#I love love love thinking abt him and jackie I need him to be her discord kitten (platonic (also not accurate even then))

[arolesbianism]

I favorite hobby is talking songs that are 100% romantic and saying nuh uh and imagining Joshua amvs in my head

[xxgoldie]

went to karaoke and someone sang crush by david archuleta so now im thinking abt lighter romance enthusiast lorenz also listening to the most pining songs just the sappiest playlist known to man

as usual, i am Obsessed with lighter being down bad. he's such a fucking dork, i need him. have been listening to a variety of love song playlists for the last few days as i write this and its not helped the brainrot. cw: none, pure fluff, gn!reader wc: 444 (or 618 with the bonus)

when he's out and about, he tends to listen to metal and rock, the same kind of stuff that's in his demo trailer. it gets him in the right headspace for his champion duties. when he's alone, though? his headphones are playing exclusively sappy glitter-gel-pen love songs. he would rather die than let anyone know, he has an image to upkeep - wouldn't even put it past him to have a second spotify account, bc u know the girls will bug him to see his wrapped every year.

within the love song genre, his favourite songs are ones that remind him of you.

his listening history is an amalgamation of different musical styles, but what he really pays attention to is the lyrics; if there's a song that really captures the way he feels about you, or one where the singer describes their lover and they're similar to you, he can't help but put it on repeat. he also loves duets - just like with romance movies, he loves imagining its the two of you in that situation. when he's deep in crush territory, he'll even make a playlist of those songs (it's long - can't help that every other song reminds him of you).

when you're finally together, he's more open about his love of love songs. it may take a bit into your relationship, during some late-night conversation about your respective silly behaviours when you were pining over each other, for him to show you the playlist, titled with just your initial and a heart emoji. but even before that, if you happen to play any of the songs he secretly listens to, you might catch him singing along under his breath (lowkey this post every five seconds). you might chalk it up to him picking up the words of songs the girls listen to, but that's because you don't catch the way he looks at you with the lyrics on his lips.

there are other times where he'll slide up behind you in your kitchen, arms around your waist and head propped on your shoulder, the domesticity and the fact you're wearing his tshirt getting to him. he's not much of a singer, but he'll hum one of those songs in that moment (his voice has a lovely smooth n deep timbre, so his humming sounds Heavenly in your ear). he might get a little embarrassed if you recognise the song and start humming along with him, or god forbid singing, but he'll still sway the both of you along to the music. he's not much of a dancer either, but he can figure out a midnight slow dance in the kitchen for you.

bonus!! a few songs i think he'd listen to, tho kinda influenced by my own music taste (+ spotify links): kiss her you fool - kids that fly (he has it on loop when he's psyching himself up to ask you out) meteor shower - cavetown davy crochet - the backseat lovers (perhaps i'm biased on this one bc i crochet) stitch me up - set it off can't help falling in love - elvis presley cloud 9 - beach bunny ("even when we fade eventually to nothing / you will always be my favourite form of loving" really hits with his whole 'dying for love' thing) love grows (where my rosemary goes) - edison lighthouse paper rings - taylor swift jackie and wilson - hozier (there's a lot of hozier in his playlists, but he really likes the thought of a family with you, even if that's only a couple lines of the song) valentine - atlas sweet tooth - cavetown ("guess i must be satisfactory / you said you love me exactly the way i am" takes him Out i can just feel it) would you be so kind - dodie

[quietwingsinthesky]

ok hiiii Will!!! just got hit with thoughts of mickey 'n rose again, they are sooooo fun to me. but also i love examining their relationship (romantic or otherwise) and i love hearing other people's thoughts on their relationship. so.... if you have any thoughts abt them please share!

-🌺 Anon

oh i think i have a whole fic about mickey somewhere hold up.

yeah! bit old, but, here. i’ve always liked mickey, even back when i was watching the show as a kid. because he was just A Guy, you know. unfair to pit him against the doctor, unfair to judge him for not being who rose chooses. He never did anything wrong.

(And. Well. Not to bring up fandom scuffles, but it is Telling to me how some people feel the need to invent The Wrongs Of Mickey Smith to prove how “bad” he was for rose. ‘he told rose not to read his emails, which means he was cheating on her and hiding it’ <3 what the fuck are you talking about. asking someone not to read your emails is normal.)

And they get to occupy one of those little relationship niches that I adore, which is like! they broke up and they’re still friends, still important to each other! mickey’s the one who comes with jackie, following rose from another universe! (mickey & jackie relationship underappreciated btw. the people left behind… the absolute rift that tore between them when rose vanished and he was the only suspect and jackie had no one else to blame (but herself. for one last phonecall where she didn’t even ask where rose was.) and then the fact that jackie’s the one who mickey says he’ll miss most during journey’s end before he leaves. sorry not to get off-track but i love them too. p clear to me that, dating rose or no, mickey’s still a member of the tyler family, esp by the end there.)

they’re all tangled up and complicated, lines crossed and feelings hurt, but at the end of the day, i think they were better for knowing each other. mickey never would have gotten to step up into his hero role in another dimension and learn how much he was capable of if not for following rose there.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e3 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

squeezing this one in riiiiight before the next two eps drop lol. anyway these posts are about me processing these episodes and if you want to read them then that's cool too. but fair warning this is gonna be a fucking mess.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

show opens on zheng leading a raid and INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH. this might be the first time we've seen a raid where like. the background music is kinda moody. and what's odd is that it has like the same level of comedically over-the-top violence and characters just having a casual conversation as like, the e5 cold open. but there's sad piano and strings doing tremolo in the background. i have no idea what this means.

god. zheng is so fucking hot.

i love olu's "no, no, sorry, bruv." and the FACE HE MAKES AFTER!!! so good

olu's a feminist

ZHENG IS SO FUCKING HOT

~champers?~ stede you are such a dork. i need to pinch ur cheeks.

yeah fuck the english!!

zheng saying "everyone's cracking down on the little guy" makes me wonder if the show is gonna do anything abt how the end of the golden age of piracy was like. a year off. which i only know from reading a few fics where the authors incorporated that into the plot. and there was the one trailer where we see zheng in jackie's bar while stede's giving everyone a speech so yknow what that might be where all this is going. big pirate battle at the end of the season, right?

another thing ive been wondering abt tho is just how much is this show gonna completely fuck with history. because like. is zheng yi sao gonna conquer the fucking caribbean. are we just going completely off the rails re: historical accuracy and inventing entire major historical events?? like crocs and pinocchio and pirates from different historical periods all existing at the same time and in the same place is one thing but if the characters like. overthrow england. then ofmd just straight-up exists in an alternate timeline at that point.

stede "the gentleman pirate kills with kindness" bonnet being so impressed with zheng is so cute to me tho

fhsjkgdhfushl oh my god when zheng snaps her fingers and stede hurries to refill drinks the other captain guy grins and flashes finger guns at stede and this is SO fucking funny to me

zheng being like "noooo it's stupid teehee" tucking her hair behind her ears ALSO very funny to me

whose job was it to make the letter N out of caviar for the title card in this episode bc it looks fantastic. got little serifs and everything

stede taking his towel duties VERY seriously and just. dropping them on zheng's desk for no reason. even olu is like "stede what the fuck are you doing"

obsessed with the running gag of stede being like "i always say that!" and other characters being like "no you fucking dont"

stede having zero impulse control and seeing the abacus and just being like "hey what the hell is this thing" and shaking it around. me too, king.

i wont lie tho part of me wonders if stede like. going overboard with towel duty and messing shit up is on purpose. like is he playing dumb so zheng lets her guard down just in case he needs her to think he's completely helpless?? bc at the end of the episode he does get one over on her and i assume it's partly bc she underestimated him. or am i just reading too much into it lol.

but idk it's weird that olu's like "ok stede zheng is busy" and stede's just like "im gonna shake this thing now teehee"

WAIT ALSO backtracking a bit. why were stede and olu shadowing zheng at the beginning of the episode. i mean olu i get, it's bc she has a crush on him (who can blame her) but what's the in-universe justification for zheng being like "yeah alright white boy u can come too"

stede's gay little run out of the room. GO GET YOUR MAN!!!!

awww the crew all look so sad at how messed up the ship is :( THAT'S THEIR HOME!!!

