, more demanding, making Arthur’s hands shake as he blindly searched for the buttons of Theo’s shirt and clumsily worked them. It was difficult to concentrate or even attempt taking back control when Theo kept stealing his breath, and Arthur was pleased; safe from the burden of thinking past impulses.

Three buttons undone, and Arthur’s palms spread out against Theo’s chest as they finally broke apart, gasping for breath. He watched as Theo surveyed him, taking in the sight of his hair disheveled, his slick and swollen lips. Arthur knew the heat spread across his cheeks was obvious, and when a ghost of a prideful smirk took over Theo’s features, Arthur wrapped his arms around his neck with a strained chuckle.

------

Sex was just a formula in the end: Flirting, enticing, tempting touches. Hushed promises breathed against heated skin, the shuffling of clothes along with the creak of a mattress. Slow, purposeful touches that crept faster, until thinking wasn’t needed as instinct took over.

Or, most of the time it’s how it went.

Arthur hazily looked at the woman laid bare in front of him, sweat shining on her breasts while her hands dug into the sheets. Her eyes were squeezed shut, mouth hung open as her gasps and groans began to rise higher in pitch. With such a pretty little bird beneath him and pleasure making his mind spin, how was it that his thoughts kept flitting elsewhere? Making his breath catch for other reasons; movements falter.

What a disservice to the one calling his name…

Arthur leaned over her, making her shiver with the playful nips he drew along her jaw, trailing further and further below until he could nose her pulse, sighing at the fragrance of perfume mixed with such a lovely drink. He timed his bite with a harsh thrust of his hips, feeling her nails dig into his back as she clenched around him.

It wasn’t as if it was a bore, but the only thirst quenched tonight was that of his throat. He found himself getting dressed rather quickly after discarding the condom, and the woman hazily reached out to him, barely having caught her breath and struggling to keep lucid with the pleasure still trembling through her.

“W-where are you…?”

“Ah, sorry luv,” He feigned a pout, giving a quick kiss to her cheek, “got a rather busy morning tomorrow, can’t quite risk being late.”

Granted, he wasn’t a total ass. Arthur made sure to clean up the mess they made without disturbing her too much as she faded out, but he was still out on the streets faster than usual. Huffing to himself, he stretched as he walked.

When was the last time sex felt so pitiful for him?

Deep down Arthur knew the reasons why, but he was stubborn, if anything. Refusing to give his feelings a name as they steadily bubbled within him, begrudgingly recalling a scene from earlier this afternoon. Where he had finally caught a glimpse of Theo after days on end of elusive misses; the man having been too busy to even linger for breakfast- or rather, linger long enough for Arthur to wake up and join.

He had been so excited too, walking up to try and ask the art dealer for some of his time. Only to stop when a woman seemed to join Theo, watching as her bright laughter brought on a smile he had never seen from Theo before.

It was such a small scene, and truly, shouldn’t he feel happy for his stoic friend? Instead, his throat had felt tight, a wash of bitterness overtaking him as he turned back around, finding himself heading towards visiting his favorite pub.

Now, Arthur kicked a pebble ahead of him as he walked home, unable to properly distract himself as he played the scene out over and over in his mind.

---

Arthur sighed, dropping his pen aside as he took his glasses off. Crumpled papers were littered on his desk, and his current sheet in front of him was just filled with scratched out words and ink blots. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to produce, after being awake for well over a full twenty-four hours now. It wasn’t as if his eighth cup of coffee would magically yield better results than the last.

“Blast…”

It was too late to go out of the mansion at this point, far too late to see if he could even swoon some minx into a distraction- and the appeal of that dwindled down as he remembered the pisspoor attempt from last time…

Standing up, he stretched his back before slumping.

Running from troubles were always temporary, in the end. After a while, they caught up, and Arthur knew when he had to settle in and let them run their course. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t be sour over it, hating the way his anxieties and fears would churn in his stomach, but at least his reluctant acceptance still gave him a vague feeling of agency over his own mind turning against him.

The parlor felt like a breath of fresh air in comparison to his stuffy room, and Arthur placed the decanter of whiskey he snatched on the side table, knowing he could be left alone to ruminate over his childish feelings in peace, nursing a glass and hoping to fall asleep. The warm glow the light gave off certainly helped him feel a bit drowsy, even if his wandering thoughts were working against him in that regard.

Arthur settled himself into the chair, pouring himself a drink as he surveyed the cover of a book. Just a harmless collection of poetry, but recalling the way Theo seemed so absorbed reading it in the salon made his stomach stir. Against his better judgement, he opened the book and flipped through the pages, scanning each stanza and wondering.

Was Theo reading this and thinking of that woman? Each flowery bit of prose bringing that same smile she had managed to drudge out as Theo thought about her?

Arthur knew he had no right to be so torn up about this, not when he had a body count that was too high to remember, but…

It still stung regardless. Pooling in the pit of his stomach, making his breaths harder to take in the longer this feeling ruminated inside. He knew that, even if he weren't so cowardly, that he hadn't a hope of pulling those smiles out of Theo. That his refusal to admit his feelings, even to himself, was what had landed him in this mess.

Of course, while he sat there bitterly overlooking poem after poem, the man he had been lamenting about comes into the parlor. At the height of Arthur’s self degradation, nonetheless.

A gruff sigh spilled out of Theo once Arthur wearily met his gaze. He didn’t say anything at first, eyes glancing at the bottle resting beside Arthur, then towards the book he held. If Theo had any strong feelings towards the poetry, he didn’t show it as he walked over, taking the seat beside him.

“Didn’t think you read the stuff.”

Didn’t think you did either. But Arthur shrugged, setting the book aside, “someone left it in here.”

It was quiet. Theo didn’t seem to have any reason to come into the parlor, but he sat patiently beside Arthur regardless, toying with the decanter’s top as time ticked by.

“How long have you been here?”

“Mm. Dunno. Long enough to wonder how long until le Comte updates his library,” he gestured his glass towards the book resting between them, “that book is older than the both of us.”

Arthur could feel Theo’s gaze on him. It wasn’t like the man was attempting to hide it, but he kept silent as Arthur took a slow sip of his whiskey with a sigh.

“Couldn’t find a ‘bird’ to put up with you tonight?”

And deal with another woman with a mothering complex trying to ‘nurse him’ back to whatever his normal was? No. He just shrugged at Theo’s question instead, raking a hand through his hair as he slouched in his seat, shaking his head, “wasn’t in the mood.”

“Mm. Finally gaining a conscience over leaving those women alone in the morning?”

The gentle prod was obvious, but Arthur ignored it as he poured himself another glass. He wasn’t sure what brought forth concern on Theo’s end. Did he look as haggard as he felt? Sleep had never came last night, and he knew that much was obvious, but what else was causing Theo’s eyes to narrow while Arthur stared into the amber liquid?

Downing it in one go, Arthur made the motion towards the decanter but felt Theo’s hand on his.

The warmth of Theo’s hand stole his thoughts away. He was so used to wearing gloves that he found himself unable to recall a moment where they had skin to skin contact before now. Skinship that wasn’t drunken brushes between each other. Arthur swallowed thickly, mind overcome with imaginings of Theo holding that woman’s hand and smiling- smiles Arthur could never evoke from him, feeling his chest clench again.

Drinking suddenly felt like a need, rather than a want.

“Theo?”

Theo blinked, swallowing when his eyes wavered with something Arthur couldn't catch, “we both know you’re a lightweight, slow down on the drinking.”

Arthur’s brows furrowed, shaking Theo’s hand off, “we’re at home, anyway, ‘s not like I’m going to cause trouble.”

“Arthur.”

“Bloody hell, what is it?” Theo recoiled at his tone. He took his time with a response, ruminating on the words for a reason Arthur couldn’t fathom, but the words just made his sudden temper worse.

“Drinking isn’t going to help whatever mood you're in.”

Silence stretched out between them as Arthur held his breath, his glass still resting on the table as they looked at each other. Theo’s concern was evident, and deep down Arthur knew that it was genuine; possibly even what had prompted Theo to come into the room to begin with, but jealousy kept skewing his perception. Arthur clicked his tongue as he finally tore his gaze away.

“It’ll help me sleep tonight,” another pause, then Arthur rubbed his eyes with a huff, annoyed at himself, “I haven’t slept for ages-”

“Drinking will knock you flat on your ass, but you know as well as I do that it’ll make you go through hell when you finally do wake up.”

“Maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment-” It certainly felt like it when he couldn’t stop himself from deliberately pushing people away from him, but Theo ignored his depressive tone, yanking the decanter out of his grasp.

“Then, view this as a punishment.”

"For God's sake- you're going to do this all night aren't you?"

It wasn't so much a question, not with how Arthur rolled his eyes, finishing off his glass before Theo could think about grabbing it. "You do know there's more booze in the mansion, don't you?"

Theo shrugged his shoulders, "I know that if you're too lazy to go distract yourself with one of your 'skirts', you're too lazy to scour for more."

Arthur didn't respond, eyes closed as he leaned upon his elbow, propping his head up with a sigh.

"... What do you propose, then?"

At Arthur’s first stumble out of the parlor, Theo tsked and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, huffing a reprimand in the process. It was an accident, Arthur really hadn’t drank that much yet, but… He let himself be led towards his room, feeling careless ideas come to mind the longer he let Theo keep his grip.

Each step closer, Arthur considered his options, feeling his emotions battling out his rationale. What proof did he have of Theo really getting with that woman? A quick glance and Theo had no lipstick markings on his cheeks or neck, no scent of perfume… Most people were quick to spend as much time with a new partner in the beginning stages. Given that Theo rarely had any breaks from work and didn’t appear to spend his rare day off with the woman Arthur had saw, it opened two possibilities.

Either they had yet to breach the hurdle of admitting their feelings towards each other, or they had been together for longer than Arthur realized.

The latter stung at the back of his throat as he swallowed the thought down, focusing on the first. Because if they had yet to get together… Well, Arthur could do what he does best.

He smiled bitterly to himself, playing up the role of a drunk as they neared Theo’s room.

Excuses. That’s what Arthur needed; something to make his behavior forgettable in the morning. Something to make his shame easier to deal with the next day. He took advantage of Theo’s dazed state after they stumbled into his room, cupping his cheeks mid-scold and stealing a lingering kiss. At first, Theo seemed frozen, unsure of how to react, and Arthur’s fear exacerbated. He nipped at Theo’s bottom lip, feeling his shoulders drop with relief when the man finally kissed him back.

Theo was hesitant, his grip unfocused as Arthur managed to take the lead; distracting him as he slowly backed Theo into his desk chair, straddling him easily. When they broke apart, panting as Theo’s confused look swept over him, the taste of him still lingered on Arthur’s lips as he nervously licked them, “don’t you want a distraction too?”

Theo’s gaze narrowed for a moment. The threat of getting an answer he feared pushed Arthur to act impulsively, crashing their lips together in one fluid movement.

Regardless of how clumsy it was, Arthur was thankful when he felt Theo’s grip focus on his ass, pushing their bodies flush together and dragging out as gasp when his fingers threaded themselves in Arthur’s hair; holding him in place as their rushed kisses deepened. Every heavy breath between them reeked of ethanol, and as Arthur felt Theo slowly get harder, he pushed the thoughts of their crumbling friendship aside.

“You’re not going to stop there, are you?”

With a slow blink, Theo finally came back to the present and slid his palms over Arthur’s ass again. A surge of heat rushed through Arthur, making him bite his lip in pleasure.

They weren’t sober by any means, but neither of them were drunk. Yet when Theo suddenly began pressing his lips against Arthur’s neck, he let out a breathless, excited laugh with his groan, Arthur’s head spinning as if he had drank his limit three times over.

A brush of Theo’s fangs against his skin made Arthur thread his fingers through Theo’s locks, shivering with the teasing waves of pleasure it brought. Slowly, the chair they sat on began to creak as Arthur rolled his hips, grinding their clothed erections together with an open moan. It only took a few more desperate pushes to coax Theo into changing positions.

Arthur nearly yelped as Theo abruptly stood up, carrying him over towards his bed with much more ease than expected- only to drop Arthur onto the mattress.

“Bloody hell, Theo, I’m not a toy-” but his flash of annoyance disappeared as Theo straddled him, working his shirt off. Unable to look away, Arthur’s eyes raked over Theo’s chest, a hum of appreciation unabashedly slipping out, “... maybe we should have done this sooner.”

Theo scoffed, beginning to roughly unbutton Arthur’s shirt, looking pleased when Arthur arched into his touch. Excited, Arthur smirked as he slid his hands between them, deftly unbuckling Theo’s belt.

It was rushed, and Arthur liked it that way. Dragging out teasing touches just opened up the chance for his unwanted thoughts to consume him and take him out of the mood. Arthur wanted to speed this up, drive Theo mad enough to shove his face into the mattress and give him the mindless pleasure he craved. So he tugged Theo’s zipper down and cupped his length, a breathless laugh escaping him when Theo briefly thrusted against his palm with a low grunt.

Arthur took Theo’s open pleasure in stride, grinning as he slipped his hand into Theo’s boxers, grasping his cock and giving a few loose strokes. Already, precum was leaking from Theo’s slit, and Arthur couldn’t help the soft groan he let out when he felt it wet his palm, “all because of me, hm?”

“Something like that.”

The unintentional pout he gave made Theo bark out a laugh, which caused his lips to twist into a frown. ‘Something like that’. He’ll make it because of him, regardless of Theo’s pride.

Running his thumb over Theo’s slit, he dragged the precum gathered there in a slow, teasing circle along his glans, loving how Theo’s eyes fluttered shut with a moan, “mm, are you sure?”

Theo’s eyes snapped open in annoyance, and suddenly Arthur’s belt was roughly being undone and tossed aside so Theo could yank his pants down enough to take his cock into his hand, mimicking Arthur’s earlier motions. Giddily, Arthur thrust into Theo’s grip, letting out a content, low sigh, “finally.”

He had to wonder what he looked like to Theo, a man he was unsure of would even find pleasure in any of this before now. A flushed, sultry mess like the minxes Arthur happily devoured, tempting Theo to explore new sinful approaches to their relationship?

Arthur almost scoffed at himself, but he still played his part; tugging Theo down by his arm, demanding another flurry of biting kisses as their cocks brushed against each other. He took delight in the strained moan Theo choked on when Arthur reached between them, grasping their throbbing cocks in his hand. There wasn’t any need for words. Theo quickly began to slip his tongue back into Arthur’s mouth, thrusting in time with Arthur’s strokes, swallowing their muffled moans.

But then Theo’s fingers pried Arthur’s grip open, threading their hands together and instead forced Arthur to stroke them like that- as if they were holding hands. It shouldn’t have tripped Arthur up, not when the move made it easier for them to chase after their release, but he found his thoughts slipping back towards a different type of neediness.

It took a lot to break apart from Theo, who quickly busied himself nipping at Arthur’s neck while he caught his breath long enough to speak, “H-hey, surely you don’t want it to- ahn, end like this?”

“Mm, think you can handle otherwise?”

Arthur just chuckled, running a hand through his sweaty bangs, “don't make me beg, Theo, I'm not sure either of us could take it.”

The cocky tone earned him a harsh nip to his pulse, making Arthur let out a choked noise when Theo paired it with a squeeze to the tip of their cocks. Theo finally let go after a moment and carefully got off of him, reaching into his nightstand to pull out a jar of lube.

"I can't believe you jerk off more than sleep around, ' Arthur mused and removed his undergarments as Theo rolled his eyes, '...what does the stubborn Theodorus Van Gogh get off to, hm?"

His question seemingly went ignored as Theo came back to him, fingers slick with lube. Gently he rested his knees on the bed, nudging Arthur to spread his legs before he spread lube around his hole.

Arthur hated this. He hated the careful way Theo pushed a finger inside of him, watching as Arthur held his breath. It’s not as if it hurt- god only knows how often Arthur’s been more adventurous- but the process takes time. And asking patience from a man who was struggling as much as he was torture.

“Better tell me if it hurts, klootzak.”

He nodded, knowing Theo would stop otherwise. After a few careful pumps, Theo pressed another finger inside, drawing a content sigh of his name from Arthur. By the time the third one was in, Arthur slowly began to stroke himself, shooting a smile Theo’s way when he watched intently, “enjoying the show?”

“Wondering how you manage to keep from being a quick shot.”

"Believe it or not, I do have some self control."

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he scoffed.

The way Theo smirked as the tip of his cock started to push into him made Arthur’s arousal flare, and… Well, it didn't feel bad, but Arthur winced as Theo inched deeper, his length thicker than Arthur had initially believed.

With that slip in confidence, Theo stopped abruptly, making Arthur grumble impatiently.

"Come now, you're not going to tease me this badly, are you?"

"You're already wincing-"

"Well, I didn't realize your thick-headedness extended that far down, Theo."

Regardless, Theo carefully pulled out of Arthur, evidently ready to settle on a different method of getting off.

“If you’re that worried then,” Arthur sat up, stealing another kiss before muttering against Theo’s mouth, “lay down.”

