#I love love love thinking abt him and jackie I need him to be her discord kitten (platonic (also not accurate even then))

[arolesbianism]

I favorite hobby is talking songs that are 100% romantic and saying nuh uh and imagining Joshua amvs in my head

[xxgoldie]

went to karaoke and someone sang crush by david archuleta so now im thinking abt lighter romance enthusiast lorenz also listening to the most pining songs just the sappiest playlist known to man

as usual, i am Obsessed with lighter being down bad. he's such a fucking dork, i need him. have been listening to a variety of love song playlists for the last few days as i write this and its not helped the brainrot. cw: none, pure fluff, gn!reader wc: 444 (or 618 with the bonus)

when he's out and about, he tends to listen to metal and rock, the same kind of stuff that's in his demo trailer. it gets him in the right headspace for his champion duties. when he's alone, though? his headphones are playing exclusively sappy glitter-gel-pen love songs. he would rather die than let anyone know, he has an image to upkeep - wouldn't even put it past him to have a second spotify account, bc u know the girls will bug him to see his wrapped every year.

within the love song genre, his favourite songs are ones that remind him of you.

his listening history is an amalgamation of different musical styles, but what he really pays attention to is the lyrics; if there's a song that really captures the way he feels about you, or one where the singer describes their lover and they're similar to you, he can't help but put it on repeat. he also loves duets - just like with romance movies, he loves imagining its the two of you in that situation. when he's deep in crush territory, he'll even make a playlist of those songs (it's long - can't help that every other song reminds him of you).

when you're finally together, he's more open about his love of love songs. it may take a bit into your relationship, during some late-night conversation about your respective silly behaviours when you were pining over each other, for him to show you the playlist, titled with just your initial and a heart emoji. but even before that, if you happen to play any of the songs he secretly listens to, you might catch him singing along under his breath (lowkey this post every five seconds). you might chalk it up to him picking up the words of songs the girls listen to, but that's because you don't catch the way he looks at you with the lyrics on his lips.

there are other times where he'll slide up behind you in your kitchen, arms around your waist and head propped on your shoulder, the domesticity and the fact you're wearing his tshirt getting to him. he's not much of a singer, but he'll hum one of those songs in that moment (his voice has a lovely smooth n deep timbre, so his humming sounds Heavenly in your ear). he might get a little embarrassed if you recognise the song and start humming along with him, or god forbid singing, but he'll still sway the both of you along to the music. he's not much of a dancer either, but he can figure out a midnight slow dance in the kitchen for you.

bonus!! a few songs i think he'd listen to, tho kinda influenced by my own music taste (+ spotify links): kiss her you fool - kids that fly (he has it on loop when he's psyching himself up to ask you out) meteor shower - cavetown davy crochet - the backseat lovers (perhaps i'm biased on this one bc i crochet) stitch me up - set it off can't help falling in love - elvis presley cloud 9 - beach bunny ("even when we fade eventually to nothing / you will always be my favourite form of loving" really hits with his whole 'dying for love' thing) love grows (where my rosemary goes) - edison lighthouse paper rings - taylor swift jackie and wilson - hozier (there's a lot of hozier in his playlists, but he really likes the thought of a family with you, even if that's only a couple lines of the song) valentine - atlas sweet tooth - cavetown ("guess i must be satisfactory / you said you love me exactly the way i am" takes him Out i can just feel it) would you be so kind - dodie

[alicentsgf]

Do you think the writers genuinely intended for Jackie and Shauna to be into each other/have more than friends-type feeling for each other, or do you think they saw the chemistry and fan reaction and then revised it to be less subtextual? I just remember in season one some of the actors (ella I think?) and maybe writers saying it wasn't like that, but I wonder if they rewatched season one with new eyes and realised the potential there or something

i think writers lie and actors arent told everything/lie too because sometimes theres stuff an audience isnt meant to know or understand yet and its easier to just deny or omit everything until its plot relevant.

The subtext, especially in the pilot, was not subtle. You do not accidentally do what they did. We were hit over the heads with homoerotic tension and then throughout the show there are constant call backs to moments in the pilot that outline just how homoerotic it really was. All the lingering shots? Shaunas disgusted look at Jeff after he crawled out Jackies window, contrasted with her gazing at Jackie like shes a damn sunset 2 seconds later? Like this is our first ever introduction to Shauna and we are clearly supposed to spend it wondering if Shauna was in love with Jackie (I mean even my 60 year old Catholic mother clocked that shit), so then we can be shocked and think we were wrong when Shauna has sex with Jeff. But there is no way you put that amount of groundwork down just to trick your audience with a pay off thats basically "ha ha you thought she was gay? well actually no! ". like no, that was not the point of it. what it can do however is destablise us. encourage us to keep questioning everything. wondering what the truth of Shauna's feelings are. what her motivations for doing it were. to make us doubt how much shauna cares about jackie, because obviously its counterintuitive that someone would sleep with the boyfriend of someone they genuinely cared about. but then comes the context. the complexity.

Pretty much every scene we get of Jackie and Shauna in the pilot builds the quiet narrative of two girls who love each other deeply but are hiding from each other (and themselves). Jackie doesn't enjoy sex with Jeff. She doesn't say she loves him back. She fiddles sadly with her heart necklace afterwards (aka we are meant to infer Jeff gave it to her). Shauna is annoyed seeing Jeff climb out Jackies window. Jackie exits the house and we get Lingering soft look number 1. Shaunas visibly frustrated that Jackie and Jeff are back together. Jackie pretends everything is fine, she doesnt confide in Shauna about her doubts, instead she talks about losing her virginity with Jeff so they'll be "linked forever". Lingering soft look number 2 (pep rally edition). Then we get Jackie laid on Shaunas bed in a flowery dress in her attic bedroom (probably not a coincidence that jackie later in the same season loses her virginity in a flowery dress on shaunas bedroll in the cabin attic she uses as a bedroom). At the party Shauna stands there drinking and watching Jackie with Jeff half of the night until shes wasted. It gets under her skin so badly (on top of their spat abt Randy) she feels the need to lash out at Tai, starting a fight that Jackie then has to come break up. When they drop Jackie back at her house Shauna tells Jackie she loves her. Jackie doesn't say it back. Lingering look number 3 (dead wife montage slowmo edition). Shauna immediately tells Jeff to pull over and they have sex (Jeff has had Jackie in his arms half the night. Shauna will later in the same season tell Jeff shes turned on by the smell of someone else on him). Shauna begs him to tell her he loves her (because Jackie didnt say it). The next morning Jackie is packing, getting ready to go to nationals (she looks sad. she always looks sad when shes alone). Lingering look number 4 (plane edition). Jackie gives Shauna the necklace (Jeff is a conduit for their feelings for each other always, with the necklace symbolically bookending Jackie and Shaunas story in the pilot; jackie toyed with it morosely after sex with jeff because she doesnt truly want him and it ends the episode around shaunas neck).

All of these things individually don't necessarily mean anything, but all together? Undeniable. You can use the argument that Shauna is jealous of Jackie to make sense of some of it, that shes Jackie's best friend who loves her but is also resentful, and yes it is obviously partly that too which is why it explains bits of it, but it most definitely doesn't explain all of it.

You do not have to go searching for the homoerotic subtext here it was literally waved in our faces. The actors wouldnt have even necessarily had to know about it either, the selection and editing of footage does more heavy lifting than people realise. but either way they would likely deny it even if it was planned and they knew about it. its clearly an overarching element of the series as we're seeing more and more this season. Shaunas the closest thing this show has to a main character, revealing too much too early for literally the most key relationship in that characters life wouldnt do anything except limit the story and open up further questions long before they should be being asked. Not to mention, shauna hides from herself its like her whole thing, so she probably doesn't know even now what her true feelings were, and if she doesnt know then we as the audience shouldnt know either. Its similar in that way to the whole supernatural element. aka they cant know how much of it is real, so we cant know.

This is a very queer story, and I think it always has been. To me its always seemed clear the Jackieshauna of it all was very much deliberate. I've never really questioned that, even if the actors or whoever else has denied it in some way. I've been in fan spaces long enough to know you cant trust a single thing that comes out a writer or actors mouth lmao.

[barblisa]

lottienat au where nat stays with her at the retreat, they unofficially adopt lisa (ignore everything u may know abt her in canon except for she had a crappy childhood) as their daughter figure, but lisa surprises the hell out of them when she reveals one day that she has a little sister back home. lottienat rescue mission to track down this poor fifteen year old girl. lottienat meets lily (lisa’s sister) who wants absolutely nothing to do with them until slowly they worm their way into her heart. lottienat takes on this kid, all her friends, all her issues, and they become a family.

pls pls pls pls ask me abt this fic i’m so excited.

some cute little fam ideas to hold u over till i get a real fic pumped out:

lisa and lily have zero idea how to act around each other at first even tho they’re sisters bc they’ve been apart for a few years and things are tense between them now. but lily will occasionally do something like she did when they were younger, like climbing into lisa’s bed during a thunderstorm or asking lisa to braid her hair, and lisa will feel like a proud big sister again.

lily hates nat and lottie at first for taking her away from the only home she’s ever known. she’s a consistent foot-stomper and eye-roller, barely five feet but packed pull of teenage attitude. sometimes she’ll make a comment that’s so rude it’s almost funny, and nat has to bite down on her lip and look away to hide her smirk.

the first time nat and lottie ever hear a true proper screaming cussing match between the sisters, they’re shocked. bc where has lisa been hiding her potty mouth and why is a 15 year old using those words?!?

lottie wants to get her hands on lily’s hair so bad, bc it’s so long and gorgeous and perfectly wavy and lisa never lets lottie play with hers. turns out lily isn’t a fan of physical touch either, but she’ll concede for some head scratches.

