#I love my job but the specific store I'm at is a pain in my ass

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Realized I haven't posted here in almost MONTH so I'm here to tell you I still think about this man every single damn day.

the amount of thoroughly constructed DiscoPunk content I have in my head that will never see paper will astonish you I just be sitting around like la-di-da just laid up thinking of Them

Miguel too. His fine ass. I be thinking thoughts of him. He be getting thunk of. Him and Moche. Not gonna deny him his fineness

Just so you know. I'm thinking about them. Right now. I will continue to Think Of Them.

[This is a weird way of me saying I'm STILL HERE still making DiscoPunk stuff I just haven't been posting it but Im off work this week and that means I HAVE TIME 😈]

Also I love you all 🥺

[chanswhxre]

Channie's Room [Kinktober '24]

✩ kinktober masterlist ✩ requests ✩ kofi ✩ ao3

♡ Pairing : chan x afab! reader

♡ Genre : smut, daddy kink

♡ Word count : 2.5k words

♡ Warnings : 18+ nsfw, explicit sexual content. I will not put any more specific warnings to avoid spoiling the story. Read at your own risk!

❗️ minors, ageless, and blank blogs that will interact with me or my work will be BLOCKED.

September is almost ending, and nothing in your life seems to be going well. You have a job, but it isn't what you wanted in the first place but it pays well, though; you just broke up with your boyfriend of 2 years, you're getting kicked out of your old apartment for adopting a kitten, and when life couldn't get any worse, your cat just puked on your favorite rug just before you were about to pack it, you wanted to scream, but you didn't want to scare off your cat. You loved the little bugger even if he's a pain in the ass sometimes. You wanted to relax a bit before going back to packing, and you remembered it was Saturday night, and that only means one thing,

🔴 Channie's Room is now LIVE

You settled in with your comfortable clothes, your favorite drink, and, of course, your favorite toy. You got into the stream and saw him, only in a white, fitting tank top, camera stopping on his neck; he's got a new wolf scratch tattoo on his shoulder; shit makes him hotter than ever. 

"Hey everyone, it's your favorite Korean-aussie, Channie!" He greets, making hand gestures.

He seems awfully cute with his greetings. He takes his time to catch up with his viewers and greets his loyal patrons and generous tippers. You've been a patron for as long as you can remember, and you loved his genre. Even though he streams NSFW content, he makes you happy and giddy. You also know deep down that this guy looks good. 

"Oh wow, thanks for the tip, wanderingbae. I haven't even started yet." He giggled, and you could see his abs tense. You bit your lip wondering what he got in store for today's live.

"Tonight, I'm doing requests! I want to know what my baby girls and boys want to see for tonight. So let's open up my ngl." He giggled.

"Oh, baby girl asks if daddy can take his tank off and..wow you want to hear daddy whimper? Tell you how much he likes it and how bad he needs to cum?" How can this man go from cute to sexy in just a blink? He was giggling a few seconds ago, and now he's straight-up teasing.

This would be another Channie's room that surely won't fail to give you mind-blowing orgasms. Let the stream begin!

The following day, you filed for leave to facilitate your moving to a new apartment. You went later in the afternoon after you finished packing all your stuff. Your room was on the fourth floor, and it's just your luck that the elevator was being repaired for the day and would be fixed late in the evening.

"Great, just great." You sighed, looking at your things. You didn't really have a lot of stuff: two big suitcases of clothes and other necessities, a huge box for other essential life stuff such as kitchenware, your cat's things, and your cat carrier. How could you bring these to the fourth floor? Sure, multiple trips wouldn't be the problem, but the weight of what you're going to carry was the one you're worried about.

"Need some help?"

You turned to look at the man who spoke with a familiar voice, making you unconsciously drop your jaw at the gorgeous man in front of you.

"Oh, it's fine. I can wait for the uh elevator."

"Really? I heard it won't be fixed until late in the evening. What floor are you moving to?"

"Fourth, but really, I can wait. I don't want to bother you or anything, " you insisted.

"I live on the fourth floor, too! Nice to meet you, neighbor. My name is Chris." He smiled. You know you're not supposed to trust strangers, especially good-looking ones, but who cares about stranger danger if it's this man? You feel a good vibe from him, and besides, he probably lives next to your new apartment. Getting to know your neighbors is a good start.

"I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you, too."

"Let me help you carry these. I insist." He offered again.

"Are you sure? We're probably going to make a few trips up and down."

"I can handle it. Carry what you can, and I'll take care of the rest." He winked.

You carried what you could, and it was done in a flash. How did this guy carry all of it? How does he have so much stamina? He settled your things in the living room, and you thanked him for it. You asked him to stay so you could order food for him as another way of saying thank you, but he said he'd come over another time, and then you added that you could cook for him.

Settling into your new apartment was surprisingly easy, especially when your neighbor is very kind, not to mention eye candy. He gets along with your cat so well. You've shared a few conversations, and you have even invited him over for dinner sometimes or just to hang out, and he would be totally down for it. You've spent quite some time together for a month already, and you'd be a liar if you didn't say you hadn't had a single dirty thought about this man.

"Cool tattoo you got there." You complimented him on the wolf scratch tattoo on his arm. It's the first time you're seeing it since he rarely wears a muscle tee or tank top outside since it's cold. It looked oddly familiar, though.

"Thanks." He smiled.

It was your first time in his apartment since he usually visited yours. He graciously offered to cook dinner tonight, and while he was setting up the table, you looked around and saw a few pictures of him, his baby pictures, his family back in Australia, and his dog. You saw a guitar and a keyboard near the shelf of a thousand albums of probably his favorite artists, and then a small opening of his room showed he had LED lights and a computer setup inside. His room looked like you'd seen it somewhere, but you just couldn't point out where. It's your first time coming to his apartment that's why it baffled you why it was so familiar.

Dinner was served, and it was delicious. Chris opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate. He said that he had reached a milestone on his channel. Chris had told you he worked online as a freelancer, but now that he's mentioned the word "channel," he might be a famous YouTuber, but you were too dumb to notice.

"So, what's your youtube channel? What content do you do?" You asked him.

"Oh, I don't upload on youtube. I livestream on some website."

"What website?" you asked out of curiosity, and then it clicked to you exactly who he was: the broad torso, the muscular arms, the tattoo, and the accent. It's him—it's definitely him. You're not being delusional.

"An adult livestream site." He gave you a mischievous smile. "Judging by your expression, I have a feeling that you know who I am."

"You... you're Channie in Channie's room, aren't you?" you hesitantly said, and he laughed at how cute you were blushing when you mentioned his screen name and channel. Obviously, you were a patron since you knew who he was and the title of his streams, but he didn't know that you were a generous tipper, too.

"Guessed it right." He chuckled. "You a fan?"

You were hesitant to tell him the truth; would he make fun of you? Or would he think that it's hot how you watch him every weekend? Oh how you wanted to scream from fangirling, you've always wanted to see how Channie looked like and you were right, he looked like God had taken the time to perfect him with the just the right amount of everything but overflowing with sexual appeal and gorgeousness all over.

"So you are." He concluded with your reaction, and you gulped. "Hey, there's nothing to be shy of, baby girl."

Your clit buzzed when he called you baby girl, and you might have felt a little wetness start to pool down there.

"You're shitting me. How come I didn't notice right away? Those kissable lips you show from time to time, the fucking hot wolf tattoo—oh shit, I said too many words, was it too much?—"

"So you think I have kissable lips?" He teased.

"No! I mean, yes, you do! I didn't expect you'd be this hot in person and that you'd be m-my neighbor!" You stuttered, getting nervous for the first time in his presence.

"Well, did I exceed your expectations?" he asked, and you nodded, pursing your lips, scared that you'd accidentally tell him your nastiest thoughts about him. "Wolf, got your tongue?"

"N-no..I don't know." You said. 

You can't even look him in the eye. You wondered if he was imagining how you'd play with him every weekend, and you got embarrassed thinking about it, but little did you know he was already imagining it. Did you like his streams? Did you get turned on out of your mind? Did his streams make you sopping wet? Did he help you have earth-shattering orgasms?

Chris thought his heart would burst because of your cuteness, and he couldn't help but be curious; since you saw him cum on cam for god knows how many times, he wanted to see how hot you looked cumming too, but he didn't want to cross a line if you weren't good with it.

"Hey, don't be shy. I should be the one who should be embarrassed. You've seen me play with myself and cum loads of times, I bet." He tried to reassure you.

"Yeah..it was really sexy every time you do." You bit your lip, gathering your courage to look him in the eye. Flashbacks of him playing with himself and shooting hot strings of cum running through your head at full speed.

"I'd really like to see you cum too, if I may." He said, trying to shoot his shot.

"What?" Your eyes widen in shock. "I don't think I look sexy when I cum."

"Let me be the judge of that, kitten." He said, and with that, he moved closer to you, brushing his nose against yours. Were you going crazy? Yes, you were. Were you just letting this man have his way with you? Absolutely. Were you going to make him cum just like in his livestream? Why the hell not? "So, are you down?"

"Yes, daddy." You didn't know how that slipped, but that answer made Chris growl.