The look Theo gave was skeptical, but he backed off. Laying down he eyed Arthur, his caution ebbing away as Arthur threw a leg over his waist, straddling him with a grin. He kept one hand on Theo's chest as he reached behind him, giving Theo’s thick length a few good strokes before steering the tip of his cock to his entrance. The anticipation that had built up in Arthur’s abdomen dissolved into a fiery heat once he gingerly lowered himself onto Theo’s cock, his quiet gasps making Theo grab onto his thighs in a flash of worry.

“Hey, don’t push yourse-,” but Arthur’s hips sank down in one fluid movement before Theo could finish, taking Theo’s cock in as deep as he could manage.

“F-fuck, Theo, I-” a shudder overcame Arthur as his own cock throbbed with need.

“Yeah? Thought you said you could take it?”

He shot Theo a bleary-eyed glare, one that barely lingered, his expression morphing into one of pleasure as he tested a roll of his hips, loving the way Theo’s length pushed back into him impatiently.

Arthur spread his hands out on Theo's chest, doing his best to ignore how fast Theo's heart was beating as he used the leverage to start an unsteady pace.

It was difficult to quip about Theo's flushed features, not when his head was already spinning from finally getting Theo tangled up with him like this. Each bounce on Theo's cock slowly made Arthur's composure slip, his speed faltering when he managed to plunge Theo's cock in deeper on some thrusts more than others.

Admittedly, it drove Arthur nearly mad; getting Theo just where he wanted him, only for Arthur to clumsily take his cock like this. Whereas Theo… Arthur hesitated, shivering from the excitement buzzing throughout him, Theo still wore a confident smirk with his skin just as flushed as Arthur’s.

"I thought you've done this before?"

"I have- y-you're just so bloody thick-" Theo's rough hands grabbed ahold of his hips, interrupting Arthur as Theo pulled him down just as he thrusted upwards, drawing out a strangled cry from the writer, "Theo!"

“Does it hurt?”

“No-”

“Then,” Theo tightened his grip, keeping up the pace and covering the speed Arthur was lacking, “stop complaining.”

And maybe Arthur really had too much to drink; he couldn’t focus on anything but chasing the pleasure of this secretly harbored fantasy coming to life. He was unable to care about the noises spilling out as Theo roughly guided Arthur’s hips to meet each thrust he gave.

The throbbing arousal coursing through him reached a dangerous peak not too long after, and Arthur’s nails dug into Theo’s chest as he attempted to regain some clarity and control himself better. But Theo slowed and stopped moving, causing Arthur to pant out a curse.

"Y-You're such a devil-!"

"Mm, doesn't seem to stop you from mewling."

Arthur’s head spun as Theo pulled out, drawing an embarrassing whine out until he was pushed onto his back. Theo's palms slid along the underside of Arthur's thighs, ass, until he grabbed his sides, pushing in deep with a lazy roll of his hips.

"Uhn- ah! Theo-" Arthur’s voice was already strained, but another groan bubbled up when Theo picked up the pace. It was obvious Theo was getting close, his jaw clenched tight as his thrusts delved deeper, harsh enough to make the bed creak in tandem.

Fumbling, Arthur tugged on Theo’s locks to crash their lips together again. Nails dug into his hips for a moment, and then Theo broke them apart, eyes narrowed at Arthur’s chuckle.

Finding a hand at his throat, Arthur lightly gasped as Theo’s barely-there grip focused on the sides of his throat. It was enough to give Arthur a chance to rasp out any type of rejection to the idea, but instead the writer dug his heels into Theo’s ass, urging him to keep going.

At first, Theo kept his hold as it was, but as he began to get closer to his release, he tightened it just enough for Arthur’s knees to press against his waist, Arthur’s eyes going hazy at the new pleasure.

And then he let go, permitting Arthur to take in a deep breath, “fuck…”

“Tell me if I need to stop,” Theo warned, but Arthur just chuckled.

“Don’t stop until you cum. You’re, ahn, just as close as I am, h-huh?” Arthur gave him a smug look despite the flush on his cheeks, despite the way his bangs were ruffled and damp with sweat; Theo gripped him tight as he leaned over, nipping and sucking a mark onto his neck, right where his collar couldn’t reach. Arthur’s cock throbbed at the sensation, feeling as though he was being claimed.

“Then- Tell me where you want it.”

"I-inside! Oh hell, Theo, I want to feel it-"

Arthur's back arched as Theo's grip tightened again, feeling Arthur clench around his cock.

"Feel what?"

Release, Arthur sucking in air as he spoke all at once.

"Want to feel your cock throb- a-as you cum, mmph. Make me feel- ghk-!"

Another tightened grip, and Arthur's eyes welled as Theo slammed into him, heavily panting as Arthur shook with each thrust. The lack of air nearly became unbearable, but just before it was too much, Theo let go. Instead he pushed on Arthur’s thighs, nearly folding him in half as he thrusted once, twice, and then spilled inside with a rasp.

The faint smell of ethanol lingered between them, mixed into the way Arthur desperately tugged Theo close, smashing their lips together in clumsy kisses. He threaded his fingers through Theo's hair, keeping him in place for just a moment, to meet his gaze when they broke apart.

"Theo."

His name is muttered as a lovelorn sigh, Arthur's eyes searching his for something, but Theo dipped his head against Arthur's neck, avoiding the unspoken confession as his fangs broke skin.

“Ah-Ah! Oh gods-” Arthur’s nails dig deep into Theo’s back and scalp, his noises turning into choked rasps as Theo reached between them, jerking Arthur off to the timing of his slowing thrusts.

Arthur lasted just long enough for Theo to pull his fangs out, to let out a string of curses as he tensed and spilled over Theo’s hand, and then Theo pulled out with shuddering breaths, forehead planted against Arthur’s shoulder.

It took what felt like ages for the two of them to catch their breath. As soon as the afterglow fades and a slow ache replaces it, Arthur found his thoughts immediately settling onto his current issue: Theo. Who was refusing to look at him, head still pressed against his shoulder.

Embarrassment started to creep in the longer they refused to speak.

What did you do, Arthur?

"Well, that was a nice bit of fun," he swallowed thickly, hoping Theo can't feel the hammering in his chest, "perhaps we should do this again sometime…"

Theo groaned, frustration clear, "is sex the only thing that's ever on your mind?"

"You weren't complaining before-"

But Theo finally got up, sitting back on his knees, "can you get up?"

"What, kicking me out so soon? No wonder you can only get with your hand."

"Bath, Arthur. Trying to see if you can make it to the le therme."

Oh…

Shame struck Arthur once they both sink into the water, the heat drawing attention to all the parts of him that ache. He was lucky his job wasn't anything like Theo's, and that he could get away with sitting on his ass all day.

Getting here wasn't as easy as he thought. All his bravado fizzled away when it became apparent just how hard they had gone at it, and Arthur's stumble when getting up prompted Theo to…

Well, he's just thankful no one saw how pathetic he looked getting here.

Arthur sank a little deeper into the water as the silence between them stretched out, glad the heat was helping his lower back. But the longer they were quiet, the more Arthur’s thoughts rushed; had anyone else heard them? What was Theo thinking right now?

Had Arthur just ruined whatever was built up between them, or were those feelings completely one-sided?

An annoyed tsk caused him to glance at Theo, who was rubbing his neck.

“Did you have to leave a mark so high up? How am I going to explain this…”

Ah… now that he was looking at Theo in the light, he noticed his desperation all over him. Lovebites along his neck and collar, Theo’s hair still mussed and scratches along his shoulder… At the thought of others catching a glimpse, Arthur felt his jealousy simmer.

“I think it looks good,” looked like he’s taken, at least.

"I feel sorry for all those women you sleep with if they wake up like this. Tch, I look like a fool."

Arthur wasn't sure what to feel. Proud? Sated? There was a sliver of joy humming inside of him; he finally got a taste of what he'd been craving for so long. But guilt and fear were quickly taking ahold of him, unable to keep himself from wondering just how bad he screwed things up.

"What does this mean now?" The question slipped out as soon as he thought it, and Arthur felt his ears burn as Theo shrugged.

"You said you wanted a distraction, and you got it."

Ouch. But he did deserve that, he supposed.

"So… We just go along like this never happened?" Theo gave him a noncommittal grunt, and Arthur kept on, "Theo, just humor me, will you?"

There was a sigh, Theo rubbing the back of his neck, "I don't know what answer you want, Arthur. For fucks sake, neither of us were thinking."

"Doesn't this have higher stakes for you? What about that pretty bird you keep taking strolls along the Seine with?"

Theo froze, giving Arthur an incredulous look, "you mean Mr. Garnier’s wife?"

Arthur went quiet, feeling heat in his cheeks as he processed Theo's words, and the accompanying embarrassment. Weakly, he stammered, "i-is that the only woman you've… you've been seeing?"

And Theo, the bastard, burst in laughter as a response. Not quietly either; loud enough to make Arthur's ears ring as the foolishness of this situation sunk in.

"Theo, for gods sake-"

"Is that what this was all about? Is that why you were in such a mood earlier?"

Arthur covered his face, his pride washing away, "my god man, do shut up."

His laughter continued until it faded off into a chuckle. Seeing Arthur still unable to look his way, Theo finally relaxed, wrapping an arm around Arthur’s shoulders and tugging him close.

“Come ‘ere.” Arthur still doesn’t speak, but Theo slowly continues, choosing his words carefully, “is this really why you’ve been moody lately?”

“At this point, does it really matter if I give an answer?”

Reviewing tonight’s events should have been enough of an answer, but with the reluctant confirmation, Theo just gives Arthur a half-hearted squeeze. It made Arthur finally relax his shoulders, no longer hiding his face.

“I’m… Not good with these things, Arthur,” No, he wasn’t. It was another reason Arthur had been so surprised to see him happily with another woman. But now, knowing all of that jealousy was pointless, to an extent, well… Arthur kept quiet as Theo continued, “even before arriving here, when I didn’t have so much weighing me down, I wasn’t good at this. But…”

Theo trailed off before taking another deep breath, “if this is genuine... then I’m willing to give it a try. With you.”

Surprised, Arthur looked over to meet Theo’s gaze- only to see the man was turned away, the tips of his ears reddened.

“‘I’m not good at these things’, he says…”

Theo turned to shoot him a glare, only frowning when he realized it let Arthur see just how badly he was blushing.

“I’m trying.”

Chuckling, Arthur felt his anxieties start to ebb away, “you really want to do this? With a mess like me? If this thing goes south, well…”

“I’d be handling this ‘mess’ in one way or another, regardless.”

“Very romantic, Theo. Thanks.”

The quip eases them both with the laugh it brings, and this time the quiet that stretched out was comfortable.

“We’ll need to talk about this more, in the morning, but for now,” Theo slipped his arm around Arthur’s waist, relaxing, “don’t work yourself up. We’re fine.”

“That obvious, huh?”

“You’re not the only one good at reading others, you know.”

Arthur merely hummed in response, letting that comfortable silence come back.

It felt odd, to say the least, to even consider getting into a serious relationship. Years of waving off most chances at happiness caused an almost knee-jerk reaction to do the same here; to chase Theo off with showcasing the worst of him. But Theo had already seen all of that.

There was still the chance of this not working out, or working out in the way they planned, but Arthur finally let himself rest against Theo, choosing to ignore those obnoxious worries at least for tonight.

------

I've discovered a friend can innocently send me a song saying it makes them think of a shared favored ship, only for me to dumbly open a word doc to scramble in a fic inspired by it.

I've wanted to write a longer Theocona fic for a while now, I didn't think it'd be like this, especially given how it's. Rusty. But if you read through it all: Thank you!

While I love these fools, I'm not too sure when the next time I'll write another fic for them. Theo's really hard to write, and I have so many older wips I need to finish... Maybe sooner than later I'll have another, but an established relationship themed one...

Thank you again for reading!

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#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp theo #ikevamp arthur #ikemen vampire arthur #ikemen vampire theo #theocona #smut #they really are just idiots but I love them

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blackvelvetwriteson · 4 years ago

Text

𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋

( ~ Villain Kirishima Eijirou x Kidnapped Hero-Turned-Villain Gender Neutral Reader Insert ~ )

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━━━━━━

GENRE: Smut and Fluffy Fluff!

FANDOM: Boku No Hero Academia (My Hero Academia)

TRIGGER WARNINGS: SMUT! This time it’s pretty intense. God complex, drugs usage/mention, abuse, biting/marking, dubcon, cumflation, dacryphilia, somnophilia, degradation, blood play. There’s also some angst if you look hard enough.

SUMMARY: REQUESTED!! Requested by: @itzmekuka “𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰 𝘢 𝘒𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘢 𝘟 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘝𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘬𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘯𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘗𝘳𝘰-𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘰 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘺 ( 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 ✨👄🍆💦) 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 _ 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘥𝘵 ~𝘶𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘢”

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Ah! This was actually so fun for me to write and I’m absolutely SO sorry if this is so intense. I read it over and over and over and it even bordered a little intense for me as an author. If this made you uncomfortable, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know and I’ll write a different version that’s not so intense! I’m also VERY sorry it took so long, Tumblr didn’t want to show me that you sent me a request!

WORD COUNT: 6548

| 𝘉𝘕𝘏𝘈 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 | 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘝𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘵 𝘕𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 |

(Headers are mine, but the art inside of them are not! Please don’t steal or repost without credit!)

The city around you was crumbling; the one you swore to protect as a pro hero. You were one of the better knowns sitting at the impressive spot of rank 5. That’s why everybody was relying on you, everybody that was successfully evacuated eyes were locked on the news trying to see if you’d escape safely or save their precious city. The scent of charred tree bark and burning trees filled your nose as you ran; that is what you had to do at this point. It was only you on the scene against Shigaraki who’d gone crazy, Dabi, and Toga. Dabi, in his usual fashion had his dead, icy eyes fixated on you, alternating his hands in his pockets as he torrented wave after wave of melting blue flames in front of him, off to the side, giving no time for breath, no time for anybody that could’ve been alive to escape. Some of the flames licked your body, some of your hero costume burned off, your skin burning as blood ran down the tender scalded bits. Keep running.

That’s all that was on your mind, your head spinning as you inhaled ash and the thick smoke of the area around you, stumbling as your adrenaline started to give up on you. Why were they after you? They all seemed so focused on you, all of them from the start beelining it towards you the second their feet hit the ground. Your eyes started to flutter and you found it hard to stay awake, Toga appearing from the trees with a hellish smile on her face as she fought trying to lure you back into the inferno. You lazily tried to dodge every time she swung her knife, dealing a few weak hits that at least made her a little disorientated, palming her ribcage making her cry out, but in return, she plunged one of her blades deep in your forearm, her crazed smile flitting to the flood of blood running down your arm.

“Arigato gozaimasu (Y/N)- Chan~” She giggled as you tried to fight her off. “Maybe we can become goooood good good good friends!” She licked her lips as she drooled, crushing your forearms into the ground with her feet. “You’re being the hero you WANT to be, to me,” she said as she admired the capsule full of blood. You tried moving your head to stay awake, the soot coating your lungs not helping. Your body started to feel tingly and you couldn’t help but to try to fight even after Toga had hopped off into hiding. “She’s all yours~” Is all you heard; it was Toga for sure, but you didn’t know who she was talking to. Your vision was hazy now, your body feeling heavy like you were chained to the floor. You saw a familiar… Almost… Figure towering over you with hungry bright red eyes, his tongue running over his sharp pearly white teeth. From where you were right now, it was an intimidating sight, you tried to squirm and get away, turning on your stomach, crawling helplessly, shivers running up your spine as you heard the sadistic chortle that was brewing in the anonymous figure’s chest.