I KNEW THE GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 WAS GONNA KILL ME WHEN IT SHOWED UP IN S2 BUT THIS WAS TOO FUCKING MUCH. THE WAY IT TRAILS OFF AND WE JUST HEAR THE WIND ECHOING. FUCKINGGGGG CLAWING AT MY EYES

i love that there's knife stuck in the painting guy's dick. stupid gags like that never get old. also if that was izzy it's extra funny like what the fuck did he even do that for

also have we ever actually seen the outside of the door to stede's cabin like this before??? we saw those dutch guys get chased down this hallway but idk about. the door.

the crew is too busy feasting on raw bird like they're extras in a zombie film to hear stede calling for ed. love that.

the two people that the camera focuses on individually are jim and izzy. makes sense bc these are the characters who i think are gonna have the most important shit going on re: the fact that they all tried to kill ed.

stede's painfully awkward smile after "um... hi." i mean honestly tho what the fuck else do you say to walking in on this

oh shit jim was totally about to tell stede what happened tho. and then archie interrupted with "oh shit, you're stede?????"

this must be so fucking funny from archie's perspective tho. must've heard so much abt this guy and now she finally gets to meet the main character of the story she stumbled into about a third of the way through. and he's kinda just some blond guy.

stede sounds so defensive too tho when archie's like "i thought you'd be taller, charismatic, muscly" bc god that's exactly what he thinks he should be. i mean ok stede is charismatic in a very unique way but his whole e1 fantasy of having a beard and being all macho and badass was just putting all his insecurities on blast. and now archie is like "this is the guy blackbeard was so fucked up over?? really????"

shoutout to archie saying "got tired" when theyre all saying ed retired

also why was wee john in this shot. like not even just in the shot he's just sitting RIGHT behind stede listening to the whole thing. he doesn't have a single line.

stede rolling his eyes and ignoring izzy is so good. yes king dont take the bait

oh ok wee john was there so that we can see frenchie go over to him and give him a fist bump in the background while stede walks away to stare off into the distance

eddie on tha beach

piggie!

cave! remember when we were all like "CAVE KISS???? ARE THEY GONNA KISS IN THE CAVE??????" it would be funny if this is it for the cave. just off in the distance for one shot. cant actually tell if this is the cave they were posting pictures of last fall tho and idrc enough to try and figure it out

pig's name is ruthie. ed why did your subconscious name the pig ruthie.

why did ed's subconscious make hornigold tell him "open up for the cargo ship" ed your daddy issues are fucking insane

hornigold fully like rubs ed's chest for a second there. kinda a weird choice there.

"last time i saw you, you said you were gonna flay my skin and feed it back to me" man what is it with these pirates and forced autocannibalism, huh? i think getting flayed would hurt more but skin's probably easier to eat than toes so idk which i'd prefer. no i dont know why im pondering this either

smthng abt how this is ed hallucinating this whole bit where hornigold pinches his nose and force-feeds him soup is so funny to me. it's a metaphor for ed dragging himself kicking and screaming to therapy.

frenchie telling fang to stfu scjgdfchjxgk

fucking incredible line delivery from joel fry through the whole "it's quite hot, im burnin up here! should we go and get some coolin' bevvies?" bit. love it.

uhh line break

also bro auntie is dead-on about the guilt. i dont blame the crew at all for what they did but this + the whole bird-eating sequence bro. they all liked ed. they cared abt him. other than archie, they all knew him as a pretty cool person. like BRO im gonna have to make another post abt this but the trauma of like, someone you liked becoming so suicidal that he puts you in increasingly miserable situations hoping you'll snap and kill him and he keeps escalating it until you have no choice but to kill him for your own safety. but you know he was a funny and chill person before this. and you know he only did this bc he wanted to die. dude this shit is fucking heavy.

anyway cut to jimolu lol

bro what IS going on in towels. i love how stede just passes around towels for smelling. is this something people have done literally ever or is this just so we can have chloroform towels at the end of the episode

sorry i know in the last post i was sort of squinting at the bit where olu forgot how to pronounce china but the was he mispronounces eucalyptus is just so satisfying to hear i cant even be mad abt it

awwwwgh u can tell jim was scared to tell olu abt kissing archie

lmaoooo when jim says "i saw her boobs" olu's head WHIPS around and he's like "oh??" all wide-eyed dbhjgkhdfyjsk

naw im sorry this is cute. this is a cute tealoranges scene. yes it's jim telling olu abt how they hooked up with someone else but bro i LOVE relationships with this kind of comfortable discussion abt sex and abt relationships in general. i mean there's a lot more for them to talk about still but in a worse show this wouldve been a whole screaming match. instead we got jim saying "you're kinda the best friend i tell everything to" and joking about boobs and UGH. it's so cute!!!!

it's also so fucking funny tho. "i saw her boobs" "oh?? okay, nice" "both of them" "nope, too much" WHY IS THAT WHERE HE DRAWS THE LINE HFKHSGJKFKKJFHK

also when did jim see archie's boobs tho. like ok realistically they've seen each other in varying stages of undress just bc it's not that big of a ship and there's only so much privacy. but the funnier answer is that after ed kicked them out of the secret room and a few minutes later a gunshot went off (who did the rest of the crew think pulled the trigger, i wonder) and they think izzy's dead probably. and then jim and archie decided this was a good time to hook up.

wait i forgot abt the nebulous amount of time between the mutiny and stede walking in on them all eating a dead bird. who fucking knows how much time that was tho. but they could've hooked up then i guess

GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. IM SOBBING.

the song gets to play out more in this scene and ohhhh baby i missed this piano piece. also stede looks more annoyed than upset. he's just casually yoinking things out of the wall. and then he sees the ones on the ceiling and is like "really, ed?"

i think i said this in the tags of a gifset but izzy says "don't cry, bonnet" when stede's back is to him and i just think it's funny bc stede literally wasnt crying. he just looked kinda pissed off. izzy continues to not understand ed or stede even a little bit.

also i love how the music changes by just playing a minor chord and then there's like a spooky echo and then. no more background music.

i just realized izzy's crutch is literally just a mop he's holding upside down. this is funny to me for some reason

"he was a wild dog and we dealt with him like one" izzy hands racism moments

why does izzy even lie about this. why does he say "no i could never do that" when literally he did. he looked right at ed's face as jim hit it with a fucking cannonball. like. what fucking purpose does lying about this even serve. in what way does that benefit izzy. idgi

also ive heard that apparently ppl think he did this to spare stede or something but 1. why would he not want to specifically torture stede as much as possible 2. this is literally not sparing stede bc stede would spend the rest of his life scouring the entire caribbean hoping to find the island where they dropped ed.

RANDOM fucking idea tho but what if they did maroon him but it was on the island from 1x02. that wouldve been great for ed probably. get therapy from the old guy. have some coconut rum drink. chill out. oh well instead they shoved ed into a secret closet and left him there to die from a traumatic head injury.

hornigold calling ed "bro" was such a dead giveaway for me that this was a dream sequence or whatever. like from trailers and stuff i had already figured that this guy was hornigold and that he was probably a ghost or something but i think i mightve been questioning it a little bit at this point. but yeah anyway ed says "bro" and while obviously we dont know exactly what hornigold was like, he didnt sound like the kind of guy to say "bro"

i do love how hornigold's like "you worried you're insane?" and ed's just like "yeah a little bit!"

hornighost: you gotta move on or blow your brains out. or... we can make some soup. ed: yeah let's do soup.

wait stede told zheng that they marooned ed. and then zheng is like "well it's at least mutiny-adjacent" like no im pretty sure that's literally just a regular mutiny

bro rubio qian is so good at making faces

i love how ed's like "you ever thought about selling these shoes?" like who the fuck is hornigold going to sell them to. where does ed think they are.