You softly placed your lips on his, and he went berserk at how soft your lips were. He didn't want to be rough, but he couldn't help but feel excited, so he cupped your cheeks and deepened the kiss. Your hands roamed around each other's bodies as if you missed each other for a long time, leaving no part untouched.

Chris suddenly carried you, not breaking the kiss and flopping you on his bed. He climbed on top of you. He swiftly unclipped your bra, and before you knew it, both of you were undressed in his bedroom. He trailed kisses down your ear, jaw, and neck all the way down until you felt his hot breath reach your dripping core.

"Fuck, this is how wet you get for me, baby?" He groaned; he couldn't wait anymore and started devouring you.

Wet. Hot. Messy

That's how Chris liked it, and honestly, this was driving you crazy as well. You never thought you would end up like this, sprawled in his bed as he eats you with much gusto. He never tasted cunt as sweet as yours, and that instantly made him addicted to your taste. He circled his skilled tongue on your clit, making you moan loudly, and when he sucked on it, you grabbed on his hair for dear life.

“Fuck, daddy!” You moaned, feeling your orgasm build up.

“Yeah? You like that?” He growled between slurps, drinking your juices like he was deprived of water in the desert.

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum!”

“Come on, cum for daddy.”

Your body shook hard as your orgasm washed over you, and Chris hadn’t stopped sucking on your clit even if you were already shaking from sensitivity. He hooked his strong arms around your thighs, preventing you from getting away from his mouth as you writhe from the slight pain and sensitivity.

"Fuck, I would pay to see you cum every damn time!"

As you came down from your high, you pushed him on the bed and straddled him, kissing him, tasting yourself through his mouth.

Finally, you can live out your fantasy of sucking his cock and not just stare at it through the screen. He was already leaking. You always wondered what his cum tasted like, so you licked a bit of it on his precum-coated tip while making eye contact. It was everything you've ever imagined. His eyes were looking directly at yours with desire and anticipation.

You wrapped your hand around his thick girth and spread his precum with your thumb all over the tip of his cock, which earned an exasperated sigh from him. You licked from the bottom of his shaft all the way up before swallowing him whole. You knew Chris was a moaner in his streams, but hearing it in person was absolute euphoria. You sucked and swirled your tongue on his cock as moans spilled from his mouth, and before you knew it, he was already pulling you to sit on it. He got a condom in his bedside drawer and slid it down his thick, hard cock quickly.

You held his cock to position it on your dripping entrance and slowly sank on it. Both of you let out a satisfied groan once he bottomed out. You grinded on his cock at a slow pace which was frustrating him, so he flipped you over and slowly started picking up the pace. It was rough but delicious. Your eyes were rolling to the back of your head as he began hitting that sweet spot inside you.

“Who’s your daddy, baby girl? Tell me.”

“You are...SHIT!” You screamed as he started rubbing your clit with his thumb as he thrusts into you hard and deep.

“Like that baby? You like daddy rubbing your little swollen clit like that?”

“Yes! FUCKING YES, DADDY!”

You felt his cock twitch every time you called him daddy. He continued his ministrations, and he felt your pussy tighten as you reached your peak and then it contracted uncontrollably as if your orgasm was milking Chris into his very own, and with a few sloppy thrusts, he came into the condom. Moans and profanities slipped out of his mouth as you both rode your orgasms out. Chris withdrew and threw the condom out and laid beside you—both of you sweaty and out of breath.

“That was..”

“Mind-blowing.” He finished your sentence for you.

“Mind if we do it again sometimes, daddy?”

He giggled, cringing at the word you called him by in a non-sexual situation.

“Sometimes?” He cocked his eyebrow. “I guess you don’t want the full Chris experience then?”

“Every day then, if you let me join in on your streams someday.” You teased, unserious about joining, but it wouldn't be bad, though.

“Deal!”

✩ reblogs, feedback, & comments are highly appreciated. it motivates me, and it is the lifeline of my blog. To everyone who read and interacted with my works, such as comment, and reblog especially with text, thank you so much 정말 감사합니다 ♡

✩ if you want to support my work, buy me a coffee ☕

- love, jan ♡

© 2024 Chanswhxre

[samd1o1]

Sometimes I can't tell if a character is coded or I'm projecting...

With that in mind, let's talk about The Spot!!!

Ok so, I think Spot is coded to be disabled. Specifically a newly physically disabled person.

My main reasons to call this coding is because of Spot's lines like "I can't really get a job anymore being like this." "My family won't even look at me."

He can't get work anymore and his family has disowned him. An unfortunate reality for many disabled people.

Of course this could also fit with some other types of coding but I think it's for disability this time around because his body literally went through a change. He has to relearn how to do basic things like eat for example. He has to learn how to navigate his body again.

Another fun point I want to bring up is his character's gothic horror aspects! (This is related I swear).

Again could just be my personal biases (I just had a gothic horror hyperfixation). But I think it's partly intentional.

The Spot reminds me a LOT of The Invisible Man. Both are scientists who have undergone a painful horrific body horror transformation that has led them to be outcasts. They are both silly at times but angered easily to the points of world domination. (Also Spot's outfit in the store is a reference to The Invisible Man)

Now The Invisible Man (story) has a lot of gothic horror aspects. Most importantly a monster who has undergone a transformation that has led him to being outcast by society. He's othered.

Same thing happens to our boy Johnathon! The reason I wanted to bring this up is because gothic horror tends to be relatable and loved by lots of queer and disabled people.

The reason is a big theme is said othering of the monster. In an effort to other the monster from "normal" people you accidentally (or intentionally) end up making something relatable to lots of people, typically queer and disabled people! Hence why many villains in pop culture are queer and disabled icons, while not actually being stated as such in canon explicitly.

Ok sorry for rambling lol but this has been on my mind since I saw the movie. Anyway The Spot is disabled bye.

[ethanjhake]

Personal Life Update 🙃

Well, I quit my part time job.

I've been working as a deli clerk at a local grocery store for about a year and seven months, and during all that time I've been looking for better work options, applying to different (better) jobs, and found nothing.

Working there has been a big strain on me mentally. I'm a huge introvert by nature, meaning that too much social interaction will wear me out like nothing else. Working in a customer service position means a constant flow of new people who I have to interact with, so by the end of every day my energy would be so low I couldn't ever bring myself to work on my art or comics. And originally, the only reason I left my full time job was to free up more time for me to pursue comics as a career.

Where I work, the quality of customer service is meant to be really high. Your typical "the customer is always right" type of mentality. In my training they literally told me to think of the customer as my boss, since they are the ones ultimately paying the store and me by proxy.

But having to bow to the wishes of just Anyone has moral consequences when the customer is in fact not right, and very very wrong. The more and more I had bad customers, the more and more I was forced to watch, and even enable bad behavior.

Having to do this every day was crushing for me. All the while management was telling me to keep on smiling, like nothing was wrong. I started to employ coping mechanisms just to get me through the work day, but then I started to see that creep into my personal life. My wife would get my attention, just to show me a funny meme or something, and I'd mentally wince, as if she was a customer.

I love people, they're all beautiful and unique in their own ways. But my time behind the deli counter made me start to view everyone else as a potential threat, just in an effort to protect me from having to encounter wrong doing and then be forced to stand by and smile. Or even having to ask the wrong doer if there's any way I can help them?

So I quit. Or, I put in my two weeks. even as much as it pains me to have to spend another minute working there, I thought it would be best to leave in a way that feels respectable. I also wanted time to say goodbye to good coworkers I met there, and not leave them with an empty slot on the schedule that they would have to scramble to fill.

But the big problem with this is that I don't have another job lined up, and I've been looking for different jobs for almost two years and not found anything. So the best I can do right now is step out in faith. And I guess, sometimes you don't have to know where you're going quite yet, but you can't stay in the City of Destruction.

So I'm technically "unemployed" at the moment, although I will be taking on Door Dashing as a means to make money for the mean time. And there's hope in that. It looks like I can actually make more money doing that than I was at my old job. But even then the pay is uncertain, and I have to keep an extra eye on my car and its maintenance. It does also complicates taxes some.

It feels like the Wrong Decision™ in many ways, but even then, staying feels like an even worse decision. I wasn't even making that much money there.

Yesterday my boss offered to leave me in the system, so that if I needed more work I could shoot her a text and she could schedule me in as long as she had the extra hours. And on the one hand I was tempted, it felt like it could be a good safety net if all else fails. But after thinking it over, I said no. I think God is calling me to leave for good, and to trust that whatever happens He will provide. I don't know how He will or how long it'll take, but that's not what trusting is about. And I honestly feel like that's the point of what I'm going through right now. I feel like God specifically had my boss make that offer, not as a test, per se, but more to help me understand that I am stepping out in faith, and that—even as scary as it is—I do trust him.

So today is my last day. After that I go to Door Dashing and continue my work on SotF. And I guess, it really couldn't hurt to put a link to Ko-Fi here. I'm not asking for money so don't feel any pressure, but God does provide though his people. So if you feel so inclined here is my Ko-Fi.

And here I go,

[bobwess]

It feels like you want to do torniqets

The leading cause of the preventable deaths in an emergency is uncontrolled bleeding.

Tourniquets can be used on limbs (arms/legs) and are for uncontrolled arterial bleeds. That's your bright red pulsing and spurting blood.