“Where are you going, (Y/N)?! You know you can’t escape me,” he snorted as he walked towards you. Your body froze at the familiar voice that carried so much bass you were rattled to your core. “Ooh, you remember now, huh?!” He chuckled as he grabbed the back of your head and he pushed your face into the ground, standing over you as he stared at you with a ravenous expression. “All of this is for YOU, (Y/N),” he growled as he ran his fingers through your hair, yanking your head back, tears filling your eyes as you yelped out and looked at your destroyed city. “What kinda hero are you, (Y/N)? They’re supposed to depend on you but you ran… Just like that day…. You ran away from me,” he hummed in a sot of annoyed remembrance. “I NEEDED YOU, AND YOU RAN,” he yelled as he yanked your head back, turning you onto your back again so that you could look up at him looming over you. “Now I have this ugly ass scar… Right over my nose… And down my arm… Do you see it? Hm? Maybe we should get some more LIGHT in here so we CAN see it, right?” His eyes were crazed, you didn’t know him anymore- hell, you thought he’d died! At least you could sort of live with that- kind of. You shook your head, unable to speak, your tongue heavy. “HEY DABI,” he called out with a soft laugh. “GET OVER HERE, WE NEED SOME LIGHT!” He waited a moment hearing no response, slow footsteps approaching before suddenly stopping, a sudden wave of heat blanketing your body as you flinched, some of the stray embers singeing your hair. You winced as he held you down, able to see his scars that he was talking about. You were going to attempt speaking, but you couldn’t, his hand wrapped around your neck, palming your airway only allowing you to let out choked cries. “See it now, (Y/N)?… I know you do… And even after all of that- how you fucking left me and then told everybody I died; that’s cold, (Y/N)… But I still can’t help but to love you, yknow… Even though you let me get kidnapped…. Beat up… And then told everyone I died but I mean come on baby,” he laughed darkly as he looked over at Dabi. “That was probably the best thing you coulda did because this is the best thing that has ever happened in my life! Well… Aside from catching you again… Even if you’re choking… But I don’t want to hurt you, no! Of course not! Actually, I say we CELEBRATE, right? A momentous occasion where I was risen from the dead! And now YOU’RE gonna have your dance with the Devil… Whether you like it or fucking not,” he smirked down at you. “So resilient… I’m surprised you’re still awake! Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you too bad… I LOVE YOU after all… After everything, after all is said and done. I haven’t lost my chivalry, I’m just the most chivalrous VILLAIN instead of a hero because I realized how fucking fake all of you are… Only getting faker the higher up in rank you climb and for what? All you ever did was run so how the FUCK are you at number five? I don’t know… Maybe the same reason that All Might was number one for a decade or two by lying,” he sneered as he giggled and he picked you up, letting your feet dangle in the air. This was it, you thought, the moment you were going to die. “You never were the model hero… And I still have faith in you… So… Eh.. We’ll deal with that when the moment comes… But no matter what, HERO, you’re going to love me back,” he growled as he pulled you closer, pressing a rough kiss into your lips, biting your lip so hard it’d started to bleed. You let out a strangled squeak, your body going limp and feeling warm. Somehow you felt an odd sense of comfort feeling him kiss you, feeling his teeth gnaw at your lip, feeling his tongue explore your mouth. You’d let yourself go and gave him the moan he wanted to hear so bad. “You like that baby,” he whispered against your lips with a gravelly giggle. “Yeah you do… You’re gonna get more of that where we’re going…. Don’t make too much noise now,” he laughed as he set you down and punched you HARD in the face causing you to pass out. He caught your limp body and draped you over his shoulder nodding in Dabi’s direction signaling that he got what he came for and they could go back to base.

—

To the best of your knowledge, not too much time had passed since you’d been taken and you woke up in a daze, your whole body numb and trembling. You groaned softly, swaying from side to side, chained with your arms crossed over your body, chained to your ankles, then further restrained to the floor with a brace around your arms to make sure you didn’t slump over. You were unaware of where you were and who was by you, the soft voices sounding distant until your hair was snatched back again and you opened your eyes fully. “Wake up, Pebble,” you heard his gravelly voice in your ear as you came to, the harsh slaps to your cheeks not necessarily helping your cause. You allowed your eyes to focus on the man in front of you. You didn’t know if it was just you or whatever drugs they’d pumped you full of in your time in the dank room, but he looked almost angelic as he loomed over you. You, of course, already loved him and thought he was the best thing ever when you went to school together, but now… So many years later… His black/brown roots of his hair were starting to show, gradienting into the iconic red you’d grown accustomed to. Since his hair had spent so long getting tamed, his mane was full with fluffy spikes- some drooping, some not, going every which way on his head in such a way that made him look that much better- practically blanketing his broad shoulders, his sharp eyes staring condescendingly down at you. He was wearing a suit shirt that was a satiny red and was just begging to burst from his muscular body, seemingly freshly ironed black jeans to match along with black and red boots… And… Fingerless gloves. He licked over his sharp teeth as he noticed you checking him out and he let out a hollow laugh. “Like whatcha see? Hm? Am I still the manliest you’ve ever laid eyes on,” he laughed as he watched you squirm, his hand only twisting in your hair causing you to cry out. “Well?! ANSWER ME,” he growled out before planting a harsh slap across your face causing you to jolt against your restraints. Tears immediately pricked your eyes as you looked up at him.

“K-Kirishima,” you whispered out weakly, your throat parched from before, a cold sweat having broken out on your body. “H-How long have I been here…” Your eyes frighted rolling back into your head, the drugs having gotten to you a little more causing you to wince. Honestly, you felt like you were going to throw up, but you couldn’t help but to keep your eyes on him.

“You still didn’t answer my question,” he hummed as he stood up and paced the dimly lit room in front of you. “What a shame… Oh well, I mean it’s more fun for me- that I get to have… With you… My adorable little slave…” He looked over at you with a side eye and he smirked a little, huffing a small laugh through his nostrils before swaying his head to get his bangs out of his face. “You’re a fool to challenge a god,” he said lowly. “Especially one as… Well.. The best one. Myself…”

A god? Who the hell was talking to you right now? This definitely wasn’t Kirishima Eijiro… Not the one you met all of those years ago at UA… Not the one you were training to become a hero with. Who the fuck was this? You ignored that one pang that struck you that told you it was kind of hot that he thought of himself that way. You shook your head and hissed softly at the surge of pain that shot through your body. “I’m not your s-sla-“ mid sentence, you were interrupted with a slap that made you cry out again, your body broken, bruised, bloody, and sore… Your lungs were sore, everything was sore. You could barely even stay awake. He kneeled in front of you and tilted your chin tenderly so that he could admire the tears rolling down your face but also the nice bruises he left you.

“You are EXACTLY what I say you are… You’re the stupid pitiful hero that let yourself get caught by a dangerous man like myself, baby,” he said softly, practically straddling your lap as he fed you another gently, loving kiss. He didn’t bite your lip, he didn’t even pull away quickly. He pushed a soft hum into your lips as he trembled and allowed his hand to go to the wall next to your head. “You liked that… Didn’t you,” he murmured against your lips drunkenly, his eyes halfway open gazing into yours, and suddenly a pang of lust and… Adoration surged your body. You didn’t even know that you nodded until you saw his reaction. “Yeaaahh… I know you did… They all usually do,” he teased, just to get a rise out of you. And it worked. He popped his knuckles as he stood up and he popped his neck too, spinning on his heel as he picked up a small remote. “Let’s play the quiet game baby,” he said as he pressed on the remote, your legs trembling as you tried to grasp what happened. It was a vibrator lodged deep inside of you, of course, and your legs had started trying to give out. You also heard metal clinking together as Kirishima removed his belt, a big metal red R in the middle of it. “Here’s what’s gonna happen,” he smirked at you as he undid your restraints to the floor and he led you over to a chair, pushing you to fall into it. You were bent over the seat and he just admired the sight, you could hear the heavy breathing behind you accompanied by the small growls as you tried to stay awake long enough to know what was going on.

“You… Are gonna be bent over…. L-Like that,” he said with the occasional shaky breath, his own bulge forming and pressing against his jeans just seeing you bent over the chair so helplessly, your uneven breathing escaping into the air around the two of you. “And I’m gonna control this toy however I damn well please,” he said as he upped the level on the vibrator. “I put it in when you were sleeping! I figured you wouldn’t mind,” he said as he walked around so that you could see him, his bulge and all. “And… While I’m controlling this, you’re not gonna say anything, make a single noise, or even so much as breathe the wrong way or…” He showed off his sleek leather belt with a soft laugh. “You see this beautiful ‘R’ right in the middle here? It’s gonna brand that sweet ass of yours… And I’ll take pictures and videos and show EVERYBODY just who you belong to… Little hero slut,” he spat as he tugged your hair back to make you look up at him again. “Do you understand me,” he growled as he slapped your ass with his hardened hand. You whimpered softly and watched as his arrogant stare became smug as he stood up and he rolled up his sleeves to reveal his muscular, veiny forearms. You couldn’t help but to shake your ass in anticipation. He let out a low groan and he bit his lip as he watched you squirm and shake for him. At this point, he figured it was just the drugs that were pumped into you kicking in again, but to you it was much more than that. You liked him even when y’all went to school together, and that only intensified once you both became pro heroes. Then he fell off of the face of the earth and it was told that he died in action. This was your first day back in work since then and this is what happened? He was alive? And.. He had you in his grasp. You were scared to lose him again, and you wanted him to know how much he meant to you… But the drugs also made your body feel heavy and it made your mind hazy how just his words had an effect on you. You caught the glint of that pretty metallic red ‘R’ on his belt and you couldn’t help but to drool over him. He noticed how your eyes were fixated on his bulge and he smirked a little with a soft grunt, his fingers tactfully unzipping his pants as he tilted his head and licked over his sharp teeth again.

“Oh I forgot how much of a needy slut you were,” he whispered softly as he let out another soft laugh. “You want to suck my cock don’t you? Yeah I know you do,” he said softly, slowly pulling his cock from his jeans, stroking it as he used his other hand to force your head back. “Open up,” he growled, slapping you before forcing himself inside of your mouth. Instantly, you teared up both from the hard hit he dealt but also from how quickly he filled your mouth and all of those sweet groans he was letting out for you. You whined as you felt him slowly thrusting his hips into your mouth, forcing himself down your throat more and more. “Oh fuck,” he gasped out quietly, starting to move the chair a little as he pushed your head into him harder and faster, slowly starting to find his rhythm. “Y-Yeah,” he whispered softly as he upped the level of the vibrator making your legs give out right under you. “I know it’s big, but you don’t have to show it all on your face,” he slurred out as he twisted his hand in your hair again making you whimper and whine as you choked on his cock, your face drenched with soot and your tears as you let him use your throat as his fleshlight. “Deeper,” he moaned out as his back arched. “Take me deeper!” He smacked your ass with his belt and he moaned at the sounds, the sound of the leather hitting your skin, that big red R in the middle smacking against your ass bruising it, that choked moan you let out as he sucked in a sharp breath. “Choke on it, choke… Ch-Choke… On… It,” he whimpered out as tears pricked his own eyes. “F-FUCK! Who would’ve thought you were so good at s-sucking d-dick,” he moaned out as he lolled his head to one side, staring down at you with a soft smile; a ray of sweet light breaking through that rough exterior of his that came with being a villain. He gently caressed your face, his thumb swiping your warm tears before he forced himself further into your throat, watching the bulge form and then disappear again. “Suck it harder! S-Suck it l-like it’s your fucking god, (Y/N),” he growled as he forced you as deep as he could go, holding you down on his cock, feeling you choke on it, taking in all of your gags, watching as you drooled, feeling as you squirmed and tried to suck up all of the saliva you could.

“Oh hell yeah,” he whimpered out as he shuddered. “Oh fuck fuck fuck,” he whined as he smacked your ass with the belt again. You felt like you were about to pass out and your eyes rolled back into your head before you whined softly as he pulled his cock out of your mouth. “Do you like the taste of your god’s precum,” he growled as he stroked himself slowly. “I know you do,” he whined as he forced himself into your mouth again, and you looked up at him with soft whimpers of protest. “I KNOW YOU DO,” he whimpered as he smacked your ass with that belt again, watching the R brand itself into your skin. He felt you tighten up and he pulled your head back into him, bottoming out inside of your mouth again as his eyes crossed. “F-Fuuucckk,” he whimpered out quietly as he threw his head back. “I-I’M YOUR F-FUCKING GOD,” he moaned out as he tried not to cum so quick. “S-Suck it l-like- O-Oh fuck,” he groaned out as he caressed the back of your head before filling your mouth and throat with his cum. He curled his fingers into your hair and pushed you down on him more, his eyes rolling back into his head as his hips jolted and he orgasmed, his whole body tense as he panted, trying to catch his breath. “D-Don’t… L-Let a s-single… F-Fucking… Drop… Out,” he said shakily, slowly pulling out of your mouth, your gaze locked on him and how perfect he looked in this state of ecstasy. You watched the cum and saliva that was left on his cock drip to the ground as he reeled and brought himself back, looking down at you smirking at your dazed fucked out expression. “Oh baby,” he whispered softly as he kneeled in front of you, tilting your chin up a little. “You… Cute little thing,” he said with a small, sweet smile- even softer than the one he gave you before. You looked up at him and made soft chittering noises as you accepted the soft act and you tried to reach out to him but couldn’t.

“I wanna see it in your mouth,” he said softly as he squished your cheeks and watched some of the cum drip down your face. “Open wide… Show me how you take the cum of a fucking god,” he whispered harshly as you opened your mouth for him and stuck your tongue out. He grunted and closed his eyes as he tried to keep himself from getting too turned on again and he let out a shaky breath. “You really are a needy hero whore,” he said with a smirk, running his fingers through your hair, smiling at all of the cum dripping down your face. “You dirty… Filthy hero slut…” He stood up and snapped his belt with a soft growl and he hummed softly. “Fuck… This feels so good… I know what you want,” he said as he strolled behind you. “Tell me how bad you fucking want it,” he said as he slapped the belt across your ass again with a condescending laugh watching you spasm on the chair, unable to move. “Ah… You and those useless legs.. Can’t even hold you up- now you’ll have bruised knees. What a shame,” he teased as he struck you again.

“P-PLEASE,” you cried as you sniffed back tears, trying to arch your back just squirming against the chair. “I-I w-wanna f-feel you I-inside,” you whimper out as you let your head hang. “P-Please! F-Fuck me p-please,” you whined as your eyes burned with tears. “I want to feel y-you d-deep inside… Please!” You wanted to look back at him but your body wouldn’t let you. You heard him shuffle behind you, hoping that you’d be able to feel him inside of you, but you felt his large, warm hand caressing your inner thighs instead and you fell weaker as your breath stopped.

“Aw… What nice begging you did… But it looks like someone came without asking,” he growled as he stood up again, giving you a half second to breathe before he dealt another harsh slap, ‘R’s bruised into your skin. He gave a breathy groan and he stretched his arms out as he looked down at your bruised skin. “Looks like you’re getting punished… It wouldn’t be manly of me otherwise,” he said with a soft sigh, adjusting his shirt before dealing you slap after slap, blow after blow, soft groans and giggles of content punctuating each and every single one. “Oh yeah,” he whispered softly as he smirked. “Tell me how much you love it when I spank that sexy ass of yours,” he commanded as he shuddered. At this point, you were too out of it to speak, not being able to muster up more than soft mewls. He couldn’t help but to smirk as he suddenly shoved his cock inside of you, your eyes widening as you felt your insides conform to his shape.

“K-KIRI-“ you were cut off by your own pants and moans before feeing his fingers in your mouth. He bottomed out inside of you, already, and of course, there was a little bit of blood because of how sudden it was. He watched on with soft growls, slipping a hardened hand under the shirt to your hero costume that was already ripped. A small tug made quick work of the shirt, your back completely exposed to him. He let out soft whines as you constricted around him, subtly grinding your hips after you got over the pain of him suddenly rutting inside of you. You sucked on his fingers with soft mewls, drooling more, practically dumb from every single ounce of attention he payed you.

“Yeah,” he whispered softly as he lowered his lips against the skin of your lower back, taking in your scent, his eyes closing as he bit his lip, placing soft kisses on your lower back. Your eyes crossed as you tried arching your back into him. “Suck my fingers just like that,” he whispered, smiling as he watched the goosebumps run like waves over your skin. He continued to feed you soft kisses against your back, taking his time as he travelled up, his hands wandering over your body slowly, his hold commanding but still soft. If he wanted you to move, you did, and honestly you were fine with it. “Stop moving,” he commanded as he closed his eye, licking over the spots he kissed too. His warm tongue made you slick with precum, loving how warm he made you feel. You couldn’t do anything but moan around his fingers as he forced you to cockwarm him. He made sure to take extra care of you, gently working his way up your body as his hands followed and massaged every inch of you resting at your waist as he made it to your neck. It sounded like he was having trouble breathing, giving you short deep thrusts as he kissed at your neck. “O-Oh fuck you’re so tight,” he slurred out drunkenly as he closed his eyes. “F-Fuck fuck fuck…” He licked along your neck, grazing your skin with his teeth, still teasing you as the drugs made you almost pass out as well as how your insides conformed to the shape of his cock. “Just like that,” he whispered against your skin as he nibbled the sides of your neck. “Tell me how bad you want me to fuck you,” he commanded again, slapping your ass hard with his hand this time. It made you jolt and you let out a choked moan, sucking harder on his fingers with tears still running down your face. “Only good slaves get what they ask for,” he growled and you still felt the vibrator pulsating inside of you making you light headed. You drooled around his fingers as you gave him soft mewls and he only laughed at how fucked out you were already.

“Too much already? I haven’t even done anything to you yet,” he slurred out in your ear with a delighted grin. It felt like he was pulling out to give you some time to breathe, but he instantly snapped his hips back up into you with a loud moan, his teeth digging into the nape of your neck as you yelped out weakly. The hurt was accompanied by intense pleasure that made you quiver all the way down to your core, the condescending laughs and growls that followed making you light headed almost seeing stars. “Take it,” he moaned out as he kissed the bite in the nape of your neck which was now covered in beads of blood.

“K-Kiri-“ you choked out as you crossed your eyes. “P-Please! ’S t-too much,” you whine as you tremble and convulse on the chair under him, happily smushed into his body. “P-Please! S-Stop,” you whimpered out weakly, but he was still pounding deep inside of you, one of his large hands palming your neck from behind, his fingers crushing your trachea so you only let out choked cries and whimpers, your legs practically numb.

