#I love my dad so much this was fucking hilarious

[aliceisaperson]

Ok so my dad just told me that earlier today he remembered a Starkid actor had a real name that sounded like a fake name and he could not for the life of him remember what it was and for some reason the name “Joe Humungous” kept coming into his head. He eventually figured out he was thinking of Curt Mega.

[d-1hater]

More Low Quality Memes of a High Quality Movie

I fucking love Across the Spiderverse with my whole existence

I just think Hobie fits this so well so there are several, I am not sorry. I love him

[cuteniaarts]

Me, six-ish hours ago: Yeah, I had the idea for an Avatar Suiren AU pretty much as long as Suiren herself existed, but idk if I'm ever gonna develop it, it's really hard to upkeep interest for it on my own...

Me, as soon as the concept of Suiren and Vaatu bullying Raava together popped into my head while I was typing out that long ass post: Fuck it, new strain of brain fungus acquired–

(Also yeah traditional art being posted for the first time since... 2020, probably. Don't have the spoons to transfer this to digital rn, maybe I will at some point and I'll do a fuckass Spirit World background or smth. We'll see)

First time drawing Vaatu so don't make fun of me, but honestly he's such a funky little guy and rather fun to draw. You just get that main shape down and then go nuts with the frills :) But also, credit where credit is due, scrolling through the Vaatu tag on @shadelorde’s blog really helped, so thank you for that 😊 And I really had no idea what to do with Suiren’s design here, I think I’ve used up all my character design juices on the nine previous iterations of her that exist, so for now she’s in a random dress with her hair down. I’ll probably alter it if I ever do a proper design for her in this verse

[erinwantstowrite]

Halloween AU!!!

hey so. i put SOOOOO much effort into this au and for what? at least it ended up looking cool? anyways Halloween is my favorite holiday and i just HAD to make something for them!

i had a LOT of ideas for what everyone would be, but i really wanted to stick to a certain theme cause it's based around Halloween. i knew i had to have a vampire, werewolf, and a witch. cause like... obviously. iconic Halloween stuff!! but i took some liberties with everyone else and i think they turned out pretty cool!!

Jason was originally a fox shifter (which i still love and might draw art for some day) but i went with a bear in the end. is that because i thought about tiny bear cub Jaybin and wanted to cry? yeah. yeah it is. i KNEW Steph was going to be my werewolf though i started doubting myself when i went to draw her. turned out to be my favorite drawing on here which makes sense cause she is my light my love my daughter my will to live and all that jazz

Tim was actually gonna be a harpy but thank god i didn't go for that in the end. Duke was the one that was a bitch and a half trying to figure out BUT!! comments on the post asking what y'all thought led me towards Psychic so THANK YOUUUU everybody that commented!! (specifically those who thought of ghost!! Duke and Tim ended up being a perfect duo in this au)

Babs was pretty easy to figure out what I wanted for her. I read somewhere that they are seen as protectors of forests/ are considered spiritual authority figures and also.... she looks cool as fuck. Did not expect how easy it was to find a ref for a deer in a wheelchair though? I can never find the right hand or face angle reference but that was super easy???

For Bruce there was literally no question he HAD to be human. it's literally so funny that everyone who knows Batman thinks he's a spooky vampire but he's human. his first son, however?????? THAT'S the vampire. I knew Dick had to be a vampire too. A little nod towards that one comic run but in my au nothing bad happens ever 🥰 Damian also being a bat shifter is very on purpose because how funny is it that he's a bat man. Literally not a single person in the League thinks that Bruce is telling the truth about being human. Bruce you are NOT beating the secretly a vampire allegations.

adding in Jay's hilarious joke it's so fucking funny:

Alfred is actually a demon. I CAN NOT remember who made this post so if someone can help me find it, it would be appreciated!! because this was inspired by them!!! but somewhere i saw someone talk about Alfred being a demon that Thomas and Martha made a deal with (i think it was for an au idea?) and I just HAD to put it here. Alfred looks so human and everyone expects it, but he's definitely not. I put the ??? because it's so fucking funny. see if you can spot the 1 hint i put on his drawing that something is amiss!!

Peter is from an alternate dimension still, but it is not a world of creatures like him, it's just the same as LoF canon except Peter grew some extra limbs and eyes. He finds that it's actually pretty easy to fit in with the Waynes. Hard to feel like a freak when a guy can turn into a fucking bear, or your dad is a vampire, and the teenagers in the family are trying to summon ghosts or make potions.

additional doodles for this au:

i am still debating whether i am going to draw something for this au or write a oneshot, but i DO want to do something with these for Halloween

[slttygeto]

༉‧₊˚. "Shut up, mom!" prank with JJK men.

➜ featuring: nanami kento, gojo satoru, geto suguru.

➜synopsis: your child(ren) has a death wish for sure.

➜note: wasn't able to pick a name for nanami's child. also sorry to the anon who sent this, i had a hard time understanding the request at first. anyway, part 2?

༉‧₊˚. reblog + comment!

༉‧₊˚. NANAMI KENTO

“You need to start learning how to fold your clothes,” you mention casually to your daughter as you carry a basket of warm laundry to the couch.

“Why would I do that?” Nanami’s eyes look up from his book, but he doesn’t budge.

“When you move out, you will only have yourself to rely on,” you continue with the advice and your daughter rolls her eyes as she makes her way to the kitchen.

“Ugh moving out this, moving out that. Just say you want to get rid of me.”

“What–I would never, I’m just reminding you that one day you will become an adult and–”

“Oh just shut up, mom!” 

You truly gave birth to a mini you, a prankster. When you first saw the tiktok trend, you and your daughter had giggled to yourselves at the thought of getting a reaction out of her father. Though, you did warn her of the repercussions. Your husband did not play when it came to showing respect to you.

“I beg your pardon?” Nanami sits up from the couch so fast, it almost makes you jump out of your skin. You don’t have time to react, or hold him back before he is storming towards the kitchen where your teenage daughter was hiding. “What did you just say to your mother?”