Uncontrolled bleeding is the first thing you will address after being sure there is no danger. It is important to stop that blood before you do anything else. Once you get the tourniquet on, you must write the time you applied the tourniquet on it or on the body part next to it in permanent marker. You must also write a "T" on the forehead, so if the limb is covered by blankets, emergency personnel know there is a clock on it.

Choosing your tourniquet:

There are 5 main kinds of Tourniquets, each with their pros/cons.

The most common and well liked tourniquet is the CAT (specifically the Gen 7) It's designed for the military, it is straightforward and easy to apply, it works well every time, and it can be done to yourself if needed. It will get the job done. Love it. My recommendation.

Then you have the Sof-T. It's a lot like the CAT but worse. (Fight me.) It looks nicer but it's less practical and slightly more expensive.

RATs is another one. This one isn't at all like the CAT, it instead is more of a elastic band material that you loop through an end piece to lock it off. The RATs is a little bit cheaper, around $20 The RATs will cause more nerve damage and pain though, because it is pinching it off with a much narrower band. However, because it doesn't have a huge stiff plastic windlass and locking mechanism, it's incredibly flexible and much more comfortable and practical to have in the pocket or a purse than carrying a CAT.

SWAT-T is another type. It's like an exercise elastic band and the instructions on how to use are printed right on the side. It's not easy to use. I don't think this tourniquet is worth your time.

The STAT is the last kind. This is your set it and forget it. It can be a little harder to get full tension on it, I still far prefer the CAT, but this goes on like a zip tie. You slide it on, pull it tight, and press the button. It automatically records the time itself, you'll just have to put a T on their forehead. (Write it in blood if you gotta.) The easiest of all the options for sure. If you want a tourniquet, don't really want to learn how to use one or the others are intimidating, it's a pretty good choice to throw in a first aid kit, backpack, or glove compartment.

NEVER get your tourniquets off Amazon, there are a LOT of counterfeit tourniquets on Amazon, and a counterfeit one will not have the right materials to hold pressure. North American Rescue is where I get my tourniquets, but there are a couple reputable medical supply companies. My Medic is a good site.

Normal belts can not be used as emergency medical tourniquets. I don't care what the movies told you. Drugs? Maybe. Stop the bleed? No.

I'm not going to get into what to use for a makeshift tourniquet, but you can find a tutorial online. It just won't be as effective, fast, or easy as a proper one is.

I personally carry a RATS tourniquet in my pocket at all times and have a CAT tourniquet on the passenger sun visor of my car.

-

Practice with whatever brand of tourniquet you are getting. And look up the best way of storing it to grab it and deploy it easier.

You will know the Tourniquet is tight enough because all blood flow to the limb will stop. There will be no more blood escaping the wound. Once blood flow is entirely stopped, the limb is actively dying. There is a limit to how long the limb can go without bloodflow in which the doctors can save the limb, otherwise the limb will be amputated at the tourniquet line.

Wwith modern technologies, it is hours before the limb is a gonner.

The military goes "high and tight" meaning whatever limb needs a tourniquet, they strap that thing on as high on the limb (close to the heart) as possible, fast easy mindless because they have a support team that is likely to get this person back to medical before anything happens.

If you don't know when your extraction will be (how soon you'll get medical attention) it's usually recommended you put the tourniquet roughly 3 inches above the wound (making sure you don't apply it to a joint like the elbow or knee).

Be warned, the tourniquet quickly becomes the most painful part of their body as it is crushing the nerves. They're gonna want to rip it off, you have to keep them from pawing at it and potentially undoing it.

-

I recommend getting a bright color tourniquet. Black is fine if it's what you have, and it can look cool, but you want people to see the applied tourniquet as easily as possible and bright flashy colors are the move for that. Attach a sharpie to your tourniquet! Just take a sharpie, put it in the case with the tourniquet or just in the same place. You'll want to be able to write the time and the T and it's easier if they're together.

[shuxiii]

Love you two times

Huh Yunjin x reader

a/n: this piece of rat doodoo was in my draft for a solid 5 months now (estimated it) and I wanted it gone my bad if it's so bad.

synopsis: starting a new life in a foreign country is difficult as is forgetting the past you once lived. but the person you once loved brought back to your present, reliving the past you once avoided, will you ever want them back?

‘‘Argh, moving into a new country is a pain in the ass.’‘ You groaned, as you roughly let go of the heavy boxes in your hand laying down on the carpeted floor of your empty apartment. 

You recently got accepted in a company abroad as an intern, with your parents helping you rent an apartment that’s near your work, made you grateful they loved you despite being a shitty child.

‘‘Yeah, its a pain in the ass, but at least I’m finally getting my dream job.’‘ You spoke back to nothing, giggling on the floor, looking like a mad woman, with sweat dropping against your forehead. 

You were happy to start fresh, America was a hellish place for you, everything there was so full of dreadful memories, and now you finally got the chance to put aside your past and start anew. 

You sighed, standing back up, dusting your clothes, craving something to eat after hearing your stomach growl. But to your dismay, your boxes weren’t filled with food, instead just boring clothes and items you brought to your newly homed apartment.

‘‘I should just probably buy some noodles across that convenience store.’‘ You murmured to yourself, before picking up your wallet and jacket, leaving shortly after.

You walked the bustling city of Seoul, the beautiful scenery reflecting back at your sparkling eyes. So pretty. 

you entered a 24/7 convenience store, walking on each aisle, looking for a particular noodle you specifically searched for, your eyes shinning at your favorite ramen, you rushed quickly at the coincidentally last ramen on the shelf, your hands reaching out for it only to feel another hand against yours. 

You were taken aback as you glanced to the side, to see a quite tall girl despite the mask hiding half her face you knew she was quite young, making you nervously let go of her hand. 

‘‘Oh, y-you can have it.’‘ you stammered, since you weren't fluent in Korean, it was quite hard to speak coherently without stuttering in the process.

‘‘Really? Cool!’‘ her eyes gave away her masked smile, jumping slightly before taking your hand and shaking it dramatically.

‘‘I’m Eunchae-’’ Her eyes widen, her hand covering her mouth despite the mask already covering it, she looked like she just exposed something, as you gaze back at her confusingly.

"Hi Eunchae, I'm Yn" You responded, feeling a bit perplexed by her rapid shift in facial expressions from shock to confusion to relief.

‘‘It’s nice to meet you, yn, thanks for this ramen, I owe you one if I see you again!’‘ You chuckled as she let out a squeal, unable to contain her excitement.

She waved her goodbyes at you one last time before leaving the store.

‘‘Well, there went my favorite ramen, but at least I gave it to someone adorable.’‘ You chuckle back at yourself, hoping to see her again, oddly enough she reminded you of your little sister, making you smile a little wide, good memories dwelling in your thoughts.

-

You laid back down on your soft fabric bed after eating nothing but ramen, you were quite still hungry but it was way too late, and your first day as an intern started tomorrow, you don't want to leave a first bad impression on your record by being late.

drowsiness overtaking you, as you slowly drown in sleep, excited for what tomorrow will bring you.

-

Well crap, you thought, running on the street, your blazer flying crazy against your body, your head disheveled, with your only breakfast which was bread, stuffed in your mouth. You were almost late. 

You went faster than anyone could to the entrance, apologizing to the old guard, who took quite a fright at your sudden bolting to the door, before repetitively pressing the elevator button, you cursed as you saw the floor number, it was currently at the highest floor, making you abruptly run to the emergency exit stairs.

This was not what you expected for your first day, this was like a race to satan’s door. 

Your body dripping in sweat, your chest harshly heaving up and down, gasping for air. You finally reached the floor.

You tiredly opened the door to the room before collapsing on the couch inside the recording studio room.

‘‘A-Am I late?’‘ You sttuttered, barely able to finish your sentence corherently.

‘‘Nope, you’re right in time.’‘ The producer cheerly gave you a thumbs up, smiling back at your slouched figure.

Who smiles at a monday morning. You thought.

-

‘‘Well, as expected their late again.’‘ The producer muttered, looking at his watch, it has been 20 minutes since you came in the room, your body feeling quite better after running a flight of stairs.

"Who?" you asked, looking puzzled at the producer. You got up and walked over to the stereo systems in the room, running your delicate fingers over them gently.

‘‘Oh, it's this newly debuted girl group, since this is your first day as an intern, you're going to observe me, and maybe give out ideas or two for their new comeback!’‘ he happily explained, his eyes full of passion, clearly enjoying his work. 

As if on cue, the door opened widely revealing multiple girls coming in with their loud voices erupting inside the room, still your back was facing them.

You hear them greet the producer before noticing your presence.

‘‘Yn, I want you to meet Le sserafim!’‘ suddenly the producer’s voice turned deaf in your ears, and the room felt small.

You look back, you felt your heart drop, and the air in your lungs disappeared.

Her figure was not what you expected to see after years, your chest tightens gazing on her face, it didn’t change one bit in fact it looked much more prettier last time you saw her.

Luckily her attention was focused on her phone, giving you time to cover yourself with your jacket, awkwardly moving your body to face your left side to hide your face even more.

‘‘Oh my, it’s her!! she was the one I met in the convienent store!’‘ 

You squint, eyes widening realizing it was the same girl you saw yesterday, her name Eunchae was it. 