“Sorry! Dirty little h-hero sluts d-don’t get to say no!” He used his free hand to dig into your skin making you bleed more. “The h-harder I choke you, the more you t-tighten around me! W-What if the public knew what a whore for villain cock you were, hm? And you’re s-supposed to be a hero,” he scoffed as his bruising grip tightened around your neck, making your tongue loll out of your mouth as your eyes crossed and you struggled to stay awake. With each thrust he seemed like he was getting rougher, you were unable to move, you couldn’t even moan anymore, you were left with your labored breathing unable to fight it anymore, not being able to stick through his death grip he had on your neck. It seemed like one harsh movement of his thumb would break your neck, but you had no more resolve to fight it. “F-Fuck yeah! Ah fuck my cock,” he groaned out as he let your neck go feeling you fall limp under him. He let you stay passed out as he abused your hole how he wanted to, his smirk only growing as his tongue pushed out of his mouth, drooling as he drove himself crazy using you how he wished. “F-Fuck! Fuck I’m gonna c-cum s-so fucking hard,” he growled, digging his fingers into the bruised, tender bite mark, your blood smearing over his hand. He couldn’t help but to lick his hand clean, his gaze locked on your limp body as he thrashed you about, but he wanted you to be awake when he filled you up.

He gave you a harsh, wet slap and pulled your hair back, smirking at all of the bruises on your body that was for him. “R-RISE AND SHINE,” he growled as he slapped your ass harshly as he threw his head back and let out a loud laugh, crushing his chuckles with a growl as he forced your head to one side, licking up your neck until he made it to your ear, his stern tone making you wake up a little more. “I said wake. Up. Slut,” he whispered as he bit his lip. “I won’t ask nicely next time,” he growled as he pulled you down on his cock more. “F-FUCK,” He groaned out as he ducked his arm under one of yours, his arm pressing against your chest, easily pulling you up so that your back was rested against his toned chest, forcing you to bounce on him, forcing you to take him balls deep inside. “Oh this f-feels s-so m-much b-better,” he moaned in your ear with a soft growl, his nails digging into your skin marking you, watching the beads of blood roll down your body as he continued to rail into you, his own moans breathless. You were halfway awake as you clenched around him and let your arms fall helplessly still unable to move on your own. He whispered in your ear right before he came inside of you.

“O-Oh f-fuck,” he gasped as he kissed the side of your neck gently before growling into your ear. “Y-Yeah you like that huh? Hm?” He slapped your ass hard, his nails digging into your tender thigh. His hand forced your legs open as he nipped at you, scratched at you, growled into you, his face red, his body coated in sweat. “Yeah you do,” he whispered softly. “Y-You l-like it when a-a m-man takes control, huh? Hm? Yeah you do,” he growled as he forced your face into a nearby wall, grinding hard into him as his legs seemingly took up a mind of their own. “That’s WHY I b-became a villain baby,” he said with a smirk as he kissed up and down your neck, smiling as he admired your tears on your blood and sweat drenched body. “You like it when someone ca-can fucking take control of you like this! Fuck you like a dumb slut against the wall!” He growled as he kissed up the back of your neck. “You’re so fucking dumb right now baby,” he whispered with a soft giggle. “D-Drooling over villain cock… The cock of a fucking king!” He pushed your hips against the wall with a loud groan, his fingers going deeper into your mouth, grabbing your tongue, watching your saliva run down your face. “You’re so pretty like this! MY fucking toy,” he growled as he closed his eyes, slowing down a little as he nipped your ear. “Oh fuck I’m gonna cum right inside of that tight hole of yours,” he mumbled in your ear. “But I’m gonna make you milk me… Slowly… Gently,” he said as he took a deep breath, gently brushing your hair out of the way, kissing the side of your head as he smiled a little.

“You like this,” he whispered as he dealt you slow, deep, hard thrusts that were definitely more comfortable as he blushed and let out soft sultry moans, his hands gently guiding your hips into his and then away from his. He held you against him lovingly, groaning needily as he massaged over your marks, his hands covered in your blood. “Make me cum… Make me cum baby,” he whimpered as he kissed the side of your head, down your neck, your ear, then on your neck and shoulder, punctuating every single thrust of his hips with a soft groan. “I love you,” he mumbled to you softly, his body tensing as he edged himself closer and closer to cumming. “I-I love you,” he whispered, sounding like he was about to cry. “I-I always have,” he whimpered quietly as he thrusted hard into you, nipping into your soft, supple neck. “C-Cum with me because you’re m-mine! Mine! F-Fucking mine,” he whined as he he rolled his body into yours. “I’m the only one that c-can fill you up the right way! I’m the one that can fuck you the right way! T-The only one w-with c-cock big enough to satisfy you! The only one that can take control of you t-the right way!” He growled before pulling you onto him hard, filling you with his warm, sticky cum. He dug his nails into your skin as he watched your cum mix with his after it left a bulge in your stomach. “Oh fuck yeah,” he whispered softly as he slowly came down from his high as he watched the bulge he pushed into your stomach because of his cum. He trembled feeling his cum mixed with yours running down his leg. He hugged you close, hiding his face behind your shoulder, tears from his own overstimulation soaking his face, his breathing shaky as he slowly released you from his hold. Immediately, you slumped against the wall, Kirishima’s arms being the only thing holding you up. You trembled and whimpered softly, not even able to turn your head, barely even able to open your mouth.

“I m-meant what I said,” he said after awhile, slowly dusting your upper back with soft kisses, his hands hardened only halfway, massaging your back to help ease your pain a little. “I really do love you… But after it was expressed that I died in action… I couldn’t come back out… Hero work- well I wasn’t cut out for it,” he said as he pulled his pants back on, adjusting himself except having his messy hair. “This… This was the thing that made the most sense… This was the only way to get back to you,” he said sweetly as he took a deep breath and he bit his lip, picking you up with a soft grunt. “Cmere baby,” he said softly as he sat on the ground, cradling you in his lap, pulling your head against his chest. “Shh.. I know it hurts… I’m so sorry for hurting you… Calling you mean things- that wasn’t manly of me,” he said as he gently stroked your face. “I don’t actually think you’re a slut… or a whore… or… something like that. I was a little too intense,” he whispered softly as he kissed the crown of your head. “You mean everything to me. I already lost you once… I don’t want to lose you ever again…” He tilted your head up gently and he caught your gaze. He smiled and kissed the tip of your nose and he shook his head slowly. “… Please be mine,” he said softly. “I-I don’t care about social status or labels or anything! I don’t care if I’m a fucking villain and you’re a hero… And I wouldn’t care vice versa… I-I just…” He teared up and he looked away, biting his lip as he tried not to get too emotional. You reached up gently and weakly, your arm trembling as your fingers met his hot skin and you slowly stroked his face.

“Hey,” you whimpered hoarsely. “I’m all d-drugged up or whatever… But please believe me when I say that… I love you too… I always do… I mean have… Ugh,” you lolled your head back only to have Kirishima’s hand gently lift your head up gently and rest it against your chest again. “S-Since high school,” you squeaked before hiding into him taking in his scent. “I love you, Kirishima,” you whispered softly as you shook your head.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered as he stood up again, whimpering softly at how sensitive he was from how fast and hard he was moving. “Oh fuck,” he whispered softly, covering you up. “Let me run a nice bath for you… You can wear some of my clothes afterwards… I think Mr. Compress actually made some food, so you’ll eat good… But… Please,” he practically begged, his hand cupping your face as his glistening keen eyes stared into your sleepy ones. “Please don’t leave me again,” he whimpered as he hugged into you, kissing your shoulder gently.

“I won’t,” you smiled weakly at him, trying not to fall asleep again. “I don’t want to,” you reassured, running your fingers through his smooth, messy, fiery red hair. “I’m yours… I’m all yours… I l-love you Kirishima Eijiro,” you whispered before laying limp in his arms, the drugs catching up with you as you fell asleep.

He looked down at you with the most protective stare and he smiled sweetly at you, standing in the middle of the corridor to stare at you. His smile was lazy and sleepy as he stared at you. “I’m so happy that you’re finally mine… Finally… I’ll take such good care of you… It’s the manliest thing for me to do,” he whispered softly, gently kissing your forehead with a soft wispy giggle.

#Requested writes #kirishima #kirishima eijirou #kirishima x you #villain kirishima #villain au #villain!Kirishima #Kirishima smut #black velvet x bnha #black velvet x community #kirishima imagine #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima bnha #mha kirishima #bnha imagines #bnha headcanons #long fic

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lathalea · 4 years ago

Text

Remember

This is the story I wrote for the @gatheringfiki challenge - Durin’s Day 2020.

It’s my gift for the wonderful @mewpet because we both love cute brotherly fluff :)

There is an amazing piece of art that goes with this fic, created by mewpet, check it out here!!!

Relationships: Fili and Kili (brotherly affection, no warnings, rating G) Read it on AO3 here.

* * * * *

Remember, Brother, that time when you said ‘hi’ to me for the first time? You were so restless back then. I was but a pebble myself, but I remember that evening as if it happened yesterday.

Mother is sitting by the fireplace, surrounded by heaps of pillows, and I press my ear against her protruding belly. It is one of our quiet, cozy evenings. Father and Uncle are away on some grown-up business again, so there are just the two of us at home, enjoying each other’s company.

“Mother! He kicked me!” I protest when something rapidly pushes against my cheek, making me move away.

“He?” Mother chuckles, placing her hand on her belly. “And what if it is your sister?”

“It isn’t! A girl would punch me!” I decide, recalling how that annoying copper-haired girl, Geira, treated me just a day before. My jaw still feels a bit tender. Perhaps I shouldn’t have taken her toy axe after all…

“Very well, then. A brother,” Mother smiles. “Your brother is simply saying ‘Hi!’,” she explains, her steel blue eyes brimming with warmth.

“Why can’t he come out already? I’m bored!” I complain.

“He will, my little mountain lion, be patient,” she ruffles my hair in an affectionate gesture. She smells of flowers and freshly baked bread. “It won’t be long now, I promise.”

“But I want to meet him now!” I huff loudly and stomp my foot. Mother chuckles again and I feel a bit silly, not quite sure why, though. Gently, I place my little hands on Mother’s belly, ripe as a watermelon ready to burst, and whisper our first shared secret to you, “Hello, Brother, come quickly to me so we can play together and help Mother when Father and Uncle are away! And… If you come soon, I will show you my collection of stones!”

Triumphantly, I grin at Mother who tenderly smiles back at me and places a warm kiss on my forehead. My beautiful stones of all shapes and sizes, how proud I am of them. “That should convince him!” I think.

And it does. You arrive in the world screaming and wailing less than two weeks later. There are plenty of women in our house, but Father still hasn’t returned. I sit at the window, the only place at home where I don’t disturb the grownups. I take a sip of the warm milk Auntie Bestla gave me before she returned to our Parents' bedchamber. Mother is loud and from time to time I can hear her shouting very, very bad words that I’m not allowed to listen to nor repeat. Auntie Bestla says that it is normal and that Mother is doing well. I stare into the darkness, the evening wind blowing through the trees.

Only then do I hear the hoofbeats outside and see Uncle Thorin’s familiar figure. He dismounts his pony. And Father is there too! Finally! I can clearly see Uncle taking both ponies to the stable while Father turns his steps towards home. I jump up and dowm in excitement and rush towards the entrance door. Soon, I’m enveloped in Father's embrace. He smells of woodsmoke, leather, and road dust. He winks at me and presses his forehead against mine. A warrior’s greeting! And then his blond braids intertwine with my hair. Mother often says that I should be very proud that I inherited his hair color because it brings luck. And when she does, Father usually smiles, takes Mother into his arms, and tells me that he found Mother thanks to his luck. And then she calls him “her golden warrior”, and then they kiss. Yuck!

Father sets me down, and I tell him everything that has happened since he was gone, that my brother is coming, that we have two new chickens, and that I lost a tooth. He asks me if I have been a good boy, and of course, I say I have, and then he asks if I did my duty and helped Mother while he was gone, and I nod with pride, and his dark brown eyes smile at me, and then he gives me a pouch filled with my favorite hard candy. I start munching on it right away!

When he removes his cloak, I hear your first cries (Mahal, I still remember how loud you were!) and gasp in excitement. Father rushes to the bedroom door and gives it a small knock. We, men, are to wait outside until the midwife invites us in, he says. This is the Dwarven Tradition, he says. Stupid tradition, I think. I want to see my brother now! I’m so angry, I say out loud one of the very, very bad words Mother shouted before. Father’s brow furrows and he’s about to scold me when the bedroom door cracks open and Auntie Saga is there, beaming, her lush chestnut beard braided in two beautifully plaited sidebraids.

“Fili, my boy, come to say hello to your… Vili, you’re back!” she opens the door and ushers us in. Mother looks very tired, but very happy at the same time.

“Dis, my dove,” Father kisses her forehead and they murmur grownup things to each other while I curiously look at the bundle in Mother’s arms.

“Do you want to see your little brother, Fili?” she asks.

I’m so eager to meet you that I nod enthusiastically.

Soon, I’m on the bed, together with Mother and Father, both happy and confused at the same time. Is this tiny bundle really my brother? Your impossibly big blue eyes are open wide (I wonder if they will stay like this or will they change color at some point?) and there are a few unruly tufts of dark hair on top of your head. You blink, and I instantly know you just have said ‘hi’ to your big brother. To me.

“Hello, Kili,” I touch your tiny hand with mine and your fingers immediately wrap around my index finger. Our eyes meet and at that moment I already know that we are going to have so much fun together!

Many, many new things. Darkness. Flickering light. My heart beats fast. So fast. It’s happened. I’m here. Softness. Textures. Breathe in. Breathe out. Everything seems so blurry, but I’m so curious! And there is that smell. The smell of flowers and freshly baked bread. Mother. She’s so warm. So cozy. So safe. Touch. I like touch. More sounds surround me. Mother is humming a lullaby. Father is there, too, he’s so happy, he even sheds a tear! He speaks something, but then I notice you, peering at me, your bright blue eyes sparkling with joy. You look much too serious for your age and I decide I’ll have to do something about it, and keep doing it often.

***

Remember, Brother, that time when Father hadn’t returned home? Remember, what I promised you on that day? You were still a babe…

The autumn rain is pattering on the window panes when Uncle Thorin enters our home. He should have returned over a month ago, together with Father. Mother runs to the door. Uncle is soaking wet, and he is still wearing his armor. It’s dented. And then I notice a large, dark stain on his trousers. Why is he limping? Why is his face so pale, so strange?

“Uncle! You came back! Do you know that Kili tried to eat Mother’s sketchbook? And the neighbor’s goat got lost and I helped find it! And Mother baked a berry pie! And... Where is Father?” I cling to his wet clothes and feel his large hand on my head. He smells of wet horse, tobacco and… something weird I can’t quite place.

“You have grown, Fili,” he speaks, but there is no joy in his voice. He sounds so hollow and I don’t understand why.

Mother’s eyes rest knowingly on Uncle. They widen. He shakes his head slightly and looks down. Her lips tremble. A sob escapes her mouth.

“Mahal…” she whispers, covering her mouth with her hand.

“He is in the Halls of Waiting now. He said that he would await the day when he met you there,” Uncle speaks, embracing her.

I don’t understand why Mother is sobbing, whispering Father’s name. I don’t know why Uncle tells her all those strange things.

But then they tell me.

Wiping my tears away, I’m standing over your cradle. You reach out your hand to mine, flashing a wide, toothless smile, your eyes already as dark as Father’s.

I recall his last words to me when we said our farewells, “Keep an eye on your little brother. Protect him from harm, my son.”

“Don’t worry, Kili. I will protect you,” I explain and your smile widens even more. I want to keep you smiling so innocently for as long as I can.

I remember only a few vague sensations from that day, detached from each other, withering away as a bonfire smoke on a wind. A very old tune played by a musical box. A low murmur. A gasp. Some steps. Mother sobbing. And then your forehead touching mine. And your whisper.

“We’ll go through this together. We’re warriors. Just like Father.”

I don’t understand much at that point, but your words sound very solemn. I want to show you that I’m there for you and you shouldn’t fret, so I do the best I can at that moment and press my tiny hand against your nose (Mahal, you’ve always had a nose like a potato!). You frown, so I realize that it doesn’t work. Time for Plan B. I grab one of your temple braids and shove its tip into my mouth, munching on it.

“You’re disgusting!” you take your braid away from me and scowl at the mess I made. You’re always so touchy about your hair.

And then I burp and start giggling. Of course, you can’t help yourself and a chuckle escapes you.

Mission accomplished.

***

Remember, Brother, that time when we climbed that apple tree in Old Cotter’s orchard? Oh, what fun we had!

The gnarly branches are not easy to climb on, but we will make it. It’s a dare, after all, Gimli’s idea, in fact. And I already know one thing for certain: the Dwarves of the line of Durin never step back from a challenge! That’s what Uncle Thorin says… although deep inside I’m not sure if he would approve of this particular dare. Old Cotter is a grumpy Man, not overly fond of Dwarves. But surely, he won’t even notice if a few of his apples are gone. Or a bushel.

“Fili, give me a leg up!” you complain, your arm reaching towards a thick branch above us, full of apples. Your tunic is already bursting at the seams with the ones we’ve already gathered.

“You almost got it! Stretch a bit more, Shorty!” I reply, busy picking my own share of apples. They smell so good! My stomach growls.

“I’m not a shorty! I’m almost as tall as you!” you protest, furrowing your brows in that funny way, trying to mimic one of Uncle’s glares.

I burst out in laughter, “Only if you stand on a stool!”

You move towards me and the branch we’re sitting on sways underneath us.