“I said shut up, because she was bothering me.”

“And you think that’s one way to speak to my wife?” You see his eyebrows furrow, he even slams the book he was reading down on the kitchen counter so hard that his arm veins are about to pop out.

“Kento,” you walk up behind him, calling out his name softly.

“No, let me take this.”

“No baby listen–”

“I said I will take this.” It’s only when he repeats himself in a stern manner, that your daughter starts to giggle nervously.

“Daddy, it was a prank.”

“Yeah, baby it’s a prank.” You rub his shoulders and biceps reassuringly. Your daughter quickly wraps her arms around his waist and buries her face in his chest.

“I’d never be disrespectful like that.”

“Yeah well, it almost gave me a heart attack,” his voice is now much softer and warmer as he exhales, running his fingers through his daughter’s hair. He pulls you towards him and kisses your forehead before patting his daughter’s head.

“Now, whose idea was it?”

“Mommy’s.”

“Hey!” 

༉‧₊˚. GOJO SATORU

“Hey Ryuu, could you take out the trash please?” 

“No, I’m busy.” Satoru’s ears perk up at the sound of his son’s tone. But he doesn’t budge from where he’s standing in the kitchen.

“Baby, it’s been sitting there all day and it’s full. Could you please–”

“Shut up, mom. I said I’m busy.”

Normally, Satoru wasn’t easy to rile up. His relationship with his son was hilarious, one where he doted on his child whilst the latter pretended as though he couldn’t stand all the love and affection he received from his dad. But despite all the love that Satoru had for his son, you were number one. You come first, you are his wife and the mother of his child. When his son will leave, you will be the one he gets to spend the rest of his time with–and when he decided to marry you, a child wasn’t even in the picture.

So he will be damned if he was just going to stand there and let his son talk to you like that.

You freeze when you feel a sudden surge of cursed energy–you knew your husband when he got angry, it clouded over the rational part of his brain. So when you see him start to walk upstairs where his son is, you have to physically grab his arm to stop him. Thank god the infinity was off.

“Satoru– toru! Baby!”

“Who the fuck does he think he is, huh?” His eyes are glowing. You really shouldn’t have played this prank on him.

“It’s a prank baby.” 

“A prank?” It’s fascinating how this man can go from 0 to 100 back to 0 so quickly. He calms down so fast, glancing at the top of the stairs where he sees his son standing with his hands in his pockets.

“I told her it would be a bad idea.”

“I–hey! I didn’t think it was gonna be this bad,”

“I did,” Ryuu starts to walk down the stairs and past you two. “He’s said it before. He doesn’t play when it comes to people showing you respect, even if it’s his own son.” 

Satoru can only sigh at his son’s words before staring at you. “Don’t do that again.”

“I won’t…But I won’t lie, seeing you riled up like that–”

“I’m too old to have a sibling!”

༉‧₊˚. GETO SUGURU

Your girls were a giggly mess. You shush them before saying very loudly.

“In what world is this acceptable?” 

“Mom,” your daughter, Tsukimi, feigns an annoyed tone, refusing to look up from her phone. “I really don’t care.”

“But I do.” You stand over her bed, motioning for her twin sister to get into the role as well.

“Does it matter?” Asahi uses the same annoyed, bored tone. One that quickly catches Suguru’s attention. He walks into the main area from the garage before hearing the argument upstairs. 

Quickly wiping his hands with the dirty rag attached to his pants, he starts to make his way up to your twin daughters’ room to see what it was about. 

“Of course it does, I’m your mother.”

“You’re really just pushing it.”

“You sneaked out last night! Do you know how disappointed your father will be?” Suguru freezes up at the revelation. But he doesn’t let his disappointment or anger get the best of him, maybe the four of you can work this out–your girls were at a rebellious age, this was bound to happen and all he needs to do is figure out a way for all of you to get along without–

“Aren’t you supposed to be our best friend or something?” Tsukimi sits up on the bed, furrowing her eyebrows in a way that reminds you how similar her and her father’s features are. 

“Right now I’m your mother.” 

“Oh would you just shut up?”

A loud slam makes the three of you flinch, and you turn to find Suguru standing by the door looking as angry as a raging bull.

“Who said it.”

“Wha–”

“Who said it. Who was it?” He is so furious you could see steam coming out from the top of his head. “Have you lost your fucking minds to be talking to your mother like that? Did I fail at educating you or what?”

“Suguru–”

“No,” he puts a hand on your shoulder, gently pushing you out of the room. “I need to talk to them.”

“No wait, listen–”

“I don’t want to hear it.” When you see that he had a stern look on his face, you realize that you need to save your daughters from the prank.

“It was a prank. I promise you.” 

“It really was a prank,” your twin daughters are sitting on the same bed, looking as sheepish and as guilty as ever. 

“And it was my idea,” Tsukimi adds. 

“And I didn’t stop her.” Your thumbs trace his cheeks, smiling apologetically at him. “Sorry,” 

Suguru sighs, resting his hands on his hips as he shakes his head.

“Fucking prankters. That almost gave me a heart attack.”

“But admit it, we’re good actresses, right?” Asahi asks with a grin and Suguru chuckles before ruffling her hair.

“Yeah, you sure are.”

➜ ┊: COMMISSIONS | KOFI

2024 © all works belong to @slttygeto. do not repost, translate or steal any of my works.