‘‘Oh, you mean the girl who you stole the ramen?’‘ a Japanese-looking girl snickered. 

‘‘No, I did not, she gave it to me!’‘ Eunchae dramatically defended herself earning laughs from the other girls. 

‘‘Who?’‘ You suddenly became tense at the sound of a familiar soft voice that you hadn't heard in years. It was clear and loud, causing your heart to race and your body to instinctively hide.

‘‘Oh, her name is Yn, she was the girl I was talking about!’‘ Eunchae explained, making you cringe at her exposing your name just like that at the last person you would ever want to see again.

Her ears twitch at the name, quickly glanced up, looking at your covered figure.

Her focus is now solely on you, tucking her phone away in her pocket, She paused and took a few steps towards you, her heart racing. She needed to confirm if you were the Yn she had been yearning for all these years - the only person she had ever loved.

The producer patted your back, gesturing you to talk back, making the hood that hid your face fall down at the sudden force, giving away your identity. 

Well, shit. 

Your eyes slowly meet her doe brown eyes, catch sight of it, full of unspoken emotions you couldn’t comprehend. And with just that, all of the dreaded memories you hid under your heart, came crashing down to you. 

Yunjin was in shock. After all these years, you looked exactly as she had imagined. She could hardly believe it - finally, she was seeing you again. Her heart swelled with happiness, and she instinctively raised her hand to pull you in for an embrace. However, you moved away, avoiding her gesture.

‘‘I-I um I need to go to the bathroom!’‘ you awkwardly shriek, bumping into the other girls, and running down the hallway. leaving an overwhelmed Yunjin 

-

"Fuck fuck fuck" you leaned against the sink, your hands running through your hair, your teeth between your lips.

"This can't be happening." You repeatedly said, now covering your face with both your hands.

Why does she have to show up now, after all these years? Just when I've finally gotten myself together, I have to work with her.

You took a deep breath, holding your chest, trying to calm down the fast pace of your heartbeat.

"I can handle this. Just maintain a professional attitude and everything will be alright," you reassure yourself. Taking a deep breath, you calm your nerves and regain your composure.

-

‘‘What was that all about?’‘ Chaewon nudged Yunjin’s side, whispering at her. 

‘‘What.’‘ Yunjin mumbled seemingly staring at the floor, like it was the most interesting thing to look at. 

‘‘Like you almost pulling that new girl in your arms, almost as if you knew her.’‘ Chaewon crossed her arms against her chest, now sitting straight on the couch.

‘‘It was nothing.’‘ 

Chaewon raised her brows, clearly uncoinvinced by the short excuse.

‘‘Dont lie to me, Jennifer.’‘ 

Yunjin sighed, her lips forming a frown. ‘’She...She’s my ex.’’ 

Chaewon let out a gasp, quickly concealing her surprise at the major revelation.

‘‘What?! Do you mean the one you always talk about? That was her?’‘ Chaewon loudly whispered now moving closer to Yunjin.

‘‘yes." Yunjin sighed for the third time, what was she thinking of course you'd act like that. After all, it wasn't like you guys were still bestest of friends after she left you, even when she promised she'd keep in contact but she never did.

"how about you talk to her?" Chaewon suggested.

"I wish, but It seems like she doesn't want me to." Yunjin pouted, playing with the ring on her finger.

"Do you still want her back?" Chaewon firmly spoke.

"I do but-"

“No buts, if you still love her and really do want her back, you should show her that, show her that you wouldn't make the same mistakes, Go for it!” chaewon jokingly shake Yunjin’s slouched figure, her eyes full of sincerity.

Yunjin smiled softly, her hands on her lap.

“Okay, I’ll prove it to her, I will, thanks Chaewon I really needed this.”

Chaewon smiled back patting Yunjin’s back.

-

Since that day, Yunjin has been a constant presence by your side. You can always spot her in your peripheral vision, and she always seems to be focused on you. She finds ways to strike up conversations with you and subtly suggests grabbing a meal together. She even makes excuses to prolong her time with you.

Despite that, the challenges of getting you back was harder than she thought, you’d always have an excuse of being busy or you had somewhere to go. Of course, she knew that was a clear lie, and she understands that but she didn’t expect it to hurt her that much, you avoided her, but that didn’t make her stop pursuing you. Getting you back was hard work she’d commit to just to have you back in her arms.

-

Yunjin wiped the beads of sweat that dropped against her brows, her heavy breathing echoing in the practice room.

She stayed a little more, to rehearse the dance step she had a little hard time learning. Alone in the room she sloppily walked towards her water bottle chugging it down, the water dripping on her shirt.

She checked her phone, it was 12 a.m in the morning. She groaned stretching her arms, moving them in a circular motion.

She picked up her sling bag, texting her manager to pick her up from the company.

She stood in front of the entrance, shivering at the cold breeze that passed her, receiving a reply from her manager, saying she'd be a little late because of the harsh weather.

she took a seat on the waiting benches, playing with the keychain of her bag, yawning with the tears building up at the corner of her eyes, the rainy night made her drowsy.

That is, until she noticed someone in her field of view, it was you beyond the entrance door, standing against the pouring rain, slightly damp but safely protected by the building's roof from the heavy rain.

Suddenly, the drowsiness that had engulfed Yunjin has turned into concern and worry as she sprints towards you.

You felt a coat cover your freezing body, the familiar pungent scent of the jacket made you look back.

‘‘What, are you doing here?!’‘ She shrieked, grabbing hold of your wrist to pull you back inside the building, but your body didn’t budge at all. 

‘‘I’m admiring the rain.’’ You whispered gently, your gaze now fixed on her bleached hair; you loved it better when it was black.

As she let out a soft sigh, her grip on your wrist loosened and she eventually released your hand, though the sensation of her touch lingered on your skin.

She stood a little closer to you, feeling the warmth of her body.

‘‘Why are you soaked?’‘ her eyes looking at the tree’s moving into the rhythm of the wind.

‘‘I was going to walk home but the rain chased over me, so I had no choice but to go back here.’‘ You played against the hem of her soft fabric jacket.

The wind became louder, the rain falling against the roof drowned out the loud hammering of Yunjin's chest, being this near to you made her happy, a lot happy.

But the silence was something Yunjin couldn’t stay in forever, she was willing to ask you again and again.

‘‘Yn.’‘ Her voice came to a whisper that the wind overtook.

‘‘Hm.’‘ 

‘‘Whatever we had, can we have it back?’‘ 

The emptiness of silence you gave her made her heart ache even more, her eyes carefully glancing at your physique, your countenance blank.

"Why. Why repeat the past and only hurt the both of us, again." You let go of the hem of the jacket. Now your hand forms a tight fist.

"But it won't happen again, and I won't leave you like before." She grips both of your hands tightly, her voice shaking slightly from the cold or perhaps from the fear of losing you again.

“oh really, now that you have everything you ever wish for, you think it’s easy to go back to the way it was. Because ever since you left me, I’ve been counting every second and every minute of you gone, dreading for you to come back, but you never did, if you really did love me maybe. maybe this would have never happened.’’

All of Yunjin's memories flashed before her eyes, and the expression you gave her was the same. The same dreadful look you gave her as she went away. It caused her heart to tighten in an awful way.

‘‘I get that you were chasing over your lifelong dream, but what about me? where did I stand in your life? did you ever place me in your future, or was I ever in it to begin with? ’‘

‘‘You are-’‘ 

‘‘If I ever was then, maybe you still kept in touch with me, but you never did, did you?’‘ 

Of course, what reply could she ever give to you with that sentence? and she deserved this, she was selfish, she never thought what you felt. It’s true when they said love makes us both selfless and selfish, you were selfless enough to accept that she left you over her silly dreams yet you always told her, she was special to still dream.

''Then, give me a second chance I'll prove to you that I can still fix things!''

''We aren't the same people we used to be-''

Yunjin hugs you tightly, putting her head against your shoulder.

''Please, yn we can still fix this because after all these years I still love you, people do change but my love for you didn't. I can't afford to lose you again so please, can you take me back''

''Please..''

before you could even give an answer, a car stopped beside you both. showing her manager in the driver's seat.

You felt the once tight embrace slowly loosening, she had to let you go.

''think about it, I'll give you space'' last words she said before avoiding your gaze into the car.

-

ever since that day, it has been a week since she stopped bothering you. you'd walk past her at times and be in the same room as her yet, she felt far away from you, she avoided your gaze and only ever spoke when it was important.

And the more she did distance herself from you, the more it distracted you. why was it difficult for you, this is what you wanted right. yet, it didn't feel nice at all.

so here you were, in a bar driven nuts with drinks you could gaze upon, chugging it all whole.

''Yn, I think you've had enough..'' Your friend, Kai spoke looking anxious at your drunken state.

''I'm fine, I'm fine'' you motioned your hands at him, slurring in the process.

''Seriously, I think we should go home'' Kai, holds onto your arms ushering you to stand up. but you push his hands off, muttering no's, hugging the chair.

''Why won't she just leave me alone, why is she giving me space. I hate her so much'' You muttered, laying your head against the chair.

everything went black, and you felt someone holding onto you. You opened your eyes slightly, you were in the parking lot, your arms up on someone's shoulders. someone was carrying you.