“I’ve grown since last week! A lot!” you exclaim.

“No, you haven’t,” I stand by my opinion. I’m almost sure that you are quite a few inches shorter than me! At least you were lat time Mother measured us…

“Yes, I have! Mother told me yesterday! I’m catching up with you”

“No, and you’ll never outgrow me!” I declare firmly. I’m the older one after all!

“Yes, I have!” you squirm on the branch.

“No, you haven't!” I’m grabbing a branch above us, trying to stretch and show you who’s the taller one once and for all.

“But I have!” you mimic my movements and now we’re both standing on the branch, face to face.

“No, you have not!” I stomp.

“I have!” you swing.

“No---”

And then two things happen at once. The branch gives way beneath us with a loud crack and we’re hanging from the flimsy branch above, flailing our legs in the air. And the second one? A dog starts yapping. No, make it two dogs. Old Cotter keeps two large guarding dogs, you see. I’m not sure why he does that, really. It’s not like we’re coming here that often. Besides, it’s just a few little apples, right? Anyway, the point is that his dogs are always as angry as he is, or perhaps even more. And they have teeth. Huge teeth. I meet your gaze, your face seems paler and your eyes widen.

“Crap!” you say. “Old Cotter’s pups! We can outrun them, right, Fili?”

“Of course! Ready?” I give you a reassuring smile. You nod in return “Now, Kili!”

We both let go of the branch and fall to the ground with a thump, like two ripe apples.

“Ouch! I think I landed on my… apples,” you scrunch your face. I’m trying not to think how much the part of my body I landed on will hurt tomorrow.

“Get’em, my beauties!” a screeching shout comes from the other side of the orchard. That’s where Old Cotter’s house is. The barking becomes louder, more intense.

“Run, Kili!” I urge you, and off you go. In a blink of an eye, I’m on my feet as well, frantically rummaging through my bag. The barking intensifies and I see two dark shadows rushing towards me among the apple trees. I’m not escaping. I’m waiting. They are closer and closer. I’m standing my ground. I can see their eyes now. Their white teeth. They are snarling at me now. That is when I throw the contents of my bag at them and quickly take to my legs, running as fast as I have never run before.

“Are they gone, Fili? Are they still following us?” you ask, gasping, when I finally catch up with you. We’re hiding behind a fallen tree in a nearby grove.

“No, we’re good, Kili. They really liked those steaks we found in the kitchen,” I reply and the moment I see the merry sparks in your eyes, I chuckle.

“Poor Old Cotter! I wish I could have seen his face!” you burst with laughter.

“You should have seen the look in his dogs’ eyes! I bet no one has thrown a proper steak at them in their entire lives!”

“Yeah, Old Cotter probably feeds them only with apples!”

We’re rolling on the ground, laughing our heads off. The grass is so soft, the sun pleasantly warms our cheeks and the ever-present smell of apples fills the air.

All of a sudden, a large, menacing shadow looms over us.

“So this is what happened with those steaks we were supposed to have for supper,” the shadow speaks in a low, rumbly voice. A very familiar voice. Darn.

“H-hello, Uncle…” we mumble in unison, knowing that we are in deep, deep trouble.

Stupid Gimli and his dare.

I still remember that those were the best apples I’ve ever tasted. So what if they weren’t quite ripe yet? And no, this certainly wasn’t the cause for our upset stomachs afterwards! It’s not as if we were getting supper, anyway.

***

Remember, Brother, that time when we got lost in a blizzard on our way back from an unlucky hunting trip?

“We should have turned right by that triple rock,” you shout through the storm.

“We did, Kili!” I reply as the freezing cold snow finds its way into my mouth. When it melts on my tongue, it tastes like the butter buns Mother bakes every morning. We hadn’t eaten for over a day. The game has been scarce.

“No, we turned left, Fili, I’m sure!” your words are carried on the wind along with the snow.

“You’re talking nonsense! It was right, we always turn right there!” I approach you and see your narrowed eyes. The rest of your face is hidden under a hood, protected from the cold by a knitted scarf. Geira made them for us last year. Yours is dark green while mine - dark red, like my vambraces. Of course, once I got the scarf along with a new dagger, you wouldn’t stop teasing me with silly songs informing me that “Roses are red” and hinting at the activities I should perform with her (“Fili and Geira sitting in a tree…”). Younger brothers are such a menace. I’m really fond of my new dagger, though. And I’m fond of...

“Fili! I’m talking to you!” you interrupt my thoughts. “Why aren’t we at Frigg’s Pass yet?” you demand.

That’s a valid point. I take a look around, but the visibility is getting worse by the minute. There is no pass in sight, of course, and the blizzard is growing more and more intense.

“Let’s find shelter,” I decide.

“We’re lost, aren’t we? I forgot you’re just like Uncle Thorin, you clot!” you huff, clearly displeased.

“We’re not lost,” I grunt, “We just need to find someplace to wait out this bloody storm!”

I pass you by and walk ahead. I know my way in the wilderness around Ered Luin much better than Uncle… I think.

We set up camp by a rock wall that shelters us from the blizzard. The night comes. Wrapped in our furs, we wait for the dawn in silence. The storm has almost passed, there is just a flurry of snowflakes in the air. None of us feels like talking. I’m trying not to notice the cold. Instead, I’m thinking about roasted lamb with cranberries. Oh, and mashed potatoes with butter. Lots of them. And for dessert, I…

“Did you hear that, Fi?” you prod me.

“What?” I open my eyes. No, it’s not what you think, I wasn’t sleeping. Really, I wasn’t!

“That growl… There it is again!” you insist in a low whisper. At that point, I hear it too. Something shuffles through the snow in the pale predawn darkness. The noises are approaching us.

“Get your axe ready,” I signal in Iglishmêk. You do. And so do I.

We rise on our feet at the same time when the first warg attacks. Wargs! Here? But there is no time for such thoughts. This is the moment my swords were waiting for all this time. They slash through the air, finding the foe with every swing of the blades. From what I can see in the corner of my eye, you’re doing quite well with your axe too. Then, I realize that the warg pack tries to surround us, but we know how to act. Standing back to back, just like we were taught, we fight them off, one by one, slowly, but methodically. Their skinny bodies fall on the ground, their unmoving contours clearly visible in the first light of the day. The last one yelps and tries to escape, but I take out my new dagger from its sheath in one swift move and throw it at him in a blink of an eye. Almost instantly, the beast falls with a groan.

“Great aim, brother,” you grin, resting against a rock.

When I return to you after retrieving my dagger, you sit on the snow-covered ground. A puddle of blood surrounds you.

“Ki, you’re hurt!”

“It’s nothing, brother,” you smile faintly. I rush to you and find a nasty bite wound on your right thigh. Bloody wargs.

“That’s quite a big nothing, if you ask me!” not listening to your protests, I’m taking care of your wound the best I can in these conditions, but you’re still losing blood. It doesn’t look good. I need to take you home as soon as possible.

“You know what, Fi?” you speak slowly. “I think we turned right by that triple rock after all. I found the Frigg’s Pass…”

“Hmmm? Where is it?” I finish dressing your wound.

“Here… we’re in it,” you look at me as if you’ve just managed another mischief.

I look around and finally recognize the rocks around us, the trail leading down to Ered Luin, and the little frozen creek nearby. Home is just a half a day away. On foot. I steal a glance at your wound.

“Fi?”

“Hmmm?”

“I don’t fancy walking right now. I think I’ll take a nap. Go home and get some help. I’m not going anywhere,” you force a wink at me.

“You’re as stupid as a goat’s ass if you think that I’m leaving you alone here, Shorty!” I protest vehemently.

“You’re shorter than me and you know it, Potato Nose!” you point out with a slight grin.

“It’s only two inches! It doesn’t count because you’re younger!” “You know it still does!”

“No, it doesn’t!” I assert firmly. “Besides, you have less muscle on you!”

Our customary bickering is interrupted by our growling bellies.

“What would you say about a dozen fried eggs and a pound of bacon on the side?” I ask.

“Alright, alright. You convinced me. Let’s go,” you nod weakly and I pat you on your shoulder. You’re a bit paler than before. I know we have to make it before dusk.

You rest your weight on me and then we start walking. Slowly. Step by step. It seems like forever.

And then your good leg gives way. You fall on the ground.

“How about I just sit there?” you propose. I see the shadows under your eyes.

“No way, you lazy bum. We’re going. Get on my back,” I try to keep a light-hearted tone of voice, but I know you see straight through it.

“Why are you so eager to get back all of a sudden?” you attempt to joke with a small smile at the corner of your lips. ��Ah, I know! I bet you can’t wait to take Geira to the Yule dance!”

“Get on my back or I’ll carry you in my arms as I used to when you were a just pebble”, I growl. What do you know about girls, anyway? Knowing you, if you were ever to meet a maiden you liked, you would probably bore her to tears with that mawkish story about a huge fire moon we’d seen once in Dunland while escorting some merchants, together with Uncle Thorin. I’m almost falling asleep now, just thinking about it.

Finally, you grunt something about your warrior’s pride being wounded, but you do as I say for the first time in your life. A miracle. Praise Mahal!

We move ahead even slower than before, but at least I don’t feel the biting cold.

“Mother will not be thrilled when she sees us...” you speak in a slightly dazed voice. I’m plowing ahead, worried that your wound is infected and you’re getting a fever.

“Why would she?” I try not to groan under your weight. Either you’re getting heavier or I’m getting weaker. Naaah. Not me. I’m sure you’re getting heavier.

“She’s been looking forward to some venison and we… we’re coming back empty-handed,” you explain.

“What are you talking about, Ki? I have my game right here,” I poke you so that you know whom I mean. “A game leg, to be exact, but beggars can’t be choosers.”

You snort faintly in amusement.

“Just make sure you don’t faint before coming home, Shorty,” I warn him. “I don’t feel like carrying you all the way to your bed as if you were a dwarfling again.”

“No worries, Potato Nose. I’ll be fine,” you whisper. “We’ll be fine.”

Soon, we reach home.

And yes, we are fine.

I have to say that you were right bringing those stupid fancy-pants swords of yours on our hunting trip, but I’ll never admit it to anyone. And certainly not to you. A pack of stray wargs so close to Ered Luin. Who would have thought...

And then, there comes the day when we’re to accompany Uncle all the way to Erebor, to reclaim the home of our ancestors.

“A great warrior has to be always prepared for battle,” you say pompously as we are preparing for the road. I roll my eyes. You grin at me, sheathing those fancy swords on your back, and leave our house, doing that stupid springy walk of yours.

Maybe you’re not a total clot, but you’re a terrible show-off anyway.

“Are you coming, Ki?” I hear your voice from the outside.

Of course I am. I belong with you, after all, brother.

***

I place my hand on a polished piece of stone. It’s cold.

It’s the last week of November again. I feel its chill in my bones. The old wounds healed well enough, but I still feel them at this time of the year. It’s snowing today, my brother, just like it snowed over 150 years ago, when we rushed into that fateful battle, arm in arm, just to be separated forever by an Orc blade.

Remember, Brother…?

I place my hand on a polished piece of stone. It’s cold. Freezing cold.

They came at us, we were outnumbered. Uncle Thorin was already wounded. Our Uncle. The closest thing we had to a father. The King Under the Mountain. Our King. The one we swore our oath to. And so we stayed by his side, an ice-bound river beneath our feet. Stronger together. The Pale Orc gathered his troops and led a frontal attack while Bolg’s Orcs came at us from behind. The battle raged on, taking lives on both sides of the conflict. The ice under our feet was singing in terror. In warning. But we fought on. Fiercely. Desperately. Until an Orc carrying a battle scythe in his paws tore through our defenses, aiming at me. You pushed me away, but the bloodthirsty blade reached you instead.

And the snow kept falling from the sky, covering both the bloodstains and the unmoving bodies with a merciful white blanket.

I was the one supposed to protect you. Just like Father said all those years ago.

Remember, Brother…?

I place my hand on a polished piece of stone. It’s cold. Freezing cold. As cold as an ice-bound river.

The unseeing eyes of your marble likeness sculpted by the best artists of Erebor, white as snow, look into nothingness. There is no smile on your face. Instead, you look rather like a fierce, solemn warrior clad in formidable battle armor, an eternal frown on your face. You don’t resemble yourself at all. The constantly laughing Dwarf with a head full of mischief.

You became the hero of our people. The one who saved the life of their future king. Me, your older brother. You were the one who gave your own life in return.

“A life for a life… A fair trade,” you whispered through your pale lips at the very end. “Go on, marry your Geira, be happy, Potato Nose,” you said, your voice alarmingly hoarse. “You will make a great king…”

Remember, Brother…?

We named our firstborn Kili. I know that he will become a worthy King Under the Mountain one day. Soon. I’m not young anymore. Before long, I will join you in the Halls of Waiting, leaving a worthy successor behind. King Kili. His mind is sharp and he fills my heart with pride every day. He laughs just like you. Would you believe if I told you that when he was but a dwarfling, he brought some apples home, offering them proudly to me, like a spoil of war? With mischief glinting in his eyes, he let me in on a secret. Apparently, his boon came from the orchards of Dale. What’s more, he and his friends may have forgotten to ask their owners for permission. What a rascal. Luckily, there were no dogs involved, but the apples weren’t ripe at all, of course.

Remember those days, Brother…?

And a whiff of wind lost in the corridors of the Lonely Mountain whispers back.

I remember, Brother…

And I’m waiting.

* * * * *

Read it? Like it? Reblog it!

Happy Durin’s Day!

#Durin's Day 2020 #Fili #Kili #the hobbit fanfiction #the hobbit #durin's day #hobbit fanfiction #fili fanfic #fili and kili #brothers #no durincest

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eponymous-rose · 5 years ago

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E96 (February 25, 2020)

Tonight’s guests are Taliesin Jaffe and Liam O’Brien!

Announcements: The Chicago live show and C2E2 are imminent! The live show will be on Thursday night, but an hour earlier than usual, at 6 PM Pacific/8 PM Central! Liam will be at the live show, but unfortunately has to leave C2E2 early and won’t be able to make it on Sunday. On Friday, the first behind-the-scenes video for The Legend of Vox Machina animated series was posted on YouTube, introducing the writing team!

Episode 96: Family Shatters

Stats for this week’s episode! Of the 16 times Caleb has cast Teleportation Circle, the M9 have remembered to contact someone prior to their arrival 7 times. Of those 7 times, they were successful at contacting someone at the location only 3. Taliesin: “We’re playing this game like Skyrim, we’re just going through people’s houses breaking pottery.” Caduceus got the straw hat that he gave to Clarabelle in episode 31, about 188 in-game days ago. There were 17 cow-related puns. Dani: “Is that above or below average for a Critical Role episode?”

“Clay was kind of built relatively quickly. I didn’t give Matt a ton to play with. I gave him the order in which they left, I gave him Clay’s attitude and his impression of his family members, which was usually just one sentence, and some basic idea of what their power set might be if they had one. I always thought of him as, from a family perspective, of what would have happened to Percy if nothing went wrong.” He was happy to be the one to run the family business and just hang around at home and run the shrine. “I think the rest of the kids’ wanderlust probably put them at odds quite a bit.” He liked being able to play that conflict and show what Caduceus was like when he was annoyed. Cad took after his father, the girls generally wanted to leave, and Colton is “just sort of a doofus.”

Caleb was an only child, so seeing this many kids was a lot. “They clearly had their grudges and their different dynamics with each other, but that’s normal, for sure. Caleb’s very unfamiliar with it.” He also keeps looking at Nott and thinking about how everything he’s doing is about wanting to rebuild his family, whereas Nott is so conflicted about going back to hers. “He doesn’t understand it, but he doesn’t want to push it” or judge her for it. “I thought I had a really defined direction at the start of the campaign, but my seven best friends have knocked it silly.”

What’s keeping Cad with the Nein? “Caduceus is not ready to go home at all. He’s not done with his walkabout. He feels like he wants to see a bit more. He feels he has an intense debt to pay. He feels he has a mission to see everybody else through, at the very least. Or at least he’s telling himself that. So he’s saved his home, or at least he thinks he’s saved his home, and his family’s all right, so now it’s debts that must be paid. He’s not somebody who thinks you can just get off the bus.”

“Caleb was going to ask [the hag] about the ability to travel backward through time, not really believing that she could do that, but was still like, show me what you’ve got.” Even if she’d said it, he would have thought she was a liar. “Probably would’ve offered to kill the M9″ in exchange, then would’ve turned around to hit her with a surprise Disintegrate. Liam notes repeatedly that nothing could possibly have been as cool as what Laura wound up doing.

On the Nein not worrying about places Cad considered sacred ground, Caduceus “is fine with conflict. He doesn’t even really have to have conflict, he could assert himself if he were so inclined. It’s that he’s aware that there are limits to what these people can do. It’s very much the philosophy of ‘children and drunks can do no wrong’.” He’s picking his battles.