[dxckgrxsonx]

hi you have broken my brain and i am now irrevocably obsessed with jason todd (and especially the way you write him 🥹💕) thank you so much :’))))

thinking so hard about wet soapy jason in the shower and the fact that neither of you would ever be able to shower alone bc as soon as one of you realized your love was in the shower you’d HAVE to join <3

i love how sweet this is.

everytime you grab your towel or switch on the shower Jason appears in your line of sight, shirt already halfway off, an excited little smile on his handsome face.

he’s already telling you—rambling really—that he’s washing your hair first and he needs to condition his because he didn’t have time before and he wants to use the fruity shower gel you love because he likes the way it smells and you both have just this sigh of relief when you press together because of course you feel right at home under eachothers palms.

it doesn’t matter where he is, the second you switch on the water he’s there. you pick up your towel in his general vicinity and his head snaps up, watching you until you head into the bathroom and he’s immediately trailing at your heels.

or, you get home, hear the shower running and before you even enter the bathroom your pants are hanging from one leg. Jason thinks it’s hilarious when you fumble your way into the shower with him, hands already reaching out to touch his soapy skin, all warm and soft and safe.

you both write stupid little messages and make silly drawings on the mirror when it gets all steamy and more often than not it’s a simple ‘I love you’ or ‘let’s fuck later’ with a horrible picture of two stick people laying on top of each other, (you tried your best, okay?).

you know that joke about dads and knowing when you touch/go near the thermostat?? yeah. that. but it’s Jason and his shower sensing ability.

he’s out on patrol, you start the shower and all of a sudden you get a text message from him saying ‘don’t you dare shower without me.’

[oldmannapping]

One of my favourite fic tropes is “drugged and loopy on truth serum”.

Normally-stoic characters acting wildly out of character and professing the innermost feelings that canon has implied but is too chickenshit to address? Or fixing toxic canon dynamics because fuck it, fanfic is for dreamers?

Chef’s. Kiss. Mwah mwah mwah, mutherfucker.

Eg:

Bruce Wayne: “I love my sons so much. Even the large murdery one. He was just my tiny little guy, and now he’s so big and problematic but that’s just more to love.”

Or characters dropping absolutely horrific bombshells about canon traumas and giggling like a teenager drinking their first Bacardi.

Eg:

Tim Drake: “I’m so glad I made all those League Of Assassins bases go kablooey. It prolly killed hundreds of people but pssssh I wasn’t ready to be a dad to Ra’s babies.”

Drunk-seeming, loopy, hilariously honest and oblivious character rambles are my jam.

If anyone has any recs, throw them my way.

[uraniumbones]

oh God oh fuck oh God

I didn't know he was wearing his father's clothes. omfg he loves his family so much. Just like that post about all the changes he made to be a good guardian for the twins and then they almost decided to run away. This is just another example of that. He wears his dad's clothes and when his brother sent him that post card saying "please come" he went, and when he fucked up and lost his brother he spent the next thirty years trying to get him back dealing in machinery and mystical forces he does not understand. He loves his family so much even when they don't love him. He loves his family so much and he wants someone to love him too :((( HE'S BEEN ALONE FOR SO LONG why didn't anyone go to Mr mystery's mystery aged birthday party? I'm fucking shrieking at the top of my lungs. In one of the episode's commentary tracks (land before swine?) there's a story Stan tells about how Ford made a kissing robot to learn how to kiss correctly and the only way to turn it off was to kiss it good. And it went off in class and Ford had to kiss the disembodied head in front of everyone to get the siren to stop and then he says "HAHAHAHAHAH hahahaha HAAAHAHAHA..... he was still more popular than me". And is that hilarious? Yes. Is it also heartbreaking? Yes. for fucks sake someone just care about him. This isn't the story of an unpopular nerd brother and a popular street smart brother. This is the story of a golden boy and a black sheep. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

[sturnmeovr]

“Okay, okay,” Matt chimes in over the mixed chatter in the room, “open mine next!” You watch as he holds up a small, wrapped present, handing it to his mom; the family quickly forms an assembly line, passing the neatly wrapped present one by one until it reaches you, “this is for Chris?” 

“It’s for both of you,” he replies, a mischievous grin pulling at his lips. A grin you were way too familiar with since you had been in a roommate situation with your boyfriend's two brothers since you discovered you were pregnant. You were very much used to Matt’s little pranks he loved pulling on Chris. You thought it was hilarious how Chris never saw it coming, always left embarrassed or laughing so hard he was in tears. Secretly, you prayed your son would have a sibling, that they’d one day share a similar bond that their dad had with his brothers. You bite back a giggle as a smile makes itself known on your lips, you hand the present over to Chris, “you open it.” 

The whole room watches as Chris tears the present open much like a kid on Christmas morning. Completely oblivious to his brother's scheme, his face lights up bright red as does yours once he reveals the present, holding it up for everyone to see. A box of Trojan condoms – ultra thin to be exact. You knew they were Chris' go-to because you two abandoned the half-used box in his nightstand drawer the minute your pregnancy test came out positive.

Embarrassment rises to your chest, and you let out a barely noticeable gasp, slapping a hand over your mouth. Granted it was obvious you were very pregnant; it was unsettling knowing everyone knew sex was what led to you being in the position you were in now — pregnant as fuck on Christmas Day, your belly so big you had to maneuver sideways thru most tight spaces. 

The room erupts in fits of laughter, a few snorts being let out in the process, only adding a darker shade of redness to your freshly powdered cheeks. A shit eating grin plastered on Matt’s face, “I was gonna say I didn’t want any nieces or nephews anytime soon but looks like it's a little too late for that one,” he snorts. You look over at Chris wide-eyed almost like you’re pleading to him for an escape route. He reads you perfectly, clearing his throat, “haha — very funny, asshole,” he shoots out before throwing the box of condoms at his brother. He wraps an arm around you, letting you bury your face into his chest as the laughter fades out, your baby’s grandfather makes sure to add, “better late than never, right?” 

wc - 455

♡‧₊˚ Ofc I seen the video and thought of this immediately lmaoo. Send me asks or suggestions about thes two!! Also make sure your tissues are ready for the next babydaddy!Chris x sweetheart!Reader fic 🫣 (im so srry I love you all, but it was bound to happen)

Tags - @lvrsturniolo @ribread03 @unknvhx @m11rx @sweetshuga @loveparqdise @frickin-bats @katie-tibo @leila-marie4 @delusional-4-fake-people @shadowthesim @immy08 @trevorsgodmother @watercolorskyy @thepubeburgler @courta13 @luvr4miya @chrislilcumslvt @strnilolover @sagesturns @slut4chris888 @watermelonstarzz @purpledragon222 @reidshearts @sophand4n4 @mattssslutbby @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @sturnslutz @sturniolo101 @sturniolos-manslut19 @stvrniolostan

babydaddy!Chris Masterlist

Masterlist

Taglist (comment to be added)

Requests/asks are always open!