''Thanks for picking her up'' You heard Kai talk to someone.

''Don't worry I'll take care of her, thanks for taking care of her'' The familiar voice perked your ears, making you glance to your right, to see her. Yunjin was carrying you.

You heard them bid goodbye as Yunjin, carefully put you on the passenger seat, gently holding onto your arms to help you.

Why was she the one picking you up?

You both shortly arrived at your apartment, and she left the driver's seat. You hazily look at your window pane, seeing her open the door holding your arm onto her shoulder and helping you up.

''Be careful'' She mumbled.

You stumbled a little, going inside the apartment the room was dimly lit, and she lays you down on the couch.

''I'll get you a glass of water, I'll be back-''

before she could even step foot away from you, you gripped tightly on her wrist. She gazes back at you startled.

''Don't leave me'' You muttered.

''I'll just get something, I won't be too long'' She tries to remove your hold, but you only gripped it even more tightly. Pulling her close to you.

''You already left me once, don't do it twice'' You slurred.

''Okay, I won't'' She sits on the floor, letting you hold her hand for a while.

There was a moment of silence until,

''I miss you''

''You miss me?'' She said.

''No, I've been missing you ever since had your back faced to me, I've been missing you even when you stood right in front of me'' Your eyes stared back at Yunjin's glistening ones.

''I missed you even when you were still mine''

Yunjin's heart took its pace, feeling overwhelmed at such a revelation, but she shouldn't get ahead of herself, you were drunk after all.

''Yn, you're drunk,'' she spoke.

''Let's just talk about this tomorrow when you're sobered'' She stood up, but you persisted gripping tightly on the hem of her shirt.

''I can try, I'll learn to love you again- so don't leave me'' Your voice filled with drowsiness.

She faces back at you, with a gleam in her eyes. Brushing the strands of hair covering your face.

''Okay, I won't leave you.''

[1eos]

May I have some lovely book recommendations on this day <3 😁😁 I'm trying to read more this next year

you sure can!!!!! i'll list my fave reads of the past few years:

convenience store woman by sayaka murata -one of my fave books of all timeeeeee. its basically about a woman who just doesnt fit in into 'normal' society and even tho she's happy ppl feel like she shouldnt be bc she's not progressing w everyone else. if you've been the weird girl ever this book will

ring shout - p djeli clark. a historical fiction novel where the kkk are like demons and theres this organization of black hunters. its action packed but what makes it so amazing is the emotional growth of the characters :') an all time fave

the vanishing half - brit bennett. another AMAZING historical fiction book. its abt family lines....and colorism and twins and what it means to be white passing and privilege and generational trauma. it honestly has toni morrison core vibes where there's a lot of pain but thru love all is healed!

there's no such thing as an easy job by kikuko tsumura. a bit of an eclectic read. this woman takes on different jobs and they each give her grief in a new way. very relatable esp if you hate your job 😭

the vegetarian by han kang. THEE GOAT. i will recc this book until the day i DIE. and even then. its technically a horror story abt the fallout after a woman has a dream/vision and decides to stop eating meat but its sooo much deeper than that. its such a great look at how, as a woman, everything abt you is subject to critique down to what you eat

parasite eve. thee classic scifi horror the video game was inspired by! think frankenstein but there's a love story underneath. but also you question if it was love at all bc what if the mitochrondria inside of us are just manipulating everything we do? i loved it! writing style is a bit clinical but idc

my sister the serial killer by oyinkan braithwaite...i read this one in a single day it was THAT GOOD. sister is a serial killer and the fucking implications and fucked up shit that comes from lookism and family expectations and misogyny tbh. love it~

annihilation by jeff vandermeer. the first in a series but you can just read the first one. its sooooooooooooooooooo good. its a scifi book about this mysterious barrier off the coast that's slowly expanding and inside nature is reclaiming its space and most everyone that enters the barrier never returns.....another quick read bc it will have you HOOKED

yellowface by r f kuang. i don't usually enjoy satire but r f kuang really TOOK IT THERE. this is the most infuriating book you'll ever read but in the best way. this white author w an inferiority complex objectifies her friend that she secretly hates and then steals her friend's book. only thing is the friend is proudly asian and her book is abt specific cultural history so the white girl does diet yellowface and is just a massive bitch

beloved by toni morrison. how do you sum up beloved? i cannot sum up beloved. if i had to sum up beloved i would say 'love is a haunting but not every haunting is love and the only thing that can clear a haunting is love'

in the dream house by carmen maria machado. god probably the best prose i've read all year. a really beautiful but bittersweet autobiographical novel about a bisexual woman's experience with a fucked up abusive relationship and how subtle abuse can be. heavy subject matter but handled soooo beautifully.

the only good indians by stephen graham jones. WHEW. this is a horror......and this book will take you for a fucking ride i'll tell you that. its abt a group of native american men who were childhood friends and due to one mistake they're all haunted by...something that wants to get revenge on them. this book had me going 'DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?' multiple times

[issacballsac]

Oficie[Doppo Kannonzaka]

01 Train Station

06:00

I peeled back my eyes to reveal the time I dreaded ever since I took on the job of a payable clerk.

"Get up [f/n] you got work today!" You mentally prepared yourself. Like always.

Finally disconnecting from your one true love, your bed; to shower and put on some appropriate clothes for work.

Without a moments gaze you swiftly skipped over breakfast. Walking out the door with nothing but yourself and, of course, your office bag, which held all the essentials like: your phone, headphones, apartment key etc.

"If I get to the office early I can get some peace and quiet to assort the expenses all while being able to stop for coffee." You quietly mumbled to yourself, planning out your morning.

07:15

"I do have time to stop for coffee!" Your legs contradicted your time as you began pushing the small store door open. Breathing in the scent of fresh coffee beans before stepping to the counter to order.

"May I have one espresso please". You politely asked the nearest barista.

The brunette nodded and walked away from the counter to make the order.

"That will be 200¥." The barista pleaded.

You handed the young worker the money before walking out the door constantly checking your watch.

“I’m gonna be late I’m gonna be late….”

07:35

Finally boarding the train with your coffee securely in hand you heaved out a sigh. "Just in time."

Not many people were on the train so you decided to sit down next to a red headed man. He was dressed in a black suit and striped shirt. He looked way more tired than you could ever be.

"Um excuse me sir". You poked him a bit in an attempt to grab his attention while not being rude.

He peeled his eyes open to look at you before noticing you gesturing towards the warm beverage you strained yourself over getting.

The redhead smiled a bit before accepting the drink with a small bow of his head.

"Thank you very much." He said sipping on it without a second thought of your intentions or lack there of.

As much as it pained you to give away all the energy you bought for the long day at the office it made you happy that you got to see someone else happy.

"My name is [l/n] [f/n] what's yours?" You said trying to make small talk on the train ride.

He peered from the coffee to respond with his name "Kannonzaka Doppo."

"I like your name though I think I heard it somewhere y'know like those famous rap battles but that's just a guess."

"Mn where did you get this?" He questioned skillfully avoiding the topic.

"Ah that small cafe a couple blocks away from the station it's called Eunoi Cafè."

Just then the train stopped signaling for you to get off and head to work. "This is my stop Doppo" You nudged him.

"Oh me too." He stood up.

"How convenient let's go!" You pulled him along with yourself out of the train.

The two of you walked together with a constant exchange of questioning looks at each other. Since he's been going the same way as your office.

"Weird question but you don’t happen to work at an office do you? Specifically [insert company name] inc?"

"Yeah I was heading there why?" He looked at you before processing that fully.

"Wow we work at the same place and take the same train you can be my morning friend Doppo-mine!" You perked up lively.

"Ah please don't call me that but I guess" He said recalling memories of that nickname.

"Damn, sorry. Anyways let's go we're early so quiet office before everyone floods in." You scrunched your nose in disgust. Thinking of the packed office, yuck.

He followed you willingly into the building.

"I'm on the bottom finance floor what about you?"

"Ah I'm towards the top with data sheets, marketing and such." He said with an even more gloomy than usual tone.

"It's alright I'll come see you after work and we can go to the cafe. I know how stressful this job can get." You exchanged information with him.

"That sounds nice thank you [l/n]. He smiled.

"It's nothing, and you can call me by my first name y’know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah don’t worry about it, but for now let’s just enjoy our floors while they’re still quiet.”

“See you?” He awkwardly waved to you as the elevator doors closed. Forcefully ending your bonding time.

[wolfstones]

lifw

so much has happened and i havent had it in me to post here or on @gxrlcrxmb

My ldr partner of almost 5 years passed away a month ago. im fucking devastated. I love them so much. I will miss them forever. everything reminds me of them

I got a new partner and have been dating them (still with my nesting partner / spouse of almost 12 years) for 4 months.

i got promoted at my retail job from sales to management, specifically im the training and development leader and have been transferred to a new store that ia closing in a month and ill be sent somewhere else. this is both exciting and terrifying.

my chronic back pain is so bad i have to take 25-35mg of oxy plus 240mg of codeine to function

we are so broke (hopefully my. slightly higher paycheck will help a bit)

i still havent had my australian adhd assesment/dx (which i got in the states but i have to be rediagnosed in this country to access medication) and it costs 1k$ for the assesment

my phone aucks, i need a new one but we have to move house first

i cant sleep most nights. luckily i have modafinil script. but its expensive as fuck. i'm so full of so much anxiety all the time.