Was there a defining moment where Caleb started seeing the Nein as family? No single moment. “It’s like love by a thousand cuts.” Liam notes that he’s still not sure how Caleb would react if he suddenly had the means to carry out his plans. “He’s got the recovering-addict mentality.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Pumat! (CriticalHitical, photo by Minniemooncos on Twitter)

Taliesin notes that Caduceus is definitely feeling more connected to the group. “If anything, Caduceus is really embracing his role as the spiritual guide to the group. He feels like he really has a lot to offer from that perspective of being the roving therapist. Or at least, he thinks he’s a roving therapist.” Liam notes that Cad is the most mysterious of the group to Caleb. “He’s the most religious character I’ve ever played, too. He’s fun! He really came together very nicely.”

On Caleb being more lighthearted on occasion: “He’s been out of practice being a human being for a long time.” The Nein’s brand of ridiculousness is rubbing off on him.

Why hasn’t Cad been pranking the Nein? “They don’t treat him poorly in that way yet. Siblings, man. I have quite a few siblings, and there is an energy. It’s the same way like when you’re around your parents, you revert to a 15-year-old.” Same with siblings. “There’s just something-- just the urge to torture them is so overpowering.” The moment he got the whistle, he knew exactly what he was going to do with it. Liam was reminded of Taliesin’s real-life siblings while watching these interactions in the game.

On Caleb’s laying on compliments for the Traveler: “The thing about time travel is it’s so implausible. It’s so implausible that I could see us finishing this campaign and Caleb will still have it in the back of his head for the rest of his life. But maybe Artagan could help with that. He certainly sees the potential in Artagan, and it was a balance between wanting to support everything Jester has devoted her life to, so it just felt like everyone was ready to write it off. Life is often like this, life isn’t what you thought it would be, it is what it is. Let’s not damn this yet, let’s feel it out. And if I can use this situation to possibly eradicate ultimate evil, that’s a win.”

Cad found it tough to have family and friends in the same room and play both roles. “I don’t know how much it came across that he was trying to keep them, not necessarily separated, but ‘family, guys, guys, family, ANYWAY.’” He did want to get his family on their way as quickly as possible. Cad is the equivalent of his early 20s, so something like 85-120 years old for a firbolg.

Liam is asked about the conversation between Caleb and Yasha on watch several episodes ago. "You know what one of the best parts of that scene that played out was, is about 20 minutes or 30 minutes before that happened, I texted Ashley at the table and said, ‘Want to take watch? I have nothing planned, it could be fun.’” He wasn’t expecting it to go that far. “I think he had such an extreme reaction because he felt that he had done a good job of hiding things, and he was suddenly worried that he was transparent, that everyone had been able to read him this whole time when he’d thought that he was-- well, he’s a little in love with Jester Lavorre, and has been for a while, uselessly in love with her. The waltz was probably a little pebble. And in that moment-- this doesn’t play out verbally too much in the show, but he just was worried that this thing that he’s never going to admit to because it’s useless, she’s finding herself, and has her whole life ahead of her, and has other people around her who care about her and are a whole lot better for her than he is. And he’s aware of the way those two [Fjord and Beau] feel as well. It’s just there in the background fucking up his shit. It’s really just a problem. Big fucking problem.”

Fan art of the week: a gorgeous Clay family portrait! (by Teaweltzer on Twitter)

On Clay being absent for the renewal of his home: “I don’t think his arc’s ending off-screen. I think his arc ends when he comes home to see what’s become of it.”

Is Caleb worried about Beau since the confrontation with her father? “Of course he is. She’s ignoring all the advice that she gave him. He doesn’t like to see her that hard on herself when she’s so competent and probably the backbone of the group. It’s the most judgey Caleb’s been of anybody, really, but he’s very aware of the pain of family and personal stuff. She knows her, and even though he broke his shit in half, he could still see the dynamic in the room when we visited his family, so he feels for her. We need you and we love you and we will miss you, you don’t fucking get to go.”

Each of the temples has a secondary god; what was the Blooming Grove’s other god? “The Blooming Grove is for the Archeart because it is a gift of beauty. It’s the Allhammer, the Changebringer, and the Archeart. It’s kind of a powerplay from the Wildmother, in my opinion. They’re all three based off of very specific types of funereal practices that are common throughout the world.”

Caleb saw giving over the transformation spell to Essek as a returning of one of his many favors. “Caleb likes Essek a lot. They’re like two highly gifted kids at school together. And, you know, he’s quirkily charming and handsome. There’s just no reason not to, in his mind. Outside of the M9, he’s probably the only person that Caleb would see as a friend that he’s made. Everyone else is just sort of scenery around the M9.”

What’s next for Cad? “It’s a little bit of finding himself, or at least finishing himself would be the way to put it.” (cue snickering from off-camera) “He’s also vaguely aware of some of the things that are going to possibly emotionally damage the party on the horizon, and he wants to be ready to deal with, in vague order, whatever’s going to happen to Jester, and then whatever’s going to happen to Fjord, and then whatever’s going to happen to Nott, and Yasha, and Caleb. He doesn’t know how to deal with what Beau’s going through. It’s the one thing he has no experience of, because he has no experience with that family dynamic. When he met people with that family dynamic, it was always at the end of it.”

Some fans sent in death whistles. Brian encourages Taliesin to play one on the plane.

The hat for Calliope was a last-minute thought. The flute could also have gone for Colton, depending on “who I could sneak up on”.

Caleb took a symbol of the Archeart from the Labenda Swamp. “I think it was familiar to me. I think I might have either correctly or mistakenly thought it reminded me of the woman who helped Caleb in the Sanatorium.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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lady-plantagenet · 4 years ago

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What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 1: CamelNOT

[Lively Music Plays]

I shit you not... that’s what it said in the CCs.

Tower of London (?)

*Catherine looks at the array of crowns like a museum curator and the proceeds to strut down the halls*

Wolsey: *gives her this strange look which is a mixture between damn girl and the eagle is my spirit animal.

Then Catherine gets fake detained and taken to Henry in what must be a strange variation of the whole Robin Hood/Maid Marian roleplay they historically engaged in.

... did she just call his erhm manhood his kingship? Well that’s original, I’ll give them that. Also funny how Bessie Blount initially looks on in fright... don’t worry girl that will be you soon.

———————————————————————

*the four ladies have a brunch friendship moment together*

I see Blount is among them... I see they are setting her up as Catherine’s friend in order to play up the whole betrayal.

Alright. Jokes aside, I realised how much I’ve played myself. I was inspired by @melusineloriginale ‘s sporks (which if all this TSP episode posts got you in the mood for PG show mockery I urge you to check out here - you’ll thank me later). In truth, Henry VIII’s early reign is a bit too late from my main area of focus for me to make intelligent jokes.

I’ll content myself with just bullet-pointing random thoughts that came into my head, and if some intelligent thought gets through, well that would be the pinnacle. In any case I’ll aim to not parrot some of the stuff that’s already been said, repetition can get annoying.

This image embodies this post, but maybe not the show. I’ve noticed those Starz productions get better by the end.

First Scenes:

- The recap just reminded me how much I will miss Margaret Beaufort in the coming episodes. I know her portrayal was innacurate but Harriet Walter just made everything better.

- They are making such a big deal out of this whole ‘we were crowned together, we rule together’ thing in this episode - it makes no sense. Catherine was an influential Queen but she was definitely no more than a consort and never saw herself as more.

- Ruairi’s new haircut is pleasing to my eyes.

- When she says ‘Abuelo’ it’s super adorable awww

The Ferdinand and Charles V scene:

- Bessie Blount looks so much like Ursula Pole lmao. Also they totally got the Pole children’s birth order wrong and UGH WHERE IS GEOFFREY POLE???

- I like Mary Tudor’s actress and her facial expressions. However, this whole polyglot image they are representing is innacurate. I am fairly certain she knew no spanish and I recall reading a contemporary account which said that she was not very learned.

- I’m pretty sure it would be considered bad luck to prematurely crown your son ‘Henry IX’ while you’re still alive.

- I actually like the whole Grape motif in this episode. It’s probably the smartest thing they’ve come up with so far for this episode. I know a lot of you will be all like ‘there’s no record of Ferdinand being abusive’ but this choice sort of makes sense when you recall Joanna’s treatment. Also I appreciate them for not being tacky and showing flashbacks of more overt abuse eg physical. The sugared grape is also fairly symbolic (the sugar is like a gilding, the grape easily crushable)

- OMG the guy from Garrow’s law is playing Thomas More!

- AND PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT SEEING THINGS? Margaret Pole x Thomas More is happening?? Please god that is a historical crackship I am getting behind. Yes. This is what I’m most invested about.

Margaret Tudor and Scotland Scene:

- The whole ironic cutaway to Margaret being all depressed after Charles Brandon’s statement about her charming Scottish king is such a cliché movie technique.

- If this were a more artsy film I would think the whole setup resembling a stereotypical middle-class family breakfast was done on purpose for humorous effects or to create a link with the past. But here I don’t have as much trust in the producers. I think they just failed to capture the time period accurately.

- The modernisms continue: ‘Negassi please stop playing’ idk, there just something so modern about this for some reason ahaha

- Also again, I’m getting tired of all this ‘Catherine is basically queen herself’, ‘Catherine is a political genius’, ‘Catherine Catherine Catherine’ ugh. I don’t think the producers understand that Henry VIII was a very autocratic and traditional ruler. He didn’t make any show of joint-rulership (correct me if I’m wrong).

- The teeth thing is funny, smart and I liked it.

Back to Westminster:

- I like Ferdinand’s actor!

- Also Catherine’s response to ‘who are you loyal to?’ was not that smart. I feel like the producers wanted us to be impressed. What if Spain and England’s interests conflict, ey??

The Joust:

- I care too much for the whole Margaret Pole plotline. I’m so invested.

- I could watch a series of More and Pole just exchanging lines. I love the actors too and this is my hope for this series. The whole frustrated parents is SO CUTE.

- I didn’t know More tutored Reggie, I would be curious to know more.

- The way compton says groom to queen’s stool is freaking hilarious. He looks like a pervert.

- Henry Pole is a darling and must be protected at all costs.

- Oh Christ oh Christ that eyeball shot was just... good job on the special effects guys. Don’t know what the point of that choice was.

- I found the whole armour mentions after interesting, it looked so set up as a PR campaign because Stafford speaking about the armour just sounded like a statement agreed on beforehand ‘should have worn the same’ and the Catherine with ‘steel in the bones’ and Ferdinand’s impressed face (it was him playing them?)

- Am I giving this show too much credit?

- Also whats up with “God save the Queen?”

War Counsel:

- Henry VIII’s actor is quite charismatic in this scene. It’s almost as if Catherine is the hothead and Henry the wise one that speaks less but more significantly. It almost feels like they gender-swapped them.

The Bedchamber:

- Did Catherine breastfeed the baby? I thought it was Anne Boleyn. Doubtful... I’m tired of the trope of ‘you’re a good woman if you insist on breastfeeding the child yourself despite social conventions’. For a feminist show, the writers seem very attached to some 1950s perceptions of motherhood.

- I feel like the age difference between Catherine and Henry is well conveyed.

Scotland Again:

- ‘All the sheep were pregnant’ 👀 oh touché Margaret. oh my. Did she just?

- I know they are playing out this disenfranchised Margaret arc to reinforce how great Catherine and Henry are (cheap technique) and to build up to her involvement in Flodden (innacurate historically but I know what the show will do). But I will say this: the humour is pretty good in the Scottish scenes! But I know it’s unintentionally so... (I highly doubt they wanted us to laugh at Margaret hitting James or calling Alexander a pig).

Westminster and the baby chamber:

- What’s are those red splotches on the babies face??

- Oh that shot of Margaret and silent Reginald :((( it makes me sad.

- And now the Poles are at church! I just love the look of them.

- That scene of Maggie and Catherine was needed, as we didn’t get the best friends vibe much in this episode. The whole thing looked a bit pagan though, but it was nice :)

The whole Ferdinand’s betrayal segment:

- The grape motif again was fitting, him snapping the fruit right before she gets to it even despite her knowing what he’s like and what he’ll do, was a good parrallel.

- I’m tired of hearing of this ‘Camelot’. Even in the novel, Camelot was Catherine and Arthur’s dream and... can we just live it up with Arthur?

- Ursula Pole’s, Bessie Blount’s and Mary Boleyn’s actresses look way too similar.

- I fail to see why Catherine thinks she’s turning into her father... she doesn’t strike me as much of a game-player or subtle two-facer.

- I’m intrigued what will happen with Oviedo and Lina... I feel like they won’t stay in England long.

- He was made knight bannaret... nice... but why does he thank Catherine publicly for this? It was in Henry’s gift that he was made a commoner Knight.. if this transpired irl Henry would have been gravely insulter.

Catherine’s Dead Baby and thereafter:

- Guys. In all seriousness, I don’t think the TV series is trying to imply that Catherine killed the baby with her negligence. I mean, they are so bent on us liking her they wouldn’t do that. It would be a bit too ballsy anyway. Remember the red splotches I mentioned earlier? Could those have been a sign that he was already ill but no one noticed/was in denial?

- The pebbles in hands would have had more emotional payoff if it had been established earlier if you know what I mean. Basically, this episode is too fast and entire arcs begin and end within it which extinguished any build-up.

- Oh man Henry is so sweet in this, how will they build him up as the tyrant he was historically if they keep this up?

Scotland Again:

- I must admit, I don’t like all those nicknames they keep using. But somehow James calling Margaret ‘Meg’ is nice and seems fitting.

- What’s a hermana sister?

England Last Mourning Scenes:

- YOU DID NOT BUILD CAMELOT ughhh

- Why is Catherine giving the speech and not Henry?? It turns out Catherine was more emotional historically then the whole perception of ‘perfect queen of stone’ to which some people hold her. However, I doubt it would have been proper of her to give a speech in such a emotional manner.

Conclusion:

6.5/10

Some of the dialogue was stilted, the costumes are confused as to which era they’re supposed to be (aesthetically distracting) and many other characterisation issues.

I don’t have high hopes for this series in terms of cinematography or art but I sure as hell expect it will be entertaining. So far, everything is just getting set up and I find some aspects promising. As you can tell I am truly excited over how the Margaret Pole plotline. I am also interested in how Henry will be portrayed, with Catherine being so OTT and pushy this episode Im starting to Stan him more. In this show he appears sensitive and serene and kinda... adorable. Kind of like a little brother hanging onto his sister’s skirts.

But in a way that is a disservice to the real historical figure which would not tolerate such a representation. I am very irritated by this whole ‘joint-rulers’ thing which is just sooo innacurate. These STARZ shows have an obsession with showing women turn into men for the purposes of feminism - I see.

Catherine overpowers Henry too often and it sometimes feels like he’s HER consort. Of course, the feminism in this show is schizophrenic as we get the overemphasis of Catherine as a 1950s motherly ideal with the whole breastfeeding angle (“you’re better than other noble woman who would find this beneath them”, “they’re not as motherly as you”).

So the relationship dynamic between Henry and Catherine is a bit off at the moment, but oh well.

Mary Tudor is a bit distracting with her dark hair but I find the actress extremely endearing and promising. I know there will be emphasis on her storyline too and I hope they’ll not be clichéd with it.

#the spanish princess #the spanish princess 2 #lady plantagenet's series reviews #not my best #but I've been ill for most of the week and wanted to get this out before episode 2 comes tommorow #feel free to send me an ask if you you have anything to say #I'd love to see if anyone else thought some of the same things

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years ago

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I take it you like someone? If so, who do you like? Nope, you’re wrong.

Any sexual stuff happen in the past two months? Nope.

Is your phone right next to you, or at least close by? Yeah, it’s near me.

What windows are open on your computer right now? This one and YouTube.

Anything you would like to say to someone? Nah.

Last place you went besides your house? The doctor on Tuesday.

Have you ever wanted someone so bad, and then they completely stopped talking to you? Yes.

Who is the last person to call you? My mom just did to ask me about something I wanted at the store.

What was the last movie you watched? Wonder Woman 1984.

What are you doing tomorrow? Same ol’ thing.

Was 2013 a good year for you? That was the year I got super drunk and sick at my birthday and haven’t had a drop of alcohol since and also when Joseph ended things between us for good. Those are the things that stand out for me that year...

Do any of your friends dislike each other? I don’t have any friends.

Who knows your biggest secret? I don’t really have like a “big” secret.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Not romantic feelings, no.

Do you care if people hate you for no reason? I mean, I’d be curious as to why.

Are you in a good mood? I’m tired and annoyed. I saw there was a Fruity Pebbles creamer and as someone who loves Fruity Pebbles, I wanted to try it thinking obviously it was going to be good. Well, it was not. It was disgusting, 10/10 would NOT recommend. So disappointing. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any other creamer so I was SOL. That means I haven’t had coffee and that’s not good. Fortunately for me, my mom had to go back to the store for dinner so she’s getting me creamer. Now I’m just impatiently waiting for her to get back, ha.

Do you think ex’s can remain friends? It happens for some.

Were you single on your last birthday? Yes.

Are you starting to realize anything? Umm. Nothing new.

Are you currently looking forward to anything? I’m waiting for my mom to get back with the creamer.

Could you go a day without eating? It happens once in awhile. I have a messed up appetite and stomach issues and sometimes I don’t want to eat anything. Or when I’m really sick. I don’t often go full days without eating at least something, though.

How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Zero.

What are you doing right now, besides this? That’s it.

When you listen to a new song, do you usually play it over and over? Not back to back, but I’ll listen to it often.