nat isn’t one to overuse terms of endearment. you’d hardly catch her using “sweetie” and “honey”. her personal favorite is “babe”. lily knows it’s a stupid thing to feel something over, especially when she’s so insistent on hating natalie, but her heart does somersaults every time she hears it.

sister jealousy - lisa wants lily to have the family experience and she’d been the one pushing for lily to come live with them, but watching nat and lottie be so maternal with lily and really dive into helping her work through her anger, sometimes makes lisa sad for her younger self who didn’t have that. on the flip side, lily is always jealous bc lisa already seems to feel so secure in her relationship with these women and her new peaceful life.

lottie and nat are always trying to do things that they know will help heal lisa’s and lily’s inner child. like nat will cut the crust off their sandwiches, or lottie will break out the chalk and force a little bonding session on the sidewalk.

auntie shauna to the rescue a whoooole bunch. for some unknown reason, shauna is one of the only people in the whole world that lily seems to like. she calls her lame at first, but shauna turns out to be her favorite aunt.

shauna and jeff work on their marriage (bc jackie isn’t around for shauna to realize her gayness). jeff loves everyone and has come to consider lisa and sammy his kids as well (no matter how many times callie begs him to just play it cool), and he thinks of lily as one of his own from the moment he meets her. he’s just glad he finally has someone to play sports with, even if it’s volleyball 99% of the time.

callie becomes a rlly good big sister figure to lily. lisa is sometimes jealous at how fast her and lily clicked.

taivan reunion. lily starts working part time at van’s shop and they bond over having alcoholic fathers. lisa was never as forthcoming with jokes abt her shitty childhood as lily is, and van loves it.

lily babysits sammy occasionally. they honestly need a babysitter for lily too bc the two of them cause so much trouble together.

tai is the only one of the women willing to play real volleyball with lily. lottie refuses bc of her heels, nat tries and fails comically every time, misty is so uncoordinated with her feet that it reminds her of why she was never put on the soccer team, van straight refuses to move from her chair, and shauna can’t hit for shit.

misty is another one of lily’s faves. sometimes she tries too hard and lily will roll her eyes and say she’s a freak. but lily loves how she can be her weird authentic self around misty and she never has to be afraid she’ll judge her.

[fairytwles]

GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE FIRST TWO EPISODES PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 🙏🙏

OK OK, I HAVE A LOT

kinda out of order and all over the place but SEASON THREE EP 1 AND 2 THOUGHTS:

THE TAG SCENE IN EPISODE ONE QUICKLY MADE ITS WAY UP TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE SEQUENCES OF THE SHOW (LOTTIE SEEING LAURA LEES GHOST IN THE MALL STILL AT #1 THO)

the scene right after that where everyone is just having a good time is so cutesy and i adored it, it was so nice to see them all so happy because i knew they're gonna get into some fuck shit this season

speaking of cutesy, AKILAHHHHHH

MY GIRL IS RASING BUNNIES???? AND DUCKS???? UGH

the beef between mari and shauna this season is so fucking funny

I'm overall liking mari a lot more this season too (though it is only the first two episodes so that could change)

"get off of me gaywad!" ok prophet mari

ADULT TAIVAN MY BELOVEDS OMG IM SO GLAD WE'RE GETTING CONTENT

callie and adult shauna my beloved's

LOTTIE FUCKING MATTHEWS!!! SHE HAS DONE NO WRONG EVER IN THE WORLD OF THE WORLDS

she is my baby, my beloved, my pookie, my princess (both teen and adult lottie)

nat looking hot as ever, serving face in the wilderness like its no ones business

three jackie mentions, I'm simply winning

one of those jackie mentions being in an interaction with nat??? jackienat truthers win once again

speaking of nat, her funeral scene made me so :( natalies mom when i fucking catch you

natalie liking swings when she was younger MADE ME SOB FOR SOME REASON

she was just a little girl :((

also nats mugshot had me oh lalaing the entire time

"keep going mar I'll make it two weeks!" made me lol, like ok mom

the thing they had for jackie, javi and wilderness baby :((

also that fucking screaching noise??? what the fuck was that??

natalie, van, gen, and tai having a fucking HOA meeting was hilarious bc yeah, what the hell sure

cutting to coach ben right after natalie said he's def dead was silly

COACH BEN FINDING T H E PIT??? (we're pretty sure)

i need to know rn what else dead cabin guy hid in those woods bc damn they coulda used that shit awhile ago

adult misty made me :((( the entire time

HER SEEING GHOST NAT AT THE BAR?? GOD

HER WEARING NATS JACKET??? SMELLING IT AND SLEEPING WITH IT??? GETTING NATS DRINK INSTEAD OF HER OWN??? FUCK

the scene where she just fucking breaks down in walters arms because of nat.... her saying she LOVES HER??? basically mistynat confirmation for me

i feel so bad for her

adult taivan restaurant dine and dash was so silly

except for the part where u know... the waiter fucking died???

he didn't have to be doing all of that though, no way he gets paid enough to chase after people

rip the waiter tho i guess

man with no eyes appearance!!! i honestly forgot abt him

ADULT LOTTIE MATTHEWS SILLIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD

she has done no wrong,

the scenes of her, misty, and callie were one of my favs

i haven't stopped thinking about her in that fucking panda face mask

speaking of callie, mf girlboss, i always believed in you girl

the guts thing?? iconic

out mistying misty herself?? incredible!! who knew it could be done!

ALSO THE ACTRESS WHO PLAYS CALLIE IS 30?!?! FUCKING CRAZY

adult shauna and jeff at the restaurant with those hotel guys

her calling them out for being nepo babies LMAO adult shauna ily

the bathroom scene was crazy

at first i for sure thought we were getting ghost jackie, but like a different scene from the trailer bc shauna wasn't wearing the same outfit

but then after the phone thing i knew it prob had to do with hillary swank

adult shauna funniest character in the show its true

MARI FALLING INTO THE PIT???

THAT REVEAL HAD ME GAGGED

SAME WITH BEN TIEING MARI UP I WASNT EXPECTING THAT

the whole mari and ben subplot was so silly to me

both of them hobbling away 😭

ben practically put mari on a child leash and that will never not be funny to me

the hot chocolate scene??? eerily similar to jackie's dream sequence 🤔

ben going fucking crazy in the background, god mari is screwed i fear

SHAUNAHAT CANON??

I SCREAMED WHEN THAT SCENE CAME ON

LIKE ACTUAL FR SCREAMED

THE ENTIRE TWO EPISODES LEFT MY MIND THE ONLY THING LEFT WAS THOSE FUCKING LESBIANS

I DIDN'T EXPECT SHAUNAHAT TO BE REAL

melissa kissing shauna when she had a knife to her throat was so real, girl would do anything for some lez activity

now with that knowledge i def think hillary swank is adult melissa

cause like?? the cuts between adult shauna trying to figure out who left the phone and young shauna and melissa making out??

it was def melissa who left that phone

im still kinda weary about hillary swank being adult melissa because of the scene in the trailer where she said "wow you guys are really fucking crazy" cause why would melissa say that??

it would have to be someone who wasn't there

so i think melissas sister is prob hillary swank BUT, this episode made me much more confident

plus that imdb thing said hillary swank is melissa but i think I'll have to see it first

ANYWAY I THINK THATS ALL MY THOUGHTS

IF I FORGOT SOMETHING ILL ADD ONTO IT

[nyxi-pixie]

shauna shipman for the character ask game? (I watched yj season 1 so long ago and wanted how much more batshit it got)

SHAUNAAAAAAAA head in my fucking hands. i actually havent even finished season 2 bc i got too unwell about a certain death LAWL need to get back to it. but ive seen endless spoilers abt s3 and it def gets a lot crazier yeah😭

favorite thing about them: wahhh she has such a capacity to love, even when it manifests in all the horrid ways it does. actually i think in a lot of ways, it's exactly that that LEADS to it becoming so twisted. she becomes the butcher so no one else has to do it, and its just. this thing that becomes the very cruellest part of her was initially an act of love. wheres that fucker from arcane. why does anyone do acts others deem unspeakable etcetc. anyway. obviously love it as we see it thru her obsession w jackie, but her friendship w tai too theyre actually so special to meeeeee queer girl platonic friendship can literally save the world. and her looking after javi while everyone else (including his damn brother) ignores him🙁🙁 and then she has to butcher him. kmskmskms (actually started tearing up abt this AGAIN just thinking abt it boooo). and she doesnt even Like callie but she loves her without wanting or meaning to. etcetcetc. HEAD IN HANDS.

least favorite thing about them: it makes her interesting so idrc but she does have a tendency to see an opportunity to implode her life and throw herself at it just because she's bored with the life she's forced herself to have. and its the kind of frustrating to watch where its like you're going to die blowing yourself up and taking as many people as possible down with you but there was never another option so. here we are ig.

favorite line: its quite simple but her 'i dont wanna die' after she gives up on the bra underwire abortion attempt. AUGHHHH.

brOTP: TAISHAUNA MY ANGELSSSSSSS holds them soso gently. hear theyre being paid dust by s3 and im scared🙁🙁🙁🙁

OTP: i dont ship it typical wanting them to be together forever style but jackieshauna is just classic material. shaunas literally been obsessed w her all her life. throws up everywhere

nOTP: erm i dont think i have one? her and that artist guy maybe just bc he annoyed me but also i thought her cheater storyline was funny so he gets a point for that. also not massively invested in her yuri thing with melissa the hat wearer but mels failed lady macbething IS funny to me and deciding the reasonable thing to do w a knife to her throat was to make out w the person holding it is real as hell. lawd. rip shauna shipman you would have LOVED lezzing out at college

random headcanon: ☝️baby callie was bottlefed, and usually by jeff. i dont think shauna actually let herself believe callie was real and alive for a WHILE so i just dont see her being present for a lottt of callies early childhood unless it was for posturing perfect jackie-would-have-done-this stunts in public. like shes not going to sing callie to sleep but best BELIEVE you wld find her at parents evening!!!

unpopular opinion: all my opinions about shauna are unpopular bc i dont think shes a one note cartoon villain LMAO.

song i associate with them: boring choice but 'seventeen' by sharon van etten bc ive had it on all day and every song ever played in yjs is just soso perfect.

favorite picture of them: that face she makes when jackie tells her randy was asking abt her in the pilot ep. truly the most disgust ever shes so cute

im also obsessed with her absolutely feral grin in s3 when lottie axechops that hiker dude in the head. shes so fun <33

[quietwingsinthesky]

ok hiiii Will!!! just got hit with thoughts of mickey 'n rose again, they are sooooo fun to me. but also i love examining their relationship (romantic or otherwise) and i love hearing other people's thoughts on their relationship. so.... if you have any thoughts abt them please share!