[thegoldencontracts]

100 Followers!

Hi! I've reached a hundred followers recently, and I know that it may seem minor to some people, but I'm very happy to see I've gotten this far, and thank you to anyone who followed me. I appreciate it, truly.

So, to celebrate, I'd like to try out a new way of writing fics!

You can interact with the characters. But, because I'm a fic-lover, this operates a bit different (not better, just in my own style of course!) in the way the RP works.

Before I continue any further, I know some of you may not be interested, and I don't want to end up annoying you due to dash clog! So, here's the tag to block if you don't want to see any of this - #100 follower special <3

If you are - or think you might be - interested, here's how it works.

You send in an ask addressing a character of your choosing. You can put in as much or as little content as you'd like! If you'd like to RP as an OC of yours, you can send any necessary context in the ask or just DM me. Same goes if you'd like me to make a small interaction involving an AU you have.

You can even RP as a canon character for either romantic or platonic ficlets with other characters! So, if you have a rare pair (hello fellow azurido lovers please hear me out), consider coming to me and giving me a chance for a little bit of extra content with them <3.

Of course, this isn't just for rare pairs - any ship can be done, provided it isn't unethical or illegal (no staff x student, no grim x anyone, etc).

After receiving your ask, I'll make a small ficlet where the character you're sending an ask to responds in whatever fashion you'd like! If you'd like to extend

Example (if my wording is awkward or hard:

If I want to send an ask involving my OC Cecaelia in my Part Of Your World AU, I can do something like this:

(OOC: This is my not-so-OC Cecaelia. She's actually Azul from the future who time travelled to stop the apocalypse. I'd like her to have a friendly, comedic interaction with Deuce. This takes place shortly after Deuce finds out chicken eggs in stores can't hatch eggs, from her POV.)

"Ah, Deuce. You still seem rather forlorn. Is this truly about those chicken eggs?"

And I'll Answer:

Deuce simply remained silent, a blank look on his face.

"The chickens..."

"They couldn't have been born," Azul said. As his hand hit his chest, eliciting a high level of pain, he couldn't help but rue his feminine form.

"I can't believe it," Deuce said, head in his hands. Azul quickly realized his current strategy wasn't going to work.

"I know," Azul said, before hastily pulling out a slice of tart Grim had foisted upon him. He still didn't understand why, considering the little monster's love for food. "Why don't you have a tart to drown your sorrows?"

Deuce looked at him wide-eyed.

"Really?"

Azul nodded.

"Thanks!"

And as Deuce munched on the tart, sorrows forgotten, Azul had to celebrate a job well done.

Of course, you definitely don't have to elaborate that much. This is just for if you want something really specific, because I can fulfill your requests better if I know what you want! Interactions will be available for any characters, and like I've said, have little to no limitations so long as you're not doing NSFW, Yandere, or a ship that's staff x student, anyone x grim, or the like. OCs, pairings you have, AUs,talk to Baby!Azul, the sky's the limit!

Also the fake interaction ask I made was a bit rushed, so I can assure you, the actual interactions will probably be better.

Last note: If you're feeling shy or confused on how to start, just rb this post asking for more context or clarification and I'll DM you to work out the details! Honestly, I'm just thankful if anyone decides to give this little event a chance, so I want to make it as easy and rewarding as possible!

[cursedbanalities]

✨Sometimes, I can’t help but remember things.✨

(A Horror Story WiP)

If you knew me, you’d laugh in my face if I told you that. Despite being an extremely forgetful person, I have a knack for remembering the strangest things. Some of it is useful, like actor’s names, song titles, or credit card numbers. Then… not so much. Things that I don’t know need in my life, like old commercials (not jingles, full-on commercials) or the complete ingredient list of Cap’n Crunch cereal.

At first, this helped me out in school. I would read something and regurgitate it onto a page up to a week later. Then, my interest waned. Grades started to slip in everything that I wasn’t completely interested in. It was even worse in college, when I struggled to keep even a 2.0 grade average for my near-meaningless English degree. I couldn’t keep anything useful in my head, at least according to school and most of my significant others. Though, I finally managed to find something that worked well for me:

Pizza making!

At first I thought I was above it. Here I was, a fancy college graduate ready to change the world; I couldn’t stoop to the levels of pizza making! This may have been the only job that I had gotten a response from— most other places I sent my resume to responded almost instantly with a rejection, sure, but I know that my artistic values are wasted on a trivial task like making pizzas!

But then, something miraculous happened. I started to remember everything about my job. Our specialty pizzas, customer’s orders, specific cleaning protocols, everything. At first, I tried to fight my growing fondness of the job, pushing it deep inside me. On a particularly busy day, however, our printer went down. Despite the near constant onslaught of pizzas, I was able to remember the exact order of it all— even when ten families in a row came through our line. There was a certain rush to exceeding expectations that I grew to love, and it helped that my manager is the type of person who recognized that. He quickly promoted me to assistant manager, and we’ve been able to keep an extremely tight ship together. He’s laid back, and I’m there to help remind him and the others on what is expected to help the restaurant run better.

So, here I am. A manager at Eugene’s Pizza, finally accepting the banalities of life and diving headfirst into a pool of mediocrity. I’ve been happy, regardless. I was able to get this decently-paying job at a resort city on the coast of one of the Great Lakes. I'm accompanied by an adorable orange tabby cat, and I have a computer to accommodate my many hobbies. Besides another person to share the space with, what more could a girl want? Even when my car took a shit hard enough to cost six-month’s rent in mechanic bills, I was lucky to live close enough to my workplace to be able to walk. So, I began a daily pilgrimage to my job, walking thirty minutes to and from. With headphones, it made the walk feel like nothing. After months of doing this, I was able to almost run to the store and back without breaking a sweat. Though, months of realizing I still didn’t make enough for a car (despite the saved money on gas) weighed heavily on me. Soon, the snow will begin to fall. Either I’ll have to walk through the snow and ice– through mild snowstorms, as well– or start asking for rides and slowly lose my built ability to walk as quickly as I have.

Like a ball tossed from the top of a mountain, October rolled into November before I had a chance to search for a car; I found myself walking down a street on my way back home from work. I was the last person in the store by a couple of hours, so there was no hope of getting a ride home from any of my co-workers. Besides, I had been putting on a few extra pounds from constantly eating the food I helped make, so I felt like I needed the exercise. My feet throbbed from the day of work. It felt like every single nerve was firing off at once, complaining about the agonizing pain they’re in; or like I was bleeding and my shoes were slowly filling with blood, and every step I took was another agonizing wave of blood ready to explode out of my shoes. My sides and back shared a similar lament, with pain like daggers stabbing into my sides. The cold air didn’t help, feeling like needles puncturing my lungs. I slid a little on a bit of snow— a flurry of snow came the night before and some still clung to the sidewalk. For every moment I spent out in this cold autumn weather, the more I longed to get back home, to snuggle with my cat and drink a frothy glass of beer while watching cartoons.

But then, I rounded a corner and saw a woman standing under a street light. A man stood in front of her with his back to me, caressing her cheek. She wore a black felt pea coat and had blonde hair that shone in the yellowish light; he was in a black trench coat and a brimmed hat. It looked like something out of an old movie, like two lovers sharing a romantic embrace at the end of some cheesy 40’s romance, and I couldn’t help but let curiosity overcome me. I gazed at the scene as I walked closer to them.

As I got closer, though, my mood swiftly changed. The woman was shaking, and had a strange look of panic. I saw the man’s grip tighten around her face, nails digging into her cheeks. She yelped a little bit, and I saw her jump.

I froze in place. This was weird. I felt my stomach beginning to tie itself into knots, and I reached my bag for my pepper spray. My apartments were just another block directly past them, and with the amount of pain in my feet I wanted to get there as soon as I possibly could. Besides, if I saw him pull anything else, I’d at least either protect myself or even save a woman from having a man creep on her. I breathe in, and grip my pepper spray tight before looking back up at the woman and man.