You’re single, right? Correct.

How’s that going for you? It’s fine. Definitely for the best.

Has anyone laid on your bed besides you? Yes.

Who’s the first person you spoke to in 2014? I probably was at my friend’s house for New Year’s Eve that year.

Do you ever want to get married? No.

How was your Saturday night? It was fine.

Do you own anything from Victoria's Secret "Pink" line? Do you really think the clothes are worth the price? No.

What does your last incoming text say, who was it from, and how do you feel about that person? My mom texted me back “yes” in response to my question. I love my mom, she and I are very close.

Did you have a New Year's kiss? Nope. I’ve never had one.

Are there any words that you cannot pronounce or that you pronounce incorrectly? I can’t think of one at the moment.

After a long day at work or of doing something physical what tends to hurt more? Your back or your feet? After a day of doing nothing I’m in pain, so.

Do you have a smart phone? If so, what's your favorite app? Yeah. YouTube, Kindle, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram are the ones I use most often.

Who would you say is the overall best person you know, and why? My mom and brother. They just are.

If you had to choose between being a Nurse or an English teacher which would you choose and why? An English teacher out of the two. I couldn’t handle anything in the medical field.

How much older than you was the oldest person you have dated/had a relationship with? The two guys I had a thing with were both a year younger than me.

Is anything stressing you out at the moment? Oh, just the usual stuff.

What is your opinion on dating someone who already had a child/children from a previous relationship? That’s not something I’m looking for.

Have you ever actually found a mascara that makes a huge difference for your lashes? Yeah.

Do you have any plans for Valentine's Day? Did you do anything last Valentine's Day? Nope. It’s just another day for me.

Do you check your horoscope daily? If so, did you relate to your horoscope at all today? No. I don’t believe in that kind of stuff.

When you need to remember something how do you usually go about doing so? I use my reminder or calendar app on my phone.

Have you recently accomplished anything that you are proud of yourself for? No.

Are you still friends with any of your exes? Do you still communicate with any of them at all? Nope. What is your opinion on people that shop at Sephora for makeup as opposed to buying makeup from the drugstore? I don’t care?

When you enter a store like Target or Walmart where is the first section you go? Walmart is where we do our grocery shopping and other household stuff and my mom and I have always start at the side with shampoo, soap, toothpaste, medicine, etc and work our way around to the food. As for Target, I just head straight in usually and walk around the store.

Do you live on your own or with your parents/a roommate? Do you think you'd like to live alone? I live with my parents, brother, and doggo. I have no desire to live alone.

What is the last online purchase you made? Journaling stuff and a Bible study book.

Do you usually have bad symptoms around "that time of the month"? I always felt like absolute shit around that time.

Is there anyone you have to see on a daily/weekly basis that you really dislike? Nope.

Is your hair thick or thin? Would you say it's easy to manage? It’s thin.

Have you ever had to deal with any type of long distance relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship? I’ve had online friends who were from different states or countries.

Are you procrastinating doing anything right now? No.

How do you feel about being called sweetie/dear/honey/etc.? I don’t mind it.

Have you ever had a thing for/relationship with a coworker? How did it end? I’ve never had a job, so no.

What would you say is your worst habit? Picking at my face. :X

What is the weather currently like where you live? It’s been in the 50s F.

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without their shirt on? No.

Do you believe the last person you kissed still cares about you? Nope. I honestly feel like he forgot I even exist.

Who was the first person you saw this morning? My mom.

Do you worry your last ex will move on and be happier with another person? I’m sure he has and that’s great for him. It’s been several years, I’ve long since moved on.

What were you doing at 1 in the morning? Surveys and watching YouTube videos.

Are you a jealous person? I can be, but I honestly haven’t felt that in years.

What does your last text say? “Yes.”

Would you hug the last person you hugged again? Yes.

Do you like to cuddle? I don’t have much cuddling experience to be honest, but sure.

Has the last person you kissed ever made you cry? Yes.

Are you excited for anything? No.

How are you feeling right now? Tired and hungry.

What are you doing right now? Just this.

What should you be doing right now? I don’t have anything else I should be doing.

Are you worried about anything right now? Always.

Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom.

Do you have any drugs in your bedroom? I have prescription medication.

Do you know the person who's locker is next to yours? I’m not in school. I also never had a locker.

What is annoying you? Nothing really at this moment. I was annoyed about the creamer situation earlier and about not having coffee, but I’m finishing this at a later time and I’ve since had my coffee.

Do you like the color blue? Yeah.

Do you know anyone who is going through a hard time? Yeah, including myself.

Did you get to sleep in today? Well, I stayed up until 7AM so I could call my doctor first thing when they opened to cancel an appointment and then I fell asleep after that until 230PM.

Where will you be in 1 hour? Right here.

Who did you last talk to in person besides family? My doctor.

Anyone you were good friends with, that you no longer get along with? No. Like, I don’t have friends anymore but it’s not because we didn’t get along.

Has anyone let you down lately? Just myself.

Anyone you'd do anything for? My family.

What will you be doing tomorrow? My days are all the same. Did you meet anybody new today? No.

What is your favorite TV show right now? I have many, but a new one my mom and I have gotten into is Dare Me on Netflix.

Do you make any art? I like to color. That’s about as artsy as it gets for me.

What colors go well with your eyes? *shrug*

Would you go out with somebody you just met or do you have to be friends? I like to get to know someone a little first.

Do you like any magazines in particular? I haven’t read a magazine in yearsss.

Is it okay to laugh really hard over corny jokes? Yes...? Why wouldn’t something like that be okay?

Do you have a habit of falling for people already in relationships? No.

Do you flirt with people more than people flirt with you? No. I’m not a flirt and no one flirts with me.

Are you a pancakes kind of person or waffles? Waffles.

Has your best friend ever called you when they were high or drunk? No.

What’s your favorite kind of cake? Funfetti, strawberry, red velvet, white. Buttercream frosting, of course. Well, except for the red velvet, which must have cream cheese frosting.

Do you like yourself? No.

Have you stolen anything recently? No. I don’t go around stealing things.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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forgiven-whimsy · 4 years ago

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The Red Violin

FFXIV write 2020 prompt 2: Sway

Shiloh’s song Shiloh and Emet’s duet (note the spotify version has a longer piano opening.)

Anyways, touches of Lominsan/Vylbrand headcanons (they’re the ff Newfoundland, imo) Aumortine music and art headcanons, and Garlean headcanons. Imagery leaning heavily on 5.3 revelations, while I don’t use express spoilers, reader beware.

Set After Rak’Tika, but before Ahm Areng.

Rated T - Angst

Wol x Emet-Selch

(Why yes the Red Violin is one of my all time favorite movies, why do you ask?)

“I am a patron of the arts, always have been, the best your kind has to offer is found in the arts, incomplete as it is, there’s a certain charm to be found in it.” Emet-Selch sipped from his wine glass, swiping his gloved finger over the bars surface then wrinkling his nose.

“What do you mean incomplete? Art is by its very nature subjective, therefore art’s completeness is defined by the artist, not the audience.” Shiloh replied, not particularly keen on hearing about all the ways she was inferior, but curious about how his timeless people made music, or art, the idea of Asciens being artists was a foreign concept, yet getting to know Emet-Selch, not entirely far-fetched. Solus Zos Galvus was historically a patron of the arts, she’d been aboard the Prima Vista and seen the reach of his patronage.

“It would be easier to show you.” And with a snap of his fingers the Crystarium vanished and he transported them to an entirely different environ. They were in a theatre, great gold trimmed red curtains, on stage a spotlight centered on a sleek black grand piano, surrounding it was all manner of string instruments, violin, cello, lute, harp, and even others she couldn’t name, Shiloh itched to touch them, to try them and see what sound they might make. The stage jutted out in a half moon, far more open than anything she’d ever seen, the audience seating surrounded the stage allowing a certain intimacy between artist and audience. Above, there was a massive chandelier whose teardrop crystals twinkled in the soft theatre lighting, the balconies climbed three stories, each gilded and carved with vines and flowers, painted in reds and golds, opulent. Stage left there was one particular balcony that caught her eye, the carvings more elaborate and draped in finery.

“This is the Great Arena Theatrum in Garlemald,” Shiloh near gasped out, before rounding on Emet-Selch, “you brought me to Garlemald?” She had just let him, an Ascien, teleport her to the heart of enemy territory, and she wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed, furious or ashamed at being taken so easily. The musician in her near fainted with joy. Regardless of Garlean politics, every musician, actor, and dancer worth their salt has dreamt of performing on the Theatrums stage, Shiloh was no exception. While she was the daughter of a Doman refugee, she had been raised in Vylbrand, and the island's lifeblood was music. A house wasn’t a home without a piano, and a fiddle, and she’d been taught both as a child. She could recall playing her fiddle standing on the kitchen table imagining herself on this very stage.

“Calm down hero, we are in an approximation of my own making, hidden away from prying eyes here in Norvrant, my fool grandson let the Theatrum fall into disrepair.” He sniffed derisively, “when I have proven my point to you I shall return you to the Crystarium without a hair out of place. It wounds me that you still don’t trust me.” He gave her a smile that did not inspire trust.

He walked her into the spotlight, his gloved hands touching her lightly at the elbow, the twinkling light from the chandelier painted stars onto the raised top of the grand piano exposing the finely curved wood and strings within. Sitting on the piano bench was a violin case, Emet-Selch presented it to her with a flourish. Shiloh sat and opened the case to reveal the most exquisite violin she’d ever beheld. The spruce top had been stained a deep red with a bow to match, she delicately ran her fingers over the curving wood, the strings, the bow. Shiloh made a noise in her throat as she lifted the rare treasure into her arms, that prompted a chuckle from her Ascien companion. “A peace offering, the only condition is to play me something that stirs your soul, something original if it please.” He lifted her chin forcing her gaze from the violin to him, “move me, and I shall show you what your music once was.”

“No pressure,” Shiloh held his gaze, seeing a spark of something she couldn’t describe in his golden eyes. “It’s been years since I’ve played, anything.” The weight of his expectation was heavy. He only smiled.

“I have faith in you, dear hero.” Emet-Selch snapped his fingers and he disappeared into a black portal, she heard it re-open stage left, and there he sat, every inch an emperor in his gilded private balcony. “Take whatever time you need to warm up.” he called from his lavish chair, glass of wine in hand. With that, the theatre lights dimmed, the instruments, all save the grand piano, vanished, the spotlight remained on her.

Shiloh felt like a mouse being toyed with by a cat. Squaring her shoulders she set the violin to her chin and prayed to all the Twelve and Kami, The Light and Dark both, that the bow would glide across the strings without screaming. The last time she’d picked up a violin was at Haurchefant’s funeral, at the behest of Lord Edmont, nearly two years past. A lance of grief sliced through her. She could refuse, she could tell him to bring her back to the Crystarium, but then, she’d never know what Ascien music sounded like. It was the memory of Haurchefant, the two of them sitting shoulder to shoulder playing a silly duet on his childhood piano in the Fortempt music room that steeled her spine.

She started with a slow scale, each note sung and not screamed, to her considerable relief. Shiloh exhaled, it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t terrible, her fingers remembered the strings. She warmed up with scales, old childhood lullabies, folk songs played around the kitchen table. Finally she played an Ishgardian waltz, the sheet music a gift from her departed friend. She felt herself smiling, eyes shut, tail swaying in time with the tempo. Her mind filling in the missing instruments as the red violin sang with a full and mournful voice. So focused on practicing and remembering, Shiloh didn’t hear Emet-Selch’s portal behind her.

“All very lovely, my dear, I’m sure Master Jevant Dufet would be pleased with such an able rendering of the Midnight Waltz, and without sheet music, most impressive.”

Shiloh startled, spinning around to face him.

Emet-Selch tutted her while he approached, he placed gentle hands at her waist, spinning her back into the spotlight. He was in her space and she could feel his warmth, smell his scent. “I didn’t ask you to stop.” His long arms reached around lifting the violin back to her collar bone, he tilted her head just so before tracing a gloved finger along her jaw and arched neck. “I want to hear the song that resides in your soul.” His breath ghosted along her cheek, the timber of his voice resonating along her horn, and she felt her skin pebble. “Will you play it for me?”

“I don’t know, I don’t have any original composi-”

“Stop thinking, close your eyes, listen, and play.” His voice was patient, while he lifted her bow arm to the right position.

Shiloh inhaled, and did as she was bid, listening, for what, she didn’t know. She felt the quick beat of a Thanvarian flamenco fluttering in her chest and slowly bow met strings, and the song that flew out was urgent, her bowing quick and precise borrowing heavily of the Thanvarian style, but so too was there a distinctly Ul’dhan quality, in her mind's eye she felt as a bird flying over the dunes, weaving over the rising heat.

Emet-Selch’s touch was soft, gone was the silk of his glove, replaced by warm skin, his snap fit within her song and suddenly the guitar, the percussion, the accompanying strings, the piano, the light horns, the full voice of her song burst forth, the violin threading through each section. “Open your eyes.” he whispered against her horn, and she did.

Gone was the theatre, they were bathed in the colours of the sunset, and above them flew a phoenix, dipping and diving along all the lands she’s seen, and saved, and loved. “Don’t stop.” he whispered, setting a hand on her hip and squeezing. She gasped at the sight, at the raw beauty. And she played with a bursting heart, tears slipping from unblinking eyes unwilling to look away from the dancing phoenix. She increased the tempo, bowing more quickly, the notes tumbling along the winds of the star, knowing that it would end if she stopped, and she didn’t want it to stop. She let the fire in her soul burn as brightly as she could, uncaring of the ach in her fingers, knowing only that the creature above was born of her music, and so she played for it’s pleasure, and it soared, the violin it’s voice and heart. Until in a burst of flame it was consumed, and the song ended.

She swayed on her feet, consumed by emotion, bittersweet tears running down her face. She leaned against Emet-Selch who remained behind her, his hand at her throat, and hip moving gently, caressing. Overwhelmed she exhaled a shuddering breath.

“Do you understand now, what was lost?” He asked quietly, voice heavy with the same emotion she was feeling.

“How did you?”

“I assure you my dear I did nothing but lend you a sliver of my power, the song, the image, everything, was born of your heart, your soul. And so it was that all art was created in a similar fashion. The full intent of the piece complete.”

Shiloh spun in his arms, still clutching bow and violin, she was met with a half quirked smile and a softness in his eyes she’d not thought possible. He tenderly brushed the tears from her cheeks, “yours was always a beautiful song, so full of passion.”

Shiloh’s head was swimming, she wanted to keep playing, she had so many questions, and yet she found herself drowning in the liquid gold of his eyes, the same pale gold as her own. She licked her lips, and leaned against the palm of his hand where he held her cheek.

“Play with me?” she asked breathless, “before we go, play with me, a duet.” He closed his eyes, his expression pained, “please, Emet.”

“How can I turn down so earnest a plea?” he gave her a rueful smile, “but, first.” He pressed his forehead to her own, and she felt something, cool, and comforting wash over her, where her song, her aether, she belatedly realized, was like the sun, Emet-Selch’s aether, his soul was as the moon. Her own aether responded, curious and warm, until their essence mingled, until there was no ending nor beginning between them. “There, that should serve.”

Shiloh both did and didn’t understand what he’d done, he stepped back going to the grand piano. His presence remained, slowly curling around her, lazy and familiar. “As before, listen, and play.”

Shiloh lifted the violin, and tilted her head, giddy with anticipation, moving to be in sight of him and waited.

Emet began the song, quiet notes on the piano, Shiloh did not close her eyes this time. With each passing note the theatre fell away replaced by blackest night until a city made of stardust rose around them. He met her eyes and nodded and she knew her part had come and she joined her song to his, she knew the notes, a song from a past she couldn’t place, suddenly the starlit city filled with people wraithlike and sparkling. But it was two individuals that caught her eye. Emet-Selch changed the tempo to a style she’d never heard before, yet it was familiar, she adjusted her tempo to match. The two wraiths danced, spinning through the grand city, there was joy in their movements. Unadulterated love between them. One lifted the other, and she could swear the one who was lifted laughed, when placed down they ran from the first, a game. The first chased, sometimes catching them in a kiss, sometimes missing, until the other rounded back to jump into the firsts arms. Shiloh’s heart ached, the song and starlit players a half remembered memory. The song changed again, mournful, the city fell away, one of the wraiths, the one who played, faded, leaving only one, until it also faded, and the song ended.

She felt the pain thrumming from Emet’s aether still entwined with her own, his head bowed over the piano. Shiloh set the violin back in its case and went to him, wrapping her arms around his back, anything to ease the overwhelming sadness. His hand grasped at her arm, and she felt a shudder from him.

“I’m here.” She whispered against his ear, soft hair tickling her nose.

He shook his head.

“I’m here.” She repeated, not understanding all, but knowing what she witnessed in their shared song had been a glimpse of their story.

He twisted in her arms, anguish on his face, “you left.” his voice a harsh whisper fraught with emotion.