© M00NL1GHTS1VT - please do noy copy my work

[chososcamgirl]

(SHE’S) JUST A PHASE CHAPTER FOUR: holy waters

masterlist

“Give it up for Miss Ayesha Erotica, everyone!” Yn announced with infectious enthusiasm over the radio waves.

Miwa, sporting vibrant teal hair and an equally vibrant grin, followed up with theatrical flair, “God, I love emo boy!”

Yn shot her a smirk. “Well, I’m pretty sure that’s a sentiment we can all get behind, right?”

Miwa didn’t miss a beat, her excitement bubbling over as she declared, “No Yn, I really, really love emo boys!”, being sure to enunciate the s at the end.

Yn’s face contorts as a picture of Megumi flashes through her mind.“That makes one of us,” Yn quipped, “but I see your point.”

“Seriously, though,” Miwa said, barely containing her glee, “today is shaping up to be amazing!”

Yn arched an eyebrow skeptically. “Oh? Do tell.”

Miwa’s eyes sparkled with mischief as she revealed, “Because Tridant has graced us with 10 free tickets to their show this Saturday, and we’re giving them away!”

Yn’s face twisted into a mix of dread and disbelief, her jaw nearly hitting the studio floor. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she muttered into the mic, trying to cover her panic with a forced grin. “Trident? You know I’d rather listen to nails on a chalkboard.”

Miwa’s eyes widened in playful astonishment. “Huh, since when did you become such a critic?”

Yn leaned over and mouthed, “Just roll with it.”

Miwa nodded, her grin widening. “I know, but that’s exactly why this is going to be hilarious. We’re going to make someone’s day—and maybe even get you to enjoy yourself.”

Yn groaned dramatically. “Alright, but if I have to endure this concert, you owe me a full day of Solange on the station.”

Miwa clapped her hands together, her laughter echoing. “Deal! Alright, listeners, if you want a shot at these coveted tickets, call in now and tell us why you’re the ultimate Tridant fan. And don’t forget to shout out how much you adore these emo boys!”

As the phone lines lit up with eager callers, YN slumped back in her chair, torn between dread and reluctant amusement. Despite her best efforts to look disgruntled, she couldn’t help but be drawn in by Miwa’s infectious enthusiasm. And she knew Twitter would have a field day with this one—especially with a certain raven-haired boy likely to make an appearance in the trending topics.

“Megumi, get off your phone! We need to practice otherwise Gojo will be up our asses!” Yuta barked, his voice cutting through the cluttered practice room like a drill sergeant.

The space was strewn with old gear, tangled cables, and random junk, making it look like a tornado had hit a music store. Yuta, already in dad mode, stormed out, his footsteps echoing off the mismatched walls as he went in search of something crucial.

“Yeah, but Toge’s on his phone too,” Megumi shot back, his fingers still scrolling through his screen, barely lifting his gaze.

“Yeah, but nobody gives a fuck about him,” Yuji interjected from the corner of the room, where he was perched on a drum stool, grinning like he’d just won a prize.

“Suck my dick ,” Toge retorted, his white hair bouncing as he turned, looking genuinely miffed.

Megumi rolled his eyes with exaggerated drama, reluctantly shoving his phone into his back pocket. He could feel the buzzing vibrations through his jeans and couldn’t help but smirk, taking a twisted pleasure in the fact that he was managing to irk you.

“Ugh, Megumi, why are you grinning like that? A jumpscare warning would’ve been nice,” Toge commented, half-annoyed, half-amused, from his spot by the amp.

“Go fuck yourself,” Megumi snapped back, his smugness evaporating into a gruff irritation.

Did he really find joy in annoying you? Megumi mused, a hint of doubt creeping in.

“Hey, Megumi, you seem unusually cheerful today,” Yuta announced as he reentered, clutching whatever he’d gone to fetch with an air of importance.

“See? Even Yuta’s noticed,” Toge snarked, his eyes glittering with mischief.

“So what’s up, big guy?” Yuji asked, his grin widening as he strolled over, clearly enjoying the chaos.

“Did you finally get your dick sucked or something?” Toge blurted out, his tone blunt and unapologetic.

“Why would that make me happy?” Megumi shot back, genuinely confused.

“Because everyone can tell when you’re sex-deprived,” Toge replied matter-of-factly, adding with a laugh, “Plus the horny slash hate subtweets you’ve been posting do nothing for your case.”

“I’m not sex-deprived,” Megumi insisted, his face turning a shade of crimson.

“MY BOY!” Yuji cheered, rushing in for a celebratory dap.

“Not like that,” Megumi murmured, his cheeks burning as the room erupted in laughter, the awkwardness of the situation making it clear that maybe he should have kept his phone in his pocket.

“Alright, let’s get down to business. We need to nail this new song for our upcoming gig,” Yuta finally says as the laughter dies down, holding a stack of sheet music with an air of importance.

“Finally!” Yuji cheered, bouncing on his drum stool.

“Yeah, yeah,” Toge muttered, putting his phone away and grabbing the microphone. “Let’s see what this new song’s all about.”

Yuta handed out the lyric sheets and nodded at the band. “This one’s a bit different—more upbeat. I want to hear energy and precision. Let’s start with the intro and build from there.”

extras!