OUGH RETURN OF ED'S HAIR ALL UP IN A BUN!!!!

ough... return of ed's trauma :(

ughughghuhguhughughgffffff every time i hear ed's voice in the bathtub scene i want to cryyyyy SOMEONE HUG THIS MAN I SWEAR TO GOD

also hornigold's mouth definitely moves in this shot where ed climbs off his body lol

hnnng... ed arm

oughuhgu and a strand of the wig came out of the bun WHY IS HE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYY

i cant believe for months i had my fingers crossed for the "person A thinks person B is dead" trope with ed hearing about the fuckery but instead i got it THE OTHER WAY AROUND. AAAAAAAAAAAHH

yo is hornigold wearing like. a flag. idk why i just noticed this but there's like a giant metal rung with rope tied through it holding his whole robe-ish situation together. is that a flag

very random thought but i love how tv shows just cut back and forth btwn plots and one plot might basically be one conversation but every time we cut back theyre in a different setting and we dont see how they got there. like the cut from stede walking in on the crew eating a bird to all of them back on zheng's ship eating soup. and now we went from ed yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" at hornighost's hut and now they're on a beach talking abt what the fuck is going on. why did they go there. who knows. doesnt matter.

ed is so fucking stressed abt being in the gravy basket. poor man is nervously playing with the big stick and trying so hard not to lose his cool.

damn he threw that stick really far tho. good arm.

im sorry but it's SO fucking funny how zheng is trying to seduce olu in this scene and she's like "whats the status of your boatmance is it... ongoing?" *unsheathes sword* like girl that's not seduction that's a full-on threat. i mean it's still hot dgmw but it's unclear what exactly you're going for here

YES STEDEY-BOY

loving the jaunty little escape music

archie and jim holding haaands

stede: you always say you have perfect aim black pete: ive never said that roach: you always say that lucius, throwing his beloved boyfriend under the bus: you said it today

buttons is so fucking loud fhjkhgyejkthfjkhg. ngl i relate tho

obsessed with the noise button makes when he slides across to the Revenge

and they use tea towels to slide over!! god stede really made the most out of his time in towels

~~

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE how olu is the one sitting on the desk with his legs dangling and kicking during this makeout session

also obsessed with how theoretically olu could've seduced zheng out of killing the crew and it's possible that none of this was necessary

wait i literally just realized that they stole the wheel not just so that zheng couldn't follow them but bc the Revenge didnt have one lol

ugh ed's tits look so good what the hell

ed in his head instantly associates the phrase "calico jack" with someone going "WHOOHOO" at the top of their lungs

oughu FUCK i did not fucking realize this but ed is taking hornigold's presence here as confirmation that he's not loveable. earlier hornighost said "you're afraid you're unlovable" but then when he's on the cliff and he's like "you brought me here because you hate yourself" ed is like "im not loveable." ohhhhhh fuck

and then hornigold is like "and you're afraid to do anything about it. but im not" and then throws the rock off the cliff. this is the shittiest part of ed's brain calling him a pussy for not killing himself and telling him he deserves to die. fuuuuuuuuck me.

oh boy okay. ed got yanked off the cliff. stede is heading into the secret room. idk if i even have anything to say about the mermaid sequence like i cant believe this shit is real. fuck. this is a fever dream. they really just... wrote this. filmed it. put rhys darby in a fish tail. FUCK

ok the two things i have to say about this. first: the fucking flashback montage in this sequence makes me stop breathing like every single fucking time. secondly: when theyre face-to-face in ed's mermaid fantasy there's a split second where ed sort of jolts forward a tiny tiny tiny half of an inch. and i have no idea if it's intentional. but it makes me think of how in the "you wear fine things well" scene ed TOTALLY STEPS IN THINKING STEDE'S ABOUT TO KISS HIM.

WRITTEN BY ALYSSA LANE AND ALEX SHERMAN. SHOUTOUT TO THOSE GUYS.

[night-dark-woods]

5, 7, 15 for the fic asks!!

thank you!!! this got extremely long.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

oooh hm. idk about Never, but ive been rotating the idea of Chalco and Aunor interacting bc the different ways they orbit around Ikora FASCINATE me, and the things that have been asked of them are very different. it would have to be epistolary i think and while i DO think i have enough primary sources to get their voices and values alright (letters from Aunor etc, and then WQCE my beloved), im not confident in my ability to do epistolary, & also i'd need something specific for them to argue about (that i also am interested enough in to litigate thru character POVs).

i've yet to decide if I'm accepting the TFS ending cutscene panel where Ikora is using strand, bc im suuuper ambivalent on Ikora using any darkness subclass- i need to re-listen to a bunch more post-campaign stuff to see how i feel about it, bc i know she talks to Mara a LOT in mission voicelines, and i think a lot of their past conflict has been over Mara's antipathy towards the Light & focus on balance over sheer faith in the Traveler (not religious Faith-faith, as we've talked abt before, bc i dont think Ikora sees the Traveler as a *god* like Zavala does- it's like gravity or thermodynamics its simply *true,* and can be explained. its not something that requires faith or sacrifice.)

but if i decide to accept that as canon then i think that would make a FASCINATING argument because Aunor has been Ikora's hunting dog for YEARS, cold-blooded killer putting down guardians who fall to darkness, and i think the sheer betrayal (from Aunor's POV) of Ikora changing her position on that would cause SUCH a crisis of faith for Aunor (what does that mean for what she's done in Ikora's name? what does that mean for how she can live with the weight of it?), and i think constrasting that with Chalco being Ikora's right-hand man (her silly rabbit / does she call you that / no) BUT without the blind loyalty that Petra has for Mara ("you are not the queen and i am NOT one of her cadre") could be sooo fun bc it wouldn't be a simple "Aunor mutiny Chalco loyal." i just dont know if Actually Writing it will provide more enrichment for me than just rotating the concept in my head.

that got long!!! and also ive partially convinced myself to work on it eventually lol.

anyway. that's the main one that i can think of, that isnt a "this scenario sounds hot BUT i dont want to write it bc there isnt enough character work to make the logistical nightmare of writing porn worth it" LMFAO

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

5-ish?

- Elsie&Amanda (nicknamed "horsegirl movie but its a robot with dysphoria") where Elsie needs help fixing some part of her body and she can't do it by herself for some reason and then has to deal with the fact that Amanda regards her body with a simple honest appreciation that Elsie will NEVER feel for herself bc of when and how she became an exo!!! her own mother calls her body a "walking lazaretto" and she watched her father die horribly for this technology!!! god!!!

- Ikora's fight with Madhir & how she let him eat her ability to want anything. god. Ikora Rey woman that you are. also inspired by the way the demon works in dunmeshi bc i think the Ahamkara should work more like that. fuck monkey's paw genie trick wishes, getting exactly what you wished for and in doing so losing part of Who You Are is so much better. the Ahamkara aren't evil tricksters they are PREDATORS they are the very tippy top of the food chain and as dunmeshi says. to eat is the sole privilege of the living. there is no moral weight to that no matter how violent and that makes the violence of it far more interesting!!!

- somewhere between 3 and 5 high-concept porn fics, 2 at WIP stage and several that may or may not get written, all Petra-centric bc i (and Jackie) love to put that dyke in situations (all have Mara/Petra/Sjur as a given established relationship, the two WIPs are focused on Mara/Petra and Petra/Sjur & the ones that may just stay as ideas have bonus Petra/Amrita(/other corsairs) & Petra(/Sjur)/Amanda)

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

song lyrics mostly!!! often the one i was listening to a lot while writing/thinking about it, or one that makes me feel like that post thats like "song that reminds me of my favorite character comes on and i make the most unwell expression known to man."

the problem is i want the vibe of the whole song to mostly fit which means i've recently become aware that i nearly exclusively listen to sad music, apparently, bc i could not find a Single Song i like that fit the very fluffy/conflict-free Amanda/Sloane fic i wrote recently, so instead its both a line from the fic and a bit of a pun on the content lol: follow-through (impact play)

[straycalamities]

Your post made me curious about Julien.... Would love to hear about him and Andrews relationship

hmm...the conundrum with that is i would like to show it one day so how much to tell...

the thing abt this is julian has ALWAYS been written in andrews life. one of the constants of his story no matter how much he changes. (he used to be named Matty) but ive uh...been a chicken to properly show it because uh its HEAVY.

so hm...i've gone over andrew's family life before so it's not meh to go over it again i think...

that's also mostly stayed the same.

readmore bc...ya boys gonna get long-winded

so andrew has a very strict mother with very high expectations of her children, but especially him. his father is more lax and easy-going, pretty carefree tbh, but bc of this its to a fault where he also just..doesnt want to confront his wife. so things kinda..go out of control in the household as far as...his mom's weird like..competition thing between andrew and his sister

so andrew has a twin sister Alana (anyone remember Jackie? yea) and she's pretty naturally good at whatever she puts her mind to. not that she doesnt bust her ass, but things just? come to her. it's just how it is. and she's very much a daddy's girl which pushes andrew into the role of momma's boy. so then it becomes andrew's dad and alana vs andrew's mom and andrew. except. it's pretty much only andrew's mom pushing this narrative, but she's a very convincing person and is the kinda person to naturally command a room

alana is also a naturally curious person so she likes to pick up hobbies and things and practice them until she's over it or good at it or both. and thus..andrew gets pushed into these things too, to not be outdone

the thing about andrew, though, is that he's got a more particular way that he needs to engage with things to actually pick things up and learn them. first of all, he's a very kinetic learner so just reading or hearing a lecture about it doesn't do anything for him. and unfortunately he doesn't have anyone in his life early on (teachers nor family) who understand this about him. they just think there's something wrong with him or off about him or that he's lazy/doesn't care.