The girl’s face was that of absolute pleasure as tentacles, sprouting from the man’s trench coat, left trails of thick, green slime on her face. Her hair was a mess as the tentacles gripped all parts of her face and neck. I blinked, not believing my eyes. The man had completely changed while I dug in my purse for a weapon. Yet, despite this horrifying change, I walked on. It was involuntary, as I was mostly trying to decipher whether what I was seeing was even real. There was an impossible amount of wriggling limbs coming out of his coat, some began to explore down her body and into any crevices they found. The wind picked up, blowing towards my face. There was a smell of rotting meat coming from them, with smells similar to the sea mixed in. The woman’s pleasure began to produce small shrieks from her, which the tentacle-man quickly resolved by flooding her mouth with his wriggling suction cups. They explored her nose and ears as well, and her face of pleasure quickly turned to that of pain and horror as the man’s tentacles began to push out through her eye sockets, wiping over her stark, blue eyes…

I let out a scream, finally snapping out of my daze. This was real. This woman was in danger. Hell, I was in danger. I started to back away, planning to run down the street and jump over some fences to get away from this nightmare. Once the man turned around and saw me, however, I froze in place. I could see his face— or rather, the thing attracted to it that resembled most like a face. I don’t know if I truly understood what I saw that night. Maybe I was dreaming or just ate some really bad food or something, but I swear to god that the only thing under that man’s coat was a writhing ball of tentacles. A dark green mass— almost black— constantly writhing and making these disgusting slapping and slurping noises. I was so in awe by what I saw, I just stood there as he kept walking towards me, his feet… or, tentacles, I guess? They kept making these horrible wet slaps with every step, like a wet, sticky noodle. He was extremely hot, too. His heat radiated off of him like coals in a fire. It made me sweat, and every step in the snow shot a steamy mist into the air. The man’s stench brought tears to my eyes, my stomach churned with every step closer to me. Under the writhing tentacles, I saw eyes. I didn’t count, but they were all an orangish-yellow and constantly kept moist by the tentacles wiping over them with their viscous, green fluids. Some of them were gray with cataracts, but the ones that weren’t were locked on to me, piercing my soul with something otherworldly. Once it got a couple of yards away from me I looked down and saw what remained of that poor, poor woman. Her eyes were gone, hell, most of her face was gone! There was a bloody red cavity where her nose and eyes should have been, her mouth still hung agape in shock. When I looked at the man-shaped mass, I could’ve sworn I saw her blue eyes somewhere in the mass of tentacles, lost in a sea of filth. I turned and booked it once I locked eyes with them. I flew down the streets in a panic, likely screaming and spouting whatever gibberish managed to work its way up my throat and out my mouth. My sanity was at its breaking point, but I was somehow able to make it back home despite myself. My lungs felt ragged, my clothes stuck to me from the sweat. The memory clung to my mind. Despite my efforts to remove myself from its claws, it kept replaying in my mind. I was finally home, but I felt anything but safe.

***

[[this is a little bit of something I wrote after a little breakdown I had. I started out just writing to get my feelings out, but I ended with this. I pictured this as an intro to the story, with a person telling this story to detectives or something. Unfortunately, I’ve never gotten any inspiration, and any attempts at furthering the plot got me no where. Hopefully this short story is enjoyable :)

[aquz]

Hi!! saw ur blog while bored on tumblr and saw u write for pjsk. so i want to request going on a shopping date with mizuki!! thank you if you do accept the request <3

shopping with mizuki !

platonic or romantic, gender neutral reader, fairly short, clothing shopping to be specific • mizuki takes reader shopping

mizuki, with your hand interlaced with theirs, led you into a store with a smile on their face. "you said you wanted something nice to wear for our outing with the rest of nightcord, right? this store has awesome stuff! a bunch of different styles too!" they gleamed.

you looked around in awe, the store covered top to bottom in many different styles of outfits, some cutesy while others were edgy. you didn't even mizuki had let go of your hand. they picked up a nice shirt from a nearby rack, the bottom and sleeves decorated in lace. "is this too formal for you? i know we're only going to karaoke but this seems fine to me!" the quickly put it back before you could respond. "actually, it's white. what if you get it dirty? that's a pain to clean..."

you nodded in agreement, snapped out of your trance. "how about we check the clearance racks? bound to be something good there for a nice price... i don't know how often ill wear these clothes, aha..." you suggested before mizuki shook their head, taking your hands in theirs. "absolutely not! i'm helping pay, remember? with your allowance and the money i made at work, we could buy something super cute! it's only what you deserve, [name]! let's look at another rack." mizuki let go of your hands and motioned you to move to the rack behind them.

"here, they have more stuff! less frills and lace, more focus on graphics and comfort! do you like anything here?" mizuki asked, pulling out random streetwear shirts for you to see. "they're nice but... they don't speak to me, you know?" you said thoughtfully; mizuki gave you a thumbs up. "that's okay! we still have an entire store left! and a bunch more! the mall is pretty big!"

you thought about the mall a little before moving to make your next decisions. an hour or so passed and you had managed to find a few outfits that you liked. in the changing room, you tried everything on as mizuki stood outside waiting to comment or help. eventually, you walked out in the final outfit you picked out. casual but not too casual, cute but not over-the-top, comfy. mizuki clapped their hands and bounced on their toes. "ah! it's perfect! it fits your personality and style, and the colors look so satisfying!" mizuki gushed, making you rub your neck in embarrassment.

"you think so?" you sighed with a smile, tired from all the dressing up. you did a spin to show mizuki the back and retreated back into the changing room to get back into your original clothes. "mizuki, i did the math.. the clothes cost almost 7000 yen... are you sure that's okay? i have..." you stopped just outside the changing room to pull your wallet out of your bag, holding the clothes in one hand. mizuki took your clothes from you.

"of course it is! i already said i would help pay, right? that means no matter how much! i do prettyyyy good at my job so of course i make a reasonable amount~!" mizuki fake pouted as if you suggested they didn't make a lot of cash. "if you insist... i don't know how to repay you..." you started by mizuki shushed you by putting a finger to their lips.

"don't worry about it, you've been working so hard recently and you need a nice break, so let me treat you okay? no payment required on your part! plus, you stuck around me this long, no? that's enough payment for me!" mizuki said, suddenly becoming genuine and ... almost thoughtful when they pointed out how long you two had been friends, "cmon! let's pay and go meet up at the diner with ena and mafuyu! kanade will be there when she gets done visiting her dad!"

you smiled and nodded, following mizuki. what a lovely day this was going to be, and who better to spend the majority of it with than mizuki?

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

KOREA HAS A PROBLEM I mean they have several problems like every country I guess but they have a very specific issue with the haircuts, what the fuck is going on? I don't remember the last time I saw a male idol and I thought, "yes this is a 10/10 styling, I wouldn't change a thing", I mean, for example, I do love taemin's natural hair right now but the last time I saw him on a schedule (I think at KCON?) his hairdo made him look like he was lost in the lights and not in a good way. Worst thing is that taeyong and ten had the exact same hairstyle AND NONE OF THEM LOOK GOOD. NONE. Do every single one of them have to hop on the ugliest trend possible? Is it illegal not to do so? Do the stylist get punished backstage if they try something that's not trendy at the moment? Jimin has been carrying that haircut for months now, boy do you really like it that much? And I don't even know what's that JK has going on at this point. And speaking of jimin... I don't know what to say anymore, whoever styles him for dior and tiffany... what are they even doing? Do they see how cunty the man is and then proceed to give him the blandest outfit possible? Maybe pjms should hire a private investigator to see if there's someone from tedros' team behind all of this trying to sabotage jimin and make tedros look like he's outcunting jimin

Careful anon, you don't want to spread unfounded rumos about Tedros and some possible evil scheme.

Unfortunately, we are living in the era of mullets again and we just have to power through. I'm all here for recycling trends from the past, intertextuality, but some things need to disappear completely or become a distant, painful memory. Like the mullet.

Why is it back? Why? 😭 Taemin's hairstyle wasn't even that bad at KCon. I'd say it was among the "best", if such a term would apply in this context. I just need it to be over. I had hopes of the Dora haircut at least to become a trend, particularly how JK looked for the CK ads, but no, they want fucking mullets. I do hate them with a passion, in case it wasn't obvious already.

As for Jimin, I'm not gonna complain too much about how he's styled for Tiffany because it's not half bad. And the Dior suit he wore in April at the store opening may have been a simple look, but he looked good (the lack of shirt helped).

I think we need to understand/accept that as an ambassador, his job is to represent the brand and show off the clothes. It doesn't matter that it doesn't represent him. Just look at Tedros and what he's dressed like with Celine items. It's the same. What I don't understand, and perhaps it's my lack of knowledge, it's why the stylists don't get more creative? Jimin's outfit today was the exact one from the runway. From head to toe (I think). Is that how it's supposed to be? They can't take items from the entire latest collection and see what item goes with another to create an new outfit, all made out of Dior pieces?

[queen-tashie]

OC 15 Questions

Tagged by @mrbexwrites, thanks!!

I'm going to answer this for Dr. Amelia Roch, the main character of Copper Frames!

Are you named after anyone?

No

2. When was the last time you cried?

When I watched all my patients die of the incurable, anti-biotic resistant bacteria.

3. Do you have kids?

No

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

No, I prefer to speak plainly

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their expressions and body language. I have a knack for seeing and understanding chronic conditions, whether physical or emotional. Being physically disabled and having chronic pain because of it, I know what that looks like in others.

6. What’s your eye color?

A warm brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. Scary movies put me on edge, they keep me up at night

8. Any special talents?

Empathy for my patients and their conditions, mild or severe. I've also been told I'm a good problem solver.

9. Where were you born?

Terati, where all of my family lives! [AN: this is alternate Earth Italy and surrounding regions]

10. What are your hobbies?

Visiting with friends, reading non-fiction, sometimes (rarely) I get the urge to bake or knit, but I've never been any good at either (I don't practice them enough).

11. Have you any pets?

Not since I moved to Kremenskyi [AN: this is alternate Earth Ukraine and surrounding regions] but I had a couple cats growing up before I went to university.

12.What sports do you play/have played?

A few school sports, nothing serious, soccer for a few years, cricket for one.

13.How tall are you?