-🌺 Anon

oh i think i have a whole fic about mickey somewhere hold up.

yeah! bit old, but, here. i’ve always liked mickey, even back when i was watching the show as a kid. because he was just A Guy, you know. unfair to pit him against the doctor, unfair to judge him for not being who rose chooses. He never did anything wrong.

(And. Well. Not to bring up fandom scuffles, but it is Telling to me how some people feel the need to invent The Wrongs Of Mickey Smith to prove how “bad” he was for rose. ‘he told rose not to read his emails, which means he was cheating on her and hiding it’ <3 what the fuck are you talking about. asking someone not to read your emails is normal.)

And they get to occupy one of those little relationship niches that I adore, which is like! they broke up and they’re still friends, still important to each other! mickey’s the one who comes with jackie, following rose from another universe! (mickey & jackie relationship underappreciated btw. the people left behind… the absolute rift that tore between them when rose vanished and he was the only suspect and jackie had no one else to blame (but herself. for one last phonecall where she didn’t even ask where rose was.) and then the fact that jackie’s the one who mickey says he’ll miss most during journey’s end before he leaves. sorry not to get off-track but i love them too. p clear to me that, dating rose or no, mickey’s still a member of the tyler family, esp by the end there.)

they’re all tangled up and complicated, lines crossed and feelings hurt, but at the end of the day, i think they were better for knowing each other. mickey never would have gotten to step up into his hero role in another dimension and learn how much he was capable of if not for following rose there.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e3 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

squeezing this one in riiiiight before the next two eps drop lol. anyway these posts are about me processing these episodes and if you want to read them then that's cool too. but fair warning this is gonna be a fucking mess.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

show opens on zheng leading a raid and INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH. this might be the first time we've seen a raid where like. the background music is kinda moody. and what's odd is that it has like the same level of comedically over-the-top violence and characters just having a casual conversation as like, the e5 cold open. but there's sad piano and strings doing tremolo in the background. i have no idea what this means.

god. zheng is so fucking hot.

i love olu's "no, no, sorry, bruv." and the FACE HE MAKES AFTER!!! so good

olu's a feminist

ZHENG IS SO FUCKING HOT

~champers?~ stede you are such a dork. i need to pinch ur cheeks.

yeah fuck the english!!

zheng saying "everyone's cracking down on the little guy" makes me wonder if the show is gonna do anything abt how the end of the golden age of piracy was like. a year off. which i only know from reading a few fics where the authors incorporated that into the plot. and there was the one trailer where we see zheng in jackie's bar while stede's giving everyone a speech so yknow what that might be where all this is going. big pirate battle at the end of the season, right?

another thing ive been wondering abt tho is just how much is this show gonna completely fuck with history. because like. is zheng yi sao gonna conquer the fucking caribbean. are we just going completely off the rails re: historical accuracy and inventing entire major historical events?? like crocs and pinocchio and pirates from different historical periods all existing at the same time and in the same place is one thing but if the characters like. overthrow england. then ofmd just straight-up exists in an alternate timeline at that point.

stede "the gentleman pirate kills with kindness" bonnet being so impressed with zheng is so cute to me tho

fhsjkgdhfushl oh my god when zheng snaps her fingers and stede hurries to refill drinks the other captain guy grins and flashes finger guns at stede and this is SO fucking funny to me

zheng being like "noooo it's stupid teehee" tucking her hair behind her ears ALSO very funny to me

whose job was it to make the letter N out of caviar for the title card in this episode bc it looks fantastic. got little serifs and everything

stede taking his towel duties VERY seriously and just. dropping them on zheng's desk for no reason. even olu is like "stede what the fuck are you doing"

obsessed with the running gag of stede being like "i always say that!" and other characters being like "no you fucking dont"

stede having zero impulse control and seeing the abacus and just being like "hey what the hell is this thing" and shaking it around. me too, king.

i wont lie tho part of me wonders if stede like. going overboard with towel duty and messing shit up is on purpose. like is he playing dumb so zheng lets her guard down just in case he needs her to think he's completely helpless?? bc at the end of the episode he does get one over on her and i assume it's partly bc she underestimated him. or am i just reading too much into it lol.

but idk it's weird that olu's like "ok stede zheng is busy" and stede's just like "im gonna shake this thing now teehee"

WAIT ALSO backtracking a bit. why were stede and olu shadowing zheng at the beginning of the episode. i mean olu i get, it's bc she has a crush on him (who can blame her) but what's the in-universe justification for zheng being like "yeah alright white boy u can come too"

stede's gay little run out of the room. GO GET YOUR MAN!!!!

awww the crew all look so sad at how messed up the ship is :( THAT'S THEIR HOME!!!

I KNEW THE GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 WAS GONNA KILL ME WHEN IT SHOWED UP IN S2 BUT THIS WAS TOO FUCKING MUCH. THE WAY IT TRAILS OFF AND WE JUST HEAR THE WIND ECHOING. FUCKINGGGGG CLAWING AT MY EYES

i love that there's knife stuck in the painting guy's dick. stupid gags like that never get old. also if that was izzy it's extra funny like what the fuck did he even do that for

also have we ever actually seen the outside of the door to stede's cabin like this before??? we saw those dutch guys get chased down this hallway but idk about. the door.

the crew is too busy feasting on raw bird like they're extras in a zombie film to hear stede calling for ed. love that.

the two people that the camera focuses on individually are jim and izzy. makes sense bc these are the characters who i think are gonna have the most important shit going on re: the fact that they all tried to kill ed.

stede's painfully awkward smile after "um... hi." i mean honestly tho what the fuck else do you say to walking in on this

oh shit jim was totally about to tell stede what happened tho. and then archie interrupted with "oh shit, you're stede?????"

this must be so fucking funny from archie's perspective tho. must've heard so much abt this guy and now she finally gets to meet the main character of the story she stumbled into about a third of the way through. and he's kinda just some blond guy.

stede sounds so defensive too tho when archie's like "i thought you'd be taller, charismatic, muscly" bc god that's exactly what he thinks he should be. i mean ok stede is charismatic in a very unique way but his whole e1 fantasy of having a beard and being all macho and badass was just putting all his insecurities on blast. and now archie is like "this is the guy blackbeard was so fucked up over?? really????"

shoutout to archie saying "got tired" when theyre all saying ed retired

also why was wee john in this shot. like not even just in the shot he's just sitting RIGHT behind stede listening to the whole thing. he doesn't have a single line.

stede rolling his eyes and ignoring izzy is so good. yes king dont take the bait

oh ok wee john was there so that we can see frenchie go over to him and give him a fist bump in the background while stede walks away to stare off into the distance

eddie on tha beach

piggie!

cave! remember when we were all like "CAVE KISS???? ARE THEY GONNA KISS IN THE CAVE??????" it would be funny if this is it for the cave. just off in the distance for one shot. cant actually tell if this is the cave they were posting pictures of last fall tho and idrc enough to try and figure it out

pig's name is ruthie. ed why did your subconscious name the pig ruthie.

why did ed's subconscious make hornigold tell him "open up for the cargo ship" ed your daddy issues are fucking insane

hornigold fully like rubs ed's chest for a second there. kinda a weird choice there.

"last time i saw you, you said you were gonna flay my skin and feed it back to me" man what is it with these pirates and forced autocannibalism, huh? i think getting flayed would hurt more but skin's probably easier to eat than toes so idk which i'd prefer. no i dont know why im pondering this either

smthng abt how this is ed hallucinating this whole bit where hornigold pinches his nose and force-feeds him soup is so funny to me. it's a metaphor for ed dragging himself kicking and screaming to therapy.

frenchie telling fang to stfu scjgdfchjxgk

fucking incredible line delivery from joel fry through the whole "it's quite hot, im burnin up here! should we go and get some coolin' bevvies?" bit. love it.

uhh line break

also bro auntie is dead-on about the guilt. i dont blame the crew at all for what they did but this + the whole bird-eating sequence bro. they all liked ed. they cared abt him. other than archie, they all knew him as a pretty cool person. like BRO im gonna have to make another post abt this but the trauma of like, someone you liked becoming so suicidal that he puts you in increasingly miserable situations hoping you'll snap and kill him and he keeps escalating it until you have no choice but to kill him for your own safety. but you know he was a funny and chill person before this. and you know he only did this bc he wanted to die. dude this shit is fucking heavy.

anyway cut to jimolu lol

bro what IS going on in towels. i love how stede just passes around towels for smelling. is this something people have done literally ever or is this just so we can have chloroform towels at the end of the episode

sorry i know in the last post i was sort of squinting at the bit where olu forgot how to pronounce china but the was he mispronounces eucalyptus is just so satisfying to hear i cant even be mad abt it

awwwwgh u can tell jim was scared to tell olu abt kissing archie

lmaoooo when jim says "i saw her boobs" olu's head WHIPS around and he's like "oh??" all wide-eyed dbhjgkhdfyjsk

naw im sorry this is cute. this is a cute tealoranges scene. yes it's jim telling olu abt how they hooked up with someone else but bro i LOVE relationships with this kind of comfortable discussion abt sex and abt relationships in general. i mean there's a lot more for them to talk about still but in a worse show this wouldve been a whole screaming match. instead we got jim saying "you're kinda the best friend i tell everything to" and joking about boobs and UGH. it's so cute!!!!