but andrew cares. oh he cares. way too much. and he works. so hard. to try to match with the expectations weighing on him, but it just! doesn't happen! no matter how hard he tries! he can't absorb what he's reading! he can't process what he's hearing! when he DOES get the chance to just get his hands on things and figure things out, he shines

and alana tries to help because despite it all, she cares a lot about him. she tries to show him things or tell him what helped her, but it's just..different. the things that work for her, dont't work for him. and she also can't be with him a lot because she has a lot going on. she has big aspirations and she has lots of friends (more things he struggles with) how did they end up so different u_u

so andrew's daily life is very very stressful. he feels like he's always under watch, under scrutiny, every little thing is being judged, weighed, and measured. and that just makes everything much harder for him. he eventually learns over-time to perform great under pressure but that's because the pressure in his adult-life is nothing like the pressure of his childhood lmao

(and if this is a universe where he's got the necromancy thing goin on, there's THAT whole can of worms too. bc of how looked down on and oo scary necromancy is)

so its like..andrew does have his aspirations, his dreams. he wants to be an astronaut! :) and he maintains some semblance of that goal his whole life. he just likes space! he thinks its neat and would rather just spend all day learning about space than anything he's supposed to be learning. not that it's easier, but he's more motivated lmao

he's a C or low B student (idk how to translate american schooling marks into anything else sorry..american moment) and so he's not doing...too bad, but definitely not enough to his teachers or his parents. and he's "inconsistent" bc go figure sometimes lessons are more to his learning capabilities and he excels so oh no now ppl have Proof He Can Do It why cant he do it All The Time. fantastic.

being so focused on making everyone proud or proving everyone wrong in other cases (yes andrew does operate on a level of spite) has andrew finding little time for himself. especially bc his moms the type to not like uhh idle activities. everythings gotta have a Point of Growth. literally the only reprieve is that his mom works away from home a lot, but she'll definitely call or video-call often to make up for that fact. and andrew's The One she has her eye on. he's Her responsibility to better

(the thing about his mom is god she's a strict hard-ass but she does love him uh...so i'm not trying to make it all Ooo Evil Heartless Mother Time. nah she cares but boy is she awful at showing it. and that's not an excuse but..yaknow. it is how it is. her whole thing abt being such a tyrant is that she's worried about him and wants him to do better and Be better and so she's gonna force it down his throat til it takes ...rip)

ofc his family all has their bonding pleasant moments its not all hell all the time and like i said his dad and sister are more uh..better at showing they care but still not..amazing. the whole household like i said before in another post is more reserved than like..ji-hoon's for example who freely give hugs and stuff

anyways so alll of this uh..stuff is to explain: Andrew Doesn't Have Friends LMAO his entire elementary school experience is spent not having time for friends and eventually just not knowing how to Make them bc he had no practice or experience doing so. and the other kids don't think much about him because he doesn't make time for them? they've got other ppl to hang out with. and when a kid does make an attempt he fucks it up somehow or his mom scares them off with the Restrictions for how andrew is allowed to interact with other kids (if andrew wouldnt tell them tho they wouldnt have to know..smh)

by the time he's transitioning to middle school is when he meets julian. julian ALSO does not have friends (gee wonder why (youll see why)) and julian sees andrew not having friends either and thinks well! time to have this loner be MY friend. and julian is a pretty charismatic person when he wants to be. he knows how to small talk and keep conversations going and all that. i say this like a tween julian already has evil intentions but tbh..nah it DOES honestly start off innocent enough. julian has a lot going on at home too and wants someone to be his friend. simple as that. andrew doesnt already have a group, so..easy choice there. should be

the stuff that usually scares ppl away doesnt work on julian because he's a very anti-rules disobedient sort at this point already anyways. he just sees it as a challenge really so even if andrew makes things awkward by parroting his moms rules on how he can interact with other kids based on her paranoias about the typical Child and what they could teach Her Precious Baby it doesnt phase him. he gonna do it anyway

they do have interests in common, turns out! they like some of the same music. some of the same shows/movies. and things like that. the rest of it Becomes shared interests bc julians the type to go "hey i like this. now you will too" and for the most part? their shared tastes go a long way and andrew DOES end up liking most things julian introduces him to

at first julian does kinda..have no choice but to follow the Hard Rules that andrews got for hanging out so..they pretty much only see each other at school, they start picking up writing letters for each other to read only when they get home so they can write a reply and they get kinda lengthy as more topics get added lol

but eventually julian starts convincing andrew to like..shake things up a bit. asks where he lives. turns up at his window. just to chaaat ofc. theyre not gonna get in trouble psh.. its just talking. then it becomes andrew calling julian at home even tho he's not allowed to be on the phone, but if he does it at night then nobody can catch him (or if his moms away bc tbh does his dad rly care..? but andrew assumes he does)

and so julian and andrew get steadily closer and closer that way and andrew is. ecstatic. his first friend! and a really close one! they're best friends! and for julians credit, he's still just thinking "yay i have a friend. someone that makes life suck less :) even if he's a dweeb who i need to teach to live life"

and okay well anything further about them needs content warnings: very unhealthy, toxic relationship talk. manipulation

so unfortunately. julian has a very uhh extreme view on his life. he likes to exaggerate everything (usually for the worst) and jus tlike in general. not just describing it, he actually feels like his life is the worst life anyone could ever have. his parents split up when he was young and now he's being raised by his grandma who is also strict but in a way where its like..shes strict on him but lives kinda like..whatever, herself. shes very do as i say not as i do but julian hangs onto the Example she's putting off and hates her guts for having the Audacity to try to make him do different when she cant even do it herself. he also has an uncle who has his fingers in a lot of very shady pots and so julian is keen to things he rly shouldnt be at a young age

so with all that, he has a tendency to kinda lash out at the world around him. thats sorta his...uh version of coping. and with so many ppl putting him at arms length mostly because of THIS part of his behavior especially, he's only got one person at his side. loyal. always there for him.

unfortunately thats andrew

and it starts small like..playful insults. nothing rly anything at first it could just be the way he shows affection. but then the insults hit parts that sting deeper and deeper. and get more and more personal. and julian starts making almost memes? of some of andrews faults, weaknesses, and insecurities as if that's just one of their Inside Jokes they have, yknow, as best pals. so andrew feels like oh well i have to like this bc its Special and its just for me. i should appreciate that he's doing this. nobody else has this. and he's not being Mean he's just being playful

and unfortunately the more andrew lets him get away with it, the worse julian gets about it. the thing is that nobody's taught andrew self-worth yet. he's been too busy trying to be what other people want him to be. so here he is, also being what julian wants him to be: a punching bag. but he doesnt realize thats what it is. he just thinks julian wants andrew to be the type to be "playfully rude" with but, again, im saying julian goes way past that

and as julian gets older, the more he reserves what used to be how he was with everyone, being him, being genuine in all the worst and best ways, with only andrew. so everyone else gets this very like..agreeable neutral kinda personality out of julian. so then andrew also sees THAT and thinks wow..i really am special

and as years go by and they go from middle school to high school and social situations change around them, andrew feels even more lucky he's gotten somebody special to him and that he's special to because by highschool it feels like everyones already got their cliques and their partners-in-crime and he'd feel like a mega loser without julian. and julians shown him and taught him so many cool things that give him things to actually talk about with other ppl when they Engage with him?