She had no answer for him, nothing to ease the pain, she didn’t understand, didn’t remember, whatever her soul had been to him, was gone, but it’s echo knew him, called to him, and she kissed his angry mouth, a despairing sound whimpered from Emet’s throat. He grabbed her and kissed her again, and again, hungry, lost, full of longing. Their twined aether created a feedback loop consuming them. His hands were everywhere, and Shiloh arched into him. In a moment he had her against the piano, discordant notes interrupting their growing passion. It was enough to stop them, and for a half beat they stared at each other panting. Emet-Selch was the first to move, tearing his aether from hers, and she winced, the withdrawal a physical pain. He snapped his fingers, returning Shiloh to the Crystarium, as promised, without so much as a word.

She made her way back to her room in the Pendants, still processing everything she’d learned, and seen, and felt. Every so often touching her kiss swollen lips. She slid into her room meeting no one she knew along the way, no one to question the high blush on her cheek and chest, or the dazed look in her eyes. Distracted as she was it took a minute for her to notice the violin case sitting on her kitchen table. She knew before opening it what she’d find within, a promise, a memory, her red violin.

#ffxivwrite2020 #ffxiv #prompt #Emet-Selch x wol #have some music and some angst #with half an hour to spare #Shadowbringers #Vague 5.3 spoilers #Exposed writes

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #285

"do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?”

What does your car smell like? You assume I have a car. Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? ^ Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? Yes, Sara. I want to visit her again, but right now I have no clue when that will happen. I have another friend that wants me to shoot her wedding that was planned for this year, but it was delayed to an unknown date, so. What was the last thing you used a blender for? A margarita. Have you ever got into an argument with a stranger on social media? Do you remember what it was about? Yep. There's been a couple. Has COVID had any impact on your Christmas plans this year? What’s going to change or be different to normal? Yes. Mom and I aren't coming while Ashley's inlaws are there at her house, and then I think we're going to my other sister's since she wants to cook? I've only really overheard Mom over the phone, I'm not 100%. I'm just. Going with it. What’s your favourite flavor of cake? Are you any good at making that kind of cake? Probably red velvet, or just double chocolate. I dunno. I love cake. I don't cook, though. Are you currently under any COVID-related restrictions where you live? Are people generally following the rules? Well, you're SUPPOSED to wear a fucking mask, but "it's a hoax" and "you can't make me" fuckheads don't listen, and it's poorly-enforced. You see people without them all the time. Do you still watch cartoons? I'm not opposed, I just don't watch television. Is anyone else in the same room as you right now? What is that person up to? No. Do you use Pinterest? Ha, I get most of my (unedited) avatars from there. It also gives me some pose ideas for photography. Are you wearing earrings? Ugh, no. I absolutely hate how the first holes stretched from heavy earrings. I need to get a proper tapering set if I want to actually use gauges (mind you, very small) so they look even semi-good again. I don't wear any in the second/upper holes because I think it just looks weird with nothing in the first. Do you know any sign language? Not anymore. In elementary school, we did do a play however where in one of the songs, we signed the lyrics. I remember zero. Have you ever gone on a service trip to an underprivileged country? No. Which breed of dog do you find most scary? None. Ever been to a pottery class? Not particularly, no. I've made pottery in normal art classes multiple times, though. When you were young, did you ever pretend to “marry” somebody? I have no idea. I don't have a specific memory. Don’t you just find it annoying when people get too much plastic surgery? Oh, fuck off. Is it your body? Is it there to boost YOUR confidence? Then your opinion doesn't fuckin matter. Are you the type who usually plays it safe? Yep. Who do you think about most? It's certainly not willingly, but Jason. PTSD kinda engraved his presence in my brain. How’s your grandmother? Both are dead. What’s your favourite type of cloud? Big, tall, and poofy cumulonimbus ones. Do you have a birthmark? Where? Does it look like anything? Yeah, a slightly darker brown blotch on the side of my right forearm, near the elbow. If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Probably people smiling. My nieces' and nephew's came to mind first. What is your most disappointing moment in life? I've been living it for years now. I'm not who I wanted or thought I would be at all. What is the best reward anyone can give you? Validation lmao. What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Meerkats, always. God, I can barely boil it down to three words. Loyal, complex, and brave will have to do. What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Pink. Soft, pretty, gentle. What do you consider to be the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? As a child, my big plastic crocodile named Marlin (yes, after the Finding Nemo character) that was the "main character" in my games of make-believe. As a teen, probably Rebel, the stuffed meerkat Jason gave me. Now, it's absolutely the pebble I got upon "graduation" from my partial hospitalization program. What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? I'm not sure; I've seen a good deal. Thinking of only the ones I've seen in-person, uhhhh... wait. A couple days before my overdose, in desperation, I called Jason's house in the middle of the night wanting to talk to him. His mom answered, and she talked to me for hours with such patience and kindness to try and calm me down. I miss her a lot. Is Frozen one of your favorite Disney movies? No, I never really liked it. If you were an explorer, would you rather explore the Arctic Circle, Antarctica, or Alaska? Ohhh, Alaska. It's gorgeous and at least not absolutely frigid everywhere. How many blankets do you sleep with in the winter? I usually just have my usual thick comforter, but if I'm seriously cold, I'll grab another smaller one to wrap myself in underneath the big one. Do you know of anyone who was in labor or gave birth to a baby during a major snowstorm? HAHA my mama w/ me. Do you enjoy eggnog during the winter - with or without alcohol? EW. Do you dress any of your pets in seasonal/holiday apparel? No; I really dislike the concept of dressing your animals unless it's truly for their own benefit/warmth. Who was the last person to give you a gift? What was the reason for it? Uhhhhh. I have no idea. Are you a good cook? If so, who taught you? What’s your favourite thing to cook? NOOOOOOO. When was the last time something in your house broke? Did you manage to fix it or did you need to buy a replacement? Ugh, my laptop is fucked up. It's either the charger port, charger itself, or Mom thinks perhaps the battery. Her friend's husband is gonna look at it after Christmas. Is any part of your body hurting right now? What caused that pain? For once my legs aren't hurting. They almost always do from either muscle atrophy or them having been still for too long. The last time you made a sandwich, what did you put in there? It was just a normal 'ole peanut butter sandwich. What’s your favorite time of day? What’s your favorite thing to do at that time? First thing in the morning, because it feels like a new start. I like watching the sky change from pinkish to blue while I'm just sitting in bed checking everything. Where did you go the last time you left your house? I rode with Mom to her doctor's appointment. I didn't go in w/ her for obvious reasons, I just wanted to go on a ride and listen to music. If you eat steak, how do you like it cooked? What sauces or sides do you like to go with it? It has to be medium well. Idk what sauces are cooked into it that I like, because I don't make it. I like fries with steak, and probably Sara's mom's mashed potatoes would go well, haha. Do you prefer sweet or savory pancakes? What toppings do you have on them? I can't imagine me liking savory pancakes... I just like the usual: butter (not mandatory tho) and syrup. Are you someone who cracks their joints a lot? Which one(s) do you tend to crack and click the most? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO, I HATE THE NOISE SO MUCH. My lower spine pops a lot, though. Some fingers occasionally, too. Have you ever taken medication or tablets to help you sleep? Is this something you do on a regular basis? Yeah, I was taking Melatonin to fight insomnia for quite a while. I only stopped it because my mom was theorizing that it may have been making my nightmares worse, because her dad had AWFUL nightmares on it. I don't know if it did or didn't foor me, honestly. For you, what’s the worst thing about getting up in the morning? What about the worst thing about going to bed tonight? Knowing in the back of my mind that despite my hope, today's going to be the same as yesterday. I dread most nights the process of lying down and actually falling asleep, because it can take hours. Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks? Not only do I think diet sodas taste bad, but the artificial sweetener gives me awful headaches, anyway. What do you tend to wear if you’re just hanging about the house for the day? I'm only always in my pjs. When was the last time you dyed your hair? Did you do it yourself or get it done at a hairdresser? Ugh... it's been a very, very long time. It was done by a hairdresser, but per usual, the color didn't stick well. I am DYING to bleach my hair so I can dye it pastel pink, light silver, or like a creamsicle orange. I edited some pictures of myself to "try" these colors on, and omg I loved them all. Does having to wear a mask stop you doing things? Is this because you struggle wearing one or you just don’t like it? Not really, no. I barely go anywhere at all though, so I have Have you ever witnessed a car accident? Or have you perhaps been involved in one yourself? Were you at fault? Yes; yes; no. How many books do you read in a year? Do you enjoy reading or do you have to really force yourself to sit down and read? VERY few. I've only just gotten back into semi-regularly reading since Sara got me into Wings of Fire. I have one friend though that is an INCREDIBLE bookworm; she keeps track of how many books she's read in a year, and she's already beyond one a day. It's incredible. If you have pets, where did they come from? A breeder, a rescue or maybe a friend who bred their pet? Roman came from Ashley's inlaws'. They have like an infestation of cats needing to be spayed, so they didn't at all mind letting me have one because I'd been wanting a cat for a long time. I love my baby boy so much. Venus came from The Gourmet Rodent, a snake breeding (and F/T rat provider, as the name suggests) business from Florida. I highly recommend them. Their customer service was fantastic when I was worried about Venus not eating. They even checked up with me a few months following my emails to ensure she was doing well. Have you ever seen an episode of My 600lb Life? No. I absolutely NEVER could. As an obese person who's been fighting her fucking ass off to lose weight for years, I don't want to be further depressed. Do you feel bad when someone asks you to hang out and you say no? Oh yes I do. Ngl, if I don't want to hang for whatever reason, I'm the kind that makes up an excuse to not seem *as* "rude" (quotations bc it's technically not rude at all, anxiety just tells me it is). When was the last time you turned down plans with someone? What did you decide to do instead? Ummmm I'm not sure. Have you ever had any “unusual” or exotic pets? If you could own any animal, what would it be and why? Do you consider iguanas or Chinese water dragons as "exotic/unusual?" Nothing stranger than that, really. I would never, ever own a truly exotic animal that wouldn't do well in captivity. I do however pretty desperately want to rescue an opposum one day, though. I positively adore them; they're my second-favorite animal. How often do you wash your hair? I don't even have a regular schedule for that anymore, honestly... I have to every time I shower because my hair gets oily FAST, but I try to put off showers as long as I can handle now because of how bad my selfcare has been for multiple reasons... What have you found the hardest about the current pandemic? Not seeing an end in sight because people are fucking dumb. Shit's not going to get better unless things drastically change. And what about the easiest? Has anything improved in your life because of what’s happened? Certainly nothing has improved. Not much has changed for me, considering I barely ever left the house to begin with. If you have multiple pets, do they get along with each other? Are they related or even the same species? They ignore each other, really. Surprisingly, even. Roman will sit on my bed and watch Venus slither about occasionally if she's out, even meerkat pose haha, and playful as he is, it's unexpected that he *does* mostly ignore her. What was the last meal you ate? Did you have anything good? Breakfast; I had Special K cereal. I've finally started to get back on track with eating okay. Do you live somewhere where strangers say hi to you in the street? Would you like to live somewhere like that? Where we live now, if you pass someone outside in the car, it's normal and really expected to give a little wave. That's very normal here in the South though, really; you don't just have to be in your own neighborhood. Have you ever tried any of those meal replacement shakes? The chocolate Equate ones are normal in my diet, actually. They're really not bad at all and played a big role in me losing ~60lbs before. Funnily enough, I haven't found a popular name brand I like, though. Cheap stuff isn't always bad. Do you make up silly nicknames for your pets or family members? "Silly" ones, not really, besides Roman. I call him "weirdo" and "crazy" a lot, but nothing truly unique. What’s your favorite thing to take photographs of? Are you actually any good at photography? Nature or boudoir (only shot it once, but I love it and the confidence it gives people). Being as modest as possible, I honestly do think I'm pretty good at it. Do you have anything interesting planned for the rest of the day? How about for tomorrow or the weekend? I haven't had anything interesting planned in eons, it seems like. Are you going to take the vaccine for COVID once it becomes available? Once it proves to be reliable and safe, hell yes. I'm doing my goddamn part in ending this shit. How much housework have you done lately? Is this more or less than usual? A bit more than usual since I haven't finished decorating my room since moving... I've been doing it very slowly and gradually. I need to just finish it already, I'm just so unmotivated. What gifts are you hoping to get for your next birthday (or Christmas, whichever one is coming up next)? I'm fucking dying to get my tat redone/improved. Been waiting since LAST Christmas when I didn't get to use my own gifted money. Do you suffer from any form of motion sickness? No. Do you contribute regularly to any Facebook groups at all? "I’m a member of plenty, but hardly ever post." <<<< Same. I react to posts a lot, though. Just don't really make my own. When was the last time you weighed yourself? Were you happy with the numbers you saw? Ugh... when I went to the doctor I think last week. I knew it'd be bad, but the verification fucking sucked. Since moving, I've gained ~30lbs. Have you got any chronic health issues? What do you do to try and manage them as best you can? YIKES I am a CATASTROPHE. I've got a dictionary of mental health issues that I'm not gonna go through individually, but I deal with them via prescription medications and therapy and sheer will. Who taught you how to drive? My driver's ed teacher. It was mandatory in HS. What was your high school mascot? A firebird. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. What did you do after graduation? I very briefly went to a community college. What was your first job? GameStop sales associate. If my social anxiety wasn't fucking shit, I probably would have liked it. What did you want to be when you grew up? Somewhat in order: paleontologist, vet, movie director, game designer, animal biologist, video editor (VERY brief), and photographer. Writer, poet, and artist were always something I wanted to do in my free time OR full time if I was lucky. Do you remember the first time you drank a beer? I've never tried beer and don't want to. It smells fucking awful, and because my dad is a recovered alcoholic who was addicted to that in specific, I just want nothing to do with it. Did you ever try cigarettes? No. I have absolutely never understood the appeal, but with a very addictive personality and wild anxiety, I never wanted to risk it, anyway. How did you spend your summers growing up? LOADS of swimming in the pool, jumping on the trampoline, and just playing outside in general. If you could change anything from your teenage years, would you? I'd absolutely change how I found happiness only in Jason. Do you remember your first time? No, because at that time, I didn't really realize it was sex. I know that sounds weird, like "how would you not know?", but just trust me. I don't feel like retrospecting on it. I do remember our first *kiss*-kiss, though. How much did you make per hour at your first job? I don't recall. Favorite home-cooked meal growing up? I looooved spaghetti. Favorite place to eat out growing up? McDonald's, duh, lol. Did your parents live in a different country before you were born? No. They were from different states, though. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? Don't like coffee. Have you ever dated someone who was terrible with money? No. How often do you paint your nails? Never. Do you know anyone who's related to a current or former world leader? Not that I know of. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't pay taxes because I'm unemployed. What is something you don't have any natural talent for? Speaking. At all. What is something you frequently forget? "Numbers." <<<< BIG fat same. How do you feel about your body? How much I hate it is on my mind literally every waking moment of my life to some degree. Who is someone you would like to get to know better? So I have this Facebook friend Courtlynn who seems very similar to me, and I'd love to get to know her better. We interact via posts here and there, but have never seriously talked. What's your opinion on assisted suicide? I am very much for it when a person is in serious pain and recovery is not possible. Like one of my greatest nightmares is being paralyzed from the neck down, and I stg I would spite whichever fucker had jurisdiction over me living. That would be absolute torture for me. At what point do you consider a relationship to be "long-term?" A year, so long as you were consistently together. Stable. What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? My dad's been a mailman my entire life, and he had a second job at Lowe's for a while as a carpenter. He hated it. Mom worked with computer data at the hospital when I was very young, and then she was an assitant and special needs teacher for a long time. Do they still have these jobs? Or different jobs? Or have they retired? ^ about Dad. It's his only job now. Mom is currently on disability. Do you have a cell contract plan, or are you on a pre-paid plan? Would you believe me if I said I'm unsure? Haha. I use a Tracfone, and my mom takes care of whatever plan comes with that, so idk. Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? Mom, absolutely. I'm unsure about Dad. I mean he wouldn't *seriously* care so long as they were good to me, but I think he might still be kinda racist. Or he just jokes about it a lot (which should not be joked about, btw). Do you like when friends stop by unexpectedly? "No way lol. I’m very much of a loner and want to be “prepared” to spend time with people." <<<< Absolutely this. How strong are your feelings for the last person you kissed? I love her very, very much. What was the last thing someone else bought for you? Food, I'm sure. Are you attracted to the last person you exchanged numbers with? I haven't seen a picture of her in years, so I have no idea. I remember she was beautiful, though. Is music a daily part of your life? Not daily, no. Some days I only watch YT videos instead of listen to music. What do you think of country music? Not a fan at all. It's ironic considering it was my favorite genre as a little kid. There's the occasional country song I like (mostly ones from my childhood, though), but those are few and far between. Tim McGraw, now, I love. Did you go to your high school’s graduation? Yeah, even though I didn't want to. I didn't care enough about the actual ceremony. Who was the last person to message you on Facebook? What would you do if that person told you they have feelings for you? That would be the woman I took family pictures for. She's married and we barely know each other, so I can assure you she doesn't. When you apply your make-up, do you do it in a specific order? On the very rare occasion I wore makeup, yes. Eyeliner, usually eyeshadow, mascara, and most rarely, black lipstick. Does it matter to you if your significant other smokes? Yes. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Mom, I think. Do you like where you are in life right now? HA. Is your mom overbearing? No.

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''basket case'' by green day

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