it's also so fucking funny tho. "i saw her boobs" "oh?? okay, nice" "both of them" "nope, too much" WHY IS THAT WHERE HE DRAWS THE LINE HFKHSGJKFKKJFHK

also when did jim see archie's boobs tho. like ok realistically they've seen each other in varying stages of undress just bc it's not that big of a ship and there's only so much privacy. but the funnier answer is that after ed kicked them out of the secret room and a few minutes later a gunshot went off (who did the rest of the crew think pulled the trigger, i wonder) and they think izzy's dead probably. and then jim and archie decided this was a good time to hook up.

wait i forgot abt the nebulous amount of time between the mutiny and stede walking in on them all eating a dead bird. who fucking knows how much time that was tho. but they could've hooked up then i guess

GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. IM SOBBING.

the song gets to play out more in this scene and ohhhh baby i missed this piano piece. also stede looks more annoyed than upset. he's just casually yoinking things out of the wall. and then he sees the ones on the ceiling and is like "really, ed?"

i think i said this in the tags of a gifset but izzy says "don't cry, bonnet" when stede's back is to him and i just think it's funny bc stede literally wasnt crying. he just looked kinda pissed off. izzy continues to not understand ed or stede even a little bit.

also i love how the music changes by just playing a minor chord and then there's like a spooky echo and then. no more background music.

i just realized izzy's crutch is literally just a mop he's holding upside down. this is funny to me for some reason

"he was a wild dog and we dealt with him like one" izzy hands racism moments

why does izzy even lie about this. why does he say "no i could never do that" when literally he did. he looked right at ed's face as jim hit it with a fucking cannonball. like. what fucking purpose does lying about this even serve. in what way does that benefit izzy. idgi

also ive heard that apparently ppl think he did this to spare stede or something but 1. why would he not want to specifically torture stede as much as possible 2. this is literally not sparing stede bc stede would spend the rest of his life scouring the entire caribbean hoping to find the island where they dropped ed.

RANDOM fucking idea tho but what if they did maroon him but it was on the island from 1x02. that wouldve been great for ed probably. get therapy from the old guy. have some coconut rum drink. chill out. oh well instead they shoved ed into a secret closet and left him there to die from a traumatic head injury.

hornigold calling ed "bro" was such a dead giveaway for me that this was a dream sequence or whatever. like from trailers and stuff i had already figured that this guy was hornigold and that he was probably a ghost or something but i think i mightve been questioning it a little bit at this point. but yeah anyway ed says "bro" and while obviously we dont know exactly what hornigold was like, he didnt sound like the kind of guy to say "bro"

i do love how hornigold's like "you worried you're insane?" and ed's just like "yeah a little bit!"

hornighost: you gotta move on or blow your brains out. or... we can make some soup. ed: yeah let's do soup.

wait stede told zheng that they marooned ed. and then zheng is like "well it's at least mutiny-adjacent" like no im pretty sure that's literally just a regular mutiny

bro rubio qian is so good at making faces

i love how ed's like "you ever thought about selling these shoes?" like who the fuck is hornigold going to sell them to. where does ed think they are.

OUGH RETURN OF ED'S HAIR ALL UP IN A BUN!!!!

ough... return of ed's trauma :(

ughughghuhguhughughgffffff every time i hear ed's voice in the bathtub scene i want to cryyyyy SOMEONE HUG THIS MAN I SWEAR TO GOD

also hornigold's mouth definitely moves in this shot where ed climbs off his body lol

hnnng... ed arm

oughuhgu and a strand of the wig came out of the bun WHY IS HE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYY

i cant believe for months i had my fingers crossed for the "person A thinks person B is dead" trope with ed hearing about the fuckery but instead i got it THE OTHER WAY AROUND. AAAAAAAAAAAHH

yo is hornigold wearing like. a flag. idk why i just noticed this but there's like a giant metal rung with rope tied through it holding his whole robe-ish situation together. is that a flag

very random thought but i love how tv shows just cut back and forth btwn plots and one plot might basically be one conversation but every time we cut back theyre in a different setting and we dont see how they got there. like the cut from stede walking in on the crew eating a bird to all of them back on zheng's ship eating soup. and now we went from ed yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" at hornighost's hut and now they're on a beach talking abt what the fuck is going on. why did they go there. who knows. doesnt matter.

ed is so fucking stressed abt being in the gravy basket. poor man is nervously playing with the big stick and trying so hard not to lose his cool.

damn he threw that stick really far tho. good arm.

im sorry but it's SO fucking funny how zheng is trying to seduce olu in this scene and she's like "whats the status of your boatmance is it... ongoing?" *unsheathes sword* like girl that's not seduction that's a full-on threat. i mean it's still hot dgmw but it's unclear what exactly you're going for here

YES STEDEY-BOY

loving the jaunty little escape music

archie and jim holding haaands

stede: you always say you have perfect aim black pete: ive never said that roach: you always say that lucius, throwing his beloved boyfriend under the bus: you said it today

buttons is so fucking loud fhjkhgyejkthfjkhg. ngl i relate tho

obsessed with the noise button makes when he slides across to the Revenge

and they use tea towels to slide over!! god stede really made the most out of his time in towels

~~

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE how olu is the one sitting on the desk with his legs dangling and kicking during this makeout session

also obsessed with how theoretically olu could've seduced zheng out of killing the crew and it's possible that none of this was necessary

wait i literally just realized that they stole the wheel not just so that zheng couldn't follow them but bc the Revenge didnt have one lol

ugh ed's tits look so good what the hell

ed in his head instantly associates the phrase "calico jack" with someone going "WHOOHOO" at the top of their lungs

oughu FUCK i did not fucking realize this but ed is taking hornigold's presence here as confirmation that he's not loveable. earlier hornighost said "you're afraid you're unlovable" but then when he's on the cliff and he's like "you brought me here because you hate yourself" ed is like "im not loveable." ohhhhhh fuck

and then hornigold is like "and you're afraid to do anything about it. but im not" and then throws the rock off the cliff. this is the shittiest part of ed's brain calling him a pussy for not killing himself and telling him he deserves to die. fuuuuuuuuck me.

oh boy okay. ed got yanked off the cliff. stede is heading into the secret room. idk if i even have anything to say about the mermaid sequence like i cant believe this shit is real. fuck. this is a fever dream. they really just... wrote this. filmed it. put rhys darby in a fish tail. FUCK

ok the two things i have to say about this. first: the fucking flashback montage in this sequence makes me stop breathing like every single fucking time. secondly: when theyre face-to-face in ed's mermaid fantasy there's a split second where ed sort of jolts forward a tiny tiny tiny half of an inch. and i have no idea if it's intentional. but it makes me think of how in the "you wear fine things well" scene ed TOTALLY STEPS IN THINKING STEDE'S ABOUT TO KISS HIM.

WRITTEN BY ALYSSA LANE AND ALEX SHERMAN. SHOUTOUT TO THOSE GUYS.

[night-dark-woods]

5, 7, 15 for the fic asks!!

thank you!!! this got extremely long.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

oooh hm. idk about Never, but ive been rotating the idea of Chalco and Aunor interacting bc the different ways they orbit around Ikora FASCINATE me, and the things that have been asked of them are very different. it would have to be epistolary i think and while i DO think i have enough primary sources to get their voices and values alright (letters from Aunor etc, and then WQCE my beloved), im not confident in my ability to do epistolary, & also i'd need something specific for them to argue about (that i also am interested enough in to litigate thru character POVs).

i've yet to decide if I'm accepting the TFS ending cutscene panel where Ikora is using strand, bc im suuuper ambivalent on Ikora using any darkness subclass- i need to re-listen to a bunch more post-campaign stuff to see how i feel about it, bc i know she talks to Mara a LOT in mission voicelines, and i think a lot of their past conflict has been over Mara's antipathy towards the Light & focus on balance over sheer faith in the Traveler (not religious Faith-faith, as we've talked abt before, bc i dont think Ikora sees the Traveler as a *god* like Zavala does- it's like gravity or thermodynamics its simply *true,* and can be explained. its not something that requires faith or sacrifice.)

but if i decide to accept that as canon then i think that would make a FASCINATING argument because Aunor has been Ikora's hunting dog for YEARS, cold-blooded killer putting down guardians who fall to darkness, and i think the sheer betrayal (from Aunor's POV) of Ikora changing her position on that would cause SUCH a crisis of faith for Aunor (what does that mean for what she's done in Ikora's name? what does that mean for how she can live with the weight of it?), and i think constrasting that with Chalco being Ikora's right-hand man (her silly rabbit / does she call you that / no) BUT without the blind loyalty that Petra has for Mara ("you are not the queen and i am NOT one of her cadre") could be sooo fun bc it wouldn't be a simple "Aunor mutiny Chalco loyal." i just dont know if Actually Writing it will provide more enrichment for me than just rotating the concept in my head.

that got long!!! and also ive partially convinced myself to work on it eventually lol.

anyway. that's the main one that i can think of, that isnt a "this scenario sounds hot BUT i dont want to write it bc there isnt enough character work to make the logistical nightmare of writing porn worth it" LMFAO

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

5-ish?

- Elsie&Amanda (nicknamed "horsegirl movie but its a robot with dysphoria") where Elsie needs help fixing some part of her body and she can't do it by herself for some reason and then has to deal with the fact that Amanda regards her body with a simple honest appreciation that Elsie will NEVER feel for herself bc of when and how she became an exo!!! her own mother calls her body a "walking lazaretto" and she watched her father die horribly for this technology!!! god!!!