but yeah throughout highschool julian teaches andrew more and more rulebreaking habits. they even set up ways to make money at school w stuff like..selling test answers or snacks or stuff when they can get away with it. or skipping classes or other things. vandalizing things. pranking ppl (harmless :) ofc..but maybe only physically so)

so we return to julian's uncle. liek i said he's a shady dude. well. he starts involving an older julian in his shady shit. so now julian and andrew are peddling fkn weed and prescription drugs around their school and neighborhood. eventually they're hotwiring vehicles to steal. (kinda uhh tragically this is actually where andrew figures out he's pretty good at cars and likes them a lot and even if he's having a constant crisis about Being Awful, he's also uhhh more motivated to learn how to do a new thing and Be Good At It. bc that's the thing isnt it? he's finally Good At Something) and stealing other things too

and i kinda quickened the pace here but its like..well it does escalate pretty quickly because at some point julian has andrew wrapped around his little finger and tho there are the times one or both of them get caught and andrew gets in trouble, has a crisis, and swears off doing anything like that ever again!! julian just has to warm andrew up to it again. because by highschool julian also has the upper hand in that he's become andrew's gay awakening. so now andrew has a huge crush on him and especially wants to impress him and keep him around and notice him and find him cool and worthwhile

and at first julian is sorta confused?? but diversity win! the manipulative toxic asshole best friend is also into boys! but giving andrew everything he wants wouldnt be very fun would it? he has something to dangle over his head. and he's gotten to the point where this is high risk shit. andrew could very much change his mind about everything about them and leave julian and the longer time goes on, the more paranoid julian becomes of this very thing happening. so he holds onto whatever leashes he can get twisted around andrew

he'll entertain his attraction but never clarifies anything. never gives him like..bold affection. never makes it clear how he feels or if he's even completely fine with it? which adds pressure onto andrew that he's just making all this up. or he's being the weirdo, pushing something on julian who might be straight or something

outside of julian tho, andrew's family is noticing his behavior bc i mean..also hes obviously getting caught doing some of this stuff. and his grades are even worse. and sometimes they get calls abt him missing school? and they try to intervene bc like..andrews got One friend. its gotta be this guy. so they try to ground andrew, ban julian, all kinds of stuff but they're slippery and they've got all sorts of workarounds. and ultimately, they still go to the same school. and..sadly. this, at first, just makes andrew desperate to keep julian all the more bc now he's beome this like..symbol of freedom and having Fun and living life to the fullest and anything related to home starts being associated with prison, suffocation, snuffing out his personality and everything he's learned about himself and like..even if he doesnt rly has Friends outside of julian (he's convinced julian is the only friend he rly wants/needs) he's still seen as cool! the Bad Boy, the Hookup for cool shit (snacks, drugs etc) he's a hit sometimes with the Le Popular Kids ooo... and he might even get invited to get-togethers with julian (julian is actually the introvert to andrews extravert but he Humors ppl for the image and he likes the way andrew always looks at him like a lost puppy when he's trying to figure out what to say in convos with other ppl)

but overtime, julians just gotten too comfortable with being too rough with andrews mentality and his emotions. bc he's never stopped his absolute drilling into andrews squishy parts in order to make himself feel better. or somehow blaming andrew for everything, even julians own shortcomings. and playing hot n cold with andrews emotions and etc. like there's just a lot he does that keeps andrew eternally unsure of where he's standing with julian or if he's doing things Correct or in a way that makes julian Happy. and as andrew gets older and starts Understanding things, he starts Understanding that hey...there's actually a lot about this that he doesnt like. he starts trying to...ask julian to lighten up. to consider his feelings on things. that he wants to do..things he wants to do? why do they always do things julian wants to do. why do they always get into what julian likes but never what andrew likes.

julian is...surprised and he does not Like this change. doesnt like that andrew is trying to cause problems? in their relationship? like why make this a thing? when its nothing? it was fine before? but the thing about letting andrew meet ppl, gain reasons for ppl to wanna talk to him and know him is that he gets to know how other ppl are and how they feel abt him. and though he hasnt made any other Friends, he's just learning how..Normal ppl are. and how julian with him is Not Normal. and its in a bad way bc andrew feels bad! he feels sick to his stomach sometimes. and nobody gets to him like julian does! and he thought before it was the crush but now he's starting to realize...he doesnt actually feel that way about julian anymore because he's just gotten so...Cruel

well now when andrew gets grounded/banned from julian, he doesn't fight it. he doesn't find the loopholes anymore. he lets things go and just kinda...tries to see how he feels? and he finds he...feels better. there's ways he feels worse, but there's a lot more ways he feels like he can breathe. like he's a person. and he likes it so...he starts to just ween himself off julian. and julian starts to act up more bc he doesnt have his usual ways to Cope and gets in trouble more, being at school Less and that just causes more distance

and julian is finally living with what he was most terrified of. and andrew is willingly? throwing him away? and he cant have that. he's at his wits end and panicking

new content warning: whew boy suicide mention/suicide-baiting

and thats all i rly have to say aint it

he holds the fact over his head that if andrew actually does officially cut ties with him, julian will kill himself. that he has no reason to live if he doesn't have andrew. that andrew is his everything and the light of his life, his joy, all that. and he cant't just? leave him like this?

and at first andrews like wait no this is awful dont do that..im sorry and like..tentatively keeps his ties to julian, tries to continue things the wya they were! just uh..different! bc if julian wants andrew to stay then..compromises have to happen okay? and julian says he agrees but catch things getting worse again and andrew in the same boat he was before

distancing

julian freaking out in a panic at 2am on a phone call describing what he's about to do til andrew apologizes again

rinse

repeat

but andrew eventually is just...tired. man. he's getting closer to graduating. he really does NOT need this. it's taking such a heavy toll on him bc rly! nothing else terrible in his life ever really went away, this is just an addition. it's not that his mom saw him acting out and thought oh...this is bc im too hard on him, nah, she stays hard. she gets Harder. his moms stern and affectionless and doesnt understand his plights, his sisters always so busy with her life, and his dad is out of touch. and mostly: andrew doesnt want to bother anyone with his problems. its his own fault, after all. its his mess. and he also is terrified of what anyone would think of even..half the things he'd have to admit to get them to understand. or even a fourth tbh

so one day he just..has had enough. julian threatens to tell his parents what he's done, what he's really like even if it brings julian down too. julian plans to be dead anyways after so what does it matter

and andrew just tells him to do it and hangs up

he feels sick to his stomach for days, but also is too fed up to call and apologize or take it back. he flip-flops on both so much he ends up doing nothing at all

and this is where julian is officially out of his life. i call it Schrodinger's Julian at this point bc did he? or didnt he? well what is the truth is he just does not show up again. so andrew is free but..he literally does not know at what cost. and the guilt eats him up alive for the rest of his life as well as all the damage literally going from like 12-13 to 18 with what this shit did to him

(cw: suicide stuff over)

this is where some of the stories diverge? umm..he either goes immediately to college or waits. with the college timeline Also diverging to oh he makes it somehow or oh he has to drop out

my default tho is that he does try, but he has to drop out. and makes an absolute mess of himself while he's trying. college parties and nightlife and everything else. sex drugs and rock n roll pretty much. everything he knows about connecting to other people is completely Fucked and so he thinks he's making connections but it's not real. and nothing feels like it did with julian but that should be a good thing? or should it. he misses the old julian and he misses the good parts and he feels like he'll never have that with someone again or that maybe...if he did...they'd do the same thing. maybe its dangerous to be that close to anyone. but oh he wants it. so bad.

and we'll continue with my usual story but uh (cw: drugs/drug-use)

we have to delve a bit into the fact he becomes an addict. because he very much does. with all the escapism he does in college because he's just trucking along without processing a drop of this? no therapy? not even someone to vent to or hold onto? nah man. shits rough. and he loses himself in many kinds of drugs but heroin is his Drug of Choice and also loses himself in other people but in shallow ways. he becomes a party animal but in the worst way and that becomes his "college" is just this whole social scene that he's not even engaging with in a meaningful way bc he's too terrified of earnest closeness with another human being

meanwhile his grades tank and he just...stops going. needless to say he becomes very much a disaster of a human being at the end of this. the thing is tho..its all self-internalized. he doesnt take it out on other ppl or even want to make it other ppls problems. he tries to just come off as this rly fun guy whos up for literally anything. and like yeah ppl who hang w him enough can definitely See Somethings Up but he's literally just like oh its nothing! its fine im fine! bc no if he opens up about anything everyones gonna hate and abandon him

and unfortunately this gets back to his mom and she uh...cuts him off. completely. if he wont get cleaned up. if he wont just...BE better jst DONT be this trainwreck of a son or else. dont associate with her. thinking maybe itd be a shock enough he'd just Get Better? (lmao) but lmao no. and he rly spirals bad after that but luckily his dad and his sister still sneak contact with him, doing what they can? with someone who doesnt wanna make anything anyone elses' problem and insists he's fine everythings. Fine.