• the band in sjap is called triDANT not triDENT bc the group collectively came up with the name together but toge was the one entrusted (first mistake) who had to write it down for copyright purposes etc paper work ete anyways this man CANNOT spell so that's why it's with an A instead of an E lol

• yes the group definitely clowned him for it but they couldn't change it so it stuck and they ran with it

• toge did go to the gym but he snuck in when yuji went and they definitely blasted him on their social media page and stuck his face on the wall of shame😭

• the tickets sold out COMPLETLY and yn lowkey wanted one for herself…

• definitely did not smile to herself when panda told them he scored her tickets thanks to toge..

• dramatic ass

• megumi has convinced himself he only texts yn to piss herself and nothing more than that

• i aspire to be at his level of delusion

• yn, panda and nobara all went to whole foods and asked if they had any close to expire tomato’s at the back (they did)

• they went home with 2 crates full of the most saggiest wettest tomato’s in existence

• hope u guys enjoyed the week overdue chap :3

taglist: @shokosbunny @luvvmae @catobsessedlady @satoryaa @prozacprinc3ss @essjujutsu @therealsatorugojo @yeehawslap @gojodickbig @dawnisatotalqueen @j2upiters @nappingnai @lalalasillybilly3000 @totallytatum @3cst4syy @lysaray @saltypuffin1040 @aozui @noodles-icetea @makeshiftproject @kurtcobaingirlie @kokoiinuts @renbittt @dashingaurries @slvttycorpse @cuupidsss @mochroialainn @tenjikusstuff4 @oroborosttheiii @ichcocat @iiwaijime @drugzforyou @sugurubabe @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @tyigerz @yoyo-yui @megoomies @yizmiu @jasminasblog22 @yomamablazeit @marst4rz @guitarstringed-scars @qtnfer @kalulakunundrum @lovefrominaya @beepbopzlorp @iheartlindz @itsdragonius @meguemii @chilichopsticks @7kn0wn @starantulas @1l-ynn @bonitoflakez @rcveriees @solaqes @starrysho @sukunaspillow @evry1luvssm

*if i can't tag you please change your tag settings otherwise i will remove you from the list!

[lina-lovebug]

I'd Fight The Devil

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Background: (Y/N) Morningstar with her partner, Alastor, has decided to put some of the Overlords in their place.

Warning: Alastor being Alastor, mentions of pregnancy but no one's pregnant, and Alastor might have a breeding kink

_ _ _

"(Y/N)! What a surpri-!"

"I believe that's Princess (Y/N) Morningstar, Heir to the throne of Hell, and Duchess of Chaos - to you," Alastor loved doing this. He adored how (Y/N) had decided to start using her true power, and to bring respect back to her name.

The family name, to be exact.

Valentino chuckled nervously as (Y/N) scoped out the place, her horns ever presenting and tail flicking with annoyance.

"What a pleasure to be hosting you, Princess. What would be the reason for this visit?" Valentino asked, offering her a drink.

"I'm fine, thank you," She dismissed it, already smelling the poison inside the cocktail.

"I'm here to discuss Angel Dust, and your contract with him."

"If he's too much trouble for the hotel, I'll happily-"

"You're the one causing the trouble," Alastor cut him off.

Valentino sputtered, "me?!"

"You can feign innocence all you wish, Val, but I've heard that you've called my sister a bimbo, along with many other colorful names," (Y/N) slowly stood up, leaning over his desk as the lights started to go out - one by one.

"Charlie is nice. She's always been the kinder of us Morningstars, but apparently this makes you think that you can go and soil our name. My father could have strung every sinner on a hook for eternity, torturing you all second by second as your screams sung into our great halls," no one had been unfortunate enough to see the form of (Y/N) Morningstar, and Val was one of them.

Her height expanded to nine feet tall, her pretty black nails forming into claws and her eyes ablaze with scarlet serpent pupils.

And wings - oh great black wings that could make even Adam rethink his attack.

When he was still alive, of course.

"And you sully his gift by mocking us."

"Look, Vox did it first! Okay?! He said you'd never-!" Val tripped on a tentacle that came from her beloved Alastor, who dropped a TV by his feet.

But not just any TV.

"Oh God," Val gasped, "Vox. . .?"

"I took care of him earlier," Alastor grinned, still reminiscent on his screams.

"I couldn't have my dear (Y/N) sully her hands with his filth. But whatever the Princess wants, she gets."

Oh to see her come into her power was as chilling as death itself.

"You're so romantic, Alastor," (Y/N) smiled.

That's when Valentino spotted it. On the left hand of (Y/N) Morningstar was a ruby wedding ring, the band pure gold.

Alastor finally did it.

He climbed up the latter, but not through power.

Well yes, through power, but he certified that it would always be his.

By marrying Lucifers daughter.

"We're matching, isn't it adorable?" Alastor showed off his own wedding band, ruby's encrusted inside of it.

"Now, where were we?" She grinned, and as an engagement gift, the screams of Vox and Valentino were broadcasted throughout all of Hell.

And they say chivalry is dead.

_ ☆ _

"They're fucking crazy."

"They're made for each other."

On that, Angel Dust and Husker could agree.

The lovely couple had become the center of Hells attention after their engagement was announced, and even though Alastor thought it would be hilarious for Lucifer to find out through the papers, she told him first.

And he cried.

"Oh my baby is all grown up!" Lucifer sobbed loudly, clinging onto her legs, "look at you! You-you used to be this small!" Lucifer grabbed a duck, "and you were so tiny and so cute!"

"Am I invited?" Lucifer squeaked, staring up into her eyes.

"Yes, dad," She smiled, bringing him up to his feet, "but we want to wait a bit before we plan anything."

"You know she used to bite my finger?!" Lucifer grabbed the baby pictures of little (Y/N), "look at how small she was! Oh, and this one is my favorite!"

Alastor truly didn't mind how touchy Lucifer had become with him, but thankfully, Lucifer also knew when to stop.

"Wait, is that why you're getting married?! Did you impregnate my daughter?!" Lucifer gasped, shoving his hand on her stomach.