- Ikora's fight with Madhir & how she let him eat her ability to want anything. god. Ikora Rey woman that you are. also inspired by the way the demon works in dunmeshi bc i think the Ahamkara should work more like that. fuck monkey's paw genie trick wishes, getting exactly what you wished for and in doing so losing part of Who You Are is so much better. the Ahamkara aren't evil tricksters they are PREDATORS they are the very tippy top of the food chain and as dunmeshi says. to eat is the sole privilege of the living. there is no moral weight to that no matter how violent and that makes the violence of it far more interesting!!!

- somewhere between 3 and 5 high-concept porn fics, 2 at WIP stage and several that may or may not get written, all Petra-centric bc i (and Jackie) love to put that dyke in situations (all have Mara/Petra/Sjur as a given established relationship, the two WIPs are focused on Mara/Petra and Petra/Sjur & the ones that may just stay as ideas have bonus Petra/Amrita(/other corsairs) & Petra(/Sjur)/Amanda)

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

song lyrics mostly!!! often the one i was listening to a lot while writing/thinking about it, or one that makes me feel like that post thats like "song that reminds me of my favorite character comes on and i make the most unwell expression known to man."

the problem is i want the vibe of the whole song to mostly fit which means i've recently become aware that i nearly exclusively listen to sad music, apparently, bc i could not find a Single Song i like that fit the very fluffy/conflict-free Amanda/Sloane fic i wrote recently, so instead its both a line from the fic and a bit of a pun on the content lol: follow-through (impact play)

[straycalamities]

Your post made me curious about Julien.... Would love to hear about him and Andrews relationship

hmm...the conundrum with that is i would like to show it one day so how much to tell...

the thing abt this is julian has ALWAYS been written in andrews life. one of the constants of his story no matter how much he changes. (he used to be named Matty) but ive uh...been a chicken to properly show it because uh its HEAVY.

so hm...i've gone over andrew's family life before so it's not meh to go over it again i think...

that's also mostly stayed the same.

readmore bc...ya boys gonna get long-winded

so andrew has a very strict mother with very high expectations of her children, but especially him. his father is more lax and easy-going, pretty carefree tbh, but bc of this its to a fault where he also just..doesnt want to confront his wife. so things kinda..go out of control in the household as far as...his mom's weird like..competition thing between andrew and his sister

so andrew has a twin sister Alana (anyone remember Jackie? yea) and she's pretty naturally good at whatever she puts her mind to. not that she doesnt bust her ass, but things just? come to her. it's just how it is. and she's very much a daddy's girl which pushes andrew into the role of momma's boy. so then it becomes andrew's dad and alana vs andrew's mom and andrew. except. it's pretty much only andrew's mom pushing this narrative, but she's a very convincing person and is the kinda person to naturally command a room

alana is also a naturally curious person so she likes to pick up hobbies and things and practice them until she's over it or good at it or both. and thus..andrew gets pushed into these things too, to not be outdone

the thing about andrew, though, is that he's got a more particular way that he needs to engage with things to actually pick things up and learn them. first of all, he's a very kinetic learner so just reading or hearing a lecture about it doesn't do anything for him. and unfortunately he doesn't have anyone in his life early on (teachers nor family) who understand this about him. they just think there's something wrong with him or off about him or that he's lazy/doesn't care.

but andrew cares. oh he cares. way too much. and he works. so hard. to try to match with the expectations weighing on him, but it just! doesn't happen! no matter how hard he tries! he can't absorb what he's reading! he can't process what he's hearing! when he DOES get the chance to just get his hands on things and figure things out, he shines

and alana tries to help because despite it all, she cares a lot about him. she tries to show him things or tell him what helped her, but it's just..different. the things that work for her, dont't work for him. and she also can't be with him a lot because she has a lot going on. she has big aspirations and she has lots of friends (more things he struggles with) how did they end up so different u_u

so andrew's daily life is very very stressful. he feels like he's always under watch, under scrutiny, every little thing is being judged, weighed, and measured. and that just makes everything much harder for him. he eventually learns over-time to perform great under pressure but that's because the pressure in his adult-life is nothing like the pressure of his childhood lmao

(and if this is a universe where he's got the necromancy thing goin on, there's THAT whole can of worms too. bc of how looked down on and oo scary necromancy is)

so its like..andrew does have his aspirations, his dreams. he wants to be an astronaut! :) and he maintains some semblance of that goal his whole life. he just likes space! he thinks its neat and would rather just spend all day learning about space than anything he's supposed to be learning. not that it's easier, but he's more motivated lmao

he's a C or low B student (idk how to translate american schooling marks into anything else sorry..american moment) and so he's not doing...too bad, but definitely not enough to his teachers or his parents. and he's "inconsistent" bc go figure sometimes lessons are more to his learning capabilities and he excels so oh no now ppl have Proof He Can Do It why cant he do it All The Time. fantastic.

being so focused on making everyone proud or proving everyone wrong in other cases (yes andrew does operate on a level of spite) has andrew finding little time for himself. especially bc his moms the type to not like uhh idle activities. everythings gotta have a Point of Growth. literally the only reprieve is that his mom works away from home a lot, but she'll definitely call or video-call often to make up for that fact. and andrew's The One she has her eye on. he's Her responsibility to better

(the thing about his mom is god she's a strict hard-ass but she does love him uh...so i'm not trying to make it all Ooo Evil Heartless Mother Time. nah she cares but boy is she awful at showing it. and that's not an excuse but..yaknow. it is how it is. her whole thing abt being such a tyrant is that she's worried about him and wants him to do better and Be better and so she's gonna force it down his throat til it takes ...rip)

ofc his family all has their bonding pleasant moments its not all hell all the time and like i said his dad and sister are more uh..better at showing they care but still not..amazing. the whole household like i said before in another post is more reserved than like..ji-hoon's for example who freely give hugs and stuff

anyways so alll of this uh..stuff is to explain: Andrew Doesn't Have Friends LMAO his entire elementary school experience is spent not having time for friends and eventually just not knowing how to Make them bc he had no practice or experience doing so. and the other kids don't think much about him because he doesn't make time for them? they've got other ppl to hang out with. and when a kid does make an attempt he fucks it up somehow or his mom scares them off with the Restrictions for how andrew is allowed to interact with other kids (if andrew wouldnt tell them tho they wouldnt have to know..smh)

by the time he's transitioning to middle school is when he meets julian. julian ALSO does not have friends (gee wonder why (youll see why)) and julian sees andrew not having friends either and thinks well! time to have this loner be MY friend. and julian is a pretty charismatic person when he wants to be. he knows how to small talk and keep conversations going and all that. i say this like a tween julian already has evil intentions but tbh..nah it DOES honestly start off innocent enough. julian has a lot going on at home too and wants someone to be his friend. simple as that. andrew doesnt already have a group, so..easy choice there. should be

the stuff that usually scares ppl away doesnt work on julian because he's a very anti-rules disobedient sort at this point already anyways. he just sees it as a challenge really so even if andrew makes things awkward by parroting his moms rules on how he can interact with other kids based on her paranoias about the typical Child and what they could teach Her Precious Baby it doesnt phase him. he gonna do it anyway

they do have interests in common, turns out! they like some of the same music. some of the same shows/movies. and things like that. the rest of it Becomes shared interests bc julians the type to go "hey i like this. now you will too" and for the most part? their shared tastes go a long way and andrew DOES end up liking most things julian introduces him to

at first julian does kinda..have no choice but to follow the Hard Rules that andrews got for hanging out so..they pretty much only see each other at school, they start picking up writing letters for each other to read only when they get home so they can write a reply and they get kinda lengthy as more topics get added lol

but eventually julian starts convincing andrew to like..shake things up a bit. asks where he lives. turns up at his window. just to chaaat ofc. theyre not gonna get in trouble psh.. its just talking. then it becomes andrew calling julian at home even tho he's not allowed to be on the phone, but if he does it at night then nobody can catch him (or if his moms away bc tbh does his dad rly care..? but andrew assumes he does)

and so julian and andrew get steadily closer and closer that way and andrew is. ecstatic. his first friend! and a really close one! they're best friends! and for julians credit, he's still just thinking "yay i have a friend. someone that makes life suck less :) even if he's a dweeb who i need to teach to live life"

and okay well anything further about them needs content warnings: very unhealthy, toxic relationship talk. manipulation

so unfortunately. julian has a very uhh extreme view on his life. he likes to exaggerate everything (usually for the worst) and jus tlike in general. not just describing it, he actually feels like his life is the worst life anyone could ever have. his parents split up when he was young and now he's being raised by his grandma who is also strict but in a way where its like..shes strict on him but lives kinda like..whatever, herself. shes very do as i say not as i do but julian hangs onto the Example she's putting off and hates her guts for having the Audacity to try to make him do different when she cant even do it herself. he also has an uncle who has his fingers in a lot of very shady pots and so julian is keen to things he rly shouldnt be at a young age

so with all that, he has a tendency to kinda lash out at the world around him. thats sorta his...uh version of coping. and with so many ppl putting him at arms length mostly because of THIS part of his behavior especially, he's only got one person at his side. loyal. always there for him.