what Does finally have him like?? find hope again? and cling to it and start to eventually put his life back on its feet again depends on the story im writing but something eventually always does and he always has the same Sponsor to help him :'3 darius...(his old roommate from when he was a teacher at thornville..remember that guy? yea rewrote him into here in a different way) and idk..things do look up for andrew! it's just...a very much uphill battle and that's kinda usually where i place him in like Current Events in whatever sceneario/story im thinking of is after he's gotten on his feet (shakily but he's there) and he's usually a mechanic (sometimes moonlights as a necromancer for hire as well) and he's Working himself up to trying college again but hes taking his time. and he's got some sort of support circle (darius, ji-hoon, and sometimes others)

ji-hoon he actually meets as one of his roommates in college and it takes a lot of Effort from ji-hoon but he sees andrew struggling and kinda nags his way into his life to help and is usually one of the reasons andrew gets inspired to get better bc ji-hoon is literally everything julian wasnt but like in a good way. he cares, unconditionally about ppl in general but especially andrew because idk they just Click right. and like i said in another post, ji-hoon's family basically adopts andrew as well and they're so affectionate and loving and give lots of affirmations and stuff and andrew probably cries bc he's never felt that much love tbh and then feels like shit abt it bc crying is dumb, but then everyone else cries too (happy tears) and its like oh

idk this is where i start having lot sof tangential thoughts so ill leave it here but uh! yeah! so that's the story of julian and andrew! and the damage it did! and yes! this is true in every iteration of andrew ive ever written! (the julian and childhood family stuff part, not necessarily all the rest that comes after, a lot of that's new)

[her-canine-teeth]

Isobel by flower face - notes

pov jackie blue, pov shauna red (not rlly pov but. idk when its abt them)

You’ll never learn to lie

technically she lied to her pretty often so this is just not true. but it fits w the melody idk

say your French goodbye

idk how the French say goodbye. but shes like literlly saying her goodbye here and i think its funny bc nélisse is can french

Stay up in the blue glow, try to rearrange

theyre both staying up and its blue. jackie is trying to rearrange whats happening; she imagines shauna coming outside when, in reality, shauna is going to sleep.

All your insecurity and encyclopaedic rage

by rearranging what happens she automatically has to change what came before; the argument. put it in a context in which shauna is still her friend, still loves her, still comes outside and gets her. still cares for her.

ultimately she doesnt. (cant)

Do you still think you’re a killer?

shauna thinks its her fault

Or that you could be if you tried?

refers to jackie trying to banish shauna from the cabin and therefore out of her life (in a sense), which is p sure as close to killing for them as it gets I imagine. (codependency captial letters)

Always thought that you could do it if you couldn’t see their eyes

she did know that she loved shauna. didn't know how much, didn't know (or wasnt fully aware of).

she might've thought that she'd be able to get shauna to go one day, or to let her go; (she tried to, during the argument. personally i think she can't let shauna go farther than that though.)

as in; she wasnt aware of her codependency, and wouldve said that shes able in any way to cut shauna off but! she literally never thought about that being an option, or a possibility like ever (she literally had their whole future - together - planned out) so. do with that what you will

[talking]

its supposed to be a flashback idk if thats obvious; ties together what both of them think about (the arguing scene); what haunts them, both of them, for the rest of their lives (though Jackies is significantly shorter.)

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

she does probably

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

jackie stays after her death. shaunas not allowing herself to move on, forever doomed to not only like have ur bff die on you which is honestly bad enough but to see her physically. not bc she wants to in that sense but bc she has to (needs to. cant live without her, though she never really lived all that much with her neither)

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

doesnt have much to do with the scene. BUT their names have the same meaning. do you wish your parents gave you someone elses name. do you wish we werent connected from birth. do you wish we wouldnt share such an important aspect of our self. do you wish you never knew me (like you did). do you wish we were never best friends. do you wish we never met.

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

cheating.

You used to hold your body like a gun

turning away from shauna/rejection (physical. as soccer players their body is like prettyy important to them, and on top of that is their physicality with each other and yk. being teenage girl i guess anywaysss i thinj all of that sorta amplifies to The Body being v v important also for whatever theve got going on GOD i cant think)

Now you give yourself to anyone

(shauna pov but its abt jackie) condemning her bc shes with travis. 'anyone' inn the sense of 'anyone other than me (shauna)' or maybe 'who the fuck is travis' (hes not important. a faceless shadow in a crowd consisting of only him)

Are you right back where you started,

pining over jackie

Or have you found another way?

consuming her completely. without any objections

Sugar rush, a stranger’s backyard, the devil’s holiday

yeah idk

You watch yourself in fragments, amongst the leaves,

'yourself' because. they're one.

And you conclude that you never were much more

Than a reflection in a pool

the power shauan had over jackie; jackie asking herself who she is without shauna. If she is without shauna. if she ever was even with shauna, or not; never more than a reflection of her, a poor imitation, bound to break on the smallest ripple.

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

Do you still wake up wrapped around an empty space?

Do you only know the good days once they’ve slipped away?

Do you wish that he would call you by another name?

Do you pour another drink out for the same mistakes?

[hoohoobeanie]

kit i just need to let u know that in cool about it some of them are also canonically in a production of legally blonde (bc i am in it rn) and we don’t have all the same theatre kids but for yours i just wanna say kimmy is so delta nu coded (margot especially) amanda is paulette coded and angela is so enid coded! sorry if i’m being insane at u right now but i thought it was a crazy coincidence and i’m curious if my predictions are right lol

aaaa i love this !! i was part of the directing team for a legally blonde production a couple of years ago, and i love it to death !! im happy to talk abt how i arranged the cast list for this (i spent so long thinking abt it)

so as we know, jackie is elle. i thought, i need someone with power and strength who has the most perfect comedic timing. and i was just like yes. jackie as elle. perfect.

damien is emmett, casual boy next door vibes. also would kill to hear him sing chip on your shoulder.

tommy is callahan. just. professor tommy vibes took over. sooo head bitch in charge of him. also him singing blood in the water? would be insane.

amanda IS paulette. weird boston woman giving life advice? with a love for ireland? thats amanda right there!!

chanse is warner. just think about it for a second. its giving straight chanse vibes. chanse as a himbo? yes. this choice was bcos of him playing off of jackie, and also because of my next casting decision.

angela is vivienne. we know she can play an uptight prudish girlie (hello grace chastity). and then the changela dynamic for vivienne and warner? yes.

kimmy is brooke windham. just. who's got the energy and charisma for that role? only kimmy. she would ace those high kicks.

as for more secondary characters, i have Erin, Mallory and Heidi as the 3 Delta Nus.

and i love Rachel and Tommy's dynamic, so i wanted to include her, and i think she would slay as Enid.

i think i'd put Olivia as chutney because nobody else can be that weird.

[gayspock]

ok im lbing this bc we're not gonna get more for a long time

ok initial thoughts: zombies by the cranberries sent me a little loopy. im sorry. its a heartbreaking song, its a heartbreaking scene. but playing those both together is the funniest fucking thing you could do ever. heavens

second thoughts: i know there was a lotof, like, backlash abt the last ep regarding the present day girlies "giving in to lottie so easily" so its funny to see them ppl owned so early. LOL. although this cant end well and i have already been spoiled and i will say i saw that coming sort of but thought "no they wouldnt do that... tht sucks" but anyways

THIRD thoughts and last time im gonna open a thought with that: literally i said all that, but i know last week ppl also complaine saying they didnt "explain the game well enough" which i thought was stupid bc if they sat there and did thatd be clunky and dumb and ruin the horror of it so now misty is just exposition dumping to lottie im like for gods sake. and in some ways i do kinda get what theyre trying to do with it (misty would be frank about it and clear and etc) but i still think its just a bit alrighhttt alrighttt to watch

this is making me feel sick...

SHAUNA BEING THE DESIGNATED BUTCHER TOO... heavens and a bit.

TH

NOT THE DESIGNATED T...

this is so fucking crazy

HER COVERING HER EYES. I AM SICK. YOU KNOW WHEN THE WET, BIG BROWN PUPPY DOG EYES ARE GONE THE WORLD IS DARK AND CRUEL

ok but seeing trav crying over havi like that . meanwhile shauna was fucking sobbing with jackies corpse holding it for months. everything in the world mental

UGHHH FUCKING WALTERRRRR

SORRY IVE MADE MY FEELINGS CLEAR. I DO NOT LIKE HIS FUNCTION AS A CHARACTER. I THINK MISTY'S ARC WOULD BE SO MUCH FUCKING STRONGER WITHOUT HIM. GET MORE CREATIVE. YOU DONT NEED HIM . and its like hes not bad hes fine but its so annoying that they give him more FUCKING ATTENTION THAN FUCKING NAT AT THIS POINT

plus her dynamic with nat is so much better

i love adult shauna scheming. always gets them into a bit of a pickle. classic!