"Dad! Dad, no! I'm not pregnant!" She quickly cleared up.

"Unfortunately," Alastor muttered to himself. Oh to see her belly swell with his children - his own spawn, it made his cock twitch at the thought.

He was fond of children but his own? Oh he'd spoil his little prince or princess with all the blood sacrifices the world had to offer.

"Yeah but you know what marriage entails, kiddo!" He pointed at them both with finger guns, "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby-oh my GOD I'll be a grandpa!"

He started crying again.

She sighed, "at least we know our hypothetical child will be taken care of."

Alastor nodded, "I could not have picked a better father-in-law."

At this point, Lucifer was ugly crying.

Alastor looked at his beloved with a soft gaze as she tried calming her father down. To be honest, Alastor never thought he would ever find solace in Hell. He anticipated every day being a fight for his life, always looking over his shoulder and always striving for more power. And as cheesy as it sounded, he saw (Y/N) as his shining light. She brought out his sad heart, and for the first time in his life, he wished his mother was with him.

To see just what a wonderful woman he managed to catch.

[landograndprix]

╰┈➤ ❝ desire • l.n c.l c.s ❞ II

part i - part iii

➪ Charles hasn't paid much attention to you after your daughter was born but a certain Brit does.

➪ Charles is not trying to do his best to safe your relationship but a new friendship is blossoming between you and lando.

➪ established relationship mom!reader x dad!Charles x lando

➪ thank you so much for the love this fic us getting, it honestly was just a silly idea i had, absolutely insane 😭 google translate is my bestest friend

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y/nusername

📍 Monte-Carlo, Monaco

liked by landonorris, manon_roux and 412,322 others

y/nusername the day after hits different when you've got a mini you 🍷

tagged: manon_roux, noellepicard

view all 1,523 comments

manon_roux hangover central over here😩

↳ y/nusername I would too if I drank about every drink available

noellepicard nobody told you to down all that tequila

manon_roux thanks for the support you guys

formulaonef1 Manon being the wildest of them all is not something I expected 💀

julieeeexo oh yeah the day after a night out definitely hits different, I know all about it!

charlieferrari zoë with her little bow 😭

hannahh how do you have time to read? I have a 8 month old and I'm barely able to read 2 pages a day!

↳ y/nusername I'm very lucky with a daughter who never skips a single nap and loves her sleep 😅

joris__trouche just like her mother

y/nusername oh definitely 🥰

landonorizzzz the fact that joris has been paying more attention to y/n than I've seen Charles do in the last couple of weeks is fucking hilarious to me

landoscar and its all too much for little zoë leclerc 😴

carlito55 did you and charles break up?

robyn_diaz had so much fun last night, so glad we got ti meet! 🤩

↳ norrizz isn't this lando's gf? 😂

norry4 unfortunately 😂

norrizz unfortunately??

norry4 she didn't really hide the fact that she's dating lando just for her 5 seconds of fame and money 💀

oscarpastry they're robably just fwb, lando said he was single in an interview couple weeks back

noellepicard mom's big night out, great success

landonorris still alive?

↳ y/nusername barely

landonorris I know the feeling

carlandooo lando...what are you doing here? 👀

charlesherve oh god watch this be the new ship of the fandom 🙄

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y/nusername posted to their story

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y/nusername

📍 Monte-Carlo, Monaco

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 526,009 others

y/nusername les derniers jours de l'été ☀ (the last days of summer)

tagged: charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc

view 1,562 comments

thurthur gotta love the leclerc family 😭

manon_roux mademoiselle fille passe une journée difficile, je vois 😴 (miss girl having a tough day i see)

↳ y/nusername c'est un travail difficile d'être un bébé (it's a tough job being a baby)

manon_roux ..et quelqu'un doit le faire 🥰 (..and someone's gotta do it)

bott_ass take me to Monaco pls

joris__trouche still not an invite? 😔

↳ sharl16 joris being abandoned by his boyfriend and his boyfriends girlfriend 😔

arthurlec omg arthur and charles 😭

noellepicard j'espère que tu as passé une bonne journée, hottie ❤️ (hope you had a great day, hottie)

↳ y/nusername toujours 😘 (always)

arthur_leclerc you need to lock your phone better

↳ y/nusername or you could leave it alone?

arthur_leclerc yeah but that's not fun ☺

thurthur stop bullying your brothers girlfriend 😭

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y/nusername posted to their story

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Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @harrysdimple05 @minkyungseokie @pretty-little-bunny382728 @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @severewobblerlightfdragon

Desire taglist; @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @writingworlds @chezmardybum @lewisvinga @xjval @fanficweasley @rockyhayzkid @aundercover @thecubanator2 @minchedchilli @crimeshowjunkie @alisoncasey21 @eeviepepi08 @shamelesspotatos @sleepybrokenmelle @leireggsworld @janeholt3 @iamahalucinationn @dessxoxsworld @kapsylia @22yuki @dark-night-sky-99 @sheslikeacurse @nerdreader @champagneproblems17 @norwayxo @sunny44 @honeymoonelvis47 @forevertcaffeinated-lee @amalialeclerc

Lando taglist: @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10 @bored-brunette2

[salvieslovenotes]

vi who's just a total hot mess...

Don't get me wrong, I love confident Vi who knows exactly what she's doing, a little smug and self-assured that she knows exactly what you like and how to give it to you. Who always has a shadow of a smirk tugging at her lips. But I feel we're sleeping on canon Vi—like that girl was a mess. Did you not see the way she looked at Cait?! My girl is the definition of "sure babe whatever you say".

So here's some little hot mess Vi headcanons I love

She's always bumping into stuff. She's got bruises all over her hips and legs from the amount of times she's caught herself on the table corner or counter top. It's gotten to the point where if there's a cupboard door open on a high shelf, you automatically cover the corner with your hand when Vi's around because she'd pretty much guaranteed to bang her head.