unfortunately thats andrew

and it starts small like..playful insults. nothing rly anything at first it could just be the way he shows affection. but then the insults hit parts that sting deeper and deeper. and get more and more personal. and julian starts making almost memes? of some of andrews faults, weaknesses, and insecurities as if that's just one of their Inside Jokes they have, yknow, as best pals. so andrew feels like oh well i have to like this bc its Special and its just for me. i should appreciate that he's doing this. nobody else has this. and he's not being Mean he's just being playful

and unfortunately the more andrew lets him get away with it, the worse julian gets about it. the thing is that nobody's taught andrew self-worth yet. he's been too busy trying to be what other people want him to be. so here he is, also being what julian wants him to be: a punching bag. but he doesnt realize thats what it is. he just thinks julian wants andrew to be the type to be "playfully rude" with but, again, im saying julian goes way past that

and as julian gets older, the more he reserves what used to be how he was with everyone, being him, being genuine in all the worst and best ways, with only andrew. so everyone else gets this very like..agreeable neutral kinda personality out of julian. so then andrew also sees THAT and thinks wow..i really am special

and as years go by and they go from middle school to high school and social situations change around them, andrew feels even more lucky he's gotten somebody special to him and that he's special to because by highschool it feels like everyones already got their cliques and their partners-in-crime and he'd feel like a mega loser without julian. and julians shown him and taught him so many cool things that give him things to actually talk about with other ppl when they Engage with him?

but yeah throughout highschool julian teaches andrew more and more rulebreaking habits. they even set up ways to make money at school w stuff like..selling test answers or snacks or stuff when they can get away with it. or skipping classes or other things. vandalizing things. pranking ppl (harmless :) ofc..but maybe only physically so)

so we return to julian's uncle. liek i said he's a shady dude. well. he starts involving an older julian in his shady shit. so now julian and andrew are peddling fkn weed and prescription drugs around their school and neighborhood. eventually they're hotwiring vehicles to steal. (kinda uhh tragically this is actually where andrew figures out he's pretty good at cars and likes them a lot and even if he's having a constant crisis about Being Awful, he's also uhhh more motivated to learn how to do a new thing and Be Good At It. bc that's the thing isnt it? he's finally Good At Something) and stealing other things too

and i kinda quickened the pace here but its like..well it does escalate pretty quickly because at some point julian has andrew wrapped around his little finger and tho there are the times one or both of them get caught and andrew gets in trouble, has a crisis, and swears off doing anything like that ever again!! julian just has to warm andrew up to it again. because by highschool julian also has the upper hand in that he's become andrew's gay awakening. so now andrew has a huge crush on him and especially wants to impress him and keep him around and notice him and find him cool and worthwhile

and at first julian is sorta confused?? but diversity win! the manipulative toxic asshole best friend is also into boys! but giving andrew everything he wants wouldnt be very fun would it? he has something to dangle over his head. and he's gotten to the point where this is high risk shit. andrew could very much change his mind about everything about them and leave julian and the longer time goes on, the more paranoid julian becomes of this very thing happening. so he holds onto whatever leashes he can get twisted around andrew

he'll entertain his attraction but never clarifies anything. never gives him like..bold affection. never makes it clear how he feels or if he's even completely fine with it? which adds pressure onto andrew that he's just making all this up. or he's being the weirdo, pushing something on julian who might be straight or something

outside of julian tho, andrew's family is noticing his behavior bc i mean..also hes obviously getting caught doing some of this stuff. and his grades are even worse. and sometimes they get calls abt him missing school? and they try to intervene bc like..andrews got One friend. its gotta be this guy. so they try to ground andrew, ban julian, all kinds of stuff but they're slippery and they've got all sorts of workarounds. and ultimately, they still go to the same school. and..sadly. this, at first, just makes andrew desperate to keep julian all the more bc now he's beome this like..symbol of freedom and having Fun and living life to the fullest and anything related to home starts being associated with prison, suffocation, snuffing out his personality and everything he's learned about himself and like..even if he doesnt rly has Friends outside of julian (he's convinced julian is the only friend he rly wants/needs) he's still seen as cool! the Bad Boy, the Hookup for cool shit (snacks, drugs etc) he's a hit sometimes with the Le Popular Kids ooo... and he might even get invited to get-togethers with julian (julian is actually the introvert to andrews extravert but he Humors ppl for the image and he likes the way andrew always looks at him like a lost puppy when he's trying to figure out what to say in convos with other ppl)

but overtime, julians just gotten too comfortable with being too rough with andrews mentality and his emotions. bc he's never stopped his absolute drilling into andrews squishy parts in order to make himself feel better. or somehow blaming andrew for everything, even julians own shortcomings. and playing hot n cold with andrews emotions and etc. like there's just a lot he does that keeps andrew eternally unsure of where he's standing with julian or if he's doing things Correct or in a way that makes julian Happy. and as andrew gets older and starts Understanding things, he starts Understanding that hey...there's actually a lot about this that he doesnt like. he starts trying to...ask julian to lighten up. to consider his feelings on things. that he wants to do..things he wants to do? why do they always do things julian wants to do. why do they always get into what julian likes but never what andrew likes.

julian is...surprised and he does not Like this change. doesnt like that andrew is trying to cause problems? in their relationship? like why make this a thing? when its nothing? it was fine before? but the thing about letting andrew meet ppl, gain reasons for ppl to wanna talk to him and know him is that he gets to know how other ppl are and how they feel abt him. and though he hasnt made any other Friends, he's just learning how..Normal ppl are. and how julian with him is Not Normal. and its in a bad way bc andrew feels bad! he feels sick to his stomach sometimes. and nobody gets to him like julian does! and he thought before it was the crush but now he's starting to realize...he doesnt actually feel that way about julian anymore because he's just gotten so...Cruel

well now when andrew gets grounded/banned from julian, he doesn't fight it. he doesn't find the loopholes anymore. he lets things go and just kinda...tries to see how he feels? and he finds he...feels better. there's ways he feels worse, but there's a lot more ways he feels like he can breathe. like he's a person. and he likes it so...he starts to just ween himself off julian. and julian starts to act up more bc he doesnt have his usual ways to Cope and gets in trouble more, being at school Less and that just causes more distance

and julian is finally living with what he was most terrified of. and andrew is willingly? throwing him away? and he cant have that. he's at his wits end and panicking

new content warning: whew boy suicide mention/suicide-baiting

and thats all i rly have to say aint it

he holds the fact over his head that if andrew actually does officially cut ties with him, julian will kill himself. that he has no reason to live if he doesn't have andrew. that andrew is his everything and the light of his life, his joy, all that. and he cant't just? leave him like this?

and at first andrews like wait no this is awful dont do that..im sorry and like..tentatively keeps his ties to julian, tries to continue things the wya they were! just uh..different! bc if julian wants andrew to stay then..compromises have to happen okay? and julian says he agrees but catch things getting worse again and andrew in the same boat he was before

distancing

julian freaking out in a panic at 2am on a phone call describing what he's about to do til andrew apologizes again

rinse

repeat

but andrew eventually is just...tired. man. he's getting closer to graduating. he really does NOT need this. it's taking such a heavy toll on him bc rly! nothing else terrible in his life ever really went away, this is just an addition. it's not that his mom saw him acting out and thought oh...this is bc im too hard on him, nah, she stays hard. she gets Harder. his moms stern and affectionless and doesnt understand his plights, his sisters always so busy with her life, and his dad is out of touch. and mostly: andrew doesnt want to bother anyone with his problems. its his own fault, after all. its his mess. and he also is terrified of what anyone would think of even..half the things he'd have to admit to get them to understand. or even a fourth tbh

so one day he just..has had enough. julian threatens to tell his parents what he's done, what he's really like even if it brings julian down too. julian plans to be dead anyways after so what does it matter

and andrew just tells him to do it and hangs up

he feels sick to his stomach for days, but also is too fed up to call and apologize or take it back. he flip-flops on both so much he ends up doing nothing at all

and this is where julian is officially out of his life. i call it Schrodinger's Julian at this point bc did he? or didnt he? well what is the truth is he just does not show up again. so andrew is free but..he literally does not know at what cost. and the guilt eats him up alive for the rest of his life as well as all the damage literally going from like 12-13 to 18 with what this shit did to him

(cw: suicide stuff over)

this is where some of the stories diverge? umm..he either goes immediately to college or waits. with the college timeline Also diverging to oh he makes it somehow or oh he has to drop out

my default tho is that he does try, but he has to drop out. and makes an absolute mess of himself while he's trying. college parties and nightlife and everything else. sex drugs and rock n roll pretty much. everything he knows about connecting to other people is completely Fucked and so he thinks he's making connections but it's not real. and nothing feels like it did with julian but that should be a good thing? or should it. he misses the old julian and he misses the good parts and he feels like he'll never have that with someone again or that maybe...if he did...they'd do the same thing. maybe its dangerous to be that close to anyone. but oh he wants it. so bad.

and we'll continue with my usual story but uh (cw: drugs/drug-use)

we have to delve a bit into the fact he becomes an addict. because he very much does. with all the escapism he does in college because he's just trucking along without processing a drop of this? no therapy? not even someone to vent to or hold onto? nah man. shits rough. and he loses himself in many kinds of drugs but heroin is his Drug of Choice and also loses himself in other people but in shallow ways. he becomes a party animal but in the worst way and that becomes his "college" is just this whole social scene that he's not even engaging with in a meaningful way bc he's too terrified of earnest closeness with another human being

meanwhile his grades tank and he just...stops going. needless to say he becomes very much a disaster of a human being at the end of this. the thing is tho..its all self-internalized. he doesnt take it out on other ppl or even want to make it other ppls problems. he tries to just come off as this rly fun guy whos up for literally anything. and like yeah ppl who hang w him enough can definitely See Somethings Up but he's literally just like oh its nothing! its fine im fine! bc no if he opens up about anything everyones gonna hate and abandon him

and unfortunately this gets back to his mom and she uh...cuts him off. completely. if he wont get cleaned up. if he wont just...BE better jst DONT be this trainwreck of a son or else. dont associate with her. thinking maybe itd be a shock enough he'd just Get Better? (lmao) but lmao no. and he rly spirals bad after that but luckily his dad and his sister still sneak contact with him, doing what they can? with someone who doesnt wanna make anything anyone elses' problem and insists he's fine everythings. Fine.