COACH BEN COMING BACK TO STIUATIONS IS FUCKING UNFATHOMABLY F- NATALIE WHAT HAPPENED

I FIGURED OUT WHERE HAVI WAS HIDING

DOES ANYONE HEAR HIM

YOURE N

I FEEL SICK

his little gorgeous babygirl tear.

coach ben your gay ass needs to move fast before the second most homophobic fast food chain after chick fil a opens up in the canadian wilderness with a limited menu of #1 fucking d

FUCK OFF ELIJAH WOODFUCK OFF KEVYN THIS IS SICK. UGHHHH YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST.

UGH

THIS WHOLE CONVO IS SO BORING IM ASLEEP WORST GUYS IN THE WORLD FUCK OFF THERES NO WAY WE'RE WASTING TIME ON THESE GUYS WHEN THERE'S LITERAL GIRLS EATING GIRLS

"A COVEN OF THEM ALL UP TO NO GOOD" OK that kinda ruled

JEFF WIN JEFF WIN JEFF WIN HIS BIGGG JEFFING COCK FUCKING RULES . NO JEFFING ABOUT.

YOU KILLED HIM?

OKAY jeff is raising the bar here im happy with jeff and walter jeffing and waltering and jaltering and weffing

is weffing something sexual it sounds sexual i hope to god not

shauna is so mother making a meal for the family 😊

THE WOBBLY HEART . MY GOD. DONT- DONT GIVE IT TO TRAVIS. DONT FUCKING LOOK AT HIM WITH THE WOBBLY HEART. COME ON BRO.

hes

um

raw.....

this is a little um

god the crazy parallels of lottie in the past fucking ruined over the ritual and lottie of the present being the most caught up in it. hellaur

IF YOU MAKE CALLIE DEAL WITH THAT ROTTEN COP I'LL KILL US ALL

SHAUNA DRAWING THE CARD?

"IT WAS JUST US!" "is there a difference?" EXACTLY. SAY THAT AT THE FUCKING C- SORRY BUT THEIR SLOW ASS RUNNING MADE ME LOSE IT

TH

THE TRUNK OF THE FUCKING CAR HELP THATS SO FUNNYYYY KEVYNNNNNN

CALLIE WITH A GUN

HI... OK. BUT THE ... OK IS ANYONE GOING CRAZY RIGHT NOW

i mean other than the girlies in animal masks in th e woods

lottie: everybo-

SHUT UP ITS CRAZY EVERY TIME THEY CUT FROM A FUTURE SCENE TO A PAST SCENE I GO STUPID IN THE HEAD

lottie: can you fucking kill me

lottie: can you fucking kill me and can i also elect the next girl president

ANTLER QUEEN?

NATALIE?

YOU MAKE ME SICK

YOU MAKE ME SICK THERES NOWAYYYYYYY

NATALIE NO MY SEET SWEETBABYGIRL

HEY

HI

AND HELLO

LISA....

LISA. NO. SURELY NOT.

OH MY GOD

NATALIE YOU ARE SO....

the nattielot stocks are literall crazy the nattielot stocks are literally in turmoil its like a rollercoaster its literally a thrillride they blow your brain right out up and down and round and round til your FUCKING BRAIN COMES OUT YOUR NOSE AS DINNER SURPRISE

travis......................

my god natalie atalie no NA QUEEN CA RD QU

NM

M

M

M

M

M

HI AND HELLO AND HI

SORRY . THATS TISTE DTHIS IS TWISTED THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING THING EVER IM ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS EVERYBODY VETTER FUCKING KILL

STOP PLAYING RADIOHEAD AND SLOWMOING HER FUCKING DEATH IS THERE NO FUCKING DIGNIT

NO THIS IS

YOU ALL.... ARE THE WORST.....

I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING EXISTENCE

ITS NOT EVIL ITS JUST HU

THE NATLOTTIE STOCKS JUST BURST

I FEEL ILL I HATE MY ST- NOT THE DRUG OVERDOSE. COME ON . I JSUT WANT TO FUCKING CRY THIS ALL FUCKING SUCCKS.

walter: um...... >_<

you guys fucking suck sending her there i know i know theres so few options but fu- VAN. PUT THOSE BIG WET EYES AWAY. PUT THAT AWE-INDUCED WET SMILE AWAY. COME ON GIRL. PULL IT TOGETHER

hey shauna

most normal girl in the world

coach ben said FUCK women. WOW. ALRIGHT. i mean it was... RIGHT LIKE HE?

HE SERIOUSLY JUST DECIDED FUCK THESE GIRLS OH MY GOD YES TYHIS IS THE FUCKING ENDING I WANTED

van being the last out vantler queen when?

THIS IS FUCKING NUTS

altrnateively the wilderness being like :/ you didnt need to do that to havi guys....

ANYWAYS GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

[natsboygirlfriend]

ranking all the yellowjackets character cause I need to write it down to figure it out and I'm bored

the 90s characters only cause idgaf about the present timeline characters (except for callie)

1. Natalie scatorccio

my poor precious baby. deserves everything and it's way too mischaractized

2. van palmer

VAN pls don't die in s3 I need you

3. javi martinez

JAVIIIIII 😭😭😭 you didn't deserve to dieeee 😭😭

4. Jackie taylor

she's like me fr

5. lottie matthews

my schizophrenic deer baby

6. Taissa turner

UGHHH YOUR SO INTERESTING I LOVE YOUUUU

7. akaliah

she's alive in s3 I can feel it in my nuggets. she's to precious to die

8. travis martinez

I used to hate him alot but then I randomly started feeling bad for him like 2 months ago so he's fine now I guess. I get him.

9. Shauna shipman

I love her but I don't like her IDK. like I feel bad for her and everything but jeez girl rent a rage room or something.

10. gen and melissa

dumb and dumber I had to put them in the same spot I love them

11. Laura lee

laura lee :((( she's so low cause i don't think about her very much but i love her

12. mari

she's also like me. cooking food and being a hater.

13. Misty Quigley

I DONT WANNA HEAR ABYTHING ABOUT THIS I JUST CANT LIKE HER I TRIED, idk mannn 😭 I see adult Misty and teen Misty as two different characters and adult Misty is funny asf

14. coach ben

idc abt him? he's not interesting at all and annoying

[arolesbianism]

In other news Odile crashed my game during her friend quest. Smiles in pain.

[tomsmother]

Eeeeeee I love my life we chatted and laughed and I told holden how much I loved him and how long I've followed him AND I DIDNT CRY BUT IT WAS CLOSE and I said "I'm alone a lot so sometimes it's just me, my dog, and you .... hope that's not weird " and we hugged and his back was sweaty bc he has a sweating problem which I love...??? Only cuz its him LMAO and he has this horrible habit of getting Chipotle with no beans and SHITTING horribly so on the way we stopped for Chipotle in his honor and told him and he asked if we shit our pants HAHAHA and omfg jackie and MJ who I also fucking would kill for were so sweet and funny and complemented my tattoos and we hugged like 4 times LMAO and I made some good jokes hehe. Jackie is hot and charming and i melted and MJ and i are top surgery buddies and they said i looked good in a dress ugggg, literally laying in my hotel bed rn thinking of the night 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 also normally they go out and drink with the vip but they were all too hungover from the show last night. Which thank god cause I don't need to unleash my crazy on them who fucking KNOWS what I would say if I kept drinking around them! (AND I KNOW TOO MUCH ABT THEM PERSONALLY)

Oh ya and I'm in the hotel laying beside a girl I went on 1 tinder date with a year ago and neither of us texted each other afterwards right.... but when I got the notif this pod was going on tour in a city close to us in Canada I texted her out of the blue (because shes the only person i know who is obsessed like me), hey wanna drive to Washington to see page 7? And she responded IMMEDIATELY saying "I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TEXT YOU" so me and a one time tinder date that was nothing special drove 7 hours and stayed in a hotel together LMAO. Which we told them haha and jackie said if you're married in 5 years email us hahahqh ALSO had a blast driving with this girl and drinking with her last night and she wore a shirt that said I ❤️ submissive men

Wow sometimes life if fucking amazing and my leg pain ain't too bad today 😫😫 feeling blessed 🙏

eeeeeeEee I have vip tix to a show tonight where Ill get to meet a couple comedians I've LOVED for years, who's podcasts I've listened to multiple times over, who've literally kept me company when I've moved to new cities countless times & knew nobody. I literally talk abt them to my friends like I know them HAHAHAHHA omg I'm NERVY AND EXCITED I MAY CRY I literally love them

[that-wizard-oki]

Goddamnit now I’m thinking abt my pirates… i love my main one so much… her name’s Deadeye Jackie and she’s a musketeer and I cannot explain how badly she wants to single handedly murder the armada.