157cm on a good day (about 5'2")

13. Favorite subject in school?

Science, and more specifically, biology and chemistry. I pursued a Biology Ph.D. and specialized in medical epidemiology. Then when I felt it was time for me to do something new, I became a General Practitioner and opened a clinic.

14.Dream job?

Oh, that's a tough one. I quite like what I do now as a GP, but there are days when I miss my old research. I briefly had a dream before university to be a theatre actor, however, so perhaps that.

(question 15 was missing from the post I was tagged in so I'm adding one here)

15.Favourite food?

There are so many delicious Teratian and Kremenskyian foods I love, but I never get tired of pierogi. There's a neighbour in my apartment that makes and sells them. Much cheaper than the grocery store, too!

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

honestly, one of the worst group job interviews I ever did (minus the one where I accidentally made a vague sex joke in front of 60 people mid assessment day) was when I applied for a youth clothing store that also has a spin-off quirky millenial and gen z hipster stationery store (aussies will know exactly what retail chain im talking about lmao).

anyway. first of all, for this shitty retail job, I had to go all the way to southern sydney (where I don't live- specifically the suburb of Miranda) to go to the assessment centre at the local RSL club (which meant I had nice food at the end which was a win).

but GOD. when they filed us into the assessment room to split us into groups, we had to file in in a CONGA line where the people leading the interview had party poppers and streamers and we had to show our "party loving vibes and down to have fun boss bitch attitude!!!"

like gina and ross, for the LOVE OF FUCK. we're selling shitty over-priced clothes that should be really be sold at $5 a piece (ie what we make them for in bulk in bangladesh) instead of $50 for a pair of fucking yoga/activewear leggings (even if they ARE really comfy). we harass people at the counter to buy a $2 enviro canvas bag for our charity.... and back in the day, it was the bottled water. like hell I'm dancing into an interview in a fucking conga line, for the LOVE of god.

and plus, ironically, NEVER have I once had someone be this horrendously PERKY in store. hell, half the time there's only EVER one store clerk in the ENTIRE mega store or separate store, depending on which shop you're in. or maybe there's two people, but the other person's in the back. very occasionally, yes, they'll ask you about your day and help you style an outfit. but other than that, they never talk to you until you get to the counter.

WHY must we prance around in a CONGA line with streamers and be our "best perky selves" to sell FRIENDS or h**** p***** or some other 90s/2000s branded shit??? to sell strawberry scented spray hand sanitiser and face masks???? to sell a mini desk vacuum or a laptop stand??? to sell shitty jeans that rip after one wear (a testimonial from my friend that used to work there while we were in uni)???

like I obvs didn't get the job at this store bc my feedback on the day was "you're just not PERKY enough to bring the *insert the business here* brand alive in store to give our customers a positive, energetic, down to earth, spontaneous and fun loving immersive experience for our brand and charity!!!" like no shit. you made me travel nearly 2 hours by car, and go to my wits end with sydney parking and driving (I accidentally made my dad go up a one-way street..... the wrong way).... I'm tired as ALL hell just getting here.... for an interview that could've been SO EASILY conducted at my local fucking shopping centre for the local stores in my area. of course I'm not going to be too thrilled about acting like a fucking clown during this assessment centre.

like I get this brand did this assessment centre in sydney bc like "it's where head office is" or whatever the fuck. but my god. travelling to sydney from where I am, is a pain in the fucking ass. just conduct it locally, in my area, so I have more chance of being perky. but also. this "be perky and fun loving, dance in a conga line" bullshit for an interview, just feels like a spectacle that I have no energy for. just conduct the outfit selling and styling portion and make me watch the BS brand/company video and call it a day.

[dokoyukuno]

grief

on sunday night i found out my friend died. she was in the hospital for an extended period for treatment regarding a mass in her lungs. it wasn't cancerous, but she still needed radiotherapy and was getting better. excited to go home soon enough, tweeting less but the last time was just like any other time. and then, sunday night, our friend recieved the news from one of her relatives that she passed away. i was in my kitchen making a grim microwave meal, looking at my phone to waste time and then my eyes flared when i saw it.

i closed twitter, took my food to my room and ate it while watching a youtube documentary about typography.

everything anyone has ever said about the stages of grief is real. i thought i wasn't in denial because i didn't think "no, that's not true", but i was denying my feelings because of the sheer shock. how could anyone read that and just take it in instantly, as if it was any other fact? i didn't know what to say. i didn't know what to do either, so i finished my food. i could feel the synapses in my brain changing shape, twisting around one another and just whittled out an "i don't know what to say" while others around me were breaking down.

even though it's only been a few days, i don't really remember the specifics of what we all said at first. lots of people said they were crying, lots of people were asking questions and lots of people were trying their best to support one another. i thought i was handling it well; in spite of the sinking feeling slowly dragging away at every cell in my body, immediately thought about something nice. myrna always had amazing hair and would dye it bright colours, so i thought maybe i should do something like that, even if i won't look as good as her. i didn't say it but i thought maybe she'd go on a small rant about dye brands if i asked her too, and a friend said something simililar.

what tore me asunder was when her favourite idol replied to one of her tweets saying rest in peace. i looked at her likes too, and she had to have searched the phrase "myrna" to find a lot of the tweets she intereacted with. i started sobbing. i couldn't stop and all i could feel was anger and sadness together. i haven't stopped feeling them, even if i'm more stable today than i was then.

i had maybe 4, 5 hours of sleep because i just kept refreshing twitter to see what people were saying. even if a lot of us didn't talk to myrna one on one that much, she was so loved as a person. her adamance and enthusiasm about every little thing she did was so infectious, and when she wasn't jumping right into things, she would just keep talking about them until that new thing became apart of her. a lot of people just... loved that. even in a small way, it was just nice to be exposed to. our interests are niche, so finding somebody that absorbed into them was like finding a rare bird.

i had to go to work the next day. i didn't want to. i work at one of the roughest convenience stores in south london, so the prospect of dealing with every crackhead carl and coked up cathy in addition to my shitty coworkers was... less appealing than usual. i felt catatonic. everything about me was made up of pain and anger, but when i wasn't sobbing, i wasn't anything. my eyes were glossy, my face was blank and my gaze lowered. that evening i had to deal with an old man throwing a tantrum over me giving him a scottish £5 ("i don't want this" "why, they're legal tender" "i know, i just don't want it. give me another one" "what the fuck is wrong with you?" and then i handed him 10 50p coins out of spite and he left), a drunk man who kept changing his mind about how many bottles of cheap cider he wanted, and my coworker that's just all around a nasty guy. i felt like a shambling corpse.

i got out at 11pm and walked to the train station in silence with my shift manager. "you were so bad at your job today, what happened? you were fine the last time we worked together." "i'm thinking about many things right now. i can't say the same for the other people that work here." when we got there, i said that i was going to take the bus to save money tonight instead of going with him. not technically a lie, but the second he couldn't see me, i just sat at the construction site next to the station and started weeping. a friend messaged me and we affirmed one another, but for about an hour, all i did was cry and chainsmoke (vaping).

i walked to london bridge, messaged my singular friend (romantic interest who i'd stopped speaking to for a while because after we agreed to be just friends, he said some insensitive things) in town. i wasn't expecting him to drop everything to come see me on a monday night but... all i wanted was a hug. just something from a kind person. no more text, no coldness or venom from the general public or coworkers, just a hug. of course, we just texted while i sat on a bench. he tried his best, but everything that he said was just cliche and unhelpful. shambling corpse shambled home, shambled into bed.

i slept almost all of the next day. i had work today and felt like shit but could maintain the facade of being a person instead of just being unreactive.

you could say that i'm more stable, but i'm not better. i'm still mourning. i'm still angry. i don't want to say that it's not fair because fairness has nothing to do with it. the sorrow and rage inside of me are obviously over her, but there's also no meaning to them. they just simply exist. i'm proud of everyone around me for maintaining themselves, even if they're all hurting, some in ways i can't comprehend. but... well, like i said, everything anyone has ever said about grief is true. i've been reading about it more, just trying to understand how long i'm going to feel like this for. and well, forever it seems. i won't always be jack-knifing between catatonic and hysterical, but apparantly, it never leaves. i've changed. we all have

currently, i am cold and shorter with people. i don't know if that facet is one thing that will just be apart of me now and quite frankly, i don't care. the cold i feel isn't like i've just held ice up to myself, but shock from a warmth ripped away. a warmth that i didn't even know was there. a warmth that, while she was alive, i wouldn't describe as such. the warmth of contentment, a gentle heat that you experience every day, because there's a positive person in your life. one that has now left.

i've said goodbye, i've left condolences and i've cried endlessly, so i don't know how to finish this writing. i don't know why i wrote this either. i don't think it's selfish to talk about myself and my experiences because no shit, we all experience things through our own lens. but i don't want sympathy, i want people to think about myrna instead. i want people to carry her passion with them and not look at the trapped animal gnawing at it's cage. a cage i now live in. a cage that is now part of me.

i myself want to carry parts of her with me with greater importance. i'd always wanted to emulate that passion of hers, but now it feels like i have to! so with as much gusto as i can, i'll do my best. we didn't speak much one on one to begin with, so maybe the way i'm acting, if she could see it, would weird her out a little. maybe that makes it a little funny. but if nothing else, i think seeing how much she's touched everyone and made our lives better would make her happy.