what Does finally have him like?? find hope again? and cling to it and start to eventually put his life back on its feet again depends on the story im writing but something eventually always does and he always has the same Sponsor to help him :'3 darius...(his old roommate from when he was a teacher at thornville..remember that guy? yea rewrote him into here in a different way) and idk..things do look up for andrew! it's just...a very much uphill battle and that's kinda usually where i place him in like Current Events in whatever sceneario/story im thinking of is after he's gotten on his feet (shakily but he's there) and he's usually a mechanic (sometimes moonlights as a necromancer for hire as well) and he's Working himself up to trying college again but hes taking his time. and he's got some sort of support circle (darius, ji-hoon, and sometimes others)

ji-hoon he actually meets as one of his roommates in college and it takes a lot of Effort from ji-hoon but he sees andrew struggling and kinda nags his way into his life to help and is usually one of the reasons andrew gets inspired to get better bc ji-hoon is literally everything julian wasnt but like in a good way. he cares, unconditionally about ppl in general but especially andrew because idk they just Click right. and like i said in another post, ji-hoon's family basically adopts andrew as well and they're so affectionate and loving and give lots of affirmations and stuff and andrew probably cries bc he's never felt that much love tbh and then feels like shit abt it bc crying is dumb, but then everyone else cries too (happy tears) and its like oh

idk this is where i start having lot sof tangential thoughts so ill leave it here but uh! yeah! so that's the story of julian and andrew! and the damage it did! and yes! this is true in every iteration of andrew ive ever written! (the julian and childhood family stuff part, not necessarily all the rest that comes after, a lot of that's new)

[her-canine-teeth]

Isobel by flower face - notes

pov jackie blue, pov shauna red (not rlly pov but. idk when its abt them)

You’ll never learn to lie

technically she lied to her pretty often so this is just not true. but it fits w the melody idk

say your French goodbye

idk how the French say goodbye. but shes like literlly saying her goodbye here and i think its funny bc nélisse is can french

Stay up in the blue glow, try to rearrange

theyre both staying up and its blue. jackie is trying to rearrange whats happening; she imagines shauna coming outside when, in reality, shauna is going to sleep.

All your insecurity and encyclopaedic rage

by rearranging what happens she automatically has to change what came before; the argument. put it in a context in which shauna is still her friend, still loves her, still comes outside and gets her. still cares for her.

ultimately she doesnt. (cant)

Do you still think you’re a killer?

shauna thinks its her fault

Or that you could be if you tried?

refers to jackie trying to banish shauna from the cabin and therefore out of her life (in a sense), which is p sure as close to killing for them as it gets I imagine. (codependency captial letters)

Always thought that you could do it if you couldn’t see their eyes

she did know that she loved shauna. didn't know how much, didn't know (or wasnt fully aware of).

she might've thought that she'd be able to get shauna to go one day, or to let her go; (she tried to, during the argument. personally i think she can't let shauna go farther than that though.)

as in; she wasnt aware of her codependency, and wouldve said that shes able in any way to cut shauna off but! she literally never thought about that being an option, or a possibility like ever (she literally had their whole future - together - planned out) so. do with that what you will

[talking]

its supposed to be a flashback idk if thats obvious; ties together what both of them think about (the arguing scene); what haunts them, both of them, for the rest of their lives (though Jackies is significantly shorter.)

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

she does probably

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

jackie stays after her death. shaunas not allowing herself to move on, forever doomed to not only like have ur bff die on you which is honestly bad enough but to see her physically. not bc she wants to in that sense but bc she has to (needs to. cant live without her, though she never really lived all that much with her neither)

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

doesnt have much to do with the scene. BUT their names have the same meaning. do you wish your parents gave you someone elses name. do you wish we werent connected from birth. do you wish we wouldnt share such an important aspect of our self. do you wish you never knew me (like you did). do you wish we were never best friends. do you wish we never met.

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

cheating.

You used to hold your body like a gun

turning away from shauna/rejection (physical. as soccer players their body is like prettyy important to them, and on top of that is their physicality with each other and yk. being teenage girl i guess anywaysss i thinj all of that sorta amplifies to The Body being v v important also for whatever theve got going on GOD i cant think)

Now you give yourself to anyone

(shauna pov but its abt jackie) condemning her bc shes with travis. 'anyone' inn the sense of 'anyone other than me (shauna)' or maybe 'who the fuck is travis' (hes not important. a faceless shadow in a crowd consisting of only him)

Are you right back where you started,

pining over jackie

Or have you found another way?

consuming her completely. without any objections

Sugar rush, a stranger’s backyard, the devil’s holiday

yeah idk

You watch yourself in fragments, amongst the leaves,

'yourself' because. they're one.

And you conclude that you never were much more

Than a reflection in a pool

the power shauan had over jackie; jackie asking herself who she is without shauna. If she is without shauna. if she ever was even with shauna, or not; never more than a reflection of her, a poor imitation, bound to break on the smallest ripple.

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

Do you still wake up wrapped around an empty space?

Do you only know the good days once they’ve slipped away?

Do you wish that he would call you by another name?

Do you pour another drink out for the same mistakes?

[hoohoobeanie]

kit i just need to let u know that in cool about it some of them are also canonically in a production of legally blonde (bc i am in it rn) and we don’t have all the same theatre kids but for yours i just wanna say kimmy is so delta nu coded (margot especially) amanda is paulette coded and angela is so enid coded! sorry if i’m being insane at u right now but i thought it was a crazy coincidence and i’m curious if my predictions are right lol

aaaa i love this !! i was part of the directing team for a legally blonde production a couple of years ago, and i love it to death !! im happy to talk abt how i arranged the cast list for this (i spent so long thinking abt it)

so as we know, jackie is elle. i thought, i need someone with power and strength who has the most perfect comedic timing. and i was just like yes. jackie as elle. perfect.

damien is emmett, casual boy next door vibes. also would kill to hear him sing chip on your shoulder.

tommy is callahan. just. professor tommy vibes took over. sooo head bitch in charge of him. also him singing blood in the water? would be insane.

amanda IS paulette. weird boston woman giving life advice? with a love for ireland? thats amanda right there!!

chanse is warner. just think about it for a second. its giving straight chanse vibes. chanse as a himbo? yes. this choice was bcos of him playing off of jackie, and also because of my next casting decision.

angela is vivienne. we know she can play an uptight prudish girlie (hello grace chastity). and then the changela dynamic for vivienne and warner? yes.

kimmy is brooke windham. just. who's got the energy and charisma for that role? only kimmy. she would ace those high kicks.

as for more secondary characters, i have Erin, Mallory and Heidi as the 3 Delta Nus.

and i love Rachel and Tommy's dynamic, so i wanted to include her, and i think she would slay as Enid.

i think i'd put Olivia as chutney because nobody else can be that weird.

[barblisa]

agere yellowjackets thoughts <3!!

pls ask me abt any of this.

sorry if this doesn’t align with ur thoughts. you have to be in my head to know my thought process. it’s not in order or organized at all, but here’s a list of thoughts.

for the teen timeline, i am currently thinking baby mari <33333. just imagine mari being a grumpy little toddler and here comes one of the girls to the rescue.

and laura lee (mostly for the teddy bear part). imagine she starts panicking constantly after the crash, regressing more and more everyday, and lottie cares so much for her.

for the older timeline, i can’t stop thinking of everyone babying van!!!! idk i just love how she’s gotten softer in her older days, still a badass cool chick but softer. and i just think she has a lot of repressed trauma and she needs all the comforts (even if she won’t admit it).

think of lottie being so gentle and patient with van, knowing that van is hesitant to be around her. slowly but surely, van opens up to her again and allows lottie to comfort her.

think of mama shauna putting her mommy skills to use and doing things with van that she knows van never got to do as a child - shauna reading her children’s books with all the silly voices, baking cookies, comforting her after a nightmare.

but also… little callie! someone mentioned this earlier and omg. can’t stop the thoughts.

shauna sees this as a do-over in a way, bc she knows that she wasn’t able to fully enjoy motherhood (no matter how hard she tried). somehow it’s easier now that callie is older and aware. somehow it’s easier now that callie has trauma too.

while teen callie would rather claw her own eyes out before spending time in the same room as her mother, little callie is all about mama shauna! that’s her mama!

teen callie also always favors jeff, but not little callie! if jeff comes near shauna for any reason, callie will push him away and protectively glare. she’ll say “my mama” and she’ll throw the biggest fit ever when shauna scolds her, until shauna says “okay okay i am your mama, you’re right, only your mama, my callie”.

callie would have BIG separation anxiety from shauna and hates babysitters. unless it’s her mom’s friends who are basically her family now. she loves them. they are her best friends.

lottie didn’t get a chance to be part of callie’s life as a child, so she sees this as a do-over. she often thinks of what jackie would do with little callie, and tries to do that. even though lottie hates getting dirty, she does often bring callie to play outside in her big field of flowers.

callie’s favorite snack is bananas. but she doesn’t bother saying the whole word. just “nanas, mama, peas?”

her speech absolutely gets younger as she regresses. that’s a very telling sign for shauna. she always knows when callie is abt to regress bc callie will start mumbling, not finishing sentences, or giving simple one-word answers.

nat being mama to anyone is so real. subtle affection.