On that note, she's always dropping things. She's not allowed to touch the fancy dinner plates or empty the dishwasher because of it. Every few months you have to buy new glasses because yup, the others are all somehow broken. Again. ("I don't understand where they all go!" Vi complains, genuinely confused "I can't have broken them all.... did I?" Spoiler alert she did, in fact, break them all.)

Still on that note, she trips over everything. Everything, her path could be completely clear and she'd still stumble. It's sort of endearing, like you're leaving your flat and she's tripping over the front mat—"Who the fuck put that there?" She's so indignant it makes you smile. "We did, it's a mat. You know, the thing that goes before a door?"

When undressing you or tugging off her own clothes, she'll inevitably get an arm tangled, or struggle with buttons or a belt buckle. It always makes you both laugh a bit, because she's always so impatient and gets stuck on the smallest things. "Who the fuck invented these?" she laughs, amused at herself, her shaky fingers. But when you try to help she'll whine, "No, no, almost got it." (Half of your clothes end up ripped when she inevitably loses patience.)

She's super clever and can pick up things pretty quickly, but she's always trying to cut corners and experiment to make it "easier." Baking? Who needs all that measuring crap, she can just eyeball it. And sure, the cake tastes amazing, but it also swelled up like a balloon because she accidentally tipped in half the container of baking soda. The fire alarm gets set off at least once a week; now if you smell smoke you just... leave her to it.

She's super into tech and fixing stuff, which means lots of taking things apart, and the odd yelp here and there as she gives herself small electric shocks. One time you come home to smoke wafting through the kitchen, the distinct smell of burning rubber and a very sheepish Vi, who accidentally melted some kitchen utensils. How?! You don't even ask. (After that she has to work in the garage.)

She's always covered in grease from "improving" things on her motorbike. You're terrified every time she takes it for a spin, thinking for sure one of those "improvements" is going to get her in some sort of trouble.

Climbing onto the roof without shoes to fix something, sticking her hand through a dubious hole in the wall without gloves, leaning close to a faulty socket without glasses. "Hey, don't panic Cupcake, what's the worst that could happen, huh?" and you wave a wild hand around "Ugh, you could die?!"

Like sure, she's confident and daring and smirks her way through everything, but also laughs until she chokes, and pulls every "push" door, and basically will fall over her own feet if she's not gripping your hand. She thinks dad jokes are hilarious and doesn't know her way around your neighbourhood even though she literally grew up there. Whenever she's out you'll inevitably get a "hey I'm lost" call. "Where are you?" "Uhhh, like... opposite a post office?" You think for a second, orientating yourself. "Okay, turn so the post office is on your left, and keep walking." There's dubious silence from Vi's end and you sigh, biting back a smile. "Your left, like the hand you write with." "Ohh! Got it, got it..."

In a new city it's even worse, because she refuses to use maps. "Who needs directions when you can have adventure and discovery!!" "Vi, I'd hardly call the red-light district of Paris adventure, I just wanna see the bloody Eiffel Tower!"

Walking out in the sexist outfit ever, tattoos on full display, chains around her waist and looking unholy in steel capped boots, and your mouth has never been so dry in your whole life and "Hey Cupcake, can you help me? The stupid zip is tangled..."

anyway disaster Vi everyone, she has my whole heart

[vivwritesfics]

Wait will you eventually write about what happened when Maverick caught Jake and Bug?

Just really love Bug and her Hangman ❣️

I'M GLAD SOMEONE ELSE THINKS ABOUT THEM AS MUCH AS I DO.

Jake and Bug

What could Bug do other than invite her father inside? "I'm just gonna get dressed," she said as Jake shut the door behind Maverick.

Maverick, who's daughter he had just been inside of. Maverick, who's daughter had just been calling Jake Daddy!

It was kind of scary how silent Maverick was as he walked towards the kitchen. Jake was lost, and a bit terrified. Maverick was loud when he was angry, not like this.

Jake took one step towards the bedroom.

"Don't you fucking dare."

Like a dog with it's tail tucked between it's legs, Jake followed Maverick to the kitchen. "Sit down," Maverick said as he pulled out a chair.

Jake sat.

Maverick didn't sit right away. It was the only time he was ever standing above Jake, taller than him. The way Jake wouldn't meet his eyes was, well, hilarious. But Maverick wasn't laughing.

Bug walked into the kitchen and froze. There was her... what was he? He wasn't exactly her boyfriend (not yet, anyway). But he was clearly terrified of her dad.

"Sit down," Maverick said again as he pulled out the seat opposite Jake. She didn't need to be told twice as she sat down, and Maverick stood at the head of the table. "I can't believe this," he said.

She looked at her hands folded in her lap, somewhat guilty as her dad berated her. She just sat there, taking it as her dad expressed his anger, disgust and disappointment.

And Jake? Well, he was getting angry. It would have been so much better if Maverick was shouting at him, he could have taken it. But Bug looked ready to cry.

Jake reached his hand across the table. "C'mere, Bug," he said, interrupting Maverick.

When she placed her hand in his, he squeezed and turned his attention to Maverick. "I get that she's your daughter, Mav, I really do," he said, jaw set. "But she's a grown woman. She can make her own choices and she chose to love me." He could feel her staring at him, but he didn't meet her gaze. "And I love her."

Maverick shook his head. "She's ten years younger than you, Hangman! She's..." She's my little girl.

Suddenly, Bug faced her father. "He's right, dad. I'm an adult, and it was my decision to... be with Jake." Maverick's head dropped at that. "I-I think you should go," she said to her father as she stood up.

Maverick didn't push back, didn't argue. He followed his daughter to the front door. What did he think? That she was going to beg for his forgiveness like when she was a little girl! Of course not. What Jake had said was right, she was a woman now.

"I'll speak too you soon," she said quietly as she pulled open the door. No 'goodbye', nothing. Maverick walked out of the apartment, and she shut the door in his face.