My swashbuckler’s handicapped and has a cleffed lip and is very gay and sings all the time. My witch doctor is in love with my musketeer, who rarely ever express emotion because Trauma of seeing ur parents get axed by steampunk robots.

My privateer is a noble family’s kid from mooshu and his parents got axed via mutiny- long story short him and my swash have a unlikely friends to lover arc and i *holds them in my hands* just think they’re neat

My buckaneer has dwarfism (yes she carries the biggest weapons on the market) and has the thickest Russian accent u ever heard. She’s such a mom but also so headstrong i love her i love all my pirates and goddamn do I actually need to play/finish the game fjsjfjdj

[candycrypt1d]

i have yet another group of beyburst ocs to share!! they were actually my first ocs for the fandom i designed and i decided to give em new life

from left to right, their names are ayumu, alistair, jackie, and hayato!

ayumu(he/him): very shy and seems soft but actually isn't, he's sort of edgy and has a bit of an anger problem. he struggles to express his feelings, but he is actually very kind beneath the rough surface. he's the team leader, though he thinks hayato should be instead. he hates public speaking.

alistair(he/him): asshole. has a huge inferiority complex and acts tough and mean just so people take him seriously. he needs more attention, he's very touch starved pls hug him. like ayumu, there is a softer side to him, he's just very used to burying it. at first he hates hayato with a passion, later starts crushing on ayumu. makes friends with everyone in the end.

jackie(she/they): alistair's twin sister, has golden child burnout. she's the favored one of the parents but she's one of the only ones who have seen alistair's soft side. jackie is very smart and is a strong blader, but she feels very pressured to be nothing but the best. needs a break. no one is allowed to call her jacqueline, not even her brother.

hayato(they/them): an extremely strong blader with a calm and collected personality, but they get startled easily and have a fierce rivalry with alistair. they’re the mom friend of the group, a supportive shoulder to cry on. they’re always surprised when someone returns all the love that they give out - hayato is very selfless and puts others before themselves. 

their beys as of season 1

ayumu: ancient amarok

alistair: adamant ares

jackie: jagged jupiter

hayato: hallowed hydra

pls let me know if you want to hear more abt them because i love them very much

[officialbillhader]

hi! im a sucker for meta posts so can I bug you to expand on your point of dennis' saves the day relating to his trauma, please?

Oh shoot okay im gonna try to word this in the best way possible wish me luck

Ok so the entire point of the gang saves the day is what the gang truly fantasizes about right? Here's what we have: charlie's is decently happy (lives a good life with the waitress), frank's is super happy (gets to eat hot dogs), dee's is happy basically (tbh ive already forgotten how hers end but she does have her dreams come true with acting and marrying josh grobin and divorcing him to get with brad pitt and also killing the gang (technically her abusers but thats a different story idc to get into bc this is a sitcom)), and mac's is happy (dies a martyr, ends up by beefcake god's side), but dennis's doesn't end happy. And i think we need to dissect it.

At the start, he acts with suave confidence and manliness, but immediately fails when he tries to talk the robber out of robbing the store and he gets shot in the head with barely any type of chance. Yet, he survives. Before he wakes in the hospital, we see a clip show of all his sex scenes, his psychotic breaks (hallucinating the mental hospital, marrying maureen on a whim, declaring himself god) and then we have jackie, both there bc shes a sexual conquest dennis has never managed despite his best efforts, and to remind the viewer she exists bc lets be real i forget her name every five seconds.

Also worth mentioning is how dee is not in his fantasy, and the other members of the gang leave him immediately the moment the doctor mentions them supporting him. They certainly dont support him.

He figures out his dick doesn't work. He doesnt care about his legs, he cares about his dick. If you ask me, theres an unhealthy obsession with his dick and the "joy", or rather, control it brings him. What you get aroused by is partly out of your control (you can certainly feed your obsessions, but no matter), however what you do with your genitals is your choice. He can manipulate all he wants to feel the sense of power and control and he can stick his dick in whatever he wants, as long as its his coice. Yet, for some reason, in his supposedly happy fantasy, his dick is broken. He's completely lost that means of control in his life, but if this is supposed to be a happy fantasy, that's actually what he wants, right?

Even without his dick, his one weapon of power, he still believes himself worthy of life. Once jackie denardo shows up, at least. Solely because of her breasts. Now its super interesting to think abt the ambiguity in which we dont know whether his dick ever works again. Yet, he works hard in order to walk again (and breakdance. I guess to prove his value as a man again but thats a stretch). When he walks again, jackie is proud of him, making him feel worthy. You could say that his legs working is basically a metaphor or connected to his dick, but then id say that theyre different appendages. Could go either way. Does it work or doesnt?

But theres no sex scene. Theres not even anything to imply they had sex. In fact, it's only the beginning that he directly stares at her breasts, the one thing this man cares about on her as show in previous episodes. They're basically covered up later too. So his fantasy kind of morphs into him simply wanting emotional support, but even his fantasy brain realizes this isnt feasible bc the moment he says he loves her, he's directly responsible for her being hit by a car.

Consequently, hes responsible for her losing her breasts. Also note that the doctor says "we did everything we could to save them" and he doesn't say that abt dennis's dick. Idk if that has a lot of significance but i wanted to mention it. Essentially, despite the earlier show of emotional wanting, he decides she isnt worth anything to him without her breasts. Even though we're not even sure his dick works. This kind of ties into how he values himself as a sexual being vs others as sexual beings (he can exist outside of sex but the women can't. Think him scaring them in the dennis system, ignoring their lives outside of himself and the sex he can have with them).

Cruelly, he decides that shes not worth existing without her breasts. And he kills her. In a straight juxtaposition to how his recovery started. Shes simply not given a chance bc he only values her for her breasts. And this opposite to 40 seconds earlier when he was going to tell her he loved her.

Once again, his fantasy is not happy. In it, he takes away his source of control, possibly gives it back to himself (depends if you believe in his dick being fixed or not), but takes it away once again by getting rid of jackie's breasts, and finding it in a different way. Nonsexual beings arent worth anything to him and the idea of emotionally and physically supporting someone is more threatening to him than murdering someone.

Women are sex to him. This can all be tied into his misogyny, his inability to have normal relationships, platonic or romantic, but, ultimately, its all trauma, and its bad enough that it manifests directly in whats supposed to be a positive fancy.

So anon i will leave you with

Confusion

[lesbiten]

the space between season 8 and season 9 is so important its clara and twelve trying for once to live without each other. clara thinks hes found gallifrey, twelve thinks danny is still alive. they believe the other's problems have been resolved. theres no need for the coping mechanism (each other) when theres nothing to cope with. however. since theyre both big fat liars, what does this do? make it substantially worse! the only way they were able to be apart from each other is by lying! as soon as the lie is over theyre back to being inseperable! because they are codependent on each other as a coping mechanism!!!!!!!!!!

no im ON the train tonight. look. the doctor and claras relationship is SO complicated i think trying to just apply normal shipping culture to them is like. is that all you got out of this. i dont even like clara that much but i can appreciate the fact that her character and history with the doctor is like. so much MORE than that.!!!!!!! i cant call their relationship romantic because it Isnt theyre not together romantically whatsoever but theyre entirely codependent on each other. how many times would the doctor have died had clara not gone back through his timeline and saved him? you think that would severely impact the way he sees her? is it not insane that claras boyfriend died (with the doctor being at least partially at fault for that) and her solution was to stay with him? to go even further from her life on earth? the fact that theyre both using each other for a coping mechanism that isnt going to last? nothing about their relationship is healthy! and yet! its the only thing holding both of their lives together! neither can live without the other but they keep refusing to think about the possibility! it can only end in tragedy! whatever