[arcadeviolet]

Huh interesting!! lol, yeah I have gotten pretty obsessed with nat but interesting thing is that I’ve actually started to get obsessed with her character as a whole in these couple months and when I first watched the show my fav character was Misty…. I DEEPLY RELATED to her and I still do but as i thought more and more abt Natalie’s character in who she is as a teen and as she’s been going thru SO MUCH also her adult counterpart makes me so sad cuz for all of that it just ends up that nat is the one who died first of the survivors after Travis😔 also Jackie and nat are my favs but my number one is nat and yeah also I’ve contemplated more abt Misty’s character cuz I relate TO HER SO MUCH but at the same time the things she’s done… the thing that really shocks me to my core is that she kissed a dead corpse (ben’s dead corpse to who she knew that he was always deeply uncomfortable with her touching him) and ik that Samantha hanratti(i think i spelt her last name wrong srry) said that the kiss was a respect thing and whatnot but it still makes me feel so disgusted

also the thing that I’ve done more is reading so much analyses abt the yj characters and any analyses abt yj!! I love reading them and ive learnt to understand a great majority of the characters and while i may not justify their actions many times i do understand it ummm but here’s the thing the actions and inactions that the characters have done is completely the writers fault (I’m not hating the writers but in a show like this I think it’s good to criticize different parts of the show) like let’s talk abt Shauna so for Shauna when I first got introduced to her in s1 ep 1 I didn’t understand her and I was very confused but in s2 i started to empathize with her and I got very interested in where her character has gotten from but s3 so ik that when Shauna beat up Lottie in s2 that was kind of a introduction to Shauna’s rage that we see more of in s3 and I liked how we saw the rage since Shauna just went thru losing her baby and that is so heavily traumatizing for a teenage girl but her punching Misty and then just yelling which lead to Lottie telling Shauna that they need her and for her to let it out… made me so surprised when Shauna ACTUALLY did let it out lmao cuz damn she literally almost killed Lottie

but whatcha think abt what I said?

yeah i think I get u

idk it's difficult to talk about... i tend to get pretentious when i can't express myself clearly lol so apologies in advance buttttt

the anecdote that comes to mind is an interview with david foster wallace (post modern author that i have conflicted feelings about) where he said authors' primary job is to make readers interested enough to read their stuff, basically that readers don't owe you their attention, you have to earn it. He also admits in another interview that his editor would sometimes catch when he had "ceased to identify with the reader," and made his work too technical or offputting or whatever.

Having interesting character parallels and character arcs, developing themes over time, complicating relationships between characters and morality, that's all great stuff. Looking at texts or works with those things in mind is sometimes called "structuralism," because it's about how the thing itself is built, how all its pieces are put together, all the connections that exist within it.

But like, that's the thing. That's all about what's *in* the text. I, as a reader/viewer/whatever, am not in the text, I'm outside of it.

I really hope that all kind of makes sense bc it's the best I can explain that when the show does something like have shauna calmly instruct melissa to sever ben's achilles tendon (permanently destroying any chance of him ever walking again) and then she holds melissa's blood-slick hand like it's kind of horny...

they knew they were going to lose some people with this season. They knew that whatever viewer they were identifying with, it wasn't going to be everyone (and it sure wasn't me).

[milfbrainrot]

oh we're SO. so fucking back

shauna's thing about how the only way to survive is to be the only one left vs. tai saying if shauna goes unstopped she'll be the last one left.

also mel on top of shauna as teens tryin to kill her versus shauna on top of mel as adults

lesbians cannibalizing their gfs from shauna eating jackie's ear to shauna eating melissa's arm to tai eating van's organ. callie should've eaten some of lottie or saved her hair.

SLUMBER PARTY MAKEOUTS??????????????????????? rational explanation: travis was reading one of those porn mags during the shaunajackie breakup fight. supernatural explanation: yeah sure i'll drink to that.

lolol the letter abt encouraging shauna to forgive herself is so funny. there's this trend of the survivors trying to take precautions or do good but it just sets shauna off because it reminds her of the thrills she misses. tai sending jessica out to investigate people? well now shauna killed adam. melissa sending the tape to get shauna to forgive herself (allegedly)(i don't know if i believe that)? WELL A LOT MORE PEOPLE ARE DEAD NOW BABE. in some way misty did the same - solving lottie's murder led to callie and jeff leaving which led to shauna remembering her identity when not bogged down by wife or mother.

the idea of them all forgetting things kind of helped explain discrepancies in the adult timeline. tai forgetting things because of her alt persona, only remembering when she partook in cannibalism herself consciously? explains why she did trust shauna so much in the beginning. nat probably forgot a lot bc of drugs and alcohol, and had to ask the others what they actually remembered. i think van remembered enough which helps bc she came in later and only for tai - she was horrified at seeing lottie again. she feels the weight of the responsibilities tai suppressed, being responsible for mari's death and so on. shauna had to succumb to a normal boring life tm and buried the thrills because nothing could ever compare. lottie's mental illness does a lot of heavy lifting probably but she wants to remember when she's unmedicated. misty is... well... misty lol. part of me thinks she wants those days back, but part of me also knows she helped nat escape to rescue them. she has a loyalty to protect her traumabond family tm and she was most loyal to nat, who was in direct opposition to shauna, so... we'll see what happens i guess. i just wonder - did they forget bc they were having fun or did shauna forget bc she was having fun lmfao. i think it's partly that for melissa at least.

also wtf is all the reality bullshit

walter... was there. i think. i still don't get his whole deal. i think misty took a tag off caligula's cage that had been from walter so ig they're done bc of how he treated the lottie investigation so disrespectfully and now she doesn't need him because she's Important to her Friends again. what is his fucking deal tho lol.

my gasp and grin when mari fell in the pit. GOD WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK!!!!!!!

hannah was at shauna's side at the start when they were doing those hut searches? really really interesting dynamic potential there. i am kind of disappointed she helped nat escape - i rly wanted to believe she was a freak here for the once in a lifetime chance to study the micro civilization they started. i think she... maybe just didn't know they actively killed people to cannibalize, and maybe thought it was more "well we'll cannibalize if this guy dies" or "kill to survive" without realizing an actual hunt to cannibalize was on the horizon.

shauna's antler queen garb gave her a joan of arc look before the headdress came on. i love the hair details - she first found hannah's hair on a branch and now she's actively collecting more. she left melissa to go hunt hannah and that was her prize. now mari's dead and this is the prize. i'm glad the feud btwn her and mari paid off so well with when she interfered in the draw. def gonna miss mari tho and im sad that social media post abt her coming back to sell mlm stuff wasn't true jl;sdfljslkdfj.

i guess robin and hannah and gen were red herrings for pit girl. i hope they have another hunt before they get rescued. hannah and a few others clearly don't fucking survive so.

THE BOX. HOLY SHIT.

wasn't there an actress who may have been adult akilah? still not sure what happened there

what happened to the FUCKING BONUS EPISODE I STILL WANT THE BONUS EPISODE

RECONTEXTUALIZATION OF MISTY'S CRACKED GLASSES SMILE ! very different from the actual pilot pit girl scene but same vibes. i wanna do a frame by frame for a bit.

god im glad pit girl paid off. i think the fandom did overanalyze it a lot at first but also the backlash to us overanalyzing it was stupid. most of the hype around it WAS before season 2, so we had rly slim options for who pit girl could be and less idea about who survived to adulthood. i think either way people got annoying about it but i was riding such a high watching it unfold and realizing this is what we saw at first.

what happened with akilah in the cave with lottie i actually don't. remember. like. why did she set up the animal deaths and stuff im rly unclear on all her stuff rn bc that ep brainblasted me so bad.

man idek what else just. no callie nudes on lottie's phone but close efuckingnough. i still hate that lottie died but this was the best fucking way it could've gone holy fuck. shauna and callie 🤝 beating the fuck out of lottie.

why did tai visit lottie that day tho

oughusdhfgljkskjdfhkjshdfkjlhjkfhnvkjlshkjldf god im just so glad the show is good again i hope it gets renewed now . kind of an okay place to end off if they don't i guess. lots of issues i still have with it but OVERALLLLLL we're so back. xo.

[tomsmother]

Eeeeeee I love my life we chatted and laughed and I told holden how much I loved him and how long I've followed him AND I DIDNT CRY BUT IT WAS CLOSE and I said "I'm alone a lot so sometimes it's just me, my dog, and you .... hope that's not weird " and we hugged and his back was sweaty bc he has a sweating problem which I love...??? Only cuz its him LMAO and he has this horrible habit of getting Chipotle with no beans and SHITTING horribly so on the way we stopped for Chipotle in his honor and told him and he asked if we shit our pants HAHAHA and omfg jackie and MJ who I also fucking would kill for were so sweet and funny and complemented my tattoos and we hugged like 4 times LMAO and I made some good jokes hehe. Jackie is hot and charming and i melted and MJ and i are top surgery buddies and they said i looked good in a dress ugggg, literally laying in my hotel bed rn thinking of the night 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 also normally they go out and drink with the vip but they were all too hungover from the show last night. Which thank god cause I don't need to unleash my crazy on them who fucking KNOWS what I would say if I kept drinking around them! (AND I KNOW TOO MUCH ABT THEM PERSONALLY)

Oh ya and I'm in the hotel laying beside a girl I went on 1 tinder date with a year ago and neither of us texted each other afterwards right.... but when I got the notif this pod was going on tour in a city close to us in Canada I texted her out of the blue (because shes the only person i know who is obsessed like me), hey wanna drive to Washington to see page 7? And she responded IMMEDIATELY saying "I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TEXT YOU" so me and a one time tinder date that was nothing special drove 7 hours and stayed in a hotel together LMAO. Which we told them haha and jackie said if you're married in 5 years email us hahahqh ALSO had a blast driving with this girl and drinking with her last night and she wore a shirt that said I ❤️ submissive men

Wow sometimes life if fucking amazing and my leg pain ain't too bad today 😫😫 feeling blessed 🙏

eeeeeeEee I have vip tix to a show tonight where Ill get to meet a couple comedians I've LOVED for years, who's podcasts I've listened to multiple times over, who've literally kept me company when I've moved to new cities countless times & knew nobody. I literally talk abt them to my friends like I know them HAHAHAHHA omg I'm NERVY AND EXCITED I MAY CRY I literally love them