As soon as the door was shut, she was running through her apartment, back to Jake. He pushed his chair back and she crawled into his lap. "I'm sorry, Bug," he whispered against her hair. Soft Jake was a rarity, unless he was with her.

She blinked up him, looking so pretty in his lap. That was when Jake noticed she was still wearing one of his shirts. "Did you mean what you said? That you love me?"

There was a moment, one that had her heart racing, where Jake said nothing. It was awful. But then he nodded. "I wanted to take you on a proper date before I said anything, but yeah, Bug. I love you."

Throwing her arms around his neck, Bug planted a kiss on his lips. One that had Jake cradling the back of her head. "I love you too, Jakey." She kissed all over his face and down his neck. "Now, about that date..."

[erinwantstowrite]

Dick and Tim would be REALLY good on reality tv,,, they're both charismatic (please do not forget that Tim makes friends/allies easily just like Dick can), handsome, CLEVER, and know how to play to a persona. i think they'd go on shows for fun and to de-stress. like one too many things piss them off in their daily lives and they could pretty much get a vacation from it just to go on these shows. no one in the family can talk to them and they get to annoy people, crack jokes, and get fun puzzles in the form of a literal puzzle or figuring out social dynamics of the other players.

sometimes they go on shows by themselves but mostly use it as a brotherly bonding activity. if it's a show where they can be a duo they're GOING to do it. and they're going in to play to a storyline, not to win. they don't need the money, they don't need the publicity, they just want to have fun. sometimes if they figure out that everyone on the show sucks and they get competitive, they'll win. but mostly their goal is "how can we make the funniest plot line look the most natural." or something like that. i know a producer LOVES to see them coming. i bet EVERYONE tunes in when they're on a show because they're fucking hilarious even if half of what they say are inside jokes. the rest of the family watches and they KNOW what those shits are pulling, they have betting pools where they guess what the two are gonna do next, they're the FIRST to make memes for both internet and for the family group chats.

one time they convinced Bruce to go (it's been many a years since he really had to play up the Brucie role, cause he's a dad now and the older he gets the more people expect him to mellow out, and even back when he was full Brucie, reality TV wasn't his thing). it was one of those survival based shows where you come is as a team and try to win together. Bruce got lost in the woods after going on a hike. The camera men literally lost him and Tim and Dick were playing it up for the camera. Dick cried and invited the other teams to a funeral. Tim had a speech that was basically "I think he's fine but this is my perfect opportunity to embarrass my dad with stories." The producers were like "we fucking killed Bruce Wayne oh my fucking god" and Bruce shows up at the funeral like "oh what a beautiful service my boys are so great." They won by pure luck and circumstances and they were actively TRYING to lose that game. They were gobsmacked at the end and everyone uses the moment they looked at each other in confusion and shock as reaction gifs

[lewisvinga]

the better team | federico valverde x fem! araujo! reader

summary; fede’s wife happens to be the sister of his teammate who also happens to play for his biggest rival

fc;various girls on pinterest

warnings; ?

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03 @c-losur3

note; requested ! decided to do an smau style + reader as araujo’s sister lolll BUT FEDE IS SOOO UNDERRATED😫he is an insane player omg

masterlist !

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liked by fedevalverde, ronaldaraujo_4, and others !

yourusername: 😇😇😊😊

tagged; fedevalverde, brahim, ardaguler

fedevalverde: 🤍🤍

fedevalverde: pero mi amor, what the fuck is that?

yourusername: the better team😁

fedevalverde: oooooooookayyyy😂😂😂

fedevalverde: i assisted in a ucl final btw

yourusername: ok 🙄 that just makes you good not your team 🙄

username: man he’s losing it rn😭

fedevalverde: no chanel bag for you !

yourusername: federico valverde.

fedevalverde: … so we go to the mall today with beni???😁

username: THE FIRST PIC IS SOOO CUTEEE😫

username: imagine being pregnant for 9 months only for your child to come out looking like his dad😭😭😭

yourusername: his carbon copy😔

username: nahhh the barca jersey is soo😔😭

brahim: bbq🍗

ardaguler: 😁

ronaldaraujo_4: nice jersey 😉

yourusername: the best of the best😁

fedevalverde: stop corrupting my wife🤬

fedevalverde: also ronald answer my text

ronaldaraujo_4: she’s my sister 🙄

ronaldaraujo_4: on it🫡

username: my nt besties 😭❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

judebellingham: BENNIIIIIII

yourusername: come over w vini soon he’s been asking for you two😭😭

vinijr: we will be there tmrw #trust

username: i love y/n’s monthly photo dumps 🙈

username: y/n u are an icon

username: her being a culer while dating a man who said you’d have to kill him to leave real madrid is soooo funny to me😭😭

username: she’s so real for that bc i’m a culer but im weak for jude and tchouameni

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liked by fedevalverde, judebellingham, and others !

yourusername: felicitaciones, mi amor [congratulations, my love] on winning la liga and making it to the champions league final. we are so proud of you! we love you so much!🤍🤍

tagged; fedevalverde

fedevalverde: los quiero mucho🤍 [i love you so much]

fedevalverde: see how you’re wearing the jersey of the better team 😉

yourusername: you’re sleeping on the couch tonight 🫶🫶

fedevalverde: SJE DIDNT DENY IT!!

username: fede valverde is insane man

username: he’s lucky asf, his family is so cute 🥹

ronaldaraujo_4: congratulations, cuñado! [brother in law]

yourusername:🤨🤨

ronaldaraujo_4: this is as a nt teammate and as his brother in law NOT as araujo of barcelona

fedevalverde: gracias 😁😛

username: both her sons being js like fede and getting none of the araujo genes is hilarious 😭

yourusername: the next one will be like me i swear 😖

fedevalverde: so we can try for the next one?🤔

vinijr: YO THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE ( arda )

ardaguler: 😧😧😧

judebellingham: omg protect him

yourusername: drama queens

username: the jerseys 🥹

username: dad valverde>>

username: adding y/n to my wag vision board 💆‍♀️